#I also wanna say these jokes also make me think poorly of the male characters as well

[spock-smokes-weed]

Okay so now that I'm a good way through the series (just got to thiller bark) and I want to sort out my feelings on Nami.

So I really do like Nami, but the way she's sexualized is really starting to get on my nerves and is preventing me from really loving her.

I love how pragmatic she is, how she's often the one solving things out, and how important she is to the crew as the navigator. But there are so many scenes of Nami's body being objectified that make her stop feeling like a character sometimes. And that really sucks.

I just read the scene in thriller bark where she's fucking assaulted in the bath, and that scene is quickly used as a peeping joke. Which was actually upsetting to read. And that scene really kind of got to what had been bothering me about Nami up to that point: sometimes, she's treated very differently by Oda, and by extension the men of the crew, because she's an attractive woman.

And listen I did two tours in the naruto fandom, I am not about to start blaming Nami for this. But it does really get in the way of me really loving her cus it feels like sometimes she stops being a character so the men and the audience can oogle at her.

Does anyone else feel this way? Does it get better? I feel really torn because I do want to love Nami, but her over-sexualization makes me really uncomfortable.

[dragynkeep]

I saw that you did top 5 best female & male characters in rwby and why, so i was wondering could you do the same but for 5 rwby worst female & male characters you dislike and why.

luke did this ask before along with the best one so i’mma steal this for me.

worst female characters.

robyn hill  —  hands down one of the most annoying additions to the show. she is meant to be robin hood yet fails in the character’s motivations & ideals in every instance, her outfit / general design are clunky & poorly thought out, her personality has the exact desirability of hot garbage juice & she herself is just as appealing. the only slightly fun thing about robyn is her voice actress, the amazing christina vee & the potential she could’ve had that i really enjoy seeing be brought out in fanfics instead. in canon? robyn can go rot.

blake belladonna  —  our resident all lives matter queen who was meant to be a champion for all minorities watching the show, a bisexual icon & a shining example of an abuse survivor ... only to fail on all three. blake’s influence on the racism storyline only makes her come off as a privileged brat who would lecture those who are just trying to survive & blame them for the actions of a terrorist organization she was part of, & it was dropped as soon as her abusive ex was killed. her actions as an abuse survive are nonsensical at times. & blake wasn’t even confirmed to be bisexual representation until eight years into the show & she / her female love interest still aren’t canonically together while the cishet writers hide behind a slow burn excuse that was never applied to their m / f couples.

ruby rose  —  it sounds nonsensical to say this about our main character & i wouldn’t have put her on this before v7 & 8, but her favouritism by the narrative in those two volumes to the point the story would break it’s back to justify her drove me crazy. i was watching this character who we were meant to root for make mistake after mistake after mistake & hide behind her age & inexperience like a coward; like she hadn’t shoved her way into this war & rejected everyone around her who had experience & wanted to help because they didn’t want to do it her way. ruby behaved like a petulant child & i have no doubt that this isn’t going to change.

cinder fall  —  listen she was always a middling type of character for me, i didn’t hate her but i didn’t love her either. cinder was just cinder, a kind of flat antagonist who didn’t go anywhere; until they tried to make her go somewhere & in doing so had her repeat the same character arc like three times. her “backstory” that was just cinderella lazily copy & pasted eight years after people had been asking for it was the final nail in the coffin for me. they waited too long & got too lazy.

nora valkyrie  —  again, not really a character i thought i would’ve put on here after i really started to like her in volume 4 when she & ren finally began to get character development. they were kind of in the background which annoyed me but they weren’t being obnoxious so it was fine. i want to go back to v4 - 6 so bad lmao; nora in these two volumes has been horrendous. not only did she ignore all of ren’s boundaries when he was trying to ask for space, she thought the appropriate action to him asking for that space & struggling to vocalize it was to kiss him without consent. and then, she co opts his entire arc anyways for v8 & now it’s nora who wants the space & ren is being unreasonable, ren is forcing her boundaries, ren is in the wrong. fuck her stupid ass one liner backstory too. nora dropped so far on my shitlist because of her actions the last two volumes smh.

worst male characters.

qrow branwen  —  again much like ruby & nora; i never thought i’d put qrow on here but his behaviour in these last volume especially has just dropped my fondness for him all the way to the grave lmao. he acts so much like ruby, a petulant child who was told no & lost his favourite toy, while acting like he didn’t specifically break that toy. he went from someone who was level headed, if an absolute asshole to a whiny manchild who spent the entire volume crying in a jail cell about how he was gonna kill his dead boyfriend’s boss because he doesn’t wanna admit he got him killed. & then he forgot about that in the last five minutes to cry about his potentially dead nieces, which only left me thinking, where was your concern about them the rest of this volume qrow? so yeah. on the shitty character list you go buddy.

ghira belladonna  —  i would change my mind & make this dumbass number one but he’s always annoyed me so i’m more settled with that emotion whereas qrow is a new development. but ghira is literally worse than annoying, he’s a useless character who takes up space & actively worsens the plot & the character  —  mainly blake  —  that he’s connected to. everything from his useless pacificism to the fact he’s a privileged faunus living in a mansion while his people are in huts to the fact that he’s now retaken the helm at the head of the white fang like?? what about his mentality has changed & how will that prevent another terroristic faction raising up in result of his negligence towards their people in favour of his own comfort driven pacifism?

hazel rainart  —  sir, your motivation is hokey & your hair is dumb & your braid ribs are giving me nightmares. originally i didn’t have as much of an issue with hazel infantilizing his grown twin sister because i thought we were at least going to get some rebuttal to this man using her death to metaphorically & then physically beat on ozpin. but no, he was validated & then had the gall to use her name in order to guilt trip ozpin in the “ no more gretchens ” line  —  like he hadn’t created dozens of gretchens in mistral with tyrian? sir you are a mass murderer  —  & then went out like an ass in one of the laziest redemption arcs i’ve ever seen. bravo, you suck.

adam taurus  —  he’s really not the highest on this list because i recognize that this is more because of milk & kornflake’s white comfort bleeding into their writing of a marginalized man & less of actually him as a character. adam is a bastard but he’s so much of a hate sink that i can’t take him seriously or hate him because of these traits; if mkek told me he killed puppies as a hobby, i wouldn’t hate adam for that, i’d hate them for continually making him edgier & edgier while ignoring their own racism around his writing.

scarlet david  —  this one’s a little bit of a joke one but also, i just hate this catty fay gay. get back in the closet sir because your face annoys me & your attitude stinks. i’m renting the down with cis bus just to run him over. ♥

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

I know it's been said before buy I just have to say I know the whole demetri and yasmine plot was just so that all the gay undertones of the rivalry and obsession and tension between Demtri and hawk could be easily overlooked

Lololol Anon you’re not even WRONG

Once they yeeted Moon out of the picture the writers were like “Oh shit, better No Homo it again!!!”

I guess in the writer’s (very feeble) defense, they DID set it up kinda, by having Demetri be like “Wow!!! I’d love to have Yasmine spit in my face!!!” and then very atrociously trying to hit on her at the beach party. But I thought his sorta-crush on her was just supposed to be like...comic relief??? Like “haha look at this nerdy guy being hot for this sexy popular chick he’ll never, ever get, isn’t it good memes???” I mean, him coming on to her at the party and just FAILING at every level was so incredibly funny BECAUSE of how much someone like her was just...never going to go for a dude like that in a million years. Like I thought that was the whole joke??? And Cobra Kai seems a bit more realism-leaning than some teen shows in how the teenagers actually act, so I figured from that angle it was gonna be the trope of “nerdy guy into hot popular bitchy girl” set up...but then, Reality Ensues, and she’s not only not remotely interested, but mildly to moderately disgusted at the idea. And that’s the comedy of it.

So yeah, after Season 1, I thought we were done with that whole arc, and it was literally just like...a joke “love” subplot to balance out the more serious relationship difficulties Miguel was having at the time. But now...Yasmine’s back, I guess??? And she apparently did a full 180 and is sorta nice now and went through a bunch of Character Development offscreen, none of which we got to see? So I GUESS her and Demetri were hinted to eventually become a thing, just like...very, very poorly. And in “hints” I assumed we were in no way meant to take seriously at all.

But yeah, the Yasmine/Demetri thing DOES seem kinda thrown in last-minute, given how finished that arc felt back in s1. And we only ever really get to see Yasmine when she’s interacting with Demetri, so it really feels like she was only brought back to be his love interest, which like...VERY weird flex, Cobra Kai writers, but okay :/

It IS incredibly sus how much time and energy Hawk and Demetri devote to their rivalry in particular, rather than like...idk, moving on with their lives??? Just ignoring each other and doing their own things, now that they are officially no longer bros and are in different friend circles, etc etc? Like they go OUT OF THEIR WAY to fuck with each other when they could just like...chill and move on. Like Demetri, a socially-awkward dude with limited people skills, works up the balls to get onstage and roast Hawk in front of an entire partyful of peers. Hawk SEARCHES THROUGH AN ENTIRE SCHOOL to hunt down Demetri at the school fight. Hawk goes up to Demetri on the first damn day back at school just to GLARE at him ominously (which I also just realized is RIGHT after some freshman girls give Demetri moony looks as they pass--jealous much???) Later on, Hawk coulda ignored Demetri and finished eating lunch with his Cool New Friends, but instead he goes out of his damn way to bust Demetri’s project and then come over and roast him about it. Demetri then eagerly goes over and reciprocates said roasting and spends that entire fucking soccer game tryna screw with Hawk in particular. They fricken almost IMMEDIATELY go for each other in the Golf N Stuff fight, IIRC. Really, they devote more time and energy to each other and their Rivalry™️ than either does to like...any other character? Like are Eli’s thoughts 90% “what’s the next thing I can do to fuck with Demetri?” Are Demetri’s thoughts 90% “what’s the next thing I can do to fuck with Eli?” Because like...I just don’t think obsessing over another man that much, even in a negative context...is very straight XD

There’s also the fact that their arcs are WAY more intertwined with each other’s than ANY girl either of them dates or interacts with. I mean ffs, Moon dumped Hawk BECAUSE of how he treated Demetri--even Hawk’s supposed Straight Romantic Subplot™️ ties directly back into Demetri! And the only reason Demetri joins Miyagi-Do at ALL and doesn’t just like...fade into the background in Season 2 is to show HAWK SPECIFICALLY that he can “fight back.” And later we have DEMETRI being the one to make Hawk realize he’s gone too far with Cobra Kai (i.e. his guilt after breaking Demetri’s arm) and ultimately being the catalyst that makes Hawk SWITCH SIDES! I honestly think every major point of development for both characters directly involves the other in some way--you could even argue Eli initially becomes “Hawk” in part because Demetri quits Cobra Kai, and isn’t around to stick up for him anymore--so he has to find another way to protect himself from bullying. Even their sense of “dojo rivalry” is mostly just about each other--Hawk’s animosity toward Miyagi-Do lowkey seems to stem almost entirely from Demetri in particular joining it and “betraying” him, while Demetri’s animosity toward Cobra Kai basically entirely comes from Cobra Kai taking Eli away from him. I literally like...cannot think of a single thing in either of their developments that doesn’t tie into the other in a major way. 

Like to put it plainly, Moon and Yasmine feel like a single step in each of the boys’ character journeys--a single turning point to spur them in a certain direction. But Demetri and Hawk just...ARE each other’s character journeys. They’re not a step for the other to discover something about themself or get pushed in a certain direction--they just ARE the entire arc for each other, if that makes any sense. Like you could argue BOTH Demetri and Eli/Hawk’s arcs like 90% center on how to navigate their relationship when Eli gains confidence and their interests diverge and they no longer need each other the way they used to. Like??? Name ONE aspect of either of their arcs that doesn’t tie directly into their undying gay love friendship in some way??? It’s INCREDIBLY integral to both their stories and is just...SO much more compelling to watch than either of them making out with hot girls at parties or in the hallway. And them repairing their relationship and/or evolving it as needed, realizing that they love each other too much to let one another go, even if they’re both somewhat different after everything??? And realizing it’s a romantic kinda undying love they’re feeling, because really, what good reason is there for it NOT to be??? We HAVE enough male characters in media already with strictly platonic/brotherly friendships, why not just let two male characters with a compelling story, a strong prior friendship, and REALLY good romantic chemistry just like...be gay??? It feels natural, it’s a good ending to their arc, it feels narratively satisfying in a “Finally having the ‘will they or won’t they’ couple get together” kinda way...why not do it??? It makes ALL the damn sense and would be incredibly thematically interesting and SATISFYING, but y’all writers are COWARDS DAMMIT

Just gonna make that crack ship from Season 1 canon so we can prove that Demetri isn’t gay, no sir??? No Homo my guy??? We can only have one (1) LGBT character per television show, or the “traditional values” viewers will come for us???

Pre Season 3 I honest to god was hoping that part of Demetri’s arc, if he ran into Yasmine again, would be him realizing that he could honestly do better than someone that bitchy and vile, and having enough self-respect to just...lose interest in someone who’s going to push him around, act like he’s beneath her, and talk smack about his friends the second she thinks they’re “lame.” Maybe it isn’t too late though, and we’ll see this in Season 4? Here’s to hoping, because I am going to THROW HANDS if this fricken pairing is ENDGAME endgame. Like...what even do these people have in common, besides getting wedgies??? Do they even have like...any of the same interests??? At all??? How are they going to build a lasting relationship off of...both having gotten a wedgie? And being mean to people sometimes, I guess?

Like, sure. Let them date for a bit--they’re horny teens, they’re prone to jumping into relationships for not exactly the most deep and meaningful reasons. Physical attraction, teenage horniness, and raging hormones are no joke. So sure, I can see them having a fling solely because they both think the other’s hot. But you wanna tell me they’d LAST??? No SIR, I must inform you I Do Not Buy it.

(Tfw you meant to do a short ask making memes about what a crackship Demetri/Yasmine was in Season 1 and you ended up having WAY too much to say about All The Things and now it’s 3 am and you’re typing like a madman. I probably cycled back across the same 5 points like 5 times each because it’s late and I’m not thinking straight, I apologize.)

[aaronhart93]

ménage à trois || aaromtin

Discord thread featuring: Aaron & @quentindelancret & @romanbeckett

When: Jan 8th, 2020

Where: the grind 

Mentions: -

Description: aaromtin becomes official

Trigger Warnings: -

Quentin.

Quentin was nervous to say the least. But he knew this conversation was one that all three of them needed to have. He had been so torn for the past week, just trying to think of any type of solution to ease his mind. But now everything was coming to a head. He asked Aaron and  Roman both to meet him at the Grind, but he was sure as hell taking his sweet time on going in. He was just sitting in his Tesla outside of the shop smoking a cigarette and watching as both men walked in to the establishment. Honestly, he didn’t even know what he was going to say. All he knew was that he loved them both, and he really didn’t want to have to choose. He grabbed his new man purse that Aaron had bought for him in Cali, and he draped it over his shoulder. Getting out of his car and heading inside before watching the two men from a distant. Accidentally giving himself away after only a few minutes when he tried to duck out of the sight of Karen and knocked over a display of coffee cups.

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Was Roman a little nervous about Quentin asking for this last minute meeting at the grind? Honestly, yeah. It seemed odd that he’d want to meet in such a public setting if he wanted to talk, but at the same time, he could just be paranoid. As much as Roman didn’t like to think of himself as a pessimist, sometimes he just really couldn’t help but be unsure of things. “What do you think this is about?” Ro looked over at Aaron while he nursed his black coffee, blowing on the steamy surface before taking a sip. His attention was pulled away from the smaller male immediately when he heard a crash in the distance, squinting when he realized it was Quentin knocking over their display of coffee cups. Fuck, he’d worked forever on those. But also, why the hell was he being so weird? “Q?” Ro raised a hand, as if he was unsure if the other male even saw them or not.

Aaron.

How was Aaron only just now finding out that him and Roman had the same coffee order? It was probably something that he should've asked the other man a long time ago considering Roman made his coffee for him nearly every morning. Aaron had already chugged half his coffee even though it was still steaming hot. Consider him a caffeine addict among other things. He was just so nervous he needed something else to do. His attention turned to Roman when he spoke to him. He had a pretty good idea of what Quentin was wanting to talk about but he was unsure as to why Q had picked such a public place to do so. Aaron scratched his head and before he could answer, he head something fall, followed by Roman calling out for the youngest of the three. He peered over his shoulder to see the musician surrounded by fallen coffee cups. He got up to start cleaning them up. "You okay?" He asked, as he bent down to start clearing everything up.

Quentin.

Quentin’s face absolutely couldn’t be any redder than it was right now. His hands frantically reaching for each cup as he tried to pick up the fallen display. “No, it’s okay. I got it” he said to Aaron. Not even making eye contact as he set the cups back up on their pedestal. “I’m good. Yeah, I’m great” he nodded with a nervous little chuckle. His eyes shifting over to Roman with a nervous smile before looking back at Aaron. “Hey do you guys wanna get out of here? I wanna take you guys somewhere” he said a bit shiftily. His fingers fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie as he started to walk backwards toward the exit. He wasn’t sure what he was even thinking right now. But seeing these two together was a tad overwhelming.

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Roman felt a little guilty for the way Quentin was acting, though he wasn’t sure why. He just seemed so...off, and he couldn’t help but feel like maybe it was his fault? Still, he smirked and nodded when the other male suggested going somewhere else, and began gathering his things. “Taking us to a secondary location to kill us?” Roman decided to joke, because he was king of inappropriate comments, so why not? Once he had his coffee in one hand, he used his free hand to rub over Quentin’s back, trying to calm him down since he seemed so on edge. “Are you okay?” He asked, and then chanced a glance back at Aaron. God, he hoped all of this wasn’t about to blow up in their faces.

Aaron.

Aaron kind of lifted his head to watch Quentin place the rest of the cups on the display with a worried look on his face. Now he was starting to get a little nervous. Well, he'd been nervous for this...but now this was all seeing a little too real. Aaron grabbed his peacoat and suitcase, barely laughing at Roman's joke even though on a normal day he would have been on the floor laughing. Aaron gave Roman a look that said 'I have no idea but I'm worried about him' as he looked back at the businessman. He darted in front of them to open the door for the both of them. "Where are you taking us, Q?" He asked, trying to sound casual even though his heart was rapidly beating against his rib cage.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰

It was definitely out of character for Quentin to be acting this way. The look on both Roman and Aaron’s faces making that even more evident with each interaction. “Ha, yeah. I’m totally gonna kill you” he grinned playfully at Roman. His head nodding in thanks to Aaron as he pushed the door open and he made his way outside. “I’m just taking you up there” he pointed toward the roof. “This way.. ya know. If this goes poorly, I can just jump” he mused. Obviously joking even though the joke was hella distasteful. He turned around just slightly to grab ahold of Roman’s hand and then led them both toward the back of the building. His other hand grabbing onto Aaron’s as they continued to walk clear past the building all together. “So, we should talk, yeah?” he asked. Swinging both their arms as he held onto their hands and walked randomly down the back alley way.

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Roman gave Quentin a pointed look when he said he could just jump if this went poorly, and then turned to look at Aaron. Q was acting really strange, and he had absolutely no idea where he was doing with this. What could he have to say to them that might go poorly? Was he going to ask them to back off? Had everything gotten to be too much? Roman was always worrying over everything, expecting the worst, so when Quentin said the famous words of ‘we need to talk’ his heart dropped in his chest. “Quentin, what’s wrong?” He asked in counter to the other male’s suggestion, just wanting him to get out with it already.

Aaron.

Aaron faced twisted slightly at the off putting joke, mostly because he just didn't know how to react to something like that. And because things were so tense between the three already. He glanced at Roman for a brief moment, face twisting even more when he noticed how off put the actor was as well. Nonetheless, he squeezed onto Quentin's hand tightly and let him lead the pair up the fire escape and onto the roof. Aaron was not the same as Roman; he wanted to wait as long as possible for bad news. So he stalled. "So who brewed that coffee this morning? It was amazing." He said quietly, swallowing hard after he spoke. Maybe that wasn't the bed idea because clearly Roman wanted to get on with this.

Quentin.

once they were on the roof Quentin found a place where he could sit down. Letting go of both of their hands and just looking out over the city. “I don’t know, I wasn’t working” he replied a bit mindlessly. Clutching his man purse in his hands as he avoided eye contact at all cost. Of course if he looked at either of them for too long, his whole facade would probably break. “Soo..  you wanted to talk? The three of us. You should talk” he insisted.

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Roman gave Aaron the side eye when he tried to curb the conversation to the coffee this morning, as if any of them cared about that right now. He hated playing this game, beating around the bush when they both knew he was impatient as fuck. “Quentin. Seriously?” He asked when the other male tried to turn it back on them, like he wasn’t the one who had mentioned wanting to talk. The taller male crossed his arms, and cocked a hip, looking way sassier than he probably even meant to. That was just the way he was. “Q, what’s up?”

Aaron

Aaron put a slight physical distance between himself and the other men, leaning against the high wall that was the only thing between him and death by falling however many stories down. Aaron looked down at his feet and shook his head. "No...Ro." He began, taking a deep breathe and deciding to man up. "He's right. I did suggest we all talk when..." He took another very long, deep breathe. "...when he suggested to me that all three of us...like...date - be in a relationship. I just wanted to wait until we were all back in the city so that we could all properly talk about it, and how we all felt about it. I think that's why Quentin's acting the way he is now." He said, taking control of the conversation like he would in any board room. Except...this wasn't a board room. The board room was a place in which he was comfortable. Where he thrived. This was completely new territory for him.

Quentin

Quentin’s eyes shifted between Roman and Aaron and then he looked back across the city for a moment. “No, stop. This is my doing. I can do this” he said. Standing up and walking over to the edge of the room beside the businessman. He had no clue what he was going to say. But he knew he loved them both, and if it wasn’t for him, they wouldn’t be in this situation right now. “I...” he started before turning around to face them both again. “I love you both. I wanna be with you both. It’s like.. impossible for me to choose between you two. I can’t do it” he confessed. Everything was so perfect between him and Roman. Mind blowing even. While other things were just as intense and breathtaking with Aaron. There was no easy way out of his feelings for either of them. So it was time to see if they felt the same way. “So um...” he sort of mumbled as he unzipped his bag. “I want to cuff you both. I want you both to be my boyfriends... and the rest is up to you two.” He turned to face Aaron and snapped a handcuff around his wrist before walking over and doing the same to Roman. Taking a seat back in his initial spot and closing his eyes. His heart racing a mile a minute as he held his breath and waited to see if they would cuff him back.

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Roman watched Quentin as he came out of his shell, and said what he wanted to say. The truth was that he had strong feelings for both men as well, and understood how Q felt. It didn’t feel right to have to choose, even if this was something unconventional. Not everyone was going to understand what they had here, which was kind of a little scary, but at the same time, he was too comfortable to care. As long as he had Quentin and Aaron, everything would be okay. Right? Ro was a little surprised when Q decided to use literal handcuffs, but he barely even hesitated before he stepped forward, and cuffed himself to the other male, standing over him with a small smirk as he waited for him to open his eyes, and for what Aaron would do.

Aaron

Aaron shut up quickly when Quentin told him he would take over. Honestly he was kind of proud of the younger man for doing so. He knew this was w coming but like Roman, Aaron was surprised that Quentin was using actual handcuffs to ask them out. Kinky. The businessman quickly got his head out of the gutter and took a deep breath in. He watching and Roman didn’t hesitate to walk over to Quentin and cuff him immediately. Aaron had thought a lot about this and had even asked a couple of friends for advice. His only real hesitation was what Alison would think, whom he hadn’t bothered to tell that his love life was heading in this direction. He was certainly about how he felt about Roman and Quentin. And he was certain that something would be missing in all of their lives if they had to choose. He looked down at the handcuff that was dangling from his wrist then he looked back up at Quentin and Roman. “Okay.” He said to himself before he walked up to the two men and literally cuffed them.

Quentin.

There was a million and one reasons why this was never gonna work, but Q had given up. He couldn’t fight against it anymore, and hell, if everything ended up crashing down. At least he would have the satisfaction of bringing Aaron and Roman together.  He wanted them both to be happy more than anything in the world. Of course he had his insecurities about all of those, but his heart nearly stopped when he felt Roman cuff him back. The hesitation from Aaron definitely not going unnoticed, but when he finally joined, Q opened his eyes. He had this battle inside his head for a week or two now and it was all finally coming to a head. They were going to be together, all of them. Which meant Q had to take the biggest step of all now. He put his trust issues aside and he grabbed both his boyfriends free hands and linked them together. “Okay, someone else take over now” he chuckled. His fingers on their cuffed hands now lacing together as his cheeks shaded pink.

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Roman squeezed both Quentin’s, and Aaron’s hands when all of them were joined together, and then moved over to lean his forehead against Q’s. He knew this had been a big step for him, and honestly, it was a huge step for all of them. Roman and Aaron both had insecurities as well, reasons why they would be scared of a relationship, but the feelings they shared for each other was too much to ignore. Roman was in love with both of these men, and vice versa, so why should they try and push that aside for the satisfaction of others? “As much as I’d love to continue with the handcuffs, I’m starving. Why don’t we have Aaron take us out to celebrate? I wanna get drunk.” Ro giggled, and pulled back to look back and forth between the other two males. “Also...why has no one kissed me yet???”

Aaron.

Aaron watched as Q joined his and Roman's hands together, then is blue eyes gazed up at the tallest of the three. He glanced back at Quentin, who looked much more relaxed than he was earlier. Aaron was happy. Like actually really happy with these arrangement. There was no competition, no choices that need to be made... Aaron got Roman and Quentin which was exactly what he'd wanted. At Roman's request, he leaned over to place a loving kiss on Roman's lips...sinking into him for the a brief moment before turning to Quentin and doing the same thing, his hand still laced with Roman's. "Yeah, let me take my men out for a celebratory dinner. We can do dinner and get blasted anywhere you guys want." These two men were about to get everything and anything they wanted anyway.

Quentin.

Hearing Roman ask for a kiss literally made his heart drop. His eyes immediately shooting over to the taller as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. He was scared of this, and when he saw Aaron move in his head instinctively turned away. Okay, breathe Quentin he said to himself before forcing his head to turn back. His lips crashing straight into Aaron’s when he did. “Uhh...” he chuckled for a moment when Aaron pulled away feeling hella giddy all of a sudden. That was no even half as bad as he thought it was going to be. “Yes food... and drinks” he nodded. His smile stretching across his face as he looked over to Roman. “Just one issue here” he smirked. “Think you can guess what it is?”

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

It didn’t go unnoticed that Quentin looked away when Aaron kissed him, and now he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Was this not okay? He tried to push down the feeling though when Q’s mood them seemed to flip, asking him what he thought the issue here was. “Well first, I still need a kiss from you.” He held up a finger, and then grabbed the other male by the collar to pull him in for his own heated kiss. “Also, we may need to take these cuffs off...” he looked down at their hands, and then let out the dumbest sounding chuckle. “I mean, unless you wanna walk around like this all night.” He lifted up the wrist connected with Quentin’s.

Aaron.

It was going to take a minute to get used to this polygamy thing. It was certainly something Aaron wasn’t used to and he knew the other two men weren’t used to it either. Now he could spoiled not one but two people? Come home to two people. Complain to two people when he needed to. He was never going to be alone now. He smiled slightly when the other men kissed because those were his men. YEAH. “Yeah Q, please tell me you brought the keys.” He chuckled. “Although we should definitely keep these for like...later.” He alluded with a playful smirk.

Quentin.

This all was gonna take a bit of getting used to. But Quentin honestly never felt so loved, and not only from one man, but two. His hand immediately going to grip the back of Roman’s head as he kissed him. Bringing the businessman’s hand right along with it. Another soft chuckle falling from his lips when he pulled away because... oops. “Yeah, about that” he internally cringed. “I think I left the keys in my car.” Of course he wouldn’t think this all the way through, but he was the baby after all. “Think we can get back down the fire escape like this?” His eyes scanned their wrists, which luckily Aaron and Roman both still had a free hand. But he was distracted from any escape tactic when Aaron mentioned keeping the cuffs for later. “Oh..” he grinned looking back up at the businessman before standing up. “You wanna get kinky, baby?” he asked. Leaning in closer to Aaron and wrapping his arms around his neck. This time bringing Roman’s arm with him as he crashed his lips back into Aaron’s.January 9, 2021

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

Roman let himself be dragged over to Aaron, forcing a spot in this makeout session somewhat awkwardly, though roman really just ended up staring. It made him feel a little dirty, but hey, these were his men. He could stare if he wanted to, right? “Alright, guess we’re staying cuffed until we get down to the car.” Roman point out the obvious, and tugged on the connected cuff with Q in order to coax him to follow back down the stairs. “I hope you have these damn keys.” Roman teased on their way down.

Aaron.

Of course he'd left the keys in the fucking car. He maybe thought that Q did that on purpose just to kind of mess with them. But whatever. it'd be one of their first adventures together and honestly Aaron couldn't be bothered in the slightest. The businessman barely had to time to speak before Quentin was kissing him again. He clutched onto Roman while they kissed, then moved to lead his men down the fire escape. "We should get wine...No! We should get tequila drunk during dinner." He suggested. Aaron just wanted to celebrate...he was happy with this. With them. he quickly found Q's car and turned to him. "Alright, get us out but we're definitely keeping these for a later date." He chuckled.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰

You know, this was definitely something Quentin would have done on purpose just for shits and giggles. But, sadly that wasn’t the case. He was just so damn nervous he didn’t think to even grab the key. It was okay though. They could stay cuffed together forever for all he cared. Just having their arms locked together like this gave him such a sense of relief. He finally had them both and there was no more pressure to choose. He was happy. So happy in fact, he must have been floating on cloud nine. Because before he knew it, they were standing outside his locked Tesla. “Uhm... I think my car keys are in there too” he cringed. “Please don’t kill me” he laughed.

[a19yearoldtryinherbest]

A Few Drinks. [Officer Slater]

Masterlist

Prompt: There's a neighbor who would love to have a few drinks

Warning: Swearing, NSFW.

A/N: It's NSFW but like fluffy and with feels. Or at least I tried to be that, a bit.

@starlordxthor

Anyway I'm sorry I tried really hard to do a self insert but it just doesn't work for me. It gets me off my game, make me constantly think "Oh, someone might not do that". It just doesn't work for me. So... I did the story but with a character.

If any of you want I can do a sort of self insert if you give me a (your) name and some characteristics and/or personally traits I can try to make it justice. Also if any of you want a male or nonbinary love interest, a just friends story, a two dumbasses in lover who don't realize they are in love so there's a lot of pining, or whatever I'm down with that. I just can't really write self insert.

Also the name I gave him is just a headcanon I read somewhere and it stuck with me. Also, it's technically Wednesday and I said I would upload on Monday... sorry about that. I just have a lot of shit currently hitting the fan right now.

Word count: 2560

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Almost every morning, by the time Emily had to leave for work, she bumped her neighbor, Officer Slater, who was just coming back from patrol; supposedly that was all she knew about him but she had picked up upon a few things after living across the hall from him for over three months; he lived alone, usually came back from his late Friday shifts drunk, tended to have his redheaded friend on the afternoons to watch some game and ended up listening to music a bit too loud even for the afternoon. She also knew he was a bit shy, since she had smiled at him on the elevator, thanking him for keeping the door open and he just blushed and mumbled a small "it's nothing" while looking at the floor, that was the second week she was leaving there and the first time she saw him and thought he was incredibly cute.

However, that Saturday, he wasn't drunk. She tried not to look to puzzled about it and, as always, she said — Good morning.

He turned around with a soft smile — Uh, Hi. G-good morning. — he stumbled on his words, being slightly caught off guard even if she greeted him every morning.

She smiled back — No drinking tonight? — she flinched as she said it — Sorry! — she backtracked, feeling awkward and idiotic for saying it — I didn't mean anything by it. — She pressed her eyelids hard and scrambled her thoughts before shaking her head and deciding to leave the conversation — Sorry, I- I better leave. I-

— It's ok. — he said just as she was preparing to practically run towards the elevator — Yeah, there was no drinking, my- — he hesitated — my partner got relocated yesterday and the new one was extremely opposed to the idea of a few drinks. — he gave her a half smile with a soft shrug shoulders — Some people... I don't know. — he said, she wasn't sure if he was joking but she found it funny and she laughed, which made him smile.

There was a beat where she just continued to smile at him and he smiled back. And it was probably the way he was looking at her that made her say — Well, I'm the kind of person who enjoys a few drinks. Just so you know. — he laughed shortly at the floor, completely caught off guard by her not so subtle comment.

He nodded and shifted his weight before looking at her gathering all of his confidence to say — Well, if you really enjoy a few drinks I can invite you for some day.

She smiled, trying to hide her excitement — Sure. — she nodded and took a step forward — Do you have a cellphone?

He opened his eye a bit more as he thought about what she had said and quickly understood what she meant. He went for his phone, almost desperately, looking for in the pockets his trousers until he found his flip phone in the back pocket and held it in between them, offering her to grab it. She smiled and took it, getting the lid off the keyboard and typing in a few things. She closed it and gave him a sweet smile as she gave it back, the tip of her fingers softly caressing his palm, leaving him in a short dreamlike haze full of soft, pink clouds and golden strikes of the sunlight.

— I have to go to work now, so... — he snapped out of his trance and nodded, embarrassed by the idea that he was staring at her way too long.

— Oh, Right. — he said, softly lowering his gaze to the floor but looking back up a second later when she spoke.

— Right. — she smiled — I'll see you around, then. — he watched her go and looked down to see his phone, seeing her name and her phone number on his contacts. Michaels wasn't going to believe it. And he didn't.

However McLovin did believe him and told him, just as Seth told him when he first got a girl's number, to wait four days before calling or, as he put it, the bitch is gonna know you're desperate. This was not true. What was true, however, was that he was going to make her wait and, according to Forgell and Seth, that was going to make her want him more. The second part wasn't necessarily true.

However, by the time Tuesday came he called her.

— Hey — he perked as he heard her pick up.

She smiled — Hey — there was a short silence where she took a few directionless steps, waiting for him to say something. But it wasn't uncomfortable, it was like a soft breath, quiet and easy.

— It's Slater — he said panicking for a second.

She laughed — Yeah I know. — and crossed her arms in front of her chest, sitting on the armchair of her couch — I never got your name. — she said in a way for him to say it.

— It's Slater. — he answered naturally, completely unbothered and oblivious.

— That's your last name.

He hesitated a little and, without realizing it, he pulled a full Forgell — Some people don't have first name.

She laughed at his idiotic response — Yes they do. Everyone does.

— Some of them don't. — he poorly defended, almost pacing between having his weight on his right leg or his left leg. The line stayed silent for a few moments except for a few steps from Emily's side. He felt more nervous — It's just ridiculous. Y'know?

— Is that why do use your last name? — she asked, closing her apartment door.

— Yeah. Basically. — he said and heard a knock on the door — Would you give me a second. Someone's at the door.

— You better not be saying that as an excuse not to tell me your name. —she teased. He went closer to the door and stopped to smile for a second.

— It's not. But I won't tell you anyway. — he said and opened the door only to find her on the other side, standing in the hallway with a sweet, teasing smile.

— So, who is it? — she joked, still talking at the phone. He let out a soft chuckle and hung up and invited her in — So can you tell me your name? — she leaned in the couch — Please?

—Ok. Just- don't make fun, alright?

— I promise

It's Sidney — he almost hid his face behind his hands but stopped when he saw her smile, almost laughing — You said you wouldn't make fun.

— I'm not! It's just- peculiar. — he looked down like if he was ashamed and she regretted her choice of words and tried to mend it with — But I love it. — he looked up at her, a bit confused — Sid. It fits you.

— Still, I don't really like it. — he muttered, and she understood what he was trying to say.

— Alright then, Satler. — he smiled a bit and she smiled back — Do you wanna drink something, then?

— Don't you have work tomorrow?

— No, unless someone dares to miss their shift, and they know better than to get me pissed off. — she smiled and he smiled back, understanding it was a joke but with truth in it — So, drinks?

— I have a few beers and a few movies from Blockbuster if you want.

She let herself fall on the couch — Yes to both.

They put the movie on the DVD player but they never pressed play, instead they started talking first about simple stuff. Likes, dislikes and general history from themselves and, as the drinks moved along, a heavier conversation of fears and dreams to, when the drinks came on a slower pace, their line of work. Emily told him all the wonders about being a nurse, from the disrespectful patients and the disgusting infections, to the angry family members and the endless hours.

— What about you? — she asked before taking a swing of her beer — I mean, you're a cop, you must have some interesting stories.

He laughed shortly and nodded — Yeah. — he thought of a funny story for a second and smiled when he remembered one, he shifted slightly to look at her — Alright, so this one night Michaels and I were patrolling and got called in for a fight outside a bar. We went there, arrested one if the guys but the other ran away and while we were taking him to the percent we got a call for- I think it was a DUI who wouldn't stop, or something. — he settled into his seat again and took a small sip of his beer — So, we get there and pull over the DUI and, while we were talking to the other officers, the guy we had arrested managed to open the door and ran away, handcuffs and everything. — Emily started laughing a bit and he smiled at her — We spent the whole night looking for him. We couldn't find him. Then we got called for another fight but in a parking lot. — he looked at her, almost doing a dramatic pause and she leaned in without realizing it, still amused but no longer laughing, trying to hear the big reveal — I shit you not, it was the same two guys from the first fight. — they both bursted into laughter.

— No way! — she laughed out.

He continued — These motherfuckers got away from being arrested and then got arrested for starting another fight in another place.

— I would say it was karma or destiny but I honestly think it was just stupidity. — he nodded with a bright smile on his face.

She looked at the screen and laughed softly, making him look — We forgot about the movie. — he smiled and looked at her.

— Wouldn't have been as interesting. — he shrugged.

Emily looked at him, almost double checking if he meant it, and he did. She could see that he did. She felt herself freeze.

A unexpected but welcomed touch on her hand that froze her and melted her at the same time.

He looked at her through his glasses and saw her blush slightly, making his ego go through the roof. This beautiful woman, this amazing person, she was blushing because of him. It was beyond his comprehension but he tried to not let it show, smiling softly in an attempt to hide his nervousness.

She looked at his lips, and then saw him looking at her own, but she knew he wouldn't do the first move so she came close to him. Their lips almost brushing before he closed the very short distance between them, feeling his heart beat faster than ever before.

He put his hand on her waist and felt her slightly shiver under his touch so he let the hand he had free start tracing upwards in her leg, almost getting under her dress. Without realizing she opened her legs to him, inviting him to touch, and he did, he stared on the outline of her underwear and her breath fell into a slow and heavy rithm.

— Fuck. — she breathed into his ear and he had to stop For a second, he felt his cock getting hard and the over-stimulation he felt was getting a bit over the edge. But his actions where met with a whine from deep within her throat — Why did you stop? — she asked, half protesting half concerned, looking into his eyes with lust and hunger.

— I think we should go to my bedroom. — she smiled at his words

— Yes. Absolutely. — she stood up and then let him guide her. He lead her to his bedroom and stood awkward for a few seconds, not sure how to continue.

She decided to take the lead again and kissed him, feeling him getting slightly weak on his knees as she took off her dress and made him take off his. She smiled as he kissed her while making her sit on the bed, making her open up her legs for him again. She felt his long finger teasing her and she started kissing his neck as a way to encourage him. He felt her getting wet so he started kissing her cleavage and sliding her panties down her legs before dropping on his knees. He licked the top of her womanhood and she moaned, quite loudly.

He smiled before leaning into her core and starting to suck on her a bit before letting his tongue do the work. She muffled a moan when he caressed her leg, the innocent touch he could give while making her reach the sky felt like the perfect combination of intensity and levity, just like her burning core and the soft wind on her back were the perfect duality of hot and cold. Which was the only way to describe Slater; dichotomy, duality, never better represented than with the way the hungry look on his eyes took it's place on his angelical face.

He kept stimulating her, watching the response to every move. If he went up she would squeal and her legs would tremble, if he went slightly to the right and introduced his fingers she would lean into the mirror and grab his hair. He played with all of her reactions making a knot in her insides which only got more tense until he helped her release herself from it, and he heard her scream his name like a prayer.

He leaned back and watched her gather herself, hearing her breathing slow down and seeing her sit straight back up. Before she could say a word he was on top of her, kissing her softly but with hunger, making her moan as he tried to take off his gears. She chuckled softly when she saw him struggle with his belt and he laughed too, stopping for a second the sexy, hot moment they were having a bit of laughs that slowly died out, making her smile — Do you need help?

— Yes. — he chuckled. She just smiled and helped him, getting rid of the belt, his pants and then his underwear. He started pressing his rock hard erection against her all ready swollen clit, teasing her, making her whine and squeal.

— Do you have a-?

— Yeah. — he stopped his sweet rhythm and looked for a condom in the drawer of his bedside table. He found it and she helped him put it on, making him let out a shaky breath out.

Emily felt him stare down her lips but this time let him take his time to kiss her, no rushing in, no taking the lead. And it was sweeter than anything she had ever felt before. And, as he kissed her, he accommodated his place, seeing her twitch a little when he leaned against her entrance. They stopped the kissed only for Emily to plead for him inside her, and he did as she pleaded. Having her moan and become and absolute mess under him. He went faster as she asked and heard her scream his name over and over. He watched her come undone one more time and so did he, both screaming and whispering eachother names between profanities.

He he fell beside her and looked at her face, his breathing slowing down by the second as she smiled at him. She chuckled, embarrassed by the way he was looking at her, making her blush — You're absolutely beautiful. — he declared. And she couldn't help but fall harder for him.

[detectivehole]

Go comic feral, i followed this blog for a rEASOn and it's bc i like to hear your random vents and rants and also you reblog cool stuff. But i digress, go comic feral i am hERE for it

fine

PETER PARKER BEING RICH IS STUPID  he didnt even ern what he has himself it was nt even himn he wasnt in his body maybe if i had got to see him start fron nothing to being a cool ceo or whatever id be able to stand it but nooooooo he just GOT is for nothing so it feels stupid like “ha ha what if like tony stark haha” its DUMB and i haven’t read a spider man comic for a long time

deadpool/spiderman crossover comic bad. feels out of character a lot. funny concept and full of funny jokes but as far as characterization its bad in my opinion- was made to capitalize off the hype of the ship and we all know it

don cates should be banned from writing comics bc he fucking sucks and ill never forgive him for what he did/tried to do to venom

deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good deadpool good dea

the venom movie was a lot of fun but it was very ooc a lot HOWEVER seeing some of the cut scenes and scripts you can see that it used to be actually fairly in character for the comics but a lot of scenes with eddie establishing himself as not actually the most nicest of guys (not that eddie isnt a nice guy deep down but he is a good amount fucked up with a big ol hero complex and a problem with ‘i can do no wrong” mentality sometimes) were cut and considering how the fandom for the movie treats him i can see why the cut those bits out bc i dont think movie goers would have liked him as much wich is a shame bc he is a good guy at the end of the day just fucked up

straight white male comic fans are the worst people in the world and breaking their fingers is a daydream i indulge in 

matt murdock is a himbo

foggy nelson is a good man who deserves better friends

i can tell what deadpool comics someone has read based on how they characterize wade in their fan works and i have a 80% success rate with it. the most common was the daniel way run but now its the spider-man/deadpool crossover series

soulda used miles for the mcu spidey instead of cannibalizing his story for parts like they did. dick move, Disney

mcu bad

i think just the idea of dc’s Red Tool is fucking hilarious but i dont like his character at all

batman and superman should fuck but they wont :/

matt and foggy should to but the comic industry is afraid of making long running characters lgbt bc theyre WEAK

deadpool need a canon bf they cant keep telling us hes pan and not showing us for reals- hell he could just go on one date or be shown having a one night stand or something- something beyond a damn joke

cable gay. no i will not listen to any other opinions.

im excited to read moon knight i have a book waiting i just have to finish my current one

SCUD the disposable assassin is the most underrated comic EVER and i LOVE IT however i think it ended stupid and bad however it went on fucking hiatus for like a decade and then was rapped up really fast so any ending is a godsend

i desperately want a long-form stand alone series abt wanda wilson bc shes the perfect foil for a good Feral Dumbass Woman comic. think abt it; shell sell immediately bc of recognizable brand, and then she can just go on violent stupid adventures without any of the other dp corps. it doenst have to line up with any canon i just want insane lady dp adventure comic. this is an unreasonable dream but mine none the less

i though that agent venom was stupid

tank girl is fucking amazing and i love it i never understand whats going on and i enjoy the confusion

reading early hulk comics feels like watching a weird, poorly produced old black and white sci-fi soap

there needs to be better, more easily accessed, official reading-order guides published and posted on the walls of comic shops everywhere

the 80s and 90s were the best time for marvel comics and no one can tell me otherwise. that was peak comic time

the worst time for comics was the 2000s and early 2010s

sometimes i am shocked by the art that gets the editors pass in comics. some of it is so bad and im not even talking about the disproportionate ladies

the lego marvel and dc movies are way better than the live action movies and im not even being sarcastic

seriously the 2000s made some horrible comics

i feel like committing acts of mass violence every time someone says comics arnt real reading/stories/implies theyre worth less of any value than a novel

i read the first deadpool comic i got so much that the art itself is so ingrained in my mind that people have shown my just the corners of panels and ive identified them correctly

i distinctly remember the first time the woman at the book store stopped asking me for parental permission to buy the comics i was getting (12yos) because i went there so often that she just remembered who i was and that the adult would say its fine

i refuse to talk about comics with people at cons because i am gatekept or flirted with every single time no matter what and there is no in between. and yea its because i have tits. youd think that eventually theyd learn but gross comic men never do and all the others have adopted the same policy as me so the closest i come to positive comic interaction at cons is standing in the same vicinity as another chick, looking at the same section, and the kinda smiling at each other

i think the avengers are boring. really really boring. the x-men are way better

i related to gwenpool too much when she first started and it scared/offended me so i stopped reading for a while until her character developed more and we stooped being so similar

i have spider-man bedding. i picked it out only a few months ago. its good it makes me feel cool in a very uncool way

watching spider-man as a kid made me wanna be a scientist. watching batman as a kid made me want to do martial arts. i ended up failing chemistry and falling on my face a lot instead.

i had a huge venom toy and a huge spiderman toy as a kid and while i did make them fight a lot i also made them hug just as much. i wanted them to be friends

on that note PETER IS MEAN TO THE SYMBIOTE NOW AND HE DONT EVEN HAVE A REASON NO MORE hes just such a dick about criminal reform eddie and the symbiote aint special with this- he says he believes people can be better but he really doesnt show it. he tends to think people are set in their ways and while this makes sense forthe most part considering how much hewas bullied as a kid/adult (that also contributes to his mild “i protect my own” mentality  tho at least he consciously fights that one) it stil pisses me off

i can think way more but i need to sleep i think

[ramajmedia]

Family Guy: 10 Of Quagmire’s Most Inappropriate Pickup Lines

Glenn Quagmire is one of the most inappropriate characters ever in adult cartoons. For a character in Family Guy, that's saying something. It's a show where everyone's offensive, politically, incorrect, sexist, racist, and everything else that best describes the YouTube comment section.

Quagmire is... imagine Big Bang Theory's Howard Wolowitz but creepier and more prone to sexually assaulting anything that looks remotely female. As such, his usual banter with the opposite sex ranges from questionably hilarious to downright sicko humor. Here are 10 of those pickup lines to prove the point.

RELATED: 10 Ways Family Guy Has Changed Since Season 1

Quagmire is spearing gold-digger culture a bit here, but it's a lot funnier in cartoons than it is in real-life situations. So a word of warning: never try this one in dating sites, unless you want to go viral in the worst way. Obviously, you don't want to go around saying this to people in real-life, unless you want a swollen hot red cheek.

It's usually Quagmire's go-to for picking up faceless random women in cartoons. In Quagmire's case, it's surprising that even works half the time.

Quagmire's got two ways of going about pick-up lines: blunt and clever, and this one sort-of falls somewhere in the middle. It's immediately obvious what he's getting at, but there's also some clever wordplay going on there.

What's worrying is thinking of whatever goes on in Quagmire's bed. Family Guy has given us many hints and peeks before and they are gritty. Quagmire's room and bed has seen its share of human trafficking, torture, and unwanted pregnancies. Coming from him, it sounds like a psycho-killer's line.

RELATED: The 10 Worst Family Guy Episodes Ever According To IMDb

8 "BEAUTY IS ONLY A LIGHT SWITCH AWAY."

Have you ever wanted to see how fast a person can splash their drink on you after saying a pickup line? This one's got you covered. Of course, that's assuming how buzzed they are; higher sobriety means more chances of them taking it the wrong way. Oh wait, it is a wrong pickup line in all respects.

For one, Quagmire is basically implying that the person whom he says that to only looks good and tolerable in sex when the lights are off.

7 "I THINK I COULD FALL MADLY IN BED WITH YOU."

Oh boy, the number of underlying connotations and issues we could discuss with this pickup line. Somehow, Family Guy made Quagmire a satirical representation of sex addicts who pass off sex for love. Granted, this pickup line isn't exactly that appalling compared to the others; it can work if you're into casual sex, like Quagmire.

Still, it's best said after a round of alcohol to soften the blow and the recipient's rationality. You don't want to say this to someone who's serious about dating. Quagmire, on the other hand, didn't think twice about uttering this outrageous pick-up line.

RELATED: Family Guy: 10 Funniest Star Wars Gags, Ranked

6 "PARDON ME, ARE YOU A SCREAMER OR A MOANER."

Next up is a quick primer on how to make your conversation partner uncomfortable. You see, when Quagmire usually lets these words rip, the show abruptly follows it with a cut to the next scene or joke. That's for good reason since any woman who Quagmire says this to will usually walk away or slap him, or both.

Also, one might wonder what Quagmire does to a woman to make her scream-- no, we don't have just pleasure in mind, it's probably something more sinister? In any case, it's a one-way ticket to creep-topia for anyone who uses this as a pickup line among regular people.

5 "DID YOU KNOW THE WORD OF THE DAY IS 'LEG.' WHY DON'T WE GO BACK TO MY PLACE AND SPREAD THE WORD?"

Well, that's one way to stupefy the person you're hitting on. It's quite possibly the most clever way of saying to someone that you want to open their legs, which isn't too sinister if you're a gynecologist. As usual, context changes if the person saying it is a sexually addicted male in a bar, in this case, Quagmire again.

It's certainly not the most amusing toilet humor in Family Guy but it's Quagmire's finest pickup line to date. Any other version of "I'd like to open your legs" would've been met with a 911 call or a trip to the pavement outside the establishment.

RELATED: Family Guy: 10 Funniest Running Gags, Ranked

4 "SO YOU LADIES EVER BEEN PENETRATED?"

Way to be blunt. Given how creative Quagmire can get with his pickup lines sometimes, this one's a bit of an outlier. It's even less entertaining than "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity, let's have sex". It's a more graphic version of "are you still a virgin" but this one makes for an off-putting truth or dare question.

3 "HEY THERE, I DON'T WANNA COME BETWEEN YOU... OR DO I?"

We're not sure if "inappropriately smooth" is even a thing but you never know with Glenn Quagmire. These words were uttered (again with pure maniac confidence) with two random party girls in mind. Quagmire literally places himself between them while they were talking then casually says this perfect multiple-interpretation line.

Again, it's one of the smoother ways to say that he wanted to bed either of them without any other implied ideas. Other than that, it may or may not be a good ice breaker for when you want to approach two girls at a party and introduce yourself... assuming you've no malicious plans with them, you.

RELATED: Family Guy: 10 Storylines That Have Aged Poorly

2 "OH! SORRY, I THOUGHT THAT WAS A BRAILLE NAME TAG."

Goodness, gracious. We don't know what's more awful, pretending to be a blind person or pretending to accidentally grope someone. There are other versions of this joke of a pickup line, but it mostly involves mimicking other disabilities like crutches or other even injuries.

Other than Quagmire, the only other person who would stoop so low just to get laid would be Brian Griffin. We're sure you're aware why this would be so wrong on so many levels to use in real-life other than the fact that you'd have to pretend to be blind.

1 "WANNA HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX?"

Ladies and gentlemen, Glenn Quagmire, promoting the spread of STDs and unwanted pregnancies ever since he could say "giggity goo." Not even five minutes after Quagmire enters an elementary school, he immediately propositions one of the school teachers to have raw coitus with him. What's even worse is the scene before that.

Quagmire actually finds out that he has several illegitimate children in the said school due to his promiscuity. Even so, he proceeds to make the same mistake again. As for you dear reader, this is a banned pickup line and would only work if you're married and want to start a family. If you can't find what's inappropriate with this, then stop reading articles about yourself, Quagmire.

NEXT: Family Guy: The 10 Most Annoying Characters, Ranked

source https://screenrant.com/family-guy-10-quagmires-inappropriate-pickup-lines/