#I also think that this is most likely a high school

[merelygifted]

Most of the above what follows the "You don't hate kids" part is very true for me. However...

I dislike a lot of kids I meet, and disliked a lot of kids when I was one myself. So many kids are cruel, thoughtless, rude, merciless, lacking manners, and generally unpleasant.

The kids who bullied me, esp the poor things who could barely read in 3rd grade, all told me I was stupid.

I'd been reading the editorials in the newspaper since I was 4. Had they found out about that, it would have just been another thing that made me weird and stupid.

Being stuck into a classroom with more than 30 kids the first day of 1st grade at a new school was a shock. They were all yelling. It was chaos. I looked around and thought, "How on Earth can I be expected to learn in an environment like this, surrounded by children?!"

Turned out it didn't work at all well for me. What a surprise.

99% of the awful kids at that elementary school were at least as bad when I ran into them again as a teenager at the public high school. I'd been at a different school for 3 years, while they'd honed their nastiness, entrenched themselves in misogyny and bigotry, and grown bigger. The awful ones I'd never met before was also a major bonus.

My dislike of children is one of the myriad reasons I never had any.

Parents, please raise your kids to think about other people. Help them learn that everyone has a different viewpoint, feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Please do your best to raise caring, empathic children, instead of narcissistic, selfish ones. Teach them that bullying is wrong, and only rare situations call for being nasty.

you don't "hate kids," you hate being forced into a caretaking role.

you don't "hate kids," you hate censorship passed off as family values.

you don't "hate kids," you hate the constrictiveness of the nuclear family.

you don't "hate kids," you're just not used to occupying fully age diverse spaces so you're not used to the noise or the many different kinds of needs.

you don't "hate kids," most public spaces just aren't built for kids, and so the few kids you see are always uncomfortable and distressed.

you don't "hate kids," you hate the intense social rules assigned to kids and anyone who interacts with kids.

You don't "hate kids," you hate how society reproduces its most restrictive elements and how kids are powerless to resist it.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Gen x seems to like Tonald Drump a lot. My parents were on the older end of gen x. First generation projected to make less than their parents. And they did. They did make less than their parents.

My parents ended up being progressives but I do think they had to learn how to be nicer to people. If that makes sense.

Thing is you really did used to be able to just say horrible things sometimes. Gen x I think understandably became kind of cynical about life given that they were the at the start of a downward spiral that they got to see play out in front of them. Most of them also went to high school or college during the 80s when conservatism and the war on drugs really amped up. It’s normal to look down on people during some of your most formative years. Being conservative is in. You feel cynical. It’s normal to say the r slur.

Humans as a whole are also kinda resistant to change and things they don’t understand and gen x now is kinda at the perfect age to go through their midlife crisis. You know, start trying to be cool again by the standards they learned as teens and young adults.

If you’re a moderate to conservative Gen x man who doesn’t pay attention to politics or really know why he’s not allowed to say slurs anymore and you can still see around you that life is worse for you than it is for your parents, Drump says hey man I can fix all your problems and you can say slurs again.

So obviously if you’re that guy you’re gonna be like sure why not I miss being mean and cynical I’m cool and I want grocery prices to go down and then you click Tonald Drump on the voting machine and go back to your job doing accounting for a branch of the federal government that you don’t know that the Elon Husk is going to smash with a hammer in three months.

[mirai-e-jump]

Dengeki Tokusatsu Tsushin Vol.3 (Summer/2000) FACE UP!! 2000 SPECIAL ft. Odagiri Joe x Katsurayama Shingo (translations below)

Publication: August 20, 2000

FACE UP!! (Free Talk Segments)

Odagiri Joe

I've loved movies ever since I was a child, and never thought about doing work outside of the film industry. When I became a high school student, I had other things I wanted to do, but they were all related to foreign countries. Something like a translator, or a Japanese language teacher in a foreign country. Still, at my core, I wanted to study something in relation to film. So, I looked into various schools, and found that the California State University in Fresno made the most sense to me. In my head, I had the idea that movies were made in Hollywood, so along with there being few Japanese people there, this place would be close to Hollywood. When I was deciding on my major, "Drama" caught my eye. What came to mind from Drama was "TV dramas," so I decided to "go with that." However, it turned out to be a major related to theater (laughs).

While studying abroad, my first exposure to acting was when I helped out behind the scenes for their quarterly theater performance. I also took an acting class, but it wasn't until I returned to Japan that I began to seriously study acting. When I was over there, I was essentially a blank slate, so it felt like I didn't know what was going on (laughs).

During one of my acting classes, we were told, "This is outer space, so swim freely." We spacewalked the whole lesson (laughs). I thought it was a truly American styled class. At the time, I was full of wonder, as I was curious on how this would relate to acting. I was the only foreigner in my class. I wasn't the type to go out of my way to join in with the others, and was always the "straggler" of the class (laughs). Having the English skills of an exchange student, performing Shakespeare, a classic of Western literature, was a challenge in itself, and there were times when I was considerably depressed. Still, in the end, all those hardships became my passion for acting, and the experience I gained over there was an invaluable asset.

I played drums in a band during middle and high school. There were times when I played in about eight bands at once. Because of that, the music I covered was all over the place. It'd be anything from X to The Beatles (laughs). When I was in America, alternative music was popular, so I'd listen to groups like Smashing Pumpkins, Beck, Cake, and Bjork. If I had to pick one of my favorite musicians, it would be Tom Waits. Still, I also listen to Japanese music. The first album I ever bought was by The Timers. That's why I still like Imawano Kiyoshiro-san. I even covered his music in one of my bands. I also like Frank Zappa, Stan Getz, The Lounge Lizards, The Velvet Underground, James Brown, among others, so I listen to a really wide range of music. It depends on how my mood is on a given day. It probably seems like I have a large number of CDs when I say this, but I don't have that many. Although, I've never counted. On average, I think I buy about four a month. When I return home, I put on music or play a movie tape. I always feel that there's some kind of noise in the room. However, only when I'm writing for "Monthly Odagiri" is it quiet (laughs).

Karaoke? I go. In terms of the type of vocals I have, I'm close to Original Love. I've also sung songs by Oasis and Michelle Gun Elephant, as they put importance on excitement. I'll also sing songs by UA, Bird, and Sheena Ringo too. I prefer songs by women that are cool when sung by men. For women, I want to sing songs by Pizzicato Five and CHARA when I’m in a good mood (laughs).

What am I into currently? Food crawling (laughs). I eat alot. I always eat two bentos when we're on location. My favorite food is noodles. Ah, I'll never forget the Vietnamese ramen I used to eat when I was in America, I'm pretty sure it was called "pho." I've never found it in Japan. It has certain herbs in it, so you'll either like it or you won't, but I was addicted to it. I don't dislike anything. Even if it's weird looking, I'll probably eat it out of curiosity (laughs).

Since I'm usually busy, I try to meet up with friends on my days off. The other day, I walked home from Shinjuku with a friend who lives in Daitabashi. It took about three hours. I actually like walking (laughs). This is why I haven't seen any movies from over here in awhile. When I was working part time at a rental store, I used to watch tons of movies for free (laughs). My favorite movie is Jim Jarmusch's "Down by Law." I like alot of Jarmusch's films. "Stranger Than Paradise" and "Dead Man"…I especially like those with black and white footage. Another recent favorite is "Buffalo 66." My American friend sent me the tape and I watched it multiple times. I think films that put importance on the atmosphere and the mood, as well as the idea, are more interesting than films that spend an excessive amount of money on production. I also watch Japanese films. I thought "Sonatine" was good. It's somewhat of an obscure film among Kitano Takeshi-san's works though. As for actors, I really love Steve Buscemi, who appeared in the film "In the Soup." I want to become an actor like him, someone who can create their own role and have free rein on the sidelines.

Katsurayama Shingo

In fan letters and on the bulletin board of my website, I'm often told, "I thought you were married." I don't think even I've settled down yet. Even my room is messy. That's why I clean and do laundry on my days off. The day before a holiday, I'll go out for a drink, and do two loads of laundry in the afternoon (laughs). I'm not a strong drinker. I'm the type where it shows on my face right away. I also like karaoke. When I've had a long day at work, I'll go to karaoke and sing to refresh myself. If I have the next day off, I sometimes sing until morning.

I'll sing anything, but I like Ozaki Yutaka-san. I think my vocals fit his songs fairly well. I like ballads that I can sing with ease~. For Ozaki-san, it would be his song "forget me not." It's not just singing, as I've been listening to Ozaki-san since I was in middle school. I'm pretty sure the first album I bought was his "SEVENTEEN'S MAP." I was in shock when he passed away. I had met him once before. We met backstage at a concert, where he told me, "Next year, I'm going on tour and releasing an album, so come see me," but then he passed away around the beginning of that year.

I used to sing not only ballads, but also up tempo songs where I'd go wild, but as you can see, I've settled down now, I think (laughs). I suppose this is simply an age related change. Recently, I've felt these kinds of changes in alot of places. It's the same with my food preferences. I used to be very picky with what I liked and disliked. It was almost as if I ate nothing but meat and rice. But now, I'll often eat simple fish dishes. I used to be a vegetable hater, but I'm slowly getting better at eating them. However, eating tomatoes is still a no go (laughs). My favorite food is white rice. Even when eating out, the restaurant has to be one that serves rice. When I find an izakaya that serves rice, I'm like, "Uwah! I've found it!" From there, I'll stick to that place for awhile.

I like cars, so I'll often go out in one. As you can imagine, I've been too busy to go out these days. Ah, but during this year's Golden Week, I had some time off, so I had a barbecue at a riverbed near my parents house. What's more, going back to my parents house may have been just the right drive I needed (laughs).

When I first moved to Tokyo, I thought about trying a highway that I'd never been on before, so I once raced across the Kanetsu Expressway during winter. I ended up at a ski resort in Yuzawa. However, since I went there in my casual clothes, I just said, "What a gorgeous view," and then went back home (laughs).

To be honest, I tend to go on random trips without reserving a stay at an inn or hotel. One time, I was driving alone and gradually felt like taking a bath. I arrived at a public bathhouse, and after taking a bath, I laid down in the tatami room used for breaks since there were no other customers there. When I woke up, I saw a girl in a short skirt walking past me and thought, "What a nice view." After a moment, I took a closer look around and saw that it was packed with customers (laughs). I was surprised and thought, "I really fell asleep in a place like this, huh?"

There are still many parts of me that are perceived for my visuals, rather than as an actor. If I don't surpass that, I won't be able to move forward as an actor, and the viewers will get bored with me too. That's why I'm very interested in taking on different roles from the one I'm playing right now. I'd like to be able to mix my own playful side with the role I present in my performance so that the human qualities of an actor can come pouring out.

For that reason, work is important, but on the other hand, I think it's also important to have fun and connect with a variety of people. From now on, I'd personally like to continue having fun with friends around my age, like companions. While I have alot of memories from my school years, once you enter the workforce, your friends go their separate ways and you get together less often. Until now, I've often jumped into the lives of people older than me, so at this point, I think I'd like to value interesting friends of the same age. Besides, when you're the same age, you can't compromise. In spite of that, it makes me feel like, "I can't lose," but in a good way. Not just for acting, but also for what I want to do, and how far I'll pursue it. I'm the spoiled type, so I'd like to receive more stimulation like that. Being with good friends is the most fun, don't you think? _

Odagiri Joe VS Katsurayama Shingo

Odagiri: The first time I saw Katsurayama-san, I thought, "Ah, he's gotta be an actor." He's got a good looking face and figure.

Katsurayama: You've done nothing but compliment me as of late (laughs).

Odagiri: I really have.

Katsurayama: My first impression of Odagiri-kun is pretty much the same as it is now. I guess you could say that he acts as his regular self. When I enter a new set, I tend to become nervous and it shows. Odagiri-kun may be nervous, but I can't really see it at all.

Odagiri: I just do things at my own pace (laughs).

Katsurayama: I also thought that during the script reading. When I heard your first line, I thought it was so natural.

Odagiri: What line was that?

Katsurayama: I'm pretty sure it was when you were taking care of the lost child at the airport in the first episode.

Odagiri: That was the first one, wasn't it? When I talked with Katsurayama-san during the reading, I thought he was a serious and hardworking person. As for me, Kuuga was the first time in my life that I read a script, so I was already overwhelmed.

Katsurayama: I was at my limit too (laughs). Going to a new set for the first time makes me nervous. Also, before I met Odagiri-kun, I had heard that for this Kamen Rider, they were looking for an actor who would play the main role differently from the past, and who would be more like an ordinary big brother than a hero of justice, so I wondered what kind of guy they would get. When I actually met him, I thought, "Ah, I see."

Odagiri: Is that right? Katsurayama-san knows stuff that I don't.

Katsurayama: Even after it was decided that I got the role of Ichijou, I went to the audition for the role of Yusuke.

Odagiri: Does that mean you were looking at the audition through the eyes of Ichijou?

Katsurayama: I…suppose so. I tried to match my lines with the people who came to play Yusuke.

Odagiri: I played the role of Ichijou at my audition. I also played Kameyama. I think they specifically had me do the scene where Ichijou and Yusuke meet for the first time. I did my best to talk at the audition. I'm the kind of person who'll sometimes do crazy things at auditions (laughs).

Katsurayama: I'm the type that can't do anything at an audition and goes home (laughs).

Odagiri: When I went to the auditions, we just rehearsed some scenes. I got thirsty during the rehearsals, so I always purchased a one liter carton of tea. When I brought that with me to the audition, it was directly connected to Yusuke's love of tea (laughs). His juggling setup seemed to have been decided on from the beginning, but when I said "I can do it," it seemed like that was also connected to Yusuke.

Katsurayama: It's a role that was made for Odagiri-kun. It's fate. Things like his clothes are different, but aren't you usually like Yusuke?

Odagiri: Yusuke is the personality that exists within me. It just so happened that the personality I have fell in line with Yusuke. Still, at first, I was worried about how to approach this. Now, I've come to understand that I should explore from within myself.

Katsurayama: I guess there's an Ichijou within me too. It's probably my serious and stubborn side though.

Odagiri: But at drinking parties, Ichijou wouldn’t be the one to make alot of noise, right?

Katsurayama: Yeah? (laughs).

Odagiri: The other day, you passionately sang at karaoke. How long did you end up staying?

Katsurayama: Until around 1 a.m. I think.

Odagiri: Katsurayama-san is talented.

Katsurayama: No, no, that would be you Odagiri-kun.

Odagiri: Uwah, please cut it out (laughs). When I sing, he harmonizes with me.

Katsurayama: I like harmonizing.

Odagiri: The two of us will harmonize songs by groups like the Blue Hearts. That's why Katsurayama-san's usually different from Ichijou's character.

Katsurayama: Even during filming, Ichijou doesn't smile, but there's been many parts where I almost do.

Odagiri: Me on the other hand, I seem to smile too much. Sometimes the staff will tell me, "Don't smile so much." In episode 14, when Yusuke falls into the river and Ichijou-san rushes over to him, there's a scene where I look back at him and smile, but I was told, "You shouldn't look so pleased."

Katsurayama: That must be difficult, huh? (laughs).

Odagiri: It's complicated. It's like I can only do this~ much. If I enjoy my acting too much in an "Odagiri kind of way," I get scolded with, "That's not Yusuke, that's Odagiri" (laughs).

Katsurayama: "That's no good" tends to come out. Still, it also helps us to establish our characters images.

Odagiri: Now that you mention it, we haven't really given each other advice on acting. For me, the Ichijou-san Katsurayama-san plays is like Ichijou-san himself.

Katsurayama: I don't really care one way or another about other people's performances. There are times when we talk about what we should do for scenes where it's just the two of us. I think it'll be more interesting if we can create things that aren't written in the script by ourselves.

Odagiri: The set allows for quite abit of adlibbing, so I'd like to include more of it.

Katsurayama: From Ichijou's point of view, you don't do anything poorly when adlibbing~.

Odagiri: Yeah, that's right. Yusuke does a variety of things depending on the mood of the scene, such as the scenes with Hikari Sensei. Still, it'd be bad if "Odagiri" comes out too much there (laughs). Aside from Ichijou-san and Hikari Sensei, I don't work with the police that much, but I have shot scenes with most of my costars.

Katsurayama: I think all the characters are in a "good friends" situation.

Odagiri: I think it's more friendship than love. Still, I'm sure Ichijou-san has a love story, maybe with someone like Nozomi-san. There are rumors that Nana-chan might become an Ichijou fan too. This makes me sad as Odagiri more than it does as Yusuke (laughs).

Katsurayama: Everyone has their own personality. Both when they're playing their roles and as their normal selves. This is especially true for someone like Oyassan (laughs). When we're together in a scene, I want to laugh with him, but I can't (laughs), because I'm Ichijou.

Odagiri: Oyassan does some interesting things in the test shots right before we shoot for real. It's such a waste since the most interesting parts aren't what's being aired. Speaking of wasteful, there are quite a few scenes that are filmed, but then aren't used.

Katsurayama: There are. The other day, there was a scene where Sugita-san was teaching Nozomi how to brew tea.

Odagiri: Yeah. Sakurai-san was also with them in that scene.

Katsurayama: I guess it all came down to time, but it's a shame that it wasn't aired.

Odagiri: It seems that after much deliberation, the Director reluctantly cut it out.

Katsurayama: It's alittle sad when any of the scenes or takes that I personally wanted to see don't make it in.

Odagiri: Like which ones?

Katsurayama: It's just some small things. I've always liked detective stuff, so I like the parts where the undercover patrol car's lights go off. We filmed it, but when I watched the broadcast, it had been cut. I guess even stuff like that gets cut (laughs). On set, I tried saying something funny like, "How about a slightly silly side of Ichijou's character?" In a scene where he'd be alone, I'd say a joke that wasn't funny. However, it really didn't seem like Ichijou, so I stopped (laughs).

Odagiri: Just as Sugita-san is putting all his energy into a scene that's supposed to be a masterpiece, Ichijou-san will come out of nowhere and "steal" the viewers away (laughs). It's always the same.

Katsurayama: But recently, Sugita-san's been taking over some scenes. Sugita-san's character has developed. In the beginning, Yusuke, Ichijou, and Sakurako were the main three creating the drama, but now, the other actors and staff are rapidly creating the characters, which has made it more interesting for us to watch.

Odagiri: I look forward to it. I feel lonely when there's about a week between filming.

Katsurayama: That reminds me, we went out drinking with Tsubaki-san for abit. I had promised Odagiri-kun that the two of us would go out for drinks together, but then they bumped into each other at a certain station.

Odagiri: Right, right, when I was waiting for the train at the station, Otsuka-san just happened to be standing next to me reading a newspaper. I invited him to join me since I was going out for drinks with Katsurayama-san afterwards. Then, to my surprise, when we got on the train, Nanamori-san was sitting diagonally in front of us (laughs). Otsuka-san and Nanamori-san had never met each other, not even within the show, so I loudly introduced them to each other while on the train.

Katsurayama: It surprised me when I was waiting at the station, as I thought, "Is that the Rose Tattooed Woman over there?" (laughs). Because, not only was it Odagiri-kun, but Nanamori-san and Otsuka-san were also there. I wondered, "Do they have filming today?"

Odagiri: It was a creepy coincidence. Something like that happened not once, but twice.

Katsurayama: You can no longer say, "There's no way I'll encounter them."

Odagiri: Speaking of which, the other day the two of us went out to buy a computer, and right next to me was a child saying, "No, that's Pegasus Form!," but he didn't notice us at all.

Katsurayama: Odagiri-kun's appearance was different, and I wasn't wearing a suit. We do usually ride in a car together though.

Odagiri: I'll occasionally ask him to take me home on the way back (laughs).

Katsurayama: I'm sure people would wonder about that if they saw us. We're not in a black patrol car (laughs). We've never been recognized when walking together. Sometimes I have when I'm by myself. I'm usually just wandering around.

Odagiri: I ride my bike everywhere (laughs).

Katsurayama: Whenever we go out together, it's either for a meal or for drinks. You wanna go fishing next time?

Odagiri: Ah, please take me with you.

Katsurayama: I'm afraid he'll get mad at me if we go alone, so I'll invite everyone. And when I say fishing, I don't mean anything that serious, we'll just be sitting on the breakwater all night.

Odagiri: That sounds nice. Let's go. _

Bonus Secret Story

For the first half, Katsurayama-san says his dialogue with a Kansai dialect. He usually speaks in Kansai dialect.

Odagiri-san brought his polaroid camera. The purpose was to take pictures for "Monthly Odagiri," a popular corner on TV Asahi's website. He occasionally took pictures of Katsurayama-san talking and Katsurayama-san eating.

Unrecorded Conversation 1 (from a conversation in which Ichijou calls Yusuke by his full name)

Katsurayama: "Godai Yusuke, can you hear me?" How many times have I said this line?

Odagiri: You say it every time.

Katsurayama: "Unidentified Lifeform #10 has appeared somewhere."

Odagiri: "Yes, I understand."

Katsurayama: I also said that for the new toys that are coming out.

Unrecorded Conversation 2 (century eggs were used in the dish that was brought out to them)

Odagiri: I heard that Otsuka-san was a century egg in a previous life.

Katsurayama: Are you a previous life fortune teller? (laughs).

Odagiri: After it ferments, it finally becomes Otsuka-san (laughs).

Katsurayama: He's probably sneezing right now.

[yoiisa]

hello! I just read your pining fics ab windbreaker boys!! can we also have that with sakura, suo, kiryu, sugishita and kaji if that’s okay? but with a crush that is very popular that even small little thing they do get fawned over? like they could be walking and people would say: “theyre so pretty!” “how cute” “I can walk them in any aisle!” cue the boys getting jealous + points if reader knows their crush on them yet rejects their advances every time in a playful way? Like wb boys would confess their feelings for the Hundred time and reader only say: ”awh how sweet!”

eeeee! ofc ofc! these ones might a lil short for each though since i'm doing multiple characters! also this prompt totally reminded me of Aoi and Akane from TBHK iykyk (>ᴗ•) !

➜ sakura haruka is already incredibly romantically dense, so i feel like having a crush on someone who's constantly being showered with flirtations and romantic advances just makes it worse ➜ i can imagine him being like really protective over you though in an overt way ➜ like he will actively tell people off/to leave you alone when their flirtations get to be a bit too much ➜ in my mind, the reason why the two of you haven't started dating is because sakura still has a lot of issues socially that he needs to work towards fixing before he can take on the responsibility of the relationship ➜ but you've promised to wait for him, and that's really all he could ever ask for, so cue a romantic limbo for the ages!

Saturday mornings always meant the market was a little busy, but you didn't mind it one bit. The hustle and bustle made you feel a lot more energized. However, there was one thing that was thing that was draining your spirit, and that was this middle school kid following you around and continuously pestering you for your number. You'd told him off multiple times, and he seemed to take the hint, but nope. You'd turn the corner and he'd be right there, with another cocky grin and a can do attitude that made you want to put your head in a wall. "Please! Just one shot!" the boy says desperately. "Here, where's your phone? I pull my number in-" "I told you no!" you say adamantly, "Now please leave me alone! How many more times do I have to say it?" "Please-" the boy reaches for your arm and his hand wraps around your wrist, but just as it does, a chill runs up that boys spine. Sakura appears, and looks ready to throw the boy into the nearest vendor's stall. His two-toned eyes are all fury and he growls, "She said no. Now beat it." The middle schooler rambles out an apology before turning on his heels and promptly diving back into the crowd, desperate to avoid Sakura's wrath. Sakura turns to you and gives you an unimpressed look. You meet it with a wide smile and say, "Thanks Haru!" Sakura's face burns and he shakes his head as if to try and dissipate the heat. He grabs the same wrist the guy had, but infinitely more gently. His thumb smooths over the skin and he gently leads you throughout the rest of the shopping trip, making sure to keep watch for any more creeps lingering about.

➜ suo hayato's honestly the most mature of the bunch, so i feel like you getting showered with attention wouldn't bother him that much ➜ at least that's what he'd like you to think ➜ honestly, i feel like suo would be a weird shield from all the comments directed at you. he would always hang out near you and try to distract you from the hoard of attention coming your way ➜ god forbid you pay attention to anyone other than him. he wants to be the apple of your eye, and he knows exactly how to do it ➜ if a guy is particularly persistent, suo will promptly take him to the side and as passive aggressively as he can ward that other person off ➜ see, he likes to pretend that he's all mature and stuff, and he definitely is in the show, but at the end of the day, he is a high school boy. he's got that immaturity in him too ➜ even if you lowkey eat it up . . .

"Suo?" you ask as he returns to your side. You'd been standing on a bridge and tossing some bread down to the fish in the water below when he walked up towards you. "What're you doing here? "I was just walking by and saw you, so I wanted to come over and say hi," he says, a soft smile gracing his features. "But you went to the bakery . . .?" you ask, but then Suo raises his hand and gently pats your head. In doing this, he also directs your gaze downwards by gently pushing on your head. Your eyes land on his hand, where he's holding a small bag with the bakery's logo on it. A baguette sticks out of the bag, and you can see the top of what looks like . . . strawberry cake?! "I wanted to feed the fish with you," he explains, " and they were having a sale on cake. Two slices for the price of one!You like strawberries, right? I got chocolate for myself." "Ahh!" You squeal and hug him, your eyes squeezing shut. He sets the cake down and hugs you back, his hands going to your waist "You're the best Suo, thank you so much!" He looks up just in time to see the poor soul wandering out of the bakery and sending him a withering look. He's holding his own bag, because you see, that kid initially wanted to pull what Suo's doing right now. The two of them had been in a race at the bakery, anxious to see who'd get checked out first and make it to you. By some stroke of luck, the other guy's cash register crashed, and Suo was first to leave. He'd made sure to flash the guy a . . . daring smile at the guy as he left, an invitation of sorts. Just try it, Suo said with his eyes. I dare you. But you don't need to know all that. Not while you're enjoying your cake!

➜ kiryu mitsuki has a bit of a playful personality, so i feel like he'd enjoy you teasing him back a little the most out of all the boys ➜ after all, he's canonically known as a ladies man, so you can't let yourself get drawn by some potential fuckboy! ➜ you've known kiryu since you were little, and occasionally would bring him some food for lunch. the first time it was a little scary since you were going into a place that had no girls, but everyone was super nice to you, so you got used to it by your third time going ➜ however kiryu knew a lot of the niceness was just because of how cute you are, and honestly you do too ➜ but it makes you happy seeing kiryu get riled up a little bit from all the attention you're receiving, especially since he's normally even keeled

"Ah! Y/N! Hey!" someone calls from behind you. Anzai and a few of his friends are walking with him. Anzai is waving at you and you slow to a stop in front of the classroom door. "Hi Anzai," you say sweetly, and you wave at his friends as they catch up to you. "Hi guys." "Wow! Is that another bento for Kiryu?" one of them asks, eyeing the small box in your hands. You nod. "It's just some sushi I got from a convenience store. I was super busy yesterday, I'm so sleepy~ I couldn't be bothered to cook anything at all!" "Wow Y/N, you're so hard working!" Anzai marvels, opening the door. You step inside, and all the attention falls on you. "You were so exhausted, but you still look so put together," his friends point out. "You're so cute!" "Thank you!" you say cheerily, running your hands through your hair. It falls perfectly back into place, courtesy of the amount of product you'd put in it to keep it healthy and strong. You shrug and sigh, "I try." "It's really paying off!" Anzai says with a bright smile. "Enough!" Kiryu calls from the other side of the class. Tsuguera and Nirei giggle at him, Sakura rolls his eyes. Suo just smiles at the pink-haired boy's attitude. "Y/N's here for me not you!" "A little possessive there, no?" Suo asks. Kiryu pouts and buries his face in his arms as he puts his head on his desk. "I'm hungryyyyy~" "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," you laugh. You wave Anzai and his friends bye before walking over to Kiryu and his friends. You set the bento down in front of him, and talk with his friends. Your smile grows a little as Kiryu links his pinky with yours.

➜ i think sugishita kyotaro is a little like sakura, but like, silent ➜ whereas sakura's more likely to verbally call the person out, sugishita will just loom ominously near you, and chase away anyone who wants to make a pass at you ➜ he's so doberman coded, it's honestly hilarious ➜ i think the one person he can stand that kinda behavior from though would be umemiya. he worships that man, so he'd just bite his tongue, and let umemiya just say whatever. ➜ he still gets mad though, so if he's a little more touchy later on, well, how can you blame him? ➜ after all, blushing, jealous sugishita is the cutest thing in the world!

You're sitting on the roof with Tsubaki, Umemiya, and Sugishita for a tiny tea party. Tsubaki and you organized it, and just brought your respective . . . people with you. "Hey, Y/N," Umemiya starts after eating a macaron, "did you do something different with your makeup?" "Yeah, I was gonna say something," Tsubaki says, pouring more tea in your cup. "I just tried a different blush," you explain. You touch your cheek, and quietly ask, "Does it look bad?" "No, no, no!" Umemiya hurriedly says, holding his hands up in defense. "It looks cute! It compliments you really well! Matches your eyes and stuff?" Sugishita sits up a little straighter at Umemiya's compliments and you laugh softly at his rigid posture. You look at Umemiya and ask, "Have you been getting into makeup lately, Umemiya?" The white-haired boy shakes his head and says, "Nah, I've just been spending too much time with this one." He rests his hand on Tsubaki's shoulder and smiles. "But seriously, you look gorgeous." "Thank you!" you say taking a sip of your tea. You look over and Sugishita out of the corner of your eye, and you freeze momentarily at the look on his face. His eyes are lidded and his face is flushed slightly. He nods and says, "He's right." It takes everything in Tsubaki and Umemiya not to combust right then and there. They feel like crying, as if they're proud parents. As the tea party continues, you and Sugishita link fingers under the table, and he scoots ever so slightly closer to you. Umemiya gives him a knowing look and smile, and Sugishita does everything he can to avoid his gaze for the rest of the party.

➜ think kaji ren's solution to all of this is to just put his headphones on you instead ➜ because in his mind, if you can't hear it, it never happens! but like . . . that's not true ➜ you refuse to keep his headphones on. first of all the two of you have different music tastes, and second of all, you like making him upset ➜ like everyone around him says, he's a cat! to a certain degree, messing with him is endearing ➜ so you don't actively encourage the flirtations you get, but you will lean into them just a little bit to get under his skin ➜ plus he's hot when he's protective

"Where are my headphones?" is the first thing he says to you when he sees you. "I gave them to Hiragi," you say, blinking at him innocently. "Why?"" A vein pops in his forehead and he snaps, "Why did you take them off." "My ears felt like they were bleeding," you whine. "You set the volume up so high!" "You could've lowered it!" "It's too much work!" "Y/N!" "Ren!" "What is wrong with you?!" "Why do you caaarreee-uh!" you protest cutely. Kaji stares down at you, his cheeks turning red. He stutters something incoherent, his voice raspy with frustration. You can't help but smirk as you stare up at him, knowing that now you've got him exactly where you need him to be. You cup his face in your hands and pull him closer to you. He freezes and his eyes go wide as you brush your cheeks with his thumb. "I'm playing," you giggle. "I know why, but seriously Ren, you don't need to worry. No one else is this fun to annoy." Kaji can't decide where or not her wants to kiss or kill you. His brain short circuits and he settles for something in between. His forehead falls against yours and he grumbles. "You're so stupid," he grumbles, a pout forming on his lips. "I know," you smile.

[kittenwriter]

This is why I prefer additive nutrition. I try to include healthy stuff; I don't make any special effort to exclude unhealthy stuff. Every time I've tried to exclude unhealthy stuff I've just ended up going days without eating much and almost passing out. This is, I think we can all agree, a Negative Outcome.

Although I also think having a long list of stuff I actually can't have has influenced the way I interact with diet talk. (I used to joke that the thing that kept me from developing an eating disorder in high school and college was that I had a mystery stomach ailment so there was something that was theoretically genuinely solvable for me to obsess over.) Because I had very objective reasons why most gummy candy wasn't an option and then I discovered fancy brands of gummies that aren't made with corn syrup and I have magically stopped being fixated on gummy candy, and I discovered lactaid pills exist and magically stopped being fixated on cream cheese. I am less fixated on peaches/plums/whatever now that I've discovered that if I want it badly enough for it to be my entire fruit for the day, a nectarine is an option.

And I think having all these very objective rules that genuinely cannot be violated and every time I find a way around one it's an unmitigated good thing has made it very obvious to me how bad the imaginary ones are. Because I'm looking at those like "BUT YOU HAVE THE OPTION OF EATING FOOD WITHOUT READING EVERY INGREDIENT FIRST WHY ARE YOU NOT USING IT."

I do budget certain foods differently. Candy and certain snack foods come out of the Recreation Budget. If I decide I want to spend $8 on bulk candy at IT'SUGAR more than I want to spend that money on, like, a paperback book, there is nothing inherently wrong with that decision. This is why I have a Recreation Budget. (Also IT'SUGAR is an incredibly bizarre place but they have lots of candy with no corn syrup and it's great.)

"Oh so we should just eat anything we want??"

Well actually YES but also:

Restricting food Does Stuff To Your Brain. "Restricting" doesn't mean stopping when you're full. I feel like this is what gets misunderstood a lot. It means placing rules and limits on food that supercede what your body is signalling that it wants. Let's use cookies as an example. Restricting would be:

- I can only have cookies when I deserve them.

- I can only have cookies when I'm alone.

- I can only have two cookies.

- I can only have low-calorie cookies.

- I can only have cookies on set days, or so-called cheat days.

- I can't have cookies.

- I can't have cookies in the house.

- I'm bad when I eat cookies.

- Cookies are a bad food and I must compensate for having eaten them.

Whether or not you stick to the restrictions you set, your brain is learning to be an anxious mess around cookies. It might want to avoid anywhere that has cookies. It might feel shame for wanting or eating cookies. It might get exhausted from suppressing the craving and decide to binge. It might go into binge mode every time you eat cookies because you've taught your body that This Will Not Be Available Whenever. It might feel ridiculously important to eat all the cookies while you can.

I know we're all so used to constantly talking about food, diets, weight and bodies, and it's completely normalised to look at absolutely everything you eat and assign it the level of guilt you're gonna feel for eating it, and to brag about not eating this and that, and to announce that you know it's a Naughty Indulgence when you eat anything sweet.

But oh my god, it's such a huge weight off your shoulders to just let yourself eat cookies because you wanted cookies and stop when you feel satiated and know that the cookies will be available next time you want cookies because you don't need to earn them in any way. Because a brain that knows it can have cookies whenever it wants cookies, doesn't crave cookies all the time. Nor does it feel any self-loathing when it does crave cookies.

And I just wish everyone a very chill brain and some cookies

[beatopia444]

quiet support | spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x catvalentine!reader

masterlist

summary: in which spencer reid realizes that he does in fact have one supporter in his journey with dealing with his addiction to dilaudid

word count: 2.3k

warning: addiction, kidnapping, all the themes of criminal minds, and cat valentine lore

author's note: i just really wanted to write a story where spencer reid had at least somebody to support him through his addiction. what better person than a girl who had been through it herself and is the type of person to offer unconditional love to those around me. pre-lobotomy cat is always in my mind

You had joined the BAU right after the a tragedy had struck the entire unit. Their number one prodigy was one the verge of dying after being kidnapped and tortured by an unsub. Although Spencer Reid was able to get some time off after the whole ordeal, he didn't fully use his time as he wanted his job to give him a sort of distraction from his racing thoughts. He wanted things to go back to normal.

Emily Prentiss had also joined right after you; the two of you creating big changes to a unit that is already on edge. When you accepted the position as the assistant, you would've never imagined you would've been assigned to the most psychologically grueling unit but that's just the way things go and it was times like this where you felt it was somewhat fate.

You recognized the signs. The agitation, those around getting worried about your behavior, the concerning gazes, the increased aggressive behavior, and the distracted mind. It was something you knew all too well.

Although you hadn't been apart of the team for long, it bothered you that everybody seemed to turn a blind eye. They were profilers weren't they? They could see what was happening? Even your high school friends had noticed quickly despite only really seeing each other during school days. The unit spent the most time together so how could they not say something?

Really, it wasn't your place to intervene since you were barely apart of the group. You mainly worked with JJ and contact was limited except for the occasional greetings and helping JJ with the briefings.

One day, you noticed Spencer get up from his desk and make his way to the bathroom, agitation clear on his face. You followed and waited outside, a neatly printed out photo and a staple in your hand as you stapled the paper on the wall. It was a support group with information on where and when it takes place.

You heard him coming out, "Oh my what a nice poster to help people!" you never were a good person to lie when it came to hidden intentions. You looked behind when the door opened and it was not Spencer Reid but another agent, "Oh hello, Agent Anderson. How's your day?"

Anderson lit up at the question and happily told you about it while you just nodded your head, nervously keeping an eye out for Spencer. The bathroom door opened once again and Spencer had zoomed pass the two and towards his desk. After Anderson finished his rant, you smiled and sighed when he left.

First attempt was a fail, but you weren't going to give up.

You came into work early the next day, and lingered around the coffee bar, waiting for Spencer to get his daily morning coffee at the exact time he always did.

"Hi Spencer!" you waved and he smiled and greeted your back, "10 sugars as usual?"

He nodded and this was your chance. You pulled out a pack of gum and started to unravel it. You wanted to show him a small alternative to whatever he was addicted to. Curiosity always got the best of Spencer as he loved to ramble about random things. "Whats that?"

"Gum! I like to chew on it whenever I'm craving something else."

"What would you be craving?"

"You know. The usual, but I think the sugars in this gum can really distract a person."

"Like nicotine gum?"

Your head snapped towards him, eyes narrowing as if he had told you highly classified information, "Of course not. I've never been addicted to nicotine. What are you trying to say?"

Spencer was taken aback by your sudden defensiveness and it seemed you were as well. An awkward laugh left you as you tucked a hair strand behind your hair, "I think I am going to start work now. Bye Doctor."

Okay so that did not go the way you had hoped so. Nicotine was a touchy subject for you as it had turned out, the British snack, bibble, you were so addicted too, had traces of it in the factory that seeped into the sweet snack. After it was banned, only then did you realize that you had a serious problem.

However, what you didn't know at that time was that a wheel sort of turned in Spencer's head. The next couple of days, you figured it was time to step back and reflect. Aggressively chewing your pink gum, you tried to calm yourself down to reflect on your defensiveness. Seeing a therapist had really helped you process your emotions and psychological issues, which you learned had nothing to do with your dyed red hair. The gum was in no way nicotine gum, as you slowly weened off of it long ago but still needed that chewing fixation.

You spun around in your chair at your desk that was next to JJ's. She was going through the case files and you just finished communicating with police precincts in New York.

A knock on the door brought you out of your daze. Your head looked towards who it could be and there was Spencer Reid, a nervous smile on his face as he opened the glass door.

"Hey. Sorry JJ, can I borrow [Name]?"

JJ had this smile on her face as she looked between you and Reid, "Go ahead."

You quickly stopped chewing your gum, grabbed the small trash can by your desk and leaned down to peacefully spit out the gum away from the public's view. The gum sticks were still in your pocket as you followed Spencer out the office.

Spencer noticed that you were unusually quiet, possibly thinking the same as he was. He led you towards a more quieter, private section of Quantico: their case file room.

"What did you need Doctor?" you tried to feign a normal tone but you would've needed to do more to fool a profiler. The two of you sat on a bench that was placed for those who had to search for hours.

"I know what you've been doing."

"What?" You dragged on the last syllable in a higher octave.

"I know it was you who put up those support group posters by the men's bathroom, inside the men's bathroom, the elevator, and in the lobby cork board." You tried to interupt and defend yourself, "I saw the pink double-sided tape and you used the same design for each one."

That last part quickly caused you to shut your lips, "Sorry." you quietly stated and your head hung Iow.

"It's okay. You don't have to apologize. I just wanted to thank you. I actually did check out when of the groups yesterday and it felt nice to open up to other people."

You turned to him and moved closer even though the bench was already quite cramped, "You did? How did we not see each other?"

"You went?"

"Yeah well I sort of kinda volunteer to help arrange it during my free time since it was groups like that that helped me."

"I went to the one at night."

"Oh! Yeah that's probably why." You smiled and moved away.

"I do want to ask, but I don't want to sound too intruding seeing as what happened at the coffee bar."

"Sorry for being defensive. I'm trying to work on that but ask me whatever you want Spencer! I promise I will be open to anything."

"Well I assume that you too were also addicted to something." he carefully worded his words, "How long was it till you felt like you didn't think about using it again."

For once, you really looked deep in thought. Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to formulate your thoughts of this seven year long battle. "Well, I'm not sure I can tell you. When I was 16, I was addicted to this British snack called bibble."

"Wasn't there a big case for that with the FDA?"

"Yes. They were adding nicotine to make it more addictive, but the damage was already done by the time it was sent to the world. I had three giant stashes in my room and it would be the only thing I ate. Even after the stash was gone because my friends threw it away, I couldn't stop thinking about it and constantly craved it. The drawbacks were the worse and it took a lot for me to not buy nicotine products to fill the void."

"How did you resist?"

"I had people who cared for me. Enough to go to my house and take away any traces of bibble. Enough to research how to try and ween me off of it. Enough to buy me nicotine gum and other candies to fill the void. Enough to not go away even after I almost fought them. And enough to give me strength to recover and continue to choose recovering."

That is probably the sweetest and most nondisturbing story he had ever heard from you.

"They also handcuffed me to a recovered addict when they first found out to stop me from buying bibble."

And there it was.

"He was really a nice man and we made a promise to stop eating bibble or use any nicotine products. I still keep in contact with him whenever we get cravings and need support."

You then turned to Spencer and placed your hand on top of his, "I really didn't want to try and intrude since I am new to this team but you really reminded me a lot of myself and I just wanted you to know that you have a supporter. It really is a tough journey and I probably wouldnt be here if I didnt have people who helped me and I dont want you to turn into a version of what could have been me."

'You have a supporter' Those words replayed in Spencer's mind. He looked into your eyes, this warm feeling in his chest as he looked at the resolve in your eyes.

The two of you stayed silent for a while; a comfortable silence yet unspoken words lingered over his head. He glanced towards you; you simply had this smile of relief on your face, happy you got that off your chest, but you still felt a little worried and nervous. Almost as if you were unsure of what would happen now.

"When I first got kidnapped, I remembered thinking that this would have been the end. The unsub had a split personality and one part of him tried saving me in this deluded way through injecting me with a hallucigen."

You knew about the kidnapping but you were never sure about what exactly he went through during that time.

"In a messed up way, I would say that it saved me from what I was experiencing. The more he injected me with, the more that I felt the most calm I had ever felt in my entire life and it made me chase that feeling. When Hotch and the others found me, I—"

Spencer had to pause. He never really imagined he'd recount this story aloud, let alone to the a new agent he met less than a month again. Your hand found it's way back to his, rubbing your thumb to provide a sense of comfort.

"I ended up taking some with me when all was said and done and its still —" he spoke slowly and he could feel his voice crack. This was a smile side of vulnerability he wasn't even sure he had in him. He barely had the courage to look you in the eye as he retold it to you, but felt it was necessary after you shared yours.

Spencer did not have to say anything more before you gently took you hand off of his and wrapped your arms around him. One hand found the back of his head as you caressed his hair and he melted into you. It has been a while since he got a hug. The last one probably got was from Hotch when he found him in the graveyard but he initiated it. The last time anyone had initiated a hug with him was right before Elle Greenaway had left.

You gave a good hug, Spencer deduced as he practically melted into your gentle touch. He did not mind any germs at this time as all he needed right now was the support he longed for from those around him.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Spencer. You are so so so strong. Thank you for trusting me."

He wasn't sure how long he had stayed in your arms or how much time had passed since the two of you had entered the file room, but he was so glad that he went to talk to you. It truly was you who gave him the strength through your quiet unconditional support despite only knowing him for a month and only knowing this side of him.

The first rule of giving a hug is to never pull away first and that's a rule of life that you abide by. It was Spencer who pulled away from the hug and you simply stayed close to him. He wasn't sure where this journey will lead him and he couldn't estimate the difficulty either, but with you by his side to support him, he knew it would be okay.

But of course, even after these sweet moments, you would never change your surprising nature. "Shall I handcuff us together now?"

Spencer just smiled, happy you are still your jolly self and gently let you done with a small shake of his head.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey. I want to say Thanks for all the work you do here. My question is nothing biological, it's just something that spawned from a memory about my high school sex ed.

For some context, I went to a private evangelist high school in a semi-well off neighborhood in Buenos Aires. I had scholarship and some subsides that allowed me to go there as a middle class kid. So I did get Sex Ed that I can say honestly was fine.

Like, they didn't tell us to just don't have sex. we had one talk every two months from 3rd year onwards taught by a biology teacher and maybe some TA that got called in as aide if something needed to be demonstrated.

But every now and then we also has a "social sex Ed" class. Usually taught by one of the counselors. The gist was the guy coming in and telling us about interpersonal relantionships. We had a unit on like domestic violence and one on abusive relantionships from what I recall.

So my question is if that's something that exists in the Sex Ed space? Like, I'm on board with teaching teens those stuff a 100%. It's undeniable a good resource. But Idk if that's something that's standard practice or my school was just doing that

hi, thank you for sharing! I'm glad to hear that you had access to so much information :)

what's typical of sex ed varies enormously from place to place; in some places, you're lucky if the teachers are allowed to acknowledge that protected sex exists at all instead of insisting on abstinence until marriage. personally I think that sex education absolutely should include discussions about safely navigating intimate relationships, because leaving that out makes sex seem like something that happens in a void, like it has nothing to do with any other kinds of human interactions, which doesn't improve anyone's communication. a lot of people come away from sex ed with the impression that they're supposed to just Know What To Do instinctively if and when the opportunity to have partnered sex arises, which couldn't be further from the truth and can make early sexual experiences much more stressful and scary than they need to be.

most of the in-person teaching I do is with younger folks, around the aged of 10-12. and we absolutely talk about consent and boundary-setting in addition to basic mechanics of puberty and pregnancy, because that's a really important part of the equation. teaching the kids how a sperm meets an egg is useless if we don't also teach them how to decide if they personally feel ready for sexual intimacy and how to talk that through with a potential partner, as well as how to say no if they find themselves in situations where they're being pressure to do something that they don't want.

I had a conversation once with the father of one of my students - nice guy, really excited for his kiddo to receive a thorough sex education - who told me with very real regret that his high school offered very thorough details on the physical mechanics of sex and contraception but didn't offer students any guidance on how to actually navigate consent with partners. while he never experienced any pregnancy scares of STIs as a teen, he said he was sure that he was nevertheless "not a very good partner" because while he knew about using condoms, he never learned how to actually talk through his feelings with the girls he dated. it seemed really obvious, to me that, having learned a lot since his teen years, he was carrying a lot of remorse for the ways he might have unintentionally hurt his teenage girlfriends, and was eager for his own child to learn the tools to avoid falling into the same behavior.

part of the curriculum is learning to spot inappropriate behavior and potential predation and how to seek help in those scenarios. when learning about sex, especially for young people, I do think it's genuinely really important to model positive, consensual interactions so that there's a clear point of comparison against situations that are unsafe. but in my class also talk about situations where there are questions of consent but no one clearly in the wrong. what if you friend wants to try kissing and you don't know what to say? what if someone you like is getting too touchy and you want them to stop? if you have a crush on a friend but they don't reciprocate, how should you act towards them after that? all of those are important scenarios to talk about, and help the kids build their skills of conflict resolution and communication in all areas of their lives.

so, the short answer is that it's absolutely not a universal practice, but I really wish it was because it would do a tremendous amount of good.

[lala-blahblah]

Hello, I am going to analyze your psyche about what your favorite version of Narumitsu/Wrightworth says about you and give you personalized therapy advice (JOKE!! This is a lighthearted fun jest and I don't really think everybody falls in these categories. So we are all going to be polite to eachother ok!!)

Elementary school aged Nick and Miles: If this is your favorite ship, you're really into the nineties/y2k aesthetic and you miss going to blockbuster. Also you are feeling untethered and like the last time things made sense was when you were young. You want to imagine that if you could turn back time and do things differently, you could stay blissful and happy forever. But you have this creeping feeling that no matter what you do, time is going to keep passing and you will lose touch with people and think of things you wish you could've said but never had a chance to and this is just going to be an endless cycle for the rest of forever. Some of that is true, yes. The best you can do is be honest with the people you know now about how much you care about them so that they can hold that with them always, no matter what happens.

pre-AA1/Feenie x Bratworth: If this is your favorite ship you are in college or most likely high school. The idea that you could find someone in school and them end up being your soulmate for life is really tender and special to you (because you are in high school and you would like to be loved Right Now Please because facing the change of adulthood without someone who loves you by your side scares you). You also find it difficult to care about adults and their adult problems (because you are in highschool) and honestly? That's so valid. Enjoy your time not thinking about them bc one day it will be all you think about. I fear that if you put too much pressure on yourself about finding the perfect relationship, you will miss out on the ephemeral joy of being with another person. Please give yourself grace and try to live in the moment.

Ace Attorney main trilogy Phoenix and Edgeworth: if this is your favorite ship, Edgeworth is your favorite character and you are really invested in his character arc and want to see it tied up neatly with him letting someone into his life. You like your stories to end with "And they all lived happily ever after", because you like the thought that things happen for a reason, and that if you care enough and try hard enough you can fix things. You probably like to think this because your own life has difficulties and you want to escape them for a little while. Things really do get better, but there are some things you may never get closure on. I am sorry, I know it's hard and it hurts. I am sending you my love

Seven year gap beanix and umm glasses edgeworth? (what is his nickname?): Ok even though this is one time period this actually falls into two parties. People either like this because of Phoenix being a new father to Trucy OR they like it because of Nick and Kristoph's toxic situationship love triangle, which is so deeply funny bc these groups have totally different vibes. So let's split these up:

Dad Phoenix: Phoenix is your favorite character and you want to see him suffer so that he can be cared for by Edgeworth for once. You also like seeing Phoenix do his best to love and care for Trucy despite the circumstances even though he isn't a perfect dad. It means a lot to you to see someone fail and still be loved and deemed worthy by someone. Did you perhaps experience gifted kid burnout in school and feel like you let everyone around you down? Be kind to yourself and examine how capitalism has shaped our worldview so that a "valuable" member of society is someone who holds a job of a certain caliber and earns a certain amount of money. We cannot all be held to the same standards. Do what you are able to do in your situation. Maybe that is fight for people in court. Maybe that is make music or art. Maybe that is being there for people you love. The world needs all of these things, but every person does not need to do it all.

Situationship Phoenix: Phoenix is your favorite character and you think he is owed a little sexiness after being denied love by everyone else in his life. You also want to punish Edgeworth a little bit, like you definitely have some beef against Edgeworth (understandable, although I love him he is frequently annoying) and making him jealous feels like you're serving justice on Phoenix's behalf. You probably lie awake at night and think about the sick comebacks you wish you had said to people who were jerks to you in the past. This very emotionally driven form of serving justice to these characters means that you too would have gotten your badge taken away if you were an attorney. You should probably examine the way you hold grudges and how you treat people you believe have wronged you.

Apollo justice games era Phoenix and Edgeworth: Ok I haven't played all of apollo justice yet I can't tell if there are different eras within Apollo justice, but probably if you like to imagine Nick and Miles are actively dating/flirting during the events of the first Apollo Justice game, you are living in denial that the events of the 7 year gap happened and you are sticking your fingers in your ear and going LALALALA I can't hear youuuu. You also think dads are kind of hot. You probably dislike running errands alone and prefer to have a buddy go with you. You have a small group of friends that you are really close with and you are secretly terrified of the thought of them leaving you. Pain is inevitable, and you must learn to accept this, but know also that joy is just as inevitable. You are stronger than you think.

Post Apollo Justice Phoenix and Edgeworth: If this is your favorite ship, you want everyone to be able to rest. You want to wrap up all the lawyers and everyone they love in a big blanket and let them all take a cozy nap together. You want all the drama to be done so that they can move in together and raise a child together and propose to each other and plan a wedding and be very sweet and kind to each other. Despite your best efforts, I sense that the expected social norms of a nuclear family structure are influencing your life choices. This is not a bad thing, to want these things! But does hitting these life milestones feel genuinely good, or good because you are achieving a goal and gaining approval from others? Close your eyes and imagine moments where you have felt joy. Make a pact with yourself to try and seek out these things more, regardless of whether they are what society expects of you.

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Heesu in Class 2: A personal reminder why I watch queer media

As always I am super late to the party

I recently binged Heesu in Class 2, and I've read a lot of posts about it on here, both positive and negative.

All I need to say or will say has probably already been said in the posts I'm going to reference (notes at the end), but I still wanted to make this post because I watched the series on a whim, but it hit really close to home.

Before we go any further, some things that I need to point out: I have not read the webtoon (I started it after watching the show) and this post is going to have personal takes that might not resonate with everyone. Also, this is only my second meta analysis post, and I haven't watched very many BLs to truly comment on the nature of BL or queer media of a particular kind (though I try to maintain diversity in what I watch), so if I say something incorrect, I'm always open to constructive criticism.

Firstly, as a queer person who'd been in high school not so long ago, I could really relate to the characters and the narrative.

I had an unrequited crush on a really close friend. I never confessed. To this day, I think about the what ifs. Using Heesu's words, I had used up all my feelings for her so I got over her, but maybe confessing when I had the chance would have given me the closure too.

So when I saw that the story started with Heesu having feelings for his best friend that might or might not be returned, I was instantly hooked.

Secondly, the narrative is much more than it seems, and every single scene has a purpose, a meaning, a layer that might just go unseen if you don't know to look for it.

The het narratives are important. Did it frustrate me? To no end. Did I actually consider for a short period to put this show on hold? Heck yeah. Did I finally understand why the het narrative was important to highlight the queer one? Yes.

Let us take the het plot lines one by one.

Chan Yeong and Ji Yu. The most important, the most highlighted. This is a very common story in high school. Girl likes boy, boy likes her back, and they date. I had a lot of friends with boyfriends in school (I attended an all girls school) and I see even more het couples in college. Every single time, it reminds me of what I cannot have. I can't be too close with my partner (if I were to have one), I cannot publicly show affection that goes beyond friendship, I cannot sleep on their shoulders, I cannot laugh over lunch together, I cannot go on dates. That was the same for this show. In Class 2 bolds and underlines het privilege, putting it side by side with the internal struggles Heesu has to go through.

Ho Sik. How het people can be open with their affections, but also how beauty standards play out. One girl thought he was ugly even though he worked really hard to make her a whole ass scarf, while another girl found him cute enough to pursue him even from afar.

Hee Sin. Her repeated confessions. I relate from experience when she says that when she has feelings for someone she can't help but confess, and even if she faces rejection, and dramatically mopes around till her next crush, it helps her move forward. Quite a while after I had feelings for them and even gotten over them, I confessed to a few people. Fortunately, all of them took it in stride, one of them told me she used to have a crush on me too, one was really happy and wanted to know more even though I told her my feelings for her were very short-lived, and the third person is still my friend. And confessing to people does make them happy. Unfortunately, not a lot of queer people have the freedom or confidence to do it. There are just so many things that could go wrong. Especially when the person you like is a close friend, it's incredibly hard. But in the end, her confession gets her a boyfriend, one who was in a relationship at that too. Miracles do happen.

Hee Jae. Her arc shows how easily a comfortable relationship can shift into a toxic one. I don't know how to put what I think about this relationship into words, but it's explained really well in @soypim's post (notes, reference #8).

Hee Jeong. Her story tells us to jump, to take the leap, to prioritize one's own self and dreams. Initially she was afraid to go abroad and study even when she wanted to; this fear may have stemmed from worry about her siblings (also an arc about eldest daughters), or fear from going to live in a completely unknown milieu. But Heesu's words act as a catalyst, and she is ready to take this step. Through her relationship, Heesu is also shown how a friendship doesn't have to end when one person confesses, that despite being in a relationship and breaking up and not seeing each other in a long time, Hee Jeong was still friends with her partner/best friend.

And finally, let's talk about the queer narrative.

I loved the conflict resolution. I loved how Heesu got to be angry at Seung Won. I've seen a lot of BLs, especially Thai BLs, where the lead just sort of forgives the romantic lead for playing with their feelings, and I really do not like that. I love that they cleared that, that Seung Won actually confessed, loud and clear.

They might not have kissed, but boy do I love them.

Personally, I think the scene where Heesu confesses to Chan Yeong is very realistic. I have been lucky to have queer or ally classmates, but I have seen when an indirect reference to a person not being heterosexual confused someone, and they didn't really even understand how it could be. Chan Yeong's parental pressures and expectations were also very relatable, as an Asian only child.

When Chan Yeong called Heesu to the tennis court and hit him with balls, I understood where he was coming from. I'm glad he took the time to process what he'd been told and very clearly told his friend his actual thoughts on the matter. I was glad to realize he values their friendship more than Heesu had given him credit for.

How Heesu in Class 2 was a personal reminder why I watch queer media. I feel like after watching all the BLs I have, I developed certain expectations from what I want from a 'BL'. This show reminded me that at the end of the day, I'm just another queer person searching for queer narratives not only for catharsis through fictional characters, but also to hold on to hope about queer stories. This show reminded me of my high school days and every moment was so real. I lived this show, I could see it unfolding in real time, and that made me really giddy. I want to watch more shows like these.

Finally, some moments that stuck with me in no particular order:

When Heesu saw Hee Jeong coming in late and told her to do what she wanted to, that he'd always support her.

When Heesu came out to Hee Sin. Hee Sin was visibly trying to come up with the best reply, but she handled it well.

When Heesu learns Sweong Won has two moms and he thinks "at least he won't hate me for who I am" I almost cried.

The tennis court scene.

The hand holding scene. I absolutely adored it. I want more scenes of boys giggling over holding hands.

Notes and references Posts that inspired this one (so sorry for the long list of tags 😭):

@alien-ally (post)

@bengiyo (post)

@dramalove247 (post 1 & post 2)

@jackandjoker (post)

@lurkingshan (post)

@nabi-unveiled (post)

@neuroticbookworm (post)

@soypim (post)

@wanderlust-in-my-soul (post)

and this critique by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

MY GOD this took me so long (I've been here for almost 3 hours) my eyes are dead my laptop is cursing me out.

Anygays, I really hoped y'all liked and enjoyed this!

If you read all the way till here thank you so much I love you <3

Remember to hydrate and eat properly, and here's a cupcake for you 🧁

[ihni]

Okay so, the basketball team at Hawkins High convinces newcomer Billy that the school is haunted and that it's a tradition for new kids to have to hide in the high school after it's locked up on Friday their first week on the team, and spend a night inside the achool to show they're not scared. What they're not saying is that it's also tradition for the team to show up at night to scare the shit out of the new kid (creeping close, making noises, tapping on the windows, preferably ending with them chasing said kid through the school etc). It's hazing of course, but it's presented like a challenge and Billy needs to prove his place at the top of the food chain so naturally, Billy accepts (with a scoff, because like, he's slept in worse places than a school, it's not a big deal).

Anyway, when the crowd disperses after practice, and Billy exits the gym to head for his car, a voice comes from around the corner. "It's hazing, you know."

Billy stops and glances to the side, and then waits there while a teammate passes him under the guise of taking out a cigarette and lighting it, and when the last classmate has left, he turns to the corner. And there's a guy there. Long hair, battle jacket. Obviously a metalhead, and also obviously very far removed from the top of the social hierarchy at school.

"Is that so?" Billy says.

"Yep," the guy says. "They'll show up at night, try to scare you. Just a head's up."

Billy, who has walked closer, doesn't say anything at first, but he holds out his pack of reds in offering. The guy hesitates for a moment before taking one and nodding his head in thanks before leaning forward to light it on the lighter that Billy produces.

"Why the head's up?" Billy says, after they've both taken a drag in silence.

The guy shrugs. "I heard what you played when you rolled in. Scorpions, right?" At Billy's affirmative nod, he gives a little lopsided smile. "Not many people in this town have a good taste in music. Maybe I just wanted to be nice to a fellow connoisseur." Billy raises one eyebrow and waits in silence, and is rewarded when the guy adds, "And maybe I'm not too fond of most of those jocks. Honestly, foiling their plans is like catnip to me."

Billy lets out an involuntary huff of laughter at that, and the guy looks doen at his feet but his smile can be seen behind his hair. They smoke the rest of their cigarettes in amicable silence.

Still, even after Billy throws his butt to the ground and grounds it into the asphalt with the heel of his shoe, he doesn't leave. Instead he looks out on the near-empty parking lot, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Oh, that looks like it hurts, California," the guy says. "What are you thinking?"

"My name's not California." A slight pause, then, "It's Billy. Billy Hargrove."

"Well, Billy-Billy Hagrove. Nice to meet you. I'm Eddie."

Billy narrows his eyes at the guy - Eddie - but there's a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. The guy's got balls. He looks at the patches and buttons all over the guy's jacket. And good taste.

"Eddie," he acknowledges, his tongue darting out to lick at his bottom lip. There's a glint of mischief in his eyes. "You look like you know your way around the school."

Eddie laughs. "One could say that I have more experience with this place than most, yes."

"I also get the feeling that you wouldn't mind a chance to ... let's say, play a little prank on my new teammates, there."

"Oooh, California," Eddie all but purrs. "Talk dirty to me. What do you have in mind?"

Billy smiles. "Turning the tables. You free on Friday night, Eddie?"

---

And that's how new kid Billy and social outcast Eddie team up and somehow manage to scare the crap out of the whole basketball team during what was supposed to be Billy's hazing. It's one for the ages, talked about for years to come. It involves a stolen set of keys from the janitor, carefully set traps around the school, a deer's heart (obtained by Eddie from a local hunter), a fake knife from the drama club's props, and Billy covered in dyed-red corn syrup. The team is not prepared. Two boys cry, one faints, and one runs out into the woods in a panic and doesn't come home until the following afternoon.

Come Monday morning, rumor of what happened during the weekend has spread throughout the whole school population, Billy is top dog just like he planned, and the first thing he does when he enters the school is fistbump Eddie Munson with a grin.

And just like that, a new order is established at Hawkins High.

[buck-star]

SFW Alphabet | Terry the terrific

Little side note: @sunday-bug suggested to make one to get more into the feeling to write for Terry. If you wanna read more Terry, check also out her masterlist, amazing work!

A = Affection

Terry is super affectionate, he loves cuddles and kisses. He will have little presents for you — either some flowers, sometimes a little magician show, just for you. As long as he can make you smile! He’s making sure to always hold your hand, or be close to you.

B = Best friend

He would be the best best friend you can ask for. No matter if you know one another since childhood or met in high school. He would be there for you whenever and wherever you need him. Sometimes Terry would be insecure that you think he’s weird because of his magic tricks. But whenever you assure him that you love and cherish him, he shows you another trick he hasn’t shown anyone else before.

C = Cuddles

Terry loves to cuddle! He’s literally the cuddle king. It’s intimate and can express so much more than words can. So it’s not just his way to show affection but also to seek comfort, offer comfort or show his feelings. Terry loves every position to cuddle as long as the two of you are comfortable. But - not - so secretly he loves to be the big spoon. So he can wrap himself around you tightly, draw pattern on your skin and you both can watch movies.

D = Domestic

Terry would love to settle down but only with the right person. He doesn’t want a one night thing, he wants the true love. And when he finds you, he immediately plans out everything! But he won’t tell you, at least not until you both are ready to settle down together. He doesn’t mind chores, he doesn’t like them all, especially when there are too many socks in the wash. But he will help you, and he will cook for you. Though he prefers to cook and do chores with you.

E = Ending

Terry wouldn’t agree to a relationship if he isn’t sure that it will last. He went through break ups — mostly because the person he was with didn’t like him being a magician. When they tried to change him he distanced himself until they were living like strangers again. So, if Terry is hurt, he will distance himself, giving his partner a second chance but when it doesn’t change, he will bring distance between the two of them.

F = Fiance(e)

He would love to get married at some point with the person he loves. But it doesn’t have to be rushed. Terry is grateful and happy with you, with your relationship. Marriage would be the next step but only if you two are really ready for that. Though, he will keep cherishing your love and relationship even if you take your time before marriage.

G = Gentle

Terry is gentle like you’re the most delicate flower. He’s not afraid to break you, but he loves being gentle and soft with you. He’s understanding, supporting. Not only because he knows how it feels when people judge or be harsh, but also because he loves and adores you.

H = Hugs

He loves hugs. When you get home, or he gets home the first thing is a tight, warm hug. You’re cooking, baking, cleaning? He will hug you from behind, his fingers gripping your waist tightly to make sure you’re as close as possible to him. Terry loves hugs, it’s part of his love language.

I = I love you

Terry needs a bit to say these three words, he feels them but he’s afraid of speaking them out loud. Maybe you don’t feel the same, or… he knows you do. So, once he says them, he can’t help but shower you with them. Still not as much as physical affection, but still a lot. Always making sure he acts the same as he talks, but he just loves the softness and the smile on your face when he tells you he loves you.

J = Jealousy

Terry can be a bit jealous every now and then. But it’s not your fault or the way you smile at the bartender. It’s just his insecurities. He’s afraid that he isn’t as good as all these other men could be. Though, he knows you chose him. And the sweet, soft smile you reserve only for him causes his jealousy to fade within a second. You love him, you chose him, and he will never dare to question your love or loyalty for him.

K = Kisses

Soft and gentle kisses from Terry! Sometimes with more passion, but he will always kiss you gently. He loves to kiss your lips, the tip of your nose, or your palms, as well as your neck. Terry also kisses your forehead a lot, letting you know that you’re the only one for him. Because forehead kisses are special kisses. Terry himself loves when you kiss his lips, or his jaw or underneath his ear.

L = Little ones

Terry adores kids, he likes to work with them. As magician he offers amazing shows for kids birthday parties, and he’s always having a lot of fun during these events. The thought of having own kids, of course he thought about it. He would love to have one, maybe two, kids with you. The thought of them playing in the backyard of your house while the two of you sit cuddled up and watch them makes his heart beat faster whenever the thought crosses his mind.

M = Morning

Lots of cuddles! If he wakes up before you, he will kiss your face, every inch of it. He will roll over you slightly, cuddling into you, while he peppers your skin with soft kisses. Terry will help you with the breakfast, lots of fruits, pancakes and hot chocolate, tea or coffee.

N = Night

Terry wants you to go to bed together or else he can’t sleep. You can read — either quiet for you or even loud for him too —, watch movies, whatever, as long as he can wrap his arms around your waist and place his head on your chest. He’s always tangling your legs with his, while he tells you how much he loves you, how beautiful you are and how happy and especially lucky he is with you.

O = Open

For you? Terry is an open book. He wants you to know all about him. Terry doesn’t care that he’s vulnerable then. He wants you to know everything about him, because he would love to know everything about you as well. It’s still not overwhelming much he tells you about himself, but when you’re sitting together to talk, he will tell you about himself or if you ask anything about him.

P = Patience

Terry is super patient. He has not reason to get angry, if anything doesn’t work, he will just make some magic tricks to make you both laugh and then you can do whatever you wanted to do again. When you both disagree, you can talk about it without anger or frustration. But he isn’t patience when someone talks bad about you, or makes you sad, then he isn’t patient at all.

Q = Quizzes

He remembers a lot! Not everything of course but the important things he does. Terry knows what you like, knows how to read you to make sure he can get you what you would like without having to tell him. In conversation he takes care of the little details, sometimes even your body language or expression. He loves you and he wants to be as best as he can. So remembering stuff isn’t a big job for him. But something he loves to do.

R = Remember

Terry loves everything that has to do with you. But just favourite moment — one of his favourite moments — was when he asked you out on a date. The day your eyes lit up with excitement when he used his cards to form words to ask you out. Plus the trick where he pulled a flower from his pocket and handed it to you with a wide smile. You said yes to go out with him, of course.

S = Security

Terry is protective, not too much but he is. He knows when you can handle things yourself and he will let you, unless you ask him to handle the situation. But if someone would dare to hurt you, he would be more than protective of you. Terry won’t let anyone hurt the ones he loves. He doesn’t like to use violence, he would talk, but if the person doesn’t listen, he wouldn’t stop from pushing them or setting a punch to make listen. No hard injuries, just to make them back off.

T = Try

Terry would try his best to impress you with every date, not matter of anniversary or a coffee shop date. Little presents are a “must” for him. Even if it’s just a bouquet of your favourite flowers or a bar chocolate. He’s helping you with everyday tasks as best as he can, fixing stuff and doing chores with you, so you don’t have to do them alone. Instead you can use the time together, going for walks or other activities he has planned. Because with Terry it’s never boring, not even during movie nights — where you two make the snacks by yourself — because that’s your way of putting effort in your relationship.

U = Ugly

A bad habit… or more a funny thing. Because of his magician he keeps some cards everywhere. So when the two of you are shopping he often pulls out some play cards instead of money. It’s often funny, unless the employees are already mad, then that only worsens it. But except that, Terry doesn’t have real bad habits.

V = Vanity

Terry doesn’t care about his look. Not really, he is who he is. It needed time for him to accept himself and since he does, he doesn’t care if someone is laughing or doing bad jokes. The only thing that matters for him is you, he wants to look good for you. And so he does, he notices the sparkles and love in your expression when he wears something he likes, something you two like.

W = Whole

He would feel incomplete without his girl, yes. Terry can’t imagine anything without you anymore. Doing the chores, cooking, baking, cleaning, reading, watching movies or just cuddling. It wouldn’t be the same without you, so yes. He only feels whole with you, that’s why he cherishes and adores his girl — he makes him feel like he’s wanted. Like he’s needed. He’s loved.

X = Xtra

Yours and Terry’s first kiss. It was clumsy, it was the first for both of you. But damn, it was perfect. Sitting on the couch, looking deep into one another’s eyes. And while you tilted your head, he did the same. Unfortunately you two titled your heads both into the same direction and hit both of your heads. It was cute, soft and you both laughed before you kissed one another softly.

Y = Yuck

Liars. Terry hates lies, he hates liars. And Judgements. Terry has faced so much lies and judgement before, it’s nothing he wants in a partner. He’s just himself with you, so you can just be who you are. Terry loves you with his whole heart, every aspect of you. So, you don’t have to hide or lie, unless it’s a little lie about a surprise for your boyfriend.

Z = Zzz

Terry can’t sleep without in his arms. If you’re not in bed the same time he is he will throw himself left and right and just can’t find a position for him to sleep in until you’re curled in his arms. He doesn’t tell you, but your heartbeat, your warmth and your soft breathing calms his thoughts, he just likes to have you close.

Taglist: @rogersbarber @loki-laufeyson68 @etherealdisneyvillainness @winterschildren8 @rnurse-kole @kimmie113080 @sergeantbarnessdoll @sebastianstanisahotmf @mercurial-chuckles @holylulusworld @randomawesomeperson102 @looking1016 @multiversefanfics @kpopgirlbtssvt @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @alexxavicry @gremlin-girly @grilledcheesewithjalapeno @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @irisk12 @lilyalone @thenameswinter99 @casa-boiardi @blackhawkfanatic @mrsalexstan @thesarcasmqueen-22 @bamitzzsam @feynightlight @ethanhoewke

[siawritez]

hi um idk how to say this but I was listening to emo boy by ayesha erotica 🥀

can you plz write g!p emo Karina with an 11 incher x popular fem reader 😔🙏 I'm crying just by writing this request

Honestly i haven't listened to the song,but i will listen to it,and karina as an emo girl,god,i would also be loved to get fucked by an 11 incher(cough),but a brooding karina is maybe what i am missing in my life

Title: “Extra Hours”

Pairing: Karina (emo, g!p, 11 inches) x fem reader (popular girl)

Synopsis: High School Detention(or very much not)

Tags: slow burn, teasing, size kink, dirty talk, g!p, NSFW, 18+ only

Word count: 3k🙏🏻

---

The classroom was dead silent except for the ticking clock and the hum of the overhead lights. Faint sunlight filtered through the blinds, casting golden stripes across the scratched desks and dull tiled floor. Detention on a Friday afternoon felt like a cruel joke, especially when you were you—the most popular girl in school, too perfect, too polished to be stuck here.

You sat near the front, legs crossed in your little pleated skirt, still in your cheer uniform from practice. Lip gloss shining. Phone confiscated. Bored as hell.

Behind you, in the last row by the window, sat her.

Karina.

Black hair shaggy and half-curled over her hood. Black hoodie. Black boots. Piercing in her lip and attitude that could kill a man. She hadn't spoken a word since walking in ten minutes late, just slouched in her chair, doodling with a pen on her jeans.

You knew about Karina.

Everyone knew about Karina.

The emo loner. The g!p rumor. The one girl in school who didn’t care about cliques or popularity contests. She walked through the hallways like she was in her own world. And maybe that was why people whispered about her. Because she didn’t play along.

But you?

You’d always felt her eyes on you.

In the hallway. At your locker. During lunch when you laughed too loud and bent over too low. You liked attention—and Karina gave it in a way no one else did. Like she was hungry. Like she knew something you didn’t.

You shifted in your seat, pretending to stretch as you cast a glance behind you. Karina wasn’t doodling anymore.

She was staring. Right at your legs.

You smirked to yourself and stretched a little longer, arching your back just slightly. If you were going to be bored for an hour, might as well have some fun.

Mr. Han, the teacher on duty, sat in the corner with headphones in, grading papers without looking up.

The perfect setup.

---

Thirty minutes in.

The tension was getting ridiculous.

You uncrossed and crossed your legs again—slowly this time. You could feel her watching you. Every hair on your body stood up from the weight of her gaze.

You tilted your head over your shoulder, lips slightly parted. “Got a problem, emo girl?”

Her lips twitched at the nickname. “Just enjoying the view, princess.”

Her voice was deep, low—so much lower than you expected. A rasp in her throat, like she smoked words instead of saying them.

You blinked, heat blooming somewhere deep in your stomach. You bit back a grin.

“Pervert,” you whispered, but there was no real venom in it.

“Say that again,” she said, eyes narrowing.

You turned in your seat fully, resting your elbow on the back of the chair to face her. “What? That you’re a perv who’s been staring at my thighs for the last twenty minutes?”

Her eyes dropped. Then dragged up again. Slowly.

“You wore that skirt on purpose.”

“So what if I did?”

Her lip ring glinted as her tongue flicked over it. “Then don’t act surprised when I make you regret it.”

That made your thighs press together.

You didn’t break eye contact. “You think you could?”

Her smirk widened. “Oh, baby. You wouldn’t walk out of here the same.”

You laughed—but it came out too breathy.

The air was thick now. Hot.

Mr. Han hadn’t moved in fifteen minutes.

You rose from your seat without a word and slid into the desk in front of hers. Close enough that your knees touched hers.

“You talk big for someone who hasn’t even touched me,” you murmured.

Karina leaned forward, dark eyes gleaming. Her voice was a threat wrapped in velvet.

“Say please.”

Your heart thudded like a drumbeat in your ears.

Karina’s breath fanned over your cheek—hot and deliberate. Her knee brushed yours again, this time firmer, more purposeful. The whole classroom felt like it was vibrating with something electric, dangerous, and filthy.

And it was just the two of you.

You licked your lips. “Please.”

It came out soft, breathy. A challenge and a surrender all in one.

Karina’s fingers reached under the desk, slow and deliberate, until her hand found your bare thigh. You tensed, then melted instantly as her calloused fingertips grazed your skin, inching up, up, dangerously close to where you were already aching.

“Cute panties,” she murmured. “Bet they’re soaked already.”

You gasped, biting your lip. “You’re disgusting.”

Karina leaned in until her lips brushed your ear. “And you love it.”

She wasn’t wrong.

Her hand slipped between your legs, cupping your clothed heat. You jolted, moaning softly despite yourself. The pressure of her palm was just right—rough, demanding.

“I bet all those football boys you flirt with don’t even know what to do with you,” she growled. “Just get hard and bust in two minutes, don’t they?”

You shivered. “You think you’re better?”

Karina’s hand slipped into your panties, two fingers immediately finding the slick mess waiting for her.

“I know I’m better.”

And then—she kissed you.

Not soft. Not sweet.

It was teeth and heat and dominance. She bit your bottom lip, sucked it, then shoved her tongue into your mouth like she owned it. Like she was claiming you.

You kissed back, fingers digging into her hoodie, trying to pull her closer even as your hips bucked into her touch. Her fingers teased your entrance—just dipping, not entering, drawing circles, smearing your wetness.

“You’re so fucking wet,” she groaned against your mouth. “All this for me?”

You whimpered.

“I haven’t even pulled it out yet,” she muttered, grinning darkly. “Gonna ruin you, princess.”

---

She stood up suddenly, chair screeching across the floor. Mr. Han stirred—looked up.

“Bathroom,” Karina muttered.

The teacher grunted, waved her off.

You followed without being told.

Karina stalked into the girls’ bathroom, grabbed your wrist, and yanked you into the last stall. The lock clicked behind you. It was cramped. Dirty. But you didn’t care.

You were burning.

She turned you around, slammed you gently against the door. “Last chance to back out,” she whispered into your neck.

You looked her in the eye, breathless. “Shut up and fuck me.”

Her smirk was all teeth.

Karina shoved her sweats down—and your eyes widened. Her cock sprang free—thick, long, flushed dark at the tip and already leaking.

Eleven inches. You remembered the rumors. You thought they were exaggerated.

They weren’t.

“Holy shit,” you breathed, unable to look away. “That’s not gonna fit.”

Karina pumped it once, slowly, then pressed it against your inner thigh. The weight of it was real. Heavy. Intimidating. Delicious.

“Oh, it’s gonna fit,” she rasped. “I’ll make it fit.”

She got on her knees, dragged your panties down, and immediately buried her face between your thighs. You choked on your moan, back arching as her tongue licked a stripe through your folds.

“Fuck—Karina—”

She devoured you like she was starved. No teasing now. No slow burn. Just messy, wet, relentless sucking, tongue flicking your clit in quick, practiced circles until your thighs shook.

“God—gonna come—!”

She pulled back, licking her lips. “Not yet.”

You whined in protest.

Then she stood up, grabbed you by the hips, and lined herself up.

“One deep breath.”

She pushed in slowly.

You screamed into her shoulder, gripping her hoodie tight as she stretched you open inch by inch. It burned—but fuck, it was good. You’d never felt this full. This owned.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” Karina groaned. “Holy shit—taking me so well.”

You cried out as she bottomed out. “It’s so big—Karina, I can’t—”

“You can,” she growled, thrusting shallowly. “You will.”

And then she started fucking you.

Hard.

The sound of skin slapping echoed in the stall. You were gasping, clawing at her back, panting into her neck as she ruined you with every brutal, perfect thrust. Her hips hit your ass, her cock hitting deep spots you didn’t even know existed.

“Fuck—look at you—so cockdrunk already,” she panted. “Bet you’ll think about this every time you sit in class.”

Your legs nearly gave out. She held you up, one hand on your hip, the other sneaking down to rub your clit in circles.

“Gonna come?” she growled in your ear.

You nodded frantically.

“Do it. Cream my fucking cock.”

Your orgasm hit like a train.

You convulsed around her, choking out moans as your walls clenched and milked her cock.

Karina cursed. “Fuck—gonna—shit—”

She came deep inside you, hips jerking as she emptied herself with a guttural groan. You felt the warmth flood your insides—hot, thick, endless.

You both slumped against the stall door, panting.

The silence after was deafening.

---

You pulled away slowly, legs shaking. “Fuck,” you breathed, trying to fix your hair in the mirror with trembling fingers. “You’re… insane.”

Karina was still smirking, tugging her sweats up. “You liked it.”

You rolled your eyes, lips twitching. “Shut up.”

She stepped closer again, tugging you into her chest. “You’re mine now, you know.”

You looked up. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She kissed you again, slower this time. Sweeter.

You pulled away with a grin. “Same time next Friday?”

Her eyes sparkled.

“Detention’s never gonna be the same.”

[kings-highway]

Okay its 130 in the morning and this is a thought ive had for a while so bear with me while I write it, but obviously everyone is familiar with Bokuto from Haikyuu and also everyone is familiar with all the owl jokes. Like Bokuto in fics is always obsessed with owls and he's obviously designed to vaguely resemble an owl and have owlish mannerisms and anyway I don't know if anyone has been pointing fingers at fics like "bleh its so annoying that ppl always make Bokuto obsessed with owls theres literally no canon material for it" and thats true to a degree. Technically we never see Bokuto say that he likes Owls the Birds in any specific way. BUT i do feel compelled to defend Owlboy Bokuto as much as possible so I am here to tell you why I think an Owl-loving Bokuto is actually the most accurate thing in my opinion

And it's really simple. The Fukurodani mascot in an Owl. Bokuto doesn't "love Owls more than other animals," and he certainly didnt in middle school. He probably had a whole host of favourite animals. Maybe he never even thought about owls. And then he joins this team and we KNOW Bokuto loves his team more than anything and I don't know about you guys but high school is weird. Thinking back on it is a mix of complete nostalgia and pure grief and anxiety. But it becomes a part of you, its like your first real identity, being in high school. But bokuto joins this team and suddenly theyre "the Owls." "Everyone give it up for the Fukurodani Owls!" And maybe there's even a guy in an Owl costume at some kind of school event. Idk. Anyway, he starts pointing them out, and gets really excited when he sees them. Because oh my god! Thats us! Isnt that funny? And the more he plays with this team the more he feels like the Owl is a part of him. Thats their mascot! Thats their bird, their animal, and maybe he used to say his favourite animal was a wolf or a tiger or whatever but now he says Owl because thats him!!! And all his friends!!!! Thats his family!!! Theyre owls!!! And so he does get really excited when he sees them. And he goes out of his way to point them out if he sees them at night and he absolutely looses his mind at a zoo when he gets to hold an Owl because he's "been" an Owl for 3 years and it feels like it belongs to him. It feels like its a part of his identity the same way being male or being tall or being an athlete is. He is an owl. And he loves owls.

And then one day he graduates and years pass and now when he sees an owl at 1am and he gets so excited and starts pointing it out to his friends, none of them get why he cares so much, but he knows. He's not seeing a cool bird, he's remembering how it felt to be 17 and walking into a championship match. He's remembering his favourite team he ever played with, he's remembering Akaashi and the old route he used to walk to school and the lunches his mom packed and the feeling he got when they appointed him captain, when they told him they trusted him to be the leader of the Owls.

And he'll try and convince his new friends of how cool owls are. He'll start spewing owl facts like a machine, about different species and how fast they can fly and what they eat and where they live and oddly he seems to be able to identify owl species super accurately and his new friends will all laugh and call him the owl-loving weirdo. They'll consider him just a guy who loves owls (the bird) a lot. And they'll make jokes about it and buy him a t-shirt with an owl on it and they just wont get it. They'll think it's just his favourite animal. And it is. But not like that.

And then when he gets home, even if it's 2am, he sends a picture of that owl he'd seen to the old Fukurodani groupchat and for some godforsaken reason Akaashi is up working on his own projects and he sends back support for the owl Bokuto saw and then every other Fukurodani alumni starts berating Akaashi for being up so late and admonishing him for not preparing better for deadlines and they get into a big argument about procrastination and what time Akaashi should be going to bed while the editor fights for his life in the chat and Bokuto isn't really commenting anymore, he's just reading the messages that flood in, and he loves it, he loves this feeling, because the truth is the chat hadn't been used in about 2 months. But they all love getting Bokuto's Owl Watch Updates, even if nobody paid attention to the picture, because for just 1 hour at 2 in the morning a handful of old high school friends are called together to be a team again despite their new and different lives.

So sure Bokuto gets branded by people who don't understand it as just being weirdly obsessed with owls, but they're good animals. He'll tell them as much. They're good birds. They should be everyone's favourite animal, he thinks. And he'll continue sending photos of owls into a 10 year old group chat, and he'll continue memorizing facts about them, and he will continue to be reminded of the absolute best people he knows every time he gets to see one. So he thinks that's worth being excited about.

So yeah, I think owls are Bokuto's favourite animal, even though there's no canon evidence to suggest it.

[paraphwrites]

dbda twilight au. we all know i was gonna write one eventually

crystal palace moves to a small town -port townsend, washington- to get away from her mom, who seems more invested in her art and her new fiancé philip than her ("it's pronounced phil-eep, darling, not philip, like some common american") -- and, more importantly, she needs to get away from her shitty ex, david. port townsend is just as shitty as you'd expect - rain, constantly, and cats, everywhere. her dad, mick, is fine enough, mostly keeps to himself and fishes.

she befriends litty (jessica) and kingham (lauren), who try to "show her the ropes," no matter how many times crystal insists she doesn't actually give a fuck about this school, and will be out of here in 18 months.

and then, she meets the cullens. there's three of them: edwin (edward), niko (alice), monty (jasper), and. their parents, jenny (carlisle) and maxine (esme), are apparently really young -barely thirty- and jenny is the best doctor in the state. and she's- intrigued is an understatement. they're so beautiful it physically hurts, and they're strangely pale. most of all, though, they're keeping to themselves, which naturally means crystal needs to fucking figure out what's up with them. litty says that they're, like, dating each other, even though they're adopted siblings, and that they would never date anyone else, so don't even bother

well, then crystal is assigned to be edwin's lab partner. and he's making this awful face the whole time, like she smells bad or some shit. she tries to confront him about his after class, but he immediately runs off, and disappears for the next two weeks.

when he finally does return, he's a whole other person. hella nice, asking all sorts of questions, but he asks them sort of off. like he isn't used to talking to people. which makes sense, because his family is always sitting at lunch dead silent, with a bag of eggs between them. no wonder he's socialized badly. she tries to shrug him off at first, because crystal palace has fucking pride, but she's really curious about him, and eventually that wins out.

and then he saves her life. and that really does throw a wrench in everything. because there was no fucking way he should have been able to stop a moving car.

so- his skin is cold as ice, and he's got inhumane skin, and he's hella pale- obviously a vampire.

she goes to the beach with litty and kingham and some other people who she doesn't know the names of -- maren something, and a guy who's name is chad or brad or something douchey. she breaks away from them pretty quickly. and then, she meets charles (jacob).

charles is- well, first of all, he's cute. secondly, he's really eager to talk to her. she's pretty sure he has a crush on her, which is validating, and also, like, extremely useful. because charles has an extensive knowledge of local lore. he's really happy to tell her, too. and eventually she gathers that, in fact, there are legends of vampires in port townsend, washington

it escalates pretty quickly, from that. the fucker saves her life, again, and this time, he can't hide it. so, they discuss. in the forest. at night. because crystal is a little stupid sometimes, okay?

eventually, it's figured out. he's a vampire. he lives with his vampire family in a vampire house in the middle of port townsend, washington, and he's been to high school thirty times.

"i could kill you," he says. he tears a tree from the ground to demonstrate.

"you'll get dirt under your nails," crystal replies, unimpressed. "what would the babes think?"

but so now crystal wants to meet his family, or else -- she's tired of hearing about them vaguely watching them from a distance. unsure of how else to proceed, he agrees.

of course, niko immediately is all over her. niko decides they're best friends, now, and that edwin doesn't get to hang out with crystal ever again, because edwin is lame and boring and 102, and she's only 84, so she's the much better choice.

it's eventually revealed that monty and edwin are, in fact, dating, so litty at least got that much right. but niko is very much single.

(crystal knows this because the first time they meet niko says, "hi!! i'm niko!! i'm 84, single, and think you're very cute.")

anyway, everything's going great. crystal practically moves in there. niko loves fashion and using crystal as a barbie doll, and crystal loves watching niko work, laughing and chatting for hours. crystal also gets the joy of insulting edwin's music taste ("debussy? really?") and using monty's tarrot cards to tell edwin that something mysteriously bad was going to happen soon

jenny invites her, one day, to play baseball with them. crystal is kind of apprehensive, at first, because peace and love, but none of them seem particularly athletic. she's pretty sure a strong breeze could knock monty over. but she reluctantly agrees, even though it's raining, because niko wraps her in her pink wool coat, and asks her pretty please, and also, because when she says yes, niko kisses her cheek and smiles like it's christmas.

so, yeah, they play baseball. it's actually fucking insane, because of how strong and fast they are. she watches with maxine, who point-blank refuses to play, and for the first time, ever, she feels at home.

and then, the vampires come. esther and thomas and a red-haired woman who doesn't give her name.

as soon as esther smells crystal, a human, the hunt is on.

it's all a blur, after that. niko and monty take her to arizona, while edwin stays behind to hold off esther, and jenny and maxine spread a fake-scent of crystal elsewhere. it's 48 hours of pure chaos.

and then, someone else kills esther.

a long-haired woman, running around in full nude. it's ruthlessly efficient. thomas and the red-haired woman take one look at her and immediately run the fuck away. edwin murmurs something sounding like "lilith," and then she is gone too, and it's over.

they take her back to washington.

[autistoria]

The two most perfect high school shows ever:

1. My So-Called Life

2. Freaks and Geeks

Both launched the careers of some extremely famous people, both just such a perfect encapsulation of the alienation of teenage life.

And My So-Called Life also had the groundbreaking queer character or Ricky Vasquez (who by the way I ship with the nerdy next door neighbor character Brian Krakow and I am deeply offended there’s not more Ricky/Brian content on AO3. I like to think Brian coming out would have been a plot line on the show if it hadn’t been cancelled.)

Do me a favour and reblog this with a show you like that was cancelled after only one season. I don't mean shows that were always meant to be miniseries or shows that work perfectly well as a standalone story, or shows that might still get renewed. I mean shows that are and will forever remain unfinished. The more obscure the better.

[matt-murdockk]

Gold Rush— Chapter 1

series masterlist | fluff, not exactly angst, but there's an emotional heart-to-heart

pairing: spencer reid x fem!bau!reader

words: 3.1k

summary: Hotch has you and Spencer pose as college students for a particularly riveting case. Spencer confides in you about his own college experience. Morgan and Garcia debate meddling in your lives.

warnings: language, mentions of suicide, canon typical violence, bogus statistics that i made up for the sake of plot

a/n: new spencer series can i get a wahoo; This is the first chapter, it's going to be a slow burn, fluffy, angst, probably suggestive, friends-to-lovers thing, with a definite happy ending because Spencer Walter Reid deserves good things in life. no established timeline yet, but Gideon is still with the team right now.

In all your time at the BAU, one thing you noticed was how surprisingly often you had to take cases involving universities. Something about high-pressure environments like these kept pushing people over the edge. It made sense if college was still as brutal as you remembered; no wonder people kept losing it as frequently as they did.

"Did you know that over 1,100 college students in the U.S. die by suicide each year? And nearly one in four students meet the criteria for a diagnosable mental health condition, but only about 25% of them seek help. Also, campus crime rates have shown a 7% increase in violent offenses over the last decade— likely due to underfunded mental health services and increased academic stressors."

"That's an extremely depressing statistic, thank you for that, Spencer."

"Emily, I'm just trying to help."

The environment in the jet was tense, to say the least. On top of the fact that the latest victim had been found less than 200 feet from a freshman dorm, with signs of prolonged restraint, the most recent ME report confirmed what they’d all feared: this wasn’t rage. It was ritual. Deliberate. Calculated.

"Alright," Morgan said, flipping through the file, his brow furrowed. "We’ve got four students dead in six weeks. All of them high achievers, all part of the same hyper-competitive academic fellowship program. No signs of struggle. No known enemies. Ligature marks around the wrists and feet indicate that they may have been tortured. Slowly."

The jet was quiet for a beat— just the hum of engines and the occasional rustle of paper.

(Y/n) leaned forward, elbow on her knee, eyes scanning the victimology chart. “All four were juniors. That means they were eligible for summer internships. The kind that come with permanent placement options.”

JJ glanced up from the folder in her lap. “You think this could be connected to competition? Someone trying to eliminate the top contenders?”

“It’s possible,” (Y/n) said, thoughtful. “But if it were just about removing competition, the unsub wouldn’t need to do it this violently. This feels... personal.”

“Good insight,” Hotch said, nodding once. “Keep following that thread.”

From across the aisle, Reid spoke without looking up from the file in his lap. “It’s reminiscent of the 1998 Brecklin University case in Utah. Three students from a competitive honors cohort murdered by a rejected applicant. Same kind of precision. Same fixation on achievement.”

“That guy had a manifesto,” Gideon muttered, not looking up. “Swore the school was rigged against him.”

Emily sighed. “So we’re looking at a potential revenge motive. Someone who thinks they should’ve been in the program?”

“Or someone who was and got cut,” JJ added. “We’ll need to get the list of current fellows and anyone who didn’t make the last cut.”

(Y/n) reached for her tablet, already briefing Garcia. “On it.”

Next to her, Spencer nudged her foot lightly under the table. “Your theory tracks,” he said, voice lower now, just for her. “Most people overlook psychological escalation when there's a logical motive present. You didn’t.”

(Y/n) shrugged. “Yeah, well. Most people don’t spend their weekends with you explaining twelve different types of criminal obsession over lukewarm coffee.”

He huffed a quiet laugh. “That was one time.”

She grinned. “It was three.”

Morgan noticed the moment and smirked slightly. “Alright, lovebirds. Focus.”

"That's not— we're not— I, uh," Spencer struggled.

"Wow," replied (Y/n), clutching her imaginary pearls. "And here I was, thinking our love was real. For shame, Dr. Reid. For shame."

Spencer huffed out a soft laugh, the tension in his shoulders easing just enough to be visible. He turned slightly, catching her eye across the aisle.

She was already looking at him, one corner of her mouth lifted in that way that meant you’re fine.

He mouthed a quiet, thank you.

(Y/n) winked. Anytime.

——————————————————————————————————

The precinct they landed in was small, boxy, and smelled vaguely of burnt coffee and stale printer ink. A far cry from Quantico, but it would do. JJ and Gideon were already coordinating with local officers, setting up a profile board in the narrow back room that doubled as a break area.

Garcia was on speaker with Derek somewhere in the periphery, her voice tinny through the ancient phone system as she rattled off the initial background checks, with the occasional inappropriate comment that Derek doubled down on with much joy.

Hotch stood at the centre of the chaos, calm as ever. “I want (Y/n) and Reid to go undercover on campus,” he said, flipping through a preliminary security log. “The unsub is targeting students from within. We need eyes and ears close to the victim pool.”

Spencer blinked. “You want us to pose as… students?”

Emily smirked from across the room. “What’s the matter, Reid? Afraid someone’s gonna ask you to shotgun a beer?”

Spencer ignored her. “I just mean— my college experience was… atypical. I was fourteen. I didn’t live on campus. I didn’t attend parties or football games or join any clubs. Well, regular clubs. I— I don’t know how to blend in with normal students.”

“Well,” (Y/n) said, patting him on the back as she passed, “lucky for you, I was a deeply average college student with exactly zero social capital and a very unhealthy caffeine addiction. I’ve got this.”

Spencer gave her a wary look.

(Y/n) grinned. “Seriously. Relax, baby boy. I gotchu.”

Across the room, Morgan let out a low whistle. “You two are gonna blend in just fine.”

Spencer shot Morgan a look, then turned back to her. “I’m not entirely sure how pretending to be eighteen again is going to help us gather meaningful data. For all we know, Morgan would probably make a more convincing student. He can pass for a jock, right?”

She handed him a hoodie someone had fished out from the campus security lost-and-found. “Don’t worry. You’re not here to be meaningful. You’re here to be pretty and mysterious.”

Spencer adjusted his satchel. “I’m fairly certain I can manage mysterious.”

(Y/n) smiled, tilting her head. “Yeah, and the pretty part is, well, already taken care of. Come on, Doctor. Time to infiltrate the youth.”

——————————————————————————————————

The sun was beginning to dip behind the campus library, casting long, golden shadows across the quad as (Y/n) made her way toward the old stone fountain at the centre. It was a popular hangout spot, even now— students milling about with iced coffees, backpacks slung low, laughter bouncing off brick walls. She spotted Spencer instantly.

He stood awkwardly by the fountain, posture too straight, expression too polite, and looking deeply out of place in the zip-up hoodie they’d bullied him into wearing. A group of girls had just passed him— giggling, whispering, one of them very obviously handing him her number on a napkin from the student café.

She bit back a laugh as she walked up.

He looked over and exhaled like her presence alone was a relief.

“How’d it go?” he asked.

(Y/n) sipped her drink. “Made some friends, got a few names from the fellowship director. Cross-referenced their housing, spotted a pattern— he’s been circling the same three dorms. Garcia’s running the utilities and entry logs now.”

Spencer blinked. “You got all that in twenty minutes?”

“I multitask,” she said, handing him a folded notepad. “Also, the campus gossip train is terrifyingly effective. Everyone knows something. Especially if you bring a coffee and look appropriately tired.”

He flipped through the notes, nodding slowly.

"So, how'd it go on your end? You look like you had to sit through someone misquoting Nietzsche for 40 minutes straight."

"Well, let's see. It took me conversations with 4 different people to realise that I was being propositioned, got 6 phone numbers so far, yeah, apparently I give off a sullen, mysterious, lonely English literature professor energy that quote unquote chicks dig, at least 3 people thought I was someone called Scotty and would not listen when I very politely tried to explain to them that I had no idea who this Scotty was, I think someone tried to sell me weed? Yeah, and I stepped on something; I don't even want to find out what it was, I'm just going to burn my shoes when we get home, and I am deeply, utterly, painfully uncomfortable."

(Y/n) stared at him, wide-eyed, then promptly burst out laughing.

It wasn’t delicate. It was full-bodied and genuine— the kind that made her tip forward slightly, hand pressed to her stomach. Spencer looked at her with faux-offense, arms crossed, but the corner of his mouth twitched anyway.

“You think this is funny?”

“Oh, hell yes. This is the best day of my life,” she wheezed. “You getting mistaken for Scotty is just hilarious, might I add.”

"You know him, too? Jesus, who's Scotty?"

"Dude, you should so meet Scotty, how do you not know him? He’s a campus legend. Sells weed, gives terrible relationship advice, runs an anonymous poetry zine, and once faked his own death for a sociology project.”

Spencer blinked. “What.”

She shrugged, sipping her drink like it was the most normal thing in the world. “It was performance art.”

“We’ve been here for—” he checked his watch, “—an hour and twelve minutes.”

“Exactly. And you’re already accidentally embodying the student body’s most chaotic icon. You’re killing it.”

Spencer opened his mouth, then closed it again, clearly reassessing his life choices.

They started walking, cutting through a patch of sun-drenched grass toward the dorms. The chatter of students buzzed around them like white noise— fragments of conversation, laughter, the occasional sound of a Frisbee being caught mid-air.

As they passed a cluster of students seated under a tree, one of them nudged another and nodded toward them.

“See?” the guy said, not even trying to whisper. “Cute couple like that exists, and I’m still getting ghosted by someone named ‘do not pick up.’ There’s no hope, I swear to God.”

Spencer nearly tripped over his own feet.

(Y/n) didn’t miss a beat. “He’s talking about us, by the way.”

Spencer flushed immediately, the tops of his ears turning pink.

“I—uh, should we—?”

She looked over at him with a sly smile. “Should we what? Set the record straight? Clarify to the emotionally devastated college population that we’re not dating?”

“I mean… maybe?”

(Y/n) nudged him with her shoulder. “Relax, Spence. I know you get weird when people tease you.”

“I do not get weird,” he said, entirely too quickly.

“You’re currently red from the neck up.”

“That’s due to sun exposure,” he deadpanned.

She snorted. “Sure. And I’m Miss America.”

They walked a few more paces in comfortable silence before she added, softer this time, “We’re better than any couple here, anyway.”

He turned to look at her, brow furrowing just slightly. “We are?”

She met his gaze without hesitation. “Of course we are. We’re best friends.”

And that— somehow— made his shoulders drop, just a little. The tension melted into something else. Something warm.

He smiled, quiet and real. “Yeah. We are.”

(Y/n) nodded, bumping her hand lightly against his. “Come on, pretty boy. Let’s go see if Scotty’s real or just a campus cryptid.”

Spencer followed, still smiling. And just like that, the blush didn’t feel like embarrassment anymore.

——————————————————————————————————

After a particularly long day on campus and a debriefing at the station, the team was done for the day, back at their hotel rooms, some fast asleep, and some wide awake.

The hotel vending machine made a mechanical whir before it spat out a slightly dented packet of peanut M&Ms. Spencer retrieved it with a sigh and didn’t even bother opening it. He just stood there in the dim hallway, bathed in the soft flicker of an overhead light, letting the quiet settle around him.

He hadn’t been able to sleep.

He rarely could, after days like this.

So when he heard soft footsteps padding across the carpet, he didn’t need to turn to know who it was.

“Can’t sleep?” (Y/n)’s voice was quiet, warm. Like she already knew the answer.

Spencer shook his head. “Didn’t even try.”

“Same.”

She joined him at the vending machine, arms crossing over her chest, hair pulled up and messy like she hadn’t really meant to be seen. It made him smile, faintly. They walked in unspoken agreement to the little lounge area in the corner of the lobby, two mismatched armchairs and a table that had definitely seen better days.

“You know, I used to dream about going to college,” he said suddenly. “Not the academic part. Knew that was always going to be easy or at least manageable for me. But the rest of it. The normal part. Living on campus. Making friends. Going to class. Meeting people who liked the same things I did.”

She turned to look at him, but didn’t interrupt.

“I thought it would be like starting over,” he said. “School was not a particularly pleasant time, so I thought maybe in college, I’d finally belong somewhere. That I’d find my people, you know?”

He gave a soft, humorless laugh.

“I was maybe fourteen when I started at Caltech,” he said. “I lived alone in a rented apartment two miles from campus. My mom called every night, sometimes crying. I didn’t know how to help her. I didn’t know how to help me. I used to walk through the dorms just to hear other people’s voices. I’d sit in the library until it closed so I wouldn’t have to go home to silence.”

Her heart cracked a little.

“I had classmates,” he said. “Brilliant ones. Talented. Older. But I didn’t have friends. Not really. No one ever invited me out or sat next to me unless it was for group work. Most of the time they just stared. Sometimes they laughed.”

He looked down at the packet in his hands.

“I stopped hoping for a normal life around that time. Just told myself that some people don’t get it. That I wasn’t… built for it. That I didn't deserve it, you know?”

She didn’t know what to say, not at first. Her throat was tight.

“But today,” he said softly, “walking around with you— pretending, laughing, just… being— I felt something I haven’t felt since I was a kid. I felt like I could’ve had that life. I could’ve belonged. And maybe the reason I didn’t wasn’t because I was broken or unworthy. Maybe I just hadn’t met you yet.”

Tears prickled at the backs of her eyes before she could stop them.

“Jesus, Spencer,” she whispered. “You absolute menace. You’re gonna make me cry in a Red Roof Inn lobby.”

He smiled, small and tired. “Sorry.”

She nudged his knee with hers. “Don’t be. I’m really glad I know you. I hope you know that.”

“I do,” he said quietly. “And I’m really glad I know you too.”

There was a soft sniff from behind a fake potted plant.

They both turned.

Morgan stood frozen mid-sip with a bag of Skittles in hand, blinking like he’d just stepped on an emotional landmine.

“I— yeah, I’m just gonna—” he gestured vaguely behind him. “No, no, I’m fine. Just… allergies. In my soul.”

He ducked away before either of them could call him out.

(Y/n) turned back to Spencer, her voice a whisper now.

“If we’d been in college together… I think we'd still have been best friends.”

His hand found hers under the table.

"You think so?"

"I know so."

——————————————————————————————————

The unsub didn’t wait.

By the time they pieced together the access logs and realized which dorm was next in the pattern, it was almost too late. A camera glitch on the east quad. A missing student not yet reported. A name on the fellowship list— circled twice in the unsub’s obsessively annotated journal.

Spencer and (Y/n) were the closest.

They ran.

It was a three-story building, older, with creaky stairs and fluorescent lights that flickered like they were as nervous as the students inside. Spencer took the west hallway, (Y/n) took the north. Backup was still five minutes out.

The door wasn’t locked.

(Y/n) burst in just as the unsub raised a knife— quick, practiced, like he’d done this before. There was no hesitation in her tackle, no falter in her grip. The scuffle was fast, messy, a blur of movement and panic and adrenaline. She got the blade away from him, but not before they both slammed into the desk and hit the floor hard.

By the time Spencer reached her, the unsub was cuffed, breathing hard through a busted lip, and (Y/n) was sitting on the carpet, checking her elbow for bruises.

“Are you—?!” he started, too breathless to finish the sentence.

She looked up at him, eyes wide.

“I’m fine,” she said, and winced. “Desk fought back, but I won.”

Spencer crouched immediately, hands hovering just above her shoulders, like he needed to touch her but wasn’t sure if he should.

“You sure?”

She smiled, even as she flexed her fingers. “Yeah. You?”

He let out a shaky breath. “I am now”

——————————————————————————————————

The case wrapped up within hours. Victim safe. Unsub in custody. Team debriefed. Statements given.

They flew home that night.

The jet was quiet, lit only by soft blue overheads and the glow of tablets left idle. Hotch was asleep with his arms crossed. Emily was out cold, head tilted back on the headrest. Gideon had claimed the recliner and a blanket. JJ was slumped sideways with a folder still open on her lap.

Derek sat near the back, phone pressed to his ear as he whispered to Garcia on the other end.

“I’m just saying,” she was saying, muffled but insistent, “if those two don’t get it together soon, I will start mailing them matching ‘just kiss already’ T-shirts. In their sizes. Color-coded.”

Derek snorted quietly.

“They’re asleep,” he murmured, watching them from across the cabin.

Spencer was curled slightly toward (Y/n), his head resting gently on her shoulder. Her cheek was pressed to his hair, one hand resting over his, where it sat on the seat between them. Neither stirred.

Derek smiled to himself, watching the slow, steady rise and fall of their breathing, synced without even trying.

“They’re gonna be okay,” he said softly into the phone. “Both of them.”

There was a pause on the other end. Then Garcia’s voice, hushed now, like she didn’t want to disturb the moment from a thousand miles away.

“They already are.”

Derek leaned back in his seat. “Still think we should’ve meddled?”

“Nah,” she said. “Not this time. They're doing okay, where they are. Writing their own story. We're just lucky enough to read it.”

He huffed a quiet laugh. “You’re getting all poetic on me, Baby Girl.”

“Well, you’re getting all soft on me, Chocolate Thunder.”

“Only for you.”

“Oh, I know.”