#I also think that he lowkey might have had an ED in the first books bc when did he eat anything

[sualne]

hii! honeslty just curious, I read/watched kuroshitsuji AGES ago and I don't think I've finished the manga anyway, does grell go by she/her?? I vageuly remember ppl headcanonning them as enby though iirc in canon he's a guy?

Your tags peaked my curiosity, I haven't seen any Kuro content in a hot minute, but I remember it being the absolute must watch in my peak anime watching years lol And I absolutely loved the manga's artstyle

in canon grell is a trans woman, yana toboso has said something like "grell is a man with a woman's heart" ages ago and sometimes around 2014/16 had tweeted something about wanting to be more careful with her representation of people like grell in the future, don't quote me on that thought because i only read that tweet once and only remember reading a shitty screenshot of a translation of that interview where she allegedly said that.

i can however show you this:

it's from a bonus chapter (after chapter 108) about the popularity polls (it's a very convoluted non canon chapter) but it's one of the most blatant example of her being trans.

there's also the way she constantly refers to herself as a "young maiden" ect. idk how it goes exactly in the og but in french they translated it so grell always refers to herself with feminine terms while everyone else misgender her including the narrator. she very consistently reaffirm herself as a woman through every single ones of her appearances, like it's a thing she very much does, every single time she's on screen.

i haven't watched the anime in forever (cause it's kind of a disgrace and insult to the manga lol) but if i remember properly (which i mostly likely don't) they did omit/lowkey censor some of grell explicitly going "i wish i had been born a woman/could have been able to carry children" when she first properly introduce herself as a shinigami & the other half of jack the killer. (the anime also really did lean a lot more into the pervert queer caricature whereas in the manga she's given a bit more dignity, especially the further the story goes. though that might be my own impression and maybe it didn't change that much i just love her a whole lot).

also because i have to, please forget the anime (the first two seasons that is) and read the manga first and foremost because oh boy, what a disaster the anime is (nostlagia and atmosphere wise it's entertaining, i really love the op & ed, but it just, i just cant man it doesn't even compare to the manga at all). only watch book of circus -> book of murder -> campania movie -> the new private school arc that's coming soon (idk what they called it) after reading the manga.

[vampirealpaca]

My thoughts on the pjo show (now that the season is over) (this is going to run long) Overall Rating: 8/10 :

Ok first of all, I actually LOVED the show and the cast is literally awesome; I do have some thoughts and feelings tho.

The GOOD :D

The visuals were eating ngl

THE CAST!!!! they literally were amazing cannot stress this enough

I think a lot of the changes were handled super well, especially Medusa (although I don't love all of the changes...see below in the next section lol)

I LOVED the set design for pretty much all of the scenes!!! Like the set & costuming was literally so good; sometimes it looked a little Volume-y but I think it's ok since they also clearly did a bunch of on-location stuff

Driving scene was literally so funny like no notes on that + the acting was On Point pretty much All of the Time.

I actually think they slayed with the special effects

Pretty accurate! (overall a waaaaaay better adaptation than the movies)

BLUE FOOD!!!!

More Sally content was awesome!! And I cannot stress this enough the ACTORS WERE SO GOOD in their roles!! Like I think they were the perfect choices ngl and I hope to see more of them in season 2 (if we get one, idk if its greenlit yet)

I also liked how they focused on Grover's character more (lowkey my fav now)

Genuinely had a great time watching the scenes from the books I've loved since Forever come to life onscreen!

The character dynamics were GIVING

Loved getting more info about Percy's backstory

The way they showed the Mist was honestly so cool!! This might be filed under Visuals but still...it was so cool

Fight choreo fluctuated, but I liked the Percy vs Luke fight (altho the scorpion erasure ;-;)

Again the chemistry with the actors like adkjhfdkjdfkjhdfjkhk I think the acting may have been my fav part honestly lol

All of the easter eggs for the fans!!

Rick's subtle rewriting of the story was sometimes very cool! (Like with the water grabbing Percy etc) --- you can definitely tell that he's thinking about how he'd change the story if he were to write it today

...HOWEVER i have gripes :(

THE LIGHTING WAS TOO DARK IN NIGHT SCENES!!!! HATE THAT TROPE WHY CANT I SEEEEEEEE (looking at u medusa scene)

I feel like they should've fallen into like…at least one trap without Knowing Everything about it. Like, I get the Medusa change and am pretty on board with it, but I feel like a few of the other changes weren't really necessary & messed with the stakes. A lot of the time it felt like I was watching them explain "Oh you're THIS person so you will do THIS so I will do THIS" instead of like...showing me.

Not enough blood (this is prob a Disney problem, not the show creators fault but like...cmon Disney...they have swords, let the children get More Injured...they are Fighting for their Lives)

Felt kinda...dryer than the books? idk how to explain it...like it felt like there wasn't the same Vibes in some parts if that makes sense, like they switched out a lot of funny moments (esp with how they changed Charon and the Crusty scenes lowkey im bitter)

the tone was definitely sometimes waaay different from the books (like it was way more serious I think, which is good sometimes and less good other times)

Idk if this is 100% true bc my last reread was a few months ago, but I think they separated the main trio more than in the book (?), it felt like they were duo-ed with diff members for a lot rather than building off of their main dynamic -- they had some trio moments but ig i just wanted more (again, I could be wrong on this one tho)

Lotus Casino not really being as Fun (the pumping lotus flowers in the air was a cool detail tho!)

It generally felt like they took a lot of the funny parts in favor of talking more about how messed up the gods are (which I liked sometimes!! but the kids are 12 let them have more funny moments too yaknow) (Rip the Died in the Bathtub line...gone but not forgotten)

I really didn't love the changes that made the story feel more Cliche and Basic (the ones that annoyed me were changing the entire DOA to just Some Standard Death Eater Looking Fellow & Annabeth's interactions with Cerebus being completely changed)

Mixed feelings on Gabe...I wanted him to be more evil at the beginning but I get why they changed it ig. Plus he was literally so funny when he (spoilers?) got murdered by opening someone else's mail. That's what happens when you commit a federal crime ig.

General Character Thoughts:

PERCY: Walker Scobell was such a good casting call... like you can tell he really cares about the books & getting the character right. Acting was on point, sass was on point (but I do wish he got to be sassy a bit More); Really gives off the energy of Percy Jackson and definitely was AMAZING in this role!

ANNABETH: She was spectacular in this role!! Leah got literally all of Annabeth down to a T --- her kindness, her pride, her wisdom, etc etc without resorting to any kind of "stock smart girl" vibe. She was literally SO GOOD! I loved seeing her talk about her dad, and the detail about her not having seen a movie is such a mood and so in-character lowkey. Leah really nailed Annabeth's dry humor and general vibe like dfajkhfdjhkfdhjk

GROVER: He was my favorite! Like, his acting was AMAZING fr!!! They brought a lot of newer things into his character that I think worked really well & it definitely strengthened his characterization --- he was also really funny & so sincere I just loved his portrayal of Grover!

HOWEVER I think some of the arcs are shakier since the characters didn't struggle as much, since they were figuring out a Lot of things

Overall, I took 2 points from the rating because the Spirit and Humor weren't fully there and I felt some of the changes made it feel less like the OG and more cliche (looking at u Charon). However, the great acting, pretty slay writing (except for the tone stuff), Vibes, and all the other stuff I think they did right pulled through to get it ranked a little higher lol. Plus, I liked it, even if I didn't like all of it.

No hate if u loved the show adaptation tho!! Feel free to disagree, these are just my thoughts lol. I really genuinely hope there's going to be a season 2, although I would like if they fix a few of these problems in that potential season (please...let me see what's happening in the dark scenes...please...)

[yeetlegay]

The gremlin is back with new notes, I hope you don't mind. I'll put a read-more mark in case someone wants to skip them.

Santa Maria we're like 1 minute in and it's already going places

Pete didn't strike me as a tattoo person but it makes sense

I mean I know my man is getting slapped and all but that shirt is fire

"Who's a good boy?" sounded equally terrifying and awfully cute (9 minutes in and I'm already bananas)

TANKHUN YES HELLO OMG YOUR OUTFIT IS LIT LIKE ALWAYS

Tankhun has the best reactions, kicking Kinn with legs included

Porsche is the definition of "this all could've been done without a gun and yes, this all could've been an email"

JESUS that wrench is huge

what if the car accident was caused by Time? In one of the first episode Time mentioned Tay's dad covered up his car accident like nothing ever happened because it was his area. Just a thought.

omg Porchay and his Snoopy hoodie so cute I'll die

as someone who has terrible relationship with my siblings, I'd die for their bromance. Porsche and Porchay might get on some people's nerves in the fandom, but like... They literally only have each other. Of course they'd be super gentle and overprotective.

God that blow-dryer is loud

omg these two babies. Tay and Time are serving looks

OH MY GOD SHE IS SO PRETTY SHE IS INDEED SERVING LOOKS

Love how Tay is manspreading while Time is trying to occupy as little space as possible

Vegas is really reading Childhood's End, a story about literal aliens invading Earth while he has Pete locked up???

No, he isn't. Idk whether I should say God bless or not

I wish Vegas' father a happy burn in hell

Tankhun is such a fashion icon and no I will never stop saying it

I want Tankhun to be kindergarten teacher to my kids so he can teach them basic life rules such as be relaxed and kill everyone who is suspicious immediately and all that while looking so damn fabulous

Sir, uh, that is, um, really creative excuse to kiss someone...

Pete is so good at asking the right questions at the right time

"Have you ever loved me?" no, that's why he Superman-ed those kidnappers and proceeded to enter the warehouse guns blazing... (I getchu tho, Chay...)

Vegas, it's not as bad as before because prior to this you got free Pete therapy session

"If you hate me, you'll have energy to kill me later." or as I call it, positive thinking

Turbulence... noted.

Nope, I don't think my car accident theory was correct. Rest in peace theory, you did your best.

I started to respond to this bullet by bullet but half the bullets were just variations of “AKDHDJNSJSKAJSH SO TRUE” so here is a shortened version lol

THE WHO’S A GOOD BOY LINE REWROTE MY FUCKING DNA ISTG if I ever decide to proceed with my villain era I will be taking Vegas as my manipulate manslaughter malewhore inspo

“This could’ve been an email” LESTAT I WHEEZED

That wrench scared me more than the electric chair (taint edition) from ep 10, like for why is it so ENORMOUS

I live for sibling bonds too ugh. Oldest of 5 here so Porsche’s older sibling struggles resonate deeply. (Also that one post about how Kinn is a middle son but an eldest daughter…math was found dead from the accuracy)

The second I saw the Childhood’s End cover I had to pause and Google lol I’m obsessed with analyzing characters’ reading choices (the Kardashian Konfidential book led to a headcanon that Kinn started watching KUWTK with Tankhun just to feel something and now he’s lowkey a celebrity gossip encyclopedia)

Tankhun kindergarten teacher…WHO’S GONNA WRITE HIM STARTING A MAFIA DAYCARE FOR THE NEXT GENERATION OF THEERAPANYAKUL TOTS

No bc my first thought when Vegas did the pill kiss was “holy shit he’s ballin I could’ve been having my gf give me Tylenol kisses this whole time???” Like absolute legend behavior imo

Kinn walking like that had me thinking Something Else and I was like “surely…surely they wouldn’t have…..not-not on a-a helicopter” so glad we got confirmation of a sky bj to bring my brain back online (sort of)

[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers being Soft for Their Daughters 

Might just be me but I think there's nothing cuter than a Dad who loves his daughter so I made a hc for our boys. Strap in, it’s a long one! 

IMPORTANT! Watch out for first half spoilers! Assumed that the child is a half human/half demon with the MC!

Lucifer

Tries to be really strict but ends up being kind of a pushover.

Oh there ARE rules that even his little girl can't break, but most of the time she can get away with almost anything if she's cute clever enough.

Pushes her to be the best at almost anything she tries, expectations be real high; gonna take the MC stepping in to remind him winning isn't everything and please cool it on the pressure.

Lowkey learned his lesson before and doesn't want to make another Satan situation so tries to take MC's advice to heart and not be quite so controlling.

Her favorite uncle is Mammon and he gets cold sweats about this every night.

Wasn't able to be there for a lot of her firsts due to work and gets real sulky when he misses out. Videos just don't offer the same experience...

Feels bad that work keeps him so busy so he tries to make up for it with toys, clothes, jewelry, pretty much whatever she likes at the time.

Would never admit it, but his black heart melts every time he comes home and sees she's excitedly waiting by the door.

One of those parents who will never stop bragging about how amazing their kid is to anyone who will listen, but never when she's in the same room.

100% that overprotective "I'm going to give you a brief tour of the torture chamber, then we’ll browse my whip collection. Oh, make sure she's home by 8" kind of dad if she were to ever bring home a date. They will know that his baby is not to be messed with (like anyone's crazy enough to try honestly).

Mammon

So over the goddamn moon that someone actually wanted to have a kid with him that he couldn't shut up about it for weeks.

Treasures his little girl more than anything he owns, even Goldie. When she's a baby the two of them are practically inseparable.

The biggest pushover to ever be pushed. She's about the only person he's ever unconditionally generous to and he really spoils her rotten.

She's just as materialistic as her father, honestly, but MC made sure their girl was raised with good morals. The first of which being no stealing. Ever. She works for every cent she spends.

On the one hand, he's actually pretty damn proud and relieved that she won't be called "scum" or anything like her father, but on the other hand like… Ew. Who raised you? (No one remind him it’s kind of his doing anyway).

For once in his greedy existence, he can tell a sob story about really needing that loan or those shoes for his beloved daughter and actually mean it… most of the time 😏

Even when she's young, though, she will ask him if a gift he's giving her was taken from someone else and, man, he cannot lie to her face. People shame him for stealing all the time but the little look of disappointment she gives him hurts WAY more than all of his brothers’ insults combined.

Probably one of the most supportive and involved dads in existence. He will be at every game, every recital, every meet. Even if he's complaining the whole time, if anyone so much as suggests that he just shouldn't go he'd be appalled.

…. He's perhaps a little too involved because he's also totally the kind of father who will lowkey stalk his daughter's dates to be sure nothing bad happens. MC, please step in. She needs privacy too.

Leviathan

Was incredibly worried about having a kid, he's not even had the best track record when it comes to pets and parenting is some high-level normie stuff. But his little girl's first smile absolutely melted his doubts away.

That being said… he's still not the greatest with little kids. For a long time if the baby so much as sneezed unexpectedly he'd start shouting for the MC and checking every website he can like??? My half demon baby won't stop sneezing, is it pneumonia???

Gets a lot less panicky as the child gets older, but in those early years he'd practically want to stick them in a bubble wrap suit.

He passed on his love of the ocean and underwater creatures pretty early on. The running joke is that his girl knew how to swim before she knew how to crawl.

Family aquarium trips are an absolute must.

The second they're old enough to understand plot he's introducing them to his favorite shows, but only the best (and most child-friendly) ones of course. He wants his daughter to grow into a woman of culture, damnit! Pop culture that is.

Sooo much text/chat lingo between these two. It's not her fault really. She was bound to pick it up but man can it sound like they're speaking tongues at times.

With practice she can and will beat her old man at most video games and, yes, it makes his cry tears of equal parts pride and aggravation.

Has a mini-panic attack every time she hits a new milestone, like, yes he's so fucking proud but also don't you think she's growing up too fast??? MY BABY GIRL!!! 😭😭😭

Cries like a baby to the MC when she goes out on her first date because he realized she's really, truly, growing up and he's afraid his little girl isn't going to want to spend time with her lame old dad anymore.

Satan

Tries to be strict and IS strict but mostly on schoolwork.

Her grades best not be slippin' or this Book Papa will take all her stuff away. End of discussion.

Otherwise, he's surprisingly chill being the Avatar of Wrath and all. He of all people understands the desire to just have your own life and do your own thing.

She'll inherit his temper though, that's a given, and if they both get going then watch out. Fights between them can get verbally explosive, but never physical. Even at his angriest Satan would never once lay a hand on his daughter.

Read to her every night when she was young: storybooks, novels, mythologies, didn't matter to him. Whatever she wanted to hear. Still, he was so proud the day she told him that she wanted to read on her own.

100% makes nearly everything in life a teachable lesson but also helps her when she needs it. He wants her to forge her own path but is still very supportive when the situation calls for it.

Would never EVER admit it, but he does just as many dad jokes as Lucifer.

Of all the brothers, he's probably the most typical father to have, there for his kid just enough while also making sure they're not getting away with murder.

Is totally chill with her dating because he knows he doesn’t have to be super protective of her. She can more than handle herself if something goes wrong, in fact, if he were to step in it would probably add insult to their already grievance injury.

That being said, he IS the Avatar of Wrath. If someone hurts his girl he’s going to have a turn one way or another.

Asmodeus

Oh YEEESSS, he's not normally the commitment kind of guy but he and MC raising a child? They'd be the most gorgeous thing in the universe!!! (Not counting himself of course)

Beautifying his baby since day one, but the MC keeps him from doing anything too extreme. A lot of baths, good moisturizer, hairstyling (when she grows enough of it), etc.

Soooo many outfits. She'll practically never wear the same thing twice and Asmo coordinates his own clothes to match hers all the time.

He actually goes out and parties LESS if you can believe it, especially when she's young and needs a lot of supervision. But he'll get pent up real quick so learning how to do a quiet quickie during naptime is a must.

His girl is all over his Devilgram, nearly every milestone is snapped up and recorded. He loves her more than anything and would just scream about his pride and joy from the rooftops if social media didn't provide him that outlet.

Makes sure his daughter knows that she is gorgeous, she is loved, and passes on every bit of self-confidence he has. Doesn't matter if she grows up a girly-girl, tomboy, or anything else under the sun. When you're feeling good just being you, heads will turn on their own accord!

Not the best at discipline and would only really step in if he thinks she's being a real jerk about something. Day to day attitude adjustments are totally up to the MC.

He is, however, the best sex-ed teacher one could ever ask for and makes sure his daughter knows there's no shame in what comes natural, just be sure you're respectful and responsible!

Completely unfazed when the suitors began lining up, I mean she is HIS daughter. It was inevitable. Offers tips and advice when he can but lets her go off and experiment naturally. Young love is a beautiful thing! (Just don't break his girl's heart though because he may lowkey curse your whole bloodline)

Beelzebub 

….. MC, you're going to be eaten out of house and home.

Though his daughter's appetite isn't AS bad as his, Beel could tell it's going to be an issue from day one but he's ready for it.

Dedicates his freaking life to being sure she never goes one night hungry. He'll cook, he'll shop, he'll even share from his own plate if he has to. The thought of her going through anywhere near the level of starvation he feels on a daily basis is enough to crush his soul (if he has one)

You better bet there will be eating competitions. She never wins, but the fact she can even get close will have him grinning anyway.

That being said, he will push for a healthy and active lifestyle for her too. 

Highkey wants her playing sports and doing team activities because he genuinely thinks it will help her stay healthy and make friends.

Just the right amount of discipline. Tries to be understanding but also knows when to call a spade, a spade and express his disapproval.

Very in-tune to her emotions and her needs even if he can’t quite grasp WHY she's feeling the way she is. Keeping up with teen drama is going to be the bane of his existence...

Uncle Belphie=That one cool uncle who lets you get away with anything and probably gives out sugar after bedtime.

One of the only brothers who makes a point of his daughter also seeing and exploring her human heritage too and not just treating her like a pseudo-demon… And it's totally not just for the added excuse of sampling human world cuisine, like, come on who do you take him for? 🤫

Somewhat cautious about her dating, but ultimately just wants her to be happy. He'll usually trust her judgment but he's pretty good at reading someone's character and if he gets real bad vibes from anyone he's not above telling her, "No. Not that one." Whether or not he's listened to depends on the situation.

Belphegor

Lol MC, you could have picked a much better choice. Borderline Deadbeat/Cool Dad here!

Kids… not his thing. He doesn't dislike them exactly, they're just a lot of work and he's sort of allergic to that. He's more of a semi-irresponsible babysitter type.

Case in point, "Belphie, watch the baby" becomes "Belphie, if you're going to take a nap at least hold onto her leg so she doesn't go anywhere."

Only saving grace is she takes after him so most days she's pretty dang sleepy too. Naptime is a good third of the daily routine (not that anyone is complaining).

Shit at discipline because, like, what leg does he have to stand on? If she wants to ditch class, why not let her? Once or twice ain't that bad.

Takes her on a lot of "field trips" to the human world like he would with Lilith. Genuinely wants her to experience both sides of her identity and encourages her to explore her human side just as much as her demon.

The kind of chill dad that you feel comfortable going to when you've got to talk out a problem or need life advice. He might not be able to offer many answers, but he tries in his own way.

Will prank his kid and will not feel sorry, but is never cruel about it. In fact, this will only spur on a mutual prank war between the two.

Uncle Beel=that genuinely nice uncle who tries to teach you life lessons and how to take care of yourself… while also eating a ton of food.

Would be super confused at first if she started dating like?? How? He kind of sees her like a mini-him at times and his human came to him. Since when did she stay awake long enough to leave the house?? But otherwise he goes with the flow. Whatever she wants, her life.

He might get a bit more agitated if she starts to date a human, like, lowkey bad flashbacks to the whole Lilith situation and the MC would probably have to cool his jets about it. Different circumstances after all.

[saucysamu]

Hey I have an emergency rq cause my ed (bulimia/anorexia) is back and it’s really bad rn :/ I was hoping u could do an ed reader with yamaguchi, suga and akaashi? Thank you it means the world to me and I love the idea behind this blog😌

Hey anon! I sincerely hope you‘ll catch composure soon, stay strong ❤️

If you need someone to talk to my dms are open!

Also on another note: since i want it to be as realistic as possible i try to keep it as general as possible in order not to trigger anything!

Yamaguchi, Suga and Akaashi x reader with an ED

warnings : e4ting d1sorder, mention of food/eating

Yamaguchi

• King of self blame,,,,sigh you know dis bih is the most emotional out of those 3

• not to be an ass but i do think he would approach it,, well,,, not in the best way

• he would tell you how beautiful and perfect you and your looks are thinking that it’d make you feel better

• constantly tried to distract you,, give solutions,, he just wants to help and never dealt with something like that ok he‘s trying 🥺

• pls be patient with him he will get a hold of it!

• so much information gathering

• lmao literally follows the instructions from websites and books on how to be of help

• extra careful not to trigger you in any way,,honestly it doesn‘t always work we know he‘s lowkey clumsy

• gets impatient internally bc the way you perceive yourself has him like :(( and he just wants you to be okay like??? How can someone as beautiful inside out not love themselves as much as he does??

• he doesn‘t show his impatience tho you‘d be surprised

• avoids talking about anything related to that in order not to say anything wrong, unless you initiate a convo

• the BEST at listening, no judgement, takes everything in and takes mental notes/hints and starts working from there :)

• he‘s so happy when you‘re willing to seek professional help he might start tearing up 🥺

• does anything to comfort you and is always there for you, loves you the way you are and it‘s become a ritual for him to reassure you every day

Suga

• you can tell me what you want he‘s the born therapist without meaning to lol

• Sugamama™️ instincts are kickin he just FEELS when something’s up

• does everything intuitively and it??? Works???

• just KNOWS how to be there for you

• starts cooking more balanced meals

• never forces you to eat, but does want you to sit with him when he‘s having lunch or dinner

• wants to show you that it should be something enjoyable by that

• not pushy, let‘s you take the time you need he‘s kind of "chill" about it yk?

• like don‘t get me wrong he‘s sad you feel that way but he‘s optimistic and knows you‘re strong and he knows he‘s there to support you

• when he‘s had a bad day/ feels irritated he does want to scold you like the urge is tingling but nope! Takes a deep breath bc he‘s aware it wouldn‘t do any good

• I want his self-control

• the PROUDEST when you‘re more open for therapy

• rarely (and I mean rarely) feels helpless but when he does he‘d probably contact consultants and ask for advice

• you know he‘d never judge you, the way you think etc so you can be yourself around him as best as you can

• king of boosting your self-esteem!! Hypes you like no other about all the shit you do

• will always catch you if you fall back into old patterns

• will hold you silently and kiss the top of your head when you break down "we‘ll get through it together y/n. I promise"

• he keeps his promise.

Akaashi

• the first time he noticed something..going on his heart sunk

• don‘t you dare thinking he would ever show it in front of you but you do catch a glimpse of his weak moment

• we all know he can be a little blunt and a little bit too honest so expect a lecture

• ,,,that obviously backfires

• learns from his mistake though

• asks you directly what he can do for you in order to be there for you the right way

• he has obviously read various articles and magazines about it already and he knows it varies from person to person so he‘s just asking blatantly

• you know the mental list he has for Bokutos emo moments? Yeah he does the same for you and hence doesn‘t start conversations about it anymore

• he is one (1) rational dude, so when it comes to food he‘ll look for extra healthy stuff and tries to make it look uhh more appealing for you if you get what i mean??

• doesn‘t set ultimatums for anything but he does want you to eat at at least a bit every day

• insists on spending even more time with you, he needs to take care of you and sometimes he doesn’t even notice that he’s technically babying you and sometimes you would giggle at his behavior and he‘d be all like ?????

• he‘s the type to subconsciously flutter you and make you feel loved by doing small things like i‘m not kidding he wouldn‘t even notice he‘s doing something you find special yk?

• when you both are sleepy he likes to hold you close, nuzzle his face into your hair and mumble sweet nothings. When he‘s sleepy he‘s the most vulnerable so he‘d tell you how much he loves you and how stunning you are.

• Squeezes your hand whenever he tells you such things. He wants you to know he‘s there for you no matter what, even if he can‘t express it the way he wants to.

[prettyboy-asmo]

Brothers (+Diavolo and Solomon) reaction to GN! MC fainting

A request from @bigg-crybaby  HC for how the brothers + Diavolo and Solomon react to the MC fainting because of a diet/ ED.

TW: Discussion of EDs, Diets, disordered eating, fainting.

Note: Disordered eating is something I’ve struggled with in the past, so I know that like most things in life it’s experienced very differently for each individual. I also want to make a note that My messages/ask box is always open to anyone who might need to talk for whatever reason. (I also put all the tags i could think of for tw but if I missed one please let me know so I can correct it.)

Lucifer:

It happens one day when you join him in his office to work on your homework for RAD, you just want to be able to work in peace and don’t have the energy to listen to the usual bickering.

you stand up to grab something you’d left in your room and suddenly the room is tilting and oh boy, you think, because you know how this goes. 

Lucifer catches you before you hit the floor and sits you in the armchair, unsure of what to do.

Lowkey panicking but trying very hard to keep a semblance of calm. 

you don’t appear to be in any immediate danger, so he messages his brothers and asks if they noticed anything strange with you lately. as his brothers respond the pieces finally put themselves together. 

Mammon replies first- They were sleepin late today and when I woke em up they insisted on skippin breakfast to be on time. then comes Satan’s reply, they didn’t eat at lunch, they said they’d gotten some snacks between Classes from Beel and went to study instead. And finally, Beel, I didn’t see them at all this morning.

When you’re aware, you’re greeted by Lucifer’s concerned gaze. “MC,When is the last time you ate?” for a moment you expect Lucifer to be angry, but his expression remains concerned. “Please talk to me, MC,” 

Eventually, you admit that you last ate at Dinner the night before, finally telling him that you’re struggling- it’s a habit, You tell him, suddenly unable to meet his gaze, Sometimes I can’t even stand the thought of a meal.

He’s angry with himself for not noticing before now, and he swallows his pride and Admits he doesn’t really know how to help- but that doesn’t mean he won’t learn.

He makes a point to sit with you at meals- if it’s too much for you, eating around so many people, He’ll start taking you to his study or his room to eat with him. 

Lucifer is gentle about the whole thing, but not patronizing or babying. He’ll ask you to take an extra bite, or sit you down and tell you to eat, but he still treats you as an adult, besides his extra vigilance of your eating habits, he treats you no different then before- he knows you are anything but Fragile (Or at least, no more so than the average human is fragile to a demon.) 

He tells you that you can deal with this together, and he means it. Good days and Bad days both, he’s right there with you. 

Mammon:

You’re walking back to the house from RAD with him when you’re suddenly aware you’re very light headed. You sway once, hand trying to grip Mammon for stability, then tip forward as black edges around your vision. 

Mammon Catches you and is instantly in Protective Panic mode

He doesn’t know what to do in the slightest- he spends a few seconds weighing his options before turning in the direction of Purgatory Hall- the only other Human must have an idea, right? 

He doesn’t make it very far by the time you’re already stirring in his hold, a little out of it as he slows his movements, afraid to jostle you, but he’s rambling- “Ya can’t die on me, Human, alright? I’m your first man and I’m supposed to protect ya!” 

You tell Mammon you’re not dying, urging him to just take you back to the House of Lamentation. 

He hesitates but relents when you promise to explain things. Refuses to let you walk back though, he doesn’t want a repeat performance. 

You explain that you’d saw this diet going around- how being surrounded by incredibly fit and attractive demons spurred you to try it so that maybe you could feel a little better about things- but you hadn’t had breakfast, or lunch, and dinner last night- he knows you didn’t eat enough to fill or keep your energy up.

He’s heartbroken. “MC, ya don’t need to try any of that bullshit, ya hear? You’re perfect. And ya gotta eat to work! Humans especially!” 

He’s constantly checking that you’ve eaten enough. Even if you insist on only eating specific things, he always makes sure they’re available to you. Even when he’s not on dinner Duty he’ll make a specific dish on the side if it makes you feel more comfortable and keeps you healthy. 

Mammon becomes much more open with giving compliments, no longer hidden behind jabs. 

He might go a little overboard with his protectiveness/ checking in sometimes, but if you tell him he’ll back off after making you promise to tell him if you need him for anything at all.

Still lowkey keeps track of things, just to make sure you actually are okay, just doesn’t vocalize it as much. 

Leviathan:

You and Levi are playing games in his room when it happens. You’re exchanging your usual banter, both of you focused on the screen of the game when Levi notices you go quiet. 

You blink a couple of times, the controller in your hands feels heavier all of a sudden, and you can’t quite remember the right button combinations to press- or even focus on the game.

It all happens within seconds, your vision goes black and you drop the controller, the noise of the game and Levi’s panicked voice seemingly coming through a long tunnel. 

Levi Panics. He abandons his own controller and game, “MC? MC!?” he shakes your shoulder slightly, breathing a sigh of relief as you stir. 

 Your head is throbbing and you can feel the slight shake in your limbs

“You fainted,” Levi said, his frantic worry still evident in his voice, the way his hand lingers on your shoulder despite how adverse he usually is to physical affection, “Are you Okay? Have you been feeling sick?” 

I’m not sick, you say quietly, “I’m sorry,” His genuine concern stirs something in you, and you’re crying before you even realize what’s happening, “I’m sorry for scaring you.” 

“Wha- no, No don’t apologize!” You want to shake your head, but the lingering dizziness prevents you from doing so. “Do you know what happened? S-Should we get you a doctor or-” 

“No doctors,” you say quickly, “I- Uh, I haven’t eaten today,”  His confused expression draws the admittance out of you, “I didn’t feel like I should.” Oh. Oh. 

He understands a little bit, his own self esteem isn’t the best and he’s had his share of self deprecating thoughts but to see something like that manifest in you...he can’t stand it. 

He’ll help you in any way he can. He’ll even leave his room for every meal and go to RAD to have lunch with you everyday if that’s what you need. 

Makes a habit about asking if you’ve eaten that day. He’d even started carrying around little packages of snacks that you enjoy in case you haven’t and insist you at least share one with him

His worry for you is obvious, but not really suffocating. He understands the need for space, so as long as you can assure him you are actually alright, and that you’ll at least eat a little and that if you start having issues you’ll come to him, he won’t have an issue stepping back for a bit. 

Will still attend meals to make sure that you are to, and subtly watches to make sure you actually eat things from your plate.

Offers his room to you anytime you need. Is it easier for you to eat while you have something else to distract you? Dinner time Anime sessions it is. 

Satan:

You finish the book Satan had given you, realizing the other book he’d recommended for you is on the couch next to him. You stand just a little too fast and you curse your mistake as the familiar feeling of falling takes over. 

Surprisingly calm. Catches you seconds after he notices what’s happening. 

You become more aware in Satan's hold. He’s maneuvering you to his now empty spot on the couch, setting you down and saying something, you’re still a little fuzzy, but when his eyes finally meet yours the look of concern on his face is painfully obvious. 

“MC, What’s goin on?” His tone is calm, but there’s an edge, “That isn’t normal,” he says when you remain silent

“Don’t be mad”, you say and a whole new wave of concern washes through him. Are you sick? Injured? “I used to- I’m having trouble with...food.” 

It takes him a minute to understand. He sits next to you on the couch, and gently begins to question you. “Can you tell me why? Can I help?” He doesn’t push you to explain, but he does ask that regardless of what you tell him you let him try to help you. 

While he does research things, he always asks you if you think something would help, rather than suggesting it. He leaves it up to you to decide what you’re comfortable with. 

Will let you eat in his room or join you in your room if you’d rather eat away from people. 

He reads about ‘safe foods’ and asks if you have any. If you do, he makes sure there’s always some in the house (Even if he has to go to great lengths to hide it from Beel.) 

Doesn’t try to hide his concern, makes sure you always eat something but he makes sure not to overwhelm you. As small of steps as you want- he’ll be there for you. 

Asmodeus:

Asmo had begged you to go shopping with him. You honestly didn’t have the heart to tell him no.

You are just entering the third store when you notice your vision blur and darken at the edges, all the sounds seeming far away. 

When you come to, you’re in Asmo’s room, tucked under the blankets. Asmo perks up from a chair pulled closer to the bed, handing you a glass of water. He waits for you to finish your drink before he speaks, “I asked Solomon to check on you.” And what did he tell you? “You know that you’re perfect, right? I’ll remind you as much as you need to hear it.” 

He’s so genuine when he says it, your resolve to remain distant about the topic begins to crumble. You’re all so beautiful and I just feel..I’m just- I thought that maybe if I could lose some weight-

He cuts off your rambling there, “You’re gorgeous, MC. Every part of you. You don’t need to change anything about yourself for anyone but yourself.” He pauses, his eyes searching your face for something before he continues, “And if you truly feel you must change, You can not endanger yourself to do so, do you understand?” 

He waits for your answer before saying anything else. He asks that you promise to come to him whenever you feel that way. 

He’s always been open with affection and compliments, but it intensifies- He’ll shower you in compliments while still being entirely genuine. 

If you seem in an off mood or you do come to him with concerns, he’ll offer a spa day or shopping trip. If you don’t want either that’s fine to- he wants to make you feel better so whatever it is you need, he’s got you. 

While he has full trust in you to come to him if you need him, he’s still keeping a close eye on you. He checks in often but it’s usually subtle enough that you don’t even think twice about it. Even when he’s more straightforward about it it never comes off as pushy or nosy or overwhelming, just genuine concern and curiosity. 

Assures you that he’s not going anywhere, through good days or bad, he wants to make sure you are healthy and happy. 

Beelzebub:

Knows something is up when you’re consistently offering him unfinished plates of food, but he doesn’t say anything because maybe he’s wrong? Humans don’t need as much food as he does, after all. 

But when you insist on joining him in running laps and after only one pass he sees you stop, eyes squeezed shut as you lean forward, trembling slightly- he’s by your side just in time to catch you before your legs give out. 

You regain focus in his arms, “MC.” He sounds confused and worried, brow furrowed as he speaks, “You haven’t been eating enough.” You can feel the flush on your face, unsure of what to say. “Are you ill?” 

Not physically, you say without thinking, and regret it when the furrow of his brow deepens, It happens sometimes. When I’m stressed. When I need to control something. When I feel… bad about myself. You try to explain. 

“I don’t completely understand.” he admits, “But I want to help you be safe. Can you help me understand?” So you explain it as well as you can to him, try to convey what it feels like for you. 

He gets a grasp on it eventually, and then his questions move on to how he can help. 

Offers you bites of his food more often, and no longer asks if you’re going to finish your plate. 

He won’t even take your offered plate if he thinks you’ve eaten too little of it, but he won’t outright press you to eat more. 

He’s always carried snacks around for himself but now he has all the snacks he knows you like to. He even manages not to eat them so he always has them for you. (He’s extremely proud of this, and you are rather touched when you find out from Belphie.) 

Even though he doesn’t fully understand he does everything he can to make things easier for you. 

Make sure you know that he wants you to be safe. He knows it’s not good for Humans to constantly skip meals or under eat, (He asks Solomon how much a human should be eating, just to make sure you are getting enough.)

If you tell him there’s certain food you feel better eating, he’ll avoid those during mealtimes until he’s certain you’ve had as much as you want. He’ll even avoid them during his late night snack runs that way you’ll always have the option to eat those if nothing else seems okay to eat. 

Belphegor:

He comes to your room pretty often looking for a nap buddy. It’s no different this time, except you’re at your desk, staring at your homework but not really doing anything. 

“MC,” you start a little, turning to Belphie, “You look like you could use a nap.” You think that sounds like a pretty good idea. You push your chair out and stand, but just a few steps towards your bed you wobble, stomach swooping and blinking rapidly to try and still the spinning room. 

Belphie steadies you, placing you on the bed gently as you finally seem to come back to yourself. “MC? Are you okay?” 

He doesn’t look outwardly panicked, but his heart is pounding and he’s trying to figure out what the hell that was. 

I need to eat, you admit, your hands are shaking in your lap, and you try to clench your fists to make it stop. I didn’t eat today. He knows you keep a stash of snacks in your room for Beel, so he grabs something out of that and hands it to you. 

He doesn’t really ask questions, he just sits next to you and waits to see if you say anything to him first. If you don’t tell him anything, then he will ask what’s going on. 

Whatever the reason, he doesn’t want to see you putting yourself through that. Makes you promise to talk to him if you need to. 

“Humans have to eat to stay healthy, MC. I don’t want something to happen to you.” 

Already used to carrying snacks around for Beel, just starts carrying more, in case you weren’t able to eat breakfast or can’t stomach a full meal. 

Subtle check ins. He’s not pushy but he can be slightly overwhelming sometimes. He wants to know that you’re okay and sometimes it’s almost like he’s looking for reassurance that you aren’t hiding something from him. If you tell him to step back a bit, though, he will. 

He asks you if you’ve eaten before you nap together. He loves naps and cuddles, but if you haven’t eaten they’ll have to wait until he makes sure you do. 

Solomon:

You and Solomon met at least once a week to study together. So that’s where you were, heading to Solomon’s room in purgatory hall. He’s just a couple steps behind you, and you’re telling him about the latest scheme Mammon tried to cook up when the stairs ahead of you tilt. 

Your hand latches onto the banister and you stop, waiting for the feeling to pass. But it doesn’t this time, instead you hear Solomon’s voice buried under the rush of blood in your ears and everything in your sight is blurry around the edges. . 

Solomon catches you, cursing to himself as he steadies you and then lifts you to carry you the rest of the way up the stairs. 

You wake up in Solomon’s bed, the Sorcerer sitting at the foot of it and simply watching you. 

“Is there something you’d like to talk about, MC?” His tone of voice tells you he already knows, and you decide there’s really no use in trying to hide anything from Solomon. 

It’s just a diet, you tell him, but he shuts that down quick, “Diets are not supposed to make you faint, MC. You’re smart enough to know that.” 

He’s not harsh, but he’s firm. It’s obvious he’s coming from a place of genuine concern and wants to make sure you aren’t endangering yourself. 

“You don’t need to diet, you know that, right MC?”

He starts messaging you to make sure you’ve eaten breakfast before you leave for RAD, and he eats his lunch with you more often- not that either of you mind. 

If he’s really concerned he might ask Asmo to check in with you, or make sure that you’re not skipping dinner. 

Will also invite you over to purgatory Hall for dinner or Lunch. (Made by Simeon, of course.) There might even be an increase in your study meetups. 

Despite all of this, he doesn’t feel suffocating. He listens to what you have to say, won’t make you eat anything you don’t want, just as long as you promise to eat something, even if it’s a little bit at a time. 

Diavolo: 

He invites you over to discuss the exchange program, and you see no reason to turn that down. Barbatos leads you to one of the sitting rooms where Diavolo is waiting, and when you enter he greets you in his usual cheerful manner. 

You can feel the beginning of an odd sensation in the back of your mind, and you’ve almost made it to the chair Diavolo offered you when grey edges in your vision and you sway- 

“MC.” You blink at the concern in Diavolo’s voice, taking a moment to recall what happened. The Lord of the Devildom is crouched in front of you, gaze searching your face, “MC,” he says again, “Barbatos said this would help.”  He holds out a glass of some sort of juice and waits for you to take it and drink a few sips before he continues. 

“Would it help if we brought more Human world food here?” he asks, and you feel bad that all you can really do is shrug. It’s a problem for me with human food, to. You admit under his gaze. It only prompts more questions but you answer them as best as you can. 

“MC, Please don’t think me unavailable if you need to talk to someone. I care about your health.” He continues to question you on if there is anything at all he can do to help. 

You run into him more at RAD, and he always seems to have something extra that Barbatos had made and insists you take it. “Even if you don’t want it now, you might want it later.” You appreciate it more than you can say, even if you don’t always eat whatever he gives you. 

Will also message you if he knows he doesn’t have time to see you in person that day. He doesn’t usually ask if you’ve eaten, but he’ll ask if you’re feeling okay. 

If you tell him that you’re having a hard time with things, whatever he had planned for that day will just have to wait. He’s more concerned with making sure you’re okay. 

He thinks about asking Lucifer to keep an eye on you, but he trusts you to come to him if you need help. 

He understands that he can’t fully understand what it is you feel, but does his best. If he’s concerned about something, or he thinks something might help he’ll bring it up to get your opinion. 

[happygirl2oo2]

Fence: Striking Distance fanart I'd love see made

Please, I can't draw but I need those in my life so badly, and no this list has no order really so do whatever

Harvard and Aiden's fair date (bonus points if you include Aiden's years of dreaming of it as well)

Seiji and The Bros (any scene of your pick)

Harvard on his motorcycle (bonus points if it includes his leather jacket that he literally bought for "practicality", god I love him)

Harvard and Aiden's first time meeting as kids back in kindergarden (bonus points if that includes the full scene with Harvard being Best Boy even as a 5 year old)

The (failed) trust falls scene

Harvard and his mom (I'd take anything, really, but bonus points maybe if it's their talk after he realized he's been in love with Aiden all this time 'cause he told Aiden when he came back that that's what he did)

The scene of Seiji in the lines "He walked off, a stern, remote presence among the joyful crowd. A guy hopping on one foot almost crashed into him. On reception of a chilling glance from Seiji, he decided to throw himself upon the floor instead."

That scene of Harvard and Aiden in the hospital as kids when Harvard's dad was sick and Aiden came back after he was forced to leave 'cause he "want[ed] to be with Harvard"

Aiden and Rosita (possible ideas for it- her singing to him as a kid, the scene of them in the parking lot...)

The 'steaks run in the woods' scene

Aiden picking out his outfit for his fair date with Harvard (he canonly told Harvard that he just bought that for their date, but boy's been dreaming about this date, in detail, for years ok, so you better believe that either he had this outfit tucked away and saved for that occasion only in the hopes that it might happen and he couldn't tell Harvard that OR that he was so excited he really went shopping to get the perfect outfit for his dream date with Harvard, and I'd take a drawing of either version you want 'cause I love them both)

'Nicholas giving Seiji his fixed watch' scene

Harvard and Aiden's first time to Kings Row

"What are you doing tonight?" "Being heterosexual? Or.. maybe not?" scene

Harvard and Aiden in the rain under one coat (Harvard mentioned that it's been happening constantly since they were 10, so bonus points if if it's them, like this, over the years, eventually ending with the scene of it in the fair date)

Harvard taking care of sick Aiden

Dante being Done® with the fence team (scene to your choosing, there's a bunch)

The scene where Harvard and Aiden are being romantic while the others ignore them to focus on crime

Nickholas and Aiden's talk at the campfire

Harvard cooing over the picture Coach's baby nephew she showed him on her phone (happened in the first chapter, bonus points if you include "Aiden sneaked a glance at Harvard's glowing face and then smiled to himself" in the background)

In the same scene as the one the idea above is from, it was also mentioned that Harvard secretly collected videos of kittens and puppies being friends, so a drawing of that maybe..?

Harvard and Aiden's "Because it means nothing" scene (because apparently I'm not dead enough inside yet)

Seiji's first time at breakfast scene (Bonus points Nicholas lowkey stealing Dante's food, and extra bonus points if it includes the scene with "-the best looking guy in school, everyone agrees-"×"Wait, why are we suddenly talking about Seiji?")

Harvard and Aiden's first kiss

Harvard waking up Aiden in the morning (it's canonly said to happen a lot, so you can make it as you wish, but I have the scene if you want it for reference, and bonus points if it's them doing it over the years, starting with younger them doing it by phone like Harvard recalled and ending with it now with their room and shared bed in Kings Row. Additional bonus points if you also make the scene of him telling Aiden boring stories to help him fall asleep)

Follow up on the one above- if you end up just drawing that 'telling him boring stories to help him fall asleep' scene instead, then bonus points if Harvard starts the story with them both as kids, as he's canonly been doing it for years ever since their first sleepover, and ends it with them as they are now at their room in Kings Row

The scene with Seiji, Jesse and Aiden in the woods but the part where "“I knew it, I knew horrible things were happening at Kings Row,” Jesse muttered. He stopped tugging persuasively and pulled at Seiji’s wrist hard enough to hurt, so Seiji’s sleeve was disarranged and the dying light caught his watch. “And what ghastly object are you wearing on your wrist?!” “That’s my favorite watch,” Seiji snapped, and twisted his arm free."

Harvard and Aiden's first sleepover

The campfire scene, specifically the part in the lines "Nicholas made a grab for the big bag of marshmallows, despite Seiji’s attempts to foil him. He fought for possession of the bag while Harvard brought Aiden a drink from the cooler and Eugene protested loudly: “Watch the fire! Bros, I’m concerned you’re gonna actually fall into the huge roaring fire.”"

Aiden and Seiji little talk in the woods after they walked away from Jesse

Harvard and his mom's magazines

The night cook-in meet thing at Dante and Bobby's room (all parts of that scene are on the table but possible bonus points for the part where Harvard's smiling at a text from Neal and Aiden accidently knocks over the burner which sets the curtain on fire)

The campfire scene, the lines "Eugene reached out with hope for a fist bump. Seiji waved him away irritably. “You saw what happened with the weight lifters earlier. Do you think I am in the mood for more physical contact today?” “Understood, bro,” said Eugene, lowering his fist. “Catch you tomorrow, on another righteous teammate day! I think you’re all the best, bros!” Instantly his fist shot back up in position. Seiji gave Eugene a betrayed look. “It’s a reflex, bro,” Eugene assured Seiji. “I didn’t mean anything by it.” Seiji made a grouchy sound and moved closer to Nicholas for protection from fist bumps."

Harvard and Aiden's double date

The Nicholas and Seiji scene in the lines "Seiji clung to the curtain as if it was a security blanket and he was a big baby. "I need the curtain." "You need me," said Nicholas. Seiji Blinked. "What?" "You require my present?" Nicholas reminded him."

The two Harvard and Aiden Araté scenes, next to each other- the one in the Salle where they're fencing, kinda early in the book, and the one in their room with the last kiss, around the end of the book

Seiji seeing Dante trying to sit next to Nicholas and Nicholas telling him "hey, dude, no, I'm saving this seat for Seiji" before he come to the table and sat there

Harvard playing video games with his little cousin (he mentioned to coach, quite early in the book, that he did it occassionally)

Nicholas and the Bros at the fair

Seiji's chat with his dad (bonus points if you also drew the memory of Seiji as a kid that his dad brought up here)

The scene in the woods with Seiji, Jesse and Aiden, especially the lines "Aiden rolled his eyes. “Oh my God, there are three of them.” “There’s only one of me,” Jesse snapped. “I’m Jesse Coste.” He tossed his head up high. Seiji had seen other people quail when faced with half the fury currently gleaming in Jesse’s blue eyes or contained in the arrogant lift of his chin. “Don’t flip your hair at me, freshman,” Aiden sneered back. “I’m Aiden Kane.” Aiden shook back his own light, bright, curling hair from his face and looked down his nose at Jesse. “Who?” Jesse asked. “Ask some of the Exton boys,” Aiden drawled. “I don’t remember their names, but I guarantee you they’ll know mine.”"

Nicholas and Seiji moving the curtain scene

Eugene telling Nicholas about the prank (poor dude about to pass out while Nicholas is touched by it)

Harvard and Neal (mostly for Haiden angst in edits purposes to be honest 😬 But also 'cause Harvard is Best Boyfriend no matter who he's with and I kinda want to see it)

Seiji & Nicholas being Oblivious Freshmen

Aiden's coming out to Harvard when they were.. 15 I think it was(?) scene (it's been mentioned in Aiden's thoughts in the scene where Harvard comes out to him after his date with that girl), maybe? Idk

[bookaddict24-7]

I said at the beginning of the year that I would share my reviews more on my blog instead of just on Instagram and Goodreads. I’ve been reading a lot so far this year, so my reviews will be delayed on here.

Friend me on Goodreads here to read my reviews in real-time!

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131. Haunting the Deep by Adriana Mather--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I read the first book in this series a looooooong time ago, so it took me a while to get back into these characters and their experiences from the last book. But I do remember really enjoying the first one and having high expectations for this one.

I wasn't disappointed.

This was such a spooky and great mystery, sprinkled with witchy themes and a romance that might have been more impactful for me if I'd read the first book directly before this one. I loved the friendships and how they had each others' backs. The way that history was incorporated into this story was also intriguing and though I knew the unfairness of the tragedy surrounding the Titanic sinking, this acted as another reminder of how flawed not only the ship was, but how unjust the treatment was of the third class and below citizens who weren't saved. If you love YA novels with ghostly romances (for example, the Mediator series), love stories set in Salem, and enjoy a good mystery, then I think you'll really enjoy this series. I think it's incredibly underhyped and deserves more love! I do wish there were more books in this series, though! It's sad that it was just a duology!

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132. City of Glass by Cassandra Clare--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This one was definitely the better of the three for me. I felt like the story was more exciting and I liked the mystery and darkness surrounding some of the characters. That one plot twist that started in book one made this slightly uncomfortable at some parts, but I’m glad I was spoiled for it years ago. I shall see when I read the next series—I think I’ll bypass the next three books!

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133. As Far As You’ll Take Me by Phil Stamper--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

TW: Eating Disorder, Mentions of Homophobic ideas, Toxic Friendships I found myself enjoying this book a lot more than I was anticipating. I wasn't a big fan of the author's previous book and I admit that I went in super skeptical. But once I started, I couldn't stop! The story immediately captured me from the beginning up until the very end. I think a big part of why I enjoyed this so much was because I felt that this character was more relatable (for me) than the author's last MC. The MC of this book is struggling with his identity and with his role in the world in lives in. His constant state of anxiety, his need to be loved or to be seen, and his constant doubt of whether people like him or not can be extremely relatable. I related to the idea of whether someone liked me or not based on whether they responded to my messages or not. I related to the toxicity of having a best friendship that's hard to let go of because of the good times sprinkled in with the bad. I related to this character's need to override his anxiety when it came to trying new things. The reason why I knocked off the .5 off the rating is because of how the ED is treated near the end of the book. It's a little too simple and I think that was a message that could have been handled better. I recommend this one for fans of music and travel. Keep in mind that though there is a "romance" in this, this book is more about the MC's growth and journey to becoming who he wants to be (even if it's an extremely bumpy road.)

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134. Perfect World Vol. 3 by Rie Aruga--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Okay, this series is incredible and I definitely can't wait to read the next volume. BUT HER PARENTS and that STUPID NURSE LADY. I hate them. Her parents because hi, hello, people with disabilities deserve love--and that one thing her dad does and the other words her mom says. I have never been so angry with Manga characters before. AND THAT NURSE LADY.

Go rot, you miserable cow.

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135. Perfect World Vol. 4 by Rie Aruga--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I love this series and if I hadn't of seen the pictures of the next few Volumes, I'd be more heartbroken by the events of this one. But I think it's important for the things that happen in this volume to happen so the couple can appreciate each other even more.

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136. Cryer’s Cross by Lisa McMann--⭐️⭐️

I’m not giving this a one star because of the supernatural mystery and her friend who went missing. But this book is a hot mess and I’m annoyed with myself for having it on my shelf for so long. The lowkey racist MC who immediately thought the new guy with brown skin was the murderer because he was rude to her (because he just moved away from his friends and life right before his senior year) and body checked her during a coed soccer game, forced romance with said guy even though her friend/boyfriend had just gone missing, and the stilted dialogue and storytelling made this one of those books you read to get out of the way and know not to read again. The MC applied to Juilliard near the beginning of the book and her obsession with going into dance took up several chapters before the mystery truly started. She never took classes, but we hear that she loves dancing and acting. I don’t know why this part of the “getting to know our MC” section of the book rubbed me the wrong way. It was just such a mess. (SPOILER) LOL the MC tells the guy she likes that he looked good when she watched him on tv at her friend’s memorial service. Her childhood best friend who she thought she loved. This just made me laugh because it’s such a ridiculous thing to say to someone when you’ve literally just watched your best friend’s memorial on television. Priorities? I don’t know her! There are a few other things that felt off for me with this one that I don’t think I’m qualified to talk about (like the representation of her OCD in this book), but this book. Oof. This book can be a hard pass.

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Have you read any of these titles? Would you recommend them? 

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Happy reading!

[i-am-just-a-kiddo]

rules: create your own post and tag 9 people to get to know better or catch up with

thank you for tagging me in this, @vishcount, eventhough we catch up every day basically 💞 i am tagging @cortue, @sassyassassy and @the-cloud-whisperer! no pressure in answering these questions to such detail, just do however you feel like. (ED) i’m sorry i forgot to tag @intyalote because i wish to know you better too! 

my ramblings under the cut: 

last song listened to:  Change (Feat. GRAY) (Prod. 코드 쿤스트 CODE KUNST) by Kid Millie

code kunst is one of my absolute favourite musical artists and i always discover new projects he was part of. this one is my recent favourite, i’ve just been listening to it up and down the past few weeks so my youtube shuffle automatically plays this.

last movie watched: The Yin Yang Master (2021) 

just like vishie, this was the last movie i watched and i think overall it was very fun? i found it very cute and entertaining in its world-building, as well as the visual design. also chen kun as qingming truly.....hits differently, wow. so it was hard to keep my cool about him because somehow he is way too stunning in my eyes. i also enjoyed the found family trope? it was very sweet. but as vishie noted too, the movie did not leave much place for the characters to develop properly so it would have deserved more time in that department. i was not that attached to any of them because the movie focused more on the plot happening than the character driven story. also funny how the yin yang master: dream of eternity was a wonderful gay feast while this movie just pulled the no homo card lol

currently reading: When The Light Of The World Was Subdued, Our Songs Came Through, A Norton Anthology of Native Nations Poetry (Ed. Joy Harjo, Leanne Howe, Jennifer Elise Foerster and more) 

i wished for this book for christmas and finally received it a few weeks ago. the past two years i’ve mostly been reading poetry (if you leave out readings for university) and i really want to educate myself on native cultures and their past. i think this is an amazing book that has a long introduction about its creation and the choices made on how the poems should be assembled. i love how so many different voices across geography, time and ages gets presented and i am excited to read more. apart from that, i am just waiting for uni taking up all my reading space again.

currently craving: a cold beer? 

since yesterday the weather has been so incredibly lovely and spring-like, i just want to go sit outside in the park or by the river and have a beer with someone. might do that tomorrow? i am feeling the holiday vibes. (also i am hungry so i should probably cook soon hmm)

current project: uni and fic ideas (and a fishtank?)

for uni i will need to hold a presentation about materiality in viennese modern designs during 1880-1930. i have this ceramic vessel by dagobert peche as my topic and i’m excited to dive into it because i am not well-versed in viennese art in general? and from what i’ve seen from his designs he took a lot of inspiration from japanese ceramics and chinese brush paintings which fits me past studies. also the question of materiality has never been the biggest focus in my studies so i am curious what will come of it, especially since our course leader wants to get us into the exhibition and hold the presentation in front of the actual object, which i have never done before (thanks covid).

i have some fic ideas which i want to get into but right now they are more vague concepts - i’ve been doing some research on korea during the 1880s-1890s for some very loosely dorian gray inspired au, but let’s see if this will take any reasonable shape. i’m also thinking about more wen ning & song lan content and maybe, possibly, some wen kexing character study? let’s see. am slowly getting back to writing and i am lowkey proud. 

and yes, i want to get a fishtank in our flat. i am so ready to have one again and my flatmates agreed so there is nothing standing in my way

current mood: tired but content

i overslept my first alarm today so i had a very stressful morning (it usually takes ages for me to get out of bed) and i did most of my first lecture but then decided to ditch it to hang out with my flatmates which was the best decision tbh. i also skipped the second lecture to hang out with them and go on a walk later to enjoy sunshine? so i think this day was very much successful on the social part. i even had ice cream. 

current wish: for my writing to return from war

i’ve lamented about this for the past few months on here, but it truly is weighing down my heart a lot. i just miss writing okay. i know i shouldn’t be hard on myself and accept that i need a break too, because indeed - i can’t force it and there is no need in beating myself up. but it still hurts because there is always something missing. i think the past two weeks i have been feeling a little bit more ready to return to it? though i truly need to be understanding with myself if it doesn’t work as i want it to. 

currently learning: materiality, persian book art and queer theory

as mentioned above, i have one course about materiality in arts, crafts and designs, focused on 1880-1930 vienna. i am also attending a lecture about persian book art from the 14th century onwards, though i have taken so many lectures with this professor already, i feel like he is repeating himself so much? i hope i will learn something new at least, so far it feels like i’m hearing the topics for the third time. and then i have a lecture about queer theory which is exactly my crowd - the people, the professor and the discussions give me so much and bring all these topics that i think about in my free time into a theoretical and scientific realm? so it’s nice to study these things in a systematic way - as systematic as it’s possible with a topic such as queer theory. this lecture just makes me feel seen and also allows me to get a broader sense of understanding how these studies developed.

something that makes you proud: my niemo oneshot  and my social activities

last week i wrote a short snippet for nie huaisang/mo xuanyu and it was the first time i had written in ages? so i feel very proud of it. and something i have been proud of lately is that i manage to be socially active a lot without feeling like all my energy has been sucked out of me? i am genuinly having fun being with people - of course it exhausts me a lot and i take breaks, but all in all it truly got easier socialising ever since i started taking my meds. my anxiety levels aren’t as high as they used to be and it helps me appreciate the presence of other people in a completely new way. this allows me not to feel like i am running away when i take time for myself. 

if you’ve read all of this, thank you! this was a fun little something 

[punkscowardschampions]

Mattie & Lulu & Dolly (mostly)

PlanityPlan: Okay, so we wanna get down what Mattie, Lulu and Dolly are like, that’s the main point

PlanityPlan: but then we wanna pinpoint the time of this reunion for their storyline together, so we can then say what Jay is up to, Beckett not really ‘cos he’s a child but we could also say what we wanna do with you eventually here because we are planning to use him but yes, kind of unrelated but not

PlanityPlan: So it’s like, individual story, what they’re like, the lives they’re living, and then the storyline we’ll do with them together

PlanityPlan: OKAY so Mattie doing an accelerated 2-year Maths and Computer Science degree at Greenwich (57, 58) and then her PGCE which takes a year and in this year you do 2 school placements, 2nd placement at the girl's new school after gay teacher drama in Surval, so this 2nd meeting after first failed attempt at contact, in 59

PlanityPlan: Basically, energy being, making contact before starting Uni and the twins are like nah and then we show up at their new school (accidentally) and the twins relationship has suffered so now we have an in

PlanityPlan: OKAY OKAY so Mattie reaches out Summer 57, she's about to start Uni, the twins are 14 and just finished year 10, 58 teacher stuff to happen and come out year 11, 59 we move to new school year 12, Mattie starts placement too

Junie B Jones: The school I found for the twins is called Surval Montreux in Montreux Switzerland and they’d have been going there from age 12 (and leaving at 19) it’s obviously an international school but there’s a heavy focus on French in lessons as obviously because English is usually a 2nd language, but don’t even worry ladies cos there is only a maximum of 10 girls (cos it’s only gals) in your classes and 60 in the entire school

Junie B Jones: worth noting the finishing school bit from 17-19 cos your mother would love that for you and you can share a room no problem as it’s usually 2 or 3 anyways

PlanityPlan: So, do we be evil and say they have to share with another poor gal?

PlanityPlan: ‘cos we could run with that

Junie B Jones: that poor girl requesting a transfer cos they are so odd hahaha but yeah I say there’s potential there even if it was only for a while like maybe it’s lowkey a version of how they put me and Trace in separate classes cos the teachers are like UM

PlanityPlan: I see that, forcing you to stay involved, ‘cos with 60 people you’d have to be all up in each other’s business, like you’re for sure meant to see the teachers as friends/fam too

Junie B Jones: the website was very culty and that energy

PlanityPlan: which brings me to my first idea ‘cos I think it works on many levels beyond being a cliche

PlanityPlan: Okay so, I thought it’d be interesting to have a secret between them ‘cos how hard it’d be to keep

PlanityPlan: and then I thought that it’d be hilarious karma if Dolly had an affair with a female teacher but we actually let it go there

PlanityPlan: ‘cos it’d be a massive scandal even your parents can’t ignore and the girl gives off some gay vibes and it’d be like, a thing they can’t share in if Lulu isn’t gay like we share a boyfriend but we’re not sharing this teacher moment

PlanityPlan: and it’d probably get you both kicked out so we can time it when we want it and Chloe would be fuming about this lesbianism lmao

PlanityPlan: so with the whole culty school like this would be NEWS ‘cos they’re tight with the teachers clearly so it’s like ARE THEY ALL BEING GROOMED lmao

Junie B Jones: Lulu gives off the straightest vibes EVER so I am down & also the vibe that she would love that culty school

PlanityPlan: right so not only have you kept a love affair and gay from me, you’ve also ruined our school moment, it’d really shake them and their weird twin energy to it’s core, which is the fun of it all obvs

Junie B Jones: I see now why you agreed to share a boyfriend hun, also the potential for her to have a gay awakening with the roommate so hitting all those cliches

PlanityPlan: right, I’m not being gross but it’s true that all-girls school girls experiment together, facts, like Lulu probably joined it with it too but it’s like oh you actually like girls for real

PlanityPlan: but if Dolly isn’t just then living her best gay life and is trying to get shit back to how it was, I think it makes it different

Junie B Jones: the tea and also it seems like the kind of school where a teacher would go there, especially if it’s a younger/artsy one like that film Cracks that Imogen Poots was in, soz Nancy but most teachers won’t

PlanityPlan: it’s a cliche with posh schools for a reason, the bond is closer by the fact there’s not 30 kids in a classroom, there’s more opportunity for it to happen because you have actual relationships with all your teachers, whereas in normal schools they barely know your name lol

Junie B Jones: gross but necessary question being how long do you see the relationship spanning in secret before the big reveal

PlanityPlan: it should probably be somewhere between enough that it’s an actual thing that happened and not like, it happened once, like the teacher probably thinks they’re gonna be together if she doesn’t go to jail lol, but not so long that it is like, how’d you not know

PlanityPlan: it’ll be fun to like, play out, see how long we feasibly could

PlanityPlan: and if Lulu finds out before EVERYONE finds out, then she has to decide what to do with this info for a bit too, which would also be good

Junie B Jones: I love that because the twin vibe is very much like oh we can read each other’s minds haha bitch you thought

Junie B Jones: totally can picture Lulu snitching on you ngl gal

PlanityPlan: accidentally fucking yourself over when they kick the lot of yas out, a mood

PlanityPlan: NEW CO-ED SCHOOL IN SURREY, STILL BOARDING

PlanityPlan: maybe Lulu does care more about school in general, but also specifically that school and being one of the girls forever

PlanityPlan: ‘cos then it’s gonna be hard to win her back when you end up in another school, with boys dundundun

Junie B Jones: she very much comes across like that to me, not only because she’s clearly the clingy controlling twin here but I think she clearly likes how small and family like this school is trying to be cos of how chaotic and lacking their home life is, she’s definitely scared of boys & navigating socialising with them without making a tit of herself because of how little dealings she’s had so it’s gonna be a SHOCK

Junie B Jones: dobbing her sister in because 1. You think the teacher will get sacked and it’ll be over 2. You think you can score some points back and stay in the school’s good books

PlanityPlan: It’s honestly sad how much sense it makes, like you really buy all in with the family vibes and then ya twin fucks it all up, rude

Junie B Jones: okay idk how plausible this is but remember in Wild Child aka the greatest film of all time that boy is like the headteacher’s son, what if the boyfriend (Danny Griffin is his IRL name but I’ll give you a french af one in character boy) they share is like the son of someone who works at the school (obvs he doesn’t go there but like he’d have to live nearby and generally loiter) which is part of the reason Lulu picks him cos all the girls would want to but also she could tell him something about this and he’s like UM you have to dob her in

PlanityPlan: I see that, they can’t all be spinsters like this is an enid, they’d have families and stuff, I can vibe it because again, a thing if there’s any male in the vicinity we all lose our minds lol

Junie B Jones: and like obvs that’s why she got with him but there’s potential for an actual relationship to form with this boy on some level if we want

PlanityPlan: Yes, maybe you actually like him, because clearly Dolly doesn’t, have him to yourself hun, but also then you’ll have to move so rude

PlanityPlan: Another reason to be fuming when you were the clingy twin before, role reversal

Junie B Jones: and another reason to not want to leave because I can’t imagine that your parents will move you to another school in Switzerland because it’s tiny and the scandal so literally in a different country

PlanityPlan: yeah, we’d probably move you to the uk like we’re going to be more involved like doubt that lads but you know

Junie B Jones: my thoughts exactly

PlanityPlan: so the question is do we want to do this before Mattie gets in contact or after

PlanityPlan: I’m leaning towards before so then 1. You’ve got a chance of getting in but 2. You can also help or not help them get on better terms, whatever we vibe

Junie B Jones: maybe when she first gets in contact it’s a secret still so we get the best of the both worlds, cos like you’re gonna get stonewalled then hun but when it all pops off you can be there

Junie B Jones: just cos I’m thinking if it’s all happened by the time they’re 16 that’s slightly drama but then again we’ve done worse lol

PlanityPlan: That’s a good idea, it makes the most of it for sure

PlanityPlan: I’m not sure what the age of consent is but that might affect how in deep shit this teacher gets

Junie B Jones: it’d be a way to show how their dynamic and relationship changes from a POV that isn’t just their own

PlanityPlan: for sure and then we can have the outcome be not just down to their new school and their parentals

Junie B Jones: poor Mattie getting way more drama than she expected

Junie B Jones: are you having her go to a UK uni because obviously relevant because this isn’t getting resolved in a summer hol

PlanityPlan: I’m kind of vibing no uni, honestly

PlanityPlan: because a lot of gen 4 do go and it isn’t the only option

Junie B Jones: love that for her tbh

PlanityPlan: So yeah, you’ll be around for sure

Junie B Jones: do you have a job/career in mind yet?

PlanityPlan: not really, like I see you being a bit lost in that sense, which is fine because you’ve got a lot in other respects and you’re looked after, but it’s definitely a vibe of not knowing what you want to do, but not just doing uni ‘cos as most people in that situ do, so you probably have lots of random jobs

Junie B Jones: that’s legit cos loads of people don’t know what they wanna do but don’t have the luxury of taking time to figure it out but she does & lowkey it doesn’t matter if she never does cos like you said she’s fine in a lot of other ways

PlanityPlan: like I won’t let you be insufferable with it and not work and just bum about but you’re just striking me as work-driven, which a lot of characters are again, so I’m not mad

Junie B Jones: I like it

PlanityPlan: So it’s just working out what your actual main motivation is, which I think could be tied into getting in contact with this fam

PlanityPlan: as we’re saying Jay doesn’t really want to, so it’s a difference there

PlanityPlan: and it’ll be good to have it not a total failure if you do make something with the twins but we know you won’t with Chloe so there’s the struggle with that

Junie B Jones: it pleases me because the obvious and cliche thing to do would be to have Jay be the one trying to do this as she actually has memories of and issues with Chlo whereas Mattie is basically Ava’s child

PlanityPlan: and I don’t think it resembles like, Edie’s feelings about Drew and Caleb etc either, it’s not like I NEED you to be my mum because you biologically are

PlanityPlan: it’s just lowkey a curiosity like, people can’t just vanish from our lives like that, like what are they doing, ‘cos you know their main house is still in London too, like it’s just like, why shouldn’t I look into this

Junie B Jones: agreed, it’s not coming from a place of having a deficit, she’s happy and has everything she needs in that sense, so it makes sense for her to only gain from it

PlanityPlan: and it is naive but that is how I vibe her being in a not really annoying way lol, not a jaded character though

PlanityPlan: and it will be shit when Chloe is Chloe but it won’t destroy her or anything it’s just like oh god, what is wrong with her though

Junie B Jones: and that’ll strengthen her relationship with Jay because she doesn’t wanna talk about all of that and you’ll get why in a way that you can’t unless you experience the crazy that is Chloe for yourself

PlanityPlan: exactly, like that can be a source of strain between you when you’re first deciding to do this

PlanityPlan: and you’d give Chloe a few chances ‘cos like I said you aren’t looking for a mum so you’d be trying to lowkey work it out and being empathetic so she’d probably actually love that ‘cos she’s a narcissist so it’d be a bit dicey

PlanityPlan: suddenly wants to tell you every drama in her life like poor me

Junie B Jones: how real

PlanityPlan: ‘cos you can think you’re like objective and just putting the mystery together but you’re gonna get dragged in, clearly

PlanityPlan: especially combine this with the twin drama which you do genuinely care about

Junie B Jones: mhmm, Lulu is gonna drag you in gal, not like she can bring these emotions and drama to her new school when it’s a scandal and this is supposed to be a fresh start

PlanityPlan: which is what you were warned about/one of the reasons we left it ‘til you were grown but you’ll have to work this all out, which will be good

PlanityPlan: ‘cos you can’t be dealing with your younger sister’s drama instead of living your own life but clearly at a point here we are ‘cos bit lost

Junie B Jones: you’re so clever boo, this is such a good idea that flows

PlanityPlan: heheh, I think it makes sense if you’ve had such a chill upbringing and the twins have not that this chaos can take over your life and drag you in

PlanityPlan: I’d like to think we all get to a healthy place gals but we’ll see tbh

PlanityPlan: as for who Dolly is… I think she never bought into the school as hard, like it’s probably better than home, not that we’d know, but we’re not like omg this is IT

PlanityPlan: same with the boyfriend clearly, none of it is as real but the twin bond is so like may as well until the gay drama comes along

PlanityPlan: but then that’s lowkey over before it’s begun so then we go into overdrive of trying to win her back

Junie B Jones: which Lulu is not having sis

PlanityPlan: like in reality we should accept our truth and start working on separate personalities but we’re like no no

Junie B Jones: potential for how far aka too far she can try and take winning her back, like that creepy book energy

PlanityPlan: deffo, like we’ll have to think of ways but if we’re going all-in on this, there isn’t reason not to

PlanityPlan: ‘cos we don’t care about school or whatever mum and dad are saying or doing

Junie B Jones: not gonna kill you off gal but oh the possibilities for danger cos lbr your grandparents can’t stop you either clearly

PlanityPlan: bless them they’re alright people but obvs a bit useless for all this to happen lmao

Junie B Jones: hence I vibe that Lulu totally walks all over/ has them wrapped around her little finger like Chloe did but more subtly because she has no nuance

PlanityPlan: deffo, oh lads

Junie B Jones: which is a shame when they could literally give you the family energy you want without need for a creepy cult school but hey, you’ve been taught to treat them like that

PlanityPlan: exactly

PlanityPlan: they should’ve lowkey took you in but we’re too posh for that and you’ll probably be fine right lmao

Junie B Jones: at least Dolly can stay with them when her parents are literally hate criming her

PlanityPlan: sad that you won’t ‘cos getting back in that closet so hard like will you forgive me if I’m straight and we’re still the same

Junie B Jones: it’s really sad like this isn’t sustainable huns and shouldn’t have been allowed to be a thing for this long

PlanityPlan: at least Mattie does have fresh enough eyes to be like, respectfully, maybe let’s not do this

Junie B Jones: just like Lulu don’t haze your sister thank you

PlanityPlan: right, I think this gives us energy to go on for all y’all

PlanityPlan: *** so the energy now is she can get more drawn in because she's literally there living at the school too, and after the placement, she's getting a permanent position at the school, so we can actually work through this together and have relationships etc etc

[whatevenismyaestheticidk]

Things I’ve heard high schoolers say pt 2

Person 1: But air doesn’t splash Person 2: How do we know that, Im splashing the air right now.

Person: Prove me wrong. Prove fish can’t see air.

Person: I think you underestimate just how poor I am.

Person: I just invented a new thing. No Romo. Like no homo but with romance cause I’m lonely. Get it?

Person: So yah I burned my hair cooking ramen.

Person: Well I figured he wasn’t an adopted iguana.

Person: Say it. You know god is watching.

Person 1 upon heading the news of George Bush’s death: Wait he’s still alive? Person 2: No he’s dead that’s the point.

Person: I got it. *five second pause* no I don’t got it.

Person 1: My name is (name), but you can call me yours. Person 2: Okay nice to meet you yours.

Person: Don’t drink it all fool.

Person: Bruh you could literally turn in a gay fanfic and he’d give it an A.

Person: Bruh, what is this triangular accusation?

Person 1:It’s call physics. Person 2: Yah but I don’t take Physics hence they should not apply to me.

Person 1: Discreet. Person 2: No discr-yeet *dabs*

Person 1: Be impressed with my ability to bull shit. Person 2: I mean, it’s gotten you this far.

Person: Why do I feel like finals are lowkey Russian roulette? Like okay I made it through most of them but I still have a few pulls of the trigger to go and one of them might get me.

Person 1: Murder. Just do it. Person 2: I didn’t know that nike was sponsoring murder.

Person: How do mermaids reproduce if they’re just like conjoined legs?

Person 1: Frozen Yogurt Person 2: Fro yo Person 1: Frozen YOgUrt Person 2: Fro Yo Person 1: FROZEN YOGURT

Person: All I have to do to commit suicide is jump from my parents expectations to my grades.

Person 1: I mean yah I cheated on that test. Person 2: Man your love life it DOOMED!

Person: I was seeing if I was tripophobic by repeatedly stabbing my finger with my pen.

Person: You do know that crickets exist during the day right?

Person 1: Hey (person 2), we’re friends right? Person 2: ….. What do you want. Person 1: You know, that sandwich looks real good. *person 2 hand them the sandwich* OMIGOD THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU!

Person: Omigod (person’s name) is going through puberty!

Person: If you pulled my ear I would have ripped out your nostril.”

Person 1: She’s attacking me! Person 2: No, he’s beating a woman, that’s not polite.

Person 1: I know many things! Person 2: like what? Person 1: ..... Person 2: my point.

Person: My shoes will be sparkly red stilettos. Fight me Dorothy.

Person: umm hello Christmas miracle even though I’m not Christian. Come at me 15 years from now!

Person 1: you’d make a really good baldie Person 2: yah you have a really rest head shape

Person: you know teletubbies? Yah that but compressed.

Person 1: I mean how will you become American? Person 2: paint me white, I’ll get a passport.

Person 1: I’m so funny. Person 3: it’s hard not to be when your life is a joke.

Person 1: So I’ve decided that my new career choice is to make school specific memes Person 2: That's Plan A? Yeash... at least Plan B lands you some cash

Person: I’m so small and bitter I’m like a human expresso

Person: You know what I’d name a baby kangaroo if I had one? David Jowie.

Person: I’m just saying that the orange red glitter crayon is you.

Person: I feel like a 1940’s schoolgirl who goes to an all girl finishing school where embroidery is a required class.

Person: I started high school with straight A’s, now I’m not even straight.

Person: Yeah, I’d swear by comic sans.

Person: (Persons name)stop being depressy and you’ll be more sucessy

Person: You can totally be insecure and self absorbed at the same time.

Person 1: Are you kids okay? Person 2: Besides crippling depression yeah.

Person: I don’t know it’s just giving me pig vibes.

Person: What drugs where the animators for “Pink Elephants on Parade” on?

Person: long story short I make like a semi hot guy.

Person: If I where pregnant id just be like 'you put this thing inside of me, you're helping me until it's out.'

Person: These girls asked me what type of  guys I like and being the simple gay I am, I completely blanked

Person 1: why do you read on your phone if you get carsick at 20 minutes? Person 2:Because it works for the first 19 minutes.

Person: Three Indians, a Thai, a Colombian, and an American walk into a bar. Just kidding they aren't old enough to drink. Three Indians, a Thai, a Colombian, and an American walk into a school cafeteria...

Person: I can't do alcohol cause I'm not of age but I can do drugs because they're illegal for everyone.

Person 1: you can't have a breakdown, it's the third day of school. Person 2:... so?

*Group of kids singing Bohemian Rhapsody in twelve different keys* Person: For gods sake choose a key!

Person: For gods sake that was complicated. You didn't need to send out a survey to see which episode of which season of which show to watch.

Person: Honestly I'd chose stab over dab any day.

Person 1: She said she'd throw me out of the window. Person 2: She never did. Person 1: She never did.

Person: What language is this? *pause* Oh wait it's English.

Person 1: I mean it's pretty hit or miss. Person 2 from across the courtyard: I guess they never miss, huh?

Person: Chu-chu bitch. I’m a train.

Person after loosing game of kahoots: I’m going to ka-shoot myself.

Person: So basically I need to learn Hungarian for a song.

Person: No one screams their sneeze, its not human

Person: If I where a mosquito I would bite you and you’d get malaria and die.

Person: That tide pod aesthetic.

Person: No I loved Barney, Barney was my bo.

Person: If I where my own boyfriend I’d dump me.

Person: It's already a really good song but then it's dubstep so it's extra good.

Person: No one is EVER to old for coolmathgames.com

Person 1: Why are you using a poon? Person 2:….. Person 1: WHY ARE YOU USING A POON?!

Person 1: I’ve been blonde for 16 years. Person 2: So what? I’ve been brown for 16 years and you don’t see me coloring myself white!

Person: Yes. Scrape the sweat off my hand.

Person: No one cares about a square cube of water.

Person: We’re melanin intoxicated.

Person: Well my life may be a mess, but at least I’m not doing drugs. Yet.

Person: Negative 13 out of 10, do not recommend.

Person: Yah that’s gunna have to be a no from me.

Person: Fool me once......fool me twice.......fool me as many times as you want, my first name is dumbass.

Person 1: Ya know, I think the Americans have the order of dates right JUST BECAUSE you can do 4/20/2019. Person 2: Okay but they’re still wrong though.

Person with AirPods: And where are YOUR AirPods? Thats what I thought you broke bitches.

Person: Salem witch trials bitches.

Person: La Croix, the AirPods of the soda world.

Person: Who needs a thermometer when you have… your hands!?

Person 1: It’s time to bring back SEXY MASQUERADE BALLS Person 2: It really is. I need an excuse to wear an incredibly uncomfortable dress that's so big I can't even walk through doorways. Person 1: And to wear a swan inspired mask that doesn’t cover enough of my face to deem myself totally anonymous enough to be half as bold and daring as i plan on acting that night but everyone else is on board we’ll all just forget about it the next day. Person 2: That's to specific for you to have made up on the spot, you've thought about this.

Person: It was lady Macbeth that drugged and made the guards drunk, without her Macbeth would just be like “I guess I’ll stab him???” Person: It’s like playing where’s Waldo but the page is India and I’m Waldo.3Person: Why are there so many frowny faces everywhere?

Person: This group chat is weird. It's either homework, deep philosophical conversations, or memes, there's no in between.

Person 1: Honestly, where DID it come from Person 2: The endless abyss that is the internet.

Person: Are you really blaming our generational depression on Jake Paul?

Person 1:  Oh. My. God. Guys. Keep your carbon dioxide away from my computer. Person 2: But sharing is caring. Person 1: But my computer doesn’t need this kinda of negativity in its life right now.

Person: Sweetie, if you think I’m going to stop wearing my favorite dress just because you kissed me in it, you are dead wrong.

Person with a metal straw: I don't drink broke.

Person: My whole life has become that sock on the floor. It's just there. When did life screw us over and then just ex? I’m just gonna write a book, and the last sentence will be life screwed them over and then exed. A story of the main character who gets screwed over, so I can get that 'it be like that sometimes' reaction.

Person in group chat: Positivity- I will make you feel better about being an idiot. Self Doubt- I will highlight all of your mistakes and set low standards for you so you'll never be disappointed. Me to Self Doubt- I'm listening...

Person 1: Sadly the disappointment never goes away... Person 2: Man we're a sad lot this time of year.

Person 1:It’s almost my favorite time of the year Person 2:Ahh yes. Singles awareness day, also known as chocolate sales at Walgreens eve, also known as... Valentine's Day. Person 1:... Oh... I meant rainy season.

Person: Being antivax is like swimming in shark infested waters because you're afraid the bridge could break lmao.

Person: I learned how eat a kumquat this weekend.

Person: It’s so sticky. It’s like clear cheese.

Person: Hamburger helper? More like hamburger help me pass this class.

Person 1: So I slipped on a grape… Person 2: You got K.O.’ed by a grape (person’s name), how does it feel.

Person 1: Look at me, I’m fine. Person 2: Well how many drugs did you take. Person 1: Several.

Person 1: Did you just say it’s ALMOST FEBRUARY? Person 2: Yes, it’s January 72nd.

Person: I knew your comedic standards where low, but poop jokes? Really?

Person: What? So are you insinuating the fact that reliablest isn't a word?

Person 1: [bitter old man voice] back in my day, tik tok was a kesha song. Person 2: Back in my day we had wires attached to our AirPods.

Person: There's a reason rainbows aren't straight. Just saying.

Person reading sheet music and seeing mf crescendo: I forgot that mezzo forte was a thing for a second so I thought it said mother fucker as a crescendo but mood

Person: He looks like a fine piece of toasted white bread.

Person: If life hasn't given me a fist bump by now, why should I give life one?

Person: we all died in 2012 this is hell.

Person 1: Who wants a pamphlet on condoms? Person 2: Why do you have this? Do you collect them? Person 1: Yah it’s my hobby. I have this one, one on HIV and one on teenage pregnancy.

Person: We live a society where reading about assassins and gory details is a hobby.

Person: Stop breathing so loudly on my thumb!

Person 1: I’m the comic relief. Person 2: For what? Person 1: Myself.

Person1: Who’s your valentine this year? Person 2: Me, myself and I. Person 1: Wow three valentines, you really can’t keep them away can you?

Person: Why do women gotta get their period, why not men. I wish I was born a seahorse.

Person 1: No we can’t all fit, her car is smol. Like you. Person 2:  Says you miss 5 foot nothing lmao. Person 1: Hey we’re the same hight so says you miss 5 foot nothing.

Person: No, that’s cheating no emotionally disabling people.

Person 1: Why is it that we’re talking about someone burning eggs on two different group chats. Person 2: Hey I didn’t burn them. Person 3: Cause why not?

Person 1:  That’s not how an Australian accent works. Person 2: This is why I’m not Australian, I don’t have the koala-fications.

Person 1: I’m Indian, numbers run through my blood. Person 2: That’s like saying I’m going to marry my cousin just because I’m white.

Person: So I ate veggies and hummus for lunch but then I counterbalanced it by eating a spoon full of straight Nutella.

Person: Seagulls, California Pigeons, what’s the difference?

Person 1: I humbly apologize and request your forgiveness. Person 2:  I humbly decline your request for forgiveness.

Person: I think I’m permanently stuck somewhere between “If you mess with me I’ll fight” and “If you mess with me I’ll cry.”

Person 1: It was implied! Person 2: What’s implied is your inability to accept that fact that I’m right!

Person 1: I got lazy because I was eating Pringles. Person 2: She values Pringles more than me.

Person: Yo, you be the crazy ex girls they be talking about in memes.

Person: I swear (persons name) if I hooked up with squidward in your dream your subconscious and I need to have a little talk.

Person: You get to die, and you get to die! Everybody gets to die!

Person: How do you just add a child?

Person 1: Look at this ink based pencil. Person 2: A pen?
 Person 1: This egg is all broken. Person 2: It’s like you then, you both broke under the pressure.

Lakshmi: Don’t force your opinion, voice it.

Person 1: If I where a fruit, which one would I be? Person 2: Sushi. Person 1:… Sushi isn’t a fruit.

Person: I mean it’s not straight up “Yo come here I’m gunna kill you.”

Person: Bye gays, bye (other girls name).

Person 1: No (person B) stop. Just shut up. You’re making me loose brain cells. Person 2: But… Person 1: No. Just no.

Person: Stop. That is non-consensual pizza eating.

Person 1: Cheese is not a vegetable! Person 2: Well it’s not a meat either! Person 3: Guys… It’s dairy.

Person: Idiots have priority over just regular dumb people

Person: God melted the polar ice caps just to make it rain for Noah then refroze them. I don’t know (kids name) I’m not god!

Person: You and I will go out, and leave them to their raw fish rolled in sea salad.

Person: Does anyone else get really energized when they change their room? Just me? Okay.

Person: I hope you know I will diss you guys to the end of the earth.

Person: Bruh talk to (person’s name) I don’t know sh… *notices teacher looking at her*…niahhh.

Person 1: The thing is, I don’t want to be 80 that’s rough. Person 2: Then just die at 50.

Person: You’d be scrambled eggs with hair.

Person: Seeing you two fighting, it’s like seeing a piece of light fighting a black hole.

Teacher: What can you tell me about probability? Student 1: I hate it. Student 2: Dont you mean you? Student 1: Yes both.

Person: My brain has the dumb I’m sorry

Person 1: If my first word was no, I’m assuming that’s foreshadowing for them my family disowns me after I renounce religion and systemic abuse. Person 2: Or…. You just need to make sure your last word is yes. Person 1: Yes to what though? Person 2: ‘Are you dying?’ Yes.’ Pessimism, just your style. Person 1: That’s true.

Person: My parents don’t message me, they’re the type of people who CALL. Where did I get my social anxiety from??

Person: Well guys it's been great knowing you I’m just going to drown now.

Person: I figured out a new diet regime, it’s called sleeping until noon and just not eating breakfast.

Person: The f on my birth certificate was the doctor paying their respects.

Person: Chocolates with raspberry filling are the sole reason I’m still alive.

Person 1: Isn’t Latin a dead language? Person 2: You’re a dead language!

Person: Hydrate before you diedrate.

Person 1: you have a son named Spider-Man? Person 2:  what noooo! Person 3: well don’t expose her!

Person: That awkward moment when you just really don’t care about people.

Person 1: (Person 2) and I will be over here with my virgin margarita and her water. Person 2: Hey! I want apple juice! Person 3: Why are you not drinking (Person 1)? Person 2: Because she’s to single, and also she’d strip. Person 1: Woahh! How dare you assume that I’m not drinking because I’m to single?

Person 1: Ya know, I think I’m going to have to jazz hands my way through hell. Person 2: All of us will.

Person: Brown town children, y’all find someone in India?

Person 1: Wow you have the best backup singers. Person 2: I only hire the best, at least 5 stars in yelp. Person 1: Well good because that’s  the sound they’re making.

Person: The cold kills everything, it’s like my heart.

Person 1: Remember the rolls I brought to school last year that I used to give you? The ones with paneer and the really good spices? Person 2: Yah? Person 1: This is not at all the same thing.

Person 1: What’s stevia? Person 2: It’s like sugar but no.

Person 1: Yeetus Skelettus. Person 2: Fetus Deletes? Honey, that’s called abortion.

Person: Anything for you. That’s what you said. Anything for you. But when I ask for just one bite of your pasta? No!

Person 1: I've written 1,300 words and don’t have a thesis statement or topic question Person 2: Yeah, you need to figure that out.

Person 1: you know I had a dream that you where in a romantic relationship with a toaster. Person 2:  wasn’t that your relationship with (ex’s name)? Person 1: you’d have more chemistry with a toaster.

Person: Can people read colors? Cause I am ooo.

Person: It’s like hands but medusa

Person: You look like a cardboard jellyfish that’s brown

Person 1: Two of us like boys. Person 2: We all like boys. Person 1: Two of us like ONLY boys.

Person: you’re like a reverse plant. You convert oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Person: Shhhhh. I’m not in physics, let me be dumb in peace.

Person: Why are you laying down like some greek god, get up you brown child.

Person 1: Do all of you just think you’re going to be single? Person 2: I already am why not keep the streak going to get a high score?

Person: and now cracks of light are coming out from around the sides like some sort of computer Jesus!

People 1 and 2: Rock Paper Scissors Person 3: shoot me please.

Person 1: not since 9/11 you can’t. Person 2: dang. You just tossed your whole country just to prove a point. I’ve never been so proud.

Person 1: what is an angle of depression? Person 2: it’s my life. Person 1: no it’s you because it’s not straight.

Person: Boom. Lesbians.

Person 1: Well what if two rocks just washed up at the same time and humans. Person 2: Evolution.

Person: Watermelon isn’t good anymore, I swear its just water with food coloring.

Person: You being dumb makes me want to correct you, sos too being dumb cause I’m on vocal rest.

Person: well (persons name) who have you a mouth?

Person: Teachers that grade late work deserve all the love and cookies and cake in the world.

Person 1: honestly I just want to die right now. Person 2: same. Literally same.

Person: I just feel like a single molecule lost in space.

Person: who’s gunna stop me? God? Damn him to hell.

Person: the line is not actually straight it’s like (students name)

Person 1: It’s your favorite sleep deprived gay. Person 2: But I’m my favorite sleep deprived gay. Self love. Person 1: We Stan.

Person 1: Why do you have a tool? Person 2: Because my hair is moist.

Person: eating lead was an otherworldly experience

Person 1: I have everything stolen from me 2: at least you have the tiniest bit of dignity left 3: what dignity? 1: exactly

Person 1:( holding up katsup) does this go on salad?

Person:I’m turning red! Me! A brown girl!

Person: I’m not trying argue that we should date, I’m just saying.

Person 1: what’s your biggest turn on? Person2 : a light switch Person 2: or then leaving.

Person 1: what is the most attractive retire on someone Person 2: my own face

Person: you’d be that one bar do white chocolate that just sits in the feidge because no one wants it

Person: that’s like saying I’d rather see your shirt than your face.

Person: why would I shut up when I can shut (kids name) down

Person: Subtle. Gay. Vibes. I’m telling you.

Person: just watch me write my ee on all the reasons why nick caraway is gay. Just watch me.

Person: Why are you stereotyping. What if the body doesn’t want trucks, what if he wants to be a fairy.

Person: being ace is basically just eww no but like forever.

Person: Stop trying to science your way out of being wrong.

Person: even if you did ask me out I’d still say no so then you’d even be rejected by a trash can

Person 1: you can’t read cheese color. Person 2: yellow?

Person 1: Think about  it like you’re brown Person 2: She is brown Person 1: Then act like it

Person: You’re not an ugly frog, you’re a beautiful human being. Person: I am. Very very dumb. And also. Bisexual.

Person: I was thinking of something smart but then I forgot what it was.

Person: I want to skip the crush phase and just make out with someone.

Person 1: The only way to get into the Holland family is to marry in through Paddy. Person 2: (Person 1’s name) this isn’t the royal family.

Person: Omigod you looked like the human version of squid ward.

Person: I want to be smart. Where can I learn smart stuff?

Person: But plant the seed and smoke the weed and chop the cane.

Peeeson 1: that is the definition of meter? Person 2: about 3 feet. Person 1: okay thanks America

Person 1: who’s Tom Holland? Person 2: Spider-Man you uncultured swine!!

Person: I am not a children

Person: Ohh dang yeah forgot chickens existed for a while

Person: Hey! Don’t narrate my water!

Person: I don’t read water.

Person: Think of it as a relationship. If you and your ex break up they are salty but you profit because you wanted to end it but if you end it weak, then y’all will argue back and forth and get nowhere with ending it while still exchanging insults.

Person: You know those really sexual mattress adverts?

Person: Oh please, you have the sexual appeal of an easy bake oven.

Person 1: weed is a gate way drug Person 2: YOURE A GATEWAY DRUG!

Person: (first, middle, last name), I love you to the end of the earth. But you are a daft child.

Person 1: She’s like that type of girl. She’s the long paragraph white girl. Person 2: Well that’s a niche if I’ve even seen one.

Person 1: swing you two fight is like watching two ants fight. Person 2: you friking piece of bacteria!

Person: I’m just an intellectual.

Person: I will murder your face off.

Person: that’s like a kilometer tall.

Person: It’s weird when I pet you horizontally.

Person: to be honest I thought those were rocks in a jar for the longest time. Turns out they weren’t.

Person: does she have a brother or gay tendencies

Person: I’m going to slap your hand like it’s a fricking spider.

Person: I like your face better blurry.

Person: every night at about midnight someone starts googling astrology

Person: I will kick you. I will murder your soul.

Person 1: I’m just going to marry a millionaire. Person 2: Where are you gunna finds a millionaire in this economy?

Person: Welcome to my tea party, there isn’t any tea to drink, but we have a lot of it to spill.

Person: Yah, it was something about sex or something.

Person: You’re all uncultured swines.

Person: I’m about as straight as a sine curve.

Person 1: They’re not Oreo’s you dumb head Person 2: I know that dumber head. Person 3 :Shut up dumbest heads

Person: As an ex foetus i can say with authority that if my mother had aborted me i wouldn't have known nor would i have given a fuck

Person: I’ve just accepted I’m going to fail this test. I’ve gone through the 5 stages of grief already.

Person: Yes I’m blind that’s why I need glasses fool.

Person: what the fork do you want you little son of a biscuit.

Person: Anyway now I’m taking Tylenol PM and I’m going to actually sleep tonight that’ll be fun.

Person: I need all the hoodies. ALL OF THEM.

[rorybergstrom]

   hello, it’s swamp witch nora again…. hitting u with a longhaired n musical softboi who loves karl marx and hates children dying in cobalt mines to make smart phones. as is tradition, here’s the pinterest board, have a peruse x

GENDERQUEER / DEMI-BOY — ever hear people say RORY BERGSTRÖM looks a lot like TIMOTHEE CHALAMET? I think HE / THEY is about 23, so it doesn’t really work. The MUSIC TECHNOLOGY major is a JUNIOR that is from PECKHAM, SOUTH LONDON. They can be +ECCENTRIC, but they can also be -DOGMATIC. I think ROBERG might be SHEEP. They are living in MANON. ( nora. 23. gmt. she/her. )

aesthetics.

bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and djing into the blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars, marxist literature in stacks against your bedroom walls, a burner phone twice-shattered and a stash of replacement sim cards.

half-swedish, half-british. the swedish is on his mother’s side. he’s bilingual but thinks in english. only really speaks swedish around his mother. only child, and kinda put a lot of pressure on himself to be the Perfect Kid when he was young, but his parents are honestly, quite decent? and just want him to have a nice life, they don’t care if he isn’t successful or rich or anything, they’re honestly rather solid. (wow imagine having Nice Parents, a first for all my characters, im literally this meme)

grew up in peckham, a suburb of london. growing up, his mum was a model / actress / waitress who later retrained as a speech therapist and his dad worked in her majesty’s service at buckingham palace. his dad wasn’t allowed to tell his family what his job entailed but rory suspects it’s probably very boring and just involves a lot of…. logistics n security.

was bullied a lot at school. [cole sprouse voice] he didn’t fIT iN AND HE DIDN’T wANT TO fIT iN. unironically wore a trenchcoat to school every day of his life. spent most of his lunchtimes in the library because it was his Safe Space. as a result he knows…. loads of useless information because 30% of his school years were spent reading anthologies on space and the vikings etc. would be good on a game show. obsessively recorded every episode of university challenge as a child.

middle-class and lowkey quite wealthy but rarely talks about money, one of those well-off people who still wears really old shitty shoes and only spends money if they absolutely have to

virgin who can’t drive

into star wars, not into the big bang theory. feminist. can’t watch horror movies

favourite film is where the wild things are. also loves the florida project. thinks kids are the sweetest thing and can’t wait to be a dad to some

has been musical for as long as they can remember. first picked up guitar because he thought it would make this girl esther who he was in love with like him, but he just ended up falling in love with music instead.

formulated several different bands as a kid but ultimately had to give it up cos he was quite controlling and got fixated on making a certain sound so it wasn’t really fun for the others. got into electronic music because it was something he could do basically on his own and keep tweaking until he got it perfect

always drumming their fingers or strumming invisible guitar strings. tends to avoid parties bc he has quite has specific tastes when it comes to music and doesn’t like listening to r&b for eight hours while people throw up into plastic cups.

a techno connoisseur. has been making electronic music since he was about twelve.

after his parents divorce, when he was fourteen, rory & his mother moved to run-down suburban neighbourhood, pittsfield, massachussets.

big into photography. he mostly uses a canon 35mm camera, but occasionally uses disposable ones when he wants that more rustic feel.

moving to the states, their photography became more focused on suburban neighborhoods and are often quite dark and cinematic (think gregory crewsden). here are some shots of pittsfield i really like which rory has on his wall [1] [2] [3]

falls in love 12 times a day. never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. gets sweaty when someone cute looks at him. flirting?? what?? would prefer to idealise them from a distance

gender??? hm. doesn’t really know where they fit yet, sometimes he feels like a guy and sometimes they doesn’t feel like anything at all. isn’t really bothered, cos they think it’s a social construct anyway. uses he/they pronouns interchangeably, but feels like ‘he’ is more fitting. won’t necessarily pull anyone up on it cos he knows having an identity that’s constantly…. in flux.. can be annoying for others … and doesn’t want to be a burden EVEN THO it isn’t at all?? rory internalises guilt

everything is socially constructed. mirrors let you move through time. the whole thing’s a metaphor. he thinks he’s got free will but really he’s trapped in a maze. in a system. all he can do is consume. people think it’s a happy game. it’s not a happy game — it’s a fucking nightmare world, and the worst thing is, it’s real and we live in it

has ocd. tries to let it affect his life as little as possible, but obviously it’s incredibly hard to control a compulsive disorder. was teased for it at school when other kids started to notice. he was obsessed with the number five, would wash his hands five times, count stairs i groups of five, he could only use the corridors in one direction and always had to keep his hands busy. it manifests itself in hyper-fixations (trains when he was a child – specifically steam engines – then later he became obsessed with space and the patterns of constellations, and now he’s obsessed with synthesizers) and repetitive behaviours like counting stairs. doesn’t really affect his social life at all, he can jst get a bit locked-on n hyper-focused sometimes.

has insomnia. barely ever sleeps. finds it hard to switch off from work / writing / gaming / whatever’s preoccupying him in that moment. he’s always awake at 5am and quite often sleeps in through classes but still gets really good grades because he’s very good at his course. rarely attends classes. prefers to work independently. doesn’t really trust his tutors are intelligent enough to be teaching him, and is particularly suspcious of the gifford tutors. a music snob tbh

secretly a small-scale drug dealer, only does weed n some party pills. rollerskates around campus dealing cos they dnt have a car

long haired, aesthetic is like… timmy in lady bird n beautiful boy

aesthetics: bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and drumming into blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, watching vine compilations until your eyes turn square, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars

likes: techno, the webpage cats on synthesizers in space, allen ginsberg, vintage gramophones,  floating points, lcd soundsystem, marijuana, soft dogs that let you pet them, late-night strolls talking about the universe, independent films, cigarettes, herbal tea, gallows humour, long showers, brown eyes, tchaikovsky, dr. seuss, constellations, photography, late night jazz, vintage game boys and girls who could rip his still-beating heart out of his chest and use it as an ashtray. dislikes:  weddings, funerals, formality, button-up shirts that people actually button-up, bananas, hot coffee, social media, people who watch and play sports, rap music – especially of the misogynistic variety, indie wankers in wire-framed glasses that play ed sheeran songs at open mic nights.

plot ! with ! me ! i’d say all the usual “exes fwb hookups spiel” but rory… has never hooked up with anyone… i feel like a deer in the headlights of love……. so give me

study buddies,

people who are also into techno and are music snobs about it,

people who love all kinds of music,

people who are in bands that maybe rory’s recorded and produced stuff for,

people he actually jams with (he plays bass and synth),

unrequited crushes!!

someone they met at a knitting club in freshman year and have remained friends with despite no longer going to it

people rory knows from open mic nights and gigs

library girlfriends / boyfriends that he stares at longingly while paging through leatherbound volumes

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

people he deals weed to on his rollerskates (why r all my characters obsessed with rollerskates)

skaters. rory is really shit at skateboarding. like really shit. help the smol

[platitvdes]

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: edward michael kaspbrak

NICKNAME(S): eddie, eds, spaghetti head, eddie spaghetti, spagheds, etc. by the losers/party. also wheezy, “sissy little queer boy,” and uh a bunch of other… more aggressive things by non–partylosers according to the book thanks a lot steve (king, not harrington)

AGE: eighteen

DATE OF BIRTH: september 3, 1976

HOMETOWN: derry, maine

CURRENT LOCATION: derry, maine

ETHNICITY: he white

NATIONALITY: americano

GENDER: cis male

PRONOUNS: he/him/his

ORIENTATION: het thanks!!!!! just kidding he’s a homoromantic homosexual

RELIGION: a good christian boiy. he was raised methodist. what is he really? who knows. fighting a giant clown monster demon thing makes you really question a lot about religion and he’s not willing to go too deep into it

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: left-leaning, but very moderately so, mostly influenced by his friends and also by the fact that maine has been a blue state pretty much for the entire time he’s been old enough to think about these things. his mom’s a democrat solely because she lives off the welfare system ( and because she finds bill clinton incredibly charming and charismatic ); otherwise she’d definitely be a republican

OCCUPATION: student, a sad small gay

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: he lives with his momma in a very toxic environment also his mom is lowkey a hoarder it’s not so bad that he’s embarrassed to invite people over but like she’s a hoarder

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english and…. english

ACCENT: um idk a maine accent

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: timothée chalamet

HAIR COLOUR: dark brown

EYE COLOUR: hazel—sometimes more green, sometimes more brown, sometimes more weirdly gold-ish; depends on the day and lighting

HEIGHT: five feet, eight inches.

WEIGHT: one-hundred twenty-two pounds.

BUILD: skinny af and long-limbed ( for his stature ). not crazy short anymore, but still below average height

TATTOOS: LMAO

PIERCINGS: y’all. pls

CLOTHING STYLE: from my head canons, bc i’m too lazy to rewrite it: eddie often looks like he’s stepped out of the pages of a ralph lauren catalogue not because he is stylish or fashionable at all—he isn’t—but because he wears a lot of polos and shorts, though he doesn’t fill them out nearly as well as the ralph lauren models do. Especially pastel polos. he also frequently wears your good ol’ graphic tee and jeans combo, because you can’t go wrong there, right?

USUAL EXPRESSION: concerned tbh

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS: slightly doe-eyed, extremely doe-bodied, a preppy haircut, an inhaler in hand, and also he’s probably getting squeaky-voiced about something and/or visibly shaking. like a chihuahua.

HEALTH

PHYSICAL AILMENTS: technically? none

NEUROLOGICAL CONDITIONS: LORDY okay so the number one most important one is munchausen syndrome and hypochondria courtesy of being the proxy of his mom’s munchausen by proxy; severe anxiety (including generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and social anxiety disorder); clinical depression; and, finally, i believe the medical term for it is “FOMO"

ALLERGIES: supposedly pollen, animal dander, insect bites/stings, dust, latex, mold, wool, and, like, a bunch of other shit. he does actually have some allergies, especially to pollen/animal dander/dust, that aren’t super severe and therefore don’t necessarily present typical allergy symptoms and contribute to his constant feelings of general illness and malaise that heighten the aforementioned hypochondria. he also is actually allergic to latex. womp womp

SLEEPING HABITS: not the best but not the worst—eddie falls asleep early enough and wakes early enough, especially when left to his own devices, but he’ll often stay up later just to be in the group chat because of the aforementioned FOMO and also because richie will usually show up at his house and they’ll just talk for a while. but even then tbh he has a hard time staying up later than like 1 or 2, and even on the weekends he’ll wake up pretty early. so……… all this adds up to having ambitions of getting a good amount of sleep, not getting Terrible amounts of sleep, but also not getting Enough sleep.

EATING HABITS: you would think he would have some special diet and maybe in 2018 he would be raised eating nothing but kale and granola and gluten free shit but bitch it’s 1994 eddie eats hella processed foods

EXERCISE HABITS: that’s cute idk he gets exercise from running from bullies and riding his bike w his friends although they don’t do that as much anymore now that people have cars

EMOTIONAL STABILITY: 1 probably eddie is always on the verge of a nervous breakdown. in actuality he’s probably around a 7, which is much higher than you might think; as much as he is indeed constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown, he’s done a pretty good job of pushing down literally everything into a well so deep that most people, including himself, can’t really tell what’s wrong or what’s going on, and it’s been that way for a long, long time. or anyway, repression is the only version of emotional stability he’s learned to manage and maintain, which probably doesn’t actually count as very stable, so who knows, maybe he’s a 3.

SOCIABILITY: not as introverted as one might think; he’s definitely an introvert and needs some time alone to recharge, but in general, he prefers being around his friends to not being around them and will go out of his way to be with the people he’s closest to

BODY TEMPERATURE: runs cold, typically, which also means he gets cold easily, which sucks when you live in fucking maine

ADDICTIONS: none

DRUG USE: a seasoned pill popper of all kinds of vitamins and various placebos. he’s also on like 35 different mental health related medications. i know this isn’t what you were looking for but this is eddie kaspbrak

ALCOHOL USE: fam, come on

PERSONALITY

LABEL: “the little nervous one,” according to me upon my first watch of IT (2017); the crepehanger

POSITIVE TRAITS: loyal, feisty, energetic, brave

NEGATIVE TRAITS: defeatist, anxious, rambling, hypocritical

GOALS/DESIRES: to overcome his biggest fears, mainly—which means to be able to leave derry ( and his mother ) behind; to accept that he is not some sickly boy in need of protecting; to feel comfortable in his own skin.

FEARS: disease, death, abandonment, intense feelings of any kind honestly, his sexuality, exposure of said sexuality, change, his mom, disappointing his mom, independence, failure

HOBBIES: comics, movies, spending fucking HOURS reading medical websites and learning that all roads lead to cancer, hanging out with The Gang™, annoying his friends, lecturing his friends, sneaking out of his house, super mario bros, is candy a hobby? it is now, not dungeons and dragons ‘cause he’s not a fuckin nerd

HABITS: nail biting, compulsive timekeeping, pencil chewing tbh but only at Home, ice chewing also…..it’s super bad for your teeth but man does he love it……., assuming death lurks around every corner and shouting at everyone else about it

FAVOURITES

WEATHER: he likes a sunny day in weather that is slightly crisp, like late september, bc he has seasonal allergies

COLOUR: blu. particularly a good royal blue. sometimes sky blue if he’s feeling festive

MUSIC: pop music mostly…………. he loves a diva. he is a Loud whitney houston stan but he keeps his madonna love much closer to the vest

MOVIES: comedies definitely. he doesn’t care much for movies that are like, cinematically renowned and artsy or whatever. he’s here for something stupid that’ll make him laugh. he really likes dumb and dumber, embarrassingly enough. he also loves bill & ted. it’s his favorite movie. good ol wholesome fun, there.

SPORT: tennis obviously

BEVERAGE: an arnold palmer he’s really wildin out here

FOOD: honestly? a fuckin ice cream sundae

ANIMAL: penguins they’re gay and they mate for life

FAMILY

FATHER: frank kaspbrak. he died of cancer when eddie was a wee bab ( he was five so not actually a wee bab, but wee enough )

MOTHER: sonia kaspbrak, a devil woman

SIBLING(S): none

PET(S): he had a goldfish named arnold once that’s it

FAMILY’S FINANCIAL STATUS: lower middle class. his mom doesn’t work and lives solely off disability checks and the like, but they never seem to be for lack of money for eddie’s extensive medical care or, like, food or shelter.

EXTRA

ZODIAC SIGN: virgo binch

MBTI: ISFJ ( the defender )

ENNEAGRAM: type 6 ( the loyalist ), but actually he’s a type 6 with a type 5 wing that’s almost balanced, which, hilariously, is also called the defender

TEMPERAMENT: melancholic

HOGWARTS HOUSE: GRYFFINDOR FIGHT ME

MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful good

PRIMARY VICE: envy

PRIMARY VIRTUE: charity

ELEMENT: earth

[inappropriatefangirlneeds]

Gotham s4ep11 “Queen Takes Knight” Personal Review

“Killing you would have been a kindness” Warning spoilers below

* Okay this episode was so good, it had me running a couple full circles especially on the matter of the FALCONE FAMILY FEUD. I lowkey spoilered myself about who it will / might be that dies and I was getting nostalgic, I did not want Carmine to die, he´s after all a good character. As soon as Carmine had summoned SOFIA FALCONE I went from naaah don´t kill off Carmine (don´t make this another he´s dying anyway thing) to Fucking Hell Sofia Fucking end this Asshole. * Carmine scolding Sofia for sleeping with Jim because of Mario was so insufferable to watch. Can we just retire that trope of fathers having any say in their daughter’s romances?! Also if the fandom can come up with the thought of her just and merely using Jim Mr. former mob boss should be able to construct that theory as well which would have saved us from an insufferable judgmental moment. * Sofia´s line nailed what crap appeared to be happening: “Another day, another man sending me out of Gotham.” “We're both just trying to keep you alive. Tell yourselves that. But what I know is that neither of you believed in me. It could've been so different.” Then she even kissed Jim Gordon before leaving which on the one hand was a very satisfying “FuckYouYouFuckingFuck” to her father but also felt so wrong and awful because it appeared that was the only thing left to do for her to show some agency both against her father controlling her and against Jim getting the upper hand. Ugly moment. But then, I don´t know how they did it, I did not straight up believe it was Sofia responsible for the shooting but I was suspicious. Could it have been her? It´s possible, just alone the way how she delayed the departure .. on the other hand the blooddrop from the rose thorn was not necessary maybe that was just a scene for dramatics not plot relevant .. but then again if she indeed is responsible for Pyg this would make a wonderful parallel: Her getting shot there and her hand getting stabbed at the table..  Great scene. Also now that we know: Take this old man! You raised someone as ruthless and nasty as yourself! Maybe even a tad bit more. 

* SOFIA & OSWALD I feel a bit confirmed about this: The moment when Oswald was talking about their parents and taunting her seemed to be pretty important to me. I really had a feeling of uhoh you fucked up when she reacted to it, I don´t know if I´m interpreting too much into this but I could imagine that Oswald wasn´t so much boasting as gauging her, and he learned something about her from her reaction, something that bothers her, something that might be used against her .. The way SOFIA FALCONE reacted that night told OSWALD COBBLEPOT that she wanted and was struggling for Carmine´s approval, the way she reacted told him that she did not have his approval, which made it a quite good call to contact Carmine behind her back. What a shame that it did not work out.  Also what an irony that Oswald “people that underestimate me die” Cobblepot is right here underestimating the ferocity and resolve of Sofia.   *“And if he would have shown one iota of appreciation for everything I have done for this family, for him, he would be alive.” APPRECIATION: Sofia Falcone never got it from her family while half the city bows before her just because of her name. Oswald Cobblepot got it from his parents while half the city laughs at him and calls him names. * SOFIA FALCONE & JIM GORDON “My father had his moment of truth. This is yours. How many cops died under the Pax Penguina? Not one. It was you who couldn't stomach it. It was you who came to the Falcones for help. There is a direct line from your decision to a dozen police officers who have been brutally murdered.” “You're insane. Why not just kill me?” “Because, Jim, I need you at the head of the GCPD. I need Someone you can control.” “You've been planning this since the day we first met. This isn't about Gotham. This is revenge for me killing Mario.” ”You want to arrest me, arrest me. But I will talk.  And the cops that died, the friend that you betrayed, will all have been for nothing. The GCPD will crumble. Penguin, or someone worse, will take over, and you will lose Gotham forever. Or take on the sin as your own. Keep the GCPD, let them think you're a hero, but live knowing who you are, what you've done. That is my revenge.” Oh *sigh that crap logic again. I´m all for calling Jim out on his issues but this would have so much more impact if that blame did not come from someone actually being at fault. It´s not like Jim forced Sofia to do any of this. I mean if I buy a kitchen knife and someone takes it and murders someone then that’s as much a direct line but I really would not take the blame for that murder. Sofia makes her own decisions.   * HARVEY BULLOCK & JIM GORDON   Harvey would be much more suited than Sofia to call out Jim, although he´s again stepped into shady territory with suggesting Jim to utilize a war.    He is still enabling Jim´s recklessness. Despite having lost faith in their personal connection he is still there to back up Jim thinking he´s on top of things and can just do what he deems best. “Get him to do something you can really bust him for. And then yank his ass off the street once and for all.” “You're saying start a war.” “I'm saying get him to start one. You know he's gonna come for her. I don't give a tinker's damn about Sofia. The way I see it, everything that's happened, down to Don Falcone lying in that box, comes from you deciding months ago to go after Penguin. This is all on you. So finish what you started.” Both Jim and Sofia are saying the same thing in some way. Jim should face what he did and draw the consequences, just not exactly the responsible ones. Harvey says he already got his hands dirty now he should put them to good use to and get rid of everything. Sofia illustrates how Jim´s shortcomings have led to more blood on his hands then he bargained for and threatens that this can become even more, it´s there but he better not let it become more. The last scene with Harvey hurts even more in the context of the Pyg case:  “So everything turned out well. You didn't even need me.. They, uh they believe in you. Don't let 'em down.” HARVEY BULLOCK hands in badge and weapon thinking he is not needed anymore, probably still being eaten up by guilt that Pyg got him tricked to shoot at another officer. That´s a stark contrast to the episode trying to tell us that Jim Gordon is the one to blame for all the deaths cause by the Pyg. * JIM GORDON or how I stopped worrying and learned to love the LAW It´s a comedy, a travesty , it´s glorious. Harvey Bullock is the person to enable Jim to go on with some questionable things. Risk a war. Play gangster against gangster. Actively pit them against each other.  Jim verbally rejects being “used” by the mob  first “I can't allow her to turn the GCPD into her own private army. We've come too far.  This has to be by the book.”  but then goes on to act against the book again. Him preaching “The law is the law” at the GCDP is quite the moment. On a side note: Sofia Falcone seemingly coming up with a more lawful solution to Jim´s issue  (“So you're baiting him into committing a public atrocity.”) while actively withholding information of her own criminal involvement in the situation .. is this even irony anymore?  Despite the rousing speeches in the precinct, in the Jim Gordon department crime and crime fighting are more entangled than ever. * “Nobody has to die. We only want Cobblepot.” Jim Gordon coming for Oswald like Zsasz was coming for Jim Gordon that long ago day was beautiful though * Also on the risk of sounding like a broken record, what about that wealthy Gothamite that Oswald killed in front of witnesses. * “I like to call it Operation Save Bruce Wayne.” Everything is pain and all hurts. BRUCE WAYNE is running away from everything. Parties help him to not think about things. When running is not enough because ALFRED PENNYWORTH comes after him to dump those issues on him (again) he pushes him away, instead of going travelling into misery land with him. Alfred is fired. And while Alfred is absolutely right with this not being a solution at all Bruce has a few points when he states that he is not what Alfred thought he was, what his parents wanted him to be. This was a really whole lot that was expected from him and I can´t really blame Bruce that he wants to cast away that weight. “All you're offering me is pain.” “Well, there is no life without pain. There's no love, there's no joy.” “I don't know about that. I'm having a fair amount of joy.”  “You're bloody miserable is what you are, mate. I can see it.” “Alfred, I know you care about me. But I'm asking you to stop what you're doing. I'm not who you thought I was. I'm not who my parents might've wanted me to be, and I'm okay with that! But I'm not okay with it.” Oh shut up Alfred, I don´t wanna hear that either. Bruce.. pass the booze, will ya. * Edward is not in control. His mirror is talking back again.  * The Grundy moment was awesome:  “Ed angry at Ed?” “That is surprisingly perceptive.” * Are they going to mirror TABITHA GALAVAN and LESLIE THOMPKINS. Leslie told EDWARD NYGMA she is not  looking for a remedy because he is actually fine but she did not tell him so because she is afraid he will change back and she likes the current Edward. Edward regaining memory / mental capacity is nothing she wants and she is treating him with kindness. While Tabitha wants Butch Gilzean to get his memory back, she believes violence is the answer for this. This is remarkably uncreative but well. It seems it worked. (Ugh, I don´t even want Butch back) 

>>> So everything is about Parents, control, trust and identity?   Bruce Wayne breaks loose from Alfred Pennyworth. Sofia Falcone kills her father Carmine. While Sofia knows her identity, which is tied to her family name and embraces it Bruce Wayne rejects the identity that he inherited from his family.  Edward voices the theme of loss of control. Penguin as well as Carmine get taken away all their influence. Jim as well. Jim moreover gets a few moments to decide who he wants to be.  The Sirens bargain has paid off for now, Sofia kept her word..... >>> This episode is a medieval nightmare!  EDIT: Omg it even is in the title .. that´s not just about chess .. The church scene has everything the church scene with Kriemhild wearing Brunhilds belt has. Noble peoples interaction was so much about gazes and gestures and there is so much of this wordless communication in that scene.  They could have even toned the dialogue down and it would have had the same effect. Victor getting up once he is in the line of sight of Sofia Falcone tells everything everyone needs to know. We don´t need Oswald screaming after him when he walks past him instead of returning back to his side. This is a slap in his face in public. This is as a severe gesture as one can make. * Moreover medieval is how Victor kneeled for royalty. “End of the day, he's a Cobblepot. You're a Falcone.”  * Then all those highly symbolic details. Victor putting a bullet to rest with Carmine is such a strong visual and so was the rose scene. While Percival gets an epiphany from the blooddrop in the snow Sofia seems to be mystified. Her delaying the departure was her sticking to her plan the blood on her finger seems to be a diversion from this,  maybe it should have illustrated how she´s hurting herself with hurting her family. Could it say anything that it is her mothers roses that drew the blood?  * Some things felt a bit dream like as well, not as much as Jim´s first visit in the south or Leslie first leaving town but Zsasz turning on Oswald “What's to tell? You blew that kid sky high.” Was an almost nightmareish turn of events * Also just all this grave dialog: “Blood will run, Jim. Mark my words! Blood will run!”  “Killing you would have been a kindness. You've no idea what you've brought to your city. I imagine when you find out the truth, it will destroy you. That's a comfort”  ”The sun never shines here” * Jim take that trench coat and put it back to where you found it and keep it there. Or better burn it. Burn that thing. * Alfred .. that blue vest & those golden sleeve garters .. never take them off again honey. * Harper is awesome! * ”Yay Teamwork” Okay that was good. If only that weren´t just a gimmick slogan and they would have built a good story around the Sirens working together. * Yay for having Barbara at least somehow acknowledging that Carmine hasn’t been nice to her.  * “He will with me” Carmine telling Jim that Oswald loves respects him more was such a burn. I guess Penguin´s daddy kink is a tad bit more severe than his uniform kink ..    * “Well, every cop in Gotham is behind him. I'm guessing he has great leadership skills.” Zsasz showing his soft spot for Gordon again. Also his damn face while doing so!  * I liked VICTOR ZSASZ  better when he just mostly did what he has been told. So when´s he and Sofia gonna break up? The way he kneeled for her I can´t imagine him snatching food from a plate in front of her, but I want him to do stuff like that again.  Also I´m just gonna lean out of the window super far. I know it´s quite impossible the way they shot it but can Zsasz just be still with Oswald & Martin. That would be sweet. * Is Mr. Penn okay ? What did Tabitha do? “Jim, not now”   uh why does it work for him I keep saying that but issues don’t just walk away like that, Victor teach me how to do that!

[writers-leir]

highschool!jeonghan

so i finally did this,,,,,,,,,,,,my first officiall writing post!!! hahaha this is so exciting

enjoy!!!!!!!!!!

highschool!tutor!jeonghan where he’s not really your tutor but instead you,,,,,compete?????

so basically your school has this thing where instead of doing sports you can tutor

unfortunately it’s only available when you reach junior year

so you only get two years to complete what others have four years to

so most people just do sports

but you

unfortunately you suck at sports

in freshmen year when you were required to take phys ed

you ended up tripping while dribbling a basketball

and it ended with you in the nurse’s office with a broken nose

so you tend to stay away from sports

and when you enter junior year you!!!!!!!! are so excited!!!!!!!!

because throughout the years you’ve taken plenty of high level courses

and excelled in all of them

so you’re super confident you’re going to have your hours done in no time

but a week into tutoring all of the people you tutor drop out?????/??/

and they start????? getting tutored???? by yoon jeonghan?????? resident angel boy?????????????????

and if you’re honest to yourself you’re not even frustrated just confused????? and maybe a little bit hurt

like you ask them if you were a bad tutor and they deny it and just say that it’s personal reasons but you just???????? don’t seem to understand????????????????

you end up asking ////////begging///////// your friends xu minghao and jeon wonwoo to let you tutor them even though they’ve got top notch grades too

you’re just that desperate to finish your hours because minghao is in the dance team and wonwoo was dragged into basketball by mingyu

and you three end up just talking about anything bUT studies

some days you’ll have some really cool facts you read on the internet or saw on the tv but it’s limited to pretty much just that

but then soon enough the competitions start to draw near

and both minghao and wonwoo are suddenly too busy to help you

they try they really do

and most of the times it ends with you at their practice “tutoring” them during their breaks

and then as if answered by the gods!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your best friend begs you to tutor them for a few weeks before the biggest test of their life (they exaggerated a lil’ bit)

you’re lowkey suspicious they’ll leave you one week into tutoring too

bUT no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they’re loyal and they stay with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you honestly love tutoring them because!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re your best friend!!!!!!!!!!!! and you’re helping them with the subject you love the most!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it’s a win-win situation in your opinion

and your friend is also learning loads!!!!!!

you two typically occupy the small table near the back of the library

away from jeonghan and the huge group which requires like,,,,,,,,,,three tables,,,,,

thankfully they’re not loud so you two can study in peace!!!!!!!

and you think he never notices you so you sneak glances at him every once in a while

and you have to admit,,,,,,,,,he does look like an angel,,,,,,,,,

and you notice that he seems to be an extremely good tutor,,,,,,he’s calm and always has a smile on his face

and as you continue to sneak glances your friend starts to notice

and they’re like !!!!!!!!!!!! you!!!!!!!!!!!!! have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a crush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and you’re like aksdjghjklSGDakjsdhg dON’t talk nonsense and finish your work!!!!!!!!!

and you take one last glance at him before turning back to make sure your friend understood the reasoning behind everything you just taught them

and you think he doesn’t notice you but!!!!!!!!!!!!! he does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and he thinks you’re the cUtest person ever ok

he notices how gentle you are with your friend

and how you always point out their mistakes before it gets too far

and even when you were just hanging out with wonwoo and minghao doing nothing he’d notice the way your eyes would sparkle when wonwoo told a joke or when minghao told you something funny that happened to jun that day

and if he was to be honest he might have been a LIttle jealous of how close wonwoo and minghao seemed with you

he’s just had this not so tiny crush on you ever since freshmen year when you tripped in gym class and broke your nose

and he found the way your eyes crinkled in pain super endearing

he was going to help you up when resident gentleman hong jisoo beat him to it

and he was so salty about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he held a grudge against jisoo for months

“jeonghan are you still holding that grudge”

“i don’t know are you still a gentleman”

“jeonghan that doesn’t even make sense”

honestly his friends still tease him about it

especially minghao and wonwoo

bUT ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

back to the topic on hand

he honestly just wants you to notice him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he even bribed all the people you were tutoring to go to him instead

just so he could get your attention

but it seems he failed again

and your best friend just so happens to know that your main cause of stress is jeonghan

so one day while you were on a bathroom break (while also going to the cafe nearby to grab your friend coffee because they demanded “hand-made artisan” coffee)

they made their way over to jeonghan’s table

which just so happened to be occupied by only him and a few of his friends

namely chan (who broke his leg so he’s been kicked off the roster for the dance competition), seungcheol (who managed to finish all his hours within the first yEAR like WHAT) and ironically enough, jisoo (who aLso managed to finish all his hours and is currently vice president  of the student council aND somehow manages to be in three other clubs EXcluding the school choir)

and your friend just kind of slams their hand on the table/??

which startles chan out of his chair

and knocks jisoo’s books over

and the group just stares at your friend in shock and confusion

and your friend points at jeonghan and goes yOU!!!!!!!!!! and he points at himself like me??????????

and your friend nods and seungcheol jisoo and chan kind of slide down their chairs at the intensity of your friend’s stare

and then they just go “give y/n some people!!!!! you have too many you probably already finished your hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

and jisoo turns to him with a really suspicious face

“i thought you finished your hours last year with table tennis???”

and jeonghan turns rED and starts stumbling over words while seungcheol and jisoo have this little smirk on their faces like they kNOW

and your friend just???????? is so confused???????????? like if you finished your hours why are you still???????? tutoring?????????????????????????

and jeonghan’s stILl trying to figure out what to say

eventually chan sighs and goes “didn’t hyung say that he did it so that she’d notice him?”

and your friend is like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that’s so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cute!????????????? although lowkey mean too because you’ve still got so many hours left to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and jeonghan’s already finished all of his!!!!!!!!

jeonghan is so betrayed by chan it’s insane

“who’s baby are you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

chan just sends back a finger heart before going back to playing games on his phone

jisoo and seungcheol struggling (and failing) to hold back their laughter as jeonghan sends one last glare at chan

you come back holding the coffee and a donut because your friend texted you when you were halfway back saying they wanted a donut too and you just!!!!!!!!!!! screamed in defeat

you see your friend talking with seungcheol jisoo jeonghan and chan (who’s not really paying attention to them) and you walk over and

“did you finish your work already?”

your friend whips around so fast you feel the wind rush past your face

“almost!!!!!!!!!!!! i was asking jisoo for help because i didn’t understand one of the questions!”

you notice how they says jisoo and not jeonghan and you’re lowkey thankful for that

but you just nod and hand them their coffee and donut

and you both return to your table to finish their homework

but they don’t!!!!!!!! stop!!!!!!!!! talking!!!!!!!!!! about jeonghan!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“he’s super nice!”

“he’s really smart too!”

“and he plays table tennis!”

“he’s really attractive, don’t you think?”

and you’re getting suPER annoyed because at this point they’re just wasting time talking about jeonghan

and you just really quietly snap at them

“if you think he’s so amazing go ask him to be your tutor then!”

and your friend instantly shuts up

and you suddenly feel sO guilty and you’re about to apologize when your friend suddenly says

“he likes you”

“look i’m really sor- whAt??????????????”

and your friend shushes you really hurriedly

“he’s been trying to get your attention all this time!!!!!!!!!!! that’s why he’s been doing all this tutoring!!!!!!!! he actually finished his hours last year!!”

and the last comment,,,,,,pisses you off,,,,,,,,,really badly,,,,,,,,,for some reason,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

and before you can say anything your friend packs everything up and is standing up to leave and they’re like “byE! see you tomorrow!!!!!!” and disappear out of the library

and you’re still so??????? confused????????? but then you look over and see that jeonghan’s friends have suddenly left (with chan still hobbling away on his crutches)

and jeonghan looks very nervous?????? and also slightly annoyed

but then he sees you looking at him and he smiles awkwardly

and you suddenly feel so self conscious so you turn away to pack your things away

and you’re contemplating sending your friend a message to remind her that the library was closed the next day

so as you’re pulling your phone out, jeonghan slides up next to you

“good afternoon!!!!!!!!!”

you jump in surprise, almost dropping your phone, and look at him

and he’s smiling

and oh no

your heart’s beating

and you feel your face turning warm

so you stutter out a “hi” and start shuffling away

but he continues walking beside you

and you stop and look at him like ?????????? do you need something????????

“we might as well walk together, we take the same train”

and you’re like ???????????wow?????????? i never noticed!!!!!!!!!!

and it’s a little bit awkward on the way to the train

and when you get on you realize it’s empty

there’s like one old lady but that’s about it

and so you two sit down a little bit away from her

jeonghan’s still smiling, you notice

“i’m guessing your friend already told you?”

you’re a little bit confused until you realize he means about the hours and the tutoring

and you’re like oh! yeah they did

“i’m really sorry about that. i didn’t mean to cause so much stress for you”

and you’re like no!!!! it’s okay!!!!!! i’ll be able to finish my hours by the end of next year if minghao and wonwoo agree to help me

and he’s like “don’t,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ask wonwoo and minghao,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,for help anymore,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

and you’re like ????????????? but i can’t finish my hours if i don’t??????????????

and he’s like “you can,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,tutor me instead,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

at first you’re super confused because ???????????? it’s the same with wonwoo and minghao???????? but then you think about what your friend has said and you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!o h!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that’s what he meant!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and he’s looking anywhere but you and you can see his ears are rED as a tomato

and you feel yourself kind of,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,warm??????????????????? like it feels nice to have someone so???????? flustered????????????????????????? over you??????????????????

and you’re suddenly feeling suPER brave and so with that extra little bit of courage you say

“if you let me tutor some of your people,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i’ll go on a date with you,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

and he whips hIS head around sO fAST to stare at you and you’re like aksdhgsjkdsahgakl yOU’RE GONNA GET WHIPLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CALMDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but then he gives you the biggest smile ever

and you melt inside

“i’ll let you tutor all of them if you give me more than one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

and you swEAR it feels like an angel is smiling at you (which is tECHnically true)

you two go to school the next day together and he’s holding your hand swinging your arms around and you’re like ashgasjkdgasdg jeOnghan sOMEone is going to nOTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he’s like that’s the point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and you’re like can you get aNY cheesier

everyone at school is like fiNALLy jeonghan it’s ABOUT TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

and he’s too happy to even say anything but then his eyes promise imminent death

you end up finishing your hours before the school year even ends and jeonghan’s like !!!!!!!!!now we can go on more dates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and your friends all ship you guys so much it’s insAne

wonwoo and minghao now tell you everything about jeonghan

and you two are such a fluffy couple like you’ve been dubbed the “angel couple” by the entire school but your friends all call you the “demon couple” because they kNOW the truth

no one else believes your friends

[heylabodega]

Books Read, Age 26

Previously: 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18 (holy shit)

Enigma Variations–Aciman I talked to Robbie about this one a bunch bc he’s always looking for good novels about gay people by gay people and I thought this might be that but this is…not that. It had promise and the first section is really kind of lovely but it veers off and just…I don’t know, mileage will vary, but it didn’t feel True to me. idk idk either like he misunderstands love and sexuality or I do and it honestly could more than likely be me.

A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy–Adams One of those books I had just always kinda pretended I read. I mean not that people like frequently check to make sure I’ve read AHGttG but just like in my mind whenever it was mentioned I checked it off. You know the dealio you don’t need my thoughts on it (as opposed to most things, on which you definitely do).

All Grown Up–Attenberg My favorite of the Attenberg novels I’ve read. Of particular use and relevance to me, an aging single woman and unlikeable protagonist. I enjoyed this very much, it was sharp and warm and mean and tender.

Queen of the Night–Chee Hmm. Ok. I felt for most of this book that it like…thought it was a different, more important book than it actually was? It is overwritten–both in prose style and in that it could have been at least 100 pages shorter–and you know how sometimes you read a book with a female protagonist and you’re like ‘I can’t believe a man wrote this!’? Yeah this isn’t that. But the ending line is really good? idk. Someone else read it and tell me your thoughts.

Too Much and Not the Mood–Chew-Bose First of all, excellent title. These essays reminded me, and I mean in this in the lease self-important way possible, of my own writing. Just in that way where writing doesn’t have to be traditionally literarily linear. These essays are good and filled with the kind of sentences that make you know the writer loves words, you can feel her placing them carefully with the satisfying click of scrabble tiles, sliding them into the right order.

Who Killed Roger Ackroyd–Christie Typical Agatha novel and very good. I can’t tell you any more without spoiling it.

Murder in Retrospect–Christie This is one of my fave Christie’s. It was dark and smart and pithy.

Rule Britannia–Du Maurier I found this in a used bookstore in Portland, Maine, just after the Brexit vote. She wrote it in like the 70s and it’s speculative fiction based on if the UK left the EU and formed a union with the United States. It’s kind of really good but it also ends kind of abruptly, like maybe it could have been the first of a trilogy or something.

Plum Bun–Fauset This was my favorite book from my Harlem Renaissance class. I wrote my term paper on it. I love this book. I want to write it as a screenplay and someone to make it into a movie and I want Troian Bellesario to play the lead.

A Coney Island of the Mind–Ferlinghetti A book of (I think?) beat poetry that I found in a used bookstore in Saugherties at Thanksgiving. I love these poems, especially one called “The World is a Beautiful Place” which I read out loud to Robbie one night while we were walking between bars in the snow at like midnight.

Wishful Drinking–Fisher Carrie Fisher is one of those people whose very existence makes me feel braver and weirder and funnier. She’s a truly good soul and I don’t have anything else to say except that you should read this and also that you should Postcards From the Edge first it’s better.

Difficult Women–Gay I prefer Roxane Gay’s fiction to her nonfiction and these are very good, very interesting stories full of sadness and love.

The Autobiography of Malcolm X (as told to Alex Haley) I have never had so many people approach me while reading a book in public as this one. It is, unsurprisingly, an extremely compelling and upsetting book. But I was very surprised by it. I’m not sure quite what I expected from it, but it wasn’t what it was. I think about this book at least twice a week. I think everyone should read it and I think they’ll all enjoy it.

How To Be  A Person In the World–Havrilesky I think maybe Ask Polly columns are better in smaller doses than a whole book, but nevertheless, for better or for worse, she shaped a great deal of my early-twenties self esteem and the essays translate to the page much better than a lot of internet writing I’ve read. 

Girl on the Train–Hawkins This felt…cheap somehow. Like I got really into it and then felt like I’d been cheated or fooled because it’s truly not very good.

Bright Lines–Islam This is a fascinating book. It’s the most Brooklyn summery, felt the most like my Brooklyn summers despite describing a Bengali Muslim family and smoking weed and other experiences that are not specifically mine. I’d recommend it. Highly.

Intimations–Kleeman Man, I’ve recommended this book of short stories to so many people. It’s weird and interesting and it does something I think is hard, which is write surreal stories where the stakes still feel real, if that makes sense. She came and spoke to our class and she told an interesting question to ask of short stories which was, “what are the satisfactions of this story?” and all of these are satisfying and visceral. There’s one long one in the middle that I skipped and you can too, I give you permission.

A Swiftly Tilting Planet–L'Engle Hey, um, you know what’s p upsetting to read? A plot where a crazy dictator is gonna drop a nuclear bomb and start the end of the world (this isn’t a spoiler it’s introduced like five pages in). 

A Wind in the Door–L'Engle This was not as good as A Wrinkle in Time–what is–but it was a bright easy read, her books are so–loving, I guess. Good if you need a little palate cleanser.

Passing–Larsen We read a LOT of books in my Harlem Renaissance course. This a very good, short novel about, well, guess. It’s like a painting somehow, like a 20th century painting.

Sister Outsider–Lorde  I have taken none women’s studies courses so this was a pretty important text I had never read. It is very Good and everyone should read it if they have not already.

Cruel Shoes–Martin I LOVE Steve Martin and still on a few of these I was like “I don’t know, Steve.” But many others (they’re very short stories) are funny or clever or great.

Bright Lights, Big City–McInerney ughhhhhhh a book that is entirely written in second person and is about how womens’ existences and deaths have like ~made a man feel~ but it’s a short quick read and–I am E X T R E M E L Y reluctant to admit–the end is a really good image that did lowkey make me cry but also fuck this book

The Hopeful–O'Neill This I didn’t like much, in a way that I thought it needed a stronger editor and I want Eleanor or Robbie or someone I trust to read it to tell me if I’m wrong.

The Bed Moved–Schiff Weird and good little stories. I don’t think about them often, but they were elegant and sharp as I read them.

Eligible–Sittenfield It’s nice that they’re publishing Modern AU Pride and Prejudice fanfic now in a bound book. This was enjoyable tho tbh not the best Modern AU Pride and Prejudice fanfic I, a cool and chill person, have read in my life.

Swing Time–Smith I think this is my fave of the Zadie Smith books I’ve read. I wasn’t sure by the end quite what the point of it was, but I guess also what’s the point of anything? idk this is a useless description of a book. It was immersive and interesting but I’ve also not told anyone “you *have* to read this you’ll love it.” We did go see her read from it and in person she is enchanting.

The New Woman–Sochen Nonfiction about what I think we’d call first-wave feminism? It was really fascinating about an era I knew nothing about but also had some, um, glaring omissions ahem any mention of race whatsoever.

Action. A Book About Sex–Spiegel Ok look yes fine I am an adult sexually active woman who still reads books about sex whatEVER. I missed sex-ed and I also like to hear, in a non-prurient (or sometimes prurient w/e) way what other people are up to, sex-wise. I mean there’s no real like advice about sex in the world, I think, except that everything consensual and fun is fine, but I think it’s important to occasionally remind yourself of that. This was a good book.

Missing, Presumed–Steiner A crime book that I neither loved nor hated and generally enjoyed reading. Big enh.

The Girls From Corona Del Mar–Thorpe Robbie gave this to me for my birthday last year. A beach read with an edge, page-turner-y but sharp. Seems like it’s going to be a light read, but there’s a bite to it, a reminder of the cruel randomness of fate and of our inability to really know other people or ourselves. I loved this.

Cane–Toomer So this is an important text from the Harlem Renaissance and it’s kinda…never classified? It’s a series of related but not continuous short stories, as well as poetry, and little like plays? idk it’s very evocative and beautiful and dense and bears up to intense overreading. One of my favorite books I read for my Harlem Ren class.

The Blacker the Berry–Thurman Ok so Wallace Thurman apparently worried his whole life that his writing style was too journalistic and he maybe wasn’t…wrong. This is NOT a bad book and it’s well written and novelistic exCEPT when sometimes it feels pedagogical or expository. It’s a short, well constructed novel about colorism and worth checking out.

Killer–Walters Lovely and weird poems. I went to go follow the author on Twitter and discovered I already was. I love these.

The Underground Railroad–Whitehead An extremely. upsetting. book. Here’s the thing and I understand the presumption of my criticism of a book that won the national book award, but: if you’re going to make your conceit that the Underground Railroad is a real railroad, I think that you should do more with it. THAT SAID the rest of this is truly wonderful, somehow at once a page turner and viscerally upsetting.

Kiss Me Like a Stranger–Wilder I love Gene Wilder. I’d read Gilda Radnor’s memoir a couple years ago so part of this was sort of an interesting other side of the story. Anyways he seems like a genuinely strange, slightly neurotic, flawed but mostly warm and kind person.