#I also really want to draw new art but college is humbling me so bad rn :’D

[kiwiandmint]

Content Warning: Blood

Hi! Please take this random assortment of old KDJ art I did :D

[miekasa]

Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right. 

[peteyprecious616]

Written in the lines

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader

Summary: Bucky starts to take up a new hobby...drawing. He thinks his drawing is not good enough for you to see. But you think it's beautiful.

Word count: ~2.9k

A/N: I finally wrote a Bucky fic. For how much I talk about him to my friend, I struggle with writing him. I did this for @pellucid-constellations writing challenge! It was actually my first writing challenge ever so I'm really excited to be apart of it! This was also my longest fic i've wrote ever.

Warnings: Just Bucky's sad past really. but don't worry some fluff will come soon enough :)

Let me know how I did! :)

Main Masterlist

He was always the practical one. Steve saw beauty wherever they walked in downtown Brooklyn. The city's streets were covered in piles of trash and dust during the war. He picked out the little intricate details next to them.

Bucky encouraged Steve to go to college. Since he couldn't join the war, he could show strength through his drawings. Sitting in the alleyway after they helped Steve's ma clean up after dinner, he would stare at the city lights. The crowds of people stumbled to the nearest bar to distract themselves from the sorrow that the daily news rang in.

The humble guy drew the livelihood of the city through his scraggly, thin fingers. Bucky would be across the street, sitting outside the speakeasy, waiting for this pal to join him and the girls for a drink.

He usually never did but he could live that experience himself through his artwork.

Back then, Bucky never saw interest in art. He was a straightforward, "getting his hands in the dirt" kind of guy. When Steve dragged him to the art museum, he would read the signs, he would listen to his friend babble on about the details or the perceptions about each painting but thought he was crazy. Steve and Bucky had two different ideas of beauty.

The Winter Soldier lost his perception of beauty when Hydra stole anything that even had a small glimpse of the concept from him.

His combed back hair was ratty and tangled from all-day fighting with Hydra agents. His smooth skin, now marred with ugly, veiny reminders of his controlled life. His body screamed pain and agony whenever anyone saw him. Especially when he had to look at himself in the mirror.

There was nothing beautiful about what happened to him. So why even believe that it even existed?

The spotty memories of his past, good or bad, were now gone. He did not see the point of getting them back. He was a puppet, used to destroy and steal beauty from others. The world was a cruel place that Hydra believed did not deserve happiness.

And that mantra was ingrained in his skull and the scars of his metal arm. Voiced through the agonizing screams that fell from his mouth when Hydra broke him down to nothing. It was a statement.

No one deserves happiness, especially him.

Seventy years of pain and sorrow was established into his heart, frozen over by the snow he fell into when his feet slipped off the train. He was a soldier.

But that sparkle in your eye might have cracked a piece off his heart.

---

Steve kept his dream of drawing till the present day. His skills might have been a little rusty, considering he hasn't practiced since the '40s. It was therapeutic for him. He liked to be in control of everything as the captain of the Avengers. He barked orders and told soldiers their mission because that's what he was told to do.

But when he sat by the window of the compound, his legs curled up under his chin, his sketch pad laid across his thighs, he let his imagination control what he wanted. His mind created appealing stories and pictures that he could just put on a piece of paper. It felt freeing knowing that something as small as drawing, the one thing that grounded him before he was Captain America, he could still do on his own.

But when Bucky was cleared from Hydra, and finally able to join the Avengers compound without retribution, he was lost.

He fought in wars with people and himself, so he never had time to sit down and rest; Steve saw it in Bucky’s movements when he first moved into the compound. He was afraid to sit on the fancy leather couches Stark had in the living room. The couch was too delicate, too soft for Bucky. It felt foreign to him.

He did not deserve nice things.

Steve had to help him out the first few months, showing him how to make coffee. He tried to show him how the TV worked, but he never used it. Steve even showed how Stark’s fancy new shower had so many different options. Bucky did not understand why it needed so many buttons for something to wash the dirt off his skin.

It was impractical.

Steve could not always be around to hold Bucky's hand.

But being able to hold yours was way better.

---

You heard stories of Bucky throughout history. Through the museums that you walked through, through the judgy whispers through the compound, but especially when Steve couldn't keep his mouth shut.

He talked about his best friend a lot, how he was a charmer, how he loved to talk to people, and how open and outgoing he was before the war.

But you knew it would be a difficult transition for him. He wasn’t the same guy he was back then. He would be lost in the new world. So, you wanted to help him in any way you can.

So that’s what you did.

—

He didn’t trust you at first. It would make sense considering Steve was the only person he did trust in the past 100 years. He was skittish and only came out to get food from the fridge, always making sure no one was around before he went to the kitchen.

When you first met him, you didn't even hear the footsteps of the assassin slip by you until he was on top of you.

He always scoped out the hallways before he almost sprinted out of his room. But what he didn’t realize was that you were coming around the corner of the hallway, out of the elevator. It was too late before you felt a whole brick wall fall right on top of you. A gust of air plunged out of your mouth. It was so unexpected. Bucky ALWAYS checked before any of the avengers would come around his room. But today, he was distracted apparently.

“Hey, James. Running late I see?” You giggled as you saw his permanent frowned face turn to you. He was still shocked to see you. His long hair framed your face as he hovered over you. His hands are planted firmly next to your head, trying to keep some weight off of you.

My god, he was built.

“I'm sorry. Didn’t see you there.” He mumbled. Barely audible. Small talk was normal at the beginning of your relationship.

He scrambled up from the ground. His hand leaned out towards you to guide you up from the ground. He pulled you up with ease.

“It's okay. It happens.” A small smile ran over your lips, hoping he would return it. A little grumble came from him. His lips came up from a frown to a straight line.

You smiled a lot. He didn’t do it often, but he tried for you.

—

A couple of months later after you first met, you and Buck created a system.

It was a friendship to you. He wasn’t sure what it was yet.

But he loved it.

He loved the small cup of steaming coffee you would leave by his door before your morning run.

Hearing the soft patter of footsteps, the small shadow covering up the small sliver of the sunrise peeking through the bottom of the door. He was never asleep when you did this, and you knew that.

But you still did it because you always knew what he needed.

Or when you would leave for the day for a mission, he would come back from his deadly long hour workouts with Steve, he would drag himself to the fridge to find something to refuel his bruised, sweaty body.

You would have something in a bowl, wrapped up with the little sticky note sitting on top saying, “for Bucky only ;)”

It made him smile infectiously. He craved those small notes that you wrote just for him.

He wished he could return the favor by leaving you cute notes with smiley faces on them that would make you beam.

But he was never good with words, and you understood that.

You understood his small mumbles were like little “thank yous” and “I appreciate you” because that was how he was.

And you loved that about him because he was trying to show how grateful he was for you.

He wanted to give you the love you deserve because your heart was beautiful and warm, and it melted his cold, frozen over one.

The way he felt the color of red and orange paint his skin when you walked by, the idea of those colors representing warmth, confidence, and love made a difference in him.

He wanted to do something special for you. So he went to the only person he knew he could trust…

Steve Rogers.

—

Steve was always the hopeless romantic; wanting to get married young and have a family of his own.

Bucky didn’t believe in true love, or he used to not believe in it.

But you made it hard not to.

Steve decided he should draw a picture for you. Bucky was confused, which happens a lot with his scattered brain of mush.

He couldn’t draw; Steve knew that. Steve always pestered him back when he was studying art at the college. Bucky would always roll his eyes and say, “why would you draw something when you could tell them. Words are straightforward, not confusing.”

But not one word could come up Bucky’s throat that he could confidently say to you.

You made him a blubbering mess.

“Come on Buck. She would love it anyway because it's from you.” Bucky’s frown never left his face when Steve said that.

He wanted to give you something that was beyond words. Something that you could hang up on your wall and show to everyone because it was something GOOD that he made. He wanted to make you speechless.

Maybe that would stop him from falling whenever he saw you.

You didn’t deserve some stick figure drawing of you to hang up on the shared fridge of the compound.

You deserve something beautiful, just like you.

He denied his friend's idea for a while. But without any other ideas, he decided he should give it a try.

—

Even though Bucky was known to be quick on his feet and never able to be seen in plain sight, he never could hide from you. His shadow was always overshadowing yours.

You knew he was trying to follow you, but for what reason, you couldn’t understand.

When you were in the kitchen, he was sitting in the living room, a notebook in his hands, tongue poking out through his lips in concentration, his notebook facing away from you.

Crumpled up pieces of paper strewn across the carpet, only inches away from the garbage can next to the freshly cleaned ottoman.

And NEVER making eye contact with you, ever.

Your eyebrows stuck in a confused gaze as you wondered what Bucky could be writing. He only wrote cloudy memories from his past, or maybe some song recommendations that you so subtly give him to listen to, even though he didn’t know how headphones or music works in the modern era.

But you gave him his space. You walked to the cozy, wingback chair across from him. Small sips of hot chocolate slipped through your lips as you watched Bucky’s body shake with stress.

“Hey Buck, what's happening?” You nonchalantly ask, hoping he would let you hear some of the stress fly out of him.

His eyes become buggy. He looked up from his concentrated gaze on his notebook to see you moved. When did you get there?

“Uh, hey. Nothing happening here. What's up with you, doll?” His shaky voice was muffled as he drew his notebook closer to his chest. His body sitting up to lean against the back of the couch, the notebook out of sight.

You sighed.

You thought he trusted you. There was something up.

“Buck, are you okay? You seem tense.” The quizzical look you gave him almost gave up his charade.

Any look you gave him would make him drip into a puddled mess of sweat.

“I'm fine. Are you fine?” He laughed awkwardly. He never laughed like that.

He knew he screwed up.

He sighed as he grumbled to himself, ripping the piece of paper in half, throwing it to the ground in defeat.

This was too hard. He knew this would end badly. He just wanted to show you how important you were to him.

He threw the notebook, flailing to the ottoman, pages flown and bent as he frustratedly noticed.

Nothing he touched ever came out beautiful. Why did he think this time would be any different. His hands were made for pain, not to give caring, loving gestures to people.

Even though he didn’t realize what love was, he knew it was similar to what he felt whenever you were around. But he could never give you the same.

You sat the drink down in front of him, you stepped over the pile of papers, unknown to the public eye what could be on them.

“Buck, what's wrong? Why are you throwing these papers on the ground? I can help you with anything. You know all you have to do is ask.”

He knows that. You always let him know that you were there for him, even if you weren’t physically there for him at times.

“I know I just…you deserve better.” He held his head in his hands, his voice mumbled the last part of his sentence. He honestly didn’t want you to hear it. Knowing you would say something he wouldn’t believe.

“What do you mean?” Your hand now gently touched his hunched back, rubbing smooth circles, trying to coax him out of his stiff pose.

Your touch was the only thing that made him shiver. The colors, the red and the orange, the warm loving touch you gave him, let his struggling mind slip from his lips,

“I was trying to draw something.”

You didn’t expect those words to come from his mouth. You knew Steve as the artist of the compound, not knowing Bucky took up a new hobby.

“What were you trying to draw, Buck?”

“You.”

Your hand froze on his back.

He was trying to draw you?

He felt your touch become unrecognizable. Your body becomes like his, almost stiff.

He knew this was a mistake. He shouldn’t have tried it in the first place. He knew he ruined the “thing” that was going on between them.

He didn’t want to lose his friend.

You looked down at the crumpled up pieces of paper. You looked into his eyes, waiting for his approval.

Your fingertips gently unwrapped the folded pieces of paper, wondering what you honestly looked like through Bucky’s eyes.

You saw the wrinkled drawing of you.

Bucky and the Winter Soldier always strived for perfection. But you didn’t realize how serious he was taking this.

You saw an outline of your features. Your lips, still made in graphite but drawn into detail, just like your eyebrows drawn to a perfect replica of your own.

You looked closer to see the drawing, noticing something small written into your face. It wasn’t just lines of pencil. There were small words. Actually only one word; written over and over again.

Beautiful.

Your face was drawn with one single word. The only one Bucky thought was enough for you.

“You deserve the best, doll. I'm sorry it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to.”

You were still frozen. With what emotion, you weren't sure. Small tears came from your eyes he noticed immediately.

He gently grabbed your face, his calloused thumbs trying to wipe away the mess he created.

Maybe he could draw a different scenario, a story where he didn’t make you cry like this.

“Doll, say something please. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just thought maybe if I did something nice for you. You’d understand how much you mean to me.”

Your eyes finally met his. You started to smile.

You started to giggle as his face turned into shock. Why were you laughing? Were you laughing at his poor excuse of a drawing? Did he do worse than he thought?

You drew his hands from your face, you held them so lightly, rubbing small, soothing circles into his shaking palms.

“You think I'm beautiful, Buck?”

His lips were glued shut. What could he say to that? He couldn’t hide anything from you now.

“Uh..yeah. You’re beautiful, doll.” His lips turned from his usual frown, trying to make the situation better by making a small smile.

James Buchanan Barnes, the known charmer, was embarrassed. He was lost for words.

No new news for the soldier.

He started to blush. Oh god. He couldn’t hold himself up. Now you know the truth. His heart burned with the swarming colors you started to give him. The reds and oranges, the colors he was going to use on his finished drawing of you, were starting to stain him permanently.

You pulled his hands back to your face. Letting his fingers wrap around the back of your head, as you mimicked the gesture. Your fingers tangled through his ratty, long hair.

“Well Bucky, I think you’re beautiful too.”

He knew he couldn’t say anything back to that. But you knew his answer from the small grip to the back of your head he gave you. The blushing eyelashes he gave you. His smile now became a permanent sketch on his face.

His answer was written in between the lines.

[jisungsplatforms]

[Chapter I: Let’s Party!]

Pairing: Producer/Music Major! Han Jisung x Photographer! fem! reader

Genre: NSFW! Smut; non idol au, college au, strangers to lovers

Warnings: strong language, use of alcoholic beverages, drunken antics, ?? jackson wang is throwing a party?? (jk he’s not aljsks. changbin is tho), nothing filthy in this chapter, unfortunately :/ just plot build up

Chapter word count: 2.6k words

Taglist: @hyunjeongins @seungstarss @es-kay-zee @hyunjinsplaything @formidxble @freckledquokka (want to be added? send an ask or a dm! <3)

Haven University; school of the elite. From the academically inclined to the artistically blessed, only those who were gifted with such talents are accepted to augment their potential. The perfect school for the sensational.

...And like every other school with young hormonal adults, also the perfect school for a good fuck.

“Another outstanding submission, Y/n! Keep up the great work!”

You smiled at your photography teacher, Mr. Kim, bowing humbly as you thanked him. You were proud. Praise after praise for your picture taking skills only heightened your motivation to be the best even more. Photography has always been your passion. Ever since you were given your very first camera at the age of 5 years old- which, in retrospect, was actually a toy camera, you already knew that it is something you would want to pursue.

In the middle of your teacher’s praises with another student, the bell rang. “Looks like we ran out of time, folks. Great job again, Seungmin. Everyone, class dismissed,” he said, jokingly using shooing gestures. “Now hurry up and get out of my face, you delinquents. Lunch time awaits. Go replenish your life force.”

You began gathering your belongings, slinging your precious DSLR camera around your neck. “Outstanding submission, young photographer.” You heard someone say. You turned around to see Seungmin grinning at you.

You snort out a laugh. “Thanks. Great job to you too, Seungmo.” Seungmin was about to respond when your instructor’s voice interrupted.

“Oh. Except Y/n. Please stay a little bit after class, for me, dear.” You and Seungmin shared a glance, nodding for him to go ahead without you. He pats your shoulder, bidding you goodbye. You continued packing your things into your bag. As the rest of the students left the room, you walked towards Mr. Kim’s desk, waiting for his word. “Hello, Y/n.”

“Hello, sir. You wanted to talk to me?”

“Ah yes. I wanted to ask you this,” your instructor paused, sitting on his desk. “How much do you love photography?”

You paused, wanting to convey the exact feelings you wanted to express. “Photography is an escape for me,” you answered. “It’s another form of art that helps people convey the emotions and stories people want to tell. Some people express their emotions through music and lyrics, others through paintings, and others through dance. For me, personally, I’m not all that good in any of those aspects, sir. That is why I work so hard when it comes to this class, and in photography in general.” You unconsciously caressed the camera slung around your neck. “And to me, the stories behind a photo is a lot more intimate in a way that I just can’t explain.”

“Because...this is the only way for you to express yourself? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?” You nodded. Mr. Kim hummed in thought. “I see.” He stood up and walked to you, placing his warm hands on your shoulder. “I admire you, kid.”

“You...admire me?” You were confused. The teacher admires his student? Isn’t it usually the other way around?

“Oh yeah. Is that hard to believe?”

“Uhm...Kinda, yeah.”

Mr. Kim laughed mirthfully, amused by your bewilderment and doubt. “Well, believe it. You have spunk. Soul. Your work impart emotions I have never seen from my other students before. You’re passionate about what you do, and I like that. You take digital arts very seriously.”

You laughed awkwardly, the amount of praise your instructor was giving you made you happy. “I do, sir. Kinda a shame not a lot of people even consider it an art.”

“Indeed,” he replied, sitting down on his desk. “Which is why I wanted to give you an impromptu assignment. I want to assign you a story telling type of assignment; to write a story using your photography skills, if that makes sense.”

“Hm, yes? I think I get a jist of what you're trying to tell me.”

“Excellent. I just want to use this to monitor your skills, Y/n. You’re a very talented person, the most talented I’ve ever had even. I just want to see how much of that potential you really have so I can help you blossom it into something greater.”

“Oh,” you draw out, somewhat understanding why he picked you. “I see, sir. I’m honored that you’ve picked me.”

“You should,” he joked. “Now, I want you to photograph the following- write or type this down before you forget.” You hastily whipped out your phone from your pocket. “Ready?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay. I want you to capture the perfect scenes. Give me something that gives you joy. Something that makes you emotional, good or bad or even both, if you can. Something you fear, and finally, something that you love unconditionally. These are all supposed to be different photos, by the way. Got that?”

You finished typing a few seconds later. “And...got it.”

“Awesome!” he smiled. “Just know that I’ll be giving you only 3 months to complete the assignment. I hope that this isn’t too much to ask of you, but I’m sure someone as ambitious as you doesn’t mind, right?”

“Nope, sir! Everything will be a-okay!”

“I’m glad! Now move along and get to the canteen already. I’m sure you’re just as hungry as I am.”

You giggled, making your way to the door. “Thank you sir! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Oh, finally! There you are! We were starving waiting for you!” You rolled your eyes at Minho, who immediately decided to pick on you the second you entered his field of sight.

“Shut up, you could’ve eaten without me you know?”

“Nah, cause what kind of friends would we be if you ate without you?”

“You just want to steal some of my food, don’t you?”

Minho scoffed and went quiet, prompting Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Jeongin to laugh. “Caught you red-handed, Hyung,” Hyunjin teased, which backfired immediately causing him to chant an apology after Minho gave him a look.

“So why did you take so long, Y/n?” Jeongin asked.

“Oh, Mr. Kim wanted to give me an extra assignment.”

“Extra assignment?” Seungmin questioned. “What for?”

You shrugged, sitting down. “Uh, to test me? I’m not sure but I honestly think that there’s something more behind it. Not in like a bad way, just to clarify. I mean, he did acknowledge that I’m the best in his class after all.”

Seungmin snorted. “I just know you meant that unironically.” You jokingly blew a raspberry at him.

“Of course Y/n is the best!” Hyunjin stuck his chin up. “Let’s be honest, anyone could be the best if they use me as their model!”

“Hey, Hyunjin? You wanna eat this straw?” Minho threatened, making Hyunjin shut up.

“No...?”

“Good. Get off your high horse, prince charming.”

The three of you laughed. “Poor Hyunjin,” Jeongin sympathized sardonically.

“Hyunjin please stick to dancing and uh- not dying,” you said. “I still need you alive for some more upcoming projects.”

“For me too,” said Seungmin. “I might start using you as my model as well.”

Hyunjin fake cried, “Y’all just like me for my looks!”

“I mean, there’s no denying you are incredibly handsome but we like your personality too, Hyunie, don’t worry,” you cheered him up, then turned to Jeongin. “What about you, Yeni? How’re you holding up now that Lix is gone?”

Jeongin gasped. “I miss him! I’m so lonely now, especially when I have theatre! I feel so awkward now that girls swarm up to me instead- and you know I’m a shy boy!”

“Hey! At least you’re more popular now!” Minho laughed.

“Well, now we have no choice but to remember Felix in our hearts,” Seungmin replied.

“I’m not fucking dead. I just switched majors!” the four of you turned to see Felix pouting at you all.

“Well, you’re dead to me!” Jeongin wailed. “Going from a theatre major to a dance major. How could you?!”

Felix chuckled, sitting down between Seungmin and Jeongin. “I’m sorry! You know I’ll still see you though, buddy!”

“Why don’t you just switch to a regular vocal major next semester, Yeni?” you asked.

“Nah. I originally did want to go for just regular vocal studies but, you know, even if I did accidently sign up for the class, I ended up finding something else I wanna do. Plus, theatre is surprisingly fun! You know, find something new that’ll change your life every day.”

“Yup! Especially since they often collab with the dance majors so we get to see each other a lot!” Hyunjin beamed while Minho nodded in acknowledgment.

“Oh, speaking of dancing,” Minho chimed in. “You guys wanna go to a party I was invited to?”

“No,” Seungmin immediately responded.

“No, not you, I knew you would say no. I meant the others.”

Hyunjin nodded, “I was invited to the same party you’re talking about, so yeah.”

“Can’t,” Felix replied. “I’m still getting used to my new major and I still have a few assignments to catch up on.”

Jeongin hummed in agreement. “Same here. We have a play coming up soon and I’m a lead this time, so I gotta stay home to rehearse as much as I can.”

Minho made a stank face, “Aww. Lame.” He turned to you. “What about you, Y/n? You down?”

You thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, sure. Why not?”

“Really?” All 5 boys looked at you incredulously.

“Yeah. I might find some inspiration while I’m there. Besides you know I’ll just be leeching off of Hyunie and Min the whole time.”

Minho and Hyunjin high-fived, cheering a quiet ‘yes!’ Hyunjin giggled. “This is great cause we might need a designated back up driver in case I get drunk and Minho-hyung abandons me!”

“Now that you’ve said that, I might seriously consider that,” Minho grinned. “We’ll pick you up at 8 sharp! Y/n!”

‘8:53pm’ You wanted to go home already.

The boys, true to their word, picked you up at 8:00pm. With little to no traffic- and the fact that Hyunjin actually got ready early so that they wouldn’t be an hour late- the three of you made it to the party around 8:20pm. Even then there were already a lot of people there.

“What the fuck. This house is huge!” you gawked. “Can you even consider this a house still?!”

Hyunjin shrugged. “I’d say this more of a mansion at this point.” All you do mutter a constant chant of ‘what the fuck. what the fuck’ over and over again. “Who’s house is this again, Minho?”

“Changbin’s, remember? Jisung said they’re celebrating in his house,” Minho replied.

“Well this Changbin dude is LOADED,” you mused. Even in the dim lighting, you could see the elegance of the house, which most likely costs more than your entire tuition. “I’d hate to be the one who has to clean up the place.” The boys lead you to the kitchen, helping you avoid the crowd cause, in your words, ‘ew yucky people’. There, they brought you to two men wearing all black, who were hanging out on the island counter. Their names were Changbin- the handsome rich boy who owns the house, the lucky bastard- and Chan- another handsome rich boy with the cutest laugh and dimples, both really sweet and hilarious men, whom you very much enjoyed talking to...

That was the last memory you had before it went downhill.

It took 33 minutes and 4 soju bottles later for Hyunjin to get drunk. Chan and Changbin were back at the booth, manning the song list for the night while Minho was somewhere with some guy in a red beanie doing absolutely nothing, so here you were: stuck babysitting your best friend. “Y/n! Y/n!”

You sighed hearing Hyunjin drunkenly call you. Again. “Yes, Hyunie?”

“I looove you~!” he sang while giving you finger hearts, rocking on the balls of his feet. You sighed again, rubbing your temple.

“Yeah yeah. I know. Love you too.”

“Y/n!” Your left eye twitched. You whipped out your phone from your bra to text Minho.

Me: You bitch.

Help me

Minho ho ho 😼: Hi

No

You glowered. You quickly glanced up to check Hyunjin, who was now sitting on the carpeted floor in front of you, counting his luscious black hair.

Me: He’s-he’s counting his hair… Please get him. It’s like watching a bird repeatedly hitting glass

Minho ho ho 😼: At least he’s not making any trouble now, is he?

He fucking jinxed it. Hyunjin stood up with a shocked look on his face. “What’s wrong, Hyunjin?”

“It’s my favorite song!” he cheered, starting to dance along. You have to admit, even when he’s drunk, he’s still an exceptional dancer. Texting Minho a quick ‘fuck you’. You put your phone back between your breasts to go back to monitoring him, preparing yourself in case you needed to tackle Hyunjin down.

“Heyyy, Y/n!” Minho suddenly draped his arm around your shoulder. Taking your eyes off of Hyunjin, you glared at your lazy, backstabbing friend, shoving his arm off of you.

“Asshole, you’re ten minutes late.”

“Oh I'm not here for Hyunjin. I need your phone.” You look at him audaciously.

“What the- why?”

“My-uh-phone died?” he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. Your eyes briefly flickered towards Minho’s friend, who, in return, looked down bashfully, red faced. Hm. Weird. You rolled your eyes, nonchalantly reaching into your shirt to get your phone. Minho didn’t even hide his grimace. He cringed, “It’s warm...and wet?”

“Shut up. I’m sweating, okay? And I don’t have any pockets on me.”

Minho nodded, going back to his little friend. Before you could scold him, you heard Hyunjin screaming. You turned around to find him running to the front door. Oh shit. You started pushing people to run after him

You groaned in disgust, wanting nothing more than to get the hell out of here. You pushed your way out of the crowd, cringing at the feeling of touching numerous dirty, unknown people. Where in the world is the fucking exit? In the midst of the sweaty, drunken bodies, your eyes met. It was like time had stopped; no one within the vicinity seemed to not have mattered anymore. With just a smirk and a flirty wink from the chubby-cheeked boy in the red beanie, you knew…

...you just had to fuck him

Hold on, Y/n. Your friend might get fucking ran over! You snapped out of it. With a flustered face, you continued shoving your way through, wrangling Minho on the way. “Come on, fucker. You’re helping me. Let’s go,” you sneered while Minho complained.

After 30 minutes of chasing and wrestling, the drunken beast was tamed. The night ended with Minho driving you all home instead while you and Hyunjin cuddled in the backseat against your will. Minho took great pleasure in knowing that he wasn’t Hyunjin’s cuddle buddy, laughing every time you tried unlatching yourself from him, which made the long haired boy cry. Your sadistic friend dropped you home first, apologizing for not being much of a help tonight. “To make it up to you, I have something for you,” he suspiciously said, wiggling his eyebrows, before giving your phone back and driving off.

You relaxed on your bed, happy that you were rid of those dirty, smelly clothes. You grabbed your phone to text Minho. Assuming that the messages app was left on your conversation with him, you started texting, not paying any mind to the fact that the chat was blank.

Me: Thanks for taking me I guess. I didn’t get anything other than unwanted kisses from Hyunjin ew but it’s aight.

Speaking of aight…Do you think you can give me your friend’s number? 👁👁 The one with the red beanie.

Cause sir, not to be nsfw or anything but he is one fine ass man that I’d like to fuck

Almost immediately, the three bubbles appeared. You were surprised that Minho would reply that fast, thinking we was still on the road with Hyunjin. The reply you got, however, made your heart drop.

Min’s hoe: uh...hi? 👋🏻

this is minho’s “fine ass friend with the red beanie” 👁👁

Shitshitshitshit SHIT

[NEXT CHAPTER]

A/n: Sorry no smut in this chapter just plot build up :(( (which i’m a sucker for) and a lot of dialogue. But Trust me. Everything written in this chapter will fall into place with the future chapters. And who know, next chapter might be 🥵

[launaej]

I realize I never really introduced myself on this tumblr.

I like to go by Ren. She/her/they. I’m 23, turning 24 in Feb. & I’ve decided to start a fresh tumblr. My old one I’ve had since like 2011 & I feel like it had posts & phases of so many closed chapters in my life that I decided to start a new one. So I’ve been on tumblr for a long while. It’s honestly wild to think about my time on this social media platform. Started using it when I was a wee lil freshman in high school with goals of becoming a drum major for my high school marching band & becoming a music teacher. I’d come home afterschool, drink mi cafesito with my mom, take a nap, finish my homework, then spend the rest of my time on tumblr or watching youtube. I’d have long school days, waking up at 5am, to really get ready and sneak some tumblr before school, then be at the bus stop by 6:15 and get the day started. Like holy crap, what a different change of pace life is now. Now I’m 23 & still find this website to be a humble lil sanctuary to unwind & draw inspiration from. Crazy to think I’m now the same age that Lana del Rey was when she was posting Video Games on tumblr back in 2011. What is time??? 

 Tumblr has seen me through my best times, like finally reaching to be drum major, and some of the worst, like finding out financial aid changed its rules and suddenly you can’t finish school. I have yet to still reach the finish line with my academic goals. Still have yet to get that piece of paper, but I know it’s in the horizon. 

For now, I hope to soon make Youtube content on some of the things I've been learning this quarantine. My goal is by the end of this year to be a full on ~interwebs~ person & hopefully make a little money doing it. After 2 years of trying to save up money working a call center job & STILL not being able to save money to finish school (I wasn't trying to take out loans) and then losing my savings in this pandemic, I figure you know what, if people are out here making money doing what they love, maybe I can too. The goal for me is to still get my Bachelor's in Music Education but I'm not trying to break myself over it. Not that I need a degree for music, but my parents never finished college & I really want that degree for me & for us. I was supposed to walk across the stage spring of 2019, but financial aid decided to add some new rules at my community college where if you had over 24 elective credits, they wouldn't pay for anymore electives . At that point, I had 36 elective credits & basically that rule fucked over a lot of art students who were close to finishing. ANYWHO, at the time (Fall 2017) I said no problem, I'll work extra hours at work, save money & take 1 class at a time. & I did. Spring 2018, I was able to take 2 classes. Fall 2018 & Spring 2019 I didn’t take classes but I picked up a LOT of extra hours to save money. Then I got into a car accident on July 4, 2019, which ate up my school savings. But whatever, I kept going. Saved up again & then the pandemic happens & I had to leave my job in April after confirmed cases in the call center & lack of enforcing safety measures. Loved the job, but I didn’t feel safe. Fast forward now to January 2021, my savings are eaten up again. Not only that there was a whole thing where the college I wanted to transfer to was shutting down its college of education, and honestly at that point I laughed out loud when I read the article. Feels like my simple little goal of getting a degree to be a music teacher keeps running away from me. I graduated high school 2015, like this was supposed to be an easy journey. But yet here I am, in 2021, somehow without the degree & you know, I used to curse a lot at the events that lead me to not finish my goal; just so many factors out of my control. But after 2020 & seeing a lot of close friends start their teaching careers in this mess, I can’t look back at those setbacks with the same sourness I had before. I am now more of a believer in divine intervention. I'm still going to answer the same call in life, I just have to take a different path. A path I hadn’t planned for at all, but you know, we out here, winging it. 

So for now, I’m unemployed. BUT I’ve been learning a shit ton on an assortment of various topics. I don’t think I could have made some serious headway on some of these topics if it were’t for 2020. At this point, this is how I see things. I could spend my time trying to look for a job, & work at a place I couldn’t care less for + isn’t helping me grow & where i risk my life over something I don’t love. OR, I can simply grow & follow what I love & figure out the rest as it may. If it’s one thing I’ve learned, is that just as things can fall apart, they can fall into place. I’ve had many MANY moments where I’ve found solutions just in time. After 2020, I am definitely more of a believer in ‘Rejection is God’s protection.’ & somehow, after this crazy year, I’m here. I have to make it count, & I owe myself my dreams.

Soo I’m going to posting random things I find on some learning I’m doing. Even though I don’t have the money to go to school, doesn’t mean I still can’t learn my lil heart out. Topics I’m currently researching / learning more on that you’ll probably see posts about:

Music Theory {I'm trying to learn more about atonal / microtonal music / tonnetz / harry partch / erv wilson / abstract music notation systems / ancient music theory}

Puerto Rico {trying to learn more history & more about my lineage / trying to learn about how my family's history in Aibonito y Corozal / trying to dig deeper into the history of Sephardic Jews on the island & the influence of Jewish music & Ladino music on Jibaro music / taino mythology & history / santeria / 21 divisiones / Brujeria}

Physics of Sound / Sound Architecture / {kepler / acoustics / resonance / harmonic oscillations}

History of Latin America & Spanish Conquistadors / Black History in South America & the Caribbean / Antilles History {SO much history I'm still learning that I never learned in A.P. U. S. History or A. P. Euro. in 2020 I learned about how many places in FL are named after some really bad conquistadors i.e. Hernando de Soto who was such a bad dude !! so much to still learn}

Astrology / Tarot {being raised with watching Walter Mercado in the background, astrology has been a part of life since I was really little. But I've been heavily studying astrology since 2016 & tarot since 2018.}

Self-sufficency {farming / solar punk / fermenting foods} 

Feel free to ask me any questions about music education, music theory, college experience, etc. I also have played clarinet for the past 12+ years & have played alto sax, euphonium & piano for a bit. Know about that band geek/drum major life. Big DCI fan. Recently borrowed my dad's cuatro to start learning how to play some Puerto Rican classics.  También hablo español. Aunque nací en Nueva Orleans, crecí en Aibonito y Corozal y más tarde en Florida. Ahora, estoy en FL, pero toda mi familia es de la isla. Si eres puertorriqueño o de FL, ¡no tengas miedo de decir qué pasa! Social medias @launaej

Hope to have some videos & content up soon! Feel free to send me suggestions! Not used to being a person on the internet. But here we go! :)

[forestwater87]

A big box o’Gwenvid AU ideas: A is for "Aww” and “Angst” and “AAAH”

This post is fucking rad as balls, and I started thinking of fun AU ideas . . . until I remembered that I already have approximately 2 billion WIPs already and don’t necessarily know if any of these have legs as actual fics. But it was fun to think about, so here we are! This is the first of . . . presumably 26 of these? Who knows, but this post we have:

Accidental Marriage AU

In which Campbell convinces incredibly wealthy investors known for their focus on “family values” that the Camp is a sweet family business run by a husband-and-wife team of counselors. The problem, of course, is that it isn’t sweet and its head counselors aren’t married. Campbell only has enough booze to fix one of those situations. 

He’ll figure the rest out in the morning. He thinks better with a hangover, anyway.

(Yes I think this one would be awesome in Campbell’s POV. You cannot change my mind on this.)

Actor AU

Okay, real talk this would just be @whiskyarts​‘s gameshow AU. Because I kinda love the idea of Jerk!David who just pretends to be a sweetheart for the cameras. Except I would cover it with my filthy Gwenvid hands and make it shippy in that antagonistic-hatemance-eventually-turns-into-something-resembling-feelings. There would be lots of angst and snark and sparkly clothes and I would love it and probably no one else would.

Alien AU

An Interplanetary Anthropologist, Gwen, manages to land a position on the Campbell after years of education and networking and plain old hard work. She is an employee of the most impressive warship in the galaxy -- sure, it’s gone to seed a little bit in the last few decades, but it still has its shine if you look at it sideways and squint a little -- and more importantly, it’s work experience! Paid work experience . . . as a janitor.

When the Campbell picks up a POW that the ship’s commander plans to (illegally) sell to the highest bidder, Gwen decides to treat it as an opportunity to build a real-life case study on one of the universe’s rarer life forms while it’s within arm’s reach. But the more she learns about the strange, sunny alien who was his platoon’s only survivor, the more uncomfortable she is with letting him disappear into her captain’s nefarious dealings and -- 

Oh fuck, this is The Shape of Water, isn’t it? I mean, I’ve never seen The Shape of Water but I’m pretty sure that’s what this is. Fuck. Goddamn it. Fuck.

Amnesia AU

David takes a rogue bus to the . . . well, everything -- something that’s more or less routine by now -- and hits his head hard enough to knock him out for almost a full day. When he wakes up, he’s the same cheerful David the camp is used to . . . except for three strange new things:

He doesn’t know where he is or what he’s doing -- doesn’t, in fact, remember anything after some vague memories of childhood.

He’s completely terrified of the forest, and especially of Spooky Island.

He has no idea who Cameron Campbell is, but he’s quite positive he hates him.

Android AU

Actually @ciphernetics​ and I put this idea together a little while ago! Basically Camp Campbell has a state-of-the-art off-brand helper android named David, who is a perfect camp counselor, childcare provider, and comes equipped with the finest Forest Survival software Cameron Campbell could find for free online in half an hour.

Gwen, the new (requisite human) hire, hasn’t ever really interacted with androids, and doesn’t especially want to now. David is used to the distrust, even outright hostility -- very few of the campers seem to like him, and he knows that his presence can be unsettling to humans, and look, it isn’t a D:BH AU okay? It just looks like one, and acts like one. And is one.

Angel/Demon AU

Um the perfect Angel/Demon AU literally already exists, but they only wrote one chapter back in 2017 and never updated, and that makes me absurdly sad. Regardless, David being very bad at being a demon and Gwen being very bad at being an angel is the ideal setup for this kind of AU, in my humble opinion. 

However, David being an angel trying to reform his fallen ABFEL (angel buddy for eternal life!), who probably became a demon over something stupid and probably horny, also sounds extremely cute. They’re still friends, even though that is against literally all of the rules, and they secretly meet and hang out. David is convinced he can bring her around, and Gwen insists that she hates having him hanging off her nonexistent wings all the time. 

Honestly, probably neither of those things are true. Gwen wasn’t cut out for heaven -- and probably, neither is David.

Apocalypse AU

Cameron Campbell was probably doing something dangerously stupid in the hopes it could make him money. That, or the Quartermaster was doing something dangerous for reasons only he could ever understand. Hell, maybe that’s what that weird Daniel guy’s cult was trying to do. Whoever was doing what, they ripped a hole in their dimension at the bottom of Lake Lilac, and all sorts of awful things start creeping through.

There were signs, of course -- that weird fish-monster certainly didn’t come in through customs -- but an inopportune explosion, or wayward firework, or the rumblings of Sleepy Peak Peak, or something ripped a hole in the fabric of reality big enough for Lovecraftian monsters to start crawling through. There’s no stopping it. Really, there’s no chance of even fighting it. 

The second the rift opens, the story becomes one of just trying to stay out from under the Elder Gods’ feet.

Arranged Marriage AU

I think the easiest way to make this one work is by making either David or Gwen Campbell’s actual biological child -- maybe an heir, albeit to a highly illegal fortune and a mountain of credit card debt. But Campbell gets in trouble, the kind of trouble where he’s gambled everything and the only collateral he has left is a kid he got saddled with because their mother had better lawyers. A kid he’s been more than happy to put to work for the last 20-something years, who happens to have caught the eye of a ludicrously wealthy magnate -- not for her own sake (though Campbell would’ve been open to that too) -- but for her child, one she loves more than anything and keeps carefully shut away until the Right Person comes along.

His kid isn’t necessarily the right person, but for the first time in his life Cameron Campbell has a genuine treasure on his hands.

And, like all the fake treasures he’s passed off over the years, he just has to find a way to shine them up and make him a fortune.

Artist AU

Gwen is a starving artist living in a rat-infested hovel in the city, scraping by on a series of uninspired landscapes she paints on postcards and the goodwill of friends, family, and significant others. One day, a bright young man bounces up to her “studio” (it’s a cardboard box outside the park) and tells her excitedly that he’s been looking for her for weeks; he thinks her postcards are the most beautiful things he’s ever seen, and he would like to know if she’d be interested in moving down to a cabin by the lake. He runs a summer camp, he explains, and he knows they’d all be honored if she would teach them art lessons -- and of course paint in her spare time! The views are indescribable, and he’s sure she’ll have no shortage of inspiration.

She weighs the cost of what little artistic dignity she has remaining against room, board, and a steady paycheck for three months, and takes the job immediately.

Art Student AU

Put them in an art college -- maybe condense the ages so that the campers are like, younger students? -- and have Gwen as the Serious Art Student who cares a lot about theory and form and doing things right, and she’s constantly irritated by her classmate David, who sits at the same table as her and has declared them art buddies, and is convinced that the point of art is just to have fun and do your best! Maybe force them to do a group project together and really see them clash.

(Alternatively, there is the infinitely more shameless route of one being an art student and the other being a newd model for figure drawing. I am obviously much too classy to ever insinuate such a thing, but if someone was really looking for a way to write smuht . . . it’s sitting right there. On a table. nekkid. I HAVE TO CHANGE THE SPELLING TO MAKE THIS GO IN THE TAGS ARE YOU KIDDING ME)

Athlete AU

There are 4 major ways this one can go, I feel like:

Basically HSM: Gwen is a small part in her school’s musical (techie, maybe, or the orchestra) and lanky jock David -- which is the most hilarious phrase ever but he’s probably a runner or tennis player, something light on muscles and heavy on speed and springiness -- who’s well-mannered and cheerful but not the brightest, is put into the show as an extra-credit way to bump up his GPA so he can keep sporting his sports, and it turns out he’s both very good at and super enthusiastic about it.

A little like HSM, but as grown-ups: Gwen is the head of the drama/art department, which has just faced heavy cuts to support the superstar sports program, and she furiously storms over to the head coach’s office to let him know exactly what she thinks about him and his stupid meathead jocks. Of course, when the man who opens the door is a sweetheart beanpole with big eyes who already knows her name, she finds it hard to keep up her righteous indignation. And when it turns out that he was completely ignorant of the hit her department took from the budget cuts (or maybe not ignorant, just terminally oblivious) and is almost as upset as she is to hear about it, she’s forced to reconsider everything she’d assumed about Coach Greenwood; maybe he’s not the enemy after all, but someone with whom she can formulate a new battle plan.

Reporter/Famous Athlete AU: Either Gwen is a professional sportsball person and David is the shy, bumbling photographer eager to prove himself, or she’s the plucky, intrepid reporter and David is a good-natured professional athlete who she’s determined to interview.

Teammates AU: Professional or amateur sports team, and they’re just trying to scrape their way out of the bottom of the league without killing each other. 

Author AU

There are a lot of potential interpretations of this AU, but my personal favorite is Gwen as a novelist with two distinctly differing careers: as G. E. Santos, the high-concept writer whose books are critical darlings in the maybe 3 publications that care about such things but whose sales can’t quite crack the triple digits; and as Annabelle Elizabeth, whose steamy erotica regularly tops the bestseller lists and is reviled by all of G. E.’s colleagues as “populist genre trash.” 

The only person alive who knows about her Jekyll-and-Hyde author personas (besides her older sister Audree, who plays the part of charismatic and sensual Annabelle flawlessly) is her editor, David. He’s an odd choice, as her colleagues in both fields have pointed out -- reading her romance novels with his pen in one hand and the other covering his eyes, peeking through his fingers to write tremulous notes in the margins; stumbling through her ponderous literary works with a dictionary in his lap and his tongue between his teeth, poring through them like he’s learning a new language -- but he’s the only person Gwen will allow to touch her writing. 

Maybe it’s because he always seems like her biggest fan. Maybe it’s because she’s known him since they were at a summer camp together years ago. Maybe it’s because he believes in her in a way no one else does -- in a way she absolutely doesn’t believe in herself.

David is, for reasons she’s not entirely sure how to explain even to herself, the only person she trusts.

Avian (Bird People) AU

Centuries ago, it was said, avians were a rarity, an aberrant mutation to be locked up and intently studied but never trusted. Some people thought they were antichrists, a sign of the end times, when all normal humans would be destroyed and only the strange bird-people would remain.

In a way, maybe they were. Because when the earth’s crust ripped open and flooded the planet with magma and boiling water miles deep, avians were the only ones who could take to the sky.

Not all of them, certainly. In fact, most were locked up in detention centers and laboratories when the Swamp formed, and were unable to escape in time. Considering the people who could get to high enough elevations to escape the deluge, there were decades afterwards where the decimated human population outnumbered the avian one. Those were periods of tension, outright war and tentative alliances -- even romances, the kinds of great love stories that dragged both avian and human populations a few generations along when one or both of them should’ve died out.

That was over two hundred years ago, however. Now the Swamp is a murky expanse of scalding water and the boiled remains of civilization transformed into unrecognizable muck, with islands of “land” cobbled out of what remains. This is where the avians live, now. And humans don’t live anywhere, not anymore.

At least . . . that was what they thought.

[yoon-kooks]

Witch Hazel- Pt.2

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: FanficWriter!Jungkook, Idol!Reader, College!AU, Angst, Fluff

Summary: There are two students in your art class with a secret: you and the quiet Jeon Jungkook. You’re a problematic idol singer, infamous for your ice cold reputation and perpetual resting bitch face; he’s the artist and author behind the viral comic series based on a certain ice queen idol. After a blowup of destructive rumors, lost motivation and inevitable solitude, you stumble upon Jungkook’s comic and find a new and unexpected light.

Word Count: 3.6k

Parts: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // ?

A/N: yikes i haven’t updated this in super long aaaaaaaaa also happy birthday to the nuttiest kid in all the land, jeon jungkook :-) 

“Hey have you read Witch Hazel yet?”

“Of course I have… Who hasn’t?”

“True, it really went viral after Snow made that tweet, huh.”

“I can’t believe how much power that bitch has…”

“Yeah but that jk.seagull boy is super talented regardless.”

“It’s just a shame he wastes his talent on Snow of all people.”

“Right? Like, can you imagine if he wrote something about Park Jimin?? It’d be even more popular than Witch Hazel will ever b-”

The gossip dissipates as you walk into the art room, as if your classmates know you’re the idol they’ve been shit talking. But of course, that isn’t the case. It’s simply your chilling aura that halts any conversation for a brief moment.

You set your guitar case down and take your usual seat at the same table as the only two people who don’t seem to mind your presence.

“Y/N, did you hear? Jungkook became an overnight sensation,” Taehyung whispers to you as he points at the black mass that’s slumped over the table.

“Are you trying to tell me he’s the one who wrote the infamous Witch Hazel?” you yawn, unamused. But out of curiosity you look over to the boy who’s all bundled up under his hood with his head resting against the table, trying to catch up on as much sleep as possible before class begins. There’s no way he could write a fanfic comic about you.

“What? No! No, no, no, no,” Taehyung laughs and pulls out his phone to show you the same tabloid you’d seen the other day—the one that claimed Snow and Jimin were secretly dating. He points to the ominous hooded figure in the background of the photos. “Someone pointed him out in the midst of the whole Snow-Jimin chaos and now he’s a Twitter meme.”

“What kind of meme…?” You only ask because Jungkook does give off major meme vibes. Maybe it’s the way he pairs his round Harry Potter glasses and baggy hoodie with the tiny silver gauges in his ear and the ripped jeans that hug his thighs. He’s like some weeby hipster fusion, and you aren’t quite sure how to feel about that.

You don’t know what you were actually expecting, but it does feel a little shitty when you find out the meme in question features Jungkook as a shocked grim reaper who accidentally kills Snow’s career. Suddenly, you remember why you had chosen to stay away from social media.

“Funny, right?” Taehyung pats his sleeping friend’s broad back to wake him up. “But what’s even funnier is the fact that the cold-hearted Y/N reads fanfic, too??” Jungkook’s head pops up and tilts when he spots you sitting at their table. Oh no. The weeb thinks you’re one of them.

“I don't really read fanfic, okay? It’s just that Witch Hazel happened to be all over the internet, so I was curious.” You wave your hands in defense, praying they don’t get the wrong idea.

“Did you like it?” It’s literally the first fucking time you recall Jungkook ever speaking to you. His voice is much softer towards you than when he chatters with Taehyung, and there’s a genuine curiosity and innocence in his eyes.

“It was fine.” It’s not like you can just say no to those big doe eyes. “I just can’t believe there are people out there who really see Snow as their muse…” And what a relief it is to know.

Jungkook nods, although it seems like he’d say more if he wasn’t so shy. You watch as he pulls out two pages from his sketchbook, one with a realistic sketch of Taehyung’s face, and the other a comic version of a nerdy Jungkook.

“Thanks, friend.” Taehyung slides the beautiful portrait of himself over to the desk space in front of him and angles it towards you. “Stunning, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, too bad you didn't draw it yourself, you snake,” you shake your head. Despite all the hardwork Jungkook put into the portrait, you can’t help but feel bothered by the fact that his friend almost fucked him over with their little deal.

“Aww, don’t be so bitter, Y/N. I’m sure Jungkook would be willing to draw you too if you gave him something in return~” Taehyung winks at you, and as much as you’d love to tell him off, you can’t.

“Shut up, Tae-”

“I don't need his help,” you cut Jungkook off, pulling out your own self-portrait. Somehow it looks a lot uglier now than when you had first finished it. But whatever. At least it’s your own work, your own art. “I don’t need anyone’s help.”

Both Taehyung and Jungkook stare at your art, not really knowing what to say. The more you look at it yourself, the more you see that it doesn’t resemble you.

“Hey it kind of looks like Sn-”

“Alright everyone, it’s time for class to begin.” You’re thankful that your professor cut Taehyung off before his loud mouth said too much. You can’t believe your idiot self accidentally drew your portrait as a glammed-up Snow with her beautiful blue eyes rather than as a bland college kid Y/N with no shits to give. “Let’s start by taking a look at all of our self-portraits.”

You watch as your classmates take out their drawings, some better than others, but none quite as terrible as your own. You suppose you shouldn’t feel bad, considering you didn’t enter a school of the arts with the intentions of becoming an artist with paints and a sketchbook like most of your drawing class did. You entered school with the intentions of becoming an artist with your guitar and notebook. And the only reason why you made the decision to include this unrelated class on your schedule was to escape your failures as the musician you wished to be.

“Taehyung, since you love to talk, why don’t you start us off by introducing your piece? And then we’ll just go around the classroom one-by-one.” Your professor gestures to Jungkook’s drawing of Taehyung’s face. Great. The last thing you want to do is show off your ugly Snow portrait to an entire room of people you don’t really feel close to. If any of them find out you’re an idol, you’ll have to quit school. That was the agreement you made with Seokjin after he encouraged you to give school a chance.

“Well, I’d like to think my portrait is pretty straightforward. My approach was to be as realistic as possible while accentuating my most defining features such as my long eyelashes and beauty marks. And I did this by…” Taehyung goes on and on in such detail about the portrait that he didn’t even draw. It’s actually quite impressive. You envy his ability to speak with such confidence and charisma in a way that makes everyone believe his shitty art skills could produce something so beautiful. He knows how to make everyone his friend.

“Can you believe Taehyung’s that talented at drawing despite being a photography major?” You hear two girls whispering amongst themselves. “He’s incredible.”

Next is Jungkook. You snicker a bit at his drawing because it’s not exactly what you’d expect from the art genius of the class. While he had made Taehyung’s portrait super realistic, his own portrait looks like a bespectacled nerd that came straight out of a manga. Weeb. The thing that stands out most is his big nose. But you find it kind of cute.

“I just drew myself in comic form because that’s what I was most comfortable with,” he says, staring down at his sketch. You can tell he kind of trolled by overemphasizing with some dynamic lines for a more dramatic effect on his meme face.

“Amazing job as always, Jungkook,” your professor gives the boy a thumbs up in approval and elaborates further on the refined techniques he incorporated into the assignment. Jungkook only nods in response to the nice feedback. You appreciate how humble he is despite the professional level of his art. In the corner of your eye, however, you swear you see the same pair of Taehyung fangirls roll their eyes.

Finally it’s your turn. It’s unfortunate that you have to show your shitty artwork right after Jungkook’s two masterpieces, but it could be worse. After all, this wouldn’t be the first time your artistic ability has been criticized and compared with others. As an idol, you deal with that all the time.

“My self-portrait doesn’t look like me because it’s like a mask that superheroes wear to conceal their identities. So people don’t know what’s really hiding beneath the surface.” You don’t mean to darken the mood, but that’s the best way to put it without explicitly saying you have another identity as Snow. No one in your class makes a comment, but you suppose that’s expected. They wouldn't understand.

“And the blue eyes?” You wish your professor wouldn’t prompt you with more questions. Why couldn't she just say you did a good job and move on like she did with everyone else? You feel singled-out.

“I think they’re prettier than my real eyes.” You don’t want to tell everyone you’re a cold-hearted ice queen, but you aren’t completely lying either. Back when you first entered Polar Entertainment, you remember thinking it’d be cute to wear those icy blue contacts for your audition. And you suppose it paid off because you were told you were beautiful with a beautiful voice, perfectly suited to be an idol. But an idol was never what you wanted to be. Beauty wasn’t what you wanted to be remembered by, but that seems to be the only thing people ever praise Snow for.

“So your portrait is more of a reflection of who you’d like to be?” Wrong. Absolutely wrong.

“Yeah,” you say, in hopes that your professor will move on to pestering the next person. Thankfully, she does.

After wasting the majority of class on showcasing everyone’s artwork, your professor announces that there’s a “phase two” in the portrait unit. The new assignment is basically to draw yourself again, “but with the interpretation and direction from two of your classmates.” Your professor also notes that this group project requires a lot of work and interaction outside of class, and that you should get to know your groupmates really well in order to succeed in this assignment. Fantastic. You hate group projects.

You remember the horror stories from high school of being that one kid who couldn’t find a group, or having incompetent groupmates who let you down. You’d much prefer to do the work all on your own. Especially when you know your class has some pretty incompetent students of its own, namely Kim Taehyung. You’d hate to be stuck with that guy.

“Psst, Jungkook, Y/N. Wanna be in a group together?” No, you do not want to be in a group with Taehyung. However, you’re in no position to turn down his offer. Because you’re sure everyone else in your class wouldn’t appreciate having you on their team. That's just the way things are.

“Sure,” you say. Jungkook nods after you. Perhaps working with Jungkook will outweigh being dragged down by a slacker like Taehyung.

“Great, should we hangout after class today? Today’s like the one time I don’t have a date planned.” Taehyung flips through the filled calendar on his phone before handing his phone over for you to give him your number. After doing so, you check your own phone for a text from the boy with his number, but instead you find a message from your boss.

2:46PM monster lady👹 “Snow-- Seokjin informed me that you’ve requested to take time off from work. In light of this and the current situation regarding Park Jimin, please drop by my office today so we can have an open discussion about the best option for you moving forward.”

“I can’t, I have somewhere to go after class. Sorry guys.” You only feel bad because you’re the one holding them back.

“Where do you have to go? Is it a date?” Taehyung asks. Why does this guy only ever think about dates?

“No…” you answer, praying he’ll stop being so nosy.

“Then what-”

“Actually, I’m busy today too,” Jungkook adds before the other boy can say anything else. “I have to do a bunch of drawings for my animation class.”

“Excuses, excuses,” Taehyung shakes his head at you and Jungkook, as if he’s the responsible one in the group. “How did I get stuck with the two most antisocial people in the class?”

“You’re the one who asked us,” is what you want to say, but Jungkook says it for you.

“Fine, fine,” the other boy gives in because he knows he’ll fail the class without his buddy. “I’ll go get laid tonight, I guess.”

You nod, packing your things into bag and picking up your guitar. Before you leave, you realize you forgot something.

“Can I get your number too?” You point your guitar case in Jungkook’s direction. Flustered, he feels around his entire hoodie for his phone, only to remember it’s in the ass pocket of those tight jeans. He looks a bit hesitant about swapping phones with you, and you think it’s probably because he’s never gotten a girl’s number before.

But of course, it’s actually because he’s embarrassed by his lockscreen, a bright photo of Snow with a soft yellow sundress and her guitar. You remember you’d been excited for that photoshoot because you didn’t have to do any of the usual pin-up modeling that your company loves to milk out of you. But it’ll forever leave a bitter taste in your mouth because of the guitar. It was merely a prop, and nothing more.

You don’t say anything as you input your number into his phone, but you’ll never understand his infatuation with an idol as one-dimensional as Snow. Especially when he hasn’t even met her.

-

As you walk down the halls of your company’s building, you try not to get your hopes up. Sure, your boss might’ve sent you a friendly little text about having an “open discussion” with you, but you know she probably already has her mind made up on whatever’ll be best for herself and her company.

Knock. “Come in,” an authoritative voice calls out from the other side of the door. A middle-aged lady with round reading glasses and an edgy A-line bob sits at her desk, hands clasped together, when you step into her office. Yang Sooyoung, CEO of Polar Entertainment, the woman you’ve despised for the majority of your idol career, gestures for you to take the seat in front of her. “How are you today, Snow?”

“Good,” you lie. She doesn’t really give a shit about your well-being anyway, so why bother humoring her.

“That’s good,” she nods. “Were you busy earlier?” You know she’s only asking you this because she’s ticked off that you didn’t come sooner.

“I was just running some errands on my day off.” She isn’t aware that you attend school, and you’d like to keep it that way.

“Oh, I see. But please do try to make this your priority, just as we make you ours.”

“Of course.”

“That being said, we believe it’s best for you to apologize for the recent incident with Park Jimin. After we release a statement, you’ll be able to enjoy your time away from idol work, free of stress.”

“What exactly do you want me to apologize for?” You try your best not to come off sounding too annoyed, but you were never good at acting. Or being fake.

“For being too friendly with the boy, and as a result, causing a misunderstanding.” For being too friendly with a boy? All you recall doing was talking to Jimin for five minutes max.

“I need to apologize for that?”

“Yes,” she nods, completely serious. “I know you shouldn’t have to apologize, but it’s the most efficient way of handling the situation. I spoke to a representative from Bloom Entertainment, and they’ve already dealt with Jimin’s side.”

“I’ll clarify what happened in order to clear up any misunderstanding,” you say. “But I’m still not going to say sorry when I did nothing wrong.”

Your boss raises her pointy eyebrows and shakes her head. “Snow, for the sake of damage control, please just apologize. It doesn’t matter if it’s genuine or not. We just need to handle things professionally here.”

It doesn’t matter if you’re genuine. Just hearing those words infuriates you. “I can’t pretend like I’m obligated to apologize all the time just because I’m an idol with flaws. I don’t owe society anything.”

“But you do owe me and my company something, don’t you think? Who gave you the opportunity to become an idol in the first place? Me. So if you can’t suck it up and apologize to preserve my company’s reputation, then don’t call yourself an idol.”

What you want to do is quit and let your shitty boss rot with her company. The only reason her company has prospered is because of you—not the other way around. Ever since becoming an idol, you’ve felt more dead than alive. Snow, the fabricated idol, may be prospering. But Y/N, the actual girl behind Snow’s mask, is fading.

At the same time, you know you can’t quit. Not for the sake of the company, nor for the sake of money and fame, but for the sake of becoming someone’s hero, anyone’s hero. If you could achieve that goal through other means, you would. But at this rate, being the idol you hate is all you can do to make people happy. At least for now.

So you make your apology and let PR handle the rest. In exchange, you’re given a maximum of half a year to get your shit together before your contract expires.

-

That night, you lay sprawled out on your bed in your pink penguin pajamas. Rather than filling your mind with the toxicity you’ve been dealing with for the past few days, you try to let it go for now. Despite the frustrating talk you had with your boss, reality is sinking in that you have a nice long break ahead. You can’t remember the last time you’ve felt so relieved. Free.

You even made a promise to yourself that you’d steer far, far away from anything Snow or idol-related for the next few weeks. And there are only two exceptions you’ll make.

The first exception is your manager. As your one and only friend, you do rely on Seokjin more than you’d like to admit. Because not only does he keep you from doing irrational things as an idol, he also keeps you company on your days off from work and school. The two of you get along quite well, and he’s the only person you can be yourself around. He’s like your life boat—without him, you surely would’ve sunk long ago.

The second exception is Witch Hazel. And as soon as you curl up into your bed, you go to the jk.seagull blog, now bookmarked on your phone’s browser. He has several short posts added to his blog since the last time you checked.

“asdfghjkl;;;;”

“sHE!!!”

“i cant believe snow saw witch hazel?? and even tweeted about it??”

“guys this makes me so happy :((((”

“brb crying”

“ok im back but holy fuck wow”

“anyway thank you guys so much for showing this comic a lot of love and support :(((”

“ill try my best to make pt.2 even better! i might be a little busy with art school, but please anticipate another update soon!”

He’s an art student like you. He’s enthusiastic about sharing his art with others, like the way you feel when releasing a new album. He’s genuinely grateful for the support from his audience, like the way you feel at the end of every concert. But he does it all behind a mask, just like you.

Just as you’re about to close your browser and text Seokjin about spending the night, a new post pops up on jk.seagull’s blog.

“lmao heres a sneak peek of pt.2 that no one asked for~”

Beneath the caption is a sketch of little Snow trying to make friends with a bunny boy character, but she fails because she’s too much of a stubborn tsundere. You assume this new bunny character must be a fellow superhero of some sort, a possible ally or maybe even a romantic interest. Either way, you find it both cute and hilarious. Snow could never have a romantic interest in real life, but you suppose it’s nice to dream. At the same time, you laugh because it’s true that you struggle with being too stubborn and closed off to make friends. Somehow, this jk.seagull guy knows you too well.

With that, you close your browser and open the messaging app on your phone. But rather than texting Seokjin like you had originally planned, you start a new chat.

9:37PM Y/N “Taehyung, Jungkook, let’s meet up tomorrow morning if you guys are free to work on the project”

9:38PM Y/N “💃💃💃”

You aren’t sure why you felt the need to include a stream of dancing girl emojis, but maybe it’s the least you can do in an effort to be more friendly.

9:40PM Taehyung “Yeah I’m not free lol”

9:40PM Jungkook “im free💃💃💃”

You’re so distracted by the fact that Jungkook reciprocated the same dancing girl emojis that you skim right over Taehyung’s message.

9:41PM Y/N “Good. Let’s meet at the mall tomorrow at 10?”

A/N: next time on dragon ball z, y/n and jungkook will legit interact, i swear💋

[akysi]

Always wanted to do one of these, and now I have. :D 8 years of improvement, wow! I’m also really bad at picking things so I don’t know if I picked the ones that best represent my progress, but eh. I did some edits, but the original base for this can still be found here. Extended thoughts about each year below, it’s a lot! Here’s to bigger and better things in 2019 (please ;_;)

2010: I started drawing digitally in 2006, though regrettably I didn’t save any of the art I did back then. 2010 was when I joined DeviantART, and thus when I started uploading art online. I had frequented DA well before that though (from about 2007 I think), and influence from the artists I followed are pretty evident. A few notable ones were ShaloneSK, Fourth-Star (now SeaSaltShrimp), and thazumi, all primarily dragon artists. Though none of my traditional art is showcased here, this was still a time when I did it often, usually via doodles in class when I was bored. The digital art you see here was made with my first tablet, a Wacom Graphire 3, and Photoshop Elements 3 that came with it. I had little knowledge of file quality, layering, colouring, and other mainstays in using Photoshop properly. Humble beginnings are these! My art education at this point was limited at best, but art was always something I did in my spare time. And like all of the art years leading up to 2010, I drew almost entirely dragons. Aside from practicing foxes for a story I had at the time, I wasn’t interested in drawing much else. I didn’t draw people at all until college, but we’ll get to that. 2011: Christmas 2010 / New Year’s 2011 marked the time I got Photoshop CS5, a version of PS I still use today. For a while I was obsessed with the idea of PS’s Pen Tool, as I saw it could give me much cleaner line art than what I could achieve on my own. I was finally able to test that when getting CS5, and while it worked well for the time, I soon learned the tenets of line weight and tapering, something I would have to practice myself. Up to this point all of my lines were either shaky or fabricated via the Pen Tool, and it shows. This was also a year of trying to mimic Fourth-Star’s dynamic perspective...without any knowledge of how it actually worked. Not a lot of improvement happened here outside of that. 2012: This was the year I bought my Bamboo Create tablet, something I still use with my laptop nowadays. I remember trying it out at my friend’s house before I bought my own, and really loving how I was able to do the line tapering without the pen tool. It still took a lot more practice, but looking back now it was easy to see I was on the way to making line art one of my art’s strongest qualities; something that stays true today. I find it ironic that line art used to be one of the weakest aspects of my digital art, but I suppose that speaks to how far I’ve come. I did more fanart this year, oddly enough. I’d always done it before but I guess I felt shy about sharing it. Notable fandoms were Danny Phantom and Sonic. I didn’t grow up with either, but ended up liking them both a lot, and would doodle them as much as my dragons. 2013: I graduated high school and started my first year of art college, specifically Art Fundamentals at Sheridan College. At this point, everyone I knew pointed to that school (and only that school) for anything related to what I wanted to do; if it wasn’t fine art, go to Sheridan. So I went into college with a bit of tunnel vision at first, but I knew from the start that I would be gunning for animation. Not to animate specifically, but to do character design / concept art for animation. I would learn later on what having this tunnel vision would mean for me, but we’ll get to that later too. This is about the point where more expansion of design and subject matter occurs, albeit slowly. The art featured here doesn’t include my schoolwork, but the much needed increase of anatomy, structure drawing and other college level art courses started me on a path to better things. I still had a long way to go though, and Fundies could only do so much. Unlike most people I actually got decent practice from it given my limited art background, but I still can’t say it was at peak efficiency. This was the first year I actually started drawing people, and it certainly didn’t come without its growing pains.

2014: Surprising no one, I didn’t get into Sheridan after my first year, though that didn’t stop me from being disappointed at the time. I took what was effectively the second year of Fundies, called Visual and Creative Arts (VCA). This was the year that sparked my interest in graphic / logo design, an interesting turn of events all things considered, and that would stick with me a lot more than I expected. This year also featured a few smatterings of character designs, or more specifically design sheets with multiple views, costumes, etc. Character design was a required segment of the animation portfolio, so this is likely what spurred my practice in it, aside from my pre-existing interest. That does not mean I knew how to rotate a character though, yikes! At this point I’d gotten pretty good at clean line art in Photoshop with my current tablet, as well as the merits of high quality imagery. There was a lot of purple in this year and 2015, though that’s nothing really new for me.

2015: This was easily the busiest (and most path altering) year. Second semester of VCA happened during this time, but also what would be new beginnings for me. If I didn’t get into Sheridan animation, I had a choice to make for a plan B: Either stay at Sheridan for VCA Year 3 and try again for animation, or try to get into animation at another school. My buddy Amelia then dropped Seneca’s name in one of my elective classes, and I had no idea how much of a fateful conversation that would be. She mentioned it was considered a second to or even better than Sheridan, and that at least provided a clearer answer for me. A lot of trepidation followed: I didn’t get into Sheridan animation for the third time, and thus applied to Seneca (and a few other places). I was pretty scared of being a first year again at a new school with new people, and while my art definitely reflected the time I spent at Sheridan, I had no confidence in it being good enough for a portfolio given my track record. But low and behold, I got in! I was on my way to a three year rollercoaster of all-nighters, amazing ride-or-die classmates, and relentless, rigorous training. The art from this year does reflect this, both in quantity and quality of uploads, though in more of a “transition period” kind of way. This was the year I really started to draw human characters, most notably with the creation of my first comic project: Starglass Zodiac. This was the first time I had a story idea with a primarily human cast, much less a comic idea, though the designs for them didn’t start appearing in my uploads until the following year. As you might expect I didn’t have a lot of confidence in drawing people. Ironically, my first year of animation taught me all the skills I initially needed for the portfolios!

2016: When I mentioned a path altering year for 2015, I was referring specifically to the path in my art education. 2016 was a path altering year for everything else, and a polarizing one at that. 2016 was a year that was kind to no one, and while the details of what happened to me are not really relevant to this post, there’s no denying what effect it had behind the scenes. This was the year that I fully realized I’d developed symptoms of depression, and with my increasing anxiety to match, this didn’t (and still doesn’t) go so well. I don’t think that’s really reflected in my art, however. Regardless of my mental state, the outside view of my art still features the colourful characters that they always had. By this point I was in my finishing first year / starting second year, and this was easily the best time for me. My time to shine, if you will, at least when it came to character design class. We had an overarching story project that was perfect for SGZ, so I used that time to develop the characters. The double-edged sword of troubled times is my escapism is cranked to 11, so this was probably the year that spurred the most story ideas out of me. This year (and part of the next) started both Id Pariah and Feather Knights. I got my iPad Pro for Christmas this year too, and that proved to be a game changer in the amount of art I could make. I was already used to the Cintiqs at my school, and I was lucky to finally have a screen tablet of my own. 2017: The end of my second year and the beginning of my third and final year of animation. Classes split, streams chosen and a world of missed opportunities began. I didn’t do a lot of art at the beginning of the year, aside from the beginning of my Feather Knights stuff. On top of that, my college had a 5-week long teacher’s strike that literally no one wanted to be a part of, effectively derailing all hope for a good semester. Attempting to do a short film project with this happening was a recipe for disaster. During this strike was the start of my first month long challenge though: Huevember. It was an uncertain time, and most of us were not compelled to get much school work done. Completing Huevember did feel like an accomplishment though, as I was actually able to keep up with it even when school started again. I’d say this art year focused a lot on colour for this reason. What art I was able to complete outside of my schoolwork saw a lot of expansion in that area. In all honesty 2016-2018 tends to blend together for me, for better or worse. 2018: My graduating year. The strike did its damage to my final semester too, but ultimately I survived. Despite completing 5 years of college, my path became the most unclear. Third year taught me a lot of things about myself and how I approach art, but most were not positive revelations. The expectations set out for me are ones that I cannot achieve. However, I have more time than ever to do art, making this year the most art I’ve made to date. I also participated in Inktober, which reminded me how far I’ve come as an artist, despite not doing traditional art for what felt like a century. My illustrative work for Inktober ended up being some of my best art this year, and the prompts made me get creative in more ways than one. The dark cloud hanging over my head has not disappeared since 2016 however, and the toll that has taken shows more everyday. As far as my art was concerned I did more of what I loved, mostly in the form of character sheets and designs. It’s all I can do, for now. 2019, I have one thing to say: Don’t you DARE.

[michiigii-writes-mysme]

A Day for Firsts

RFA Coffee House AU - Valentine’s Day

Pairing: Yoosung x MC

Summary: The RFA are baristas at Rika and V’s cafe.  Contains fluff!  …Not as dirty as the title sounds. <3

Word Count: Approx. 3000

Protip:  The ever-so-generous @digitalscratch-arting bestowed upon me an illustration!  Go check dat art out!

“Are you ready, Yoosung?”

The college student had never heard such a loaded question, before.  He had spent hours studying the Coffee Shoppe’s 30 different menu drinks.  He had practiced cute writing for the cups when he wrote each customer’s name.  And the night before, he had stayed late with Zen, learning how the expresso machine worked.

But was he ready?

“I am ready...to throw up,” he offered, smiling weakly at the cafe manager.

Rika tried not to sigh at that, closing her eyes for a moment to collect herself, before smiling serenely at her younger cousin.

“How can you throw up if you did not have breakfast?” she asked sweetly.

“You didn’t eat breakfast?!” Seven asked, aghast.  However, neither cousin heard him, so he continued doing his morning prep work.

“Maybe I shouldn’t start, today,” Yoosung suggested, tugging nervously at his uniform apron, “I should keep practicing drinks in the back room…”

“Last week, you made most of the drinks that we served,” Rika pointed out, reaching behind her cousin to adjust his collar, “You’re going to be fine.  The twins will be here with you, all day.”

Yoosung still hesitated, glancing around the cafe.  What had once been a quiet, comfortable study place for him, now felt like a battlefield.  Saeran and Seven were still in the process of prepping the coffee house for the day, while Yoosung and Rika spoke behind the counter.  Saeran was tidying up the flavoured syrups and milks, making sure they had enough for at least their morning rush.  Seven was cheerfully drawing hearts on the windows, his red and pink markers squeaking on the windowpanes.  The sun was barely up, and there were no customers, yet, but already, the coffee shop was buzzing.

The cafe that his cousin, Rika, managed with her fiance, V, had only been in business for a couple years, but it had already developed a strong standing within its community.  It was within walking distance of Yoosung’s campus, SKY University, and was visible from the main road that most businessmen took towards work.  The attractive, but generally genteel baristas were a hit with both students and workers alike, and within such a short time, there were already a good number of regulars frequenting Rika’s Coffee Shoppe.  The humble cafe had become quite popular.

And, of course, the cafe made a point of decorating their building and customizing their drinks whenever a holiday rolled around.  This was always attractive to trendy coffee-drinkers and new couples.  It didn’t take a genius to know that they would be busy on Valentine’s Day.

Yoosung was beginning to regret that this was the day he would begin his part-time job.

“I don’t wanna do this, anymore,” Yoosung whimpered, giving Rika sad puppy eyes.

“Well, your mom will kill me if I let you quit now,” Rika said firmly, eyeing her cousin’s bangs, “You’re growing up and need to start earning your keep.”

“I thought doing well in school was ‘earning my keep’,” Yoosung whined, fresh tears appearing at the corners of his eyes.

“It was, until school got expensive,” Rika sighed, fumbling in her pockets for a moment.

With a happy smile, she pulled out two hairpins from her pocket.  Cheerfully, she stuck them into Yoosung’s hair, effectively keeping his bangs out of his eyes.

“What’s that for?” Yoosung asked, frowning up at his forehead.

“We can’t let you shed your hair into the drinks,” Rika explained sunnily, “That would be gross.”

“There are little hearts on the pins!” he exclaimed irritably, not at all happy.

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Rika shrugged.

“I’m a man,” Yoosung protested, balling his hands into fists, “Men do not wear heart hair pins to keep their bangs out of their eyes!”

Rika opened her mouth to argue, then stopped when the tinkling of a bell signalled that the cafe’s door was open.  Turning to the entrance, she smiled when she saw who it was.

“V!  You’re early!” she exclaimed, hurrying across the room to embrace her fiance.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” V smiled, returning her hug with an affectionate peck on the cheek.

The two of them shared a cuddly moment, together.  Yoosung could hear Seven pretending to gag, knowing that Saeran was pointedly ignoring the couple while he continued to work.  V and Rika always had to be that gross PDA couple; this sort of behaviour was normal for them.  But that wasn’t what had Yoosung annoyed, this time.

Even from across the room, he could see that V had heart hair pins holding some of his hair back.

“Oh, V, you look so festive with those pins!” Rika praised, touching them lightly.

They laughed together, then Rika gave Yoosung a pointed look.

“Look at my sexy man,” she purred, earning a warm smile from V.

“I hate you both a lot, right now,” the student said bluntly.

“His eyes look so dead,” Saeran muttered to his brother.

“I know,” V said lightly, responding to Yoosung.  He knew Yoosung loved him, albeit deep, deep down.

With an air of finality, Rika hooked her arm with V’s and looked back at Yoosung.

“We’re going to head out.  You’re going to be fine, Yoosung,” she said soothingly, all of her teasing gone.  She liked to poke fun at her younger cousin, but she honestly wanted him to succeed, and she knew that being a barista in her shop was a good place to start.  Even if he never got into business or food service, he would still gain things like social skills and personal confidence.  She had high hopes for Yoosung.

“Don’t worry about him,” Seven said cheerfully, walking up to Yoosung and draping a friendly arm around his shoulders, “I’ll make sure he doesn’t take more than he can handle.”

“That worries me, a little,” V said softly, barely moving his lips so that only Rika could hear.

“Don’t go, noona,” Yoosung pouted.

“I’ll visit you at lunch,” she replied, letting V lead her towards the door, “Have fun!  You’ll be fine!”

Longingly, Yoosung watched the couple leave the cafe; neither of them looked back.  Yoosung guessed they already had all day planned out for the two of them.  They had always been sweet to each other, but ever since they had gotten engaged, they had gotten worse.

“We’re gonna have fun, today, Yoosung!” Seven said optimistically, clapping his friend on the back, “C’mon!  One of our regulars is gonna come right at opening time; we have to be ready for her.”

“Really?” Yoosung glanced at the clock.  “...we open at 7am.”

The blond looked at his friend questioningly, then froze when something about the redhead’s appearance registered in his brain, “Um…”

“She likes to come to campus early so that she can get some last-minute reading done in the library,” Seven explained, leading his friend by the shoulders to the counter, “I bet she’ll order her usual!”

“Um...Seven?  Did you always have your hair like that?”

Somewhere along the line, Seven had pulled his hair up into twin pigtails, held up in place with scrunchies that had been decorated in pink and red hearts.  And the redhead managed to make it look good.

“Don’t I look fancy?” Seven chirped, framing his face with his hands to look as cute as possible, “Real men dress up for Valentine’s Day!”

“Am I the only one that didn’t plan for today?” Yoosung blurted out, frustrated, “...and is that why Saeran’s hair is white, today?”  Saeran usually only dyes his hair white when he’s mad at Seven…

“...it was supposed to be pink,” Saeran sighed, touching his hair gently.

“It’s ok, little bro, it does look pink,” Seven said softly, patting his brother on the shoulder sympathetically, then turning and giving Yoosung a terse stage whisper, “Don’t point out his hair; he’s sensitive!”

“You know, I can hear you…”

Yoosung and Saeran shared a sigh.  Seven was always well-behaved around Rika and V, but the second they left, he was back to his mischievous self.

Again, the storefront bell tinkled.  With a start, Yoosung looked to the entrance eagerly; maybe Rika had come back for him.  Instead, a girl about his age was there at the door, cautiously coming in.  She was looking straight at him; with a gulp, he straightened his back.  For some reason, instinctively, he did not want to disappoint her.

“Good morning…!” she said hesitantly, not recognizing the new barista at the register, “Um…”

The student cast her eyes across the counter, then relaxed when she saw that Seven and Saeran were also there.

“Hey!” she said warmly, smiling at the two of them, “Are you guys open, yet?”

“We can’t open without you,” Seven quipped smoothly, returning the smile as he hurried to join Yoosung’s side, “The usual?”

“Yes, please!” she answered, and, with a polite nod to Yoosung, she moved to the end where her drink would eventually be delivered.  She leaned slightly onto the counter there, conspiratorially drawing close to Saeran.  Yoosung could barely hear her whisper, “Did Seven do something bad, this morning?”

“It’s supposed to be pink...”

“Oh...”

“What’s her usual?” Yoosung asked Seven, already picking up a to-go cup.

“A mocha,” Seven answered, sagely nodding, “Her ‘hot chocolate with a kick,’ she calls it.  Do you think you can handle it?”

Yoosung hesitated.  This would be the first official drink that he would serve to a paying customer.

“...yes,” he finally answered, nodding firmly.

A mocha wasn’t hard...it was half hot chocolate and half coffee.  It was a chocolate latte.  He could handle this.  This was not.  Hard.

“If we observe the humble Yoosung in his natural habitat, watch how his hands shake as he prepares the espresso with extra vigor,” Seven said to the others in his best nature documentary voice.

Yoosung spared a moment to glare balefully at his friend before continuing with his work.  She called it “hot chocolate with a kick” right?  So...maybe he should put more hot chocolate, but with a stronger shot of espresso…

“Crikey, what a beaut’.  Such adorable crinkles on his forehead.  Really brings out the red in his hairpins.”

“First of all, your Australian accent needs work,” the girl said, chuckling lightly, “And second of all, be nicer to him!  It’s his first day, right?”

“Thank you!” Yoosung said gratefully, giving her a relieved smile, “This is my first job and he’s being a jerk!”

“Brother’s always a jerk,” Saeran muttered, playing with one of the cardboard cozies.

“True...” Yoosung and the girl nodded at the same time.

Surprised at their synchronicity, the two of them looked at each other, again.  The eye-contact they shared was...oddly poignant.  Quickly, they both looked away.  Saeran noticed the exchange; Seven, however, was too busy adjusting his hair.

“I think these scrunchies may have been a mistake,” Seven said, trying to tighten a pigtail.

“You were a mistake,” Saeran muttered.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“I have your mocha...” Yoosung picked up the drink, carefully walking it towards the end of the counter, “Right...he-”

“I can’t believe you would call me a mistake!” Seven declared dramatically, flinging his arms wide for emphasis.

In an attempt to walk around Seven before handing the girl her drink, Yoosung was in the perfect position for Seven to knock the cup out of his hand when he moved his arms.  While nobody could do anything but watch, the cup was flung to the side, spinning rather majestically through the air, until it landed firmly against Saeran’s front.  To everyone’s collective horror, the hot drink splashed up against his chest, then seeped slowly down his front, inescapably becoming one with the sturdy green fabric.

“GRAB A TOWEL!” Seven screeched, running into the back room, “A TOWEL!”

“OMG, Saeran, I am so sorry!” Yoosung cried, rushing to grab napkins from the counter.

“Saeran, are you okay!?” the girl exclaimed, handing Yoosung more towels, “Quick, take the apron off before you burn!”

“It’s okay…” Saeran said, too calmly, slowly taking off his uniform apron.

The article of clothing came off easily, revealing that Saeran had absolutely no brown liquid on his shirt front; the apron had suffered all the damage.

“Oh, you’re not hurt!” the girl was relieved.

“You’re okay!” Yoosung exclaimed, then quailed when he got a glimpse of Saeran’s expression, “U...um…”

“It’s not your fault…” Saeran said slowly, tilting his head to the side, “You didn’t flap your arms around a hot drink like a maniac...you’re okay...it’s okay...everything is o...kay…!”

The door to the back room started to swing open.

“I found some towels-” Seven started, sticking his head through the doorway.

Immediately, Yoosung slammed the door shut again, preventing Seven from coming back into the same room as his brother.

“His hair is white, Seven!” Yoosung yelled through the door, “His hair is white!”

A blood-curdling screech came through the door, and then all three of the remaining youths heard panicked footsteps running away.  Momentarily, a back door slammed, and a car was heard starting and peeling away from the parking lot.

And then there was nothing but silence, and hot drink quietly drip-dripping onto the floor from the apron in Saeran’s arms.  The girl stayed unmoving at the counter, her eyes trained on the two baristas.  Saeran was completely still, staring at the ruined apron in his hands.  And Yoosung was completely frozen, unable to look away at the silently enraged boy in front of him.

Neither the girl nor Yoosung had any idea what they should do.  All they knew was that moving was not an option.

Tick…

Tick…

Tick…!

Finally, Saeran shifted his weight.  Smoothly, he leaned forward, and put a sticky, warm hand on Yoosung’s shoulder.

“You should make our beloved customer’s drink for her,” Saeran said silkily, an inscrutable smile on his face.

“But...but the mess-” Yoosung started.

“Just agree with him!” the girl hissed.

“Now, now...no reason to worry,” the white-haired boy shook his head unhurriedly, still smiling, “The apron is fine.  It is only chocolate and coffee.  And I shall wipe up the floors.  I simply need a mop.  From the back room.  I am going to go to the back room...”

The hand on Yoosung’s shoulder suddenly turned into a vice; before he knew it, the blond was facing the other direction, holding a new cup and already part-way through pouring hot chocolate.  Saeran, however, left the room, taking the dripping apron with him.  Glancing at the floor, Yoosung saw a trail of brown droplets marking Saeran’s path along the floor.  

He tried not to think of dead bodies.  

He hoped Seven would be okay.

“...Ok...here’s your mocha,” Yoosung said, after a long, somewhat nervous silence, interrupted only by pouring sounds, “Oh!  Do you like whipped cream?”

“I love whipped cream!” the girl answered, and all tension in the room was dispelled by her smile.

Heartened, Yoosung cheerfully swirled a generous amount of whipped cream onto the top of the cup, and placed it before his customer.  She reached for it, but without thinking, he placed a hand on hers, stopping her.

There was something in that touch.

Reflexively, they both moved back.  She cradled her hand against her chest for a moment, stunned.  He felt his face flushing, but to cover it, he grabbed the thing that he had stopped her for:  the chocolate syrup.  With a bashful smile, he decorated the top of the whipped cream with a chocolate heart.

“There.  For you,” he said, motioning to the cup with his free hand.

“Thank you!” she laughed lightly, and hurried to take a sip of the drink, “...oh!  It’s really, really good!  This is the best mocha I’ve ever had!”

“Really?” Yoosung leaned against the counter eagerly, “You mean it?  You’re not just saying that?”

“I love it!  It’s delicious!” she nodded, her smile brightening, “Thank you...oh...are you okay?”

She put the drink down and put her hands out towards Yoosung, not really sure what she should do with them.

Because suddenly, Yoosung was crying.

“You really like it?” he asked again, tears overflowing from his eyes.

“Yes!  It’s really good!  Why are you crying?!” she exclaimed, wondering if maybe she should hand him some napkins.  Or one of the towels Seven had found.

“That was my first drink, ever!” Yoosung sobbed, vainly wiping away his tears with his hands, “And you liked it!”

“Yes, I love it!” the girl said, laughing a little incredulously before making herself stop, “You don’t have to cry!  It’s good!  ...Really!  I love it!”

“Today is my first day, and I spilled a drink, and my coworkers both left me alone…!” Yoosung hiccuped, trying to get control of his tears, “And Rika’s marrying such a dweeeeeb…!”

“Aw...Ok, breathe!  Just breathe!” the girl handed him some napkins, comfortingly patting his shoulder, “There, there...cheer up, Yoosung!  Look on the bright side:  You are never going to forget today!”

“Th-that’s a good way to look at it,” Yoosung sniffled, finally getting a hold of his emotions, “Oh...I’m so sorry...You must think I’m such a loser…”

“No, no...I think you’ve had a really trying first day on the job.  But you’re not a loser!” the girl smiled sunnily, “Please, cheer up!  You’re doing really well!  Yaaay, Yoosung!”

Yoosung laughed shakily, at that.

“Are you my cheerleader, now?” he sniffed, looking bashfully at the girl.

“Sure!  Look at Superman Yoosung, choosing Valentine’s Day as his first day on the job,” the girl grinned, “He’s so cute, and so tough!  He saw a challenge, and he took it!”

“Aw…” Yoosung humbly waved the compliments off, “...Although, I am a bit cute!”

“Yeah, you are!”

There was a short, strained pause, then the two of them burst out laughing.  They were both being ridiculous.  So ridiculous.  And she was being so sweet.  And he was being so cute.  So sweet, and so cute...

Finally, the air in the cafe seemed to relax.  Yoosung knew that he was being ridiculous.  The rest of day would go a lot smoother; he knew it.

“...So...you come here a lot?” he asked shyly.

“Every morning,” she nodded, blushing lightly, “Um...you’re going to work here, now?”

“Yup!” he replied, “Every...uh...every morning!”

Both of their faces reddened.  They would be seeing a lot more of each other, they knew.

And both of them were 110% okay with that.

And that’s how Yoosung met his MC.

-fin-

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Also, a bonus image:

Check @digitalscratch-arting out!

[whenstudyblooms]

Happy new year everyone! To start the new year off, why not write a smol guide on new year’s resolutions for the studyblr community? Some may think that resolutions are dimwitted and pointless, but in my perspective I believe that it is your attitude, intentions, and truthfulness that influence how you stick to them throughout the year. If you are reading this post much later on in the year, don’t feel like you can’t make resolutions; “new year’s resolution” is nothing but a timely label. C:

✽ Create realistic resolutions: Very very important! Only set such goals that are within or a little higher than your capabilities. Rather than saying that you’re going to start studying for 6 hours every single day when you’ve only been doing 3 hours every other day, maybe do 3 hours everyday or 4 hours every other day. It really depends on who you are, but just remember to consider everything around your life such as your health, extracurriculars, etc.

✽ Change what NEEDS to be changed: Ya know, I’m a fan of being disciplined to yourself because I think it’s important for success. Hence, reflecting back on the past year and identifying the negatives is how you determine what you need to alter. For example, if you’ve been getting too distracted that you often lose track of time, don’t put that bad habit off!! Consulting a family member or friend can help you determine what you can fix.

✽ Make them specific: This is a way to get disciplined with your resolutions and stick to them throughout the year. Structure or elaborate your wording so that there can’t be any loopholes. Instead of saying that you’re going to sleep earlier, set a number like 8 hours. Just don’t be too hard on yourself!

✽ Stay consistent: The reason why we fail to fulfill our resolutions is because we only have that motivation in the beginning, and that spark soon dies out. Constantly remind yourself of the goals you want to achieve—write them on a post-it and stick them right on top of your desk. I also suggest keeping a tracker if you’re a fan of that! ^^

✽ You may not achieve every resolution, and that’s okay: As human beings, we’re not perfect creatures. Even successful people fall into some folly sometimes. Just remember to try your very best and take care of yourself along the way!

My New Year’s Resolutions: (bc why not share em to put dat pressure on me to achieve em! :D) ✽ be more: kind, full of love, healthy, humble, faithful, disciplined (with studies!), bubbly, consistent ✽ journal almost everyday: personal and french journal (especially!); make it a habit to write during weekend mornings ✽ Make my bed EVERYDAY!! “No time” is no excuse anymore ✽ prepare for college! GET TO THE MINDSET! ✽ always keep in touch with my friends <3 ✽ DRAW MORE especially for my art portfolio ✽ read more: philosophy, sustainability, architecture, history, art, scientific theories, politics ✽ take care of your friends’ health! (let them sleep early) ✽ actually try to save money? ✽ listen to more music of different genres -> EXPLORE AND DON’T BE AFRAID TO TRY NEW THINGS ✽ be more active in my study social media; please find more time to have a schedule!!!; also write more advice posts

Thank you very much for reading through! I hope everyone is going to have an amazing year full of greater successes to come~!

[allisonperryart]

The Business of Art w/ Jeremy Cranford (Blizzard Entertainment) @ The Art Institute of California Inland Empire (7/29/17)

Special thanks to Jeremy Cranford and Thomas Brilliante for making this event possible. For more updates on future events like this in the southern California area, please consider following Inland Arts on FaceBook. (Text-only version of this document available on FaceBook)

James Cranford’s life

Humble beginnings: migrant parents, food stamps, etc.

Attending college was difficult because of finances, but he ended up studying graphic design because he got a scholarship

After doing graphic design for years, he got an art directing job with "Magic the Gathering” and working in games/illustration since 1996

Worked on “Metal World” style guide for “Mirrodin” set (2002)

What would environments look like on a metal planet? Rust, things hovering with magnetism, rolling silver plane, big metal spikes, mercury seas, retina green forests

Environments help you solve what the humanoids/creatures will look like in the environment

The humanoids/creatures? Enamel/scabs is replaced with metal, big metal bracers on humanoids

Also worked on "Spirit World” style guide for "Kamigawa” set (2003)

Started with the desire to help MtG sell better in Japan, which was a challenge because traditionally MtG is based on Arthurian lore/visuals

Unsure about just having American/Western artists riff on Japanese imagery, so he hired some Japanese artists to create more authentic content, which resulted in a very different feel

Example of a brief he didn’t like that he turned around into an engaging project

Also worked on “Ravnica” style guide

Brief: “overdeveloped urban fantasy setting”

Mountains = smelting buildings

Lead was very against having buildings on land cards, but this is an example of Jeremy challenging convention… why could land cards have buildings!?

Risked his job on this point because he really believed in it, and it ended up being a great decision

The creative solution may be an uphill battle, but it will always win out

Plains = created by the tops of buildings, inspired from looking out at the city from the World Trade Center

Swamps = city sewers, obviously

Forest = where they grew their food

First set when they started mixing colors (which are like “cultures” in MtG lore), which was an awesome opportunity to expand and develop new ideas

Blue/green = technology elves

Black/green = voodoo elves (inspired by New Orleans)

Black/red = fire demons, obviously

White/black = basically Catholicism

Red/white = military

Blue/red = mage + technology

First set to have a promo video (inspired by game cinematic trailers, intended to introduce the world)

Began working on World of Warcraft at Blizzard when they released a trading card game

Style was a bit of a learning curve (less realistic, more stylized)

Soon after, started working on miniatures game, which taught him a lot about manufacturing and allowed him to travel to China, etc.

He took a risk and left Blizzard to start a start-up with his friends called Solforge

It was fun for about 6 months, but he never regretted the experience because he learned a lot 

Goal was to push things more sic-fi (nuclear winter world) 

His philosophy over the years has been to take risks, embrace junctures in life, and have faith in the direction you’re going

Every time he took a risk, the pay off ended up being worth it 

The universe has a way of showing you the path that’s most right for you 

He says most of what he’s tried never works out, and he just ends up doing the next best thing - which turns out to be his career 

Doesn’t always know what he wants to do, but definitely knows what he doesn’t want to do 

Always wants to challenge convention 

“Don’t try to make the art you do what you think it should do, rather let the art take you where it wants to go.” - Ben Thompson 

“Leap, and build your wings while you’re falling.” - Ray Bradbury Finds inspiration from Borge Ousland (first human to go from Russia to Alaska)

Saw people’s discouragement as feedback/critique 

Constant failures for 10 years, but learned a little every step of the way that led to his eventual success 

Stick with it

Also finds inspiration from Richard MacDonald (inspirational sculptor, experienced a lot of misfortune, embodies the blind faith Jeremy talks about)

Advice for mastering your craft, building a portfolio, and being a professional

Being an art director is like being a coach - if the product isn’t performing well, the company looks to replace the art director 

It may take you longer to master your craft than 4 years in college (DaVinci took 7 years)… be patient with yourself! 

When he looks for an artist, he looks for a professional

Master your skills

Master drawing, anatomy, and rendering light onto form

Go to life drawing regularly… even if you’re not in school 

He oftentimes looks at the hands

Master design, not just drawing realistically

Creaturebox is a great example 

Large, medium, small shapes 

High density detail (busy) vs. low density detail (rest)

Master painting and color theory

Nathan Fowkes is a great example 

The best color is not always the most “realistic” colour

Master composition, eye flow, value groups, and negative shapes

Wayne Reynolds and Frazetta are great examples 

If you’re struggling, check out Edgar Payne’s book on composition 

Have a plan before you paint and add all your detail 

Jomaro adds “working in threes” is a good idea - working in twos becomes “equal” and too “balanced”

Master story, emphasis, mood, and point of view

Ian McQue's work in the “John Carpenter” art book is a great example 

Just because your rendering is perfect doesn’t mean people will care about what you’re drawing 

What are you trying to communicate? Write that down and make sure you execute it! 

Creating without a clear objective is a waste of time

Don’t cheat yourself - if you’re trying to hide your flaws… fix them!

Don’t use effects/tricks to hide your shortcomings

After you master your skills, target a market and advertise yourself (ArtStation, DeviantArt contests, etc.)

Send out cold-emails 

See if you can get current employees to refer you to art directors 

If you get rejected, evaluate your work and actually assign yourself tasks to improve on it

Pro life tips!!

Don’t be a drunk (why party when you can improve your skill?) 

Dedicate yourself to your career/something higher/something you love 

Have some range (in your portfolio) - never say “that’s not my style!”

Consider: reality vs. fantasy (in content), realism vs, abstraction (in style)

“I’m on it!” Never be an emotional tax on your team/leads - art directors will always go back to the artists that make things easy

This doesn’t mean be a pushover

"Show me the Money!” Think about how much you’re being paid and how many hours you’re putting in… are you even getting paid minimum wage?

If you’re being paid less than you’re worth/less than minimum wage, it’s not worth it… and you’re hurting the whole industry! 

You’re better off investing in yourself - work at Starbucks and build a strong portfolio at night/on the weekends

As your skills go up, the money goes up (you need to go from good to great if you’re going to make it) 

Do you know why you do what you do?

If it’s for the money… maybe you should just go into banking, because this isn’t really a path to make money 

Jeremy does it because he simply enjoys it, which takes the pressure off

"You’re okay, I’m okay”

Growing up, Jeremy had a lot of depression because he was seeking external approval 

If you get your approval from within, you aren’t giving the power to others to put you down 

You’re the final authority on how you fell about yourself, how you treat others, and what you love and want to do

There’s beauty in diversity - just be good to each other and celebrate your differences

Question time!

Where should I go to school?

Depends on what you want and how your learn best - really successful people have not gone anywhere and really unsuccessful people have gone to great schools 

Maybe consider non-traditional schooling like GumRoad and New Masters Academy 

At the end of the day, you need the skills, and however you get them doesn’t really matter

How do you manage your time to develop range and show that range in a portfolio?

When you email an AD/recruiter, consider attaching 3 images that highlight what that contact is looking for in the email… and then lead them to the rest of your work if they’re interested

That’s all you need for “portfolio geared to a company” - you don’t need a full portfolio geared to a portfolio if you have 3-5 images you can attach to an email

Keep your portfolio updated! Don’t leave up bad work from a long time ago! 

Even when you’re not asked to, following up on feedback from ADs/recruiters with new work is a great way to stay in contact and establish your worth 

If you gear your portfolio towards one company and you can’t get into that company, you might have trouble getting into other companies 

However, if you have a very rangey portfolio, sometimes all you need is an art test to prove you can execute the style 

Know your stylistic limitations, too - if you know you can’t do something, don’t waste your time and the AD/recruiter’s 

Having trouble focusing? Set an explicit goal for yourself/make an assignment for yourself… and set a deadline for it (or else you’ll never finish it)!

How do you connect with an AD without being annoying but also not getting ignored?

ADs are busy people, at the end of the day 

Consider joining a forum/contest… sometimes your peers are better critics for you than an AD 

Develop a circle of trust (people you trust to give you good feedback) 

When you do meet an AD, remember “everyone is people…” don’t be weird about it! 

Don’t be embarrassed/ashamed of negative feedback… own it and be fearless! 

Remember: it’s normal to ask ADs/recruiters to look at your work… just ask for permission, give them an opportunity to say “no,” and if they do say “no,” offer to follow-up or leave your email/card 

Also remember to maintain relationships with professionals, because they might be keeping an eye on you and hire you in the future… address their feedback, explain how you improved, etc.

How do you form a good narrative in a painting?

“Create a picture that has a gap for the viewer to fill in”/“Don’t answer/render everything” (Jomaro adds - “like a trailer!”) - Frazetta is a great example of this 

Engage the viewers curiosity and get them to want to know what’s happening 

Maybe look at storyboard artists/sequential artists 

Also maybe identify a feeling/single word/etc. that embodies your piece… and strive to communicate it fully! 

You can execute a complex idea in a very simple way

Do ADs judge you on your backlog/old work?

Always be producing work, or else you’re stagnant! 

Always update your work with your newest stuff 

ADs love seeing jumps in quality! 

ADs aren’t gonna judge you for old work they find in a deep-dive, but be sure to put your best foot forward and have that easiest to find

What can you do to stay in touch while you’re waiting for a response on an art test?

Once you submit the test, it’s out of your hands 

If it’s been a week, try following up with HR asking if there’s anything else you can do 

If you get radio silence, it’s not the end of the world - be positive about your experience and open to future opportunities

Do you need to master digital/PhotoShop/ZBrush/etc. just like you master anatomy/colour/etc.?

If you’re skills and design are good, they’ll show through in any medium, but at the same time, not knowing PhotoShop at all can get you dinged when working in-house

What was your favourite project to work on and what did you learn from it?

“Ravnica,” because he struggled with self-doubt and had to put his job on the line for something he believes in 

HearthStone has also been a blast

Is there anything outside of art that helps you as an artist?

Everything he’s told you not to do, he did himself, which is why he’s trying to help you avoid it 

Letting go of the idea that his self-worth was determined by how other people saw him… compete only against yourself 

It helped to stop taking himself so seriously and just have fun… eliminated the pressure and lets the creativity flow

Stop trying to get everyone to like you and your work! 

Don’t just be a theory expert… put things into practice! 

The biggest thing people are lacking is the mileage

Don’t get deflated by feedback… actually integrate it! 

Don’t get discouraged by people who are better than you that have been doing it for longer… that’s normal!

[humansofhds]

Carly Matas, MDiv ’17

“I feel a strong kinship with people who have so much to love and hate from their old tradition. It gives you a unique relationship to that tradition—one that puts you in the position of being meaningfully critical yet also ceaselessly empathetic and sympathetic.”

Carly Matas graduated from HDS with a master of divinity degree in May 2017. She is now working on her PhD at Princeton University, where she studies contemporary American evangelicalism and media.

Religious Literacy

I was raised as a conservative Evangelical Christian. That’s something that ties a lot of us at HDS together—a number of us come from a slightly fundamentalist background. Maybe it’s because when you’ve lived religion in a radical way, you understand the power religion has to both harm and help people. What I love so much about the HDS Religious Literacy Project’s method is that it’s not prescriptive but rather descriptive. It’s not saying religion should be embedded in every aspect of our lives, but rather that religion already is embedded in every aspect of our lives. Even in the most secular of governments, for example, the symbols of that government function as a kind of religion. The Religious Literacy Project acknowledges the power that religion already has in our individual lives and in the systems that organize our lives.

I’ve had the opportunity at HDS to explore the power that religion has for both good and ill. I think more people need to be aware of that. Often people try to put on this mask of religious literacy in the form of thinking, “All religions are basically the same” or “All religions are good and it’s just bad people that use them for evil.” I don’t think that is true. Religion, like everything else, can be used as a tool for good and for ill. It’s as ludicrous to say, “All Buddhists are peaceful” as it is to say, “All Buddhist are violent,” or to say “Islam is a religion of peace” versus “Islam is a religion of violence.” Those things are all untrue.

As a person who studies contemporary evangelical Christianity, my point often is not to say, “Look at these folks, they’re so bad” or “Look at these folks, they’re so good,” but rather to ask, “What kind of power do contemporary Evangelical voices of a variety of political affiliations and ideologies have not only in their affiliation groups but also in the broader culture?”

Heart and Soul

The HDS Religious Literacy Project has been my heart and soul here. I met RLP director Diane Moore when she introduced herself during orientation. She told us she was from the Midwest and if anyone from there wanted to hang out with her and use the word “pop” instead of “soda,” they were welcome. My little Midwestern heart exploded. I took her class and then emailed her the semester after, telling her I was interested in her work. We met up, she offered me a staff position, and I’ve never looked back. I’ve been her news editor and social media coordinator for the past several years.

Last summer I wrote news articles and also made a children’s educational resource that shows drawings of people of different religious traditions wearing head coverings of various kinds and explains why the characters wear them. This cartoon project was definitely one of my all-time favorite projects because I love making art. It was amazing to have my boss put that amount of trust in my abilities. As soon as I came up with the idea for this project, she said, “Push aside everything else and do that.” Having the freedom to pursue a project like that is a privilege.

This summer I was a teaching assistant for Professor Moore’s “Religion, Conflict and Peace” course. It was an online summer course, and we had an interesting group of people of all ages and backgrounds. We had a rising junior in high school who was one of the best writers in the class. We also had people who had retired from their careers and were simply interested in the topic at hand. The diversity of thought among the group was really cool.

My Work

This fall, I started doctoral work in the Religion in the Americas subfield of the religion department at Princeton University. My particular interest is how American evangelical Christians use media to talk about issues of identity and belonging—who’s in, who’s out—especially related to gender, race, and sexuality.

I feel a strong kinship with people who have so much to love and hate from their old tradition. It gives you a unique relationship to that tradition—one that puts you in the position of being meaningfully critical yet also ceaselessly empathetic and sympathetic. That’s how I feel. I was hurt very much by my evangelical upbringing. It told me so many things about myself were bad. It instilled in me beliefs that were incredibly harmful across the board and that I’ll spend my life unlearning. And I am angry about it—I think justifiably. That anger does fuel my work, in part. It would be foolish to pretend that it doesn’t. But it’s not just anger that drives my curiosity, and anger wouldn’t be enough to power me through my academic career. It’s also a deep love for the people and the values and a hope that things can change.

One-on-One Conversations

Some of my tolerance for conversations across difference spreads from my optimism that people can and do change their minds about a lot of things. I’ve changed my mind about a lot of things in my short life.

I believe we should hold others accountable to a high level of critical thought. Most people are capable of executing critical thought, yet a lot of the “academic elite’s” assessments of middle America and right-leaning people are often patronizing. I believe these folks are as capable of grasping right and wrong as I am. When I truly believe in something, I have this kind of naïve optimism that I can make a compelling, persuasive, and accessible argument for it to others.

I believe in the power of one-on-one conversations to change hearts and minds. I think that’s what it comes down to. One of the most meaningful experiences I had in college was during a meeting with a particular youth pastor while writing my undergraduate thesis. I was doing a rhetorical analysis of Christian dating and sexuality books for adolescents, and part of the project involved interviewing youth pastors in the area. I was talking to a pastor who belonged to a much more conservative church than I was comfortable with. His views and my views didn’t align on a lot of things, but we spent an hour talking about my project and had a great conversation.

Toward the end of the interview, he asked, “If you could share one thing you’ve learned in this process, what would it be?” I told him about a popular author whose advice perpetuates rape culture and is so damaging for boys and girls alike. I said, “I would implore you to never recommend her books.” He walked over to his shelf—he had a few of her books on his shelves—and he threw them right in the trash.

I think about this all the time. It was one of the most humbling, powerful moments of my life. It started with him humbling himself to me, saying, “I trust you’ve put in a lot of work and thought into this and I want to know what you think.” I shared with him what I thought, and he trusted me. That wouldn’t have happened if I had come in with guns blazing. Personal connection, patience, and compassion change hearts and minds—I really believe that, and if I didn’t believe it, I wouldn’t do what I do.

A Public Intellectual

Thinking ahead about the kind of career I want, I know I want to speak directly to the communities that I’m studying. That’s not always looked well upon in my field, but for me there’s no other way. I want my work to always be in real conversation with the publications and the groups that it’s taking a critical eye to.

When I’m at the point of publishing, I want my work to be accessible and inexpensive. I know those sound like pipe dreams, and I know sometimes people look down on scholars that write for more commercial audiences, but I think in this day and age people should be public intellectuals. That’s my hope. I also hope to teach, and I hope that the students I teach will come to my office and tell me about their lives.

Defining Myself

I don’t define myself by my work. My work is meaningful to me, but it’s not who I am. I remember during my orientation at HDS, everyone was so intense and sure of themselves. When they were talking about fun, they were still talking about work. It seemed like some of them only talked about their work. It’s fine to be that kind of person, but it’s not who I am.  I read more for fun during the semester than I do in the summer—just to remind myself that what I study doesn’t own me.

In a lot of ways, I define myself as a young person, a person just getting acquainted with the world. That sounds silly, but millennials—like all generations—did live through a unique set of circumstances that made us into the people we are. I think it’s becoming increasingly clear that people of every age have no idea what they’re doing. Young people of my generation have embraced the acknowledgment of our limitations. We make nihilistic jokes, but we also try hard to build a more inclusive and thoughtful society. I think many millennials have a passion for making a more loving and fun and funny world, and I really like that—I like identifying with that. I identify as a person who wants to make a more loving, fun, funny world.

Running and Reading

I like to run, but I’ve never run a marathon. That’s my next goal. I’m 26 this year, so I want to run a marathon because it’s 26 miles. I want to think about each year of my life at the corresponding mile as I run, which sounds so cheesy, but I want to do it.

I read a lot. Because I grew up reading Harry Potter, the facts of the book and the world of the book feel like reality to me—just another layer of reality. I also love Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer. And I love Mary Oliver. I keep her anthologies by my bed and read them often. And e.e. cummings, whose childhood home I used to walk by every day on my way to HDS.

Photos by Jenna Alatriste

[houseofvans]

Art School | Sophie Roach (Austin, TX)

Drawing and painting her way through an imaginative landscape of intricate and visual entanglements is Austin native, Sophie Roach.  Her artwork has endlessly covered  surfaces from– guitars, beer cans, Vans, to entire rooms.  And if that isn’t already insanely rad, her organic approach and laid back attitude make her not only incredibly humble, but also a super awesome collaborator.  While finishing up one mural and starting up new projects, we had the chance to ask Sophie a few questions about her art, her career, and her approach – from finding her voice, attacking a mural, to digging the quietude one might find as a mail person hah!  

Photographs courtesy of the artist. 

Introduce yourself.  

My name is Sophie Roach and I'm an artist/illustrator/muralist based in Austin, TX! I grew up in Austin, went to college in Seattle, then I scooted back to my hometown as quickly as I could after graduating in 2011.

As a self taught artist, how did drawing take shape and become what you do- did it start as a hobby or random habit? 

I was a total jock growing up, not an artsy kid at all. I started drawing when I was 20. At first it was in the margins of my lecture notes, eventually I gave up on the note-taking part. I’m only a good student when I feel like whatever I’m learning will be applicable to life outside the classroom. For me, since I didn’t have a career in mind, that was around 5% of my in-class experience so I wound up drawing a whole lot. By the time I graduated I was interested in doing something creative, possibly graphic design, but I didn’t think that those doodles would be a part of my career until about a year later.

What did your early drawings look like and / or did they evolve into what they are now?  How did you find your particular voice in your art? 

They looked like anyone’s notebook doodles. I’ve had depression and anxiety issues since I was a kid and I found that the meditative, time-intensive work helped me deal with that. I became obsessed with drawing and my skills evolved  quickly as a result. I didn’t know I was looking for my voice until I stumbled upon it in early 2012. Making art was always fun, but once I hit upon a style that felt like my own, I knew I was totally screwed. I had to make it work full-time.

In terms of influences, artistically and in general, what are they and how do they influence the work you make now?

I love the utility of Milton Glaser’s decorative design work, Keith Haring’s visual language, and Sol LeWitt’s ability to make minimalism totally overwhelming with his installations. I love the sincerity in Keith Shore and Nathaniel Russel’s work. I love the bold abstract nature in the work of Blexbolex and in old polish posters and book covers. I’m sure that these things that I love make their way into my work but I don’t spend much time thinking about where my inspiration comes from. I focus more on positioning myself to receive it by taking long walks, traveling to new places, reading books, and simply paying close attention to my surroundings.

You’ve worked with various mediums and from small to super large. Take us through the preparation and thought process when you work in large scale?  What is your planning like and do you find yourself drawn to creating more large scale works?

Step 1: Develop a loose concept (vague organization and goals for the piece) Step 2: Determine appropriate materials for scale and location Step 3: Pencil out boundaries for linework based on loose concept Step 4: Start drawing. Sometimes sticking to the initial pencil marks, more often making up new stuff as I go. Step 5: Have imposter moment. “Oh my god why did I agree to do this, this looks dumb, the result is going to look dumb, I don’t have the skills to make this look good and everyone can tell.”  With murals, you have to complete the ugly parts of the process in front of people. It’s a little nerve-wracking. Step 6: Stop whining, get back to work Step 7: Once the linework is complete it’s time to color Step 8: Go back through and re-draw lines near the color sections Step 9: Usually jalapeño, pepperoni, pineapple pizza

To be honest, I found little joy in the mural process when I first started. Now that I have a few murals under my belt I find it hard to work on small scale pieces. It's very satisfying to work large scale. I feel like each office/commercial/public mural is practice for the immersive installations that I'm dreaming up for the future.

What’s something you don’t think folks might not know about an artist or being a “working artist”?  

I used to think that I wasn’t a real artist because I rarely show work in galleries and I don’t like sitting in my studio all day. I make art full time but at the moment my work is more appropriate for commercial design-y projects and murals. I don’t feel restricted in the commercial art realm because I’m strict about retaining my voice and most clients are cool with that due to it’s abstract nature. Because I pay my rent with commercial work, I get to have a lot of fun with the works on paper. I don’t think you can feel totally free when making things for the “fine art” world unless you don’t care whether you get a financial return for your energy.

Your work is filled with details and patterns – how do you decide which pattern goes where? Do you have a running sheet of various patterns and shapes constantly running through your mind? 

I just go with my gut. There are rules for organization that I'm constantly making and breaking throughout my process. I don't think I could put the rules into words but I can feel them when I'm working. I do have shapes and shape combos that are vaguely representational of real life things, but its not always obvious. I want it to be apparent that a method exists within the madness but I don’t care how decipherable it is.

Top 3 bands while you’re drawing? These days: -Alex Cameron -Lucy Dacus -King Krule

Albums get old fast because I have headphones on for most of my waking life. I always have something playing because I find that I can control my fatigue with different types of music/audiobooks/podcasts. I've developed a self-regulating listening process when I'm working. If I'm having trouble concentrating on the work, I turn on an audiobook or podcast and focus on that. If I'm having trouble keeping up with the talky stuff, I turn on music and focus on the work. Then there are more ways that I decide what kind of music makes sense for what I'm working on or how I'm feeling.

What is the most asked question you get on social media?  Shall we lay it to rest once and for all? ha

Anytime I post a process video I get tons of comments, DMs, and emails asking about my materials. I think materials are important and I’ve spent a lot of time and money finding the right tools to achieve the aesthetic that I want. I know people don’t mean any harm when they ask, but I can’t help but cringe when I get the pen question for the 10000th time.

That said, here are my favorite tools: Rotring Rapidograph Pens Copic Markers Smooth bristol paper Molotow empty paint markers Golden High Flow Acrylic in Carbon Black

What do you think you would have been doing if not for art?  

My alternate reality fantasy job is to be a mail woman oddly enough. The concept of putting things in their appropriate boxes is really soothing to my Virgo/OCD brain. Plus, I love that I'd be able to work alone, walk a lot, and constantly have my headphones in. It's basically what I do now but without all the challenges and angst, ha.

What’s your big dream? What kind of work do you want to be making in fifteen years? 

Over the next few years I’d like to expand my style into 3D form and eventually design a compound of buildings a la Antoni Gaudi, Friedensreich Hundertwasser, Niki de Saint Phalle, and St. EOM. I’d love for it to have a function as well. Maybe a hotel or event space. Maybe a waterpark.

What are your favorite Vans? and why? I was able to keep one of the 50 pairs of shoes that I hand customized for a Vans/iamsound event in Austin in 2013. It was one of my first collaborations with a brand that I actually cared about and it showed me what kind of projects were available for artists in the commercial realm. I used to wear them all the time but now I keep the pair on a shelf in my studio as a memento.

What’s the best and worse advice you’ve gotten in regards to art? (if any)

I try to put all of the good and bad advice in the same pile in my head. Then I generally ignore that pile. People are always telling what I "should" do. I used to make an effort to do all of those things because it's a lot easier and less scary compared to coming up with ideas on my own. Turns out there are plenty of great ideas that just don't light my fire. I'm learning to trust my gut.

However there is one bit of helpful advice that I heard in a documentary a long time ago. I don't remember what it was called or who the artist was but he said that his best advice for young people who want to make art for a living is to QUIT NOW. When things get hard I tell myself to quit, then I remember that I can't. I need to make stuff! Then I get back to work.

What do you have coming up for 2017? What’s your next project or show people should know about?

I'm continuing to focus on murals this year. So far almost all of my installations have been in Austin so I’m stoked to have projects scheduled around the country in 2017. Best way to keep up with what I'm doing is to follow me on Instagram.

Follow Sophie Roach:

Website: www.sophieroach.com Instagram: @Sophieroach 

[willowthephotographer]

OTTAWA ICON - Maryam & Dhivya

“Two great friends entering a journey together. Together, in school for Medical Radiation Technology, and pursuing portrait photography!”

Maryam @marya.mali : Hey! My name is Maryam Ali. I am 22 years old and am currently living and studying in Ottawa, Ontario.  I am a first generation Somali-Canadian. I love reading, taking long strolls through Netflix, and eating at new and fancy places :) My guilty pleasure tv show is MTV's Catfish (it’s 2018 and people are still getting catfished, HOW???). A recent book I’ve read is by Trevor Noah called Born A Crime. It’s quite an insightful read and would highly recommend it. Dhivya @dhivya.sri : Hi :) I’m Dhivya Sriranganathan. I am a 22-year-old student and have lived my whole life in Ottawa. I have way too many interests, but I’m really into visual arts, singing, reading (something I haven’t done in a while though) and photography. I’m always trying to learn something new, so recently I have been wanting to take up graphic designing/digital art! I’ll see far I get with that though haha.

Questions

What was your first impressions of each other? M: You know what's funny? I thought Dhivya was a little rude at first. It was grade 8, I was new to the school and we were in the same class. I would attempt at making conversation but she wouldn’t really want to talk. Once we did start talking though we found out that we had a lot in common and hit it off.  It’s funny now looking back at it, and how far we’ve come since. But yeah, I thought she was rude aha!

D: I always find it funny when Maryam recounts her side of the story. It makes me look like the bad guy! She was the new kid in our class and all I wanted to do was introduce myself, but for anyone who knows me, they’ll know I’m pretty shy. Also, my RBF doesn’t help either lol. But if you look at us now, we’re like an old married couple lol.

What are you both in school for? What made you pursue this path? M: I’ve always had a passion for science. Ever since I was in kindergarten I knew I wanted to pursue a career within the science field. As I got older, biology and medicine were the areas in science that interested me the most. After high school, I did my undergraduate studies at the University of Ottawa. I graduated this year, and now have my Bachelors of Science in Biomedical Science, with a Minor in Law. Currently, I’m in my first year of studies at Algonquin College for Medical Radiation Technology. I find that this program is really a perfect blend of both science and photography. Consider me a sort of medical photographer. It’s really interesting so far and I’m excited for what’s to come.

D: I graduated this year from the University of Ottawa with a BSc in Biopharmaceutical Sciences. I’m currently in my first year of Medical Radiation Technology at Algonquin College as well! I decided to pursue this path because I knew that I wanted to work in healthcare and specifically, I found the diagnostic aspect of it really interesting. I also love how this program incorporates the arts and sciences as I have a huge appreciation for any medium of art, as well as the health sciences.

What was it that introduced photography to you? M: When I was about 8 years old, my dad bought our first family camera. I would always sneak away with the camera to take my own photos and videos, only to delete them later on so I wouldn't get caught. Just after my dad bought his camera, my principal at my elementary school bought the same camera. He saw how much I loved using it and decided to make me the school’s photographer. Ever since, I’ve taken every opportunity to learn more about photography and develop my skills. I bought myself my first DSLR in the summer of 2016. Dhivya was also interested in photography, and we decided to learn how to use our cameras together. 2 years later, and I’ve done photoshoots, weddings, a bit of videography, and am now learning about diagnostic imaging.

D: I would say that my brother was the one who introduced photography to me! When we were little kids, he’d be the one making funny music videos of my sister and I would be the assistant. He’s a very techie sort of guy and always knew what he was talking about in terms of the newest camera equipment. I never understood it until I started using our family’s DSLR for the first time in 2016. I shot my brother’s prom and I fell in love with shooting! From then on, I wanted to learn more and luckily, I had Maryam, so we were able to learn together. I’ve done a bunch of portrait shoots and event photography since then, but I’d love to venture out and try something new when I get the chance.

If you could give your past self advice, what would it be? M: If I could give my past self a piece of advice, it’d be to do the best you can with what you have available to you. When it came to photography, I was always a little self conscious about not having the ‘perfect camera’ or the most expensive gear. What I’ve come to learn over time is that having nice gear, although making the job a little easier, is not what gives you the best product. What gives you the best product is learning everything you can about the supplies you have available to you and applying that knowledge. Certain people will label themselves as a photographer, but won’t know a thing about their camera. If your phone is all you have available, then learn everything you can about it. The price tag of your gear does not make the photo, you do.

D: In terms of photography and art, I would tell my past self not to worry about what others may think of my work and just continue to create. Don’t be discouraged when you look at other artists’ work because there is always room to learn and grow. Art is very subjective, so as long as I personally love my work, that should be enough. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? M: In ten years, I hope to be done my program and maybe have a MSc under my belt (not too sure yet!). I also hope to have a space I can truly call my own, one where I can think and create in peace. Maybe I’ll be married? Honestly, as cliché as it sounds, I just hope that I’m happy.

D: I hope to either by working in the healthcare field, teaching, doing research or maybe a combination of them! I hope that I’ll be able to continue creating, whether that’s taking pictures, drawing, singing or maybe even something else I haven’t yet thought about. And I hope to be doing this while I have a cute little family of my own. If you were to pass down a legacy, what would you want that to be? M: I want to be remembered as someone who’s hard work paid off. I want to be remembered as someone who cared, not just about herself, but about her family, friends, and community. I would like to leave my mark in the scientific world too (maybe discover a new element? A long shot, I know).  My dream would be to open a new hospital or medical clinic somewhere in Somalia, hopefully that will also be part of my legacy.

D: If I could pass down anything, it would be my values and core beliefs. Some of my main values include treating others the way I want to be treated, showing gratitude and being there for family and friends. I’d also love to be able to put out my artwork, whether it be in photography, art or music. Why do you think I chose you to be a part of my series “ICON OTTAWA” M: Ottawa is known as a ‘big-little city’. It’s small in comparison to Toronto, Montreal, and other notable cities, but big in its status as the nation's capital. As someone who’s lived most of her life here, it’s easy to feel as if you’re one of few creatives in the city. “ICON OTTAWA” is innovative in its approach at featuring different artists across the city, giving them a platform to showcase their art, personality and a way to connect. I believe you chose to feature me because I share something in common with everyone else in the series, a desire to imagine and create. I am truly humbled and grateful that you chose to feature me, and want to thank you and your team for all your hard-work in making this series a reality :)

D: The point of this series to connect creatives and showcase their work, so that we can come together to create something of significance for our community. I believe that I was chosen for Icon Ottawa because I am a part of a large and diverse group of artists based in Ottawa who has that ability to create. By joining this series, I am joining a collection that is larger than myself. Thank you again to Willow and her team for including me in this impactful series!

The reason I chose Maryam & Dhivya,

I heard about Maryam from our very own Ottawa Icon, Ream. Next Maryam introduced me to Dhivya. It was uncanny how close these two were in sharing the same outstanding story! These two inspirers are very intelligent and creative women. They truly empower us to fill your life with the splendours of education and art. Maryam & Dhivya's ICON is the Linnaea borealis. Also known as the ‘Twinflower’.

The twinflower is from the Honeysuckle family. It has one stem and two flowers sprout on the top. They are beloved by hummingbirds. They symbolize happiness and sibling love. The flower is a lovely pink colour. “Pink represents friendship, affection, harmony, inner peace, and approachability.” -bourncreative.com/meaning-of-the-color-pink/

A big "Thank you" to everyone on the team  involved in making this possible! Looking forward to .07 of OTTAWA ICON

  Location: Nepean Photographer: Willow Lamoureux Photography / @willowthephotographer Assistant: Anna Pickles / @anna_pickles Models:  Maryam / @marya.mali @maryamali.space Dhivya / @dhivya.sri @diyaphotos

[doodlewash]

The Backstory

Throughout my life, there have always been two interests that stand out among the rest: animals and art. I’m pretty sure I’ve loved animals every single day of my life, and I’ve been drawing for as long as I could hold a pencil. As I grew, my preference in media changed from sketching to photography to sculpting to painting.

During summer before my senior year, I found myself short of the minimum community service hours required for graduation, and as fate would have it, my mother found an ad in the newspaper for teen volunteers for our local zoo’s summer program. And it was that volunteer experience that would end up shaping the rest of my life.

During that summer and the year to follow, I would end up logging nearly 500 hours at the zoo before leaving for college. During college, I studied both zoology and psychology and got my first paid position at another zoo as a camp counselor. Unfortunately, my college days would come to an end earlier than I anticipated when my health started to decline.

Upon returning to my hometown with two associates degrees in hand and no idea what I was going to do with my life, I began working as an assistant at a photography studio while also returning to my local zoo as an intern with the hopes of joining the staff someday. A couple years later, my dream came true. I got a job as a full time zoo educator at the zoo I had been visiting since my second birthday.

I adored every second of being a zoo educator, even the ones where I was at my wits ends with the kids or covered in animal feces. I eventually rose to the position of managing the department, but unfortunately, I learned the hard way that my INFP personality was not well-equipped with traits that would allow me to enjoy managing people instead of actually educating. With my health once again deteriorating rapidly, I made the impossible decision to leave my zoo after well over a decade of commitment to them. 

Discovering Watercolors

As luck would have it, I found watercolors through the zoo as well. In those last few months I was working there, I was planning a craft for a new program when I came across these little watercolor animal silhouettes and very suddenly, it was like a flip switched in me. I was immediately drawn to the way that watercolors flow and the range of color, texture, and emotion they are able to evoke. I had to learn more about this medium.

So, one thing you might want to know about me is that I have a bit of an obsessive personality. When I latch on to something that I am passionate about, there’s really no turing back. I’m not great with anything technical and my chronic pain makes it difficult for me to remember important dates or what I ate for breakfast yesterday… but it’s been fourteen years since I first learned to handle an opossum and nearly three years since the last time I taught with one, but I could still talk your ear off about all their fascinating adaptions. The same thing happened to me when I found watercolors.

I had painted with oils and acrylics before, but I’m rather embarrassed to admit that I didn’t know professional watercolors were even a thing. For whatever reason, they weren’t a part of either of the only two art classes I was able to take in school and I hadn’t even seen a set of Crayolas for years.

But after that first spark of curiosity, I spent months researching the ins and outs of watercolor, what colors to chose for a palette, how different pigments reacted with each other… I read blogs and watched videos for hours on end, all to learn as much as I could and teach myself.

And to be entirely honest, after two and half years, I haven’t stopped.

Inspiration from Africa

It shouldn’t come to anyone’s surprise that I find my inspiration in wildlife. I have the utmost respect for our planet, and I feel it is our responsibility as a whole to take action and stand up against all the wrong humans have done and are currently doing to the millions of other species we share it with. As cliché as it might sound, I am inspired by a greater desire to help speak up for those who do not have voices, and I hope that my artwork serves as an extension of that passion in some small way.

My ultimate lifelong dream was to visit Africa and after years of saving, I finally took myself on that trip to Botswana and South Africa in 2013. Due to my work schedule, I had to travel during the off season which led to an incredibly interesting adventure in more ways than one. I was traveling by myself to another continent, and the company I booked with changed guides on me at the last minute to someone I had never spoken to and with whom I’d be alone with for the next week and a half. There was plenty of panic, anxiety, mishaps, and rain that trip, but I was standing in Africa and despite all the bad, nothing could compare to the comfort I felt from Africa herself. There aren’t words to express the absolute bliss I felt standing on African soil.

The experiences I shared there are enough to inspire me for a lifetime. I got to watch a small pride of young lions trying to stay cool under a tree in the hot Kalahari sun. One of which was playing gently with a butterfly like a house cat might. We came quite close, a little too close for comfort, to a herd of bull elephants along the road outside the Makgadikgadi Pans and watched them under a moody grey sky. I was privileged to have an incredibly rare opportunity to watch a couple of adolescent hyenas babysit two cubs while we heard the rest of the pack in the distance, presumably in a hunting party. And among many other experiences, I got to fall asleep to the roar of a rare subtropical storm filled with the beautiful chorus of frogs, insects, and birds as it poured down in Maun. It’s been over four years, but the memories are so vivid still that it brings tears to my eyes thinking about what a breathtaking experience the trip was.

Artistic Process

There’s no secret here. Regardless of medium, be it photography, painting, or sculpting, my love for animals inspires nearly every piece I create. Having been a photographer who loves to paint the same subjects that I photograph, I’m well-stocked (pun intended?) as far as references go. Whenever I’m stumped for a subject, I need only to open up my storage files and take a look for something that calls to me on that given day.

In connection with my desire to help spread conservational messages, I love featuring flagship species (beloved animals that help people to focus on a broader conservation effort) and some of the lesser known beauties in my artwork to help spread awareness. I have a very strong preference for painting animal portraits, and one of the comments I get most consistently in regards to my artwork, whether photography or painting, is that people feel very connected through the eyes of the animals I paint. This is perhaps the greatest compliment anyone could give me, and am still humbled each time I hear it.

Tools of the Trade

My first and greatest love in watercolor paints is Daniel Smith. When I first began researching color selections, I came across the wonderful Jane Blundell’s website and, paired with many other resources, began building my palette of Daniel Smith colors, which I used almost exclusively inside an 18-well Mijello Fusion palette for my first year of painting.

I will never be able to say for sure if those paints and that palette are only my favorites because they were my first real watercolor supplies or if they would have ended up there regardless, but I do adore them. My other favorite brands include M. Graham for their vivid pigmentation and eco-friendly business practices and Schmincke for their silky smooth texture and soft coloration.

As far as brushes go, I have several in my arsenal I happily use including a Princeton Elite Size 12, a Silver Black Velvet Size 10, an Escoda Versatil Size 8, the Princeton Neptune Size 4 Quill, and the very convenient Pentel Aquash Water Brushes. Arches 140lb Cold Pressed is my go-to watercolor paper, though also have been using some Strathmore 500 Series lately. I also recently took on the challenge of compiling and testing over 25 types of watercolor paper from different brands and there are some I’m quite eager to add to my collection as well.

Recently I’ve started enjoying other water-based mediums such as gouache and inks, but I owe them a lot more time before reporting any findings.

The Working Artist

A little over a year ago, I decided I wanted to put all of this silly, obsessively-compiled information to good use and started an educational YouTube channel. I primarily focus on product reviews, tutorials, and other geeky mini series like my Color Spotlight series where we focused on a different pigment each week for eight weeks. Last month I also had a ton of fun producing daily time lapse videos for World Watercolor Month!

My chronic pain unfortunately pushed my out of a career I never expected to have to leave. Coming to terms with that has been very difficult, but I have found a renewed joy in sharing both my passion for watercolors and my love for animals with my community. I am diligently working to spread my passion for both watercolors and animals while also making my artistry and educational materials responsible for my livelihood. Thanks to my amazing Patrons and those who support me through my online shops, I get a little closer to that goal every day.

I am very active within my YouTube and Patreon communities and love forging connections with other aspiring artists. I’d be thrilled to see you all around if you’d like to join us! 

Thank you so much to Charlie for sharing my story and my artwork with all of you lovelies on Doodlewash. Happy Painting!

Denise Soden Website Etsy YouTube Patreon Instagram Facebook Doodlewash Gallery

#WorldWatercolorGroup GUEST ARTIST: "In Liquid Color" by Denise Soden - #doodlewash #animals The Backstory Throughout my life, there have always been two interests that stand out among the rest: animals and art.

[auntiegilli]

So, let me start by saying what the media says about Ray Richardson:

‘Ray Richardson is the Martin Scorsese of painting’  Lindsay Macrae GQ Magazine

‘Ray Richardson is the David Lynch of paint and canvas’  Iain Gale The Independent

I must admit in researching Ray I was a bit gobsmacked to see that previous interviewers included one of my writing heroes Hanif Kureishi – no pressure then!!  (see Conversation on Ray’s website).  And what a generous man as when I pointed that out he said ‘The Hanif Kureishi thing was more a conversation than an interview (his suggestion) around his house one afternoon in Hammersmith done on an old school cassette player that took place over three hours and some poor sod had to edit afterwards so don’t worry about having to do that.’

There was a slight delay in him getting back to me as  ‘Turps’ magazine launch yesterday that has a big article written on me by Marcus Harvey the guy who did the infamous Myra painting in the Sensation show a number of years ago.’

So here is my interview – you can always read a bit more on his Wikipedia page.

Bit of background and how you got into art before Goldsmiths and St Martins

I was born in Woolwich S.E. London in 1964. I studied at St Martins School of Art and Goldsmiths College. I’ve lived and worked in London, Brussels, Paris and Chicago and currently live and work in S.E. London

My paintings more than just a mirror of everyday life. They are drawn from my own experience of being born, bred and from living and working in London but also beyond there. When you look at my work you don’t have to experience it through the usual suspects of art history and great artists that I admire such from Breughel to Vermeer to Hopper to Richter. I see it it too through the minor musical language of Gil Scott Heron or the pulp history of James Ellroy or the motivation of cinema and photography.

I always drew as a kid but was a good footballer and was a junior at Spurs until I was fourteen but had decided in the back of my mind that I wanted to go to Art School ‘cos I was still drawing as a teenager (even though I didn’t really know why) even when I was playing football why I wanted to go to art school.

Influences on your work 

Just two as there are too many to mention so Edward Hopper ‘Nighthawks‘  Breughel ‘The Land of Cockaigne‘ Goya ‘The Colossus‘ dunno where to stop really.

  What was the best piece of advice that you were given when you were starting out as an artist?

Nothing really positive. My old man said ‘you only start earning in that game when you’re dead’. First day at St Martins a tutor gave a talk saying that ‘only 3% of you will still be doing this in ten years time’ but by the time I finished at Goldsmith’s they did in put a bit of a professional vibe that wasn’t happening anyway else at that time pre ‘ArtStar’ days. I was there when it’s rise began although it didn’t seem a big deal to be there at the time to be honest. I just kept saying to myself till this day the old Soul music saying of ‘Keep on keeping on’.

Can you tell me about some of your previous exhibitions

I was in a museum show alongside Francis Bacon, Lucien Freud, Sir Peter Blake, Paula Rego & David Hockney amongst others about Contemporary British Figurative Painting – it don’t get too much better really. One of my two paintings in that show called ‘Our Side of the Water’ it’s about where I grew up in Woolwich in London right by the Thames and it’s where I have my studio now and it’s of my mate who by day is a decorator but who is also a good artist. It’s a painting about hope in some poxy times that we’re all in – that’s what I like about it and it ain’t too bad either.

What is important to you about your art?

It draws on my life and experiences and so it has an honesty. I don’t want to do stuff that’s about other peoples stories. Sometimes our stories are the same but they got to be told in your own way otherwise it don’t feel right to me.

What is your process in creating a new piece / body of work?

When I’m in my studio I will work on a lot of pieces at the same time and I like working in the sketchbook drawing & writing bollocks that means something to me. That way I feel productive. I don’t start one work, see it all the way through until then end, and then start another. It’s far more organic than that. It has to be because if I get a block on one piece then by working on other works simultaneously those blocks can get unblocked sometimes without me knowing how. Fucking magic happens or not and I don’t sometimes know why.

Can you tell me something about what you will be doing at Upfest?

I don’t know what I’ll be doing at Upfest just yet. I’ve got a few ideas but I haven’t decided on one. I’m about to go away with my younger son for a short holiday (as he’s just graduated from Uni) so I’ll get me head around it while I’m away when he’s stuck into a film or his games or something then I’ll be away drawing away in my sketchbooks. Half the time I dunno what I’m doing next week.

What are you looking forward to most about Upfest?

I guess I don’t know what to expect so that’s quite exciting. Getting to see what other people get up to will be interesting. Getting out of South East London for a few days (ha ha).

Whose work are you looking forward to seeing?

Guy Denning.  A blinding painter in my humble opinion and a top bloke off the pitch too.

Where are you at Upfest?

I’ll be working at St Francis Church nearby Royal Ti I think.

What have you got coming up for the rest of the year – where will people be able to see your next works

I did four or five one man shows in London, Luxembourg. Brussels & Lille in the last 18/20 months plus other bits & pieces in all over the shop so I said I’m doing nothing now (apart from some commissioned work and a bit of art fair shenanigans in Paris) until a one man show at Beaux Arts London in March 2018 and then in Brussels in September 2018. So keep ’em peeled…

  Website            Instagram         Twitter         Facebook                    Upfest profile

See Ray Richardson’s work at St Francis Church

Upfest Saturday 29, Sunday 30 Monday 31 July 2017

Upfest Festival Map

Upfest 17 – Ray Richardson: My old man said ‘you only start earning in that game when you’re dead’ So, let me start by saying what the media says about Ray Richardson: 'Ray Richardson is the Martin Scorsese of painting'  Lindsay Macrae GQ Magazine…