#I also really really hate 'mean humour'

[mekanikaltrifle]

"Dear gods, there are fish in this pond"

incredible. I've had my whole observation changed forever, thank you for enlightening me, I will now tell all and sundry how much I have been changed by a sarcastic response to an offhanded comment on my own blog.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

a decade later sure i'll put it into Text Post "tumblr user claims: plausibly may feasibly" form, starting with these classic screenshots i still have saved

this being dialogue from 2015's always watching: a marble hornets story, which is like hey this is a pretty well produced indie venture & you can sure like sit through it even if you then never watch it again b/c it's still kind of overly on the beaten path & "i'm not sure this choice is justified in much of anything" (see: bizarrely omnipresent thread of a love triangle just to be There; typical Mental Patient(tm) Harbinger; several real marked More Is Less instances arguably) that is still a better time than other random horror material i've seen & hated vs. only mostly been underwhelmed by but in an Overall Shrug way alone. yeah imdb's 4.7 out of 10 seems fair enough if you consider like 5 stars truly middle of the road solid if forgettable vs that anything < 7 stars is for [Bad!] or whatever

anyways the main character is named milo & indeed the creator(s) / actors / writers troy joseph & tim were involved in the production at all: tim at least by being the first step in doug jones's casting by reaching out directly (online), but troy & joseph also via Some writing, like in that slender game sequel also: not the Primary creators / writers, but still officially involved in the creative process at all. & i knew of them & they knew of me by this time & in a [source: dude just trust me] style of way, i, a tumblr user, am like "i think milo alwayswatching Could be named after me, milo unproduciblesmackdown. lol." b/c also like yeah i can take it on the chin if it's a coincidence, which is also likely. great name & it's just not being used enough in fictional & nonfictional people's names. you might also be aware that some role in tribetweIve is named milo (maybe the main guy. i never watched it) so you might also speculate it's named after that guy, which seems plausible also, But: afaik there are no other similar plausible shoutouts at all, to that series or to emh which was just as majorly like One Of Those 3 Biggest Online Series. may or may not add a grain of salt to take it with. like my own "of course, there's a grain of salt in 'milo just like me milo, and Uncoincidentally?' b/c how wouldn't there be. a name people have"

the dude just trust me argument: distilling it down to "i went to their first convention & then the same one the next year, & in these experiences i Know they knew of me from that + also online, where people knew my name was milo as well" and "it seems feasible enough it's an easter egg Not Coincidence that i first knew this character's name happened to also be milo b/c someone who experienced a clip sent me an ask about it, so they assumed it was a possible actual connection too lol." and, of course, it might be a fun coincidence after all. but i'm still like "yeah no it Could be a funny little shoutout to me specifically for real" and mean it and, again, i can endure it if i'm completely wrong. b/c who could care, and also b/c it's so funny that the character is a guy who basically just is like "i am going to have a bad attitude. b/c of the insistent tiresome love triangle thing. well now I'm insistently tiresome" and fucking everything up but like, sure. exasperating epic fail protagonists

the only relevance i think it has besides "to me, b/c i can go haha yeah. that might be like: just like me!!" is that it's Also plausible b/c yeah marble hornets Is the kind of series that might go "this could be an easter egg about some queer autistic tumblr user we know about" lmao, its Inherent Queerness both re: the material and in the creators' knowledge like yep that's how our Appreciators skew! like it's low stakes to be like [lol, Me. perhaps] b/c it's obviously of zero importance like it adds no info, i'm just some rando queer fan from back in the day, but it's this potential Fun Fact that's funny to know & it's about "yeah like they knew i was trans back then too & that it was like, amidst the MH Fans, like nobody's cishet man (shaggy rogers voice)" Gay Rights!

[unhonestlymirror]

The most tragic character in the history of manga, Kurosawa Mutsumi

[astuteology]

🌡~My take on scorpio placements ~

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

☆ scorpio in the 7th house- usually get cheated on by their partners. Go through Toxic/ narcissistic partners at some point in their lives. 3rd party situations. Partners lying and deceiving you.

☆ scorpio mars- usually center of attention (attention grabber not seeker). Females with this placement tend to attract jealously from their so called friends or just other people in general. Men tends to sexualize them alot, May have spread rumors about them at some point.

Men with this placement, if underdeveloped, tends to be toxic af. The need to control everyone and everything around them is just awful. Fuck around a lot. Sleeping with different different people.

If developed, good achievers. Very strategic mindset. Usually get what they want in life. Bulletproof mindset. Very good at talking to people but still maintaining boundaries. Loyal.

☆scorpio suns- idk why and how, but when people get to know that someone is a scorpio, they get weirdly attracted to them??? Like staring at them, wanting to know them. Intimidated by them.

☆scorpio sun/moons- have a good sense of humour. They can make anyone laugh. And with this, they tend to attract alot of people who wants to be in a relationship with them.

☆scorpio venus- won't say a loyal lover HOWEVER when they love love, they are loyal 100%. Underdeveloped can lie about being in love.

☆retrograde scorpio venus- feels unlovable. Extreme trust issues. Highly sensitive. Very very very high on trust. You know how they say scorpios take tests? With this placement? Tests x 100. Don't give 2nd chances. It's very very difficult for them to be vulnerable. People have rejected them alot. May have been body shamed or criticised for looks. They feel like they don't deserve to be loved.

☆scorpio stellium in the natal chart- highly intuitive. Usually sees things beforehand. POWER. THE DARKNESS. THE EYES!!! Very beautiful people inside out. However they don't trust easily but if they do, for the love of lord, don't break it cuz you'll be coming back again and again to win them over.

☆scorpio moon- been through some serious shit. Been through hell and back with themselves. They understand people very well. However, they don't get the same understanding in return. They can see right through you so don't f with them. Hate mind games.

☆scorpio rising- very very intimidating. Females with this placement tends to attract jealousy in any form. People want to dominate you so bad. People telling them to tone it down. Basically people don't like your mindset, it triggers them cuz they can't have power over you. Hates 2 faced people. And the irony is, they usually deal with 2 faced people.

☆scorpio lilith- highly seductive. Very attractive. Sex appeal. Feelings run deep for them. Had people who wanted them only for sexual pleasures, wanted to touch them in any way. High vibration scorpio lilith is THE HEALER. also I've seen yall had some near death experiences?? Or witnessed someone dying in front of you.

☆ scorpio mercury- moves in silence. Very strategic and careful. Committed to anything they put their mind into. Always ready to be one on one while fighting. Their way of talking is very intense and mysterious which makes people wanna know how do you think like that. When they say something they really mean it. They take their time. Expects the worst. They figure things out so fast so don't even think of gaslighting them.

☆Scorpio in the 10th house- achievers. From a young age they had an insight of what they will become. Hold power in their work environment. If your a student, your classmates want to steal your notes, they feel envious that you make pretty good notes of whatever you're studying cuz yall go in depth and make pretty good observations of the topics. Authority figures.

☆scorpio in the 5th- gets extreme reactions from people. Ofcourse with any other placements, attracts jealousy. (Bruh I don't get it, what's with the scorpios dealing with alot of jealousy???? Like that's tiring) Grabs attention in parties, get togethers or any form of social gatherings. May have dealt with people wanting to take your partners. May have overly strict parents or very fucked up family issues.

That's it for now🫶🏻

[babyleostuff]

when they take a joke too far | ot13

❥ seungcheol 

as much as i love cheol, i don’t think he’d immediately notice that he took the joke too far, mainly because of the fact that when he’s in the moment, surrounded by other people, you know - trying to be funny (maybe attempting on impressing others with his amazing joking skills), he’d be a bit too focused on the people surrounding him. it doesn’t change the fact that the second he notices you acting a tad bit off, he’s all over you asking you questions - if you are all right, if you want to leave, if you need food or water, his jacket etc etc. when he’d find out you were upset by his joke, oh - he’d be so so disappointed and angry with himself, truly. cheol would apologise, of course, and ask you if you needed space (it would break his heart if you said yes tbh, but he'd understand that). he just wouldn’t want to disappoint and hurt you even more.

❥ jeonghan 

jeonghan knows he can be quite petty and sarcastic at times, and his jokes can be taken ambiguously sometimes, especially when people don’t really know him and his humour. then again, he’d never tell a mean joke on purpose, he’s not mean like that, but sometimes his jokes do not come out as he means them to. it could take him some time to notice you being upset over his joke because after all you’re quite used to his sense of humour, so he’d never think that you could get upset over it. in his mind his joke is just a silly comment, he obviously doesn’t mean for it to upset you, god forbid. when he finds out you’re bothered by it though, he’d apologise in any way he could - he’d be extra attentive, clingy, and careful with you, but giving you space at the same time.

❥ joshua 

immediately feels so bad when he sees your expression fall after his bad joke. does not wait to apologise later or reflect on what he had just said - your visible sadness is enough for joshua to cradle your face in his hands and apologise, as sincerely as he can. even if you’re with friends or other acquaintances, he doesn’t care if people are staring or murmuring to each other, all he cares about is apologising. even if you’d forgive him, joshua would still be a bit more wary around you, making sure to give you space but at the same time still care for you and take care of you, because despite your words - he knew you were still a bit upset.

❥ jun 

wouldn’t be sure whether to pack up his things and move out of your apartment, bury himself under the sheets, or to bawl his eyes out. the worst part is when he doesn’t even realise that he upset you with his joke, because what do you mean that he made you sad and he proceeded to go about his day like nothing happened? HE DIDN’T KNOW, PLEASE FORGIVE HIM. it’s never, ever jun’s intention to make you upset (duh), and it makes everything so much worse - he’s the one who’s supposed to make you laugh, not sad. when he realises that he took the joke too far he’s not sure how to approach you, because if he could he’d apologise immediately, but then again - what if you hate him now?

❥ hoshi 

this man is the epitome of “saying before thinking”, and while he’d never tell a joke to offend someone on purpose, shit happens and not all of his jokes come off as jokes. he also gets easily distracted so it could take some time for him to notice you being upset, but at the same time he’s such a simp for you, so he’d either realise you were bothered by his comment an hour later or the second the joke left his mouth. would be the type to fall to his knees, hug your waist, bury his face in your stomach, and proceed with an at least hour apology because he feels that bad. his dramatic behaviour (and the even more dramatic apology speech) would make you laugh so hard, you’d forget about the joke in seconds. still, hoshi would be extra caring with you because no excuse could justify his joke that was lame and unfunny in the first place.

❥ wonwoo 

to be honest, i don’t see a world where wonwoo would take a joke too far, he’d notice you being uncomfortable before you’d even know you were upset by the joke yourself. BUT, if it (somehow) happened, his apology would come straight away. there is no way he’d be able to proceed with his day without apologising at least fifty times - he’s so in tune with your emotions, it’d be like he could feel you hurting because of the joke himself. wonwoo would feel very ashamed of even thinking, let alone telling such a joke, he’d feel very disappointed in himself, and he’d beat himself up for that for days.

❥ woozi 

would apologise immediately - jihoon doesn’t like bullshitting around stuff, there is no way he’d wait with apologising, not only because he doesn’t like getting into conflicts, but because you deserve that apology. it’s never his intention to upset you, and he wouldn’t be able to proceed with his day without saying something. like, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn’t? after incidents like those (not that they happen often), he’s a bit more cautious around you, making sure to not overstep any boundaries, and letting you have some space.

❥ dk 

not happening, sorry - there is no way seokmin would take a joke too far to the point of upsetting someone, especially you. no. freaking. way. he’d rather set his body of fire than make an upsetting joke. 

❥ mingyu 

there’s also a slim chance of mingyu taking a joke too far, he’s too good of a person to upset anyone with his jokes. if it happened, he’d immediately apologise, probably in one of the most dramatic ways ever - throwing himself on his knees, yapping about how sorry he is, and how he didn’t know how such a joke could even come to his mind, while he’s eyes would be screaming “FORGIVE ME PLEASE”. he would be so disappointed and angry at himself for saying the joke, like it would take him days to get over it, even if you said you forgave him. there’s just something about taking a joke too far and making your significant upset because of it that breaks mingyu’s heart.

❥ minghao    

he can be very blunt and petty, his humour is not for everyone, but that still doesn’t mean he’d upset anyone on purpose (unless that person is rude, then they get the full on xu minghao treatment). when he notices he took his joke too far regarding you, he’s kind of clueless on what to do next - it’s not like he can ignore the fact that he said what he said, and he feels so ashamed for making you upset, in fact - too ashamed to apologise immediately. all of his confidence and bluntness suddenly leaves him, because how is he supposed to keep his head high when he just made his significant other upset with a joke, he decided to think of and then say. 

❥ seungkwan 

our savage boo can be a tad too savage at times, and sometimes his remarks can be a bit upsetting. good thing is that he quickly realises when he oversteps the boundary of what is funny and what is not, so it wouldn’t take him much time to understand that you got genuinely upset over his joke. would take your hands in his, and with a lowered head (he’d be too embarrassed and ashamed of upsetting you to look at you), and try to apologise as sincerely as he could. seungkwan would make sure to give you some space, though it would break his heart - but he knew that that was what he had to do for you to forgive him completely.

❥ vernon 

vernon isn’t known for coming up with loud and bold jokes, so he immediately catches himself after telling the joke that clearly wasn’t a good one, especially because it was directed towards you. his first instinct is to watch you to see your reaction, he wouldn’t want to say anything right away, afraid that it would make the situation only worse. he’s very cautious when approaching you, he’d understand if you’d need some space, but at the same time he doesn’t want to wait with his apology, because he feels really, really bad. he's also really good at apologising - maybe taking the full accountability for a bad joke is the bare minimum, but then again finding the bare minimum is very hard lately.

❥ chan

chan is usually quite good at controlling what he’s saying, he’s very cautious of the emotions of the people around him, and how his words might affect them. sometimes shit happens though, and not all of his jokes come out as he’d wish them to. chan’s a simp and he’s a loser for you, so he’d catch on to the fact that he took his joke too far quite quickly, and wouldn’t know how to act. he just made you sad, no - he just offended you. his joke, his words made you upset, and that’s a complete failure of his boyfriend duties, because his jokes are supposed to make you laugh, not upset. wouldn’t know how to approach you, would try to apologise through acts of service.

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[mistiell]

If you’re doing requests and it’s not too much trouble what about Astarion and getting patched up and taken care of by mc

Here you go babes <33 (Also, if he's a little out of character, I apoligize, I really did try my best lol) WC: 1k

---

“Ow! Gods, could you at least try to be gentle?” Astarion hisses at the sting of the salve you’ve concocted, startling you into jerking the cloth you’re using away.

You huff and drop your hands into your lap, brows furrowed in very clear annoyance, “I am trying. If you’d stop squirming, it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

“Well, if it didn’t hurt so much, I wouldn’t be squirming, would I?” He quips. You roll your eyes.

Taking his wrist ever so gently, you turn it so you can see the gash on his forearm, fingers deft and kind even despite his whining. He’s being difficult; unreasonable. You’d be justified in being cruel with him.

You’re careful not to press so hard as you swipe the cloth over the jagged edge of his wound, blood seeping into the fabric and staining the off-white linen a dark crimson. Mouth quirked down, your face is drawn tight with a frustration he’s never seen on you before.

He hates it.

The fabric catches with a jolt of pain and he flinches more than he would normally, startling you away again.

You tut at him, stern, “Astarion.”

Sighing, he returns his arm to you wordlessly and glances away with a small, “Sorry.”

“You should have been more careful.” You chastise as you press the cloth against his wound; firm, but not harsh. Never harsh.

He scoffs, rolls his eyes, “So you're saying this is my fault.”

He wasn’t being serious, but it seems you take it as such. Your nose scrunches, and for a split second, you look properly upset with him. He’s expecting you to snap at him, maybe shout and finally leave him to tend to his wounds alone as he usually would.

You don’t. Instead, you take a breath and sigh, looking rather disappointed.

“You know that’s not what I meant. Contrary to what you may believe, I do actually care about you and your wellbeing.” Your voice is void of any sort of humour as you look back at his arm. Swapping the soiled cloth for a smaller, cleaner one, you fold it in half and press it to his arm, not sparing him a glance as you instruct him, “Hold this.”

He does as you’ve asked, and a stifling silence engulfs his tent. As you rifle through some healing supplies, he tries to come up with a way to get you talking again.

“Why-,” His voice doesn’t come out right and he clears his throat to fix it. It comes out wrong anyway, “Why are you helping me? This wouldn’t have been the first time I’ve dressed a wound on my own, you know.”

“That doesn’t mean you should have to.” You reply as you begin securing the cloth to his arm with bandages, “No one deserves to suffer alone.”

The sentiment makes his stomach twist. “No one?” He huffs a wry puff of laughter, “Not even someone like Cazador?”

Your face contorts in abhorrence, “I meant good people don’t deserve to suffer alone. That bastard deserves every bit of suffering he has coming to him.”

He barely even registers the second part of what you’ve said, too busy reeling from the first.

Good people don’t deserve to suffer alone.

Good people.

“You... think I’m good?” He asks far too softly.

Finally looking back up at him, you look utterly confused as you nod, “Of course I do.”

He opens his mouth only to find he’s seemingly lost his voice. His gaze flits over just about every inch of your face, searching for any sign that you’re lying; a glance away, a twitch of your mouth. Anything.

He doesn’t find one. His heart sinks and sings simultaneously and suddenly, he can barely breathe.

“Why?” He murmurs. Part of him thinks he’s not equipped to cope with your answer.

There’s a moment where you just... look at him. He’d say staring, but he doesn’t think that’s quite what this is. What you’re doing would be better described as seeing him; all of him. His heart, his soul. Everything.

“Good people can do bad things and still be good, Astarion. And being good doesn’t always mean being a saint.” Your voice is kind; tender. Maybe a little joking towards the end. He guesses you’ve seen the apprehension on his face when your hands slide down his arm to cradle his own. Dipping to catch his gaze, your own is suddenly serious; unwavering, “What happened to you, the things you did. None of that was your fault. You told me what Cazador did to you when you disobeyed him. I’d be just as terrible to deem you a monster for going along with it knowing what would have happened to you if you didn’t.”

Your words strike him like a hard blow to the chest. Perhaps he’s not all that concerned with being a good person, but he’s never truly wanted to be evil, either.

Eyes stinging, he lets out a shaky breath through his nose as he cups the nape of your neck to guide your forehead to his lips. He lingers there for a moment before he wraps his arms around you and pulls you in tight, mumbling against your hairline, “Thank you.”

Snaking your arms around his waist, you squeeze him just as fiercely, “Of course, my love.”

The laugh that escapes him comes out too watery for his liking, but he finds he doesn’t mind quite as much when its only you around to hear, “‘My love’? Isn’t that my line?”

You snort, and he feels you smile against his collar, “Perhaps.” “You do know that reusing material that isn’t yours is in poor taste, don’t you, darling?”

“Hush.” You pull back smiling, shaking your head as you ask in faux exasperation, “Now, will you please let me finish bandaging this?”

He follows your gaze to his arm and huffs dramatically, “I suppose.” “Oh, you suppose, do you?” You sass as you take hold of his wrist again, careful not to wrap the bandages too tight, “Do you also suppose you’ll sit still for me this time?”

“I do.” He grins.

And he does.

[nariism]

to the ends of our world — i. rin

academic rivals to lovers + "i could kiss you right now!" + "we fell asleep by accident and woke up as a mess of tangled limbs."

synopsis. all rin said was that he would help you with calculus. he didn't think he'd be waking up to your morning breath and wishing the moment would last forever.

wc. 1.6k

notes. kind of a highschool au where rin is out for the season because of an injury 🙏 also kind of a one-sided rivalry because rin is a loser :p

— for @itoshiexx <3 | event masterlist ✉️

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :���ﾟ. ───

I could kiss you right now.

Those were the last words you spoke to Rin almost an hour ago.

He's agonizing over it, really. He probably should have at least said something back to you instead of shutting you out like he does every time he feels himself getting too close.

Instead he's dutifully working through his calculus notebook.

If he focuses enough on perfecting derivatives, he can ignore the way your presence beside him has only gotten weightier. But it's hard to do that when the words are still echoing in his mind.

I could kiss you right now.

You're just as adamant on finishing your workbook, eyes glued to the page and attention completely devoted to making numbers dance.

When you asked him earlier in the day if he could help you with the new sets, he was confused. You'd always been the one to best him.

It irritated him. You reminded him too much of his big brother.

But then he saw your notebook. You'd hesitantly handed it over to him when you showed up at his doorstep with courtesy snacks and a bag of oranges for his mother.

(Which she gushed about, by the way. He felt like burying himself in a hole when she asked if you were dating.)

You'd been trying for so long to figure out the solutions that some areas of the page were torn where you had kept erasing and redoing the work. He even found things scribbled out in frustration.

He would have laughed if you didn't have such a grim look on your face. Rin was never one for humour, anyways.

He reluctantly agreed to help, though he was sure your other grades would make up for one botched math unit. It was the petty pride in him speaking—in reality, the way you looked like you were on the verge of tears was enough to send him into fight or flight mode.

He had never seen such a dazed, stressed expression on you before. You were the epitome of a model student—good grades, class representative, and friendly enough that no one ever wanted to step on your toes.

No one but Rin, that is.

He told himself he hated you. Goody-two shoes. Smiley. Obliviously and annoyingly cheerful. Successful enough to do anything you wanted to do, so long as you had the drive.

Everything Rin would have been if he hadn't injured his knee right before the football season started.

But what he thought he felt about you was a lie. He hadn't even realized it until you were sitting down on his bed, knee bumping into him as you lounged there criss-crossed.

He'd always just seen you as the person who sat in front of him in homeroom. Untouchable. He envied you, even though his grades were nearly as good now that he had all the time in the world to study.

Now, though, you're just as human as he is.

Rin can see your face instead of the back of your head. Your words are meant for him—thanking him, praising how easy his method for solving these equations is.

Then, you shattered his daydream.

I could kiss you right now.

You said it so unseriously, not even looking at him when you did. You had gotten to the end of your third page of work, conquering the math with ease now that you understood it.

It was your funny way of expressing gratitude. He knows you didn't mean anything by it, definitely. But it's been stuck in his mind.

And neither of you have uttered a word to each other since.

He nearly jumps out of his skin when you slam your pencil down in your notebook and shut it with an audible thud.

"Break time!" You sigh blissfully, though he isn't sure if you're talking to him or yourself.

You flop back into his mattress and he just stares in quiet disbelief while you scroll through your phone like you fucking pay rent here.

Rin debates whether or not to kick you off his bed so that he can finish his homework without distraction, or if he should just leave you be. Ultimately, he decides that it's too much of a hassle to deal with confrontation and silently goes back to doing derivatives.

He would feel bad shoving you away when you finally started talking to him, after all. And you look so at ease now, with your work almost done.

(Yeah, you started working at a faster pace than him with his method. You seriously piss him off.)

He comes to the conclusion that this is going to be a one-time thing. Rin hates the twist of despair in his stomach seeing you about to burst into tears.

He hates the peace that fills him when you're back to your smiling self even more.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Rin wakes up to warmth.

Groggily, he blinks the sleep out of his eyes until they adjust to the light of sunrise pouring into his room.

It's strange. He doesn't remember falling asleep at all.

What was he doing last night? He shifts a little bit and freezes when he hears the crinkle of paper beneath him.

Oh, his calculus homework. Did he finish it? It's due today.

He's just about to sit himself up to check the time and hope he has at least another hour to sleep before school, when he realizes much too late that there's a weight on his arm.

Rin gets yanked back by the arm that's pinned down, yelping quietly in surprise.

And then everything hits him like a goddamn truck.

Maybe more like a freight train, really, because he feels like he's about to have a fucking heart attack. Rin dares to turn his head, so comically slow that it's like life itself moves in slow motion.

Somehow in your sleep, you've become a tangled mess of limbs.

His arm is tucked under your neck—the culprit for making him whelp like a child when he tried to sit up. Your legs are twisted together and... Oh god. His free hand is resting where your hip melts into your thigh.

Panic rises in his chest because one, he's never had another person in his bed before. Period. And two, because there's heat boiling in the pit of his stomach and he's pretty sure he's about to keel over and pass away.

Just as he's about to shove you off the bed, realization dawns on him.

You look so peaceful when you sleep.

Your breath smells, and your hair has gotten tangled under the weight of his arm. You're muttering to yourself quietly in your sleep, and he's pretty sure he can see a bit of drool in the corner of your lip.

He so desperately wishes that his first thought would be to tease you about this until the end of time. Or maybe use it as blackmail against you, if you were to get a higher grade on the upcoming calculus exam because of his methods.

But instead, his first thought is that he never wants to move from this position. That he needs to savour this moment.

It's horrifying.

18 hours ago, you pranced up to the side of Rin's desk and asked if he could help you with the problem set.

All he said was that he would help you with calculus.

He didn't expect you to show up at his door right after dinner. And he didn't expect you to seat yourself on his bed before he could offer you the chair at his desk.

He certainly didn't think he'd be waking up to your morning breath and wishing the moment would last forever.

You've just been a bag full of mysteries. Rin hates mysteries. It's part of the reason why math works for him—no surprises, no ambiguity. There's always an answer.

Rin can't formulate an answer on why his heart feels like it's about to burst out of his ribcage.

You shuffle in his arms and suddenly the pounding in his chest ceases.

Is this what death feels like?

"Rin?" You murmur sleepily, shifting into his warmth as if this is something regular classmates should be doing. "What time is it?"

"I can't see the clock," he deadpans, though it's just a facade to hide how utterly enamoured he is right now. "It's behind you."

You groan, rolling over to check the time. He breathes a sigh of relief as you pull away but it gets stuck in his throat when you collapse back into him, your back against his chest.

"6:07," you tell him nonchalantly. And then you cozy yourself up in the blankets again, nice and warm, and go back to sleep.

"Hey," he shakes you lightly. "Don't just go back to bed, moron."

"We can talk about the homework later," you mumble as if that's what he fucking meant.

A million words run through his mind, parading to the tip of his tongue where they all fall off and die. He can't find them when you're slotting yourself closer and closer in your sleep, squeezing his arm against your cheek.

Eventually, he decides that it's not worth the hassle of getting up and having you see his flustered face right now. You'd never let him live it down.

So he closes his eyes and pretends that you're not just the person who sits in front of him in homeroom. Goody-two shoes. Smiley. Obliviously and annoyingly cheerful.

"I could..."

He swallows loudly, the words like molasses in his throat.

I could kiss you right now.

You're dead to the world, but he doesn't dare speak the thought into existence, anyway.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

("Rin! 95%!"

You shove your paper into his face and he opens his mouth to snark back about it.

But then you leap forward and press a kiss to his cheek. Everything in his head instantly melts into mush.

"You're the best," you gush.

He just glowers at you with burning red cheeks.)

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

In response to the Mile High Job post, I hate that Parker implies that poor flight attendant slept her way to a promotion/better shift. Her day is super weird but her cat is fine and her life is saved. That rumor, however, might stick and that didn't really feel like Leverage to me.

Agreed!

The thing with Leverage is that it's a show from the late 2000s; it feels contemporary, but actually it is a bit dated. And, like all shows, it had some problematic elements, which get a bit more Obviously Problematic as time goes by (I am just waiting for someone to write a lengthy call-out post in 5 years' time and for the Discourse to start.) For example, Tumblr loves to declare that Leverage has a "canon" throuple, but if anyone read that and then watched the show they would be profoundly disappointed - while it's a fantastic ship with a great many shippy instances, Elliot has a lot of onscreen No Homo moments, and frequently is shown sleeping with random women (I personally read him as aromantic). Similarly, there are two big relationships in that show: Nate/Sophie, and Parker/Hardison. And we all wax lyrical about the brilliance of Parker/Hardison and how healthy it is, and for good reason; but we gloss over how unbearably "I hate my wife/father I cannot click the book" Boomer humour Nate/Sophie is.

(He literally calls her a shrew in one episode. She throws a tantrum and sulks if he doesn't remember the exact details of how/where they met. She's stereotypically 'romantic' and he's stereotypically 'cynical' and she has to Save Him From Himself, and he self-deprecatingly says he should just know when to stop arguing because she's always right. Like... it is a grubby and uncomfortable dynamic; but, it's also aimed at a different segment of the audience that is older than me, and that's okay, actually. It just means I don't much care for the ship myself.)

Anyway, this is one other such instance. Clearly someone in the writers' room thought that was a funny joke, and not enough people disagreed, and so in it went. What's nice is that Sandi McCree, who plays the other flight attendant that stays on the plane, actually kind of saves that joke for me with her performance. When Parker first boards and declares that her co-worker is not coming in, McCree looks disgruntled at the sudden change to her staff list when she wasn't informed; she's annoyed at management. Then Parker makes the sleeping-with-pilots comment, and McCree looks disgusted and furious -

An expression she then pulls at Parker every time she sees her for the rest of the episode, even when Parker is technically not doing anything particularly weird. It's not necessarily intentional on McCree's part (Parker IS very weird in this episode, so it very much can be a response to that), but to me it means you can read it as "This woman is absolutely furious at the lateral sexism of this white girl because We Love And Support Each Other On This Plane." So, for me, between that and the aforementioned revelations of the day (the plane was brought down by the domestic terrorists of a Fortune 500 company, but saved by... a few unexplained Official People who snuck aboard??? And the other flight attendant was made to miss the plane after all under mysterious circumstances and was not promoted??? What???), I don't think Sandi McCree's character wouldn't put those pieces together.

[tryingtofindava]

creeps with a goth gf

𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐰 𝐚 𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡! 𝐆𝐅*ೃ༄

lolz didn’t know what specific creeps u wanted so imma just choose who!! ^_^ ALSO THE READER IS A TRAD GOTH!!

(INCLUDES: Jeff the Killer, Ticci Toby, Jane the Killer, Nina the Killer, Kate the Chaser, Clockwork.)

: ̗̀➛Back to Source

╰┈➤ 𝐉𝐞𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫

Has at least nearly roundhouse kicked you bcs he thought u were Jane on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS… (he’ll say he’s sorry in the most dull non apologetic way ever and probs doesn’t mean it.)

“My bad, I guess.”

He doesn’t care abt aesthetic that much I believe, as long as he finds you hot lolz.

Though when he’s out killing people and he sees something that catches his eye that he’d class ‘gothy as fuck’ he’d snatch it for you… so that’s sweet ig.

He deadass brought you a dead bat once…

╰┈➤ 𝐓𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐢 𝐓𝐨𝐛𝐲

HE LOVES U AND UR AESTHETIC SM

Midwest emo x trad goth, what a combo :3

His first words to you ever was that you looked like you crawled out a Tim Burton movie (he was tryna impress u with his film knowledge).

Type of guy to ask to make a shared Spotify playlist and try and learn all of the songs you like and force himself to learn the lyrics for you.

Bro will jump you just to get a hug, and when he finally pulls away you’ll just see the black imprints of your makeup on his white tee.

BEGS YOU TO GO THRIFTING TOGETHER TO FIND COOL THINGS TO WEAR FOR EACHOTHER!!

“T-this would luh-look so cool o-on you!!”

╰┈➤ 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫

TWINNING!! :D

She’s a trad goth too lmao.

You two definitely share clothes, no matter what it may be. Corsets, dresses, boots, gloves. Anything in the closet really you two own together :)

ALSO she WILL help you doing your makeup, not because you need the help just because she likes to practice so she doesn’t get rusty. (She mostly wears her mask so she doesn’t rlly do a whole lotta makeup besides lashes and lipstick)

Like Toby will take you thrifting (without the breaking in part).

╰┈➤ 𝐍𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫

She thinks your so so so super duper awesome sauce.

She’s a scene girly, so she LOVES the fact that your twos aesthetics are so different and unique from eachother.

Also likes helping to do your makeup, because she just wants to be able to do trad makeup to impress you.

WILL ASLO TAKE YOU TO THE THRIFT SHOP. (these guys like thrift shops okay)

Would love if you guys swapped wardrobes for a day.

“BABE, PRETTY PLEASE??? JUST FOR TWO MINUTES!! I’LL GIVE ‘EM BACK!!”

And you’ve deffo caught her in your clothes MULTIPLE times :3

╰┈➤ 𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐫

She doesn’t care all that much what you’re aesthetic is lolz.

She just wants someone in her life to love and to love her back.

But she does compliment your look nervously when the convo gets a lil too quiet.

Though you to catch her staring at you lovingly while doing your makeup.

She may bring you back little things that caught her eye that reminds her of you, that being anything rlly. BUT ESPECIALLY CLOTHING.

╰┈➤ 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤

She will compliment you every chance she gets. Mostly calling you hot and sexy.

SHE’S GOT THE HUMOUR OF A 12 YEAR OLD BOY WHO HASN’T HIT PUBERTY!! (And you love it and hate it at the exact same time.)

Like I mean she makes goth mommy jokes ALL THE TIME… there’s no stopping her. She cackles so hard afterwards after u scold her for it too.

“I love my big tiddy goth girlfriend<3”

“Nat, I swear to fuck-“

[smileysuh]

audio

🌙 staring. Hoshi x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. When you’d first started dating, you’d hardly been able to take one of his fingers without moaning like a whore in his ear. You’ve come a long way with your size training, but you definitely still need some good foreplay- when Soonyoung’s home, he has a thing for helping you squirt. It gets you all nice and perfectly lubed up for him, so easy to slip into- but while he’s on tour, you can never get yourself there, so he’s accustomed to audios of slow build-ups and lots of moaning

cw/tw. nsfw audio/ramblefap, use of toys, praise, dirty talk, exhibitionism, mutual masturbation, a little cumplay, mentions of edging, dirty boy Soonyoung, I petnames. (his) tiger boy, baby, soonyoung

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.9k

🍭 aus. established relationship au, tour!svt/long distance, etc...

☀️ mlist + an. we all need a boyfriend as obsessed as he is

“Your boyfriend is a menace.”

“Nice to hear your voice too, Seungkwan,” you laugh, stretching out on your couch to work your muscles after a long nap. “What did he do this time? How’s tour?”

“You know the audios you send him while we’re away?”

“Uh,” you tense up, “yeah, of course I know the audios I send him while you’re all away, how do you know about the audios?” 

“Because your menace boyfriend was listening to one in the gym today.”

“Like- out loud?!”

“No, but I stole his headphones briefly and-”

“Well that sounds like something that’s your own fault, now doesn’t it, Seungkwan? You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat.”

“I’m going to kill the cat, and by cat, I mean your tiger-loving boyfriend.” 

“Wait- but how was he working out to it without popping a boner?”

“That’s a very good question- one I did not stop to ask.”

“Yeah,” you let out a laugh, “what were you doing in the gym anyways?” 

“I hate you, and your stupidly horny boyfriend.”

Being on tour can be rough for a tiger boy like Soonyoung. Sure, he’s doing what he loves, performing, but he’s also… not doing what he loves (you). 

It’s especially hard for him when he’s in a country with an opposite time schedule to your own. Eleven-hour differences are a killer, but at least he has a whole album of pictures of you, and you’ve even taken to sending him audios every now and then.

They’re the type of audios that his members would identify as ‘porn,’ but to Soonyoung, they’re glorious ramblefaps that remind him of what he’s missing- as if he can’t remind himself enough already.

Days where he wakes up to new scandalous messages from you are some of his favourites, and when he checks his phone to find one waiting on his third day in LA - his second audio since arriving in the city - he’s downright ecstatic. 

He listens to the whole thing, in full, while slowly waking up. Soonyoung notes the ups and downs of the audio, the way you pick up your pace and slow down to edge yourself, and he quickly solidifies it in his memory.

Soonyoung is many things; he has a high resilience, an incessant need to prove himself in all areas. Even so, he needs to hear your ramblefaps alone before taking the sound with him to the gym. It’s the only way he’s able to keep a boner in check; if he busts one out first, then goes to work out, and finishes the audio in a bathroom or the closest deserted location.

Luckily for Soonyoung, his band has booked a whole LA property to share for the week they’re in the city, and the on-site gym has given him the privacy needed to already complete one workout listening to your sweet moans without too much hassle. 

Sure, Seungkwan had found him out, but Soonyoung really hadn’t tried that hard to hide what he was up to. 

He loves you, and he doesn’t care who in his group knows it. 

The audio you’ve sent is a little different than usual, and Soonyoung saunters into the gym with a grin on his face, ready to be equal parts amused by your humourous banter and turned on by your sounds.

“Shit.” It’s not the welcome he’d expected from Woozi, who stops spotting Dino to watch Soonyoung choosing dumbbells.

Dino also pauses his workout, sitting up, eyes following the self-proclaimed tiger.

“What are you guys looking at?” Soonyoung asks, taking a seat to begin arm curls.

“We heard you have a new playlist you listen to while working out,” Woozi says, deadpan. “And I want to remind you that Dino is very young-”

“I’m not a baby anymore,” Dino insists, but his unsure gaze returns to Soonyoung. “You’re not really listening to audios of your girlfriend, are you?”

“If it makes you feel better,” Soonyoung sighs, “I won’t listen to them until after you’re gone.”

Woozi grimaces. “That’s really not much better.” 

Soonyoung shrugs. “So I’ll listen to them now.”

“Aish-” Woozi groans, shaking his head. “We were just finishing up.”

“I want to stay a little longer,” Dino argues.

“No, you don’t” Woozi insists, grabbing the younger man’s arm to pull him to his feet. “How long is the audio this time? I’ll tell Jun and Joshie to wait a little before coming down here.”

Soonyoung’s surprised at Woozi’s offer, it’s almost nice. “Tell them to wait like, fifteen minutes?” he suggests. “Actually- maybe more like twenty.”

“You’re gross,” Woozi mutters as he drags Dino from the small gym.

Soonyoung’s already begun his workout with a few laughs, and he can anticipate the chuckles to come as he hits play on your audio and your cute little voice fills his headphones.

“Hey you-” he loves the way you still sound so shy at the start of these things. “So… a little birdie told me the cat’s out of the bag with this whole audio thing. And by a little birdie, I think we both know I mean Seungkwan.”

Soonyoung grins to himself, continuing his bicep curls with little care to the number of reps. He’s busy getting lost in your voice.

“I should have-” you sigh, and Soonyoung wonders for the second time if you’ve already started touching yourself. It’s hard to tell sometimes, you’re good at long rambles. “I should have known it would be hard for you to keep a secret- listening to me at the gym? What a dirty boy you are.” 

Of course he is, always the dirtiest boy, only for you.

“How’s that exhibition kink coming?” 

His grin widens.

“I uh-” it sounds like the phone shifts, there’s a rustle of fabric, and Soonyoung closes his eyes to imagine you lying in bed, “I missed you.”

He misses you too, like you wouldn’t believe. 

“It must be like- God, I don’t even know what time it is for you. I can’t keep up with all these changing places, changing times- but I do know that you’re asleep, or at least, you should be, if you know what’s good for you.”

There’s been once or twice where you’ve sent audios and he’s been awake- in instances like those, he skips the recording and calls you, eager to hear you in your post-orgasm bliss… and see if he can convince you to do a live show for him.

“I like the idea of you waking up to this today,” you continue, “going to the gym- being a menace. Are you in the gym, tiger boy? You probably are- I miss your pretty body. Miss the way you feel- miss touching you. Do you miss touching me?”

Fuck yeah he does. 

“Sometimes, when I get like this- I think about the fact that you left me with a toy smaller than you, and I get mad- but then I remember that you like to torture me with stuff like this. It takes longer to cum with a smaller toy- it doesn’t reach the spots you do… does it make for good, long audios? I bet you love knowing that I’m never truly satisfied- gives me something to look forward to when you come home.” 

You know him much too well. 

“I guess I always have my vibe though… can you hear it?”

The phone shifts again, and a buzzing sound fills Soonyoung’s senses. 

“Can you hear how wet I already am?” 

He can definitely hear you rubbing your pretty pussy along the toy, and he can see a perfect image of you in his mind’s eye. 

“The thought of you working out and listening to this-” you swallow thickly, “you’re gonna have to send me some pictures- you can do that, right, Soonyoung? For me?” 

Today, he’ll probably send you more than a few pictures.

“Fuck-” you whimper, and the sound of you grinding down on your vibe increases. Soonyoung turns up his volume, basking in it. “Feels so good- I think I’m almost ready for the other toy- almost wet enough-”

When you’d first started dating, you’d hardly been able to take one of his fingers without moaning like a whore in his ear. You’ve come a long way with your size training, but you definitely still need some good foreplay- when Soonyoung’s home, he has a thing for helping you squirt. It gets you all nice and perfectly lubed up for him, so easy to slip into- but while he’s on tour, you can never get yourself there, so he’s accustomed to audios of slow build ups and lots of moaning. 

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” you confess. “Saw your instagram pictures- surfing? You really know how to make a girl needy- wet suit pulled down to show off your chest- fuck. Such a pretty, pretty boy-”

Soonyoung’s pride swells in his chest, and he moves to the shoulder press machine. 

For a few seconds, you don’t say anything, but your whimpers are music to his ears, and so are the sounds of the vibrator being rubbed along your wet pussy.

“Wish this was your tongue- miss your mouth, and your fingers- you reach spots I never could.”

“You and your small hands,” Soonyoung breathes to himself, shaking his head a little. He thinks you’re one of the most adorable people in the world.

“Don’t- don’t make fun of me,” you say next, as if reading his mind, “we both- we both know you like my small hands. Like the way they look wrapped around your cock- fuck! Miss it so bad- do you miss my hands the way I miss yours?” 

More than you’ll ever know.

Soonyoung clenches his teeth, opening his eyes to watch himself in the mirror. His biceps bulge with each push. It helps him calm down and ground himself for a moment- he can feel the way his body is beginning to get a little too excited. 

He needs to pace himself. You’re still a ways off from cumming, and Soonyoung likes to follow you through your audio.

“Okay, okay-” you take a deep breath, “I’m gonna grab my other toy now, think I’m ready-”

Soonyoung continues listening, waiting patiently while you shift on your bed.

“Now I just have to… slip this in- shit, Soonie- That’s just the head, I think I can get a little more-” 

His pretty kitten, biting off more than you can chew.

Your whimpers fill his brain, and he can hear the toy shifting in and out of your core, can hear the slight squeak of your bed as you begin to rock your hips-

“Okay, yeah- just, mmmfph- just a little more- fuck, wish this was you, wish this was you so fucking bad-” you take a shaky breath, “okay, it’s in-”

He can imagine your toes curling, head thrown back, eyes closed- you’re always such a vision for him.

“Fuck-” your voice is as airy as ever, he loves it when you get like this, “it’s so big- not as big as you, but still- I haven’t- mmmfph- I haven’t been using it much- fuck, feels so full-” 

The sound of your bed rocking returns, and then the vibrator- 

“Oh my god- fuck- feels so good today, I can’t- god, I miss you-” it sounds like you’re close to tears, and again, Soonyoung feels blood beginning to rush to his cock.

He opens his eyes, staring at himself in the mirror, trying to focus on calming down, but it’s hard when he has you moaning “wish you were here, wish you were here fucking me-” in his ear.

“Maybe- maybe I need to slow down- I’m gonna cum too fast,” you let out a small laugh, “I’ll try to hold off to the fifteen-minute mark- to give you at least part of a workout now that I know you listen to these in the gym-”

You’re so considerate of him. He hears the vibrations go down a notch, and you slow on your bed rocking too. 

“There- I’ll just go slow and deep- like you fuck me- like you tease me when I get close and you’re not ready for it yet- you love edging me.”

He does.  

“Fuck- my legs are shaking-” so are his arms.

You begin to moan again, rambling subsiding in favour of uncensored sounds of pleasure, and Soonyoung takes the opportunity to move to the leg press machine. 

“Hope you’re- hope you’re having a good workout, baby.”

He loves it when you call him baby- loves all the pretty pet names you give him.

“Fuck- this stupid toy really doesn’t hit the spots you do-” you groan again, fucking yourself harder- 

The sound of the silicon base hitting your wet pussy is enough to have Soonyoung nearly moaning-

He misses your pretty cunt- misses the way you taste, the way you get so wet for him. You’re always so responsive, and it’s one of the many things he loves about you.

“Want your cock-” you whimper. “Please, fuck- Soonyoung-”

The hair on the back of his neck raises with interest, he always begins to go feral when you call him by his full name. 

“Soonyoung-” you moan again, the vibrations going a notch louder. “Fuck- I’m so wet- fuck- need you so bad- oh my god-”

You’re close to cumming, and Soonyoung can’t even fault you for getting to the edge this fast. 

Standing from the workout machine, he quickly heads to the small bathroom next to the gym, closing the door and locking it.

You’ve been whimpering in his ear the whole time, and as soon as Soonyoung is shut into the privacy of the bathroom, he allows himself to focus on the blood rushing to his cock.

“Shit-” he mutters, lifting his shirt to expose his abdomen, catching the fabric in between his teeth to hold it there before reaching a hand into his sweatpants to pull out his hard, aching length. 

He’s already practically dripping in precum from edging himself throughout your whole audio, and he smooths it over his skin for lubrication-

“I’m gonna- fuck, Soonyoung, I’m gonna cum soon- can I cum? Please- I wanna cum- want you to cum- miss your cum-”

His little cum slut, god, he loves you so much-

“Wanna be filled so bad-” you continue to whine, voice getting pitchier. “This toy isn’t enough- fuck- it’s not enough- I’m so close-” 

You let out a strangled sound as the vibrations go up one final notch, the highest setting. 

“Shit- shit- please- I know you’re at the gym, but please- want you to cum with me- you’ll cum with me, right?” 

This is why he pre-vets your audios- if he’d been hit with this unexpectedly, he’d have fully busted a nut on the leg press machine.

“Fuck- ok, I’m almost there, I’m almost there- fuck- shit, shit, shit-” you let out something between a squeal and a gasp, and it has Soonyoung’s entire body tingling- he teeters on the edge with you, abdomen clenching with tension- “I’m cumming- Soonyoung, Soonyoung, Soonyoung- oh my god- oh my god-” 

He’ll be damned if there’s ever a time when hearing you cum doesn’t immediately set him off as well. 

Soonyoung throws his head back, biting down on his shirt while he falls over the edge, coating his own chest and abdomen in rope upon rope of cum while your sounds fill his ears and drive him wild.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck-” you continue to whimper and whine as you both ride out your orgasms, and then you let out a loud gasp, the vibrations coming to an abrupt halt. 

He listens to your shaky breaths as his hand slowly comes to a stop on his cock.

After a beat of silence, your voice comes back, a teasing tone returning; “Did you cum with me, baby?” You give him the space to respond, and, knowing you can’t hear him anyways, Soonyoung simply nods, still trying to calm the rapid racing of his heart. “I’d like to imagine you came too- at least,” you sigh, “I hope you did.” 

He can’t help but smile.

“Sorry it was kind of short- like I said, I’ve been needy all day.” You swallow thickly, taking another deep breath. “I just miss you… a lot”

A few moments of comfortable quiet allow you both to continue catching your breaths. 

“I’m pretty tired, so I’m going to sleep now- but, I’ll send you a text when I wake up. Like I said earlier… send me some pics… please.” You release a small laugh. “Okay, goodnight Soonyoung, love you. Enjoy your workout.”

He’s done with his work out though. He’d been thinking he might be able to return to it earlier, but after cumming as hard as he just did- there’s no way he can go back to the machines. 

Soonyoung is quick to snap a few pictures of his abs, covered in cum, shirt still captured between his teeth- he knows these will make you as feral as you make him, something for you to wake up to. 

Then, he grabs a wet paper towel, cleaning himself, and thinking of all the ways he can really return the favour.

☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! I kind of enjoy how phone call/audio things allow more dialogue and ramblefam type writing :)

🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below! 

🔮 preview. “I haven’t touched myself yet- wanted to wait till I was recording, but fuck- listening to you cum while I was at the gym earlier was so hot-” he takes a shaky breath. “Okay, now I’m touching myself… wanna see?”

cw/ tw. nsfw audio/ramblefap, use of toys, praise, dirty talk, exhibitionism, mutual masturbation, a little cumplay, I petnames. (hers) baby, princess

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 1.9k I teaser wc. 240

🌙 staring. soonyoung x afab!Reader  

bonus

You’re half asleep when you reach for your phone, latching onto the device and rolling onto your back to burrow under your duvet again. There are multiple notifications from Soonyoung, and you click on one absentmindedly, still blinking away the last inklings of hazy sleepiness.

The picture that immediately pops up and fills your screen nearly makes you choke, and you sit up, rubbing your eyes before focusing on the image of Soonyoung.

It’s a mirror selfie, his shirt caught between his teeth, washboard abs on show- and his body is dripping with cum. 

You zoom in with your fingers, licking your lips as you assess the photo- as you assess your boyfriend, in all his glory. 

He’s got the cutest little smirk, even with his shirt partially obscuring his mouth, and there’s a mischievous glint in his eye- you’re reminded why you love the charming gemini all over again. 

The next picture is a selfie without use of the mirror, and only half of Soonyoung’s face is in it. He’s holding the camera at an angle, showing off the teeth biting into fabric and a perfect shot of his chiseled torso. 

You’re wide awake now, sitting up in bed, sleeping shorts getting wetter by the second. 

There’s more than just images, you realize, as you exit the picture to send a message to your boyfriend. There are videos too. A few of them- and your heart flip flops in your chest.

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[timkontheunsure]

Part 1 Blitz & BPD coding

Ok quick bit first before getting into the nitty-gritty. So to have BPD you need to have 5 of these 9 traits:-

(putting as by proxy with him cus damage your image is harmful to your psyche).

Poor bugger looks to have 9 of 9

Alot of BPD patterns and strategies comes from childhood trauma, and Blitz has this in spades.

Scapegoat and attachment style

Cash is clearly a narcissistic Dad, see the kids as tools.

Cash uses Blitz's love and Strong attachment to his Mum to force Blitz to be useful to him, and do what he wants.

This sends the very strong message that love is conditional. That it is bought through what he can do for another. And that without being useful love and affection will be withdrawn, because he doesn't really deserve it.

We see wee tinny Blitzo struggles with making balloon animals, is a little clumsy, has a sense of humour that not a crowd pleaser. This puts him at the bottom of the pecking order.

This position is the scapegoat. Blamed for anything that goes wrong (fire), to keep the others in line (Fizz told done on purpose), given the most dangerous jobs (rob a Goetia), and given the lest love and affection.

Narcissist see people as tools or a burden. All love from Cash is conditional/transactional.

How Blitz gets love is to be used or to be useful. This the rule.

Affection freely given can't be trusted. It is a lie. This why any Stolas shows has to be either ignored, or change to a kink of "getting plowed by people you look down on". Making himself used.

But Stolas breaks this when he says Blitz "no longer have any obligation to see me, to touch me, to bed me, you are... you are free of me." He panics that he's being abandoned; "I can be better", "I'm I not fucking you good enough" are his immediate responses. Trying to get back to the safety of what he knows.

If they're no 'obligation' then there can't be affection and he wants to Stay with Stolas. And if there's no 'obligation' Stolas telling him he cares must be a lie.

He's slowly coming to see that this isn't always the case in apology tour; when his "earning" his way through sex is rebuffed again.

(It may not be Stolas' kink; but being fucked by an all powerful prince who degraded his a little might be Blitz's 🤭).

After the accident this rule gets a second fun extra playmate that anyone who loves him will be hurt. So Blitz must push them way, to keep them safe from him. These 2 rules give Blitz the disorganised fearful-avoidant attachment style. (Woo go him, give him a cookie. Or you know all the nope, but still give him a cookie).

Disorganised fearful-avoidant attachment comes with a push-pull of wanting to be close but close relationships are scary. (Like running away from Voroskia for loving him).

He is getting better by refusing to be dismissed by Stolas, and coming back the next morning. And even talking to him at the party.

But mostly this bit: "Oh, sorry, this entire time I assumed the worst because I was convinced a prince could never love someone like me, and I've let my self hatred stop me from apologizing to anyone I could ever care about!" Blitz in a nutshell everybody.

His self hatred makes him to self sabotage any romantic relationship before it gets to deep. To protect the people he likes and makes sure they can't love him. Because he doesn't deserve it. Thems the rules after all.

Cash and the accident has taught Blitz to hate himself.  

It's also likely why Blitz thinks apologies are for pussys, and that no one deserves one anyway.  Those sound like words put in his mouth for daring to ask his dad to say sorry. 

He doesn't think he's worth it.

(Added the cuddles pic cus I like the cuddles). And Blitz still doesn't trust that he deserved to be forgiven by Fizz.

This self hatred is why he can't picture anyone loving him, let alone Stolas

"This whole thing we had going... I'm- I mean you're a fucking prince. How could you ever actually care for an imp... Me? How could anybody?" "Stolas, you are better off without me. 'Kay? You deserve so much... I don't even".

No one is allowed to want him.

End of part 1

I'll stick the link to the next part when I get done it, but might be a bit.

Next time some such fun shenanigans as:

Difficulty regulating emotions

Being a burden & how to be useful to IMP

Spitting

Massive fear of abandonment

Emotional loops

The Deal

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Self hatred & the Belief others Must hate him

(his cookie)

As normal is absolutely fine if you don't agree. This is just something I like to do.

[spncvr]

waiting room | s. reid

summary: spencer can't seem to escape the girl in the waiting room

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of reid's addiction & tobias hankel, mentions of kidnapping and mass shootings (in, like, a joking way??) my terrible, terrible humour, ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE LMAO, this is deffo terrible, pls tell me if i missed anything!!

a/n: ok idk if i wanna continue this and make it a series so lmk lol (also im on writers block so i literally can't come up with SHIT)

SPENCER REID WAS a pessimist.

At least, that’s what he’d call himself. His colleague, Derek Morgan would most likely (and by most likely, he means, definitely already has) call him an overanalysing introvert. But in Spencer’s defense, there has never really been a good reason to go out and “live your life”. Consider this:

Go to the new coffee shop? Mass shooting.

Go to the mall? A child gets abducted.

Leave the apartment for a short while? A stalker finds out where he lives, kidnaps him in his sleep, and, in a nightmarish turn, auctions off his organs to the bidder in the black market.

Besides, his life isn’t some John Green book. There were no life-affirming adventures or poetic moments of self-discovery awaiting him. Carpe diem? A fanciful notion for others, but for him, not so much. Sorry, Mr. Keating.

Yet life—or more accurately, bureau protocol— had its own plans. Ever since the Tobias Hankel incident, a visit to the psychologist wasn’t just a request but rather (unfortunately for him) an order. Which meant, he’d have to risk his entire life to get up and walk for ten whole minutes just to sit and wait, in this glaringly bright waiting room, when he could have stayed at home and read the new books he’d gotten from his team as a get-well gift.

Speaking of which, why the gifts? He was fine. Physically, at least. But really, when have you ever seen get-well-soon cards in an asylum? Well, alright, maybe he was being a little bit dramatic. A visit to the psychologist doesn’t mean he’ll be institutionalised—but then again, Spencer Reid was never one to wear rose-tinted glasses. 

This is his third time in the waiting room, and she’s always there. He isn’t sure as to why she is, because, well, unlike himself, she was very clearly an optimist—and at least, from the looks of it, she hasn’t been kidnapped and drugged in the past month. But she's sitting there again, in the exact same chair for the past three weeks, along with a beacon of smiles where joy usually fears to trend. Maybe, he isn't as good of a profiler as he’d like to think he is.

“Dr. Reid?” the call of his name rips him out of his thoughts. He looks up to see the same kind woman he’s seen the past three weeks—not the one in the waiting room, no, he means his therapist.

Dr. Brown was easy to profile: She wore heels to make herself look taller, and she hated wearing glasses, apparent by how she would continuously place them atop her head instead of her nose. Her teeth were abnormally perfect, which meant, she’d had to wear braces when she was younger—which (from his humbling experience) means she wasn’t exactly the most popular at school. Perhaps, psychology felt appealing to her because she could help people like her. 

“How are you?” she asks, her pen clicking.

Usually, he’d offer her a meek shrug. The kind that could win awards for its commitment to non-commitment. Besides, he’s not one to talk about how he feels—there isn’t much to say, anyway. And let’s face it,  “How are you?” in the grand tapestry of human interaction is almost as genuine as a three-dollar bill. And, get this, the average person asks “How are you?” 6,739 times a year but only listens to the answer about half the time—well, okay, maybe those numbers might have been fabricated, but isn’t the sincerity behind the question also made up? But instead of telling her all this, he remembers what Hotch had told him, one, two, three weeks ago: that he ought to cooperate with Dr. Brown or the board won’t be happy. So, he kisses his teeth before he says:

“Fine. I’m fine.”

And the session went on.

PLS TELL ME IF I SHLD CONTIUE OR NOT LOLOLOL spam my inbox with ideas I BEG.

[cityofmeliora]

notes / thoughts on Terzo's characterization (Terzo is so disappointed and depressed and i love him)

a few weeks ago i saw this post from slavghoul which has snippets of TF describing the Papas. it includes this quote:

“He represents this frustrated old guy who hates everyone, especially himself. But despite his wounds and his darkness, he has a sense of humour and is endearing, like most of my heroes. The late actor Christopher Lee was an inspiration to me. In many ways, he is Papa.” (Metallian 7/2015)

i thought this quote was really interesting because i'd never seen anyone talking about that side of Terzo before. Terzo hating "everyone, especially himself" felt at odds with the charming personality he typically displayed. i wanted to know how that developed and where his "wounds and darkness" came from. so i did some digging for quotes on Terzo's history and characterization. here are my notes + thoughts:

something that came up again and again in my research is that he is actually quite antisocial when he's not performing. it seems like he didn't want people to know anything about him past his stage persona.

TOUR MANAGER: No one in the crew really gets to see or speak to Papa, ever. Only Anna and myself have access. He is not in the building and then he'll just be there, just for show time. The only thing you really need to know about Papa is what you see of him on stage. Ghost - The Devil's Hands (Documentary) (2017)

he almost never interacted with any of the nameless ghouls or the tour crew. in fact, he really went out of his way to avoid them. he traveled separately, would appear right before the start of a show, and then he would disappear as soon as it ended. in "The Devil's Hands", it showed they sometimes had trouble locating him when he was needed.

With this new era, can you introduce Papa Emeritus III? NAMELESS GHOUL: I don't know him very well yet. We haven't really done our mileage with him, so I am sure that we will find out. But he seems nice. He seems okay. Obviously, he's very close relatives with Papa number two, who was a little bit of a hmm. I'm sure that he isn't like, completely different, but we'll find out. He's a bit of a recluse, and he sort of travels on his own. And he sort of appears when we're due onstage and then he disappears when we're offstage. So yeah, I guess we have a little bit of a social disconnect there, but I don't see a big problem with that. I mean he seems to be doing well on his own, and I don't know if he has a little harem somewhere that occupies his time offstage, I guess. I'm assuming that. Loud TV (July 2015)

INTERVIEWER: How has it been working with the third Papa? How is he fitting into the group? NAMELESS GHOUL: We like him, actually. He seems to be quite nice. Obviously, we haven't really done our "miles" with him yet, so we don't know him that well. And he doesn't travel with us- he sort of goes separately everywhere, and he appears just before the show and then he just disappears. So we haven't really had the time to sort of fully get to know him. But overall, he seems quite a joyful chap. Metal Injection (September 2015)

predictably, his bandmates did not know him very well. but they always remarked that they liked him and that he seemed like a nice, chill guy. (they also assumed he had a harem that he spent time with when he wasn't performing, which is probably not true, considering how much effort he put into avoiding people whenever possible.)

NAMELESS GHOUL: We don't really socialize with Papa, so… But he seems nice! But he's very occupied in his harem. [...] He's a little bit cooler. He seems to be the nicer of the two brothers --I don't know if there are two-- but he seems to have, I don't know, a kinder mother, probably, or something that makes him slightly.. INTERVIEWER: A little different. NAMELESS GHOUL: Yeah, he's a little bit different. AMBY (October 2015)

i don't think his charming, pleasant demeanor was just an act, though. i think it did come from a genuine part of himself... he wasn't always an antisocial recluse.

before he became Papa, he was a cardinal in Krakow, Poland. Bishop Necropolitus Cracoviensis (the character representing Zbigniew Bielak, the artist who does the album art for Ghost) characterized younger Terzo as having enthusiasm in all his endeavors. he was always a very devoted member of the clergy who had big dreams of progress and modernization for the Ministry and the world. he had a strong interest in Futurist art and philosophy.

Bp. Necropolitus Cracoviensis remembers: "...our relationship goes a long way back to the times before his papacy, that is when he was still a cardinal in my hometown, in Cracovia...(...) Although we had our share of juvenile recklessness - be it indulging his beloved cream pies - allegedly verging on six hundred sixty six portions a year but that must be a rumor I believe, or wild parties at the attic of seminary school (laughs) - even in his formative years, he remained a focused man of vision, looking far into the future, always addressing his people's needs and longings to keep our church together in those turbulent, rapidly changing times (...) there were so many temptations to syndicate among our good people (...) (...) We would sit down to studying exciting Futurist manifestos, sketched the blueprints of utopian metropoles, spiked with shiny skyscrapers stabbing at the heavens belly... Wantonly swollen zeppelins would to carry our gospel of indulgence to the farthest corners of the globe to summon and enslave. (...) Forged in nostalgia of steam and fire, this brave new world of ambition, vice, lust and greed - all so inherent to the enlightened modernity, was always with him through all these years. And it is now - when our church continues to grow stronger and wealthier under wise reign of Papa Emeritus III - that these visions may finally be witnessed and embraced in the preachings of 'Meliora' - his most contemporary and humane Encyclical." (https://www.facebook.com/thebandghost/posts/994031900615606)

those core values of ambition, vice, lust, and greed stayed with him when he became Papa. though he had a revolutionary spirit, he's actually described as "less rebellious" in Metal Myths. Terzo took his job as Papa very seriously, and he cared about being successful and achieving his goals. while he and Secondo certainly had vice, lust, and greed in common, it was Terzo's ambition that truly set him apart.

"It felt like the goal was to take Papa II's sense of modernity and remove the recklessness." Metal Myths: Ghost Pt. 2 (April 2022)

How would you describe the personality of Papa Emeritus III compared to his predecessors? NAMELESS GHOUL: "First of all, Papa Emeritus III is an entertainer! He loves projectors, he loves the public, and he loves success. The first Papa Emeritus was someone very rigid, very strict, and very solemn. A real son of a bitch! (laughs) To be honest, we don’t miss him at all! Papa Emeritus II was a pervert a little bit sadistic, and, in hindsight, I think he wasn’t very at ease on stage. He wasn’t a showman, unlike Papa Emeritus III! Him, he’s the guide we missed to rise up the quality of our shows, to reach the step above and communicate with our fans." (MyRock #44 (2017) translated from French by @ a-wandering-ghoulette)

unfortunately, his ambition eventually led him to become disillusioned and depressed.

Terzo looked forward to becoming Papa. he worked so hard for it his whole life, only to be confronted with the realization that his time as Papa --and therefore his achievements-- would be limited.

he was a nice guy, but he was also was egotistical. he was a showman and an intellectual, and he thought very highly of himself.

NAMELESS GHOUL: He's a little bit more chill. But obviously, all the Papas are definitely pompous assholes. INTERVIEWER: That's part of the job. SPECIAL GHOUL: That's one of the criterias, the prerequisites, that you have to be this sort of flamboyant diva, know-all, show-off. Metal Injection (September 2015)

his self-hatred came from his inability to be the person he wanted to be. it's not that he felt like he couldn't measure up, it's that he felt like he wasn't allowed to express his full potential. Terzo's mindset was "i know i'm good enough. and i could prove it if they would just let me." but he wasn't really in charge, and his vision was at odds with the goals of Sister Imperator.

Terzo felt so stifled, it makes sense that he became a "frustrated old guy who hates everyone, especially himself."

and i think this is the reason for the paradox of him having a kind, charming personality onstage and being unsociable offstage. he still gave it his all. he did the best he could with the time and resources he was allowed. that zealous man of the people was still in there somewhere. but he felt betrayed by the clergy, the organization he dedicated his life to. his career ended up being unfulfilling and he was ultimately really bitter about the way things turned out.

he was good. he never got to be great.

[cartierre]

HEAD OVER HEELS | al

SOCIAL MEDIA!AU arthur leclerc x fem!equestrian!reader

side note: i think this is short but i also think i've lost the ability to know what's long, what's short and what's the proper length for an smau fic.

♡ liked by arthur_leclerc, charles_leclerc and 45,938 others

tagged: ralphlauren

yourusername i'm honoured to have been chosen by ralphlauren as their new ambassador for equestrian fashion! i'm excited for the upcoming collaborations and future work together!

view all 635 comments

user1 how can she be so effortlessly pretty while riding a literal whole ass animal ⤷ user2 it's literally a photoshoot, she's supposed to look gracefully ⤷ user3 horse back riding is actually really graceful

arthur_leclerc looking absolutely stunning mon amour (my love) comment liked by yourusername

user4 love how arthur is constantly supporting y/n ⤷ user5 boyfriend of the year

user6 when will we see you in the paddock again?

♡ liked by arthur_leclerc, clementnovalak and 41,273 others

tagged: arthur_leclerc

yourusername one year with my favourite french person ♡

view all 529 comments

user7 FRENCH? ⤷ user8 i think it's a joke

user9 not y/n taking the piss out of arthur hating to be called french hahahahaha

arthur_leclerc you're so funny ⤷ yourusername the funniest

user10 i just know arthur could never be mad at y/n even if he tried i mean look how he looks at her as if she's the most precious girl on the planet ⤷ arthur_leclerc in my eyes she is the most precious girl on the planet

♡ liked by arthur_leclerc, ralphlauren and 42,293 others

tagged: ralphlauren

yourusername preparing myself for the f2 paddock fashion game with ralphlauren

view all 472 comments

user11 girl got one brand deal and is now riding the wave ⤷ user12 she's literally an ambassador ⤷ user13 miss ma'am better get that bag

user14 she's so old money i love her

arthur_leclerc la plus belle fleur ✿❀ (the most beautiful flower) ⤷ yourusername pulling out google translate ⤷ yourusername nah stop it i'm blushing

user15 i want to be her so bad

user16 honestly now with her collab with ralphlauren i'm definitely excited for her fashion game the upcoming season

♡ liked by arthur_leclerc, charles_leclerc, ralphlauren and 46,938 others

tagged: ralphlauren, arthur_leclerc, charles_leclerc

yourusername i missed arthur in his lil slutty fireproofs

view all 653 comments

user17 i love y/n's humour

user18 yeah those fireproofs are doing the drivers really justice

arthur_leclerc i'm taking this as a compliment, thank you ⤷ yourusername don't let it get to your head

user19 y/n looks so good, arthur should keep her close or else i'm gonna snatch her away

user20 ralph lauren is really doing god's work y/n looks absolutely gorgeous ⤷ yourusername did i not look absolutely gorgeous before? ⤷ arthur_leclerc you always looked and always will look absolutely gorgeous

[bloodstained-ballgowns]

i just rewatched ‘the woman who fell to earth’ a couple of days ago for the first time since it aired back in 2018 and the more i think about it, the more i like it.

thirteen is the only doctor for whom i feel a tangible, rose-tinted nostalgia. she wasn’t my first doctor, but she was the first doctor i watched live, the first doctor that i spent an actual extended period of time with over the episode rollout. her intro episode has middling parts (as can be expected with most episodes of Who) but there’s also so much good that i really want to highlight.

first of all, there are some really great character dynamics set up here. much more interesting than i remember, tbh. ryan is a guy who loves mechanics but is stuck in a warehouse job he hates, a guy who obviously wants to connect to people, a guy who by the end of the episode has lost both his mother and grandmother in the space of a couple of years and the step-grandfather he didn’t really want is all he has left (minus his absent father). that’s interesting.

yaz has a keen sense of justice and this raw, intense yearning to help people, to do something worthwhile, something more - the way she has chosen to express that is through law enforcement, but it’s not quite giving her the satisfaction she wants. that’s interesting.

graham’s experience with cancer means that he constantly feels like he’s living on borrowed time. meeting grace gave him purpose, gave him family, gave him the will to fight when he fought it was all but over, but now grace is gone. he and ryan aren’t related, but they’re family, and now they’ve got to figure out how to care for each other without the very lynchpin that brought them together. once again with feeling: interesting!

“i’m just a traveller. sometimes i see things that need fixing. i do what i can.” i like that they circle back to the ‘just some guy’ portrayal of the doctor here, both because it’s the one i’m partial to and because it feeds particularly well into the whole ‘the doctor is an unreliable narrator’ aspect, especially in the wake of the increased deification in the moffat era. it's a nice set up, even if it gets completely overhauled circa series 12/13. in fact, having thirteen keep this as a persistent attitude throughout the Timeless Child of it all could have been really effective re: her reticence with her companions and refusal to address or deal with her past.

the scene where thirteen builds her sonic screwdriver might be one of my favourite sequences in nuwho. i love that it’s a hybrid of alien tech and sheffield steel. i also love that they highlight the ‘mad inventor’ side of the doctor here (her teleportation circuit is based around a microwave?) and wish that they had carried it forward more. it would have been the perfect basis for her to bond with ryan over. jodie also pulls off the humour of the episode well, considering the significant shift from moffat dialogue.

i enjoy thirteen's outfit: the vibrancy of it as mirroring her childish excitability, but also as another part of the mask - if i dress all colourful then maybe i can ignore/outrun/masquerade my great capacity for darkness! etc etc. the shopping trip with yaz and ryan is a bit shoe-horned in at the end but it's cute that she finds it in a charity shop. (back in 2018 i bought a t-shirt with a couple of stripes across the chest solely because it remotely resembled the one she wore lol. nerd from a young age, me.) jodie also looks soo hot in capaldi's outfit though so a spin on the traditional suit would also have been appreciated.

some miscellaneous points: i like that she tells Karl off (“you had no right to do that”) right after saving him. i like that she gets it wrong at first and makes it clear that she’s working on the fly. she’s following her instinct, and that instinct is to help people. doctor who has been beautiful before but the cinematography takes such a huge step this era. “it’s been a long time since i bought women’s clothes” i am choosing to believe this is about river thank you and good night.

[ghcstao3]

i don’t usually do high school aus but. an idea regardless

soap is popular. charming, sweet, athletic, smart—there isn’t any reason to hate a boy like him, and it’s no surprise that so many girls (and guys) fawn over him.

but try as they might to score a date with john mactavish—the feat is impossible, when soap himself only has eyes for someone else, someone who seldom looks his way.

ghost is nearly invisible to most of the student body, save for his few friends, teachers, and, of course, soap. he doesn’t mind this at all—the opposite, in fact. he just wants to be done with secondary and move on with his life afterwards, so he’s more than happy to blend into the background, both purposely and incidentally.

he has no idea about soap’s crush, even when it’s so blatantly obvious.

though, that could be a cause of soap’s failed attempts to make it known. like, for example, offering to do ghost’s homework for one of their science classes—which only ends up irritating ghost because it makes him think popular boy is trying to say i’m dumb, when soap had just offered because ghost seemed stressed with other courses.

it takes being assigned partners for a big project to finally get the point across. soap invites ghost over to work on it, and once they get over the initial speed bump of awkward conversation and splitting up work, they ease into a rhythm and find that they actually work really well together. they share humour, interests, dislikes; it’s no surprise a proper friendship blossoms out of it.

soap does his best to keep his crush in check, only because it’s a bit more time before ghost’s own develops, but it’s from there the natural progression from friends to boyfriends.

ghost is a little uncomfortable at first, of course, because soap is popular and that means people perceiving him—but when soap also stares at him with complete adoration in his eyes, and firmly deflects any flirting attempts with him when people butt past ghost like he doesn’t exist, it’s something he can get over.

and soap? well—he’s over the moon. he doesn’t think anything could be better than being able to say he’s with the simon riley.