#I also posted this to instagram but that accounts pretty much silent now

[tainebot01]

A silly little drawing from January last year, based on the difference between book and movie Toothless.

[moonystoes]

Nurse? - Elisa De Almeida x reader (highschool students)

Summary: When the school has never felt this empty, you decide to escape the students by helping out the nurse. Only to find out you can't escape her.

Warning: yap sesh I'm sorry, confusion??(girl me too idk), an annoying guy x

Wc: 5.670k

A/n: Ugh writing the summary is worse than the whole fic wtf. Also finding pics and trying to make the coloring match is shit I'm sorry LMFAO. Apologies for the late post, I've been going through it in school. and as I said again, im pretty new to writing so constructive criticism or advice is needed :)

Part one

This is FANfiction. Please don't view Elisa this way.

-

“Do you know who you're going to prom with?” You turned to look at Sam, walking down the school hallway to your shared class. Prom has been a topic of conversations since they first revealed it two months ago. Now, prom will happen in two weeks, and all the young teens are procrastinating to look for partners.

“Ugh, no! I don't even know why our school decided to add this thing. We don't have to copy Americans, let them do their thing and we will do our thing.” She groaned loudly. You looked around you, noticing people glancing at her weirdly.

“Okay… but the students voted for it, not the school. So technically it's our fault.” You whispered, tugging her closer to remind her to lower her voice. You thought about who might ask you out. Xavi has been eyeing you for a while, but he was caught creating fake Instagram accounts to catfish girls. So there is no possible way of you agreeing to go with him. Edward was a year older than you, and you've been chatting with him at lunch. As much as you enjoyed the conversations with him, you didn't feel anything with him. He was the most attractive guy in his grade, his hazel eyes and dark skin made the girls swoon around him. For you, his personality isn't as attractive as his face, therefore you aren't crazy about him.

Then there is Paul, your childhood friend. You've known him since first grade, sitting together at the school park. In your head, you had imagined your friendship to stay forever, until you both get jobs and live close to each other. But after the both of you hit puberty, he started to act weird and felt uncomfortable around you. You hated it, but you knew it was bound to happen anyways.

It also didn't help you how attractive he grew to be, his short dark hair matched his brown eyes but also contrasted with his pale skin. His soft smile and attentive personality made many of the girls attach to his hip. You were never insecure about your looks, but now you started to question yourself. Did he stop our friendship because I was too ugly?

At some point, some of the girls came up to you and asked what he likes so they can ‘buy him a gift’. Your response was an easy lie, ‘I don't remember, it's been years.’

That doesn't make you guys strangers, he still comes and talks to you every once in a while, just like now.

“Hey y/n… can we talk privately?” Paul startled you. You turned to look at him with confusion, the last time you talked to each other was last month when he asked for the English homework (which you reluctantly gave to him out of kindness… and because you're a people pleaser). You glanced at Sam to check if she's okay with you leaving her, she gave you a small nod and left the both of you alone.

“So… have any plans for the winter dance? Or prom I don't even know what it is.” He awkwardly grabbed your arm and pulled you to the side of the corridor to not interrupt the people walking.

“Are you asking me out as your date?” You questioned slowly.

“What! No…i mean yes. Do you want to come with me?” He shook his head, obviously distracted with something. You stayed silent for a few seconds to think about it. You aren't a ‘party’ person, but the winter prom is a new thing and you wanted to experience it for once. Paul was a complicated guy, he wouldn't talk to you for months and then approach you like nothing happened. At least when he does approach you, he treats you right, or that’s what you thought.

“Sure…do you have any planning? For the dress or just the day as a whole?” You asked. Everytime you watch an American teen movie, you imagine yourself and Mr. Perfect together at a shop buying a dress, the shocked face when they see you going down the stairs all glammed up, going to dinner before prom, and having a soft kiss at the dance…. Although now you don't really feel like sharing your first kiss with Paul.

“Oh?... What thing for the dress? And no, I didn't volunteer for the dance so I didn't plan anything with the organizers,” And just like that your hopes were crushed, of course a 14 year old boy wouldn't know a thing about romance. He clearly didn't care about what dress you'll wear, or what the both of you would do before the event. You shook your head with a sigh, faking a smile and walking past him to your class. “Ohhh! I did vote for you for prom queen… you know? So we both can be like ‘famous’. You should vote for me, if that's what you mean.”

You felt disappointed, pretending not to hear him and walked into your first class. Great. He ruined your day and it just started.

-

Your parents were excited when you told them about Paul asking you. Of course, they've known him for years and his parents are in touch with yours. You were at the store trying to look for an ‘age appropriate’ dress. Your father is staying in the car, obviously fed up with the indecisive behaviors from you and your mom.

“Look, this is great!” You heard your mom cheer from the back of the store, she came up to you with a flower print dress and a bright smile on her face.

“Mom, it looks like I work on a farm.” You sighed, turning to the other side where there are dresses lined up.

“Are you serious? It looks amazing. I like it!” Yeah, you like it. You turned to look at it again, but the sadness in your mother's face caught you off guard. So you decided to lie. You grabbed the dress from her hand and turned it to see it ‘from every angle’.

“You know what? I think it's great. And it's not expensive like the other dresses here.” You faked a smile and looked at the cashier that was standing uncomfortably close to the both of you. You handed her the dress and both went to the checkout.

For you, making decisions isn't something you care about. Everytime you think of something, you'd agree with the others because at the end of the day ‘it's not that serious’. Sometimes, your friends end up scolding you for choosing people's happiness over yours. But when you turned to glance at your mother's happy smile, it was worth it.

-

Wed 19th of December 2012

The next week, Paul had thrown your prom ticket into your locker with no message or any indication. At least he bought you the ticket. Sam has gotten sick as well as the other two girls close to the both of you. She had sent you a message saying she probably won't be at prom, explaining in great details of her vomit and sickness.

You felt all alone and the class has never felt emptier. Fleur had a major knee injury from football practice, two guys were suspended for a fight. Students are calling this week a curse, considering that it's wednesday and prom will just be in a few days. The filled class now is almost half empty, making the class feel quiet.

“Okay…since most of the students are absent, we won't take a lesson today,” Cheers erupted from the class, happy to not have biology. “I'm not done! You will be partnered up to discuss prom preparations.”

The atmosphere changed from cheering to groaning in a second. You glanced at Paul, wondering if he would be your partner. You hoped that Paul would realize he has responsibilities for prom today when the both of you discuss it. But as the teacher started labeling the partners, you realized that it doesn't matter who is your date, she is randomly assigning them.

“Elisa and Marie you don't need to sit at the back anymore, the class is practically empty. Elisa, you sit with y/n. Katoto, sit with Adam.” You sighed frustratingly, why her? During the two months of school, she has been treating you like dirt. Ignoring you and always avoiding you. Whenever teachers put you in groups, she'd ask the teacher if she can be partnered with Fleur instead.

But she's been more open and relaxed now, and it's somehow freaking you out. She has made some friendships there and there with the other girls. She laughs louder, jokes more with her side of the class. And even if her ignorance towards you confused you at first, it wasn’t why you were freaked out. It's how she treats the girls in class. It's like the guys…but gentler? She stares at Amy the same way the guys do, with heart eyes. And all of this frustrates you, because why is she looking at Amy like that? She's not supposed to like Amy. And why is she treating every girl in the class sweetly except you?

Everytime you catch her looking at Amy, you remember that Quora comment. Admittedly, you've been thinking about it everyday for the past 2 months. When you’re near her, you stutter and avoid looking at her eyes. Because when Elisa looks at your eyes, she can read you. And although you know you're not necessarily hiding anything, you don't want Elisa to know how she affects you.

Elisa rolled her eyes in annoyance when the teacher told her to move to sit next to you. Of course it would be you. Your bubbly and nice personality makes her sick, because right when it comes to her, you become mute. It feels as though her sitting next to you makes you feel grossed out and disgusted. It doesn't help how Sam glances at the both of you everytime Elisa walks past you. It's like you have told her something about her, that elisa is some sick joke you told her about. Growing up, Elisa realized that not many people liked her. But she didn't care, until it was you.

You were kind and sweet to everyone. Whenever anyone asks for help, you're always there. Whenever you have to be surrounded by people you don't even like, you're still respectful and treat them well. But why is it when it comes to her, you ignore her? Every time she's near you, she sees your uncomfortable glance, she’s already used to it by now, but it still breaks her.

Homophobia isn’t something surprising, it’s everywhere. But again, the most non-judgemental person… you, she didn’t expect you to be just like everyone else.

She threw her bag next to your seat as she sighed. Of course she’s already groaning around you. You rolled your eyes at her dramatic reaction, pulling open your notes to write anything you need for the prom. You wrote ‘dress’ check, ‘hair’... you’ll just straighten it, ‘make up’ you’ll ask Sam to help you with it. You glanced at Elisa, a blush ran through your face when you saw the sketch of a woman on her notes. Does she have a date? Did she get asked… or did she ask a girl out? There is no way she’d go with a boy… just the idea of Elisa with a boy makes your stomach churn, and you don’t know why it would feel better if she would be with a girl, a person like you.

“Um… so, do you have a date?” You stammered, trying to act casual about the question, as if it hasn’t been on your mind all month.

She looked away from her sketch to glance at you, “no.”

“Why not?”

Elisa was silent for a moment, “Fleur tore her ACL so she won’t come with me.”

Fleur? Why Fleur? Your kind smile slowly turned to a frown, fuck I know I said it would make me feel better if she would ask a girl out but Fleur? Does she like her? No way.

Elisa noticed the way your smile turned into disgust. At first, panic started to get into her head, would you tell everyone that she wanted her date to be a girl? It’s okay, right? A lot of girls go with their friends? Fleur is her friend. But her panic turned into anger, fuck you and your disgusting beliefs. Of course you wouldn’t like the fact she’s into women, and although she never said she's gay out loud, anyone who glances at her knows about it.

“ACL injuries are really serious, tell her I wish her a speedy recovery.” You mumbled, you didn’t know why you’re acting this way, and why does it happen every time with Elisa. Elisa ignored what you said and continued to draw. You were looking at her sketch from the corner of your eyes, what else would she add? Big boobs? Blonde hair? Is her type in girls the same as the boys’? But suddenly Elisa stopped drawing for a second and took a deep breath, then she scribbled all over the drawing, ripping the page away from her notebook and standing angrily to throw it away in the bin.

When she sat back, she moved her seat slightly away from you. You lowered your head feeling shame, what did you do to deserve this from her? Your heart did the fluttering thing again around her, but now it’s because of the heartbreak of rejection. Elisa kept on tapping the pencil on the paper, writing nothing on her notebook. You glanced at Paul, realizing that he was partnered with Amy. Because of the panic of Elisa sitting next to you, you didn’t even think about Paul. Great, Paul is with the hottest girl in class and Elisa here hates your ass, you already knew Sam would be tired from the phone call this evening.

You glanced at the teacher quickly to make sure she's not looking at you. You grabbed your phone and opened the chats between you and Sam and sent her a message.

“Sam I'm sorry for the monster I'd be when we call today.”

Elisa noticed you using your phone, slightly surprised since you've always been the ‘good’ girl of the class. She saw you texting Sam, quickly diverting her eyes away from your phone. Are you texting Sam about the drawing? Is she seriously that grossed out by a silly drawing? Elisa's frustration has faded, now filled with sorrow. How can someone be filled with that much hatred? How can you sit here and act all cute and innocent to everyone but react this way over a drawing?

Right when the bell rang, Elisa grabbed her bag and left first, not even waiting for Katoto. You breathed out slowly, glad that she's not sitting next to you anymore. The rest of the school day was miserable, feeling all alone. At lunch, you sat on the ‘loner benches’, which are placed behind the school buildings near the football pitch. It's called that because nobody usually notices it, so it's always empty. For once, you were too tired to be friendly and socialize with people you can't stand.

When you were watching the football game, you noticed Elisa playing. Sighing, you got up and walked to the building, deciding to help out the nurse in easy tasks like bandages. She likes you, and had previously written notes to the teachers for you ‘to skip’ their classes. And after what happened in class with Elisa, you really didn't want to face her again.

When you reached the nurse office, you saw Ms. Eugene frantically running around her office to grab things into her giant bag. When she turned to look at you she gasped, “oh thank God! I was about to call the office to bring you,” She grasped your arm, pulling you to sit in her office. “My daughter… she's sick, they called right now. Can you please take over my place? You know we don't have other nurses, and I trust you. You're very smart, y/n. If anyone came here with something more serious than a cut, don't hesitate to call the ambulance.” She rambled, her face filled with stress as she grasped her keys.

“I can stay here, just let the office know so I don't get counted as absent,” You were getting more worried about her daughter the more you looked at her. Ms. Eugene is a single mom of a 3 year old girl, having to carry the responsibilities of both parents as one. She nodded at what you said, and pulled the door open. “I hope everything works out with baby Lee.”

She turned to look at you with grateful eyes, and left you alone. You were stressed about the new ‘job’ you got, but excitement started filling you when you looked around. The posters, the small medications, the tapes and bandages. You can now pretend to be a nurse! You pulled out your phone to text Sam about your new adventure, until a knock made you flinch.

You glanced at the door, yelling out a ‘come in’. When the door opened, you heard Elisa's pained voice, “Nurse Eugene?”

When Elisa glanced at you, she rolled her eyes and limped outside, making sure to shut the door as loud as possible. Usually, you would be hurt at this. But by the way Elisa was limping, you jumped up from the big chair and ran out to see what happened.

“Elisa, are you serious?!” You pulled the door open, finding her limping down the stairs. She looks up to see you and asks, “What are you even doing here? Where is the actual nurse?”

“She had a family emergency,” You followed her down the stairs, “Elisa you're limping! I'm just going to tape you and you will not see my face again.” Your voice cracked as you said the last part. Usually you're good at masking your feelings, but Elisa's pained face in front of you and the way she ran away from you broke you.

Elisa groaned loudly and took a step forward, holding onto the stairs’ railing and following you back into the nurse's office. When she got in the room, she limply sat on the bed. Glancing at the wall in front of her instead of you.

She had heard the neediness from your voice, and it made her heart throb quicker. Even when you clearly feel disgust around her, at least you were worried about her right? Did you do this because you cared about her? Or because you didn't want to get in trouble?

You brought disinfectant wipes, a cotton ball, pre wrap, and a tape. You placed them near her on the bed then turned to look at her to see what actually happened. Elisa lifted her foot up to show that the injury was there, and when you looked down you saw a trail of blood and a cut on her lower shin.

You pointed at the bed as your face scrunched in worry. Awkwardly, Elisa twisted her body towards you and layed down, resting her upper body on her arms behind her. You sat on the bed too, making sure the tapes were near you.

You grabbed the wipes packet, glancing at Elisa to make sure she knows it will be painful. But she was already looking at your face, so you panicked and just placed the wipe directly at the cut.

“Fuck!” She pulled her leg away and threw the wipe away. But you grabbed her foot and pulled it to your lap, using a different wipe and attempting to clean up the cut again. Elisa’s hiss was loud, and it involuntarily made your breath hitch and bite your lip for a second. You had to stop being inappropriate and dirty minded. It's disrespectful, so you tried to ignore it and continued cleaning up the wound. But when her defined and thick calf tensed up, you froze. Of course she will have muscles… She plays football!

“Can you be quick? It's burning me.” Elisa's frustrated groan pulled you out of the daydreams, so you quickly placed your right hand on a piece of cotton there and awkwardly tried to place the pre-wrap over it with your left hand. Elisa saw you struggle so she placed her fingers on yours over the cotton pad.

You quickly removed your fingers from her warm hand, and started wrapping her shin tightly with the pre-wrap. It was easier now to be completely focused on the injury in front of you instead of Elisa’s gaze or warm hand, it was your dream to major in a medical field and you didn’t want to harm Elisa or tape it wrong.

All Elisa was doing while you were taping her shin is look at your face. She was intrigued on how you knew how to do this. For her, she plays football and it’s mandatory for all of the players to know how to tape and deal with certain injuries. But for you, she wasn’t sure on how you knew how to do this… or how you’re good at so many things, you were just perfect in everything in her eyes.

She shook her head at her thoughts and looked at your hands instead, watching you bring the sticky white tape and securing her shin just like the physio at her academy. When you were done, you softly tapped her foot, indicating that she can lift it now. She removes her foot from your thighs and twists her body to sit on the bed instead, forcedly turning her head to look at you with a thankful smile, “you taped it well, thank you.”

You shrugged and looked down at both your feet, dangling them around as you bit your lip in embarrassment, “Thank you, I’ve always wanted to do this in the future so…”

“Be a school nurse?” Elisa asked.

“No, just anything with the medical field.” You replied. Elisa didn’t realize how close you were both sitting next to each other until she accidentally nudged your foot when she started moving her feet like you. She stood up, making sure not to put her weight on her foot, and walked to the door.

“Good luck with that, you’re smart and I think you’ll be able to do it.” You looked up to see her at the door, heart slightly warming at what she said. You smiled gratefully at her and nodded, before mumbling a short, “good luck with football.”

Elisa giggled with a shrug at your comment, and closed the door behind her delicately this time. You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding and hid your face in your hands. Why was it comforting to you that she thinks your hard work will actually get you to your dream major? Did she lie to make you feel better?...Elisa hates lying, you have noticed that because everytime she doesn’t like anything she’d stay quiet…not lie.

But the door was opened shortly, Elisa appearing again with a flustered smile, “I forgot to ask you for a nurse pass.”

You raised your face from your hands and nodded in her direction, standing up from the bed to the desk and writing a note. When you reached ‘time:’ on the notes, you turned to look at Elisa, “Hey Elisa… Do you want to go to class now or walk around the school? I can lie about the time and basically give you free time.”

She looked away from a random poster and turned to look at you with a bright smile, the ones kids do when they get offered candy. “Will you actually do that for me?”

You giggled at her reaction with a nod, she skipped happily and sat on the bed again. She turned to look at you with a grateful smile and pulled out her phone from her pocket, “thank you, I can’t stand the PE teacher or any of the students.”

You hummed in agreement as you sat there awkwardly. Elisa continued scrolling through her screen, while you were just looking at her. “If the teacher asks you why it took you so long you should say that you were dizzy and almost passed out because it is mandatory for nurses to keep students in their office for a minimum of 20 minutes.”

She looks away from her phone to look at you for a second before returning her eyes back, “yeah thanks.”

You didn’t like how she wasn’t really talking to you, even when you knew she didn't like you at all. For a second, it felt like all the tension that was there in the morning had oozed away, but you soon realized that you had to accept that the discomfort Elisa felt toward you will always be the same. As you thought of a topic to talk with her, there was a knock on the door.

You glanced back at elisa to signal for her to hide her phone, before calling out a ‘come in’.

When the door opened, you saw Elisa visibly grimace and you realized that it's Paul the moment he said your name, “y/n! Or should I say Nurse y/n?”

You turned awkwardly to Elisa with a confused look. Nobody knew you were there other than the office, how did he know? Your minutes of peace were frustratingly disturbed now that other students know. Elisa shrugged to show you she didn't know how he knew, but she didn't want to admit that she did text Katoto about you helping her skip.

“Hey Paul, do you need a bandage?” You fake smiled at him. After the whole prom planning that happened, you really didn't want to be around him.

“What? No, I'm just here so you can write me a note to skip class.” He laughed as he sat at the seat near you, grabbing a note from the desk and giving it to you so you could write him one.

“I'm not allowed to do that Paul, you know that.” You looked at him disappointedly and returned the pack of excused notes back to where they were. Paul groaned in frustration. He glanced at Elisa on the bed and pointed at her, “what about her?”

“Elisa is dizzy and has to stay here for a while.”

“Y/n do you seriously believe that! C'mon, I'm your prom date! She fell and bled a little, that's all. I was there. Look! She can stand and walk normally with it taped.” He cried out, pointing at Elisa's taped shin.

“Calm down weirdo,” Elisa calmly said. She didn't like the way he was yelling at you, and she was slightly worried if you couldn't think of an excuse to tell him about how she was dizzy so she tried to waste time.

In fact, Elisa didn't know why you were doing this in the first place. Taping her shin is understandable, but helping her skip class? Memories of first period hit her, and now she doesn't understand you.

Paul turned to look at Elisa after what she said, “weirdo? Did you just call me that?”

“Paul, stop acting childish!” You groaned. “Elisa got dizzy…when girls are in their…you know what, they can feel dizzy. Especially when they lose even more blood.” You mumbled to him as you pointed at her shin. It may not be the smartest excuse, but Paul doesn't know a single thing about women's bodies and you know he's going to feel weird and awkward when anyone mentions ‘periods’.

Paul looked down in embarrassment after what you said, turning to look back at you. “Um…sorry I forgot you guys get that, I'll just leave.” He talked under his breath, before opening the door and leaving you both alone.

Both of you and Elisa exhaled in sync, before turning to each other with a soft smile.

Elisa looked away from you to the door, “he's a dick.”

You sighed as you relaxed into the seat, “Yeah I don't know what else to do with him,”

You looked at your painted nails, avoiding Elisa's glance. You wanted to speak about this with someone, but you didn't like to put your problems into someone even if it was your best friend. “He didn't even…bother to ask me out properly like the movies.”

Elisa noticed the deep frown on your face. She never expected a day where the both of you are sitting down and talking about boys, but it felt slightly better to know that you're opening up now especially after the two months of ignoring and distancing yourself from her. Maybe you weren't as mean as she made you seem in her head, and she liked this vulnerable side of you. “Well… he's a guy, what did you expect from him?”

You let out a scoff, “it just feels like no guy is good enough. We always put the effort in everything, he couldn't even care about what dress I'll wear or flowers or anything.”

Elisa wanted to make a gay joke, but she still didn't trust you enough to joke that way. And considering the way you behaved around her drawing just a few hours ago, she didn't think it would be a good idea. “You're too pretty and smart for him anyways.”

You looked up to glance at her, but she was looking at her taped up shin. Did she mean it? A deep blush ran through your face, and you let out a soft giggle at the thought of her thinking you deserve better than the most handsome guy of your class.

“Yeah? Like who?” You questioned. Maybe Elisa knows someone she can set you up with for the next prom, or maybe she can help you find the love you always yearned for but the boys are too immature and inappropriate…Or maybe she'd say she's the one for you.

Elisa glimpsed at you and stayed quiet with no response for a few seconds. She shrugged, “none of the guys here for sure. Maybe somewhere else.”

Elisa didn't like the attention you just gave her. You turned a compliment into a questionnaire she can't answer. But who is there to blame but herself, she's the one who said you deserve someone better. Elisa loved the small giggle that came out of you. No matter how much she hated your behavior towards her, she always liked making girls realize guys are trash.

You crossed your hands in front of you as you rested your head on them, looking up to Elisa from your seat. She was deep in thought, and you started wondering if she'd ever date a girl in your school. Would she give her flowers every week? Would she receive flowers?... She's still a girl no matter how different she dresses, and she still deserves them. Would she be a physical person like the students that do PDA? Or would she pretend she doesn't know her girlfriend to not gain attention?

Elisa noticed you staring at her weird, the same glance she'd see Katoto has when she looks at Adam. Her ears turned pink and she pulled out her phone to complain to Marie about the ‘Voldemort guy’ interrupting what could've been your first ever sane conversation.

You were probably thinking about Paul, right? Maybe your ‘dream’ man since the both of you were talking about it.

You realized your thoughts were drifting too much, so you closed your eyes tightly and hoped sleep would come and take you somewhere away from Elisa. You shouldn't be thinking about her that way. And you also shouldn't assume her sexuality, like what that Quora response said…even after what she said about guys.

Elisa had noticed you sleeping, so she concluded that your dreamy stare at her was probably sleepiness making you tired. She sat there and scrolled on her Facebook and Instagram.

When she realized that it had been over an hour of her time in the office, she knew she couldn't use that excuse anymore and needed to focus on the other classes. She stood up and approached you, whispering your name.

When she didn't see you react, she knew she had to touch you. But she didn't know how, childishly afraid of tapping your arm. Your fringe had been covering your face, so Elisa lightly moved them away and placed them behind your ears, hoping you wouldn't feel her touch. Elisa always had short hair and she never wanted to grow it out, but she still loved the feeling of hair in her fingers. Fleur gets frustrated whenever Elisa plays with her hair, and Katoto has braids so Elisa was ‘not allowed’ to touch her hair no matter what (she tried one day and Marie yelled at her).

Your eyes scrunched at the feeling of soft fingers on your forehead, and when you opened your eyes you saw Elisa's horrified eyes. You sat up looking confused, worrying about why she looked like she had seen a ghost. “umm… sorry for touching your hair I tried to wake you up but you didn't wake up from my voice.” Elisa rambled quickly, stepping away from you towards the door.

“Wait,” you groaned out, “You're leaving me?”

Elisa smiled at your confused face, slowly speaking so you could understand, “I spent too much time here already, I can't miss more classes.”

She almost laughed at the way your face contorted, something deep in her is warming up and now her whole body is burning. She knows she needs to leave this room before her thoughts start spiraling, so she gave you a small wave and left the office.

Maybe it was the sleepiness talking, but for once, you finally knew that Elisa is a sweet person… and your heart break from the morning today came back, when you realized that what happened today was only a one time thing.

___

~ yes, the next chapter will be prom

~ fun fact, there are some countries in Europe that do prom nowadays. Maybe not back in the 2010s but this is fanfiction so xx

~ did you guys notice something about Paul's looks? yeah y/n has a type ;)

[traffic-light-eyes]

Ninja as influencers

My previous post got me thinking, and now I have to write this down.

Kai:

He for sure has Twitter/Chirp and uses it regularly. Very popular. He also has the ninjago equivalent to Instagram and is also very popular there, too. I could imagine him having a yt channel and doing silly vlogs and the occasional game, but that's about it. The other ninja were a bit weirded out by the vlogs at first because they didn't really want to feed into the whole idolizing the ninja thing, but realized that they could show the world that they're just. People. Normal people who save the world sometimes but are normally just passed out on the couch. They all love being in his vlogs now. When he records something embarrassing, he makes absolutely certain that the person it's of is okay with it being posted. Like, he gives them weeks to think about it. He has a video of Zane singing let it go (due to Jay's programming skills), and he was ecstatic to be able to post it. He's also a tiktok star. He does the silly dances and lip-syncing.

Nya:

She has Chirp but doesn't use it for social media purposes? If that makes sense. Like, she mainly only scrolls through her friends' chirps and responds to those. She gets into the groove and made a really sweet and chill community once the people that were only there for the "inside scoop" of the water ninja's life left. Now there's just her friends and a bunch of nice people. She comments on and rechirps? a lot of fanart, though. She has an Instagram but only to comment on Kai's posts with a thumbs down. She has a tiktok. It's secret. She posts little edits about her artwork or mechanics. It's fairly popular. She sometimes uses the filters and makes videos using them but never posts them.

Cole:

Similar to Nya, he has a Chirp account but doesn't really use it much. He'll respond to fanart and fans, but he only really posts occasionally. His posts normally consist of song recommendations or riffs of his friends. He threads callouts when he feels especially petty. It's pretty chill. He probably has a secret second account for art. He doesn't want people to like his art just because he's the earth ninja, so he made a second account. He has a tumblr too. I don't make the rules. He tries to stay in the loop with everyone's thoughts and shuts down the gross people. He's pretty well-known on the site. He likes reblogging the ship content and misdirecting people because it's funny. Pixal found him drawing techno and he scrambled for an excuse but she silently put a finger to her lip, winked, and left. He was very confused. She was absolutely dying on the inside from laughter because she knew of his account but wanted to freak him out. He couldn't look her in the eye for a week because he thought she thought he shipped them or something. She purposefully spoke to him often. He kept trying to explain, but Pixal always had an excuse to leave or change the subject before he could say it.

Lloyd:

He has Chirp. He has tumblr. He has ao3. He's not allowed on Instagram. He has a yt channel where he exclusively talks about comics and games. On his Chirp, he is completely unhinged some times, and other times, he posts cute animals he finds on missions or on patrol. He found a stray cat once and named her mittens because a follower commented it. He has #mittensmonday, where he posts a picture of her. It's always trending on Monday. His tumblr is once again about games and stuff, but he has a semi-secret side blog for Ninja Shenanigans where it's theorized that it's him, but no one has proof and he doesnt give a direct answer. He has unknowingly reblogged and messaged Cole on multiple occasions because he doesn't know about the Secret account. Cole doesn't know what to do. His ao3 account is mostly to check up on what people are thinking. If he sees something unsavory, he immediately logs off because that's him. Avid tiktok enjoyer. He could make a video of just him staring at the screen, and it would go viral. He finds it hilarious. It's his goal to find the most obscure thing to post and for it to finally not get viral.

Zane:

He has Chirp, but he hasn't used it. Either that or he uses it so terribly incorrectly. I could be convinced that he has a cooking yt channel. He'd call it something nerdy or informational, but people kept chirping about it calling him cookingmama, and he doesn't get it? But due to Jay's persistence, he changed his @ to cookingmama.

Jay:

He has Chirp. He uses it to keep up with the world + just talk to fans. He has a gaming channel and a Twitch account. He streams at least once a week. He loves it! He has a pretty chill community, and he often asks his friends to play with him. He makes sure that the games he play with them are suited to them first. He doesn't ask. He just knows. He picks action-based games for Kai - maybe LoL or, like, Left 4 dead. He plays silly smart games with Nya, like Portal or Keep talking and nobody explodes (they are ridiculously good at this). He and Cole would play scary games. They exclusively play them at night; phasmaphobia has caused many of the ninja to awaken to a shriek. Comfy and typically non-violent games are his and Lloyd's go-to. They'll play Minecraft or stardew for HOURS before they realize the sun is coming up. He and Zane play semi-stressful cooking games, or Zane is just there for commentating. They'll be seen playing overcooked or cooking simulator (they always play that one with a challenge somehow). He makes silly follower goals, and he has unfortunately had to do many, many things because his followers keep rising.

Honorary Ninja, Pixal:

She has an account for every platform that the ninja have just to crowd control + to support them in their comments. She rarely, if ever, posts anything aside from commenting on her friends' posts. Hc that Borg owns every platform, so she uses that to weed out the weirdos by asking him to make the platform very buggy on their device specifically. It's only a matter of time before they delete the app, and she loves watching the downfall via their posts and complaints about the website. She knows of everyone's account, even the Secret ones. She never lets them know that she knows of them, even if they do something strange because of it (check Cole's). She loves messing with them. If someone posts something recently, she conveniently talks about it the same day and gives them whiplash because what are the chances that she said that today. She's the go-to gal if there are any tech issues on stream or during editing.

Here ya go! Hope you enjoy my brainrot <3

[lemotmo]

Something has clearly happened 👀. But also I am living for that particular mustache theory.

Q. Why are his own people suddenly upset with him?

Q. Two questions, have you seen the mustache and what are your thoughts? And why are some of Lou's fans mad at him all of a sudden?

Q. Wait, why are some of them turning on Lou, what did I miss??

Q. People are sending him messages through his Instagram and Twitter accounts asking him for some kind of sign to prove he's on set. A thumbs up or down. A smiley or frowny face anything to confirm he's there or will be there and he's ignoring all of them. People are losing their patience with the silent treatment.

A. My ask box is a stream of mustache questions and people asking why Lou's fans are getting mad at him. It's been a nice change of pace. I'm going to start with the fun mustache question. Haha, I don't mind it. It's a good way to physically show that Eddie is clearly going through a season of change. It makes sense to give him some sort of physical marker to follow his journey through. Some of the theories have been super fun to read but I'm going with it being a physical acknowledgement of Eddie searching for his true identity. A mustache works very well for that in a symbolic way (especially within gay/queer culture and history). I don't post asks that include Eddie/Ryan or Buck/Oliver hate but I have several messages from certain people upset that they gave Eddie a mustache specifically for what it represents in the gay/queer community so I think most of us had the same initial reaction to seeing the video.

As for the Lou discourse currently going on his own fandom I have no idea what that's about. I included that bottom ask because I would assume it's pretty close to the reason some of them are becoming angry. Look if Tim or ABC told him he can no longer talk about it he can't respond to them, and that's just the truth. Emojis would still be a form of talking about it so they would still count as breaking the rule, if he was instructed to no longer talk about things. If he pops up in someone's BTS video they will have their proof. Otherwise no one will now until the show releases promos or we see him in some other way. I do think though that some of them are just genuinely starting to see the reality and they're upset. With him not around to feed into their narrative the reality becomes harder and harder to ignore. And he is absolutely the only person they can be upset with because no one else was feeding into their frenzy. It's also hard to keep shouting about something that no one else, including the two actors involved, is talking about. I still think he will pop up on set at some point in the next week or so but again we won't know unless he or someone else posts something. But they're definitely not keeping his appearance a surprise. That is most definitely not what's happening. He will be around for at least a few scenes this season but it's nothing the show is going to shroud in secrecy. Because once again he's not the point of the storyline he's involved in.

Thank you Nonny for dropping this in my inbox. Much appreciated!

Ah, the moustache... it's incredible how one single appearance of Ryan with a moustache can garner such an implosion of the fandom. People are either for or against the moustache. Some find it hot and sexy, while others... don't. LOLOL! I find the whole thing funny. This is the most fun I've had in fandom in months now, so you won't hear me complaining about the moustache too much. It took some time to get used to, but after staring at that video enough, I'm okay with it now.

The fact is that Ali's right. This moustache is a sign of transformation for Eddie and since it's such an important symbol for gay/queer men, I'm fine with this new addition to Ryan's face. :)

But also, keep in mind that it could have just been an inside joke between the cast as well and Ryan's moustache could already be gone the next time we see him in some bts. All is possible.

As for Lou? I also fully expect to see him pop up one of the next weeks to film his scenes for season 8. I'm not going to lie, I would prefer to never see him again on 911, but I'm also realistic and I think he's still needed to tie up some loose ends in Buck's bi storyline. After that is done I don't think we'll see him again. Well, I hope so anyway.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[brettesims]

On Humanitarianism

I don’t know if there is anything more painful as an advocate or humanitarian than to be silenced, but the mass silencing of advocacy is happening around the world. When you speak out “they”; the powers that be can threaten your work, freeze your social media platforms, delete your whole page, remove your followers - on and on. Since the U.S. Government has ownership over all platforms now pretty much (except this one) - including TikTok; which was said to be Chinese owned and run, but that’s another Government lie. If you’re targeted; that happens across all platforms. This happened to me and it’s been exhausting.

Then there are family or “friends” who have no concept of the world at large or anything that is actually happening with the Zionist regime essentially taking over the world; the “free world” or “new world order” as they call it. Ignorant people add to the silencing, shunning, and canalization of you, because externally it appears as if you are losing social media “clout”.

Advocates and humanitarians are highly educated and functional people; we have to be. So when we can’t use social tools as we aim to use them, it’s a problem. I ran my business from just my Instagram account for years. But with instagrams Zionist takeover and ownership my accounts are shadow banned and heavily monitored.

For awhile I was like, “fuck this, let me just not use it, let me pull away.” But then I realized the platform hiding humanitarians, spiritualists, and artists accounts is just a psyop and mental tactic of dehumanization. Abiding by it - even if there are no “likes” on the posts, would only be complying to the system I advocate against.

A humanitarian without a voice or platform is like an artist without a space to create or art supplies. So, after a year of being more silent than I’ve ever been on social media due a racist, fascist and bigoted regime, that most civilians don’t know they are subconsciously under the influence of… I have decided to activate my voice once again.

I’ve decided to leave the fear behind and a huge reason; maybe the only reason for this new found courage has come from me watching the resiliency, faith and steadfastness of Palestinians standing up to Zionists.

I thought to myself; Palestinians are out here risking their lives daily, under threat of having social platforms taken away, Zionists not only tapping their phones, but also calling them and threatening to have bombs literally dropped their heads. If they can risk all this in a war zone, I can take the risk, be resilient and remain steadfast as well.

Today also marks the one year point of the war in Sudan. Most people know very little about what’s going on in Sudan, because they cut the internet. They have been dark for 2 months now, but it’s sporadic.

I first began learning about Sudan and advocating against genocide in college. I will no longer be silent about it, because while joy and lightness can absolutely be found in war times; we are living in a genocidal world and that’s just the reality.

So I write this; really for myself, but also to alert you dear community that the time is in fact NOW. Actively BE the change you want to see, or you will SEE change you do not wish to actively manifest.

Move forward with faith and grace; using your voice for the freedom of generations that follow. Remain steadfast community!

~ B

[iamnotawomanimagod]

Ngl I've been a halsey fan since before badlands and I really never cared much about fan interaction online, but halseys manager of both their makeup brands posted a link to a fundraiser for Isreal, which has since been deleted since halseys Instagram statement. I understand they got a brand to run now but it truly felt gross watching about faces insta go silent for a few days after her statement just to then post a 25 dollar zine and more about face stuff, while never acknowledging their manager. I get that they got swatted and all that but like.... normies get swatted and have illnesses and small children and they can't just hire more security or move into a new mansion. Like I get rich people have problems too but they also have money, and that's something not a lot of us get the privilege of having.

I hear you. I agree that that's gross.

I didn't hear about this specific incident though, so I need to clarify - was this fundraiser posted on any account associated directly with Halsey? Or was the fundraiser posted to a personal account controlled by an employee of Halsey's?

If the fundraiser was posted to an AF account, then yes, obviously that's not okay and Halsey should make a statement, and should make it very clear that her brands do not support Israel.

But if the fundraiser was posted to a personal account by an employee of Halsey's... look, I don't support Israel on any level, but it's also not appropriate for any employer to try to dictate what their employees can and cannot post about. A thorough inventory into someone's political beliefs when the only thing they're meant to do is sell your makeup brand is not exactly appropriate either, not even for someone as outspoken as Halsey is about politics.

I tried to look this up since I completely missed it, so I'll have to take your word for it. I have to assume that the fundraiser was posted to the About-Face and AF94 accounts, because I don't think there's anything Halsey can or should have done about an employee's personal social media posts (other than cut ties after the fact.)

If that's the case, and the fundraiser was posted to any account directly connected with Halsey, then I agree that it's very disappointing and Halsey should have made a direct statement about it. I can definitely see why that upset people, and it should have.

With all that being said, even taking my disappointment around that into account - Halsey is human. Yes, they do have access to resources and money and options that most of us will never have. Yes, there are people out there with fewer resources, going through worse, that are doing more work. That's always true, for everyone. But I think it's okay to give people grace, and recognize when they're going through a particularly hard time, especially when they've been working pretty much non-stop for ten years.

Everyone can always do more, celebrities especially. But Halsey's relative silence now does not erase or undo any of the impact or work they've done in the past, and will likely do in the future.

And one thing about them having money is that they've likely been able to donate significantly more cash to that cause than you or I have. On a purely utilitarian level, she's done more than we ever will be able to. And she should! But like, let's be real about actual impact versus performative social media posts.

People can't be 100% on it 100% of the time, even with tons of cash and support and staff. I think H does pretty okay. I am not bothered by people keeping her in check, but I think there's a line.

And fwiw, my original post was less so about Halsey's political activity and more so about like, parasocial codependent fans who are sad she doesn't post as much anymore, lol. People saying shit like "Halsey has been different ever since ______" and are including things that predate the most current situation in Palestine. I have much bigger issue with the people just whining about how little content there was this year than I do people with legitimate concerns about her politics.

[louisisalarrie]

People are saying Louis has a grace period where he can’t do/say anything - meaning contracts I guess - but he is saying something. He’s saying he’s not with Harry. Surely if he was under any kind of NDA he wouldn’t be able to comment at all??

I’m not an anti. I would love the boys to be together. I’m just suspicious of Louis’ random out bursts where he does seem p*ssed off at Larry. I mean if he really loves him, wouldn’t he just say nothing? If I were Harry, I think i’d be a bit insulted if my boyfriend continued to make public denials (and referred to it as childish conspiracies) whilst I kept quiet.

Also, is Louis annoyed at Larry in terms of being linked to Harry OR is it more related to the insinuation that Freddie isn’t his and he’s not really denying ever being with Harry?

I know this is a contentious topic but I wanted to ask. No judgement either way from me!

Heya anon! I’m gonna break this down a bit.

Louis’ online presence has been very yikes since the first Bullshit tweet. You could see the moment his Twitter started being controlled in one direction, with how different his content became, interacting with the boys (Harry) slowed right down, and his typing style and tone changed. Social media accounts, particular for influential people with a large following, are ran by PR folks on their team. It means the artist can have a more hands off approach, and doesn’t have to worry about posting marketing content at certain deadlines etc., and it’s the easiest reach to get news spread fast. Now, in terms of how much control an artist has over their accounts, differs depending on their contract with their team.

One Direction were the biggest of the big. And when you have 5 teenage boys with huge accounts, it’s pretty safe to say they didn’t want one of them accidentally posting something incriminating towards themselves, the band, or their team, so, they would’ve had very little freedom on their social media when they hit the big point of their career a bit down the track. However, control is not entirely taken over, as the artist still needs to look authentic. They need to connect with fans, get them engaged, and tweet them back. Then, they get trending on Twitter and that’s a win for them, obviously.

So this kind of social media handover is specified in their initial contract, with subcontracts specifying exactly what and how the PR team and the artist will use it. The artist might need to personally post at least 3 times a week across platforms, for example: one tweet replying to a fan, one promo tweet for their music, and one Instagram post/story that ties into whatever the narrative/promo is at that moment, and the contract might be more lax during the months where there isn’t anything to be marketed. Other than that, the team will take care of everything else. That’s their job after all, to market the artist!

So, what’s the best way to dispel rumours about a conspiracy theory when the people in question struggle to talk about the theory on camera? A tweet, of course! It goes straight out to the fans, spreads like wildfire, gets their name trending, and screenshots go straight to the media. The artist doesn’t wanna deal with the inevitable backlash and chaos that ensues after a tweet like that, so, the PR folks say “let’s try and get them to stop talking about larry, by talking about larry…” which makes 0 sense right? If larry isn’t real, they could just leave it alone. Hell, larry aren’t the only pairing in the world, and plenty of other people who have had theories about them like this have just… never commented. Even when they had a big fanbase of people like larries, who believe that they are in a stunt relationship/have been hiding a relationship with another famous person, they’ve just left it alone.

If you have a watch of the Four Hangout interview, where they are all asked if there are any rumours they’d like to deny, Louis and Harry are dead silent. That was the time to do it.

So I think maybe your question leaves out the contracts and closeting of larry, as you’ve said Harry would be pissed that his man has kept denying their relationship to the public (it has been far and few between, though). I would be too, but he’s not doing it on his own accord. the boys, and many other artists in the industry, have been victims of closeting/het pushes. Even just basic PR stunt relationships, that straight people have, are for marketing purposes. There are narratives in place so these artists keep their name in the media, keep looking attainable to a fanbase with young woman fawning over them, and keep selling records/movies whatever it might be. I won’t go deep into Louis and Harry’s stunt relationships and narratives, but it’s very obvious they’ve been victim to them.

So, two birds one stone, right? Deny a relationship that your fanbase has a theory on, on Twitter so there’s proof and it reaches those fanbases fast, while encouraging the stunt narrative the public sees of you, ticking the boxes above. It’s a quick Band-Aid for now, because the longer they don’t say anything, the easier it is for people to assume they’re together. So a little tweet here and there helps. And, unfortunately, Louis has always been the one in the firing line of denials.

Even in the early days of Larry, back in 1d, I think Harry only did one denial on his own, with niall and Liam. H+L did a couple together, and then @Louis_Tomlinson took the reins. Every larry denial on camera was hilarious, poorly responded to, and was laughed at by the fandom. It didn’t jolt us whatsoever, but when you can’t see the person behind the tweet, it is meant to cause a bit more doubt for us. Did he post this on his own accord? Was it PR? It’s not as easy as looking at their body language and seeing them stutter in a video, and that was the point of moving the denials off camera.

These “ask me anything” tweeting sprees that happen, are for the sole purpose of pushing narratives. Louis ticks off a couple of things on his list each time he does one, which are: talk about F, get rid of larry rumours by talking about larry rumours (it’s an absolute joke, the way they do that hahaha), and promo some new music. He also replies to fans about football and other stuff, but that’s because he always has to keep it as authentic as possible. And he does like talking to us, he just has a couple of obligations during this.

In terms of F and bbg, I believe that’s a stunt so I don’t think Louis is mad about people not believing it, so I can’t comment on that, unfortunately!

Now, NDAs. This term is thrown around A LOT in this fandom, and the actual way one works can get lost in translation through misinformation and overuse of contractual language that confuses folks who don’t have a deeper knowledge of entertainment law and the entertainment industry. NDAs are not a one page contract that states a couple of things that you can’t do, and you just scribble a signature. They are big documents that are overlooked by several lawyers and adjusted/assessed/edited over a long period of time, depending on the importance of why someone needs to sign one. There are already basic drafts for fans/crew who see something they shouldn’t see etc., but they are edited to be specific as possible to that situation, so there are no blurred lines. There are no mistakes. No loopholes. Everyone around the boys has signed one, which I’ve discussed a little bit about before.

When it comes to keeping a relationship under wraps from the public, both parties need to sign a separate copy, often times of the exact same document. But, NDAs are different to other PR and marketing contractual Agreements. NDAs say “hey, don’t talk about this thing or any other of these things! It can’t be leaked! If you do, there will be huge consequences and you’ve broken the contract and we will take all your money and sue you and you’ll never have a career again!”, while marketing and PR Agreements are “hey, so people are talking about you being in a secret relationship, and you’ve signed an NDA so you can’t say you are in one, so we’re gonna give you a fake relationship to help keep things quieter and hopefully dispel the beliefs (which will make it easier for you to not say anything if people leave the topic alone!!) and we can get some good marketing in and grow the band yada yada yada”. Which, they thought would work, but we’re still here haha. So the two can be mutually exclusive for artists like Harry and Louis, but their team will obviously just sign an NDA.

So, my advice is, don’t take everything at face value. Louis wouldn’t want to lose any fans, regardless of what they believe in. And same with Harry. They just have different narratives to appeal to different demographics.

[the-dance-of-italy]

hey- it's the same anon who sent that long ask about the chosen lol. the boycott the chosen account does not have their asks on so i'm like.. hoping they see this

i don't personally know about contacting the cast members. i personally think we would gain much more traction on instagram because a majority of the fanbase is active there & they post there very frequently and primarily. all the posts they posted supporting israel were on instagram. i thought once the cause gets enough traction it might pressure the actors involved that i named, i hadn't thought about contacting them directly and i don't really know if that'll work, thoughts on that??

i did mention shaan sharma particularly because he's on sag-aftra board of directors and i haven't seen anyone else talk about how sag-aftra is supporting israel too. since he's involved there we could get a lot more attention directing attention to how sag aftra's pro-israel. and like, mention shaan sharma on the list of people remaining silent, and how he's in the chosen too

the thing is, it's my personal opinion that it might actually be worth switching to insta entirely? i said before in the other ask that i was just going to make my own account but i don't have the time or energy to fully run it; i also don't really know how i'd do it. the tumblr fandom for the chosen is very minimal, and stuff that happens on tumblr tends to be really contained. i don't know how many people there are on twitter though. like i strongly recommend that we shift our focus to insta, make like actual posts with the chosen's tags because the insta algorithm is pretty good with showing tagged stuff like that. remember the pride flag controversy? almost all of that was within instagram and it was enough to get that video response out of multiple cast members

also, i could make some infographics if needed/requested. i do realize anyone could theoretically because it's not too hard to design but right now im offering to make infographics for instagram or possibly twitter (i don't know how it works there haha)

i just personally think right now that it's unlikely for that entire cast & crew, every single person, to support israel wholeheartedly alongside dallas jenkins. (especially luke dimyan; he's vocal about arab and yeah, he could support israel too, but still) if there's enough conversation & backlash on the internet, it could be enough to motivate/provoke some of them to speak up. it's also optimal timing tbh because season 4's released in theatres next month, this is the first time they're making money off their episodes, and if enough people cancel tickets it might do something. although im honestly pessimistic that we'll gain enough traction in time for that or that enough people would even care. but still its worth trying i think!!

man i realized this was long and i'm sorry haha, so basically tl;dr i could help with infographics if needed. and i think we should really prioritize spreading posts on instagram.

Seeing as things are going, i too agree that containing ourselves to just tumblr and twitter is limiting us. It may be too late to prevent Season 4, but there's still time for the future seasons, and the less support they have for the last seasons the better.

I can work on the IG account myself ,im always on my phone anyway. Its still the second week and they havent given me any heavy assignments yet haha. If its not too much trouble, i would accept if you (or anyone who see's and wants to do it) could make the infographics / or any other graphics for the account. I would, but my other laptop broke down and the one im usin doesn't have Adobe installed yet 😅.

[zeltqz]

I felt this needed to be sent as an ask. I know it's one of the hardest things to do (writing when your motivation is weighing) but you have to try your best NOT to listen to them (those who keep asking for updates with no consideration of what it's like for the author). Pressure ain't doing nothing but motivating negativity. I know the guilt, I've been there. At the end of the day I gave what I could and the fic ended up being discontinued a month ago. I permanently quit writing because I felt it was so overwhelming and stressful despite being something I absolutely love doing, I just couldn't take knowing people waited for my updates, I was disappointing them and that disappointed me. Talk about depression. Writers depression is very real. So eventually I unpublished my wattpad fics, deleted all my Tumblr fics, and stayed a silent reader, I wrote short poems or small works here and there for my private instagram, just whenever I felt like it. I honestly thought it was permanent. Until a friend of mine started writing which sparked my interest in it again. So I restarted my blog a couple days ago. Gave thought to what it was I wanna write and how I want this blog to be different. Atm I'm barely writing, I started 3 fics last week yet they remain in my drafts untouched with no further progress. But I can honestly say the nonchalance and freedom I have is quite nice, I try to write here and again. Or even if a single sentence or dialogue comes to mind I note it down, that gave life to another sentence and another and another until I put it together and it formed about a decent paragraph.. I'M RAMBLING. I lost track of what I was supposed to say. I don't even know the main point of this story. Forgive me. But seriously, the best advice I can give is to unburden yourself before you drown. Literally. Write what you want when you can, your wips, don't delete them!! I promise you some time later you'll definitely be inspired for them again. And when u do you'll be able to literally write more for it!! I have an idea from 2 yrs ago and it's pretty decent, with some editing it could be even better. So please don't delete them 😭😭 and don't let people push you to update. You can if you can and You can't if you can't!!! I'm here if you need any help 🙏🏻 I noticed that talking about your writing with someone who reciprocates your energy can ignite a full on passionate conversation that will lead to creating quality work!! Like new ideas or even roots to go for old works.. It's a good way to keep the motivation flowing when you're running thin 🤍🤍🤍

this is honestly the sweetest piece of advice soeone ever gave me. its so detailed and relatable too because i used to be a wattpad writer back in 2021 and then ppl kept on asking for update update update and it was so stressful so I just logged out of the account and to this day i havent logged back in 😭😭

as someone who used to be a silent reader i understand the frustration of needing an update. dont get me wrong i understand. i used to feel that exact way because fics were my only source of happiness at one point in my life when everything was shitty. but now im actually writing them, i know why some writers dont want to update so fast because its so much pressure when theres 5-6 ppl in ur inbox asking for update update update

ik how hard it is to finish a story but also how desperate it can get for the readers waiting for said update. which is the reason im constantly trying to keep writing but now i feel like i just cant. im such a perfectionist i dont post anything i dont feel is my best but rn i feel like none of my works are and its making me slack a lot and i feel like if i dont stop feeling this way then i might stop writing as a whole because its making me frustrated

writing genuinely makes me happy bc i feel like its an escape from reality (which i desperately need bc i hate my life) but i cant write good enough which is making me annoyed because i need that reality escape sooooo bad

and the reason i asked yesterday which fics of mine were peoples favourites, most of them were the series that i had deleted from my page because i reread them and hated it so bad. now im rewriting it but with this lack of motivation its one of the hardest things ive had to do in a while

and i barely talk to ppl about my fics because idk i barely recieve comments about them except for PT 2 PLS. like as much as i would LOVE to write part 2 3 4 5 6 7 etc its not motivating enough since i dont have anyone motivating me to write.

ugh this is a lot i dont except anyone to read this but THANKS FOR THE ASK <3

[askadrianalucardtepes]

[OOC] Announcement!

Hello everyone! As you can see, this blog has been incredibly inactive. Aside from the very rare occasional post, it's been mostly silent here much to my dismay. I wish to change that and bring this blog back to life again. Ever since starting up @askvladdraculatepes I've noticed that the format of answering asks I use there has given me so much more freedom to reply fast and stay on top of my asks; rather than let them waste away in my inbox for months on end whilst I feel guilty for letting people wait so long. As much as I love making the comics, they are very time-consuming and draining to do, and it's impossible to work on them in a regularly-scheduled way due to my life being pretty busy. So, I've made a decision, to preserve my own sanity and bring this account back to life like I've wanted to do for a long while now. From now on, I will answer any asks I receive on tumblr with the same format as I use on Dracula's ask account; a portrait with a relevant expression and a written response in text. This includes asks that are now in my backlog, waiting to be answered. I'll be digging through them retroactively and will make sure to answer as many of them as I can. I do this because simply put, there are just too many asks waiting for me to make comics out of still and you all have been waiting long enough for replies. Asks that are asked on instagram however, I will still try to make comics out of. Just because I'm changing the main format does not mean I'm abandoning comics altogether! And instagram does not allow for me to use the format I'll be using here to answer asks. I will also be posting the occasional non-ask related Alucard piece or comic that I've worked on. All the art I post I make myself, I just think it'd be fun to spice things up with some variation. I'm sure this has to be disappointing for those of you who expected me to make drawn comics of their asks. And trust me, I really wish I could. But I now have a backlog of 30+ asks waiting to be drawn, with no time or energy to do it which leads to this account silently wasting away. And that really saddens me. I want to keep this account alive and keep the fun going! So for my own sake, I have to change things here. I hope you all understand and forgive me for doing this, and will stick around for the new ask format! I really, really look forward to engaging more actively and directly with you guys. Love you all, very much! - Adrian/Valentine

[leashade]

about nostalgia and the old internet

During one of my nostalgia episodes I decided to check on jabber.ru and stuff.

Way back in the day (early 2000s) ICQ was a pretty popular messanger in Russia and other post-USSR countries. And ICQ was using the same protocol as AOL IM (and ICQ was owned by AOL at the time too).

But nobody here used the official ICQ client as it sucked way too much. People used unofficial mobile client Jimm mobile instead. And also used a piece of software called QIP -- a multi protocol messanging app.

At some point other protocols (MRIM aka Mail.ru Instant Messaging and XMPP/Jabber) started gaining popularity. At some point I found out about XMPP and its clients. QIP became an XMPP app at some point, even forcing users to create a "QIP account", providing people with their own XMPP instance.

And on mobile I used Bombus (a very popular J2ME XMPP client) and then BombusMod. XMPP also supported "transports", basically providing "portals" into other protocols and adding "special" gateway contacts to your contacts list. So from your perspective as a user you were just using Jabber as usual, but had all your ICQ, MRIM and Skype contacts all in one place (this is exactly what I did).

But that wasn't all. I also used to join all sorts of group chats (or "conferences" in XMPP terms, usually about Linux, tech and programming), as well as some IRC channels (connecting them as "conferences" via transport in my Jabber account). And this was how I found a lot of people I'm still in touch with today.

There was also a hot new thing I found out about back in 2009 -- Juick.com. It was basically a "twitter for nerds", where all interactions happened via a special Jabber bot, using special commands. If you didn't use any commands and just wrote anything to this bot, it became a new blog post.

While it was trying to be a "twitter clone", characters limit was 2048 bytes. So people went wild here, telling all sorts of stories about politics, life and even writing a sort of roleplay sci-fi story.

Eventually some complicated events led to downfall of Juick in ~2011, and then the tech moved on. Jabber/XMPP and ICQ silently died, being replaced by social networks and their messaging apps. People started using Facebook, VK, Instagram, Twitter and later on Telegram for messaging, group chats, communities and blogs. And in this new world most of these old communities and technologies kinda died. Well, not DIED, but were basically forgotten by the majority of people.

...

Nowadays most of these apps and projects don't even have a functioning website. Many of the projects didn't survive the paradigm shift and the start of the smartphone era. OSCAR and XMPP protocols became kind of relics of the past, old and hard to support, without many modern features (seemingly).

ICQ was eventually bought by Mail.ru, who then merged with VK. Later down the road ICQ was "reborn", but it didn't have anything that the original had, and turned into a yet another messanging app. MRIM was forgotten. Jabber was a niche thing to begin with, though it's still used in corporate networks AFAIK.

Nowadays it's really hard to find any decent Jabber client apps even. There's a BombusMod build for Android, and it's the best you can find, even though it wasn't really made for touchscreens. Everything else is either made for corporate networks or has terrible UX/UI.

There's also Miranda NG for Windows. And also Pidgin and Telepathy for Linux. All three support all modern protocols and standarts, even support Telegram! And even Psi+ still exists, even though it's a jabbber only app. But still -- they exist!

But it's kinda wild to think about. All this jabber-juick-icq nonsense was the center of my world throughout my teenage years. Everyone around me -- young and old -- used ICQ, advanced users used Jabber. I was using Juick and was active and many conference chats until about 2012-2013.

And now there is nothing left from any of it.

Sites of the projects turned to nothing. The actual apps are not supported for many years now. And even the standards were seemingly forgotten. People kind of went different ways since then, and the world has changed. The only thing left from all this old "world" is the memories in the minds of people who were there.

I found my old Juick blog, and my last post here had a timestamp starting with "1 decade ago". And when I was active on Juick, it lasted for AT LEAST five years.

Funny how the time flies and how things that mattered the most to you yesterday don't mean jack shit today. In the end, nobody will remember any of it, and everything will turn to dust, leaving nothing behind.

...it's such a russian thing it seems -- starting a 2 hours long lecture to convey a single thought

[halfmoondaze]

Daydream Nation

Recently you and Jack had gone public with your relationship and currently, you had joined him on tour.

Normally, you would watch his performance from the V.I.P. are but this time around, you wanted to see him from the side of the stage.

You were having so much fun, up until you arrived at the hotel room. Jack was currently taking a shower while you were lying in bed scrolling through Twitter.

Most of the time tweets would revolve around Jack but this time the topic of conversation of the moment was you, and it wasn’t pretty.

It seemed like everyone was having a blast making fun of you. You kept scrolling through short videos that consisted of a compilation of you standing on the side of the stage fidgeting and daydreaming.

You couldn’t help having ADHD, but at this moment, you felt beyond embarrassed and stupid. You just wanted to disappear.

As you kept repeating the videos in your head over and over again, you started to feel claustrophobic as if the walls from the hotel room were closing on you. You couldn’t take it anymore and storm out of the hotel room.

-

Jack was about to step out of the shower when he heard the slam on the door. He quickly wrapped a towel around him and walked outside.

“Y/N?”

She was nowhere to be found, he thought to himself that she probably was taking a walk or something, which was still not like her because she would have let him know beforehand. But then he noticed her phone laying across the bed and that’s when he started to panic.

As he opened her phone, he realized she was using Twitter and when the videos popped up, he put all the pieces together.

“Fuck”

His mind was racing as he kept thinking of how you must be feeling right now but also the thought that you could be anywhere out there on your own scared him to death.

He immediately called Urban and Neelam to help him look after you. They even came up with a plan to get divided and look for you close to the area.

But as you guys went outside, where she was sitting on a bench in the entrance.

“Oh Thank God” Neelam quietly exclaimed.

Even though Jack was angry that you scared him like that, all that anger vanished as soon as he approached her and noticed she was silently crying and it felt like his heart broke in a million pieces.

As she noticed his presence she turned around. That’s when he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her and comforted her as she cried in his arms. He was so relieved she was safe, but he had enough of this media circus.

Everyone had gone back to their rooms, and he managed to calm Y/N down. She was currently fast asleep in his arms.

He was lying awake thinking about how this took a turn for the worse as fast as it did. Is like a few hours ago she was having the best time enjoying herself at his concert and later she was destroyed inside.

He managed to get out of bed without disrupting her sleep and sat across from the bed on a nearby bench.

He went on Instagram and published a picture of Y/N taken by Urban at one of his shows. The caption read:

To the ones who thought it would be funny to make fun of someone for having ADHD and post it all over Twitter, FUCK YOU. Don’t come to my concerts and don’t buy my music. You know who you are, and I don’t claim you as my fans.

Once he hit the “share” button, he closed his phone and went to bed.

The next he was woken up by Y/N running her hands through his curls.

“Good morning”

He opened his eyes and saw a bright smile on her face.

“Good morning bubs, someone is in a good mood”

“How could I not be when I have the best boyfriend ever. Thanks for standing up to me”

“Always”

The post was one of the most liked posts on his account currently, and everyone was talking about it. Fans and even celebrities were sharing the post and sharing their support for you. Later media outlets made light of the situation calling out so-called fans for making fun of someone for having ADHD. The support you were having not only from Jack but everyone else was so overwhelming you completely got over what happened yesterday.

[moonlightperseus]

a prompt for the jestest jestie: buck posts a picture of eddie somewhere online (insta maybe) and it becomes a meme

this got away from me big time and im gonna be honest it doesnt even fully fit the request but i hope you like it

buddie | 1845 words | read on ao3

Eddie has never been especially tech savvy—and that did not exclude social media. He has an instagram account that his niece helped him make before he left Texas so he could keep up with her journey as a photographer—which, in his—only a little bit biased—opinion, she was gonna be famous for someday.

He also tried facebook to keep up with other relatives and friends from Texas—but as it turned out most his friends from Texas were also Shannon’s friends—which made things complicated—and the rest were a little too eager to call her a bitch for leaving him and Chris—which, despite Eddie’s own complicated feelings, sat with him about as well as getting shot. As for his relatives—well, the important ones he could always call.

The point is, Eddie’s never been one for social media, and then he gets a job as the LAFD’s liaison at dispatch and suddenly twitter becomes a staple of his life from 9-5, Mondays through Fridays.

And somehow—somehow—that leads Eddie here, sitting at his desk, staring at a tiktok he knows his best friend made—and he’s pretty sure it’s about him.

(Logically, he knows exactly how it happened—people on twitter will occasionally send him links to tiktoks about fire safety, asking about the accuracy of the content—and this is what he’s technically being paid for now, he supposes—and then a link leads him to a video that was unmistakably taken at the 118’s firehouse, and the voice behind it—without even a sliver of doubt—belonging to Buck. And then Eddie had clicked on the account it belonged to—and here he is.)

Here he is, staring at the last video posted on the account—well over a year ago—it’s not really a video, just a shot of a ceiling with block of text and some song Eddie vaguely recognizes from the radio playing over it.

The first thought he had upon seeing the video, was that he recognizes the shot of the ceiling as the bit just above Buck’s bed in the loft. The second thought he had—and still has—is that Buck is talking about him.

‘Guys please stop asking me for updates on my best friend- it’s never gonna happen. He’s straight, and has a girlfriend now, and I’m happy for him- he deserves to be happy.’

The comments are turned off, but that doesn’t matter, because Eddie’s already gone through Buck’s other tiktoks. He’s already found the video posted a few months before the last, another shot of the ceiling above Buck’s bed with text over it, there’s no music playing this time, and Eddie swears he can hear—what he thinks is—his own soft snores. The date on the video lines up with when Eddie was quarantining at Buck’s—when he had been sleeping in Buck’s bed.

‘When I pictured finally getting to share a bed with my best friend I didn’t expect it to be because of a global pandemic 😒’

So yeah, he’s almost positive it’s about him, and he has no idea what to do about it.

———

He’s not sure if he’s grateful or not to have to go to therapy after work, because on one hand, it keeps him from having to go home, to Buck—who’s been crashing on his couch ever since he and Taylor broke up, wanting to give her space to find a new place, it’s been over a month since that and Buck’s made no move to return to his loft, Taylor texted him a week ago telling him she had found a place and moved out—Buck hadn’t made any move to go back to his loft—and Eddie hasn’t asked.

“I think Buck might be in love with me.”

Frank raises an eyebrow and Eddie silently curses himself—and then Frank and therapy for making him so goddamn open about his feelings.

“What makes you think this?” Frank asks, his expression impassive as he links his fingers together, notepad left sitting in his lap.

Eddie wonders if it’s telling that Frank doesn’t have to ask who Buck is—wonders just how much he brings up Buck in conversation—and at what point it undoubtedly crossed the line of ‘normal amount to bring up your best friend in therapy.’

“Uh, I found his tiktok?” It sounds so stupid when he says it out loud—it sounds stupid when he thinks about it too—because really, what had he found? Two vague tiktoks—okay yeah, maybe they were about him—but that doesn’t mean that Buck is—or was—in love with him. Just that Buck had thought about sharing a bed with him—just that ‘it’s never gonna happen’ and that Buck thinks Eddie’s straight—and to be fair, until very recently, Eddie had also thought he was straight.

Until very recently, when he started thinking about Buck.

Eddie looks up—Frank is watching him, waiting patiently for Eddie to continue.

“Maybe—maybe not in love with me—but…something—I think he felt something—” he drags a hand through his hair, “I think—I think I want him to still feel something—for me.”

Frank nods slowly, “do you love him?”

“Jesus, Frank,” Eddie says, ignoring the way his heartbeat has sped up in his chest, “you really don’t beat around the bush.”

“I find that being direct seems to work best for you.”

Eddie stares at Frank, who’s expression remains impassive and patient.

“Of course I love him, he’s my best friend.”

Frank waits—Eddie thinks absently that if Buck and Frank ever teamed up against him, they would out stubborn him in seconds.

Eddie sighs, leaning back in his chair and staring up at the ceiling of Frank’s office, “if I was—in love with him—what do I—what would I do about it?”

“That’s a question only you can answer, Eddie. But if you’re asking me if it’s wrong—if you’re allowed to be in love with him—I ask you to think about all the people in your life, and of the people they love—and extending yourself the same love and acceptance that you give them.”

———

Eddie stops to pickup takeout on his way home from therapy—it’s another delay to going home, but he also really didn’t want to cook dinner tonight.

When he finally gets home, Buck is waiting for him on the couch, reading through a national geographic magazine that he had gotten Chris a subscription to for Christmas.

Buck looks up the second Eddie shuts the front door and smiles at him, “hey, everything go okay today?”

Eddie shrugs, “traffic was a pain—I got takeout.”

“I don’t mind cooking—”

“I know you don’t, but—” Eddie holds up the takeout bags—“I got dumplings from that Chinese place you and Chris love so much.”

Buck raises an eyebrow, “the place over on sixth?”

Eddie nods, attempting to toe off his boots.

“Did you get—”

“—the dipping sauce? Yeah—though I’m still not convinced it’s anything but soy sauce.”

“It’s not just soy sauce,” Buck insists, getting up from the couch and crossing the room to take the bags from him, “they put something special in it—a secret ingredient that makes it taste better than just soy sauce.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, but Buck’s already turned to take the food to the table.

“Chris is in his room,” Buck says over his shoulder, “he finished all his homework, so I told him he could play video games until you got home.”

It’s such a simple statement, but it makes Eddie’s heart beat a little faster in his chest—this is what he wants, he realizes—coming home to Buck, raising Christopher together—being a family together. And he already has it—for the most part he has it—and maybe he doesn’t have to settle for only mostly having it.

“So, uh, I’ve discovered tiktok.” Eddie says as he moves to join Buck in setting the table.

Buck raises an eyebrow, “Tiktok? I know you don’t love having a desk job—but are you really that bored?”

Eddie finds himself rolling his eyes again, though the fond smile growing across his face probably negates it, “I found it through work, actually—people have been sending links to fare safety tiktoks and asking if they’re any good.”

Buck snorts, “and are they?”

“There have been a few good ones,” Eddie says slowly, debating his words as he stares down at the empty glass in his hands, “found a really good one today, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Buck asks—completely unaware as he continues searching through the cabinets for Christopher’s favorite cup—because Chris currently has a favorite cup—and Buck knows that.

“The guy was really knowledgable about fire safety, though honestly I was a bit more interested in his other tiktoks—” Eddie sets down the glass so he doesn’t risk breaking it with his shaking hands—“I think—I think he might be in love with his best friend.”

There’s a pause and Eddie can see the exact moment Buck realizes what Eddie’s talking about, because his entire body freezes—his head still halfway in one of the cabinets.

“I think—” Eddie’s heart pounds in his chest as he continues, a voice in the back of his head telling him now or never—“I think he should give the best friend a chance—because maybe he was just a little slow in realizing he feels the same way.”

Buck turns around so quick his head thunks into the cabinet door—Eddie winces on his behalf but if it hurt Buck doesn’t show it.

“You what?” His voice is barely above a whisper, and he’s staring at Eddie like his life depends on it.

“I love you,” Eddie says, the words not so much as spilling from his tongue—instead they dance across it—delicate but purposeful.

“Eddie—”

“I’m in love with you,” Eddie clarifies—because he can see the almost-panicked hope in Buck’s eyes—and the thinly veiled doubt.

Buck stares at him, and Eddie’s heart pounds in his chest as the seconds rick by—each one feeling like a lifetime—Eddie tries not to let the panic rise in his chest as Buck just stands there, because what if he was wrong—what if—

“Eddie—” Buck repeats, voice unbearably soft—and then he’s there right in front of Eddie, blue eyes searching brown for just a moment and then—

Kissing Buck feels like coming home to him a million times all at once—and Eddie vaguely wonders if this is what the movies mean by true love’s kiss.

“You’re right,” Buck says against his lips, pulling back just enough to speak, “that guy on tiktok is definitely in love with his best friend.”

“Oh yeah?” Eddie tries to squint quizzically at him, but he’s pretty sure the smile burning bright across his face betrays that, “how can you be so sure? I haven’t even showed you the—”

He’s interrupted by Buck’s lips crashing back into his—and Eddie’s pretty sure he will never be mad about being interrupted by Buck ever again if it feels like this.

“I love you,” Buck says when they finally have to break for air, “Eddie—I love you so much—I—” he pauses, eyes widening slightly and then he’s laughing—“I can’t believe this is happening because you found my stupid tiktoks—”

Eddie manages to somehow smile even harder, “hey, I’ll have you know those tiktoks were very informational.”

[vomitgreensocks]

SHARING MY THOUGHTS ON SOMEONE:

This is no hate at all, this is what you call sharing an opinion.

Hey!! Let me explain what this post is about. This post will be about an girl with the username "strangerthingslatingirl" on instagram. She is basically just an account that shares her thoughts on Stranger Things on instagram but she also told me that she likes to her other people their thoughts too so don't call me obsessed or toxic for making an whole post. I am just sharing my thoughts and showing why i disagree with alot of things that she said. Don't see this as hate.

Let's start with these two posts that "strangerthingslatingirl" posted on instagram and let's focus on the caption.

The caption said: "People say that it has never been confirmed that Mike is straight just because he has never said especifically "I don't like boys"

They defend that Robin did especifically say "I don't like boys".

As we can see, people don't take obvious interpretation like a truth, they want to hear specific words from the characters. So, based on that logic, why do you talk about Will like he is 100 % gay considering he has never especifically said from his own mouth "I don't like girls"?.

Based on your logic, Will could be bisexual or even straight with no problem, but sure, you won't accept that. And I know people is gonna say that Mike already confirmed Will's sexuality when he said "it's not my fault you don't like girls" But, people, do you realize that Mike was the one who said it, NOT WILL. Will himself didn't confirm or deny it, he just stayed silent. Plus, when Mike said that line, I'm pretty sure he was referring that Will was still childish, nothing to do with his sexuality. So Will has never confirmed anything either, we all only assume he's gay because that's why we interpret (In S4 it's obvious he's gay, I know, but when it comes to Mike his straight orientation it's not obvious, you don't accept obvious interpretation with Mike, you need specific confimation)

See? You only ask for specific confimation when it suits you."

In my opinion, this caption makes 0 sense. Mike has never been confirmed straight which is an fact. The only proof mileven shippers have of Mike being straight is that he is dating an girl (El). We byler shippers will only believe that Mike was confirmed straight if it was confirmed in the show OR BY ACTORS/NETFLIX/THE DUFFER BROTHERS. Mike's sexuality has never been confirmed. Not by Noah, not by Finn, not by Netflix, not by The Duffer Brothers and not in the show, meanwhile Will has been confirmed gay many times. I find it a bit weird how you are using Will as an example because Noah literally said "it is now 100% clear he is gay and he does love Mike". WILL'S SEXUALITY WAS FULLY CONFIRMED, HE IS GAY, meanwhile Mike's sexuality was confirmed by no one. Not by the actors, not in the show..by no one.

It's also not obvious Mike is straight?? Him dating an girl doesn't confirm anything and it doesn't make it obvious that he is straight. Before i am going to continue talking, i wanna show a few other posts that "strangerthingslatingirl" has posted on her instagram account so i can also just share my thoughts on those posts.

These are also both posts "strangerthingslatingirl" has posted on her instagram account. The second picture says: "1.They would have to make Mike gay from overnight, because they have never hinted before that he could be bisexual or anything related to LGBTQ community."

That is the part i am going to focus on for now. Now i can say it about both posts. It isn't obvious Mike is straight and yes, Mike has been queercoded many times actually. I will not get too much into the hints since this isn't really an byler proof post or anything, but i'm just going to say which hints there are. The eyewitness hint, Mike's spotify playlist, In the closet at Rink-O-Mania, The Mike being jealous theory, An official Stranger Things Book saying Mike likes El/Will, Mike's internalized homophobia theory and so much more. If you want to see all those hints just go to @kaypeace21 's account, Go to uhbylerisreal's TikTok account, Read the 320+ byler proof master slides ect. Keep in mind that The Duffer Brothers love hinting at things with very small hints like small background details, the lyrics of songs in Stranger Things, parallels ect which was confirmed.

Doesn't matter if Mike being LGBTQ+ will be canon or not, It stays a fact that Mike has been queercoded because queercoded means that when it was hinted an character is LGBTQ+ and it is a fact there are actually many hints, if you like it or not. You probably just sadly didn't saw all the proof yet. 🤷‍♀️

Another thing that post says: "2.They would have to BREAK UP Mileven, and this is practically impossible, and I'm not saying this because I am a Mileven stan (I am actually), but I'm saying it because Mileven has been the main couple since S1 before Jopper, Lumax and Jancy even existed. Eleven is the main character of the show, so Mileven is obviously the main couple and their love only got stronger in every season. So breaking up Mileven would be really hard and it would take time."

Uhmm, alot of that is false actually. Mileven was only the main couple in Season 1, not in Season 2, Season 3 or Season 4. An main couple is an couple that is focused on the most, and in Season 2 there were almost no mileven scenes, It only focused on El finding out she can live without an boy, In almost every episode of Season 3 Mike and El were broken up and in Season 4 the california group only got a few scenes. The main couple was Lumax in season 4 while it once again showed El dealing with other stuff than boys and just because El is the main character doesn't mean Mileven is the main couple? that literally makes 0 sense?

Not to mention that Mileven's love is only getting more and more weak instead of stronger but mileven shippers will never ever realize this because all they focus on is mileven in the show and not all the proof. You should see the mileven monologue theories, the star-crossed lovers thing, the Mike giving El yellow flowers thing ect.

Lastly, i want to share my thoughts on this picture that was also part of one of "strangerthingslatingirl" 's posts on instagram. (Stan the wileven pictures tho lol /platonic).

The picture says: "Recently, I saw a post of someone saying that she is afraid that The Duffers will make Byler endgame even if it doesn't make sense just to please all the people who are putting pressure on them. But I'm here to clear your minds. Stranger Things is a Netflix show, is a serious show, so even tho everything is fictional the plot and the characters MUST make sense. So, if the show still had at least two more seasons then The Duffers maybe would have time to develop the plot and the characters to make Byler endgame. But considering that the show only has it's last season (like 10 more episodes for the whole show) and considering that ST has A LOT of characters to develop, it's practically impossible to have time to develop something like Byler."

First of all, if you actually watched some interviews you would know that The Duffer Brothers said that they don't write things for their fans, they write things that feel good to write in their opinion so if byler will happen it's not because The Duffer Brothers want to please all the byler shippers, it's because byler made sense all along which it does. If you see all the byler proof and put it all together like an puzzle you'll admit byler makes alot of sense actually. Byler is actually already building up by the way? Noah himself said that byler is building up ("byler is just at it's peak right now! they're building that up!") and byler has been hinted (two-sided) since Season 1, before Mike even met El. You know what it is called when they give us so much hints that a queer ship is happening and it was confirmed very small hints are important but then it doesn't happen? It's what you call queerbaiting which they wouldn't do in such an popular show since queerbaiting is an actual sad, serious and bad thing to do and the show already has 4 canon LGBTQ+ characters so.

They have enough time to make byler endgame because all they have to do is break up mileven and make byler canon because byler has been hinted since season 1 episode 1.

These are just my thoughts, there is no need to attack me. 🤷‍♀️

[idy-ll-ique]

His Lovely Girl.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x F!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Requested: nope

Warnings: insecurity

Summary: Sebastian spoils her all the time. What has she ever done for him? When someone leaves a rude comment under her Instagram post, she can't help but rethink her entire relationship with the handsome actor.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! We're back to Marvel lol, enjoy!

---

"I'll see you later, dove, have fun!" Y/N grinned when her boyfriend leaned over, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Bye, Seb, I'll miss you," she whispered and he looked down at her, his heart swelling in his chest, full of appreciation for her. He loved her so much. "I'll miss you too, Y/N, but I'll only be gone for around 6 hours." Y/N pouted and he couldn't help it.

He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss. "I know. Go now, I don't want to be the reason you're late." He laughed heartily when she pushed him away with a smile. "Oh, doll, everyone knows about us, they'll know anyway." With that, he waved at her and left the apartment they shared. Y/N had moved in with him 2 years into dating.

Sebastian Stan; let's just say, he was a busy man. Y/N sighed and got up from the bed, feeling hungry. They had started dating 4 years ago, and what years those were; the most blissful ones in both their lives. They loved each other to death, and they knew that. Y/N waddled into the kitchen and looked around the various cabinets, finding a box of Mac and Cheese.

It was a funny story, actually, how they met. Y/N, at the time, was working as a barista at Starbucks. One day, Sebastian had walked into the Starbucks where she worked, and she was the one who took his order. He was extremely polite, funny and a bit awkward and just like that, she fell in love with him all over again. Y/N was a Marvel geek and Sebastian had noticed.

"I really like your hoodie, doll, where'd you get it?" he had asked her after telling her his order. And she had looked down, seeing the custom-made hoodie she wore. It was black in colour, but one of the sleeves was silver and had a red star on the bicep, just like his arm from the movie Captain America: Winter Soldier.

Bucky's trigger words were printed on the front of the hoodie. She had blushed furiously, simultaneously cursing and thanking her fate and coincidence. "I had it custom made," she had told him at the time and he had grinned so wide he thought his mouth would tear open. That was the moment where he, too, realized that he was getting a crush on the pretty barista.

And he hadn't hesitated to ask her for her number. He had taken a tissue paper, scribbled his number down and had written what's yours? ;) underneath. When he went to pay for his coffee, he purposely made sure that he wasn't giving her any change. With his notes, he slid her the tissue and she took it, giving him a confused look.

When she read it, her breath hitched. While pulling out his change, she had discreetly written her number down on the tissue, saved his on her phone and had given the tissue back to him with the coins. Both of them had grinned widely at each other when he left. While walking home, he had taken out the tissue and had seen her number written neatly under his. And his heart raced, Y/N is worth it.

---

*@yn_yln posted a photo*

4,583 likes

yn_yln Mac and Cheese, anyone? :D

Y/N smiled and logged out of her Instagram account after posting the photo. She just couldn't resist; she looked good that day, one of those days where she felt confident enough to post a picture. She kept her phone away and sauntered into the sitting room to watch something on the television. An hour passed before she yawned, feeling tired.

2:05 pm, her watch displayed. Well, there's no harm in an afternoon nap, am I right? Sebastian wasn't home anyway, and it's not like she had anything to do. Grabbing her phone off the dining table, she walked into hers and Sebastian's shared bedroom, plopping down on the bed. She decided to check her Instagram before falling asleep and opened the said app.

She went through the page that displayed all the likes and comments, pausing at one comment. Her heart dropped as she clicked on the comment, her entire being filling with an uneasy feeling. You're only dating him for the money, admit it. Until then, she had never even thought… about that. Throwing her phone to the side she sat up, breathing heavily.

Y/N was currently jobless. After they started going out, she continued working at Starbucks until last year; Sebastian had suggested that she leave the job and work somewhere better, earn a higher salary. Y/N had discarded the idea at first, since the job paid enough for her to go about her daily things and where would she even find another job?

Starbucks was okay. But Sebastian wouldn't hear it. So she left the job, now jobless. She had applied to a few places but hadn't received any news as of yet. They're right. I'm living off of him. I don't even have a job. What does it look like? A broke woman dating a rich, handsome guy? Oh my God, am I leeching off his hard work? All those thoughts rushed through her head in a span of a few seconds.

The more she thought about it, the more she teared up. Blinking the tears away, she lay back down and curled up under the comfortable blankets. His blankets. She closed her eyes, trying her hardest to fall asleep but the tears were proving it to be difficult. Fortunately, she drifted off into an uneasy slumber 15 minutes later.

---

"Baby, I'm home!"

Silence. Sebastian frowned, carefully walking into the house. "Y/N?" he called out but there was no answer. Keeping the bag he was holding away, he walked further into the apartment, stopping at the doorway of their bedroom. "Aw," he whispered under his breath, smiling, stepping into the bedroom. He gently sat next to his sleeping girlfriend.

His knuckles traced her cheeks but he froze. Why is she so cold? His soft touch was enough to wake her up, because she stirred and blinked up at him. "Seb, hi, welcome back." Her voice was hoarse. "Y/N? Did you fall sick?" he asked worriedly as she sat up, distancing herself from him. "I'm not sick," she muttered but Sebastian wouldn't buy it.

He reached out to cup her cheek, feeling like he had been stabbed multiple times when she leaned away from his touch. "Y/N?" She shook her head and looked out of the window, bringing her knees to her chest. "Just wanna be alone right now." She didn't want to send him away. She wanted to sit in his lap, listen to him rambling about his day…

But she also didn't want to be near him. Do I even deserve him? "What happened?" he insisted, his eyes going wide when she glared at him. "Go. Away." He scrambled off the bed without another word, softly closing the door behind him as he walked into the sitting room, running a hand through his hair. He sat down on the couch and looked around.

What happened in those 6 hours that he was away? Sebastian knew she wasn't on her cycle, it still had another week to come. So it wasn't mood swings. His eyes landed on the empty bowl of Mac and Cheese sitting on the dining table but they skimmed right past it, not knowing that that bowl was the reason for Y/N's sadness. Then he stared at the designer handbag on the opposite couch.

Picking up the bag, he strode back to their room, knocking on the door. Maybe seeing a pretty purse would lighten her mood? "What?" Y/N called out from inside and he opened the door, holding the purse up. "I brought you a gift." Y/N's heart started thudding in her chest and tears glistened in her eyes anew as she stared at the bag with utmost resentment.

"I don't want it."

Sebastian went rigid. She never rejects my gifts. "Y/N—" She started shaking her head. "No. Return it. I'm not taking it. I don't want it," she repeated, her glare now directed at him. "But doll…" he tried, freezing when her jaw clenched. "Get out." Disheartened, he walked out once more, more confused than anything. Now I have to know what happened.

Inside the room, Y/N sobbed silently. The bag was so pretty, her favorite color, the sleek design… she wanted to keep it so bad, but she knew she wasn't worthy of it. Sebastian brought her gifts all the time. Most of them expensive as shit; he had the money to blow off. What had she done for him? Nothing, really. He spoiled her heartily, never once allowing her to do the same.

"You're mine, baby girl, mine to love, mine to cherish, mine to spoil."

She was definitely leeching off him. Outside the room, Sebastian took out his phone and texted Y/F/N, who was Y/N's closest friend. They rarely spoke, but Y/N told Y/F/N everything and he knew she'd have answers.

hey, do you know what's up with y/n

why what happened

she's in a really bad mood

she's angry at me and I brought her a gift but she won't take it

she usually loves them but today…

OH WAIT

I know what happened

she texted me in the afternoon

something about a comment on Instagram or something

ig that's why she's in a bad mood

oh

thanks

I'll check it out

He ended the conversation and opened Instagram, seeing a new post from his dear girlfriend. Sebastian couldn't help but smile as he liked the photo, commenting a heart emoji. There were only around 22 comments on the post, so he decided to go through them. Which comment had triggered her? He found it instantly and his nostrils flared.

Replying to the fairly rude comment, he typed, how about you fuck off and mind your own damn business? If you don't like her, unfollow and leave. There's literally nothing else you need to do. After hitting send, he kept his phone away and, determination shining in his eyes, ran back to the bedroom.

He threw open the door and a sob escaped the lips of the startled woman. He started taking off the annoying clothes he was wearing until he was just in his boxers, sliding into the bed next to her. She attempted to push him away but the strong man didn't budge, holding her on his lap as she thrashed. Soon, she gave up the fight and melted against him, crying her eyes out.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again and again, her breath hitching. "Hush, baby, it's okay, I'm not mad," he whispered, rubbing her back, helping her calm down. She rested her head on his shoulder, her arms tight around him. "Tell me the truth. What happened?" he asked even though he knew the answer. Tiredly, Y/N narrated everything; from the comment to all her insecurities.

Sebastian gently cupped her cheeks, wiping her tears off. "Y/N, you're mine. I love taking care of you, I love spoiling you, and I don't do it because I expect something in return, I do it because I love you. Don't listen to strangers on the internet, what better work do they have? Nothing but lowlifes. You don't have to do anything for me. I don't want you to do anything for me."

"But Seb…"

"No. No, you're my girlfriend and only the best for my girl. I love all the gifts you get me. I cherish them wholeheartedly. Just you being my girl is a gift better than anything else in the world, to be honest. But I'm going to continue looking after you whether you like it or not. You don't even have to go to work, I'm here for you. I love you." Y/N teared up again.

They were happy tears.

"I love you so much," she cried weakly and Sebastian pulled her to him, cradling her head, breathing her in. "I love you too, doll. Now will you take my gift, please?" She nodded against him and he gently lowered her on the bed, going outside to get the bag. Once back in their room he handed the bag to her, smiling at the way her eager hands reached up to accept the gift.

As he watched her admiring the bag, he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, till death do them part.

His girl, his lovely girl.

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

[dimples-of-discontent]

Oh anons flooding my inbox to tell me that I’m a conspiracy theorist for thinking there’s more to this finale than meets the eye and/or that it’s totally the writers’ fault, you have no idea how much I do not care! I’m tagging anything related as “finale theories” and you should feel free to blacklist it using whatever method you so choose. I’m staying away, until the dust settles, from drawing any conclusions about what exactly happened to the script (either to make it what it was pre-covid or post-covid) or what cut scenes might have contained, or who was at fault for how it all turned out.

To the anons who think I’m reading too much into Jensen and Misha’s relative “silence” on the finale, I have some comments. With Misha it’s harder to tell, but I am completely convinced that Jensen is deliberately not engaging with finale-related content because he’s so alienated, angry, and disappointed. I think Misha is finding ways to talk about it that he thinks will support the fandom, rather than the network, and frankly he is far more used to having to deal with the feeling of being screwed by the network but still loving the fans. But Jensen really trusted them and they did him really dirty.

Leaving aside the fact that neither Jensen nor Misha was in the CW “thank you” video--which is LOUD AF of them--let’s look at the social media angle. We already know that Jensen wasn’t happy with the finale as it was written (which likely included Dean dying and, yes, that was probably his biggest beef, but I’ll bet he had some words about Misha’s character too) and talked to several people about it. He was then told to accept it and make his peace and he did that and did the best he could. Now, since November 5th we’ve heard very little from him and definitely not in the ways you would expect to hear from the star of a long-running show like SPN.

He’s been much more forthcoming about how proud he was of the scene he shot with Misha in “Despair.” Jensen and Misha both posted about 15x18 and Jensen happily talked about it on a livestream. It meant so much to him personally (as the last scene they’d film together, or as a momentous moment in the show, or as something else) that he had someone film it on his phone just for him and admitted breaking character. They talked it through beforehand a lot. They talked about it after a lot and texted each other fan reaction videos. They were glad to be able to do something that meant so much to us and that brought the story to this point.

Over on Twitter, Misha seems pretty much his same self, using the proper hashtag (which in the old days of Twitter he used to mock Jensen for not knowing how to do) and RTing nostalgic comments from Kripke, Jim Michaels, etc. His personal tweets just tagged Jensen and Jared. The set pics he shared were from 15x18. Jensen just gave Entertainment Weekly a RT for the finale. He’s pretty much full-time on Instagram, but that’s still pretty little engagement. He liked two tweets, both on 11/5 when 15x18 was airing, by Misha and Bobo Berens, but zero tweets related to the finale. (Jared tweeted during the finale a few times and then sent some comfort to the fans. FWIW he also didn’t RT or tag any network folks. I think he’s probably less happy than he seems, but he’s a company boy doing a new show with them so his hands are tied.)

Over on Instagram, on the day of the finale Misha was busy. He posted a pic of Maise “Spon on-set props assistant” in a trench coat robe. Jensen liked that. He also posted a video recapping and asking people to tune into the finale. Jensen did not like that. THEN he posted a pic of him and Jensen filming 15x18. Jensen liked that. Pic of Misha and the kids about to watch SPN? Jensen likes it. Pic of Misha crying during the finale and saying how much he’s going to miss Sam and Dean that actually tags Jensen? Jensen does not like it. The gist? Jensen “likes” all Misha’s posts from that day except the two related to the content of the finale (rather than watching it with West and Maison...and besides, soft boy Jensen isn’t going to not like a pic of West and Maison!).

And here’s Jensen’s account. On November 3rd, Jensen posts to thank TV Guide. On the 19th he posts to thank Entertainment Weekly. On the day of the finale, he posts a pic of Dean’s boots and a video of him getting dressed as Dean “for the last time - for now.” (I think that was a clumsy attempt not to spoil anything but I will also hold onto the idea that maybe he will do his own version of a sequel. The day after the finale he posts a slightly salty photo of the piece of rebar (aka “the rusty nail”) that killed Dean captioned “Excuse me....uh, ‘set dec’!!! Can we get this removed please?!?!” and uses the hashtag “spnfamilyforever.” That’s the hashtag for us--for the fans--rather than anything official. Those posts were both for us too, showing him loving Dean and loving being Dean and being just as pissed as us about his death. (For the record, Jared posted a pic of him watching the finale, also hashtagging the spnfamily, and Jensen liked it.)

All the people that he’s not thanking reads very loudly. Contrast to all the thanks he (and everyone else) were throwing like roses at the 300th episode party. Jensen is a generous guy. He’s professional, everyone likes him, and he likes to credit everyone for their accomplishments. For him to be this silent and not write a single caption thanking ANYONE aside from TV Guide and Entertainment Weekly (who he needs to keep on his good side for his own production company)? IS SO OUT OF CHARACTER!!! Every con, every interview, he talks about how they couldn’t do what they do without the help of all these other people along the way. To not have it in him to thank those people? He must be hurting so incredibly badly.

He cares about us so he’ll do what he can for the SPN family. But it won’t surprise me if the clusterfuck of an ending alienated him so much that we don’t get things we might otherwise (more panels, for example, or cons) because he is just done working with the people who hurt him. I’m glad he was smiling in that most recent livestream because he sure doesn’t seem happy right now.