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moonlightperseus · 3 years ago

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he wants you too (you just have to ask him) [5x18 spec | 464 words]

“May I have this dance?”

Eddie looks up in time to see Buck lifting Jee Yun into his arms, Maddie shaking her head fondly as Buck begins gently spinning him and his niece around.

Something swoops in Eddie’s chest as Jee begins giggling in Buck’s arms and Buck’s smiling so wide that surely his face must ache with it and it’s like Eddie’s heart is right there spinning with them.

“Pretty sure he’d say yes, if you asked him.”

Eddie thanks his years of military training for not startling straight out of his seat, Maddie—who had somehow made it across the yard without him noticing—stands beside him, arms cross and a relaxed—almost amused—smile spread across her face.

“I’m not—I don’t—”

Maddie raises an eyebrow, “You’ve been watching him all afternoon—but somehow I get the sense you don’t quite realize he’s been watching you back.”

Eddie blinks, heating rising in his face—he had caught glimpses of Buck’s eyes on him but he had trouble letting himself think it could possibly be for the same reason his eyes were on Buck.

“You should ask him to dance,” Maddie continues, looking over at her brother and daughter, “he’ll say yes.”

Eddie lets his own gaze wander back to Buck, “How can you be so sure?”

“Call it ‘sister’s intuition’—or, if you prefer—Chim calls it the ‘stupid big heart eyes’ you guys keep making at each other.”

Eddie’s face is definitely flushed, but he looks over at Maddie, feeling bold, “you should ask Chim to dance—he’ll say yes too, you know.”

Eddie doesn’t miss the way Maddie’s eyes wander to Chim, dancing with Karen while Hen laughs.

“You think so?”

“He’s got a bit of his own case of ‘stupid big heart eyes’ y’know.”

“Yeah,” Maddie says softly, and then she ducks her head, “I just don’t wanna mess things up again.”

Eddie places a comforting hand on her arm, “I can’t promise you that it’ll always be perfect, but you and Chim—you love each other—you shouldn’t let the fear of something happening stop you from being happy.”

Maddie’s silent for a moment, and then she meets his eyes, she gives him a watery smile, “those are pretty wise words, Diaz, have you considered listening to them yourself?”

Eddie’s eyes widen with realization and then he laughs softly, “yeah, maybe I should.”

“Ask him to dance,” Maddie repeats.

“Will you?” He can’t help but ask back, “ask Chim?”

Maddie glances over at Chim, who’s let Hen take over for him, “I think I will.”

Eddie looks over at Buck, he’s stopped spinning Jee and moved to rocking her gently in his arms, their eyes meet across the yard and he smiles so brightly at Eddie that Eddie feels like it could blind him.

“I think I will too.”

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moonlightperseus · 3 years ago

Note

a prompt for the jestest jestie: buck posts a picture of eddie somewhere online (insta maybe) and it becomes a meme

this got away from me big time and im gonna be honest it doesnt even fully fit the request but i hope you like it

buddie | 1845 words | read on ao3

Eddie has never been especially tech savvy—and that did not exclude social media. He has an instagram account that his niece helped him make before he left Texas so he could keep up with her journey as a photographer—which, in his—only a little bit biased—opinion, she was gonna be famous for someday.

He also tried facebook to keep up with other relatives and friends from Texas—but as it turned out most his friends from Texas were also Shannon’s friends—which made things complicated—and the rest were a little too eager to call her a bitch for leaving him and Chris—which, despite Eddie’s own complicated feelings, sat with him about as well as getting shot. As for his relatives—well, the important ones he could always call.

The point is, Eddie’s never been one for social media, and then he gets a job as the LAFD’s liaison at dispatch and suddenly twitter becomes a staple of his life from 9-5, Mondays through Fridays.

And somehow—somehow—that leads Eddie here, sitting at his desk, staring at a tiktok he knows his best friend made—and he’s pretty sure it’s about him.

(Logically, he knows exactly how it happened—people on twitter will occasionally send him links to tiktoks about fire safety, asking about the accuracy of the content—and this is what he’s technically being paid for now, he supposes—and then a link leads him to a video that was unmistakably taken at the 118’s firehouse, and the voice behind it—without even a sliver of doubt—belonging to Buck. And then Eddie had clicked on the account it belonged to—and here he is.)

Here he is, staring at the last video posted on the account—well over a year ago—it’s not really a video, just a shot of a ceiling with block of text and some song Eddie vaguely recognizes from the radio playing over it.

The first thought he had upon seeing the video, was that he recognizes the shot of the ceiling as the bit just above Buck’s bed in the loft. The second thought he had—and still has—is that Buck is talking about him.

‘Guys please stop asking me for updates on my best friend- it’s never gonna happen. He’s straight, and has a girlfriend now, and I’m happy for him- he deserves to be happy.’

The comments are turned off, but that doesn’t matter, because Eddie’s already gone through Buck’s other tiktoks. He’s already found the video posted a few months before the last, another shot of the ceiling above Buck’s bed with text over it, there’s no music playing this time, and Eddie swears he can hear—what he thinks is—his own soft snores. The date on the video lines up with when Eddie was quarantining at Buck’s—when he had been sleeping in Buck’s bed.

‘When I pictured finally getting to share a bed with my best friend I didn’t expect it to be because of a global pandemic 😒’

So yeah, he’s almost positive it’s about him, and he has no idea what to do about it.

———

He’s not sure if he’s grateful or not to have to go to therapy after work, because on one hand, it keeps him from having to go home, to Buck—who’s been crashing on his couch ever since he and Taylor broke up, wanting to give her space to find a new place, it’s been over a month since that and Buck’s made no move to return to his loft, Taylor texted him a week ago telling him she had found a place and moved out—Buck hadn’t made any move to go back to his loft—and Eddie hasn’t asked.

“I think Buck might be in love with me.”

Frank raises an eyebrow and Eddie silently curses himself—and then Frank and therapy for making him so goddamn open about his feelings.

“What makes you think this?” Frank asks, his expression impassive as he links his fingers together, notepad left sitting in his lap.

Eddie wonders if it’s telling that Frank doesn’t have to ask who Buck is—wonders just how much he brings up Buck in conversation—and at what point it undoubtedly crossed the line of ‘normal amount to bring up your best friend in therapy.’

“Uh, I found his tiktok?” It sounds so stupid when he says it out loud—it sounds stupid when he thinks about it too—because really, what had he found? Two vague tiktoks—okay yeah, maybe they were about him—but that doesn’t mean that Buck is—or was—in love with him. Just that Buck had thought about sharing a bed with him—just that ‘it’s never gonna happen’ and that Buck thinks Eddie’s straight—and to be fair, until very recently, Eddie had also thought he was straight.

Until very recently, when he started thinking about Buck.

Eddie looks up—Frank is watching him, waiting patiently for Eddie to continue.

“Maybe—maybe not in love with me—but…something—I think he felt something—” he drags a hand through his hair, “I think—I think I want him to still feel something—for me.”

Frank nods slowly, “do you love him?”

“Jesus, Frank,” Eddie says, ignoring the way his heartbeat has sped up in his chest, “you really don’t beat around the bush.”

“I find that being direct seems to work best for you.”

Eddie stares at Frank, who’s expression remains impassive and patient.

“Of course I love him, he’s my best friend.”

Frank waits—Eddie thinks absently that if Buck and Frank ever teamed up against him, they would out stubborn him in seconds.

Eddie sighs, leaning back in his chair and staring up at the ceiling of Frank’s office, “if I was—in love with him—what do I—what would I do about it?”

“That’s a question only you can answer, Eddie. But if you’re asking me if it’s wrong—if you’re allowed to be in love with him—I ask you to think about all the people in your life, and of the people they love—and extending yourself the same love and acceptance that you give them.”

———

Eddie stops to pickup takeout on his way home from therapy—it’s another delay to going home, but he also really didn’t want to cook dinner tonight.

When he finally gets home, Buck is waiting for him on the couch, reading through a national geographic magazine that he had gotten Chris a subscription to for Christmas.

Buck looks up the second Eddie shuts the front door and smiles at him, “hey, everything go okay today?”

Eddie shrugs, “traffic was a pain—I got takeout.”

“I don’t mind cooking—”

“I know you don’t, but—” Eddie holds up the takeout bags—“I got dumplings from that Chinese place you and Chris love so much.”

Buck raises an eyebrow, “the place over on sixth?”

Eddie nods, attempting to toe off his boots.

“Did you get—”

“—the dipping sauce? Yeah—though I’m still not convinced it’s anything but soy sauce.”

“It’s not just soy sauce,” Buck insists, getting up from the couch and crossing the room to take the bags from him, “they put something special in it—a secret ingredient that makes it taste better than just soy sauce.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, but Buck’s already turned to take the food to the table.

“Chris is in his room,” Buck says over his shoulder, “he finished all his homework, so I told him he could play video games until you got home.”

It’s such a simple statement, but it makes Eddie’s heart beat a little faster in his chest—this is what he wants, he realizes—coming home to Buck, raising Christopher together—being a family together. And he already has it—for the most part he has it—and maybe he doesn’t have to settle for only mostly having it.

“So, uh, I’ve discovered tiktok.” Eddie says as he moves to join Buck in setting the table.

Buck raises an eyebrow, “Tiktok? I know you don’t love having a desk job—but are you really that bored?”

Eddie finds himself rolling his eyes again, though the fond smile growing across his face probably negates it, “I found it through work, actually—people have been sending links to fare safety tiktoks and asking if they’re any good.”

Buck snorts, “and are they?”

“There have been a few good ones,” Eddie says slowly, debating his words as he stares down at the empty glass in his hands, “found a really good one today, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Buck asks—completely unaware as he continues searching through the cabinets for Christopher’s favorite cup—because Chris currently has a favorite cup—and Buck knows that.

“The guy was really knowledgable about fire safety, though honestly I was a bit more interested in his other tiktoks—” Eddie sets down the glass so he doesn’t risk breaking it with his shaking hands—“I think—I think he might be in love with his best friend.”

There’s a pause and Eddie can see the exact moment Buck realizes what Eddie’s talking about, because his entire body freezes—his head still halfway in one of the cabinets.

“I think—” Eddie’s heart pounds in his chest as he continues, a voice in the back of his head telling him now or never—“I think he should give the best friend a chance—because maybe he was just a little slow in realizing he feels the same way.”

Buck turns around so quick his head thunks into the cabinet door—Eddie winces on his behalf but if it hurt Buck doesn’t show it.

“You what?” His voice is barely above a whisper, and he’s staring at Eddie like his life depends on it.

“I love you,” Eddie says, the words not so much as spilling from his tongue—instead they dance across it—delicate but purposeful.

“Eddie—”

“I’m in love with you,” Eddie clarifies—because he can see the almost-panicked hope in Buck’s eyes—and the thinly veiled doubt.

Buck stares at him, and Eddie’s heart pounds in his chest as the seconds rick by—each one feeling like a lifetime—Eddie tries not to let the panic rise in his chest as Buck just stands there, because what if he was wrong—what if—

“Eddie—” Buck repeats, voice unbearably soft—and then he’s there right in front of Eddie, blue eyes searching brown for just a moment and then—

Kissing Buck feels like coming home to him a million times all at once—and Eddie vaguely wonders if this is what the movies mean by true love’s kiss.

“You’re right,” Buck says against his lips, pulling back just enough to speak, “that guy on tiktok is definitely in love with his best friend.”

“Oh yeah?” Eddie tries to squint quizzically at him, but he’s pretty sure the smile burning bright across his face betrays that, “how can you be so sure? I haven’t even showed you the—”

He’s interrupted by Buck’s lips crashing back into his—and Eddie’s pretty sure he will never be mad about being interrupted by Buck ever again if it feels like this.

“I love you,” Buck says when they finally have to break for air, “Eddie—I love you so much—I—” he pauses, eyes widening slightly and then he’s laughing—“I can’t believe this is happening because you found my stupid tiktoks—”

Eddie manages to somehow smile even harder, “hey, I’ll have you know those tiktoks were very informational.”

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