#I also learned a lot myself about birds and culture lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alethiosr · 5 months ago

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ah, it's not letting me ask as my side blog, but this is Asphodel-Flowers.

so the start of my work in this life with my fylgja or fetch or daemon or whatever, was finding/ buying the pendant that is her anchor.

my birthday was coming up and I was depresso, with an abusive ex, in the middle of writing the Labyrinth fanfic I never finished lol

so I was at work and scrolling through Amazon looking for something for myself and I was trying to look at owl pendants because Labyrinth

and ravens kept showing up. especially ones with runes or like a Norse aesthetic.

note: I had not yet converted to paganism lol

I got this strong draw to the one I have now but kept getting this feeling I Needed A Raven Pendant, and not two ravens, just the one.

a friend was like, if you have the feeling there's probably a reason.

and as I was researching what ravens meant - I knew, but wanted to see what other cultures had to say because I'm curious that way.

I got slapped with a vision. I wasn't on anything. I don't think I was even taking meds yet. I was just sitting in a desk at work. I don't have hallucinations.

the vision was this like... I was being led out of a forest by a raven. It was dark but not like nighttime, just like the canopy of trees overhead blocking out the sky. and there were lots of branches and roots and bushes with spikes, etc making it difficult to navigate. but the raven showed me where to go that was the easiest to get out, and I got to a clearing and the raven flew up towards the sun, and it was over.

so I got the pendant. I later found out the vision came from Odin. Thor said something along the lines of, "humans don't give themselves visions, silly."

my abusive ex was also my mentor when I was a probationer for the A:.A:.

I didn't remember seeing the back of the pendant when I was buying it and I didn't recognize the symbol on it, nor the runes. I hadn't learned the runes at that time, and didn't realize it was just all of them in order.

so I asked him, and he didn't know but said to put it in salt for three days to cleanse it. he'd held it to look at it when I showed him and Did. Not. Like. It. he said he felt it crawl up his arm trying to change him.

my friend panicked and said I shouldn't listen to the ex, that she'd had people ruin her tools that way. and then she backtracked and said she didn't mean to tell me what to do, just that salt would completely make it energetically null - which I knew.

I hid the pendant so he wouldn't know, even though he wasn't watching me that closely. but I was paranoid so to make sure I didn't leave it somewhere he could touch it or find it, I wore it for three to five days, hidden. I held it when I slept, didn't let anyone else see or touch it. I wore it openly after it had been like I don't remember, like four or five days.

I felt the bird that sings to me in my shower after that. Not every time, but if I sort of "look" for her, she's there. Not a hallucination, but a sort of feeling, like when I sense any other entity.

That November, when I needed money, I got a grant from school in the middle of the semester for exactly what I needed for the rent. There were several other times around that time that I got money when I needed it, but that's the one I remember clearly because there wasn't much other explanation for it. I knew it was my Raven.

and Idk, I don't "send" her on tasks. Sometimes money just shows up. Sometimes other people have had her visit them, or have seen her. Sometimes without me telling them about her.

My gf has DID and one of the alters - we'll call him N - I didn't know until later, my Raven had come to N asking for help, and he gave her extra energy. and a friend commented - independently, before I told her about what N had done - that my Raven seemed to be... flying faster or had more wings or something.

When my ex psychically attacked me, or did what felt like a storm of energy, my Raven didn't protect me, she came running from wherever she was and hid, deep down. In the aftermath, when I was in the shower, door locked, I reached for her. and she was still there and while but shaken? like if I could see her physically, feathers ruffled and maybe some missing/ falling out. Stressed and like she'd been through a bad storm or too much wind and gotten hurt but nothing broken or too damaged that a good night's sleep wouldn't heal. and she was fine after that.

so idk, I knew she leaves and comes back. I instinctively know she's vulnerable when she's away and I feel naked without my pendant. at first, I took it off to shower and sleep, but since around when the ex was throwing a fit at me trying to leave, and since I've left, everything has been chaotic for the past year or two, so I leave it on even to sleep and shower now. I'm in a very safe place living with my mom so sometimes the pendant comes off in the shower now, but it hangs in the shower with me.

I don't remember if it was before or after the ex left, but it was while I was in the same apartment we'd shared, something did try to grab my pendant while I was in the shower. N can astral project/ travel though and would follow me in the shower around that time because he's very protective and did not trust the ex. Come to think of it, I think it was while the ex was still there now. Anyways, N smacked whatever it was that tried to grab my pendant, and scared it off. But it's something that made me paranoid about taking it off or otherwise not having it within reach.

She hasn't done as much running off and getting things for me lately, it seems. Or perhaps she has, and I've not noticed it the same way because there's a lot stacked against me financially right now. But I know my Raven is still there, because if I look for or reach for her, I can feel her.

I kiss the pendant often, and I realized later that kisses are a way I charge a few things. I made a construct/ thought form/ servitor of a guard dog by painting a statue of a dog. and I would kiss and pet it like I would a regular dog. I do sometimes kiss my fingers and rest them on the statues or representations of my gods, or kiss the statues directly.

In the case of my Raven, I instinctively know she's a part of me/ connected to me. That vision was about guidance, not protection. So I'm not sure if the kisses are feeding or offering or just regular ol' affection.

Also, for context, I either was ulfhednar in a past life or inherited my Raven from one who was. I'm working on learning/ re-learning Seidr work, and have done some things like channeling, psychopomp type/ spirit work, talking to spirits, etc since childhood, though some of it was of course unintentional.

I was planning to write my own thoughts and comments here, but I’ve been struggling with severe exhaustion due to personal issues so that’ll have to wait. I find all this to be very interesting, whether your fylgja and my daemon are the same thing or not. I’ll definitely be looking more into the fylgja and similar ideas and cross referencing for my own work.

Also as a side note, I haven’t talked about it here but werewolf/shapeshifter magic has been an interest of mine for a while and it’s lovely to hear someone mention ulfhednar. I had zero knowledge of them before doing my research into shapeshifter magic, while berserkir are way more well known by most.

If anyone else has their own experiences to provide, I’d be happy to hear them. I’ll try to write something more in depth on my thoughts sometime in the next few days.

#fylgja #daemons #daemointus #seidr #norse paganism

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bl4z33467 · 2 months ago

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I am Blaze.

I do art commission for discord nitro. Pm for more info. (Open, single character only, no complex backgrounds)

NSFW ACCOUNTS DNI

Owner of the Fallout Tumblr Hivemind Server: https://discord.gg/SyrdbEpr2d

Woah learn more about me \/ \/ \/

Facts about me:

Im 17 years old. Im a senior in highschool. Im from Pennsylvania, EST.

Im Agender and use she/they/it. He if im comfortable with you. I present androgynous. Your welcome to guess what i was assigned at birth lol.

Im Asexual (double A battery). I like men. And non binary masc tbh- Im not here to date though. If you want me, befriend me first smh. Even though ik you dont lol.

I am diagnosed with PTSD. Please do not talk to me about car crashed or vehicle accident, or make fun of my vehicle.

I do not have any other diagnosis but im frequently legitimately asked if i have autism irl, so you can make inferences. I do not like self diagnosis. I also struggle with extreme emotions, like outbursts or anger. I probably do not mean to harm you but can just lose it.

Im very happy to make friends with you, but please be patient as sometimes i can be standoffish in fear of you.

My fursona is Blazeus. She is a Gar-Pheasant Monster. I use her to express myself. Here is their reference sheet:

Things I like:

Birds. I would consider them my "special interest." I have been obsessed with them for years and years. I have chickens, muscovies, and pigeons. I show pigeons. My favorite birds are large ground birds like peacocks and pheasants, also pigeons. Also i like birds with cool feet, like coots and sula nebouxii.

Art. I love drawing, painting, making perlers, writing, sewing, and crafting. I do not like crotchet and knitting is okay. I use my art to express my emotions and tell about who I am.

Fallout. Its a cool game, it has music I like and gameplay is fun. I love writing stories, drawing and making ocs with my friends about the fandom.

OSC. I love object shows. I like most of the "popular" ones, besides one. I did not really like one mostly cuz it was scary.

Furry Fandom. Despite my parents saying I cant use the term "furry" I still consider myself s staunch one. I love drawing and making anthropomorphic characters. I also make fur suits and love wearing paws, tails, and ears.

Cosplay. Along with fur suits, i make non-furry costumes. I love going to cons dressed up and hanging out with nerds and being silly. I mostly have made fallout cosplays, like my secuitron and t-60 helmet.

Planes. I love plane spotting, and going to plane museums. I also am a fan of the logistics of planes. My favorites are the Concorde and 747. I like commercial aircraft a lot more than military.

Barcodes. I am fascinated by barcode symbology. The science behind creating these 1d and 2d data structures is incredible fascinating to me. My favorite symbology is the PDF417

Animals. I love all animals, not just birds. I especially like bugs and fish. Some of my favorite non-avian animals include gar, trout, crickets, millipedes, hyenas, snow leopards, snakes, isopods, catfish, flounder and halibut, gharials, sharks, and eels. I also like prehistoric animals. My favorite is marrella splendens

Geography and Cultures. I love maps and flags. I also collect flags and can stare at maps forever. I memorized all the country flags. I also love countryballs. I also love learning about different cultures. If you want something to talk to me about, tell me a food unique to your culture! Im from amish country so I have some pretty cool ones. Also learning about different religions is cool too! Personally, im a christian (the nice kind who actually loves thy neighbor) but I find the differences and similarities in religions fascinating.

My friends. My best friend is @irenecatz. We met back in like 2022 in December. We have been friends ever since. We got to meet each other irl in the summer of 2024. That was the best day of my life. She means so much to me, and without her I may not even be around anymore.

Shows: Fallout, Spongebob, The Patrick Star Show, Earth Odyssey, Meltdown: Three Mile Island, Xavier Renegade Angel, Prehistoric Planet, Nasa's Unexplained Files.

Movies: The Truman Show, Chicken run 1&2, Rio, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, 2001: A Space Odessy, Interstellar, Nacho Libere, Wall-e, Home on the range (with the cows by Disney) and Bicentennial Man.

Books/short stories: Fahrenheit 451, a sound of thunder, the veldt, the city, (can you tell i like Ray Bradbury?) Do androids dream of electric sheep?, repent harlequin, said the ticktockman, harrison bergeron, one flew over the cuckoo's nest, a lesson before dying, and dogman (ik in stark contrast).

Games: Fallout (ive played 1,4,NV,shelter) Pokemon, Minecraft, spore, SSB i main game and watch, Bang on balls, Mario Odessey, Gmod, and Roblox.

Activities: Tennis, Biking, Kayaking, walks, bird watching, photography, animal husbandry, fishing from time to time.

Music: I like 1950's rock and roll, ragtime, nerd core, pop, and "white boys singing about shit" genres. Artists include Tally Hall, They might be giants, Sabrina Carpenter, Englebert Humperdink, Gene McDaniels, and Duncan Lawrence. My favorite song is Holiday Road.

Collecting. Thing i collect: flags, bones, rocks, shells, feathers, Japanese chicken figurines, pokemon cards, bottlecaps, pokemon figurines, random bird figurines

Warhammer. Okay this one is new. I dont know too much yet so please dont call me a poser. Its cewl tho im getting into it lel

Other cool things about me

Im part of the National Pigeon Association, Trout Unlimited, and my local pigeon club.

I have won awards in photography and in pigeon shows

Ive been to many different US states and 5 Counties

Im going to school for Wildlife Technology, Wildlife and Fisheries science, and Poultry and Avian Science

Im good at public speaking but not a speaking face to face

Side blogs and other contacts

Yt channel: https://youtube.com/@sardiniastan?si=I9D2_u3ocoQRtU89

Art website: https://sites.google.com/view/six-foot-goose-art/home-page

@vulpesaltilis one of my fallout au oc

@vulpesnovos another fallout au oc

@genral-sir-blaze-s-hale my fallout 4 sole survivor

Discord: bl4z33467

#intro post

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lepertamar · 11 months ago

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Stalking & The Glory of God 2019 vs Revised 2023 comparison

Since it's a short story this is also gonna be just one post! The few changes are still cool enough to have warranted a good bit of rotating in the brain from me though.

to be clear, stalking was published before Birds or Lives, it's mostly only a prequel or comment on Stars and there's no need to wait until after the full series to read it LOL. it's also free and right here.

I've chatted a bit with people who have read the earliest ever version which was actually all the way back from 2016 (this version i have not read since i only discovered this series in late 2021) and learned some things about eg, tamar's characterization, which is so much more boring/bland here than in stars, because it was apparently written before stars. so that aspect is accidental but somehow fits the narrative of stars really well. the 'i didn't have myself...' etc, the way she kind of made herself Become someone blistering and real through her apprehension of an awakening desire etc, sometime in the gap between here and the prologue of stars......it's cool lol. the way safirah here bears so much more resemblance, not exactly in content of personality but in form of metalness and presence, to stars-era tamar, than tamar here bears to her stars-era self.

anyway as usual, new revision changes/additions are in bold, and deleted old things are in strikethrough red

First, a small bit:

Plastered onto the front of one of the cases is some kind of promotional image of two people wearing way too many shiny things. One��s even a demon, as though to say, even a demon can’t help but indulge in what this shop’s got to offer.

I Love Defamilarization So Much. obviously a 'demon' is 'those extremely non-indulgent guys who live apart from society and wouldn't usually be tempted by worldly materialism'. Duh. What else could the term demon mean. anyway it's a nice little curb-cutting before the holy, with it's similar defamiliarized disconnect between irl connotations of term and the in-universe worldbuilding + cultural understanding. The previous version was:

In what Tamar thinks must be some attempt at inclusivity, one’s even a demon. Either that, or she’s just a normal woman with yellow contacts and fake horns, in which case it’s probably the opposite of inclusive.

Which is uhhhh rather cringey and immersion-breaking lol :P Inclusivity even as a concept, let alone phrased in such post-2010s American Leftist sort of language, isn't really a thing on people's minds (or honestly implied to be something being struggled with much) in Sehhinah.

That woman, it was her mouth that was her price for what she did, right?

Just a little tweak that imo does a lot, especially to someone unfamiliar with the series :) the mention of price and 'for what she did' which leaves the punishing vs approvedness of it ambiguous, especially in terms of how laypeople think of it.

It makes her think of the feeling of awe. Or fear. Or curiosity.

changed from

It makes her think of the feeling of awe. Or fear. Or reverence.

Reverence, too, is not a very culturally salient concept in Sehhinah, I can't think of a single other time such an idea was mentioned in regards to G-d. Curiosity, of course, is incredibly Tamar.

“If you were to do what you’re thinking of,” Elīya continues, “you would have to report back to me on any feelings of guilt, and your overall moral sense of the experience. After all, it sounds like you have a little bit of morality these days, from my influence, so you should be able to handle that.” Tamar raises an eyebrow, though Elīya can’t see it over the phone. “Impressive bending of moral codes.”

changed from:

“I’m honestly not sure whether you should go into academic philosophy or be a lawyer,” Tamar says, “what with that impressive bending of moral codes.”

It just slightly allows a pause on just how insufferable Eliya is and exactly what Tamar ran away from and had no idea how to explain herself to in Stars when she did LOL. it also mirrors some phrasing that happens in stars, when eliya or yenatru make an expression tamar can't see.

Couple scenes later:

And their left arm is blackened.

Well, it’s more like a reddish-brown, with a slight, flickering glow under the skin. But it’s burned, burned horribly—the skin twists and turns, and it’s easy to see how it wouldn’t be usable at all. Adding to that impression is the fact that Safirah doesn’t move it, not even for balance: it really was their price, then. Her breath catches. It’s beautiful. Actually, as Tamar continues to look at it—she’s allowed to, she reminds herself, no one will even care or notice—she realizes that the twists on the skin are actually moving. There are patterns there, patterns of flames and not of flames at all; Tamar squints at it. She continues to watch Safirah’s arm as the debaters take their seats, trying to follow the patterns there. She’s becoming half-convinced that they mean something—

I flipped out about this passage back in this post but the thing is it's not even a revision thing. It's always been there!!! In plain sight!!!. I've read it multiple times before the revision and somehow just never snagged on these things.

BUT that incredible passage is heightened by the deletion of a single also very cringey line that seems to have been shoehorned in to try to reassure the readers (or the author herself) of its 'normalcy', as a virtue, at the expense of narrative power or the power of a price as a worldbuilding element in the culture:

Her breath catches. It’s beautiful. And it certainly doesn’t inspire revulsion, and from what Tamar can tell about the crowd’s lack of reaction, that’s a general fact. Actually, as Tamar continues to look at it—

blech right??? just like those books so afraid of being problematic they're ridiculous. the revision is MUCH better.

she focuses on Safirah’s face, trying to discern if there’s anything in the way they smile that hints at the power underneath them. The power that has burned them, changed them. She looks long and hard, finding her eyes drawn to Safirah’s. They seem hard, somehow. Like diamonds. Then Safirah begins their opening speech, apparently having been spurred to do so by the announcer: “This will come as no surprise to those of you who have read my writings, but my answer to the question posited by this debate is no. Not for myself. Yes, as you can see, I have experienced the glory of God firsthand, here, in this life”—they use their right arm to lift their left, for emphasis—“and that’s not the only thing I intend to experience. I’m one for variety, and if there’s one thing we know about the world after the Resurrection, it’s that it’ll have a lot of that. “Our lives argue for us—they argue for what we want to happen after the Resurrection, what kind of new world, or worlds, I suspect, God will create then. And I want to experience that—I want to experience it all. Heaven is already right here in my arm; in my other arm, maybe there can be something else.” Safirah smiles, sharp.

safirahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ;-;

Another observation that has nothing to do with revision, because it already existed this way before, but i love how much this echoes Lucifer's description of what the resurrection will entail, albeit less gratingly phrased, and, also characteristic of safirah (and of stars-and-lives-era tamar) very casually, unselfconsciously, and self-assuredly packing way more background assumptions that fly in the face of what's spelled out more didactically by other characters, regarding theurgy. (the word 'theurgy' never appears in this short story, the word 'manifested' only appears once and in an oblique manner, and only in Israfil's dialogue).

A friend of mine joked, regarding this:

"safirah, accidentally intuiting the entire plot of sehhinah: "

Another change, are a few words in the angel Israfil's speech:

“I came to existence this way, God’s fire in my veins—and I have loved it, have loved most of all my role in helping make the world, in adding what is of me to what exists physically. Truly, God would not have been able to make any of this without Their angels—and I say that not just to toot my own horn, but because it is true. Their soul is many things, but ground, water, air… are not among them. So of course They could not have manifested those into existence, not without more varied souls.

despite being only a few words off, the original was, on second look, an absolutely BAFFLING and flying-in-the-face-of-all-continuity-and-worldbuilding:

“God made me this way, Their fire in my veins—and I have loved it, have loved most of all my role in helping make the world, in bringing great plans to fruition. Truly, God would not have been able to make any of this without Their angels—and I say that not just to toot my own horn, but because it is true. Their soul is many things, but ground, water, air… are not among them. So of course They could not have manifested those into existence, not without more varied assistants.”

angels as assistants?????? angels as crafted in a certain way for a purpose???????? G-D '''HAVING'''' '''''PLANS'''''???? LET ALONE PLANS THEY PLANNED TO BRING TO FRUITION WITH ANGELS?????????????? all these things are assumptions that are so commonplace as to be unnoticeable in any other fiction or discussion of g-d and angels and creation, but are so, so anathema to everything in the rest of sehhinah they are completely explicitly contradictory to canon and jarringly misleading. and it is TRULY delightful that this series is so specifically a stickler about how many things in its worldbuilding can NOT be glossed by reference to common assumptions.

Tamar looks back to Safirah’s arm. The burns, the swirling burns, seeming to draw her in with their suggestiveness, their hints of what has happened to them… she is so curious….

changed from

“The burns, the swirling burns, seeming to draw her in with their promise of pain and joy both…”

ahhhhhhh <3 just another bit of characterization and worldbuilding rigor: no promises, no specificity, just a sexually-charged word 'suggestiveness', riddling hints, another appeal to Tamar's curiosity, and the ambiguity of whether the word 'them' refers to the burns, or to Safirah, or either/both. The phrasing also echoes Lives, where when g-d Sees tesena, tamar's pov on the shockwave is:

she doesn't understand anything at all and it's a delight to see it, a delight to see it all, but yet she is so curious...

Then more of what i was flipping out about in that other post, most of which, again, was there All Along, only one line at the end has been added in this revision:

God, the patterns of the burn really do seem to be moving—and wait, the glow… oh. The glow beneath their skin moves too, in a different way from the marks on the skin itself. In the glow also, Tamar swears she can see patterns, if only it would stop moving for a second. She wonders if they’re the same patterns as the ones on the skin. Do they complement each other? Do they mean something different? God doesn’t communicate in words, Tamar knows, so they’re unlikely to be letters—but then, maybe, feelings? Or, since that burn in Safirah’s arm is God—is God, Themself, Safirah chose to have part of their body be that great and flaming soul—perhaps it’s not something consistent at all. Maybe it represents whatever God’s thinking about, right now, at this moment, or what if it’s even what God and Safirah are thinking, saying in reaction to each other…?

auuuugh....... ;-;

next up:

She has prayed to God before, of course. Out of curiosity, mostly when she was younger—but though she felt the vague turnings of wheels, the sense of God having a whole bunch of eyes, it all felt distant. Like, sure, praying leads to a feeling of a flurry of flames of flapping wings that responds to your thoughts, but it always seemed just… that? A flame like the sun being there suddenly… but yet no closer than the sun.

But having seen a Holy’s mouth, wreathed in flame… a Holy’s arm, burned to a crisp and still swirling… Tamar grins, watching those patterns, watching them…

changed from:

She has prayed to God before, of course. Out of curiosity, mostly when she was younger—but though she felt the vague turnings of wheels, the sense of God having a whole bunch of eyes, it all felt distant. Like, sure, praying leads to feeling bright light and feeling a response to your thoughts, but it’s not much more than the light from sunbathing. So it never interested her that much. But having seen a Holy’s mouth, wreathed in flame… a Holy’s arm, burned to a crisp and still swirling… well, it turns out that praying is barely even a window into the real experience of God. Tamar grins, watching those patterns, watching them…”

this is a bit more in line with how other characters (yairen, tesena, nam'ir -- and the characters in Lives after the Pillar, but that experience is extremely atypical lol) experience g-d while praying: something big, but with very varied experiences regarding how much meaning could be extracted from that non-holy communication. and the trailing off after 'swirling...' is of course superior.

Safirah sighs, long and rough. They raise their left leg and press Tamar’s chest to the wall with their knee. That done, they remove their right arm, the one that originally did the pressing, from Tamar’s shoulder.

changed from:

Safirah sighs, a long and rough thing, not at all what Tamar might have assumed one of the Holy is supposed to sigh like, if they are supposed to sigh at all. They raise their left leg and with their knee press Tamar’s chest to the wall.

This is another excellent deletion of a more blandly-commonplace, but completely-out-of-continuity-with-the-rest-of-the-series idea of how the holy are viewed by characters in-universe.

Safirah’s laughter fades into quiet giggles, and they look at Tamar and say, “Oh, kid, you were afraid you were stalking?” Tamar isn’t sure if she should answer that question, but she nods slightly anyway. “Not to say”— another giggle interrupts Safirah’s speech—“that you entirely weren’t stalking. Oh, but you were so concerned about it! That’s really sweet, especially when I was half-expecting an actual attack.” Tamar finally makes it to the point where she manages out one word: “What?” Ēnnuh’s nowhere near that dangerous. “Depending on what you’re asking, for starters, I did read your mind, if that answers your question.” Tamar had figured out that much. “Or—well, the other obvious question I can answer is, yes, an attack. Nothing to do with the city itself, just with me. As I’ve directly argued that little to nothing would be lost if the option for Heaven were removed—not that I expect or want such to happen—I’ve been a target for a decent share of nasty letters lately. Now, usually those types don’t actually follow up on their threats, but when I heard suspicious and yet poorly concealed footsteps behind me in an alleyway… I admit I may have jumped to conclusions. As I think I am generally skilled at not doing in the context of writing, debates, and so on, this one included.”

there is soooooo much more suggestiveness here than in the previous version. maybe my jewishness is showing but i just really enjoy the whole idea of safirah being targeted with hate mail because their ideas are considered dangerous or serious enough to warrant it.

the original was a much less interesting and rather clunky 'a mugger, due to safirah reading too many crime novels' rather than 'an attack, due to safirah getting nasty letters (death threats?) about their work':

Safirah’s laugher fades into quiet giggles, and they look at Tamar and say, “Oh, honey, you were afraid you were stalking?” Tamar isn’t sure if she should answer that question, but she nods slightly anyway. “Not to say”— another giggle interrupts Safirah’s speech—“that you entirely weren’t stalking. Oh, but you were so concerned about it! That’s really sweet, especially when I was half-expecting muggers.” Tamar finally makes it to the point where she manages out one word: “What?” Ēnnuh’s nowhere near that dangerous. "Depending on what you’re asking, for starters, I did read your mind, if that answers your question.” Tamar had figured out that much. “Or—well, the other obvious question I can answer is, yes, muggers. This may be a major city, and very Holy-respecting at that, but to someone motivated enough, my arm may read as a weakness to be exploited—or maybe I’ve just been reading too many crime books lately. What I’m trying to say is, I am neither weak nor always the best at thinking on my feet when in an unfamiliar city. Though I think I did well in the debate.”

this is kinda boring imo. lol. it didn't stand out to me as bad or good before, but one of the really fun thing about all these revisions is how i can really feel how much more thoughtful and/or efficiently-packing-in-implied-ideas-and-info basically all the revision changes are! which is honestly really motivating/idea-generating to me if i ever try to write fiction in the future? how to replace anything bland or whatever-feeling with something that holds more information (including just aesthetic/emotional information).

#stalking and the glory of god #sehhinah #sehhinah revisions tag #coal sings

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johaerys-writes · 1 year ago

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For the writer asks! 🌈💝💥🤲

[Writing Asks]

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

There have been chapters in High-Flying Birds that I struggled with, and it is a fic I continue to struggle with sometimes haha. Mainly because there is so much I want to write, many little moments that are hard to arrange in a coherent chapter or arc, and there are also many things I feel like I have to write (or stay 100% faithful to canon) and that if I don’t readers might be disappointed or *I* will be disappointed with the end product looking back lol. It’s also a fic that I've done a lot of research for, so there were chapters or arcs that were a long time in the making (and one of the reasons why I'm so slow to update it lol...... it just all needs to marinate in my brain). One of the chapters that I struggled with in particular was The Sacrifice, because trying to condense Euripides' 'Iphigenia at Aulis' in a couple of chapters and also make it engaging and coherent was really hard.

Another fic I've struggled A LOT with, and I mean A LOT sometimes, is my DA longfic A World With You. Maybe it was because of my inexperience while writing certain bits, maybe it's the DA lore itself that is sometimes confusing but there were certain arcs that gave me such a hard time. I felt like I kept writing myself into corners and had to delete and rewrite a lot, and it was just pure agony lol. I do feel like I learned a lot through these struggles though so I don't begrudge them too much 😅

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Ooh good question. I feel like you're a walking disaster and yet- is a fic that I did not expect many people to read-- I expected max 2 or 3 people to follow it but I've been pleasantly surprised by how invested people have become in this story. It warms my heart to see readers care so deeply about these boys; not to get overly personal LOL but I've poured a lot of my heart in it, it almost feels like cheating sometimes because several scenes or exchanges in it are things I or people close to me have experienced, and it's also sort of me appreciating but also heavily criticising the culture I've grown up in (something I hope comes across lol.) It’s so rare for me to be able to write something so close to my own reality that it feels like a niche in and of itself, and I'm so grateful for everyone who has been tagging along.

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

Okay so I'm going to cheat for this one because my least kudosed fic is something I wrote ages ago for an exchange and I don’t have much to say about it, BUT my second least kudosed fic As It Was is one of my favourites because I wrote it for @mogwaei who is one of my favourite people, featuring Solas and their OC Maordrid from their fic Ouroboros, which is one of my favourite pieces of literature! Like ever!! And has had a profound impact on me and I love it and all the characters in it to bits!!! I still go back to this fic I wrote from time to time and drown myself in Mao/Solas feels 🫶 I feel like I captured something that is important to both of these characters, a small part of the connection they share and some of the things that draw them to one another. I'm quite proud of it ngl.

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

Oh boy that's a good question haha. Like what does one get out of doing anything creative? It's definitely a great pastime. I spend many hours daydreaming/writing/editing/posting, time that I could use to do literally anything else but I just love the feeling of getting immersed in a different world, another person's mind. So escapism is a big part of it too I guess-- focusing on a fictional character's life and problems is so much better than focusing on my own LOL. I can tell you that my anxiety has been so much better ever since I started writing consistently, and it's why it's so important to me to set aside time every day to write.

Another more personal reason writing is important to me is because as an autistic person, writing about people and their feelings and how they interact with the world really helps me understand and process my own feelings and experiences in a way, since that is something I struggle with on a daily basis. And having this routine of writing also helps me gauge my mood/ emotions/energy levels, like I don’t always realise when I feel like shit or why I feel like this or what to do about it, but when I'm too tired or out of it to write I know it’s perhaps time to take a break and maybe reflect on some stuff lmao. And!! Of course!! Writing is great when it comes to processing traumatic or painful stuff. Like when my dad passed away last year I found myself writing a lot about grief and loneliness and losing people/situations that are important to you and not really knowing what to do about it, and I did that without even really realising it so I'm grateful for having this creative outlet that lets me process stuff in a somewhat healthy way lol.

This got unnecessarily long SORRY haha, but thank you so much for your asks 💙💙

#johaerys answers #writing asks #on writing

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anemonecoronaria · 3 months ago

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anyway bc im fully into my periodic undignified nightly word vomit marathon let me list things im interested in and see if i can figure out smth abt myself thru it okay i really want to:

Photography. I like photographing things especially wildlife and birds. i actually think im rlly decent in taking pictures of inanimate things BUT i cannot take a picture of someone for the life of me i canr master people’s angles. Since im studyinf architecture i think wildlife and architectural photography are really cool, especially random interesting things you may take pics of.

If i get more into this i think i can actually be a rlly good photographer but again consistency lol, which i lack.

guitar is becoming rlly attractive to me. when beirut started getting struck on the daily i learnt li beirut on the piano and i was actually quite decent you know? but i ditched it if i hadnt id be playing it rlly well right now but i also discovered it’s actually a piece composed by a Spaniard during the spanish civil war about some gardens there and idk but it’s such a beautiful piece to me and it reinforces my belief that Mediterraneans share the exact same culture and soul but in different frequencies i cant explain it

i like drawing but ironically enough for an architecture student sketching more organic shapes is easier for me than just doing straight lines and perspective. I hate drawing in perspective and i rlly love the creativity that comes with painting and animation, even landscapes sound better to me. I dont draw or sketch daily but maybe I should start doing so bc my drawing is stuck halfway between good and bad and i feel consistency would do me a whole lot of good. I have potential and drew a lot as a kid, and i want to get into painting and charcoal mediums too

im immersing myself in Spanish bit by bit. I feel in love with it and listening to music in spanish has rlly helped me, as did random translations thru google extensions. I will say that knowledge of etymologically latin words in english does help though. But again im not consistent. I’m interested in in Japanese and Russian, but im starting to warm up to french and german (Dark converted me). I tried to learn Hebrew for a year and I can pretty much understand from 1/8 to 1/4 of any written thing depending on the context but the only material abt me to read there is genocidal mania and i have enough of it in English so i just stopped lmao maybe i should return to it. Im not interested in communicaring w it just understanding so i think a year of learning would be enough

Animation sounds extremely interesting, id love ro dabble in it in the future. Graphic design is also sort of appealing especially in the architectural field and presentation

Tatreez requires a high attention span which doesn’t sound ideal for me but i may give it a shot in the future somebody ought to preserve our traditions

Horse-riding 😍😍😍 I just feel like riding a horse and feeling the wind blowing thru my hair would be a healing experience. When i get strong enough in the gym (and get my drivers licence 🥲) i will try it. But rn i have zero core strength and a horse could jump and send me flying into the air

Finally writing and character desigm. I mainly want to learn to draw so i can visualise my own characters but the only thing im actually consistently good at is character building and development.

I think i do have adhd but ill see. I

#writing informallt is therapeutic #i dint care abr typos #why am i even treatint tumblr as a place for friends #this’ll be my dumpster fire late night ramble diary from now on

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castle-dimitrescu · 4 years ago

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Duke x Alcina hcs because I have neverending brainrot (and yes I actually ship this)

The duke ADORES Alcina so fucking much it's ridiculous

He can't help but admire her

They only use pet names. If they say each other's real names you know something is VERY wrong

Duke will BATHE Alcina in compliments

She just soaks up his love and smothers him in kisses

When they cuddle the duke just worships her every curve and imperfection

Her crow's feet and laugh lines make him MELT

He runs his hands up and down the curves of her hips over and over cus he just loves them so much

It's not even sexual admiration he just thinks her whole body is a masterpiece

Even the rolls of her belly when she sits down make him melt

"Darling if only I could do justice to your body by painting it, but unfortunately I don't have the hands of a god"

He finds new poetic ways to describe her beauty

She just adores it so much

She loves his chubby little cheeks so much

She loves cupping them in her hands and just gazing at him

She loves smothering his face in kisses

Cus whenever she does it he gets all red in the face and giddy with joy

He makes sure to use super good quality chapstick and lip balm so his lips are perfectly soft because "I need to make sure my lips are worthy of being kissed by a goddess"

He buys her GORGEOUS dresses and has them custom-tailored to her

She just absolutely spoiled by him

But don't worry she returns the favor

Cus they believe in gender equality >:3

She gives him tons of affection and kisses

She buys gorgeous smelling candles for him

She makes his FAVORITE wines and buys his favorite liquors

She sings to him and plays piano for him

They're very classy about their relationship tho

They keep public displays of affection to a minimum and you would never guess they were in love, just very respectful of each other

But when they're alone?

THEY LOVE BIRDS

The daughters have gotten used to it and even treat the duke like their dad

They call him "papa" "dad" even some goofy nicknames

Dani calls him "pug" cus he reminds her of a chubby pug

One of Alci's nicknames for him is "munchkin"

They behave a lot like Gomez and Morticia Adams

Just the purest most affectionate form of love

They love tasting wines together

He loves making her laugh

they love playing games together like poker or blackjack but mainly chess

cus they're both REAAAALLY good at it and they love trash-talking and flirting

sometimes they combine trash talk and flirting and the result is BIZARRE

it's so fun to watch them play chess tho cus they have the BEST comebacks

watching them play speed chess is fucking WILD

it's like watching a battle between two master boxers

but it's an intense battle of witts

they both speak TONS of different languages and they often speak to each other in them just cus they can

the duke's favorite is french and Italian

they also like learning dead or dying languages like Somali and Irish and old scots

Alcina serenades the duke in old french and Latin and it MELTS HIS HEART

there's also a song in Irish Gaelic called "Mo Ghille Mear" (my gallant hero) that Alcina loves singing for him cus it's just so fucking gorgeous

let's say they're in an au where they know about technology and video games

they love playing intellectual strategy games together

like civilization 6 is one of their faves

Alcina always chooses a cultural victory and the duke tries to go for a scientific victory

idk if any of yall know what the fuck I'm talking about but oh well lol

They also have a survival world on Minecraft together

They love building huge ornate builds together

like they have a home base that's a recreation of Castle Dimitrescu

Alcina does the bulk of the mining and hunting for resources and duke does the bulk of the building

I've exhausted myself from the excitement this gave me but I might post more hcs if yall like these. Hell, I might start doing those hc list things some blogs do where people send an ask requesting hcs for a ship. Hope you like these cus I shared them with a discord server and they loved them so much i just had to share them with you guys.

#ooc #hcs #resident evil 8 village #resident evil 8 #resident evil #resi 8 #resident evil village #re8 #re 8 village #duke x alcina #lady dimitrescu #tall vampire lady #the duke #re the duke

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wisteria-lodge · 3 years ago

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snake primary + snake secondary (bird model)

Hello! I recently discovered your blog and really love the thought you’ve put into the nuances of the SHC system. I’m super into these kinds of personality analysis systems (I’ve probably been through them all at this point) because I think it’s interesting to know how people tick - I also think self-awareness is important so that you know why you do what you do, essentially. I took the SHC quiz and it told me I was a Snake Primary with a Bird Model, and a Bird Secondary with a Snake Model. I agree that I’m probably a (somewhat petrified) Snake Primary with a strong Bird Model, but I’m not sure which is my true secondary and which is the model. Maybe you can help?

I can sure try :)

Some things about me: I’m an oldest daughter, and I’m almost 100% sure my dad is a Bird Snake and I *idolized* him as a child - I thought he had it all figured out. He was the Zeus to my Athena in my child’s eyes, and I think I got my Bird primary model very early from copying him.

I mean, I know what you mean in a “sole creator” sense, but there is no *way* Athena thought Zeus had it all figured out.

My two younger brothers are a Lion Snake and a Lion Badger, and my mother is possibly a Double Badger, though I’m not as sure about her - maybe she just thinks that she *should* be a Double Badger. I think all that is important to help illustrate that I didn’t really feel *at home* when I was with my family, though I loved them, since I was the only Snake. My parents also had a terrible relationship and are now divorced, so there’s that as well. I think the only time I have ever been truly morally outraged was the revelation that my dad had engaged in infidelity against my mom, and then again when he started dragging his feet over a promise the he had made my youngest brother. We didn’t speak for a long time after that incident, but I was really cut up over dropping him.

Oh yeah. That’s very Snake primary. Morally outraged because your People are getting hurt.

We eventually started to reconcile, and the only reason we did was because he called and said he was driving through my city one day, and even after all of that, I said yes to meeting up because I felt sad that I had dropped him. I think this family dynamic, plus some other childhood stuff, led to me sort of “checking out” and petrifying pretty early.

Just a theory - I think it’s possible that this hit your secondary more than it hit your primary. You seem pretty strong and confident in your Snake primary so far. Even the fact that you can identify it coming from such a non-Snake environment, and don’t feel guilty about it, is big.

I had a lot of trouble making friends in school.

I’m thinking this might be more of a secondary thing.

and generally ended up with like one friend who was the other weird girl, and who I always sort of kept at arm’s length emotionally. I moved schools several times as a kid and after the first best friend (who was the daughter of my mom’s best friend and was like a sister to me until she moved away), I really didn’t try too hard to make new “best” friends.

Hmm. See, this reads like a *default* friend to me, not a friend of choice. The other weird girl. The daughter of your mom’s friend. That’s an easy friend to have… and not one that you necessarily sought out. I’m not surprised that your primary didn’t latch onto her with that Snake intensity.

Even now, though I definitely have concentric circles of loyalty and a significant other who is my “top person”, I’m not sure I have that blind Snake I-would-literally-die-for-you loyalty toward anyone - I’d kill or hide a body for my top circles

That *is* Snake loyalty. Snakes aren’t going to die for someone else, are you kidding? That’s a sucker’s game. They value themselves too much.

I would give up a lot of my own comfort for my significant other. Maybe I’m just afraid to let myself feel that unquestioning loyalty, though I want to feel it, or maybe I’m really a Bird and just want to be a Snake because that would mean I could be un-broken eventually.

Let’s talk about your secondary, I want to hear about how you think you’re broken, because so far you seem fine. Congrats on the SO!

I don’t think I’m an Idealist though - I’m surrounded by them and I know I don’t care about “principles” the way they do. Then again, maybe I’m a Bird whose truth is that moral relativism is the truth lol. Anyway, I think for my primary, I’m probably a petrified Snake with a Bird model unless I’m totally wrong about myself.

I think you’re just a Snake who… is a Snake.

(you’ve got that Birdy influence though, from your dad, and they do like to complicate things.)

As for my secondary, I loved to read (everything - all kinds of fiction, especially sci-fi/fantasy/mystery and, like, Victorian sci-fi/horror adventures, nature books, medical texts, etc. Wikipedia was a revelation when it came out), and I was smart and good at taking tests and knowing the answers in school, so at a certain point I think I just defaulted to being “the smart one” and used that as armor to help keep people from getting too close.

yep yep yep, welcome to the ‘fun Bird model’ club, we have snacks

I do genuinely love to learn, and I’ve always been known among friends and family as the one who either knows the answer or will look it up. I love pop culture trivia and nature facts. I also love and am good at debate, but not really when real feelings are involved - I more love the “battle of wits” aspect, where I can match up against a person to see if my knowledge and ability to adapt my argument on the fly can stump them.

I also would argue the unpopular point, or the point I didn’t agree with, just for sport. Fun Bird secondary model.

I developed terrible anxiety and probably some depression as well in high school.

Okay, now I’m seeing the problem.

and now that I’m older, I suspect that I may have ADHD, though I haven’t been officially assessed. I didn’t discover my executive function issues really until college, when suddenly being smart and being able to figure out the test answers through context clues and what I remembered from lectures and readings + whatever trivia I had gathered about the topic wasn’t enough anymore.

I suspect you’re right about being ADHD. Or at least being neruodivergent.

I am horrible at studying! I would plan out my study sessions and make these nice little cheat sheets (these were allowed on exams) and they didn’t work at all! I did very well in my literature minor though, because all the graded assignments were papers rather than open-answer tests, and I could get my thoughts out better and with more resources at my disposal if I forgot something and needed to go back to the book to check.

Oh ouch. Yeah, I’m not even relating this back to a secondary, because I’m reading this as a working memory thing? Like ugh tests are such a terrible way access knowledge. What is even the *point* of memorization anymore? You should have been able to have a college career that was completely writing papers, like I did.

I was at one point very jealous of my Lion Snake brother, who I felt could do “whatever he wanted” with minimal consequences, while I always felt constrained by being “good” and not rocking the boat too much with my family.

Yep. That’s being an oldest daughter.

I couldn’t understand why he didn’t seem to care about being considerate to everyone else in the household (especially my chronically overworked, can’t-say-no Badger mom lol).

It’s because he’s the youngest. Mine’s the same.

This attitude was definitely influenced by my anxiety issues at that time, since I had (and still have) a lot of trouble asking for anything - help, permission, whatever. I’d rather do things and explore on my own, without anyone watching, so I don’t have to ask and don’t have to explain.

Did you low-key raise your younger siblings? Because it sounds like you raised your siblings.

I feel better with a little bit of distance, and definitely wear masks in most situations. I’d say my masks are half conscious and half reactive - I do have some idea of how I’d like to be perceived, but it’s only kind of systematic.

That makes me think Snake or Badger secondary.

I have a few “characters” that I use as touchpoints when I’m going into a new situation, but once I’m there I mostly just act nice and funny and see what happens.

So far I’m going with Badger secondary (be nice and and assume it’ll be fine is very badger) with a fun Bird secondary model, that you can do an Actor Bird thing with. Although liking to “just see what happens” is pretty snake.

The characters are really just costumes I use to give off a certain first impression, although I do really like the costumes and find them fun. I love clothes, makeup, and perfume too, because I enjoy the idea of making multidimensional costumes for different settings. I actually enjoy the mask a lot of the time - I have tattoos that are purposefully in places that I can cover easily, because I enjoy the idea that there’s something under the professional mask that people only know about if I show them. I’m a bit socially awkward I think (I repeat myself and talk a lot), but most people tend to either like me or tolerate me, and I don’t get into a lot of interpersonal conflicts.

Hm. Either Courtier Badger or Snake secondary, fun Bird secondary model. However. Especially after talking about your Actor Bird in such fun, positive, happy language… I am going to call you out for “socially awkward” and “people tolerate me.” Which tells me you don’t have as much faith in your social skill set, and it’s *maybe* a little burnt.

(Also, not to get too armchair psychologist tell-me-about-your-mother, but if your mom has a “chronically overworked, can’t-say-no” Badger secondary… that’s going to affect how you see Badger secondaries.)

Right now I work in a very Badger/Bird workplace, and it’s really a terrible fit, even though I can squeak by enough to fool my superiors into thinking I’m doing a good job.

oh we’ve got some imposter syndrome, that can also be a burnt secondary thing.

It’s all long-term planning and daily maintenance tasks, and I really don’t like it. I change most of my plans partway through, but I’m not sure if it’s because I’m really an improvisational secondary at heart, or if I’m truly a Bird that’s just bad at planning for all of the variables.

I’m going to say you’re not a Bird. Making cheat-sheets (which is a very Bird secondary strategy) also did not work, and you feel confined by, not comforted by plans. You’re not a Lion, you enjoy keeping your true self to yourself too much. You could be either a Badger or Snake. And if you really hate daily maintenance tasks… that could be coming from a few places, but it makes me lean Snake.

I love being in situations where I can iterate on a plan, or make a new plan on the fly. I love escape rooms and am pretty good at them; I still get stumped and need hints sometimes, but when I *get* a puzzle, it sort of just clicks for me? I don’t think in a very linear way and am not a good chess player, but I also have never studied chess so perhaps I just am at a knowledge disadvantage in that game.

This is also you using Bird to have fun, and we know you *love* using Bird to have fun.

One of my proudest moments

okay this is definitely going to be helpful

was when I was on a day trip with my significant other, and we needed to find a place to buy food quickly so we wouldn’t miss a specific ferry and then a specific bus - we were on an island, and near the ferry station the restaurants were all too expensive and we were worried they would take too long anyway. He was starting to get frazzled, but I was able to think on my feet, and we just grabbed a calming beer (lol) at a creepy neighborhood bar, then got on the ferry and bought microwave meals at a 7-Eleven by the bus station. It was awesome and I was very proud of myself for staying calm and looking around myself for options.

Well that is VERY Snake secondary.

I generally take a long time making decisions when it’s not a crisis situation, because I have to *weigh all the options*, but I often end up in analysis paralysis. Crunch time is where I really shine as a decision-maker.

Snake again. From what I’m seeing, your Bird is a fantastic toy, but actually kind of makes you miserable when you have to depend on it for the important stuff. (studying, your job, making important decisions)

All of this long post is to say, I’m not sure whether my Bird secondary is a fun model that got repurposed into an executive dysfunction compensation tool and anxiety/depression soother to supplement my Snake secondary

I think you hit the nail straight on the head right there.

or if Bird is my true secondary and Snake is a model that I learned from my dad and brother + characters I admire in media

oh your favorite characters are Snake secondaries are they? That’s a big tell.

and that I use when I fail to plan adequately given my executive dysfunction.

Executive dysfunction is a whole thing, but you don’t have to “”plan adequately”” for everything.

I find both fun and both useful, but I’m not sure which is innate and which is the model!

My money is on snake secondary, Bird secondary model.

#submission #sortinghatchats #wisteria sorts #sortme #double snake #snake primary #snake secondary #bird secondary model #family dynamics

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years ago

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Dear new friend,

I just finished reading your messages. First of all, thank you. I think I would have been less traumatized out here if a lot of people took to sharing their thoughts on matters such as these in the manner in which you do.

I think I set myself up too because I be wanting to participate in certain topics and discussions and so often I find myself trying to sieve through the vitriol and pejoratives.

The gender of the word is feminine not masculine. I don’t see how that is misinformation.

"Sorry, the misinformation bit was because I was thinking about that tweet that went viral about this word being used only for woman. The person said it was an adjective, and you said it was an adjective, so I thought you were basing this information on that tweet. That day was crazy, some people spread this, wanted to change his pronouns, trend a hashtag and were saying he had came out... This was too much. And the "debunked" thing was about this tweet, as well. Not about the words being feminine and masculine. That's a fact, you're right."

I had no idea a tweet went viral like that claiming he wanted to change his pronouns. That's wild and I disagree. Lol. I think I've always maintained he uses He/him pronouns and said time and again I do not think he wants to be emasculated at all. As I said, that would have made him transgender not bigender and thus defeat the purpose. To be bigender he has to be two genders at the same time not one.

But I have been following the discussions on this topic on the bird app and I try my best to bring nuance to certain discussions. I try. Lol.

I take note of the differences between your language and Latin as you rightly pointed out. But I also do see the similarities and I think the explanation you gave and the examples you provided gives me a better understanding of the language structure.

"Yeah, totally fine hahah We tend to interpret things according to our own experiences; for me, a gendered word is part of my daily life, normal, and I don't bat an eye about it. Is just a word, the importance is in its meaning ─ and it suits filter SOOO well. For you, it's something more. At the end of the day, art is here to be interpreted, and if Jimin doesn't explicitly explain the filter performance, tattoos, set, outfits... It's open for interpretation. (And I'm not a person that tries to find hidden meanings. I simply enjoy what I enjoy. I have this thing about being as accurate as possible, so I try to stick to facts (like: I don't feel comfortable saying he chose these words, because I don't know if HE was the person that chose it (in the sense that he was the one that bring it up to the staff/company). Maybe someone else showed it to him and he was like: "Nice! I want it!". But I feel okay saying he's had a tattoo with these words (A fact). Also I don't make a big deal of most things ─ for me Jimin is Jimin and I'm supporting him regardless, he's precious)

(But Memories 2020 is coming and I'm almost sure they are going to show filter behind the scenes!!!! So we're going to understand better this masterpiece (I HOPE SO))

I understand what you mean. Some people are inclined towards taking the literal meaning of texts or in this case art and not read much into situations beyond what is presented at face value- not me🤣🤣🤣🤣

I do the magnifying glass and errthang👁

I think humans are complex and there's always a possibility of a psychological and or pathological stimulus underscoring their behaviors, choices and actions in most cases.

But that aside, I think it's easier to take a heteronormative view on things sometimes because cis straight has always been the norm even in appreciating art- but truth is, coding and co opting codified expressions is almost always part of queer culture and behavior too. If any other queer celebrity had used that expression, I would be reading much into it too beyond its semantics.

For me it's simple, would I be reading too too much into the language and art choice of someone I thought was cis straight? Hell No. Straight is boring and blunt as fuck.

Unless of course they were being intentionally witty or secretive about something, I'd assume and expect their expressions to be pretty much straight forward- generally. I went home to be would mean just that.

If I sensed the author were queer coding Home would mean something else entirely to be. Home becomes a symbol not a word. And if he chose to write that in Latin and not the language they spoke naturally, I'd assume there's something about that language that he likes and perhaps uses to code a queer message.

For closeted queer people who live in a world where they are constantly coerced to take on a duality and have an expressional alter egos- two identical identities with one being the facade and pretense through which they openly and largely perform normalcy of self, the other being their real self which they tuck away because it is inconsistent with the acceptable norms- I'd a take a very different approach to their art. But that's me.

If a straight person said they needed escape, it would mean something totally different to me than say if a queer person said they needed escape. Because those two are escaping two very different things.

For example, the words Moon and moonlight used by a straight person means nothing to me- perhaps because I just don't care much to look for its deeper meaning beyond the literal meaning of the words as presented. If it appears in a queer person's parlance, even if in passing, I assume immediately they are referencing something much more deeper, meaningful and coded.

Queer coding is a thing you know? And it's born out of necessity not choice sometimes.

Take for instance BTS's proclivity to 'queer codify' their music. Moon and moonlight has become symbolic of the inner struggles of a queer person amongst black 'educated' queer men and women. It's come to symbolize cultural norms and expectations and how those affect queer people- perhaps of all race.

In the Movie Moonlight, which has become the epitome of queer black struggles and desires for liberation, this motif was used to represent the struggles of a black boy dealing with the pressures of a hyper masculine society.

When RM references this in 4 Oclock, 'the whole world is blue under the moonlight' is he queer coding or just appropraiting queer parlance as buzz word? That expression takes on a whole new meaning were he queer. Blue symbolizes queerness- a theory popularized of course by the Film. When V who once wrote an allegedly 'queer coded song' Stigma says he is blue- what does he mean now? On the surface blue means blue. Would you take a straightforward view on this or assume its symbolic? And what is it symbolic of?? Sadness?? Gayness?

If RM had an accompanying tattoo as compliment to the song in his performance that evoked similar sentiments or hinted at a possible second meaning I wouldn't assume that that tattoo meant nothing or that it didn't have a deeper meaning behind it.

It's just as how Lil Nas X posted a city of rainbows and people said 'rainbows are rainbows. Y'all shouldn't read much into it.' But for queer people that was pretty much a declaration of his sexuality.

Later he had to post again and reiterate that that rainbow post was his coming out moment. 'I thought I made it obvious.'

Somethings are pretty much obvious.

For JM who don't speak Latin- unless he is secretly fluent in which case my bad- I don't think he cares so much about the grammar of the language beyond it's meaning. And perhaps gender? Grammatical gender I mean. That's just because the first thing you learn about Latin is that all the nouns are gendered?

I won't lie. When I first learned that I was supper fascinated about grammatical gender and why speakers of the language felt a need to gender every word of the language.

In the end, we all don't know. I'm out here convinced two Asian men are so gay they can't straight to save their asses. I have a tendency to view everything they do through queer lens. If they are not gay I'm pretty much gaslighting them you know?

I'm always fascinated by different point of views on a myriad of subjects. Just as you said, our diverse experiences inform our experiences and perspectives. I just hope people acknowledge how their straightness informs their understanding of queerness too and how that has a tendency to be invalidating and dismissive of queer issues and experiences.

But to me it's like, if Jikook are gay why do you have to interpret what they do through straight lens?

Personally, I wouldn't interpret straight through queer lens and force that view on to straight people. That would be homonormative? Assuming rainbow means straight people are gay when they are not, moon means feminine to straight men, that the use of the word God makes one a Christian- that's just silly and bizarre.

I use Namaste often and suddenly some people here think I'm Indian. I wish. They have one hell of a culture.

When I was reading through your messages, all that kept playing in my head was- that's a very 'straight' view on the matter. Lol. Please tell me you got the pun. Lol.

I think my opinion will remain the same on the matter if you placed any queer person in Jimin's stead. Any queer person that I believed was queer and had hinted a few times at exploring a dual identity or going through that phase at least.

I think I'd enjoy your blog if you had one.

I love love the lesson on Italian or is it Spanish?

Also, I would love your take on V and Stigma. A lot of queer stans have a queer reading of the lyrics- I see the appeal however I don't have a queer reading of it at all. Thoughts??

Namaste.

Signed,

GOLDY

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lilydalexf · 4 years ago

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Tabula Rasa

Tabula Rasa has 8 stories at Gossamer, but there are even more X-Files fics at AO3 and her website. She writes Mulder and Scully in a very lovely way. I've recced 3 of my favorites of her fics here before: Bird in Snow, Fall: East on M St, and Skuamorph. Big thanks to Tabula Rasa for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I'm always extremely pleasantly surprised to get kudos (or, very rarely, a comment) on my old fic, but I'm always happy to see it! I did post them all (I think) to AO3. I'm not surprised people are still reading fic, though. It's an iconic show and now with streaming, it's really easy to watch older shows and natural to want fic about them!

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

XF was my first fandom, definitely my first online fandom, and so it will always have a special place in my heart. Also... I had a great time! I stumbled upon and joined the Scullyfic email list by accident, but it was the best thing I could have done. I learned a lot about how to be a writer and how to be in fandom, and those lessons are still important to me. Foundational. Also, in terms of modern fandom drama, XF was more low-key on the drama (although it didn't seem like it at the time!). But I learned something that's always served me well: find like-minded people, and hang out with them. Don't worry about the rest.

Also... you can't control the show, but you kind of can control the canon.

Because of Scully, I ended up taking a forensic anthropology class in university-- and now I have a Master's in a forensic science! Part of the Scully Effect, and proud of it!

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Definitely mostly email list! I never really got the hang of message boards. Posting fic was exhausting, and tbh I never figured out how to work Ephemeral. I checked it every day, though! I loved, after a new episode, everyone sending in their thoughts and reading everyone's experiences together. Fandom was a lot more work back then, tbh!

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

That fic can be just as good, or better, than traditionally published works. There are works of XF fic that have stuck with me for years now, far more than some books I've read. That fan writers can know the characters better than the show writers. The fandom in general was really smart, and mostly more adult than me (I joined fandom when I went away to college, so I always felt at the younger end of the scale. That was good though!).

Also, my first time reading and writing porn. Not gonna lie, I was shocked the first time I accidentally read smut. But I adjusted fast. lol

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I was still a kid (now we would say preteen) when the show premiered- I think in middle school. But I was already into ghosts, aliens, monsters, solving mysteries, and I'd already imprinted on the dynamic thanks to Square One (really)! I was also just old enough to start developing celebrity crushes. Hilariously, I did not twig to the fact that I'm bisexual the entire time I was in XF fandom, despite having enormous crushes on BOTH Mulder and Scully. Ahhhh!

Also, my whole family was into the show, but I was definitely the one with the hyperfixation. I used to take notes and record the episodes as I watched. It just had the right stuff and hit at the right time. And I've always been obsessive.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

As a kid I also really liked Star Trek, and someone had given my dad a book about the history of Star Trek, which I read. This included mentions of fandom and fanfic. As soon as I had a private-- and perhaps more importantly fast-- internet connection (in college), I went looking for XF fanfic, and that was that. Hooked immediately. Also I shipped them A LOT so that's what I went looking for.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I tend to not go back to a fandom once I have a new fandom, so I wouldn't say I'm in it. I did hang around the edges for the revival, of course, because I wanted to experience that with the same people, but since the revival was mostly not that great (with a few exceptions), I didn't get pulled back into it. But I still think of the people I knew in the fandom a lot, and always hope they're doing well.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I've never left fandom, and I've been in a BUNCH: Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Bandom, Supernatural, now CQL/The Untamed and other Chinese-media fandoms, with many smaller ones in between or on the side. I feel like at their core fandoms tend to be similar, although where you host the fandom makes a big difference: Livejournal, tumblr, twitter. I think that because fandoms now tend to be bigger and more diverse (which is good) there tends to be more wank (which is bad). In some of them I was close to a group of people, some of them not. Honestly the best thing is when someone you know from an old fandom is in your new fandom. It's so much fun. I have really good friends thanks to fandom, and I've had them for YEARS. Like. 15 years.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I tend to focus more on ships than characters, but some of my all-time favs: Scully, Hermione, Sirius Black, Castiel, Lan Wangji, Xie Lian. That's just fandom-oriented ones, otherwise we'd be here all day. :D

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I don't often rewatch episodes any more, although if I come across an ep on tv I might. I definitely still think about them though! For example, I'm a teacher now, and just a couple weeks ago one of my colleagues mentioned he'd heard the students saying they shipped two of their classmates, and he was like "Ship? I don't get it" and I was like "HOO BOY, do I have a story for you!" And I explained how shipping came from XF fandom, and why. That was fun. I definitely still think about Mulder and Scully too-- I mean, they're cultural touchstones, so they do come up sometimes in greater pop culture. Also, I was in Hannibal fandom for a while, and Gillian Anderson is still The Best.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I haven't read XF fic in years, even the ones I remember as being really significant/important to me. I still have my all-time favs saved on an external HD though! Fic in another fandom- every day lol.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Blinded by White Light by DashaK has stuck with me. Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the Ruby-Throated Warbler by I forget I'm so sorry -- that's lasted as my ideal post-canon MSR and as an interesting and different way to tell a story. [Lilydale note: It’s by rah.] I was always thrilled to see fic by Brandon, JET, MaybeAmanda, Syntax6... and, frankly, everyone on the Scullyfic/ Emuse list. So many talented people in that fandom!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Things Outside, which is the only thing I've ever written based on a dream, and I'm really satisfied with it. It was hard to write but so much fun to revel in the weirdness. I always kind of wanted to write more because I know a lot more about the situation, but otoh, I like the open, ambiguous ending (usually I am very HEA).

In other fandoms, King & Country in bandom (MCR) and in Supernatural I'm very proud of Hope and Clay. I struggle to write casefics even though I love to read them, but that one really worked out.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I don't think I'll ever write something new. There is an old fic that may be done but it was smut so I was too shy to post it at the time. In theory if I find it and it's decent, I could post it!

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I do! I write fic very slowly, but I do write still! I have a million ideas for stories, but I'm so slow at the actual writing part.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I usually take a jumping-off point from canon, or of course, something I need to fix or expand on. Or sometimes I start telling myself a story as I fall asleep and the idea grabs me long enough I can manage to write it.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I was getting into fandom and realized people didn't use their real names. I flipped through my history book looking for inspiration, and decided tabula rasa was a great name for a writer. I tend to add an X because it's rare to get "tabularasa" as a username, and the X is indeed for X-Files (so I'm something like tabulaxrasa most places). I usually go by Tabula Rasa or Tab, though. And I still use it because 1) it IS a great name for a writer; and 2) it's not fandom-specific so I can keep it in every fandom.

I identify with it so much I have answered to this name in class (oops). I have a "Tab" t-shirt (as in the soda, but I have worn it to Comic-Con for ease of ID-- better than a nametag!). And my mom got me a necklace with a "tab" typewriter key as a charm, which I adore. Yes, I have accidental merch of myself.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

As you can tell from the above, my family knows (my family being my parents and sister). They are supportive! I think my mom read a couple stories? But obviously she has to know the fandom to get it... I got my sister into fic, and we even wrote a couple fics together (in Gundam Wing). She's a lot more selective about fandoms, but she's joined fandoms on her own, too. She's just not in one constantly, like me. :p

I tend not to tell not-online friends unless I have felt them out and know they're super fannish, or they bring it up first.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Most of my old fic is now on AO3 and I hang out on twitter a lot, @tabula_x_rasa

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I'm really glad people are still in this fandom! It will always be so important to me. Thank you Lilydale, for this nostalgia trip!

(Posted by Lilydale on March 30, 2021)

#old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #tabula rosa

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delphinidin4 · 3 years ago

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Somebody asked a question about valid readings of literature (I have a doctorate in literature and have taught it on the college level), and i had a migraine this morning, so i’m sorry if this comes out a little coherent, but i’mma post it anyway. here’s the thing i think people don’t always get about the study of literature:

1. there isn’t just one correct reading of anything in literature

2.the bar for something being a valid reading is significantly lower than you might think.

What constitutes a “valid reading” is ultimately a personal decision by the person reading the literary criticism: do you think the person do the criticism/analysis made their case? If so, their reading could be considered “valid”, even if you don’t personally agree with it. If not, their reading might not be considered “valid”, even if you think they have interesting points. The point in writing literary analysis/criticism is to make your case well enough that people have to concede that your argument is valid even if they don’t really believe it themselves.

For instance, there are elaborate analyses of books done in Freudian analysis: taking one of Freud’s psychological theories and applying it to the work of literature. You might think Freud’s psychological theories are bullshit, in which case you might hate/disbelieve those literary readings, but if they hold together well enough, they might be considered valid.

this is also where “death of the author” comes in. because you can never truly prove exactly what the author meant to do/say with their literature, even if they tell you so! Poe wrote an essay on his writing technique, in which he claimed that when writing The Raven he started out with the bird being a parrot and then decided a raven would be more metal and better in keeping with the tone of the poem. And a huge number of literary scholars (including myself) think Poe was probably talking out of his ass there, and just knew/learned that ravens could be taught to speak, and was like, “Hey, that gives me an idea for a HELLA gothic poem,” and went and wrote it. And then later folks were like, “prove to us that you’re a REAL writer? What’s your method?” and poe was like, “Oh yes, I think everything through very clearly and rationally” rather than tellign the truth and being like, “this sounded rad so i wrote it that way because of feels.”

Also, sometimes people will write something that, for instance, reveals their subconscious beliefs about race. They might not realize when they’re writing it that their writing does that, but other people can point it out later, and that can be a valid reading. Sometimes the author doesn’t recognize the ways in which their unconscious beliefs and prejudices manifest themselves in their work. And in those readings, it really doesn’t matter what the author meant: it just matters what the work SAYS. Or might be read to say.

There’s also the fact that we can never truly get inside the heads of the original audience of a work once enough time has passed. it’s great to learn something about, say, Elizabethan English culture and use that to make a reading of something Shakespeare said, and those can be totally valid (and very interesting!) readings. but at the same time, one of shakespeare’s plays is going to feel completely different to a modern audience than it did to an audience at the time. For instance, changing attitudes toward race and rape and sexual equality can really change the way we read a work that’s only a couple of decades old. A reading can explain the way the original audience might have read it, or the way we read it now, or both. All of those can be valid readings, as long as it takes things like changing audience into account (for instance, if there’s a concept that’s brand new in world thought, and you’re trying to apply it to a four-hundred-year-old piece of literature, you should probably mention somewhere in your analysis that people didn’t think this way at the time the work was written. Soemtimes you can get away with not saying these disclaimers directly; other times you need ot make them. No hard and fast rules.)

In order to make a valid reading, you should make sure that you have lots of evidence from a text to back up your reading. If possible, you can support your reading with outside sources (explanations of historical cultural beliefs, for instance). You can base your reading on a theoretical framework (eg Freudian literary theory, Marxist literary theory, feminist literary theory). If your argument holds together, doesn’t have huge holes in it, and satisfies your readers, they may declare it a valid reading.

an example:

on the surface, Romeo and Juliet can be read as a dramatic tragic piece, made to move the audience, who hopefully may be identifying with romeo and/or juliet. the story is sad, we’re sad for them, we enjoy having a good cry and the catharsis that comes with it. that’s a pretty basic interpretation.

i’ve seen another interpretation, from John Greene on Youtube, that argues that Shakespeare set the play in Italy because the English at the time considered Italians to be hot-headed and vengeful and they’d never believe a revenge plot of this kind if it were set in England. And also that Romeo and Juliet were made to be teenagers in the story because only teengers would do something this insane for love, because teenage emotions are extremely heightened, and that part of the reason this is a tragedy is because NONE of this had to happen if somebody who wasn’t a teenager (or apparently wasn’t Italian lol) had stepped in and managed to impart some reason to everybody.

Both of these reading are totally valid. Both of them can also co-exist: they can both be correct at once. I can be feeling bad for romeo and juliet and be sad for them, and at the same time, part of my brain can be like, “Holy Fuck, Friar Lawrence, what the fucking fuck made you think that was good advice??!! also, kids, stop what you’re doing for five seconds and remember that you’re fifteen and thirteen and the world isn’t ending i promise.” Not only are these both valid readings, they can both be valid at once. they are not mutually exclusive.

My post-migraine brain doesn’t know whether any of this made sense or not, and honestly, part of the problem is that there are no hard-and-fast rules about literary analysis. but i hope that helped?

#literature #literary analysis #literary criticism #i just had to go back and edit this #because i realized the post literally ended in the middle of a sentence #migraine-brain is a thing

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loosesodamarble · 3 years ago

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Erikaaa congrats on 200 thats such an amazing milestone and I’m so proud of you 😁💕! Its a very well deserved milestone!

I almost couldn’t decide on an OC or which choice I wanted to do lol 😅. I had to use a name wheel to make the decisions for me 😂. But it decided on Alistar and reactions yay hehe! So I’d like to hear your thoughts (maybe even an OC or two if you’d like, if not no worries 🥰!) on Alistar. If you need more info on his background let me know 😁! Thanks again and congrats on your milestone 🥳🥳!

https://lyranova.tumblr.com/post/649605130318151680/alistar

Oh boy! Time to get myself introduced to Alistar Vangeance!

Alistar's profile is rather minimal. But perhaps that's because of the lack of a backstory, because that usually inflates a profile by... a lot. I would know.

It's nice to see that Alistar's magic comes from his father in part. Although, I really don't know how World Tree Magic is distinct from regular Tree Magic. And that kind of applies to World Plant Magic too. Just... plants and trees are everywhere?

Alistar looks like a handsome young man. Kinda standard pretty boy-esque. He could be the Yuno of his generation, looks wise. Also, I think William's hair could be described as short, white, and messy. What's the deal with describing it like his mother's?/lh (Then again, William's hair only looks like a mess with the hairline and I bet wearing his helmet-mask thing doesn't help.) Come on, Lyra, give William some credit for Alistar's appearance./j

Moving on, even though Alistar is taller than me, I am compelled to pat his head and squish his cheeks. My mom friend/mom instincts tell me to do so. Sweet, parental friends that look out for the group are just the absolute best, that's why! I find it endearing in characters who have admirers but are shy about it because I can be that way too. I can't write those characters myself but seeing others have them is nice. I wonder just how mischievous Alistar is. Is he bold enough to try pranking nobles who need to be brought down a peg? Or is he a bit more sly and prefers messing with people through playing the game of society?

CURSE YOU UNKNOWN BACKGROUND! I WANT THE LORE!/lh

I gotta wonder what kind of incident caused his fear of birds. I have a sister who fears birds and I just wonder "what did they do to you?" Also, the detail about liking spider lilies feels like a red flag. Spider lilies are connected to death in Japanese culture and his mother is dead so... Just wondering if that was intentional or if I'm making connections based on nothing.

Overall, Alistar seems a very nice character. A lot of the things about him make sense as being the son of William. Being friends with a child of Yami makes sense since the two can't not be connected somehow. Never imagined that the child of William and the child of Zora could be friends but it exists now!

I really would like to learn more about him because that giant unknown in his profile left me wanting more lore!

#questions from the ask box #soda's 200 follower special #my friends ocs #lyranova's oc #black clover oc #alistar vangeance #lyra of the future #lyranova #friends #great now i'm thinking about next gen children for my ocs #kajhgariulkjsg! i can't think of that right now!#note to self: read 'children of the future'#seriously me i need to read my friends' fics!

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purplesurveys · 3 years ago

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1277

Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? Ooooh moving forward, probably Angela hahahaha I have no idea how I’d break it to her if ever I do start seeing somebody again. She’s well aware of all the shit that I let slide so she might get intense with the scrutineering.

What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? Just the fact that I feel on top of the world these days. My days of being depressed and picking at my insecurities seem to be far behind me and the change has looked to be apparent coming from friends who’ve told me I seem happier, louder these days.

What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? To not be scared to fight harder for the things you believe in or what make up your identity, coming from having to hide a same-sex relationship during that period. That feeling of being constricted and having to hide to stay on some conservative seniors’ good graces really pissed me off so high school was really crucial in letting me discover just how much I’d be willing to fight and test the waters to be able to live as me.

Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? Hmm no, not really. If anything my job is one of the things that helped make me a lot livelier and happier.

Do you have a “one who got away”? It felt that way at the start when my view was still skewed, but it didn’t take long until I realized she was not a loss at all.

If you were in a superhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Hero.

If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened? Mice or rats are the literal worst fucking thing I could see in my house. I definitely see myself making a big deal out of it lmao, especially rats.

Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks? Nobody ever taught me, so no.

Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? Nah, which kinda makes me feel ashamed because considering it was a Filipino who invented the modern yo-yo, I feel like it should be my responsibility to know a few tricks LOL.

What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without? Instant messenger.

Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not? Starting high school. Before that I was living in our family’s duplex, so my grandma could make packed meals for all of us – not to mention the fact that my parents were also still on their way to establishing themselves at their respective workplaces so we weren’t all that well-off yet.

When we moved into our own place, we started with my mom making our meals but eventually it just proved to be time-consuming and a lot of work considering she also had a job to go to. With that and the fact that both my parents at that point already got a couple of promotions, we switched to allowance.

Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why? Amusement parks though I would only probably head to the safer rides and food stalls with all the deep-fried offerings haha. I cannot handle more intense rides. On the other hand, water parks have always sounded nasty to me.

What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play? Piano.

What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something? The stupid LTO, because you can never count on government agencies to be efficient. Technically my whole time in there took a couple of stages, but all in all I spent eight hours there.

What is something that you would like to learn more about? Korean. I just graduated from my Basic Korean 1 class but I already have plans to enroll in the following course, since I seemed to do well and I want to keep the momentum going.

What is something that one of your family member collects? Mom has a large collection of chef-themed figurines and other sorts of trinkets like a chef timer, shot glasses, etc - but mostly the figurines - that she has displayed in a glass case. I should keep that in mind for when I start Christmas shopping, actually...she hasn’t updated that collection in a long time. Thanks for the idea!

Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel? No, not in the middle of the same period since I went to the same school from kinder to high school for 14 years. I only “moved” when I started college. Like I’ve said in previous surveys, it felt freeing to finally not under be the hands of an environment ran by...well, Catholics. It was a culture shock to see rallies everywhere, to find out I could wear short shorts or even go to school naked if I wanted to, and to see boys in my class (I went to an all-girls), but it was all the good kind of shock.

Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? Always, because I never wrote them down.

Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why? I experience neither season.

Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Typhoon.

If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Melanie Hamilton from Gone with the World.

What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city? I rarely see foreigners here since my area isn’t particularly known for tourism; most go to the island provinces like Cebu, Aklan, Palawan, etc. If I had to recommend spots here, I’d tell them to go for Pinto and maybe the rooftop bars that offer a view of Manila’s skyline.

What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult? Chicken curry, which I used to dread.

Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? I guess the wings just because I feel like it’s the only practical one.

What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed? I don’t think that way about animals I can’t keep as pets anyway.

What are some things that you do to make the world a better place? I always clean up at restaurants (my mom doesn’t understand why I do it because “the servers are here for a reason, Robyn”) but I always see the relief on their faces when they see I’ve stacked up the plates and cups so I don’t see a reason to stop doing it. I keep the door open for people who happen to enter/exit a building the same time as me, share dog adoption posts, don’t make a fuss about or towards a shop staff who messes up...things like that. I hope it’s able to help, even if just in a small way.

Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you? I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has already.

What’s your favorite store at your mall? We have several malls within the vicinity but I like frequenting NCAT.

Have you ever done a workout DVD? No but my mom is fond of those.

Who usually takes out the trash in your family? Either of my parents.

What song are you currently obsessed with? My Universe is soooooo good. It’s Coldplay’s classic sound but they somehow managed to perfectly blend in BTS’ style as well, so I love how it turned out.

When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? I've never gone fishing.

Do you take any prescription meds? Nope.

What happens if you don’t take them? Who was the last person you dreamt about? My dad.

Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened? Sweetened, though I don’t usually actively look for iced tea. I’d have it if it was served, but I don’t typically order it for myself.

How often do you honk your horn? As long as I am annoyed, which gives my mom a mini heart attack every time because she insists I just let people have their way to avoid getting into fights. Sometimes when she’s driving and someone’s being stupid on the road I lurch forward to do the honking for her and it pisses her off soooooooooo much but it also gets the job done so *shrug*

Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? I don’t.

Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What? TMI but I almost got caught doing the m-word once but my reflexes were at lightning speed that day so when my door opened I was able to fix myself up and appear as though nothing was happening lol. My mom also saw a hickey on me once but I was able to veer the conversation away when she started inquiring.

Did you get babysat a lot as a kid? No, I did the babysitting.

If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually deal with teachers who mistreat or make issues towards their students. I had several teachers I know didn’t like me but I could never do anything about it because there was no way in hell the school was going to take my side.

Are you doing anything fun tomorrow? Continued from yesterday. If I took this question yesterday to refer to today I would’ve answered yes because we actually have a really fun PR stunt scheduled for execution today, wherein we get to sponsor someone’s whole wedding from food to flowers to the host and fillm crew :D :D But tomorrow is just Monday so the real answer to this is no.

What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift? I dunno the usual housewarming gifts, but I would appreciate anything practical, or anything that you’ll need at the least expected times, like batteries or even like Sticky Tack.

How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty? Oooh I was an early bird – I was 9 when I could first tell my first period was on its way; it came a month after I turned 10.

What is your least favorite holiday, and why? I don’t dislike any holiday because they all mean a day off work lol.

What were some outdoor games you played as a child? We usually played piko (hopscotch), our local version of freeze tag that we dubbed “Ice ice water” for whatever reason, and a garter game that we call 10-20. Dodgeball was a favorite during recess and lunch, too.

Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? That’s not observed here, but my mom did use to take me and my siblings to her first workplace. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out? They’re actually more interesting to me than anything else. I like learning about the different lives of many different people, even if I only technically know them by their birthday and date of death. Sometimes the inscriptions would be more detailed and tell more about their life, sometimes I’d come across babies who only lived a few days...and it’s just interesting to have those glimpses into life.

Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about? Filipino, because Western colonization destroyed proof of most of it.

Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory? Long.

What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe. I cried this morning. Nothing bad or heavy, I just found myself thinking again about my mental state last year.

Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter? Anything that wouldn’t hesitate to tear my limbs apart.

Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc) No.

Has anyone close to you ever gone to war? No. The closest link I have to the military, other than my dead great-grandfather, is Angela’s uncle who’s like a general or like a colonel or something, idk titles.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? Yeah, occasionally. Pressure in the ear is a bigger nuisance to me, though.

Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? The last time I saw my grandfather. My only clear memory of him that day was stepping out of the house to leave (my mom and I were visiting) and him sending me off with the message to always be kind and good. If I had known I would never see him again, I never would’ve left.

Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? Hmm no, not that I can recall.

If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? I’d go to Hans for certain advice, but not for every single situation. He’s the only person that comes to mind.

What was the last new food/drink that you tried? So last Wednesday I finally got to try this Instagram-based doughnut shop that I’ve been eyeing since August and it turned out to be even MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTEDDDDDD. Like yeah their photos were always mouthwatering but I didn’t expect it to taste as good as it looks, since most pretty food I’ve encountered usually end up just tasting meh. Anywho, I got two orders of their sampler box and they served me their specialty bacon doughnut, signature brown butter, and a bunch of their chocolate and peanut butter variants and I loved every single fucking thing.

Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? Oh it’s hard to tell, it’s only 9:05 AM. Both days might be uneventful, though.

Have you ever played Sudoku? I don’t actually get how to play it hahaha. I feel like I’m too stupid for sudoku.

Do you ever take surveys for money? I tried it last year when applying for jobs was still a bitch for me, but the thing is most of those surveys look for employed participants so there was rarely ever a survey that fit me anyway.

Do you like Barbie or Bratz better? Bratz.

Do you prefer purple or green grapes? I don’t like grapes.

Who was the last person that made you laugh? Idk, probs one of the boys since I was watching videos of them earlier today.

Where does your best friend live? A nearby city.

Who did you last confide in? Angela.

Does your car have an alarm? Sure.

Where was your mom born? Somewhere in Metro Manila.

What can always make you feel better no matter what? My dogs.

What is something you’ll never eat again? Why? I don’t think there is anything. I feel like I’m always bound to retry things and that I would be open to doing so, even fruits. One thing I’m firm about never drinking again, though, is coconut water. Get that SHIT away from me.

What is currently happening that is scaring you? I’m not feeling scared these days.

Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? Probably. But nothing sticks out.

#survey #surveys

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painted-crow · 4 years ago

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Hello. Can I ask you to give an example of your bird primary analizing and thinking, and changing it's mind and rethinking it's system about something? When you'll have time of course.

Overwork

I used to fall into the trap of glorifying overwork.

The various communities I belonged to as a teenager had this tendency to hold exhaustion as a status symbol. The general base of the idea was that if you were really dedicated and pushed yourself to your limits (read: long, long past your limits) then you could accomplish incredible things. It's usually flavored with individualistic ideals of achievement, and holds a very specific type of goal in high regard. It's also very American.

As a teenager, I really wanted to be an entrepreneur. I was going to start a startup, code some kind of app that would do something pretty basic in a really well designed way, and everyone would end up using it. I hyperfocus on things I'm interested in, and I thought if I could harness that, I might be able to have a stable income doing something cool and inventive.

This isn't an inherently bad idea. It's just that the startup world, the tech world, the local culture in my area, and the national culture of America all send a very focused message that working yourself to burnout is very cool and dedicated and great.

I'm not entirely sure how I came to challenge that. Partly it was experience. When I was 18, I took a full college class load alongside an internship (with a company that had a toxic culture... it was exhausting on its own tbh) and ended up unable to focus during class and too tired to get anything done while at home. I ended up dropping one or two of my classes (I can't remember; possibly one of them was that one with the online professor who went MIA so it was effectively dropped for me).

Then I wound up learning a working knowledge of PHP and doing 75% of the semester's work for one of the classes I kept... all in four days. I passed the class. In fact, my professor knew what I was doing and why (he was one of the few people who suggested that maybe I shouldn't be burning the candle at both ends like that), and although I'd carefully calculated how much I needed to do in order to pass and done that, he fudged it somehow and gave me an A.

But I think a large part of what changed my mind was my mom trying to tell me that what I was doing was batshit insane. I don't know if she ever challenged me directly on this point (possibly she did and I brushed it off because: teenager) but every time I decided to step back from what I was doing and cool down, she supported me. She wouldn't let me beat myself up for not achieving ridiculous goals. She reminded me that I always think I'm doing worse than I actually am; I'm very self-critical and have a long track record of perfectionism.

Eventually I think the tipping point was figuring out that sometimes depression keeps me from doing stuff, and that I can't just smash my way through by brute force when I'm already burned out. I can't blame myself for not being able to do what all the other burned-out college students seem to be doing all the time, because actually they were all doing exactly the same thing I was.

And I think eventually I extrapolated this to: "...maybe you don't need to wait until you're deeply depressed and burned out before you stop blaming yourself for having limits or pinning your self worth on productivity?"

Really. No shit, Sherlock.

Note

This is an example that actually took years before I recognized it and changed it. The cultural prevalence made it very hard to identify and articulate, which is why it hung around unchallenged for so long. I'd like to be able to give less extreme examples, but the thing is that I don't really remember them! I have a very shitty memory for certain categories of things, and "stuff I decided wasn't true" is one of them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Plus, more minor parts of your system, the parts that change most, are kind of invisible to you until they come up (because you're either exposed to relevant information that's reminding you of them, or you're making a decision that involves that belief) and you're actively thinking about them. They're always there, your active memory just doesn't really have, like... object permanence for them lol.

Or if you do remember, then a lot of the time the change isn't very dramatic.

Oh. I just thought of an example of this, actually.

A less extreme example, about pollution

You know how people are like "drinking straws specifically are evil! Save the turtles! Outlaw plastic straws!" And at first I was like, huh, if this is that big of a deal then maybe they have a point.

But then I started to feel like it's a weirdly narrow thing to focus on. If you have the activation energy to campaign against drinking straws, why not instead campaign against the fact that many American cities have very limited recycling programs?

When I lived in an apartment, if I wanted to recycle trash, I had to put it in my car and drive it across town to the recycling plant. Doing means I have to drive my car and add whatever pollution it's putting out into the air. You're trading one type of pollution for another, and it's a cost to me in time and money. Eventually I just gave up and threw away anything that wasn't big enough to merit the effort.

And then I learned that actually, most pollution comes from corporations, and the focus on consumers is probably just to distract us from regulating industrial waste properly by making us feel guilty, and also to get us to buy "eco friendly" products like metal drinking straws (which, btw, take more energy to manufacture and break down a lot more slowly even than plastic).

So, sure. Ditch your drinking straws if you want, definitely don't buy those shower soaps with the stupid plastic microbeads in them, but don't get distracted shaming each other for tiny things when we have bigger fish to fry.

This is how most system changes go down: "I thought about some stuff and learned some stuff and changed my mind." It's not usually a big deal. Sometimes it is, but this low-level stuff is way more common and you don't even usually notice it as it's happening.

#ravenclaw primary #sortinghatchats #paint speaks #asks

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sledgefuweek · 5 years ago

Text

Hi everyone! As we mentioned a couple days ago, Lea and I thought it’d be helpful for everyone if we made an informational post about the prompts for Sledgefu Week, just in case people were either confused about the prompt itself or maybe looking for some inspo!

Here is the AU prompt list: I’ll pop it under a read-more just to save your dashboards, but do go ahead and check it out! And as always, any questions or comments you may have, our inbox is always open :~)

PIRATE AU

Pretty self-explanatory, and a really popular suggestion on the google form that came before the poll, so I’ll assume most of you have a pretty good idea of what makes a pirate AU! This is a fun prompt to pair up with other ‘ocean’ themed prompts, I’m thinking of sirens, mermaids, sea monsters, however many tentacles you want to introduce into this thing. I think Pirate AU can encompass all of those, plus all the various different degrees of piracy that can be had, ranging from the big bad Captain Hook style of piracy down to something a little more Treasure Planet... the AU doesn’t stipulate anywhere that it has to be on land/water after all ;~) My favourite childhood pirates were the sky pirates from the Edge Chronicles series! Really, the only limit with this prompt is your own imagination, feel free to push the envelope!

SOUTHERN GOTHIC

This is one that I’ve seen a few people be curious about, and honestly as was I! Maybe if you’re American you may have a better understanding of what makes a Southern Gothic story different from a conventional (European) Gothic novel, but I know a lot of people here aren’t American, including myself and Lea, so! I did a little research (but if any of this doesn’t quite ring true to what Southern Gothic is, don’t hesitate to correct me! There’s only so much the internet can tell me haha). It’s my understanding that where Euro Gothic is more heavily rooted in the fantastic, Southern Gothic tends towards magical realism instead. It’s more heavily entrenched into the culture of the South than Euro Gothic is necessarily about European culture. Its essentially preoccupied with examining the values of the American south, so it’s important to exercise some sensitivity and care with some of the themes which can come up when looking at the history of the south; namely racism, and slavery -- for obvious reasons. There are plenty other ways to approach Southern Gothic without making comment on these aspects of the genre if you aren’t appropriately knowledgeable about them... the genre stems from European Gothic after all, which means that although it is focused on the south, it is also characterised by explorations of madness, fear of the outside world, decay and despair, the impact of the past on the present, and events stemming from or relating to poverty, crime, alienation, or violence. It has an absolute wealth of generic characteristics that, once combined with the magical realism that is unique to Southern Gothic, can be really fun to play with. Think Wuthering Heights, you know?

VAMPIRE AU

Another pretty classic one, and an AU that I think warrants very little explanation. I think the fun in Vampire AUs is in making it new -- there are SO many various vampire stories out there, what do you want to do with yours? Draw from popular culture, draw from history, draw from your own imagination... just as with the pirate AU, there’s really no limit to where you can take this prompt. Imagine the impact of an all-vampire company in a canonverse story! Or how would a newly-turned vampire navigate his new condition in the modern world? Plus, the whole immortality thing really lends itself to some great slow burn opportunities here. Or, hey, Twilight AU?

PARANORMAL AU

Okay, so: I know now that this looks similar to our Supernatural AU from last year, at a glance. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like they’re two very distinct prompts! It’s always been my understanding that supernatural is monsters: werewolves, witches, etc. whereas paranormal means ghosts, and aliens? Either way, if you already have an idea planned for this that tends towards the werewolf rather than the ghost, don’t worry about it. However this is the time where the angst can come in... I feel like The Pacific is kind of a perfect piece of source material to base a ghostfic on -- not to be morbid but well, you know. And of course, it isn’t limited to one of the characters being a ghost -- as I said, my understanding of ‘paranormal’ always encompassed ghosts, but also aliens, and cryptozoology. Now, wouldn’t Eugene being so interested in birds translate nicely into cryptozoology? Wouldn’t Snafu, being the paranoid legend that he is, quite possibly be into weird internet forums about aliens? You can interpret the prompt as loosely or as closely as you like :~)

COFFEE SHOP AU

I feel like I don’t need to explain this. Do I? Are coffee shop AUs still as popular as they used to be? The real challenge of a coffee shop AU is actually this: how will you make the employee of the coffee shop feel anything less than distain for the customer that is the would-be love interest? Fellow customer service workers know exactly what I mean. (But for real, this can be a fun prompt despite how oftentimes overworked it can seem, and that’s because it leaves a lot of room for creativity. Is your character a poet doing a reading at a local coffee house, catching the eye of the person in the audience? Are they a musician, a stressed-out student, a caffeine-hater who is gritting their teeth after every sip just for a chance to speak to the cute barista? There’s tons of options, and I’m excited to see where people go with it.)

GHIBLI AU

So this is quite simply an opportunity to write an AU for any Ghibli movie of your choice! It’s actually my prompt (I was super happy to see it make it up there in the polls!) so I can explain why it’s nice and vague :~) I didn’t like the thought of having to limit every single person who wanted to contribute to the ship week to a specific AU for a specific Ghibli movie: they have such a huge catalogue of movies, and everyone seems to have their own particular favourite! So basically, you have the freedom to pick from any movie made by Ghibli to turn into an AU here. And these AUs can be as close to the source or as far away from it as you like. Want to write Gene and Snaf as background characters ordering bread from Kiki? You got it. Want to have them fighting in the war that features in Howl’s Moving Castle? Your mind. It’s completely up to you! And if you’re not familiar with Ghibli movies, you’re gonna have a great time if you do decide to watch a couple :~) They’re all on Netflix in the UK, but can’t speak for other countries sadly.

ENEMIES TO LOVERS

A time-honoured classic. Who hasn’t read an enemies to lovers AU? If you haven’t, and you’re unfamiliar with the concept, it’s pretty self explanatory! It’s pretty much about two characters who have an oftentimes very long history of conflict with each other, (though the ‘long’ part doesn’t really matter much) that eventually resolves into, well, love! The enemy relationship gets swapped for a romantic relationship. I always associate this prompt with slow burn fic too -- it’s always so good if it’s a gradual descent into affection. Now, this is a very broad prompt, which means it can be applied really nicely on top of other AUs! Just glancing at the list here, you wanna write a centuries long Vampire AU where they start out enemies and become lovers? Go for it!! It’s easily one that can be made unique and really fun by applying it to other AUs if you want to. I always think of Spy AUs or things within that genre too!

MYTH AU

This is another pretty broad one that I think covers a lot of bases, simply because there are SO many myths out there lol. If your culture has specific myths, this’d be a really nice time to get creative with them and also let people learn a little more about myths they might not know! There’s also obviously a ton of myths centralised around the American south so that would be fitting for both characters, but don’t be afraid to branch out! Really, you can apply this to any kind of folklore you want, and it’d be perfect! Obviously Greek myths are super popular and always cool too -- imagine an Achilles/Patroclus AU! But I think what makes this prompt really nice is tha it leaves you some room to actually have a go at making your own mythic tale up. So fall back on the real myths that kinda build up our world, but if you’re feeling really creative, take a stab at crafting your own!

#sledgefu week

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inmyarmswrappedin · 5 years ago

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Thoughts on each even, you don’t have to answer. You just have some of the better skam opinions on this site.

Hi 🤩💫 First off, flattery will get you absolutely everywhere with me, anon, thank you so much haha.

I took a few days to think about how best to answer this ask because most of the Evens don’t feel so different to me that I could think of many things to say about each one. But then I thought I’d approach the Evens through their art style.

I was a bit of an Even in high school— liked 90s hip hop, fell in love a lot, was a bit of a dreamer and a romantic, doodled and tried my hand at different art projects with mixed results, etc. So in talking about the Evens, I’m also going to talk a bit about myself if you don’t mind!

I’m also not going to rank them this time, let me know if you want me to rank them (or to rank anything else about Skams, idc).

Even - I like Even’s drawing style and I feel it suits him very well. He never had an insta, but Isak’s season banner features a good amount of his drawings, plus the ones we saw on the show. He’s obviously influenced by American hip hop and comic culture, what with the COOLCAT, the weed, the crown, the diamonds… and the dicks. I’m very fond of Even’s Illuminati eye surrounded by boners, lol. It really feels like the kind of things a boy like Even (who loves Romeo + Juliet and Pretty Woman and Gabrielle, but also Nas and Lars von Trier and Stjerner uden hjerner and FIFA) would draw. I like that Even felt inspired by his conversations with Isak and pushed through his own fears to make art directly referencing things Isak said. Even felt scared by the possibility of parallel universes, but in order to show Isak how much he cared, his drawings for Isak all referenced parallel universes. I also like that Even’s art style is not stereotypically cute. It reminds me of the borderline gross style of Daniel Clowes and Peter Bagge.

Niccolò - Okay, so at this point I think we’re all aware that Skam Italia didn’t even have the budget for insta content, and they clearly didn’t have the budget to hire an artist specifically to create Niccolò’s art. He does have lots of drawings in his room, but then he doesn’t really draw anything for Martino? It feels like Niccolò is more of an arts and crafts kind of person, at least to me. Anyway I like that (aside from the red string of fate, which never got a follow up of any kind) the stuff Niccolò makes for Martino all reference Last Man on Earth, the TV show they bond over, in one way or another. The show is really not what I would call epic romance material, which I feel works for them tbh!

Eliott - My thing with both Eliott’s furry thing and Polaris, is that both seem really cute, but ultimately like… they didn’t mine either thing for all it was worth, I guess I would put it. Also, in comparison to other Evens, Eliott’s thing is almost developed (Eliott is after all a fictional character, not a real person) in order to elicit maximum cooing from its audience. Like, no one would say the illuminati boners or Last Man on Earth are objectively cute, not out of context! (And I’m far from a Skam Italia fan, I’m just saying.) But the hedgehog and the raccoon and the cat are all drawn in a very cute style. It feels a little too saccharine sweet for a 18-year old. However, Maxence not looking like a 18-year old might also play a part in my hesitance, because as a 18-year old I legit drew a full on comic about me and my then crush as superheroes fighting against our teachers in order to conquer college admittance tests together. (Like I said, Even and I have some shit in common lol.) And I drew my crush as a cat because he looked like a cat to me. So where the hell do I get off criticizing Eliott, y’know? As for Polaris, it’s like… Okay, so one is afraid of the light and one is afraid of the dark, and they meet and kiss right outside the cave, what else? It’s like, it’s cute and romantic, right, but not very developed as a season long motif.

David - I mean, do I have to say it? I love David and everything about him. I love that he has different art styles and uses different tools, it’s very realistic for someone his age still trying to find what his specific thing is. I love his sketches and his collages and the fact that he has a vampire persona that he draws in thicker lines. I love that he didn’t initially have an insta, and that he only got it because Sara and Leonie needled him about it, and I love that he didn’t post selfies or pictures of himself until he went through his character development. I love that his vampire persona crap is only for Matteo and he doesn’t post those cartoons on his very serious, very aesthetic insta. I love that his vampire persona looks similar to the Magdalene Hanke-Basfeld illustrations for the Angela Sommer-Bodenburg “The Little Vampire” book series. (I have no idea whether it’s intentional/an homage or just me seeing things where I wanna see them, but I loooove it.) I love that his first posts on insta really just seem kind of random (aside from the bird taking flight ofc) and like they don’t have a connection to the s3 storyline, it’s as if David really existed and made art and had ideas and thoughts before he met Matteo. I get such a kick of David’s sense of humor, like he seems kind of angry at the cliche of being barefoot on the beach and having a good time (ZUM KOTZEN!!!). Lol he’s just so delightful. I love that he can’t post a goddamn pic or video without a filter, oh no that’s simply not him!!!!1 And let me tell you about the time he made a highlights folder and named it Nights on Earth, I almost lost it on twitter I had such a great time. Anyway, David’s art and insta really scream that he’s a bit of a pretentious snob who corrects people on proper terminology and will only make cute things for the person he cares about the mostest AND NO ONE ELSE. PERIODT!

Joana - I’m a bit torn about Joana because I’m not into her more anime-esque stuff, but at the same time, god, if that isn’t me. I learned to draw by watching anime and trying to emulate the style, and because I’ve never really taken lessons, my cartoons just scream anime. I’m a bit embarrassed about it, because weeaboos and what not, and that extends to Joana as well lol. Before I revisited the Evens’ stuff for this ask, I had this idea in my mind that Joana’s art is a bit unrealistic because it seems too polished and professional for her character, but really, that’s just the piece that she in character made for the hospital/the BDP project. The stuff on the show and on her insta is actually believable as doodles or pieces she can put a bit more effort into, but aren’t like, art gallery-ready. I like that Joana started posting black and white doodles from graph paper notebooks (ftr this is the kind of notebooks most Spanish students use, lined or blank paper notebooks not so much), and started adding colors and creating more complex pieces as her relationship with Cris progressed. I think it says so much about Joana that the cartoons that represent her are always in some kind of pain, physical or emotional, but the cartoons that represent Cris (including the toads) are always cute, always happy, always desirable. Like, be more in love pls. I love that Joana is a bit of an edgelord, and uses a lot of imagery related to arrows, knives, tears/blood drops. That’s so accurate of girls like her. I love that the season banner has an actual to god vulva on it. Compared to other Evens, Joana seems more focused on drawing than anything else, so maybe that makes her video for Cris’ birthday not plausible, but on the other hand, I feel like Croana shippers could’ve used more cuteness in week 10, so you know what? Imma take that video, copypasta of “Gutten som ikke klarte å holde pusten under vann” as it is. I hope that Joana keeps posting art in s3 and s4, and so we get to see how her style develops. ✨

Sander - I haven’t really watched wtFOCK.

#skam #druck #skam españa #skam italia #skam france #ask #Anonymous #brain vomit

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