xxxyanxxx-blog

[k1tty5]

slab guy

[feline-evil]

Its da freaking new year baby

I mean it turned new year like 13 hours and thirty minutes ago for me i was just busy and didn't post here at the time. Anyways.

2023 has been A Lot for me! On one hand my wrist issues finally fully caught up to me and it's one of the first years i've not been able to draw as much during which has been. Very hard. It's been a year of health issues and my body kinda failing me in a lotta regards so it's not been great on that front. But it's also the first year i got to meet my boyfriend in person, twice!!! And realise how much more beautiful and kind and loving life can be, and how much i wanna survive onwards and upwards and do wicked gay shit with that man in future years, it's the year that being so loved has given me the courage to make BIG FUCKING RISKS and plan for BIG FUCKING CHALLENGES in upcoming years, and thats awesome. I couldn't be the man i have been this year without him, i really couldn't. I'm so grateful to finally have a partner and friends and love and gentleness, it is something that was so sorely missing in my life and it is something that's keeping me going even in the darker months.

It's also the year i took risks in other stuff too, which i never could've done without my bf's support, and now i've been able to work on so many things for The Hotel Podcast and thats fucking AWESOME?? I GET TO MAKE STUFF FOR THE SHOW I LOVE?? I did the artbook and we got to do the second calendar which ruuuuled, i made a postcard, i've done some other stuff ;), i made a 3d background and learnt some video editing for it; i've accomplished so much even against my body and wrist failing and i feel so so proud of that, and no matter how things go i wanna keep trying to do more. I feel like i'm finally showing what i can do. I hope people can see how much effort and will goes into what i do, i hope it pays off and that you enjoy it!

I wish i could say i left this year on a high note due to all that good that's happened to me and i mostly am absolutely. But in all honesty i also went to sleep last night filled with a palpable dread, this past week i realised someone close to me has, without getting into it to a degree i'm not willing to share online, gone down a pipeline to become a person i'm not comfortable with while i've been busy elsewhere. I went to bed knowing that either 2024 would have to be a year of potentially risky confrontation, of running, or of begrudgingly resigning myself to making sure i isolate anyone i care about away from. This. So thats a shadow hanging over me at the moment, and is one that has soured my week a little. I don't know what 2024 holds in regards to sorting this, it's a little scary.

I am going to be 27 this year, in February! And as i get closer and closer to thirty i realise that (while time isn't running out for me, for any of us) i really would like to move on into thriving rather than just surviving the years, and that part of that thriving needs to be transitioning and becoming independent from my parents. Of course the former is complicated due to the fact i am not able to be out to everyone in my life and even just starting the path to transitioning would out me and potentially destroy a part of my life that has been there for 26 years. There's also of course the fact i live in the uk and transitioning here is going to be a ten year waiting list if i'm even lucky and they deem me trans enough to transition l o l. So as you can imagine, thats complex and hard to figure out! On one hand i should start the process asap BECAUSE its such a long process here, but on the other hand i don't know how to handle my own safety and comfort in regards to being out to those i currently am not, and i'm not sure how my mental (and honestly physical) health would handle the fallout. The latter is complicated of course due to being broke, uneducated, physically and mentally unwell and a myriad of other factors; we don't live in a world where you can afford a home or to feed yourself anymore! So! Yknow!! Unlikely i'll be moving out anytime soon!

What i am doing at least is trying to thrive where i can, like dandelions growing in cracks the pavement may be unyielding to me at this moment but i can find the soft dirt inbetween; transitioning and independence may not be possible right now but i can continue to do my work and try to succeed there, i can make my room better for me (which i have done with finally getting a new bed after the one i had since i was a child grew no good), i can spend more time doing what i love out the house (visiting places, seeing my boyfriend, ect ect), and i can take what i can when i can. Maybe i'll try to learn to drive this year! I'm not sure i trust myself on the roads, but maybe i can learn to. And all of this is progress towards those final goals, even if i can't so much as step on the first rungs of the ladder towards them yet. I also take solace in knowing that for every dark cloud over me that makes my life feel so uncertain and hard to make it through there is incredible sunshine too; that even if the year is hard and cruel as they so often are i will still be loved i will still have friends and i will still get to smile. And that even if i can't accomplish big goals, a lot of small goals accomplished over many many bad years will build up, and one day i'll be free. And that's something.

My first hope for 2024 is THAT MY HEALTH GIVES ME A BREAK, NO MORE HEALTH SCARES PLEASE, and that perhaps i'll be able to even get some answer's and help for my physical health. My second is that my courage pays off and i succeed at flying alone for the first time to the states to be with my love! My third is that the year is kinder, and that i can make more art, maybe even regain some of the independence i had when my wrist was ok enough to let me do art as a job. My fourth is that i laugh a lot, and smile and have joyous moments with loved ones and indulge in what i love with unabashed and unashamed joy! And my fifth is that i get to do good for others, because even if i can't get out, even if i have to survive instead of thrive a little longer, i can at least try and help when i can.

Happy 2024, my chest hurts, my joints ache, but i'm still kicking and i will continue on forever. Bastards aren't getting free of me yet, i'm persistent. I haven't even ridden every rollercoaster in the UK yet.

[asherlockstudy]

How to do perfect staging: a lesson from Italy

I mentioned at some point I might actually make a post drooling over Italy's Måneskin performance and staging. I was kinda bored to be honest and decided against it but then all those trashy rumours that try to bring the winners down seemed so disgraceful and embarrassing to me that I decided again to do it. Now, the truth is that their performance was a little better in the semi-final introduction act. Perhaps this was due to the anxiety of the Grand Final. This is why I am going to use photos and gifs from that act and perhaps this will show to some that the perfect package might need a little bit of everything, and not just slap your language on the audience's ears with the expectation that this alone is always enough. *Did I make this too personal?*

Anyway, I digress. And I don’t mean that the Grand Final performance wasn’t still the best of the night, I just mean it wasn’t at the same God Tier level as the semifinal one.

Here's why the Italians took advantage of the Dutch stage until its very last millimeter and way more cleverly than any other country.

This is the only act that starts from the back of the stage, where the singer Damiano David waits for us alone.

Even with the rest of the 25 competing countries, this intro makes you forget that you are watching a contest with 26 countries as guests. Unlike anyone else, Italy looks like the host, like this place belongs to them and the frontman waits for you to show you around and possibly drag you to the world of Måneskin. In fact, you almost forget it’s Eurovision - this now looks like a Måneskin concert or, even better, a more private space of theirs with an ominous industrial feel. One of the most impactful things now is the lighting. Take a look at it. Almost all contestants throw all the lights on themselves or on some important prop they have prepared. The Italians are the only ones who chose to just light the stage itself. The simple white lights on the black stage give the impression of depth and it is the only act which shows emphatically the size of the stage. Why this? Well, we already established that in the first seconds the viewers feel they are in a new space belonging exclusively to Måneskin - the lights make us feel that their area is vast and dark and we are about to be drawn to its depths.

Damiano indeed guides us to the front as he sings, where the rest of the band are on the top of a platform. The other members won’t come down and join Damiano until he sings the appropriate verse “Buona sera, signore e signori” (=Good evening, ladies and gentlemen) and accompany it with a theatrical flamboyant bow (that feels very Italian). That’s when, technically introduced to the audience after the official greeting, bassist Victoria de Angelis and guitarist Thomas Raggi come off the platform and join Damiano.

There’s nothing excessive about the visual effects. Only the use of white lights that give the perception of depth and in the background the big shadows of the group’s silhouettes. They are in the front and they cast their shadows in the back; they create to you a feeling of being trapped by them but do you really want to escape?

When the second verse starts, Victoria and Thomas take the paths left and right of the stage and leave Damiano alone. They take even more advantage of the stage and in a typical classic rock band way. These two play with the side cameras but the focus is more on Damiano, whose verse sounds more like a tongue-twister. Since the cameras are rightfully on Damiano, I must now address the elephant in the room. Damiano is particularly attractive. In fact, the whole band is almost mind-bogglingly attractive and they clearly take a lot of care about how exactly they are going to look but Damiano, as the frontman, does especially so. So let’s talk about the outfit. They all have essentially the same outfit, however it is cut differently for each based on the person’s looks and personality. Isn’t it fantastic?

Damiano, who oozes confidence and sex appeal, has accordingly the most “provocative” outfit of the four. His chest and arms are bare so that his many tattoos can be seen. I’ll talk about the other outfits later as they all have their place in the... uh... white lights.

During the second chorus Victoria and Thomas return at the center and after the chorus it is time for the first solo; Victoria’s. The cameras are now on her but the lighting remains modest to accentuate the dark beat of her bass.

Victoria is the only girl of the group and the most dressed of them all - how refreshing! Her outfit is more similar to Thomas but she is buttoned up in the front. How does she wish to underscore her uniqueness as the woman of the band? But of course, with long flamboyant girly sleeves that come to delicious contrast with her aggressive stomping and her wide strides. Both her hairstyle and her outfit is inspired or basically just outright 70′s classic rock look.

It’s time for the bridge of the song right after her solo and Damiano has his attention on her and also draws the viewer’s attention to her some more. This part of the song is lower and softer - in relative terms - that’s why Damiano “chooses” her to sing it to. The lights now turn red, the intensity rises but there’s light flirtatiousness between them, with many smiles to each other and the camera that turns around them as they launch at each other playfully.

Then the song gets darker, more intense, the guitar stronger than the bass and Damiano’s voice turns to a scream. For this part, he turns to his bro, guitarist Thomas and he now draws the attention to him.

He grabs Thomas by the neck in an intense, intimate way (that doesn’t mean sexual, just intimate. His interaction with Victoria wasn’t sexual either). It is clear that through different ways Måneskin want to stress how good and close their relations are and that their singer, who is apparently a show stealer by birth, wants to ensure that they all get equal amount of attention from their audience. I love this.

True enough, nobody is left behind! The last chorus starts with a drums solo and Damiano goes up to the platform to now meet and introduce to us Ethan Torchio. Ethan stands up and his giant shadow is on the now blue background: this is the moment for the - so I hear - somewhat shy drummer to shine in his own aesthetic. The Italians leave none of their assets to fall down and Ethan’s impressive hair rightfully steals the show.

Just like Victoria and Thomas look alike, so do Ethan and Damiano, that’s why their costumes are the most similar. Ethan has a vest that covers him more than Damiano but leaves his arms bare. Because whose else the arms do you need to see if not the drummer’s?

This song has something peculiar because it was not a song originally written for Eurovision; it slows down in the end and  does not end on some impressive note from the singer as usual but with the last solo we expect, that of the guitarist, because everything is fair in Måneskin! The focus has to leave Damiano, so now it’s the time for the visual effects to finally catch fire, literally,  because nobody is allowed to take their eyes off them! Måneskin use a huge amount of pyro that however feels appropriate for the intense chorus and the ending guitar solo.

Thomas steps up for his solo and I forget we are in 2021. This is the most 70s thing I would ever hope to see.

In a hell of pyro, Thomas looks like he was tranferred right from a 70s rock ‘n roll concert. His outfit would be gladly taken by Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones. The unbuttoned jacket with this boho tie, such a classic 70s fashion touch. His haircut and even his FACE are the epitome of the 70s - what an ending sequence!

But hey we reached the end and this is Eurovision, the song slows down dangerously. Like I said, the Italians forbid us to get distracted. The attention must return to Damiano ASAP. Damiano says one last line and takes the audience with him to the very end with a death drop.

There you have it. Måneskin had me holding my breath for the full three minutes and I did not want to take my eyes off my TV. There are countless shows that are awesome - in this very Eurovision as well - but I was impressed by how they seemed to have found the perfect balance for everything in every single moment. They found the perfect stage concept for the song, they relied on visual effects only when they needed them and they stressed every twist and turn of their sound with a perfectly fitting move or interaction. They also all effortlessly could hold your attention and they made sure that they all would, with members often helping bring out other members. This performance was beautiful and, above all, clever which is why it was undoubtedly the worthiest of the win.  

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Am I a fool to think that there's a little hope - Part 4

This fic is growing yet I feel like I'm only writing a tiny bit at a time. Anyway I'm playing fast and loose with prison visiting here because Victoria has feelings and her brother needs to hear what an idiot he's been...Aaron's had his turn.

Robert's surprised but also he's not when the guard tells him he has a visitor the following afternoon. The rule is one visit a fortnight and he's got two in two days. He knows it's Vic even before he goes into the visiting room. He dreads to think what she's done to wangle another visit and decides he's probably better off not knowing.

Since Aaron left the day before he's done nothing but worry about what he'd said, about Liv, about the business and cursing himself for thinking Aaron would be better off. It sounded like it was anything but. He'd wanted to ask, wanted to know everything but Aaron couldn't get out of there fast enough.

He'd barely had chance to think about his case, if there was one, too focussed on Aaron, and he knew Victoria would be wanting answers, answers he just didn't have. He needed to talk to his solicitor. He'd asked for her to be contacted but nothing moved that fast in here, it'd take time for her to visit he knew that.

"Robert!" He smiles as she hugs him, gently pushing her away when one of the guards glares at him.

"Hi Vic. Are you alright? Aaron said you weren't up to much."

"Oh no, I'm fine now. Speaking of Aaron, what did you say to him, he was in a foul mood all night long."

"Never mind that." He can't stop smiling, her mood is infectious like that and he realises just how much he's missed her. "Just how did you manage to get another visit?"

"Oh...well I tried explaining that I'd been ill and when that didn't work I got on to your solicitor and...well she might've implied that it was a family emergency."

"Vic! You can’t do things like that."

"You would." He opens his mouth, then shuts it because she's not exactly wrong. "Anyway, it is. You could get out Rob! That's massive."

"Hold on, Aaron said it was a tiny chance, and besides, are you alright? Must've been a shock, Luke coming out like that and all this." He's stalling, he knows she wants him to jump for joy but he just doesn't have it in him.

"Oh I'm fine, I'm better off. You need to talk to your solicitor, and then we can get started on an appeal."

"Vic, slow down. I pleaded guilty, I took responsibility. Are you sure anyone's going to care?"

"I will, your nephew will." She paused. "Seb will."

"Don't." There wasn't a day went by without him thinking of his little boy, wondering what he'd be doing, if he was still cheeky, if he even knew who he was anymore. In his darker moments he imagined him calling Ross 'Daddy' and the three of them being the perfect happy family. "How is he?"

"I don't know. Rebecca's pretty much cut us all off. Diane managed to get to see him a few months back but she's heard nothing since. You know she stopped Aaron seeing him, not long after Christmas last year, right after the divorce papers arrived." He stares at her, wished she'd say it was a joke. He knew they hadn't had any kind of formal agreement but he'd never expected Rebecca to do that. She knew how much Seb loved Aaron. He was beginning to realise just how much he'd messed up, and Aaron had every reason to be mad at him.

"I've made such a mess. Is he...he said the business isn't good and Liv's in a mess." He reaches for her hand. "How is he really Vic?"

"Things are...difficult right now. We've not really been close the last few months, he had issues with Luke and Wendy and everything, and now I realise how much of an idiot I've been."

"It's not your fault, Vic."

"He's lonely. Even with..." She trails off and he knows she was going to mention a bloke, he's not stupid. He'd wanted this after all, he just hadn't realised just how much it would hurt.

"He's with someone?"

"Sort of, I think. Ben. He's alright, and they're...I don't think it's anything official, they're just hanging out, and Ben's helping with Liv. You can't be mad about it Rob."

"No I know. Hurts all the same."

"You might be my big brother but you're a proper idiot. Cutting him off like that, and me! What were you thinking?"

"I've been through all this with him, don't you start."

"I will start. You'll say it was for the best and that, but it wasn't. Not for me, and definitely not for Aaron. Neither of us care that it'd be a pain making the journey down here, or that it's for years. We love you, but you won't let us!"

He shakes his head, he knows she's right. He knows why, it's always been the same. Ever since he was sent away all those years ago, he just never feels as though people will stay with him, that they'll get fed up, that he's not worth it. So he gets in first, pushes them away, cheats, anything rather than be hurt.

"Vic, stop, please."

"No. You're my brother and I lost you before. Andy's gone, you're stuck here and it's just been me. I needed you, even if it was just a phone call or a letter. You've been all alone because you're stubborn."

"It was for the best. All of you should just get on with your lives and forget about me."

"Well tough, it doesn't work like that! You know, Aaron wasn't going to come with me, even though I asked, but he did because he wanted to see you despite everything. Left Ben to do it, what does that tell you?"

"That he's a good mate."

"No, that he misses you. First mention of you and he goes all Aaron, storming off and hiding away. He still loves you, you idiot." He shakes his head, doesn't want to believe it. He's managed to push all those thoughts aside and he doesn't want them coming back up again and torturing him.

"Didn't feel like that yesterday."

"Of course it doesn't. He thinks you don't want him. Honestly the two of you drive me mad. Look, say you do get out of here, wouldn't you want him back?"

"Of course I would, but he's with this Ben now."

"Pfft." He laughs a little and her face. "He'd take you back the second you walked in the village and you know it."

"Maybe once."

"You're so infuriating."

"So are you. I don't want to talk about Aaron anymore. Tell me what's been going on in the village." He let her chatter wash over him, too much going on in his head to even start to sort out. If he was lucky enough to get out, would he want to go back to the village where most of the residents didn't like him. He wasn't stupid he knew they tolerated him for Aaron. No doubt the Dingles hated his guts, and then there was Wendy. Maybe it'd be better all round if he just started afresh, or stayed where he was. He just didn't know what to do for the best. He needed time.

--------

Aaron throws his keys on the table, glad the house is quiet. He's exhausted. Vic had tried talking about Robert all the way home, so much so he'd contemplated getting the train home. Trying to tell him he still loved him, knew he'd been an idiot. He didn't care, no that was a lie, of course he did, but he was afraid to believe it. Besides what good would it do unless Robert changed his mind and let him back in.

He should call Ben, try and explain, try and make it up to him, except he really wasn't sure he wanted to anymore.

He's half asleep when his phone rings and he doesn't recognise the number.

"Hello?"

"Hi." The gasp sounds loud in the quiet room, the voice so familiar and so unexpected. "So, you married an idiot."

He can't help it, he starts laughing, hears Robert joining in and that's all there is for a good few minutes.

"I missed you." He doesn't say anything. "I know it's my fault, all of it and it shouldn't have taken my little sister pecking my head about it all afternoon, but...I'm sorry."

"I know. I missed you too." He feels the tension leave him, Robert always managed to do that.

"If I'm...Vic said, about Ben. If I'm...if you want me to go that's fine, I will, I just...I...wanted you to know."

"Yeah. Ben's...he's a mate." Not strictly true, but deep down he'd known it'd never be more than that, no matter how hard he tried. "I'm still mad at you."

"Yeah. Kinda mad at myself too. Listen, Vic said...about Rebecca stopping Seb visiting. I'm so sorry Aaron, I never thought she'd do that."

"Yeah well, I think she was just waiting for the chance. You know she never really liked me all that much." It hadn't mattered when Robert was there, he'd put up with it because as long as Seb was happy he didn't care.

"Still...if things go the right way, that's the first thing I'm changing."

"You're going to appeal then?"

"You have met Vic, right? As if she'd let me do anything else." He sighs and Aaron can hear a commotion in the background. "I've nothing to lose have I? If I lose I'm still in here the same amount of time. If I win then I get my life back, at least some of it."

"All of it." Robert pauses, and Aaron knows he's thinking he's misheard.

"Yeah?" His voice sounds just like it had so many times, when he couldn't quite believe what was happening.

"Yeah. I'm still mad as hell at you and we will be talking about you making stupid decisions all by yourself, but yeah...throughout our lives together, remember?"

"And if it takes a while? Or...if it doesn't work?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

They talk a bit longer, about nothing at all, just chatting like they used to and he realises just how much he's missed it. When they finally have to hang up he's smiling. He knew there was one more thing he had to do.

"Ben? It's me. Can you come over? We need to talk."

--------

It'd taken months, of legal wrangling, of trying to find Luke, months of visits to the Isle of Wight, of expecting every time to be turned away because Robert had changed his mind, but now it was the last time.

"Quit your pacing, you're making me dizzy."

"I can't help it. What if..."

"What if nothing. You heard the judge. He's free. He'd be here now if he'd been in court." He nodded, he knew that, but the restrictions still meant video appearances, so here they were waiting for all the paperwork to be finished before they could see Robert.

Vic had wanted to come with him, only Harry having a raging temperature had stopped her, so he'd asked Cain, the only member of his family who hadn't tried to talk him out of it all.

"Daddy coming?" He turned to see Seb poking his head out of the car window. Robert had somehow managed to convince Rebecca to restart their visits and he and Seb had been slowly getting to know each other again.

"Soon mate, promise."

"I'm hungry."

"I know. We'll get something as soon as he's here." Satisfied the little boy goes back to the game on Aaron's phone. "Do you think...is it wrong that I don't want to go back?"

"To Emmerdale? Why."

"You've seen what it's like. Mum, Paddy, everyone telling me what they think, how bad he is for me."

"Do you care what they think? You know the truth, they'll come round. If they don't, you've got your family Aaron. Your Mum's the one who'll lose out."

"I know. I just wish she'd try."

"Yeah well, she's stubborn. Just like him." Aaron follows his gaze, sees Robert standing outside the entrance to the prison, looking around, as if he can't quite believe he's out. "Go on then, go get your husband back."

He doesn't need telling twice, runs across the road, probably startling Robert as he throws his arms around him.

Everything would be alright now. He had Robert back.

[killerhatcanons]

Could u do a childhood friends hc with Trapper, The Shape and Ghostface?? 🥺🥺

Of course my friend! uwu

So we can imagine most of Michael‘s and Trapper‘s childhoods but I don’t think Danny has much of a background lore going as far soo I‘d personally also put him into a difficult household (even though I wish it were different) I also think I’ll put this one into a text form

TW: idek what to tag this with but I’m guessing abuse/domestic violence

The Trapper (Evan MacMillan)

Evan had always in a way idolized his father and his father had never deemed anyone worthy to get close to his son. Needless to say Evan didn’t have many friends at all when he was young. The other children were scared of his father and the stories their parents had told them about the MacMillan family. They were gruesome, as much as a parent would allow their child to hear but enough to ensure they would never want to get close to the MacMillan child.

You had always thought it was unfair. It wasn’t Evan’s fault that his dad was mean and you didn’t want him to sit alone over something he wasn’t responsible for. So you approached him and you kept approaching him even as he tried to push you away. He knew about the stories and he himself knew very well that his father wasn’t the kindest person. Time and time again had his father hit him for not following his orders, had thrown away his sketches and sent him to bed on an empty stomach as a punishment. He understood why others feared his father and he didn’t blame them. Even though he loved his father, he also despised him. He knew no one but him would endure his father’s punishments so when the tiny you approached him he tried his best to push you away. You were far too fragile, you couldn’t get close to him or his father. 

But you didn’t care. No matter how many times he rudely sent you away you always returned. And as time passed he felt himself slowly growing fond of you. You were nice to him, the only person that made him feel warm and he didn’t want you to leave him anymore. He wanted to keep your kindness, to keep the warmth you made him feel through the utter coldness he was accustomed to. So he allowed you to stay if only for a while which soon became longer and longer.

You played together in elementary school and he would protect you from anyone that even attempted to bully you. Or ask you out for that matter. He soon had to realize that he grew more and more possessive of you, that he didn’t want anyone to take you away from him. You had been with him since the beginning, had shown him kindness and understanding, had been there for him and took care of the bruises his father kept giving him. As cheesy as this sounded you had been his sun all along, naturally and selflessly giving him warmth without ever being asked to. His one and only friend.

Shit I might need to turn this into a fiction maybe? haha we’ll see

The Shape (Michael Meyers)

Michael had always been the silent child in your kindergarten group. First everyone thought he was just a little shy but you soon realized that he simply refused to speak. Of course your teacher tried to convince him to talk, even had a meeting with his parents but they assured that he learned speaking, however at one point simply stopped any form of communication. To the adults he was a hopeless case. They tried desparately to change him, but he wouldn’t budge. 

To you he was a welcome friend. You didn’t mind his silence, you knew he was listening to you and you could still play together. Well, it was mostly you telling him what to do with the toys, because he himself wouldn’t do anything besides holding them in his hand, but that wasn’t much of an issue to you. 

Of course you tried to get him to play with your other friends too, but his lack of enthusiasm often got in the way and the other kids got scared of his silent and emotionless behavior. However, even when they told you to, you refused to stop playing with Michael. Yes, he was a little odd, but that didn’t make him a bad child (killing his sister later lowkey did tho oop) so you didn’t want him to be alone. Everyone needs some company, right? 

Over time you noticed, that he would remember what you had told him to do with the toys, instead of simply holding them, to which you would give him a big smile.

This improvement you saw in his behavior made you even sadder when one day he stopped coming to the kindergarten. At first you had thought he was sick, but weeks went on without a single trace of him or his parents.

Upon asking you own they had told you he was sent to another kindergarten instead, that was specialized on children like him. You were sad of course, but you accepted it, hoping he would find more friends to play with now. 

You only later found out he was sent to an asylum instead of another kindergarten.

The Ghostface (Danny Johnson)

Danny Johnson did not have the nicest childhood imaginable. After her divorce his mother didn’t become directly abusive to him, more so the alcohol. 

He liked to think that the slurring woman bruising him wasn’t his mother, that it was simply someone else, someone more aggressive trying to be her. He didn’t want to think his mother hated him, he didn’t want to believe she would bruise him, would shout at him and blame him for what had happened to her marriage. 

Even as a young boy he knew to cover his bruises. He loved his mother, he didn’t want her to be alone even though the woman the alcohol brought out of her hurt him in every way possible. But it was his fault right? His dad didn’t want him so he left him and his mother. He was responsible and the least he thought he could do was let her let out her pain on the person responsible for her misery.

In school he didn’t talk much to anyone. He was a rather shy kid, not wanting to cause anymore trouble for anyone. At lunch he sat alone, but he didn’t mind. He also didn’t mind being called weird or gross for his greasy long hair or the bags under his eyes. Not that he wanted to talk to anyone about himself anyways. Not even to you as you approached him. 

You had watched him sit alone for a long time. He looked sad, restless, sometimes even scared and despite not even knowing him, it hurt you to see anyone in this state. So you went to talk to him. However, it took a while for him to stop avoiding you as best as he could and he eventually opened up to you a bit. He still didn’t tell you about the abuse until you reached middle school, but when he did you were determined to help him, to clear his understanding of him not being responsible for anything and to get him a new home. 

With the help of your parents you were able to get him out of his household and soon find a acquainted family that was willing to take him in. The Olsens tried their best to provide him with everything he needed. And while you knew it would take time for him to heal, you were relieved he was part of a loving family now, that would help him back onto a safe track. 

You couldn’t have known that the damage to Danny’s brain had already been done and there was no way of saving him from the twisted prison of his own mind.

OOK THESE ARE WAY DARKER THAN YOU PROBABLY WANTED BUT I OOP GOT CARRIED AWAY 

I can attempt to make it more wholesome a second time if you want these were just the most logical things that came to my mind haha... honestly idk but I usually think that someone isn’t just yk born a killer (except Michael maybe pfft) so I came up with some uhm logical upbringings to the boys haha yeet..

Anyways I’m considering turning the Evan and Ghosty one into their own separate story thingsies. Kinda hard to do something with Michael bc uhm Psychiatry but possibly something with a reader that’s also in treatment or we pull a Harley Quinn sometime who knows! 

For now I hope you aren’t too mad that this was so... dark instead of cute oop >:)) if you’re mad just let me die on the hook next time pffft

[nothing-but-dreamy]

BROKEN

Pairing: NYX ULRIC x GENDER NEUTRAL!READER

Words: 3.401

Warnings: angst; fluff; mention of sex; raw emotions; kinda dark (?)

A/N: This is the sequel to ‘Reckless’. But ‘Reckless’ got written with a female reader. Because I’m trying to change my writing style to suit more readers, I changed the female reader of ‘Broken’ to a neutral reader. So, basically, ‘Reckless’ was about a Glaive who worked kinda thoughtless during missions. They jumped into every dangerous situation they could find. Nyx wasn’t too fond of their behavior and so, he seeked a conversation with them. Because both held unspoken feelings for each other, the conversation turned into something intimate and heated.

‘Broken’ is the darker sequel to give a bit more background to the reader. But I wrote it so that you can read it as a standalone.

Three weeks had passed since you and Nyx had your little heated 'discussion' in the Glaives' headquarters. As promised, the same day, Nyx had kept his word and visited you to show his arguments again and again why you should be less reckless. This night was the beginning of something great...and undeniably intense. None of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Almost nowhere. Even if you tried to keep it secret in front of the others, you found ways to have fun with Nyx wherever you wanted.

Nyx was drawn to your wildness as if danger was your second nature. Quickly, you noticed Nyx’ animalistic side while you were drawn to the way Nyx saw you. He gave you the feeling to be wanted. He gave you closeness where you usually just got rejected.

But like always when it became good, your past was haunting you no matter how far you would run. You had run to the farthest point you could find on the map - to Insomnia - and yet, Ryan had found you.

You hoped to get distracted as you joined the Glaives. On the battlefield, the war sounds and the screams of your dying enemies would be louder than the other voices in your head. Ryan would get silenced.

Nyx was right, you were reckless. Thoughtlessly, you ran into every new fight no matter what size the enemy had because the language of your blades were the only one you could speak fluently. Violence was what you knew the best because then, Ryan disappeared.

When you were with Nyx, the voices also became silent. When you were enjoying the man's satisfying presence, everything in your head died down to the point that Nyx was everything you could think of.

But as something else started to grow inside of you, a little, small thing called 'love', Ryan was back with full force to remind you what you were and what you had done.

"You bring death to everyone around you! You bring bad luck to everyone you love! You're the reason why everyone dies! I wish you would be dead instead of them! I hope you will never be happy!"

"No, I'm not like that! No! No! No! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!", you cried out, pressing your fists against your head to fight against the pain behind your temples.

*

For the twentieth time, Nyx checked the time on his watch and frowned. Slowly, he paced up and down at the meeting spot, becoming more and more impatient the longer he had to wait. It was unusual. For three weeks, he was dating you and every single moment had been amazing. With you, everything was so intense, passionate and lust-filled.

Then, Nyx had tried his luck and had asked you out to have a real date with dinner, maybe a movie. He wanted to show you that he saw more in you than just a sexual partner. In his eyes, you were more than just a fling. You could be more. More like a couple. You had been cautious with your answer and now, as you didn't show up, Nyx thought that he might have been too eager. That it was maybe too early for you. Maybe you felt caged by him…

Five minutes later, Nyx decided he had waited long enough and so, he walked to your place. He wanted to know what your problem was. Why were you acting this frustrating because Nyx really thought you two had worked past it. You had grown a bond. So, why were you trying to destroy it again? Nyx already searched for the problem by himself.

Nyx walked his way up the stairs to your apartment, already kinda angry but stopped as he heard something: "Go away! Why can't you just leave me alone! I'm not what you say! It's not my fault!"

Nyx’ hand froze in front of the door as he was just about to knock. He heard the angry, frantically and muffled cries behind the door as if you were screaming at someone. Without knocking, Nyx opened the door to help you but as he stepped in, the picture in front of him let his blood run cold. There was no one else in the small room except you.

Your place was more spare than Nyx' own if that was even possible. You had a bed and an old, worn wing chair. In one corner hung a used punching bag which was still swinging, obviously you had trained until the moment you had broken down in front of it.

Nyx' eyes were glued at your frame. You were just dressed in shorts and a trainingstop. Your hands were bandaged for the punching bag. You were covered in sweat while you had been slumped down on your knees, holding your head violently between your fists which were pressing against your temples. Your eyes were squeezed shut and so, you hadn't noticed Nyx yet.

Softly, Nyx closed the door. On his way over to you, his eyes fell on a bunch of pictures. He had seen them before. They were like his own: family memories with smiling faces and proud parents and a brother. They were old and the color faded on the edges but he never asked you about them because he wanted to give you the time to do it on your own.

Nyx knelt next to you, not daring to touch you because in fear to scare you. He was even scared on his own to see you, this usual tough person in such a state. You never had been this vulnerable in front of him, or in front of someone else or … at all. Nyx leant forward, searching your closed eyes, "YN? Hey, it's me-"

By the sound of his voice, your head snapped up to meet his glance. Nyx saw your bloody eyes, your lashes were spikey and your face was frozen in an expression of pure agony. Like a blank nerv, pain, hate and loathing were displayed on your features that Nyx became speechless.

"Leave me alone, Nyx!", you hissed.

He had seen you angry before but nothing was compared to what he saw now in your eyes, "No.", Nyx said calmingly, closing up on you slowly, "I won't leave you alone like this.", he said softly. Just to see you in such a state broke his heart.

"I said you shall go!", you cried out angrily, punching against his chest to gain more distance between yourself and his caring, blue eyes that made you angry. As he didn't move, you snatched out one of your blades from a hidden spot to threaten him.

Nyx moved quickly, grabbing the blade from your shaking hand and threw it aside before you broke down in his arms, crying violently against his chest.

Nyx sat down on the ground, leaning against your bed and letting you cry. He tickled your neck and stroked over your hair and back to calm you. Nyx had no idea what had happened and he didn't dare to ask. Whatever had triggered this, it had to be something extreme you barely showed someone, hiding everything like this somewhere deep down inside of you. Caging it to prevent yourself from breaking.

Five minutes later, you slowly calmed down. You felt exhausted and empty, physically and emotionally. You noticed Nyx' arms enclosing you softly but also determined to keep you close, to give you comfort. You felt guilty that he had seen you like this but you couldn't change it now where the damage was done.

You just could explain it, "Everyone of our village died that day as the imperials came.", you said low, your voice barely a whisper and hoarse from all the crying. First you thought Nyx hadn't heard you but his grip became stronger around you and so, you continued with the urge to explain yourself while snuggling closer to his chest, "That day, I lost everything. Everyone I knew died. Except me and my brother. We got rescued by some hunters. But, you know, I ... I should have died there with all the others! I should be dead instead of being alive!", you said desperately, feeling how new tears were crawling to the surface.

"No, YN. No. That's not true. Why do you think that?", he asked concerned, trying to keep his own emotions out of his voice.

"Yes, it is true! My brother was right! I always brought bad luck to everyone around me!", you argued angrily. You clenched your fists, trying to hurt yourself with your nails digging into the palms of your hands to let yourself feel something else than grief.

Nyx was shocked. He couldn't believe what he heard, "Yo-your brother? He said all these things?", he asked in disbelief.

You looked up quickly but as you saw his eyes, you had to draw your glance away again, "Yes. My brother, Ryan. The hunters had helped us. Brought us somewhere safe but after we realized what had happened, Ryan said it was my fault that our parents died. He casted the blame on me and you know what? He's right. Our mother died because she saved me and as she got shot our dad tried the same. Both would be still alive if it weren't for me. So, before I will be the reason for more deaths, I ran away."

"H-how old were you as you ran away?", Nyx whispered. His blood was slowly fueled with anger against your brother who had said all these horrible things.

"I don’t know… I guess, I was thirteen, maybe twelve as I left the hunters. Since then, I've been alone. And I will always be alone. It's the only way for me.", you whispered, determined to stay by your habit.

Nyx leant back to look into your eyes, "You're not alone-", he tried.

"Yes, I am! And that's how it should be!", you hissed and felt bad for snapping at him.

"No. YN, look at me, please.", Nyx asked and as you raised your head, he smiled softly, stroking wet strands of your hair out of your face before he cupped it, "You're not alone. You have friends here. You... Y-you have me.", he said carefully with an insecure smile. For a split second, he saw that he got through to you. Your eyes became clear with hope before the self-loathing was back.

"No. I don't have you. You can't stay with me or otherwise you will be dead like everyone else.", you whispered before you looked away.

Nyx' heart broke all over again. The pain you felt was nothing new to him, it just seemed to be so much worse than what he felt usually. Carefully, he forced you to look at him again, "Listen, as a Glaive, nothing is certain. We both know that. Obviously, our lives aren't made for certainty. But I will stay by your side as long as I can. Trust me."

"I'm bad luck. Why would you want to have someone as broken as me, anyway?"

"Because you're the toughest person I have ever met. You have so many scars and you still keep fighting. You never back down. The fire you're carrying makes me speechless. Everyone around you comes first. I admire you so damn much for everything you stand for. Your handsomeness makes me speechless. You're so damn sexy and sensual that it is addictive.", Nyx said honestly.

"You just say that because the sex is great and you want more of that.", you whispered sadly.

"No! I mean, yeah... Of course, it is great! But I... YN, I tell you that because it's the truth. It's the truth that I see you like this. And ... it's also the truth that I'm falling for you.", Nyx whispered with a pounding heart.

"Y-yo-you do- what? No! You can't do that!", you called out, panic appearing in your eyes. You even tried to leave Nyx' side, to crawl away from him.

Nyx kept you in place and chuckled softly, "You can't forbid people to like you and you can't prohibit me to love you.", he said softly. It was a very long time since he had said these words. He wanted to comfort you, sure, but they weren’t just meaningless words out of niceness. Nyx really meant them.

And to his delight, he saw that you believed him. New tears were building in your eyes. You looked sadly at him but at the same time, your eyes filled themselves with fondness for him. A tear rolled down your cheek and Nyx caught it with his thumb, "Please, don't cry anymore.", Nyx whispered and pressed a soft kiss on your lips which tasted salty after all the tears shed.

As he leant back, you stopped him. You clawed your fingers into his shirt, pulling him back to you to kiss him softly. Just slowly, you increased the pressure of your lips, noticing that he waited for your next moves, for your pace before he adjusted to it. You felt vulnerable. You hated it that he had seen you like this. And yet, that he was there meant the world to you.

Someone was there for you. Someone who seemed to love you even when you were broken like this. You knew that Nyx also had lost so many things. He couldn't save his mother and sister and suddenly, you realized that your recklessness all the time had to be the worst for him. Nyx feared to lose you while he would be helpless to rescue you because you jumped right into danger.

Slowly, you leant backwards, landing on the cold floor with Nyx on top of you. You snaked your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck to keep him close.

Nyx felt that you needed physical contact and yet, it was something completely different than usually when he was with you. You had wanted him before but that was always demanding, aggressive and determined. Almost animalistic. And now, you were so soft, caring and slow with him.

Your kisses were delicious and filled with love that Nyx melted against you. You kissed him longingly that he forgot to breathe. Your hands roamed over his body in admiring moves, savoring him and his flaws because for you, they were non-existent.

You grabbed the rim of his plain shirt, pulling it slowly up and over his head just to touch his hot skin again in the next second. You stroked over his back. Admiring every single scar you could find softly with your fingertips. You traced along them, stroking along Nyx' spine to produce goosebumps on your way.

Nyx shuddered against your frame as he felt your caring touch moving upwards to his neck. You raked your slender fingers through his hair and combed it with them. Carefully, you played with the braids as if you never had touched them before. You stroked along the small beads and enjoyed the feeling of Nyx' extremely soft, feathery hair. Never before, you noticed their softness like in this moment.

Reluctantly, Nyx left your sweet lips but his lungs demanded oxygen. He created a small space to look into your eyes which were sparkling with admiration he had never seen before. You wanted to say something, Nyx saw it but instead, you just gnawed on your lower lip. Slowly, you stroked from his back, over his shoulders down his chest.

Under Nyx' intense glance, you moved your hands down Nyx' upper body. Along his scarred chest, down his abs and to his hips before you opened his pants. Slowly, you raised your eyes to meet his glance. Connected with his blue eyes, you started to roll your hips against him to increase the friction even more.

Nyx knew what you wanted. And there was no way he would deny your request to have him. Slowly, he crawled back, offered you his hand to stand up before he undressed his remaining clothes. You followed immediately and pushed Nyx down on your bed to crawl on top of him.

Fascinated, Nyx watched you taking your time with him. While you made your way up along his body, you kissed every inch you could find: his hips, his ribcage and his collarbones. Before you reached his lips, you bit softly into his neck which caused him to moan deeply with desire. Nyx stroked along your back and clawed into your shoulder blades as he felt your teeth digging into his skin.

With you in his arms, Nyx rolled you around, bringing you into a position to enter you teasingly slow. You moaned low with closed eyes by the pleasurable feeling caused by Nyx. You clawed your hands into your bedsheets, arching your back while Nyx captured your lips with his own for a passionate kiss. He always enjoyed every moment with you but now, this was intimate in a different way. None of you were driven by desire rather by the urgency to show your deepest emotions you held for each other.

***

As the sun rose, you sat in the wing chair to watch Nyx sleeping peacefully. He was tangled with your blanket, arms hugging one of your pillows. His braids and strands were tousled while his chest raised slowly up and down. One single tear slipped from your eyes and rolled down your cheek. You wiped it away violently. You knew what you had to do…

*

As Nyx awoke, he knew the bed was empty. There wasn't much space left and he didn't have you in his arms anymore how he had fallen asleep. He pushed the pillow aside. His quickened heartbeat let him awake completely as he realized what it could mean that you weren’t there.

Nyx sat up and that was the moment where he saw you sitting in your wing chair, staring at him. You were crying again but this time silently and this was far more worse and painful for Nyx to witness than the emotional outbreak the day before, "YN? Since when do you sit there?", he asked carefully, noticing that you were fully dressed with a bag to your feet.

As you heard his voice, you blinked and looked at him, "A few hours. I wanted to leave but I- I... I saw you sleeping and couldn't go...", you whispered.

Nyx hurried out of the bed, kneeling in front of you, "I'm happy you're still here.", he said softly, cupping your face with his hand, "That's what you do, right? Leaving when it gets too much?", he asked but you just nodded as an answer. Nyx searched your eyes, "How many times have you done that before?"

You looked away, shrugging your shoulders, "I don't know. After the tenth time, I stopped counting."

Nyx sighed. He had moments where he felt lost but you were it. He had Libertus, Crowe, Pelna...you had no one. And that for a far too long time.

You looked at him, "I couldn't leave you, Nyx. I should have, but I- I couldn't... I can't give you what you deserve. I can't make you happy...", you whispered.

"Trust me, I don't even think I would deserve happiness-"

"I'm serious. I- I couldn't love you. I mean I can't love you... I don't know how. I'm not able to do that.", you breathed sadly.

"You don't have to. Why can't we just be together? No naming. No label. Just we.", Nyx offered a different way.

With doubts, you looked at him, "You still want that?"

"Oh, yes. I won't give up on you so quickly. Not after I saw so much of you.", Nyx breathed meaningfully and stood up, holding out his hand as a reason for your decision to stay.

You looked at his hand. At this strong hand that had driven you crazy and that gave you comfort at the same time. Without thinking too much, you took it. You placed your hand in his and let him guide you back to the bed. You undressed a few clothes and cuddled next to Nyx' side, curling up into his arms.

With a content smile, he inhaled your scent and pressed a soft kiss on top of your crown. Both of you were broken but at this moment, neither of you were alone because you had found each other.

[gyujeongfmd]

restructuring task 1 / changes *+10 ecp

1. assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background. (wc / 297)

if the spectrum lies in minjung not changing at all, and taejin doing a 180. then, gyu’s right in the middle. there are a few changes — one being that now he dances, and he’s no longer a main rapper. but the dancing portion isn’t something he trained on or necessarily has a passion about, but instead something that comes instinctively to him? he’s the opposite of a 몸치 aka he is the opposite of not having any sense of rhythm. that kind of stuff comes natural to him, and even when he was underground inside his hyung’s apartment — his dancing was above average for someone who’s never had a dancing skill. however, that becomes polished once he enters gold star.

another change is that he’s at gold star now — it came about when he tried to audition for show me the money as a young child, but instead got recruited (all thanks to his looks. but turns out he’s more than a pretty face). this meant he trained under gold star and they promised him a bunch of things? he believed it because he was still naive, and under the thought that he’d find some freedom by debuting as an idol (he had no idea what idols did prior to this, or a bad general understanding).

i’d say his general change is his attitude towards his group? knight was more focused on him not liking his group at all, but with platinum he feels in a way sorry though he doesn’t outwardly show it. there’s some sense of brotherly bond but not enough to tether him, but also not far off that it brings him to completely leave. as a result, he’s in limbo about how he is — still grappling with that one day at a time.

2. what does your muse think of their company and their group? (wc / 259)

compared to bc, gyujeong likes gold star. at least, enough that he doesn’t outwardly want to start a smear campaign about bang sunyoung like he did with kim byungchul. that being said, he doesn’t really like the company either — the noonas that recruited him promised everything and for a while, when he was a trainee he did get good treatment compared to the half basements he was living in with his hyungs. however, he debuted and he realized that this was all bullshit — everything they promised was gone and done especially when the songs he releases are complete shit and they rarely let him take a hand on it. (well, that’s because of his punishment).he realizes now that there’s no freedom in debuting, and a bit too late. it’s hardened him to the point where he blames gold star for his big downfall of being this new persona he wasn’t when he was a child.

as for his group? he doesn’t hate his group nor does he love his group either. the music they release, he thinks is corny for the most part — especially the ballady nature. however, he feels somewhat sorry for dragging them down in a way? he feels the shit they get is mainly because of him, and he feels some loyalty to his group especially because they’ve picked up on where he’s fucked up in the past. he’s still not letting them be all blood brothers, hugging and saying ilysm! lylas! but he’s learn to grow with them, and just take it as is.

3. is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract? (wc: 303)

gyujeong renewed his contract with gold star in 2018. honestly, he knows why he did it. but he regrets it to a degree — half of it, i’d like to say is the gold star pressure. they pressured him, basically giving him the lines of ‘what are you gonna do now? you have no career outside of platinum.’ which was true considering he had 0 solo opportunities back then. he was 26 at the time, so he was aged so even if he wanted to make his debut as a rapper, it’d be hard since he was getting so much shit for selling out to be an idol to begin with. plus, public hate surrounding him at that point was a high, and gold star basically made it like they were the only option to save him — his 26 year old ass was scared on the inside, as much as he hates to admit. as a result, he signed on for another year thinking he didn’t want to retire because what skills did he have to offer? he didn’t graduate high school, he didn’t go to college. he makes music, but if gold star decided to black list him then he’d be fucked with a 0 person fan base.

another reason he chose to sign on was because of his group. this is unknown but deep down he felt sorry for the shit he caused within his group — and seeing as how his group all signed on, he felt some sense of responsibility to carry on, especially because they’re a four person team. one person lost is 25%, and that’s a lot when you have more groups in the horizon waiting to take over whatever niche platinum is in. 

so, all in all, he signed on bc he had no choice / kinda felt guilty.

4. what are your muse’s goals and motivations? (wc / 324)

gyujeong doesn’t have many goals at all — at this point, he’s given up having any goals within gold star because he feels he’s been fucked over by them one too many times. he got a solo? which was great, and oddly well received by the public — but he also thinks those were pity listens, and not worth much. doubts it transfers over if he came back (he kinda cares). but realistically, his goals might be to release another album in the future? 

right now, his attention’s on fashion though. he’d like to get more global recognition for his line, far from the asia target market. he’d want to be known with the greats (that’s just wishful thinking lmao). but it’d be nice to house a fashion week set, or go at least. he’d want to carry on his relations with chanel because he truly loves the brand and everything it stands for.

motivations? he has none. he doesn’t know what love is, has basically no friends and a cat. he’s living life day by day and seeing what becomes of it — ideally, what he’d want to really have as a goal is to find happiness. corny, i know. but the happiness he once had as a child (void of any parental figures).

i’d suppose his goal right now is to stop writing music based on what his company wants. they know the tracks he touches usually are generally better received than the public, and because his ‘ban’ aka punishment for getting into scandals is over (ala a solo debut), gold star seems to want to make him use his creativity for platinum’s tracks. however, he doesn’t want to be a pack mule and wants to start creating music for the sake of him — basically, he’s exhausted from his solo debut doesn’t know if he wants to make a comeback at all or wait another ten years or just retire completely.

5. what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future? (wc / 329)

he’s at a low — he has no real friends, minus hidden figures here and there. he has no music left on the table that gold star seems to want (they always tell him last minute and pick the songs he doesn’t want to release). he basically got told off by someone he loved to get over it — he has nothing left. he’s a dramatic little bitch, but what can i do? 

he’s dealing with how to handle these things one by one. 

career wise — he’s doing a lot in fashion? and that becomes a piece of confusion when he neglects music for fashion and gold star wants something released, and they can’t because gyu hasn’t touched logic or ableton in near months prepping for the next line of his work. he does it when inspiration hits and works at his own pace. then again, he can’t? because he has the guilt of having to carry the burdens of his past he doesn’t let show. it’s a recipe for disaster when it all brews internally and he doesn’t let it out and instead runs to different avenues for escape. 

he doesn’t know what he wants. he just wants to live life like kanye, but knows that he can’t because he’s not kanye.

he’s also dealing with the conflict of being pigeon holed into one genre. his earlier works focused more on being true to himself, and his core — into the new world, empty. etc. the more sentimental ballad-esque pop songs were when he was more carefree / optimistic about the world. however now, he’s been more hardened? and the scandals have left him more contained as to what gold star would let him do — aka, keep up the bad boy image the public seems to know him for. as a result, he’s not able to venture out or get back in touch in fear of what others may think / his underground buddies may think

6. if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why. (wc / 384)

gyu’s established career claims fall under three categories — variety, modeling / fashion, and music. musically is the easiest as he’s released his solo album after ten years, lmao. i like that he hasn’t touched music in ten years just because gold star hasn’t let him release it — they finally let him off the leash after so much despite letting him work behind the scenes. behind the scenes, they let him work on a lot of things. his overall mood / 감성  when it comes to music is just that it’s soft and sensitive — hence why his first piece is into the new world. you’d never expect it to come from someone like him, but it’s really just the soft gentleness that’s part of his core hence why it’s one of the melodies closest to him as an individual. aside from that, he works on a lot of darker equinox tracks because that’s what his vibe is lately, and it’s that house clubby r&b funk that works with him, and gold star likes that enough to keep asking him for it. he’s worked more in-house than out-house, and not really looking to branch out into any territory. he just wants to make music for him : )

modeling / fashion wise — chanel picks him, and he picks chanel. a matchmade in heaven when he sports their bags and their tweed jackets like no other. it’s enough that chanel inspires him to create his own line otakgyu which he’s heavily involved with. that’s his focus for now, creating new pieces to appeal to his own fashion sense. he wants to create more pieces that are “edgier’ but also fall more into the androgyny of fashion. 

lastly, variety. he doesn’t even know how he ended up in this — yet, each time he appears on variety, more fans fall in love. i like to think of it like song mino and how stupid he comes across on variety which basically shatters his stage image of being more ‘hardcore’. aka, the public likes how goofy and silly gyujeong gets (unplanned and completely candid) on variety. it’s why he shows up and why gold star signs him up. gyujeong, on the otherhand, finds it more of a nuisance and an invasion of privacy as that’s one side he’d not want to reveal. 

[marielambs-corner]

HEY!!!! Happy (belated) HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!

StrawberryAeris, I'm sorry I'm kinda (pretty) late with this. I wanted it to be great and perfect and something you'd truly enjoy, but time caught up on me and well, I thoguht dividing it into chapters would be better than keeping you waiting ^^u

So, with no more ado, Here I bring you the beginning!!!

Hope you enjoy this and that you had some wonderful holidays, and wishing you a happy and healthy 2021!!!

Enjoy it!!

*See Tumblr version under the cut*

Days were becoming cold and nights chill in the old New York as winter already settled in. And in the old studio, through cracks and loosely boarded holes in the upper levels, snow could be seen gently falling and covering any crevasse with its white blanket, and a little toon-shaped Dancing Demon was truly amused by its sight.

It's not like Dancey hadn’t seen snow before, it was always a sort of spectacle for the little demon. Though always his experiences with it were from as far as possible; first through the old reels with cartoons of the original Bendy, and currently, just admiring how it delicately piled up between the cracks that still exposed the studio to the outside world. There was only one time he dared to play with it, too amazed and curious, wanting to replicate what he saw in the cartoons, and that was an immediate mistake, for the ink that composed his body froze at the direct exposure, and everything from his forearms to the tips of his fingers totally paralyzed; any attempt at moving his limbs resulted in a painful crack, his ink breaking apart like a crumbling cookie from the movement strain. It took about a couple of hours and quite an amount of fresh ink from the machine to gain back mobility, another hour for the dullness and pain to ebb away, and a whole week of constant nagging and reprimands from his big sibling for him to understand to never do something like that, ever again.

Not like anyone else would believe how caring and protective the Ink Demon truly was, but he just was like that, always with an eye over the Dancing Demon, and with rules to make sure the little one wouldn’t get into much trouble.

If only the rest could see him the same way as Dancey saw him...

Watching the snow fall, though, really put the little demon in quite a nostalgic mood, thinking on his sibling, on the cursed creatures below, on how he’d like them to enjoy something as simple as snow as much as he did, or soup, or music! That’d be so nice, for all of them just enjoy the simplest things.

What was not so nice was the coldness. A chill draft leaked through the crevasses, sending goosebumps all over the demon’s body, shaking and rattling like the toon he was. He crossed his arms, rubbing his upper arms in a bleak attempt at keeping some heat, but wasn’t enough. Either he just dropped the snow-gazing, or went to find something to wrap himself up.

...the first choice meant to go back to the lower levels and that’d also mean no more fun at the snow-gazing, so even if his big sibling didn’t approve, checking on the old locked closets in hopes to find something useful was it. And just as he expected, most of them were locked. Some, though, would budge if he was insistent enough, and it was the case for 1 door out of 13 he tried, with the door busting open so strong it sent Dancey rolling all across until he hit the opposite wall, upside down.

Shaking out the dizziness, he quickly recomposed himself and went to check on the now-open closet. A corner had a box full to the brim with bacon soup cans—a small victory he’d save for later. A few projectors occupied a shelf in a haphazardly manner, as if just thrown over in there, thing that surely would upset the Projectionist if he came to know about it. A stack of paper used another corner of a shelf, self-explanatory given how close he was from the old Art Department. And in upper shelf a box, which contents couldn’t decipher due to the location and height; he’d have to climb up to get it.

Lucky for the Dancing Demon, he was rather light in weight, and the shelves still were pretty sturdy, so climbing them was not a problem. What meant a problem was taking the box itself; as soon as he edged it to take it down, its weight immediately followed gravity curse and, with Dancey being helpless as he had to use at least one hand to hold himself as in a ladder, the box went straight to his face, pushing him and making him drop his hold on the shelf, falling and being squashed under the box’s weight.

A little undignified “Oof!” was released along with a grunt, but sooner than later, Dancey once again recomposed himself, sitting up and checking on the box’s content. Indeed, there was some pieces of cloth, he could use one to cover himself! It was soft but a bit raspy with some strange patter and, of course, covered with dust. Seemed like an old sweater long forgotten by time. Well, he now could give it new purpose as his own winter sweater!

What else was in the box? His curiosity mused to himself.

There were a couple of tapes, maybe he could play them later in one of the recorders, ask Sammy for help. There was also a tied-up bunch of some yellowing paper/cardboard thing, he wasn’t sure, as it was thin as paper but rigid as cardboard. Could be both? They had some pretty pictures in one side while the other had smeared ink that made what was once written in there unintelligible. The bottom of the box was filled with little reddish-brown—maybe withered—balls along with crumbles of leaves that kept turning into dust the more he rummaged around the box (he gave a guess of it being old dry leaves, from what he’d seen of those strange plants that keep growing in the deepest levels when their leaves fall). And last thing was a smaller box inside.

With solemnity and anticipation, he took the smaller box, pushing aside the bigger one. In expectance for something, he didn’t know what, slowly, dramatically slowly, he placed his hand on the lid, and inched its way open. What he found inside were... pictures, old, yellowing, some fading, but still pretty recognizable. The pictures, of course, were from the old times, when the studio still worked as a studio and not the cursed place it currently was. They varied from people standing alone, in couples, in trios, or bigger groups; some blurry from movement, some sideways, but most capturing the moment without the people noticing, letting them to just do whatever they were doing and it being captured by the images. They all were varied, but given how the people wore the same clothes photo after photo and how the background seemed to be pretty alike in every take, the only conclusion Dancey could get to was that these all were taken the same day. But that as a way to discard any other options and confirm some suspicions, as there was some other thing that caught his attention.

Admittedly, he couldn’t recognize all of the people in the images, but some, he was familiar with them, and among them was a way too familiar face.

Joey Drew.

No matter who in the wrecked studio, everyone was capable to recognize such name and face. The sad and sour (and almost angry) taste his image left in the little demon’s mouth, though, was not rival for his still growing curiosity as to why people in the pictures was so happy and comfortable around him. He kept studying the images, and even he had to admit, Joey’s smile seemed almost... real, authentic. Maybe it was a real smile.

A picture showed him with his arms slung around Sammy and Norman, and even if they both seemed like they just rolled their eyes, there was a smirk, a smile in their faces, over Drew’s antics. Another one showed a group of three people sitting where they could, as they unwrapped some small boxes and opened their lids to see their contents, with smiles, warm, tender, excited smiles in their faces looking what was inside, as Joey was standing in the middle, rather smug. Another showed the janitor and the toy-maker, Wally and Shawn, that were holding Joey down, or maybe pushing him down, as Wally jumped over his back and Shawn was hanging from his neck, and Joey was still smiling, maybe even laughing at the antics. Susie hugging him and giving him a peck on his check, making him smile with eyebrows shot upwards, and his face even looked darker in this one. A side-hug from Mr. Piedmont, both grinning and giving thumb-up to the camera. Even Mr. Cohen was in one, smiling with tiredness but smiling nonetheless, while sitting on a chair, showing something he picked up from one of those wrapped boxes, and Joey beaming, standing right behind him.

All the pictures were like these, with smiles, and laughs, and joy, with lights strings, and a decorated tree, and bushy garlands, and ribbons, with people wearing sweaters with strange patterns, holding mugs whose steam was still visible through the old images, and one was wearing a hat with a couple of leaves and some little spheres—like the ones at the bottom of the big box—hanging of it (those in the picture caught below such garment, no matter who they were, were kissing, with varying kinds of faces they’d do while at it, but the one wearing the hat behind them always sported a triumphant grin from ear to ear).

Figurative gears were churning inside the Dancing Demon’s head. One thing he was sure of, and that was he liked what he’s seeing. He liked to imagine that was actually full of color, like purples and blues and greens and oranges (very little was his experience with color, only what he managed to see from the cracks in the upper levels, just like the snow, but was enough to make his imagination blow up with the possibilities, especially in a sepia toned hellish place like this).

They all, he also concluded, looked happy. Were happy, even with Joey being there. Maybe regardless of Joey being there. No, still didn’t sound right. Definitively was with Joey being there. But why? Wasn’t he the most despised person in the studio? Definitively, the pictures were not from before the Ink Machine times, as he could see some dark pipes gleaming in the background of some pictures. What made this day so special that everyone could be... okay with him there? Happy with him there? Was he forgiven? ...No, definitively not that, it had to be something else. Was the day itself? A day to leave behind differences? No-quarrels-allowed kind of day? A truce day?

...Truce day...

That... that’s it! It had to be! They made a truce for the day? After all, it was pretty obvious that people still loathed Joey up to that day, but still in these pictures, they were able to put aside their differences and spend at least a single day, merry and happy.

He really would like that something like that happened to them now, for them to be able to be together like this, regardless...

Why not try it?

...yeah... Yeah! Why not! He even could invite everyone in the studio! The lost ones, searchers, the Butcher Gang, miss Alice, just- Everyone! Even Inky... Excitement grew more and more in his minute body from all the possibilities. Dancey sprawled the pictures, trying to identify and mentally list everything in there so he could recreate it as close as possible. He might not have had an idea of when it was actually made, but the people in the pictures wore sweaters, and he does feel like in a sweater season, collecting the rest he found back in the big box and taking the pictures back in their own container, and back in the box too. If he wanted this to work, he truly had to pan out this well and smoothly. But first of all, and before anything, he had to go and show Inky.

*-*-*-*-*

Expect next chapter in a couple of days~ ^^

[fisheoctrashdump]

Also, Jedediah 1-20 (20 with Kristen) 👉👈

Before I go into all these, I wanna start with saying that Jedediah (and Cirino) are pretty old characters. They existed shortly after I made Blez and Kaya, but I haven't changed them as much. It's kinda funny because for as long as they've existed, Jedediah has basically just been a background character for the Cirino Show™, but now the roles are reversed.

Holiday

Jedediah hates holidays of any kind. He's been through so many different worlds and has seen hundreds of different holidays, but none of them were something he cared for,

That is, until he went to the festival with Kristen for the first time. Her enthusiasm was annoying at first, but the longer they stayed, the more Jedediah felt Kristen's joy passing onto him. It was all the same to him - the food, the music, the crowds of people praising something they never really knew - but the magic he felt that night was the lights reflected in Kristen's eyes, and the way she said his name, grabbing his arm to show him all her favorite things.

He still hates holidays, but now it's for a completely different reason...

Cooking

Jedediah doesn't have to cook for himself. He has magic to do that for him. Some might say it's made him pretty lazy, but he disagrees. It gives him time for more important things (plus all the food he eats is good as fuck)

Sleeping

Sleeping for him is rare. He doesn't actually need it as often, because again, magic. When he does have to sleep, it's hard for him to fall asleep, and when he finally does, he is sometimes prone to nightmares.

Driving

No need to drive when you have teleportation magic :3c

He's kinda like Kristen in that he doesn't want to learn to drive. He's seen cars before in many different worlds, but he never learned to drive. I doubt he ever would, either.

Bathing/showering

MAGIC

jk I'm not sure what his bathing habits have been before, but currently it's not really anything special. He showers daily, and he does it as quick as possible

Hugging

Before the wish, Jedediah would always get really stiff and awkward when Kristen hugged him. But he… did like it.

If anyone else were trying to hug him, though, there is no way they would be successful lol

Kissing

He's never been kissed before. I imagine he sometimes wonders what it would be like to kiss Kristen, but he never thinks about it for long.

When/if he ever were to kiss someone (and by someone, I mean Kristen lol) I imagine his kissing to be maybe a little intense at first, and then just slowly melts into a gentler, more passionate kind of kiss.

Sex

Jedediah is like a thousand years old and a virgin lol

I headcanon him as demisexual, and I just can't see that he would consider anyone in his life close enough.

General physical contact

He usually flinches from physical contact. Any kind of physical contact in his life before now has pretty much only been the bad kind, so it's become an instinct to escape when he feels someone touch him (using whatever means necessary).

He eventually became comfortable enough to allow Kristen to touch him without trying to escape, but he still was very guarded and anxious.

Physical appearance

He has greyish skin, black hair and red eyes. He's 5'8 owo

Jedediah has several long scars that span from his wrists up to his shoulders. He also has scars that circle his wrists, and a diagonal scar on his abdomen.

Wardrobe

To be completely honest, I have no idea. When he was still mortal, before Cirino fucked his life up, I imagined him being a suit kinda dude. After that and currently, I can't really decide. Probably darker clothing lol

Jewelry

No jewelry.

Nickname

Jed ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who wants to say a four syllable name all the time?

Cirino used to call him Jeddy when they were younger. Kristen will end up using this nickname as well, but she of course had no idea about the memories attached to it. He let her call him that regardless, and began to grow fond of it again after a while.

Dancing

He can waltz, ballroom, and tap dance, but it's not really something he does currently

but god, imagine him dancing with Kristen,,,,,,,,,,,

Singing

He sometimes sings or hums to himself to concentrate. He barely even noticed he did it until he joined Kristen's elemental group. The other three would tease him about it sometimes just to see him get flustered.

Anger

Jedediah gets angry very easily. Over minor and immediate issues, he can diffuse the situation himself and calm himself down. For bigger issues, however, he takes it out on others.

His problems with Cirino has caused him to hurt a lot of people, including Kristen. He has dealt with a lot of anger over the many years he's been alive from the way he's been treated by pretty much everyone he's ever known.

Soft spot

Kristen.

Vince and Luna

Animals, specifically cats and birds.

Books. He reads for a lot of different reasons, but he's always found comfort in immersing himself in a book.

Favorite possession

The dark magic book he took after Cirino disappeared. It also makes for a perfect hiding place for his real favorite possession - a pressed flower Kristen grew for him shortly after they met.

Favorite photograph

I don't think he has one.

Relationship with ___

Kristen

His relationship with Kristen (and feelings for Kristen) are very complicated.

I imagine when they first met, Jedediah was feeling kind of lost. He had been ordered around for pretty much his entire life, and he didn't know what to do now that he was free from Adizora. Up until the point they met, he had been burying himself in research. Kristen pulled him from his sad boy isolation, and pushed him to put his powers to good use. She thought that Jedediah was the answer they needed to stop the fighting between the elementals and the wizards. He had magic just like Adizora's (if not better than hers), and she hoped Jed would step up to replace her.

Jedediah wasn't too happy about this idea, but he joined Kristen's elemental group to be closer to her. He felt very drawn to her, because for the first time in his life he was being treated as someone's equal. More than that, she had such a positive effect on him. He felt a little less lost and more like he actually had a purpose.

I haven't decided what exactly happens that causes Jedediah to be set on his revenge path, but when it does, he realizes this will go against what Kristen was hoping for. In fact, it could very well cause harm to her and the other two friends he made. It makes him realize that choosing revenge means he's going to have to put his walls back up with everyone, and cut off his emotions from them.

Everytime he goes after the others and does things to hurt them or keep them back from stopping him, he feels horrible. Jed tries to cover this, push himself harder, and ignore his conscience. It feels worse with Kristen, though. He misses being a part of the group sometimes, and I imagine a point where Jedediah starts to have second thoughts until he sees Cirino for the first time since he abandoned him.

[vixenninjaturtle]

TMNT Leo x Female Reader Ch. 6

TMNT Leo x Reader (2016) Ch. 6    You were enjoying your wonderful date with your favorite blue-banded terrapin when suddenly... the evening is rudely interrupted by your drunk asshole of an ex-boyfriend Luck. You and Luck broke up a few years ago back in college because he cheated on you with a family member of yours. Ever since then, he's been trying and begging to get back with you. But you were not having it, and for him to show up at your apartment completely unannounced when you never told him where you lived in the first place made you beyond furious.    You've tried everything you could to get him to leave without losing your temper, but he wouldn't budge. When you tried to force him out, he immediately grabbed your wrists and pinned you against the door with such force your whole almost went numb. This time Luke wasn't begging, he was demanding that you take him back. However, your answer was still no. There was no way in hell that you were allowing a jerk like him back into your life. Using whatever strength you had left, you managed to push Luke just enough to where you could head-butt him and knee in the groin. The moment you both fell to the floor, Luke was whimpering and groaning in pain, you, on the other hand, stumbled over into Leonardo's arms.

"L-Leo..." You spoke in a soft whimper.

"You ok (y/n)?" Leo asked as he looked you over for any bruises.

"Y-yeah... I'm fine."

"Stay behind me... I'll handle this."

   You looked up at Leo and all you see was the rage of fury in his Sapphire blue eyes. Almost like his protective/feral instincts have kicked into high gear. This was your first time seeing him like this and was kinda hot because you were seeing a whole different side of him. But on the other hand, it was also kinda... Scary. Normally he's always so calm and in control of emotions. But this... This was completely new to you. Leo looked like he wanted to kill someone and that someone was standing a few feet away from him. Turns out that Leonardo... The love of your life and the leader of the Hamato Family has a Dark side to him.   

 You continued to stare at Leo for what seemed like an eternity when you heard Luke mumbling under his breath until he started screaming. "Y-you... BITCH... I'LL FUCKIN KILL YOU... YOU HEAR ME?! I'LL KILL YOU!!"    

Just as he was about lunge in to attack you, Leo with his ninja reflex grabbed his wrists, tightening his grip causing him to yelp and fall to his knees.

"What did you say you were going to do to her?" Leo asked his voice getting darker almost sound deadly. "GET THE HELL OFF ME YOU FUCKIN FREAK! THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND!" Luke yelled, even more, trying to get his wrist out of Leo's grasp.

"I think not, this beautiful woman wants nothing more to do with you. So my suggestion to you is that you leave immediately while you still have some dignity left. And a friendly word of advice... If you ever threaten her or if I ever catch you around her again... Guarantee the next time we meet... Will be the last time." Leo warned him in a low growl in Lukes' ear.

   Leo released Luke out of his hand making him stumble backward. Clutching his wrist, he glanced over in your direction giving you a very evil glare. He didn't have to say anything but you knew he was saying that he's gonna be back when Leo's not around. Looking out the window, you watched as Luke exited out of the apartment building while still clutching his wrists. Leo then placed his hand on your shoulder, holding you close with his cellphone to his ear.

"Hey, Don?.... Did you get the picture I sent you?.... I'll explain everything when I get there, right now I need you to prep the spare room... Thanks, bro see you in a bit."   

   You kept looking out the window watching as Luke was out of sight allowing you to let out a sigh of relief. You still couldn't believe that he would stoop this low but then again... Yeah, you could. Luke always did get a little out of hand when he's drunk... Just not to this extent. You began to feel sorry for the guy but you had to remember he did this to himself, this whole situation was because of him and now he has to live with the consequences. Still trying to process all that went down, Leo finally spoke up breaking you out of your trance.

"Hey... You ok?" He asked caressing your shoulder.

"Hmm?... Oh yeah, I'm fine... Just trying to figure out how he found me..."

"We'll figure that out later, right now I need you to pack your things."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because I made arrangements for you to stay at the lair for awhile. There's a chance this guy will come back after when I'm not here and I am not willing to take that risk."

"Come on Leo... You know you don't have to look after me, I can take care of myself."

"Yes (y/n) I understand that, but if anything were to happen to you... I-I'll never be able to forgive myself. I... I care about you too much to take that chance. 

       What Leo actually wanted to say is 'I love you' but of course he stopped himself because 1 This was not the best time to say and 2. He was just too afraid for those words to come out of his mouth. You were about to say something when you can see just from looking into his eyes the fear and sadness as he pleaded with you to stay at his place. He wanted more than nothing to keep you safe and this was the best option.

"Please (y/n)... You can still go about your daily routine, the only difference is that you'll be staying in the sewers. Please let me and my family protect you." Leo begged once more holding you in his arms.

   Sighing softly in defeat, you quietly nodded your head to Leo's plea. Immediately Leo's frown turned in to a small smile. "Alright... I'll go pack my stuff." You sighed again before walking into your room.

   Within an hour you and Leo arrived back at the lair and came face to face with his entire family who was obviously really worried plus awaiting for an explanation. Gathering into the common room, Leo took his time to explain what just went down before they arrived.

"So that's why I sent Don of the guy. I want him to-"

"Track down his whereabouts, find out how he found (y/n's) apartment and get a full background history on him. Got it bro, I'm already on it... Anything to help (y/n) out." Don smiled cutting off his brother the proceeded to the lab.

"W-wait guys you don't have to do this... Really I can handle Luke on my own." You rebuttal

   And just like their brother, the boys plus Splinter were not hearing. Especially considering how the whole situation turned out.

"No way Dollface... ain't no way we're gonna let ya deal with this phycho by yourself." Raph argued placing his hand on your shoulder.

"That's right Anglecake, you're one of us now, we gotcha back." Mikey grinned hugging you tightly.

"My sons are right Ms. (l/n), you're now a member of this family. And we never let one of our own go up against danger alone." Splinter assured while stroking his beard.

   Hearing Splinter and guys claiming you as a member of their family instantly brought tears to your eyes that you have fought so hard to hold back. The only family you had was your mom and April, but to be called a member of the Hamato Clan was a true honor and made your heart swell with joy.

"Heh... Thanks everyone so much... For everything." You chuckled wiping away your tears.

   Leo smiled, took you by the hand and led you to the spare bedroom he had Donnie prepare for you. As you walked away with your crush in hand, Don, Raph, Mikey and Master Splinter watched in admiration. Splinter especially, he was really proud and happy that his eldest son found someone to protect and care about deeply. Raph on the other hand..., Although he was happy for his bro deep down he couldn't help but feel a little jealous of him. Raph has always been jealous of Leonardo a.k.a Fearless Leader ever since they were small. And the fact that his big brother now has a new girlfriend, made Raph even more envious. But he decided to push those feelings aside mostly for your sake and Leo's... For now anyway.

   Meanwhile, Leo brought you to the spare room that would be staying for a while. It didn't have much, but there was a bed, a dresser with a mirror and closet. 

"So this is where you'll be staying." Leo spoke as he watched you walk in and look around your new room. "It's not much but-"

"It's perfect Leo thank you... And if you're still worried about being mad at you, don't because I'm not. I know you're only trying to help and look out for my well being." You responded cutting him off. "It's just I've never really had anyone looking out for me it was always the other way around."

   Leo just looked at you while you spoke then sat on the bed. If anyone knew exactly how you felt it was him. He's always been the only looking out for everyone especially his brothers. Making sure they were safe, basically doing anything he could for his brothers... Even it means sacrificing himself for them.

"I know how you feel (y/n) and I know how overbearing that can be. I mean I'm the oldest of my brothers plus the leader of our team. Every night when we go out on patrol or some kind of mission, I have to make some very tough calls or quick decisions. And every time... I get criticized for it by my brothers. They really don't understand what kind of pressure I'm under just to keep them safe from harm. I love my brothers don't get me wrong, I only wish they understand what it's like to be me and not have time to take care of yourself." Leo explained staring at the ground before him.

   Upon listening to what Leo had to say, you couldn't help but feel for him. Your heart ached for him because you could see so much of yourself in him. Out of everyone you knew, Leo was the only one who seemed to understand you, which explains why you felt so attracted to him. Even now despite everything that went on, you could feel the attraction grow even stronger. You sat down next to him, gently placed your hand on his cheek turning his head so he was facing you. Staring into each other's eyes which seemed for hours, unknowingly you and Leo were inching closer to where you could feel one another's breath. He continued to stare into your eyes, gently moving a strand of your hair behind hair, immediately causing your cheeks to turn rosy red and leaned in against his hand sighing with content. Leo of course still couldn't get over the fact that such a beautiful woman like you was sitting right here beside him, touching his face and close enough to where he can feel your lips on yours. Basically making him want to protect you even more so than before. You looked back up at him and could quickly tell he was in deep thought about something.

"What's going on through that brain of yours?" You asked in a soft voice.

   He was going to answer but instead, he decided that he would rather show you what he was thinking by doing something that he's been wanting to do for months. Without hesitation, Leo gently pressed his lips onto yours. Naturally, you were shocked by the ordeal, which soon faded when you found yourself kissing him back. It pretty much felt like your lips were dancing amongst each other. However, Leo wanted to take a step further and hoping you would comply. He slowly ran his tongue over your lips asking your permission to enter. You gave a soft nod with a smile. Before you knew it, your tongue was now swirling and dancing along with his causing the both of you to let out a soft moan. Seconds later, without realizing it Leo then pulled you on to his lap. His hands were now slowly and gently caressing your back down to your hips. But like they say, "All good things must come to an end." And that end came when there was a sudden knock at the door causing the two of you to jump.

"Hey bro... I ordered pizza in case you and (y/n) were hungry." Mikey called out from the other side.

"Oh... Umm thanks Mikey we'll be there in a minute." Leo answered back while waiting for his heart to catch up with the rest of him.

   You and Leo looked at each other once everything calmed down and an instant blush came over you. "Whew... That was umm... Incredible." You panted softly.

"Hehe... Yeah, it was..." Leo chuckled still processing that he just experienced his very first kiss.

   He wanted to keep going he really did, but after everything that happened in the last few hours, he didn't wanna push it not to mention he was sure you were hungry and to be honest so was he.

"Well we better get out there or Mikey will try to eat everything before we could get the chance."

"Yeah and I better call April to let her know what's been going on."

   As you headed out to join the others, you grabbed your phone to call your best friend but then noticed her coming in along with Casey.

"Hey, I was just about to call you." You announced getting her attention.

"(Y/n)? What are you doing here? I thought you'd be at home already." April asked surprised to see you.

"Yeah, it's a long story... I'll explain."

[kweebtrash]

So, I'm gonna take forever to answer this because there's so much to say. First and foremost, I love you a lot. I love how much you've supported me, all your funny play by plays, how much you've reblogged and liked my stuff, all our DM convos, STEVEN GETTING INTO IT. I love you sm.

About your background stories there's a part of me that wants to say I wish I could take your pain away because I'm the defensive mom friend that will go into battle for anyone. But also, things happen to make us stronger, fucking shitty things that make us want to die, cry, seclude ourselves, the whole 9. And it takes forever to fucking get over but once you do it's like the most liberating shit ever. I never thought that like a simple fanfic about Johnny would help someone so much. This was literally for fun and somehow turned into my own therapy too.

I'm not really one to put my personal history out there (no shade to you! I'm so happy you shared this with me, I'm just closed off because I have trust issues lmao🙃🙃🙃) but I've said it kinda in passing that messy has a bunch of influences from my life. Sometimes not exact but with enough behind it that it became a release. Again, how the fuck does fanfiction do this??? Like bro, I just wanna fuck Johnny and instead I just was like wow let me pour my trauma into this lol.

Eri is a self insert(only cooler, hotter, sluttier, more amazing lmao. Also no shit on the self insert. That's what we all do). I have depression, anxiety, a mood disorder where I become violently angry and overstimulated to the point where I think really bad things. I've cried in bathtubs while self harming, I've bled, I've had my family worrying about me killing myself. I've had to go back to Puerto Rico to watch my grandpa die without a say in anything and had a panic attack where I barely remember anything. I got drunk at a bar with my sister before then and had a fight with my mom. Christmas was hard in 2018 because it was the first time that I had spent one away from my mom because she stayed back to take care of my grandma (who died 6 mths after my grandpa), my dad was a drug addict as a kid and I witnessed abuse as a 4 yr old (but even with all that my dad was a good dad and tried his best)so like lmao time to cry but yeah, that's why when people say messy is so realistic it's because shit happened to me. I'm a queer poc who's faced discrimination, am I even black enough just because I recognize my African roots? Does it not count because I'm not darker? Does it not count because I'll never be completely black? How does your hair get so curly? Water, bitch, tf. Black lives matter, injustices among us, fucking the U.S. going to shit, the world going to shit. Eventually bits and pieces made its way into messy and don't even ask me how.

Even Johnny's assault was a spur of the moment thing but men who have been assaulted get ignored, especially the "masculine" ones who society thinks would never have that happen. And to make something (fictionally) bad happen to someone I love was weird, a story plot but also turned into something that I wanted to have significance.

I've wanted to be a writer since I was younger and basically messy is a novel but somehow I can't sit down and write an actual novel??? Idk how or why lol but making someone think about things or have readers feel a connection to your work I think is something we all want.

As for the babies lol, in general they do have some happy moments in their future. I dreamed it and though I may not necessarily write it out rest assured they're happy😅😂. Idk if my next series will have the same impact (I don't do it intentionally, I write what pops in my head) but it would be cool if they did, at the very least I just hope people enjoy it and have fun anyway.

Anyway, fuck bro, like amazing for trusting me, trusting other sweet angel babies to read this, and if anyone else wants to share that's cool too♥️ I'm not shy(online).

[peonybane]

My main groups

Oh boy. Thanks for the ask, I’ll try to go as in-depth as possible. Get ready for me to just fucking gush.

So I have two main groups: VIXX and BTS.

Please read below the break because this is long as hell. This is also a repost as Tumblr is a dumb dumb.

VIXX:

Voice, Visuals, Values in Excelsis (I know doesn’t make sense but that’s what the boys names themselves). They are the Concept Kings for a reason: Space Vampires, Voodoo Dolls, Cyborgs/Androids, Time, the Greek God trilogy, Perfumes, Duality (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) and so many others.

I consider myself to be a STARLIGHT in terms of kpop first before anything else other than just enjoying all of it. VIXX will always be my number one group because they helped me out of a really dark place in my life and because of that, I can’t really replace them with anyone else. With that being said, I look at them as if they are my older brothers, which makes looking at them in a sexual way almost impossible for me (despite one of the fancams later, I just think that fancam is so interesting). So I am very, very soft towards them. I almost cried at a concert for Ravi because I was so moved at being able to meet someone I very much look up to.

So even though I was technically introduced to kpop via either BigBang (with Fantastic Baby) or BTS (with DNA), it wasn’t until VIXX that I really got into them.

My first song with VIXX was Error. I had never seen anything like Error before and it fascinated me, I was really hooked by that video. My sister and I watched that video about… 20 times in a row. And I never looked back.

My bias is Ravi. For those who don’t: he is the Rapper of the group as well as one of the main dancers. He has a deep ass voice, he looks rather scary, but he is probably one of the purest human beings on the planet. He’s a workaholic, he’s the best dog dad, he’s a shy, sweet mess (he’s best friends with Jimin of BTS and Kai of EXO, if that don’t explain much, nothing will). I saw him in concert this past May and it was just… I was in awe. He’s very down to earth and tall as fuuuuuuuuck (all of them are, the shortest is 5′11). He recently left Jellyfish Entertainment (Jelpi) to start his own production agency, GROOVL1N. The most fascinating thing about this for me is that he left on good terms with Jelpi and is still part of VIXX. No entertainment company is perfect, but I think is pretty damn close. They give their artists artistic freedom, they protect their privacy fiercely (STARLIGHTS not particularly invasive, but no one really knows anything about their private lives), and they don’t force their artists to do things that would be bad for them (I can’t find the footage, but there have been instances where instead of telling Leo not to eat, they try to make him eat, I’ll talk about that more later). What Jelpi lacks is promoting and caring about international fans. I’m pretty sure that’s why Ravi left because even though they are on good terms, that is what Jelpi lacks and Ravi really makes the international STARLIGHTS (I mean they all do, but Ravi especially) feel like they are loved.

Favorite song is kinda hard. For Title Tracks, G.R.8.U., On and On, and Fantasy are definitely tied for first place. For non-title tracks, Trigger and Light Me Up (little bit of a cheat, this is one of my favorite performances and this the Rock version) fuck me up and get me hyped. My favorite Japanese Track is Depend on Me which is basically the exact opposite of Chained Up. Because they love their STARLIGHTS so much, they have a song dedicated to us on each album, so my favorite STARLIGHT song is Milky Way.

My bias wrecker (lord help me) is Hyuk. Hyuk is the maknae of the group. He started out of the pipsqueak of the group and now dominates his hyung. He clocks in at about 6′4 and is a fucking wall. He looks like a Samoyed. He’s got a lovely voice. He sounds like Onew of SHINee. He’s incredibly manly and is weird AF. He recently made his solo debut this last winter with the ballad, Boy with a Star.

So my favorite Era was… the Conception Era. This is sort of a cheat as it encompasses a concept trilogy. It’s based on three greek gods of masculine traits which tell a love story conceptually: Zelos (god of rivalry, zeal, and jealousy) with Dynamite, Hades (god of wealth, the afterlife, and desire) Fantasy, which I think is a retelling of the Orpheus myth, and finally Kratos (god of strength and rule) with the Closer. It’s just a beautiful interconnected era.

My favorite fancams…

This Chained Up Ravi Focus (gird your loins)

This “Manager Kim” Concert video

This “(Im)perfect Boyfriends to Order” Concert video

Hyukspatch

Toy Story Fantasy Performance (if you watch nothing else, watch this)

There’s certainly more but this is what came to mind immediately.

Little tidbits otherwise, I’ll never get to BTS:

Hongbin is my icon. He’s the visual of the group, the sub rapper, he’s a gamer (has his own twitch, don’t know how to get to it since I don’t have twitch), and he’s probably the most under appreciated. Enjoy his Cool Love collab with Hyungwon of Monsta X.

N, Mr. Cha Hakyeon, is the leader of the group and he’s your favorite whether or not you believe it to be. He is currently doing his military service. We all though we would not see or hear from while he’s doing his service… I see his face everyday on my dash and I love his egg head. He was in the Children of Nobody and he’s an amazing dancer.

Ken is the would be maknae of the group and I would say that’s he’s got not only the best voice in the group, but also the best eyebrows. He’s all about acting cutesy. He is a stage actor and is absolutely amazing. I want to see one of his plays one of these days.

Now, before you come for me with your pitchforks, I love all of them, just some of them piss me off more than others, but I wouldn’t get this mad if I didn’t care. Leo pisses me the hell off. He needs someone to take care of him because he’s sacrificing his mental and physical health to satisfy people who don’t actually care about him. At roughly 6 feet tall, he weighs between 130 to 145 pounds. He’s talked about some behavior that is incredibly unhealthy and it breaks my heart (he talked about how he once binge ate then worked out until he practically passed out). He’s talked about how he’s absolutely drained after a practice for his solo and… his choreography is incredibly simple. I hate that he feels like he has to be impossibly skinny for people to love him.

Moving on from the angry stuff, VIXX is one of the nation’s prides. The president of Korea is a known fan of VIXX and the last time I checked, N is STILL one of the promotional images on the president’s website.

If you have any questions for me about VIXX, please let me know and I’d love to talk about it.

BTS:

I’m going to be a little more brief with BTS, since the majority of people know them.

So as mentioned before my first song with BTS is DNA. It didn’t leave a big impression on me. It was simply something I’d play in the background while I was finishing up work for the evening at my old job. Dope is the song that really pulled me in. I don’t know what it is about it, but it just really pulled me in.

I am *sigh* double biased, something that @ropeseok​ has made me come to terms with. My ideal is Namjoon. I really like his voice, I think he’s adorable with his hard exterior and ooeygooey center. It also helps that he’s, well, kinda like me in that he’s a brain. My other bias is Taehyung. He is probably the more realistic type of person to me. I like the idea of Namjoon. But Tae… Tae is more of the person that I need. He’s very touchy, he’s emotional, he’s true, he’s sweet, a bit child like, he’s very intelligent, but keeps it on the down low. If that makes sense.

My favorite title track is Boy in Luv. I can listen to it forever. For non-title tracks it would be First Love, Magic Shop, and Persona. My favorite Japanese Track is Crystal Snow.

Since Tae had been my bias wrecker for a while, I don’t really think I have one BUT because of someone’s influence… probably Jin. Fine, I’ll admit it, I’m a Kim line heaux.

My favorite era…. it really depends on each boy. Like for Namjoon, I love the Danger and Not Today eras. For Jin, it would have to be, ironically enough, anytime of the early eras cuz he looks lovely as hell with eyeliner and I just think he’s got this hidden bad boy energy that was able to come out during this time. For Yoongi is would be MIC DROP. He was in his fucking element. Plain and simple. For Hoseok, it was Blood, Sweat, and Tears, BST was probably one of their best eras overall, but Hoseok just fucking made it his bitch. For Jimin it was BST as well but also any of the early eras. Like Jin, he’s got this hidden ferocity that I feel like is being kept hidden behind a closely guarded wall. I also just like his hair black and when he wasn’t necessarily starving himself. For Tae… Fake Love. I think he really found his element with the ballads like Singularity and darker themes, especially now that he’s all grown up and doesn’t look like a child. For Jungkook… Dope. There was something about the uniform and the energy that really just fit him.

I’m not going to do favorite famcams as the moment I start collecting videos, I’m going to be overwhelmed with different versions and this is already ridiculously long.

Tidbits:

I really like their darker works. I really wish they’d go back to those.

I don’t want anymore collaborations with Western artists. I think it would be really cool if they collabed with another Korean group or artist. I would like to see Jimin and Ravi work together. I think their different voices would work amazingly together.

I am probably the most similar to Jimin. Everyone’s who’s ever known me and knows Kpop often compares me to Jimin.

Yeontan, along with Ravi’s dog, Butt, are my fashion icons.

Once again, I love them all, but if I had to name my least favorites, it would have to be Jimin and Jungkook. Jimin because, he’s incredibly hard for me to write. I get extremely frustrated writing about him. I work best when there’s a certain amount of emotional/psychological distance between me and the person I’m writing about because then I can comfortably extrapolate. He and I are way too close, which makes it hard for me to really describe him as someone else if that makes sense. As for Jungkook, I have a very hard time understanding him. I know that a lot of people love mysterious people, but I find them to be incredibly frustrating. I think he’s incredibly talented and nice, but I’m frustrated by the fact that’s impossible for me to get an idea of what he’s like beyond that surface layer.

So that is that.

I hope you got your answer sweet Anon. I am so sorry that is was so freaking long.

-UwU~

250 followers ask game

[justanotherdumpingground]

Chapter Reviews: June 18-22, 2019 + Plan for TRH

Wishful thinking Chapter 11:

Dang, things have gotten more tense because of Charlie forcing the MC to accept a bribe to pay for her dad's medical bills in order to silence her. What's really crazy is that Anna coincidentally arrived at the hospital after Charlie left.

Ouch at the MC losing her telepathy. And even more so when Aubrey said he wished she would say something to make him feel better. Honestly, what is wrong with this selfish moron? The MC's dad just got hospitalized, which is causing her stress, and that is what he said? If he wants to feel better, then he sould've just go back to reading his explicit books for all I care. At least Jaime and Anna are more supportive.

Well, hello there, Ellen. I know we'll have to work with you to take Charlie down. Sure she's no saint, but there's no denying that she's up to something, and she has made valid points. Not to mention that she mentioned working on an environmental piece, which foreshadows this whole shebang. Considering it a situation where the enemy of my enemy is my friend, though the MC and Ellen are still far from friendly to each other.

Nightbound Chapter 10:

The fight against zombies was pretty intense as far as I'm concerned. I'm glad everyone, MC included, put up a good fight. Even better was when I picked the premium option to sound the horn and summon a giant alligator to fight the zombies. The real and pleasant surprise is that the alligator AKA Chompers is surprisingly friendly towards the MC. I hope to see it again.

I kinda didn't expect the bloodwraith summoner to be revealed in the middle, mainly because I thought it would be revealed near the end. Anyway, I find Cassiopeia and Thomas intriguing characters. Cass was undoubtedly used by Thomas, who exploited her desperation for companionship stemming from childhood. That didn't excuse her actions, but it ensures that her actions and motivations make sense. Likewise, Thomas's hatred of the supernatural coming from their perceived abuse of power shows how one can go great lengths in response to perceived injustices. Definitely captured my whole interest.

I'm looking forward to see how the meeting with Lord Elric goes as well as his monster tear. What if he has secrets to share for the MC?

Passport to Romance Chapter 15:

I feel like I'm not shown much of London aside from the Tower Bridge and a few food the main cast at, but I never saw any pictures of. Just shows how this book fails to immerse me in terms of both plot and decisions. I don't even pick the option to help Marisa call Tristao out, for instance.

Honestly, what is up with William suddenly promoting Elliot to a top spot in the family company? At least there's a board member who objected to it because she knows Elliot is unqualified for the job. I mean, all he does is mooch off of the family money as he travels around the world.

At first, it seems like the main cast finally gets a taste of what it feels like to not having enough money to keep up with their blog, but because of this story, they finally find a way to do it *cough*Elliot*cough*. And not to mention Yvette's right to be angry at the MC's ungrateful behavior for their unprofessional behavior.

Honestly, it's good riddance that this story's a standalone. I was okay with it for the first few chapters, but nothing really interesting happened, and my interest gradually decreased. There really should've been conflict in this story aside from the MC's struggle with maintaining their blog's integrity amidst Yvette's demands, but even then it has little effect on the story. Not to mention that the main cast isn't that great except Sumire, who's ultimately wasted potential because she doesn't even have a subplot nor any conflict with anyone.

Platinum Chapter 5:

When Ellis Knight said he's providing the MC the best apartment for her, I was expecting a recycled background art of Adrian Raines's luxurious suite, not Nadia Park's apartment. Oh well. At least Platinum MC's rise to fame is less easier than I thought. Yet at the same time, I need to keep an eye on Ellis because he might pose a threat in the next book if this story turns out to be a success.

Anyway, I like Zadie, Ozone, Luna, and Wade already. The clothes Zadie provides to the MC are beautiful, and I look forward to work with the other three.

I'm still uninterested in the romance aspect. Sure it's nice to have friends among famous singers like Avery and Raleigh, but as I've said earlier, I'm burnt out on the romance aspect that I just need to shift my focus away from it. That hasn't stopped me from feeling cautious on the potential scandal my MC just got herself into with Raleigh, however.

Red Carpet Diaries Chapter 3:

Why are we using Chazz's vision instead of coming up with my own? And why does he suggest cutting out an important female lead? As a player, I barely know about this Secret of Ninradell crap, yet the narrative doesn't allow me to know what it's all about. At least he's right about not every movie having to be romance. This should apply to most, if not all, Choices stories, even if getting rid of Byrony would ruin the movie.

Meeting with Marianne was okay, though it was also weird that she also suggested getting rid of Byrony. I seriously think she shoehorned the romance aspect of her book. At least the MC has the rights to the movie.

Premium scenes with Hunt and Matt? No thanks. I'm interested in neither, not to mention that I've chosen to be exclusive with Victoria.

The Elementalists Chapter 11:

It was nice and relaxing to spend time with Shreya and learn more about her family. I admire her and Nehal's ambition, and I wish her luck in her achevements.

I picked the premium outfit but not the hair because I love the former and feel eh about the latter. It doesn't do much aside from compliments, but I still love the outfit. Anyway, it was fairly easy to get Kavya's support despite the chaos that was about to follow. And I finally get answers from Greygarden Waithe. Man, I can't wait to see how this mystery unravels.

Bloodbound Chapter 6:

Dang, that was a mind-blowing chapter! Seeing Gaius fight against the council member easily grabbed my full attention. Every time Adrian and Kamilah seemed to have an upper hand, he easily showed them he isn't to be trifled with. Thank goodness they, along with the MC and Jax made it out safely.

Oh, of course Priya is in cahoots with Gaius. I never liked her since I first played Bloodbound, and. Sure she's a cunning villain, but she's also really psychopathic, selfish, and egotistical. Can't wait to bring her down to a peg like I did with Nicole.

Pity I couldn't afford to go after Jameson and determine his fate. This premium option is definitely on my to-pick list.

Man, Lester's death recorded live and used to persuade vampires to join his cause or die sets the tone for darker things to come. My guess is that Clans Raines, Sayeed, and Matsuo will oppose him while the other three will join him. Regarding Lester, he's starting to remind me of Jocelyn Wu in some ways. Sure they're unsavory people, but they set their priorities straight. In Jocelyn's case, she may be a bully, but she knows the moss creatures Redfield unleashed are a true threat compared to her targets. In Lester's case, he knows the feral problem and Gaius are bigger threats to his power than some clanless upstart like Jax. He's someone I have a begrudging respect for.

Anyone upset that Kamilah and Lily are sidelined for now in favor of Adrian and Jax? A part of me thinks Lily should've gone instead of Jax because of her technological expertise that might come in handy. As for this Seraphine lady, I'll see whether she's friend or foe.

On The Royal Heir:

For The Royal Heir, I've decided not to write reviews on this. Instead, I'm writing something like annals that embellish the MC's journey. Stay tuned for them.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Special Valentines Day Post...

... Zi-O 22 subbed.

Okay, maybe special in name only.

... I’m kinda scared, actually.

In no order:

GTFO Kuro Woz, I’m mad at you right now.

Poor Sougo gets Rider Kicked out of the Mirror World. Poor baby. DX

GEIZ! HONEY! BABY! You’re fine, stop it! God, why are you like this? I mean, I love you, but... Honey. Stop. Tsukuyomi, smack him. Actually don’t, that wouldn’t help.

God he’s so dramatic, though. I mean, it’s Geiz. Can’t do anything by halves here.

Okay. Wow. That was... Actually kinda a jerk thing to say, Tsukuyomi. Talk about not helpful. So he was wangsting a little, you didn’t have to go there.

Like, Geiz is upset bc he was looking at things purely as a, well, soldier, and briefly considered going through w/ Shiro Woz’s idea to stop the attacks and other people getting hurt, and is clearly being like ‘I’m such a terrible person for this.’ He expresses this to Tsukuyomi, and her response is ‘Yeah, Sougo didn’t even think about it.’ Like... I’m sorry, what? He’s clearly hurting over this already and all you say is basically imply ‘yeah, you’re not as good as Sougo’???? I will totally buy that she didn’t actually mean it that way, but that was very much how it sounded. You really couldn’t say something like ‘Sure, maybe you thought about it, but you didn't go through w/ it, why don’t you consider that?’ Man, no wonder he’d turned away from her when they camerawomen pulled back...

And then she just follows it up w/ asking about if he thinks Sougo will become Puma Zi-O. Tsukuyomi, how about comforting your friend a little? You’ve apparently got enough compassion to save the life of the person who murders your father in the future, but you can’t be bothered to show any for someone who is allegedly your childhood friend? Sweetie, I love you, really, but... Really?

Especially since it’s immediately followed by Ryuga attacking someone else. Like... Yes, I don’t agree w/ Shiro Woz’s plan, it probably wouldn’t work and sacrificing an innocent person is never a good course. But I can totally understand Geiz, esp given his background, thinking about it, given the circumstances (since there’s apparently no other way to beat Ryuga w/out a Kamikaze attack). He deserved a better response than essentially being told Sougo was a better person.

Again, I absolutely want to think she didn’t mean it that way. But that was what it sounded like to me.

Speaking of Sougo... Eh, he’s fine.

Alright, I may been a little annoyed at Tsukuyomi rn, but her and Geiz’s reactions in this scene remain gold.

Geiz just closing his eyes like ‘someone please shoot me...’

Also, the urge to punch something is just emanating from him in waves...

Sougo’s just lying there giggling like ‘whelp, no way out of this one...’

I... I thought you guys established this in the previous ep...

Oh, I’m sorry Tsukuyomi, you care now? Okay, okay. I’m being overly critical, I know. That earlier scene just really hit a nerve for me.

Sou is really cute, and also really good at the ‘sad puppy’ kind of look.

Geiz teleports to the front door again.

THANK YOU SOUGO. See? THAT’S a good response, Tsukuyomi. Not something that’s basically a guilt-trip. You want to mention it after, fine. It’s something to consider in the ‘will Sougo become Puma Zi-O’ brainstorming, absolutely. But you could’ve at least tried to reassure him a bit first, so it doesn’t, you know, come across as you telling him he’s a bad person compared to Sougo.

Again, I’m really sorry for going on about this one little thing. Like I said, hit a nerve.

Has Sougo tried to sacrifice himself at this point? Like, I don’t doubt he would, but... I guess she’s just saying theoretically? Or she’s referring to the ‘take me out if I go evil thing?’

Oh, wait, I guess he did try to kill his future self. I don’t know if that counts, though.

This is sweet and all, Tsukuyomi, but I’m still mad about what you said to Geiz.

I think ‘subjects’ is just gonna be Sougo’s little cute-though-also-obnoxious personal tic...

Now really starting to wonder if the ‘reason’ Sougo becomes Puma Zi-O was just... Always destined to be tied to Geiz somehow? I have wild and unlikely theories, but...

Angry puppy is yelling at sad puppy.

Seriously, as long as it’s also Sou I can’t feel threatened by Mirror¡Sougo.

Still trying to get used to Shiro Woz.

So... Did he write that, or... Did it appear? If you wrote it... Well, like I said. He’s strangely tolerable for this episode.

Oh, yeah, and:

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Make up your mind, dude. Are you for helping, or not?

I still say bring back Woz.5.

Well... Technically he’s Kamen Rider Ryuki... Was... You know what, not gonna go into it. I already spoiled Ryuki up the wazoo in my Raw post.

I’m not even listening, I’m just watching him make the Shinji faces. XD

dude, it’s literally an evil, warped version of you. I’ve met the real you, he’s a sweetheart. Even Ron liked him. And Ron didn’t like anyone.

I love how every time we see this fight now, it’s just Geiz sitting down somewhere watching Shiro Woz get blasted. Which is a valid pastime.

Puppy debate! ^^

Mirror¡Sougo has the cutest ‘evilly confused’ face ever.

Still hoping for the thing to be that being a king doesn’t necessarily mean ‘ruling over’ people? If that makes sense? Like, he could be called the ‘King of Time’ bc he’s got powers over time, and it’s cool, rather than ruling it? Like, and I know many people didn’t like it, but, the way Daigo was nicknamed ‘King’ in Kyoryuger? He wasn’t a ‘king’ King, but he got called ‘king.’ If that makes any sense whatsoever.

 See, I definitely believe she cares about him very much, but she really choose her words poorly in that scene, and I feel like she should apologise for that. Just a ‘I wasn’t trying to imply you were a bad person or Sougo was better than you, I was just considering what this meant for him in regards to Puma Zi-O.’

Aaaagh! There I go again! Man, that one line just really got under my skin somehow...

Love how it does, like, a little laser-pointer effect.

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

In my defence, I wrote the most recent chapters of It Is The Clock’s Pendulum before this episode came out.

This scene is very serious, and heartbreaking, and sad. Geiz is my favourite.

...

I am losing it at Another Ryuga just chilling over by the tree.

Shiro Woz.exe has stopped functioning.

Weird sound effects when Sougo shows up???

Still wish they coulda given him more of a reaction. He does kinda do the sad puppy look, I suppose. Still.

Also wish Tsukuyomi could have had a better response to Geiz earlier... Can I just pretend those things happened?

How did he see the future? Did he just... Turn into Zi-O II on the way over? What does that even MEAN?

Sougo: ‘Fuck this timeline!’

The brief Woz-Fight is still funny. during this episode, I’d actually prefer that Shiro Woz win. But just for this episode.

I would always prefer that Woz.5 win.

I love how Geiz just... Doesn’t deHenshin. Like, He and Tsukuyomi are trying to follow this battle, but he just... Refuses to drop his transformation. For whatever reason.

Seriously? Your sword has your face on it and it compliments you? Who made these?

Yeah, Geiz is just literally blaming himself here. What do you mean ‘this time’ though? I guess... You mean all the times it was Woz? I actually think we can totally blame this on Woz, too. Though the Kamikaze stuff might have been a trigger, I’ll admit.

No, wait. What am I saying. This is obviously Decade’s fault.

The fact that it literally is is the best part.

Tsukuyomi, would it kill you to not let Geiz blame himself for everything this episode? -_-

Though I guess this is the ‘Tsukuyomi is suddenly weirdly angry’ scene...

Like... I’m really starting to think this is personal. I guess this is the power he used to kill her father? Pity we never brought that up before.

Though now that I think about it, that could be it. Puma Zi-O did use some sort of time-stop-manipulation ability when he dusted Dad, so that might be why she’s reacting like this.

Geiz, on the other hand, is really unsure.

Tsukuyomi, are you really that shocked that people have darker sides to them? You never met Kisaragi Gentaro, you have no excuse for (apparently) assuming Sougo has no traits that would ever lead to him becoming Puma Zi-O in some way.

Though I am admittedly not clear on what exactly those traits were... I guess his habit of being wily and the fact that wanting to be ‘king’ comes w/ wanting power? So... Ambition is evil here? I dunno.

I guess it’s all or nothing w/ Tsukuyomi. Though she could specifically be referring to ‘We have to actually decide whether or not we’re gonna kill him’ rather than saying ‘we should kill him.’ TV show cliffhanger tactic, make everything round more threatening than it actually is.

It’d be interesting if she and Geiz do switch up, though. Bc he’s the one who was super black and white (no references to any Wozes intended) about it at the start. ‘If I even think you’re going to turn into Puma Zi-O, I’m taking you out,’ and how quick he was to go for it in the Genm arc. But here... He seems really uncertain still (probably not helped by the fact that Sougo did this to save his life), while for Tsukuyomi, a line has clearly been crossed. It’d be an interesting way to twist things up if they do go that way.

Oh, yeah, and the two times Tsukuyomi talks at the camera this ep are still creepy.

I’m winder if the look Geiz just gave her was meant to be a ‘wtf?’ look. Bc it kinda looks like one? It also could be something else, I dunno. Maybe he’s just looking serious.

SHUT UP KURO WOZ.

I love how we don’t even see him, Kamen Rider Kikaider just freaking steals the shot.

Also, hi Kikaider!

Why is he punching me, though?

Freaking Zi-O II Watch is freaking huge in the end cap.

Kamen Rider Zi-O takes notes from LuPat and only schedules this actor for two episodes.

Man, he’s very good looking, though. Even in that outfit. Bet he uses the wrench to transform.

The fact that this ep ended w/ Tsukuyomi, of all people, apparently saying they need to kill Sougo (like I said, could just be a cliffhanger scare-tactic), then it goes to the preview of Sougo running around w/ some sort of ‘studying’ bandana on (I assume it’s studying bc the summary said he’s cramming for finals, essentially. Or midterms.) talking to some dude in a yellow turtle neck and a denim jacket that’s just a little too short. Whiplash.

Oh, wow, he’s from 2121? So that makes him the first/only future Rider we’ve had that’s from after the year that Geiz, Tsukuyomi, and the Wozes come from (in any timeline)!

Also interesting, bc it means he definitely won’t be around in any way in 2019. Not even as a baby.

Oh, hey, Sworz. I... Honestly almost forgot about you. Sorry!

This preview is trying to make me think the boys are competing, and I refuse to accept it until proven.

Or if it is, maybe it’s friendly. Or maybe it’s just ‘let’s both fight this thing, and, I dunno, one of us can take it down.’

My guess is Sworz is talking to Shiro Woz, but my knee-jerk reaction was ‘no, I don’t want to play a game w/ you.’

That’s all, folks! Virtual pond cake for anyone who read all that.

Anyway, I’m sorry I had such a reaction to that one line (well, two, kinda) of Tsukuyomi’s. It reminded me of a bad experience I had once and just really got on my nerves. I promise I still love her, and I know she does care about Geiz. I think some of her reaction to the Zi-O II power may have been bc of (well, I at least presume he was) her father? Bc remember, Puma Zi-O used the time powers to vaporise everyone, and he pushed her into the trench to protect her? So this may be her being like ‘I want to believe in him, but that’s the power that I literally watched kill my father, so now I’m freaking out.’ Also, it’s a beloved style of cliffhanger for any sort of tv show to make things sound more threatening than they really are. I dunno if Toei even remembers that (WHO IN TIME IS GOGGLES THE DEAD PERSON?), but that’s my initial thought.

Geiz looks super unsure, though? Like I think a line was crossed w/ Tsukuyomi now, but the line started crossed w/ Geiz. And I feel like it’s been getting... Uncrossed? Like, he started this so certain of what he needed to do and what was going to happen (I still think his plan was to go back, do it as quickly as possible, then get out before he had a chance to think about the fact that 2018 Sougo was still technically innocent, bc he knew he’d be too conflicted if he did), but he’s been steadily becoming less convinced of it? So, like, even now, he’s the one who’s still thinking they can still change things? Oh, well. We’ll see.

Special treat for anyone who actually read all this way (or just skipped to the bottom; in that case don’t read any further! No JK, you’re fine, I ramble a lot, I’m sorry), is a random concept/theory I had: What if Sougo’s recurring dreams when time is ‘altered’ (Shinobi, and now Kikaider no I will not stop) indicate that he’s somehow... Super connected to time? Like... If it were electricity, he’d be a conductor, or something? But then, like, Geiz and Tsukuyomi aren’t like that, but they’re like... ‘Anchors.’ Like, there are people who are sensitive to time, and kind of ‘flow’ w/ it, but then there anchors who keep them/it moored/grounded or something? Feel like this was a thing in Den-O, but I don’t remember the details. But, like the reason Sougo is able to get all these ‘time powers’ is bc he’s so sensitive to it? But it also means that it’s really easy for him to get... I dunno, absorbed by the time flow? And, like, Anchors can’t get all the wild powers, but they also are either impossible or significantly more resilient to the time flow? So, like... The wouldn’t get erased/absorbed (at least, not right away/as fast) if they like... Fell into the time stream? Augh! I’m bad at explaining. Point is, Sougo nearly gets absorbed into time stream, but the other two pull him back bc they’re anchors and they ground him in a particular time/location/time plane.

I don’t think that made any sense.

[parachutingkitten]

Season 4 Analysis

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I am going to be applying the concept of criticism to a TV show you presumably love and adore as much as I do. If you do not want your idea that the show is immaculate to be challenged, I would not advise reading past this point.

Mood for the season: It's a SuPeR fUn HaPpY pLaCe!!!!!

You don’t need to, but if you are interested, and haven’t seen my analysis of past seasons, you can find those here:

Pilot

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Hey guys! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Season 4! We are here! I am SO biased with this season. It has problems man. It has ALL the problems! ALL the plot holes! ALL the stupid, stupid stuff, but I LOVE ALL OF IT! okay, let's back up. I'm about to drop some context on you. 

So, when you're a military brat you tend to make friends with whoever you can, and when I lived in Germany I had a friend who was fandom OBSESSED. She, at the time, was super into Homestuck, something I managed to avoid being sucked into, though I do know more about it than I would like. Anyway, this was the point at which I started getting sucked into Ninjago. So, I figured that if I could trust anyone with a strange obsession, it was her. I showed her the last episode of season 3, and she decided she was just going to dive head first into it with me. We watched season 4 together as it came out, we talked about it, had a bunch of inside jokes about it, I wrote some very short fanfiction about it, she made some OCs, one in particular that I remember was Stormy, a ditzy cloud master who wore pink, we shipped him with... one of my OCs, I don't remember. She hadn't watched the first two seasons, so I had to fill her in on a lot, but she was the first person I ever fandomed with, and it was over season 4. So I guess you could say season 3 was the grand beginning of my love for this show, and season 4 was the peak of my fangirl experience (at least for that phase of my life).

Plot

This season is a real mixed bag. Coming off the heels of the first season, nothing makes sense. Suddenly there are more elements, completely discrediting Lloyd's supposed power of four powers. And now it's genetic, which brings up the problem of Jay, who... if either Ed or Edna were masters, they would have slipped by now (but also like, how cool would it be if Edna just busted out with lightning powers) and then Zane who... doesn't have genes. It makes the world bigger, yes, but it also discredits the lore of the last two seasons, and brings up the question "Where the hell were the rest of the EMs when the Great Devour attacked? Or the stone warriors? Or the final battle?!" Anyway, it's a bit jarring and sudden to say the least. It definitely was not planned beforehand. There aren't even any hints in season 3. Like wouldn't it be cool if in season 3 we saw them go to the noodle shop, or Wu was really vague about elemental questions. It would make a lot more sense then. Idk. It opens the universe up to the plotlines of most of the future seasons, but it does sort of discredit the first two. This season is also kinda choppy feeling wise. You go from the mood the past season have had in the first episode to this sort of native tribal feel on the island, and then the factory and then back to Ninjago. It's kinda a mess. Overall it was just an excuse to put these characters in cool situations (which I have done before, I understand). Which I get, and it makes for some cool stuff, but I don't think any of it ends up meshing together super well in the end. When I think of this season I think of the tournament. I forget about the whole snake stuff at the end most of the time. I forget about the while Garmadon conflict. The fact that I forget that's there has to be a bad sign, right?

Characters

Character work this season is really pretty good for the most part! There are a lot of new characters. And they all are very distinct and fun, and even when two people you don't know especially well battle, you're still really invested. All of the Cole and Jay stuff is pretty good this season! Major upgrade from season 3. The whole fight scene is absolutely fantastic. Garmadon is freaking awesome this season. He keeps on trying to kill himself, and it's stupid, and the show sort of acknowledges that it's stupid, cuz Lloyd is just like 'dude, what the heck'. Kai's arch this season is pretty good, exploring his darker side and putting that intense conflict in front of him was good. I can tell you one thing, I like it a heck of a lot better than season 7, but we'll get to that when we get to that. So, yeah. Overall improvement in character! It doesn't dive super deep or anything, but it all works and is all interesting.

Skylor

So... she is one of the reasons I call this season the fanfiction season. We have a whole bunch of other elemental masters we've never heard of, and one of them their power is... all the powers. I can not tell you how much this ticked me off! And she hardly ever uses them! She has pretty much infinite power, and she doesn't think to use it, pretty much ever! There are no restrictions on her! This is what I hate Skylor for. And I do mean hate. BUT aside from that, strictly character wise she is done pretty well. She feels pretty fake and overly sassy at the beginning of the season, but there's a reason for that. It's an act. But it's not like she changed her personality to fool him, she intensified her personality to cover her intentions. Her arch feels pretty natural. That one scene where she does the evil laugh... that was weird. But aside from that, it feels okay. She was raised to think that lying and cheating is the norm, so when someone presents her with another option she begins to change. It makes sense. I love the scene where Kai and her look at each other through the prison bars and (even though their freaking legos) you can feel her realization that she's ashamed of what she's doing now. And after she makes the transition, she's just really chill. Like, I would like to hang out with her. I guess it is kinda sweet that even though she had all of the powers of... ever, at the end she's happy to just run her noodle shop. It's kinda poetic. Anyway, she may be a bit overpowered, and she feels like a bit of a Mary Sue, but overall her personality and interactions are enjoyable enough for me to mostly ignore that. I do agree that she is best used in moderation. She doesn't need to be part of the team. I wish we had a quick cameo each season, but whatever. What we have now in season 9 is nice, but she definitely needs to step back out of the spotlight in future seasons (knock on wood) in order to remain as likable as she's been.

Karlof

Love him. Freaking love him. Honestly, I probably relate to him the most. He's the first loser of the tournament, he avoids trouble, he sticks to what he knows, and he says it like it is. I love his interactions with everyone down in the noodle factory. He's like this perfect blend of optimism and pessimism. His interactions with Cole are beautiful. Their chemistry is really great. One of, I think everyone's favorite masters, and there's a reason why.

Shade

So... typical darkness character. Obviously selfish. But once the climax hits, I actually like him a lot. He kinda serves as an antagonist at first and then flips. It's kinda cool seeing a character with moral boundaries that far out. He's purposely suspicious to take attention away from Skylor, which I get. I think he has a lot of missed potential, but nonetheless, a decent character.

Neuro

I absolutely love his power! I love his manor, I love his voice. He may well be my favorite EM. I don't even know what else to say about this guy. If Karlof is who I am, Neuro is who I'd like to think I am. Calculated, calm, reasonable, and much like Karlof again, not too risky. I like him a lot. Cool guy. I like seeing how far he's willing to go for the ninja, and where certain lines are for him. It's kinda cool to watch. He could use a friend though. I HC he and Paleman hang out. Both quiet. Both reserved. Neuro could probably locate him in a room even if he's not visible. Idk. Anyway, I like him a lot! Great character.

Griffin Turner

Classic speedster. Good enough. Not much to say. He's fun. He's cool. He's what you'd expect. Decent screen time. None of it particularly character developing. For what he is, he's good at it.

Jacob

So, let's ignore the part where they made us think he was dead. He's a lot of fun. Good for them getting a blind character in there. Still confused on what his powers can... do? But I like his spunk. I think we all have a little soft spot for him.

Chamille

One of the only girls and she's pretty much evil. Why do girls have to be evil at one point to be interesting? Idk. Don't really care for her, don't really think much about her. Whatever. She's there. She serves her purpose. Fine. Okay. Moving on.

Paleman

Friggin love him. For the master of light to be invisible is a great move, and pretty creative. His voice is kinda obvious, but very distinct. It's a creative background character to have. I like him a lot. Again, I feel he could use some more love. See above Neuro HC. Like him a lot and... yay.

Bolobo

Kinda missed the "mother nature" pun... could have had at least one more female master... that's okay. He's cool enough. Kinda disappointing though. I mean, vines? Is that it?

Gravis

Gravity is a dang cool power. Idk what else to say. He doesn't get a ton of screen time, so it's hard to praise him too much, but yeah. I really like that. Actually had an FC (she was a villain but you know whateves) with the power, so seeing that be a real element they used is really cool.

Ash

I don't like him. He's very strange. He's just got that one laugh. He seems comically over the top a jerk. I like the way his mouth looks though. Unique and kinda cool. I was looking on his Wiki page, and it said he and Chamille kissed in the background at one point? Is that true? I am way curious now

Tox

Okay. She's nonexistent here, no personality. I guess she's kinda tough. Yeah, this gets confirmed later in season 9, when she speaks. But even there she's pretty nonexistent. Here's my idea. Instead of having all your females being 'tough' why not flip expectation on its head? I think it would be way funny and clever if the master of poison was super friendly, and bubbly, and genuinely a nice person. I'm thinking almost like Jay's (lightning... or I guess adopted) mom, levels of talkative and nice. Wouldn't that be kinda fun? Idk. Whatever. It is what it is.

Kapau and Chope

Best villains ever 10/10. 'Nuff said.

Romance

KAILOR

Okay, I freaking love them! They're not my favorite couple or anything, but they work really, really well… under certain conditions. There are a few bumps I can't ignore. Can we have a protagonist in the show who doesn't send googly eyes at their future love interest the first moment they see her? And remember when they made us think Kai and Skylor were related... yeah... why did we need to do that? That was... kinda uncomfortable. BUT other than that, Skylor is exactly what Kai needed. First, he needed a redhead. Duh. Second, he needed someone who would see right through his Kai shmoltz and be real with him. Third, she had to be fun. And finally, she needed to wear the pants in the relationship. And Skylor fills ALL of those requirements! I like that Kai falls for her right away, and I love that she doesn't think she likes him until... she totally does and it's like 'Oh SNAP!'. I love that weird scene where Chen walks around with Kai like he's already his son in law, that cracks me up! I guess I like them more in theory than in practice. It feels a touch forced, and it needed a bit more time. Point being, the beginnings of the relationship are extremely awkward and strange, but towards the end of the season, it gets good! I just wish we could see more :)

The... love... triangle

Alright, by now, you guys should know how I feel about these things. They suck. They're stupid. I hate them. They're pointless. And this season is... quite possibly the stupidest. So... the whole Garma-Wu-Sako... thing this season is that Wu wrote a letter to Misako a long time ago, and Garmadon stole it, and then... Misako *groan* used it to determine which of them she was going to marry... okay. Yeah, Garmadon, that was a crap thing to do. But you know what, he was evil. Wu should have just signed the thing when he wrote it. But also, Misako... WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' GIRL?! Why... would you let a letter... be the final deciding point? I don't get that. And my main problem is that she basically chose her husband based on his writing ability. The thoughts Wu had in the letter obviously directly express what Garmadon wanted to say. In the end, his feelings for her were still the same. The only thing different is that he didn't write it. He's not good with words the way Wu is. But the show treats it like he lied about his feelings, and didn't even like her. Like he was using her for personal gain or manipulation or something. Idk. The whole thing makes no sense. Now, maybe if he did something to make Wu directly look bad or disingenuous THAT would be understandable. But... idk. I don't get it. Misako sucks. Let's move on.

Villians

Chen

Chen is my favorite villain. Hands down. No competition. Any way you slice it. I friggin love the heck out of this dude. And here's why. First off, he's a very comedic villain that still remains extremely threatening, which is an extremely thin line to walk. I mean, think about it. With all the other villains, they were intimidating, and the henchmen provided the humor. Here, I guess you could say they flipped it cuz Clouse is pretty intimidating, but Chen is still crazy scary on his own. And here's how they do it: He's insane. Straight up, he has lost his mind. Nothing he does makes sense, but that's fine, cuz it probably makes total sense to him. You can laugh at the quirky things he does, but also live in fear knowing that he has trap doors installed EVERYWHERE. Why? Cuz he likes them! Is there a better reason than that when you're crazy! That was my problem with people with Pythor. He is so smart, why didn't he ever think that the devourer might eat him too?! There is no explanation. But with Chen, that doesn't matter! He wants to be a snake! Why? Why not?! No flaws in that thinking, right? This is also why I like Ultra Violet so much. She's the only one to rival his position, but because she's more of a side villain, I don't feel that's enough to dethrone him. With insane villains, you never have any idea what they're playing at, if it's smart, or how to counteract, cuz they're just insane. I mean, seriously,

"Chen, the ninja have figured out our plan, what should we do?"

"COOL! Let's tell EVERYONE our plan!"

And it works! I love his voice. Just the way he says things makes me so happy! He's having so much fun, and I have fun with him! 10/10 villain. Great work.

Clouse

I can't get past the voice. It sounds so over the top evil and... it's kinda annoying for me? He has a decent backstory and such, but whenever he's on screen I always find myself wishing it was Chen. He just sucks the fun out of everything and leaves nothing there, so most of his interactions aren't particularly interesting. I don't know. Never really thought much of him.

Humor

Needless to say everything with Chen works! Everything with the EMs works. Jay's whole Positive Thinking streak is amazing! There's not a lot that falls flat on its face. It's really pretty fantastic.

Favorite joke: too many to count. If I had to pick one...

Chen's: the reds, the purples, the super dark purples!

Drama

This season has some damn good drama. It has my personal most sad moment in all of Ninjago. I'm of course talking about Garmadon's death...  JK! XD I WAS LAUGHING ALL THE WAY THROUGH THAT SEQUENCE! But we’ll get to that later. Okay. But for real, my personal most heartbreaking moment is when we find out Pixal is scrapped (of course it's Pixal related) but seriously, watching this for the first time, it broke my heart hardcore. I audibly gasped. They have these conversations, and she realizes he doesn't remember her, and it hurts her because they were comPATABLE GOSH DANG IT! And then he starts remembering, and she knows she can't go with him, so she lies to him to give him the motivation to make it out, and then the reveal, and Zane's heart breaks, and your heart breaks. This whole scenario reminds me of my own writing, it has all these things I enjoy using. Distinctions between fantasy and reality, characters lying to each other to protect them, and an ending realization of total and complete emptiness. Of course, Pixal is added into his head, and all is fine and dandy. It works for this season but serves her worse in future seasons. Regardless, that moment when Pixal says 'scrapped' is the most depressing thing I've ever seen. All of the Zane drama this season works really well. Zane having an identity crisis is something I didn't think the show would handle. When Zane says he's just a clone if himself I was like 'oh, dang! They went there!'. It's almost like he's comparing himself to Cryptor, and it's some heavy stuff. Everything this season is shrouded in mystery. I love that. For the first half of the season or so, I really like the tournament stuff. But as we get Cole, and especially Jay in the noodle factory, that plotline gets much more interesting. I don't get into the Nya and Lloyd and Garmadon stuff that much. The stuff with Kai is okay. But overall, there's some good stuff.

Climax

Okay, so... I... I mean I like the build up. The thing with all the trucks is really good. Most of it was really pretty good with all the EMs doing stuff the ninja would usually do. But the whole ending thing, with getting mini Pythor involved, and you know. The whole Garmadon death thing. He died an honorable death and all that, but... idk, I can't get past Lloyd's voice. As he reads him off I just couldn't stop giggling! It's so overdramatic, they feel like they need to make Lloyd mad at his dad for whatever reason so he can come back at the last second, and it all feels so forced. And then the ending is super overly cheesy for how serious the show wants to take itself at that moment. Idk. I don't like it. One of my least favorite finales.

Spotlight episode

There are some good ones to choose from this season. Some real good ones. But the one I find myself watching the most is Ninja Roll. This episode doesn't have too high stakes, it doesn't make much sense, it's kind of pointless, but it perfectly encapsulates the reason I watch Ninjago. I don't know exactly why I watch Ninjago. I'm not into the action most of the time. The romance is cute, but not potent enough to warrant watching the show. The humor isn't revolutionary, the characters aren't especially deep. No, the reason I watch Ninjago is cuz it's fun. Ninjago is just a good time. It has just enough of all of those aspects to make for something I love. It makes me smile. With seasons 8, and especially 9, Ninjago has shifted into this darker action based, lore-driven thing, which I thought I would like, and I do, but I think it's lost a bit of that fun factor. In my opinion, Ninjago is it's best when it's self-aware, and doesn't take itself overly seriously. When you don't have to end the season on an ominous dark cliffhanger. I mean really. What is this? Chima? No. I just want to go hang out with the ninja and the gang, whatever it is their doing. This episode takes advantage of every situation a roller derby with the ninja provides. Of course Jay roller skates with his mom. Of course, Kai is incompetent at it. Of course, Chen cheats, of course, it all comes down to Lloyd. Of course, there's freaking buggies that Chen releases! This whole episode makes me smile and laugh and it has a good message. This is what I miss about Ninjago, and that's why it's my spotlight.

Misc

I know everyone always teases Jay about his TV show, but what about Kai and his wrestling career? I just feel like that would come up more often

I completely subscribe to the theory that Pixal was scrapped to fix Zane cuz they beat him up so badly when capturing. I'd kinda like to think Pixal even volunteered herself for it... ONE SHOT IDEA

I have to scratch... my face.

I need a number on the trap door to button ratio on the island

This season has my favorite intro of any season. Mainly cuz the remix is FIRE and I hate the fact that they don't have an extended version that sounds more like the opening itself. 

So all together, the word to sum up season 4 is fun. Definitely not technically the best, or the smartest, or the most well done, but it's my favorite because of nostalgia, my inner child, and because it makes me smile. I love this season.

- Maya (Parachutingkitten)

[deathstrange]

                                         RABASTAN LESTRANGE.                                               twenty five. death eater. hufflepuff.                                                 charming. persuasive. creative.                                                  two faced. passive. sadistic.                                                        healer. chameleon.

                                   i will not be atlas with arms so bruised they are blue.                                                                  PINTEREST BOARD.

BACK TO BASICS.

name: rabastan emory lestrange. occupation: healer. nicknames: rab or rabbie.

+ charming, persuasive, creative, patient, clever. - two faced, sadistic, passive, entitled, superficial.

age: 25. date of birth: october 23, 1993. zodiac: scorpio. hometown: somewhere in england!!! to be determined!!!! current location: lives in a penthouse apartment in london. gender: cis male. pronouns: he/him. orientation: bisexual. spoken languages: english, french and german fluently. moral alignment: neutral evil / true neutral. element: earth / air. house: hufflepuff.

character insp: peeta mellark ( the hunger games ), achilles ( mythology ), finnick odair ( the hunger games ), lucifer ( mythology ), will halstead ( chicago med ).

BACKGROUND.

child neglect cw.

Rabastan grew up as the youngest of two brothers, the second in line to the throne. The second Lestrange. The backup. The extra, in case the first one broke.

Being the forgotten Lestrange had its perks, though. Rabastan became a golden boy in his own right, growing up in the shadows, with the same access to the riches, the luxury and the reputation that a proper Lestrange deserved. But none of the attention... or the burden of the Lestrange legacy. He was mostly seen as the baby Lestrange, the sweet, sweet boy who behaved like an angel, but wasn’t... all there. Thank god that he’s pretty, right? At least he’ll marry nice.

So maybe Rabastan grew a bit resentful against his parents. Decided that fuck them, I’ll do whatever I want.

But he still remained The Good Son, dutifully attending all his tutor sessions and all his classes. Smiled pretty at his parents’ parties. Was painfully polite to all their guests. Managed to charm the most rugged of dark wizards, weaseled his way in, with that slight smile and those big blue eyes and that weird talent of being scary good at guessing exactly what people wanted to hear. Probably stemmed from him always listening in, ya feel.

Def partly raised by house elves and maids. Was left wondering where his parents were at most of his childhood.

But 100% grew up idolizing his brother!!!!!! Thought he was the greatest thing to happen since sliced bread.

HOGWARTS YEARS.

So homeboy shows up at Hogwarts, and he’s absolutely fucking bursting with rebellion and a wish to do absolutely ANYTHING to fuck with his parents. Maybe.... idk.... to make them notice him for once.....

So what does he do? He pulls a Harry Potter !!!!!!! Asks the sorting hat to place him in any house but Slytherin, which it reluctantly agrees to do. And suddenly he’s sitting at the Hufflepuff table. 

Okay so, he started out as a pretty good Hufflepuff. Really hard working ( eager to prove himself ), very loyal, very modest ( he would get over that one, later. lmao ), so so sweet ( that one too, would not be permanent ) and overall just a good kid!!! 

Arrived at Hogwarts with the good ol’ “Rodolphus Lestrange’s baby brother” label already firmly slapped on him. All teachers compared him to his brother, which was a bitter pill to swallow. Was that all he’d ever be? For how long would he have to chase his older brother’s shadow? Never quite keeping up.

ANYWAYS. His parents weren’t exactly charmed by the fact that Rabastan didn’t follow the Family Tradition™ of ending up in Slytherin. Made for an awkward Christmas dinner, that year. 

Luckily ( or, perhaps, unluckily, for him ), he was quickly forgiven for his faults. The poor boy can’t help that no other house will take him, can he? 

But Rabastan made a life for himself in Hufflepuff. He went home every summer with grades that were almost flawless ( which rewarded him with a quick pat on the shoulder, some brief acceptance, before the family’s attention returned to work and far more important things than the non-heir ). He made friends. Moved in different social circles, quickly becoming a social chameleon, blending in just as well with the Hufflepuff kids as the Slytherin kids. In Hufflepuff, his actions spoke louder for him than his name did. In Slytherin, his name spoke louder for him than his house.

Was a bit of a party boy. Has definitively been found black out drunk in the prefect bathrooms more than once ( how did he get in there, u ask? his dazzling smile : ~ ) what else ! ).

Watched as the Dark Lord slowly rose to power, but never directly involved himself, and was very careful to not mention his own thoughts, instead always steering the conversation towards something else, or back towards the person he spoke to. 

Silently, Rabastan supported Voldemort, though. His agenda was appealing to him, sounded about right. And then there was the influence of his older brother, of course. Everything Rodolphus touched turned to gold, after all.

AFTER HOGWARTS.

alcoholism cw / murder cw / torture cw ( it’s going downhill from here ig)

Rabastan graduated Hogwarts with good grades, plenty of friends and a growing addiction to alcohol. 

Immediate decision after school was to go into emergency medicine, and he thus became a healer for St Mungos hospital. It was the glory he was after, the status. Helping people? Not really his primary concern.

Has sworn to do no harm wHICH HE DOESN’T!!!! WHILE AT WORK !!!!! What he does outside of work is a different story though. We all have our hobbies, guys!!!!

Started getting kinda tired of being known as the Idiot Lestrange after a while. Especially now that he was a healer. Slowly began dropping the dumb act, it rarely benefited him anymore anyways.

Slowly also became more involved with the Death Eaters, and eventually rose to a high enough position that he could be seen as someone to Count On. Which was all he really wanted, really. Homeboy is attention starved and wants recognition!!!! The Death Eaters fed into that, a lot. 

But anyways, he’s very lowkey about it. Even though his name is kinda sus, I guess? But other than that - Stealth mode.

Currently drinking himself into oblivion, when he’s not working :/

Not super into the whole torturing people thing, but has been assigned a lot of That Kind Of Work anyways (within the Death Eaters), because of his medical background : ~) He will slowly get more into it though, becomes a little bit darker the longer the war goes on. More willing to push past his limits, cross the lines he normally wouldn’t cross. We all know how far he’ll go, in the end.

Has lowkey developed two distinctive personalities over the years - two sides of the same coin that can be flipped as easily as you turn on/off the lights. There’s the good guy, the healer, the smiling pretty boy that knows exactly what to say to get you to take a step closer to the edge, and then there’s the very bad man, who’s drunk, trying to kill you and has forgotten who he is. Which one is the real Rabastan !!!! We don’t know !!!!

Deadass reverts straight back to his Hogwarts self whenever he’s at a family gathering. 

REALLY loves his job !!!! Is good at it too and works really hard !!! Loves the kick of the adrenaline rush when he saves someone, or when someone acknowledges his work.

PERSONALITY.

alcoholism cw.

Bit of a disaster, really.

Probably trying to charm u out of ur life savings right now

Typical Bad Influence, tbh

SOCIAL CHAMELEON!!!! 

Never shows his anger and ends up burying it deep down instead until he eventually snaps.

Responsibility? Not his thing. Taking responsibility for his actions? Also not his thing.

He’s really out there repping the whole irresponsible younger brother stereotype!!!

Still a bit of a party boy, tbh.

Kinda vain. Knows that he’s good looking and doesn’t rly understand 100% why other people wouldn’t think that he’s god’s greatest gift to mankind. 

Has deep rooted commitment issues and can’t commit to anything, except work & his brother, to save his life

Also has deep rooted trust issues probably.

Likes plants a lot but keeps killing them :(

Very good at reading people!!!! 

Surprisingly good cook!!!! But can only follow like five recipes. :/

Can go from being a tall dark stranger to a golden retriever puppy within seconds.

There is so much hate in him, but he’s not sure what for. Somewhere deep down, he hates his parents, he hates himself, he hates his family line and what they’ve forged him into. But that’s a little too painful to bear ( and Rabastan has always been the type to run away from his problems, refuse to shoulder the burden of anything that might bruise his arms / his heart !!! ), so he channels all that hatred into something else.

Has Opinions™ about muggle technology but still uses an iPhone. Hypocrite.

Constantly craving attention and will do anything to get it. He’s looking for acknowledgement and praise, tbh? Can def be a textbook people pleaser, too.

Can be so so so cruel and cold, it’s a bit scary really. 

Somehow also the best listener? Gifts from his childhood, I guess!

More of an emotional torturer, than anything. Likes playing with people’s feelings and their heart strings. Favorite hex is the imperius curse.

How to break someone down emotionally 101 by Rabastan Lestrange.

Used to have a heart !!!!!! Lost it a long time ago though. It’s rotting, now.