#I also keep on missing the bit at the bottom which would tell me whether or not my area has been counted yet

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

Watching the election results and trying not to laugh every time it says that somewhere is "hung".

[dandelionsandderivatives]

Tell me everything about infinity.

Oh, a very loaded question! All right. Let's start with the sizes of infinity!

Roughly speaking, there are two sizes of infinity; or, in proper terminology, "cardinalities." (There is some debate, as I recall, over whether there are more sizes of infinity. But we know there are two.) The first cardinality is the same size as the integers, which are the positive and negative whole numbers; essentially tick marks going in a line forever. 1, 2, 3, and so on; and in the opposite direction, -1, -2, -3, and so on.

The second cardinality is the same size as the real numbers, which are all the numbers that most people use on a daily basis; think, instead of tick marks, a line, and every place on that line is a number. No matter how close two places on that line are, there's always another number in between them. So you have 2.5 and 2.6, but between them you have 2.55 and 2.5932, and infinitely many more.

The concept of infinity, of course, gets a bit weird once you move into more than one dimension; it's easy enough to point in the same direction as a line and say, "that goes to infinity," but once you have multiple dimensions, is it meaningful to talk about a negative or positive infinity? Oh, and adding and subtracting get weird once you start adding infinitely many things together. Addition loses commutativity (e.g. 5+3 = 3+5), which still blows my mind, even though I've seen the proof for it. It's the kind of thing that keeps me up at night.

Generally mathematicians get around the multiple-dimensions problem by using the modulus of a number, which is the distance from the number to zero, measured using our dear old friend the Pythagorean Theorem: so, if your point is at 4 in one dimension and at 3 in another, you use the Pythagorean theorem to get 5, and then you consider that point to be 5 away from zero. (This would be easier to explain if I had a chalkboard!) Then, infinity is sort of a circle that surrounds the whole plane; or, if you think of your 2d plane like a flat circle, if you folded it up into a ball, infinity would be all the points at the very top of the ball, and zero would be the point at the bottom. (Obviously this gets weirder if we have three dimensions, but you get the idea.) Okay, so that's a quick introduction to infinity from a mathematical perspective. I think there were also some physics questions re: the expanding universe and spacetime? I'm happy to write a bit about that, too, but I think it belongs in a separate post! So if you have questions about that, please let me know and I'll try to share what I do know! Disclaimer: while I DO know more math than the average person, I have essentially a bachelor's-degree level of knowledge in math. I think everything I've typed out is correct, but I may very well have missed some details! Dear readers, please feel free to correct me if you have greater knowledge than I.

Edit: also, I should have mentioned that the pythagorean theorem only works in a euclidean space. But I feel like going into non-Euclidean stuff is a bit past the scope of (this) tumblr post.

[serial-serializednovelreader]

Nova’s Notes - Dracula Daily - July 20

In which Seward completes his thought (it only took him *checks notes* TWELVE days to cook it up but it’s here)…

Again, Seward uses a lot of ableist language in this entry that I do not relish. There is also implied animal death (not “shown”, just said to have happened) and mention of drugging someone. To get around this, I won’t quote these parts and will only describe them as little as I can (under the cut). I’ll also post this with the appropriate tags. If I don’t see you in this one, I hope to see you in a bit of a lighter entry! Your mental health matters <3

“Visited Renfield very early, before the attendant went his rounds. Found him up and humming a tune. He was spreading out his sugar, which he had saved, in the window, and was manifestly beginning his fly-catching again; and beginning it cheerfully and with a good grace. I looked around for his birds, and not seeing them, asked him where they were. He replied, without turning round, that they had all flown away.”

I know we have a lot to get to, but at least I finally have an answer as to how he’s catching flies — sugar! That makes sense! (Yes, that is what I’m focusing on, no I’m not sorry about it — I’ve been asking Seward about methodology for WEEKS and he just got back to me with this /j) I do wonder where he gets the sugar to spread though…I suppose if Seward is supporting his “pet endeavors” to this end, he is probably allowing him to keep sugar for this purpose. I guess that makes sense. I’m also just imagining Renfield dancing around and humming while spreading sugar…a fun image, to be sure.

Here’s where it gets bad. Last warning, y’all!

What’s not fun is that we can’t see where the birds went. And Renfield isn’t forthcoming on where they went….the fact he won’t turn around while speaking to Seward is telling in and of itself.

So Seward looks further about the room and sees two signs that point to Renfield lying about the birds flying away: feathers scattered about the room, and a drop of blood on his pillow.

Not a good sign!!! Not a good sign at all!!!! I knew this was coming, but I do love that Stoker *evokes* the message of what happened, rather than outright saying it by showing the image of blood and feathers. The art of show don’t tell comes into play once more.

A bit later in the day at 11 a.m., an attendant affirms what Seward already knows: those birds did not just “fly away”. How do they know? Well, Renfield is now sick and is…throwing up feathers. Yeah, this isn’t good.

Twelve hours later, we get an update: that Renfield was given some medication to put him to sleep and Seward took his notebook to read.

Ok, so initially when I read this I was like, “he drugged him without his consent???? To take his notebook???? How DARE he????” And yes, we can definitely look at it in that light, but before doing so, I’d recommend reading this post with the note at the bottom by @rosetyler42 (and also has really good points by @animate-mush for the later points in this post, which I’ll also address). TL;DR, the point raised is that there’s a good chance Seward actually gave Renfield the medicine to help him go to sleep because of his illness. I agree that he likely has food poisoning after what he’s eaten and, as someone who’s had this, you do not feel very good! It would make sense that Seward — as a doctor — would give him medication to treat it, though in this case, the treatment would likely mean putting him to sleep for a time. With all of the nausea and pain he’s in, that actually has some sense to it.

Of course, in the meantime, Seward *will* take the opportunity to read Renfield’s journal. He may be treating his patient (and whether you believe he actually is treating him, or that he solely drugged him to get the notebook is your choice — I know he hasn’t being the most ethical person lately), but he’s not going to miss the chance to peek through the personal belongings while he can! That’s just how Seward is.

Note: this next part is where he uses the majority of his ableist language. I don’t mention it in my thoughts, but wanted to give a heads up for anyone who hasn’t read the entry yet and was wondering where this starts.

Seward finally completes his thought (and I can’t really skate around the implications, so apologies for this): Renfield is setting out to absorb as much life as he can, and he intends to do this by way of a mini food chain, with him as the top predator. Seward is quite interested in what would have been his later steps, and if anything scientifically important could be achieved by this.

Yes, this is where he brings up vivisection, but as the post I linked states, this is more of an example of what was considered to be a strange scientific method that turned out to be useful, rather than him wanting to perform this on Renfield. Don’t get me wrong, the fact that he brings up vivisection as his first thought is…strange, I won’t deny that. But I think it’s more his brain nerding out on science things, rather than wanting to do a vivisection. What he does what to do is get to the heart of what Renfield’s science could be capable of, if anything. However, and this is important to note, he won’t do that because he is not willing to go this far into unethical territory by continuing the experiment. Why? There’s not enough sufficient evidence to indicate positive results, as evidenced by this passage:

“If only there were a sufficient cause! I must not think too much of this, or I may be tempted; a good cause might turn the scale with me, for may not I too be of an exceptional brain, congenitally?”

(Lol, yes Seward you’re smart too <— edit: he actually means out of the norm/neurodivergent here, not smart) He also speculates on the value Renfield places on a human life — many or just one. I do think this is interesting to consider, as some of us humans do eat meat! I don’t like where Seward is going with this though!!!

I do like where he closes this train of thought with:

“He has closed the account most accurately, and to-day begun a new record. How many of us begin a new record with each day of our lives?”

That…that is very profound, Seward. You didn’t have to put that in your musings about Renfield, but you did. Something that I enjoy about Seward’s character is that he likes to get lost in philosophical musings and this is a good example of that.

“To me it seems only yesterday that my whole life ended with my new hope, and that truly I began a new record. So it will be until the Great Recorder sums me up and closes my ledger account with a balance to profit or loss. Oh, Lucy, Lucy, I cannot be angry with you, nor can I be angry with my friend whose happiness is yours; but I must only wait on hopeless and work. Work! work!”

Oh, Seward! And here we reach the root of the problem, one he’s been avoiding talking about for a long time: Lucy. After all, this whole experiment-fiasco has been a distraction to keep himself from thinking of her. But what has that done for him, truly? He still ends up thinking about her, regardless. It breaks my heart a bit that he called her his new hope and that he had to begin anew after that 🥺 it’s never good to put hope as a person but…I understand what he means and it hurts!

Seward comparing God to a “Great Recorder” who will “sum up his account” is so interesting to me! It’s cool to get an insight as to his perspective on religion and how he thinks of it in a more “logical” way (and I do understand he could just be using a metaphor here, but I do think this is his logic and that’s fun to think about lol).

Finally, I love that while he still feels hopeless and bogged down by the fact that all he has to look forward to is his work, he emphasizes that he’s not angry at Lucy *or* Arthur. He wants them to be happy! It doesn’t mean he won’t still be sad, though :(

In the end, he wants a cause like Renfield has — a “strong” one he can turn to that will give him “happiness”. Will that give him real happiness though? Because Renfield sure doesn’t seem happy after his illness today. I’m just saying…

That’s all for this one! Will be putting out the others soon — sorry for the late entry on this one.

[the-mspfa-200-favourites-project]

Mr. Tambourine Man Update Notificator

No, you read that title right. This is an Update Notifier, not the ACTUAL MSPFA itself (because the actual MSPFA itself is offsite), with over 200 favourites. That’s pretty impressive. And that’s why I’m not actually going to be looking at the Notifier itself, but the actual star of the show, MR. TAMBOURINE MAN. If there was a BDTH notifier I’m sure it would similarly also make me able to talk about Burning Down The House, but ALAS, there is no such thing. I’ll probably talk about Burning Down The House later after I finish with this journey I’m on, since there *are* MSPFAs out there that I want to talk about that I KNOW haven’t been covered by the “200 favourites” rule. But that’s later. For now, let’s take a look at Mr. Tambo and Urine Man I mean Mr. Tambourine Man.

I don’t know why people feel nostalgia for the old MSPA site layout. I bring this up because this is just one of several times that the old MSPA layout has been used. Probably, again, to bring legitimacy for this being a “continuation” of the original work. But also, the MSPA site layout…kinda sucks? The fact that news is always on the bottom and can’t be hidden from view unlike in MSPFA’s site design is a big miss for me. My eyes keep wanting to go off of that and onto the logs or other parts of the page, and it means that I can’t really focus on the action, and that’s something that you don’t want. It makes me less engaged, less willing to slip into the world of the comic, when I keep getting distracted by the ads at the bottom telling me about Hoodies for sale that’s not EVEN AN ACTUAL AD. Again, Delivery Mechanisms are just as important, if not more so, than the actual text that they are delivering to the reader.

OHHHHH. Good thing I checked, apparently this webcomic was made not in 2020, but in 2016? Which explains why it feels like an Act Omega or Act 8 more than a HS^2-based continuation. It makes sense that 2016 would be the time it first started upd8ing, and then in 2020 is only when the notifier is added to MSPFA, well, continuations are back in the zeitgeist, as they will continue to be for as long as the fandom response to Homestuck is “Man this sucks” (regardless of whether or not Homestuck actually DOES suck). Or, rather, “Homestuck is not living up to my expectations, I wish there was a BETTER Homestuck that DID confirm my expectations of it as a work and a piece of media.” That sentence is a bit of a mess that I just typed but whatever.

But yeah the thing about Homestuck^2 Continuations is that people want to see the suffering of the characters END, and 2016 Act 7-based continuations is that people want to see the suffering of the characters CONTINUE. Because like, that’s what’s going on here. “I want more content from Homestuck” versus “I want Homestuck to provide closure.” It’s interesting that these two impulses kind of live side by side with each other, and often times came from that same impulse of feeling unsatisfied with the direction of a work, and yet take such different forms and priorities. Which I guess is the entire point of the epilogues now that I’m thinking about it? This dicotemachy of “I want to see the characters continue their adventures” versus “I want to see the characters no longer have conflict” is literally just. Meat and Candy. Straight up Meat or Candy. Which continuation style do YOU want to see done? More story, or less story and more character moments? I think I’m having a slight mini freakout over how Homestuck saw this happen all the way back in 2016. AH! And because MSPFA wasn’t even a thing as we know it today (2017 I believe was the first year of the new site), that’s why Mr. Tambourine Man isn’t on there to begin with. I’ve cracked it wide open I tell you! Hahahaha!

Getting back to the website differences between this hosting site and MSPFA…I am slightly feeling the lack of arrow key movement functionality. Like, the command system is really cool in terms of titling pages and stuff like that and I know I’ll probably write up what I think about all that jazz in the future but…having to click to advance to every single panel kind of changes my relationship to it? I kind of have to be. Deliberate. Move my mouse over to the command, internalize the command, click on it, read the page, click to the next panel. It makes several panels of slow movement in a row different, that’s for sure. Less Flipbooky, I guess is a way to describe. Idk if I’m making sense, but these are my thoughts currently going through my head reading this.

Okay hang on. Now I’m beginning to remember why using another site might actually be benefictal to a storyteller. That being, of course, that you can transform the site into a machine, an actual legitimate bonified game that can interact with the audience and make them WORK for the next stage in the story. And make strange trickery happen. Like suddenly making the “go back” button go back to a different scene or something. All this to say that I’m not 100% prepared for reading the rest of Mr. Tambourine Man but I will say. That I *am* invested, and I *am* curious to see where this might lead me. So I guess for now, go check it out, but be aware that it might not be all that it seems? I’m getting that vibe right now.

[iamfruitie]

Kinktober 2024 Day 2

Power Bottom - Phantomhero

“Come here, big boy.” Phantom chuckled as he pulled Jackie closer by his shoulders, wrapping a leg around his hips. He laid back on the bed, both without clothing, but Jackie’s body was decorated with bite marks, and Phantom wore a few of his own. “Go on, I want to feel you inside me.” 

“Okay.” Jackie’s eyes were so soft with love and affection but also getting darker and darker with lust. That was the kind of face Phantom was looking for. Jackie was so cute when he got like this. 

“There you go, good boy~” Phantom rocked his hips up when Jackie did as requested, slowly pushing in his already hard and lubed-up cock. 

“Good boy?” Jackie echoed as his face flushed a deeper red. He wanted to move so badly but was waiting for Phantom’s permission to do so. 

“My good boy,” Phantom confirmed, placing his hands on Jackie’s face, thumbs rubbing his cheeks. 

“Can-Can I move, please?” Jackie asked. He placed a hand on Phantom’s waist, gently squeezing to help ground himself just in case he got told to wait more. 

“You can move, honey.” Phantom chuckled. He would have told him to move regardless of whether he had asked or not. Yes, he was having the time of his life telling Jackie what to do, but he also wasn’t the most patient man either. “Start off nice and slow for me,” Phantom clarified while Jackie adjusted, hand sliding down to hold his hip.

“Nice and slow.” Jackie was even cuter when all he could say was Phantom’s own words. 

“Just like that~” Phantom praised with a light moan, Jackie’s soft thrusts letting him feel every part of him so easily. “Oh, just like that~” He said again before pulling Jackie into a kiss. Jackie melted fully into the kiss, trying to catch his breath when Phantom nipped at his lip to get them to part and push his tongue into his mouth. “Don’t forget to breathe, hero.” Phantom teased, words brushing against Jackie’s lips. 

“Hard to,” Jackie confessed, the grip on Phantom’s hip getting tighter and telling that he was dying to do more. 

“Now, how are you going to fuck me harder if you’re not breathing?” Phantom hummed, grinning when Jackie whimpered. That sound would be playing on repeat in his mind for a long time. “Keep moving, Jackie.” He reminded, getting another one of those addicting whimpers as Jackie pressed his forehead to his chest and kept his thrusts going at that painfully slow pace. 

“Phan, please.” Jackie pleaded. 

“Are you going to breathe?”

“I am. I am.” 

“Alright.” Phantom used his hands to tilt Jackie’s head back up so he could see his face. “Since you’ve been such a good boy. I want you to ruin me.” He wasn’t shocked when Jackie lunged into a kiss. 

Phantom lifted his leg and moaned into the kiss when Jackie, always wanting to go above and beyond, used those powers of his to thrust at a fast and steady rhythm. Able to keep it going and going and going without missing a beat. 

“Fuck~!” Phantom gasped, eyes rolling as he let his head drop. His hands went to Jackie’s back, and he dug his nails in, making himself moan again when that got those thrusts to somehow get stronger. “Jackie! Yes, yes, yes! Such a good boy~!”

“Good boy, good boy.” Jackie chanted, each conformation hitting him with a new wave of pleasure. “Good-” He suddenly tensed up, bit down on Phantom’s chest, which earned a moan-filled curse from the other, and he was cumming. 

“Keep going, keep going,” Phantom instructed, knowing he wouldn’t need too long. Jackie groaned into the skin between his teeth and did his best to keep his thrusts consistent. “Jackie, Jackie, Jackie~” The last one turned into an even louder moan as Phantom came, back arching and hands getting a bruising grip on Jackie’s shoulders. “You can-You can stop.” He got out between pants. 

Jackie pried his mouth away and slowed his hips to a stop, panting heavily as well while looking down at Phantom. Phantom softly laughed and ran a hand through Jackie’s hair, the sweat making the strands spike up. 

“Did I do good?” Jackie asked.

“Always~” 

----------

@dungeon-dragons-dragons

[fics-n-stuff-n-stuff]

Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser Levy McGarden/Gajeel Redfox

all fairy tail characters basically -

Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic Follows Fairy tail but with my own twists set in modern day Fluff and Angst Romance Friendship developing feelings Lucy has new spirits I checked constellations and gave her ones I thought were cool

Summary

Lucy is thrown into a world she didn’t know existed. Join her as she unravels this new world full of magic that brings adventure, romance and destruction along with it.

———

Just a modern re-telling of Fairy tail following its arcs with a few twists and turns along the way💞

You can also read it here

————————————————

Chapter 17

"So what exactly is our plan?"

Natsu asked her as he leaned back in his chair, looking content as he rubbed his stomach in satisfaction.

They'd just finished eating a late lunch in a restaurant near their inn, after following Natsu's nose to what he claimed was 'The best place in town.'

Lucy looked up at him from her cup of tea.

While he was busy eating half the restaurant, she was contemplating whether they should go through with the plan circling her mind, or think of something different.

She wasn't exactly looking forward to breaking and entering, but there was no other way.

They needed to get closer to the key.

"We're going to wait till the Museum closes, and then sneak in to try and get a better look at Leo's key." She told him, keeping her voice quiet so as to not be overheard by the people around them.

Natsu sat up straight at her words, eyes bulging out from shock. "We're gonna what?" He asked, sounding slightly baffled at her plan.

Lucy bit back a smile as she watched his reaction. "Sneak into the Museum after it closes." She said, slower this time.

"We need to get as close to the key as possible, maybe even try to take it out of the glass and see if it will react to my magic in some way."

Now, Lucy wasn't one to commend theft, and it hopefully won't come to that, but she needed to see this through, for her Mother, for Leo, and herself.

"Grampa Crux said we should retrace our steps, so back to Museum it is. There must be something there that can help us." Lucy started explaining her logic.

"Besides, we can't have people walking around when we're trying to investigate magic, so we go after it closes." She explained with a shrug as she looked through the window at the street.

"If none of my spirits will give me the answers I want, we are going out and finding them ourselves." Lucy almost mumbled to herself as she watched the crowds of people pass them by.

Everyone rushing through the streets in hopes of getting out of the cold, living their lives completely untroubled and unaware of the dangers that are lurking around them.

Watching them almost made her miss the simplicity of not being aware of the Magic World.

Though where would she be if it weren't for magic? Better yet, where would she be if it weren't for the person across her?

Dead, probably.

There was no doubt about it, that dementor thing would have killed her that night if Natsu hadn't intervened.

If not for the attack, Lucy would have eventually been found by her father and married off.

His stunt with Phantom Lord assured her of that.

She would be doomed to spend her whole life not knowing the truth about her Mother, or herself. Which is fate far worse than death, if you ask her.

So they will be getting to the bottom of this.

Lucy was just so tired of being kept in the dark. She was tired of not knowing her family history, not knowing about her magic, not knowing who she really was.

Her search with Levy came to a halt around the Holidays and with all the craziness that happened, they haven't gotten a chance to restart.

Honestly, they did not have much to go on.

It seemed like every new text or book they found had the same information as all the others, it was beyond frustrating.

There was the letter Lucy got from her mom, but that was safely tucked away at the bottom of one of her drawers back home.

She wasn't ready to read her mother's last words.

"Okay, we'll rob the Museum, but promise me that we will never tell Erza about this, she'll kill me." Natsu's proclamation brought Lucy out of her head and she looked back at her partner with a slight chuckle.

"I don't think it'll come to us robbing the place, but I promise not to tell Erza." She smiled at him and put her hand over his on the table.

"Good, that's good." He mumbled back, burying his chin into his scarf. "You wanna go find a magic shop while we wait?" He asked, seemingly coy all of a sudden, his expression neutral as he went to get up, offering his hand for her to take.

Lucy looked up at him with a smile and clasped their hands as she stood up. "Yes! Yes I do, come on let's go." She said excitedly as she pulled him out of the restaurant, his laughter following them outside.

She continued pulling him down a few streets, and Natsu let her twist and turn them through the town before suddenly Lucy stopped in her tracks and realized she had no idea where they were supposed to be going.

She turned to look back at Natsu sheepishly. "I don't actually know where to look for one?" She told him, the statement coming out more like a question, making Natsu laugh at her admission.

"Well, every decently sized town is sure to have at least one shop." He started explaining as he looked around the street they were on.

"Crocus, for example, is known in our community for having the most in Fiore. They're usually in less public areas, there's a smaller risk of someone wandering in.

Remember the one we went to in Magnolia?" He asked her with a grin on his face, knowing fully well she remembered.

Lucy nodded, recalling the abandoned stores and shabby shops.

"Good, so we just look in places like that! That's how I do it, well, I also follow my nose, I can usually smell the weird herbs and magic when they're close."

Natsu said as he suddenly pulled her in the opposite direction and they started making their way to the other side of town.

Lucy looked up at him and then down at their joined hands. He was walking half a step faster than her, making her almost stumble as she tried to keep up with his stride.

They made their way through the crowded streets, and Lucy was once again thankful that he'd started wearing the boots she bought him for Christmas.

Though the snow around him still melted away from his heat, and he refused to wear a proper coat, but small victories.

The same heat was currently responsible for keeping her warm from the chilly January air, and it made Lucy grateful once more to have a fire drakon for a partner.

She honestly can't remember how she managed winters without him.

The crowds of people seemed to be getting thinner as they made their way through town and Lucy suddenly wondered what people thought when they saw them together.

They were a bit of an odd pair.

As they walked through Sakuramori Village, looking out for anything that looked like a Magic Shop, Lucy purposefully decided to take the opportunity of the fact that it was just the two of them on the job and listened to Levy's advice.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" She said breaking the comfortable silence that settled over them, her voice was slightly timid as she spoke.

"You can ask me anything Luce, you know that." Natsu answered with a playful bump to her shoulder, and she could hear the smile, mixed with confusion about her sudden mood change in his voice, could feel his eyes burning into her profile.

She made it a point not to look at him, not really wanting to see his expression to her next words, and willing herself to speak.

There was a lull as Lucy tried, and failed to gather her thoughts and think of the best way she could approach the topic.

"It's just, I've noticed that you've been a bit... Vigilant, since Phantom's attack. And with everything that happened after, when I left to see my father." The words 'Without you' were left hanging between them as Lucy continued to trip over her words, trying to rush everything out as fast as she could.

"I know we talked it out when you guys found me at the Mansion, but I just feel like I need to apologize again for just leaving like that and not telling you about it." Once she started talking it was like a flood of words came pouring out. "I didn't think. I didn't think of how it would look, and of how you would react."

She took a breath as she looked at him. "I'm sorry for how I executed my plan, I just felt like I had to do it on my own."

Lucy continued talking, even after willing herself to withhold her words. "It just feels that by leaving like that, I've betrayed your trust in some way."

They both stopped walking as she spoke those words.

Lucy looked over his shoulder as she finished, refusing to make eye contact with him, which in turn made Natsu step to the right so he could be in her field of vision.

The expression on his face was surprisingly pensive, and in any other situation, Lucy would find it funny, cute even.

But right now all she could feel was nervousness.

"What are ya talking about, weirdo? What's Vagulant even mean?" For all the seriousness of his expression, his response left Lucy feeling like she was going to combust.

Of course, what else was she expecting? This was Natsu, after all.

"It's Vigilant, and it means being, like, on the lookout, watchful, on guard. You have been all of those things, and maybe even a little protective?" She tried to articulate her thoughts without completely calling him out and the look on his face made her think that it wasn't working, so Lucy tried a different approach.

"I don't know if any of this makes sense." Lucy said with a small huff as she ran her hand through her bangs, slightly frustrated with herself for lacking the words after she spent hours rehearsing every avenue of how this conversation would go.

Leave it to Natsu to throw her off her game.

She should have expected it, really.

"What I'm trying to say is, I am sorry for disappearing like that. But you have my word it won't happen again. Don't worry about me, I'm not planning on going anywhere."

She finally managed to stop talking, feeling a little out of breath from her confession, and waited with a fluttering heart for him to respond, wringing her fingers anxiously as she did.

Natsu's eyes were narrowed as he looked at her, contemplating her words.

The heat around them seemed to double in a span of seconds as they looked at each other, the intensity of it making Lucy almost sweat under her layers.

It was in moments like these, that she was reminded that when he wanted to, her partner could be very intense.

It was easy to forget when his usual behavior was so carefree.

Natsu usually walked around like he owned the world, and was certain that everything would always work out for him.

And to his credit, from what she's witnessed so far, it does.

Either way, being on the receiving end of his gaze when he was like this was nerve-wracking in its own way.

There was no fear on her side, (like he could ever hurt her) but it did something, Lucy just wasn't ready to dig into it.

Not yet anyway, there was still so much she didn't know and now was not the time.

"I have this gut feeling that something terrible is coming. I don't know how to describe it, it's like an instinct, and those have never failed me before." He finally responded, a frown on his face as told her what's been worrying him.

"I can't tell you why, who, or even when. There's just a sense of terror looming over me that I can't seem to shake off."

Natsu's words made her heart sink and Lucy's gaze shifted to look at the cracked pavement, avoiding eye contact again. His tone was grave, and he looked visibly shaken by whatever this feeling was.

Lucy didn't know what to think at his revelation, a part of her wanted to dismiss Natsu's gut feeling, to just say it was unnecessary paranoia on his part from everything that's happened.

But the logical part knew that was probably not true.

His gut has yet to fail them.

"And I know you're not going anywhere, Fairy Tail is your home!" It was his tone that made her look back up, and what she saw was him smiling down at her.

Like a switch flipped, all his previous worries and fears were gone, replaced by one of his crooked smiles.

It was a little lopsided on the left side, but it made him look soft in a way.

Lucy smiled at him, feeling a familiar warmth envelop her down to her bones as they just smiled at each other for a moment.

"I'm sorry." He muttered quietly, breaking the comfortable silence that seemed to have overtaken them, making Lucy's smiling expression shift into a confused one.

"For being, Vigilant, or whatever." He explained as he looked around the street.

"It's easier to manage when you're around, and I like knowing that you're safe." This came out slightly muffled, as he spoke through his scarf, and Lucy felt like she was going to melt at how cute he looked.

She knew without a doubt that her cheeks were flaming red from his words and prayed she could play it off as being from the cold.

"It's okay, I'm glad I can help." Lucy stumbled through her words, cursing herself for being easily affected by his soft smiles.

A part of her felt bad for feeling annoyed by his overprotectiveness when he was going through these feelings alone.

Though he was a tad overbearing at times.

But knowing the reason behind it made her feel terrible. Maybe if she'd asked earlier she could have helped him in some way, or at least know that she was helping him.

Clearing her throat she tried again. "Thank you for telling me about your worries. I'm glad that you can find some comfort." Lucy said moving her hand to squeeze his shoulder. "I know that if and when someone decides to make a move, we will be ready. All of us."

She moved her hand down to clasp their hands and give him a comforting squeeze.

The casual intimacy that they're able to share still astounds her.

It just felt so normal.

"Honestly, I'd like to see someone try. I feel sorry for the poor bastards that come after Fairy Tail, they're in for a hell of a beating!" She said in a half-teasing tone, wanting to lighten the mood.

That got a smile out of the pink-haired man, and with a nod to her words, he pulled her down the street, resuming their search for a Magic Shop.

"You're right, anyone who dares to try is in for a world of hurt." His words came out teasing, but Lucy could hear the serious undertones and suppressed a shiver.

She knew a portion of what he was capable of, and it wasn't going to be pretty for anyone who dared threaten his friends.

"Come on, I think I can smell something over there." That was said with more genuine excitement, the tension of their conversation evaporating just as quickly as it came as Natsu started walking faster down one of the streets, with Lucy scurrying to keep up.

* ********* ********** ********** ********* *

Natsu watched fondly as Lucy roamed through the store, following behind her as she hummed her way down the isles, looking through all the magical baubles with pure excitement.

It was the only Magic Shop in the Village, but it was decently sized and had a good collection of items in his opinion.

Though he had no interest in buying anything today.

He usually only went to stores like this when he needed new clothes, or to replace something he'd broken, or burned.

No, Natsu was here solely because of Lucy.

She wanted to search every shop for a key, and he was damned if he wasn't going to help her.

He looked back to where he could see her rummaging through the rack of scrolls and smiled to himself at how cute she looked.

Her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as she meticulously read every title, and he found it incredibly endearing.

She was a weird girl.

Natsu knew that from the start, hence the nickname, but there was something in the way she appeared in his life out of seemingly nowhere, and managed to adapt and settle into it like it was nothing that just fascinated him in a way.

It seems like everything she does fascinates him.

And since the moment they met, it's like her very presence seems to have a calming effect on him.

Her determination to learn about herself and her magic inspired him, her will to live was extremely impressive, first with the Lethifold and then everything that happened with Phantom Lord, and her father.

He simply found her remarkable.

To find out your whole life was a lie, and adapt to your surroundings like you were always a part of them. It was incredible, to say the least.

Her power was also something that, at times, felt even older than his, and that was saying something. The depths of her potential were incredible, and that was in part what scared him.

A lot of people desire power and will stop at nothing to get it.

What he failed to mention earlier was that all of his instincts were screaming at him Lucy was going to be the one in danger, and by default that does mean Fairy Tail as a whole.

They always protect their own.

But someone out there was coming for his partner, and Nastu was not having it.

"Natsu! Come, look at this!" Lucy's voice sounded excited as she called out and he made his way to where she was standing still by the collection of scrolls.

'Maybe she found something about her magic or family.' He thought as he approached her smiling form.

"Look, this text here tells some kind of story about Dragons, I thought you might be interested. It's in a different language, but there could be something in here that could help with your search!" She beamed at him, and Natsu felt his heart clench at her thoughtfulness.

It's been a long time since anyone has taken him seriously regarding his father's disappearance.

Even in a world with magic, talking cats, and creatures of all kinds lurking in the dark, people still laughed and scoffed at any mention of a Dragon.

They supposedly haven't been seen in over 400 years.

And as much as he loved them, Natsu knew all his guild mates felt sorry for him, whether they believed his story or not.

Everyone has their shit, and at the end of the day, they are a family.

But after being laughed at in his childhood, and then being pitied for believing Igneel was out there after all these years...It was nice to have someone who genuinely wanted to help.

Someone who, dare he say, believes he has a chance of finding his father.

"That's a good find, there isn't much on Dragons out there these days." Natsu said with a smile as he took the parchment from her.

He inspected the paper and unraveled the scroll to see if he would recognize anything.

It seemed to be written in old Draconian, it was the language Igneel taught him, alongside English.

One of the rare times Natsu paid attention when learning was involved. Knowing an ancient dragon language just sounded so cool to an 8-year-old Natsu.

In the end, he learned it better than English and Erza had to enlist Levy's help with teaching him when he first showed up at the guild.

A shiver ran down his spine as he remembered Erza's lessons.

Never. Again.

"I think, I'll take it, maybe it ends up being helpful, and if not, then I have one more thing to remind me of Igneel." He told her with a smile as he shook off his thoughts of the past and tucked the scroll gently under his arm.

It's been a while since he's found something to read in Draconian.

It should be fun.

"Anything else catch your eye?" Natsu asked, curious to see what else she's found.

"Oh, I found this neat bag, that has like endless storage! It's so cool, there's also some jewelry that's cute, but I don't need it." Lucy answered him with a shrug, before going to show the bag she found.

It looked simple enough, a dark blue material held together by a strap with some star, and moon charms on it.

Natsu didn't follow woman's fashion, so he couldn't tell you if the bag was ugly or not, but Lucy seemed to like it.

Whether that's because it was magic, or cute was beyond him.

"That's awesome, you can store endless snacks in there for me, and fish for Happy!" He told her, his mouth watering at the prospect of endless food storage.

Lucy went to shove his shoulder, failing to suppress a smile at his bottomless stomach. "I am not storing raw or cooked fish in my new bag." She told him slowly and sternly, making Natsu pout at her.

There was a sigh from the blonde as she watched him pout. "If you're nice, I might store some snacks, but meat is out of the question!"

She gave in to him, but not without putting up a fight, as she pointed a finger in his direction. Making Natsu fight the urge to laugh at how cute she looked when she was rilled up.

"Okay, no meats." He said with raised hands in surrender. "That is a really cool bag though. Any keys?"

He decided to ask, curious to see if she'd had any luck as he'd begun wondering just how rare the Gate Keys were.

Lucy seems to be finding them everywhere she goes.

"No luck with that, though I was going to ask the shopkeeper on our way out." She told him as they continued roaming the store, albeit aimlessly this time.

"Well, what are we waiting for then? Let's go and ask the man." Natsu said as he took her hand in his and pulled her through the isles to the register.

* ********* ********** ********** ********* *

The Magic Shop didn't end up having any gate keys, but Lucy wasn't disappointed.

They have a big enough mystery with Leo's key and the fake job that lured them here, besides, she was sure there were more of them out there, waiting for her.

And when they are done with all of this, she is making Natsu take her to every Magic shop in the country.

It was nearing half past Eleven in the evening when they found themselves breaking back into the museum.

She and Natsu had staked the Museum as it closed, wanting to see what kind of security they had. It appeared that, apart from locking the doors, they didn't take any other precautions.

One of the windows in the back of the building was fortunately left unlocked, and it was surprisingly easy to get into.

Lucy thinks that in a small community like this, breaking and entering on public property must not be an issue.

"This is boring, I thought we were gonna dance through some lasers or something." Natsu half whined as they walked through the museum, looking for the display with Leo's key.

"Oh, you've watched too many action movies, they won't have that kind of security here." Lucy suppressed a laugh at his ridiculousness. "Though I am surprised by the lack of security." She mused her thoughts to him as they turned the corner into the room they were looking for.

The room where they found Leo's key on display that morning.

"It somehow feels stronger." Lucy said as she stopped at the entrance, feeling the intense magic energy of the key all the way from across the room.

Turning back, she looked at Natsu for support. His instincts were always accurate.

The pinkette gave her an encouraging nod, a flashed her a small smile. It gave her the necessary strength and with that, she stepped forward, with Natsu following one step behind until they were back in front of the glass.

"What do you think it means? That the energy is stronger now." Lucy asked after a few moments of them just staring at the display.

She could feel the buzz of magic envelop her more and more, the closer she got to the key.

It was a similar feeling to when she summoned her spirits, only somehow melancholy.

"I don't know, maybe it felt your magic this morning, and now it's reacting even stronger." Natsu theorized, and she felt him shrug one shoulder from behind her.

"I don't think there's an alarm on this, maybe I can just take it out of the glass." Lucy mumbled as she inspected the display for any hidden triggers for an alarm.

"Do you have the substitute?" She asked him and turned around so they were facing each other.

Natsu searched through his pockets before finally finding the key they had purchased earlier today.

It was a simple golden key.

They decided to break it in half and with Mira's help they managed to enchant it to look like Leo's key. This way, no one will notice it's gone, and a potential magical item is no longer on display for anyone to stumble onto.

"Here ya go, hurry up and make the switch so we can leave. This place gives me the creeps when it's dark like this." He told her as he handed the key.

"Okay, give me a minute, the last thing we want is to damage something." Lucy shot back as she turned to the glass display with a sigh.

Setting the fake key in her pocket, she carefully lifted the glass and handed it to Natsu, before taking Leo's key and replacing it with the fake.

She felt the zap of magic as her hand and the key touched.

The metal glowed and flared hot for a moment, stinging Lucy's palm slightly before simmering down. The glow was pulsing in and out this time and the key started tugging in her hand.

"What's happening?" Natsu asked from behind her as he noticed the glowing from her palm after placing the glass back into place.

"The key, it feels like it's pulling me somewhere." Lucy replied as she kept staring at her hand where the key was still omitting a faint pulsing glow as it continued to tug in her hold.

"Okay, let's go see where it'll lead us?" Natsu half proclaimed, half asked, making Lucy smile slightly to herself. He was letting her take the lead, it was nice.

"Yes, let's go see where it wants to go."

[lemoncrushh]

Out of Bounds - Chapter 32

STORY PAGE

Word Count: 2595

The weekend went by pretty fast. Harry had to work both Friday and Saturday night. Penny's band had a gig on Friday, so I went with Zack to go see them play. Joey met us up there as well, and it was nice to get to know him a little better. He's a sweet guy and fun to be around. He confided in me that he was a bit envious of Harry, and hoped he could find a nice gal like me. He asked if I had any friends I could hook him up with, to which I laughed and said no, but I'd be on the lookout.

Penny and I slept in on Saturday, both with slight hangovers. Then we watched chick flicks all day in our pajamas. Harry called before he left for work like he always did, and once he'd returned.

Before I knew it, it was Monday and time to go back to school. Professor Jacobson delved quickly into a lecture about our final chapter, giving us a heads-up on a quiz planned for the next week before our final exam. Professor Lloyd was also in full accelerator mode. Because I had missed so much of both classes when I'd been sick, I was rather behind. Fortunately for History class, all I really needed to do was study the end of the previous chapter. With English, however, I had missed the introduction to the new book that Lloyd had assigned, and apparently had told us to get on started on during the week of Thanksgiving. I had a lot of catching up to do.

I wasn't in the door ten minutes when my cell phone rang. A number that I didn't recognize was displayed, but because I had applied for a few jobs, I decided to answer it. I quickly regretted it.

"Hello, Tisa, this is Glenn Goodner."

It took me a moment to recognize the name, but once I did, I grimaced. The divorce lawyer.

"Hello," I greeted through my teeth.

"How are you today?" he asked in a cheerful voice.

I sighed. "I'm okay."

"Fantastic. I was calling to let you know a date has been set for court. Monday, the twenty-sixth of January, at two PM."

I was grateful that he hadn't continued with the small talk and just cut to the chase.

"That's fine," I told him softly. "Thanks."

"You're quite welcome," Glenn replied. "See you then."

He didn't wait for me to respond. I held my phone in my hand, debating whether or not to call Harry. Not that there was really much to say. The date was set. Done deal.

Instead, I made a sandwich and opened my laptop to search for more jobs. If I didn't find something soon, even if it was just temp, I might have to start applying for holiday help at the mall. The thought of that made my stomach churn, but at least it would be something. I had very little money in the bank. When I'd taken my last temp job, I'd opened a checking account of my own. The job hadn't been a financial necessity, but more of something to keep myself busy. I hadn't worked that job for very long, however, and the money would soon run out. I needed something fast.

I went to Harry's that night so we could go over our Sociology report again, but really it was just an excuse to see each other. We still had to present our report the next day since I'd been unable to that week before Thanksgiving, but we still knew it backwards and forwards.

"You okay, love?" Harry asked me, running a hand through my hair as I laid against his chest on the sofa.

"Yeah, why?"

"You seem...distracted. Like something's on your mind."

I scoffed. "There's a lot of things on my mind."

"Tell me."

I sighed loudly, gathering my thoughts. Harry pointed the remote at the television and turned it off, giving me his full attention.

"The date is set," I said matter-of-factly.

The room filled with silence before Harry muttered, "Oh. When is it?"

"January 26th."

"Okay. That's good, yeah?"

I paused for a moment. "Yes. Yes, I supposed it is."

I ran my hands over Harry's which were placed gently on my stomach. I traced the bottom of the anchor tattoo on his wrist with my finger and played with his rings.

"What else?" asked Harry. I'd been so lost in my own head, I almost jumped.

"I...um..." I stumbled. "I'm on my own, Harry."

"No, you're not," he argued. "You have me." He squeezed me tighter, kissing me on the top of my head.

"That's not what I mean," I frowned.

"I'm sorry. What do you mean?"

I bit my lip. "I haven't been on my own since I was twenty-one. I knew that when I left, but I guess it's just now really hitting me. I barely have any money. James is going to stop paying my bills. I have to get a job, and so far, no luck. And obviously I can't go to school after this semester is over. I guess I never really considered all of the things I took for granted being married. It's like I'm back at square one. I'm kind of scared to be honest."

Harry was quiet for a while, his hands still on my stomach. I could hear his breathing, feel his heart beating. Finally, he cleared his throat and spoke.

"Are you reconsidering?"

I widened my eyes. "The divorce? Oh God, Harry, no!" I sat up and glared at him. "Why would you think that?"

The look on his face showed a mix of worry and concern. He blinked a couple times before answering.

"It's just...I guess I could understand if you did."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "That's an awful thing to say."

"Tisa," Harry shook his head, "Putting my feelings for you aside. I just mean I could understand a woman finding comfort in security. I'm sure there's lots of women who stay in unhappy marriages for that reason."

"I don't want to be that woman," I commented.

Harry's expression softened. "Okay."

"I'm just afraid," I admitted.

"I understand that too. But you know I'm here for you. I'll help out any way I can."

"Harry, I can't ask you to do that."

"It's fine," he added. "If you're in a financial bind, I'm sure between Penny, Zack and me we can work it out until you're on your feet."

I sighed, leaning my head against his chest again, wrapping my arms around his torso.

"Thank you," I breathed into his t-shirt.

"It's what people do, Tisa," Harry expressed, rubbing my back. "They're kind to those they love and help when they can."

"Sounds like a Hallmark commercial," I joked.

"Don't mock me," Harry demanded, poking me in the side causing me to giggle.

"Or better yet, a Savings and Loan commercial."

This time Harry grabbed me and pinned me to the couch. He began tickling me, and I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe.

"Oh, I got it! State Farm!"

Before I could utter another word, Harry silenced me with his mouth on mine. His hands finally stilled from tickling me, and I fell into his kiss.

Crawford gave us another A and didn't count off points for my being sick. The rest of class was spent discussing the next chapter and our final presentations.

As Harry and I left class, I noticed Leslie looking at me funny. It wasn't really a piercing glare like she and the other mean girls would usually give, but it wasn't really pleasant either. I also took note of her friend Charice, who usually kept quiet anyway, but this time she wasn't even walking with Leslie. Instead, she'd stayed back at her desk, packing up her belongings until Leslie had left the classroom.

When Harry and I said our goodbyes and I watched him walk away, I caught a glimpse of Liz out of the corner of my eye. When I turned, I realized she was coming towards me.

"Hi, Tisa," she greeted, stopping in front of me.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"How are you?" she inquired.

"I'm okay."

I brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, not really sure what else to say. Liz had been helpful that day in the restroom, and I was glad that she didn't despise me, but we weren't exactly friends.

"That's good," she commented. "Everything okay with you and Harry?"

I pursed my lips and tried to keep myself from rolling my eyes. Here we go again.

"Yeah, why?"

Liz shrugged. "Just wondering." She paused to look at her feet before continuing. "I just kind of wanted to warn you about Britney."

This time I did roll my eyes. "I'm not worried about Britney."

"I know," she nodded. "And you shouldn't be, really. I think she's pretty harmless. But..."

"But what?" I raised an eyebrow.

"It's just..." Liz let out an exasperated breath. "She's still hung up on Harry."

"And?"

"Well...I haven't talked to her...you know, since I talked to you last. She's still pretty mad at me. But I know she's still friends with Leslie. And apparently she told Leslie that she didn't give a crap that Harry's with you. Because she's determined to get him."

I thought my eyes would fall out of their sockets from rolling them around so much.

"This is all so stupid and juvenile," I said.

"I know," Liz agreed. "I just wanted to give you a heads up. She's apparently still after him, so she'll probably be showing up at Mikado's a lot."

"Thanks," I groaned.

"You're welcome. Like I said, just thought I'd warn you. Glad you're feeling better."

Liz waved goodbye before I headed to the parking lot. As I drove home I was still shaking my head at all this Britney nonsense. It was somewhat humorous, but also very annoying. I hated stooping to her level, but the thought that kept racing through my mind was...Harry is mine! By the time I walked in the door, I was chuckling to myself.

My light mood was soon drained, however, when I noticed I had a text from Justine. Actually, it was more like a book. It was a good thing I kept my sound turned off during class, because she had sent me several messages in a row. More curious than anything, I sat on the sofa to read them.

J: Tisa, I know you don't want to talk to me. If I call, I know you won't answer, and if I leave a voicemail, you'll probably just delete it without listening to it. You might delete this too, but I figured this was my best shot at getting you to hear me out.

First of all, I'm not with James. In a way, I never really was "with" James. When he first called me and I met with him, he was very upset. I admit, I felt sorry for him. When I said I didn't tell him about you and Harry, that was the absolute truth. He figured it out on his own.

I was also truthful about Halloween night. I was with James that night. I felt really guilty about it afterwards, but then when the P.I. got your photos and James was angry, he came over and said he wanted to stay with me. I let him. Then the guilt started setting in again so I told him to go home to you. I knew you were having an affair with Harry, but I didn't want to be the cause of your marriage ending. I realize now that was completely selfish of me, and I'm sorry.

Up to this point, I honestly didn't know how serious things were with you and Harry. I contacted Glenn Goodner when James told me he wanted a divorce. Like I'd told you, Glenn was my divorce lawyer. But what I didn't tell you was that we used to have a thing. After my divorce from Chris, we went out a couple times and it turned into something. I'm not sure what to call it really. We were sleeping together, but it never got serious. We also would drink together. A lot.

Anyway, after I connected James with Glenn, we'd sometimes meet up at Mikado's. Sometimes it was just James and me, sometimes Glenn and me. It's cruel of me I know, but at first it felt good to play the spy, checking up on your boyfriend. Then, as usual, I felt guilty.

One night, James confided in me that he hadn't always been faithful to you. He told me about two times he cheated, but the way he confessed them to me made me think those weren't the only times. In fact, he made it sound like it was just a normal thing husbands do when they're stressed out and need a release. I was appalled.

I broke it off with James, telling him we shouldn't see each other anymore. That was the day before I ran into you at the supermarket. I really wanted to talk to you then, to make amends. You were such a good friend to me and I treated you like crap. But I guess I got what I deserved.

After that I called up Glenn. My rational side said not to, especially since he's James's lawyer. But I did anyway, and we went out drinking. I already had a good buzz going when he suggested we head over to Mikado's. Harry was our waiter. I started drinking heavily, as did Glenn, and I was feeling bitter that you hadn't wanted to talk to me. I don't remember everything, but I know some harsh words were thrown and I somehow got Harry fired.

I can't even express to you how very sorry I am, Tisa. I've been the worst friend. I just wanted to tell you the complete truth. If you don't believe me, I'll understand. I hope one day you'll find it in your heart to forgive me, but if not, I'll understand that too. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and if that's what Harry gives you, then he's perfect for you.

As I said, I'm no longer in contact with James, nor with Glenn. Not only because I think they are toxic for me, but because I still consider you my friend, and I need to do what's right.

If you decide to text me back, I'll be here. I wish you all the best.

I set my phone down on the end table and went into Penny's kitchen to find something for lunch. After finishing some leftover pasta and watching two reruns of The Golden Girls, I washed the dishes, picked up my laptop, and did more job searching.

It wasn't that I was trying to avoid the text. It wasn't really even that I didn't want to reply. I just didn't know what to say.

Finally, I closed my computer, sat back and picked up my phone again.

T: Thanks for the text. I forgive you. But only because I feel in my heart that's the right thing to do. I think it's better though if we are not friends.

After hitting send, I returned the phone to the table and took a deep breath. I leaned my head back on the couch, waiting for the tears to fall, but they never came.

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[theblogofdavyjones]

The meaning of life

Pairing: Davy Jones x reader

Warnings: None

Requested: @loner56

Request: Hi, can I have a scene in which the reader is in a bad mood, doesn't want to see anyone and forgets where she is? (the reason is constant thinking about the meaning of life) Davy Jones sees that she is devoid of any emotions, and he worries about it, wants to know the reason. Thank you :)

***

The mood swings was a true mystery to you, you couldn’t come with anything other than of yourself constantly thinking of the meaning of life and where you were supposed to go and settle.

It had been on your mind constantly that you had even wrote poems about it, and the helped only slightly. One of the lines go a little something like this:

On the way

Tryna get where I'd like to stay

I'm always feeling steered away

By someone trying to tell me What to say and do, I don't want it

I gotta go find my own way

I gotta go make my own mistakes

The thought of life itself could make one go mad, depending on how often it’s in mind. Someone such of yourself, this thought played your mind all of the time. The only truths you could count on was that life is precious and you only live once, that much in truth you knew and could easily accept it.

That was it, you had hoped for the longest time that someone out there in the world would someday come forward to you with the right answer and were unsure if you would ever truly know. Another truth you had dug out to believe was that of life is never easy and never will be for anyone. It didn’t matter how much it’s portrayed by the people on the streets. Thinking of life was the very thought that poked your mind in the night, causing you to lose the sleep needed in order to carry out tasks the following day. Because of the lack of sleep you were getting, it left you with bags under your eyes and you looked as though you had been working yourself sick and took ill. Everyone had took notice but were timid to approach you of this due to the fact you were snapping at everyone who tries to take care of you, even those who care about you.

The first to approach you was Maccus, the captain’s first mate and you had snapped at him to leave you alone. Being it as it may, Maccus had quietly reported this incident to Davy Jones and Davy had been keeping a sharp eye on you ever since. Of course, Davy Jones had no plans to confront you about this, to see what was wrong, but there was a change of plans when he sees you snap at Bootstrap Bill just two days later, and that’s when he decided enough was enough. Davy goes to approach you and when he gets over to you, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, you were still snapping at Bootstrap Bill and had said some unkind things to him. As you were snapping at Bootstrap Bill to leave you alone, this only concerned Jones more.

“I just want to forget everyone and to forget where I am, Bootstrap! Why can’t you all leave me alone?!”

After saying that, Davy begins to wonder if something had happened or if one of the crew mates had something you weren’t reporting back to him like you should. Now was the time he was going to get to the bottom of it, whether you wanted him to or not.

“(Y/n), what’s wrong?” Davy asks concerningly.,

“Nothing… I just need some time for myself is all.” You say with a wavering like voice.

Davy Jones obviously doesn’t believe your response, so therefore, he wasn’t in any way pleased at all. He asks the question a bit more forcefully this time, but not before he barks orders for everyone to leave you both be unless they want a horrific fate with the kraken. You couldn’t lie, watching everyone around you scrambling away regarding the orders of the captain, was quite amusing.

Not only was it amusing for you to watch, but it had also helped a small smile spread your pink rose lips, a smile that no one had seen in days, one of the things they missed about you. But the smile quickly vanishes the second Davy whips around towards you in a blink of an eye. You’d be lying if you were to say it didn’t cause fright because it certainly did.

“You want to tell me what’s really going on?”

“I honestly don’t know, I haven’t known for the last few days myself.”

Part of that was out of complete honesty while the other part wasn’t, it was far from the truth. If anyone knew Davy Jones in the way you did, you would know how easy it would be for him to sniff out lie just as quickly as if he were to pull the rug out from under your feet. Davy partially knew the answer was truthful at some degree, but he keeps pressing forward for more nonetheless.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

You were the only crew mate onboard the Dutchman, and it was unbeknownst to you. With you not having that knowledge, you were quite surprised but you’ve become more honest with your captain at this point, now that everyone was gone. It took after a brief moment’s of hesitation before you spill the beans on what’s been going on in your mind.

“Honestly… no. No I’m not okay.” You finally admit, looking away.

“What is it than?”

Davy Jones was truly sincere at this point so you proceed to share your thoughts with, and again with everyone gone, it made it easier for you to be more open. In other words, you felt comfortable sharing your thoughts with Davy. Davy listens intently as you go on to explain what had you question the meaning of life.

For moment, Davy was baffled and didn’t know what to say or know what he could do to help you. That was until he said something he often said when recruiting new members on the Dutchman. Davy wanted to explain it in the best way possible to help you properly understand, in the best way possible.

“Sometimes I feel as though I don’t have a purpose in life. I need some kind of sign to show that in fact I do have a purpose for walking the earth and what my life should be about, where I should be and settle.”

As much as you trusted Davy enough to tell him this, it didn’t help make it any easier as your voice shook, wavered while holding back tears. You than jump slight at the feel of Davy’s more human hand reached out and placed on your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. Than out of the blue, you started reciting yet another verse of your poem, Davy could hear it but he couldn’t quote understand it so you repeat the line for him.

Sorry man for feeling

Feeling the way I do

Davy couldn’t bear it any longer, so he took hold of your hand before starting to make the way to the top deck, a place where you were viewed among the whole crew if not the whole world. It wasn’t until hearing those lines did Davy realized that you were devoided of any emotions there ever was in the world. Davy didn’t want you feeling this way during your time on the Dutchman and figured this was the best way to show that you indeed had a purpose there just as you would anywhere else in the world you chose to go.

No one had done anything so kind for you, just to show that they care, and this had tears beginning to well in your eyes. They were the kind of tears that you were able to hold back before one is let to slip down your cheek. You didn’t show it as Davy made a wholehearted, beautiful speech about you, about how lucky the crew was to have you and had better treat you right. The speech was made in front of the whole Dutchman residence and as the speech was being given, Davy’s human like hand never left your as he unexpectedly threw them both in the air as of to say you have united the ground in which you stood on. When it was just the two of you once more, Davy pulled you aside and whispered sweet beautiful words in your ear before letting you go. Despite Davy’s cruelty and dead heart, you now know that he looked at you differently than most.

Which was a nice feeling.

“(Y/n), I don’t want you to feel that way ever again. Understood?”

You nod.

During that time, you hug Davy of course and walk away with just only more a peaceful set of mind, but with less worry, along with a final line of your poem.

By the way, you I know your path has been tried and so

It may seem like the way to go

Me, I'd rather be found

Trying something new

And the bottom line

In all of this seems to say

There's no right and no wrong way

Sorry if I don't feel like

Living the way you do

Saying this in a way for it was only you who could hear it.

***

@theblogofdavyjones

Requests: open

A/N: Lyrics are from The Offspring’s “Meaning of Life”

Tags: @royisrandom @always-on-hiatus @princessofthornsandroses @justafairytailofinnocence @mypookiebeardavyjones @marsswann @friendlynova @personlovinganime @marsswann @imalittleoutthere

[riversofmars]

Chapter 20: Interruption

You know that feeling when you're expecting a step and there isn't one? The way you step into nothing because you weren't paying attention and you stumble? That was exactly what things had felt like for the longest time. Every time I thought we had achieved something, reached a new benchmark, things took an unexpected and usually dreadful turn for the worse. Whether it was the Daleks, the things that had happened to my friends or the destruction of my life and that of so many others, it was more than missing a step, it was like the ground beneath our feet wasn't steady enough to stand on. I had genuinely thought things would be fine once we got back to London and rejoined our friends. Yes, things could have been a bit awkward with Tania and we weren't rid of the Daleks just yet, but we had all the tools and backup to sort things out. Helen and I were fine. River was there. We had the Crystalliser. London lying in ruins had not been part of the equation. And while the Crystalliser remained safe in my pocket, River and the Doctor might well be lost. Surely this was not a timeline we wanted to see to its conclusion and yet I got the distinct sense that we wouldn't have another option.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, I stumbled over my feet, expecting another step but finding solid ground instead.

"We need to make it to a platform and get onto the tracks from there." I felt my way around the open space of the corridor while refusing to let go of Helen's hand. She came with me willingly until I found the smooth, tiled wall. At least there seemed to be no damage down here.

"How are we going to find the right one?" She asked mournfully. "And how are we supposed to know which way to go down the tracks once we get there?" She had valid points. We couldn't just wander in the dark forever.

"Let's try and find the sonic?" I suggested, surely it couldn't have rolled far and I sensed Helen nodding.  

"There we are!" River's voice boomed down the tunnel and Helen and I both yelped in shock but also relief.

"Shit. River! You nearly gave me a heart attack," I shouted back, breathing a sigh of relief. "And the Doctor?"

"All present and correct,” the Doctor’s voice cut through the dark and suddenly a beam of light shone down the stairs blinding me and Helen.

"Where did you find that?" Helen called up, shielding her eyes with the back of her hand and I did much the same. As our eyes adjusted, we spotted the Doctor and River descend the stairs with a torch in hand.

"An archaeologist never travels without a torch, how else am I going to ransack a tomb?" River grinned, evidently in good spirits as her plan seemed to have worked. I glanced past them to the top of the stairs where the ceiling had collapsed and prevented the Daleks following us.

"Let's move,” the Doctor gestured for us to keep going and bent down to pick up her sonic screwdriver that had rolled off to the side at the bottom of the escalators.

"Let's,” I agreed, exchanging a smile with Helen who was already tugging me along towards the platforms.

---

The next bit was easy, relatively speaking. It was a long walk but there were no Daleks, no interruptions. Helen’s memory of the London Tube Map came in handy once more as we followed the tracks towards where we knew the UNIT hideout to be.

"That's it! Euston!" She exclaimed, relieved as she seemed to recognise where we were. Personally, I couldn’t really tell. All the tunnels looked the same to me but I trusted Helen’s memory and sense of direction.

"No Daleks, that's a good sign,” the Doctor observed stalking ahead with River, scanning the tunnel with her sonic. She found the security system and disengaged it as Kate had done the time she had brought us here. It was reassuring that it was still operational and gave me hope that our friends had not been discovered. That was, if they had been in their base or managed to get back to it among the chaos rather than engaging in-

"Liv..." Helen interrupted my worried thoughts and held me back for a moment.

"Yes?" I turned to her as we fell behind and there seemed to be no good reason for her stopping us. No good reason other than her leaning forward to kiss me. It was a lovely moment in the gathering darkness of the tunnel as River and the Doctor moved further ahead. We had to get going but I understood what she wasn’t saying. I kissed her back, softly and reassuringly, and knew that we probably wouldn’t get another chance to share intimacies for some time.

"It'll be fine," I told her, knowing full well what had prompted her action and Helen just smiled in the twilight.

"Yes, it will be fine, you will be fine, we will all be fine," she replied earnestly and kindly and I took her meaning. She was talking about bigger things than her and me. She was referring to what we might find on the other side of the heavily barricaded doors that the Doctor and River had come to a halt in front of. I took a deep breath and nodded. I stole another kiss, for good luck, and I loved the way Helen still flushed self-consciously but with such joy, it warmed my heart.

“Are you two coming?” River called down the tunnel to us and we couldn’t delay any longer. We rushed to join our friends. The Doctor gave the lock of the heavy iron door a buzz and her wife pushed against it.

"Let me,” I offered and let go of Helen's hand at last to join River. The door had clearly been barricaded from the other side but between the four of us, we managed to push it open.

There was no-one to greet us, not just yet. It took a moment for the UNIT troops to realise their base had been compromised, they were far more concerned with other matters. All four of us froze where we stood, an isle of stillness among the chaos we found.

"Oh God..." I breathed and for a moment, I was reminded of the fateful moment I had stepped out into the destruction of the Hyralis Mine on Nixyce VII.

"DOCTOR!" Kate Stewart’s shout of relief pulled us out of our stupor. She hurried towards us and with her, our Doctor.

"LIV! HELEN!" He beamed and I released the breath I hadn’t realised I was holding. He was fine. Though so many others didn’t seem to be. I found myself and Helen wrapped in a crushing hug of greeting. It was rather unlike the Doctor to show such physical affection which showed just how glad he was to see us. 

“We’re okay,” I huffed into his chest as I tried to pull free. “But what happened-” He wasn’t quite listening. He had spotted River who hung back for a moment.

"River?" He questioned cautiously and I recalled that in this timeline, he had already learned about who she was and who she would become to him. He cast a glance to his other self who was already marching off further into the base, trying to get the lie of the land and - I expected - to check her companions were alright.

"How can we help?" River didn’t dwell on explaining her presence, there were far greater concerns, and I couldn’t agree more.

"Are there many injured?" I demanded urgently and all Kate seemed able to do was nod.

"Martha will be grateful for an extra pair of hands,” she answered.

"I can help, too," Helen added quickly and we wasted no time rushing towards the hospital corridor.

"Liv, the Crystalliser," River shouted after me, halting us in our tracks just long enough for me to pull the precious piece of technology from my coat, quite happy to relinquish responsibility. "I will be right behind you,” she assured us and turned to Kate to fill her in.

"Liv, Helen-" Martha spotted us immediately once we arrived at the make-shift hospital. There were more beds than the last time I had seen it. Many more. And a hell of a lot more patients too of varying degrees of injury. Some had been seen to, others not so much. It was an awful lot to deal with and while Martha seemed to have help from able bodied UNIT staff, she was the only medic.

"You're okay,” I observed, relieved to find she seemed in good health, if visibly exhausted. It was impossible to tell how long ago the attack had taken place. Perhaps as much as a twelve hours, and she’d likely been working non-stop.

"So are you. What a relief,” she replied, managing a tired smile. "You’re a sight for sore eyes."

"How can I help?" I asked, eager to share the burden, but my attention wavered when I spotted a familiar face in a nearby bed. "Tania..." I rushed to her bedside and immediately, my eyes were drawn to the gruesome upon fracture of her right tibia. While she appeared alert and well enough otherwise, it was a serious injury.

"Not as bad as it looks, I assure you,” Tania put on a brave face as we gathered around her bedside.

"It actually is as bad as it looks,” Martha interjected. “I’m sorry, I just haven’t had time-” She broke off. “I think we’ve treated all life-threatening injuries now, provided quick fixes all around, now we actually need to see too-”

“It’s alright, we’ll just work our way through,” I told Martha, giving her an encouraging smile and she nodded, gesturing towards Tania:

"Would you be okay to…”

"Yes, yes, absolutely,” I agreed quickly, but couldn’t help asking: “What exactly happened here?" I started having a closer look at Tania’s leg that had only had the bare minimum of treatment so far. While it wouldn’t have been a priority in the first instance, it couldn’t be left much longer. If it was there would have been a good chance of Tania losing her leg. I was determined not to let that happen.

"The Daleks got angry," Martha responded bitterly. "We can explain later. If you're okay here, there are a lot more people to treat and-" She sounded apologetic among her exhaustion and she had no reason to be. She was doing the best she could and from what I could tell, she had done a great job.

"Helen will help too," I glanced around to Helen who was looking on mutely, her expression one of deep worry. This was certainly not how either of us had envisaged our reunion with our friends. Suddenly our concern over seeing Tania and having to break some uncomfortable news seemed so utterly mundane and insignificant. Helen appeared to be thinking much the same.

"Of course, whatever I can do,” she said, turning her attention to Martha who smiled gratefully.

"There are a lot of minor injuries I haven’t been able to see to yet," she explained quickly and led Helen away. “If you could do some bandages and…” Her voice trailed off in the noise that surrounded us and my attention turned back to Tania when she asked:

"Did you have a good trip?” She gave a weak smile and I knew her well enough to tell she was trying to mask her pain and worry.

"Yeah, just brilliant,” I huffed as I removed the sterile dressings from her leg to have a proper look. She already had a splint around her leg to stabilise the fracture but her bones that had broken the skin were in dire need of realigning and fixing.

"Your arms..." She noted with concern and reached out but I pulled away and moved to the bottom of the bed for a better angle.

"Just a scratch. Not as bad as your leg," I observed and put my hands to her calf, turning it as lightly as I dared.

"Damn it," Tania hissed, gripping the side of the bed, her face contorting in pain.

"Not as bad as all that, is it?" I hummed and tried my best to distract her as I turned away to one of the cupboards in search of painkillers. “I’m gone for two minutes, what are you like?”

“Oh, because it’s my fault the Daleks decided to bomb the city,” she gave a dry laugh in response.

“How are you feeling?” I queried, drawing up medication into a syringe.

“Pretty shitty but Martha says I’ll live,” she answered with a sigh. “Her bedside manner is better than yours so I’m tempted to believe her.” The quip made me feel better. So long as she had the energy to joke, things would likely be okay.

“You don’t know what my bedside manner is like,” I shot back and injected her leg.

“That one time I had a sore throat?” She countered and I laughed:

“Come on, that wasn’t even bad.”

“No compassion,” Tania sighed theatrically and I decided on a course of action.

"I'm gonna need to realign your bones, probably put in a screw or two... You're gonna want to be knocked out for this,” I told her earnestly.

"How about you just tell me about your trip and distract me from what you're doing?" She countered, obviously not exactly keen on the prospect. "Did you get what you were looking for?"

"I think so, yeah. We got help at the very least,” I reported and looked around for what we had in terms of equipment. The make-shift hospital was well stocked, I expected I’d be able to perform surgery without much difficulty.

"Well, we could do with help..." Tania smiled. "How's Helen?"

"Fine,” I answered curtly as I gathered together everything I’d need. I wasn’t prepared to talk to her about Helen, no yet, not under these circumstances.

"How are you?" She continued probing and I remained stoic:

"Also fine."

"And really?" Of course she didn’t drop the matter but I couldn’t really answer her.

"I'm going to knock you out just so you stop bothering me,” I warned her, sternly but kindly.

"Fair enough,” she chuckled and leaned back on the bed. "You are a good doctor though, aren't you? I'm not gonna wake up minus a leg and an arm?” She questioned as I set up the working space. It wasn’t quite the same as having an operating theatre but I would make due.

"Minus an arm, no, minus a leg-" I hummed, as I drew up the sedative.

"Is it really-" Her face fell and I smiled as I busied myself setting up an IV line:

"It should be fine, I will do my best. Don't worry,” I assured her and meant it, making quick work of cannulating her arm.

"I don't. I trust you,” she answered, watching with mild interest as I hung up the IV bag.

"Good, well. Others have made that mistake before,” I hummed and injected the sedative into the IV line.

"Shut up, Liv..." She rolled her eyes at me but that was all she could manage before losing consciousness. She was out for the count in moments and I set about fixing her leg.

---

I hovered outside the medical office, contemplating my options only to find that I didn’t have any. The instructions had been quite clear. I had gotten as far as this, avoiding the dreaded medical exam, but I couldn’t delay any longer. I had spent the entire lunch seeking a way out but Dal and the others would have questioned it if I hadn’t gone. I couldn’t allow for this to be the end of it, I had gotten too far to lose it all now. If I was released from the program, I had nowhere else to go. My one advantage - and I tried to reassure myself of that not to lose my nerve altogether - was that I knew how these medical systems worked and maybe, just maybe, I could find a way of doctoring the results. It was a long shot but all I had.

Voices sounded to the far end of the corridor and I realised I couldn’t delay any longer, so I walked inside.

“Ah, Med-tech Chenka,” the Institute’s resident med-tech greeted me. He was a young man, younger than me by at least a decade and I hoped still a little green behind the ears. Perhaps I could talk him round.

“Yes, I was told to come and waste my afternoon here,” I answered hoping to strike a balance between sounding annoyed, but not directing my apprehension at him. I wanted to make him sympathetic to me.

“Yours is the only medical assessment we’re missing,” he gave me a polite, apologetic smile. “And it certainly won’t take all afternoon. Assuming you’re healthy, you will be in and out of here in no time.” He gestured towards an examination table.

“Well, obviously, I am. As a med-tech myself I can assure you there is no need for this,” I countered, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I had no intention of getting on the bed if there was a way around it.

“Regardless, procedure is procedure,” he answered and his mellow, patient response was most annoying. “And there are conditions you probably wouldn’t be able to diagnose on yourself without equipment, therefore-” He repeated the gesture towards the bed.

“I had a full check up on Nixyce VII,” I continued but to limited success.

“I’m afraid we haven’t got that data,” he picked up a tablet where he was likely pulling up my file and checking for said data. “Though I believe we are in the process of trying to retrieve it.”

“You are?” That was not something I had expected and I was overwhelmed for a moment.

“Just filling in everybody’s CVs, it’s procedure,” he waved it off and put the tablet down. “But we like to do our own assessments either way. If you’d just hop on the bed for me,” he requested more directly.

“Fine.” I knew that I couldn’t argue any longer. My avoidance of the procedure had already been noticed and would only look more suspicious the longer I kept it up. I was also temporarily thrown by the news that ISI were trying to retrieve information about Nixyce VII. I dreaded what they might find if they did. Reluctantly, I got onto the examination table, gripping the edge tightly, hoping my anxiety wasn’t too obvious. The med-tech seemed quite oblivious to it and wheeled the medi-unit closer.

“You know the drill,” he told me and I did, so I lay down on the bed, trying my best to relax. I was in for a full body assessment. “The scan lasts ten minutes.” This was my one and only hope, I needed him to go elsewhere for the duration of the scan.

“Yup, great,” I answered curtly, hoping to cut short any sort of conversation and drive him off.

“Do you have any other questions? Any health concerns?” He carried on, picking up his tablet again to make notes.

“Nope, all good,” I kept my response short and he nodded along.

“Excellent, excellent...”

“I’m sure you have plenty more important things to do than stand here while the scan runs,” I said, growing impatient with his failure to move along.

“Nothing is more important than that mission at the moment,” he looked up from the tablet, obviously bewildered.

“Right…” I realised I would have to change my tactics. “Actually, there is something…” For a start, I had to pull his attention away from the screens. I had no way of knowing how quickly the damage would show.

“Yes?” Suddenly, he was all ears and I knew I had to find a way of utilising that.

“My, uh-”

“Anything that might be of concern in any way,” he prompted eagerly.

“Gosh, it’s a bit embarrassing,” I feigned insecurity but there wasn’t any pretending involved as I was flying by the seat of my pants at that point.

“Anything at all, Med-tech Chenka,” he put on his best bedside manner and stepped closer. It was rather amusing.

“Well, it was a long journey here and I- I do have some concerns regarding my nutrition,” I ran with the first thing that came to my mind. “I know I’ve been here a while now but… I was just wondering whether there might be any value in me taking some supplements?”

“If there is cause for concern, the scans will show-” He wasn’t quite able to hide his disappointment of it being such an insignificant thing but I intended to milk it for all it was worth. If there was one thing I was good at, it was causing a fuss.

“I’d really appreciate it if you could prescribe some,” I interrupted him.

“If they’re indicated-” He started once more but I interjected again:

“I do, on occasion I feel fatigued and not for a lack of sleep. As a well-qualified med-tech, I can tell when my body is missing something and I want to be in the best possible condition for these preparations,” I argued, determined to keep his attention from any scan results that might or might not be starting to appear on the screen of the medi-unit. “You did say this mission was of the utmost importance.”

“Why of course,” he sounded affronted at my questioning of his priorities and I could tell I nearly had him.

“So perhaps you could grab me some? So I don’t have to come back for them and waste more of my valuable time that I could spend preparing,” I drove the point home and it did the trick. He grew flustered.

“Yes. Naturally,” he stuttered. “Of course!” He put his tablet down and made for the adjoining room.

It was then or never. I couldn’t be sure how far away the medicine stocks were or how long it would take him to retrieve them, but I had one chance and nothing to lose. I would lose my place either way if my medical condition was discovered, getting caught would be no worse. I couldn’t leave the scanning area but I could reach for the controls but I sat up and turned the machine towards myself. It wouldn’t take much. Swapping out the source data of the scan for baseline results from the database, anything would do, anyone healthy, just import the file… My heart was pounding and I could see as much on the screen, it was still drawing on my actual vitals, the import was taking too long… And that was the first time I saw the actual damage too. It was one thing being told you were terminally ill, quite another to see it and know what the readings meant. I tried to steady my breathing, blur out the rapid beeping of increased heart rate and briefly considered the irony if this was what killed me: If my heightened state drove me into the metabolic collapse that would one day shut down my organs…

Footsteps made my head snap up and I quickly pushed the controls away from me turning the machine around and swinging my legs back onto the bed. Everything was happening at once and I sent a prayer to unnamed forces when suddenly, silence fell. Silence only interrupted by the return of the medic.

“These should do it, all round supplements, get you to peak physical condition,” he reported enthusiastically and pushed a small tub into my hand. Quickly he turned his attention to the medi-unit. “And talking of peak condition: Your scans look textbook perfect!”

“Told you,” I smiled with my heart beat still pounding in my ears. “Nothing to worry about.”

---

We worked all day and all night. Not that I could have told when one ended and the other started. We worked until everyone was looked after.

"Looks like I still have my leg,” Tania commented when I went to check back on her later on.

"Looks like it,” I smiled, content with what we had been able to accomplish.

"You ought to get some rest now as well. You look shattered," she observed and I was beginning to feel the tiredness as well. I had sent Martha off to bed a few hours prior once all major injuries were dealt with and with the help of some volunteers and Helen, I had seen to scrapes, bruises and cuts to be wrapped up.

"It's been an eventful few days..." I hummed, looking around to find most people asleep.

"Liv?" Helen’s voice carried over to me and I glanced around. She kept her distance but it was quite obvious she wanted me to join her.

"Go, go on,” Tania encouraged. “I could do with some sleep…”

“Rest up,” I bid her goodnight and walked over to where Helen was waiting for me.

"How is she?" She asked.

"I fixed her leg. She'll be fine,” I reported with a tired smile, “How are you?"

"Knackered," she admitted with a sigh, rubbing her tired eyes. "Do you think we can get a night's rest at last?" We had done what we could. There wasn’t much else to do now.

"Not until we find out what happened,” I decided and Helen nodded in agreement. We had put the nagging questions to one side as we’d worked but it was time for answers.

"How are things?" Kate greeted us as we entered her make-shift office. She wasn’t alone. The Osgoods were there, as were the Doctors and River. As it turned out, our friends had been lucky, only sustaining minor injuries, Tania had had the worst of it.

"Stable for now. Everyone is as well as can be expected," I reported. "Do you think you could-" I looked around the room questioningly and the UNIT chief nodded:

"Fill you in? Of course, but there is not much to say..."

“Things didn’t quite go according to plan in your absence…” Our Doctor spoke up. “The Daleks decided our little provocations were too much. Disproportionate response… you saw the results. It was almost as if they knew there was something else going on…” 

“It was likely the fact that they noticed us on the flight back, when they shot us down,” River reported thoughtfully and my stomach dropped. If we had been a little bit more careful, none of this would have happened. The feeling of guilt made me nauseous and the same was evident in River and the Doctor’s expressions. We had messed up.

“Now that you’re back, we need to find a way to defeat the Daleks and reset the timeline, we have to try again. We can’t let this destruction stand,” Kate spoke determinately.

“We can’t,” the blonde Doctor interjected sorrowfully as they didn’t seem to have broached the subject until now. While we had seen to the injured, the others had worked to fortify the base and went out looking for more survivours. It wasn’t just UNIT personnel e had seen to, but plenty of civilians that they had set out to save. It wasn’t as though there were any other hospitals available…

“What?” Kate was confused and rightfully so.

“She’s right, we can’t reset the timeline, this is our one, our only option,” our Doctor added mournfully and exchanged a look with his older self. They had clearly discussed things already.

“Why? All we have to do is-” Osgood seemed at a loss as well and the blonde Doctor interjected calmly:

“If the Daleks reset the timeline now there is no way of knowing what will happen.”

“Professor Song...” Kate looked to River, who gave a sad smile. She had studied the notebook I had been given. She appeared to be drawing all the right conclusions about her not being meant to be here.

“The amount of people that died-” Osgood objected.

“It’s not just that…” The future Doctor interrupted. “While things didn’t go according to plan for you, they did for us. More so than we could have imagined. In any other timeline without River, we wouldn’t be able to get this.” She gestured towards her wife who seemed relieved to finally be able to deliver some good news.

“Quantum Crystalliser,” the professor revealed as she pulled the item from her coat that she had taken off me earlier.

“What is a Quantum Crystalliser exactly?” Kate frowned and looked to Osgood for an explanation but it as River that answered:

“The thing that is going to help us win. I’m sorry but… we have to carry on, we have to do this,” she explained calmly. “But this will be able to ensure the best possible outcome.”

“Even with so many dead? I don’t see how that can be a desirable outcome,” it was Helen that spoke up and I was surprised. She had been with us the entire way, she knew there was no other course of action, and still, she voiced her doubts. I admit, she was probably right to. I, too, couldn’t see a way in which this timeline could have a happy ending.

“We will work something out,” our Doctor decided at last and clapped his hands together. There was no point in moping about it. “We will make a new plan and who knows, time can be rewritten.”

“Of course it can,” River’s smile seemed forced and the other Doctor didn’t say anything at all, she simply lowered her gaze.

“Alright then, if that’s how it’s going to be…” Kate held up her hands, deferring to the judgement of the Time Lords. “I do hope you have a use for this Crystalliser and a way forward?” She looked around the room and the blonde Doctor nodded.

“The beginnings of a plan, yes.”

"Get some rest you two,” River turned to Helen and me. “There will be a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Alright…” I mumbled, rubbing my face. I could hardly keep my eyes open and it wasn’t as though anything else would happen tonight. I could tell Helen was struggling as well, leaning in the doorway to keep herself upright, so I didn’t argue the point.

“I’m glad you two are okay,” our Doctor spoke up and I smiled:

“Likewise, Doctor.”

---

“Where do we even go?” Helen huffed as we headed down the corridors that had been set up as accommodation. I had only seen them briefly when accompanying Tania down here but there didn’t seem to be much in the way of organisation.

“I suppose just grab any room available…” I mused and we came upon an empty one soon enough. I didn’t want to pose the question that had forced itself to the forefront of my mind, but the silence between us virtually echoed with it.

“Liv?“ Helen mumbled and grabbed hold of my hand before I could head into the room.

“Yeah?” I turned back. We were alone in the corridor, no-one to witness our exchange and yet, Helen dropped her voice to a whisper.

“Do you want me to look for another room or would you want me to… stay?“ She asked timidly and without looking at me. My heart jumped into my throat. Rationally I had been aware of the decision that needed to be made but I hadn’t expected Helen to pose it as bluntly as that. “I mean… would you want me to stay?” She tried to steady her voice with limited success.

“Would you want to stay?” I responded softly, as I didn’t want to push her. Helen had needed such a long time to reach this point, I didn’t want to rush her now just because she thought I might be expecting as much.

“Yeah…” She answered, her voice barely more than a whisper and then fell into stuttering justifications: “I mean not to… just… we could sleep… rest… together, I mean, next to each other, I mean… your nightmares, you don’t sleep as well as you should… so… do you think it might help if… I stayed?“ It was a roundabout way of saying she wanted to spend the night with me but I didn’t pull her up on it. I could only imagine how hard voicing this had to be for her so I simply smiled and nodded eagerly:

“Yes.“

Nothing would have made me happier. The world was dark and dreadful around us, but the thought of spending the night beside Helen gave me all the optimism and resolve I needed.

[lyranova]

Sleepless Night

Hiya guys! So this is another practice oneshot, it is 18+ so minors DNI! It focuses on Zerilliam (My OC and William) and it’s basically just phone sex except they use the communication devices 😆. I hope you all enjoy~!

Word Count: 1,203

Warnings: 18+, Orgasm, Masturbation, Hint at Breeding Kink at the end

———

Zera sighed dramatically as she flopped onto her bed. Her husband, Captain William Vangeance, was away on a mission with a few members of his squad so she practically had the whole place to herself. Which wasn’t a bad thing normally, but for some reason, tonight, she was feeling very lonely. Maybe it was because her husband had been away for a lot longer then he usually was?

Zera reached over and grabbed the communication device off her nightstand and stared at it. He had told her to contact him in case of an emergency, but would it be okay to contact him even if it wasn’t one? Or would he get upset?

“ Zera? Are you awake?” She suddenly heard her husband’s voice ask through the speaker on the communication device. She blinked in surprise before shaking her head.

“ I’m awake. But, why are you? Shouldn’t you be asleep?” She asked curiously and she heard him sigh.

“ I couldn’t sleep, this mission has been a little more difficult then we initially thought.” He said, his voice sounding a bit tired. Zera smiled sadly, she had a feeling that was the case since he was away longer then he had told her he would be.

“ Why aren’t you sleeping?” William asked her softly, Zera made a humming noise as as she debated on whether to tell him the truth or to just lie.

“ Because I miss you too much. I miss your warmth beside me when we’re sleeping, I miss your smile and laughter,” She swallowed a bit as her throat went dry. “ I miss your kisses, even the sleepy ones that are kind of sloppy, I miss your hands gently touching and caressing my body…” She continued softly, she heard William audibly swallow at her confession and she could just imagine how red his face was.

“ I…miss you too,” William admitted, his voice soft and full of warmth, but there was something else in it that she couldn’t quite place. “ I miss waking up to your beautiful face in the morning, I miss hearing you laugh, I…miss the warmth of your lips as they kiss mine before moving onto my neck, I miss your soft moans when I touch your favorite place…”.

Ah, now she recognized that other emotion; it was lust.

Zera swallowed as her throat grew even more dry and the spot between her legs grew uncomfortable at his words. He missed her to, and in almost the same exact way she had.

“ Do…you want to keep going?” William asked softly, she could hear this strange calmness in his voice. He was holding himself back as he usually did, she bit her bottom lip in thought as she stared down at the communication device. She wanted to keep going, but she was also worried that they would get caught.

“ As long as you make sure to keep your voice down,” She told him with a teasing tone in her voice, she could hear him chuckle on the other end as well. But then she heard him get up and move around what she assumes was his tent. She heard him move the opening of his tent for a moment before he walked back over to his bed and sat down.

“ Everyone seems to be asleep in their tents, so I think we’ll be okay. But I promise I’ll keep my voice down, as long as you try to do the same.” William said softly but also with a teasing tone in his voice. Zera chuckled but agreed.

“ Oh, I have one more favor to ask you,” Zera grinned a little sheepishly even though he couldn’t see it. “ I want you to take the lead and tell me what to do.”

The device went silent for a few moments, all she could hear was William’s breathing. Usually she took control in bed and told him what to do, but there were times where she wanted him to be the one in control, and tonight was one of those nights.

“ If that’s what my wife wants, then I’ll be more then happy to oblige.” He said, his voice warm yet with this hoarse tone to it. She shivered slightly, she always loved it when his voice was like this.

“ I want you to imagine my lips on yours, gently kissing them before I begin making my way down your neck until I reach your beautiful breasts. Where I show them both equal attention, as my other hand slowly moves down your stomach until it reaches that sweet spot between your legs.” William’s voice was dripping with lust and want at this point and it only made Zera even more turned on.

Her hands began to move and tease her just as William would do, his voice guiding her the entire time. She moaned, whined, and squirmed as she touched all the places he had instructed her, it was just as though he were physically there with her, holding her, and instead of her hands it was his that were making her feel so good.

Normally when William was away and she took care of her wants and needs it just…didn’t feel the same. Sure it got the job done, but it didn’t satisfy her the same way as when William did it. It was strange.

She could quietly hear her husbands panting and quiet moans from the other side of the device, it seemed like she wasn’t the only one feeling good, which made her very happy.

“ William,” She moaned as she felt that well known pressure building up inside of her. “ I’m close, oh, I’m so close!” She nearly whined as it came closer and closer.

“ Me too darling, I’m close too.” He moaned to, his breath becoming more ragged and uneven, a sure sign he was close.

“ Ah, William!” Zera cried, a little louder then she had intended, as her orgasm washed over her. Making her limbs slightly tremble and her mind to go blank.

“ Just a bit more, Zera! Just a bit…!” William groaned through gritted teeth. After a few more seconds she heard him moan and call her name as he came.

The two panted as they tried to catch their breaths.

“ Well that was fun.” Zera chuckled after a minute or two, she heard her husband chuckle on the other end of the device as she imagined him nodding in agreement.

“ It was, but now it makes me want to hurry up and finish this mission sooner.” William said softly and Zera smirked mischiveously even though he couldn’t see it.

“ Well hurry up and finish the mission then. But once you get back be ready, because I’m not letting you leave our bedroom for a while.” Zera said and she suddenly imagined her husbands face being slightly red but with a smirk resting on his face.

“ How long is a while?”

“ Hmm…” She hummed in thought for a moment. “ Until you get me pregnant?”

“ Oh by the gods Zera!” She heard William groan and just imagined him covering up his embarrassed face as he tried to hide himself from her imaginary view. Zera began to giggle and laugh uncontrollably at him.

It was so much fun to tease her husband.

———

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a good day~!

[perpetual-stories]

Story Structures for your Next WIP

hello, hello. this post will be mostly for my notes. this is something I need in to be reminded of for my business, but it can also be very useful and beneficial for you guys as well.

everything in life has structure and storytelling is no different, so let’s dive right in :)

First off let’s just review what a story structure is :

a story is the backbone of the story, the skeleton if you will. It hold the entire story together.

the structure in which you choose your story will effectively determine how you create drama and depending on the structure you choose it should help you align your story and sequence it with the conflict, climax, and resolution.

1. Freytag's Pyramid

this first story structure i will be talking about was named after 19th century German novelist and playwright.

it is a five point structure that is based off classical Greek tragedies such as Sophocles, Aeschylus and Euripedes.

Freytag's Pyramid structure consists of:

Introduction: the status quo has been established and an inciting incident occurs.

Rise or rising action: the protagonist will search and try to achieve their goal, heightening the stakes,

Climax: the protagonist can no longer go back, the point of no return if you will.

Return or fall: after the climax of the story, tension builds and the story inevitably heads towards...

Catastrophe: the main character has reached their lowest point and their greatest fears have come into fruition.

this structure is used less and less nowadays in modern storytelling mainly due to readers lack of appetite for tragic narratives.

2. The Hero's Journey

the hero's journey is a very well known and popular form of storytelling.

it is very popular in modern stories such as Star Wars, and movies in the MCU.

although the hero's journey was inspired by Joseph Campbell's concept, a Disney executive Christopher Vogler has created a simplified version:

The Ordinary World: The hero's everyday routine and life is established.

The Call of Adventure: the inciting incident.

Refusal of the Call: the hero / protagonist is hesitant or reluctant to take on the challenges.

Meeting the Mentor: the hero meets someone who will help them and prepare them for the dangers ahead.

Crossing the First Threshold: first steps out of the comfort zone are taken.

Tests, Allie, Enemies: new challenges occur, and maybe new friends or enemies.

Approach to the Inmost Cave: hero approaches goal.

The Ordeal: the hero faces their biggest challenge.

Reward (Seizing the Sword): the hero manages to get ahold of what they were after.

The Road Back: they realize that their goal was not the final hurdle, but may have actually caused a bigger problem than before.

Resurrection: a final challenge, testing them on everything they've learned.

Return with the Elixir: after succeeding they return to their old life.

the hero's journey can be applied to any genre of fiction.

3. Three Act Structure:

this structure splits the story into the 'beginning, middle and end' but with in-depth components for each act.

Act 1: Setup:

exposition: the status quo or the ordinary life is established.

inciting incident: an event sets the whole story into motion.

plot point one: the main character decided to take on the challenge head on and she crosses the threshold and the story is now progressing forward.

Act 2: Confrontation:

rising action: the stakes are clearer and the hero has started to become familiar with the new world and begins to encounter enemies, allies and tests.

midpoint: an event that derails the protagonists mission.

plot point two: the hero is tested and fails, and begins to doubt themselves.

Act 3: Resolution:

pre-climax: the hero must chose between acting or failing.

climax: they fights against the antagonist or danger one last time, but will they succeed?

Denouement: loose ends are tied up and the reader discovers the consequences of the climax, and return to ordinary life.

4. Dan Harmon's Story Circle

it surprised me to know the creator of Rick and Morty had their own variation of Campbell's hero's journey.

the benefit of Harmon's approach is that is focuses on the main character's arc.

it makes sense that he has such a successful structure, after all the show has multiple seasons, five or six seasons? i don't know not a fan of the show.

the character is in their comfort zone: also known as the status quo or ordinary life.

they want something: this is a longing and it can be brought forth by an inciting incident.

the character enters and unfamiliar situation: they must take action and do something new to pursue what they want.

adapt to it: of course there are challenges, there is struggle and begin to succeed.

they get what they want: often a false victory.

a heavy price is paid: a realization of what they wanted isn't what they needed.

back to the good old ways: they return to their familiar situation yet with a new truth.

having changed: was it for the better or worse?

i might actually make a operate post going more in depth about dan harmon's story circle.

5. Fichtean Curve:

the fichtean curve places the main character in a series of obstacles in order to achieve their goal.

this structure encourages writers to write a story packed with tension and mini-crises to keep the reader engaged.

The Rising Action

the story must start with an inciting indecent.

then a series of crisis arise.

there are often four crises.

2. The Climax:

3. Falling Action

this type of story telling structure goes very well with flash-back structured story as well as in theatre.

6. Save the Cat Beat Sheet:

this is another variation of a three act structure created by screenwriter Blake Snyder, and is praised widely by champion storytellers.

Structure for Save the Cat is as follows: (the numbers in the brackets are for the number of pages required, assuming you're writing a 110 page screenplay)

Opening Image [1]: The first shot of the film. If you’re starting a novel, this would be an opening paragraph or scene that sucks readers into the world of your story.

Set-up [1-10]. Establishing the ‘ordinary world’ of your protagonist. What does he want? What is he missing out on?

Theme Stated [5]. During the setup, hint at what your story is really about — the truth that your protagonist will discover by the end.

Catalyst [12]. The inciting incident!

Debate [12-25]. The hero refuses the call to adventure. He tries to avoid the conflict before they are forced into action.

Break into Two [25]. The protagonist makes an active choice and the journey begins in earnest.

B Story [30]. A subplot kicks in. Often romantic in nature, the protagonist’s subplot should serve to highlight the theme.

The Promise of the Premise [30-55]. Often called the ‘fun and games’ stage, this is usually a highly entertaining section where the writer delivers the goods. If you promised an exciting detective story, we’d see the detective in action. If you promised a goofy story of people falling in love, let’s go on some charmingly awkward dates.

Midpoint [55]. A plot twist occurs that ups the stakes and makes the hero’s goal harder to achieve — or makes them focus on a new, more important goal.

Bad Guys Close In [55-75]. The tension ratchets up. The hero’s obstacles become greater, his plan falls apart, and he is on the back foot.

All is Lost [75]. The hero hits rock bottom. He loses everything he’s gained so far, and things are looking bleak. The hero is overpowered by the villain; a mentor dies; our lovebirds have an argument and break up.

Dark Night of the Soul [75-85-ish]. Having just lost everything, the hero shambles around the city in a minor-key musical montage before discovering some “new information” that reveals exactly what he needs to do if he wants to take another crack at success. (This new information is often delivered through the B-Story)

Break into Three [85]. Armed with this new information, our protagonist decides to try once more!

Finale [85-110]. The hero confronts the antagonist or whatever the source of the primary conflict is. The truth that eluded him at the start of the story (established in step three and accentuated by the B Story) is now clear, allowing him to resolve their story.

Final Image [110]. A final moment or scene that crystallizes how the character has changed. It’s a reflection, in some way, of the opening image.

(all information regarding the save the cat beat sheet was copy and pasted directly from reedsy!)

7. Seven Point Story Structure:

this structure encourages writers to start with the at the end, with the resolution, and work their way back to the starting point.

this structure is about dramatic changes from beginning to end

The Hook. Draw readers in by explaining the protagonist’s current situation. Their state of being at the beginning of the novel should be in direct contrast to what it will be at the end of the novel.

Plot Point 1. Whether it’s a person, an idea, an inciting incident, or something else — there should be a "Call to Adventure" of sorts that sets the narrative and character development in motion.

Pinch Point 1. Things can’t be all sunshine and roses for your protagonist. Something should go wrong here that applies pressure to the main character, forcing them to step up and solve the problem.

Midpoint. A “Turning Point” wherein the main character changes from a passive force to an active force in the story. Whatever the narrative’s main conflict is, the protagonist decides to start meeting it head-on.

Pinch Point 2. The second pinch point involves another blow to the protagonist — things go even more awry than they did during the first pinch point. This might involve the passing of a mentor, the failure of a plan, the reveal of a traitor, etc.

Plot Point 2. After the calamity of Pinch Point 2, the protagonist learns that they’ve actually had the key to solving the conflict the whole time.

Resolution. The story’s primary conflict is resolved — and the character goes through the final bit of development necessary to transform them from who they were at the start of the novel.

(all information regarding the seven point story structure was copy and pasted directly from reedsy!)

i decided to fit all of them in one post instead of making it a two part post.

i hope you all enjoy this post and feel free to comment or reblog which structure you use the most, or if you have your own you prefer to use! please share with me!

if you find this useful feel free to reblog on instagram and tag me at perpetualstories

Follow my tumblr and instagram for more writing and grammar tips and more!

[piecksz]

three’s a crowd | (m)

pairing: reiner x fem!reader x eren

warnings: nsfw, oral sex (female recieving), cuckolding, male masturbation, penetrative sex, voyeurism, slight degredation, slight angst, light mention of drugs, explicit language

summary: reiner’s attempt at hiding his attraction towards you fails, but lucky for him, eren’s feeling generous.

words: 4.6k

a/n: this was so much longer than i planned for.....well.....shit LMAOOO

a/n x2: I FORGOT TO ADD if you guys wanna listen to the song i looped like 47 fucking times while writing this, bc i feel like it fits reiner in this one shot kinda well, u can listen to recognize by partynextdoor (feat. drake) :p enjoy

Reiner hated Eren.

He hadn’t gone into living with someone he’d never met in person before with innumerable expectations, but he wasn’t banking on his roommate to be his polar opposite. He hated the sound of Eren’s riotous music into the early hours of dawn. He hated the unbearable malodor of his marijuana dependence, and he hated the way he carried himself with an intolerable air of arrogance, but as much as Eren’s living habits irritated him, it was the fact that Eren had you that presided over all of his grievances.

Being a witness to it made Reiner sick, knowing that you were leagues above Eren, and surely you deserved someone respectable, but somehow he’d charmed you into a long-term relationship, and Reiner wondered how he’d managed it. If by some miracle it had been up to him, Reiner speculated that he would be a viable match for you--that was if he had those sentiments for you--and he reassured himself he didn’t hold any promiscuous feelings towards his roommate’s girlfriend.

Yet it was hard for Reiner to rationalize the obscene thoughts that pervaded his mind at 2 AM. His clock displayed the time in bold red numbers, an indication that he should have been fast asleep, but you had decided to spend the night, and he already understood what that entailed.

The walls in their apartment were thin and did an insubstantial job of muting the noise that traveled between rooms. Reiner boasted the privilege of having his room right next to Eren’s, which meant he could hear everything that happened on the other side of the barrier. He heard every whimper, every groan, every time Eren praised you for taking him so well, and every time he admired how irresistible you looked while he fucked you from the back. The sound was so lucid he could count exactly how many rounds you guys had gone, and it was usually two, three if Eren hadn’t seen you in a while which was rare.

You two were hard to ignore, no matter how hard Reiner had tried, meaning he was also up late, listening while you two coupled. Your cries of stimulation, however, he didn’t mind as much. In truth, Reiner was always tempted to slip his hands into his pants and get himself off to the sound of your enticing whimpers, but he would discourage himself, deciding it was against his better judgement. Instead he would opt to cover his ears with his pillow, flipping over onto his side and dedicating his total effort to falling asleep.  

Of course, Reiner had long established that he didn’t like you, but he swore he could make you feel better than Eren could.

It was around midday when Reiner returned to their apartment after committing his morning to helping his long-time friend, Pieck, pack up the furniture at her studio in preparation to move. They were halfway finished with stowing away Pieck’s belongings before she realized they didn’t have enough boxes and apologized, asking Reiner if he’d be willing to return the following day to help her load up her remaining things. He obliged, guiltily happy that he was being dismissed early.

Reiner kicked off his shoes and ambled into the kitchen to set down the food he secured on his way home, but he paused momentarily to scrutinize the condition of the living room, discerning Eren’s obvious trace.

The TV was on, but it sat idly, blinking images of some prime time movie Reiner couldn’t recognize, and Eren’s drug paraphernalia was left scattered on the coffee table, his bong alongside his stray lighter and grinder.

“Eren!” Reiner had prompted him on several occasions, reminding Eren that just because he thought electricity was a necessary utility and should be free, didn’t mean it was, they still had to pay for it. He also requested that he put his bong away after he was done smoking since it wasn’t permitted in their building, but Eren seemed heedless to that demand too. “Eren!”

Reiner anticipated a response, but huffed when he received only silence. Leave it to his roommate to blight his good mood in record time. He mumbled inaudibly, swiping the remote off the table to turn the TV off, and then reluctantly bending down to tidy the space of Eren’s things.

“Hi, Sunshine. You’re up and about early.”

Reiner straightened himself out and turned around, unaware that you’d been over. He missed your approaching footsteps. Had you stayed the night? He didn’t hear anything from Eren’s room the previous evening which was unusual to say the least. Maybe you’d stopped by earlier that morning while he’d been out.

“Hey,” he replied meekly. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were here.”

Reiner’s eyes looked you over swiftly, slightly startled at the lack of clothing covering your bottom half. You were only wearing a loose shirt that stopped dangerously at your hips and a pair of lace undergarments, but naturally, you didn’t seem the least bit phased. You’d practically lived with them. When you weren’t in class or at your part-time job, you were at their apartment, leading Reiner to wonder if you forgot you had a place of your own. 

“It’s fine,” you smiled. “Sorry Eren left all of his shit out. I don’t know how I know the house rules and he doesn’t.”

Reiner snorted. “He knows them, he just doesn’t care.” His voice was casual although he walked hastily into the kitchen to avoid looking at you. He stored Eren’s bong in the vacant cupboard above the microwave before throwing his other tools into a miscellaneous drawer.

As if on cue, Eren wandered out of his room languidly, carelessly shrugging a jacket onto his unclad upper body. Reiner took that as a sign that his lunch would be best enjoyed in his room. He was already irked, and wasn’t in the headspace to deal with the current atmosphere.

“What’d you get?” you questioned, leaning over the counter with mirth. You paid little attention to the way Eren came up behind you, circling his arms around your waist and resting his chin in the curve of your shoulder. You looked more interested in the alluring smells wafting from the paper bag in Reiner’s hand.

Another thing he hated about Eren was his shameless PDA. It appeared he adored showing you off, letting everyone know that you were his, but God--how could anyone forget when it seemed he was incapable of keeping his hands off of you. Reiner himself recognized that you were a prize, from your lively eyes that were a marriage of subtle hues to the way your lips curled upwards when you grinned. He even noticed the curve of your breasts’ shape through your shirt. If Reiner had you, he’d want you all to himself.

He shook the thought out of his head.

“I just got something small on the way home.” He forced a smile. “If I’d known you were over I would have gotten you something too.”

“Why do you treat Y/N better than you treat me?” Eren asked, sounding only a little bit offended.

Reiner pretended to think before he responded. “Ah, maybe it’s because I don’t like you.”

You laughed at Reiner’s reply, and Eren only smiled, but Reiner detected something else behind his expression. Mischief.

“Do you like Y/N?”

Reiner creased his eyebrows together. “Of course.” He hadn’t read too much into the question. He did like you. You weren’t just easy on the eyes, but you were great company too. That was the only reason he didn’t mind lending their apartment to you as a second home, he enjoyed being around you.

You let out an exaggerated aww after he answered. “I like you too, Reiner.”

Reiner chuckled, shaking his head, but inside he was telling his heart to calm down. You didn’t mean it like that.

Eren hummed absentmindedly, swaying side to side slowly while you rocked along to his movement.

“Do you wanna fuck her?”

Reiner gripped the bag in his hand tightly, and his smile faltered in shock, reeling from the bombshell of Eren’s question. “What?” Did he hear him correctly?

You looked just as surprised, exclaiming your boyfriend’s name and craning your neck to look at him.

“I’m kidding,” he dismissed, but Reiner could tell he wasn’t from the way Eren’s eyes didn’t waver from him.

What Reiner didn’t know was that Eren had caught onto him. He’d known for a while, which was why he was particularly touchy with you around Reiner, showing you off, not caring whether you walked around their apartment scarcely dressed, it was because Eren enjoyed having something that someone else wanted. He saw the way his roommate acted around his girlfriend, reserved and quiet, more than he usually was, and he even noticed the way Reiner’s eyes dipped down to your chest in the moment because Eren was exceptional at paying attention to detail.

You must have detected how uncomfortable Reiner felt because you delivered a brief jab to Eren’s ribs with your elbow.

“Eren, that’s not fucking funny,” you chided. “Do I need to put you in time out?”

“It’s fine,” Reiner interrupted quickly. He didn’t want you defending him because you were oblivious. It only made the situation more embarrassing than it already was since, truthfully, the thought had crossed his mind more than once.

Eren reiterated his question, eyes narrowed at Reiner. “So do you?”

You sighed heavily and looked at Reiner apologetically. He could feel his face growing hot, and he prayed it wasn’t obvious he was as flushed as he felt. He just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

Reiner released a humourless chuckle. “Grow up, Eren.” He slipped past the two of you, but he didn’t get far.

“I’m only asking because I’m feeling charitable. You wouldn’t mind, would you baby?”

Reiner could hear Eren pressing a series of ticklish kisses against your skin, causing you to laugh through your answer.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind if Reiner doesn’t mind.”

Reiner brought his teeth down hard on the tip of his tongue. He was surprised that Eren was so secure in his relationship that he would willingly allow another man to have his way with his girlfriend. He wasn’t sure if his suggestion was insane or ingenious, because Eren had taken control of the one thing that threatened any relationship: infidelity, something so unvirtuous wouldn’t stop him from loving you. You and Eren were so committed to each other that a simple fuck meant nothing.

Reiner hesitated, but figured an opportunity like this was rare. He had both Eren’s permission and yours, yet he still didn’t believe his sincerity until you were in Eren’s room, starting to strip out of your clothes.

His chestnut eyes drifted over to Eren, slouched lazily in the chair he casually pulled out from his desk. “You’re gonna watch?”

Eren lifted a thick eyebrow, resting his thumb under his chin with an index finger against his cheek, looking unimpressed by Reiner’s obvious reservations. “You think I’d let you fuck my girlfriend without me here?”

Reiner slid a tense hand over the back of his neck, rubbing away the uncomfortable heat that creeped up his back and diffused to the tips of his ears. He figured that was reasonable considering the circumstances, after all, he was only fucking you because Eren had allowed it.

There was nothing more intoxicating to Reiner than your bare form, scanty pink lace clinging to your hips the only thing preventing you from being completely naked in front of him. His gaze dipped from your simpering smile down to your collarbones and then down to your breasts, perfectly sculpted to your figure.

Reiner made no efforts to move despite his insatiable urge to grab you in his arms and make certain that you were left satisfied. He feared he’d look too eager to Eren who was observing from the sidelines, but you paid little attention to your audience of one as you sauntered towards Reiner, closer and closer, until your arms slid around his neck and you pressed your chest to his torso.

Reiner’s body was strung so tightly, he was afraid he might snap. It seemed you took notice of the way his muscles tensed once your delicate fingers ghosted over the nape of his neck because your suggestive expression waned, and instead, your eyebrows creased with sincere concern.

“You okay?”

He couldn’t respond, but to be fair, it was because his heart was hammering against his chest and he wasn’t sure how to make it stop. He looked over at Eren again, who, fortunately, didn’t seem to pay much attention to him. Instead, your boyfriend’s stare was fixed on your backside, likely admiring how luscious you looked from his perspective.

“I’m over here.” You laughed and pressed a gentle finger to Reiner’s chin, redirecting his focus back to you. “Just relax.”

He swallowed, chuckling to soothe his unease. “I’m trying.”

Reiner wasn’t sure why he felt so unassertive in your presence. He didn’t hold a record like Eren did, but he also wasn't abstinent by any means. This, though, felt different. He was dealing with several months of pent-up sexual frustration that could only be satisfied by you and no one else. He knew because he’d tried.

Reiner drew in a ragged breath as you leaned into him, breathing heavily through his mouth until you closed the space in between you two, then he continued breathing heavily through his nose. At first, he made no efforts to close his eyes, afraid that the imagery in front of him was a mirage inspired by his own imagination and would disappear if he so much as blinked. His lips were timid, body taut under your touch, but you seduced his mouth, reining him in until he melted into the kiss.

He pushed back against you with fervor and desperation, outlining the shape of your bottom lip with his tongue before nipping at the soft flesh. You released a quiet whimper, intensifying the lust swelling in the pit of his stomach, and Reiner forced his tongue past your teeth, claiming your mouth while his wandering hands settled audaciously against your ass.

Your hands slid over his shoulders and crafted biceps until they tugged hastily against the hem of his shirt, and Reiner immediately understood your cue, withdrawing his mouth from yours to give himself just enough time to slip out of it. He dipped down again to deliver another kiss, but he was deterred by the feeling of your palm against his chest.

“What? Is something wrong?” he questioned quickly, eyes darting back and forth between your hand and your face, worried that he’d done something to overstep your boundaries.

Instead of the troubled expression he expected, you looked rather intrigued. Perhaps impressed was the better word. Your curiosity was held by Reiner’s physique, a living work of art. Eager fingers traveled down the built ripples of his abdomen, chuckling once you felt his muscles flex under your touch.

“Jesus Christ,” you breathed. “Nice, Braun.”

A snicker emitted from the corner. This, miraculously, Eren allowed.

Reiner's mouth quirked upward in a subtle smile before he surrounded you with his arm, pulling you in for another kiss. He walked you backwards until you collapsed onto the mattress, and he fell on top of you, strong forearms holding up his weight. It was then that Reiner realized he allowed his lust to win in the war against himself.

He pulled away to recover his breath, winded pants fanning over your face. His surveying eyes searched yours before they lowered to your swollen lips. God, you were even more mesmerizing up close, heavy-lidded and studying him through a curtain of eyelashes. Maybe for once Reiner would admit he was jealous of Eren. He was fucking envious, bitter, and spiteful that you were his. He’d been a goddamn idiot to let things go this far, agreeing to Eren’s offer, because he knew one fuck wouldn’t be enough to fufill his need for you. He’d barely gotten a taste, and he could already promise that nothing would ever compare to this.

He found your throat and pressed a fleeting kiss to your pulse, moving further down until his lips met your collarbone. He nipped at the delicate skin, taking notice of the way your grip in his hair tightened. His eyebrows arched while he peered up at you, delighting in the way your head rolled back and forth against the duvet. He really wanted to suck at your skin, leaving dark bruises that decorated the path from your earlobe down to your breastbone, but he knew Eren would kill him.

Reiner dipped lower until his lips brushed lightly against your beaded nipple. You made a small sound of protest, but held his head closer, letting him know what you really wanted. His heart beat erratically against his ribcage as he curved a large hand around your right breast and suppressed a groan, but you released a breathy whimper.

He could feel the sound wreaking havoc in his brain. His balls were so damn tight, it would take barely any effort for him to cum, but he wanted to prolong your coupling as long as possible. He didn’t know if he’d ever get another chance like this.  

His thumb ran over the erect peaks of your breasts, captivated by the magic of watching your back arch and your body become aroused under his touch. He dipped a finger into his mouth, glazing it with his saliva before using it to flick back and forth at your nipple.

“Fuck, Reiner,” you mewled.

Reiner replaced his hand with his lips, sucking the sensitive bud into his mouth. The tip of his tongue swirled around it, coating it generously with his spit, while you made no attempts to conceal your intense cries of pleasure.  

Eren released an entertained sigh, swiveling back and forth in his chair. “She whines like a bitch, doesn’t she?”

Shit. Reiner had almost forgotten he was there, but he still released a hungry grunt in agreement, sending vibrations over your chest. He tugged at your nipple with his teeth, releasing it, and then soothing the sting with the flat side of his tongue.

He trailed down your abdomen, pressing hard wet kisses and stopping to leave a quick lick to your navel. He grinned against your skin when you gripped the sheets and breathed his name again, this time quieter, as if you meant it only for his ears. He liked to think so.

Once he reached the waistband of your panties, he licked along the fabric, immobilizing your rolling hips with strong hands.

“Enough with the theatrics, Reiner. Just do it already,” Eren groaned, sounding irate.

Reiner assumed Eren’s groan was only to stress his impatience, but once he looked over to him, he realized he wasn’t just giving directives from the sidelines. His bottom lip was tucked between his teeth, and his hand was moving steadily against the noticeable tent in his sweatpants.

He was enjoying this just as much as Reiner was, getting off to the sight of his girlfriend under another man, his roommate nonetheless.

Reiner suddenly felt strange. What the hell was he doing providing entertainment for Eren?

“Reiner,” your needy voice pulled him out of his reflection. His attention drifted back to you, watching while you propped yourself up on your elbows and slid your unsteady hands over your chest to tweak your own nipples, as if you were trying to hold yourself over.

He wished you hadn’t looked so tempting, even with your disheveled hair and sweaty skin, your vulnerable eyes fixated on him, and he was powerless.

Reiner hooked his fingers around your underwear, kissing a trail down the inside of your thighs as he pulled your panties down to your ankles before slipping them off and letting them pool on the floor.

“Spread wide baby, let him see that pretty pussy,” Eren stirred, cock now thrust out the top of his grey sweats and his swollen tip glistening with precum. His hand was wrapped firmly around his stiff length, moving slow while his breathing quickened.

For once, Reiner agreed with him, and he pressed his fingers into your thighs to aid you in parting your legs. Your pussy was slick with your own arousal, squelching as you tightened around nothing. You were even prettier than he’d imagined.

“Fuck,” Reiner breathed, extending two fingers to part your folds. Was he still sure he wasn’t dreaming?

He wrapped his built arms around your legs, pulled you closer, and lowered his head. He fixed his lips to your swollen clit, allowing his tongue to lap and circle around the tender bud every few seconds.

“Oh my god,” you cried, writhing against the sheets.

If he hadn’t secured your legs in his grip, he was certain you would have smothered him between your thighs out of reflex. He could detect the way you fought against his hold, but he far overpowered you in strength.

When he plunged his tongue inside you without notice, that was nearly enough to send you over the edge. You pulled on the sheets with a frenzied grip, producing a shrill cry your neighbors had certainly heard. There was no doubt about it.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you murmured, chest expanding and falling with labored breaths.

Reiner wanted to spend a few more generous minutes tasting you, he couldn’t get enough, but he also wasn’t sure how much longer he would last. His cock was hot and hard in his pants, and he needed to feel you around him. Even if Eren wouldn’t let him cum inside of you, he needed to experience at least that much.

He rose to his feet, working quickly against his pants’ zipper while trying not to tease himself by looking at you. He was worried the mere sight of you on the bed, spread and ready for him would be enough to bring him to a climax, but he’d made the mistake of looking at you anyways, hand between your legs, delicate fingers rubbing at your clit while you stared up at him.

Fucking hell. Kill me. Reiner thought. Fuck. He felt the throbbing heat of his cock, and he wished you wouldn’t look at him like that. He really wished you wouldn’t look at him like that.

“Look at her, so desperate to be filled. It’s almost pathetic,” Eren laughed, but it was clear he was feeling your effect too. He lolled his head forward, long brown hair spilling over his shoulders and obscuring his face while his palm worked fast against his cock.

Shut up, Reiner thought. His head was growing hazy, and he couldn’t think. He needed to be inside you, and he couldn’t wait a second longer.

Reiner let himself free while his pants and underwear hung low around his knees. He couldn’t even find time to delight in the way your face melted into bliss once you laid eyes on his thick cock, leaking precum in sinful amounts because all he could think about was his ache. He leaned over you, positioning himself at your entrance.

He’d been waiting for this for so goddamn long.

Reiner exhaled when you said his name again, hips undulating against his cock and wet folds stroking his tip. He watched as he pushed himself into you, filling you to the hilt, and once he was inside he hung his head forward, eyes shut tightly in a painful sort of ecstasy.

“You’re so fucking tight,” Reiner grunted breathlessly.

He groaned, pinning your hips down with his once you attempted to fuck yourself onto his cock.

“Stop moving,” he pleaded. “Jesus christ--please don’t move.” He stayed still for a moment, waiting until his sensitivity subsided before he started rocking his hips against you slowly.

Reiner couldn’t dedicate his focus to anything other than the feeling of your slick walls clenching around his cock every time he pulled out, and the way he stretched you out every time he thrusted back in. He wondered if you could feel the depth of his desire.

“Harder,” you whispered once, and then begged louder. “Reiner please, fuck me harder.”

At first, Reiner was worried. He wanted to be gentle, he wanted to savor you, and he wanted to make sure he didn’t hurt you, but your request had him picking up the pace, ramming into you until the familiar slapping sound of sweaty skin filled the room.  

You unraveled and became completely undone, letting out loud moans every time he drove his cock into you. Reiner thought the sound was incredibly euphonic as it fell upon his ears. You were like this because of him.

“How’s this?” His voice was husky and deep beside your ear.

Reiner was pleased by your lack of response. You could only nod, overwhelmed by the dual sensation brought on by him and the feeling of your quick fingers against your clit. You secured an arm around his neck again and wrapped your legs around his torso, clinging to him like he was all you needed. He wished that was how you really felt.

“Close…,” you murmured, and Reiner deduced you were warning him that you were near your orgasm. He could tell by the way your walls began to spasm.

Reiner felt the small of his back tighten, and he knew he was close too. He was torn between his release and holding himself back, not ready for this to end just yet, but his body betrayed him and he felt his cock twitch inside you.

Luckily, you reached your climax first, and Reiner watched in awe as your body seized underneath him, breasts bobbing with every jolt while you worked your clit into overstimulation. It wasn’t long after your orgasm that he made his last rueful thrusts. He quickly pulled out and clasped himself in the curve of his hand. He pumped his length until he released in quick spurts onto your stomach, covering you in his hot seed, and he kept pumping until he made sure he emptied himself of every drop.

His eyes quickly darted over to Eren, not to be odd or anything, but again, he had forgotten he was there. It seemed Eren had already satisfied himself. The creamy, white liquid decorating the bare skin of his abdomen and dribbling down his loose fist was evidence of that. Now that he had appeased his urges, he seemed disinterested as he reached over his desk and plucked a few tissues to clean himself up.

Reiner collapsed beside you, listening to the loud thudding of his heart as it delivered a few ecstatic beats while he caught his breath and began to calm down. He stared at the pivoting fan blades, and then his eyes dropped down to you lying next to him, sweaty and fucked out.

You were laying there with him, and goddammit he wanted to reach his arms out and wrap them around you, pulling you close so he could hold you and feel your heartbeat against his chest. He’d press kisses to your salty forehead, and then tell you how much he loved you. He wanted to stay like this.

Reiner's ideal vision dissolved once Eren stopped at the edge of the bed and extended his hand for you to grab.

“You wanna join me for a shower, baby?” Eren asked.

Of course, you took it, allowing him to support you until you were sitting up.

You released an exhausted laugh. “Yes, please.” You then turned to Reiner and arched your eyebrow in surprise. “By the way, not bad, Braun.”

Reiner gave you a small smile in return, but said nothing as he watched you cover your breasts with your arm and let Eren hoist you off the bed. You two slid past him and headed out of the room, but not without Eren looking back over his shoulder, shooting Reiner a shit-eating grin, as though reminding him who you’d always belong to.

[finelinevogue]

Can you do something where Y/N is sick and Harry has to take care of her please?

i actually had written something similar to this before so i present you a lengthy blurb;

You were pretty sure if you got invited in to hell it would feel something like this.

Hot. Sticky. But chilled.

You had come down with a concerningly high temperature. Along with the added luxuries of a deafening headache, cold sweats and an upset tummy. Your body was burning all over, as if it had just been freshly cooked in the oven but you felt colder than ice. It was a confusing juxtaposition, but there it was.

You'd called Harry, since he was in the studio recording his new music and asked him to come home early. You didn't even get to the reasoning of why he should come home before he hung up, telling you he was already vacating the premises. You hated to be that needy girlfriend who had to call about nearly everything, but Harry loved it more than anything. He loved the fact that you needed him. It gave him purpose, apparently .

You couldn't work out whether you regretted asking him to come home, or whether it was a blessing. It was a very fine line.

It was a blessing because, he looked after you like a mother would her child and made sure he stood by your side any time you found yourself lurched over a toilet. He made you chicken soup from scratch and even tested it to make sure it wasn't too hot, or salty - despite being a vegetarian himself. He even made you honey and lemon tea, which he had to run to the store for the honey. When you say run, you mean run. He didn't want to leave you alone at all, so he put on his running shoes and sprinted to the shop and back. However, it was a slight regret because of how fussy he was over you. He loved it to bits - nursing to your every need.

You truly believed you didn't deserve Harry. He was just too kind and pure for his own good. You were unarguably lucky. Laying on what felt like your death bed, didn't feel so lucky though.

It was now 10 pm and you could hear Harry turning on the alarm for downstairs, the loud beeping noise preventing you from sleep. That's all you'd done all day. Sleep. You thought it'd be more magical than it was. It was just uncomfortable though, because of how cold and hot you were.

Your much better looking other half trudged through the bedroom door within a minute of the alarm going off. He was only wearing checkered pyjama bottoms and a white t-shirt and yet he made it look like Gucci Runway 2021.

The jingling of keys signalled Charlie was also present. Charlie was your 2 year old Golden Retriever. He was beautiful. When you and Harry has moved in together 2 years ago you'd managed to persuade him to get a dog. Within a few weeks of moving in you had a 5 month old puppy running around your house. He was your best friend, no doubt about it. He was also ridiculously photogenic.

"Hey Chaz!" You cooed as Charlie walked over to your side of the bed, where you were snuggling down under the sheets. You reached out your hand to give him some loving and attention. You could tell by the small smile and sparkling eyes that he was one happy boy.

"Alright, buddy. Let's leave mum alone." Harry came behind Charlie to manoeuvre him into his bed, which was in the corner of the room. It was more like a big cushion. He started to whine after being forced to leave you - having not seeing you all day. Harry was strict in keeping him downstairs so not to disturb you whilst you were sleeping.

"H it's alright, let him on the bed. He can curl up on my feet." You sympathised with Charlie, as you always did, hating to hear or see him upset. Harry was like the 'bad-cop' when it came to parenting Charlie, because you were too sweet to say no to him.

"You're one spoilt boy, aren’t you?" Harry messed around with Charlie, before telling him he could get up on the bed to see you. Charlie leapt on the bed and wandered over to give you all the kisses he could, before Harry came to calm him down - as you really didn't have the strength.

"I missed you too, Chaz." You quietly laughed, not wanting to set your headache off even more.

"You gonna let me kiss mum now?" Harry rhetorically asked, but as he came over to you Charlie laid down on you so your face was buried underneath his body. You could feel him panting with his adorable tongue out above you, as he hid you from Harry.

"Someone's jealous."

"Feeling like a bloody third wheel over here." Harry tutted and you laughed until you got hot with the movement.

"Harry? Can you move him please?" You whined as you tried to shuffle around.

"Okay Chaz. Let's let mum get some sleep, alright?" Charlie is slowly removed from you and ends up curled on top of your feet, keeping them warm for you.

Harry slipped into the covers and shuffled his way over to you, putting the back of his hand over your forehead and hissing quietly at the simple touch.

"Baby you're so hot." Harry complained.

"I know." You teased with a wink at him, taking his worry out of context and turning it into a flirting compliment.

"Oh piss off!" He chuckled and wrapped an arm around your waist to bring you closer. "What am I going to do with you, baby?" Harry then planted only a few delicate kisses to your lips - not wanting to overwork you and your tired body.

••••

You woke up with drowsy eyes to find you're in bed alone.

Your throat was incredibly dry and your whole body was sticky from sweat. Your pyjamas were damp and your face looked like it'd just been drowned in a rainstorm. It was disgusting. Still, you brought the duvet up to cover yourself more, as you let out a dramatic shiver. Why was it so cold?

Mixed into the background noise you could hear the cheering of crowds and it really confused you, until you looked at the wall and noticed the football was playing on re-run on the TV. Manchester United Vs Manchester City. You hated that you knew that just from their football uniforms, but that's what you get for living with a football-crazed boyfriend.

You noticed Harry emerge from the bathroom, a washing up bowl in his arms. He came and sat down in bed, the bucket of water to his side. "What are you doing?" You quietly asked, peering up at him through tired eyes.

"Oi, you're meant to be sleep y’minx." Harry told you off.

"I can't. I'm too uncomfortable. I'm hot, but i'm cold. I also find it hard to sleep without you next to me." You huffed out in annoyance.

"My poorly baby." He leant down to kiss your forehead, "c’mere, baby." He urged.

He helped you move, seeing as your body was really weak, so you could lay down against Harry’s body. He was sat up against the headboard as you nestled down between his legs, your back to his front. It was a lot more comfortable than before - probably because Harry was closer to you. Charlie noticed the disturbance and waited for you to stop moving around, before maintaining the job of guarding your feet.

Once he was happy in his position he fell asleep again, making you jealous of his ability to do that. Especially now.

"Why's the football on?" You asked, motioning towards the TV.

"Had to keep myself awake somehow." He explained, but it only made you more confused.

"Why?"

"So I can take care of you, y’muppet." His words actually melted your heart - more than chocolate could melt on your forehead right now.

After you'd settled, Harry reached into the bucket and drained out a cloth. He made sure all the excess water was cleared before moving it away from the bucket. You hummed in appreciation when he placed it against your forehead, rotating it to the back of your neck also in order to relax and cool you. It made you realise just how hot you were.

"I think i'm dying, Harry." You groaned as the nausea came over you again. Harry kept a firm hold of the cloth on your forehead, dabbing gently and careful to not let any water drip down into your eyes.

"No you're not, baby." Harry gave you a light-hearted laugh.

"Well, living shouldn't feel as shitty as this H." You grumbled, not appreciating his lack of understanding.

“Then just let me take you to the chuffing hospital!" He exclaimed, making Charlie stir slightly.

Harry had been demanding you go to the hospital all day and all evening, but you were too stubborn to go. That, and you were terrified of hospitals - more terrified of needles and blood than anything else. However, you were starting to reach the point where you were giving in to his request, though. It was becoming unbearable to sleep and harder to breathe. You were worried for yourself.

"I don't like it." You pouted like a child, as Harry wrung the cloth through the fresh water again.

"I don't care whether you like it or not, Y/N, I really think we should go. More like need." Harry insisted and you could tell he wasn’t giving up without a fight. You didn’t want that either.

You hated how he was right.

It was only going to get worse from here, and you didn't really want to be alive when that was going you happen, so going to the hospital to get checked over and drugged up seemed like the best option to go for. The more sensible option.

"Fine." You finally accepted, Harry slinking his arms tight around your waist after discarding the cloth in to the bucket. He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck and planted an abundance of kisses there, your skin burning just to the touch.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." He repeated in-between kisses.

•••••

It took 20 minutes to get in to the car. 20 minutes.

All because Charlie was reluctant to letting you get up and go. So Harry had to dress you into a more appropriate attire, with a dog sat on your lower body. It was then half an hour later that you were in the hospital.

The hospital was quiet at this time of night and for that you were grateful. It was obviously a night where little numbers of people were doing silly things to get themselves hurt. There was the odd patient for a minor cut injury and there were a couple of people in for burns. There was even a woman in because she accidentally superglued her hand to a bottle of superglue - ironic, but painful.

You sat patiently on Harrys lap, waiting for someone to escort you to a cubicle. You were freezing cold, to the point where your teeth were chattering - your outside body was giving off the opposite temperature. You tried to get as close to Harry's warmth as possible, pushing your body against his.

"You're alright baby." Harry shushed you, as you let out a small tremble.

"If I do die—"

"Which you won't." Harry chuckled.

"I know, but if I did I want you to know that I love you." You told him. Even though he's heard you say it a million times before, it still made his heart flutter as you spoke each word.

"I love you, baby." He kissed the side of your head. "But you're going to be just fine, so no more talking about you dying okay?"

"Why? It's only a natural thing." You pointed out.

"Sure, but I don't want to think of a world without my girl living in it. So zip it before I make you."

You never thought of dying as a world without Harry before now and it wasn't the time to start thinking about it either. It was a horrible thought and you understood why Harry didn't want you speak about it. That world would be so dark and empty and you hated thinking about it.

Harry was called to the front desk to fill in some forms for you, since your hands were too cold and shaky to do it for yourself. He accidentally wrote 'Styles' as your second name, before realising his mistake and scribbling it out.

“Shit.” Harry went red in the face and chuckled over his silly mistake. His hand was shaky and you smiled at how he got so flustered over something so simple. You rested your hand on top of his, bringing his attention to you.

“One day.” You told him and he leaned to give you a kiss on the lips. You couldn’t help but feel like his lips were a future promise to make sure he wouldn’t have to scribble out his second name the next time it was written next to yours.

The doctor saw you shortly afterwards and you thanked your lucky stars that there was no injections or removal of any blood involved, Harry sticking with you the whole time. Turns out you were suffering from a moderate fever, but the doctor said with good rest it should pass. The doctor had given Harry permission to make a big fuss over you - explaining how he was going to love it and you were going to hate it - and to make sure to come back with even the slightest worsen of the fever. You got given a prescription list of various medications that you'd need to take over the next week or so. After collecting the drugs, you were back in the car on the way home.

"Told you you weren't going to die." Harry smiled, happy to have you still by his side, whilst holding your hand over the gear console.

"Unfortunate for you, I guess."

"Will you shut you, y’bloody nuisance. You know I can't do life without you, Y/N." He spoke softly, squeezing your hand tighter to assure you that he's going nowhere.

"Same here." You smile at him and he smirks back at you with his dimple-loving smile.

"You’ll always be it for me, baby." Harry speaks, before you drift back off to sleep.

Happily.

[skzfelixity]

Love Me Or Leave Me | Chishiya Shuntaro [Alice In Borderland]

Chishiya x Reader

Summary: It’s time for you to question Chishiya’s sincerity. Does he really love you?

Warnings: none

Inspired by: Day6 - Love me or Leave me

Chishiya Shuntaro. This man drove you crazy. Of course you knew, you heard, that he was selfish and manipulative. You knew it, you just chose to ignore it. You knew by the way he showed you affection and you had his undivided attention when he needed something from you and then disappear until he needed to use you again. However, you had a slight hope of his feelings being real and sincere.

I’ve endured it for quite some time,

your cold eyes and words.

He hadn’t approached you for some days now. Meeting randomly in the halls just greeting each other, nothing more. You wanted more, you craved more. You were thinking about him every second of the day and, you were sure, he didn’t think of you at all. You weren’t able to leave him just yet. You didn’t want to, you still hoped.

“If actions speak louder than words...” you laid on your back, looking at the ceiling of your room, which once was filled with yours and Chishiya’s giggles. It was as if you could still hear him, feel him lying next to you, “then it seems like the end is near.”

“The end of the games?” You jumped at the so familiar voice, the short blond man leaning on the wall. You missed it, you missed him.

“I didn’t even hear you come in,” you sighed, falling back into the matress. You felt the matress sink, Chishiya now lying next to you. You turned your head to meet his bored eyes, you really couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling. You wanted to read him just like he was able to read you.

“Thinking about me again?” he smirked, making you go pale. He knew you so well, it was pathetic. You averted your gaze to the ceiling, once again sighing, “You wish.”

He chuckled at your lie, looking at the side of your face. He had you wrapped around his finger but he didn’t know for how long. Your feelings didn’t bother him though, he was sure you wouldn’t leave him. He was too sure.

Whether it will end or not,

it’s all up to you.

I have no choice but to watch.

“I came up with a plan,” he sat up, looking back at you, “to leave the beach.”

You immediately jerked up, eyes wide. He wasn’t going to leave you, was he?

“Alone?” You asked rather hesitatingly, looking down at you hands. He carefully lifted your chin up, making eye contact. “Together.”

You felt your heart jump at his answer but you didn’t seem too happy about it,. Wasn’t that enough to assure you that he loved you? No. Maybe he was trying to manipulate you and sacrifice you when something went wrong.

I have to know it to move forward,

Do you even love me now?

“You will steal the cards from Hatter’s room, Kuina and I will be looking out for people.” he simply explained. You failed to notice how fishy the plan sounded because you wanted to ask him one question. A question that would vanish any doubts you had for him. You slowly nodded, fidgeting with your fingers. It’s the right time to ask. He smirked and with a pat on your head, he turned to leave.

You bit your bottom lip, it’s now or never. “Chishiya..” you grabbed his hand to stop him, his dull eyes meeting yours. His expressionless face always discouraged you but you wouldn’t let it get to you this time. He tilted his head, waiting for you to speak.

“Do you...” you exhaled deeply, letting your arm fall to your side. He knew. He knew what you wanted to ask, he isn’t stupid. He actually expected it a lot earlier but he was thankful you put your trust in him so easily,

and also regretful

“Do you love me?” you gazed into his eyes, looking for any signs of emotion. The answer wouldn’t really stop you from doubting him, it would trick you to not doubt him. Did you believe a positive answer would make you feel loved? Wanted? Appreaciated? You didn’t even know. You just wanted to hear it.

I’ll hold my breath as I wait for your answer,

I’ll leave it up to you.

He frowned for a few seconds. Was he going to lie to you? Was his lie going to be a lie or his lie wasn’t really a lie? He was prepared for that question, then why couldn’t he answer? He noticed you holding your breath, probably too nervous to even exist.

“Of course,” he gave you a smile, an awkward one. Maybe it was because of the lack of air that didn’t go through your lungs but you thought it was sincere. The doubts that had been drowning you for the past few days, washed away. You wrapped your arms around his neck, “Glad to finally know.”

He was shocked, mostly at the gesture but you seemed to like him- maybe even love him a lot. Did you really love him more than he knew? His heart started beating faster as he wrapped his arms around you, he blamed it on the affection since he wasn’t used to it. What else could have made his heart so giddy? 

Was it a lie or a deep hidden secret?

[...]

“Chishiya, I’m in!” you whispered in your walkie talkie, observing Hatter’s room. It sure was too big to have plenty of time to search for the cards. “Look inside the closet,” Chishiya said, while listening to Hatter speak to the crowd. He fed them enough nonsense to be able to manipulate them so he could leave first, reminded him of himself.

“What’s the code?” you asked. Chishiya instantly replied, “8022″

Despite having the code, you didn’t try to open it. You froze, this was more dangerous than you thought. If they catch you, you are literally dead. “Chishiya, I don’t think I can do it.”

No answer.

“Chishiya.”

No answer

“Chishiya Shuntaro!”

Again, no answer. Reality hit you, he had used you, again. What did you expect from the selfish jerk? Love? Affection? Sincerity? You were so wrong for trusting him, even more for falling for him.

You were still dumbfounded, knees on the floor. This isn’t a place to find or fall in love, you should have controlled yourself.

“Are you sure, Chishiya?” Hatter’s voice broke you out of your thoughts. You quickly rushed to hide under the king sized bed. The door opened, revealing Hatter, Chishiya and some militants trailing behind him.

“There’s no one here!” Hatter threw his arms up in the air, spinning around. Chishiya was relieved to not see you there, quick to notice Hatter looking at a painting of a deer across the room. He didn’t have time to question himself but he knew why he felt relieved. You grew on him even though his intention was using you, from the very start. You managed to make your way into his heart and it kind of scared him.

He wouldn’t change anything on the plan though, maybe forcing Kuina to steal the cards. Feelings aside, he would do anything to survive. Anyone would do anything to survive in this hell.

Meanwhile, you were shaking so bad. Covering your mouth with your hands to make sure you made no noises. You had never been more scared in your whole life, not even during a game. The feeling of betrayal long forgotten as they didn’t seem to leave the room.

“I thought I saw someone.” Chishiya shrugged, you couldn’t have escaped from the door and no windows were broken. Which meant one thing, you were still in the room. His body stiffened at the thought of you hiding here, possibilities of getting caught were high enough.

“You should look out for me!” Hatter gave him a light pat on the shoulder, “Thank you!”

They all walked out, Chishiya last, throwing another glance to the deer painting before following the others.

You thought it was safe to wait for a while before going out, finally letting the feeling of betrayal overwhelm you. You quietly sobbed, mad at yourself for being so oblivious. Hoping to get out of the beach with Chishiya, how foolish, considering his personality. It was all wrong from the start but you did not fail to notice it, you just didn’t want to.

[...]

You found yourself in the rooftop, red eyes and the light breeze hitting your face. It made you feel calm, relaxed, almost as if the last few hours didn’t happen. You would like to forget them but they had already made their scars on your heart. You found yourself thinking about Chishiya, again. How could a person be so evil, you really didn’t want to see him again. Good thing he left with Kuina.

Or so you thought.

“Knew I would find you here,” a panting Chishiya stood in the top of the stairs, resting on his knees. He raised his hand in the air, showing the incomplete set of cards to you.”I got them, we have to hurry!”

You looked at him, only then he noticed your eyes, you had been crying. Who wouldn’t cry after being betrayed? He sighed, standing up straight. He knew he had messed up, he had messed you up.

You couldn’t bring yourself to hate him, not until he answers your question truthfully. You looked in front of you, knees on your chest and hands keeping them close. You didn’t feel like crying, you didn’t feel like replying. You just needed a break from everyone and everything.

I know your answer is no.

I pretend I do not know,

even though I know.

“Y/N, we-”

“We? We?! There is no we, Chishiya!” You looked him dead in the eye, lips pressed into a thin line. An expression he rarely saw on your face, he did break you. He couldn’t turn back time, he wouldn’t turn back time. All he had to do was fix your broken bond. “It’s just you, so go!”

“You don’t want me to leave you!”

Unfortunately, he was right. Your heart was longing for him, you just wanted to hate him with your whole body and soul, yet you couldn’t. You thought he knew that too. He didn’t have his usual smirk on, what a sight for your sore eyes.

He placed the cards inside his pocket, sighing, he knew if he ever got your trust again it would be a miracle. He was surprised when you didn’t stand up to follow him, it felt so strange to him because you always did what he told you to do. He was so used to you obeying him.

In reality, he didn’t want to leave you. If it was Kuina or someone else who refused to follow him, he would have been gone a long ago. He wouldn’t even come to find them in the first place! He couldn’t blame you for not wanting to see him, he’s the one to blame after all.

I cannot give you up just yet,

not until I hear you say it.

“Say you don’t love me so I can let you go.” You whispered loudly enough for the blond to hear. He didn’t expect you to say something like that, eyes widening. In fact, he didn’t know that you couldn’t hate him. He didn’t know why you wanted him to say that. Of course you didn’t know his feelings. All he had to do was voice them, voice how he felt for you in order to make you understand that his current actions and feelings were sincere.

 “I don’t want you to let me go!”

You were completely clueless of how much of a mess his mind was now. He wanted to let you know what you really meant to him and explain why everything that happened today happened.

Turns out the answer he gave you back then wasn’t a lie, just the unknown truth. He couldn’t say that he didn’t love you. Regardless of not understanding the whole concept of love entirely, he knew he loved you. 

You observed his features, he was wearing a worried and anxious expression. Much to your surprise, it seemed pretty real but you won’t be fooled again. He might need you for another plan in the future. But then again, it seemed pretty real to ignore.

So please answer,

with all honesty.

So please answer me,

without hiding anything.

“I was late to realise my feelings, let alone how they work,” he sighed, “I want to figure out feelings, understand them and feel them,” he came closer to you, leaning down, your faces a few inches apart, “with you.”

He didn’t like the scenario of you getting caught earlier, he wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt. It took him long enough to appreciate your help, your trust, your love for him and your dedication to him, resulting in losing all of these.

“You can’t persuade me like this,” you chuckled, better sorry than fooled again. “Do you even love me now?” You looked away from him, not expecting an answer.

He knew it wouldn’t make a big difference if he answered but he chose to anyway. “I love you,” he grabbed your chin to make you look at him, “I will prove it to you so come with me.”

You pushed his hand away, you were having none of his manipulative tricks. Before you could tell him off, Kuina’s voice echoed through the walkie talkie, “We don’t have time, hurry!”

Chishiya rolled his eyes, pulling his tazer out of his pocket ready to use it on you. “You either come willingly or I’ll taze you and carry you myself.”

“You can taze me, it’ll hurt less than what you did to my heart.”

Can’t give up on you.

[xutokawa]

I really love your s/o finding scratch marks, so I was wondering if you can do one for Bokuto & Hinata- if not Hinata you can do Akaashi uwu please crush my soul ~🥝

pairings: akaashi x reader, hinata x reader

genre(s): fluff to angst, cheating

warnings: langauge, cheating

wc: 2.4k

» masterlist

a/n: anon!! tysm for this request hehe. sorry it took so long to write :( but I hope you enjoy!! since i already wrote one for bokuto, it’s just hinata and akaashi in this one! also tysm guys for 400 followers!?!!??! i def don’t deserve it since i barely post oops but i still can’t be grateful enough for your support!

atsumu and oikawa ver.

osamu and iwazumi ver.

kuroo and sakusa ver.

suna and bokuto ver.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Akaashi

Excitement bubbled in your stomach as you checked your appearance in the mirror. 

“How do I look?” you teasingly asked your boyfriend. Looking up from his phone, his face immediately formed into a smile.

“Ethereal,” Akaashi replied, taking in your appearance. You giggle as you walked over to where he was sitting on your shared bed, wrapping your arms around his waist, snuggling into his chest. His scent filled your nostrils as you felt his hand reach up to smooth your hair. Warmth spread through your body. 

“You ready to go then?” Akaashi asked you.

“Ready when you are,” you replied, tilting your head to meet his gaze. His eyes filled with adoration.

“Let’s go then.”

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The two of you were seated in a nice cafe, hunger satiated as the two of you talked. Your conversations were filled with smiles and laughter. Yet Akaashi’s smiles never seemed to truly reach his eyes. How could they when nothing but guilt filled his mind, when evidence of a drunken escapade was marked on his body?

Akaashi had noticed your intense gaze on his neck, shifting uncomfortably. Panic and dread rose to his throat at the thought of there being a hickey on his neck from the night before. Despite checking in the mirror countless times, he still couldn’t help but feel panicked at the thought of missing one.

“Is everything okay, y/n?” Akaashi tentatively asked, rubbing his hand over his neck. Snapped out of your trance, you meet his eyes before laughing it off.

“Yeah, just zoning out,” you tried to laugh off. You couldn’t shake it from your head. That couldn’t have been a hickey. Even if it was, Akaashi wouldn’t be so careless to not cover it, right? Unless he wanted you to see it. Tears pricked at your eyes. You quickly excused yourself to the bathroom, not wanting Akaashi to see your tears. 

As soon as you left his sight, Akaashi hurriedly checked his camera on his phone to see what you were staring at. Sure enough, a purple splotch was peeking out from underneath his shirt. Akaashi cursed as he wracked his mind with what to do. All he could come up with was pulling his shirt collar to one side.

His heart hammered in his chest. Would you break up with him when you came out of the bathroom? He felt his heart crumble at the thought of you leaving him. Akaashi was hoping he would eventually forget about his mistake and move on with his life with you. He just wanted to move onto the moment he got down on one knee, the moment the two of you would buy a house for the first time, the moment you held your children in your arms. He just needed to get past this moment.

He knew as soon as he saw you walk out of the bathroom. Your red eyes and blotchy cheeks gave it away. You saw, and now you knew how shitty of a person he was.

Silence enveloped the two of you as you sat back down.

“So you saw,” Akaashi confirmed. All you could do was nod in response.

“Wh-what do you want to do now?” Akaashi choked out. He truly didn’t want to lose you. It was like living in a nightmare, but the most he could do now was respect your wishes.

“I-” you started off, taking a breath before continuing, “I want to go back to the apartment.”

Akaashi silently nodded in understanding before gathering his things and leaving to pay. You buried your face in your hands, not fully grasping the situation at hand. Why was he acting so guilty? This was Akaashi, your boyfriend since your third year at high school. Never once did you doubt the love you held for each other during your relationship. 

“C’mon, y/n, let’s go,” Akaashi said, tentatively reaching his hand out to you. You debated whether or not you should take it, still unsure of everything going on. Finally, you gave him, letting his long fingers intertwined with yours. You almost wanted to laugh at how easily your unease washed away at his touch, how you immediately felt comforted, when the man who made you feel this way had traces of another on his skin. 

The two of you drove in silence, neither one of you sure of what to say in this situation. Confusion swarmed Akaashi’s mind. You obviously saw the hickey on his neck, yet you weren’t lashing out, demanding to break up with him. Yet he could see you were visibly troubled, your history and past with him getting in the way of your rationality. Guilt and shame pooled in Akaashi’s stomach. He shouldn’t be using his familiarity with you as a way to keep you with him. He was unfaithful, and deserved all the consequences. He knew that, no matter how heart wrenching it was to have you leave him.

Silence continued to envelop the two of you as you walked up to your shared apartment. As soon as you entered the threshold of your home, Akaashi attempted to start some sort of conversation.

“Y/n, I think we need-” Akaashi attempted to start.

“Baby, I’m really tired, can this wait till after I take a nap,” you cut him off. Maybe if you continued to pretend you saw nothing, that this was just another day, everything would be okay. You and Akaashi would be okay.

“You can’t just ignore what just happened, y/n!” Akaashi reasoned. Your detachment from the situation honestly scared him a bit. He would’ve expected you to demand him to move out, maybe even a smack across the face, but your reaction was unexpected and unsettling.

“Nothing’s wrong, Akaashi,” you said, tears beginning to pool, “I still love you, and you love me, right?” 

“Y/n-” Akaashi started, “of course I love you, which is why I can’t stand to see you like this! I fucking cheated on you! I don’t deserve your love! You shouldn’t be forgiving me! I don’t deserve you anymore!”

Tears began streaming down your face at his words.

“No, no no no, Akaashi, no! We’re supposed to be together! You wouldn’t hurt me like that, Akaashi, you love me too much to do that to me!” You tried to reason. Deep down, you knew. Even if the two of you somehow got past this moment, new insecurities from this moment would arise. Your relationship would never be the same.

“Y/n! Get it through your fucking head! I cheated on you! I’m a fucking scumbag who forgot how fucking amazing you are! I’m the asshole here! You can’t just forgive me like this! How are you going to forgive me when I’m never going to forgive myself?!” Akaashi’s voice broke at the end.

“Akaashi, stop it! There’s no proof!” You yelled back, not wanting reality to hit. Your eyes widened when Akaashi moved to pull his shirt over his head.

“Is this proof enough?” Akaashi started, “What will it take for you to realize? Did you want me to call them up? Have them tell you? Y/n, please, don’t put yourself through this! Fucking wake up and realize!”

You collapsed to the ground, sobbing as you took in his appearance. Hickeys littered his neck and chest, red scratches on his shoulders. It finally hit you. Akaashi cheated on you. He left you for another. 

“Why? Why did you have to ruin this, Akaashi!” you yelled, “was this not enough?”

“I don’t know, y/n,” Akaashi began breaking down, “I regret all of it. I would give anything to turn the clock back, but I can’t! This is reality, and we both have to face it whether we like it or not!”

Pain flared in Akaashi’s chest as your eyes met his. He watched as the love you held for him slowly dissolved from your eyes. His heart fell into pieces as you walked into your shared bedroom, only to emerge moments later with a small duffle bag. He recognized it. It was the duffle bag you used when the two of you took trips. You were leaving.

Tears freely flowed down Akaashi’s face as you wordlessly brushed past him, nothing sounding in the room except your hiccups. 

“Y/n,” Akaashi started, “where are you going?”

“Away,” you replied, giving no other explanation. The coldness and sadness in your voice sent knives into Akaashi’s heart, but it’s what he deserved. He couldn’t beg for your love again, or have the right to yearn for your warm embrace. He’s the one who ruined everything, so Akaashi could do nothing but helplessly watch you walk away from him, leaving him alone in a cold apartment.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Hinata

“Y/n~” Your boyfriend whined, plopping his head into your lap. Your hand instinctively went to comb through his orange hair.

“What’s up?” You replied, not looking up from your phone screen. Your eyes finally met his, however, when he pushed away your hands, forcing you to look at him. One look at his pleading eyes was all it took for your heart to melt.

“Can we please go out today? The weather looks so nice,” Hinata pleaded, “Don’t you want to go to the beach?”

“But I just want to watch Netflix,” you whined.

“C’mon, baby. Please?” Hinata looked at you, bottom lip sticking out, “Let’s go outside and enjoy the sun! We can buy ice cream!”

You hesitated for a second.

“Ice cream and smoothies,” you said, “and we go to the mall tomorrow.”

Hinata sent you the brightest smile.

“Deal!”

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

“Ugh, y/n, I love you so much,” Hinata mumbled out around a mouthful of ice cream. Giggling, you wiped the corner of his mouth.

“I love you too, baby,” you cooed back, heart swelling at the sight of his smile. Hinata didn’t understand how you still managed to give him butterflies after five years of dating, but he wasn’t complaining. The way your eyes crinkled and your nose scrunched when you laughed made him feel warm inside, and he wouldn’t trade you for the world.

“You know, I’ve been thinking a lot, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life like this with you,” you said, eyes shining with adoration as you looked at your boyfriend. The amount of love you held for the spiker in front of you was unexplainable. All you knew is he made you feel like you were on top of the world, the only thing that mattered to him.

Gasping dramatically, Hinata replied, “That’s insane, because I’ve been thinking that too!”

“Stop teasing me,” you laughed off. Hinata’s chuckles blended with yours. The spiker’s joy was cut off as guilt began rising in his stomach. Of course he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. You were his everything, the reason he felt like he could breathe easier, the reason everything in his world was so bright. But he knew he wasn’t faithful during your relationship. Hinata didn’t even know how it happened. All he remembered was waking up in a hotel room, his legs tangled with another’s. He remembered the feeling of his stomach plummeting to his feet once he saw the mangled marks on his back.

Hinata was pulled out of his thoughts by your voice.

“Is that Bokuto?” You questioned, gaze pointed at the sandy beach. Sure enough, the wing spiker along with Atsumu were there, standing on opposite sides of a volleyball net.

“Yeah, Kageyama and Hoshiumi are there too!” Hinata excitedly pointed out, already walking towards the volleyball match. You recognized a couple of other players standing around the area.

Hinata bounded towards them, yelling out, asking if he could join. You laughed as you watched him immediately settle into a disagreement with Kageyama before he came running back towards you.

“Y/n!” Hinata panted out, “I know this was supposed to be a date, but do you mind if I play a couple matches?”

You giggled as you saw the excitement shining in his eyes. 

“It’s no problem, I’ll just go shopping around the boardwalk! Call me when you’re done, but don’t play for too long,” you said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Yes! You’re the best! I love you,” Hinata said as he enveloped you in a hug before taking his shirt off and running back to the volleyball net. Your eyes immediately fell on his shoulders. 

“Shoyo, what’s on your back?”

Hinata stopped in his tracks as his stomach fell to his feet. He had completely forgotten about the evidence of his infidelity on his back. The prospect of playing beach volleyball with his friends overtook his rationality, and now he was paying the price for it. He whipped around, eyes now wide, panic replacing the excitement that was there moments before. The hurt swimming in your eyes was enough to make his heart shatter.

“Y/n, I-” Hinata breathed out, unable to form a complete sentence. The spiker felt his knees go weak as he watched you turn around and walk away from him, shoulders shaking. It wasn’t until he heard you say, ‘I won’t be going back to the apartment tonight, don’t wait up’ that he scrambled for his shirt, shoving it over his head as he attempted to catch up to you.

“Y/n, please wait! Let me explain-” Hinata ran after you. He stopped in his tracks, eyes wide, when you turned around. Nothing but hurt blazed in your eyes as you looked him in the eyes.

“Explain what, Hinata? Did you want to go into detail about how you fucked someone else? Was simply cheating on me not enough? You don’t get to hurt me more than you already have,” you spewed back at him, venom laced in your words. Hinata’s face crumpled into sobs.

“No, y/n, that’s not it at all. I never wanted to hurt you, not ever! I’m so pathetic! I can’t even remember how it happened. It never should have happened, I can’t lose you like this,” Hinata sobbed, falling to his knees at your feet. The thought of losing you sent Hinata’s mind into a panic. His hands scrambled to find yours, clasping to them for dear life. You scoffed at his actions.

“Get up,” you said, looking away from his figure. Hinata hopefully looked up, hoping you would give him the chance to make it up to you. His hopes were shattered, however, when he met your eyes. Instead of the care and affection he was hoping to see, he was met with nothing but embarrassment and putrid hate.

“You’re making a scene. People are staring,” you said, looking around you, “I told you, I’m not going back to the apartment tonight. I’ll grab my stuff later.”

“I’m sorry,” Hinata choked out, “I’m so sorry for everything. Please, you deserve better. Someone who won’t forget what he has in front of him. Someone who will cradle your heart and give you everything you deserve. I love you, y/n. I’m so sorry.”

“I wish I could believe you when you say ‘I love you’, but we both know it’s not true at this point. No loving boyfriend would cheat,” you said lowly, energy drained from the situation.

“No, y/n. Please, if anything, trust that I love you with all of my being, and I would do anything to try and fix this. I can’t imagine my life without you, let me fix this!” Hinata sobbed.

“You should’ve thought about that before you ruined everything,” you said as you looked into his eyes. Tears pooled in both of your eyes. The hurt and regret was evident on the spiker’s face, but you couldn’t give in.

“Goodbye, Hinata.”

[jikookiekosmos]

Use My Best Colors For Your Portrait || jjk

➥Pairing: best friend!jungkook/reader, boyfriend!jungkook/reader, artist!jungkook

➥Summary: After surprising Jungkook with his own studio room for his paintings, he couldn’t be any more over the moon. All’s well and good until he’s struggling to find inspiration...which you happily provide him with. He’s ecstatic to find his muse in you, and painting your portrait brings him so much joy. Things take a turn however, when he suddenly realizes what else he wants to paint.

➥Genre: established relationship, tiny bit of angst if you squint, fluff, smut

➥Rating: 18+

➥Words: ~7.9k (small drabbles don’t exist for me apparently, oops)

➥Content warnings: most of this at the beginning is just cute fluff domestic times (finally not much angst!), blonde jungkook, jk ties his hair up at some point (my weakness), jk puts paints on the reader, making out, slight hair pulling, cursing, shower sex times, jungkook has a big dick, oral (m. receiving), very slight mouth fucking, dirty talk, fingering (very brief), unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex), biting, cumming inside, cute times in the shower, jungkook is actually the sweetest, reader and jk are so in love with each other it hurts, also jk saying ‘only for you’ is a thing i started and can’t stop now oops

A/N: hello! This is part of my Only for You (OFY) Drabble series, but it can be read as a stand-alone! Their relationship will make a lot more sense though if you’ve read OFY beforehand. This fic takes place roughly around six months after the events of OFY (so in between that and the dream drabble I also posted).

Once again, thank you to @dntaewithluv​ for her endless support and always giving me feedback, I forever appreciate you and your friendship is more than I could ever ask for 💜

I’ve written a few other drabbles and will list them below, along with a general timeline:

When I Dream of You - ~1 year after OFY

Stay With Me - a few months after the dream drabble

Also, I hope that if you read this, you enjoy it~

➥OFY Spotify Playlist (songs I listened to for inspo)

➥Series Masterlist

➥All Works Masterlist

taglist: @inlovewiththemoonn​

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

You would do absolutely anything in the world for Jeon Jungkook.

Seeing him happy had to be at the top of your list of favorite things in the world, as it had been for many years as his best friend, and now in the several months since the two of you started dating. Some things just never changed, you guessed.

Which is why you took it upon yourself to change one of the spare rooms in the house you two were renting into a space where he could thrive as the artist he was. Initially, the two of you thought it would be nice to use that space as a work area for you, since your job required you to sometimes do work from home. And for a little while, that’s exactly what you did.

But ever since you found out Jungkook liked to paint – scratch that, he loved to paint, and had been doing so for longer than you thought – the gears started turning in your head.

The current space he was using to create his art was definitely less than ideal. The house had a decent sized garage area, so there was enough room for him to store his supplies and be able to paint without it being too much of an issue. The downside, though, was it was cramped and even though Jungkook said he didn’t mind it, you still couldn’t help the frown from masking your features whenever you saw him huddled up so close to his easel.

For the last few weeks, and with lots of help from internet searches, you’d been slowly converting your space into something like a studio. You didn’t have to worry about Jungkook finding out, either, since he very rarely went into that room seeing as he had no reason to. He respected your privacy the same as you respected his, so this made everything infinitely easier for you in the long run.

The day had finally arrived where you would show the new space to Jungkook. Everything was set up as perfect as you could manage it – at least you hoped so – and you were dying of excitement to show him as soon as possible.

You were also, however, incredibly nervous at the same time. What if he didn’t like it? Even worse, what if he hated it?

Of course, you knew deep down that there was no way Jungkook could hate anything you ever did, unless it was something horrible, but you worried about everything because that’s just how you were. So, when the two of you were sitting at the dinner table one night, you tried hard to swallow the lump in your throat as you listened to Jungkook talk about his newest work.

“I really think you’re gonna like how this one turns out, angel.” Jungkook was offering you a sweet smile as he went to grab another bite of food from his plate. You managed to smile back, despite the hammering of your heart against your chest. He was basically handing you the perfect opening for you to segue the conversation!

“I know I’ll love it, Koo.” You watched as his small smile turned into a full grin, his nose scrunching up in that adorable way that had you falling in love with him all over again every time you saw it.

“Speaking of your paintings,” you started off, clearing your throat while he swallowed down his food. He looked at you with his undivided attention and it made your heart skip a beat.

Ok let’s be real, every damn thing this man did made your heart skip a beat.

“Yeah? What about them?” He twirled more of the noodles around his fork while he waited on your answer.

You gulped. “Wouldn’t you like it if you had more space?”

Jungkook chuckled and placed his fork down, shaking his head as he placed on hand on top of yours that was still resting by your plate. You’d barely touched your food and he noticed.

“Baby,” he started, “as much as I would love to have a bigger space, what I have now is just fine. I know you think it’s stifling my creativity in there, but I’m still creating things and am comfortable.” He squeezed you hand gently before returning to his food.

“I get that you think the garage is fine but what if I told you that- that you could have a bigger workspace.” You finally picked up your fork and were poking around at your own food now, avoiding his gaze. You could feel his stare boring into you regardless, though.

“I mean – yeah, hypothetically I could have more space, but it’s not in the cards for us right now and that’s ok, too. Maybe one day.”

The way he always was optimistic about your future together made you feel warm all over. Jungkook liked to look on the bright side of every situation, and it’s been enough to help you keep your own wits about yourself numerous times now.

But this time you wanted to show him that the future could be closer than he realized.

“Koo, can you come with me real quick? I have something I want to show you.”

You didn’t miss the confused look that flashed across his face for a second before his calm demeanor took over again.

“Of course.” He hopped up from the table, that smile you adored now plastered on his face. “Lead the way.”

“Ok but I also need you to close your eyes.” You reached out to take his hand and were rewarded with an eyebrow raise.

He hummed thoughtfully but did as you asked, closing his eyes and grasping your hand tighter so you could lead him wherever you planned to.

You walked through the house pulling him behind you, feeling your heartbeat quicken with every step to where its pace was almost concerning. Whether or not it was mostly from excitement or nervousness, you weren’t sure.

You finally reached your destination and let go of his hand so you could open the door.

“Keep your eyes closed, ok,” you asked. Jungkook simply nodded and you saw a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He had no idea what you were about to show him, but knowing you and how much he loved pretty much anything you did, he was sure it’d probably make him happy.

And he couldn’t have been more correct in his assumption.

At the quiet sound of you telling him he could open his eyes he did so, slowly at first, blinking to adjust to the light the now flooded over the both of you. It took him several seconds to register exactly what he was seeing, and when he did he couldn’t speak. All he could do was stare around the room, mouth agape.

Decorating the walls were the paintings he had given you, beautiful works of various sizes and themes. Alongside the far wall was a tall shelf that housed all his supplies (how had you managed to get them past him without him noticing?), and even some new things like paints he’d been eyeing for a while and other tools he hadn’t had a chance to get himself yet.

But in the middle of the room stood his easel and chair, set up in the similar fashion as it had been in the garage. His apron was draped across the back of the chair, and there was even tarp laid out underneath the workspace. You research had paid off because everything was set up in such a way that it created the perfect atmosphere for Jungkook’s creativity to shine through in ways it hadn’t been able to before.

You weren’t aware of this yet, however, because you were still watching Jungkook’s reaction. He still hadn’t said anything, and as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, you started to wonder if this was the right call-

Strong arms were pulling you up from the ground and spinning you around before you could process it, making you squeal with delight as Jungkook twirled you before bringing you back down to pepper kisses all over you face.

“Angel, I can’t believe this, you did all this for me?” He was still holding onto your hips tightly, beaming as he looked down at you. Your nod and giggle was all the confirmation he needed before he pulled you into another kiss, this one slightly more heated than the ones before.

“Do you like it,” you questioned when the both of you pulled away to breathe. Jungkook laughed before taking your face in his hands and brushing his nose along yours.

“Do I like it? Baby, I love it. It’s perfect! Thank you so much.” Another kiss. “I love it and I love you, I love you so fucking much.”

His happiness made your heart soar and you definitely knew that you’d do something like this an infinite amount of times if it meant he’d keep that smile on his face.

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A few weeks passed by and Jungkook had been using his new studio nearly everyday at this point. His creations had been increasing in numbers and he was starting to receive commissions from others thanks to his small online shop he’d set up with your help. He still worked at the bar as his primary job, but he was also grateful to have a hobby on the side that could potentially yield something lucrative.

Of course, Jungkook’s increase in his time spent on his art still didn’t take away from his time with you. If anything, it gave the both of you another way to spend time together, since now there was enough space for you to sit in and observe him paint when you couldn’t before. You often sat quietly and either did some of your own work or engaged in your own hobbies while he painted, and it was always peaceful.

There came a day, though, that you never thought you’d experience: Jungkook had run out of inspiration. He’d hit his first real artist’s block and it was taking a bigger toll on him than he would’ve liked.

You rubbed his shoulders as he sat in front of his easel one night, groaning in frustration about his current work. “It’s not turning out at all like I want it to. I’ve been struggling with finding new inspiration and it clearly shows in whatever this is.” He vaguely gestured to the canvas, prompting you to place a kiss on his cheek as you ran your hand through his pretty blonde hair. You knew that always helped to calm him down and this case was no exception.

Jungkook sighed heavily, turning to place a kiss on your palm that was still lingering around his face. “Sorry, I don’t mean to get worked up. It just sucks, you know? I’d been on this really good streak of creating things and now I just…can’t. It’s weird and I don’t like it.” He pouted slightly and the sight made you giggle.

“I know, baby, but you’ll figure something out. You always do.” You placed a kiss on top of his head before you walked around to sit on his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and one of his hands cradled your waist to steady you.

He was humming thoughtfully as he looked you up and down, your hands now playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“What are you thinking about?”

He smiled slyly. “You.”

You rolled you eyes before returning the smile. “Ok, what about me? I’m curious.”

His hand was rubbing up and down your side. “Nothing in particular, just usually looking at you can help me with inspiration.”

His confession made you gasp. “Really?”

He nodded and smiled wider. “Really. You inspire me a lot.” He placed a chaste kiss on your lips before sighing again. “This time though it’s not really working like I’d hoped.”

You watched his eyes close and his brows furrow before an idea popped into your head. “Hey,” you reached down to tilt his chin up so he’d look at you, “It might be a long shot, but: have you ever considered painting portraits?”

He pursed his lips as he thought about it. The simple act made you want to kiss him but now wasn’t the time.

“Honestly…no. I’ve never thought about it before because I usually prefer to paint scenery.”

You searched his eyes as you asked your next question. “Well, if you want to try, maybe you could paint me? Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, maybe it can help spark a new idea or something?”

You watched as his eyes slowly lit up at your suggestion, his face morphing into a smile that you mirrored.

“That’s a great idea! It’s something new and it also includes you, so I already love it.” You chuckled in his lap as he hugged you closer, placing a small kiss on your neck. “Thank you.”

You ran your hands through his hair again before leaning back. “Anything for you. Do you want to start now?”

He thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, we can do that. Is there, uh – was there something specific you wanted to wear for it?”

You wiggled your eyebrows suggestively. “Are you suggesting you want to paint a nude portrait?”

Even though Jungkook knew your body better than you did at this point, your words still managed to make him blush as he groaned. “No, I wasn’t thinking that- not that I’d mind of course just you know, whatever makes you comfortable-”

You laughed at his flustered nature before hopping off his lap. “You’re so cute. I’ll go find something to change into, it shouldn’t take long.”

“R-right,” he stuttered, still clearly somewhat affected by what you had said. You shook your head with amusement as you went to your bedroom to find something to wear. You settled for a purple dress that you knew Jungkook loved, and considering a lot of his paintings involved shades of purple and blue, you figured it would be perfect.

You knew you made the right choice when you stepped back into the room and saw Jungkook’s face when his eyes fell on you. He looked like he’d never seen someone so beautiful (he looked at you like that a lot and it always did something to you) and your lips curled upwards into a smile before you could realize it.

You stopped in the doorway and twirled, giving him a full view of the dress. “Is this ok?”

You already knew the answer, but it was always nice to hear him say it.

He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, it’s perfect. You can, uh, you can take a seat whenever you’re ready.”

While you were changing, Jungkook had pulled one of the loveseats from the living room into the space so you’d have somewhere to sit or lay while he painted you. The loveseat was a dark blue color and it contrasted beautifully against the color of your dress. You decided to lay on it in a comfortable pose, and you couldn’t help the small giggle you let out at Jungkook’s reaction to your choice.

You had laid an arm behind your head, turning your face so you were looking at him while the rest of your body was sprawled out on the loveseat. One of your legs dangled over the side, making the skirt of your dress hike up somewhat. You were very comfortable, and Jungkook was very happy with your pose.

“Make it pretty, ok,” you joked with him. He smirked at your comment.

“You know I will. I’ll use my best colors, just for you.”

“Wow, I feel special,” you quipped back. You were rewarded with the sound of his beautiful laughter as it echoed off the walls.

“You’re the most special,” he admitted honestly. You gave him a brilliant smile and he felt his heart stutter.

With the way you were looking at him, Jungkook thought that if he didn’t start painting, he may never start. So, he forced himself to tear his eyes away from you so he could find the paints he needed to get started. He tied up his hair, a few of the blonde strands escaped and framed his face but he didn’t seem to mind it too much as he got to work.

Thankfully, since you’d chosen a good position, the process was easier than you thought it would be. You just had to lie there and watch him work, which you happily did. You enjoyed watching his face scrunch up in concentration before relaxing again as he brushed stroke after stroke onto the canvas.

You were so beyond proud of him that it made your heart swell inside your chest.

Jungkook had been painting for a little over half an hour before he announced it was time to take a break. He could paint for hours on end without stopping, but that was when he didn’t have a live subject he was working with. He walked over to you with a bottle of water so you could sip from it without having to disturb your position too much.

You sat up slightly so you could drink, and while you did so, one of your dress straps started falling down your arm. Jungkook immediately went to move it back into place, but as he did, he couldn’t help but stare at the dark contrast of the purple satin against your skin. He thought it was so pretty, and his mind started wandering to how the paint itself might look-

He shook his head to rid himself of the thought. He may have been covered in paint himself, but that didn’t mean he needed to go putting paint on you.

When you were re-situated on the loveseat once more, Jungkook strolled back over to this easel. Unfortunately, since that thought of you covered in paint first took up residence inside his head, he now found it hard to focus on anything else. While he stared at you to try and resume your portrait, he just kept picturing you with painted streaks covering your skin instead.

You must have noticed he was distracted because soon you were calling over to him. “Kook? Is something wrong?”

He gulped and shook his head. “No, nothing’s wrong! You’re doing great, baby.”

“Do you need me some other way?”

Such a simple statement and yet it was stirring something inside of him. Asking him if he needed you a certain way ignited that desire to once again paint you and he found himself unable to hold back from asking anymore.

“Yeah, I uh, I wanted to try something.” You were confused when he got up and started walking toward you, only carrying his paint supplies. At first you thought maybe he just wanted to get closer, but he didn’t bring the easel with him.

“What are you wanting to try,” your voice was laced with curiosity. He gave you a shy smile.

“I was just thinking about how pretty it would be,” he looked down at the floor then back up at your face before he continued, “if I used you as a canvas instead.”

You felt your breath hitch in your throat at the request. Jungkook was asking to paint you, not paint you on a portrait, but to paint you. The suggestion intrigued you a lot more than you thought it would, which is ultimately what led to you nodding your agreement. “I think I’d like to try that, too.”

Jungkook’s face broke into such a dazzling smile that excited you to no end. You watched as he pulled his chair close to you, as well as some tarp to place around the area. When he was situated where he wanted to be, he dipped his brush into some of the purple paint on his palette and gently lifted your arm. The feeling of the paint as it brushed along your arm was foreign but not unwelcome. There was something about it that was almost calming.

You were now also recalling all the times you’d told Jungkook how pretty he looked even covered in paint. The pretty colors contrasting with his beautiful, golden skin tone never failed to take your breath away no matter how many times you saw it. You wondered briefly if this is what he was experiencing now as he took his time painting your skin.

He was focusing on your with such intensity and taking great care to only get the paint where he wanted it, so as to not stain certain parts of you or your dress. The sight of his caution made that familiar warmth bloom in your chest again.

He took his time painting beautiful designs along your arm before moving down to paint on your thighs and legs. He was alternating between purple and blue hues now, and the swirling patterns reminded you a lot of his tattoos that you adored. You had spent many nights lying next to him in bed, tracing the lines of his tattoos until you were too sleepy to keep it up. Seeing the patterns against your own skin briefly made you think about if you would ever want to get a tattoo. Before you put too much thought into it, your attention was pulled back to Jungkook who was sitting up now and admiring his work.

The time had passed by much quicker than you anticipated, and it was starting to get dark outside as the light was no longer filtering in through the windows of the room.

He seemed satisfied as he nodded and smiled. “Wait here, I’ll be right back. Stay just like this,” he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead before leaving the room. When he returned, he had his coveted polaroid camera in his hands. Jungkook was also big into photography, and every one of his hobbies suited him perfectly in some way.

“Is it ok if I take a photo of you, baby?”

You grinned and nodded, being careful not to move too much from your current position. He snapped the photo and the polaroid was printing immediately after. When he pulled it from the camera, he laid it down on the table next to his easel so it could develop properly.

Jungkook wiped his hands off on his apron before taking it off and drawing his attention back to you. He could stare at you like this all day, but he knew it would probably be best to get you both cleaned up and paint-free.

He offered a hand for you so he could help pull you off the loveseat. When you were up fully, he wrapped his arms around you, careful to not get any of his exposed, paint-covered skin on your dress.

“You look so beautiful like this,” he murmured softly, brushing some of your hair out of your face as his eyes scanned up and down your body to admire his creation. “And as much as I love seeing it, we should probably get this paint off soon. When it dries too much, it can be a bitch to scrub off, and I don’t want that for you.”

You chuckled at that and simply nodded your head. You’d been lying there for nearly 2 hours at this point, so you were pretty tired and ready to just relax for the night.

The two of you hopped into the shower shortly after, helping each other rid your bodies of the remnants of paint covering you both. You always loved taking showers with Jungkook, because whether or not it was a short, regular shower, or one shared after a night of intimacy, these moments were some that you cherished the most and wouldn’t change for the world.

You got lost in the feeling of Jungkook scrubbing shampoo into your hair, letting out soft noises as your eyes slipped closed.

Your noises always threatened to drive Jungkook crazy, and this time was no exception. He couldn’t deny the stirring of his cock as he listened to the little moans slipping from your mouth at such a simple action.

Of course, since he was so close to you, there was no way you didn’t feel him. His cock was hardening against your thigh, and the fact that you were turning him on by not doing much turned you on.

You could feel the wetness start to slip past your folds, but you decided to not make any moves yet, wondering how far you could take this before either of you snapped. You knew that teasing him was one of the quickest ways to get Jungkook riled up.

“Feels so good, Koo,” you shamelessly moaned out as he kept massaging the shampoo into your hair. You heard him let out a small grunt at your deliberate words, feeling him twitch against your thigh as he got harder.

You leaned your head back to give him a better view of your neck, since you knew he loved to mark you up there. His hands were starting to tangle in your hair, but he took care to not pull too hard as he brought his attention back to the task(s) at hand.

He was currently focusing on two things: 1) getting the rest of the shampoo out of your hair, and 2) not fucking you up against the shower wall. Doing the first thing was currently keeping him from acting on the second, but you certainly weren’t helping with that.

Your head lolled around on your neck, your eyes still closed as your sounds got louder. He knew you were messing with him now, so as retaliation he pulled on your hair a little tighter, making you gasp.

“You’re doing this on purpose, angel,” you could hear the dark tone of his voice over the waterfall in the shower clearly, and it just made you more aroused. You chanced opening your eyes to look at him, and the sight you were met with made you moan louder, this time without trying.

Jungkook was staring at you, mouth slightly parted as he let out pants of his own, his blonde, soaked tresses falling in his face and covering his eyes. His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he tugged on your hair again, making you reach out to place your hands on his chest.

“You’re teasing me to get me worked up, hm?” All you could do was nod, his husky voice and the feeling of his hand wrapped in your hair making you wetter by the second. There was no use in playing coy any longer. You wanted him, and he wanted you.

The question now was: who would make the first move?

You realized that you wanted to be the one to make the first move, so you did.

“So, what if I am,” you asked sweetly, wrapping your hand around his length and pumping him slowly. His eyes closed and he leaned his forehead against your shoulder, fingers now digging into your waist.

“You know what happens when you do that,” Jungkook warned. You absolutely knew what happened, and you definitely wanted it to happen.

“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe you should enlighten me.” You teased him as you gently nibbled on his earlobe, increasing your pace as you continued to stroke him. You heard him let out a soft moan against your shoulder as he placed a kiss there.

With no more hesitation, you turned him slightly and sank down to your knees in front of him, delighted by how his cock jerked in your hold when you steadied it with your hand.

Jungkook stared at you wide-eyed as you started moving your hand around his shaft before placing a gentle kiss on his tip, the prettiest groan falling from his lips. “Fuck, Y/N, are you sure you want to do this?”

You peeked up at him as you fluttered your eyelashes, knowing that seeing you like this always aroused him beyond belief. You continued moving your hand in slow, languid strokes, and he was almost fully hard now.

He let his head hit the wall behind him, soft curses and praises for you tumbling from his mouth. 

Seeing him like this had to be near the top of the list of your favorite sights to ever witness. And right then is when you figured it’d be the perfect time to surprise him. Without a warning you opened your mouth and took all of him in that you could reach.

Jungkook’s reaction was immediate.

“Hey wait what are y- oh my God, fuck.” His loud moan echoed off the walls of the room, causing a fresh wave of arousal to pool between your thighs. You sucked harder as you hollowed out your cheeks, ignoring the way your throat constricted around him.

“Y/N, shit, you feel so good, your mouth- fuck, angel, I don’t want to hurt you,” Jungkook was panting hard above you, eyes shut and brows furrowed, jaw slack as he unabashedly continued to moan at your actions. He was reaching behind him to try and hold something, but the smooth wall had nothing to offer him. His fingers were slipping against the tile, so he gave up and instead settled for clenching and unclenching his fists.

You pulled off him with a pop, a string of saliva left in your wake. You smiled up at him as you kept stroking him, not wanting his pleasure to disappear in the slightest.

“You won’t hurt me, Koo,” you reassured him, earning another groan from the man falling apart under your touch. He twitched in your hold, and you stuck your tongue out again to run it along the underside of his length. 

Jungkook chanced looking down at you, only to look up at the ceiling a moment later while he muttered a strained “holy shit.” 

“C’mon baby, don’t you want to look at me,” you taunted him as your tongue played with the head of his cock, swirling around him. The low groans coming from above you let you know that he enjoyed that a lot.

“Fuck, angel, I-” Jungkook’s sentence died as a moan ripped itself from his throat when you surged back down to take all of him in again. This time you continued moving, feeling the tears in the corners of your eyes but not stopping.

It wasn’t like you’d never sucked him off like this before, seeing as it was one of your favorite activities, after all. But it was a rare occasion where Jungkook would let you take all of him in one go for fear of hurting you. So, you took these chances whenever they presented themselves, and the reward was always, always worth it.

Tears along with the water droplets from the shower were coating your face but you didn’t care. All of your focus was on Jungkook and how he was trying so hard to restrain himself above you. You watched his fists clench and unclench and you could feel himself struggle to keep his hips from moving forward so he didn’t fuck your mouth.

Yeah, you weren’t having that. You wanted him to let go, wanted him to know that it was ok, that you wanted this. You reached out to grab one of his hands and placed it in your hair, relishing in the way his fingers immediately tangled themselves into the wet strands. You pulled your mouth off of him again, but not before letting your tongue drag slowly across every inch of him.

You looked up at him again as you pumped him leisurely, waiting until he brought his gaze down to stare at you, only for him to quickly close his eyes again.

“God, I can’t look at you, like I want to, fuck do I want to, but you look so fucking good like this, I’m not gonna last-”

You always found his stammering to be cute and you didn’t want to torture him too much longer. Deciding that you’d teased him enough, you took all of him into your mouth again, intertwining your fingers with his unoccupied hand and giving it a squeeze. The intimacy of this particular action was always enough to get both of you going, and it had Jungkook’s hips stuttering as you sucked hard.

“Fuck, baby, always take me so good like this. Always so good for me, I love you, fuck,” he was groaning as his head hit the wall behind him again, his hold in your hair tightening the same moment you felt him buck his hips like you’d been wanting all this time.

Unfortunately, for you, whenever Jungkook would fuck your mouth, no matter how much you wanted to sit there and take it without issue, his size always proved to be too big for you to handle and it had you coughing around his length in no time. Which, of course, always made Jungkook stop what he was doing before either of you had the chance to enjoy it much.

“Fuck, baby, I’m so sorry, are you ok?” Jungkook pulled you up while you kept coughing, brushing the wet strands of hair out of your face and looking at you with worry. You nodded and tried to reassure him, wanting to get back on your knees for him, but he held you in place.

“You don’t want me to continue,” you asked, your voice a little more hoarse than usual thanks to what your throat had just endured.

Jungkook shook his head. “No, angel, it’s not that. If you do keep going, I’ll cum in no time.” He brushed some of the water away from under your eyes, not knowing if it was tears or from the shower. He bent down to place a rough kiss on your lips, such a contrast from how his hands caressed your face.

“I want to be inside of you when that happens,” he murmured against you, gently biting down on your bottom lip and pulling a whine from you, in turn causing more wetness to gush between your legs. “If you’ll let me, of course.”

You almost laughed. “Koo, you know I’ll let you do anything at this point.”

He chuckled. “That’s a dangerous admission, baby. You sure about that?”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. “Of course I’m sure. I’d let you do anything you want because I trust you. Because I love you,” it was your turn to kiss him this time, and it was filled with so much passion it nearly made him dizzy. Jungkook could never get tired of the feeling of your lips against his, of hearing you say that you loved him, of feeling your skin pressed against each other during times like these.

Jungkook was hooked on you and he never wanted to go back to a time where he wasn’t.

You pulled him out of his thoughts as you tugged on some of his hair, earning a delicious sounding grunt from him. You whispered your next snarky comment right by his ear.

“You gonna fuck me now, baby?”

Your bluntness had his cock quickly stirring back to life after it had softened some during your coughing incident. He growled low and dark as he started placing love bites on your collarbone.

“Sure you don’t want me to return the favor first, angel?” He was marking up your skin while he asked this, so you almost didn’t realize what he was asking specifically but then it dawned on you.

“As much I love seeing you with your head between my legs,” you responded, tugging on his hair again, “I’d rather have you fuck me up against this wall.”

He moaned against your collarbone, the action vibrating your skin. He pulled off of you and brought your lips to his in a filthy kiss. “Your wish is my command.”

Jungkook lifted you up then by placing his hands under your ass and you got the message, wrapping your legs around him as he held you up. He turned so your back was against the wall, the only things now holding you up being his strong arms and the smooth tile behind you.

He first plunged two fingers inside you without a warning, making you let out a silent scream. He smirked at the way you clenched around his fingers, scissoring them before pulling them out again. You whined at the loss and he shushed you with a gentle kiss on your nose.

“Had to make sure you’re ready, baby.” He had one arm wrapped around your waist, trapped in between your back and the shower wall. With his now free hand, he lined himself up with your entrance, moaning when the tip of his cock was sucked in by your velvety walls.

“Fuck, you already feel so good and I’m barely in yet,” he clenched his jaw as he sank further into you inch by inch. When he finally bottomed out and was filling you up in the best way possible, you clenched around him to tease him further, making him curse.

“Watch it, angel,” he growled. “You’re gonna make it very hard for me to not blow it if you keep doing that, and I want you there with me when I do.”

“Then I guess you’d better start moving,” you teased, wrapping your arms more tightly around his neck. You knew what was coming next; Jungkook would put you exactly in your place, just like you wanted. And for that you needed to hold on tight for dear life because that man could rock you like nothing ever had before.

Jungkook grabbed your hips firmly in his hold as he fucked up into you, making sure you were held against the wall and weren’t in danger of falling down as he did so. Despite this, each thrust had you sliding more up the wall until he would bring you back down again. When he found a pace that was he was sure he could resume without either of you getting hurt, he finally let go.

To say you saw stars would be an understatement. Jungkook was fucking you with so much vigor that you weren’t just seeing stars, you were sure you were seeing entire galaxies. Your sounds kept dying out on your tongue because the feeling was so overwhelming and it had your trembling around him in no time.

“Can’t make any sounds when I’m fucking you this good, angel?” Jungkook was taunting you now and quite frankly, he was right, he was fucking you so good that you were finding it hard to say anything. And the mixture of his dirty words with the sweet pet name you adored had you clenching even tighter around him, causing him to groan loudly and grip your waist tighter.

You eventually found your voice again when Jungkook hit a certain spot inside of you, pulling an embarrassingly loud whine from your throat. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, tears almost brimming in your eyes once again at how good he felt.

“Fuck, Jungkook, feels so good, oh my God-” your praises made him twitch inside you as he moved his hands now from your waist to hold you up by cupping your ass, squeezing tightly in time with his thrusts. He was bouncing you up and down on his cock now with his strength alone, and the thought of it made your orgasm start to approach at an alarmingly fast rate.

“I love feeling you so close like this, I love you, so fucking much, shit-” Jungkook cut himself off as threw his head back to get his hair out of his face, careful not to let his balance falter or his grip slip on you. He had to do it though because his hair was keeping him from seeing your face now that you were leaning your head back against the wall, and he couldn’t have that.

“I love you, Jungkook, I’m close, fuck,” you were breathing hard as you couldn’t control your moans any longer, eyes squeezed shut and tears falling from just how much pleasure you were receiving and also how much you loved this man. Jungkook was the man you’d loved for so many years before you were finally able to call him yours. He always took care of you in every aspect of life, and you reciprocated it as best you could. And it was because of this kind of love you two had for each other that made these intimate times all the more meaningful. You were sitting here, back up against a shower wall in the arms of the man you loved while he rearranged your guts, and it was such an emotional experience alongside being a pleasurable one that the tears actually made sense.

Jungkook bit down on your shoulder and pulled you out of your reverie, making you cry out as he muffled his own sounds against your skin. You could tell by his thrusts that he was getting close now, his grunts happening more frequently and louder, echoing off the tiled shower walls. The water had already started to get cold but neither of you cared. Nothing outside of the two of you existed in this moment, and that was exactly how you liked it.

“Touch yourself for me, baby, I’m close, want you to be there with me,” Jungkook breathed out, his grip on your ass harsher now and you were sure there’d be marks tomorrow. You loved it when he marked you up, and even though he always felt slightly bad about it, you knew Jungkook loved seeing the marks, too.

You obeyed his command and reached down to rub your clit, nearly shrieking at the new wave of pleasure that washed over you. The sensations on your clit, his cock hitting that perfect spot inside of you, the way he was holding you, and all the things he was saying to you was enough to finally push you over the edge.

“Jungkook, I’m cumming, fuck-” you barely had time to utter out your warning before you were cumming hard around his length, your body spasming as he held you through it.

He sped up then, chasing his own high now, the feeling of your walls clenching around him making his eyes roll back. “Fuck, I can feel you, always so perfect for me, I’m close-”

His eyes were closed now so he didn’t see you reach for him. You pulled him closer so you could kiss him, hoping to help him along this way, swallowing down every beautiful sound he was making. “C’mon Koo, cum for me, wanna feel you fill me up.”

“Fuuuuck,” he moaned out, loud and long as that was the last thing he needed to get him there. His hips stuttered a few more times before you felt him twitch and fill you up, just like you wanted. Because gravity was working against you due to your current position, you could feel some of it dripping out of you despite Jungkook still being inside of you. The feeling made you scrunch up your nose, and the action made Jungkook laugh and mumble out ‘cute’ as he placed a kiss on the tip of your nose.

He pulled out of you carefully before moving you away from the wall so he could set you down on your feet. Your legs were a little wobbly, so he let you brace yourself against him as he helped you clean up.

The water was nearing a very uncomfortable cold temperature, but the both of you would rather endure that than leave the shower without cleaning off completely. After the workout you both had, there was nothing more you wanted than to curl up with each other in the bed.

After helping each other get clean again, and stealing quite a few kisses while doing so, Jungkook helped you out of the shower since you still didn’t trust your legs and dried you off before taking care of himself. Your heart swelled at the sight of him as it always did when he would take care of you like this.

You just hoped that you were taking care of him in all the ways he needed as well. You were certainly trying your best and would continue to do so for the rest of your life.

Once you were both snuggled into bed, him with an arm under you and you with your face nuzzling against his chest, you broke the silence first.

“If that’s what happens when I let you put paint on me, we should do that more often.”

Jungkook, who was tracing invisible patterns on your back in between your shoulder blades, laughed so hard you shook along with him. When he finally calmed down, he was able to answer you. “I totally agree. Although, I don’t think that happened because I painted you. It happened because you-” he booped you on the nose “-teased me, knowing full well what happens when you do.”

You shrugged as best you could with his arms around you. “You love it, though.”

Jungkook chuckled. “Indeed I do.” He placed a kiss on the top of your head and resumed his earlier soothing tracing of patterns on your skin. You rested your cheek against his chest and could hear his heartbeat, slow and steady. The combined actions of his hands and the steady thrum of his heartbeat was enough to have slumber calling your name in a matter of minutes.

Jungkook had something more to say, however.

“Hey,” he called gently, making you look up at him with groggy eyes. He smiled at the sight. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For helping me. For being my muse. I’ve got more ideas now about what else to create, and I don’t think I could’ve gotten there without your help.”

You smiled at him before you placed your head down again and shut your eyes once more, breathing deeply. “You would’ve eventually. That’s just how you are. Maybe I sped up the process, but you would’ve done fine.”

“Perhaps,” he sighed and looked at the ceiling. His glance travelled down to look at your nearly sleeping form, laying on him calm and unbothered. Moments like these topped his list of favorite things, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.

“Goodnight, angel,” he murmured softly, not sure if you were asleep or not yet. You muttered something unintelligible back, but he knew you were telling him goodnight all the same, and it brought a smile to his face.

Jungkook wanted to tackle life with you, the good, the bad, all of it; he wanted to do it with you by his side. He wanted to make sure every day of your life from here on out was filled with happiness and love and everything you deserved in the world, just as you wanted to do the same for him. He knew you’d do anything for him, and he’d do anything for you.

Only for you.