#I also just know what kind of teenage exocolonist I would be

[skysyzygy]

Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like if I was in Exocolonist like “Oooh maybe I’d befriend all of them, maybe I’d become an engineer, oooooh” when I know damn well I’d just get Nomi-Nomi to recreate Hatsune Miku

[teaandinanity]

Yep, looks like this is happening. Here’s the first segment of the uh. 17 pages and counting I’ve written going ‘I can make this better worse’ about I Was A Teenage Exocolonist.

[cut]

They wonder, sometimes, if the augment was a response to their nightmares.

They’ve always had them. When they sleep, they remember things that haven’t happened yet, awful things, things that left scars on a psyche significantly more well-equipped to handle them than that of a toddler.

They’re not a toddler anymore. The dreams - the memories - have only gotten worse.

They can’t talk about it. They tried a few times as a little kid. They tried, only to be told they were just dreams. That alone probably wouldn’t have stopped them; what did was the creeping certainty that if they didn’t stop, the adults would decide there was something wrong with them, something that needed fixing.

At eight, they haven’t tried in years. They know that if they’re too strange, the adults will try to fix them, and it would mean everything went wrong again. The dreams aren’t a problem; they’re a warning.

They don’t need to be fixed. Sol doesn’t need to be fixed. What they need is to fix the shields. Which they can’t do until they understand what’s going to go wrong.

They sit on the floor with the engineering manuals they used to demand to be read instead of storybooks and stare at the diagrams, trying to force their developing brain to grasp concepts that were challenging as a teenager, frustrated enough to cry.

They do cry, tears welling up and sliding down their face, but they don’t sob. They don’t make a sound, tucked away in a corner, and that means no one notices. No one but Congruence, but they changed their privacy settings off the infant alerts as soon as they could speak. No one noticed that, either.

The temperament augment doesn’t keep them from feeling desperation or despair or fear, but it means they deal with what’s troubling them quietly, in a way that doesn’t trouble anyone else. So they cry quietly through eyes they don’t let waver from the diagrams, repeating mathematical formulae in their head, making sure they have them memorized.

This time, it’s going to be different.

[mdhwrites]

The Lumity Kiss is Bad

Which is really weird when the actual, physical kiss is pretty much textbook perfect. However, this isn't a quick kiss or a throwaway one. It's the BIG kiss in a romantic subplot. The second half of the resolution we got in Knock Knock Knocking with the confession and the show frames it that way. As such... The kiss is more than just the kiss and it's every element around the physical action that ruins it, making even the textbook nature of it somehow flawed.

Let's start with the positive though. Now I've actually said I don't like how the kiss is animated and I do kind of stick to that. If you go to the 57 mark of this clip of the kiss, you can literally watch as Amity's face slides back to being on model.

And kind of like a lot of moments in the show with big budget animation, that's not a HUGE issue but it is deciding that frame rate and smoothness is king for good animation without considering how jarring it is to watch in the show and if it actually fits within the style of the show. I find TOH fights WAY more enjoyable to watch when isolated by themselves because of this because they aren't in an uncanny valley where they feel like a well produced fan animation than something official and I do still hold to that with the kiss itself. I just wish I could better describe why.

BUT! I said I had a positive to talk about and I do. For three seconds, the scene is just right. Luz says the date will be perfect before then Amity, looking at Luz, the person who the mere thought of was comforting her and who she's been worried about for a week, decides to go in and kiss her. Her hands are gentle as they take Luz's face and she leans in. Luz is shocked that this is happening but then quickly gives into the bliss and holds Amity's hand in her own. It is sweet, quick but incredibly impactful. It is a textbook example of how to do a kiss that one half of the pair didn't see coming and the couple are meant to be deeply in love. It's nothing new but doing the classic spot on is never a bad thing.

Those three seconds die the second Luz says, "Crikey," let alone the fact that it's in an Australian accent. And don't get me wrong: You do not have to make a kiss like this sappy. I Was A Teenage Exocolonist has a romance route with a very clinical, scientific person and when you two get together, she snarks at you if you ask what next. That I should know her well enough to know she has a logical decision deduced from what is correct for the situation.

"So are you going to kiss me or am I going to kiss you?"

Great. Amazing. Silly and not taking itself too seriously but above all else IN. CHARACTER.

I'm sorry to break it to you all but Luz is NOWHERE NEAR "Lol, random" enough for this. Hell, in both this scene and Looking Glass Ruins, the writers point out how Amity is driven to act on emotion and on what her brain pulls her towards more than Luz, especially on this topic. It's why Amity is ALWAYS the one to do the firsts in their relationship. Meanwhile, Luz's only times where she blurts out something random is "Snorses" which had a clear correlation to what was happening and "You damn rat!" which also was explicitly tied to the stimuli causing it.

What stimuli here makes her go "Crikey" and turn FUCKING AUSTRALIAN!? The only reasonable excuse I could even think of is to say she's a huge Crocodile Dundee fan but Luz was born theoretically somewhere around 2006, literally TWENTY YEARS after that movie came out and I don't feel like Camila would push something like that for her to watch or really fits in with most of what else Luz seems to enjoy.

Fucking BAZINGA would have been more in character because at least nerds still mock Big Bang Theory. Other options for a random word or reference would have been "Excelsior!" or "Wahoo!" as she jumps into the air like the hyperactive gremlin she's supposed to be.

Neither one would work though in general because the tone and framing of the scene isn't right for a joke, let alone this sort of joke. Part of what makes the kiss feel so justified in this moment is the setup... Though only on Amity's side. I'll get to the problems with Luz's setup for the kiss in a bit.

Amity has thought Luz might be dead for a week. She hasn't heard back from her, she's scared, distressed and strung out. She wants things to go back to simpler times like in Season 1 when things weren't so scary. She's emotional and is actively using the thought of Luz as a way to comfort herself. Then, out of nowhere, Luz comes in, promising romance, better times and safety, all while proving she herself is safe.

It is perfect setup in a story like this for the first kiss. Honestly, they could have gone one step farther and mentioned that they haven't even had a big kiss but they went with the missing out on the date element, which works just as well. It's nothing new but it's correct. It's good. However... It's also genuinely serious. Like this is effectively Amity laying out exactly why she likes Luz. The strength she gets from Luz. Why this relationship is important to her. It is great setup for an "I love you," or a first kiss.

It is a REALLY bad setup for a joke. However... as bad Luz's joke is... Amity's is actually worse.

"I can't believe I just did that!"

Yeah and I can't believe that in this moment that should show how far Luz and Amity have come as a couple, the strength and joy they've gained after being a couple for half a season, you're literally reacting the EXACT same way as you did when you kissed her on the cheek back in Looking Glass Ruins. It doesn't matter that you have nicknames now. That you two keep twirling each other about. Have had deep conversations about Luz's pain while Luz ignored yours. *eye twitch at Reaching Out* And it doesn't matter that in this moment, you have EVERY justification to be confident in this choice. To simply happy and overcome with emotion that your partner is simply ALIVE.

Her response should have been, "I'm so happy to see you," not literally going back an entire half a season for a cheap, repeat gag.

To be fair though, while this entire scene, from the moment it cuts to Amity talking to Emira and Edric, is obviously paying reverence to how big of a deal this is and trying to make the kiss be correct... The jokes are in keeping with how quite literally the rest of the episode treats Lumity. Remember, this episode starts with Luz claiming she'd like to pull a romantic rescue but deciding to opt out because despite having literally nothing to do with the plan, and likely being detrimental to how stealthy they need to be because fewer numbers are better here, she would rather be prepared to help Eda and King than actually break her girlfriend out from being grounded by the EC. This is despite, in Luz's own words, "You know me. I'll always choose the chaotic option." That... Isn't a good starting point.

Then the rescue is comically easy and Luz doesn't actually do any of it. It's all Gus, Willow and Hunter. Luz just gets to take the credit and get the big hero kiss, which this ABSOLUTELY IS. Amity was a damsel in distress for Luz to save, complete with a kiss for doing so. That's also without getting into how pathetically easy the save is. Like Willow doesn't even have to try to bury one dude and an abomaton ALIVE under ground. Frankly, I'm amazed that guard is still alive.

It's just a lot of stuff way too easy to be leading into what is the final payoff for your romantic subplot, let alone one that has taken up a THIRD of your story so far.

The rest of the episode isn't any better though. This should be an episode about Lumity. It starts with talking about Amity in trouble. Then it saves Amity and does the big, climactic kiss... But we haven't gotten Luz's side of the relationship yet, have we? We haven't gotten her speech like we did Amity's. We haven't gotten anything to show her deeper care for Amity and while Amity is talking about Luz's quirks and her kindness and the strength she gets from her, Knock Knock Knocking is really the closest we've gotten with "Awesome and pretty" which is vague and shallow. This is your chance to fix that.

There's even a perfect moment. Odalia threatens their relationship and says Luz isn't worthy. Have Luz agree... But then say it doesn't matter what her or Odalia think. That she is lucky to have someone as smart, dedicated, and passionate while having a sweet center that despite all her fears, anytime she's with Amity, she knows Amity is going to give her the chances she needs. Is going to understand what she's trying to say instead of looking at how weird she is and rejecting her. Take ten, twenty seconds to do that... While in the background, we can see Gus obviously thinking about something, glance at Luz, and then start working on a spell circle.

The shield comes down, get the dramatic reveal of Alador and then cut back to where Hunter is holding Amity's hand. Same effect as the show but allow Gus to make the plan of his own volition because he wants to protect his bro and this was the best he could think of. He thought Luz would be more capable of defending herself due to glyphs and that Belos was less likely to kill her than Hunter. Also, it was in a panic and the best he could think of.

INSTEAD, we get Luz ignoring Amity's problems with her parents for the THIRD FUCKING TIME and focusing on the white boy in the cast instead. In fact, I don't think Lumity talk to each other ONCE after the kiss scene. The focus is too much on the plot and Amity's angst and I could do an entire blog about how little Luz actually engages with Amity's character arc and plot elements. It makes it real rough analyzing old episodes for Amity's arc when you realize how much Amity jumps in her arc without almost any input from Luz on elements that are suddenly gone.

And this would be OKAY... But it makes the kiss feel like... Well, honestly like a gag. We're at a point in the show after all where very little of it is trying to be funny. Even Gus and King are being taken seriously now and Amity will be a joke for most of S3, especially in Thanks to Them. Even her standing up to her mother is lightly mocked by Alador sounding like he's just saying sweet lies in telling Amity that she was close to breaking the barrier. It's WEIRD the treatment of it when it has consumed so much time and the framing of the actual moment is so serious.

And I want to be clear: I am happy they kissed. I am not against this because it's two girls or anything like that. I'd criticize this no matter the gender, race, etc. of any element here because it is just flatly bad romance writing. The only parts that function are either cut off at the knees or the one part that has the characters too silent to actually harm the moment.

And I think the last thing any of us wanted for Lumity was for it to be treated like a joke.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[penguin--person]

what’s iwatex and what’s it about you’re the only person I’ve ever seen posting about it

ouhehe!!! iwatex my good friend iwatex:) iwatex stands for ' I Was A Teenage Exocolonist ' and it's one of my favourite games ever maybe. i'll try to keep this spoiler free !! tho there will be spoilers for. the intro i guess

i was a teenage exocolonist a timeloop game. you play as sol from the ages of 11-19, who grew up in space. near their 11th birthday they land on vertumna, a planet very distant from earth. the game centres around the struggles the new colony goes through as it finds its footing in this new world. you can help shape this colony, and who knows, maybe even lead it!

it also explores its timeloop mechanic very well. i cant go too much into this without going into spoiler territory, but i do like it very much. on another, unrelated note, this game can be replayed many times.

it also focuses on sols relationships with the other people of vertumna. you grow up alongside them, watch them grow, grief, laugh. a thing that i really like about iwatex is that you do not have to date any of the characters to unlock their 'max level' of friendship. you can! you'll unlock different dialogue/scenes/opportunities if you date them, but i dont think thats a flaw. i also very much like that they can just like reject you. if you give a certain character a flower and tell them "not even this flower is as beautiful as you" or smth, that negatively affects your relationship!!!! awesome.

this is them as children, as you first encounter them ingame

there are many different things you can do in iwatex. you can explore the new planet, you can rebel, you can get pets, you can grow your skills, you can affect vertumnas future !! dude you can pet your pets.

the art is also very wonderful, id say. i love the character designs. awesomes.

my favourite character is congruence:)

shes not a major character but i love her

theres many things i love about iwatex, but most of them would be spoilers. iwatex has awesome themes and has many endings and is definetely worth playing if youre thinking about it. if it sounds like your kind of game. theres a lot of reading btw its a visual novel mostly.. its also a card playing game!:) i like it. you can turn card playing off/Put it on automatic, so you dont have to play those if you dont wanna.

it has gutwrenching scenes and joyful scenes and has made me cry and has just such a wide range of things it can portray id say.. its not a perfect game id say, it has its flaws, but i like it:)!!!

hope i anwsered your quastion sufficiently, lmk if you have any more questions!!

[namidragons]

Slip My Mind (I Was a Teenage Exocolonist)

New fic! It's about delusions.

Rex would love to befriend all the new people he's meeting now that the Helios has landed on Vertumna. Unfortunately, there's one person in particular who is making it really goshdarned difficult. Pretending she doesn't know him isn't funny!

Spoilers for the Delusions storyline. The medical stuff doesn't take place on screen, but is discussed in detail, so be aware of that. (suggest reviewing the AO3 tags before reading) A/N below the cut.

The first time I played through the Delusions storyline, I was struck by the fact that after being operated on, Sol doesn't just lose access to most of the 'from a past life' options, they lose all the information from the relationships panel about their friends' likes, dislikes, birthdays, etc. I found this morbidly fascinating, given this can also include details that they learned *within this lifetime*, suggesting that the procedure severely messed up their memory in addition to everything else.

I kind of wish the storyline went slightly further, in that Sol can still actually talk about dreams and gets insomnia late in the game, and it would have been nice (in a horrible way) if that was different based on what was done to them earlier, especially since supposedly they no longer dream -at all-. At the least, it would have been very interesting if they'd have hesitated over bringing it up because of what happened in the past, or if their friends got worried that they were having a 'relapse'. idk the outcome of Delusions is probably one of the worst things that can happen to Sol in the game and it draws me in a lot because of how starkly different it is from much of the rest of the Bad Stuff (tm)

[shwoo]

I think going to the US took even more out of me than I thought. Maybe it was not being able to decompress for three weeks straight. Or eating food I probably shouldn't have, because the things not on that list are so restricted. I also took less medication than I should have, because the GP wrote the dosage kind of low on the doctor's note and I didn't notice in time to get a new one, and I was very worried about customs.

I thought I should be fine after a few days of rest, but I've been very apathetic since I got back. I eventually managed to make a doctor's appointment and increase my antidepressants, and then I... I guess I played over 80 hours of I Was A Teenage Exocolonist in the span of ten days? Not counting the time spent going through the game files for more precise information. Which was also a lot. I'd never played this game until last Thursday.

The compulsion seems to have faded now that I've finished the best-outcome, high-stat, maxed-relationship run I was trying to achieve. There's still some cards, endings, and achievements to get, and I do want to do that, but I don't have the overwhelming desire to be playing or analysing it at all times anymore.

I've obsessed over settings and characters before, but I know what that feels like, and this wasn't that. It's like I really, really wanted to solve the puzzle of how much stuff the game mechanics would let you accumulate over a single run. Turns out you can save everyone, max out their relationships, and get their best ending, and end with very high stats as well. I think the Vace therapy thing might be bugged though. I'll have to look more into that. Maybe it was janky because I triggered it from a different conversation than last time? Usually you wouldn't have his affection up high enough by that point.

But I actually feel a lot grounded and motivated than I did before, and I started feeling that way while I was still obsessing. Maybe that was what I needed to destress? A week plus of life sim minmaxing? I don't know, I'm still figuring out how my brain works. I liked and got invested in the actual fiction of the game as well, which helped. It's a good game. I recommend it. And the script files are just sitting there in plain text! I love it when developers do that.

So if I've got my mood sorted out, maybe I can figure out what's making me sick when I'm at home. Is it the dust? I bet it's the dust.

[hypnagogic-marshmallow]

🤔👻👾

(Referencing this post)

🤔 Are there any new characters you want to write about?

I forgot to mention it in the new-fandom ask someone gave me, but I think I would love to explore Nem and her relationship to the MC (forgot their name oopsies) from I was a Teenage Exocolonist because that game also consumed my soul and holy fuck, the writing is great.

After I (hopefully) finish my fanfiction behemoth, I'm hoping to get back to some original characters---an ADHD time hopper and her maybe-girlfriend-haven't-decided-but-definitely-bff. The narrative is a break from the weird genre I'm doing for this fic (which is probably just All Over the Place) so I'm looking forward to spending some time with them again!

👻 Is there a new genre you'd like to write?

Ooh, I kind of touched this with the original fiction thing above, so whatever that is. YA speculative fiction-ass something or other. Magical realism, perhaps? Light sci-fi? It's one of those emotional ouch stories with some light existentialism sprinkled in and a vague "what happened here?" I dunno, but it's definitely different from what I'm doing now!

👾 Do you have any "bad" writing habits you want to break?

I do! See, I do this fun, taboo thing called "editing as I go", and it happens a little something like this:

-Wow, I hated that scene. I need to rewrite it completely, right this very second.

-...but I know I should wait, probably! I might just be impatient and panicking over nothing.

-...but if I WAIT, I might forget the changes I want to make NOW.

-...

-*rewrites scene*

-*gets stuck in a loop of doing this for every single chapter, thus taking 2x as long to write the dang thing*

I would love to do less of that. I'm trying to tell myself that if those RIGHT NOW changes are that important, I will probably remember them later. Probably. I hope.

Thanks for the asks, these are actually firing me up to write again after a month of slogging through it!

[thessalian]

Thess vs Yet More Demos

So while I did finish the main campaign of Solasta: Crown of the Magister, I did also spend a lot of the weekend just plugging away at demos. Because my wishlist isn’t big enough. Thankfully for my bank account, most of these aren’t out yet, and a lot of them are liable to be fairly inexpensive when they are. So here’s my opinion on what I’ve spent the weekend doing.

Catizens: This one’s a weird sort of crossbreed game - social elements like The Sims, but mostly a colony creation simulator. Except with anthropomorphic cats. It’s kind of cute, and has thus gone on the wish list.

Witchy Life Story: Much like I Was A Teenage Exocolonist, I played this one until the demo ran out and then was very disappointed that there was not more game, and even more disappointed that there’s no release date. It’s a fairly Zen crafting / puzzle game with an interesting story element to it that feels a bit like Stardew Valley in its “getting to know the locals” theme, and I will just have to keep an eye out for an actual release date.

Gatcha Garden: This is an intensely Zen kind of game. It’s got a Dorfromantik feel to it in that you get random things in order to make ... well, in this case a garden, but there’s no points system or anything. It’s just, “If you don’t like it, recycle it and try again”. It’s a cute little game, and one I wouldn’t mind having just to Zen out about.

Storyteller: Not quite what I thought it was going to be, but fun anyway. It’s like that whole bit of hidden object puzzle games where some of them have the whole “tell a story by selecting the items / people in the right sequence” sections; just separated out on its own. So that sounds fun.

Common’hood: Sort of a colony sim, of sorts, but with some story elements. It’s honestly a lot better story-wise than things like Stardew Valley - while wish fulfilment of “You’ve been given a farm to get out of your dead-end job” is nice, sometimes you want the hope-punk of the more realistic “Dad died, hospital bills drained all the money, got evicted, but there’s the abandoned factory and people squatting here like me so maybe we can really make something of this” variety. Only problem? First person again. Not the kind of thing I can do to Zen out, all things considered. A maybe, but I can think of better things simply from a health perspective.

Lego Brick Tales: It’s a lot more fun than I expected it to be, though honestly, I think I prefer the Zen of following specific instructions to assemble Lego (not to mention the physical pieces) rather than trying to put together a thing on my own with a computer telling me I did it wrong. Still, the physics are pretty satisfying and the story element’s kind of cute, so it’s a maybe.

Horror Tycoon: Again, different than I expected. I thought it was just, “You’re making a theme park attraction or something and your job is to scare the people and earn money doing it”. Instead it’s “Your entire bloodline made a deal with the devil and you have to build a haunted hous that scares people to literal death and collect the souls or you immediately die and burn in hell for eternity”. So it’s a situation where you kind of have to resign yourself to losing this game if the cops turn up unless you’ve walked a very fine line. So it’s on the wishlist, but it’s going to stay on the bottom even when it does come out.

Now I have to deal with the neighbours apparently deciding that the entire fucking neighbourhood has to share their taste in music. They’re 500+ yards away and I live on an upper floor of a concrete-floored block of flats and I can feel the bassline of their shitty 70s music through the floor. So you can imagine how it sounds. I have a headache (I blame Common’hood, frankly) and I would like them to fucking stop. Instead I’ll just find something to hyperfocus past it with, I think. Could be the Lost Valley campaign of Solasta; I started that awhile ago. Or poke at my Horizon Zero Dawn NG+ game again. Or just something hidden object. Or try one of the many, many unplayed games still languishing in my Steam library. Just with the pounding of neighbours’ music, I don’t know that I could focus enough to hyperfocus on a new game at this point. Why do they have to be so fucking loud?

[thessalian]

Thess vs Demos

So Steam had a Next Fest the other week, which was basically just them hurling demos at us like confetti. So I grabbed a few and have been whittling down the list the last few days. Some big ones, some little ones, some I didn’t finish, but enough to get an idea of a few of them. So here we go, the story so far:

Tales of Arise: It was already on my wishlist at least as something that sort of piqued my interest, but this is the first chance I had to actually play it. It’s ... well, it’s exceedingly Japanese. Combat’s better than some of the later FF games, at least. It moved a ways up the wishlist on that basis but it’s still not a priority.

Disciples: Liberation: Weeeeell ... it’s quirky, combat-wise. Turn-based but trying to maintain that action feel. A bit problematic in that you can’t necessarily tell what enemies and how many you’re going to get into at any given point, at least not with how they’ve set up the demo, so you don’t necessarily know how far over your head you’re in until you do the combat. And if you have “Survive Three Rounds” combat scenarios twice in the space of a fucking demo? That says things and I’m not sure I like them. It’s still on the wishlist because I did somewhat enjoy it, but it’s going to take some getting used to.

I Was A Teenage Exocolonist: I would like it to be out right now, please. Its story is interesting in its reveal, its card-system handling of challenges didn’t put me off the way most card-related things do, and anything that manages a system by which your character can be nonbinary if you want is okay by me.

Big Ambitions: It’s a business-running sim, basically, but I didn’t get much further than “Buy a fridge for your cheap-ass apartment and then go get a job”. I figure the full game would be better than the demo but if there’s not a way to skip that first day of doing nothing between getting job and doing job, or at least more things to do in said day, that’s a stumbling block right out the gate that nobody needs.

A Building Full Of Cats: Does what it says on the tin. It’s kind of a hidden object, point and click, messing-with-the-set-dressing Zen thing that’s all about finding all the cats. I can cope with that.

Terra Nil: Meeeeeeeeeh ... I prefer Dorfromantik. It’s like Sim City with plantlife and no people.

There was another one but I basically just dismissed that as “Stardew Valley meets Jean M Auel” and moved on so I don’t remember what it was called. Something about a sacred tree but mostly about playing flutes for animals. Also a hidden object / puzzle game that I didn’t get past the a particular scenario because it was fucking annoying.

Yeah, I deleted the demos I’ve played - except for I Was A Teenage Exocolonist, which weirdly has replay value in and of itself and probably isn’t too resource-intensive on my hard drive. Those I really liked went on the wishlist; those I was okay with and were already on the wishlist stayed on the wishlist. A few didn’t really make the cut, but that’s probably just as well. My wishlist is stupid enough as it is and the priority order of it changes often.

Yaaaaaaay video games.