#I also just hate death game anime’s and didn’t know it was one of those

[superkat500]

Why doesn’t the speech boi just learn sign language?

So far JJK has such an interesting concept and such an okay execution

[la2yn0va]

Self-aware Honkai Star rail characters opinion on you being a streamer.

Characters: Acheron, Jingliu, Aventurine, Dr. Ratio

————

Acheron

“How… irritating” she said her annoyance overtaking her entire mood and body language. Being forced to be on stage for people SHE didn’t nor about NOR care about.

Why must you make her suffer like this? She loves you, with all her being. But why are you airing her out to the world.. those ‘viewers’ of yours.

And that’s another thing. How do they get to watch you? You shouldn’t make yourself a fool for such unworthy humans. Have they even offered you a thing?

“Ayyy~ thanks for the bits and 20”

….you’d allow them your gaze for a mere 20 credits? (Money) either your benevolence shines brighter, or it’s blinding you.

“Chat what do we think of Acheron? I fuckin’ love this woman, she’s SOOO fuckin’ helpful for grinding and destroying the enemies… white bar health… yeah cause that’s what it’s called…please don’t clip that…”

Acheron could feel herself blushing, so she quickly performs her idle animation, leaning against her sword trying to hide the blush and smile slowly forming on her face.

Chatter—“She’s good, but she keeps taking your attention from us :,(”

Instantly her giddiness is sucked away and locked in a coffin as utter annoyance and disdain grips her with an iron fist “Storm's on the horizon, heading towards you”

“That was perfectly fucking timed… did that sound different to anyone else?” Despite acherons slip up, that hatefulness holds her tighter, refusing to let go.

In short, She loves you-she’s OBSESSED with you. But she WILL kill these ‘viewers’ if they stary your attention away from her one more time.

Jingliu

“What makes THEM so deserving of your gaze?”

Jingliu is similar to Acheron, but tripled. Unlike Acheron, she doesn’t bother to hide her hatred for those viewers.

Chat: Yo (Streamer Name) you should-

Jingliu: Your Ready for death.

She says it like a statement and not a question. She hates these creatures who take your gaze off of her, she hates how a measly 5 credits is enough to get your attention.

Your benevolence is your best quality, but also the one that’s easily manipulated, which simply makes her despise the fact that you’re TOO kind.

Jingliu hates the fact that your a streamer more then her not being able to ‘cut the stars’ with her sword. Why must you test her loyalty like this?

Is this even a test or a punishment for her crimes? Either way, this is too cruel. Being forced in the sidelines for a bunch of people who don’t offer you anything of value.

Is her crit damage/rate not good enough for you? Are her stellar jades not of the highest quality? Perhaps her blade needs more… BLOODSHED.

Unlike Acheron, jingliu would VERY MUCH commit crimes to gain your attention. Like breaking the fourth wall, taking an enemies or allies turn to attack, KILLING her allies so that your attention would be on her completely.

In short, she’s a much more blunt and unrestrained Acheron.

Aventurine

“Such Troublesome detractors…”

Out of everyone in the game, he’s definitely the most laid back about your occupation. Mostly due to his luck.

Course he’s annoyed that some no-named randoms are taking the attention from his god off of him for seconds, but it’s really nothing.

It’s extremely lucky that the characters haven’t killed him out of jealousy (see what I did there?) This fuckin’ Avgin gets the most attention thanks to his kit and luck.

Y/n: Thanks for the Dono-

Aventurine: Eyes on me~

Y/n: Ooo~ yes sir~

Aventurine has a UNIVERSAL shit-eating grin while others are glaring death incarcerated soul-sucking daggers into him.

Aventurine would probably join in on the thanks if a viewer sends you money/bits/cheers n’ shit.

Not much to really say here, he’s just laid back to the whole thing.

Dr. Veritas Ratio

“Stop this nonsense. Immediately”

Dr. Raito fuckin growls anytime everytime you boot up the game, cause he knows 99.9% of the time your going to be joined by those brainless viewers.

He’s completely baffled as to why a being such as yourself would degraded yourself to such… idiocy.

There’s only two possible reasons as to why you’d commit such acts. 1. Your benevolence blinds your logical reasoning, 2. You… enjoy it.

Dr. Ratio’s opinion on the viewers is that their brainless insects, he doesn’t even care enough to be annoyed by them, they’re just THAT low level of importance to him.

Y/n: Hey “Streamer Name” who’s your favorite character?

Dr. Ratio: Do you have answers?

Y/n: I- that was perfectly timed.. DO infact have answers. It’s (anyone that isn’t him)

Dr. Ratio: Fail… Get Out!

(If it is him)

Dr. Ratio: Perfect… Twenty Points.

————

What we thinking about this one chat?

[anidiotonloose]

You can NOT convince me that the only thing in Till’s mind during R6 was Mizi and her missing status

Ive seen so many posts and reels saying how he was “so depressed during the 6th round because of Mizi and was ready to die without her in his life”.

WRONG

You’re telling me he’s ready to give up his life solely for the reason that his idol and his friend is most probably dead while the closest person in his life is put in a death game against himself in which only one can live?

Till was concerned about Mizi, very much too if I say so myself, but Ivan was also one of those concerns.

When Mizi lost the round against Luka, you could see the way Till looks at her - he was heartbroken. And then she went missing and who knows what happened to her. He was horrified, of course he was, she was his light, his sun, his idol, his hope, his everything. That doesn’t mean she was his only source of misery.

At the end of the all-in animation, we see Till punching the screen where his image is shown to compete against Ivan. He hated the fact that he would have to compete against Ivan, his best friend, the closest person to him in all of Anakt garden. Even though their relationship has been tumultuous, Ivan was still his closest link. Heck, when they were not fighting or bickering Till genuinely seemed to enjoy Ivan’s presence.

At the end of round 3 as Ivan is close to finishing his singing (and i must confess i saw this in a reel on instagram) we can see Till is conscious - with a serene expression too - and his collar has a very clear green light - indicating his mood is, well, good.

That light had NO reason to glow green considering Till was bleeding a lot.

But it was.

The only reason i can come up with is that Till was comforted by/liked Ivan’s voice, so much so that the pain of the wounds on his head was overshadowed by Ivan. Till did care.

and then he finds out he’s supposed to go against Ivan in round 6. What a joke. His idol was gone and they wanted to take away his (his what? Friend? Best friend? Enemy? Universe? Wait what-) too?

He weighed his options and decided his life was just not worth it without Mizi and Ivan in them. Both Mizi. And. Ivan. If Mizi was his sun then Ivan was his moon.

that was the plan anyway before Ivan said nope and sacrificed himself. Now that rekindled a fire in Till, a fire that had gone missing with Mizi and was supposed to die with him before Ivan thwarted his plans, a fire to give his best and to live, for Ivan. Not Mizi, Ivan, because Ivan gave his life for Till and oh Till could now see everything Ivan was in his life (his god, his universe—), Ivan who could have won against Luka at any given time, Ivan who showed him freedom and at last, Ivan who was his everything.

ahem. Point is y’all stop saying Till never cared about Ivan he loved him just as dearly as Mizi its just neither of them knew how to express their emotions in a healthy way and didn’t realise their true feelings since they never experienced normal and healthy human interaction

[sewerpalette]

Little rant I might make a video out of:

Edit: disclaimer I wrote this directly after waking up so it’s very awkwardly paced and hard to read I’m so sorry.

AL-AN is not a good person, now I’ll start this off with saying that I looove his character, especially before the rewrite and this certainly isn’t an attack on anyone, just something I’d like to point out because I think the shift of perspective between both games is fascinating.

If anyone remembers the subnautica fandom before Below zero was even remotely announced, there were certain opinions flying around, people believed the architects to be the grand villain(s) in the bigger picture of the game lore for just how messed up they were, they literally hated those guys for being at fault of the sea emperors suffering and there were even theories going around that they made the kharaa to wipe out all other life around them- but it had went wrong.

But now it’s not like that anymore, no AL‘s previous actions are completely ignored because he showed some remorse for being responsible for the deaths of 7 architects specifically, together with messing up before pretty much an audience of billions, it must’ve been embarrassing- but when he apologizes he specifically only mentions the other architects, because he isn’t sorry for the other things he’s done, clearly. I mean dissecting a fetus is one thing, especially with their goal in mind, DISPLAYING it is another, like that’s just purposely gruesome. Together with all the other dissected experimented on animals in the shelves just hung up like prizes (I know the concept itself is not inhumane, but in this case it just wasn’t necessary.) also research specimen THETA anyone? Yeah we know it didn’t die because of the facility collapsing because there’s no injury displayed on its bones that would suggest that, and that part of the facilities insides also didn’t collapse, they just left it there until it either succumbed to the virus or starved to death, same with the sea emperor but they survived, kept alive by unfinished business for the next couple thousand years. Not to mention who the fuck comes up with a quarantine program that includes semi sentient killer machines and a giant gun made to shoot anything down from atmosphere, there were so many better solutions, I get the warper thing, I mean kill anything that’s infected makes sense, but the gun?? Literally why, if they send a signal through the network that this planet is diseased nobody is going to go there (we know that at that point humans weren’t advanced enough to travel space and they knew that so for who was that even for??) it was completely unnecessary to create a giant weapon in wich even more destructive weapons are stored wich let me get into that real quick because there’s also some implied stuff there, appearently AL was so desperate to get rid of his mistake that he attempted to blow up a doomsday device?? (Which would’ve destroyed most of the solar system in an instant.) In the entry it says it malfunctioned so they must’ve tried to use it, and even if they didn’t why would they have it on them anyways? Including all the other weapons. Also let’s talk about the architects in the little sanctuaries in the first game, it’s implied they stored multiple souls in like one of them, literally cramped up all their data whilst AL stored himself in a big ass sanctuary like idk man that’s kind of an asshole move. And those were just the first game events! (And there’s probably even more there.)

In BZ he can’t really do anything except for talk to robin because he doesn’t have a physical form, so there’s less to go off here but even then it didn’t seem like there were other sanctuaries in BZ for the other architects. and sure, you could make the arguement that architects don’t feel at all connected to their physical forms, wich is true, but don’t you think seeing a dead architects body, an architect from his team, a colleague, would illicit some kind of emotion from him beyond “great, now fetch me their skin.” (/j) even if he doesn’t see the attachment to the vessel, if it’s all that’s left from that time and from the crew, there would still be projected attachment onto it realistically. Also he was smart enough to hide himself from alterra because he guessed they didn’t have good intentions- scraping himself off the grid both physically and on any radars they had (presumably with hallucinations), but wasn’t smart enough to distract the critters running around infront of the sanctuary to idk get the help he needed with the failing sanctuary from the mercury, marg, or the alterrans that genuinely wanted to help instead of being eaten by sharks right infront of it.

Like man I love you but that’s just messed up.

And we know he knows he messed up, that’s why he’s so gloomy and does attempt to apologize at the end but like??? He said he wanted to make amends to his people showing that he still doesn’t care about everybody else he hurt, only those he deems as important, not the over 150 people that died on the aurora or the mercury or the degasi or the sunbeam or the research specimens or even the alterrans he’s indirectly caused death to, it is all his fault but he doesn’t see these people as important because he feels they are below him - sure you could make the arguement that he didn’t know about the ships that crashed, fair point. But seemingly he did if he could sense that alterra was there without even seeing alterrans in the first place, especially because Ryley has made contact with the thermal plant and other architect tech before, so he’d definitely know- especially based on the data robin has of the missing sunbeam and aurora incident on her PDA wich he has canonically said he read through.

And I’ll say it again I love AL, next to Bart he’s probably my favorite subnautica character in the whole game series, but I don’t like the portrayel of him suddenly being completely redeemed or being an inherently good person, he still doesn’t understand empathy or morals (you can be a good person without having those, don’t get me wrong.) and acts like a total idiot whilst victimizing himself, like yes, the other architects on the mission died and it’s his fault, they weren’t stored to keep him company and that’s his fault; neither did they like him, wich is very fair in my opinion. He can’t pull all this crap, disobey orders and get everybody killed and then pull the “but I’m sad about it so that erases everything I’ve done” like oh my god. I like him, but I would also like more content showing all this.

Sorry this was a very long kinda pointless rant and I don’t have any images because my phone which has like a whole folder of these is at home and we’re still stuck in England so it’ll have to do without for now.

TLDR: I want more morally dubious AL please and also he killed a fetus (well pretty much borderline newborn at that point) so he’s going into the fictional child murderer category for me.

[hana-no-seiiki]

...... I want to know more about fenrir. I've known about him for three minutes but I want to smooch him so badly.

Fenrir is very much a dog. His real name is only known to you. And to those that didn’t read the previous Cat Villain! Reader post (shame on you lol no jk it’s been like a minute since that one) he’s one of your villain fuckbuddies.

Very much enemies to partners in crime. He used to hate your ass and would chase you around the neighborhood. And even when you two first partnered up it was basically the funny man / straight man dynamic wherein he’d keep your head in the game during heists.

But once you two hit it off he basically became your dog. He particularly fell in love with your kindness. The fact that you sacrifice and risk your freedom and everything you know just to give to those less fortunate.

He can be a bit radical/extreme. He will very much go to hell and back for you, but expects you to use his actions in a way that benefits others.

You met prior to Jason’s death and while you were dating Nightwing so it was also vv much platonic back then.

But then it turned romantic after shit hit the fan and you went insane.

He basically became your stress toy as you tried your damn hardest to look for Jason/bring him back to the land of the living.

You two are friends first though. So a lot of inside jokes, bickering, and fist bumps every heist or attempt to troll the vigilantes/heroes. (See; CV! Reader being every Robin’s Cherry Popper)

He can turn into a massive wolf and is usually the first line of defense against the vigilantes that try to stop you.

He hates being collared or treated like a doggy and had once bitten off a policeman’s hand for cooing at him. But the moment you call him your pup he’s on his knees.

Please smooch him, he needs more of your attention fr fr.

He eats a lot. You have to set aside a portion of your “earnings” to satiate the man’s void of a stomach. Dude is unapologetically feral when it comes to his precious sustenance. Surprisingly open to vegetables despite his whole canine thing.

Annddd lastly, he used to be a full on vigilante/hero before you two got close. Worked specifically with investigators to track down high profile criminals.

WAIT WAIT - ALSO- he likes to wear puffy/oversized/warm clothing mostly cause he wants to lend them to you for use whenever it gets cold in gotham. otherwise man’s got you covered with a fan, umbrella, and sunblock. He’s basically a personal assistant and he often fights for that spot with Tim.

He hates Tim. And everyone else but you. But he has a sort of rivalry/vendetta against Timmy boi.

(Ironically, he fights the most with Damian. Powers and what Damian does for animals aside, Fenrir just hates the dude’s blunt personality and tends to bicker a lot with him if not fully getting violent)

“I’m yours to use as you wish.”

Pssst also here’s an old sketch of him that I should really work on lol (these are just doodles of my dc universe ocs dont mind the other two characters)

[cryingpariah]

Loki the accursed princes hates all of Elbaf and all of Elbaf hates him in return.

Well... almost everyone. And I'm not just talking about Mosa.

He hasn't laid eyes on anything in six years, but he can pick up on haki traces with the precision of a bloodhound. This presence doesn't feel like a giant. He's also not sensing any malicious intent. That's her mistake then.

"Old lady! You've chosen a bad place to totter around in your senility. I may not be able to kill you myself, but you won't survive the beasts who roam the Underworld"

"Do you mean your animal friends who I saw on my way over? It's kind of you to worry, but I gave them some bread and corn earlier and they seemed quite content with that."

How DARE she call him kind?! And how could she have possibly tamed his friends so easily?

"You must think yourself very clever. Clearly you're a stranger to this island, else you would not be so flippant when addressing me"

"I know who you are, your highness. But you are right about me being new to this country. As such, I wanted to offer you this"

He can hear her place something on a nearby rock. That smell... no, it couldn't. How the hell could she possibly know...?!

"Am I right to assume you're still fond of herring and pumpkin pie? Honestly, trying to get that out of the other giants was like pulling walrus teeth"

"So is that your game, then? You play the part of a charitable holy mother and present me treats laced with poison?" He grins his usual shark grin "How diabolical! That's something I should have thought up in my youth when pranking those gullible giants!"

"Dear, I respect my cooking far too much to ever spoil it with something as ridiculous as poison. I just figured that it's been too long since you've had a proper meal. Scavenged meat and fruits are all well and good, but variety does a body better in the long run."

His smile wanes.

"If you think it's that simple to win over a god, you are sorely mistaken. Don't think your alms will spare you once I break free! At best, you will not be the first crushed under my boot as I rain down hell upon this world!"

"Well," she says in a tone of voice somewhere between self-satisfied and blunt "At least we're making some progress. I won't tell you to finish your meal right away, but you should probably tuck in before the birds get to it. See you tomorrow, Prince Loki. I'll see if I can bring you some quilts for your legs"

"Tomorrow? You presume to treat venturing into the Underworld like a walk in the park?? You treat a god like he's nothing more than a squirrel to feed peanuts to???? Hey! I'm talking to you, you old bat!"

Soon all he's left with is the howling wind and his own furious thoughts.

Who did that.... human (?) think she was?

Although...

The pie did smell quite good.

(Urpi not believing the rhetoric about Loki being wicked from birth because she's already seen that shit before with the World Government and becomes his secret grandma)

As that old lady promised, she was back the next day with quilts. He had sternly instructed his beasts to tear her limb from limb and yet she returned very unharmed. How…intriguing.

“Hello again Dear Prince.”

“I am no one’s dear ANYTHING! I can't tell if you’re just a stubborn old fool or have a death wish! Returning after you were cast out by royalty!”

The impertinent woman didn’t respond, just simply began placing soft fur after soft fur upon him.

“Tell me, how did you get past my beasts this time? They were to destroy you.”

“Is that what they were doing? I don’t feel very destroyed right now Your Highness.”

Loki grits his teeth. Who did this lady think she is? She shouldn’t be able to walk so brazenly into the Underworld, she shouldn’t be able to converse with him so easily and she ESPECIALLY shouldn’t be so good at cooking!!

“Did you enjoy the meal from yesterday?”

“HAH! Your paltry offering barely made the cut to be eaten by a beggar! You’re quite full of yourself indeed if you think it would satisfy me!”

“The plates you licked clean seem to state otherwise, dear prince.”

When was the last time someone said something like that to him? He couldn’t remember the last time someone had managed to make him flush with embarrassment. In all honesty he couldn’t remember the first.

“But if that’s truly how you feel, I shall give today's portion to someone else.”

“Well let’s not be too hasty..”

He could feel her lips turn up higher. “Are you certain? We wouldn’t want my beggar quality food to hurt your royal stomach.”

Loki sighed, long and bemoaning. “I was just teasing old woman! The food was excellent.”

This..Whatever she was stopped and placed what he would later come to find out was more herring, fresh baked bread, vegetables and pumpkin pie.

“What did you intend to gain from these acts? I will not grant my favour upon you.”

“I do not ask for any favour.”

“You will be cast out from the other foolish giants.”

“I cannot control how they feel or act.”

“You…Is this just old mortal sentimentality? Is that what this is?”

“Partly yes you are right. It wouldn’t sit right with my soul to leave the young to their own devices.”

“I am centuries older than you but you are wise to see my form knows no age.”

She chuckled. He..got this mysterious someone to laugh? How…unexpected.

“In any case Prince Loki my reasoning is of no concern. Let’s just say..I don’t believe this unless I see it for myself.”

She walked off for real this time, flippantly calling over her shoulder that she’d return soon. Loki decided in that moment that he’d let this woman dote on him, it was how he should be treated to begin with after all! Plus she was full of her own secrets and he had been sorely lacking in entertainment recently…

[captainremmington-13]

A Lady Made of Snow

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own The Hunger Games franchise, the images above, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, or any of the characters in this fic other than Bellova.

SUMMARY: Bellova begins to notice how dedicated Coriolanus is to helping his tribute, which greatly displeases her. But her anger at the young Snow is temporarily forgotten about when one of her classmates dies in her arms. (i’m using a combination of the movie and book version of the events that occur in this chapter)

Warnings: spoilers for TBOSAS, death, mentions of violent urges, mentions of blood, crying, one swear word

Bellova sighed inwardly, drawing a rose with a fountain pen on her notebook where she was supposed to be writing down Dean Highbottom’s words. The lecture was pointless in her opinion. She knew everything the dean was talking about by heart, and she was alive when the events being discussed were occurring. 

She would never admit it to him, but she wished Coriolanus hadn’t skipped class to accompany his tribute. It was unusual for him, the star student, to miss a lecture, even one of Highbottom’s. The competition between them made the dean’s nonsensical ramblings almost bearable.

Then, as if on cue, a breathless and sweaty Coriolanus burst into the lecture hall. All eyes turned to him, shocked at his disheveled appearance.

“Your little excursion was in violation of about five different Academy rules, Mr. Snow. Chief amongst them, endangering a Capitol student,” Dean Highbottom said, not looking up from his papers. 

“What?” Coriolanus said, baffled. “Who?”

“You.” Highbottom’s response made Bellova roll her eyes. He was constantly looking for reasons to target the young Snow. “I’m moving for the Gamemakers to disqualify you as mentor immediately.”

“You said we had to get our tributes to perform, not that we had to stay away,” Coriolanus argued, standing at his seat next to Bellova but not sitting down.

“I’ll add insubordination as well,” the dean said smugly.

“Holding her hand, Coryo? Introducing her to people?” Arachne said, clearly disgusted. “You make it look as if we’re one and the same as those animals.”

Bellova couldn’t help but agree silently with her. She hated that Coriolanus had done so much to promote Lucy Gray, even going so far as to touch her. Had he forgotten that he was of the purest Capitol blood, only fit to associate with those who also held that status?

“Coriolanus didn’t show those people anything they didn’t already know.”

Bellova had to grip her textbook to refrain from throwing something at the young Plinth. He was being foolish, saying such things in the presence of the dean and the other mentors.

“I don’t need your help, Sejanus,” Coriolanus snapped.

“That the tributes are human beings. Just like us,” Sejanus continued. “That’s why nobody wants to watch the Games. It’s because people know deep down that winning a war ten years ago doesn’t justify starving people’s children, taking away their freedoms, their rights.”

“Shut up, Sejanus, please,” Bellova murmured through gritted teeth.

Suddenly, Dr. Gaul appeared, startling many of the mentors. Bellova looked at her, setting down her fountain pen.

“Snow fell down in the cage,” she began, smiling crookedly. “It fell down in the cage but it landed…”

“On stage,” Coriolanus finished.

The doctor grinned with delight. “You’re good at games. Maybe one day, you’ll be a Gamemaker like me.”

“If the Games continue at all,” Highbottom added.

“Oh, they’ll continue. With performances like young Mr. Snow’s in that zoo. And I came here to ask your star mentor a question: what are The Hunger Games for?”

This sparked an argument between Dr. Gaul, Highbottom, Coriolanus, and Sejanus. Bellova listened, intrigued. This was the most interesting thing that had happened during one of Highbottom’s lectures since the time Persephone and Arachne almost ripped each other’s heads off over a petty dispute. 

Coriolanus then proposed an idea, about making the games more “personal” for Capitol citizens. 

“We need them to invest,” he said. “And if we bend a few Capitol laws, we could even have them place bets. Look, I know Lucy Gray may not win in the arena. But if you give her a chance, I would bet the Plinth Prize that she can win people’s attention.”

Dr. Gaul looked at him. “I’d like you to write up a proposal of these thoughts tonight, Mr. Snow.”

“Wait,” Clemensia Dovecote spoke up. “You mean you might actually use his ideas?”

“If it’ll help the ratings, why not?” Dr. Gaul responded.

“Coriolanus and I are class partners, Dr. Gaul,” Clemensia said hastily. “We do all of our assignments together.”

‘Someone’s desperate for approval,’ Bellova thought, giving Clemensia a brief look of annoyance.

Dr. Gaul laughed, sending a visible chill through many of the mentors. “It’ll be an interesting test.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the lecture ended, the mentors went straight to the cafeteria. They were buzzing with excitement at the idea that Dr. Gaul may listen to their suggestions. Having an idea approved by her could do wonders for their future careers.

Bellova stood in line holding a tray, eyeing the mint chocolate fudge in the dessert section. She loved mint. It reminded her of wintertime, her favorite season.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Coriolanus tapping her on the shoulder. 

“What do you want?” she asked.

Coriolanus scoffed. “Your perfect manners never cease to amaze me.”

Bellova sneered. “Funny. Now get to the point.”

“I’m going to sneak some food out of here and give it to Lucy Gray at the Zoo. I was wondering if you’d like to come with me. You haven’t met your tribute yet, after all.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, putting a few slices of bread on her plate. “Breaking the rules again? After Highbottom just threatened to write you up for insubordination?”

“You were the one who told me to do anything it takes to succeed.”

“Fair enough,” she sighed. “Fine, I’ll come with you. I’ll give my tribute some bread while we’re there.”

Coriolanus smirked. “Who’s breaking rules now?”

Bellova gave him a look. “I’ll see you at the Zoo, Coryo.” With that, she grabbed a stack of mint chocolate fudge slices and walked off to join her friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that afternoon, Coriolanus, Bellova, and a handful of the other mentors met up at the Capitol Zoo. They immediately made their way to the monkey exhibit, where the tributes were being held. Nodding at the Peacekeepers surrounding the area, they stood inches away from the bars keeping them separated from the district children.

Bellova scanned the exhibit and eventually spotted her tribute in the corner. “Velvereen!” she called. The girl made her way over to the bars, looking at Bellova warily.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“I’m your mentor, Bellova. Here, I brought some bread for you.” She held out the napkin to Velvereen, who took it instantly. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to visit earlier. I have a busy schedule.”

Velvereen said nothing, focusing on wolfing down the bread. 

“So,” Bellova continued. “Have you talked to any of the other tributes?”

“Not besides Facet,” she said, pointing to the male District 1 tribute. “Oh, and the singer girl. The one with the strange dress.”

Bellova glanced over at Lucy Gray, who was talking very intimately with Coriolanus. She fought back a look of irritation. Lucy Gray was certainly a spectacle, but she was clearly deranged. She couldn’t understand why Coriolanus was so fascinated with her, other than her extremely strange behavior. 

“I see,” Bellova said. “Well, I promise to visit more often if I can. My advice to you is to make allies. The more that you have, the better your chance of survival is.” 

Velvereen nods. “I know. That’s what my father told me.” 

Bellova gave her a small smile. “It’s good to know that you have a basic understanding of strategy.”

She looked to her left, and saw Arachne taunting her tribute with a glass bottle. “Arachne!“ she hissed. “What the hell are you doing?“

“Shut up, Bellova!” Arachne snapped. “Mind your own business.”

“Fine!” Bellova snapped back. She and Velvereen continued discussing the Games. She was thankful that her tribute was willing to converse, unlike several, who refused to interact with their mentors. But as much as she tried to focus on her tribute, she felt her eyes wander to Coriolanus and Lucy Gray, who seemed to be enjoying each other’s company. It seemed as if her odd charms were beginning to rub off on the young Snow as well. If she hadn’t been surrounded by so many Capitol citizens, she would’ve been tempted to grab Lucy Gray by the hair and slam her head against the metal bars of the enclosure. 

Her violent fantasy was abruptly halted by a chorus of screams. 

Brandy, Arachne’s tribute, had grabbed her mentor by the neck and snatched the bottle from her. “Help!” Arachne shrieked, trying desperately to escape her grasp. Before anyone could do anything, Brandy smashed the bottle against the metal bars of the cage, and used the serrated edge to stab her in the neck. 

“No, no, no!” Coriolanus screamed, rushing towards Arachne, who lay on the ground, convulsing in pain as the crowd screamed frantically around them. He gathered the girl in his arms, putting his hand to her throat, trying to stop the blood flow. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Hold on. Hold on!”

Arachne gasped for air, blood oozing from her neck. Bellova crouched down at her side, turning her head to face her.  “Hey, look at me. Hey, hold on! It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ll get help, I promise.” 

“Somebody help us, please!” Coriolanus yelled at the crowd. 

Chaos erupted, making the whole scene a blur. Brandy was shot by Peacekeepers, falling to the ground with a thud. The other tributes were screaming wildly, ducking away to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. 

Coriolanus and Bellova were eventually dragged away from Arachne, who was lifted onto a stretcher. They were escorted by Peacekeepers out of the Zoo and back onto Academy grounds. Once inside a quiet hallway, they collapsed onto the ground side by side, finally able to process what had just happened.

Bellova, who almost never showed any emotion besides smugness, anger, or contempt in Coriolanus’s presence, began to cry. Her head swam with terror and disgust, the sight of Arachne’s slit throat burned into her mind. She was never close to the girl, she found her to be shallow and hated her whining. But they had grown up together. She was part of the Capitol’s finest, meaning they had attended several events together over the years and visited each other’s homes regularly. And now, she was gone. 

“I should’ve done more to stop her,” she said, voice trembling uncontrollably. “She was being stupid, and I just let her keep doing it! Her blood is on my fucking hands! It’s all my fault!”

“Don’t blame yourself,” Coriolanus spoke up. “Blame the district girl. She was the one who did it.” 

“I know, I know,” Bellova cried, black mascara running down her face, ruining her perfect face of makeup. “But she’s dead too. I can’t even avenge Arachne by killing her. There’s nothing I can do.”

Coriolanus, who had finally stopped shaking, pulled Bellova into his side gently. He put his arm around her, rubbing soothing circles on her shoulder. “You’re safe now. This won’t ever happen again, the Capitol will tighten security tenfold.”

Without thinking, Bellova leaned into Coriolanus’s grasp. He patiently let her cry into his shoulder, while he tried to help steady her breathing. The two young students clung to each other, forgetting all of their past grievances in that moment. 

When they finally pulled away, they looked at each other, as if they were stunned at their own actions. Neither of them were affectionate towards each other, or affectionate people in general. Yet here they were, sitting on the cold marble floor of the Academy, comforting each other. 

Bellova cleared her throat. “We should probably get out of here. Let the administrators know that we’re going home early.” 

Coriolanus nodded, standing up and holding out his hand to help her up. Bellova took it, smiling ever-so slightly. 

“Thank you,” she said quietly. 

“Of course,” Coriolanus replied. 

They informed the staff that they’d be departing early. Nobody tried to stop them, understanding that they’d just been through a traumatic event. They walked down the steps of the Academy’s main building, standing near the curb.

Finally, Bellova broke the silence. “Let me take you back to your apartment. My driver will be here any minute.” Before Coriolanus could protest, she said, “You’re in no condition to walk that far. I know you always say you walk to and from school to clear your mind, but just let me do this for you. Please?”

“Fine,” Coriolanus said reluctantly. 

As they sat in the back of Bellova’s chauffeur’s car, neither of them said a word to each other. The death of Arachne had clearly rattled them both to the core, but they couldn’t bring themselves to talk about it. It still all felt like a nightmare. 

Bellova took a small compact and handkerchief out of her bag, using the cloth to wipe away the black stains her tears had left behind. She pressed some foundation over it, erasing any evidence of a breakdown. 

Coriolanus watched her, realizing that he’d likely never see her this vulnerable again. He was still surprised that she didn’t slap him for embracing her. They certainly had a unique relationship. Often times they were at each other’s throats, occasionally they exchanged words of advice and encouragement. But nevertheless, he didn’t want to see her so hurt. She was…a friend? A companion? Something other than a stranger, for sure. 

They pulled up outside of Coriolanus’s apartment complex, and Bellova’s driver opened the door for him. 

Coriolanus turned to Bellova, who was staring down at her hands. “Thank you for the ride. I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it,” Bellova said, looking up to give him a small smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Coryo.”

“See you tomorrow, Bellova.”

And with one last nod, Coriolanus shut the door behind him, returning to his run-down apartment where Tigris and Grandma’am were waiting.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

TAGLIST: @daenerysqueenofhearts, @squidscottjeans, @euphemiaamillais, @gracieroxzy

Author’s Note: This chapter was a lot longer than the last one lolll I really liked writing this part because things become a lot more intense. Let me know in the comments what you think and if you’d like to be tagged!

[braveheartstoryteller]

I see you write essays for KH all the time and I love seeing your thoughts!!! So KH for the ask game? :D

These were tougher to answer than I thought, so I took my time thinking about them. I don't know if any of my answers are that insightful, but these are my thoughts anyway!

the character i least understand

Master of Masters, seriously what is with that guy? I’d imagine that is the point. 

interactions i enjoyed the most

I absolutely love brotherly and sisterly relationships, so you know what I have to say: Sora and Riku. I love those two so much. Riku was who drew me to the series in the first place (I heard about his arc and I knew I had to check the series out) and Sora was who I stayed for. 

the character who scares me the most

Scares me is a strong word. None of the characters scare me, even in the various worlds the characters visit. However there is one monster that gives me the creeps which are the Cy-bugs from KHUX. Anything bug like will usually give me the creeps because I really don’t like bugs.

Overall the cutout type animation from KHUX and Dark Road, makes the heartless feel rather more icky to me than the console games, and more than one of them I find a little creepy.

the character who is mostly like me

While there are many characters I relate to in KH (one of the reasons I love the story so much), it is probably Kairi. Not just because she’s a girl either. That combination of spunk and gentleness sort of fits rather well. Just don’t get on my bad side--

hottest looks character

I’m going to be cliched and say Lea/Axel. Especially since I’d imagine that was the "point" of his character. At least at first. (Can you tell I really don't think about these things much?)

one thing i dislike about my fave character

I’ve actually never been a fan of Sora’s spiky hair, nor the colors of his clothing. Yeah, those are all visual, and I don’t care too much. But it’s all I got. 

one thing i like about my hated character

You mean a character I dislike? I have a few. They all mesh together at this point. I mean with all those robes can you tell the members of the organization apart in KH2? But I digress, one comment I’ll make is I like Marluxia’s pink hair though it really doesn’t suit him at all.

a quote or scene that haunts me

I’m going to do a quote, since there are too many scenes that fit that question. It’s in Toy Box and said by Young Xehanort:

"Your friends are your power"? Ah... How very true. But if the light of friendship is a form of power... the darkness of being alone is a power... even greater.

The fact that Sora is left speechless over these words has left me with that pesky "what if" question ever since.

a death that left me indifferent

(What is death in KH?) If we go with an actual death (where they will probably stay dead) I would say Xehanort. For whatever reason they tried to make us empathize with the guy, especially with Dark Road. But I don’t buy it. Seriously, this guy wanted to meet these friends of his from his memories, then after he finally found one, he proceeds to tore one of then apart literally. So, yeah it was "about time" in a way.

a character i wish died but didn’t

I discovered it is really hard to find a character who hasn't "died" in some way in this series. So I'm going with some who didn't stay dead.

Ansem and Xemnas. Rehashing characters just isn't that fun. Less work yes, but boring. It is partly why the whole "keyblade war" in KH3 feels like a really tired storyline. It might seem to work on paper, but not so great in execution. 

Honorable mention: Player. A second lifetime, just doesn’t ring true to me, even if it sort of makes sense with KH.

my ship that never sailed

I’m not really a "shipper." I usually just go with whatever is in canon and leave it at that. If I had anything I’d say Riku/Naminé. 

...

And there it is done and dusted! I hope you enjoyed Sparrow! Also, this ask wasn't the only one I got for KH (what comes from posting so much KH I suppose!) so @sailforvalinor here's your answer!

[smilesrobotlover]

skord skord?

Ah yes, another overhated Zelda game that is in my top three. I’ve played this game on the switch and I will say, it’s so much better than the Wii, so if you haven’t played it yet, try to play it on the switch.

Anyways this is one of the few video games that have made me cry. The story is so good and it makes me SUPER emotional. The Link is probably one of the few Links with so much personality poured into him, his relationship with Zelda is super sweet and fun, and the characters and world of skyloft is incredible. The side quests for gratitude crystals is not only wholesome but gets you closer with the residents, so it feels like an island where you grew up with these people. There’s so much to do in this game and I just… AGH I adore it to DEATH.

Groose is easily one of the best characters in Zelda with his incredible development. He’s so complex and insecure about himself and seeing him work through his issues in the game and become good friends with Link is so incredibly wholesome to me. Impa is a strict but sexy awesome character who’s entire story and character is insane to me.

And Fi… she is such an overhated character. Link in this story is super animated and full of personality meanwhile Fi is cold and distant, and these two complement each other so well. And even though she seems to lack personality, she has some moments here and there where she’s being a character, and those moments are amazing. Her saying goodbye to Link affected me more than Midna because you could just feel the bittersweetness. This character is with you through every game with the master sword. And despite not feeling emotions, Fi was happy with Link, and she truly cared about him, just like he cares about her. And I sob everytime. I love Fi she’s one of my favorite companions ever and I wish she wasn’t hated on so much because she doesn’t deserve it.

And let’s not forget Ghirahim, one of my fav characters of all time. He’s such a fascinating and well written villain who rivals Link perfectly! And most bosses in this game are relatively easy to me. But Ghirahim is one of the few bosses that is very hard. He’s not one of those villains that talk a lot of crap and then die in five seconds. He’s a challenge! You’re definitely inexperienced and he’s clearly just toying with you in the beginning! He actually works hard against you in this game instead of sitting around, and the final battle with him, he is truly giving his all, regretting not killing you in the beginning. When he said “what are you?” To Link after being defeated is INCREDIBLE. There was actually a character analysis about him and Groose so I really can’t talk about their characters without talking for five years lol. But yeah, Ghirahim is a GOOD character. And he actually succeeds in what he’s doing! He revives his master! That’s how you know that he’s a genuine threat! Gosh he’s so good

Now for the flaws, alas. The sky isn’t the best? The loftwings are underutilized (Link’s loftwing isn’t even named :/), the world is very small and limited (except for Lanayru, they put all their good ideas into there fr), and there’s a lot of fluff. Like hunting down the song of the hero is just unnecessary to me. Faron is an idiot for not trusting you despite saving her life, then Eldin is just, completely forgettable, and Lanayru is fine. I just don’t like the song of the hero part that much. But of course when you unlock it, that cut scene is incredible.

Another thing is Demise. He sucks. He’s such a boring character to me and he’s way too easy as a final boss fight. Like you see Ghirahim giving his all and then demise just dies immediately 💀💀 but the final boss is the most cinematic boss fight ever so that def is a plus. And I also don’t like the introduction of Hylia. She makes the lore so much more boring and confusing and I wish she didn’t exist. Same thing with demise. Having them there was… a choice that was made and doesn’t answer any questions about Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf. Heck, Ganondorf really shouldn’t be included with them. Sure he’s a reoccurring villain, but he’s the same guy everytime, he’s never reincarnated like Link and Zelda. Unless you want to count that as Ganon but I don’t like that whole idea. Idk, it complicates the lore a bit and I can understand why people didn’t like that.

But otherwise a fantastic game that impacted me SO much.

[remremsies]

Gang I’ve been gone for a while again I’m so sorry😔

I decided to come back and show y’all my OC who I’ll use while playing Our life now&forever!

Soo first I should warn you that there will be mild mentions of mental health issues and SH‼️ If these things trigger you, please skip my STEP 2 text or do not read this at all. It isn’t anything big, but I don’t want anyone to feel anxious while reading this🫶

Here it starts (I apologize for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language)

Her name is Rosemary Salmonbay and some might say her surname is silly, but it’s a literal translation of my own surname! I love it, hehe. So, Rosemary is heavily inspired of my own life and almost just me. I made Rosemary a long time ago to make little stories that were inspired of my life and just as a way to cope. But she’s not 100% me either, because that would make me feel uncomfortable lmao.

I used picrew‼️ This is Toon Me!

STEP 1:

Rosemary is an awkward, shy and silly kid. An outcast, kind of. She’s very into anime, games and drawing. At first not very talkative and finds new people scary, but once you get closer to her she becomes very loud and energetic.

Rosemary enjoys playing outside with dolls, especially Monster High dolls and even dressing up as these characters. She likes drawing them a lot and making new outfits for them. Usually her doll plays are enspired by the games and animes she enjoyed.

She liked games that many other kids didn’t back then, such as Ib. Animes she watched were Ouran High School Host Club and Death Note.

As you can notice from the picture, she didn’t have much fashion sense because she just wore whatever felt comfortable and looked cool. Shirts with Mickey Mouse, Youtube merch and galaxy print.

Rosemary has tried many sports to have at least one hobbie, but nothing really fit her. Football was her favorite though. Rosemary was more into videogames and YouTube.

Moving to a new place made her very nervous but hopeful that she would make friends who wouldn’t judge her too much.

Rosemary gets called Rose, Rosie, Roses, etc. So many different nicknames and sometimes it annoys her, but doesn’t really stop anyone. She’s a bit bigger than other kids, which always made her feel embarrassed. A bit taller than most kids and didn’t like her tummy:(

STEP 2:

These years were the hardest for Rosemary, because she was very lost, didn’t know who was her true friends and even has some issues with her mother. But mostly Rosemary battles with herself during this time.

Now, Rosemary tries her best to stay away from any spotlight and has only few close friends. She doesn’t want any conflicts, so she has a hard time choosing sides whenever a classmates would have drama.

Rosemary’s escape is music and dancing now. She’s very into K-pop and J-pop during this time and has kind of dropped her old gamer and anime loving self. Though, she still misses those times when it was okay for her to be ”cringe”.

Her mental health declines rather harshly, even making her harm herself in certain ways to relieve overwhelming emotions. She usually regrets doing it afterwards, because it’s hard to hide and it makes her vulnerable.

Even though Rosemary says that she isn’t trying to fit in and is genuinely herself, it’s most likely a lie. She indeed is just trying to somehow fit in and make others happy. Rosemary starts wearing clothes that show off her body more in hopes of making herself like the cool girls and tries to learn makeup.

Rosemary gets more into studying herself and understand that maybe, just maybe this isn’t truly her. So, in subtle ways she tries to show her true self (such as jewelry). Rosemary accepted herself as pansexual/romantic already when she was 12, but for a long while she questions her gender. Being a girl feels right but also empty, being a boy is too much for her and nonbinary isn’t right either. But, she tries to ignore it.

She’s still rather chubby and hates it. It causes her to wear more ’boring’ clothes, because she thinks they won’t show others her bigger body. Rosemary only accepts Rose nickname during this time.

STEP 3:

Everything kind of starts making sense now. Rosemary is gaining confidence and got professional help for her problems. She accepts her actual style and doesn’t wear ’boring’ clothes anymore.

She’s still awkward and kind of anti-social, but tries her best and is more laid-back now. Rosemary only goes with her kind of people now and won’t force herself to fit in.

They also got back into gaming, anime and even started cosplaying sometimes! They still sometimes listen to K-pop and J-pop but more for nostalgia and during rough times. They’re also into makeup and fashion now, especially fashion styles from Japan.

Did you notice how I used they pronoun for Rosemary? Well, they finally realized and accepted themself as a demigirl! Rosemary prefers she/they pronouns but doesn’t really care if anyone uses he.

Rosemary isn’t entirely happy with her body still and also feels kind of lost, but is slowly and surely getting better. She’s trying to live healthy now, not working out to lose weight but to love her body no matter how chubby she was.

A bit more confident in themself, but still has ways to go and a lot to learn. They aren’t 100% certain what they want to do in the future, but have some ideas.

That was all I have for her now! I haven’t made one for Step 4 yet, but I’ll work on it. I’ll probably post more about her as well and maybe change some things. This is kind of like a first draft, but I doubt I’ll change anything drastically.

[heyheyitsjae]

Alright so a new trailer for A Minecraft Movie came out (and a few behind the scenes videos in the interim). It’s a massive improvement over the previous teaser and I have a lot more positive things to say, but it still hasn’t really swayed me on seeing it in theaters. My overall thoughts are the same as they have been. The environment/sets are very pretty and nice, the Mobs have an uncanny and freaky vibe to them that doesn’t sit well, and while not AS poorly green screened the actors don’t mesh with the world and their dialogue feels cheesy and poorly delivered. However, with the presentation of this trailer I’m starting to get the visual identity the film is going for and appreciate it a bit more. I still would’ve preferred either an animation, or if it had to be live action ditching the cube aesthetic, but its style is starting to grow on me. That said, a better trailer doesn’t necessarily mean a better movie. 

The Bee has been leaked before, and as before I think it’s decently cute. 

I am so torn on the “as a child I yearned for the mines” line. On the one hand it is really funny, on the other hand it’s only funny because it’s a pre established meme and this is a massive “hello fellow kids” moment. Minecraft has had a nasty habit of cashing in on community memes long after the time has passed. They added Screaming Goats to the game a decent bit after the screaming goat meme had already died, and now that Mob is incredibly dated. They made this hilarious walk and dance tune for Frogs for Minecraft Live a few years back, and have been dragging that dead horse out of the mud to beat it with a stick for just about every community event since then even though it’s no longer funny. As hilarious as they are, just about every Narrator and MARILLA episode has some sort of dig at the Phantom yet THEY STILL HAVEN’T TRIED TO FIX THE FUCKING PHANTOMS!!! THEY KNOW PEOPLE HATE THEM AND ARE DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT, JUST RUBBING IT IN! We’re laughing at how stupid and ridiculous the line is now, but I’m sure by the time the film actually comes out it will have been so saturated in the marketing it’s no longer funny. 

The zoom out as Steve enters the Overworld is weird. It took me a while to realize it lines up with the music. Speaking of, It's so cool they’re actually using C418 for the trailer!... only to fade it out for another fucking radio song that doesn’t really fit. Come on guys, Otherside would’ve fit the vibe of this trailer perfectly! 

When Steve’s placing dirt the sounds of the dirt placing don’t line up with his actions. I’m guessing they originally showed more of him building and forgot to edit the trailer’s music since that’s what the sounds DO line up with. 

The Wolf was one of the better looking designs from the teaser and I’ll admit it is pretty cute here. The animation of the collar popping up with the hearts is really slick and I love it. It is weird that he’s taming an angry Wolf, but maybe the Wolf was just mad at the Sheep nearby and not Steve? Idk. 

Maybe it’s just the lighting but uh… why is there no gold along the edges of those Powered Rails? They look more like Activator Rails. That feels like a very major thing to miss. 

One of the dumber complaints I saw going around with the previous teaser was people going “‘Steve’s Lava Chicken,’ the fuck’s that mean?” The second I saw that sign my assumption was Steve set up a lava-based Chicken auto-cooker, those are pretty common! And sure enough, he did! One thing is though, I’m not sure the design shown off here would actually work? My first thought was you’d have to get the timing of the Pistons opening and closing pretty precise in order to have the Flowing Lava touch the Chicken and set it on fire while also letting it dissipate before the Chicken actually burned to death so it wouldn’t destroy the items. 

But I saw a couple of explanations floating about for it. The first was that the Chicken was standing on a slab, as it didn’t line up with the glass in the window, in which case this design would 100% work. The second was the Chicken was on a trapdoor that dropped it just as it got set on fire… and sure enough someone managed to build a working version of it in-game! 

The Chicken itself is decent, I mostly like it. My one issue is its eyes. That brown iris and black pupil makes its eyes SUPER beady. And like, their eyes are pretty beady in the base game, but this lad is staring into your soul and I hate it. That said, the Cooked Chicken does look pretty good… 

We see Villagers in the background a lot during these scenes (even old Wandy T my beloved.) I think it’s cool that they’ve got a variety of Biome outfits, not just their professions, which really adds a lot of extra variety to the town. They’re in the background and blurred a lot so you can’t really make out their faces that much… but they are usually a bit cursed. There are a handful of shots (usually when you see them head on) where they’re actually kind of cute! But they’re undoubtedly weird lookin’.  

The first time I saw this trailer one thing that really confused me was the extended version of the Ghast-hot-air-balloon scene, cause it looked like they just kind of shot at nothing there. Going frame by frame though, you can see a white triangle kind of thing dart across the mountainside and fly out from under the fireball. I think we’re gonna get a midair combat scene of Ghast vs Elytra-player.

The Nether was the best looking part of the previous trailer, and it still looks great here. I love the sort of Legends-like combination of Bastion and Fortress leading up to a central, decorated portal. But also, the dog is there. Are the Piglins gonna kill Steve’s Wolf? Is that how this conflict starts? DOES THE DOG DIE MOJANG!?!?

The 2D visual is fun, I hope they have more creative shots like that in the final product. One thing I noticed the first time is Garret here is digging into an already established tunnel, and something someone else pointed out is there’s TNT buried in the ground next to him. It seems like they’re luring the Skeletons into some kind of pit-trap. Seems excessive to basic night-time Googlies to me, but still cool. 

Alright the punching and placing wood thing is actually badass. There was a lot of weight behind it (in both directions) that I like. 

We saw “The Stash™®©” in the previous teaser and BTS but I'll talk about it a bit anyway. I really hope we get actual shelving to store our items in the official game soon, that’s been a long time coming. While it’s definitely wishful thinking, the Boots of Swiftness from Dungeons being here makes me hope some spin-off loot is added to the main game as part of a movie-tie-in. The new Drops system would facilitate that, at least to a degree. The Golden Carrots look freakin’ weird though, and I’m not sure why Steve has two different spots for them. We get a better look at a suit of Gold Armor here and… it’s odd. Real humans have different proportions than Minecraft dudes, so in order for any sort of armor to fit the chestplate has to be a bit bigger than normal and the helmet way smaller. I’m sure it looks better being worn by someone, but it just looks doofy and dumb right now on the stand. Like you guys know the old live action Mario Movie? I’m getting Goomba vibes from this fit. 

Man… I’m so disappointed about the Elytra. You see, a long standing point of contention with Minecraft fans is that the in-game wings are called Elytra, but Elytra aren’t actually wings. They’re protective pieces of an insect's shell that open up to allow the actual wings to unfurl and let them fly. In some of the concept art for the film we saw their original plans for the Elytra. It was going to a beetle-shell-like pack on the human’s back, that would open to reveal softer wings that would fold out and let them fly, very similar to an actual bug. In the film they seem to have picked the worst of both worlds. The Elytra is just a big chunky plate that looks more like the shell than the wings, and has a very bland design, basically just copy-pasting the in-game texture for its edges. It doesn’t even look to be attached to the human’s bodies at all, just awkwardly floating behind them. (Also Jack Black doesn’t have his own Elytra, he’s riding Mamoa in the background, bet people are gonna have a field day with that.) 

Oh yeah, this is more of commentary on the full scene they released a while back than the trailer, but I love that you use the little hammer on the side of the Crafting Table to perform your crafting. One thing that I’d love is that if you are “breaking” something in a crafting recipe instead of “assembling it” (like Planks into Sticks, or Diamond Blocks into Diamond items) it would be cool if you used the saw on the side of the Crafting Table instead. If that actually happens I’ll literally cream. 

Steve wacks a Zombie with its own arm. That’s one of those things where you can’t do it in-game, but of course you could in reality, so it's fun to see, but it highlights an issue we’re gonna get to later. 

The Iron Golem looks fucking awesome!!! It’s 100% the best Mob design we’ve seen in the film yet. I think a big part of that is because it’s already an artificial thing, so there’s no distracting skin/fur texture or unnerving body shape. Either way it's cool!.

There’s a bit of a blink and you’ll miss it bit as they’re jumping off that building with Elytra  that I have… thoughts on. You see, one of the things we learned from the BTS videos is that Henry’s (the kid in the red shirt) role in the film is he’s a modder. He’s capable of altering the game’s code and adding new content into it. During this scene, he’s holding a freaking gun! He modded a gun into the game. 

And you see… this rubs me an awful way. A lot of the time when people complain about Minecraft they take jabs at “Mojang’s hypocrisy.” A lot of the time I think these arguments are a bit poorly thought out, researched, or invalid. 90% of the time people look at a stated Mojang policy and then point to a feature that either A) was developed in the Notch era and grandfathered in so Jeb had to deal with it despite having a different vision (see Spiders and Silverfish) or B) was received so poorly it’s why Mojang have the conflicting policy in the first place (see Polar Bears.) But here we’ve hit my first personal-angry-”you hypocrites”-Mojang moment. 

A year or so ago Mojang went out on a crusade banning and sending cease-and-desists toward mod-makers that… added guns into the game. It was probably the most intense take down of community content and changing of public policy they had ever done, and they were very aggressive about it. Now, here they are, making a character who’s supposed purpose is to celebrate the modding community and suddenly they’re jumping on the “guns are cool, thanks for adding guns to our game” bandwagon? So people are allowed to mod guns into Minecraft… on the condition Microsoft can make profit off of it? That’s kinda lame dude. 

And, TBF, it’s not a black-and-white betrayal of morals. The gun-mod takedowns were primarily targeted at people adding real-life weaponry into Minecraft, while the gun we see in this trailer is a comical pirate/steampunky looking one. I personally never really cared for those realistic gun mods, they broke immersion too much for me, but I did think going through such efforts to censor them was silly. After such a recent PR nightmare, expressing the exact opposite opinion without really addressing why and trying to sweep it under the rug is an odd choice and doesn’t sit right with me. To me it feels like another one of those hollow pretend-to-care-when-you-don’t things. Like they added all those new skins to the game a few years back to “add diversity’, but then in this film they don’t use any of those diverse characters and white-washed Steve. Or to pick a non-Minecraft example, Disney pumping out a shit ton of rainbow merch for Pride Month but canceling their top-performing-animation after it had a lesbian couple and not allowing a different show’s finale to air ‘cause it had a trans character. Gotta ban guns from the game to prevent shootings and violent crime, but when it’s in the comedy-action-adventure movie it’s “haha fun action, funny times, look at how cool this gun is” Maybe they’ll treat the gun with some kind of tact when the film comes out, the kid does ditch it to take flight after all, but right now it feels like corporate wanting their cake and eating it too. 

You know, I actually started writing this whole breakdown after the trailer came out, but I got busy with schoolwork and put off finishing it for a few weeks. I’m adding this new bit here now, turns out I’m not so alone in this thought. Apparently the Mojang-gun-mod controversy just started popping off again to the degree someone is planning on suing Mojang!?!? I’ve noticed other people in the comments poo-pooing the gun in the trailer too now, so that’s something. 

This might be a minor gripe but I can’t get it out of my head… WHY DOES STEVE ONLY HAVE 1 ENDER PEARL!?!? I’d say in your typical Minecraft playthrough you’re probably only going to get like 1-3 Ender Pearls before you start actually working toward The End, so only having 1 isn’t that weird of a thing. BUT Steve has been on this world for at least a decade by the looks of things, and he has TWO Elytra meaning he’s definitely opened the End Portal and killed the Ender Dragon at this point. 

From then on you could make the argument that he just doesn’t like fighting in the game, and/or he doesn’t know how to build a Mob-farm and kill a bunch of Endermen. But in The Stash™®© he has AN ENTIRE SHELF dedicated to Firework Rockets. That means he has a decent supply of Gunpowder meaning he either is a good enough fighter to kill a bunch of Creepers, or he’s managed to make a Mob-farm for it. My best explanation, as I’ll mention again later, it’s likely that Mobs in this Movie-verse don’t operate on the same spawning and AI rules, so Endermen just might not be nearly as predictable in the film as they are in-game. This does seem to be a fusion of the main game and all its spinoffs, and in Dungeons Endermen are WAY stronger than the base-game, to the point they’re classified as a miniboss, so I’m willing to buy Endermen can just fuck your shit up in this world. Until we actually get a feeling for their strength though I’m still gonna point and laugh at noob Steve here with only 1 Pearl to his name, what a loser! 

Also… it’s odd that the Ender Pearl is like, sooo round. Like it’s not a perfect sphere, it’s still made of blocks, but it’s mostly round. Like in-game the sprites for Apples and Ender Pearls are about as round as each other, but Apples are square in the movie and Pearls are not? I’m gonna give them the benefit of the doubt and assume this is just another way of selling how alien The End is, but it’s probably just more inconsistency in melding blockiness and real life.

The Zombies look fuckin’ creepy. Like I guess they’re monsters, they’re supposed to be ugly, but still it's a bit of that uncanny-nastiness we got in the previous trailer. The Skeletons look much better. Their faces are still a tad odd, but on the whole I like them. We also get to see Spider Jockeys! Hell yeah! The Spiders are only there for a few frames and are blurred, but what little we see looks good. They were one of the concept arts that stood out to me. 

One thing that is odd about the night scene is just how amped up the monsters seem to be. 10, yeah TEN freaking flaming arrows are shot at our cast at once. We then see TWO Spider Jockeys, both of whom have Enchanted Bows (presumably with Flame) but that means there’s at least 8 other Skeletons with Enchants in the area and, possibly, their own mounts. Enchanted gear on Skelly’s is decently rare, it’s even rarer to see ‘em riding Spiders, but two Mobs that beefed up in the same party!?!? Those are ridiculous odds! I’m assuming the movie is going to have some sort of plot along the lines of the monsters of the Overworld are getting stronger and our heroes have to find out who’s helping them. Also since these are film characters and not game AI… like 100% Skeletons are smart enough to gather buffed gear from their fallen comrades and mount nearby Spiders IRL right? It makes sense from, like, a movie perspective, but still feels impossible, ya know? 

Apparently they also showed off a Cow design on social media. It’s got the same derp-eye problem of the previous teaser and I don’t really care for it, feels like another step backwards.

Now that’s everything about the trailer itself, but I’ve got a few other concerns. A major one is the actors for the film and the marketing around them. So far the entirety of the films marketing has been around Jack Black as Steve and Jason Mammoa as Garret, and the rest of the cast has been left by the wayside. This is in spite of the fact that, based on what we’ve been told in the BTS content, Henry played by Sebastion Hansen is actually the main character in the movie. Despite this, I don’t know if we’ve even been given any lines of dialogue from him in the trailers. He has been completely pushed by the wayside which is very concerning, and I can think of 3 reasons why. 

1st, (and most likely IMO) is that hollywood is cashing in on star power to try and sell the film. Since Black and Mamoa are pretty well known household names they’re hammering in on them and leaving the rest of the cast to flounder. It’s a pretty annoying move as lots of movies have been doing it recently, picking big names to push tickets even if they don’t actually fit the role or play little part in the plot. 

2nd, is maybe the kid’s a really bad actor and they're trying to cover it up. Personally I find this hard to believe, as he’s been pretty well put together in interviews and it’s not like Black or Mamoa’s performances have been stellar, but there’s a lot of infamy around child actors and maybe things just didn’t pan out like the studio wigs hoped. 

3rd, and the most hopeful one, is they’re trying to protect the kid. Whenever controversial movies come out people tend to attack, berate, and bully the people in them, and young folks often get the worst of it. The world of a child actor is shitty enough, but being a child actor in a B-movie is a sure fire way for people to slap you on a crucifix. 

Speaking about bullying the actors, I’m gonna eat my own words here a bit because… I think focusing on Black and Mamoa was real bad move. 

In Black’s case I just don’t think his delivery has been very good. Just about every line they’ve shown of his has been real stilted and awkward, like he’s really hamming up and exaggerating everything he says, and it’s kind of distracting. There are definitely lines delivered better, like that intro they had in this trailer, but a lot of ‘em just feel either inhuman or like he’s talking down to a bunch of children. If he talks like that for the entire movie I’m gonna sho- (remembers not to make casual suicide jokes in order to encourage a positive mindset) turn on KeepInventory and jump into a cactus. 

And for Mamoa his actual acting has been stellar so far, but the character is a problem. While I’m sure it’s up to personal tastes, Garett the Garbage Man Garrison's presentation so far just feels so… overdone. He’s been nothing but annoying in the teasers so far. Which IS the point of his character, so that’s good, the problem is that if he’s used as much in the actual film as the trailers have so far the joke is gonna get old fast. It kinda leaves a sour taste of the entire cast in your mouth as you’re worried if everyone else is gonna act like this. 

This has created a situation where 3 members of the cast we’ve been given no details on, one isn’t playing the part well, and the other is infuriating. It doesn’t matter how much someone likes Black or Mamoa if they aren’t playing the role well it isn’t going to sell anyone on the movie. 

My next big issue with the film is it’s supposed to be a comedy but so far, honestly, it hasn’t been that funny. The only joke in either trailer to make me laugh was the “yearn for the mines one” and, as mentioned before, they stole that one from the community! Everything else hasn’t really tickled me. 

It still feels very much in the “he’s right behind me *gulp*” level of camp, which is just eye rolling at this point. A lot of the humor also just kind of boils down to “oh hey look at this WEIRD thing from Minecraft, isn’t this thing so WEIRD and STUPID” and I’m just kind of sick of that. Not only is it alienating the audience the film is trying to go for, but it’s also doing so willingly for the main reason that: this film can’t decide if it's a game or not. 

It’s using things like being live action, or the Mobs acting smarter, or being able to rip off a Zombie’s arm, or things having finer decoration/detail to sell the idea that is a real breathing world. Yet at the same time, there’s a bunch of things that only exist in Minecraft in the first place as a part of game convenience that are put into this film just to be gawked at. Everything being made of squares, trees floating, items dropping as small floating and spinning things. These are all just elements to make Minecraft as a game feel easily understandable and easy to play. Steve doesn’t literally have a giant gray box and have words appear in midair when naming something on an Anvil, that’s just how we the player engage with the game world. 

We know that the Minecraft world doesn’t LITERALLY function like this. Turtle Eggs look rounder in the inventory than when placed as blocks, so they aren’t literally square. The Orb of Dominance is called an “orb” even though it looks like a cube in-game because it’s not actually a cube. Skeletons are the only Mob to drop bones not because none of the other animals have skeletons, but to add a rewarding reason to fight them. 

In one of the music disks we hear a player plunking and pulling apart Chicken meat because they don’t ACTUALLY become a floating item when killed. But, having to go through separate actions/minigames/motions to pluck all of the chicken’s feathers, and behead the chicken, and drain most of its guts and blood, isn’t done in-game for a reason. From a gameplay perspective it would make food-prep in the game very slow and annoying, and from a marketing perspective it would make the game too gorey for children. There’s only so much code you can fit in a file and only so much time you can have a developer write that code, so if a function isn’t needed to sell the fun of a game it won’t be added, even if it’s “logical.” 

When adapting a game feature to another medium it can be tricky to determine what does or does not get adapted and how to do so. You could go simple like the Mario Movie. Mario magically gets bigger when he touches a mushroom in the games, so the movie interpreted this as him eating them, which was what most people assumed happened anyway. You could also go complicated like the Sonic Movie. In the Sonic Games, rings essentially function as Sonic’s health. If he has rings and gets hit he drops them, and if hit again he dies. The movie re-interpreted this as the rings not literally providing him with lifeforce, but that the rings are powerful relics he needs to get home and he can't let them fall into enemy hands, so losing them would be bad for him and good for anyone trying to get to his homeworld. 

So far, A Minecraft Movie seems to keep most of these mechanics “gamey” despite trying to turn it into the real world. Poking fun at Minecraft’s silly logic can be fun, even hilarious, but most works that do that stick to the game’s silly style to embrace that silliness. You can’t insist the game is closer in line to reality, not change it to match reality, and then make fun of it for not being reality. It’s not the universe’s fault that that feature is weird, it’s your fault as a writer for not adapting it to the new medium.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

The Disney Renaissance inspired a slew of imitators, as we all know, but perhaps the most famous (or infamous, perhaps) of them all was WB’s Quest for Camelot. Usually I’d do a little more buildup before just dropping the film’s name like that, but I think we need to get it out of the way as quickly as possible so I can tell you the wild story of this film’s creation and box office failure, because boy is there a lot to unpack here.

Things seemed good at the start. Bill and Susan Kroyer, the husband-and-wife duo who brought the world FernGully: The Last Rainforest, were on board to direct the film, and it was going to be a faithful adaptation of Vera Chapman’s novel The King’s Damsel. With a PG-13 rating, a dark story, and a slew of talented animators including none other than Lauren Faust, this film was on track to become one of the most unique animated films in the animation Renaissance, a movie that could very well have stepped boldly out of Disney’s shadow and made WB a true contender! But I’m reviewing it here, so you know that didn’t happen.

What did happen was the Kroyers got the boot and were replaced by Frederick Du Chau, and this is where it all started to go downhill. Apparently he didn’t like good ideas, because he decided to trash the original idea for the film and retool the whole thing into a shameless Disney copycat, even going so far as to shoehorn in a bunch of musical numbers at the last minute and keeping a lot of the animators in the dark about what exactly they were animating (something Faust in particular has been pissed about). Animator David Germain has also said the film’s producer, Dalisa Cooper Cohen, hated animation to begin with and was only here because a film she co-produced bombed thanks to WB’s bad advertising, so right from the word go we have more red flags than you can shake a stick at.

But of course, they ignored those red flags, and they put all their chips on this being the way forward for WB animation, going so far as to burying future cult classic Cats Don’t Dance so it wouldn’t outshine this movie. They even got a tie-in meal with Wendy’s which had toys and also a special promotional ticket to get adults in at kid prices! What could go wrong with this? Let me tell you what could go wrong: Barely grossing back half the forty million dollar budget. It’s kind of a bad idea to cut your box office gains in half with a cheap ticket you can get while buying your kid dinner, y’know?

To call the results of this film’s failure devastating are a gross understatement. WB snuffed out every animated film they had in development and refused to advertise their upcoming three animated films, after this failed, ending any chance they had at ever being considered a real contender for Disney in terms of animation dominance; in fact, even after moving the release date from Christmas of 1997 to May 1998 to avoid competing with big releases, the movie still ended up competing with Mulan and losing handily, truly sealing the deal. But this movie didn’t just obliterate WB’s hopes for some of that Disney cash, oh no! This film ended up being seen as a sign the Renaissance age of animation was over due to being the ultimate shameless Disney copycat, it ended up being regarded as one of the reasons the animated musical died out for a time (though Dreamworks changing the game with Shrek is probably the bigger reason), and more than anything this film’s abysmal failure is cited by some as a reason for the death of traditional animation from western studios!

It really doesn’t help the film’s case that no one who worked on this has very many nice things to say about it. Everyone who was part of the animation team who has been asked about their experience has overwhelmingly negative things to say about it. It really seems like the entire world has it out for this film, huh? Eventually Cats Don’t Dance got its vindication as well as a massive furry fandom; meanwhile, all this movie got was a Nostalgia Critic review where Doug tore this movie apart. But is the hate warranted? Before this review, I hadn’t seen this movie in about two decades, but I remember liking it. Sure, reading all this made me very apprehensive, but I had to give it a fair shake. So is this movie a hidden gem of the time that was unfairly maligned, or is it really that bad after all?

THE GOOD

I think it’s pretty indisputable that, all things considered, the soundtrack is pretty good. There’s a reason “The Prayer” is the big breakaway pop hit of the film, to the point many people forget this is where it came from. The soundtrack is so good that even the stupid song introducing the pointless comic relief characters is pretty great out of context, and the worst track is hilarious, so bad it’s good nonsense. This is all despite the songs being a late addition, to the point that in the movie the songs either play over unfitting scenes or screech the plot to a halt only to be completely ignored once they’re finished.

There’s a lot of flaws with the animation (which I’ll get into below), but there are things worthy of praise, such as the designs of Ruber’s half-human, half-weapon henchmen he creates with a magical potion. The standout among them, of course, is Bladebeak the axe chicken voiced by Jaleel White. You read that right. Sonic the Hedgehog voiced an axe chicken. It’s so delightfully stupid that despite Bladebeak doing nothing to meaningfully impact the plot and despite him spouting a horrifically egregious Sudden Impact reference mangled by a groan-worthy pun, I can’t help but love him. At least he’s a better pointless chicken than fucking Hei Hei.

One of the most bafflingly positive aspects of the film is that it has perhaps one of the best, most nuanced animated portrayals of a disabled character of its time. Blind swordsman Garret is portrayed as not completely helpless even with the disadvantages of his blindness, he’s learned workarounds to his condition, he’s incredibly independent and perfectly able to survive on his own, and the film never gets too sappy about it and gives him a bit of insecurity and self-doubt due to his condition. And despite the film ending with a magical healing wave, he’s not cured of his condition! He gets to keep his disability, and at the same time get knighted and score a girlfriend! How the fuck did this movie of all things manage to accidentally do representation right? Garret walked so Toph Beifong could run.

And I’ve saved the very best for last: Ruber. On paper, Ruber is about as generic a bad guy as you can get, being a power-hungry conqueror with the looks to match (one wonders what King Arthur was even thinking hiring this hulking man with clammy skin and disgustingly untrimmed fingernails), but in the hands of Gary Oldman he is elevated into the single funniest character in the entire film. Oldman’s hammy delivery of the most basic lines manages to do things like make his villain “song” (it’s in quotations because it’s basically just Ruber talking and occasionally rhyming over a beat) into a so bad it’s good masterpiece and dropping lines like “The ogre’s butt!” with far more dignity than they deserve. Throw in an intimidating griffon sidekick with an unfittingly squeaky voice and some of the most ridiculous expression imaginable courtesy of the animators, and you have a villain who was born to be a meme. His reign as king of Camelot may have been short, but Ruber will always be reigning champ of campy, ridiculous animated villains.

THE BAD

One of my biggest fears rewatching this was that Devon and Cornwall, the dragon with two heads who can’t stand each other, were going to be the most horrible, unbearable characters of all time. Thankfully, they weren’t, mainly because being portrayed by Eric Idle and Don Rickles respectively keeps the two from being completely insufferable. That being said, they absolutely do still suck and are the worst characters in the entire film.

They are very clearly meant to be the Genie of this film, the comic relief side character portrayed by a popular comedian who unrelentingly does gags and makes pop culture references, but here it just has zero rhyme or reason to it. Genie could see through time and space with his phenomenal cosmic powers, so of course he knows who Jack Nicholson is; how does this mismatched dragon duo have a clue who Elvis is when they can’t even fly or breathe fire when we first meet them? The musical number their introduced with, which is a nonstop stream of references while the two sing how much they hate each other, is especially egregious, dragging on and on despite the joke wearing out its welcome really quickly. But hey, it’s not so bad! They dress up as Sonny and Cher towards the end! What a cute little joke, I’m sure glad nothing happened in real life right before this movie came out that would make this gag tasteless and insensitive!

Our heroine Kayley is also divisive, enough to give the dragon doofuses a run for their money. Even the animators had no fucking clue what to make of this woman. Is she supposed to be whiny and vapid? Is she a genuinely likable hero who is just overshadowed by the much cooler Garret? Maybe if they could have just stuck one idea and run with it, but the production of this movie was such a disaster to begin with it’s understandble why Kayley is such a hot mess. For the record, I don’t think she’s all that bad, but she really isn’t a standout or anything. Garret and Ruber are just ridiculously cool, Devon and Cornwall are just insanely bad, Bladebeak is the greatest thing ever created, and Kayley is just… there.

The animation itself is… dodgy. Sure, the designs of everything look great… when they aren’t moving, anyway. Background extras have weird expressions frozen on their faces, characters in long shots clip through each other, and some characters just move in the weirdest and choppiest ways. That’s not even getting into the ogre, who is animated with jarring CGI that has aged just as well as you can imagine.

The biggest issue with this movie, though, is that even though it has literally everything that makes a great Disney Renaissance film present and accounted for—a headstrong female protagonist, a charming male lead, an epic soundtrack, a comic relief character, an animal sidekick, an extremely flamboyant villain—it literally has no idea how to utilize any of these things and bring them together in a coherent story. I think this is most apparent with the musical numbers, which basically just come and go with little fanfare or explanation due to how late they were added to the film, but going even further than that the film just makes no attempt to logically build off anything. Things just happen because they’re supposed to happen in this story. Oh, Ruber has a magic potion? He just got it from witches, whatever, he needs a way to make sword demons. Oh, Devon and Cornwall need an excuse to travel with the heroes? Well, uh, dragon code says they can’t help humans but they did anyway so now they’re basically in exile! Doug Walker, throughout his review, repeatedly demanded, “Explain, movie! Explain!” due to how little internal logic or reason this film has, and it’s hard not to say the same. Obviously suspension of disbelief works for things like Excalibur vaporizing Ruber or the magical forest or the existence of dragons, but we are told so much and shown so little in other areas that it becomes quite glaring.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Quest for Camelot is genuinely pretty bad, but honestly? That’s part of what makes it so charming in a weird way.

Like, this is one of the most blatant attempts at copying the Disney style out there; Anastasia was more subtle than this. And even then, it copies everything in the most nonsensical, haphazard ways possible! It has all the elements of what made the Disney Renaissance worked, but no idea how to apply them in ways to make anything resembling a coherent story, and the result is nothing short of fascinating.

“So bad it’s good” and campy animation are very underrepresented when it comes to discussions of film, though I think there’s a sense that animation that has been half-assed is more egregious than a live action film doing the same. Shark Tale is probably the premier example because of how absolutely batshit the film is, and I think Quest for Camelot easily measures up to it, though where Shark Tale is on the hilariously bad side of things, Quest for Camelot is more on the campy side of things, even if it’s mainly for Ruber’s presence alone. But even compared to Shark Tale I’d say this movie is just a smidge better, mainly because it’s less confused with what it wants to be and has a better understanding of the story structure it’s aping. It’s a mess, but it’s a mostly entertaining mess, even if it’s for the wrong reasons a lot of the time.

I’ll be honest, watching through this movie again as an adult wasn’t exactly the best, as I could see this for what it is: A desperate attempt to capture that Disney magic. At the same time, though, I don’t really think this film is nearly as bad as it’s made out to be. I think there’s a sort of charm to it, even with all of its glaring issues and how much it sucks. Ruber alone is worth watching this film for, honestly, so I’m gonna be nice for a change and say that 6.2 on IMDB is mostly fair, though I definitely think it’s only that high due to nostalgia. Realistically, I’d say this film is a 5.5, but I wouldn’t fault anyone for finding this film charming. As far as batshit insane animated movies of the 90s go this one isn’t as weird and creative as We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story or Freddie as F.R.0.7., but I think it still manages to be just stupid and silly enough to earn its place in the world.

[the1laff]

WIP Post

Tagged by @jittyjames, thanks for the tag!

Rules: Post names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that intrigues them, then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I’ll try to tag as many as I have WIPs but idk if it’ll happen. Also if I tag you, you don’t have to do it, Idek if you write, sorry.

@binch-i-might-be @duelamort @cecescomposition @himnnnnnn @xcminhdang

Hamilton

Hellfire and Rhinestones

Jamilton fic, modern day, angst?

Thomas is a demon (more specifically the devils son but that’s not important till way later) and takes a liking to Alex so he starts showing up when he needs help, and then more frequently just bc. Alex doesn’t know Thomas is a demon yet. At one point he think he’s a guardian angel or some shit. I love irony.

That Little Noodle Fuck

Jamilton fic, modern day, fluff and some emotional comforting.

Adopted from parsniffs, 3AM Warmth. Alex is a college student who writes for a living and Thomas is also a college student who works at a late night cookie shop. Alex orders cookies way too often and before too long he realizes he actually has somewhat of a relationship with Thomas. Thomas is a caretaker at times for our poor Alex. I tried to keep them as close to how parsniffs wrote them.

You Won’t Die Alone!

Jamilton, modern day, fluff, angst, slow burn, one of those soulmate AUs where everyone has a black mark/stain from where their soulmate will touch them for the first time, once they touch it turns into bright colors.

This starts as a senior year HS fic and if it goes to plan then it will evolve in to a college fic. Alex thought he didn’t have a mark. He kinda likes Thomas at first then hates guts then eventually comes around and can be civil-ish and I haven’t gotten past there if I remember. There is snow at some point, drinking, drinking games, minor injury and pranks. He does end up in possession of a particular jacket. The rest of the gang makes intermittent appearances. Also Washingdad

“T” is for Trauma

Lams, modern day, established relationship, fluff, hurt/comfort.

John is a paramedic, Alex is a freelance writer. There are a lot of chapters centered around real calls I’ve been on, some are altered for reader enjoyment and to abide by HIPPA laws. I don’t use real addresses/names obviously. There is a lot of medical trauma, infant, child, adult, and animal death. Alex gardens, there will be a mental trauma reveal for John later, possible smut if I can get over the fear of posting that. I try to balance it with wholesome fluff and couple things in between. My longest and current favorite fic I’ve written.

Sherlock

Reading Too Far Into It

Johnlock, modern day, fluff, maybe some angst.

John discovered Ao3, and reads fic. I can’t say more without spoiling the entire plot. Pre slash if I remember correctly. Lots of Sherlock antics, there is a case I plan on throwing in at some point.

[lightpeak]

a totally original shower thoughts video - script

I have a personal vendetta against the number 7. It’s the oddest of the odd single digit numbers. It’s just… there. That, and it’s the only single digit number, other than zero, with two syllables. I remember as a kid, hating it when a number was something like seven hundred, seven thousand, seventeen. It just felt crowded. But I suppose it’s a hopeless endeavor to hate it. It’s not like I can change it.

But what about hopeless? I think it’s the most despicable word in the English language.

Not because of some arbitrary linguistic property. But because of what it means, and the fact that humanity has deemed it necessary to express its meaning. That suffering perpetrates life in such a way to extinguish, however temporarily, a person’s hope. 

What about the obviously dumb words? Like how we park on driveways, and drive on parkways. Shipments are carried in trucks or cars, but cargo is carried on ships. 

Or what about discombobulate? Well actually, that one makes sense. It means to stun or confuse, and I pretty much always feel that way when faced with that word.

And then there’s taradiddle. This more or less means that something’s pretentious. Does that mean that my entire personality is taradiddlous? Taradiddleful? Taradiddliousious?

Have you ever looked out your window in the morning and seen canines and felines plummeting from the heavens? No? Then why is “it’s raining cats and dogs” a phrase? And what about buckets, and striking them with our feet, makes us think of death? And is breaking your leg not the worst case scenario during a performance? Why do we wish that upon others?

English is a giant… joke. 

Speaking of falling animals, why do we say we are falling in love? What about a growing fondness for someone, makes us think of helplessly succumbing to gravity? Maybe it’s something to do with the duality of falling. How, thanks to relativity, falling is indistinguishable from floating, other than the air rushing past you. 

This is because gravity is not a force within the universe, but a distortion of the universe itself. All lines are straight lines, except where gravity bends the space those lines occupy. This is also due to how acceleration works, and how movement is irrelevant without a reference frame. Long story short, we say we’re falling in love, because we also feel like we’re floating. We feel free. Yet we’re reminded of how helpless we are in the things we can’t control. Love is not a thought. It’s not something you have conscious control of. You will love, whether you like it or not.

Gravity is all fine and dandy, until someone wants to get off the planet. That someone being a selfish billionaire whose only goal is self preservation and destroying twitter. But I digress. It’s so interesting, how there are so many jobs, whose workers hope for the worst. Phone companies love it when you break your phone. Or when its ability to function correctly suddenly drops, due to no fault of the manufacturer. Or how cops want people to commit crimes to fill their quotas. Mostly people who are already in desperate situations, totally not systemically by design. Mechanics want your car to have problems, so they can charge you extra for repairs you didn’t even know you needed. 

Going back to that billionaire that ruined twitter, he wants to install chips in people’s heads. Supposedly, to allow people to use technology just by thinking about it. Which I guess is cool. Except when you realize that we already have brain to technology interfaces. They’re called our hands, using keyboards, or controllers, or touchscreens. I swear he’s like a League Of Legends player, trying to get his input lag down to zero. 

Speaking of video games, some games can be kind of like therapy for people. Just a way to escape the world, or be a cuddly wholesome environment to make your own. Others, however, might make you need therapy, with how dark and gritty their worlds are. All forms of media can inform us of who we are and what we care about. Others are just fun, and you shouldn’t really think much more about it.

Some may say that getting entrenched in a story can be meaningless. You’re just wasting your time in a fantasy land you’ll never visit. But they forget that these worlds are inspired by our own. Or are idealistic versions of the world we inhabit. Maybe it’s not so bad to hope for our world to look a little more like the one on the screen or between the pages. I don’t think it’s ever a bad thing to hope.

Now if someone can make a world where the number 7 doesn’t exist, you’ll know where to find me.

[thedragonagelesbian]

Luc Surana D&D Character Sheet

this felt like a mistake. but, like, a very fun mistake. a cute mistake. the kind of mistake that might bat its eyelashes at you and give you a VERY disarming smile to convince you that it is, in fact, a REALLY good idea

...so, in that regard, it’s quite like luc himself

@hexblooddruid​ (sorry this is a long one i have a lot to say)

Some notes:

i decided to go shadar-kai for subrace for Maximum edgy goth elf vibes and free short-range teleport

i adore the lyceum scholar background, it felt much more appropriate than sage with a feature specifically about getting access to libraries & arcane resources, as well as the option to take persuasion proficiency. how else was my boy supposed to get his silver tongue?

speaking of, i also did something i didn’t do for cyrus or dru which is i took a first level feat: skill expert, grabbing proficiency in intimidation and expertise in persuasion. given that backgrounds having feats is all but codified for oned&d i didn’t feel too bad about this.

the really fun stuff tho is in this weird fucking triple class: base wizard, druid for all the rest of his levels (litany against making the level 20 build today), and the worst most pointless blood hunter dip ever.

this was by far the hardest dragon age character to port to d&d by sheer virtue of the fact that the magic systems, especially the part of the magic system that luc specializes in in dragon age, aren’t compatible. spirit magic and blood magic, the core of luc’s builds and things that are DIRECTLY adjacent to each other in dragon age, aren’t even things in base d&d

it was easy enough to pick necromancy wizard as a base, since that checks at least the animate dead box, but i also knew i didn’t want that to JUST be a wizard since... a huge part of his arc is precisely that he doesn’t do circle magic well. (also i hate to say it but thats simply too much modularity im not going thru all those spells)

when i set out, i even thought i was going to make him a charisma caster-- maybe a spirit bard or a wild magic sorcerer or even a fiend warlock. but none of the flavor or abilities felt quite right for where luc draws his power from, which is the interplay between life & death, spirit & matter, the fade & the physical world

...and then i remembered. the unpublished unearthed arcana circle of twilight (aka death) druid.

i dont think luc thinks of himself as particularly wise, but you need some kind of wherewithal to deal with spirits as often as he does, and the additional necromancy flavor is perfect, AND i can get healing spells through the druid spell list (and charm person. have we talked about how weird it is that charm person is on the druid spell list)

that just left the blood magic bit of things.

there are a lot of classes that make for good one-level dips, whether for mechanics or flavor or both. cleric. warlock. sorcerer. fighter. yknow what doesnt make for a good one-level dip??? fucking blood hunter. you dont even get a fighting style at level 1.

but luc can’t not have blood magic. he’s not luc if he doesn’t have a  troubling apathetic streak toward self-destruction, and blood hunters are rather grey warden-esque, aren’t they? a monster to fight a monster, a dangerous joining ritual shrouded in secrecy...

(and you know armor & shield proficiency never hurt for a base wizard...)

coming together, then, the three classes create a really exciting parallel to his narrative arc: beginning with wizard in the circle, joining the grey wardens and taking the blood hunter dip, and finally meeting morrigan and experimenting with other, more intuitive forms of magic from there

popping in vital sacrifice for extra blood magic and tough for extra blood, and then i realized that both necromancer & twilight druid have heal-on-kill abilities. to regenerate the blood. i don’t know how this would actually play in-game, i worry it may be too situational or rely too much on fighting crowds of low level enemies (all the more ironic for luc lacking AoE spells both in d&d and in dragon age) BUT. conceptually. i think it’s fucking delightful.

the other hard thing was picking spells bc. again. spirit spells don’t exist and i tried not to take elemental spells for my damage spells. in addition to the wizard spells featured (which skew more toward entropy than spirit tbh but what can i do at this point), the notable druid spells are charm person, hold person, moonbeam, and wither and bloom, and when he gets to level 5, dispel magic.

[mizuirolawliet]

You know, I’m fully aware I was a shit person in source. And I’m not going to sit here and try and argue for or against myself about it. My parents didn’t want me, I was dumped into an orphanage, I was allowed into traumatising field of work at fucking 10, I was coddled too much when I should have been yes accommodated for my autism but also socialised and taught better empathy. By the time I was old enough to realise the situation wasn’t great the damage had already been done, and the most I could do was try and put some level of control on it. One successor kills himself, the other impersonates me and kills three people. Then a child who’s dad is killed by bio terrorists is dumped into my care and for the first time I realise how fucked up I am because I see the same hurt child I was in her. I almost loose her and practically break down over it. And then fucking Kira happens. I get into a back and fourth abusive as fuck rivalry disguised as friendship with the guy, a fucking teenager mind you, and then he kills me and I never get to see my remaining successors who I did immensely care for grow up. And he kills my only father figure right in front of me too.

I was just a puppet for whatever sick deity’s pleasure. I and anyone who ever came into contact with me was dragged into the depths of hell and forced to become horrible people to survive. We’re all victims turned perpetrators. We all hated each other, tried to win these arbitrary games over each other, kill each other. I can hold all the contempt in the world for those who hurt me, and they can hold that same contempt for me.

No one in death note is innocent. We’re all victims of circumstance that turned into perpetrators.

And you know? As difficult as it can be, dwelling on it is only going to keep us hurt. I’ve been in this system 10 years now, and leaving my source behind was the best thing I could do for myself. Yeah I occasionally still look at nice fanart and such, but engaging with the fandom and even watching some episodes of the anime is just too triggering, it just brings up all those feelings of contempt and rage. I don’t need that. I need to be present for my kids, my partners and my system. My kids need a dad who can help them through their own trauma, not add to it. My partners need a person they can rely on and love with no strings attached. My system needs a co host that puts the well being of the system first and keeps them safe.

Death Note fictives still burdened with the guilt, trauma, anger, pain etc. let it go. I know it’s easier said than done, and sometimes source separation is hard. You don’t have to fully separate, but enough to the point you’re not dwelling in that trauma, guilt and anger. Be someone better, for yourself and your system. Use the horrors you saw in source as a guide on what to avoid, what red flags to look out for.

You can heal. You are not the monster you were in your source unless you let yourself stay that way.