#I also had it playing in my head while at the bus station and I almost laughed out loud because omg yes I'm too gay for this shit

[mondscheinprinzessin]

I can't get my girl! Niko/Joel fantasy out of my head, help, only thing able to save me would be to have it on paper, but nope, not going to expose myself like that but omg I'm going to combust at some point.

[indigo6f00ff]

funny update a couple of months later for People Who Want to Know: i dont have the car that got me into this Incredibly Minor Accident anymore. while after the accident, i did have to get the brakes serviced (wow, they were faulty, who knew!), it proceeded to have Several More Issues, such as: the transmission being fucked up and Trouble With Turns. i still drove it regardless because i needed that shit to get to college but eventually the radiator fan stopped working on it (where it would start overheating if the car wasn't moving (if the car was moving then air could still blow over the engine, cooling it down)) and My Mother deemed it too dangerous to drive. RIP to the shitty 2012 jeep liberty hand-me-down with 200k miles that led to the creation of the Kim Moment(TM).

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

[thefallennightmare]

Dreamstate-Noah Sebastian x Reader[JP UNIVERSE]

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut(18+), star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse, talks of death, depressive thoughts, talks about not being able to conceive, and endometriosis.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: Hi my loves! JP has been around for ONE YEAR! I am so thankful for all of you. I appreciate every single one of you more than I can ever express. This one-shot takes place between chapters 29 and 30! Also please know that I do not mean any disrespect to Keaton or his memory. Everything I've ever written was done with love and appreciation for him like I've done from the beginning. 🪽🖤 I will not hold it against you if you do not want to read because of it. But please know, that it's done with the utmost respect.

Tags[CLOSED]: @blueskylinesx @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @shayzillaaaa @badomensls @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @joe9cool @ozwriterchick @happi-goth @softvgold @cncohshit @heyyoplayer @rain-down-on-me @respectfulrebel @reader13000 @koskeepsake @malerieee @cheyyyyr @myownthoughts12 @noahsbong @laurpartyprogram @cloudykoookie @jessiskyee @sideeyenoah @badomensls @bellaboo967 @rxdlstgn @anthemheatwave @lobolocaamo @cncohshit @amelia-acero @karenfranco @collidewiththesavannah @xserenax-13 @supersquirrel1996 @themodern-daywednesday @oxythoughtin7715

THIS IS FICTION. NONE OF THIS IS REAL.

NOAH

Blinking my eyes open, I looked around my surroundings and noticed that I was no longer in my bedroom fighting with Y/N. I was on the tour bus, our tour bus, and when I craned my head to the side to peer out the window in my bunk, I sucked in a breath at what I saw. An oddly familiar venue with a red roof. 

“What the fuck,” I muttered while rolling out of my bunk on the tour bus. “How hard did I hit my head last night?” 

During my fight with Y/N, she threw one of her sketchbooks at me in frustration and it hit me directly in the middle of my forehead. That was the last thing I remembered before waking up here in our tour bus. We didn’t have a tour planned which made this whole scene even more confusing. I stretched out my long limbs, feeling the bones pop into place, as I walked towards the front area of the bus and made it outside, wondering where the rest of the guys were. 

“Jolly? Nicholas?” I called out. 

A sudden commotion on the far end of the bus caused me to whirl around and my heart thundered in my chest with the sight before me. It wasn’t the group of people that gave me pause. It was the lone female in the group with her long blonde hair and familiar smile that made my skin slick with sweat. 

"Nice to meet you. I'm sure they've already said this but we're huge fans of Hollow Souls. Noah has your music on the playlist we play during the wait time for our shows,” Nicholas smiled while extending his hand towards the familiar blonde. 

"Shit, you guys sure know how to make a girl blush," she laughed lightly while bouncing on the soles of her feet.

“Y/N,” I breathed. 

"Malcolm, your directions-." 

Just as footsteps thundered down the steps of the bus behind me, the scene around me spun on its axis and darkness crept in. Bile rose in my throat as I felt my body being lurched forward onto the cold concrete, scraping up my palms and knees. 

“I should not have had that gas station burrito,” I grumbled while clutching my stomach. 

Slowly rising to my feet, I leaned my hand up against a car I had been literally thrown in front of, suddenly making me tilt my head towards it. This wasn’t the tour bus I had stepped down moments ago. In fact, I was in an entirely different place than before. 

“This is one fucked up dream,” I dragged my hand down my face. 

An angry voice from the other side of the van had me stepping around it slowly, not wanting to be detected on the off chance this wasn’t a dream and I was sneaking up on someone who could kill me. 

"You don't have to worry about Noah hurting her. That's the farthest thing from his mind. He might be stubborn as hell but when he cares about someone, he makes sure they know that,” Nicholas smiled over towards Chase and Malcolm. 

Furrowing my brows, I glanced over to Folio, seeing him shake out his hair before putting his hat back on. "He's a Scorpio, what did you expect?" 

“That was fucking rude,” I muttered under my breath. 

"Whether or not they admit it, they both need each other," Jolly smiled down over the cliff. 

Peering over the hood of the car, I saw two faint figures on the beach and sucked in a breath; all the memories from our beach day came flooding back in as Y/N and myself waved up at the group of guys. 

“How hard did she hit me with that sketchbook?” I rubbed at my forehead, still feeling the sting from earlier. 

It was clear that I was dreaming of past moments Y/N and I shared but I couldn’t get over how real and vivid everything was. Almost as if I traveled back in time to these moments and saw it from a different perspective, not my own. 

Why was I dreaming of these moments? Did it have a meaning? Or was it just because my brain was fucked up from all of the fighting Y/N and I had gone through?

Before I could get comfortable in this dreamstate, I felt the darkness creep in on the edge of my vision once again and all at once, my body was thrown through a tunnel only to be spat out seconds later; a different scenery from the last. 

I was now in a hotel room, unsure when and where because frankly from the years of touring the hotel rooms began to blend together. It was then that I got a look at myself in the reflection of the mirror in the room and I sighed. My hair was short, indicating what I already knew. I’d been jumping in between moments from my past. 

“Hi, angel.”

“Hi,” a soft voice broke through the quiet of the room, causing me to look over at the bed. 

No. 

My past self sat on the bed with Y/N, her head in my lap as I ran my fingers through her hair. It was evident no one could see me because I was standing at the foot of the bed, watching as my past self lowered his lips onto Y/N's, capturing them softly. 

Our first kiss. 

My heart fluttered in the confines in my chest, remembering the feeling that filled me that day. Through the dread and intense sadness from losing my best friend that day, Y/N’s unwavering comfort eased away the darkness that crept in. 

“About time, huh? I’d been trying to set you two up for years.” 

My body froze at the voice that lingered in the air; the familiar voice that I hadn’t heard in years.  I choked while whirling around at the voice, ignoring the couple in the bed who were muttering something about Mario Kart. 

The room spun rapidly before I could get my bearings, the floor getting ripped out from beneath me and my body slammed back and forth against the void before I fell onto a couch in yet another room. This one I immediately recognized, all of those feelings of hurt and abandonment crept back in as I let out a shuddering breath. 

My past self, donning those ridiculous braids, dragged a finger over the large tattoo on Y/N’s back as she cuddled the pillow close to her chest, a soft giggle echoing in the room. 

"Way down the road maybe one day in the future- to live in the middle of nowhere with a dog, cats, and a family of my own. In my wooden home that I built."

My eyes screwed shut, knowing what was going to come next. The calm before the storm. All because I asked a stupid question. 

“Think of how far you’ve come from this moment, Noah. It was rough getting there but it was worth it.”

Snapping my eyes open, I glanced around the room looking for his face. It was his voice, surely he had to be here. 

“Where are you?” I said. 

As I blinked, the scene changed yet again and now I was standing in the rain, it chilling me to the bone. Wrapping myself deeper into my hoodie, I gazed around to see my past self standing in the rain as well with Y/N, trying to stop her from getting in her car. 

“What easy way, Noah? This isn’t easy!” Y/N sighed. “None of this is easy!” 

“No it is, actually.” My past self nodded. “Don’t think about anyone or anything else. What do you want from me? What do you want, angel?”

She rapidly shook her head, choking on a sob. “It’s not that simple.”

“What. Do. You. Want?” I watched myself enunciate every word with a pound fist to my chest. 

When Y/N remained silent, I grasped her face to bring her into my warm embrace, even with the rain. “God damn it! What do you want?”

The pain in my own chest was evident, remembering how gut wrenching it felt to ask repeatedly what Y/N wanted. That night had started off great, only to be ruined by Bailey. It was my fault ultimately for not being clearer about our breakup. I tried not to dwell on it much because of how far Y/N and I have come since this night. 

A snicker sounded from my left. “Did you really quote The Notebook? Never pegged you as a romance film kind of guy.” 

Looking at the voice, I let out a gasp when the all too familiar smirk appeared on a face I hadn’t seen in years; one that my heart yearned to see again. His form began to fade in the darkness as it danced around both of us, dragging us back down. 

“No. Please, wait!” I reached for him only to be thrown into yet another memory. 

How long had I been asleep? Did this fucking sketchbook render me useless? Was I passed out on the floor of our bedroom? 

Another thing I couldn’t figure out: why was I being thrusted into my own memory lane?

A commotion of voices halted me as I stood in a crowd of people, still undetected, and when I caught a flash of red, my breath caught in my throat knowing exactly what memory I’d been thrown into. I no longer was soaked to the bone due to the rain; I was dry. 

I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins.

I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend.

The music echoed loudly in the room and I frantically looked for the couch, knowing my past self would have been sitting there. I watched as he rose from his seated position and started to push his way through the crowd, looking for Y/N as our song played; a siren call looking for their lost soulmate.

“This was one of the most irritating moments of my life,” I sighed while crossing my arms over my chest, watching as our past selves kept missing each other. 

“Do you know how hard it was to make sure you guys found each other at the right moment that night?” That voice snickered behind me. 

Whirling around, I saw those eyes that shined bright with so much light. Just like before, the second I caught sight of him, he disappeared before I could grasp him. I wasn’t sure what was more irritating: being thrown around in an imaginary void or not being able to fully see the presence that had been following me. 

For quite longer than I thought, apparently. 

Expecting to be dragged down into another memory, I simply turned on my heels to see I was now standing in a hotel hallway. My past self stood no more than two feet in front of me, hand rubbing at his chest. The words he muttered fell on deaf ears as my eyes locked with the man holding my past self up. I knew I felt someone's arms around me that day, keeping me from falling to my knees. 

“Keaton, I need you, man. Please tell me everything will be alright.” 

As a soft breeze blew past the three of us in the middle of the hallway, I kept my eyes locked with the materializing figure over my past self’s shoulder. 

“You’ve been with me this entire time,” I breathed with the realization. 

He wore a soft smile as he nodded, before slowly fading away. “It’s okay.”

Then all at once, the world around me shifted one final time, throwing me back into my bedroom at home and I fell onto the bed with a grunt. It seemed like I was back to where I was before I went on a dream walk down memory lane, Y/N’s scattered sketchbook on the floor at my feet. Movement in front of me caught my eye as I slowly rose and tentatively walked over to the bathroom, seeing Y/N and me standing there. Both of them were standing in the middle of the bathroom with bright and hopeful smiles. 

“I don’t remember this,” I said with my hands on my hips. 

I watched as Y/N wrapped herself around his midsection, both of them swaying to something before they looked over to the phone on the bathroom counter with even wider smiles. 

"Should we post it?" She asked.

Other me smiled bright, love filling those once dark eyes. "Instagram story. On there less than twenty four hours. Once we post it, lets turn off our phones to just focus on us."

“How’s she doing?

Jumping at the voice over my shoulder, I finally saw him standing in front of me and not in the ghost form he’d been all those times before. 

“Keaton,” I breathed, almost immediately wrapping my arms around him in a hug. 

His infectious laughter echoed when I tackled him. “Good to see you too, Noah.” 

We stayed like that for a long moment, trying so hard to ingrain how it felt to hug my best friend again into my memory and when we eventually pulled away, I sniffled while whipping away a stray tear. 

“I miss you so much, man,” I admitted with a shaky breath. 

“I’m always with you, Noah. Right here,” Keaton pointed to my chest then to the tattoos on the side of my hands. “And right there.” 

Ignoring the couple behind me in the bathroom, not knowing what they were waiting for, I kept my attention on Keaton. 

“You know, when I'm sleeping I sometimes talk with you. But every time I wake up, it’s like I'm waiting for a miracle.” 

I sniffled one more time with a shrug before continuing. “Maybe when the night comes, I'll find you in another world.”

“I’m not the miracle you need, Noah. But believe, it’s closer than you think.”

“Huh?” I asked, not quite sure what he meant by that.

“How’s she doing?” Keaton asked again, the colors in the room suddenly fading away, only to be replaced with a bright white light. 

My brows furrowed. “Who? Y/N?” 

Instead of answering, his smile reached his ears and bid me a final goodbye with a wink before turning on his heels and walking farther into the void of white. 

“What do you mean?!” I called out after him, desperately wanting to run after him but my feet wouldn’t move, feeling heavier than concrete. 

“In time the price of peace will cost us everything but all the love you leave carries on,” Keaton’s voice spoke in my mind one final time. 

A loud gasp fell from my lips as I sat up in bed, covered in a thick sweat as it lingered on every inch of skin. The fabric of my shirt clung to my back as I frantically looked around the room, my heart nearly bursting out of my chest. I was back in my bedroom and noticed that the sketchbook wasnt where it previously was. Matter of fact, neither was the broken picture Y/N threw at me before the sketchbook. 

My gaze locked on the date that was shining bright on our alexa home screen causing me to cock my head slightly at it, air catching in my throat. 

No. 

No way. 

It was not possible. 

“Clearly I’m dreaming again,” I murmured to myself before pursing my lips and pinching my thigh. 

“Nope, not dreaming,” I yelped in pain. 

The bed shifted next to me causing me to look down at the naked form on Y/N as she lay in a tangled mess of bedsheets and blankets. 

“Hmm,” she hummed with a smile after setting her phone down on the pillow next to her. “Astrid and Faye want to meet up with me today. I guess they both have some special news they want to tell me.” 

I blinked. “Huh?” 

“I guess something happened after The Ghost Inside set with Faye last night and Astrid found out something pretty important,” Y/N said. 

I could barely speak, still being dumbfounded with the date on the Alexa home screen. 

“Maybe I'll invite them over once I'm back home from the art store. I figured it'll be alright since you have therapy and we’re not going to dinner until four,” she sat up while letting the sheet fall to her lap. 

I was still in a state of shock that I couldn’t even gaze at her perfect breasts, my mind whirling with so many different emotions. All I could do was numbly nod.

“I must say,” she smirked while brushing away the hair from my face, laying a kiss on my lips. “It’s always great to wake up to you every morning. But on my birthday, it’s extra special.”

[frightenedcricket]

Decay Part 1: The fall.

Noah Sebastian x OC. Angst.

Summary: Noah and Abby's friendship starts trembling when Abby develops unhealthy habits. No one knows why, no one dares to ask, but everyone is scared.

Notes: this is fiction. It's long af so I will make it a multi part thing

Warnings: themes like alcoholism, alussions to S. A. (it doesn't happen), self-destructive behaviors are touched in this fic. Read at your own discretion.

He didn't know where or when it started. But he was alert whenever she was around. They all had seen her decay in the past weeks and it was obviously taking a toll in them. But it was Noah the one worrying the most.

Abby wasn't one to tell anyone her problems. Not even Noah. She didn't want to be a weight on anyone's shoulders. She had told them when she had broken up with her partner. They knew about the impact it had on her and how she needed to stop touring for a few weeks. But that was it. That was the further they knew about her fears and personal life. They didn't know how recently her mind had been plagued by those thoughts... She was hurting herself, her own mind playing games, and no one truly know. They didn't see more than they joyful friend getting wasted night after night.

They were in a random gas station. The bus needed to stop and they had just left the city. It was past 3 am and they were all tired.

Noah left the public restroom he had just washed his teeth in and looked around. It was dark and kind of misty. The bus was only a few meters away. He could see the lights and also some of the guys moving inside. But as soon as he started to walk in that direction, he heard a group of three men talk.

"Yeah, there's a chick in there." He stopped walking and turned in the most discreet way he could. They were next to a truck smoking. "And she was pissed drunk"

Noah felt cold. They were talking about her. Abby had drunk too much. It was kind of a habit right now, that was what had them worried.

"I'm sure she is easy to convince" Another one said.

"My house is right down the road"

"No way we are taking her to your house, dude! I'll drive down there and then we can bring her-"

The door opened and Noah tensed. The three men turned to her, they hadn't seen Noah standing there or didn't care about him. One of them started to walk, but Noah moved faster.

"Babe! Here you are. I though you were already in the bus"

Noah took long steps to her and pulled her closer to his body. The three men froze.

"Let's go" He muttered when she clinged into his waist.

"Yeah... I'm a bit dizzy" She muttered. "You called me babe"

Noah's heart wanted to come out of his chest. Yeah, he could fight, he was big and well trained. But those men were three and he didn't know if they were armed. Plus by how they spoke... If he had walked to the bus... He pulled her closer and kissed her head.

"Hey, what took you so long?" Folio was smoking outside the bus.

"Hey, Folio. Do you have some..."

"No, he doesn't"

Noah and Nick shared a look.

"Let's go inside and you can go to sleep" At least she had her sweats and hoodie on. They wouldn't need to get her out of her work clothes.

"Oh C'mon. I'm fine"

Noah had to help her to get on the bus. With a loud sigh, she let herself fall on the sofa. "I will sleep here, okay?"

"Abby..."

"I get dizzy in the bus"

"You wouldn't if you didn't drink like that" Matt groaned.

"Matt" Noah didn't need to say more. His stern gaze made everyone shut up.

Noah ended up sitting with her because once the bus started moving she got worse.

The next day, she was still sleeping there when the others came back from having breakfast. Luckily, tonight they had hotel rooms.

"Abby?"

"Mhm... My head..."

"Yeah, I brought you painkillers."

"You are an angel"

Noah sighed and moved her hair out of her face. Abby stared into his eyes for long seconds. She loved them. So dark but so sweet and warm. She wished for that pain in them to wash away.

"You stayed last night?"

Noah shook his head. After a while his neck had started hurting and he moved to his bunk. He wanted to take care of her, but it was starting to consume him.

"Oh" She wouldn't admit she wanted him to stay. That was the last thing she wanted to do because it would only make it worse.

"Get ready, okay? We have the soundcheck in an hour and Dierkes is not happy"

She nodded.

The thing was that, with all her problems, she still showed up everyday at work, on time and gave the most of her. It was on her free time when she did all the damage.

During the day, Abby was her usual loving shelf. She was there for everyone, she seemed happy.

Soundcheck was smooth. They didn't have mayor problems.

"Movie night?" Noah said during lunch.

"Oh yes! There is this new one... Fuck. I don't remember the name" Folio started talking about the film, but Noah's eyes moved over to where Abby sat. She was on her phone, not paying much attention. He felt something on his chest. She used to love movie nights.

She didn't make it to watch the movie.

"And Abby?" Noah cautiously asked when the last one of the guys arrived.

"Uh..." Nicholas cleared his throat. He had been there for a while already, but didn't have the guts so say it. "She has a date"

Noah frowned.

"A date? We got here yesterday"

"Tinder" The bassist muttered.

Noah's humor switched completely. He tensed and his expression turned icy.

"Noah" Bryan grabbed his shoulder, but he moved away.

"It's fine. Turn that film on"

The next morning, when Jolly was leaving his room for breakfast when Abby stumbled out of the elevator. The man groaned and quickly moved to her.

"Hey"

"Where were you?" Jolly was cold, probably too much because she flinched a bit.

"With a friend" Abby muttered. Her mind kept running around the things that had happened. She wanted to shower.

Jolly didn't tell Noah about the encounter, but he told everyone Abby was already on her room. They sighed in relief. Noah felt the tension leaving his shoulders. At least she was back. The men from the gas station hadn't left his mind for a second.

It was the first time she was late for work. But again, she did everything good. She was only a bit slower than other days.

"Are you okay?" Noah asked. She had lifted a box and had groaned.

"Yeah... I didn't expect it to be this heavy"

Noah nodded. There were dark circles under her eyes and her skin was pale. She had tried to hide it with make up but it didn't work.

"Uh... Sorry for not going last night" I'm the bottom, Abby was fully conscious of her actions. She knew what she was doing, she knew that it was hurting Noah. But in those moments, fear and anxiety washed over her and she simply couldn't stand being there.

The signer shook his head.

"It's okay. It was awful anyway" He didn't want to give her a excuse, a reason... But he didn't want to admit that he hated her last night, that he hated she was there with some random dude and had skipped movie night for sex. He didn't want to be that person. He didn't want to be jealous.

"Folio, right?"

Noah nodded and she laughed softly. That was like a present on Christmas.

But Noah's mind keep turning over the same spot. He needed to keep her close. To keep an eye on her. But he didn't know how. He felt this urge to protect her from the world.

"Man..." Matt sat next to him after the show. They had gone to have a couple of drinks in a bar and Abby already had her first beer. "It's not healthy"

"I know, I just don't know how to tell her-"

"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about you. We all know that whatever she is doing it's not healthy"

"About me?"

Noah frowned. The manager nodded slowly. "You are not yourself."

"Well, I'm worried. You know why" He had tried to be subtle about it and keep it a secret. But he had already told more people than he could count with his hand. He was head over heels for her. He was for a long time.

"Noah... You don't have to save her"

Noah looked away. It was like cold water. Something he already knew but didn't want to be told.

"I have been in bad places too, Matt. I want to help her, she can't do it alone"

"But it's not your responsibility, okay? She is our friend. We can help her, but we... You can't do it for her"

Noah ran his hands over his hair and looked for her. The groan was loud.

Abby was standing there with a man and his hands were dangerously low. She took a shot and the man grabbed his cheeks harshly. Noah couldn't tear his eyes off them. He kissed her and Noah felt nauseous.

"Noah"

"Yeah" Finally, he leaned back against the chair and look at Matt. "It's hurting me"

Well, his therapist would be proud.

Nicholas found them on the table and sat, instantly feeling the tension.

"Is this about..."

"Yeah"

Nicholas, being the best friend, flesh and bone, the guy who had been there for so long, leaned forward on the table.

"I know you are in love with her. It's not easy for me to see her doing this, I can't imagine for you... But it's not healthy... Are you even happy?"

Noah looked down at his hands. Suddenly, the tattoos that covered them for years were the most interesting thing in the world.

"No..." He was happy touring, with the band, his job. All of that was everything that he ever wanted. But now there was a dark cloud that would let him see all of those good things he had.

Unconsciously, his eyes moved to her but she wasn't there. The anxiety grew on his chest as he got up.

"She was with- I have to go"

"Noah, no"

They couldn't stop him. When he stepped outside, the air was way colder and humid than when they arrived. He heard her laugh and looked to the right. She was with that man next to a car. He took mental notes of everything he could, and last but not lest important, wrote the plate number on his phone. Then, he knew he shouldn't, but he did it any way.

"Abby!"

Her face turned to him and she smiled. His heart broke even more.

"Hey! Noah!"

He causally walked to them, making eye contact with the man.

"Where are you going?"

"Uh... With Harry" She couldn't stand looking into his eyes. There was somthing turning on her stomach.

"We leave early tomorrow"

"Uh"

"Who is this, flower?"

"This is Noah" She said while looking at him. There was something on her eyes he couldn't read. "A friend"

Noah felt his heart clench. He wasn't just a friend.

"W-we leave early tomorrow"

Abby seemed to think about it. They would leave at 8.30 am.

"Yeah, I... Uh... I'll try to make it."

"No, you have to be there"

Abby bit her lip and Harry scoffed.

"Dude..."

Noah shot him a look and he rolled his eyes.

"Listen. If I'm not there at 8... I'll send you my location as soon as we arrive at his. Just come and pick me. He lives down the road."

Noah felt a sour taste on his mouth. He didn't want to let her go. He didn't want her to be alone.

"Okay" He said defeated.

He watched them leave, feeling how he was loosing her more and more each night that passed.

When he came back, they were all in the table.

"She left."

"Dude, we leave early tomorrow. Why did you let he-" obviously, Matt didn't like the idea of a crew member spending the night out when they had an early morning. But Noah didn't want to hear any of that.

"Stop with that bullshit" He cut him while he sat. "You can't tell me it's not my responsibility but then give me shit for her leaving"

Matt went quiet.

"Noah, you can talk to us."

And Noah let himself go. He spoke for minutes.

"And... The other night at the night station... There were these men... They wanted to hurt her. They were talking about taking her somewhere and... How drunk she was..."

Everyone in the table felt guilty. Abby was their friend, but even when Noah and her had a different bond, they were all together in this. They had left Noah carrying with her and her problems for too long.

"Noah..."

"I feel... I'm scared because she gets pissed drunk every night and leaves with someone else... And I'm scared something happens to her and I'm not there like I was in the gas station. If I had left the restroom a minute earlier I wouldn't have heard them and... "

"Hey, no. But you were there" Nicholas said.

"I'm not there now"

They all went quiet.

"Maybe it's time to talk to her" Folio muttered. "I miss her"

Everyone looked at the drummer.

Those words sounded on everyone's minds for the whole night. Eventually, they went back to the bus and to sleep. But with every little sound, Noah would wake up thinking she was already there. She was back. But she wasn't. The morning came and her bunk was empty. 7.30 am.

Noah was sitting outside with Nicholas and Bryan. The morning was fresh but nice. It was sunny and it warmed their cold cheeks. They were quiet, all of them thinking the same.

"Hey" Bryan muttered.

Away and walking slow, a figure was getting closer. Noah straightened his back and fisted his hands.

"She doesn't seem drunk" Bryan muttered.

Matt walked down the bus too.

As soon as was close enough to see her properly, Noah got up.

"Abby"

There was make up under her eyes and her hair was tied in a messy bun. He wondered if she had seen herself, if she had even checked a mirror.

On the side of her neck, there were various purple marks. But it didn't worry Noah. What worried him was pink shade of her cheek and marks over her throat. Those were definitely not love bites.

"Abby, what happened to you?"

Everyone else was frozen.

"Nothing" She wasn't drunk this time. But she couldn't look at him. "What are you talking about?"

Abby wanted to go inside and wash herself. Then, she would just hide in her bunk until they arrive to the next city.

"Abby, have you seen yourself?"

Noah tried to reach to her but for the first time ever, she moved away. Noah felt lost. That was it, right? The end.

"Noah, I'm perfectly fine. Mind your own business"

Nicholas stood up ready to cut that as soon as needed.

Noah's blood was boiling. He was so done.

"Perfectly fine?" He grabbed her jaw and arm and she closed her eyes. But it didn't feel like last night. Noah was careful. He was furious but still grabbed her with so much care. "Has someone hit you? Abby, this is serious. This are finger marks..." His thumb moved over the marks on her throat.

She was on the verge of tears, but she wouldn't give him that. She wouldn't give them the pleasure. She didn't want an I told you so. So she did what her mind told her it was the best. What she had been doing recently. She pushed things a bit more. She pushed them closer to ruin.

"What? Haven't to heard about hard sex before? Haven't you ever slapped a girl with your cock in her mouth? Didn't think of you as the vanilla guy, Noah"

The smile on her face made him want to vomit. This wasn't his Abby.

"Go inside, Abby" Nicholas put some distance between them. He was done with these bullshit. "Wash yourself. We leave soon"

Noah's hands fell to his sides. He was tired. He wanted to sleep for hours. He wanted to scream and hit something. He was exhausted but full of energy. There was a hurricane of thoughts in his mind. These marks, her smile, her hurtful words... They way she didn't seem to care about anything. He was tired of it all. He was getting tired of her.

Abby closed the door in that small cubicle they called toilet. With a look in the mirror she started crying. She felt awful, tired, dirty; she hated her guts, she was full of rage; she was purposefully destroying the best thing she had only because she was feeling things she couldn't deal with. It was overwhelming.

Maybe what Noah and Abby had was just a friendship. But years of touring together had developed a bond like no one else's in the whole crew. Noah only had eyes for Abby and Abby couldn't go through the day without Noah.

"Abbs" Folio's sweet voice made her stop crying.

"Yeah"

"Are you-"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Don't worry".

Folio leaned against the door. "We are all here for you"

She covered her mouth and silenced a sob.

"Just... Take your time. We'll be outside, okay?"

As soon as Folio left, she was her face and hid on her bunk. She wasn't brave enough to face anyone - specially Noah -, so she chose to leave that for Future Abby.

The pre-show was tense until Abby left the green room to go to her designated place. Then Noah seemed to relax a bit without her presence around.

They hadn't even look at each other in the whole day. Which everyone understood. They didn't want to pick sides, but everyone admited to be more on Noah's.

The show was good, apart from the signer forgetting the lyrics a couple of times. It had nothing to do with his eyes meeting Abby's. Nothing.

There was not a post show. They decided to crash on the bus.

But it was suffocating. Noah wouldn't look at her. Matt was cold. Nicholas was tense around her... She could list every single one of them. She had been sitting in silence for an hour. Noah was also there, but across the room. He was busy playing some cards and seemed relaxed - he was just good pretending he was fine. The air was warm and getting dense even though they had a couple of windows open. It was raining outside.

There was that thing on the back of her mind again. Scape. So she grabbed her phone and open that damn app. Five minutes later she already had a guy to busy her night. Without saying a word, she got up and disappeared in the toilet.

Everyone thought she just needed to use it. But then the door opened and she had changed her clothes and put some make up on. The bit marks had faded during the day, but not the finger marks. Her face wasn't really swollen or red anymore but she had put effort on covering it anyway.

Noah's response was automatic.

"Where are you going?"

Abby froze for long seconds. There were so many eyes on her.

"Out. I'm bored" She put that mask on again. She didn't care. She wanted to have fun. She wanted to enjoy herself. It had nothing to do with hiding those scary feelings. It wasn't a way to protect herself by just getting damaged.

"It's raining and we are in the middle of nowhere" Noah added.

"I called an Uber. It's almost here."

Noah got up and she felt small, like a little mouse in front of an enormous black cat.

"You can't go"

"I definitely can. Not your business." She moved to the door but Noah was faster.

He stood in the stairs blocking the door. Being some steps lower he had her on eye level.

"Noah, move"

"No"

The guys stayed in silence, there was a place to speak in there. It was just Noah and Abby.

"Noah" She groaned. She got a notification in her phone. "My Uber is here. I have to meet a guy in twenty minutes. Move"

"I'm not moving."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I care about you" He simply said.

He was calm. Way too calm. They had barely see him like this. It was disturbing.

"No, you don't. If you did you let me go"

That truly was the last drop. The air turned even thicker and Noah finally snapped.

"Don't dare to say shit like that again. Because I care. I care so damn much" He pointed a finger at her and Abby hugged herself.

She had fucked up, finally.

"If I didn't care about you I wouldn't have spent so many nights away thinking o where you were or wondering if you are okay. Because you keep getting drunk until you can't stand and then dissappear with the first person that answers your phone. And I have to stay here. I stay here and wait for you to come back every single night. And I wonder if you will. Because... Fuck. You leave and you don't tell us where you are going, alone, in an unknown city. God knows with who... And I don't know what they are capable of..." The gas station men popped back in his mind. "Well, I do. That's what scares me the most. You leave and then you come back covered in marks and with a swollen cheek and you say it's fine. But it's clearly not. Because you keep doing this to yourself. You are hurting yourself. You gent wasted every night, disappear, then come back the next morning stumbling through that damn door, you sleep for the whole day, work for a bit and then all over again. And I want to help you but I don't know how. Because I don't know how it started or when. I just know that this Abby who is destroying herlsef doesn't feel like my friend Abby."

Abby had starred crying at some point. She couldn't look at him in the eye because it was so scary to face the truth.

"It's obvious you are hurting and I wish I knew why. I have been this low too and I know how hard it is. I'm terrified something happened to you that lead you to this and I missed it." Noah stopped and took a deep breath. "I want to help you but I don't know how"

The guys were in silence. Noah's words fell over them like cold water. Folio even had to brush a tear away.

"And I really don't care with who you have sex. I just want you to be safe." Noah took a deep breath. "That's why you are not leaving tonight. I'm not letting you leave. And I don't care if I have to tie you to the chair. You are staying here tonight."

Abby was shaking and feeling to weak to stand on her own. That was it. There wasn't nothing to say. He was right. She wasn't fine, it wasn't okay, she had put herself in situations she wished she hadn't. Only because she had been so scared to acknowledge her feelings.

"Okay" She muttered.

Everyone sighed in relief. Nicholas let his head fall on the table, Matt on his hands. Jolly patted Folio, who had dropped a couple of tears again. Bryan had to look away, he wasn't used to see the drummer like this.

"Yeah?" Noah asked softly, his eyes full of hope.

"Yes"

The singer opened his arms for her and she didn't doubt. They hugged tight, Noah supporting almost her whole weight. Abby cried and cried, her shaky and weak body not being able to restrain the sobs anymore. Minutes passed and they eventually moved to the sofa.

Sweet Folio was quick, he went and covered her with a blanket.

"You must be cold"

"Thank you" She whispered. She felt awful in her clothes now. Clothes she had chosen only to be more attractive for a man she didn't know. But now the blanket and Noah's arms covered her. And he held her with so much care.

At some point she stopped sobbing and the room felt light enough that the guys resumed their cards game. There was music on the background and everyone was way more relaxed. Things wouldn't be easy, but for now they could only rest and forget about all for a second.

Noah kept repeating his words over and over again, beating himself for having been, maybe, too harsh.

"Noah" She whispered.

He looked down and cupped her cheek gently, brushing some tears again and fixing her hair.

"Mhm"

"I'm going to change, okay?"

"Of course, do you want to go to bed?"

She shrugged.

"I don't think I can sleep"

"That's fine. Just come back when you finish"

Abby nodded. When she sat, she looked at him and sighed. It was time to face reality. But for now she would rest. There was a long day tomorrow. She leaned and kissed his cheek.

Noah was blushing. He was blushing so hard when she left and closed the curtains that decided the bus.

He turned to look at the guys and then moved to sit next to them.

"You good?" Jolly asked.

Noah nodded. "I am. I feel better."

"Yeah, she is here" Folio added. They didn't see Abby in the same way, but she was too precious for them.

"Yeah"

"Will you tell her about..." Nicholas started.

"I will. Just... Not now" Noah pinched his hand. "But I will. It's worth it"

Nicholas smiled at his friend. When Abby was fine, months ago, he kept telling Noah about it. He wouldn't shut up. But Abby made his best friend happy and Nicholas only wanted the best for him.

They, being themselfs, didn't pay attention and never thought that the brown curtain didn't stop sound. And Abby was on the other side wondering what it all was about.

She reappeared a few minutes later on her pijamas and sat with them, finding a spot next to Noah and quickly asking if she could play.

"It's nice to have you back" Folio said after a while, making everyone smile.

The next morning came fast and she found herself following Noah to a coffee shop. They had stay awake with thst game for too long and everyone was in high need of caffeine.

Abby didn't leave his side for a minute.

"Abbs" He called her after finding a table. "Do you wanna sit for a bit?"

"The others..."

"They can wait"

Abby nodded, there was a conversation hanging in the air and it was the moment.

She sat in front of him and Noah grabbed his hands.

"I have been thinking and... I don't want to pressure you to tell me anything if you are not ready." He stated. "I was a bit harsh last night. And I'm sorry if anything I said hurt you"

"It's okay" She muttered. "Believe me it is. I was waiting for it to happen"

Noah frowned a bit.

"Noah... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything."

"Abby, you did not... You don't have to..."

"I did it on purpose. I was feeling things and it got out of control so I... I became a bitch"

Noah closed his eyes for a second and grabbed her hands harder.

"Abby... I know you don't feel it like that but... This is a much bigger problem. This is something we need help with. For now... I'm just happy to have you back and to help you the best I can."

He didn't want her to blame herself because he knew how dark one's mind could get.

Abby blinked the tears away.

"Okay?"

She nodded and dried the tears.

"Noah... I..."

"Okay, breathe"

She took a deep breath and before speaking, she kissed his knuckles.

"I have to tell you something. Because I think it is what has led me to this"

Noah nodded. In the end, this was what he needed to know the most. He wanted to understand.

"I think I have feelings for you. But I don't want you to... I don't know. It's so confusing. I don't want yo to feel you have to do something or say something. But it's very scary because the last times I loved someone it ended in the worst way. And I am scared of going through this with you. Because you are so precious and important to me. You are not just some random guy. I know it's not a justification, but I wanted you to know"

Noah was speechless. He wanted to ask why she hadn't said anything, but he wasn't in a place to speak either.

"Abby... I'm sorry"

She closed her eyes. There it was, rejection.

"I'm sorry you felt like this. And I can't promise it won't end horribly. But I can promise you I will give everything I have to keep you close"

Abby took a deep breath, his words sinking slowly.

"Noah... What do you..."

"It's not time, I think we need you to get better first. But I have feelings for you too. I wish I had told you sooner, though"

A tear fell down her cheek and Noah leaned to brush it. His thumb nested on her cheek.

"Look at me"

She did. She couldn't look away even if she wanted to.

"We'll get through this. You have me and the guys. We are all here for you"

She thought of Folio's words and smiled. She turned her face and kissed his palm.

"Thank you" Her voice was weak, but Noah heard her perfectly.

"We all love you, okay? I love you"

She nodded. "I love you too, I wish it wasn't that scary"

"That's fine. It won't be soon"

She nodded.

"I can't have you right now, Noah. But I will get better"

"That's fine for me. I'll be here"

The bartender called his name and snapped their bubble. "Time to go, ready?"

"Yeah, I'll go to the toilet real quit"

Noah nodded and waited for her outside, it was sunny and he felt warm, but it was because of her. It hurt to hear her say this all had happen because of him - in some way-. But it had also given him hope. Hope because she wanted to get better.

"Hey Noah" She appeared with a shy smile. "I know what I said about waiting... But..."

He smiled at her awkwardness. "I'm waiting miss"

"A kiss? Maybe... If you want to, of course. I'm just... It's dramatic. But I'm dying for it"

Noah laughed and stepped closer to her, his hands were occupied with the coffee so he couldn't touch her. But he leaned and Abby found him halfway. Their lips touched for them first time and Abby felt herself blush. He was so soft when kissing. It didn't last much but they both pulled back smiling.

"Okay... That was really nice"

Noah chuckled. "I think I can give a few of those once in a while"

She nodded. "I'll be happy" she didn't let go of his face for a moment, forcing him to look at her.

"Sorry for hurting you. And for being mean"

Noah nodded. "I forgive you"

"Thank you"

Noah kissed her forehead.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah, Matt texted me begging for the coffee."

Noah chuckled and started walking with her by his side. There was a scary walk in front of them, but for now this was more than enough to make him smile.

This one ended up being reaaally long for my liking so I had to part it. I'll be writing and posting the following parts soon. It won't be too long, probably 2-3 parts.

I hope you like it!!!

Part 2. Bring back the pieces.

[ov105]

Noise

After dealing with some well-expected writer’s block, here’s the follow up to Hush! It may or may not be a disappointing follow-up for some. I just think it’s aight, though. Nothing too fantastical, but nothing disappointing. I hope you enjoy it as much as I pictured it. 

4,673 words of Park Sieun

Enjoy!

"Yah, that wasn't your first time, wasn't it?"

Sieun asked a little louder after her earlier whisper as we continued down. I just scoffed.

"Eh, no, I mean, not yours either."

"Well," Sieun went shy. Like a flower closing at sunset, shrugging, "When I said it's been a while, eh."

"What?" I quizzed. She went quiet, queasy even, juggling in her head whether to spit out what was on her tongue. I just brushed it off. I couldn't exactly be mad either and badger her about it unless I wanted to end what we'd agreed up there. We also needed to get out of campus.

It was a bit of awkward silence as we entered into the somewhat cold air. By this time, Sieun would've taken her grip off my elbow, but she hadn't. She sighed as we made the street to the gate.

"So, by a while, I've only had sex once."

Sieun waited this long just to tell me that?

"So, what's the deal?"

"Oh, nothing. I just thought you wouldn't take it well, somehow," Sieun warily replied, and why would I feel indifferent? It's not exactly a surprise. There are worse.  

"So where'd you pick that up, then?" I asked her, referring to the obvious.

"Manhwa, porn, and some reading," she replied, "and you know, smut."

"Ah, everybody has read at least one," I replied cheekily. Though now, I was the one being questioned by Sieun. Asking me about my own experiences, though mine, in comparison, was not superior, leaving out the bad experiences that made the rest seem like a fairytale to some. She said she felt a bit anxious, though I wasn't lying that it's been a while since I was even nervous. I was not planning on being too much to handle, though I've been told if I just pushed, I might. I was just vanilla.  

Getting on the bus was a little more populated than the library. Luckily, I didn't recognize anybody, nor Sieun, though we sat there as if we weren't planning to fuck almost the whole night. She just had me put my left hand on her thigh, sandwiched between her thighs as she crossed her legs, but it came at the cost of her bag sitting atop it too. Believe me, however, when I say I've seen hands in between legs at earlier hours, some doing further, and others thinking I couldn't hear dirty talk through my headphones just before the songs changed.

It was a quiet ride. Both of us glued to our cell phones, typing away one-handed with my right, my left hand being the restless fingers that made Sieun close her legs further—trying to deter me from teasing her too much in such a risky setting, only going so far as a lip bite and a message from her to "stop playing around."

Maybe she just didn't want me preempting.

Getting off, we made our way through the back of her building. She typically didn't bring her dates in. Not that, at least the ones I've heard of, made it past the bus station. It was just her living alone, save for the weekend visits of her siblings, though we wouldn't be making our way up if that was the case. Opening the door, she seemed to have second thoughts while she looked around quickly from the doorway, then back at me, as she beckoned me inside. Locking the door, it was her show now.

"S-so, yeah, here it is," Sieun said shyly with a smile, her arms in a gesture to present her apartment. It wasn't a chaebol heiress' stable, not by a stretch, but it was enough for an adulting student.

"Just settle in here," she said, opening her bedroom. Then again, nothing unglamorous. I followed her as she placed her bag on the table. I had just put mine down beside a corner of the bed. I bent down to fiddle with something when the lights switched to the nightstand lamp alone, casting a warm orange glow over the dimmed room as Sieun closed the door.

"Stand up."

Sieun put her hands on my shoulders and said, while we stood before the mattress.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to try this."

Try what?

A single push, followed by her trapping me with her whole body as she climbed on the moment I landed. Oh, that's what she wanted to do—crawling until she was right on top of me. Now, in her bedroom, a place where we weren't to be bothered or paralyzed by shame, her hands moved like lightning, planting her lips and hips firmly on me as our hands snaked around without a care in the world—groping, grabbing, kissing—making out like it was the end of it.

Slowly sitting up, we didn't even break away from each other. Save for the moments when our clothes started to come off. As each one began to pile up on the floor until we only had our underwear, our fingers began making their way down. However, she had the headstart as I was busy trying to figure out her bra, luckily, getting it off without her noticing. Timing it, I pulled her leg closer to me. She was a bit surprised.

What I did next made her freeze, moving my lips down and into her neck—sucking hard enough that I felt a shudder, making her grab me. Uttering gibberish that I was unable to understand, so I just continued. Switching left and right as I felt her eyes dart upward and close, resigning herself to a fate that she, in her own words, had dreamed about. I hoped I was up to the task. Making a mess of her neck as her moans started to rise, but still kept a soft tone, as if she was singing.

She was slowly grinding herself on me, with every touch from my fingertips seemingly sending a shock in her system. Her nipples, which I'd lightly pinched as I groped her tits, made her breath shake, so what more if I sucked on them. Knowing how awkward it would be, I told her to turn over.

As Sieun lay down, I continued where I had stopped. Not even matching her gaze as I knew she watched me slowly inch my way downward. Taking my chances, I flicked her nipple with my tongue, a soft moan, then my lips wrapped and tugged at her tit. Sucking even harder made her louder, just as I had thought. Her flesh became softer. She was melting. She was just half-naked, though. Now I could make out what she said.

"Fuck, yes, just keep going."

Then I got my first look at her face—tiny, cute, dainty—scrunched up into a grimacing mess. It made my boxers feel tighter. The excitement got to my head as I licked down her flat stomach. Her trousers came off far easier than her bra, pulling them off along with her panties—another one for the pile.

So there Sieun laid. Naked, with her legs closed, expecting. I just had to keep control of myself. Suddenly, the bed seemed a lot smaller, though there seemed to be enough space for us not to become uncomfortable.

"Well?" Sieun asked, an eyebrow up.

If she thought I was unimpressed. I wasn't.

Opening her legs, I started to kiss her left thigh, only grazing past her pussy as I moved to the right. Sieun shifted as I pretended to leave hickeys on her thighs. Sticking my tongue out as I traced her labia with it, barely missing her clit as I went down the other way. Empty moans left her mouth as I did so, taking swipes tracing up and down her pussy, making her shudder before rounding up and sucking at her clit, making her burst into a moan that was loud enough to fill the room.

Having struck gold, I reached further. Licking Sieun's clit, again and again, the earlier nervous shifting quickly became a growing shuddering that signaled she was just about to lose her grip. There was something in the way she moaned that made me want to just hear her cum, so I kept on. Retracing what I already did to keep scrambling her head, merely reciprocating what she had done to me while at the library. Luckily, she had the luxury of moaning, and with how loud she was getting, I completely understood why.

Rolling my tongue around her clit, Sieun bit her lip, squealing and moaning as I felt her nails digging and grabbing onto the bed. I wasn't counting, but it didn't take long before her legs began to shudder too. From there, I drew circles and sucked on her clit, sometimes softly, sometimes hard, only pulling my tongue away when she seemed to come close to an orgasm.

Grabbing onto her legs, I kept my tongue in constant motion as I listened to her, which switched in pitch faster than hopping frequencies, from low growls, whimpering, mewling, squealing, moaning, and even yelling. Fighting to keep her own body in control as her back was already arching, and with everything else, it looked messy—an exorcism rite of modesty—and could only go further from there. But after one thunderous yell, which she'd shut up by swinging her mouth over, she said.

"Fuck, you eat me out so good," before continuing, "even I can't do this alone."

"You close?" I asked.

Sieun bit her lip as she met my eyes. A naughty smile curled on her lips before she spoke.

"Make me."

"Alright."

Going back down, I pulled a new trick to make it as intense as possible. I readied my middle finger by releasing my left hand from Sieun's leg. Slowly inserting it into her while I was going all in with my tongue, and let out another cry as the appendage split into her wet walls, no doubt aiding in the ease with which it slipped in. Hooking my finger upward, she threw her head back as I gently massaged her with it, stopping momentarily to find the spot that made it work, rubbing it along with my tongue at her clit.

Dramatic as it looked, Sieun was now quieter, her labored, heavy breaths replacing what had been moans. Though her body shook and rattled, her legs closed around my head, only to part, probably realizing it wasn't her wrist between her legs. Meanwhile, I was just enjoying the final lull, listening to her scrambled breaths and occasional moans, the futile scuffling of hands on the bed, and the jerking of her hip, surprising me as my finger and tongue got the best of her.

"F-fuck," she stammered out. The next thing I heard was a squeal. Then, Sieun yelled.

Holding on to her leg, she jerked as her pussy suddenly tightened around my finger. My lips almost lost her clit—an unnecessary gesture by now—as she exploded right before me, her back freezing for a second in an arch before plopping down. So I perked my head up to see the mess I made of her. She was barely holding on—a petite woman's body writhing from her orgasm. Eyes shut, chest rising and falling, mouth gasping for air. The orgasmic high, in all, lasted a minute. It took her another before she breathed herself back into consciousness. An atmosphere of silence replaced the thundering of moments ago.

Sieun's eyes snapped open as she sat up, looking straight down before meeting my gaze. I sat across from her, looking like I hadn't driven her to orgasm just now.

"You're good."

I just shrugged.

She then put her hand on my legs, rubbing it on my thighs before she called me, putting her lips on me and bringing me down slowly. Almost effortlessly, even.

"Alright, my turn."

Repeating the same way I kissed my way down earlier, the difference being my boxers came off faster. Sieun didn't need to do much work beyond that. With a tight grip, a few strokes, and a swift series of licks were all it took to be ready. I was much less nervous this time, though the sensation when her breath brushed my tip still made me shudder a bit. However, as her mouth was about to take my cock, Sieun let go of it. Instead, creeping upward until I was between her legs. She just left it there.

"Sit up."

So I did, with one hand on my neck and the other stroking my cock. I kept my face close to hers while Sieun tried to tease and make out with me.

"Don’t you think we're making out too much?" I quipped.

"Hey, come on now, let's not rush," she replied.

She put her lips back on mine, though this time, she darted her tongue out.

"This isn't a one-night stand, no?" I asked.

I sighed. She knew I knew the answer already.

"Nope."

"So? Why the rush?" she responded.

Sieun just chuckled before closing the gap between us again. Keeping up with me in two places at once, tongues matching and her hand corkscrewing my shaft. Seeing me shift under her sure stoked her ego, but like me, even when she said otherwise, I knew she had done her homework. As she began to slow down, I knew what would come next.

Asking me if I had any rubber, I just told her where it was. Shy enough to still hand me my wallet and hand it to her myself. Switching positions where, in any case, our heads would be on a pillow. As she returned to the bed, she got it from me, tore it open, and unrolled it down my cock. Straddling me, I was under her with my legs open. She gave me one more kiss before pushing me down.

"Here I go," Sieun whispered as she poked my cock up to her pussy. Seeing her throat contract as she swallowed, she looked at me as she stopped holding herself up and sunk downward. She was tight, fitting for her petite frame, straightening herself and giving me a better look at her face, eyes shut, some tinge of pain. Still, the deeper she went, the revival of pleasure. Our faces, mouths slightly ajar, suspended as I felt her warmth go lower on my cock. I could feel my moan building up as she took me all in. She let out a shaky breath while I shifted and pulled my legs back. I was inside her.

Giving herself a second to catch up, Sieun stared at me before slowly lifting up and back down. She did it again a few times, rushing with no regard. Though her expression and body seemed mismatched, the former tried to absorb it all in, almost telling the latter to stop. However, it only wanted to ride deeper. She was forcing herself to take in every last inch she could. Then she stopped, eyebrows furrowing as she met my gaze, and a rush of breaths came from her.

"You okay?"

Sieun nodded.

"You feel good."

She uttered before continuing on short hops, rendering me frozen for a second as the weight of her crashing down on me struck the match. I only remembered being in the middle of things when I felt her hands bearing down on my chest while she leaned forward a bit; amateur move. She was enjoying herself quite a bit.

Sieun was on top now, but I had no promises for later. Not that there were any.  

Grabbing her hands out of my chest, I put them away and placed mine on her thighs. She quickly grabbed on and wrapped her palms around my wrist. Pulling my legs back a bit more must've hit the spot or given her some confidence. Her song began to rise from the low hum they had been to an alternating mix of sighs and full moans, all while giving me a fantastic view of her riding me. I would be lying if I didn't think it was a beautiful sight, even in the dimmed shade.

Picking up her pace, she took her hands behind her, rising higher now while bringing herself down deeper on my cock. Biting our lips as I felt her tight walls squeezing me while I stretched her out nicely, it seemed. No pain. Just pure pleasure emanated from Sieun, catching her eyes looking ahead before they rolled back and shut her eyes. Relaxing but electrified at the same time as my cock kept striking a spot that had her grip weaken then tighten.

By that point, my hand had slid upwards. I held Sieun just below her hip while she switched off whatever safeties she had left in her head. I thought she was about to cum then and there. Not unusual, though far too early for me. Rummaging her hair a bit, she sighed, grit her teeth, then said.

"Fuck, you feel so good!"

Smiling down at me, mirroring her for a second before she went moaning back into the sexed-up mess she was becoming. She didn't even slow down.

I was huffing as I threw my head back. Beginning to zone out while the repeated knocking on my hip matched those of the headboard. Just a few sounds that, at least, signaled to her she wasn't killing me. But behind the consciousness that I wore, behind my face, I was almost out of it. A loss of cohesion just tells how good it felt.  

I only snapped back when she began grinding on me, a muted groan leaving me as Sieun approached my face—kissing me, so much as a peck, cutting it short and leaving me hanging. I sat up.

"Should I keep going?" she asked.

"Oh, shut up," I replied, putting my lips on hers. Chasing what was taken from me. Sieun waited the entire time until, "Yes, keep going."

I sensed a smirk from her, then continued as she held herself with an arm around my shoulder. It was a slow burn. Any faster would make her drain stamina, having nearly run herself dry, grinding her hips in a rough, rolling motion, which contrasted nicely with her earlier bunny antics.

"You sure manhwa taught you this?" I whispered into her ear.

"I rode my pillows," Sieun answered bluntly, "just like this."

I knew she had to pick it up somewhere.

"So what was that earlier?"

"Oh," she chuckled, "I don't know," shyly responding, "maybe you just make me that horny."

"Sure I do," I replied, with some sarcasm.

"You still don't believe me?" she whined.

I just huffed.

"I do. Your confession was just," I paused, "new."

"It’s the thought that counts," she replied, eliciting a laugh.

But it wasn't as if I had her hooked earlier. I just needed to catch her off guard. After a bit, I told her to switch and lie down on the bed. Just as she grabbed the pillow, aping where I had been when she rode me a bit too hard. The difference was that I could hold her. Taking her to the edge of the bed where I was, she still had her hands on the pillow. She put her legs around my waist as I positioned ahead of her, but before she could talk, I cut her off and thrust in. A loud moan left her as she pulled me down.

I didn't know if she squeezed her walls or just the way I was inside her. Sieun felt much tighter. As I thrust deep, a long, mumbling string of words left both of us. Feeling her hips rise along as I repeated, settling into a slow, erotic pace.

Now I understood what made her go too fast earlier. I shudder when it's too cold. I didn't know that being too tight elicited the same. Gritting my teeth as she grabbed my hands. Now it was her trying to keep me from running away. Pulling me in close, then a peck before saying.

"You feel so much deeper like this."

"I know."

Sieun didn't tell me to speed up. She could probably tell I was just as taken aback by it all. Taking a deep breath before I relaxed—and not cum—enough to keep moving. Only going slow, as it might've ended things prematurely. She looked like she did not mind at all, and while she made out with me half of that time just settled things. Couple that with her switching gazes downward before giving me that damned look. She liked it all right. It wouldn't last forever, though.

Sitting up, I grabbed her legs, and with her looking a bit bewildered, I thrust as deep as I could. It was perfect, with my crotch rubbing against hers. Sieun could only moan so loudly as I repeated it, covering her mouth with a palm as she tried to get it under control. I had no intention of letting her do so. Starting to slowly thrust with her legs held high above, each stroke hitting deep, leaving her with a scrunch on her face while taking it in.

Frankly, it could've gone for longer and looked much better when it wasn't me imitating it.

So I let go and kept thrusting the way I did before, just deeper. Sieun seemed to like it more when there weren't too many surprises, her body adjusting to the pleasure and settling down on her own as I took my hands off, placing them above her hips as her legs closed me in again.

I was thinking of switching. I knew it wouldn't mean too much if I might as well cum now. Any faster, and I could lose it. My own pace collapsed into a dogged attempt at fucking Sieun. Both of us are just ordinary people, even if we tried. She looked like she was on the same verge too.

"You want me to pull out?" I asked her.

"No. Let's switch."

I just sighed, stopping, then pulling out, "Okay."

I thought she was going on all fours, but nope. Teasing me for a bit, I was able to slap and get a grip on her ass, where her thighs rounded up to a dainty package. I was just about to put it in. She got cold feet and pulled away.

"Save that for later," Sieun said, "I want to ride you."

So I lay down. I was switching places with Sieun, now further away from the headboard, only pulling forward with my toes dangling off the mattress. I seemed to have given her an inkling that I loved how she rode so carelessly.

Getting on top of me, she didn't waste much time before we were in the same position we took a few minutes ago. My cock sat just ready to enter her, the difference being she was squatting this time. Odd, but whatever. However, that was not before she threw a wrench into things.

"Oh, one more thing, let's keep this lowkey, okay?"

I nodded and was about to say something when I felt my tip disappear and slid upwards into her. A breath left my lips as the words slipped back into my throat. Sieun, on the other hand, was just indulging herself by now. Typically, I would've just driven it home with her on her back, but this was Sieun. She wasn't a campus crush nor a random girl that charmed me on the train ride home. Besides, I wasn't the one to say we should save some things for later.

However, just as quickly as she started. I noticed her knees. They were shaking, but she was trying to fight through it with her arms in front of her, like a frog. I thought it was silly. Though with how tight her pussy was taking me out, I put the complaint at the back of my head. It felt like she was choking me as the clock ticked downward, both for her and me. She sang the same descending refrain that would destroy me by its chorus.

It never helps that she attempted to gyrate once or twice, almost taking me out.

Putting her legs down for the more usual flair, she began to bounce in a familiar manner. The same way that made her almost cum earlier. This time she looked to finish what she started, riding in long, deep strokes that let me feel every part of her own as she took in mine. Her face began to warp as she took a more dialed-in pace this time, the grip on my wrists telling me not to let her go. Though all the same looking—and feeling—like the perfectly messy cowgirl that only dreams could conjure. The words that left her mouth by this time were the same, though there was an added command, a calm tone barely audible amidst her moaning and squeaking.

I have heard it before. Coming from Sieun, however, it read like a letter of last resort.

"Fucking cum in me."

Just then, telling by her fingers, she let out a loud squeal. Fighting through herself, she suddenly squeezed hard on my cock as she pulled upward. As she sank, it was my turn. Gripping tightly onto one another. Throwing my head back, I joined her. Shutting my eyes and letting out a groan as I felt my orgasm. Another jolt from mine to her. The volume of it as if she hadn't blown me already, and if there wasn't anything, we might as well have been done for. Her mouth hung loose as her moans trailed off, only to rise again as her hips rose shallower and shallower. Her body was both stiff and soft, as with mine, as I filled up the condom. I couldn't tell her, but I knew my toes were curled the whole time. I knew it didn't last long, both the sex and our orgasms, but it seemed like forever.  

Sieun was practically forcing air into herself. Eyes blank. Unmoving. It looked like she had passed out for a few seconds.

"Fuck," she said, "I'm fine, but damn."

"Yeah, me too," I replied, dropping my head on the pillow.

Feeling myself softening up, she removed herself. She remained atop me, then slipped her right hand to face her as she dropped down, kissing me before she rolled beside me into a cuddle. Meanwhile, I got rid of the condom and just laid it aside.

"That was one great fuck."

"Yeah," I sighed, "That's one way to spend Friday night."

She just laughed.  

"It's even better than the manhwas," Sieun responded. I didn't know that it was a compliment or a lame insult. Whatever it was, I was now in her pages, playing, at the moment, a more significant role.

"Yah, Park Sieun, what the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Well," she replied as she sat up, holding her reply until she jumped off the bed, "It just means you fucked me well."

"Oh, so I'm your fuckbuddy now?" I asked as I picked up and threw the condom in the can. Luckily it went on the first try.

"Not really. I mean, didn't I already tell you?" She seemed genuinely puzzled that I was still asking. I asked her again, sighing before turning to me as she closed her cabinet, then threw a towel at me, "we're dating now."

"Dating, huh? Alright," It was a strange first date.

That's the closest to a signature I could give.

"So, you want to grab tteokbokki after this?" she asked.

"Alright, after you wash up?" I told her.

"No," Sieun replied as she opened the lights, now a shadow.

"After we wash up, maybe you got another condom there?"

If only I knew our first date was all about sex. I would've brought more. I just said I did and picked another one from my bag. Giving Sieun another round in the shower, one that had her trying to find a grip on the tiles.

Yes, we shared a big bowl of tteokbokki after.

[13atoms]

just me, in all of my plain jane glory (Lockwood x Lucy Carlyle)

Stuck on the train home, it's just Lucy and Lockwood left overtired and awake. [3.6k]

Contains: hurt/comfort, pre-relationship locklyle, imposter syndrome, body image issues, very brief suicidal thoughts but in a jokey Lucy way, overtired agent babies, train journey, lucy stealing lockwood's hoodie

every time I start struggling with confidence at work I write a locklyle fic. also I’m sorry if this is too political but #ReNationaliseTheRailways

It was customary for Lockwood and Co. to economise on travel wherever possible – as much as Lucy could tell it embarrassed Lockwood and his posh sensibilities. She’d never minded much, the back of a private car or a first class carriage would only make her feel uncomfortable. Trains, then, became a staple part of their larger mansion-clearing jobs.

By now, there was a pattern to the way they travelled. Bustle onto the train with bags reeking of lavender and metal, dump everything on a table surrounded by four seats facing inwards. Letting George sprawl out across two seats guaranteed that no other passenger would dare to join them.  With rapiers at their sides and the clink of chains as the train rolled along, being recognised as agents tended to keep the seats around them empty. Lucy liked the window seat, resting her head against the window and watching scenery rush past her. Lockwood liked being between Lucy and the aisle. George could sleep anywhere – and he did. Often slumped over the kit bags. Overall, catching trains was one of the more well-oiled parts of their operation.

They could always rely on strangers to stay away from them. On George getting a kip ten minutes after they’d left the station. On Lockwood buying them a round of tea and biscuits from the trolley. The trains themselves, though, were less predictable.

Lucy had never thought of the Peak District as particularly far north, but returning from clearing a particularly aggressive Phantasm from Haddon Hall was proving the longest journey she could recall them taking. Through driving rain, their bus to the station had never materialised, so Lockwood had furiously called a taxi, who insisted on extra pay to transport three soggy, sweaty agents. No one had slept the night before, because the job had taken so long, and they’d only made their train because it was late. A blessing, until a technical fault left them stationary at sunset between Derby and Leicester.

A barely-comprehensible voice over the Tannoy told them that an engineer wouldn’t make it out until curfew lifted. Lockwood had found the conductor, offered to escort the engineer himself, and returned rejected and sulking to their empty carriage.

The three of them had played rummy for a bit to cheer him up, cards splayed across the table as night fell outside the window. It was getting cold. Noises and movement outside were enough to make Lucy jump. After twenty minutes their game of cards had fizzled out, and Lockwood hadn’t found anything particularly interesting to read aloud on his second perusal of The Times. After the conductor wandered through with the paltry remains of the first-class catering (and another thanks to Lockwood for his offer), Geroge had fallen dead asleep. Lucy watched him with envy, contemplating opening a fourth shortbread biscuit. The night was so absolute that she couldn’t make out the bushes outside anymore.

Lockwood slumped backwards, toeing his shoes off and resting pink-sock-clad feet on the seat beside George. He sighed, and rubbed a thumb between his eyes.

“I need to fucking learn to drive,” he sighed.

“We live in Central London,” Lucy pointed out.

He shrugged.

“Well we work in the middle of nowhere. What kind of outfit are we, if we need picking up at the station?”

Lucy rolled her eyes.

“You only turned 17 last month.”

Lockwood said nothing, which was as close as he ever got to ceding an argument. They’d spoken for a while longer, first about how they’d get home. Then about how much they wanted showers, and about how jealous they were that George could sleep anywhere. Then, they’d fallen silent for a while, though Lucy knew he was still awake.

“Can you see if my coat is still wet?” she murmured.

It was no surprise, when Lockwood reached over to feel the material, that it was.

“Sorry Luce. I’d give you mine, only…”

The thing wasn’t waterproof in the first place, and still dripped into the luggage rack.

“Of course. Thank you, though.”

“’S okay.”

He watched her for a while, and it only made Lucy feel colder as she tried not to shiver.

“I have a spare hoodie. It’s been worn, but…”

“That’s okay.”

He rummaged around for the hoodie, and made a show of straightening out and folding it just so she could clumsily pull it over her head. Wearing two jumpers, Lucy was sure she looked ridiculous and bulky, but she didn’t care. Copying Lockwood, she shucked off her trainers. Lucy pulled her feet up, jamming her legs between her chest and the table, and finally stopped shivering.

His sleeves were too long, and she pulled them down over her hands, feeling like a kid again, stealing her big sisters’ clothes. Though she could never remember noticing the smell of another person as much as she noticed that Lockwood’s hoodie smelled of him. She tucked her chin into the neckline, feeling the fabric over her chin and her lips.

Because she was cold.

No other reason.

When Lucy looked up Lockwood was watching her, his face not quite reaching amusement. His eyes were too wide. The frown lines had disappeared from his forehead.

“Sorry, I’m stretching it.”

“No!” He insisted, moving his hands but not reaching for her, “No, sorry. Keep it. I’m just tired.”

“Right…”

She settled back in the seat, pulled the hood up, tried to rest against the window before changing her mind. She’d fallen last night, and not had a chance to examine the huge bruise on her hip except for under the fluorescent light of the train toilet. It ached as she shifted her legs.

“I really am so jealous of how he sleeps like that.”

“It’s like a superpower,” Lockwood agreed.

Neither of them slept well. Lucy knew that. She often heard him creeping down the stairs, or turning over and over in bed in the late night silence of the house.

“Maybe he’s drunk or something.”

It was a stupid comment, and Lockwood didn’t pretend to laugh.

“That would explain it,” he murmured.

She liked having the hood up. Liked being in Lockwood’s clothes. Liked that he was there, with her, sharing time with her that George didn’t get. She also knew those were dangerous thoughts.  

“There’s one thing I’ve never understood about you, Lucy,” Lockwood said suddenly.

He was nervous to ask the question, and it made her stomach swoop.

“One thing?” she mumbled, aware of how little she wanted George to wake up and interrupt.

It was the exact type of comment George would make.

“Well. More than one thing. Though I do hope I understand you a bit, I mean, we are…”

He trailed off, and Lucy wondered what he’d been about to say. Colleagues, probably. Or something dafter. Housemates.

“Are you going to ask me, then?”

He wasn’t sure how to find the words. Lockwood leant out from his seat, one long arm bracing himself against the seat opposite as he took another sweep of the train, checking it was empty.

“I know you don’t like me talking about you to the press.”

Lucy rolled her eyes, and groaned just to make him laugh.

“I know! I know,” he insisted, “but you’re so powerful. Types 3s, your listening… This could all be easy for you. And you’re spending an evening trapped on a broken-down Off-Peak train without dinner.”

“We didn’t get lunch, either,” she pointed out, and regretted it when that line reappeared between his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m just teasing, don’t be so soft.”

She was ignoring his question. Thinking about it. Or, rather, about why he’d asked it.

“I know,” he said again.

For a while longer, Lucy looked at the Caledonian Sleeper advert on the wall opposite. Scotland looked nice. She’d never been.

“I just don’t want to see myself in the paper,” she told him.

“I literally do not understand that.”

She knew he was joking, but she’d always suspected Lockwood really didn’t understand.

“Just… I already hate seeing photos of myself with the level of press we do get. And my mum… she’ll see it at the corner shop and buy a copy just so she can tell all her friends I’ve only got here by sleeping around or lying or something –”

Lucy stopped herself. Checked if George was awake. Looked straight ahead at the picture of a castle on the Caledonian Sleeper advert. Lockwood wasn’t saying anything, and she thought maybe if she kept speaking he’d never say anything.

“She always reckoned Mary was the prettiest of us, anyway. No idea why they’d waste ink on that one.”

“Luce –”

“No, it’s fine. I know I shouldn’t care what she’d say. I mean, I might be wrong, even –”

Lockwood’s hand found her arm. Lucy’s head ached. She realised that if she breathed wrong, she’d start crying.

“Sorry,” she murmured, “I think I’m overtired.”

“You can’t be serious?” he asked, and she had no idea which part he meant, so she didn’t say anything. “Lucy…”

“No, it’s fine. Sorry, I shouldn’t have put that on you.”

“No, I’m glad you brought it up. I just… no, sorry. I really can’t understand it. Your mum wouldn’t say that.”

When Lucy laughed, it was wet, and she brought her sleeved hand to her nose.

“No offense, Lockwood, but she very much would.”

“Can I hug you?”

She leant into him, and focussed everything she had on not crying at Lockwood’s arm wrapping around her shoulder. George’s curls were splayed out on the kit bag, his face indented from one of the buckles pressed into his forehead. Lucy was careful not to jostle the table. This was mortifying enough. If George woke up now, she’d have to throw herself onto the tracks.

Lockwood was bonier than Norrie, but not by much. He was warm. They were at a different angle, but even sitting side by side and through a hoodie, she recognised the curve of his cheekbone resting against her forehead. She couldn’t see his face at all when he spoke.

“I’m sorry you think that.”

“I don’t think that, Lockwood. It’s dead true.”

“Well then, I’m very glad you’re here with us. And I hope I’ll never have the displeasure of meeting her.”

“You’d beat her in a duel.”

Lucy tried to joke, but the words fell flat. Her lungs ached for air, but a gasp would be the start of sobs. And she was hoping the hoodie might be maintaining some of her dignity.

“I think I forget, sometimes, because of my parents…” he trailed off. He was heavy against her, “I always imagine anyone with parents is really lucky.”

He meant so well, she hardly had it in her to tease. Stitches were breaking, and Lockwood was offering her an open wound.

“Yeah.”

“Maybe, because I was so young… but I don’t think they’d have ever said anything like that. No one’s parent should.”

Lucy didn’t say anything, she wasn’t sure what she could say. Lockwood was talking more candidly now.

“I wonder if we’d have ever fallen out.”

“I bet fourteen-year-old Lockwood would have gotten into some good screaming matches with them, about sleeping in and cleaning your room” she teased, before backtracking, “but they sound like they’d have always forgiven you.”

“Jess said she’d never heard either of them raise their voices.”

Lucy swallowed something thick and uncomfortable in her throat.

“They sounded really special.”

He nodded, silently, and moved away from her for a moment to clear his throat. In the reflection of the train window, she could see his eyes swimming.

“I hope you don’t believe a word of it, Luce. I’ve never seen a picture where you don’t look beautiful.”

“Yeah, why do you think we never take photos,” she snorted.

“We should take more.”

Lucy inhaled, frustrated, but let Lockwood indulge in his fantasy. It would soon be forgotten. She thought George might have a camera – but fortunately film was strictly saved for taking photos of illegal sources that Flo stole. And maybe the odd photo of Flo.

“You don’t believe I will,” he said.

“I just hate it when the press takes photos. I don’t want to have to see my mug on some paper on a train,” she gestured at Lockwood’s copy of The Times, folded and discarded. “And then they’ll just make up gossip, to try and get a scoop… I saw what happened to Marissa, and she was like some… model.”

Lockwood mock-gasped, though she could still hear the thickness of tears in her throat.

“Lucy Carlyle, reducing a woman to her looks – you of all people, Luce –”

She shoved against him, and then let her shoulder stay pressed to his. Lockwood didn’t flinch.

“Shut up, you know what I mean. Besides, I’ve seen the poster in your old wardrobe…”

“I’d rather have a Lucy Carlyle poster.”

“Ew.”

Even as she let her voice fall flat, Lucy could feel the blush threatening her cheeks.

“Not like that!” He was insisting, “I had a Tom Rotwell poster too. Agents I admired.”

“I’m not judging, Lockwood… whichever way you swing.”

It was Lockwood’s turn to squirm, even though they both knew she didn’t mean anything by it. Lucy used her secret window-reflection trick to watch his mouth fall open and closed again. He moved away from her to throw his head back against the train seat.

“I’m trying to be sincere, and you’re being mean,” he complained, voice sotto as midnight approached.

When his head lolled towards her, all soft eyes and long lashes with dark smudges settled beneath them, Lucy couldn’t stand to keep eye contact.

“We should get posters made. Best looking agency in London, I reckon,” he drawled.

Now Lockwood was being mean. Or delusional, maybe. He had the capacity for either.

“We absolutely shouldn’t.”

“I think they’d do them as a Sunday special in The Spectral Scene.”

He was smiling now, all sharp white teeth, and Lucy hated how he could control her moods so quickly.

“A whole new generation of teenage Anthony Lockwoods could have us on their walls,” he teased, head lolling against her shoulder in exhaustion.

“We absolutely should not do that. Besides, I don’t exactly look like an agent. I’m not sure anyone would want me on their wall.”

Lockwood’s mood shifted again, and brought hers with it, right into the realm of deadly serious.

“What the hell does that mean? You’re the best agent I’ve ever worked with.”

“You know what I mean,” she waved him away.

“No, I don’t. You don’t really mean what you said about your mum? About photos? Jesus, Lucy.”

“I know it’s not all about looks, but I guess… I’m not Marissa.”

Lockwood was about to interrupt, but Lucy spoke over him.

“I know, but you’re the only person who thinks of me like that.”

“And George.”

“Well yeah, George. But that’s because of you.”

“It absolutely isn’t, Luce. He’s worked with you as much as I have, he knows how good you are.”

“I’m not… I don’t know. Sometimes I just wonder if I’ve gotten lucky, over and over again… I make mistakes literally every day. You said that yourself – that I’m volatile and insubordinate and overly-emotional –”

“I don’t remember ever saying that! Ever! And even if I had, you bloody well shouldn’t believe it. You saved Lockwood and Co., we’d… we’d be nothing without you.”

Poorer, that voice in her head reminded her, they’d be financially poorer without you, Lucy. He’s worried you’ll leave again, and that then people won’t book Lockwood and Co. for their big spooky houses. No wonder he wants you in the newspapers.

She often wondered if Skull had left his jar and moved into her brain. But no, that was all her. All the weakness that lived up there. Kat wasn’t like this. Flo wasn’t. Or George. Or…

“If I was really as good as Marrisa, I wouldn’t find this all so… hard,” she snapped.

“Maybe you find it hard because you beat yourself up over every little mistake!”

Lucy didn’t speak. Not for a while. She felt like Lockwood had physically stuck a hand through her ribcage and into her heart. The tears were back, after she’d tried so hard to keep them at bay. She looked at the Caledonian Sleeper poster. Thought about running away on it. Things had worked out, the last time she bought a train ticket and didn’t look back. She’d had less to lose, then.

Or maybe not. Lockwood knew now. That she wasn’t as good as she projected. The girl who lied about her Grade 4 and was the most powerful listener since stupid bloody Marissa Fittes, and goaded a ghost in a jar all day. She’d never earned this. Wasn’t anything special. If she was put in the newspaper, they’d all know. The whole of London would see right through her, and they’d find out about the Mill, and about her family, and every single time she’d not been good enough.

Lockwood was overtired and exasperated. So was she. Her heart ached where he’d stabbed at it with his fingernails.

“Goodnight, Lockwood.”

She turned away from him and tried to settle in against the seat. She wished they’d turn the emergency lights off. Her stupid face was looking back in the window reflection. Plain. Puffy with tears. Stupid.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured finally, and one hand resting on her bicep. In the reflection, he was looking right at her, “I only mean that I hate it when you’re so hard on yourself.”

Yeah, well. I don’t need you being hard on me too.

Lucy couldn’t say anything out loud. She was too busy trying to level out her breathing, sobs coming with heaves of air that made her lungs ache as she tried restrain herself from making a sound.

“God, Lucy, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, for all of it…”

“It’s not your fault,” she choked out.

This was all her fault, and now she was making it his problem. She tried so hard to be easygoing. To pick her battles. Keep all of this away from him. Away from Geroge. From everyone. This deserved to be locked up in her attic room, or her grimy little Zone 3 bedsit. Lockwood was starting to cry.

“Tell me how to make it better,” he begged, but Lucy shook her head.

She glanced at George, checking he was still asleep. This was mortifying.

“I just want to go home.”

“Oh, Lucy, I’m sorry,” he paused, “do you mean… London?”

They both froze. Lucy felt her stomach plummet. She didn’t have anywhere else. Wasn’t Portland Row her home? Lockwood’s hands were shaking. She didn’t know why.

“If that’s… if that’s okay,” she choked out, and Lockwood relaxed visibly.

“Of course! Of course it’s okay. More than… Portland Row is your home as long as you want it. Of course.”

“Oh. Good.”

He didn’t ask his time. Didn’t move slowly to avoid the table. Lockwood threw himself around her and dragged her closer and held her so tight Lucy finally believed she was never going anywhere.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know… I don’t know why I’m so emotional.”

“God Luce I thought you were leaving again. Please, I don’t… I don’t care about the press. I was just asking.”

“I don’t know why I’m like this, Lockwood, I’m sorry. I just can’t see myself…”

“It’s fine. I don’t care about the papers. Ignore me, I never should have brought it up. Besides, I like seeing my face enough for the both of us, I think.”

When Lucy laughed it was wet and snotty and the best thing Lockwood had ever heard. He was no stranger to fear and relief, each time they captured a source both emotions chased each other through his veins. But this was potent. Something he’d never replicated anywhere other than Lucy. She was the scariest thing in the world.

He saw George’s eyes crack open, and slip closed again with an understanding nod. Surprisingly tactful.

“For what it’s worth,” he murmured, high on adrenaline and entirely delirious, “I’d buy a poster of you. I’ll put it on my bedroom wall now.”

“Lockwood,” she whined, “shut up.”

“I’m buying a polaroid camera.”

“Don’t be gross.”

She was joking. He knew she was. His chest clutched with fear anyway.

“No, I mean… like the photos you have with Norrie. I love those. You look so beautiful in them. Happy and real, laughing.”

When Lucy agreed, she didn’t mean it. But Lockwood had her pulled to his chest and she was wrapped in his hoodie and he had told her (in a rather indirect way) that he thought she was beautiful, so she let it slide.

“Do you think you can sleep like this?” she asked.

“Yeah, probably. Why?”

“Good. I’m really comfy. Is that weird?”

“No! Not at all. Definitely sleep, if you can.”

He didn’t care if he slept. She was still here. They’d fought, and he still wasn’t sure why, but she was still here. Her eyes were slipping closed, and selfishly, he didn’t want her to go yet.

“Luce?”

“Hm?”

“You’ll have to give me your family’s address – I need to have a stern word with your mother.”

Lucy snorted. He didn’t need the address, it was on her Grades One through Three certificates. She liked the idea of it though, showing up in his suit with all his posh charm and repressed anger. Lucy had never needed saving, but she’d love Lockwood to give her mum a bollocking. The fantasy followed her all the way into her dreams, and she wondered if Lockwood could tell somehow, with her head against his shoulder and his arms wrapped around her on a stationary train.

[daniwib]

Season 8 speculation

Here’s my own speculation on what is going to happen in s8 based partly on wishful thinking but also because TM likes to do the unexpected while also calling back to earlier episodes:-

Chim and Hen both get transferred out to different stations. Chim possibly to the academy as a trainer instead of a regular station. Either way, they’re not at the 118 anymore under Gerrard. The fandom is so focused on what their lives are going to be like working under Gerrard again that I think TM is going to flip things on us and they’re not going to be working under him at all. They’ve both already done that before and they’re both much stronger, wiser and more mature now. They won’t take his shit and so we won’t see it. It’ll be more dramatic to take them out of the equation completely and split the 118 up.

Eddie is in a dark place because Chris is still living in Texas. He’s aware things are not great with Gerrard but he’s not focused on it, he’s just trying to keep his head above water in his personal life. Call back to Tommy saying he didn’t like who he was working under Gerrard – Eddie cannot handle anything else, so he falls into his old military mindset and toes the line at work. Does whatever Gerrard says, doesn’t talk back etc etc. Inadvertently becomes Gerrard’s golden boy because of it though he barely even notices. I’d love for that to cause issues between him and Buck but I think their relationship is too strong for that. But then TM has surprised us all before so who knows.

It takes a while before Gerrard realizes that Buck is dating Tommy but once he does, he starts making Buck’s life hell at work in the small ways he did back in the day with Hen and Chim. Who aren’t there to support Buck, and Eddie doesn’t seem to notice, and so Buck flounders. He’s never experienced constant, relentless homophobia like that before. How would he react? Does he try to hide who he is like Tommy did while working under Gerrard, or does he instead flaunt it? Does it wear him down and make him withdraw into himself? Or do we finally see some real growth for his character and see him standing up for himself without any support from his coworkers? (I’m assuming Tommy is supporting him bts but perhaps not against Gerrard personally. Tommy has his own past demons about the man to deal with).

Call back to 3x16 when Buck says “Yeah, like if Bobby retired. [sic] You know, or one of us got moved to another house, we would still all stay in touch” and Buck’s seeking reassurance that that won’t happen to them. Which they don’t actually give him, btw. Fast forward to the end of s7 and what’s Bobby done? Retired. Sure, he changed his mind and wants to come back but as of now in canon he is retired. So, I’m waiting to see some or all of them transferred to other houses and the 118 be completely separated either physically or in Eddie’s case mentally if he stays working in the same house as Buck.

They did it in Lonestar already and we know the shows have echoed themes before (whumpable chaos coma besties TK & Buck anyone?). The drama potential of it happening to the 118 is enticing. It would affect all of them in different ways and who knows we might even get that Buck breakdown we’ve been wanting for years. There are so many ways all of their storylines could go before we finally get that sweet sweet resolution and see Gerrard get the karmic slap he has to have coming – because that’s something else that 911 loves, dispensing karma to those who deserve it.

I haven’t even mentioned the whole Bathena being homeless or HenRen losing Mara storylines, but I know those will come into play again in s8 and I am excited to see where things go with them, too.

I also really hope that Gerrard was the arsonist and that we get more of the 118 losing their homes to arson (cough cough Buck’s loft) and perhaps even the station itself. Far fetched? Possibly. We’ve had more insane things happen on this show, though.

I’ve deliberately not speculated on the BuckTommy or Buddie of it all because quite frankly I’m tired of the shipwar. I’m content to wait and see where TM goes with that. What I’m excited for is to see how the dynamics of Gerrard and every member of the 118 play out during s8.

[copperbadge]

Whenever I think about “mental images” or “a song stuck in your head” these days, I think about aphantasia and how that impacts perception. (Aphantasia is the condition of not seeing images or hearing sounds in your head -- most of the population does, but those with aphantasia do not, or do to a very diminished degree.) 

I’ve talked about how I don’t have locked mental images of my characters or their homes and such. Things can move around as needed -- like a sofa can move across a room, or a lamp might change tables, depending on what the action needs. I assumed nobody actually had mental images, it was just an agreed-upon method of describing nonvisual imagination. Having found that’s not the case at roughly the same time as I was diagnosed with ADHD (a few months apart) I think about it a lot. 

Recently I was playing with form and picked up the thread of an idea I’ve had for years, which is to write a novel as if it were a guidebook to the place you’re reading the novel about (I’m sure it’s been done before, and Italo Calvino has done something like it with Invisible Cities, I just think it would be fun to try). It occurred to me that while I don’t visualize things in terms of furniture in a living room or where people are in a space, I do have a firm and unchanging idea of what a city as a whole looks like, including some mental images.

Even before visiting Menton Garavan, where Fons-Askaz is located in an alternate world, I definitely knew what went where in Fons-Askaz. I know what the harbor and coastline are shaped like, where most of the local residential housing versus the tourist housing is, how the main street is shaped and where several landmarks sit along it, their names and what purpose they serve. I know where the one really divey dive bar is. And I do see images of all of them, but only partial -- specific angles of sight, mainly (I can see both main entrances to the pedestrian shopping area called the Promenade, but not most of the Prom itself, for example). 

When I considered this, I realized I could do it to a limited extent for Galia also, and for other fictional places I’ve written about, like Lea from Six Harvests or Low Ferry from Nameless. I could draw rough maps of most of those places -- I don’t have the map itself in my head, but rather a combination of non-visual knowledge and a series of vague mental snapshots. I don’t know the actual layout of the palace, but I know what it looks like from the train station and I know what I would see standing at the windows in Gregory and Eddie’s apartment. I can see about three different views of Wild Mayer’s farm in Six Harvests, and I know the layout of Lea’s main street. It’s like for every fictional city or town that I’ve written about, I have a series of mental postcard images. 

I have no idea why, or what it means. Probably it’s just that like many neurodiverse people I navigate by landmark, and I live in a city so recognizing urban landmarks and “views” is vital. I don’t need to “navigate” my apartment so I don’t care where the sofa is, but I have to know what the neighborhood looks like when we’re getting close to my bus stop so I know when to ring the bell to get off. 

Possibly it means I should have become an urban planner. 

Kind of fun, anyway, now that I’ve figured out I can do it. I can’t really “walk around” Fons-Askaz, but I can do a sort of flyover. 

[padfootscoldleathers]

i'll leave (a light on) ch.3

ch.1 ch.2 ch.3, ch.4, ch.5

The drive from where they'd just performed in Houston at NRG Stadium up to SoFi Stadium in San Diego was going to be a good twenty four hours of highways, concrete and boredom. Or maybe not. He had a gut feeling Mary wanted to talk about something. While Sirius' gut is not typically one to rely on, like that time he once smushed a sandwich with oily meats into a toaster thinking it was a good idea and had a very small, very eco-friendly house fire on his hands. Probably not thinking.

Not the current point though. The point is he's bored, which means he has The Munchies, in short he has to get someone to ask Kingsley to stop for breakfast. Point being he has to enter the dragon's nest.

Sirius carefully untangled himself from Mary slipping a pillow to replace his arm under her head. Then he quietly manoeuvres around Marlene's limbs hanging half on the bed with Dorcas and her other half on the floor. Sirius takes a couple steps past and squats down to Peter's bottom bunk. Sirius pokes at his face but Peter doesn't even stir. Then he starts to whisper.

"Hellooo," quiet as possible to not wake Minnie but his patience threshold when he's hangry is abominably low. "Hey!" He grumbles under his breath when Peter doesn't so much as twitch and starts to flick at Pete's chubby cheeks. "Hellooooo," when there's still no reaction Sirius whisper-shouts, "Hello!" accidentally flicking off Peter's hearing aid that he probably forgot to take out last night and scrambles to catch it. When Sirius turns back its to an unimpressed, freshly woken, grumpy Peter and he tries to play it off with an awkward grin. "Heh. Good morning, you lovely ray of sunshi-"

"What d'you want, Black?" he drags out in early morning irritation.

Sirius purses his lips to the side and mumbles, "Could you ask Kingsley to stop for breakfast?" Peter blinks, twice, stupendously at him then turns over and cocoons himself. Sirius drapes himself over Peter with murmurs of 'Please?' and 'I am your best friend.' and 'Don't you love me?'

Peter shoves the covers down from over his face and is immediately met with Sirius' ginormous puppy dog eyes. "And you can't ask him yourself because..?"

"Sometimes when I am bored I'll sit up front with Kingsley and ask him to make stops at gas stations so I can get slushies. He won't make stops for me anymore. Says I'm entitled and wasting valuable road time. Though that might also be because I dropped his slushie last time. In his lap. All irrelevant to my current situation of The Munchies. Pretty please, Blondie?" Sirius blinks in cartoon fashion as if that was helping him get what he wants.

"Mm. Lost your pretty privileges, have you?" Peter rolls out of bed groaning and face plants on the cold hardwood floors. You can see his chest rise with a deep breath before his heavy agonising sigh and mumble of, "I greatly dislike you."

Pete hauls himself up and immediately stumbles over Marlene's extended leg. Once he's stable he kicks her leg a bit muttering about how she sleeps like that american gas station blow up man they saw on their drive into Texas. He walks over her arm and head lying in the middle of the walkway and heads to the front of the bus. Peter opens the door to the driver's area to talk to Kingsley but instead of just saying what he needs Pete gets into the passenger seat.

Sirius face drops because he knows Pettigrew just went back to sleep and he won't be getting breakfast for another half hour. Splendid

★

By the time they park at a diner in some town in the middle of nowhere it's 9:27 and everyone is awake and alive if not dead on their feet. Sirius hops out the bus doors and proceeds to twist and turn his spine in every direction possible to get every satisfying crack. He carries Mary in a flowing yellow sundress on his back to the diner and Marlene speed walks to the doors of the diner with Dorcas in tow.

Sirius lowers her into the booth and once they're seated a waitress passes by to get them started on drinks and take their orders. Their lemonades reach the table and Mary taps Sirius and signals outside. "I want to talk to you about something." she says.

Sirius walks with her joint at the hip out the diner. "Hiccup still bothering you?" Mary looks confused but then he pokes her leg and she gets it. "Hm? Oh, no. Some days are better than others, it doesn't cooperate or it's uncomfortable, it depends. Or sometimes I just don't want to wear the leg. Free will, let the limbs breathe and all that jazz. No, um. I actually had something I wanted you to listen to." He looks sceptical but then she continues,

"Remember Lily Evans?" Mary tells him everything. The rumours, the denial, wednesday night hook-ups, lies, how angry it made her and how hard she'd tried to be it for Lily. That if she'd just been good enough, that she could help Lily through it and they'd work it out. And about how she's finally given up.

She didn't say any of it really, just handed him her headphones. Sirius looks from them to her confused, "I didn't think I'd be able to tell you. Not anything to do with you just that I feel so.. angry. And so worn. I can't even really say why I stuck around so long."

Obviously though, Sirius knew why she'd stuck around Lily Evans. Mary's not lying of course, she obviously can't understand why she stuck to Evans for so long. Why she stayed through all the kicks and punches, yelling and denial, unreliability and fickle love. Sirius sees why though; knows it was because she wanted to prove she could love someone no matter how aggravating it was or how difficult they made it; knows why she wanted to prove it.

He puts on the headphones and hears her familiar voice coming through the speakers. Everything Mary says in the song are axes hacking at his rotting pillars. He leans against the glass window of the diner and slides down till he hits the pavement and Mary follows in a pistol squat. Sirius holds a hand locked over his mouth as tears stream down his face and his lungs scrape themselves raw. The lyrics are rubbing salt in a very fresh wound and he hears Barty's voice echo in his mind

"You let me stay; you let me hurt you."

I hate that I let this drag on so long, now I hate myself

I hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell

At the end of her primal scream on the demo, Sirius turns to face Mary who seems apologetic, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." He's frozen for a second then drops his hand from his mouth and wraps himself around her tightly, gathering her up in his arms. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," Sirius whispers with his voice hoarse. Mary huffs at him, "Looks like I wasn't much there for you either." She kisses his temple and utters, "I'm sorry. I really do love you, Sirius."

He sniffs and wipes his bleary eyes then wipes her tears too, "I love you more, Marianne,"

"To my credit though, I don't think you're a loser."

"No?"

Sirius stands and pulls her up after. "Nah, 'cause you're just a teenage dirtbag, baby~"

"Wow, okay. Wrap it up prince froggie. Get your pufferfish lips out of my personal space bubble. Your," Mary makes a circle with an open hand in his general direction. "..everything.. is insulting. Anyway, pancakes?"

"Pancakes."

Sirius stops them at the diner's glass door entrance. He slides the headphones down and off his neck, shakes them and asks, "Is that song released yet?" Mary shakes her head. "Then I have a wonderful idea."

She grins.

★

"No." 

guys i swear all typos will be fixed when my editor friend comes back from death guys i promise & that fire thing is actually true, i blew a fuse

@moonyswarmsweaters @sspadfoot @thingthatoncewastruee @probs-reading @cheekyboybeth

@starving-marauder-lover @yourlocalbadgerscales @taleofapart-timepoet @mirrs-ball @tea-blankets-andstars

@where-is-vivian @amberlink @wastingawayinmyroom @ashes-to-ashesxx @percabeth-trash

@equippedtolove @moon-girl88 @jamespotterbbg @drunktayloratthevmas @labyrinthhofmymind

@s0ggyguts @nyx-taylors-version @will-vs-the-homo-sapiens-adgenda

[eastwindmlk]

For the last day of Jilyweek we arrive at the continuation station and a little post-canon moment from Echoes of Tuning Heart (Which is my band!AU fic, if you didn't know.) No prior knowledge needed! Thank you to @kay-elle-cee and @sunshinemarauder for making this happen! Oh yeah and it is 1.2k

3:57

Usually, Lily would be asleep by now. They left the venue two hours ago, and she had fairly quickly curled up in her bunk. But tonight she was on a mission, having set an alarm for the right time and silencing it the moment that it went off. Carefully sliding open the little curtain. She left her socks for what they were as she crossed over to James’s bunk. Finding him asleep. His light was still on and his glasses pressed into his face at an awkward angle.

Carefully, the redhead slid the glasses off his face. Cringing as he turned to his back, the leg almost poking him in the eye.

“James.”

Her voice was no more than a loud whisper as she carefully shook his shoulder. He smiled while he grumbled and groaned, but turned to his side while opening his eyes. Watched his hand wipe over his face, rubbing at the pressure marks along his nose and temple.

“Is it time to get up already, kitten?”

The little pet name slipped from his lips, much to her annoyance. Her eyes narrowed at him for just a moment.

“No, no you can go to sleep right after this again.”

She promised, her hand caressing his cheek as she stretched up onto her toes to kiss him. She hoped very much the bus would not be taking any stranger turns or bumps while she tried to balance.

“Happy birthday, darling.”

His face seemed to light up, and he leaned closer to kiss her. Their noses smashed together awkwardly as the bus pulled into a truck stop. Both of them laughed quietly in the darkness.

“I can’t wait for that layover tomorrow. I don’t mind a bed for a change.”

“You are impossible. Go back to sleep before you get any ideas.”

Unable to keep herself from flustering at the thought, her eyes looked into the darkness for a moment. Kissing him one more time before heading back to bed.

10:00

The whole bus woke up from a phone ringing, a chorus of groans and grumbling rising from all the bunks. The generic sound cutting off suddenly. Immediately followed by Sirius’s voice complaining:

“Whoever that is, I hate you!”

A brief silence where people tried to hear who was on the other side of the line. Lily had already poked her head out from the curtain to hear better. Listening to James greet his mother.

22:00

With the US tour, came a lot more helping hands. What also helped was that they were playing at the same venue two nights in a row. Allowing Lily to dip out a little early to prepare her birthday surprise for James. Leaving the end of the show and the meet-and-greet in their hands. It wasn’t anything they needed her for.

Instead, she used the hour or so making sure that their hotel room was candle-lit, having a little indoor picnic ready for when he finally made it up there. She took her time to make it look just right, down to the cheesy flower petals strew across the bed as a finishing touch.

The redhead was still in the bathroom, braiding her hair and leaning close to the mirror to check her make-up. She was dressed up in a set of purple satin lingerie. Something she had sneaked ti tge register when James had been distracted with other things. It pinched a little under her arm, but she doubted that she would be wearing it long enough to be bothered by it.

The door opened when she was fiddling with one of the straps. Feeling a warm, pleasant nervous feeling pooling in her stomach. Looking at herself in the mirror Lily decided that she would need a moment longer to gather courage.

“I’ll be right out! Why don’t you get comfortable?”

She called through the door, the footsteps carrying on into the room. Giving her a moment longer to take a deep breath. Lily wasn’t shy, not normally. But there was something different about putting herself purposefully on display.

So, she hyped herself up flicked off the unflattering light of the bathroom and stepped out. Taking two steps and practically shrieked.

“Sirius! What the hell are you doing here?”

Desperately searching for something to cover herself up with, glaring daggers at the man lounging on her bed. Wrapping her arms around herself, she leaned against the wall. Hoping that it would swallow her up. Her face now matched her hair in shade.

“Come off it, Red! You’re making this more awkward than it needs to be.”

Lily was about ready to strangle him. Seeing him lying there, lounging on the bed between the flower petals. He really was aggravatingly pretty. If only he did not have that shit-eating grin plastered over his smug face.

“I just came to check on you since you weren’t there when we got off-stage. Thought maybe you were sick.”

The fact that he had a wholesome excuse for being there only made it worse. She could absolutely not strangle him for this. Instead, she fought a smile onto her face, stepping away from the wall with her arms still clinging around her for a semblance of modesty.

“How did you even get in?”

Lily hissed, pretty sure that he should not have a key and dreading the idea that he took James’. She could not imagine having to open the door for him, dressed like this.

“Asked at reception, they let me in.”

Of course they did. Just as she opened her mouth to send him out, the door swung open.

Turning around, looking like a deer in the headlights Lily watched James step inside. His hair was still damp from the shower after the show, the room key between his lips while he strode in. Taking several seconds to notice anyone. Looking up his eyes landed on Sirius getting off the bed first, eyeing him confused.

“Pads, what are you doing h…”

The sentence sputtered and cut short when his eyes landed on Lily. She felt even more awkward now. The entire thing not going as planned. There was no sexy entrance, no surprise. No. He spotted her looking shocked, crumbling together to cover herself up. All Lily could think was that she must look incredibly silly and very unattractive right then and there.

James swallowed, eyes flicking back to his friend who stood there beaming at him. His confused expression made her turn around only to see Sirius making motions as if he was showing off a prize on a TV show. Back to James who was rolling his lip between his teeth, his hand in his hair.

“I think it is time for you to go, mate.”

He muttered, lip tugging up into a slight smile. Eyes roaming her stature hungrily. Giving her quite the confidence boost. She felt good enough to unfold herself and lean against the wall in a pose she hoped looked good. Yelping as Sirius’s hand smacked her exposed behind in passing. Pausing to kiss her on the cheek with the words:

“You look amazing. Have fun!”

James got visually impatient looking at his friend. To the point where, as he paused to say something at his side, he grabbed the back of Sirius’s neck and pushed him towards the door.

“Yes, yes, have fun, be safe and don’t do anything you would do drunk. Now, piss off!”

The interaction made both Lily and him laugh as he waved frantically at them until the door slammed in his face. Her boyfriend turned around to face her with a deep breath in and a sigh out.

“So, how about we try this again?”

[aineryeo]

10 Things I Hate About You Jake Kim.

Synopsis: "On the very first day in Jerry Kwon's new school, he instantly falls for Ryang Sang-min, the girl of his dreams. The issue is that Sang-min is forbidden to date until her ill-tempered, completely undateable older sister (You) goes and dates someone too.. In an attempt to solve his problem, Jerry singles out the only guy who might potentially be a match for Ryang (Name): His Senior, the same age as you, Jake Kim."

Themes & Warnings: 2000s Teen-Drama, Romance, Cliches, Fem. POV, Jake is a romantic idiot, slightly OOC, setting is in J-High, a little NSFW

Author Notes:

"Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" - Frankie Valli | 10 Things I Hate About You (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

This is basically the whole movie but the cast is Jake Kim, You, a random character as your younger sister, Vin Jin, Mary Kim, the Practical Music Dept, Big Deal (Jason, Brad, Jerry), and cameos of our favorite characters/main lookism cast <3 I even recreated the title sequence I'm so happy for this! 1/3 parts + The OG Cast are Seniors (Vasco, Crew Heads, Daniel, etc.)

LOOKISM, SOUTH KOREA — 갱단의 삶. » “THE GANGSTER LIFE”

*Set in a school environment & an alternate universe where Jake now attends J-High School, this includes the rest of the crew heads & Big Deal. There are no four major crews and no gangs, but Jake is still renowned as Gapryong Kim's son. Sinu Han is also present.

Chapter 1 (Current) » Chapter 2

Jaewon-High School. A second-rate vocational school that focuses more on giving its students the experience they need for the jobs they want in the department they chose. There are eight (8) departments:

Fashion and Clothing Department

Architecture and Interior Design Department

Beauty Department

Comics and Animation Department

Vocal and Dance Department

Practical Music Department

Baking Department

Computers Department

Out of these eight, you were in your third year in Practical Music. The school was full of tools. The Fashion Dept always flaunted their brand clothes because they’re the only department allowed to wear whatever they want. The Architecture Dept. Always full of creepy guys who don’t look their age. Bundled together in groups to show off their strength or something like that... Unless they have a leader already. A well-known persona in their Dept was a person named Vasco for Burn Knuckles, and he’s a sophomore from what you know. There’s a rumor that a second group of men was formed, but it is not like they were all serious gangs. You hear it was because they like one guy, similar to the Burn Knuckles. 

If that was how the Architecture Dept worked, you could say the same for the Beauty Dept. Except they’re all girls, save for one Senior: Eli Jang. They all love their one boy. You could go on and on about how everyone is the same, readable stereotype. They all do things because they think they should be doing them. To act cool, tough, rich, pretty, or popular, listen to this famous K-pop group or dance to this new pop song. You hate all of it.

What you hate the most right now, though? Freshmen.

“Hey, have you listened to NCT’s new release, 119?”

“Yeah, I waited all night for the exact time of their release, and I memorized all the lyrics, yeah!”

“Already a big fan? You rock! I just mentioned this the other day!”

“You know me~.”

The girls had brightly colored hair, and they played whatever new song they were talking about loudly through the speakers of their phones while you were in the seat just behind them on the bus. Getting annoyed, you remove your headphone’s audio jack from your phone and start playing Bad Reputation by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts at a volume rivaling theirs.

“Hey, what the hell?” The first girl looks back to where you were currently sitting.

Just as they begin to protest, the bus driver halts at the station you get off. You get your bag and walk past them, giving them a natural look that makes them stare back a little before turning their heads in defeat. You? You were still playing your music. As you step off the public transport bus with the girls behind you in tow, grumbling about you ruining their vibe, you’re met with a litter of J-high’s students scattered around the grounds.

As usual, you navigate through the messy crowd. Filled with students who were learning how to skate. Some were walking to school, while the others had their bicycles.

The most intriguing sight you missed once you entered was the freshman in his small bike with a basket. Contrary to his small bicycle was a massive build defying the logic of a teen’s average growth. Pedaling this bike was none other than Jerry Kwon.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Ki Young-Mi was engraved in the wooden name plaque on the desk filled with books, papers, and a small, thick, and visibly old laptop. Below the name was Guidance Counselor, was it?

Ms. Young was a middle-aged lady with old style, permed hair, and rectangle-shaped glasses that were quite thick for her age, connected to the white-laced retainers wrapped around her neck. Her glasses were tipping around her nose as she looked down at her laptop with puckered lips.

Tap.

Tap, tap, tap.

Tapppp…

That was how slow she typed. Jerry was sitting in front of her desk, fiddling with his thumbs as if he didn’t look like a Senior student.

“I’ll be right with you.” Ms. Young says.

Jerry nods obediently.

Behind the screen, little did Jerry know was Ms. Young’s… Hobby. Right, she was writing for her novel. She was unfocused on what Jerry was asking her since he came barging in as she was still in her brainstorming stage. And now… 

«Gushiken wakes up from her slumber after her intense battle with Akaza. With the dim moonlight shining on her, she opens her eyes to see….»

Ah, perfect. For now. Ms. Young closes her laptop and takes off her glasses, leaving them dangling around her neck. 

“So, what are you here for? Did Gordon send you in already?” The Architecture Dept again…

“Oh, I’m a freshman, Ms. Young.”

Ms. Young, in her many years in J-high, had never seen a kid look… Like this. Ah, but she gets such a small salary, anyways, she shakes off her shock. She shouldn’t be shocked. Some students here could pass off as adults in their mid-twenties if they wanted to, seriously.

“Then you must be Jerry Kwon. Here you go,” Ms. Young gives Jerry a yellow piece of paper, printed with his class schedule and where his room is.

The guidance counselor then looks over Jerry’s documents, standing near the window in her solo office. She hums with a slight nod.

“You’re big for a first-year high schooler. You—” Once more, Ms. Young takes a good look at Jerry and points at him accusingly. “Are you sure you’re not a convicted criminal or something!?”

Jerry sweats nervously at this. He shakes his head and his hands in swift denial. “N-no! My father is—”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Ms. Young regains her lost composure. “I’m sure you’ll fit right into Jaewon. It’s not any different from the local schools, or any other schools, for the matter of fact.”

Splat! Behind the window protecting Ms. Young, who smiled with her eyes closed.

“Same little ass-wipe shit-for-brains everywhere.” And then she laughs as if it was normal. It probably is.

Poor Jerry didn’t know what to say, stuttering. For a big, intimidating guy, Jerry remembers what his big brother, by bond, had always told him: Respect your elders.

“Sorry, sorry… Should I go?”

The more Jerry sat on the chair, the more Ms. Young looked sweetly aggravated. “Go, I have deviants to see and a novel to finish. Bye-bye now.”

Jerry leaves with his bag on his shoulder as Ms. Young pats his back while ushering him out of the Guidance office. As Jerry approached the door, his prominent figure was almost rivaled by a familiar figure in a black compression short-sleeved shirt from Under Armour. Despite Jerry being in the original school uniform, the Architecture Dept was well-known to follow a different setup. The students usually wore jumpsuits.

“Big bro Jake!” Jerry grins.

Jake only gave a brief closed-eyed smile to Jerry, giving his head a small pat as he now faced Ms. Young, who had her arms closed.

“Jake Kim.”

Jake walks into the office just as Jerry leaves.

“I see we’re making our visits a weekly ritual.” Jake smiles at Ms. Young. Was it an attempt at charm? He nods a bit at the end of the statement. Jake places his hands in his school pants’ pockets.

“Only so we can have these moments together. Should I hit the lights?”

“Oh, very clever, the big boss, was it?” Ms. Young raises her thinly drawn eyebrow at the report in her hands. “Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria?”

“I was joking with the guys since it was bratwurst day. Doesn’t come all the time. And I didn't mean for the lunch lady to see anything.” Jake shrugged.

“Aren’t we the optimist?” Ms. Young’s eyes flit down briefly before flicking back to his eyes in a middle-aged, tired fashion.

Jake’s brows furrow at this. Always the weird faculty this school has. Though the students were much worse off. So, Mano a Mano. “Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay? Now scoot!”

The brief session in the guidance office was done in no time. Ms. Young had other… Business to attend to, yes…

«…“Are you looking for a wife? Oh, you know, just like a wife. Get married.”»

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Hello! Brad Lee, Sophomore from the Architecture Dept.” A similarly head-shaven guy approached the innocent Jerry waiting nearby the guidance office from earlier. Next to him was a lanky guy who wore red Converse shoes.

“Jason Yoon. We’re supposed to show you around; I’m a sophomore like Brad. It's rare, even for us, to see our No. 2. We usually just hear about you from Jake. Nice to see you in Jaewon, finally.”

They both shake hands with Jerry, whose other hand is holding onto the strap of his backpack. Brad looks at the little paper before looking back at Jerry.

“So… You play the flute?” Brad jests as they begin to walk.

“For a performance before, the flute is very important to me. It was given to me by big brother Jake.”

“Woah, the boss is amazing,” Jason remarks, walking with his hands behind his head.

Jerry hums in acknowledgment as he nods along. Brad then taps Jerry’s shoulder and points his chin toward a group of girls huddled together. Some had hair curlers for their bangs, even blow dryers. They all wore the standard uniform, but their hair was of different colors.

“Here’s the breakdown. Them,” Jerry looks at them again. “They’re from the Beauty Department.”

“Basic beautiful people.” Jason shrugged and looked up at Jerry, who was listening attentively. “Now, unless they talk to you first, just don’t bother.”

Jerry nods obediently at this. “They mostly only care about the only boy in their department, Eli Jang.” Brad chuckles.

Still walking along the long hall, they pass by a different group of kids. They were small, younger-looking boys.

“To the right, you’ll see the dweebs from the Fashion Dept. They’re your classic rich kids—” Jason explains.

“Hey, watch where you’re walking! You almost stepped on my Limited Edition Air Jordan 1s! You can’t find these anywhere anymore! Huh?!” A funny little lamb wearing glasses yelled. None of the three paid any mind.

“Tell them there’s a sale of whatever limited pair of pants, and they’ll come running alright. They won’t mess with you, though, I’m sure.” Jason gives Jerry a thumbs up.

Suddenly, some guy with his friend bumped into Jerry. The guy was petite compared to the giant Jerry Kwon, but he didn’t seem scared. No, his eyeglasses seemed to have lit up as he adjusted them.

“Konnichiwa (*In Japanese: “Hello”), are yuu new hero? (*In English: “Are you new here” — Korean accent)” 

Brad and Jason sweat at this. Brad leans close to Jerry to whisper and explain before Jerry thinks of beating him up. Though Jerry didn’t think of that in the first place.

“He must be from the AniCom Dept. Most think they’re the next Light Yagami or Satoru Gojo.”

Jason joins in and whispers on Jerry’s other ear, tip-toeing to reach it like Brad. “Never touch their body pillows.”

Jerry only nods rapidly and gives a brief wave before moving on.

“Arigato Gozaimasu!” The boy bows deeply for Jerry, catching a few stares from the passing students.

In one of the rooms they were passing by, they could hear loud laughter and a bunch of yells from the teacher. When the door opened, Jerry, Brad, and Jason could see the class monitor displaying… Porn. Obscene moans filled the rooms, and the furious teacher figured out why the remote wasn’t working suddenly. In the room, a particularly mischievous boy who sat on his chair with both his feet up like it was a dirty alleyway caught Jerry’s eye. 

“Dumbasses.” Jerry hears from the boy with purple hair and a devious smile.

“Kouji!!!!” The teacher screams. “Was it you again!?”

“Hah? You have no proof whatsoever, Mr.”

Jason laughed along while the porn didn’t stop playing. “Computer Department. That Kouji kid’s already famous for being known to hack easily into the school’s whole PA System.”

“Woah,” Jerry says something for the first time since their tour after exchanging names. This makes Jason Yoon and Brad Lee look immediately into whatever caught the quiet Jerry’s attention.

There walked a somewhat petite, classic, a little vintage-in-style girl. Sweetly holding her books as, for some reason, the wind picked up inside the school!? How was this possible?! But then Jerry thought, I guess for a goddess…! 

She had a strawberry-printed oversized jacket paired with the prettiest smile in Jerry Land while she walked over to a blonde girl with a cloth headband.

“Did the wind pick up just now?” Jerry hears her ask her friend.

“No, it’s just that fan over there. Someone turned it on just right on time.” Her friend replies while they walk off together.

Jerry couldn’t take his eyes off her. Is this what a campus crush is? He doesn’t think he’s seen anyone his whole life, which caught his fancy. With this, he whips his head towards his tour guides.

“Who is she..?” Jerry asks shyly. If you look closer, you’ll see a tinge of pink on his cheeks.

“The don't-even-think-about-it girl.” Jason sighs, putting his hands down on his head.

“She’s Ryang Sang-min of the Ryang sisters. A freshman like you, but she’s great friends with Mary Kim, Senior, since they’re in the same department.” Brad explains kindly.

Ryang Sang-min. Ah, Jerry will remember that name for the rest of his life. Brad and Jason notice how Jerry seems to be in wonderland, showing a small smile, but they worry for the little… Well, big guy.

“You see Jerry, Ryang Sang-min, a beautiful, deep, and a good dancer too. That, we’re sure of.” Brad Lee states, looking off into the direction that Sang-min and Mary walked off to. The trio was not so far behind the two girls walking off to their respective classrooms.

Sang-min speaks dreamily while holding her stack of papers in her arms, “You see, there’s a difference between like and love.”

“I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.”

“But I… Love my Skechers.” Mary replies.

“That’s because you don’t have a Prada backpack.” Sang-min shrugs.

Mary thinks about Sang-min’s point for a while until she finally gets the message. I mean, she didn’t have a Prada backpack, so that much was true. Mary chuckles and palms her forehead, “Ohh….”

And then they pass by the Second years’ Architecture Department room. Where Jason and Brad’s stop should be. Jerry still looks off towards the girls’ back. Specifically, Sang-min's, in pure awe until Jason waves a hand in front of him, and Brad starts talking.

“Look, Jerry, Ryang Sang-min has a very strict, uptight dad. It’s a widely known fact that the Ryang sisters don’t date.”

None of what they did or said got to Jerry, though, as he stared off into the distance. “Uhuh… Yeah.”

Jason Yoon and Brad Lee look at each other worriedly. They were here on behalf of Jake Kim’s request to look out for Jerry on his first day as part of Big Deal, but they don’t know if they failed or succeeded.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

After the bell rang, all departments were in their given rooms. There were a lot of reasons why Practical Music had a strong competitiveness against the Vocal & Dance Dept. While they battled for agencies to take them in, performances, the lot, they also had mixed classes. Mixed classes are different from auditorium sessions. It was unique to the two departments since they had ragingly similar lessons anyway. Auditorium sessions take up all the departments in the most enormous room in Jaewon. However, it was primarily used for seminars. It was easy to skip if you tried.

The mixed classes between Practical Music and VD would happen with the core subjects and Music Theory or whatnot. But topics specific to your department are when the two would separate. For now, it was Literature. The sound of clapping hands garnered the students’ attention, stopping their mid-class talking.

“Okay, then. What did everyone think of ``The Sun Also Rises?``” Your professor, Mr. Il Pae-min, asks.

A student with a pixie cut raises her hand from the back. Dreamily, she says,

“I loved it. He’s so romantic.”

“Romantic? Hemingway?” You pipe up. Scoffing after looking at her, then looking upfront to your professor, who already saw your rebuttal from a mile away. “He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.”

This makes Mr. Pae-min roll his eyes. 

“Look who’s talking, Ms. I’m-bitter-Boohoo-I-have-no-friends.” Vin Jin, the twerp who always wore sunglasses and some ugly-ass hat, laughs right after his statement. He’s even got the backup extras laughing with him and giving him undeserved low-fives.

This makes you roll your eyes.

“Shut your mouth, ripoff.” Mr. Pae-min scolds, and Vin frowns at his retort.

You found your opportunity, so you’ll take it. Laughing a little at first, you say, “I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.”

“Oooh.” The class reacts. Vin Jin was definitely pissed off. But as they spot you open your mouth again, half the class groans.

“What about Sylvia Plath, or Charlotte Bronte, or Simone de Beauvoir—?” Your little speech is cut off when the door slides open, revealing a student who was unquestionably not from either Practical or DV.

It was a guy with a tattoo sleeve decorating both his arms, and in his hand was a black bomber jacket, probably to pair with his compression shirt. Without missing a beat, he asks, and you’re not even sure if it was genuine, “What’d I miss?”

You sigh exasperatedly. Attention has already gone from the boy who just entered. You answer his question. “The oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education.”

“...” You don’t see it, but he nods and smiles. “Good. Not my class.” And just as quickly as he disrupted your class, just as quickly he left.

“Hey!” Your professor yelled at him, but he couldn’t catch him as another student called out for him. He looks to the student and, oh, another asshat.

“Um, Mr. Pae-min…” Vin Jin initially calls in mock sadness before morphing into an angrier tone. “Is there any chance we can get (Name) to take her Midol before she comes to class?”

You look back at Vin Jin, who sat on your left, just right behind you, with an unamused expression.

“Someday, you’re going to get bitch slapped, and I’m not gonna do a thing to stop it.” Your professor butts in before you do.

Vin Jin’s smug smile turns into a dissatisfied grunt. “Tch.”

“And Ryang (Name), I want to thank you for your point of view.” Now it was your turn to nod and feel the sweet, sweet satisfaction. That is until “It must’ve been hard for you to overcome all your years in upper-middle class suburban oppression.”

Mr. Pae-min shakes his head to express his point better, “Must be tough.”

“Anything else?” You ask. Whether sarcastic or not, your professor isn’t taking it anymore. So he replies, “Yeah, go to the office. You’re pissing me off.”

“What? Mr. Pae—”

“Later!” He cuts you off, not giving you any more than that. This fucking sucks, you think. Makes your day even worse than the annoying freshmen on the bus earlier. You roll your eyes and get your stuff, kicking Vin Jin’s leg before you leave.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

In the guidance office, there sat Ms. Young, eyes closed to envision the scene of her novel in her head. Along with this, she vocalizes the lines herself. “A different and yet all the more beautiful….” And she opens her eyes.

“Yeonhui!” Ms. Young calls her intern.

“Yes, ma’am?” She springs from the open door that led to Ms. Young’s office. 

“What’s another word for engorged?”

“I’ll look it up.” The young adult says.

“Okay.” Ms. Young replies, shifting her attention back to her retro laptop. “Swollen. Turgid.” She recites to herself in thought.

“Tumescent?” You continue for her, hands in your jacket. 

Ms. Young looks at you, “Perfect.” Then types in the rest of her thoughts while talking. “So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Pae-min’s class. Again.”

You sigh. You couldn’t count how much you’ve done this for the day already. And it was just your first class. Sitting, you reply, “Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.”

“Mhm, the way you expressed your opinion to Doo Lee?” Ms. Young retorts, finally closing her laptop and taking her reading glasses off to dangle around her neck once more.

“My statement remains that he kicked himself in the balls.” You cross your arms.

Ms. Young gives you a second to stare at you with a smile that says how talking about it with you is just not going to work this time. Not like it worked all the other times, anyway. So, she gets her tall CBTL coffee mug, “So, the thing is, Ms. Ryang (Name)... People perceive you as somewhat—”

“Tempestuous?” You continue with raised brows.

“Heinous bitch is the term used most often.” Ms. Young smiles once more. You lay back on your chair with a sense of disbelief. Though you’re not so surprised about what the guidance counselor said. “You might want to work on that. Thank you.” She finishes.

You stand up from the chair facing Ms. Young’s desk. “As always, thank you for your excellent guidance.”

Just before leaving and fixing the strap of your sling bag on your shoulder, you say, “I’ll let you get back to Kyojuro’s quivering member.”

Ms. Young looked up at your back that was leaving. Humming, she nods. “Quivering member. I like that.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Virgin alert. Your favorite.” One of his friends pointed with his chin.

Vin Jin looks to his back, right where a familiar face greets him, exactly when Mary flips Vin off once she catches his attention. Sang-min notices Vin staring, and she gives him a shy smile while walking to the canteen with Mary and her other friends she met in her class. 

“Lookin’ good, ladies. And Mary.”

Vin and his lackeys stare at Sang-min walking off. “Oh, she’s out of reach, even for you.” 

Vin looks at Chul with an air of confidence only he can have. “No one’s out of reach for me.”

“You wanna put money on that?” Chul replies.

Putting his hands in his pants pockets, Vin smirks at Chul. “Money, I’ve got.” Looking back into the direction that Sang-min walked off to, he continues. “This, I’m gonna do for fun.”

As Vin and his friends kept ogling at Sang-min and her friends in turns, on the other side of the open grounds were the three loners in the big group that was Big Deal. It was only break time, and Jerry’s not precisely the most… Approachable in terms of face and body structure. So once Jason and Brad saw Jerry walking alone, they approached the big guy. And there they were now. Jerry is drinking strawberry milk on the bench next to Jason and Brad.

“Who’s he?” Jerry points innocently with his finger that could probably stop a truck single-handedly.

“Most people call him Vin Jin, sometimes Jin Ho Bin,” Brad answers first. “Aspiring rapper. Take note about aspiring.” Jason continues.

“He’s a prick, basically.” Brad chuckles, laying back on the benches behind them.

Jerry nods, taking note of the boy who is visibly interested in his goddess. While sipping the last strawberry milk, his eyes flit to Ryang Sang-min. So much so that he fails to notice that the box is already empty and crushed in his hand. “She’s so pretty….”

“Conceited.” Jason cuts him off, a notebook covering his face from the sun.

Jerry visibly gasps at this. “She’s perfect!” The boy rumbles. Twiddling with his fingers, Jerry is suddenly bashful as he recites how pretty Sang-min’s smile is or how her eyes are reflected in the sun. Jason and Brad were not entertaining Jerry’s ideas, looking at each other as Jerry kept going on.

“Look, Jerry, Sang-min is a snotty princess.” Jason scrunches his nose and removes the notebook that covers his face, “She wears short skirts and tighter blouse, all against the school dress code. So that guys like us can realize that we’ll never be able to touch her, and guys like Vin Jin realize that they want to.” Jason finishes bitterly.

“No, you’re wrong.” Jerry shakes his head, which is shining from the sun. If you listen closely, you can hear someone slipping due to momentary blindness.

Jason laughs. “Take a shot, big buddy.”

Brad hums, interested. “She’s looking for an English tutor.”

Jerry shines brighter ever than before. Like a lightbulb that lit up but instead of having it over his head, it was his head. “I can teach her.”

“You speak good English?” Brad asks.

Jerry sweats. “I will.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

End of class.

You walked with Crystal Choi to the bus stop when Vin brushed past you on his off-road motorbike. Was that new? But you internally groan and scold yourself for even glancing at it because now the dude is stopping to talk to you.

“Hey,” Vin smirks. “How’re those shitty headphones doing, (Name)?” He then leans into the handles of his bike with the cockiest face he can make, with half his face hidden in seven-layer tinted sunglasses. It wasn’t even hot out.

“Run along, loser.” You wave off, and Vin frowns, roaring his engine back to life and driving off slowly to greet another passerby.

[...]

“I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed,” Sang-min’s friend trails off. “But can you ever just be… Whelmed?”

Sang-min didn’t know what to say, but she did think about it. “I think you can in Japan.” She shrugs.

“Hi, ladies.” Vin greets with his hotshot attitude. His motorbike calmed down next to them while Vin looked at the girl of his current interest. “I’m here to pick up a certain princess. Got one more free seat for a ride.”

This makes Sang-min giggle and look at her friend before she hopped on Vin’s ride. Wrapping her arms around his waist and waving goodbye to her friend. 

“Careful, the seats are brand new.” Vin notices, giving himself a little laugh once he feels the girl wrap her arms around him, “Heh.”

Somewhere near the school entrance, you can hear a certain blonde raging about someone stealing her cousin’s bike. You and Crystal watched the whole exchange between the jerkoff and your sister. Both of you were not close friends, but at that moment, the same thoughts were running through your heads.

“That’s an odd development.” Crystal remarks beside you.

You look down at Crystal, then back at Vin and Sang-min. Agreeing, you get on the bus that just arrived and sit next to her. “A disgusting one.”

The rest of the ride after that ordeal was comfortable. Later on, Crystal got off first. It was an upward stretch filled with shabby houses. Crystal was such a commendable spirit. She knew a lot of great bands, too. You think she’s fantastic for caring for that dog she told you about. Vin is more of an asshat for messing around with that mixed-breed golden retriever. You hope that one of these days, he gets just what he deserves.

Looking out the window, your bus quickly passes by the guy that mistook your room for his. You stare at him for a couple of seconds. It seems he felt the piercing look you gave him as he looked up at you from the sidewalk. Neither of you breaks eye contact, trying to see which of the other looks away first, an unspoken competition you’ve partaken in. You notice that he had a pretty well-defined face, a subtle side part where his slick hair was pushed back a little, sharply arched brows, and his black compression shirt. His bag was slung over his torso, and you know he probably wore a shirt like that on purpose.

And then he closed his eyes for a polite smile, catching you off guard.

You look away quickly, feeling your face heat up for no reason. Geez, who just suddenly flashes a smile at a stranger like that? This school’s filled with a bunch of weirdos. As your ride finally goes past him, you flip him off without looking back.

Back to the boy you had a staring competition with…

Samuel Seo, in his side-slicked undercut, white Ralph Lauren long-sleeve shirt with two open buttons at the top, the blue school tie hanging loosely on his neck, school pants, a missing coat, and his handbag lazily thrown over his shoulder, turns a corner and finally sees Jake Kim, face chasing a look to the bus that just left. The middle finger proudly displays itself in the window. When Samuel's eyes flit back to Jake, he focuses on what he is wearing. Making him scoff and call his friend out.

“The fuck you doing in my shirt?”

Jake looks back to see Samuel and walks to him. Shrugging, “Forgot to wash the jumpsuit.”

“Nasty,” Samuel replies.

“This shit’s fucking tight. How do you breathe in your shirts, man?” Jake pinches the front of his shirt, inspecting the material. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Samuel retorts, slapping the back of Jake’s head as they both walk off to their shared dorm.

[...]

“Have you seen Jerry?”

“Nah.” Samuel suddenly vividly remembers when he almost stumbled on his feet during the break when the sun shone on his glasses. Jake hums in reply.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Finally, you arrive home. You assume your sister got here first, considering she got a ride from the nation’s biggest asshole. Knocking on the door, you’re greeted by your middle-aged dad, who was just about to sort the mail in his neutral tone checkered shirt, covered by a brown vest and a tie underneath. After removing your shoes by the entrance, you get sorted into the living room and sigh from your typically long day.

Your dad approached you as you sat on the couch, putting your socked feet up. Still looking into the number of mail he had on his hands.

“Hello (Name). Made anyone cry today?” Your dad jests.

“No, but it’s only four-thirty.” You smile cheekily at him, to which he chuckles back at you.

“Hi, daddy.” Your sister butts in, coming down the stairs. Sang-min gives your dad a quick kiss on the cheek. “Hello, dear.” 

Looking at your sister and lying on your stomach on the sofa with your hands supporting your chin, you start your array of questions. “So, where have you been?” 

Quickly shutting you down, Sang-min looks at you with threateningly wide eyes. “Nowhere.”

“Hey, what’s this? Kyonggi University in Suwon?” Your dad suddenly pipes up, making you shoot yourself up from the sofa. Taking the piece of opened mail from your father’s hands and scanning it yourself. And there, it was written in bold:

«We are pleased to acknowledge and congratulate Ms. Ryang (Name) on her application’s acceptance. We were very impressed….»

Any message after that didn’t matter to you as the excitement and happiness caught up to you first. Jumping around and looking between the fancy paper, your sister, and your father, anyone could see how happy this made you from a mile away.

“I got in. I got in!!!” You yell for the umpteenth time, now running and plopping yourself back on the sofa, currently reading the whole message of the letter.

Your father followed behind you with a worried look. At the same time, your sister was curious about the current situation, following suit with your dad.

“Isn’t Suwon too far off Central Seoul?” Your dad asks.

“That’s one of the reasons why it’s absolutely perfect!” You grin.

“I thought we… Decided you were going to stay here and go to school? There’s a lot of universities in Seoul.” Your dad suddenly starts listing all the universities nearby, including the one he went to, even mimicking their university mascot. “Wooh! Go, Seoul!”

Your eyebrow raises before it scrunches together in confusion. Facing back to meet your father and sister’s gazes, you reply. “No, you decided.”

A small air of silence.

“Oh, okay. So what, you just pick up and leave, is that it?” Your dad gives you the same expression that you were now showing him. An air of annoyance was starting to radiate off you, and your sister didn’t seem to have picked up on that. Even annoyingly does her sweet smile while saying, “Let’s hope so.”

You now mirror her sickly smile. “Oh, dad, ask Sang-min who drove her home.”

“(Name) don’t change the—” Your dad points at you before facing your sister at record speed. “Drove? Who drove you home?”

“Now, don’t get upset, Daddy, but there’s this boy….” Your sister starts, testing the waters.

But you cut her off. “Who’s a flaming imbecile, by the way.”

“Please.” Your dad shushes you, but your sister starts blowing off. “And I think he might ask me—”

“Please! I think I know what he’s going to ask you.” Your dad then cuts your sister off too. Holding on to her forearms in a worried manner. “And I think the answer is always no. No. It’s always no.” Your sister’s expression turns crestfallen at your father’s reaction.

Your dad then directs her to sit beside you on the couch. Starting with his sermon every time the topic of dating arose. “What are the two house rules?” He says, volume now raised.

Once your sister sits on the couch, your dad answers his questions. “Number one. No dating until you graduate.”

And… “Number two. No dating until you graduate.” Your dad finishes counting the rules with his fingers. “That’s it. That’s all the rules.”

Sang-min crosses her arms, showing a deep pout. “But that’s so unfair!”

“Alright, you wanna know what’s unfair? This is for you too.” Your dad starts again, and you can already see where this is going. “This morning, I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl. You know what she said?”

In your mind, you recited: I’m a crack whore who should have made my skeezy boyfriend wear a condom.

“I’m a crack whore who should have made my skeezy boyfriend wear a condom?” Your sister said for you aloud.

Yeah, got that right. Sometimes, you even wonder how you and your sister can share the same thoughts. Your dad pauses for a while, raising his brows in acknowledgment. That hit the nail right on the head. “Close, but no.” Never mind, then.

“She said, ``I should have listened to my father.`` ”

“Oh, she did not say that!” Sang-min argues.

“Well, that’s what she would have said if she wasn’t doped up.”

You remained quiet for the whole ordeal while your sister was totally blowing up. You hear your sister groan, and she flails her arms forward before saying, “Can we please just focus on me for a second?”

“I am the only girl in school who’s not dating.” 

“Oh, no, you’re not.” Your dad shakes his head quickly and then refers to you. “Your sister’s not dating.”

“Aaand I don’t intend to.” You assure your point by looking between your sister and your dad.

“And why is that again?” Your father declares.

“Is that even a question? I mean, come on, dad. Jaewon’s either filled with boys who probably don’t even wash their hair,” You count with your fingers. “Snotty prepubescent little boys who think they’re it with their branded clothes, probably stolen shoes, or just major criminal-looking men.” The last one suddenly had your brain remind you of the boy who flashed you a smile. Internally shaking away the intrusive thoughts because that was not what you meant by criminal looks.

“Where did you even come from?” Sang-min gawks, “Planet Loser?”

“Oh, yeah? As opposed to Planet, `` Look at me, look at me.``” You taunt, with your hands flailing around like one of those nobles from the 1800s.

A swift clap of hands disrupted your little argument, making the two of you look up at your father. “Okay, here’s how we solve the problem. Old rule out. New rule in, Sang-min can date.”

Your dad’s statement leaves your mouth open in shock, and for Sang-min to cross her arms and smiles happily. Your father begins to walk off, but just before he does, he finishes his sentence. Walking backward and pointing to you. “When she does.”

And suddenly, the happy smile Sang-min had was replaced with the bitter shock that overtook her. She stands up abruptly, trying to chase your dad while you laugh at the situation.

“Wait, dad, but what if she never dates? She’s a total mutant!”

Your dad shrugs. “Then you’ll never date.” Turning his back, he mumbles to himself. “Oh, I like that. And I’ll get to sleep at night!”

Raising his finger, he makes his point clearer. “The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren’t out being impregnated.” Then the ring from his phone indicates the end of the conversation.

Standing up from the sofa, you walk off to your room while your dad points at you as he prepares to leave. “We’ll talk about Kyonggi University later.” You give him a hum of affirmation, going up the stairs that lead to your room. On the other hand, your sister tried to convince your unmoving dad, so, in the end, she resorts to you.

With a hand on the wooden rail of the stairs, she yells. “Can’t you just find someone blind and deaf to take you to the movies so I can have one date?!”

Turning to face her and looking down, you smile at her. “I’m sorry. Guess you’ll just have to miss out on the dreamboat Jin Ho “Eat me” Bin.” You pout.

Your sister gives you a scoff, waving you off and whining. “You suck!”

“You suck~” You mock her back, and she groans, annoyed by you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Flipping the pages of the thick book that had «Speak English for Dummies!» right on the title page, at the moment, Jerry was trying his best to take in the overloaded amount of information so he could teach Sang-min all that which he learned. Yeah, he got lucky to score an English tutoring session with Sang-min, so he was trying his best on this! While avidly reading, the quick tapping of heels behind Jerry and the following plop of a bag on his desk made Jerry look up at the beauty that greeted him.

Sang-min smiles at him, and he feels his heart fly out of his chest.

“Hi. I almost thought I got the wrong table. I didn’t expect someone like you to volunteer as my English tutor.” Sang-min begins, and Jerry? Well, he was still formulating the words to reply in his head. “Actually… Can we make this quick?”

“Zack Lee and Daniel Park are having an incredibly horrendous public fight in their class, again.”

For the whole duration that Sang-min was talking, Jerry was unknowingly leaning close to listen to her voice more. It was until she stopped speaking did Jerry regain his stance. Stuttering, he says, “O-oh… Well, you s-see. Okay, I thought we’d start with pronunciation, i-if that’s alright with you.”

“Not the overuse of Rs. It’s actually so hard to remove our natural Korean accent. Can we start on anything else, please?”

“Ah, well, there is an alternative.” Jerry poses.

“There is?”

Jerry scratches his cheek, looking back to the back. “Yeah, uh, we can try American Food. We could, uh, e-eat some together. Maybe… Saturday night?” As subtle as he can, he tries to look back at Sang-min.

Sang-min squints her eyes with a genuine smile. Trying to decipher what was going on. Speaking up, she says, “You’re Asking me out?”

Then Sang-min grins, showing off her white teeth. “That’s so cute! I never expected you to be so timid too. What’s your name again?” She leans on her chin.

“J-Jerry.” He says, looking down bashfully with his hands and fingers crossed together in such a behave-looking position. “Jerry Kwon.”

Jerry clears his throat and smiles at Sang-min too. “I know your dad doesn’t let you date, but since we’re studying so you could learn English, you know….” Around Sang-min, Jerry had the peculiar habit of scratching his cheek or picking on his nails.

“Oh, sorry, wait a minute. Tom…” Sang-min cuts off.

“Jerry.” He corrected timidly.

“My dad actually came up with a new rule. So I can date when my sister does.” Sang-min trails off with her sentence.

“Really?” Jerry perks up, and suddenly, his whole body faces her while he is still sitting on the chair. “Do you like sailing? I read about this place that rents boats made for—”

“A colossal problem, Jeremy.” Jerry almost speaks up to correct his name again, but Sang-min continues. “In case you haven’t heard, my sister’s a hideous breed of loser.”

Feeling down, Jerry picks on the corner of one of the pages in the open book. “Y-yeah, I heard she was a little antisocial. Do you know why?”

“The only mystery even Scooby-doo can’t solve.” Sang-min shrugs. “She used to be popular, and then it was like, she got sick of it or something.”

“Theories abound as to why, but I’m pretty sure she’s incapable of human interaction. I mean, she basically, like, has no friends now.” Sang-min continues, smiling at Jerry again. “Plus, she’s a bitch.”

Jerry sweats at this, trying to cook up his solutions. “But I’m sure, you know, that there are lots of guys who wouldn’t, you know, mind going out with a difficult wo-man.” Jerry stutters throughout his sentence. Trying to regain his point, he shakes his hands because he feels what he said was wrong.

“I mean, you know, people jump out of airplanes and ski off cliffs or beat up a hundred guys to protect a street. It’d be like, uh, like, Extreme Dating!”

“Shhh!” A couple of students reacted at the back when Jerry picked up his volume by the end. Though once they saw Jerry apologizing sincerely, they piped down due to sheer intimidation.

Now hush-hush between Sang-min and Jerry, who leaned into each other to whisper instead. Sang-min cooks up a reply to what Jerry was trying to say earlier. “You think you can find someone that extreme?”

“I think so…” For you. Jerry thinks.

“You’d do that for me?” Sang-min holds her hand out to touch Jerry’s arm. Suddenly hyped up, Jerry immediately says: “Yes!” Nodding his head avidly.

A smack of a hand on their table catches their attention briefly. Showing a brunette guy with a messy haircut looking at them with an intense glare. “Quiet down.” And then he leaves, Jerry, taking note of the black army jacket that he wore.

Jerry comes down from his high, focusing on the girl of his dreams right next to him. “I mean— I’ll, I could, I could look into it.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“There’s a lot of guys from our department. Maybe you can find one here.” Brad says, leading Jerry into the Sophomores' area, right into the deep man cave—the jungle that is the Architecture Dept.

With his hand resembling the “OK” gesture, Jason kisses the tips of his put-together thumb and index. “The finest of Jaewon.” And then the door opens.

It revealed a bunch of guys who were… Weightlifting? Half the class wore black leather jackets with “BNC” and a burning knuckle brass on top of the text. It trailed off to the sleeves with duplicated horizontal lines trailing down to the end. The other half had their jumpsuits down to reveal either a white shirt covered with a plain black coat or just the black jacket paired with whatever shirt or lack thereof they had.

Yes, the Architecture Department was filled with only men for the longest time. Usually, they’d form a single group under a single leader who had shown the most tremendous power amongst the whole batch. But for this year, there were two groups. The other was Burn Knuckles under Vasco, and the other was Big Deal. Under Jake Kim.

What they had in common was that they were formed with the pretense that they were solely just like their leader and had chosen to follow either of the two for as long as they could. Does this spark war, you ask? Well, neither of the leaders aren’t really into unnecessary fights. So, in the end, they simply coexist. Initially, Big Deal was from Sinu Han, an alumnus of Jaewon.

“Osu! Everyone from Big Deal, say hello to the No. 2!” Brad Lee pipes up, and the members of Big Deal immediately stand up from their seats to greet the freshman.

Even the men from Burn Knuckles thought Jerry was already an alumnus, whispering about how big he looked. Is this guy really a student? Was the question most asked.

“No. 2, Jerry Kwon! Welcome to our classroom!” They bow at a perfect ninety-degree angle.

“Geez, what’s the ruckus?” Jace scratches his ear, waking up from his power nap on the floor. When his eyes flit to Jerry, he reels. “Woah.”

“Our junior here was just asking for help. He’s looking for a guy that would be fit for a girl.”

“...” The classroom freezes and digests the information.

“A girl.”

“A girl?!” They yell in unison.

“Should I volunteer, Jace?” Vasco grins, tapping his best friend’s shoulder. Contrariwise, Jace was measuring the situation. He thinks about why a mafia boss has visited them. Vasco and I were just visiting the sophomores. I guess it was the right time to hang around…

Suddenly, everyone was raising their hands and asking questions.

Is she pretty?

From what department?

Can she lift 100kg?

“Who’s the girl first?” Jace asks, raising his hand, and the crowd goes silent. They were all waiting for the answer. Yui Kim? Zoe Park? Joy Hong? Ryang Sang-min?

“Ryang…” They all listen closely. Sang-min? Sang-min? Sang-min!?

“(Name).” Brad finishes.

And suddenly, they all slump their backs. No longer listening to whatever offer Brad and Jason were trying to give them. In the back, even Vasco was put down. Shivering, he recalls, “She once told me that I smelled.”

He cries to Jace, “Do I smell, Jace?!”

Jace pats Vasco’s back while the rest of the Burn Knuckles yell their reprisals. “You don’t smell, Vasco!”

“If Vasco smells, then Burn Knuckle smells!”

“It’s the true smell of a man.”

The other half of Big Deal was awfully quiet, avoiding the looks Jerry, Jason, and Brad were giving them. Absolutely no support whatsoever. None, nein, nothing. Brad sighs and palms his similarly shaven head.

“Well, we’re empty. Sorry, Jerry.” Brad apologizes while Jason tries to comfort the sad giant.

“I told you it was pointless, the girl’s hopeless man,” Jason says.

Jerry frowned as he slowly left the room. He looked like a sad baby. All things, including the scars on his face, were set aside. The rest of the sophomores felt terrible, mainly the ones under Big Deal, but it even caught the attention of Vasco and Jace by the end. At least until Jerry bumped into someone right before the sophomores’ classroom. When Jerry focused on who it was,

“Jake!” Jerry exclaims, to which Jake replies with an easygoing smile.

“Hey. Eat lunch yet?” Jake greets, patting Jerry’s shoulder. “You should eat more. Nutrients are important.”

Once the other members of Big Deal spotted their leader standing right outside the door talking to Jerry, they immediately crowded the entrance in a straight line. Once more, in unison, they speak at a volume that could be heard from the highest to the lowest floor of the whole school.

“Boss Jake! Welcome to our class!”

“Don’t I get a greeting too?” Samuel pops out beside Jake, who was busy telling them to lower their voices to not disrupt other classes.

The other Big Deal members stay quiet, and Samuel laughs, putting his hands in his pockets. “How come I feel a little hurt, huh? I was your number two for a while, too, you know.”

“The only number two you’ll be from now on is when you go to the toilet,” Jake says, using his index finger to pull his cheek down and poke his tongue out toward the male. Samuel was smiling, but a visible irk mark formed on his forehead.

While the two bicker, Jerry is downcast again. Jake immediately notices this.

“Hey, you okay, big guy? You know, if something’s wrong, I can always help.”

This perks Jerry up, and Samuel flinches at the sight of how Jerry is starkly different from what you’d assume his character was at first glance. It was then that Jerry recalled everything since the very beginning. From when he met Sang-min to his current dilemma: Finding someone that can date you.

“Oh, so that was your only problem?” Samuel reacts first. Leaning with his hand on Jake’s shoulder, he rubs his fingers together in front of Jerry. “If you’ve got money, maybe I can find someone to take up the job.”

“I’ll do it.” Jake perks up.

That was the second time that everyone froze. All motion stopped inside the classroom. It wasn’t just Big Deal that reacted harshly, screaming altogether with Burn Knuckles.

“WHAT?!”

“He’s a true man, Jace. Maybe I should have taken the chance too. He feels so cool right now.” Vasco feels a teardrop on his cheek.

“Vasco…” Jace says. Looking at the unknowing man who was scratching his chin, Jace thinks He’s not normal. Is this why he’s the ``Big Boss`` of Big Deal!?

“BOSS! You don’t have to sacrifice yourself!” Some of the members from Big Deal retort.

Samuel recovers, breathing heavily as if he’d just been beaten to a pulp. “Jake, you’re different after all.”

Jerry sees his new hope surface in the face of Jake Kim. He hugged his big brother, who was ironically smaller than him. Unbeknownst to Jerry, he also accidentally squeezed Samuel. Squishing the two men together in the bigger man’s arms, making their cheeks stick and for Samuel to tap Jerry’s back multiple times as a sign for Tapping Out.

Suddenly, Brad speaks up. “But for Boss Jake to date (Name), he’ll need money for the dates. Do you have any funds on you, Boss?”

Jerry lets go of the two boys who are fixing their clothes. Samuel was rapidly wiping his cheek off, acting as if Jake had cooties. Jake, on the other hand, simply patted himself off of imaginary dust and replied, taking his pockets out that held nothing but crumpled paper and a bunch of coins.

“Nope.”

“Then you guys need a backer,” Samuel suggests, fixing his glasses on his nose.

“What’s that?” Jake asks.

“Someone stupid, but with money.”

From the room, anyone could hear the oohs coming from the Archi Dept. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It was break time in the school’s crowded cafeteria. At one of the tables, there was a student drawing boobs on one of the lunch trays with a permanent marker. That student was surrounded by his lackeys, as usual, save for one who wasn’t a lackey.

“Oh yeah.” Vin Jin says as he keeps on with his masterpiece.

“You look like a third grader who just learned how to draw, Vin.” Mary insults. 

“Vin Jin,” Jason says, sitting on the table with the rest of Big Deal, save for Jake. “He’s perfect.”

“Wait, he has money?” Brad asks.

“I mean, his shoes don’t look cheap. And he’s perfect. He likes Sang-min, too, so he’s sure to back Jake up if it means ``scoring.``”

Jerry grumbles at the term. “He will not ``score.``”

“Of course. Since that also means you can go on a date with your girl and have a chance at beating the jerkoff. We let him pretend that he’s calling the shots, so while he pays Jake to take out (Name), you can take your sweet time with Sang-min.” Jason explains

“Win-win!” Jason cheers, putting his arms up.

With this, the rest of Big Deal also cheers at the table. Jerry nods, understanding the situation. He admits, “It’s a pretty good idea.”

But a question now raises itself: Who’ll ask Vin Jin? See, none of them were intimidated, but they needed to pick the right person for the job to be done right. Because if Vin Jin refuses, then Jerry will never get married! Big Deal offered to gather up their funds together for Jake, but Jake refused to use his own group’s money. As Samuel said, if he was going to use someone else’s money, he might as well use the money of someone he didn’t care about. This made the other Big Deal members cry and inadvertently strengthened the loyalty they had for Jake Kim.

In the end, they picked one of the most reasonable people in Big Deal. Their one and only Lineman. Just as he approaches Vin’s table, Mary leaves to buy a drink. She gives a quick greeting to the guy, which Lineman acknowledges before passing each other. At the same time, Lineman takes the seat Mary once sat on and turns it so that he faces Vin Jin, who is puckering his lips in disdain.

The whole exchange was watched over intently by Jerry, Jason, Brad, and the rest of Big Deal. Lineman was their No. 6, after all. They couldn’t hear anything, but they saw the expression on Vin’s face change from annoyed to semi-interested. Even putting the cap of his marker back on, forgetting about drawing on the lunch tray. On their side…

“The Ryang sisters, they can’t date. Specifically, Sang-min can’t date if her older sister doesn’t.” Lineman starts pointing at the table to simply prove his point, “She can’t go out with you because nobody wants to go out with Ryang (Name). Well,” Lineman claps.

“See, what we think—”

“Wait, we?” Vin cuts him off. “Who the fuck are we?”

Lineman gives a glance and a nod to the side, pertaining to the many eyes that were overlooking the single table that had Vin and his two other friends in tow. Vin, for some reason, feels more animosity from the monster that sat in the middle of their long, lined table staring at him. Vin stays quiet and looks back at Lineman, who continues what he is saying.

“What we think is that you need to hire a guy who’ll go out with her.”

Vin places his elbow on the table, resting his chin on his palm and tapping his cheek. Still, with his puckered lips, this time, in thought. One of Vin’s friends then speaks up.

“What’s even in it for you guys?”

Lineman wastes no time responding, already having thought of this coming. “Our boss thinks that it’s a good idea to form good relationships with other departments. And you look like you’re the boss of Vocal & Dance. It’s only necessary to strengthen our bonds as students of Jaewon-High.” He preaches with no stutters.

“Who’s the guy you have in mind?” Vin Jin asks.

Right on time, Jake enters the cafeteria, yawning and looking like he just woke up from a sound sleep. He had a cowlick on the right side of his head, and a pen that he probably overlooked was still stuck on his cheek. Lineman points to him subtly with his hand.

“That guy? What makes you think that guy could stand the nutcase of a woman?” Vin inquires, already skeptical that he is just getting used for his money.

“He’s not the boss of Big Deal for no reason. A solid investment.” Lineman smirks.

With the sound of chairs being pushed back and feet padding across the hall, a clear path was made just so Jake Kim could pass through to an empty table with a meal already prepared with no problems. Vin also notices the visible slanted vertical scar that grazed Jake’s mouth. He felt a subtle chill on his neck before he cleared his throat.

“Tch. Fine. I’ll think about it.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Field day.

Jake was sitting on one of the benches while the other students of J-high were either doing gym classes, having free time, or running around the grounds playing whatever sport they felt like. The sun was high, and it was hot with no shade, so Jake had to squint everywhere he looked. His black coat was off, leaving him in the baggy pants of the black jumpsuit for those in their Senior year with the top half let down, leaving him in a white tank top, his tattoos from his chest visible up to the ones on his wrists due to the sweat cultivating on his skin.

Jake had just taken a single stick of cigarette and lit it up, putting it in his mouth and inhaling.

Smoking was banned in school, but since his first year in Jaewon, Jake’s learned the habit of the professors that scolded the students for smoking. Plus, he’s got lookouts.

“Hey.” The callout makes Jake look at Vin, wearing gold chains and his leopard-printed sunglasses, he was missing his hat, and his favorite black and white-striped jacket hung on his shoulder, so this time, he was also in a tank top, though it was black. “Fuck.” He utters under his breath.

“You're the Big Boss, right?” Vin Jin asks. He was with his two other friends.

“Do I know you?” Jake asks, looking at Vin with bored eyes, tapping on the cigarette to let the ashes on the tip fly off in the passing wind.

Vin laughs under his breath, annoyed. He was about to take back his greeting and leave, thinking that the guy that talked to him probably messed with him. But Jake interrupts Vin’s thoughts as Jake remembers what Jerry told him.

“Nevermind, I remember now.”

Of course, I’m the boss of our department. Hah! Everyone knows me! Vin rubs his chin, releasing a devious smile. This makes Jake stop and visibly cringe. Man, this dude’s ugly. 

Standing a little closer, Vin smugly puts his hands on his hips and looks at where you are currently playing soccer with your class. This makes Jake look in front of him, right where Vin Jin is looking.

“You see that girl?”

“Hm,” Jake replies, inhaling another hit from the cig. 

“That’s Ryang (Name). I want you to go out with her.” Vin ordered.

While Jerry Kwon was in class, he suddenly felt the need to sneeze. “A-Who do you think you are, talking to Jake like that-Choo!” Everyone in his class looked at him weirdly, deservingly so. But Jerry seemed to have no clue why everyone was staring at him as he rubbed his nose. A thought came into mind while the professor in Jerry’s class resumed his lesson: I wonder if someone is disrespecting Jake right now…

Back to the field where Jake and Vin were staring at you— correction— Vin was staring at Jake, and Jake was staring at you. Jake realized that you were the girl that flipped him off on the bus a couple of weeks ago.

“You already know the conditions, right?” Vin continued as Jake remained silent. Giving Vin the passive treatment.

Now that Jake was actually at the premise of pulling it off, he felt terrible. Not for using Vin’s money. But because this whole ordeal felt as if you were the ultimate pawn and that everyone just wanted to get past you so they could get to your sister. But the image of Jerry’s sad face, and Vin’s annoying-ass face, got Jake reeling. I mean, he’ll be using this asshat’s money, and he’ll get to know you. Maybe it’ll be worth it, Jake thinks as he watches you breathe heavily, bending over slightly, with your hair sticking to your forehead, in the school’s soccer team uniform that was nearly skin tight from the immense practice it went through.

“So, you’ll be investing in me, isn’t that right? Let’s get this over with.” Jake puffs out another smoke. He hands out his hand, waiting for Vin to hand over his ``downpayment``. 

Vin smirks, happy to get his plans in motion.

Vin takes out the cash from his wallet and hands it to Jake, folded. Putting the cigarette in his mouth, Jake unfolds the cash to reveal about a hundred bucks. Guess Vin was stupid. But with money.

Jake pockets the early compensation and puts his cigarette out with his foot. With that, Vin walks off with his friends.

[...]

“Great practice, everybody! Good hustle, Ryang.” Your coach, Mr. Minji, calls.

You jog to the bench where the rest of the team’s stuff is placed. You thank your coach for the praise before you wipe the sweat on your forehead, threatening to drip on your eyes. God knows how much it stings when it drips into your eyes. You were fixing your bag, trying to look for your thermal 1.8L water bottle. When you finally found it, you unscrewed the cap and took a long drink to rehydrate.

Just as you finish, a familiar face greets you.

“Hey there, pretty. How’re you?” Jake Kim offers you his most charming close-eyed smile, along with a wink right after. Even leaning on his knees for a second to adjust to your more petite frame in contrast to his larger build.

You give a tight smile back, nodding. The fuck… “Sweating like a pig. And yourself?” You sling your bag over your shoulder.

“Here, trying to get your attention.” Jake shrugs and points to himself with his index finger. “You certainly got mine.”

“Finally.” You breathe out, and Jake tilts his head. Finally…? Were you— “You’ve certainly helped me achieve my mission in life since I’ve struck your fancy. It worked. Thanks.” You say with the most lifeless tone. Oh. 

Jake gives you a small laugh, following behind you closely whilst you walk. Which was faster than an average person, he noticed. Having a hard time catching up even with his giant strides. He places his hands in his jumpsuit’s pockets, now walking toe-to-toe beside you. Leaning a little closer so you could hear him amidst the array of students, Jake says with an air of playfulness:

“Pick you up on Friday?”

“Oh. Right, Friday.” You nod in mock enthusiasm before raising your hand in front of his face. “Uhuh.”

“I’ll take you places you’ve never been before.” Jake raises his already naturally arched brows.

“Take me places— Where? The Hypermarket in Gangnam?” You squint at him, unknowingly raising your shoulders in protest of his bad ideas. Plus, “Do you even know my name, dog boy?”

Jake stops in his steps for a while as you continue walking in front of him. “Ryang (Name).” Which makes you stop walking to face him with squinted brows. Both from the heat of the sun, and the way that he did, in fact, know your name. You two stand there for a while, almost recreating the time when you saw him on the bus.

“Doesn’t matter. Screw off.” Then, you walk away. Leaving Jake Kim to think.

In the sophomores’ classroom in the Architecture Dept, everyone, including non-Big Deal members, watched the whole interaction between the infamous Ryang (Name) and the more famous Jake Kim. They even saw how their Big Boss was left in the dust by the girl. Some were still commending Jake, some of the Big Deal members cried for Jake, while Jason and Brad…

“Jerry’s screwed. We’re screwed.” Jason relays to Brad.

“Hey, no, are you saying you don’t trust the Big Boss?” Brad replies. Though in his mind, he thought the same thing. To distract himself, he says, “We should be upbeat, upbeat!”

“We’re~! Screwed~!”

Brad could only nod and sigh at Jason in defeat. Placing his gaze back towards their boss, who was still standing there in the middle of the field, looking in the direction that you left him off with.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You just finished washing your face, already preparing for bed. You wiped your face off the droplets of water sticking to your skin, feeling refreshed.

“Have you considered a new look?” Your sister brings up abruptly. You shared the same bathroom, after all. “Like, seriously, you have some definite potential under all that hostility.”

Still patting your face with the soft towel, you give her a reply. “It’s not hostility. Just annoyed.”

Sang-min begins playing with your hair, trying to style it before you lightly push her off. She sits on her chair where a vanity mirror is displayed, reflecting her image. “Why don’t you try being nice? People won’t know what to think.”

You check if you have any zits on your face, “You forget, I don’t care what people think.” 

“Yes, you do.” Your sister quips, brushing her hair lightly as she stares into her reflection.

“No, I don’t.” You say with a subtle authority in your tone. You squint at Sang-min’s reflection, “You don’t always have to be who they want you to be, you know.”

A small air of pause as Sang-min finally notices you looking at her through her reflection. She looks back at you, “I happen to like being adored, thank you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You come out of the B&B Music Store after your little hustle of finding new headphones. You often visit here because they also sell instruments. And since you’re a well-known regular, sometimes, they let you try out the electric guitar you’ve been pining for and saving for since the dawn of time. It was almost afternoon, but the day was relatively calm, and the sun wasn’t too intense. A perfect day.

Until you see who’s leaning on your car. It was a blue and white used Chevy Chevrolet 1955 car that you also saved up for the longest time. Though your dad chipped in when it was your birthday, you’re proud of using the majority of your money on it. You don’t use it often since Jaewon wasn’t exactly filled with angels.

“Nice car. Very vintage.” Jake comments with a friendly smile, supporting his tall frame with his forearm on the roof of the car.

“Jake Kim…” You breathe out, pinching your nose. This makes Jake flinch, propping himself up from your car. “Are you actually following me?” 

With your accusation, Jake quickly raises his hands in surrender. “I was not! Please don’t think I’m a weirdo!”

You raise your brow, crossing your arms, waiting for more than that shitty excuse. Jake takes the hint and points back with his thumb. “I was in the laundromat. I saw you enter the store a couple of minutes ago. I came over to wait for you so I could say hi.”

“Honest.” Jake finishes off, drawing a cross over his heart. Today, he was in white, casual loose pants, a hoodie in a really light shade of brown, coated with another jacket in dark denim that was open, and plain white shoes.

“Eyes up here, pretty,” Jake smirks playfully, crossing his arms this time. This idiot. To think I was about to compliment his fashion taste.

“You came to say hi, right? Well, hi.” You remark, walking over to the door that led to the driver’s seat, just where Jake was blocking earlier. Just as you were reaching for the handle, he slid to stop it from your reach again.

“You don’t like talking much, do you?” Jake cranes his neck to level his face with yours.

You smile sweetly at him. “Hm, depends on the topic. My car nor your trip to the laundromat doesn’t really whip me into a ``verbal frenzy.`` Run along and wash your sweaty uniforms now.”

“You’re tough. You’re not scared of me?” Jake pouts. You don’t give him a reaction. He sighs and rolls his jacket sleeves up. “Not even one of these guns?”

“About forty-five percent of the school’s population consists of boys like you flaunting their inked skin. So why should I be afraid of you?”

“Hmmm… I don’t usually flaunt this, but how does being No. 1 of Big Deal sound?”

“Sounds like you’ve thought of that name just so you can say that you’re ``The Big Deal`` ‘round these parts. Corny when you actually hear it, sorry. Not afraid of that, big boy. Think of something else for me.”

Jake, still with his jacket sleeves rolled up, chuckles. He finds your replies genuinely interesting. Leaning a little closer towards you, “Okay, well, maybe you’re not afraid of me….”

“But I’m sure you’ve thought of me naked.” Jake gives you a cheeky smile and a sneaky wink.

You gasp. And Jake thinks he’s finally got you. “Am I that transparent?”

Placing your hand over your chest and leaning a little closer with every word, “I want you, I need you. Oh, baby. Oh, baby.” Jake actually blushed a little from the distance you closed in the short amount of time. If only you didn’t say that with the dullest voice and expressionless face, maybe he’d have felt butterflies.

You finally got a hold of the door handle, prompting Jake to push himself off the door. He scratches the back of his head in another failure.

“Careful on the drive home.” Jake waves, going back to his dirty laundry, waiting across the street as you prepare to leave, happy to be in your car with no nuances anymore. You put in the key, trying a couple of times as usual before the engine starts. Putting the gear on reverse, you were just about to leave.

But a motorbike parks right behind you to block your exit, and you groan, realizing who it is. Today was definitely an asshole day. You switch gear back to Neutral and raise your hand break. Peeking out of your open window, Vin Jin walks past you.

“Do you mind?” You ask, already pissed.

“Not at all,” Vin replies, twirling the motorbike’s keys around his index finger.

“Fine.” You whisper. You push the hand break back down, shifting into reverse, and you back onto the bike. Enough to tumble it to the ground.

Across the street, Jake watches and laughs at the exchange. Samuel, in his casual wear composed of mid-thigh shorts and a printed black shirt covered with a maroon hoodie because his tattoos were showing more this time, looks to what made Jake laugh and saw the scene, chuckling to himself too. They both continue to observe you laughing at Vin’s rage.

They hear Vin Jin panic and scream at you for being a massive bitch whilst you drove off, probably not listening anymore.

The whole affair with you maiming Vin’s bike, which you found out was actually Mary’s cousin’s motorbike, reached your dad and your sister later that evening. Sang-min was mad that she had to take the bus to school instead of being taken to by Vin, and your dad was angry because, well, of course, you had to pay for the minor damages to the vehicle. Still, you say, it was worth it.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Vin Jin grimaces angrily as he finally spots the guy he hired. He walks towards Jake, who is sleeping on his desk. Vin pushes Jake’s shoulder to wake him. Jake stirs awake, still in the throes of his break time nap, when Vin already starts his scolding, trapping Jake on his chair with Vin’s arms that hold both sides of the table. Jake leans back, unamused and certainly not intimidated.

“I shell out a hundred. I expect results.” Vin says with clenched teeth. Even with multi-layer tinted sunglasses in a dimly lit room, you could feel just how piercing Vin’s gaze was toward Jake. Anyone could feel it. But he’s Jake Kim. All that did was remind him that he probably had saliva that dried on his chin, wiping it off during the whole ordeal. “Watching that bitch violate my motorbike doesn’t count as a date.”

“Now, if you don’t get any, I don’t get any.” Vin taunts, “So get some.” He pokes Jake’s chest.

Just as Vin turns to leave, Jake speaks up. “I just upped my price. Add ‘nother fifty, in advance.”

“Huuuuh? Forget it.” Vin scowls. “Well, forget her sister, then.” Jake rebukes, starting to lay back down on his desk, taunting Vin by making it look like he was making himself visibly comfortable.

The next series of events were Vin grumbling as he reached into his pocket and slammed the bill in front of Jake. “You better hope you’re as smooth as you think you are, Jake Kim.”

Jake sighs exasperatedly, pulling the bill to place it in his pocket. He then goes back to his nap to replenish enough energy before the bell rings.

[...]

“Class Schedule, Reading List, Concert Tickets to one of her many favorite indie bands playing tomorrow.” Sang-min lists off, giving some of it to Jerry.

Jake didn’t know what he was doing here right now. With your sister, Jerry, as well as Jason, and Brad, who were waiting outside to give him a call in case you get home. This is definitely wrong, an absolute breach of privacy. This all feels against his personal code of morals, and in the back of his head, he can hear his previous superior, Sinu Han, scolding him in the form of a tiny angel sitting on his shoulder.

“I don’t want to do this,” Jake says, out of the blue, making Sang-min stop rummaging through your drawers to look at him.

“You didn’t seem so opposed earlier. Plus, we’re doing this so I can go to the party with Jerry that Beom from Practical Music is hosting. Right, Jerry?” Sang-min recalls, placing both her hands on her hips as she looks at Jerry for affirmation. To which the big guy nods frantically with a small smile. Seeing how Jerry was really into going to a party with your sister, Jake couldn’t help but let go of his morals for a little bit.

“Plus, it was you guys that asked for help. I refused at first, too, because it was creepy when I first thought about it, but for the sake of my social life….” Sang-ming trails. “And we’re not going too far into her stuff. You guys better not be stalkers or something.”

Typically, Jerry didn’t really ask for much.

But rummaging through a girl’s room is wrong! Imaginary Sinu says. Well, he was right, but…

But she’s actually pretty, isn’t she? Plus, poor Jerry doesn’t ask for much. Stop worrying. Who was this? Jake asks himself at the immediate entrance of a new imaginary figure. It was… Samuel?! What the fuck was going on in his head…?

“Oh, look, black panties.” Sang-min smiles cheekily, nitpicking your plain black underwear taken from inside your top drawer. Jake immediately covers Jerry’s eyes with his hand.

“Cover your ears, Jerry!” Jake sputters quickly. And Jerry, ever obedient, follows quickly. Already having a light shade of pink on the tips of his ears at Sang-min exposing your… Garment.

“What does that have to do with me dating your sister?” Jake asks with a clenched jaw, pissed but more so flustered and red at the same time.

Sang-min couldn’t believe that a guy like Jake Kim didn’t know what black panties meant. “She wants to have sex someday.”

On Jake’s shoulders sat the imaginary figures. One was laughing his heart out, while the other had a similar reaction to Jake. Sinu, who was also quite red despite being depicted as an angel, gives Jake a go-go-okay sign. Who does he think he is for giving me a go sign?! Go away! Samuel couldn’t stop laughing and hitting Jake’s shoulder in his miniature stature.

“She could just like the color. How can I trust you?” Jake rebukes, peeling his eyes off the article that is still in your sister’s hand.

Sang-min groans as if it was apparent. “Women just don’t buy black lingerie for nothing. They buy it because they want someone to see it.” She raises her eyebrows at Jake when she finishes her sentence. Jakes covers half his face with his other free hand, and he feels the heat that stuck to his skin because of whatever Sang-min said.

[...]

“So, first thing, (Name) hates...” Brad starts. Jake puffs out a smoke whilst leaning on a billiard table that he and the guys reserved just to hang out for the night. “Smokers. She said, and I quote, ``Would rather die than date a smoker.``”

Jake puts his cigarette out, recalling the detail that Sang-min told them earlier.

“And she likes pretty guys!” Jason remarks with his index finger pointing up, “As proven by the picture of that idol DG that Sang-min showed us earlier.”

The small group went quiet as opposed to their other buddies talking on the other reserved billiard tables in the local night bar. Jake forbids most of them to drink if they’re under twenty-one like him, though. Which, really, they all are. It just so happens that this was run by one of the girls from their street. None of them spoke a word as Jake pushed his hair back on both sides. “I guess we have no problem with that part.”

“...” Jason and Brad stare at Jake.

“...” Jake stares at Jason and Brad.

“What?”

“Nothing, boss.” Brad states.

“You don’t think I’m pretty?” Jake asks the question they all dreaded. If Jerry was here, he probably would have agreed with no brakes, but Jake made him go home early. So he doesn’t forget to do his homework.

“Hey, no, he’s stunning!” Jason argues, lightly pushing Brad away, and points to Jake with both his hands. “Prettiest guy in Jaewon!”

“Gorgeous guy, of course.” Brad agrees, too, all of a sudden, grasping his head. “Just taking opinions. Everyone knows Jake is a pretty guy.”

Jake looks off, playing with his hands now that he can’t smoke. “So, she likes traditional Japanese food, indie rock, and psychological horror movies that can be portrayed easily in real life?”

Jason and Brad nod, knowing that Jake got it all right. 

“All right, then.” Jake finishes the conversation quickly, pushing himself off the edge of the billiard table and getting a cue stick, ready to play Pool. 

“Club ViVi, tomorrow night, her favorite band’s gonna be playing there,” Jason adds, getting a cue stick, too, whilst Brad prepares to arrange the balls for their game.

“Club ViVi?! I can’t be seen at Club ViVi.” Jake suddenly pipes up.

“But she’ll be there. She’s marked it in her calendar.” Jason rebukes, making Jake grasp his forehead in thought. He remembers getting into a brawl with their top bouncer there once, Xiaolung, was it?

“I mean, it’s just one night. Did you do something wrong there, Boss?” Brad looks at Jake, now having the balls arranged and prepped. He got a chalk to rub on the tip of his cue stick.

She has a pair of black underwear. His small demon, Samuel, whispered in his ear. Instinctively, Jake swats the image away, making Jason and Brad think there is a fly bothering Jake. Though they both wonder why their boss was red-faced all of a sudden.

“Nothing. It’s fine. I’ll go.” Jake shakes his head, still stuck on a particular image in his head.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The sticky air filled with sweat that any typical club would radiate permeated through the whole environment that was Club ViVi. Jake was easily let in by the two bouncers up front, allowing him to delve deeper into the club. He was trying his best to lay low and avoid meeting Xiaolung accidentally.

The club was full of drunk young adults, guys in loose shirts, and women in tight dresses. Jake opted to wear a black silk short-sleeved shirt that was unbuttoned from the top with a simple silver chain. He had black pants and black Johnston & Murphy pair of dress shoes. Jake didn’t bother tucking the shirt in his pants like Samuel told him, just allowing the smooth silk to stretch through his body. His tattoo sleeves were easily seen, and he was ogled by the many ladies that he quickly passed by.

The neon purple, pink, and the occasional green were blasting all through the rooms of Club ViVi, and Jake had to push through a bunch of people to get to the stage where a band called Bad Suns was playing. Jake’s eyes flit to the denser crowd surrounding the scene in the center of the glistering dance floor. Then to the band that was playing on the stage, shining with sweat.

“I had no reason to breathe,” Uninterested, Jake suddenly spots your image. “Until you knocked the wind out of me.”

You were wearing a white crisscrossed wrap top. Covering only what you wanted to cover. You had light-washed denim jeans and white strap heels, and despite the thin heels supporting your feet, you were still excitedly jumping around and dancing to the rhythm of the song. Full of energy, with a huge grin, your hair swayed and wrapped around your face. The same grin you had on was contagious enough to infect Jake Kim.

“Thanks for listening to Life Was Easier When I Only Cared About Me, now for Daft Pretty Boys! A one, a one-two-three!” The singer yells into the mic as the beat shifts.

As the song begins, Jake slowly makes his way to your singular form. He couldn’t believe that you go to clubs like this all alone. Even if there were so many raving people around him, Jake excused himself to keep going. Until he finally got behind you, who was still unaware. Jake bobs his head and moves lightly to the beats of the song just so he can meld with the others who are dancing with much more fervor than he was. He chose to focus more on you, waiting for you to notice his presence. Unwilling to disrupt your excitement and happiness at this moment.

“Like the gates of heaven are open now,”

Suddenly, Jake thinks about how anyone could ever be scared of you. How could anyone be angry with you? You were just— Abruptly, you accidentally stepped back and tripped backward, yelping on instinct. Your hands try to reach out for the closest support; your other leg is raised as the other is losing its balance. But just as you grab the silk material, Jake already has his stable hand supporting your back, you face him, and he meets you.

The flashing lights and the dark ambiance made it hard for you to recognize Jake at first. Thinking he was just a random boy who was trying to shoot his shot. Which wasn’t a pretty far-off conclusion, actually. 

Your eyes glowed with the neon lights, and his eyes could only softly reflect yours. With a dazed look, you finally figure it out, “Jake.” You breathe out.

“She says, ``There’s a dangerous kind of cool about you.``” The singer on the stage sang with fervor.

Jake raises you up from your leaning position smoothly. “What are you doing here?” You appraise, fixing yourself.

Still, Jake had his hand unconsciously on your back, ghosting above the semi-exposed skin. “I hang out here every now and then. I know a couple of people here.” Jake replies, leaning closer to your face so you can hear him talk. You face him, and you catch a whiff of the natural musk and a touch of mint from when Jake spoke. “You’re not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke.”

“I quit.” Jake grins at you, and he cups his mouth. “Apparently, they’re bad for me.”

“You think?” You snarkily reply. You clutch your forehead, regaining your balance while you hold onto Jake’s forearm that he so generously offered to you. “But thanks for having my back. I think I need water, though.”

As you started to navigate through the dancing crowd that was taking your last place, Jake’s figure was right behind you, helping to push the other people lightly. He has his arm stretched out, reaching just above your head, and you look back at him, and all he did was give you a thumbs up and a wide grin. Noticing his scar that stretched out with his grin and you try to clear your throat, ignoring the way his shirt was brushing your back as you walked off.

When the both of you arrived, the bartender was cleaning a glass. When Jake looks up from your form, he notices who the bartender is. “Johan?”

“Oh. Hey.” The boy replies curtly. Jake leans on the counter, sitting right beside where you sat. “Did you always work here? Aren’t you a minor?”

“I make the drinks. I don’t drink them.” He explains. “I’ve been looking for a well-paying part-time job these days.”

Johan then looks at you then flits back to Jake. Mildly interested in how Ryang (Name) and Jake Kim mixed out of the blue.

“Uh, hey. I just need some water.” You call out to the boy. Nodding, Johan reaches out from the cooler behind him after he places the shot glass down. When he handed it to you, he decided to leave you and Jake to your own devices. Johan wasn’t one for engaging in gossip or whatnot.

Taking the cold bottle of water, you try to open the cap. But it was way tighter than it should be. Jake was looking at you struggle all this time, and you felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He takes the bottle from your hands and opens it with ease, handing it back to you.

“Thank you again.” You fix a strand of your hair and drink the water. Both to cool down from all your burst of energy on the dance floor earlier and from the irritating man that was sitting beside you. Wiping your lip from the water, you face Jake. “If you’re planning on asking me out again, you might as well just get over it.”

Jake opts to lean on his enclosed hand supported by the table. He chooses to change the topic just as he drinks the glass of orange juice Johan left for him. “You know,” Jake starts with a loud volume, giving you a cheeky side glance, “These guys, Bad Suns? They’re pretty good. Though they’re no Weathers or the Technicolors.”

You feel your ears perk up at what he said. Skeptically, your reply. “You know who the Weathers are?”

Jake stands up and leaves his glass on the table. You quickly follow right behind him, with the both of you ending up just a ways back from the center, looking over the most crowded area in the entire club.

“Secret’s Safe With Me. Gave it a listen.” Jake says, inserting his hands in his pocket and using the other to tap his ear.

You pause, still holding on to the water bottle you got earlier. You’re surprised someone like Jake would even care about a band like Weathers. “I saw you out there earlier. Never seen you prettier than when you smile while dancing.”

“You’ve probably only seen me like, what, three, four times?” You chuckle. Jake then notices a waiter carrying trays filled with a bunch of margaritas about to pass by you at an unsteady pace. So, by instinct, he clears the path for the waiter. By having his hand no longer ghost above your back.

You face Jake’s semi-exposed chest, and you internally reel at the proximity of your bodies. Jake could feel your breath near his neck, and he had to gulp to think of something else quickly. But your hands were grounding him, and he could almost feel how you were trying your best not to be pushed further into him so that your chest won’t crash with his. Jake finally looks down at you only to find you already staring up at him, and he feels a form of heat rush up to his head, losing his cool and finding his words. Looking for them in the glimmer of your eyes.

“Come to Beom’s party with me.” Jake finally breathes out, something only you can hear in the noisy atmosphere.

What he says finally grounds you, “You never give up, do you?” You lightly tap on his chest, and he’s left there dumbfounded as you walk back to the dancefloor, right in front of the stage.

But Jake has to know. Cupping both his hands around his mouth, he shouts. “Was that a yes?!”

“No!” You reply, back turned.

Jake tries to catch up to you, grabbing your wrist lightly. “Then, was it a no…?”

You face him, with a close-eyed smile, just like his. “No.”

[dreamtydraw]

In honor of Derek's birthday being yesterday -- can we hear about Cerise & Derek?

*inhale* DEREK MY BOI I FAILED U I FORGOT TO DRAW SOMETHING FOR YOUR BIRDYYYYY NAAAAAAAAAUR

*stop sobbing* WELL THE LOVERBIRDS-

I made a post once with tons of fun facts and like, a sort of large plan on how they must have liked each other when they were young (here)

But now let’s focus on some details of their actual show of affection.

٩(｡•ω•｡)و

Cerise is a hugging person, when she doesn’t talk she compensates with physical touch if comfortable enough and Derek is the first victim.

Holding hand, hugs, cuddling, arm pat, hair brushing you name it.

-Despite being taller in step 2, Cerise constantly hides behind him. (She asked for no pickle), which lead to comicly absurd situation where Derek try to be the brave one and cerise just look behind him.

This doesn’t work anymore in step 4, not only he’s now taller but also bigger, and she dosen’t need to try to be hidden now.

Despite not having seen each other in a while, some habits come back fast, and here goes holding hands again.

Right at the bus station, after she ran out to hug him tightly, they walked hand in hand as if 5 years didn’t stand between them.

-Cerise is scared of heights to the point she doesn’t go on the balcony but still hops on the Ferris to have a moment with derek.

-Early bird vs needs 30 min to wake up.

Derek is all « rise and shine, wake up sleepy head the earth says hello :D » type of person. He had time to go to the gym, go grocery shopping, take a shower, and make breakfast, Cerise woke up 10 min ago and her brain was loading it’s function on the sofa, she needed 20 more minutes.

The first night they spend in the same bed Derek wakes up early as always and here goes the hardest morning he ever had: don’t wake up the orange cat sharing your bed.

-They both have different dinner to go with each other which mean they are both in the kitchen at the same and it offers some sweet moments.

-lazy game nights where they just replay games they used to play when they were 13.

-Idk if you see the Reddit post about a guy leveling up his gf catching ability by tossing her random stuff constantly, derek would do that

-They celebrate the small victory of figuring out their life. Did your portfolio get accepted? Going out eating with the family.

-The ultimate siblings reunion- Liz takes her role as the oldest very seriously

[spearxwind]

as someone who. does not keep up with games pre-release, like, at all. what was below zero like before it was changed? i don't think i even heard about BZ until after it was released which is shocking considering how obsessed i am with the first game lmao

God so. It was actually pretty dang different. Jacksepticeye has a playlist where he played through the early access below zero builds. If you were unsatisfied with below zero (as i very much was), I greatly recommend looking up the playthroughs and checking them out cause the whole arc is sooo much better than what we ended up getting

for starters, robin's sister sam wasnt dead. Robin and her spoke to each other, as her sister was on a space station orbiting 4546B, and the main plot was about thwarting alterras meddling with the planet and keep the precursors and their tech from their knowledge, with robin as an actor on the surface doing stuff, and robins sister on the satellite using her admin job to keep alterra off of robins back. it was actually a pretty dope setup!

Another major difference is what pushed robin into the ocean, which was a huge avalanche destroying the base she was in. As in, robin was ACTUALLY stationed in the frozen zone working, when an avalanche destroys her base and forces her to go into the water to survive.

All of this was changed in the final cut to remove sam from the plot and having robin instead just crash land on 4546B to try to find her.

I think they also changed Maida's purpose a LOT because she was hinted at being more useful and it feels like, if the whole 'keeping alterra off your back' arc had remained, she would have had much more to do with it than she ended up having in the final cut. which was bossing you around to fetch a single thing and then not being relevant again

It just really feels like something went wrong and the story of the game is half baked at MOST (not to mention the design of the map but that's for another rant...) because like... when robin gets al-an in her head she is just so adamant on removing her and then SHE STAYS THAT WAY basically the whole game? al-an is nothing but a sweetheart to her and shes so fucking mean to him all the time i actually just didnt get it while i was playing. its so unnecessary, constantly cuts him off, shuts him up, etc etc. pretty much all the way until the end.

and then suddenly for the ending cutscene they are practically in love with zero warning. shes like oh my god i would follow you anywhere i would go anywhere with you. Bestie you hated his guts the whole 10 hour runtime of game what are you talking about................

It genuinely feels like something went wrong for sure.

And like, the alpha game pre-release was practically done!! The last major update they did to the early access was up until you create the body for al-an, which is literally the second to last thing you do for the story. You give him a body, and then immediately after that you can trigger the ending scene (at least in the final release, they might have had more planned after that in the original writing bu we will never know)

Which just made it so insanely jarring when you played the final release, which released over a year after that (i think), and the whole story arc was just. Gone. Replaced with what we got. I might be insane and the story got more and more replaced as early access went on, I am just going off of my memories of watching Jack's playthrough so take what I say with a grain of salt in terms of timeline accuracy, but the game was definitely changed beyond recognition from early access to final release as it went a complete and total rewrite more than halfway into production when they let go of their lead writer

[echoweaver]

Chantrelle has been absolutely miserably sick with the flu this time. My Symptoms mod has been working out even better than I expected. I played a couple of bouts of cold/flu in my medieval game, but the medieval life isn't scheduled like modern life. It's rough, and they get less done, but they don't get kicked out of the house to the school bus at a specific time on poor sleep.

Prism Art Cooperative meets on Monday and Wednesday after school, and that's today. The Social Clubs mod is quite firm about this. Her energy bar is in the red, and I tried to just send her home, but the club sent her back to the studio.

She tries to prop herself up on coffee, but she's coughing so much she never completes the action.

Finally, I just send the poor child to nap on the sofa.

Other club members showed up and did both painting and sculpting, but Chantrelle never saw them.

One thing I notice from this social club though -- it's not social. Sims can't socialize while making art.

This venue has a lovely room with art easels in a circle, which conjures up some lively social scenes. I also added multiple sculpting stations to a room, which is where Chantrelle does her art. I'd like to tune paint and sculpt interactions to allow sims doing these things close together to talk to each other. Fishing is like this. I know almost nothing about ITUN modding. Does anyone know how I might do this?

Commentary on the Symptoms mod:

Unfortunately, there does seem to be an issue here -- Chantrelle headed off to school on the bus multiple days, and then I discovered in the afternoon she had actually skipped school and was idling around on the lot. She definitely didn't enter the school rabbithole at all because her homework was still 100%. I THINK what is going on is that a cough/sneeze action is getting queued up while she's on the bus, and then when it executes her action to go to the rabbithole is getting dropped. I'm not sure what I might be able to do with the mod to fix this. Maybe this should just serve as a warning to other users of that mod.

I can detect when a sim is in a vehicle. I could possibly just suppress symptoms that trigger while in transit. That would give a Germy sim a better chance of getting into a rabbithole before triggering another symptom.

I guess I've read that while she can't call in sick, she CAN just refuse to get on the bus and stay home sick, and the game will recognize that's what she's doing. I haven't tried this. It does seem like one shouldn't be spreading these nasty germs around. Clearly, if she gets on the bus but doesn't enter the school, she will NOT get credit for staying home sick.

The big effect of this is that her school performance is now terrible, and it shouldn't be, and if she can't fix it by the time she ages up, I might just cheat it.

[dannystheone]

helloo!! i see you’re into south park! could i request a drabble for a tickle fight between kyle and cartman? i think the duo would be really interesting since they both are very strong headed and wont back down from a challenge. i love your blog so much :) have an amazing day!

(also feel free to ignore this if you dont want to!!)

Thank you for your kind words! Y'all are so sweet lol :') Sorry this took a second longer to get out to you, we love six-day working weeks over here. But this pairing is funny to me I love Cartman annoying Kyle I think it's hilarious

This is not a ship fic! I hope you enjoy!

WARNINGS: KIDS SWEARING

Cartman vs. Kyle (Lee Cartman/Kyle Ler Cartman/Kyle)

Cartman and Kyle both want to play with the same toy at the same time. The obvious solution to this is to fight to the death!

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Kyle had invited the guys over to his house to play trucks. Kenny and Stan brought their own trucks, as well as Cartman. The group had fun, rescuing princesses with the help of their bulldozers and GT Cruisers.

The boys played well into the afternoon, with Kyle's mom catering lunch for them. But eventually, Stan and Kenny had to return to their homes, leaving Kyle and Cartman behind to play with each other.

"Rrrrrhhhmmm... rumble rumble rumble, oh no, I need more gas! I'm going to the gas station, Detective Silver!" Kyle called out. Kyle rolled his Purple McLaren to the 'gas station', which was an empty space inhabited by a Lego man standing behind a Lego brick.

"Khhh- Dr. Jew you're really breaking my balls here. I repeat you are breaking my balls." Cartman pretended to speak into a radio as he bulldozed some trucks out of his path on the carpet.

"Cartman! I told you my name was General Rogard!" Kyle looked up from the 'gas station' while Cartman mashed trucks together.

"Oh I'm sorry General, turns out our intelligence tells us you're a money-grabbing Jew who can't be trusted to steal the Document of Truth! We'll have to intercept your mission, right about nyah." Cartman reached for a police cruiser while Kyle reached out for the same toy.

"Fine, intercept me! I have the Chief of Police to back me up!" Kyle and Cartman's hands touched as they pulled for the same toy.

"Cartman give me the car!" Kyle was laying on his belly, his legs waving in the air. Cartman was sitting upright, so he had a better grip on the car.

"Myeh- myeeeeh- let go, Kyle! The police have to intercept you cause you're a no-good stinking Jeeewww!~" Cartman pulled the car away from Kyle's hand, to which Kyle stood up and tried to steal it back.

"Cartman, it's my car! It's mine! Give it back!" Kyle tried to reach into Cartman's hands to take it, but Cartman shielded the car with his back.

"Nuh uuuhhh Kyle! I need the car to intercept youuu!" Kyle growled and punched Cartman's back, which was like punching a sack of rice.

"Give it back fatass! It's my toy!" Kyle's fists curled tightly as he grew increasingly frustrated. Cartman stood up off the floor and hid the toy behind his back.

"I'm afraid there's only one solution to this, Kyle. We both want the cruiser, that much is apparent. Perchance, I give you this solution-" Kyle crossed his arms angrily and shot Cartman a venomous look.

"You can't just use 'perchance' in any sentence you want, dumbass-" Cartman reached forward and shushed Kyle's lips. Kyle swat his hand away.

"-We fight. To the death. Winner takes the police cruiser, and bragging rights at the bus stop." Kyle glowered at Cartman.

"That sounds retarded. Just give me back the toy, it's mine anyway." Kyle held out his hand for the toy, while Cartman placed the car on a high shelf instead.

"We'll have to battle it out, Kyle. There's no other solution."

"There's plenty of other-! ...Fine, Cartman. We battle it out, and I kick your ass. And you'll go to school tomorrow with bruises and a busted lip, all because you didn't want to give me back my damn cruiser!" Cartman wagged his finger underneath his green mitten.

"Ohoho, don't be so eager, Kyle. We all know I'm more than meets the eye." Kyle scoffed at that.

"And I thought your ass couldn't get any bigger. Alright, let's begin then." The boys pushed the toys out of the way and centered themselves in the middle of the carpet.

"You're gonna get your ass beat, Cartman." Both boys started shucking off their gloves.

"We'll have to see about that, Kyle." Cartman was acting weirdly calm about their fight. It did phase Kyle a little; he'd have to be on his guard.

Kyle took the first step and swung at Cartman. His fist connected to Cartman's chin, making Cartman's head jolt back. Kyle swung another fist toward Cartman, but Cartman grabbed his elbow.

"Ugh! Let go of me lard-ass! I'm getting that car back!" Kyle bucked and struggled against Cartman, who, seemingly out of nowhere, got the upper hand.

"Shut up Kyle! The police are intercepting you and that's final!" Cartman wrestled Kyle to the floor, Kyle gritting his teeth and kneeling on the carpet.

"Get the hell off me Cartman!" Kyle groaned as Cartman overpowered him with his oppressive weight. Cartman had Kyle's arms held behind his back, both his wrists in one fat grip.

"Oh, not so confident now are you Kyle? Well, let's see what happens when I show 'General Rogard' the ace up my sleeve!" Cartman snuck a hand over Kyle's trapped arm and started squishing in his side.

"Wh- Cahahartman! Stohohop!" Kyle tried to wrestle away from Cartman, frantic now, but they only sunk closer to the floor.

"Oh, what happened to my black eye Kyle? My busted lip? I'm not seeing it anywhere Kyle?" Kyle tried to hold in his laughter, he'll be damned if Cartman won, but the further they sunk to the floor the more agency Cartman had over squeezing Kyle's side.

"Thahahat's cheheheheating!! Yohohou're plahahaying dirty!" Kyle spat; trying to get any purchase on the carpet despite being brought to his knees.

"No cheating if we didn't set up any rules, Kyle! Oh the sweet victory of defeating Kyle, I can see it now..." Cartman's voice turned wistful as he released Kyle's wrists just to squeeze both his hands into Kyle's sides.

Kyle squealed a manly sound as he fell completely to the floor, his front sliding on the carpet. Cartman kneeled close to Kyle and tazed his fingers into Kyle's sides. Kyle's eyes narrowed in his laughter.

"Looks like I'm going to win this battle, Kyle. That's what happens when you don't respect my authori-tah." Kyle forced his elbow up and behind him in a jerking motion, his elbow connecting to Cartman's chest.

Cartman backed off of Kyle and held the sore spot that was elbowed. "Myeeeh- Myeeeh Kyle- I was supposed to wiiin-" Kyle picked himself off the floor and all but launched himself at Cartman.

"RAAAH!-" Kyle let out a battle cry and shoved his hands into Cartman's sides; wriggling his fingers non-too-gently into Cartman's skin.

Laughter started bubbling up in Cartman's chest as he tried to fight back Kyle's hands. "Y-Yohou wohon't gehehet me thahat easy, Kyle!" Kyle had a disgusted face on as his fingers disappeared into Cartman's sides.

"Eugh- it's like playing in warm jello. And the jello is wearing clothes. And the jello is a fatass-" Despite Kyle's insults, Kyle's words seemed to make Cartman laugh harder. Cartman gripped Kyle's wrists and tried to wrench Kyle's arms away, but Kyle's fingers latched themselves in his ribs.

"Shuhuhut uhuhuhup Kyle! Gehehehet ohohohoff of myah!" Kyle grimaced at his friend choking out his laughs. Kyle had no interest in seeing Cartman tickled (he'd much prefer Stan and Kenny over this racist piece of-) but it was good to see Cartman get a taste of his medicine.

"No! You're gonna give me back that fucking car, Cartman!" Kyle knelt on Cartman's thigh to get closer and shot his hands up into Cartman's armpits to wriggle his fingers in there. Cartman snorted and narrowed his eyes in his booming laughs.

"Nohohoho! Thahahahat's my cahahar!" Cartman growled and forced his way forward, barreling his way through Kyle's hands and latching his own fingers into Kyle's waist. He began to squeeze violently.

"Pfft-ahahahaha! Owhohohow Cartman! Thahat hurhurts!!" Kyle had a pained laugh as he retreated and giggled loudly. Cartman dug in further, his thumbs driving into Kyle's hips just above his jeans.

"Then give up the car, Kyle! You greedy Jew!" Cartman squeezed his thumbs into Kyle's hip divets repeatedly; Kyle curling up on the floor and belting out hiccupy laughter.

"I- I'm nahahat greedy!! *Hic!* Yohohou fahahat ahahahass! *Hic!*" Kyle reached upwards and gripped Cartman's side, and wriggled his fingers in them.

Cartman's fingers died off on Kyle's hips, but forced them to stay latched to the divets. "Kyhyhyhyle! Yohohohou get ohohohoff of myah!" The boys began actual tickle fighting at that point; with Kyle wrestling back Cartman's arms and driving his hand into Cartman's armpit, and Cartman attempting to squeeze Kyle's arm into his side to still his fingers and squish Kyle's hips.

"Nohohoho! *Hic!* Yohohohou gehehehet ohohohoff of mehehehe!" Kyle snickered and jolted with every zap that was delivered to his hips. Cartman laughed above Kyle, his armpit getting assaulted by Kyle's fingers.

"Kyhyhyhyle! I'm seriously!" Cartman growled and delivered rapid-fire pokes to Kyle's tummy. Kyle's arms hung limp by his side as he cackled out, his legs kicking out at random.

"CARTMAN!! Stohohohohop!" Kyle tried bringing his knee up to save himself, but Cartman squished Kyle's knee enough to force it back down.

"Looks like you've been properly intercepted, Kyle- AYE!" Kyle wrestled Cartman's hands off of his stomach and forced his hands into Cartman's ribs. Or, where he assumed Cartman's ribs were. Kyle winced as he all but shook his fingers into Cartman's ribcage like he was choking them.

"That's my goddamn police cruiser, dough boy! And I'm getting it back-"

"Kyle? Cartman?" Kyle and Cartman looked up from their position on the floor, their eyes wide and unblinking. Stan stood in the doorway, a quizzical look on his face.

"Stan? What are you doing here?" Kyle asked, pushing Cartman away and rolling off the floor.

"Oh, I came back to get my police cruiser." Stan looked around Cartman's room before spotting it on a high shelf. "Oh, there it is." Stan walked over to grab the cruiser.

"W-Wait, your cruiser? That's my cruiser!" Kyle pointed to his chest.

"Nuh-uh, that's my policeman car!" Cartman pointed to the car Stan was holding.

"Oh, no I've had this car since Christmas. My mom bought me a whole set of them, but I lost them all. This is the only one I have left." Stan explained nonchalantly.

"My mom bought me that exact same set!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Hey, my mom bought me that too! Gentlemen, I'm afraid we have no other choice." Cartman folded his hands behind his back and looked out the bedroom window dramatically.

"We'll have to fight..."

"...to the death."

[pbandjesse]

We just got home from seeing a play. There is something I really like about experimental theater. I am really glad we went. But today was a really long day and I am very tired right now.

I was super super anxious about the field trip today. I was super concerned about the communication from the school and was still unsure if the parents would be coming at 9. I tried to remain positive but it was a struggle. I was legit not having a good time.

I also didn't sleep amazing because of that. I fell asleep pretty easily but I woke up a lot. And struggled to fall back asleep. And when I had to get up at 7 I was just. Not thrilled.

James was right there and gave me a good hug. It helped me feel slightly better.

I washed my face and got dressed and I am very glad I wore layers. Because it was cold today! Actually cold! And it would get colder throughout the day. I was very happy to have more things to put one, but the tights under my overalls was the best decision I made.

James walked out with me. They liked my outfit. Said I was back "on your Wes Anderson bullshit". Which made me laugh. And wished me luck. I did not have high hopes.

I did have a new podcast episode to listen to though. And that made the drive in nice, even if everyone was driving stupid today.

I got to camp right before 8. It was damp and cold. Even though it was all wet out we were still under a burn ban for a few more hours. So no bonfire today. That would be alright, though we all would have enjoyed the warmth.

I got my schedules printed out and collected my walkies. And checked all the stations. Got them set up. And went to the lodge.

Once I was set up there I had mostly calmed down and wasn't as miserable. I had brought some sewing with me and would work on closing 16 plushies throughout the day. Amazing. I felt so productive.

While I was sitting at the table working on closing a bunny, two parents came in! They were on time! And the majority of the parent volunteers would come on time!

They had a wild amount of parents. 24! Plus the 10 chaperones. So many people. I realized pretty quick it was because this was kindergarten and for a lot of them, it was their first kid, and their first field trip. Don't want to miss that experience for sure. Very sweet.

I gave the parents a small intro, and walked them to their sites. I split tools and dwellings, so 3 at each of them, but up to 6 at the other 3 stations. It took me almost exactly a half hour to my get them all settled. Sarah would run some extra schedules and an extra walkie over, which was greatly appreciated. And then I headed to the lodge.

The bus would come exactly on time! I met with the assistant principal and got the kids off the bus. I was very impressed with this group. Super punctal and good listeners.

We did my intro and got them into groups and I lead them to their sites. And we started exactly on schedule! Incredible.

Because everything was still wet I found a rock to sit on. And I would do a whole lot of sewing. I'm the groups were doing great and I didn't have to walk around to much. Which was nice because my body was feeling strange.

I would not describe it as feeling pregnant. I would honestly say I was not feeling pregnant. I was just feeling off. Odd. I think maybe possibly I was feeling more flutters inside. But I was also just very in my head. I feel stressed about everything. But man, is it hard to not know what's happening inside of my body. I can't wait to get my next ultrasound just to feel some amount of comfort.

Lunch would need to be extended. Which was fine, I had extra time in the schedule. And it benefited me because they ordered pizza! And brought pumpkin pie!! They ordered a lot of extra pizza to do I got plenty, sitting on the counter in the kitchen. And got to bring a full box to the office to share with Alexi, Heather, Sarah, and Elizabeth.

I hung out in the kitchen and pushed the schedule and once they were done eating we walked them all to their stations and got back to sewing.

I finished the 16 plushies and got 2 new ones worked on. I didn't do any more because by then my fingers were frozen. It was starting to rain just a bit. And I would walk back to my car to get my coat and put my sewing away.

I went and waited for the last part of the program and once all the kids were back and I had communicated with my station leaders about clean up, it was basically time to go!!

I gave a little goodbye, we did the quiz, which I realize I need to change slightly. But it's all good. It was fun. It was a very good trip.

Once they were gone, Sarah would come over to help me breakdown the lodge. It took a while but it was nice chatting. She got a new car. And I have not been around much so it was nice to hear about life.

Once we were done cleaning I brought my stuff to the car, gave Sarah the pizza and the tote bag of walkie talkies to take to the office, and I drove around to make sure everything was packed how. No more field trips until March!

I hung out in the office for a little. Just checking in and chatting with Heather and Elizabeth. About baby and the holidays. I miss hanging out with them for sure.

But it was time for me to go. I was getting tired. It is hard being so cold and then being in the warm car. Very much makes me want to go to sleep. But I powered through. And got home, through the bad traffic, a little before 4.

I would change into my date night look and got in bed. I half wanted to sleep but we had reservations at 530. So no sleeping, just resting.

When James got back they would take a few minutes to catch their breath and change. At and 5 we headed downtown. Traffic was still very bad. But not a big deal.

Dinner was really good. I always love Brewers Art. And it was just nice talking and the food was good. We talked about fears, and the holidays. James ordered our Christmas tree and I'm excited to decorate next week, after Thanksgiving. We talked about traditions we want to be able to do with our baby. And how we can learn and grow and do good by her based on our we were raised. I feel really lucky to have a partner that I feel on the same page with.

During dinner we realized that the play we were going to started at 8 and not 7. So we had some time to waste. We got creme brulee. It would have been better if the whole thing was warm and not just the top, but it was still nice.

We went for a little walk. Went and checked out the new farmers market I'm going to be doing on the 5th. Ran into the olive oil man from the monkton music festival from earlier this year! It was so nice to see him and talk shop. I also got to meet the market manager, Joe. I am glad I got eyes on the space, and that there is a security guard. Though James will probably still come through to check on me since it'll be dark.

We walked to the theater and would just chat with the director Chris and hung out on the couch for an hour. Ann and Tucker came. And Parker and Lily from creative alliance were there too! It was nice chatting and I was in a good mood.

It was a sad show. Sort of. It was a show with the main character, Aunt Sonia, was a puppet. A life sized puppet. It was a little scary but also super impressive. Sonia was choosing to die, euthanasia. And how the family dealt with those emotions. It was truly a beautiful story. With someone just tried making a choice. And like the reminder that in this type of situation, the sadness would still be there, but the gift of getting to say goodbye on your terms is powerful.

I enjoyed the show a lot. And it was nice that it was only an hour. I was aching a bit. I was glad to get out of the theater seat.

We chatted in the lobby for a little. But soon there were hugs all around and we were going home.

We got to the car and I was moaning about about not feeling amazing. I had been crunched up and now I was stretched out and was not comfortable. I was really glad we were going home.

We were able to get a good parking space. And I was just really happy to be home.

We would hug on Sweetp. And turn all the lights off. I got a quick shower. And we are winding down now. I am really tired. Physically and mentally. I am very glad I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow.

It may snow a little tomorrow. I would love to see some flurries. And finish some more plushies. I hope it's a restful day.

I hope you all sleep well tonight. Take care of eachother. Good night!