#I already know ppl hate me
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(Depressing rant, I mention Twitter drama and DR3 hate)
Y’all lucky I found that fuyuhiko post I just reblogged bc lord I was spiraling.
Twitter been making it real tough being in the DR fandom. I was thinking about leaving TBH.
I already cant go in the Fuyuhiko tag on tumblr without finding someone who hates me for shipping incest (I’m talking about kuzu/peko, it’s not btw)
Every Peko stan I find hates me. The ones on Twitter thinks I endorse child grooming and the ones on Reddit thinks I’m homophobic
I expressed on Twitter that reading too many “Butch Lesbian Fuyuhiko is the only correct interpretation” gives me gender dysphoria. I’m a transmasc enby who was forced to go to an all girl school. So it’s tough reading about a character I relate to heavily is only likable as a girl. Somehow that turned a lot of kuzu/peko shippers on Twitter against me. I saw some of them make fun of me but I thought that was fair to a certain extent. I’m a biromantic asexual, not being gay enough for the LGBTQA community shouldn’t be new to me.
Last week was just really bad bc I said I didn’t like Chisa. I admitted it was for petty reasons and I only saw two episodes of despair arc. This was in 2017, it was too confusing to watch DR3 without SDR2 knowledge and the anime wasn’t newcomer friendly. Then a popular dr3 account made fun of me and their followers dog piled me. I went down a rabbit hole of trying to block everyone harrsssing me but then I kept finding people who were calling me retarded and slurs. Then I found ppl screenshotting my old tweets just to make fun of me and kuzu/peko.
It’s not fun watching people make fun of your race, sexuality, age, interests, all because I said “DR3 isn’t newcomer friendly”. None of them even disagreed with me, they just called me stupid for not thinking I needed to watch SDR2 before watching “The End of HPA”.
I’m just glad I have nice people like Cosmo, Twinkle, and Neuro who makes me feel like I’m not just a complete blight in this fandom
And reading that Fuyuhiko post made me realize that I don’t do anything in this fandom for validation. I really should accept i can’t please everyone and to doesn’t matter if the whole fandom hates me.
In closing, I’m not gonna acknowledge DR3 on this blog for a while. But I’m not leaving anytime soon. My opinion is never meant to hurt anyone. When I say “block me if you don’t like my content”, this is not saying I don’t respect your opinion. I’m saying “block me because I can’t take another person hate following me just to make fun of me”
#sorry for dragging Twitter drama here#I just need ppl know#I already know ppl hate me#so just cool it already#but if I say that on Twitter#those assholes are just#gonna make fun of me again
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‘the black bastard of the wall’ moniker is the exact opposite of the ‘white wolf’ moniker and this perfectly highlights the irreconcilable differences between book Jon and show Jon
#‘white wolf’ highlights his stark heritage parallels him to robb and tries to align him with perfect moral goodness#‘the black bastard of the wall’ is only about jon. it has nothing to do with his stark heritage nor ghost. it’s only about jon#it’s literally white vs black#stark/winterfell/moral goodness vs bastard (targaryen bastard to be specific)/the wall/moral greyness and the duality of it all#he’s already a snow and he’s surrounded by white up north with a white direwolf so being the black bastard and dressing all in black#is perfect imagery of the duality theme in jon’s storyline#d&d rly wanted their jon to always stand in robb’s shadow 🙄#while book jon has an international reputation while still stuck at the wall#my boy is stuck in westerosi alaska and he’s got ppl across the sea yapping about him for pastime#that’s fame baby#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#GOT critical#jon snow#book jon snow#and i wanna know what other monikers george plans to give jon#while i wouldn’t be that suprised if the ‘white wolf’ did come from george it’s the way it’s jon’s only moniker in GOT that pisses me off#‘the black bastard of the wall’ supremacy#the white wolf seems kinda lame in comparison but say jon gets it if his hair turns white like some theorize#if that happens then i’ll like it more cause it’ll be about jon!#like… the young wolf is about robb. not grey wind. the starks are compared to wolves and robb is a young king and he just so happens to have#a direwolf. in the show jon’s ‘white wolf’ moniker is honestly more about ghost than jon! and that’s ughhh#but robb had the wolf moniker first so it feels once again like the showrunners were placing jon in robb’s shadow#UGHHH I HATE THE SHOW AND HOW IT RUINED THE WAY SO MANY PPL VIEW THE CHARACTERS#let jon be the black bastard !!#his color was always black and the wall is his !!#put some respect on his name and his badass moniker#i don’t want to see anymore shit about the white wolf cause that’s only d&d’s shit invention at this point#valyrianscrolls
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thinking about kab and the thing about her i think is she knows just enough to keep herself safe Generally but not enough to really predict what would happen should something more... complicated??? unforeseen??? idk whats the right word to use but something not covered by someones reputation and/or vids happen, believe it or not this also affects her view of clownpierce (we'll get to that)
for example, mapicc has a reputation for being an violent, angry, & impulsive guy and nothing else which makes sense but is incredibly surface level and something that only really works if you dont have a lot of experience working with him
another is reddoons, his betrayal after the base incident while shocking is not unforeseen but his reputation as being a guy whos seen as being a reasonable person whos fairly loyal to his team made it seem like something he wouldnt do even tho it absolutely is
regarding how it affects her view of clown, since he isnt perfectly aligned with his reputation she instead pivots in the complete opposite direction and forgiving basically every crime he does even tho hes something much more mild and complicated than either his reputation or her view of him will ever be (think madonna-whore complex which is especially obvious when it comes to kabs vs woogies view of him)
another side effect of this Just Enough amount of knowledge aside from being blinded by her own expectations is that it frustrates ppl who think shes oversimplificating things (like me and seemingly several other tumblr users as well) especially when she claims that shes objectively correct and the smartest in the room at any given moment
how this roughness in her analysis affects her in the server still has yet to be fully seen but we do still have at least a couple months until the end but 'til then shes just gonna keep stumbling as more and more complicated situations pop up as is typical in lifesteal to happen and eventually shes gonna have to learn to adapt or else she'll be suffering the consequences one way or another
#mine.txt#analysis#ig. this is very rough tho and is more just thoughts than anything#but i wanted a tag so i can get back to this later to see how right or wrong i am#another thing that affects this is the cc/c divide which is something she likes to take control of#one of the ways it manifests is that she likes to go in and out of it frequently which can be incredibly distracting#esp if youre someone like me who wants the lsers to just. be themselves and get immersed in whats happening around them#and it doesnt help that her and her character can have Very different feelings on a situation#basically the cc/c divide or at least how kab likes to use it affects the way she acts because shes got an idea in her head already#of what to think of the other ppl in the server which makes her inflexible when unexpected things come up#as opposed to when shes just being herself reacting to things#which is unfortunate but i think reflects on how outsiders vs insiders view lifesteal#the reality vs expectations of the audience are so incredibly different esp if you only watch the vids#so much so that while watching kabs vid my initial reaction was that she wasnt as big a ls fan as i originally thought#then realized no this seems like the exact sort of thing id expect from someone whos only seen the vids; particularly of the pvpers#(specified pvpers cause only watching the pvpers vs other kinds of players on the server are Very different experiences)#tho the thing about kab is she Does have insider knowledge!#.... mainly from ppl who dont log on a lot (ash and clown and maybe squiddo)#so naturally thats gonna give her a biased view of how the server works one way or another#the exception to this would be zam telling her about eclipse federation but i think either she doesnt know or severely underestimated#just how much lying; manipulation; keeping secrets; and yap sessions built on incompatible motives and morals happened#that made s4 the way it is not only in game but outside of it as well#''we're at our best when we hate each other irl'' - reddoons according to zam
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“Homura callously destroys everything and everyone else because she's selfish and she only loves madoka” right that's why, when she rewrote the entire universe, she not only made it to where Madoka would be surrounded by her friends and her family, but she also gave Sayaka a second chance with not only Kyoko, but with Hitomi and Kyoske as well. That's why she gave Nagisa and Mami a life together. Because she's callous and selfish and she doesn't care about anyone but Madoka. That's why she took on the brunt of immortality for Madoka to be human again, even if it's temporary, choosing to suffer alone whilst everyone else has a second chance at a life. Go fuck yourself. I'm so tired of seeing ppl minimize Homura's love for Madoka and her friends by writing off her actions as “oh she's just a selfish evil edgelord who destroys everything and everyone who isn't madoka bc she doesn't care about anything else bc selfishness vs selflessness themes!!” like you do know that you can point out Homura's selfishness and Madoka's selflessness without blatantly lying and trying to rewrite canon to fit your narrative, right?
#pmmm#puella magi madoka magica#mahou shoujo madoka magica#puella magi madoka magica rebellion#homura akemi#madoka kaname#muting notifications to this bc i already know ppl who either want homura to be evil to justified their hatred for her#because they can't admit they still don't understand why homura did what she did in rebellion after 10 years#or those who want her to be evil and toxic bc they think that makes her a girlboss are gonna foam at the mouth either way#yes homura acted selfishly but not in the way everyone claims she did y'all are just twisting her actions to fit your narrative#it's 2023 just say you hate her and move tf on bc i am NOT going into Walpurgisnacht Rising with ppl in my ear telling me#how awful homura is and how she's a terrible person#homura did nothing wrong
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Me: I joke about writing the same McCoy centric story over and over again in different ways
Me: and like. I love doing it and imma keep doing it because it makes me happy.
Me: but also. I do sometimes wonder if it's like. A little Much.
Me: like maybe I should branch out or something
Me: [reads another fundamental and extremely insulting misread of McCoy's character by someone who is clearly making a Choice to cast McCoy as the villain, because they have to get him out of the way of spirk, because they're too???? idk immature??? to realize that even when you're in a relationship with one person, other ppl can and SHOULD still be important to you]
Me: lmao I hope I AM too much actually!!!! I hope it is 100% obnoxious how much I love that doctor!!!!! Time to write more versions of the same story of McCoy being forced to realize that he is loved and cared for!!!!!!
Me: I KNOW MY NICHE AND IMMA DIE IN THAT NICHE, THANKS
#mine#not putting this in the mcc*y/tr*k tags bc i am venting not trying to start 💾🐎 [discourse]#but woof. WOOF. i want you to know that if you hate the doc then sp*ck and k*rk would hate YOU#like seeing someone say they're sp*ck or jim coded and then say flagrantly absurd things about mcc*y.......u are garbage coded actually.#sp*ck and k*rk would literally never#i will never understand how so many ppl can ship mcc*y’s besties and then???? hate on mcc*y?????????#i block LIBERALLY so i have a lot of b*nes haters blocked already tbf#i just stumble across one in the wild sometimes alas#that mindset btw is how that counseling fic came about lmao - we were talking about how if sp*rk dated they'd still drag mcc*y EVERYWHERE#romantic or platonic he is THEIRS just like they're HIS. it's a triumvir*te my guy#any two of them hook up they're still making the third stay at their side 24/7 lolllllll#how can you claim to love sp*ck and k*rk and so fundamentally misunderstand them and their relationship with b*nes#genuinely tragique#you are missing out on so much fun#we are not watching the same show lmao <3 leave my doctor alone <3 leave his bfs alone too <3#me: i should let things go / sp*ck: have you instead considered being a petty bitch / me: what / sp*ck: they can get fucked and die mad 🖖#me: ur so right sp*ck / sp*ck: i usually am#guess who literally just found out that if the word is contained w/in a longer tag it now shows up if you search that word!!!!!#that change very well may not be recent but i just found out!!!! anyway. asterisks added.#i give up. tumblr keeps putting this in the fucjing tags. hellsite (full of hatred)#eta: didn't think to make this non-rebloggable earlier but now it is lmao. it's just a vent post y'all <3
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i will never understand how or why the httyd movies did the books such an injustice.
the movies aren't even an adaptation - they stole the name of the series, the name of some of the characters and places, and the general idea that there are dragons. honestly, i would be fine with the movies and maybe even like them if they didn't capitalize off of cressida cowell's incredible books that never get any credit.
the books are an amazing story about the cycle of violence and how vengeance and revenge is dangerous. hiccup says that the past is a ghost story, one we need to learn from to better ourselves. the books are about how everyone deserves freedom, how every creature, every being on the earth deserves to be free. we see that in the slavemark, with the dragons.
and like... hiccup is so different. they did him a severe injustice. he's scrawny and intelligent and learned to talk to dragons simply by observing them! he chooses kindness first above all else; instead of yelling at toothless to train him, he is kind. and in the end, that kindness is why toothless chose to save him. bc even toothless himself says that dragons are inherently selfish creatures who care only for their survival. hiccup is brave - his beliefs differ drastically from both the vikings and the world.
hiccup is a child who chose to do the right thing even at the expense of himself. he agreed to free the slaves on nobert's ship, and in return, they gave him the slavemark which is easy to give but cannot be removed. he was like twelve. and having the slavemark means he cannot be with his tribe or his family, it means he isn't considered a human being anymore. and he keeps it a secret for awhile until it's revealed and when it is everyone turns their backs on hiccup. his family, his tribe, his mentor, people he TRUSTED. everyone except fishlegs, and, once she got over the shock, camicazi. he was thirteen. and even when he lost his memories and was really injured, he persisted. he was told to go to tomorrow and to save the dragons and he did bc in his heart he knew it was right even though he didn't know who he was or how he got there.
and fishlegs,,, oh my god FISHLEGS!!! the did him SO DIRTY!!! fishlegs is hiccup's best friend, one of the main motivators for hiccup. he steals norbert's potato for the sake of fishlegs, he gives fishlegs his dragon and goes to retrieve another, he takes the blame for fishlegs. and fishlegs does the same for him. he takes the slavemark with pride. he refuses to turn. he gives hiccup his lobster claw necklace which is his most prized possession. he is brave for hiccup, he believes hiccup is alive. he fights for hiccup harder than anyone else ever has. he does not turn. his is loyal, has allergies, has asthma, has a squint and a limp, has glasses bc he's blind without them... and he's still a hero despite being a runt, despite everyone even the adults telling him he's hopeless, telling hiccup to leave him behind.
and they cut camicazi! i'm sorry, but astr*d is nothing compared to camicazi. camicazi is a tiny, feral child who can easily best hiccup, fishlegs, and pretty much anyone in a sword fight. she can bring a grown man to tears with her rudery and smack talk. she is recklessly brave and craves adventure and follows hiccup blindly bc she trusts him that much. she isn't in love with hiccup - in fact she doesn't care about romance and love. she gives up everything to help hiccup bc she has a strong sense of justice. she is the motivator, the cheerleader, she finds a positive in everything. she never gives up. literally never gives up. and that's one of the most inspiring things about her: she always has hope.
and toothless! god!!! toothless is *thought to be* a common or garden dragon. he is horrifically tiny, he is literally toothless, and is the biggest brat in the world. he will cause problems on purpose. he has a stutter, he's the most selfless selfish dragon around. he and hiccup can talk to each other. he masks his fear with singing and being annoying. his growth is remarkable. he starts off refusing to obey hiccup, doing the opposite of what he says, making life harder for literally everyone around him, and he's still somewhat like that. but he's also braver, more caring, more willing to make sacrifices for the sake of others. he's clever, which he needs to be to make up for his size and aggression. he protects hiccup with everything he has, therefore, he protects what hiccup cares about just as hard. he was the only dragon that didn't abandon the vikings in the first book bc he cared about hiccup.
and snotlout,,, god,,, i will never forgive the movies for butchering snotlout. hiccup's cousin, the bully character, the one who is horrifically jealous that hiccup's dad was born before his. the one who desperately wants to prove himself, to be worthy, to make people proud. and you hate him, you despise him. he betrays everyone many times bc of the nothing promised to him by alvin and his mom. he loses himself, turns his back on himself, all bc he wants to prove himself. all bc he wants to be better than hiccup. and hiccup still forgives him and gives him chances, sometimes out of pity, but also bc snotlout is his cousin. he can't just turn his back on him no matter how miserable snotlout made his life. and in the end, snotlout sacrifices himself for hiccup. he gives up his life for hiccup in one last attempt to set things right. his death and the events preceding it are one of my absolute favorite moments in the book. gives me chills. makes me cry.
that's the thing with the books - they're so realistic. there is no inherently happy ending where everything works out. the first book begins with "there were dragons when i was a boy", implying that they're gone now. the books show there are consequences to our actions. they enslaved the dragons, they fought against them during the dragon rebellion all bc alvin and his mom said to, and now they're gone bc a simple apology doesn't fix hundreds of years of enslavement. and the only way for the world to move forward was for the dragons to leave and heal on their own. and now they have to learn to live without them. and yeah i've heard the third movie ends like that but. it doesn't have the build up. it doesn't have "there were dragons when i was a boy". it doesn't have eleven books of development to back it up, to make it feel meaningful.
i know that the movies are really special to a lot of people. i know that, on their own, they're genuinely good movies. i can acknowledge that the soundtrack is amazing and the animation is beautiful. i just can't see past the way they butchered the world that i love, the world that i grew up with. i can't see past the way people yelled at me for saying i liked the books better, the way that people gave me weird looks when i showed them a picture of the original toothless, when i tell them that nightfuries aren't even a type of dragon. cressida cowell created hundreds of different dragons, and the movies couldn't even pick from that. i can't forgive the way that barely anyone knows there are books bc the movie barely gives credit to them. i cannot forgive the way they capitalized off the books and then shoved them aside. i know cressida thinks they're good movies and i know a lot of httyd book fans also like them. but i just... i cannot get over how much they changed and how they missed so much and ignored the books. also they got rid of camicazi so hiccup could have a love interest and that is unforgivable to me.
if you disagree, that is a-okay. we're all entitled to our own opinions. i just ask that you, perhaps, try the books out. give them a chance. bc they're amazing works of art and also just like. don't yell at people who don't like the movies? whether it's bc they prefer the books or just aren't into that kind of movie. and just remember that dreamworks didn't come up with the story; cressida cowell did.
#corey talks:)#this has been in my drafts forever but i saw something that made me have feelings and so i finished it and here take this iuygfcvghuij#i justgod the books are SO GOOD and barely anyone knows theyexist#and i think that's what makes me the kost upset#or some [people chose to ignore they exist or don't give them a chance bc... i don't even know why. ppl are just so quick to dismiss them#the books are so important to me (literally got a httyd book tattoo) and i get most book fans also like the movies#but it sucks bc i can't go through the httyd tag without being bombarded with movie stuff#i'll even look up 'httyd books' and half of it is still about the movies.#i'll look up snotface snotlout and only finds movie stuff even tho ig they changed his last name in the movies???#i'll look up camicazi and find it filled with astr*d. WHAT.#i'll look u toothless and only see the freaking nightfury. not the original.#like god movie enjoyers at least tag correctly. i get you want ppl to see your posts but the more i see movie stuff in the book tag the mor#i hate the movies lol like the movies are so much more popular than the books let us have our tags okay#sorry if any of this sounds bitter also i hope it doesn't sound like i want to argue or fight#this is just my opinion and i have feelings and i just want ppl to know there are books#also i am not shaming anyone who likes the movies like i already said you do you boo just don't come at me for doing me#bc yes that has happened to me multiple times :) which is one reason why i get so upset :)#i just personally cannot separate the two. i know some ppl can and i'm glad! but i can't and that's okay too#httyd#httyd books
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my last time speaking on this bc I’m back to my smut and stupid shit afterwards (cause yk this is my safe space 🤪😜🫶🏾👍🏾) , but I’m genuinely scared, not just for this presidency but my local leadership too. Hence why I always make such an emphasis on it. I live in a small town and it’s very much class/racially divided. The sheriff (a white woman btw but a woman nonetheless) has been actively trying to harass and run everyone from my side of town. She pretty much wrote off this area as a bunch of drug addicts and says ‘she hopes we all just kill each other’. (My family has never done, sold or even been around drugs and yet her dumbass cops are convinced bc we’re black with nice vehicles, that we must sell). She’s also pushing for the gentrification of our area so all of her rich cohorts can come and tear down our houses and build a suburbia. Just the other day, a cop made me move my vehicle from in front of a store I park at all the time bc im disabled and even the closest parking spot is far on this leg and he did it just to be an asshole. I can’t even cry abt this presidency yet bc I’m now worried that my local leaders are going to make our lives hell. Not to mention, they voted no on abortions and gender affirming care as well. I hate it here so fucking bad.
#🪷—faerie whispers#side note and lowkey unpopular opinion#but both sides reasoning were short sighted and vain#I saw someone say ‘ppl only voted for trump bc he’s a man and more economically popular’#and ykw for some people that eas just enough#there is a huge gap in our gen’s beliefs and ideas and our parents aunties grandparents etc#I hate to say this but our parents don’t gaf abt things like Palestine and lgbtq rights#they care about being able to retire earn money and pay their mortgages/rent#they don’t care abt the same things that we do and the dems underestimated that#I’d be a hypocrite if I said one was a better choice than the other bc the things that are important to me#they both stood against#so I can’t lesser of two evils my way out of it#not to mention the tone deafness of having millionaires and billionaires campaigning for you in a time where ppl cannot afford basic things#idk how I feel atp#i think each side voted for the wrong reasons and I cannot get over that#either way I already know this is going to be black ppl’s faults#we’re going to get the blame while simultaneously getting the short end of the stick#I really do not want to be alive anymore
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I’ve seen someone say that Sally was selfish and inconsiderate for telling Percy they need his room for Estelle???
#thoughts on this#?#personally#they got blocked#or actually they already pmo by being an annabeth anti this was the final straw#and it wasn’t just a passing comment they were full on saying Percy must’ve felt so excluded and depressed about it#but if I remember correctly he was overwhelmed with joy about the news of Sally’s pregnancy#he wasn’t upset about it right?#and I mean it is true they will need his room…#and he’s going to college#to have a future and eventually start a family with annabeth#I’m all for Percy angst but can we stop looking for it in places where it’s not there#and the subtle (not so subtle) Sally slander was new to me#I’ve never seen it before#I thought we all thought of her as a queen who does no wrong(don’t take this super seriously everyone makes mistakes I know that)#I hate that I clarify everything but ppl get mad over little things so clarification it is#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#hoo#sally jackson#sally jackson appreciation#no sally slander allowed#estelle#estelle blofis#estelle jackson would’ve ate#annabeth chase#chalice of the gods
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mass effect fandom typically has no problem disregarding or rewriting portions of canon, but one thing i have almost never seen touched is the friendship between garrus and shepard. so here is a poll because i am genuinely curious. i tried to be as expansive as poll limitations allowed, but since we are already throwing out canon i recognize there are a lot of variances that haven't been included. because of that, i would particularly like it if people elaborated about their non-romantic relationship with garrus in the tags, comments, or reblogs - especially if you are someone who has voted for any of the non-friend options. thanks for your time!
this post is not meant to be garrus critical. garrus enjoyers are welcome to participate in the poll, i only ask that you are respectful toward other people who may not have him as their favorite, or who may just simply roleplay a shepard that does not have him as their (best) friend for whatever reason.
#mass effect#mass effect polls#kaidan alenko#ashley williams#liara t'soni#i feel like such an ass tagging with those char tags but i really want a discussion started 😭#if you want it removed from one of the character tags let me know and i'll oblige#(i didn't tag gman only bc i feel like most of the ppl who frequent that tag are the ones who romance him and this is a non-romance poll)#tbh i already know what the most popular choice(s) are going to be#but maybe the convo it starts will be interesting :3#anyway. my answer to the poll:#nadia doesn't recruit him in ME1 and i diverge from canon options by ME3#i think he is a crew member in ME2 as per canon but in ME3 he only joins temporarily and leaves with victus#like how you can dismiss the VS after the coup and they just become a war asset#the overall poll option that suits her best i think is just that she doesn't hate him but she also doesn't trust him#but if i went by game me1 would be that she mostly doesn't remember he exists#me2 would be antagonistic coworkers but (very grudging) trust in combat#me3 is the overall poll option i already mentioned. more or less
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my fellow anxiety havers what is one of your mundane day-to-day tasks that should by no means be anything remarkable but feels like you are being hunted for sport. i’ll go first: putting all of your groceries on the conveyor belt during checkout is like a long series of quick time events to me
#marzi speaks#it’s bc like. you have a cart Full of groceries#there is a cashier looking to scan the groceries#there is (often) a bagger looking to bag the groceries and put them back in your cart#goal: get as many groceries onto that belt as fast as possible#REMEMBER: heaviest items go first so that nothing gets crushed when the bagger puts the groceries back in your cart#it is so stressful. move so fast ‘which of these items is gonna be heavier’ getting to the end and realizing you missed like 3 cans…#it’s even worse if there are ppl behind you. i live in texas so i can at least make socially acceptable conversation with the cashier#EXCEPT i’m already way overthinking the conveyor belt situation. i’m already frazzled#and now i gotta do small talk? oh god#on the bright side i am so fast at it it’s insane. i move faster than the cashier can keep up with#which is A Good Thing. bc that means i am at max efficiency#but like. WAAAUUGHH#and then u pay and hope the card reader isn’t gonna be a bitch#and you sit there for a moment while the cashier and bagger bag the rest of your groceries#and ur like ‘….should i help should i stay here’#tbh checkout is why i like never go grocery shopping alone if i know i won’t have self check out#bc what if there is no bagger. then i gotta balance Get Groceries On Belt. Pay For Groceries. AND Bag The Groceries#ouh god the time concerns. no . never. you can’t make me do that alone#someone handles the transaction while the other person bags it’s the only reasonable way to do it#i KNOW logically that it is not a big deal. but i hate the idea of making anyone wait for me
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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adhd comix
#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired#like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability#and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors#i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working#isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol#if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you#need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid#im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher#to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll#go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms#AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis#theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were#comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run#and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make#a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need#to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh#yapping#vent
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idk sometimes seeing all the hate gege gets makes me sad. :( like I know alot of it is jokes/memes, but there are some people that are very serious and weird about it
#praying the extra volume content thats releasing in afew days doesnt make the fandom too crazy#like seeing ppl already getting ready to hate bc theres supposedly epilogue stuff w/ ozawa and theyre saying geges gonna ruin itafushi ????#pls dont let this become like what happened with the final volume of mha#gege get behind me-#when ppl get mad and say he doesnt know how to write his own characters :(#.....like have u ever considered that perhaps your interpretation of the character just doesnt match with canon#which is fine bc its all fiction and people can interpret however they want#but its so frustrating when they insult the actual creator for how they write the character#like ???? thats their own oc im pretty sure they know them better than you 💀#idk i think it has a lot to do with hcs that become almost universally accepted by the fandom people forget that they are hcs#ppl talking about gege like hes some irl villain playing 5dchess to make his readers suffer and everything he doee is of malicious intent#and then u go read an actual interview with him and its like: my pen name (gege akutami) basically means useless trash . i hate myself and#have self esteem issues so i have no idea why people actually like and support my lame ideas and cant believe it. thank u so much for all#the support it really means alot. ok now back to self deprecating#😭😭😭
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As much as I'm a Pharma apologist he is genuinely an asshole who acts completely unrepentant so something I think about for an eventual Pharma redemption fic is like. How do you write a redemption for a severely traumatized guy whose coping mechanism is to act like he doesn't care and the people who need to accept him don't like/care about him enough to go "hey it's okay everyone gets a second chance" and/or "wow Pharma is so radically different what caused that change."
But also like it's really hard to help someone who has no desire to/refuses to be helped and makes himself deliberately unpleasant to be around so like idk
#in the end i think what it comes down to is no one asked WHY#no one looked at pharma's before and after and went 'how did that happen'#even when other ppl talk about pharma's change it's always in such like a. passive way#'before he went mad and started killing patients' yeah and what made him go mad exactly?#everyone just kinda talks about pharma like 'yeah he used to be great then he started killing people'#i know he's a minor character but LITERALLY NO ONE ASKS WHY#and like let me emphasize multiple people say 'for most of his life he was a good doctor' or something#no one was like 'yeah i always knew pharma was a piece of shit'#(besides ratchet telling him he was always a terrible autobot but i think that was a heat of the moment thing)#pharma apologism#like it's just absurd how everyone goes 'yeah pharma went insane. pity' but no one ever brings up why#i know it's just authorial accidentally writing a deep character but not having time to acknowledge it#but like when i think of in universe explanations for why the autobots would be like this#the only explanations are that ppl either already hated pharma (not supported by evidence)#or that the autobots just really hate traitors. which seems more likely given like. how getaway was treated#this is basically the one time i understand autobot slander bc when i think about it i'm kinda like#yeah the average autobot is kind of sanctimonious and thinks ppl less moral than them are pieces of shit#whereas to contrast the decepticons are kind of just not concerned about morality and more about their dogma#accidental cross faction comparison in the notes
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Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?
#persona#persona 3#kotone shiomi#shinjiro aragaki#i uh. probably didnt do much here to prove that their relationship is best when its platonic akjsks i mean idk how to convey it#that these two are just so good for each other but that im just not feeling it romantically#and why should i honestly like cant a guy and a girl just be platonic soulmates like me and jackie aljsks#plus i just have other ships with these characters i like better ahem akishinji and mitsuham yall already know#and i just feel really comforted by their relationship being best friends cuz it makes the pocket watch a lot more power of friendship#and it just. irks me the idea that its romantic love that saves shinji and its romantic love that gave him a will to live#cuz first off you can save him without romancing him and also like if you think kotone is the only person he wants to live for#youre just wrong like in fact its very clear in his social link that he feels this strong love for everyone#its literally like why other characters are so ingrained into his link he loves everyone and they love him back#its just kotone who organizes the time for them all to get together plus like idk when ppl say shinji only wants to live after romancing#kotone its like. well hes not gonna have a good time post coma then huh#and i suppose the point being made is he has to learn to live even if his gf isnt there but again like. shes not the only thing he has#idk i just hate this like pedestal romantic relationships are put on and i hate the implications that like#akihiko has been trying for years to protect shinji and his love doesnt matter cuz it isnt some heterosexual romance#grrrrr it just irks me is all and yeah i just think theyre besties who do everything together#kotone is like shinjis emotional support animal that guides him through the scary crowds and shinji is off putting enough to scare away the#meanies that come their way and they have a dress up montage and make cookies
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TIL: The person that picks up when you call your representatives isn't always going to simply listen, take notes, and pass it on for you. They may try to argue with you and gaslight you about your concerns! 😃🙃
So this is friendly reminder to take care of yourself if you're marathoning calling representatives! Take breaks if you need to, drink your favorite drink, eat your favorite snack, take deep breaths in between each call! And if you have an audio recorder feel free to keep it close to your phone in case the person you're on call with tries to say some slick shit 🤗
#for context i was calling all of the nassau county districts 🙃#there's 19 of them and i can count on one hand how many of the people i was on the phone with actually let me get more than 3 sentences in#before cutting me off to whitesplain me what i already know the bill to be claiming#re: how it supposedly isn't going to affect people who wear masks/face coverings for medical or religious or recreational reasons#i felt like i was in a time loop with how it felt like I was getting the exact same response over and over#like thanks i didn't call to discuss this with you can you shut the fuck up and just take notes of what I'm calling about please???#this shit is draining omfg#I do not TRUST the judgement of cops to make sound decisions of who's a “bad actor”#and it's pathetic how much they worship their cops#that they can't even process the fucking fact that MAYBE JUST MAYBE YOUR COPS ARE RACIST PIECES OF SHITS#THEY STATISTICALLY HAVE A HIGH RATE OF POLICE BRUTALITY AGAINST BLACK & BROWN PPL OVER THERE HOLY SHIT#THE DISSONANCE. THE WILLFUL IGNORANCE.#I HATE ALL OF THIS OMFG#mod enid
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