#I almost wrote this whole thing and then my computer died and I want to scream

[dirtytransmasc]

Is Spider human body dying? If that’s the case then mama Neytrir and the rest of the fam would then feel like getting the boy an avatar is there only option to save him. And when it’s finally made they befo wouldn’t wast time to get him into the avatar body. But image when he wakes up and he’s just really out of it( he’s kinda just a little bit drunk at first). While everyone is crying for joy and Neytiri just takes him into her arms while Jake holds his hands while moving his hair out of his face, while everyone else is just either crying for joy for just partying.

meanwhile Spiders just like: o m g IM BLUE AND TALL.

(I apologize in advance, I got really technical and drawn out, cause autism or something, lol)

spiders body was left too weak and damaged after such a traumatic injury (they tend to use bigger guns with bigger bullets on the na'vi, so it was a lot for such a tiny body), the amount of blood loss, and the after effects of such an injury (infection, organ function complications, etc.). there was little chance he would wake up and his body, more specifically his mind, didn't take well to being in a coma. some people can 'fade' as a result of being in a coma, and more specifically, being locked in an unconscious body out of their control. this can cause both mental and physical shutdown, which would be devastating to watch, as little can be done for it besides putting him on more and more forms of life support. (don't mind me, I hyperfixated on medicine for years, I know too much)

so the rush to make spider an avatar would be kinda hectic because they're trying to beat the ever-ticking countdown before spider has shut down past the point that he could be placed into an avatar safely, let alone, pass through the eye of Eywa. aside from getting eh actual materials to make an avatar, there's the grow time itself; assuming it takes 3-5 years (they say 3 years ship time 5 years earth time, I'm not physics smart, I don't know what that means) to grow an avatar to around 20ish years old, it would take 2 or 3 to grow one around spider's age. that's 2 or 3 year they barely have, let alone the time to gether materials.

so to say that the sully's are an emotional wreck is an understatement. neytiri has to face that fact this could all be for nothing. the danger her family pus themselves through, raiding the RDA, moving materials, tracking labs and transits; the time, effort, and supplies taken from the scientists that still remained on their side; the stress she was putting herself and her kids through. it could all be for nothing, she may still lose her child, her baby.

jake, and subsequently neteyam and lo'ak putting themselves through hell on raids, all while stressing about their child. having to pick between being out in the field or being home; being in the field gives them a better chance of bring home the materials they need, but they have to give up what might be the last little bit of time they have with their son/brother. stay home, and they guarantee his demise. no father nor brother should ever have to make that choice.

kiri and tuk have to watch both their brother and mother fade away, withering. they know that if he does die, they won't just be losing him, they'll be losing her as well.

all in all, its a rough time, for all of them. years knowing spider is stuck just beyond a hazy wall out of their reach, knowing that they might have been too late from the start, watching all the little moving parts come together and praying that it all ends well.

and finally, by the grace of Eywa, the avatar is complete; its young, they didn't want to risk pushing spider any farther, so its only 13/14ish but its more then enough for them, and they assume spider won't be too miffed about it.

the transfer was stressful, his brain activity was good, but max and norm are not the best when it comes to whispering, so they all get a nice loud and clear message that there's still a chance for it all to go wrong in a split second. they watch with bitten lips and trembling hands grasping to one another (they use the avatar pods the first time round, cause y'know, taking a person in a coma, underwater, to use the spirit tree... not the best idea, especially when you don't know exactly what's gonna happen). but as soon as the machine starts going and no one's voice gets particularly anxious as they bark instructions and information at one another, it feels like the weight it lifting off their shoulders, and when the sounds stop and the na'vi body on the other side of the glass window starts shifting its like they can all breath again, they have their boy back, their baby.

then its only a matter of keeping neytiri back long enough for the science pukes to do what they need to, which is completely unsuccessful. then theirs a chorus of moaning and groaning from the kids as neytiri and jake are allowed to be with spider as he wakes up and they're not ("it's just a safety concern" max, probably. "well you can stick your 'safety concern' up my a-" tuk, probably, she's a big girl now).

its definitly a lot on spider, he's been stuck in his own head for like, 4 or 5 years, now he's in a whole new, blue, body. he comes into the world hearing his mother's cries and feeling his dads hands practically holding him together. its nice, even if he has no idea what's happening.

neytiri pets at his hair and lets her fingers run over his features, kissing his forehead and holding onto his hand as he started to weakly wiggle his fingers; reminding jake of his first time waking up. jake was too busy feeling his sons unaided breath going in and out of his chest where his palm rested, feeling a heart beating stronger than it had in years, watching his eyes flutter as he adjusted to the light. such little things felt like blessings.

eventually spiders able to figure everything out enough to just let a breathy little "oh shit" out, earning a laugh from his dad. he hears his mom smack him, laughs a little himself, he missed this. then that hits him, it must have been a long time since... since he almost died, his family's probably been waiting on him for a while, his mama's been waiting for him.

he's clumsy like a newborn baby, but he turns to where he's pretty sure his mom is sitting, curling into her as she wraps him in her arms. she missed this, feeling him move under her arms, not lying against her still and lifeless. this was nice, this was good, this was right.

and after a while of laying against his mama he hears movement, and talking, so much talking. he's barely even awake but he knows that all his siblings have gathered around him. his dad's attempt to fend them from smothering him fail; he's got tuk in his lap, kiri wrapped around his shoulders, both of his brothers were close by, lo'ak at the end of the bed, neteyam at the head with his hand in spider's hair.

he feels loved and it feels fucking fantastic, he's been getting bits and pieces of his family's affections over eywa only knows how long, so to be touched and loved on and talked to, it feels great. he soaked it all up, letting it bring him fully into his body.

as his sight and hearing clear up he finally gets a good look at his family; neteyam is all grown up and a carbon copy of their mama, lo'ak looked just like jake too, tuk was almost all grown up, he missed so much of her childhood, and kiri looked like grace, full of piss and vinegar yet so beautiful, one with the great mother and nature and him, his heart. his siblings had changed so much, in all fairness he had too, but he felt like he had been robbed of so much, they had been robbed of him.

he looked to his parents, the white strands in his mother's hair, tattling on the stress she was trying to hide with her bright smiles. jakes eyes were tired, his face held more lines in it, and his shoulders sagged.

they'd been through enough, him, his family, his people, so he was going to take this new body and new chance at life with stride and pray that eywa would be good to them.

"I'm fucking blue motherfuckers," he announced, finally pulling himself up to sit, getting his brothers all riled up and a tired shake of the head from kiri.

"yeah your fucking blue, now relax before you upset norm and max, mama might kill them if they try and take away visitation rights." kiri scolds, gently of course.

he mocked a yeah yeah, attempting to flick his tail at her, with no avail.

"hey dad, is this what it felt like when you first used your avatar? all mushy and weird." he turns to look at jake, completely and blissfully unaware of the bomb he's about to drop on jake.

"yeah kiddo, but you break it in a bit and it feels normal," he looked... happy, but sad.

dad

oh, fuck... thats the first time jake had heard him say that since that day.

"wanna take it for a spin kid? with your mama's permission of course..." his eyes anxiously scanned his mates face, clearly trying to distract both of them from the mental trip they just went on.

he felt his mom wrap around him tighter, hissing a bit before relenting, "10 minutes jake, or so help me," the threat rumbled low in her core, she would have her baby returned to her in 10 minutes or the only person who could protect jake was Eywa herself.

"got it, come on kid, up on your feet," jake ordered in that stupid fake military voice he'd used since they were kids, holding out a hand, pulling spider to his brand new feet with ease.

his siblings jumped up to follow, kiri and tuk dragging their mother along, and for the first time ever, he went outside and breathed the air of his people without a mask or pain, he could trot along with his siblings, and his senses were razor sharp.

his mother stayed close, keeping a hand in his hair, guiding him with her tail as if he truly was a newborn. her smiles was worth it though, bright and relieved as she watched her children and mate finally finding peace. his siblings dancing around him, lo'ak and tuk in particular while neteyam and kiri watch on feigning disappointment.

he could get used to this, he will get used to this.

[that-sarcastic-writer]

A Love Game

DI!Single!Dad!Leon S. Kennedy X F!Teacher!Reader

Summary: You hear a glimpse of Leon's relationship with his daughter. And later he makes you a proposal you just can't refuse

Warnings: mild sexual content, still minors dni, brief phone sex, allusions to sex, Leon has a mouth on his as always, bit of soft!dom leon, mostly Leon being a soft dad on this one, foul language (as always), no use of y/n

WC: 3k

A/N: so I'm totally in love with this dynamic! And yalls support was insane. I literally wrote two separate drafts of a continuation of these two and whichever I finished first was gonna be posted, so the light smut one won bc I'm tired atm and didn't feel like sitting in front of my computer for 6 hours🙃 so this short part will have a second part to it with full spicy time. And another standalone part with these two (coffee and other things) having some more spicy time is also in the works, so stay tuned. Besitos <3

Universe Masterlist

Leon blinked slowly, his eyes now starting to grow sore from staring at the bright computer screen for so long. But he just hadn't had time to finish this stupid report. Sure, he has had two whole days to get it done, but with a tiny human clinging to his arm every waking minute, it was a bit more complicated than he thought. But he couldn't possibly ignore his little girl when he barely had the time to be with her without having to worry about stopping some mad scientist with too much time in their hands. He didn't mind though. His little girl was more important than anything else. 

Still, he took advantage of the little window of time he had now. He had given Isabella dinner a little over an hour ago. Then left her in the dining room to finish her homework. She had always been a smart girl, responsible with her homework, she never fussed when he asked her to do it, so it didn't worry him in the slightest to leave her to do her own thing. She tended to get distracted when he was around anyway. 

Though, maybe an hour had gone by when he heard tiny feet pad bare through the wood floors and he saw a mess of chocolate brown strands sticking from its bun peek above his computer screen. He slowly lowered the screen until it was almost shut and he was met with a pair of sapphire eyes that were a replica of his own. He raised an eyebrow at her. 

"Daddy." She took a step closer to him, her eyes big like she wanted to ask him something. 

Leon sat up fully, setting his laptop aside and nodded at her, giving her his full attention now. "What's up bee?" 

"Can I.. uhm.. I can play with your switch now?" She asked, dark lashes batting as she fiddled with her hands. As if she had to give him puppy dog eyes for him to say yes. He kept his face serious though. 

"You wanna play on my switch?" She nodded. He ran his fingers over his light stubble as if he was thinking real hard, he pursed his lips in thought. "I dunno hun, did you finish your homework?" 

"How did you know I had homework?" She asked with an adorable frown on her face, it took Leon all of his willpower not to break then. 

"Well I do now." He slipped a smile and she pouted. He couldn't help but chuckle at his little girl. He took her in his arms and sat her on his lap. "Well I knew before. Wanna know how?" 

Her head perked up. "How?" 

Leon leaned into her ear with a smile, "'Cause dads know everything about their little girls." He pressed a kiss to the side of her hair and set her back on her feet. "But yeah, Miss Pretty Teacher told me." 

"That's cheating!" She whipped her head around with a gasp and glared at him. He again couldn't hide his laugh. 

"Yeah alright, you caught me," he raised his hands up at her in surrender. "You can play on the switch for a bit. Do you remember how to turn it on?" 

Izzy proudly nodded and skipped over to the large TV hooked up to the living room. The TV had been on, nothing playing, but just on, since Leon had intended to play some white noise in the background but never actually loaded up anything. He switched to the right input as he watched Izzy turn on the Switch. It took her a second to remember how, but she was happily skipping back to the couch with the controllers as the loading screen came up before Leon could get up to help. He shook his head to himself, but he puffed out a breath when Izzy jumped on his lap, rather hard, the little girl giggling when he groaned. 

"Jesus Christ, when did you get so big?" He chuckled, fixing her on his lap so she wouldn't fall and watched as she scrolled through the games until she found Mario Kart. 

"I turned seven in October, remember?" She piped up, genuinely reminding him of such an important date, as if he would ever forget. He nodded. 

"I know, Izzy. I took you to Dave and Busters with Amara, remember?" 

"Oh. Yeah, you're right. That was fun. We should go again sometime! Please daddy?" She turned her head to look at him with this smile on her face and her big blue eyes. 

God, what did he ever do to deserve this kid? 

He pressed his lips to her forehead and nodded. 

"'Course. I'll talk to Amara's mom, okay?" 

He watched as Izzy excitedly nodded and cheered happily before she got lost in the game in front of her. He didn't mind her having screen time. It wasn't like she had an iPad glued to her face twenty-four-seven. He let her play once or twice a week, and maybe a third if he was feeling like playing with her. And she was more than happy to spend that time with her dad. 

Tonight he wasn't really feeling playing, so he watched her do her best. To her, she was the biggest winner there ever was, throwing turtle shells and bombs at practically nothing and hitting the wall with every curve, but she had fun with it, so he let her be, cheering her on whenever she finished a race, even if it was in ninth or eighth place. 

Maybe thirty minutes had passed when he felt his phone buzz beside him. He took his eyes away from the colorful screen to look at his phone. It lit up with a text, and his smile grew wide at the name. 

My pretty teacher. 

He grabbed his phone and quickly opened the conversation. You had been texting back and forth all day, for days now, after what he considered a perfect first date, but he just hadn't gotten around to match your schedule to plan another date. So you had resorted to texting and maybe calling once here and there. But God, he was really missing you right about now.

My pretty teacher: sorry, I went to dinner with my mom and sister. And I just got home. Hru? 

He bit his lip as he attempted to type into his phone one handed. 

Me: It's fine. I'm ok. With izzy. 

My pretty teacher: awww🥰 

Me: Can you call? I'm texting with one hand at the moment. 

You saw the message, and he could see the three text bubbles appear and disappear. Until they didn't come back. He mentally grimaced at himself, maybe the idea of talking to him while Isabella was there made you uncomfortable? Shit. He hadn't thought about that. Christ, he hadn't dated in so long he had forgotten that being a single dad wasn't exactly the biggest turn on. No matter how much one liked kids. 

His anxiety riddled brain stopped racing when he saw your contact name pop up on his screen as his phone started ringing. He grinned to himself. He glanced at Izzy— her full attention was still on her game, he shrugged and answered the call. He set his phone down, still having one ear bud in from when he was working on his laptop. 

"Hey Miss." He spoke first, his heart racing in his chest a bit. 

"Hi Leon." He could hear the smile in your voice. That shy smile he thought was the prettiest thing. 

"You busy?" He asked, still a bit worried he was interrupting you in the middle of something. Though the indistinct sound of TV playing in the background let him know that maybe you weren't that busy. 

"Not really. I got home a little bit ago so I was just about to run myself a bath." You answered, walking back and forth between your bedroom and the bathroom connected to it. "You?"

Leon tried his hardest not to think about your words too much. Not right now. 

"Nah. Just watching Izzy play on my switch. She's kicking ass in Mario Kart." He heard you blurt out a giggle, which made him chuckle, but what made him actually laugh was Izzy shooting him a frown over her shoulder. 

"Daddy, that's a no-no word." 

Leon snapped his head down at Izzy and he frowned, not sure if he heard her correctly, "What's that bee?" 

"I said that's a bad word."

"What is?" 

"Ass." 

Leon almost snorted at the way she said the word. With a frown and her lips pursed. He didn't care if she said bad words or not. He sure as hell said them all the time, but he encouraged her not to repeat what he said, in front of other people, at least. He narrowed his eyes at her. 

"So don't say it. I'm an adult. I can say them." When she kept looking at him, he placed a hand on top of her head and —gently— turned her head back towards the TV screen, despite her protest. "Keep playing your game, Isabella. Or you can't sit on my lap anymore." 

All Leon could hear was you attempting to muffle your laughter, but he could hear your giggles loud and clear. He only rolled his eyes, but he had a tiny smile of his own. 

"C'mon don't laugh, being a parent is hard. Are you the one teaching her this no-no bull— B.S?" He caught himself, closing his eyes when you laughed even more, now not even bothering to hide it. 

"I have to! I have a swear jar, I'm sorry. I gotta set an example." 

He actually laughed at this, remembering the mouth you had on you when he had you on his bed. 

"Yeah, well, you weren't so pure and innocent when you were screaming—" He caught himself again, his own eyes widening when he remembered Isabella was right there and he sighed out softly. "Give me an hour and I'll give you the answer you deserve, Miss." 

You stayed quiet for a second, not because he offended you, but because you needed a second to breathe and control the heat that flashed between your legs at his insinuation. You exhaled deeply before responding. 

"You're what again? Playing Switch with Izzy? 

Leon hummed in response. "She is. She's sitting on my lap so I'm being forced to watch." 

"I'm not forcing you!"

"On your game, Isabella. Stop listening to my conversation." 

"Does she have her own Switch or something?" You asked, now sitting on the edge of your bathtub as hot water poured from the faucet. 

"No. It's my Switch. But I leave it in the living room so she can play sometimes." He answered you with a shrug you obviously couldn't see. 

You chuckled softly, "How old are you again?" 

"Thirty-eight, but that's besides the point. I barely have time to use the thing. I mostly bought it for Izzy." He wasn't lying— entirely. He sometimes played, late at night by himself when he wanted to drown himself in a bottle of whiskey. He would choose to play a game to blow off steam instead of getting drunk with his little girl sleeping in the next room or passing out drunk at some shitty bar. 

"I'm very convinced by that." You snorted, making him sigh out at you.

"Hmph. Whatever. You wouldn't understand how cathartic throwing green turtle shells at tiny cars can be." 

"Oh I bet." 

"Daddy?" You heard Isabella's voice through the phone and your heart warmed.

Leon looked down at Izzy, "Yeah?" 

"Who are you talking to?" She asked with genuine curiosity, her very glorious race tournament now over and her attention was on him. 

He heard you go silent, most likely having heard the little girl and he sighed out, his eyes landing up on the ceiling for a second as he thought of his answer. 

"Just a friend, bee." He ultimately decided on that answer. It wasn't that he was ashamed of being with you, not at all, but Izzy was still young, and even he knew there had to be a proper introduction of you outside of your teacher role. He actually wanted to do this the right way.

"You fuck my brains out last week and I'm just a friend now?" He heard you comment in his ear and he groaned out. 

"C'mon, that's not fair." He leaned back into the couch, his forearm over his eyes now as he basically had two women all over him, pressing him with way too many questions for his liking. 

"I'm just giving you a hard time, Leon. I get it." There was humor in your voice, lightheartedness and even though he couldn't see you, he had a feeling you had that gentle smile on your lips. That eased the pressure on his chest. 

"Listen sweetheart, it's almost Izzy's bedtime," His eyes were on Izzy now, and with his eyes he was nudging at her to start wrapping up her game. She pouted, but didn't otherwise fuss. "Call you in an hour?" 

You both had this dumb, lovesick smile on your face, if only you could see the other.

"I'll be up."

The warm water, the foaming body wash and the intoxicating smell of your favorite candle had done wonders to relax you. When you left the bathtub you felt like a whole new person. Though there still this tug of butterflies in your stomach as you anxiously waited for Leon to call you. 

You sat on the edge of the tub, warm and fluffy robe wrapped around your naked body as you mindlessly scrolled through your social media for a little while before you decided to check out for the night. You nearly slipped right off the tile when your phone buzzed and you felt a cold shiver run down your spine. 

"Hey, sorry about, y’know, earlier. Izzy and I are like that." You smiled at the sound of Leon's voice, now a bit hushed but more relaxed and carefree, like he now could say whatever the fuck he wanted. 

"It's okay. It was cute, hearing how you talk to her. You're sweet." You smiled to yourself, and you could hear him breathe out a soft laugh, most likely a bit flustered by your words, but he otherwise didn't show it. "You put her to sleep though?" 

"Yeah, I stayed with her 'til she fell asleep. I'm in my bedroom now, about to take a shower." He said the words slowly, with purpose, like he wanted you to think about it like he had been thinking about you, taking that bath. "So, you take your bath yet?" 

"Yeah, it was nice. I definitely needed it. I could've used some company though." You bit your lip, testing his reaction. There was silence, then he hummed. 

"Yeah? That so?" Now it was your turn to hum in agreement, your legs instinctively closing as you tried to soothe the ache between your thighs. "I'm sure you could've. Would've been nice to have someone hold you, right? Have someone leave kisses on your wet skin, say how good you're doing while getting your pretty pussy fingered?" 

You couldn't hold back the moan that left your throat at his words, and your free hand instantly traveled down, stopping at your belly. 

"Oh, that's a sound I'll never get tired of hearing. Fuck, you're already moaning for me and I'm not even there to give you a reason." He exhaled out a chuckle, his hardening cock starting to press against his sweatpants. 

"Fuck, I really wish you were here." You sighed out, your hand itching closer towards your already wet cunt, but you knew it wasn't your touch you ached for. It was Leon's. 

"Yeah? Why's that?" 

You whined softly, your phone almost slipping off your grip as your head fell to the side. "Leon…" 

"Tell me." 

"Because… I really, really, need you to touch me, hold me, ugh— I just need you to fuck me, Leon." 

Leon clenched his fist as his side, teeth digging into his bottom lip as he listened to your desperate words, and the sound shot straight to his cock. Fuck, he'd be lying if he said he didn't need you, too. 

"Goddamn baby," He grunted softly, his hand now brushing the front of his sweats, where his cock strained against the material, and he tried to muffle the sound between his teeth, but you heard it anyway. "You have no fucking idea how much I've been wanting to ruin that pussy of yours again. It's actually driving me crazy." 

You shuddered, the ache between your legs starting to become unbearable. "I really want to see you too, baby." 

Leon closed his eyes, biting his lip raw as he thought fuck it. He could explain in the morning. 

"Fuck it, just fuck it. Wanna take the drive here? I swear I'll give you exactly what you need and it'll be so worth it." 

You'd like to think you were a rational person, you always thought things through twice, three times if necessary. You didn't take risks, much less acted in a way that could be considered immoral, but for Leon? Fuck, for that man you would become the biggest whore in this world if it meant he would take you just one more time. 

"Be there in thirty." 

Fuck it. 

Sneak peek of A Love Game Part II, coming soon

His lips were hard on your own, messy on your jaw, like he didn't know which part he wanted to kiss more. Your fingers were entangled in his perfectly soft honey brown strands, already melting under his touch. His hand came up under your jaw to grip your face in place, long fingers sprawled out over your neck. He pulled you back by your face and his eyes were hard on you, with this mixture of authority and utter need to fuck you. He could be both. 

"This is how this is gonna be. I'm going to throw you on that bed and fuck you the way you deserve. But I better not hear a single fucking sound leave those pretty lips of yours. Not tonight. Got it?"

Stay tuned for upcoming parts lovelies. Besitos<3

[julia4today]

the return of arthur pendragon - angst?? PT. 1

this is basically purely backstory, i needed to get something outtt (merlin x arthur)

a/n: this is probably the longest thing I've ever written. +I wrote this on a computer so everything is capitalized n stuff. and i want to say that im really sorry this is delayed and also the first thing ive posted in like two months. that's really on me. additionally, i have a reader x hobie fic coming out soon.

if you have sent me a request I WILL get to it, some may require more research and brain power. announcments: i have an ao3 (i havent posted anything on it though) pendragonco

Most imagine the afterlife to be a wonderland full of radiant flora and a deity only decided by yourself. A place where you may live out the years you never got to experience. But you would be wrong.

The truth is far more complex. It is a realm where echoes of your past deeds and dreams intertwine with the fabric of eternity. Time flows differently, like a river winding through the core of memories and contrition, where every choice made in life reverberates on the very existence of the universe. There are no simple paradises or solitary deities here, but rather a tapestry of existence woven from the threads of every life that comes before and leads after yours.

However, to Arthur Pendragon, both definitions seem untrue. It almost taunts him with how easy they make being dead seem to a new generation of the dead and the living.

To King Arthur, the afterlife is a treacherous wasteland, where the dead seemed unnaturally content despite their recent quietus. All he could do was curse his demise and all the unfulfilled ambitions that haunted him. He wondered about his darling Guinevere, how she fared, now tasked with ruling Camelot in his stead. He thought of the fate bestowed upon Gaius, the man he had trusted implicitly, who now carried the weight of the living through Pendragon's legacy.

But above all, his thoughts always returned to Merlin. A man he had once known. A man he had once trusted. Arthur imagined Merlin. Perhaps Merlin was so grief-stricken he never used his power again? Maybe he avenged the death of his king. For all Arthur knows, Merlin himself could've died, he too could have been cursed to this desolate ether. 

In reality, the world broke. His world broke. The once and future king, the man destined to unite the land of Albion, through magic and none, is now dead. Merlin, day after day, ran his last moments over. Cursing himself for the way Arthur left this world. If he had just listened to Kilgaraah if he had heeded his advice. If he had disposed of Mordred the first time they had met, the King would stand before him long after. No war would have ensued, and Camelot would no longer be in strife with war.

The day his death was announced to the citizens was a dismal one. Clouds cast over the town square, and the whole of the city gathered to hear the words from the queen herself. Gwen and Merlin stand where Arthur had stood just weeks prior. Where Arthur had announced war, Gwen shall announce the outcome of such a thing. 

“My dearest citizens of Camelot,” Her voice wavers. “It is with a heavy heart that I make this declaration. Our beloved king, Arthur Pendragon, has fallen in battle. The king lives no more. His bravery and dedication to our kingdom will forever be remembered. Let us unite in mourning his loss and uphold his legacy with strength and resilience. May his soul find an eternal peace” A long silence befalls Camelot. The only noise was the occasional strangled sob. Coming from townsmen and nobles alike. The knights stood on only one knee. Taking their solemn oath to the King to heart.

In the months that followed the death of the King, Merlin withdrew into solitude, seeking solace in the quiet corners of Camelot and the vast expanses of the surrounding countryside. Memories of Arthur haunted him—laughter shared over campfires, battles fought side by side, and the unspoken bond of friendship that had defined their lives. He found himself replaying every moment, every decision, wondering if there had been a different path—one that could have spared Arthur's life.

In the privacy of his chambers, Merlin poured over ancient texts and scrolls, searching for clues, signs, anything that might point the way to Arthur's return. His magic, once hidden away in fear of persecution, now burned within him with a fierce intensity—a testament to the depth of his devotion and determination. He thought of his previous journey with Arthur, a trip in which Arthur came back fuming at Uther. A trip where they had met with Ygraine, Arthur's mother.

He wonders what spell Morgause had used to conjure the image. Whether or not the image was manipulated, didn't matter so much to Merlin. If he could only see Arthur one last time. One more day. If he could apologize for his secrecy, if he pledged his allegiance to the king, if he could promise to carry out whatever plan Arthur had for Camelot, he would be content. Merlin had believed that if he could just find the right spell, he could bring back the king. Even if only for a short period.

Deciding this was easy for Merlin. Evoking Arthurs image not so much.

----

OKAY, i promise i will get part two out soon. my hobie fic comes out on sunday so

@maumnuu - this is mainly for you :p

[causenessus]

HI HI HI HI NESS IM BACKKFJFKSMSOS so first of all tumblr hates me why is that the FOURTH ask of mine u answered that i wasnt notified of should i just die

anyways im eating lunch rn

healthy girl era did not work out i took a 6 hour (?) nap yesterday so!!

trying again today

N E WAYS

today the teacher told us her old students were too non che lent (nonchalant!!) so they failed the exam (wat.)

and my friend wanted to laugh about it w me but i wasnt looking so she yeeted my OTHER friends eraser at me

but it

it hit (near?) the teacher..

she was sooo mad omfg

giggling i hate her

like basically i answer all her questions out of spite now like YEAH BRO I KNOW THIS ALR😕😕

Also i swear i dif this math problem right but the teacher said it was wrong (wat.) and my friend did it too and we got the same answer (wat.)

i wrote fanfiction at school ☝️😎 it has already been digitalised but like i DID write it

and tjen my friend read an original short story (? 1.2k words) i wrote which was basically me projecting and she almost cried so like Uh

slay???

dude i love talking so much u have no idea actually

ALSO THE THING ABOUT THE ENRGY LIKe I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY OMG SO I GET EXCITED YK

n e ways..

i was watching american psycho last night but i got distracted..😭 ALSO IM SO EXCITED ABT ONICS LIKE EUSHEPSHAPSJXOSKAJDKAAKKDKD

>tries 2 normal

>fails

OK SO!! HRU AND WHATS GOING ON IN UR LIFE AND IF U EVER NEED TO HIRE A HITMAN IM HERE FOR U ❤️‍🩹 as the hitman btw ❤️‍🩹

U SHOULD NOT DIE!!! TUMBLR SHOULD DIE HOW DARE THEY!!! i am so confused at like what is happening at tumblr hq 😭😭 like there are problems that need to be solved!!!! and i feel like they should be pretty simple to fix!!! but instead they're like "NO LET'S MAKE TAGGING USERS GO BLUE AND COMMENTS UGLY"

but anyway!! i hope your lunch was good!! AND A SIX HOUR NAP SOUNDS AMAZING AND JUST AS PRODUCTIVE AS WORKING OUT!! it's hard to balance everything so definitely don't stress too much about it!! you have your whole life ahead of you to like do something like working out so not doing it one day is totally okay!! (yk?? i hope that made sense and i'm sorry i hope it's okay to say that 😭)

??? nonchalant -> failing exam???? i do not see the correlation??? 😭 YOUR TEACHER IS VV SPECIAL!! IS THIS THE ONE THAT TEACHES ENGLISH BUT ISN'T....ACTUALLY....THAT GREAT....AT ENGLISH??? 😭 OR MAYBE IT'S UR MATH TEACHER BC U ALSO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BUT THE ERASER ALMOST HITTING YOUR TEACHER IS CRAZY I WOULD'VE DIED ON THE SPOT 😭😭

also math teachers love to like??? tell u ur wrong and then not explain how to correctly do something??? so i think u should just blame them for everything!! that sounds fair <3

I'VE ALSO WRITTEN FANFICTION AT SCHOOL LMAOOO i remember being on my computer during french class and my guy was just so boring i pulled out the doc and started writing but LUCKILY it was like an oc fic so it wasn't as scary to write as a x reader UNLIKE WHEN I WAS MAKING TONIC PFPS AND MY DOCUMENT WAS LITERALLY CALLED LIKE yn & atsumu and for some reason all of my friends wanted to COME UP FROM BEHIND ME AND HUG ME!! OR LOOK AT MY SCREEN!! and i was just 😃😃😃 but i have no shame so oh well

THE ORIGINAL SHORT STORY SOUNDS GOOD!! ESP IF IT ALMOST MADE YOUR FRIEND CRY?? 😭 I HOPE YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT THOUGH <3 AND I LOVE HEARING YOU TALK!! PLEASE TALK AS MUCH AS YOU WANT I WILL READ EVERYTHING YOU TELL ME <33

I'M SO SO GLAD YOU'RE EXCITED FOR TONICS!! I AM TOO <333 I'M SLOWLY PLANNING IT OUT LIKE ONE CHAPTER AT A TIME AND I'M LITERALLY SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT OMG OMG OMG <33

THANK U LINA!!! I WOULD LOVE FOR U TO BE MY HITMAN <33 I MAY NEED ONE JUST TO GET THRU SCHOOL BC MY HALLS FR ARE SCARY SOMETIMES YK?? like too many scary girls who look me up and down in their little crop tops and shorts and nike air forces and are like "why are u wearing pants in the summer" BC I CAN?? AND I DON'T LIKE SHOWING THAT MUCH SKIN THANK U?? (sorry this probably makes no sense i think my brain has short circuited today </33) BUT I'M DOING ALR!!! i'm stressed about my theatre duties starting up very very soon 😭😭 but i'll let u know how that goes once they start!!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL TODAY!!! AND EAT SOMETHING GOOD <33

[lillotte17]

So, at one point after the season 1 release there was a post floating around somewhere with this idea that Crowley wrote Aziraphale letters and hid them in various books in his shop. I don't know how plausible that idea is, but I thought it was extremely cute, regardless. So, I wrote one of the letters!

It's just been hanging out on my computer for ages because I didn't know what to do with it. It's not really a fic. And I never feel like I get his voice quite right. BUT I still like it, so here you go. <3

~~

A,

You know that I am not very good with words. Well. Generally speaking, anyway. I wouldn't be even halfway decent at my job if I couldn't sell a line or two, but it turns out that it is much easier to talk someone else into going for something that part of them already wants deep down than it is to admit things that we might want for ourselves. Funny, that. 

At any rate, my point is that I am not going to sit here and write you a sonnet or something. Wouldn't even know how to go about it, truth be told. But I know that you seem to enjoy words, especially written ones, since you've set yourself up to be surrounded by them almost constantly, so I thought that this might be easier for both of us.

It doesn't feel easier.  

I understand why you didn’t want to help me the other day, really, I do. But you didn't even give me a chance to explain why I asked, so I'm asking you to listen now. Well…you know, read. Can't really listen to a letter, can you? Not yet, anyway. Who knows what humans will think of next.

From the moment we met, you have always been…something different. Something I didn't expect. In mostly good ways, though I suppose you can't help that. I think I was just curious to start with. Wanted to see what would happen if I poked at you a bit. I didn't expect you to be so…well. You.

We came to an understanding, and I told myself it was just business. Business and lunches. Business and lunches and the odd night out on the town. For someone who lies as much as I do, you'd think I'd be better at lying to myself. Sometimes I wish I was.

I've had a sneaking suspicion that I might actually like you for a frankly embarrassing amount of time, but it had only occurred to me recently that I am... we might…

I don't want things to change.

It's precarious to leave things the way they are, I know that. The people I work for are not known for their forgiveness, and yours have been known for dealing out their fair share of wroth as well. But I used to think that if things went south, I could just talk my way out of it and then avoid you however long until things died down again. I'm an optimist, you know.

But I don't want to avoid you. And our dealings have stepped beyond the scope of plausible deniability at this point. And if they come for me over that… I'm not sure what will happen. Nothing good, though, I'm certain. Maybe they’d kill me, maybe they wouldn’t. Hard to say which would be worse, really.  But I thought, if you helped me, I could put together a sort of fail-safe. Just something to give us me enough time to come up with a plan of action. Find a place to hide. Run off somewhere.

You could come with me. If you wanted.

I know you wouldn’t want to go now, of course. It’d be too big a change. Breaking all sorts of rules. I wouldn’t mind, though. Never did mind too much about breaking rules, as you so often like to remind me.

It’s just… I think you might be the only being in this whole cosmos that I’ve actually managed to make happy. A few times, anyway. Maybe. At least, you seem happy. Most of the time. When we aren’t having a row.

It was a shocking revelation; I can tell you. To imagine that I’d be any sort of good for someone. And that I might even enjoy being 'good' for someone.  It’s sort of nice though. And terrifying. And frustrating. I wasn’t really sure I was capable of this sort of thing. At least, not anymore. Maybe I never was. Maybe that’s why I ended up working the sort of job I’ve got.

The world is full of so many soft words for soft emotions and soft people. Bright ephemeral things. I can’t say they don’t suit you, but they aren’t enough either. Well, maybe ‘enough’ isn’t the word for it. They just…don’t fit exactly right. And how could they? Man can hardly conceive of a word for something that he has little no understanding of. Bet you thought I’d say it was ineffable.  I am not a good messenger for that sort of expression, regardless. Bit outside my wheelhouse.  Just the sort of thing I’d cock up, really.

Look, I don’t really know where to go with any of this. I can’t even fathom a reason why things might change between us. Well, I can, but none of the changes would be good. I only know that, as of right now, you are my best and oldest friend. Perhaps my only friend. And maybe that’s a small thing to most people. But not to me. To me it’s everything.

You’re everything.

But I can see now just how easy it would be for all of it to go wrong. And maybe a smarter person would take that as a sign to cut ties and move on to better things. Keep things safe and simple. Black and white. And maybe you should. I’m selfish, though, which I’m sure you’ve worked out already. And well… 

It’d be an awfully lonely world without you. 

Yours.

[starseneyes]

The Ache of Memory - For Andy

A few days ago, I looked at my Facebook memories and scrolled idly through the comments. My computer had died completely beyond repair, so in January of 2014, I bought my first computer.

Yes, I had computers before then, but I had never bought my own. I'd been blessed to receive handmedowns from folks around me, and once during University, my father even bought me a brand new one.

So, at nearly 30, I was excited to finally buy my own computer. I recorded a ridiculous video about it and posted it. And as I randomly swiped through the comments, not even knowing why I was doing it, I spotted one that made my breath catch.

It was from Andy. Andy Beck. My middle school best friend who would be gone a month later.

I moved away at 16, leaving behind the few friends I had. Most of them fell away long before high school, and while Andy and I weren't as close as we once were, we still loved each other.

Middle School was the height of our friendship. We slipped away at lunch time to eat in this weird, hidden alcove. It took almost a year before we were caught by the same teacher twice.

Yes, we would feign ignorance every time. We just didn't want to have to eat inside! It was cramped and smelled of soured milk and fried okra (which is one of my least favorite things).

So, while everyone else filed dutifully into the lines to the cafeteria, we slipped off to our hideaway.

Once, we got caught in the rain during one of those lunches and got soaked. When we arrived to English class, Ms. Hardy simply sighed at the sight of us. We were grinning ear-to-ear as water dripped down our faces.

Andy and I wrote poetry together, shared in sleepovers, and I even spent a whole day with her in Raleigh while her father worked and sent us off with enough money for lunch and to do whatever while he attended meetings.

Every class project we shared—because we shared most of our classes—with a favorite being our road trip binder project onto which we attached a pair of my yellow socks for a loose Curious George tie-in. No, I don't remember why. Yes, it was Andy's idea.

The other favorite was the Marie Curie presentation. One of us had to be a wax statue and the other presented. Of course, Andy resembled Curie more, and I was happy to present.

We rigged a light into our set-up and speech with a cue word I spoke as wax figure Andy moved her finger a fraction to activate the light. It was so much fun watching people try to decipher how we did it.

We both hated school spirit, but somehow convinced each other to do our eighth grade spirit week together, including "twin day". Why was this particularly hilarious? Andy and I looked nothing alike. So, we wore variations on the same outfit, and they couldn't exclude us from the photos because we technically followed the rules.

We were troublemakers, but only mild trouble. Nothing severe.

We would pass notes to each other, and before the move (where a lot of keepsakes were lost), I still had a shoe box filled with notes from Andy the GREAT! That was how she signed her notes. And she was great.

And seeing that comment the other day crashed into me with a million memories. While we kept up with each other online, most of our chats were on MySpace, and I long ago lost access to mine when my email was hacked. So, little comments like these are some of the last living touches of our friendship.

It's all the harder with Cheryl gone. Andy and Cheryl grew up in the same neighborhood. We had a lot of the same classes together. And I have so many pictures of the pair of them that I took with my little disposable, film camera.

Gosh, these photos are grainy. But I treasure them, all the same.

This is what she wrote to me in our 8th grade yearbook. Now, we didn't actually have eighth grade yearbooks because there was some problem with the school. So, we all got together and made makeshift ones.

Andy and Cheryl taking over the universe. They could've done it. They really could have.

Two Big Things that Hit Hard

I attended Andy's funeral in Wilmington, North Carolina with my husband, Matthew. My friend Cheryl offered to drive down with us, but I was secretly eight weeks pregnant with twins, so we really wanted to ride just the two (er... four) of us.

The service was lovely, and it was the first time I'd seen Andy's older sister, Kelsey, in forever. I hadn't seen most of the folks from back when since I was 15 and I was nearly 30.

I stood in line to greet Andy's father, to tell him how sorry I was for his loss. I thought of how to introduce myself, since I was only a part of Andy's life in-person from 1996-2000. It was 2014. It had been a long time.

Mr. Beck finished speaking with the person in front of me, and as they moved on, his eyes fell to me. Three things happened I never could have anticipated—his eyes widened as he smiled, he reached down to hug me, and he breathed my name with joy as he did. I can still hear it in my head.

You don't know the impact you have on a life. I knew what Andy meant to me. I don't know if I ever knew what I meant to her. But in that moment, I knew I'd left a mark, somehow, and it was comforting to know.

The other thing happened before the funeral—on the night Andy OD'd.

See, I had a policy back then that if someone was having a bad day, I gave them space. This was informed by my childhood. If you've read any of my posts, you know it wasn't the greatest.

So, giving space was the best way to get through when the adult in my life had a bad day. Engaging only led to you becoming the new lightning rod onto which bolts of hate were spewed.

That night, I saw Andy's post go up in real-time. I still remember part of it, "For every one step forward I take two steps back". I thought about messaging her, but decided to give her space. Let her work through it.

And by morning she was gone.

That changed everything for me in how I approached those hurting around me. It changed everything. Because, I realized I will never know if reaching out might have spared Andy her fate, but I will wonder the rest of my life.

So, the next time I saw someone hurting, I reached out. It was a friend I hadn't spoken to in ages, but I saw their post show up in real-time and messaged immediately. We chatted for over an hour.

She was so low and depressed. She was so lost. And I just stayed there online with her, messaging and chatting and being a virtual ear for her. I let her decide when the conversation was over, and as we said goodnight, I whispered into my quiet house, "For Andy."

The next morning came, and my friend messaged me. She was doing much better and wanted me to know how much it helped. I will never know if I could have helped Andy, but that night I did help someone else. I was there for them when no one else was, and it helped.

So, if you've ever wondered why I'm the first to respond to every heartache I see, to every loss or disappointment... it's because I want to help.

That night when Andy posted, I thought I was helping by giving her space. Now, I know better. I know to offer myself. And if someone says no, that's perfectly fine. But if they say yes, I know that's one more person I can help in this world.

Andy, I miss you ferociously. You were a force of nature, one of the most creative souls I've ever known, and the glue that held my Middle School experience together. There's so much I wouldn't have gotten through without you.

But your legacy lives on, Andy. In your child. And in the impact you had on us all. I will never ever forget you.

And you. Yes, you, reading this. Don't ever underestimate the impact you have on another life just by being who you are.

You are made of stardust and dream stuff, and I am in awe of you. Get out there and shine, because somebody's life will be touched by your light, and it will be all the better for it.

Mine is forever brighter because I knew Andy.

[the-firebird69]

Yujiro Hanma vs @FrankieLapenna in the @PFLMMA #yujirohanma

And there's some really crazy dudes out here and they're actually super Saiyan and Ken is one and he says what level and our friend here is number one he's in all of the videos all of the movies and it's not his body okay but he has something more important to say and he wants to know if I want to do the honors I will because I've seen it these people can be Giants and his brother can be a giant that's huge bigger than 100 miles it's not really necessary they used to have a Castle in the sky when was in Bavaria and they use the same method they would use Phil and rocks and boulders and stones that would move and they would move them and the same thing happened he thinks it's in India on top of the tallest mountains on Earth and not in Greece and it's up there because it's a higher elevation and people don't go there the second being the reason he says the hair is too thin and they don't live there and the Giants filled it in the whole area it's a valley in the sky and built a huge castle that goes to the outer atmosphere we think or close what do you say is 10 miles you think it's higher the elevation of the top of Everest as well 15 miles above the surface level and the council could be who knows 2 mi 3 MI at 18 miles which is odd it would be almost without gravity and he says with a column or turret launching becomes easier because the pressure becomes greater just like launching these huge ships and that's probably how he came up with it and that castle was torn down and put somewhere and what we're looking at it went worse it's a relationship castle where his children died they would die in there at times and fighting and out in the world and we're responsible for a lot of it and the max were and others who have been in these buildings and the max are having people there and saying you're dying here just like the children and we caused it and they're dying there too no one is immune to it and there's plenty of these who put his brother in his final Castle no it's the second and most important and where it is and he's going to defeat him with that area because of the computer program that he wrote and he says I think I was wrong I think it's in India I think it's at the huge mountains K2 and Mac probably finds out and figures it out and might it might be why I feel bad for them because it sounds true and I might die in Thailand and it's because of what he figured out we're heroes for our people and the max we used and it's really bad there are these schools too suffering and getting hurt and it's because they're pushing too hard and we were too he said they're human and they have big hearts and the hearts broke and I feel bad for them

Dan

My son explains it very well he says this person next door is 5 years old and that's it the brakes went on he doesn't get any bigger my son is an adult and he sounds like a 70 year old man no he sounds like a 4000-year-old person he's very wise and he has jokes and does things that work but this is horrible when my son is is hell and the other one is hell too but this one is really awful he did some gross things but I hear everyone was pushing him like when he was JC it's not really his fault and he wanted the program and the computer and that's what you're still after and your greed is going to overrule your logic he is very dangerous I feel bad for people to go against him but he was going against me and my son hey my dear husband and I don't know where he is or if he's alive and my son hasn't figured it out and can't for some reason he thinks he is James Bond and he came out like in the movie and I can't find that place and he says that it is was in New Hampshire and he thinks it's moved to the upper Midwest it's just going to close soon it's that casino Batman goes up there Daniel and we think we're going to try and get him to go up there and we need to stay on track and Mac you and yours and the max we need to get up there and see and they want to and I do see why and I thank you I know where I am walking around I need help with that too

Camilla if they prove that you're a Harvard grad they'll have to get you some money it's ridiculous

[kingsuckjin]

Company Policy -JJK

- Pairing: coworker Jungkook x reader

- Genre: established relationship? Sort of

- Rating:18+

- Words: 5k

- Summary: Eight months. Eight months you have regretted breaking off being fuck buddies with your hot coworker. You were so afraid of being caught with him but now that you’ve had time to think, would it really be so bad as long as you could have him all to yourself again? Does he even like you anymore? Has he moved on? All you know is it’s been eight months since you’ve had sex, he’s been all you could think about. Now he’s looking pretty hot at this office party.

- Warnings: pining, explicit content, public sex, they fuck on a coworker’s desk, public sex, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, heavy dirty talk, brief mention of oral sex and a ton of other past sexual acts like thigh riding and hair pulling, kind of jealous tattooed kook, not voyurism but someone else is there at some point, and finally a dash of fluff.

- A/n: This post is a commission for the ARMY for AAPI Justice and Advocacy Event. Please click >here< to find more resources and consider donating to the cause! Thank you so incredibly much to the donor @lcksndkys​ for donating and commissioning this, you are an absolute angel, I hope you know that. I might’ve gotten a bit carried away and wrote a few thousand more words than planned, but you deserve it. 

“Morning,” 

“Morning.” Was the greeting between you and Jungkook every morning when you stepped into the elevator, coffee in hand.

That was it, that was all you ever said to each other anymore. His smell always floated around the confined space making your mind flashback to what once was before you quickly pushed it away from your brain.

Neither of you ever said anything about it, it was like it had never even happened and sometimes you wonder if it even had or if your brain had made up everything that had happened eight months ago from your frequent dirty thoughts of your coworker. It felt like a lifetime ago. The familiarity of him, his smell, his smile, his voice along with the cold distance, avoidance to even look at you, and the constant wonder of him having someone else made you a little sick at your stomach.

You had decided to break things off… as if either of you were any more than fuck buddies. You knew that if anyone at work had ever found out about the two of you, you’d most likely both be fired. No banging other employees was a pretty strict policy there and you remembered the two nice ladies that were fired last year for it, you remembered it because your boss had made such an example of it.

You had been more than paranoid when you and Jungkook were boning for a whole month, you both had been so secretive even going as far as to have each other park down the street from your houses when the other came over. It didn’t help that you lived with your sister and didn’t want her to know you were sneaking someone in the house and screwing them. It also didn’t help that his roommate worked there too and didn’t get along at times. It didn’t seem like all the effort to sneak around was worth it at the time, but now you felt like you had a mistake.

As you took your seat behind the reception desk and began to put away your things for the morning, you just kept stealing glimpses of him doing the same at his cubicle. Every morning he would put his black messenger bag under his desk, turn on his computer, and roll the sleeves of his white button-up shirt up to reveal one very tattooed arm. His wavy hair was usually put back into a half ponytail for professionalism and probably so he could see, but there were always strands that managed to escape his hair elastic throughout the day. It was painful mentally at times having a view of him but trying not to look, it was painful knowing he wouldn’t look back at you anymore. You could still feel what it was like when he had glanced at you and smiled at you, your heart sped up at just the thought. 

“Ugh why are you always here so early, you leave before I even wake up.” his roommate,Jimin, had walked in, looking great as usual but a bit tired in the face. He was lingering around Jungkook’s desk with his things still in hand.

“I like to be prepared, unlike you.” Jungkook joked back with a smile but you knew it was just more than a joke, Jungkook really didn't care for Jimin, he was a bit too spiteful towards him sometimes.

He had always come in early, you both were typically the first ones here besides the janitor. You had to be, your boss liked you here nice and early to greet everyone as they walked in.

“You coming to the thing tonight? The boss is letting us have booze.” Jimin asked him.

You felt like you really shouldn’t be paying attention to the conversation so you went back to sipping your coffee and getting ready to start the day.

“Hey.”

It nearly scared you to death as you rummaged through your bag under the desk for your chapstick. Your body jolted up to see Jimin leaning one arm on the reception counter.

“What?” you asked in confusion, wondering what he was now doing hanging around you with such a sly smirk.

“Well good morning to you too. Are you going to the party tonight? Boss is having a thing to celebrate meeting our yearly product sales goal.”

“I… haven’t thought about it, why?” you were honest, it didn’t mean anything to you.

“I know we have this policy, but you should think about going with me.” he gave you a wink that made you raise your eyebrows in surprise. “We could come here and have a few drinks and a good time, then we could go back to my place and-”

“How about we don’t? We could just not do that.” you gave him a very fake smile.

Sudden loud coughing erupted through the room making you both look over at the source.

Jungkook was doubled over with his coffee still in his hand.

“You good?” Jimin asked him casually and Jungkook gave a thumbs up to show he was fine, even though his big eyes were slightly teary before holding up his coffee cup to signify he had strangled on his coffee.

“Anyway, if you’re worried about someone saying something about us, you could just come separately and we could just see what happens…”

“I’m not worried because there is no us, Jimin. I’ll come, but let’s not see what happens, and let’s not even speak.” 

“Your loss. At least I’ll have Jungkook there with me.” Jimin responded along with a shrug to your savage words before walking away.

You looked over to Jungkook to make sure he hadn’t died because he was no longer choking, you just wanted to make sure he was still breathing but your eyes were met with his. He was giving you this gaze before he raised his eyebrows at you with a slight momentary smirk, it all only lasted less than a split second before he adjusted his black tie and turned back around to face his desk. 

How could he be so casual with a look like that at you? How could he be so casual with everything that had happened between you? You had no idea what that look was about but it had your brain so frazzled. It could’ve been nothing, but it was the most interaction you’ve had with him in so long, all it had done was remind you how starved for him you were.

You looked down at your desk feeling your face get a little warm.

Images of that very shirt he was wearing right now, being unbuttoned rapidly with those tattooed fingers in some dark, sketchy hotel room ran through your mind. 

“I wish you knew how much I’d go through to be this close to you, to be inside of you.” The memory of his words and hushed voice into your skin gave you goosebumps.

The same man who had said that now sat right over there, not even having tried to flirt with you in the past eight months as you sat here and wondered why you do this to yourself. 

Did he still feel that way or had he just meant it at the moment? There were plenty at the moment things that he had said that would flood into your mind just to hurt you when you saw him.

You glanced at him throughout the day as you often did.

You avoided each other on your lunch break, stepping around each other to get to the vending machines in the break room.

You ate at your desk alone while he ate with Jimin in the break room.

Things were the same as they had been, the look he had given you earlier meant nothing, maybe nothing that had happened in the past meant nothing to him too.

Maybe it was all just fun like you both had planned for it to be, if so, why were you still so stuck on it? Why were you stuck on him? You told yourself it was just because he was attractive, the most gorgeous man in the office, but there were just these little things about him you couldn’t get over. The way he stretched and grunted in the morning, you knew the way he liked his coffee, you knew his parents’ names. You had both shared so much of your lives for an entire month almost constantly until you ripped it away from yourself so stupidly. You had both agreed to delete each other’s numbers, but the truth was, you still kept his name in your phone with little hearts by his name. You needed this to end, you needed to stop being so hung up on him because he wasn’t with you. You decided to go to this thing tonight and at least hope for some answers, if you failed to get any you would do your best to stop thinking about him.

------------------ 

You had talked yourself out of this more than five times already, but you had gotten dressed and ready and made the drive over.

You now sat in the office parking lot just picking lint off of your black dress, not looking forward to how awkward this might be. In your years of working there, you had mostly just kept to yourself… until the thing with Jungkook happened.

“Are you nervous? You look nervous” he gave you a little smile from across the table from the coffee shop. He had asked you to get coffee after work and he could see right through you

“A little.” You had admitted.

“Don’t be shy, it’s just me. It’s just Jungkook, we work together every day.”

“Don’t be nervous.” You found yourself saying out loud to yourself as you gazed out your windshield at the building. “I shouldn’t be. I work with him every day and nothings going to happen anyway.” You hurt yourself a little with the last part. You put a lot more care into how you looked tonight than you wanted to admit.

“It’s just a stupid office party,” you grumbled to yourself before unbuckling your seatbelt and getting out of the car, if it was horrible or boring then you could just go home.

-----

You didn’t know what you had expected, but it wasn’t this. You had followed the signs to the floor that had held a large meeting room, but it didn’t look like a meeting room now.

It was just a room full of people with a snack table and alcohol. The room was dimmed but there were some cheap party effects lighting things happening. People were laughing and talking over some pop music that wasn’t eardrum-bustlingly loud but you still had to strain to hear over. You spotted a lot of coworkers you saw every day, more that you didn’t know from different departments though. You kind of just went and stood by a wall with your eyes searching faces, not stopping too long on any just in case they might think you were staring at them. Before you had left you wondered if you had been too dressed up, but now you were glad for your little black dress as you saw what the others were wearing. Everyone looked so nice and not at all what you were used to them wearing. 

While your eyes were going over who was talking to who, you found him.

In the corner of the room on the opposite end, talking to some girl you had only seen a handful of times. She was touching her hair and smiling at him. He looked so dressed down in his ripped black jeans and a black t-shirt. His tattoos were freed as you had always liked seeing and his hair wasn’t being held back. You had seen him like this multiple times, but had anyone else? He had always looked so good like this, so himself. 

Just seeing his hair down reminded you of all the times you had grabbed at it while moaning his name. Seeing him in those black ripped jeans reminded you of all the times he has made you ride his chiseled, hard thighs until you came multiple times. 

You felt like you had been kicked in the heart as your brain went back to the present moment and saw her placing a hand on his shoulder.

He laughed at something she had said but took a step back out of her grasp smoothly before giving her a small wave. A few more words were exchanged before she apprehensively walked away from him, heaving him alone to stand at the wall on the other side of the room.

Your eyes darted away from him and over to the snack and drink table, you weren’t planning on getting any, but you wanted to make it look that way.

You felt nervous, he looked good and at least one other person had noticed. You told yourself that the lady who had just spoken to him didn’t know him as you did, she probably just saw a hot guy dressed in black with tattoos… just like you had when you both had started whatever happened. He was more than all of that, to you especially now after you had a lot of time to think about it all.

Although you didn’t want your eyes to, they had darted to him for a split second to see he had his phone out… until he looked up from it at you.

He had seen you, he had seen you looking at him from across the room, but he didn’t react. Instead, his eyes went back down to his phone, and yours went back to the table.

Your phone buzzed in your bag and you decided to fish it out thinking it could help you look busy.

“Hey, it’s Jungkook. I see you :)”

Your heart nearly jumped out of your mouth as you read the text. 

He hadn’t deleted your number just like you hadn’t his.

You felt his eyes watching you but you didn’t look up. He was waiting for your reply, but you just stood there dumbfounded that he had just sent you a text from across the room.

“I know.” you had nervously typed different versions of this reply over and over only to erase each time before settling on the most simple reply.

“You look good.” it had taken him no time to reply in comparison to you. You stood there in shock and lost as to what to say to him. You were taking too long because he sent a second text.

“I know that dress. I remember it.”

You had been hoping he would. You had worn this dress on the first night you both had ever done anything. You made out in his car after your coffee date. He had just kept telling you how pretty you looked even with his hand in your underwear. It was hard to resist him from even the first date, you had no idea how you had made it eight months now.

“You look nice too, you always have.” You typed and sent it quickly before you could change your mind.

You watched him run his inked fingers through his hair as he read the text. You could swear you saw a flash of a smile on his face before his thumbs went to work on his phone.

“I miss you.” Popped up on your screen.

Part of you felt like crying a little. You felt his eyes on you once again and you looked up away from your phone to see that your feeling had been correct. You were sure your mouth was open as you locked eyes from across the room. Your phone vibrated again in your hand.

“We should talk.”

“Hey, gorgeous!” Jimin stepped in front of you making you lock your phone. “I know you said let’s not talk but-“

“Then why are you talking to me?”

“How could I not? You’re the prettiest one here.” He smirked but you could smell the alcohol on his breath. You couldn’t help the roll of your eyes.

“Oh hey! I’ve been looking for you!” Jungkook now walked up with a smile at you. “You found her for me and didn’t even know I was looking, thanks, man.” Jungkook seemed to be thanking an equally confused as you Jimin.

“Sorry to bother you about work stuff at a party, but I forgot to earlier. I need the contact info to a client I’ve been working on to sell more products to. It’s wild, it’s like I went to the bathroom one day and the info to this big buyer just kinda… disappeared I guess. So weird, almost like someone has it out for me.” Jungkook gave the fakest joking laugh you had ever seen and Jimin looked a bit wide-eyed. “Anyway, You’re the receptionist so I know you have the contact info for everyone anyway so I was wondering if you could maybe help me out and get it for me? It’s kind of really important and I need it ASAP. Already asked the boss and he said it was cool.” 

Jimin had just kind of slinked off silently, but you knew what Jungkook was doing.

“Yeah, Uh of course.” You nodded.

He tilted his head in the direction of the door before you followed him out.

He led you towards the elevator in absolute silence and even as he pushed the button for the floor you both worked on he said nothing.

You were beginning to think he was wanting your help. And then you thought about it more in the silent ride and you felt so stupid. Of course he was wanting your help, he had never said he actually didn’t, not even when Jimin had walked away.

“I can’t believe that asshole sabotaged me like that. My roommate sabotaged my sale.” He mumbled before scoffing as the elevator door opened.

“I-I’ll help.” You said but he passed right by your desk.

“I’m glad you said that.” He replied as he walked over to Jimin’s cubicle.

“What are we doing?” You finally asked.

“Depends…” he raised an eyebrow as he looked back at you. “What do you want me to do?” 

You swallowed the lump of nervousness in your throat to speak as you looked into his mischievous-looking dark eyes.

“Whatever you want I guess.”

He lifted you in almost an instant and sat you on Jimin’s desk.

“You know he’s always liked you, right? He would tell on us if he ever found out. You were willing to risk it, right here right now?” He dared.

Instead of speaking you grabbed a fist full of his t-shirt and tugged him down until his lips met yours.

God did you want it. You have wanted for eight long months. You were willing to risk everything after so long without his lips on yours.

You were still nervous but his kiss brought it all back for you and how natural it felt.

“Fuck me.” You pleaded against his lips.

“You need it? Tell me you need it.” His lips moved to your neck as he ran a hand through the back of your hair.

“Ah, fuck I need it. I haven’t fucked anyone since you.” It slipped out of your mouth and got a second your body went rigid.

“Me neither.” He nipped at your neck.

The second thing he had done tonight that had stunned you.

“Wait.” You stopped him and he backed up to look at you.

“I missed you too. Not just… not just this, I missed you. I don’t know if you feel the same but-“

“What did you think I meant by I missed you? I didn’t just mean the sex or your body. I meant you as a person.” 

“I-why didn’t you just say?” You wondered out loud. 

He dropped to the floor on his knees between your legs.

“Cause you dumped me.” He let out a snort “you told me to delete your number, which surprise, I didn’t. You wouldn’t look at me. Plus this went two ways you know. You didn’t contact me either.” He stated as he looked up at you while ghosting his fingers over the skin of your thighs as he spoke.

“I dumped you?” You were surprised by this news. You know neither of you had had the relationship talk before.

“I mean, I like to think we were together.”

“Then we should be again,” you decided. You were tired of wanting him and not having him and something told you that he felt the same.

“I think so too,” he whispered, inching his lips closer and closer to yours before smashing into them.

His hands squeezed at the meat of your thighs before trailing them up the sides, up under your skirt, and hooking them in your panties. Your tongues whipped together in each other’s mouths. You managed to move so that he could get your panties down, but he only pulled them to your knees. He grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to the edge of the table, so close you thought you might fall off if he wasn’t right there between your legs. 

His fingers now slowly ran from your inner thighs to your folds. As soon as he touched you, you unlocked your lips from his and let out a shaky breathed whine.

“I can tell you missed me. You're so wet for me,” he whispered so quietly just for you to hear even though no one else was in the room.

You did your best to stay quiet as his fingers teasingly and slowly ran over your clit and back down to your cunt.

He lifted his slick fingers to his mouth and you watched with a slightly open mouth as he let them slide past his lips and then out of his mouth altogether, coming out more glossy from his spit.

“I missed the way you taste”

His even more wet fingers that now teased at your pussy were making you want to grab his hand and force it to do something more. You were practically shaking under even the slightest of his touches. You were nervous for someone to walk in at any given moment and all he was doing was drawing things out and letting his fingers kill precious time playing in your folds.

“I'd love to make you cum right now with my mouth” he pressed a kiss onto your neck where his face had been camping out while his fingers tortured you. “But I know how that makes you scream and we have to be very…” another kiss to your neck “very” his fingers finally slowly slipped into your cunt “very quiet.” his whispers tapered off to quieter and quieter, so much so that your shaking breaths felt loud between the both of you.

You were doing your best not to break out into full-blown moans so that maybe if someone walked in you could play it off as just talking or something else, as long as no one heard your moans on the way up the both of you could have time to look normal. 

His fingers curled inside of you with his palm grinding down onto your clit slowly.

“Oh God.” you breathed not knowing how you were supposed to survive this. He was all you wanted for months upon months and now that you had him here, tattooed hand knuckle deep in your pussy, his lips on your skin saying nothing but filth, you felt like you couldn't even let go as much as you wanted to, but you were trying.

His hand sped up its movements as you could feel how hard he was now in his jeans against the inside of your thigh.

Your lips squeezed together but it couldn’t stop the small whimpers he forced out of you. You could hear him breathing in your ear along with the wet sounds of your pussy. You were close but so scared. Doing this out in the open was such a thrill but it also made you paranoid. 

“Cum for me. I hear the way you’re whining, you’re so close I know it. Just cum for me. Cum around my fingers, no one will know.” 

You couldn’t stop it now.

You grabbed a hold of his shirt and forced his chest harder against yours, you wanted him closer, impossibly close as you came undone, clenching around his fingers rhythmically as each wave of pleasure pulsed through your body. 

He let out a little moan at the sound and feel of you coming. 

“I missed that too.” He whispered to himself before pulling his fingers out of you slowly.

He reached between you and you felt him quickly yet nervously fiddling with his button and zipper with his hand that wasn’t soaked in your wetness.

He made a show about taking his thick, veiny cock out of his pants and rubbing your juices from his hand over it. 

In seconds he was back in your ear.

“Can I fuck your brains out?” The whisper was soft, his voice was sweet but the words themselves were as hard as his dick he still stroked in his hand.

“You're always allowed brains out.” You whispered back “just do it.” 

You felt his head run over your folds teasingly as he continued to play with you and himself.

“Do you still think about me fucking your brains out?” He asked. You could hear how much wetness had spread from you to his cock with each pump of his hand.

“Every time I need to get off.” You admitted. “So give it to me so I don’t have to keep wishing anymore.” 

He pushed into you slowly, letting out a deep sigh and throwing his head back for a moment so you could see his perfectly sculpted throat.

You missed how full he made you feel while he was inside of you. 

He pulled out almost entirely, the head of his cock was the only thing left inside of you, pushing on your g-spot before the thrust back in hard. This was the way he fucked, pulling out almost entirely so his head hit where you needed it. You had experienced guys that just flopped around, but he knew you, he knew your body, he paid attention, he had a very special handcrafted way to get you off over and over until you were shaking.

One of his hands grabbed your hip while the other went to your clit to play with using his thumb.

“You miss this, baby?” You miss my dick between your legs?” His lips brushed with your parted and panting ones as he spoke.

You let out a whimper as you focused on your second orgasm, his hips were not letting up and neither was his lips that whispered pure filth.

“Want me to cum inside of you, make you not want to forget me and who you belong to? Right here on Jimin's desk.” 

Your eyes squeezed shut and you clutched at the fabric of his shirt as you were once again thrown into pure pleasure.

You couldn’t help it this time. The way he touched you, the way he felt inside of you, his grunts and words were all too much.

“Please, fucking cum inside of me, I want it all fuck you feel so good.” You cried out way too loudly. 

“Oh my god, fuck.” He breathed through pants as his hips pounded into yours. You felt him release inside of you. Your walls clenched around him upon hearing his long deep guttural moan. 

“I haven’t cum like that in…” he panted before letting out a little chortle of laughter “well in eight months.” 

“So,” there was a loud voice in the room making your heads turn and your stomach’s sink. “You fucked on my desk.” Jimin looked beyond angry as he sat in an office chair across the room with his phone in his hand, pointing it at the both of you. You had no idea when or how he had come in, but you knew you were both beyond physically fucked.

Jungkook had already scrambled to pull out of you and zip his pants back up as you jumped off the desk, pulled your underwear up, and smoothed out your dress.

“That's fine, I have you both on video. I really liked you y/n. Jungkook, Looks like I’m moving out.” he stood from the chair and headed towards the direction of the elevator. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to speak to our boss about this. He probably won't be too happy to see you two are breaking company policy.” 

“Fuck company policy and fuck you! You were an awful friend, roommate and you've always been jealous of me!” Jungkook yelled at him back.

“Not anymore, jobless.” Jimin turned back to give Jungkook a smirk before he stepped into the elevator.

With that, you were both just left there.

“I… I am so so sorry…” Jungkook began apologetically and just as stunned as you were.

“Don’t be, we’re too good for this job anyway, we can find new ones. It looks like you need a new roommate now though.” 

You watched his face as a small smile grew on it.

“Yeah, looking for someone prettier and nicer, maybe someone willing to be my girlfriend? I don't know though, I don’t want to make too many demands.” 

“Well I could meet all of those demands.” you played along. “We won't have to sneak around anymore.”

“Yes, please, yes. I uh- don't want to ruin the cute moment, but I think we should get out of here before Jimin brings the boss up.”

“Oh fuck, right. Uhh, we should probably just never come back too. Let’s just grab our stuff from our desks and make a run for it.”

“Let's go. You know, this is simultaneously the best, worst, most exciting, and most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me,” he said and you couldn't help but laugh and agree.

Maybe the both of you had made a big mistake, but perhaps there could be good that came from it. You had him back and honestly you didn’t feel too bad about trading your dumb job with its dumb company policy for him.

[lunastwilightblog]

The Volturi are the good guys and Bella is the up-and-coming villain

I’m on my computer for this as I know it might be long, but bear with me (insert Emmett pun here) 🐻

So wait - the Volturi are the good guys? But didn’t SM write them as the bad guys? 

Well, yes, SM did write Aro and co in as the antagonists of the series, but bear in mind that originally she didn’t write most of New Moon to happen, or the entirety of Eclipse. There was Twilight and Forever Dawn, which we’ll sadly never read. Her vision of the Volturi and their role as the evil villains who wanted to separate Edward and Bella became distorted as she had to flesh them out more and show their role as the governing body.

Then she wrote the Illustrated Guide and revealed their history and the horrors of the world without their authority; with the Romanians being as brutal as they were, the constant terror humans lived with and the fracturing of the world into many unstable and violent vampire-ruled empires (plus with way more children of the moon running about, probably as far west as - at least - central Europe). 

When the Volturi were coming to power they were laughed at with the idea of their law, a significant reason the Romanians didn’t take them seriously. But now they are extremely popular.

This isn’t just because Aro created vampires to go out and sing his praises. Volturi rule has been a blessing for both humans and vampires.

For humans it’s the obvious: they are not living their lives in fear, they are not subject to massacres (except if caught in newborn warzones), their population has been able to grow and expand, modern medicine and technology have been able to flourish, society is much more stable, people need to flee areas much less (if ever) so they can stay put and complete research/live to meet their grandkids/etc, and not have to serve a vampire in the local castle. 

For vampires it’s actually quite similar: with the human population growing to as large as it is today when at the time the Volturi came to power it was (estimated to be) only 210 million globally, vampires have been able to grow to even greater numbers also, and feed more often than before. If a vampire 2000 years ago killed 5 people in a town it would be an outrage the humans would certainly have noticed, however kill 5 people in a place as big as London, LA, Paris, Singapore, Bucharest... it would likely not be noticed very much, if at all (depending on who you kill).  

Humans like to measure things in percentages. Those 5 people is a huge number to a town of 2000 - that’s 0.25% of the whole town’s population. It would be talked about, and relatives of the dead/missing would all know each other. Yet kill those 5 in a city of 12 million (as is London), that’s only 0.00004167% of the population. And chances are, the dead humans’ families don’t even live in the area (or could be in another country entirely) never mind know each other to realise there was a mass murder.

So vampires, as long as they hide from humans, as is the only law (besides no immortal children or consorting with werewolves), they have a lot more freedom nowadays than they did before the times of the Volturi. There are so many people that they can easily get lost in a crowd, move internationally, and not be pressured for allegiance by a local vampire warlord (before meeting Aro, Caius ran afoul of the Romanians, and he barely escaped with his life).

With there only being one authority, and one that does not interfere with your day-to-day life, is a dream come true. As long as they don’t break this law that is very easy to abide by, they can do whatever the f*** they want.

Carlisle would have never been able to get a job as a doctor if he was known to be a vampire, nor could any of the Cullens have entered education of any form. They’d be stuck sneaking into libraries after closing, and googling. Edward would have never met Bella (neither would Edward’s ancestors have immigrated to America - in fact, Europeans may have never discovered America in the first place. The whole Cullen coven aside from Carlisle might never have been born).

So what the Volturi have done (despite many of them having not-so-savoury personalities corrupted by hunger for power or violence) is bring peace to the world, get rid of tyrants, increase the food supply, allow a greater amount of freedom, and the first kind of trials and justice ever seen in their world. Sure, Aro uses trials to find new talent, but it’s still a world away from before.

Which leads me on to the events of Breaking Dawn, and Bella.

So. Maybe controversial, but: the Volturi did absolutely nothing wrong in Breaking Dawn.

They turned up thinking a serious crime had been committed. They stopped to talk (which Vladimir certainly never would have done!), considered the evidence and processed new discoveries and discussed their legality, decided there was no crime to punish, and left with only the informant dead. Yes, Irina had been innocent in the way that she strongly had believed she had been telling the truth and her memories must have presented good enough evidence to Aro initially, but their witnesses had come to see justice being served, and in the vampire world that is execution. Aro could have continued with prosecuting the Cullens for something he now knew was false, or execute Irina instead.

(Side note: she did kind of deserve it too. She didn’t bother to check her evidence, she wanted revenge for Laurent’s death so her accusation wasn’t coming from a place of good intentions but instead she was willing to have her friends and family killed for Laurent. She was also forcing Aro into a position where he had to prepare himself to kill Carlisle, whom we know he cherishes. Remember also that Aro turned down Laurent’s application to the Guard because he’d followed the Romanians for a while, so he won’t have been entirely trusting of Irina anyway, her having been Laurent’s mate).

Anyway. Onto Bella.

So Aro’s impression of Bella after New Moon seems to be positive. Why? Well, through Edward’s thoughts he saw that Bella was able to keep The Secret. He had heard how much she wanted to be a vampire. In addition, Marcus showed him how strong Edward and Bella’s bond is. Both of them knew, that if E & B’s love was almost as strong as Marcus and Didyme’s, that no matter what Edward currently said or thought about Bella being turned it was invalid. If Bella were dying, he would turn her for sure, which happened. Then the obvious, that Edward had already proven he could not live without her.

Bella was trustworthy and probably going to be turned. Alice showing proof was just a formality so Aro could say he had evidence rather than admit he’d just made assumptions (and Alice having had that vision may act as proof that his assumption was correct).

Therefore, from Aro’s perspective, Bella was a human who wanted to become immortal so much that she would rather die than not, and she was already following his law. She was no issue. 

Yet.

Bella, knowing the law, should have been very grateful that she was left alive. Edward not being executed and she not being killed or forcibly turned on the spot... Aro had been very nice to them.

And again, in BD, he was very nice to them. Some people will inevitably say that he was weak in not killing them all. I mean, they stood beside Vladimir and Stefan! They have an army of wolves fundamentally opposed to vampires! Aro has lost Good Reputation Points by sparing the Cullens. He held as close to a trial as vampire society has ever had, and rightfully pronounced the Cullens innocent.

So shouldn’t Bella like him? He has spared her life and the lives of her loved ones more than one, and proven that he can be spoken to and conversed with properly and is willing to admit he was wrong. With Aro, we know it’s important to look more at what he does than what he says, and what he has done is be very kind to the Cullens (though who knows about the future?).

Yet Bella was creeped out by him when they met and interpreted him as a threat to Edward’s life. As she loves Edward, she’s always going to be of this mind, and first impressions are important.

Vampires are stuck with the mindsets they had when turned. An example of this is Esme, who was turned after her baby died and she tried to die too. She is permanently feeling maternal. She was turned only days after giving birth. Before knowing this, Bella even describes her as maternal and the mother of the family. Huilen also has a lot of care for Nahuel, being his aunt, because of her love for Pire, and while she was dying, Pire begged Huilen to raise him. Joham does not seem to have this parental love for his son and daughters; he never really knew Pire and was never affected by her love for Nahuel, and did not meet him until years after he was born. He’s only genetically a parent. He doesn’t have the protective mindset. When he was turned, he was a curious scientist (in fact, it was even why his creator turned him). He sees the world and people as things to study.

Anyway.

When Bella was turned, all she was thinking about was Renesmee. She begged Edward to get the baby out and didn’t care for her own life.

And she will be forever stuck in this high alert, must-protect-my-baby mode. Then for weeks as a newborn vampire, she was thinking of Aro as a threat and preparing to fight him. Compounding that, he was a threat to her daughter.

Both of these things will have had a significant effect on who she will have become after her newborn phase ended. It is impossible for Bella to ever like Aro now, even if she tried.

Her dislike of him, and willingness to fight against him, will be forever engrained in her brain.

This is dangerous.

Bella found the Romanians weird, but she didn’t dislike them per se. She would probably be willing to stand with them against the Volturi again.

We can take an educated guess and assume that sometime they will rise up again - and Bella might stand with them (though I highly doubt any of the other Cullens would).

Bella was not a problem for Aro until she stood beside Vladimir and Stefan. 

Here is this vampire who can block most of his coven’s gifts, stuck with an intense dislike of him, who he has seen with his own eyes stand with his enemies. He has every right to be nervous now. Her love for her mate is almost as strong as Marcus’s bond to Didyme - how strong is her bond to Renesmee? Likely more. Aro knows the threat in that. He knows that Bella may be viewing him in the way Marcus feels when he thinks of taking revenge on whoever killed Didyme.

Nobody wants the Romanians back in power. Those who lived under their reign and those who have heard first hand stories told to them all know very well that life under Vladimir would be horrible, brutal, awful for all beside his close coven members (though considering he had a very large coven that was often squabbling amongst itself, it was probably miserable for a lot of them too).

But Bella is young. She has no memory of the world before the Volturi, and knows no one with first hand experience of that world other than the Volturi. She will have heard that it was horrible, but she has no emotional or personal connection to the near-ancient past, and vampires who lived during that time are disappearing. No one lives forever.

Then, she is American. Like Garrett, she values freedom, and the Volturi are the only oppressive vampire force either of them has ever known. Despite them being the least oppressive in vampire history, Bella and Garrett haven’t experienced the alternative. They are a government that is at times harsh, is corrupt, and executes people. They go to war and they obliterate their enemies. Bella doesn’t see that the Volturi is the least bad government her world is ever going to get, and that they’ve granted her so much freedom. She is unable to see that because, in her youth, she has nothing to compare them against.

By standing against the Volturi, Bella isn’t just standing against Aro, Caius, and Marcus. She is standing against the peace they have brought between vampires, against humans living without fear, against modern civilisation itself. She stands a representative of the next world order, and Aro can sense it.

[whoiwanttoday]

Hey guys, here is some Shirley Manson for today because Garbage has re-released their first two records on Vinyl, a thing I am quite thankful for and I have been playing them a bunch this week and it's a reminder that boy, Shirley Mason sure is sexy as fuck. And yeah, I know, these are a bunch of pictures of her from the 90's mostly (Oh my god, I complain sometimes about how hard it is to find pictures of some people now, can you imagine the 90's. Like only 5 pictures existed of any one person in the entire world. It would have sucked to run this blog then. Also no tumblr and dial up would have taken 3 days to upload each day's post) but that isn't some statement on modern day Shirley Manson, it's more that this is the Shirley Manson that exists in my head cause 90's Shirley Manson is the one I had a massive... well not crush. What's the word for a thing that's like a crush but it's just overwhelming lust? That one. I just wanted to clear that up so this doesn't seem like I am claiming she peeked in the 90's or something, that's not a thing I want to put on anyone. Trust me, I know, I peeked at like 3 or 4 and it's all downhill from there and boy, the disappointment tinged comments of, "You were such a cute kid," can really cut you down. Anyway, Shirley Manson was at one point, and maybe even until today but I don't have official ranking anywhere, the sexiest person I ever saw in real life. I typed met but I didn't meet her, I stood awkwardly backstage and did not have the courage to even look at her other than out of the corner of my eye cause... fuck, I dunno, she was intimidating as fuck guys. And the whole thing was weird cause she was talking to this DJ that now that I am an adult I realize was almost definitely a pedophile (to clear that up it wasn't directed at me. They found child porn on his computer later and the whole reason we were backstage was this 40 year old dudes was very good friends with my friend who was a model and was underage and they became friends when he met her while she was modeling at 13 and like, I don't just throw accusations out but they did find child porn and boy it sure does make everything else add up. But to my knowledge he did nothing to her and we got free tickets and I got to awkwardly look at my feet around Shirley Manson so... win?) and he was acting like they were friends but also now I know absolutely she was not friends with a local DJ. Anyway, I wrote hottest at first but it didn't really convey the entire "thing" about Shirley Mason, which is she was sexy beyond words. It wasn't how she looked, though obviously she looks good, she just oozed something that made me very uncomfortable as a kid. Uncomfortable in a mostly good way but also a way that meant had she said one word to me I might have accidentally swallowed my own tongue and died right there. Which is why it's good she didn't come over and talk to me, a thing that otherwise I am sure was a real possibility, Shirley Manson really wanted to pick out that awkward kid backstage to have a conversation with but she didn't and it saved my life. Shirley Manson saved my life is what I am realizing. So I am glad I bought her records again, I owed her. Today I want to fuck Shirley Manson.

[theoswriting]

lavender, honey and coconut (e.p. x fem!r)

summary:  Penelope Garcia can sniff out secrets like a cute security dog can sniff out drugs. y/n had been amused but had brushed off the warning. That had been her first mistake.

pairing: emily prentiss x fem!reader

word count: 4k

a/n: okay, this is my first time writing for cm and emily prentiss, so I hope it isn’t too ooc! this is definitely a different vibe to the show lmao, i mostly wrote this to amuse myself, and then decided it might be worth sharing. I hope you’lll enjoy it xo (tell me if u do, i’m nervous)

warnings: some alcohol is consumed, light swearing

ao3

Penelope Garcia can sniff out secrets like a cute security dog can sniff out drugs.

It's a well-known fact that if you want to keep something hidden, one, you don't tell Garcia because she's incapable of keeping anything secret and two, don't breathe near her because she will be able to figure out that you're hiding something, and she will know which buttons to push to get you to spill everything.

Penelope likes to think that in another life, she would've made a great interrogator. In this life though, she uses her powers to get what she wants out of her friends.

This was one of the first things y/n found out when she joined the BAU. Derek spoke about the tech goddess' powers with reverence while the rest of them spoke of it with fear. Even Hotch seemed a little disconcerted by the whole thing.

y/n had been amused but had brushed off the warning.

That had been her first mistake.

***

Paperwork days were the worst.

y/n should probably love them more because if she's stuck behind her desk, it means that no one is out there getting brutally murdered. Still, it's a lot less exciting. It doesn't help that the bullpen is oddly quiet, everyone focused on their files. Spencer is going through his about a mile a minute, stopping from time to time to rewrite something or to look up some kind of information. Derek is slower and y/n can almost see the boredom oozing out of him. Yet, he doesn't look up when she looks over at him and keeps diligently going through his notes.

Finally, her eyes land on Emily. Her head is propped up on her left hand as she writes with the right. Occasionally, she will bite her nails as she focuses hard on part of her notes. y/n thinks she looks extra cute when she frowns, trying to understand her own writing. It makes y/n smile before refocusing on her own work.

y/n is almost done with one of her reports when she notices some missing information. She could easily look it up herself, but she's bored and this is the perfect excuse to get away from her desk for a bit. So she stands up, gathers her papers and walks to her favourite tech genius' lair.

y/n opens the door and sees Penelope's back turned to her. Before she can say anything, Garcia's voice rings out.

"Well if it isn't my favourite ray of sunshine, what can I do for you, y/n?"

y/n smiles at the blonde's greeting, as she sits down next to her, "Are you busy?"

"Not at all!"

"Great, I'm missing some information on this file, but most importantly, I'm in dire need of entertainment."

Garcia happily grabs the file from y/n and starts tapping away at her computer, putting up the information she needs on her screen in no time. She prints it all out and hands it to y/n with a flourish.

"Here's the info you need," She starts, but her eyes quickly turn regretful, "Sadly, I have no recent office gossip to entertain you with."

y/n pouts at that, "Damn, not even from Slutty David?"

Penelope shakes her head and opens her mouth to speak when she suddenly frowns at y/n. She pulls back slightly and y/n wonders if she'd forgotten to put on deodorant that morning. Penelope says nothing, just watches her.

"What?" y/n finally asks, unnerved by the staring.

"What are you not telling me?" Garcia asks simply and it's y/n's turn to frown. She can't think of anything that she might be hiding from her friend.

"Nothing?"

y/n is pretty sure that's the wrong answer and that Penelope is going to keep asking her questions until she confesses to something she didn't even know she was hiding. To her surprise though, Garcia only stares at her for a few more seconds before dropping it. As quick as it disappeared, her bright smile is back on her face and she goes back to telling a story.

It turns out that yes, she did have something to tell y/n about Slutty David.

y/n leaves Penelope about twenty minutes later with a refreshed brain, ready to get back to work. When she gets back to her desk, Emily looks up to give her a smile. y/n smiles back and winks at her as she sits down. Emily's smile broadens before she turns her focus back to the file in front of her.

y/n does the same, her smile staying even while going through an autopsy report. It's only hours later when y/n is almost done with paperwork that she freezes. She looks up at Emily and realizes.

That's what she's been hiding.

She frowns. There's no way Garcia knows that though, she and Emily have made sure, they've been careful.

Yeah, it was probably a fluke.

***

Mornings where she gets to wake up next to Emily are y/n's favourites. Even the early ones, when they get called in for a case, having Emily next to her makes it all easier.

That's what happens that morning, both of their phones going off at 5:45 am. Emily is the one to reach for her phone while y/n latches onto her and drops a kiss on her girlfriend's shoulder.

"It's JJ. We have to go in."

y/n nods and painstakingly opens her eyes. She drops another kiss on Emily's shoulder and turns away from her to get up, but before she can go too far, Emily reaches for her and kisses her. y/n scrunches up her nose even though she's smiling into the kiss.

"Morning breath. Gross," She manages to mutter against Emily's lips.

"Don't care."

y/n had wondered when they started dating if it would get to a point where it'd be too much to be together and then work together as well. Now, six months into their relationship, y/n knows she had worried over nothing. They have a system and boundaries. They keep the PDA to a minimum at work, which isn't a problem considering they had decided to keep their relationship a secret from the team. It's not that Prentiss and y/l/n don't trust their coworkers, it's more than they don't want to screw up the group's dynamics.

And it's also ridiculously funny to see how long it's taking a whole group of profilers to figure out that two members of their team are dating.

After getting dressed, y/n starts packing a new bag, taking clothes from the one drawer Emily had emptied out and gifted to her on their 2 months anniversary. Emily had a similar one at y/n's place. Considering their jobs and the amount of time they spent at each other's place, they figured it was smart to always have enough clothes at each other's place for instances like these.

Not even 10 minutes later, they're out of the door. They kiss one last time before Emily gets into her car and y/n gets into hers. As usual, y/n takes the long way to work, her place being famously further away than Emily's. So when she finally gets to the conference room, everyone is already there and waiting for Hotch.

y/n sits in between Derek and Spencer, "Good morning, my people!"

"It certainly is not," Hotch deadpans as he enters the room. y/n closes her mouth and nods to herself. She should've seen that one coming.

The others chuckle quietly, but the laughter quickly dies. Hotch was right. This is far from a good morning.

The murders are gruesome, the victims are all women which bear a striking resemblance to Emily. y/n doesn't bring attention to it, it wouldn't bring anything to the case except worry over a detail that isn't of much importance, at least not right now. Instead, she watches her girlfriend look at the pictures, and by the way her jaw clenches and unclenches repeatedly, she's come to the same realization.

"Alright everyone, wheels up in 20." Hotch dismisses them, and almost everyone rushes out of the room to get their bags. Garcia stays behind though, and so does Emily. y/n gathers her stuff slowly then, waiting for Garcia to leave the room so she can have a moment alone with her girlfriend.

Garcia doesn't leave, though.

She's staring at y/n ominously. She's missing a furry cat to be petting and she'd look like a supervillain from a cheesy action movie. y/n tries smiling at her, but the blonde doesn't respond in the slightest.

y/n leaves the room. She'll check up on Emily before take-off. She is big enough to admit that she was a little freaked out by Garcia.

She thinks nothing of it until hours later, when she's setting up their evidence board in a small town in buttfuck, Texas. JJ is standing next to her, writing the name of the second victim.

"Garcia has been asking about you."

It's such a weird thing to say that y/n is a bit taken aback. She pauses and slowly turns to look at JJ, "Uhm… Okay?"

JJ puts the cap on the pen and turns to y/n, her face probably too serious for whatever this is about.

"Remember when we told you about Garcia's weird ability to tell when someone is hiding something juicy?" y/n nods, still confused as to where this is going, "Well, she's smelt whatever it is that you're hiding."

y/n briefly wonders if no one is bothered by the constant comparison of Garcia to a literal hound dog, but apparently not. She lets out a small chuckle and nods at JJ, clearly not believing the warning tone the blonde had used, "Yeah, okay, I'll sleep with one eye open."

"y/n, I'm serious," JJ lowers her voice and looks around before confiding, "Penelope is the reason the whole team knows I had a one night stand with Slutty David."

"You had sex with Slutty David?"

JJ shudders, "Everybody makes mistakes."

***

y/n tells Emily about JJ's warning as they cuddle into bed that same night, exhausted from a day of leads getting them nowhere. To her surprise, Emily agrees with JJ.

"Garcia has a way of getting you to admit to things you thought you'd never say out loud."

The way she talks about it has y/n looking up from her very comfortable spot on Emily's shoulder to her girlfriend's face. She's staring off in the distance as if haunted by whatever it is that Garcia had dug up on her.

"What the hell did she find out about you?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

***

"So, are you seeing anyone?"

It's Saturday night and they're out at a club for a Girl's night. After the case they'd had, they deserved a night to unwind. They've chosen a bar where the music is loud, but not loud enough to drown out Penelope's question. JJ and Emily are gone, lost somewhere in the crowd fighting for the bartender's attention, in search of more drinks. As y/n's brain finally processes what Garcia has just asked, she fights the urge to smile and look for Emily.

y/n has drunk enough to be on the dumb side of gay.

"Why do you ask?"

"Answering a question with another question, very telling," Garcia smirks.

Penelope seems oddly composed for someone who is two cocktails and three shots deep into the party. Usually, a drunk Garcia means sloppy kisses on the cheek and getting her away from attractive strangers before she can say anything overtly sexual or inappropriate. So something doesn't add up. y/n squints her eyes at the blonde in front of her, like that will somehow help her see things clearer.

It doesn't. Everything looks fuzzy and she probably should stop drinking.

"I'm not."

The lie tastes gross in y/n's mouth and if there's one thing that could make her feel better, it would be kissing Emily. Before she can stop it, a smitten smile makes its way onto her face. Garcia slams a hand on the table, making y/n jump. She focuses her eyes on Penelope who's pointing an accusing finger at her.

"There! Who did you just think about?"

y/n sputters, racking her brain for a more convincing lie but she can't stop smiling so she gives in. Damn her inability to lie when she's drunk.

"Okay, fine" y/n amends, "I am seeing someone, but please keep it quiet."

Penelope obviously does not keep quiet. Instead, she squeals loud enough that she startles a few people passing by their table. Of course, that's also the moment JJ and Emily pick to come back.

So when Garcia basically yells, "I knew it!" for the whole bar to hear, there's no way y/n is getting out of this one.

"Knew what?" Emily asks with a smile as she puts down a drink in front of y/n. She immediately grabs it, thinking that maybe if she blacks out, this conversation will also be erased from the history of the universe.

"y/n is seeing someone!" Penelope happily informs the two recently arrived. JJ whips her head, excitement filling her eyes, about a million questions fighting to be asked first. Emily, for her part, chokes on her drink.

"Why haven't you told us anything?" JJ says, her blue eyes even more glassy than usual, "Who is it?"

y/n shrugs, going for a nonchalant vibe. She goes with something vague.

"You don't know her."

Penelope's smile widens, "Oh, so it's a her."

Shit. Not vague enough.

What follows are a series of questions that y/n refuses to answer and thankfully, with Emily there to mediate, they manage to change the subject. Seriously, y/n could kiss her right then and there. Instead, she takes a sip of her drink and glances towards Emily. They decide to leave less than an hour later. JJ is about one sip away from taking her top off while y/n is just about ready to throw caution to the wind and start making out with Emily. To hell with consequences.

Penelope is still suspiciously acting sane.

"Oh, Pen, be careful, someone dropped their drinks right behind your chair."

JJ's heads up makes y/n glare at Garcia who looks a little too guilty.

***

When they get back to Emily's place, y/n barely waits until the front door is closed before kissing Emily. Emily welcomes it, blindly throwing away the keys to wrap both hands around her girlfriend's neck. The kissing is sweet, the taste of their last drinks still sticking to their mouths. It's a little messy due to the fact they're both smiling like two goddamn idiots in love. When they stop, Emily grabs y/n by the hand and drags her to the kitchen so they can both drink water to make their hangovers hopefully less painful in the morning.

They're almost done when Emily speaks.

"We have a problem."

y/n stops moving. She should've known this moment would come.

"Listen, if this is about the burnt toaster, I've already ordered a new one."

"Garcia- What?" Emily turns around to look at the spot where her toaster usually rests, "What happened?"

Realizing her mistake, y/n puts her empty glass of water down and wraps her arms around Emily's waist, "Nothing you need to worry about," Emily looks back at her girlfriend who looks too innocent, "What were you going to say?"

"Garcia knows you're with someone."

y/n nods slowly, wondering where Emily is going with this. She doesn't see any problems. Sure, Penelope knows that she might be sort of taken by a woman, but that's it. Even in her drunken state, she'd managed to keep any other incriminating details to herself.

"Garcia has a way of finding things out, it's only a matter of time until she puts two and two together."

Emily looks genuinely fearful and y/n wonders again, what kind of dirt Penelope had gotten Emily to disclose. She thinks back to JJ's warning as well. y/n turns it over in her head, but in the end, she scoffs and leans up to kiss Emily.

"Don't worry, babe. I'll make up a fake break up or something and we'll be fine."

Thinking she could fool Penelope Garcia so easily was y/n's second mistake.

***

Derek is getting himself coffee when y/n swiftly approaches him from the side.

"What secret did Garcia get out of Emily?"

"Which time?"

"There's more than one?"

"Oh yeah."

***

The whole thing with Garcia does make y/n and Emily reconsider telling the team, or at the very least, Hotch and HR.

They hadn't at first because of team dynamics, but mostly because they themselves were figuring out how they worked as a couple. It turns out they worked great, and hiding each other from their coworkers and best friends was getting a bit much for the both of them.

They wanted to show up at Rossi's dinner parties together without worrying about what their friends would think. y/n wanted to hold Emily's hand after a rough case on the jet without it being questioned, just as much as Emily wanted to drive with y/n to work every morning and walk into the building together.

So the next morning, Emily and y/n get to work before anyone else and walk into Hotch's office.

He doesn't have much of a reaction, not that they were expecting anything more.

What does surprise them is that, after giving them the whole speech about professionalism and whatnot, he smiles at them and says, "I'm happy for you both."

Aaron Hotchner smiles at them and y/n feels like her relationship has just been blessed by the angels from above.

***

"Hey, Spence? Do you know what Garcia dug up on Emily?"

"Emily sprained her wrist a few years back and told us that it had happened at the range. It turns out that she'd sprained it falling from her skateboard."

"Her skate- What?"

***

When y/n had told Emily they'd be fine, she wasn't being cocky, but she just knew that there was no way Garcia would suspect something with how careful they had been.

They never showed up together at work. At first, they always timed their arrivals carefully, until it became second nature. They were never overly affectionate with each other. If they needed to be comforted during a particularly hard case, they'd wait to be behind the closed doors of the hotel room they shared on most trips. As much as y/n wanted to, she never showed up to work wearing one of her girlfriend's sweaters, no matter how warm and comfortable they were.

Bottom line was, there was no reason for Garcia to suspect anything when their teammates who were literal profilers hadn't caught onto anything.

No one except Hotch knew. And only because they'd told him, so.

y/n should've known though, from being a profiler herself, that being too confident meant she was bound to slip up and make a mistake sooner rather than later.

It all happens very quickly.

JJ asks y/n if she can grab a couple of files she had left with Garcia and bring them back to her because she was waiting for someone to call and she couldn't go too far. y/n, of course, accepts, always happy to get away from her desk and the paperwork begging for her attention. She quickly knocks on Garcia's door before entering and the tech doesn't turn around as she greets her.

"Bonjour, Emily, what brings you to Casa Garcia today?"

y/n chuckles at the blonde's eccentricities, "Sorry, but you got it wrong, it's me."

Penelope rolls her chair around to face her and she looks truly distraught to have gotten it wrong, "But I always get it right. I'm the all-knowing Penelope Garcia."

y/n gently pats her shoulder as she reaches past her to some files she sees on the desk, "Are these JJ's? She asked me to get them for her."

Garcia nods, but she still looks defeated at having failed to guess her visitor's identity, so y/n tells her she'll come by later with some coffee for a chat. Penelope nods and turns her attention back to her computer and so she leaves.

It's funny, y/n thinks, that of all the people Penelope could have confused her with, it was Emily. Maybe some of Emily's fears had planted themselves into her brain unbeknownst to her because y/n suddenly feels very uneasy. Why did Pen think it was Emily walking in? Had she unconsciously started walking like her girlfriend? No, no, that was ridiculous. Emily had a very distinctive gate that was very different from y/n's.

Still, something is off. y/n trusts her gut, it has never failed her, and her gut is telling her something is off.

She doesn't know what though. She had woken up with Emily that morning and they'd actually had time to enjoy a nice breakfast together and had plenty of time to get ready together. In fact, they had even gotten to enjoy a very pleasant shower together. y/n smiles at that particularly good memory until she realizes.

"Shit," she mutters, but not quietly enough. She's standing in the middle of the bullpen, her coworkers' eyes on her. Before she can tell herself that it's fine, that she was just paranoid and that there was no way Penelope had noticed, she hears a familiar but hurried clicking of heels approach the bullpen. y/n turns around to see Penelope standing on the other side of the glass window and one look at her is all y/n needs.

She knows.

Before Garcia can make her way inside the bullpen and bring mayhem with her, y/n hastily makes her way to her. She drops JJ's files on her desk haphazardly under Derek, Emily and Spencer's bewildered eyes. When she gets to Penelope, she gently grabs her by the arm and urgently leads her away.

"You smell like lavender!" Penelope exclaims with no preamble, "You usually don't smell like lavender, you smell of honey and coconut, but never lavender and that's why I got confused!"

y/n confidently nods in greeting at an agent passing by Garcia's office as y/n shoves her inside. He looks unsettled but only smiles in return, preferring to ignore whatever is going on. Smart man.

"That's why I thought you were Emily! Because Emily is the one who smells of lavender!" Penelope is pacing while y/n stands with her back to the door.

"Okay, Pen, I need you to breathe," She says when the techie is still going on about lavender, honey and coconut.

"Breathe? How can I breathe when you and Emily are dating."

y/n thinks that's a bit dramatic, but Garcia has finally stopped pacing and talking. y/n slowly steps towards the blonde and puts both of her hands on her shoulders. She debates for a few seconds, wonders if she'd get away with a lie but at this point, y/n's pretty sure the cat is out of the bag.

"Yeah, Emily and I are together."

y/n should've been prepared for it, but when Garcia lets out a high pitched squeal, it still gets her by surprise. Her pained grimace is quickly chased away by laughter when Penelope hugs her with all the strength and excitement caffeine was providing her.

"This is so great, I'm so happy for you two!" She lets you go long enough to see the smile that's made its way onto her face. It's the same smitten smile she always gets whenever she thinks about Emily and Garcia honest to god pinches her cheeks, "Aww, look at that smile!"

y/n laughs and tries to get her cheeks away from anymore pinching. That's when the door opens enough for Emily to sneak her head in, "Hey you two, is everything okay?"

She looks at Penelope first, but her eyes end on y/n. Before she can say anything though, Penelope smirks, "Why yes, lover, everything is just fine."

At that, Emily gets in and closes the door behind her. She looks at y/n for confirmation.

y/n just nods, "Yeah, she knows."

"You bet your sweet ass I know!"

And with no further warning, Penelope tackles Emily in a hug much as she'd done with y/n minutes prior. When she lets her go, Emily steps closer to y/n, and with a hand on her lower back, she says, "I told you she'd find out."

y/n ignores the I told you so her girlfriend apparently couldn't wait to give her, but yeah, she's not wrong.

It'll teach her to ever doubt the abilities of the all-knowing Penelope Garcia.

***

Months and months later, y/n meets up with Penelope for brunch on a Sunday morning. Before she can even greet her, the blonde fixes her with a stare that is both strange but oh so very familiar.

"What are you planning?"

This time, y/n grins and tells Garcia not to worry, that she'll know in due time. After all, she can only hide the little velvet box in her coat pocket and its content for so long.

***

[20moonchild21]

๛Struggling

Gif by @minyoongihoseok

Pairing: Poly!BTS x girlfriend!reader

Warnings: hardcore fluff, slight swearing

Words: 3400+

ッ

๛匕he one where she struggles with money∙ꨄ

"What do you mean, you can't pay me this month?" You asked angrily, as you drove your hands through your hair.

"I am sorry, but what should I do? Rents are high these days. If I don't pay..." Your boss tried to defended himself with the same excuses he had given you before.

"Rents are hight? Are you serious right now?" You interrupted him quickly, getting angrier with every word he said. "What do you think I pay my rent with? Paperclips and stones? I need this money or else I have to quit my apartment. We have a contract. You have to pay me, please!"

Times were hard these days. The pandemic had hit the country hard, but aftermath was even worse. Most people were still too afraid to go out onto the streets, rather staying home and shopping online for everything, which causes you a big problem.

For years you had worked in a small bakery, that was known for their extravagant pastries and specialities. The pay wasn't much, but you loved your creative job.

Seeing people smiling when they see their wedding cake for the first time, was one of the best thing coming along with you job, but with no weddings allowed, there was no one to buy those expensive cakes. And the few people buying small cupcakes wasn't enough for keeping the business alive.

Of course you knew that your boss's hands were tight, as well as yours. He had to pay his rent, but so did you.

"I am so sorry." He said again, sounding almost sad. "But I can't give you this money. We made almost zero sales this month. My pockets are empty. I already need to take my own, private money to save the shop, or else I can close next month."

You closed your eyes, as your hands were gripping the armrest of the chair you were sitting on. You weren't the type to yell or scream at people when things didn't go the way you like it, but this time, you just wished to yell out all your frustration at him.

Everything came together at this point, which made it hard for you to keep calm.

You hadn't seen your boyfriends in over 3 weeks, because they were stuck in quarantine at home after coming back from a project filming abroad.

Then, your period had started unannounced this morning, causing you a ruined trouser and cramps, along with a heavy headache.

And now it seemed like you even would be homeless next month, because you weren't able to afford your rent.

You pressed you eyes closer together, trying to hold back the swelling tears.

"Maybe you have someone who could borrow...." You boss began again, but you didn't want to head what he was about to say.

Making depts was the last thing you wanted to make. You mother had always raised you to earn your own money, and pay for the thing you want to have yourself.

Asking someone for money would lead you to asking for more and more and more, until you can't pay that someone back. The same situation you were stuck in now.

"It's okay." You said quietly. "I will find a solution. Have a nice weekend."

You bent down, grabbing for you bag and leaving the small office, heading straight back home.

The next morning was hard for you. The letter lying in your mailbox in evening wasn't helping to cheer up your mood. You landlord was getting more and more impatient, waiting for his rent to be paid. You were already 3 weeks late with you rent, and slowly he was running out of sympathy.

The words he wrote held you up from sleep the whole night, causing you to desperately think about a solution for this problem:

"...termination without notice if the rent is not be paid within the next two weeks..."

You had cried a lot this last night. Never in you life you had thought that you would end up like this, broke and desperate. You even had considered to jump over your pride and ask your boyfriends, who clearly had enough money, to help you out. But you quickly threw away this option, not wanting to use them because of their money.

With no other option left, you found yourself sitting on your laptop, checking you bank account. Of course you never spend all your money all at once. You had laid back a certain amount of money, your life savings, that you had sworn to never touch.

This money was so important for you, because it was meant to be spend into your future. A future that included your boyfriends, a own house, a car.....children.

Of course, you knew that each of your boyfriends were millionaires, multiplied with 7.

If you wanted, you would never have to go to work ever again. With their money, they could probably buy you 10 houses, 9 cars, 5 horses, a plane and everything you could ever wish for.

But that had never been your goal in life. You didn't want them to pay everything for you. They had own dreams, and each of them had worked hard to earn this much money. You couldn't and you wouldn't take advantages of that.

"Fuck." You whispered, as your head sunk onto the table you were sitting on.

By now, you couldn't hold back your tears anymore.

You computer screen showed your online bank account, listing the accounts you had created years agon. Among them the one that was your last chance to not be homeless soon:

Life Savings.

As you clicked on the link, a new window opened on your screen, showing you all the amount of money you had saved.

4,516 $

You stared at this number. Of course, this didn't sound too much in the first moment, but you were still young, and with 4000$ you would easily come through another 4 months, even more if you would be economical.

The tears were still running down your plump cheeks, rolling over your chin and staining your blue shirt. You didn't want to do that at all, but you had no other choice.

The only person you would have been brave enough to ask for help, was your mom. Sadly, she died 5 years ago, with all her bereaved money spent for the hospital bills and the funeral.

You sighed heavily. There was no going back now. You would transfer the money to your landlord today, before he could kick you out.

You were about to click the small 'Transfers' button, when suddenly your doorbell rang. You flinched heavily when the loud noise rang through you ear, obviously not expecting someone today.

You stood up and walked out of your bedroom, over to the front door.

Immediately when you opened the door, a bouquet of red roses blocked your view. You let out a small shriek, when the red flowers sunk down, revealing a familiar face behind it.

"Hello." Jimin flashed you his beautiful smile, before he pushed the flowers into Namjoon's arms, stepping forward and lifting you into his arms.

"Oh my god." You breathed out as you broke away from you paralysis. You wrapped your arms highly around the silver haired boy, who was still hugging you. "You are here."

"Jimin, don't break her." You heard Yoongi's deep voice from behind. "We still need her."

He tugged Jimin's shirt, until he let you down onto the floor, pouting as he had to pull away from you. He pressed a gentle kiss to your nose one last time, before the next boy stepped forward.

Their very presence was enough for you to calm down from the past stressing days. Having them squeezing you in their arms, kissing you all over your face made you feel so loved and invulnerable in the moment.

"May we step in?" Jin asked as he pulled away from you.

Still overwhelmed from their sudden visit, you looked at him confused. He gestured his hand into your apartment. You quickly stepped away from the doorway, letting them step inside.

"Are you okay, Jagiya (Honey)? You look a little bit pale." Jungkook asked as he stepped in front of you.

He lifted his hand up towards your forehead, feeling if you had a fever. But your skin felt cold under his touch.

"I am just – I am just surprise that you...." You began to stutter as they all stared at you.

They could tell that something was up with you. Being together for almost 3 years now, they knew that you would began to slightly stutter when you try to hide something. So you had to think about an excuse, before one of them would ask more questions.

"What are you even doing here?" Was the first thing that came into your mind. "Shouldn't you be in quarantine or something?"

"Silly Jagiya." Jungkook laughed as he cupped your face into his big, manly (and now tattooed) hands, pressing a wet kiss onto your nose. "Three weeks are over. We can leave the dorm again, so we decided to surprise you!"

The boys quickly let go of your strange behaviour. You all went into your living room where Hoseok and Tae were already pulling out your sofa, that way you would all fit on it. As soon as they placed the cushions back onto the sofa, you were lifted from the ground a thrown onto it.

"Hey!" You laughed and giggled as Jimin crawled over you.

He laid his much heavier body onto your smaller one, trapping you under him. He grabbed for you wrists, pulling them up over your head, where he pinned them down onto the soft fabric. With his mouth, he placed a line of kisses from your collarbone up to your ear.

"I missed you so much." He whispered as he nibbled the sensitive skin of your ear. "I thought about you a lot during quarantine, Sweetie."

You knew what he wanted from you. As Namjoon once said, Jimin needed indeed a lot of love and attention, but you loved to give it to him. Sadly, you had to disappoint him this time.

He was already pulling and tugging on your shirt, when you brought your mouth up to his ear.

"I am on my period." You whispered in that sexy voice you knew he normally loved.

He pulled away from you, looking into your eyes deeply.

"Are you serious?" He whined as he let go of your arms.

You were already laughing hard when the other finally came from the kitchen with snacks and drinks in their hands.

"What are you laughing at, Jagyia?" Tae asked as he plopped down next to you. "And why is he already pouting?"

He gestured for Jimin, who had crawled off of you, and was now lying beside you, hiding his face in your chest as you drove your fingers through his soft hair.

"She is being mean." He mumbled against your chest. "Stacking me three weeks in quarantine, with no one to care for me, and now that I have the chance to finally love my girlfriend again, she is one her period. You did this on purpose, didn't you?"

"We had phone sex almost ever day." You laughed at him as you pressed a kiss into his hair.

"But this isn't the same." He still whined. "And we hadn't had sex yesterday. So you can't say every day. And beside, sex over the phone isn't the same..."

You sighed at his words. You forgot to call them the previous evening, because of all the stress going on with your work and apartment.

"I am sorry." You said, as you threw your head back into the soft cushions. "I was just so stressed with work and stuff."

"Is everything okay with work?" Yoongi asked as he took your hand. "It must be hard for you when no weddings are allowed."

For a moment, your thought about telling them about the trouble your boss had with keeping the business going, but you decided to not bother them with your problems. They had enough stress with their band.

"Yes, yes, Everything is fine." You quickly tried brushed his concerns off. "We have a lot of pre orderings and stuff."

The topic quickly changed. The boys told you everything they did while stuck up in quarantine. They had used the time to work on their new album, which they wanted to do on their own. They told you how recording and producing was going.

"Hey, Aein (Sweetheart)?" Namjoon suddenly spoke up. You lifted your head from Hoseok's chest to look up at him. "Have you seen my green shirt by any chance? I couldn't find it anywhere at the dorm."

"Oh yes." You quickly said. "You forgot it the evening before you left. I washed and folded it on my desk. You can get it."

He nodded and got up from the sofa to walk up towards you bedroom. The other boys meanwhile where swarming about the evening before they left for America three weeks ago, complaining how bad they need you.

ꕀ

Namjoon had reached your bedroom door quickly.

He pushed it open and stepped inside. Immediately, he smiled when he saw your tidy bedroom. You have always been an organized person, which he admired, because he absolutely wasn't able to hold his room at home tidy.

He looked around, and spotted his green shirt, carefully folded on the table next to your laptop. He passed your bed and was about to reach his hand out for the piece of fabric, when his eyes fell onto the sheet of paper lying onto your desk.

He didn't want to invade your privacy, but the headline of the sheet caught his attention.

"Admonition: Pay your rent." Was written at the top of the paper.

His eyebrows cocked up. You didn't mention to them that you were laid with paying your rent this month. Normally, you didn't keep any secrets from each other.

He quickly read over the text. It seemed like you not only forgot to pay your rent, but you had delayed the day of paying several times. His eyes shifted over to your laptop, that was still opened up from when you were earlier working on it.

He entered the password, and the window of your bank account popped open. He saw which account you had opened, and it shocked him. He knew about your life savings, and he was slowly combining the figures.

You sometimes had mentioned that you didn't eared much money with your job, but you had never before complained about being not able to pay for your rent. Why would you take your life saving, instead of asking one of the boys or him for help? They would always help you out.

He stood up from the desk and walked towards the door. He quickly had to ask you about the rent topic, before you would do something you will regret later.

"Aein!" He called from the doorway. "Can you come here for a second, please?"

He waited for you to finally reach the room. Confused, you looked at your tall boyfriend sitting on your bed, looking kind of nervous and worried.

"Are you okay?" You asked, suddenly being pretty nervous yourself.

He didn't answer, instead, he gestured for you to take a place next to him on the bed. You made your way up,, and let your body sink down next to his. From this position, your gaze fell onto your desk. A flash of shock hit your body. Had he read the letter? What if he saw your bank account? What....

"I – ehm – I just want to say that I didn't want to invade your privacy. It was an accident." He said, as he took your hand, looking deep into your eyes. "But I saw the letter lying on your table. Are you having trouble with paying your rent? You know we would ever...."

"No, I am fine." You quickly said, not wanting to hear what he was about to say. "My boss is just a little bit late with my payment. But it will eventually arrive within the next days."

He looked at you intensely, knowing that you were lying because he saw your bank account. He sighed, and pulled you over from your spot onto his lap. Immediately, your arms wrap around his neck, nuzzling your nose into his neck. His apple scent was overwhelming your nose.

"Aein." He said quietly while stroking your back in small circles. "Why are you lying to me? You know that I, that we, would always help you out. I saw on your computer that you were about to take the money from your life savings. Why would you do that instead of asking one of us?"

By now, you couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Not only had you lied to your boyfriends, you also had to admit yourself that you had problems that you couldn't solve on your own. You hugged him tighter, sobbing quietly into his neck.

Namjoon didn't say anything, he just rocked you gently back and forth, rubbing small circles on your back. He wanted to give you the time to tell him by your own. After a few minutes, you finally pulled away from the soft skin of his neck, eyes puffy and red.

"I – I don't – I am sorry." You sobbed even more, not being able to say the words. This was a really big deal for you. "I just don't you to think that I need your money to survive and - and I didn't want to have any depts. So I thought I – I could use some money from my life saving to bridge over this month."

You looked at your hands in your lap, fiddling with the sleeve of Namjoon's shirt.

"Look at me." He said, as he lifted you face by your chin. "Did one of us make you ever feel like you were dependent from us?"

You shook your head slightly, without hesitation.

"Did one of us make you ever feel judged when you had problems?"

You shook your head again.

"Did one of us denied you any help once, when you needed it?"

"No." You whispered.

He pressed a kiss onto your forehead. He then placed his left arm under your kneecap and his right arm under your back to lift you up in his arms. As he began to walk out of your room, you wrapped your arms once again around his neck.

When the two of you reached the living room, all the other heads shot up from the TV.

"Where have you been so long?" Jin asked as he shoved a hand full of crisps into his mouth.

When they saw your puffy eyes, they all immediately knew that your had been crying. Namjoon sat down onto the sofa, letting go of you, as another pair of strong arms were already wrapped around your body from behind.

"What happened?" You heard Jungkook whispering in your ear from behind, as he placed small kisses all around your ear.

You hesitated for a moment. Then looking up at Namjoon, who gestured for you to tell them, by lying his hand on your knee.

Carefully, you told your boyfriends about the financial problems your had. You told them about your work and your boss not being able to pay your payment in time, so you could pay your rent in time. You told them about you not being brave enough to ask someone for help, because you were embarrassed.

The boys listened carefully, as you spoke.

"But Jagyia." Jimin had crawled up beside you. "We are together. You have to tell us everything that is on your mind. We would never reject you, you know?"

"I know." You laughed slightly as you kissed his plump lips, that were just inches away from yours. "I am sorry. I thought I can just bridge this month."

"You are so silly sometimes." Jin suddenly said, as he bent forward to grab your arms pulling you along with him as he threw himself backwards onto the sofa. "I want you to trust us with everything that bothers you. We want you to be happy."

The eighth of you kept talking a little while longer, until you heard the words:

"Maybe paying rent is not necessary anymore, because there actually is something we wanted to ask you for quite a long time now."

________________________________________

I think this one is pretty cute.

What do you think is the question at the end? I thin it is pretty obvious. Lol.

Mꨄ

[1358456]

Birthday Rambles!

March 25, 2022... I am now 28 years old. Wow. Almost 30. Time to stumble down memory lane, and think about the upcoming number 30... in a couple of years.

On one hand, my 20s has been an absolute hell (sexual assault, stabbed, another sexual assault, almost beaten to death, PTSD, near drowning, hit by a car, being told that I didn’t have long to live due to heart failure, heart attack, not dying from heart failure due to transplant after I was ready for death, heart transplant, physical rehab, etc) so I do want it to end as soon as possible so I can start anew (in a sense) with my 30s. But on the other hand... 30... I guess I’m not that young anymore (ㅠ.ㅠ) ... Here’s hoping that none of the bullsh*t from my 20s happens in my 30s... and also, that nothing bad happens in the remainder of my 20s. Still two whole years left. 20% of the duration remains so it’s a bit too early to call my “20s troubles” over.

But all that is just... me, as in, the girl using the keyboard and nothing related to writing itself. So what about the writing side? Let’s see... I wrote my first story in 2006, so... I was 12. Then I made the 135 account in 2007, so... I was 13 when I made the first story in this account. The profile picture wasn’t a Mew back then. I’m pretty sure the first profile image was just a blank colored image. Like... load up MS Paint, fill the empty canvas with any color, and there you go. And probably a lighter green color too. And at some point, I swapped to the Garchomp holding an energy sword. I don’t quite remember when I swapped over to the shiny Mew with red eyes (regular shiny Mew has blue eyes) with the twin zealot blades. But given how DE is the first story (chronologically) that has the current profile image, I assume I swapped over some time in 2014 when I was 20. So I was 15 when I started making the SA plans (2009), 16 when I made SE (2010), 17 when I made SA (2011), and right around the time when I really wanted to kill myself (18 years old), I made SL (2012). So... that explains that disaster. And after I got over that nonsense, I made this Tumblr when I was 19, in 2013. Well, almost 20, since I made this in December 2013. And... I think I was 24 when I joined Pokemon Special Discord (2018)? I say that since the fallout was in 2019, and I believe I was in there for about a year and a half (DE #033 was posted on July 2019, and that was for Discord. And SC #014 was posted on September 2019, and that was after the fallout. So the fallout happened at some point between July and September). And then when I was 26, I announced retirement and Mew died (2020). And then shortly before turning 28, I dug up the body and reanimated it for this brief Tumblr revival (2022). And now, here we are. About a week or two before the zombie Mew is buried again and kept buried this time. Also, I guess I never bothered attempting to make a shiny zombie Mew image, since that seemed like far too much effort for this little joke.

So... it’s been quite the journey! And that means at this point, I’ve been writing for... 16 years. Wow. That’s... a long time. And now I have to wonder. What did I get out of all that? 16 years of writing, and... for what? Well, nothing. That said, I’m okay with that, since this was a “for fun” thing, and I wasn’t looking to gain anything from it in the first place.

I do have to wonder though. Is there something else I could have done for the past 16 years on the side instead of writing? ... Well, what could I have done with just an inconspicuous computer? Not drawing. There’s only so much I can do with a mouse and MS Paint. Besides, I was always terrible at drawing. 16 years of that... I’d probably be a lot better than now, but still nowhere near “good”. Realistically, I think I would’ve tried real hard to draw for like... a month, before realizing that it was a lost cause and give it up for something else.

I could’ve taken up computer programming and coding. But... I was 12 when I started writing. Starting computer coding instead would’ve been way over my head... presumably. Also I wasn’t allowed to use the computer all that much anyways.

I wonder if I could’ve taken up pro gaming. The game I still play that is still being played by pros has been out since 1998, so even when I first starting writing in 2006, I definitely could’ve taken up gaming instead. ... Oh wait, no I couldn’t. Because back then, I was only allowed to play games on the weekends, and for a combined total of 3 hours per week. And it’s pretty hard to attempt at going pro when I’ve been banned from anything internet game related. I guess that’s why I was so into Pokemon games at that time, since I could play that while pretending to sleep. So most of my Pokemon progress was made underneath the blankets. Hahaha. Until my high school years, when I sort of stopped caring about the lesser important rules, and my mom gave up in enforcing those rules.

I could’ve taken up music. I was damn good at the flute and the piano, and I was always interested in playing the violin. But... talk about a costly pointless endeavor. At least writing doesn’t cost me anything. ... I wonder why I was forced to take piano lessons until grade 9. What a waste of time that was. Yeah, I can play the piano pretty well. But... we don’t have a piano anymore. I can play the flute too. And we don’t have that either.

I wonder if I could’ve taken up streaming. Of course back then, streaming didn’t exist, and I had the whole “3 hours of gaming per week” restriction. But once I started living alone during and after my university years... maybe I could have. Although, I did stream in 2020, right up until I wasn’t allowed to live alone anymore due to risk of suddenly dying. It was only meant for one person though. He streamed the games he played so I could watch, and in returned, I streamed the games that I played so that he could watch. I could take it up again for a broader use, but... ehn. It’s either I stream with my old laptop where I have to play stuff on potato graphics, or on the Xbox, where, as I experienced, it randomly disconnects.

Maybe I could’ve taken up sports! I was pretty active and good to decent with a variety of activities, including self-defense! That is, until I was 11, and I was to spar this 18 year old, and I got kicked in the face which cracked my front tooth. And since then, my parents banned me from doing anything physically “risky”. I wonder how things would’ve turned out if that didn’t happen. Would the more frequent strenuous exercise have strengthened me enough to better fight off the bad guys and avoid the two cases of sexual assault? And would it have strengthened my heart enough to avoid the heart failure? Or would that have been accelerated instead? I guess I’ll never know.

So I guess in the end, all I could’ve done as a secret hobby was writing, and nothing else. I believe I once said that I live a boring life that’s unfortunately eventful. And... yeah. There was nothing I could’ve done for a hobby other than writing in secret, and I did exactly that. ... So... what will I do in the future? Hmm... Well, once 135 is killed again and buried forever, I can be something else! Hehe.

[v-thinks-on]

Wanna Know a Writer

Thank you very much to @sparrow-ink for the tag - I love doing these when I get the chance! Incidentally, this is also my 1001st post on Tumblr!

How many works do you have on AO3?

It looks like I have 116 right now, but it will be 117 tomorrow (with a short Batman/Superman fic)

What’s your total AO3 word count?

716,792 apparently... I’ve been writing like crazy lately and I still swear that can’t be right, but there you go

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

It looks like I’ve posted fic for 30 (including crossovers and fusions) and there may be more I haven’t posted, so not listing all of them. You can see the whole list here

Following @sparrow-ink‘s example, I’ll let my filesystem speak for itself:

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Language of Chess has been the undisputed champion for a while (Kirk and Spock flirt using the Vulcan language of chess)

The Old Family Farm is a more recent fic that came up from behind while I wasn’t looking (Clark Kent takes Bruce Wayne to meet his parents)

The Gift Giving Game was my K/S secret santa gift for Herenya_writes (Kirk and Spock stir up rumors as professors at Starfleet Academy)

A Hidden, Personal Thing (Spock offers to mind meld with Kirk)

Human, Vulcan, and Everything in Between (Spock is ace, Kirk is polyamorous, and it works well for them)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to respond to every comment because there’s nothing I like more than talking with people about my writing and the stories that inspire it! I’m more than happy to answer questions on here too, if anyone has any!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

So, these days I’m generally a firm believer in happy endings, but in the pre-AO3 days, I used to mostly write death!fic and a few highlights actually made it onto AO3:

The Death of Spock - Spock dies during the original five-year mission and Kirk is left to pick up the pieces

Only a Fool - Watson dies at Reichenbach and Holmes is left to pick up the pieces

Honorable mention: Devoted - the inevitable tragedy of Mary Watson (nee Morstan)

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

As it turns out, the other thing I used to write is crazy crossovers, many of which were never finished, let alone saw the light of day. I’ve dialed back on it (a little), but here are some highlights:

Spock in Wonderland

Millennium Death Note - currently in progress! (What if Light Yagami solved the Millennium Puzzle?)

The Mysterious Mr. Jeeves - Jeeves and Wooster x Everything, but I think the most outlandish one in there would have to be The Phantom of the Opera

Honorable mention: my old BBC Sherlock x Harry Potter - the writing isn’t great and the plot is a bit of a mess, but it will likely always be my most viewed fic

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Only a little bit and mostly just on FanFiction.net - there was one person offended that my big Star Trek TOS x TNG crossover was “secretly” Kirk/Spock. More often I get people who like most of my fics, but then get annoyed about Kirk being polyamorous or Spock being ace or don’t like how I decided to end something, which isn’t terribly helpful, but could be worse.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Nope, don’t read it, don’t write it, just not for me.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, thankfully.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I’m honored that people want to translate my stories into other languages (and make podfic of them)!

The first three chapters of Devoted (the tragedy of Mary Watson) are available in Chinese

Enough to Drive a Man to Madness (Mycroft puts up with Sherlock Holmes angsting about Dr. Watson) is available in Russian

Once Upon a Dream (Holmes and Watson dance) is available in Russian

The Appearance of Dorian Gray (Bertie Wooster meets Dorian Gray) has a podfic

And I think someone did a podfic of a scene from A Crazy Little Thing Called Love (the progression of Kirk and Spock’s relationship over The Original Series), but I can’t seem to find it right now

What’s your all time favorite ship?

My first and dearest will always be Holmes/Watson from the original Sherlock Holmes stories

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’ve gotten to be pretty good at finishing things I want to write, but there’s this huge Disney crossover I started writing with a friend that is glorious and complicated and almost 1/3 of the way done despite being over 90k already. Whenever I think about it, I always think that, yes, I will finish it some day, even though my co-author has lost interest, but the truth is probably not... But who knows, maybe I’ll turn around and have it done for next year’s @wipbigbang!

What are your writing strengths?

I’ve discovered a secret talent for finishing what I start, which is nice - a combination of planning and just keeping at it, slow and steady.

I think I do a good job of capturing characters’ voices, whether in dialogue or narration, and it serves me particularly well when I’m trying to imitate a style - I’m especially proud of some of my Jeeves and Wooster. I can also do some nice flowery prose if put my mind to it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

For all of my love of pretty prose, it’s easy for me to forget to describe things, so my writing can end up fairly sparse. I also feel like I could get better at integrating romance and plot - the romance often ends up getting drowned out by everything else going on, which is especially frustrating because I’m usually writing it because of the romance.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

That’s a good question. Probably Death Note (my friends and I used to ship L/Light) - that’s the oldest fic I have on my computer, at least, but I used to write on paper, so there may be something even older there. The first fandom I posted anything for is Harry Potter (a next-gen OC fic about the daughter of Bellatrix Lestrange - it’s best not to ask). I also posted my first Holmes/Watson fic at about the same time (it’s pretty bad, but I tried).

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I’m actually really happy with a couple of my somewhat recent longer fics:

Generations - my Kirk/Spock Star Trek: Generations fix-it

Bertie Solves a Mystery - Jeeves and Wooster get embroiled in a murder mystery and meet Hercule Poirot and Hastings (also Jeeves has a mysterious backstory)

tagging: I’m going to second @plaudiusplants and tag @the-z-part​ and @marlinspirkhall​ if you’d like to do it, along with anyone else who wants to go for it!

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

Sweet Pandemonium - Gally (The Maze Runner) Part 16 of 16

Welp, this is it I guess. I’ve never finished a story of this size before, so ngl, I’m proud of myself. This story was originally gonna be a short possibly two parter imagine, I never intended for this to be 16 chapters long lmao. AND, I didn’t do much pre planning either. I kinda just made things up as I wrote, which is why this story is such a shit show. But a big thank you to the supporters of this shit show, it means a whole fucking lot. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming...

TW: Page 250

I keep forgetting to tag, fucking hell: @multifandom-fangirl4​  @dxllysoutsider​ @gladerscake​

~~~~~~~~~~

( not my gif )

Shakily changing into a stolen guard’s uniform, you found yourself more nervous than you probably should’ve been. 

You just dreaded going back, now with the threat of everyone you care about dying. 

Before, when it was just you risking your life, it was easier. You didn’t really care if you died if you could save someone else, and you knew that mentality was not the healthiest. But compared to Gally, Thomas, or even Brenda, you didn’t feel like you mattered as much. 

What could you possibly have to offer that would be greater than anyone else’s contribution?

“You ready?” Gally smiled at you.

Ah, but being able to be with Gally overpowered those feelings.

“Yup. How do I look?” You teased, jokingly twirling around to show off the heavy uniform.

“Pretty damn good, I gotta say.”

You brushed off the butterflies in your stomach with a scoff. “Well, a good uniform can make anyone look good, I think.”

“I mean, sure. But damn, you really pull it off.”

Your lighthearted conversation was cut short by a sharp cough, looking over to see Newt with an annoyed look on his face. “You guys are bloody disgusting, excuse me while I go vomit.”

“Oh, come on, man. Look at her and tell me she doesn’t look nice.” Gally pointed to you.

“Jesus, keep it in your pants, mate.”

You stifled a laugh as Gally turned a light shade of red, ignoring the suggestive comment with an eye roll. “I’m just sayin’.”

Newt walked away from the amusing exchange, still stifling a few coughs. You couldn’t help but worry. “Does he seem a bit off to you?” You asked. Gally looked to Newt then back to you, the sad look on his face giving you a guarantee that something was wrong.

You would’ve prodded further if it weren’t for Thomas giving the signal that it was time to start infiltrating the W.C.K.D. building.

The way it was planned, Thomas and Teresa would walk in the front together, meeting up with Newt, soon you and Gally would find them, making sure to keep a natural distance away. Brenda’s job seemed the easiest, to you at least, all she had to do was steal a bus. You prayed that Frypan didn’t fall to his death, and that Jorge would get back in time with the Berg.

“You’re worrying.”

You rolled your eyes at Gally’s tone. “Yeah, of course I’m worrying. When do I not worry?”

“Not as much as you’d think.”

Your felt your heavy breaths waft back into your face from the helmet you were wearing not allowing much to circulate. Seriously, how could people do this all day for a job? You ignored the queasy feeling in your gut as you found Teresa with the other two “guards.”

Entering into a stairwell, Gally suddenly stopped the group. “Hold on, hold on.” He said, looking over some sort of electric box. “I can get in here.”

“Kay, throw me the walkie.” Thomas ordered, motioning for you to follow with him to clear the area.

You heard Newt cough heavily as you descended down the stairs with your gun, right behind Thomas. “How long has Newt been like this?” You whispered.

“Now’s not the time, Y/N.” Thomas said, scanning next floor to see that it was clear.

“Thomas.” You pleaded.

Thomas huffed, an annoyed yet mournful face overtaking his features. You knew his answer wouldn’t be good, and you found yourself dreading what he would say. “He’s got the Flare...he’s been like this for awhile now. I just found out myself.” He frowned.

You cast your gaze downwards, tears already welling up in your eyes as you realized what this meant. Thomas didn’t give you a chance to respond as he quickly ascended the stairs back to the others, holding up the radio. “Frypan, we’re in. How you doing?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m getting there.” Fry voiced. “Tell Minho hi for me.”

“Hang in there, buddy.”

Gally soon got into the box, quickly looking through the various labels until finding the right one. “This’ll work.” He assured.

“Okay, Brenda, what’s your status?” Thomas spoke through the radio.

“Working on it.” She answered.

“Copy. Just make sure you’re ready on your end.”

“Don’t worry, you know I’m gonna be there.”

Gally quickly set up the hacking signal up to the correct wires, shutting the box door with a grin. “Alright, let’s go.” Everyone quickly bounded down the stairs, stopping at the door at the bottom. “Lawrence, we’re in position.” Gally radioed, only to be greeted with silence. “Lawrence?” 

“If he doesn’t turn those bloody cameras off, then we’re gonna be in big trouble.” Newt expressed everyone’s thoughts.

Gally looked nervous, but peeking though the little window in the door, he huffed. “He’ll do his part.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, sighing heavily before readjusting the mask part of the helmet over your face. “Let’s get this over with.”

Teresa reluctantly placed her thumb over the ID scanner, and Gally quickly encouraged everyone through the door to cautiously speed through the halls to get to where Minho was being held. 

It didn’t take long to find the holding bay with Teresa leading the group, but you didn’t know if getting in would be easy with a bunch of guards inside.

“Teresa, stay back.” You ordered, gently pushing her behind you. The last thing you guys needed was for her getting in the crossfire.

“Ready?” Gally looked to everyone, they all nodded, clutching their weapons tightly.

As soon as the door opened, shots rang out from your side, making work of all the guards in no time. The element of surprise probably helped. “Huh, that was surprisingly easy.” You chuckled breathlessly, almost proud of yourself for getting some decent shots in, the recoil packed a punch though.

“Yeah? Don’t let it go to your head.” Newt sassed.  

Seeing all the kids exit their holding cells with looks of hopefulness, almost made you tear up. What could’ve these poor innocent souls had to endure by the hands of W.C.K.D. You risked a glace at your cousin, and you couldn’t tell how she felt. Did she feel joy that these kids were finally getting rescued? Or all that she saw in those kids was possible cure, dehumanizing them for the sake of her morality? 

You didn’t want to think about it anymore.

“The vault. How do I get in?” Gally’s voice caught your attention. The person he was holding a gun to simply said that he couldn’t. “Guys, this might take some time.” He voiced after looking over the heavy vault door.

You looked around and furrowed your brows when you saw one key person missing. “Where’s Minho? He’s supposed to be here.”

Thomas scowled, storming up to Teresa. “Where is he?”

Teresa quickly went to the computers, looking up his file. “Someone’s moved him up to the medical wing. Thomas, that’s on the other side of the building.”

Thomas sighed. “Okay, take me to him, right now.”

“Alright, I’m coming with you.” You and Newt both stepped up.

“No. No, you guys have to wait with Gally for the serum.”

“You can’t do this on your own.” Newt argued. “And Minho comes first, remember?”

“Just go, we’re wasting time!” Gally called out.��“I’ll get the serum, we’ll meet you out back.”

Thomas nodded to Newt, but turned to you with a remorseful look on his face. “No, no, you’re not making me stay.” You expressed. “I’m part of this as much as he is.”

“Y/N, you’ve done so much for us already. I can’t ask you to do this.”

“I’m offering.”

“No, please. Stay here. We’ll be okay.”

You scowled, exhaling sharply. “Fine. Keep an eye on Newt.” You whispered, Thomas nodding then running out with Newt and Teresa. “Please, be careful.”

“They’ll be fine, just watch my six and the kids.” Gally said, starting to saw into the door.

You stood guard at the door, impatiently tapping your foot as you worried about your friends, especially Newt. You wished he had stayed with you and Gally so you could give him the serum as soon as the vault opened. You knew it wouldn’t cure him, but it would give him time, and that’s what he needed right now.

You heard Gally’s saw stop, smiling ear to ear when the vault door finally opened. You went inside to help Gally load up all the vials, the whole room glowing blue from the color of the serum. “Come on, we need to hurry.”

The room was almost empty of its contents, but staring at one of the only vials left, you debated. Emotion overtook logic as you grabbed a singular vial of the serum, gathering courage and turning around, only to be stopped by Gally. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I have to find Newt.”

Gally looked at the serum clutched tight in your hand, putting the pieces together quickly. “No, no way.”

“Who know how much time he had left? This can help him.”

“It’s too dangerous.” He said slowly.

“I can’t do nothing while I know I can help him.”

“You’re not doing nothing. You’re gonna help these kids get to Brenda. I’m not letting you.”

“I wasn’t asking.” You said bluntly, a determined look in your eyes that made Gally speechless. He had seen that look before, and he finally realized he wouldn’t be able to convince you to stay with him.

Gally quickly pulled you into a hug with his free arm, placing a rough kiss to the top of your head. “You better come back to me.”

You smiled softly. “I will.” 

And with that, you took off without a glance behind you, determined to save your friend from a terrible fate. Of course, if you had glanced behind you to see Gally’s face, you probably wouldn’t been complied to stay. But you had to help Newt, he couldn’t become one of those things. You couldn’t save Gally all those months ago, couldn’t save Jeff...or Chuck. You didn’t want history to repeat itself.

You followed the signs that led you toward where the medical bay would be, making sure to avoid being sighted at all costs. You felt silly hiding in small confined places that made your legs cramp up and wish you had more flexibility or stamina at least. It definitely didn’t help that alarms were blaring all around you, making you believe you actually did get caught. But hearing a few guards talk loudly about how intruders were heading to the medical bay, you realized it was just Thomas who must’ve fucked up, or worse Teresa.

This was going to get a lot harder...

All the guards seemed to rally to the medical bay to capture Thomas and Newt, it wasn’t too difficult to blend in with everyone else distracted from the chaos of it all.

You heard gunshots and glass smashing down the halls of the medical wing. Those boys sure were making it obvious, weren’t they?

You clutched you gun to your chest, not feeling very confident about taking on the guards by yourself, but when you saw your friends with a newly escaped Minho struggling to avoid the guards, you knew you had to do something.

You saying a silent prayer, even though you didn’t know if there was any being out there that heard it, gave you some sort of comfort enough to charge the guards that were gaining on your friends. Shooting at will, not even sure you were hitting any guards, you heard a few men fall to the floor with pained groans.

You didn’t have time to be proud of yourself before you felt a sharp pain in the back of your head, immediately falling to the floor yourself with a yelp.

You looked up to see the annoyed face of Jensen, him leaning down and roughly grabbing onto you and hoisting you up to stand. “You’re a real pain the arse, aren’t you, youngblood?”

Teresa jumped when she heard the doors slam opened, gasping when she saw you on the floor with a bloodied face in front of Jensen. “What the hell, Jensen?”

“Look who I found at the med wing, taking out guards left and right.” Jensen sneered.

“I said alive, Jensen!” Teresa fumed, looking at your almost unconscious form.

“I know what you said, Teresa. She’s breathing, isn’t she?”

Teresa scowled at the man before leaning down to delicately lift you to your feet, ungracefully dragging you to a gurney from the lack of help with your dead weight. “Get out. Thomas is still out there.”

“Your wish is my command, my lady.” Jensen bowed sarcastically, turning on his heel to walk out of the room.

Teresa turned her attention back to you. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” She whispered, quickly fixing up a wet cloth to wipe away at the blood leaking from your nose and mouth.

You groaned at the pained pressure of the cloth, weakly pushing Teresa’s hand away from your face. “Hurts...” You mumbled.

“I thought you were supposed to stay with Gally.” Teresa fussed, ignoring your discomfort to clean your face. “You shouldn’t have come here.”

“I needed to help Newt...” You frowned, holding up the serum that was once safely in your pocket.

Teresa sighed sadly. “It wouldn’t have saved him.”

“But it would’ve given him time.”

Teresa stayed silent for a moment, deciding what to do with you. You furrowed your brows when you felt her strap you to the gurney tightly. “What’re you...?”

“I can’t have you wondering off, plus, you might have a concussion.” Teresa said, inserting a needle into your arm, pulling blood from your veins.

“You need my blood to keep me from wondering off?” You glared. Teresa avoiding your eyes as she readied another needle. “You’re still looking for a cure...even though there is none.”

“I’m just going to run some tests.” She answered simply.

You bit your lip when you felt tears well up in your eyes, gently banging your head down onto the gurney in frustration. How the hell were you gonna escape now?

Gally could’ve sworn his heart almost stopped when he saw his friends jump out of that window. Did these guys have a death wish? But what scared him even more if that there were only three, not four. Please, tell me she made it... “Where’s Y/N?” Gally tried not to shout.

Thomas eyes widened. “What do you mean? We left her with you!”

“She went to find you guys, to give that shank the serum.” Gally pointed to Newt.

Thomas clenched his fists, feeling anger well up in his gut. “Teresa wouldn’t let her get hurt. If anything, she needs her. We’ll get her back, Gally.”

“I know, cause I’m not leaving without her.”

It felt like hours before you talked to Teresa again, her being so fixated on her tests tubes and microscopes. “Any luck in finding your make believe cure?” You teased mockingly. Teresa stayed silent, watching through her scientific equipment for any sign that her cousin blood did anything to get rid of the Flare virus. Teresa slammed her hands on the table when the blood wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. “Guess I’m not the one, huh?”

Teresa glared at you, not appreciating your irritating commentary. She chose to move on to Thomas’ blood that she took back in the church, and her eyes widened when she saw his blood destroying the Flare virus.

Just when she finished making the first serum that she knew would work, the whole building shook as a boom echoed around the whole city.

You strained your neck to look behind you, seeing an almost mushroom cloud of fire at the wall that protected the city. “What the hell...?” Your eyes widened even more when you could faintly see a swarm of people charging through the gap in the wall, quickly realizing that the people were fighting and destroying everything. “Teresa, we have to get out of here.” You said, noticing everyone outside the lab room where thinking the same thing and trying to making a quick escape.

Teresa frowned, storming over to you and removing your restraints, and quickly going back to her experiments. “I can’t.”

You quickly removed yourself from the gurney. “What do you mean? The city’s getting raided. They’ll burn this place down, with us in it.”

“Thomas is the cure, Y/N!” She yelled, making you speechless. “His blood is destroying the virus! He can save us all. I need him.”

“Teresa...if all went as planned, he’s long gone by now.”

“No, he can’t be. Newt is dying and Thomas won’t abandon him, you know that. He’ll be slowing them down. I have to get through to him.” Teresa exhaled shakily. “You can go if you want, I’m staying. I have to.”

You looked to the exit then back to Teresa, your cousin, your only family. In the past, most choices you made were clearly the right ones. But now...you had no idea what to do.

You wanted to choose Teresa...you really did. But you still had the temporary serum, you still had the chance to help Newt. “I’m sorry, Teresa.” You voiced, gaining her attention. “I want to stay with you. But I need to find our friends.”

Teresa’s face fell, frowning. “I understand.”

“I’ll come back for you.” Your voice wavered, feeling intense emotion wash over you, suddenly getting the feeling to tell her you loved her. But you cut the goodbye short, running out of the room and rushed to leave the building.

Thankfully, everyone was so focused on packing up to leave, you had no trouble escaping. But you almost didn’t want to leave the building when you saw the hell on earth that was just outside. But you pushed on, making sure you kept the hold on the vial safely in your hand.

You almost jumped when you heard your cousin’s voice echo around the city’s speakers.

“Thomas? Can you hear me? I need you to listen to me. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I need you to come back. Thomas, you can save Newt. There’s still time for him. There’s a reason Brenda isn’t sick anymore. It’s your blood, do you understand? She isn’t sick because...you cured her. She doesn’t have to be the only one. You just need to come back, and this will all finally be over. Please, just come back to me. I know you’ll-”

The speakers suddenly cut out, as almost all power in the city was down.

You suddenly felt dread wash over you, you had to find Thomas.

Running through the city as fast as you could, you wished you were a Runner, then maybe your legs wouldn’t cramp up every time you exerted yourself. You felt the heat of fires and explosions as you sprinted, dodging multiple guards and people fighting each other. This wasn’t supposed to happen...

Finally getting to a clearing, you stopped to cease the wheezing in your heavy breaths, until you heard screaming. You quickly rounded the corner to see Thomas and Newt...fighting each other.

No...you were too late...

You ran to them, quickly trying to pull Newt off of Thomas, only for his attention to turn to you and tackle you to the ground. “Newt!” You yelled, tearing up quickly at the sight of his dead eyes and Flared up face. “Newt...”

Thomas pushed Newt off of you, giving you the chance to take the vial out of your pocket, but the new Crank got free of Thomas’ hold and attacked you again, the vial violently being thrown from your hand. You internally cringed when you heard a shatter. Fuck...

You felt your vision get blurry when Newt smashed your head against the pavement, the pain resonating throughout your skull and making you feel lightheaded.

You didn’t know what happened after that, you just woke up and Newt wasn’t attacking you anymore. You didn’t hear the sound of struggle anymore. You looked to your left to see Brenda, a look of pained shock on her face. Then you realized, Thomas was sitting next to Newt. 

“No...” You whispered.

You crawled over to Thomas, looking down at Newt’s body. You could barely see anything due to the tears that welled up in your eyes, making the world around you blurry. You couldn’t do anything but stare numbly at your fallen friend, unaware that Thomas had left.

“Y/N.”

You knew that voice belonged to Gally, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Or do anything when Frypan wrapped his arms around you to give you some sort of comfort, him feeling the same grief as you, if not worse.

Gally felt the pain of the loss too, but seeing everything being burned down too quickly, he had to speak up. “This place is gonna take us down with it if we don’t get outta here...”

Fry gently pulled you away from Newt’s body, reluctantly motioning for Minho to follow. “Come on.” Fry rubbed your shoulder.

You were basically on autopilot on the way to the Berg, where Jorge, Vince, and the kids were waiting to take off. “We have to find Thomas. He went back to the holding facility.” Brenda voiced worryingly.

“That damn kid.” Vince huffed.

The numbness went away enough to remember that you told Teresa that you’d be back for her. You had to find her again, but the Berg was already being lifted up into the air. In your heart, you knew wherever Thomas was, Teresa was most likely with him. That’s something you could rely on, at least.

“Hey...” Gally sat next to you, gently holding your hand. You could faintly see tear marks down his face, his eyes a shade of red and watery. “We’ll find them.”

You wished you believed that, but after everything that’s happened, you felt having hope was childish. You couldn’t bear to hope just for things to end terribly.

“I think I got him!” You heard Jorge shout, everyone, including you, rallying to the front to look out the Berg’s window.

“Yeah, that’s him. I got the hatch.” Brenda said, quickly springing into action.

“Alright, I got him. I got him.” Jorge said, proceeding to carefully turn the Berg around so the now open hatch was facing the burning building roof. “I can’t get any closer!”

Everyone crowded the hatch, calling out for Thomas and Teresa on the roof, reaching out their hands to grab them. Quickly noticing that he was injured badly, you started to reach out as well. “Thomas! Teresa! Come on!”

“Get closer!” Teresa called out.

“Jump!” Vince yelled, his body almost half out of the aircraft trying to reach.

“We gotta get closer!” Gally yelled to Jorge.

“Come on, reach!”

The Berg finally got close enough to where Teresa could help Thomas onto the hatch, everyone quickly pulling him inside. You looked back to Teresa, holding out your hand as far as you could. “Your turn, jump!” You called out. You furrowed your brows in confusion when Teresa made no effort to move, not even to reach out for you. You could see the debate in her eyes, wondering if she actually deserved to live or not. “Don’t leave me!”

Teresa’s eyes softened, almost bringing her to tears upon hearing that short but impactful sentence. In a matter of a few seconds, the next building over was destroyed, large chunks of debris falling, making the roof collapse into itself, taking your cousin with it.

“No!” You sobbed loudly, ripping apart your vocal cords and feeling your heart break in two.

The Berg quickly left the destroyed area, bringing you all back to their base to pack up and finally go to a place called the “Safe Haven.”

You fell back, feeling grief and guilt weigh you down. I shouldn’t have left her...she would be here if I had just stayed...

You looked to see that Thomas passed out, but he was alive. Brenda and Gally quickly patched him up, but he would have to be better treated when the Berg arrived.

Gally just sat next to you the whole ride, not saying anything, not even attempting to give you comforting touches in fear that it would just make things worse, he just sat there to let you know he was there for you.

Everything felt like it was moving too fast, like time sped up without warning or giving you time to adjust. It made you feel nauseous, but you had nothing in your stomach to throw up, besides bile, you which you did upchuck. You huffed at the burning feeling in your throat. “Damn it...”

Gally was right by your side, rubbing your back and telling you everything would be okay. But it wouldn’t be okay. You lost your close friend, and then you lost your only family that you had left. You couldn’t help the new flow of tears, Gally quickly pulling you close to lean on his chest. “It’s okay. Let it out...” He said softly.

“I could’ve...I could’ve...” You hiccupped.

“There’s nothing you could’ve done, sweetheart.” Gally hugged you tighter, feeling your body rack with heavy cries.

Hours later, you finally calmed down, the tears ran out a long time ago. But you noticed the machine hum of the Berg stopped. “We’re here!” Jorge called out, making you flinch at the sudden shout. 

“Come on, help me get Thomas situated.” Vince called out, gathering the group to carry him, including Gally.

You stepped out of the Berg to immediately smell a slight salty scent, you never smelled anything like it. And you heard an unfamiliar sound, almost like white noise. It was just after sunset, but it was still a little light out. But you instantly recognized the light tan sandy ground, the water the stretched out for miles and miles to the horizon.

You’d never seen a beach before, not even before your memory wipe before the Maze. It was beautiful, but you would appreciate it better without the rotting feeling of grief weighing on your shoulders.

You walked to where you saw Vince take Thomas, stopping right outside the entrance of the wooden hut. “Is he okay?” You asked softly.

“He’ll be okay.” Vince answered. “He should wake up soon, but I have to go and make sure things have been taken care of while I’ve been gone.” And with that, Vince walked away with a fast pace.

Minho then exited the hut, meeting you with wide eyes. “Hey...” He said awkwardly, making you give a tight lipped smile. “I’m...sorry, about Teresa. I know how important she was to you.”

You didn’t want to cry anymore, you were sick of crying and the thought alone made you exhausted. “I’m sorry about Newt. He...he was a good guy.”

Minho’s lip quivered slightly, but quickly covered it up with a sigh. “We all lost him.”

You brought him into a hug, not knowing what else to do. It was weird at first, you two weren’t the type to show physical affection to each other, but you felt the situation called for it. Minho hugged you back tightly, trying not to cry at the thought of never being able to hug his best friend again.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m tired.” You sighed.

“Yeah, I think everyone is. It would be weird if they weren’t.” Minho looked past you and smiled to himself weakly. “I think I should get some sleep. I’ll see you later.” You turned to watch Minho walk off, giving Gally a slight nod as he passed him.

Gally walked up to you with a small smile. “I would ask if you’re okay, but I feel like that question is pretty obvious.”

“Yeah...” You whispered. “I’m just fucking exhausted.”

Gally frowned, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Vince already has some beds set up for us. Shall we go?”

You nodded. “That sounds nice.”

You and Gally set up your beds next to each other, at your insistent request. To be fair, in a new environment, you didn’t feel safe at all. Ironic in the “Safe Haven.”

You didn’t get a lot of sleep, constantly worrying about how Thomas was doing. Gally seemed to sense your worry. “He’ll be fine. He’s a stubborn kid.” He said, bringing you closer to him. It did seem to relax you as you fell asleep soon after, but that didn’t stop the influx of nightmares to plague your subconscious. 

The next morning, everyone was up and atom, but you and your friends seemed to have been allowed to sleep in. “Who knew waking up beside you would be so nice?” You opened your eyes to see Gally smiling softly at you. You tried not to blush, temporarily forgetting the events that happened last night.

“You guys are disgusting.” Fry suddenly voiced loudly.

“You jealous, Fry?”

“Are you kidding? Of course I am.”

You chuckled weakly at the interaction, but you sat up and stretched, looking around to see the beach lit up in its full glory. “Wow...” You whispered.

Waking up to such a beautiful sight, it did bring a small smile to your face. You wished so badly that Newt and Teresa were there to share it with everyone too, but you tried to shake those thoughts away.

Later that day, you sat beside Minho and Jorge, watching Gally help build something from afar. “He’s lucky to have you.” Minho smirked, picking at the fruit in his hand.

You smiled slightly, not truly believing it. “It’s the other way around really.”

“Well, whatever. You two are good for each other.” Minho rolled his eyes, making you chuckle. “Thomas...” You heard Minho suddenly whisper, and you looked in the same direction he was, seeing that Thomas was indeed walking through the new area.

You and Minho quickly stood up, slowly walking towards Thomas, along with everyone else behind you guys. Thomas’ eyes were tired, just like the rest of yours probably were. He didn’t smile, you couldn’t blame him. There was nothing to say, so Minho brought Thomas into a hug. You were in so much pain from the loss of your cousin, but Thomas was in love with her, you couldn’t imagine how he felt. He lost two of the most important people to him.

You hugged Thomas too, silently communicating each other’s condolences through the gesture.

That night, you and Gally sat next to each other as everyone else gathered to hear Vince speak at the bonfire that was set up, a celebration of sorts of surviving.

“We have come a long way together.” Vince started. “So many have sacrificed so much to make this place possible. Your friends, and your family. So here's to the ones who couldn't be here, here's to the friends we lost. This place is for you. It's for all of us, but this,” He held up a knife, pointing it to the large stone pillar in front of the crowd, “this is for them. So in your own time, in your own way, come make your peace. And welcome to the Safe Haven!” He cheered, the crowd following suit.

You forced yourself to smile as you held up the drink in your hand, following along with the rest of the crowd that were actually happy to be there. You were too, but it was hard to convey those feelings. Celebrating didn’t feel right, not this soon anyway.

You watched as multiple people lined up to carve their fallen friend’s or family’s names onto the pillar. You knew who’s name Minho would carve, it was obvious. But you didn’t expect Gally to get up and carve a name. Of course you were curious, but it seemed like it would be personal.

You had a name in mind, but you looked over to Thomas who was frowning while reading something. You knew Teresa meant something to him too, they were close, almost as close you and her had been when you were kids. But you two were kids, you two grew apart. You didn’t know her in the end, not truly. You knew you didn’t deserve to be the one to carve her name. You would let Thomas be the one.

You thought back to your past, having more names pop up in your head, only one truly sticking out.

You stood up after the crowd cleared, walking to the stone pillar with the knife in hand. You found the place for the name, thankful that the light from the fire still reached. You held up the knife and started carving the name.

You smiled fondly when it was done.

“Who’s that?” Gally walked up behind you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You took a deep breath. “My baby sister...”

“You had a sister?”

“Yeah, my parents wanted me to choose the name, but she got the Flare along with them before I could give her one. It was only a week later that I finally gave her a name...even if she was dead.”

“How old was she?”

You frowned. “...three days old.”

“Y/N...I’m so sorry.”

You turned around to see Gally’s solemn face, but you smiled weakly. “I just have to believe she would’ve been better off, or in a better place.”

Gally only nodded, taking his hands in yours and leading you away to walk along the shore. “Things will be better here.”

“You really think so?” You asked, not sounding very hopeful.

“It have to be. We fought so hard for this.”

“I hope your right, Gally. What’ll life be like here though?” You wondered aloud.

Gally suddenly smiled giddily. “We’ll build our own city.” He nodded confidently, making you scoff.

“Oh really?” You raised your eyebrows skeptically, but a smile playing at the corner of your lips.

“Yeah! And we’ll have parties and bonfires every night.”

You couldn’t help but laugh loudly. “Easy there, tiger. We’ve only been here one day. Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“Come on, dare to dream, Y/N.” He grinned.

“I’ll leave the dreaming up to you, Captain.”

You and Gally stopped and sat on a little incline of the shore to take a break from walking, just watching the sun come up. 

Gally was sitting behind you, his arms wrapped around your shoulders and you leaning into him comfortably. You basked in his body heat, shielding you from the slightly chilly air from the ocean tides. It felt nice, the nicest feeling you’ve felt in the past few days.

You looked up to see Gally’s eyes entranced in watching the waves, his lips naturally upturned in a slight smile.

You leaned up and placed a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw, seeing his eyes briefly close at the feeling and his smile growing into a shy grin. He turned his head and leaned down to place a kiss to your lips. “I love you, you know.”

You grinned. “Yeah, I know. I love you too...so much.”

Looking back to the ocean, you knew you guys were going to be okay now.

~~~~~~~~~~

Welp, yeah...I’m having trouble liking the ending, but I hope y’all do at least. BUT SIKE, this ain’t the end(technically). I’m planning on releasing a bonus chapter reallll soon, for all those heathens that wanted smut ;)

But for those not into that sorta thing, don’t worry! It’s not gonna forward the plot in any way, this chapter is the end of the main story, so you won’t miss anything. Just fluff and smut

[heyitsani]

A Dream Ripping at the Seams

@damianwayneweek fic Reverse Robins

Word Count: 5024

Rating: Teen and up

Warnings: Referenced past child abuse, canonical character death mentioned

Pairing: None

Summary: He had planned the whole thing out.  The moment he had seen the notes in Richard’s file on the computer, he had known he needed to get him out of there and away from Batman as soon as possible.  He refused to lose another brother.  

Saving Richard because he failed to save Todd was his only priority.

Notes: Guess what! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! And it also happens to be Reverse Robins day for Damian Wayne week!  So to celebrate, I wrote this fic to give to all of you lovely people.  But especially those in the RR Discord who are always willing to encourage me to run with an idea that comes up last minute.

Also, this fic ends abruptly and that’s the point.  I might continue it, I might not.  But it’s supposed to feel sudden and full of questions.

To clear up confusion: Dick was 10 when adopted, Jason died when he was 15 and Dick 11, Dick is 12 (nearly 13) when the story starts, and 13 when it ends.

You can also read it on AO3 here

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Damian waited until he had the opportunity to get Richard away from the manor for the afternoon before he approached the subject with the boy.  He hadn’t been certain he would need to, at first, but the longer Richard was in the house with his father the more he saw the signs he had seen with Jason. And that meant he needed to act.

So he had asked Richard if he wanted Damian to pick him up from school one Friday in February so they could go for ice cream before dinner.  Richard had, unsurprisingly, agreed enthusiastically like Damian had known he would.  With the kid’s sweet tooth, he never turned down things like ice cream.  Especially since it wasn’t something the circus really got much of apparently.  Traveling in trailers didn’t allow for too many luxuries like freezers.

“Richard,” Damian started once they were seated on a bench in a local park, not far from a playground that the child was eyeing.  When the sapphire eyes turned on him, Damian took a deep breath and looked directly at him. “I know you have figured out what Father and the rest of us do in the night.”  Richard nodded, smiling as he licked his cone.  “Has Father approached you about training yet?”

The boy nodded again, and Damian pressed his lips together.  Twelve years old.  Twelve.  None of them had been that young outside of himself, but his situation was different. Being born into the League of Assassins made for a different upbringing.  “Is that bad?”

Shaking his head, Damian made sure his face was neutral before speaking again.  “No, but I have concerns.”  The boy blinked at him, but remained silent as though he was waiting for his brother to tell him what it was he was concerned about.  “You do not know of my childhood, but it was far from…pleasant. I was raised in a place called Nanda Parbat that trains people to be the kind of people Batman fights against.”

“But you were a kid?” Richard sounded confused; ice cream forgotten as he tried to sort through what Damian was saying.  And what he wasn’t saying.  “Why would you train a kid like that?”

“Because that was the way things were done there.”

“Then they were done wrong.”

Damian let out a soft laugh, corner of his mouth raising just slightly at the thought of this twelve-year-old child telling him that he had been raised wrong.  “Be that as it may, you are correct that I was a kid and that should not have been my childhood.”

Richard hummed and went back to his ice cream, looking out at a pair of dogs playing in the grass. Damian observed him as he watched the dogs, wondering what he was thinking.  He wasn’t sure how to ask the boy to do what exactly he was thinking, but he just hoped Richard would go along with it.  That he would agree to leave because this was not the life he should be living.

“Dami?”  Richard looked back to him, and Damian raised his eyebrows.  “You don’t want me to train with Batman.”  Damian shook his head.  “Ever?”

And wasn’t that the real question?

Damian wasn’t sure if he wanted Richard, the purest of them all, to be exposed to how ugly the world was the same way the rest of them had been.  It would ruin him.  It would steal the innocence that Damian found himself desperately wanting to protect. It would tear out everything good in him and leave him a shell.  

“Never,” he admitted quietly.  Richard dropped his gaze again and chewed on his lower lip.  “I want you to understand why.  My childhood aside, I do not want to see what happened to Todd happen to you. I do not want you to lose yourself the way I have seen Drake do.  I do not want you to realize the ugly truths of the world long before your time the way Cain or Brown have.  I want to protect you from all of that.”

With brows drawn down, Richard looked at him again.  He was looking at Damian with that look, the one he had seen Cain look at him with too many times to count.  The look that penetrated all the walls and shields he had put around his mind and heart.

“You want me to leave.”

“I want to take you away from here and hide us both until you are able to stand your own against Father on the subject,” he quickly corrected, not wanting Richard to think he wasn’t welcome in the Wayne family.  “I want to protect you from a fate I wish we all could have been protected from.”

Richard took a lick of his ice cream and Damian waited, worried the boy would tell him no and then tell his father everything Damian had planned.  “Okay.”

“Okay?”

Richard nodded.  “Okay.”

And Damian released his held breath, relief washing over him.  He could save one of them, the best of them.  He could do one right thing in his life, a life filled with so many wrong things.

“We leave in a week.” Richard’s eyes turned determined, and he gave a firm nod before looking over toward the playground again.

“Can I play after my ice cream is finished?”  Damian laughed and nodded, too relieved to deny him anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Who is she?”  Richard asked, tugging on the black chuba Damian had selected for himself the moment they had touched down in Tibet.  The weather was fairly cool, and he hadn’t thought to purchase the proper wears before he had put his plan into motion. But thankfully he had anticipated needing to switch enough money into Yuan to get them by for the first couple of months.  It had made purchasing weather friendly clothing for himself and Richard much easier.

Looking down at Richard, Damian frowned and followed his eyeline to the familiar statue that stood at the top of the mountain, guarding over Nanda Parbat.  “She is Ruma Kushna,” he told Richard, who couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the beautiful stone statue.  He couldn’t blame the kid, he had been fascinated with the goddess when he had been younger.  She had been formidable and even his grandfather had spoken highly of the goddess. “She watches over all of those in Nanda Parbat.”

Richard frowned and looked away from the statue, blue eyes skittering over the various people wandering around the market they were making their way through in an attempt to find lodging.  “She is not kind then,” the boy said, looking up at Damian with a fierce look.

“What makes you say that?”

Richard shrugged and looked away, curiosity stealing the boy’s attention once more.  But Damian couldn’t forget that look for stubborn protectiveness that had covered Richard’s face in the moment.  It had been breathtaking if he were honest.  He couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at him like that when they weren’t preparing to fight him for one reason or another.

Pausing at a stall with various spices that smelled familiar and distant at the same time, Damian gave the older woman a friendly smile.  “Tashi delek,” he greeted her, giving a small bow of his head.  “My son and I are looking for lodging, do you know of anyone with vacancies in their home that would spare space for us?  We are willing to pay.”

The woman seemed to consider him closely, glancing from him to Richard and then back again.  He knew his excuse of Richard being his son was flimsy when someone considered their age difference, but it was the story he needed to stick to for the time being.  He couldn’t risk someone looking too deeply into their relation if they thought they were merely brothers.  And Damian would be drawn and quartered before someone took Richard from him and returned him to Bruce.

“I have a spare sleeping quarter if you could spare your strength,” the woman finally replied, kindness heavy in her old eyes.

“Tuchi che!”  Richard exclaimed, smiling brightly at the woman who almost looked surprised at his enthusiasm.  Damian struggled to hold back a smile of his own as he gave the woman a firm nod, silently agreeing to her terms.

“I am Damian and this is Richard.  We are grateful for your hospitality.”  The woman chuckled and waved them off, telling them to scout the market for anything they might need since their packs were small and probably did not hold much out of the bare necessities.  “What should we call you?”

The woman’s smile warmed, and she leaned back.  “I am Amala,” she responded.  “Now go find you both some clothing that is not of the city but of the mountain.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You are al Ghul,” Amala stated as she handed over the cup of tea.  Damian froze, eyes wide as he looked at the woman who still looked at him with that same kindness she had since that first meeting almost four months ago.  But he couldn’t figure out how she could possibly look at him that way if she knew who his family was.  “The League is well known in our village, as small as we may be.  They look after their own on the mountain.  But there were whispers of the Heir refusing to return and the Demon Head demanding justice.”

Looking down at his teacup, cradled in both hands to warm his palms from the cool night air coming in from under the door, he sighed before glancing back toward the corner where Richard was sleeping.  Confirming Amala’s words would put them both in danger of being discovered.  He had picked this village because it meant they were right under his grandfather and mother’s noses.  They would never look for him here.

But if he lied, he risked having to run with Richard again.  And the child was finally settling nicely in the village.  He had made friends with some of the other children and he was catching up on his studies.  The last thing Damian wanted to do was uproot him yet again.  His life had been disrupted enough since the death of his parents.

“I am he,” Damian admitted, looking back to Amala.  The woman smiled knowingly before pressing a finger to her lips in a ‘shhhh’ motion and Damian let out a sigh of relief.  “How did you figure it out?”

The woman shrugged.  “You have your mother’s eyes,” she said, as if that was enough to give it all away.  “And your mother used to bring you down here as a babe, just learning to walk the mountain.  I recognized you the moment you approached my stall at market.”

“Has anyone else?”

“Not that I have heard.”

But that didn’t mean they hadn’t.  If someone told his mother or even one of the footmen, Damian would need to pick Richard up and run.  He wouldn’t have a choice.  He probably should do it now before anyone had the chance to come after them.

“Thank you, for trusting us then.”

Amala waved a hand.  “I could see in your eyes that you were running from something.  That you were protecting your son from something.”  Damian held back the cringe at the word son, knowing she had to have figured out that Richard wasn’t his.  “You are safe in my home.  I will not bring harm upon you.  No matter if it is from up the mountain or from far away.”

Damian swallowed, bowing his head against the onslaught of emotion that hit him from her words.  “Thank you,” he whispered, unable to look at her just yet.  “Protecting him is all I am after.”  He looked over at Richard again and blinked away the tears.  “It is my only goal.”

“And that is what makes you a good father,” she said softly, “blood or not.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Baba!”  Richard called out; voice distorted as it came into the house from outside where he had been helping plant some new seedlings.  “Dami!”  That made Damian pause.  It had been a while since Richard had called him by his name, out of habit or fear Damian couldn’t be sure which.  But it made a small sense of panic arise in his chest and had him dropping the piece he had been sketching and immediately run out the front door.

He froze when he saw a man kneeling in front of Richard, black cloak and hood pulled over his head, hiding his face from Damian but not from Richard.  But when the man looked up, Damian felt his stomach drop.

“No,” he whispered, hurrying forward and pushing Richard behind him as he glared at Timothy Drake, his father’s second eldest but first adopted child.  “You are not welcome here, Drake,” he said lowly, English rusty from lack of use since coming to Tibet.

Drake held up his hands and took a step back, but Damian held tighter onto Richard who tried to move out from behind his legs.  “I am not here to cause trouble, Damian,” Drake offered.  And Damian knew him well enough to know the man was being honest.  But it didn’t mean he could let his guard down. “He doesn’t know I’m here.  He doesn’t know I found you.”

“Trackers.”

“Rerouted.”

Taking a deep breath, Damian glanced around before giving Drake a nod and herding Richard into the house, knowing Drake would following them.  “Richard, go work on your schooling.”  Richard looked up at him, frowning at the order, before glancing over at Drake.  “Now, Richard.”  And though Damian knew the child didn’t want to, Richard walked away with a pout to the table where his schoolwork sat waiting.  “How did you find us?”  

“It wasn’t easy, you covered your tracks better than any of us expected,” Drake said, eyes watching Richard as he took his seat and began writing in the notebook.  Damian could tell he was curious, but Damian needed answers before Drake got his own.  “I looked at footage we had searched through a million times and got lucky.”

“And Father doesn’t know? I’m meant to believe you simply didn’t tell him?  You?”

“He thinks I’m off world with the Titans.”

“That doesn’t answer why you didn’t tell him.”

Drake seemed to consider his answer for a moment before shrugging both his shoulders.  “Dick didn’t seem to be in distress in the footage I found. He looked like he wanted to be with you.”

“I explained it to him before we left.  He agreed to come with me on his own.”

“Why did you take him?”

A familiar anger built in his core and Damian had to push it down with a few deep breaths before he could answer Drake without yelling.  “Because I would not let him sacrifice Richard the same way he sacrificed all of us. Because since losing Todd, he has lost sight of the true mission and we have become nothing but soldiers to him. I would die before I let that man turn Richard another glass case bearing a bloodied suit of armor,” he growled, fists clenched tightly.  

Drake watched him with those eyes, the ones Damian had always hated because it always felt like he was a risk and Drake was calculating how dangerous he was in any given moment.  As if Drake was just like his father, with a file of ways to put an end to Damian because part of him was too dangerous to be trusted.

“Your secret is safe with me,” Drake finally said, looking back to Richard with a nod.  “I didn’t believe you could have taken him for anything other than his own good.”  The cool blue eyes looked back to Damian and had lost some of the calculating look.  “B won’t stop though, Damian.  He’s desperate to find you both even though it’s been over six months.  I don’t know how long until he realizes that you hid both of you in plain sight of the League.  Does Ra’s or Talia know you’re here?”

“Not that they have revealed to me,” Damian admitted.  “Our patron, she knows of my heritage and has sworn an oath of secrecy.  But she is League loyal due to their protection.”

Damian watched Drake fully take in the appearance of the home they were in, the simple nature of it all and Damian couldn’t help but wonder what the man thought of him now.  What did he think of the haughty Wayne heir who had loved to shove that fact in every ones faces, telling them that he was the heir to one of the richest men in the world.  That he was heir to Batman, the Dark Knight.  The Damian standing in front of Drake was far from that person as Damian could probably get.

“This has not only saved him,” Drake finally said, looking directly at Damian.  There was no lie that Damian could see and though he wanted to deny what his brother said, his eyes glanced over to Richard and knew it was the truth. He was not who he had been before they had left Gotham.  He had been losing himself in his own grief and it was only the deep seeded fear of losing yet another family member that forced him to pull out of it and take action.

But he couldn’t admit that to Drake, could he?  “I wouldn’t lose him the way we lost Todd.  I did what I had to do.  He never would have listened.”

“No, he wouldn’t have.”

“And has anything changed?” Drake frowned; eyebrows furrowed. And that was enough of an answer for Damian.  “He’s just become obsessed with finding us instead.”

Drake nodded.  “It’s been bad enough that Superman watches Gotham from afar to keep B from doing something he might regret.”  And Damian knew, yet again, that he had made the right choice in getting Richard away from that.  “Can I give you a burner that only I know about?”  Damian’s eyes snapped back to Drake, having drifted back to Richard yet again.  “I want to be able to give you a heads up if he comes your way.  It might not be much of one, but maybe enough for you to get a head start.”

It wasn’t a bad idea, having that option, but Damian also knew it might give his father access to the pair of them without Drake even knowing.  But Drake did know technology more than anyone else in the family. Perhaps it was a risk he could take.

“All right,” Damian relented, giving a nod.  Drake’s features looked relieved, to the point where Damian wondered if he had made the wrong decision.  But he could work on the device later and see if it had been bugged or tampered with in any way.

Drake dug into his small pack and pulled out a small phone, probably a prototype that Wayne Tech had decided wasn’t worth the trouble.  He quickly showed Damian how to turn it on and use the basic features before it was turned off yet again and Damian was tucking it into the pocket of his pants.

“I need to go, I can’t reroute much longer.  But if you need anything, please call me.  I have your back.”  Damian gave a nod before watching Drake walk over to Richard and kneel down to talk quietly with the teen.  He didn’t bother listening in, knowing Richard would tell him what was said later, but he did watch.  He watched Richard listen and nod, responding with his own words before reaching out and hugging the man around the neck.  

When Drake stood and turned to leave, Damian was fairly certain he saw a sheen of tears in his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian knew something was different the instant he walked into the small house, even if he couldn’t immediately tell what.  It caused him to stop short in the doorway, Richard smacking into him because he had been too absorbed in the book of mathematics one of the men of the village had shared with him.

“Baba, what…?”  The child complained but Damian’s eyes focused on the figure in the corner of the room instead, not answering.

“Mother.”

The woman moved forward, like a serpent seeking prey, into the light with a smirk on her face.  “Son,” she greeted, eyes looking over his ragged appearance from his day of labor with a hint of distain before stopping on Richard. “You really do have too much of your father in you.”

Rolling his eyes, Damian shuffled Richard into the house and nudged him toward their sleeping corner. And though he didn’t think his mother meant them harm, he still kept his body between the two of them and coiled his muscles to prepare for a fight.

“What are you doing here? How did you even know?”

“Oh please, Damian,” Talia sighed and came closer before lounging in one of the chairs near the fireplace.  “Do you honestly think we weren’t aware the moment you landed in Tibet?  That we weren’t tracking you from the very start? You have forgotten your roots.”

Damian narrowed his eyes. “Then why did you wait so long to approach me?”

“Because we did not need you.”  That made Damian tense further.  The League needing him would lead to nothing good, he knew that deep in his core.  “I have something in Nanda Parbat that requires your attention before it can be dealt with.  And no,” she held up a hand to stop his question, “it is not your father. But it does have a link to him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  He couldn’t trust his own eyes in that moment.  It wasn’t possible.  Was it? No, he had seen the body.  He had been there as the coffin had been lowered into the plot and covered with dirt.  He had laid his hand on the tombstone and apologized for not being able to get to him in time.

But that was definitely Jason Todd in front of him.

“How is this possible?”  Damian asked, glad he had put Richard in his old rooms while he handled this.  Richard had known Todd for only a year before he had died. This was not something Damian wanted to expose the teen to before he knew what the point of all of this was.

“We are not certain. We can’t even say how long he has been like this.  He has been dead for nearly 18 months and we have had him here for the past six.” Damian frowned, walking closer to Todd, trying to catch the teen’s eye.  “He is alive and everything is in working order, but it is as though death stole his soul.”

“Of course it did!  He died!”  Damian snapped, looking back at his mother who stood a ways back watching but looked bored.  “We buried him.  We…” Breathing heavily through his nose, Damian looked back to Todd and shook his head.  They had mourned him.  And now he was there, living and breathing but lifeless.  Everything that had made him Jason Todd seemed to have been stripped away.  “What do you intend to do with him?”

His mother’s heels clicked on the marble floor as she moved closer and stopped once she reached the pair. He watched a slender hand reach out and pet the side of Jason’s face.  Annoyed, Damian’s hand shot out and grabbed his mother’s wrist to stop the obscene gesture.  “What do you intend to do with him,” he growled, gripping her wrist tightly and turning to fully face her.  He narrowed his eyes and stared her down, not willing to let her brush him off.  She had brought him here for a reason.

“We will put him in the Pit, of course,” she said, unaffected by the grip he had on her or the look on his face.  “We just wanted to see if a familiar face might wake him up first.”

“Mother,” Damian gasped, releasing her and stepping back.  “We do not put innocents in the Pit.  It is not done.”

Talia raised a brow and Damian glowered.  “There is no ‘we’, Damian.  You made your choice.”

“You cannot do that to him. He had anger before his death.  He was murdered brutally.  These are all things the League has always avoided in resurrections.”  Damian looked over at Jason’s empty eyes and frowned, shaking his head.  “You cannot sentence him to that Madness.  He is a child.”

“He is no more a child than any of you were.  My Beloved has only had one true child in his home and you stole him away in fear of him turning your precious Richard into the same monster each of you fight off daily.” Talia tilted her head, considering him. “You most of all, my son.”

“You created the monster long before he got his hands on it.”

A slender shoulder rose and fell gracefully.  “Perhaps, but you have Demon blood in your veins and you have always been destined for so much more than this charade of a life you have taken up.”

Damian clenched his jaw and looked away from his mother, unable to deny her words.  He knew this farce he and Richard had been living would not sustain them forever, but he knew it was what the teen needed at the moment. If he returned Richard to Gotham, his father would rip the child away from him and Damian would lose him to the fight he desperately wanted to protect Richard from.  The Bat would get into his head and Damian would lose.

No, returning to Gotham would never be an option until Richard was old enough to stand on his own.

“You could remain here. Take up your title again and we could train and teach the boy to be the very best.”  Damian immediately shook his head.  That wasn’t any better than the fate that awaited them in Gotham.  “It is only a matter of time before he finds you. He will exhaust all resources and then call upon me.  He will come to Nanda Parbat and hear the tinkling laughter that reminds him so much of the boy his own son had stolen away from him.  He will follow the sound to a yard where a teen with black hair and sapphire eyes kneels in the dirt, pulling weeds from around the plants that have just begun to sprout.

“He will watch in wonder at the change a year, perhaps two years, has made in the boy.  And then he will see the man who is responsible for the heartache and fear he experienced over that time, standing in the window watching the teen just as he had been.  And he will take him back.  He will threaten them both with everything in his itinerary until there is no choice but to return.”

“And then he will ruin him,” Damian whispered, closing his eyes because he knew his mother was right. It was the fear that kept him up each and every night.  His father would never stop searching and he would eventually get desperate enough to turn to Ra’s for help.  And he would come himself to plead his case because otherwise Ra’s would laugh in his face and behead whoever was foolish enough to come in his stead.

Opening his eyes, he stared into the familiar one watching him closely.  “You win.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian hated that his mother insisted on Richard being in the room with them when Todd was placed in the Pit, but he wasn’t in any position to argue.  He just hoped that nothing happened that would require him to use the sword strapped to his back in order to keep Richard safe.  The last thing he wanted was for the teen to see that side of him, the side that would require him to take up arms against another of his brothers.

But Richard stood just behind him, stubborn look on his face as he watched Todd over near the Pit. The green glow of the waters within gave the room an ethrial look but made Jason look sickly.  With that blank look on his face, Damian felt his heart ache for the boy he remembered.  He had tried harder with Todd than he had with Drake, but it didn’t mean he was the best of brothers.  He hoped the teen knew he had tried.

But emotions had never been his forte.

Thankfully, he was doing even better with Richard than he had with any of the others.  The teen had taught him much more than he ever thought possibly while he had taught the boy what little he had to offer outside of self-defense. Which, he had taught him as well. Just not to the same effect that training to be a Cape would have done.

“Are you ready to witness true magic, Richard?”  Damian frowned over at his mother when she entered the room and moved over to stand with the two of them.  He looked back and down toward the teen, who he found watching his mother with narrowed, untrusting eyes.  Good boy.

Damian had made sure that he always questioned his surroundings and stayed wary of those he didn’t know. Apparently, Talia al Ghul fell in that category.

The woman simply quirked an eyebrow at him before she walked over to where the footmen were getting ready to move Todd to the platform.  Reaching out, Damian tugged Richard closer to him in hopes to shield him from the coming disaster.  His mother might be certain this was a good idea, surely for her own gain, but he knew this was not something that should be done.  But as good of a fighter Damian was, he could not take on the entire League. And he would need to do just that if he wanted to get Todd out of there before he was manipulated and twisted into a shadow of the teen he had been.

“Let us begin,” Ra’s said as he took his place on the opposite side of the Pit.