#I almost put a scene where Kurt is watching the exchange | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

syntheticpoetry · 4 years ago

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Constellations

Summary: When the text comes in from Tina, Kurt can hardly believe what he is reading. When Blaine doesn't respond to his messages he thinks his heart may actually stop beating. AO3 link || FFN Link

Author’s Note: I was watching Shooting Star and overcome with a million emotions, mostly having to do with the fact that we don't get ANY conversation or scene with the NYC gang during this insanely emotional episode. So this is my take on it. A little bit of canon, but a little divergence for the Klaine scene I desperately wanted to see as well as Kurt, Santana, and Rachel’s reactions. I promise there is a happy ending in this through the rollercoaster of emotions that is Blaine's mind during this absolutely horrifying ordeal. Big thanks to @roxymusicandlayers for beta reading this for me!

“And I am lost, so lost, but you’re the constellations that guide me.”

_________________________________________________________

“Alright guys, start texting and tweeting, whatever social media you use. Let everyone know what’s going on here. But don’t say where we are, shooters have smartphones too.”

Blaine hears Mr. Schue’s urgent whisper as though he is underwater. The words sound muffled and heavy with the depth of the room’s collective terror embedded into every upturned syllable. Despite his best effort to keep the hysteria at bay, they know he is just as frightened as they are. Blaine bites his lip and remains so still that every muscle starts to quiver, threatening to give way. The burn feels familiar, like the ache he gets from lifting weights in the gym with Sam, and he pushes through the pain as though it is just one more rep away before they can finally rest.

Any slight movement will betray his feigned composure and he knows the domino effect of his breakdown will begin. Around him the gentle, frantic padding of fingers against glass echoes around the room like a discordant symphony of additional gunshots. He knows they are not as loud as they actually sound in his head. But the panic in his chest still swells. He hugs his knees tighter. The small movement is enough to send the first wave of tears down his cheeks. He bites his lip harder and tries to focus on the pain of teeth against flesh instead.

‘I should do what they’re doing. Pick up your phone. Keep it together.’

“Blaine, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” Sam reaches a hand out and the touch of his fingers against Blaine’s forearm sends thunderbolts up his spine. “Where’s your phone?”

Blaine opens his mouth to speak and instead gasps loudly, the breath shuddering on the sharp intake of air. He claps a hand over his mouth and squints his eyes shut as more tears come. His mistake was moving at all. Statues never cry. He stretches out one leg and wrenches the phone from his pocket to see it at 1% battery. With one hand pressed firmly against quivering lips, the muffled whisper comes convulsing out in staccato bursts. “It’s— it’s almost— d-d—”

He can’t bring himself to say the word dead. As though breathing life into it will somehow fulfill some unspoken prophecy, and he is bound to doom them all by simply uttering it. Sam squeezes his arm and whispers back, “Do you want to text anyone with my phone?”

Blaine nods frantically when his phone screen finally turns to black. He gingerly places it on the ground in what feels like slow motion, taking extreme care not to make a sound, and extends his hand out to Sam. He thinks back to Mr. Schue’s garbled words and wonders if they really are underwater.

“I can’t get in touch with my mom,” The subdued sound of Marley’s panicked sobbing ricochets off of the walls. “She won’t respond! What if she— there’s no back way out of the kitchen!”

While Kitty and Jacob whisper empty reassurances Blaine stares at Sam’s phone in his hand like it is a foreign object. He knows what he is supposed to do with it, but the phone numbers in his mind are written in invisible ink.

‘I can’t even remember my parents’ phone numbers. Oh god, what if we die in here. What if I never see them or Cooper or Kurt—”

A flash of hands clasped tight, buried deep into a mattress fills his vision. The breathy whisper of his own name makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. His trembling thumbs begin to fly seamlessly over the keypad and he has never been so thankful for autocorrect before. Just as he hits send the dull pounding sound of running footsteps in the hall crescendos until—

Rattle! Rattle! Rattle!

The jittering of the door handle makes them all collectively jump as though this is just another lesson in synchronisation for their next competition. Blaine’s heart slithers its way into his throat, and he drops the phone. It slides away from him and bumps into Sam’s ankle. Sam’s leg jerks and sends it careening across the floor of the choir room where it settles underneath the piano. The entire scene is something straight out of a shitty comedy movie that feels completely unbelievable, like the chances of something like this happening are one in a million. The irony of the realm of impossibilies reaching its peak today is not lost on him. The entire room stills. Blaine wishes that stupid ticking of the metronome in the center of the room would. Just. Stop. It feels like a countdown.

Smash!

Blaine jumps again and presses his hand harder to his mouth to suppress the sound that begs for escape. He hugs his knees closer to his chest in a one-armed embrace and tries to will the demon perched on his shoulder whispering unpleasantries to vanish. The burn settles in again. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Artie struggling to sit himself up against the cabinets. He wants to move, wants to help him; but when he tries to unhook his arm from his knees, nothing happens. He continues spectating as Sam begins lifting Artie up by his shirt until he’s sitting comfortably upright. Then he witnesses the moment of pure panic in his best friend’s eyes right before Sam hisses frantically to Mr. Schue, “Brittany doesn’t have her phone, she’s in the bathroom! She’s all alone!”

___________________________________________________

“Oh honey, no goddamn way!” Kurt snatches the remote back from Rachel. “Santana and I were here first, you don’t just get to come in and throw a hissy fit about having a bad day so you can put on whatever you want. How do you know we didn’t have a bad day too?”

Santana averts her attention from the television to watch them instead, positively beaming. Their fights are honestly her favourite thing to watch. Always far more entertaining than whatever trashy reality shows she and Kurt had been immersing themselves in lately. Today it had been a marathon of the first season of Rock of Love.

“Well, considering you’re both in the exact same spot I left you in this morning I seriously doubt it,” Rachel huffs loudly and sinks down into a creaky wicker chair, arms folded tightly across her chest. Kurt rolls his eyes at her and changes the channel back before the gentle buzzing of his phone across the coffee table distracts him from Rachel’s moodiness.

“Go make some popcorn and I’ll let you vent— oh,” Kurt stares down at his phone.

“What?” Rachel lowers her arms, keeping them folded across her stomach still, and exchanges her scowl for curiosity.

“Sam texted me, he usually never…” The rest of his sentence trails off once he opens the message, leaving them to stare. He loosens his grip and drops his hands against his thighs, the phone resting precariously on his open palms. After the fourth quick scan of the text the message still does not seem to sink in.

Sam 12:36 p.m. I love you so much and I’m so sorry about everything that happened I’m so glad I got to see you at the wedding you’re amazing and deserve everything in the world I’m so proud of you don’t ever settle for anyone less than perfect because that’s exactly what you are

‘This can’t be for me.’

“Kurt, what is it? What’s wrong?” Rachel leans over, her palms on her knees now, her brows furrowed in concern.

“What’s Trouty mouth saying?” Santana snatches the phone from him. He does not even protest her invasion of privacy, his brain is too busy slicing through the fog to decrypt the reasoning behind the message. She frowns and looks between the screen and Kurt a few times. “Did I miss the part when you and Sam got together? No way my gaydar is that far off.”

“There’s no way that’s for me. He obviously meant to send it to someone else. Do you think he meant it for Mercedes?” Kurt plucks the phone back from her hands to reread the message before typing out a reply.

Kurt 12:44 p.m. I don’t think you meant this for me?

“What did it say?” Rachel pipes up and cranes her neck to try to read over Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt tilts the phone to show her. “Ooooh, wait did something happen between them at the wedding? Wasn’t he there with Brittany then though?” Kurt shrugs and scrolls through his contacts until he lands on Mercedes’ name.

Kurt 12:50 p.m. Okay maybe random question but is there something going on with you and Sam again? I got the weirdest message from him just now

Mercedes 12:55 p.m. ???? What did he say?

Kurt takes a screenshot of the message and forwards it to her.

Mercedes 1:00 p.m. Omg nope nothing happened with us at the wedding. Maybe he meant to send it to Brittany? Has he not replied?

Kurt 1:02 p.m. Nope

Tina’s name flashes across the top of his screen in a drop down banner and he taps on it. “Oh my god.” The words come out small and frightened as he reads the message. “Tina just said—”

“She just texted me too,” Santana replies in an eerily despondent voice that Kurt has never heard her speak in before. It suddenly makes the situation feel ten times more real. For once, she’s silent as she stares down at her own phone, frantically typing out a text.

“Me too,” Rachel whispers. “Oh my god, do you think everyone is okay?” She stands and crosses the room, pacing by the window as she rereads the text over and over again. “Kurt, have you heard from Blaine?”

‘Blaine.’

Kurt cannot find the words to respond to her as he taps on his favourites list. Blaine’s name is still at the very top. He had told himself he had never gotten the chance to adjust the list and remove him after their breakup. Really, he never had the heart to erase his name. The sight of it now makes his throat constrict. He tries to speak but no sound comes out.

“Brittany isn’t texting me back. Neither is Sam,” Santana borders on hysterical as she grips her phone between her hands like it is her only lifeline. Kurt mimics her action as he composes a text to Blaine.

Kurt 1:10 p.m. Tina texted me are you ok

“Has anyone heard anything from anyone else?” Rachel asks. Neither of them respond.

Kurt cannot look away from Blaine’s name. The feeling washes over him suddenly and intensely, dragging his logical mind into the riptide of superstitious terror as he recites the name silently like a mantra. If he looks away, he might lose him forever. It doesn’t make any sense to think that way. He knows it. But it provides some tiny semblance of comfort and control as he tethers himself to it and waits for a response. Two long minutes pass by and still nothing comes. Tina’s name and phone number fills the screen, swallowing Blaine’s name, and he finally finds his voice, the words frantic and choppy as he taps multiple times to decline the call, “Someone call Tina, she’s calling me. Someone call her so she stops calling me!”

The sight of Blaine’s name again anchors him down once more and the rest becomes background noise.

'Please be okay. Please be okay. I’m never saying goodbye to you, you idiot. Just text me back. Please.’

__________________________________________________________

“Mr. Schue, I have to get to her! I have to make sure she’s okay!”

Blaine watches, horrorstuck, as Mr. Shue and coach Beiste struggle to restrain Sam. He is thrashing wildly in their arms, his quivering voice crescendoing past the panicked whispers that everyone else has adapted. It isn’t until coach Beiste whispers something in his ear that Blaine cannot hear, and Sam locks eyes with him that he finally settles down. Blaine exhales sharply, lungs blazing and heart thudding at the base of his throat, and realizes he must have been holding his breath at some point. Sam slinks back over to their corner and sits beside Artie, his head hanging down in defeat. Blaine tries to parrot back the same empty promises Sam had whispered earlier, wants to tell him everything will be okay even though he is not quite sure if he believes it himself, but nothing comes out.

“Maybe she’s with Tina,” Artie whispers hopefully to Sam. “Maybe she isn’t alone.”

Blaine takes note of Artie’s lack of confidence and how he is careful not to speak in absolutes. But maybe he is right. He thinks about the word maybe in the context of his life. Maybe Kurt did not want to admit how much their hookup at the wedding had meant. Maybe he and Kurt really are back together. Maybe Kurt still loves him. Maybe he will see him again when this entire ordeal is finally over with. ‘Maybe’ starts to feel like a pretty good word the more he thinks about it. ‘Maybe’ feels like hope. ‘Maybe’ feels like a second chance.

The sound of a door opening breaks through Blaine’s inner dissection of the word, and he looks over just in time to see Mr. Schue skulking out of the door. It reminds Blaine of one of Finn’s video games about spies and stealth. Maybe they will get another chance to play it together after this. He clings to that and tries to focus on the upcoming Friday night dinner with him, Burt and Carole as Marley’s sobbing continues to grow louder. Her gasps for air further enforces his previous belief. Maybe they really are underwater.

It isn’t long before the choir room door opens again and a collection of cheerleaders rushes in followed by Mr. Schue. Blaine watches Sam vault off of the cabinets like a spring loaded toy to pull Brittany into his arms. She has never looked so terrified before. But there is no sign of Tina amongst the red and white uniforms. Blaine forgets about the maybe’s floating around his brain like buoys at sea and feels like he is drowning again. He twists his head away and stares down pathetically at the blank screen of his cellphone, willing it to magically come alive.

‘How could I have forgotten to charge it? I used to lecture Kurt about this all the time.’

Maybe it is a sign. Maybe it is a metaphor of sorts.

He does not know when Artie began recording them with his phone, but the start of Marley’s hiccuped confession fills his lungs with water again. “In the bottom of my desk drawer,” She breaks off to compose herself. The volume of her crying sends off alarm bells in Blaine’s head and he tunes out the rest of her message. He looks towards the hastily strewn barricade against the door. Maybe it will prove to be sturdy, but it does not feel like enough. The continued tapping of fingers against glass screens fills in the gaps of silence between the metronome and scattered crying when Artie pans the camera onto Blaine. It feels like a slow dance towards a death sentence. Maybe the rhythmic ticking really is a countdown.

“Blaine, do you want to say anything to anyone?”

He drops his face down into his knees. Maybe he should take the opportunity to leave behind one tiny fragment of his life before he becomes another forgotten statistic. But Artie has already redirected the phone towards Sam and Brittany when Blaine looks up again. Maybe he has missed his chance. ‘Maybe’ starts to feel like a cursed word now. Like something sinister and evil and concrete. Maybe he has inflated the word with too much hope causing some sort of rebound effect. Maybe—

“All clear!”

The words break through the hurricane in the choir room and suddenly everyone is getting to their feet except Blaine, who still feels sluggish and dazed. Sam and Brittany approach him and hold out their hands. He stares at their open palms, trembling and sweaty, and his body acts before his brain does to grasp them. They lift him up like he is made of helium despite the lead shackles he envisions around his ankles. He becomes aware of Sam’s arms around him and shakes away the anchors in his own arms to return the embrace. The burn is still there, leaving his muscles fatigued and weak, but he cannot bring himself to let go now that he has latched on.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. See? We’re okay,” Sam whispers against his ear before Blaine realizes why he is taking such extra care to console him. The sound of his own sobbing, punctuated by rattling intakes of air, reminds him why he tried to remain so still at the start of all of this. He buries his face deep in Sam’s neck to muffle the sound and feels the addition of Brittany’s slender arms around both of them, leaving him sandwiched in between. The shuffling sound of footsteps towards the door leads to the eventual end of the embrace and Sam jogs over to the piano, crouching down to retrieve his phone before they join hands and follow everyone else on the way to the parking lot.

“Blaine, I have a charger in my car.” Sam says as he raises his phone to his ear. Brittany slips her hand away from Blaine and he hears her whimpering Santana’s name before seeing she has also pulled out her phone. Blaine laces his fingers with Sam and clings tightly as they weave their way through the crowd towards Sam’s car. “Mom, hey I’m okay. We’re okay. We’re outside now— please don’t cry, I promise I’m okay.”

When Sam finally pulls his hand free, Blaine thinks he might just float away. It takes Sam only a few seconds to wrench open the car door and jam his key into the ignition. “Blaine, here— Wait, Kurt’s calling my phone. Mom, let me take this, and I’ll call you right back? Blaine’s phone died, he has no way to— yes, I’ll be right home as soon as I can. I love you too.”

Blaine’s fingers are numb by the time Sam has pressed the phone into his hand. Kurt’s frantic, breathless voice breathes life into them, and he curls them tightly around the device just before it is about to fall. “Sam! Brittany called Santana and said you guys made it out. I can’t get in touch with Blaine, is he—”

“It’s me,” Blaine exhales and the volume of Kurt’s sob makes his knees shake. He leans against the car door but slides down it as Kurt continues to cry loudly in his ear.

“Why weren’t you answering me?” Kurt sputters out, his voice traversing the length of his entire vocal range like a warmup.

“My phone died, that’s why I texted you with Sam’s—”

“You didn’t say it was you!” Kurt’s voice rises three octaves. Blaine presses the phone closer to his ear like it will actually close any of the distance between them. “I thought it was a mistake! I thought it was Sam! Why didn’t either of you get back to me on— Blaine, are you crying or laughing?”

“Both, I think,” Blaine responds airily between watery laughter. In the timespan of less than two hours he feels as though he has mastered every element associated with human emotion. The fire in his lungs has been reduced to embers as Kurt’s voice continues to blanket him. The laughter should feel inappropriate, but it feels like letting go. It feels like a release. He finally feels grounded. “The stupid phone— it was insane— I dropped it and Sam kicked it under the piano— if you saw it— I’m sorry, I don’t know why I can’t stop laughing, but it just feels so good to hear your voice again. I thought I was never going to hear it again or see you or—”

“Don’t you ever, ever, write a message to me like that again!” Kurt interrupts his rambling and suddenly the laughter becomes lodged in his throat. Maybe he had been wrong to assume all of those ideas about them earlier. Maybe Kurt’s next few words will feel like an actual gunshot wound.

“Kurt, I’m sorry, I thought—”

“I told you I’m never saying goodbye to you,” Kurt parades through his apology, trying to sound bold and certain. Blaine can see the hairline cracks in the foundation as Kurt wavers through the next command. “Don’t you ever try to say goodbye to me like that again, do you understand me?”

“Understood,” He replies with the remnants of his previous laughter, the solitary sound coming out strangled and relieved all at once. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You’re sorry you—” The way he says it sends shivers down Blaine’s spine. It is the same breathy exhale that had been reserved for their night in the hotel as their hands sank deeper and deeper into the mattress. “Blaine, you must have been fucking terrified, how can you focus on me?”

“Because I love you,” Blaine says simply. For once there is no anxiety or fear to cage the confession. It flies freely over the soundwaves and he does not worry about the reply because he already knows the response without Kurt having to say it. But Kurt says it anyways.

“I love you too.”

‘Maybe’ starts to feel like a second chance again. ‘Maybe’ feels like a promise.

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mollyellee · 4 years ago

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beneficial {seblaine week sneak peek}

Hi everyone! I can’t WAIT for Seblaine Week this year. I’ve actually been working on my longest fic yet, and it’s going to fulfill both the College and the Friends With Benefits prompts (and probably Free Day, tbh). It’s ~27,000 words and basically done except for final edits, and I’m too anxious to wait any longer to share, so I figured I would post a little sneak peek to get everyone excited!

More details to come when the full fic is posted, but it’s a NYADA AU where most of our McKinley friends are in attendance and living in the same apartment building. Blaine was never a Warbler, he attended all 4 years of high school at McKinley and dated Kurt the whole time, but they broke up Senior Year. He and Sebastian are friends, but very casually. Blaine and Santana live together and get along famously (I have a thing for this friendship apparently). And The Nest is the Warblers’ apartment, where Nick, Jeff and Sebastian live; the rest you’ll just have to wait to find out! See you on July 12!

When Saturday night comes around, everyone starts pouring into The Nest: Rachel and Kurt are begging Nick, the de facto DJ, to play at least one show tune (he refuses), Mercedes is belting out a song on the cheap karaoke machine and Sam and Blaine are playing beer pong.

Well, Sam is playing; Blaine is getting his ass kicked.

He’s downing what feels like his thousandth beer of the night when he feels someone give him a small hip bump. He shows Sam the empty cup and looks up to see Sebastian standing at his side.

“Not to insult you, but you know you absolutely suck at this, right?”

Blaine laughs a little too loudly, “I’m sorry, but which part of that wasn’t supposed to be insulting?”

Sebastian always has a quick response. “That you’re smart enough to know it. Plus, if memory serves, you weren’t always this bad.”

A memory flashes through Blaine’s mind, one he had almost forgotten.

This isn’t something he and Kurt would ever normally do, but he and Kurt aren’t exactly normal these days. Santana had come into Glee Club earlier in the week, saying that the Warblers were throwing a party at one of their member’s houses this weekend and they should all go in the spirit of healthy competition.

And if she could get drunk and make out with one of the girls from the other schools, so she wouldn’t have to have that awkward “what are we” conversation the next day, well, that was a pretty nice bonus too.

“This will be fun, right?” Kurt is speaking just to interrupt the silence as Blaine drives, and Blaine smiles politely.

“Yeah, it’ll be good to get to know some of the Warblers a little better.”

“Well, you’re already friends with a couple of them, aren’t you?” The question isn’t meant to sound accusatory, but Blaine can’t help but wonder if Kurt is trying to figure out if something is going on behind his back.

It’s not. Blaine is too heartbroken about what’s happened with his first love to even think about being with anyone else.

“Not really,” Blaine says quietly, and that effectively ends the conversation. They’ve been fighting a lot lately, and neither of them want to say anything that will push the other too far. When they arrive at Nick’s house, the party is already in full swing and Blaine hears Rachel shout “Kurt!” almost as soon as they walk in the door. Kurt gives him a half smile and goes to join her and Mercedes. Blaine hates that his boyfriend leaving his side relieves some of the tension, but it does, and he instantly spots Sam over by the kitchen counter, mixing drinks and laughing with some of the Warblers.

“Hey, what’s up bro? Want a drink?”

“Please!” Blaine knows Kurt hates it when he drinks too much, but Kurt is already out of sight and he needs something to calm him down. Sam pours him a fruity concoction that barely tastes like alcohol and has the capacity to be very dangerous. He takes a sip and gives Sam a thumbs up signaling his approval when a figure jogs up beside him.

“All right listen up, I’m putting together a team to destroy Trent and Jeff, who’s in?”

Blaine turns to his left and there is Sebastian Smythe, another Warbler he has met in person only briefly, but they did exchange numbers at that meeting. So, if they’ve texted a little since then, it’s harmless, right? He’s felt lonely lately, he’s just looking for a friend.

It’s just a coincidence that Sebastian also happens to be incredibly good looking.

“Anderson, looks like you’ve got a fresh drink. Care to join me?”

“What am I agreeing to?”

“Smart question to ask,” Nick says with a laugh and Sebastian gives him the finger before explaining, “Beer pong. But we play with water, so you can bring your shockingly red drink too.”

“It’s party punch!” Sam yells as Sebastian leads Blaine away from the kitchen island to a table set up outside in the backyard. He doesn’t notice Sebastian’s hand on his lower back until it’s gone, but when it’s no longer there, the feeling lingers.

Sebastian reaches for his drink on the table and Blaine notices the cups have already been arranged. He’s seen enough movies, he knows what beer pong looks like, but he’s never actually played. Hell, he’s never really even been to a party except that one night at Rachel’s, but they don’t talk about that.

“Okay, you’re gonna think I’m totally lame, but I have absolutely no clue how to play,” Blaine admits, but Sebastian just smiles, and god, this punch must be strong because his stomach is doing somersaults.

“It’s okay, Trent knows how to play and he sucks ass at it, so you’ll be fine.”

Trent scoffs from the other side of the table and Blaine laughs, relieved, as Sebastian explains the rules to him.

And then the game begins, and he is shockingly good. Almost every ball he throws goes in and Sebastian cheers every time he makes a shot, which feels warm in his chest for some inexplicable reason. And then he realizes, he’s happy to be appreciated.

“You undersold yourself, Anderson. Sure you’re not hustling us?”

“Well, it would be pretty pointless to hustle my own teammate, wouldn’t it?” Blaine takes the last sip of his drink, batting his eyelashes just a little, and is he...flirting?

Sadly, (or thankfully?), he doesn’t get to find out the answer as he’s brought out of his trance by someone shouting “Blaine!” He turns his head and there is Kurt, walking toward him, clearly irritated. Fuck, had he seen him flirting with Sebastian?

He starts, “Kurt, it was nothing, we were just…” but Kurt is already on his own train of thought.

“Can we go? Rachel has had way too much of whatever that party punch is, and she’s making a big scene with Santana, and I’m just over it.”

“I…” He looks back to Sebastian who is standing at the table with his hands up in a “don’t get me involved” gesture and sighs, turning back to his boyfriend.

Guess the clock has struck midnight.

“Okay, sure.” Kurt looks relieved and is already heading for the door. Blaine smiles politely, “It was a pleasure being your partner, Sebastian.”

“Hey, maybe we can do it again sometime,” the Warbler says with a smirk, and all Blaine wants to do is stay.

But all he can do right now is go.

“So then I guess I should be smart enough to ask you to be my partner...again?” Blaine smiles and throws the ball back.

And for what feels like the first time all night, it goes in.

“Definitely,” Sebastian grins, “Evans! Grab a partner, Anderson’s called in the cavalry.”

“Brittany!” Sam calls and the girl peeks her head out from the kitchen where she and Santana have been adding more vodka to the jungle juice. He motions her over and she nods, rushing over, drink in hand. She points across the table, “Wait, is this our competition?”

Blaine feigns like he’s just been shot in the chest, and Sebastian stands up straighter, motioning between himself and Blaine. “Listen, this team may have been lacking in talent before, but I’m on board now. Let’s rack 'em up.”

“You can’t talk this way about your own teammate!” Blaine playfully slaps Sebastian on the arm and Sebastian leans over to murmur conspiratorially, “All part of the strategy” and his breath feels warm in their close proximity. Blaine thinks he’s clearly had too much to drink, but hey, he only lives down the hall.

Sam and Sebastian set up the cups, and the game begins. Sebastian must be a good luck charm because every ball Blaine sends flying is managing to hit its intended target. At one point, they’re doing so well that Blaine whispers something in Sebastian’s ear which causes both Brittany and Sam to quirk an eyebrow. The next time Blaine makes a shot, he and Sebastian perform an elaborate handshake and Sam’s mouth falls open in shock. He certainly did not expect his and Blaine’s secret handshake from when they ran for Student Council to be used against him.

“Dude, not cool!”

“All part of the strategy,” Blaine says with a shrug and a smirk, and Sam turns to Brittany and says, “Okay, handshake meeting after this game.”

They all laugh and finish the game, which Blaine and Sebastian win easily, and that’s when Blaine realizes that most everybody has already taken off. Nick and Jeff are on the couch playing video games and Santana is sitting on a barstool next to their game, chatting with Brittany, but everyone else seems to have left while they were wrapped up in their tournament. Even Sam looks around and finds himself dateless.

“Damn, lost the game and lost my girl too,” he says with (mostly) fake resignation and Blaine laughs from the other side of the table. Santana hums and clarifies, “Nah, she just said she’d rather go to sleep than continue to watch you get humiliated.”

“See, aren’t you glad you don’t have someone to talk about you like that?” Sebastian murmurs low to Blaine, but clearly not low enough as he’s soon on the receiving end of a glare from Sam. Sebastian shrugs unapologetically in response.

Santana hops off her stool and holds out her hand to Blaine, “Come on, Anderson, I need my beauty rest.”

“Psst lies,” he responds dramatically, and they both giggle, and okay, he’s definitely had too many. He turns back to Sebastian and smiles, “Thanks for being a great partner.”

Sebastian smirks back and Blaine definitely doesn’t feel his insides melting at his response. “Maybe we can do it again sometime.”

He and Santana leave and walk the short distance to their apartment, arms around each other’s waists. She reaches over and boops his nose. “Well, you are very good at that game, aren’t you?”

“Shut up, you’re drunk,” he responds, but can’t manage to wipe the smile off of his face.

#seblaine #blaine anderson #sebastian smythe #seblaine fic #seblaine week #seblaine week sneak peek #author: mollywritesseblaine

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silverfoxclawwriter93 · 5 years ago

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When Their ‘Favorite Person’ is Jealous. (BNHA x Marvel/ DC Fem Reader

Bakugou Katuski vs. Damian Wayne

After Bruce had gained custody over Damian and his older sister from Talia, they had managed to create a familial bond that they never thought they’d have. They still had each other’s backs much like when Talia had trained them to be the perfect assassination team but they were now doing it out of love not out of plain loyalty to their mother. They had gotten better, (Y/n) was actually pretty social, but Damian knew that no matter happened that he’d still be his Ukht’s ‘favorite person’.

At least, that’s what he believed until now.

“Ukht, Jason and Tim want to go to the arcade. Will you be joining us?” Damian asked, peeking through his sister’s doorway.

“Sorry, Shaqiq, but I made plans to show Bakugou around Gotham,” She hissed apologetically, “You can go ahead without me.”

It seems as though Damian’s been going without (Y/n) a lot lately, ever since that Japanese exchange student arrived. Last month, his father agreed to be a foster parent to a hero and training and they got stuck with the egotistical hothead from U.A. (Y/n) was quick to warm-up to him and it seemed to be mutual on his part, too. Now, they seemed to be a unit that couldn’t go anywhere without the other.

“I’m sure he knows his way around by now, Ukht. Take a break and hang out with us.” Damian pleaded.

(Y/n) looked up from her book and raised a brow, “Don’t I say that to you?”

Damian only rolled his eyes and walked away from her room, stomping down the hallway like an angry child. Jason and Tim looked a little worried when they saw Damian walk down the stairs alone.

“(Y/n)’s not coming?” Jason asked.

“No, she’d rather spend time with Bakugou,” Damian growled, venom was evident in his tone.

Tim only looked at Jason in concern, as though debating whether or not they should get involved. Damian often got jealous when he felt like someone was pushing him out of his sister’s life and was quick to put them in their place (They all found that out pretty quickly), but Bakugou was just as stubborn as Damian was. Meaning this was going to end up very badly.

Deku vs. Jon Kent

Jonathan Kent might’ve been a hero but he was also a child, a very selfish child.

“Hey (Y/n)! Wanna play Overwatch with me and Conner?” Jon asked, flying over to (Y/n).

She was currently on the phone with Izuku, the kid that their father chose to foster, and excused herself from the conversation and turned to Jon.

“Sorry, Jonny but I’m heading to the mall with Izuku today. He needs a change of clothes after what you did to his suitcase.” (Y/n) reminded.

Jon swore that he only used his heat vision on Izuku’s suitcase because he saw a really big bug on it although (Y/n) wasn’t so convinced. It seemed like he couldn’t convince her as much as he did before Izuku started living with them and he hated it.

“I said it was an accident,” Jon frowned, crossing his arms over his chest before glaring at his sister, “but you don’t even play with me anymore! C’mon, it’ll be fun! I promise!” (Y/n)’s face softened and Jon almost thought that she would agree. Instead, she ruffled his hair with her hand and gave him a peck on his forehead.

“Sorry, Jonny, but I really want to help Deku out. He’s still not very good with his English so I need to be there for him.” (Y/n) explained.

“No! You just want to be with him!” Jon retorted, turning away from her.

(Y/n) let out a sad sigh before saying that she and Izuku will be back by the afternoon and asked Jon if he wanted anything from the mall.

“A new sister.” He huffed.

The (h/c)-haired Kent only looked sadly at her younger brother before flying away from the fortress, leaving Jon all alone at the entrance. Conner walked in and noticed the change in his younger brother’s mood.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

Jon just pushed past him and walked to his room, slamming the door behind him as hard as he could. Kara only looked at Conner with a questioning look and he only shrugged in response.

Jon stuffed his face in his pillow, the strong urge to just scare off Izuku so he could get his sister back was tempting, but he needed to be smart about this. He needed to remind (Y/n) that he was more important than dumb Deku.

Shoto Todoroki vs. Morgan Stark

(Tony is alive because he’s alive in my heart!)

“So...this is some lovely tea you made.” Happy coughed awkwardly, shifting in the plastic pink chair.

Instead of replying, Morgan just glared at the empty (f/c)-colored chair that her older sister was supposed to be but chose to go to the movies with Shoto. (Y/n) Stark was very outgoing and social but she’d always make time for Morgan no matter what. In fact, they were both featured on the magazine cover for being the closest siblings despite the significant age gap between them.

Now (Y/n)’s sharing magazine covers with the foster child their father Tony had applied for, Shoto Todoroki.

Suddenly it was Shoto this, Shoto that. Shoto’s so cute or Shoto’s so smart. Morgan’s cute and smart yet (Y/n) hasn’t been talking about her as much as she would’ve liked lately. Happy seemed to notice that Morgan was feeling left out and tried to fill in her sister’s shoes, but he was doing a god awful job at it.

“Morgan, where’s your sister?” Tony asked, peeking into the girl’s room.

Happy tried to silence him but Morgan only glared harder at the empty plastic chair while she spoke to her dad, “With Shoto.”

“Actually, Mr. Stark, they just came back from the movies,” JARVIS informed them.

Laughter and talking filled the once silent room and came closer and closer until (Y/n) and Shoto were in view.

“Did you two enjoy the movie?” Tony smiled, looking down at them warmly.

“Yeah! Shoto you totally called it when you told me that the mafia boss was her real dad!” (Y/n) awed at the white and red-haired male.

“It was obvious and I think I know what they’ll do for a second movie.” Shoto chuckled.

“Really? What?” (Y/n) asked, linking her arm with Shoto’s much to Morgan’s displeasure.

“Sissy!” Morgan called out, doing her best cutesy voice.

(Y/n) and Shoto turned to look at the little girl who was dressed as a princess and feathery boa. She stood up from her seat and hugged (Y/n)’s leg, looking up at her with sparkling brown eyes.

“I missed you! Are you going to have tea with me and Happy?” Morgan asked innocently.

(Y/n) gave her little sister a pitying smile, “I would love to, Morgy, but I want to spend the day with Shoto. I promise I’ll come by later.”

Morgan frowned but said she understood. (Y/n) pecked her younger sister’s cheek before standing up and walking over to Shoto. Shoto kneeled down and smiled at Morgan.

“Thanks for sharing (Y/n) with me. Do you want me to come to your tea party, too?” He smiled, but Morgan only looked at him with no expression on her face.

“No, there’s only room for (Y/n). Sorry.” Morgan beamed.

It may have sounded innocent to other’s but they didn’t see the look in her eyes, the look that made Shoto feel slightly uneasy. Morgan went back to her spot to continue hosting her tea party as Shoto gaped at her. He snapped out of it when (Y/n) began to tug his arm to lead him to her workshop to show him her newest addition to her armor.

Morgan only watched in satisfaction as Shoto stared at her with wide eyes the entire time.

Mezo Shoji vs. Kurt Wagner

“Woah! You’re so cool, Shoji!” (Y/n) gasped, watching as Shoji threw the practice robot away from her.

Kurt only glared at the scene, his tail swinging slowly behind him, and his fangs were revealed when he let out a low growl.

“Thanks, are you okay?” Shoji asked, helping the mutant girl up.

“Yeah, you’re my hero.” (Y/n) cheered, hugging him.

(Y/n) was a sweet girl whose parent’s sent her to Xavier’s Institute so she could control her powers, she was the first person that gave Kurt a chance and really got to know him. She looked out for him and doted on him like an older sister, he always wanted an older sibling. He felt safe with her around, her attention made him feel special, but now her attention was no longer on him.

“(Y/n), are jou okay? That robot did some serious damage!” Kurt shouted, teleporting in front of Shoji and pretending to look (y/n) for damages.

“I’m fine, bruised but fine.” (Y/n) chuckled light-heartedly.

“I can take you to zhe infirmary if jou vant!” Kurt offered, letting his German accent take over since he remembered the (h/c)-ette telling him how cute she thought it was.

“But you’ll be late for your classes,” (Y/n) pointed out, frowning, “I really don’t want you to get in trouble because of a few minor injuries.”

“It’s all gut! As long as I know jou’re safe, it’ll all be worth it.” Kurt insisted, hugging you gently to prove his point.

“You don’t need to trouble yourself, Kurt. I can take (Y/n) to the infirmary, my next class is on the way.” Shoji, the foreign exchange student, offered.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea,” (Y/n) agreed, “You won’t be late to classes and won’t have to be worried since Shoji is with me!” Before Kurt could protest, Shoji had already scooped the (h/c)-haired girl up and began to walk to the infirmary. (Y/n) thanked him for his concern and reminded him to not be late. Kurt watched as they disappeared into the institute with a sad look on his face. Then sadness turned into annoyance.

(Y/n) was one of the very few people who really gave Kurt a chance and the blue mutant would rather die than have her be whisked away by some student from Japan.

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kurtbastian-land · 5 years ago

Text

A Modern Fairytale

Prompted by: @kurtbastianlover

“Hi, could you write about the proposal in 5x01 where Kurt would say no to Blaine because of Sebastian? Or something during the shooting at McKinley where Kurt would be inside the school and Sebastian would be outside and worried about him?”

A/N: Fic is based on the first prompt. I hope this is something you’re looking for!

_____________

This is it. This is what all the hushed whispers, excited exchanging of looks since he landed back into his home town. It was like everyone was in on this big secret - well if you could even call it a secret after being so painfully obvious.

Kurt gingerly took a step down, eyes wide as he took in everything and everyone (and was there a lot of people) as Blaine stared back at him, with such adoration and if Kurt were to scrutinized that look a bit closer, he would have added that there was a hint of smugness in those eyes, as though saying - “I knew you would come back. You’d always come back to me.” And how differently would this story have ended if Kurt saw that look.

Sure Kurt could always claim that he knew the proposal was coming (which he did) but nothing could ever prepare him for the spectacle of events that he just witnessed. He was barely paying attention to the words coming out of Blaine’s mouth as he brain continues to work in overdrive where it was continuously screaming at him to “Flee! Flee! Flee!” and at the same time begging him to stay put till this entire nightmare was over.

But the moment his eyes flickered to the back of Blaine, where a group of students donned in matching blazers and ties, all but one was watching the scene with smiles and a hint of pride knowing that they were partly the reason why this picture-perfect fairytale was unfolding in front of them.

However, as Selena Gomez once said, this is a modern fairytale, no happy ending.

In the middle of Blaine’s heartfelt speech, his eyes caught sight of a particular Warbler, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

“Will you marry me?” Blaine asked, getting down on one knee, ring box opened to reveal a ring that Kurt couldn’t deny was a beautiful ring.

His heartbeat quickened, mouth dry as he struggled to give an answer. He knew what his answer was going to be the moment he stepped into the hallway, but like this proposal, knowing something doesn’t always make something easier. Kurt licked his lips before taking Blaine’s hands into his, gently pulling the latter up. The room became silent, too silent that it was slowly stifling Kurt.

“I...” Kurt started, voice sounding strangely loud in his ears, “no Blaine, I don’t want to marry you.”

Mouth opened and closed, Blaine struggled to get his words out. “Is this where you say ‘I don’t want to marry you but I need to marry you’ or something across those lines?” Blaine attempted to joke weakly.

Kurt pursed his lips and shook his head, his hands gently closes the ring box, it’s snap echoing in the room. The sound obviously breaking the state of trance the onlookers apparently had and soft murmurings began to fill the room. Blaine stared at the closed box sitting at the palm of his hands and the moment Kurt notices some people approaching the two of them, Kurt decided that this was the perfect time to take a leave.

Not missing how a certain Warbler has left almost immediately Kurt said no, Kurt took off in the direction the Warbler left. He was in no state of rush to find the latter, knowing very well, he’ll catch up with him.

“Thanks for the heads up Bas,” Kurt called out when he finally caught sight of the back of the Warbler in an almost empty parking lot. How he manages to be sure that that was his Warbler, Kurt could never tell.

Sebastian halted mid-step, pausing for a moment as though calculating his next move. Deciding that it wouldn’t do him any good to just leave, Sebastian turned around and waited for Kurt to approach him. He stuffed his hands into his pants’ pocket, watched as Kurt slowly jogged towards him.

“Well, knowing you, I knew a whole surprise proposal by an ex whom you just began to be friends with 2 weeks ago, wouldn’t be your cup of tea,” Sebastian said with a slight shrug.

Kurt carefully studied the boy in front of him, face devoid of any emotions, an air of forced nonchalance surrounding the latter.

“Knowing me, huh,” Kurt repeated, deadpanned “then why did you think I was going to say yes to his proposal?”

Sebastian immediately stiffened at the question. “Well, why didn’t you?” Sebastian shot back, clearly uncomfortable with the current conversation that he was apparently forced to have.

Kurt let out a sigh because he knows how emotionally constipated Sebastian could get. It was a pain in the ass so he decided to save both of them the trouble and closed the gap between them. Kurt carefully placed his arms around Sebastian’s neck, giving the latter plenty of time to push him away.

But when he didn’t, Kurt tiptoed and a placed a soft kiss on Sebastian’s lips. Kurt pulled away, only to rest his forehead against Sebastian’s. This was the closest the two of them have been ever since they reconnected a few months ago and entered the weird territory of ‘are we friend or are we more than that’

“You,” Kurt simply said, “I didn’t say yes because of you.”

And those were the words that somehow magically released the tension that was wounding him up too tightly ever since Blaine asked him to be part of the magical Klaine proposal.

With some kind of proper confirmation of what they are, Sebastian couldn’t the resist the teasing smile that took over his face, “I’m a home wrecker.”

The laugh that came from Kurt was nothing but expected. Sebastian grinned as Kurt threw his head back, shaking his head in amusement. Because of course that’s what Sebastian is going to say after receiving a confession from him. What is Kurt suppose to expect from the exact same person who’s idea of courting and wooing is sending text messages throughout the week which always starts with “where’s today’s drama princess?” Because hell would turn to ice if Sebastian actually decides to ask Kurt directly about his day.

When Kurt finally stopped laughing, Sebastian smiled softly at the boy before closing the gap between their lips once more. And if Sebastian just so happen to see Blaine approaching the carpark and was a short distance from spotting them, could you really blame him for making it known that he was the reason why Kurt declined Blaine’s proposal?

#kurt hummel #kurtbastian #sebastian smythe #kurtbastian fic #my fic #prompt #wow #look at me #posting 3 fics #in one week

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krumbine · 4 years ago

Text

Videorama: Revenge of the Nooooo!

The year is 2005.

George W. Bush is just starting his second term in the White House.

The hottest game in cell phone technology is the Motorola Razr V3 and the PalmOne Treo 650.

The iPhone is still a few years away.

The Rise of Skywalker isn’t even a twinkle in Disney’s eye––an eye that’s currently preoccupied with an overly optimistic Narnia Franchise Wet Dream.

In fact, Disney wouldn’t even buy Star Wars for another seven years.

It’s summer in 2005 and millions of marketing dollars can still pull the wool over the eyes of a naive movie-going public, dictating box office success regardless of audience consensus or even general quality of filmmaking.

All hail the grand illusion of capitalism.

It’s a warm evening in the summer of 2005 and video rental stores are still a thing.

One particular, independently-run store––freestanding, double glass doors on the left side of the brick facade, small parking lot––was just turning its sign on as dusk settled.

Videorama was open for business.

Tobey blinked incredulously at the three teenagers standing on the other side of the counter. His brain hurt as he attempted to summon the endurance needed to fathom the sheer stupidity of their question.

To buy himself some time, Tobey blinked again.

“… well?” asked the one with the long greasy hair. “Do you have it?”

There was no way these kids were serious.

Tobey shook his head in disbelief. “You’re not serious.”

The one with a bad case of acne threw his hands up in exasperation. “Dude, for fuck’s sake!”

Tobey looked over at the other man behind the video store counter, feet up, sketch pad in lap. “I think these guys are serious.”

The third teenager was pale and wore a lot of heavy black eyeliner. He spoke in a flat monotone: “Catwoman. Do you have it or not?”

Tobey broke into a lopsided grin. “Oh, I get it. This is like a prank, right? Where’s the hidden camera?” Tobey propped his elbows on the counter and leaned forward. “Am I gonna be on the internet?!”

Long Hair was reaching his limit. “C’mon, man, we just wanna rent the movie.”

Tobey’s grin dropped. “No joke?”

“Dude.”

“Catwoman?”

They were practically pleading. “Do you have it or not?”

Tobey stood back, somber. This was worse than he thought. “Holy fucking shit.” He turned again to the other guy behind the counter. “Kurt, these guys are actually serious.”

Kurt didn’t look up from his sketch pad. “Hm.”

Zits backhanded Long Hair’s chest. “This is ridiculous, man. Let’s get outta here.”

Almost through this, Tobe.

Eyeliner started for the exit. “Fuck these asswipes.”

Fuck me.

“Alright, you fucking hormone-addled, gene-pool rejects. Listen.” Tobey leaned forward. “I can appreciate the fact that the three of you otherwise fine young gentlemen are undoubtedly blinded by your adolescent throes of puberty––to saying nothing of the ungodly amount of jizz sprayed in your eyes from the nonstop circle jerk that is your formative years––so it stands to reason that the mere notion of Halle Berry sporting a whip and a leather catsuit is enough to make you pop your collective nut––which, again, I do understand. Halle Berry is a fine specimen of the female gender and I myself have spent many a lonely night pondering Ms. Berry’s lithe and supple … skills.”

Tobey lost himself for a moment and the three teenagers stared at him in confusion. Tobey nodded absently and then returned to the conversation.

“Fellas,” he implored. “All that being said, you cannot tell me that simple, unabashed horniness is just cause for what will amount to the severe rapage of your individual minds––a tragic and unavoidable fate that you will all most assuredly fall victim to should you proceed to rent the motion picture that is Catwoman.”

To buy themselves a moment to process Tobey’s rant, the three teenagers blinked at him.

“… yes?” Zits said, lacking any sense of surety of himself.

Tobey sighed. Definitely worse than he thought. With a sad shake of his head: “Look, let me make a suggestion. Go with Monster’s Ball instead. It’s got our girl in it, bare titties and all. Lots of sex plus it’s a flick that won’t rot your brain. It’s a goddamned win-win for everybody. Especially you.”

Tobey pointed at Eyeliner before changing his mind. “Well, maybe not everybody.”

Eyeliner’s face was as a neutral as his voice. “Isn’t she fucking Billy Bob Thornton in that one?”

“So?”

Zits scowled. “Dude, that is so fucking nasty! He’s all old and wrinkly and shit.”

Tobey wanted to ram an ice pick in his own ear. “What the actual fuck, my man? We've already established that you're watching the flick for Halle Berry's tits, not Billy Bob's ball sack! What the fuck do you care what he looks like?!”

“We don’t!” Long Hair cried. “We just care about Catwoman!”

Tobey threw his hands in the air. There was no reasoning with these kids. “Okay, fine. I see how it is. Get out.”

Incredulous offense from Zits. “What?!”

Ineffable deadpan from Eyeliner. “You’re throwing us out?”

“No. Right now I’m asking you to leave in a gentle yet firm manner, as to assert a polite yet authoritative dominance over this conversation,” Tobey said. “In about twenty seconds I’ll be throwing you out.”

“We just want to rent a movie!” Zits said through gritted teeth and mounting frustration.

“Incorrect,” Tobey responded, raising an index finger. “You want to rent shit. There is a difference, although I can see that the lack of immediate release has caused the cum to bubble up and disorient your brain cells, inhibiting logical cognition. Regardless, I don’t even carry Catwoman since I have a very strict policy on stocking crappy movies.”

Long Hair tilted his head, waiting. “What’s your policy on stocking crappy movies?”

Eyeliner with the deadpan punchline: “He doesn’t.”

“––I don’t,” Tobey said at the same time. He shot Eyeliner an exasperated glare. “C’mon, dude!”

Eyeliner shrugged a shoulder.

Tobey leaned forward. “Now why don’t you three numb-nuts find yourselves a tittie mag, have a circle jerk, and just be done with it already, okay?”

Eyeliner scoffed indifferently. “This is bullshit. Let’s bounce, boys.”

Tobey nodded. “That’s right. But be sure to use plenty of lube. Too much bouncing chafes the shaft.”

Zits lunged across the counter but Long Hair pulled him back. “Fuck you, asshole.”

Tobey glanced down and flipped a page in his Indie Film magazine. “Mm. Clever.”

Zits straightened. He had one card left to play and he was entirely too confident in the move. “Hey. I wanna speak to the manager. Dick.”

Tobey looked up from his magazine. “I am the manager, you dipshit. Now get the hell out of my store before I call the fucking cops and have them throw you out.”

The three teenagers exchanged looks before stumbling to the exit, muttering various expletives under their breaths as they went.

“Yeah, I heard all of that!” Tobey called after them as the bell on the door jingled.

“You handled that well,” Kurt said from behind Tobey.

“You could have jumped in at any time there, buddy.”

“Seemed like you had it handled,” Kurt shrugged.

A young woman stepped up to the counter. Straight blonde hair to her shoulders and curves that Tobey drank in an instant glance, imperceptible the casual observer.

She perceived it. She always did.

“He didn’t have it handled,” the young woman said flatly, placing three DVDs and a member card on the counter.

“I had it handled,” Tobey insisted while he scanned her card. “Sure, I could have used some backup from behind the counter but that’s not to dismiss the overall nature of the situation behind, generally, handled.”

Kurt set his sketch pad aside and fiddled with a television set on the counter. A low-quality video continued playing––it looked like someone had used a cheap video camera to record a movie theater screen.

The girl’s eyebrow went up. “Is that Star Wars?”

Tobey didn’t look. He didn’t have to since they’d been watching the bootleg on a loop for three days. “Yep.”

“The new one?”

“Uh-huh.”

“That just came out in theaters?”

Tobey looked up from scanning the DVDs. “Wow. You’re a regular Veronica Mars. Can’t slip anything past you.”

She all but rolled her eyes and he decided to dial back the sarcasm.

“Yes, Kurt downloaded it a few days ago,” Tobey explained. “I mean, yeah, I paid to see the first two prequels but there was no way in hell I was gonna be stupid enough to let George Fucking Lucas screw me out of another eight bucks for yet another pile of shit he so fondly refers to as epic Star Wars lore.”

“Isn’t that illegal?”

“It fucking should be.”

“I meant the downloading.”

Tobey held up the three DVDs. “I’m sorry, did you want to rent these movies—” he glanced at the computer screen, “––Alyssa Tanner of 9000 East Westmore Drive, apartment 263? Or is harassing me over my moral obligation to protest the misguided artistic values of a corrupt media empire entertainment enough for you?”

Kurt shot a sideways glance and muttered: “Misguided artistic values?!”

Alyssa shrugged indifferently. “I just thought that in light of your current career path, you might have a better appreciation for the damage caused by downloading movies illegally.”

Kurt put his feet back up on the counter as he turned his attention back to the sketch pad. “Here we go …”

“The damage I cause?!” The mock in Tobey’s outrage was mild at best. “What about the damage George Lucas caused with these blatant cash grabs? Have you seen all the advertisements for this one? He’s spending millions of dollars convincing the world that it’s the greatest film ever!”

“And you’re saying it’s not?”

“If it’s possible, this one is even worse than the last two combined,” Tobey said gravely.

“Dude,” Kurt said, pointing at the television. “It’s the Vader scene.”

Tobey’s hands went up. “Perfect!” To Alyssa: “This is what I’m talking about. This shit is fucking hilarious.”

Alyssa looked at the television as the bootleg copy of Revenge of the Sith played. Darth Vader found out that he killed his girlfriend, clomped around like Frankenstein and then cried out, ‘Nooooo!’

Tobey clicked the television off.

“The only good thing about this movie is that it’s so bad it’s funny,” he said. “We’ve been watching it for days and that Vader scene just keeps getting funnier.”

“You don’t think Lucas deserves a little credit for closing the loop on A New Hope?”

“Does Adolf Hitler deserve credit for closing the loop on World War II?”

“First of all, Hitler lost—”

“Which effectively closed the loop—”

“—and secondly, you’re comparing a movie to a war that literally killed tens of millions of people?!” Alyssa balked.

“I’m comparing three movies to a war that killed tens of millions––”

“Dude!” Kurt cut in.

Tobey sighed. “Fine. Okay. Maybe the prequels aren’t, like, genocide bad––”

“The fuck is wrong with you?”

“But they’re still pretty bad.”

At one point, not so long ago, Alyssa had been amused and slightly intrigued by Tobey’s acerbic banter.

That moment had passed.

An awkward silence clung to the air inside the video store. Alyssa glanced at the exit. Kurt’s pencil scratched at his sketch pad.

Tobey held up Alyssa’s rentals. “… you want your movies?”

She took them from Tobey. “Yeah. Thanks.”

She turned for the door and then stopped. “Um …”

“Three day rentals. Due back on Thursday.”

Alyssa turned back to the counter. She grimaced. “Actually, uh, that bootleg—”

Tobey held up a hand. “Wait. Are you saying—”

Alyssa shrugged half-heartedly.

“You wanna borrow my illegally downloaded copy of Revenge of the Sith?”

“I mean, if it’s so bad, you wouldn’t mind letting go of it for a few days,” Alyssa suggested. “Right?”

Tobey studied her grey eyes. There was something about this girl. He chewed his lip, thinking.

“Well?”

Tobey nodded slowly. “Okay, uh, lemme think of a creative way of saying this …” Tobey rubbed his chin and then raised an index finger to the sky. “Oh, I know!”

Tobey threw his hands in the air. “Nooooo!”

A VHS rewinder ground on old tape and Kurt cursed as he mashed the eject button, popping the machine open.

“Goddammit,” Kurt seethed. “Why the hell are we still stocking VHS?”

“Same reason we don’t open until four in the afternoon,” Tobey replied as he gathered an armful of DVDs to re-shelve.

“Because you’re too lazy to wake up in the morning?”

“No, because despite appearances, we’re here to serve our customers, Kurt,” Tobey said, strolling the aisles. “Working class Americans. The nine-to-fivers. People rent videos on their way home from work.” Tobey placed a DVD on the shelf. “Or in the middle of the night. There’s been studies. Or something.”

Kurt finished untangling the botched tape and tossed it into the trash. “So what you’re saying is that you’ve got a firm grasp on psychological makeup of our clientele.”

“I’m a savante that way.”

“An idiot savante, sure,” Kurt said with an eye roll.

Tobey placed another DVD. “People mock what they don’t understand.”

“So what about that girl, Alyssa?”

“Pretty sure nobody mocks her,” Tobey replied, scanning a shelf. “Fear her, maybe. Beauty is intimidating. Intelligence doubly so. Beauty and intelligence—”

“I meant her psychological makeup.”

Tobey shrugged absently. “If it’s anything like her physical makeup—”

Kurt sighed. “I mean: why does she come in so often? She was just here yesterday.”

Tobey glanced over at his long-time friend. “She had a two-day rental, Kurt,” he said flatly.

“And that explains why she was here for the past five days in a row, how exactly?” Kurt asked patiently.

Tobey pondered this half-heartedly. “She likes movies?”

Kurt went back to his sketch pad. “You’re an idiot.”

“I’m an idiot with a stalker, according to you,” Tobey said, shelving the last DVD and returning to his spot behind the counter.

“She’s not a stalker. She’s a nice girl.”

Naughty thoughts ran through Tobey’s head and his eyes went wide. “I bet she is.”

Kurt put his pencil down. “You know, people might actually like you if you weren’t so sarcastic all the time.”

“What are you talking about? People like me. You’re the one who pointed out that I have a stalker,” Tobey said. “Plus, you’re a person, too. You like me.”

Kurt tilted his hand back and forth. “Eh.”

Tobey shrugged indifferently. “Friends come and go. Porn is forever.”

“That sixty-inch TV in your bedroom working out well for you?”

Tobey turned and leaned against the counter, facing Kurt. “I watch it as I fall asleep so that I have pleasant dreams. Of vaginas.” Tobey spread his hands an arms-length apart. “Ten feet wide.”

“So what you’re saying is that the addition of the big-screen pornocopia has obviated any pressing need to actually be liked by the fairer sex?”

“Who needs to be liked when you have a stalker? Plus, there’s always Horatio.”

Kurt blinked. “Who the hell is Horatio?”

Tobey held up his left hand. “We have a very intimate relationship. He knows how to please me in ways that most women just don’t understand. And yes, the big screen pornocopia helps.”

The bell on the door jangled.

“A vagina ten feet wide?” Kurt asked.

“Ten feet wide.”

“You call your hand Horatio?”

“You spend all day drawing superheroes with their dongs out,” Tobey said.

Kurt nodded. “Point.”

“Good to see you’re being as professional as ever.” The voice came from the other side of the counter. It sounded tired and annoyed.

Tobey frowned and didn’t bother to turn around. He grabbed his film magazine. “You know what? Fuck off, my dude. I don’t have time for your shit right now.”

The man on the other side of the counter glanced around the empty video store. “I can see that,” he said. “These late hours of yours really keep the place hopping.”

Tobey sighed and deliberately turned around to face his older brother. “Fuck you very much, Walt.”

Tobey’s brother was two years older and looked about as tired as he sounded. A dark suit with a loosened tie, coifed hair grown limp, distinct bags under his eyes.

Walt help up his hands in a show of surrender, car keys dangling from his right fingers. “Just here to drop the car off. I’ve got a guy coming first thing in the morning to detail it. Karen’s picking me up in a few minutes.”

Walt tossed the keys to Tobey. They hit him on the chest and bounced on the counter. They stared at each other for an awkward moment.

Kurt focused intently on giving She-Hulk a very large, very veiny cock.

“Uh, last I checked, I’m not your fucking valet, Walt,” Tobey said.

Walt sighed wearily. “I’m not asking you to be—”

“Cause you just up and threw those keys like––”

“Tobey, we need to talk.”

“I really can’t see why.”

“Can we just––”

“Get the fuck out of my store, Walter,” Tobey growled from across the counter.

Walt ran a hand through his hair. “… it’s gonna be five years next month.”

Kurt glanced up and could see Tobey visibly tense, clenching his fists. He promptly looked back down.

“Yeah, so?”

“So …” Walt said slowly as he nodded. “… I want you to come visit them with me.”

Walt tried to meet Tobey’s eyes but the anger shooting across from his brother was brutal.

“… I think it’ll be good for you, Tobe,” Walt said softly.

“No.”

“Tobey––”

“I haven’t gone yet,” Tobey spat out the words. “I’m not going to go and I’m certainly not ever going to go with you.”

“Tobe––”

Tobey cut him off. “Just get the fuck out, Walt. You can wait for Karen outside.”

“I want to talk about the store.”

Tobey’s hands went up. “There it is! Jesus fucking Christ. You lasted all of two minutes that time, Walter. When are you gonna give that one up? They left it to me, cut and dry.”

Kurt decided that She-Hulk’s cock wasn’t big enough and needed to be more throbby.

Tobey shot lasers at his brother. “… you don’t have anything to do with Videorama.”

“Yeah. Okay. You’re right,” Walt conceded. “I haven’t had anything to do with the store for a long time. But that’s not how I want it to be.”

“Well boo-fucking-hoo,” Tobey spat. “It’s not like you have a lot of options since, again, they left it to me, cut and dry.”

Walt straightened his shoulders and looked up, meeting his younger brother’s icy gaze. “Tobey,” he said, “I want to buy the store.”

Tobey’s anger kept his mouth moving before the words registered. “Don’t even fucking––wait––no––what?”

Walt swallowed. “I want to buy Videorama from you.”

For once, Tobey had absolutely nothing to say.

In the silence, Kurt’s pencil slipped through his fingers and clattered to the floor.

“Oh, nooooo,” Kurt said through a quiet grimace.

###

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jordan Krumbine is a professional video editor, digital artist, and creative wizard currently quarantined in Kissimmee, Florida. When not producing content for the likes of Visit Orlando, Orlando Sentinel, or AAA National, Jordan is probably yelling at a stubbornly defective Macbook keyboard, tracking creative projects in Trello, and animating quirky videos with LEGO and other various toys.

Leave a dollar in the Tip Jar: https://ko-fi.com/krumbine

Short stories: https://bit.ly/2XY5D7I Books on Amazon Kindle: https://amzn.to/3bsqK5Y YouTube: https://bit.ly/2W41nSG Twitter: https://bit.ly/2VH0Vbu Facebook: https://bit.ly/2VpnylZ LinkedIn: https://bit.ly/2xnmk1e

http://www.krumbco.com

#krumbine #jordan krumbine #short stories #short story #fiction #VHS #star wars #episode 3 #revenge of the sith #writer #writeblr #amwriting #wip #may the fourth be with you

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weheart-dianelockhart · 6 years ago

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Ask Prompt: Protective Kurt

This would probably take place a few weeks after the recent episode. Just a musing. Thanks to the anon who put this idea into my head. I might have gone a bit overboard...

They’d go, stay for an hour or so, exchange pleasantries with colleagues, and then head home hand in hand. The plan was the same for this evening. Shortly after they arrived to the Chicago ABA annual banquet, Diane was whisked away by old friends and people Adrian “insisted” she meet. Kurt frequently stayed in the shadows or found someone he hadn’t seen in forever to make small talk with as he watched his wife proceed to be a social butterfly.

Her emerald dress clung to her hips in the most desirable fashion. The delicate satin swept across her chest and fell just off each shoulder. She opted for curls and long earrings that swung from side to side when she laughed. She was, by far, the most elegant woman in the room. Her rouge lips radiated a smile that told everyone she was in her element. Every so often, Diane would find her way back to her husband for a sip of his drink or a teasing kiss.

Tonight, he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. It was unlike him to gawk, but she had always had a way of distracting him. Before the pair had departed for the gala, Kurt made sure that his wife knew how breathtaking she looked...

“Honey, I cant seem to get this cufflink. Can you–“

Diane spun in her nude stilettos at the sound of his voice. Slipping in her final earring, she sauntered toward him. He hadn’t seen this gown before and it had rendered him speechless. A goddess. An absolute goddess.

“Here, let me see.” Unaware of the spell that had fallen over him, she reached for his wrist and clasped the gold accessory in place. “There.”

Meeting his gaze, she noticed his growing smirk and the slight shake of his head. “What?”

Kurt laughed and took a step back to get the full picture.

“You look...stunning.” He punctuated the last word.

Diane could feel her cheeks blushing and tilted her head down. Sensitively, as to not disturb the position of the silk fabric that swathed her collar bones, Kurt slid his hand around her waist and up her bare back. Navigating the diamonds she had adorned for this occasion, he pressed his lips to her clavicle. Her knees weakened and she grabbed his shoulders for support. Her fingers found his cheeks and she forced their eye contact.

“We’re already late.”

The speeches had been made, the accolades doled out, which prompted Kurt to drift his palm down her spine. Their customary signal continued to fill Diane’s senses with goosebumps. She shifted in her chair to flash him a smile that reached her eyes without hesitation.

“Fifteen minutes and we are out of here.” Leaning toward him, the kiss that followed lingered, building the desire they were both failing to fight off.

Diane stood to begin her goodnights as Kurt sat back in his chair, nonchalantly observing the room. Moving through her acquaintances, she spotted Liz in a nearby corner, nursing a glass of wine.

“It always astounds me how quickly lawyers can get sloppy drunk as these functions.” Diane chuckled at Liz’s observation.

“Only once a year,” Diane countered and the women breathed comfortable sighs.

“I think I’ll get going. Early day in court tomorrow.” Diane gave Liz’s wrist a squeeze.

“I never understood why they held these things on a Thursday night?” As she finished, they moved back to the firm’s table where Kurt sat patiently.

“Ready?” Diane inquired as she approached her husband, already knowing his answer.

“Yep.” He stood as Diane grabbed her gloves and clutch.

“Oh, Ms. Lockhart?” A mockingly sing-song voice rang above the buzz of the room. She didn’t even have to turn around to know who was requesting her attention. Rolling her eyes, she spun around and was greeted with a gloating expression.

“What can I do for you Mister Blum.” Diane could feel Liz’s annoyance beside her.

“Just wanted to let you know that Maia is working for me now so it appears that your valiant efforts to purge her of my evil have failed.” He snatched her empty hand into his hand and shook it combatively.

Kurt’s alarm bells went off. He had heard Diane’s horror stories of the fabled Roland Blum and now here he was practically bulldozing his wife. Diane ripped her hand from his grip and he stepped closer, his cologne assaulting her sense of smell.

“Your innocent little Mary Cynthia has fallen to the dark side.”

“Go to hell.” Diane turned her cheek toward him, hoping to breathe anything but his certain scent of Clive Christian No. 1 and expensive vodka. He was visibly drunk, high, or both, but that didn’t make it any easier for Kurt to witness.

“Only if you’ll join me–“ his clammy hands moved to cup her face but were intercepted by a forceful hand on his right wrist, obstructing it’s path toward her skin.

“Don’t fucking touch her.”

Kurt’s words were ice. Diane knew his blood was boiling. Slightly startled herself, she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. Jaw clenched, eyes like knives. She shivered with lust and fascination. Roland, if he was frightened in the slightest, didn’t flinch. Backing up and placing his hands in the air, he let out a dreadful howl.

“Ta-ta for now, Your Royal Highness.” Roland made a scene of opening the oak doors and singing, at the top of his lungs, “Long Live the Queen.”

Kurt stood stock still until Diane’s fingers crept into his palm. His eyes drew a line up her arm until they reached her blue eyes. Holding his gaze for a millisecond, Diane turned to Liz and whispered a goodbye. Without looking at him, she kept her hand intertwined and pulled him toward the front door. The brisk night air struck their exposed skin and Diane spotted the driver and car that had brought them at the beginning of the evening. All while continuing to hold his hand in her’s, the couple got into the black Cadillac. Not a word was spoken on the short drive to their apartment. Kurt was almost afraid to speak. He was waiting for her outrage over him making a scene to bubble over. Though the death grip she had on his hand gave him mixed messages.

Upon their arrival home, Diane thanked the driver and tugged him toward their front door. Impatiently, she waited for him to dig into his pocket and locate the key. Shutting the door firmly behind them, Kurt flipped on the hall light and placed his keys on the table. Preparing for the worst, he turned to Diane.

In her eyes, a cyclone of devotion, admiration, and passion swirled, catching him off guard. She reached for the light switch and the hall went dark, only the moon light illuminated their bodies that instantaneously found their way to each other. Their lips danced together in a well rehearsed tango that was becoming more fervent by the second. His jacket was the first to fall to the floor, her dress following promptly after. Exposing her strapless, silk slip, Kurt drew her closer. Feeling their skin touch sent fireworks all the way down to her toes. She had never felt quite like this. So secure, so loved, so appreciated. She reveled in their contact as her hands pried at his shirt buttons. Making it half way down, Diane gave into is incessant kisses across her neck, letting her head drop back. As he made his way back to her lips, she indulged his tender kisses until she paused. Staring him down, her voice cracked and came out in an ardent whisper.

“You’re my person.”

He pressed his forehead to hers, conveying every I Love You that could be said.

The very same stars that shone through their window now had aligned 10 years ago, bringing these two opposing forces crashing together. And somehow, here they were, a decade later, wrapped in each other’s embrace, reassured that neither one would ever leave.

#mchart #diane lockhart #kurt mcveigh #writing this made me cry

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pixiealtaira · 5 years ago

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I was tagged by @chocoholicannanymous to post the first lines of the last ten fics I wrote...on. They all were WIPs..all of them. It might be a bit embarrassing to admit that this doesn’t even make a dent in the WIPs in progress. Nope...not a dent.

I realize I tend to long first paragraphs often, so I went with between 3 and 6 lines...

Pretty much nothing as a name...so I’ll refer to it by the title of the doc.

So, with our further fluffiery...from what I worked on latest to ten back....

1) Modeling AU ---glee WIP

Santana, Rachel and Kurt were filling the condiment bottles and chatting as they watched while the group of 4 singing wait staff finished their last song. Or rather Rachel and Santana were chatting and Kurt was trying to ignore them while not letting them know he was ignoring them, or at least not letting Rachel know he was ignoring them. He wasn’t incredibly happy with anyone that moment, although he was at a better place with Santana than with Rachel. It could have been because he and Santana had had it out a bit earlier so the air was partially cleared, but not cleared enough for him to be helping her chat with Rachel.

2) NaNoWriMo 2017 ---- glee wip, also second part to the story above but nano wants new works...so I made it one (this year nano was a failure...ended up with too much family drama going on and the son was a senior in highschool)

Kurt Hummel trudged into the costume workshop attached to the theater department at NYU. He wasn’t sure Rosie, who he was supposed to meet up with was even there yet, as it was ridiculous o’clock in the morning, but the back entrance door was open so he figured someone responsible was inside.

“hello?” Kurt called out.

“In the room with the sewing machines, back right hand door.” Kurt heard yelled back to him.

3) NaNoWriMo 2016 ------glee wip...again this year of nano was a failure...but that was because I was sick for most of it

The summer after Blaine’s massive meltdown and tantrum and the subsequent break-up was looking to be…difficult. Horrid. Soul crushing. Kurt saw no relief from it. There was no one to ease the feeling that somehow he was solely to blame. He had no one to talk to, really. Artie blamed Kurt and wouldn’t give him the time of day. He was the only one still in New York City. He hadn’t heard from Elliot or Dani since before he was bashed back in February…he remembered asking about why he hadn’t and getting a vague brushing off and then the bashing happened and then every moment was focused on Blaine again…making sure he wasn’t feeling inadequate or ignored. And no body at work spoke with him, at least not at the diner.

4) CM-Glee cross --------Criminal minds Glee crossover WIP...I am determined to finish this and it’s companion fic...I will...at some point

If one had asked, which of course no one ever did, Spencer Reid would have actually told that anyone who’d asked that he would have rather been anywhere else than where he was. He’d have liked to have had the opportunity to give some input, to have some options! Yes, he’d had some …issues, especially when things were dealing with teens, but it wasn’t like everyone else he worked with had always done everything exactly right each and every time either. (Morgan and any pretty women they worked with in any way shape or form…for example. Hotch stopped Spencer from talking before he got that pointed out though.) These weren’t even really teens, for the most part…at least not high school students. Out of the six deaths, only one was a student. Spencer did not see the reason Hotch had stared at him the whole time he gave his lecture on not letting themselves get too emotionally involved. Nor did he see why HE and HE alone had been left at the police station when they arrived. He was actually an agent, for Pete’s sake.

5)nanowrimo 2013 ------glee and criminal minds crossover WIP...yes you read that date right,however this ficis over 80000 words and I think could be finished quickly if I could just get past one fricking scene

After Kurt’s summer from hell, Kurt Hummel had hoped that things would be better for the school year, or at least the same things wouldn’t be bad. He was really tired of the repetition of misery that was his life lately. However, when it came down to it, school had been going just like it had the year before. Granted, he’d only been tossed into the dumpster once so far. (He suspected it was because he was harder to toss this year after putting on a few inches in height.) However, the locker slams had become brutal again and slushies were still a routine.

6) why Kurt speaks fluent french ----I suck at titles. Glee WIP. Somehow half what was written for this got lost...on some hard drive or flash drive was another 5000 to 10000 words, but I have not been able to find it so we spent a bit over the summer rewriting.

Elizabeth Hummel looked around the parking lot of Hill Side Elementary School, and wondered once again where the hill that she’d figured it was named after actually was. It certainly wasn’t anywhere near the school. False advertising…that ought to be a good reason not to have Kurt go to there, although she was pretty certain her husband would disagree. Elizabeth hated the school. She had hated it from the start, really…from the moment they got the letter in the mail that told them that due to the schools nearest them being under construction still and the next closest school being under renovation and so only being able to house half the students it generally did…her child was slated to go to Hill Side.

7) Kurtoberfest day 16 holiday recipes --- WIP, almost done, maybe, au where Finn is alive

Kurt remembers the day Finn Hudson’s career path was chosen. Finn had come to New York to ‘hang’ with his brother and sneer at Rachel and torment Santana. (Ok, Finn said he’d come to hang with Kurt, but he spent more time sneering at Rachel and tormenting Santana than hanging with Kurt, to the point of refusing to go site seeing to places Finn had wanted to see in favor of bugging the girls.) Kurt and Finn had been watching old comedies waiting for Rachel to get back so Finn could bug her when Kurt switched from Sister Act to Kindergarten Cop. Finn had never seen Kindergarten Cop. Kurt was frankly dumbfounded about that fact, seriously. Kindergarten Cop was like a staple of movie viewing. Finn watched Kindergarten Cop with an intensity that Kurt had only ever seen him give to 45 buck steaks and a basketball ball game on TV once that Finn had bet 300 dollars on. Finn didn’t even notice when Rachel came stomping into the loft and then left again.

8)Kurtoberfest prompt 17 harry potter au ---glee and HP crossover

When Harry Potter left Britain, and the wizarding world, he decided to run to someplace he could get lost in. He beat dear old Voldie, he’d won the damned war for them, and all he got from it was fits from people who didn’t like how he did it…he should have used magic, not non-magical means and he certainly shouldn’t have used a snake to help…and proof of just how manipulative certain people had been in his life, which thankfully the goblins had helped him with after he proved to them he did not sign anything giving anyone means to form marriage and partnership contracts with anyone. Half the Weasley’s weren’t talking to him, and he was fine with that after finding out that Ginny had been feeding him love potions because he wasn’t responding the way she wanted and that Dumbledore had sold him off to her mom, essentially in trade for her pledging the aid of all her children to Dumbledore’s cause. He also didn’t appreciate that Dumbledore had promised Harry’s magic to the ministry in exchange for the ministry turning a blind eye to certain things Dumbledore had done…like sealing his parents wills with no authority to do so.

9) Severus Snape meets a Small Harry What If ----Harry PotterWIP one of like 8 with this name in my WIP folder. This one has a big harry and a small harry and is a bit dark

As Severus Snape watched over Flitwick’s classroom, full of Gryffindor third years, he cursed the fact that the quarantine of a house also included their head of house. He cursed the outbreak of – what was it…ah, yes… the Chicken Pox – some silly Muggle disease a first year had brought back with them after a family gathering during the short spring break which had spread through the Ravenclaws like a wildfire.

10) T and T Kurt....Glee WIP Just how did Kurt’s tiara collection get started?

Elizabeth Hummel looked around the dressing room area of the pageant and briefly contemplated her sanity…or lack of…in getting involved with it all. She was tired of the tantrums and whining and screaming done by both mothers and children. Luckily her child wasn’t involved in any of that. Her child was seated off to the side.

“Katerina Bates, please come stand by mummy.” Elizabeth called.

The child slid off the chair they were seated on and hopped over.

“Elli. Not Katerina.”

“Katerina today. You can be Elli tomorrow.”

Yeah....there were six other in that Kurtoberfest bunch being worked on, three other HP and three other CM fics..because I told myself I would finish a WIP this summer and my mind said NOPE, Will no concentrate on One. Nope Nope Nope.

Also wrote lines for beans for Clever Jack and the Magic Beanstalk because of course the magic beans needed a whole mini scene song and dance number to themselves...of course they did.

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kurtty-drabbles · 5 years ago

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You´re a witchy Kitty au (part4)

N/A: merciful short and straight to the point. I hope.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @bamfoftheundead

The mansion of the X-men is in the usual state as the students` own laughter can be heard as well with screams of teenagers having fun, indeed, it is a safe haven for those who seek protection and Logan wasn´t lying when describing the house as huge. The wizard did saw big houses in his country, of course, but, nothing as a mansion.

“Wow” Kurt Szardos begins as his etiquette for such situations is almost non-existent.

“Yeah, is a big house, fancy on the outside, but, deadly on the inside” Logan promises in his grumpy voice. There´s a woman in the main entrance who has her arms crossed and looks bemused at Logan.

“Storm!” Logan begins but the woman walks over him and manages to make the mighty Wolverine silent with her blue eyes.

“You run away like a wild animal, you prick all the photos with Jean and Scott, which for your information, those pictures have other people there who didn´t like to see the photo torn apart ” Ororo´s eyes indicates that she may be one of those peoples. Kurt watches as the once sunny day is getting cloudy.

“And then you take the car without saying anything but ’‘JEAN” and now…you´re back with a complete stranger and expect things to be the same?“ Storm concludes her speech and Kurt marvels at the weather who is matching Ororo´s temperament.

A weather sorceress? Amazing.

Logan gulps hard as suddenly, as if a pass of magic, the man realizes that his past actions weren´t very nice and Storm is not a woman to put up with bad behaviour. "Ro, I´m sorry, for real, but…knowing that Jean pick Scott ….broke my heart” Kurt and Storm aren´t impressed. “my heart is still broken, but, I´m an X-men and I came here with a solution” and now his eyes are on Kurt Szardos.

“Ro, in our last conversation, as X-men, you mentioned how is troublesome to only have to count with Dr Stranger who is siding more and more with the Avengers. So, here´s my solution, this is Kurt Szardos, a great sorcerer I know and he is willing to help us…plus…” Logan trails off and Kurt gets the gist as the glamour is off showing his blue self.

Ororo seems to analyse Kurt and then Logan. “As the leader of the X-men I must ask you, do you trust him?”

Logan nods.

“Then welcome to the X-men, Kurt, hope you can survive the experience”

_________________________________________________________________________

A man enters a pub looking for someone in the crow of people. The pub is having more clients than normal, maybe, is because of the holiday it always increases the job market of this area. The said man finally spot the lonely table of the south part of the pub and the guest who was waiting for him nods in affirmation.

“Steffan” the guest replies with a crooked smile, wearing a brown coat that is a hand me down and finally stop breaking the knife to give his total attention to Steffan. “I did what you asked me to. It was really easy, a stupid tourist having fun at the wrong time and place”

Steffan nods and remembers his mission. “I need a piece of her, take me to the body”

The two men walk to the background of the pub, to where a small stair leading to the basement is visible. The men went down and saw the corpses waiting for confirmation.

“This is your Kitty Pryde” the killer points to the victim number 3333 and Steffan notices the hair, but, by curiosity decides to see her face (is this Kurt´s soulmate? Oh he needs to see her face) and is taken back by this.

The fingers are holding the sheet strongly as Steffan is staring at the face of the woman beneath him. “IS. NOT. HER” the hair is similar, but, now under the dim light is possible to see the differences, as well her face. IS NOT HER.

_________________________________________________________________________

Agatha is doing potions. Stirring on her cauldron until the green mass becomes completely uniform and the ingredients are properly absorbed (she can still see some herbs in the mass) and is waiting. Waiting for the right moment.

“Another victim of the Szardos` crazy schemes is located” Wanda explains once her eyes are no longer crimson. Her powers are expanding each day.

“Yes, I had figured it out as much…You saw the image of the poor woman, didn´t you?” Agatha asked and Wanda pales a little as she did nod. “They are getting sloppier, and we get an advantage as Kitty is here and safer” and Wanda looks at the wall for a moment and her eyes side with Agatha.

“You can come out now, invisible spells are hard to do it, but, they aren´t powerful from those who have the sighting” Agatha speaks and Kitty Pryde, having 16 years old now, reveals herself.

“Spying on us?” Wanda asked trying to sound intimidating.

“Only because there´s a killer going after me…I saw the victims…they look a bit like me”

“Yes, they look like you, and it was a mistake on my part to try to leave you in the dark, however, now you´re here is time to explain the situation” Agatha begins and conjure a new chair so Kitty could sit among the witches.

“A woman named Margalia Szardos wants to kill you” Wanda states knowing full well that there´s no way one could deliver such information in a graceful way.

“Why she wants to kill me?” Kitty asked holding the Davi Star tightly in her hands now.

“Margalia…used to be one of my students, one that I sincerely regret, she was …insane, to put in simple terms, she wanted power for the sake of power and to get such power she killed children. Remember when I told you some witches can be bad?” Kitty nods now for the first time believing this. “Margalia sell her soul to a demon in exchange for power, however, to pay her magic she must sacrifice kids with the right magic core…and is rare for her to spot a magical child”

Wanda looks uncomfortable for a moment and Agatha gives her a kind smile. “Kitty, Margalia tried to recruit me and thank Hecate Agatha saved me in the last minute…let me tell you this, Margalia as much evil of person you can imagine and more”

“Why me?”

“We don´t know exactly, but, we do know that you´ll be safe as we´ll deal with her and stop that madwoman” and Wanda adds “I know you like fiction where kids face bad guys and win, but, this is reality and I ask you, please, stay here and don´t try to be Harry Potter”

“Don´t worry, I don´t want to go after a woman who wants to kill me. I´m not Harry Potter”

__________________________________________________________________________

“My love, come here” Belasco orders as his Persephone approaches the trone to see the screen display in front of him. “Do you reconize that girl?”

“Of course, that´s our little Yana, although, she´s a bit older now”

“Correct, but, do you reconize the blue man here?”

“Ohhh” and she giggles.

______________________________________________________________________

Kurt Szardos is getting the gist of the X-men and has no problem in doing his part, however, as the man was walking down the halls it is impossible to not see two Russians fighting in their languages.

“Is demonic, no sister of mine will learn magic” Piotr screams like a wild animal, but, the teenager is not scared.

“You´re a mutant, you save people, what I supposed to do? Stay in the dark? I have a gift and I want to use it…and if you´re bonehead to see it” Yana teleport as Piotr´s fist hit the floor.

Piotr looks back to see Kurt Szardos looking at the scene. “WHAT?” and Kurt teleports away before the Russian could hit him. Kurt spot Yana crying (sad tears or anger tears? hard to tell) and remember his time as a small kid under Margalia.

What a terrible thought.

“Hello, do you want to learn magic?”

And Yana looks up at Kurt and nods.

(Everything in his vision is fitting in, everything but one crucial thing, but, Kurt has time)

#you´re a witchy Kitty au #kitty pryde #wanda maximoff #Agatha harkness #kurt szardos #Yana does not take your shit Piotr

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miasswier · 6 years ago

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miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 24

24: I Do

Written by: Ian Brennan Directed by: Brad Falchuk

Overall Thoughts: This one is a tough one to rank, mostly because the parts that I love I love so goddamn much, but the parts that annoy me annoy me so goddamn much. It’s pretty high up on the list because, objectively, it’s a really strong episode. It’s smack-dab in the middle of the strongest set of episodes in season four (lasting from “Sadie Hawkins” to “Guilty Pleasures”), and has really good entertainment value, while also showing a fantastic portrayal of the difficulties of living with mental illness. I originally had it higher on the list than I do now, but I re-watched it again and ugh, seriously, the parts of this episode I dislike drag it down so goddamn much. Still, it’s really strong, and it has some of my favourite moments in all of Glee history.

What I Like:

Finn telling Rachel that not everything is about her. What I like most about this moment is that it’s true. It’s not just Finn telling Rachel that to ~conceal his true feelings or whatever. Him kissing Emma legitimately had nothing to do with Rachel.

Okay, this whole storyline annoys the fuck out of me, but the scene before Jake and Marley sing their duet is pretty funny. It’s too bad they didn’t give Ryder more of a chance to be funny, because Blake Jenner has fantastic comedic timing.

Kurt and Blaine making out in the backseat of that car. Obviously.

“This is just bros helping bros.” “I love it when you talk fratty.” These two are the biggest fucking dorks.

“Tell me that’s not Tina again!”

Becky as the angry flower girl, throwing her petals with so much fucking force.

Jake calling Ryder out on his racist assumption that Jake would steal, or that Marley would assume Jake was stealing. As far as I remember there’s been no indication that Jake has ever actually committed a crime? He’s just lippy with teachers and sleeps with tons of girls and thinks that makes him a badass, but he isn’t a thief.

Jake and Marley not having sex. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: nobody can convince me that Marley wasn’t asexual. Still, I remember hearing the spoilers that five couples would go into hotel rooms and that four of those would be having sex and instantly hoping that Jake and Marley would be the ones that didn’t. I mean, Jake talks a big game about “taking it slow” but they’ve only been dating for four episodes, so that’s, what, a month? Maybe two? I’m glad that Marley didn’t let herself be pressured by the romantic gestures and such.

Santana raising her arms above her head while she follows Quinn into the hotel room. She’s so excited for the sex she’s about to have.

Honestly, Santana and Quinn in general in this episode. Everything about it is perfect, other than Quinn instantly shooting down the possibility of bisexuality, but my absolute favourite exchange is when Quinn tells Santana that the only non-gross guys are Will (ew) and Al Roker and Santana goes “Al Roker is disgusting, by the way.”

Seriously, though. Santana and Quinn had sex. Twice. That is a canonical thing that happened. I think about it every day tbh. God bless Glee.

Brittany taking pictures of Sue as she walks down the aisle and whispering “you look so good.”

“Oh, look, it’s the glee kids.”

Kurt very obviously hiding his boner behind his jacket as he gets out of the car, and Blaine’s adorable “oh my god.”

“You do realize how trashy blasphemous this is, right?” “Oh, come on Mercedes, everybody hooks up at weddings.”

Kurt pulling Blaine into the hotel room by the fucking tie.

I really enjoy the entire montage of couples post-sex (or post-not-sex, in the case of Jake and Marley). Obviously the Klaine scene is my favourite, but even the Artie/Betty scene is pretty cute. Also, Finn and Rachel’s scene is really heartbreaking in hindsight, since that’s the last time we see them on-screen together (in the same location, at least), and it’s the last kiss Rachel ever gives Finn.

Honestly, although it does annoy me in the context of the episode and in the context of when it aired, in hindsight the whole “we are endgame” speech is pretty sad. Hearing Finn talk about how he and Rachel are going to end up together, no matter what, is like a knife to the heart. Like, wow. There’s so much stuff on this show that in hindsight is just gutting.

That being said, it’s hilarious when Finn gives that whole pseudo-deep metaphor about seeds and Rachel just responds with “are you telling me you want to be a gardener?”

“Will Schuester is a weepy man-child whose greatest joy in life is singing with children. And his best friend? Nineteen.”

“Well, don't say that to Will Schuester. He'll have you singing a stripped down acoustic version of I Will Survive in a choir room full of teenagers with meaningful looks on their faces.”

Rachel telling Finn the honest truth that Emma running off has literally nothing to do with him. I’m glad that we’re at the point in the show where Finn making every woman in his life’s drama about himself is getting nipped in the bud.

Blaine and Kurt flanking Tina in red and white. They look like the angel and devil on her shoulders. Also, they’re totally going to make out during Showgirls.

The portrayal of Emma’s downward spiral over this episode and the previous one is so fantastic. Because it’s real. Here is a woman getting ready for what is supposed to be the happiest day of her life, and she’s just dreading it. Her anxiety gets worse and worse, and that just makes her OCD flare up even more-so than usual, and the result we get in the scene leading into “I’m (Not) Getting Married Today” is so wonderfully acted by Jayma Mays. I can think of very few TV shows who accurately dealt with this downside of mental illness: not even being able to enjoy the things that are supposed to bring you joy. Emma wants more than anything to marry Will, but she just can’t do it. It’s so raw, and emotional, and I’m so glad that we got to watch her perspective and not just Will and Finn’s. It’s just… god, I love that whole scene and that whole story. It’s just so goddamn real.

What I Don’t Like:

Mercedes calling Kurt and Blaine her “arm gays”. No thanks.

Okay, yeah, in hindsight the Finchel stuff is really sad, and I did tear up at a few of their scenes, but for fuck’s sake. It’s season four and we’re still dealing with this bullshit? They don’t have that much screen time, but it feels like every one of their scenes is never ending. And just exhausting. Plus, one of those scenes takes place while Kurt and Blaine are singing and I’ll never forgive Glee for that. Never.

In a similar vein, Artie and Betty have way too much screen time considering she was a one-episode character, and they also have a scene during Klaine’s song. It’s almost worse than the Finchel scene because it involves Artie literally annoying a girl into dancing with him via insulting her. She said no, bud. Leave her alone.

Jake/Marley/Ryder is SO ANNOYING OH MY GOD. Of all the annoying heterosexual bullshit I’m forced to put up with in this episode, theirs annoys me the most. First of all, we’re supposed to be rooting for Jake and Marley, but Glee is clearly showing us that Jake is the worst. But then Ryder kisses Marley, who is dating his best friend, so guess who just got added to the list of “the worst”? Seriously , why were these two the only two options given for Marley? She would have been way better off dating Unique.

I know this is a stupid, nitpicky thing, but I hate when Ryder says “she’s just a sophomore” about Marley, because I’m 98% sure that he and Jake are also sophomores, but this makes it sound like they’re both these mature adults or at least seniors, which just ends up making it seem creepy that these two guys are trying to get with this girl who they both clearly see as innocent and inexperienced, and seem to like all the more because of those qualities.

Again, one of the few episodes where I could accept Will having a lot of scenes, and he’s barely in it. Why does Glee always shove Will down my throat when I don’t want him, but hold back on him when he should actually be there? This is his goddamn wedding and he just got stood up. At least show him going to the honeymoon sweet in the hotel alone or something.

Another nitpicky thing but Mercedes isn’t at the reception and that makes me sad >:(

Songs:

You’re All I Need to Get By: I like the scene that comes before this, but the actual performance is boring, mostly because I do not give a rats ass about Jake and Marley. Also, it’s weird that Marley has solo lines in this. I would understand her singing along to some of it, but why is she singing parts by herself? She didn’t know this performance was happening!! HOW DID THEY CO-ORDINATE!!!

Getting Married Today: An awesome performance and amazing vocals by Jayma Mays. I love all of this except for the weird, floating Will Schuester head that is horribly green-screened to hove over Emma running away.

Just Can’t Get Enough: I really, really like this song. The performance, however, frustrates me. You barely see Kurt and Blaine! There are two scenes interjected in the song of straight couples talking, and almost all of the shots during the song are of straight people dancing. WE GET IT FOX! You didn’t want too much gay on your TV, and this episode already had two boys making out, and the implication of them having sex, as well as two girls having sex. Can’t let the boys actually be seen singing together after all that. (Seriously, though, the cover itself is fantastic).

We’ve Got Tonite: Despite my frustration with Finchel in this episode (and always), I really adore this song. It’s the last time they sing together, but even before it was that I still loved it. It’s slow, but sweet, and has fantastic emotion behind it. Plus, we haven’t had Finchel duets shoved down our throat for quite a while now, so I can appreciate how nice they sound together all the more-so. I also love the sneak-attack group song approach they took. Having everyone sing one line and then Finn and Rachel close it off was really clever and makes for a cool song and a great performance.

Anything Could Happen: This is a fun, upbeat song, and it’s a fun, upbeat scene, but honestly, it feels out of place. We aren’t at a fun, upbeat place when this episode ends. Rachel thinks she’s pregnant. Will can’t find Emma. Finn still feels guilty even though Rachel told him explicitly that it wasn’t his fault. Marley feels weird about Ryder kissing her (even though it wasn’t her fault!). The only storyline that really had a happy ending was the Klaine/Tina one (technically Artie/Betty too, but since we literally never see her again…), so I don’t know why this is suddenly all upbeat and happy. It feels like a really odd note to end such an emotional episode on.

Final Thoughts: I’ve always held this episode close to my heart. There is so much that happens in this episode that is so important to me (mostly Quinntana sexy times, but a lot of it is the Emma stuff too). Yeah, some of it annoys me, and the stuff that annoys me really annoys me, but it doesn’t outweigh all the awesome parts of this episode. Just, overall really strong and well-crafted. A+ Glee!

#ultimate glee ranking

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preserving-ferretbrain · 6 years ago

Text

Tokens, Lampshades, and the Trouble With Deconstruction

by Dan H

Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Dan finds Glee “Problematic”~

There is nothing more infuriating than middle class white boys claiming that some event that mildly irritated them gives them a profound insight into the world of the disadvantaged. “I once blamed immigrants for my own failure, therefore I know what it's like to be discriminated against” that sort of thing.

With this warning, let me tell you about my recent epiphany about stereotypes.

Kyra and I bought the first series of NCIS in order to stop ourselves from having to watch the eye bleedingly awful Lie To Me (tip from the experts: if a woman says she was raped, but isn't acting scared, she's lying).

Anyway NCIS was going well, and largely avoiding the buckets of fail that saturated Lie to Me. And it had a cute goth forensics chick and a Big Machine That Does Science so yay. Then we got to episode four: The Immortals.

In this episode, a young seaman (it's a naval crime show) was found drowned in full dress uniform, with weights tied to his waist.

Amongst his personal effects they found a character charter from an online fantasy game.

The rest was a checklist of horrendous gamer stereotypes.

Gamers unable to distinguish between game and reality. Check.

Gamers made violent by video games. Check.

Gamers driven to murder and/or suicide as a result of online interactions. Check and check.

Use of phrase “taking the game to the next level” (seriously I have seen this in every TV show about video games ever) check.

I mention this because there is a small part of me which , every time I see a horrendously stereotyped character on TV, says “well that's probably quite offensive, but I suppose you have to remember that the stereotype wouldn't exist if there wasn't some truth in it.”

Watching stereotypical portrayals of groups to which I actually belong reminds me that no, actually a lot of stereotypes are just outright fucking lies.

None of this has much to do with anything, but we'll be coming back to it later.

The Magic of Knowledge

So anyway, Glee is a not-exactly-musical not-exactly-comedy about a High-School Glee Club (the clue is in the name) which goes from humble beginnings to be all that and a bag of chips.

The pilot follows the foundation-slash-resurrection of the Glee club, with the recruitment of its six initial members who are respectively:

Rachel, an overambitious girl with dreams of stardom (to the extent that every time she signs her name she puts a gold star next to it, which is a metaphor, for her being a star). We are told that Rachel is very talented.

Finn, a boy who the Dead Poets' Society-esque teacher behind the Glee club frames for drug possession and then blackmails into joining Glee, for his own good.

Kurt, a fabulous gay boy who the writers edited into the show because they were so utterly taken with the actor. He is, to be fair, adorable – although it might be worth pointing out that the character he plays was originally supposed to be Indian. It might also be worth pointing out that Glee has won awards for diversity.

Mercedes, a fat black girl. Astute readers may note that this is the point where the character descriptions get, shall we say, shorter. Mercedes declares early on that she “ain't no backup singer”. This rapidly proves to be wishful thinking.

Tina, an Asian girl. I genuinely do not know what to make of Tina. She dresses in this quirky, slightly gothy style and her audition piece is a rather nice, slightly raunchy rendition of I Kissed a Girl. But she never actually says or does anything. Ever. It's almost like the costume department put more thought into her personality than the writers.

Artie. Artie is in a wheelchair. Artie also seems to spend a good part of the first episode pulling what I can only describe as “disabled face” - leaving his mouth hanging open and twisting his head to the side like he's trying to chew his own ear. Artie is not played by a wheelchair-using actor.

one of the many reviews

that have said all of this before put it: “Mmmm, token-y”.

So yeah. Tokenistic.

But wait! It's okay because the show knows that it's being tokenistic! It is using these “tropes” to be satirical!

Years ago there was a comedy sketch show in Oxford which I didn't actually see, but one of the better exchanges in it, as reported to me by my younger brother was as follows:

“It's not racist, it's satirical!” “What's it a satire of?” “Black people!”

This nicely sums up the issue with the awful stereotypes in Glee. Apparently the mere fact of acknowledging them excuses them. It's not a stereotype if you know it's a stereotype, because then it's satire. You don't even have to subvert or challenge the stereotype in any way. As long as you know about it.

That's the power of knowledge.

Glee gives us a central cast consisting entirely of stereotypes, and does nothing to challenge them.

What it does challenge, however, is the idea that presenting the characters as stereotypes is in any way bad.

Apologia, Apologia, Apologia

The tokenism in Glee is irritating, but it's one of those things I can kind of let slide. It's just a fact of life: fish swim, birds fly, Peter Molyneaux writes crappy video games, and TV shows include token black characters and get given diversity awards for it.

Except.

Except, except, except.

About halfway through the first volume of the boxed set there's an episode in which Sue Sylvester (the evil cheerleading coach) decides to take a “divide and rule” approach in her private war against the Glee Club, sowing dissent amongst the ranks by spreading the completely unsubstantiated and unjustified idea that the Glee Club doesn't give equal representation to its minority members.

The whole episode (Wikipedia informs me that it was entitled Throwdown) is excruciating. Unlike some commentators, I don't have a problem with Sue Sylvester, because I think it's fairly clear we're meant to disagree with her, and that's what makes the episode so difficult. Basically they take all of the criticisms people have of the show and put them in the mouth of a raging psychopath.

So Sue Sylvester splits the glee club in two and seduces all of the minorities over to her side with honeyed words and filthy, filthy lies.

Sylvester's “false” criticisms of the Glee Club boil down to the following:

That the minority characters are margainalised. They are.

That the minority characters are made to stand at the back and act like props. They are.

Two things about this episode are particularly frustrating. The first is that real, legitimate criticisms of the show are presented as lies invented by a balls-out villain. The second is that the minority kids are kind of made to look like idiots for being taken in by the whole thing. Mercedes' unalloyed delight at being presented with Hate on Me to sing is borderline embarrassing: “all right! An R&B song!” she says, she might as well follow it up with “I like this black people music, because I am black!”

The episode ends with the black, Asian, gay and disabled students deciding that they want to go back and work with the pretty white people and that they don't want to be given “special treatment” just because they're minorities. Because apparently getting to do the things that the white kids get to do in every single episode constitutes special treatment.

This would be almost bearable except that “minorities are given special treatment” is a recurring theme in Glee. Rachel constantly uses the spectre of her “two gay dads” to threaten people with the “full force of the ACLU”, and there's an awful scene in the

by no means uncontroversial

episode Wheels where Finn gets a job in a hotel by rolling up to them in a wheelchair and saying “you have to give me a job because I'm disabled.” (I paraphrase, it's actually Rachel who does the talking and she honest-to-shit uses the word “handicapable”).

How the show can have the brass fucking bollocks to repeat the “minorities get unfair advantages” myth while at the same time devoting ninety percent of its screentime to straight, white, able-bodied characters I do not know. Still, it gives you a profound respect for the kid who plays Artie, I mean he managed to overcome the huge disadvantage of not having a physical disability to land a role in a major TV show. And think of the guts it must have taken for the producers to take such a risk – I mean by not casting a wheelchair user they were practically asking for a lawsuit. Hats off to you, Fox.

And to make matters worse, the episode ends with Mr Schuster reminding the kids that “really, they're all minorities, because they're all in Glee Club.” Because having an unpopular hobby is exactly the same as being part of a group which is subject to systematic discrimination, oh yes.

The defence that is consistently wheeled out for Glee being so ragingly tokenistic is the fact that it's doing it all knowingly to subvert the stereotypes. Ironically it's exactly this that I find so disturbing about the series. If it was just full of slightly embarrassing stereotypes I'd be more or less willing to let it slide, it'd be annoying but no more annoying than a large number of other TV shows. The problem is that Glee is aware its being offensive, but refuses to address it. Its like the producers are standing up and saying “hey, we put a black girl and a wheelchair kid in it, what more do you want?”

The Other Sort of Prejudice

The thing is, I can see where the producers are coming from. I think they're wrong, but this is very much an “I believe that you believe it” situation.

The guys behind Glee like the guys behind the Avatar movie, and the guys behind the Earthseaminiseries, really do believe that they cast every role in the series utterly fairly, without prejudice of any kind. If a black kid had been right for Finn, they would have cast a black guy. If an Asian girl had been right for Rachel, Rachel would have been Asian. It just happened not to work out that way. Funnily enough.

Except.

There's an interesting interview on the final disc of the first DVD box set in which series creator Ryan Murphy explained that he already knew Lea Michele, who plays Rachel, before casting her. He explains that the character of Rachel was very much written with Lea Michele in mind. He further explains that despite this fact she “had to audition like everybody else.”

Except no, she didn't audition like everybody else. She auditioned for a part that was specifically written for her in front of people she already knew and who I strongly suspect were all very much inclined to give her the job before she began. She might have auditioned, but she didn't audition “like everybody else”.

Just to be clear, I really like Lea Michele, I think she did really well in Glee, and the fact that the character was written with her in mind really does make her better suited to play the character. But this still gave her a specific, undeniable advantage over the other people who auditioned.

I freely confess that I don't work in casting, but I strongly suspect that if you're casting for a particular role in a show, you're going to have a decent idea of what you want a particular character to look like. And that basically means that people who don't fit your preconceptions aren't going to be as “good” in the role as other people. What seems like an entirely unbiased decision is actually one steeped in your own prejudices – even if it's something as natural and reasonable as prejudice in favour of the girl you wrote the part for in the first place.

The DVD special features were full of cute little anecdotes about the casting process. The actor who played Finn submitted a video audition in which he was drumming on cereal packets and the casting team were so blown away by his verve and passion that they ignored the fact that he didn't actually show whether or not he could sing. The actor cast as Kurt impressed the judges so much that they rewrote his character from the ground up, in order to fit him better. Again I absolutely believe that the producers believe that the extent to which they were impressed with these two actors was a pure product of their individual talent and personality, but the truth is that we react more strongly and more favourably to people we perceive as being similar to ourselves.

Put simply, while Chris Colfer (Kurt) is no doubt adorable, I really couldn't put my hand on my heart and say that he's stand-out more talented than Jenna Ushkowitz (Tina) or Amber Riley (Mercedes). What I can say is that if I was writing a TV show about a bunch of highschool kids singing showtunes, I'd have a much better idea what to do with a cute camp kid than a feisty black girl. With some of Mercedes' dialogue you can practically here the writers saying “quick, what are black people interested in? I know, R&B!”

What makes Glee difficult isn't the fact that the writers are so transparently more interested in their white, able bodied actors than the rest of the cast, it's the fact that they're so obsessed with denying it, and then patting themselves on the back about denying it. What makes it worse is that I really do believe that they believe their own apologia. Unfortunately part of what they seem to believe is that minorities are routinely given special treatment in the name of “political correctness” an that's a belief which is actually harmful (as well as being one which is flatly contradicted by their own casting decisions).

That said, I'll probably still watch the rest of the series because, y'know, showtunes.Themes:

TV & Movies

Minority Warrior

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~Comments (

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)

https://me.yahoo.com/a/EA0c88lilpj2n2eytQTnMdudrtUMV2acww--#ea8e8

at 16:21 on 2010-06-30God, Glee. Hate it. Hate, hate, hate. Have you gotten to the episode where the teacher is an abusive fuckwit and then the show focuses on his angst (not about being an abusive fuckwit) and blames his wife for making her husband act like an abusive fuckwit? Terrifying.

And yeah, the bullshit about beautiful white people "just happening" to fit the major roles . . . I don't even know what to do with that.

I wish it wasn't so rage-inducing, because I have a deep, sparkly love for Jane Lynch, and am thrilled she's in a popular sow. I just wish the show was better.

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Dan H

at 17:09 on 2010-06-30Tragically, I've heard that later on Glee gets a lot better (or perhaps just gets a lot better on some issues). There's a really nice bit later on where Kurt's dad calls out Finn on using "faggy" as derogatory.

The show, it is problematic.

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Viorica

at 17:29 on 2010-06-30Yeah, they spend a lot more time ealing with Kurt's issues and the discrimination he faces than the discrimination faced by Mercedes or Artie. I suspect it's because Ryan Murphy is a gay man himself, and thus is okay with

his

issues being represented, but not the issues of a black girl or a kid in a wheelchair.

Also, there are two cheerleaders (Brittany and Santana) who are hinted at being together, but Ryan Murphy says they won't be exploring that because- and I quote- "

it's not that kind of show

." That was about the point when I actually exploded with rage.

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Dan H

at 17:34 on 2010-06-30Oh dear me.

"Oh come on, you've got the L Word! Why do you need another TV show about lesbians!"

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Viorica

at 18:00 on 2010-06-30"It's not like we deal with gay teenagers anyw- wait."

*sigh*

One of the more frusturating aspects for me is that I have friends who are huge Glee fans, and accuse me of criticising them when I point out the flaws in the show. Being subjected to "SHUT UP YOU DON'T NOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU'RE JUST EMBARASSING YOURSELF" every time I mention the show's problems is a great form of aversion therapy.

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Dan H

at 18:06 on 2010-06-30

"It's not like we deal with gay teenagers anyw- wait."

In all seriousness I suspect that might be part of the problem.

One gay kid = teen show.

Three gay kids = GAY SHOW

One of the more frusturating aspects for me is that I have friends who are huge Glee fans, and accuse me of criticising them when I point out the flaws in the show.

It's difficult. What I find really tough with Glee is that some people genuinely seem to find it empowering (I believe Tiger Beatdown described it as "dismantling the Kyriarchy").

On the other hand, if your friends just don't like you complaining because ZOMG SHOWTUNES then they can ... well they're your friends, so they can Sit Down And Think About What They've Done.

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Viorica

at 18:12 on 2010-06-30

One gay kid = teen show. Three gay kids = GAY SHOW

And the gay kid just happens to be one the creator can identify with. Of course.

My friends actually like it because they can identify with the characters that do get screentime (one's a gay guy) so they insist that criticism of the show is criticism of them, even after I repeatedly denied it, and accused disability/women's advocates of "looking for things to be offended by." I give up.

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Andy G

at 18:20 on 2010-06-30Actually, the Tiger Beatdown quote was:

"I wish I could have titled this piece “How Glee is Dissolving the Kyriarchy Through Song” or “Let’s All Go Out for Equality Slushies, Our Work Here is Done!” But I can’t. Because lately, Glee has been making me squirm. Somewhere along the way, Glee became problematic. It stopped merely depicting systemic prejudice and discrimination, and started contributing to it. And I can remember exactly when it happened."

http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/06/10/wont-stop-believin-a-gleek-turns-against-the-thing-he-loves/

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Dan H

at 18:23 on 2010-06-30Ah, shows what I know.

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Jamie Johnston

at 18:29 on 2010-06-30

What I find really tough with Glee is that some people genuinely seem to find it empowering (I believe Tiger Beatdown described it as "dismantling the Kyriarchy").

Er... are you thinking of

this article

, which says:

I wish I could have titled this piece “How Glee is Dissolving the Kyriarchy Through Song” or “Let’s All Go Out for Equality Slushies, Our Work Here is Done!” But I can’t. Because lately, Glee has been making me squirm. Somewhere along the way, Glee became problematic. It stopped merely depicting systemic prejudice and discrimination, and started contributing to it.

(Admittedly the author identifies different problems from the ones you mention and seems to say that they only set in considerably later in the series.)

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Jamie Johnston

at 18:29 on 2010-06-30D'oh! Andy types faster than I.

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Arthur B

at 18:35 on 2010-06-30

You know, over here at Straight White Able-Bodied Guy HQ we call that "divide and rule".

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Dan H

at 18:37 on 2010-06-30

D'oh! Andy types faster than I.

I shall consider myself well and truly down-smuck.

Generally though there is still positive reception of Glee out there and it does seem to polarise people. I think the issue is that it gets so much right on the one hand and so much wrong on the other.

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Sister Magpie

at 19:25 on 2010-06-30I was really surprised to hear that Kurt wasn't there from the beginning because I always assumed he was sort of the author's stand in. He's gay, he obviously has a feeling for that kind of discrimination, so that's the main discrimination that gets played with.

Though I would say regarding the scene where Kurt's dad tells Finn off, the speech in itself is great (it could perhaps be considered a fantasy speech of things you wish your dad would say in that situation) but even that ep prefers to lean more in the direction of gay being a way you present yourself instead of a sexuality. Which is a fine place to start, but I am still waiting to see if they go into the other aspects of it instead of again claiming that "we're all freaks--because we're in Glee Club!" Um, no. When the bullies call Kurt a freak they mean he's gay. They pick on him because he's gay. They threaten Finn by suggesting he is gay etc.

I remember one ep where they made a joke where people in Glee were voting on something and someone voted for "other Asian"--a background character. That's a perfect example of the show's strange attitude, occasionally lampshading the problems without just not creating the problem.

Especially in eps like Wheels where not only does Finn happily reap the alleged advantages of being a minority, but Artie winds up not even solving the problem that started the ep (that he couldn't ride with the rest of the group on the bus) by sacrificing *his* immediate desires to any disabled people who might come along later. So basically the able-bodied kids complained a lot, but raised some money, and then happily went back to their original attitude of not caring at all if Artie rode the bus with them. The guy in the wheelchair. The only guy who did anything for or cared anything about access for the disabled was the guy in the wheelchair.

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Jamie Johnston

at 22:00 on 2010-06-30Sorry, Dan, I think I must be having a stupid day because I've been turning it over in the back of my head for a couple of hours and I'm still not completely sure how the

NCIS

anecdote relates. Which means I've probably missed something important in the article as a whole. Can I impose on you (or anyone else who is having a intellect-functioning-properly day) for a 'for dummies' version?

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Dan H

at 22:09 on 2010-06-30Partially it doesn't.

Partially it was a holdover from an earlier version of the article that was going to focus more on the "lampshading" element of Glee.

Basically Glee gets a lot of mileage out of people saying "No, don't you see, all these stereotypes are *subversive* because *everybody knows they aren't true*". The thing about the NCIS episode is that for me it highlighted in a very simple, very minor way, the fact that "everybody knows it isn't true" doesn't stop a stereotype being offensive because in fact PEOPLE DON'T KNOW IT ISN'T TRUE.

Then the whole thing morphed and the anecdote was left stuck there like a shark in a roof.

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Viorica

at 22:12 on 2010-06-30

You know, over here at Straight White Able-Bodied Guy HQ we call that "divide and rule".

So it IS a conspiracy!

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http://furare.livejournal.com/

at 02:10 on 2010-07-01

Because having an unpopular hobby is exactly the same as being part of a group which is subject to systematic discrimination, oh yes.

This is probably related to the phenomenon whereby (some) geek guys think that they Understand Women, because, after all, they are discriminated against and therefore can't possibly be part of The Problem. You even get a few guys who claim that, because some things have been difficult for them, there is no systematic sexism in society. After all, they're men! And they got made to suffer for not fitting in! Women are just paranoid for seeing it as a conspiracy against them!

Getting unpopularity caused by a choice you made confused with systematic discrimination is shown quite clearly in Glee as well, when the pregnant girl tells Mercedes that now she's obviously pregnant she Understands what it's like to be black. What?

Because apparently getting to do the things that the white kids get to do in every single episode constitutes special treatment.

That's always the case, though, isn't it? If you're not seen as having the right to be treated like the pretty able-bodied white people, then being treated the same as them is presumptuous. It's special treatment in that you want to be treated *better* than Other People Like You. (Heavy sarcasm filter, needless to say.)

...accused disability/women's advocates of "looking for things to be offended by."

Oh, I hate that one. Horrible, horrible silencing tactic. But seriously, why does anyone need to *look* for things to be offended by? There's so much that is so goddamn offensive that there's no need to look further than the bookshelf in the corner. When someone says that, they're basically saying "I know better than you do what ought to offend you. I don't think this should offend you (because it doesn't offend me) and therefore you are overreacting."

As for "stereotypes aren't true", I think that the mindless spouting of stereotypes - and then defending them by saying there's probably some truth in them - is one of the most prevalent forms of discrimination in our allegedly colourblind/genderblind society. Well, at least, among the nice, "non-discriminatory" people, anyway. I think that's what Dan was saying, so maybe I should've shorted this paragraph to "what he said". But you know us women, we never shut up, right?

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Sister Magpie

at 03:28 on 2010-07-01

If you're not seen as having the right to be treated like the pretty able-bodied white people, then being treated the same as them is presumptuous. It's special treatment in that you want to be treated *better* than Other People Like You. (Heavy sarcasm filter, needless to say.)

Also I think it comes down to the illusion that what the white people get to do in every ep has nothing to do with their being white. Iow, it's not that Mercedes is a backup singer because she's black, it's that Rachel has X,Y and Z about her that gives them a reason to have her on screen a lot and for us to see her story from her pov.

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Frank

at 05:47 on 2010-07-01

Exactly. W. T. F.

(it could perhaps be considered a fantasy speech of things you wish your dad would say in that situation)

I also think the writer's using this opportunity to speak to those in the audience who are identifying with Finn (who has the absolute right to be pissed at Kurt and call him out on his bullshit though not in such a hateful manner) and who thus may be suffering from gaymanphobia.

The season (network?) suffers from gaymanphobia. For all the talk of Rachel's two gay dads, we never see them. Gay sexuality isn't seen. And the lesbian sexuality that is suggested, is obviously for the het male audience as Santana and Brittany use it to their advantage to seduce/trick Finn.

To be fair, there's not much if any healthy het sexuality either but it is treated as normal. Finn successfully though suggestively loses his virginity to Santana (another fail, this time with racial representation because, you know, Latina's are sexual beings, so exotic.) Will the audience ever see Kurt suggestively lose his virginity (which many will assume to be giving up his butt to a dick instead of giving his dick to a butt)? No, because gayman sex is icky.

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Dan H

at 11:49 on 2010-07-01

*nods*

Although for what it's worth, it's not just a geek male thing. Bad Things Happen To Men Too is depressingly common male reaction to the notion of privilege. Just look at the lovely "men's abortion rights" guys.

Sad, but I suspect largely true.

It's like when people complain that student unions have a women's officer but not a men's officer, or complain that everybody talks about violence against women, but nobody talks about violence against men (they do, they just tend to call it "crime" and there are entire branches of government devoted to dealing with it).

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Dan H

at 12:02 on 2010-07-01Oh, wanted to reply to this point too but somehow lost it:

I'm not sure that's a great example actually. Obviously playing the "I knwo what it's like to be black" card is stupid and offensive, but I think it's a bit iffy to describe Quinn's situation as being entirely down to "a choice she made". Even if we leave out the fact that she was apparently sufficiently drunk when she had sex with Puck that it raises some iffy consent issues, the way she's treated afterwards actually *is* evidence of systematic discrimination because it is, in essence, a form of slut-shaming.

Basically I'm very conscious that "well you shouldn't have got pregnant then" is something that people really do say to women, in one way or another in all sorts of situations (it's a common line taken by pro-lifers for example). There's a certain perspective from which Quinn's arc could be seen as "gets kicked out of her house for being date raped" - I don't think it's entirely fair to describe her as just having made unpopular decisions.

Of course none of that gives her the right to say she "knows what it's like to be black" - on a side note, isn't it interesting that we spend so much time in Glee hearing what it's like to be a minority (what it's like to be in a wheelchair, what it's like to be black, what it's like to be gay) but always from a third party. Mr Shu tells the kids what it's like for Artie to be in a wheelchair, Quinn tells Mercedes what it's like to be black. Kurt's dad gets a pass because he's not actually telling Finn what it's like to be gay, he's telling him what it's like to be a homophobe.

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Arthur B

at 12:14 on 2010-07-01It's like that party game where you have the name of a mystery person stuck to your forehead and the person to your left has to describe them to you.

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http://furare.livejournal.com/

at 15:27 on 2010-07-01Fair enough, Dan. That's the only episode of the show I've ever watched, so all I saw was "pregnant white girl tells black girl that teenage pregnancy is Just Like Being Black". I didn't know anything about the extenuating circumstances, just saw the racefail and reacted badly to it. Obviously, the way Quinn is treated is Not Okay either, but pretending that it's in any way equivalent is fail on the same scale as Guy With Unpopular Hobby pretending that this is the same as being a woman.

In my defence, that was the comparison I was making - there is nothing wrong with having sex or getting pregnant, anymore than there is anything wrong with having an unpopular hobby. But Quinn had (at least when I was unaware of possible consent issues) a lot more choice over getting pregnant than Mercedes ever did about being black. That doesn't make it *right* that she's treated the way she is, it just means that it's a different sort of unfair. Which kind of undermines her claim to Understand.

Of course, in the show, this exchange is presented as character development and a heartwarming moment between the two girls.

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Dan H

at 15:40 on 2010-07-01

Fair enough, Dan. That's the only episode of the show I've ever watched, so all I saw was "pregnant white girl tells black girl that teenage pregnancy is Just Like Being Black".

Yeah, I can see how it would be *even more failey* out of context.

In my defence, that was the comparison I was making - there is nothing wrong with having sex or getting pregnant, anymore than there is anything wrong with having an unpopular hobby.

Oh I don't think you've got anything to defend in particular (sorry if I went off on one - I'm afraid I get a bit language police sometimes) I think it's just that I've been spending my off-hours arguing with misogynist assholes on other sites and so was a bit oversensitive. There's a depressing number of people who really do believe that if a bad thing happens to a woman because she "chooses" to have sex then it's ALL HER FAULT. Again, not saying that's you, just being a bit oversensitive.

Also doesn't change the fact that "now I know what it's like to be black" is a failburger with failsauce and a side order of fail.

Of course, in the show, this exchange is presented as character development and a heartwarming moment between the two girls.

Hey, nothing says friendship like appropriation!

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Sister Magpie

at 15:42 on 2010-07-01

That's the only episode of the show I've ever watched, so all I saw was "pregnant white girl tells black girl that teenage pregnancy is Just Like Being Black". I didn't know anything about the extenuating circumstances, just saw the racefail and reacted badly to it. Obviously, the way Quinn is treated is Not Okay either, but pretending that it's in any way equivalent is fail on the same scale as Guy With Unpopular Hobby pretending that this is the same as being a woman.

Yeah, one of the biggest differences it that, of course, Quinn's condition is temporary. Sure people will probably continue to judge her for getting pregnant, but it was still another example of a line the show is very fond of, the one where the person who is in the position of social power has something happen to them or does something that suddenly makes them feel shamed. And now they "know how it feels" to be somebody who's discriminated against all the time. It's not that we can't sympathize with them as people being picked on, and there are some ways that the two situations are related, but it's not the same thing and the show really does seem to link the two a lot.

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Dan H

at 15:46 on 2010-07-01

It's not that we can't sympathize with them as people being picked on, and there are some ways that the two situations are related, but it's not the same thing and the show really does seem to link the two a lot.

*nod*

The one redeeming quality I can think of in this particular example is that at least it's Quinn's *own* experience which acts as the catalyst for her Important Learning Experience, instead of somebody else's. Unlike say in /Wheels/, where Artie gets screwed so that the other kids can learn an Important Lessson About Disability.

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Sister Magpie

at 17:33 on 2010-07-01

Also it's probably better that Quinn, being the cheerleader, does usually own all the privileges she has, and yet truly has had things taken away from her. Being pregnant is something other people can see and react to on sight. It's a bit deeper than suddenly being one of the kids who might get a slushy thrown at them rather than being the slushie thrower. Her dad throwing her out because she's now a slut is not only more serious but goes to the aspect of Quinn that always was a minority. In the past she just denied that.

In a way, I felt like the awkward connection of the whole thing to the experience of a black person was more something the show is always trying to do rather than something Quinn herself, based on her character, would say. She'd probably never have noticed that Mercedes was judged on her looks, much less think that she now knows how Mercedes feels.

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Dan H

at 17:50 on 2010-07-01Thinking about it, if they really wanted to have an episode in which Quinn's pregnancy experience what it's like to be Mercedes, they'd have to have an episode in which she stood in the background, didn't sing very much, and sometimes said things like "well you can count my pregnant ass in, mm-hmm" while wagging her finger sassily.

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Sister Magpie

at 18:04 on 2010-07-01

Thinking about it, if they really wanted to have an episode in which Quinn's pregnancy experience what it's like to be Mercedes, they'd have to have an episode in which she stood in the background, didn't sing very much, and sometimes said things like "well you can count my pregnant ass in, mm-hmm" while wagging her finger sassily.

Very true. She would spend a lot of time being confused at the way her interactions with people never went anywhere and all her conversations with others were about other people whose feelings she was more interested in than her own.

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Dan H

at 18:24 on 2010-07-01

She'd probably never have noticed that Mercedes was judged on her looks, much less think that she now knows how Mercedes feels.

Sorry to keep dwelling on this but:

Also, is it framed as "being judged on her looks?" because if so ... umm ... again that's a rather nasty oversimplification of a hugely complex set of issues. I mean presumably when Quinn's father kicks her out it's not because he's worried she'll get *fat*, it's because she's a filthy dirty slutty mcslutslut. And presumably the creators realize that Mercedes' identity as a black woman has rather more to it than "is female and has dark coloured skin."

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Sister Magpie

at 18:51 on 2010-07-01

Sorry, no it's not. I just worded that badly because I meant she is judged on an aspect of herself that is visible to strangers. A stranger, for instane, can look at Mercedes and identify her as black and so make judgements based on just seeing her, and so can Quinn with her pregnancy showing. The way I put it it sounded like I meant "her looks" as in whether or not she was conventionally attractive--that's not what she meant.

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Lexa

at 20:19 on 2010-07-01Oh, there are so many things I hate about this show!

First off, it really, really bugs me that they have taken the idiotic step of confusing sexuality and gender in Kurt. Yes, Kurt is gay. But the writers seem to have taken 'gay' to mean 'camp and gender-confused'. It's the easiest thing in the world to do, and frankly it disappoints me. Wouldn't it be more interesting if one of the football players was discovering he was gay? You could do amazing things with that, and explore really interesting themes - such as the fact that a lot of gay men don't conform to that stereotype. It's only making more and more people think that the stereotypical 'camp gay guy' is universal to the population.

Then there's the wheelchair thing. If you ever tried to stage 'Children Of A Lesser God' professionally with a hearing lead actress instead of a deaf one, there would be uproar. Partly, I suspect, because Equity (the actors' union) would never let them get away with it. I don't know how these things are handled in the States, but it upsets me that nobody had enough clout to solve this problem. Yes, he's good for the character, but if you can re-write for one actor, what's a few tweaks for another going to hurt?

(Oh yes, and of course having a stutter is comparable to being wheelchair-bound. It cuts you off from society in exactly the same way, didn't you know?)

Casting is a thorny issue, but I wouldn't say that colourblind casting works in every case. For instance, the writers must have had character briefs when they began auditioning.

Take the character of Quinn, for example. How different would things be if she were black? She may not have the upper-class background of the current character, she may not have been head of the chastity club (which seemed to be universally white), and there may not have been the family stigma attached to her being pregnant. All of these factors were, arguably, (and within the context of the show, with its' wonderfully divisive society) directly related to the fact that the character was white and upper-class. Even if she's still upper-class, everything changes. Suddenly the focal issues of the character change, and you have to write in the additional new environment of a mixed-race relationship between her and Finn/Mohawk Dude.

No matter how good a black actress may have been for that role, I really don't think that she would ever have been considered, because it would change a lot of things that the writers wanted for the character. And actually, maybe that's fair enough, because some characters are just that specific to their surroundings.

On the other hand, Rachel could have been black and it would have changed NOTHING. Ditto Mr Schuester.

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Sister Magpie

at 20:41 on 2010-07-01

On the other hand, Rachel could have been black and it would have changed NOTHING. Ditto Mr Schuester.

With Rachel it's even more ironic because part of the joke with her dads was that they don't know which one actually fathered her biologically. She says this, then they show us a picture of her with her two dads, one of whom is black and one of whom is white. So they've already got the set up for her to be biracial, but she's not.

I personally don't have a problem with Kurt being campy just because I think it's dealing with a certain type of personality. Rather than being a person in hiding who's struggling with his sexuality he's out and proud. He himself has accepted he's gay, which can be nice. But it does give them a chance to sometimes act as if gay really is about loving show tunes and fashion and being considered girly, which fits into the whole "we're a bunch of misfits" thing they like to have for a lot of the Glee characters. The club's kind of split between the popular kids and the outcasts according to cliche high school hierarchy. Quinn, the other Cheerios, Finn and Puck are all cool people getting their first taste of doing something officially not cool. Rachel, Mercedes, Artie, non-stutter girl whose name I've just forgotten and Kurt are the nerdy-kids they wouldn't have spoken to before but now are getting to know.

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Jamie Johnston

at 23:04 on 2010-07-01Thanks for the clarification, Dan! Yes, I see how that works.

[Ducks out before being mistaken for someone who knows something about this programme.]

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Dan H

at 23:30 on 2010-07-01

Take the character of Quinn, for example. How different would things be if she were black? She may not have the upper-class background of the current character

I'm pretty sure you *do* get upper-class black people (if the Fresh Prince taught me nothing else, he taught me that). (Reading ahead, I notice that you mention later that she could still have been upper class, so I don't think you're implying otherwise - I'm just a bit twitchy today).

Quinn's an interesting example in fact for exactly this reason. Making her black would have changed nothing - you *absolutely* get rich, privileged kids from black backgrounds, and making their perfect alpha-teen black would have *genuinely* challenged stereotypes. But they didn't and I suspect that, as you say, the reason they didn't is because they felt that being white was part of who she was, even though I am damned sure that there are black girls who are *exactly* like Finn.

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Dan H

at 23:32 on 2010-07-01

Thanks for the clarification, Dan! Yes, I see how that works.

As an example, there's a running joke throughout the series that the other Asian student in Glee Club is referred to (by staff and students alike) as "other Asian".

You SEE. It's FUNNY because it's SUBVERSIVE because we KNOW IT'S RACIST and NOBODY REALLY ACTS LIKE THAT IN REAL LIFE and certainly it's in no way HARMFUL or OFFENSIVE! Because it's GLEE!

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Viorica

at 01:39 on 2010-07-02

If you ever tried to stage 'Children Of A Lesser God' professionally with a hearing lead actress instead of a deaf one, there would be uproar.

I wouldn't be so sure. There's a production of

The Miracle Worker

running in Broadway right now with Abigail Breslin playing Helen Keller.

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Sister Magpie

at 04:30 on 2010-07-02

I wouldn't be so sure. There's a production of The Miracle Worker running in Broadway right now with Abigail Breslin playing Helen Keller

Has there ever been a production of The Miracle Worker, or at least one of note, that didn't have Helen played by a hearing, sighted actress? It seems like Children of a Lesser God is traditionally cast with a deaf actress.

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Lexa

at 10:02 on 2010-07-02But 'The Miracle Worker' closed early in its' run, and when the casting was announced there were huge complaints from the deaf and blind communities. (Also, I believe that it first opened in the 50s, when attitudes were very different to now) It's a huge betrayal to actors who are genuinely deaf, blind and wheelchair-bound when an actor who is none of these things gets a role like that.

And yep, Sarah in 'Children Of A Lesser God' is always played by a deaf actress - and with good reason. They even found a deaf actress for the movie, which is quite impressive when you think about it.

It genuinely upsets me that the actor playing Artie can walk. It's like they're saying "You know what, nobody in a wheelchair can act." Your agent can't find a wheelchair-bound actor? Find one. Hold open auditions, cast a complete newcomer. It's much easier to do that on television than in theatre.

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Dan H

at 10:17 on 2010-07-02Sorry to be the language police again but if we're going to take a stand against ableism can we avoid using the term "wheelchair-bound" because it

genuinely upsets people

I probably wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't been reading that very blog yesterday evening.

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Wardog

at 10:58 on 2010-07-02Wow, this is a minefield. I'm scared of opening my mouth....

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Sister Magpie

at 15:05 on 2010-07-02

But 'The Miracle Worker' closed early in its' run, and when the casting was announced there were huge complaints from the deaf and blind communities. (Also, I believe that it first opened in the 50s, when attitudes were very different to now)

Thanks for that info--I had no idea and I was genuinely wondering about it. Because yes, the original was in the 50s where the idea of hiring a deaf or blind young actress (much less a deaf and blind young actress) would never even have been considered. I remember when Patty Duke, the original Helen, later made a TV movie version where she played Annie Sullivan to Melissa Gilbert's Helen!

So I didn't know if there was some reason that play was not looked at the way CoaLG was, where you assume the part will be played by a deaf actress.

Now I'd really like to see MW with a deaf and blind actress. It would be a totally different performance, I'd imagine. Helen would probably relate to the world far more realistically because the actress would naturally navigate the world with the same senses. Ironically, I'll bet to a lot of people she would appear more able-bodied because of it. She'd be played less as a seeing/hearing person who's been deprived of those senses and more like an individual who uses senses other than seeing and hearing.

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Viorica

at 15:42 on 2010-07-02

Hold open auditions, cast a complete newcomer.

That's actually the argument I keep hearing- that they

did

hold open auditions, and Kevin McHale just happened to be the best actor for the role. Don't know if I believe it, though.

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Dan H

at 23:23 on 2010-07-02

That's actually the argument I keep hearing- that they did hold open auditions, and Kevin McHale just happened to be the best actor for the role. Don't know if I believe it, though.

I believe it, it's just that I believe their criteria for "best actor" were intrinsically, well, faily.

There's a lot of talk in the DVD special features about how you're looking for the "triple threat" - somebody who can act, sing and dance. Given that later on in the series there's a sequence in which Artie does, in fact, dance in a dream sequence - revealing that Kevin McHale is, in fact, a pretty damned good dancer, it seems depressingly plausible that his ability do dance was part of what landed him the role.

This role, of course, being the role of a wheelchair user whose lifetime dream of being a dancer cannot be fulfilled *because he is a wheelchair user*.

It seems nobody thought that maybe the ability to dance *in a wheelchair* might be a better quality to look for in an actor than the ability to dance *when not in a wheelchair*.

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Viorica

at 00:06 on 2010-07-03Yeah, that's what my friend tried to convince me of- that if they hadn't cast Kevin McHale, they couldn't have done the Safety Dance scene, so clearly he was a better choice than an actor who was actually in a wheelchair. The problem with this is twofold: one, it is entirely possible to dance while in a wheelchair, and two, having your disabled character constantly fantasize about not being disabled is juuuuust a bit problematic. It'd be like having Kurt fantasize about being straight. "Oh, if only I wasn't a minority!"

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Sister Magpie

at 00:54 on 2010-07-03

I believe it, it's just that I believe their criteria for "best actor" were intrinsically, well, faily.

And how many people in wheelchairs would bother showing up at an open call, really? I mean, it seems like asking a bit much to expect differently abled actors to assume they're being considered at an open call.

Yeah, that's what my friend tried to convince me of- that if they hadn't cast Kevin McHale, they couldn't have done the Safety Dance scene, so clearly he was a better choice than an actor who was actually in a wheelchair.

It does underline that we're talking about a disabled person as defined by an able-bodied person, doesn't it? If they think it's important that the actor be able to convincingly dance like a person with the use of his legs, if only for dream sequences but not important that he be able to convincingly use a wheelchair like a person who doesn't regularly use his legs. He can't dance in a wheelchair the way the character should be able to do, probably doesn't even use a wheelchair as well as a regular user would.

But they either don't see those problems or assume people will suspend disbelief for them. However when it comes to a fantasy dance sequence they need it to be the actor dancing? Even though the whole fantasy sequence frame would give you plenty of freedom to be as stylized as possible. You could probably even be more creative with it. It's not like Hollywood hasn't done this in many ways over the years when they cast a non-dancer in a dancing role.

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Dan H

at 12:00 on 2010-07-03

But that's *their* fault for being *prejudiced* and assuming that *all able bodied people are ablists*. And we shouldn't support *prejudice*.

It does underline that we're talking about a disabled person as defined by an able-bodied person, doesn't it?

It really does. I can't believe that people *actually* cite the (arguably quite offensive) dream sequence in which Artie imagines what it would be like to be a dancer as a *good and valid* reason that he "had" to be played by an able-bodied actor.

"Hey people with disabilities: we can actually represent what it is like to BE YOU better than YOU CAN"

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Lexa

at 15:17 on 2010-07-03There are hundreds of acting calls out there where they say something like: "Actor wanted. Must be male, mid-late 30s, minority ethnic background." Or words to that effect. If you need someone black for a role, that's what you do. If they had put out one stating that they needed a wheelchair user, then it would have been no different. Sometimes you need an actor to look a certain way, and there's no problem with specifying that - asking for someone in a wheelchair is just the same.

And I say again: if they can re-write one role for one actor and change it completely (Kurt), would it have been so difficult for them to change one character slightly so that a real wheelchair-user could have done it? They can't say 'he wasn't right for the role' for one guy, and then do a shedload of re-writing for another.

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Shim

at 08:46 on 2010-07-04

"Actor wanted. Must be male, mid-late 30s, minority ethnic background."

That must be awkward if everyone who turns up is the wrong minority ethnic background.

"I'm sorry, Mr... Spock, was it? We just don't see you as Othello."

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Jamie Johnston

at 11:17 on 2010-07-04"But that is illogical:

Captain Picard

has played the part, and we are of similar appearance. Is it becos I iz from TOS?"

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Dan H

at 12:47 on 2010-07-04

I don't think you'll get any disagreement here. We're not saying "this is why they did it, and it's legitimate" we're (or at least I'm) saying "this is probably why they did it, and it's fucking offensive".

People get so defensive about it because what we're dealing with here (like the guy in that infuriating Times article Rami just linked to) is *internalized* prejudice. The producers cast Kevin McHale because he was "best" for the role according to their preconceptions about what a "good" actor in musical theatre should be like. Funnily enough, this wound up being somebody white, male, and able-bodied.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/weG8lOsgwf6qv3.5HfEtaiu7gZr1mw--#9e4da

at 00:48 on 2010-07-06As a person with disabilities who has

written rather extensively about Glee

(I wrote the post at Bitch discussed in Daniel's original post), I'd like to specifically rebut the claims made about the dream sequence (although this whole conversation has been very interesting).

I see the argument that Artie had to be played by a nondisabled actor to make that sequence possible all the time, by people who are apparently not aware that what wheelchair users can dance. Had they used an actual wheelchair user in that role, the dance sequence could have involved Artie going to dance camp and learning wheelchair dance, and they could have choreographed a superb dance sequence. Instead, they cast themselves into a corner by using a nondisabled actor.

Glee for some reason seems to be under the impression that people can't dance in wheelchairs. They claimed to have invented wheelchair choreography with 'Wheels' despite ample evidence to the contrary; seriously, search YouTube for 'wheelchair dancing,' and I note that they had to use a stuntman for most of Artie's moves in that episode, suggesting some awareness of the fact that there are actually wheelchair athletes that can do things that nondisabled people who are unfamiliar with a chair cannot do.

Pretty much all of the statements made about McHale's casting smell like rotten fish to me. They 'needed an actor who can sing and dance'? Well, Kevin McHale may be able to sing, but he certainly can't dance in a wheelchair, and there are plenty of wheelchair users who are accomplished singers and dancers who would have been a better fit for that role.

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Dan H

at 11:28 on 2010-07-06Hiya, welcome to Ferretbrain.

The whole dream sequence thing is just wrong on every level really isn't it?

It seems like the producers genuinely did believe the fact that Kevin McHale *isn't* a wheelchair user somehow made him uniquely qualified to play one.

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Jamie Johnston

at 19:54 on 2010-07-06Wow, I know we've had actual known writers commenting on Ferretbrain once or twice before but this is the first time it's someone I've read. Er, hello! [Star-struck.]

I'm amazed to hear they had the gumption to claim to have invented wheelchair choreography. That claim certainly wouldn't have convinced anyone in the UK, where

this wheelchair dance

was all over our televisions many times a day from 2002 to 2006 as a BBC 'ident'.*

* (I don't know whether 'ident' is a term anyone but the BBC uses. It's the little clips a TV channel shows in between programmes or during ad breaks to remind you what channel you're watching.)

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Melissa G.

at 01:10 on 2010-07-07I would just like to mention that someone I went to college with (who became paralyzed during his sophomore year due to a spinal injury) was recently on Glee. And he wrote a really interesting

blogpost/article

about his experience with the show. Just thought you all would be interested.

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Dan H

at 10:28 on 2010-07-07Obviously it's great that your friend's landed a part in the series, but I'm a bit uncomfortable with his complaining about people criticizing the show. He's entitled to his opinion of course, but so are other people.

I have absolutely no doubt that the cast, crew and writers of /Glee/ are not *consciously* ableist. I have no doubt that they will be very nice to your friend, but it *is* legitimate to criticize them for casting an able-bodied actor as Artie, just as it would be legitimate to criticize them for having a white girl black up to play Mercedes.

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Melissa G.

at 17:51 on 2010-07-07@Dan

Coming from a background where I've been on both sides of the casting table (I'm an actor and I've helped cast things as well), I can't really agree completely with how heated everyone is about Artie's casting. Yes, it would have been great if they found an actor in a wheelchair to play Artie, but for me, as long as equal consideration was given to both abled and disabled actors, I really can't get too angry about it.

Of course, I realize that my opinion comes with privilege and that, of course, as an able-bodied person, I don't have much right to say anything either way. The reason I linked Zach's article was because I thought there was more meaning to hearing his opinion than mine. But I'm certainly not going to say that anyone is wrong for being upset. It's just not something I personally agree with. And to me, the fact that Zach got a part on the show (even though he was competing against able-bodied actors during the casting session) must count for something?

As far as the dream sequence goes, I highly doubt the show had any idea they would even do that until about two weeks before the episode was shot, and from what I know of TV, it's likely that they just said, "Oh, hey, since Kevin can walk in real life, why don't we do a dream sequence where we see him dance?" Had he actually been a wheelchair-using actor, they obviously wouldn't have done the scene or would have done it a different way. But I might be misunderstanding why exactly people are angry about it.

To be honest though, I have a feeling this is an agree to disagree type of situation.

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Dan H

at 00:47 on 2010-07-08

But I might be misunderstanding why exactly people are angry about it.

I'm not really qualified to speak on behalf of People With Disabilities, but if I had to explain why I *think* people are so upset about it, it would be something like this (this may get long).

One way to view disability is that people with disabilities are just people who can't do some things that other people can do. If you follow this definition then casting able-bodied actors in disabled roles is sort of like casting bilingual people in non-bilingual roles: a complete non-issue.

The other way to view disability (as I understand it) is like race or gender: a part of somebody's identity which has physical manifestations. If you follow this definition casting an able-bodied actor in a disabled role is exactly as bad as having black roles played by white actors in blackface.

By the first definition, discrimination against people with disabilities is effectively a non-issue. Disabled people are by definition less able than nondisabled people, and if your disability prevents you from doing something well ... that's why they call it a disability. Many people (including, I suspect, many people with disabilities) are completely okay with the first definition and that is not something I feel in a position to judge. By this definition providing wheelchair access to a public building is effectively a courtesy you provide to the less fortunate.

For many people, however, it is important to recognize that people with disabilities are a social group that can be excluded by social mechanisms. While people with disabilities may do things differently to able-bodied people, they do actually do all of the same things. To these people *failing* to provide wheelchair access to a building is discrimination just as much as it would be to put a sign in the window saying "no blacks no Irish".

The reason people are so upset by the whole "wheelchair users can't dance" theme which runs through Glee is that it reinforces the notion that exclusion is a natural part of what it means to have a disability. To people who subscribe to the second model of disability "wheelchair users can't dance" is exactly as offensive a statement as "gay people can't have children" or "women can't do science".

As you say, it's an agree to disagree situation, I just thought I'd try (as best I can) to explain what I think people are disagreeing about.

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Melissa G.

at 05:34 on 2010-07-08

To people who subscribe to the second model of disability "wheelchair users can't dance" is exactly as offensive a statement as "gay people can't have children" or "women can't do science".

Okay, I see. That clears it up. And yes, wheelchair users *can* dance and it would be nice to see them let Artie do that and achieve his dream.

If you follow this definition casting an able-bodied actor in a disabled role is exactly as bad as having black roles played by white actors in blackface.

This is where it gets tricky for me. And I'm not sure I can explain this without sounding horribly insensitive, but I'll give it a go.

For me, saying that only a wheelchair using actor should play a wheelchair using character is an idea that can be taken to rather dangerous place. If you start saying that people can only play roles that they actually are, you're saying that only straight actors can play straight roles or only Jewish actors can play Jewish characters. Anyone with the right look and skills should be considered for any role. The whole point of acting is to become something or someone that you're not. And to take that to another level, I work with a disabled actor in my workshop classes, and I know for a fact that he wants to be considered for parts that are *not* written to be disabled. If we want casting directors to consider him for non-disabled parts, I feel like we need to extend that to "consider everyone who could play this character for the part". And from there, I trust that the casting people will actually pick the person who is most right for the role. And having met many casting directors, trust me, they're really very good at it.

Again, I know people will disagree with me, and they have every right to. I just wanted to add something from an acting viewpoint as well. (Please don't bite my head off....)

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Shim

at 11:37 on 2010-07-08(warning, long post)

I can see where you're coming from and agree to some extent, but I think there's a couple of issues involved here.

For one thing, there are several types of characteristic that might affect casting.

- There are characteristics that almost inevitably affect the character: age, gender, ethnic group, height, body type, certain physical disabilities. The actor's traits carry across to the character unless massive effort goes into disguising them.

- There are characteristics that genuinely limit what the actor can do, including some physical and mental disabilities, but also ability (singing, multilinguism, etc.). This means that actor can't do specific things, but doesn't mean the character has to be

portrayed

in that way: you can avoid showing those activities, or use stunt doubles and voice doubles.

- There are "hidden" traits that don't necessarily affect the actor's range of ability or come across to the character. These include sexuality, regional origin, social class, and some mental conditions.

The first category tend to restrict what roles people can do because many roles are designated for specific types of person. This is especially the case with historical figures, but also applies to stories in particular settings and particular types of character, or to combinations of characters. Dame Judy Dench cannot credibly play Harry Potter. Arnold Schwarzenegger makes an unconvincing Gandhi. Children are often expected to be the same ethnic group as their parents. A cast of white kids just don't fit in a Chinese epic set in the Qing Dynasty. A very short cast is not a realistic basketball team, and a very fat cast is not a realistic national football team. Theatre tends to be far more generous with this sort of casting than film and TV. Taking the semi-realism of film & TV as the standard, then yes, I'd argue that Jewish actors (or at least, actors who look Jewish*) should play the characters.

The second category makes it difficult for actors to play particular roles. Stephen Hawking doesn't match up to Arnie as Conan and the work required to allow him to play the part would be astronomical (how appropriate). Similarly, if someone has an unshakeable heavy Russian accent, they just may not be suitable as Queen Elizabeth. Deafblind actors may struggle in a Jackie Chan film. However, as I said, you might be able to adapt the part or avoid or double certain activities to make them a viable choice, and of course the severity of these restrictions varies. In some circumstances, though, it seems like a reasonable decision to say a person is unsuitable.

The third category really shouldn't enter into the casting process. They might affect an actor's ability to get into character, but for a good actor, shouldn't define whether or not they can do the part. There's no reason why a straight part has to be played by a straight actor.

However: there is also the issue of equal opportunities, or more specifically fair opportunities.

While many roles could be played by anyone, they are often effectively restricted. Minority actor X might be a great fit for the grandfather role, but if the rest of the family has been cast as a different ethnic group, the directors simply can't see a way to fit X in. Or it would require a significant rewrite, whereas actor Y can slot straight in there. If the plot requires the heroine to have life-changing experiences while running marathons, an actress who can't walk or run is a big obstacle. If it's a full-blown kung fu film, a complete ignorance of kung fu is a problem.

Other roles require specific actor traits, so your Aboriginal family need to look more or less Aboriginal, Henry VIII needs to be a Caucasian bloke, and your basketball players need to be tall.

A third type of role needs someone who can portray a particular type of character, without necessarily needing that trait themselves. This ties in with the third category: traits like personality, nationality, class, education, magical powers, emotions, illness and some disabilities can be portrayed by actors without those traits.

The thing is that while the second type of roles exclude majority actors who don't fit the bill, both the first and second types tend to exclude minorities. This means a far smaller range of opportunities is open to them, which in itself reinforces the problem because it's harder to build up a reputation, experience and contacts. That being the case, I'd say it's even more important to consider them carefully for minority-specific roles, and to be

less

open to rewrites and other adaptive measures for the sake of casting non-minority actors.

Wheelchair users are actually a slightly unusual case, because you don't need to be a wheelchair user to act the part. This puts them at an even greater disadvantage than many other disabilities, because not only are they excluded from many roles not written for wheelchair users; they are also competing with able-bodied actors (who have had more opportunity to get experience and recognition) for roles as wheelchair-using characters. Thus, open casting for wheelchair users reinforces the discrimination. Hence the blackface comparison.

Obviously that doesn't mean they shouldn't be considered for non-chair-using roles, any more than all-women MP shortlists mean women shouldn't apply for other constituencies. It's not really about making casting completely open; it's about preventing passive disadvantage to minorities from the passive advantage and sheer numbers of the majority.

*I appreciate this is getting into the situation where people are concerned by ethnic minority A actors taking roles as ethnic minority B characters. I don't want to discuss that right now, I was just referring to getting a convincing cast.

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Dan H

at 12:12 on 2010-07-08

Anyone with the right look and skills should be considered for any role.

I think this is the crux of the issue (and again this might get a bit long).

For many years, to a white audience, a man in blackface had the right "look" to play a black man on stage or on film. Even after people came to realize that this was not acceptable, the film and television industry carried on doing the

exact same thing

with Asian characters because, to a white audience as long as somebody has their eyes taped back they look convincingly Asian (scanning down the wikipedia article, people still do this today). Of course to a lot of Asian people this is fantastically offensive.

To a lot of disabled people, Kevin McHale absolutely does *not* have the "right look and skills" to be considered for the role of Artie. For a start he can't dance in a wheelchair which for somebody in a show which is all about singing and dancing is a bit of a flaw. Not only that, but (I am given to understand) many people find the way McHale handles a wheelchair awkward, uncomfortable, and unconvincing. To people who actually use wheelchairs, McHale does not do a convincing job of portraying somebody who spends a large proportion of every day in one.

None of these things are immediately obvious to an able-bodied audience (or, I suspect, to able-bodied casting directors) because we define disability by inability, and think that being a wheelchair-user means "not being able to walk" instead of "being able to use a wheelchair". The reason many people find "crip drag" offensive is because they feel it should not be up to able-bodied people to decide what disabled people are supposed to look like.

I absolutely believe that Kevin McHale was chosen because he had the right look and skills to play Artie, but I also believe that what people considered to be the "right look and skills" to play Artie was based on quite a lot of harmful misconceptions about disability.

Put it this way. Look at the following picture

of the cast

. Perhaps I'm just being guided by hindsight but just looking at those pictures (which are all head-and-shoulder shots) you know *instantly* which of those characters is "wheelchair kid" - it's the pale gawky looking one because that's what able-bodied people think disabled people look like. It's even more apparent in the

DVD Cover

where he is actually pulling the "biting your own ear" face I describe in the article.

If I was a casting director, Kevin McHale is exactly the person I would cast as wheelchair kid. He looks exactly how I expect disabled people to look (pale, unhealthy, and uncomfortable) and his awkwardness in a wheelchair wouldn't even register with me, because I *expect* disabled people to move awkwardly because, well, they're disabled.

And to take that to another level, I work with a disabled actor in my workshop classes, and I know for a fact that he wants to be considered for parts that are *not* written to be disabled. If we want casting directors to consider him for non-disabled parts, I feel like we need to extend that to "consider everyone who could play this character for the part".

I think you're in danger of falling into the "reverse prejudice" trap here.

There is a big difference between disabled actors wanting to be considered for roles that are not specifically written as disabled, and non-disabled actors wanting to be considered for roles that are. Not least of those differences is the fact that while disabled actors are routinely *not* considered for roles that aren't specifically written for them, they have to be especially protective of those that are.

To come back to the race example, it's the difference between a black actor wanting to be considered for the role of Dr Who and a white actor wanting to be considered for the role of Martin Luther King Jr. One involves taking a character who habitually (and for no especially good reason) is cast as white and asking for the opportunity for equal treatment. The other involves asking people to accept that one of the most famous and significant figures in the civil rights movement can be adequately represented by a white guy.

There is a big, big difference between actors with disabilities, or actors of colour, or female actors, asking to be considered for parts in which race, disability, and gender play no significant role, and white, able-bodied male actors asking to take roles which *are* specifically written as disabled, non-white, or female. (I should add that gender isn't a great example here, because regendering roles is slightly different to merely whitewashing them).

What's offensive about blackface, and about yellowface, and about crip drag, is the notion that "white and able-bodied" is some kind of master template from which everything else can be derived. A black man is not just a white man with dirty skin. An Asian person is not just a white person with their eyes pulled back. A disabled person is not just an able-bodied person sitting down.

Should every actor who *can* play a role be considered for that role? Absolutely. But for many people an able bodied actor *can not* play the role of a wheelchair user. For many people Kevin McHale *is not* convincing as Artie, because Artie is supposed to be a wheelchair user and Kevin McHale *obviously* isn't.

And having met many casting directors, trust me, they're really very good at it.

I'm sure they are, but that does not mean they are without prejudice, or do not have privilege.

Kevin McHale was an excellent choice for Artie in the sense that he looks exactly the way the average, able-bodied audience member expects a wheelchair user to look. He was also an excellent choice for a character whose entire arc seems to be about how having a disability means having a less complete life. Insofar as Artie's function as a character is to be tragic and sympathetic, he is well cast.

The problem a lot of people seem to have with Kevin McHale is not that he did not fit the character per se, but that the character itself is a harmful jumble of stereotypes.

I hope this doesn't come across as biting your head off, just still trying to explain why I think the criticisms of McHale are legitimate.

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Sister Magpie

at 15:52 on 2010-07-08

Just wanted to say I thought this whole post summed up the issues really well, at least the way I see them at play. If we lived in a world where the majority of people used wheelchairs, McHale's awkwardness at handling one would probably be a no-brainer. That kind of unconscious thinking happens a lot with the white able-bodied template. Like as I often said w/regard to the Avatar casting, nobody ever considered making the LOTR cast there were no discussions about Middle Earth not really being Europe and therefore the entire Fellowship should be Asian--on the contrary both there and Harry Potter it was agreed right away that convincingly white and British was the starting point for everyone.

Basically, I think we're trying to work towards a comfortable balance between blind casting where the audience is expected to accept an actor whose race isn't supposed to be taken literally and specific casting where race is an issue.

I do remember once someone on lj making a horribly misguided (imo) post where she seemed to literally be arguing that whatever specific background an actor had, that was what the character had. She was arguing that it was stupid for people to talk about the Jimmy Smits character on The West Wing being the first Latino US president when Bartlett was a Latino president--because Martin Sheen is. Even though Bartlett's ethnicity was a stated part of his character. *That* I think was definitely a case of the slippery slope where things are getting silly.

Also, we shouldn't forget that the show does have an actual disabled cast member in a recurring role--the Cheerio who has Down Syndrome. Perhaps Life Goes On changed things when it came to that particular condition, or maybe it's that it's got such a distinctive physical look (distinctive enough that it's almost like a wheelchair only it's not a prop or a costume), or again maybe it's that people with Down Syndrome have proven themselves enough as a group as actors, but I would have been surprised if they'd cast that role with a person who didn't have Down Syndrome.

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Sister Magpie

at 15:58 on 2010-07-08Also while I'm blabbing on, let me go off on a tangent. But I wonder if another unconcious prejudice that can come into play is a discomfort with the disabled. Of course I can't say this was at all a factor in the Glee casting. But I think there are situations where able-bodied people are just made a little less comfortable or a little more nervous when dealing with someone who has different limitations. So that could probably also weigh in favor of preferring the able-bodied actor. Obviously not all the time, as the actor who wrote the blog is disabled and got a part--though even there if this kind of thing was an unconscious factor people would probably feel a lot more confident hiring someone for one episode than as a series regular.

Again, I don't want to make it seem like I'm accusing the Glee cast of doing this, especially not consciously. But it seems like from things I've read disabled people say, this is something they deal with.

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Melissa G.

at 17:24 on 2010-07-08I can't really argue with anything anyone is saying. And it makes more sense to me to call the character of Artie offensive or insulting than to harp on about the casting choice, in my opinion, but that's getting into semantics.

I still can't completely agree with it, but that may be because I Just Don't Get It, which I'm willing to accept and admit that maybe my opinion is a little less significant given my privilege.

But I do want to say that I appreciate everyone responding to me in a calm, non-defensive manner so we could have an actual conversation about what I think is a complicated issue. But I'm not sure I particularly have anything more insightful to say about it at this point. (Also, watch Zach's episode; he did a good job!! ^_^)

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Jamie Johnston

at 19:09 on 2010-07-08Yeah, it's been a really interesting discussion. And I think we'd probably all agree that casting is only part of the problem, and not the biggest part. (It's certainly only one of many complaints in Dan's original article.) Even if casting were never affected by prejudice in any way (which I don't think anyone here suggests), we'd still be left with far too many series that are written to either ignore the diversity of people and experiences in the world or deal with that diversity using token characters and cheap stereotypes.

And we'd also probably all agree that the workings of prejudice are much more easily seen over the broad sweep than when looking at any single creative decision. Casting Kevin McHale as a wheelchair-using character would be much less problematic than it is (however much that may be) if the show had lots of actors with disabilities, or if it didn't but there were plenty of other TV series that did, or even if there weren't that many actors with disabilities on our screens but there were enough suitable parts being written to encourage more young people with disabilities to become actors.

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Shim

at 08:42 on 2010-07-09It's always difficult when you're talking about generalities but focusing on a specific example. Quoting Dan in a vaguely web-incestuous way:

"I don't think you can look at any single work of fiction and say "that character, right there, should have been black".

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Jamie Johnston

at 12:41 on 2010-08-17The casting issue, in

Glee

and more generally, on

This ain't livin'

from a few days ago.

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Arthur B

at 12:42 on 2010-08-17A little happy news: I just started watching

Breaking Bad

, which includes a character with cerebral palsy played by an actor who actually has cerebral palsy. At last.

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http://someobsessive.livejournal.com/

at 10:06 on 2010-08-20I just wanted to let you know that I have included several quotes from your articles on my new tumblr:

http://wholesomeobsessive.tumblr.com/

if you would like to check it out.

Sister Magpie quotes are also there.

Thank you for your articles, and for directing me over to deathtocapslock. I am being very well entertained this summer.

:-)

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Robinson L

at 15:00 on 2010-12-21Still not seen

Glee

, and still probably never will, but do have a few thoughts. One of them being that Noah Antwiler of The Spoony Experiment

also took exception to The Immortals

. In detail.

And while I haven't see the show, ptolemaeus watched the first season with our cousin last year, and she had the same problems with

Throwdown

(the Sue-Sylvester-tries-divide-and-conquer-tactics episode) you bring up. Color me unsurprised.

Also, did I dream up the part where somebody (and I could've sworn it was Dan), said something about Sue Sylvester later being depicted as more sympathetic, and that this actually makes the show's problems *worse* because—if I remember the argument correctly—now it's a likable person saying and thinking all those nasty things? That struck me as a bit odd, because while I can sort of see the logic behind it, I've always viewed treating nasty characters sympathetically and not just saying “ehn, they're just evil,” as a good thing. I didn't dream all that up, did I?

Dan: Partially it was a holdover from an earlier version of the article that was going to focus more on the "lampshading" element of Glee.

Was that version also going to go more into what exactly the “Trouble With Deconstruction” is? From all I've heard, it sounds more like the trouble is that the show lampshades it's own stereotypes without really questioning or subverting (deconstructing) them.

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https://profiles.google.com/117083096049946525193

at 02:46 on 2013-07-07Oh, this has only gotten far worse as the show has hit it's fourth season.

First, Brittany and Santana did become a couple and broke up. Brittany, being bisexual, decided to date Sam (a season 2 character), but was hesitant because the lesbian blogging community was going to hurt him. I wish I was making this up. AfterEllen had a riot on that. Sorry we're upset that our representation isn't on screen anymore. And as a lesbian myself, I do have to say, it was really frustrating how for the rest of the series, except maybe two times, they completely forgot those two dated.

The biggest fail though is the transgender (mtf) black woman named Unique. First of all, it took me a while to figure out whether she was supposed to be transgender or a drag queen (because she talks in the third person regularly, and talks about Unique like a persona, not as herself). Second, SO MANY TIMES in the show, people are calling Unique Unique/Wade (the male name). Now, I know a million idiots across America are going to think this is acceptable behavior. And finally, they made her a catfish. The transgender as deceptive/predatory is a pretty common trope, and I think a damaging one, for everyone involved.

And the final Glee minority fail. Unique is also a big girl, and is basically the replacement for Mercedes. Brittany literally calls Unique Mercedes, SEVERAL TIMES. Uuuuugh. . .

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Fishing in the Mud

at 23:41 on 2013-07-07Ryan Murphy can totally make fun of lesbians and transgender people because he's gay. Isn't it great?

Yeah, no. What a fucking worthless hack.

#Ferretbrain #Dan H #Minority Warrior #Glee

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sickofyourfandombullshit · 7 years ago

Text

Heathers 2018

So when I saw @princess-has-a-pen post about the new Heathers remake I had to look it up for two reasons:

1. I’m a huge fan of the Movie and Musical and 2. I had to see the fucking horror show that Spike TV was no doubt going to turn it into.

Now Princess asked in their tags the exact same thing I asked myself when I saw the post:

“Why?”

Well friends, strap yourselves in cuz I’m about to take you for a fucking ride.

Why remake Heathers? A movie that has solidified itself as a cult classic for it’s gritty, fucked up story and characters that took pretty much every kid who went to high school in the 80′s (or any time really) life and amped it up to 11?

Cuz the original Heathers is full of 'problematic' things and they can now remake it to be more 'progressive' while snagging a new audiance of younglings who know about Heathers because of the musical.

Now my friends, as I stated before, I love both the movie and the Musical, but as a mature, rational fan over the age of 30, I can look at something I love and point out it’s flaws and believe me, when it comes to the source material, Heathers the Musical is stuffed full of flaws and that creates some problems.

I am pretty sure all the Tumblrinas who idolize ‘Heathers’ have only seen the musical because honestly, the ‘date’ scene where Heather McNamara gets raped in the background would be enough to make them REEEEEE all the way to the fucking bank.

Like legit, she is literally struggling under her date (and not in a fun way) to make him stop and Veronica just fucking leaves her there. We don’t see her get away or anything, so you can only assume that that whole thing didn’t end well, especially given how miserable McNamara is in the movie to begin with.

The Muscial made light of a lot of the grim parts the movie worked to highlight, specifically bullying and suicide and the dangers of giving into pressure and just being a fucking terrible human being. Not to mention it twisted things in a way that actually reinforced some harmful tropes. Specifically with the two main characters JD and Heather.

JD in the movie is a completely sociopath who physically and mentally abuses Veronica for almost the entire thing and in the Musical they gave him the stereotypical ‘troubled boy who wanted to make the world better but it just got out of hand’ treatment. Like “Oh yeah, he murders three people and tries to blow up a school but his dad’s a jerk and his mommy committed suicide so you can’t blame him! Deep down he’s just a tortured soul who really loves Veronica!”. Spoilers! He doesn’t love Veronica, at least not in any way that should be even entertained as any sort of ‘love’. He and Veronica’s relationship coupled with his ‘sacrifice’ at the end of the play made me cringe extra hard because it felt like it was romanticizing abusive relationships and in all honesty it was. A specific scene from the Musical where I thought they were actually going to address the toxicity of their ‘relationship’ (at the end of the ‘Our Love is God’ musical number where Veronica seems to have a mental break down as she screams ‘Our Love is God’ over and over again as if to drown out the fact that she just assisted in the murder of two people), was brushed under the rug the next scene and seemingly forgotten about till something ELSE big happens and then it’s fucking Ground Hogs Day apparently.

Veronica in the movie joined the Heathers before the movie even began because she wanted to be popular and due to her skill in forgery is pretty much made their pet project. She’s not as much of a cunt as Chandler or Duke but she's still pretty fucking bad. She kills Kurt herself, blows off her actual best friend in exchange for shallow popularity, laughs over Heather Chandler dying and only turns on JD when the suicide note she writes for Heather Chandler backfires and causes people to glorify Chandler as a saint. This as well leads her to realize that it’s pointless to kill people because someone else just takes their place as “The Mythic Bitch” ala Heather Duke’s transformation (also because JD straight up slaps her in the face for trying to back out on him). She only ever does anything semi sweet at the VERY end after JD gets blown up. In the Musical she is portrayed as a sweet innocent little buttercup who is super besties with Martha and sticks up for the little guy and never meant to hurt anyone and was just dragged into everything bad by bad people. She feels constantly guilty for it and seems unable to make any actual choices herself outside of breaking into JD’s house to fuck him. She’s totally innocent guys. Totes.

And before you say “C’moooon it’s a fuckin’ Muscial!” you need to go watch you some Dear Evan Hansen or Les Miserables because those two Musicals are heavy as fuck and had no problem in showing how fucked up serious shit like war and suicide was through flawed characters.

Now with this new series coming out it seems destined to fail. It has only been releasing Instagram videos to promote the show and already it’s hitting all the same old PC points while being SO EDGY at the same time. It’s Riverdale all fucking over again.

“The terrible trio is more like a set of outcasts who have taken over Westerberg High School.” -EW article

Like really? Fuckin’ really? The Heathers were all popular girls due to their wealth (McNamara), beauty (Duke) and over all exuding of confidence and attitude backed up by all of the previously stated assets (Chandler). They weren’t a bunch of outcasts. They took pride in how they looked and how people saw them. I don’t understand this fucking need to make every kid nowadays an ‘outcast’ in an effort to make them ‘relatable’. They did it to every kid in the Power Rangers remake and MJ in Spider-Man: Homecoming and it’s starting to get fucking annoying. Oh well, gotta get them kids with all that EDGE!

So let’s look at the ‘Heathers’ (I can’t bring myself to not put that in quotation marks when talking about these piles of hot garbage):

Heather Chandler is a plus-sized, Skrillex haired edge lord who looks like every Tumblr Feminist/Suicide Girls reject and literally gives off no aura of power or fear at all. She just comes off as some fat bitch who found the HAAS RadFem movement on Twitter and used it to fill herself with enough undeserved self importance to justify being a cunt to everyone. Yes, where the original Heather Chandler got her power and reputation through sheer intimidation and personality, this Heather Chandler looks like the type of girl who will physically assault you in the bathroom and threaten to sit on you till you die.

Gee golly, I see Heather Duke is a sassy gay male now (and a white one at that). Wow, it’s not like that hasn’t been done a billion fucking times. Funny that he’s a white dude whose character in the movie and play turns out to capitalize on Heather Chandler’s death to raise their own status to the ‘queen bitch’ of the school. That’ll do GREAT for gay stereotypes I’m sure.

Aaaaand Heather McNamara, our possibly Asian possibly Latinx butprobably just party bag of mixed race token character who is the literal punching bag of the group. At least that seems to have not changed but I am sure it’ll help add shallow sympathy since now it’s not a bunch of white kids beating up on a little white girl, it’s a bunch of white kids beating up on a little minority girl. Goodie goodie.

The rest:

JD literally gets nothing to show from his video except one speaking line where he is telling Veronica that she’s “Not like Heather Chandler” she’s “better” while quick cutting a bunch of random shots from the show that mostly seem pointless and just confusing with one flash of him apparently running the flat of a knife on his palm behind his back? So we get nothing from our poor, tortured sociopath. I can just hear the producers of this show now: “We can’t show him being too soft or the old fans might not watch it and can’t show him being a psychotic asshole or the Musical fans won’t watch it, so make it just as cluster fucking and confusing as possible so no one will ask questions and just be drawn in with all the cheap visual click bait!”

For Veronica we again get nothing. One line of “Dear Diary, I hate my friends but that doesn’t mean I want them DEAD!” followed by more random cuts of shots from the show, many of bloody scenes and hints of violence but a lot more of just weird confusing scenes that make no sense. It’s kind of funny for the sheer reason that they seem to be banking on people just already knowing who these characters are ala the original movie but at the same time are trying to pull in new audience members with all the vague quick cutting which they seem to have mistaken for ‘mystery’.

And last but not least, we have Betty Finn. What’s that? “Who if Betty Finn?” all you fans of the Musical ask? Well you wouldn’t know who Betty is unless you watched the MOVIE cuz Betty is who Martha Dump Truck replaced in the Musical because Betty wasn’t fucking sad sacky enough and they didn’t want to clutter the script with such a minor character. Betty was smart and an actual good person, the only good person in the movie honestly, who was Veronica’s friend since they were in diapers. She didn’t have a huge part in the movie outside of providing some blackmail material for JD to use against Heather Duke and trying to get Veronica to stop being such a moron (which failed). Now she’s appears to be the stereotypical side character that will be prominent in the show, probably as a comic relief character or plot device to be used against Veronica at some point.

Now, there is a huge question you have to ask:

Where is Martha? Will Martha even be in the series? Alright, it’s two questions but you get the point.

I have two guesses;

1. Possibly

but more than likely

2. No. Absolutely not.

Why do you ask? Because Martha’s character served as a plot device in both the Movie and the Musical to show how awful the Heathers really were and how their bullying was actually dangerous. Martha was a fat, slow, ugly dump of a girl. Problem is, you can’t make fun of that anymore. It’s not ‘progressive’ to make fun of people with those flaws. As well it wouldn’t make sense, Heather Chandler is fat in this remake. Unless they’re going to go full retard with some kind of ‘internalized fatphobia’ shit it wouldn’t make sense to make fun of Martha for that. Heather McNamara is the stereotypical ditzy airhead which doesn’t seem to have changed in this remake so to make fun of someone being ‘slow’ while laughing at an Air-Head-of-Color would just be super duper mean!

If they DO put Martha in, she will either have to still be dumpy, slow and fat and end up being the most popular character in the end for ‘not giving into societies beauty standards’ or some shit, OR she will have to actually flat out die from her suicide attempt to push the EDGE and drive plot.

Either way this whole thing is going to be a train wreck that will either take off at the idiotic rate in which Teen Wolf and Riverdale did or be an utter failure.

I seriously hope for the latter. Sorry this is so long and there are probably some spelling and grammar errors. It’s literally 2:30 in the morning and the Monster I drank is starting to ware off so I’m running on fumes.

#heathers 2018 #heathers #heathers the musical

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smugsmythe · 8 years ago

Text

The One With Repugnance || Seblaine

Date: February 28th, 2017

Locations: The Cock bar & Seblaine’s Apartment

Who: Blaine Anderson & Sebastian Smythe

Notes: Sebastian and Blaine are called out to a bar with Hunter. Much to their dread and dismay, the night goes about as horribly as Blaine had expected.

repugnance /rəˈpəɡnəns/ noun strong distaste, aversion, or objection; antipathy.

"In short, he was carried away by the repugnance which dominated him."

Sebastian Smythe:

Sebastian was only somewhat looking forward to hanging out with Hunter and he tried to stay optimistic-- telling himself that it would be good to see a familiar face from Dalton and it would be his first real outing with Blaine as an unofficial couple. The two still hadn’t exactly defined their relationship, but without question they were romantically interested in one another and that was more than enough to keep Sebastian happy.

Blaine had voiced his opinion on not wanting to hang out with the fellow Warbler, noting that the man was not only a thief and a bully, but also had a history with steroids. Sebastian tried his best to reason with his friend, reminding him once again that people were capable of change and the last time he and Hunter had a few drinks together, they’d actually had a good time. “He’s bringing a friend; think of it more as a double date,” he told Blaine as they dressed in casual party attire. Sebastian pulled off a nice maroon dress shirt, favoring the color red as of late. They were to meet Hunter and his Air Force buddy at a gay bar in the East Village-- a dive named “The Cock”. When the two of them pulled up onto 2nd Avenue in a taxi, they each exchanged a look, both questioning the initial atmosphere of the bar. The place itself wasn’t much to look at from the outside: a red neon sign in the shape of a rooster marking the entrance. Its first impression was that it was a shoddy-looking dive bar.

“Seb, Blaine!” A familiar voice hollered from a little ways down and the two turned to greet Hunter, who by the way he was sauntering down the street, already seemed tipsy. A man was following closely behind, almost as if he was ready to reel Hunter in if he got out of control. When the two approached, the Warbler introduced his friend. “This is Hal; he’s my friend from the Air Force,” Hunter pointed to the man next to him who seemed slightly older, probably in his early thirties. “Hal, these are Blaine and ‘Bastian, they’re ‘Bwarblers’.” Hunter was already slurring his words.

“We went to highschool with him.” Sebastian clarified with an amused chuckle as he extended his hand out to shake Hal’s, “And I’m Sebastian. I take it this isn’t your first bar of the night?”

Hunter motioned for his friends to follow as he made way for the entrance, volunteering to pay the cover charge. “We hit up The Boiler Room before we came here; figured you two could only handle one place before bailing for the night.” The four of them entered the bar and were immediately met with an unusual and unpleasant stench-- sweat mixed with alcohol mixed with sewage-- all of which was very lightly masked by the aroma of burning incense. It was truly a dive. The bar was filled with gays of every shape and size and color, some dancing to the booming overhead music that played on the speakers and others drinking by the bar or chatting. “C’mon, I’m paying for the first round!”

Blaine Anderson:

Every fiber in Blaine’s short being was rejecting everything that was about to happen in the night ahead of them. He knew that he was the last person who had the right to have any sort of opinion on Sebastian and Hunter’s relationship considering everything he put Sebastian through, but it still bothered him right down to his very core. The thought of Hunter being anywhere near Sebastian-- especially intimately-- was like nails on a chalk board. It made even his teeth hurt. He took longer than usual to get ready on that night, the rejection physically slowing him down. Blaine had never cared to ever see Hunter again before he knew that he and Sebastian had a history and now that he knew, he definitely didn’t want to.

Blaine stayed quiet for most of the ride, tugging at his dark blue button up, as they pulled up in front of the building. “The Cock?” He had asked Sebastian when the taller told them where they would be meeting Hunter and his friend. “Ugh, disgusting.” He had muttered under his breath as he got ready for the night. He gave his best arguments on why they should not go but he began to feel bad when Sebastian kept trying to reason with him. Blaine finally told himself he would try his best not to be a downer and to give Hunter a chance even if he was feeling salty.

He took a deep breath, glancing at Sebastian before getting out of the cab. He let out a sigh, almost thinking about paying the cabbie just to stay there so he could escape at any moment, making himself laugh because he didn’t need a cab to escape; he could literally fly home if needed. When Blaine got out of the cab, he smoothed out his shirt, and looked up at the shady bar’s neon sign, praying the night would go by fast when he heard Hunter’s voice calling out. Hearing him call Sebastian ‘Bastian really just went all through him, causing flashing of red to run past his eyes. Growling under his breath, he squeezed Sebastian’s hand before rolling his eyes. He put on his fake-polite face, smiling at Hunter and his friend. “Hunter, it’s so nice to see you again.” He looked to Hal, shaking his hand. “Hi, I’m Blaine.” The shorter introduced himself before slipping his arm around Sebastian’s, making the move to subtly and publicly claim that whatever Hunter thought might happen that night wasn’t going to happen.

When they stepped into the club, a deep wrinkle settled in Blaine’s forehead and he frowned. It was definitely just as gross as he had expected; it wasn’t his scene at all. He swallowed his disgust and let his hand slide down to Sebastian’s, lacing their fingers together as they walked to the bar, ordering a shot of the strongest Whiskey they had. He downed it and ordered himself another before the alcohol had even finished burning down his throat. It was going to be a long night and he needed the help. He glanced up at Sebastian before looking at Hunter, narrowing his eyes at the other man. “Mm, so, Hunter, we were so surprised to hear from you.” He crinkled his nose in a condescending manner. If someone didn’t know Blaine, they wouldn’t know that he wasn’t genuinely happy to see Hunter; he was decent at covering up his disdain for the other. “What brings you to town, anyway? Surely they’re missing you wherever it was you were before.” He said before taking his other shot.

Sebastian Smythe:

Sebastian opted for just a beer, thinking that it would be better to stay on high alert around Hunter and Blaine even though a shot sounded very tempting. The night had barely begun and he could tell Blaine had already had enough. While he agreed with Blaine’s comment that the bar was disgusting, he still wanted to give his old friend the benefit of the doubt. Hunter was one of the few Warblers that still spoke with him and accepted him after everything had happened in his junior year and when it felt like he had no one, Hunter had been there. Though the pilot might not have been the best person or influence in Sebastian’s life, he had been thankful for what he had when he didn’t have Blaine.

Hunter had already downed two shots and was working on a mixed drink when he shouted over the music to answer Blaine’s question, “I always make a pit stop in New York before heading home. Heck, last time I didn’t even visit home before I had to be back on base.” He playfully nudged Sebastian with a raunchy laugh which caused Sebastian to shrink back and chuckle awkwardly. “Yeah, when Seb told me you two were ‘together’,” Hunter motioned with air-quotes, “I was surprised because he’s always been hung up on you-- Never thought you’d ever actually get together.”

The man’s last comment made Sebastian smile, looking at Blaine fondly. “Yeah, I really lucked out. It’s like I got a second chance at the lottery and won.” Sebastian’s sentiment received mixed reactions: a polite smile from Hal while Hunter scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, okay, whatever-- Let’s just hope this time sticks or else you’ll turn into a useless mess all over again.” Hunter replied, downing the rest of his drink before he turned to Blaine. “So what happened? Kurt dumped you or did you finally wise up and realize my boy Seb is better-- even if he is my sloppy seconds.”

It seemed Hal was about to interject, realizing that Hunter was far too drunk to operate his verbal filter but Sebastian was the one to speak up. “I’m not ‘your boy’ anymore, Hunter,” Sebastian shot back darkly, his hands balling into fists at either side of him. “I know you’ve got a knack for talking out of your ass but maybe you should watch your mouth.”

Hunter all-out laughed, amused that he had managed to rile Sebastian up. He turned to Blaine, waiting to hear what he had to say. “You trained Seb to speak for you-- Color me surprised!” He ordered another drink and Hal stepped in to pull him back, quietly telling him he was getting out of hand and should probably stop drinking.

Blaine Anderson:

Blaine rolled his eyes yet again when Hunter’s mouth moved with a bunch of condescending words to match his own. It was hypocritical to be annoyed but he was getting more and more irritated the longer they stood there with Hunter and his friend. He felt dirty when Hunter laughed suggestively about whatever he and Sebastian had done the last time he was in New York, as if anyone at all cared. Even though he did a little. He cared enough to be bothered by it.

His fists tightened as he listened to the exchange between Sebastian and Hunter, having had enough he finally stepped in to speak up himself, moving to stand next to Sebastian, a little in front of him even, scowling at Hunter. “Sebastian doesn’t speak for me.” He spat, his blood boiling underneath his skin and mixing with the alcohol, making his entire body hot. “I finally had enough of Kurt’s issues, not that it’s any of your business. Sebastian and I are trying to put the past behind us. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be going so well.” His voice was dripping with implication. He slipped his arm around Sebastian’s waist to lean into him, claiming his spot once again.

He tilted his head, the sass oozing from him as his heart pounded in his ears with anger. “And it’s rude to call him your sloppy seconds when the only sloppy one here is you. Is it because you’re sad you weren’t good enough to stick around because he wanted me instead? Aw.” He fake pouted. Normally Blaine wouldn’t be so in-your-face confrontational, he would’ve just stuck to the sass, but the whiskey made it worse.

Sebastian Smythe:

When Blaine spoke, Hunter’s blood boiled and it was visible by the expression on his face. Nobody ever talked this way to him and got away with it. “Joke’s on you, Blaine-- I wasn’t ever interested in staying. Seb was good for one thing and one thing only: Taking my dick when you weren’t up to the task.” The insults had already gone too far and the last one was the last straw. Sebastian had tried to give the man the benefit of the doubt but he could see Hunter would not let the past remain in the past.

“Hunter,” Sebastian warned. He straightened his posture and gave Hunter a challenging look, knowing that both he and Blaine were better together and combined they were more than enough to dismantle Hunter’s crude words. He wanted to put Hunter in his place, “I came out to see you because we’re supposed to be friends. But the way you’re being now? You’re pathetic.”

Even Hal had to stifle a laugh after Blaine and Sebastian’s little spiel, which caused Hunter to whip his head around and scowl at the older man. Gritting his teeth, anger bubbled up inside of Hunter but he didn’t want to waste anymore words on either of the two. What he wanted was Sebastian and not getting what he wanted pissed him off a little bit. With a wry chuckle as he contemplated how to react, he simply poured his drink down the front of Blaine’s dress shirt. The colorful mixed drink spilled all the way down to Blaine’s chinos, effectively ruining his outfit. “Whoops!” Hunter said with a heavily sarcastic tone. “This must bring back memories for you, hm, Seb? I guess Blaine should count himself lucky it wasn’t a slushie to the face.” Hunter chuckled.

“Seriously?!” Sebastian exclaimed, looking at Blaine’s dirtied outfit in disbelief. He couldn’t believe how petty and childish Hunter was behaving. Hal pulled his friend back and reprimanded him, taking the glass from him. While he tried to wave the bartender down to at least get Blaine some napkins or a towel, Sebastian shoved his now ex-friend back, who just threw his hands up in surrender as if he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“It was just an accident!” Hunter lied. “Maybe you ought to clean yourself up, Blaine. You’re looking a little… sloppy.”

Sebastian growled and turned to Blaine, both very clearly distraught and upset. “Are you alright?” He asked, unsure of what else he could possibly ask. When Hal finally waved the bartender down, Sebastian took the offered washcloth and handed it off to Blaine.

Blaine Anderson:

Blaine appreciated the way Sebastian continued to step in even though part of his anger was reserved just for Sebastian. He was not too happy that Sebastian had brought him out and put him in such a situation. They could have been out just the two of them or at home or doing literally anything else. But no-- Sebastian just had to see his ex-fuck buddy so they could have “fun”. He frowned as Hunter spoke, watching him through narrowed eyes. Before he knew it, his front half was cold and covered in whatever alcohol the other had been drinking. His jaw fell slack and he had to physically stop himself from throwing a punch right into his jaw. A hard scoff fell from Blaine’s mouth and he balled his fists tighter, his knuckles turning white. “Oh, you are so--” He was about to threaten Hunter but he bit his tongue, shaking his head, his jaw setting.

The shorter shook his head, pulling away from Sebastian when he addressed him, grabbing the rag from him. “It’s fine, I’m fine.” He spit his words out angrily, looking at Sebastian and then at Hunter. “I’ll be back.” Blaine then took off towards the bathroom, pushing the door open. He was so fuming mad that he didn’t even care to notice how the bathroom was even more disgusting as the rest of the place if that were even possible. Going to the mirror, he got the wash rag wet again, wiping at his shirt and his pants, grumbling under his breath as he cleaned himself up. He was so done with their little outing with Hunter and Blaine never wanted to see him again.

After Blaine had done the best he could to clean up most of the drink on his clothes, he was still all wet and smelled of alcohol. He washed out the rag so he could return it to the bartender, washing his hands and then splashing some cold water on his face. Blaine took a few deep breaths to calm himself down- it didn’t help. He was still mad. With a heavy breath and a growl to himself, he left the bathroom.

Sebastian Smythe:

Sebastian deflated when Blaine-- who was obviously angry at him, at Hunter, and at the overall situation-- stormed off in the direction of the restroom. He was now regretting ever talking Blaine into going out tonight and knew he would be paying for it later. For now he needed to address Hunter. The man had just spoiled the mood and he barely seemed to care at all as he ordered himself another drink.

“Hunt, man, you’ve done enough tonight and I think we should get you back to your hotel room.” Hal tried to coax his friend into leaving, to no avail. Hunter just scoffed and left for the back of the club, already fed up with everyone for the night.

Sebastian followed after him, completely baffled at the man’s behavior and demanded answers. “What is your problem?! Did you invite me out just to insult me and Blaine? To peacock around and brag about the fact that we’ve slept together before?” He shoved Hunter again, this time from behind. It caused Hunter to spin around and he grabbed at Sebastian’s wrist, holding it tightly as he glared at the other man.

“You’re my fucking problem, Smythe. I take you in after that guy dumps your ass and this is how you repay me? You make a fucking fool outta me in front of him and my friend?” Hunter stepped closer to Sebastian, pushing him back and pinning him against the wall. Between the music and the sea of bodies dancing and mingling in the club, no one paid attention to either of them. In a sleazy bar such as this, it might’ve even seemed like the two were about to make out. With a sinister laugh, Hunter pressed his lips against Sebastian’s neck.

Sebastian grimaced, smelling the strong stench of alcohol coming off of Hunter’s breath. “S-stop, you’re drunk,” Sebastian tried to push the other off of him but he didn’t want to use his powers. Doing so would not only blow his cover but he might accidentally hurt Hunter more than he deserved.

Hunter nibbled at Sebastian’s ear, causing the other to attempt squirming away. The bulkier man used his free hand to tug at Sebastian’s collar, getting dangerously close to wrapping his fingers around his neck. Hunter was bigger and stronger than Sebastian last remembered-- he was stronger than when Hunter was shot up with steroids, during high school. “Does this remind you of that night..? Remember how I fucked you when you cr--” Before Hunter could finish his sentence, Sebastian shoved him back hard enough to send him staggering back into some chairs and tables. Sebastian looked unsettled and disheveled, his chest heaving with angry breaths and a dangerous look in his eye. Just as he was about to open his mouth to curse Hunter out, he caught Blaine in his peripheral vision. Even if Blaine hadn’t heard what Hunter had said, Sebastian was certain he’d at least seen Hunter attempting to cop a feel.

Blaine Anderson:

Blaine had first glanced at the bar, thinking it odd that Sebastian wasn’t there, feeling an uncomfortable twisting in his stomach. He returned the rag to the bartender and thanked him for his kindness while also apologizing for Hunter’s behavior. He gave him a tip for the trouble before turning around, scanning the bar for Sebastian. Thanks to his heightened senses, he immediately found the other in the back of the bar. His fists tightened so hard that his knuckles turned white again at the sight of Hunter pinning Sebastian to the wall. He moved abnormally fast when he saw Sebastian shove the bigger man away, thankfully everyone in the club was otherwise preoccupied with dancing or making out to even notice anything going on in the back.

As fast as he could get there, he was between the two. “Hey!” His voice was a low growl and he put his hands on Hunter’s chest. “Back off!” Blaine shoved him backwards a little, taking a step towards him, shaking his head. “I don’t know who you think you are but you have crossed the line-- you have gone so far over the line. And you need to take a step back.” He warned Hunter but it seemed the taller man wasn’t planning on backing down any.

“Oh, Blainey, it’s adorable how you stand up for Seb.” Hunter stepped closer to Blaine, attempting to intimidate the shorter with his height difference. Had Blaine not been practically red with rage, he would have been amused considering the things he had gone up against in his days as Nightbird. Hunter was nothing. Nothing.

Hunter’s eyes flickered to Sebastian, smirking a little. “I was just reminding my boy Sebastian why he got in my bed in the first place.” He winked, too busy being a cocky prick to notice Blaine’s fist coming right for his face. It was surprising that the contact to Hunter’s face didn’t knock him out completely considering Blaine barely held back.

“I said back off.” He said, looking down at Hunter after he had taken his new place on the dirty floor. Blaine looked back at Sebastian, raising his eyebrows. “I’m leaving. Are you coming?” He was so far beyond done that he was one moment away from storming out with or without Sebastian but he wanted to give him the chance to come with him even though he was furious.

Sebastian Smythe:

Sebastian was quiet as he watched Blaine burst with anger, yelling at Hunter before throwing a vicious right hook. Though he knew Blaine was somewhat athletic and even boxed, seeing the man actually being violent was surprising even for Sebastian. Blaine hadn’t even flinched after he’d hit Hunter-- as if the anger he was experiencing somehow overrode any type of pain he felt from punching the man. Sebastian gasped when Hunter hit the floor hard, causing a slight commotion to the people in their immediate area.

When Blaine announced he was leaving, Sebastian only glanced around once, noticing Hal was already making his way over to help his friend while a bouncer was walking their way-- probably to kick them out. “Yeah, let’s get the fuck out of here.” Without hesitation, Sebastian followed after Blaine, more than ready to leave the dive. He didn’t care what Hunter had to say to him next nor did he want to stick around to hear it. Hot on Blaine’s tail, the both of them stepped outside and the city air was refreshing compared the poorly ventilated bar. “Blaine,” he called out as they attempted to flag a cab down. “I didn’t-- I didn’t mean for--” He was at a loss for words, realizing he had royally fucked up by bringing them down here for this. He noticed Blaine’s set jaw and furrowed brow; the man was legitimately angry and Sebastian had never seen him this way before.

Sebastian thought about why he had even agreed to come out tonight. He had always thought he owed Hunter for being there for him after Blaine had left but did he really? Hunter had always been manipulative and degrading; Sebastian didn’t think he had any redeeming qualities but perhaps he’d been blind to that before now. Maybe people like Hunter Clarington didn’t deserve second chances. He could still feel the hand that had almost wrapped around his neck, reminding him of a long-forgotten, regret-filled night. Memories that Sebastian had spent time pretending didn’t exist were made real again and he swallowed them back down. He wasn’t about to reopen that can of worms.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized, knowing he couldn’t offer any good excuse for the way things turned out tonight. “He doesn’t mean anything to me and I don’t want anything to do with him anymore-- especially after that. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner.” By giving Hunter the second chance Sebastian thought he deserved, he’d nearly blew his second chance with Blaine.

Blaine Anderson:

Blaine nodded when Sebastian agreed to leaving, turning and storming out of the bar. The New York air hitting his face only made him feel a little better. He only walked a few feet out of the bar before turning around to throw his hand up a cab, a couple of non-vacant ones passing by. He let his arm back down with a sigh as Sebastian spoke. He was so upset over the events of the night. He was so upset that he agreed to come out and he was even upset that Sebastian had even asked him to go out with Hunter. “What was this, huh? Was...was this some way for you to get back at me for what I did in high school? Are-are we even now?” Blaine didn’t really know what he was saying, his feelings were doing all of the talking without any sort of rationalization filter.

Even though he had been thinking it for the past few minutes, he knew better than to think Sebastian would be so vindictive towards him. He just couldn’t see through how furious he was with Hunter. “You know him and how he is--” Blaine shook his head, closing his eyes and taking a breath. “I hate that guy so much. I never, ever, want to see him again.” Once he opened his eyes again he looked at Sebastian. “I was in the same building with you and he was hitting on you-- he was practically bragging about the fact that you had sex with him. Like, god, I know that I messed up in high school and I left you but do I really need to be reminded that you’ve had sex with him? It’s not like I go around rubbing your face in the fact that Kurt and I have had sex.”

Another good point to make in Blaine’s defense was the fact that the alcohol running through his bloodstream was still going strong and was disintegrating his filter even further. “Like, I don’t want to be that guy that asks you to not see your supposed ‘best friend’ anymore but if this is what it will be like every time...I don’t--” He shook his head once more, growling softly, still feeling frustrated. “Just forget it. It’s fine.” Blaine turned toward the street again, seeing a vacant cab across the way. He put his fingers in his mouth and let out a piercing whistle that echoed against the buildings around them and a cab was stopped in front of them in a moment. He opened the door and looked at Sebastian, looking almost as if he were a bit defeated. “Let’s just go home, please?”

Sebastian Smythe:

When Blaine accused Sebastian of plotting the evening as some sort of twisted revenge for the way things had gone over between them in high school, Sebastian’s apologetic look was replaced by one of bewilderment and outrage. It wasn’t like he was having a good time putting himself and Blaine through this miserable evening. “W-We’re not ‘even’-- What, you think I wanted this to happen?” He bit back, clearly defensive. “I didn’t exactly have a gay old time with that asshole reminding me of that bullshit or trying to feel me up!” It was true that he was hoping Hunter could’ve been polite enough to let the past be the past with the two of them only friends and nothing more now that Blaine was part of Sebastian’s life. Now very obviously, Sebastian had set his expectations way too high.

As the cab stopped in front of them, he begrudgingly followed Blaine inside. He didn’t exactly want someone else listening in on his private conversation. The cab driver greeted them cheerfully but Sebastian couldn’t even bother pretending to be polite. “Just because you had sex with Kurt after you and I were finished last time doesn’t mean I’ve been hung up on this fact after all these years and decided to what-- make you feel as miserable as I felt? Contrary to popular belief that I’m a total asshole, I’m not.”

Sebastian knew that Blaine was angry and probably even drunk but to assume that he had somehow set all this up to deliver a major guilt-trip for Blaine-- it hurt him. He’d thought that Blaine saw him differently now and not the same asshole like how he was back in high school. Thinking of the words Hunter had said in the bar had really made Sebastian’s blood boil. The memories that were dredged up gave him an uncomfortable feeling that he immediately squashed down, yet again. “Look, I didn’t want to remember the fact that he and I--” he shook his head, “... It’s one of my biggest regrets. I didn’t think I’d have to think about it, much less talk about it.” Sebastian rolled his eyes and crossed his hands over his chest. “Trust me, I don’t ever want to see him or talk to him ever again either. I just want to forget about tonight and pretend like it never happened.”

Blaine Anderson:

Blaine sighed heavily after he gave the cab driver a courteously polite smile and the address to their home, looking at Sebastian with a frown. "You are the one who made us come out tonight knowing I wanted nothing to do with seeing him and knowing how he is- " He stopped his sentence abruptly, leaning forward to put his head in his hands. He felt as if the world around him was spinning abnormally fast and his head was starting to throb as if his hangover was already starting to settle in though he was still drunk.

Closing his eyes tightly, he shook his head. "No, no, no, I know. I know." He felt slightly bad for saying the things he had just said, he knew that Sebastian wasn't so horrible that he would plan some awful night out to hurt him-- to hurt both of them. "I know you wouldn't do that. You aren't an asshole. I know. I'm just..." Blaine huffed, his voice frustrated. "I'm just so angry. I can't believe that guy."

Lifting his head, he looked to Sebastian. "Like, I knew he was awful but I didn't know he was awful, you know?" Blaine asked, knowing full well what he meant, only hoping Sebastian could follow as he didn't know any other way to explain it. "I'm so mad that I literally punched him in the face-- I've never punched anyone in the face before." Blaine chuckled out of amazement, because that was the truth. Outside of when he was Nightbird, Blaine had never touched anyone out of anger before. "Seeing him with you like that just...it just happened." His forehead wrinkled.

As the cab driver got closer to their building, Blaine began to feel worse when Sebastian stated that he regretted what happened with Hunter, even though it confused him because he could have sworn that Seb had mentioned it happening more than once-- he had no room to question, however. Considering he had married his regret.

Sebastian Smythe:

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Sebastian let out a heavy sigh as he was wholly exasperated with the whole evening. At least he and Blaine were now on the same page when it came to how they felt about Hunter. It was unfortunate that Sebastian couldn’t come to that conclusion a night sooner.

“I can’t believe him either,” Sebastian agreed with the other, his expectations of Hunter completely shattered. “I just-- I don’t know, I thought it was the right thing to do was to give him a second chance. You know, the same way you and the other guys gave me a second chance after everything I did back then.” He knew Blaine would know exactly what he was talking about-- blackmailing and harassing the members of the McKinley Glee Club, helping Hunter to steal their coveted Nationals trophy, and even the slushie incident-- Sebastian’s track record was very much stained and it was difficult for him to pretend that those things didn’t happen. Yet somehow, he managed to keep his reputation and position as a Dalton Academy Warbler until the day he graduated. He had received a second chance and was redeemed. It seemed that Sebastian’s idea to pay it forward and extend Hunter that same redemption went punished.

Replaying the evening’s events in his head over, he was truly upset by the way Hunter acted and how it made Sebastian uncomfortable in his own skin. Although it would’ve been gratifying for Sebastian to have struck the man himself, he was amused that Blaine had stepped in. It was completely out-of-character-- at least to Sebastian’s knowledge of Blaine-- and seeing it happen was exhilarating. “For what it’s worth,” he began after letting out a slight amused huff, “you punching Hunter was really hot. I never knew you had anything like that inside of you.” Sebastian knew the other man had taken up boxing to defend himself after the altercation at his Sadie Hawkins Dance, but Blaine was the type to only resort to violence where it was absolutely necessary. Not to potentially start a fistfight in a bar. “I mean, when you punched him he went down. I’m surprised you didn’t break your hand against his fat face.”

The taxi pulled up in front of the boys’ condominium and Sebastian tipped the driver well, apologizing for the odor coming from Blaine’s clothes. As soon as they were home, Sebastian would usher Blaine to the bathroom and take a much-needed shower. Blaine didn’t look good and he knew it would be best to get the other man straight to bed after his shower. “I really am sorry about everything that happened tonight,” he apologized again, knowing that although he had already apologized, it wouldn’t hurt to do so again.

Blaine Anderson:

Blaine chuckled softly when Sebastian admitting to thinking it was attractive when Blaine punched Hunter square in the face, not being able to help the tiny smile that pulled at his lips. “Yeah, well, even though I prefer not to hit people out of anger, he still deserved it. He’s disgusting. And if I ever see him again-- I might just do it again.” He said with a bite to his tone as the cab stopped. He extended his own apologies to the cab driver before getting out. Blaine hadn’t really thought it to be unusual that his hand didn’t hurt too much from hitting Hunter’s hard jaw, chuckling softly. He probably should’ve at least pretended, but it was already too late. “Y-yeah. Adrenaline, I guess. You know how crazy that stuff is-- then mix it with multiple shots of alcohol.”

When they were upstairs and inside their home, Blaine kicked off his shoes before shuffling towards the bathroom with Sebastian’s help, his head was pounding even harder than when he was in the cab. The shorter’s forehead wrinkled and he whined. “I hate today.” He huffed when they made it to the bathroom, tugging at his shirt to pull it over his head. He was still slightly drunk from before considering it really hadn’t been terribly long since he took those shots of whiskey. Blaine tossed his shirt to the bathroom floor, turning to Sebastian, a pout settled on his face as he looked up at the taller. “I’m sorry I said those things to you…” He sighed, rubbing his face before he rubbed his head. “I wish I could explain how I felt better than what I said. It was too harsh and I...I do know you better than that regardless of what I felt.” Blaine furrowed his brow, a little confused by his own words.

He felt guilty for making Sebastian feel bad, he wished his had the words to explain that he felt like Sebastian should have known better than to even suggest going out with someone he had slept with before. But he also understood feeling the need to give someone a second, or even a third chance. “I mean, I totally get the wanting to give people multiple chances thing, trust me.” Blaine nodded, chewing on the inside of his cheek before shrugging. “I just wish we hadn’t gone.” He thought back over the night for a moment, shaking his head with his brow still slightly furrowed. “I...I really didn’t like the way you acted around him.” Blaine admitted, bending to pull off his socks, stumbling a little before grasping the counter to balance himself. “What was that about anyway? Who was that guy you were being?” He asked with a curious expression.

Sebastian Smythe:

When Blaine mentioned possibly hitting Hunter if he ever saw him again, it caused Sebastian to chuckle and nod in agreement. “Please, be my guest. Frankly, he deserved a little more than a sock to the face.” He kept close to Blaine and led him into their apartment, now very aware that the whiskey had impaired the other’s balance. If alcohol had anything to do with Blaine not feeling the pain in his knuckled from the impact, he would definitely be feeling it in the morning. As Blaine tried to put his emotions into words, Sebastian squinted his eyes and cocked his head to the side in confusion before cracking a slight smile. “It’s okay, Blaine. You don’t have to apologize and you didn’t do anything wrong tonight. You were right-- we shouldn’t have gone tonight. I’d take it back if I could.”

Sebastian leaped forward to get ahold of Blaine, steadying him as he continued to undress. “H-hey, look out,” he warned as he helped Blaine to undress, keeping close so the other wouldn’t just topple over. Looking away for a moment, he thought about the way he acted in front of Hunter. He didn’t think that he seemed off in front of him but Blaine knew him better than anyone else. It was plausible that he noticed something was wrong. “I wasn’t acting any differently than usual,” Sebastian countered, completely in denial. “Hunter was an asshole tonight and I was expecting him to y’know… not be an asshole.” Sebastian shrugged and continued to play dumb, hoping that Blaine was maybe too drunk and would leave the topic be. “He just-- He threw me off my game-- Especially because I’m a different person than I was when I was… with him. You can understand that, right?”

After helping Blaine to take off the rest of his clothes, he started the water and ushered the other in once the temperature was just right. He picked up Blaine’s soiled clothes and threw it into the washer. He re-entered the bathroom with a glass of water and set it down on the counter as Blaine continued to shower, taking a good, hard look at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Maybe he ought to just come clean about everything but why bother? If he would never see or hear from Hunter ever again then he could just leave it all in the past to be forgotten.

Blaine Anderson:

Blaine narrowed his eyes at Sebastian’s answer, looking at him with skepticism. He knew Sebastian really well-- better than anyone-- and he knew it had been a while but it hadn’t been so long that he couldn’t read the taller’s body language. He knew something was up and he found it odd that Sebastian seemed so weird around Hunter and that he was beginning to act the same way even though they were just talking about it. “Mm.” He made an unsatisfied noise, one to let the other know that he didn’t buy it and most likely would bring it up again at a later time when his head wasn’t pounding.

Taking a deep breath, Blaine closed his eyes as he leaned in to let the warm water wash over him. He placed his hands flat against the shower wall, letting his head hang as the water hit his neck and ran down his back, washing the disgusting smell of that bar and the alcohol off of him. Running the events of the night through his mind again, part of him wondered what went on between Sebastian and Hunter when he’d left. He couldn’t quite put his finger on exactly what was wrong with Sebastian when they were at the bar or if that happened every time that he was around Hunter, but he knew something was off. “So, are we both supposed to pretend like I believe you when you say you weren’t acting weird around Hunter?” Blaine asked as he turned around to wash his hair. He was starting to sober up a bit as he showered.

Blaine also thought it was odd that Sebastian would lie to him, he never once felt like the taller ever lied to him and he wondered why this specific subject was different. He figured it was for a good reason but it made him feel uncomfortable that there was something Sebastian didn’t feel he could tell Blaine. By the time he was finished with his shower, he was even closer to being sober. Turning off the water, he reached for a towel to wrap around his waist before stepping out of the shower. His honey eyes traveling over to Sebastian as the other looked at himself in the mirror, it was clear to Blaine that he was troubled.

Blaine’s forehead wrinkled and he let out a soft sigh as he walked over to the taller. “Hey,” His voice was soft as he slipped his arms around Sebastian from behind, hugging him despite being wet. “You know you can trust me with everything. You can always tell me anything.”

Sebastian Smythe:

Sebastian had been deep in thought, images of the way Hunter grabbed him and made him feel uncomfortable, stirring up unwanted feelings inside of him. He felt a lump in his throat as he grasped the bathroom sink, shaking his head at the memory. Tonight made him remember the times he had spent with Hunter and how low he had allowed himself to sink-- how little he thought of himself to allow himself to be with Hunter intimately. It wasn’t that he wanted to keep things from his best friend but that it was a memory he preferred not to talk about. It was something he preferred to forget completely if he could help it.

Blaine being able to see right through him pressured Sebastian to lie so the topic could be put to rest. He knew it was better to tell the truth, even if partial. “Yes, I was acting weird. He reminded me of who I used to be and it sucked. I was a bad person and seeing him being awful to the both of us tonight just reminded me that I used to be a sleaze, just like him.” When Blaine stepped out of the shower and wrapped his arms around him, Sebastian hung his head low and closed his eyes, taking a deep and even breath. “Seeing him act like that made me think maybe that’s what I would’ve been like had I not taken that second chance when it was offered to me-- Had I not gone straight after everything and stopped acting like a jerk.”

Opening his eyes, Sebastian turned around to look at his friend. “I just want to forget about it-- about him.” He placed his hands gently on Blaine’s shoulders and tried his best to smile but it couldn’t quite reach him how he’d wanted. “I do trust you. You’re all that matters to me so let’s just forget about tonight, okay?” He hoped that Blaine would understand and leave it be. He pressed a kiss to the top of his forehead before pulling him in for a hug. Though they weren’t out for very long nor very late, Sebastian felt drained and proposed going to bed, but not before reaching into the medicine cabinet and offering Blaine a couple Advil and the glass of water. He hoped that a little sleep and the comfort of being close to Blaine might help him to forget everything that had to do with one Hunter Clarington.

Blaine Anderson:

It made Blaine sad to hear Sebastian compare himself to Hunter, to hear him call himself a sleaze. It saddened him when Sebastian spoke of himself the way all of those people who never even knew him used to talk about him. He didn’t like that Sebastian thought so low of himself and he didn’t like that Hunter reminded him of those feelings. It was angering to know Sebastian-- the real Sebastian-- and hear all of the horrible things that were said and thought about him. Blaine wasn’t stupid, he knew that Sebastian wasn’t perfect. He knew that Sebastian had said and done things that were less than admirable. But no one ever took the time to get past all of that to find out who he was behind that wall of tough he put up. Blaine had been lucky and that wall was already starting to come down before he even started to break it himself; it was offered to him the moment they met and once he got past it, he found the guy he knew Sebastian really was.

He wished more people knew of that Sebastian - though, he was grateful they didn’t because they would just fall in love with him too and he couldn’t have that. In love. The thought took him back a little bit, even though he knew that he was in love with Sebastian, he never allowed himself to admit it or think it. Blaine had been in love with Sebastian ever since that day he walked in on the Warblers singing Uptown Girl. So many different times throughout their entire relationship he had felt it, but he always swallowed it. Even when they were unofficially together he never let himself get to that point, and to finally be in a place where he could let himself begin to feel those things felt weird and slightly freeing. Now wasn’t really the time to get that deep into his feelings yet, though.

Blaine closed his eyes and hugged Sebastian from behind before the taller turned around. He looked up at him as he placed his hands on Sebastian’s chest, sighing softly. He didn’t buy that that was all Sebastian was bothered by; he could feel it in the air. But he also knew that Sebastian wasn’t one to keep secrets from Blaine so he knew he must have had a good reason. It bothered him down to his core that he didn’t know what was bothering Sebastian, especially knowing that it had to do with that horrible Hunter. Blaine wrapped his arms around Sebastian to hug him close, nodding his head gently. “Okay, it’s okay.” He said softly, giving the taller a soft smile before pressing his lips against his chin, agreeing to Sebastian’s proposal of going to bed and taking the Advil. “C’mon, let’s just get changed and get in bed.”

Sebastian Smythe:

Having Blaine relent on the topic of Hunter and what might’ve happened all those years ago gave Sebastian enough relief that he didn’t feel that god-awful lump in his throat anymore. He was thankful Blaine wasn’t pushing the subject anymore and he hoped he wouldn’t have to talk about it ever again. Sebastian appreciated the fact that Blaine was so thoughtful when it came to him. He liked that he was one of Blaine’s priorities now-- that even though it was important for them to not keep secrets, he wouldn’t pry at something Sebastian wasn’t ready to talk about yet. He smiled softly as the other man pressed a gentle kiss to his chin, humming contentedly.

It didn’t take either of them very long to get ready for bed and soon enough the two of them were cuddled together under the covers. Sebastian was still plagued by the night’s events and thoughts of Hunter, it showing through in his tense body language, but he was able to relax slightly in Blaine’s hold. Blaine was sweet and caring and he could feel that through the way Blaine spoke to him and touched him. With Blaine lying in bed next to him Sebastian was able to wipe the memories of Hunter and replace them with memories of Blaine.

He remembered the nights they spent together during their “non-relationship” where they would just laze on the bed together and hold each other and talk. Even if it was never a real relationship, it felt very real to Sebastian and it was a feeling he cherished dearly. Because he had been with Blaine and known what it was like to be in love with him, he knew that he and Hunter never even came close to that. He knew that he was safe whenever he was with Blaine and there wasn’t ever a reason to be on edge around him. Slowly but surely, Sebastian was getting used to the feeling of being safe and letting his guard down to believe that this time with Blaine was the real deal. Blaine was what mattered and he would do whatever he could to make sure the man felt the same way.

#seblaine #seblaine rp #blaine anderson rp #sebastian smythe rp #paras #006

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ozkamal · 8 years ago

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"But the problem with me was that as soon as I started thinking about getting it together, I got this mad craving desire to fuck it up." Rebecca Godfrey“I am an over-thinker and an over-feeler. Over-lover. Over- needer. I would flood you. I would drown your respectable standoffishness. I don’t get over things, but I get under them well. I’d love you and you’d soak me through. You couldn’t handle me even if you wanted to.” Rebeka Anne, some people think I’m too much "I just want to pour my soul out onto someone and not have to worry about the mess I've made" "Sometimes I’m certain those who are happy know one thing more than us… or one thing less." - Anne Michaels “The Weight of Oranges” “I have this strange feeling that I’m not myself anymore. It’s hard to put into words, but I guess it’s like I was fast asleep, and someone came, disassembled me, and hurriedly put me back together again. That sort of feeling.” Haruki Murakami “Find something that you’re passionate about, devote your time and energy to it. But make sure what you’re passionate about is not a person, but a thing.”“I don’t really want to become normal, average, standard. I want merely to gain in strength, in the courage to live out my life more fully, enjoy more, experience more. I want to develop even more original and more unconventional traits.” Anaïs Nin“You have to accept that some people are not made for deep conversations, or for holding you together when you’re about to fall apart, or for keeping you from unzipping your skin, or for talking you out of suicide, or to love you through the worst moments of your life. Some people are made for shallow exchanges, and ridiculous banter, and nothing more. And that’s okay. That doesn’t make them horrible people because they simply aren’t able to handle a storm like you. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you won’t divulge all the gritty details of your horror show. It makes you smart. You have to accept that there will be people that cannot give you what you need. It doesn’t mean they are not worth keeping in your life. You just have to figure out who these ones are before you’re disappointed. And you have to keep them at arm’s length. You cannot expect everyone in your life to understand, to be nonjudgmental, to get it. But that’s okay, because not everyone was made to impart wisdom, or wax-poetic, or speak on politics and the depravity of society, or discuss how crucial it is that the stigma of mental illness be abolished. There are times when you have to get away from all that heaviness. You have to. And you will need superficial conversation about Kim Kardashian’s arse, or a debate on the colour of The Dress. You will need those ones. So don’t go round cutting people off and dropping your friends. You need people for all your seasons. You need people or you won’t survive this.” What my therapist told me this morning“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier.” River Phoenix “I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between.” Sylvia Plath “I’m tired" “Sleep” “No you don’t understand” Do you understand?“What is necessary, after all, is only this: solitude, vast inner solitude. To walk inside yourself and meet no one for hours–that is what you must be able to attain.” Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll “Reading is not simply an intellectual pursuit but an emotional and spiritual one. It lights the candle in the hurricane lamp of self; that’s why it survives.” Anna Quindle“It would be that time - late at night - when your ears reach for any sound. When you can see more with your eyes closed than open.” Diary - Chuck Palahniuk“I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.” Player Piano, Kurt Vonnegut “I think I’d like to say only that they should learn to be alone and try to spend as much time as possible by themselves. I think one of the faults of young people today is that they try to come together around events that are noisy, almost aggressive at times. This desire to be together in order to not feel alone is an unfortunate symptom, in my opinion. Every person needs to learn how to spend time with oneself. That doesn’t mean he should be lonely, but that he shouldn’t grow bored with himself because people who grow bored in their own company seem to me in danger, from a self-esteem point of view.” Andrei Tarkovsky “I’m one of those people who believe that words are some of the last forms of magic that exist” Lana Del Rey “She waited for the train to pass. Then she said, “I sometimes think that people’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every once in a while.”” Haruki Murakami, Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman “… we are capable of many things in all directions, of great virtues and great sins. And who in his mind has not probed the black water? Maybe we all have in us a secret pond where evil and ugly things germinate and grow strong. But this culture is fenced, and the swimming brood climbs up only to fall back. Might it not be that in the dark pools of some men the evil grows strong enough to wriggle over the fence and swim free? Would not such a man be our monster, and are we not related to him in our hidden water? It would be absurd if we did not understand both angels and devils, since we invented them.” East of Eden - John Steinbeck “I crave so much more than just a physical connection. I crave words and depth. I crave who you are and where you came from, your desires and fears. I yearn to know every inch of you beyond the surface.”“Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the…man who walks past [you]…at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others…” Timothy Leary http://ift.tt/2l1RShO have very intense conversations with friends, people I really interconnect with. We talk about politics, important things. I like to talk about ideas and get people to be specific.” Jacqueline Bisset “Date someone who is interested in you. I don’t mean someone who thinks you’re cute or funny. I mean someone who wants to know every insignificant detail about you. Someone who wants to read every word you write. Someone who wants hear every note of your favourite song, and watch every scene of your favourite movie. Someone wants to find every scar upon your body, and learn where each one came from. Someone who wants to know your favourite brand of toothpaste, and which quotes resonate deep inside your bones when you hear them. There is a difference between attraction and interest. Find the person who wants to learn every aspect of who you are, and hold onto them.”I stopped explaining myself when I realized, People only understand from their level of perception“She’s never where she is. She’s only inside her head.” White Oleander by Janet Fitch“What I hate is ignorance, smallness of imagination, the eye that sees no farther than its own lashes. All things are possible. Who you are is limited only by who you think you are.” Egyptian Book of the Dead“I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists. One where my heart is full. My body loved. And my soul understood.” Unknown you find a woman with a wild heart do not try to tame her. You must adore her recklessly, the way she is meant to be loved. Do not try to quiet her, for her roars will reach far and wide. She has something important to say. Help her say it. Do not get in her way. She stops for no one. Do not try to change the path she has chosen. Learn also to love the wind and let it change you.” C.B. Wild-Hearted Woman “I am not a puzzle to be solved. I am someone to be experienced- a soul to be tasted” jenn satsun“To be acutely conscious is a disease, a real, honest-to-goodness disease.” Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground "Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul."“Sometimes words come out of me and I don’t know where they come from or why. They’re like falling stars tumbling through the universe; bright, burning things that can’t be stopped.” Glenda Millard, A Small Free Kiss in the Dark “That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.”“My emotional life: dialectic between craving for privacy and need to submerge myself in a passionate relationship to another.” Susan Sontag, from Reborn: Journals & Notebooks “We’re all kind of weird and twisted and drowning.” Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood“I remained to much inside my head and ended up losing my mind.” Edgar Allen Poe “Protect yourself from your own thoughts.” Rumi I try to maintain a healthy dose of daydreaming to remain sane.” Florence Welch “I’m self-sufficient. I spend a lot of time on my own and I shut off quite easily. When I communicate, I communicate 900%, then I shut off, which scares people sometimes.” Björk "Desires, memories, fears, passions form labyrinths in which we lose and find and then lose ourselves again." Bernhard Schlink“I’ve always believed one could live many lives…even if just in our imagination. The world is open to us, and each day is an occasion to reinvent ourselves.” Ralph Lauren"I hunger for intensity. For love, affection, for tangible. For ineffable. For infinity. For discovery. I hunger for knowledge. Life is filled with wanders and wonders. Die knowing something. Die loving something."“I fell in love with books. Some people find beauty in music, some in painting, some in landscape, but I find it in words. By beauty, I mean the feeling you have suddenly glimpsed another world, or looked into a portal that reveals a kind of magic or romance out of which the world has been constructed, a feeling there is something more than the mundane, and a reason for our plodding.” To Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing Up Without a Father, Donald Miller “Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.” Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer“I am a jumble of passions, misgivings, and wants. It seems that I am always in a state of wishing and rarely in a state of contentment.” The Sweet Far Thing, Libba Bray “All profound distraction opens certain doors. You have to allow yourself to be distracted when you are unable to concentrate.” Julio Cortazar“Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your soul. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.” Franz Kafka“Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music— the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.” Henry Miller Maybe that’s enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom…is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go.” Anthony Bourdain “Night is purer than day; it is better for thinking and loving and dreaming. At night everything is more intense, more true. The echo of words that have been spoken during the day takes on a new and deeper meaning.” Elie Wiesel, Dawn “And like the sea, I’m constantly changing from calm to hell.” Dallas Green “Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity.” Christopher Morley“I feel so shut out, I’m always homesick. But when I get home. I find it’s something else I’m longing for.” Autumn Sonata “Without deep conversation, my mind becomes restless. I need passion and intellect, it’s a shame that a person often lacks one or the other.”“I didn’t say I liked it. I said it fascinated me. There is a great difference.” Oscar Wilde, adapted from The Picture of Dorian Gray “I want to talk to everybody as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night”“Loneliness is dangerous. It’s addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don’t wanna deal with people.” Hedonist Poet“I want to be loved and to be left alone.” David Swanger, “My Mother’s Nudes"“I know nothing in the world that has as much power as a word. Sometimes I write one, and I look at it, until it begins to shine.” Emily Dickinson“I am all in a sea of wonders. I doubt; I fear; I think strange things which I dare not confess to my own soul.” Bram Stoker, Dracula“I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me.” Virginia Woolf, The Waves“Not everyone can feel things as deeply as you. Most people, their feelings are … bland, tasteless. They’ll never understand what it’s like to read a poem and feel almost like they’re flying, or to see a bleeding fish and feel grief that shatters their heart…” Juliann Garey, Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See “And never have I felt so deeply at one and, at the same time, so detached from myself, and so present in the world.” Albert Camus“My human capabilities aren’t sufficient enough to help translate what my soul wants to express.” JMC“Perhaps the world’s second worst crime is boredom. The first is being a bore.” Jean Baudrillard “We approach the void…but not to fall into it. We want to become intoxicated with dizziness and the image of the fall is sufficient.” Georges Bataille, Death and Sensuality“If you’re ever lucky enough to find a girl who is a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind, you should hold onto that. Because she’ll be yours at two in the morning and at two in the afternoon the following day. She’ll kiss you where it hurts and until it hurts. And that’s important. Someone who not only knows how to turn you on but also knows how to treat you right is someone worth a little something… and a little more than usual.”“I think if we didn’t contradict ourselves, it would be awfully boring. It would be tedious to be alive. Changing your mind is probably one of the most beautiful things people can do. And I’ve changed my mind about a lot of things over the years.” Paul Auster“I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know–unless it be to share our laughter. We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide. Most of all we love and want to be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love.” James Kavanaugh“Does she scare you a little? Good. She should make you fear her love, so that when she lets you be apart of it, you won’t take it lightly. She should remind you of the power that beauty brings, that storms reside in her veins, and that she still wants you in the middle of it all. Do not take this soul for granted, for she is fierce, and she can take you places that you never thought you could go; but she is still loving in the midst of it all, like the calm rain after a storm, she can bring life. Learn her, and cherish her, respect her, and love her; for she is so much more than a pretty face, she is a soul on fire.” T.B. LaBerge // Things I’m still learning at 25“Everything is strange. Things are huge and very small.” The Waves, Virginia Woolf"We are meant to discover our authentic nature-- the state of being in which we are inspired by ourselves, turned on, lit up, and excited about who we are." Debbie Ford“Understand me. I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no soul.” Charles Bukowski “All I ever really want to know is how other people are making it through life — where do they put their body, hour by hour, and how do they cope inside of it.” Miranda July, from It Chooses You “I want to meet people with fire in them, burning through life like a forest fire, too many people die out and survive on embers.” Adam Zucconi “A thinking woman sleeps with monsters.” Snapshots of a Daughter-in-Law, Adrienne Rich“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the sky.” Jack Kerouac “The hardest period in life is one’s twenties. It’s a shame because you’re your most gorgeous, and you’re physically in peak condition. But it’s actually when you’re most insecure and full of self-doubt. When you don’t know what’s going to happen, it’s frightening.” Helen Mirren “I love people. Everybody. I love them, I think, as a stamp collector loves his collection. Every story, every incident, every bit of conversation is raw material for me…I would like to be everyone, a cripple, a dying man, a whore, and then come back to write about my thoughts, my emotions, as that person.” Sylvia Plath“I just want to think deeply about things. Contemplate ideas in a pure, free sort of way. That’s all.” Haruki Murakami, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage “Strangeness is a necessary ingredient in beauty.” Charles Baudelaire “You have to be interested. If you’re not interested, you can’t be interesting.” Iris Apfel “I always thought insanity would be a dark, bitter feeling, but it is drenching and delicious if you really roll around in it.” The Help, Kathryn Stockett “Everybody’s born with some different thing at the core of their existence. And that thing, whatever it is, becomes like a heat source that runs each person from the inside. I have one too, of course. Like everybody else. But sometimes it gets out of hand. It swells or shrinks inside me, and it shakes me up. What I’d really like to do is find a way to communicate that feeling to another person. But I can’t seem to do it. They just don’t get it. Of course, the problem could be that I’m not explaining it very well, but I think it’s because they’re not listening very well. They pretend to be listening, but they’re not, really. So I get worked up sometimes, and I do some crazy things.” Haruki Murakami,The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle“Words weren’t dull, words were things that could make your mind hum. If you read them and let yourself feel the magic, you could live without pain, with hope, no matter what happened to you.” Charles Bukowski (from Ham On Rye)“Certain kinds of knowledge rob people of their sleep.” Haruki Murakami, 1Q84“Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as a consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.” High Fidelity - Nick Hornby “For every devious scream in my head there is a divine whisper and it saves me every time.” VàZaki Nada“In man’s memories there are those things that he doesn’t reveal to all, but perhaps only to his friends. And then there are those he won’t reveal even to his friends, but perhaps only to himself, and even then in confidence. But then, finally, there are those that a man is afraid to reveal even to himself, and any decent man accumulates quite enough of those things.” Notes from the Underground - Fyodor Dostoevsky“I feel too much. That’s what’s going on. Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel the wrong ways? My insides don’t match up with my outsides. Do anyone’s inside and outsides match up? I don’t know. I’m only me. Maybe that’s what a person’s personality is: the difference between the inside and the outside. But it’s worse for me. I wonder if everyone thinks it’s worse for him. Probably. But it really is worse for me.” Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close“In spite of language, in spite of intelligence and intuition and sympathy, one can never really communicate anything to anybody. The essential substance of every thought and feeling remains incommunicable, locked up in the impenetrable strong-room of the individual soul and body. Our life is a sentence of perpetual solitary confinement.” Aldous Huxley“Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature, understand them thoroughly.”“People who have monsters recognize each other. They know each other without even saying a word.” Benjamin Alire Sáenz“Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone - and finding that that’s ok with them.” Alain de Botton“Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.” Laurie Helgoe“Remember that the world began in a manic episode, too. God likes to hoard sharp things, just like you. We are saving you. And we need to hear it one more time: Who knows best?” Lydia Havens, From the Voices, published in “Pouch” “Keep interested in others; keep interested in the wide and wonderful world. Then in a spiritual sense you will always be young.” Fredric March“fernweh [feyrn-vey]” (noun) This wonderful, untranslatable German word describes the feeling of homesickness for a far away land, a place you have never visited. Do not confuse this with the english word, wanderlust; Fernweh is much more profound, it is the feeling of an unsatisfied urge to escape and discover new places, almost a sort of sadness. You miss a place you have never experienced, as opposed to lusting over it or desiring it like wanderlust. You are seeking freedom and self-discovery, but not a particular home.“Getting lost was not a matter of geography so much as identity, a passionate desire, even an urgent need, to become no one and anyone, to shake off the shackles that remind you who you are, who others think you are.” Rebecca Solnit“Suddenly you’re ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you’re alive and its spectacular.”“I’m very interested in good and evil and the moral natures of people.” Antonia Fraser“I stay up just late enough until I am just exhausted enough that I can fall into my bed and sink into immediate slumber. Because I can’t stand lying in a bed in a dark room alone with just my thoughts for so many hours and hours.”“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too was a gift.” Mary Oliver“I crave space. It charges my batteries. It helps me breathe. Being around people can be so exhausting, because most of them love to take and barely know how to give. Except for a rare few.” Unknown“The ability to sit down with another person and talk for hours, about anything and everything, is more attractive to me than anything else.” Koi Fresco“The power to bring me out of solitude – or to push me back into it – had never belonged to another person. It was mine and only mine.” Martha Beck“We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.” The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho“Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.” bell hooks“My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplace of existence.” Sherlock Holmes from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle “Suffering and pain are always obligatory for a broad consciousness and a deep heart. Truly great men, I think, must feel great sorrow in this world.” Fyodor Dostoevsky (from Crime and Punishment)“Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away… and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast…. be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn’t necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust…. and don’t expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” Rainer Maria Rilke"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights“I felt a queasy mixture of relief and horror: when you finally stop an itch and realize it’s because you’ve ripped a hole in your skin” Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl“He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine.” Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights“I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. You’re all locked up in that little world of yours, and when I try knocking on the door, you just sort of look up for a second and go right back inside.” Haruki Murakami “I cannot stand small talk, because I feel like there’s an elephant standing in the room shitting all over everything and nobody is saying anything. I’m just dying to say, ‘Hey, do you ever feel like jumping off a bridge?�� or ‘Do you feel an emptiness inside your chest at night that is going to swallow you?’ But you can’t say that at a…party.” Paul Gilmartin, The Mental Illness Happy Hour“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!” It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.” Oriah Mountain Dreamer“I’m half child half ancient.”I am fucking insane but my intentions are gold and my heart is pure“How strange it is. We have these deep terrible lingering fears about ourselves and the people we love. Yet we walk around, talk to people, eat and drink. We manage to function. The feelings are deep and real. Shouldn’t they paralyze us? How is it we can survive them, at least for a little while? We drive a car, we teach a class. How is it no one sees how deeply afraid we were, last night, this morning? Is it something we all hide from each other, by mutual consent? Or do we share the same secret without knowing it? Wear the same disguise?” Don DeLillo“Everyone has a 2 AM and a 2 PM personality.”“My problem is that I fall in love with words, rather than actions. I fall in love with ideas and thoughts, instead of reality. And it will be the death of me.” “My nights are for overthinking, my mornings are for oversleeping.”“Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood"George Orwell, 1984“‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless, it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.’” Louis C.K.“I’m not the same everyday. There are times where I’m loud and chatty, and there are times when I’m really quiet. I don’t think I can define myself.”“Personally, I’m a mess of conflicting impulses—I’m independent and greedy and I also want to belong and share and be a part of the whole.” Richard Siken, Spork Editor’s Pages: Black Telephone“There is no pleasure more complex than that of thought.” Jorge Luis Borges, The Immortal from Labyrinths, “Pick my brain. Ask me about my views on something. Dig deeper than the obvious. Let’s make each other think. Show me a different perspective.”“I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good.” Roal Dahl "I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk. About love, about life, about anything, about everything. To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl. Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about what's really important in life."“Human beings are made of water, we were not designed to hold ourselves together; rather run freely like oceans like rivers” Beau Taplin "You're under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.""How is it possible to feel nostalgia for a world I never knew?"I am no longer afraid of becoming lost, because the journey back always reveals something new and that is ultimately good for the soul. “Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.” Janet Fitch, White Oleander“No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.” AristotleIt was a joy! Words weren't dull, words were things that could make your mind hum. If you read them and let yourself feel the magic, you could live without pain, with hope, no matter what happened to you.“I am hopelessly in love with a memory. An echo from another time, another place.” Michael Faudet My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover. ~ Falsely yours“I don’t like small talk. Talk to me about life. Talk to me about your scars and the concealer you call your smile. Talk to me about the story behind your favorite song. Tell me about your dreams that sometimes seem too big for the Earth to contain. Tell me what wakes you up in the morning before your alarm clock does. Tell me about what makes shivers run down your spine. Tell me about what makes your eyes light up like the stars I can’t see in New York City. Tell me your story.”“Who has not asked himself at some time or other: am I a monster or is this what it means to be a person?” Clarice Lispector, A Hora Da Estrela “I appreciate the people who take time to look at the world a little deeper”Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Be curious.” Stephen Hawking"I used to think I was the strangest person in the world. But then I thought, there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me, who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there, thinking of me too. Well, I hope, that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes it's true. I'm here and I'm just as strange as you.""There's nothing wrong with not understanding yourself"

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