#klaine hurt/comfort

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

I’m going through a rough time and I feel like it’s easier to go through when I read fics I relate to…any fics where Kurt or Blaine are depressed or maybe they’ve gotten hurt by others and they look to the other for comfort?

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time, hope things get better soon!

The best thing to check out is our Hurt/comfort tag, as there's lots to choose from there. Watch out for trigger warnings, of course. Here are some old and recent. ~Jen

Don’t let me go (cause I’m tired of feeling alone) by Falles

What if Blaine had met Kurt when he needed him most?

~~~~~

Haunted By The Broken Record by mistyday

Once in awhile things make sense. A lot of times, they don't. Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel lose and find one another once again; this time under the California sunset.

~~~~~

1 800 SOS by Copper Oxide

Kurt Hummel is standing on the precipice between life and death. His last attempt at life is a shakily-dialed call to a suicide hotline, where he finds the comfort in anonymity and confides his feelings to a stranger for possibly the last time. trigger warnings: self harm, suicide attempt.

~~~~~

There's no such place by pene

When Kurt lost the things he loved the most, he hid himself away from the world - until the night Blaine crashed into his life.

This is an AU. A snowbound cabin romance. And a story where Kurt and Blaine never met, until they did.

~~~~~

Coffee, Black byquizasvivamos

Moving through life in survival mode makes stopping to breathe feel like a fatal mistake. Eventually, emotions become alien, and it’s difficult to imagine the capability of ever feeling anything again.

And then one might find himself on a precipice, which is precisely where Blaine found himself: married, thirty, and standing at the edge of Lands End.

~~~~~

I Won’t Let You Down Verse by MrsCriss2012

16 year old Blaine moves to Lima with his mom and new step family. Desperately unhappy and alone, he is befriended by one Burt Hummel who lives across the road. The pair start to restore a classic car together, but what will Blaine make of Burt’s surly 27 year old son?

[nerdywriter65]

You're Safe Here (Married!Klaine Fanfiction)

Hello! Scarlett here, I've been posting irregularly on ao3 for a couple months now, but figured I'd start cross-posting over here as well, so here's one of my favorite little Klaine fluff piece, I hope you all enjoy it!

Trigger warnings for g/ns, and p/nic att/cks

Blaine knew it was stupid.

He was twenty three. He'd been living in New York since he was nineteen. He was used to the sounds of the city.

He was pretty sure he'd never get over the sounds of gun shots.

Kurt was sound asleep next to him, snuggled up next to him, with an arm thrown lazily across his chest. Blaine wondered if Kurt could feel how fast Blaine's heart was racing. It was fine, he was fine. The gun senior year hadn't even been someone trying to shoot anyone, he knew that. Why were the sounds bothering him so much more tonight? It didn't make any sense.

A gust of wind blew through the apartment, and then he realized what it was. They'd left the window open, deciding to use the cool evening air to keep the room comfortable, opposed to the air conditioner. It had worked, both of them were comfortably wrapped in their comforter, proving that the room was cold enough, but the window being left open meant the sounds were all louder.

Blaine's breathing stopped when he heard another, unmistakable gun shot. Not only were there gun shots, but those shots meant someone died, and he couldn't do anything. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks, but instead of helping, all it did was make it easier for him to picture every terrible thing going on in the streets below them. Every image wasn't of being stuck in the choir room, knees pulled to his chest as he had the worst panic attacks of his life, back to back, without anyone there to help. No, every image he saw was finding Kurt, dead and bloodied, evidence of bullets across his beautiful skin. He remembered seeing Kurt in the hospital, all those years ago when he got beat up. He remembered getting the call like it was yesterday. Every time he got a call from an unknown number he felt like vomiting, because he feared it was someone telling him that his beautiful husband was dead.

Since all those years ago, they'd been married, and had moved to a supposedly safer part of New York, and he knew all the gunshots he heard weren't from outside their apartment. They could've been miles away, but especially at night the sound traveled easily. He knew that. But he also knew that it wasn't a terribly unlikely thing for Kurt to get shot on the way home.

He was going to be sick. Kurt had rolled over, no longer touching Blaine, so he carefully crawled out from under the covers, careful not to wake his husband. Kurt didn't need to deal with his trauma from when he was eighteen. As soon as he stood he realized throwing up wasn't a thought, but a reality. He stumbled to the bathroom, falling to his knees in front of the toilet as he threw up, tears streaming down his face. He couldn't breathe, his chest hurt. Everything hurt. Was this was a heart attack felt like? He couldn't breathe in between painful dry heaves, and that was just making him gag even more. Everything ached, he couldn't breathe, couldn't move, tears were streaming down his cheeks. He didn't know when he managed to stop throwing up, but the small victory that was barely made it to his awareness.

And then Kurt's beautiful voice cut through the blinding pain that was consuming him.

"Blaine?" he asked, his voice slightly rough from just waking up. Guilt washed over Blaine as it occurred to him that he'd woken his husband up. Kurt had an early day the next day, he didn't need Blaine getting in the way of his sleep.

"Sorry," Blaine choked out, trying to compose himself in some way, "sorry, I'm sorry,"

"Shhh," Kurt said in response, falling to his knees next to Blaine, and taking his hands in both of his, "are you going to throw up again?" he asked, and Blaine considered for a moment, but shook his head. He'd thrown up all he'd eaten that day, and the nausea was mostly gone.

"I need you to breathe, okay? I know it hurts, but you can breathe. If you breathe everything else will hurt less, okay?" and Blaine was so grateful for the man sitting next to him, his deep blue eyes so kind and loving as they looked into his. Blaine couldn't bring himself to reply as he took shaky breaths in and out, squeezing Kurt's hands as though his life depended on it.

"There you go, you're going to be okay. You're safe, I promise," and Kurt wrapped his arms tightly around him, and Blaine all but melted into Kurt's chest, sobbing into his shoulder. When his breathing had somewhat calmed, and he felt somewhat in control of himself again, he pulled away slightly, once again feeling guilty for waking Kurt.

"Hey, don't feel bad for waking me up," Kurt said, before Blaine could apologize, and despite his guilt, Blaine felt his heart soar at how much this man truly knew him.

"I'm still sorry," Blaine said, his voice raw from throwing up.

"I'm your husband, it's my job to help you when something is wrong," Kurt replied, simply. Blaine let himself relax back into Kurt's arms momentarily.

"How about you brush your teeth, to get rid of the taste, and I'll go make some tea, and then we can sit and talk for a while?" Kurt suggested, and Blaine was quiet for a long moment.

"Would you stay here while I brush my teeth?" he asked, and Kurt nodded instantly.

"Of course," he said, and he stood, offering Blaine his hand. Blaine took it, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. Kurt stood next to the sink, patiently as Blaine brushed his teeth, and washed his mouth out with mouth wash. When he'd finished, Kurt took his hand, and lead him to the kitchen. Blaine hovered next to his husband as Kurt filled the kettle with water, and set it on the stove to boil.

"What kind of tea would you like?" Kurt asked, selecting a tea bag for himself.

"Whatever you're having," Blaine replied, and Kurt pulled a second tea bag from the tea box, before turning to the cupboard and glancing over the mugs they had. Kurt selected his favorite one, one that Blaine had bought for him for their first wedding anniversary. It wasn't particularly fancy, just a white mug, that was decorated with red and yellow flowers. Blaine had bought it, because red and yellow flowers had always been their thing, red for love, and yellow for friendship. Kurt studied the cabinet a moment longer, before selecting another fairly simple mug, this one with a yellow warbler drawing being the main design. Kurt set both mugs on the counter, ripping open the tea bags with his teeth, something he'd always done, but Blaine had never understood why. He knew each individual detail of what his husband was doing didn't matter, but paying attention to them always seemed to calm Blaine down. The kettle wasn't boiling yet, but Kurt seemed to think it was warm enough, as he poured the steaming water into each mug, holding the tea bag string with his finger so that the tea bag didn't get pulled all the way into the mug. He spooned sugar into each mug, two spoonfuls into his, and four into Blaine's.

"Here," Kurt said, pressing the warm mug into Blaine's hands. Blaine expected it to be almost painfully hot, but it was pleasantly warm instead.

"Thank you," Blaine said, and Kurt smiled softly, pressing a kiss to Blaine's cheek as he walked past, from the kitchen, to the couch in their makeshift living room. Blaine following, sitting next to his lover, and resting his head against Kurt's shoulder.

"What happened?" Kurt asked softly, no anger or judgement in his voice, just interest.

"There were gunshots," Blaine said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Oh, baby," Kurt said, wrapping his free arm around Blaine's shoulders, "you should've woken me up,"

"You have work early tomorrow," Blaine explained, and Kurt shook his head.

"That doesn't matter. If something is wrong, Blaine, I want you to wake me up, okay? I don't want you to have to go through that sort of thing alone," And Blaine sighed, setting his mug on the coffee table as he rubbed his face with his now free hands.

"I just hate feeling like I can't handle things. I'm twenty three, Kurt. I know we've both started thinking about kids, how am I supposed to be a father if I can't handle my own shit myself?" Blaine asked, and he felt tears pricking in his eyes once again.

"Oh, Blaine," Kurt breathed, his own tea placed on the coffee table beside Blaine's, reaching and pulled Blaine's hands from where they were nervously running through his hair, instead squeezing them tight in his own hands, "your trauma doesn't mean you'll be any less of a father," Blaine didn't have an answer for that, he instead let himself fall back into Kurt's arms.

"I couldn't stop picturing you getting shot," Blaine admitted, and Kurt just held him tighter.

"I'm okay. We're safe here, Blaine," and Blaine's breathing was still shaky as tears rolled down his cheeks, but in that moment, wrapped in Kurt's arms, he truly felt safe.

"I love you," he said after a long moment, and Kurt rubbed his back softly.

"I love you too, Blaine. So much," and Kurt pushed him away just enough to see his face, wiping his tears away before leaning in to kiss him. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's neck, kissing him back, gently.

"How about we go back to bed?" Kurt suggested, and Blaine nodded slowly.

"Can we... can we close the window?" Blaine asked, and Kurt didn't even question it.

"Absolutely," and when they'd both stood from the couch, Kurt reached for Blaine's hand again as they walked to the bedroom. Kurt closed the window, before following Blaine to the bed, crawling in next to him, and rolling so they were facing each other, their legs tangled together, and arms wrapped around each other.

"I love you," Blaine breathed once again, nuzzling into Kurt's neck.

"I love you too," was Kurt's breathy response. Blaine's panic and fear was completely gone as he relaxed in Kurt's arms. They were both safe, and that's all he needed. 

[shame-is-a-wasted-emotion]

A new one shot !!

Hey guys!! I am back again. This time,not with an update on the Valentine fic but with a new one shot

She Gave Me Two Hearts (read it on AO3)

Rating:Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandoms:Glee,Klaine-Fandom,Glee Klaine

Relationship:Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel

Words:3674

Characters:

Blaine Anderson,Kurt Hummel,Original Characters,Original Child(ren) of Kurt Hummel

Summary:

Kurt Anderson-Hummel found some reports pertaining to Blaine Anderson-Hummel about his past medical records which contained a very shocking secret. What would happen when Blaine finds it? How would they handle it together?

Older! Klaine

so the things that might trigger you: Organ transplant mention, incredibly heart breaking. You might cry (or you might not)

Things you dont have to worry: Blood, injury description.

[teddyshoney]

Chapter 11 is posted! A resolution happens swiftly and quickly to the problem I began at the end of the last chapter, and we get some happiness at the end of the chapter.

To read the new chapter, click HERE!

Title: Words Unwritten; Stories Untold Chapter: 11/14 Words: 46,076 Summary: During his first ever author book signing event, self-published poetry author Blaine Anderson meets famous writer Kurt Hummel during a slightly awkward chance encounter. Blaine considers this to be a self-esteem boost and nothing more until an innocent-looking email turns into a whirlwind summer romance that Blaine is certain he'll never forget. To read from the beginning, click HERE!

[moonwack]

i love crying over fan fiction at two in the morning

[kurtsascot]

Ugh, As If!

read klueless, a klaine!clueless au, on ao3!!!!

HQ Version of Cover Art ; Art Ref Image

Summary: It’s 1995. Kurt’s a senior at McKinley High, and he’s looking to lose his virginity and get his love life in order before he goes off to college.

Unfortunately, Blaine, the pretentious son of Burt’s ex-wife, is in Lima to intern for Burt’s congressional reelection campaign, and Kurt is stuck dealing with him until the election is over.

Art: alice / @warblercore @mistyintherivers

Rating: M*

Key Tags: enemies to lovers, but its more like, oblivious idiots to lovers, kurt’s more oblivious than blaine, romcom shenanigans, 90s slang, humor, virginity, falling in love, forced proximity, first time*, pining, hurt/comfort, fluff, slowburn, kind of ?, internalized homophobia, period appropriate homophobia but like…as little as possible, klaine endgame

Soundtrack (updated as chapters go live)

closeups under the read more !!

[bitbybitwrites]

❄️🥤 :)

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

For Klaine - how about a good thriller/espionage fic . . like a Bourne Identity sort of thing . .lots of edge of my seat action and intrigue. . . keep me guessing who to trust . . .not gonna lie . @yadivagirl 'sfics always had me at the edge of my seat. So I'd say her.

For RWRB - A firstprince/ Like Water For Chocolate type fic ( magic realism + food) would be interesting - I think @14carrotghoul would be a great writer for that Or perhaps @myheartalivewrites as well . .

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

ONLY ONE?!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂 As a reader you're killing me to limit it.

I'm gonna cheat and give you at least one for Klaine and RWRB.

Let me preface here by saying I am such a lover of angsty/ hurt/ comfort fics . . . totally addicted to them. Here are two that make me sob like a baby throughout, but also give me all the wonderful happy feels once we reach the end.

Oh yeah and these two happen to also be kid!fics as well - which i also like reading.

Klaine fic: @heartsmadeofbooks knows I always wax poetic about Solid Gold. 💖💖

RWRB fic: acastle's ( crap, forgive me I'm blanking if you're on tumblr so I don't know how to tag you) lovely series, Orion in Your Fingertips I think is so heartbreakingly beautiful. 💖💖

*****

Thanks for the ask, @mynonah ! 💖💖💖

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game - To play click here

[fallevs]

✨️ the masterlist no one asked for ✨️

Although I've been a member of this fandom for only a few years and have been publishing stories for even less time (because I have written quite a few, but some of them are well hidden in my pc), I thought it would be fun to create a masterlist, in case anyone wants to take a look at the nonsense I create.

Under the cut you will find the stories with tags and triggers

Invisible Strings verse:

Don't let me go (cause I'm tired of feeling alone)

9,868 words

Relationship: Kurt/Blaine

Tags: Platonic Romance, Fluff and Angst, Blangst, Sadie Hawkins Dance, Gay Bashing, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hate Crimes, Violence, Trauma removed, Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Hospitalization, Verbal Humiliation, Nurse!Kurt

Sequel: A moment of forever

6,897 words

Relationship: Kurt/Blaine

This is slightly angsty, but mostly fluff and melancholy.

Neighbors Apart

19,514 words

Relationship: Kurt/Blaine

Tags: Mutual Frustration, They can't stand each other until they do, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Neighbors!Klaine, Fluff and Crack, Some Humor, A little bit of angst, Eventual Smut, Anal Sex, Inspired by an italian movie, Blink and you'll miss it blood mention, Blink and you'll miss it Kurtbastian, Antarctica, Saving the whales, Saving the turtles, Alternate Universe, Manhattan

Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me

Klaine Secret Santa Gift Exchange 2023

4,145 words

Relationship: Kurt/Blaine

Tags: Alternate Universe, Soulmates, Dreams, Dreams vs. Reality, Light Angst, Poetry, Love Poems, Inspired by Romeo and Juliet, Writer!Blaine, Florist!Kurt, Nostalgia, Melancholy, Memories, Epistolary, Diary/Journal, Language of Flowers

My Name Has My Father's Voice

10.636 words

Kurt and Burt centric, Kurt/Blaine

Tags: Character Death, Cancer, Terminal Illnesses, Father-Son Relationship, Hospitalization, Not Canon Compliant, Glee Season/Series 04, Takes place after Christmas, Finn is well and alive, Angst and Tragedy, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, Based on a real experience, Vomiting, Crying

Headphones Recommended

9,212 words

Relationship: Kurt/Blaine

Tags: Online Romance , Cute, Meet-Cute, Cute Ending, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Insomnia, Jeremiah is an ass, And Sebastian can't stand him, Some Humor, Tumblr Prompt, Teacher!Blaine, He teaches art history, I don't know why... but I can imagine him doing it, Massage Therapist!Kurt, Asmrartist!Kurt, ASMR, Fluff and Humor, Mentioned Quinn Fabray, Lesbian Kitty Wilde, ASMR Triggers

[klainetism]

does anyone have some good klaine hurt/comfort fics where kurt is the hurt one plsss

[klaine-a03-feed]

Of Sadness and Soup

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/XJ2cCN8 by fictionescape0822 "He hadn’t wanted to crowd Kurt in the choir room earlier, so after an initial reunion at his locker, he’d given him space, and he just has no idea if it’d been the right thing. And then Kurt had texted, asked him if he’d come over, and of course he wants to be with him right now, but—" A 5x03 fill-in in which Blaine is an unsure lil muffin. Words: 4378, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Glee Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Burt Hummel Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel Additional Tags: Romance, Klaine, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e03 The Quarterback, Missing Scene, Gay Sex

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Sleep Tips for the Chronically Nocturnal

Author: @rockitmans

Rating: M

Status: Completed in December 2023

Word Count: 6,349

Summary: Kurt can't sleep and Blaine takes that as a personal challenge.

Tropes/Genre: roommates!Klaine, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, insomnia, humor, fluff

Lynne's review: Perfect. Oblivious, hopelessly in love idiots. Loved it. And Elliot is hilarious. 

Read at: AO3

[kayla6]

one thing (of many) that I hated about glee’s lack of consistent writing is klaines sex life. In season 2 Kurt is very understandably hesitant to have sex, like he’s been bullied, that can do a lot to your mental and physical health/how you perceive yourself/and make you very weary of the relationships you build that not only includes intimacy but also friendships(Kurt definitely needed better friends)but also in season one Sue pointed out a lot of physical flaws in not only Kurt but other characters, I forget what episode it is. In season 3 we of course have the first time Blaine and Kurt have built their trust in each other, they’re okay, and then the whole chandler thing happens, we learn they apparently HAVE A MAKE-OUT SCHEDULE, Kurt mentions they do sometimes have unscheduled make out sessions, but still it’s restrictive(which again understandable so, if Kurt is more comfortable that way amazing, like if Blaine agreed to that, he’s very patient, and understanding and I feel like that’s important) I really wanted them to specify what happened during these make out sessions, but based on what glee tells us it was most likely just kissing, but apparently Blaine (according to Kurt) doesn’t make Kurt feel special, so they lost that intimacy sometime after they had sex and Kurt entertained the attention he was getting from chandler that he wasn’t getting from Blaine, like Blaine doesn’t flirt with him that much, doesn’t send suggestive texts and so on. In season 4 Blaine cheats some debate why, if it was due to him being lonely(that’s what Blaine said) some think it was self sabotage, some thinks he was just bored, some thinks he just wanted to hurt Kurt, (one thing we can all agree on is this is when they should’ve permanently broke up)but the point is he seeked out physical affection instead of emotional(they basically reversed reasons for why they cheated/entertained other people that weren’t each other) then they break up, they are still talking but they’re not together, Kurt makes it clear at the play, then sectionals come, Kurt calls, he’s missed Blaine as a friend, Blaine’s hoping they can work out, even visits him during Christmas, they hookup at the wedding (which is so crazy considering the tested episode, but I won’t say much on that) but they don’t get back together until season 5. Meanwhile in season 5 they have throwaway lines like Blaine saying something about how the curtain thing was stupid and they could hear everything their roommates did, and who knows what they’ve heard from Blaine and Kurt, which to me means they were having sex regularly. Then a couple(not even) episodes later Blaine is just so insecure about his life and body he doesn’t want to have sex at all. Instead he watches porn which to Kurt is very disrespectful to their relationship, they even have a public fight about it where Kurt attacks him with a fencing sword. But they talk again about they’re relationship and they could eventually work on that, but they have this big fight and break up. In season 6 they make it seem like Blaine and Kurt were not having sex, like barely, (their whole relationship) they even make Santana point it out, which that whole scene just…is weird. The way they framed the whole scene was odd, because they basically were saying Kurt is this boring sexless person that Blaine maybe secretly resented and that’s why he cheated/they didn’t work out. But yeah the lack of consistency and dates(like the s5 one is just crazy, I can’t even keep track of ages anymore) can be blamed for a lot.

[shame-is-a-wasted-emotion]

7 + 17 for fandom asks <3

Oh thank you so much for ask my lovely friend <3. And happy friendship day to you ❤️❤️

So let's see what we've got

your favorite tropes to read/write/draw

Angst /comfort or hurt/comfort. I'm a sucker for these two and if I want to relieve my feeling by crying ill read these fics. Also klaine being lovely husbands. Thriller stories are good too.

the thing in canon that everyone loves and that you also love

I guess the way klaine look at each other. Them holding hands. Talking reassuring words. Basically their existence. Am I right? 😏

Thank you so much again honey !!

[wowbright]

Fic: Enough

Klaine Valentine’s Challenge 2023: “You're the Best Thing” by The Style Council (Day 5 prompt)

Words: ~2,825 words

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: Kurt wants to know why Blaine arranged dinner with the lesbians.

I’m back with more vignettes from my Mormon!Klaine universe for Klaine Valentines 2023! This vignette takes place right after yesterday’s One Body. Mutual pining, and Kurt thinks Blaine is straight. Kinda angsty but also a little comfort maybe?

My Mormon!Klaine Masterpost.

Notes: Jana and Liesl are Jan the jeweler and Liz her partner from 4.22 “All or Nothing.”

--------

“Thank you for coming over,” Liesl said as they stood at the front doorway getting ready to leave. She reached out and put a hand on each of the elders, giving their forearms a little squeeze. The touch was technically against the rules, but so was the rest of the evening. Kurt wasn’t going to say anything. “I'm sure you're supposed to spend your time with people who are more likely to convert, but it really was a delight. I haven't talked about religion like that since I was probably your age, staying up until three in the morning with my friends and pondering the big questions in life. You two remind me of my younger self, in some ways. Yes, I know that makes no sense coming from an old German, Catholic lesbian. But please. Stay in touch. I want to see where your lives lead you.”

Jana crooked her hand around Kurt’s upper arm and leaned toward his ear. “I hope you’ll forgive me if I came on too strong. I'm terribly stubborn. Liesel can tell you. It's a fault as much as it is a blessing.”

Kurt turned toward her. The warmth of her smile lit up the evening. She was a paradox that way. She poked and prodded at long-covered wounds, awakening pain that Kurt had become adept at ignoring. But there was a goodness to her, a kindness, that shone through. She understood his injuries and wanted to mend them. But just as a doctor couldn't cure every patient, her understanding couldn't heal him. “Don't worry about it,” he said. “I’m just as stubborn.”

“I know,” she smiled wistfully and then, to his utter surprise and in a very unGerman fashion, hugged him.

She didn't feel like his mother. His mother had always been bigger than him. She didn't feel like his mother's mother, either. But her embrace felt familiar in a way he couldn't explain. Maybe Blaine was right. Maybe somewhere deep inside, we really could remember the friends we had made in the pre-existence.

*

Blaine was out of words. He'd used so many of them over dinner, and held so many back, and he was still holding words back now, because Liesl and Jana, who had been so easy to talk to, were behind them. And Kurt, who was usually the easiest to talk to but tonight felt impossible to talk to, was next to him.

Blaine was angry. He was hurt. Because he’s straight and it doesn’t personally affect him.

It wasn't true. It wasn't true at all. Kurt just kept assuming he was straight. And part of that was Blaine’s fault. But it wasn't all Blaine’s fault. Blaine had never said anything about falling in love with girls, or thinking they were sexy, or even wanting to marry one. Had he assumed he would? Yes. But he’d never claimed to want it.

And it should be obvious. How could it not be patently obvious? Kurt was everything to Blaine. His love meant more than anything. The church, his parents, his granddad, his bishop, the apostles and prophets—their opinions and judgments no longer mattered. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall join with his beloved: and they shall be one flesh.

That's what Blaine wanted. To be one with Kurt.

Blaine said it and said it, but Kurt never heard. I love you at the end of their morning prayers. I love you when they went to bed at night. I love you at random moments, when Kurt filled him with delight. I love you when Kurt cried. I love you more than you know. I love you more than anything. I love you. I love you. I love you.

There had been a moment at dinner, when Jana and Liesl had been talking about being young and in love—when you’ve met the right person, you know—and Kurt’s eyes met his, and for a moment, Blaine could've sworn Kurt knew how he felt, and felt the same way.

But then the moment was gone, and Blaine wasn't sure anymore.

Blaine might have the air of a Disney Prince. But that didn't mean Kurt was in love with him. It didn't mean Blaine was worth abandoning dreams of the Celestial Kingdom over.

“You're awfully quiet,” Kurt said when they were several blocks away from Liesl and Jana's house, having gone right past the bus stop in silent agreement that tonight was a night for walking.

“You are, too,” Blaine said.

Kurt didn't answer. He looked ahead. The sun was setting behind them. In front of them, the clouds were a steely gray.

*

Are you running toward life in service to the church, or are you running away from life outside?

Jana’s words kept repeating in Kurt’s head. Why had he come on this mission? His dad didn't expect it of him. His bishop had recommended it, of course; but after Finn died, he'd said they could delay it. He could stay in Lima and help out his parents for a little longer. There was no hurry. It could happen in God’s time.

But there had been a hurry for Kurt. He’d needed out of Lima. He’d needed to stop being so sad. And how could he stop being sad when everything reminded him of his family's loss? He didn't want to drive past McKinley High and see that accursed practice field out of the corner of his eye. He didn't want to run into his friends from the glee club, because they either talked about Finn or they didn't talk about Finn, and when they didn't talk about Finn, his memory loomed even more than when they did. He didn't want to walk past Finn's bedroom. He didn't want to go through Finn's stuff.

And he had planned for a mission, anyway. Ever since he'd been a little kid, he had dreamed about becoming a missionary. About spreading the gospel and Jesus’s love.

Also, it was expected of him. Heavenly Father expected him to go on a mission. It was necessary for Kurt’s refinement. Kurt had held no illusions that it would make him not gay. But he’d hoped it would make him holier. Maybe sacrificing two years of his life—never wearing anything interesting or dancing alone in his bedroom to loud showtunes or spending hours going through fashion magazines and redesigning the clothes he found in their pages—maybe that would teach him to sacrifice in other ways. If he could learn to live without the things that made life sparkle, then maybe he could learn to live without the hope of ever falling in love. He could adjust to what the Plan of Salvation offered him. He could stay celibate for a lifetime, earning himself a a wife and family and worlds without end in the afterlife. Or maybe he would develop the strength to marry Mercedes, if she converted, or someone like her—someone who understood him and made him laugh, someone he respected and loved. It wouldn't be like falling, but it would be good enough. Their children would make up for what their marriage lacked. Each day would be a struggle, but there would be rewards along the way.

Are you running toward life in service to the church, or are you running away from life outside?

It was easy for Jana to say. She had a life outside her convent. She had someone who loved her. Someone she could make a life with.

Kurt didn't. It felt that way, so often, with Blaine. But it wasn't real. When Kurt’s mission was over, he would go home, and Blaine would—well, maybe Blaine wouldn't forget him, but Blaine would love his next companion just as much. Blaine would keep on loving his companions and being patient with them and being kind to them, a perfect practice for loving the wife he would eventually be sealed to.

And sure. Maybe Kurt could find someone else. Someone gay who thought Kurt was smart and funny and kind and noble. Someone who found him attractive, who wanted to do more than just hold hands and hug in a brotherly fashion.

But Kurt didn’t want ‘someone.’ He wanted Blaine.

Kurt couldn't leave the church behind for a person who might exist, somewhere, maybe. He could leave it for Blaine. In a heartbeat, he would leave it for Blaine. Unlike what apparently existed in Catholicism, there was no room in Mormonism for that kind of love. You couldn't stay in the church as an unrepentant sinner. You had to make a choice between the language of your birth and the language of your heart.

But without Blaine? The church was the only language left that Kurt spoke fluently.

Are you running toward life in service to the church, or are you running away from life outside?

*

Kurt broke the silence again a kilometer or two into their walk, as they crossed the Danube. The usually green waters looked gray in the dwindling light. “You knew they were lesbians when they invited us,” he said.

It wasn’t a question, so Blaine didn’t answer. He sensed this was the beginning of a fight, and he wanted to delay the inevitable.

“You knew there wouldn't be any men in the house, but you accepted their invitation instead of sending the sisters over in our place.” Kurt’s voice was steady and deceptively curious, like that detective from the syndicated 1970s show who always pretended not to know anything even when he'd already cracked the case.

“They didn't invite the sisters,” Blaine said. “They invited us.”

“But why did you accept? You know we're not supposed to be alone with women. And given how moved you were by their love story, I hardly think you wanted to proselytize them. You do realize if they want to get baptized, they’d have to break up and stop living together, don't you?”

“You know why I accepted their invitation, Kurt.” They were in a park now, trees and grass all around them, the fluttering of the Danube echoing over their steps. The sun was gone. No one else was around.

“Because you were wrong, Blaine," Kurt continued as if Blaine had said nothing at all. "There is no same-sex marriage in the church. You can nitpick the language of the covenants all you want, but you know what they mean.”

Blaine gritted his teeth. “I was not wrong. It’s your business if that's the way you want to hear it, but that doesn’t make you right. Have you ever stopped to think that God inspired the phrasing used in the temple? Because the temple is scripture. The things the apostles say, the things the prophets say—unless they’re in Doctrine and Covenants, they’re not. And the Family Proclamation isn’t scripture, either. There’s truth in there—spouses should love each other, parents should love their children—but it’s not the truth. So if God doesn’t condemn same-sex marriage in the temple, maybe it means something.”

Kurt growled. He actually growled. “I can’t. I can’t with you.”

“Kurt. I’m not trying to make you angry. These are the things I truly believe, in my heart.”

“Are they? Are they really? Or are you trying to make me feel better because you can’t stand the fact that anyone around you might have been dealt a crappy hand when you got a terrific one? Because you don’t want the guilt of your own happiness?”

“Kurt. Don’t.”

Kurt turned to face Blaine. “No. It’s worse than that, isn’t it? It’s not for you. You do it for me. Because you care about me.” He said it like an insult, like it was a crime. Like love was an offense that needed to be punished.

“Yes, Kurt,” Blaine answered calmly. At least, his voice was calm. Inside, he was anything but. He was a deer hounded by wolves. He was an army of bees preparing to defend its hive. He was a mother bird whose eggs had slipped from the nest. “Because I care about you.”

Kurt’s skin was gray in the moonlight, but his teeth were white. “I don't want you to care!” He jabbed an index finger in Blaine's chest. “It's not your job, Blaine. Stop caring.”

“I can’t, Kurt.” Blaine felt tears pressing against his eye sockets, his forehead. It wasn't the time to say it, but he didn't know what else to say. “I can't, Kurt, because I love you. I do, and I can’t—”

“Love is overrated!” Kurt spun on his heels and began walking again, too fast for Blaine to keep up without jogging.

“Kurt, Kurt—” Blaine didn't know what to say. He wanted to finish his sentence, the one Kurt had interrupted, the one that was supposed to end and I can't stand this anymore, I can't stand the idea of you being alone for the rest of your life because I want to be in it, because I want to spend it loving you, in every way you want, kissing you and holding you and building a life together and making love to you and so many things, so many things I never imagined I would ever feel about anyone, if only you’ll have me. But Kurt was moving so fast, and he was so angry, and Kurt’s anger always made it harder for Blaine to say what he meant, made Blaine’s tongue tie up in knots that he didn't know how to undo.

“Love is overrated!” Kurt repeated, and then, in an exasperated stream, “They were nice ladies. There was nothing wrong with them. But you can't fix me with them, Blaine. You can't fix my life.”

Blaine put his hand on Kurt’s arm. It was a dangerous move, but Kurt had to slow down. Blaine wasn't wearing running shoes.

To Blaine’s surprise, Kurt didn't shake his hand away. He did, however, emit a very snappy, “What?”

Slow down, Kurt, Blaine meant to say. But what came out of his mouth was, “Love one another. You said it yourself, Kurt. It's the most important thing. Love one another.”

Kurt stopped in his tracks. His breathing changed. “But it's not enough, Blaine! Can't you see it's not enough?” The words started out sharply. But they weakened at the end, as if the wind had just been knocked out of Kurt. He covered his face with one hand and turned away from Blaine. He sniffled.

“Why isn't it enough?” Blaine asked.

“Because, because—” Kurt sobbed. “Because sometimes I feel like Heavenly Father doesn't care about love at all. That the Plan of Salvation is about something else. And I just can't figure out what, what it's for. And I want love to be enough, I do. But then there's all these other things, and these rules, and I get so scared, and I want to see Finn after I die, and what if we aren't in the same level of heaven, the church is supposed to bring families together, but I worry all the time that I’ll never see him again, and the gospel is supposed to be simple but it drives me up the wall, Blaine. I can never be good enough, there is no grace, there is no room for people like Liesl and Jana to live their lives and come to church when they want to and not get excommunicated for goodness sake. And maybe that's a good thing, because maybe if I get excommunicated I'll end up in the Telestial Kingdom and I will see Finn again, except then I won't see my dad or my mom and, and— I just want to love, Blaine. I want to love and be loved and be with the people I love. Is that so wrong?”

Kurt had been talking nonstop, barely a breath between phrases, gesticulating wildly with every utterance, as if he needed the help of his hands to pull the words out of his body and fling them to the stars. But now he went still. He went still, and looked at Blaine, and his voice softened. “Is that so wrong?” he repeated.

“No, Kurt. It’s right. It will always be right.”

Kurt collapsed into Blaine, his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and his face pressed into his neck, burning hot like the sun and sopping wet like the Danube. “I’m sorry, Blaine. You did nothing wrong. I’m so sorry.”

“I know,” Blaine said. He wrapped an arm around Kurt’s back—propping him up, trying to give him strength he needed. He raised the other arm and curled his hand around Kurt’s head, holding him close, praying that his love could be enough, at least for this moment. “I know, Kurt.” He buried his nose into Kurt’s hair and kissed him—not because he thought Kurt would feel it, or that if he felt it, he would understand what it meant. But because Blaine had to. “I want it to be enough, too.”

[spaceorphan18]

Scenes from December (9/24)

Klaine Advent Day Nine : Value

***

December, 2014

Kurt sat at the end of the kitchen table in his dad’s house, coffee mug in his hands as he read the web browser on his laptop. A plate of half eaten scrambled eggs and turkey sausage sat to his side.  It was late enough in the morning that the sun was finally up, and fully shining in the window behind him.  It had snowed about a foot the previous night and now the snow lay snug against the window outside.  Despite the cold outside, Kurt felt rather comfortable and relaxed in his blue, plaid pajama bottoms and Blaine’s old Dalton t-shirt.  Normally, he’d have something playing in the background - a musical soundtrack or the top forty on the radio, but it was nice to take a moment to soak in the peacefulness before his day became crazy.  

“Hey, didn’t hear you guys come in last night,” Burt came into the kitchen, and went straight for the coffee maker.  

“It was just me,” Kurt said, closing the laptop.  “Blaine stayed at the apartment.  I just cannot with that place.  It looks like a gay unicorn threw up all over it.” 

Burt let out a laugh as he leaned against the counter.  “You guys been married, what, a month - and you already need time apart?” 

“Actually, no,” Kurt said.  He tapped his fingers on the mug, his wedding ring making a clanking sound against the ceramic.  The whole thing was a bit surreal still, but honestly, he loved being married.  He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss his own personal space heater that was Blaine in his bed last night.  “He and Cooper are getting the last of the boxes out of the apartment so they can turn in the keys, and then they’re headed to Kentucky.” 

“Kentucky?” 

“Yeah…” Kurt leaned back in his chair, sipping his coffee.  “Some holiday family reunion that happens once every ten years.” 

His dad gave him a confused look.  “And you didn’t wanna go or he didn’t want you to go?” 

Kurt smirked.  “Oh, it was his parents who insisted I didn’t go.  Blaine said he wouldn’t go without me, but they wanted to break the news to his grandma that he’s married to a man gently.  She’s only got a little bit of time left, and they’re afraid that a grandson married to another man might actually kill her.”  

“Well…” Burt shook his head, sipping his coffee with a disgusted look on his face.  “I say, let the old bag die then.” 

He appreciated his dad saying that, even if he found it absolutely laughable that his sheer existence would be fatal to anyone.  “It’s fine.  We talked about it - and I’m going to use the next few days to see if I can find us somewhere to live so that when we get back to New York we aren’t homeless.  Right now, our only options of value are the NYU dorms and a place not bigger than my closet here where you have to use a community bathroom, in an area that probably makes the NYU dorms seem like the more sanitary option.” 

“Probably wouldn’t hurt you to have a more traditional college experience,” Burt said, coming to the table to sit down.  “You know - back when we were dating, I would often stay with your mom at her dorm.  It sucked.  Her roommate liked to play the mandolin at 3am.  But I wouldn’t trade those years for anything.”  Burt shook his head, deep in thought.  

“What?” Kurt asked, curiously.  

“Just thinking about you - all grown up and everything.”  There was a tinge of wistfulness in Burt’s voice.  “Wish your mom would be able to see you.  Going to college.  Being married to someone who loves you.  The whole thing would have made her proud.”  

Kurt felt a warmth spread across him.  His memories of his mother may be faded, just vague images and spotty remembrances.  But she was always there with him.  Every day.  “I’d like to think she knows.  I’m sure she would be.” 

“You know - if she had been around, and the two of you had a wedding of your own, your mom would have let Blaine’s grandma have it,” Burt said.  “She had a fire in her, she did.  And she didn’t often hold things back.  She would have loved Blaine.  Would have loved that the two of you found each other.”  

Burt put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder - the two of them sharing a knowing look.  His dad wasn’t always good with telling Kurt he loved him.  But he always knew.  

“Okay, so show me these dorms,” Burt said, pulling his chair around.  “Let’s see what we’re working with.” 

“Or… I could show you the really cute one-bedroom I found in Manhattan.  It’s on the sixteenth floor but it’s only three-thousand a month.” 

Burt gave him a hard look.  “No.” 

[daisyishedwig]

Part II of still look like mine is up!

still look like mine (6213 words) by Daisyishedwig Chapters: 3/4 Fandom: Glee Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe, Blaine Anderson & Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson & Santana Lopez, Santana Lopez & Sebastian Smythe Characters: Blaine Anderson, Sebastian Smythe, Kurt Hummel, Santana Lopez Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Unavailable Sebastian Smythe, High School Sweet Hearts Seblaine, Miscommunication, Best friends/rommates Klaine, Exes with Benefits Summary: Blaine and Sebastian broke up nearly two years ago. But for whatever reason they can’t seem to stay apart for long, continuously falling back into each other's beds, no matter how risky they know it to be for their hearts.