#I actually wrote this whole post in the tags of another post but it had misinfo so I deleted the whole post

[coddda]

Light's relationship with his father is such a heartbreaking multi-faceted tragedy to me I hate it so so so much.

Soichiro loves his son so much, and while he's certainly not a perfect father I know that he cares deeply about Light. He wants to prove Light's innocence so badly but he can't let go of the underlying doubt that he might really be Kira and it gnaws at him. He does not know that from the very beginning he was being used by Light, whether it was to obtain information about the investigation, or to get to L, or to strengthen the foundations of his own lie that he wasn't Kira, this entire time he was simply another resource. He'll hang onto this doubt for years, even after L is dead, even if he doesn't express it in the latter half of the series, until he himself is on his deathbed, with what he believes to be undeniable proof that Light isn't Kira. (It's a lie, of course.) He dies happy, but it's on the foundations of blissful ignorance. His own son brought him here, brought him to the point where he had to sacrifice half of his own remaining life span, to his own death march, and was still trying to use him even now to kill someone else, but he doesn't know that. Soichiro said that what was evil was the power to kill others, and that whoever used it was cursed. Light was that cursed man, of course, and he tried to bring that curse onto Soichiro too by making him kill in his last moments. Soichiro was happy regardless, because he didn't know. He'll never know. (In the manga/anime at least. More on that later).

Light loves his father but it's not enough to turn him away from the terrible decisions he's made, if anything it only fuels them. His idea of "justice" is a twisted model of what he parroted from Soichiro, and he uses his father as another pawn (and a powerful one at that) in his plans. If he can prove that Kira is justice then perhaps his father will no longer call Kira, and therefore Light, evil, so he just needs to ensure that Kira becomes justice, right? It's Light's own actions that land his own father in the hospital for a stress-induced heart attack and yet he says only a few minutes later that he's the happiest he's ever been in his entire life. Even after Soichiro denounces Kira by calling him evil, even after he calls the Death Note's power evil, even after he unknowingly tells Light that he is cursed. When Soichiro dies Light is too deep in his own plans to actually properly process the fact that his own father is dying past what it means for his goals, but at the same time he still cares enough that after the fact he'll genuinely cry, only to brush it all away later. (Personally, I don't have a single doubt in my mind that Light's crying in that scene was genuine and I Will die on this hill). Soichiro had unknowingly denounced Light one last time just before his death, openly relieved that he "wasn't Kira after all", which also reveals that he has had doubts about Light this entire time, even after L died. By the time he's caught at the Yellow Box Warehouse Light will have denounced his father too, seeing him as someone who was made to be a fool, someone who was naive, even, too earnest for his own good. He won't realize that part of this description of his father might have applied to Light himself, back when this all started. Light takes after his father so much in so many ways already, so why not in this way too?

Ough. And honestly the other adaptations never miss out on this tragedy either, and I love them for that. (spoilers for the musical and 2006 live action movies I guess?)

In the musical we see Soichiro express his doubts and conflicts about who to believe, Light or L, if the son he raised really is a murderer, if everything he knows about him is just a lie. Like, there's an entire song about this, and you can tell how torn he is about it all, how badly he wants Light to be innocent but about how he also needs to face the truth no matter what it is, but at the end of it all he doesn't even get the answers he wants. At the end of the musical the only thing he finds is two corpses, Light's and L's, with no answers. No last words, no closure, only dead ends and a dead son and a grieving daughter. It's so awful I hate it here.

And the live action movie is fucking Insane. Like, wow. Okay. (Spoiler for the ending of Death Note The Last Name I guess) In the 2006 movies/novels Light writes Soichiro's name in the Death Note himself, and it's such an inconcievable move that it leaves even Misa shocked; Light tries to make Soichiro give him the Death Note for the last part of his plans, seeing his death as a "necessary sacrifice" (insert tangent essay about why I think 2006 live action movie Light is actually the most "coldhearted" Light Yagami, despite how infamous anime Light is). It doesn't work, and Soichiro does end up finding out that Light is Kira this time, and they have a confrontation, but he doesn't even sound truly hateful towards Light for it. He Never seems to outright hate Light for it, even after Light calls the whole confrontation a waste of time and instead tries to continue killing with the piece of the notebook in his watch, even after he tries to get Ryuk to kill everyone. When Ryuk inevitably writes Light's name and he collapses, Soichiro still reaches out for him and holds onto him as he's dying. Light literally dies in Soichiro's arms, still looking for the validation that he was right, that this wasn't all for nothing, that he was doing the good thing, trying to make Soichiro understand that he was trying to enact justice based on what he learned from him in the first place. Soichiro not only learns but sees for himself what his son has become, and Light dies in his arms leaving no closure for either of them. Soichiro will announce Light's death in L Change the WorLd on the news without saying his name, saying instead that it is only Kira who is dead, even though he and Light are one in the same. Sachiko and Sayu will never get to know the full truth about what happened to Light, instead Soichiro will lie and instead tell them: "Light was killed by Kira."

And then holy Shit the jdrama. If I write about it here this post is gonna literally double in length and also I don't really wanna spoil it but. Man. Man. If you watched it you know. Holy Shit dude I Cried.

It's the fact that, canonically, Soichiro will die oblivious to what Light has done, but even in the instances where he does find out, it doesn't make it any better, and it doesn't make him love Light any less, it just gives him more to grieve.

It's the fact that there isn't a single universe where Light doesn't use his father for his own gain, whether to gain information, or to try and control him with the Death Note, or make him write in the Death Note himself, and not a single time will he realize just how far he's strayed from Soichiro's ideals, and not a single time will he not forsake him for it by the end of the story.

It's the fact that, despite everything, Light will always refers to Soichiro as "dad/my dad" (informal) rather than "father/my father", even after he has been "denounced" (and this is true in every language that Death Note has been translated in, as far as I could find. Man, isn't that so cool! :) <- Through tears).

Anyways that's what I've been thinking of how's your guys' days going

[littlest-bugz]

After much deliberation, and being encouraged a literal single time, I have decided to make this a full post. Im also using this post as a free blocklist and rent lowering gunshots. That being said…

Can we stop posting syscourse ANYTHING in the CDD tags?? Please???

I scroll through those tags to see CDD specific content, and all I see is syscourse or syscourse tagged posts.. Where are the CDD experiences? Where are the CDD resources??? The silly memes and ask games??

“Pro-Endo” this, “Anti-Endo” that- Cant we all just collectively agree that the CDD tags are for CDD systems AND NOT FOR SYSCOURSE??

I say this with the most love and kindness in my heart, but 97.8% of the syscourse I see in the tags are from anti-endos, and its almost always complaining about endos in CDD tags… when there are few to none.

I honest to gods scroll thru multiple CDD tags every morning like the newspaper, and I very rarely see endos, let alone pro endos, which is OBVIOUSLY not synonymous with being an endo.

If you’re tired of seeing endos in CDD tags, POST YOUR OWN DAMN CDD EXPERIENCES, RESOURCES, AND OTHER THINGS (like memes or ask games!!). Not sum bullshit whining about how Endos “make a mockery of ‘real’ systems” or how endos are “stealing resources”. Like be so fucking for real with me right now. I don’t want to see your syscourse when Im looking for fucking CDD memes and experiences fresh out the bed.

Yes. I block and move on, I block tags, I do the whole fucking nine yards to avoid this bullshit, but at this point I’m blocking so many people that youd think Im Santa Clause with a naughty list. I want to relate to my fellow systems, I want the silly memes and resources, but I cant even do that when all I see is syscourse. Do you guys really have nothing better to do than hate on sum random internet strangers?

So please. Stop putting syscourse in the CDD tags.

I know Im not the only one tired of seeing it.

~ Sincerely, a guy who is usually never in any syscourse spaces but is so fucking tired of seeing all this shit in the CDD tags

[lieutenantselnia]

I just realised the concert I've got tickets for and Vienna Comic Con are all on 3 consecutive days ... that's gonna be one hell of a weekend for sure😅

[solarmorrigan]

Wrote this a while ago for I think an Angsty August prompt but never posted it. Stumbled across it a few days ago and realized I actually liked it, so here it is

Rated: T | Words: 935 | CW: Anxiety attack | Tags: hurt/comfort, Eddie Munson needs a hug, Steve Harrington has chronic pain, Eddie Munson takes care of Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson loves Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington loves Eddie Munson, the stress and imperfection of caring for someone with a chronic illness

-

There are bills. There are always fucking bills – a pile of them lying on the kitchen table where Eddie sits now, head hanging, hair clenched in his fists as he tries to breathe.

He’s pulling so hard that he’s giving himself a headache, and it nearly makes him laugh, but he refrains. He gets the feeling that if he starts, he might not stop – he’ll get louder and louder, maybe get a little hysterical, and then he’ll disturb Steve, who’s currently laid up with the mother of all headaches. Eddie’s little tension headache pales in comparison to the might of the migraine.

At least it’s Saturday. Steve hadn’t had to miss another shift, and Eddie is free to stay home and keep him company. Not that there’s much Eddie can do; he takes another shaking breath, trying to burst the band of anxiety wrapped tight around his chest, but his thoughts keep racing.

The envelopes piled on the table stare back at him as he blinks watery eyes down at his placemat, rent and utilities and medical bills all crying out for payment. Eddie’s job is barely enough to keep them afloat, and Steve – he helps as much as he can. His new job doesn’t pay as much as his last had, but fewer and more flexible hours reduce the chances he’ll get fired after calling out one too many times (like his last job).

(And Eddie can admit, if only in the privacy of his own head, to some frustrated, bitter thoughts in his weaker moments, wondering why Steve can’t just push through his pain like Eddie does. There are days when Eddie’s scars act up, when his body aches and he wants nothing more than to stay in bed, but he doesn’t.

But then he sees the results of Steve “pushing through it” – ignoring the way his whole body hurts, moving until he physically can’t anymore, until even breathing feels painful. Shoving off the impending signs of a migraine until they get mornings like this one: vomiting and stuttering and auras, sitting on the bathroom floor until Eddie can coax him back to bed.

He sees it, sees how much it kills Steve that he can’t do more, and feels ashamed.)

It isn’t just the bills weighing on Eddie’s mind, though. More even than money trouble—something with which Eddie at least has experience—it’s Steve that’s scaring him the most. The days when he’s overwhelmed by pain or by exhaustion, by fogginess and migraines, seem to be increasing, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do.

Scrape together enough money to go see another specialist who will tell them shit they already know and recommend treatments they can’t afford?

(Eddie would. If Steve’s doctor gave him yet another referral, Eddie would find a way to make it work. He’s just not sure anymore that it would help.)

He hates feeling useless. Hates sitting by, unable to do a damn thing, unable to solve the problem, stuck in place just like he had been in high school, dead weight, no good to anybody–

A rustling of sheets followed by a quiet groan reaches Eddie’s ears from the bedroom, snapping him from his spiral.

He sits up, then, releasing his hair and rubbing his hands over his cheeks, catching any stray moisture from beneath his eyes. He takes a few deep breaths, shaking less now, and stands from the table. There is one thing he can do, and even if it doesn’t feel like enough, Eddie is going to do it.

The bedroom is dim, curtains drawn over east-facing windows that blessedly get less light in the afternoon. The bed is a wreck of pillows and sheets, moved around or cast aside in an effort to alleviate the pain, to warm up or stay cool through a fluctuating body temperature. Steve lies in the middle of it all, turned now to face the door, one arm stretched over the empty space where Eddie had been.

His eyes are closed, but Eddie’s pretty sure he’s awake – sure enough, he pulls his arm back as soon as the bed dips under Eddie’s weight. Eddie slides back beneath the sheets and takes Steve’s hand with a gentle squeeze.

“Hey.”

Steve hums, eyes still closed, squeezing Eddie’s hand back. “Where’d you go?”

“Just got up to stretch my legs,” Eddie answers (it’s an easy lie, one Eddie feels no guilt over, because it’s better than explaining that he’d gotten up to avoid waking Steve with the anxiety attack that had built in his chest the longer he’d lain in the silence of their bedroom, watching the furrow between Steve’s brows that made him look pained even in his sleep).

After a moment, Steve’s eyes flutter open, searching Eddie’s face. Whatever he finds there makes his frown deepen.

“Kinda ruined our weekend, huh?” he says quietly. “’m sorry you’re stuck with me like this.”

“Don’t,” Eddie says lowly. “Never apologize. I’m not stuck with you, I love you.” He leans up, presses a kiss to Steve’s forehead, and Steve sighs.

He takes their joined hands and brings them to his lips, kissing the back of Eddie’s. “I love you, too,” he murmurs against Eddie’s skin.

“You need anything?” Eddie asks, before he really settles in.

Steve makes a noise in the negative. “Just you,” he says, lips still brushing Eddie’s hand. “That’s enough.”

Eddie can’t help the overwhelmed tears that well up in his eyes again. This is enough – they’re enough. As long as Eddie has Steve, they can figure the rest out together.

And that will always be enough.

[ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral]

Hello again everyone! It's time for another Merlin au! This time featuring Uther's propaganda and a healthy dose of misunderstandings and pain! :D

This au was inspired by an idea that I pitched in a reblog of one of @tamaha's amazing posts! (Also, shoutout to my awesome mutual @achillesuwu, since you asked to be tagged when I wrote this! :) ) You can find that original reblog here!

EDIT: You can find part two of this au here!

In canon, we know that Uther had children drowned for using magic, and that most of those children were likely warlocks who were born with their magic. However, we also know that most people in Camelot believe that magic is a choice and that it's impossible for someone to be born with it, so how did Uther justify to his people both the existence of child warlocks and the killing of children for something that they had no control over?

Well, Uther utilized his propaganda to justify killing young warlocks. He found some ancient text that hypothesized that warlocks got their powers from being reborn demons, and he used those very shoddy sources to justify his actions.

He spun stories about how warlocks looked human, but weren't human at all. He told the people that while those warlock children might have looked like regular humans, they would grow into powerful demons that would hunt down regular humans and eat their souls to gain more power.

Uther's propaganda campaign was successful, and soon, warlocks were some of the most feared magical creatures in Camelot. The people were terrified at the thought of a beast that could consume souls and blend in among them, unable to detected until it was too late.

Warlocks were a regular element of the nightmares of all of the children in Camelot, who would jump at every shadow and wonder if it was a warlock, there to devour them. Arthur was among those children, lying awake late at night, trembling with fear at the thought of any person he passed on the street being a warlock who would eat his very soul, denying him any afterlife and instead turning his soul into more magical power for the warlock.

And fast forward to some point after Arthur's become king, Merlin has a pretty painless magic reveal. Arthur and the knights were out hunting, they all get ambushed by bandits, Arthur takes a bad hit that would probably be fatal, but Merlin rushes to his side and, without hesitation, uses magic to heal Arthur's wound.

Arthur was, of course, very upset to learn that his manservant and best friend has magic, and they have a big argument over it, but no one physically attacks anyone (despite Gwaine's threats to kill Arthur and the rest of the knights and run away with Merlin).

So, everyone endures a rather tense and awkward ride back to Camelot, where Merlin is the recipient of many irate glares from Arthur and reassuring looks from the knights. When they reach Camelot, Arthur bans Merlin from his presence until he calls for Merlin again. He says that he can't stand the sight of Merlin at the moment, but Merlin will owe him a full explanation later. Merlin tearfully agrees and holes himself up in Gaius's chambers for a few days, while Arthur makes an ass of himself with his foul mood, snapping at everyone in the castle.

The knights try to point out to Arthur that while, yes, Merlin had magic and had lied to Arthur, he had only revealed it to save Arthur's life. Most of the knights used that point as a tool to comfort Arthur and ease his temper, but Gwaine used that fact to rub it in Arthur's face how terrible of a person Arthur was being towards the man who had just saved his life.

Finally, after the whole castle had to suffer through five days of Arthur's prattish and unpleasant behavior, Arthur summoned Merlin to his chambers, feeling calm enough again to actually hear whatever nonsensical reasons Merlin would give for turning to magic.

You see, what Arthur, the knights, and pretty much everyone in the castle had assumed was that Merlin had probably just picked up on some small useful enchantments and healing spells for Gaius's old study of that material. Arthur was angry at Merlin for turning to magic, but he could understand where Merlin was coming from.

Everyone knew that Merlin cared about his friends to the point of idiocy, so it made logical sense that Merlin, since he had the resources available to him, would resort to learning healing magic in case of an emergency. Arthur understood that aspect of Merlin more than anyone else.

Knowing that Merlin's magic was probably just the result of him being a loving and caring idiot did help ease the blow for Arthur, and truthfully Arthur didn't plan on punishing Merlin at all. To Arthur, hopefully confining Merlin to his chambers for a few days would discourage any future stupidity along these lines, and they could put this entire situation behind them.

So, when Arthur summoned a distressingly pale Merlin to his chambers and demanded an explanation, he expected to receive some stuttered response about learning a few spells from some of Gaius's spare books and to extract a promise out of Merlin that he'd never turn to magic again, and then everything would be fine.

However, when a wrought looking Merlin opened his mouth to explain, Arthur's heart plummeted to the floor. At the very first words of Merlin's explanation, "I was born with it," Arthur's chest went cold, and he took a few staggering steps backwards until his back hit the cold wall behind him, his eyes seeking out his blade.

Merlin was born with magic. That made Merlin a... a...

"Warlock," Arthur whispered, his eyes teary and terrified all at once.

Merlin stopped his explanation and tilted his head at Arthur, a small grin pulling on his lips. Arthur flinched back slightly at the sight of it, unable to form a coherent thought beyond the all-encompassing terror, dread, and sorrow that swirled around his mind.

"Ah, so you do know the correct word for it then! Yes, I am technically a warlock, but the distinction doesn't really matter that much anyways."

Merlin made a dismissive gesture with his hand, as if his words hadn't just completely shattered Arthur's heart. Arthur couldn't even listen to the rest of Merlin's explanation through the rush of his heartbeat and breathing in his ears.

The terror gripping his heart shouted at him to fight or flee, don't just stand there waiting for him to decide that he's feeling peckish for souls!

Arthur suddenly registered the pallor of Merlin's skin and the hollowness of his cheeks and came to the awful conclusion that he doesn't have much time, Merlin's already hungry and Merlin was stepping closer there was no time to escape nonono!

Arthur closed his eyes, unable to look at what must have been Merlin unfurling whatever demonic jaws he kept hidden and preparing to eat Arthur's soul...

But the sensation of his soul being devoured, whatever that was supposed to feel like, never came. Instead, he just felt a hand on his forehead, and after a few seconds another one cupped the side of his face.

Arthur hesitantly opened his eyes, almost not wanting to look upon Merlin's happy, friendly face that had always brought nothing but comfort. He didn't want those caring eyes to be that last thing he saw before he died at Merlin's hand!

Slowly, Arthur steeled himself and blinked the tears from his eyes, willing to at least face his death like a true warrior, looking at it head-on.

But, as his vision cleared from the tears, Merlin didn't look like his death, or like any sort of soul-eating monster. He just looked like Merlin, and by god wasn't that the worst part of it?

Merlin slowly smiled at him as his tears dried, coaxing him away from the wall and towards his armchair by the fireplace. Merlin gently guided him over to chair and helped him into his seat, holding Arthur's hand the entire time.

Arthur, once he was sitting, looked over at Merlin, still holding onto his hand and whispering comforting words to him, and Arthur felt like a small, scared child again, freshly awoken from a nightmare and jumping at every shadow.

It took what must have been hours for Arthur to catch his breath, stop his tears, and cease his body's terrified trembling, and Merlin sat next to him the entire time, drying Arthur's tears and comforting him.

Eventually, Arthur looked Merlin in the eyes again, and he could find nothing in them but love and care.

Whatever Merlin was, however hungry he must have been after going five days without being able to hunt for souls to devour, he apparently didn't see Arthur as a target.

Arthur took a deep breath, maintaining eye contact with Merlin. Alright, Merlin might be a soul-eating demon straight out of Camelot's worst nightmares, but he saw Arthur as a friend, not a meal. Arthur... Arthur could work with that.

He just... he needed more information before doing anything else. Merlin was still looking at him with love and concern, and with each passing moment, Arthur became more and more convinced that Merlin was still Merlin, warlock or not. And damn it all, that still counted for something. It had to count for something.

Now that his fear was marginally under control, questions swirled around Arthur's head. How did Merlin even eat souls before this? How often did he need to eat? Did he need to also eat food, or did he sustain himself and his powers on souls alone?

Before he could ask Merlin any of the pressing questions that were on his mind, Merlin had already helped Arthur out of his chair and towards his bed, readying a limp Arthur for bed whilst the king was drowning in his own thoughts.

Before Arthur even knew it, Merlin was pulling blankets over him and snuffing out the candles in his room. Merlin promised to visit Arthur again in the morning to tell him more, and Arthur barely registered his words over the storm of his own thoughts.

When morning came, Arthur couldn't even tell if he had gotten any sleep throughout the night or not, but he woke up exhausted either way. Only a few minutes after the sun had risen, Merlin burst into the room, still looking paler than usual and helping himself to one of the sausages that was supposed to be a part of Arthur's breakfast.

Just the sight of Merlin eating anything made Arthur feel slightly queasy, imaging some terrified soul being devoured at Merlin's hands. Arthur took a deep, steadying breath before getting out of bed, allowing Merlin to dress him as he normally did.

Merlin, much to Arthur's relief, was still acting like nothing had changed, like he was still the same harmless Merlin that Arthur knew him as before yesterday.

If that was how Merlin wanted to act, then Arthur was fine with it. Truthfully, even with all of the questions that Arthur had surrounding Merlin's nature, he found that he didn't really want answers to any of them. Answers would make this new reality, one where Merlin was never harmless at all and where there was a demon hiding under his best friend's skin, real for Arthur. If Arthur didn't have any answers, then he could just... pretend that everything was still fine, like nothing was wrong.

To keep Merlin by his side, he would gladly accept ignorance and pretend like nothing had changed.

However, there was still one issue that Arthur needed an answer to, to confirm that Merlin was still the man who Arthur always thought him to be.

As Merlin was cleaning up Arthur's breakfast plate, Arthur cleared his throat, getting Merlin's attention. Merlin quickly turned around to meet Arthur's gaze, but Arthur didn't feel scared meeting his eyes this time.

"Merlin, I'm willing to let everything that was revealed yesterday be forgiven, and everything can go back to normal."

Merlin gave Arthur a beaming smile at his words, and Arthur continued with a solemn heart.

"However, there is one thing I need to know. You've never..."

Somehow, the words eaten the soul of an innocent person were so vile that they refused to pass Arthur's lips, so he chooses an alternative.

"... hurt anyone who didn't deserve it, right? And you never will in the future? If we are to have any sort of trust between us, you must answer me honestly"

Arthur figured that, if Merlin was indeed forced to eat souls to survive, Merlin was probably feeding on bandits or enemy soldiers that Arthur and the knights would've killed anyways. It was the only explanation, as innocent people didn't mysteriously turn up dead regularly enough in Camelot to indicate that Merlin was feeding on them, and Arthur knew, deep down, that no matter what he was, Merlin would never do such a thing.

Merlin froze at Arthur's words, his smile falling. He lowered his gaze briefly, before meeting Arthur's eyes once more, determination shining brightly in his eyes.

"Arthur, I swear to you, anyone whom I've hurt with my powers were enemies of Camelot. Whatever I've done, I did it to protect you and your subjects."

Arthur nodded, satisfied and relieved by Merlin's answer. Nothing had to change then, Merlin was still his friend and manservant, albeit with powerful magic and an appetite for the souls of his enemies. Arthur could... tolerate that.

As the weeks went on, Arthur found himself thinking about this new side to Merlin less and less. Merlin was still acting exactly as himself, so there was no reason for Arthur to worry, let alone dwell on any thoughts of warlocks.

(And if he had a familiar nightmare from his childhood featuring a warlock, then that was Arthur's business and Arthur's business alone.)

Everything was fine, and months passed without any incidents. That was, however, until Arthur noticed Merlin becoming paler, his cheeks hollowing out again, and his eyes sporting heavy bags. As he took in the changes in Merlin over the past few days, he came to the sickening conclusion: Merlin was getting hungry again, and would need a soul to eat soon.

But Camelot was at peace, there were noticeably less bandits roaming the streets in the past year, and no assassins had come to the castle in the past months. Arthur could see that Merlin's usual... hunting grounds... had been drying up, and he needed to find a solution immediately. Arthur shivered at the thought of what devastation Merlin would unintentionally bring down upon all of them if his hunger ever got out of control.

After several hours of brainstorming on Arthur's part, he finally had an idea. It sickened him to have to consider, but he would do what he had to for the sake of Camelot.

Arthur called for Merlin to follow him as he made his way into the dungeons, where only one prisoner was currently being held. The prisoner was a minor noble who had killed several of his own servants and then used his status as a member of the nobility to cover up his involvement in the murders.

However, the nobleman was sloppy, and there was evidence left behind that proved his guilt without a doubt. He was set to be hanged for his crimes in two days time, as per Arthur's own judgement at the noble's trial, but... if he was going to be executed anyways... perhaps his death may be of use.

(What Arthur didn't know was that the real reason why Merlin looked so exhausted was because Merlin had spent every night for the past week searching for and compiling evidence that the nobleman was behind the murders, as the bastard would've gotten away with it otherwise.)

To Arthur, the criminal's death could be used to ensure that Camelot's only source of magical protection (and Arthur's best and dearest friend) didn't starve to death or go into a hunger-induced rampage, whichever came first.

Slowly, Arthur made his way to the nobleman's cell with Merlin trailing after him, where the criminal was bound to a chair on Arthur's orders. Arthur solemnly opened the door to the cell, gesturing for Merlin to follow him inside.

As soon as Arthur set foot in the cell, the nobleman started begging him for mercy, pleading with him to lower his sentence, not knowing what punishment Arthur truly had in mind for him. Ignoring the soon-to-be dead man, Arthur turned towards Merlin, who was startled by Arthur's intense stare.

"Arthur? What's going on?"

"Merlin," Arthur choked out, his voice rough with guilt, sorrow, and fear alike. Merlin rushed to Arthur's side at the sound, trying to urge him out of the cell, away from whatever issue was causing Arthur such pain.

Standing firm, Arthur cleared his throat.

"Merlin, I need you to... to do something for me."

Concern marred Merlin features as he reached out to Arthur.

"Of course, I would do anything for you Arthur."

Arthur swallowed roughly, trying to force his next words out of his throat. He'd ordered executions before, hell, he'd even ordered this man's execution before, but this was much, much harder than any of the other orders he'd given.

"Merlin, I need you to... take care of this man, as you normally do for enemies of Camelot."

Merlin reeled back with shock, looking somewhere between confused and hurt.

"Arthur, you can't possibly mean for me to..."

"I'm sorry, but yes Merlin, it needs to be done."

Merlin stared at Arthur for a few more moments, before slowly nodding his head and turning towards the bound criminal.

As Merlin stepped closer to the doomed noble, Arthur closed his eyes and turned his head away. Perhaps it was cowardice, but if there were ever a time for Arthur to show such cowardly behavior, it was here. He didn't want to see this part of Merlin.

He did, however, hear everything. There was a scream from the criminal, which was sickeningly cut off by a loud wet crunch that echoes off of the cell's walls, and then there was no sound in the cell except a very loud silence.

Arthur slowly opened his eyes to the sight of Merlin standing in front of a corpse and tried to believe that everything was still normal.

And that's a wrap on this au! Man, that got darker than I expected it to be.

Be sure to let me know if you'd like a continuation of this au!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

[cuteandhughesy]

Ceilings | Luke Hughes (instagram edit)

summary: you and luke finally know your true feelings for one another and now you are free to post and express that love through your instagrams

warnings: none <3

face claims: lola tung (y/n) & rain spencer (ariana)

a/n: this was one of the first fics I ever wrote and bringing the character to life was so fun.

link to ceilings

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

liked by arianabrown, lhughes_06 and others

yourusername the playoff run continues 💙

tagged arianabrown & umichhockey

comments

user1 goals

user2 the cutest girl

arianabrown you are my queen. I bow to you

yourusername love u sm

arianabrown I can still here that chant in my head

yourusername no bc I was just humming it and didn’t realize 💀

user3 to be at a michigan hockey game 😩

user4 😍😍

user5 need those pants immediately

lhughes_06 🍑

yourusername love a good peach

user6 future wag watching her future superstar bf

rutgermcgroarty where’s my pic? I don’t see it

arianabrown don’t start

liked by markestapa, edwards.73 and others

arianabrown your favs

tagged yourusername, lhughes_06, markestapa, edwards.73 & dylanduke25

comments

markestapa you look so pretty hunny

arianabrown 😘😘 was thinking the same about you

user1 obsessed with this

user2 ethan 😍😍😍

user3 the icons of uomich

yourusername omg stop look at us

edwards.73 goats

user4 the prettiest girls

user5 luke baby that’s not your angle

yourusername HA 💀

liked by adamfantilli, arianabrown and others

yourusername last week of my third year 💙✌🏻 summer couldn’t come any quicker

tagged lhughes_06

comments

edwards.73 not the football game…

edwards.73 not you switching up

yourusername i’m so done with you

user1 the vibes are immaculate

user2 so pretty without even trying

user3 to be on luke hughes shoulders 🥲

markestapa thank god the scooter pic sees the light of day

yourusername it’s TOO good

user4 hello the scooter picture 💀

user5 so stunning

lhughes_06 that library has seen so much… 🫣

user4 WHAT DOES THIS MEAN LUCAS

user6 the real celeb at michigan

arianabrown can’t wait for summa !

liked by jackhughes, arianabrown and others

yourusername summer dump 💌 so in love with you

tagged lhughes_06, jackhughes, edwards.73, dylanduke25 & markestapa

comments

arianabrown i’m so obsessed with you

user1 play that should be me by justin bieber

user2 the KISS DUDE IM PASSING OUT 🥹

rutgermcgroarty that ice cream looks fab

markestapa too bad you didn’t come you could’ve had some

rutgermcgroarty shut up

user3 living for the summer reunion pic

jackhughes should’ve included my mean swing

lhughes_06 too bad you don’t have a mean swing

user4 your smile is perfect

user5 you two are so perfect together

user6 luke on the jetski is sending me

lhughes_06 so in love with you

liked by yourusername, _quinnhughes and others

lhughes_06 summer of a lifetime 🤍

tagged yourusername, jackhughes & _quinnhughes

comments

user1 you better know how to fight luke im gunna take your girl

user2 my favs

yourusername omg 😆

user3 THE CURLS

user4 biggest simp in jersey

user5 the kiss….on the cheek….im done. when is it my turn ? 😅

jackhughes i’m suprised you didn’t post a whole collage of just y/n

edwards.73 me too tbh

user6 i love you

liked by arianabrown, lhughes_06 and others

yourusername gonna miss this ☀️

comments

user1 beautiful

user2 you’re actually perfect

lhughes_06 baby you’re so cute

edwards.73 how come you never say this to me?

user3 😍😍

user4 oh so you’re perfect

user5 gorgeous

arianabrown YES BITCH SERVE FACE

liked by rutgermcgroarty, lhughes_06 and others

yourusername made it to jersey 🪻🤍👹

tagged lhughes06 & arianabrown

comments

arianabrown you’ve never looked more beautiful

njdevils we loved having you

user1 YESS IVE BEEN WAITING

user2 wag alert

user3 that first picture omg stunning 😍

jackhughes still thinking about those pastries honestly

arianabrown so real I dream of them

user4 photo dump of the century

user5 there’s nobody to talk about this with

user6 the life I crave

lhughes_06 ❤️

liked by jacob_truscott20, lhughes_06 and others

yourusername life recently: work, ariana, and missing my boyfriend

tagged arianabrown & lhughes_06

comments

user1 serving tho

umichhockey we miss your bf too 😭

user2 you’re so pretty

user3 the difference in shoe size….

edwards.73 luke 😍💦

yourusername there are kids on this app.

user4 if luke can pull her….ww all have hope

user3 luke’s hot wdym

arianabrown stop why do I look so concerned yet so content

user5 my favs

user6 🤩🤩

liked by markestapa, jackhughes and others

yourusername happy anniversary love 💗

tagged lhughes_06

comments

user1 happy anniversary to the king and queen

markestapa it’s felt like an eternity

yourusername is that a diss ?

markestapa definitely

user2 stop i’m in love with you both

user3 the perfect couple

user4 ❤️

lhughes_06 forever

user1 okay edward cullen 😩

user5 luke has never looked happier

arianabrown MOTHER AND FATHER

edwards.73 mark are you gunna let this slide? I thought she only called you daddy

markestapa 🫣

arianabrown STOP

liked by kayleighdocherty_, arianabrown and others

lhughes_06 1 year with you ❤️

tagged yourusername

comments

user1 no i’m fine 😭

user2 stop this is so cute

user3 oh yall in love love

yourusername and many more 🥰

arianabrown she’s so cute

user4 king shit

user5 men take notes !

user6 happy anniversary

jackhughes baby bro so in love 😎

rutgermcgroarty I mean…you’re welcome

yourusername rutger.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

a/n: not spell checked 🤪 make sure you check out the rest of the published insta edits for my fics and stay tuned for the upcoming ones 🤍

I do not own any of these photos - full credits to original owners.

[sweeterthanficstion]

— coast2coast (pt. one) || l.s.k

pairing: life guard!leon kennedy x surfer!fem!reader

tags: surfing au! set in malibu, 1998, i wrote this with re2 leon in mind but re4 leon works too, featuring claire (and chris in later parts!), UNEDITED!! so far only fluff (unheard of...) i'll add as i go!

oh actually, my shitty attempt at knowing anything about surfing despite learning everything through youtube, google and malibu rising by taylor jenkins reid (what started this whole thing). i am NAWT a pro --- so if any of you guys actually know a thing or two abt surfing hit me up!!! i'd love to learn more!

summary: Summer is a fickle thing, sticky-sweet and fleeting, gone before you're ready. You've learnt to love it while it lasts. For you, every summer has been the same—surf, sand, salt-water tides and the hot Malibu breeze. But this summer brings a new sort of challenge, a spotlight your not so sure you're ready for, as well as a boy with golden hair, eyes as blue as the waves, and a way of making your heart rattle between your ribs like it’s desperate to break free.

word count: 2.6k

a/n: AHH HI! i'm so excited to post this one!! it's currently summer here in australia and i've been down at the beach nearly every weekend, so it was only inevitable that my fixation on surfer!leon came back full force. i have this big story all set up in my head, but i was too excited to wait to finish writing it so i'm posting it in parts!! ++ oh also i had no idea corral beach was an actual place in malibu so my version is fictionalised. just. take everything in this fic with a grain of salt i have no idea what im doing lol

i also thought it'd be really fun idea since i'm so busy nowadays, that if you guys are interested at all, you can send in little ideas for blurbs for surfer!leon, and i'd love to write them! i'll figure out ways to fit them into the story, just as little extras, but obviously no promises on writing all of them!! i'll likely just pick the ones i think fit best into the plot. i just think that'd be AWESOME!! <3

playlist⭑masterlist⭑AO3 ⭑ series masterlist⭑next part (coming soon)

California is exactly how you’d left it. Exactly how you remember it. Nothing has changed between the sand beneath your toes and the palm trees lining the scorching hot tar roads, their shadows stretching long and thin like sleepy cats in the afternoon sun. The salt-kissed air wraps around you, sticky and warm, a gentle reminder that time moves slower here. Or maybe it doesn’t move at all. 

That’s the thing about California. A time capsule—sun, sand and sky.

June, July, August, Summer melts in your mouth like a sticky popsicle, one into the next, so quick you forget what it tastes like before it’s even passed.

No matter where you are in the world, what waves you're chasing, whether it be in Oceania, the Pacific, the Atlantic, summer melts, fickle and eager.

You’ve learnt to love it while it lasts.

“Another fish and chips!” One of the waitress staff calls from the front—Bunny’s Seafood Diner has been around for as long as you can remember, a weathered little gem perched off the coast of Corral Beach, Malibu. A quick and convenient right turn off the PCH, it’s a lighthouse for road-tripping families and sunburned surfers chasing their next ride.

You flip the fryer around your wrist with a practised flourish, “On it!” You call back, before you dip the metal back in the bubbling oil, the familiar sizzle of golden fries accompanying the bustle of the late afternoon rush. The kitchen smells of salt and grease and the faint tang of fresh-caught fish, a scent so familiar it clings to your skin like a second layer.

Claire breezes past with lazy grace, bumping her hip against yours. “Heading to the surf after?” she asks, her grin as wide as the beach outside, like her mouth was made for holding sweet oranges on hot summer days. She’s balancing a seafood basket in one hand and a plate of fries in the other, weaving through the bustle with the ease of someone who’s done it a thousand times before.

“How’s the forecast looking?” You ask back instead, tossing the crispy fries into a basket lined with deli paper. 

“High tide in twenty,” Claire winks over her shoulder at you, side-stepping a counter corner like it’s second nature. “It’s gonna be perfect.”

You can’t deny that does sound perfect. After a shift as long as the one you’ve worked today, a surf might be all you need to feel alive again. You look back up at the foggy old clock on the wall—ten minutes left, five if you can sweet-talk your manager. You end up counting the minutes in your head, that familiar itch to feel the sand under your feet and the sun on your skin insatiable. 

By the time the clock hits four, you’re halfway out the door, ready to trade the smell of fried seafood for the briny tang of the ocean instead. Claire is hot on your heels, boards tucked under both your arms as she chases you across the tar road that burns under your bare feet, down the splintering boardwalk, and onto the powdered-sugar sands of Corral Beach.

The sun has already dipped far past it’s zenith, and the world feels washed in gold. Golden rays stretch out across shimmering waters, painting streaks of honey over the horizon, the heat settling into a balmy hum that sticks to your skin in a way you can only love.

You follow the shaded path of sycamore trees until the beach opens up to surfer’s paradise—a long stretch of sand, waves that swell and crash, aching to be carved into by hungry surfers. The path curves past a weathered wooden bulletin board, been there as long as you can remember, and you think it might be older than Bunny’s, if that’s even possible. 

“Wait!” Claire stops in her tracks, and you are helpless but to comply. Your eyes stay glued longingly to the beach while Claire’s squint at the array of flyers pinned up—some faded, some fresh. There’s a yoga class, a missing dog poster, and the usual surf report stapled to the corner, its ink smudged from damp fingers. But her eyes zero in on something bright and bold and new. 

“Here we go.” She plucks a flyer off the board, turning it toward you like she’s struck gold. The words Corral Beach Annual Surf Comp are printed in big, blocky letters, accompanied by a grainy photo of a surfer carving into a wave.

“Oh, no,” you groan, already shaking your head.

“Oh, yes,” Claire says, a grin spreading across her face.

Claire’s been singing the same song since you were fifteen and cutting through waves better than most kids your age here on Corral Beach. That you should be out there winning trophies and medals and 10k cheques instead of cleaning out the back of the greasy old fryer’s in Bunny’s. 

“C’mon, you have to do it!” She bugs on, waving the flyer around like some magic wand. 

You laugh, ducking under her arm as she tries to push it into your face. “Claire, come on.”

“I’m serious!” she insists, jogging to catch up with you as you head toward the water. “You’re out here every day. You’ve got the moves, the skill—everything they’re looking for.”

It’s not like you haven’t thought about it. You’ve been surfing since before you could walk. You’d grown up right here on Corral Beach, knew these waves better than yourself. You’d watched your parents chase waves like it was their religion—Bali, Costa Rica, Australia, it was their entire life. Something they loved that was inevitable for you to love too. 

“I’m just not the competition type,” you shrug, gaze drifting out to the waves curling in the distance. It’s not that you don’t want to—well, okay, maybe it is. The idea of standing out there, under the scrutiny of judges, crowds, and strangers, feels about as foreign as the first time you stepped onto a board. Surfing, to you, is about as religious as it is to your parents. An outlet, an art form, the ocean calms your restless soul when you need it most. Putting a score to something like that just doesn’t feel right.

“You’re one of the best surfers out here.” Claire presses, she does it so effortlessly. Poking and prodding, always enough but never so much as to push you over the edge. “Half the people in those comps are just there for a shot at a new wetsuit.”

You meet Claire’s gaze, hesitate, the memory of your dad paddling out at dawn or your mom teaching you how to duck dive flickering in your mind. “It’s not about that. My parents taught me how to surf before they taught me how to say mom and dad. They’d enter comps now and then, but it was never about winning. It was about the waves, the adventure.”

“And you don’t think that’s in you too?” Claire asks, raising an eyebrow as she shields her eyes against the sun.

“Maybe it is,” you say finally. “But that’s their story, not mine.”

Claire’s gaze softens for all of a second before she snorts, shoving your shoulder with her own. “You’re so full of it. You’ve got more talent in your pinky than most people out there. Just think about it, okay? It could be fun.”

You do nothing of the sort.

The second your feet are in the water, you forget all about the comp, all about your job and any other worries on your mind. Salt water seems to have that sort of effect on you. Wasting no time, both you and Claire paddle past the surf, straddling your boards in the ocean, watching as the other surfers before you take off one by one with each new wave that rolls in.

It doesn't take long before the first wave in a gorgeous set comes in, Claire’s all but primed for it. She takes off, gets into position, and pops up on her board, carving into it like it’s breathing. You follow suit as the next one comes in, and just like that, you fall into the rhythm of the ocean.

Wave after wave, you don’t stop until the sun is cotton candy pink, purple, gold. Most of the other surfers have dispersed by now, and Claire’s traded shredding the bigger waves for wading through the calm waters with her back pressed against the flat of her board. 

You, on the other hand, feel like fate is decidedly on your side. You watch as another set rolls in, the first crashing just out of reach. It peels exactly as you’d hoped, slowly to the right, so when the next one rolls in right after, you paddle with it, catch the feeling of the tide underneath you, and like it's simply second nature, get to your feet.

This is where you feel most alive. There is not a second to spare for the other noise in your head, not about the past nor the future nor anything in between other than right here and now. Nothing but the instinctual insistence of how much longer can you stay on? How much longer can you keep your balance? Lean left, right, forward. Better, longer, more, more, more.

And when you’ve finally completed your balancing act, you dance up to the nose, hovering there on the tip of your board, arms out to steady yourself like sails catching wind, and then you close your eyes and let the crash of the wave topple you off.

It’s only once you’ve resurfaced, board nowhere to be seen, that you realise you didn’t feel the familiar tug of the leash around your ankle. By the time you drag yourself to shore, breath heavy and hair clinging to your face, you see it—the measly cord trailing behind you, frayed and snapped clean.

You huff a sigh, not surprised. It had been old crap for a while now. So had the board, but it carried enough summers in its scars to mean something. A history you weren’t quite ready to part with.

Claire’s already gathering her things by the time you meet her on the sand, shaking out her towel and tossing it into her worn tote bag.

“What happened to your board?” she asks, her tone casual, but her raised brow suggests she’s caught the fraying leash.

You lift your ankle and let the cord dangle, the sad state of it all the explanation she needs.

She winces, offering you a sympathetic smile. “Ouch. Guess it’s finally time for a new one?”

It’s only when you’re halfway up the beach that you spot it again. Your board? Your board!

It’s leaning lazily against the base of a lifeguard tower, looking as though it had simply wandered off and decided to wait for you all this while. Relief blooms in your chest, and you call to Claire that you’ll catch up.

It’s only when you’re closer that you notice him.

He’s standing by the lifeguard tower, a red rescue can slung casually over his shoulder. Blonde hair catches the light, tousled and damp like he’s been in the water himself. His broad shoulders are framed by the white-and-red uniform shirt that looks a little too crisp for someone who spends their day in the sun.

You can tell he’s new. There’s a hesitation in the way he stands, like he’s trying to look comfortable in a place he hasn’t quite claimed yet. But there’s something magnetic about him, the way he surveys the beach with quiet curiosity, like he’s soaking in every detail.

And you don’t mean to stare, but you’re caught in the moment, the way he looks like he belongs there despite it all, carved from the same sun and salt as the beach itself.

You’re still staring when his eyes meet yours.

They’re blue, impossibly so, the kind of blue that reminds you of the water when it’s so clear you can see straight to the bottom, the kind of blue you could fall into and forget how to breathe. His mouth quirks into a smile—easy, natural, like he’s been doing it all his life.

For a heartbeat, the world shifts, tilts ever so slightly, like the two of you are caught in some half-remembered dream. Something stirs in your chest, familiar yet unnameable, like déjà vu soaked in sunlight. You freeze, caught like a fish on a line, just before his eyes crinkle at the corners, and he lifts a hand in a casual wave.

“Hey,” he calls out, his voice carries over the sound of the waves, warm and low, and you think there’s a hint of the coast in it—just not this one.

You blink, salt-sticky and sun-drunk, realizing belatedly that you’re still rooted to the spot. “Hey,” you manage, shifting your weight on your feet.

He doesn’t move, but his attention is all yours now, quiet and steady, as though nothing else on the beach exists, like you’re the most interesting thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

“Nice ride out there,” he says, nodding toward the water, his voice dipped in easy admiration. “That last wave—you made it look easy.”

A laugh bubbles out of you, unplanned but genuine, a flush to your cheeks at the notion of being watched and noticed. You hope he mistakes it for sunburn. “Easy? You sure you weren’t watching someone else?”

“Nope,” he says, the smile widening just a fraction. “Definitely you. The board gave it away.” He says, nodding towards the board that’s still propped against the lifeguard tower like a loyal dog.

“Ah,” you say, realising. “So it was you.”

He shrugs, sweet and boyish in his sincerity. “Figured it deserved better than drifting out to sea.”

You glance down at your battered shortboard, the paint long faded from years of sun and surf. The edges are chipped, and the wax is uneven, but it feels like a part of you. “Thanks,” you say, meaning it. “Guess I owe you one.”

And before you can really think it through, the words escape you all at once. “You surf?”

“Not like that,” he hums, tilting his head toward the waves. Not like you. “Still trying to figure out how to make it look as easy.”

“That’s how it starts,” you say, a grin pulling at your lips despite yourself. “You’ll get there.”

He shrugs, a bit sheepish. “We’ll see. I’m mostly here for this,” he hefts the rescue can with a crooked smile. “Started lifeguard training last week. Figured I’d better get to know the locals.”

“Locals, huh?” You arch a brow, a subtle quirk to your lips. “And I’m one of those?”

“Definitely,” he grins, his voice sure now, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’ve got that look.”

“What look?”

“Like this is where you belong.”

The words hang in the air, sweet and sticky like the heat of the day. For a moment, you don’t know what to say.

“Well,” you manage, recovering with a nod toward the tower. “Welcome to Corral Beach. Try not to let it chew you up and spit you out.”

He laughs then, and it’s warm, golden—like sunlight filtering through the trees. “I’ll do my best.”

He steps back, making space for you to collect your board, though his gaze lingers, like he’s reluctant to go but knows he should. 

“See you around?” he asks, the question carrying a hopeful edge.

“Maybe,” you say, the word feeling light and easy as you turn toward the parking lot.

You don’t look back, but you feel his eyes linger, and it leaves a quiet sort of thrill in your chest, like the first rush of catching a wave.

likes n reblogs r very much appreciated <3

[certifiedcoffeeaddict]

do i Look normal about them

for the sake of the joke, we're ignoring the whole okiya subaru | akai shuichi | kudou yusaku | edogawa conan | kudou shinichi ordeal that episode 781 had going on, okay. that's just furuya coming to akai to file another complaint.

og posts are linked below the cut !!

otpbutmakeitspicy with i suffer from 'men are hotter banged up' disease (preach)

whatsappauntie with ever since i was a little girl i think might have been deleted since the link and qrts dont work

H1TWOM4N with punished for my jests (+1 for the image)

fic tagged as "trust me" i say as i drive backwards (fandom: spiderman)

link to drug dealer? no man. hug dealer. come here (via me because i don't know what rb etiquette there is)

clouis-loumentine with what is a rival (again, sorry, via me because the link doesn't work ??)

ft-an with called you bro but im kinda in love with you

teaboot with the found family

theft etc is from a fic i wrote. the title was not chose intentionally and it's not even for dcmk (actually 'i wrote' is a lie. its an abandoned little child, oops)

jessecase with the extreme cold alert with the recommendation to check up on your local elderly fbi agent

oate and the ongoing argument

[scoobydoodean]

how much do you think chuck was actually affecting the movement of the plot throughout the series?

personally, i think he was just observing them from season 6 to season 10, but then he actually had to get involved upon amara’s return. and i do like the theory that he was responsible for the “vision” that cas thought he saw from jack, and that he kinda let mary get killed after cas’s prayer in 14x17, before again becoming fully involved throughout season 15. but for the other seasons 1-5, most of 12-14, and really for the overall universe, idk how much can, or should, be ascribed to chuck’s machinations. like i can never decide which route would be most satisfying for me as a viewer, and so i’m just curious as to what your opinion might be :)

Jack visions theory

Probably helps just to say starting off for anyone who might be coming from a different perspective, that my own understanding of Chuck's machinations in Supernatural (at least when it comes to Sam, Dean, and Cas) do not involve directly violating their free will. Chuck's machinations involve shaping the experiences around our characters to convince them to make the choices Chuck wants them to make. For example, when Dean tosses the gun aside in 14.20 and refuses to kill Jack, Chuck shouts "Do it!" instead of putting some kind of mind whammy on Dean that makes him kill Jack because Chuck either can't do that or won't do it because it wouldn't get him off. Chuck needs Dean to do what Chuck wants him to do (kill Jack) because Dean was brought to a point psychologically where he chose it. The same thing is true of Sam in season 4. The demons or the angels or Chuck don't operate Sam like a robot—they slowly convince him to take one turn after another based on the psychological state he's in, the things happening around him, and the things being whispered in his ears until he's killing Lilith and Lucifer's cage is opening, and Ruby says,

No. It wasn't the blood. It was you... and your choices. I just gave you the options, and you chose the right path every time. You didn't need the feather to fly, you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo! I know it's hard to see it now... but this is a miracle. So long coming. Everything Azazel did, and Lilith did. Just to get you here. And you were the only one who could do it.

I refer to Chuck's influence on the narrative as causality rather than fate. I have a tag for this called #spn and causality. 4.18 goes to great lengths to show how difficult it can be to subvert causality. For example, Dean tries to defy the writing by moving himself and Sam to a different hotel than Chuck wrote them to be in, but the motel's neon sign goes out, causing the name of their motel to "change" to "The Red Motel"—the motel Chuck wrote. ("No matter what details you alter, we will always end up here" etc etc). However, this episode goes on to show that it is possible to leap out of causality's flow. Chuck's control of the narrative ultimately works via anticipation. If he can anticipate his creations choices, his writing realigns everything with the narrative. If they do something he is unable to anticipate? They can leap out of his narrative just long enough to make a difference.

How do they leap out of causality's flow? Two things together: Dean and Cas. Quoting myself here in this post:

Leaping out of causality is something Dean and Cas do together in 4.18, 4.22, and 5.22. In 4.18, Dean pleads with Cas to help him save Sam, even though Cas thinks what’s going to happen is fate and can’t be subverted. Cas doesn’t personally act, but he gives Dean the idea that Dean then executes, leading Chuck to say “What are you doing here? I didn’t write this.” In 4.22, Dean pleads with Cas again. They again fight about the inescapability of destiny. This time, it’s Dean’s pleading but Cas’s actions—flying Dean out of the green room (somewhere Dean is incapable of escaping from on his own). Chuck says when they pop into his house, “Wait. T-t-this isn’t supposed to happen” and then “Yeah, but you guys aren’t supposed to be there. You’re not in this story”. In 5.22, after Lucifer takes Sam over (something that was foretold to happen in Detroit), Cas and Bobby despair, but Dean refuses to give up and calls Chuck, who says, “Oh, uh, Dean. Uh, wow. I, uh, I didn’t know that you’d call.” Then Dean goes to Stull Cemetery alone. However, the moment that Michael begins to walk up on Dean and says, “You little maggot. You are no longer a part of this story!” Guess who suddenly appears with a holy oil Molotov cocktail?

Dean and Cas are something Chuck seems to have a lot of trouble anticipating. I think this is true both individually and as a unit. Individually, Dean is the narrative heart, to an extent that his capacity for love is always exceeding the bounds that Chuck anticipates, leading to confounding leaps like showing up at Stull in "Swan Song" and dropping the gun in "Moriah" and saving the world with the power of love in 11.23. Dean in turn pleads with Cas with that heart, and Cas is angel with a crack in his chassis straight of the line. Naomi/Chuck cannot get Cas to do what he's "supposed" to do no matter how many times he's reprogrammed. He has Loving Dean Winchester/Humanity (same thing) Disease and it's incurable no matter how many lobotomies are attempted.

In the season 1-5 setting, Chuck is actually fairly hands off despite all of this being his prophecy foretold. He told the archangels that everything would end with Sam and Dean as the vessels for Lucifer and Michael (5.08) and Lucifer passed these stories on to his princes, and the angels and demons brought that prophecy to fruition—including with deliberate meddling in the Winchester/Campbell bloodline (5.13, 5.14). Heaven and hell act as Chuck's hands and feet, carrying out his plan out of desire and (in some cases) religious fanaticism. Because Chuck's so painstakingly worked on this narrative and everything is set up in advance, he can just watch it play out. When he interferes directly, it's actually to give Team Free Will a better shot at subverting him. Chuck only directly interferes in

4.22/5.01 to transport Sam and Dean to the plane, un-demon blood Sam, and resurrect Cas

5.22 to resurrect Cas again

All that said, I think season 1-5 is the original Chuck canon, which is subverted by Team Free Will working together, and most specifically, by Dean and Cas interfering in ways Chuck did not anticipate. And Chuck was fine with this. His narration at the end of "Swan Song" reveals that he's pleased, even if the story turned in a direction he didn't anticipate (maybe the Michael and Lucifer story started to bore him—they bore me, and him wanting Sam and Dean to mirror them so rigidly was rather uninspired).

I get the sense that Cas is probably a good litmus test for whether Chuck's entertained or not by the story subverting his expectations, because Cas is not "supposed" to be a part of the original story, but Chuck keeps bringing him back anyway. And yet, somewhere down the road, Cas falls wildly out of favor with Chuck, and Chuck is hurling rage at him for never doing as told—the very thing he seemed to like about Cas at first.

Maybe I'll see things that will make me change my mind as I work through seasons 7-10, but so far, I agree with you that season 6-10 seems to be a mostly "hands off" period, with Chuck only arguably interfering once, to bring Cas back a third time in season 7, depending on how seriously/literally you take Daphne's recollection of events in 7.17:

EMMANUEL/CASTIEL A few months ago, she was hiking by the river, and I wandered into her path, drenched and confused, and... unclothed. I had no memory. She said... God wanted her to find me.

It's not necessarily clear exactly where Chuck loses interest (or if for example, Cas might fall out of favor with Chuck before Sam and Dean do). Chuck shows up in season 10's "Fan Fiction" to see a play of his work, so he was clearly feeling fond enough to celebrate his handiwork in an very non-prestigious but intimate setting. But when Chuck shows up in season 11's "Don't Call Me Shurley", he talks to Metatron about traveling (to his other universes, perhaps?). Chuck's writing his memoir, and Metatron claims it's full of self-doubt and nebbishness. Chuck's apathy jumps out to Metraton quick too. Metatron criticizes Chuck for writing only two paragraphs on the archangels in his memoir, lending to the notion that Chuck had come to a point where they bored him. Metraton tries to remind him that Lucifer was his favorite because he rebelled, but Chuck then denies that Lucifer was ever even his favorite! He doesn't like this rebellion thing so much anymore... which might also tip his hand as far as how he's beginning to feel about Team Free Will. I think it's likely that Amara is the catalyst for his change of heart, but I'll have to wait until I circle back to season 11 to have a fully formed conclusion on this.

Then we get seasons 12-15 where—at least arguably—Chuck begins planting the seeds for a new final ending, trying to force Dean into the role of Michael—the son so loyal to him that he killed his own brother. The problem is that Dean's never really been like Michael, and that's the whole reason season 5 never worked. It's also the reason "Moriah" doesn't work. Lilith claims in season 15 that Chuck has a creepy obsession with Dean—Dean specifically. Dean whose loyal love fills Lucifer with such seething jealousy in "Swan Song" that he loses control of Sam's body just as Dean's pleading brings Sam's consciousness to the surface to fight. That same loving heart thaws Amara toward Chuck in 11.23, and I think Chuck... decides that he does not like this. It is something beyond his capacity to express or to anticipate and write around. It is transformative, causality-defying love, that ruined his original ending (and he's BORED and TIRED). And has given Cas Winchester Derangement Syndrome so he can't be controlled. He decides that he hates Dean Winchester's heart, and he tries to obliterate it out of existence and force Dean into the Michael role once and for all.

[legendary-69420]

☆o( F1 drivers shipping Mark and Charles in the groupchat )o☆

warnings : none a/n : This is not the part of my story racing hearts but is another AU for my character. Hope you enjoy it.

______________________________________________________________ Group Chat Chaos: Max, Lewis, Yuki, and Lando Hyping Up the "Markles" Ship

🏎️ Group Chat Name: "F1 Clownery HQ" 🏎️

Lando: Yo. Lando: Did anyone else see the look Charles gave Mark today after he crossed the finish line? 👀 Yuki: LOOK? Bro, that was a stare. Man looked like he wanted to frame it and hang it on his wall. Max: I thought he was about to propose right there on the podium. Lewis: “Will you be my teammate forever?” 😭💀

Mark: I can see everything y’all are saying. Y’know that, right? Yuki: Oh, hey Mark 👋. How’s your boyfriend doing? Mark: I hate every single one of you. Max: You don’t, though. You love us. And we love you and Charles 💕. Lewis: Tell Charles I said hi. Actually, no. Tell him to stop looking at you like he’s in a romcom montage. Mark: HE DOESN’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. Yuki: Bro. My guy. He does. The whole paddock sees it.

15 minutes later...

Charles: Qu'est-ce que je vois ici? (What am I seeing here?) Yuki: Oop. 🚪🚶 Lando: THIS IS A PRIVATE DISCUSSION SIR. LEAVE. Charles: Is it though? If you’re talking about me, I have the right to be present. Lewis: You’re only proving our point, bro. Max: Facts. “If you’re talking about me, I have the right to be present.” Tell that to the wedding vows, lover boy. Charles: You’re all clowns. Mark: FINALLY, some sense in this group. Charles: Except for you, Mark. You’re the king of the clowns. 👑🤡 Lando: “King of the clowns” but somehow still your prince charming. Yuki: OHHH BURN. LANDO WINS THIS ROUND.

Post-Race Chaos

Max: So, Charles. Quick question. Charles: No. Yuki: You don’t even know the question yet! Lewis: He knows. We all know. Max: But for real. Be honest. Do you look at Mark like that on purpose, or is it just your natural instinct to simp? Charles: I don’t simp. Mark: He doesn’t. Lando: BFFR (be for real). This man would throw himself in front of a Red Bull just to protect you. Lewis: ^^^^ and he would apologize to the car for denting it. Max: Bro would be like, "Sorry Max, I didn’t mean to block your fastest lap. I just had to make sure Mark’s hair stayed perfect."

The Accidental "Launch"

Lando: Ahem Gentlemen. Lando: What do we have here? screenshot of Mark accidentally using Charles as a human pillow Max: Bruh, tell me why I saw this and immediately thought "marriage goals." Yuki: NOT THE NAP PICTURE. OH IT’S OVER FOR YOU, MARKLES. Lewis: Bro, at this point, just announce it. Stop soft-launching your relationship with “casual” public affection. Mark: It’s called being friends, Lewis. Max: Name ONE other “friend” you’ve ever slept on like that. Yuki: I’ll wait. Lando: I'LL WAIT. Mark: Y’all are actually the worst. Charles: No. The worst would be Mark constantly calling me his “teammate” like I didn’t just lend him my hoodie last week. Lewis: OH? 😏 Max: THE HOODIE. THE HOODIE. Lando: Boys, this is it. This is the moment. Get the cameras rolling. Yuki: Hoodie lending? I hate to break it to you, but that’s love language level 200.

Late-Night Chaos

Lando: Anyone still up? Yuki: Always. Max: Sadly, yes. Why? Lando: Just wanted to know if anyone saw Charles’ new Insta story. Lewis: opens app Bro. He tagged Mark and wrote "My favorite distraction." Max: 💀💀💀 Yuki: SIR. AT THIS POINT, JUST SAY YOU’RE IN LOVE. Lando: He said that like it was casual. Like it wasn’t a whole confession. Mark: I hate all of you so much. Max: No you don’t, you love us. Lewis: Not as much as you love Charles, though. Yuki: LEWIS FOR THE WIN. Mark: This is cyberbullying. Charles: No, it’s accountability. You should’ve seen it coming.

Post-Holiday Mayhem

Lando: So y'all just gonna casually post matching pajamas like we're blind? Max: Bro, they looked like they were about to drop a holiday album. Yuki: I saw that and immediately knew what was up. "Just friends" wouldn’t wear matching red plaid pajamas with a fireplace in the background. Mark: THEY WERE A GIFT. Lewis: Uh-huh. And you "just so happened" to post the picture. Charles: I told him not to post it. Yuki: 🤨 THEN WHY IS IT POSTED, MR. LECLERC? Max: Curious. Very curious. Mark: I’m blocking all of you.

“Subtle” Hype During Media Interviews

Reporter: So, Charles, you and Mark seem to have gotten much closer this season. Charles (smirking): Yeah, I’d say we’re... very close. Reporter: Anything to say about the constant fan edits of the two of you? Charles: I’ve seen them. They’re… creative. Mark (off-screen): SAY YOU LOVE ME, CHARLES. Charles (grinning, blushing): Shut up, Mark. Yuki (watching the interview later): Man, this is better than reality TV. Lando: This is reality TV.

Group Chat Explodes (Again)

Max: HOLY. NEW SHIP EDIT JUST DROPPED. Lando: Which one? The one where Mark pulls Charles into that side-hug during the podium? Yuki: No no no, it’s the one where they do that stupid handshake thing before a race and Charles is staring at him like it’s a movie scene. Lewis: The one where they play the romantic piano music in the background? Max: YESSS. Lando: "Unspoken feelings," they called it. Yuki: And they’re right. Mark: I’m deleting Instagram.

This group chat is chaos incarnate. From teasing Mark for sleeping on Charles, to clowning Charles for "subtly" confessing in interviews, to Max, Lando, Yuki, and Lewis being the ultimate hype squad — this is peak friendship.

But no one hypes them up more than each other.

Mark: "I hate you all." Charles: "Love you too." Lando: "I KNEW IT!"

______________________________________________________________

[butchdiaz]

tagged by @iinryer to do a 2024 fic roundup but i'm adding my videos in too because. uh. its fun to look back! and i want to!

MARCH

american teenager (36s)

my first ever commission! for my best friend bia! to this day i hear do what you want (do more!) everytime i listen to this song.

APRIL

arms (1:02)

this was for seti. and it hurt.

good luck babe! (1:11)

literally never felt euphoria the same since the week of bi buck when i made this. changed the timeline. (although i was so euphoric and excited to post that i cropped in a rush and left a little white line in one of the shots and it pisses me off massively to this day. yes im a virgo thanks for asking)

to open up my arms and give it all to you (2.5k)

my little buck coming out to chris fic with hints of buddie <3 bi buck got me writing again after months of literal Nothing. god bless

one of your girls (3:09)

kirby's vision went OFF. so proud of this one like. its gotta be one of my favs and i feel like it became a bit of a butchdiaz classic which makes me so happy :D

MAY

kill her freak out (1:33)

this video is my little baby. ohhh samia. ouaagh eddie.

scared of my guitar (2:23)

shoutout to the way the dialogue syncs up in this one. rly satisfying to me hehehe. honestly didn't think i'd like this one as much as i do but she hits hard

promise (1:15)

love when people commission me to edit songs im already currently obsessing over yay!!!!!

JUNE

happy to be here (2:16)

julien baker. eddie diaz. aka abby had a mental breakdown making this one.

closed hands, full of friends (45s)

this was my first time editing a song i had Never heard beforehand! 3 cheers for finding new music!!

JULY

l'amour de ma vie (3:26)

ok not to toot my own horn but. this one is good. i feel like i really told a story u know. and about now is when i started to play around with fun/more intricate text ooh ooooh

a burning hill (1:01)

this prompt was designed in a lab to kill me specifically. i wanted to do the whole song originally but i like. could not go on.

my ego dies at the end (2:49)

i reallyyyy like this one. long edits my beloved! i love to build to something. i rewatch this one often tbh. jensen mcrae is everythinggg

AUGUST

north star (2:16)

again, had never heard this song b4 i got this prompt and it got me obsessed with this searows album. this edit makes me feel all soft. rly loved incorporating fleabag into it bc like. fleabag for life. shoutout summerofbuddie for the inspo

feels like (58s)

this song has been on my buddie playlist(s) forever so i was So excited to get this prompt. it was so fun to make something. not depressing and just like. fluffy. fun fact i hand drew all the hearts for this in ps and they were such a pain to work with but i really love how it turned out cause i'd never done anything like that before :')

pink balloon (2:29)

finally made a proper buck amv. after so many eddie ones it was actually nice to switch it up. felt re-inspired! also always so inspired by samia ugh. i am an eddiegirl literally to my bones tho so this was both v hard and v fun to make.

SEPTEMBER

"i want a divorce" / "it was a date" (2:19)

the buckshannon parallels ouuugughhh. this was one of those ones that haunted me so persistently i literally was forced to make it. saw hanna's post and then blacked out and i was posting this.

had a feeling i could be someone (3k)

+

leave tonight or live and die this way (1.1k)

dyke buddie!!!!!!!! these fics are sooooo near and dear to my heart. i love to make everyone wlw! i love to project my butchness onto my fav characters! wrote these so fast (for me) like writing has Never flown out of me like that. i was possessed by the spirit of lesbianism. and. GOD. the response to these fics also makes me want to cry daily. the beautiful art that was created?????? for me and my little fic?????????? i actually can't believe it i love you guys so much. lesbians forever and ever and ever.

did it to myself (1:11)

another one of my favs. i think it slaps so hard tbh. i tried a lot of new stuff and it was so FUN. orla's music is so much fun to edit to i need to do another one of her songs asap.

afraid of heights (2:46)

boygenius wrote this for my friend buck buckley. got entirely consumed by this one. thank u han for being my buckafraidofheights warrior for life <3

headlock (2:23)

i love buck but i remember coming back to making an eddie amv and breathing a sigh of relief. i just Get him. its so easy. this one's underrated i think oop it kinda slaps

OCTOBER

savior complex (3:16)

this one was a rly good challenge and idek why. super happy with how it turned out though i like watching it back

NOVEMBER

funeral bell (2:54)

the buck thesis statement. to me. and such a crazy unique process. loved working w kaitlin on this one and sending her 10 million drafts (she rly got a behind the scenes tour yall and it was not pretty). this was an absolute BEAST to make despite it not even being that complicated. i think i just cared so much about making it perfect for my dear friend who trusted me with her visions and inspiration and that made it all the more special!

you get your dreams for free (14.8k)

drunk cuddling!!!!!!!! my longest fic i've posted to date and i fully thought i was never gonna finish it. i abandoned this last YEAR but im SO glad i came back to it and most of the reason for that is because of the absolutely lovely responses to my earlier fics this year <3 literally hilarious to me that i originally wanted to post this on halloween 2023. abby. abby no.

surrender my heart! (1:30)

post-confessions euphoria + a carly rae jepsen prompt? i was literally in heaven. SURRENDER UR HEART EDDIEEEEEEEEE

DECEMBER

every place leads back to your place (2.1k)

music inspires me soooo much (looks up at this post. no way right.) so i absolutely loved writing based off a song! and a chappell song nonetheless!! so fun to twist a breakup song around to fit Them. i particularly love the kiss in this one <3

oldie's station (3:17)

phew we're almost there! this one is recent but lowkey it feels like another classic to me already. i really really like it. making it felt like cooking a three course meal and watching it kinda feels like eating one :D (thank god) (i spent so many hours in that kitchen)

letter to god (1974) (2:27)

+

letter to god (1983) (1:52)

putting these together bc they are sister songs and sister videos. first time in my life i've worked on two videos at once. it was fun because they kind of grew together and influenced each other very directly. not fun because i ran out of space and my laptop crashed. several times. these felt rly indulgent and raw. kind of shocking to me how perfect both songs feel for both of them. had a lot of fun messing with the voice/video filters to try and place these in their respective eras bc im obsessed with that aspect of the songs. halsey's artistry is crazy yall if u havent listened to her newest album GO. NOW.

the rush of slumber party kissing (3.2k)

posted this literally yesterday lol. also my first time writing smut. somehow. scary! but i did giggle all the way through writing this tbh. when buddie reveal their true nature as silly teenage girls >>>>>>>>>>

SPECIAL SHOUTOUT

fleabag au wip, who saw the light of day again this year. she could be finished in six months or six more years, but she Will be finished. im determined!

<3

ok if u read all that uh. wow congrats fhdhhdh im gonna get sappy for JUST A SEC now cause uh. im actually blown away by the support and love and appreciation this fandom has shown me this past year. you guys have given me so much confidence in my skills as both an editor and a writer and you also quite literally helped me pay my rent. by making videos about gay firefighters. its actually kind of mind blowing to me how lucky i am and i never want to take that for granted <3

to anyone who has commissioned me, or sent me a prompt, or left a comment on a fic, or a tag on a video, or sent me a kind ask, or subscribed to me, or followed me, or reblogged anything of mine this year: thank you.

im so grateful for this little community and all the friends and connections i have made through our collective insanity over a procedural drama on abc (neé fox). yall rock so hard.

<3

tagging @userbuddie @chronicowboy @confessionseddie @try-set-me-on-fire @userautumn @lovelettered @exhuastedpigeon @sibylsleaves @saryasy @team-118 @lemmeaskthedevil @eddiebabygirldiaz if u wanna do any sort of yearly roundup!

[majosullivan]

So I wrote a whole ass dissertation in the tags of your post (which will be posted in a couple of days bc I'm focusing on fundraisers rn) but I wanted to do another tangent here bc I'm sooooooooo mad that lenore very probably didn't kill annabel >:( like it would make only sense in a kind of double suicide situation Or in a "I'm killing us both to save us from our fate bc they just discovered that I'm a woman and they’re gonna lock us up and I want to save you from that, but I'm never gonna tell you making it Look like a betrayal" kind of way, but then it wouldn't work narratively bc then the story should have focused a lot more on Annabel's feeling of betrayal to have a big reveal moment where they explained what was actually going on. And that didn’t happen. Annabel was immediately hopelessly devoted to lenore so I think it wouldn't make sense.

BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO FUN!!!!!!!!!! STILL BEING DEVOTED TO THE ONE YOU LOVE BC YOU IMMEDIATELY UNDERSTAND WHY SHE KILLED YOU. OR EVEN IF YOU DON'T IT DOESN'T MATTER BC YOU TRUST HER ANYWAYYYYYYY WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALLLLLLLLLLL

Congrats on the childhood friend for killing them in the most homoerotic way possible. I guess. Fuck you. I hope you at least got to have a rage fueled duel with a lenore blinded by grief. Grrrrr

(I think he's the guy who killed them bc the fact that he was even mentioned and the fact that they spent so many speech bubbles on a guy who hasn't even appeared makes me suspicious. I think we have a full season that needs to be filled with flashbacks still and I think he's gonna meke his appearance. Motherfucker. Stupid chekhov's gun coded ass.)

Up until episode 91, I always kept going back and forth on theories surrounding the idea that Lenore was the one that killed Annabel. It is such an intriguing idea but there was always something that didn't sit right. It continually felt like every time there was a piece of evidence that could shift the scale to one side, there was always another piece that would balance things out for me.

Even if Lenore didn't kill Annabel though, it appears we're still getting a similar route to 'still being devoted to the one that killed you whether you understand the reason or not' from Annabel. After all, Merry did state how it was fascinating it was that despite every reason they have given to Annabel to make her distrust Lenore, her convictions have only deepened. It is difficult to say for certain if the memories shown in episode 91 are the only ones Annabel remembered when she manifested or if there were further ones we haven't been shown yet. Solely going on what was present to us though, Annabel had memories of her death triggered for her and remembered that this girl she met at Nevermore's shores and immediately felt some sort of connection was apparently was the one that murdered her and went 'despite what the Deans made me remember, I also remember how I feel about Lenore, and how I feel about Lenore tells me that no matter what truly happened, a second life without her would be pointless'. The Deans just weren’t prepared for the endless power of sapphic devotion.

You are so damn right that Annabel's childhood friend being such a Chekhov's gun coded character. While Ira is currently my main guess for the person that killed Annabel, the detail we are given about him in episode 42 makes him stand out in such a suspicious way.

It would be one thing if it was simple established that Ira had prepared a suitable suitor for Annabel if no one manages to beat her at chess by the end of her third social season. It helps set up a time frame for Lenore's plan to save Annabel and it establishes more of Ira’s character before we’re officially introduced to him. Him being someone Annabel used to play with when she was younger? Fine enough detail to add on. Makes sense that Ira would prepare a suitable backup suitor from a family he is familiar with/already has a good relationship with. However, stating how he has been defeated by Annabel multiple times and in Annabel word's 'is terribly persistent'? Now that immediately caught my eye. It is the perfect early detail to start building the foundation that this man could potentially start causing problems/get violent if the woman he has desperately been trying to win the hand of and who was so close to being promised to him got engaged to this somewhat suspicious 'man'.

Like I mentioned, it's hard to make a further case about him given that we haven't heard about him since, but every time I think through theories around Annabel's and Lenore's deaths, I keep coming back to him in some form because it feels like he has to have some role in the future, I just don't have anything to prove it yet.

If he is the one that shot Annabel, god hoping that Lenore was at least able to shoot him before she died (ideally in the dick but I'm not picky)

[delta-pavonis]

WIP Word Train + Tag Games

So I have gotten tagged a bunch of times in the past 40 days and I AM GOING TO RESPOND TO THEM ALL AT ONCE BWAAAHAHAHA. No, really, I have been a bit MIA from fandom, but I have been plugging away at a whole slew of fic across Dreamling, Jayvik, and Adrian/Olrox (Castlevania). There are going to be at least 5 WIPs represented here.

Rules for Word Train Game: tagger gives a word, then for each letter of that word you share a sentence/excerpt from your WIPs that start with that letter.

Rules for Tag Game: Post the last line that you wrote and tag someone for every word in that line.

Oh, and if you want to do this? CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED. Your word is BIRD. :D

First up, SMILE from the lovely @unpredictable-probabilities

S (How is this the hardest fucking letter to find what the fuck am I writing?!) From a Jayvik fic that started with a crazy idea that I posted about on BlueSky.

Sliding down the wet tiles to sit on the shower floor, Viktor wonders if he is going a little insane.

M From a future chapter of do i have to die to hear you miss me?

“Mmm, I don't remember any oaths in your daydreams of me that night.” Dream smirks as he sees Hob put the pieces together. “You could see… my daydr-,” his eyes widen, “Have you really known how I felt for that long?!” Then he blushes. “Oh, fuck, I think I remember some of the things I first fantasized about…” Dream stops Hob with a gentle kiss. “Sshhh. You thought nothing to be ashamed of.” He sucks at Hob’s bottom lip. “Actually, I think fucking you up against a wall is an inspired idea.” 

I From a WIP I don't know if I will every finish, but old mage Viktor goes back in time and talks to his younger self as another way to divert events into a better timeline. This is after the younger Viktor has taken his old self's advice.

If it wasn't for his partner’s strength Viktor would collapse to the floor in a heap. As it is, Jayce tilts his body to the side and pops up onto one knee, all while having a steel grip on Viktor's waist, so that he lands straddling Jayce's thigh.  Somehow their lips find each other immediately. It quickly becomes aggressive, more teeth than tongue, and Viktor slides his hand down Jayce's abdomen to the front of his pants and— The fine linen is soaked. And tacky.  Fuck. Jayce came in his pants sucking Viktor's cock. While hiding in the shadows of a door on a balcony outside some Piltie society party. And oh how that makes his spent dick twitch in interest.

L From the next chapter of ignition, my grad TA!Viktor/undergrad!Jayce fic.

Long fingers card into Jayce's wet hair and it helps ground him, makes him feel a little less like he is blurring at his edges.  “What do you want, miláčku? You can tell me.” Jayce buries his face into Viktor's neck and clutches at his waist.“I don't… it's hard to describe.” He concentrates on breathing. “I wish…” Another whimper, unbidden, as a wave of desire crashes into him again. “I want to touch you everywhere. I want to taste everything. I want to hear the different sounds that you make as I lick each and every inch of you. I want… I envy the water because of how it gets to learn every possible path over your body. I want to follow every drop with my tongue.”

E From a Dreamling+John Constantine fic that was borne of this Insta and @aralezinspace's pointing out that the first few lines I had written could be Keanu Reeves Constantine. Right now the WIP is just titled "Eiffel Tower of Hatred."

“Either you bid him come willingly or I go get him myself.” His voice booms around the room and Hob is half hard in his tiny shorts with how it vibrates the floor. “One of those options will be decidedly more pleasant.” Hob just stares at Dream for a moment and then shrugs helplessly. “Alright. I have no idea what you are losing your otherworldly shit about, but I will get him over here. And then you better explain what exactly is going on in that pretty eldritch head of yours.” He picks up his phone and dials. John answers on the second ring. “I’ll be disappointed if you are calling off tonight, sweetheart,” comes through the speaker. Hob pointedly ignores both the fact that Dream hissed again when John called him ‘sweetheart’ and the fact that it has only made him harder in his pants. “Requesting a change of venue. Can you come to my place? I’ve got an… issue… the needs working out. And it's better done here.”

__________________________________________ Next on deck, LENGTH from my darling @valeriianz

L Same Jayvik fic as the letter 'S' above...

Laughing breathlessly at his partner’s unabashed delight at being called ‘good’, he runs the fingers of one hand through Jayce’s hair. With the other, the one from which the panties still dangle, he cups Jayce’s jaw. “Yes. You did so well for me, Jayce. My dear, sweet pet. Would you like your reward?”

E Same Jayvik fic as the letter 'I' above, but a longer scene, because I really, really like this scene and I don't know if the rest of it will ever see the light of day. Takes place before the scene above.

Every instinct in his body wants to say no. He has absolutely no desire to be in front of any crowd, let alone that crowd. But then he remembers what himself-from-the-future said and swallows it all down. “Yes, we are.” Jayce had already started to walk away, anticipating his answer, and so wheels around to look at Viktor in stunned shock. “I will accompany you… as long as you don’t make me speak.” Very slowly Jayce lights up as he realizes what Viktor said. It is like staring into the dawn, bright and beautiful. And I caused that. Viktor feels warmth bloom in his chest. “Really? You will?” Viktor can't help but smile; Jayce’s unbridled joy makes him feel bold. “We’re not revealing the new hextech, so it isn't like I have anywhere else to be.” Jayce is still beaming at him. “Besides, you asked me.” The blush that colors Jayce’s cheeks makes the comparison to the dawn even more apt. The beauty brings Viktor to stillness when Jayce takes a step into his personal space. He looks up into that soft, glowing gaze and for a moment is absolutely convinced that Jayce is about to kiss him. But then his partner does something even more devastating. Jayce's hand finds Viktor’s wrist, the one not being used to help prop him up on the crutch, and slides down until he can tangle their fingers together. Viktor forgets how to breathe. “Partners,” he whispers, with a smile. Not looking away from Viktor, Jayce holds out his other hand. “Ms. Young, the speech please.”  Then, with a squeeze and a tug of their joined hands, Viktor finds himself being led onto the stage.

N From the upcoming chapter of wild horses:

“No.” Hob touches the side of Dream's face. “No doubt. I see it. I feel it. I hear it in your voice every night. I just don't understand why. How, when you could literally have anyone, you could possibly want me.”

G From a future chapter of do i have to die to hear you miss me?

“Gonna explore that,” he pants, more heavily than before, “later. Now, I want,” his teeth nip at Dream's skin, bright flashes of pleasure that spark down his spine and make him rut down into Hob. “To ride you.”

T From a sequel to you create me against your lips (aka Hellknight!Hob) inspired by this amazing art by @teejaystumbles

“The ruby was a vessel for some of my power. It held some of it apart from me.” He lets Hob process that himself. It only takes a moment for it to click. “And if I did the same… could I make myself powerless against you? For a short while?” “With only the ruby you could get most of the way back to how you were on that first night in the palace.” Dream gives in to his urges and nuzzles the collar, licks along the edge of it. That makes Hob writhe against him, hips rolling back, head tilting away to give better access. “And I could fashion a collar that could seal away the rest.”

H From the start of my almost-finished at close to 10k modern-day-setting-and-Netflix-canon-compliant Adrian/Olrox fic.

He rolls his head, straight black hair falling in a cascade to make an opaque curtain on one side of them, a way to prevent prying eyes. “Hello, little one,” the vampire purrs, curving forward again. He brushes their noses together and grins. “A club like this is not at all where I expected to meet you.” Olrox starts kissing along Adrian's jaw, down his neck, speaking in fits and spurts as he goes. “How many? Years? Has it been?”

__________________________________________ Last of the games from February, Last Line Tag from another author I fangirl for, @tj-dragonblade

You technically tagged me on February 21 and here is quite literally the last line I wrote on February 21, at 11:54pm. Viktor POV, from a Jayvik fic. Jayce is holding the edge of a drafting table.

He isn't going to let Jayce touch him until the poor thing has come at least twice, until his fingers ache from holding the edge so tightly.

__________________________________________ March brings me SMART, also from @tj-dragonblade

S Also from the next chapter of wild horses:

So Hob tries to extend himself some grace when, as he parks his bike in front of the four-car garage and makes his way up to the front door of the small mansion, he gets walloped with a wrecking ball of what is essentially sexual imposter syndrome.  “How the fuck did I get here?” He murmurs to himself, taking the walk slowly.  It isn't that he doesn't think he can sub in a proper scene—well, maybe it is a little of that—he just cannot get around the persistent ‘Why me?’ that runs in circles in his brain. Part of him is still waiting for the other shoe to drop; waiting for this insanely gorgeous, sexually talented, wickedly intelligent, and sharply witty person to look in a mirror and realize that he could walk into any bar in the entire country, point to a person, purr in that velvet rumble, ‘You. I am going to fuck you,’ and only the staunchest of aces and most determined of lesbians would be able to refuse him. 

M From another Jayvik WIP I might never finish, a crossover with Dreamling that was inspired by some excellent observations by @academicblorbo, which means Viktor is Daniel.

Morpheus hums in confirmation as he steps up beside him. “Your integration with the hexcore will make you uniquely qualified–you have experience managing and guiding great power.” “Not successfully, I would note. We had to destroy it.” “And yet you have no doubt learned a lot from the experience. That knowledge will not be lost when you become Dream. Further, you have walked a land without dreams and therefore know their importance.”

A More Adrian/Olrox, same WIP as above, set modern day.

Adrian watches as Olrox thumbs open the button of his pants and sits up on his knees; now Adrian has to tilt his face up to make eye contact. The club’s lights flash behind Olrox, and with the lights immediately above them dimmed he is haloed in beams of neon pink and yellow, his hair shot through with streaks of blues and greens. Fuck, it is no wonder he is the favored of a god—they no doubt couldn’t resist him either. 

R From the 'Eiffel Tower of Hatred' fic mentioned above. Italics are John Constantine on the phone.

“Right.” He still sounds like he doesn't believe Hob for shit. “Be there in twenty.” Then he hangs up. Hob sighs and throws the phone onto his bedside table. Then he grabs his robe off the hook on the inside of his bedroom door and covers himself up. And fuck him if when he doesn't look to Dream and see disappointment in his beautiful face.  What is happening right now?! “Dream, what is going on?” Hob sits on the edge of his bed and motions for his friend to sit next to him. “Not gonna lie, the Lord of Dreams being judgemental about something like this isn't what-” “I am not. Judging. You.” Well, at least his voice has simmered back down. He sits and stares pointedly forward, not looking at Hob. “Your fantasies are your own. I only.” In a decidedly human gesture, Dream takes a deep breath and Hob feels more adrift than ever. “While the matrilineal line of Constantines has been useful to me over the years, John is one in a long line of male Constantines who are a persistent thorn in my side. And that he would touch you like that despite my mark is-” “Excuse me?!” Hob jolts. “Your what?”

T From the upcoming chapter of wild horses:

“There you are,” Dream looks down at him with an affection that stokes a fire deep in Hob's belly. “Warmed up and pliable. Like clay. With your permission, I want to cleave into you in a way you haven't experienced before. I want to push and pull and stroke and pry until I find the core of you. Until I can touch it.” A chaste press of lips that lingers before he speaks again. “May I? Mold you to my will?”

__________________________________________ And last, but certainly not least, leader of all five of us still cheering on the Alurox ship, tagged me in a last line game @ifishouldvanish

Of course, you get the very last line I wrote from my Adrian/Olrox modern fic. This is Olrox speaking, almost 10k in. XD

“Suddenly I understand the current vernacular of saying that a man has a slutty waist.”

__________________________________________ Literally as I am wrapping up this post, @seiya-starsniper hits me with FANG and I just have to. XD

All from the Adrian/Olrox fic. All short to keep SOME of it not posted here. XD

F

Finally Olrox is fully seated and the vampire collapses back against Adrian, chest heaving. He brings a hand up and twines his fingers with Adrian's where they are pressed below his navel. 

A

Adrian looks down and sees Olrox's cock straining inside the confines of his pants, tilted to one side, lifting the top of the waistband off of his skin a little as it strains the vinyl. “Look how hard you are for me,” he whispers into Olrox's ear, “You think I could make you come like this? My hand on your throat and my cock filling you up and my voice in your ear?”

N

“Nngh,” it is like Olrox groans at Adrian asking him to think. “Perhaps they think they can fuck me better?” 

G

“Go on,” he holds Olrox’s gaze as he pulls the chain out from his belt loops with a loud metallic clattering. “Tell me.”

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: thisapplepielife! @thisapplepielife has 37 works posted to AO3 in the Stranger Things fandom and 24 of them are in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @thisapplepielife:

Tuesday's Gone With the Wind

Take the Money and Run

You Oughta Know

Never Not Mine

Let the Boy Be Merry

"They are my favorite Corroded Coffin writer. I found by accident their fic “Tuesday's Gone With the Wind” and loved everything they wrote since!" -- Anonymous

Below the cut, @thisapplepielife answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Steve Harrington. I found myself not connecting with S4 when it premiered, and decided that I probably just needed to rewatch the other three seasons again first, since it'd been a while between seasons. Well, Steve was always my favorite, but I left that re-watch with his voice fully lodged in my brain. So, I had to write something for him, just for myself. That was You Oughta Know. We all knew Eddie identified as a runner, and that just felt like the story to tell. Then somehow, for some unknown reason that I still cannot possibly explain, I decided to actually post it. I still don't know what possessed me to do that, honestly.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I love a good second chance fic: A divorced couple that eventually rekindles. A missed first chance that they get to take another crack at, later in life. I also like a good heartbreaker of a fic. I know, I know. Don't get me wrong, I still love happy endings, but I don't require them. Break my heart. Do it.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Slice of life? Is that considered a trope? I know I like to write about things we all deal with in real life, from the small and inconsequential: a mattress with a bad spring. The delight of clean sheets. Or the bigger: the real life heartbreak of unavoidable loss and grief.  And older Steddie is my favorite, I think. I love to spend time writing for them. These boys that turned into men, who made a full life together, and it's great. Maybe not perfect. But they wouldn't trade it for the world. That makes me happiest.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

The One in Which a Time Loop is Fucking Exhausting by badpancake is the one I think of that grabbed me first, and did not let go. I still need to read the final part of the trilogy! My fic TBR is so, so long because I definitely struggle with writing and reading at the same time. I know there is amazing work out there that I've just never read yet. But I look forward to it, absolutely. It's just something I've never figured out how to manage well. Joining Tumblr has helped that immensely, though! Reading the shorter fics here has been wonderful, and I've enjoyed it so much. There are amazing things being posted every single day! And I gotta say that don't start (too late) by Ark is one of the best "first time" fics I've ever read in any fandom. Eddie's inner voice is wonderful. I believe every word he thinks while he experiences this brand new thing with Steve.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

It's not brand new to me, but there's a found family one that I've been tinkering with for a very long time, and that excites me.  And I do love events for tossing me situations or prompts to write for that I may not have thought of, independently. @steddiemicrofic especially has been so, so fun. I think it was the very first event I wrote for on Tumblr, and the challenge of having a very limited amount of words, but still trying to make it feel like a whole story has been told, has been a blast. Thanks to @wynnyfryd and @steddieas-shegoes for challenging us all each month!

What is your writing process like?

I don't outline or anything. I just write, and edit, as I go. And I'll edit obsessively. I'll tweak and change small things over and over, ad nauseam. And even then, I know I still miss mistakes. But my mistakes are my own, I have no beta, because I kind of like being solely responsible for anything I write. Right or wrong. Here it is, take it or leave it. I also talk things through things in my own head a lot, especially dialogue, or I'll open a document, and just see where that takes me. And if I'm writing a long fic, like Tuesday's, I write totally out of order when scenes come to me. I wrote on every single year of that fic all at once. Then kept writing until they'd stitched themselves together into a full story. That's my last part of writing. Putting in the transitions from one scene to the next, when needed.  Sometimes ideas are more fully formed before I start putting words to the page, and other times I literally just start and figure it out as I go. There's one fic I wrote for Steddiemas last year where I sat Steve down at a mall food court and then just started writing. I had no idea what that was going to be. (It was Eddie turning up as the Mall Santa.)  Also: Research, research, research. I love the research aspect of writing. I'm curious in general, and if I can even think to look something up to see if it's true, or of the right time period, I will. And I like to add mixed media to my fics. That was a huge part of Take the Money & Tuesday's. All the newspaper articles and such. I felt like they were needed to make it feel like this really happened to these characters we all love so much. I did newspaper articles all throughout writing Tuesday's. In fact, I think that main article, the one at the top, was written and designed very early on in the writing process. They weren't all done at the end, they were done as the story needed them.

Do you have any writing quirks?

Short paragraphs. I love 'em. You'll pry them from my cold, dead fingers. Also see: Long sentences.  Honestly, I do like to throw out the rules, a bit. I write by feel. How does it sound, to my own ear? If it works, for my character, my fic or just me in general, I'll use it. "Don't use two "ands" in a sentence." Okay, but sometimes I'm gonna when that flows the best. Or: "That's a run-on." Okay, but I like the way it reads. "You don't need a comma there." But, I like the way that it breathes, so it's getting one. All this is especially true if writing from someone's POV. I know I don't always think in proper grammar, and I don't expect them to either. I don't want things to feel hard to read, but I do want them to feel natural. If that makes sense. I walk around, pacing as I write or edit on my phone, as if the moving somehow lets me see it differently. I think it does! And I don't know if this is a quirk, but some of the characterizations formed while writing Tuesday's have stuck, hard. Gareth is Gareth Jones, and where you find him, you'll probably find Di. Freak is Goodie. Jeff is Jeff Williams. These things have been decided in my brain, and now I feel compelled to take them with me, fic-to-fic. I didn't intend to build a headcanon I wouldn't be able to shake, but here we are.  I feel like I can transplant Steve and Eddie anywhere, into anything, and be comfortable changing things up. But the Corroded Coffin boys are cemented, as they were created, for the most part. Maybe that's because I did have to do so much shaping for them. Steve and Eddie, we know. We're all working off a decent amount of canon content. Corroded Coffin only had a few moments on screen to help flesh any of us flesh them out into real characters. And now that I've made my choices, for good or bad, they're here to stay.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Finished, definitely. My three long fics were all mostly written before I started posting, and I still struggled to get the last part of All of Across the Universe out in a timely fashion. Tuesday's was posted over one week, one chapter per day, and I really enjoyed that fast schedule. It didn't give me any extra time to overthink the finished product. It was going out, and that was that. I had to trust that I knew what I was doing when I deemed it finished.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Tuesday's Gone With the Wind. I truly thought I was done after Take the Money and Run. And then this idea slapped me in the face, and I spent five months just lost in their world. These versions of the characters came so naturally, and they are still with me today. I feel like most of what I've written since then is shaped by those versions. Also, that was the last fic I wrote without anything else coming down the pipe. The last one before I joined Tumblr. The last one that had my full, and utter, undivided attention. It's really special to me, and I'm beyond grateful to everyone that has embraced it and recommended it to friends. I know it's got some scary warnings, but for those that have dove in and let me know that it spoke to you in some way, you've made me so happy. It spoke to me, too.

How did you get the idea for Tuesday's Gone With the Wind?

By watching the documentary "If I Leave Here Tomorrow" about the band Lynyrd Skynyrd. As I was watching it, there was an interview section where one of the band members spoke about their assistant road manager, saying: "He was like a bartender roadie. Where he took care of us really good, you know? Anybody who was sick, or needed a little more attention, he was just there for you. He was like the big brother, and sister, and your mama and everything." My brain whispered, Steve Harrington.  And that was that. Corroded Coffin were going to get Road Manager Steve Harrington, and he was gonna take care of them as they headed towards this unavoidable disaster. I wrote like 5k words the first night. It was just in there, waiting to spill out, somehow. And I think it's also an anomaly for me, but I'm fairly certain I started that fic with what turned out to be the opening. That first bit of Eddie's first interview section. I think that's where I started telling the story, and it held throughout. That's pretty rare for me. (Fun fact: I wrote all the interview bits in a separate document, and then just fit and tweaked them into the story, as needed. But not that opening. That was the launch pad into everything else.)

When writing Tuesday's Gone With the Wind, what was something you didn’t expect?

It's not exactly a Steddie answer, but - Gareth! Gareth Jones, my beloved. I wasn't on Tumblr when I wrote Tuesday's or any other social media in a fandom way. I was in my own bubble, doing my own thing. So, I didn't know the fandom had given him a fanon surname. I chose my own, and now he's just Gareth Jones to me, and always will be. He's also Eddie's best friend. I've pondered on more than one occasion on if Take the Money and Run would be different if I knew that first, lol. Just exploring my version of a character that had so little screen time to work off was incredibly fun. And has remained fun. Gareth is definitely gonna show up again in my future works. He's to Eddie, as Robin is to Steve in my head now and forevermore.

What inspired Take the Money and Run?

These lyrics from the song "Me and Paul" by Willie Nelson: Almost busted in Laredo But for reasons that I'd rather not disclose But if you're staying in a motel there and leave Just don't leave nothing in your clothes I had a literal shower thought that made me laugh. And thought, well, why are they even in a motel? Oh, they must be on a road trip. So, I wrote that little scene mainly in my head, but jotted it down, just in case, and assumed that was the end of it. But then I just kept writing it. Until I was knee deep in maps and mileage and research trying to figure this road trip out from a logistics standpoint. All because I thought it'd be funny if Eddie left weed in his pants and Steve got all put upon because of it.

What was your favorite part to write from You Oughta Know?

I loved getting to include all the fun 90s things, since that's when I was a teen, and can remember a lot of it very distinctly, first-hand. And I loved getting to use El's powers to look in on Eddie, so while they might not know where he is, they did know that he seemed to be doing okay out there in the world. Also, if I could go back and change one thing about it, I'd fix that I said Eddie's never had an acoustic guitar. I didn't notice his acoustic in his room until my re-watch. Oh well. This version of Eddie didn't, I guess, lol. (This might be from the second part, Eddie's POV. But still. It's my Roman Empire. I think of this mistake at least once a week and beat myself up. If I'd been on Tumblr at the time, I feel this would have never happened, because someone would have blogged about it, drawing my attention to it, surely.)

How do/did you feel writing Never Not Mine?

This one is heavily inspired by the Taylor Swift song imgonnagetyouback. It was fun to dig into a slightly angstier world for a bit. Because things don't always work out, or if they do, not always the first time around. I like to think they'll find each other again, in any universe, but they might not take the easiest path. They aren't perfect, and that's realistic.

What was the most difficult part of writing Let the Boy Be Merry?

Crying while writing it. This one slapped me around a little while writing. Life isn't always as romantic as fic leads us all to believe which, the audacity, honestly, lol, but the kind of love and relationship in this fic? That feels real to me. Old, and familiar, and even as well as you know a person, you can't read their mind. You don't always get what the other needs immediately, you don't get how important things can be to them, but figuring out how to compromise is love. Real, lasting love.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

This question was hard! I'm gonna pick two from Tuesday's: For the first, I cried while writing and then cried again while editing the scene where Eddie and Steve hash out how serious their relationship is, and realize they've kind of been on different pages. There are two scenes in Tuesday's that got to me, and made me cry while writing them, over and over, and I don't even know why. (The other is Gareth picking that fight with Steve. Yeah, yeah, I know. Neither of these parts are the saddest parts of Tuesday's. But they stripped me raw, for whatever reason.) And a second, more fun, favorite: I'm gonna go with the scene where Eddie's naked and tripping on mushrooms in the backyard while Steve hangs out with him, and Eddie thinks they've written "Tom Sawyer" by Rush. That was so fun, and just a feel good write, if that makes sense. That whole summer they spent at the lake I look back on writing fondly. They are so in love there. They are all happy. And this scene is carefree in a way that they won't always be, due to circumstances coming down the pipe.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I run @corrodedcoffinfest and I've got a whole list of planned pop-up events coming up over the next few months for that. Steddie is absolutely welcome, so if anyone would like a little more Corroded Coffin works in their life, consider coming to join us! I also finally updated my masterlist, so everything I've written for Stranger Things is finally gathered together. There's a lot that's still only on Tumblr and not on Ao3 at this point.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Thanks so much for including me and my works in this! And to the person who nominated me, thank you, thank you! You really made my day. It was fun to think about these fics again, and answer these questions. I've really enjoyed writing for Steddie, and I've also enjoyed making friends in the fandom. Thanks for welcoming me. Thanks for showing my fics love, and commenting or leaving kudos or reblogging. Just, thank you all so much. And I'm sorry if these answers were too long, lol. As a habitual "end notes" kind of writer, that's just the way I roll. 

Thank you to our author, @thisapplepielife, and our anonymous nominator! See more of thisapplepielife's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[aq2003]

archive dive #3: romeo and juliet (2000)

i fucking loved this so so much. ohhhhh it was so good. i am fond of the baz luhrmann movie but my one gripe w it is the portrayal of the titular characters feels too boring and here it's like. i can't even joke david tennant and alex gilbreath are perfect for the roles and i'm obsessed. i feel like this production really nails the tone most of all; when i was reading the play again i found it kinda fucked up and dark, like while it was funny at times (like any shakespeare play is) it very much wasn't this light fantastical sweeping romance, even at the beginning before the deaths start happening...and it feels like michael boyd thought the same when approaching the story. it feels slightly unconventional but also the original felt like that to me too, if that makes sense. anyway i loved the music and choreography in this soooo much and the seperate curved walls symbolizing the two families is just [chefs kiss]. it's a great production all around and i'm forever jealous of the people who got to watch it live

prev / archive dive tag / next

david wrote about it in his romeo essay of course but i love the choice to have romeo narrate the prologue in the middle of the big brawl between the families at the beginning. the fact that it's a romeo after his death looking back on the tragedy with a sense of resignation but also serenity like yessss yessssssss <- sicko. he was doomed from the start because of the world he lived in etc etc

you can feel the teenage angst dripping off romeo the minute he walks onto the stage (after the prologue during his actual first scene). his back is to the camera as benvolio hugs him but the angst is still so palpable. it's coming off of him in waves. just the way that he walks. so real

"in sadness, cousin, i do love...........................a woman" why did he pause like that. this is so funny. what is the implication here.

david plays romeo's self-dramatizing lovesickness perfectly but also this was the exact energy i expected he would also bring to berowne and he surprisingly did not! i will talk about this in the LLL post but i will leave this note here for now

i love alex's voice an inordinate amount and i think it is just a perfect fit for juliet. i think a big thing with juliet is that she sort of acts/imagines herself as much older than she actually is (bc that's how her family sees her too) and her having that kind of raspy, deeper voice lends itself well to that

mercutio is a really interesting bit of this production because it's the one element i feel like is the least faithful to the text (or at least, whatever my reading of the text is). he's very clearly jealous, and a lot of his lines poking fun at romeo's love life feel way less humorous than they were originally written to be. like of course this mercutio is witty and fun which goes for basically any good mercutio but he's also a bit vindictive here! he's cynical about love specifically because of romeo's rejection of him! it's not bad and it def feeds into the tone the production is going for but it is still very Different to me

like by comparison you look at harold perrineau's mercutio (bombastic and campy and fun with this undercurrent of past tragedy to him) or dt's audio drama mercutio (filled w a lust for life without the actual lust. he's just here for a good time) and adrian's mercutio just feels like a whole different character. he even gets aggressive with romeo and pins him down for half of the queen mab speech and it's like mercutio we can find you another twink for you to make heart eyes at it's okay.

i wonder if the familiarity between mercutio and romeo + that line reading on "i do love a woman" a while back implies that they had some kind of history together? is that why mercutio feels so possessive and jealous over romeo? much to think about

the whole stage changing color back to blue during the dance when juliet and romeo first lay eyes on each other. Oh baby

the curved line the capulets form as they hold hands and walk off the stage after the dance imitating the curve of the wall <33

i'm obsessed with how alex delivers the "you kiss by the book" line. it's so funny. i think in general juliet is so interesting because she's less sensitive and "romantic" than romeo is, like if he's this emotional misunderstood poet than she's more of a grounded realist and is almost surprised by how her feelings bloom out of her. in her head it's like she's aware of romeo's unimpressive aspects (like his cookie cutter pickup lines and his mediocre kissing) but she's still enchanted with him anyway because (to steal a line from doctor who) he's the first person she's met who is remotely like her

i love the song the chorus does at the start of act 2, originally i kind of imagined it being done in the same way as the prologue but it would not make as much sense for ghost romeo to come back in now that the story is rolling along lol

the balcony scene... ahhh the balcony scene. i love how romeo starts off with his back pressed against the wall representing the montagues and then when he works up the courage, makes his way over to the capulet wall where juliet is standing at the top of. symbolism!

juliet hitting her head on the wall to punctuate every word of "wherefore art thou romeo" a) is a great way of approaching the text without over-sentimentality + the baggage of "oh these are some of shakespeare's most famous lines" and b) makes the line a lot more easy to understand for a random audience member watching it (like how she's not asking "where" but "why" and is frustrated by the situation she's found herself in)

the two of them reaching for each other over the wall during the "i would i were thy bird" bit made me go "awww :("

mercutio pushing romeo away when he screams "a plague o' both your houses" (while letting himself get carried away by benvolio)... like Oh yeah it's not even actually about the montagues and the capulets at this point he is blaming romeo specifically and i'm positively sure romeo is looking at him with the sad_wet_david_tennant_eyes.gif

the way romeo's voice breaks when he says "but mercutio's soul is a little way above our heads" someone hug him please. oh my god?

3.3 was done so well and i am so [screams loudly] abt it. just in general i think this scene is VERY important to romeo's character, bc this is basically where you understand his turmoil and why he feels like he can't live in a world without juliet. he's traumatized by his friend's death and thinks his soulmate hates him forever and that his life is over. and you get the sense maybe he was always teetering on the edge of a cliff too. it needs to be given the right amount of weight, it can't shy away from this horrible meltdown he's having. and i think david really does it justice in his portrayal of it. the way he paces around in this uncomfortable and frantic way like he doesn't want to be in his own body n how he screams and lashes out and tries to claw at his skin. it is so heartbreaking thank u david i'm so fucked up now

and like the way that friar lawrence takes the dagger from romeo and goes on his whole spiel about how he needs to man up and stop crying and this just makes romeo start crying harder like oh my god. Ohhhhhhhh my god i actually need to be shot

somewhat delving into hc territory but i think romeo (dt's version especially) is very sensitive and seeks out love and affection wherever he can find it bc his parents were emotionally neglectful towards him (while friar lawrence was far more understanding and attentive by comparison, and generally much more of an actual father figure towards him). but even then friar lawrence has his moments of "stop having those stupid girly feelings romeo". i feel like juliet is the only person in the play who doesn't see romeo's emotions as unseemly or ridiculous

i was reading the prompt book alongside watching this and they changed juliet's line "love, lord, ay husband, friend" to "love, lord, my husband, friend" as if that line couldn't get more tragic. my husband. my friend. fuck!!

also. guys i need lord capulet DEAD and GONE. clean shot. ok anyways

one of, if not my favorite scene in the play is in 4.3 where juliet monologues about what could go wrong before drinking the sleeping potion. it's like... she has to be incredibly brave to even get by in her life, whether that be her relationship with romeo or her father threatening her or her accepting the potion from friar lawrence in the first place. her life is actively scary in a way that romeo's isn't and obeying her family would be so much easier but she still doesn't give in and stop fighting. bc her life is hers and she won't let her one choice she made for herself be taken away from her. but here all of that bravery falls away because she basically has to give up and surrender. she's just left with herself and a drink that will basically kill her and it's so genuinely fucking terrifying for her and it makes me want to eat rocks. she is just so young and scared and she has to look death in the face for a chance of freedom and it's so fucking sad because you know it's not going to work and she's doomed by the narrative

AND THE STAGE TURNS BLUE WHEN JULIET HALLUCINATES TYBALT'S GHOST. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. SHE'S SO TERRIFIED AND RIGHTFULLY SO. SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING COULD GO WRONG BUT SHE DOES IT ANYWAY. BUT WE KNOW SHE'S DEAD. SHE'S BEEN DEAD FROM THE BEGINNING.

anyway that scene was cut out in the baz luhrmann movie but it's here in this production which makes me very happy, as happy as i can be about this very upsetting scene where this young girl is finally overwhelmed by her fear of death

mentioning another thing david wrote about in his essay but romeo in act 5 isn't overindulgent and emotional anymore just determined and driven towards his end. but also actually watching it, for me it's just so so sad because it's like. you want that overemotional romeo back, the romeo that was coming up with love poetry on the spot or crying over being separated from juliet. at that point he still wanted to live for her but now it's like he's filled with this cold finality of "oh, i can only be together with her in death. and there is nothing i have left to do but to make that happen"

romeo's final speech to juliet. david tennant i'm in your walls

juliet's dying gasps/sobs as she sinks into the grave with romeo in her arms. alex gilbreath i'm in your walls

the light of the stage turning blue as the ghosts of juliet and romeo come out of the grave and exit the stage together as their parents agree to resolve the conflict between the families... (the only other times it turned blue were when ghost romeo came out to narrate the prologue, when romeo and juliet first meet each other, and right before juliet drinks the sleeping potion). i am sick

the music at the end of the play/during the curtain call is so melancholy and beautiful I AM SICK

such a good production. fuck

[ladyloveandjustice]

List of "Does it Like Women" Results and whether I agree

I find the "Does it like women" blog fascinating, as y'all have probably noticed. I always tend to think deeply about this topic when I consume media, so I wanted to make a list of results I disagree with, because it interests me! I'll likely be updating this through reblogs if my interest doesn't wane, I'll make a note in the replies when I do!

Loves Women

I agree with all of these so far! Well, loves women might be a little bit of a stretch for the first Spiderverse movie (on the other hand...doc ock...hnnn), but I think the second does so yeah basically agree.

Likes Women

Kill la Kill- Man it's 2013 again and I'm seeing tumblr make powerpoints about how klk is deeply feminist and it's actually a super deep critique of harassment that Ryuko has to wear the ugliest outfit ever and Westerners Don't Understand (person making this argument is inevitably a Westerner).

Yeah, based on the part I've seen and everything I've heard, hard disagree. But I have not seen the whole thing, just those three, I do know the part I saw included rape jokes a plenty, a weird victim-blamey take on "not being ashamed" of being forced into a skimpy outfit and how if you're bothered by men ogling you that's your weakness, and a vagina wedgie. I'm not as mad about it as I was back then,and I can appreciate the show has it's good points later on. Not having watched it also means my knowledge is incomplete. However, I have listened to really in depth breakdowns of the series (mainly Anifem's podcast), so I know exactly what happens, and yeah, the treatment of women doesn't impress me. I'm on the dislike side, (holding back on hates because again, haven't seen all of it)

...could understand mixed feelings though, I guess

Fullmetal Alchemist 2003 anime- nahhhh man, it doesn't like women, treating them significantly worse than the manga it adapted. I have a lot of issues, from how thoroughly it shafted Winry, to how it gave Riza nothing, to Dante being every cliche about a female villain they could fit in here, the treatment of Rose leaving a horrible taste in my mouth (I see arguments of what happened to her being a critique of imperialism, however I have yet to see anyone justify why the show had to continue to have her kidnapped and assaulted and treated as an afterthought after that) and some truly rancid one-off episodes.

I break down my problems with it at the end of the little FMA 2003 liveblog I did, though it's phrased super obnoxiously because I wrote it...oh my god twelve years ago oh god I'm crumbling to dust as we speak. But I break down the basics with the "top gross things" post I did (ignore any thoughts on race I had no place writing bout that tbh). The tag anime: turn your zombie mom into ethanol also goes into more of my thoughts, though again, very obnoxious and the deeper you dig the more ancient and obnoxious it will get lmao.

I have several ancient posts on how it treated Winry in particular, as she was my fave and was done so dirty, and I think they hold up fairly well. Here's a post I made about the Winry-Roy plotline, and a good response by another user. Then we have this post, ignore horrible art.

(Please don't try to spark a debate with any of this stuff, it's years and years old, I went through so much drama and legit panic attacks, and I'm not committed anymore. Love 2003 and think it likes women if you want, that's fine! I'm just trying to illustrate what I mean in saying imo it dislikes women).

The Handmaiden- This poll reminded me to finally get around to watching this movie, and I'm so glad I did! I'd go with "loves women" for this one actually,The nos must either be misclicks or people who don't understand that two women having sex on screen is not the same as the male gaze.

Madoka- I'd definitely go more towards mixed feelings honestly (especially if we're counting Rebellion) but I get the people who say "likes".

Yuri is my Job- it loves women, it loves messy women, it loves women who love women, it loves them so much, idk why it got a sizeable no vote. People who only watched the first ep? People who think yuri is "bad"?

Mob Psycho 100- Someone in the notes says "accidentally likes women" and that's the only answer in the "likes women" area I'll accept. It has 10 million prominent male characters and like three prominent female characters. ONE really really obviously has a hard time imagining women as powerful or action heroes. (this is reflected in One Punch Man too) (One Punch Man actively hates women and queer people though, Mob is infinitely better) Only one who ever gets to fight and play with the boys, and she's a low level mook, and we have to spend 75% percent of her limited screentime on whether it's actually okay to fight women, with her winning argument being "Well you're literally a child so I guess it evens out" (???) The little girl with the evil dolls gets even less screentime.

I do like that the series examines how Mob idealized Takane and how people not caring about the real her made her tired, as well as how it allowed her to reject Mob and was basically a lesson in the importance of accepting rejection. But her screentime is also really limited, and I feel like we could have dove into her a lot more. Tome is a wonderful weird girl and I liked her little arc, and I hear she gets more in the Reigen manga, but still not a TON of screentime, and even with her there are a couple jabs about how she doesn't "count" as a girl due to not acting traditionally feminine we're clearly supposed to find funny. Emi is...there I guess. There's that sweet scene with the writer girl, and the bully girl, but they're like, not reoccurring at all, as evidenced by how I can't remember their names.

And uh. the girls school episode.

Anyway. Hot take but I don't think "they're barely in the story but when they are two of them are treated pretty decently and have some depth, though there is some weird stuff about whether women can even fight men or whatever" really counts as "likes women". I'd go more mixed feelings.

Life is Strange-out of the two options I chose dislikes, but my feelings are a lot closer to "mixed feelings". I go into why here.

Gushing Over Magical Girls- lol. lmao even. The anime about middle school girls who look 8 sexually assaulting other middle school girls DEFINITELY doesn't like women. I go into more detail here.

Cowboy Bebop: Mixed feelings, probably. I chose dislikes because yes, Faye and Ed are great (you could def read Ed as nb though), but Faye also is repeatedly damsel in distress'd and treated as incompetent in her field when I don't think she should be, she can be a failgirl without being the sole woman in the action side of the group and also the least capable (there's also That Scene in the movie). also i just. it's fine that she's sexy but I hate her outfit. give her something nicer looking, it's so ugly. But my main reason for a dislike vote is the treatment of Julia. Girl is a textbook example of fridging. They really gave her so little. But yeah I could see mixed feelings.

Also do you remember that one scene during Faye's tragic backstory where she's hospitalized and the camera requires us to look down her super (painful looking? like idk how she's not screaming about it) squished boobs during this tense and important moment god that took me out. whenever anyone acts like Faye always owns her sexiness and the camera never does anything I remember that scene.

Ranma 1/2: I've seen read a good chunk of it, and this result is...surprising. Maybe by the standards of 80's manga though, who knows.

Better Call Saul- I did vote yes on this one, but I'd put it more at mixed feelings. Kim is a fantastic character, but there aren't enough women on the show at all. She's a major part of the show, but basically the only one of any note. I only voted yes because I finally remembered Francesca was a reoccurring character and she's all right, but the fact I had to think to remember...

Undead Unluck: I know it gets a lot better later but I'm not sure if a work that has it's female character continuously and comically sexually harassed for the first few chapters can ever get liking women privileges. I don't know enough about it but it might be a mixed feelings situation.

Akiba Maid War: tbh I'd probably give this 'loves women'.

Ducktales: For the second season specifically I'd say "loves women". The first season leans more towards 'like women' though, so it evens out.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend- Should be "loves women" but people are ridic and voted based on the title.

Mixed Feelings

Dracula- IIII definitely think it dislikes women, sorry guys. Mina is a great character and you do have to take it in the context of when it was written. But there are surely contemporaries of Bram Stoker that wouldn't have randomly gone out of their way to scoff at the "New Woman". Not to mention again, really random sidebars about how men are so much smarter and cooler and women should be grateful to them. I could go on about Lucy and how Mina is treated and whether that's a critique of sexism or just playing into it and how it's so open to interpretation but I'll stop here.

also the book is hugely anti- Romani, immigrant etc and I think that ties into disliking women since some women are those Romani and immigrants

It really really felt like a case where a lot of people in the Drac Daily tag just wanted it to be super feminist because they liked it (you can like things without having to make them feminist! it's fine!), and the way they scoffed at feminist scholars who had "surface level readings" of the text (aka they dared to say it was sexist) still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

The Lego Movie: dislikes women. what are y'all on. Even it's own sequel calls it out for disliking women. Wildstyle is basically the only woman with real characterization and she's the purest concentration of "hypercompetent woman must play second fiddle to Average Male loser who is the one who actually saves the world and also she falls in love with him because of course she does'. Then Wonder Woman got one line (in literally the first theatrical move she got to even be in) and Superman and Batman a lot of screen time.

Does not like

Scott Pilgrim- Don't get this result, I'd put it at likes or mixed feelings? It's literally about how Scott has weird issues with women where he doesn't see them as to full people they are, and it calls him out on that hard. The whole sixth volume is how he made up a damsel in distress scenario for Kim and always took her for granted, how he put all the blame on Envy for the end of their relationship when he played a huge role in that, Knives finally getting over him, moving on, and telling him he needs to grow up a little (highlighting how his grossness towards her was him refusing to accept that he was an adult now, and that he was horrible to her, and yes he does apologize), and accepting that he and Ramona are both messed up people and she's just as flawed as he is, taking down the pedestal he put her on. And having Ramona triumphantly confront her abuser. Scott acknowledges he has a lot in common with Gideon, the supervillain!

Roxy is a sticking point, the whole 'it was a phase thing' and her and Ramona's relationshipbeing unexplored was annoying (fixed in Takes Off) but even she had some moments of pathos and was definitely the (Ramona's) ex the story seemed to sympathize with the most.

I dunno. this seems like a tumblr lacks media literacy thing again. Did you think the narrative agrees with Scott. Did you only watch the movie.

Succession- I'd go more mixed feelings? Dislikes is fine, I think it doesn't have enough women and often privileges male characters over them, but sometimes it's examination of the sexism Shiv faces is really incisive, and she's a complex character. But she should have gotten that abortion.

Watchmen: hates women actually. Pretty much anything written by Alan Moore does.

Persona 4: I think it hates women actually. But dislike is fine too.

Merlin: Everything I've heard about the show puts in in the hates camp rather than dislikes, but i never watched it (I did watch this video on it, and the bootlicking is out of this world if it's accurate) so I can't really comment

Fables: I cannot fathom how this did not get "hates women". Not just the fact it's written by a known misogynist. I will always remind everyone that I was literally there to see Bill Willingham say the female fans protesting the misogynist treatment of Stephanie Brown were annoying and he wishes he could shoot them. I was there. I heard him. This attitude completely shows up in his work. On top of that, his conservative, women hating idealogy all over this comic. Do you not remember all the random abortion soapboxes and how hard Snow White got sidelined????

And when I refreshed my memory, I discovered the reason Snow White had kids when she didn't want to was because a spell made her have sex with the male lead and she didn't even remember that happening. I also forgot that her backstory was the seven dwarfs raped her (but then she murdered them! Girl Power!) This is only the tip of the iceberg, I rediscovered way too many screwed up things he did to his female characters. Plus blatant Zionist propaganda and a ton of racism.

Like Snow White's backstory was some dark and edgy rape revenge and she's an Empowered Woman now, only to have her be raped by the man she will marry (in a mutual rape) but we don't call it that, and now she has kids she doesn't want, she can't get an abortion because It's Evil, time to quit her job she's proud of and move to a farm to have six kids.

iCarly-- It hates women! Dan Schneider. That should be all we need but some people in the comments insisted on separating the art from the artist despite the fact the artist is ALL OVER the art, and said art directly tormented Jeanette McCurdy! There was so much content in the show that was there to specifically torment her-- the fact her character has a food addiction/eating disorder while she had a real life eating disorder and they had to have known this, the fact after hearing she had a crush on an actor then they wrote it into her character to humiliate her, the fact they continually sexualized her while knowing her discomfort with it and with her body-- I have also watched the exhaustive basically minute-by-minute breakdown by QuintonReviews. Some gross shit happens on that show.

Hates Women

Agree with all of these so far!