#I actually liked dutch boat guy

[doctorbeverlycrusher]

Listen, I fell hard and fast into the Tedbecca corner but I’m really not mad about the ending 🤷‍♀️

[clumsycapitolunicorn]

.

[lqvesoph]

Kingsday || LN4

lando norris x fem!reader

summary: when celebrating kingsday with your boyfriend lando ends with a small injury, and a call from his boss

masterlist

Your boyfriend being friends with a dutch DJ, meant one thing: party, party and party. Especially on Kingsday, a day where the dutch people celebrated the King‘s birthday, or got drunk on random boats driving down the channel of Amsterdam.

You had arrived about two hours ago. Lando immediately joined Martin at the DJ desk whereas you went to get some drinks for the two of you.

Now two hours later, Lando was still with Martin, or so you hoped because you actually haven’t seen him in over 30 minutes.

"Y/n!! Y/n come here!", a voice that you recognized as Martin called. You whisked around to find the dutchman waving frantically.

You frowned and excused yourself from your conversation before making your way through the mass of people. "What’s wrong?", you shouted. "It’s Lando, come!", Martin yelled and reached a hand out for you to take.

You gladly accepted his help to guide you through the people and to your boyfriend. And lord, you almost dropped your glass when you saw Lando.

"Baby!", a drunken smile graced his face. But that wasn’t the only thing. Before there were glasses and a ribbon in the dutch colours but now there was a white bandage wrapped around his head.

"Lando, what the hell happened??", you called, hastily placing your glass on a table and rushing to your boyfriend.

"I’m so happy you’re here", he slurred, placing his hands on your cheeks and pulling you into a messy kiss. You returned the kiss for a second before pulling back, holding him upright and steady.

"Baby, can you explain what happened?", you tried to again, pushing back his curls. "There were SO many people", he giggled and you tried your best to stay calm and let him finish talking. "And then I tripped and then there was an elbow and glass and suddenly ow…", his face dropped towards the end and his fingers reached up to his nose.

You held his hand back. "Don’t touch, let me see", you muttered and removed the very badly done bandage. You held his chin to move his head to the sides to get a good look at his bloody nose.

"Does it hurt?", you asked, carefully touching the brink of his nose. "Nope!", Lando grinned proudly, making you roll your eyes. "Of course not, you’re drunk", you mumbled.

"Martin, can you get my bag please? It’s with Lando’s jacket behind the DJ pult", you explained to Lando’s friend who nodded immediately and went to grab your bag.

When Martin came back you pulled tissue and sanitizer out of the black bag and cleaned up the blood around Lando’s nose. "Are you like a professional?", a guy asked, nodding at the things in your hand and your firm grip on Lando’s chin. "Almost", you chuckled. "I’m studying medicine."

"Yeah, she’s gonna be a doctor!", Lando called proudly. "Shh", you firmly said snd squeezed his chin. "It doesn’t look broken, maybe bruised but you‘ll be fine", you delivered the verdict. "You‘re the best, thank you. I love you", Lando mumbled, leaning forward to connect your lips again. A few "Aww"s were heard around you which made you smile just as Lando‘s phone started ringing.

The boy fumbled it out of his pocket, only to find his boss‘ name on the display. "Oh oh, that means trouble", Martin muttered. Seeing as you weren’t as drunk as the rest of the people around you, your reaction times were way faster. And so you reached forward to grab Lando‘s phone out of his hands to answer the call yourself.

"Lando Norris, what on earth are-", Zak‘s voice roared through the speakers. "Zak, hi, it’s me Y/n", you quickly interrupted the American who abruptly stopped talking.

"Y/n? I didn’t know you are with Lando", he sounded surprised.

"Martin invited us over-" "There’s a picture of Lando bleeding and with a bandage circulating around the internet, care to explain the situation?", Zak interrupted you, getting straight to the point.

"I wasn’t with him when it happened but according to him and various people around him, he tripped and cut his nose. Martin got me soon after and I already took a look at his nose and he‘s okay. A bit bruised, going to cause a bit of pain when putting a helmet on but he‘ll be fine. Nothing‘s broken or anything like that", you broke down the whole story to Lando‘s boss while pushing your fingers through Lando‘s curls.

He let out a sigh and you could imagine him sitting in his office chair, rubbing the side of his head. "Okay, can I talk to him for a second?", Zak said and you nodded, leaning down to Lando and handing him the phone.

"He wants to talk to you", you muttered, putting the phone to his ear. "Hiii", Lando called excitedly, making you squeeze your eyes shut with a chuckle. "Noo, I swear I‘m okay even better than okay!", he assured his boss. "Zak, I‘m fineee! Y/n is taking care of me."

"Hey Zak, did you know that dutch people-", you pulled the phone back from his ear before he could spill some stupid shit. "I‘ll get him back home in one piece, I promise", you said, ruffling his curls. "Thank you, Y/n", Zak replied before saying goodbye.

You took a deep breath and put Lando‘s phone in your back pocket. The Brit leaned his head against your stomach and closed his eyes with a content drunk smile.

"You okay?", you whispered with a smile and tapped the back of his head a few times. Lando nodded against your stomach and then looked up at you, pouting his lips to let you know he wanted a kiss. You smirked and leaned down to connect your lips.

"Okay let’s get back!", he called enthusiastically and got up, swaying a little when he stood. You wrapped an arm around his waist, doing your best to steady him. Lando naturally put his around your shoulders.

"Let‘s get you a glass of water and then we can go back, alright?", you compromised with him and dragged him over to the bar, telling the guy to hand you a glass of water.

You thanked him and turned your body to Lando, holding the cup close to his mouth. "Here you go."

Lando took a few sips and then leaned closer to your ear. "I love you", he whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck. You giggled and pulled him into a hug. "I love you", you replied.

"Let’s go back to Martin", he then called, making you laugh. "Oh and can I please get another Vodka Lemon?", Lando turned to the barkeeper who looked at you for approval. "Okay sure", he said when you nodded.

"Drink up, come on, hop hop", you clapped his waist a few times and nodded to the cup of water. Lando nodded and down the liquid in a few seconds before grabbing the fresh cup and taking the two of you back to Martin.

"What do you think Zak would say if I get behind that DJ desk?", Lando asked you. You chuckled. "He already called you once today because he worried you broke your nose so I don’t think it can get much worse", you replied making Lando laugh. "I‘ll just say you forced me to", your boyfriend said before pressing a kiss to your lips and walking around the desk to join Martin.

"Joining in again?", the dutchman asked, putting his arm around Lando. He nodded and was quickly handed the headphones. You chuckled, pulling out your phone to take a video of Lando pressing random buttons on the DJ desk. He grinned broadly when he spotted your camera on him.

"Come here, baby!", he called you over, holding the hand that wasn’t holding his glass. You put your phone away and took your boyfriend‘s hand.

He turned you around in a swift motion, wrapping his arms around your neck and pressing your body to his. You laughed out loud at the action but let him sway you from side to side.

Taking a sip from your glass you carefully pushed your hips back into his. When you didn’t get a reaction from him you did it again, this time a bit firmer. "Once is a mistake, two‘s a choice", he muttered in your ear, making you giggle.

Lando moved one of his hand down to your stomach, pressing you against him while he swayed your hips. His lips being so close to your ear meant the small breathy moan that left his lips was only for you to hear.

You turned your head so your nose was pressing against his jawline. A small kiss against his skin made him smile.

It wad Lando‘s turn to press himself closer to your back. "Okay, baby, no funny business until later", you chuckled, placing your fingers on his hands on your stomach.

"Oh, so you can tease but I can’t?", Lando chuckled teasingly and turned you around. "You can tease all you want, as soon as we’re inside our own four walls", you whispered, leaning closer to his ear.

"Promise?", Lando smirked.

"Promise!", you laughed, pressing your lips on his in a soft kiss.

📍 Amsterdam, Netherlands

tagged: landonorris, martingarrix

yn: Kingsday well spent (+ Lando at the airport the next day🤭)

comments:

landonorris: Violation

> yn: U were the one who got injured…

> landonorris: U r the one who posted it

> yn: I was also the one who aided you

> landonorris: I- don’t have anything else to add🙃

martingarrix: Had the best time🧡

> yn: Thanks for having us!!

maxverstappen: Did my invite get lost orrr?

> yn: LETS GO OUT IN MIAMI!!

oscarpiastri: Mate, you looked DEAD

> landonorris: thanks a lot, MATE🙃

ybff: YOU LOOK GORGEOUS unlike a certain brit boy

> landonorris: hey!

fan: The way she still slayed at the club while Lando was wearing that neon ass hat😭

fan: All the Mclaren members laughing at sleeping Lando lmaoo

fan: Lando getting violated by his girlfriend and his girlfriend‘s best friend and his teammate😭

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[bloodyymaryyy]

Gossip girl xoxo

Part 4

Part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / masterlist

Warnings : mention of underage drinking but other than that don't know

((Side note : apparently you guys like the series so what you want you take my beautiful people! I love you guys! Anyway I saw what happened with lando and I had to make that in here! Also something is coming soon I don't know if you will like it but I will enjoy writing so 🤷‍♀️))

Texts with lando

You : hi lan!

Landinio : hey!

You: I heard that you are going to King's day tomorrow with Martin

Landinio : yeah I am what's up?

You : well I got invited for some reason too and wanted to know if you will go with martin or you could carpool with me! I have the lambo here!

Landinio : OH SHIT! I am texting with will rn to cancel on him! There is no way I am missing the lambo ride with you!

You: okay sweet just text me when are you meeting and here you are staying at to come get you because I am out rn. Ttyl x!

Landinio : oh 😏 with who?

You : none of your bizz bye!

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

Texts between martin and lando

Lando : hey martin sorry to cancel last minute but y/n is coming and she has her lambo here and I won't find another chance to rice that thing so... Sorry again!

Will : oh it's nothing I understand I would too!

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

After picking up lando from his hotel we headed out towards the boat that the party is held taking empty wide roads to really drive the thing, drifting and doing a few donuts in an empty parking lot just for the thrill of it but making sure to actually arrive in the boat party you both got out of the car talking and laughing entering and finding Martin by the dj booth.

Greetings were exchanged talking and laughing until the second round of drinks that started to kick in hopping around, dancing and sings to the rhythm being surrounded by the Dutch men.

You two weren't fazed by the phones recording your every move because you were having fun and a little tipsy, not that you would admit it both to anyone that in fact you were drunk continuing with the drinks and having fun and just as you were getting drinks you got elbowed in the face not really hard but enough to cause a little mountain the next hour not really noticeable.

Lando in the other hand just as you were nearing him again was hit or something because his nose was bleeding you drank both of them quickly and ran up to him while near you can see the bloody roll down in this lips and teeth he smiled at you teeth bloody, you started to laugh at the situation. Someone had a first aid kit and you cleaned the wound putting a plaster on the cut and a bandage wrapped around his head loosely because you were drunk it was going to be messy.

When you finished you started to laugh again at his stupid look he looked like a mummy but who cares? You two didn't nor did the men around you so you both continued dancing, bouncing, shouting lyrics and drinking again. You weren't piss drunk you could think and walk straight and so was lando, playing some songs with martin lando djing for a bit so will could take a break, talking to you laughing and gossiping about news lately and having fun and creating the mood for the actual club that Will, Lando and you will be going to after the pre party in the boat. You were sure you will regret going to another club but current you don't care about it, future you maybe.

You weren't a light weight by any means, starting drinking from a young age and in your teenage years going out drinking almost everyday drinking made it hard for you to get drunk so you were good by half of the actual party in the club but you wouldn't say lando was the same...

Cutting your night in the what you seen fit as to lando wouldn't start throwing up but you could see he was ready to do anyway calling a taxi and telling him the directions of your hotel so you won't drive while drunk.

Taking him by his bicep and wrapping one hand around his shoulder and the other in his arm you payed for the drinks you ordered and left, waiting for the taxi to arrive he was talking to you, whispered things, making sentences up that made no sense, talking gibberish almost falling in his face while you were laughing and loose the grip around him and quickly regaining strength keeping his upright the taxi finally arrived.

Getting him inside and going arout the car so you could take care of him he laid his head in your lap while you slowly and softly graced your hand through his brown curls and stroking his cheek softly while he closed his eyes smiled and opening one eye to look up at you periodically while you made small conversations with the driver which was a fan of the sport and you learned his daughter's favourite driver was you from a young age looking up at you and asking for a photo with you, he wanted a photo with lando but he was asleep so you decided against it, when you arrived you took his phone got a selfie with him and one alone from a high angle so he was visible but not his face just his hat and hoodie that he got out with, you paid the driver and slowly got out of the car and went around the car again opening the door taking his hand waking him up a little so he can get out but he feel asleep again on you as you closed the door.

You again wrapped a hand around him and holding his other firmly you opened the hotel door and getting inside the building, the receptionist was eyeing you but you didn't care you were determined to get him safe and tugged in, heading in the elevator you waited for the doors to close and pressing the button of your level.looking at the mirror you see on your dress a bit of blood from lando's nose you looked a bit disheveled with your eye sparkly eyeshadow somehow under your eye, the lipstick long gone now in its place your lip pencil a bit smeared around the corners of your mouth, in your forehead a little knob and in lando having his head buried in your neck seamingly asleep by his slow rhythmed breathing that was hitting your neck practically hugging you, the elevator pinged letting you know that you got to your floor you started trying to wake him up to stop hugging you but he didn't budged you decide to just carry him to your door which was easier taking out your card key which luckily you took out of your wallet in the taxi and opened the door.

Upon entering you left him to the bed trying once again to gently wake him up so he could change, you left the club at 4 :30 and now you read the clock it said 5 : 30 so you did all of this in an hour and in heels... He is gonna pay fro this but for now you laid a hoodie that you had oversized and long shorts again oversized that you knew that would fit you took your pj's and headed to the bathroom, you washed your face to get rid of the make up and changed out of the dress and heels.

Going again the the bed you saw lando's clothes messily tossed around the side of the bed he was occupying and in your clothes, the hoodie was one of your merch with a red bull logo in the back and you are not gonna tell that to him, wanting him to walk out with it, he was lying in your bed the covers covering most of him but his back and head out you took a picture and tugged him in and walking to your side of the bed pulling up the covers and getting in falling asleep almost instantly, felling a pair of hands wrapping around you and a head to your neck going closer to lando cuddling up on you and falling asleep peacefully

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

Waking up in the morning was a struggle, you wouldn't say it was really a morning but evening waking up at 1pm by calls on your phone. Lando still asleep but starting to stir awake too by the annoying ringing of your phone you took your phone from the night stand you answered the phone without looking who it was

It was max

( the convo went like this)

Red : max / pink : y/n

Y/n? Why aren't you answering my calls? I have been calling you non stop from the morning where are you?

Max lower your voice... I have been sleeping what do you want? I am in my hotel room rn sleeping

Why are you still sleeping? What time did you leave the club last night?

4:30

Why? How did you get to the hotel?

Omg max can you interrogate me later? Let me sleep man...( a raspy voice could be heard in the background : stop talkinggg and then a sigh) shut up. Anyway I will call you back lat-

No! No don't fucking hang up! Are you with someone I heard a man! Who is he?!

Omg max! It's lando what do you want? I will talk to you later good bye!

I said and hand up the call not waiting for max to reply and rolled over now cuddling lando and falling asleep again for a few minutes then waking up by lando leaving the bed.

After he got a shower he came back and by then I dressed up to get food because I was starving waiting for lando you go together. We did you got a few pictures with fan and got food.

After that you called max and explained everything at some point max came with us to a few stored and hung out together and took max's plane and went to Monaco each to their own homes.

That's it thank you! ( not the end of the series tho)

[mexicangela]

okay. so. about tedbecca.

this is long and i apologize i just have thoughts. first, the fakeout in the beginning was cruel. BUT i was willing to forgive because tbh it was kinda funny and i’m not convinced that the “morning after” tension between ted and rebecca didn’t make everyone, everyone, think for just a second that they had slept together. y’know, like, if there was never any chemistry there, why the fakeout to get tedbeccas excited/cut them down and antis worried? did the reason for ted, beard, and jane being there really make a ton of sense? no. therefore, it really does feel like it was just something they wrote in to be mean and, like. come on, guys. why be mean? second, their talk in the stands??? you gotta be fucking kidding me. rebecca welton poured her fucking soul out to ted and he didn’t have a thing to say about it other than that “i’ve already made my decision” bullshit? didn’t even offer her a hand or hug of comfort? how out of character was that? he seemed so stoic through the whole episode, like he was stunted. which, maybe has to do with his being sad about leaving but still it threw me off. jesus, talk about “subverting expectations” or whatever. also, the things rebecca was saying? “you go, i go”? the ultimatum of “either we both stay or we both leave” and then her saying they’d both go only to take it back in the end? be so fucking for real right now. the offer to pay him insane amounts of money then telling him there was really no kind of monetary compensation that could represent how much he meant to the club (and her), the proposed solution to bring his child and his child’s mother over to london for him to stay (it is one thing to offer to get henry over, but to extend the offer to michelle is something else)? those aren’t things regular old friends say/do for each other, i’m sorry. listen, i love my friends but that’s a lot to offer anyone. you really have to love someone to be willing to do all that and cry real tears while begging them to stay, to choose you, to choose the home you’ve made for yourself. third, the airport scene gutted me but AGAIN i was kind of at peace with it. it would have at least left it super open ended and allowed the fanbase to imagine what could have happened afterward, y’know. like the whole “rom-com leave-cute” thing was another mean thing to do because where was the rom or the com about that?? why do that? but like i said, i would have been at peace with it because, dear god, the way rebecca was looking at him (again, ted gave us almost nothing but whatever. not even a tear? ugh.). i mean, she was looking at him like she wanted to say “stay. choose me. choose your own happiness.” also i know she’s loaded but WHO BUYS A FIRST CLASS TICKET JUST TO GET PAST SECURITY ONLY TO SAY GOODBYE TO A GOOD PAL? doesn’t make sense to my little pea brain!!! sudeikis, make it make sense (unfortunately for me and everyone around me i still love him)! there really should have been an “i love you” and not even necessarily in a romantic way. these two are supposed to be soulmates, cosmically connected, there’s not supposed to be one without the other and all we got was…”thank you” and a head nod? like, yes, thank you. thank you for showing me warmth and kindness and grace. thank you for reminding me what my strength looks like. thank you for being there for me. yes, yes, yes, thank you! but an “i love you” really would have been wonderful and i’m actually sad they didn’t get to hear it from each other. fourth, the way nameless boat dude came back in like a fucking generic ass early disney prince was just lame. i thought it was lazy. here we have a rebecca who is devastated that this weird, funny, kindhearted american football coach who shoved himself into her life and her heart has just left to go back to kansas and this little dutch girl trips and suddenly rebecca’s found happiness? it’s frustrating. really, it is. like i’m happy rebecca has a shot at happiness and a family, but she just as well could have had it with ted, who is admittedly very similar to this dutch man. i don’t get it. this is where it well and truly lost me. fifth (this one’s a three parter, sorry), where’s ted’s happy ending? because i don’t think it’s a life of volunteering to coach children’s soccer. i know people have been implying/worrying that ted and michelle reconcile but i don’t see that happening. ted, at his core, is still the man michelle left. he’s still overly optimistic (although we didn’t see that in the finale, like what?), he’s still punny, and let’s be real, he’s still a mess. i didn’t see the resolution to his arc. in fact, returning to kansas feels like a regression. he literally ran from kansas. that’s the whole reason he went to richmond in the first place. what changed? why is he going back now? for henry, yes, of course, that’s understandable. and at the same time, within the show we’ve been shown that the bond of a father and child is not always enough to get dad to stay/be a good and decent father (i.e. ted’s father, i.e. james tartt sr., i.e. rebecca’s father). this isn’t, of course, true for ted and henry, but i think it’s a point to make concerning everyone saying things about the child-parent bond being end-all, be-all. for some people, that’s true. for others, it isn’t. it isn’t a jab at anyone or the parent-child relationship in general, it’s just the truth. this is a coin that has two sides, y’know. got off course there but anyway, henry also could have gone to london, which i think might have been the best thing for him anyway, he seemed to have a good time there and he would have had a whole band of new brothers with all the himbos. michelle isn’t a bad mother by any means, but she’s got her own shit to work through if the whole doctor jacob thing was anything to go by. i also don’t think the show did all that great of a job showing us that henry had this super deep connection with his dad, but maybe that was just me lol. regardless, i still understood the bond and its importance and of course ted wanted to be there for his child. that part does make sense. the way it was gone about felt like a disservice though. ted’s expression at the end there doesn’t scream happy. he looked rather sad to me, like something was weighing on him still. and i’m sure there was. i don’t think he’s at peace with himself yet, or happy. maybe he’ll get happy in kansas. i hope he does. but getting to see rebecca’s “happily ever after” and not ted’s hurt my heart. guess i was hoping they would actually subvert the expectations and have him stay in the home he’d made for himself instead of going back to the place where he lost so much. why did he have to give up his found family and the job he loved (and was still actively learning about!! offsides!!) and the best friend he made and the support system he found (which, no matter your age or your progress, you always need a support system) and the community that had come to love him andandand- all ted did was sacrifice to make other people happy and better and this feels like another sacrifice because his mom guilt tripped him by saying something he already fucking knew (sorry i’m not a fan of dottie). i just don’t get it. how is his happy ending going back to the root of all his problems and staying there? just sucks, really, even if it was always the obvious outcome. sixth, i’m just mad all the signs lead to nowhere. the matchboxes, the army man, the bantr fakeout (will never, ever be over this one), the hotel room fakeout where they cut from rebecca to ted in the room and then he opens the door and it’s sassy, the romcommunism, the soulmatism. it wasn’t all for nothing, of course. their friendship is so important and i love it, but this ending felt like a big fuck you to it too because ted was so…distant. it almost felt like he didn’t care that much that he was leaving rebecca and it makes me super upset. all of this is based on the one-time watch from last night but tbh i don’t know if i can handle watching the episode again right now. it really did hurt, especially the way rebecca looked at him at the airport. tbh nothing can convince me she wasn’t at least a little bit in love with him. and, yes, i know. henry is ted’s everything and that’s so admirable and it’s not all about romance, and it’s not. but just let me believe what i want to believe. let me find the joys in the media i consume and if it’s the hope that two attractive, single, middle aged leads could have gotten with each other in the end and figured out how to be happy together, then so be it. i just hate seeing the hate from all sides, honestly, and a lot of people are legitimately really mean about it when this show is all about being kind. ted lasso is a beautiful series and, at the end of the day, it’s just another piece of media that the audience is free to interpret and pick apart however they want to. me, personally? i will continue to live in my delusional little world where ted and rebecca figure out that they belong together/i will pretend the last 10 minutes of the finale didn’t happen. thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[magicalrocketships]

Random fic ask i just made up: What is the nearest book to you right now, or what is the last movie you watched, and what would a fic based on that book/movie look like?

Any ship you want, and drawing however heavily or lightly on the plot of the book/movie as you want 😊

What a marvellous random fic ask you just made up. I'm just going to press pause on what I was actually going to talk about in this post and just circle around to the thing I've actually just been watching, which is ANOTHER detective show where the serious and methodical detective is derailed by being partnered (officially or unofficially) by a extrovert sometime-confidence-trickster who trades in being liked.

All I'm saying is (obvs acab) so let's throw this one BACK IN TIME, say the 1950s, and make Max a PRIVATE DETECTIVE somewhere around Monaco and have Daniel fall into his path as a bit of a playboy with a series of richer friends and girlfriends who kind of pay his way, and nobody really minds that Daniel can't afford to be in their set, because everyone loves him. Daniel's a bit bored, but he's got to keep in with the crowd who pay his way, and then there is a MYSTERIOUS DEATH at a club, and MAX shows up to investigate on behalf of some rich relative of the dead guy, and the whole time he's trying to investigate, there's this handsome vaguely hungover guy who keeps hanging around and asking questions and being annoying and getting in his way, but who actually gets doors open for Max because Max can't be bothered playing nice and he doesn't know the right people.

Daniel, fascinated by this single-minded, sometimes rude Dutch guy who always wears a variation of the exact same off-the-peg suit, and who is sharply focused on getting to the bottom of the death at the club, and Daniel finds himself blowing off his friends and the current divorcee paying his way in order to track possible leads through the back streets, and breaking into a YACHT and spending three hours cramped in a tiny room trying to listen to an illegal card game through the wall, and the whole time Max is pressed up against him, his breath warm against Daniel's throat, and Daniel's hand just settles on the curve of Max's ass, and Max trembles a little beneath his touch but they have to focus on the MYSTERIOUS DEATH and not on the way Daniel's lifelong need to be close to men is suddenly thrown into sharp focus.

And maybe it turns out that it's someone in Daniel's set, and Daniel's faced with the choice between telling the truth to Max or lying and saving his friend, and he chooses his Max and his rich friends exile him from their group. So it's just Daniel, trailing after Max, and Max takes him to this boat moored in a harbour down the coast, and it's small and familiar and private, and it's Max's, and it's where he goes when he's not working a case. And he takes the boat out to sea and makes a very boring lunch of soup and bread, and Daniel's sunbathing in small shorts, and they eat lunch and then Max, impulsively, leans over and presses his mouth to Daniel's. Daniel beams like the sun, and kisses him back.

Also, each subsequent mystery is just focused on someone else on the grid, like the mysterious death of Fernando's extremely rich wife, (Lance in the wings with his alibi and a lot more money than Fernando's wife) or George being framed for the death of the controlling partner in his law firm, eventually exonerated by photographer Alex, or the one with the BEES and the mysterious German guy who owns them. Saving unlucky Charles from always being in the wrong place in the wrong time, except this time he's discovering the body by tripping over it and finding the murder weapon stashed in his apartment. OH GOD maybe Charles is the Prince of Monaco. Anyway, whatever. And each mystery ends with Max and Daniel out on their boat, Daniel in a series of tinier and tinier shorts, Max with his gin and tonic and Daniel with a ridiculous cocktail, Max flushed with the sun and Daniel not regretting any of his choices in leaving his old life behind to solve mysteries with Max.

Please note that at no point in this ask did I refer to the rather lengthy Sweet Home Alabama AU plot I forced Sarah to listen to last week, which got out of hand and got too angsty and where I left it, Daniel was in hospital for the second time and Max was following him half way across the world and nobody was even mentioning divorce, so that went well. Two thumbs up to that.

[makriiii]

Caught XV (Arthur Morgan × f!reader)

Word count: 3.5k

Authors note: GUYS IM SO SORRY I LOVE YOU FORGIVE ME😭😭 THIS CHAPTER DOES NOT DISAPPOINT!! I rushed it just a bit, so there might be a few mistakes. I also have a few oneshot ideas that I both hope you'll like and that I'll get out soon. <3 ;)

Warnings: 18+, blood, cursing, alcohol, other stereotypical outlaw things.

♡

Caught XV

“I wish to god I’d passed her by…” the four of you harmonized, the sloshing of water from the sides of your boat making your voices compete with the noise level. “Taters got burnt n’ so did I! Mmm hmm mmm hmmm.”

The humming graduated into heavy chuckles between you, Arthur, Dutch and Hosea. Arthurs laugh was deep and hearty, a genuine sound you'd never heard from Arthur before and for once his eyes toward you seemed soft. You and him exchanging glances as you sang together, it was enjoyable to be with him for now.

From the way the day began, you hadn’t expected it to end like this, having this much fun singing along with these men, especially Arthur. However, given the earlier happenings, you and Arthur weren’t quite as haughty with each other - for now at least.

From the shoreline birds chirped and the sun set into heavy shades of purple, orange and yellow. Arthur's face aglow with the sun's painting, his face relaxed yet cautiously keeping his eyes from lingering on you for too long.

Once he realized you were still looking at him, he turned his hat down, erasing the light with the shadow of his hat. A small grin still peeked out from under his hat though.

Even a man as chronically grumpy as Arthur could be a bit more chipper at times. It was nice to be around him when he was like that, at least.

Before you knew it, Hosea and Dutch already had already agreed on the next song and one you well recognized from the times you spent with the O’Driscoll boys. “Well, we be three poor mariners, newly come from the seas!”

Arthur started singing along as you did, you weren't entirely sure, but he seemed to keep eyeing you.

The boat came to a sloshy, belated stop, granting you all a good position to pull out your rods and start your quest for dinner.

"I'll be redeeming my fishin' reputation today, boys." You announce proudly, casting your line out and praying for some sort of kind, large, preferably, hospitable fish to bite your hook.

Arthur scoffs and casts his out not too far from yours, giving you a competitive glare.

"See if you can outdo Arthur." Hosea remarks, attaching his lure to his line.

"You know, that actually reminds me of-"

(This is where Dutch tells everyone about Arthur's fishing story, supposedly catching a fish himself that was actually purchased. Which he doesn't like to hear as is but is even more irritated due to your presence. I was too lazy to write it and wanted to get this out sooner)

It'd been a good hour or so you lot had been out here, the sun nearly completely gone and you had caught only but a small perch.

It was looking glum for you, while Arthur was alit with delight.

"This is four. Maybe a good ten or so pounds, what do you think Dutch?"

"Good for dinner my boy, good for dinner."

You fought back a yawn as you scanned the water line, disappointed that your reputation was further tarnished. Small waves reflecting the nearly full moons light that had replaced the sun; thankfully, else it'd be pitch black.

"Y/n." Arthur coo's holding his wriggling fish out just for you to see. "I reckon it's time to get back, suppose your luck ran out today."

As you stared him down your whole body suddenly jerked forward, your hands unrelenting in their grip on your rod.

"What the hell.." You gasp out in disbelief as you start pulling your previoulsy preyed for, yet unkind and inhospitable fish in.

"Keep a hold on it, y/n!" Hosea encourages, now focused on you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Arthur's face of grim dismay, which you couldn't help but start smirking as you did your best to win this fat fish.

You waited till it tired out, then started reeling again. As it turned out to Arthur, your fishing ability was in fact existent.

While everyone sat in silence, only broken by the sloshing water underneath, you stood fighting your second catch of the day.

It wasn't until, with another surprising yank from your prey, did you realize you were too close to the edge and your boot stuck on the side of the bench in the middle, nearly leaning off the side.

"Shit." You curse as you try to regain balance as well as keep this fish on the line.

Arthurs hands gently slid onto your waist, pulling you closer to the center of the boat. You could feel his front on you for a short bit, a shiver running up your spine as your face heated.

For a second, you thought he was going to shove you in to go swim with the fish instead. But, that - that was different.

"Thanks, princess." You grant, although with angst, as your pride was still hurt from his earlier trophies.

"Psh." He scoffs, his hands slowly slipping off your sides. "I should toss you in as bait for that."

"Quit botherin' me." You scold and with a final, persistent tug, you finally got the fish close enough to the boat. Arthur quickly obliged and assisted you with getting the big bastard out of the water.

"Well, I reckon it's about as long as you, y/n!" Dutch chortles as he marvels at your catch, his eyes switching between the two of you for comparison.

If you were anything of the fisherman you said you were, you recognized it to be a sturgeon. A massive one at that.

"Looks to be a sturgeon you got there." Hosea confirms your thought, examining it closer while avoiding the droplets of water that flew from the fish's tail.

You bubbled with excitement and pride, holding the massive thing down.

Arthur had a nearly proud look on his face as he knelt beside you, absolutely gobsmacked with your catch.

"It's fair to say I'm a decent fisher, no?" You laughed, unable to contain your excitement.

"It's fair." Arthur admits, chuckling out his surprise, not even a man as petty as him could deny it.

—

The sun had now hidden itself well beyond the horizon by the time you had gotten back camp and floated up to, what was best described as skeletal remains of a dock.

Fires were lit and dim candle lights came from the tables. A warm setting to come back to, but as much as Dutch and Hosea seemed to disregard your presence as an O’Driscoll, the rest of camp hadn’t yet come around.

As you got out of the boat behind Hosea, Arthur helped you pull out your sturgeon, but his arm, you could tell, was still a bother.

"I can carry it," you gripped onto your fish harder, leaning back with the weight as you stepped one foot over the boat.

Arthur's hand on your shoulder stabilized you as you wobbled and swayed with your fish that you were unwilling to let Arthur help with. Whether out of kindness or pride, you didn't want to admit.

"Just let me take it, I have no problem with it."

"Well, I do, so let me have my fish where I want my fish." You hugged it with all your might as you walked up into camp with your catch, careful to not let it slip out of your grasp.

He started snickering, for what reason, you couldn't tell.

“What?” You grumble, clutching your sturgeon closer.

“Don't worry about it.” He dismisses, yet still laughing.

“Don't tempt me to sin against you, Morgan.”

“There's many ways you've threatened sin,” he retorted with a sneer, “some don't sound half bad now.”

You knew what he was referring to. The remarks you had made with innuendo that could be taken in a certain way - the way Arthur always took it.

“For you, the prices have gone up indefinitely.”

He feigned a big disappointed sigh, “Should've taken my chance when you only wanted five.”

That quickly prompted a raised brow, which of course, had him laughing even more. He was supposed to be showing his disagreement.

With your fresh fish in hand and Arthur lumbering behind you with his dinky fish, Pearson perks up as he looks you both up and down with eyes wide as a dinner plate.

Arthur slightly bumps into you as he stood by you, which prompted a grandiose gesture that the size of your fish was in fact bigger and he should be acting proper.

"Did you catch that?" Almost giggling with excitement as he ushers you guys to deliver them to the cutting board.

"I suppose I did." Your grin wide as could be, this was sure to be something you could hold over Arthur for a while.

"That should feed most of camp. Well done, O’Driscoll." With his hands on his hips, he contemplates his plan with it. "You're not so bad after all."

"Well, thank you, Pearson. At least some of you think so." You elbow Arthur, a suggestion to take a note.

He huffs out a grumble and side eyes you under his hat with a shake of his head. You return that with a big shiny smile, prideful and cocky as all hell.

As you and Arthur start floating away into camp without a direction, Pearson hollers for you both to come back to him.

"Arthur! Y/n!" He calls, waving you both over. With near perfect synchrony, yours and Arthur's shoulders slumped as you realized your work was not done for today. "Do you mind helping me prepare the food for tonight? Abigail and them are busied with work Ms. Grimshaw wants done."

You showcased Arthur and offered him up, volunteering his services. "I'm sure Arthur would be up for it. Kind as he is, cover for me as well."

Swiftly, you were met with a shove forward into Pearson's kitchen get up. "I'd be so glum without you by my side, y/n. 'Fraid I can't let you go."

"Oh, aren't you just darling tonight, Arthur." You mock in a sweet tone, picking up the knife next to uncut veggies. "A gentlemanly side I never thought I'd see."

"You two are quite the entertainers, aren't you?" Pearson interrupts, seemingly unbothered by the childish banter. "You remind me of two of my old crew members..."

Arthur immediately groaned, another story he had probably heard before. Though you were so focused on belittling Arthur, kindly, of course, that Pearson's voice seemed to just fade out, all it was was you and Arthur.

As he bent over to grab the water pails, you shoved your hip into his backside, throwing him off balance but not enough to knock him over.

He hisses something out as he stands to face you, staring you down.

You wave him off with your hand and start your work with the veggies left out for you. He was sat there plotting, not doubt, staring you down before he went to the lake to fetch water.

As you cut the veggies, Arthurs remark from just moments ago lingered with you. What you had meant and what he took it for was different, so what way did he mean what he said just now?

"Just neither of them had come close to dying so many times, I guess." Pearson continues, cutting into the fish as he has many times before. "You both seem to have a knack for it."

"I'd say Arthur started my string of bad luck." You clarified just as Arthur returned back with the full pails.

"Yet without me, you'dve never made it alive." He was quick to raise a brow and lay out his point.

You shook your head. You knew it was true, in some ways. Maybe you would've bled out on those mountains, or maybe, not.

"I guess we need each other then." You hinted toward the fact that you had kept his ass from getting buzzed multiple times, but the reaction you got wasn't quite expected.

His facial expression softened, just for a second, the gaslights and dim fire light adding to his quiet gaze as he stared at you.

It was only an ever so slight change, but nonetheless enough to make your stomach flutter. You searched his face as his eyes lay still on you.

"Need me to save you," he flips the switch, not a moment longer lingering on that look he gave you. "You like me to get you out of the trouble you get into."

Your face contorted and your eyes squinted as you took the blow, a blow you full well expected, despite that small encounter you just had.

It didn't feel normal, but it hadn't not happened before between you and Arthur. There were things going on between you and this big rat of a man that shouldn't be going on.

"Hmm." You hum along, grabbing out your flask for a well deserved drink, even more so after all the quality Arthur time you had today. "That's not how I remember most of it."

He walks right up close, all the while with a haughty look on his face, the reason for it was quick to be figured.

Arthur snatches your flask right as you were about to take a swig of it, instead finishing off the last of what you had left in there.

You glared at him angry and then jabbed his side with your fingers, making him tilt over quick, trying to fend off your attacks.

"Well, hell, woman!" He chuckles, handing back your flask as he holds onto his side. "There wasn't even that much in there." He made it sound like you had promised him you'd save some for him.

—

You had done your best, you really had. Finally giving up on trying to eat the meal Pearson had made for camp.

"Oh.." Arthur groans, taking his hat off and holding it against his chest to pay his respects as he examined what Pearson had done to the fish in the stew.

You both sat there proper defeated, your prized fish in a supper that was - well, edible enough, but not by choice.

There was too much water, rendering the fish tasteless, and the broth just faintly tasting of the potato and carrot you had cut up. It was salty, as salt was also used as the substitute for all other spices.

Arthur tilted his head back, finishing his first bottle of booze that you both had rummaged for. It was enough, luckily to stave off the discontent attitude toward the dinner.

You yawned in your dreary, tipsy state as you reached for your bottle that now matched your flask. Empty.

"What're we supposed to do now?" You pout, not in your right mind, whether it was due to the stew or drinking, you were beyond being able to tell.

He scoffs, shaking his head. "Drink."

Your bottle was empty, so you weren't drinking, but he was.

You scooched closer as he hung his head back, chugging down his second drink and as soon as he set it down, you snatched it.

He made a half hearted attempt to grab it back, his hands around your wrist, yanking you lightly in his haze.

“C’mon now, y/n.” He grumbles, “let a man have his booze.”

You glanced over at him as he made next to no effort to take his bottle back, now it just seemed like his touch lingered, neglecting to pull his hands off you.

His brows rested even, relaxed, and most of all tired. His eyes reflecting the somber feeling of going hungry tonight.

As you greedily slurped up the rest of the alcohol in your hands, you suddenly felt a familiar touch.

Arthurs head fell softly on your shoulder, his weight leaning into you. He smelt of beer, fish, and grime. Probably exactly what you smelled of too but your nose so thoughtfully became blind to it.

You watched him drowsily, the occasional half drunk hiccup both of you had interrupting the otherwise complete stillness.

“Let me see your arm.” You didn't give him a chance to even oblige before grabbing it yourself.

“What-” He questions before hissing out and wincing as you prodded his wound. The fabric had done it's job with stopping the bleeding, but now the blood dried and effectively stuck to his arm. “Can't you be more kind with me now?”

“I don't reckon you've earned it, Mister Morgan.” His satchel was stuffed aside on the table, which you had no qualms with rummaging through as if it were your own.

You felt his eyes burning through you as you searched for his first aid items. Certainly questioning the gall you had to willy-nilly through his things.

The more you searched, the less you came closer to finding the gauze and ointment he kept, which had you confused. The bag he had wasn't that big.

Out of the corner of your eye, his cocky little look worked it's way back into full force.

“Maybe you'll finally let me help you?” Arthur asks, gently pulling his arm out of your lap to show you where he had it.

A tiny, badly sewn and hidden pocket near the bottom left had what you were looking for tucked away.

You considered him for a moment as he set out the things on the table in front of you, offering his arm back.

“Thanks ever so kindly.” You granted with a sarcastic drawl, tending to his arm now.

Most of camp was asleep now, the fires burning out. Soft snores and otherwise quiet conversation from some of the members still awake.

As the minutes ticked by, you finished Arthurs arm, leaving it where it was on your lap, not particularly thinking about moving it.

Sitting there with Arthur, again, on your shoulder, his quiet breathing, his completely relaxed state - it was all strange, yet so calming.

“Arthur?” You beckon in a whisper, trying to see if he was asleep, remaining still for him.

“Hm.” He musters, barely a conscious response.

The question you wanted to ask perhaps wasn't the best suited for this moment, but it was the only time you felt you'd get a truthful response.

“Why is it you let me stick around?”

That elicited more of a reaction from the drunk, sleepy Arthur at your shoulder. He turned his head to meet your eye for a second, not even bothering to remove himself from your space.

“You're a capable young lady. Useful.” His voice labored, but thoughtful. “Despite the trouble you give me for it.”

You stared at the candle on the middle of the table, waxy run off further plastering it to the table.

“You felt that outweighed the risk of me ratting you lot out?”

“Are you confessing?” He murmurs, uncaring entirely, despite the possibility your words held an admission.

“I have no bad conscience.”

He hums out a dismissal of your bothers. “Everyone will warm up to you eventually.”

That felt like it would take years. If you were so lucky.

“You think so?” You continue, hoping the future he proclaimed was to be true. “Well, I suppose you have.” You let a small chuckle out at what you were obviously pointing out, which had Arthur effectively turn to hide his face closer to your shoulder.

That had put an end to the conversation, you finally allowed him the peace to sleep. And on you, nonetheless. You recalled easily the other morning where you had given him much guff for it.

As you stared into the flickering candle light, you realized you no longer heard the rest of camp. At this point, you had no clue what time it could have possibly been.

It was this man who had gotten you here. The one you fought tooth and nail with day by day, and still the one who had your back many times over the course of just a few short months.

He ruined your life.

That was one way to put it. Ruined and completely turned the trajectory of your future. Though, as many cons as there were, the pros seemingly started to outweigh what had transpired.

He wasn’t a terribly unsightly man neither, you had to admit. And now you had him asleep on your shoulder, his arm around your torso and you were letting it happen.

But his thoughts about you were only as confusing as how you felt about him. You didn't know if he actually wanted to be around you or if he just felt responsible to watch over you, as your O’Driscoll status still flew high with the people in camp.

And that picture- the pretty lady he had kept away in his things.

The longer you sat, the less you wanted to move him. As much as you felt it was what you should do, you couldn't muster it.

Your eyelids grew heavy as the surrounding fell deeper into the darkness of night. You hesitated before your cheek rested gently atop Arthur's head.

~~~

<33

[codename-adler]

YOUR TROJAN TEAM?!?!?! flabbergasted. sooooo many lil guys u got there!!!

mayhaps some info on #21, Levi Romanov? love the name, very intriguing <3 or any of your choice, really, whichever you feel like sharing the most!!

oh boy. oh god. Levi's such a big file. u really know how to pick 'em Roo 😂 prepare to be sick of me...... (also ty sm for being chatty n enabling <3) //official unofficial USC Trojans OCs list here//

21: Levi Romanov (22) USC Trojans Backliner

[ face subject to change]

aight let's bullet point this:

born in USA (Alaska); child of immigrants (Belarusian father (born Alaska, parents 1st gen immigrant), Dutch mother (1st gen immigrant))

5'6½" (the half inch is important)(to Levi)(not the Trojans tho)(esp. not Jeremy)

BA: Communication (USC Annenberg)

goes Pro after college

bffs: Nikita & Angie

brother-from-another-mother w/ Nikita Bailey (their mothers are bff, grew up together in Alaska); Nikita is his bff/older brother figure/idol so he joins him in playing Exy (v popular in Alaska) and follows him to USC when he graduates HS

now for the love & tragedy chaos...................

both he and Nikita have a steady relationship with their longtime girlfriends, so much so that Levi talks to Nikita about proposing to his gf after graduation

one day though the 4 of them get into a car/boating accident that kills Levi's girlfriend and seriously injures Nikita's; Levi and Nikita are somehow miraculously the least damaged

it's a rough fucking patch for Levi (and Nikita, but that's a story for another day!)

enter Angie Pullman, Trojans recruit (ask!!! me!!!)

both men are immediately drawn to her, and inevitably it ends up in a big fight that creates a (temporary) rift between Levi and Nikita

luckily it ends up being an Adam/Gansey/Blue/Ronan situation (do you see where i'm going with this?)

because the thing is, there's this guy, Anderson [subject to change] Atwell

the assistant coach

ohohoho yes

Anderson’s really been there for Levi after the accident, bc he's been much more of a confidant to Levi than any of the team's therapists, probably because he's not a therapist; and then the shit with Angie and Nikita really isolates Levi, and slowly Anderson can't help but wanting to help Levi as much as he can, more than assistant coaches probably normally feel...

so Levi's not as straight as he thought, not in love with Angie like that like he thought, much more in love with Nikita than he always thought, and definitely, definitely super hard in love with his assistant coach (you see the Adam/Blue/Gansey/Ronan pattern?) (except there is nothing whatsoever between Nikita and Anderson. in fact Nikita probably hates him a little bit actually. fr fr.)

also before anyone sends me anon hate about my own OCs, the Levi-Anderson age gap is 22-30, so calm downnnn

so yeah Levi & Anderson, once they're all in and go all out, are disgustingly happy; but the hurdles are many and exhausting (i have another ask incoming for Coach Rhemann, which will coincidentally explain really well said obstacles)

i would say, apart from Jean Moreau himself obv and Adèle Moreau, Levi is the most tragic Trojan :(

especially because he used to be such a goofy ass mf, and so hyped about Exy on and off the court, before the accident, and nowadays he's much more a shell of himself, doesn't care much about Exy outside the court, always plays his very best but his heart's not into it, feels disconnected from his team and teammates, etc.

Anderson's the one to lead him back to his love for the sport <3

Jeremy did try very hard as his captain to reignite the flame inside Levi, of course, but let's say he had a little less incentive than with the Frenchman... if ya know what i mean... but Levi's just glad even his captain never gave up on him

birthday's June 1st //lmao beginning of pride month and i didn't even do that on purpose//

originally Levi was named Reuben Muller and he was German-American? but i decided to split the character in 2 and thus Levi & Nikita were born!

his bestfriend, apart from Nikita who has known since birth almost, is Jack Driver; they hit it off instantly the first time they practice together on the court (it also helps that Jack is both a moron and a wise man. very in touch with his feelings. it just depends if his brain cells are activated or taking a nap…)

once the drama settles down Angie also becomes one of his close friends

he’s an only child [pitiful]

did i mention his ADHD? oh he has big big big ADHD… he often forgets his meds, and he’s prone to lash out (mostly at himself) or zone out, but Exy really helps a lot with both his bottomless restless energy and his self-worth <3

on the meds thing: that was such a battle. for everyone involved. Levi, the doctors, his gf, his parents, Nikita... it was just barely starting to go well when the accident happened, and well. the step from ADHD to depression is already so small, Levi had no chance. but he's climbing up the hill again now :)

so Levi's kind of the dark version of Jeremy, or like a past younger iteration of Jeremy before he got to be the Captain Sunshine we know and love (and that's partly why Jeremy has trouble connecting w him, befriend him, even look at him sometimes); he doesn't talk much anymore, except to fight and curse, but then he turns around and drops by with a pan of brownies for the new girl because he saw her eating one all alone and sad in the athletes' hall, you know? he's very hard to pin down, even more so now that the constants in his life have been taken away or flipped :/ but he's a precious dude, trust me!

[louis-quatorze]

watching the Amsterdam episode now

ongoing thoughts

- why are they even playing Ajax. what level are Richmond at. when is this. if this is the international break why is Ajax playing. you’d assume Richmond would also have internationals (Sam at least, right?). god the actual football in this show drives me fucking insane. (I know the answer is “Sudekis and Hunt wanted to go back to Amsterdam on Apple’s dime” but still)

- this is exactly how all Dutch sports journalists talk and it is so funny to see non-Dutch people deal with it 

- graag gedaan

- Jamie’s Facts of Amsterdam

- Rebecca the bike lanes are obvious. Get out of the red! (Also most canals in the center don’t even have those)

- you can swim in the canals but I wouldn’t in the city center (out of it, though, or along the Ij is often fine)

- Johan Cruyff is, indeed, that cool. I miss him

- hehehe herring

- it is extremely funny that Jan’s suggestion is going to Groningen which is extremely Groningen of him. but also what is Martin Garrix doing up there

- if it’s Museumnacht and also possible to see the Northern Lights it’s the wrong time of year for a tulip, sorry Dani. they can probably get you one of those wooden ones though.

- seriously though why are you bringing drugs to the Netherlands the best drugs are here and we’re proud of it

- the himbos are the only part of this show that are still a comedy

- the Dutch is funny though (including the not-translated bits) and hearing Jan talk it is also funny

- niet gezellig, hé

- Jamie’s cute in his little Grealish hair

- hey it’s Prik! I have spent a decent amount of time in that bar considering I don’t even live in Amsterdam. it’s a cute bar, good crowd, my friend used to work there. it’s not on the main street of gay bars, which probably makes it less intimidating to Colin. 

- gezellig

- Boat Guy is extremely Dutch (positive)

- oh here’s where they’re using Zij gelooft in mij. It’s cute!

- lmao at Jamie getting some “used bikes” off a junkie on the street. you don’t see that much any more (particularly where they were) but when Hunt and Sudekis used to live there it was pretty common

- everyone’s said this but it is sweet that Colin and Trent’s conversation is at the Homomonument. (also not far from Prik even if you stop for beers.) 

- just realizing that this is a very dry night in Amsterdam, not common

- everyone has such great Facts About Amsterdam. good job being the Amsterdam tourist board, cast of Ted Lasso

- what strings did Ted have to pull to get a Museumnacht ticket at random

- Richard is right, they should not try Dutch food, it’s bad. note Jan was not suggesting it. (seeing them all pile into a FEBO would be funny though)

- extremely sweet that they manage to get a discussion of the word “gezellig” into this. if I didn’t already know that they were fond of the Netherlands, that would do it.

- hey it’s Derek! He has lines! (He’s the waiter Ted takes a pen from.) That’s actually pretty exciting, he wasn’t sure he would actually be in the show, it’s his first TV role

- there are American-themed restaurants here and they are often like that and it’s extremely funny. I’m obsessed with all of them

- Hunt showing off his Dutch. I didn’t realize until this episode that he was here for 10 years, that’s pretty serious

- if Beard had got his drugs in the Netherlands they wouldn’t have been duds you know

- Roy is a lot braver than me, I tried riding on the back of a bike once and it sucked ass

- in the end, this is a pretty sweet tribute to Amsterdam - you can tell that they’re affectionate towards the city and the Dutch and wanted to show that. I’m charmed by how much they clearly just wanted to showcase the city and its charms, and I think they did a good job of it. 

[blorbocedes]

hi nicologist blorbie, i like nico but i find his media personality kinda... too polished? like george russell but with more personality. like he's doing a performance but maybe it's just his overly therapized self-awareness. ur thoughts?

hshdjdj hello anon... welcome to the pantheon of the same complaint nico has faced his whole life 😫😭 from 2013-2016, to all the way back in Williams he was called ranging from "doesn't have a sense of humour/too German" to "too stoic/wooden/PR focused" the George Russell before George Russell. let's break down your question

the 2016 media narrative was actually "Lewis Hamilton parties every week vs Nico Rosberg has given up all pleasures to life to eat oatmeal and train" and their press con pictures were Nico being 😶. couple that when he was put against the other German on the grid, the naturally charismatic and joking seb vet, nico absolutely came across as a stick up his ass.

now, obviously, as you have called me a nicologist I'm going to have a biased take. let's talk about media personalities -- everyone has them. even the most animated of blorbos, daniel playing up being funny, lewis with his peace and love, even fernando refusing to explain what el plan is everytime 😈 (this is a man who owns being a menace)

some people refuse to play into theirs as much, like max, and accordingly the media characterises him as blunt/straightforward/harsh. the media is nicer to you when you work with them, which is why Daniel is such a media darling and the face of DTS, despite not being a top 5 race contender.

nico has always been aware of how he's perceived. there's a will buxton article about it that's pretty fascinating. even before entering f1, he knew he'd be World Champion's Son and his media personality while he was a driver reflected that; diplomatic, uncontroversial, says the right and boring thing (and yes, even lying about it 🤭 my darling care has the receipts). my fav nico moments are when he'd break off it a bit — the iconic "if Lewis wants to change something then he can drive cleanly himself" agdjjd while jenson went O_O [obv media personality =/= how they actually are]

present day nico, as an f1 commentator, I'm very curious what your idea of polished media personality is. cause to me, that means someone who is milquetoast, wouldn't rock the boat, impersonal and says the 'right' thing. nico is the guy who said Ferrari's current strategy team is worse than an F2/F3 team live on air 😭 (as he should), the guy who asked lando point blank what the difference is between p3 and p4 (who didn't know 😭 bless his heart), who said yeah why should max go into a corner thinking lewis is gonna miss the apex

peak rosberg shit stirring hehe

I actually don't even agree with nico always, like for instance when he said merc should've prioritised lewis over george in dutch (?) gp. like don't make me defend george but he was right on his call for softs and prioritising His race, but that's whatever

not a huge fan of the term overly therapized~ cause a lot of Nico insults is "this man needs to go to therapy" and when they find out he HAS they're like "this man has had Too Much therapy" like 😭😭😭 he cannae win...... I do call him the most therapized man of all time, but that's gentle ribbing. when people say it anonymously w/o any way for me to extrapolate intent I'm a bit hm 🤥

cause like if he was saying things like emotional labour and 'speaking my truth' that claim would have more weight... but you know who Would say things like that? [redacted] 🔫

coming back to your question. every f1 driver is doing a performance with their public persona, some are better some are worse. Nico is no longer in f1 as a driver and doesn't need to be careful and measured anymore, and To Me is one of the few fun personalities in f1 as a commentator. you can totally disagree cause it's a matter of personal preference.

Post retirement Nico, having a YouTube channel for Years and playing into the memes (his ig comments are a nightmare of the same equal machinery joke) is perhaps more aware than most how people see him. he also doesn't need to care as much, he can laugh at himself -- at his own expense. he even posted what is essentially a taking L's compilation

if his polished persona is coming across as a cringe girldad who is way too excited about electric cars then by god he's the greatest male manipulator out there

obv if you find him too curated/inauthentic that's your prerogative, but I I would ask; have you actually watched the guy or are you going off public consciousness/someone else's interpretation. i wish he was as conniving and calculating now as people gave him credit for, unfort this is a dude who geeks out over finding a charging station in Italy.

love him, hate him, you can't deny he's fun

[nogoodninny]

Okay! Character Analysis Time!

So we all love the whole lesbian couple meant to mirror the main characters trope

But it goes more in depth

Okay, so let’s start with

Anne Bonny was the illegitimate daughter of a servant woman and the lawyer she worked for. Lawyer man’s wife was ill and moved away, and He started the affair which resulted in a baby.

The lawyer in question decided to tell everyone Anne was legitimate, and they moved to London where Anne became “Andy” and was raised as a boy to be a lawyer clerk or something

His wife continued to pay an allowance to take care of the baby. but when she found out he’d taken Anne and was raising him as Andy, she stopped paying him, meaning he’d have to fend for himself.

Once again the family had to move, this time they wanted to blend in more. Dad tried to set up as a Lawyer but wasn’t nearly as successful as before, but he eventually was able to finance a fancy place to live. Anyway, Mum died when she was like, 12.

She had some anger issues and apparently she ended up stabbing some chick.

Anyways I’m comes James Bonny, who was after daddy’s money, wooed young Anne and they got married

Dad didn’t like James and was like Fuck You James, and disowned Anne.

Anyway, legend has it that Anne got mad and burned down Dad’s estate. Which isn’t a proven thing, but I find it funny because she burns down the antique shop in the show, and in both cases she did out of love (sorta)

Anyway they ended up on Nassau and that’s where she met John Rackham (Calico Jack). James turned snitch which Anne didn’t like so she’s like Fuck You, imma be a pirate. So she ran off with Jack, and not too long after she met Mary

Who was also disguised as a man btw. Both of them were raised as a boy at some point in their childhood, so they had that in common.

Anyway. “Andy” thought “Mark” was super cute, so she went to him and is all, Hey, you’re cute, did you know I’m actually a girl. And “Mark,” was all like “no way! Me too!”

So yeah. Jack caught on to the whole thing and was all I think you’re having an affair with Mark, so Imma kill him. and Anne was like, look Babe, Mark is actually a girl! So you don’t have to kill anyone!

and Jack’s like, oh ok, good point! No reason to be jealous than!

Ok, so Mary Read!

Mary Read was also an illegitimate child! Her mum was married to a fancy sailor who got lost at sea! He was the father of Mary’s half brother what’s his name. So grandma began giving Mum some money to help with her grandson.

Mary’s Mum gets pregnant! Surprise! And it’s not from sailor man cause he’s probably dead. And then What’s His Name dies! Not soon after her half brother dies, Mary is born, and scared and ashamed, Mum decides to pretend that Mary is what’s his name. Plus this way Grandma still pays. Child support, and since she’s old and grandma like, she is fooled.

Anyway, Mary spent most of her life dressed as a man. She joins the military because she is awesome and an amazing fighter, she is very successful. Then she meets this Flemish dude and falls in love and they get married.

She actually opens and runs an inn while they were married, called the Three Horse Shoes or something like that. But in some other language. Probably Dutch cause it was the Netherlands. This isn’t important, but I thought I’d mention it for obvious reasons

So Flemish guy dies and she’s like, where, time to join the Military again, dressed as a dude pretending her name was Mark.

She got bored of the military and decided to move to the West Indies for some reason. So she got on a boat that was boarded by pirates. And she’s like, yeah. I could be a pirate.

Anyways after a King’s Pardon and a mutiny, and shit, she ended up joining up with Calico Jack and Anne Bonny.

There she remained until they were caught and sentenced to execution.

Anyway, Anne and Mary were all like, you can’t kill us because we’re pregnant, you can’t kill a pregnant lady, that’s like murdering a baby or something, this is called pleading the belly btw

And they were like, yeah okay, we can just kill you after you have the babies or something,

So they both ended up with stays of execution and Mary ended up getting sick and dying in prison.

Now there are so many parallels between all four characters I could write an essay on it. Unfortunately, I don’t really want too

[xaeyrnofnbe]

ok whatever y'all are hearing it anyway whether you like it or not

overly specific idea for how i'd want tedbecca to get together over the course of a hypothetical season 4

ok so:

this story starts with ted returning to the club after about a year away, early in the day so he can catch rebecca for biscuits with the boss

and rebecca's been like. hardcore yearning. ted has too he's just been less aware about it

ted hands over the biscuits and jokes that rebecca's more excited about them than she is about him, which turns into a dorky awkward-sweet moment. the romantic tension and pauses have been dialed up to 11 btw

rebecca mentions that she broke up with dutch boat guy, and we find out he actually kinda sucked. just trust me on this. his vibe was weird alright

he mentions that he's been going to therapy, rebecca asks how that's been going, we flash back to a session with whatshername (i'm blanking rn. sorry) where the doctor comments on how he only ever seems to want to talk about rebecca (similar to on the good place, iykyk) and he does that awkward-blank-smile thing he does when he gets unexpectedly read by her. flash back to the present and he says therapy's been going fine

rebecca asks about an article he had sent a bit ago about a lioness becoming leader of a pride, confused about its relevance to the text conversation they had been having. he explains that it reminded him of her, which she then quickly understands and appreciates

later on, same day probably, rebecca's talking with keeley and it comes up that rebecca and ted never really. talked? while they were apart. they texted and shared things but it was very stilted even though ted had kept up pretty actively with other members of the club. hmm weird

at some point, probably an episode or two later, everyone's closing up shop for the day. ted holds the door to the parking lot open for rebecca like in season 1, and jokes about deja vu. they chat briefly, rebecca says how great it is to have ted back, and even though they didn't talk much while he was away, she really did miss talking to him.

he invites her to walk and catch up on everything they missed, even though her car is right there, and to his surprise, she hastily agrees.

cue short montage of them walking through town, swapping stories which have been cut at humorous places. they arrive at rebecca's home and she stands in the doorway as ted says that he almost forgot to give her this, and pulls a goofy-looking stuffed lioness in a dress out of his backpack. he says his cousin or something makes them and he put in a request

rebecca is so touched by the gesture she announces "i could kiss you!"

awkward silence. staring.

"goodnight ted." "yup. goodnight." she slams the door and ted walks home

not really sure what goes here. but a good chunk of time is just more buildup and cute moments. at some point though, rebecca sits down with jamie of all people, and asks for his advice on a hypothetical workplace romance with ted. and that he keep this conversation a secret. he, in his infinite wisdom, tells her that she should just go for it and tell him how she feels bc it'll be great for her either way, A. he doesn't feel the same way and likes her as a friend anyway and now rebecca can be more open and comfortable with her feelings, or 2. he DOES feel the same way, on which case it'll all be fine bc they love each other and he's ted.

rebecca tries to argue, saying that emotional vulnerability like that is terrifying, and change is terrifying, and jamie just kinda gives the same advice and they go back and forth a bit until she dismisses him

there's also some stuff probably about ted realizing more about his feelings for her but ehhh i don't really have any ideas for that just yet

more time passes. late-season episode now. time for the bombshell of the year, tension has been rising and begging for a payoff and they're both well aware of their feelings at this point, and just kinda waiting for the moment to bring it up. well, this is that moment. rebecca appears in the doorway to his office and he apologizes for not being here for it last year, and is just barely done jabbering when rebecca strides over and plants one on him, which is met by shock and then reciprocation. a brief pull away, ted is speechless for once, before they kiss again.

they're interrupted this time by the team cheering in the other room, having seen the whole thing through the window. ted hurries and closes the blinds and returns to rebecca, and they giggle and discuss what they should tell the team, as they clearly have to say SOMETHING now

cut to ted addressing the team, who are all interjecting their (mostly positive) opinions on the matter, (sam has some mild concerns and discomforts,) which ted shuts down, and also scolds them for invading a private moment like that. but still, he gives them a talk not unlike a parent talking to their kids about a new partner. it's cute, it's silly, mcadoo asks if this means they love each other. zoom in on ted's face as he says yes. (but in a more ted way y'know). the team cheers again

i also have a loose idea for them going to a fancy event sometime later and getting all dressed up, and it's basically an excuse for them to flirt and be affectionate publicly for the first time, and ted jokes about it being sorta like a prom, and all sorts of shenanigans ensue. they sneakily make out somewhere. it's all very silly and feelgood and lighthearted

the biggest thing i haven't really had ideas for is any more angsty scenes, which of course there would have to be. some of my favorite scenes of them in the show are of them being there for each other during impossibly hard times and terrible emotions, so of COURSE there'd have to be a lot of that. oh well. i hope you get a sense of the picture i'm trying to paint here

[valpwca]

ishmael's notes on the pequod:

you'd think being captain is pretty important but look what good is a captain, knower of boats? like sure we're at sea ON a boat but we're here for whales!! i mean obviously a knower of boats isn't useless but what's also not useless is a KNOWER OF WHALES but that's a shitty title so they used the word SPECKSNYDER which means FAT-CUTTER in uhhhhhhhh ??????? german (??????????) i'm basically too pretty to know about languages i'll check later

[LATER: i checked it's dutch but spelled speksnijder]

anyway the SPECKSNYDER or these days the SPECKSIONEER (degenerate fucking term!!!! whaling rules now but it ruled so much more before, god i wish that were me) is the like. chief harpoon guy. because a guy who's good at killing whales is probably also good at knowing about whales, like, generally, so it makes more sense to have him in charge of whale-killing than to have the boat knower be in charge, right?? ANYWAY the chief harpoon guy gets his own room just like ahab & could theoretically make that into a whole thing because the rigidity of ship hierarchy & whatever BUT we have ahab, right, as our boat knower, & he's too... regal? knowledgeable? wise? deep? goth??? actually yeah he's too goth to get above himself & that means he only craves perfect obedience in a manner that i am 100% certain i am absolutely completely utterly normal about i am not taking further questions at this TIME

anyway you know what's fucked up? russia

[after-the-end-times]

Hm. So the more I think about that look between Sam and Rebecca at the movie, the more I think Rebecca's s3 self discovery journey was set up during her break up with Sam and to get her back to Sam

'Cause Sam and Rebecca broke up, not because of the 20 year age difference or any other irreconcilable issues, but because Rebecca said she needed to work on herself first

She said she was too afraid of being hurt to stay with him

But then she experienced Dutch Boat Guy where she allowed herself to just feel and be without worry, without what-ifs and what-abouts.

And then she faced Rupert in that board room. But not as some monster she needs to defeat on the pitch or some machiavellion villain. But as a emotionally manipulative lousy ex-husband

All of this so she could become better settled in her own skin and to feel like she's someone who deserves "someone wonderful"

...Personally, I think the writers could've done a better job showing that Sam and Rebecca still hoped to get back together and were actually working towards that. If sambecca was the endgame journey the whole time, the writers could've at least shown us something more than awkward encounters and long looks

[mexicangela]

everyone’s up in arms about even the idea of moving henry to richmond and, in reality, this sort of thing happens all the time in real life. life happens, families have to move for work, kids have to move because of divorce and custody battles, what have you. anyway that’s not really the whole point of this post.

the point of this post is to call attention to the fact that no one’s big mad about dutch guy having a young daughter who’s life would be uprooted if he and rebecca are to be long term. and the truth is it’s because we don’t really care about her. we didn’t see her onscreen until the very end and she was only mentioned in 3.06 so we don’t care about her the way we care about henry. maybe that sounds a bit cruel, but when it comes to media we work with what we’re given.

and, by that logic, how are we meant to believe that ted has a support system in place in kansas? we never saw it. never even heard him mention a current friend or other family aside from dottie that lives in kansas. how are we to know the life he had before richmond? besides, of course, the marriage he shared with a woman who played the “it’s not you, it’s me” card (“but actually it was you, you’re too much for me to handle sorry ‘bout it”). i can only assume they shared many, if not all, of the same friends and if ted went to the uk, then who would they have remained friends with? the logical answer is michelle. and, generally, you can have good friends in one place but when you go to another place you can drift apart. it’s human nature. so why should we think ted has a support system that isn’t all the way across the ocean?

and to talk on that point: that ted still has a support system, it’s just long distance now. well, it isn’t the same is it? talking over the phone or texting people isn’t the same as being able to see their faces, being able to reach out and hug them or take their hand. it’s incredibly difficult to have someone who is part of your support system who also lives so far away from you. it’s devastating, actually. because you know they love you and you know they’re there for you, but you can’t touch them, you can’t hug them, you can’t feel their presence in the same way. it’s really fucking hard to love someone so much from so far away and to want nothing more than to feel their arms around you or hear their voice right there in front of you or see the care in their eyes. god, it fucking sucks.

so, yes, i also understand ted’s need to be with henry.

and also i have my reservations because what parent thinks it’s just a chill thing to do to pin all your happiness on your child and expect them to fulfill you like that? what kind of messed up complexes can that create? i’d never want my parents to sacrifice their happiness for me. in fact, i resent my parents for sacrificing their happiness because they thought i needed a nuclear family model when really i just needed happy parents. that’s not to say that’s what everyone needs, it’s just how i personally relate to it.

in the end, i just wish i could’ve seen ted with an expression of genuine happiness on his face and not that “at peace” or whatever it was look in his eyes. i mean, you can be at peace that someone you love has died, but you certainly aren’t happy about it.

this was supposed to end after my point about boat man’s daughter but i got carried away because i love ted so much and i’m worried about him. 😭

[cherish--these--times]

"Pedestrian" like tedbecca isn't a literal unicorn when it comes to tv relationships & actually good and non-toxic friends to romance. All the soulmatetisms aside, two people like Ted and Rebecca in love and having healthy romances isn't generic and pedestrian. Especially in this show, where we have seen a wonderful and supportive partnership with m/f couple Roy and Keeley which could have been mishandled easily in any other show. Don't get me wrong I love Hannah and its not like she can say it about this show but this show has already done pedestrian cw tier things like a contrived Roy/Keeley breakup there was no context for (s2 did NOT do enough to justify it) and they're on thin ice with Jack/Keeley with the rupertisms and portraying the first wlw relationship on the show with a power imbalance like that. Tedbecca becoming canon would be the least pedestrian thing at this point esp on a show that has shown itself to not be above "pedestrian" writing. Boat guy was about as generic pedestrian meetcute as you could get. How is that not "safe"?

You are right and you should say it! Dutch Guy's storyline is so cliche... Worse, his advances were borderline creepy and media should stop portraying that stuff as romantic.

However, using their short lived romance as a conduit to prove to Rebecca that what she seeks in a partner (creepiness aside) was there all along in the man she deeply knows and adores and who was not hell bent on getting in her pants? Brilliant. Stellar. 10 out of 10.

I'm low key hoping he will return (that would explain the casting call for the young Dutch girl) and we could establish once and for all that this was one of these giant red flags that she missed. Not holding my breath though.

I've said this in response to another post but I'll repeat it here. If this was Ted or Rebecca falling in love at first sight, or they became best friends and at the last minute, oh, we're in love, I would personally never have rooted for them as strongly as I do. Sure, it's nice. But it's been done before, loads of times. Talk about generic and pedestrian…

But that's not what's happening here. Instead, the writers made perfectly clear that these two were always gonna meet and improve each other's lives, by virtue of them being themselves, fully, good and bad.

Rebecca lost her way and Ted helped her find herself again. Showed her instant and unwavering support. Not as a friend, but as a human recognising a fellow human for who they were, what they were going through, and he was not gonna sit idly by and do nothing. Similarly, Rebecca had a sixth sense from the get go when Ted was struggling, even when she was still trying to sabotage him. She couldn’t help but want to make him better. That's the premise. That's how it all started. It's perfect. It's beautiful. Reducing them to the leading man and woman getting together at the end is undermining what they share in so many ways it makes me sad.

They're still not friends but we are witnessing instead them going through similar journeys, mostly not crossing paths, having gone through life altering trauma, at exactly the same second!! Cheering each other on. Being what the other needs to flourish. Unknowingly connected to one another in a way that only us, by design, are privy to. Fuck me!

Also, they had endless opportunities to set them up with someone else. Sassy, Dr. Sharon, Sam, Dutch Guy, John…. But they didn’t. Drives me nuts 😅

I mean yeah. We’ll see what happens but the cast seems pretty adamant we’re not going there. So… On verra bien.