#I actually didn't watch many qualifying movies this year. It was a year of many re-watches and some 2024 releases.

[videomessiah]

Top First Time Watches of the Year (Thank you @pierppasolini for tagging me!)

Rules: post 9 of your favorite films you saw for the first time this year that aren’t new (2023/2024) but are new to you and tag 9 others to do the same.

Twin Sitters (1994) - John Paragon (The greatest movie of all time. 10 out of 10.)

Metalhead (2013) - Ragnar Bragason

The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz (1974) - Ted Kotcheff

Eve's Bayou (1997) - Kasi Lemmons

Legend of Destruction (2021) - Gidi Dar (The English dub I saw was released this year, but I'm still counting it.)

Pankow ‘95 (1983) - Gábor Altorjay

The Iceman Cometh (1989) - Clarence Fok

Down Twisted (1987) - Albert Pyun

Organ (1996) - Kei Fujiwara

If you haven't done this yet and are just itching for an excuse to share your favourites, you are now hereby tagged.

[thestrangestthlng]

Public Figures Owe You Nothing

Same thing, different fandom. Now, my first soiree into internet fandom was Glee nearly fifteen years ago. Given insane popularity of the show and one of their two main couples, Klaine, and Darren Criss being a straight man, I am no stranger to the "only gay (out) queer actors should play queer roles" argument.

I don't necessarily disagree completely. Queer actors should be highlighted in queer roles. But guess what, the film industry is shit.

Not everyone is out, can afford to be out, is ready to come out publicly, or cares to have anyone in their business. There is a huge number of fans who are way too invested in the parasocial relationships with their "favs" and cross lines.

It's a tale as old as time. Darren Criss' now wife, Mia (Swier), was mercilessly harassed online and honestly in person. I distinctly remember people MAILING her things. There was an incredible amount of hate directed towards her because SHE wasn't a HE and a group of fans were hellbent that he and Chris Colfer were secretly in a relationship, even though both were happily in their own relationships. (Both of them are actually still IN those relationships and I love that for them.)

Someone gave Dannell Ackles (wife of Jensen Ackles) a gift at an event. When she reached it she was cut by a bunch of rusty hooks in a fucking voodoo doll.

One of the NSYNC members (I can't remember if it were Chris or Joey) ended up being broken up with by their partner at the time because of the amount of hate they were getting.

This came up because someone said on instagram that they "will not be watching [RWRB]" because [Taylor and Nicholas] "are not out" and "they are gay for pay". So, me being me, says to them that the actors owe you nothing. Their sexuality/gender identity is no one's concern but their own.

Also, it was really disgusting what alot of Heartstopper did to Kit. He's just a baby and they strong armed him to coming out before he was ready and made him feel like he had to justify it. Cruel irony being that it's the exact opposite of the point of the books, and exact opposite of his character. I'll never forgive them for what they did to my son.

I went on to tell them that Hollywood is shit. It's homophobic, racist, sexist, xenophobic, transphobic, everything phobic. They like beautiful and handsome, classically beautiful, white, straight actors that fit into their perfect mold. As soon as actors come out they get type cast, lose rolls (because how could a homosexual portray intimacy with a woman? It's not like they are actors or anything). I, of course, got blocked because they didn't agree with me and that's fine.

Did you know that many actors in the union don't even make the $26,000 a year that is required to qualify for health insurance? Most actors are working class. Yes, many acquire a net worth, but it's honestly one huge disaster from losing what they have. The median salary for actors in the US is about 60K a year. So why would a working class actor or even a upper middle class actor, want to potentially dismantle their career trajectory by telling something that is really no one's concern anyway?

Not everyone wants to be stuck in a Ryan Murphy rotation. Maybe once we get more queer film and show makers and Hollywood execs start to fuck off we'll get more. I'm 99% sure that RWRB is the ONLY gay romcom without underlying trauma porn. The only other one that comes close is a Christmas movie.

Actors are still human and deserve privacy. They owe fans nothing. Their partners deserve privacy. If they are queer good for them. If they are not, good for them. But fans don't get to dictate who comes out and when. So yes, we want more queer actors in queer roles, but we don't get to decide if the ones who are not open get to have these roles. Sometimes it is who is best for the role.

As far as RWRB: Neither Taylor nor Nicholas have ever made any public statements on their sexuality and are both private people when it comes to their relationships. It's really goofy that people think it's an appropriate question to ASK them personally. Interview or not.

All that matters to me is that they killed that online and the characters they acted were madly in love with each other.

Moral of the story: they can want someone and love some one and not want that life for them. Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka were together for three years before they came out and that's when NPH came out - at 34 on his terms, as it should be. Some people really missed the message of the book; that queer people deserve to come out when and how THEY want to.

/Ted Talk

[morgoonie]

Monstertober day 18 - Hybrid, this time with a nameless character who I've decided to call Ishkra. They don't really explain why vampoids look different than vampires so this is my own little headcanon.

This one is also shorter since it's more of a fluff.

M! Vampire/Naga Hybrid x F! Reader

"How the hell did you ever find this movie scary?" Ishkra scoffed as the evil clown on the screen chased some poor minor character through the small town. You had convinced him to watch an old horror movie since it was officially Halloween season, and what better way to mess with your alien boyfriend of half a year than to watch a b-rated movie alien movie; if it even qualified for that.

"Okay but to be fair I saw this when I was like maybe 5 or so." You snuggle further into his chest smiling as his red tail curls around to pull you more against him as you watched the "horror" movie.

It's been over a month since you and Ishkra got to spend quality time together due to his hectic work schedule. Hanek was kind enough to give you both two weeks off as a reward for his last mission going better than they planned. Your boyfriend had not only avoided losing a single vampoid in his care but everyone came out with either zero injuries or minor scrapes. You didn't like that he was constantly in danger due to the conditions of his job, but you knew what you signed up for when you two started dating.

Mentally shaking the thoughts away you watched as the killer alien clowns dragged their victim into their space ship circus tent. Having discovered that aliens actually exist after joining Intracom and stumbling into their secret world you couldn't help but wonder how many of them are similar to those in media.

Wiggling in Ishkras arms until you were chest to chest you stared up at him examining his features as he stared curiously back "What?"

"Nothing just thinking." You fingers lightly trailed over the light pink scales of his neck and down to his abdomen. Dorn and Hanek didn't have them, none of the 'pureblood' vampires did.

A satisfied hisses rumbled through his chest at your fingers lingered over his abdomen "Mmm~ if you're done with the movie I don't mind taking this to the bedroom." His larger hand covered yours and guided you to his slit, the lips parting as the head of his dick peaked out hopefully as your fingers gently brushed over the tip.

Rolling your eyes with a smile you sit up and drap your leg over his hip, maneuvering yourself until you sat comfortably on his lap with his slit being behind you, allowing you to focus on him "Not what I was thinking about love. Just wondering about aliens in general. How you all came to live on Earth."

"Well first off most had to leave their home planet-" you playfully slapped at his chest as you both laughed "What? You love it when I'm a smartass. But uhhh I only know how a few came to land on Earth. Most by accident but some have been on purpose. Vampires came here centuries ago to start a colony not knowing that sunlight would be harmful to them with our kind of atmosphere."

Carefully Ishkra moved the two of you until he was sitting upright, his hands holding, or more like groping with the playful squeezes, onto your waist as he got you both comfortable again "I think it was with the first generation that they found out humans can be turned into hybrids, or vampoids, instead of being thralls."

That caught your attention "Were you originally human?" You had wondered why their appearances were different but chalked it up to a genetics thing.

Humming in agreement he continued to knead your soft hips "I was turned a few decades ago by Hanek. Wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. It was kind of like going in for surgery, one moment your awake and the next you're done and a vampoid."

"So you're an alien hybrid? That's pretty cool." You couldn't help but wonder what you would look like if you choose to follow Ishkra and be turned. Distracted by your thoughts you didn't realize your hands had been moving on their own caressing the pink scales around his chest and neck until Ishkras larger hands took hold of them and moved them to wrap around his shoulders, the action pulling you back to lay on his chest.

Seeing the mischievous glint in his deep gold eyes you felt a familiar warmth press against your thin shorts. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea to pause the movie... or at least turn it down so that the actors are the only thing the creepy clowns kill tonight.

[cookinguptales]

When I was younger... I think saying that Ratatatouille was a hyperfixation of mine is too strong, but I will say that it's a movie that came out at just the right time for me personally.

I was going through one of the toughest times in my life in that period, and I was just getting to the age where I could understand that the things happening to me were not right. I was coming to question the worldview that I'd been raised with, and I was starting to understand that many things in my life would be better qualified as abuse. That paired with some other things led to me feeling extremely jaded.

And... I think it would've been really easy for me to become irreparably cynical at that age. I was feeling so disillusioned with so much of my life that it was hard to believe in anything anymore. But then Ratatouille came out and I really resonated with the basic message that sometimes love requires courage, and that the simple act of creation (and finding joy from that creation) could be incredibly meaningful. That cynicism is both easy and enjoyable, but that finding joy, finding meaning, can only happen if you make the conscious decision to reject it.

idk. I think I just really, really needed to hear that at that age.

Since I was very young, I'd actually wanted to be a chef when I grew up. I think... by that age, I was realizing that it wasn't going to happen. I was just so, so sick, and I only got my first diagnosis less than a year after the movie came out. So at the time, I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I knew that I was simply too sick to cook -- and that cooking school, for the most part, was not very accessible if you have mobility disabilities.

But... I wanted to cook this one thing. Just this one thing. I remember it took me hours. Like literally hours -- just for the prep work. We were pretty poor back then and I wasn't going to ask my parents to get a specialty product for the kitchen just so I could cook one dish, so I ended up creating it without a mandoline. I cut all the vegetables by hand.

I was exhausted by the time I was done (and did have a moment of "you idiot, you hate both eggplant and bell peppers, why are you making this?") but there was a real sense of accomplishment there. And I did like it a lot more than traditional ratatouille.

(My issues with eggplant are textural, so cutting it thinly and stacking it with zucchini, one of my favorite foods, helped alleviate that for me. lmao)

I never made it again, though, and these days I cook very little. I'm still sick. I always will be. So... there's still a very specific pain that I feel when I watch that film and they say, "Anyone can cook."

But it's also something that I tell myself the few times that I do cook. When I jerry-rig an accessible cook station in my living room. When I discover ways to make things doable, if not easy. Anyone can cook. Maybe not always, maybe not anything, maybe not the way everyone else does it. Certainly not in a professional kitchen.

But... anyone can cook.

And... truthfully speaking, I had a real breakdown a couple years after this movie came out. I learned in the most brutal fashion possible that my body would not be like everyone else's, no matter how hard I pushed it, and during the forced medical leave that followed, I finally came to some very tough realizations about my life and the adults around me who had failed me. Even, y'know, the ones I loved.

I do think having that kernel of hope, though, and that stubborn refusal to entirely give into cynicism, did help me survive the period. I really tried to throw myself into anything that could give me the barest amount of joy back then rather than being entirely pulled under by the uh. Incredible amount of depression I was dealing with.

I'm not gonna say that Ratatouille saved my life; I think that would be a bit too much. But it certainly didn't hurt. I went through this period in my life where I really kept imprinting on unrepentantly hopeful, optimistic characters that truly believed in the best in people, even when it hurt them. And... I think there were some mirrors there in my own life. I so desperately wanted to believe that things could be good. That the people in my life would be good. And it very much did hurt me.

But... I think I needed all that, too. I don't believe that the world is all Disney optimism or anything, but I think that... y'know, what's the point of anything if you give into despair? Living and continuing to live and eking out joy wherever you find it is a very conscious decision, and one that you have to constantly make. You learn to mine through the shit to find just one thing that makes you remember that life can be very beautiful.

Some days that's a fandom. Some days that's a person. Some days that's confit byaldi. idk, man. Sometimes you have to cut through the calluses that life has given you and just experience something with childlike wonder and hope. That's the real message there, I think. That you have to have the courage to allow yourself to feel joy, even in the smallest ways, when things suck.

Love isn't always rewarded, but... you gotta keep letting yourself feel it, right? It really is all there is.

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Watched this with the oomf @yurisorcerer, I came across it multiple years ago and cannot remember where (my best guess is it qualifying as a magical girl anime for the mahou shoujo achievement on MAL graph?) and just yesterday as I was clearing my plan to watch for funsies I decided to torrent this so I could have it watched and thus remove another ptw entry.

It was fucking incredible! What the fuck! Like I didn't go into this expecting it to be bad I had no preconceived notions of what it was even about it's just the score was kinda low and I was like "if it's good it'll be like 6 or 7 good" but nah this shit was awesome, awesome to such a degree that I'm almost mad I hadn't already seen it before, and now I'm mad that it released so long ago that the fucking blu-ray is long out of print and sold for way more money than I'm willing to part with. Joy to be found at least in having shared this experience with a friend whom, spoilers for her presumed post (unless she posts before I do anyway) also really enjoyed it.

Elaborating a bit more specifically, I'd really say this movie is split into three acts. The intro gives us an overview of lead pair Dual and Dorothy, how their setting works, and how it's about to be changed with the introduction of Remo. The start's cool if a little slow, but there's magical girl adjacent action in a visually appealing cyber-world with fucky gravity and shit. I was already having fun here. Midsection of the movie sees Dual and Dorothy having become genuine friends with Remo, and there's a ton of genuinely adorable slice of life and character building antics here. The two music montages in a row are both particularly peak. There's a weird bit in the middle of said montages that shows the destruction of humanity and overwhelming dread of war - it works with what the movie is actually about thematically although I get the sense it was meant to be a little longer. We're still very good though. At this point 6 isn't even on the table for score anymore, and I'm genuinely having a lot of fun. And then we get our final act, which I can't even begin to succinctly describe and can really only say that the stakes go crazy, the plot goes crazier, and it was one of the best endings I've seen in what feels like forever. Absolutely incredible. Shot the movie up to an 8. I cannot stress enough that the movie is already pretty solid by this point and then just becomes peak beyond reason. Phenomenal.

Will say more broadly that the literary idea of computers continuing after human extinction is a common idea, but I gotta say this movie executed on said idea in a much more optimistic manner than I usually see, and I think the plot itself and how we get to all this comes together in a really nice way. Like the ending isn't just epic and emotional it's also naratively satisfying and thematically well justified. This movie being such a uniquely particular vibe would be enough for me to find it passively interesting already but being as generally well written as it is does a lot as well. Fuckin, really liked this thing.

Only drawback is count how many times it fades to black though lol.

[saucy-mesothelioma]

October 31st: Meso's Honorable Mentions | Bones

Bones was released in 2001 and was directed by Ernest Dickerson. In 1979, Billy Bones (played by Snoop Dogg), a beloved and respected gangster, was betrayed and killed by a corrupt cop named Lupovich (Michael T. Weiss). Now, twenty-two years later, teenagers Patrick (Khalil Kain), Bill (Merwin Mondesir), Tia (Katharine Isabelle), and Maurice (Sean Amsing) decide to turn the building Bones once owned into a night club despite warnings from Bones's former lover Pearl (Pam Grier). Their renovations, however, soon lead to the awakening of the spirit of Billy Bones, and he won't let anybody stand in his way of enacting vengeance on those who had betrayed him.

Ernest Dickerson wanted to shoot Bones like the Blaxploitation films of the 70s, such as Blacula, Abby, Blackenstein, and Sugar Hill, and Dickerson himself stated that New Line Cinema didn't know how to properly promote the film without turning to stereotypes or without marketing it as a "Black movie". Once again as a white person, I am not in the least qualified to talk about the varying effects of Blaxploitation as well as the social commentary on the effects of drugs on African American communities that this movie covers, so I highly recommend checking out the documentary Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror directed by Xavier Burgin, which I mentioned before when I covered Candyman. It gives a wonderful history of black filmmaking and representation in the horror genre, and Ernest Dickerson actually did an interview for it. From a filmmaking perspective, Bones has some wonderful cinematography and a captivating story as it mixes elements of classic Universal Monster movies, early German Expressionist cinema, and 70s Italian horror films. Dickerson also set a big priority on using practical effects whenever he could, and this absolutely pays off with having some of the most unsettling practical effects, especially for such a lesser-known film.

It can be watched for free on Tubi

Content Warnings for the Film (may contain spoilers): violence, blood, a shit ton of maggots, dog attack (it's a demon-dog), blood, forced drug use, use of the N-word by a white character, corpses

And since Dickerson made a point to use practical effects as much as possible, you know I'm gonna give it some attention because fuck is it good.

Probably the coolest effect in this entire movie is when Bill is laying in bed listening to music, and the wall behind him suddenly reveals a writhing mass of spirits from the City of the Dead. It was accomplished by special effects artists Ariel Shaw and Tony Gardner by building a 2-story frame chock full of sculpted animatronics, puppets on rods, and empty spaces for the human actors (many of them mimes). The actors were airbrushed black, given prosthetics, and then covered in a tar-like slime. The technique they used to have the wall give way to the City of the Dead was actually a classic theater trick: the wall itself was something called a theatrical scrim, which is a then gauze-like fabric, with a bright light shining on it. When the light was turned off, the City of the Dead was revealed behind it in all of its disturbing glory. And the rejuvenation effects for Bones's body were very similar to that of Frank's in Hellraiser which I covered earlier today: a body cast was made of Snoop Dogg (in his fuckin garage which is cool as shit), and then three different versions of the body were created from that mold for the varying states. Much like in Hellraiser, layers of skin and muscle were made with wax and then melted, so when the footage was played in reverse it looked like the body was reforming.

[repurposedmeatlocker]

I don't think I've changed my Letterboxd top 4 films in ages. I think the most recent one was Head (1968), but even that has been on there for close to two years now.

I guess in general I like consistency. I have seen so many films since seeing Blade Runner (1982) for the first time and it completely changing my life. But because of that, the idea of replacing it with something else feels out of the question. It is everything I personally want in a "good" film that "I" like. Even if it would be qualified by more pretentious film bros as a "basic" choice (would it? Idk I feel like they would say that. Film bros change their opinions on what movies they consider "cool" all the time).

Then there is Head (1968) of course, which I like having there 1. because it is funny to have a film about pop rock industry mill 60s band The Monkees on my top films and 2. because it is actually a really good deconstructed film with so many different things being said in it. I see new stuff all the time and it blows my mind inside out each time. Everyone needs to watch it, and if you don't get it, well then I have nothing to say to you.

The next two films I am REALLY adamant about having it line up with two live action films and two animated films. I could easily fill my top four with just live-action films or just animated films, but neither seems fair. Animation as a narrative and artistic medium for film means so much to me, and seeing it side-lined by so many "sophisticated film people", especially on Letterboxd, hurts a bit.

I have Watership Down (1978) because it is a beautiful, and very nostalgic film for me (yes I watched it by accident when I was four. No it didn't traumatize me. It became the top movie I would rewatch all the time). I love the book as well, and I think the film really should be remembered better as a really investing re-interpretation of The Odyssey/survival narrative rather than just the "bloody bunny movie"

Then there is Ratatouille (2007), which maybe alongside Blade Runner is the most "basic" of the films on my top four. I feel like every list should have a film like that on there though. It is healthy and grounding. Also I just really like the movie. I think it easily is one of Pixar's best films, and think the message it bases it whole narrative on is a really challenging one to depict in film, let alone with a concept as ridiculous as the one it puts forward. Not to verge on pretentious, but there is something about it that feels very "European" to me in its pacing and structure. I can't put my finger on it, but having seen, what I would consider, a good portion of European films, I feel confident enough putting that out there.

[miss-sternennacht]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @cnnmonbimee!! Thanks so much!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? Actually same as Hime, 28! I have more when you add on fanfic.net, but I'm working on getting those over.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 122,557, which I feel like is a lot!

3. What fandoms do you write for? 20 total for TBHK, with the next place trophy going to Hetalia.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Four Questions (Hetalia: Axis Powers) (3,377 words) kudos: 405

Let's Take a Selfie! (地縛少年花子くん | Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun | Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (Manga), 地縛少年花子くん | Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun | Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (Anime)) (4,461 words) kudos: 304

Morning Reflections (地縛少年花子くん | Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun | Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (Manga), 地縛少年花子くん | Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun | Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (Anime)) (3,836 words) kudos: 283

Teach Me Astronomy, Amane-kun! (地縛少年花子くん | Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun | Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (Manga), 地縛少年花子くん | Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun | Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (Anime)) (17,645 words) kudos: 245

Miracles Take Time (Hetalia: Axis Powers) (19,821 words) kudos: 184

My number one kudos fic is something I wrote over 10 years ago alskdflsjkd But I am surprised at how many the selfie one has, it was just an idea I had. Didn't think it would be somewhat popular!

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to as much as possible!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably "Until Midnight" due to the ending, but probably also "Everything Has an End". I don't typically write angsty fics or fics with sad endings.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of them LOL! I'd probably say "Hey There Lovina"

8. Do you get hate on fics? I have before! Not on AO3, not that I can remember however. But if people hate a fic, that's ok! They're allowed to have that opinion and I'm not a trained writer or anything, I just write for fun.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I tend to have ideaaaaaas, but I'm not confident in that kind of writing so I probably won't ever post any of them. Making out or referencing something is the closest I usually get.

10. Do you write crossovers? I have! I don't like those that much tbh. I have one on AO3, I had two before on Fanfic.net.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? ... No?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Also no!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet ;)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? So talking in general, it's probably SyaoSaku from CCS! In terms of writing it's HanaNene from TBHK.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I actually have a Mario fic that I started writing when the movie came out because I heard a song and got a great idea, and there's a HanaNene skating fic that is mostly done... A few other oneshots too.

16. What are your writing strengths? I don't know if I'm qualified to talk about my strengths lol, but I think maybe connections?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Again, I don't know if I'm qualified to judge myself properly, but the fact that I'm just not a great writer. My vocabulary needs to expanddddd.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Listen. I wrote fics for Hetalia. I used Google Translate, used books to translate, asked people for translations, and also relied on commenters for any troubles. I don't mind if others do it just because I'm used to it from long ago, even if the translation is not quite right.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Technically technically, I used to write little ficlets for Jimmy Neutron back when Nickelodeon had forums on their site! Did I save any of them, of course not, so they are lost to time.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? "Teach Me Astronomy, Amane-kun!" I started this fic during Covid-19 and at the time I really wanted to write for TBHK because none of my friends watched/read the series and I had so many intense feelings since it became my new obsession. And because I had read so many fics that had Amane obsess over space, another obsession/hobby of mine, I wanted to combine the two to create an (somewhat) educational fic. It was really fun to tell people about an event and to hear in the comments what people saw/did. I fully intend to continue the fic and already have some drafts made up, but this one out of all my fics I desperately want to continue.

Thank you for the tag, Hime! I don't normally tag, so if you see this and want to do it, just tag me 'cause I'd love to read yours!

[rockinlibrarian]

People I'd like to know better!

@stephsageek tagged me in this thing! I think the last time I did it it was specifically NINE people I'd like to know better? Anyway here's the last time I filled this out; obviously some answers have changed and some have stayed the same

Last song: I can't remember the last song I actually HEARD, besides the background music to Splatoon which the 16yo was playing as usual, but I started singing almost out of nowhere (there was a reference to Liverpool in the book we were reading and I asked the kids if they knew the thing Liverpool was MOST IMPORTANT FOR THERE IS ONLY ONE RIGHT ANSWER) "Drive My Car" and it's been in my head and still occasionally sung since.

Favourite colour: Still cerulean.

Currently watching: Percy Jackson. We're big Riordan fans in this household. @sunnymarbles yells at everyone to watch it ASAP and then basically trembles with joy the whole way through.

Last movie/TV show: Hubs got the complete James Bond collection for Christmas so we all watched Dr. No the other day. To various levels of attention.

Spicy/savory/sweet: All, as previously mentioned

Relationship Status: Married 20 years and 2 days. We're finally taking date night tomorrow night (I've had work all week, including the evening of our anniversary) at our reception restaurant and the hotel behind it.

Current Obsession: The Yuletide fic exchange. It is so fun. There are so many random fics from such obscure source materials (and not so obscure-- as I've hinted before, the one I wrote is from one I can't believe still qualified, and I think in the time since it DID qualify it no longer does, at least), and so many people had such fun with what they wrote, too. People are such good sports too! And the RESPONSES! My fic, which I will share with you when it un-anonymizes on Monday, is doing really well, people-loving-it-wise, and I am getting more in-depth listing-all-your-favorite-lines type comments on this than I swear I've gotten on all 33 other fics I have posted all together. Yuletide participants are so cool!

Last thing you Googled: How to remove the battery of a Vostro 15 3530. Good news, I got a new computer for Christmas! Bad news, it promptly stopped working after two days! Luckily, that means it's obviously still under warranty! And since I just saw a Tumblr post about Apple purposely making their devices next to impossible to repair to force you to buy more, I have to give Dell Customer Service a shout-out for not only getting back to me quickly, but walking me through various tests so if it COULD have been repaired by me, they would have showed me how-- and that involved me actually opening the thing up to check on the battery and connections inside, even! (They were all fine, it turns out it's a motherboard problem and I have to send the dang thing back). Which is why I had to Google pictures of how to actually do that.

This is also why, normally, I would be using these days to write up all my end-of-the-year roundup posts, but most of my notes are in Cloud Limbo, and my old computer is SO. DANG. SLOW. So my end-of-year roundups are going to be late this year. That's okay, I didn't want to do any fanfic-I-wrote roundups until after this last one un-anonymizes, anyway!

So now let's tag brand new non-bot follower, @pixileanin!

[ckret2]

omg how do you seem to pull all the niche things i love out of my brain and put them in your au?? when i was a kid growing up in the early 2000s i was unhealthily obsessed with rainbow brite even though literally no one else my own age had ever heard of it and that was my first in a line of many socially isolating media interests. this is the second time you've pulled this for me as i am also one-eyed anon, henceforth signed as 👁️🕳️.

keep up the great stories ow-

Eyyy a repeat anon, hello!

When I was a kid we lived walking distance from a video rental store (honest-to-god VIDEO rental, with VCR tapes) and they had several 80s Rainbow Brite videos I'd pester my family to check out over and over. We managed to record the movie off of TV and somehow i got ONE Rainbow Brite children's book. And that's what I had access to! I loved it. I was in love with rainbows; I was fascinated by the unexpectedly (to me) grimdark dystopian origin story they gave Wisp; and I was a unicorn kid and wholly embraced Starlite as an honorary unicorn, like he doesn't need the horn to qualify, he's THAT magnificent. I believe his hype.

One of my long term life goals is to make a Rainbow Brite cosplay, but like, one that looks like real clothing made out of quality materials rather than a costume. I'm talking "hand dying the leather for the belt," "rainbow ombré Marie sleeves," QUALITY looking. The kind of thing that makes anyone who hasn't seen the show go "what avant-garde fashion designer did you steal this next gen runway look from" and anyone who HAS seen the show go "excuse me are you literally the actual rainbow brite?" This is my dream.

I was inspired to make the post a few days ago because I've been rewatching the series on youtube this week to get into the What Kinds Of Shows Would Mabel Watch mindset. I look at Shimmery Twinkleheart and go "okay so the vibes we're shooting for here are like, Rainbow Brite, Care Bears, and G1 My Little Pony, got it." (And I've been seeing some episodes I'd never seen before! I guess the video store didn't have many season 2 episodes. Couple nights ago I was sitting on my couch, an entire adult with a job and a mortgage, going "what do you mean Murky only hates colors because of childhood trauma... what the fuck... my mind is blown... this changes everything." The seven-year-old in me who thought Rainbow & Murky should make up and be friends feels vindicated.) Probably gonna watch Star Stealer tonight and then my Rainbow Brite rewatch will be complete.

[itsthenerdwonder]

I'm reminded of that post about Olympic gold medals and what qualifies. I can't find the original post, but here's a video about men's vault over the years.

Literally everything is harder now. Before it was a simple up and over, now, you cannot win gold without spinning 4 times and a perfectly stuck landing. And while this is the big leagues, this is what we're supposed to look up to. This is supposed to be the goal of the human body, to be this good. So it has a little bit of a trickle down effect.

Teenagers compete in the Olympics because their bodies can handle some of the stress better than adults. Sure, but that contributes to the idea that your life is over once you hit 30. Sports with thin athletes get more focus than those with larger athletes. Lots of people watching the runners, not so many watching the shot putters. And this DEFINITELY doesn't affect people's perceptions of how "healthy" bodies look and DEFINITELY won't encourage eating and exercise disorders in minors.

Sports is just one example of how the bar has been raised higher than most people can achieve, but I honestly don't think it's the main factor of why kids aren't allowed to be kids anymore. Genuinely, it's technology.

I hear you. I know. "These kids today and their technology." I get it.

But the technology of Evening News spreading information--good and bad--to every household with a television set. The technology of home computers streaming classes. The technology of, like @elfwreck said, personal consoles, especially the streaming library so you can just wait a little bit to get your game or movie or whatever rather than going out somewhere you're not wanted and can't afford when you can just get a bigger selection at home from your X-Box 1 or Amazon Fire Stick. GEEZ! The technology of FUCKING AMAZON SHIPPING! What use to people have for malls when it can go straight to your house?

I want to state NONE OF THESE TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS ARE INHERENTLY BAD! A whole bunch of people survived COVID with getting food or whatever shipped directly to their door instead of potentially exposing themselves and others by going to the grocer. Education backslid during COVID, but people didn't lose a full 2 or more years of education, just partial losses for classes they were distracted by or lost internet service for, but not the full thing. And, I like being able to play MY version of a video game without having to compete with L1CKMYA55 for the proper place in the quarter line. But...when everything that was a third space moves into the home...and you're only allowed to exist at home or at work/school and better not "loiter" anywhere, it makes it a lot harder to exist outside those spaces.

And those spaces are filling up with extra pressure.

The pressure to compete academically because everyone needs a college degree for the simplest jobs. The pressure to protect kids because Columbine/Parkland/Buffalo/two streets down/etc. The fact that there's not as many child or teen websites, just social media, so the pressure to perform in front of online strangers. The pressure to know everything perfectly, because google is free so why don't you just look up every question ever asked. No nuance for the fact that all learning in all of human history resets to 0 on the day you're born, you're expected to know and act like adults with 10 years job experience from day one. So, bye-bye childhood and any learning and growing that would've occurred during that time.

Not to mention the infantalization of actual legal adults and how the removal of Third Spaces and technology inserting itself in adult lives making adults work harder for less too. And...I don't know how to fix it.

Maybe this is the wrong platform to pose this question given the average tumblr user but

Is it just me or did our generation (those of is who are currently 20-30 ish) just not get the opportunity to be young in the 'standard' sense?

Like, everyone I talk to who's over 40 has all their wild stories about their teens and 20s, being young and dumb, and then I talk to my friends and coworkers and classmates, and we just... dont.

[twigstarpikachutroll22]

2, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 16, 19, 22, 24, 25

=~D =~D =~D 😄 🥰

2) A song you didn't expect to see in your top 10

I did NOT listen to the Cure Flora edition of the second Go Princess Precure end theme THAT many times, I really didn’t. There were maybe 1-3 days in like January where I decided to relisten to all the four versions of that end theme once or twice, that should NOT qualify for this.

8) Longest song

2013 medley of Precure opening themes. (I don’t think I listened to that more than a few times either, seriously why is my youtube wrapped so much less accurate this year)

9) Favorite lyrics of your #1 song

“Won’t you come and find what you’ll leave behind, be it tenderness or destiny or you” is a HECK of one 👏👏👏👏👏

I am also quite fond of “Be not afraid, come dance away” and “Secrets are waiting and dreams lie awake in the wood”.

12) A song you feel should be higher up

Honestly, I definitely listened to Orange (apparently from Your Lie In April, which admittedly I haven’t watched I just stumbled upon this song in my youtube feed) enough for it to be considerably higher than 83.

…Actually do songs that aren’t even ON the playlist that I feel like should be there count, because there’s legitimately enough that I may just make a whole separate playlist that’s like “2024 recap but accurate”

13) The song with the most peculiar sound (to you)

I think probably the one with sound sticking out in an unusual way the most is either Russian Roulette by Porter Robinson, good old Ruler of Everything by Tally Hall, or good old Saint Bernard by Lincoln Lincoln.

14) A song you think is underrated

I’m gonna say Please Don’t Make Me Choose by Amanda Fagan, even though it’s one of the ones I’m most confused by as it got on here with an animatic I watched literally all of one and a half times and didn’t even LIKE, just because seriously I do NOT hear people in the dsmp fandom talk about Amanda Fagan enough.

16) A song everyone should know

Jubyphonic’s extra spooky version of Spooky Scary Skeletons.

19) Is the most streamed song by your favorite artist your favorite of them?

…I’m going to assume this means the highest-placed song by the artist who got placed top of my top 5. I Hate It Here is NOT my favorite Taylor Swift song (that honor goes to Long Live) but it is one of my favorites off specifically The Tortured Poets Department for sure.

22) Shortest song

An Aromantic Cupid by Ros Mo.

24) A song that could be the soundtrack of a movie

Itte, or Say It, by Yorushika, though I only have the english covers by Rachie and Jubyphonic on here (either or both of those could work for this).

25) Favorite lyrics of your #100 song

And we know it’s never simple, never easy Never a clean break, no one here to save me You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand

[stonewallsposts]

16 personalities questions: 3-5

3. Seeing other people cry can easily make you feel like want to cry too 

Uh, no. It takes a lot to get me to cry. I always say I did enough crying as a kid, I'm done with it as an adult.  

Do I actually cry? Well, sure, I can... and it has happened a few times. Most of the time I do pretty well choking it back. A few times, when no one else is around, I just let it go, but even then it doesn't last long. I will feel the emotion welling up in me if I'm watching certain things that are emotional, but I don't let that come out as crying. Plus... I'm an ugly crier, and nobody should see that.  

I suppose what this is really getting at is something along the lines of do I feel empathy with other people. Do I feel their pain. Again, not so much. This is an area where I've recognized a deficiency for a long time. I don't tend to feel a lot of sympathy for people. Don’t get me wrong, I like it when others have sympathy for my problems, but I don't naturally feel much for theirs. Over the years I've tried to get better, and I actually have. But even now, I'll often comment while watching tv shows where a character is paralyzed by some fear or hung up on something that has traumatized them, and I'll think: what a wuss, get over it. You can't just lock up. Snap out of it and get done what needs to be done. 

To be fair, I'm kind of like this myself. If I'm going through a rough time, I tend to just think: well, I screwed up and I gotta own it. Get to work and do what you can, the rest will settle itself. 

That said, there are some people that I genuinely feel for in their situations. I'm not heartless, so I'll hear people's problems and want to pray for them and offer what comfort I can. I remember one person that I knew suffered from anxiety in social situations. I went out of my way to make sure they felt ok, included. If I saw them standing off, I'd go and ask. With them, I felt a genuine responsibility to make sure that they were ok. I suppose that I'm somewhat of a contradiction then in this area too.  

I've also taken in people who are in bad situations because they had no place else to go, so I think that ought to qualify as care and concern for others. I'm only saying this because I made it sound at first like I didn't really care about other people's feelings. That's not really true. I do. I'm sure this is an area where I've grown a lot over the years. 

On the surface of it, it's easy to answer: no I won't cry because someone else does. But do I feel for others, sometimes deeply, other times not. 

4. You often make a backup plan for your backup plan 

I don't consider myself a particularly anal type of person. I feel like I'm pretty easy-going. That said, I don't like going into situations where I think I'll need a plan, without having a plan. If I have a tough situation coming up, or some situation that could be tricky, I'll usually try my best to figure ahead what kinds of contingencies I need to be aware of, and then have some plan of attack. I recognize that I can't ever figure everything out, but at least I don't want to be caught completely off-guard. I know a line from a movie, even though I've never actually seen the movie, where a character wants to commit a murder, so he goes to a criminal he knows and asks his advice. They guy says something along the lines of: When you're talking about murder, there are about 50 ways this can go wrong. If you're a genius, you can figure out 25 of 'em. And you ain't no genius! 

I've used that line many times over the years. The whole point is no matter how smart we try to be, we can't think of everything. That, however doesn't stop me from doing my best to try and think of all the contingencies and at least be aware of possibilities. I may not be able to stop, or counter, certain things, but if I do find myself in those situations, I at least want to think- ok, I knew this might happen.  

I don't plan for everything, though. I do try to have a basic plan on vacations. But if things don't go according to plan, I don't get flustered. For example, on the last vacation, the plan was to fly to Norfolk, VA, stay with a family member there, see Jamestown, then head off to Charlottesburg. But the flight got redirected to Washington. Never got to see Norfolk. I was disappointed, but there was nothing to do since I had no intention of trying to drive back into the path of Hurricane Ian in order to see Norfolk.  

With difficult meetings, such as the things that are happening with my sister and niece, I try to think ahead and consider ways they might react so I can be ready. That way I won't get caught completely by surprise.  

That said, I don't map out my days. I also consider it an ideal weekend when I don't have any particular plan. 

5. You usually stay calm even under a lot of pressure 

I don't know if this is exactly applicable, but I have inadvertently spooked our office manager, Julia, a bunch of times. I wasn't trying to, but she was focused on her work, I came in, and at the point she noticed me, she jumped. She has tried to return the favor several times by jumping out at me. It just doesn't work. It's not that I'm unfazed, but my reaction tends to be to freeze. So to people on the outside, it looks like I'm not reacting, whereas on the inside, I've frozen rather than jumped. Then in the second it takes me to get my bearings, I go back to normal. I relate this just to say that in some situations it can look like one thing, but be different on the inside.  

Of course I'd rather have that reaction than flap my arms and scream like a little girl. 

But to the larger question. I hope I stay calm. I don't tend to look like what people identify as "stressed", but I will for sure feel it. Particularly in my stomach. The previous question about planning helps me to feel better about difficult situations when I'm in the middle of them because I will have likely already thought through a lot of the ways a scenario could go. I certainly won't always feel calm. I suppose like everyone else, I'm anxious under pressure too, but I hope that I can at least keep my head.  

When confronted with difficult situations, I think I usually do a pretty good job of staying calm. I've had people falsely accuse me of a few things over the years. I will tend to just sit and listen. I'll maybe ask questions as to why they think that way, or if they've made it clear why they think that way, I'll just sit and take it.  

Years ago, I was (oddly enough) accused of stealing a neighbor's cat. The lady, who I had seen but never talked to, knocked on my door and asked me to give back her cat. I told her I hadn't taken her cat, but she persisted. All I could say was I'm sorry, but I really didn’t take your cat. 

More recently I was guilty of something, and after having confessed it, and even turned over all the evidence, I was called in to have it all read back to my face, while the person in authority reimagined what I meant by it and then attributed those motives to me. I just sat and took the berating. It felt more like something he just wanted to get off his chest out of anger at the situation. To be honest, I had actually done something wrong here, and I wasn't denying that. While it didn't feel good listening to someone tell me what my own motives were, even though they were wrong, about the worst I could accuse him of was bad judgment. And at that moment, I wasn't really in a place to accuse anyone else of bad judgment, so I just sat there and took it. I was trembling on the inside, but had decided I wasn't going to react in any way other than to acknowledge what was said.  

I'm trying to think of some instances where I was under pressure and had to react. 

Maybe the worst was a few years back, I was in a position of authority at a church. Our senior pastor was running late and after the worship finished, I was the one who had to get up and stall. I was supposed to make it look like it was all part of the plan, but because it was thrown on me at the last second, and I'm not the quickest at thinking things through, it was pretty much a disaster. I think I had to get up and just tell everyone what was up, and then try to find things to kill the time... it didn't go well. 

I'm clearly not the quickest thinker under pressure, but the reality is that I'm just not the quickest thinker, period. Pressure would exacerbate the problem, but it's not solely a pressure thing. I wish I was someone who could think faster. But I'm not. In fact, one the reasons I write is to process through issues. Every once in a while I run across these guys that just seem to have all the answers. I wish I was like that. Of course some of them are just really good at sounding like they know what they're talking about, when they really don't. But others are just much quicker at analyzing a situation and responding correctly.  

So I don't think I get so much flustered under pressure, but I'm not the quickest thinker either. 

[baekhvuns]

That Arsenal fan lawyer is me actually. I studied law for 1 year, I'm qualified enough 👀 Ancelotti 🍅🍅🍅🍅 get off the stage!!! My eyes are closed I refuse to see RM's stats....

Uhm I dislike Neymar, but what is this, a club acting like a bunch of bullies? Frenchies are back at it again. PSG isn't relevant enough for them to be that arrogant!

"they could unearth atlantis. they just choose not to. respect." true actually. Thankfully that photo isn't exclusive and I love that they use 🍙 for MBAPpe lmao, very kpop stan behaviour

Bestie you should be a Gooner already! Repeat after me "London is red". So many MU fans are against Gr**nw**d and Nike dropped him as well. He should go to Al Nassr, they probably don't give a fuck or maybe China. 💀

My friend won a London fan sign, she's not going to the concert though lmao. At least she has that, so I'm not mad at her! And Valenteez? Oh that Kaura thing had NFTs, hopefully there won't be any included this time....

If anyone comes for you for writing Seonghwa only I'll personally beat them up 🥰 plenty of people exclusively write for specific people, characters or ships and that's totally fine.

Take this quiz! I got Delancey

I feel so proud of the Skins cast, I grew up with them, and yes Dev, have you seen The Green Knight? I also used to live close to miss Kaya (she's an Arsenal fan too and we would see each other at the local pub). Lmao not PENG 😭 I don't say naur either, but I drink tea a lot, it has nothing to do with the UK though, I've drank gallons of tea since I was a child

Ewww I can imagine the body swap went into the worst direction in the Ryan movie, creepy shit. I read some reviews....

One thing about me is I'll choose a fictional cartoon man over a real one 😅 Tasir ❤

Boxer would get his hands bruised so easily, rip to that man! Y/N needs to mummify him

We still have no idea what's going on with Lookass, Chris Lee you fucking bitch. But Lee Sue Man??? huh how about he sues himself

Oh no wtf I had no idea Canadian schools were as bad as American ones :( I sincerely hope Mnet won't evil edit Hui or anyone... these poor guys have been humiliated enough

Wait Y/N and Hwa went to high school together in Mr & Mrs Park? I had no idea, I'm a fake Baeksussy fan.

Baekhyun looks cute, I'm glad he's back! TY the number 1 simp, he's the true user baekhvuns. And I heard Psycho, yes!

Someone said Seonghwa in the Spin Off video looked like a thundere LI in a fantasy movie, agreed <3

A much better version of Timothee akshuajaajhshsabsha. Yes Tamino is actual GOD, such a beautiful human and his deep voice ❤ ooohhh Baek I had no idea I'd awaken something in you 👁👁 perhaps his songs will inspire you to write! I'll let you know how he was in concert, I saw him once before, but sadly I was pretty sick that day so I couldn't enjoy it fully 😐 His cover of AM fucks too

They ditched my girl Kira even though she was the most relevant to the movie plot??? Fuck those werewolves! But no wonder, they didn't pay the actress enough (ekhm racist). What's the name of your avo baby?

Everyone's saying 2pm for the sex story thing?! An hour...god!?!?! Watch the story be fake though

Remember him 😭😭😭😭 - DV 💖

hello!!

That Arsenal fan lawyer is me actually. I studied law for 1 year, I'm qualified enough 👀 Ancelotti 🍅🍅🍅🍅 get off the stage!!! My eyes are closed I refuse to see RM's stats.... /// Uhm I dislike Neymar, but what is this, a club acting like a bunch of bullies? Frenchies are back at it again. PSG isn't relevant enough for them to be that arrogant!

LMFAOOO GET OUT WHDHDJCICJCK you in court “your honour, i have receipts to back my evidence up actually! going to eat my walls if he denies it tho!”

i will do the courtesy of showing the stats ☺️

i do be blaming it on ancelotti not putting vini in a better position to utilize his skills previously, he was on top of the world and now suddenly it died down 😭😭

yEAAAHH they have been doing this to both messi neymar and even verratti, booing them on pitch and their families! i think once it was messi’s wife w kids in the stadium it happened,, no srs they put psg on the map 😭 idk how much patience that man got but if it were me,,, on SIGHT! ON SIGHT SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN BESTIES!

"they could unearth atlantis. they just choose not to. respect." true actually. Thankfully that photo isn't exclusive and I love that they use 🍙 for MBAPpe lmao, very kpop stan behaviour

WAIT THATS SO TRUE 😭😭😭 utmost respect to them, tbh if kpop fans collectively got together they’d end up digging cleopatra’s tomb,,, LMFAOOO THE 🍙 IS SO CUTE AND FUNNY baby mbappe was rly cute,,, if he joined bubble 😭😭😭 his representative emojis is 🍙 😭😭

🍙: hello y/n!!!

i finished my training!!!

did you think of me???

thinking of you y/n 💖!!

Bestie you should be a Gooner already! Repeat after me "London is red". So many MU fans are against Gr**nw**d and Nike dropped him as well. He should go to Al Nassr, they probably don't give a fuck or maybe China. 💀

LONDON IS RED IM WAITING FOR IT TO BE BLUE IDC 😭😭😭 man utd fans for the first time have some brain cells and collectively hold someone accountable is so wild to me, never thought i’d see it,,, FJWVDJWHKCK doubt the chinese would take that mf in 😭😭 he should just go look for another career oh wait! how can he bdnwbddo i genuinely wonder how hard it is for football players to act decent, play ur game and go back to ur family quietly 😭😭

and spurs have been on a roll?? kane’s revival arc!

My friend won a London fan sign, she's not going to the concert though lmao. At least she has that, so I'm not mad at her! And Valenteez? Oh that Kaura thing had NFTs, hopefully there won't be any included this time....

that is very acceptable, crossed out the concert experience 🤚🏻OH THATS KAURA?? 😬😬😬 it better be some pieces of printed cardboard of his face and not some email confirmation 😭😭

If anyone comes for you for writing Seonghwa only I'll personally beat them up 🥰 plenty of people exclusively write for specific people, characters or ships and that's totally fine. /// Take this quiz! I got Delancey

tHANK YOU i would love to name drop but i will hold my silence fbwnbdnjc <33 right! writing for one person is completely fine but some people 🔫✨🔫✨✨🔫 omg delancey i haven’t heard that name since charm school, i got madison!! speaking of uquiz here’s one!

I feel so proud of the Skins cast, I grew up with them, and yes Dev, have you seen The Green Knight? I also used to live close to miss Kaya (she's an Arsenal fan too and we would see each other at the local pub). Lmao not PENG 😭 I don't say naur either, but I drink tea a lot, it has nothing to do with the UK though, I've drank gallons of tea since I was a child

I HAVE SEEN IT! what an art this man is,, his work selection is amazing! NO WAY FBWMDJWK ANON BAG HER AUTOGRAPH FOR ME PLS I GO A LIL 😵‍💫😵‍💫 WHEN I SEE HER IN THE MAZE RUNNER SERIES ☺️☺️ NO DO U SAY PENG JDVWBDBC OR LENG,, you’ve drank everything except water since u were a child what is this anon 🤨

Ewww I can imagine the body swap went into the worst direction in the Ryan movie, creepy shit. I read some reviews.... /// One thing about me is I'll choose a fictional cartoon man over a real one 😅 Tasir ❤

yEAAAAH it was like dad/lawyer vs unhinged best friend (ryan) who’s single and they body swapped the night they peed in a fountain together 😭😭😭 and ryan has to go be a lawyer and the lawyer has to take up the acting gig ryan had and it’s just a porno 😭😭 so ur saying no seonghwa only tasir? nO SOOHYUK? ALRIGHT AND 20 YEARS TO HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS????? 😭😭😭

Boxer would get his hands bruised so easily, rip to that man! Y/N needs to mummify him /// We still have no idea what's going on with Lookass, Chris Lee you fucking bitch. But Lee Sue Man??? huh how about he sues himself

y/n on her way with the pointe ballerina shoes to save the poor guy <33 NOOOO BC CHRIS LEE IS ABOUT TO GET HIS ASS HANDED BACK TO HIM so basically! sm’s board directors + chris lee tried to push lsm away basically ask him to leave all together that’s why bro’s been in the states and arrived like a day ago

what sm did is that lee soo man didn’t give any of his shares to kakao ent (they tried to have sm’s share to take over them) and intrusted the shares with his nephew (chris lee) who went behind his back sold them! CHRIS LEE JAIL ERAAAAAAA

not the karina signs??? chris lee drops to a new low everyday

Oh no wtf I had no idea Canadian schools were as bad as American ones :( I sincerely hope Mnet won't evil edit Hui or anyone... these poor guys have been humiliated enough

yeah! tho most of it confined to one side of the city after rona tho it def got bitter, out downtown is in shambles and the police are trying their best to handle it so hopefully before the wc happens the thing’s all good! its in affect so it’s getting better <3 it’s mostly drügs and guys trying to be wannabe gangsters and then get surprised they have to face consequences <3 toxic 14-18yo mama’s boys <3 no yeah the guys have been humiliated enough 😭😭 they aren’t trained idols so they’d def have some inconsistencies 😭😭

Wait Y/N and Hwa went to high school together in Mr & Mrs Park? I had no idea, I'm a fake Baeksussy fan. /// Baekhyun looks cute, I'm glad he's back! TY the number 1 simp, he's the true user baekhvuns. And I heard Psycho, yes! //// Someone said Seonghwa in the Spin Off video looked like a thundere LI in a fantasy movie, agreed <3

THEY DID bdskdh it’s when the flashback of hwa hitting on the yn and yn explaining to Kai that they momentarily dated for a week until mf got heart eyes for some other girlie <3 FAKE BAEKSUSSY FAN FHWJD i am actually taeyong my pseudo was kira, im part time nct leader and full time baekhvuns! psycho supremacy actually 🤲🏻🤲🏻 HE DOES HE DOES him in a fantasy movie brb i will edit him in one rn,, he needs to be in a magically fantasy movie with a proper villain and he’s under this veil that the villain is the bad guy but then he realizes who it actually is!

A much better version of Timothee akshuajaajhshsabsha. Yes Tamino is actual GOD, such a beautiful human and his deep voice ❤ ooohhh Baek I had no idea I'd awaken something in you 👁👁 perhaps his songs will inspire you to write! I'll let you know how he was in concert, I saw him once before, but sadly I was pretty sick that day so I couldn't enjoy it fully 😐 His cover of AM fucks too

HE REALLY IS ANON IDK WHAT U DID IVE BEEN LISTENING TO HIM SINCE YESTERDAY!! his voice is omg, what a voice, so calming but so powerful omgg the talent really runs in his family, IT AWOKE EVERYTHING IN ME! EVERYTHING! HE HAS INSPIRED ME TO WRITE IVE BEEN WRITING TO HIS SONGS 😭😭😭 ur music taste i swear omg anon, u need to ppt format drop every detail of him at the concert, saw a few reviews abt it and it said he has like no voice cracks and it’s just his insane vocals and vibes omg 😭😭 he sings like lana but the male version get out the cover is sO GOOD ITS SO RUSTY ???? he sounds like if brown and emerald were a person

They ditched my girl Kira even though she was the most relevant to the movie plot??? Fuck those werewolves! But no wonder, they didn't pay the actress enough (ekhm racist). What's the name of your avo baby?

NAHH FUCK WEREWOLVES UR RIGHT DONT NEED THOSE TYPE OF FURRIES would accept hwa werewolf au- HER NAMES ACTUALLY AVOLINA!! and uh, speaking of avo,, live action 😀

Everyone's saying 2pm for the sex story thing?! An hour...god!?!?! Watch the story be fake though /// Remember him 😭😭😭😭 - DV 💖

AN HOUR??? OH MY LORD THIS DEF A DILF,, imagine going to the inkigayo bathroom and someone’s getting dicked down in the stall next to u 😭😭😭 the shit kpop idols must tolerate must be crazy,, ITS THE LEGS FOR ME FBWMDJWK

IM SCREAMING ANON FBWKDHW

😶😶

in a few days i might ask u if ur prefer a lighter dark aesthetic or a dark aesthetic for yunho if make it in the end <3

[catcher11]

Morpheus having a S/O with anxiety

I...trully did not expect to be back into the world of writing fanfiction like this. I actually have a Dream piece just wating to be posted but I'm making editing way more harder than it should be. Also yeah, anxiety took the best of me today and my acting powers are not strong enough to turn it into something usefull yet. So, without further ado, let's fucking vent.

Also, every single person regardless of gender is included into this.

● For many years you just thought you were very good at exagerating things.

● And quite frankly, apocalyptic movies were nothing compared to what your lovely, catastrophic mind could do.

● But ever since you took the bull by the horns and started going to theraphy things made more sense. Yes, the beast was there. Yes, sometimes you didn't felt strong enough to face other demons. Yes, starting to take care of and loving yourself felt strange and the guilt of repeting all patterns was a pain. But it also made you apretiate your past vertions and the brave, amazing person you always were.

● The beast however, loved to stir things up when you were happier or more stable than usuall.

● And you hated how it went straight for all the things you care about.

● One moment you were acing your job, feeling like the most badass, smart and skillful person, celebrating with your loved ones and the next something small caught your atention. Some little pattern that came back, or a work colleague's feedback (mean or constructive, you didn't remembered), or a thought that didn't really belonged to you remained there.

● It stood there. Just watching. Eating. And growing.

● More things were added into that inicially small pile: represed feelings, old habbits, more catastrophic ideas, fear of loneliness, insecurities, you name it. It just spiraled from then on. Became a snow ball going down hill.

● You didn't give back the love people gave you. You weren't smart. You didn't have enough courage to separate truth from mind tricks. Your friends are just waiting to leave you. You weren't qualified for your job no matter how much you love it. How were you so unable to get rid of your enviousness? You weren't pretty nor interesting. Morpheus was just waiting to depart from you and find someone better suited for him.

● And the worst part is that you knew it was all bullshit.

● The smallest part of your mind that catched all the practice you gain in therapy knew it as well. But on moments like this, it felt like that piece was numb, quiet and unexisting.

● And Morpheus noticed. Of course he did.

● Your dreams lured him to meet you, to build this lovely bond you now have; but your nightmares showed him your true self once you were together. They were the first sign of anxiety pre therapy and one of the main reasons you decided you wouldn't let your mind get the best of you. But on moments like this they came back harsher than ever, more ruthless. And for a few days, it was enough for you how Dream would melt your night fears away, hold you while listening to you and giving you the advice you asked to your friends and family as well. It was enough to cry by his side and let it all out until there was nothing else to face.

● And then it would all come back again.

● Growing desperate from seeing you suffer so much, the Endless divided his time on taking care of his realm and learning how to help you. You both knew it was more something you had to figure it out on your own, but asking and receiving help was someting you didn't strugle with (or at least not as much as before) anymore. And besides, the spiral you were facing this time was...well, tougher than usual. Not entirely for what it had, but because of its way of coming and going.

● And then, Lucienne proposed a game changer.

● "How about using the word game you challenged Lucifer with, mylord? Why not aplying it on their fears?" She asked as they strolled through the library.

● "How so?"

● "For every hurtful, horrific thing they can think about, give them something equally delighful. Something peaceful for every monster under the bed".

● Morpheus stopped, then, as he considered her idea. He wondered...and decided to give it a shot. Your anxiety didn't play fair. And if the Dream Lord was able to play dirty (without hurting you, of course) then why not use that?

● So he asked you. And you said yes.

● You prepared together one night. Set everything as comfortable as posible and he asked again if you were willing.

● And the answer was the same. Yes.

● You stood face to face. The rules were simple. You had to start with the frase "I fear..." and mention any worry that plagued your mind. You felt self concious, tiny and nervious. But one steady look from him was enough to take a deep breath...and let everything go.

● It stared small. Insecurities about yourself came first. And just like a game of chess, for every fear, something hopeful came along; so certain and sincere you were almost hesitant to keep going, feeling like there was nothing to be scared about. Your ideas about the future along the fear of being left behind were the hardest to face. All the posible and imposible things that were out of your control became myst so heavy that there seamed no way to scape at all no matter how badly you wanted to. You called for Morpheus, blind and shaking. Screaming. Helpless.

● For a solid minute, nothing happened. Everything stilled and became quiet enough to hear your pulse, how your head buzzed.

● And right on your own world or chaos and fog...Morpheus found himself once again in front of you, smiling. He held a cristal ball on his hands.

● "You are not your thoughts. And as long as you believe in yourself even if it's a lie, my dearest, no one and nothing will hurt you. We won't let that happen".

● He held the sphere with his right hand and with the left he created light. Bright enough to gently lift the myst. Bright enough to engulf you and look around clearly for the first time in weeks. Bright enough to treasure what he made for you.

● All around you, all the people that you loved and would love stood around in this world of yours. This new universe in which all the things you wanted for yourself materialized: the home you would build, the career path you would make with your own bare hands, both worth while harships and victories. Your friends and family by your side. Morpheus' love clear as day, not leaving you unless you desired it. Every single honest wish and heartfelt dream was there.

● Dream gave you the orb then. Something material whose content would change depending on the path your life took. Something for you to take to the Waking World when things felt bigger than you.

● Even if you were emotionally exhausted or dispair came to get you, all it took was a look at the ball to at least feel the reminder that you deserved all those things. And you would get them some day. By your own. Helped by someone. But never out of loneliness.

● The battles with your mind would come back from time to time. The beast still thought they knew better than you. But each time, you rose. Victorious. Capable. Brave.

● And each time, he would be there. Always with his open arms and a gentle, firm hand.

Damn, okay. That felt nice. Been dreaming about Morpheus helping me out emocionally speaking for a while. AND I'M BACK IN THE GAME, BABY! Feedback is always apretiated and if I ofended or tr!gered anybody, please let me know in the coments. Yes, this drabble was very self indulgent but that doesn't mean I can get away with the right of hurting someone. That is the last thing I wish to do with my writing. Also, this was based on my own personal experience and I'll always say that every experience is valid. I really hope that anyone who related has found a comfort fic and/or a safe space. Thank you so much to all The Sandman fic writters out there, you are literally feeding me and many others since the show ended and I'm always gratefull for your skills and creativity. Gonna post the spanish version at some point after sleeping a bit. Hope you liked it!!! 💖💖💝

[rhiezus]

“ you get this little dimple when you smile. sometimes i just want to kiss it. ” // EH O AMOR QUE MEXE COM MINHA CABEÇA noah x myah

for most of what he had seen depicted in real life and most fiction, love was supposed to bring out the best in people. of course, they were expectations in the midst of everything, there was an obsession and limits and the hell passion that goes into it when you least expect and that wasn't a realization he had only by watching movies, no. early in life for most of the things ever since birth noah was keen to discover and to leap his heart openly at everything and everyone all at once, something his family therapist qualified to his parents as one of the most precious deeds of his personality. back then, of course, noah wasn't really sure how to take all things compliments or all of the expectations that came along with it as he was growing older. he was the middle child, a role which he seemed to accept just fine in order to fulfill his role in the dynamic-oriented family he was born. it wasn't like everyday life was different because of it, it wasn't like anything changed at all, it was just growing altogether along with him — the perpetuating feeling of being who you are and being accepted for it. love was a funny thing after all because it made you see the real you and make a choice — live for it, whatever it is, or run to keep on looking for whatever else.

being so involved with everyone that you set your heart to find and to love has many ups and many downs, not only was there too much all at once to which it seemly all lost its sense, but it also craved an unforgiving search for what might cure it. he had been hurt once before, two, three, and even more than five times, but it never stopped him from keeping looking, keep living for all that matters. because not only that therapist was right, all of the others that followed seemed to say the same thing "you've got a good heart, noah, don't bury it away" — and he didn't, he couldn't even if he tried which as tiresome as it was intended since the begging of his whole existence. and what an existence that it was, being a child from a family of overachievers, what is hard you ask? could it be classified as such when you've got privileges to take answers for? no, not in the slightest is what he kept repeating over and over again until it actually sunk in and work went overdue to make himself what he, in the limits of what he could, wanted to become.

none of that shit mattered though when he met myah, or — when he looked at her, right this time. not with the passion and luxury of owning someone he had once before, not with the intensity of his teenage years or his curiosity to find what made her who she was and how could he be more of her rather than him. it was quiet and familiar like coming back home when he was a year away, like being held in the arms of his mother at twenty-four years old but feeling like a child again like he knew nothing even though he knew almost everything there was to know now and yet it was not enough. but myah made it seem like the little he could offer, the little he was, the little he knew... was worth of compensation and that compensation was the little she could offer, the little she was, the little she knew — which combined was not all that little after all. and it made sense so, not in the burning ways of before, in the desperate hands of someone who knew not where to put them but rather in a sense of belonging, of pieces falling into places where they never once were but felt they knew the path.

he smiled mischievously under her touch one more time, lazily opening his eyes to find hers already staring at his face with the same peculiar look she had when she was intendedly interested in something. noah pushed back a few rebel strands of her hair back which pulled back to she was placed, but he just wanted to caress her face in the same way she did him. "do it." it was directly as that, he was daring her at the same time he was thinking of stranding her along, kissing her neck, her chin, her cheek... he let his smile take the best of him, rubbing it against her face while their warm noses made contact-making both of them giggle immediately, a contagious type of feeling they only got when they were this close. noah closed his eyes and before she could kiss him, he held her hips with both of his hands and laied her down on the bed before him. they weren't completely awake yet, in fact, they had been in this hazelly state of being happy and in love for months now. he wasn't worried at all if it was too much for one person to feel or if it was rather unreal for both of them, in fact, for probably the first time ever he wasn't thinking anything else.

"you kiss it, whenever. it is yours anyway." he smiled just for her, this time for the last time before kissing her. it didn't matter who moved first, they met along and kept the same passionate moves for as long as it lasted. it was just like that in their relationship: the past, the future, the present... all intertwined with the sensation of belonging. for the first time, there weren't any movie references he could find, there weren't any metaphors of his family he could use, no new joke to be made... he was writing his own story, he was starting his own metaphors and finding his own laugh, with myah and because of her.