shittalkingclassicliterature

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'His landlady came to the door, loosely wrapped in dressing gown and shawl; her husband followed ejaculating.' -War of the Worlds, H. G. Wells

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Look, I hear you, but Quincey P. Morris could totally have brought a crate with him. Please do not underestimate a cowboy.

Important note to all Dracula fans - Coca-Cola was invented in 1886, and the story is set in 1897. This means you can authentically hint at coca-cola in any and all fanworks set around the book’s time period.

(not that it’s very impressive, since Dracula himself wouldn’t drink it, but certainly the American suitor can!)

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"The magic system is never fully explained" yeah that's how life works. Imagine having a story set in modern day America and the characters have several pages of exposition on combustion engines and telecommunication networks before we get to the plot

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if you ever feel incompetent just remember that Dracula was a military leader who graduated from wizard school and yet his best plan to break into a house was to throw a wolf through a window

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When i say enemies to lovers i do not mean "rude to each other to lovers" I need atleast 2.5 murder attempts

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a twitter thread that actually killed me

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NO THANK YOU

Guys, Netflix is going to make a modern day adaptation of Dorian Gray and they're making Basil and Dorian brothers

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“Well, it seemed like a good idea.” (Part 1)

The recent surfeit of people trying to cash in on public domain e-books often results in some of the most ludicrous and misleading covers as ‘publishers’ scramble to match images to books they know nothing about.

LITTLE WOMEN (Louisa May Alcott); PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (Jane Austen); DOROTHY AND THE WIZARD IN OZ (L. Frank Baum)

THE WOMAN IN WHITE (Wilkie Collins); AS I LAY DYING (William Faulkner); THE TURN OF THE SCREW (Henry James)

MOBY DICK (Herman Melville); LOLITA (Vladimir Nabokov); FRANKENSTEIN (Mary Shelley)

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shit, sorry, I'll delete that post right away. I didn't know he was a mythologist at all, let alone that he was infamous for positing a "universal" narrative structure that reduces a variety of works and storytelling traditions to variations on a single Jungian theme regardless of whether their actual contents line up with his thesis. I only knew about his work with Canned Soups.

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people on tumblr are really weird

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So cute

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yeah Romeo and Juliet suuucks they should’ve both survived at the end and lived happily ever after instead. but of course the writer kills them both off for shock value.

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may i offer you some Hamlet booty shorts in these trying times

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Wrong: Ada Lovelace invented computer science and immediately tried to use it to cheat at gambling because she was Lord Byron's daughter.

Right: Ada Lovelace invented computer science and immediately tried to use it to cheat at gambling because that was the closest you could get in 1850 to being a Super Mario 64 speedrunner.

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You’re in her DMs, I’m screaming her name across the moors and she somehow hears me. We’re not the same.