#I accidently knocked a can of monster out of the fridge

[occultopossum]

Also in unrelated news I've had to relocate my kitchen axe After experiencing a final destination series of events

[angelmichelangelo]

If you're up for any prompts

I recently got the idea in my head of 07 Mikey accidently falling asleep in his can after a long day of bday parties and his brother finding him slumped over his middle console.

Yknow like the kind of sleep where you go

"God my eyes hurt imma just close my eyes for a sec" and next thing you know it is 3 and a half hours later and someone is shaking you awake.

Just need overworked 07 mike in general to be honest 😅

here ya go friend !! :)

x

read on ao3!

The computer hums at him, blue light blinking, cutting through the blanketed darkness of the room as Donatello lazily drags his cursor around the screen. Checking his emails leaves a longing feeling gaping at the bottom of his gut. Scrolling through his most recent messages, dating back just months now, are the first ‘letters’ he’d received from his brother. The latest one was mere weeks ago, from Donnie, calling out to him with a simple ‘you okay?’ that’d gone unanswered. Leo didn’t write back, text back or even email back. It was like the earth had swallowed him up entirely. Anger swells up in that deep, gaping ache before he’s sinking it back down with a steady breath, tempering it with a concentrated ease as he checks his call logs for the day. Eyes scanning over his monitor, he catches sight of the time. It’s late. Exceptionally late; Splinter had slunk away off to his room hours ago now after rolling through all his latest episodes he was waiting on, and Raph… well, Raph was doing his whole nocturnal gig and wouldn’t be present until lunch time tomorrow when he got hungry or something. And Mike–

Donnie swivels around in his chair, expecting to see his twin lounging across the sofa, half asleep with his hand in a popcorn bucket or something, but the space is empty, leaving behind only a sense of worry in Donnie. He stands, yanking the headset off from where it was draped around his neck. Mikey should have been home ages ago. He bypasses even checking his usual trackers on his monitor and heads straight up to his brother's room. It is it’s usual teenagery mess; comics strewn across an unkempt bed. In lieu of what’d be the usual boyish mess of laundry dotted about the floor, there’s old bandana’s and foam nunchucks with little teeth marks embedded into the sides on account of some of the monster children his brother dealt with at work. But there’s no brother here. No Mikey napping away the long, tedious work day. He doubles back out the room and towards the kitchen, hoping he’d somehow missed him there with his head no doubt buried in the back of the fridge. “Mike?” He calls out before he reaches the room with a skidding halt. His brother isn’t here either, not in his usual place around the old kitchen table, chowing down on cold leftovers or making breakfast-for-dinner like he often did at this time of night. “Mikey? You home?” He moves forward towards the garage, heart slowing to a steady clip-clop instead of the racehorse pace it’d been dancing along his chest walls when the van comes into view. He wrenches the door open to find his brother slumped across the wheel, leaning against one arm, the other dangling at his side, mouth slightly agape, a thousand scenarios go rushing through Donatello’s mind it’s almost dizzying when his brother makes a small, startling snoring noise that causes him to wake. “Huh?” He blearily blinks at Donnie, sitting himself up slowly and stiffly, no doubt to undo some of the ache that was starting to build there from the hours of being in such an uncomfortable position. “Oh man, did I zonk out in here?” The laughter that rushes out of Donnie is all breathy and worried and a little bit wet from the tears he refuses to let fall as he reaches in and playfully knocks his knuckles against his arm. “Yeah, you moron, You worried me.” Mikey laughs, all easy and normal as he climbs out of the van, slinging an arm around his brother’s neck as they walk back towards the lair. “You’re always worried, Dee,” is what he says, leaning into him to share his warmth. And Donnie wouldn’t dispute that. He’s more worried than not these days. And Mikey is always the one to keep him on all six toes. 

“Yeah,” he croaks, keeping his brother close. “I know.”

[letsbenditlikebennett]

TIMING: Some time after Alex got ouched by that hunter and before Rhett kidnapped Ariadne in his van. (Rude of him tbh :/ ) PARTIES: @ariadnewhitlock & @letsbenditlikebennett SUMMARY: Ariadne comes over to the cabin with snacks and to keep Alex company. They watch Daisy Jones & the Six. CONTENT: Just a sweet lil thread.

In hindsight, it seemed painfully obvious that Alex wouldn’t get a normal birthday party like every other young twenty-something who didn’t moonlight as a lupine monster three nights a month. If anything, the birthday plans only made it more difficult in the aftermath of her run-in with the hunter. There wasn’t really a super chill way to say ‘hey, sorry! I have to cancel that party because I was attacked by a hunter and have to recover’ to all her friends. At least the ones in the know could get a partial version of the truth, but for the others the vague excuse of a medical emergency had to do. Even then, it may not have been a good enough excuse. At least not for someone as sweet as Ariadne who thought she deserved some company and snacks in the wake of her medical emergency. What had she even told Ariadne? Power tool accident? Maybe it’d be best to just not mention even if the limp in her step made the fact there was an ordeal fairly obvious. 

It wasn’t like she could just yell out when she heard Ariadne’s footsteps approaching like she had with Cass. The whole super-hearing thing would be creepy without that context… or a dead giveaway. So Alex waited patiently for the knock on her door before moving away from her spot on the couch to open it. “Hey,” she greeted with a smile that she hoped didn’t look as pained as her body felt. 

“Welcome to la maison de Bennett,” she joked, “It’s small, but we’ve got a smart TV and a Hulu/Disney Plus bundle subscription. Come in, make yourself comfortable. Can I get you anything to drink? Once I sit back down on the couch, I’ll be pretty stationary for a while.” 

—

She was thoroughly done with her friends getting kidnapped or injured. Or having medical emergencies, which was what had happened to Alex. Ariadne didn’t know enough about medical things to help her in any real way, and so offering to be company and give snacks was the best she could manage.

Thankfully, Alex was more than accepting of what Ariadne’d had to offer, and so there was at least that worry off her chest (though admittedly, she felt selfish for even somewhat having had anxiety about anything when her friend had just had some sort of real actual emergency).

“Hey.” She offered her friend a gentle smile.

“It’s your home, I don’t care about the size.” Ariadne offered, “all I mean is, I’m here for you, not your stuff. I can get myself stuff to drink, if you want. But if you have a soda, I’ll take that. Or go get that for myself. Can I get you anything?”

—

“Of course you don’t,” Alex laughed as if it should have been obvious because shouldn’t it have been? Ariadne was never judgmental and was continually kind to everyone she met. It was something she admired about her friend even if she wished Aria stuck up for herself a little bit more. The block button was a friend, too, and she’d remind Aria of that if anyone dared to give her a hard time. “Not sure why I gave you of all people the disclaimer. We have our only judge people for being mean thing which I think is a good motto.” 

Given she wasn’t speaking to Andy and she was doing her damnedest to push Kaden away, the werewolf found she was particularly lonely whenever Cass wasn’t there. Alex found it a bit easier to relax into her spot on the couch knowing that Ariadne was there and she’d have some reprieve from her own thoughts which had grown far too loud for her liking. 

“We have plenty of soda in the fridge,” Alex exclaimed, “There’s Coke, root beer, creme soda, Dr. Pepper, Sprite, sparkling water, Baja Blast… you can grab whatever. I’ll take a Coke if you don’t mind grabbing me one while you’re in there.” 

She hated not being able to be a better host, but deep down, Alex knew that her friend didn’t mind grabbing her own drink or about hosting duties that the werewolf wasn’t able to perform. Aria was there just to be there. “I downloaded all of Daisy Jones and the Six off Amazon Prime,” she told her friend with a smile and patted the sea next to her on the couch, “Have you seen it? It’s totally fictional, but it’s like loosely based on the story of Fleetwood Mac so I thought you might enjoy it.” 

—

“I just – I don’t want you to think I’m going to go around judging you and stuff is all.” Not that Ariadne though Alex would automatically assume that, but it was better to just play it safe from the get-go, so as to limit the likelihood of things being misconstrued. Or maybe that was just the anxiety talking. That much of her anxiety had been around even before she died, so even if she wanted to blame it on becoming a monster, she couldn’t. “I think that’s a super duper good motto, yeah.”

She offered her friend a small shrug. “It’s nice to be here.” Which she’d probably already said and probably didn’t need repeating, but she wanted to highlight this. How good being around Alex felt.

“Dr. Pepper’s a win for me, always. Of course, I might put some ice in a glass if you’d like that? Make it… well, I don’t know if that counts as fancy, but you get what I mean. I hope.” Ariadne let out a halfway sort of a laugh, feeling awkward for a moment, if only because this was time for Alex, and not time for Ariadne to be taking up excessive space or making a total fool of herself.

“I actually have,” she buried her face in her hands for a moment, “but it’s super good and I’ve been meaning for a rewatch. Camila in it is so dreamy. I mean, to be fair, they all are, but…”

—

“I don't,” Alex assured. Surprisingly enough, she found that she meant it, too. Not once since she had met Ariadne had the werewolf ever felt judged and this moment was no different. Given, her friend didn't know everything there was to know about her and may have ran the other way if she knew she was a werewolf, but maybe she wouldn't. She seemed pretty big on the not judging people thing. ”It is,“ she smiled.

“I mean, she's a doctor,” Alex  joked, ”How could she not win? We love a well-educated... soft drink?“ She laughed a bit at how ridiculous her own joke was and gently smoothed over Puppyeye's fur as she stirred in her sleep. ”If you get out a couple of the wine glasses my cousin bought, I think it totally counts as fancy. I think there's actual glasses now, too... apparently everything isn't meant to be drank out of coffee mugs. Who knew?“

She knew, but they'd always been tight on money, so excess containers to hold their beverages seemed a little bit silly. Alex guessed that wasn't really the case anymore, but part of her still enjoyed her coffee mugs best. 

Alex kept her face from falling when Aria mentioned that she'd seen the show. She supposed she shouldn't be surprised since Aria had been the one to introduce her to Fleetwood Mac in the first place, but she found herself grinning when her friend seemed happy to rewatch. 

“A rewatch it is then,” she exclaimed, “With a super dreamy cast at that.” She nudged some blankets towards where Ariadne would be sitting and waiting for her friend to join in the spot beside her. “Did you read the book, too?” She knew the answer was probably yes, but it'd be nice to know how much the show followed the book. 

—

“Well, I’m glad you don’t.” She was, really. Exceptionally so, Ariadne found herself thinking. Alex was nice and cool and kind, and it was through pure luck that the two of them had met, and she was grateful for that, even if the fact that Alex wasn’t feeling well made her feel a bit (or more than a bit) down.

“Pretty impressive for a soft drink, yeah. I don’t know if any of the other ones have degrees, but I also don’t want to be rude and assume one way or the other.” Ariadne watched the dog twitch in her sleep. “Um – I – Puppyeye might be happier elsewhere? If – if that’s okay.” So that Ariadne didn’t ruin everything because of what she was, and because animals could tell that she was bad. “Coffee mugs are perfect, though, but fancy wine glasses sounds like a fun way to have soda, yeah!” She nodded, enthusiastically. “Also like, you can eat ice cream out of coffee mugs too, so they’re multi-use and get to have fun pictures on them, sometimes.”

Another nod. “Yes! It’ll be just as good as watching it for the first time, though. Because you’re totally right, the cast are all wildly dreamy. Do you have a favorite? Like, dreamiest one? I – only if you wanna share.” Ariadne wasn’t sure if that was too weird to ask, but she’d asked it already and so, she supposed, there was no real turning back now. “I did – well, I listened to it on audiobook, which was such a good way to read it.”

—

“I think it’s safe to say they’d throw doctor in the name if they were doctors,” Alex replied playfully, “That’d be a major marketing bag fumble if they weren’t throwing that in the name. So Dr. Pepper is clearly the genius of soft drinks. And delicious, which is the most important thing.” She heard a soft whimper in her head and saw Puppyeye twitching in her sleep. When Aria spoke, something clicked as she remembered her friend didn’t do too well around pets… and didn’t have a discernible heartbeat. “Oh, right,” she nodded and carefully lifted herself from the couch. 

“Here girl,” Alex lightly patted against her good leg for the puppy to follow to their room. Once the puppy was cozy in her bed, she shut the door quietly and made her way slowly back out to the living room, trying not to grimace with each step. She called out from the hallway, “Wine glasses it is.” 

She made an effort to not look towards the kitchen as she positioned herself back on the couch. While Alex has her suspicions about what Aria might be, she wasn’t sure she was ready to dive into the whole story of what happened with the hunter. She was tired of explaining… and mostly just tired. Soda and snacks and Daisy Jones sounded better than any of that. 

“We love a dreamy cast,” Alex smirked as Aria joined her on the couch, “I think we’re set up for the perfect afternoon of watching a whole season of a show. We’ve got soft drinks, candy, salty snacks… I can probably convince my cousin to bring home a pizza later.” She found herself cozying into the blankets as she pressed play and let herself be taken away by the story on the screen with the quiet and comforting presence of a good friend next to her. It was exactly the kind of afternoon she needed and she felt lucky to have a friend like Ariadne to spend it with. 

[sergeantrosabellaswan]

Am I a Monster? Disney Frozen & MCU crossover, CHAPTER THREE

Summary:

Elsa and Anna Arendelle. Sisters first, best friends forever. Even with Elsa being the one with cryokinesis- the enhanced abilities to control snow, ice and the cold. Struggling to make ends meet with Elsa attending college and Anna finishing up her senior year of high school, they accidently attract the attention of both SHIELD and HYDRA.

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOTRDSS:

Chapter three! Whoop whoop!

CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 1080

A sudden knock at the door summoned Elsa to answer it, wearing rubber gloves over her cotton gloves and a cleaning rag thrown over her shoulder.

She creaked open the door, the safety bolt still in place- one could never be too safe, especially in these parts. On the other side of the door stood three people.

A handsome blond man with twinkling blue eyes and dressed causally in a blue T-shirt and a baseball hat that proclaimed World War II vet.

Steven Grant Rogers, aka Captain America.

A beautiful redhead with hazel eyes and dressed sharply in jeans and a green blouse.

Natasha Romanoff, AKA Black Widow.

And a man standing slightly behind the other two, dressed in a loose black sweatshirt and had his hands stuffed into his pockets.

James “Bucky” Buchanan Barnes, aka White Wolf.

“Hi,” Elsa greeted them, shutting the door to unlatch the flimsy deadbolt before opening it once more. “Anna and I are getting the apartment cleaned up, you can come in, if you want.”

The moment they were inside, they got to work without being asked to do so- Steve started to untack the blankets from the walls and neatly fold them, Natasha began to sweep the hardwood floors and Bucky got started on unfolding and taping boxes to be packed. Elsa returned to cleaning the bathroom, warning them all to be quiet as how Anna was still sound asleep.

Twenty minutes later, Elsa was still scrubbing at a stubborn stop in the tub that refused to go from pale yellow to white. She paused for a moment, sitting back and swiping at her forehead, taking some of the sweat with her wrist.

“Come… on…” she grunted, looking up as a dark shadow fell over her to see Sergeant Barnes.

“Hey, what else can I do to help?” he asked her before seeing what she had been doing. “One sec.”

When he reappeared, he carried the tiny jug of white vinegar that Elsa kept in the kitchen and nudged her out of the way.

“Where did you learn that?” Elsa asked him as the stain disappeared under a hard scrub and a douse of white vinegar.

“My ma worked as a maid, and this was one of her many tricks from cleaning,” Bucky smiled wistfully at a memory that only he was privy to.

Elsa only smiled, looking up as Anna appeared in the doorway, yawning and stretching.

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” she teased her sister, who only let out a disgruntled grunt before wandering off again.

“You really love her, don’t you?” Bucky asked her, drawing away from the now sparkling white bathtub.

“She’s got no one else honestly,” Elsa shrugged nonchalantly.

“No parents?” He wasn’t judging.

“Dead.” Elsa’s voice was limp as she played with her fingers. “We lived in the mountains up north in Rhode Island. Shortly after I was accepted to New York University on a half scholarship, they died.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he hummed apologetically, standing with her and helping her by gathering the cleaning supplies into his arms and trailing after her.

“Bathroom’s clean!” Elsa announced as she found her younger sister, eating a bowl of cereal while Natasha cleaned the refrigerator and freezer.

“Yippee eh yo ki aye,” grouched Anna as she took another bite. The redhead in the fridge snorted and Steve, who was leaving with a glass of water developed a confused look on his face.

“Damn kids these days,” muttered Bucky teasingly.

Elsa quickly removed her glove and made a perfectly sized snowball in her hand. she wound back and threw, Bucky jumping at the frozen ice ball that collided with the back of his head.

“JESUS FUCK!” His eyes were comically huge with a mixture of disbelief and was clearly wondering what had just happened.

“POTTY MOUTH JAR!” Anna cheered, all of a sudden chipper as she bounded out of the kitchen and came back a minute later, holding up a jar with money in it.

“How much do I owe you?” Bucky reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet.

“It’s a solid one hundred cents every time you drop the F bomb!” Anna looked delighted as he handed her a bill.

“Tell you what, why don’t you start up a tab for me?” He looked over to Elsa.

“One time, Anna made over a thousand dollars just by getting people to fork over money for her trusty potty mouth jar,” she deadpanned.

Steve almost spat out his mouthful of water and Natasha started to wheeze.

“Which one of the Avengers has the potty mouth?” The pale haired woman’s eyebrow arched impressively as she got busy with collecting the utensils from the silverware drawer.

The three Avengers looked at each other before answering her.

Elsa broke out into a laugh.

“Wow, sounds like I will make some serious bank!” Anna cheered with utter delight as she began to help by throwing the neatly folded blankets into a box.

“Anna, can you please get started on packing up our bedroom?” Elsa requested of her. “Just throw our stuff in together- I really don’t care either way.”

“Okie dokie!” And with that, Anna went skipping off to their shared bedroom toting two cardboard boxes with her.

“Anna’s going to make a fortune, isn’t she?” Elsa asked.

If you liked this, then please consider buying me a coffee HERE It only costs $3!!!

TAGLIST

@captain-ariel-barnes

@ofstarsandvibranium

@invisibleanonymousmonsters

@itsanerdlife

@crushedbyhyperbole

@brooklyn-boy

@yours-bucky

@anythingstarlight

@shenanigans-and-imagines

@tilltheendwilliwrite

@after-avenging-hours

@kaunis-sielu

[mimi-ya]

jealous-est ~ portgas d. ace x reader

3,500 words | she/her reader

summary: jealously can make a person do crazy things

masterlist | part 1 | part 2

previous part

“I wanna play, now!”

“Luffy.” You answer with a head pat, “I’m talking to Sabo right now.”

“But you’ve been talking forever!” He stomps his foot.

Sabo swipes the foam sword from Luffy’s hand, “You played with (Y/N) all day. Now it’s my turn to hang out.”

“This sucks!”

Your mouth drops in surprise, ready to chastise the boy for his language. But someone beats you to it.

“Sounds like someone needs their mouth washed out with soap!” Followed by the front door closing.

“Ace!” Luffy spins and sprints at full speed to his brother, excited for someone who might give him some attention.

Ace bends down to scoop up his brother, pinching his nose, “You seem pretty excited to get a cheek full of suds, huh?”

“No!” Luffy crosses his arms, “I just wanna play with (Y/N)!”

“(Y/N)?” Ace steps into the kitchen, smile lighting up his face, “Oh (Y/N)! What are you still doin’ here?”

“Hi love.” You slide over, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“Blah!” Luffy sticks his tongue out in disgust.

“Just catching up with Sabo.” You ruffle Luffy’s hair, “But I actually have to head out.”

“No!” Luffy whines, “We didn’t get to play! You talked with Sabo so long!”

Ace nods his head, “And what about me? I didn’t get to play at all!”

You roll your eyes, just as Sabo cuts in.

“Didn’t you two get to play this morning?”

“What!” Luffy screeches, “You played without me?!”

“No!” Ace shouts, face flushed, “We were not playing! We were- well it’s not- that isn’t!”

“Hey Luffy?” You pull the attention away from your bumbling idiot, “How about we play at the park on Saturday? Maybe we can invite your friends too?”

“When is Saturday?”

“Three days.” You hold up several fingers, still trying to get Luffy in the habit of counting his numbers.

Luffy repeats your hand gesture, staring intently at his three little fingers and then looking up at you in distress, “But that’s forever!”

“It’ll be here before you know it.” You laugh and then glancing at the clock on the wall, “Alright, I really need to go. I’ll see you all later!”

“I’ll text you tomorrow!” Sabo calls over his shoulder as you head out the door.

Ace swipes a slice of the pepper Sabo is cutting on the counter, “Whattya texting her ‘bout?”

“Just babysitting stuff.” Sabo waves his hand, “And quit talking with your mouth full, you’ll teach Luffy bad habits.”

“Kid’s already a monster.” Ace mutters, “Aren’t ya, ya little gremlin?” He asks with a tickle to the boy’s stomach.

“Rawh!” Luffy squeals, trying to squirm away.

Sabo rolls his eyes when Luffy almost knocks his head against the fridge, “Alright, alright! Go roughhouse elsewhere before there’s an accident and we can’t have dinner.”

Both Ace and Luffy immediately stop their games, taking the threat of no dinner very seriously.

“Let’s get outta here Luffy. Before Sabo starves us.”

.

“Pops said if he catches you sitting on your ass one more time, you’re getting canned.” Marco knock’s Ace’s feet off the couch to make room to sit.

Ace cries in protest, “And what’s that make you doin’?”

Marco props his feet onto the small coffee table with his arms behind his head, “Taking a well-deserved break.”

“Oh whatever!” Ace rolls his eyes, returning his attention to his phone, “Pops like me better anyway.” He mutters under his breath.

“And what’s got you so distracted anyway?” Marco swipes the phone from his hands, ignoring Ace’s yelp, “Oh?” His knowing eyes cut over, “And who’s beautiful witch?”

“None of your damn business!” Ace snaps, getting his phone back.

“Hey Izou!” Marco calls over his shoulder, “Get a load of what Ace’s calls his girlfriend! He’s gonna be dumped by the end of the month!”

Izou appears from around the corner, “Dumped and fired? Rough month.”

“Shut up!” Ace snaps, but it’s missed over the laughing, “I’m going to lunch!” And he stomps out before he can be ridiculed by anyone else, even though he’s sure it’ll have spread like wildfire by the time he gets back.

“What’s the deal anyway?” Ace grumbles to himself as he walks down the street, “You are beautiful.”

Too beautiful. Why you took pity on a poor sap like him he’ll never understand, but he’ll do his damndest every single day to keep that smile on your face he loves so much.

Speaking of smile. Maybe a bouquet of flowers or sweet treat could brighten your afternoon. He knows you’ll need it after spending the afternoon with Luffy.

Probably will get shit from the guys when he walks back in with your gift. But to see you eyes light up at the random thoughtfulness of his gesture?

Worth it.

Ace shoves his hands in his pockets, whistling a simple tune as he peers into the shops along the block, waiting for something to catch his eye.

He slows at one storefront that’s displaying jewelry in the window. Shiny bracelets, dainty earrings, and pretty necklaces. His stomach flips when he glances at the rings.

Way too early to be thinking about that. Right? Ace lets out an embarrassed laugh to himself. Still doesn’t stop him from thinking about what your reaction might be.

Would you gasp in disbelief? Tackle him to the ground in excitement? Tear up in joy?

Ace really hopes to find out one day.

His brain must really be falling into this daydream, because Ace swears he can see your figure in the window, wait a minute.

With a quick spin around Ace realizes you are here. Across the street, rocking on your heels outside of some café.

A large grin splits onto Ace’s face as he raises his hand, “Hey!” You look up from your phone with a smile, “(Y/N)-” But his voice trails off when he notices it wasn’t his presence that got your attention.

Ace watches you turn towards an approaching figure with a warm smile.

And Sabo of all people strolls up to greet you, pulling you into a hug. Ace frowns a bit and Sabo nods to the café, opening the door and following inside after you.

Do you two hang out or something? You’ve never mentioned hanging out with Sabo before. And why wouldn’t either of you invite him?

Ace whips out his phone, typing out a message.

Ace: hey bby, u busy?

Your text comes in almost immediately.

Y/N: running errands, need me to pick you up anything?

Ace frowns. He supposes getting coffee with Sabo could count as errands, but why not just say that? His fingers quickly return to the buttons.

Ace: u at the store?

Y/N: yep! just grabbing a few things.

Ace can really feel the rock settle in his stomach now as he lets you know he’s well and returns his phone to his pocket.

Why are you lying?

.

The rest of the week drags on for Ace. They guys at work seems to notice the shift in his mood but chose not to comment on it.

When Ace makes it to the end of week and gets home on Friday, he’s disappointed to see you’ve already left for the day. Just another twist in his stomach.

Are you avoiding him or something?

“Ace.”

He hasn’t been able to catch you once this week.

“Aceee.”

But he’s sure you’re able to spend a few minutes with Sabo each day.

“Ace!”

A smack to the stomach pulls Ace from his bitter musings.

“Ace! Ace! Ace!” A hit punctuating each word.

“What!” Ace snaps, glaring at Luffy who’s plopped next to him on the couch and using him as a punching bag.

Luffy looks pleased to finally get his attention, “I’m bored.”

Ace rolls his eyes. Kid was always bored since nothing could hold his interest for more than thirty minutes before he needed something new to do.

“And what do you want me to do about it?”

Luffy shrugs, “I dunno.”

“I’m heading out!” Sabo passes by quickly, “I’ll be back later!”

Ace looks over his shoulder as Sabo is gathering up his keys, “Where you going?”

“Just out.” Sabo shrugs, dusting off his jacket.

Ace’s eyes narrow. His brother had an eccentric fashion sense. Most would probably categorize it as overdressed, but to the trained eye one could tell when Sabo was actually dressed to impress.

And it’s looks like he’s busting out the cravat today.

“Dinner’s in the fridge, don’t wait up!”

Ace watches the door shut behind his brother before turning back to his younger one with a grin, “Hey Luffy, I gotta an idea.”

.

“Well?” Ace spins around, “How do I look?”

“Stupid!” Luffy cackles, trying to grab for the fake hair that’s tickling Ace’s chin.

“Stupid, huh?’ Ace swats at his brother’s hand, “Guess you don’t want the one I got you then?” He reveals a second fake beard and mustache.

Luffy starts to jump up and down, screaming “Gimme!”

“Alright, alright.” Ace bends down, trying to help secure the disguise on his brother, “Now, do you remember the plan?”

Luffy bobs his head, “We’re undercover!”

“That’s right.” Ace nods, tying the band in a knot to help make up for the smallness of Luffy’s head, “Which means we can’t take our disguises off, or we’ll get caught, got it?”

“Got it!” Luffy smiles, and as if to prove the point, he tugs on the beard, letting it snap back to his face without a resounding sting.

The two had quickly run to the store, picking up the necessary items before heading over to the café Ace had spotted you and Sabo at earlier this week.

Although now that an hour has passed sitting in the back corner, Ace is wondering if his hunched had been correct or not.

“I’m bored.” Luffy whines, less excited to be there now that he’s run out of chocolate milk, “When is something cool gonna happen?”

Ace resists the urge to agree, “This is what it means to be undercover, Luf. Sometimes we have to wait.”

Luffy drops his head into his hands, nearly knocking the empty mug that once held his hot chocolate onto the floor, “I don’t wanna be undercover anymore.”

Ace peers around the café. There’s the woman who’s reading a thick book as a blue haired man sits across from her tinkering with some metal contraption. A gruff man standing behind the counter who’s been sending wary looks their way the entire time.

The calm atmosphere of the coffee shop final broken when a bell chimes as the door opens.

Ace’s eyes dart to the entrance, but he deflates when he sees it’s just some woman. Her orange hair curling around her chin as she shoots a smile over her shoulder to the man behind her.

 When said man strolls in, Ace feels his jaw drop to the ground.

“Ace!” Luffy shouts, “It’s Sab-mp!” Ace had quickly cupped a hand over his brother’s mouth, pulling him lower to the table.

“He’s two timing her!” Ace hisses, watching as Sabo and the woman places their orders at the counter.

Luffy pulls Ace’s hand down, “He’s doing math?”

“I can’t believe this!” Ace is fuming, “How could he do this to (Y/N)?”

“Ace.” Luffy pulls on Ace’s sleeve.

“I can’t believe he’s this kind of guy!” Ace’s eyes follow the pair as they grab a table closer to the door.

“But Ace”

“Who raised him!” Ace fumes.

“Ace!” Luffy pulls at the beard on Ace’s face, letting it snap back.

“Ow! What the fu-”

“Ace!” Luffy luckily cuts his brother off before he can learn a new word, “(Y/N) is right there!” He points his small finger over Ace’s shoulder.

Ace spins in his chair, “(Y/N)!” he gasps, finally seeing you’re standing behind him with a giant gaudy hat and sunglasses covering half your face, “What are you doing here!”

“Same thing as you it would seem.” You pull down your sunglasses with a wink.

“We’re spies!” Luffy jumps in his seat.

You slide into the chair next to him, “Well don’t you know the first rule of espionage is to be quiet my little pirate king?” You inform him with a pinch of his cheek.

“We’re not ‘spionaging, we’re spies.” Luffy corrects you.

A laugh bubbles in your throat, but before you can double correct Luffy Ace slams his hand on the table.

“Hello? Do you even care what’s going on over there!” He hisses, pointing to the table with a couple who had surprisingly not noticed the scene the three spies were making.

“Of course, I do! Why else do you think I’m here?”

Ace sputters, “And you’re not going to say anything?”

“Why would I?” You cock your head.

But Ace has had enough. He’s not going to let you sit here and just be played by his brother. As if you weren’t the most beautiful and kindest woman in the entire world!

“That’s it.” Ace stands to his feet, “I’m going over there.”

“What? Ace, stop!” You whisper, trying to grab his arm.

“Mine!” Luffy gleefully shouts at the same time, making a grab for the iced coffee Ace left behind and wasting no time to chug its contents.

“Luffy!” You quickly return you attention to the boy, pulling back the drink from his mouth. The last thing this kid needs is more energy.

You’re so distracted with Luffy that you can’t even watch the disaster that’s unfolding across the coffee shop.

But that doesn’t stop Ace as he stomps up to the table. The two don’t even notice him! Too lost in each other’s sickening eyes and giggles.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Ace slams his hand on the table, rattling the cups. Finally, the couple reel back in shock at the dramatic interruption.

Sabo’s eyes go wide, stuttering out, “A- Ace?! What are you doing here?!” Surprised to see his brother standing there with a glare on his face, but doubly surprised to see a cheap beard on his face that doesn’t even match his hair.

The mysterious woman cocks her head, “Your brother?”

“Me?” Ace snarls, ignoring the comment, “What are you doing here with her when (Y/N) is right over there!” Ace points over his shoulder and Sabo and the woman’s eyes land on you as you’re trying to wrangle Luffy under control.

Sabo’s mouth drops, “What does (Y/N) have to do with any of this?”

“Gee.” Ace crosses his arms with an eyeroll, “I don’t know! Maybe that you’re two timing her with this chick!”

“What?” Sabo’s mouth drops, but he can’t get another word in while Ace is on a roll.

“After everything she’s done for us? And you’re just gonna treat her like that!” Ace crosses his arms with a scoff, “And you say I set a bad example for Luffy.”

Sabo feels like he’s living in an alternate world right now, “What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“Sabo.” The woman interrupts gently, “Is (Y/N) someone special to you?”

“What?!” Sabo shakes his head back and forth, “No! I mean, kind of! But she’s Luffy’s babysitter!” Sabo swears he must be losing his mind right now, “And she’s dating him!” He nearly screams and wildly points at Ace.

But his explanation doesn’t do any good because now the woman just looks even more surprised than before.

“Hey!” Another voice adds to the mix, “You can’t just leave your coffee unattended around Luffy! And what the hell are you doing now!”

“(Y/N)!” Sabo squeaks.

“Ah, (Y/N).” The woman says with lips pressed into a thin line.

“(Y/N).” Luffy whines into your shoulder, “My tummy hurts.”

“(Y/N)! Can you believe what Sabo is doing here?” He gestures to the two sitting at the table.

You readjust Luffy on your hip, “Besides being annoyed by you?”

“Me?” Ace turns fully to face you with an incredulous look on his face, “I’m the one defending you honor even though you’re two timing me and he’s two timing you!”

“Huh?!” You almost drop Luffy right out of your arms, “I’m not cheating on you with Sabo!”

“Then why did I see the two of you here on a date the other day!” He shoots back, “Bein’ all giggly and shit!”

“Oh my god.” You want to smack yourself from his stupidity, “It wasn’t a date! We were checking the place out to see if he wanted to bring Koala here!”

Ace crosses his arms, “And just who the hell is Koala!”

A throat clears from the side, the mysterious woman rising her hand, “That would be me.”

“Oh.” The fight deflates from Ace as he looks between Sabo and the newly named woman, gears slowly turning in his head, “So you’re not cheating on me?”

“No, you big dummy.” You roll your eyes, “I was just trying to help Sabo a bit.”

“Koala.” Sabo pulls her attention back, “I am so sorry-” But before he can finish his apology is cut short by Ace’s loud laugher.

“Oh, that’s great!” Ace cackles, “Practicing because you were nervous!” He croons.

Sabo immediately colors, fists clenched, “That’s rich coming from you! Like we didn’t hear you practicing in the mirror before you’re first date with (Y/N)!”

“What!” Ace’s eyes go wide as he quickly glances at you, “I- I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“And you used to call (Y/N) a witch!” Luffy chirps.

Sabo drops his head into his hands, letting out a deep sigh before meeting Koala’s bemused stare, “I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again.”

“Whaddya mean never see you again!” Ace butts in, “You’re a catch Sabo!” He spins towards Koala, “You should be counting your stars you even got a first date! I mean, he folds his underwear! Who does that!”

“Alright.” You cut in, pulling Ace back by the collar of his shirt, “I’m glad we established you don’t fold your underwear. But how about we leave these two alone now?”

“I’m just saying babe!” Ace rambles as he’s dragged out of the shop.

Once you’re outside you finally let go of Ace, placing Luffy on the ground beside you. “Want to explain what the hell that was back there?” You raise a brow, “Do you really think I would cheat on you? And with Sabo? That either of us would do that to you?”

“What else was I supposed to think! I saw you and him here and when I texted ya, you said you were doin’ shopping!”

“Oh.” It’s your turn to look a little embarrassed, shrinking from your geared up stance, “I didn’t mean to lie to you, it’s just. Sabo wanted to keep it a secret.”

Ace shrugs, awkwardly rubbing at his neck, “It’s alright. I should have just tried talking to you. Instead of doing,” He waves to his face, “all this.”

“I don’t know.” A small smile dances on your lips, reaching out to twirl some of the fake beard hairs, “This might be a nice look for you.”

Ace raises a brow, pulling you in by the waist, “Is that so?” He leans closer, earning a giggle when the hairs tickle your face.

“Knock it off!” You squeal, batting at his chest.

Ace redoubles his efforts, causing quite the scene on the street as he plants a sloppy kiss to your cheek.

“Ace!” You laugh, finally getting enough space between the two of you that he relents, mirth still dancing in his eyes. Your smile softens, heart still fluttering thinking about how much this dumb man loves you. “But really Ace, next time, talk to me, okay?”

“Promise.” He nods, “And I’m sorry for not trusting you.”

Your fingers push down the beard so you can properly cup his cheek, “And I’m sorry for giving you a reason not to.”

“We’ll work on our communication babe.” He nuzzles into your cheek, “The article said it was one of the foundations of a healthy relationship.”

“Article?” You hold back a snort, “Reading the relationship advice columns in the newspaper now?”

“And so what if I am?” But the words lose their bravado when a pink dusting fills his freckled cheeks.

You roll your eyes, “And here you were givin’ Sabo shit for scoping out the coffee shop.”

“How’d ya think that’s going anyway?”

“Well.” You both turn to peer inside, “Now that we’re out of their hair I’m sure- oh shit!”

.

Luffy kicks his feet back in forth in the spot beside Sabo, loudly slurping from the straw of his brother’s drink with his beard hanging loosely around his neck.

Not that Sabo cares it’s the boy’s second caffeinated drink of the day, you and Ace can deal with his energy burst and crash as payback. It’s the least you deserve after you crashed his date and now are too busy making up outside to notice Luffy scampered off.

“Hey Koala?”

“Yes, Luffy?” She gives Luffy a warm smile and Sabo feels his heart stutter at the sight. No wonder Ace fell for you so quickly.

“Does this mean you’re gonna be my babysitter too?”

[momolady]

Tiefling Boyfriend: Leary

He was a tiefling, she was a girl, she was also on a bad date.

Female Human x Male Monster Narrator (both cis)

When I took a job as a waiter, I was hoping to learn about the kitchen, because I wanted to be a chef. Instead, I learned that being a waiter was like working retail but with more steps. If I didn’t have bills, I would have quit a long time ago. Tips are usually good, but aside from those and free food the work is draining.

On my days off I’m usually holed up in my apartment, undressed, unwashed, and slouched on the sofa, or over the stove where I am practicing. I still want to be a chef, even after everything I’ve gone through. I love to cook, and maybe one day I can have my own little food truck or cafe, nothing grand like the place I work at. After working there, the idea of having a big restaurant has lost its appeal. Besides, the things I like to cook would be better in the small, outdoor kind of place anyway.

Whatever I cook, I usually leave for my roommate, or at least I think I still have a roommate. We work such opposite hours that I rarely ever see him. I like to pretend my apartment is haunted, and the ghost is eating the food and leaving me uplifting notes on the fridge. I miss having someone to talk to who isn’t part of the restaurant scene.

Tonight the restaurant is a little slow, so I’m not running around as much. I have a few tables, and I’m trying to pay as much attention to them as possible so the tips will make up for the lack of seats filled. One such table looks to be a first date. First dates are pretty easy to gauge, because one or both parties are usually nervous, one person often does all the talking, and there are long, awkward silences.

This date is one of the most one-sided I’ve ever seen. You look so nervous, like you’re trying to disarm a bomb. Your hair is done so nicely, your makeup is impeccable, and you’re wearing a really lovely dress. The guy you’re with has done nothing but talk all evening the flapping of his mouth diminishes his good looks. When I take your order, you’re getting ready to order the bisque, but he interjects and says something that will never fail to repulse me. “I think you should have the salad. Don’t you think that’s better for you?”

The look on your face is enough. You agree to the salad, but your look of disappointment doesn’t fade. If anything, it only gets worse as the date goes on. Every time I go to the table to check on you, your date is talking sideways out of his mouth about you. The needling comments annoy me, so I can’t imagine what they’re doing to you. “You really have a pretty face, you know? Your grandmother was so right about that. If you lost some weight, you’d be unstoppable.” That makes my blood curdle. I was pretty chubby in my youth, and the amount of times that was said to me made me want to remain chubby. It isn’t his right to comment on such things.

“I don’t have an issue with big girls. I think they’re great.” I don’t have an issue with my foot up his ass, but he might. Your smile at him is painful. You’re putting up with this so well, but you don’t need to!

“If you dyed your hair you wouldn’t look so frumpy.”

What the fuck? I’ve had enough. When I go to fill his wine glass, I knock it over ‘accidentally’. It’s not a skill I like to boast about, and I rarely ever have to use it, but sometimes you deal with a diner who is so vile they deserve a stained lap. The glass falls directly onto his chest, and he shouts and stands up, looking at me like I’m the most reprehensible thing on the planet. Maybe I am, but I still feel higher than him. “You stupid…” He scoffs and tries to wipe himself dry. “What the hell are you doing?”

“So sorry, sir! It was an accident. I’ll clean up here if you want to go to the bathroom.” I point towards the back. I don’t make it a point to lie often, but the situation called for it.

He slams down the napkin on the table. “I’ll see your manager when I get back.”

I make a face at his back, then quickly turn to you. “Would you like to run away?”

Your eyes widen and you pout slightly. “Excuse me?”

“Now is your chance to run,” I whisper. “There’s a line for the bathroom, so he’ll be busy for a while.”

Your expression shifts from surprise to fear. “He’s my ride, though.”

I don’t think I could stand thinking about him taking you home. “I’ll take you home,” I offer. Then I extend my hand. “I’m Leary.”

You take my hand, shaking gently. “I remember,” you say with a small smile. Then you introduce yourself. “Please, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m going to worry. You look miserable, and you have since you walked in. No offense if you like this guy…”

“I don’t,” you interject quickly. “My grandmother set us up. She likes him.”

“Then there is no reason to be polite,” I say with a smile. “I can get someone to cover for me, since it’s slow.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” you answer quietly. “It’ll be fine. I’ll go home and never have to call him again.”

I can’t help but frown. The way this guy has gone on tonight, leaving him alone with you makes me worry. “You look too nice to waste the evening on him. Just letting you know that.” I finish cleaning up the table. “Time is precious, so don’t let him squander it.”

Your cheeks become rosy and you smile shyly up at me. “Thank you.”

I smile warmly in return. “You deserve to hear it. Don’t thank me.”

You glance back towards the bathrooms. “Maybe you should get your manager, so he won’t be so upset when he comes back.”

My grin grows. “Not to worry. I’m the manager tonight.”

You bite down on your lip to keep from giggling. I wink at you. “I’ll be right back with your complimentary dessert.” I go back to the kitchen with the dirty dishes and the towels I used to mop up the wine and plate two desserts, rolling my eyes already at what your date will say. But I’m prepared, and if he dares to cause any more trouble, I have backup, because the owner is the chef as well as my friend.

“Here you are.” I lay down the plates on the table. The jerk hasn’t returned yet, but I can hear the bathroom door slam open as I place the decadent cheesecake before you.

“My favorite!” you say excitedly. I know a salad isn’t the most filling dinner, so I can tell you’re excited for something else

“It’s not much, but it’s the best I can…”

“No,” the jerk huffs as he storms up upon the table. “Take those away.”

I look at you, then back at him. “They’re complimentary, though.”

“She doesn’t need cheesecake,” he sniffs. “I want to see the manager.”

I nod. “That’s me.”

The guy looks flustered for the briefest of seconds, then starts to laugh. “I know this scam. I’ve seen the memes. Seriously, I want to talk to whoever’s in charge.”

“That’s me,” I say again. “And I’m giving you complimentary dessert.”

“She doesn’t need cheesecake,” he repeats.

“No one does, it’s dessert. It’s just nice.” I’m ready to throw hands with this boy. I bite my tongue to keep composure. “If you want something else, I’ll get you something else.”

“Don’t you have anything with fruit for her?”

I place a fork near her. “There’s more raspberries on the plate than cheesecake.”

Your date scoffs and rolls his eyes. “We don’t want your pity desserts.”

“I want it,” you say shyly.

He barely looks at you. He’s still glaring at me. “We’re leaving. I’m not spending another second here.” He tugs at your arm. “Let’s go.”

“Ow!” you yelp.

He lets go of your arm. “Then get up.”

I move beside you. “Then go.”

Your date stares at me like I’m crazy, then just scoffs and leaves without another word. I make sure he’s gone, then tend to you. “Are you okay?” I ask gently.

You’re rubbing your arm where he grabbed you. “Yeah. I already had a scratch there, so that’s why I yelled. I accidentally ran into a cactus this morning.” You look near tears, but you smile anyway.

I sigh with relief. “Eat your dessert, and take your time. I’ll bring you some coffee if you like.”

You nod. “Just a small one, though. Thank you.”

Someone who saw the whole event pays for your half of the dinner, which was so nice. And since he stormed out without paying, that meant we could refuse him service later. A small win. I brought you coffee and offered to call you a car to take you home.

“Thank you Leary. You’ve been so nice,” you say as you get up to leave. “Is there any way I can repay you?”

I would ask for a date, but I don’t think that’s what you need right now. “I just wanted to help. I don’t need any sort of thanks.”

Your smile is so sweet, and when you touch my hand to give it a squeeze I can still smell the raspberries on you. You leave, and I think that’s the end of it. Maybe I’ll see you again one day, and maybe I won’t. But the next evening, I’m going over the schedule at the bar when, out of the corner of my eye, I see someone walk in. “I’ll be with you in just a second,” I say.

“That’s okay. I just wanted to stop in and thank you again.” It’s you, carrying a potted plant that has a big blue ribbon tied around it, and you look very pleased with yourself.

“Oh, hey,” I say in amazement. “It’s you again. How did you rnight go?”

“He’s been texting me a lot, but I’ve just been ignoring him.” You set the potted plant on the bar. “I wanted to thank you properly, so I brought you this. It’s an aloe plant.”

“Oh, thank you,” I pull the aloe closer to me. “I’ve been wanting to get a plant for the apartment.”

Your cheeks turn bright red. “The leaves reminded me of the shape of your ears. But it’s also easy to take care of!”

It’s so cute I can’t stand it. “Thank you,” I say again, unable to think of anything else. “You didn’t need to do this.”

“I wanted to, though. You were so nice last night.” You press your lips together tightly. “If you have any questions about taking care of it, I put the card for the nursery on the side. I… I also wrote my number on the back, if texting is easier.”

My eyes widen. “Oh! Okay, sure!”

“You’re probably busy. I’ll let you get back to work.” You turn at the door to wave. “Have a good evening!”

I quickly take the card and see your number written along the back. I place it into my pocket for safekeeping, then leave the aloe in the breakroom with my things. I want the night to be over with, not just because I have the day off tomorrow, but so I can send you a message. During a break, I put your number into my phone and send a quick message. “Hey, this is Leary, the waiter. Thanks for the aloe again. Should I put it in sunlight when I get home?”

“That’d be best, but aloe is pretty easy to take care of.” Your reply is swift.

“Okay, good to know.” I answer just as fast. “Is that creep still messaging you?”

“I blocked him, so I don’t know.”

“If he tries to cause any problems, tell me and I’ll help you out.”

“I don’t think he will, but thank you.”

Over the next few days, we text back and forth pretty regularly. You work at a nursery, so you often send me pictures of plants you’re working with during the day. I send you updates about the aloe, and I tell you about my dream of being a chef. You tell me your dream of eventually expanding the nursery and starting a honeybee sanctuary.

This goes on and on until one night, I work up the courage to ask you out. “I’m off next Thursday. I was wondering if you’d like to do something. Maybe go see a movie? Hang out? I’d really like to see you.”

“That would be great! I’m off, too. The nursery is closed on Thursdays, so I’m free all day. I’d like to see you too, Leary.”

I leap up excitedly. “Okay! Where would you like to meet up?”

“I need to do some grocery shopping. Maybe we could meet up after that at Monday Cafe.”

“I need to get a few things, too. Why not just meet at the grocery store?”

Usually you reply so fast, but this time I see the ellipses bob along for a while. Your reply eventually pops up. “Okay. Let’s say at nine? They have that little coffee stand inside, so we can meet there.”

“Okay, perfect! Can’t wait.” I really can’t, and my tail is wagging up a storm.

I head out the next morning, having gotten up early to fret over how to do my hair and what to wear. I settle on a red flannel shirt and jeans, since it’s supposed to be a touch chilly. And unusually, I leave my hair down. I haven’t had it down in ages and had forgotten how long it is. I set out, hoping to get to the coffee stand early so I can buy your drink, but to my surprise I find you there already with two cups in hand.

“I just guessed what you’d like.” You offer me the warm cup.

“You didn’t have to do that!” I protest. “I was going to.”

Your smile is cute. “I still feel like I owe you from saving me from that horrible date. Not to mention I’ve really enjoyed talking to you, Leary.”

I love hearing you say my name. “I’ve enjoyed talking to you too. It’s been a nice change of pace for me.”

We get to shopping, and you ask me about my choice of recipes and ingredients. “I’m not the best cook,” you admit. “Most of the time I just throw rice and a veggie into the rice cooker.”

“I like comfort foods. Things that make you feel warm and cozy when you eat them.” I inspect some bell peppers before throwing them into a bag. “I’d be happy to show you sometime.”

“I’d like that.” You walk along beside me as I push the cart. “I’ve been trying to eat healthier lately.”

“That’s good!”

“But the other night really just…” You stop and frown, gazing off into the distance. “I felt like I’d been doing so well. I was eating better. I was walking more. I felt confident, and then…”

I scoff. “I know. That jerk opened his mouth.”

“I like salads,” you mutter. “But I was going out, and I wanted something more than that. It was a treat, I thought.”

“You don’t have to explain to me. That jerk had no right talking to you the way he did.” I smile at you. “I think you’re adorable, no matter what.”

Your cheeks redden and you look aside with a sweet smile. “You’re pretty cute yourself.”

My tail flicks behind me. “You’re going to make me turn purple!”

“I like your hair down, by the way,” you say softly. “It’s pretty.”

“I can let you play with it, if you want,” I tease.

You giggle and playfully shove me. “Maybe.” You stand closer to me as we shop, something that makes me feel warm and excited.

After we leave the store, I help you unload groceries at your house. I don’t have much, so I keep my things in your fridge until we go to see the movie. Or at least, that’s the plan. We end up lingering at your place, you show me all your plants, and we talk on your veranda for a long time. We sit close together, and as a chilly wind blows I put my arm around you to keep you warm. We go quiet, and there’s a nervousness I recognize from the restaurant. It’s an excited and eager one where both have everything to say, but no idea how to begin.

“You smell nice,” you say quietly.

“Thanks, I bathed.” I instantly hate myself. I look down to see you smiling shyly. I want to kiss you, but I don’t want to overstep my bounds. Our eyes meet, and we’re both suddenly shy and so awkward. I lean in, and you close your eyes. Your lips are so warm, so soft, and your hand presses against my chest before slowly moving up to touch my face.

“Wow,” you breathe as we pull apart. “Your hair is really, really soft.”

I chuckle and kiss your cheek. “I buy expensive conditioner.”

You giggle and reach for another kiss, which I happily deliver. “I think we missed the movie,” you pant.

“That’s okay. There will be more. I like it here much better anyways.”

You snuggle back against my chest. “Me too.”

From then on I try to schedule every Thursday off so I can spend it with you. It doesn’t always work, but we often find ourselves at each other’s places. You stay up late some evenings so we can spend a couple of hours together, and I wake up early on some days so we can have breakfast before you go to work. It’s nice, having these moments together, even if they are too brief. We even trade keys, which is an exciting development for me.

One morning, I wake up as you crawl into bed with me. You're chilled from the outside, but you feel so good snuggled up beside me. “Good morning,” you coo sweetly.

“Good morning indeed.” I wrap my arms around you and kiss the top of your head. “I should go put on some pants.” I offer.

“It’s okay. I like your cute panties,” you tease as you kiss my cheek.

I kiss you back. “I just want to remain a gentleman, and I feel I can’t do that when you do see my panties.”

You shyly hide your face against my neck and hair. “What if I showed you mine?”

How dare you say something so provocative in such a sweet, adorable way? You want to kill me, don’t you? I breathe to calm myself. “Th-that’s all up to you, babe. If you want to, go ahead. If you don’t, I’m happy anyway.”

You sit up, pulling off your leggings then slowly, shyly, removing your dress. Your body is soft and plump, and your underwear matches. You must have been planning this! My heart stops beating, and my blood all rushes to my face. The soft seafoam green you’re wearing is my favorite color. You know this, too. Your skin is so soft against mine as you lie down beside me, nervous but proud of yourself. I touch you, running my long fingers over your skin. I remember how to breathe, and I take a deep one to center myself.

“You’re so beautiful,” I murmur. “You look amazing.”

“Not really. The bra sort of pinches.” You keep your face hidden, but your leg hooks around mine. Your skin is silky, and you’ve shaved and buttered up with coconut lotion.

“Would you rather I pinch?” I ask teasingly.

You giggle and finally peer up at me. “I wanted to spend a nice morning with you. But I know you’re working this evening, so…” Your thoughts trail off before you clear your throat to bring yourself back to them. “I know you need to sleep.”

I lie you down on your back and move on top of you. I kiss you and touch you, running my hands down your body. “I want you more.”

You gulp and turn your head to the side, allowing me access to the skin of your neck and shoulder. I lick there, and you whimper softly. I gently bite at your earlobe and a soft breath escapes your lips. “Look at me.” My lips brush against your ear. “Let me see your face.”

You move slowly, but your eyes focus on me. You blink rapidly for a moment, then place your hands upon my body. “Your skin is so beautiful. You’re like a sapphire.”

My hair falls off my back and cascades down. Your fingers tangle in it for a moment, gently tugging to pull me down for a kiss. It becomes hot and heavy, and I lose my breath a few times when your tongue touches mine. I want to make you feel the way I did. I want to make you feel divine. I look into your eyes and smooth your hair from your face. “I have a rather naughty idea,” I chuckle. “But I need your permission.”

You swallow hard and nod. “What is it?”

I press my lips to your ear again. “I want to eat you until you come.”

Your hands squeeze tight around my arms. “You don’t have to do that!”

I kiss your cheek and neck. “I want to though.”

You shiver and move your arms around me. Your fingers tickle at the back of my neck as you consider my offer. “I’ve never had that done to me before.”

I kiss you softly. “If you don’t like it, I’ll stop.”

You nod, then watch me as I slip down and carefully remove your panties, letting them dangle off one of your ankles. I smooth my hands up your legs, kneading them before I gently spread your thighs. You shiver, then relax. I kiss your thighs, your belly before I touch you directly. I rub your vulva with my long fingers, feeling a bit of wetness seep out to greet me. I press my tongue between the folds and your breath shudders. I look up at you, seeing your embarrassed but pleasured face looking down at me. You reach down, stroking my hair away from my face so you can see me better. I spread you open further with my fingers, finding your clit eager to be touched. My tongue presses against it, and your body jerks suddenly.

“Sorry,” you mewl. “It felt really strong.”

I chuckle and kiss it. “I’ll be gentle, then.” I lap up your slit, moving my tongue inside you before circling around your clit again. You moan and sigh, showing that what I’ve been doing is well-received. I kiss your clit again, tapping it gently with my tongue before I fasten my lips around it. You yelp and throw your head back, cupping one hand around your mouth while the other tugs at one of my horns. You don’t struggle or try to get away, so I keep going, applying suction.

“Leary! Leary!” you cry out.

I add my fingers, slipping two inside you, and feel your inner walls tremble and pulse around me. Your hips shake and your voice becomes a deep moan. I continue, suckling and moving my fingers. I moan against you, feeling your passion dripping around my knuckles. Your thighs tighten around me, trapping me and shaking me before you push my head back in desperation. “Stop! Stop!” you cry, ears in your eyes. Your body trembles, curling into a fetal position. You hiccup and whimper as I withdraw, licking your fluids from my lips and chin.

“Are you okay?” I gently ask. I brush your hair aside and kiss your shoulder.

“I’m still…” You lose your breath. “That was…”

I lie against your back, holding you until you uncurl. I stroke my hand down your leg, snuggling and kissing you, then reach between your thighs and cup your sensitive mound in my palm. You moan softly, biting your lip as I knead. “I’ve never come like that,” you sigh.

“I’m glad you did.” I kiss your shoulder. “I wanted you to.”

You roll over and kiss me. “What about you?”

“I’m plenty pleased right now,” I purr. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Could I, though?” you ask with a soft pout.

I smirk at you, enjoying the puppy eyes you’re giving me. “Not right now. Just enjoy yourself.”

You snuggle up against me. “I owe you big time,” you giggle.

“This isn’t about owing me. I don’t want you to feel that way. I did that because I wanted to make you feel good. It made me just as happy as you.”

You kiss me. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

I’m positively beaming the rest of the day, and nothing can knock me off my high horse. I’m tired when I get home, but all I can think about is how amazingly cute you were in the morning. I can still remember how you tasted and felt. But as I walk into my bedroom to change, I am greeted by candles and soft music. You’re sitting on my bed waiting for me, and when our eyes lock you drop the robe around you.

“Welcome home, Leary.”

“Oh, wow,” I breathe. I drop my bag on the ground and just look at you. “Oh, wow!”

You giggle and stand, coming over to me. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day. I hope you don’t mind me here. I know you must be tired, but…”

I kiss you hungrily, and we fall onto the bed. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you either,” I say between kisses. My clothes become disheveled, and your hands find bare skin. My belt hits the ground with a thud, and my tail waves behind me, letting you know just how excited I really am.

Your lips and mouth are so warm, and your hands feel so soft against my shaft. My mind is buzzing, excited and elated. Once I’m hard, I can barely stand it. I put on the condom, though I rush and fumble with my excitement. I move between your thighs again, feeling how soft you are with the most sensitive part of me.

“I want you, Leary,” you mewl, your fingers in my hair.

“I want you, too.” I kiss you as I enter you, plunging deep inside as you cling to me. I don’t know how I’ll make it. I want to succumb to your charm and wiles now. But somehow I find the stamina to make the night last.

The morning feels light and cool. My legs and hips are sore, but your warm body cures that. I kiss your hair and get up to make coffee, standing in the kitchen naked with a big smile on my face. Then my roommate comes out of his room, we lock eyes, and my bliss is gone for.

“Morning, Leary,” he says and strolls by. “Your girlfriend seems nice.”

“Thanks, Yuri,” I quickly use a placemat to cover myself. “Good to see you!”

He smirks. “Good to see you, buddy.” He grabs the packed food from the fridge. “Hope to see you again.” He strides out the door, and I feel miserable. I quickly take the coffee back to the bedroom, feeling better once I have you again.

“Good morning,” you yawn.

“Sleep well?” I place the warm coffee in your hands.

“Amazingly so,” you sigh. You give me a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you. This is nice.”

I smile, watching you as you sip your coffee. “I love you.” The words slip out so naturally it’s almost scary.

You look at me, almost terrified, but then you grin and tears well up. “I love you, too.” Even if my roommate caught me naked, this is still the best day of my life.

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

I had this crazy random thought last night and before I went to bed and it was ‘What if Valerie was the half ghost and Danny was the ghost hunter?’ Like, maybe something from her dad’s job caused it and Danny was surrounded with negative opinions on ghost and decided to become a hunter as well?? I’m not sure when my 3AM mind was going with this

oh shit this is like reverse trio au with a twist I am SO ON BOARD

The Fentons work with Axiom Labs to create the ghost portal, Damon is still the head security guard, and maybe Val comes to bring her dad his dinner that he left at home, but since she's his daughter he doesn't supervise her as she's leaving, figuring she's not a threat or anything and she knows where the exit is

but she gets curious, she decides to just pop into the lab with the portal just to have a look

some kind of series of events will eventually lead to her ending up inside the portal, maybe she gets too close and trips on wires or something, knocking into the switch on the way down

the portal turning on shorts out the power in the whole building and fries the computers, and most other electrical devices including computers, hard drives, cameras and security footage

Damon rushes in to find the portal on and nobody in the room, he leaves to find a radio that works so he can call it in, missing Valerie falling from the portal, she freaks out, not really knowing what happened but knowing she will be in a WORLD of trouble if she gets busted, so she gets her ass out of there

she doesn't realise until she gets home that she looks different, by the time her dad gets home she's back to normal, she tells him that she had already left when shit went down

she tells Star and Paulina what happened though, they're her best friends of course she tells them, and of course when she starts developing powers, they know about that as well, Paulina thinks it's cool as fuck and wants Val to use them for a whole bunch of petty stuff, whereas Star, being the brains of the group, is genuinely concerned for Valerie's health and thinks she should probably see a doctor, but Val refuses to tell anyone what she did because she's terrified of losing her dad his job

meanwhile, Danny's parents have been kicked out of Axiom Labs, having been blamed for the portal incident, the assumption is that it happened due to their safety negligence, and now that the portal now works, Axiom has no need for the Fentons and takes the opportunity to kick them off the project

meaning they have to do all their work at home, which Danny is absolutely unhappy about

the fridge is full of contaminated food, he gets covered in goo every other day, his parents have been extra on edge since being fired and are much more trigger happy about grounding him for stuff, not to mention that he had a heap of freedom when they were constantly out of the house and now he can't get away with staying out after curfew and ordering pizza and junking out as much as he wanted

and now he can't even study or sleep at home in peace, his parents exploding things in the basement in the middle of the night, making noise and barging into his room at all hours of the day, insisting that he help with some project or another since they don't have lab staff on hand anymore

he's miserable, and worse, he knows it wasn't his parents fault

he'd been out late the night of the accident, there was a meteor shower and there was a large radio tower just past Axiom labs that gave him an excellent view, he climbed up there all the time for stargazing

it also gave him an excellent view of Axiom Labs, and the ghost that went running from the facility after the power surge

he knew his parents, as irresponsible as they could be, would never endanger their work on the portal, something else had to happen, something else sabotaged their work

and he was the only one who had seen who it was

and since his parents ghost shit has been forced into his life, he may as well use it to get some retribution, because as it turns out, his parents were right

ghosts are monsters, and this one needs to be put down before it ruins someone else's life

[argylesweedstash]

did you just call me baby

(ao3 link)

The first time it happens, it’s an accident. At least, Dean’s banking on Castiel thinking it’s an accident. And it is, really. Dean fell onto the war room floor covered in black goo with his arms around Cas. Sam and Jack leapt up from the table, moving away from the intricate spellwork that no longer needed their attention.

Cas stirred a little. He’d been out of it when Dean had found him - half-lucid and mostly disbelieving. He’d let Dean pull him up and sling his arm around his shoulders, but hadn’t said much. Only mumbled apologies and words that sounded a lot like, “I hope this is real.”

Jack was first on the floor next to them. “Cas?” he asked, a tentative smile playing on his lips. Cas nodded and within seconds, his arms were full of his son.

Dean watched them, a smile playing on his lips. When they broke apart, Sam offered Castiel his arm. Cas had looked at it before taking it and being pulled into a hug by the taller man.

Dean removed himself from the floor and helped Jack up. When Sam released Cas, Dean stepped in front of him.

“It’s real,” Dean said, looking into Cas’s eyes.

Cas nodded. “Thank you for saving me, Dean.”

Dean finally closed the distance between them and pulled Cas into a bone crushing hug.

“I missed you, baby,” Dean muttered against Cas. When he realized that he’d said baby instead of buddy, he could feel heat rising to his cheeks. He removed himself from Cas and grinned sheepishly at the floor. There was a weird fluttering feeling in his chest. He wrote it off as the adrenaline that was still pumping through his veins.

Cas, for what it was worth, didn’t seem to notice the word. “I missed you, too, Dean.”

-

That was two weeks ago. Since then, Dean has been avoiding talking about it. Not just his slip, though, the things Cas had said to him before The Empty came and took him. It wasn’t that Dean didn’t feel the same way - he just didn’t know if he did or not. He likes Cas and he’s his best friend. He knows he likes spending time with him. Sometimes he’s overwhelmed by how fond of his friend he is, but he doesn’t read too far into that.

Plus, things hadn’t changed between them. They still watched movies together in the Dean Cave a couple nights a week. Castiel would always come and join Dean in the garage when he was working on any of the cars they kept. Dean would greet him with a, “Good morning, Sunshine,” every morning from his place at the table. The only thing that had changed was that they didn’t have the end of the world looming over their heads. Honestly, this is the happiest he’s been in a long time. Getting Cas back meant that they’d tied up their loose ends and now they could relax. Of course Dean had never felt this happy, they’d never so resolutely saved the world like they did this time around.

Dean is sitting at the table, now, staring at the laptop screen in front of him. There were still monsters, there might still be a case somewhere. In the back of his head Dean knows he doesn’t really want to find a case. He’s been enjoying his time with Cas and Sam. He likes that the most pressing thing he has to worry about is whether or not the fridge is stocked. He knows Sam has been getting stir crazy, though. Maybe he’ll find a case and send Sam off, encourage him to get Eileen in on it.

The sound of footsteps draws Dean’s attention away from the laptop. Castiel pads into the room. He’s wearing one of Dean’s hand-me-down shirts, even though he hasvclothing of his own. Part of pulling Cas out of The Empty meant leaving his grace behind. Jack had been pretty clear - Cas’s grace was the reason Jack was unable to just pull him out. So, here Cas is, as human as Dean, wearing Dean’s shirt. A smile threatens to break on Dean’s face.

“What’re you up to?” Dean asks.

Cas turns to face him. Dean notices toothpaste stuck to the corner of Cas’s mouth, he must have just finished brushing his teeth.

“It’s almost lunch time,” Cas says. “I was going to make myself something. Are you hungry? I can make enough for two.”

Dean shakes his head. “Just ate,” he says. “You, uh -” He gestures vaguely at Cas’s mouth.

“I what?” Cas asks, tilting his head a little.

“Baby,” Dean starts as he gets up from his chair to walk over to Castiel. “You have some toothpaste. Right there.”

Cas stares at Dean, wide eyed. Dean resists the urge to roll his eyes and grabs a napkin from the table. He wipes at Castiel’s mouth before he crumples the napkin and walks it over to the trash. Cas watches his movements.

“What?” Dean asks when he notices Cas staring at him. It’s not that he minds, Cas just looks a little lost.

Cas just shakes his head and puts a smile on his face. “Nothing. Thank you, Dean. I didn’t realize.”

“It’s part of being human, man. No worries,” Dean says, depositing himself back in his chair. “You gonna eat in here?”

“Yes, of course,” Cas says, finally moving from where he was stopped.

Dean nods in his direction before he pats the chair next to him, smiling up at his friend. He returns to his research as Cas busies himself in the kitchen.

-

Two days later, Sam is gone to go after a nest of vamps and Eileen’s place just happens to be on the way there. Dean isn’t quite sure why Sam hasn’t just asked her to move in. He’s pretty sure Sam had refrained before because Dean had been a wreck with Cas gone. It was probably better for Dean and Eileen’s relationship that she hadn’t seen him like that. But now, there was no reason for her not to be here. She was family, after all.

Dean knocks on Cas’s door, ending his stream of thoughts. Dean was kind of bored and he hadn’t taken Cas anywhere but the supermarket since they’d brought him back. And, come to think of it, Dean couldn’t remember the last time just he and Cas had gone out for drinks.

Cas answers the door already dressed. “Dean. I was actually coming to look for you.”

“Well, I found ya first,” Dean says, putting an easy smile on his face. “Was gonna see if you wanted to come grab a drink with me. Looks like you’re going somewhere, though.” He didn’t want to press, but where on earth could Cas be going? It wasn’t like he really knew anyone around here outside of Sam and Dean. And if someone they knew was in town, why hadn’t Dean heard of it?

The ends of Cas’s lips turn up slightly. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

Dean lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and beams at Castiel. “It’s a date, then. Give me five minutes and I’ll meet you at Baby.”

Cas nods at Dean’s retreating figure and mumbles, “It’s a date,” before shutting his door to walk to the car.

Dean meets him there a few minutes later. “Had to grab my keys,” he says, holding them up for Cas to see.

The drive to the bar passes in comfortable silence, Cas staring out the window at the passing buildings. Dean drums his fingers on his steering wheel. He glances to Cas a few times; he almost can’t believe Cas is really back. He’d been gone for two months. Dean had spent most of that time frantically reading through every lore book and the rest drinking until he couldn’t remember the pain. It had been Jack that finally suggested opening the rift and leaving Cas’s grace behind. Dean had been ready to go almost immediately.

Now that Castiel was back, Dean felt better than he had in years. A warm feeling had settled over him after they fell through the rift and it stayed around. Whenever he was with Cas he could only describe the we he felt as “content.” Like now, for example, he could drive all night like this and be pleased with the way he spent his evening.

They pull in and Dean holds the door to the bar open so Cas can walk through. “Grab us a table and I’ll get drinks,” he says, clapping his hand over his shoulder and walking past him to the bar.

He gets the bartender’s attention pretty quickly. “Hey, Lynn. Slow night?” he asks.

She rolls her eyes at him and pushes a stray strand of blonde hair out of her face. “It’s a Wednesday, what do you expect?” She gives a little chuckle and leans against the bar. “Where’s your brother?”

“Sammy’s with his girlfriend. Won’t be back for a few days,” Dean says easily. “Left me alone with Cas over there.”

Lynn looks past him at Castiel, who is seated at a booth in the corner. He’s looking around the mostly empty bar, seemingly taking in the neon signs advertising different kinds of alcohol. He’s wearing one of Dean’s flannels, Dean realizes belatedly.

“He’s cute,” Lynn says. She turns her attention back to the man in front of her. “What can I get for you two?”

“Two beers,” he says. And then, as an afterthought, “And two shots of your top shelf whiskey.”

She grins. “Celebrating something?”

“Come to think of it, yeah,” Dean says. “He, uh.” He looks for the words. “Just got back from a work trip. Gone for a couple of months.” That sounds like a good cover.

“I bet he’s happy to be home,” Lynn says, setting the beers in front of Dean before turning to grab a bottle from the shelf behind her. “You seem happy that he’s back.”

It’s Dean’s turn to grin. “I’m freaking thrilled. Dude’s my best friend.”

Lynn slides the now filled shot glasses toward Dean. “Want a tray to carry all that?”

Dean doesn’t get to answer before she’s sliding a tray toward him. “You need a tray,” she says, putting the drinks onto it. “I know you were going to try to carry all this over there without one.”

Dean thanks her and slides the tray onto his left arm, steadying it with his right hand. He turns toward the booth Cas is in and flashes him a smile while he lifts the tray slightly, indicating the beverages.

“That my shirt?” he says when he gets to the table. He sets a beer and a shot down in front of Cas.

Cas looks down at the flannel and then back at Dean in a way Dean can only describe as bashful. “Yes. It must have gotten mixed in with my laundry. I can return it, if you want.”

“Keep it. Looks better on you anyway.” Dean picks his shot up and motions for Cas to do the same. “We’re celebrating, Cas.”

Cas picks up his shot and looks at Dean curiously. “What are we celebrating?”

“You’re back!”

Cas smiles warmly. “I am,” he nods. “Thanks to you.”

“Well, Sam and Jack helped,” Dean says, grinning.

“To humanity,” Cas says, raising the shot.

“To humanity,” Dean echos before taking the shot.

Cas makes a face after he downs his and raises his beer to his lips to chase the taste away.

“You’ve not had a drink since you got back,” Dean remarks, watching Cas take a few long drinks from the bottle.

“You haven’t either,” he replies.

Dean contemplates the statement. “Really?” He takes a sip of his beer. “I guess I’ve just been busy.”

They both know that isn’t really true. Dean’s only been engaging in leisurely activities, he’s just not been drinking during them. He wonders for a moment why that might be. It’s probably because he doesn’t have any pain he needs to ignore, he thinks.

“Your tolerance is going to be shit.”

Cas shrugs. “I’m a cheap date.”

Dean looks at him for a moment before laughing. Cas gives him a genuine smile before returning to his beer.

Several beers later, Dean cuts himself off. Someone has to drive home and Cas is more than a little giggly on the bench across from him. He takes a sip of his third beer and gives Dean a measured look.

“What?” Dean asks, putting a soft smile on his face. “See something you like?”

“Yes,” Cas says.

Dean grins back at him. There’s a tug somewhere in his chest, but he ignores it. “Anything on your mind?”

Cas just looks at Dean, clearly deep in thought. “Not really, no.”

Dean laughs and shakes his head. “Want another?”

Cas’s beer is still half full. “Another what?”

“Another drink. Or another shot.”

“Another shot might be nice, actually.”

Dean smiles at him. “That’s my boy. I’ll be right back.”

He returns to the bar and waits for Lynn to walk over to him.

“Two more?” she asks.

“Just another shot,” Dean says. “I’m driving but huggy bear over there can have whatever he wants.”

Lynn shakes her head and pours another. “You two been together long? I haven’t seen him in here.”

Dean blinks back at her and then looks down at the shot. “Actually we, uh, we haven’t talked about… that. Being together.”

She frowns at Dean and he takes a breath. He hadn’t been avoiding it, really. He and Cas had just fallen back into their comfortable rhythm.

“He doesn’t know how you feel, does he?” Lynn asks. She looks a little sad now.

“I guess he doesn’t,” Dean says thoughtfully.

“You should tell him.”

Dean looks up at her.

“Not tonight, though. He should probably be sober.”

Dean nods and grabs the shot. “Thanks, Lynn.”

He sets the shot down across from Cas when he gets back to the table. “For you.”

Cas downs the shot as Dean settles back down across from him. “What were you two talking about?”

Dean stares at Cas. He knows he shouldn’t lie but if he says anything Cas may actually want to talk about his feelings and Dean isn’t ready for that. He doesn’t really have words and he’s not even sure he’s fully processed Cas’s confession yet. And, Lynn was probably right. Cas should be sober for that particular conversation.

“Sam,” Dean lies easily. “This is where we come for drinks. Neither of us have been by in a while.”

Cas accepts the lie and sips from his beer before starting a conversation about Jack and the prospect of weekly family dinners.

By the time Cas had finished his beer the shot he’d taken seems to hit him. “Dean.”

“Cas.”

“I’d like another shot.”

Dean raises his eyebrows. “You can get it.”

Cas frowns at Dean before swinging his legs to the end of the booth to pull himself out. He pushes himself up on the table and wobbles a little before Dean is up and at his side, steadying him.

“When you don’t stand it hits you all at once,” Dean explains. He’s gripping Cas’s bicep and shoulder.

“I know how drinking works, Dean. I spend all my time with you.”

Dean chuckled low in his throat. “How about we get you home?”

“Can I drink there?”

Dean turns Cas to face him fully. “Hell yeah, you can.”

“You’ll be drinking, too?”

“Well, yeah. I won’t have to drive us anywhere. Can’t let you have all the fun.”

Dean walks Cas to the Impala and deposits him in the passenger’s seat. “I’ll be right back, baby. I have to pay the tab.”

Cas stares at Dean for a moment before opening and promptly closing his mouth.

“I’ll leave the door open in case you hurl. And I’ll get a bag from Lynn.”

Dean returns to see Cas has closed the door and is currently slumped against it, sleeping. He rolls his eyes and drives him home, careful to avoid the bumps on the road. When they get home, he shakes Cas awake.

“‘Morning, Sunshine.”

“It’s not morning, Dean,” Cas replies groggily.

“Nope,” Dean says, leaning over to pull Cas out of the car. “Let’s get you to your room.”

They make their way through the bunker slowly. Dean sits Cas down and gets him out of his shoes and, after a brief moment of hesitation, his jeans. Once he’s gotten Cas under the blankets, he gets a glass of water from the kitchen and a few tylenol from the bottle he has stashed in his room.

“Alright,” he says, setting everything down on Cas’s night stand. “Take the tylenol when you wake up. You’re probably going to be hungover. And drink some water, okay?”

“Yes, Dean,” says the Cas sized lump under the covers.

“Let me know if you need anything else, okay? I’m right down the hall.”

Dean turns to leave but Cas makes a noise. Dean turns back around.

“Thank you for taking me out tonight, Dean. I had fun.”

Dean smiles. “I had fun, too. Get some sleep, baby.”

He flicks out Cas’s lights and reminds himself to stop calling Cas buddy. The dude loves him and Dean’s probably making it hurt or something. Plus, he’d accidentally called him baby when he’d first gotten back from The Empty. Dean’s probably sending him mixed signals. He shuts the door behind him and walks to his room; he knows he should probably figure out what to say to Cas. Unfortunately, he was pretty sure that meant poking at that warm, fluttery feeling that seemed to be permanently in his chest.

-

Sam returns from the hunt a week later. He assures Dean it was an easy hunt and that he and Eileen hadn’t needed any help. He also admits to spending a few days with Eileen after they’d taken out the nest.

“How is she, anyway?” Dean asks, handing a beer to Sam and setting one on the end table next to Cas. They’d been watching old western’s in the Dean Cave when Sam got home. Cas had wanted to spend the day watching movies and Dean had agreed on the condition that he got to pick the movie.

“She’s good. She misses you two,” Sam answers.

“Tell her to get her ass out here,” Dean says. “She’s family at this point, man. She should be here, anyway. It would make hunts easier.”

Sam shook his head, smiling. “That’s the first hunt I’ve been on since we beat Chuck. You still haven’t been out.”

“Hey, I’m keeping Cas company. He’s still newly human,” Dean argues.

“You could go hunt if you want, Dean. I’m capable of taking care of myself. I don’t mind,” Cas says from the couch. Dean looks over at him and shakes his head.

“Nah, you’ve been back less than a month. We gotta make sure you have your sea legs before I go anywhere, baby.”

The words left his mouth effortlessly. Sam and Cas just stared at him for a second before Sam coughed.

“It’s great seeing you guys but I’m going to go shower and pass out for a few hours,” he says before making a quick exit toward his room.

“Fine, Sammy. We didn’t want to hang out with you, anyway,” Dean shoots back before collapsing onto his side of the couch.

He hits play on the movie and settles in. He has his own bottle of beer pressed to his lips when Cas speaks.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas?” he replies, lowering the bottle from his lips.

Cas is quiet for a moment. “Why do you keep calling me ‘baby’?” he asks carefully.

Dean stares back at him. “I only called you that once,” he says, on guard now. Had it slipped out again? He didn’t think it had but now he’s not so confident. He sets his beer bottle down.

“No, you’ve done it five times.” So, it had slipped out again. More than once. “You did just now before Sam left.”

Dean is silent, unsure of what to say. He hadn’t even realized it had come out. “I’m sorry,” he finally decides, lowering his gaze from Cas’s stare for a brief moment.

“I don’t mind it,” Cas says quietly. He’s looking somewhere to the left of Dean, his eyes occasionally flickering to Dean’s face. “I thought you were doing it on purpose, is all.”

Dean can’t seem to form a fully coherent thought. He knows he needs to say something - mention Cas’s confession, maybe. But he doesn’t have the words for that yet. Instead he says, “Do you want me to stop?”

“I want you to do it on purpose,” Cas says, looking down. Dean can see the beginnings of pink on the top of his ears. He’s overwhelmed with an ache somewhere in his chest.

Dean doesn’t know why, but he slides in close to Cas. He reaches his hand out and lifts his chin so their eyes meet. “Anything you want, baby,” he says, softly. The fluttering in his chest is more insistent now.

He hears Cas’s breath hitch. Cas closes and opens his eyes before saying. “Can I ask something?”

“Of course,” Dean says, his hand still resting on Cas’s chin.

“Will you kiss me?”

Before Dean registers what he’s doing, he nods and ducks his head in. The kiss is chaste and quick but Cas leans in and responds gently. When they break, there’s a soft smile on Cas’s face.

“Cas,” Dean says, moving his hand to Cas’s cheek. “I, uh. I need to talk to you about. About what you said. Before you… Ya know.”

“When I told you I loved you?” Cas supplies, his eyes half-lidded.

“Yeah,” Dean says, chuckling lightly. “I. I think I do, too. I just haven’t -”

“You don’t have to say anything, Dean. You know that.”

Dean brings his mouth gently back to Cas’s and kisses him again. This time just a little longer, his other hand finding Cas’s waist.

“It was just so easy when you got back,” Dean says when he pulls away. He tries to find any string of words that expresses how he feels. “I didn’t think I needed to say anything but…”

Cas stares at Dean, encouraging him to keep going. Dean can feel his face heating up.

“Lynn asked how long we’d been together,” he says, lamely. “The bartender,” he adds.

“I didn’t get to meet her but I remember her name.”

Dean smiles at him and takes a breath before speaking. “And I told her we hadn’t talked about it. And she looked really sad. I realized I do need to say something.”

They’re silent for a moment and then Dean says. “Holy shit. That was a date.”

Cas looks confused. “You told me it was a date.”

“I did?”

“Yes. When I said yes to going with you, you said ‘it’s a date.’” Cas says.

Dean shakes his head. “It’s… It’s an expression, Cas,” he says. Then, “But, uh, that was a date. I think.”

“Dean. Did you want it to be a date?” Cas asks. His voice is lined with both patience and amusement.

Dean pauses for a minute before saying, “Yeah. That was our first date.” He leans in and presses another kiss to Cas’s mouth.

Cas kisses back and then pulls away a little. “Would you like to go on a second date?”

Dean makes a show of thinking. He hums lightly.

“Dean.”

“Yeah, Cas. I do,” he places a kiss on the side of Cas’s mouth before he drops his hand. “I, uh, I don’t really know what to say but… You can have me, if you want. You’re just going to have to work with me. I don’t really know what I’m doing here.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Cas says.

Dean places a kiss on Cas’s cheek before he turns back to the TV and starts the movie. Cas reaches across to grab his hand, intertwining their fingers in the space between them.

“Hey, baby?”

Cas’s head pops up in response to the pet name, there’s a faint smile on his lips. “Yes, Dean?”

“I love you.”

Cas beams at him before replying, “I love you, too.”

Dean turns his head back toward the TV but spends a better part of the rest of the movie sneaking glances at Cas. He indulges the warm feeling in his chest, even if he doesn’t quite have the words for everything yet.

[teddy06writes]

Some unspoken thing

Karl Jacobs x Reader 

requested: no

Trigger warnings: mentions of covid, mild descriptions of a panic attack

premise: You and Karl have been friends, for years now, and now even your friends are starting to see that unspoken thing between you

“---” talking

‘---’ talking through a call

(y/s/n) -  your screen name

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’d known Karl since you were at least 10, and you both agreed that you’d been together forever, through thick and thin it was always you and Karl against the world. You and your unspoken thing.

When he’d first spoken of moving away from Portland you weren’t too sure, mostly because of college, but still, you found yourself here, sprawled across a couch, exhausted from hauling boxes up to your apartment. 

“Why did we bring so much stuff?” You groaned as Karl picked up your legs long enough to sit down, then letting them drop into his lap. 

He sighed, “Don’t quote me on this, but it was you who couldn’t pack your stuff into less than 20 boxes.” 

“Yah okay Mr. ‘I can’t be bothered to even clean this laundry before I pack it up to leave’.” You scoffed.  

“That's not true! I washed most of it...” Karl trailed off pulling out his phone, “Pizza?” 

“Obviously.” 

Soon the pizza arrived and as Karl went to the door to grab it, you went and grabbed two monsters from the fridge, sitting back down in front of the couch as Karl came back with the pizza. 

“Ey I gotta pizza here!” He exclaimed, setting it down. 

“Eyyyyyyy!” You handed him one of the monsters, opening your own as he sat down, already starting to pull up an old episode of survivor. 

Once the pizza had been finished, and the left overs put away you ended up half cuddled together on the couch, your fingers softly carding through his hair. 

^^

“Hey! I’m back!” You called, looking around the seemingly empty apartment, confused, “Karl?” 

It had been a few months since, you’d moved out to North Carolina, and so far online school hadn’t been too bad even when corona hit, not with Karl and streaming to distract you from the reality of the world around you.

You went back to looking around for your friend, calling, “Hey, Karl where’d you go?” 

Sighing you followed the soft, muffled sobs to Karl’s room, knocking on the door softly, “Honey, are you in there?” 

There was silence, then a muffled, “un uh.” 

You pushed open the door gently, blinking into the mild darkness and turning to see Karl sitting on his bed, half curled into the wall and wrapped in a sweater he’d stolen from your closest a few weeks ago. 

Immediately  you crossed the room, climbing onto the bed next to him and pulling him into your arms, “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” 

His arms drifted around your waist, burying his into your chest, “They all hate me.” He murmured. 

“Who do you think hates you?” You cooed. 

“Dream and Sapnap and everyone.”

“They don’t hate you, no one on the smp hates you.” You pressed a kiss to the top of his head, “What happened?” 

“I said somethin stupid, (y/n), I messed everything up.” 

You knew not to push any further, instead just doing your best to hold him closer, whispering, “They don’t hate you, they’d never hate you okay? It’ll all blow over and everything will be okay. I promise.” 

“What if it doesn’t (y/n)? What if I messed it up forever?” 

“You didn’t baby, you didn’t. It’s gonna be alright, I promise.” 

^^

“Ahhhhhh leave me alone!” You half shrieked, running away from Sapnap and Quackity on the dream SMP. 

‘Imposter! Imposter!’ They chanted. 

“I’m just supposed to be babysitting the chat!” You yelled, “I didn’t sign up to bully on a twitch stream! If I wanted that I would’ve been on my own stream!”

Sapnap laughed, ‘Oof! That's sad.’ 

“I know,” You said dramatically, “No one has any respect for (y/s/n), not you, not my chat, not even Karl!” 

‘We all know thats not true.’ Quackity scoffed. 

You half turned, giggling as Karl, came back into the room, “Debatable.” 

“What’s uh, whats going on?” He asked. 

“I’m being bullied, that's what's going on,” The chat started to fill with hearts and ‘(y/s/n) support.’, “Also I’ve decided since your chat likes me more than mine, so this is my stream now, I’m taking over.” 

Karl just half sighed, grabbing the chair from your desk on the other side of the office, and wheeling it over, sitting down next to you, propping his legs in your lap. 

‘(y/n) the world wants to know, how does it feel to now fill the void where Karl Jacobs once sat?’ Quackity asked, through a voice filter. 

“Well, since my dear friend Karl died,” 

“I’m not dead!” He interjected.

You sniffed, “Sometimes I can still hear his voice.”

“Dear friend?” Sapnap scoffed, “Al- Quackity look at the stream and tell me if they look like ‘dear friends’.” 

You face started to grow red, as both Nick and Alex began to catcall at you two, Karl, clearly getting confused as you ducked your head, face entirely red. 

“Whats the matter (y/n)? You got a crush?” Nick teased. 

Half covering your mouth you muttered, “Just some unspoken thing.” 

^^

“If I were to tell you that I kinda sorta didn’t listen to you, and forgot to buy more cereal, what would you say?” Karl asked, shrugging off his backpack as he came into the apartment. 

When he got no real response, he started to look around, finding you a minute later, laying on his bed, “Did’ja hear me?” 

“ehhhh... I don’t really care.” 

His brow furrowed upon hearing your monotonous, “You okay? What’s up?” 

You were still staring up at the ceiling “Grey, ‘s all grey.”

Sighing he came and sat down on the bed next to you, taking one of your hands in his, “Grey?” 

“Sad brain makes everything grey.” 

Karl fiddled with your fingers a moment, before raising them to his lips and softly pressing a kiss to your knuckles, “I’ll go make you tea.” 

He headed out of the room, leaving you to sit up and stare at the ceiling wondering what you’d done to deserve someone like him. 

He headed out of the room, leaving you to sit up and stare at the ceiling wondering what you’d done to deserve someone like him. 

A few minuets later he came back with a mug, handing it to you before he sat down behind you, wrapping his arms around you, “Is there a reason for sad brain today?” 

“Everything's just- blah. I’m just tired.” 

He didn’t need to ask to understand you didn’t mean physically, so instead he just pulled you gently to lean against his chest, pressing a gentle kiss to the edge of your jaw, “Okay?”

You knew Karl had a hard time with words sometimes, and you had long since learned how to listen for the meanings between simple phrases, and especially the weight of certain words, “Okay.” 

^^

‘So what is with you and Karl?’ Niki asked. 

You sighed, “I do not even know where to begin to answer that question.”

You were sitting in a discord call with her, originally trying to plan a joint stream but the conversation had switched.

‘I mean, if you don’t mind me saying so, it seems like your dating.’ 

“Well...” You considered it for a moment, you knew that your feelings for Karl were more than platonic, and had been for a long time, to you, it almost seemed like a fact of the world, the sky is blue, the earth is round, you loved Karl. 

“We've never talked about it, but- I suppose we- uhhh, you know what we’ll just say a little bit.” You quickly changed what you were going to say to be more ambiguous as Karl entered the room yelling, “Hi Niki!” 

‘I know you can’t hear me but hi Karl!’ She yelled back. 

You laughed, turning in your chair, “Niki says hi!” 

Karl grinned, leaning on the back of your chair, “Oh, yeah, dinners ready.”  and Niki raised her eyebrows, smirking at you.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You laughed, feeling Karl’s chin coming to rest on the top of your head. 

‘I’m not looking at anything.’ she insisted, ‘you would be a cute couple.’

Your face started to turn red, “Shut up!” 

‘It was a compliment!’ Niki laughed. 

“I know!” 

Karl’s face grew confused, “What?”

“It’s nothing. Niki I’ve gotta go, we’ll see about the stream tomorrow, okay?” 

‘yeah, bye!’ 

“Bye!” 

You disconnected from the call, “Dinner?” 

“Yeah! I managed not to burn the chicken!” 

You couldn’t help but grin, “Awesome!” 

^^

“I swear- either there both oblivious or there just really good at keeping it just hidden enough!” Dream exclaimed. 

“I mean if we don’t find out for another two weeks, I get a hundred dollars, so by all means let it drag out.” Quackity laughed. 

Sapnap groaned, “Actually its more like three hundred now, Hbomb, Skeppy and Wilbur all put in more money.” 

“Well I asked the other day,” Niki began, “and they only said, ‘a little bit’, What does that even mean?” 

“Maybe they are dating and that's (y/n)s way of dismissing it.” Tubbo said. 

You were listening to the discord call, trying not to laugh, as Tommy suggested, “Well it’s possible they are dating but like, haven’t realized it?” 

Everyone began to laugh, “Wait- wait hear me out! Hear me out! Like- you know when on like romcoms and shit where two bestfriends end up like there dating even when they technically aren’t and then they accidently kiss!” 

George scoffed, “That's not a thing.” 

“Well still!” Tommy tried to argue. 

“Not even in movies though.” Niki said. 

“Your right,” You laughed, unmuting, “We haven’t kissed yet, so it must not be a thing.” 

The vc went deadly silent as Tommy began to laugh hysterically, “Were you here the whole time?” 

“Maybe.” You laughed. 

“Wait- so are you and Karl together or not?” Dream questioned. 

“Uhhh, let you know when I find out? Do I get the money if I figure it out?” 

“Oh my god (y/n).” Tubbo was trying not to laugh himself as Tommy continued to lose his shit. 

“Yeah,” You looked over to where Karl was half asleep, leaning against you, “I’ve said it before, and I guess I’ll say it again, it’s just some unspoken thing.” 

^^

Music filled the apartment when you entered, some old song by Sinatra, and Karl was dancing around the living room as you pulled off your coat and mask. 

“Are you listening to Sinatra?” You questioned, setting the rest of your things down. 

“Come dance with me!” He giggled. 

You rolled your eyes, still smiling as you grabbed his hand, letting the other come to rest on his shoulder, “God, it’s been so long since I’ve dance.” 

“Come on, you remember don’t you?” 

You chuckled, “Back, side, forward, back. Technically this isn’t a waltzing song though.” 

“You can waltz to anything if you try hard enough,” Karl insisted, “Ready, and- one two three, one two three...” 

You fell into step, quietly humming along to the song as you moved in a slow arc around the room.

“..And- spin out...” Karl murmured, gently spinning you out to the side, and you paused for a a moment before he tugged on you arm, causing you to spin back in, finding yourself, face to face with him. 

You laughed nervously, suddenly blushing at the feeling of his arms around you. 

“What are we?” Karl asked softly, “Like, what is- this?” 

“Some unspoken thing.” Your voice was just as low, suddenly the weight of the hand resting on your lower back seeming to double.

He looked at your lips, then back at your eyes, and you nodded softly, leaning in and pressing your lips together. 

Your arms drifted around his waist as he pulled you closer, before you separated, smiling. 

“Does that mean it’s spoken now?” Karl asked. 

You grinned, “Course.” 

Later, after spending the rest of the night like any other you were cuddled up together on the couch, watching the newest episode of survivor, and you pretended not to notice as he gushed to someone through text. 

Your phone began to buzz with  venmo notifications, and Karl looked at you confused, “(y/n), why is everyone paying you?” 

You chuckled, “Reaping the benefits of our friends conspiring in a discord call that was left open.” 

After the kiss you had sent one text to a group chat; ‘I figured it out: pay up bitches.’

[inkmemes]

this  country  (  2017  -  2020  )  sentence  starters ↪  taken  from  the  bbc  mockumentary.  trigger  warning  for  mentions  of  religion,  death,  sex.  alter  as  you  see  fit  ♡

“i like the underdog.”

“don't be a fucking dick.”

“everyone comes together on days like today and just forgets their utter hatred of each other.”

“everyone who's anyone's going to be there and there are people from my past that would love to see me slain.”

“there's a tea rooms there and under the counter they've got a panic button and if i take one step inside, they can press that. the police will be there in three minutes.”

"he whatsapped me the other day asking us to go laser quest with him and i ... well, i clicked on it by accident, didn't i? so he knows i've seen it."

"i mean, i get it, but it's not making me feel nothing."

“it's baffling. i'm baffled by the entire situation, if i'm honest.”

“what the actual fuck? what the actual fuck? you have fucking lost your head, mate. you have lost your fucking head.”

“when i get hold of you, i swear to god i will fucking deck you.”

"someone's just been throwing plums at my house. i'm going to kill them. i can't believe it. i can't believe it. all over this. plumming on here, plumming on that. plum on the sofa, look! there's nothing left that hasn't been plummed."

“i've had a target on my back since the day i was born.”

“thank you very much, enjoy your free potatoes.”

“do you know how small your brain is?”

“hogwarts is that way, dumbledore.”

“he used to say i looked like the puppet off the dolmio advert.”

“there's a kid crying over there. do you want me to...? i can tell him to shut the fuck up if you want?”

“he genuinely looked like a moomin.”

“on my first day of karate club, karate master goes to me, [name], i don't know why you're here because i can't teach you anything. if anything, you should be teaching me." and just gave me his black belt.”

“you know that little old blind man? yeah, when i was punching him in his face, the lens from his glasses broke and cut my knuckle.”

“some things are just best left in the past, where they belong.”

“what's the point in knocking if you're just going to walk in anyway?”

“it was a miscarriage of justice though, cos what people forget is 12 out of them 20 hostages actually found it funny.”

“i lied so much i still don't know what's real life and what's plain lies.”

“i'm so glad you're out of that lying phase.”

“he likes to be the only person on the road, so whenever he sees a car coming the other way he just pulls over.”

“nasa went through hundreds of them in the '60s. and now every time i see a really bright star in the sky i can't wish on it, cos in my head i'm thinking, ‘that's probably just a spacecraft with some monkey bones in it.’”

“you absolute traitor. that's my cheese - it's my fucking house!”

“don't you dare eat that cheese. you eat that and i will smash this. i promise you, i will smash you with this.”

“fuck! you switched them!”

“yeah, i can see it's fucking burnt, sherlock.”

“i honestly am ashamed to know him, sometimes.”

“if you knock on someone's door, don't take no for an answer. get into their house. if they say, ‘leave my house’, stay. and if they say, ‘i'm going to call the police’, you walk upstairs and see if there's anybody else upstairs to sell to.”

“she looks like uncle fester.”

“right. i'm going to piss in their flowers, then.”

“you really need to go home. your mum's called the police and everything.”

“you're also fired from being my best mate, by the way.”

“in business, there will always be setbacks. i don't drink my own juice, fray bentos doesn't eat his own pies. but that's business.”

“do you know what, i don't actually want to play this any more, because it is actually very, very boring.”

“i'm ashamed of myself, that's not usually me, so don't get the wrong impression.”

“i genuinely think one of them fancies me as well.”

“it's fate her moving across the street.”

“the problem with finding a girlfriend in the village is that most of the girls you meet round here are old-age pensioners.”

“yeah, i am looking for a relationship, but thing is i've just got so many trust issues, yeah, with being fucked over massive in the past, so no matter how much i get close to someone now i'm thinking in the back of my head, ‘shit, am i going to get fucked over?’ because i've been fucked over in the past massively. my last relationship proper fucked me up.”

“i went through a really dark phase. listening to papa roach and just blowing everything up with them little french bangers.”

“shut up, you don't know what you're talking about!”

“i don't like the man. i know he's my uncle, but i don't like him.”

“it's just malicious lies, that's all it is.”

“i'm not saying i've got a cruel heart, but if she ain't willing to take me as i am rather than the monster i've become, then she can literally just jog on back to sea with all the other fish cos i don't care.”

“what do you look for in a boyfriend?”

“the key to dating, yeah, is the two rs and the three ts. 'respect, rapport, and talking, talking, talking.' don't ever let that ball hit the ground. good relationships are built on great conversation.”

“on a date, you've got to tell them all the interesting stuff about you, because that's what they'll be interested in.”

“he said to me, he goes, ‘you can't smoke on here.’ i said, ‘i'm not smoking, i'm vaping.’ the look on his face when i said that. i don't think he knew what vaping… what a vape is.”

“you would make me the happiest mouse if you say yes and become my spouse.”

“here's a tip, [name], next time you take a chick out on a date, don't bore her to tears.”

“roses are red, violets are blue, i've got five fingers, the third one's for you.”

“get out of my way, pipe cleaner.”

“[name] phoned me the other day at three in the morning saying, ‘come quick,

there's a hedgehog in the garden that looks exactly like grandad.’ so i got up, i got dressed and i ran over to [name]'s as fast as i could and then i just stopped in the middle of the street at three in the morning and thought, ‘what the fuck am i doing with my life?’

“you're joking me? because if you are joking me, that is massively harsh.”

“oh, let me get a song up on youtube. you're going to absolutely love this, [name]. here we go… listen to this. oh, for fuck's sake, advert.”

“let's go down the pub and get shitfaced.”

“where do i see myself in five years? well, me and [name] will have a flat in the middle of the village and all of our furniture will be inflatable and we'll have cable and it will pay for itself, because we're going to use the spare room to breed quails, because their eggs are worth fucking shitloads.”

“is this about the calippo, still? because you offered to buy me that.”

“if he wants to go, good luck to him, i say. i reckon he thinks that i can't live without him, which is a laugh, because he went a whole weekend away once and i got on all right. i just ended up following this cat around the village.”

“i've got to do what's right for me, at the end of the day, instead of worrying about other people.”

“how about you say sorry? sorry for the massive knife that's hanging out the back of my back because of you.”

“oh, and while you're stabbing me in the back, feel free to bend down and kiss my arse.”

“can i just ask you an honest question? why would you want to leave the village when we've got a pub and a shop?”

“i think you don't know how lucky we have it to be doing nothing with our lives, like. we're all going to die, anyway, so what's the point in doing anything?”

“i want ownership of the words fucknut and dickmilk.”

“i had this come through the post. and i've got a few concerns about it. firstly, this guy on the front looks really arrogant. not the sort of guy i was expecting, if i'm honest.”

“this is starting to stress me out a little bit.”

“why are you trying to stress me out? you know i'm already stressed out as it is.”

“the bloke that used to live in there, right, kept hearing strange noises coming out of his attic at night. and he'd go to the fridge and find that food was missing from the fridge. so he thought, ‘i'm just going to go up to the attic and check this out.’ and he found an entire family of peruvian panpipe buskers just living up there. and he thought ‘i'm just going to leave them to it, ‘cos they're not really doing me any harm.’ and then, a few years later, he thought, "well, i'll just go up to the attic to check on them. ‘see if they're all right.’ and it turned out they'd all died of asbestos poisoning. yeah, he doesn't live here any more.”

“some people will always be scared of me, and i can't change that, no matter how nice i am. but there's a balance to be had between being nice and being feared.”

“don't really like catching up. it's not my thing.”

“i just watched this video of this girl doing a random act of kindness on youtube. she basically paid for this old man's shopping at the till. and this old man was, like, about 90 years old. and he's so fucking old, like, you could see through his skin. and he just starts bawling his eyes out. he's like, ‘you're fucking joking me, this ain't fucking real life.’ i just thought... i want to make someone feel like that. ‘cos that's... i really… that's what i want to do.”

“i'm not dead. just can't be arsed to text her sometimes.”

“you know, correct me if i'm wrong, but four texts a day is complete madness. no-one can keep up with that.”

“i am doing kind things selfishly.”

“i was at midnight mass one year, right, someone got tipped off i was there. as i was coming out the church, someone tries to shoot me with a crossbow.”

“well, i haven't seen the film, have i? that's why i came here - to watch the fucking film - like a normal human being.”

“i've made an effort by coming here tonight. i didn't want to come.”

“i had to wheel him here from his house in an asda trolley, cos he was just too heartbroken to move.”

“sometimes you don't know what you got until you ain't got it any more. like blockbuster's. i just took 'em for granted - and then, one day, gone, and you spend ages trying to figure out what went wrong, and then you realise it was your fault all along.”

“i thought you said you wanted to fix things.”

“she wanted it to go that way, and it just wasn't gonna go that way. she even got me thinking that they'd get back together… ..but that's manipula.... manipulative people... do that. and he's better off without her.”

“that wasn't much to write home about.”

“it's fucking dead, isn't it?”

“basically, somebody's been sending me threatening letters, and i don't know who's doing it - and i am concerned, because my peripheral vision is poor, so, if somebody attacks me from the sides or snipes at me from an upstairs window, i am fucked - but my hearing is excellent, see? so i just need to spend a few days inside honing my sonar, and i'll be fine then.”

“if you don't like the work, the circus is in town and they're always looking for clowns.”

“his soul is just going to crumble to dust.”

“this really is not a good situation for me. a physical threat is something that i can deal with, but a sexual thing is not my area of expertise.”

“just really fucked in the head, mate.”

“what have i done? i haven't done anything wrong.”

“do you know how sad that is? that is so, actually, sad. that makes me sad for you, that you can't take a joke.”

“i think i just got a bit carried away with the whole thing.”

“your finger's going up my arsehole, mate.”

“i'll hold the back of your head, so you don't bash yourself.”

“when i lie in future, i don't want a massive lecture on how bad lying is, cos deep down, you're the worst of us all, mate.”

“i'd quite like a coke.”

“it's going to be like gluing a breadstick back together, because… like, as if a breadstick's been in a blender and it's all… ...the pieces smashed up.”

“like, this one time i started a fight club in the village hall, and i got a black eye from beating myself up. but it made my enemies think, ‘fuck, if she can do that to herself, what the fuck can she do to me?’”

“i'm absolutely 1,000% sure i've broken it in two places.”

“i knew this day would come.”

“i should be in tk maxx, getting the bargains that i deserve.”

“unlike you, [name], i'm not a fashion disaster.”

“i'm still warm in my grave, and she's sucking off the pallbearer.”

“you know, it took me ten years to get over [name], and i only went out with her for half a day.”

“i swear to god, if i see him here again, i swear to god, i will have no hesitation in just going up to him and just planting one on his face.”

“right, then keep your nose out of my business, yeah? nosy old cock-womble.”

“[name]’s attitude to me is puzzling. if i walk past her in the street

and say hi, she'll tell me to fuck off. yet every year, she sends me a really sweet, nice christmas card. you know, there's just no consistency there.”

“he's good-looking up close, isn't he?”

“don't show me any weakness, because i will take advantage.”

“no, put the brick down, you fucking psychopath.”

“when i asked him, he just said, ‘come to my office now,’ which means we're in the fucking shit, cos we're always in fucking shit.”

“i shouldn't be paying you at all.”

“i've always had a son. i talk about him all the time.”

“he's my son. he's not my dog.”

“it reminds me of the wicker man. i don't really know why.”

“i just find it weird how you can be so close to someone and they can be such a big part of your life, and then the next minute, you're just sort of strangers in the night.”

“i don't want the emotional implications.”

“well, about five years ago, i sold my birthday to my mum for about 200 quid, which means my mum's legally entitled now to never celebrate my birthday ever again for the rest of my life. not even, like, a happy birthday cup of tea, or a moonpig card, nothing - which is the worst decision i ever made in my entire life.”

“he deserves that anyway, because he's been sexting my nan, so…”

“what's this surprise? cos i need to know whether it's going to be worth this walk.”

“i always see them banners above the motorway, and i always thought, ‘who the fuck does them?’ well, now i know. people like me.”

“did you know you can't get stung by a stinging nettle if you grab the leaf top and bottom, like that? it's only when you touch it on the sides, it stings. agh, actually, that stung, then.”

“pez dispenser, they're cursed. they are, i'm not even joking. honestly, when i had one of them, i had the worst bout of bad luck i ever had in my life.”

“i swear down, it's a short cut. it might be a pleasant walk, we might enjoy it.”

“i'm not scared of the fox twins. i'd just like to sit them down and ask 'em plainly, ‘look, guys, what is going on? ‘cos this has just gotten completely out of hand now. you know, stop walking on your knuckles, stand up straight, be the best version of you that you can be. get a job, even. there's a trolley boy who works at tesco's, you know, who may as well have been raised by wolves. if he can get a job, you guys can walk it.’”

“yes, there has been talk of strange goings-on in the woods, ghost sightings and the like. but… ...they're never from particularly reliable sources.”

“i live with a ghost. there's a ghost in that house. he's like a civil war cavalier, with all the hair and the hat and all that. and every time i walk into the living room, he doffs his cap. and on his shoulder, he's got this crow that barks at me. it means i spend less time in the house, really. not because of him, because he's-he's quite peaceable. but the crow is malevolent. and i'm not having that. i can't share my house with a malevolent bird.”

“that's haunted as fuck.”

“am i going mad here, or does that, to you, look like that's where just ghost will hang out all the time?”

“look at him, little red riding twat.”

“if he's got an attitude with me, i swear to god, i'll just grab the steering wheel and drive us all into a wall.”

“it's a bit annoying, actually. cos this is not the first or the second time i've had to tell you, really, is it?”

“his sparkle has just gone.”

“you know my dad actually wrote the song wonderwall on the back of a beer mat in the space of ten minutes, don't you?”

“i've just got a tiny, tiny, tiny little favour to ask you.”

“when i think of [name], i think of someone who is very loyal. and very, very stupid. sort of more stupid than loyal. sort of 70% stupid, 30% loyal, probably. because she's very loyal. but extremely stupid.”

“do you know what? i actually don't think he loves you at all and i don't think he's ever loved you.”

“all right, that's harsh and unnecessary, but fine.”

“frankly, she is behaving like the antichrist.”

“i literally just got here.”

“you are such an unemotional slab of ham, [name].”

“i've got so much shit on that man you would not believe.”

“there's something in my eye.”

“i just can't quit him, you know?”

“yeah, we might have a fiery relationship,  but when we're together, it's just… it's just pure chemistry, isn't it?”

“i'm not proud of it, believe me. but at the end of the day, i'm a very vindictive person, you know? it is what makes me me.”

“i basically went out and bought an alpaca off gumtree for £500. of all the mistakes i've made in my life, that was possibly the largest. definitely the physically largest.”

“yeah, i really don't wanna talk about that.”

“her only loyalty is to herself, staffies, and the tv channel dave… ...which, in my opinion, is a tv channel made by knuckle-draggers for knuckle-draggers.”

“i can't move on till i've seeked revenge, unfortunately.”

“if that was in france, that would be fine, but we're not in france.”

“the only thing we had in common, really, was stealing, and that was more my thing that i got him onto. but it just goes to show, you know, some friendships last and some friendships don't, but that's just the way it is.”

“you know it was me that got you sacked, don't you?”

“the thing i learnt about friendship is, you gotta accept each other's flaws, no matter how toxic they may be.”

“shit-stirring from beyond the grave.”

[alienguts]

“Accident” (Ash Williams x f!reader)

Summary: Ash helps Y/N to dress her wounds after an incident.

Warnings: blood, self-harm, references to depression. This one takes a huge turn, so please be careful!

Request?: No

A/N: This one turned out a lot longer than I’d expected it to but that’s because I still don’t know how to end a story ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ash was on cloud nine when he left work on Friday evening. He’d bought a six-pack of beer, a fresh dimebag, had the pizza place on speed dial, and a week off to spend with his favourite girl. He could have danced to his car if the parking lot wasn’t full of people. Damn 24/7 opening hours.

He unlocked the car hurriedly and tossed the beers onto the passenger seat before taking his place behind the wheel and starting the engine. Music played softly out of the radio, which he immediately cracked up after finding something good to listen to. This is going to be a good week, Ash thought as he cruised down the road towards home.

“Honey, I’m home!” Ash shouted into the apartment, doing his best Fred Flintstone. There was no answer. “Y/N? Are you home, baby?”

“I’m in the bathroom, Ash!” Y/N’s muffled voice shouted back. Thank God he didn’t end up looking like a fool yelling into an empty apartment. Ash shrugged off his work smock and lazily threw it onto the sofa before going to put the beers in the fridge and get his fresh stash ready for smoking.

Y/N seemed to be taking her dear sweet old time in the bathroom, but that wasn’t exactly unusual for her. Still, Ash thought something was a little fishy. He picked up the landline and the pizza menu before making his way over to the bathroom door.

“Hey, Y/N?” he called through the door as he knocked on it. “What kinda pizza do you wanna get? I’m going to order it now.” The water suddenly started to run on the other side.

“I’ll just get whatever you’re having, babe,” Y/N called back. Her voice didn’t sound right. Usually, she spoke clearly, but this time she stammered slightly and her voice wavered.

“Everything okay in there?” Ash asked her, his hand moving to the door handle.

“I’m fine, Ash! Just go order or whatever,” she replied hurriedly.

Five minutes after Ash had made an order over the phone for a large pepperoni pizza, Y/N was still holed up in the bathroom, running the tap every now and then. This was definitely unusual behaviour for Y/N, and Ash was beginning to get worried.

“Baby, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been in there a long time now,” Ash said to her through the door once again. There was no answer this time. He needed to do something before he started to panic. 

“I’m coming in now, Y/N,” he said before turning the door handle and opening the door in one movement.

He’d expected to see her face turned into some hideous monster, but what he actually saw just broke his heart instead.

Y/N was sitting on the closed toilet lid, her face tear-stained and red, her wrist wrapped up in a bloody towel. There weren’t any dishes in the kitchen, dirty or clean, so Ash knew right away that this was no accident. She looked at him with guilty eyes before casting her gaze down into her lap where she gripped her wrist tightly with the towel.

“Hey, look at me,” he said as he knelt down in front of her and took her still bleeding wrist in his hand. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, I just want to know if you’re safe.”

Ash and Y/N knew about each other’s struggles with their mental health; it took a lot for the two of them to open up to one another about it, and they both agreed that it was good that they understood each other. Y/N knew all about Ash’s grief in losing his loved ones and his hand, while Ash knew that Y/N had struggled with self-harm for a long time. However, he had no idea that she had started doing it again. He didn’t realise that she’d started wearing long-sleeved shirts again, and if he saw a bandage on her, he just assumed that it had happened at work, not under his nose.

“Can you stand?” he asked her gently. She could only shake her head to say no. Luckily, the bathroom was small enough that he didn’t need to move too far away from her to reach the sink. 

Ash unravelled the blood-stained towel from her arm to expose the nasty little cuts on her skin before turning on the tap and fishing a washcloth out of the medicine cabinet, along with the first aid kit that Y/N kept there for emergencies. He soaked the washcloth with lukewarm water and instructed her to keep it tight over her wrist to help stop the bleeding. Her hand trembled slightly but she managed to do as she was told.

After a couple of minutes of compressing and cleaning the cuts, Ash gently dried off her wrist with a clean towel and laid a piece of gauze over the skin before tightly wrapping it up in a bandage, making sure it wasn’t too uncomfortable for Y/N. He looked up to see if she was feeling any better but saw that she just looked wiped out and exhausted. Her eyes were blank and red, the shadows underneath them looking almost hollow. Ash knew that she wasn’t going to move in her current state so he moved forward to wrap her arms and legs around him, as if she were a baby koala, and carried her back into the living room where he laid them both down on the sofa, holding her tight to his chest.

The two of them laid there in complete silence, Ash stroking her hair while Y/N listened to his steady heartbeat, until a knock sounded at the front door. Y/N’s head shot up and she looked at him with pleading eyes. He smiled softly at her before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“It’s just the pizza guy,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “I’ll just go to the door and then I’ll the right back, okay?”

“Okay,” Y/N finally managed to croak out in a tiny voice. She unwrapped herself from him to let him go to the door, but those two minutes without him still felt cold. Ash brought the large flat box over to the floor in front of the sofa and sat down, making sure to pull Y/N into his lap in the process.

“I hope pepperoni’s okay with you, but you did say to just order whatever,” he said.

“Pepperoni’s fine,” Y/N said with a weak smile. It didn’t stay on her face for long, though. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Ash asked her before taking a bite of the greasy pizza.

“For worrying you. And for getting blood all over the towels.” Ash put the slice down and wiped his greased fingers on his pants before reaching up to caress her face.

“Y/N, I’ve known about this for a while now. Yeah, I got worried, but I’m relieved to know that you’re safe. Plus, I don’t care about blood on the towels, I’ve seen you get stains out of anything.”

Y/N smiled sheepishly. “I just don’t want you to think that I’m a burden or a crazy person for being like this sometimes, especially when I don’t want to be left alone.”

“Well, it’s a good thing that I have the whole week off because I plan on spending as much of that time as I can with you. You’re my favourite girl, y’know?”

“And you’re my favourite guy,” Y/N said before leaning in to kiss Ash, who didn’t realise that he still had lingering pizza grease on his mouth. Y/N looked grossed out when she pulled away. “My favourite guy doesn’t always taste like pepperoni, though.”

“You still love me though,” Ash said before wiping his mouth and flashing a grin at her.

“Yeah, I do,” she said before hugging him again.

[mst3kproject]

The Monster of Piedras Blancas

At some point I realized that I'd done an awful lot of fishman movies on this blog, so I decided I needed a tag for them.  I chose #it's beginning to look a lot like fishmen, after a rather amusing musical version of The Shadow over Innsmouth that you can find on YouTube.  Most of them are less fun than said video, and this one very much so.  It qualifies itself for MST3King by featuring Forrest Lewis from The Thing that Couldn't Die, Don Sullivan from The Giant Gila Monster, and Jeanne Carmen from Untamed Youth.

Some lonely people feed the birds or stray cats in their neighbourhood. The lighthouse keeper of Piedras Blancas doesn't have any of those, so he feeds the fish monster that lives below the rocks.  As long as he does this, it only occasionally kills people when they wander into its territory, but trouble begins when the grocer fails to save enough meat scraps to satisfy it.  Soon the hungry beast is lopping heads off right and left and draining the bodies of blood!  The local constable thinks he may have a homicidal maniac on his hands, but marine biologist Fred identifies a shed scale at the scene as belonging to a Diplovertebron, a beast thought to be long-extinct.

Diplovertebron is an actual creature with its own Wikipedia article and everything. According to said article, it was a lizardy sort of a thing that lived in what is now the Czech Republic three hundred million years ago, and was around half a meter long.  It's a very obscure and not terribly threatening animal, and I have a hard time imagining why the writers chose it, of all extinct creepy-crawlies, to be their monster's ancestor.  It doesn't even have a very interesting name. 'Diplovertebron' is quite technical-sounding and has too many syllables to roll nicely off the tongue.  Why not pick something that at least sounds scary?

The Monster of Piedras Blancas is a bloated, sedate movie.  It knows that movies need breaks between the actiony bits... but its actiony bits have no real action, and the talky scenes it inserts to space them out are deathly dull and contribute almost nothing.  There's a bit where two characters discuss a victim's time of death in great detail, taking into account things like a spilled bottle of ink, that would have reduced Joel to tears.  It almost becomes a joke when Fred and the Doctor discuss the minutiae of Diplovertebron scales, while the constable sits there growling impatiently at them.  When even your characters think the movie is too slow, you have a problem.

Everything that might possibly be exciting takes place off-screen.  This is fine and even expected during the 'building suspense' parts – of course we don't see the deaths of the fishermen or the grocer. The bit where we first see the entire monster, when characters open a walk-in fridge and it lumbers out holding a severed head, is honestly pretty well-done.  After that, however, we should finally get to see some monster-eating-people scenes... but since this is yet another stupid rubber fishman suit a la the She-Creature, all it's actually capable of is slapping a few guys and then fleeing.  It supposedly kills a couple of gun-toting rednecks, but the fight happens elsewhere while the audience watches Fred and the doctor fart around in a cave.  We don't see the monster again until it inevitably kidnaps the lighthouse-keeper's cute daughter at the climax.

The severed head is pretty plasticky and looks nothing like the guy it supposedly came from, but an effort was made and I respect that. There are veins sticking out the bottom of it and a really creepy bit where we find it in the monster's lair with crabs crawling over it.

As the movie draws closer to its climax, the men in the town sit down and have a good think about how they're going to defeat it. They know they can't overpower it, and it seems to be reasonably intelligent, so they've decided they're going to have to outwit it. Their big plan for doing so is... throw a net over it.

I expected this to fail spectacularly, but what actually happened was even dumber.  I will not spoil the last thirty seconds of this movie for you, because it's funny as hell, but let's just say that fishmen are like pumas – if you ever meet one in real life, you can just push it the hell over.

As you might have guessed, Lucy is only in this movie so that she can be saved from the monster and can kiss Fred as the words the end appear on the screen.  The only interesting thing about her is a brief moment of stunning misogyny.  She comes running to the doctor to tell him her father has had an accident and needs help – and before going to do so, the doctor makes Lucy take a sedative. Her behaviour was not in any way hysterical or unreasonable.  A little reassurance would have done the job just fine!

This scene suggests that the townspeople don't think very highly of Lucy, and there are other bits that tell us she's probably supposed to be at least ten years younger than twenty-nine-year-old actress Jeanne Carmen.  On the other hand, they seem to think she's capable enough to look after her injured father alone and with only a locked door to protect her from the marauding monster.  Then again, if they didn't, it couldn't carry her off to be menaced.  Yet again, a movie's leading lady is a plot device rather than a character.  This seems particularly true of fishman movies.  Think of the Creature from the Black Lagoon series.

As I mentioned upfront, I have seen a lot of fishman movies.  This is the fifteenth since this blog's inception!  I thought there were a lot of bigfoot movies around, but if you check the tags you'll see that fishmen outnumber him two to one!  This brings up an interesting question – namely, why?

Why fishmen? Sea Monsters have a long and fascinating history that includes not just the classic serpent and kraken but such things as savage merpeople, scaly pig-fish covered with eyes, and according to one sixteenth-century map, very large Yorkshire terriers.  Then along came the 1930s and the popularization of the Loch Ness Monster as plesiosaur, opening up the range to prehistoric sea beasties.  Why not one of those?

I'm guessing the answer is 'because they're expensive'.  Those would require puppets and stop motion and other special effects.  A guy in a costume is much cheaper to build and operate.

Okay, but even if you have to restrict yourself to human-shaped monsters, there are plenty of those, too!  There's the aforementioned merpeople, but also vampires, werewolves, zombies, mummies, and their ilk!  Dracula and Frankenstein are both in the public domain!  And make no mistake, people have made lots of movies about those... but they have also made a whole lot of movies about fishmen!  Why fishmen?

The answer, most likely, is that Creature from the Black Lagoon came out in 1954 and it was huge, being one of those movies that requires an entire separate Wikipedia article for its cultural impact!  The tidal wave of other fishman movies that followed it are like the glut of monster-on-a-spaceship movies that followed Alien, or the fad for teenage slasher movies in the 1980s, or those cheaply animated direct-to-DVD movies that cluster around every Disney and Dreamworks release.  A fishman movie had made money, and now everybody was lining up to milk the scaly, mucus-coated cash cow!

That was a terrible mix of metaphors right there.  Yuck.

There's also something uniquely horrifying about one of the genre's major tropes – the fishman's interest in human women.  This, too, began with Creature from the Black Lagoon but as we've seen it carried over into other films – Bog and Creatures from the Abyss are notable examples (and then there's The Shape of Water). In The Monster from Piedras Blancas this idea is present in that the monster kidnaps Lucy instead of just killing her like it did every other human it met, but it's not emphasized the way the monster's interest in Kay was in Black Lagoon. Fish are proverbially cold and slimy, and the idea of sexual contact with one is almost reminiscent of necrophilia unless you have some very specific interests (see previous parentheses).  The fishman's lack of genitals make it that much more disturbing.

So now that we've sorted that out, my final question about fishman movies is this: could a fishman beat bigfoot in a fight? They're both big, broad-chested creatures that movies like to outfit with claws, teeth, superhuman strength, and bad tempers.  I think it would depend on where the battle happened.  If they're in the water, then the fishman has a clear advantage – bigfoot can drown.  If they're on land, things are a little more even.  The fishman's slime would make him difficult to hang onto, but if his gills dry out he'll have a hard time breathing.  Bigfoot's fur gives the fishman something to yank, but his large feet make him hard to knock down.  It might depend on whether or not the fishman is venomous.

Why hasn't anybody made that movie?  Picture it – dozens of fishmen swimming upstream to spawn, and bigfoot dragging them out of the water to eat like bears with salmon!  I'd absolutely pay for exorbitantly expensive theatre popcorn if it meant I got to see that on screen!

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

Watching (the Adventures of) Merlin season one on Netflix

Episode One: The Dragon's Call

. . . I feel like going to the capital of the kingdom indiscriminately slaughtering magic users wasn't the best idea.

Why? Well, that guy did just get executed.

And now his mom is mad. You tell that sorry excuse for a king, witch lady.

I don't like Uther, in case it was unclear.

Wait... if you could teleport why not just grab your son and ditch before he loses his head? Literally.

Oh, wow. Arthur is a dick.

Morgana. We have no choice but to stan tbh.

Dragon, you're really rubbing me the wrong way.

That's right Merlin! We need more than Because Destiny Says So!

Where did the spiderwebs come from? That sleeping spell gives me Sleeping Beauty vibes.

Ah, yes. The old drop-the- chandelier-on-the-villain trick. :(

If she went after Uther instead of Arthur I would have no complaints.

Manservant? You call that a reward for saving your son?

Episode Two: Valiant

Snake!Shield

Oh, he's gonna- Yup, dead. That's what happens when you deal with knights who cheat.

Where did that guy even get a magic shield in the first place?

Is there a thriving magic black market or something?

I love Guin.

. . . I feel like Sir Valiant didn't think this through. If bite marks are visible.

Ugh, you're the worst Uther.

It's only the second episode! Did you forget who saved your son already?

Stop being a jerk Arthur.

Lol. Merlin bringing a dog statue to life in order to practice for the Snake!Shield.

Bye Valiant!

Episode Three: The Mark of Nimueh

Whatcha up to with that egg, new witch lady?

You gonna poison the water of all of Camelot? Seems like a jerk move.

Dang that's a lot of dead bodies...

No, I like Guin's dad!

Yes! Cure him Merlin!

No! Stop arresting Guin, Uther!

You tell him, Morgana!

That plague monster that hatched from witch lady's egg is creepy.

Dead monster!

Arthur is kinda oblivious to Merlin's magic ngl.

Yay! Guin's free!

What do you know about witch lady Nimueh, Uther? Hmm? Why she want you dead? Besides the obvious reasons.

Episode Four: The Poisoned Chalice

Wow, Nimueh really doesn't like Merlin saving the day.

Wow, Nimueh really orchestrated an entire diplomatic incident in order to kill Merlin while also ensuring Camelot is destroyed by its neighbor. Impressive.

I really like Merlin and Guin's friendship.

Dang. Merlin really drank poison in order to save Arthur.

Merlin saved Arthur's life, Uther! Let him return the favor!

Oh, wow. Arthur really disobeyed his father in order to save Merlin's life.

I didn't know Merlin could cast spells while deathly delirious. And several miles away from him too.

Uther you b****! The antidote is right there! Let Arthur save his friend!

Putting your own son in a cell is such a jerk move.

At least Arthur and Guin manage to sneak the antidote to Merlin.

Quick aside: Internet spoilers say Uther needs to die for Arthur to complete his himbofication- I mean character development. So, if you could get on with that? Thanks!

Episode Five: Lancelot

Wow, that's a very CGI griffin.

Lancelot is so precious- Uh, I mean effective! Saving Merlin and all.

I know, Guin. I know.

Always thought it was a stupid rule to only let nobles be knights.

You're really going to commit magical forgery for someone you just met, Merlin?

I mean, Lancelot is earnest, hardworking, modest, kind despite his tragic backstory and it's his childhood dream to be a knight...

Yeah, I'd commit magical forgery too.

Lol, knocked you on your ass didn't he Arthur? (The second time at least)

I don't remember griffins being man-eaters!

Uther stop arresting people! Ugh, you're such a classist.

Let Lancelot help fight the griffin, Arthur! You need all the help you can get!

Well okay letting him go was nice of you.

Lancelot-Merlin tag team!

Wow. Lancelot really strode in with Camelot's singular braincell by figuring out Merlin has magic.

(The bar is low, okay.)

No, don't take away the braincell! Stay! The griffin was a team effort!

Okay, Lancelot's lawful good tendencies are a little annoying but, hey, nobody's perfect.

Episode Six: A Remedy to Cure All Ills

Edwin, no. Leave Morgana alone.

Oh, beetles! Curse beetles! That's not creepy at all.

Gaius how do you know Edwin?

What diabolical plot are you hatching Edwin? Oh, you're replacing Gaius in the royal court. That's kinda rude.

Merlin's so happy meeting another magic user that isn't trying to kill him (yet).

Le gasp! Uther's purge killed Edwin's parents? WhO cOuLd HaVe fOreSeEn tHis!?

But seriously. No wonder Edwin wants Uther dead.

I know Edwin blackmailed Gaius with exposing Merlin but he also wants to kill Uther!

That gives him a pass in my book.

Gaius no. Let Uther die.

Edwin stop trying to kill Gaius! You're going to-

Yup, here comes Merlin and-

Edwin's dead :(

Well he was trying to overthrow the kingdom. That's... bad... I guess.

Episode Seven: The Gates of Avalon

That title is misleading. It's more of a natural portal/magic lake type thing.

Arthur saves a father and daughter from bandits (Which they hired but shhh)

And they immediately try to put a love spell on Arthur

For human sacrifice purposes of course

Idk why the Sidhe want a human prince's soul -look at him, you don't know where he's been- but that's the price for readmission

I wonder how the dad killed one of his own kind? Was it an accident or...?

Exiling the daughter too makes me suspicious of Avalon's justice system

Evil laugh is a bit out of place for someone who is trying to restore his daughter's immortality

(They are so whiny about being mortal. Hey, we put up with it all the time!)

The fairy-like Sidhe moving in accelerated time so they just look like tiny orbs of light was an interesting touch. The blue faces and razor sharp teeth is not a good look for them, lol

They make Arthur ask to be married ('cause it takes a while for the love spell to go into full blown mind control or something)

Prompting Uther to threaten to kill both of them

(I feel like they didn't think this through)

Morgana admonishes Uther for being the worst

He replies that first love rarely lasts and that Arthur is inexperienced in such things. Plus that Arthur only met the girl yesterday

... I can't believe Uther is the voice of reason this episode

He doesn't get any points though. Due to the whole "threatening to execution his son's 'crush' " thing

The daughter is having second thoughts about using Arthur as a human sacrifice

Dear old dad puts those to rest and they try drowning Arthur in the lake that is/is the portal to, Avalon

Merlin's really leaning into the whole "Cool motive. Still murder.", thing huh?

Like, he did NOT hesitate to blow up both of them

Episode Eight: The Beginning of the End

Why do magic users keep going to Camelot!? The king is trying to KILL YOU!

Wow, this grown ass man is threatened by a literal child... I hate Uther so much

Morgana is the MVP of this episode. I love her

Protect that druid kid!

I feel like you're being paranoid Uther

You tell him Morgana!

Dragon, no. Stop prophesying death and destruction.

Wow, this grown ass dragon is threatened by a literal child...

Aaaand Morgana got caught sneaking the kid out of the city :(

Uther she is your adopted daughter! Stop putting people in cells!

Arthur is gonna sneak him out now?

While Morgana distracts the king?

Yes, excellent. What could possibly-

Merlin stop listening to that destiny dragon! Hearing his voice in your head is no basis for trust!

Cutting it close... Yay! They made it!

Mordred!? MORDRED!?

THAT little boy is Mordred!?

... Okay, I'm more inclined to believe the destiny dragon now

Still think letting him die would be a dick move

Episode Nine: Excalibur

What're you up to with that tomb Nimueh?

Oh! It's some kind of undead knight. Yes.

Throwing down the gauntlet. Pfft! Always thought that was a stupid idea.

Also: that Black Knight literally crashed your party!

Ugh, knights.

Nimueh if you can just teleport into the heart of Camelot while Uther is alone why don't you just stab him? Grab one of those pointy things he likes so much and stab him in the back. Easy peasy!

Stealing this joke but Don't do evil magic kids. It fries your brain cells.

Wait, the Black Knight is Uther's brother-in-law!?

Arthur's mother died in childbirth!?

Uther asked Nimueh to use her magic so he could have Arthur!?

Equivalent Exchange!?

Uther went on a genocidal rampage because he didn't bother with the instruction manual of ancient and powerful magic!?

Actually, that last one is not surprising at all.

I can't believe they're using the Wife in the Fridge trope. That appliance hasn't even been invented yet!

Ooh, Merlin's going to use his magic to destroy the Black Knight so Arthur doesn't have to fight him

As he's killed two knights already

Aaaaand, yup, he's still there. His cloak didn't even catch fire...

Arthur stop being a bastard. It doesn't suit you

Dragon forged sword! DRAGON FORGED SWORD!

Only Arthur can wield it. Yup, got it. How could this possibly go wrong?

Uther drugged Arthur and took his place in the fight... I have mixed feelings about this.

Wait, the dragon was very specific about only Arthur using that super special sword! Oh, snap.

Well at least the Black Knight is dead. Again.

Oh, dragon is not happy.

I know the dragon said "where no mortal soul could find it" but are you sure you wanna throw it into Avalon, Merlin?

Those people were gonna suck Arthur's soul out of his body

Episode Ten: The Moment of Truth

The way this episode title just lies to your face like that...

Oh, you're Merlin's mother! Thought we had an anime protagonists type thing going on

I... would like to say Uther is being unreasonable when he decides not to cross borders to get rid of some bandits. But I can totally see everyone hating him so that's a no go.

Lady, you were in a whole different kingdom. Why for the love of Merlin did you send him to Camelot!?

We're off to save the village! Morgana and Guin are coming too!

A wild Arthur appears!

Morgana better at swordplay than Arthur confirmed!

Merlin! I didn't know you had friends!

Granted he's a bit rough around the edges but

Okay. If it were literally anyone else besides Arthur. I'd say he was right about lords and knights being useless snobs.

Actually. He's right about lords and knights being useless snobs. Ah, that felt great.

Wow, the homosexual subtext is strong with this one.

The girls can tell Arthur came for Merlin.

But get your foot out of his face! I don't care how royal it is!

Look at Guin over here calling out Arthur for being a dick

And talking him into letting the women fight. She's on a roll

Aw, Merlin's friend died. :(

And he took credit for Merlin's tornado (so Arthur wouldn't find out about Merlin's magic)

Episode Eleven: The Labyrinth of Gedref

Lol, that unicorn could use a haircut.

No, Arthur. I said a haircut not an arrow to the chest!

Bad things? What kind of bad things Gaius?

Uther what's the point of having an expert in magical lore if you're not going to listen to him!

And all the crops are dead. Fantastic.

I know it's a magic thing but stating outright that the blight only targets edible plants is still really unsettling.

And the water's turned to sand. Great.

Who're you and how come Merlin is the only magic user that can't teleport?

What kind of tests mister Keeper of the Unicorns, sir?

Arthur I know you don't want to believe it's your fault... But it's totally your fault.

Uther no. People are starving.

You tell him Arthur.

Oh, the "theif" was a test!

Aaaaand he failed the second one. :(

Merlin's got a lot of faith in Arthur.

It's interesting how the Keeper can only direct the curse caused by the unicorn's death. Or rather the trials surrounding the curse, but can't break it himself.

Unicorns have some powerful magic.

The Labyrinth was barely on screen for five minutes! Surely something with Unicorn in the title would be more appropriate?

Arthur drinking a poisoned cup so Merlin could live?

That's some strong parallels right there.

The Keeper of the Unicorns is such a troll! Sleeping potion, hah!

The day is saved, Arthur lies to Uther's face about killing the Keeper and the unicorn resurrects itself.

Still needs a haircut though.

Episode Twelve: To Kill the King

Whatcha up to Guin's dad?

Oh that guy isn't suspicious at all.

You didn't think it was shady when he asked to meet in the middle of the night!?

Philosopher's Stone!?

Wow, the guards found him quickly.

What- No! Don't arrest Guin's dad!

Uther, he's a blacksmith! Stop being paranoid!

Will you stop executing people!? That inn keeper didn't know that guy was a dangerous sorcerer!

No, nononononono! He surrendered! Why did you do that!? Guin's father was important to Morgana!

That's why she gave him the key!

Dragon has his priorities straight.

Shut up, Merlin. You literally blew up a father and daughter for trying to kill one(1) person. (No really, you could see their hands flying off.)

Morgana deserves a little murder. As a treat.

Yes! Get him! Kill the bastard!

No! Why would you make GUIN say that!? Who are you and what have you done with Guin!?🔪🔪

UGH, he literally committed genocide!

The "that would make me as bad as he is" DOES NOT APPLY!

What- Oh, he still has the fairy's staff.

No. Stop it! Let Uther die!

Oh, God, Uther is such an abusive piece of GARBAGE!

Stop! Don't fall for it Morgana!

*sees dagger being pushed closer to Uther's "heart"* Yes! Yes! YES!

*Morgana saves him* NO!

NO!

NOOOOOO!

*inarticulate ranting in the background*

Episode Thirteen:

Okay, the cgi might be getting a little better 'cause the Questing Beast is freaky

Old religion? What is that? And how come it's conveniently absent from the previous episodes?

Dang, they really here just casually gaslighting Morgana like that 😡

Merlin you know Morgana has visions! You couldn't have been a little more careful? She warned you. Now look at Arthur, he's got the heroic death disease

Granted that thing does seem like a handful

Why do you only act like a father when it's a matter of life and death? Why can't you be a father literally any other time!?

"The old religion is the magic of the Earth itself."

Well that sounds fascinating, dragon. Are you going to elaborate? No? Later then?

Soooooo, is the old religion actually a religion or is it a magic? It's really unclear...

"You will be a better king than your father could ever hope to be." Guin, you're back!

I expected a place called the Isle of the Blessed to be less... creepy

Nimueh! Whatcha up to girl? Plotting the demise of a kingdom? Not today it seems

Oh there some Equivalent Exchange type nonsense going on is there?

Arthur you were supposed to be in a coma not listening to Guin!

Oh. Oh, no.

Merlin saying goodbye as he prepares to trade his life for his mother's is 😢😭

Wow, that dragon really knew Nimueh would give Merlin's mother the curse and didn't say anything. The little b*****!

No wonder Merlin's mad at him. Stop breathing fire at him! It's your own fault!

Gaius, no! Not the dead mentor trope!

"You stood by and watched as our friends died." Damn, Nimueh isn't pulling her punches.

Merlin vs Nimueh! Ready? Fight!

Anime protagonist power up! Dang, Nimueh's dead... I feel like that wasn't supposed to happen.

At least no one else is dying. Since Nimueh's death appeased the Equivalent Exchange laws of the old religion.

[opossumanonymous]

Dead Silent part 1

Warnings: Izuku needs a hug now, he has a panic attack, this a horror story,

What is a boy to do at night when there's a knock at the door...

******************************************************

It was a cool summer night in the Japanese countryside, the moon was high in the sky as stars twinkled. While on the ground crikets chirped and fire flies went on their nightly stroll around a humble cottage.

The old walls of the little cottage creaked slightly in the cool summer wind.

Izuku yawned at the stove, it was around midnight when he was finally able to pull himself away from his summer homework.

His mom had made dinner earlier leaving it in the fridge for him to reheat later.

Tiredly he looked over at the old broken microwave in the corner of the kitchen.

He needed to drive down to the store in the morning to buy them a new microwave. Theirs shorted out not too long ago, he'd already added it to the grocery list on the fridge.

The closest town with a grocery store was a good two hour drive from their modest home. So trips didn't happen often.

He looked out the window out over the valleys and hills of the land his family owned. The moon rose high in the sky illuminating his mother's garden where fresh tomatoes and cucumbers grew.

He couldn't wait to harvest them in the morning after weeks of caring for them his mother finally deemed them fit for harvest.

Meanwhile his pepper plant still had yet to give any peppers, but it was his first time growing something on his own. He'll get there his mom told him, then he'll be growing his own garden maybe it'll even be better than hers.

He didn't think so but only time and practice will tell.

It was nights like these that made making late night ramen taste even better.

He was just about to turn off the stove when he heard the first knock.

Knock!

Huh that's weird who'd be out at this hour? Let alone in the middle of nowhere, him and his mom where the only people around for 2 miles. He was probably just hearing things after all it was late around 1 in the morning now.

Knock!

Now he knows he's not hearing things someone's definitely at the door. Turning off the stove he contemplates who could be knocking at this hour.

Maybe it was just a hiker who just got lost, there were a few trails around here. Or maybe someone who's having car troubles and needs a tow?

Either way Izuku was anxious to open the door to a stranger, after all it was just him and his mom alone here.

"Izuku? Honey are you there? I locked myself out by accident can you come open the door for me please?"

Izuku sighed in relief, it was just his mom probably making sure wild foxes weren't tearing up the garden again.

They'd always had trouble with the pesky creatures stealing their fruits and tearing up the plant beds. Usually working in the night to avoid any interruptions to their havoc.

Walking to the front door the loose floorboard infront of the kitchen creaks as he goes to open the front door

Just as he's about to put his hand on the knob to open the door he stops.

Something catching his attention out of the corner of his eye.

He snaps his head over to the living room where the corner lamp was on, not giving much light to light up the whole living room. But it was enough that he could recognize the woman sitting in the recliner next to it.

It was his mom.

She sat in the recliner the curve of her round face and body lit by the lamp. She had a book open in her lap as she let out gentle snors.

But if she's there then whose-

Knock! Knock!

"Izuku what's taking so long? It's really cold out here."

That's not his mom.

His hand that was still inches away from the door knob began to shake.

"Izuku? Honey? Can you hear me?"

Knock! Knock!

He snatched his had away from the door backing away as if it had burned him.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Izuku come on open the door this isn't funny!"

He began to sweat buckets as he looked into the living room again.

He thought he might have been imagining her sitting in the living room. But no she was still there when he looked again still sleeping peacefully.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Izuku now I'm only going to ask one more time! Open this door right now!"

Now the knob began to shake as the knocking continued now louder than before.

That's not his mom!

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"IZUKU! OPEN THIS DOOR! NOW!"

The voice of his mother spoke again from behind the door. While he looked at her sleeping form in the living room.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"IZUK̸͔͉̥͓̪̮̫̈́́͑Ư̸̡̥̱͔̠̝̒̇̿͌́̒̐̉̐͋́̕̕͜͠!"

He began to hyperventilate suddenly feeling like he couldn't breathe. His back now hitting a wall making him unable to back away from the door any further.

BANG! BANG!

"IZ̷̡̤̝̬̦͔͔̞̍̑̾͌̔̒̒̀͝Ư̶̧̭͓̘̬̳̻̼̰͓̦̠̥̺͌̈́͆̉͑͆̑̅̋͐̇̍̕͠ͅĶ̷̡̛͎̹͓̇̈́̌̏̇̑̚͠ͅỤ̷̦̝̯̦͚̱̑͠!"

The knocking now turned into banging as the voice that definitely does not belong mother began shouting his name. Causing the young high schoolers eyes to water as he stood frozen in place.

THAT'S NOT HIS MOM!

"I̴̧̗͈̘͔͎̽̉̓͒̃̆͠Z̴̢̢̟͖͍̩̗͎̳̀̕ͅU̵̖͙͙̽͒͝K̴̨͔̳͔̟̐̾̈́̇̎̄̆̽̀̅̚͝͝Ư̸̼̥̬̬͍͍̞̮͚͐͆͑̀̊̉̌̉̇̿͜!̴̧̨̧̛̥̼̦̬̖͙͋̾̑͋̏̈̿̀̑͋̒͘͜͝"

Putting his hands over his ears he closed his eyes sliding down the wall into a fetal position.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

He squeezed his eyes tighter pushing his head into his knees as if it will somehow stop everything that's happening.

All the while his mom slept on in her recliner oblivious to the horror going on a few feet away.

How could she still be sleeping with all this noise?!

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

"I̴̧̗͈̘͔͎̽̉̓͒̃̆͠Z̴̢̢̟͖͍̩̗͎̳̀̕ͅU̵̖͙͙̽͒͝K̴̨͔̳͔̟̐̾̈́̇̎̄̆̽̀̅̚͝͝Ư̸̼̥̬̬͍͍̞̮͚͐͆͑̀̊̉̌̉̇̿͜!̴̧̨̧̛̥̼̦̬̖͙͋̾̑͋̏̈̿̀̑͋̒͘͜͝"

The banging stopped suddenly.

So did the shouting.

All that Izuku could hear was his own ragged breathing and his heart beating erratically.

Was it all in his head?

Thump!

Jumping up he snapped his head toward the living room.

Only to find his mom slumped over further, her book now on the floor, having fallen due to her sudden movement.

He looked back to the door sweat still dripping from his brow.

Nothing not a knock or a bang or a voice, it's as if nothing ever happened.

He could've almost laughed if it wasn't for his heart nearly jumping out of his chest.

N̴̼̓o̶̖̽.̴̠̎

Getting up he eased over to the door avoiding the creaky floor board by the entrance to the kitchen.

D̴̻̽o̷͉̓n̶͙̄'̵̘̚ẗ̶̡ ̸͕̆ȍ̸͓p̴͈͂ĕ̶̹n̵̛̼ ̵͉͋i̵͔̚t̶̢͑.̴̙̏

He put one of his sweaty hands on the door knob while the other turned the lock.

D̴̞͌o̵̩͂n̵͖̊'̷͈́ẗ̵̘ ̶̻̿ǫ̸̕p̵̾ͅẹ̸̀n̵̻̄ ̴͎̍i̸̧͝t̴͔́!̴̃ͅ

Slowly the door creaked as he peered out the Crack only to find.....

Nothing.

There was nothing outside the door just the empty countryside.

Not a person or an animal or a monster, just the calm and quiet countryside. It was so quiet he could probably hear a pen drop on the engawa.

Izuku calmed breathing properly again before the hairs on the back of his neck stood.

He just realized he couldn't hear anything besides the soft snores of his mother.

Not a cricket or a grasshopper or even a fox all of which usually making noise now completely silent.

Dead silent.

Quickly as he could Izuku slammed the front door and locked it not wanting to find out what caused this strange silence.

When he thought about it how long had it been this silent? He was so distracted by the screaming and banging at the door he didn't notice how quiet it got.

Was it before or after the knocking?

He couldn't remember he just couldn't-

Cool breathe hit the back of his neck.

All the hairs on his body stood as sweat trickled down his face. A sob welling up in his throat making him unable to speak as he nearly choked on his own air.

"T̶̙̃h̵̖͊a̷̠̓n̵̙̏k̴͔͋ ̷̙͘y̸̧͐o̵̬̓ȕ̵͉ ̷̟̓f̸̦̈o̷̳͊r̵̦̎ ̸͉̑ĺ̴͉e̸͕̚t̴͕̿t̵̮͛ȉ̴̫ṉ̴̋g̸̞͊ ̸̪͑ŭ̸̻š̸͕ ̸̳͘i̵̠̐n̴̩̄ ̶̹̈́l̵͕͑i̶͇͝t̶̪͝t̸̹̊l̶͉̆ȇ̴͖ ̷̞̋ọ̵̍n̵̯̊e̷͔͘."

******************************************************

End of part 1 I wonder who was at the door?

H̴̦͑è̵̳̻͆͝͝ ̸̜̣̟̾̔̈́s̷̪͂́̎̈́̕h̵̤̓̂̾̍o̸̫̪͎͌ͅŭ̴͖̠̤̃ͅļ̷̧̜̫̖̈́͋̓͆͠d̴͍̻̩̳̬͊̈́͑͑̈́n̴̨̲̟͝'̶̡̰̌t̸̗̘̜͊́̈̚ ̴̱̪̼̜̑̀̈́͒h̶̟̣̀a̷͇̮̳̅̏̉̈́v̴̛̙̓̽͑͊e̷̤͍̹͗́̀͒͠ ̷͎̼̮̝̗͂͒ò̶̦͉̘̗͛̾̃̎p̷̜̏ẽ̷͕̘̮̩̜̾͐̄̇n̸̹̪͐̅͝ͅe̵̢̼̲̜̭͛̒͊̽͝ḑ̶͈̮̋̀̈́̑ ̸̗̙̏ẗ̶̡͙̗̣́͛͆͝ḣ̷͔̹͈͙͑̈́̎͝ẹ̴̠̞̘́̋͑͘ ̴̣͖̹̩͍̓̈́̋̋̕d̷͚̱̥̄͜ͅô̶͔͘ő̶̮̉̎͑̚ȓ̴̫̦̫̫̋̌̔̈́ ̸̪͇̦̈́̆̒ḷ̵́͝ͅi̸͕̩̖͗̿͒ͅķ̶͖͙͋̚ę̸̭̳͇̙͌̂ ̵̧̞̣͎̖̓̎̏͛̆f̷̛̼̫̾̑̀̕í̵̲̇̇̚͝r̶̛͔̟͊́̈́s̷͕͂̕͜͠͝t̶̡͑͊̾ ̴͙͈͉̫̄͛ͅs̵̠̳̖̘̈́ą̵̨̖̈́̌͠i̵͚͓̫͋d̶̢͖͊̅͝ͅ.̵̣͂̒͆͝ ̷̨̩̗̒̕

B̴̗̘̯͐̽̔͜ͅu̷̝̎͊͂ẗ̸̛̮̺̠͜ ̷͋ͅh̷̪̠̏̂e̵̛̞̽͜ ̸͍̤̘̽͊̇l̵̰̖͓̮̗̀̒̓̕e̷̙̰͝ṱ̸̼̬͖̬͛͒ ̶̱̣͆̔̚Á̶̡̩̜̻̪͒l̵̩̫̖̫͊ĺ̵̲͊ ̷̺̖̮̑͝f̴̛̝̺̔̒͆̕o̶̺̤̱̳͋͒͝͝r̴͉̘̲̪̦̄ ̵̝͓͇̆̍͘O̴͍͙̹̤̝͒͋̓̄n̶̛͖̮̰̊͛͛͠ê̴̝̯̾̉̽ ̵̲͑́i̷̤͍̙͖̝̔n̴͕͈̬̯̒́̐͒ ̴̧͎̝̈́͌ǹ̸̺̜̞̹̼o̶̘͋w̷̤̦̟͊̓̇͌ ̷̼̮͓̹͍̊̀ţ̸͖̝͎̿͗̀͝h̸̬̰̣͔͠ͅe̴̢̛͍̝͇͌̉̈͗ÿ̷̜͈͙́̆̊ ̵͕̈͗͠͝ḃ̶̯͙͐ė̶̢͆̕ḽ̶͓̉̈͐ǭ̸͛̕n̷̺̙̜̯̗̑͛̓g̵̳͕̑ͅ ̷̧̢͎̤̜͋̄̈́̏t̶̛͖̭͕́o̵̭̠̺͓͖͛͂ ̸͓̽͊͋̉͝h̵̢̯̔̅ḯ̵̺͙̖͇m̵͎͖̣̣̭̂̅̆.̵̺̉͗͊̄̕

Welp guess we'll find out in part 2

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror Villains / Slenderman and Seedeater x Reader || Oneshot

Title: Into the Unknown

Notes:

Based off the song from Frozen ‘Into the Unknown’.

One Horror Villain in particular is in this story. Wait and try to figure out who it is before it ends ^^ (;

‘X Reader’ as in you’re going to interact with them. Not as in you’re in a romance with them all. 

The Horror Villains are only really mentioned. Except the one you gotta watch out for

I love this. So. Much. 

Plot: Reader has spent her whole life, from 13 years old, searching for, defeating and understanding the creatures of night. They’ve always fascinated her- that they’re so dark, and yet still so coherent. She felt drawn to them, because she felt like she understood them. And she loved the thrill, of being a part of it.

But she stopped that years ago. She’s a grandmother now, a wife. Which isn’t to say that she regrets being either of those things. In fact, she loves it. Which is the very reason she’s put her monster hunting days behind her. She can’t put the people around her in danger, but… there’s something, in the woods, calling out to her.

Warnings: I don't think there is anything actually?  

~~~

I have a surprising, out of the ordinary amount to think about, while you wash the dishes today. See, the window above this houses sink, adorned with pale blue and pink swirls over a white base paint, looks out onto the Black Forest, which unironically is the bane of my existence right now. Something about it, is clearly off in some way. More people disappear between its perimeter then Crystal Lake, Haddonfield and Pleasant Valley put together. And that’s just what normal people, without my experience and expertise can see.

I can feel it. A gut warning, not to go in there. Not for a walk, not to explore and definitely not respond to its calls. I can feel it like a tugging at my heart, like what forced my feet to move down the aisle on my wedding day, and what makes people run away from the basement at night once the lights are turned off all at once. I know there’s something in there, and something in me definitely wants to go see. To feel the adventure in the wind again on my face.

But I won’t. I can’t.

There’s something in this house calling for me to stay away, as well. It’s called family, and love. And no mystical forest is going to tear me from it.

Finishing the last plate, I pull big rubber gloves off my hands and drop them on the side of the sink and flash the forest one more dirty look, before turning away completely and leaving the room.

At this time of day, the yellow painted walls look more a beautiful, late day orange. Shadows from the trees hit, as well, and as I open the windows to let in the air, I feel immediate relaxation as the coolness caresses my cheeks and my neck. Settles me down, grounds me. Fills my heart with something other then the longing and disobedience I’m forcing upon myself.

Once all the windows are open, so I can clearly hear the wind chimes outside and the rooms all cool down, goose bumps crawling up my arms in a good way, I pick up a book from the shelf under the dusty TV and settle myself down comfortably in a chair covered in pillows in various floral designs. Yes, its an old lady chair, but its comforting and looks good with the rest of the décor.

Half an hour of peaceful reading successfully takes my mind off of the forest and whoever, or whatever, is in and allows me to disappear half inside the pages of another murder mystery. Then I hear the bell I handily fixed to the front door because my husband walks completely silently, jingle like an old Café signalling him getting home. “I’ve returned. I managed to find the bickies you like on my travels, so you’ll love me for another day I think.”

A nearly delicate snort escapes me at that, purely happy he’s back and put down my book as the door shuts again and the disembodied voice becomes Hudson when he round the hallway corner and enters the livingroom. A bag of groceries in each hand, which I get up and help him with immediately, taking one and peaking inside. Aha! The biscuits! He laughs softly, at my antic and leads me to kitchen, so we can put the books away. I risk a glance out the window, at the forest just so see how dark it is now. Not orange, but a dusky blue. I turn away from the forest coldly, which cuts off its calls to me in response, and turn on the light.

“So, how were your travels?” I ask, pulling the milk and some sandwich meats out of a bag and heading to the fridge, which he opens for me on instinct before taking the warm foods to the cupboard.

“A hassle, I’m sure is what you want to hear as I was away from you for so long,” I flash him a cheeky look at that for being so cheeky himself, and get another soft laugh back. Almost inhuman, its so soft. I’ve always thought, he must have some fae in him, and theorised that he’s a changing. “But it was quite nice. I walked all down the shops, and looked in most of them. Not the butchers, though. You know why.”

Ah, yeah. The man running the desk there, Dexter, is a bit of a flirt. But instead of admitting that I pick up on his advances, I shrug and take a seat at the kitchen table to watch him put away the rest of warm groceries. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. But go on.”

A deep sigh escapes him, which is totally put on as I know he finds my antics endearing- he’s told me too many times before. “You know very well, but whatever. I did go into the Indian grocery though, and I picked up some of those spices I sent you a picture of, and… “He goes on about the spices, which truly did interest me, as they were all the way from New Delhi and had beautiful jars, but suddenly the feeling from the forest picked up. Got stronger, and grew to fill every inch of me. If I were a dog, my ears would perk up and my nose would be going crazy.

That same call for midnight adventure, now made worse because of beautiful night air that made me feel so much better before, as if it’s changed tactics. For a few moments, at least, I stare off into space, towards the tall trees and darkness between trunks of the Black Forest. For a second, I allow myself to wonder what’s in there. Well actually, ‘allow’ may not be the wrong word, as it was completely out of my control.

But then Hudson’s hand lands gently on my shoulder, as he sinks into the seat beside me and successfully knocks me back to my senses just in time. A relieved sigh escapes me on accident, as I turn from the window again and to him. Senses crash down on me and I drop my shoulders. “I’m so sorry, I’m tired today.”

“Tired. Is that what we’re calling it?” He raises his eyebrows, knowing very well what’s really going on with me. And I know what he thinks I should do. But I can’t. Who knows what’s in that forest? It could be dangerous. Could be voodoo, like Chucky. Or something worse, something more demented like spirit. I wont call that to my family by revealing myself to it. He squeezes my shoulder and it’s halfway between comforting and advocative. So, I give him a look, but I lean into him.

“You know why I can’t give in to it.” My voice is nothing but a whisper, because who knows. It could be listening.

“Too much of you is part of that side of the world, Y/N. You can’t cut it off, you should give it a chance.” I look away from his face, and definitely away from the window. The wall, then. “I’m afraid it’ll rip you apart.

“Then so be it.” I don’t really mean it. To take care of my family, I need to be here. And even without that, I’m not ready to die. The years of fighting off things that have, has assured that fear in me. But I want this conversation to be over, so I say it.

He sets me with a serious look, like just saying that hurts him he wants me to never do it again. I glance at him, and sigh. “Promise me to think about it?”

“Can’t do that.” He knows, I can’t.

“… well, its not as if you can avoid it. Its ingrained in you. I’ll just wait and see.” Those little comments, although very true, have me gaping at his audacity. He flashes me a mischievous grin, then pull me up to our feet and wraps an arm around me. “Come on, darling. Let’s go to bed, then. I don’t foresee this conversation ending well for either of us.”

“Clever boy.” I clip, grinning at him when he gapes himself.

~~~

Later that night, once the sky is a deep, dark midnight blue and the stars and the moon are only just causing enough light to see shapes and dull colours by, I’m still wide awake. Hudson’s fallen into a peaceful sleep, but I’m still laying on my back with my eyes wide open, staring at the uneventful ceiling. The feeling calling me to the forest is so loud, in my ears now like rushing water at the pool, or a waterfall. Or tsunami.

I shouldn’t go. I can’t. I won’t!

The window in our room faces the same way as the kitchen, and if I only get up I could see it. Curb some of this pressure.

But if I do that, there’s a 50/50 chance that I’ll snap and go marauding into the forest at night. Which is dangerous without the definite mystical being hugged inside it.

I really shouldn’t go.

Another couple seconds pass, and I’m getting out of bed and pulling on my dressing down over my comfortable, soft pyjamas. I pass right over the window like the dauntless I am and go right to the front door, which I swing open. A cold rush of air, definitely not from natural sources, comes at me like waking up ice and I look out to the forest, which is a football field sized walk through the snow to get to from here. But that isn’t what’s daunting, despite the fact that I’m only wearing fuzzy socks and slippers to protect my feet.

No, it’s the figure waiting for me. Its huge, too, and I can’t figure anything else in the dark and from this distance. A final moment passes, and I pull a ski hat on over my head and my ears and go marauding towards the forest. “To hell.” I snap, on my way with my fists clenched.

About hallway towards the being, the monster, it starts coming towards me, as well. I don’t know what to expect when I get there. I all I know is that the feeling I’m getting off of it this moment is not benevolent, and I try to believe that. Finally, when we get within 5 feet of each other, we stop. It’s got a skull face that would be horrifying to anyone who hadn’t already seen what’s under the Midnight Man’s mask and the horrible screaming faces on a dream demon’s stomach. And its also got hair, human like and soft looking but unbrushed and probably never been washed, all over its bulging body. It stays still, only moving enough to breath out visible steam from its skull head into the world.

Not one to shy away, and certainly not one to stand by and just look when I’ve been called and decided to come, I take the remaining steps to it. Slowly, and cautiously. I raise my hand like you do when you’re approaching a wild beast, so it can smell you and theirs at least one thing between you and its teeth, which really wouldn’t help but at least makes you feel better, and focus on the way my shoes crush gently into the centre metres of sand under them. The sound’s satisfying, and calms me enough to reach the monster, and touch my hand to the middle of its skull.

A grunt escapes it, causing more frosty air to come out from him and into the world, before he sits his behind down into the snow without fear and pushes gently back into my hand. I feel that familiar, unreal joy at being with another creature, and start gently stroking up and down the smooth material, a puff of frosty air escaping my own mouth as I break into a smile. “Ohh, were you the only thing hiding in those woods? Oh, you’re a sweetheart. I’m glad we met.” A giggle escapes me when he tilts his head and I watch the delicate way his long, wispy fur moves in the wind. He’s the kind of beautiful that forces a smile on you, and a giggle out. Personally, my favourite kind of beautiful.

Relaxing, as the feeling calling me to the forest all but dissipates, I stay with him for a little while longer. As long as I can, actually. In the end, he’s the one who gets up, taps my nose with his huge one, and turns away and trots off. I watch him go, in complete peace and content…

Before my stomach drops and a realisation, made dull because of the nice experience I just had, hits me. The feeling’s come right back, now that he’s leaving, and taking the relief with him. “You… weren’t, the thing calling to me, were you?” I ask it so quietly, I didn’t think he would hear.

But a roar is my response. And the air around me, or in me, whispers Right…

Theirs more.

~~~

The next morning I poor Hudson orange juice and slide it over the bench to him, avoiding the discussion of last nights adventure for as long as I can. Because I know, he knows. He knows everything, somehow. And he’s been giving me a knowing look all morning.

“So,” The mischievous way his voice bends around that conjunction is wholly obnoxious, but I hide my eyeroll badly by drinking my own orange juice. It only makes him want to talk more. “Are you going to go back, tonight?”

Of course! Of course, he knows that theirs more to see. Changeling, for sure.

Setting him with a ‘Stop’ look, I round the counter and head for the living room to sit down and read some more of my book to get away from this, but of course he follows me. “Probably not, in answer to your question.”

He straddles the footrest that goes with this chair and takes my book from me, so I have to focus on him. “Sweetheart, I just want you to be happy. And well.”

“And I you.” I say curtly, and because I want to end this conversation.

“That’s wonderful to hear, darling, but you know what I mean. Didn’t meeting that big, dog-monster feel good?”

Of course, it did…

To that, I have no sarcastic or show-stopping response, because yes. I felt the best then than I have since the last monster. I love monsters, and Slashers, and creatures and beings. They’re my passion, my thing. But I didn’t choose that, and I guess that’s what caught me, here.

I picked my family.

I guess what I’m between, is what I chose and what I didn’t.

I take a deep breath, and look back at him.

~~~

… okay. I think, readying myself to go in. I’ve got a satchel with some food, a couple charms, my compass and all the crystals in the house- plus some dried chamomile petals in little bag, for safety and protection. Don’t know how effective these things will be, you never know when you go up against something new, but it’s definitely worth a shot.  

I’m just squaring my shoulders to go, and start my trek across the field, when Hudson’s hands fall on my shoulders and nearly causes me a stroke. He never makes noise when he walks!! And he knows he scared me, too, if the chuckling is anything to go by. Oh my god…

“Goodluck sweetheart, I have the utmost faith in you.” Oh, his voice is way too cheerful because he won. I should make rissoles tonight, then he’ll be sorry. He hates rissoles. I bet he’s smiling.

Bastard.

“Thank you.”

“Goodbye kiss?”

I turn over my shoulder to look at him, and give him just a squinty smile. “Not on your life!”

“Ooh, you wound me. Okay, have fun!” Well, he seemed to get over that ailment quickly, seeing as he pats my butt to get me going. I shoot him one more greasy, then get on my way.

Across the field to possibly certain doom… but also possible delicious, wonderful adventure, I go.

As I travel across the field and into the forest, whispering in me and in the air gets louder. Just like the voice that said ‘Right’, last night, this one is. Except more urgent, and getting worse the further I go, pushing me on. I feel like what I’m reaching is big.

Past bushes and beautiful autumnal environment I go all the way through, stepping over logs and around trees that stand in my way because the voice knows where I need to go, and therefore so do I.

An hour passes of just stomping, and travelling, until abruptly the voice tells me to Stop! Harshly, of course I follow its instructions. Who am I to ignore a wind voice.

At first, I look slowly around thinking I’ll see it just standing there, waiting for me in plain sight like the monster from last night. And when I don’t see anything, I look harder, because maybe its camouflaged? Eventually though, after about 10 minutes of staying where I am, where it told me to Stop, I give up just peering around and move. I walk around the clearing, forest floor covered in brick coloured, marmalade shades, and dandelion painted leaves, and wet sticks, and patches of snow, and look in as many different ways as I can think of. Maybe I’m looking for something super small… maybe something so big it blends into the picture… maybe it’s not animalistic but a mystical object… But alas, nothing.

Until, eventually, I turn around he’s just there.

“-Holy fuck!-“ I react, jumping back from what, or who, is obviously what I was looking for, having not expected at all for him to be just standing there where I already checked 3 times when I turned around. An otherworldly and staticky yet still somehow spiteful chuckle fills the forest, somehow coming from the whispering of the wind and his person at once.

“Thought I might have some fun, seeing as you made me wait so long. How’s that for consideration? I have things to do, you know.” When he talks, theirs surprisingly no humour evident in his voice. In fact, he sounds bitter, and annoyed.

“Well, hey, man. I didn’t RSVP so you shouldn’t have been expecting me in the first place.” I snap back, getting up from where I’d fallen on my butt and peeling wet leaves off my jacket.

“Hm, no, well I suppose you aren’t the one who called this meeting, so… “He mutters- well, I say mutter because he says it like he doesn’t want me to hear, but he doesn’t lower his voice. He’s not afraid of me hearing, he would just appreciate it if I wouldn’t listen.

Cocky bastard.

I watch, cautiously as he raises a long, white, spiderlike finger to his left temple and taps it. “Telepathetic.”

“Oh… “Heat builds up in my cheeks, despite the freezing cold. “Uh, sorry.”

“And I thought you mortals were aware of me… Offender sure as heck doesn’t try to keep us a secret.” That unlocks knowledge in me. He’s Slenderman, of course! I didn’t realise, because I truly didn’t think he existed! A Creepypasta, used to curb teenage lust and loneliness. But, honestly, his figure should have led me to that conclusion. And if not that, then the hundreds of other clues. The way the voice in the ‘wind’ sounded like it was in my own head, the very fact that we’re locate din the Black Forest, in Germany… Maybe Hudson’s right, and I’m out of tune.

“Hm, yes, quite. You are incompetent.” Man, that telepathy is going to be a pain. I thought Slenderman was supposed to be a gentleman… but, then again. I guess, he is a recluse. And he really doesn’t care what he says.

Despite his rudeness, it is amazing that he’s real. It sparks an awe in me, that’s even more intense then the creature from last night. He, is the epitome of what monster hunters and explorers want to prove is real. He’s... a dream come true. I’m… I’m tickled, and… humbled, to get to meet him. So tall, and amazing. Majestic from every angle.

But… I’m still confused.

“So, what did you want me for, anyway?”

Immediately, the long, thin tentacles that were hanging decoratively dormant around Slenderman flick annoyedly and his mood takes an instant change to even worse. I take a quick step back, hoping beyond hope that distance will calm him down. Because if now, there is no way anything in my satchel will save me. “What did I want from you?! Why… He said you n- … “Again, with the ‘he’. Who’s he?

I want to know, but not enough to get decapitated for it so I don’t ask out loud.

Slenderman’s words cut off into static air sizzling around us, as the cogs in his brain start working faster, I’m sure, before he comes to a conclusion. He turns his head to ‘look’ at me again, without eyes, and stays silent for a moment. The air feels even colder then before, as the static gets momentarily unbearable and I squeak, covering my ears. Then it cuts off, and he sighs in utter annoyance. “Get out of my forest.” And with those last, sweet parting words, he disappears.

“I… “ I look around, to make sure he isn’t waiting behind me to kill me, because he just seems like that kind of monster, before closing my mouth and curtly turning to go home. Well, that was… I’m not quite sure.

It was amazing, getting to meet him… I’ll never forget it. My heart’s beat feels errative, and calm all at once because this is my passion… but… I’m still confused. Who’s ‘he’? Why did Slenderman call me? What was all this about?

But… then again… I think as I walk. As disappointing and hard as it may be for me, and any other monster afficionado… the fact of Slender’s age does have to play a part. And the fact, if we are to believe all the information that’s on the internet, that he lives alone and contact others as little as possible, so… well, he might just be off his rocker. Maybe… Maybe I shouldn’t put much stock into the things he said. He seemed confused himself. And, to be honest, a little instable.

I worry my bottom lip as I emerge from the forest again and hour later, or less because the way back always takes less.

If I’ve learnt nothing from this experience… except of course the Slenderman is real and a real jerk, too… it’s that I cant live anymore without this feeling, that I get when I adventure, and meet something new. When I realise, that all the myths and legends and stories that humans have told over the years may be true, somehow.

It builds me up, and makes me feel brave. I’ve missed it.

I… I don’t know, if I can go back to dormancy.

After I open the front door of my house, and close it behind me I lean back into it, tired and giddy. I’m so giddy, that I nearly don’t notice the smell of dinner on the stove but when I do my tummy rumbles, and I push off the door and go into the kitchen. I find the pot on the stove, and a note on the pot lid.

‘Y/N, dearest.

I’ve gone out for a walk while this boils. So, if you come home while I’m out, know I’ve just gone down the path in the backyard, not run off away from you for I could never do such a thing.

I hope your trip went well, and I can’t wait to hear about it over dinner.

Oh, and the garlic bread is in the oven and is probably burning.

Xoxo,

-          Hudson I.’

“Gah!” Garlic bread! I smell it now! Damnit Hudson!

~~~ BACK IN THE FOREST. THIRD PERSON POV~~~

The man in the dark coat, and silvery beard, slips easily into Slender Mansion and to Slender’s study without the other Pasta’s knowledge, but certainly not without Slenders knowledge.

“You made go see that stupid girl as your one favour… and she didn’t even know you sent me after her??” The pen in Slenders hand snaps, making him sighs deeply and put it down, wiping his hand of ink with a handkerchief. Inkubus but smiles.

“She needed to be reminded of what she loved. It was important enough for the favour to me.”

“You’ve confused her. I don’t think I’d keep things from my mortal, if I ever was idiot enough to fall in love with one… “Slender finishes cleaning his fingers, and turns in his seat to drop the ruined handkerchief in the bin by his desk. He sighs, in defeat, because he knows he will never get through to the other immortal. He’s never been able to, before. What’s new now? “But, then again, I wouldn’t make that mistake, so I really don’t know.”

“She’ll be fine. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you. I saw the whole thing, and it worked wonderfully.” 

Slender sets Inkubus which is a blank look to anyone else, but which is one of total deadpan to him. “Whatever. It was a favour, so now you can go back to your wife. You burnt the garlic bread, and she’s not happy about it.”

[queenofgotham800]

Kitty-Cat

(Roman Sionis x Reader x Victor Zsasz)

Requested by: @oneandonlyizabelle

(A/n): I'm sorry this took me so long. I hope you will enjoy it 💜🐈

Warnings: Gramatical Errors, Swearing, Blood, Death

This is story of one kitten, who got lost from her owner. Here on streets, she was free, even tho she missed food, milk and of course her owner. Streets of Gotham City were huge, It wasn't like her little home.

That day, she was seraching some food, close to Black Mask club. In her world it was nothing, but another building in Gotham City.

Her eyes were looking on doors of that building, which suddenly opened. She wanted to run away, but her curiosity made her stay.

You came outside of the Black mask club sitting on stairs, pouring milk to few bowls, putting them on ground like every day. The cats were curious and thirsty, but only one of them came to you. She was black with scar through her eye. It reminded you Victor, and you smiled. Kitten was purring and you smiled, stroking her fur on head.

"Hey kitten, you came here again?" you smiled and opened the doors letting her into the club.

Little kitten was totally feeling out of her place, mostly becouse these buildings were just some background for her, and now they took whole another meaning to her. She sat in front of the doors, waiting for you.

"Aww, you are so cute," you held her up, carrying her through the club like a baby, looking for Roman and Victor.

"Darling? Look at this baby, she is so cute," you said, comming closer to Roman, who was dealing with some business, talking with two mans, that looked angry, becouse of you interupted their meeting.

You handed the cat to Roman, who was unsure if he should take her on his suit or bath her first.

"So... That's the cat..," Roman said, refusing to touch her. "Yeah.. Sorry about that by the way," you smirked as you thought at the accident that happened yesterday. Roman accused Victor of stealing milk from his fridge, and they had serious argument about it. Then you came and explained to them both, that you gave it to cats on streets.

"Look how cute is she," you smiled and said, "Pleaseee."

The two gangsters next to him were nervous, giving you ugly glares, which you ignored.

"Love, she is very cute, indeed, but i have some work to do," Roman leaned closer to you and whispered, "Those guys are big Tim and bigger Jim, and they are very dangerous honey."

"Then be safe," you said, giving him kiss.

"That's enough," big guy Tim behind Roman standed and pointed a weapon on him. Roman sighed and smiled, "and this is why I wanted to do the business in my warehouse," he turned to them, expecting Victor to appear from nowhere. But he didn't, you didn't see his blond hair, that you loved so much.

"Where is Victor?" Roman rolled his eyes, turning back to you.

"I have no idea, I couldn't find him in club.." you mumbled.

"I said that's enough!" shouted Tim again. Crowd of people was watching you with interest. They weren't afraid, they were just curious. In the crowd was surely many people who wanted Roman dead.

Then you did something unexpected. You stood in front of the guy with weapon, Roman was behind you. "Babe, stop it," he wanted to stop you, but you already pushed your head towards the gun.

"What? Are you going to shoot me or not," you laughed, watching his confused expresion.

"No, no way, nobody is gonna get hurt in my club and especialy not my girlfriend," Roman said, slowly catching your shoulder.

"No," second gangster Jim came to Roman, pointing a gun against his head too.

"As you wish," Tim said to you, ready to pull the trigger.

Suddenly the cat jumped from your arms on big Tim's face, who didn't responded fast enough, and simply forgot he is holding a gun, letting the trigger go, falling on the floor with little cat on his face.

He screamed and you felt Roman's hands pulling you closer, to the safe space as bigger Jim ran to help his brother.

"Don't move Tim, i'm gonna shoot that fucking thing from your face!" Jim screamed, aiming with the gun on little kitten.

"No!" you reached for the plate, on which were three drinks. As you took it, three glasses felt down, spilling the alcohol on floor, breaking. You didn't cared, and neither did Roman. Bigger Jim, was big, for sure, but not that tall you wouldn't reach his head. Roman smiled, watching you smacking the iron plate through the head of bigger Jim. Roman could swear he heared his head crack.

"Ugly piece of shit," you mumbled as Jim felt on ground, possibly dead. Then you came and took the kitten from Tim's face. "Ewww.. Roman, call somebody to clean this mess," you said as you saw the Tim's eyes. He was alive, breathing, screaming. His eyes were full of blood, which was running down on the floor like a river. "Yeah, sure, ehm.. Waitress?" he stopped some waitress and told her to clean bloody floor together with bartender.

"Well, now I'm scared," Roman came to you still refusing to look at the cat, while she angrily hissed at him. "But she is so cute," you smiled, but Roman looked concerned. "Babe, please, don't do this again.." he said, holding your cheek. You catched his hand and kissed it, "What else should I do? Watch how is somebody every day pointing a gun at you? I am tired of it... And I still love saving you," you whispered to him and he licked his lips at the thought of you saving him. It was a secret, which only you and Victor knew about. Roman was dominant, but from time to time he loved to be submissive one too.

"I should look for Vic," you said, "if he's not here, he will be upstairs."

"Kay, we will meet in the dining room, when dinner comes," Roman smiled, kissing you, "I ordered some pizza, I know you and Victor love it, " Roman watched you leave with kitten, upstairs to your shared apartment.

"Victor? Vic? Are you here?" you shouted through the apartment. At first it was quiet, and then Victor finaly shouted back, "Yeah princess, but you will have to find mee," you rolled eyes and listened to his humming melody of some song. "I have a surprise for you," you said, loudly, so he could hear you. "You do? I have too," Victor's voice was close.

You stopped next to doors, leading to the little room, which Victor used like workshop, to modify weapons. You knocked, "Can i go in?" you asked.

"Yes," he said and you opened the doors. His workshop was a mess of iron, steel, gun powder. Many guns were laying on floor and you nearly tripped over them.

"Look, I made you new knif.." he said, and then his eyes moved from you, to the cat. He was surprised and the cat hissed at him. Victor smile dissapeared as you came closer to him, giving him the cat.

"No, No, princess please don't.." he backed with worried look.

"Oh, C'mon, she was outside i brought her that milk from our fridge," you smiled and Victor lifted eyebrows. "So, this is the little kitten," he mumbled and tried to stroke her head. Kitten hissed at him again and scratched him. "Auch," Victor pulled away his hand. "Baby, we don't do this, okay, not to Victor and not to Roman," you turned kitten to your face and scolded her. "Sorry, Vic, she is just scared a bit." you turned to Victor.

"Scared, huh? Take the knife, I made it for you," Victor said, giving you the sharp knife.

"Oh, thank you so much," you put kitten down on floor, took the knife from Victor and tried some tricks with it.

"What is on dinner?" Victor asked and you smiled. "I am preparing dinner tomorrow love, today it's Roman's turn." you said and kissed him.

Breakfasts and lunches were prepared by servant's which worked for Roman, but dinner was special. Every day, one of you prepared the table and choosed the food, it was nice habit that you three had.

While was Roman preparing the table, setting up some candles, Victor came to him and asked.

"What's on dinner?"

Roman looked at him and smiled, "Pizza."

"Sorry about that.. You know.. The thing yesterday," Roman apologized.

"About.. That milk from fridge?" Victor asked with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah," Roman mumbled as he lit up the last candle.

"You don't have to be sorry, by the way did you saw the little kitten, with scar on her eye?" Victor asked him, "(Y/n) brought it here today, she looked happy with it."

"That kitten?" Roman asked scared, "Please tell me it's not in my.. our club," Roman shouted.

"I have no idea actually, (y/n) was at my workshop and she put her on floor. After that, she left and the kitten left too, I don't know," Victor caught his head.

"That kitten is not a kitten, it is a beast! You didn't saw what it done to big Tim. His eyes ended up on the fucking floor!" Roman was stressing and came to his sofa, turning to Victor.

"Victor, don't move," Roman said pointing behind Zsasz.

"What?" Victor asked and wanted to turn but Roman stopped him.

"Just. Don't move, kay?" Roman whispered this time.

You were tired, after you stopped in Victor's workshop, you went down to club to have some fun.

"Dinner should be ready in five minutes, I should go," you mumbled to yourself, going upstairs to the apartment. After you put down little kitten, you didn't saw her and you hoped she is alright, somewhere in apartment. As you went upstairs, you heared screams of Victor and Roman. It woken you up a bit and you ran through the apartment to help your boyfriends. They were in living room. You caught the knife, which Victor gave you, ready to attack the uninvited guest.

After you rush in there, you dropped the knife on ground as you watched Roman, standing on sofa screaming after kitten, which was licking her paws on ground and Victor, who was trying to protect Roman with pillows.

"Hold that monster away from me!" shouted Roman. They didn't noticed you, holding back laugh as you watched them.

"Where is (y/n) when we need her?" Victor mumbled.

"Right here," you smirked and walked closer to the cat, "Can you explain me please what is happening?" you asked and took kitten in your arms.

"That beast scratched me!" Victor shouted.

"Oh, C'mon, you have a lot of scars Vic," you rolled your eyes.

"Yes, I mean.. She could kill us," said Roman, stepping down from sofa, fixing his suit.

"She? No.. She would not do that. Right?" you asked looking in kittens eyes.

"Meow," kitten meowed and you kissed her on top of her head.

"I'm sorry, I think you have something mine," someone came into living room. He had long coat and suit, not expensive like Roman's, but still elegant. You turned to him, and asked, "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"I am the owner," he said and whistled. In second, little kitten recognized her owner, jumping down from your arms.

"Shadow, I missed you," he smiled on the kitten and then looked on you, "Thank you, for taking care of her. She got lost, I serached her whole weeks and when i saw you in this club with her, my hopes were restored. I thought she is lost forever," he smiled at you.

"We are glad that you found her," said Roman comming closer to him, but still keeping distance from the kitten.

"Well, you can visit her whenever you want," Owner smiled, giving you his number and adress on paper.

"Thank you," you smiled at him, taking the paper.

"Goodbye," Victor turned him to exit and waved.

After the owner of the little kitten named Shadow left, you were sad.

While dinner, you didn't talked as usual and Victor with Roman noticed something is wrong.

"What is happening my love?" Roman asked you, putting second slice of pizza on your plate.

"I just miss the kitten," you said, stabbing the pizza with fork.

"Hey, love don't be sad, we can look for some pet in shop," Victor smiled at you reassuringly.

"And we will go check the shop tommorow." said Roman, and you smiled at both of them.