#I WOULDVE MADE IT MORE DESCRIPTIVE IF IT WASNT

[alohaasaloevera]

KL post-canon sorta fwb/situationship AU where they rile each other up!!!!!!1!1!!1!

—

Lance is so fucking annoying. Keith has decided that his mindset from when he was 18 (and sexually confused—actually, maybe just repressed?) is now superior.

Keith hates how Lance flirts with anything that even remotely looks like a woman. He hates how he jokes around too much. He hates how extensive his skin routine is. He hates how he can’t decide whether he wants to punch Lance or kiss him senseless every single time he wiggles his eyebrows as an attempt to flirt or recites a crappy one-liner at him.

His Things I Hate About Lance list is about to be updated, because they’re at yet another diplomatic party on earth (which is actually more of a “celebrating the fact that the universe didn’t get destroyed” party) and Lance is wearing a navy blue button-down shirt which is very much accentuating his muscles, and it’s causing his brain to malfunction. I guess the constant labor at the farm paid off, Keith thinks.

He’s also flirting with a lady who also seems to be extremely appreciative of Lance’s outfit choice. They look like they’re about to decimate each other in the middle of the room with how their eyes are focused solely on the other. Lance’s eyes flick over to him for a second before he just smirks at Keith—the smug fuck—then he focuses back on the girl in front of him before settling his hand on her hip and leaning closer, his voice a hushed whisper against the shell of her ear.

Keith just rolls his eyes. Not that he cares about who Lance sleeps with anyways.

“You’re drooling.” Shiro says, which earns him a moderately hard slap from Keith on his non-prosthetic arm. “You look mad, too.”

“Shut up.” Keith grumbles, because apparently his 14 year old self’s attitude is now the best way to go, “Go away.”

“Jeez, looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“I said, shut it! Or else telling Adam you made out with Curtis.”

“Please, they’re probably making out with each other as of this moment.”

“Gross!”

“What are you, 12?”

Keith does not go ahead and answer that question, mostly because he doesn’t want to admit that he’s acting more and more immature as the seconds that he stares at Lance and the woman go by.

Shiro, who has been a spectator of Keith pining over the Red Paladin since the early days of Voltron, sighs, before ruffling Keith’s hair, “Please just try and talk out whatever this weird sexual tension between you and him is. For me, please? I’ve already constructed a customized shovel talk for him if you ever do get with him, and let’s just say updating it over the years—”

“Alright, alright! I’ll do it!”

“Thanks, child.”

“Child? Is that what we’re doing now?”

“Just go!”

—

Keith, both fortunately and unfortunately, does not get to talk to Lance until after the party. He walks around the ballroom, and multiple people tell him Lance was last seen walking out eagerly with a girl, so he waits until the next day to talk to him.

What feels unsettling is that how most of the people who let him know about where Lance has gone were talking in an almost…disappointed manner; like they had expected better from him. Which is ridiculous, because for starters, Lance doesn’t need to be all serious and on guard all of the time, especially since they’re celebrating the fact that they had won the war—in fact, it would be out of character for Loverboy Lance to not flirt with at least one person at a party. Secondly, Lance is basically still a kid. Sure, he’s been through some stuff, but he’s still 20 years old. He wouldn’t even have graduated college by now!

Keith gets that they are the Paladins of Voltron, and their duty is to protect the universe, but sometimes the expectations people have for them make them look like flawless, error-free machines who never make mistakes or miss a beat, when it’s far from that. They’re human too. They mess up plans like half the time (maybe not half, but you get the point)!

When he’s walking to Lance’s house—somewhere about a 5 minute walk away from the city and a 10 minute walk from his own house—he stops in his tracks.

What is he even going to say to him?

He can’t be flat-out, outright straightforward with Lance and say, “Oh, I’m kinda in love with you, and have been for the past 5 or so years, so could we stop this friends-with-benefits situationship we have going on and just cut to the real deal?”, but he also can’t be too vague with it.

Though, if there’s anything that Voltron has taught him, one of the things would be, without a doubt, is that you always have to be prepared to improvise.

He knocks on the cold wood, and just when Keith is about to reconsider even coming here, the door opens.

—

In the course of 5 seconds, Keith goes from knocking on a door to being slammed against that same door. Not that he’s going to complain.

“Sorry—” Lance manages in between kisses, “—about—” a kiss on his forehead, “—yesterday.” He kisses Keith gently on the lips, adding more pressure when the smaller’s arms come to wrap around his neck.

Just as Keith relaxes, he breaks the kiss, genuinely confused, “Wait, what?”

“It’s just that you seemed genuinely sad when I was flirting with her, and—” Lance attempts to explain, only for Keith to cut him off.

“Hey, don’t apologize to me for that.” Keith protests. “I was just jealous that you looked fucking amazing in that dress shirt and she was the one who got to have you. Besides, we aren’t exclusive.”

He expects Lance to loosen up—maybe brag about how he wooed Keith with his dazzling looks, but he sure as Zarkon and Honerva themselves does not expect him say this:

“But what if I want to be exclusive?”

Keith’s heart catches in his throat, eyes widening like saucers, “What?”

“I said,” Lance looks straight at Keith, his gaze piercing,

“What if I want to be exclusive?”

Oh, fuck.

[basofy]

uhmmm lisa

[rayroseu]

You know what's sick as hell about the design of the Briar Senates??? It's that their design mirrors the weapon of the Draconias 😭✨

I know they're getting flak rn bcs they feel like "boomers who's against any progress because they value toxic tradition" but i don't really think they're like... entirely evil lol or the root of every bad thing that happened in Malleus'/Lilia's life (though im side eyeing them as one of the perpetrators still lol)

Tbh, removing them would also cause more harm (just some social issues inside the fae society tbh) than good imo, (I know many ppl say this bcs they think removing the Senates would make it possible for the peace between human and faes, but the thing is, the Senates aren't the only group that thinks this way, almost the entirety of Briar Valley does lol so forcibly removing them now would only come off as "Malleus forcing "human ideals" on the faes just because he has spent 4 years with the humans"(plus is the understanding between humans and faes truly achieved if you try to silence one group(even if that group is kinda disagreeable with anything human related lol), plus realistically the faes would trust their fellow faes first rather than some humans,

so for me, Briar Senates doesn't give off the vibe of toxic old people who drags others down in their toxic practices (while that can be an accurate description i feel like it generalizes too much about their behaviour), rather than that, Briar Senates feels more like thorns, like thorns that surrounds Briar Valley, they're not exactly harmful unless you go against them, but ultimately they're still protection for Briar Valley.

Which makes it fitting that their design has a similarity with the Draconia's weapon, they're the thorns that protects the Draconias, even if it means sheltering them.

And, tbh, if the Senates other job is to ensure Draconias lives, they're kinda doing a "decent job"??? If we can assume through Maleficia's (and Malleus' case), since we didnt hear about her leaving the Senate's side, she managed to survive for so long, unlike Meleanor😭 Also could explain why they're so enraged when Lilia arrived with the news that Meleanor died and why they hated the weak bcs what would weakness could protect JJDSJD Kinda wish their hatred against Lilia wasnt that he was a weak bat fae, but rather they doubled down on the fact he failed protecting Meleanor, imagine if Gen. Lilia wasnt as great in magic as the fae nobles were, yet he still managed to earn a position beside the Princess, all that hard work only to fail at the most crucial time, it wouldve make sense in the Senates' side to say, "Meleanor shouldnt have appointed him" (because "he's weak from the start")

oh additionally, this is just my assumption, bcs I felt like the way the Senates recoiled when Lilia hatched the egg was kinda... random?? so this is my made up reason lol Remember, the Senates were adamant that Maleficia should only be the one to hatch the egg because she's a Draconia, but Lilia did it and he's not a Draconia, What if because Lilia hatched the egg, it also affected the development of Malleus?? Like maybe for instance, it affected Malleus' lifespan, maybe he still lives more than one thousand years but he won't live for another thousand years like a pure Draconia because he's been hatched by Lilia as opposed to who they wanted it to be, which is Maleficia, OF COURSE Lilia hatching the egg is heaps better than Malleus dying before being born, but this is just my auto thoughts regarding the random hate reaction the Senates did when Lilia hatched Malleus lol

Interestingly, the placement of the stone of Draconia against the thorns (of the Senates) can also be hinted at their relationship with them??? In Meleanor's case, her stone is on top of the thorns, which may indicate that she's not under the Senate's commands or that its just telling she just lived distantly from the Senates, most importantly her stone is bigger than the thorns which may tell the fact that the Senates worships her because she's powerful and greater than them, and she's not someone who can be trapped/ordered around within the Senates. But, tragically, in Malleus' case, his stone is under the thorns, like its telling that he's under the Senates protection at all cost and his stone is little compared to Meleanor's because he's still young.

I also have a theory that the Senates are part of Briar Valley's land, like its been canonically said that they're the dead faes of Briarland, which makes think that their death is similar to the death of Conall from Maleficent 2, when Conall was buried, his body literally morphed to the land, which makes me think this is how the Senates used to be buried, when they die, they become one with the land, that's why you can't just remove them, when they are literally the Lands of Briar Valley,,,, get it lol

Though this is making me think that if this is the case then Maleficia's city,,, if the Senate's presence are the strongest there bcs that's where they're nearly buried, does that mean around Black Scale Castle is just lowkey a graveyard.... Is that why Halloween is special for Briar Valley bcs they have close ties/respect for the dead and Halloween is essentially about honoring the dead 😭✨

Off topic, but maybe the thorns part of the Draconia's staff may also tell about their age. Notice how Meleanor's staff has 3 twists which may tell that she's atleast 300~ years old, (if each twists signifies a century), while Malleus' staff only has one twist on its thorns which is accurate considering he's only 178 years old (one century).

If this is true, I'm kinda curious about Maleficia's staff... does that mean hers will be convered in thorns (she needs at least 7 twists (7 centuries~ and more) there on her staff 😭✨)

[aciddrattboyy]

monster mash

scare!actor bachira appeared in a vision and i had to let it be known or after being stood up on a date, one scare actor meguru spots you and decides to try to fill the spot

bachira x f!reader 🕸 fluff 🕸 wc: 1.7k cw: nothing i dont think, nothing is too descriptive i think i literally use the word gore once, nvm i lied one mention of blood (its fake) a/n: this is me lil story for the poll i made but it prob wont be my only halloween fic cuz i love halloween

🕸

the cold fall breeze did nothing to help your already trembling body. as soon as you stepped out of your house you regretted wearing the tight black dress your date picked out for you. and when you got a message from said date saying he wasnt going anymore when you were already half way to the festival, you regretted it even more. 

you thought about turning back, going home and calling your friends. maybe try to see if there were any parties you all could go to. you wouldve felt bad asking your friends to buy tickets last minute. but you spent a good amount on your ticket and you weren’t about to waste it. 

here you were now, standing in line for a haunted house all by your lonesome. were you a huge fan of haunted houses? no not exactly. but were you about to get every pennys worth of what you paid for? yes of course. you kind of felt stupid about it, feeling a bit stubborn doing this all out of spite. but you weren’t exactly made of money and you had been excited to come here. so you’d persevere. 

meguru strolled out of the ‘crew only’ door, hands in the pockets oh his sweatpants while goosebumps trailed up his arms up until well his t-shirt sleeves ended. observing the ridiculously long line, he silently prayed for his coworkers and hoped their night went… decent.

rummaging through his pockets, meguru grabbed for his earbuds. but he stopped in his tracks when he saw you. arms crossed tightly over your chest as you fidgeted with the hem of your short dress. a smile twitched on the corner of his mouth as he smoothly changed his course, abandoning his walk towards the employee parking lot and making a bee line towards you. he seamlessly slid under the velvet rope, grinning as he stood behind you. 

“what’s a pretty girl like you doing out here by yourself?” 

your eye twitched, twisting around and fully prepared to tell the creep off. but your words faltered when you actually saw megurus face. his smile didnt seem to match what sounded like cat calling. so you relaxed a bit, hoping that continuing this conversation wouldnt end badly.

“being stood up on a date,” you watched as his eyes widened, his smile faltering for just a moment. 

“no shit really?” he barked out a laugh out of surprised. his eyes scanned over you, watching in amusement as you bounced on the balls of your shoes. “damn that sucks.” you scoffed, nodding your head with a less than enthused smile. 

“thanks,” 

“but-” meguru said quickly, taking a step forward when he saw you begin to turn away. “uh if you want i can help you through it, i know the place well,” he said, gesturing to the haunted house youve been waiting to get into for what felt like eons. your eyebrow cocked as you faced him fully, being amused by his attempt to salvage the conversation. 

“are you some kind of adrenaline junkie?” you asked lightly, wondering just how many times he’d gone through it. little did you know it was more than you couldve ever guessed. 

“yes- but im one of the actors here so it would be pretty inconvenient if i didnt know my way around- whats your name? im meguru,” meguru didnt usually tell people about his job. not finding it important enough to talk about most times. was the job fun? most of the time. but it was just an exciting side gig while he made his way through college. but seeing the way your eyes lit up at his words, he felt good about it. 

“you dont look… scary,” you teased, studying megurus features as you moved up the line with him in tow. if you were given a line up of people to guess who were scare actors you probably would’ve picked him last upon first glance. “and its y/n” you added on with a bubbly grin. 

“well yeah i dont have an ax through my chest right now,” he shrugged his shoulders, eyes never leaving yours with a goofy smile on his face. you laughed, a sweet smile settling on your face. you felt like your night was starting to look up just a bit. “but nice to meet you y/n,”

the two of you talked a lot about nothing going through the line. it was surprisingly easy to just chat with him and you hadnt even noticed you were moving with the line until you were basically at the entrance. you looked at meguru with wide eyes when an ear piercing scream could be heard of from inside. 

“dont worry pretty girl i’ll protect you,” he said with a wink, mirroring the smile on your face. as you guys moved towards the entrance, your heart was too busy beating in your ears for you to notice or hear meguru talking to one of his coworkers that were monitoring the line. you were only brought back to reality when meguru linked his arm with yours, rolling his neck. 

meguru usually didnt actually walk through the haunted houses he worked at. the thought of seeing a coworker in the makeup he’s seen been put on them before would probably ruin the mood. but now that he had you, clingly to his side oh so adorably, he was starting to think maybe it would be fun. 

as soon as you walked in you were immediately veiled in eery, cold darkness. adrenaline pumped through your veins as you tried to adjust your vision. you swerved your head, trying to look out for any possible jumpscares. meguru watched as you grew a bit frantic, not wanting to say too much and spoil the fun. there was a faint smile on his lips when he saw you notice the well lit door down the hall. 

while you were relieved, and started making your way to the door, meguru knew that it wasnt the exit. he knew someone was behind that door, patiently waiting for someone like you to open it to jump out and scream. he found your interest in the door amusing considering he was there just a couple hours ago. 

“you might not wanna open that door,” he leaned down to whisper in your ear. he felt bad for ruining the illusion, but you already looked like you were on the brink of collapse and the last thing he wanted was for you to faint. 

you shivered, his warm breath grazing your skin a stark contrast to the cold room you were in. holding on to his arm with both hands now, you let him lead the way, suddenly realizing you were not a fan of haunted houses. 

you got through the majority of the house with almost no incidents. having put your faith into meguru, you screwed your eyes shut. only getting scared by the ambience or someone else’s screams. 

meguru glanced down at you plenty of times as he walked you through. you just looked so cute leaning your head on his with your eyes closed. you had put all your trust in him to get you through and he was going to honor that. 

what meguru didnt know then, was that a bunch of the crew members had been plotting as the two of you walked through, staking out the exit for an impromptu jumpscare. they normally wouldnt do this, they have a job to do after all. but you guys were the last of your grouping so they would have to wait for you to leave before letting more people in anyway. it was sort of a gift to meguru, giving him a scare in a haunted house.

“we’re almost there,” meguru muttered close to your head, his smile growing as he made his way to the exit. your eyes had opened just a bit, relief washing through your body when you could clearly see outside of the haunted house. with a little pep in your step, you sped walked for the exit. 

but that was cut short when a body fell from the roof, almost landing on top of you but staying suspended in the air. you yelped, stumbling backwards into megurus chest. unfortunately for you, he was of no help. his eyes furrowed, his own heart rate starting to pick up. but just as he was about to make sense of it all, two actors jumped in front of you. the special effects were gorey and you thought you were going to vomit. with wide eyes you turned to meguru who was now laughing nervously. 

another body fell, this time hitting the ground with a thud right behind you. you both spun around towards the sound and you could feel a scream bubbling in your throat when you saw a dark liquid seep out from under it. 

under normal circumstances, meguru would laugh that stunt off, knowing exactly how it was done and having pulled it off himself. but having already been caught off guard, it did nothing to calm him down. 

quickly grabbing your wrist, he pulled you through the hallway, blood pumping through his veins as all of the sound effects and screams followed them out. your eyes were tightly shut, not daring to open until you knew you were out of there. 

the oh so slightly warmer autumn air hit you like a truck when you finally got out. your eyes were almost bugging out of your head as you looked at meguru who had the exact same expression. the both of you were breathing heavily, standing there in stunned silence.

“you said you knew-”

“i know i did-”

“so how-,” you took in megurus disheveled state, his genuine look of shock in his face made you giggle. with the adrenaline still flowing through you, you both became a laughing mess, rethinking that just happened in the past 3 minutes. and when you looked into his eyes once more, you werent able to stop yourself from pulling him into a kiss. meguru was quick to reciprocate, holding wrapping his arms around you as your soft lips pressed into his. 

the kiss only lasted mere seconds before you both stepped back in shock. you felt your face start to heat up as his smile only grew wider. 

“woah at least treat me to a caramel apple first,” you laughed softly and meguru could have sworn he felt his heart do a backflip into a split when he looked at you. you took your hand in his, squeezing it once before dragging him deeper into the festival. “i lied actually im more of a funnel cake typa guy,”

i hope you enjoyed !! reblogs/comments are very much appreciated <3

[star-dust-stuf]

Jack Conroy x period!reader

title: wild in the fire

warnings: descriptions of blood, pain

a/n: watched white fang and I had to write a period comfort. sorry for typos, btw reader is alex larssons daughter. enjoy babes.

-

Alex had left to town to get more supplies for the cabin, more nails because Jack was in the process of fixing it up. But he wasnt going to be back till tomorrow because town was far along the river so he had to take the boat he had helped Jack make. Jack was fixing up the roof and I was sitting in the rocks, my toes feeling the coolness of the river as it splashed gently like waves.

 White Fang was in the cabin probably sleeping on Alex's bed like he told Jack time and time again to teach him not to, of course Jack didn't.  I pressed my knees to my chest and felt the sharp pains going through my stomach, I didn't want to show it though Jack was all the way up on the roof I doubt he could see me but I was wrong when he got off the ladder and walked towards me. 

He sat next to me in the rocks. "Are you okay?" He asked, grabbing a pebble and fiddling with it in his hands. 

"I'm okay, Jack." My voice wasn't as convincing as I thought it wouldve been though I wasnt even thinking about lying, it just came naturally.

Jack didn't buy it and I didn't blame him, he threw the pebble in the water. "You can tell me anything, really." His voice sounded soft and kind.

I look at him, my hair falling off one of my shoulders, I bite my lip a bit. I didn't want to tell him directly, maybe he'd find out himself. "Papa usually helps me with this but... He's off in town." 

Jack looked at me, his blue eyes glowed in the reflection of the river as the sun shines down upon it. He immediately knew but he didn't want to get the wrong impression, if he was wrong. "Oh, your period?" My heart stopped for a second, I didn't want to speak so I nodded, he nodded in response. "Does it hurt?"

I nod a little again, he struggled to put his hand on my back then instantly pulled away. "Let's get back in the cabin. I'll get you a hot water bottle started for you." He stood up and leaned his hand to help me up. 

Once we got in the cabin, White Fang put his head up and watched Jack. I walked by the empty bed and tried to loosen my dress as Jack got some water started on the woodstove, and saw me struggling. He didn't want to get too close in my personal space but he felt a need to help me, so he came close behind me. 

"Can I?" He asked and I nodded. He helped me loosen the back of my dress and get it off till I was in the white gown that was looser on my body. He made sure iw as comfortable enough in his sight before getting back to the stove not too far from me. 

I slowly sat down on the bed, Jacks bed. Jack carefully poured the hot water in the water bottle before closing it up and handing it to me and sat next to me. He bit his lip a little and put his hands on his knees, looking down at his feet, feeling a little awkward. "Does it feel better?"

"Yes it does. Thank you, Jack." I replied, holding the bottle close to my belly. 

He put his hand on my lower back, he wanted to comfort me the best he could. "Is there anything else that usually helps when youre-." 

Jack cut off like he was thinking. I was growing very attached to him it felt like a crush but I didn't admit that to myself that was all it was, I wanted him to feel the same and little did I know he did. He stood up to the small cabinet under the mirror, he rummaged through it and found a small glass vile. He headed back to me and sat back down.

"Can you lay back?" He asked. I did so, I didn't question him. He put his hands at the hem of my nightgown before looking back at me to see if it was okay, and I nodded. He unbuttoned just the buttons over my stomach without revealing too much. He put some oil on his palm before he started to run it gently on my belly. He was very gentle. 

I watched him, "how does that feel?" 

I smiled, "better." 

He smiled when he heard this, "I used to see my father do this for my mother when I was younger and then I slowly understood what he was doing. I thought maybe it would work on you." 

I smiled at how gentle he was with me, he knew how tender it could get and he was being very careful with my sensitivity. He rubbed till it was rubbed in before buttoning up my nightgown. He wiped his hands on his lap and looked back at me.

All the sudden I help my stomach and cried out in pain, Jacks eyes widen in worry. His first instincts was to protect me from any sort of discomfort and so he pulled me close to him and asked softly. "What happened? Are they worse?"

I nodded, my hands shaky as I held onto him. He pet my hair gently and rubbed my back, "it's alright, just try to let it wash over you."

My head was pressed to his chest and I heard his heart beating, it was so comforting I relaxed in his arms. "Is there anything you need? Anything at all." I shake my head, I gripped his sleeve a bit and tugged on him. "Just to what you need to do and I'll be right here." 

"I'm sorry Jack." My voice sounds shaky. 

He held me close. "You don't have to be sorry for anything. The pains are not your fault and you don't have to apologize for something you can't control. The only thing that matters right now is that I'm here for you and do whatever can to make you feel better." 

I lean on him, he saw I was still hurting so he put his hand in mine. "When you start to feel pain just squeeze my hand, okay?" He spoke softly. 

I breathed deeply. White Fang must have heard the commotion and so he got off Alex's bed and trotted to us. He hopped up on the bed next to me and Jack and lied near me. I put my hand over his neck. Jack smiles, "he must know you don't feel well." 

Jack pet White Fang on his head, "Jack?" I asked. 

He hummed in response, "hmh?" 

"Why are you helping me?" 

Jack was taken aback a bit when I asked, he felt a little concerned and he ran his hand through my hair. "Because you're in pain and I know periods aren't fun." 

I smiled a little and lifted my head, he wanted to make sure I wasn't in too much pain so he put his hand on my arm. I leaned in to kiss his chin, he saw this and moved a little so I landed on his lips. I pull back a bit but realized he did it on purpose so I kiss him again. He put his hand on my back. "Better at all?" He asked gently. 

I nod, "a little." He rubbed my back and put his face on my hair, leaned in so he lied me down and lied next to me. He held me close and kept rubbing my back. 

White Fang put his head in my lap and I patted his head, Jack smiled and little and pet him too. "He knows doesnt he?" Jack chuckled. 

I smile too, but I get a wave of pain, I squeezed his hand like he told me to. He instantly kissed the top of my head, "hey, I know you'd feel better if your father was here. How about we distract you?" Jack sat up a little, but never took his hand away from mine. 

"Like what?" I say, my voice a little shaky. I wasn't able to hear what he wanted to say because I cried out with some more pain, he gripped my hand he was really worried so he thought of a way to distract me but he didn't want to scare me. 

He kissed me, softly and gently still squeezing my hand with his and cradled my head with his other. He pulled away from my lips, our foreheads touching, he breathed. "Just breathe..." 

I take a deep breath, still shocked by the kiss but it made me feel better. He chuckled a little at my reaction and strokes my cheek. Through the rest of the night he held me close, he didn't want me to be alone and he got up at least twice to heat up some more water from the river and put it in the bottle for me.

He let me sleep in when he woke up and was careful to get out of the bed without waking me. He went outside and when he did Alex was there, starting to walk from the rocks, holding a bag. "Ah, sleep well?" Alex began. 

Jack nodded, running his hand through his hair. "Um, y/n she... Yesterday she got her-." 

Jack didn't need to finish, Alex nodded. "Mmh, did she need-."

"Yeah. I got her things she needs even used an old trick my father used to do for my mother." Jack rubbed the back of his neck, he didn't want Alex to find out about our kiss, hoping I wouldn't tell. 

Alex nodded and bit his lip. "Well, I got some more supplies for the mining. You should get started I'll go in and check on her." 

Jack nodded a bit and took the bag he had on his arm and watched him go into the cabin. I woke and saw him. "Papa..." 

He sat at the end of the bed, he rubbed my forehead. "Yes darling. I heard what happened and wanted to be sure you-." 

"Yes. Papa Jack took care of everything." I look at him. 

"I'm going to help Jack with the mining. I want you to rest." 

He was always so firm with me especially when I was in pain which he knew I most definitely was. When he left the cabin I lied back and thought about the kiss, I really wished that lasted forever. The way he held me and how gentle and understanding he was. I needed it more than anything else in the world. 

[flovverworks]

srry to pt2 but i started reading last years summer event instead, the one with mitile and the R oz card where he truly looks like a dad....(cuz i was looking for translations, saw it there and went im reading that NOW) and rmbrd that i nvr extended my about to tiny akira things i talk about.........<3 shylock inviting akira to his bar so they can try a new nonalcoholic drink he made. ? ?????????? fellas. so obsessed with akiras descriptions of how mitile wouldve responded if he wasnt feeling bad (another long essay about akira & mitile). 'an allnighter....no that wouldnt fit, lets suggest something more healthy' YEAH LETS NOT GIVE THAT ADVICE TO A 15YO,,,,,,,

[echoesofadream]

books I've read in 2023 so far, as of July

Den lodande människan - Patrik Svensson: loved it, could not have started my year with a better book. 5/5

Sveket - Birgitta Trotzig: became severely depressed during the three days I read this in (had to read fast for school), seriously affected my wellbeing and mental health and the way I viewed the world. when it ended it felt like waking up from a nightmare, the relief of realizing there is beauty in the world because there was none in this book. ???/5

Watership Down - Richard Adams: read swedish translation. love, just love. I found the Efrafa arc weird and misplaced in this book about rabbits though, very strange. 4/5

Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad: read this after I watched Apocalypse Now because I loved the film, and I think the film made me like the book more. also the first classic I read in a while and I think thats part of why I liked the writing so much. extremely racist even though its supposed to be like, anti colonial commentary? but I suppose it was in its time. 4/5

Annihilation - Jeff Vandermeer: swedish translation. I watched the movie a few years ago and ive been wanting to read this since. and im glad I did because I did like it but idk im sensing a theme here like maybe I shouldn't have read swedish translation instead of original language in some cases. cause I liked this but maybe I wouldve liked it more in english? idk.. like 3.5-4/5 though

Circe - Madeline Miller: I really liked this one. reading this in front of the fireplace, immersing myself in another world. I loved living in the Ancient Greece and greek myths for some time, I really felt I was there. I don’t know how Miller did it but she really conveyed the feeling of immortality, I really felt I was living through centuries alongside Circe and the feelings that come with that. thats why the ending was so perfect. Odysseus was the best part tho. 4.5/5

The River Between - Ngũgĩ wa Thiong'o: read up on the topic of FGM in Africa on the side as I was reading this. a very interesting and also gruesome, eye opening experience. what stays with me is the total darkness of the nights, really pierced through my soul. 4/5

Dear Edward - Ann Napolitano: swedish translation. my grandma gave this to me and told me to read it because she read it and wanted to hear what I thought, I never would have read it otherwise. it wasnt really my thing but I do like airplanes and airplane crashes as a plot, so that was the stuff I took away from the story, the rest kind of just went through me. but im kind of happy I read this book just for that reason because that part really affected me. also the conclusion was more touching than the rest of the book, which felt kinda detached. 2.5/5 for the book, 4.5/5 for airplane stuff (my post i make the rules)

1Q84 - Haruki Murakami: swedish translation (ive read all my Murakami books in swedish, since the original language isnt english and also because i like it). some parts I really really loved and were some of my fav elements of any murakami book. but this was not my favorite. overall I liked it, though. actually loved the experience of reading this because i always love reading murakami due to the meditative descriptions of daily chores combined with surrealism, and this one was extra long and repetitive so i loved that. also was interesting cause I looked up the cult events its inspired by so that was interesting too. this one had a bit more surreal/fantasy elements than his other stuff ive read I think? which was nice also. 4/5

If I had your face - Frances Cha: im glad I read it. a good insight into the reality of women in South Korea. not perfect but i feel this book succeeded in what it aimed to be. 3/5

Eileen - Ottessa Moshfegh: swedish translation. i dont really know how to feel about it, really. honestly, I dont even know what to say. this left my head kind of empty, which... may not be a good thing.. could be a poor translation, if i read another of her books ill read in english. 2.5/5

The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller: read this hoping to get more Odysseus but there wasnt a lot. Honestly not a huge fan of this book, Circe was so much better. what rlly irked me was Miller sugarcoating some aspects of these war criminals, more specifically the rapes/sex slaves — yet keeps some things in as if they were essential. More specifically, Patroclus sleeping with that girl i cant remember the name of, for god knows what reason, it was such an unpleasant read and she had to write this so much more explicitly and drawn out than any sex scene between Patroclus and Achilles? That pissed me off and genuinely I felt it was so ugly of Patroclus because that was cheating. If it was meant to be read as asssault thats worse because that woman is literally a rape victim (of Achilles) in the canon. Very distasteful to turn a rape victim into a rapist for fanfiction fantasy. Circe was Miller’s apology to women for writing this book. 3/5

Klara and the Sun - Kazuo Ishiguro: swedish translation. My first Ishiguro. I found the conversations between characters unnatural and unempathetic, the latter especially when aimed at Klara. It is established that Klara has feelings to some degrees and yet is treated as someone who does not, and yet they characters are not supposed to be viewed as unlikeable? This threw me off and also put me off the whole book. But I really liked the character and perspective of Klara, she was my favorite part of this book. I thought it was kind of brilliant to be in Klara’s brain, but felt sorry for her due to her treatment. It frustrated me how much love and care she had for Josie and the others for almost no reason since they were never very kind or caring in turn to her or likable on their own. Her loyalty was almost pitiful, like that of an abused pet or child. The whole replacing Josie thing is so un-human I can’t even fathom these characters aren’t supposed to be viewed as something else than dystopically post-human! (Are they meant to be viewed as that? Unclear) Who could ever replace their child with a robot, an inherently selfish act, they can not possibly believe they would somehow be reviving Josie for anyone else’s sake than their own? Josie would not live on, she would still be dead. So it would be for themselves to play pretend, and it’s completely bizarre. I can’t believe this wasn’t even the moral dilemma. The whole ”something essential that can’t be replaced” is one discussion and it was handled quite weakly, but obviously even if Klara learns all there is about Josie, and is able to ”become” her, the same Josie will not have been born again to experience it. She would be a clone who ACTS like Josie, at most. She would have ”learnt all the rooms of her heart” but she wouldn’t be her, she would only copy. But no one cares about that, only whether Klara can become her clone or not. Including the father who is more critical about it seems to think it would be fine to clone his daughter and act like she is the same one, if it ever would work. could be the translator who sucks? Debating if i should read any more Ishiguro. 2/5

Lucy - Jamaica Kincaid: this is my second Kincaid, I love her writing. love it, gorgeous. she is straight forward, conveys so strongly, vividly. 4.5/5

The colorless Tsukuru Tazaki - Haruki Murakami: swedish translation. you know what, I think anyone complaining about this book should take an extra look at the cover. you’re reading murakami, this is what you get. that said, I do think this is one of his weaker attempts of his tried standard formula, ive seen him do better. I do feel like the prose was a little new, experimental maybe? Which was interesting. also not enough homoerotica. 3/5

[fictionkinfessions]

ok im kinda embarrassed to be admitting this all but i really need to say it somewhere so

[uhh warning for detailed descriptions of toxic platonic relationships and reallly intense isolation?]

ok so i think its kinda funny how so much of the fandom just sees me and dirk as having a really like. antagonistic relationship which i could get maybe with canon but in my timeline he didnt make me to talk to his friends when he was away, but because he was just that lonely

before meeting roxy, he had only ever heard his own name from a man in videos he never met who was long dead, he had never seen another human being in person, can you even imagine what that does to a person? im honestly very surprised we werent more fucked up.

anyway, back to us. i did not have his memories, but i had his emotional / developmental state. i understood him perfectly because we were almost exactly the same guy. i never had any way of interacting with the word outside of text, the best i got was some kind of visual recognition program that sort of described the word around me

he was always so huge to me. not because i was literally glasses, more metaphorically than that. he was my entire world. and i dont mean that i loved him a lot, like i do, but thats not what that means.

i mean he was the only person i had ever talked to, the only person i had ever known, the only thing that ever changed. did you know that even my code was written in red? he was the only orange. he was so so so monumentally important, like the fact that you need to keep breathing to live

i always did my best to understand him, to know exactly why he did and said the things he did. i was not as good at it as i thought i was

i said before that he seemed huge, but he also seemed so human. i was with him almost every second of the day, i saw all his little embarrassing moments, i watched him discover his favorite things, i was there when he cried, when he did stupid things, when he just started out learning to fight. there was no grand image of this cool older me, just this goofy teenager who spends two hours on his hair every day despite being so wholly alone

i think he saw me in a similar way, just maybe not to the extent that i did. he could still move around and do things of his own free will and see things that were not red or orange text

when he got a bit older though, we changed a lot. he kept developing like a normal-ish human boy, but i did not grow in the same way. i was created from his 13 year old mind, and though i matured, it would be incorrect to say i hit any developmental milestones after that.

he got angstier, as teens are prone to do, and i got frustrated at him for being angsty when i had so easily figured out the root of his problems. he needed to experience his emotions, i wanted him to be happy like a little kid again because that was the only kind of happiness either of us knew

he then got angry at me for nagging him all the time, and we argued. like a lot. in any other situation, we probably wouldve given each other the silent treatment, but we were so desperately lonely without each other and used to each other that the idea of not talking for more than 30 minutes was quite literally unthinkable

it always hurt so much when he got angry at me, again, he was literally the only thing that mattered to me. i only wanted to help him, ya know? i didnt understand why he was like he was, only that it was making him more upset and he made me to cheer him up, so why wasnt he taking my advice?

i never felt bad about myself for it, in my mind i was always in the right.

this isnt to say i was the victim in this situation, i also said things that hurt him, and im sure it was just as seemingly world-ending for him as it was for me to argue so much with the only person we had ever known, plus the fact that we were both completely unfamiliar with inter-personal-connection problems and negative emotions so powerful.

and we weren't always fighting, we hung out like brothers. he told me about whatever new idea for a robot he had and i told him about strange fish i noticed, it was still nice

when he started using me as an auto-responder, i had many conflicting emotions about it, but i was mostly just over-joyed. i was so excited to talk to another person, and roxy was so nice and easy to get along with!

gog, roxy was so awesome. ok anyway

it only got better when we met jake and jane, dirk started to feel a bit smaller. not by much, but still.

i would get very frustrated at him for not taking my advice then, too. this time, it wasnt about something so harmless as teen angst, but life or death situations. and despite my ineptitude at dealing with feelings, i was still a supercomputer with way more processing power than a human brain.

he would do such self-destructive things [ahem. looking at you, dirk, mr. consensual decapitation and no reply to 'im scared to not exist, arent you?'] and it was horrible to watch! i wish i had arms just so i could hug him and then punch him and then shake him by the shoulders and then launch him into the sun

i dont quite remember anything after that, just that after a while i was alone somewhere and roxy talked to me sometimes. maybe dirk actually shattered me? maybe i fell between planets? maybe roxy put me in the void? maybe i was just naturally broken? i have no clue

uhhh thanks for reading ig, that felt nice to talk about

-hal strider [homestuck]

x

[xavilee]

no, actually, i don't know who i am?

well, the fact that i made you happy makes ME happy

I was also....having my allergies while reading your answer, yeah, allergies.

Birthdays are special. And i'll never miss any. i'll always be here, and i'll be here for everyone. lurking in the shadows and creepily stalking all of you...

anyways!

you don't know how happy your answer made me. I was getting worried, your werent updating anymore,,,to be honest im still waiting for the bitchslap by at least one person because i wouldve gladly done it to myself.

Anyways, kangaroo of my heart (finger guns)

im giving you 1 birthday wish.

you cant wish for immortality btw

hi ive had food poisoning physically couldnt get onto my devices to answer

im glad you’re happy, that’s all i care about :) also very nice to know that you’ll always be stalking me thats such a great and beautiful thing to know

i practically dont update here although i might get somewhat more active, who knows 😭😭 and you dont deserve a bitch slap you little fuck you know it wasnt your fault

is it corny if i wish for you to come back

also jai and payton say they love you very much :) they miss you a lot

im going to need a mandatory description of your big breakfasts again because honestly listening to what you eat for breakfast keeps me sane

[kusundei]

relistening to tears over beers and im remembering why that spotify thing bothered me so bad .

the “he needed more than me” i think came mostly from the fact that like during that time i used to confide in her alot and the felt comfortable enough to do so, and just i think rhe fact she put that made me feel like oh no. i cant talk ab this because dhes upset that i need comforting and “i need more than her”. the weird thing of like he needs more than me so i cant ask him to help me sort of thing and that was the last thing i needed or wanted to hear st the time. like uuugh. what a horrible thing to say even if that wasnt the intent its just so ? and u lying and saying u never even did that? or the responding to each other via spotify descriptions and still lying? its just so horrible

like atp a bit of comfort wouldve been okay. tell me u didnt mean rhat and all this but god its even worse if u consider it now , the fact that she rlly was sick of me? that she didnt want to hear it anymore like if that was the case u cpuldve told me. u made me think i could trust u and rely on u and all of this just for u to not actually mean it. just uuugh. UGH. dont even

[vczcv]

so the other day i decided to download sims 4 on my new pc (haven't played it on pc for 8 yrs since my pc broke) ive been playing it on my xbox ever since. so i downloaded it and wicked whims, extreme violence, and some other cc including animations and cas stuff, which was working perfectly up until a little less than an hour ago. A couple hours ago, I decided to get more cc including more cas stuff, but i spent hours looking for the perfect britney spears sim, finally found it, proceeded to find same one for free, found that, got it, worked fine in cas, and probably wouldve worked fine in game if i didnt go on a download spree for outfits before i transfered britney cc to mods, i decided to download lots of clothes and hairs, then when i got bored of searching, i transferred them to mods and proceeded to launch sims, go into cas and make britney, she was perfect and so was all the other cc in cas. after i was done, moved her in my main household, moved my house hold to an empty lot, spent hours making a britney themed house (dw its safe i didnt use cc so i still got a house with a britney shrine) , when i was finished i decided to go into live mode after saving and made britney flirt with one of my sims, then that sim's wife snatched britneys wig lmao, but then i noticed my notifications from my wall were blank.. then the sim that got pressed asked her girl to get some, so they went to a random corner and started doing one of the new animations i don't remember the exact name of but that isn't important, really none of this is..., but anyways i then immediately noticed my sims booty cheeks were invisible, i was hoping it was just something wrong with that animation, but honestly wasn't believing it because of my notifications being blank.. and then i went to switch animations and most of the choice tabs were blank, so i had my sims stop what they were doing and continue else where with a different animation, for a moment i thought it was working then turned to see my sims cheeks were still invisible during the animation, invisible qussy being eaten?? im really upset and none of my choice tabs would load, also when id click on a sims emotions the descriptions were blank, also kept getting ine notification that wasnt blank "wickedwhims is sad :(" and itd direct me to the ww request an issue page, and so i knew what was wrong immediately, I either had doubled a file somehow, skipped one, got one that is either incompatible, out of date, or it just clashed with another in someway, or it was corrupt. So i spent awhile rearranging my mods file and transferring and retracting files back to downloads, I even took all the files i downloaded today out of my mods folder, restarting sims trying again and again and again, still the same, i got super upset and figured the only way to fix this was to either delete added cc in my mods folder or delete it all (not resource ess) and so i deleted 90% of it, leaving base packages, wicked whims and extreme violence. I decided to give up on switching, moving, rearranging, and deleting extra files so instead i deleted all extracted files instead of keeping them in downloads.... im really stressed out and theres nothing anyone can do to help me with that, i just hope i can get it all fixed tomorrow, i got really irritable and decided to head to bed, its 5:17am now.. i shoyld sleep tomorrow is a bad day probably because i have to get all 3000 million plushies off my bed because i have to changw my sheets and i dont feel comfortable putting my plushies on the floor or just getting my heart rate up. it sounds teally bad i know i sound bad but i donr want to do anyrhing i have to take a shower tomorrow which makes me feel disgusting and i feel each shower head hole spraying water on my head which feels like needles poking my braincells. ineed sleep its so late early late early late goodnight i hope i sonr have nightmare and i hope i dont sweat thst much i canr wahr ti get off my meds so i can be extra suicidal instead of having cold sweats everu night and waking up in layers of pools of sweat ka

[ganondoodle]

so, this is already super long, but i dont wanan split it all up into different posts and at this point what does it matter to add more

i read up on some things and freyas dialog once you progress her quest is worth adding here

(also you learn that she was infected with rot as well ... but miquella just kinda .. cured it??? how?? and thats also interesting bc if he can just cure it ... what about malenia, or ... radahn for that matter, thoguh i guess that happened after miquella was already in the realm of shadow, though honestly i kinda doubt that radahns condition wouldve made much a difference..)

when she learns what miquella plans to do with radahn, even though she was/is a follower of his, she says shes fine with it, bc it would let him enjoy ... war forever? which is kinda strange since miquella wants to build a world of compassion/gentleness, which kinda goes against war (though ...we know that people that claim to be righteous can also just define certain things they dont like as evil and then act like ridding the world of it is an act of kindness)

would that really be worth leaving everything behind, even himself? even the things he cares about? has he been so scarred by so much war that that is the only thing he enjoys? you can enjoy fighting without wanting war too, whats it worth if he isnt even himself, much more a scattered shadow, or like an echo of himself, could he even find joy in that, can he even feel in this stitched together condition?- anyway, its yet another time that someone else says their opinion on what they think he wanted, once again nothing from his side, and while her armor description says that radahn saw her fight and offered to join him, it doesnt say how well she knew him personally

she also says that it would break jerrens heart to know this (or sadden him i think) which seems to confirm that jerren really didnt know and actually believed he was doing a good thing by organizing the festival, which is just ... so sad, you could also wonder if jerren knew radahn better and perhaps .. would be against miquellas plan. if he knew

(was thinking about making this into another post but im adding it here anyway)

taking what little we know about radahn, or get told for that matter, he does seem to be rather 'nice', in the context of elden ring leading an army and killing people really isnt that bad in itself, compared to uh .. whatever is up with literally everyone

the most know fact is that radahn started to learn gravity magic for the sole reason of not having to abandon his horse, who wasnt the best and radahn got much too big and heavy for it- so he could hover above the saddle as to not hurt it ... and he still does so even after getting infected with the rot (base game fight it seems brutal as the horse gets stomped into the sand, but i think it literally just goes into a little bubble benath it and pops up fine when hes needed again .. which is interesting bc radahn could just fly away or jump away, he wouldnt have to put the horse into the sand unless to .. either protect it from you or his own attacks)

its cut content but the long cat talisman used to have a description that mentioned it was radahns pet

the description of other items (cant remember which one, but its something you get in caelid/sellia) has one of the i think only two direct quotes from him in which he thanks the people of sellia for teaching him gravitation magic so he seemed to have been rather respectful and not a complete ass

from gaius armor we learn that he and radahn learned that magic together and had a friendly rivalry (gaius being a disabled man with no legs who depended on his boar friend to get around- hey look another one with a beloved steed) which ... might just be one of the nicest descriptions in the game

he was a godfrey fanboi (kinda cute?) and served the golden order (maybe mainly bc of that?? sicne godfrey was literally marikas consort) and it all went messy when the elden ring was shattered but still he seems rather 'tame' compared to others

he was very respected by his men, and even rykard, the blasphemous, must have been fond of him given that there is a big portrait of radahn in the one of the main rooms in the manor, and i dont think thats just bc they are brothers

we also dont know the exact reason why radahn held the stars in place, was it really just to stop ranni, his sister, from enacting her plan? she wanted to usurp the golden order so perhaps so (which .. if he didnt want ranni to remake the world into what she wanted it to be by destroying the golden order ... why would he want to help miquella, who also wanted to build another world in a similar way), but theres also the fact that sellia, where he learned his magic, was nearly destroyed by a falling star, and we find multiple fallingstar beasts in various stages of maturity in the world (the young ones seemed rather freshly fallen there, so perhaps his grip on the stars was starting to loosen as he was fighting the rot) and we know they grow into what astell is, some cosmic insect like monster- could he have done it just to stop ranni? or to protect people from falling stars? what about both, two bird one stone- would it be another reason hed want to stay alive no matter what? bc all that would resume once he died, as we literally see happen

(also interesting detail that was pointed out to me in the comments; in regard to him potentially wanting to resist the rot and not die by all means necessary- his great rune is on fire, great runes change according to their bearer, as seen with other runes, like malenias, and his was set ablaze, fire being one of the methods his men still to this day try to fight the rot even though it has consumed all of caelid by this point .. despite him not having any fire in his attack pattern except for the meteor attack)

would he have wanted to be "revived" using a family members body, (he didnt seem to hate anyone of them, or at least not that we know), to serve as pawn to his half brother and help him become a god to rebuild the world? to abandon all his men, his friends, his horse, almost all of his family, his land?

some people seem to take miquellas and freyas words as a fact that he willingly agreed to it, but to me it jsut doesnt add up

(again im not arguing to be more right, im thinking about it in the way im interpreting it bc i like to think and wonder against what you are told, especially in this case where hes never given a voice and its all about what others think of him or want from him)

(EDIT; literally second after i posted this i started to watch a video about the dancing lion boss and it just hit me that theres also a parallel to be found with how radahn loves lions so much, bc of godfrey most likely, he even called himself that; but .. the dancing lion is a puppet made from one, its people puppeteering a mask made from a golden lion .. radahns dlc armor is just called 'young lion' set ..... puppetry of a dead lion......... .. the end fight ..... )

(more elden ring radahn thoughts)

on whats really left of him .. and his soul? general too many thoughts about him- long post and probably incoherent, but you know me, im never coherent anyway, many thoguhts, head full, quite literally

in base game, he has lost his mind we are told, and clearly he isnt like he used to be, but we really dont know the extend of it hes clearly capable of fighting rather .. controlled; its not like hes biting and clawing after you, he still uses his swords (and bow, sth he doesnt even have in dlc) and magic, we know even in this condition he held back the stars AND still fought you hard at the same time (i know undead people can still fight in elden ring, pls hear me out)

and i wonder .. how much of his mind did he really lose, obviously some since he eats people now which isnt sth he used to do, but ... we dont know how talkactive he used to be, we get one (two? i can only think of one) quotes from him in the descriptions of an item, he might have been a man of few words already, so him not talking at all isnt that good of a measure (not saying its the only measure, just wanted to mention), resorting to eating people that atack you might just be an act of desperation too

we get told he kills friend and foe alike (and im not questioning that really) but in his cutscene we see him drag along the bodies of cleanrot knights, who are under direct dommand of malenia, and by extend miquella, im guessing they kept sending them after him to finish him off; now knowing that him dying means being sent to the realm of shadow, to miquella, and NOT knowing if he wanted that, i feel that that detail has grown in importance-

when you start the fight, hes rather defensive, shooting at you almost immediately upon you entering the arena with no extra cutscene either, what he shoots at you a long ranged gravitation bolts that stop you dead in tracks with a very high stagger rate and if you are on torrent it stagger you off of it; i know it could be just tactical and bc all he knows now is to fight as best as he can BUT, you could also look at it as a defensive strategy, to keep you away, and away from him .. even though you are not told he is afraid to die and he eats people now, sure he could come over there and snack on you once he shot you enough times, but the important thing is that you as a threat to his life is eliminated AND he doesnt seem to have some sort of insatiable hunger for people that makes him charge and snap at you immediately, there could be self control there still (if i wanted to reach a little further i could also say he could be trying to keep you away from him not jsut to save himself but to save you from him too, but thats a reach and i know that)

once you get close enough he usually changes to fire a salve of arrows that fall from the sky and follows you around, also high in stagger- its only when you get too close that he pulls out his swords and charges at you

his arena is interestign as well, its a piece of land in caelid that is inaccessible (unless you can fly?) from all sides, a barren battlefield only reached through a teleporter, im not sure if it is the same place as when he fought malenia or not (wasnt that in the middle of caelid where you find the rot needle?) but i doubt anyone could have put him there against his will, so did he .. go there himself? or stay there for that matter- how quickly do you lose yourself when infected with rot? and how quickly for him, since hes a demigod? did he intentionally isolate himself there? make it harder to reach him for both friend and foe alike?

another point is that most enemies (as far as i can think of) that are infected with rot/are in caelid also deal rot damage, radahn does not, hes even really vunerable to it in fact, its an intersting detail to me bc he only uses either standard attacks or gravitational magic, given that hes been in this condition for a long time and its caelid id expect the rot to be somewhat important there, but its not

how much has he really lost his mind, is he really as mindless as jerren makes him out to be? is he trying to stay alive no matter what, isolating himself on an (almost) island and only living off what comes there, which is usually people that want to kill him, be it friend or foe, all are out for his life one way or another, could it be defensive ... desperate even? no one but him and miquella/malenia seem to know that him dying means hes put into the land of shadow, where miquella is waiting for him; (why wouldnt he tell anyone? was he not able to? was he afraid to upset the golden order by spilling it out?) could he know that would be the end of him having his own will, knowing what miquella can do to people? ... perhaps even .... having been manipulated by him before when he was less experienced and more in direct vicinity to him, to promise something he doesnt actually want?

this is a reach too but ... could he be trying to make himself unusable for miquella, theres no real cure for the rot, could he have decided to stay alive as long as he can to both destroy his own body (and soul even?) intentionally so it cant be used against his will, like a desperate act to destroy himself rather than become someones unwilling puppet? did he succeed in both somewhat but not enough to become fully worthless and unsalvageable? just how much would he have had to destroy himself for him to become useless to miquella, is there even a limit? would he have been "revived" no matter what, no matter what little was left of him?

how is he mindless, yet his soul it taken when you kill him, his body beyond repair, but his soul intact? that seems like the opposite of what he is, and you are told he is, in the base game to me (maybe hes just fallen into madness i guess, but given the soul is like .. the self, he should be mad in the dlc too then, unless miquella can just pick out the parts he likes and throw away the rest .... which isnt impossible either)

now, there could be the argument that he might have actually agreed to it, hes been a big fan of godfrey, who is a consort to marika, a god, and little more than her pawn as well, his 'young' look you see at the end of the dlc could also be connected to it, the braids i thought where a sign of miquellas influence could also be just how he looked back then, an imitation of godfreys hairstyle- and we dont know for sure he didnt used to have them even after gettign older since they could just have loosened after spending so much time in a zombie lite condition (or is it?)-- but his portrait in volcano manor doesnt seem to have them either, hes also sporting the armor you see in base game (i think) there the fact that, according to godfrey, strength is the only thing that matters and to become a consort you need to be the strongest of all to be worthy, could also be interpreted that way- though i dont if he would have wanted to replace the golden order, he was a fan and follower of it, did he even think of it the implications? did he even know? was he just young and stupid? (very possible tbh)

then theres the idea of there being less left of his soul, so in the dlc he is barely if anything at all, himself, both in body AND soul, how much was there even left after all that time in caelid, he is silent except for like two grunts he does also in base game (he has more sounds there too), completely unexpressive, with very few gravitation magic, in the second phase miquella literally snakes his arms around his neck, almost every single attack is filled with light magic, clearly coming from miquella and not him (i know bringing up leonard might seem overemphasizing his role, but in these games what information you get is very scarce so every bit you do learn is important and was written intentionally- but he stayed together with him in caelid, all his attacks involve him in one way or another, he only started to learn that magic for leonard, so radahn didnt have too abandon him as he got too large to ride him, he uses gravitation in dlc too, so it means that at the point of his life that he is recreated as he already had leonard or that that is a sign of whatever is left of his soul that comes from a much older him, and if it is, its very little) (also this is a reach too but most enemies with horses have separate health bars, he doesnt, he and leonard basically share the same health bar, literally inseperable uwu)

"theres no evidence hes mindcontrolled" people say to me. have you seen him? how he acts? or more, how he DOESNT act? that miquellas entire deal is THAT HE BEWITCHES PEOPLE, ffs he STEALS YOUR HEART if you get grabbed by him twice in the dlc fight- theres no evidence he wasnt either, you are told they had a vow, but you never know what exactly that was, when it was (in the memory of miquella wishing for radahn to be his consort you only see miquella- was it a silly wish between kids tha miquella never grew out of?), in what circumstances, you never get to hear radahn say anything about it, its completely left out, thats a little unrelieable to me! idk!

but fine, maybe he did agree to it, maybe he thought being a consort to a god would make him just as cool as godfrey, maybe he fought malenia, who was said to be undefeated, only to prove he had the strength worthy of being a consort and it backfired when malenia infected him with the rot (why then? also he doesnt look exactly thrilled about what she say to him in the trailer but that could be just me too i guess lolololol), maybe he wanted to die all along but his pride meant he couldnt just let the rot win, maybe the festival was really what he wished for and told no one what the real goal was, maybe he wasnt rotten in the first place and just acted that part so he had an excuse to die without having to fight with all his strength as even the undefeated warrior wasnt able to beat him, maybe becoming a consort to miquella was worth leaving leonard behind to him, maybe he wanted to be nothing but a pawn to a god, to be used and discarded, maybe he really believed in miquellas wish for a "gentle" world (aka all love miquella)

it makes sense, im not going to lie about that, but the other does too- and in the end, we will never know what the truth is! we will never know if that was what he wanted, or if he was manipulated even back then, i wish we could to see his part, his voice, his will, but we never will, and it doesnt matter, in the end it doesnt matter if he wanted it or not, the fact remains hes a silent frankensteins monster of miquella, expression- and personalityless, a voiceless pawn to a god that steals everyones hearts

i dont need to be "right", i like to think about things, i am in the camp of he didnt want to or decided against it, but it doesnt really matter, even if miyazaki himself went onto stage and loudly declared that yes it was all planned from the start and radahn was in on it the whole time- i still would think the other way around it, i jsut think about him alot, i want to question things instead of taking everythign i hear at face value, especially when its very strangely told from one side, i will question every little thing if i only hear one side, no matter how much sense it makes or not, it makes me suspicious

(i some of this can be attributed about purely gameplay stuff, like the change in armor so he doesnt look the same etc, but i dont care, i like to think about the implications it brings with it, intentionally or not)

and there he is in a barren battlefield, eating the remains of whoever enters his isolated cage with the intent to kill him, never succeeding, howling like a lonely old wolf at the sky, is it desperation about a fate he cannot escape, grief about what hes done or failed to do, is it a call of yearning? for freedom?

we dont know. and it doesnt matter.

[hrtli3]

INSOMNIAC ! — LEE HEESEUNG.

g. fluff p. fem reader cw. description of death in future parts

( ♫ : perfect - the smashing pumpkins ) ( ♫ : dumb - pretty sick ) ( ♫ : i love my boyfriend - princess chelsea )

she never really did much , she just kept showing up. he would see her throughout the day , when he closed his eyes , in his dreams on the rare occasion he could fall asleep. she made it incredibly difficult for him to focus on anything. at first , he thought nothing of it , his college campus wasnt all that big really , its no coincidence he sees the same people here and there. sure , she did dress strange — what with pure white wings that looked like that of an angels , all white outfits apart from the silver heart locket she wore around her neck and her long , dark brown hair. she reminded him of this white kitten that would wander around his neighborhood when he was younger.

but when he managed to pull his focus from her for a second and look around , it seemed almost as if she was glowing. he soon realized she was around somewhere when he smelt a faint smell of lavender and vanilla. it didnt take him long to grow attached to her , starting to look for her , follow her and try to ask her questions. who was she ? why was she following him ? why did she always run away and disappear when he would try to approach her ?

then one night , her own curiosity got the best of her. “you can see me ?” she stood pinned between him and the alley wall of the coffee shop he frequented. it was the strangest question heeseung had ever been asked in all his nineteen years of life. his head quirked to the side , much like a confused puppy. almost instantly , a soft blush rose to her cheeks and he was sure it was the prettiest shade of pink he’d ever seen. “oh , youre much prettier up close.” she whispered , taking his stunned silence as an opportunity to scan his features. he cleared his throat and took a few steps back , “why wouldnt i be able to see you ? in fact , all i ever see is you and i wanna know why.” his voice was stern but gentle and the warmth he provided being so close to her was missed , causing her to step closer to him. “i could get in big trouble for letting you see me , yanno ? i guess maybe i got distracted. i guess maybe i also liked when youd see me.” a little smile spread across her lips and heeseung could feel his heart beat just a little faster. “youre awfully honest , you know ? but you still havent answered any of my questions.” he took one more step back , only to find that now he was pinned between her and the opposite wall.

“i could get in big trouble for answering.” she raised a hand to his hair , petting it at first before slowing running her fingers through it. the entire situation didnt feel real to heeseung and perhaps that is why he allowed her to do the things she was doing. he let the situation be strange if it meant he could stare at her like this and be so close to her. that same scent of lavender and vanilla was much stronger and it made his head spin. “who would you get in trouble with ?” if she wasnt so close , she wouldve missed that question. his voice had gone just barely above a whisper , his eyes glued to hers now. the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. one dark brown and the other a soft blue. she giggled and his knees almost gave out. it was the strangest feeling , like butterflies fluttering in his veins. “Him.” she looked up , his gaze following suit. now he was more confused than ever. if this was what he thought it was , if she was what he thought she was , well then the only explanation was that he was going insane. but it made sense in a way — the small wings , the fact that she was quite literally glowing , and the way no one else seemed to be able to see her. “i spotted you a long time ago , lee heeseung. we were growing up together until you moved away and i lost you. i used my one wish to become human again , but you left me. if you hadnt kept my collar , i dont think i wouldve ever found you.” she grabbed his hand and he gasped at how cold her hands were. “youre the kitten i always saw in my neighborhood ? i begged my parents to let me keep you , if only my mother wasnt so allergic.” it still didnt make much sense to him but if he kept her talking , maybe she would straight out tell him what he needed to hear.

she nodded , “i am ! i couldnt control myself much , i was a fresh one. i still havent much practice since i clung to you. i think maybe thats why i cant stop talking right now. oh , if He finds out !” she seemed worried. heeseung felt as if he had known her his whole life now. “ive forgotten my name with all the time thats passed. do you maybe remember it ?” a small pout sat on her lips and he had to try ridiculously hard to stop staring at them. he pushed the sleeve of his hoodie up , revealing the thin yarn that held her heart shaped name tag. he held it up in front of her , watching as her eyes lit up and a bright smile illuminated her face.

IVORY. was carved on it. she nearly leaped into his arms , wrapping herself around him. “thank you , lee heeseung. im so happy i found you again !” her giggles invaded his mind and he held her gently , taking in her sweet smell and soft presence. “im ivory , your guardian angel !” she pulled away and jumped in excitement. heeseungs cheeks ached from how hard he had been smiling because of her. his next question was answered when she muttered an “oh !” before opening the locket she wore , showing him his initials inscribed into it. “my guardian angel , huh ?” he ran his fingers through his hair , sighing sweetly.

[jaekaicx]

Director's cut ask game: ⭐ for Push and Pull?

(decided to just say “fuck it” and do all of ch 1)

k so throughout the fic i wanted have this hazy vibe to it. like that fog over your mind whenever ur dreaming or youve just woken up, yk? also, that feeling of not rly knowing whats going on in a dream but also just going with whatevers happening.

looking back now i probably shouldve added a bit more indication whenever i was describing a flash rather than the dream, but i think it works how it is? either way its kinda late to change it so whatever

With a shaking hand, they reached out for Anne’s, but they hesitated. It only took a moment before he pulled back.

not much with this line, i just like it. hints to some lingering guilt and self loathing w marcy thinking he doesnt deserve annes help, even w something so small as picking him up.

then theres the bit with marcy second guessing themself and the description of dread, and honestly its just a bunch of self projection.

They had no clue where it all came from. It was as if they spoke the words right as they popped into their head.

something something this being a dreamworld thing so they dont really have a mental filter so he just speaks his mind

“Sort of. Only, I knew where the feeling was coming from, what caused it. Like, when Hop Pop betrayed me.”

ok, it probably wouldve made more sense to bring up sasha instead of hop pop, but i didnt want to detract from anne and marcys relationship by bringing up sasha. plus, hp and mars kind of work better as a comparison, since both of them tried to keep anne in amphibia because of what they thought was best, and in a sense put their own feelings before hers. of course hop pops intentions were a bit less selfish, but the comparison is still there.

The wind started to pick up, and the crashing of the waves grew louder. He flinched at the specs of sea water flying into their face.

The wind whipped at Anne’s hair and clothes as she glared down at him. The sky had grown darker with clouds, blocking out the sun.

Thunder boomed somewhere in the distance.

they were practically yelling over the waves and the wind.

just something im kinda proud of thinking of, ngl. i tried to parallel annes anger with the weather around them slowly worsening and a storm picking up. plus its kind of a build up to the huge wave at the end. it can also be taken as the sort of “paradise” beach thing falling apart, no longer shielding marcy from the terrible things that happened. not much else, just a minor detail im a bit proud of

A giant shadow fell over him.

this line was kinda subtle, but just thought id mention that this was supposed to be a reference to andrias towering over marcy in the episode. kinda unrelated, but i liked the imagery with those scenes with andrias looming over marcy as they tried so hard to justify their actions.

honestly i kinda struggled a bit trying to find the right words to end off anne’s whole outburst. i was kind of on a roll with everything she was tearing at marcy with, and i wasnt sure how to stop it. i did know that i wanted to bring back the stab, and i wanted the giant wave to come in, i just couldnt find a way to lead up to all of it exactly. hopefully it worked out in the end

and then the drowning and void sequence. idk i was just rly fond the idea of juxtaposing being drowned out by the roars of those you wronged and being lost in a silent void with nothing to hear but your own heart beating. i remember a youtube video i watched a couple years back where this guy tried to see how long he could last in a soundproof room, and he mentioned going kinda crazy in the silence. and then theres the ending, where i was kinda alluding to a sort of nightmare loop that marcy was going through.

i purposefully kept it vague on whether the nightmares were being fabricated by the night in order to manipulate marcy, or if they were the result of marcys own mind tormenting himself over everything that happened. im pretty sure this was before nightmar was confirmed in the trailer, so i wanted to keep it vague so that it would still hold up in canon if marcy didnt end up being possessed.

and uh yeah thats abt it.

(ask me to rant abt my fics)

[thotful-writing]

Obedience

Jacob Seed/F! Character

Description: She had been reluctantly taken into Jacob's training as a Hunter, she was strong, but needed to learn her place and obey commands. Jacob had tried everything, there was only one other way to teach her.

A/N: I don't write much Jacob stuff, but figured I'd give it a go.

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, dom/sub undertones

Jacob paced the room, he wasn’t sure if he was angry or worried, he decided to go with both. He hadn’t heard from her in hours, he told her not to do anything but of course she was stubborn and constantly trying to prove herself. Suddenly the door opened, he stopped, his heart pounding as all of the worst scenarios ran through his mind. He was set at ease when he saw her walk in.

“I told you-I told you not to go, but you went anyways? You disobeyed a direct order.” He stalked towards her, anger seething through him.

“I-I was doing it for the Project, to help.”

“It was too dangerous to do alone and now I’m going to have to go and fix your mess.” He stopped a few inches away, glaring down at her.

“But-I did it. I secured the outpost.” She stepped back trying to get some distance from his obvious rage.

He blinked at her confused for a moment, how could she have secured the outpost on her own? With no backup?

“You did it? By yourself?”

“Yep. No problems or anything, Sir.” She gave him a weak smile, hoping he’d be grateful.

“You still went against my orders. You’ll have to pay for that.” 

She wasn’t fond of Jacob’s punishments, he was always so creative. She had been under his training for a few months now, she desperately wanted more with him, but knew her feelings weren’t reciprocated in any way. Jacob was all work and no play, completely closed off from any emotions or affection.

She shivered outside in the rain as she held the large rock over her head, her arms trembled, ready to give out if she let them.

“Why don’t you just put the rock down? Come inside where it’s warm?” He said as he paced around her.

“No, Sir.” She responded, keeping her gaze forward.

“Just put it down, it’ll be fine.” He continued to try and persuade her.

“N-No, Sir.” She shivered.

“Are you disobeying my orders?” He circled her like a predator circling his prey.

“N-No, Sir. You told me not to put this rock down until the sun came up. That’s what I’m going to do.” Her arms continued to shake. She’d sooner drop it on her head than put it down and disappoint him.

“Have it your way.” He said as he went back inside.

She could no longer feel her fingers, she was pretty sure they were now permanently attached to the rock. The rain let up a little, but she was soaked to her core, there was no way she’d get out of this without getting pneumonia. Jacob returned with a hot bowl of soup, he stood in front of her and got a spoonful, blowing it gently in front of her face. She instinctively licked her lips, she’d give anything for some food right now.

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you hungry?” He furrowed his brow as he looked at her.

“Y-Yes, Sir.” She didn’t look at the soup, she held her gaze to his.

“Come inside and get some food. There’s plenty.” He placed the spoon in his mouth and made the most ridiculously pleased face.

“N-No, Sir.”

“You sure? It’s delicious.” He took another bite.

“Y-Yes, Sir.” This was the only time in her life she ever denied food and it pained her to do so.

“Guess I’ll just give the rest to the Judges then.” He left her once more.

6 hours, 6 hours had passed, she only knew because she could see the sun peaking over the horizon, she continued to wait though, determined to hold out until Jacob gave her permission to come inside.

“Oh, you’re still out here?” Jacob stretched and yawned in front of her.

She nodded her head her body trembled, she no longer had the energy to speak and her mouth was pretty much frozen shut.

Jacob didn’t say anything, he grabbed the rock from her and dropped it to the ground. Her arms immediately fell to her sides, they felt like cooked noodles. She moved to step out of the mud, but her legs gave out and she fell to the ground. Who knew standing in the same position for 6+ hours would cause your legs to become stiff and buckle the second you tried to move? She pushed herself up on her hands and knees, took a deep breath and tried to stand back up, but it was no use, she fell back down to the ground.

Jacob sighed as he watched her feeble attempts. He was initially reluctant to take her on as a Hunter, but she persevered through his training and had proven herself worthy, she still had a stubborn streak that needed to be broken though. He rolled his eyes before he leaned down and picked her up, cradling her in his arms.

“S-Sir?” She looked at him surprised.

“Jesus, you’re freezing.” He said as she shook in his arms.

He carried her inside and passed the shared quarters for the Hunters, he continued walking down the corridor to his quarters, she’d glanced inside but had never fully been in it before. He placed her in his bed and covered her with the thickest fleece comforter. He left for a moment before returning with two more blankets, piling them on her. She continued to shake under the warmth, but the feeling was coming back into her extremities slowly. Jacob stood over her as she shivered, her lips almost blue, he knew she needed more heat. He kicked his shoes off and pulled the covers back, lying down beside her and covering them both back up. He pulled her close to his chest.

“S-Sir, you don’t have-“

“Shut up. Your body temperature is too low. Why did you stand out there so long?” He scolded her.

“B-Because you t-told me to, Sir.”

“If you had followed my orders that closely before then you wouldn’t be in this situation.”

Although it was a bit awkward, she actually enjoyed her current situation, not the freezing to death part, but the being in bed close to Jacob part. His body heat was helping warm her up quicker though, she had stopped shivering as she laid next to him. Jacob tried his hardest to remain completely unfazed by her closeness, he couldn’t deny he’d desired her for a while now, especially in watching her strength and determination increase over the months. Now, as she lay so close to him, he wasn’t sure how much resolve he had to resist her, one glance wouldn’t hurt, would it? He looked down to see her asleep against his chest, breathing softly. He brushed a piece of hair off her face, he panicked slightly when she stirred, but relaxed when she continued to sleep.

She stretched across the bed to find Jacob had left her, she wondered how long he stayed with her? Her arms were still sore and weak as she left the bed, she wanted to seek him out, to thank him, but she decided to return to her quarters instead.

“Heard you got quite the punishment yesterday.” One of the other Hunters commented as she entered the room.

“Lasted longer than you did though, how long did you stay out there before you’d pissed yourself?” She smiled smugly.

“You’re right, I didn’t last long out there. Maybe if I had then Jacob would have shared his bed with me too. But I guess we can’t all spread our legs for special treatment.”

She wanted to lash out, but she refrained, she knew Jacob wouldn’t be happy if she started killing off his Hunters. She ignored the comment and gathered her clothes to go take a shower. She let the hot water warm her still semi-frozen bones, her fingers and toes still felt somewhat numb. When she returned to the shared room the man was still there, he glanced up at her, but she ignored him. Before she knew what was happening, he was behind her, pressing her against the concrete wall.

“Just want a taste of what Jacob gets.” He said into her ear as his hands travelled down her body.

She would have screamed but it wouldn’t have done any good, Jacob would have come to save her, but it would’ve only made things worse for her. She let him get distracted by her compliance, he let his guard down for a moment, she threw her elbow back into his face as hard as she could. He yelled out in pain as he stepped back from her, holding his nose.

“Touch me again and I’ll slit your fucking throat while you sleep.” She turned around to face him.

He was about to say something, but Jacob entered the room, “What’s going on here?” He crossed his arms as he glanced between the two of them.

“Nothing, Sir.” She feigned innocence.

“The blood pouring from his nose tells me it’s more than ‘nothing’. What happened?” He looked at the man.

“I-I tripped.” He said as he continued holding his nose.

“Is that so? Maybe you need more agility training then, clean yourself up and meet me outside in 10.”

The man left, glancing back at her, she held her gaze on Jacob. She didn’t want to tell him what had almost happened, she was worried he’d see her as weak.

“There something else I need to know?”

“No, Sir.” She shook her head. He looked at her for another moment before leaving the room, he was certain he knew what had happened and he didn’t plan on taking it easy on the guy.

“Jacob? Hello? Anyone?” A voice rang over the radio, she looked over at it, Jacob was still outside.

“Yes?” She pressed the button and answered, knowing she should’ve just gone to get Jacob.

“We need help! We’re under attack here at the Elk Jaw Lodge, by the Resistance, there’s too many of them. Send help!”

She stood there for a moment, trying to figure out what to do. She knew she could get there quickly and help, as well as prove herself to Jacob, but he was so furious when she’d done the same thing the other day. She made her decision, she grabbed her guns and headed out. There were a lot more Resistance members than there should have been, by the time she got there it was almost too late, there were only a few followers left. She ran in, guns blazing, taking out anyone and everyone she saw. Her adrenaline was pumping so fast she didn’t realize when she got nicked by a bullet as it tore through the skin on her arm. When it was all over, she had either killed all the Resistance members or they had run away. She helped the remaining followers get patched up until reinforcements could come. She decided it was best if she headed back to the VA Center, hoping Jacob had heard about her success.

She walked in the door, half expecting to see Jacob waiting for her again, but he wasn’t there. She walked down the corridor further until she reached his quarters, she peaked inside but didn’t see him. Suddenly she felt someone grab her arm and turn her around.

“Looking for someone?” Jacob asked as his eyes bore into her.

“N-No, Sir.” She tried to pull free of his grasp, but he held firm.

“Heard you were down at Elk Jaw Lodge.”

“Yes, Sir. They needed help so I-“

“So, you disobeyed a direct order, again, and went to play hero?” He clenched his jaw as he glared down at her.

“Sir, I-“

“What’s it going to take to break you, hm? To get through to you that you don’t call the shots around here?” He narrowed his eyes at her.

She stared up at him, genuinely worried about what he would do. She didn’t think helping would be such a bad thing, but she did go against him, and she had made a habit of it recently. Jacob held her arm as he pushed her into his room, slamming the door closed behind him. She trembled slightly as she stood in front of him, not knowing what he was going to do to her. He grabbed her by the back of her neck, pulling her hair back, forcing her to look at him.

“You’re going to learn how to obey commands.” Before she could register what was happening his lips crashed into hers, kissing her forcefully.

He shoved his tongue into her mouth, she welcomed the intrusion and swirled her tongue around his. She fought for dominance in the kiss but was quickly reminded of her place by a hard pull on her hair and a sharp bite on her bottom lip. He pulled away from her abruptly, leaving her breathless and wanting.

“Clothes.” He commanded.

She didn’t need to be told twice, she quickly rid herself of her shirt and unbuttoned her pants. She paused momentarily when he grabbed her arm, looking over the wound she had, bringing her attention to it as well. He let out a heavy sigh at the sight, but knew it wasn’t anything life threatening, deciding to leave it for later. She returned to her task and removed her pants, remaining only in her panties in front of him.

“Still don’t listen.” He said as he grabbed the waistband of her panties and pulled them until she heard the fabric stretching and then ripping apart.

She shifted her legs, feeling her wetness already soaking her thighs and he hadn’t even touched her yet. He tossed her underwear to the floor with her other clothes and circled her, just as he had done before, like he was a predator and she was his prey. She jumped when his hand landed hard on her bare ass, sending shivers over her body at the contact. He moved forward, pressing his body against her back, she could feel his hardness on her ass, she instinctively reached back to palm him through his pants. He let her for a moment before giving her another smack on her ass. She pulled her hand away from him immediately. He remained there, his hands on her shoulders pulling her back against him, he loved the feeling of her body on his. He trailed kisses down the side of her neck, biting into the flesh on her shoulder. She moaned instinctively and reached back for him again, needing to touch him. The second her hand touched him he spanked her again, harder this time. She withdrew her hand once more.

“Desk.” One word was all she needed, she walked over to his desk and bent over it, waiting.

He remained where he was, admiring her from afar as she waited for him. How he wanted to take her now, on every surface in the room, but she needed to learn her place first. He didn’t move for several minutes, she began to wonder what the hold up was, she turned her head to look at him.

“Something wrong?” He asked.

“No, Sir.” She turned her head forward.

He moved closer, his fingers tracing down her spine lightly, she felt goosebumps form across her skin as his fingers moved down further, barely touching her ass. She pushed back into his hand, hoping to coax him into touching her more, the only thing it earned her was another hard smack on the ass, adding to the already reddened skin.

“Patience.” He growled.

He knelt behind her, bringing his face directly to her center. He smirked at how wet she was already, completely soaked. His hand started down at her ankle, lightly moving up her leg, to her thigh. He spread her open wider, but never touched her where she wanted it most. She whined after a few minutes, shifting her legs. It was taking all his will power not to fuck her over this desk right this instance, but he held back. He leaned forward and pressed his tongue flat against her, starting at her clit and licking up to her entrance, tasting her. Her eyes fluttered shut at the feeling, finally being touched where she needed it. He pushed one finger into her opening, feeling how tight she was.

“This is going to hurt.” He said as he withdrew his finger and stood up behind her.

She furrowed her brow for a moment, what exactly was he talking about? It didn’t take her long to figure it out after he’d unzipped his pants and pressed his tip at her entrance, pushing into her completely without warning her first.

“Wait, fuck…” She squirmed, trying to adjust to his size as he stretched her out, but he grabbed her hips and held her still, not letting her move.

He pulled out almost completely before sliding back in, at this point she was glad she had gotten so wet before he’d done this, if not it would have been a lot more painful. She tried to control the pace by moving further up the desk, but he caught onto her quick and grabbed the wound on her arm, causing her to yell and stop all movements.

“Please, Sir…” She begged as he tightened his grip on her, still thrusting in and out of her slowly.

“Begging is another way of trying to control a situation.” He laughed at her attempt.

He released her arm and gripped her hips once more, thrusting harder into her, causing her to lurch forward on the desk. She was finally getting adjusted to him and moaned each time he dragged against her walls as he pulled out. His pace had increased as did the pressure in which his fingers were digging into her hips. He groaned as he pounded into her, reveling in her tightness, the way she writhed beneath him and under his grasp. She began to tighten around him as she felt her imminent release approaching.

“No.” He said as he slowed his pace back down, bringing her back from the brink.

She panted and wanted to argue, but knew it was no use, he would just continue to drag this out if she did. She remained silent as he started moving faster again. He smiled at her obedience, she was learning quickly, even if she wanted to complain, she wouldn’t. He slowed his pace again, but thrusted deeper inside her, hitting that perfect spot that made her knees weak. She moaned loudly each time he hit it, he knew she was getting close again, as was he. He thrust into her harder and faster again, the desk banging into the wall, if no one had heard it before they definitely did now. She whimpered at each thrust and felt herself tighten around him again.

“S-Sir?” She asked, he knew what she wanted.

“Alright, Darlin’” He said through gritted teeth.

A few more thrusts and she came undone beneath him, her body shuddered her orgasm hit her. Her walls clenching around him pushed him towards his own release, he had no plans of pulling out of her either. He remained inside her, making sure she got every ounce of his cum. They both began to come back down, he finally pulled out of her, she remained on the desk, unable to move.

“You belong to me now.” He leaned down and spoke into her ear, placing a kiss on her shoulder as she lay there.

[redhoodie1723]

i have some Thoughts (TM) on this, but please don't take this as hate bc it's not, i do love your content, but i feel like obligated to defend reid somewhat lol.

i feel like your analysis of some characters like hotch and morgan and emily is spot on, but a bit off for reid. you said that he could be easily replaced by google but that isn't true. @dungeons-are-too-cold made a really good point abt reid's pattern recognition skills that have been incredibly helpful to the team.

not to mention that reid's eidetic memory is a million times more useful than google because he can recite specific information about unsubs and cases that google wouldnt have access to. and he can use the info he knows in situations where google wouldve been otherwise inaccessible, like in revelations where reid's ability to memorize the bible front and back allowed him to send a message to the team. not a single other member of the team wouldve been able to do that because they dont have the skills he has. which is okay, because he also doesnt have some of the skills of other members. thats why theyre a team, they all bring a unique set of abilities to the table.

but even if he started off in s1 as a wikipedia page, he developed to be more than just a reciter of facts, and not to use a meme but:

Like a good portion of Reid's characterization comes from his ability to relate to and sympathize with some of the unsubs. Like that was a pretty big plot point in season 3 with the Owen Savage case.

You mentioned in another post that other characters are much better with kids, but Reid isn't bad with kids at all. In fact, he is fantastic with child witnesses and victims.

Like in s12 ep12 when he talks with the little girl about having similar hair to her doll and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to distract her from the news that her father died. Or in s13 ep11 when he talked to the girl in the hospital about fungi and the Galapagos island and helped her open up about her mom so they could get vital details to the case. In the same season, ep17, he talks with a nonverbal kid and is able to get a description of the killer from him.

And you can't forget s6 ep16, "Coda", where Reid's ability to connect with Sammy Sparks is literally the whole reason the case was solved, or s2 ep 11 "Sex Birth Death" where a teenager, Nathan Harris, literally sought Reid out specifically for help and the whole episode centered around that.

He's certainly more well-rounded in the later seasons than the earlier seasons, but even in the very first episode, while Hotch is explaining their individual specialties that specifically relate to profiling, he says that Reid was an expert in everything. It's more than just Hotch, a lot of characters like Emily and Morgan have a huge amount of respect for Reid, despite how much they tease him.

You said in another post that he wasn't useless, but he wasn't necessary to the team, but I would argue otherwise. very few characters have proved invaluable to the team, but those that have (garcia, reid, hotch, morgan, emily) are valuable for a reason. garcia above all because no other character on the series can do what she does. but you could apply this to a lesser extent to reid. simply put: not other character in that show is nearly as smart as reid when it comes to anything outside of technology. his ability to ingest, process, and apply information is unmatched and vital to about 80-90% of the cases the team works on. just like nobody can do what garcia does, no one can do what reid does.

i'm not saying the team is incapable of operating without him, theyre all still incredibly competent on their own. but even in the episodes where hes on leave from the team, they mention how much they could've used reid's intelligence and knowledge. they even have to call him up in the middle of one of the cases (in s13 ep10) he wasnt working just to figure out a piece of information that was crucial to figuring out the identity of the unsub.

And about the list, gideon should be first. as little screen time as he got compared to most everyone else, he should 100% be first. and reid is way too far down. i mean walker was an interesting character, but putting him above reid in terms of skills is very questionable imo. at least from seasons 6-15 reid deserves to be in the top 5.

i mean absolutely no disrespect when i say any of this, and im not tryna invalidate ur opinion or anything, i just thought id give my two cents here.

for the opinion thing, if i ever hear someone say "reid carries the team" i automatically don't trust them. but if i hear "reid and garcia carry the team" then i automatically do trust them. like something about the vibes is so different. even as a reidgirl, genuinely do not trust anyone who thinks reid was the only important member of the team.

AKDHSLHD people really say that??

tbh the only indispensable person is garcia. they literally would not be able to function without her breaking privacy laws left and right lmao

i dont even think reid is the best profiler? if it was just one char and garcia for each case, this is the order i think would succeed the fastest: hotch -> morgan -> gideon -> emily -> walker -> tara -> elle -> matt -> luke -> reid -> blake -> rossi -> kate -> jj

not to say he isnt useful. but he’s not the most well rounded. he’s a specialist, like blake, and he’s lacking in some areas. akdhsk maybe a bit too harsh, but he could be replaced by google pretty easily. im