#ty for the excuse to rant abt my fic

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

it might be kinda fun to write an arthurian au where reader is guinevere…….. hhhh this is gonna rot in my brain all day oh no T_T

i am obsessed with this, but i don't think i'm good enough to write this

i went through a brief period of fascination with that period, and i could totally see suguru being lancelot !!! and satoru as arthur??

and guinevere!reader having an affair with lancelot :( there is just something so tasty about a relationship being so intimate it's a secret between two parties, and just the longing to openly express love and affection and being unable to do so...

DW ANONNNN i got you >:3 it has been added to my ever-growing list of wips……

(arthuriana rant under the cut) (<- got carried away)

what i love most abt the arthuriana is the fact that the legends are so old that. it’s basically free real estate??? no interpretation is more right or wrong than any other because there’s barely any actual canon and i think that makes researching it sm fun!! i had a period where i read a bunch of older and more modern arthurian interpretations and i had a blast comparing them and coming to a conclusion about my own take on the legend…. (which i always incorporate a little into my knight aus :33 my overall take on the arthuriana is that knighthood is an unattainable ideal)

ANYWAY I’M GETTING CARRIED AWAY. don’t ask ari abt knights bc they’ll never stfu.

BUT YEAHH lancelot as suguru is so perfect because lancelot is the greatest knight !! and because of that, his sin is also the heaviest. i think it’s a great parallel to suguru’s canonical ”fall from grace” — lancelot loves guinevere and he loves the king and the burden of being the greatest knight crushes him. because knights aren’t allowed to love!! being a knight means surrendering a piece of your own humanity but nobody likes an inhumane knight, so it’s a losing game. (this is explored in both erskine’s galahad and the pearl poet’s gawain and the green knight!!)

i always end up thinking of a line i love from steinbeck’s the acts of king arthur and his noble knights, which is spoken by lancelot himself….. he makes me so sad :((((

sir lancelot looked to the forest's edge, which bore ahead, and he said uneasily, "why should they ask these things? aren’t deeds enough? can you tell me? aren’t deeds enough?”

deeds aren’t enough. being the greatest knight means being a contradiction and it also means that nothing you do will ever be quite enough.

and yeah!! the forbidden love aspect is just so tasty. i think satoru is perfect as king arthur because of the love lancelot holds for guinevere and his king — all three of them love each other and it makes the situation that much more painful. lancelot who can’t help but love guinevere, guinevere who can’t help but love him back, king arthur who has no choice but to execute them when the public finds out. there are lots of arthurian works where king arthur knows about the affair and lets it happen out of love for them both, but then he still has to do what the public demands… and i think that also fits perfectly with satoru in the jjk canon :((( the way he has no choice but to kill suguru for his crimes.

i could say more but it rlly is just the perfect parallel au…. i’ve always wanted to explore the similarities between sorcerers and knights so!! this fic would give me that opportunity :33 sorry for rambling anon, and ty for giving me an excuse to!!

[jaekaicx]

Director's cut ask game: ⭐ for Push and Pull?

(decided to just say “fuck it” and do all of ch 1)

k so throughout the fic i wanted have this hazy vibe to it. like that fog over your mind whenever ur dreaming or youve just woken up, yk? also, that feeling of not rly knowing whats going on in a dream but also just going with whatevers happening.

looking back now i probably shouldve added a bit more indication whenever i was describing a flash rather than the dream, but i think it works how it is? either way its kinda late to change it so whatever

With a shaking hand, they reached out for Anne’s, but they hesitated. It only took a moment before he pulled back.

not much with this line, i just like it. hints to some lingering guilt and self loathing w marcy thinking he doesnt deserve annes help, even w something so small as picking him up.

then theres the bit with marcy second guessing themself and the description of dread, and honestly its just a bunch of self projection.

They had no clue where it all came from. It was as if they spoke the words right as they popped into their head.

something something this being a dreamworld thing so they dont really have a mental filter so he just speaks his mind

“Sort of. Only, I knew where the feeling was coming from, what caused it. Like, when Hop Pop betrayed me.”

ok, it probably wouldve made more sense to bring up sasha instead of hop pop, but i didnt want to detract from anne and marcys relationship by bringing up sasha. plus, hp and mars kind of work better as a comparison, since both of them tried to keep anne in amphibia because of what they thought was best, and in a sense put their own feelings before hers. of course hop pops intentions were a bit less selfish, but the comparison is still there.

The wind started to pick up, and the crashing of the waves grew louder. He flinched at the specs of sea water flying into their face.

The wind whipped at Anne’s hair and clothes as she glared down at him. The sky had grown darker with clouds, blocking out the sun.

Thunder boomed somewhere in the distance.

they were practically yelling over the waves and the wind.

just something im kinda proud of thinking of, ngl. i tried to parallel annes anger with the weather around them slowly worsening and a storm picking up. plus its kind of a build up to the huge wave at the end. it can also be taken as the sort of “paradise” beach thing falling apart, no longer shielding marcy from the terrible things that happened. not much else, just a minor detail im a bit proud of

A giant shadow fell over him.

this line was kinda subtle, but just thought id mention that this was supposed to be a reference to andrias towering over marcy in the episode. kinda unrelated, but i liked the imagery with those scenes with andrias looming over marcy as they tried so hard to justify their actions.

honestly i kinda struggled a bit trying to find the right words to end off anne’s whole outburst. i was kind of on a roll with everything she was tearing at marcy with, and i wasnt sure how to stop it. i did know that i wanted to bring back the stab, and i wanted the giant wave to come in, i just couldnt find a way to lead up to all of it exactly. hopefully it worked out in the end

and then the drowning and void sequence. idk i was just rly fond the idea of juxtaposing being drowned out by the roars of those you wronged and being lost in a silent void with nothing to hear but your own heart beating. i remember a youtube video i watched a couple years back where this guy tried to see how long he could last in a soundproof room, and he mentioned going kinda crazy in the silence. and then theres the ending, where i was kinda alluding to a sort of nightmare loop that marcy was going through.

i purposefully kept it vague on whether the nightmares were being fabricated by the night in order to manipulate marcy, or if they were the result of marcys own mind tormenting himself over everything that happened. im pretty sure this was before nightmar was confirmed in the trailer, so i wanted to keep it vague so that it would still hold up in canon if marcy didnt end up being possessed.

and uh yeah thats abt it.

(ask me to rant abt my fics)