#I WILL NOT FALTER!!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

caprisun89bakerstreet · 24 days ago

Text

How can I be guilty as sin?

Ch.2 - there’s no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk

୨⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯. ༊*·˚‧ੈ₊˚ ೃ࿐ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯୧

Series summary: the 5 times you almost told Obi-Wan about your feelings for him and the 1 time it slipped out

୨⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯. ༊*·˚‧ੈ₊˚ ೃ࿐ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯୧

“Master— it’s just- a scratch-“ Obi-Wan tried to vaguely reassure you both. “Nothing- to worry about—-“ He adds but his eyes are starting to close.

“Obi-Wan no!”

୨⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯. ༊*·˚‧ੈ₊˚ ೃ࿐ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯୧

Pairing: obi-wan kenobi x f!reader

Wordcount: 4,1k

Chapter summary: You're on a mission with your master Plo Koon, Qui Gon Jinn and your fellow padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi who your feelings for are increasing with each mission. But during this one, things go badly. He gets hurt. Badly. Can you do something to prevent him from dying? Or would it cost too much?

Tags: hurt/comfort, obi gets hurt, reader (recklessly) saves him from death, pre phantom menace, angst, you’re both padawans, masters realize you might have feelings for him, forbidden love

Notes: this was so hard but fun to write because i could include both qui gon and plo and they’re some of my fav jedi, it’s not perfect but oh well, i had a plan for it but it went in a completely other direction somehow anyways, enjoy

“Quick, seal the door!” Qui Gon called and you did as he instructed, sealing the door behind you with a slash of your lightsaber.

“Master he’s not here, he isn’t in any of these cells-“ Obi-Wan told him. When you turned around you see him pressing buttons on the control panel. The camera’s flashing through multiple prison cells.

“No, he has to be there!” You say determined and need to see it for yourself so you push past both men and look at the screen. Pressing buttons, desperately trying to find him. He wasn’t there.

“Dank farrik—“ You curse hitting the panel with your fist.

You were on the planet Raxus, protecting civilians from bounty hunters. But it quickly got out of hand the moment you and Obi-Wan decided it would be a good idea to follow them and try to negotiate. It appeared they weren’t interested in negotiations. Not civil ones anyway. Qui Gon and your master Plo had both realized where you’ve both gone fairly quickly. And proceeded to track down your location.

Meanwhile you and Obi-Wan had both overheard some of the bounty hunters about the long missing chief of the village. Which the civilians had known to be lost for 5 years, you recently found out.

“We’ll have to sort this out later, there’s droids incoming—“ Qui Gon warns you both and hear him ignite his saber. And within seconds you hear the familiar hum of your own saber and Obi-Wan’s before the door opens. And once again the room was filled by blasterbolts. Droids continued to enter shooting left and right.

“How did these bounty hunters even manage to get their hands on battle droids?” Obi-Wan questioned out loud as his saber pierced through a droid.

“I mean you could always ask them, the trade federation might just awnser—“ You tease, slashing your saber again .

“Well i don’t think they’d be very cooperative, do you?” He retorted matching your sarcasm as he beheaded another droid.

“Stop bickering you two—“ Qui Gon Jinn said while gutting the last droid. “Now tell me, where is the chief located?”

“Well they never actually told us, master.” You reply retracting your lightsaber and clipping it to your belt, looking at the camera’s again.

“We overheard them saying he’d be in sector 7. We presumed they were talking about the prisoner cells here, but that must’ve been code.” Obi-Wan thought to himself.

“It appears you’re right.” Qui Gon replied.

“Where’s master Plo?” You ask the older Jedi.

“He’s waiting outside. Now come on, let’s see if we can find him.“ Qui Gon tells you and Obi-Wan as you’re already heading out the door. But before leaving he stops you both. “— but let’s use our minds before going into this head first.” He warns you. ‘’Again.”

“Sorry master.” Obi-Wan says. And you look back at him, eyes meeting his.

“We will.” You add after a moment and then Qui Gon nods as the three of you walk out the building.

You had to get back to the ship. That’s the only plan you had as you watched the village go up in flames. How could this have happened? How hadn’t you forseen something as terrible as this? There’s too much going on around you to focus on these thoughts as you deflect blasterbolts firing at you from practicaly every direction. With a furrowed brow you’re trying to stay focused while more battle droids keep coming in.

“Why are they still coming?” You yell not understanding just how many droids they’ve managed to get on their hands without the trade federation or the senate knowing. As far as the Jedi knew.

“Getting tired already?” Obi-Wan teased from a few feet away. Despite the sweat forming between his brow and his endeavors with you earlier, he still had precise movements. If you weren’t being shot at right now you would’ve silently admired his strength. But you quickly forget the thought when a blasterbolt nearly grazes your cheek and brings you back to the present.

“Quick! Get to the ship!” Master Plo called as he managed to get rid of two droids. He was closer to the ship then you were. But he was still only halfway there.

“Easier said then done master!” You called back because there were even more droids incoming from left and right- you were being crammed. If you turned away now, you’d surely get hit. There’s too much blasterfire.

Slowly you, Obi-Wan and Qui Gon retreated back to the ship. But it was terribly slow. And your focus was starting to wear thin, your movements getting less precise, sloppy. You were sweating, blocking less blasterbolts than you needed to to save your energy. Trying to focus on reciprocrating the bolts to get rid of the droids instead of wasting the shots. And you managed to. Until one grazed your left-upper arm. And you wince. “Kriff—“

Obi-Wan called out your name as soon as he heard you. “Are you alright?”

“Yes— I’m fine-“ you reply from a few feet away and continue to block the incoming fire. It hurt terribly. A burning heat was flaring on your left bicep. You were just lucky it wasn’t your right, and you weren’t ready to lose that now.

“We’re almost there!” Qui Gon called from your right. He looked tired too, you realized in a quick glance. This wasn’t going well.

But then you felt a disruption in the Force. A warning. You prepared yourself as anticipation and adrenaline filled you before you could register what was about to happen. You focused on the droids infront of you— worried that there might be another wave of them, or worse, what if those bounty hunters came back? But then you heard a cry out in pain to your left. Your left. Obi-Wan. And your body fills with panic as you see him.

“Obi-Wan!” You yell when you see him crumble to the ground a few feet away from you. And without thinking you rush over to him, barely avoiding two— no three blasterbolts, as you stand infront of him. Jumping over the debris of the city. And you block the shots firing at you when you’re standing infront of obi. Quickly the distance between you two diminishes.

Qui Gon called your name when he saw you recklessly change plans. Because of Obi-Wan. He tried to get closer. He needed to get you both out of here as soon as possible. The droids were closing in on you. And you were losing.

“Obi-Wan talk to me—“ You say your voice worried and insistant. Because if you looked at him right now you’d surely be too distracted to not get hit.

You hear another wince from behind you on the ground. Which only created a pit of worry in your stumach and you risk a glance at him. He was clutching his side.

“I’m fine— it’s fine nothing- to worry about—“ he said with heavy breath which you practically didn’t hear because you were still in the heat of battle. You did catch his last words. Which told you enough about his state, he was anything but fine.

You risk another glance at him but then see his side, he was bleeding. He’d been shot. And you saw too much blood for your liking in that one glimpse. “Qui Gon!” You call for his master, worry filling your voice because you couldn’t do anything to help him while you were still being fired at. But within a few moments that seemingly stretched out for eternity, Qui Gon was at Obi-Wan’s side.

“Master he’s bleeding— really badly—“ You start to panic and Qui Gon can tell.

“I need you to cover for me while i carry him to the ship. We have to hurry.” He says as he tries to carefully lift Obi up in his arms and he winces in pain. Your heart breaks at the sound.

“Yes master. I’m ready.” You respond more confident than you felt right now.

“Now, run!” He gave the signal. But you barely manage to block the firing at you and another bolt grazes your shoulder and you wince.

If you didn’t hold yourself up now, both Qui Gon and Obi-Wan would get shot. And die. You couldn’t let that happen. But the increasing burning sensation in your right shoulder made lifting anything feel like fire was bursting through your veins. And it hurt. It hurt so much. Like the brightest flaming red was the color of your insides and you almost felt yourself getting lightheaded. We’re you going to faint? No. You weren’t. You couldn’t let them die. Not like this. Not them.

“Master—“ You plead your steps slowing down without you wanting to, and Qui Gon seemed to realize just how worn out you were. This was it. He had pushed you both too far. He turned around and stayed behind you as you kept blocking the blasterfire coming your way. Keeping Obi-Wan secure in his arms, head against his shoulder, and his eyes were closed already. He really should’ve been better. For the both of you.

That’s when suddenly droid after droid gets blown to pieces as laserbolts fill the sky and you hear the familiar hum of your ships engines. Matser Plo. He made it to the ship early. And relief fills your body and you send a wave of gratitude through the Force. You knew you were too weak to reach him but it’d be a silent prayer anyway. Because you could really use a miracle right now.

“Come on, hurry!” Qui Gon said as you kept running away, the droids distracted by the new threat You were able to escape. Barely. But Plo managed to get you out there just in time as he flies to the atmosphere.

You still heard blasterfire in the distance as Qui Gon eventually stopped and carefully placed Obi down. He’s still breathing heavily and and whinces uncomfortably.

“Obi-Wan I need you to move your arm.” Qui Gon said because Obi was still clutching his side. As soon as you saw his pained expression you kneel down next to him and reach for his face. Cupping his cheeks in your hands. This couldn’t be it. You wouldn’t let it come that far. His eyes were glazed and he seemed too distant for your liking when you looked into those blue eyes. Which almost seemed to lose more color by the minute.

“Obi come on— i know it hurts- but you have to..” You gently but worriedly encourage him. His eyes flicker up to meet yours and he weakly calls your name.

Qui Gon then removed his arm to reveal the blood covering his chest. Obi grunts in pain and you try to sooth him removing his hair from his face and caressing his cheeks. But he was bleeding. A lot.

“Master— it’s just- a scratch-“ Obi-Wan tried to vaguely reassure you both. “Nothing- to worry about—-“ He adds but his eyes are starting to close.

“Obi-Wan no!” You say, still holding his face and trying to get him to look at you. Panic is coursing through your veins. He was losing conciousness. He wasn’t going to die, you knew that. It was Obi-Wan he’s seen way worse than this. This couldn’t be how he died. You felt worry take over your entire being. Thoughts going haywire as you hold his face. And then you’re on autopilot. You weren’t thinking. You were following your instincts now. The only thought you had was, heal. You needed to heal him. Right now. Even if you didn’t know how- or weren’t able to- and didn’t have the supplies- or abilities— you simply had to. Obi-Wan was losing conciousness. Because he was covered in blood. He was suffering. Obi-Wan was suffering. And you physically couldn’t stand it. So you reach for his tunic to reveal his wound.

Qui Gon noticed you were on autopilot. He couldn’t blame you, it’s not like he wasn’t himself moments earlier when you both ran away from those droids. But there was another kind of determination in you as he saw you cradle Obi-Wan. You were determined in a dangerous way. No, a selfless one. He had seen you grow up being gentle and often timid. But once either master Plo, himself or Obi-Wan were in danger, your whole demeanor changed. You were protective. Not in a selfish way, but a selfless one. You’d do anything to keep them safe. To keep them alive. In the earlier years of you being a padawan this change in you during missions surprised many. And over the years both master Plo and Qui Gon himself started to see more of this determined side of you. Because you were often facing dangers on missions. But one of you getting as severely hurt as Obi-Wan rarely happened. He looked at you now as you got rid of his tunic. You were a healer. Or taking classes, at least. But you weren’t proficient. You were a student. It took great effort, training and discipline to have the ability to heal another’s wounds. Especially ones this deep. But he knew you were talented though, being one of the youngest in class. But your determination might have been stronger than your skills in this moment. Qui Gon knew your healing capability wouldn’t be enough to save him. Not right now.

“He needs medic supplies.” Qui Gon says seeing the way your hands tremble as you reach for Obi’s bleeding chest. And Qui Gon reaches for his comm to send your coordinates to master Plo.

“We don’t have that right now—“ you say, your voice betraying your increasing concern. And you place your hands carefully on his chest, next to the wound bleeding a sickly, gushing red. “Obi hang in there please-“ you whisper a silent prayer and close your eyes. Reaching out to the Force and call on the light you feel starting to spread in your fingertips. Creating that familiar tingling feeling.

“Padawan—“ Qui Gon tries to warn you, seeing your body shaking from adrenaline and exhaustion, and your shoulder still bleeding. But you knew your wounds weren’t as bad as Obi’s.

“Quiet.” You tell him. And stubbornly keep going. Or as you liked to call it, selflessly.

___

After a few moments you hear the ship’s engines as it lands a few feet next to you.

“I need you to help me lift him up carefully-“ Qui Gon tells you and you help him, probably being more careful than you had to be.

Noticing obi’s expression turn pained you feel your stumach twist. And run off to get the medical supplies.

“Padawan, what happened—“ master Plo starts off but when he sees Qui Gon carrying Obi, who’s chest is covered in blood it sinks in. But you had always pushed past your master to get in the ship.

You were on auto pilot. Hands trembling and trying to keep a clear head. You were a Jedi. You were good at saving people. Especially vulnerable ones. It’s what you did. But why did it feel like you were losing grip on it? You were losing control- normally you’re able to help people- stay focused and keep a somewhat clear head as you went out your way to save people. But now? Now you were fueled by adrenaline and worry. Because you couldn’t lose your best friend. Not when he meant so much more.

Rummaging through the ship’s storage bins to get something— anything that might help you start to panic. None of this was gonna work if we didn’t have the supplies— if we didn’t that meant he would still be in pain- hurting- bleeding out— no. You wouldn’t let it come that far. Somehow. You rush back to Obi’s cot with some spare bacta packs. Qui Gon had already cut open his tunic. You rip open the bacta packs but Qui Gon stops you. Quickly stopping your wrist.

“Padawan. It’s too deep to heal from just those.”

“I don’t care—“ You hear yourself saying as you continue.

“Padawan-“

“I’ll do it myself! I’ll heal him!” You say desperate but determined. You had never treaten someone this badly before. You felt awfully unsure about everything right now. And you hated it. Panic started to spiral through your core. How were you gonna do that?

Your hands moved on their own, trying to position them just next to the wound without making Obi-Wan visibly squirm in pain. You’ve never had to heal someone with wounds as bad as this. Let alone someone so close to you. Someone as important as him. Not that you were allowed to think that way, you were a jedi after all. No attachments. And yet, seeing Obi in pain like this made your whole body betray you. You feel as if getting an adrenaline rush from being in the most dangerous situation you’ve ever been. And Qui Gon knows. Yet doesn’t say anything. And doesn’t stop you.

You place your hands on Obi-Wan’s chest, around the wounds and close your eyes. “Come on Obi..” you mutter nervously. Because he can’t die. Not like this. Not today. So you focus on the Force flowing around you, feeling Obi-Wan’s life Force weaken by the moment. Panick starts to rise on your chest again. But then you focus on you. The Force flowing through your body, your veins, your entire being. And you focus on your hands. Feeling a lighter and tingly feeling spread in them. And you let it flow to him. Into his chest. You felt the throbbinh pain in his chest affecting his entire body. Oh no. That’s bad. Really bad. You focus on sending the Force to his most crucial areas. But you even felt your own chest starting hurt. He wasn’t going to make it. Not like this. You needed a miracle. No. You didn’t. You just needed willpower. And determination. Because you weren’t gonna let Obi-Wan die. Your brow started to sweat as you send all your energy through him. Not that you noticed, you were too focused on saving him. Your best friend. Though that term seemed to feel more odd than usual right now. You were in a trance trying to save Obi-Wan. So you send everything through him. All of your energy. Even if it wasn’t enough. You wouldn’t forgive yourself if you didn’t try.

Qui Gon was still sitting next to you. He tried to call your name. Because he saw your trembling hands, furrowed brow, and focused demeanor despite being exhausted. But he also saw the color in your cheeks fade away. You were draining yourself. To a dangerous extent. Qui Gon placed a hand on your arm. But you weren’t noticing any of his attempts to get your attention. Obi-Wan was all that mattered right now. But you felt his force presence slipping away. And Qui Gon could tell Obi’s breathing had slowed down. Too much. And after a few moments he couldn’t tell if he was breathing anymore…

But your breathing started to get heavier, you started to feel lighter, seeing flashes behind your eyelids. You had to save Obi. So you send all of your Life Force to him. All of it. And before you knew it, you didn’t feel your hands trembling anymore. You didn’t hear your own thoughts anymore. And your head hurt. Feeling dizzy. Then there was simply nothing.

Qui Gon was too late to catch you when your head hit the ground as you fell over. You looked pale. Sickly. Drained. Qui Gon placed a hand on your forehead, worried. He tried to call your name, to wake you up. Was this it? Had you finally crossed your limit? When he focused on your force presence he felt nothing. Nothing. His heart sank in his chest. How could he have let this happen? He was supposed to protect Obi-Wan. And you. You were both just padawans. Now he lost both of you. Because of your own selflessness. He rummaged through the medical supplies spread around the floor. Until he heard a whimper. Obi-Wan. His eyes were still closed but he was breathing. Obi-Wan was breathing. When he looked at the wound, it still looked awful. As if nothing happened. But as Qui Gon looked at the deep gash he saw that it wasn’t gushing red anymore. It darkened. It partially healed. The worst part of the wound had closed, you had done it. You saved Obi-Wan. Qui Gon quickly tried to help Obi-Wan with the little supplies left.

Master Plo eventually entered the cabin and his expression fell. He had felt your Force presence starting to weaken when he was still in the cockpit. But when he saw you laying on the floor, motionless, next to an unconscious Obi-Wan who was still covered in blood his entire galaxy shifted for a moment. He had failed. As a master. He kneeled down beside you. You had always been stubborn, pushing yourself to no extent when it came to protecting the ones close to you. Or not. You had always tried to save everyone. No matter the cost of your own well being. And ofcours, when it came to Obi-Wan that willingness tenfolded somehow. Your friendship with him had always been a blessing. Or a curse when it came to you focussing on your jedi teachings. But to see the both of you laying unconscious on the floor deeply wounded your jedi master. And he prayed you would arrive on Lianna as quickly as possible to get enough medical supplies.

---

When Obi-Wan woke, everything hurt. He felt incredibly sore. But made the mistake of shifting in bed when he opened his eyes. Because a pain shot through his chest. What happened? He looked around the room he was in. Not recognizing it. Then it started to get back to him slowly. They were on the battlefield. Wait they were fighting— he quickly tried to look around the room and lean on his elbows to get up but it hurt. But it didn’t matter he needed to know—

“Easy Obi-Wan- lay back down.” Qui Gon’s voice. And a moment later he appeared next to Obi-Wan. Until he realized Qui Gon had been sitting in one of the chairs behind him.

“Master what-“ Obi started with a strained voice but cut himself off when he saw another bed in the room. With you in it. And his eyes widened.

Qui Gon helped him get back in bed carefully. “We made it out. Thanks to you. We’re on the planet Lianna because we were in need of medical supplies. You got shot. It was messy.” Obi-Wan tried to focus on Qui Gon’s words. But all he could do was stare at you. What had happened? He remembered you being fine. You were the one who protected him and got him out-

“Is she alright?” Obi-Wan blurted out worried. And Qui Gon sighed as he sat on the edge of his bed.

“She will be.” He spoke after a moment. And Obi-Wan felt his heart drop.

“What happened? She was okay when-“ Obi asked not caring how his chest hurt every time he used his voice.

“She was. Until you were bleeding out. She healed you. Even though i told her to stop because it was draining her life force. You’re alive because of her.”

“She—-“ Obi-Wan started but didn’t know how to continue. You had saved him? He got hurt so badly you had to save him? How had he been that careless? Because now you were hurt. You were unconcious because of him. Because of his recklessness and inability to stay focused. He felt guilt rising in his chest.

Qui Gon could sense Obi-Wan’s anxiety rising and placed a comforting hand on his arm.

“She’ll be alright Obi-Wan. She just needs rest. As do you.”

“Has she- woken up yet?” Obi-Wan couldn’t help but ask. But he saw Qui Gon shake his head. And an uneasy feeling washed over Obi-Wan.

He didn’t argue when Qui Gon helped him back down in bed. He was too tired to do so anyway. But his gaze was still on you.

“Rest Obi-Wan.” Qui Gon told him again, and left the room. But Obi-Wan stayed awake as he looked at you with a feeling of guilt, worry and something he can’t allow himself to feel. Especially not with you.

He only closed his eyes when his body demanded sleep. But he still dreamed of her. He always does.

And only a few feet away she still lay unconcious in that same room. But even though she seemed to be unreachable, in more ways than one, she was dreaming too. Dreaming of him. She supposed she always would.

70 notes · View notes

windcarvedlyre · 4 months ago

Text

I've been following @druidposting's DR2 playthrough on discord and we just had a really good discussion about DR's Closing Arguments. Specifically the way the murderer is depicted as grey and featureless, which until now I found a bit annoying.

In Danganronpa it's repeatedly the case that we don't have the full picture until the talking actually stops- which always goes beyond the end of the trial. We generally vote first and come to understand what the murderer's actual motive was, sometimes filling in important pieces of the timeline in the process, afterwards.

But none of that matters for the killing game because characters' emotions aren't directly relevant to who was the 'blackened'- the only thing that matters to Monokuma- so it comes out afterwards and does nothing to change their execution. It doesn't matter how sympathetic they are (basically everyone) or whether other people share responsibility for the situation (eg. Hanamura, Pekoyama, Momota) or whether they intended to murder at all (Nanami). They objectively pulled the trigger and nothing else matters. Nothing about them as a person matters.

The Closing Argument mechanic might illustrate that problem- literally. They're a dramatic, conclusive summary of the entire case... constructed before the vote even happens, before we know if we're actually right, and they're missing something really important:

The actual perpetrator.

We quite literally don't even begin to see the real person behind the crime, any real exploration of their mental state, anything besides the cold, hard facts of the murder that are necessary to convict them, until the comic finishes and the protagonist makes their final accusation- replacing the grey figure with their real appearance in a shot that's often intensely emotional.

And these comics lack crucial parts of the case's timeline and sometimes important parts of the very scenes they depict that we only find out about afterwards. And those are what we know; characters may die with some pieces of the truth and prevent us from ever learning them. These aren't objective depictions of the murder, they're the protagonist's subjective attempt to connect the facts they have. A join-the-dots portrait of someone with missing dots and no colour.

Even characters' expressions may not match how they truly feel, with the grey placeholder potentially looking way more confident and sinister than they were in reality. Pasting Falter's commentary here since they put it well.

For obvious reasons this could especially be a problem for characters that die before the trial- the ones we never get a post-vote testimony from. DR1 chapter 4 really highlighted that in the way Asahina's huge misinterpretation of Oogami's feelings took up a lot of the post-trial discussion, only for Monokuma to reveal Oogami's real suicide note and recontextualise everything.

It might really be a problem for how Komaeda's depicted in DR2 chapter 5. While he isn't greyed out, we get panel after panel where he's either level-headed or maniacally evil, and even the depictions of his self-torture and death don't humanise him:

But we know that his real feelings were more complicated than that. We have his actual corpse to compare the last page to.

He died afraid.

If we approach the comic as Hinata's mental image of him instead of reality, he died without anyone truly understanding him. He was alarming, very hard to relate to, actively fought against people doing so, ensured even the killer didn't watch him die, and the survivors couldn't begin to understand his motive until a chapter later. The Closing Argument reflects that.

Early in DR1 Togami calls out the rest of his class for judging others by their own standards. However, he, too, is doing this, maybe more so than many other characters; his inability to view other people through anything but the cold, brutal logic of the killing game bites him in the ass in chapter 4. In DR2 chapter 2 voting without a good understanding of Pekoyama's motive or Kuzuryuu's involvement nearly got everyone killed. Komaeda's a walking embodiment of the problems with flattening people into caricatures and not empathising with them, suffered from people doing that back to him, and his case- the Closing Argument for which turned everyone else into grey placeholders- was impossible to solve with objective facts. It was only survivable because the survivors cooperated and one person tried to analyse things the way he would.

The games have always been a critique of the justice system and Japanese society and push us to care about others as individuals, not reduce them to- and judge their right to exist by- something they've done or their net impact on society. There are always consequences when someone neglects to do that, and the above might be yet another way the games explore that theme.

#danganronpa #dr analysis #komaedology #komaeda #.txt #sorry @ non komaedaheads for making it about komaeda again LMAO #that was not the intention initially he's just... a really good exploration of this #and i think about his expressions in that comic vs his corpse and what we retroactively knew he was dealing with a lot #btw don't send spoilers to falter please!! i'm @ing to credit them- this was a discussion not solely my ideas- but they are not done yet #and aren't reading this post until they're caught up for obvious reasons #this came from discussing ch2 since the incomplete picture people voted with nearly killed them #(btw don't @ me about komaeda's description in the second-last paragraph being an oversimplification; i know :p )#(he has nuance- especially outside of the killing game- but i'm just focusing on the thematically relevant broad strokes here)#(eg. i feel like he demonstrates empathy sometimes but kodaka has said that lack of ability to empathise/be empathised with #is a theme for him- and the ways he's been proactive in the killing game consistently lacked regard for others' feelings/individuality #reducing them to interchangeable Ultimates(TM) instead. it's partly why he self-destructed while everyone else #was able to forgive themself and keep moving forwards imo. your worth being defined rigidly by objective contributions to society #does not mesh well with the idea of rehabilitating people who've destroyed the world before they could even start to improve it #and even if he did give them a chance at surviving he still succumbed to his own ideology in the end #killed himself for 'hope' and to be 'important' like he 'wanted' but died terrified and in pain and alone instead of fulfilled #man i wish 2.5's ending/postnwp canon in general dug into that ;-; )#ANYWAY ty for reading all that. i feel like i rambled a lot in this one. i have a headache now ghdkjsfgdsf

93 notes · View notes