#I WILL BE CRYING MY HEART OUT U KNOW IT
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SAVE ME
#i've taken ONE (1) look at the thumbnail for the new gose episode#and jeonghan's poodle hair has me hands in head right now#I AM SO DISTRAUGHT YOU DONT EVEN KNOW#I WILL BE CRYING MY HEART OUT U KNOW IT#I LOVE HIM AND I HATE HIM#this is what hell is like huh#zararot
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i've seen model steve harrington aus. i've seen child steve harrington aus. i present: child model steve harrington
note: this came from my own desperate need to see this conceptualized and i SWEAR i've searched, i just can't find any content with child model steve so. :(
bc little steve harrington was remarkably cherub-like. his large brown eyes and soft pout ensured endless cooing and fussing from his mom's friends. and when he blushed and ducked his head in shyness, they only complimented him more. when he got home that day, his mom smiled at him.
so steve decided that he would put up with the cheek pinching and the squealing. he sat upright in his chair, sitting on his hands so he wouldn't fidget and ruin the image. because he'd do anything to keep his mom smiling at him. if he was being particularly good that day, she'd let him lay his head on her lap on the drive back home.
but everything changed at his father's birthday gala. a nearly eight year old steve harrington sat prim and proper in his seat, but a smile lit up his face--his cheeks round and his dimples showing up. he raised his hand up to cover his giggle, but he couldn't help but laugh at some silly old man with a loose toupee. then he sees his mom approaching, and his face quickly smooths over, going back to the more polite smile he usually adopted when it came to these events.
he'd ruined it. he hadn't continued being the sweet boy his mom wanted. but then, she smiles at him. and introduces him to the man behind her, who says he's a designer. the man holds out his hand, but when steve puts his hand into his palm, he doesn't shake it. the man simply holds his hand, his eyes scanning steve's face. steve tries not to squirm under the attention. but the man nods and smiles at his mom, and he gives two brief cheek kisses to steve, whispering in his ear "you're going to be a star, darling." steve looks at his mom, confused, but she waves him off to continue talking to the man.
a few months later, steve's mom whisks him off on a trip to france. and steve is so excited to go, nearly vibrating in his seat as the airplane prepares to take off. but instead of the eiffel tower and the seine, steve is taken to a studio. he's posed and changed. once again, he's being fussed over, but instead of wealthy socialites, gossiping make-up artists squeal over him. he's "perfect for the shoot" and "the most darling little boy." steve doesn't understand, but his mom is still smiling, so he lets the nice ladies brush powder over his face.
and he looks in the mirror. his hair is a little more tousled and his lips have a slight tint to them and his eyes seem to take up much of his face. he's put into new clothes, and he feels like a doll in their hands. and when he's put in front of the camera, he simply follows the photographer's directions. afterwards, he's bundled into the car and his mom can't stop gushing about how good he was.
apparently, he's a natural. and then she goes back to fussing over him, focusing more on appearance than his behavior now. but she takes him out shopping and they eat at an upscale restaurant along the champs-elysses. and steve is happy.
and then they go back home, and his mom is so much stricter than before. she has him try out all kinds of different hair products, determined to find the best combination to keep it looking shiny and soft. she controls his food intake and what he wears and makes him use weird creams and serums on his face. but this is what makes his mom happy, so he's happy to let her.
his mom is also on the phone a lot more lately, whispering harshly about the quality of brands and steve just assumes she's being picky about the clothes she buys. later, his mom picks him up and holds him, and asks if he'd like to move to italy. she looks at him intently and it's obvious what answer she wants, so steve nods. she smiles and holds him close, and it's the most loved steve has felt in a while.
so they move to italy, and suddenly steve is a lot more busy. he's put in front of more cameras for more people he doesn't know. but he's smiling and pouting and doing whatever they want him to do. his compliant attitude and polite nature have photographers and designers alike singing his praises, and steve always looks to his mom for approval. but she's been arguing with his dad a lot lately, so she's upset more often than not. but that's okay, the make-up artists are always kind to him.
but then one day, his mom takes a phone call in the middle of the shoot. and when it finishes, she's gone. steve goes back in, close to tears, but the make-up artists still hanging around look after him until a car is sent to pick him up. this becomes a trend. and eventually, steve goes alone to his shoots. he's always taken care of by the crew and someone is always there to pick him up, but it's not fun without his mom there.
but he knows that she's always enjoyed him taking pictures, so he continues to do so, hoping that she'll come watch him again sometime soon. and he busies himself with befriending the chatty make-up artists and the bossy photographers and the eccentric designers. and he's such a cute little thing that they can't help but dote on him.
steve is never catapulted into child stardom, as his mom is picky with his jobs, only choosing luxury brands and well known designers for him. but within the industry, they call him the "little prince."
and then steve is catapulted into puberty, but his intense skin regimen prevents him from getting acne, save for the occasional zit. and his diet and religious exercise schedule help maintain his look. and he's still doing remarkably well, especially now that he's fully aware that he is a Model.
and steve has truly grown into his looks. with time, he's grown more comfortable in front of the camera and made numerous friends. nearly all of them are older than him, but they're fun and loud and it fills up the space that normally surrounds him. and they're the ones who get him hooked on american movies. steve remembers living in america, but he's been in milan so long that everything he recalls is vague.
but he watches them and falls in love with the american high school experience. so when he finally catches his mom off the phone and actually in the house, steve asks if he can go to school in america. and his mom laughs. but steve keeps asking, which devolves into begging. and his mother snaps, slapping him across the face and calling him ungrateful. she cries and begs for forgiveness, cowed into shame by steve's desperate attempt to hold back tears.
and so she lets him go to school in hawkins, indiana. an odd choice, but his parents just so happened to own a property there. (in truth, both of his parents expected him to change his mind within the year). but steve finds his place at hawkins high, because even though nobody in hawkins has ever heard of versace, steve is pretty. he's pretty and charming and he knows the right thing to say. after all, he's spent his whole life perfecting his mask.
and even if his mom ended up moving back home with his dad, leaving steve all alone in that big empty house, steve is happy. he's finally hanging out with people his age and high school is so far removed from the glitz and glam of the fashion industry. and he's settled and content with tommy and carol by his side. while he misses his friends back in milan, steve finds himself longing for the clothes more often. hawkins was certainly the opposite of milan, what with the nearest mall being two hours away and only equipped with a macy's and jcpenny.
through it all, steve is determined to be normal. he laughs along with jokes he doesn't quite get and rolls his eyes at carol's cue, and he joins the swim team. and he joins the basketball team. and he goes to parties and kisses girls and wears dumb little polos with his letterman jacket and does everything that he saw in the movies.
but nancy wheeler is different. steve can't forget his time in italy and who he is and was, and he's reminded of his old life in everyone and everything in hawkins. but not nancy wheeler. she's all hawkins and all his. and then the upside down happens.
and then nancy wheeler breaks his heart.
even after three years, his parents continue to ask when he'll go back to modeling, but he's different now. the upside down and billy hargrove beat that starry eyed little kid who thrived in the spotlight. and nancy wheeler proved that adoration and love is fleeting, so what would even be the point of trying anymore? his dad was a little more approving of steve's retirement/hiatus, saying that steve must want to go to college so he can take over the family business.
but when steve doesn't get into college, he's once again badgered by his mom to go back. but he's grown and changed and he's not sure that he can pretend anymore, so he says no. and they cut him off. enter: scoops era.
the measly scoops salary is not nearly enough to cover all of the new bills and expenses steve has, but he's not willing to leave hawkins. so he reaches out to his friends back in italy, and they refer him to their american connections. steve doesn't model at the same level as before, but he poses for a couple of zines and one artist who got a little too handsy at his exhibition. but he's able to make it through until the mall blows up.
this routine continues and he starts working at family video with robin at his side, but he keeps his side job a secret from the kids, using the excuse of visiting his parents to leave town for his shoots. he's not ashamed, but he knows he wouldn't "be normal" anymore if they found out.
but how does he explain his near mental breakdown at the sight of his healing demobat scars. they're raised and ugly, ruining what should have been a perfect body. and even though he uses scar cream everyday, they refuse to fade away completely. and how could anyone stand to be near such an ugly thing when all his life, steve was meant to be pretty? after all, love and adoration is fleeting.
#steve harrington#give me grace i literally do not know how to verbalize all of my thoughts about this#child model au#imagining them finding out bc jonathan or will was interested in some photography art exhibition and steve is literally the centerpiece#everyone FREAKING OUT#robin knew bc OFC robin knew#steve feeling too self conscious to keep his old ads but he knows his mom keeps a record in her office#dustin screaming crying punching the wall YOUVE BEEN FAMOUS THIS WHOLE TIME... AND DIDNT TELL ME....#mike wheeler feeling ill bc is steve actually kind of cool....#italian steve harrington#because OF COURSE italian steve harrington#eddie munson asking steve if he'd ever consider doing playboy#steve going into a very serious answer about his career projection and actually that's an insult eddie. do u know who i am#and eddie is like yeah ur the centerfold in my heart baby#and then steve gets it#to be so clear. steve's mom DOES love him but she's also extremely selfish#that's why she feels bad when she slaps him and concedes to his request#but once she gets over the initial guilt she's like but he was a STAR i was the mother of a STAR
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Jewel de Paris!! / Ayakaze Sakina Sayonara Show
#takarazuka#yukigumi#ayakaze sakina#asami jun#sakiaasa#jewel de paris#my gifs#god bless whoever decided to air the sfwb adlib i owe u my life#praying one day they air maeraku on sky stage so i can make a gif of that one too#(aasa made a heart at saki and saki made one back)#i posted the jupari gifs before but they fit w the sfwb gif so#idk if i am happy with these colours but i wanted to post it (sfwb gif)#might make some more gifs from the digest but maybe not#who knows#this was the important one (to me)#(though so is aasa handing the flowers over to saki so)#also thank you raku cameraman for all the closeups of aasa/sakiaasa i feel very personally targeted#im not sure if it was an intentional callback or just. them being them. but it was the first thing i thought watching the stream so#very very cute that aasa was the one to initiate it this time#anyway shutting the fuck up before i start crying over sakiaasa in the tags bc no one asked and if i start i will not stop and i will hit t#e tag limit#anyway#shout out to neiro suwa and kasekyou for being very very cute in the back#takarazuka revue#gifs
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They get each other, I'm sobbing.
Stain's love made Toshinori stronger in every sense, y'all. </3
#what stain said was basically a love confession#this to me is toshi accepting himself and stains love deceleration#they got married before stain died yall#theyre canon#DO U GET IT#THE REASON I BARED MY SOUL TO YOU#GET OUT U FAGGOT MY HEART#im crying so much w stains love toshi loves himself too wahhh#hes stronger around stain and more himself#TOSHINORI IS THE TRUEST AND THE BEST VERSION OF HIMSELF WITH STAIN#ouhhh these two kill me#ppl need to know more abt them help#STAIN ALSO SAYING I AM HERE#his fanboy ass has always wanted to say that ik#and he said it to THE MAN HIMSELF#theyre married fsmn#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#toshinori yagi#akaguro chizome#all might#armored all might#stain mha#stainmight
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hi hi evie !!! i hope youre doing swell today !!! remember to take breaks from your booth !! heres a refresher 🤲
hey … nick? hi nick! hope you’re doing great!! im picking myself off the floor right now JSNDNKC so actually this is my 5th attempt at typing a proper response (in total i have probably written about a full scientific report’s amount of info about this and decided it still did not do your ask any justice..)
gif A is me clutching onto this ask sobbing, gif B is me still clutching onto his ask sobbing, gif C is me after my tears flood my house (the ask is safe inside my pocket of course…)
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 cherishing.#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#PLEASE THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER YOU ARE SO VERY KIND TO ME#THANKNYOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THESE …. CAN I PLEASE SAVE IT … ITS JUST SO CUTE IM falling apart im becoming a blob oh my god#MOZE’S FLUFFY EARS IM GONNA START CRYING and also just in general the way u draw his hair 🥹🥹🥹 HES SO SOFT HES SO FLUFFY HHGGRRRRRR HES SO#PERFECT i adore your style in general … to see moze in your style is such a blessing ….. his expression is so darn cute ….. i don’t know#enough words to express myself right now i might have to pull out the ancient 10lb dictionary to crack open some new terms for this BECAUSE#because omg… I AM SO DOG /pos IM SO DOG /very pos I LOVE THIS MUCH HANSNCKCK#my dynamic description was so vague and yet you captured exactly what i was thinking 🥹 PLEASE#im pacing around embarrassingly fast im so happy#i am the riled up dog in question over this#THE WAY HE IS LIKE OVER ME . WAIT STOP PUTTING THAT INTO WORDS IS MAKING ME SO SJSNCJKC#anyways moving on … nick your art style is so awesome … i just said that earlier however#i should say it again for extra emphasis ….. nods nods …..#artists are so cool#artists are so cool oh my god#i keep leaving this draft and coming back to think of other ways to show my gratitude but i really am at a loss#*strangled happy noises and frantic pacing* thank you so much >: from the bottom of my heart sobs >: sobs some more >:#in the evie brain museum (perhaps a room in my brain) this is framed in gold btw
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i will never understand how some people can actively shit on something they know someone loves and finds joy in right in front of them. how can you hate something that makes someone else happy in this absolutely fucked world in front of them.
its the passive aggression for no reason i will never ever understand or do to others. if you have a passion, fucking LIVE it. if nothing else, passion gets us through every shitty day, and i will always support it.
have passion in spite of those who hate.
#its absolutely mind boggling to me#and genuinely makes me so fucjinf upset#i was sitting next to my sister who has been nicer to me than usual as she is talking to her online friend and im doing my nails silently b#its her polish and i didnt wanna take it out of her room. but i look up and shes ranking music genres which is all cool. but without#hesitation as the first one at the most bottom tier she put kpop. like i understand its not her cup of tea but i was like okay thats#something that actively makes me wanna keep living yaknow. and she knows that. so i was like#‘interesting placement for kpop’ and she didnt say anything so i said ‘im not sure youve listened to it enough to have such a violent#opinion on it’ and she immediately got angry saying shes ‘heard enough’ and then got mad at me for saying that saying why was i being ‘like#this what the fuck’ and my heart genuinely sunk into my ass but i couldnt leave even though i felt like crying bc i only did one hand and i#was drying at that moment plus i didn’t wanna make it a big deal. but this is not the first time she’s actively hated on my music without#prompt from me and it just makes me ????? like. music taste differs with everyone i understand this and i respect it. if something brings u#happiness then i would love to hear and listen even if i wouldn’t choose it myself. but being a bitch about it. idk#ultimately its the fact of being mean for no reason over someone else’s passion makes u a fucking asshole#:)))) im not crying bye#ashley rambles#to delete later#my mom and brother do it too btw. hating on it and making sure i hear it.#my mom was doing it the other day and my 7 year old nephew kept saying ‘pook i love it. i think its cool’ and it made me cry because kids#have the capacity for such unaltered kindness as the world has yet been cruel to them#idk man
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Hey there, so sorry to hear about your loss, and sorry that this year has been so hard on you as a whole. I know nothing I can say will make things better, so I’m just popping by out of the void of the internet to offer you the virtual equivalent of a cup of tea (or other beverage of your choice) ☕️
A few summers ago I lost one of my grandparents, and after what had been a very long day a friend of mine gave me a piece of advice that I’ve yet to forget. “Go home”, she said, “And have a nice hot chocolate, or hot honey and lemon drink. It will fix absolutely nothing, but it will taste good, and even on our worst days, that’s worth something.”
That is to say, I know I say to take care all the time, but I double mean it now. Try not to worry about us too much, and take whatever time you need. 💜
And before you say I don’t have to pop in and say this, I know that! I don’t have to, but I want to, and I can, so there. :)
Thank you so much 💜
I admit that this year has been more of a rollercoaster than I would have liked. I had very high hopes in terms of how much I would write, draw, and do, but a lot of that hasn't been possible with all of the complications I'm facing. And I'm just really, really tired of it because, in many ways, it feels like I keep making excuses. That, surely, people must get tired of hearing about all the tragedies in my life that, supposedly, make me unable to post fics or function like a normal human being. Surely it must be exaggerated.
Which is a terrible thing to say to yourself, by the way — I'm well aware of that. But knowing that doesn't quite stop the thoughts from popping up, unfortunately. My brain is trying to find someone to blame for all this shit and, unfortunately, I'm the closest, most convenient target.
So thank you for sending this ask. It might not fix the loss itself, but it's incredibly comforting — and humbling — to know that there are people out there who care enough about me to send me messages like this. It feels surreal, almost, but in a good way? And I'm just so very grateful.
And I'll keep that advice in mind. It's a very good one — and very true. And I'm so sorry for your loss, too. I lost both of my remaining grandparents back in 2022 and it was rough. Losing someone you love always is.
So I try to be as patient with myself as I can. Which right now means spending the majority of my time reading fanfics, most of them from fandoms that I haven't touched in ten years. I guess I might be looking for something familiar and comforting? So yeah. Lots of reading.
But I also think about you all a lot and wish I could post chapters and such, because I know you all love them and the thought of being able to make others happy when I'm sad is... well, it would be pretty nice, you know? I like making other people happy. It's just how I'm wired.
But, that said, I trust you when you say I don't have to worry too much. And I trust that my readers mean it when they tell me to take things easy and put my health first. And that, too, is something I'm very grateful for. The kindness, patience, and support I get from you all truly is mindblowing.
So I won't say that you don't have to tell me all of this and will instead just thank you for doing so. It means a lot to me and did make me feel a lot better. Thank you 💜
#Amethystina Replies#wolfandrain#I really am just binge reading fics right now#And should maybe call in sick from work#Because god knows I'm looking and feeling pretty rough right now#The number of times I've spontaneously burst out crying is unnerving#Because that's very out of character for me#But ah well#Also#I don't think I've ever addressed this#But I see you#Those of you who've started using the purple hearts too#In almost all of our interactions#I don't know if it's a conscious thing for all of you#Or just something that happens subconsciously#But it warms my heart all the same#I see what u did there#U speaking my language#My secrit language
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me after i finished reading legendborn:
EXCUSE ME, TRACY DEONN, WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO PLUCK AT MY HEARTSTRINGS LIKE A FUCKING GUITAR PLAYER??
[gif credit: @shegos]
#WHy isn’t there more hype abt this book on tumblr!?#that was rhetorical don’t answer that. i KNOW why :/#legendborn#no thoughts head full. i want to say so much more!! but#my brain is full of love for bree & garbled kettle noises only atm <33#man… this book is so refreshing & sooo good i’m cryingggg 😭#no fr i did actually tear up at several scenes. miss deonn is an EXCELLENT writer#& gosh that ending…. phenomenal#i picked up this book knowing only that it was abt magic & knew nothing else. it surprised me in a very very pleasant manner#hands down the best book i’ve read this year so far#i mean it has secret societies; magic obviously; centres around a black girl; is a story abt grief; is inspired by the legend of arthur and#merlin; impeccably done research & i’m definitely forgetting smth but — what more could u want???#i kid u not i was at the edge of my seat near the end & kept having to come back bc i kept going over the words so fast. OH the intrigue!!#i was so curious as to how it would all pan out; & that’s not all - i felt butterflies in my stomach (FIRST TIME that’s ever happened :D)#also i was laughing while i was crying but most importantly- the paaaaaaaaain. sharp enough to pierce my heart#id in alt text
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a junkyard dog ain't always pretty but you always love that toothless smile
#i miss tyler bertuzzi#liv in the replies#the absolute way i just got bodied by shake it out coming on as i uploaded the pictures to this post#um. sorry not sorry. the google doc/pdf of the quote that i used for this was literally titled#god fuckin curse the notesapp i wrote two years ago#directly referencing the note i have (pretty sure from when the maple leafs seemed really serious about wanting bert) & i remember#being slammed out of NOWHERE by the sudden thought (because i've been preparing for years for bert to leave) (andreas in feb moe in april)#verbatim: if tyler bertuzzi ever gets traded or retires it's catalog of unabashed gratitude the heart part and i will sob#S T O P#tyler bertuzzi#detroit ride or die#this does actually rival we don't have a future we have a dog for some of these for me which. fuck u past me for being so right about this#things that i need you to know for the narrative: oh dumbstruck is tyler's first nhl game (vs the flyers)#thank you every day is from tyler's hat trick & yes the bruins on knucklehead is intentional because it hurt my feelings#also should note. i'm sorry is from when tyler broke his hand this season & no i'm not okay about the narrative of who is he w/o his hands#yeah yeah yeah. the last five make me want to throw up screaming crying shaking wailing#i made it so much worse by looking at dyl's post#dylan larkin#anthony mantha#andreas athanasiou#catalogue of unabashed gratitude [abridged] - ross gay#my sincerest apologies to fabs i simply could not put him in here he was in we don't have a future we have a dog that was all i could take#should i have abridged the last one to say 'for every day'? yeah probably. did i think of that too late? also probably. wait hang on#ooooookay so i did it so now that tag doesn't make sense but it's fine i also have an alt for dumbstruckand pelican heart :)))))))#what i wish i could've made for u but the pictures don't exist is tyler running down the drive barefoot on the phone the day he got drafted#do you really believe in him? is he a good kid? no problems? you're gonna love him. you're gonna love him.#i'm also fully not even gonna talk to y'all about vrana. i can't do that red string tonight. we're also ignoring sunny#STEVE WHAT FUCKING TEAM ARE WE GONNA HAVE TO PLAY WITH#yes i made this exclusively for me no i don’t care yes i am a lil sorry i love him u’ve heard it all before. dilly i’m kissing ur forehead
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hey god if you've created someone for me can you introduce me to them sooner? i kinda need them now
#like i know i know im sad and hurt but in my heart even the worst breakup friendship or otherwise can kill my hope#like i know this is gods plan for me this is my arc but god it's getting worse and harder everyday#i thought nothing could be worse than yesterday but i hadn't lived today them#then*#i need to talk to someone so bad oh god sl yesterday i had the exam right#and like i don't even know what happened i thought i was going to fail even after giving my 2000% studying#for like 10 hours a day for 15 days for this one exam#and i was panicking and shivering so bad that my heart felt like it would fly out of my chest it was beating so hard#and so fast it didn't even beat like that when i climb too many stairs#and i tried to deep breathe but nothing worked it was so scary like yeah i get stressed sometimes#but this was another level so scary i was nauseous too#and then i clicked submit and i got 82!!!#when i was so sure i was gonna fail because i was only sure about 54 marks answers and the passing was 50#and i got really happy and relieved and then i realized. oh. i don't have anyone to tell#like yeah i told my dad and he was like oh cool ofcourse you did very good#because he doesn't GET it that im not smart anymore and 10th cbse is not an accurate measure of intelligence#he wasn't even happy or surprised he was like well nice obviously#and that's it. i didn't have anyone else to tell#granted i hadn't even told anyone i was giving the exam. i mean i say anyone as if im swimming in friends#only have one. two if u stretch. and i didn't say. cause like idk doesn't really seems like anyone cares#and aah stupid emotional me before the exam i was feeling sad and trying not to panic (??? why??) and CRY in the car because i was thinking#that how my mom always drops me to exam centres and we talk i play music and when im getting out she says all the best beta#and the beta. wow i typed this and immediately have tears in my eyes now. i don't even understand why but#idk i made it up to be a little tradition in my head and i really wanted to call my mom and say mom pls can u say all the best#to me now bc i think ill fuck it up and im really scared and maybe if u give your blessing it'd be okay. but then i thought how embarrassin#it wld be if i failed. bc we don't have any kind of rship my mom and me. and then when she heard i passed from dad she didn't even call me#or anything. thank god i didn't do all that drama but fucking hell. this is all just for me right nobody cares not my parents#and it's too difficult im crumbling under the pressuee but i have to grit my teeth and do it or ill never be able to get out of this house#and i know ill find people when i do get out. but in the meantime. please god ji just one person idc who girl boy friend or love ANYONE#ik it's weak & ik i shld be enough on my own. but pls i just CAN'T.they dont even have to put up with me they just have to care a bit
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Bites drywall. Socializing is SO complicated, my goodness.
#🌸 minminrambles#W;#vent#ish#kinda sorta not really almost etc etc.#But i have been typing to myself for the past. …hour or so. About how much i feel my social life has changed and how I haven’t processed ho#overwhelming it is to have social things… happen to me.#Like. Friendships??? Potential romance??? Close and great friendships???#there are a few goofs from school who I guess I’m hanging out with now??? Me— CEO of getting to class an hour early — choosing to hang#out in the science lounge until five minutes before. It hits me like BRICKS.#And I! Have close online friends! And I’m just forever in awe of it. I don’t know how remotely to express it but I have so much love in my#little heart for them. I go stupid trying to write words and emotes and express things. So I hold back a bit.#And gah. There is this femme I’ve been going butch stupid over— I’ve talked with her for a little while- but only met in person this#Tuesday. And ack. I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feeling. Because I want to be careful and reserved but I also want to push forth#And maybe try asking her out on a more official date / meeting???#I have no idea where I’d take her but. Hm. Maybe I could um. Ask the science goofs. Actually. Hm.#But ack. I want to be so careful with every social thing. And I’m rambling too much again but I’m just. Much love in my heart. And much#stupid in my head <3#Sitting here crying a little over it all.#I have a lot in my heart. And it makes me upset that I can’t quite share it how others can. But! I share in the ways I can. Gah.#Anyway much love to you the reader if u have tolerated my ramblings. BAHAHAHA <3
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watching danerys edits and all i can think about is how cora's story starts and ends where danery's does . danny's very existence is woven into the fabric of time , when all is said and done , coraline is there , waiting for the targaryens that do have that that calling to the iron throne - she's a witness , a built in advisor to warn the future of past because they're so delicately sown in time that repetition is the biggest downfall of the targaryens - she's a leader in her own right , but there's never been a moment where she's truly felt this calling to BE queen ; it's not her ( has she thought about it ? sure , what targaryen doesn't ? but a thought that remains a thought , &. a thought that actually becomes boring ) i truly feel like she lives because of danerys , have i thought this out in full ? not even a little bit . does it feel right , do i feel it in my bones that there is a thought here that i need to run with ? fucking yes . is danerys that bitch ? she is that bitch &. we love her !
#i do feel like she's been silly and chilled on the iron throne tho because oooo sword chair :3c lemme see 'no that's treason?' nooo haha#im just curious im just a little guy a little pookie its not that deep#SFIOHDFHPOSIHDFOISDF#god i neeeddd to continue my got rewatch im dying i truly be dying#i watched a rewrite on youtube and after that i just doomed myself because i know the final seasons are horrific and im scared:( IODHSFPOIH#sansa my baby girl i miss u :(#so i am less fluent in got timeline than hotd because it was hotd that dragged me into thsi fandom by the fucking throat#anyway . cora is doomed by the narrative . haunted . mourned . mocked . and she loves every targaryen so much that she'd rip her heart out#to see their house thrive#like the girl is loyal forever#and i do think towards the end she wants to curl into a ball and cry and throw up#anyway#hi everyone welcome to mtv cribs ( i live in a cardboard box on the streets and i have king landing written in sharpie on it )#OIHOPFIHSDOIFHSODIFHSODIFF#anywa ythsi is me yapping about a part of the fandom idk shit about :3c and im right. im seeing things. i am a dreamer
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nothing breaks my heart more than the realisation that mike was probably one of the most kindest scout leaders the sc ever had.
#out of.#not to cry on main but ... he DESERVED NONE OF THIS#he's actively the first person to tell erwin that sending kids out to fight an expedition straight up is a reckless decision#and shouldnt be happenin#despite their earlier introduction he also had so much respect and always helped levi out ...#he doesnt push erwin to explain his theory even though he knows hes lying to him#the aot constantly has him looking out for u as a new recruit and demanding you stand back#he apologised to levi before erwin did for the day he recruited levi and his friends and i say that earnestly#he takes the time in the middle of a fight to inspire someone else who isnt himself ...#mike was always people > everything else. he had such a strong belief in seeing humanity survive#and thats why survivor mike breaks my heart. bc so little believe in his words in turn.
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and if i say this is so otnwas hijack coded
#u guys i can't take it anymore ...#i've been ripping my hair out and sliding down my bathroom wall to this song while thinking of them#'though i know my heart break i'll tell them put me back in it'#'if i could hold you for a minute darling i'd go through it again'#'i would still be surprised i could find you darling in any life'#HEAVEN IS NOT FIT TO HOUSE A LOVE LIKE YOU AND I .#like r u fucking KIDDING ME ??#i'm gonna explode#its so over.. its SOO over !!!!!!!!!!!!#hijack#mp3#jackshiccup text#otnwas#of the northmost wind and skies#this fic will not leave me alone i cry at the thought of it
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Hiya! I love your writing and ive been following your blog for a couple of years now (2-3 I think) and I just wanted to say how much I appreciate and adore your writing! Thank you so much for all you’ve written! Ive not been on tumblr much the past few months, and I’ve found that many of my favourite writers are leaving and deactivating their accounts, which is such a pity although completely understandable! Tumblr can be a pretty sucky platform for writers unfortunately :/ anyways I just wanted to thank you for your writing, it’s absolutely gorgeous and your style inspirational! I hope you keep writing, on or off tumblr, as you truly have a gorgeous and unique style! Thank you so much for all your contributions and I hope you’re having a lovely day!!
NONNIEEEEE oh my god oh my god hi hello I am going to sob first and foremost so im gonna get all snotty all over this ask wozooqjzlaozo but thank you so much? genuinely genuinely this means more than u can imagine and I aaAAAAA (being off tumblr and on and off writing ((mostly off oop)) really shows via my decline of the eng language clearly HAHAHA I can’t even articulate properly)
THANK U FOR BEING HERE FOR SO LONG?? AND REMEMBERING ME?? AND JUST. IT FEELS LIKE COMING HOME AND THEN SEEING ALL MY OLD FRIENDS AND THE NOSTALGIA IS A LIL NUCLEAR AND IM JUST SO EMOTIONAAAAAAL AAAAAA
Thank YOUUU for being on here and reading and being so so so lovely to me AND ALSO. im gonna go hide in the tags actually but I owe u my life I am kissing all ur fingers nd toes and maybe lips I’m infinitely happy that ur still here after all this time on this platform, I hope u are having the best day (and the best past few years whilst I’ve been mia <333)
#urusai! baka#OH MYGUAIZIAOZOAKZPIAOAOAO#U DONT UNDERSTAND HOW THIS MADE MY DAY MADE MY WEEK MADE MY ??? MONTH#ILYSM GENUINELY SO SO#I CAME TO CRY ABOUT UR LOVELY COMPLIMENTS IN MY TAGS#BECAUSE I COULDNT DO IT OUT IN THE MAIN POST IM#KICKING MY FEET BLUSHING RUNNING LAPS IN MY BEDROOM AND TAKING COLD SHOWERS#thank u so much for just. ur#idek i never know what to say when someone compliments my writing because im simultaneously combusting at the praise and being seen and just#its so !!!!! thank u for recognizing (??? not the right woed for this but) it and im so happy u like it!!!!#I am working on a fic!! 3k in!! it was going strong and then i got distracted by irl axooaz but its a partner fic with rae rae and SHES#BASICALLY DONE HERS SO IM GONNA QORK HARD TO GET BACK INTO MINE#I love writing sm i just waterboard myself with wips a lil hehe#but hopefully i am praying i xan finish smth for once (again finally)#also re: writers leaving— its so sad and i get itttt and I MISS EVEDYONE ON HERE AND TOSAY I ACC JUAT GOT A TIKTOK FROM 2020 HQ AND IT MADE#ME WANT TO CLAW MY FLESH OFF MY BONES AND FEED IT TO A TIME MACHINE SO I CAN LIKE#PERMANENTLY LIVE IN THAT TIMEEEW AAAA ok ok anyways#i love u pls stay and this msg made my heart explode like a supernova#u r near nd dear to my heart everyone from that time is automatically i am latching onto u all#kissing u loving u hoping the past fww yeass have been amazing for u <33333
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U guys this is like super random but they were giving this out as like school lunch today and-..
#i dont even know whats on top of that#like did someone drop it in dirt? i dont know#u guys i live in the us SHIVER ME TIMBERS!#i was laughing my ass off when i saw it like#wtf even is that bruh#area 51 ass food bruh#michelle obama please tell me why#i love u queen but why#also i dropped it AFTER THE FIRST PICTURE#IT ALREADY LOOKed like RHAT BEFORE LMFAOO#my friend saw it and slapped it out of my hand i was crying#my latina heart couldnt take looking at such horrible food#idk if these were carrots or like sweet potatos#honestly it looks like rhey got ts from mars 😭‼️
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