#I WANT TO BE MYSELF ON THE INTERNET
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Artistic rendition of how I felt when I remembered KOSA exists and people are trying to get it passed
Worst thing to be reminded of at 11pm
#artwork#art#drawing#digital art#chaoticart#stop kosa#Flipping my fucking shit right now#Please let everything turn out fine in the end#*PLEASE*#I WANT TO BE MYSELF ON THE INTERNET#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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More photos from my digital camera (7.2 megapixels)
#I’m such a maximalist but I want to be a minimalist in my head#it’s a mental battle where I want everything gone but I need to hoarde it lool#bootleg vintage yugioh chair from 2008 is insane#I hope you are all well#and drinking lots of water#I always say that but I never do it myself#love you all#y2k#y2k aesthetic#y2k style#y2k nostalgia#y2k icons#2000s web#old web#2000s#early 2000s#2000s internet#digital camera photo#digital camera#2000s photography#yugioh#tamagotchi#Ps2
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littlest furth shop
@laikascomet
#i think i had a little too much fun with this lol#i also wanted to draw road boy and other characters but maybe when they actually get introduced#i do have a sketch of him with a lil chainsaw.. im not gonna be normal when he gets introduced man he looks so sillygoofy#if you squint laika's eye marking is a clover yue's is a crescent moon and mars' is a star ^_^#i wanted to give laika an accessory too but i couldnt think of anything.. maybe a stack of pancakes??#im curious to see the apocalypse side of the story too.. like so far we have an idea of the comet fucking everything up#and im assuming that lead to a ripple effect causing the apocalypse but exactly how bad?? i cant wait to find out#rn im kinda piecing stuff together.. larkspur delivers mail in a beat up van so that might mean all transportation is grounded#the buildings we've seen so far are intact like the observatory and turnip's house but idk if thats the same for big cities#laikas playlist only includes songs downloaded on yue's computer and there hasnt been internet in 20 years.. but radio signals might#still work.. if yue grows his own food we can assume that mass production and distribution also isnt a thing anymore#sorry im a sucker for worldbuilding.. and the furth puns are fun to me. i like to think toronto would be clawronto.. and vancouver wld#be nyancouver.. barktic circle.. mewfoundland and labrador.. canyada....#christ i have so many drawing ideas. willow if youre reading this im so sorry youre probably gonna expect to see a lot of drawings frm me#like. i wanna draw laika in the akira bike pose so sosososo bad. IT WOULD BE SO AWESOMECOOL. ill teach myself to draw bikes if i have to#i also wanted to animate laika leekspin.. man#my art#myart#fanart#laika's comet#laikas comet#laika#mars#yue#furry art#fur#littlest pet shop#lps
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yknow what. I wanna say: CSA and COCSA survivors are all incredible, but I also wanna give a shout out to ppl who were exposed to sexual stuff or had any kind of sexual experience as a kid that they either aren't comfortable labelling as or don't consider abuse, but they know it still fucking sucked and shouldnt have happened. Even if that changes later in life and you identify as a victim/surivor, it can be messy to have to imagine those labels applying to the ppl in ur life and that can take time.
The most important thing is to prioritize your recovery + health, and to support other victims + survivors.
#COCSA ment#CSA ment#This is like. V personal and venting (maybe over sharing)#It's. I'm going to be honest recent discussion really brought this back into my brain aaughhh. Not in a bad way necessarily#Just. I know I've had experiences that I think others might label this way and I struggle to really understand that#Beyond the gut feeling of ''it doesnt count'' there's the understand that I might be denying it bc of shame or even just. The fact I have#An internal definition of it that excludes myself. And that I don't want to imagine the other ppl as 'abusive' and I don't think they had#The intent to hurt me. And the fact in one situation I know none of us understood boundaries or consent bc we didn't#Actually talk with adults about what like. Sex and sexuality meant so all out fucking context was porn. And just idk#I have specific experiences but those Memorable Incidents were just part of a larger pattern of me learning Abt sex young#And then failing to get proper sex ed for years. And the internet. And the Fucking Internet#(fanfic is like. Anti sex ed. 70% just the fucking worst shit to internalize 30% ''hey this is actually Okay'')#Sex Ed... Like in school... Needs a fucking HEAVY overhaul but it's still better than nothing usually
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college au
Meryl is NOT the first person Vash visited and Wolfwood has had enough embarrassment for the day
and unofficially wife-d up with paper rings (congratulations!)
Vash holding Wolfwood's hands, realising that it's not as calloused, no, in fact, it's soft. Unharmed. Safe. And he's holding it. Both of his hands are holding it. And those hands are exchanging something as fragile as a paper ring, far off from what they're usually accustomed of holding in the past...
(He's holding Wolfwood's hand, he thinks again. It's soft. He wonders if he deserves to hold them.)
Except it's no longer the past, Vash knows that, and now they're here, the flimsy rings weighing heavy with the promise of tomorrows he could never hope or dream of having before. It's so comical to the point of bringing tears to his eyes.
If anyone had seen him crying that day he's blaming it on the damned ring.
(a.k.a. the college/reincarnation au, "we deserve a soft epilogue" ending I desperately need)
#trigun#trigun stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#vash the stampede#vashwood#meryl stryfe#it actually started from a jealousy prompt but my playlist changes 3 times so and it went from silly to pain#the whole idea actually came from me accidentally calling a 6ft tall fictional man ''my wife'' to peers who are neither chronically online#nor knowledgable in internet lingo and they asked ''so he's a girl?'' in the most careful tone ever I almost want to bury myself undergroun#myuminjiart
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God I wish I actually Tiktokked so I knew who to follow to see what all the influencers who made eleventh-hour confessions of faking their content are doing now
#sometimes i'm messy#i used to read abnormal psych literature#case studies and shit#now i follow social media drama#and tell myself i'm staying current with trends#TO BE HONEST i suspect some of them (like ice cube lady) might be glad for the excuse to stop#because you start thinking the internet is gonna love this thing you love to do#so you post videos of that#and then someone notices a tiny side element of it and it BLOWS UP#and there you are! a ton of new followers who love Tiny Side Element!#and two years later you are ruling Tiny Side Element Tiktok with sponsorships and brand deals#knowing that nobody (relatively speaking) actually cares about your real passion#they don't wanna see their paintings they just want to watch you mix paint (for example)#at which point like#it's not a SOUND BUSINESS DECISION to say 'I fucking hate Tiny Side Element and think you're all crazy'#but goooood I think it must feel tempting sometimes....#(also while Tiktok has many many non-USA users and creators ONLY USA people get the Creator Fund or Tiktok Shop#which I imagine makes a big difference in who posts what)
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ngl if you don't respect non-sharers. Please don't interact with me. If you wanna be a bitch about people putting their own mental health first then BLOCK MEEEE YOU AREN'T WELCOME HEREEEE!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 /gen /srs
#Honestly w/ some f/os I'm close to being nonsharing but I'm a funny case which is why I label myself as selective!! :3#I can see others w/ my f/os but other people I can't. And I think that's okay. If it ever changes: I'll update it.#I also don't mind doubles interacting but part of me also wants them to aknowledge I don't need to interact w/ them /nm#I also have become like besties w/ the block button. I don't get why people always say that your a baby if you use it tbh.#like OOO NOOO it effects you so badly when I hit one button and cultivate my own internet space.#⌞❦ wyrmsom rambles ❦ ⌝
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cringe is dead create a fusion of you and your favorite character
#fishy rambling#im doing this with the dca#i love them#its more of a design thing than anything but boy is it fun#ok actually no its more than a design i actually have a lot of notes on how it would work#but im not gonna share those cuz erm i dont want all my problems on the internet you know#but like oh boy kinda analyzing myself in this its weird but like theraputic#something something projecting onto your fav characters/they are your fave because you actually can kinda relate to them something somethin
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it's time to klance-fy bro movies
#doing digital art is so fun#I know that technically chicken scratch is bad for art improvement and I'm working on it (lies) but for now it is what it is#this is supposed to be a redraw of a scene from a russian 90s movie about the unforgiving time that was in the early post soviet period#and I have Thoughts and Ideas on how to make it into an au#anyway. take this messy sketch before I change my mind about exposing myself on The Internet#voltron#vld#klance#keith kogane#lance mcclain#au#my art#Brother 1997#90s au#voltron legendary defender#also I may or may not have a colored version that I'm not exactly proud of. lmk if someone wants to see that
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Please don't hurt yourself
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#library of ruina#hod#hod lobcorp#hod lobotomy corporation#hod library of ruina#erm... michelle. hii michelle. going to have to spoiler tag for you though baby#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobcorp spoilers#okay i think thats it#no shading because this made me want to KILL YMSELF#it looks fone w out it anyways. yay. thank you filter after effects for saving my ass this . hurt me so muchh to try to finish#nothing specific that had me make this. at least from lobcorp lor. its more of having more empathy towards my past self or when i was young#than me. right now. it feels as if the past is so devoid of my current self yet i know that its Me. its just so distant. to the point where#at times it feels as if the me of the past is devoid of the current me. im told im very empathetic? hard to tell. that im patient and kind#or more of understanding to everyone but Myself. so when i try to be kind to myself it feels impossible. but im able to do it to my past se#which makes a disconnect. please dont hurt youself. please dont hate youself. you dont need to do that. i know you want to live it hurts#i know. its alright to want to live. you dont need to apologize and feel Guilty. but never towards Myself. to console and wish to soothe bu#not to the current self. to pardon and accept but not to this Me. so i wanted to put it down kinda. felt most similar to hod ish.#its guilt for living. apologizing for existing. wanting to be accepted and pardoned. but also forgiving and accepting the self of before#not so much forgiving. forgive is a weird word. the hurt never leaves. and the guilt is there regardless. but. yknow. accept#sorry some random shit. yappin. who gaf abt that guy. who was that guy. anyways. hod <3 HODD!!!#just like to ramble abt what i think abt when i go to make pieces. since i uhh dont really have anyone to tell who would care. so. awkward.#god thats embarrassing actuallt migjt delete if im not lazy asf later. loser oversharing on the internet AHH 💥💥#uhmm back to the actual piece. the proportions and fhe coloring were having me feel like i was dging trying to get it right. almost#considered just gettinf rid of it and scrapping the whole piece. didnt though. wanted to have it done and finished. hod <3#the feeligns described arent what i would relate w hod? but closest chatacter towards the general thougut. so wanfed to draw her#i wanted to do more w ligjting and such as well. but it never ended up getting in. maybe later
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2024 | 2
#an apology for my earlier meltdown#truth is that i hate everything and i want to die#venting doesn't help it just boils over sometimes#i'll go back to isolating myself and hope next time it boils over i don't have internet access#fyozai#bsd fyodor#bsd fyodor dostoevsky#bsd dazai#bsd dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs#bsd
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Happy Birthday to Ferdinand von Aegir!
I actually made 33 emotes, affectionately known as Aegirglyphics to some, for my own personal use on discord. However, I figure why not share some of them! They're free to use for discord servers/icons/pfps or whatever. However, my only request is Do NOT use them as subscriber emotes on Twitch. You can make them free follower emotes but you are not to make them locked behind a paywall.
#fe three houses#ferdinand von aegir#discord emotes#i thought long and hard about this bc idk the actual want for emotes i made ages ago but#i still love my son and its his bday ad so i should be nice and share#since i no longer have nitro and can no longer use them myself#the fact i can technically post 30 at once was tempting but#some of them arent living up to my standards and also just might not be easy to use in most contexts#so those im gonna skip on lol#whoever wants 21 aegirglyphics tho have at em#i think i might have posted some before? but only 10 and i dont recall which ones#if you want a secret the last three and the middle on the second row are my favorites to use#i used concernednand (the upper one) so much#the internet concerns me guys it was a valid use every time#debated sharing heartnand but honestly the world could benefit from it imo because gotta spread that love#fun lil trivia i love making emotes and so when i was in a server and people knew me as the ferdinand fan and artist#someone was like why hasnt salmon made a ferdinand emote yet#and im like bc i dont run the server and i cant just demand they add my art#and then a mod was like i didnt wanna put pressure on salmon but i thought about it so i was like bet#and then drew a server exclusive happy ferdinand emote#and that was the start of me somehow being able to have like.... ten emotes in that server#some of them were just me joking and then mods encouraging me#cause i used to use felix for every single art prompt theyd give and one week someone said the prompt was pog#and i just was so upset because dude why would i wanna draw felix for that hes not pog#so a mod was like hey if you make a pog felix emote we ill add it to the emotes here#so i once again was like bet and then posted it and then they really added it lmao#anyway sorry for so many rambles please feel free to use them on discord in whatever server#i cant really expect everyone to credit me but also im not really concerned since i fear people know my nands a mile away
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Hi if you have a Dropout subscription, you need to watch From Ally to Zacky right now. It is so damn funny.
At one point, I was laughing so hard at a joke Ally made I missed several minutes of it and had to rewind.
If you need to laugh or smile, I cannot more highly recommend it.
#kai rambles#dropout#from ally to zacky#ally beardsley#zac oyama#talia tabin#victoria longwell#jacob wysocki#oscar montoya#kimia behpoornia#devin field#im half debating whether id share my dropout login with someone because on one hand dropout is cool with it and i just think more people#should watch their stuff but on the other im like the only people id be sharing it with would be internet friends and like i dont want to#dox myself. granted nowehere in my account do i have my legal name listed#i guess it would depend on who ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Trans? Need a Name?
i will fucking name you hmu
Edit: istg y'all if you want a name ask for one via reblogs and at the very least tell me your gender or pronouns Im not scrolling through all the damn comments and looking at your bio looking for basic info names are reblog only from this point forward (& I probably won't get to it bc I never check my tumblr)
#“oh but a name is so personal how can you name a stranger?” I'm your fucking dad now. I'm gonna name my fucking kids and you cant stop me#if youre trans and already have a name but still want a mostly deadbeat internet dad that works too#i can send you a shitty lil digital card at the holidays it'll be great#if you want a more personalized name (i.e. not a random name that pops into my head but a name w a specific meaning theme etc)#i will do it but itll cost you like 1-5 dollars idk#i need an outlet for naming things other than pets stuffies and myself#im this close to making my middle name Sievert-Nathaniel-Russel#and thats too many fucking names for a middle name#imagine trying to get that monogrammed#it's five names in total it would be a fucking nightmare#thats why i have to name you ppl now#queer#genderqueer#genderfaun#transgender#ftm#nonbinary#transmasc#trans#lgbtqia#transfemme#trangender#transfem#genderfluid#name suggestions#naming#trans names
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It’s oddly cathartic going through the art on my computer cuz I see how far I’ve come. Admittedly back then, it was really hard for me to be comfortable with my aus. Idk if it was just me, or how intense the Lu fandom could be, but I always wrote my Zelda aus in the way that others wanted, not how I wanted it, and it was hard for me. You can see it with old lbl really well and I truthfully wasn’t comfy with it cuz it really wasn’t what I wanted. I kept changing the plot to appease others cuz people were so VOCAL about their distaste for things and it was super hard on me, which makes sense why I gave up on old lbl and rebooted it. I can honestly see the same thing with TCOD which could explain some things, and it’s nice to know that I’m more confident in my stories and allowing myself to be more and more self indulgent with my stories and aus. I def have to thank Love at Twilight for that, and for my friends who encourage me with everything I do :)
#I’ll be honest#since I got blocked by a big artist for a reason unknown to me#I’ve felt really alienated from the links meet au fandom. and from my old internet friends#it hasn’t been easy#my aus have gone through a lot#but like I said. allowing myself to be super cringey and self indulgent has helped#again. love at twilight helped me ease into stuff I wanted to do that not everyone would like#it’s not easy#validation is good. but too much validation where you sacrifice your own joy for others isn’t worth it#I think that’s what I’m trying to say by ‘don’t write or draw for others’#yes do it for others! but do it for yourself first#don’t sacrifice yourself for others creatively#smiles rambles#anyways just a weird ramble
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Hehe this man is broken and severely emotionally distressed. Silly lovable guy but given self esteem issues because of the crushing weight of perfectionism. Not so funny if you think about it too long. But at least on the upside he cries pretty :))
No but seriously for all those who relate to Mr. Puzzles just want you to know your accomplishments alone do not define your value and worth as a person. Even when you’re a messy work in progress, you are loved and appreciated more than you may recognize. Thank you for being here. Don’t get me wrong it’s good to be idealistic and set goals, but don’t undermine yourself if you don’t get that perfect score….or if you start to fall behind compared to everyone else. Everyone goes through those moments of doubt or perceived failure. We need to fail every once in a while. And that’s okay
…a-anyways funny goofy dramatic TV guy we love him so much so silly so slay he lives in my head rent free yipeee. This animation is dedicated to him because if anyone in the cast deserved a feature length film it was definitely him, and he sure took up the spotlight in Puzzlevison and absolutely owned it. I’m excited for his future endeavors ✨
#someone please how did I make this in two days wh-#wow wow wow what’s going on here how did I do that this is scary super powers being unlocked right now#Mr. Puzzles hyperfixation give me strength and motivation to get shit done I guess??? yay???#like holy shit I’m so productive in my art all the sudden whats this feeling of dopamine and happiness-#WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DEPRESSION WHERE’D IT GO#sir really stepped into my brain and yeeted my depression saying ‘looks like you won’t be needing that anymore’#and now he things he can just puppeteer me around to make countless art pieces in his image and honor??#he’s using me as his pawn to spread his glorious face around the internet HELP jksjksp#no actally don’t it’s very comfortable and freeing here I love letting my silly fixations go rampant <3#I don’t even need to think about what I want to do art stuff just happens naturally#CHEERS TO FICTIONAL MEN YIPEEE#wow he’s so mentally ill just like me fr /j#also now I’m staring to guilt trip myself because I feel bad watching him cry even though I’M THE ONE WHO ANIMATED IT WHYYYY#hplonesome art#mr. puzzles animation#smg4 mr puzzles animation#mr puzzles smg4 animation#sad mr puzzles#mr. puzzles crying animation#smg4 mr puzzles#mr. puzzles smg4
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