#I THOUGHT WE WERE FINE DUDE
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DID RANKO JUST FUCKING DIE????
#akiba maid war spoilers#akiba meido sensou spoilers#akiba meido sensou#akiba maid war#mai.txt#I CANNOT BELIEVE MY EYES#WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON#I THOUGHT WE WERE FINE DUDE#WHY RANKO#I THOUGHT THE MANAGER WOULD DIE#NOT RANKO THO#I WANT HER BACK#LIKE RIGHT NOW#I'M SO UPSET RN
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refused to let myself rest until i finished making this
#loz#legend of zelda#twilight princess#midna#ocarina of time#ganondorf#phantom hourglass#linebeck#skyward sword#ghirahim#minish cap#vaati#i thought about adding totk rauru? but hes just polite hes not quite a man whos a fancy lady#this is my opinion but tbh yeah. idc that twili midna looks like that we all saw her in imp form shes 100% a girl whos a gross dude#linebeck and ghirahim were going to be in this from the start but i really had to think abt who else to add#i like how its like. 3 major villains and then the companions with the best arcs#ganondorf ended up being so close to linebeck bc i ran out of room and also bc im gay about them#also i used linebeck's model instead of that one bit of official art bc in the art his coat is incorrect (missing bottom stripe) so. model.#also you get his gay little pose with the model so win#listen vaati is the one im the least sure about here but its fine#anyways. loz polycule from hell#my post#dying over how fucking similar ghirahim and oot ganondorf's poses are tho#TBH MIDNA AND LINEBECK ARE SIMILAR TOO#vaati is left out damn
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Corrie Guard: Fox & Patches
@megneato did two more AMAZING commissions for me (the first was Ma Dong-Seok as Paz Vizsla, he’s beautiful, go look at him), which was to help get my headcanon down for what Fox looks like, and a design for my Corrie Medic OC, Patches! (I belatedly realized that is a common medic OC name. I am. Not sorry. ...or original.)
CC 1010: FOX
tired
like, so fucking tired
Constantly Vibrating Ball of Rage
hair gone white from stress and torture via Evil Sith Shenanigans
lightning scars around his neck, continue below armor on the right side of his torso
no tattoos so that he could pass as some of the other clones (this works up until the scarring and the trauma hair)
CT 9113: PATCHES
MASSIVE baby bro/vod’ika vibes, is from one of the more recent batches
very gentle and sweet and smiley
name comes from his patchwork scars, which were the result of being yeeted through a pane of glass (exact scenario as of yet undecided)
does actually have a kind bedside manner, but do not be fooled: he will also use the big sad eyes RUTHLESSLY
‘i’m not mad, just disappointed’ except instead of disappointed dad it’s your little brother who looks up to you and thinks the world of you and now you let him DOWN
that said, if he’s visibly angry, you should probably run.
#art commissions#tcw#tcw fanart#coruscant guard#commander fox#clone trooper oc patches#@other fic writers:#patches is up for borrowing if you ever need a quick medic OC!#be nice to him (or not)#my wife works with glass for like fiber optics and the like#and we were watching a scene where a dude goes through a window#'if that were real glass it is entirely possible that guy would be dead'#glass is sharp!#very sharp!#stop making people go through it and then be fine!#where are the consequences? where is the SUFFERING?#...anyways i usually play healers so i understand the All Medics Are .5 Seconds Away From Murder#and i thought it'd be interesting to make the opposite#.....he still likes big guns tho#soldier medic + massive gun = otp forever#ANYWAY MEG I LOVE THEM SO MU U CHHH
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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hi small vent
but like i went 2 get soda bc sugar & i just step on glass??
theres just glass on the floor no1 told me about
i didnt step 2 deep so im FINE BHT JUST
i was complaining how “not asking 4 help will make us end up walking on the broken glass u leave bhind” earlier & it came true i dont get this
also theres more blood but its on concrete so its fine but like cmon
#i did get my soda but in also rlly annoyed#i moved the big chunks of glass while wearing shoes so niko thought we were going on a walk#FREAKED ME OUT HE STARTED FOLLOWING ME CLOSER#I DONT THINK HE STEPPED ON ANY GLASSS HES FINE#but like heart attack#my dad has been sayong all day how hes a bad dad & abusive & neglectful but dude stop?? yk u r so like stop?#he says hes not embarrassed 2 ask 4 help but he never does even when i fucking beg him#BC IT ENDS W/ME STEPPING ON GLASS#THIS ISNT THE 1ST TIME RAAAHHHHH#im vey annoyed & now paranoid theres glass in my foot#im gonna die from glassy foot :(
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No actually the band assuming chive and glam are fucking and never outright stating it (beyond the drummer's fucking bizarre convo with glam about condoms) is hilarious because it implies the band lives on with this misconception. To this day the rest of the band believes they lost their lead guitarist because he refused to move on after they fired his boyfriend & lead singer
#random thoughts#metal family#radio host interviewing who are those freaks on stage: keeping in mind mercury's status as a queer icon#have you ever performed with any lgbtq artists?#lordy: oh have i got a story for you#glam in the midst of cooking another wonderful family dinner suddenly feels a chill running up his back#and this leads to this controversy where some people are like 'he outed chive and glam without their permission'#and some are like 'lordy's gay it's fine' (he's not)#and there's a divide between watfos hardcore fans who prefer the classic music with chive on vocals and glam on guitar#and new-age fans who like leo on vocals#some are like 'can't believe my favorite band is based in faggotry can nothing be politically free nowadays'#and some are like 'were chive and glam fired because they were gay???' and some are like 'obviously not look at leo' (also not gay)#meanwhile glam is blissfully oblivious for awhile until chive busts into their house like '???? DID YOU KNOW WE WERE FUCKING???'#and glam's like ' . . . excuse me? 😃'#and then when fans become aware of victoria opinion is split between 'glam and chive broke up' and 'victoria is glam's beard'#which like glam didn't really care about any of this until they started implying he was using victoria as a cover for his gayness#which like. gets him REAL pissed#he ends up having an interview with a radio host about it and they ask such fucking infuriating questions he leaves a glitter bomb#idk i just think people assuming two dudes are gay is funny but only if they're unaware of the assumption#and chive and glam have matured as people. they can probably handle the idea of people thinking they fucked with grace#they would NOT handle this well when they were first starting out. probably divorce over it just a little#glam's unconscious bias against being seen as gay stemming from his desire to conform instilled by his father (he is very autistic btw)#chive calls people faggot and says things are gay i know it in my heart#they make this vacuum of assumed homophobia#i also think glam just does not like being touched like at all. it freaks him out#he does it casually unless pointed out and then he just goes STIFF.
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#finally ended the relationship that took all my health and happiness from me :)#many lessons learned#unfortunate that I am so nosey as to know about the constant lies but I would probably still be trapped otherwise#like actually insane that the person i trusted most in the world can speak about me like that#but i know it’s really nothing to do with me it just sucks#couldnt lie FOR me so outed me as a sex worker but 100% fine with lying ABOUT me behind my back#if you are reading this and are confused thats even worse btw#i thought it would be difficult but you have made it very very easy#i am thankful for that much#x#8 years of my life wasted i wish we never met#all the signs were there the first time and i still came back and hung around like an idiot#i feel a need to try to warn ykw but i dont think he will listen / i will just make him paranoid. so#i still wanted to cohabit but obviously this is impossible if you cannot be honest with yourself#but sure leave me with nothing except resentment and resign yourself to misery. cool dude#i stood by your side when it got hard for you & when it got hard for me you abandoned me. fuck you forever never speak to me again#i’m ngl this relationship has made me so averse to labelling myself as a femme because this butch acts like a man#it was so hard to keep that to myself for the entire relationship but i can say it now#(breathes a giant sigh of relief)#there’s just soooo much…#always an excuse#its so tiring its so old. my main feeling around all of this is just a bottomless fucking pit of disappointment#like how is ur response to me saying its over that you have shitty partner disorder lmfao#ughhh sorry i treated you like absolute shit for 6+ years i had no choice because i suck#please be serious. actually dont its easier to leave when you live in genuine fucking delusion#BYEEEEE
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I think making sweeping generalizations of specific traits being considered "ugly" is not great the same way i think its rude and unnecessary to call others ugly, i also think its worthwhile to acknowledge that certain traits ARE considered "Ugly" due to societal beauty standards, that doesn't make them ACTUALLY ugly, bc beauty is subjective anyway, and can be found Anywhere, and even someone who seems to tick every single box of societal beauty Ideals will almost certainly have at least one trait or feature about their appearance that they are insecure about or feel is "ugly", bc even within the constraints of conventional attractiveness theres subjectivity
also this fish was so fucking Ugly and i adored it so much. i miss him.
he was also gorgeous.
#toy txt post#toy pic post#he passed in like. man. i want to say 2019? his name was Gus. he was a pink kissing gourami#the thing about albino fish is that they always look a little bit sickly and concerning. his head always seemed a little big for his body#like he was really old. when i got him he looked so bad cos he had wounds all over him from dads fish that got infected and the dude#straight up looked like a zombie. every day id wake up and prepare myself to find him dead. but he recovered and never went back in w the#fish that injured him. his face was hideous. he looked pale and sickly. his head was a little too big like he was super old#his scales were iridescent and pretty and shimmery. he had no concept of giving a shit about me finding him beautiful or not. not even on#his mind. simply not something he would think about. now. im sure he'd have some sort of beauty standard to hold himself to for mating if#that had been an option for him. but it wouldnt be the same. idk. i just. i love the idea. of animals that are not traditionally cute or#beautiful or charismatic and the fact that they do not give a single fucking shit what we think of the way they look. BOTH ways. a#a butterfly does not give a single thought tohow beautiful or inspiring you find the colors of its wings. the wolf fish does not care that#humans find it hideous and terrifying. it just looks the way that it does. its fine. its vibing. it just wants to live and survive and get#enough food. yes beauty is everywhere but so is ugly. and there is beauty in ugly. to me. there is beauty in not even thinking about#standards to be conformed to or not. the beauty is irrelevant. its not For You. it doesnt Matter. its just Existing. if you like how it#looks while it exists? great! good for you. if you dont? okay cry about it i guess. this ugly ass fish doesnt give a shit if humans find it#beautiful or not. he was just going to continue to use his lips covered in teeth to scrape biofilm and algae off the surface of rocks and#driftwood and play in the current of the filter.#let girls be ugly the way marine iguanas dont give a shit if humans find them pretty cos theyre just sunning themselves and eating seaweed#off rocks. all humans are beautiful. all humans are ugly. it doesnt matter. let us go dive into the ocean and scrape seaweed off the rocks#and then bask in the sun on a warm rock and not fucking worry about that#anyway also Yes ive seen uglier fish than him.i know they exist. but he was also special cos he was My Fish u see
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brooo i hate having Dreams That Piss You Off i woke up all pissed off at NOTHIIINNNNNGGGGG
#dreamt that my ex (platonic we were toxic besties) fucking CASED MY HOUSE#i saw him through the fucking WINDOW taking PICTURES of my FUCKING BEDROOM#shoved my hand through the blinds to flip him off and he took off running#i ripped down the blinds and slammed open the window and yelled HOW DID YOU FIND MY HOUSE#he said something like What and i yelled louder HOW DID YOU FIND MY FUCKING HOUSE. MOM FUCKING MIKE IS HERE#she came up to the window and pointed at him and said I HATE YOUR FUCKING GUTS#and i climbed out the window and he was like OH MY GOD BITCH CALM DOWN and i yelled HOW DID YOU FIND MY HOUSE#and his backup (of course he had backup) was like oh dude shes pissed and misty (WHY WAS MISTY THERE??) was like PET OMG CALM DOWN#and mike said WELL I HAD TO SNEAK! YOU ALWAYS FUCKING DO THIS YOU JUST VANISH! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRYING THAT IS?!#and i yelled HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!!!!!! YOU PIGFUCKING BASTARD!!!!!!!!! ANSWER ME#and he yelled I WENT TO THE ARMY!! I DIDNT KNOW WHERE YOU WERE BUT I KNOW YOUR LAST NAAME BITCH and i bluescreened#and he went NO ONE KNEW WHERE YOU WENT!! YOU JUST WENT CRAZY AND LEFT#and i said DON'T FUCKING BLAME THIS (GESTURING BETWEEN US) ON ME YOU FUCKING DUMPED ME#and after some more argument we wound up inside. in like. a dorm common room. me & mike sitting in separate chairs not looking at each other#and he asked how have you been. and i said Fine. How's your mom. (i have known she died for years)#and he went into how she died of cancer that he should have had her check out but he didnt bc he thought it was just her being funny again#and then into how his latest best friend died of alcohol poisoning after mike started a co-binge. and i said im so fucking sorry dude#thats so awful. and he snapped at me Why the fuck are you talking about ME thats all you ever talk about!! youre obsessed!!#and i said What the fuck are you on about and his backup was like Oh please he told us how you're obsessed with him and youre still doing it#and i looked at the backup. and i looked at mike. and i stood up and said Thats all i needed to know. fuck you both. and walked off#turned to misty and said Good to see you again. if you wanna hang out sometime I'm down. WITHOUT (pointing at mike) him.#it was. ph my fucking god. aaauhhjgh FUCK. i hope shared dreams are real i hope he heard the contempt in my voice as i told him to fuck off#and also WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
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i need eddie to get another guy friend in season 8, and buck loses his shit about it (again), so he breaks up with t because he's convinced that the weird feeling he gets when he sees them together is because he is Really attracted to the new guy.
#like things with t are fine cuz he likes exploring this new side of himself even if t doesnt always match his energy but whatever its fun#and maybe at work chim is the one who brings up eddies new friend and he is immediately just. what new friend?#chim laughs and says. tbf last time eddie got a new friend you attacked him so you could date his friend. hes probably keeping it to himsel#and bucks like. dude what. that was. yeah it was shitty of me but it was a one time thing. i wont do it again...#and when eddie shows up for shift buck immediately asks about his new friend and eddie tells him about the guy without hesitation#after shift tho buck is like. why didnt you tell me about him? after t i get why you dont want to but im just. you dont have to worry man.#buck. i know. im not worried. anyway he and i are gonna head to a bar to catch the game. you want to come with? you can bring t if hes free#oh. thats. thatd be okay? i dont want to idk ruin the vibe by bringing a date#nah man. itll be fine#and so he and t go to the bar and eddies already inside with the new friend and its Fine. its Great actually because t gets along with eddi#and the new guy and the new guy makes eddie laugh and doesnt miss a beat and knows more about the teams record this season than buck and#buck is doing Fine. this guys smile is big and his eyes are bright and when he laughs he sorta leans into eddies space alittle and its Fine#the night ends and buck and t go back to his apartment and buck cant stop thinking about that guys hand when it clapped down on eddies#shoulder or the look on his face as he teased eddie about the beer he drinks (cuz its kinda bad but only buck can say that) and buck Cant.#he wants that guy. he wants his hands and grin and teasing voice all to himself and not on eddie.#so he breaks up with t and ts confused af cuz i thought things were going good?#yeah. i just. i want to explore my options yk now that ive uh figured out i like men.#and its a clean break. not dramatic or messy. t tells him to call if he every changes his mind. buck wont.#bucks trying to not pry about eddies new friend and he doesnt grill eddie or anyone and just waits and listens to all the new info he gains#and eventually eddie invites him out to watch another game because whatever team they were watching made it to the playoffs#and when he gets there eddies like. no t tonight?#nah we. uh. we broke up.#eddie says sorry man that sucks. and the new guy is like. honestly he didnt even seem that into you which what an idiot. youre great.#and its good because the new guy splits his attention between the two of them now. eddie isnt the only one getting hands and grins and eyes#and the third time theyre at the bar the guy follows him to bathroom and kisses him hard against the door before pulling back with a#panicked sorry and leaving and when buck finds eddie after hes like. what happened? new guy ran out of here without even saying goodbye#he kissed me in the bathroom. i think uh. i think he was kinda freaking out about it and thats why he left.#and eddie just blinks at him before being like. buck. buck you said you werent going to do this again.#i didnt mean to! and buck means it. he just saw the way that guy made eddie laugh and put his hands on eddie and had eddies attention and#oh.
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gave my number out to someone (god i wish i’d come up with a good reason to say no) and reeeaaaaaalllllllyyy wish i hadn’t but wouldn’t dare make the social faux pas of ghosting them because that’s mean and also i see him almost every day of the week
#kiwi shares their thoughts#he’s so… chatty#i have 0 things against him#but i NEVER have the energy to full heartedly interact with him whenever he tries to talking to me#and he’s just so exhausting to me for some reason#i don’t vibe with him enough to talk this often dude#there’s only a small group of people who don’t drain my social battery when i interact with them#and several people who don’t drain it as bad#but idk man this dude saps all my fucking energy and tests my patience but i don’t know why because he’s literally fine#the amount of times i have been THIS CLOSE to just… deleting the contact#if only i didn’t see him basically every day#i feel bad he wants to be my friend but it’s like he’s running and i feel like i’m being dragged when i’d prefer if we were just walking#anyone got tips on how to gently tell someone to calm down and fuck off#like can i put a text limiter on him#also i don’t know if it’s normal to him but he texted me “good morning”#bitch what#we literally are forced to see each other in like 2 hours the hell you mean good morning just fucking wait dude#my BEST FRIENDS AND I don’t even exchange good morning texts#that’s too much for me w someone who quite frankly is essentially a rando to me besides his name#anyways
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nate please please please please I am shaking you by the shoulders right now no one needs to do this please you can make a actual thought provoking interesting thumbnail for the song you don't need to appeal to clickbait algorithms anymore you're still letting yourself be bound to it people loved your early original songs for what they were without this. please stop doing this please stop changing thumbnails I am going to cry
#literally has done this to multiple thumbnails that were even perfectly okay before#I mean the original for this one wasn't all that good either but this is far worse#massive disappointment when I saw with you change it's so. boring and predictable I have seen it plenty of times before#literal opposite of what he was going for#not to mention SCRAP HEAP DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THE SONG TITLE ANYWHERE EXCEPT THE VIDEO ITSELF#nothing left to want became boring too though at least STILL INCLUDED THE TITLE IN IT#does he realize that. THIS is probably just damaging his content further?#I mean he can do whatever he wants and if he's happy with it then fine by me#but do you SEE the traction and views sandcastle kingdoms and paid in exposure got? besides his fnaf songs and parodies#he's ALSO known for phantom! an original song! and I hate that his rebranding of it as a hazbin hotel song actually worked!#because it's not going to continue to!#like dude we all know a lesson in grief has nothing to do with sonic. none of the lyrics tie into anything sonic related whatsoever#ik he's trying to get his stuff out there via the things he was once known for but maybe..... it's time to FULLY let go of that?#bc it's embarrassing to watch and it doesn't feel all that passionate. though he's dropped fandom music he's still very much bound to it#and ADMITS it#please you can make original and thought provoking art! without ties to fandom! idk what you did with your first two original albums#but it wasn't this and you should do it again#I swear nate people love your music for what it is and even though to let go was not my favorite#you still have potential far past what the algorithm is doing to you. none of this is genuine and it's very much present#in how you promote your music. I feel it when I see these thumbnails. I feel it when I watch these videos. it PUTS ME OFF so much#sorry for the rant in the tags and sorry if this is a hot take I hope y'all can see where I'm coming from 👍#natewantstobattle#nwtb#nathan sharp#nate posting#natewantstobtl
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Well. Thats disappointing. I love another queer show that I don't finish because a 1950s ass choice was made.
#here i thought we were beyond the hays code in the fun and fancy romantic comedy pirate show#where stede is stabbed and is fine#and so was ed#and like everyone#no no kill the suicidal one AND take his prosthetic off him before you bury him fuck you dude what is that#either there is a GUARANTEED s3 or dj really didnt think that through at all in implication#'izzy is rep of the old ways' perhaps NOT when he was literally changing and finding a spot in the new ways like. last week????#i know gratuitous chsracter death ive been reading jjk ainxe it started i have a nanami figure this was not even gratuitous#this was just 'ed has to be here for his ending ans izzy is a wall that was already taking himself down but we need a wrecking ball'#ofmd season 2#ofmd season two spoilers
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“the academy has a gender bias and a genre bias working against Greta and Margot’s favor” and “the academy loves Ryan Gosling and probably tripped over themselves in the rush to nominate him in a showy comedic supporting role in a movie that was a box office hit” are two statements that can both be true at the same time.
#if anything gosling should have been kicked out for charles melton#I mean they gave this big blockbuster comedy based on existing IP 8 nominations so I wish ppl would calm down like they expected better lol#and 4 of those noms are picture screenplay and double supporting#black panther is prob the closest comparison and it missed out in all but 1 of the top line categories#same goes for best director honestly#you thought they were gonna nominate greta for barbie in this crazy competitive year?? we should be grateful that it’s not 5 dudes#greta still got the screenplay nom and margot got the best picture nom so they are doing fine#also I wish ppl would shut up about original song#I’m just Ken is fun and I’m glad it’s not just that boring af billie eilish song#they should have booted that for dua lipa and annette for margot (sry annette ily)#tbh tho I enjoyed barbie just fine but it’s nowhere near my top 10 lol#it’s not even in my top 5 pre-existing IP movies lol#oscars#barbie#mel talks
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if you ever get confused and genuinely annoyed by my many what the fuck evers just know its my near debilitating ocd
#got in a chat about how many presentations i needed and shit just in case for a demo and they were hem hawing about how like#how MANY sets we had as if im going to say make all ten sets for some assholes to get three and the other sets have to be destroyed and#remade next week#seven#its always seven#but i talked for like ten minutes about how 8 is a big number to me its round and can be cut in half and its even and seven is#a prime number right and you never have too many at seven its just a normal fine number and the gap between seven and eight m#ight as well be anhundred fucking thousand and six isnt enough its a small number#and they just stared at me like yeah dude seven seems fine#i could see the why did you even talk to me thought bubble and also the what the fuck is wrong with this guy bubble
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[corporal punishment/child abuse cw]
lol @ the fact that my relationship with my father has to just. absorb and accept the fact that (1) he’ll do things like initially assert he didn’t spank me, when i’m in fact quite sure both my parents did, and that (2) when pressed on this point, he’ll retreat into ‘well, you were really impossible to deal with sometimes!’ which is of course obliquely if not explicitly framing those spankings as justified…
like. holy shit. i mean it’s all so textbook—they didn’t treat my sister and me as brutally as their parents treated them, so what they did must be fine by comparison, right?—but unfortunately the predictability of it doesn't actually resolve the feelings for me!
#but just like. this came up bc we were discussing surgical histories#and like. one time when i was a kid i slipped and got a tear that needed stitches#only bc the damage was to an Unmentionable Area i got put under general anesthesia for it‚ which wasn’t my choice#because basically doctors are terrified to look you in the eyeball and touch yr unmentionables at the same time‚ even as an adult#which like. today if a gynecologist tried that i'd be like. what is this paper curtain accomplishing. can we just not‚ thanks.#but at the time obviously i accepted the treatment i was told to accept#and he was like ‘well then why didn’t you pipe up and say it was your body and your call!’ mostly jocularly but still#and like. (a) i was like ten‚ my dude‚ but also (b) you did not raise a kid who thought they had bodily autonomy like that!!#bc they literally didn’t—you hit me when you felt like it and i had no recourse!#anyway. it’s like. fine now‚ i got big enough to resist and it stopped‚ but like. fundamental betrayal and you gotta just eat it and smile!#formative
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