#I STILL LOVE YOU CUBITOS
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Brother if he agrees to the wedding those aren't his boundaries at all
#listen it does not matter to me whether or not qphil reciprocates the romantic part ok im still making my interpretations.#i do not care if he goes yeah i appreciate it m8 but i don't feelt hat way about you but i still care about you in my own way#i get that ive been expecting this outcome since april.#but IF phil decides to go yes my cubito is in bi denial and in love with his husband. then that is HIS decision#what are you gonna do?? are you gonna go philll that's against your boundarieeesss SHUT UP HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS.#He knows what the community's gonna do!!! he's a grown man on the internet he knows full well what people are Already Doing!!!#what do you think Im Not Missing Missa It's Fine was about HE FUCKING KNOWS. HE'S IN ON THE BIT
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I can’t believe the Qsmp is at this point now where I don’t want Slimecicle to login. Selfish, I know, but I have my reasons why I don’t want him to appear. For him to see the ruin the server has fallen into while he has been gone. For him to realize why there’s so much destruction. Why the people he once called his friends, family even, are unrecognizable. Why there’s a cloud of grief looming over every inch of the island, not just his house anymore. But worst of all, I don’t want him to find the solution to all his problems.
The Pills.
An easy way to regain your happiness after life has fucked you over again and again and again? A painless procedure to get rid of the apathy lodged in your fucking chest, slowly consuming you whole? A one-way ticket to forget all that shit that was bothering you in the first place? A chance to see Flippa again? It’s a dream come true! This is what Slime wants—not to heal, not to move on, not to deal with therapy and the feelings and paperwork that comes with it. He wants to be happy again. And the Federation’s treatment is quite literally his perfect medicine!
Almost too perfect...
What if the Federation had originally created the medicine Slime and it consequently worked on the other islanders? But wait, no, that doesn’t make sense. If the pills were made specifically for Slime, then why wasn’t he prescribed them? I mean, there would be no reason not to; the Feds were never particularly fond of Gegg given the rampant threats of arson. So why are we seeing them now? Or, a better question: why did the Federation create them in the first place? How were they able to have the pills on hand in case of mass hysteria and the destruction of the island?
It’s almost as if the Federation had the perfect control for their experiment. Someone who initially grieved not with tears or deals or a shoulder to lean on, all of which would come later, but with a wrath so volatile it could tear the server in half. Someone who’s parental rage could only be quelled through resurrection, a feat never to be taken lightly. Someone who would be their worst-case scenario if their ire were ever directed towards them.
It seems as if the Federation was prepared for the worst-case scenario. The antidote to an islander’s worst qualities; best taken when vulnerable. And it’s all thanks to Slimecicle! Without him, who knows what the Federation would have done with our favorite melodramatic president? Everyone is a cog in the machine, whether they know it or not! :)
If Slimecicle realizes this, I’m not sure whether he’ll survive the weight of the guilt on top of what he already forces himself to carry. Therefore, what you don’t know can’t hurt you.
#qsmp#slimecicle#charlie slimecicle#qsmp federation#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#no matter how long he doesn’t stream#I’ll always have slime on the brain#In both sense of the word slime my brain is becoming goo#on a completely unrelated note I miss slimecicle#I don’t think I can handle the heartbreak but qsmp stream when? LMAO#og cubito babyyy I will never let you fade away#not while i’m still around overthinking literally everything and writing it down for some reason#yadda yadda I love unindented parallels and foreshadowing#it’s what I live off of#:D
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i think the qsmp is very impressive for speedrunning the same love-hate relationship i have with the dsmp in under a year as opposed to the three it took for the other one
#truly the qsmp experience for me was just my dsmp experience but . 10x more intense . qsmp burned bright like a sun and fucking exploded#while dsmp just kinda died out slowly and by then i wasn’t interested in it anw#i think love-hate relationship is the only way to describe it because it’s like . it was incredible . i loved it . i still love it .#i dedicate my free time to working on a wiki for it and i think about the cubitos and npcs often . but jesus fucking christ the toll that#shit took on quite literally the everyone’s mental health . the constant stress and near psychological torment the ccs and admins dealth#with because of an insane lack of rp etiquette planning and communication . they couldn’t even talk to the people they were roleplaying#child death with . what the fuck#and looking back at it now it’s crazy to me just how MUCH happened in such a short amount of time . just constant shit happening . purgatory#lasted two weeks and it still feels to me like it lasted two months i’m so serious . you lived every single fucking moment#etoiles still brings up purgatory when he’s in a particularly stressful ‘damned if i do damned if i don’t situation’ . lord#and STILL i’m glad it happened and it seems like the admins and ccs would pretty much all agree seeing how they act . like even despite#how so much of it sucked . because so much of it was incredible and life changing and just a fucking adrenaline rush of fun .#i don’t want another qsmp 2 as much as i’d love to be optimistic as much as i want to capture the joy of the server’s best momenrs again#christ in hell . pay your fucking workers treat them as actual human beings and act like the international company you are#jay rambles
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since we're probably finally gonna be seeing spiderbit back together in a couple days, here's my personal take on their reunion :> just to be safe: tw for talk/implications of suicidal thoughts (under the cut)
They stay there for God only knows how long, holding on as tight as they can, in fear of what could happen if they let go.
(It could all change in the blink of an eye. Heaven forbid.)
They’d started their embrace standing, but it was short-lived, the weight of everything crashing down on them as their legs gave out, water building behind their eyes.
For now, it’s finally over. For now, it’s finally just them. And that’s enough.
It’s Roier who finally moves first, lifting his head from Cellbit’s shoulder but not pulling back far enough to leave his husband’s arms. No, he’s not ready for that yet.
He holds Cellbit’s face in his hands, brows furrowed as he stares him down. “What the fuck happened?”
“I didn’t—” the investigator pauses, seeming to rethink his words— “I chose to stay there.”
(He can never lie to the spider-hybrid, in any capacity.)
Roier’s brows furrow even more, if possible. “¿Qué—? Hijo de puta, what were you thinking?”
Cellbit glances away from him, eyes flickering down. He looks… guilty. Conflicted. “I… I saw Richas die in front of me. At least, I thought I did. And honestly?” He swallowed. “I wanted it to be over after that. I didn’t care anymore. As long as you made it. And you did. That was the only thing that mattered to me.”
Roier purses his lips, chest heavy. He understands, in a morbid truth - he really does. He thinks of how he felt immediately after Bobby died and the days that followed. The hours spent in the damn pool, hoping, praying for a way out. Falling from the heights of his castle without a care. The pain that still plagues him.
(He understands better than anyone else.)
But it was Cellbit who started to make him feel alive again. Cellbit who made his world even just a little brighter, even with the storm clouds of his own past.
And he’ll be damned if he loses him, too.
(They’re together. For better or for worse.)
There’s a question on the tip of his tongue. Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to stay?
(He feels like, deep down, he already knows at least a small semblance of the investigator’s answer. And it makes him upset. For Cellbit.)
(Why does this happen to any of them?)
But Roier doesn’t even have to ask. He knows Cellbit knows, somehow, by the way his husband studies his expression.
(They’ve become eerily good at reading each other. That’s just how they work now. But he wouldn’t have it any other way.)
The thoughts come pouring out of Cellbit before he can really stop them; the same ones he’d relayed to Baghera. “I knew you would've stayed if I told you. And I didn't want you to do that. I didn’t want to take the chance of you around me when I was… like that. And this isn’t much better. I’m still—” he recoils, retracting his arms from Roier, who nearly grabs for his hands at the loss of contact. “You deserve better than this, guapito; you deserve to be free, not stuck there on that fucking island, stuck with me— you’d be happier without me.”
“¿Qué?”
(Roier feels like someone just submerged him under icy water.)
“I thought you’d be happier without me. I didn’t think you could be happy around me like this. I still don’t— I—”
Cellbit is interrupted by a sudden hand against the back of his neck, pulling him forward as lips crash against his, and he’s nearly overwhelmed by all the emotions behind it, intertwining with his own.
But he kisses back immediately, melting right into it; of course he does. He knows he can talk all he wants about not wanting Roier to be around, but what he wants and what he needs are two separate things.
They're breathless when they pull apart, and Roier's hands settle on Cellbit's shoulders. “You’re an idiot, Cellbo, you know that? So brilliant, yet so stupid sometimes."
He breathes in, out, catching his breath and trying to gather the right words. “I spent so long looking for you. Hours and hours, every single day, trying to find some sign of you. Anything.
Why? Because I was fucking miserable, man! I felt like shit without you! I missed you, I missed you so much.” His voice falters slightly.
“But—”
“Pinche pendejo—” Roier hisses under his breath— “I don’t care what you think I deserve. I want you. Always. We stick together, no? Not because we're stuck and we have to, but because we want to, no?"
Cellbit nods slowly after a moment, remaining quiet. "Exactamente." The spider-hybrid reaches up, cradling his husband's face in his hands and catching a stray tear with the pad of his thumb. "I will always help you, no exceptions. Remember? Always here, for anything you may need."
The investigator falls into his arms, muttering tearful apologies, and they're right back to clutching each other tightly, securely.
(They're both crying, now. The tears stream freely, knowing they can be. Together.)
(It's not okay right now, but maybe in time, it will be.)
"Desculpa—" Cellbit chokes out— "te amo..."
They hold on tighter still. Roier's voice is muffled slightly, but Cellbit can make out the words as clear as day as the piece he's been desperately missing for weeks slides back into place.
"You and I against the world, gatinho."
And so it'll be.
#i feel like we've gotten so many angst-heavy reunion fics#which i get it the situation IS super angsty but like the comfort ??? have you also considered the amount of comfort potential ???#really tried to tread carefully with this one tho these cubitos are very emotionally complex and i'm still learning how to write them#but at the end of the day they love each other more than anything#and i think that's certainly worth noting yk?#qsmp cellbit#qsmp roier#spiderbit#qsmp#blue writes qsmp#tw sui ideation#tw sui talk
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just watched Phil's vod of today and he and forever talked to e/o. philever might be dead but q!sugarduo still goes strong
(I know that bit probably wasn't entirely in character but nice seeing them trust each other even after the wedding thing happened. your honor the divorced dads are still friends, thank you q-mmunication smp)
#qsmp#philever#before anyone says anything literally being a sugarduo fan is being delusional as hell I don't wanna hear abt it /j#qsmp forever#qsmp philza#sugarduo#caramelduo#I hate how many tags they have god#Anyway they're besties in my mind yesyes. not romantically involved anymore but they'll still throw jabs at e/o cuz it's funny#they didn't really talk much about what happened. I feel like they didn't have to Anyway#there wasn't much to talk abt it. stuff was pretty clear. but love how even after that they'll still team up to protect the huevos#love you forever cubito
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sobbing rn thinking of the friends ive made through mcyts.....i love you all whether we're talking right now or havent talked in years.....you all have a special place in my heart......we may have met through liking cubitos but we grew well beyond that....sorry im having thoughts
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#confessions#wholesome#literally this!!! youre so correct nonnie!!!!#i love my mcyt friends too#i love the people in that three year old gc that gets spammed mostly with anime these days#i love the various people ive friended on discord that i never talk to anymore but still look through our dms sometimes#i love the people that i still talk to even if they have other interests noe#i love the people thst i still talk to even if they dont have other interests now#i love the people in thwt new gc less than two weeks old#i love my tumblr mutuals tht i dont talk to but see on my dash and go ᗡ: knowing that i followed them for mcyt even if theyre notinto it no#i love the people in the discord server that kinda imploded on itself but made such a big impact on my life#(<- half of these tags refer to people i met through said server)#i love my qpp who still listens to me rant at it abt mcyt#i love the new people i meet i love the old people i dont talk to#i love the people that i start out talking to about mcyt but conversations grow far beyond that#i love the person that i meow back and forth in dms with instead of really talking#i love the people that did so so so much for me when i joined the fandom at 11 and werent creepy towards me (thank fuck)#i love the people that encouraged me to write that encouraged me to draw to look at these cubitos and be creative about it#i love the fanfiction authors that i know that rant about their fics to me in dms#i love the fanartists that send me their wips of block people and i will cheer them on#i love absolutely everyone who made this fandom a home for me for what feels like my entire life#i love you. thank you.#mcyt fandom has done so much for me#90% of the people i know today; i know through mcyt fandom#i would not be who i am today without yall#i love you everyone who was a friend to me through mcyt fandom#Ɛ>
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qjaiden death got me so fucked up I have about 30 posts worth of queue about her
#some are other things but a good 90% are jaiden#i didn't want to clog up someone's notifs lolol but yeah the queue's gonna go till friday#i know ccjaiden made the decision herself to step away and im glad she's prioritising herself and her mental health#but also GAH. she was part of the first group. she was our first woman. she was my first pov. and only pov up until bobby died.#she was a lawyer. a mother. a best friend. she was amazing.#i didnt pay much attention to her cubito and all the cucurucho lore after bobbys death but im still going to miss her#wouldnt have started watching qsmp had it not been for her. i may have been a mcyt fan before qsmp but i never watched dsmp so i knew of-#-the other creators but not enough to want to watch. but seeing jaiden animations up there amused me enough to start watching#we watched her adopt bobby with roier. i loved their friendship from the start. i kept up w bobby so much. he was my first favourite#im going to miss her. she was a wildcard but god she was one of the best#jaiden roier bobby drawing sessions. jaiden hanging out with roier and mariana. jaiden attending roier and cellbit's wedding#jaiden showing off her wings. jaiden getting a new hairdo. jaiden in bobby fields never being able to set down more than 3 chairs#jaiden saying goodbye to every sunset. calling out wait for me. dont leave her. wait for her. wait for her bobby.#she's with you now.#FUCK OKAY I THOUGHT I'D BE FINE NVM
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feeling silly and goofy in this chilies tonight. i love modern aus and more specifically i really like college/university aus TT is it because im currently a student and coping? yes. leave me alone sdakjnvkajsn
THEYRE SILLY!! they can be silly and funny and nothing bad can happen in them. im forcing all the qsmp cubitos to go through the struggles of being a student and also thinking about what goofy ass shenanigans they'd get up too
#💬 one new message#before i post this i had 6666 posts in total on this blog which is very funny to me#if you ask me so nicely ill infodump like probably majority of what me and vert were talking about last night lolol#would you be suprised if i told you the main people we have ideas for are slimeriana and guapoduo? no you shouldn't be advnkjsa#also the favela six <33 the specialist cubitos ever <33#if youve been on this blog long enough this is completely seperate from the slimeriana college au post i made months ago#they're new and improved here but still toxic and stupid in love <33 dw i would never change that about them
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My previous point still stands, but I also wanted to say it really sucks seeing people make cubito Pac so white that even Fit is darker than he is. There's not even a "but the cc is light skinned!" excuse because IRL Pac is darker than Fit too. It just sucks seeing characters getting constantly whitewashed.
Absolutely devastated to see q!Pac being cursed with the same affliction as q!Quackity (people drawing him with blue eyes)
#i talk#qsmp talk#whitewashing#brought to you by me waking up blearily opening social media only to see the palest-ass looking Pac drawing I've ever seen#like deadass I was like ''why is there GNF fanart on my dash. who the hell made me see this''#then I was like ''why is he drawn with Fit''#''IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE PAC''#''WHY IS PAC WHITER THAN FIT''#it's been a problem for a while but I deadass am so serious – his skin color was like. eggshell white#and Fit's skin was the color of cubito pac's skin#head in my hands it's really not that hard not to whitewash people#I know folks want to twinkify and feminize and whitewash every dude in a pairing they like but for the love of god keep it to yourself#I'm not one for policing what people do or draw but I think I've reached my limit#I'm so tired bro I just wanna see people respecting non-white people and characters#cubito pac is not a white twink with blue eyes#and for that matter the actually dude pac isn't a white twink with blue eyes either#I kinda cringed a bit seeing fanart like that yesterday when Pac was scrolling through reddit but what I saw earlier today was way worse#I was just gonna shrug it off and move on but I'm still frustrated#it's a problem in every fandom and I've written papers on it in the past#but it sucks seeing people trying to shove their favorite pairings into stereotypical ''uke / seme'' or ''top / bottom'' '''''roles'''''#and I use heavy quotation marks because someone's personality or size or whatever doesn't designate who a top / bottom is in a relationship#which is an INSANE thing to have to write out but.#people try so hard to make the ''masculine man'' of the relationship dark skinned and beefy and super macho and aggressive#and the ''feminine'' man of the relationship white as milk and a skinny twink with European features (regardless if the character is white)#Having these traits isn't necessarily bad if that's who they are / what the character actually looks like / if it's handled respectfully#but when a character is disfigured to fit into these ''cookie cutter'' depictions of what fans think a MLM relationship should look like#it's a big problem#I dunno man. If you need to change the skin color eye color body and personality of a character#are you sure you actually like them?
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I gotta say it. I fucking love the range of canon ships we have in the qsmp. We have the love at first sight 'not even death can do us part' thing with spiderbit. We have the learning to love and to be loved after only knowing pain with fitpac. We have the messy situationship 'maybe i shouldn't have been too stubborn. Maybe i should have just loved you' thing with 4halo. We have 'i finally can settle down and love someone. But be careful of my claws, please' thing with bagina. We have the divorced still in love 'right person wrong time but we don't care we won't let go no matter how much it hurts' thing with slimeriana. And the many other dynamics with the cubitos and their goddess and the not so canon ships but the dynamic is THERE and hfjdkgkslf
Just. I rlly love it. I love that the ccs are comfortable enough to do this their own way. I love this server so much
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Missa cubito ohmygod today’s stream was SOOO.
Firstly, I haven’t talked about this but the fact that q!Missa has finally accepted the family home as his home too makes me want to snob. The fact that he calls it HIS home too, after spending so long distancing himself and saying that he doesn’t deserve to live with them? It makes my heart spin. And yes he still has his movements of self doubt but he knows now that this is his home and this is where he will always return to no matter what.
And I adore the little things that Missa notices. Last stream he got so giddy over the barrel in the house with his name on it and got so happy that he was included with the rest of the family even if he didn’t have anything in it. And then once again today gasping and getting happy at seeing the barrel again as if it was the first time all over. Missa loves being loved and he adores the little things the family does to show it. And how does he return the favor? With drawings he can leave behind dedicated to each one of them. Because he loves his family and he will find a way to physically show it even if he can’t be awake when they are.
And ohhh today with the cakes. He struggled so much and he lost so much energy trying to make the birthday cake for Tallulah but he would not give up until he got it done for both of them because his kids deserve it. And can I also point out I don’t think he realized it was also Chayanne’s birthday but he still made him a cake because he wanted to give something to his son and not make him feel left out. And when he was making the drawing for Tallulah he would not stop and he would not let ANYTHING distract him because his daughter deserves the world and she deserves the perfect painting.
Then come the raccoons. He goes and helps them clean because maybe he can earn money for the family and help out more around the house -> something Missa has always struggled with. He always wants to provide for the family the way they have him so he goes along with these raccoons. Then it all goes to shit when Bad logs on and he finds out it was his home they were cleaning. He finds the dead bodies and he gets scared because… who is this man he’s been calling his friend? Why does he have a grave of bodies underneath his home?
Missa runs. He tries to run away from q!Bad but he always finds him. And then it gets revealed that Missa was working with the raccoons and Bad backs away from Missa because how could he betray him. And Missa does try to explain it, he doesn’t know what is going on. He’s lost and confused and no one is answering his questions. q!Bad threatens and leaves q!Missa with the racoons just for the racoons to stab Missa in the back and rob him too.
This is when he asks himself, who can he trust? q!Bad isn’t who he thought he was, and the racoons betrayed him. He has considered q!Bad a friend for a long time because he’s always on when Missa is on and is always there to help (though if you ask me I would argue the opposite). He tried finding a way to justify Bad’s behavior, even the stuff chat brings up until he can’t. So, he goes back home and prepares a letter to Phil.
Because he realizes after everything in his life, after continuously trusting and relying on the wrong people, he concludes he can only trust q!Phil.
Missa never really leaves letters. His thing has always been paintings and small gifts. But for the first time (in what might be a long time) he leaves Phil a letter. Now that he’s accepted this is his home, he sees it’s also a place people can use to hurt him, in this case q!Bad.
Notice how when q!Bad came back and said he was gonna prank q!Phil and left, q!Missa immediately ran in to check on the kids? His priority and his fear will always be losing his family. He has spent so much of his life pushing himself a way from them, he doesn’t want to lose them when they’re so so close.
But as always… Missa runs. He runs away and sleeps somewhere else for tonight.
In his defense, I will say that this time it’s different. He’s running to protect his family. Is it the best option? I don’t think so. Missa always has struggled with feeling like he isn’t enough. And in this case, his families lives could be in danger so he runs away, because it’s his fault and he isn’t enough to protect them.
I will say. Things have changed. Because this time around he warned Phil. These two have had SOOO many instances of miscommunication and not talking to one another and we finally have a moment in which Phil is hearing directly from Missa. Not some other character, not his kids, Missa.
And the last thing Missa said when he went to bed. He wasn’t sleeping on a bed, because the only bed he will ever sleep on is the one in his home. LIKE FUCK. Yes he ran, yes he left to protect his family. But that’s his home. That’s where he will ALWAYS return to for comfort and safety. It isn’t a forever. It’s just for now.
For the first time, Missa is certain he will always have a home to return to.
#sorry if this makes no sense#I love Missa cubito so much#I just had to spit this out#qsmp#marv rants#death family#qsmp missa#qsmp philza#deathduo
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it’s 2021. april third life renchanting may altar beheading “this is us, now. this is us” june “a hand to hold until the end. a hand to hold because we’re friends” july mcc team august hermit raiders and rise of treebark. ghosts of 2019— being too scared to ship openly but doing it anyway. treebark quarantine. where is your rider. we bet on losing dogs. fuck it shipping block people is fun, we should do it more. last life. tsuki. red lips. the love crystal that never was. the ren vs martyn finale that never was. last life ethubs— “oh, so hermitshipping can get mainstream”. martyn goes on tumblr. maidtyn. mint maids. ren calls martyn sexy. months before the first treebark week. 2021.
2024. i miss you. if you’re still here. i’m in love with judas. nothing will hit like 2021 third life ever again. trails of crumbs on twitch and tumblr and bits and pieces. real life. the marriage proposal that never was. michigan. shipping is so mainstream that ccs engage with it on twitter. “treebark is the ship name not the platonic name”. containment breaching. ren and martyn. what’s a dm. the summer slips away, blazing hot and swift. no june finale, no july mcc, no august treebark. fantasy smp? more like fantasy. scheduling. ren’s birthday. bbq cheesecake. cheese pie. smuggling. snuggling. rats in paris. new life series. mcc team dropping. welcome back 2021. bantering and innuendos and stupid bits and being “romantic”. renwood mound. ren and littlewood. two beds pushed together. promises in the cave. coming back home. “this is us, now. this is us.” king/hand. captain/lieutenant. and there was only one hammock. actual collabs and not crumbs. it felt so hard, but it feels so easy now. their banter was always this natural, was it? watching them is as easy as letting water slip between your fingers, is it? two cubitos holding hands in every universe— mcc, hermitcraft, third life, twitch rivals, rats smp. it’s you and me till the end. get me a shield and i will follow you to the ends of the earth. barely anything, then everything. 2024.
i love you. you’re still here.
<3
#i am having too much thoughts about THESE FUCKIJG BLOCK MEN#i feel crazy in a way it hasn’t hit since judasbark#wild life spoilers#life series spoilers#treebark
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scrolled through fucking purgatory and back (all the post from the last two weeks on my blog) to find this post again and say that i NEVER LOSE, Roier-Rivis-Mariana-Quackity canon co-parenting this is about to be the funniest shit ever and with CARRE. I AM SPEAKING INTO THE UNIVERSE THAT ONE DAY EVERYTHING WILL ALIGN AND ALL OF THEM WILL LOG IN AND BE EL SHOW DE COMEDIA NÚMERO UNO DE LA TELEVISIÓN MEXICANA (and Argentina<3)!!!
mi brain just processed that with Rivis and Mariana on the same team and the ever present possibility that Mariana logs in we might just get our first canon q!Rivers & q!ElMariana interaction !!! great news to me specifically !!! and we might just get a Rivis-Mariana-Roier interaction and MAYBE just MAYBE a Rivers-Mariana-Roier-Quackity interaction, add Missa to the mix and... well, one can only hope for such times
#me @ myself with the tags: so true still so true#i am totally bised the Mexican cubitos are everything to me#i love those ccs so much#and if you guys think quackitoier or rivioier is funny add mariana to that and its full fucking chaos i live for it everytime#and with carre? you all are about to get COMEDY. look for the among us with those 5 and other creators. they made sosososos funny#rivers#el mariana#roier my beloved#quackity#carre#qsmp
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A letter to the Fable SMP
I'm going to pour my heart out into this post. So sit down, take a breath, and get ready for a walk through all the ways my life has been impacted. This is pretty heavy.
Warnings: discussions of bullying, death of people and animals
If you don't know me; Hi, my name is Rin Silas. You know me better as tumblr user Lucenare.
This starts before Fable began, with a buildup to me losing my love of cosplay, and what brought that back.
When I was in high school, I was a horror SFX cosplayer. I was going to cons all the time, finding my niche in the local cosplay community. Some of my friends came to be professional cosplayers. I did not. When I got diagnosed with POTS, cosplay became hard for me. I wasn't sure how to do it. I stopped being active. My self image plummetted. And one of my "friends" turned out to be an awful person. A professional cosplayer, who was a bully and made that self image worse. I couldn't go to certain cons for years because of her. She would bully people until they left if she saw them-- and she was so popular in the community. It crushed me, to see her rise in the community. It stripped the joy out of cosplay. I didn't *want* to be in this space, and it soured the craft.
I wanted to get back into it, but I was unsure of how. I started working on clothes again, making my outfit for senior prom. At my highest point mentally in all of high school, finally being creative in a way that made me feel good again, with a clear path for college; the world shut down. With all that free time, and multiple generations worth of fabric hordes, I started sewing again. My grandmother got me a graduation present- a heavy duty sewing machine all to myself. No more borrowing my moms. I sewed so many plushies durring that time- but I still wasnt making cosplays again.
And then the DreamSMP happened.
And then I signed up for Tiktok.
And suddenly, I had all of these tiktok cosplayers cosplaying minecraft cubitos all over my feed. No fear, just fun. All different body types- going crazy with it, not being "canon accurate"-- two things my "friend" had strongly ridiculed me for. And it was great. It felt so good, from my heavily sterilized cosplay scene, to see so much freedom and love put into it. I was too scared to cosplay again, but I saw a love put into it that I hadn't seen since I went to BLERD, a smaller local con geared towards minorities. All of these cosplayers- whos names we all know, as so many of them were part of Fable- let me see the love in something that had been taken from me again. And years later, I love cosplaying again. Without this, i don't know if I would have started cosplaying again.
And then those cosplayers started to cosplay their own characters- and they were all *connected*. It was such a pure form of enjoyment- watching people love what they had made enough to cosplay from it. And then I found myself tuning in to Sherbert's streams, mid corruption arc.
And that's how it started. My love for Fable. The impact it had on me- the vessel for healing my relationship with cosplay. I also healed my relationship with makeup in this time.
Throughout 2022, Fable was a source of fun, and something to look forward to. I loved it. It became a hyperfixation. I started cosplaying again, privately. I wanted to show my love for what was bringing me joy. As my grandmother who gifted me my sewing machine's health worsened, I met George witchcrafting in person for the first time, my work closed for remodel, and I became my grandmother's caretaker. Being woken up in the night to help her, until eventually I was sleeping at her house. Stay awake until 3 playing splatoon, wake up and watch whatever fable lore was happening to pass the time around caring for her.
By the end of this, I was waking up at 8 am and going to bed at 3 am, waking my mother up so I could get a couple hours of much needed sleep before doing it all again. Having to call my brother to watch her for a couple minutes at a time so I could go outside and cry. She was only on hospice for a week, that's how fast she got bad. She passed a week before Christmas, the night before my work re-opened. I was the only one awake.
Fable SMP became my escape from the grief and pain. The funeral was the day after my 21st birthday.
In Febuary 2023, I came home from my trip to visit my beloved GB for our anniversary, and my cat was sick. She passed a couple days later. Fable was once again my primary outlet. Being silly on tumblr was my primary outlet. I changed my url on my minecraft blog from craftsunemineku to lucenare. As more random cast members started following me, Ghosty started to mess with me in replies. I never let anyone know my twitch, though. I didn't want anyone to. I wanted to remain an Entity on tumblr.
Until Ghosty send me a meme, with an accidental spoiler of Allerion's mural in it. And that was too funny to pass up. The next time Ghosty was live, I subbed with prime, and hit him with the famed "oh tumblr user ghostyjpg we're really in it now" in my sub message.
I wouldn't be where I am today without that, truly. We were silly goofy, I got goofier on tumblr. I had been wanting to get back into streaming, as I had started to right before my grandmother's health had declined and had to stop almost immediately. I became a mod for Haunt, Ghosty's viewer smp.
In early July, I lost one of my guinea pigs. Jack's partner, Phineas. Phin was a birthday present I got when I turned 17. He was my emotional support for grief especially, and the world took him away when I needed him the most. A month later, the world took away my other cat, too. Three pets, and my grandmother.
Being Tumblr User Lucenare got me through the worst time of my life.
And then I started streaming again. And Ghosty grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and flung me. And because of that, I'm now a streamer, I've made so many friends. I changed my major-- the trajectory my life was on changed.
And here I am.
Without Fable, I would have never healed my relationship with cosplay the way I did. Without Fable, I would never have met the people I have. Without Fable, I wouldn't have started streaming again. Without Fable, I wouldn't have started Terramortis.
I hope that Terramortis can do for someone a fraction of what Fable did for me.
To Heyhay: thank you for being a creator I could look up to. For inspiring me to bring my crazy UV makeup into cosplay. Sorry Rae's Big Naturals ended up being a major bit on my streams, I dont know how that happened. Also thank you for the elytra tutorial on your youtube that is my Rock for texture pack things.
To Sherbert: thank you for helping heal my relationship with cosplay, even before you knew I existed. I will always appreciate that. Thank you for inspiring me to script out CMVs, showing your processes to the world, and inspiring me to change my major to one I actually enjoy.
To Ocie: Thank you for helping me get my dog back from Ethan and Eagle on EOD in season 4. Unbreakable bond of theres a rule written about us.
To Beck: my fellow old bay hater, thank you for joining my smp and all the silly conversations we've had. I cant wait to work with you more going forward.
To Connor: One day we need to make teas together on stream. You are a delight to know and never let anyone tell you otherwise. I can't wait to see where these bugs go.
To Ven: thank you for joining in on the occasional splaturday, even in chat. You are so brave for the costuming you're doing right now, I hope we can hang out more in the future and do cool things
And to Ghosty: Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything. Without you, I don't know where I'd be. Thank you for playing splatoon with me, for the silly messages I get, for all the little spoilers, accidental or otherwise. Thank you for helping me through one of the worst years of my life, before you even knew me. I genuinely did not know if I was going to make it through 2023. I did, in no small part thanks to you. I made it through and I thrived and the foundation for it was so simple. A meme. Some jokes. An accidental spoiler.
It's funny how fast your life can change.
So, to the cast of Fable:
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for building this story and this community. This community that saved me, that guided me through the dark. That allowed me to meet my dear friends that I have now. I am meeting so many people at vidcon this year, so many friends that I didn't have a year ago are now some of my closest.
I can't wait to see what comes next, and I can't wait to create with some of you.
Thank you, so much, for everything.
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hii i wasnt sure who to send this to but qsmp's been coming up on my dash for the better part of a year and ive finally cracked. do you have any recommendations for a total beginner? like is there a playlist i can watch to catch up or can i just start watching wherever? do you have any particular streamer recommendations? love the yuri grind + i appreciate any help you can give^___^
OKIE DOKE SO: first of all the official qsmp recaps i would say are your best friend. this is relatively short.
HONESTLY i think people should just jump in cold turkey and pick a streamer they seem somewhat entertained by and watch their most recent vod. or skip around in it. or watch clip comps
HOWEVER in terms of trying to catch up on All The Lore of a guy you should maybe look at the most recent qsmp member additions (tubbo willyrex nihachu rivers_gg ironmouse carreraaa bagi german germandia lenay polispol tinakitten) and try to look at their most recent story stuff. i think quite literally none of them knew the lore of the server excluding tina meeting leonarda before joining. so their additions are new blank slates to start from!!
qsmp has 4 language groups though (spanish english french and brazilian portuguese) and for the most part the most a lot of lore ends up really intertwined between the members of each language group so if you look into one of them you end up picking up a lot on the other members as well
ANYWAY personally i would recommend etoiles if you like more relaxed/quite streams (& winners povs. Lol) because My Streamer etc. otherwise i also really recommend looking into Slimecicle since he streams very little and has a vod archive and he ends up really involved in a lot of qsmp intense lore moments (but not All of them). his streams also end up shorter (love bbh but i cant in good conscious recommend someone start there. 8 hour streams for 4 months is... a Lot. but i recommend checking in on bbh streams whenever he's live because his ass is always up to Something. Same to foolish if you prefer builder povs. cellbit is also good if you like more intense theory guys like that.) if you want my recommendations for the new group to start with though i recommend tina or tubbo or bagi. all three of them are little crackerjacks and have a lot going on in a very short amount of time that i find fun to watch.
also don't worry if you don't Know every single thing thats happened i can barely keep track of some earlier events because So much has happened on the server since it's started. same to literally every other qsmp fan like everyone here likes explaining about their cubito and rambling because its mcytblr we have autism here. if someone makes fun of you for not knowing every single thing theyre a douche remember the server is for fun and a lot of the series is comedy based in the first place (though still heavy on lore). just try to find a streamer who makes you laugh to watch
if anyone else wants to add on feel free to o/
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has it been long enough now that i’m allowed to say i miss insaneduo (just the character dynamic!!! those two enraptured me and i fear ill never find anything like that again) because i miss insaneduo
#💬 one new message#qsmp#i don’t care for that guy!! you know who i’m talking about!! i’m just talking about the cubitos rn#i love those cubes so much still :((#i need my toxic husbands who never married but are divorced back#i need them#everyday i ponder how to turn that cube into an oc and draw them with qcellbit#just for me
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