#I SHOULD MENTION THAT IT DIDNT TAKE ME THREE MONTHS TO FINALLY LISTEN TO HIS OTHER STUFF THAT WOULD BE CRAZY

[m00ngbin]

this is an absolutely bonkers question i get that but did you get tylerpilled from me or were you already a tyler fan before we started following each other. the only reason im asking is like NOBODYYYYYY likes cherry bomb except for me i feel like grhjgbjhrbjgrbgrhj immaculate taste either way :-)

NONO ITS NOT BONKERS AT ALL

ALSO YEAH LMAO I DID GET TYLERPILLED FROM YOU I HAD NO IDEA WHO HE WAS BEFORE I STARTED FOLLOWING YOU AND THEN I SAW YOUR PINNED POST AND I WAS LIKE "OH WHO IS THIS" AND HERE WE ARE

[persephone11110]

Self Control

Jake Seresin x Reader

Three times you should’ve stopped fucking Jake Seresin, and one time you finally did.

tw:one night stands, insecure reader, KINDA DARK, mentions of sex throughout—DUBIOUS CONSENT fic,Dead Iceman->reader is grieving and doesn’t how to process her emotions properly, asshloe J.S->cheater Jake, they both need fucking therapy!!,—jake abusive childhood Jake chokes reader->bruises, happy ending, the two kazansky children seen in the movie are cannoned just gave them names(Xander,Ana Kazansky),self-slutshaming, reader calls herself whore 2-3x, mavdad—feminist icon

WC : 2.7k

AN: I really can’t tell you how this fic was born tbh, but enjoy❤️, title from Self Control- Frank Ocean

—

THIS FIC MENTIONS SEX ALOT, I PUT DUBIOUS CONSENT BCUS READER & JAKE ARE NOT IN RIGHT STAND OF MIND, PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!!

1. his bedroom

You’ve been thinking to yourself lately,everynight you lie in bed in wondering if you should be tired of doing this?, giving a piece of yourself to Jake Seresin three times a week.

You wondered if the man even cared enough to get to know you, after all you’ve been acting as his bed warmer for the past three months.

But that just it, you were warned of how this would work, you both agreed to emotionless sex— being each other’s fuckbuddies when work got to much to emotionally handle.

As it seemed neither of you had the mental capacity to have a healthy coping mechanism. You sat on your floor infront of a mirror trying to cover up a neck bruise, Jake had a nightmare again—the same one as usual, Instead Jacob Sr was the one doing the choking.

“Jake, Jake!” your throat was closing, Jake hand around throat was tightening—his fingers digging deep into your skin Again. You were begging for him to release you. You stared into his green forest like eyes—their so fucking beautiful.

At first he doesn’t acknowledge your pleading tone, Jakes most likely still stuck in nightmare from hell “Jake please let go”. Your voice was dry now, tears sprung from your eyes as it did his.

A loud thump happened as your body rolled of the bed to the floor. You heard heavy breathing which normally signaled Jake had finally woken up . He banged his head against the headboard loudly. Jake utters a small—“I’m sorry”before leaving you alone in the room to gather himself.

You sat on the floor like fucking obedient dog waiting for Jake to come back and tell you what do next. While you sit there in silence apart of you wonders were the strong Y/n“Killerfrost” Kazansky went, the woman who didnt break a sweat while looking death in the face. The woman who flew more colder than Iceman more crazier than Maverick. What happened?

Death happened,cancer stripped your dad of his life. Sitting at his beside watching him struggle take his last breath, shushing him he because he was pushing himself to use his voice.

Going on base and listening to the Admiral Simpson go over on the speaker and tell the base that Admiral Kazansky—your dad drew his last breathe. Which led you to Jake Seresin bed.

Younger you would be so disappointed in you right now. Younger Y/n Kazansky would rather die before laying down with man who’s ruining their mental health. If someone told you ten years down line you would be fucking one of the worst men as an emotional outlet. You would’ve laughed in their face repeatedly till you passed out from lack of oxygen.

“Tom Kazansky would be so disgusted with his daughter”, a thought lingered around your mind, “Dad wouldnt even want to be in the same room as you”.

You picked yourself off the floor as you heard Jake’s footsteps getting closer. Your legs were bouncy as anxiety was coursing through your veins—flying never did make you feel this, but leave it to Jake‘Hangman’Seresin to.

Jake voice was low and rough,“See you next week”. Before you could say something to the man, he already had his back turned walking away from you.

Your cheeks flush with embarrassment,“How am I falling for a man who doesn’t love me and never will?”. You continue to slip your clothes back on as you toss the thought around in your head, careful of your sore skin. “You should be ashamed of yourself Y/n Kazansky, you were not raised be a whore who re adjust their clothes as a John throws a fucking dollar at them., You were raised with dignity”.

Whore. Y/n Kazansky callsign should be Jake Seresin whore.

Your pressed your head into the shower wall, allowing the hot pressed water to soothe your aching muscles.“I’m so sorry daddy”.

—

2. Family Dinner

You kept tugging at the hem of your turtle neck, it was to hot to be wearing this damn thing in the first place. But last thing you wanted to was to worry your siblings as they had just lost their father. That last thing they needed was their weak sister falling apart at the seams, as if they weren’t either.

Two times a month your siblings held saturday dinner. The idea was to keep up with eachother.

Guess who’s been missing family dinner to fuck Jake Seresin?, the answer is Y/n Kazansky.

You stood on Ana porch quietly, wondering if you should even go in, not wanting the catch the end of your short-tempered sister.

“You plan on standing there till hell freeezes over?”, a voice pulls your from your thoughts, Xander Kazansky was standing behind you with pie in his hands. “Come on sis, Ana been waiting to see you”. He smiled, softly pulling on your wrist to get you into the door. You mirror his smile, forgetting all about last night. You closed the door behind you.

“Hey kid”, you stand there waiting for him to put the pie down before you pull him into a tight hug. Your ruffling his hair, with one hand.

“I have you know Y/n I can legally drink alcohol”. Xander pouts like little kid.

“Y/n didn’t wait until she was twenty one drink”. Ana tone of voice was sour as she gestured the both of you to sit down.

“Ana I—“ Your cut off by her harsh words.

“Y/n the longer you spew bullshit at me the longer its takes to bless the food”. Ana states before bowing her head and closing her eyes.

You and Xander make eye contact before joining her.

“So us non-aviators aren’t good enough for you anymore?” Ana asked you in calm tone, yet you could hear how angry she truly was.

Xander was to busy scraping at his dinner plate, shoving food in his mouth—not wanting to be caught in the middle of his sister’s argument.

You bite at the inside of your cheek unsure of what to say back. Can’t say the truth because then Ana will really flip out if she finds what her little sister been doing lately.

You glanced at your plate again thinking up lie to tell her. “I’ve been busy Ana, since the mission the dagger squad have become a permanent squadron”. Your telling the truth but the full truth.

You pray Ana takes the bone you threw at her and leaves it alone. Ana gave you a dirty look before picking at her broccoli and shoving it in her mouth. Thank god neither of your parents were here as they would’ve picked up on ticks, the picking at your nails, nibbling at your bottom lip.

“Sweetheart you can tell us whats going on you know that right”, your dad would say while nudging your shoulder, “Your off the clock, you can retire Killerfrost till your up in the air”.

You thought Ana had let it go as she stopped acknowledging you, and was only talking to Xander. "I hope that whatever you been doing was worth it Y/n, you haven’t even seen mom in goddamn month”.

“Ana” Xander sighed, he was getting tired of his sister remarks, you didn’t wanna defend yourself anymore, not that you even tried to.

You bowed your head in shame, no longer wanting to make eye contact with either sibling.

“What Xander?”, Ana raised her voice,”It’s the same fucking thing dad would’ve say to her too,I’m getting tired of her acting as if she’s the only one who lost a dad, like mom didn’t lose apart of her”.

You could feel the tears attempting to escape from your eyes. You placed the silverware back in its place, you stood from the dinner table. Casting a look between the both of them—“I’m sorry Ana, Xander” before you walked out of her house with tears rushing down your face.

Your sitting at a gas station thinking about everything, you really were acting selfish.

Maybe fucking Jake Seresin was a bad idea?

You picked up your phone, eyeing the text message. “I can’t sleep Y/n, come over if your aren’t busy”.

And just like that, Jake was telling you to come over it’s like he knew when it was a bad time for you. How dare you say no to him?

You put the key back in the ignition and start to slowly pull out of the parking lot.

Your on the back road, the shortest way to get to his house.

3. All I Could Was Cry

She was standing there with my man.

I heard them promise death do us apart.

A woman who looked like Marilyn Monroe was her descendant hung off of Jakes arm, she wrapped her hand around his bicep. They both shared a smile with one another, “I’m busy tonight Y/n“, he texted you this morning.

They were pushing eachother into the water- her screams of joy as Jake playfully her slammed into the water. She leaned into to him pushing her tongue down his throat.

I was losing the man I loved.

“Falling in love with a man like that is dangerous game Y/n” A familiar voice interrupts your self pity. Uncle Maverick is standing behind you with two beers in his hands and small smile. “Scoot over kiddo” Your sitting on cold sand, pretending to be okay with the scene infront of you.

And all I could do was cry.

“Uncle Mav if your here to give me I’m so disappointed in you speech, I’ve already gave myself one more than once I-“. He gently cuts you off when he pulls you into a tight, rubbing his hand up and down your back.

“Your mom been worried about you, so has your siblings , me and the daggers”. His voice is laced with worry, you hated making people worry about you. “Your flying been…crazy these past couple of months”. Maverick struggles to find more words to say, unsure if he does it might push into Jakes arms.

He was right you been flying like your ass was on fire, and if you’ve been pulling maneuvers even he wouldn’t dare to.

“Ana Kazansky is worried about me?”, Your eyes widen at that,“It didn’t seem like that a couple nights ago when she was going for my head”.

“Ana is like your father, arguing with them is like sitting on the stand defending yourself against a criminal charge”. Uncle Maverick explains with a soft tone, “I would know after pissing your dad off for over thirty years”. You swear he blinks away a few tears before continuing.

“I have everything under control, yes I like Seresin and I understand he doesn’t want me”. You feel indifferent as the lie rolls off your tongue through your mouth. “I’m Killerfrost Kazansky who doesn’t allow her emotions to get the best of her”. Your eyes shift away as you attempt to not hold eye contact with him.

“The same bullshit your father tried to pull with me years ago, your Y/n Kazansky the woman who just her father, the woman who misses her father dearly the man who showed you how to spell your name, the man who managed to get out of deployment early to drop you off for the first day kindergarten”.

Tears pricked at your eyes,“I didn’t think about it that way,maybe i’ve been to hard on myself?”. Your voice cracks with emotion. “As much I hate to say it— It feels nice to be ‘wanted’ by someone, Mav”.

“Kid, I was that man thirty some odds years ago when Goose died, I had sex with any woman who looked my way and said yes”. Maverick pulled away from you, gently wiping away your tears. “It’s going to hurt kiddo for awhile, but I promise you its gets better, the last thing Ice would want is for his daughter to lose herself, to allow a man to tell her how worthy she is”. He presses a kiss into the side of your head“It’s okay to feel emotions Y/n Kazansky”, he said low enough for only your ears.

After leaving you alone with your thoughts, your phone blinks as a notification pops up.

“Y/n I need you over tonight”. Your walking back to the car, hand on the car handle. “10 is good”. Your driving past his house, your driving to your apartment.

4. Happier Again (3months later)

He’s in standing your doorway with roses in his hand, and red wine in the other. When you heard knocking on the door you expected Ana because it almost time for movie night or Harvard because he’s sucks at cooking and needs help. But not him—Jake Seresin was standing in your doorway looking apologetic.

The new you wants to slam the door in his face, forcing him to catch a hint that the nights you spent in his bed were over. Deciding against your gut you decide to allow him in, for what you’ll never know—maybe he’s here to offer a peace offering.

You still had to work with him still— the dagger squadron is permanent till Cyclone and Cain think otherwise.

Jake goes to open his mouth but nothing leaves it, which is a first. The great Hangman is left clueless not a insult dripping with anger and sarcastic comment in sight.

“Come in Jake” He cocks his head to the side unsure if he really should.“If you want stand outside and look stupid thats fine by me”. You turn on your heel,but before you get far he grabs you by wrist, pulling you into a kiss.

The roses, the wine—he loves me, Jake“Hangman” Seresin finally loves me. You feel the old you try to blossom like a dead flower, attempting to sprout back to life.

“Stop!”You shoved at his chest he falls back alittle. “No, I’m not doing this again with you Jake”. Your cheeks are starting to get red,“What about that woman from the hard deck?”.

His lips slip into a tight smile“She and I are going through a rough patch right now”. Jake steps into your apartment, “Y/n its nothing to worry about she wouldn’t know”.

You shake your head at him,“You haven’t changed?”.

“Oh come on darlin it’ll be like old times”, He stands tall, his hangman smile is fully on display.

You scoff, doesn’t he understand what I just said?

“Jake you have a girlfriend, its make you a cheater!” You jabbed a finger into his chest. “Your cheating on your girlfriend”. He doesn’t give a shit.

“And your such a fucking angel darlin, we fucked for how long Y/n?”. His voice is harsh, anger bubbling—getting ready to explode like a volcano. “Were’s ya fucking halo at?”.

“I didn’t know” you yell back at him—standing your ground. The one bad thing you inherited from your dad was his temper, when your button been pushed for too long.“You must fell from heaven when your father casted you out, huh?”. A low blow that was uncalled for, but he’s taking it there.

“I need you darlin, I need to fuck you!”. he screams, your pretty sure you and Jake are one second close to having the cops called for a domestic disturbance.

“You and I need therapy Jake”, your voice returning to a calm tone.“Fucking you was worst shit i’ve ever done, I’ve been using you as a tool”. You step back from him.“Jake you can’t honestly tell me we aren’t ‘broken’ a little bit, sane humans don’t do this shit”.

Jakes eyes were squeezed closed, your cupped his jaw with your hands.“It’s okay not be okay, but its not okay to be doing this”. You sighed,“As much as I want to, its not healthy Jake”.

Jake opened his eyes, tears were rolling down his face. “I’m so sorry Y/n I just needed a break, I needed a break from being Hangman”.

“A smart guy told me once your no longer in the air, there’s no need to fake who you are”. Your eyes are beginning to become teary, “We need help Jake”.

“Your right Y/n” His eyes were still wet.

“Go back your place and try to figure out what went wrong with you and her”. You gently told him. “Work buddies?”. You had hope in your voice, you put your hand out.

A wet laugh fell from his mouth,“Work buddies”. He shakes it.

[hwangsies]

zephyr

(n) a gentle breeze

pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)

genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha

warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking

wc: 10k

enjoy <3

-

September

"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.

You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.

And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.

You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.

"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.

"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.

"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.

"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.

"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.

She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.

"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"

"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"

"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.

"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.

You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.

"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.

She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"

So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.

Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.

"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"

Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.

"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"

"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.

"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.

"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.

"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.

"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.

"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.

"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"

"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.

"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.

"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.

"i dont kno-"

"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.

"you know chris" you rebuttal.

"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.

"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.

"please please please" she jumps once more.

You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.

"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.

"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.

"lia" you groan.

"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"

"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.

"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"

A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"

-

The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.

Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.

“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.

She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.

“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”

“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.

“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.

You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.

The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”

“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.

The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.

“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.

Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.

You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.

“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.

“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.

“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.

“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.

Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.

One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.

Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.

“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.

“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.

“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.

“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.

“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“

“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.

He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.

His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.

“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.

“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.

“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness  “we have a mini bar”

“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”

“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.

“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..

“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”

“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”

Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.

“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.

You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.

“I bet” you joke with him.

“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.

“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.

“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.

“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.

“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”

“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink

“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.

“oh, please dont start like lia” you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”

He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.

-

Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.

Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.

“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.

Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.

“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.

“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.

He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”

“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.

Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.

“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.

“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.

Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.

Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.

Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.

Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.

“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.

“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.

“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.

“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.

“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.

“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.

“yea” he nods.

“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.

“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”

“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.

“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”

“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.

“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.

“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.

“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.

Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.

“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a  double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.

“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.

“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”

He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.

You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.

“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.

“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.

“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.

“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.

“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.

“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.

You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.

“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.

“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.

“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.

You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good” 

His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.

“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.

“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.

“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”

“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.

“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,

“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.

Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.

After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.

“where are they going?” you huff.

“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.

You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.

“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.

“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”

“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.

You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.

“any reason why?” he leans back again.

“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”

“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.

You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.

“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.

You open your mouth to speak but-

“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.

“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.

“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.

“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.

“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.

His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.

“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.

“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.

“what the-” he splutters laughingly.

“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.

He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.

“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.

“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.

“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.

“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.

“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.

The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.

You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"

He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.

"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.

You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.

His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.

You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.

He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.

You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.

“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.

“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.

Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.

“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.

Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.

“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.

“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.

“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.

For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.

“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.

-

This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.

But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.

You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.

A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.

But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.

You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.

Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.

“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.

“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.

“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.

“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.

You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.

“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“

“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.

“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”

You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.

“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.

“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.

“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.

“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.

 October

You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.

When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.

lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm

You roll your eyes, typical you think.

you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm

You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.

lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm

You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.

“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.

“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.

“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.

“hi” you smile timidly.

“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.

“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”

“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”

“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.

“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.

“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.

You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.

“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.

You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.

-

“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.

Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”

“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.

After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.

“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.

“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.

“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.

“why?” you ask back.

“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.

“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even  drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.

“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.

“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”

You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.

“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.

He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”

You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”

“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.

You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.

Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.

“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.

A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.

He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.

You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.

“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?

Yes. Yes you do.

So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.

“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.

Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.

He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.

“now who’s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.

He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.

“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.

You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.

“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.

He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.

“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.

“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.

“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.

“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.

“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.

Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.

“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.

-

“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.

Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.

“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.

“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.

“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.

“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.

“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.

“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“

“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”

You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.

“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.

“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.

“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.

“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.

“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.

“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.

“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.

“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.

“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”

You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”

She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”

“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.

“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.

“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”

“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.

“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.

“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.

“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.

Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”

  November

 “fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.

You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.

“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..

You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.

“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.

You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.

His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.

“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.

You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.

“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.

You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.

“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.

After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.

You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.

“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.

“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.

He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”

“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.

“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.

“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.

You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.

“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.

Woah, wait.

You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.

Mayday. Abort mission.

“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.

You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.

“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”

“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.

“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”

“shut up” you chuckle.

“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.

“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.

You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.

“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.

“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.

"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.

“alright, see ya” you shrug."

And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?

You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.

“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.

“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.

“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.

“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.

“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.

“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”

“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”

“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.

 -

 You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.

“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.

“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…

“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.

“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.

“wow, hi” you hug him back.

Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.

You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.

By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.

After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.

His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.

“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”

He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.

“so do you” he grins.

“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”

“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.

“oh” you huff  “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.

“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”

“I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.

“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.

“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.

“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.

“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.

“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.

“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.

“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.

“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.

“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.

You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.

“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.

“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.

-

 You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.

“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.

“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.

“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.

Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.

Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.

You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.

“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.

“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.

“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.

“on me” he smiles down at you.

“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.

Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.

“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.

“who?” you ask curiously.

“tim” he grins.

“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.

“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.

“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip

“what?” you chuckle.

“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”

“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”

“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.

“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.

“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.

“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.

“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.

“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”

“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.

“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.

“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.

“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.

“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.

You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.

When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.

You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.

When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.

That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.

“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”

But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.

However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.

They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.

Oh.

There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.

“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.

The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-

“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.

“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.

You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.

“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.

You force out a smile.

“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.

“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.

“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.

“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.

“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.

“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.

Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.

“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.

“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.

“true” jisung quips.

“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.

“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.

You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.

“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.

“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.

“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.

“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.

“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.

“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”

“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.

“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.

“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.

You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.

“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.

“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.

After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”

“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.

“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.

“alight see you later” chan nods.

“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.

“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.

 December

”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“

“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”

You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.

“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.

“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”

“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.

-

You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.

“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.

Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.

Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.

“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.

You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.

“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.

After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.

The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.

Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.

“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”

“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.

“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.

“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.

“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.

“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.

A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.

“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.

“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”

“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.

“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.

You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently” 

A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.

You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.

He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.

“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.

“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.

“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.

A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.

The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.

“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.

“nice” he grins, nodding at you.

“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.

“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.

“from the front row, baby”

-

a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)

---

taglist: @kpopscape​ @oopsie-whats-this​ @zhaqifa​ @synnocence​ @changlix-mp4​ + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉  skz with pregnant!reader 

bangchan x reader | first part of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & a tinge of angst

↬ warnings; pregnancy, birth, talk of vomiting, and lots of cursin

↬ notes; fuck i love bangchan sm and im excited dis the first part of daddy!skz o whateva

from the moment he knew, he honestly was scared at first and just wanted to pretend like he wasn’t going to be a father

he needed time to evaluate it all, he was honestly confused and scared, he was nervous and doubtful of his parenting skills and providing eighteen years + many years after for his child

u were nervousssss as helllllllllllllll to tell him what was up

“well, i’m- y’know- baby?” you tried to get out, ur words were hella scrambled and he was confused before he came to the realization of what you meant 

silence which is vv concerning 

u knew this was a shot in the dark sorta, u two weren’t even public on the relationship let alone public about a pregnancy?

u guys ended up taking a break for about a month, really not knowing what to say to each-other

u two were afraid, which was normal, u just rly didn’t expect it from chan of all people to walk away from u

anybody else u could expect,, but this?? this was unlike him & u were more scared by that

he wound up at your place, box in hands

(u were kinda at ur breaking point bc u thought he was returning ur things)

(newsflash it was his stuff)

“i’m sorry, i just— being a father? being a parent, i don’t.. i don’t know anything about it, but nobody does when they become one. so, i’m gonna figure it out with you.”

going through the first sonograms w him & crying a lot while u two talked about the future

ur hormones r going to be the death of chan

u are 0-100 holy mooolyy

hes very careful with his choice of words and how he delivers them, not wanting to upset you

chans first present for the baby is a kangaroo, with a matching little joey 🥺

he also is surprisingly a very big fan of kanga from winnie the pooh, which he buys winnie the pooh stuff for the baby JSJSJSJSJJS just bc kanga & roo remind him of u n the baby 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (i rly need to stop)

u were a lil big, having a cute big bump to pair with ur pregnancy, the inevitable announcement was needed to happen if u were ever going to step outside again

chan rly didnt want to announce it bc he didnt know what peoples reactions would be :(

he knew he was only twenty-seven so some people might think it was a bit too early to have kids, but he thought it was perfect the way it was

u guys hid it until u couldn’t, sparking little rumors of ur pregnancy but u both decided not to confirm them

chan obsessing and literally worshipping you in your third trimester

u in his shirts? he was fuckin over

kisses and cuddling all the time, no matter how tired u were or he was, u two would either fall asleep while doing so or lay there for awhile before u were like

“ok i gotta pee, help me up!!”

no but frfr this baby was torturing u the last stretch of ur pregnancy

it seemed that anything u ate either made u throw up or gave u heartburn

ur stretchmarks were getting worse & it seemed like u were getting bigger everyday

u were very insecure the last months, just cause a lot of comments were talking about a bit of weight gain in ur face, which fuck,, u would never be hurt by some comments but with ur hormones and KNOWING u have put on weight, u rly didn’t feel the same

ofc chan knows whats up and hes there to tell u some r e a l s h i t

“okay, yes. you have put on weight, but you’re pregnant. that’s the good thing about it, you’re healthy okay? whether you had a small bump and no extra weight put on or a big bump and extra weight put on, you are carrying a baby. you can lose the weight when it’s over, right? you don’t need to feel this way, okay? i’m the only one who you should listen to about your appearance, i’m here to tell you the truth. you are beautiful. you are the morher of my child, that’s what you are. you’re not ugly, or fat, you’re not anything bullshit that people say to you.”

when u started crying, chan panicked

“nononononoono, don’t cry baby!”

his arms were wrapped around you so tightly, feeling your face pressed against his shoulder and your arms around his neck

“i love you.” u would be rly quiet and his heart would break at the sound but ur i love you, he just— it was so real and he’d never felt like this before

“love u too.” he’d say that shit so proudly and kiss the TOP OF UR HEAD SO SOFTLY 🥺🥺🥺

when u finally went into labor, u were like wow this hurts a F U CK TOO NNN

u woke up to the bedsheets soaked underneath u, pins n needles were all u could feel

u kinda sat there for ten minutes, scaring urself n making urself nervous when u started doubting yourself and feeling the pain become stronger

ur hands were s hh aa kkyy

u would tap chan so softly and feel a little frustrated he didnt wake up but like how tf was he supposed to feel that 😳

u kinda started crying now because u were STRESSED and him not waking up (no shit ur little tap wasnt gonna work but) it felt like he was gonna sleep forever

so ur hands pressed on chan’s shoulders, shaking them a little bit and letting out a,

“chris?” which ur voice was quiet as hell, shaky as hell, and wavering as you whispered to him

him opening his eyes to see your teary ones n hes just so sad that his heart drops 🥺

he never wakes up quicker though and hes sitting up fast as fuck

“what? what’s wrong?”

ur literally sobbing and hes freaked out by this because u have never cried like this

he kinda just wants to go back to bed since ur just crying but he knows smth is probably wrong because ur SOBBING so

“my water broke.”

now its his turn to be nervous cause fuck he is feeling so unprepared

he said fuck shoes on u, slipping u into his own clothes and helping u into the car so u two could go

did i forget to mention the hospital was an hour away 😳

he wants to pull over hearing u whine n grip his hand, noticing ur quietness and ur little mumbles everytime u rest ur head back after a contraction

he doesn’t give a fuck, he will carry u into the hospital and then put u in a wheelchair from the entrance so u don’t have to walk

u have a feeling maybe hes more nervous than u but atm ur fuckin close to losing it over the pain

u two are settled into a room, epidural done and just trying to make u comfortable now

u were seven centimeters which u still had to wait but u both knew u were close to meeting ur baby

when u are at ten centimeters though, chan is just a ball of tears and he’s just so proud of you

your hand was in his the whole time, chan’s lips near ur ear and he’s just whispering for u to concentrate on him and how much u wanna meet the baby

“i—i can’t do it!” 🥺🥺

you were honestly so drained and ur forehead was laced with sweat, ur hands sweaty and shaking in his own from being nervous and slowly becoming weaker as u put ur strength into pushing

“baby, you are probably what? three pushes, maybe you can cut it to one and a half. alright? you can do this baby, we’re so close to meeting our baby.”

that’s all u needed n chan knew it

surprise surprise,, chan was right about one and a half

“it’s a boy!!” which chan would press his lips to yours so quickly, u two crying and letting out watery laughs as your baby boy cried 🥺

he hasn’t felt this much pride and love since debut or releasing an album or tour, he couldn’t express how gifted he was to have deserved the gift of being a father

ofc they introduce you both to kangaroo care, chan so ready to take off his shirt and feel his baby boy’s skin against his own warm skin and he did so

then it was ur turn to hold him the same way, chan asking u if he could pull down ur gown so u could hold him like he did

that was the picture he needed, snapping it and getting you holding the baby against your naked (ofc ur gown was covering ur breasts) chest, your son sleeping soundly with his hands pressed against you

u two were parents now, u both had learned about pregnancy together and now u two were going to explore parenthood together

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[fookinfandoms]

Life Eternal | Hector Castlevania

Set before Dracula requested Hector’s services. Reader is believed to be a witch, but in reality she just doesn't care for human company.

Pairing: Hector x Reader

Warnings: Language, small mention of smut, mentions of animal death/resurrection. 

Part One.

_________________________________________________________________

They call you a witch, and you never bothered to correct them.

It was preposterous, you were nothing of the sort. You never really understood why the townspeople hated outsiders so much. It had been months since you had settled in, yet you couldn't get as much as a smile from your own neighbour.

There was one woman however that would spare you a few words, that is if you paid her some coin in exchange for her cooked goods.

Was it because you didn't attend church? Perhaps it was because you choose to remain in the company of your dog over the local women's group that congregated every Thursday. The people weren't friendly at all, and you often wondered if you made the right decision in moving to such a tight-knit community. 

You weren't the only outsider however. It had been three weeks after you had moved in when you saw him. 

He wasn't like the others here. 

He kept his head down, his voice to himself. Even when the people would throw abuse at him, he kept his eyes to the dirt. It both saddened and confused you, wondering why such was happening. He didn't look like some brute, nor some boisterous drunk... so why did they all hate him?

Finding the courage to ask the baker, she informed you that he dabbled in dark magic, and was often found talking to wild animals. He lived on the big hill, and she continued to babble on about how he was rumoured to bring animals back to life. This surprised you, and you asked for more information but she held her hand out for more coin.

It didn't bother you as much as it should, for you spoke mainly to animals too. Your small companion - a beagle named Rhubarb. He was your best friend and the only family you had left. He wasn't everyone’s cup of tea that's for sure, often stealing fish from the baskets from local fisherman. 

This was life. 

It was Rhubarb and you against the world, that is until you came home from your weekly trip to the market, having bought new blankets for the two of you when you found Rhubarb lying on the side of the road. 

He stayed unmoving, even after calling his name twice. Rain poured down heavily, and you wondered why the silly dog hadn't run under a tree yet. You knelt down by his side, placing your basket by his head. 

He still didn't move, and your breath caught in your throat.

It took you some seconds to realise he wasn't breathing, and you screamed out in anguish at the sight. Your hands shook as you pulled his small, limp body into your arms, holding him in an embrace as you sob.

His fur was darkened in harsh line, and you knew someone had purposely run over him with a carriage. He knew better than to play on the road, but being an older dog, he wasn't as quick as he used to be. 

He was your life. 

Rhubarb still had years ahead of him, running past your feet and stealing fishes from baskets. Who would be so cruel to run over a dog? On purpose? 

The tears wouldn't stop falling. Was this your curse in life? Everyone you loved being taken away from you?

No. 

If there was a way to bring him back, you will have to try. 

You wrap Rhubarb in one of the new blankets, careful not move too quickly. There was only one destination on your mind, and you hoped the baker was right. The rain had soaked through your dress completely, clinging to you like a second skin.  

Your hair blew in the wind, tangling into a mess, and tiny sobs still escaped you as you cuddled your beloved friend in your arms. 

You weren't sure how long you had been walking for. Minutes? Hours? It felt like days by the way you shivered in the storm. In reality it had only been twenty minutes, but each step felt like an eternity. If this didn't work, you didn't know what you would do. 

The sky had long since turned dark, and you felt no fear as you walked. Finally, light could be seen ahead, and you silently prayed to whoever was listening that he was home. Lighting struck from behind you, and your breathing came out harshly as you trudged up the hill. 

You wouldn't be surprised if he couldn't hear your kicks against his front door over the sound of thunder. Your hands were full, and you were sure your toes would be bruised over how hard you kicked. 

The door didn't budge, and so you kicked again, over and over. 

The tears continued to fall, and desperation came out in small cries as your arms grew weak from the heavy weight. 

“Please,” You yell out. “I know you're in there! Please!”

The door finally opens, nearly causing you to lose balance. He stands in front of you, face full of anger at the intrusion. 

“What the bloody hell do you want?” He peers down at you in confusion, his eyes staring into yours. If it weren’t for the fact you were currently shivering and holding your deceased dog in hand, you would’ve said something about his unique appearance. “Well?”

“Y-you have to help me,” You held Rhubarb closer to you. “They s-said you could help!”

The man pays no attention to the bundle in your arms, instead choosing to shut the door. He doesn’t get the chance however, as your foot wedges itself before it could close.

“What are yo-“

“He didnt deserve this!” You cry, ignoring the pain shooting up your leg at the sharp movement. The rain pours even harder, and there’s not one part of you dry.

“He?” The man questions, and instead of replying, you peel back an edge of the blanket, revealing a limp paw.

His eyes narrow slightly, before he looks back to you. “What are you asking of me here?”

“I think you know exactly what I’m asking.”

“The last time I helped somebody,” He shakes his head. “It didn’t work in my favour. Leave.”

“I will pay you anything, I will slave away in the kitchens if I have too,” Begging was your last resort. “I will give you myself for Christ’s sake! Just please help him!”

He sighs, his head looking towards the ceiling as if in deep thought before letting the door open again. He steps aside, signalling for you to enter. You do so quickly, immediately feeling better at the warmth. It didn’t help that your clothes were completely drenched. Gods, you probably did look like a witch right now.

“Well?” The man says from behind you, and you turn your head. His arms are outstretched, asking for you to pass the animal over.

Your teeth clatter as you shiver yet again, but you gently pass Rhubarb over to the stranger. He takes him with as much care, and your hands immediately begin to rub at your upper arms for warmth.

He begins to walk away, further into the house and you follow suit. A cat runs past your feet as you pass through a hallway, and it’s then you notice half her face missing. It surprises you to find that you’re not scared, and the further you look around the more you begin to notice plenty more pets.

“Don’t pay them any mind, they won’t harm you.” The stranger mumbles ahead, and you whip your head in his direction.

“I’m not worried, they seem pleasant.” Your tone matches his, and he chuckles. He stops, turning his head around with a forced grin.

“Pleasant. They’re dead. They don’t like strangers, so don’t get too comfortab-“ As if on cue, another cat rubs their head against your leg, and the stranger frowns. “Well that’s new.”

“Most animals like me, even the dead ones I guess.” You shrug, bending down to pet the cats head. It’s stomach is exposed, and your heart aches knowing the animal must’ve suffered before meeting the magic man.

“And this one?” He nods towards the bundle in his arms, and your bottom lip quivers. He begins to walk again, and you wipe away a stray tear.

“T-that’s Rhubarb,” You stand, following once more. “I’ve had him since I was young.”

“So old age got him then.”

“No,” The man was taken back by the sudden change of your tone. “Someone in the town killed him on purpose, they don’t like me and they certainly didn’t like him.”

“Bastards.” His jaw clenched at the news.

“I guess it was easier to kill my boy than it was to kill me.” He nods in agreement.

“They’re scum, all of them.”

It was your turn to nod. Finally the two of you came to a room, a stone table laying in the centre. Various knives stood at the side, and your stomach dropped.

As if sending your unease, the man shakes his head. “I’m a forge master, there is no need to worry about those.”

It didn’t exactly help calm your nerves, but realising the man was actually a forge master and not some magician made more sense. Forge masters weren’t exactly liked in the world, much to your confusion.

“I’m Hector,” Hector places Rhubard down on the table, removing the blanket off of him. “And you are?”

“(Y/N),” You stood in the back as Hector moved around. His movements were graceful, and your chest tightened at the site of your beloved pet. “I moved here recently.”

He chuckes. “I thought as much, we don’t get many of your kind here.”

“My kind?” The air turned colder by the second, and you slowly made your way to the fireplace in an attempt to warm up, keeping your eyes on the forgemaster.

“Good-hearted.” His hands rest of Rhubarbs stomach, petting him as if he were alive.

“How do you know I’m good hearted? I don’t think even forgemasters can read souls.”

“You offered me your body in exchange for your dogs life,” He looks back at you with a genuine smile. “Not many people would do that. No sane person at least.”

“Most sane people have others in their life to keep them as such, I only have him.”

“Well let me just say that there will be no need for such payment, I can see you care deeply for him.” Hector reaches for a peculiar shaped coins. “But you may want to look away, it gets quite bright.”

You do as he says, choosing to look at the fire. The room grows dark as Hector works, and you close your eyes, silently hoping for success. Minutes go by, the sound of metal on metal ringing through your ears as you breathe out quickly.

The ringing continues for sometime, before the whole room goes quiet. The only sound heard is the cracking of the fire, that is until a familiar bark startles you.

Your eyes open, and you’re met immediately with a beagle at your feet, jumping onto his hind legs in an attempt to climb on you. You fall to your knees, your arms surrounding Rhubarb as he licks at your cheeks. His eyes are no longer a dark brown, instead a shimmering blue. You didn’t care, all that mattered now was that he was alive.

“Oh my darling boy,” You cried, letting the small dog climb into your lap. “My sweet, sweet boy.”

Hector wipes his hands with a clothe, before clearing his throat.

“You have to let me pay you somehow,” You sniff as Rhubarb continues whining for attention. “You have a gift Hector.”

“Others don’t think so.” He laughs, throwing the clothe onto the table.

“The others can go jump off a cliff for all I care,” The beagle in your lap jumps away, turning his attention to Hector for pats. “You saved him, that matters to me.”

“Yes well right now you’re getting my floorboards wet,” Hector kneels down to Rhubarbs level. “So if you’re wanting to pay me somehow, you can pay me but dressing into something more comfortable and staying.”

Your stomach drops at his words, and as if realising his own innuendo, he stumbles over his next words.

“N-no not like that! I just m-mean it’s too dangerous to return home right n-now,” Hector coughs, his cheeks turning a small tinge of pink. “You know with the storm in all, and it would’ve been a w-waste of both our efforts tonight.”

In just a span of a few minutes, Hector went from a cocky forgemaster to a blubbering mess. It made you giggle, and he releases a few small chuckles himself as he scratches the back of his neck.

“Alright, I’ll stay.”

[sunsinrinn]

Secrets Part 8.

Bakugo x reader, Bakugo x Uraraka, Kirishima x Reader

Fluff- ish, language, angst

Word Count: 1,520

Idea: Y/n has a secret to share with bakugo not expecting a secret from him. She leaves heart broken and attempts to move on. But how will she move on if her secret can no longer be hidden? She fakes a relationship hoping its enough to not expose the true origin of the secret. (This is a terrible summary but I cant say much without spoiling future parts. 🙃)

Earlier,

Kirishima was walking to the cafe to meet up with Bakugo. God he hoped Bakugo was actually wanting to apologize. He hated that he hated him. He wished he could hate him, but being his best friend for years, and *maybe* wanting to be more than friends with him just make it impossible to hate him. Yes, he was furious for treating you like he did because he loved you too.

When he arrives at the cafe, he takes a deep breath before entering. When he’s inside he looks for him but cant find him. Not until he sees a hobo looking man with oddly familiar hairstyle. He approaches Bakugo and notices he was not in the best place, mentally and physically.

“Bakugo” kirishima’s voice is soft but still causes Bakugo to jump.

“Oh its you Kirishima.”

“Yeah, what did you want to talk about?”

“Right to the point I see...

I- I just want to apologize for the pain Uraraka and I caused Y/n-“

“Shouldn’t you be saying this to Y/n?”

“I- yes but I wanted to talk to you first... Look, the day of the baby shower after I left I saw Uraraka fucking another guy in my house.”

“Seems like you got what you deserve then. Is this why you’re apologizing?”

“Kirishima! Let me fucking talk shitty hair”

“Fine. Continue.”

“THANK YOU! Anyways, I yell at her to leave and before she does, she said something about manipulating me into cheating on y/n. I asked how she did it but she said it was a secret. I was confused because i don’t fucking remember being manipulated in any way. But anyway, She said she only slept with me to hurt Y/n. And then she was the anonymous tip that told the news and everyone y/n was cheating on me. To hurt her.”

“Wait- URARAKA WAS THE LEAK-“ Kirishima looks pissed of as hell.

“Yes, and I did not know anything about it. After she left I fell into a depression.” Bakugo looks embarrassed to admit that.

“Shit Bakugo, is that why you look like shit?”

“I don’t look like shit, thank you very much.”

“You do.” Kirishima feels bad for Bakugo, and without thinking he asks,

“Why don’t you come live with us for a while?”

Bakugo looks taken aback and hesitates.

“Are you sure Y/N would even want me there?”

“I don’t know... but I doubt she would refuse you, especially in your state.”

Bakugo looks conflicted about the offer but finally speaks up.

“I’ll go... but only if she agrees first.” Bakugo says in hopes to be able to talk to you and apologize and take him back. No, you won’t you have Kirishima...

Kirishima, the man who stuck with him through thick and thin, until he didn’t. He really did miss you and he also missed his best friend. He knew that if he never knew you, he would have dated Kirishima, but Kirishima doesn’t like guys. And now he has you and his kid.

Kirishima nods and nervously dials your number.

When you pick up both men perk up at your voice,

“Hello? Kirishima? What’s up?”

“Hey Y/N! How was the appointment? Is Mina there? MINA WHATS THE GENDER?”

“IM NOT TELLING YOUR ASS ANYTHING, KIRISHIMA! YOU KNOW THAT!”

You laugh and shake your head, “What’s up Kiri, why’d you call?”

He’s silent and sighs, and he hears your voice ask nervously,

“Kiri?”

“Y/n.. I need to ask something of you.”

He hears silence and thinks you’ve hung up but soon hear a response,

“What is it?” You ask shakily fearing the worst.

“I- I don’t know how to phrase this but I finished talking to Bakugo.”

“How’d that go.”

“Well he told me a few things. And he does not look like he is in a good place right now...”

“Oh no...” he hears sadness in your voice.

“And I suggested him live with us for a while....”

He hears your hushed voice talking to someone else, who he assumes is Mina.

After a minute of silence he hears you speak up again and Bakugo listens closely for your response.

“Kiri... I- I- yeah, its fine...” you sound unsure.

“Y/n if you dont want him there you can say so...”

“No no, its fine...”

Bakugo’s face falls at her answer sensing how sad and unsure you sound.

“T-thank you so much Y/n” Bakugo says.

There’s silence but again you speak up, “Y-yeah anytime.”

“I gotta go Kirishima. I’ll see you and Bakugo when you both get home then”

“Bye y/n, love you and see you soon. Tell Mina I said good bye as well”

You hum in response and hang up.

Kirishima and Bakugo get up and leave the cafe and head to Bakugo’s house to pick up a few things.

When Kirishima enters his house, he notices how overwhelmingly pink it is, “I didn’t know you liked pink...”

“I hate the fucking color. That bitch decorated the house like this.”

“Oh, okay. Well if you want me to help you pack a few bags?”

“Sure, make yourself useful”

Kirishima sighs but goes into the bedroom and helps him pack clothes.

After a moment of silence Bakugo speaks up

“Thank you.”

Kirishima looks up confused and bakugo elaborates more

“Thank you for hearing me out and taking me in”

“Oh- yeah anytime”

“Did- did taking me in bother y/n?”

Kirishima thinks for a while before answering,

“I don’t think she was bothered but more taken aback by the news.”

Bakugo hums, “You asked about the gender of the baby?”

“Oh yeah- Mina and her were going today to find out the gender but Mina won’t tell us. She’s hosting a gender reveal party. But only because she wants to one up Izuku and Shoto, since they’re the god parents.”

Bakugo nods sad that you’re building a life with out him. He really misses you and misses Kirishima.

After finishing packing they head home. Bakugo pays close attention to where they turn so he remembers where you live and sees the apartments right ahead.

As they reach the apartment and walk inside, it looks two times bigger than it should.

“Oh yeah, forgot to mention, we knocked down the wall separating mine and her apartment so now its one huge apartment.”

Bakugo just nods and stares at you as you come out of the kitchen. He notices your wobbling a bit and thinks again about how you’re way to big to only be 4-5 months pregnant, but that would mean you were pregnant with his child.

“Hey guys. Do you guys want anything specific for dinner?” You ask maintaining eye contact with Kirishima.

“Um, I don’t know yet, Bakugo?”

“Huh- oh whatever you guys want...”

You purse your lips but speak again, “Here then, I’ll help take your things to your room”

As you reach for his bags he pulls them away, you glare and Kirishima hands you a bag, “Best not argue or resist against her Bakugo. She’s in the mood swing stage” Kirishima jokes and you send him a fake glare.

“Wow- Kirishima so fucking mean.”

You grab the bag and head to Bakugo’s room. Both follow you and notice you had already fixed up the room for him to his liking. You set the bag down on the bed and head out.

“I’m going to lay down for a bit Kiri, and then I’ll start dinner.”

“Take your time babe”

Both men begin to unpack and put away Bakugo’s things and once they finish they smell food and head out to see you setting the plate down.

“Good, you both are here. Dinners ready.”

They are about to sit but you stop them. “Did any of you wash your fucking hands?”

The look on their face as they get up and clean up is hilarious

As soon as they are done, the three of you sit and eat in silence.

After dinner you pick up the dishes but Bakugo insists on cleaning them as a thank you, you finally relent and sit on the couch with Kirishima. Once Bakugo finishes he lets you both know he is retiring to bed.

As soon as he walks out, you look over at Kirishima when he clears his throat.

As soon as Bakugo heard kirishima clear his throat he stands still and listened to what they were saying.

“So, Y/N does it bother you that he is here?”

You stay silent for a while before answering with a simple no.

“Y/n, are you sure? I can always tell when something is wrong...”

“It doesn’t bother me Kiri, I’m just afraid he will find out the fucking truth. I mean its not long before i POP out the kid. He will know that I lied about how far along I am... I don’t want him to know he is the fucking father-“ you says kinda loudly.

“I get it y/n, but he looked so vulnerable and alone, I couldn’t leave him like that...”

“I know baby, I wouldn’t either...”

Bakugo freezes when he hears your words

‘IT’S MY FUCKING KID SHE IS CARRYING’

SERIES MASTERLIST — Part 9

A/N- three chapters in one day? Granted, one was supposed to be posted yesterday, but anyways- i HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER. I hope you guys tell me what you think- its spicy- anyways

If you’d like to be tagged in future parts or future works dont hesitate to dm, ask, or comment! I hope you guys had a lovely day today! Also if you asked to be tagged and I didnt tag you send me a dm so I can fix it :)

@hero-ink-pillar , @silentw-lkr , @ushiwakatrash , @purple-rabanito , @chaelysian , @puppycat714 , @fake-id-69 , @adaydreaminganon , @jessie9008 , @sam-i-am-1025 , @purple--nebula , @curiouslilbeast , @httpswwwtbhkcom , @setup-the-ace

[tobesensation-9]

‘When You Fall’ Pt. 1 (Youngbin x Reader)

Genre: Angst, Romance (Mentions of breaking up, heartbreak, grief, fluff) 

Synopsis: Inspired by Sam Kim’s song, You and Youngbin recollect memories of your past relationship after running into each other one year later. 

December 1st 

You thought you had set your alarm for 9:15am today. But when you rolled over and picked up your ringing phone from your nightstand and swiped to answer the call without thinking, you realised it was way passed 9:15am. 

“Y/N! Where are you!” Your mother yells over the phone.

You snap out of your grogginess and sit up in bed. You were supposed to meet with your mom to help her shop for Christmas gifts for your family at 9:45. You remove your phone from your face to look at the time and it’s 10:30. Oops.

“I’m sorry mom. I had a tiring day at work yesterday so I overslept. Go ahead and start without me, I’ll catch up with you. Just tell me what store you’re in when I get there.”

“Okay sweetie. Don’t have me waiting too long okay? I’ll treat you to some lunch when you get here too.”

“Okay. Thanks mom. See you soon.”

You’ve been feeling stagnant lately, like all your hard work hasn’t been recognized. You’ve been working super hard at work, work on a new PR project for a clothing store and it was eating you up. You also had to worry about all the gifts to get you family and try to make your siblings and nieces especially feel batter about the holidays this year with everything happening.

But there was something else that had you feeling a little down. Your phone buzzes at a news article notification your received and as you look to see you notice the date.

December 1st. It’s been a year already? Was it just ironic? A coincidence? No it couldn’t be.

You look up and talk to nothing in particular, referring to the universe, “You did that to remind to let go right?”

You give a small smile and shrug standing at your sink counter. You look at yourself in your mirror holding eye contact. Yeah, it’s definitely because of that. Because of him.

November 28th

You and your best friend are over your place for drinks after a hard week at work.

“And then he said, ‘Liv, can you go replace the paper in the copier for once. It doesn’t seem like you ever do that. It’s nice to try something new.’ How could be assume I never replace the printer with paper! He never asked hey, ‘Hey Liv did you leave the printer empty?”

Your friend crushes her third canned beer and reaches for another can. “Oh, we only have one more.”

You look up at the coffee table from the floor. “Oh yeah.” You were kinda tipsy yourself having crushed three beers yourself. “I’ll go and grab some more from the convienece store. I’ll be back.”

Your friend nods and grabs another piece of fried chicken to eat with her new can of beer. You threw on an over-sized sweatshirt not caring to change your pajama pants and some sneakers on with your hills hanging out. You didn’t even bother to but the shoes on all the way. Two minutes you walk into the store go straight back to grab two boxes of beer and look for any ramen and chips your could add to tonight’s menu. As you walk to turn into the aisle with ramen you bump into someone’s arm.

“Oh sorry.” You nod quickly without any regard to looking at their eyes and keep it moving.

“Um.... y/n?”

You stop in place, frozen. You turn around at the familiar voice.

“It’s you isn’t it?”

You look up at the figure talking to you. As you looked up and scanned the body, something about it was strangely familiar. Once you reached the half-covered face you knew exactly who it was. You didn’t even need to see the whole face, you knew who it was just by his eyes.

“Oh. Hey Youngbin.” Your greeting, you didn’t know if it sounded too excited or if it was too forced. You definitely didn’t want to sound unhappy, although happy wouldn’t be the word to use to describe how you felt seeing him after all this time. Your stomach performed somersaults as he giggled a bit and greeted you back. You could tell he was smiling, his eyes were crinkled in the corners, even with him wearing a face mask.

A genuine smile, you didn’t know how he could show you such a thing, after so long. Part of it still pained you, another part of you missed it. A lot.

“Have company?” He asks eyeing the boxes of beer you were holding.

“Yeah just me and Liv.” You try to ease yourself away to scan the ramen options. Then you remembered that your had sirloin at the house, so you decided to get the instant noodles packs for Chapaghetti.

“If you’re getting more things I’ll take this.” Before you can object, Youngbin already holds the two boxes of beer and motions you to go ahead and pick the ramens you were eyeing.

Once you pickup the packs of ramen and some bags of potato chips, you sit your items on the counter. When you do Youngbin sits his two items on the counter as well and tells the cashier that all of the items were his. “No you don’t have to I’m-”

“I know how you can get when you drink a little after working. You didn't bring cash did you?” 

You check your sweatshirt pocket and realise that you did leave the apartment without any cash. You looked down and felt your face getting hot. 

After he paid for everything he hands you the with your ramen and his two drinks as he holds the beers. “What are you doing?” 

He looks at, raising his eyebrows, “C’mon I’ll take this for you. You still live a couple minutes away right?” 

Your face was starting to feel hotter and hotter by the minute. “Y-yeah.” 

He starts walking in the direction of your apartment and you trail behind him, hesitantly. Why was he doing all this? You guys ended on such a sour note, well at least that’s how it felt. Did he not feel that way? 

Your thoughts questioned his actions more and more. You over-analysed so much to the point where you didn’t even realize you were at your apartment building until Youngbin said something. “Ahh..could you grab the door me?” You shake your head and realize that you were about to pass your own apartment building. You walk back mutter a “sorry” and pushed the door open for him. He giggles behind you to himself as you pressed your floor number not the elevator. 

The whole time the two of you walked, you hadn't uttered a word to each other. That was until he asked you a question the minute the two of you walked into the elevator and the doors shut. 

“That voicemail I sent you that one time,” your stomach immediately dropped at the subject. “Did you ever listen to it?” 

Maybe about a few months or so after the two of you separated he called you randomly one day and left a voicemail. You’ve always wanted to listen to it, but you were too scarred. You’d always hover your finger over the play button, a curious part of you wanting to listen to the two minute voicemail, the part that missed you. But the hurt part of you, the part of you that wanted to hold a grudge, wouldn't allow you to. 

“I...uh. I honestly count bring myself to listen to it.” 

You see him look over at you through your peripheral and he stars at you. You never look back over at him. He then gives a “hmm” and nods. You finally reach your floor and the two of you walk out to your door. As you pull out you enter your code on your door security system you here quietly say behind you , “Whenever you’re ready, just let me know.” At that you quickly push the door open, hand him his bag, take the beer and rush into the apartment. 

“Y/nnnnnn! What took you soooo longggg,” Liv whines as you put everything down and try to hurry up and hand her a beer before she notices Youngbin hovering in your doorway. “Yeah I know I'm sorry. Here.” But as you try to han her the can of beer from the box she turns around makes instant eye contact with Youngbin.

“Oh, wait y/n is that Youngbin? Youngbin?” 

She stumbles to get up and waves happily at Youngbin. He waves back and asks her how she’s been. 

“So are you guys back together? Why didn't you tell me? I would've understood, but you didnt have to keep it from me.” 

Before Youngbin could say anteing you immediately deny with a sharp “no” hand her, her beer and try to dismiss Youngbin. “Well he has to go now, I'm just gone send him off, say bye Liv.” 

“Byeeee come back soon. Y/n still misses you by the way, you still have a chance. I’ve always rooted for you!” 

You slam the door behind you, but he could already what she said. You see him smiling under his mask, just by looking at his eyes again. 

“I see Liv is still, Liv.” “Yeah..” The two of you stand in front of your door for the longest time not saying anything, before he says “Well, I should get back.” 

“Oh yeah, um.... thanks for the help.”

His eyes smile at you. He nods and turns around toward the elevator. A part of you wanted to ask what he meant by “let me know when you’re ready.” Before you could stop yourself you yelled his name and walked over to him.

“Yeah?”

You stop and stare at him studying what you could see of his face. “What did you mean?”

“By what?”

“When you mumbled let me know when you’re ready?”

He looks into your eyes and holds eye contact for a few seconds. By the time the elevator dings and the doors open he just says, “The voicemail will tell you.”

He steps into the elevator and turns to you and says, “Just let me know when you’re ready.” Then the doors close.

December 1st

You take a quick shower before getting ready and you jump in the car to finally meet your mom.

When you arrive at the shopping center, you call your mom to see what store she’s in. Not so ironically it was a store that you and Youngbin would go to all the time. One of his favorites.

You walked into the store and found yourself mom in the men’s clothing section of the store looking for clothes for your dad.

“Hey sweetie are you okay?”

“Yeah like I said just tired from work. Did dad want new clothes?”

She turns around to you with a jacket in hand to get your approval. 

“Do you know your father asked me to get him a jacket. I looked up pictures of jackets from different stores to show and he didn’t like any of them. Not long after that, I see him looking up jackets to bye. I had to scold him right then and there. It already hard to buy gifts for him and he just has to make it harder on me.” 

You just look at your mom, smile and shake your head, it sounds like something your father would do. 

“So what do you think about this one?” 

She holds a black windbreaker jacket, it seemed like it was perfect for your dad. “I thin he’d love it. It’s perfectly his style.” 

Walking around and shopping with you mom was a good escape from your memories of a few days ago. Along with all the memories of your passed relationship from almost two years ago now. 

You soon arrive at a cafe, find an area away from large groups of people and talk to your mom for a little bit. You order a latte and and a bacon grilled cheese sandwich. Your mom orders cranberry juice and a Caesar salad. She asks work, friends, and other things. Along with those things she mentions Youngbin, you guess she too realised its been a year since you broke up. 

“I um....actually saw him the other day.” The minute you say this your mother stars at you, her eyes glazed with sorrow. She knew how much the break up affected you, its not that she pitied you because she knew you were strong. But she looked to make sure you were okay. 

“Really? How?”

“I was drinking one night with Liv. Went to the convenience to get us some more beers and ran into him there. He helped me with my things and walked me home.” 

“He was always sweet. Thats one thing that will never change.” 

You nod. “You know that voicemail he left me, he asked me about it.” 

Her eyes get wide and she raises her eyebrows, “Really? You still haven't listened to it right?” 

“Yeah I haven't. When I told him that he just nodded and told me to let me know when I’m ready.” 

“What does that mean?” Your mom expressed the frustration that you felt inside, stabbing her fork into her salad and eating some lettuce and cucumber. 

“He just told me to listen to the voicemail and I’ll find out.” 

You hug your mom and kiss her on the cheek once you helped her take all the gifts to your parents house. You see your father in passing to and give him. hug and a kiss. You wanted to stay to talk to your dad but you weren't really in the mood. Talking about Youngbin again, made you feel a lot of things you couldn't explain. Sad, frustrated, angry, insecure. All the feelings you felt when you first broke up came rushing back to you. 

You came home and stripped yourself of your clothes immediately, walking to your bathroom and running water in the bath tub. You submerged yourself into the filling tub, and laid your head back against the cool tile. Suddenly a tear rolled down your cheek as you laid there, in the warmth of the tub. Normal crying was easy to let out, with sudden emotions, but pent up emotions, resulted in strained crying. Strained crying always had you slightly hyperventilating, with those repetitive gasps and a strained and pained throat. This was the type of cry you were going to have because of him, you knew it.

Pt. 2 Coming Soon!

[hermits-that-craft]

so i came up with a basic story plot on discord if anyone wants to use it (under the cut)

Basically - Fantasy ish au where stress, grian and joe were kidnaped by watchers and there’s a rebellion

have fun, if you want to write it tag me i would forever be in you debt

So, Stress right? She's a princess of sorts, her family rules over a small area and is kind, though their powers are ice and the area is too far north to produce stable crops year round. She's raised with her siblings, and she loves her area with more of her heart then she can ever say. Visitors - friend and foe alike - say that the frozen lands are the kindest and most peaceful areas around.

However, it doesn't stay that way.

Watchers come and ransack her home, kidnapping her and her siblings before anything can be done to stop them. Stress' parents, although not nearly strong enough to fend off watchers, try their hardest to stop the group from taking their children. Nothing comes of their efforts, but the thought is kind and the price is high. Stress won't know what happens to her parents and people for years, but she knows deep down in her heart that there is nothing left of her home.

The watchers train the teens, or they attempt to. Stress was the only one who did not take her leave through unconventional manors. She survived not through perseverance but through stubbornness, and a fear of dying. Her siblings had one or the other, but not both. None of them would bow to the watchers, but Stress played a careful act of pretending that she did.

The watchers, after deciding that Stress had been trained enough, allowed her to share a room with two other people. Those people were two men who had suffered a similar fate as she did. They had survived where others had not, and now they were chosen by the watchers to room together.

The first few months were tough, Stress had no way of knowing if Xelqua or Poet shared her views and it was clear to her that they didnt fully trust her or each other as well. It was only when, in a moment of stupidity or forgetfulness, Stress sang a song that her sisters would sing that the group stared to warm up to each other. They spoke freely as they could, Poet knowing enough magic to block off the watchers control and Xelqua know enough magic to block any noise from their rooms. Stress told them her real name, and she discovered that Poet is a man named Joe Hills, who hails from a small island that doesn't have a proper name, though he calls the town 'Tennessee' and his house  'Nashville'. He was of noble decent and was a powerful wordsmith, so when the watchers came and ransacked his home they took him as well.

Xelqua, she discovered, was a man by the name of Grian. Grian was chaotic, a prankster and a thief who lived in a large city. His family was rich but not noble of character, and the avian took to stealing things from his home and reselling it to gift the money to any poor people he came across. He was taken as a teen as well, and taught by watchers in a similar way to Stress, with some people who were kidnapped from the streets with him. He struggles to call those people 'friends' after Taurtis and Sam, his closest confidants and best friends, betrayed his thoughts to the watchers, and fell for the watchers propaganda. Grian refuses to talk about what the watchers did to him, but Stress can tell from the scars on his back and his clipped wings that it was something that shouldn't be repeated.

The group holds fast to each other, trying desperately to both stay alive and stay themselves in the hellscape that is the watchers home. Stress plays her role well, as the only person who was raised in royal courts she knows how to bow to someone who does not deserve it. Joe and Grian both struggle, their morals overtaking their abilities to keep themselves out of harms way. It is only after the watchers realise that to hit them where is hurts, so to speak, would be to hurt someone they care for that they learn to act.

Stress doesn't lose hopes, though she knows that the world outside is different to how it was, she refuses to lose her hope. When Grian questions her about it, she tells him that its the only way to stay herself in a place like this. Joe only listens, nodding along but not saying anything, though when he is questioned on it he agrees with Stress. He had been with the watchers for less time than Stress and Grian had, having been taken as an adult, but he also lost his entire family to the watchers.

Stress finds herself considering the two men her brothers, her found family that is there for her, and she begins to worry about losing them. She doesn't want to, she finds it so unfair that she should lose another brother, another friend, to the watchers that killed her family, that she withdraws from them. Of course, they notice, and it doesn't do anything except to make them worried for her. Eventually, through either necessity or through accident, Stress tells them about it. The two men understand, telling her that they consider her a sister as well, and Grian jokes about finally having siblings. The group holds onto each other, that night, letting each other talk over how they feel.

News doesn't come to the group often, the watchers trickling news to them as though they are children that needn't hear about the negative things happening in the world. However, news of a rebellion reaches their ears through the whispers and mutterings that echo throughout the keep. They hold fast to the hope of a rebellion, to the idea of freedom. They don't speak of it often, nor do they think on these ideal, but at night they find themselves dreaming of freedom. Stress sings more, Grian offers to show the two around his home city, and Joe tells tales of the vineyard that he grew up in.

While tales of the rebellion spreads, the small group is forced through tests and experiments that give them more powers that they cannot fathom to use. Stress wakes one morning with wings and the ability to control plants. Joe wakes, a week laters, with wings and the ability to see snippets of the future. Grian wakes with the ability to control water and, to an extent, others minds. The group prays for freedom to come soon, to let them leave without the watchers finding them, or hurting their siblings in their absence.

That freedom comes sooner than expected for Joe, who disappears in the night, leaving his siblings behind without a word. It's too dangerous to take them where he was going, so he kisses their foreheads and disappears into the void-like mist surrounding the watcher's home.

The watchers never mention Joe again, not even blinking when he doesn't appear at the breakfast. They don't bring up 'poet' or hold Stress or Grian accountable for his sudden flight from their cell. Stress and Grian can't, don't, won't try to understand why the watchers dont ask them anything, as the only answer that the pair can come up with is that Joe is now one of the people they lost, part of a seemingly ever-growing number of dead.

Stress stops dreaming of freedom, letting herself harden under the pressure of the watchers. She will not become one of their weapons, nor will she become one of their diamonds, but she cannot let herself sleep while Grian could disappear. Grian stops asking her about tales of her home, and Stress stops singing. Tales of rebellions no longer fall into their ears.

The tests all but stop, and Stress finds herself falling into a dreamless sleep the second she makes it to her bed. She doesn't lose hope, but she doesn't gain any. There is seemingly nothing that can calm her until her head hits her pillow.

It's during one of these sleeps when Grian leaves, a note tucked under her pillow telling her that he'll be back, that he loves her, and that the rebellion is still around.

Stress cries when she reads the letter, holding it close to her before burning it. Once more, the watchers don't mention her brother, and Stress is alone again, dreaming of a freedom that she can't believe will happen for her, of a rebellion she refuses to believe will come for her. Stress can't fall into work, can't do anything as the tests stop happening and she is confined to the room that she was trapped in, food delivered to her by the watchers. Stress draws, grows plants and summons ice that she sculpts into her siblings, biological or otherwise. She lives like that, her life in limbo as she waits for the watchers to decide what to do with her. Whatever the answer is, she will walk towards it with her head high. She doesn't fear death anymore, though she doesn't want to die. She does, however, fear what will become of her if the watchers decide she isn't worth their resources.

One day, news of the rebellion reaches her ears. It's from one of the watchers who brings her food, the one that wears black headphones with blue and red checkers on them, not the cruel one with the rabbit ears. He tells her, an unsettling smile on his face, that "all of the watchers here are leaving to finally squash the rebellion. you'll be safe, once we're back we'll ba able to make you a full watcher as well. congratulations, you're the the only one of your class to succeed!". Stress  cries at those words, and the watcher takes them as happy tears instead of the mournful tears that they actually are.

The watchers leave that night, the rabbit eared watcher providing her with three days food an instructions only to leave her rooms if the food runs out. She doesn't believe that the food will run out, but she thanks him anyways. She needs to make a plan to escape before that watchers come back.

The next day, the watcher's building is silent, save for the few rooms that Stress occupies. She sings for the first time in months, perhaps in years, in the empty castle. Any song is worth singing, as it fills the time and the unsettling silence. She sings songs from her home, tunes Grian taught her that the street performers would sing in his city, and ballads that Joe wrote for his home before he was abducted. Her plants flourish as she sings, and her sculptures almost appear to move. 

The only thing thats stops her songs and revelry is an explosion, close by the wing of the castle in which she is imprisoned. Footsteps, loud, heavy and armoured, echo down the halls as people run through the castle. Stress falls silent, fear eating at her brain as she tries desperately to hide in a place that neither the watchers, nor any intruders, could find her. Joe had once shown her a small corner in which the stones were loose enough for her to wriggle her way into the wall, and Stress flees into the hiding place, praying that no one will look for her.

The footsteps stop in front of her door and voices echo indecipherably through the hall. Stress can't properly understand what they were saying, but she doesn't have to wait to find out as the door is thrown open, falling to the ground with a loud clang. Stress spies through the crack in the stone as people enter the room, their backs towards her.

There are five people in total, two women and three men. One of the women has blonde hair tied into a long plait down her back, brown pants and a green jacket on. A leather strap goes around her head and Stress assumes its goggles. The other woman is a zombie with green patchwork skin and flame like orange hair, wearing shorts and a blueish jumper than falls off her shoulders. One of the men wears armour thats green, the only thing that Stress can properly decipher from him is that his helmet glows from the front. A different man IS green, with a metal arm and leg and a lab coat over his chest. The final man wears a bright green jumper with a brown vest, and jeans on. The group talks amongst themselves, looking through the room for something thats Stress can't decipher. The man in the armour turns around, and Stress can properly see his eyes through the blue visor. They appear to be purple, marking him as a powerful void walker. Stress holds her breath, praying that he can't see her as the man brings his wrist up to his face. 

"We can't find her, can you come here and look for her yourself?"

Stress feels tears in her eyes as the man speaks into his communicator. The two women sit down on the seat that Stress and her brothers would sit on, and Stress can see how the women look. The group, for people breaking into a watcher building, a watcher castle at that, appears remarkably calm, the two women joking around and laughing as footsteps echo through the halls. The green man, along with the the man in the green jumper, lean on the wall, talking to each other as though they had met on the streets and wished to catch up. Stress finds herself longing for that sort of interaction, though she knows that these people could be naught but dangerous to her even if they weren't hunting her.

The footsteps make their way into the building, two people in cloaks entering the room. The cloaks are drawn up, making them indecipherable to Stress, though she knows that they aren't watchers as one of the cloaks is a vibrant red, with the other one being a bright blue. The person in the blue cloak walks to the man in the green armour, as the one in the red finds their way to the two men leaning against the wall. The person in the blue cloak turns around, removing his cloak hood as he looks at Stress, and the woman in the wall chokes out a sob, startling the people in the room.

Joe is alive.

Joe helps Stress out of the wall and she throws herself into a hug with the man, wrapping her wings around the man. The group looks shocked at the pair, and Joe mumbles to her that he's refused hugs from them even after Grian found them. Grian joins the hug as well, the siblings finally reunited. Joe tells her about the rebellion, and how they are fighting to take down the watchers as they make their way to the ship that Xisuma, the man in the green armour, runs. Stress asks where she can join the rebellion. Xisuma laughs and tells her that she already has. 

Stress, one day, asks the hermits if she could find out what happened to her home. Joe and Grian both exchange worried looks, though the hermits all agree to go to her the Frozen Lands to see her home, taking Grian and Joe's silences as agreement. Joe didn't tell the hermits that his visited Nashville before he joined them, though he spoke to Grian and Stress of the devastation that was left on his home, how the only thing left of the house his family lived in was the flooring, burnt and bloodied and faded with age. Grian has also confined in Stress and Joe that Evo, the city in which he lived in, wasn't the same when he returned, the people either close to kneeling over due to starvation or unnaturally healthy, glowing in a way that didn't seem normal nor natural. Stress doesn't care for their concern about her home, false hope screaming at her that her cousins or other family members would be there, ruling over the town and lands.

When the hermits arrive, Stress rushes a head of them, ignoring the concern and fear that falls from the groups mouths. But instead of running into the loving embrace of her families arms, Stress arrives to a wasteland covered in ice and ash. Stress bolts down the streets she played in as a child, sliding on ice as she makes her way to the manor that she grew up in.

Instead of the familiar structure that she expected, nothing stands except the door the main entrance. Her families crest, a simple snowflake, that was carved into the spruce wood doors is burnt into the crest of the watchers, a clear message to anyone who found their way to the manor.

Stress collapses at the door, wailing at not only the loss of her family but at the loss of her home.

The hermits find her their, her wailing subsiding into sobs as her new brothers help her to her feet, helping her to make her way to the ship that she had been living in. Nothing feels real, not for a long time for Stress, her hope waning as she realises what had happened to her family. Stress finds herself helping Joe in the medical bay of the ship, her healing magic far more potent than his was, and Stress finds herself enjoying the work. She makes fast friends out of Cleo, False and Iskall as the three of them visit her often, either with injuries or with anecdotes. For most of the hermits, what had happened to Stress' home was something they had only heard of in the stories of refugees, as only Etho, Wels, Grian, Joe and Xisuma truely understood what had happened to her home. 

The hermits, the rebels, knew that they had to free more people, and Stress often accompanied Xisuma and Wels on their more diplomatic missions, her title of Princess aiding them as they gather allies. Wels also teaches her how to fight, and jokingly suggests that she should knight him as the knight for her kingdom, as his kingdom is ruled by a tyrant that wants nothing more than to watch her people suffer. Stress does knight him, giving him the status that he needs to get them respect of other knights as the champion of the Frozen Lands.

The next few years are spent in careful planning, Stress, Wels and Xisuma being the kindhearted faces of the rebellion as Cleo, False, Grian and Joe being the hard hitting fighters who invade watcher buildings and burn them down, as Iskall, Cub and Scar gather information about watchers through means that Stress doesn't know and doesn't care to find out.

One day, at a party that Stress, Xisuma and Wels were invited to, and that Grian, Joe and False had tagged along to the two watchers that fed Stress appear, not only looking for a fight but for victims to bring back to the watchers.

Stress didn't feel anything at the sight of the watchers, simply stating that they had been the ones to feed her, though Grian's eyes flashed purple as he laid eyes on them. Of course, the group fought the watchers, Stress helping the people to evacuate the building before she joined the fray.Grian fought harder than anyone else did, throwing himself into the fray when he shouldn't have. The rabbit watcher taunted him, and the one that wore the headphones laughed as Grian struggled to fight them, not letting anyone get close to them. The rabbit eared watcher threw a spear through Grian's wing, grounding the man. Grian doesn't saying anything as the rest of the hermits join the fight, Stress focussing on healing his wing.

"Why would you fight them alone, you dumbass." She asked him, tears in her eyes. "Thats Sam and Taurtis." The second the reply hit her ears, Stress stands, her wings flapping. She holds the spear in her hands as she flies up, summoning ice and vines to the room. Joe helps the hermits to a corner of the room as Stress traps the two traitors in vines and ice. "What do you want me to do with them, Grian?" Stress asks, and the man shrugs, a dark look in his eyes. "They're watchers, they've already sealed their fates."

Stress doesn't remember what happened next, though according to False and Wels it was 'the most badass' thing that they had ever seen. According to Xisuma, however, it was a safety hazard. Stress doesn't really care, though she's prefer that the next time she grow plants in peoples lungs and explodes their veins with ice she wouldn't wake up in the blood and ice of her victims.

The group becomes folk heroes in that kingdom, and they soon find themselves becoming better known in other lands as well as they defeat more and more watchers, before the only ones left are the ones that kidnapped Stress, Grian and Joe.

It took a while to find the last watchers. There was so few left of them that no one, not even Iskall, Scar and Cub could find information on the group, and while Stress, Joe and Grian were being heralded as heroes who defied the odds and survived the watchers, they couldn't rest. Stress would often find Grian planning intricate traps with Mumbo and Iskall, and she'd always have to make sure that Joe wasn't wordsmithing disaster onto their course. Of course, everyone would find Stress fussing over any injured people, to the point where it was obvious that she was too nervous for her own good. It was during one of these sessions with Cleo where the zombie worked out - or perhaps told the ex watcher - exactly what Stress what thinking.

"You hate them." Cleo smiles. "I want them locked up, where they can never hurt anyone ever again." Stress spits, trying to calm herself down. "You want them dead, don't you?" "I never said that!" Stress protests, though in her heart she knows it's true. "Don't worry, I think that they deserve it."

It took Stress a while to convince herself that she wasn't evil for wanting that. Or more so, it took False, Iskall, Grian, Cleo, Wels, Joe and Xisuma a while to convince Stress she wasn't evil for wishing death onto the watchers. But she was never fully convinced, and just when the hermits believed that she had finally believed them, Stress vanished into the night just as Joe and Grian had left her, a note being the only thing she left behind.

She knows where the watchers are, she knows exactly where she needs to go to finish this, and she knows that she cannot loose anymore people to the watchers, to that building, the one that the watchers had first held her and her siblings in. The one hidden in the frozen wastes beyond her home town. It's a long fight, one that she battles alone until she's near dead, captured by watchers once more. When all seems lost, her brothers appear, tearing down the doors and saving her before the watcher can deliver the final blow. Grian tore into the watchers as Joe heals her, and Stress spies the hermits from the corner of her eyes. The hermits battle as Stress struggles to breath, the curse that was placed on her slowly eating away at her energy. Tears prick at her eyes, too tired to even fall out of her eyes. She watches, almost as though she isn't in her body, as False and Cleo deliver the final blow, killing the watcher with a well placed spear to the throat. Energy floods back into Stress as she bolts up, the curse dying with the watcher that placed it.

There are celebrations throughout the world as the hermits make their way across, telling everyone of the good news. Stress, Grian and Joe are shown some of the survivors of their homes, and Stress makes her first speech as queen declaring that the island 'Tennessee' and the city 'Evo' are now states of the Frozen Lands. Soon, the lands that the other hermits were from join the Frozen lands, and Stress makes more announcements welcoming places into her ever growing country. The world changes as people make their way to the Frozen Lands, hoping for the home that is boasted about.

Stress' last declaration as queen of the frozen lands is stunning, a hope filled promise of home.

"I do not claim to know that the future holds, nor do I promise that it will be good, but today I speak to you all, not as a queen, but as a friend. The Frozen Lands is no more. Today, we join the Hermit States. You will chose your leader, not born of blood but of your decisions."

It was not a surprise to anyone but Stress when she was voted in as Empress, with Scar as her second in command. Joe finds home in books of poetry and song, and Grian finds life in regrowing his home into a better place.

Stress finds a family in the hermits, and the hermits find hope in Stress

[feeling-uncomfy]

Eyyy finally I got it finished! Happy fic number 1! I'll have the other ready as soon as I can, and it probably won't be as long but I do hope you enjoy it anyways!

This one is soft because the boys need a break—

There is an eating disorder and minor self harm is mentioned, so be warned! Other than that it's all fluff!

Aziawa woke to the sounds of Iida and Bakugo yelling. Guess breakfast was being made. Aziawa rolled over and was met face-to-face with a ball of white. Aziawa huffed and pushed Koda's bunny off his bed and it scampered off, no doubt running for Mina or Ochako.

Aziawa stood and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He looked down at his phone. "Saturday, huh? Finally." Aziawa was sure the students shared the sentiment. He walked out, putting on a shirt and getting into the elevator. The voices grew louder as the door opened.

"Bakugo that's not how you cook that! You're supposed to—" Iida yelled, and was cut off by a pastry getting flung into his face. "Shut the fuck up! They're better than whatever you made, so sit down glasses!" Bakugo shoved Iida onto a stool and started cooking.

Aziawa said nothing and checked the time. "It's half five in the morning." He informed the students. The pair jumped and looked over at their teacher. "Do I even want to know what you're both doing up?" He asked. Iida stood straight and bowed slightly at the hip. "Apologises for waking you, sir!"

Bakugo scoffed. "We only did it 'cause birdie's gonna be gone for the day." Aziawa blinked. "Tokoyami?" Bakugo nodded. "He said Hawks wanted to do some extra training so he's leaving for the day." Aziawa's eye twitched. "That would be the third Saturday this month he's missed."

Bakugo nodded. "Also, he's been tired as fuck. I don't like it." He grumbled, putting pancakes onto a plate. Iida nodded. "Its true that we've been a lot more busy lately, but I've hardly seen Tokoyami the past few weeks outside of class." He said, looking at the plate as it was slowly filled.

Aziawa rubbed his eyes again. "What makes things worse is that, according to Hawks it's not the training that's doing this." Aziawa mumbled. Iida looked up, his worry evident. Bakugo scoffed. "Then what the fuck is his problem?" Aziawa shrugged. Iida opened his mouth to speak, but the elevator opening stopped him.

Tokoyami walked out— well, more like dragged himself out, yawning. He looked wrecked, and Aziawa could tell there were heavy bags under his students eyes. Tokoyami didnt even realise they were there until he quite literally walked into the back of Aziawa. His head snapped up, and he froze.

"Oh, um..." Tokoyami looked at the trio. "Apologises sir." He mumbled, walking around him. Tokoyami was sure no one would be awake. No one was ever awake this early in the morning. Tokoyami assured himself that it was fine, he'd just grab his water and go—

"Birdie, where're you going?" Bakugo snapped. Tokoyami looked up, confused. "I told you, Hawks wants to get extra training in–" Bakugo cut him off. "Yeah and the earliest train to Kushu leaves in three hours." Tokoyami looked at the counter, avoiding everyone's eyes.

Aziawa sighed. "At least eat something before you go." Tokoyami shook his head. If he ate anything he'd be sick. "I ate a little while ago." A lie. "I'll eat once I arrive in Kushu." Another lie. Tokoyami moved past them and walked towards the door quickly. "Where are you going?" Bakugo asked again. Tokoyami didnt answer.

"Tokoyami–" Aziawa called, but he was gone. Bakugo scoffed again and turned away. Iida blinked. Tokoyami left in a hurry, practically bolting around the back of the building. "Alright..." Tokoyami called Dark Shadow to his side.

"Fumi, I dont know about this..." Dark Shadow said this everytime they did this. Tokoyami never listened. "Dark Shadow, I have to do this." The quirk shook its head. "But you know that the school has a training regime for this! You don't have to get me to do this every morning." Tokoyami didnt look convinced.

"Dark Shadow, just do it." And thus, for the next two hours, Dark Shadow sent Tokoyami flying into the walls, trees, and anything solid. "Fumi, this isn't how you build endurance, this is just hurting yourself!" Dark Shadow called after half an hour.

Tokoyami lay on the ground, panting and in pain. "Again." He said through gritted teeth. Dark Shadow sighed, and Tokoyami ran towards him. Growing in size, Dark Shadow swung and Tokoyami gasped, getting hit in the chest. He smacked into a tree and flopped uselessly onto the ground. He panted, knowing he's going to be black and blue later on.

It was worth it. He couldn't afford to fall behind simply because he was weak.

"Let's go. Hawks will be expecting us soon." Tokoyami begrudgingly stopped the self-tourture and made his way to Kushu. His leg was in agony, and he walked towards the agency with a slight limp. As expected, Hawks greeted him with a warm grin.

"Tsukuyomi! How's my favourite intern?" Hawks exclaimed, wings stretching out. Tokoyami sighed. "Sir, I'm your only intern." Hawks laughed and clamped a hand onto Tokoyami's shoulder. "You got me there!" Tokoyami could only focus on the pain the touch brought, and hissed in pain, drawing back.

Hawks's demeanour changed. "What's wrong? You hurt?" Hawks checked him over. Tokoyami shook his head. "No, I'm quite healthy." He lied, trying to avoid eye contact subtlety. Hawks saw straight through the lie. "You sure? It's okay if you wanna skip out today—"

Tokoyami interrupted quickly. "No, sir! I'll be fine, you dont have to do anything like that." Hawks didnt like or understand why his intern was being so adamant about training lately, but he didnt comment on it any further. "Let's go then. We've got a patrol and then we can spend an hour training." Hawks said, leading his intern inside.

Tokoyami was ready, and the pair left. Dark Shadow seemed restless, and was actively searching for something that wasnt there. Hawks spotted a robbery, and the pair flew down. The criminals panicked and a fight broke out. Hawks could immediately tell that Tokoyami had gotten slower, his reactions were delayed and his movements sluggish. His intern was tired.

Hawks easily blocked a blow as one of the criminals got in close. Hawks was shoved aside, and Tokoyami was hit full force with a bright green powder. "Tsukuyomi!" Hawks called, restraining the criminal quickly. Tokoyami was bent over, scrubbing his eyes. "Kid, you okay?" Hawks asked softly. Tokoyami shook his head, then nodded.

He stood. "I'm fine, just a little–" Tokoyami cut himself off with a yawn. Hawks looked at the criminals. "What was that?" He demanded. The criminal in question shook with laughter. The other answered for her. "Its just a chemical our boss's been working on. None of your business, obviously." Hawks sighed, getting irritated.

"What the fuck was it?!" The criminals winced. "It was just a... I dont know, a thing! It'll wear off. Hopefully." Hawks ran a hand through his hair. "I asked what it was, not whether it would wear off or not." He said. The first criminal spoke again. "It's none of you business." He repeated, angry now.

Hawks was angry too. "Tell me what it was!" He spat, just as the police showed up. Hawks left unwillingly. Tokoyami swayed on his feet, feeling unsteady and hungry. He was fine two minutes ago, he couldn't understand what was—

"Tsukuyomi! Careful!" Hawks grabbed his arm and Tokoyami almost fell over. "M'sorry." He mumbled. God, his head was pounding. Hawks looked at him, concerned. "You wanna go back to the agency?" Hawks asked softly. Tokoyami blinked, and his eyes didn't open back up for a moment.

"Please." Hawks nodded and steered them in the direction of home. Once they got there, Tokoyami was practically asleep on Hawks. "Come on bud, nearly there." Tokoyami was sat on the couch. He immediately slumped forward onto Hawks's shoulder. Getting worried, Hawks tapped his interns beak. "Kiddo, you okay?"

Tokoyami had passed out on him.

Hawks sighed, and moved him so he was lying on the couch. Tokoyami looked peaceful for the first time all month. Hawks turned and went to grab a pillow and blanket. Hawks found himself yawning as he walked back. Tokoyami had moved, curled up in a fetal position taking up as little room as he could.

Hawks smiled and picked him up gently, wrapping the blanket around him. Tokoyami shivered slightly at the change, but fell quiet again. Hawks sat next to him and watched him for a little while, content. Even though it was a drug caused this, Hawks was happy that his intern was finally getting som rest.

His phone buzzed. Ahh, Endeavor found out. Hawks told him what was happening, and about Tokoyami getting a face full of green shit. "He should be fine. The criminals seem..." Endeavor trailed off, searching for the right words.

"They're dumb." Hawks laughed at Endeavors blunt words. "Yes, laugh while you can. They claimed these were going to be mass produced once their leader escaped custody." Hawks blinked. "What? We already caught their boss? Nice." Endeavor sighed. "Hawks, be serious here."

"Yeah, yeah. Listen, this looks like a job for number one. And as number two, I'm not doing shit." Hawks grinned as Endeavor snapped at him. "Gotta go!" Hawks pressed the hang up button.

"Hawks—"

Endeavor scowled at his phone as Hawks pocketed his. Hawks turned towards the kitchen when—

Tokoyami walked past him. He looked absolutely dead. He coughed as he reached for a tissue. Hawks sighed. "What am I gonna do with you? Come on, baby bird. Back on the couch." Tokoyami looked at Hawks, eyes unfocused. When he didnt respond, Hawks got slightly worried. "Kid?"

Tokoyami walked past him again, towards the gym. Hawks followed, curious. Tokoyami let the blanket wrapped around him fall and walked towards the weights. Hawks stared in partial amazement and concern as Tokoyami started exercising.

"Kid? Hey, wait a second—" Hawks had to quickly catch his intern, who could barely hold the weights up. "Kid, I'm all for training hard to be a hero, but this is..." Tokoyami didnt stop, pushing himself even though all he felt was pain. "This is excessive. You need to stop." Hawks used a few feathers to lift the weight and held the kids upper arm.

As soon as it was gone, Tokoyami fell forward. He was tired and sore, but that wasnt an excuse. But he didnt think he could move anymore even of he tried. Hawks knew that, too, and picked him up. "Jesus kid, have you gotten lighter?"

Hawks felt like Aziawa. He felt like a father, and he hated it. He just wanted his kid to take care of himself, for god's sake, was that so hard? Hawks sighed when Tokoyami tried to stand up again, but stopped when he saw him reaching for the blanket he'd abandoned on the floor.

Hawks picked it up and wrapped it around Tokoyami, who instantly curled into it without complaint. Hawks left him on the couch, and went to the kitchen. Could he call Aziawa? Nah, he'd yell at Hawks. Endeavor? Shitty parent, plus he was angry. That left....

"This should be fun, huh, baby bird?" Hawks said softly, hanging up the phone and settling next to Tokoyami again. Tokoyami sniffed. "I'm fine, really." His voice had become scratchy, and it sounded like it hurt to say. Tokoyami swallowed, and it felt like he was eating gravel.

Hawks nodded, not buying a word of it. "Sure. And Aziawa isnt tired right now." He probably was, anyways. "Why're you pushing yourself so much, anyway? It's not like you to be this self-destructive." Tokoyami's head snapped up, and he winced. "I'm not being self—" He dissolved into a coughing fit before he could choke the words out.

Hawks patted his kids back. "Hey, hey, baby bird, relax, breathe for me." He spoke softly, and the coughing stopped after a minute. Tokoyami took in a large breath, and Hawks was worried he'd choke again. When he didnt, Tokoyami tried again. "I'm not being self-destructive." Hawks nodded again. "Uh-huh." He said sarcastically. "Then what do you call training until you cant stand straight?"

Tokoyami paused, not being able to think of an answer. "That's what I thought." Hawks leaned back. "I'm not mad." Hawks lied, reassuring Tokoyami slightly. "I'm just worried. As your mentor and as your older bird bro. This isnt healthy." Tokoyami nodded numbly. He knew it wasnt, but that couldn't stop him.

Hawks was angry, not necessarily because his intern was training so hard, it was the fact that he seemed to be neglecting other aspects as well. According to Aziawa, Tokoyami had been doing better in classes, which would be good. If Tokoyami had been taking care of himself as well. Not once had Aziawa seen the kid eat or drink much in the past three weeks.

It seemed he had stopped sleeping, too. One of the other kids came to Aziawa about it, Hawks couldn't remember who, but they had seen Tokoyami outside at the crack of dawn almost every day before class. Hawks couldn't understand why Tokoyami hadn't stuck with the training regime he had laid out for him.

Tokoyami looked at him. He mumbled something. "Hmm? What was that?" Hawks leans forward. Tokoyami jumped slightly. He was silent for a minute. "You are mad. You're making that face again." Hawks stopped. "What face?!" Tokoyami glanced over at him.

"You always do this thing when your angry, it's hard to miss." Tokoyami explained. "You bite your tongue inbetween your front teeth and one eyebrow goes higher than the other." Tokoyami pointed at his face, though he couldn't show him. Hawks was amazed. He forgot he did that.

"Huh. How perceptive." Hawks laughed slightly. Tokoyami didnt answer. "Yeah, I'm a little angry." Hawks admitted. When he saw Tokoyami's face fall out of the corner of his eye, he was quick to explain. "I'm not angry at you, its just that— well, a friend is supposed to be here right now, and—" Hawks was cut off.

"So I'm taking up your time? Forgive me, I didnt mean to—" Tokoyami stood up shakily. Now both birds were talking over each other, mixing up everything. Hawks was louder, and his voice rang clear. "No! No, your not taking up anytime, sit down!" He gently pushed Tokoyami back onto the couch.

There was the sound of the door banging open, and Hawks sighed in relief. Help was here. "Sorry it took so long. Traffic was absolutely shit. Got some medicine though." Miruko came in, sitting on the coffee table. "Jesus, you dont look so good chick, what's up?" Her voice became soft. Tokoyami shrugged as Miruko ran a hand over his feathers.

Hawks relaxed. "That's why I called you. To help." Miruko nodded. "Yeah, yeah. Hey chicken, let's ditch the hawk and go get some food." She stood up and Tokoyami looked uncertainly over at Hawks. "Miruko, no. I dont think thats a good idea." Hawks said, glancing at the shopping bags. Miruko rolled her eyes and scooped Tokoyami up easily.

She seems to understand then. She blinked down at the kid, and then at Hawks. "Birdie, hate to be a helicopter parent here, but..." She sat down, Tokoyami still in her arm. Hawks tuned them out, and took out a thermometer. He looked up, and Miruko was poking Tokoyami's beak. "You gotta take care of yourself, or you'll fall apart, got it?"

Tokoyami nodded. He felt like he was being babied. He hated it. Yeah, sure, he hadn't eaten a lot, or slept, but he was fine. He didnt need Miruko to look at him like he was made of glass, or Hawks to worry over him like he was helpless. He wasnt helpless.

Tokoyami moved away. Miruko held an arm out, and Hawks tried to get him to sit back down. "I'm fine." Tokoyami walked away. Hawks stared after him. Tokoyami walked down the hallway before turning a corner and breaking into a run. This was a mistake. He was going to get sick. Where was the bathroom? It was all blurring together.

He got to a door and walked in. Thank god he chose the right door. Doubling over, he emptied his guts into the toilet. "This is so unfair..." He groaned, before ducking his head into the basin again. His stomach was empty, what was he puking?! The lights were so bright, they hurt his eyes.

He slumped uselessly against the rim, feeling drained. From what? Puking? He really was weak. His eyes slipped shut, and Tokoyami felt sleep tug in the back of his mind. He shook himself and tried to get up. The world span and Tokoyami fell, smaking onto the tile harshly. There was a loud bang, which he hoped wasnt something important. His eyes fell closed again, and the world faded out.

Hawks and Miruko were talking. "I don't like it. You sure this was intentional?" Hawks nodded. "There's no way he accidentally forget to feed himself." Miruko let down a forced laugh, and nodded. "Speaking of, where is he? It's been a few minutes—" There was a crash from down the hall. Hawks stood up quickly and took off, Miruko was right behind him. "Oh shit..." Miruko saw Tokoyami passed out on the floor.

Hawks knelt beside him. "Baby bird? You okay?" Tokoyami let out a puff of air, but didnt react. Hawks sighed. "Fucking hell, kid..." Hawks picked him up. Miruko led them back to the main office. Hawks went for the elevator. "Grab the bags." Miruko nodded, and in no time they were up on the top floor.

Hawks put Tokoyami into his room, knowing the couch wasnt as comfortable. Miruko checked his temperature. "That's a high number Hawks, I'm really starting to hate this." Hawks nodded along. "He should learn a lesson from this, but I'll beat self-care into him if I have too." Miruko cracked a laugh at that.

They ended up ordering food, making sure to order extra for Tokoyami. Hawks went in every once in a while to make sure nothing bad had happened. Other than a small fever dream, Tokoyami slept peacefully. Miruko and Hawks settled, when Aziawa called.

"Care to tell me why my student hasn't returned yet? Can't he go one day without you doing something stupid?" Aziawa snapped over the line. Hawks explained what happened over the day. "I honestly cannot say I'm surprised." Aziawa sighed. "Though I will have to scold him about poor health management." Miruko joined in, swallowing her food. "No need, we already beat him up."

Aziawa rolled his eyes over the line. "Whatever. I'm his teacher, I should have been able to prevent this." Hawks nodded along, his feathers sensing movement. "You keep Eraserhead busy." Hawks whispered, and disappeared down the hall. Hawks's bedroom door was open, and Tokoyami had rolled over, staring at the ceiling.

He looked like shit. "Hey baby bird, you doing okay?" Hawks approached carefully. Tokoyami looked over at him and sat up. He looked ready to cry. Hawks sat on the bed, wings splayed around them both, shielding them. "What's up?" Hawks asked quietly.

Tokoyami shook his head, and tears gathered in the corner of his eyes. He felt tired and sick, and suddenly the tears wouldn't stop. Panicking, Hawks threw his arms around his kid, embracing him tightly. Tokoyami gripped Hawks's jacket, burying his face into Hawks shoulder. His entire frame shook and he tried not to make any noise.

Hawks rubbed his back softly. "Its okay, you're okay. I'm here." Hawks wasnt sure what caused this, but he was concerned to say the least. Tokoyami hiccuped and studdered out apologises. "Why are you sorry? You didnt do anything wrong, baby bird." Tokoyami shook his head. "M'didn't mean t'make you worry, just wante' t'be better..." Hawks looked down at his kid. "Oh, kiddo..." It made sense now. It still made his blood boil, but it made sense.

"Baby bird, this isnt how you get stronger, okay? This is how you hurt yourself." Hawks said gently, and Tokoyami nodded, apologising again. Hawks hushed him. Tokoyami stilled after a while, breathing returning to normal. "You feeling better?" Tokoyami shrugged. Hawks laughed softly.

"You wanna try eating?" Tokoyami looked up. No, he didnt. But it would be rude to deny something offered to him. Tokoyami nodded, and Hawks brought him in. Miruko gave them a knowing grin and turned back to the phone. "He's here, Eraser! You can beat him up now."

Tokoyami froze. "Mr. Aziawa...?" The phone was passed to him. "Tokoyami." Aziawa began. "You should already be aware of this, but—"

The phone was snatched out of Aziawa's hands. "Fucking bird! I'll kill you!" Bakugo was running as he yelled. "We heard what happened from Earphones, and when you get back, I'm gonna fucking—"

Iida came into view. "Bakugo, behave yourself!" Tokoyami sighed. "Thank you Iida-" Iida glared at the phone. "Tokoyami, as class president, I'll have to scold you too." Tokoyami let his head fall back as Iida started yelling. Hawks snickered and Miruko laughed loudly.

"Iida, Bakugo! Get back here— Yayorozu I've already told you, you and Shouji cant leave! No, I dont wanna hear it— Bakugo Kasuki!" Aziawa was screaming over the line.

Hawks covered Tokoyami's ears as Aziawa let out a spew of curse words. Miruko laughed again, and added her hands. Aziawa came into view again and stared at the three. He shook his head. "Tokoyami lives with Bakugo. He's heard much worse, I assure you."

Hawks gasped dramatically. "My intern? My Fumikage listening to curse words? Never!" Tokoyami couldn't help the laugh that escaped him, and his shoulders shook. Hawks gasped again, but it was genuine. "Did I just get my dark and edgy intern to laugh?" Hawks looked up at Miruko, amazed. Miruko grinned wide.

Tokoyami laughed louder at the sight of Hawks's face. Miruko joined in, and Aziawa decided fuck it, and let them laugh. He could give out shit later. The laughter didnt die down until Tokoyami started coughing his lungs up. Hawks steadied him while Aziawa spoke.

"It seems you're already aware of the absolute hell that awaits you when you get back." Tokoyami winced and nodded. Aziawa continued. "However, I will be asking you to start taking care of yourself. I know how this sounds, but you shouldn't prioritize an 'A' over your health. Yes, you should try do well, but I'm not asking for you to ignore your needs to do that."

Aziawa sighed. "I apologise if we made you think that your grades were more important." At this, Tokoyami's head snapped up. "Sir, you didnt make me— this isn't your fault!" Tokoyami couldn't grasp the concept. Nothing about this was Mr. Aziawa's doing. Aziawa raised a brow, but didnt comment. "Now, as punishment for refusing to preform self-care, you wont be participating in training next week." Tokoyami nodded.

"Instead," Aziawa explained. "You and a few others I have caught will be resting in the dorms during this time. I expect you to catch up on all the sleep you missed, and you're to eat regularly." Tokoyami nodded, confused. "As in if you dont eat, it'll be shoved down your throat." Tokoyami gulped and his grip on his shirt tightened. He didnt enjoy the image of having food shoved down his throat.

"We'll make sure he does! And we'll get the others that havent been taking care of themselves too!" Mina yelled from offscreen. Hawks snorted and Aziawa sighed. "Well, that's all from me. Get some sleep, you can come back tomorrow." Tokoyami nodded. "Thank you, sir." Aziawa looked at him.

"Anytime, problem-child." Aziawa hung up. Hawks leaned back. "Well, that went okay." He commented. Miruko shrugged, and Tokoyami fell back against the couch. Miruko took some chicken out of the takeout bag and presented it to Tokoyami. "Eat up, chick. This'll help make the pain go away." It wouldn't, they all knew. But it was a start.

Tokoyami chewed slowly, almost afraid to swallow. He didnt want to puke again. Hawks encouraged him, and Tokoyami swallowed. Immediately, he doubled over, having something in his system for the first time all month was a lot more painful than he thought it would be. Hawks patted his back as he heaved.

"Easy, easy, baby bird. You can do it. Try again for me, okay?" Tokoyami shook his head. Miruko bent low. "Come on chick, you can do it." Tokoyami took it slow, and ate some more. He didnt keep it all down, but eventually something stayed in his stomach. Hawks wrapped an arm around him. The three ended up watching a movie together.

Around halfway through, Miruko brought out ice-cream, and Tokoyami found that to be a lot easier to eat, as it was kind of melted. Tokoyami managed to keep it down, and he conked out at the most important scene of the movie. Hawks was disgusted, but Miruko slapped him before he could wake Tokoyami up.

Hawks used his feathers to clean up, and he and Miruko fell asleep on the couch two hours later, Tokoyami wedged in the middle. Endeavor stopped by, and saw them sleeping peacefully. He scoffed at first, but decided against waking them up. He left the paperwork and disappeared.

The next morning, Hawks woke up to Tokoyami's spot abandoned. "Baby bird? Where'd you go?" Hawks stood up, Miruko shifted, but didnt wake. Hawks heard something from the bathroom. Hawks walked in to find Tokoyami, puking up last nights meal.

"Baby bird? Why didnt you wake me up?" Hawks sat next to him and rubbed his back. Tokoyami finished, and fell slack against Hawks. "Didn't wanna..." Tokoyami sighed, eyes closing. "How much did you sleep?" Tokoyami didnt answer. "Fumika— oh." Hawks stared down at the sleeping teen. So he hadn't slept much, then. Hawks sat there for a moment, before moving and picking Tokoyami up.

He left Tokoyami in his room, and Tokoyami grabbed his sleeve. Hawks sat down again, and Tokoyami drifted off. Hawks scrolled through his phone, when Aziawa called again. "What's up?" Hawks asked, holding the phone to his ear. "I said bring him back tomorrow, does that mean nothing to you?!" Hawks blinked.

"What?" Aziawa sighed, angry. "Hawks it's almost three o'clock in the afternoon. I called you at ten last night." Hawks suddenly laughed. "Sorry, kids still sleeping. I'll bring him over in a while." Aziawa huffed, but hung up. Hawk sighed and dropped the phone as Tokoyami shifted against him.

Hawks ran a hand through his kids feathers. "You are gonna be the death of me, baby bird." Tokoyami didnt respond. Hawks looked at the ceiling, smiling.

Hawks couldn't bring himself to care.

Hawks sent Tokoyami on his way, and he got yelled at. A lot. Also he was fed, which was good. He, Midoryia and Shinsou ended up not going to training the next week, dedicating the week to 'self-care'. None of them really wanted to, but it was this or have Iida, Bakugo and the rest of 1A on their asses, so they went with self-care.

Tokoyami drifted off to sleep, a fresh cup of tea drank and his lunch eaten. He gave Dark Shadow skriches, and the shadow purred happily and curled up. Tokoyami looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes, content and healthy.

These kids need to take care of themselves or I will—

Also I lied this was kinda sad, sorry—

Hope you enjoyed! The next one will be out ass soon as I can get it out, sorry for any delay!

[znaeb]

I Want To Know You | Z.K

He stood helplessly in the doorway as she packed up her things. Tears rolled down his cheeks as she angrily threw clothes into her suitcase. Her face was scrunched up in a permanent scowl, and he flinched when she slammed the full suitcase closed.

She pulled one of the drawers from the dresser, dumping its entire contents into a second smaller suitcase. Moving quickly to the closet she pulled down a handful of hangers, laying the clothes on the bed before grabbing down another handful.

“Melinda, don’t do this.” His father finally spoke from where he stood in the opposite corner of the room. She threw a pair of shoes on top of the messy pile of clothing, then stood with her hands on her hips, her eyes boring holes into the man’s face.

“Give me one good reason.” She spoke in a low, firm voice. If looks could kill, his dad would already be 6 feet under.

His father, forever passive and unbothered, scoffed and waved an exasperated hand toward the door, “Fine. If you can’t think of anything, then be my guest, leave.”

“What about my birthday, mommy?” His voice made both of them look toward the door in shock, obviously having not seen him before this very moment.

“Well... honey that’s still a month away, okay?” She tried to soften her voice to talk to him, but it barely changed.

“But you said you would help me plan a party for big number 6...” he pleaded, trying so hard to find the good reason she needed.

He knew that his birthday wasn’t enough when she said, “Well, I promise I’ll see you on your birthday anyway.” And slowly looked back to her things.

“Oh...” he could barely make any sound come out. His heart was broken, he wasn’t enough for her.

His father stayed put in the corner and rubbed his forehead, not daring to make eye contact with him. Not able to look at his son.

“Dad?” He begged for some sort of comfort but found none.

“Why don’t you go on to your room, Caleb. You don’t need to worry about mom and dad’s serious talks.” He spoke quietly, his eyes staying locked on the floor.

He turned slowly and went to his room. Hearing their bedroom door shut loudly behind him he squeezed his eyes shut and sat on his bed, hands in his lap.

A few moments later he heard a bit of yelling, but he couldn’t tell what they were saying. Then a few moments after that he heard their door swing open, footsteps down the hall, and the front door open before it was slammed shut again.

He didnt see her on his birthday. Or Christmas.

In fact, he didn’t see her until January, and then it was only for about 30 minutes at his grandmother’s house. She had a man with her, David, who she said was very nice and a good friend of hers.

Her and David got married three months after that. When his dad lost his job at the plant, he ended up moving in with them. He didn’t like it.

He lived with them for a little more than a year before they moved to California, and he moved in with his grandmother, his mom’s mom. She was nice. She would always talk about how his mother loved him very much, even if she didn��t show it very well. Or at all. She would also tell him how she’s never been able to stick to anything and how ‘marriages were no different for her.’

He liked living with his grandmother. She was good to him. But he still felt the pain of his mother’s leaving every day. He still remembered the feeling of her looking at him and saying that he wasn’t enough of a reason to stick around.

He grew up pretty wild. He tried to stay out of trouble for his grandma’s sake, but it always found him. He had to call her to bail him out more times than he’d like to admit, but she was always there for him. She never gave up on him— even though she probably should have.

She said she knew his heart and she knew what a good man he could be. He would always roll his eyes at that, but he hoped she was right. He desperately wanted to be good.

Senior year he started going by his middle name, Zion. Trying to separate himself from who he used to be and give himself a second chance.

He didn’t really get it together until after high school. He never studied, but by some miracle his grades were good and he graduated.

His grandmother cried at the ceremony, and his dad looked proud of him. His mother came to the after party with her new new husband, Gerard, and left him a card with fifty dollars in it.

He got accepted into into Columbia University with his friend Brandon and they moved out to New York together.

———

First day of class, sophomore year, he walked in and saw her.

She sat in the second row, eyes focused on something far away. Her chin was rested on her hand and her hair was pushed out of the way behind shoulders, exposing her long neck snd prominent collar bones.

He sat on the end of the row, only two chairs between them, and couldn’t take his eyes off of her for the entire class.

When the professor drew the class to a close, he watched as she gathered her things and stored them in her backpack. When she stood it was only for a moment as she sat right back down, but this time in the seat directly next to him.

She crossed her right leg over her left and looked at him expectantly.

“Hi.” He said lamely, immediately wincing at his own voice.

“Hello.” She smiled and nodded her head once.

He could tell she was waiting for him to say something, but he wasn’t sure what it was so he just sat there.

After a long minute she sighed and stuck her hand out, “I’m y/n, the girl you were staring at during class.”

He blushed, embarrassed that she had noticed him.

“I’m Zion.” He shook her hand and chuckled, “the guy who was staring at you during class.”

She let out a gentle laugh and stood up.

“I’ll see you later, Zion.” She waved and then turned around and walked out the door.

For two weeks he took every opportunity he could to talk to her, and when he built up a good rapport, he moved to the seat right next to her.

He spent the next month after that trying to win her affection. Every morning he brought her a different coffee until he discovered her favorite and then he brought her that, plus a pastry on the mornings when he wasn’t running late.

They started studying together regularly, and she accidentally spent the night at his apartment a few times after falling asleep while reading.

“Y/n? Hey, c’mere.” He practically lifted her from the chair in the corner of his room and tucked her into his bed.

She groaned and grabbed his hand as he started to walk away, “Where are you going?”

“Just to the couch. I’ll be right out there if you need me, okay?” He patted her hand and rested it onto the pillow next to her head.

She hesitated for a second but then nodded her head and whispered a goodnight, watching quietly as he left.

Eventually she agreed to go out with him. He brought her to the bar where Brandon did stand up, picking a night where there was a good crowd and the laughter was flowing.

After the show they decided to walk around the city for a while, neither of them wanting the night to be over yet. After a while they found a park and a quiet bench and agreed to sit for a while.

“Okay, okay,” she was barely able to contain her giggles, “if you could have one superpower, what would it be?”

His eyes were glued to her. Her red cheeks, her dimples, her bright eyes. When she laughed he couldn’t stop himself from laughing along with her.

“I think... flying? Oh and invisibility! Wait, maybe super strength...”

“Zion! I said one!” She hit his shoulder and leaned against him while she laughed.

“That’s too hard of a question.” He chuckled and picked her hand up from his chest and held it.

When her laughter quieted down she kept her side leaned into his, her cheek laying on his shoulder. She watched him play with her fingers, her heart beating fast.

She tilted her head up to look at his side profile. Her eyelashes tickled his jaw and drew his attention from her hand to her face that was now no more than an inch from his.

“Hi there.” He whispered.

She smiled and leaned up slightly, pressing a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. She pulled back quickly to gage his reaction, but there was no time to do so as he was leaning towards her and connecting their lips a split second later.

After that things progressed so quickly that it caught him off guard. The more serious their relationship got, the more uneasy he became. He liked her so much, and he knew she liked him too, but his insecurities were too big to disregard.

He refused to let himself be vulnerable. And without meaning to, he came off cold. He acted like it wouldn’t affect him if they broke up right then and there.

She didn’t know why he was like that. Why he would clam up and act nonchalant when she knew that he wasn’t okay. Time and time again she tried to draw it out of him, listening intently every time he mentioned his past, but he never gave too much away. He never fully let her in.

One evening, after a long day, they went back to her apartment to study. He got distracted very quickly, unable to keep his hands off of her.

“Baby, baby.” He mumbled into her neck and tried to pull her textbook away from her, “put the highlighter down, I’m trying to make out with you.”

She giggled and let him close the book, putting her hand on the side of his face and kissing him back. A few minutes later he’d made his way on top of her, arms holding him up as they kissed.

Thoughts swirled around in her head and the questions she’d had for a long time were begging to be asked.

When he moved down to kiss her neck she stared up at the ceiling, trying to find her words.

“Zion?” She said his name cautiously, her fingernails gently trailing back and forth across his shoulders in a soothing way.

“Hm?” He hummed against her sternum, not stopping his actions.

“When can I meet your family?” She felt him faulter a little bit, but he quickly shook it off.

“I dont know, most of them still live in Canada.” He slipped his hand under her shirt and skimmed his fingertips over her ribs.

“What about the ones who don’t live in Canada?” She continued, trying to sound soft and cute and keep from making him uncomfortable.

“As far as I know she— my mom, still lives in Cali. Far away from here.” He sounded slightly exasperated, but she wasn’t ready to give up yet.

“Well what is your grandmother like? Wasn’t it her birthday recently?” He sighed loudly and let his head fall to rest on her chest, his hand stilling on her side.

He lifted his head and looked in her eyes for a moment, then gave her a peck on the lips and spoke, “Let’s not talk about this now, okay?” Another peck on the lips, “it’s not important.”

“Zion...” she put her hands on the sides of his face and pulled his lips away from hers, “It is important. I want to talk about it.”

He jerked his head to the side and her hands fell from his face, “Why are you always pushing this?” He spoke harshly as he got up and sat on the other end of the couch.

She sat up slowly and pulled her knees to her chest, “I just want to know you.” She said softly.

“You do know me!” He shouted suddenly.

“Baby, please don’t be mad,” she crawled towards him and tried to hold his hand. He jerked it away and stood from the couch, standing near the center of the room and looking at her. “Why won’t you talk to me?” She asked, eyes beginning to water.

“What the fuck do you want me to say?!” He yelled again, pacing back and forth.

“Anything...” she pleaded, “say anything.”

“Fine!” He finally snapped, “Fine. What do you want know?! How my mother left me and my father? Or how about all the times when I was little and I begged my father to stop drinking so I could live with him, but he wouldn’t give it up! He got fired from job after job after job, and then dumped me on my mother! Then, when she decided that she didn’t want me either, she dumped me on my grandmother! Which one of those happy childhood stories do you want to hear first?!”

Tears were now falling down her face, she wiped her cheeks but couldn’t rid her face of them entirely. She stood from the couch slowly and walked towards him. She wanted to reach out and pull him into her arms, but she knew that that wasn’t what he needed right now.

“I don’t know, baby...” she sniffled. She tried to make eye contact, but he wouldn’t look her in the face, “but I want to hear them all.”

“No you don’t... no you fucking don’t!” He yelled, finally looking her in the eyes. His were full of tears.

He tried to step back and away from her, but she held onto his shirt and pulled him back. He looked at her for what felt like forever, waiting to see if she’d change her mind. But she didn’t. She stood there, unmoving, giving him the floor. Waiting for him to speak.

And he actually did.

Once he started talking he couldn’t stop. He told her everything. About all the times his mother canceled on him, ditched him for some guy, made him feel like he wasn’t good enough for her.

And then about how his dad started drinking when she left... and never stopped. He told her about when his neighbors called CPS and his dad was too drunk to even answer the door. And the 2 months he spent in the system while his dad got sober to get him back, but then turned him over to his mom a month later.

And he told her about how he finally had stability with his grandmother. How she was the only person who he felt actually loved him. Who gave him a sense of worth and purpose.

They laid on the couch for three hours, Zion talking and her listening. They even called his grandmother and made plans to FaceTime the next evening so he could properly introduce them. After they hung up he told her that he wanted her to come home with him over Spring break, she didn’t even hesitate to agree.

After that they got ready for bed. They brushed their teeth together and he hugged her from behind while she washed her face, then she sat on the floor and hugged his legs while he washed his own face.

They laid in bed holding on to each other late into the night. His head rested on her chest and she played with his dreads. While they laid there he asked her questions about herself, ones he’d been too timid to ask before tonight.

“I— um... do you think your parents would like, approve of me?” He lifted his head to see her face, brushing hair off of her forehead gently and kissing her nose.

She giggled and ran her finger along his jaw, “I know for a fact that they would love you... but not as much as me of course.” She watched as his lips spread into a big smile.

“Oh? You love me?” He sat farther up on his elbows, his face now right above hers.

“Yes.” She giggled again.

“Well this is very interesting news.” He gave her a mischievous smile and nudged her cheek with his nose.

“Well I already know that you love me, so it was only fair that I let you know I feel the same way.” She nuzzled her face against his, but he pulled back and gave her a quizzical look.

“And how did you know that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“You, my darling, are a sleep-talker.” She grinned, eyes sleepy but still bright and shiny.

“No I’m not!” He scoffed, giving her thigh a little spank, “stop making things up.”

She burst into a fit of giggles and tried to escape his grasp.

“You are!” She exclaimed, “I can even tell you when and how you said it.”

“Okay fine,” he laughed with her, settling back into her arms and planting a quick kiss on her shoulder, “tell me.”

“Two weeks ago, when I slept over here after that one test? I woke up to you shifting around a bunch really early in the morning and I asked if you were awake... you said some nonsense that I couldn’t really understand, but then you rolled over and said super clearly, ‘good morning y/n, I love you’. And then you were still and quiet until you woke up for real.” She told the story while running her fingernails across his shoulders.

He blushed and hid his face in the crook of her neck. His lips brushed against her shoulder and he wrapped his arms tightly around her, wanting to hold her as close as possible.

“Well that’s kind of embarrassing, huh?” He kissed her temple and then rested his cheek flat against her sternum.

“No, actually, it’s kind of the sweetest thing ever.” She smiled and looked at his shoulders as she rubbed them, “besides, I know you really meant it.”

“How can you be so sure?” He teased, poking her side.

“Well, I suppose I can’t be one hundred percent positive, but I’ve never heard of someone lying in their sleep before...”

A moment of silence passed and she almost thought that he had fallen asleep, but then he spoke, “You can be positive.” He mumbled against her skin.

“Hm?” She furrowed her eyebrows.

He lifted his head and kissed her, drawing it out for a few seconds before pulling away to speak, “I said that you can be positive. I love you, y/n.”

Her heart felt like it was going to burst, she felt so lucky. She had this man, this wonderful man, all to herself. And he wanted her back. He felt the same way.

She gave him sleepy kisses until his eyes were too droopy to stay open and he had to rest his head.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms, both of them fully content. Both of them feeling secure and loved.

****

Hope you like this! <3

[spaceysp]

Saying random stuff to feed into the hyperfixations; pick one of these statements to rant about because I wanna read :)) if u want,

How skeppy must feel with everyone meeting up cause BaD JUST COME ON ,

Opinions on bad planning to take skeppy to dinner and all that jazz ,

Skeppys newest video on the skep channel where bad and skeppy are surprisingly sweet to eachother (and how lately in general bad has been less angee with him) ,

Literally the whole discount skeppy situation , bad being literally in love,

Ride with U,,,,,hetero,,,,explanation,,,, anywhere?

ANONNNNN I OWE YOU MY LIFE ILY 

im literally going to talk about all of these so im sorry but read more at your own risk

one: skeppy, i am so sorry a mf does this to you. but seriously, i can only think of a few reasons (that dont sound entirely made for fanfic) that bad keeps putting off meeting skeppy 

1. (the most unlikely) theyve already met and they keep the bit going so the fans dont find out. i can get that they wouldnt want to tell at first because its their own business, but i seriously doubt they would wait very long to confirm it, because ppl honestly can put a lot of pressure and hype on the meetup (esp with skeppy’s “surprise”) so i think theyd release something just so everyone knew that it finally happened! they didnt lie!

2. bad just doesnt want to meet skeppy (actually nvm this is the most unlikely) 

bad seems to be genuinely excited to meet skeppy, even claiming skeppys the one to keep putting it off, not him (which skeppy immediately disproved but) and saying over and over he wants to meet up with him, but always avoiding actually making plans (every single tweet about the meetup) so its clear he does want to meet skeppy eventually, which makes trying to figure out why he wont even harder

3. its not the right time/ waiting for a specific date

leading up to this, i was thinking that there was a pretty good chance theyd meet up on their anniversary, but that never happened rip. the issue is with this is that they guaranteed they would meet up before the end of the year, and at this point theres only one “event” left, but they still dont seem to have any plans to meet. if bad was waiting for the perfect time to do it, why not just tell skeppy to confirm a meetup date? it would get him (and maybe the fans, if they told them) off his back. another variant of this is that there is a set date, but they havent told the public, but again, skeppy seems to be just as much in the dark about this as everyone else

4. health issues 

bads apparently been feeling pretty under the weather lately, with his arm and kidney stones, its very plausible (and reccomended, imo) that bad doesnt want to travel when hes having these problems. of course, skeppy could visit, but he could either not want to spend their time together sick or the plans they have could also be too straining. i think this is probably one of the most likely atm, go see a doctor bbh im begging you

5. bads nervous

this is also one of the more plausible to me. for whatever reason, bads just anxious about it, whether it wont be the same as talking online, or be super awkward or whatever, he could just keep putting it off for that (its still weird and kinda doesnt make sense but in a more realistic way this time)

i know i totally went off track but this brings me to my point, skeppys kinda just waiting for bads confirmation at this point, so seeing his friends have fun meeting up is probably just lowkey depressing and i could see him using it as more the reason they should meet up. really the only thing he can do in this situation(at least, as far as i can tell) is what he has been doing, annoy bad about it or he take advantage of bads jealousy and meet up with someone else. the other option is to randomly come to his house, but it doesnt seem like skeppy is gonna do that, maybe to respect his boundaries? if he was planning on it i think he wouldve done it by now

OKAY NUMBER TWO LETS GO

this kinda ties into my point in the “reasons why bad wont meet skeppy” thing, that bad seems really excited to meet him yet still wont?? its clear he really values any time spent with skeppy, but he also make sure skeppys having a good time too! that why he never does any actual work with skeppy around (i.e. building statues or gathering materials for such), he knows its boring so instead theyll wander around the server telling stupid stories or punching each other off stairs for 20 minutes. im sure itll be the same irl, he mentioned wanting to meet somewhere like a nature reserve or amusement park, probably to make sure theres never a dull moment or time wasted. dinner seems much more low-key, and i wouldnt be surprised if bad just wanted to have an excuse to try and impress him with a nice totally-platonic date

NUMbeR tHree *airhorns* 

they really do be the best of friends! ive noticed that skeppys def been trying to halt arguments fairly quickly now, saying a lot to appease bad and move on, and while bad seems to like to start fights for fun, hes also been a lot more chill lately, im guessing because hes been oh-so desperately missing skeppy and big s was also in Baby mode (aka if bad disagreed with him hed probably just cry until he got his way((sand))) i think that vid just showed them being a lot more natural and happy to talk (plus bad usually is more argumentative when theyre competing, while in that vid they were either just hanging out or working towards a common goal) 

n u m b e r f o u r 

where to even BEGIN with discount skeppy. well, bad actually first came up this idea a few months ago, in either july or august on an idots smp stream when he crafted an ‘artificial skeppy’ in his snack shack that he could talk to whenever skeppy was gone. as we all know idots smp is now rip, but the idea of replacement skeppys remained, just this time they can talk and also ship skephalo. it actually seemed like more of puffys idea at first when she put on skeppys skin as a joke, which bad didnt like the first few times, but when she brought it up again he actually requested it (missing skeppy brainrot 🤔?) this could be either cuz bad wanted to bait some shippers so gave in or he thought it was a pretty funny bit so went along with it (or he actually missed skeppy that much.. surely not ??) either way i think we can agree puffy is not only a comedic genius but a top tier friend and slight wingman, and getting some good jealous skeppy content out of it is also top tier. in conclusion, love and appreciate discount skeppy, badboyhalo has only skeppy on his brain and his friends have to deal with that, hoes (skeppy) mad even though the whole bit is how much bbh is into him

NUMBER FIVE im really doing all of them

What, can be said, about ride with u. GODDAMN. im not tryna insinuate anything, but if someone told me that song reminded them of me i would have no choice but to marry them immediately. i really really want someone to ask bad what songs remind him of any of his other friends (dream, sapnap, george, ant, puffy, etc.) because there are three options

1. theyre just cool platonic friend songs and bad is just in love with skeppy

2. he cant think of any songs for them and bad is just In Love with skeppy

3. they have equal romantic undertones and bad is just Like That with his friends (even so i bet people would be picking out the most minute differences between the songs that make one more.. You Know than the other) 

i know FOR SURe that if i was in bads position (where even the person who made the lyric video assumed they were gay in love) i wouldve curled into a ball and never made another public appearance again, but he really owned that shit, singing it and making unprompted references to it (”i already have a bonnie” YOU AINT SLICK SIR WTF) 

i just wanna know if skeppys listened to it (i mean, hes surely at least heard of it, i know he wouldve seen it all over his timeline) and what he thonks about it. pls tell us big s do you also feel the love in this chilis tonight (ALSO when is someone gonna ask skeppy what song reminds him of bad. im waiting ((hed probably say something like a faster remix or something equally memey (((unless???)))

ANYWAY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ ALL OF THAT HOLY SHIT i dont wanna reread this to check for errors so it might be incoherent but again ty for letting me infodump about this it was super fun im in love with you anon

[80s-roger]

when love must die: joe mazzello

summary: you're married to joe mazzello for three years; the best three years of your life and the previous three dating and later being engaged. however, since day one of your marriage, you try for a successful pregnancy but they all end up failed. your most successful pregnancy was an IVF one, but the tube baby didn't make it at the last day of the first trimester. 

portray: current joe obv, female reader at 30.

words: 2306

warnings: unprotected sex, fluff, domestic violence experience, argument.

note: there will be part two.

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe was at the set, he'd be back home soon for dinner. The table was ready and you got yourself a pregnancy test. You ran to the bathroom upstairs to finally find out. Plus or minus? You didn't have your period since the last time you had sex with him -almost two months ago- and you were excited if it was because of a fetus growing inside you.

You took the test, sitting impatiently at the toilet's cap, waiting for the result. You wished it was a plus symbol, meaning you're pregnant. Unfortunately, it had just a horizontal line. You were disappointed again. Crying loudly because your husband wasn't home, so you finally had the time to let it all out. You've been praying days and nights to have a baby. It's unfair for you when other women throw their newborns at the litter.

Suddenly the door opens fastly and you were scared to death. You got relieved as you saw Joe looking at you with terror in his eyes.

"What happened?" He asked terrified sitting next to you, placing you in his big arms.

You didn't say a word. The tears wouldn't stop running. He erased them with his fingers, until he noticed the test next to you. He looked at you without saying a word. He took it at his hand and saw it was negative. He threw it at the bin and pulled you closer, rubbing your back.

"It's going to happen. Don't worry." He whispered.

Thankfully, he was really supportive on this. He wants to be a dad as much as you want to be a mum but he is patient and never stresses you on this. You've seen your doctor and he says it's just your nature. Nature? A woman's nature after unprotected sex, is getting pregnant, having a fetus growing at her uterus for nine months and later having it in her arms, breastfeeding it. You can't try forever. There will be someday, you'll reach menopause.

Joe and you walked at the kitchen, ready to eat your dinner. He places you at your chair but you had no will on eating.

"Baby you gotta eat." He said after taking a bite of his portion.

"I'm not hungry..." You sobbed, placing your dish away from you.

"It's probably too early for the test to know..." He mentioned the test, trying to make you feel better.

"It's been almost two months, not two days." You commented, looking at him. Your dinner stopped. It was just talk.

"I'm trying to help here. I know it's hard, but we'll make it." He placed his palm over your hand.

"It's easier said than done Joe. Do you have any idea how terrible I feel?" You whimpered. "We're trying for three years, we'd have a baby by now." You stuttered.

"It's fine Y/N... I'm patient enough to make space for your emotions." he explained.

"Why are you even married with me? I'm nothing but an obstacle to your new family." You pledged. It was so sad.

"You're my family. What are you talking about?" He sat on his knees, kissing your hands. He proposed to you on one knee. Good memories.

"But you want kids. And we lost the older one. Remember?" You reminded him. His eyes darkened.

"I remember. But that does not prevent me from not being with you. I can't even imagine my life without you." He implied and caressed your cheek.

"I love you Joe." You silently wailed and he leaned closer to you.

"And I love you." He toned. "Listen, how about going upstairs and lay? I'll be there in a few, I have to fix the table." He smiled and you nodded.

You closed the door behind your bedroom, changed to your nighty and laid on the bed, calling your mum.

"Hey mum." You said.

"Hello darling, how are you?" She asked. You didn't reply. "Um.." she started. "You tried again, didnt you?" She knew about your lack of fertility.

"Yes, it was negative." You answered.

"What did he say?"  She somehow didn't really like Joe, but Joe didn't give a shit.

"He's nothing but a supportive and patient husband." You nod your head feeling great for being his wife.

"And what are you going to do now?" She curiously asked.

"Try again, I guess..." You implored.

"But you've seen that sex won't help you get pregnant." she decreed.

"And where are you getting with it? Doing medical procedures in cold laboratories?" You gasped.

"Keep that method, it almost happened. Your husband has money to afford it." she had the nerve to instruct.

"It's not only his money, but mine too. We both work. We'll both raise this baby." You corrected her. "I just called you to let you know it was one more unsuccessful try. You won't know about it by the day you'll see me with a baby in my arms." You elaborated and hang up your phone without hearing her answer.

Five minutes later, Joe came to your bedroom. He took off his clothes and went inside your bathroom, taking a shower. It didn't last long and he was next to you, on his towel, around his waist. He sat next to you when his big palms caressed your stomach. That move made you whimper.

"Don't cry, it'll happen." He really is an optimist person. He wiped off some of your tiny tears ready to escape from your eyes. "I don't know if it's the appropriate time, but do you want us to try again? Or should we go for in vitro fertilization?" He gently asked.

"I don't want IVF, I don't feel comfortable there. Only with you." You disclosed and he came closer to your face kissing you gently.

His big hands caressed you everywhere. You looked so tiny beneath him, however it made you feel important. Your hands kept touching his attractive biceps until he removed the towel around him, staying naked on top of you. With one move, he removed your nighty and massaged your breasts, when his face leaned towards your neck, giving you soft kisses. He finally removed your underwear and trusted inside you. His moans were so deep and his eyes locked in you. Your arms, around his neck and his back, giving small nail scratches.

"I love you Joe." You moaned between the thrusts you received.

"I love you too y/n ..." He softly said when you felt him moving deeper. He knew every inch of your body. Literally. He knew how deep you could take him and how much. "Babe, are you close?" He asked making sure you'd finish too.

"Yes..." You moaned kissing his lips.

"Alright, because I am." he caressed your cheek and his moves were sudden and slow, which means he was done inside you, possibly fertilizing you. You came together and after removing himself from you, he wore his underwear and helped you get your clothes too. He covered you with the layers and hugged you tight.

"I hope this time it's happening." You said at his arms.

"Fingers crossed." He smiled at you.

You were the little spoon tonight; Joe was hugging you from behind and you felt protected. This is how he makes you feel everytime you're together. You're just made for each other.

You woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and frightened of your nightmare. You stood up from your bed crying loudly. Joe next to you grabbed a bottle of water, you always have at your stand, offering it. He gently rubbed your back telling you to calm down, it was just a bad dream, it's not reality. But what if it really is? What if you really are infertile? You were on the edge of going insane. He pulled you closer, playing with your hair so you'd eventually return to your sleep.

The next morning, Joe wasn't next to you. He probably went downstairs, making breakfast. You had to get ready and see him at the kitchen. But you heard speeches coming from there as you walked the stairs so you decided to eavesdrop. There was your younger brother Ben talking with him. That's how you actually met each other. Ben set you up.

"How's things?" Ben asked. You didn't really talk to him about you and Joe but Joe does. They are like best friends.

"Terrible." Joe admitted and Ben looked at him confused. "I mean, I love her but we keep failing on growing our family." He explained and took a sip of his coffee.

"How long have you been trying?" He asked preoccupied.

"Since the wedding night, counting three years." He declared.

"I've heard my mother talking with y/n about it but I didn't really pay attention. However, how do you feel about it?" Ben questioned.

"I can't blame y/n about this, it's happening to many women but I also can't see myself without kids." He opened up to his best friend. You instantly felt heart broken.

"And then what? Will you divorce her because of that? She loves you more than anything Joe." Ben explained.

"I can't divorce her. She's my everything. But I also don't want to keep trying. I want to have babies in this big house as soon as possible. I don't want to age." He shook his head broken hearted.

"You do feel sad about it. Do you have any idea how sadder it is for her? A baby is a bless." Ben protested. You wanted to hear more. They'd stop the conversation if you appeared in the kitchen.

"I'm not pressuring her. When we did the IVF, we were sure it'd happen but it died too. How many possibilities does she have when she gets older? Less than they already are." Joe questioned himself. Ben didn't say a thing.

You decided to get inside the kitchen, pretend like you heard nothing.

"Good morning sis." Ben smiled at you.

"Morning Ben." You neutrally said, faking what you thought before. You couldn't hide your anger at Joe's confession.

"Good morning my love." Joe attempted kissing you but you backed off. Both of them noticed your reaction and stared each other confused. "So um, are you okay?" He checked on you.

"I'm perfect." You lied. You're dying inside.

"Maybe I should get going." Ben felt the tense and had to leave.

"Yes you should. I'll take you to the door." You raised you eyebrow at him.

You were with Ben at the door and Joe eavesdropped without being noticeable.

"The next time you'll talk with Joe about my lack of fertility, I'll murder you." You threatened him.

"You know you can't do it sis." He joked.

"I can't, but I can cut your balls and you'll see who's the weak." You aggressively said to him and he didn't say a word.

"Damn sis, okay." He was defeated and left your home leaving you with your husband.

He came out of the kitchen guilty. But it wasn't his fault. You just wanted to throw your weight somewhere else.

"You heard us?" He silently asked.

"Are you joking? Of course I did. Is that what you talk about with your friends outside?" You angrily argued.

"No! He asked me! Besides he's your brother, he can know about it." he pointed out.

"I don't want him to know! I won't even let my mother know from now!" You attacked.

"Fine! But he's my best friend! I want to talk to someone! Why don't you let me do it? I never pressure you so stop pressuring me!" He shouted leaving you at a staring shock.

"I want you to leave right now Joe." You silently closed your eyes pointing at the door. "And tell everyone we can't have kids because I am infertile." You were so ironic.

"Where will I go? Are you kicking me out of my home?" He concede.

"Yes I do and don't come back. I'm angry." You walked inside the kitchen and he followed you.

"But you'll be over it by evening." He calmly said.

"No I fucking won't!" You threw him a glass and it accidentally fell down at his feet, with some pieces of glass hurting his arms.

"You arrogant bitch!" He yelled coming to your place menacingly. "You want to kill me now or what?" He raised your hand on you and covered yourself with your arms, afraid if he'd hit you. Flashbacks of domestic violence crossed your mind. Your alcoholic father hitting you in every chance he'd get.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry!" You sat down at the floor, crying loudly and hiding yourself, so he wouldn't harm your body but your arms.

After Joe finding out what he was doing he shockingly moved his arms and sat in front of you, getting you inside his arms. He started crying too.

"I am sorry y/n, I didn't mean to do it! I'm just so sad." He whimpered at your neck.

"Please Joe, divorce me. I can't keep making you unhappy." You cried at his chest, avoiding the eye contact.

"I can't do it. I love you, I'm literally attached to you, mentally, emotionally and physically. I just can't." He kissed you. "We'll find some way to fix it. We can do it, I know." He silently cried, hiding his voice cracks.

[tinselkj]

A night in your arms, forever in my heart

Who: KJ Apa & Andy Biersack Where: KJ’s House When: September 3rd Notes: Andy comes over to talk about all the drama KJ has been in, only to talk about feelings. Mentions of Lili, Ro, Michael @hwfameandy

KJ: Reading over the text messages again, KJ was glad he had a friend like Andy when all things came down to it. He knew he was the one person who wouldnt judge him, or his inability to choose what he really wanted. Did he love his ex still? Of course he did. He was ready to ask her to marry him before the breakup, but he had to be realistic. Six months had passed without any contact besides the occasional hello when the situation was required. Now with Ronen and his pressuring to come out and just be with him..to make a choice. It was draining for the now redhead. Unsure of how much time actually went by, KJ heard the knock on his door causing Keo to start barking. "Oh stop it..its just Andy." The man stated, silencing the dog as he laid back down on his dog bed a few moments later. "Hey." KJ smiled once the door was open, moving aside to let his friend enter his home.

Andy:  Truthfully, Andy hates know KJ was going through a difficult situation like this. He knew what it was like, there was a reason that not many people knew about his previous relationship, the two of them did a pretty good job at keeping it a secret so it was safe to say that Andy knew how he felt in so many way and he just wanted to be there for him. He knew that having a shoulder can make all the difference in the world. He made sure he had his dog with him, the small Yorke cuddled in his arm as he made his way up to the others front door. Andy smiled when KJ opened the door. Daredevil starting to bark slightly when he heard his voice. Andy handed him the small dog as he walked into the house. “Sometimes I hate that he’s blind.” He laughed as he instantly made a b line to Kao, leaning down to pet him slightly. “Hi buddy!” He smiled and patted his head before standing up to face KJ. “You look like shit, man.”

KJ:  As the small dog started barking, the smile on KJs face grew wider, pulling the small dog close to his chest. "Well hello there little one." He spoke, scratching behind his ears as he followed Andy into his house-making sure to lock the door behind him. "Aww dont listen to him, little man. You're just lucky you dont have to see your owner's weird face." If there was one thing he liked about his friendship with Andy, it was the fact that they could insult each other all day long, and still know the other will always have his back. No matter the circumstances. "You would too if you had to deal with a grown man acting like a child. I know leading him on wasnt ok, but holy hell did he cause nothing but stress the past few nights."

Andy:  “My face is weird but at least my hair isn’t fake.” Laughed as he pulled his jacket off and tossed it on the back of the couch, his tattooed arms now fully exposed. He ruffled his own hair as he moved to take a seat. “You don’t need someone like that, K. If he’s gonna be a man than he needs to act like one and not get fuckin butt hurt when you lay out your situation.” He spoke as he looked to the other. “Come on, sit, tell me everything.” He added as he reached out to lightly tug on his arm. No matter what happened in his life, KJ was always the most important person in it, and he needed him more than the redhead would ever really understand.

KJ:   "Hey! Mine isnt by choice! Honestly I'm so scared I'll end up bald by the time I'm 40, and I really dont think I can pull that look off." Having to dye his hair three times a week, kj knew it was only a matter of time before his hair started to fall out from all of the chemicals. Once he was finished with Riverdale, he was never going to dye it red again. Watching as he took his jacket off, the man couldnt help but admire his ink, wishing he could get more himself. "I know I'm overreacting a bit right now about the situation since I had just as much involvement in this..but it really irritates me that he couldnt see how uncomfortable I was. If you want me to choose you..how am I supposed to when you cant even pick up on when I'm uncomfortable?" Sitting down next to him, KJ opted to lay his head in his friends lap, wanting someone to run their fingers through his hair as he spoke. "And if the first guy I've really slept with is willing to put that sort of ultimatum up..choosing him or lil..then do I even want to explore that side?" KJ was beyond annoyed at this point and his animated gestures emphasized that.

Andy:  “No, you’ll have hair for a very long time. Just gotta take care of it when you’re done with the show.” He was laughing softly through the words. He didn’t mind the actors original hair color, but there was something about the red that he really enjoyed seeing. When he laid his head on his lap, Andy moved to run fingers though KJs hair, slowly twirling strands around his finger as he looked down at him. “If you think you can have something with that side, don’t let one person ruin the whole thing for you.” He kept his town softly and relaxed. He could tell his friend was annoyed. “I promise you, we’re not all like him. Like I said to you, you need someone that’s going to understand where you’re coming from. No one should make you choose between them and Lili, not until they helped you truly discover who you are and what you want.”

KJ:  "Man I really hope so. It's not terribly damaged, but you can tell it's not as healthy as it should be." After the years of bleaching, the roots are a tad bit dry and no matter what I do to my hair, it hasnt fully gone away." Closing his eyes as Andy began to play with his hair, Keneti couldnt stop the small laugh that escaped his mouth at the thought of what he needed. "So basically what you're saying is I need you." He meant it as a joke, but the words held some volume to them. Andy had always been supportive, and if he wanted to explore this side of himself, he would want it to be with someone like Andy.

Andy:  “We can fix that, I fried my hair a long time ago, took a bit but I was able to get it fixed. Now I don’t mind it at all. And to be honest, I really love your hair.” He smiled softly when he saw KJ starting to close his eyes. He coughed a bit in surprise when he heard the words pass the other lips. He chuckled a bit of a nervous chuckle as he used his free hand to run his fingers through his own hair. “I- well.. I certainly wouldn’t be against it.” He whispered and his fingers were back in the others hairs, slowly sliding fingers through as many strands as he could.

KJ:  "I would greatly appreciate that." He smiled as he opened his eyes for a moment to look at the man. "You love it? Really? Well I suppose I can trust you seeing as you have really amazing style in general." Hearing how his statement caught him off guard, KJ laughed wholeheartedly "what happened to you not wearing your emotions on your sleeve? Because that's what you'd be doing. I'm such a hopeless romantic, that if anything happened between us, I would want that. I would need someone to pour my love into, and you've said you're not about that." If anything he was just messing around with him, but he did make a valid point.

Andy:  Andy nodded his eyes slowly, blue eyes locking on brown ones that looked back at him. “I do. I think you have very beautiful hair.” He smiled through his response. Those words that followed caused Andy to move slowly, sitting up just a bit more in his seat but made sure to keep the actors head in his lap. “Well.. you’re someone i trust, someone that’s never screwed me over. Wearing my emotions on my sleeve seems to be natural when it comes to you.” He shook his head when he spoke. He really wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing here, but he was going to run with it and see which way his own emotions took him, even if it meant he had that underlying fear of getting attached and coming out the loser. “You’re easy to talk to, your sense of humor keeps me going. I’d do it for you.”

KJ:  He was starting to cross a line that he didnt want to cross. Not with Andy. As the words I'd do it for you passed through his lips, KJ pulled away, turning towards his best friend as he tugged on his short locks. "I cant do this. I cant risk what happened with Ronen, happening with you. I know you would never pressure me to come out, and I know you wouldnt hold my past against me, but I cant ruin our friendship. You're the one person in my life that I can tell anything to. You're the one person I genuinely love, and I'm not going to let my confusion ruin anything between us. Not when you've been hurt as much as I have. I refuse to be just another person in a long list of people who let you down. You're different to me..you're special and I cant ruin that..I wont ruin that." He wasnt sure when he had taken Andy's hands into his own, but he finally noticed as his thumbs lazily stroked the back of his hands.

Andy:  Andy kept his eyes on KJ, it was like he couldn’t look away from him no matter how hard he tried. When he hand was taken, his heart was racing in his chest. He laced his fingers with his and squeezed his hand tightly. “This is Ronen? The guy you’re talking about is Ronen? That pissed me off a little because he was texting me earlier and coming onto me hardcore.” He spoke softly as he used his free hand to pull his phone from his pocket to show KJ the messages. “Keneti, listen to me. I’m not going to let anything come between us.. and if that means that I have to swallow my feelings for you then I will, because we both know I’m kinda crazy about you. But I won’t force you into anything. You’re the only one I trust not to hurt me again. I haven’t even told you about my last relationship because I don’t want you to see me weak, because I want to be the person you need me to be.”

KJ:  Looking at the man in pure confusion as he handed him his phone, KJ scrolled through the messages between the pair, growing more and more irritated by the moment. "I'm glad you showed me this. I cant believe how stupid I was to believe that he might wait around until I figured my shit out." Handing his phone back once he reached the end of the conversation, kj nodded his head, letting him know he was in fact listening to his every word. "You were my first crush when I realized I might like guys as well as girls. So that was a wild ride to try and figure out on my own because I couldn't really come to you and say 'hey..I have this massive crush on you, and I'm not sure what this means.' Andy..this is a two way street. You cant expect me to tell you everything when you wont tell me when something happens to you. Maybe I want to be there for you as well?"

Andy:  “Ronen is a player, and I would hate to see him hurt you.” He spoke as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket. There was a lot that Andy was going through and he was the kind of person that would help others with their issues before he would let anyone help him out. “I wish you would have come to me, I would have helped you figure it all out.” His tone was softly as he spoke. One hand holding onto his while the other made its way back into red locks. “I used to date Michael Clifford, he ghosted me for thirteen months, got himself a girlfriend, and had the audacity to tell me that he missed me.” He spoke out as he leaned his head back against the couch. This was the first time he was ever truly opening up about the other and it caused a small chuckle to pass his lips. “I even got into a fight with his girlfriend because apparently the way I treated him was not deserved, when all I did was tell him how bad he fucked me up.”

KJ:  "Yeah well, I dont see anything happening now that I saw that. I'm trying to work my feelings and emotions out, and if he cant wait just a few days while I get my feelings in order, then hes really not worth my time." It hurt knowing he so quickly went onto the next guy who showed him just a little attention, and yet still had the audacity to say he had a date planned. He was trying not to play with anyone's emotions, and he wasn't about to let someone do just that to him. Listening to what had happened with his ex, kj saw red. Anger slowly bubbling in the pit of his stomach as it sank in on what he did to Andy. "Fuck him. You deserve so much better and hes lucky I'm not going over there with a fucking baseball bat for hurting you like that." He knew he was over reacting, but he hated the idea of anyone hurting his best friend. "Its not your fault that he cant keep it in his pants and be a decent human being and tell you it's not going to work. I'm sorry Andy..." he wanted to protect him from anymore heartache, but he wasn't sure what else he could do.

Andy:  "Anyone who plays with your emotions doesn't deserve you, like I said to you earlier, you deserve to be treated like a king." Andy couldn't help but laugh at the way KJ acted and it was a genuine laugh, one that he hadn't let out in a long time. "Calm down there firecracker." He smirked as he moved slowly to lay down on the couch with the other, placing his body just behind the actors. He wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close to his chest. "I'm not thinking about him right now, and I don't want to think about him." His hand lifted for fingers to lightly run along the hair at the back of KJ's neck.

KJ:  Forcing himself to calm down as he moved Into a spooning position, KJ sighed in contentment as his back pressed against his strong chest. "Alright fine. But if he hurts you again, you're not going to be able to stop me." He wasn't sure how long they stayed there, or when he fell asleep in his best friends arms, but for once in a very long time, Keneti felt safe. He felt like he didn't have to prove anything or choose who he had to be..he could just be himself.

[claimingtheflame]

Lincoln Trail Mental Health Facility Part 1

Once again I want to reiterate that a lot of these posts are diaries I wrote never finished. Some of them jump around in my life. The story is about something that took place several years after D left

I remember the moment I turned in the paper. It was nothing. The last question asked my thoughts on the final death of Juliet. I sympathize. To this day I do. Many people probably do. She ended her life because she was in the grip of a mythic tragedy. Who could walk away from such a fate?

Except. Even though this is exactly how I felt, my teenage brain did not yet have the skills to articulate this. I ended up writing something like "I feel what juliet did was right. The world is ugly and filthy and who wants to live in it without someone you love." Because I was an edgy goth kid.

This would send me into the clutches of my own sort of tragedy. A brutal, destructive storm began churning that friday that would completely knock me out of my stupid unlaced combat boots on monday.

It happened like this. I walked into first period, Biology. I sat next to Adam, my closest friend. A knock came shortly after the period started and it turned out to be a senior girl who wanted me to be escorted to Mrs Mudds office. I did not know who that was. It turned out she was a counselor. She had coppery hair and a long, perky, somewhat simian face.

In this story, there is a long list of incompetant people who should not have had their jobs, and possibly should have been in prison. Mrs Mudd is not one of them. As much as I dislike her to this day. Maybe she did really mean well. Maybe she was just swept away by the drama of the whole situation. This is Elizabethtown KY after all.

We talked for a few hours. Looking back, I really don't think I said anything to her that should have been construed that I was depressed or suicidal. We talked about a secret place I visited in the woods behind my neighborhood. We talked about various religious beliefs and about music I listened to. Either way, my mom picked me up from school and I was somewhat excited for the break-in monotony.

We have drove to Lincoln Trail Behavioral Health Center , and I really didn't know what was happening. I had friends who had gone, but I didn't really believe that's why we were there until I saw the look on my mom's face as we walked in. There was a serious feeling of betrayal then. Like God woman haven't you put me through enough. This was an unfair thought. My mother is the second person blameless in the story. I would find out later that basically everybody from my school was telling her I was planning on killing myself quite literally. Mrs. Mudd had apparently told them that the place in the woods was my planned spot to die. I had self-harmed in the past. It was all pleasure related though and I thought it had nothing to do with my mental health. Either way it had been months prior to this, but it added to the Snowball Effect.

I'll admit that I didn't really understand my own mental health at this age. I had just been released from D's clutches only a few precious years earlier. I had no clue what was going on. I was going through a suspended childhood in many ways. All that said, Lincoln Trail Behavioral Health System did not help or address any my mental health issues. Let me reiterate. Aside from some experimental self harm 6 months prior(I received counseling, was evauted, etc), at age 15 I was pretty well behaved. I rarely got in trouble. I certainly never acted disturbed. Lincoln helped nobody who actually went there. In fact I barely escaped with my life and sanity. This is not a dramatic statement. This was a terrible place, as you will learn.

I was obviously scared the moment I walked into this place, all the stories I heard. We were buzzed through a security door after a few accusatory last looks at my mother when I went in quietly. I heard if you resisted or yelled that they gave you a shot in your ass of some kind of sedative. I did not want to give anybody the satisfaction roughing up the goth kid and shooting them in the ass. This was a short-lived Triumph. I would learn quickly that this place was not for me and that there was some horrible mistake pretty early on . I was led to a room and told to take off my clothes down to my underwear. I was told to turn around in front of this guy, who nodded with approval after watching and told me to put back on my clothes. I was wearing really baggy SpongeBob boxers. I guess I could have gotten away with hiding something into the facility. That's the thing. I wasn't a f****** delinquent. Not yet or not anymore depending on how you look at the chronology of things I did as a teenager. Anyway I do remember a kind moment here. The guard escorted me down a hallway and a girl smiled at me brightly. "It's really not that bad here." She said. I smiled and shrugged. This was more of a kind gesture than I realized, I would find this out later.

I was then led to the office of the first real fuckup in this story. This would be my counselor. I don't remember her name. She was somewhat nice to begin with. I'll call her mrs. Wannabe because later she would read a bunch of poems about her Native American ancestry. This extremely blond, blue-eyed woman with a square German face and freckles. Me and Wannabe would talk for about 30 minutes and she would send me on to my actual psychiatrist. I do remember this man's name. I will never forget it. His name was dr. Kodali. We can call him King fuckup. Fuckup prime.

He was a small man, with a small mustache, and skin the color between a beet and a russet potato. He spoke in broken English. He asked me why I thought I was there. I told him about the paper I wrote. He smiled and said " yes we all say things we don't mean. " he asked me if I follow the rules at home. I said yes as long as they are within reason. He laughed at me and said " my own daughter thinks several of my rules are not within reason. Children come to learn to obey. " we did not talk about depression, and this statement would turn out to be significant in many ways. It would come to outline the failure of this institution to children who actually suffered depression. Which I will admit that back then I might have been suffering from. Certainly anxiety. But who doesnt, to some degree?

Let us frame our Shit Pit King with what I didnt know about him before I explain my own experiences. He received kickbacks for pushing certain medicines. This is an important detail. He had been accused on several occasions of over-prescribing meds. He was widely hated as a doctor, and I can't believe he still has a job.

During my first visit, he was mostly dismissive. Interrupted me and laughed at me often. He was mostly interested in my behavior. If I acted up. If I respected authority. Literally nothing about suicide was discussed. So why did this guy prescribe meds at the end of our conversation? He picked up the phone, called my mother, and gave her the dosage information. I narrowly escaped this medicine, whatever it was, due to a surprising hero figure in the story who we will discuss later.

He dismissed me and I was sent to "group" for the first time. This is nothing like "support groups" you see in Lifetime movies. It was a huge room, an obnoxious amount of desk chairs crammed in a circle. Boys on one side. Girls on the other.

I immediately dislike this. It feels tense, and I feel scrutinized. I try to ask a girl near me if I can use one of her pencils. She folds her arms and rolls her eyes. " I can't talk to him." She says to the ceiling. This gets the attention of the counselor of the group, who is actually just an early 20-somethings aide of some kind, there are a few of these. This one I call Nick neckbeard. He says " we are here to work on our problems, not to date. " I am immediately embarrassed. I definitely wasn't trying to date anybody. I let it go but it does set the tone.

Since I am the new kid, a round of introductions is done. Not a lot of these people are notable other than the fact that a lot of them are in here for drugs. Some are in here as an in-between stage between Juvenile Detention and Society. I get the distinct feeling that most of the boys are here for drugs and violent crime. I reflect bitterly that I am in here for writing a stupid paper.

There are several thug wannabe types, maybe two or three other white guys that aren't like that. One obvious skinhead as well. It's split in half racially. Five white Boys & 5 black. There was a round of introductions. Most were there for, as mentioned, substance abuse and violent behavior. The skinhead boasted of being in because he stuck foreign objects in his body. He stabbed himself with pens and various utensils. Another boy was in for desecrating graves. The girls were almost exclusively substance abuse. There was one Arab girl that was in there, and though she talked much I never quite understood why except that I knew she definitely needed to be in there. She either talked incessantly of sex or repeatedly told this story about a "bad doll" that lived in her house- all in broken english.

So this was the introduction to the place. Honestly yes, I would have problems with the other patients. That's really out of the scope of the story though. They are mental patients. What do you expect?

The true problem with Lincoln trail was its staff and overall structure. Such a problem was this structure that it would break me down to that kernel of a child you see on all the other stories on this blog. Such that Lincoln trail would reduce me again to that boy child whispering a question to the darkness: "Why am I being punished?" It would make me know, through recognition and reinforcement of abusive themes I was already familiar with, that I was not in a safe place.

The first night I felt this first blow through humiliation and guilt. It was a simple thing really. We were sent to bed. A corridor with a small basket on the outside of each door. A female counselor was pointing each of us down the hall to our rooms. When my time came, she pointed vaguely down the hall to the right side. I tried to ask for clarification and she shouted "Right there!" And my immediate reaction to being chastised like this was to go to one of the rooms with my belongings. She did not stop me.

I noticed one of the wooden bed frames(they were double rooms with single bathrooms) had no mattress. My roommate was a boy my age. He had close-buzzed haircut. He seemed politely surprised. I shrugged and got in the shower. When I turned the water off, I heard yelling on the other side of the door.

The boy was yelling angrily that he did not know who I was and that he had nothing to do with me. He was explaining that I came into his room unbidden and to no fault of his own. I dressed quickly and came out of the bathroom as soon as possible. A middle-aged blond woman grabs me by the arm and began leading me out of the room. When I asked her where we were going she did not say anything but tightened her grip and sat me down in a chair. This woman becomes important later. Five minutes later Dr kodali came into the office with my other counselor, both looking at me sternly.

I apologize for not knowing the exact words of the conversation. Basically the boy was supposed to have his room to his self. He was gay and had been known to have had sexual contact with other patients. They grilled me hard about whether or not I was gay and deciding whether I should be disciplined. Dr kodali somehow remembers that that my girlfriend had given testimony(positively) over my mental health and he seemed to leave it at that. The blonde lady didnt seem convinced.

When she led me back to my(actual) room, she took the liberty of going through my clothes and belongings. She confiscated basically all of my clothing, saying that it would distract patients(black jeans and tees...none of my flashier stuff). She confiscated my copy of Cannery Row, all my homework, and my shampoo. She really let off on me while doing this. Talking about how sneaky I was and if I was planning anything with Chester(the gay guy) that she would know.

This was Day 1. I would kneel beside the bed that night and pray(I just prayed to 'the goddess' back then), just to feel peace inside. I was so put-upon about the stupid clothes. They were my armor, in a way.

The next day would be a lot worse. I'd learn a lot.

[andymull]

WWE Elimination Chamber 2020 - Preview & Predictions

Nattie vs Liv Morgan vs Shayna Baszler vs Asuka vs Ruby Riott vs Sarah Morgan - Elimination Chamber Match - Winner Faces Becky Lynch At Wrestlemania

This is the main event?? Really? No offense to the girls but there’s only one winner in the match, the others haven't had feuds for months/ arent anywhere near a world title match at Mania quality/ have only recently returned from injury and isnt ready for the title feud just yet/ or should be in the middle of the build for a women’s tag title feud for Mania. This is bleak

They really have ONLY included Sarah Logan in the match just to solely have the Riott Squad former members face off for one spot, that’s it..... to even suggest she deserves this spot instead of Kairi is laughable. And that’s not even mentioning the fact that the IIconics haven't been on tv for what? 110 days is it now?

This is all Shayna build for the Becky match, any other winner results in a less heated match at Mania and isnt required. I still say that Shayna should have won the Rumble to really get her push started, and that Charlotte going to NXT didnt need her to win the Rumble to cause a big impact. Baszler dominates here for me, eliminates at least 4 of the others on way to victory with Becky Lynch stood cage side with a face of confidence slightly slipping after seeing the dominance - BASZLER

Unless Ronda takes out Nattie and enters the Chamber.......

Braun Strowman (c) vs Shinsuke Nakamura, Cesaro and Sami Zayn - 3 on 1 Handicap Match

Four guys I like in a match I couldn't care less about sadly.

Will Braun go over clean and destroy any of the oppositions chances of getting another title match anytime soon, or will others come to his aid to support him?

Will any of this matter tomorrow?

Will they just have a multi man match on this weeks Smackdown regardless to find the challenger for Braun at Mania? I guess so - STROWMAN 

Bobby Roode + Dolph Ziggler vs Heavy Machinery vs Lucha House Party vs The Uso’s vs John Morrison + The Miz (c) vs The New Day - Smackdown Tag Team Championship Elimination Chamber Match 

I imagine the guys involved here will have a number of spots planned for this to make the match memorable, as really the biggest spot of the match wont be the winners it will be Otis getting his hands on Ziggler............and the biggest cheer at Mania will be for Otis kissing Mandy as well.

So for this match I think we can obviously rule out the Lucha House Party, late substitutions for The Revival, as well as Roode/Ziggler and H Machinery as I see them fighting without the belts at Mania. So we are down to the front row of the image, for me I see the champs retain and we move to a three way for the belts at Mania between those teams - MORRISON/MIZ

Aleister Black vs AJ Styles - No DQ Match

I really wish this was on to put over Black as a massive threat and one of the next challengers for the title on Raw, sadly I think this ends with them building the Styles/Undertaker feud with Taker costing Styles the match and Black winning like an after thought.

I hope that puts Black in a position to go against Andrade down the road to take the title and elevate higher than its at currently (if he keeps the title that is)

But yeah this is all about the final moments of the match, the bout will see some great action but none of it will matter here as other things are more important for them.............unless they plan on Black/Taker vs The Club at Mania - BLACK

The Street Profits (c) vs Seth Rollins & Murphy - Raw Tag Team Championship Match 

So happy for the Profits to win the titles and hope they can retain tonight and keep them awhile longer facing great wrestlers to impress more.

The challengers dont need the titles, well Seth doesn't but Murphy could do with a belt to elevate his-self more but there are other options for that down the road - STREET PROFITS 

Andrade (c) vs Humberto Carrillo - United States Championship Match

These two always bring a great match when facing each other, id love for Andrade to keep the belt and move up to bigger challengers but it does feel like its time for Humberto to win the belt - CARRILLO

Daniel Bryan vs Drew Gulak

Im so happy that Bryan is getting to work with the guys he wants and help out others in getting better footing in the company.

Does he decide to try and put over Gulak to make him a serious threat, or just have a super competitive bout but ultimately take the win?

Whoever wins I hope Bryan carries this on and helps out others - BRYAN 

War Raiders vs The Boy Toyz

A late addition to the show on the kick off segment before the PPV, an easy one sided squash - RAIDERS 

-----------------

What a weird, strange looking card this is. Neither Lesnar or Goldberg are booked in a match, usually one of them has to defend in the chamber to make a massive men’s match but none of that’s happening tonight. So many great names are off this card with no sniff at being involved in the Mania build even slightly, straight to the battle royal for most I guess.

Hopefully afew of the matches should be great quality wise to enjoy and take in, and hell if not spend alittle money and join The Lapsed Fan’s Patreon and listen to their takes on the show and cry in laughter 

Everyone have fun and get your sleep in as the Wrestlemania card will probably start in afew days with how many matches they’ll have

Bye for now

Andy

[arthurflecksgirl]

Hello !!! Can I have Arthur x reader? Reader has been so caught up in her work that they forget to eat. They get extremely lightheaded and stumble a little. Arthur steadies them and he is worried when he finds out they forgot to eat. While he is making food they faint and land (luckily) on the couch. When he's done, he comes back , at first he thinks that they're just laying down but he kinda freaks out when he realizes that reader is unconscious. ( I forget to eat sometimes) THANK YOU🥺💚

Thank you for so much for your request @theichabbieclub !!! :)

I wrote you this piece and I hope you`ll like it !!! :)

Coming home from work was one of the best parts of the day for you. Especially since you moved into Arthurs apartment with him. Apartment 8J was not just a place to live. It was home to you. You have only been here for a couple of months now, but it felt like there was no life before Arthur. Sometimes you forgot what life felt like before his arms around you, before the unconditional love he felt for you. All those years before him didnt made sense. But sometimes things just don`t make sense until they do. He was your reason to get up in the morning. The reason why you always had a song on your mind. Every song you listened to seemed to be about him. Every poem you read reminded you of the love you shared. Arthur was everything you wanted and more. Even the simple act of turning the keys and openening the doorlock to get back home to him felt special. Sometimes you got so caught up in work, it felt like working was stealing your time. Knowing  Arthur would be home, waiting for you to lie down on the couch and relax with him helped you to get through the day. You kept a polaroid photo of the first day you met in your purse and looked at it, everytime it got stressful at your working place. The photo was all shaky because Arthur was really shy to get his photo taken. He was convinced that his hair didnt looked good enough so he tried to steal the camera from you. He loved being childish and playful at times. That was when the picture was taken and you loved the pure and honest engery to it. It was so him. You stumbled through the door and threw the keys beside. A headache started to set in and made you feel a little weak in the knees. You were thankful that the building had an elevator. Climbing up some stairs would have been a chore on days like these. "Artie, I am home". Arthur was sitting on the couch, writing in his journal as an old tape of the Murray Franklin show was playing. He immediately stood up to welcome you in his arms. You loved his sloppy kisses upon yor forehead. It was something he did a lot when you came home and you thought it was an adorable thing to do. What an loving and caring boyfriend he was. Always so thankful to have you on his side. You rubbed your own dimples "You`ve been writing?" Arthur pointed at his journaly "Yeah, I was making some notes about Murrays behaviour and his timing. I can learn a lot from him. And I wrote two or threee jokes. I have to figure out the punshline of the last one though." You nodded. Your vision seemed to blurr a bit. "Y/N? are you okay? You seem like you don`t feel so good? " Now that you were home it seemed like all the stress from work was falling off you. But you felt so incredibly weak. It was the kind of tiredness that got to your bones. "I´m okay. Just a little....dizzy" you covered your face with your hand and closed your eyes, hoping the dizzyness would go away as soon as you´ll open them again. "Oh baby, I dont don`t think so. I`m kinda worried. Is there anything I can do ?" you felt his hands stroking up and down your arm, but you weren`t even sure if this was really happening right now. Everything became a blurr, even the sensation of being touched. "Arthur....I....I dont....know....I´m not sure" you walked up to the bathroom "I`ll be back in a minute. You stumbled over your feet and almost landed on the floor. Thank god Arthur was there to make you steady. Everything about your condition seemed familar to him. Being lightheaded, stumbling, feeling dizzy and weak. He was struggeling with this a lot when he wasnt eating due to his medication. He supported you to stand up straight. "Did anything happen to you today Y/N? ? I mean, something is causing your condition. Are you in pain or something?" his hand caressed your back in small circles, which felt so good. His hands always managed to make you feel better. No matter how stressed or drained you felt. His hands gave you hope and life. The gentlesses of his touch was the most wonderful comfort you could have ever imagined. "I`m not sure...it`s hard to concentrate right now...is all so blurry" you mumbled into his hair as you hugged him. All you needed was him right now. His arms around you. To be steady. He would be there if you were about to fall. Your anchor. Arthur pettet the back of your head "Ummm...honey, I now how it feels. I feel like that when I`m unable to eat because of my meds. You gotta rest a bit. " Now that Arthur mentioned this, it came to your mind. You `ve been so cought up in work that you totally forgot to eat! His arms still held you tight, so your knees wouldnt give in. Arthur could feel the weakness of your body through his embrace. Usually he was the one who must have been held and supported. You couldnt even remember how many times you had to pick him up from the floor. Now he was there for you. And thats how you knew that no matter what, you would always still have each other. No matter what kinda storm was closing in. You and Arthur would face it togeteher. Hand in hand. Arthur loosened the embrace to be able to face you "What? Oh no Y/N. Thaat doesnt sound good. I`m familar with that. It can make you weak up until a point where you get very lightheaded. I dont want this to happen to you. You gotta eat something! I´ll be in the kitchen and make you some food. I´ll be right back, okay?" You nodded thankfully. "Yeah. Thank you,darling". He stroke your cheek "Can you stand?" "Yes Arthur. I guess I feel a bit better now compared to when I just got through the door". "Thats good. I`ll hurry up to get you something. You can take my journal and check out the last three pages if you want. Let me know what you think of my lastes jokes". Arthur smiled the sweetest smile when he got to the kitchen. You saw him standing there, making some sandwiches while you picked up his diary. There was no wall between the kitchen and the  living room, so you were able to watch him making you food. You loved him so much. He had a worried look upon his face but he was humming. It was something that calmed him down when he was nervous. He cared so much about you. Arthur glanced at you. You could tell from the look in his eyes that he was madly in love with you. You tried to read the latest stuff written in his diary but the letters became all blurry... Rubbing your eyes wouldnt help. It was impossible to concentrate on what has been written on the pages. You tried anyway "One clown says to another `Hey you know whats funnay?` ....." Your vision started to fade and you took a look around to the kitchen to check if Arthur is done making food, before everything blacked out. ... Arthur decorated the last sandwich with a little heart he cut out of a pickle. It was the little things. He loved to decorate your food to make it look a little bit more special and to make you feel loved. Cutting out little hearts of vegetables was one of his fave things to do. Showing you attention made him happy. He waited for someone who loved him back all his life and now that he finally had you, he wanted to make sure to make you feel loved every second you spent with each other. Sometimes you gave him so much love that he felt like it was hard to keep up with. He held all these feelings inside of him and tried his best to let them show. Some days it was a little harder for him to put them into words than others. So he was always thinking of a way to proof his love to you. "Y/N? Do you want tea, coffe or a hot chocloate?" he asked you, while he opened the cupboard. No answer "Baby?". Arthur looked over to the couch. It seemed like you fell asleep. For a moment he asked himself if it would be better to let you rest. But then again he really thought you should eat something. So he walked up to you and put the plate with the self made sandwhiches on the table. His hand caressed your cheek but you didnt felt it. " I`ve made you yor fave sandwiches. Wake up, my love." Arthur looked at you with concern "Y/N? " He realized that you lost your consciousness and -thank god- landed on the couch. "Oh no,no,no, Y/N....wake up, please". He touched your face with his shaking hand. Arthur. He felt overwhelmed by the situaton and started to sweat within seconds, running his hand through his hair.  "You gotta... wake up. Can you....can you hear me?" You looked like you had a fever dream but still no reaction. Arthurs eyes wandered to the phone. Should he call a doctor? He would, if you wouldnt wake up within the next two minutes.   He got up from the couch and walked up and down the room. What now? He never was in a sitiation like this before. Usually he was the one fainting or seeking help. He felt like he wasnt very good in what he was doing right now.  "Arthur. Think. Try to think for gods sake. She needs you now. Y/N needs you now. " he talked to himself, getting more nervous with every second that past. There was no time to waste. He had to wake you up now. He couldnt handle seeing you like this. The love of his life lying fainted on the couch. So powerless. He sat down beside you and kept talking to you, while his leg started to bounce. Something he had to deal with everytime he got nerveaous. And this time it was bad. He felt like his whole body was shaking from his bouncy leg. Arthur pressed his left hand against his  upper thigh. "Y/N....I`m right here. Can you hear me? Please answer me or give me a sign if you can hear me?! Otherwise I will call a doctor...please". Arthr felt a laugh crawling up his throath. Not now.  He coughed it away. Trying to keep it down. He felt his eyes watering. His heart was racing in his chest. Arthur flet close to a panic attack. He knew this. He felt it before. But never because of someone he loved as much as he loved you. This fear was worse. If anything every happened to you..... This was too much. But he had to stay calm for you. He was the only one who could help you right now. And he would. Arthur took your face between his hands "Baby?" You finally moved. A quiet mumble escaped your dry lips. Arthurs face lighted up. "Oh thank god" he whispered to himself. "Arthur?" "Yes Y/N....can you hear me now?" "Yeah....what....happened?" "You fainted and landed on the couch. I first thouht you fell alseep but you were unconciousness and couldnt hear me. Arthur would tell you that he was close to a panik attack. He wanted you to feel as save as possible. "Oh...Now I remember I was feeling dizzy when I got home.." your hand reached for his. "Right. You said you fotgot to eat. So I made you some sandwhiches and when I got bck from the kitchen thats how I found you. I got so worried...." "I`m so sorry I scared you, Artie. This happened to me before. Sometimes I just forget to eat and thats the result. I never wanted you to deal with this. Sorry, darling". He handed you the plate "Please eat something, okay? Your body needs it. No one knows that better than I do. Remember when I stopped eating for days because my meds made me feel sick everytime I took a bite? I couldnt even leave the bed anymore. Don`t do this to yourself. We need to stay strong for each other. And later I will try to eat something,too. Okay?" You nodded thankfully  and took a bite from the sandwhich "Mhh....self made?" "Of course! They will make you feel better soon" he smiled. "Ohhh Artthur. There is a little pickle heart! You`re always so thoughtful. Now that I know that you made it with so much love it tastes even better." Arthur placed the plate with the rest of the food in his lab and put his arm around you. "I`m glad to hear that Y/N." Arthur watched you eating and felt his muscles relax again. His leg was calm. Arthur took the last sandwhich in his hand and let you take a bite after another. "I´m feeling better now. Thank you so much, Arthur. For taking care of me." Your hand played with one of his brown curls. "Don`t thank me for that. Thats what im here for. Loving you. Taking care of you.  Just the way you do take care of me. And I know I am no easy patient to handle" . There was so much love in Arthurs eyes. "So what do you think of my new jokes?" " I wanted read them but I guess that was  the moment  I fainted". "Oh....I see. How about we cuddle up in bed after you finshed the sandwhich, I´ll make you a hot chocolate and read you my latest jokes? I guess you need some good laughs now?!"

You took the last bite of the sandwhich before you placed a soft kiss upon his lips "That sounds wonderful, Arthur. Your jokes are the best medicine anyway."