#I REMEMBER READING THIS THE FIRST NIGHT I FOUND ELLIS STUFF AND JUST

[megalomaniacz]

I’m actually in LOVE with crybaby!!! It’s so good😫😫😫

CRYBABY! - (E.W) PT8, FINAL PART!

pairing: mean/cruel ellie x sensitive/emotional reader.

synopsis: you weren’t you anymore.

a/n: it’s so over…thank you all for the love you’ve shown crybaby! i’m happy to say i’m actually proud of something i’ve written, for the first time in a long time. thank you for reading and for all your comments and support! tags: @skylerwhitwyo

you’re a crisis of my faith

masterlist.

you weren’t you anymore. you weren’t you when abby opened the door to find you and ellie tangled together in an illicit affair. you weren’t you when you looked into her eyes, saw the pain and agony, and asked her if she didn’t mind closing the door. that you were busy doing something.

you weren’t you because you didn’t chase after her when she left. because you didn’t apologize, you just went on as you were. forgetting. you went on forgetting all the way home in her car. melting the pain away, filling the silence with meaningless conversation she was too upset to engage in. knuckles white while she gripped the steering wheel.

you’re not yourself.

at first it was fun to let go with ellie. she liked that you didn’t care anymore. that you could joke around with each other. that she didn’t have to walk on eggshells with you. or atleast, that’s how she felt. until she was missing you on tour one night.

alone in a bar, waiting for dina and jesse, she came across someone that looked as doe eyed as you used to be. her heart started to sink when she skipped over.

another bar, years ago. when you’d caught her after another show in which she’d made a mistake. you came to her with flowers from a fan and a note. “hey ellie this is—“

“fuck i’m such a fucking idiot.” she blurts. you sigh, anticipating a string of curses and insults, but she sees the note and the flowers. “what’s this?”

“it’s a note from a fan, she didn’t get to catch you before you ran off.”

she holds her hand out and you place the piece of paper in it. standing as you hold the flowers. watching her read it.

this is the first concert i’ve been to in a while and i just want to say thank you so much. i struggle a lot with social anxiety and big crowds and stuff but i really wanted to see you. i’ve been a fan since i found your guy’s cover of take on me on soundcloud and it struck a deep chord within me. you’re amazing, you know that, but i just wanted to tell you that. just in case you forget.

— your biggest fan

you hand her the flowers, pretending not to see her tears. pretending not to feel teary eyed yourself. because you’d never seen her sad cry. you’ve seen her angry cry plenty of times, but never fix her face into a frown and let the strains of tears overflow. you look away as sadness fills the space between you.

“you’re ellie williams right?” the doe eyed girl brings her back to the present. she nods. “in the flesh.”

it only took a couple drinks and ellie’s charms to lure her away from the crowded area. nestled in the corner of the bar, ellie latching her mouth onto the girls neck. imagining your body in place of hers. pretending her moans were yours. wishing that she was you.

she’d felt dirty after she finished, a feeling that was entirely new to her. you both weren’t obligated to only be with each other after that night in the bathroom, but she couldn’t get you out of her mind. maybe it was because the girl reminded her of you? then she remembered that you weren’t like that anymore. that you had completely changed.

when tour ended and the group returned home, you took it upon yourself to throw a party. the old you would have gone for a small get together at your house, with the three of them and donuts, but the new you was leaning towards some club soirée.

you were excited to show everyone more of the new you. a new style to match your new personality. a new way of living to replace your old one. completely killing the girl you’d been before.

you met them at dina and jesse’s place, ensuring you’d be there the second they got off the tour bus. excitedly rushing over to give them a hug, and ellie an awkward handshake. they look you up and down, taking in your changed appearance with concern. “new clothes?” jesse speaks up.

“new me.” you shrug, helping them carry their bags up.

when everything is settled in, they all grab a seat on the couch. you slump into their loveseat, sighing. “so there’s this party...”

dina shakes her head. “no no absolutely not. i love you, but god we’re exhausted. no party tonight.”

“it’s tomorrow. it’s your welcome back party.” the corner of your mouth twitches. “i want to sleep for atleast a week.” dina huffs. “i need to go shower right now actually.” she gets up, placing a kiss on your forehead when she passes by. jesse does the same, following behind her.

you don’t take offense to it. this might’ve hurt you a little bit in the past, feeling stupid for planning a party when it’d make sense that they want to rest. now, you didn’t care. you could party by yourself. you could party with ellie.

you look over at her, and she looks like a wounded stray. like she’s guilty of something she didn’t do. you get up and join her in place of the lovebirds. a wide smile on your face. “are you gonna come to the party?”

she breathes. “maybe. i don’t know yet.”

it’s silent for a beat. you pull out your phone and she remembers the day she took it. the agony in your voice when you were asking for it back. the day she made you cry. she shakes away the thought.

“how about we play a game?”

the peace you were experiencing in the moment felt foreign. it’s been years since you had a chance to have quality time with ellie. without her ruining it, ofcourse. it was almost like those first few weeks back when you met. playing all the board games lodged in the bookshelf of jesse’s parent’s place. before him and dina had moved in together.

these were those very same games. monopoly, sorry, connect four, and more. you settled on connect floor, crisscrossing your legs on the floor. she joins you, getting comfortable.

“i’ll keep score!” you offer, going to your phone’s notes. before you can do much about it, you realize that it’s shutting off because the battery is low. you lodge it into your back pocket and shrug, grabbing an empty envelope off of the couples counter. “my phones dead, i’ll just write it.”

then you’re making a t chart, and ellie feels as if all the air is being kicked out of her lungs. your handwriting is the same as the one that was on that letter.

but that can’t be true, right? this is the same fan who’s been writing her for years. this is handwriting that’s been on signs held up at shows. the handwriting on a small cluster of loyal groupie’s handmade tshirts.

but surely she’d have noticed this before. you’d written in front of her before, right? memories were fuzzily being put back together in the moment. your unfiltered and unconditional love for her. your kindness that you’d extended even when she was mean to you. even when she was cruel.

even when you’d had enough of the tear filled nights and decided you needed time away. you still asked how ellie was, she could hear it on the other side of the fucking phone. when you were talking to dina and jesse. when you were communicating love through them to her.

you called all those rehab centers to get her help, that’s how jesse had found one so fast. you left her meds on the table for her the next morning, not dina. it was your voice telling her she’d had enough. it was you, being brave enough to take her verbal lashings because you knew if she didn’t take it out on you, she would take it out on herself.

it was you, it was always you. she was remembering now.

“ellie?”

you look away from the paper to find her crying. crying because the you that was always there, had slipped between her nimble fingers. had melted into the cracks of hatred. she was crying because she realized why she was feeling out of sorts. she hadn’t gotten a letter this week.

a letter from—well, you.

she wanted to yell at you. to scream at you. to call you stupid for staying around when you know how she is. she wanted to curse herself for getting you to let your guard down with a fake apology, and fucking it up all over again. for pushing you past your breaking point.

“i don’t wanna play anymore.” she felt disgusting. she felt like she was going to be sick. “ellie what’s the matter—“

she’s hyperventilating now, watching as you slowly slide towards her. extending your arms while you try to catch her in a hug. she thought back to the days she called you useless. called you pathetic. called you a crybaby.

you hold her, and it’s the first time she’s ever truly felt held. the first time she’s in your arms and she’s sober. the first time she’s in your arms and she feels sorry. truly, terribly sorry.

you pull her in closer to you, turning her onto her side so you can rub your thumb across her cheek. wiping some of her tears away. she begins to cry even harder, but you don’t push her away. even when your pants are soaked and snotty. you let her lay there, and cry into you.

[pedropascallme]

I’ll Always Come Back

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!Reader; no use of y/n

Summary: “The bed in the house you shared wasn’t all that large, but without Joel in it you felt completely dwarfed. It was like the mattress was swallowing you whole without Joel to anchor you to his broad shoulders and wide chest.”

Warnings: Smut (18+ MINORS DNI), dom/sub dynamics (dom!Joel x sub!Reader), fingering, oral (M & F receiving), p in v sex, praise kink, daddy kink. If I missed anything please let me know!

~~~

Summer in Jackson was a mixed bag. On the one hand, the warm weather made it much more encouraging to tend to your day-to-day activities; you could clean up around the house, sing along to the radio Joel had fixed up while you rearranged the cabin you had been gifted. You could go out and mingle without the need to put on layers and layers of clothing. And the plants—God, the plants! Things were growing, summer meant fresh greens and tending to your little plot of garden.

On the other hand, summer in Jackson meant extended patrols; the warm weather encouraged raiders to branch out further, to attempt riskier and riskier maneuvers. You never felt scared, why should stuff like that scare you after everything you had been through with Joel and Ellie? But what did get to you was the fact that Joel’s patrols were getting longer as the warm June days arrived.

Ultimately, things weren’t much different. You and Ellie and Joel still had time together and time apart, but it drove you nearly insane when you had to get into bed without him, wake up without him. The bed in the house you shared wasn’t all that large, but without Joel in it you felt completely dwarfed. It was like the mattress was swallowing you whole without Joel to anchor you to his broad shoulders and wide chest.  

Today had consisted of next to nothing. Ellie had shouted at you while you were still half asleep, saying something along the lines of “Dina” and “movie night” and “back tomorrow, maybe!” You had offered a lazy “mmff” in response. And then you heard the door slam. You tried your best to spend the day doing something—anything—productive. Go for a walk, clean the kitchen, weed the garden. In the end, though, you had found yourself letting yet another day slip by completely wasted. Maybe not completely: You had found the copy of The Catcher in the Rye that you had picked up somewhere along your journey with Joel and Ellie.

You remembered how much you had loved the cover when you first read the book—you must’ve been 14 or 15, if even. The red carousel horse that looked so…messy and unhinged. That might’ve been what initially drew you to the book in the first place, not to judge a book by its cover or anything, but it just looked so promising. When you reread it, you found yourself comparing Holden Caulfield to one Joel Miller; the character’s intensity, his need to isolate himself in order to protect himself and everybody else, his crippling losses. It was all Joel. So maybe, in the back of your mind, you had really just started skimming through it today to remind yourself of the growth you had seen Joel go through in your time together. He was so closed off, so hesitant when you had first joined him and Ellie. Of course, the biggest difference between the real life and the literary was Joel’s ability to grow, to open up and remember how to feel; Holden never really got that sort of closure.

After hours and hours of reading and reminiscing, the sun had finally started to go down. You prepared yourself for another night alone in the house. You were happy Ellie had the ability to go out and spend her time with people she loved, but when Joel was out for so long, you couldn’t help but feel jealous. Jealous and lonely. But you were a big girl, and you could handle it. Even if you hated it. You changed out of your denim shorts and took off the tank top that was now fairly sweaty, opting to sleep naked. Might as well if nobody is going to see you, anyway. You curled up under the bedsheet, not bothering to sleep under the comforter, it was entirely too hot for that. You fell asleep far quicker than anticipated.

You woke with a start when you felt a hand wrap around your midriff, a voice in your ear drawling “g’night, darlin’.” Dazed, you turned yourself over to face the direction of the voice.

Joel was home.

Nothing could’ve snapped you out of your groggy state faster than the excitement of seeing him again after so long. Really, it hadn’t been long at all, but it was always such a relief having him back next to you. You clung to him, reacquainting yourself with his smell and the feel of him. Just as quickly, though, you pushed yourself up and off of him.

“You’re dirty.”

“Missed you too, sweetheart.” He pulled you back down to him, caging you in with his arms. “Don’t’cha like dirty, baby?” He laughed while you tried to wriggle yourself out of his hold.

“Like it when it’s how you’re acting, not when you’re literally caked in dirt.” You faked outrage, hitting his chest softly.

“C’mon, know you like seein’ me this way.”

And he was right, obviously. You loved seeing his hair pushed back with sweat, feeling his calloused hands against your bare back, tracing his collarbones and feeling the gravelly remnants of dirt.

“You had a good patrol, then?” You asked, finally letting yourself fall atop him, truly not caring about the dirt and sweat.

“It was alright. Uneventful. Fuckin’ hot out there, though.”

“Maybe it’s time to start wearing shorts, cowboy.”

“Yeah, that’s what everybody wants to see. My old man knees shinin’ out in the sun.”

You giggled. He traced his hands down your naked body, letting himself feel every dimple and curve.

“You got th’right idea. Nothin’ like comin’ in from the heat to see my baby stripped down for me. Should probably start doin’ the same whenever I can.” He squeezed your ass roughly, forcing a moan from your lips.

“C-can’t just walk around the commune naked, Joel. At least put some rips in your pants.”

“Mm, why walk around the commune in jeans when I could strip down with you at home, darlin’?” He delivered a smack to your ass, making you gasp. “Could just stay here all day ‘nd play with you. Make me sweat, keep me cool.” He quirked an eyebrow, tongue wetting his bottom lip before he brought your face to his with both his hands.

He tasted perfect, like the cigarettes he and Tommy swore they weren’t smoking, like whiskey, like mint, like black coffee. He licked at your bottom lip, encouraging you to open your mouth and let his tongue in. You felt him sweep the inside of your mouth, spit mingling and teeth clacking together as the kiss intensified. Without separating himself from you, Joel sat up, grabbing you by the hair and biting your bottom lip.

“Gonna be good f’me?” He still had you by the hair as he started to undo his belt. “Gonna show daddy what you missed so much while I was gone?”

“Wanna show you, please Joel.”

He pulled your hair tighter into his fist, and you let out a high pitched sound.

“You can do better than that, baby. Try again.”

“Please daddy, I wanna show you what I missed!”

“Atta girl.”

He pulled his belt from the loops on his jeans in one swift motion, undoing his button and fly just as fast. You could see the bulge that had grown in his jeans, and your mouth watered at the sight.

“You wanna be good?” Joel pulled your head back so that you were looking into his eyes. “You gotta work for what you want, baby. You know that.” He laughed when your hands flew to his crotch, shoving the denim down his hips and doing the same to the boxers he was wearing. You took his hard length in your hands; no matter how long you had been together, no matter how many times he let you have it, you were consistently amazed by how big he was. He was long, thick, heavy in your hands, and it just spurred you on further to show him how good you could be.

“Spit.” He still had a fist in your hair, and he held you above the tip of his cock. You did as you were told, letting your spit drip from his tip, down his shaft. He made you repeat the action once more before letting you move your hands.

“Good girl, jerkin’ daddy off so good.” He groaned when you dropped a hand to his balls, your other hand working his full length. His back arched slightly when you gave his balls a squeeze, moving your hand to focus on the head of his cock. He released you from his grip.

“Open your mouth, baby, give your daddy a show, huh?” You jumped at the chance, shuffling down his body and lowering your face between his hips. You kept one hand working up and down his shaft and took as much as you could in your mouth, flicking your tongue against his most sensitive spots.

“Fuck, good girl. Gonna make me cum if you keep going like that. Fuck!” You took his rambling as an opportunity to take as much of him as you could down your throat. Suddenly, his hand was back in your hair, pulling you off of him. A string of your saliva kept you connected to his cock, dripping from your puffy lips.

Joel brought your face back up to his, catching you in a heated kiss. You felt him bite your bottom lip, your own tongue tasting the inside of his mouth. He broke away for just long enough to flip you onto your back. He stood over you, pulling his jeans off completely and staring down at you hungrily.

“Y’out here sayin’ you don’t like dirty. You got such a mouth on you, baby, y’know it’s not good to go ‘round lyin’.” He pulled you towards him by your ankles, letting your legs fall over the edge of the bed before he kneeled in front of you and hiked them up on his shoulders. “See how I know you were lyin’?” He wasted no time showing you, pushing a thick finger into your cunt. “Drippin’ baby, fuckin’ soaked. S’all for daddy, isn’t it, sweetheart?” You moaned at the sudden intrusion. Just one of Joel’s fingers was enough to make you lose control completely. He twisted it inside you, pumping in and out slowly.

“Tell me it’s for daddy.”

“I—it’s all for, it’s all f—for daddy!” You gasped when you felt another one of his fingers exploring your slit, using your wet to force itself in beside his other finger.

“S’what I thought.” He curled his fingers, bringing his mouth down to your clit and sucking hard. You let out a scream of his name. He only sucked harder, letting the bundle of nerves go with a pop.

“Cum on my fingers, baby. C’mon now, give it to me.” You felt his fingers, still curled, start rubbing against the spongy spot inside of you. Your walls began to clench around his fingers, his mouth once again finding a pace on your clit. You came around his fingers with a jumbled mixture of gasps and screams, barely registering how he talked you through it.

“Good fuckin’ girl, that’s it. Yeah, show daddy what a good girl you are.” Joel placed another kiss on your clit, slowly slipping his fingers out of you. Though your mind was still foggy from the orgasm he had just given you, you whined at the sudden emptiness. When he stood above you again, you reached your arms up for him. He smiled down at you, bending over to kiss your forehead and then your lips.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, not done yet.” He straightened himself out a little, placing a knee on the bed next to you. You reached out to brush your fingers over his thigh. God, he was so muscular. You suppose, for all the walking he did, he should be, but still. Your legs were once again over his shoulders, now above you as he loomed over your naked figure. He took his cock in his hand, stroking himself as he lined himself up with your still dripping slit.

“Daddy’s gonna give you more baby, don’t worry.” You felt the tip of his cock nudge your clit before he lowered himself into your pussy. You both groaned at the contact; the squeeze of your cunt around his thick cock felt like heaven for each of you.

Once fully inside of you, Joel dropped the leg that had bed resting on the bed back to the ground, and pressed his body to yours, chest to chest. He pulled out till just his head was still resting in your pussy, before snapping his hips forward, shoving himself completely back into you, punching the air from your lungs.

“Missed this pussy,” he breathed out shakily, keeping a harsh pace, “missed feelin’ your tight fuckin’ cunt wrap around me like this.”

“Missed you so much, missed daddy’s cock—fuck!” He had your arms above your head now, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples and slowing his strokes slightly, continuing to fuck you deep. You rubbed your hips into his own, desperate for as much friction as you could get. He felt you bucking your hips, laughing at your desperation.

“Poor lil’ baby, such a needy fuckin’ pussy.”

“Dadd—y, need it!”

“Watch your mouth, darlin’, I’m givin’ it to you, ain’t I? Remember who you’re speakin’ to,” he sped up his thrusts, making your tits bounce while you lay back taking it. “Need some fuckin’ manners, baby.”

“I—fuck!—Please daddy, need to cu—m on your cock. Please!” You were begging, he had you exactly where he wanted you. Fucked out and messy, your hair sticking to your forehead and your slick dripping down his cock to your thighs. He loved when you got desperate. Fuck, he had missed you. He had been gone two, maybe three days, and all he could think about was coming home to you. One of his hands came down between your legs, fingers attaching to your clit. You arched your back, moaning, inviting him to touch you where you needed him most. He massaged your bud in tight, neat circles, his fingers moving faster than his thrusts.

He was fucking merciless.

“Can feel that pussy getting’ tighter on me. Y’gonna cum for me again, baby? Gonna cover daddy’s cock in your pretty fuckin’ juices?” His thrusts were beginning to speed up, and within a few more seconds of him fucking you senseless and talking you up (“Good girl, good girl gonna soak daddy’s big cock. That’s right, beautiful, make a fuckin’ mess on me.”) you were cumming hard around him. You grabbed at him, pulling him down onto you while he continued to push his cock deeper into you.

“That’s right, my fuckin’ girl. So good baby, tha’s it.” You scratched your nails down his back, legs shaking as you wrapped them around him. His thrusts became sloppy, nearing his high. You took it upon yourself to gain back a teeny bit of control.

“Cum, daddy, please. Want you to fill me up, want daddy’s cum.” He growled in your ear, fucking into you harder.

“Yeah? Want daddy to full this cunt with my fuckin’ load, baby?”

“Please, yes please,” you begged, still trembling from your own high.

“Gonna give it to you, sweetheart, gonna—shit, gonna fill you up so nice and deep—” He cut himself off with a deep thrust and a loud groan. You felt the warm spurts of his cum deep inside you, moaning at the sensation. He moaned, dropping himself down onto you. You stayed like that for as long as you could; his cock softening inside you, his full body weight pressing you into the springs of the old mattress, your breathing heavy. It was perfect.

“I missed you so much,” Joel panted out, still catching his breath. “M’sorry for comin’ home dirty. ‘Nd late.” He pushed himself up off of you, now mostly-soft cock sliding out of you, turning to lie on his back. You crawled up to him, lying on your side as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. You could feel his cum and yours dripping down the curve of your thigh and onto the mattress.

“You know I don’t mind. I know you’re out there keeping us all safe. You’re good at it.” You kissed his jawline. “Plus, means I get to welcome you back like this.” He smiled, letting you continue trailing kisses wherever you could reach.

“Just hate leavin’ you.”

“I know you’ll always come back home to me.”

He looked down at you, still smiling. You’ll never get used to seeing Joel Miller smile, but you’ll always love how he looked doing it. He kissed your forehead, pushing the hair out of your face before taking your chin in his hand and leaning you up to kiss him.

“I’ll always come back.”

[ilovebubblegum]

I Don’t Deserve You {Part 2} (Joel Miller x Reader)

Pairing: post-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, protective joel, age gap (reader is in her 20s and Joel is in his 50s), stalking, sexual assault attempt (lmk if i missed any)

Summary: You were popular in Jackson but you have been single your whole life. Despite many men flirting with you, you have never found your ideal type. Until one day, you saw Joel and you fell in love at first sight.  But he felt insecure.

Words count: 2.9k 

A/N: This is part 2 for I Don’t Deserve You Part 1. Thank you to everyone who read my fanfic! 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

It was a usual Monday after the night Joel saved you from Josh. You woke up early and got ready to work and meet your students. 

“Good morning, kids! How was your weekend?” You asked the students with a soft tone.

“I watched a movie with my dad last night!” A girl shouted.

“It was my birthday yesterday!” Another girl shouted.

They were active and you were always happy to listen to their stories. Their stories were always interesting to you. You loved how children were so pure and innocent. 

“Oh really? Well, happy birthday to you! Why don’t we all sing happy birthday to Samantha?” 

You invited the other students to sing the Happy Birthday song for Samantha. Each of the students followed your clap and sang the Happy Birthday song together. The day went and it was already time for the class to be dismissed. 

“Okay everyone! Class is dismissed! Don’t forget to do your homework!”

Everyone was packing their bags hurriedly and you glanced at the door. The door had a rectangle transparent glass and you saw Joel. When he caught your eye, he quickly hid. You found him so cute and felt butterflies in your stomach. It felt like you were in your teenage years all over again. You shook your head and smiled. The kids were starting to leave one by one and you began to pack your stuff on the table. 

“I saw you there Joel.” You teased Joel who was still hiding.

“Uhm.. Sorry.” He slowly walked inside the class and cleared his throat.

“You caught me.” He smiled shyly and put his hand on the nape of his neck.

“Are you stalking me now?” You joked.

“Absolutely not. I was just around and thought I’d stop by to see how you’re teaching the kids. Hope you didn’t teach them curse words.” He joked remembering his last joke at the bar that was cut off by Josh’s appearance.

“Of course not.” You scoffed and slightly hit his chest. 

“Are you heading home now?” Joel put his hands on his waist.

“Yes, all the kids have gone home so I should go home now.”

“I’ll walk you home.” Joel gestured a movement from his hands as if he was asking you to follow him.

“Sure. Thank you.” You grabbed your purse and jacket.

Joel wasn’t actually around the area. He was not patrolling that day and couldn’t keep thinking about last night. He was worried that Josh might come to you and bother you again. After thinking about it for a few hours, he decided to visit you at school and walk you home. He thought that it was the least thing he could do to protect you. Without realizing it, he was starting to have feelings towards you. 

“Do you want to come in and have dinner with me tonight? I can cook something for us.” You hoped Joel would say yes before you got in your house.

“Sure. Ellie is making friends now so she often stays out late.” 

“Great. Come in.” You welcomed Joel.

You hung your jacket and Joel did the same. 

“Please make yourself at home while I cook dinner.” You smiled at Joel.

Joel nodded and sat on the sofa in your living room. You walked to your kitchen, opened your fridge and took out some ingredients. 

“Can I help you with somethin’?” Joel suddenly stood up and walked towards you.

“No, no. I’m good. Let me serve you dinner tonight.” Joel was your guest so you wanted to serve him.

“Okay.” Joel walked away and started to look around your house.

“You have a lot of books.” Joel stopped at your bookshelf.

“Oh, yes. I love to read. I’m a teacher.” You laughed.

“Right.” Joel chuckled.

After a few moments of banter while you were preparing dinner, you were finally done.

“Dinner’s ready.” You called for Joel.

He looked back from the sofa and hurried his way to the dining table.

“Smells good.” He sniffed.

You both started eating. You were nervous because you were scared Joel might not like your cooking. And your legs were shaking under the table.

“Hmm.. It’s delicious. Thank you.” Joel praised your food.

“Phew.. I was scared you didn’t like it.” You sighed.

“Are you kidding? This is the best meal I’ve ever had in the past 20 years.” He chuckled as he shoved another spoonful of your cooking.

“Thank you, Joel. You’re really sweet.” You were touched hearing his words.

The two of you had conversations as you finished your dinner. 

“Let me wash the dishes. You cooked so I will wash the dishes.” Joel offered.

“Sure.” You gave your dishes to Joel.

You watched him from behind and got lost in your fantasy. You were imagining a life where you and Joel lived under the same roof as family. And you were the wife making dinner for your husband when he got off from work. He looked dashing from behind and his shoulder was broad. You imagined how it would feel kissing him. But you didn’t want to rush so you had to hold yourself. You hit your head and got back to reality. 

“Done.” Joel wiped his hands with a towel.

“Thank you, Joel. For washing the dishes.” 

“It’s nothin’. You cooked for me so it’s fair if I wash the dishes.” He shook his head.

You wondered how a man like him treated you so nice. You kept wondering why he didn’t come into your life sooner. Then you remembered why. You were half his age. But you didn’t care. As long as he made you happy, you didn’t care about anything.

You and Joel spent a few hours hanging out at your house then it was time for him to go home.

“I should probably head home.” Joel looked at you.

“Yeah, sure. Thank you for walking me home today.”

“Anytime. Thank you for the meal. It was delicious.” Joel thanked you.

You chuckled as you walked him to your door and grabbed his jacket.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Joel raised his eyebrows.

“Sure. See you tomorrow.” You waved your hand goodbye to Joel.

The next day, Joel came and picked you up from work. He walked you home and had dinner with you for the second day, third day, fourth day, and it went on and on. Except when it was his turn to go on patrol, he couldn’t walk you home. But he would always tell you in advance if he couldn’t walk you home. 

Joel and you often hung out in the city as well. Since you got close with Joel, Josh had never shown up. He just stared at you from afar but he had never approached you. You even had less guys flirting with you. As time went by, people were starting to recognize your relationship with him. People were making rumors and talking about you and Joel. They were talking about how far your age gap was and how Joel didn’t deserve you. He was old and ruthless but you were young and kind. You didn’t care what anyone said. Joel had never hurt you, he was always respectful, he was definitely not like what other people said. As a matter of fact, Joel had never been kind to anyone but you. 

Your feelings towards Joel have grown deeper and deeper. On the other side, you had no idea how Joel felt towards you. Did he like you or did he just see you as a kid who needed protection? But you didn’t want this to end so you kept your feelings hidden until it was 2 months since you and Joel spent time together. You couldn’t hold your feelings hidden any longer.

It was another usual dinner with Joel. You watched him as he was walking outside your front porch. 

“Joel.” You stopped him before he walked his way home.

“Huh?” He raised his eyebrows and looked back.

“Can I ask you something?” You wiped your sweaty hands to your jeans.

“Sure. What is it?” He walked his way back to your porch where you were standing, resting his hands on the handrail.

“What are we, Joel? I mean - I - I like you, Joel.” You confessed your feelings to Joel and stepped closer to him.

Instead of telling you the way he felt about you, he took a step back. 

“No.” His voice was really low, he shook his head and looked down.

Your eyes were getting blurry as tears welled up in your eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” Joel quickly walked away from you.

“Joel.. Please..” You tried to stop him but you thought it was better to stay.

You were heartbroken. You went to your bedroom, covered your face with your pillow and cried all night.

On his way home, Joel was also heartbroken. He couldn’t see you cry like that, especially because of him. He regretted leaving you hanging like that. He wished he could hug you and comfort you. But he knew he shouldn’t. He had heard the rumors and he agreed to what people were saying. He regretted treating you nice if it would end up breaking your heart. He shouldn’t give you hope in the first place. Since then, Joel started avoiding you. He didn’t walk you home and didn’t have dinner with you. You and Joel ended just like that.

You hadn’t seen Joel since. Your days went so slow. Days felt weeks, weeks felt months, months felt years. It has been a month and you hated this feeling. You wanted closure so you decided to find Joel. You walked to his house and knocked on his door.

“Hi!” It was Ellie.

“Uhm.. Hi! Is Joel home?” You asked Ellie.

“Yeah! Joel! Someone’s here looking for you!” Ellie shouted and called Joel.

Joel made his way down stairs and his eyes widened when he saw you at his front door.

“We need to talk, please.” You begged Joel.

“Okay.” Joel gestured to Ellie to go, he closed the door and invited you to sit on the patio chairs at his front porch.

You sat with him but he didn’t say anything. So you started the conversation.

“Did I do something wrong, Joel?” You tried to find what was wrong to fix your relationship with him.

“No.” He replied coldly.

“It’s okay. Just tell me, Joel. Let me fix us.” You begged him.

“It’s not you. It’s me.” Joel wanted the best for you.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. What do you mean?” You were confused.

“I know you heard about the rumors. They were right. I don’t deserve you. I’m old. I’ve done bad things. I’ve killed people. And you’re young, beautiful…inside out, kind, perfect and everythin’. You deserve someone way better than me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started anythin’ with you. I realized I was crossin’ the line, that's why it’s better that I stopped before I hurt you more.” Joel put his elbow on his knees as he explained to you.

“That’s not right. I don’t care what people say, Joel. You treated me so nice. You’ve never hurt me. You protect me, Joel.” You shook your head in denial.

“Don’t you get it? I don’t deserve you.” Joel started to raise his voice.

“No, Joel. Please. Give me a chance. I can’t live without you. Please. Give us a chance.” You cried as you begged him.

Joel wanted to cry but he held it. He didn’t want to look weak. Instead he stood up and asked you to leave. 

“I promise I won’t see you again.” Joel’s words made your heart even wretched.

“Joel, please..don’t..Can you at least give me a hug as a goodbye? Please?” You grabbed his wrist.

Joel wanted to hug you. He really did. But it would just make him change his mind. If he hugged you, he might not be able to let you go. So he let go of your hand and walked inside his house. You cried so loud and kneeled in front of his door. Hoping for Joel to come out and change his mind, but a few hours went by and he didn’t appear. You were getting hopeless so you decided to go home. You cried on your walk and you didn’t realize someone was following you. You grabbed your keys and went inside your house. Someone was holding your door before you closed it. 

“Joel?” You hoped Joel was following you home.

“Nuh-uh baby. It’s me. Josh.” Josh smirked.

You gasped and started to shake. 

“Wh-what are you do-doing?” Josh could hear you were scared.

“I told you that old man is no good, baby. You should have been with me in the first place. I wouldn’t make you cry. I’m way better than him. That old man knows it. He really doesn’t deserve you. But I deserve you.” It turned out that Josh had been stalking you and he was eavesdropping your conversation with Joel.

“No. Josh. Please get out of my house.” You tried to act like you were not scared but he could see you were shaking.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. You’re mine now.” Josh claimed you as his because he knew Joel wouldn’t be there to protect you from him anymore.

“No, please go.” You walked backwards as he slowly walked towards you.

On the other side, Joel kept thinking about what he had said to you. He knew it was for the best but somehow he felt something weird in his heart. He guessed maybe he should have hugged you goodbye. He didn’t hear your cries anymore so he decided to walk to your house. He saw your door was left open and he heard a loud thud and your scream. Joel’s heart was beating faster as he rushed inside your house.

“Stay still!” Josh was on top of you, holding your hands, trying to take off your pants.

“Josh, stop it!” You tried to push Josh away but he was too heavy.

Joel’s eyes widened as he was shocked to see what was happening. He ran towards you, grabbed Josh from behind and threw him aside. Josh was hurting laying on the floor. Joel’s eyes locked on Josh and punched him over and over again. Josh’s face was full of blood and he was begging for Joel to stop. 

“Don’t you ever touch her again! You lay a hand on her again, I’ll break your arm!” Joel lifted Josh by his collar and yelled at his face.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Josh begged Joel for his life.

“Now get the fuck out of this house and never show your face again!” Joel pointed his finger towards the door as he raised his voice again.

Joel closed the door after Josh crawled his way out of your house. You were in shock, crying, hyperventilating, shaking, and holding your ripped shirt to cover yourself. You had never seen Joel like this before. He was scary when he was angry just like what other people in the town talked about.  

“Hey, are you okay?” Joel’s voice was different from seconds ago.

He sounded very soft. He took off his jacket and put it on you. 

“I got you, babygirl. I got you.” He looked at you with worried eyes. (TLOU ep 8 reference 😘)

He wiped your tears with his thumb and hugged you. His hands rubbed your back in circles until your breathing was normal again. 

“Can you stand?” He asked you.

You nodded and guided him to your bedroom. He kept holding your arm, holding your weight as you walked. You opened your closet to get new clothes and changed into a new one. Joel faced the wall as you changed your clothes. He was always respectful to you. Not like the other guys you had met.

“Here.” You gave Joel his jacket back.

“Do you want me to stay?” He thought he would stay for the night to make sure you were safe.

“Will you?” You asked Joel with your puppy eyes as you sat on the bed.

“Of course, darlin’. I don’t want Josh to come here again and hurt you.” Joel walked to your bedroom door.

“Where are you going? I thought you’re staying.” You were confused.

“I am. I’m sleepin’ on the couch.” 

You chuckled. Everytime he did or said something, you fell in love with him more.

“Joel, stay here.” You pat the empty space beside you on your bed.

“No. I shouldn’t.” He still kept his chivalry.

“Joel, please. I don’t think I can sleep if you’re not next to me. I feel safe when I’m with you. Please.” You begged Joel.

“Okay.” Joel shyly moved his way to your bed and laid beside you.

You moved closer to him, put your head on his chest, and rested your hands on his stomach. You could hear his heart beating faster and his body was stiff because of your movements. Joel took a deep breath and put his arms around you. He rubbed your back in circles.

“I’m sorry. I know I don’t deserve you. But can I get that chance for our relationship? Give me a chance to be better for you?” He rested his chin on your head.

“You should stop being insecure, Joel. You’re the best man I’ve ever met. All the guys who flirted with me.. They weren't like you. I know for a fact they only want to get in my pants. But you’re different. Am I right?” You caressed his chest.

“No. You’re wrong.” You were shocked by his joke and raised your head to face him.

“I’m joking. Relax.” He laughed.

“Don’t ever do that again.” You put your head back to his chest and hit his chest.

“Oh! You’re bleeding! We need to get your fist cleaned up!” You took his hands worriedly.

“Don’t worry, darlin’. I’ve been worse.” Joel chuckled and kissed your forehead.

“Okay, then.” You kissed his bleeding fist that saved you from Josh. 

The two of you spent the night cuddling, talking and getting to know each other. Joel told you about his past, Sarah, and Ellie as you drift into your sleep. 

To be continued...

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

[nariism]

i loved you on a moonlit summer night

pair. diluc ragnvindr x gn!reader

content: tooth-rotting fluff, love at first sight, allusions to reincarnation but no actual instances of reincarnation

synopsis. diluc knows that he doesn't belong in mondstadt anymore. he doesn't belong anywhere— no place to truly call home and nothing in this world but vengeance in his heart. but on a wintery day on dragonspine, he finds his salvation: a box of cecelias, a fire seelie, and the owner of the best flower shop in the city.

wc. 8.4k

a/n: thank you to my beautiful @hyomagiri for beta reading, helping edit and hyping this fic up to the max. i ended up feeling confident enough to post this because of her, three cheers for ellie i love you to the moon and back <3

WINTER

It wasn’t his fault. How was he supposed to know that buried beneath blankets of snow and sheets of ice, there would be Cecelias?

Fire seelies are usually reliable with a bounty of treasure waiting at the end of their path. He isn't sure why it led him here, to some inconspicuous pile of snow which he hastily melted without realizing there was something precious hidden within.

The mistake doesn’t register with Diluc until the sweet scent of flowers and ash and burning wood wafts under his nose. He blinks in confusion at the pile, perfectly burnt to a crisp and resting at the tip of his boots.

Boxed up flowers? What are they doing out in the middle of the mountain?

He remembers then, a story someone once told him— he can't put a name to the voice but it echoes in the hollow chambers of his heart:

"Did you know that you can preserve the freshness of flowers? All you have to do is box them up nice and tight and store them in the snow."

It's an interesting tidbit of information. He can't for the life of him remember where he heard it from, though.

Wind howls in his ears, powdery snow from over the horizon plowing down the mountainside and into his face. It doesn't deter him from examining the scene. The fire seelie floats just above his shoulder, quiet now as it looks at the pile.

He’s entirely distracted by the sight, unsure of what to make of the strange discovery, until he hears the crunch of snow behind him. With the Fatui lingering around the foot of the mountain, he expects to whip around and face an enemy. He even braces himself to be knocked off his feet by a wild boar.

Instead, his sudden movement frightens you and makes you stumble back until you fall flat onto the ground.

There’s a long pause of silence that stuffs the air, neither you nor him tearing your eyes away from each other. You freeze like a deer caught in headlights, so still that it looks like you've succumbed to the frozen climate of the mountain. He breathes a slow sigh of relief when a wavering exhale leaves your lips in the form of a puff of cloudy air.

The heart resting in his chest stirs. An ancient dull ache, thrumming in the depths of his body as he looks at you in surprise.

Again, there's a voice in his ear. This time, he recognizes it as his father:

"Your mother? I fell in love at first sight."

Growing up, he never quite understood that string of words. First sight? How could someone fall in love at first sight?

Diluc Ragnvindr is a million things, but romantic is not one of them. Love at first sight is a silly fairytale that parents tell their children to tuck them into bed. It's something that could never exist in such a cruel world, plagued by monsters and evil.

It's easy for him to close his heart off to the idea of something as ridiculous as love at first sight, despite the way his eyes haven't left yours. And he's painfully aware of the way you're looking at him too, but he does his best to ignore your gawking.

Maybe he's catching a cold. He doesn't feel well all of the sudden.

Your gaze drifts to the pile of ash just behind him and you sigh, putting your head into your hands wet from snow.

"You found my seelie," you murmur, sounding very unimpressed. He blinks at you until you continue, "Those were important, you know. They were for a very special occasion."

Diluc takes in your form, clothes thin and unfit for the snowy conditions of Dragonspine. Even without the chilly altitude of the mountain, this winter in general was particularly bitter. He almost wants to scold you for dressing so thoughtlessly, even though he doesn't know your name.

"My apologies. I will reimburse you whatever the cost, and more."

"It's... not about that," you tell him from your place on the ground, still not looking at him. You seem stressed. His heart squeezes terribly.

"Not about what?"

"Mora."

He falls silent, so quiet that you finally peer up at him wondering whether or not he's even still standing there. And he is, regarding you with a thoughtful expression. His presence is so unnoticeable despite being right in front of you that it makes your skin crawl.

"How can I make it up to you?" He asks, extending his hand for you to take. Your clothes are soaked through already, cold and frozen from the subzero temperature. It doesn't help soothe his worries that he can feel a storm coming. He should get you out of here as soon as possible.

You huff, allowing him to drag you to your feet. It's then that you realize how warm he is, almost hot to the touch. The faint glimmer of a Vision dangles on his hip. Your eyes flicker back to his and he nearly jolts out of his skin.

"Don't worry about it. It's alright," you tell him though you sound disingenuous about it. You're obviously distracted, probably wondering how to explain to your client that their expensive flowers ended up as a pile of ash.

"It was my mistake. Please, let me know if there's anything at all I can do," he replies earnestly.

"Really, it's fine," you sound slightly exasperated by his stubbornness. If it were anyone ordinary, they would have taken your mercy and left you to freeze on the mountain without a second thought.

Diluc Ragnvindr is no ordinary man.

It takes him a moment to realize his hand is still gripping yours rather tightly. He recoils with an awkward cough.

“What are you doing out here in the mountains?” He asks. It dawns on him then what a stupid question it is, since you’ve obviously come to collect your frozen flowers. You tell him anyways:

"I buried some flowers further up the mountain a few days ago," you sigh, "not sure if I can find them anymore, though. That's why I've been following this little one around."

You scratch under the seelie's chin. Well, where you would imagine its chin to be, at least. It seems thrilled by the affection.

"It's going to storm soon. You should head back down the mountain and try again later."

"It's urgent," you insist, ready to brush past him and continue the trek up.

He stops you with your wrist in his hand. "Then please, let me accompany you to the top of the mountain. It isn't safe with the Fatui lingering around. It's the least I could do."

You eye him hesitantly, but then your shoulders relax and you sigh again. "Okay, okay. We should hurry and get out of here, then."

He wordlessly follows you up the trail, watching your movements carefully. While you don't seem suspicious, he can never be too sure when it comes to the Fatui. Save for the rustling of pine trees and the soft crunch of snow beneath your boots, empty silence fills the air.

It drives him crazy. So crazy that he decides to speak.

"What's your name?"

The name that leaves your lips makes him smile. He can only think that it really does suit you. 

"My name is–"

"Diluc. Diluc Ragnvindr, right?"

Heat creeps up to his cheeks. Of course you know who he is. He's the most famous person in all of Mondstadt, for Archon's sake.

"I've seen you around the city," you quickly explain, awkwardly fumbling over your words. "And at festivals and such."

Before he can dwell too much on it, your seelie chirps— once, twice, three times as it dives into the snow and slowly melts it away. You suddenly halt in your steps, crouching down to sift through the remainder. An exhale of relief leaves you when you dig out a box, intact and frozen to the touch.

He looks on in curiosity. Your hand brushes the snow off the top of the box and you open it, revealing another couple dozen Cecelias.

"Thank goodness..." and your seelie seems to agree, because it dances around your head with a pleased noise.

You're too busy admiring the flowers to realize the snow has kicked up. He's too busy admiring you to notice, either. It isn't until the seelie dips in front of your face with a panicked garble that you finally tear your eyes away from your box of flowers.

"It started to snow..."

Diluc's gaze drifts from you to the darkening sky. It's much too late to make your way down the mountain. In his time in Snezhnaya he learned one very important rule of surviving the cold: you can't outrun snow.

Your seelie leads you to a small cave in a section of rock, covered in starsilver and crystalflies. There isn't any kindling to make a fire, and he isn't willing to brave this type of storm just for some wood.

Diluc shrugs his coat off his shoulders and wraps it around your shoulders in a single motion. Heat envelops you, warmer than the fire seelie that guided you through the mountains. It’s a warmth that fills you from the pit of your stomach all the way to the tips of your fingers.

The seelie floats between you, trying to do its best to keep the both of you in its light.

It's comfortable and quiet for a while— not a peep from either of you as you listen to the howling of wind and snow outside. 

How did Diluc ever end up here?

Bad luck, karma, anything that would explain why he ended up snowed in atop Dragonspine with you— anything at all other than it was in the stars' design that he be with you right here and now. Fate mocks him.

Even worse, there's a voice in his head telling him that this is exactly where he needs to be right now. He's getting a migraine.

Diluc watches you sift through the remaining ashes of the burnt box, trying to see if there's anything you can salvage. Unfortunately, Diluc's Pyro vision was only good for combat and keeping you warm at this moment.

"I'm... really sorry," he says again, looking away sheepishly. He can't bear to look at the disappointment furrowing in your brows.

The sound of a sigh echoes in the cave, and he finally manages to look at you. To his surprise, you're only staring back at him with soft eyes: no contempt, no anger, no disappointment. It makes his heart sink, not only with guilt, but also because there's just something so sweet about you that it makes him want to hold you closer.

"It's okay. At least a majority of them survived. It'll be plenty."

"If you don't mind me asking, what were they for?"

"A bouquet for a wedding. The bride specifically asked for Cecelias, since it was the first bouquet he ever gifted her," there's a fondness on your face that makes him snort. You look at him funny. "What? It's romantic."

"They're just flowers. What's so sentimental about that?"

"They're not just flowers," you frown, scooting a little closer into his side to soak up more of his heat. The fire seelie's light flickers against your face. "Cecelias only grow in extremely windy places. They're illustrious and elegant, even after growing in such harsh conditions. Isn't that just..." you smile at him, slow and warm. "It's beautiful."

Diluc considers your explanation for a moment, tugging his coat around your shoulders tighter. "I suppose so."

"You suppose?" You laugh. "My my, I didn't know Diluc Ragnvindr was so down-to-earth when it comes to romance."

Your laugh is doing terrible things to him. There's something about it that reminds him of the days he spent wandering the Winery as a boy with Kaeya in tow. The nights he would spend catching crystalflies. Times long since passed. He suddenly aches to be back among the grapevines.

"I don't indulge in that sort of thing."

He never could, so long as there was something ugly and bitter and tainted in his heart.

"You've never fallen in love?"

"Not once."

Love like that doesn't exist. Not in a world like this.

He repeats what he believed was true, chants the mantra in his head until he's dizzy as if trying to convince himself that he isn't already lost in you. The warm orange glow of the seelie dances in your eyes, lights up your smile in a way that makes his stomach turn.

I fell in love at first sight. They were words that he couldn't understand until today.

"Is that so?" You muse, slotting your head in the space between his jaw and shoulder. He doesn’t move away. "You're an unusual man, Diluc."

"Maybe I am."

But he knows that the moment he met you, everything was about to change. You don't even dignify him with a glance as you say it:

"Let's fall in love, then."

The demand is simple and he's absolutely positive you're joking. Something in his soul tugs anyway. He swears one thing at that moment: someway, somehow, he'll make it all up to you.

You are, after all, the first person to remind him of home in a long time. Every aspect of you is so comforting and familiar, even if he can't quite place his finger on it yet.

You reach out to pet your seelie, even though you know your hand will phase through it. "You sure did lead me to some strange treasure, hm?"

It trills happily with a little twirl.

Diluc meets you in winter, in the valley between the peaks of Dragonspine. He meets you, and it smells of burnt wood and ash and Cecelias. It's so cold that you can't feel your fingers but you're smiling in the afterglow of a seelie nonetheless, and so is he.

SPRING

He learns that you own the little flower shop at the edge of Mondstadt, just within the front gates of the city.

You're teaching a young girl, Flora, how to nurture them. And he finds it a little endearing, the way you're so gentle not only with Flora but with the flowers you're showing her: daisies and tulips and Windwheel Asters, all of which are in season right now.

Diluc recognizes you when you open back up for spring, surrounded by boxes stuffed with fresh bouquets. You seem to be in a rush getting organized, holding a stack of boxes instead of taking them one by one and clumsily scattering them around so you can go through them.

He stops you by stepping in front of you, two hands on either side of the stack to steady them as you stumble to a halt.

"Diluc?" You peer from around the boxes. He can only see your curious eyes from this angle. He laughs.

"Sorry to interrupt you when you're so busy. Do you need help?"

"Well–" you do a little hop to straighten up the boxes in your arms, "–it would be nice to have an extra set of hands getting everything ready for the Windblume Festival." You contemplate his offer for a brief moment, then ultimately decide against it. "But I would hate to steal you away from your other responsibilities. You're helping with the festival too, right?"

"I owe you one. Think of this as a favour from a friend," he refutes stubbornly.

"I'm sure many would be missing the help of Diluc Ragnvindr," you tease, shifting around so that your body tilts toward him.

It's then that he can finally look at you fully, with a soft orange apron tied around your waist and Windwheel Asters in your hair to match.

One day, you would go on and explain to him that it was sort of like advertising, and that showing off how nice the blooms look as an accessory brought in a lot of business. Right now all it does is render him breathless.

"They can afford to miss me.” He can't help the smile that creeps its way onto his face at the sight of you— he feels silly about it too, like some lovesick little boy.

You hand off the boxes into Diluc's arms. "Can they? I heard you were supplying all of the wine for the festival. That's a tall order," you giggle, bending down to grab another two boxes of flowers.

"It's... manageable," he answers, making a mental note to himself to buy Adelinde dinner some time as a thank you. "What about you? What are all these boxes for?"

"We're holding a flower gifting service in the plaza, on the night of the big party." He looks at you curiously as you continue, "You can send someone you care for a flower or two, or you can send them anonymously if you just wanted to make someone's day!"

"Sounds..."

You smile knowingly. "Romantic?"

Diluc places the boxes down on the ground and pries the lids off, revealing more and more ready-to-bloom flowers. "Yeah. Romantic," he sighs.

"These will all be in full bloom in time for the festival.” You lean down behind him where he's crouched down, until your chin is nearly resting on his shoulder. He's sure his breath hitches so loud that you can hear it.

The following weeks entail complete mayhem. With the end of spring rapidly approaching, excitement buzzes throughout the city. Notably, he overhears many talking about your business and the new flower gifting service.

The Windblume Festival is a special time for Diluc. His father used to take him and Kaeya as children, back when the world was a little happier. On the night of the festival, he stands at the booth contemplating. Unlike a majority of the citizens of Mondstadt, he has not a clue who to give a flower to. Flora frowns.

"Um, mister, are you ever going to write a name down?"

The quill halts just above the piece of paper. "I don't have to sign my name, do I?"

"You can send it as a secret."

Diluc looks up from where he's bent over, observing you from a few feet away. You're conversing with some ladies who are interested in your bouquets. It was a good business idea to do something like this.

He only meant to support your idea as a friend. Now he's conflicted on whether or not he should dare to write your name.

You look absolutely radiant tonight with magical crystal chunks strewn about your hair and a crown of flowers circling your head. He isn't sure he's ever seen someone so beautiful.

He finally decides. When you turn back around to give him your attention, he's gone.

He's sure that will be the end of it, and that after tonight your brief and strange relationship with him will come to an end. But then you come bounding up to him just as he's about to head out.

"Look! A flower!" You exclaim, shoving it into his face. He's pleased that you like the one he picked out for you.

"Yes, I see that. It's nice."

"Nice? Nice?! It's adorable! I've never gotten one before."

He looks at you funny. "Never?"

"Nope," you laugh sheepishly. "I don't really get out much. Too busy running the shop."

He takes the flower from your hands and tucks it just behind your ear, adding it amongst the crown of Asters surrounding you like a halo.

"It suits you.”

"Does it?" You ask him quietly.

His heart beats furiously. How could he ever steel himself when you have such a big smile on your face, adorned with flowers and gemstones?

"Will you dance with me?" The question leaves him before he can stop it. You look at him in wonder, with his fingers brushing the hair from your face. Whatever evil overtakes him in that moment, he'll have to thank later, because without hesitation you're dragging him into the middle of the plaza with glee.

You come to learn that he isn't exactly what you'd call an elegant dancer. He only knows movements that he learned at banquets held by his family— basic steps born from obligation. 

"I thought you'd be better at this," you tease, allowing him to pull you along by the waist.

"I don't dance," he huffs. "I haven't in a long time."

"We should dance together more, then."

Diluc sighs, but there's a tiny smile spreading across his face. "I guess we should."

"This flower... do you know what it represents?" You gesture to the bloom tucked behind your ear. He shakes his head and you continue, "It means everlasting love."

He laughs at the irony.

"I see. How... fetching."

"I wonder who it was," you smile to yourself. He thinks you look breathtaking.

Diluc's lips curl at your joy. He twirls you under his arm once, twice, then pulls you back into his body as he considers your words.

"Yes, I wonder who," he mutters with an amused expression that you just barely miss. And he knows exactly who, but he's not sure if he could handle seeing you melt into a lovestruck puddle at his admission.

Diluc dances with you in spring, under the warm glow of lanterns and the taste of grape juice staining his tongue. He dances with you, and it smells of the Windwheel Asters that crown your head and mint jelly on your breath.

He tugs you a little closer, just because.

SUMMER

If you were to ask Diluc how he felt about these big "charity" events, he would scoff in your face and lecture you about how they were nothing more than money traps set up by the Knights of Favonius.

He would say it purely out of spite, of course, mostly because he knows Jean is too kindhearted to allow for such shady business. Openly, at least.

His distaste for the Knights and all they stand for are not hidden deep in his heart. He sneers when there's a casualty— mocks their inefficiency at any given opportunity.

You never knew him to be such a bitter man when it came to the Knights. Diluc was good at keeping up his polite and indifferent charade to their practices.

It wasn't until the beginning of summer when you realized his loathing. It was their own incompetence that led a horde of slimes directly into the city, nearly smashing your little shop to bits.

You've never seen him so furious.

Outwardly, he was simply curt with them. He had only a few choice words lined up when they apologized with their heads hung low, watching them with his arms crossed over his chest.

Inwardly, you could see the anger swimming in his eyes.

That was three weeks ago. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth to think that just three weeks ago, they were leading danger straight into your shop and now here they are, asking you to donate to their cause.

"You're sulking," you tell him from across the table. He immediately sits up straight, jaw relaxing.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You know," you smile at him, moving one of your pawns forward, "I think the Knights are happy you're here. Relieved, at the very least, that you don't seem mad at them anymore."

He only frowns whilst knocking your pawn over with a bishop. "I wasn't mad at them."

"You were. Even I could tell."

"They almost got you hurt."

"Almost," you remind him with a small huff. "They were just slimes! No harm no foul."

You make a fatal move, but he doesn't even gloat because he's too busy cursing out the Knights in his head.

"I just find it in poor taste that they would ask for your hard-earned Mora after endangering you like that." He shrugs you off nonchalantly, as if you can't see the fire blazing in his eyes at the mere thought of it. 

You blink at the chessboard as he checkmates you, slumping back in your seat with a tiny pout. "Once again, you've bested me."

"It seems I have," he says, lips finally twitching up into a small smile.

"Don't you ever get tired of beating me at this game? I sure do."

"That's a shame. Same time tomorrow?"

He watches with a laugh as you grumble in irritation. You can't help but notice how quiet it is, even over the chatter of the people in the plaza. There's something off about him today.

It's clear that he doesn't want to be here, volunteering his time to the Knights for a cause he has no faith in. It was a favour for Jean, he told you, to which you mused that he owed a lot of friends favours.

To be a noble in Mondstadt, and especially the wealthiest, Diluc is obligated to attend all sorts of gatherings he detests. You can see it written all over his face.

"Hey," you call out to him softly, leaning over the table. Your voice is a hush as you tell him: "Let's get out of here."

He glances around. "I'm expected to be here, you know?” He laughs once more, though he seems to be considering your offer. He decides to indulge you. "Where would you like to go?"

You think for a moment, brows furrowed. He watches the minute twitch of your lips, the creases of your smile; everything about you is so alive and beautiful.

Then, you point. You point high, with a breathless giggle. 

"There," you say, gesturing toward the giant statue of Barbatos, "let's go up there."

He almost flat out rejects you, wanting to scold you about how dangerous it would be and that, for someone without a vision, you sure do have the gall to even suggest it.

But then he sees the excitement twinkling in your eyes, which are already scrunched up from how big your smile is. How could he refuse?

Diluc ends up trailing behind you, inconspicuously hugging his coat close to his body. You don't realize why until you're standing at the feet of the statue.

You gasp at the bottle of wine tucked into his coat. "Did you steal that?"

"The Winery provided all of this. I would hardly consider it stealing," he chuckles.

You nudge him with your elbow, a grin on your face as you accept the bottle into your hands. "I didn't know you were so sly, Diluc."

"I used to do this all the time when I was a kid."

"Steal wine bottles?" You look at him with wide eyes and an impressed smile.

"The maids forbade me from drinking at the Winery's banquets. Try telling a thirteen year old boy not to do something, see what happens," he huffs in amusement.

"You don't even like wine," you remind him. Diluc only hums in response, grabbing it and stuffing it back into his coat as he takes his first leap up the stone.

"Consider it a gift.” He twists around so he can look down at you where you stand, watching him with a mixture of fascination and horror.

His hand extends to yours. For as many times in this life as he is willing to offer it, you would take it.

He helps haul you up to the very top, barely breaking a sweat as he watches you climb beside him. After all, he withstood countless adversaries in his time in Snezhnaya: climbed mountains as tall as the sky with nothing but his claymore. 

When you ask how he's so calm about this, he only tells you that he used to climb to the roof of the manor when he was a boy.

He had a lot of secrets kept caged up in his body, you realized many months ago. Diluc was never too vocal about his time before he returned to Mondstadt.

You do remember, however, that at the banquet they threw for him to celebrate his return home, he seemed cold and indifferent to the warm welcome. In fact, it was like his mind was entirely elsewhere. You can picture the day well— it was the largest order of flowers you'd ever received after all.

You're glad he's settled back into Mondstadt, at least. You just never thought you'd have a chance to actually meet him.

He watches as you nervously teeter over to the edge of the statue, peering down with a nervous gulp. You relax when his hands steady you, gently guiding you to sit down in a more safe position.

"I've never been so high up off the ground!" You cry out toward the city, feet dangling over the edge of the Archon's hands.

"It's nice, isn't it? Much different than the kind of heights you feel on Dragonspine."

You take in a long breath of fresh air, as if savouring the wind at this height. "It's pretty.” You finally conclude. There's a dreamy sigh on your lips that makes him laugh.

He uncorks the bottle he lugged up with him, passing it over to you. Instead of taking it, your head tilts back and he takes the opportunity to pour the wine past your lips himself.

Silence festers between you two as he pours the sweet alcohol into your mouth, all rational thought being carried away by the wind.

He isn't sure how long you stay that way: shoulders touching, hair blowing, and feet dangling in the air. For someone who wanted to climb the statue to see the city, you sure are being shameless in your staring directly at him.

You're looking at him in a way that makes him melt— eyes so laser focused and crinkling with your smile. You look at him like he's the only person in the world. Right now, he might really be that important. His heart swells in his chest.

"What is it?" Speak your mind. Let me hear all your crazy thoughts.

"You came all the way up here with me. You came up here. With me."

You emphasize your point by extending your arms out to your sides, feeling the breeze wash over you.

He knows what’s coming next. You love clichés. And he doesn't stop you, for some reason, when you open your mouth again just as he predicted.

"I think I'm falling for you."

"I would hope not. We're pretty high up in the air."

You swat his arm with a huff, face turning a little more serious. "I mean it!"

Diluc grows quiet, looking out toward the city. His home. The place he grew up, and the place he'll spend the rest of his days. The distant sound of people chattering, water flowing from the fountain, music playing: all sounds he's grown so familiar with and yet—

"I love you."

—he never thought it could be so beautiful until he climbed up here with you.

"You love a lot of things," he muses.

"Like what?"

He looks at you softly. "Like Cecelias. Mondstadt hashbrowns for breakfast. And you say you hate the cold but I know you love it up in Dragonspine— think it looks so pretty with all the snow."

You nod, mulling over his statement before asking: "What else?"

"I know you love that orange apron; Flora's mother sewed it for you herself, didn't she? And you love Anemo slimes, think they're the cutest thing in the world even though I've seen them explode in your face multiple times before."

You're listening to him intently, watching his lips as he lists off all the things he knows about you. And he's been going for so long that you have to wonder if you've really only known him for eight months.

"You love Starfell Lake and making wishes while you blow away Dandelion seeds. You love fire seelies and tea imported from Liyue and going to charity events like this even though you don't owe the Knights any of your time."

Another silence settles between you.

"So I'm a romantic. Even then, you still won't accept that I love you?" You ask him quietly.

He hesitates only for a moment, but you still catch it. "I won't."

"What is it with you and your cynicism about romance?"

"It's not like I don't believe love exists—" He’s looking at you right now, after all: living, breathing proof that Diluc could love something. "—I just... it's not for me."

"Not for you?" You repeat back to him in disbelief. "Love is beautiful, you know. You don't even want to give it a chance?"

You're looking at him earnestly, both hands pressed against the stone of the statue beneath you as you twist to stare him down.

"It's complicated," he murmurs, tearing his eyes away from yours. In his peripherals, he can still see you facing him. He doesn't dare look at you again for the sake of his own resolve.

Love was always a messy emotion for Diluc. To love was to trust completely, to be vulnerable and open. But he's been betrayed one too many times for his heart not to ache at the idea of falling in love so willingly.

It terrifies him— to have someone holding his heart in their hands with the chance that they could crush it into dust with the snap of their fingers.

Diluc was alone for many years in the northern region of Snezhnaya. He's good at being lonely. It's a part of the air he breathes, something engraved deep into his bones, terrible and grim and consuming his flesh until he's nothing.

He hadn't even realized he had grown accustomed to it. Not until he met you. Not until you stole his heart at first sight. Not until you made him understand all those times his father would speak of his mother once she was gone. It was always easier to be alone until he met you, and suddenly you came along and flipped the whole world onto its head.

Now Diluc can't be alone— he was losing the ability to sit in solitary silence without his thoughts screaming in his ears. He was constantly thinking about you. And it was always distracting things, like wondering when he would see your smile next, or when you would ever dance with him again.

Your head falls against his shoulder, hair tickling under his chin as you rest there. As if it were a remnant of eons past, his lips find the crown of your head reflexively. And you don't pull away by any means, allowing him to be affectionate the only way he can and accepting him as he comes.

The words don't need to be said anymore. He already knows. It's a story rewritten a million times over, buried somewhere deep in his soul.

He decides that maybe, just once in this life, it would be okay to take the risk. If it was you, he would be alright.

His arm comes around your waist protectively, pulling you closer into his body as if you'd disappear with the wind if he let go. He holds you there quietly, listening to your soft murmurs.

Diluc Ragnvindr deserves to be loved, is what you're telling him.

And despite the scars littering his body and the chains wrapped around his heart, he allows himself to believe it.

Diluc loves you in the summer, in the hands of the Anemo Archon. He loves you, and it smells of Dandelion Wine and the lingering scent of sweet flowers in your hair and all the things that make him dream of you.

For the first time since he returned to Mondstadt, he doesn't feel alone.

AUTUMN

It's the anniversary.

Diluc remembers the day too well— the smell of blood and flesh and how cold a corpse is. Sometimes it's all he can think about.

He cried when his father passed, as all boys would. Then, a fire replaced the hollow sadness in his heart, something fierce and dangerous and unhinged.

Fierce and dangerous and unhinged. Descriptors that he would consider second nature to him behind closed doors of the Tavern and hidden in the grapevines of the Winery. No one would ever know the real Diluc Ragnvindr, hellbent on vengeance since he was only a boy crying at his father's grave.

It wasn't until you came along that he felt something new blooming within him— something like beautiful flowers and a heartbeat slow and steady as waves on the shore, a yearning so powerful that it displaced the ugly bitterness in his heart.

Nowadays, Diluc felt like a confusing mixture of both light and darkness— treading the thin line that separated him from living in the moment with you, and seeking revenge for the past.

He doesn't realize the conflict within him has been bubbling into a raging fire, tearing him in half from the inside out, until today.

He talked to you about his father once, over a plate of sugar-frosted slime and Liyue imported jasmine tea. It was a day like any other, with you seated across from him having an afternoon snack.

My father liked sugar-frosted slime, he told you. It was the first time he'd ever let it be known that Crepus was on his mind, ever so present. A ghost haunting him. You didn't think much of it. Diluc seemed perfectly content living through his memories.

It was coincidence that brought you here on the exact day the world lost Crepus. Or, perhaps, the nagging voice in the back of your mind telling you to get out of bed and come here.

Your son is a wonderful man, is what you first whispered to the grave. And then you couldn't stop the words from pouring out of you, rambling on and on about how he raised a good boy, and how Diluc had taken your heart the moment you laid eyes on him.

He finds you sitting there in the rain with a sad excuse for an umbrella popped up above your head. His father's grave is adorned with flowers of all kinds— a respect that no one had ever paid him before.

You don't realize how much you move him with such a simple act. He had long since lost faith both in the Knights and the citizens that once looked up to his father so much; after all, it was only he and Kaeya who ever came around to visit.

It's not until he crumbles to his knees beside you that you even notice his tears, your smile fading as he looks at you in confusion.

You're not sure you've ever seen Diluc cry before.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, head tilting into your palm when you reach forward to wipe his tears with your thumb.

"Saying hello," you respond as if it's the obvious answer.

"You... huh?"

"It would be rude to fall in love with you without at least introducing myself first."

"You didn't have to do—" Diluc gestures to the grave, "—all this."

You smile. "I wanted to.” And the truth is as simple as that.

You were too good for this world. Something beautiful in a place where only ugliness lives. He almost hates how much hope you give him.

The world was always black and white for Diluc. Recently, he's been finding it hard to distinguish the two. 

There was right and there was wrong and there you were teetering between them, balancing hope and despair. It scared him to think of all the ways he could lose you, how he could one day end up bringing flowers to a grave with your name on it just as you did for his father.

What's the point of love if all it ends with is hurt?

He's sniffling, trying to chew on his bottom lip to distract himself from the ache in his chest. You notice his sudden quietness, turning to look at him.

"Hey.” Your voice is soft, as if he would shatter if you even spoke to him wrong right now. He might. "It's just me. It's okay."

"I don't cry. I hate crying," he admits through his tears.

He can't remember when he had cried last. Was it the day he came home? Or was it longer, like during those lonely nights spent hiding away in the mountains? The only vivid memory he has with tears staining his cheeks was the day his father died.

"You don't have to be ashamed of crying," you tell him, using your thumbs to wipe his lashes. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"I'm Diluc Ragnvindr. I'm not supposed to cry."

"You're Diluc Ragnvindr," you repeat back slowly, pulling his head toward you and cradling it against your shoulder. "You're human. What's wrong with that?"

Diluc doesn't feel human. He hasn't felt human in a long time. He's been something more like a ghost wandering around the places he used to love. Memories tainted by hatred and grief, it was as if he would never find beauty in this world again.

"I'm not," he breathes. "I'm not anything."

You pry him off of you. He blinks at you through his tears.

"Do you really believe that?"

He goes quiet, only staring at you as he soaks in your earnest eyes.

"I don't know what I am. I don't know what to do in this world anymore."

He's a mess of emotions— he almost wishes he were back in Snezhnaya where everything made sense. Where his entire existence was built up of seeking retribution. To a time when he knew where he belonged.

Diluc Ragnvindr only ever knew revenge. Only ever knew how to inflict pain. Only ever knew how to break kneecaps and hide in shadows and keep his lonely body warm with his Pyro vision.

He doesn't know love. He doesn't know how to do it without fighting the fire burning in his stomach when he grieves—

"You're just Diluc. Do you ever need to be anything more than that?"

—or maybe he hasn't given it the chance it deserves. The chance he deserves.

He realizes then, what love must be. What kept him up at night, the feeling raging in his chest:

There was no corner of Teyvat he could ever call home without you anymore. He belonged here, with you.

And accompanied with this realization is something that he hasn't felt in many years. Peace. A stillness in his body and the calm in his mind which was usually racing with contemplation— something he never thought he would feel again.

And it's because of you. Only you. It would only ever be because of your love.

"Would you accept me as I am?"

You smile. "I always have."

"You don't know who I am. The things I've done."

"Are they that bad?"

"Awful."

You hum in thought, thumb mindlessly brushing his cheek back and forth. "We have all the time in the world for you to explain," you add with another soft smile, "I believe you have your reasons. I believe in you."

He laughs, exhales shaky. "You're insane."

"Am I? But I think you're falling for me anyways."

So what if he is? He can't find a single reason wrong with it anymore.

The rain has started to let up, the world around him lighting up with warm sun. And you look so radiant like this, surrounded by the fog brought in by the storm and shining in sweet sunlight.

"Do you think we have your father’s approval?"

He doesn't have to answer that. Not when you're already leaning in closer to him.

The diminishing pitter-patter of rain against your shabby umbrella fills his ears. You're so close that he swears he can hear your heart thundering in your chest. 

Diluc has always been brave; he was a terrible troublemaker of a child that grew into a body too big for a boy— some part of him that he kept locked away for the sake of living his life as his father would have wanted. If he wanted to lead an empire of a business, he would need to grow up eventually.

He's always been brave, but he was still too much of a coward to stop using his father as a way out. Because he knows Crepus would have wanted Diluc to find happiness, not vengeance.

It's about time he stopped being afraid.

"I think he wants me to tell you something."

"And what's that?" You smile.

"That in this life—" he breathes, "—in this and the next and the one after until the stars of Teyvat run out, I will love you."

You snicker. He can feel it rumbling in his own chest. "How romantic," you tease with his breath in your lungs.

He shuts you up with his mouth.

Diluc kisses you in autumn, with the golden leaves of change. Diluc kisses you warm and sweet and long. He can't remember what was filling his senses at that moment. Your bodies were too close for him to care.

WINTER

Winter was always a bothersome season.

Even in his days away from Mondstadt, in all the time he spent roaming the north, he never quite grew accustomed to the freezing temperatures and harsh weather.

When Diluc left for Snezhnaya, he left his childhood behind, too. He abandoned who he was on the doorstep of his manor, put all his funds into the hands of Adelinde with no intent of returning, and left in the middle of the night without a word.

Half of him expected to die. The other half expected to not return by choice.

For the first few months he spent adjusting to the northern climate, he tucked himself away in a hidden cavern away from the Capital where the Tsaritsa resided. He was in no condition to battle, let alone challenge a god.

He spent many days stealthily hunting down lower ranking Fatui— people that no one would miss. At eighteen years old he had enough blood on his hands to guarantee Celestia's smiting. Blood that, as he learned, does not wash off.

He had to teach himself how to travel through thick snow. Through blizzards and hail and subzero temperatures nothing alike to those felt on Dragonspine.

And when he finally returned home, battle worn and hardened and cold, he couldn't stand the snow. Every crunch under his boots reminded him of the times he had to lug around his greatsword through treacherous enemy lines. Even the sound put him on edge for incoming attacks.

It wasn't like he was ever particularly fond of the cold but for a long time, as a boy, he would simply tolerate it. He had his Pyro vision, after all, and it never truly caused him any harm.

When Kaeya received his Cryo vision, things took a turn.

The cold represented nothing but death for Diluc. It was pain and grief and sorrow— loss in magnitudes indescribable to anyone else. It was bloodshed, the terrible stench of flesh, metal on metal. It was homesickness.

There was nothing poetic or beautiful about it. It only reminded him of all the things he had lost.

He would roll his eyes when Venti sang about the first snowfall of the season. His Pyro vision would glow until the ice melted around him. It's impractical, he told you when you first met and he was guiding you back down the mountain. It doesn't do any good except make you slip and fall.

Diluc remembers quite vividly how you snorted at that. And, like always, you went on to say things that would make his head spin. Find beauty in life even where you think it doesn't exist.

He didn't heed your advice all too much, instead grumbling about how his claymore was getting heavy and that he wanted to get back to the Winery as soon as possible.

But then he found that it was hard to ignore your words. Especially when you were showing him exactly how to do it— popping frozen grapes into his mouth that were somehow a little sweeter; mixing him hot cocoa the way your mother taught you; throwing snowballs at him from behind trees and thinking you've won until he nails you straight in the face in retaliation.

Winter always brought a smile to your face. And how could he not smile when you are?

The best part of it all was that the cold made you cling to him a little closer. A little tighter. So close that he swears he can hear your heart beating in his own ears, savouring his warmth unlike anyone he'd ever met before.

"My personal fire seelie," you joked once. He pinched your cheek until you slapped his hand away and buried your face back into his chest.

Diluc is pretty certain that he hasn't been this happy in a long time. Not since before his father passed, at least. Even with the nervous sigh that leaves him, you're urging him forward.

"I can't believe you never learned how to skate!"

"It's... not something noble families would have approved of."

"But you have this whole lake in your backyard!" You gawk. He only stifles a laugh, stumbling clumsily into your arms. You catch him as if you'd done it a thousand times before.

"Show me how it's done."

"It's like dancing," you say with an encouraging grin, pulling him along with you slowly. You're half right. Some aspects of it do remind him of a warm spring night, with music playing and your laughter in his ears. On the other hand, he can't seem to keep his skates straight.

"The ice won't fall through, right?" He murmurs anxiously, nodding at the Pyro vision hung on his belt.

"If it does, I'll save you!"

"I don't think you'd be able to carry me up from the water," he deadpans.

"I'd save you," you insist.

"Really?"

"Yes, really! For as many times as you need me to save you, I will."

And you did save him. Though, that statement is better left unspoken for the sake of the heat rising to his cheeks. Instead, he leans in to press a kiss to your forehead.

"I love you," he whispers into your skin.

Find beauty in life. Another set of words he never thought he would understand. But he's staring at beauty right in its face and it smells like Cecelias. Dances like a shooting star. Loves unconditionally.

Diluc always loathed winter, until you redefined it into a thing he missed dearly—

Home.

© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.

crossposted to ao3!

🏷️ @rintosei hi babe its up <3

[canaidliafail]

roommates

Abby x f!reader x ellie 🌿 2.1k words

listen idk what demon possessed me but I had to write about a threeway relationship with ellabs in a college AU. Its just random scenes of what it would be like and theres filth so MDI

CW: voyerism I think, jealousy and abby and ellie being unhinged over reader [ like srsl ] , established relationship, mentions of alcohol & dealer ellie. not proof read, will never be. Say a prayer and go ahead and read idk

“In a moment you're getting the shivers

'Cause I know the way you feel

My body gives you chills”

•••

In college, rumors went around fast. Everyone knew that Cindy from chem had relapsed for the third time that year, that Alexander had hooked up with every exchange student, that Abby was probably that richest kid in the entire campus and that Ellie was the hottest lesbian dealer that lived in dormitory B5.

That along with the fact that Abby, Ellie and you were roommates. Manny and Dina had, on different occasions tried to get a hold of you and fill you in on how hot the gossip on the three of you were but it just failed to entertain you enough to listen.

You didn’t give a fuck actually. You were so blissfully content with your reality that you weren’t interested in knowing what everyone else's half assed version sounded like. Your girlfriends though were different. Abby and Ellie had the inseparable dynamic of oil and water. They just did not get along but they did find common sense when it came to you and they had to know what was going on. Blind and deep in love they forgot how they themselves were a prize and considered most people who approached you a threat.

Abby vaguely remembered a rumor when you three first started going out after Jesse's birthday. Ellie was the supplier that night and the girl that came by your dorm to pick up the stuff caught you two making out in the hallway. Ellie was a bit more flustered to be caught like that while you just rolled your eyes as if she was the problem invading your public space and walked inside your room, though back then, the girl assumed you were staying over at Ellie’s place. In the span of a week,the whole art department knew that Ellie allegedly had a girlfriend. That was until someone interrupted the conversation

“Wait, is Ellie's girl the one in sculpture ?You know she has a lot of tattoos and talks with Nora a lot?”

“Yeah her!”

“Well than she has to be cheating on her cause I saw her In Anderson's car the other night and they were like,going at it”

So other than “that girl with tattoos in sculpture major” you were also “The one two timing Ellie and Abby”

Abby didn’t know how much of a hot topic she was. She knew people talked but not about her. She was cooking and ellie was smoking weed on the kitchen counter keeping her company when you barged in your dorm room.

“You have to hear this” You said excitedly and tossed your bag on the couch and your shoes all over the hallway which Abby being a clean freak knew would have to organize by herself later that evening. You run up to them in the kitchen and Ellie out of habit spread her legs to let you in her space for a kiss. Which you didn’t really give but instead you took her blunt and took one long good puff.

“So I was talking with my friends and apparently there’s this rumor going around that I am cheating on Ellie williams with Abby anderson”

Abby stilled her hand while working with the pan and the stir fry food and she turned to look at Ellie the same moment that she did. They came to a silent agreement to solve this issue which you found quite embarrassing to think over in the first place. You couldn’t take problems like these seriously and hell, who doesn’t have people talking shit behind their back ?

“Oh c'mon don’t tell me you are mad” You whined and abby turned around to cup your cheek,gently caressing you

“Doesn’t it bother you? That they are doing this?”

“It would but thats so much effort and like…oh my fucking god who caresssss” You drew out and left to go rest on the couch.

“Can’t you two just… make out the next time you are on campus or something ? That will solve things or whatever”

And they did. Not because you told them to, but at some point abby had to help Ellie’s scrawny ass carry some fresh wood planks to her working space in class to build a new canvas and before they parted ways she did kiss her on the lips, hard and long and then she left to attend her own lectures. The rumors didn’t die but people had a rough idea of what was going on now.

________

Abby loved eating you out continuously and tirelessly. She would come to a pussydrunk state where she would lazily lap up at your pussy like she was starving and despite wanting to take the reins and be more commanding,her skill rendered you weak and helpless and a moaning mess, and when you were voiceless from the pleasure your soft sighs did the job for her. And that's when usually Ellie would come strapped up and take you right after Abby was finished devouring your puffy cunt.

Abby unbuckled her belt with a heavy clank once the metal clasp snapped open that signified it was your turn to please which had you licking your lips eager to taste her. Ellie pushed you on all fours and slapped your thighs as indication to spread them apart and got into position behind you admiring your ass for a good few seconds while Abby sat in front of you, legs spread and a cigarette in hand taunting you to go ahead.

You usually took your time,biting her freckled thighs and leaving a path of bruising bitemarks which had her groan in fake protest most of the time. You pressed your palms flat against her legs and moved your head closer to her cunt,your nose buried in the trimmed blonde hair as you licked a flat thick stripe that had Abby flinch in pleasure. Ellie took her moment to slowly slide in her new thick strap toy in you

“Abby prepared you so well for my cock, fuck look at it just sliding in”

Abby was loud, Ellie was vocal, and you loved the combination of the two in bed.

Abby would hold your hair up,a string of praises falling from her lips and ellie would lean in leaving kisses on your back as she thrusted her hips in a pace that fastened every minute enjoying how well you took her every time.

__________

You rarely left the apartment alone since your schedules matched with one of your girlfriends. However on the sparse occasion that you did, you always found yourself in trouble.

You stepped out of the room and were busy locking the door when you heard a girl behind you scoff. You turned to look at the unpleasant figure who hoarded the space and you smirked

“Can I help you?”

“Yeah how about you keep it down at night?”

She snapped, aiming to shame you. She wasn’t wrong. Last night was something else. When you and Abby dominated Ellie at the same time it usually ended up in the rest of the dormitory having a poor night. It was a bit homophobic in your opinion to only target you when there was Manny, one floor above you being just as rowdy with his girlfriend.

You smiled and leaned against the wall effectively walking into her personal space. She froze on the spot and looked up at you. You weren’t tall but you were tall enough to use it to your advantage at times like these

“Aren’t you the girl who tried to get into Ellies pants on Jesse's birthday?”

She frowned and quirked her mouth in disgust

“You are so delusional”

You looked into her eyes,down to her lips and then slowly fixed a crooked fold on her shoulder pads from her shirt

“Am I though? You pathetic cunt, if you came for a fight at least follow through” She tensed,lost and unsure on how to handle this situation when Abby walked out of the door and yanked you away from the girl like a wet cat, holding your arm in a way that it made it look like she only tried to get a hold of your backpack to slide it on her own shoulders. To you, it was a warning, to the stranger it seemed like a gesture of affection.

“Wait for me in my car. I'll drive you” she said and passed you her keys. You left, unbothered and entertained enough for the rest of the day. Abby however glared at the girl and stalked over, towering over her like a hawk in a much more aggressive manner than you did and she seemed to shrink in on herself

“If you talk to her again I'll make sure you end up on the streets. If you insult her, you might even have to retake the exams for a different college” she barked and left.

You were in Abby’s car and had turned the heater on and were already looking at what song to put on from the speakers. She sat on the driver's seat and grabbed your phone

“Hey!”

“What the fuck was that” she growled and you rolled your eyes and leaned your head against the window

“I don’t get why you take everything so personally” You whispered and she carefully put a hand on your shoulder to get your attention. You turned your head and she pulled you in for a kiss, her hand on the nape of your neck. She lingered there to keep you close and rubbed her thumb in a straight line against your spine,the soft gesture contradicting her stern tone

“You need to learn to apologize. That attitude was completely unprovoked”

“Didn’t you hear what she said?”

“I did and I expected you to handle it better than that”

You looked at each other and eventually you agreed and let out a small and curt sorry to show remorse which she half accepted as a first step to changing your actions. Abby, no matter how in the wrong you were, would always have your back in public and would only scold you when she knew you had privacy and were alone and that was something you loved about her.

You smiled and wrapped your arms around her neck and went to kiss her before moving down to her neck to leave new bitemarks near Ellie’s

“You are insatiable”

“You are hot when you are mad at me babygirl '' You teased and watched as Abby's cheeks took a new shade of pink.

__________

Abby and Ellie weren’t exactly opposite forces but they did not blend either, So when you had walked in on them making out on the couch with Abby on top of Ellie you had to take a photo silently stalking in from the corridor. You loved watching them please each other. There weren’t many times that you caught them in the midst of it but when you did you did everything within your power to stay silent and just enjoy the view. That was until your phone betrayed you with the shallow “click” that hinted at a photo being taken.

Abby pulled away first,lips a new hue of red trying to steady herself on the armrest while ellie took a moment to fix her tousled short hair.She looked at you and you never thought doe eyes could look so menacing and mischievous .

“Enjoying the show?”

You walked in and stood in front of the couch, arms crossed as you leaned against the wall

“Absolutely. Go on”

Ellie pulled abby back in for another kiss clearly to horny to entertain this conversation and sucked on her lower lip in need. She followed Ellie’s lead and pushed her lower on the cushions of the sofa moaning into the kiss. Ellie was a good kisser and she knew it, and just imagining how good abby felt had you sitting on the sofa across the couch and spreading your legs to make yourself comfortable knowing you would soon have to slide your hand in your pants to release the building tension in your stomach.

___________

Ellie and Abby got along as roommates but not as people. Ellie kept to herself and in their shared space which was the living room she only had a tray with her smoking gear and a bag of weed but otherwise she didn’t cram the space with any other items. Abby liked plants and Ellie found them to be a decent choice for decor and that was that. Dormitory B5 was known for having nicer and more spacious rooms. Abby was rich and Ellie’s side hustle made her comfortable enough. In the first two years of them living together they talked occasionally and they knew each other's friend group. They did bond once over their shitty ex’s and Abby appreciated Ellie’s seriousness when she came out to her confused and convinced that she was perhaps a lesbian. That was it though. In the second semester of their second year however you moved in. Abby told Ellie that if they didn’t like their new roommate she could easily pull a few strings to have you out but that was thrown out of the window once they saw you.

You took up all of their space, You had pottery items in Abby’s room when you wanted to show her something and eventually forget them there, and you had left your makeup on Ellies desk because you often sat there since, in your words “The sun coming from your window is so much better than mine”

The living room now was full of posters and you insisted on having to spend time together at least on Saturdays. You were comfortable and your comfort made them relax as well. Ellie of course knew what it was. She wanted you and she was head over heels for you and all of that was sealed when she came to your apartment after a shitty 3 hour art history lecture to find you making dinner for everyone. You also had a gift for her

“Remember how you told me about that comic ? So funny story, my friend actually was getting rid of his collection since he is moving out and I asked him to give them to me so here you go”

Ellie actually cried that night, moved by your gesture and when she saw you now all she heard in her mind was “wife wife wife”

But Ellie wasn’t the only one. Abby had magically shifted her entire schedule in a way that whenever you had a free day she had one as well and she would be in the apartment with you.

Abby had never felt lust like this before. If she couldn’t own the wind she wanted to at least tame it and dance with it for a while.

The two of them talked and somehow came to a mutual understanding that if you were to choose either of them they would be peaceful about it. Another silent agreement that they took however was to make sure you would end up with either of them and not someone else.

The first time it happened, all three of you were drunk out of your minds blasting music from the speakers and played a raunchy card game that Abby didn’t even remember if it existed in the first place. One thing led to another and suddenly you found yourself in your underwear only, fondling Ellies chest while nibbling on her neck and Abby pressed against your back, her hand under your panties fingering you while whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

Just like you moving in and settling into their lives, a relationship between the three of you occurred just as naturally since you felt like the missing link that they needed to connect.

————-

Ellie was unhinged and she was aware of it and it was one of the things that she didn’t care to fix. not when Abby was a jock who flaunted her wealth and threatened with it and certainly not when she saw how aroused you were every time she brought her butterfly knife in the bedroom.

However she also knew that sometimes she took it too far.

She once overheard a guy in your major fawn over you in the most grotesque way, salivating over the fact that you wore a dress that accentuated your ass in all the right ways, and the low v front cut of the top showed your sternum tattoos in a “provocative way”

Ellie was no better than a man because she had noticed all those things herself which was why she ate you out in the elevator that morning and caused the entire building to believe that it was out of service for 36 minutes. However when Ellie thought of that it was different. So she leaned against the door and played with her knife, carrying them around campus under the excuse that she needed them to sharpen her coals for her artworks, even though she carried them for very different situations that she wasn’t shamed to admit that she made use of. She didn’t say anything but when they noticed her staring they did turn around to face her the same time that you were ready to leave. You walked up to her oblivious to the tension around her and went in for a small greeting peck that she turned into a french kiss with her hands on your ass pulling you closer. She lifted one hand to cradle your head and looked at the guy across the hall challenging him to continue his fruitless attempts to hit on you to which he just frowned and looked away confused and in disgust.

That night, when you were blissfully asleep on Abby’s chest she mentioned what happened to her in a tone that indicated that she planned on handling it herself. Ellie knew though, that if word of a situation like that reached Abby’s ears the guys would probably either end up kicked out of campus at best, hospitalised at worst.

••••

heres my ko-fi tip jar if you enjoy my work 🤍

[catsfor2]

fem!artist!reader x ellie

<warnings> sexual ?tension ?, slight slight angst, swearing, UNEDITED!

i’ve been wanting to write some hcs/drabbles for a bit and am finally doing it!!. this is kinda self indulgent and i thought others might enjoy. i want to do fics, more hcs, and am CURRENTLY DOING REQUESTS/ASKS!!!!! so plssss interact/tell me what u think!!! —j

Ellie found value in her art mainly through its life and realism. Her sketchbook was merely snippets of her mind - the love, the fear, the humor, the darkness.

Aside from books she’s sparsely found, she hasn’t been exposed to much other forms of art.

When you appeared in Jackson, it barely took days for mentions of the new ‘town artist’ to reach her ears. Dina, fawning over a delicate set of earrings, “Ellie she makes them out of plants…or like…the sap? I don’t totally remember what she said but I swear she’s so freaking cool,”

Or when Jesse came strolling in, rambling about this tiny dagger ring he now has, made out of an old spoon.

“Look I didn’t even buy it alright? Dina won’t stop talking about this chick who makes like…jewelry..I guess? Now I’ve got probably the shortest range weapon known to man,” he finished, smiling.

The final straw was when Ellie came home from a patrol late one night, achy and worn, to a tiny box sitting on her mattress.

As she peered closer, she saw a note hastily taped to the side. It read:

“Hey its Dina. I saw something and it made me think of you. I may have blabbed about you to the artist and she knows who you are now. Oops. She said she wants to see your drawings. Don’t hate me.”

Ellie felt her body suddenly become more achy and more tired. Of course. She didn’t want to get involved in this bullshit, some newcomer wooing all her friends with useless junk. Although, the thought that Dina got her a gift blurred her annoyance to a degree.

Ellie’s fingers tore through the wrapping on the outside, flipping the lid to reveal a small, bone colored pendant strung with a brown braided cord. As she peered closer, the pendant became a moon;It’s face, immaculately tiny, smiling subtly.

The necklace was far too obstructive for Ellie to wear at all, honestly. Dina probably knew this when she got it. But the pendant truly is beautiful. An entirely different art form. A different show of care - of talent. The detail allows her to comfortably sit in her room and study it quietly for another ten minutes.

Ellie sat hunched the next morning, eating something bland for breakfast, only clad in a loose sports bra and some sweatpants.

A knock heightened her soggy mood.

“Are you fucking- I went out yesterday there’s no fucking reason to be knocking on my door at—”

Jesus. There is no mistaking it, Ellie thinks. This is you.

Your hair is intertwined with beads, some homemade and some foraged from the looks of it. Dozens of necklaces, layered and tangled around your neck. The same can be said for both of your wrists. Your ears, pierced up the sides and looped with beads, charms, and other metal pieces.

It was like you were a display for the things on your body. Except, no, Ellie thinks, your face stands out amongst it all. Somehow, with all of the things covering you, your beauty is the most noticeable.

It does nothing to quell how annoyed Ellie is, however.

“Who are you,” Ellie quips(knowing full well who you are). “and what do want.”

“I’m sorry- am I intruding? I really didn’t want to bother you or anything!” You rush, suddenly embarrassed.

“I’m y/n, I just moved here. Dina just said that you might have some extra pencils and stuff that I could borrow if I ran out?” You say, hoping desperately you can save this first impression.

“I mean…” Ellie uncrosses her arms and brushes some hair behind her ear.

“Yeah, you can use some shit. I have enough to share. I didn’t know Dina told you that, so. My bad. For being…rude.” She adds, opening the door even wider. You see her muscles flex as her arms extend and curse yourself for even noticing.

“Oh it’s fine, really!” You say, making sure to remember this about Dina. Also making sure to avert your eyes from the dangerously low cut of Ellie’s sweatpants. Her careless movements are really making you nervous.

Ellie gestures for you to enter, abruptly grasping your shoulder when you don’t move as fast as she would like. She begins to walk you farther into the room.

“You do realize it’s 6 a.m. right? What do you need pencils for at 6 a.m.?” She says, staring you directly in the eyes.

“Ah, well, I guess you’re not a morning type of creator?”

“No.” Ellie sternly remarks. “I’m not.”

She turns around to start walking away.

Starting to feel like a pest, you quickly try to think of something else to change the subject.

“Y’know…I think a ring would look really nice on your hands. Or fingers- I guess.”

That’s a nice compliment right? Or did I just say something fucking insane? You think.

Ellie straightens, slowing her pace a bit.

“I could make you a ring? Like as a trade? For the…pencils?” You say.

She turns.

“Yeah…Sure…” Her hands fall on her hips.

“How do you know how big to make it,” Ellie says. “The ring.”

“Well, what I’ve been doing is using this like, bendy piece of plastic to—well, hold on,” you pause, grabbing her hand to demonstrate.

Ellie’s eyes snap to yours in an instant, invisibly clouding your brain with something warm and fuzzy. You feel her hand flex in yours.

“uh…yeah, so I use this,” you reach into your pocket. “and I wrap it around whichever finger, like middle or ring finger.”

You instinctively wrap it around her ring finger, matching up the lines and moving your head in close to see which number lines up. You feel her figure move closer to you, almost hovering over you as you work.

“aaaand it looks like you’re a size….9” you mumble, running your hands along the base of her fingers before shyly retrieving yourself from touching her, remembering the situation.

Before you can move, Ellie snatches both of your wrists, bringing them in between the both of you. Her eyes intimately gloss over your rings.

“Hold up, could I try on one of yours?”

Your face colors. You couldn’t really explain, but something about the way she’s gripping your hands makes the blood in your body heat up.

“I…yeah, yes. But these are gonna be like…pinky rings for you.” You say, hands fumbling to take off one of your rings for Ellie to try on. Your palms are getting sweatier each time she touches you.

“What?”

“Your fingers are bigger than mine. So,” you take your ring and attempt to place it on her finger. “it only fits…” Ellie’s eyes track your hands. “…on your pinky. There. See? Pinky ring.”

“Oh.” She says. Her gaze still hasn’t left your hands, almost like she’s noticing them for the first time.

You misread her quietness as some sort of sadness.

“Hey, your hands aren’t that much bigger than mine- I know a lot of girls who just have bigger ring sizes. It’s not like- a thing. To feel bad about, or anything.”

Ellie says nothing. Her mouth twitches.

“Your hands are nice. I think..”

She looks up, a laugh bubbling out slightly. Finally, she stops you.

“I don’t mind having big hands.” She looks at you with something weird, something extra.

“They’re not really that big…” You joke, thankful that Ellie has seemed become less irritated with your presence. You notice the wirey veins tracing between her fingers and lining the backs of her hands.

“Yeah?” She questions. “Wanna compare?”

The way shes smiling at you puts a fiery ball in your stomach. It gets hotter as you realize she will not stop looking at you.

“Wow you really can’t take your eyes off my hands, huh? You really want to make me a ring that bad?” She says. Something in her tone makes you pulse between your thighs.

“Oh- I don’t mean to stare. I’m sorry.” You utter, trying to regain your composure.

This is not the Ellie you were taking to before. You felt…vulnerable, now. Your shirt felt thin, it had you rethinking your bralessness. Your shorts felt…short. It felt like the exposed parts of you were burning under the possibility of being seen by Ellie.

“No, I think you mean to.” She continues, “Because you’ve been staring this whole time.”

She’s found you out. You tried your best to be subtle about the yearning, the pull you felt, the way you’ve been just a little breathless ever since you’ve walked through the door.

But you failed.

“It’s really cute, the way you say you like my hands cause of the ring thing.”

She grabs your chin gently and rubs her thumb just under your mouth.

“…But. Be honest.” She stops. Her other hand starts to inch up your leg. You barely notice until her hand brushes the hem of your shorts.

“They just turn you on.”

Your eyes flip wide open, as does your mouth.

“You can pretend it’s some sort of artistic muse thing, but I think…” Ellie tucks a strand of hair behind your ear before leaning in closely near your neck. “you just want to be touched.”

Your silence is encouraging to her, it seems. The way your eyes have glossed over and cheeks gone red also let her continue,

“Yeah, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Have you been waiting for someone to ask you that?” Her eyes flit between your lips and the outline of your pebbled nipples under your shirt.

“For someone to give their fingers to you?”Ellie only grins. She’s pleased, excited, at your inexperience.

“I- I don’t know what to say,” you sputter.

The hand on your thigh tightens, causing you to squeeze your legs ever so slightly. You focus on meeting Ellie’s gaze and not closing your eyes to relish in the contact.

“Do you want me to touch you?” She asks.

Her eyes gaze so heavily at your mouth, it’s difficult to remember to speak.

“Cause I really want to touch you. Please?” Both of her hands are now trailing up and down your thighs, almost frantically, tugging at the bottom of your shirt and messing with the hem.

You know that she can now see your bare breasts, pushing through the fabric of your top. Ellie’s hands grope your waist and your ass suddenly slides forward from the force, your breasts pressing up against hers in an instant. The heady exhale she groans out blows past your neck. The warmth gives you shivers.

“Yes, touch me.” You say,

hoping wholly to god that it won’t be the last time you say it.

[twistedturnstill]

Turtle Temper

Chapter 2 Y/N Pov

My phone alarm went off. Huh, I don't remember setting my alarm, I thought to myself. Sitting up I blindly searching for the horrible alarm.

"Gah!" I exclaimed as I found it, the light shining bright in my dark room. My phone read 6 o'clock, and lucky me I forgot to charge my phone.

Sitting up I slipped off my bed, feeling around for my lamp light. Finally I found it and flicked it on. My room was still a mess from yesterday, I even left my journal out. Surprised on about my carelessness I quickly snatched it up and threw in the hidden drawer I made into the desk.

I walked over to my dresser various little trinkets scattered across it. I searched threw my drawers looking for my underclothes and a pair of jeans. Grabbing what I needed I looked up quickly in my slightly broken mirror before heading to my closet quickly grabbing a long sleeved shirt.

I head into the apartments bathroom showering quickly and changing as soon as I got out. Gathering up my things I go back into the bedroom. I notice now it's about 6:45 am. I pick up my homework and shoving it in my messenger bag. My stomach growls for food. I walk into the kitchen where my mom is hurriedly drinking coffee and walking out the door.

"By hun! Love you! Have a good day at school!" And with that mom was gone.

It was often like this. I fix myself a small cup of coffee with a little cream and sugar in it. Sitting down to eat what little cereal was left for this week, I open up my phone looking at pinterest. The time passed quickly, soon Vic walked into the kitchen watching the video from last night.

Taking this as my cue to leave I grab my bag dumping my milk down the drain and polishing off my coffee before heading out the door and down the apartment building. The walk to school was about a mile away but was nice enough for me. I hated the bus enough to walk it so. The rush of the city was fully up to speed and the sun was just coming up, it had a peaceful feeling. I walked through the park, a beautiful short cut that takes like 10 minutes off the time.

I got to school early like I usually do. Making my way to my locker I unload my bag of the books I don't need. I head to class after that the halls still mostly empty. First class was Chemistry. I set myself down and look through my notes, though that didn't go too well. I began to wake up more I kept thinking about last night.

The day went by kinda fast because of that. I wonder if I'll see them again. I ought to try and get that video deleted off Vics phone when I get home, I home he doesn't find a buyer. Thoughts of a similar kind floated through my head. Soon I was in my 5th period working on homework finally able to somewhat concentrate. Well that was until someone started talking in my ear.

"Hi! I'm Ellie and this is Jake!" The girl "Ellie" said gesturing to the boy ahead of him. He responded with a wave and a smile.

"Hey. I'm (Y/N)," I respond.

"So are you new here?" Ellie asks.

"Uh, no not really,"

"Oh, how come I haven't seen you around before?"

"I don't know, I mean theres a lot of kids here."

"Yeah true."

"What you got going on? Are you in any sports or anything?" Jake finally chimed in.

"Um no not really, I work part time after school, at the pool though." I say looking back down to my work.

"Huh, that's cool" he said.

We continued to make small talk here and there a before I knew school was over, "See ya!" They called as they left.

I shoved my stuff into my bag rushing to my locker. I grabbed the rest of my things and left, starting the walk home taking my sweet time.

I stopped in the park again, this time setting myself down under a tree to finish studying and homework. When I finally finished it was like an hour later. I finished my walk home getting back at like 4:30. My phone had died in the middle of the day so the first thing I did when I made it to my room was put it on its charger.

I threw my bag on the chair, and flopped on my bed. After laying there for like 5 minutes I realized all was quiet. Vics not home! deciding this as a great time to celebrate I turned on my radio, up almost as loud as possible. Doing a little happy dance I start to pick up my room. Singing along to my favorite songs. Soon my room looked like an actual room. I'd even been happy enough to make my bed!

I turned down my music a bit unplugged my phone from the charger and hung out on my bed in blissful peace. Too bad it was destroyed when I heard Vic get home.

"What do you mean- Fine!" he yelled.

Soon he came marching to my room trying to open my door only to find it locked. He pounded on it telling me to turn off the music.

"Get up off your butt and clean this house! You lazy worthless brat!" He yelled through the door.

Sighing I get up and turn off my music. Vic settled himself back into his chair to watch more T.V. I go around the house picking it up as he asked. As soon as I'm done I grab notebook paper and sketch paper from my room and head up to the roof. This isn't something I normally do but hey now that I've been up here once what's the problem with doing it again.

I lost myself in my work. It seemed like forever before I no longer had any light to see what I was doing. This is when I heard muffled voices from below. I take a look and it was the things from last night! Raphael, Michelangel, Leonardo and the purple one, I never learned his name. I also saw Vic he was beginning to argue with them again. Oh great, why can't he just- oh wait the video!

I picked up my things rushing to the stair well arms full of stuff. I reach my apartment rush into my room dropping it all on my floor before rushing back out and down the stairs again.

I finally made it to the last floor. I stop running to give myself. I get out the door rounding the corner to see Vic being held down by Raph, in the middle of the street. He looked angry and dangerous, making me regret coming outside.

"-or so help me I'll kick your hairy butt all the way to New Jersey!" He yelled raising his fist.

"(Y/N)!! Get this freak off me now!" Vic yelled at me alerting the turtles to my presence. I start walking over to the two, timidly. Michelangelo gave a wave and a smile which I returned and the purple one just started confused at me.

"Guys! It's the Kraang!" Leonardo shouted.

Just then headlights came racing up the road. I stop as I see the headlights, frozen like a deer I couldn't move. This is when Raph finally took notice of me. He jumps up shoving me out of the way. He, however, was still in the vans path. Just before the van hit them Leonardo jumped in pushing them both out of the way.

"Guys they are turning around!" I shout. I may not know them but I could still warn them.

"What are you thinking getting in the way like that?!" Raph yelled at me.

"Let's not let this one get away." Leonardo says,interrupting him, to the team.

I run over to where Vic was laying on the side walk looking for the phone when I hear a crash. I turn and look around. The van ran into the wall.

"Well that was easy," the red turtle says with a smirk.

I stand up staring and the van. The Kraang weren't finished however the van doors open and out they step with their guns. I back up and away from the scene as the turtles jump into action. I kept watching the scene my eyes kind of glazed over. Then I remember Vic and that dang phone! Where did they go? I start looking around to notice Vic had been knocked in the van.

I could go in there and try and get it... wait a second this is way beyond what I signed up for. Why do I care in the first place. I can't help them any more anyway. Raph jumped in the van at this point too. That is when the battle took a turn for the worse. Leonardo got knocked to the ground and was being kicked. And I, being stupid, immediately ran at th guy shoving the man off of Leonardo.

Leonardo jumped up, "Thanks, but stay back, you could get seriously hurt."

Following his advice I back away. Out of no where I see a lazer flash in front of me followed by two more. The first two shots missed but the third would have hit if it weren't for the purple turtle. He noticed and jumped in to help me, and thank goodness for that too. He pushed us out of the way and launched himself to take out that 'Kraang'.

"You good?" He asked.

"Yeah, thanks sorry," I reponded dazed.

"No problem, names Donatello," he said. He looked over to see the van starting, "I think it'd be better if you left now."

"Yeah okay me too. Oh, um, if you can help Vic my moms kind of attached to him." I said starting to turn away.

He gave a thumbs up and ran with his brothers to try and catch the van which still held Raphael and Vic. I watched in aw before heading inside.

I just couldn't make sense of this. What did Vic get himself into? Who were those guys? Why did I care whether or not the turtles got what they wanted and were safe. Maybe because Michelangelo saved me yesterday. What was this mess. I'd finally made it to my bed flopped down heaving a sigh. Wonder if I'll see them again, I hope I'll never see Vic again.

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hi there! If you were still accepting these and had the time, I wanted to join in on the redacted match ups!! Please and thank you <3

About me:

A song I'm fixated on right now is Read Your Mind by Sabrina Carpenter. Specific lyrics are

"Decompressin', tryna ease the tension But you got me stressin', feelin' like I need to call when You sneak up on me, tell me that you miss me in your life

I can't read your mind You say that you need to be alone But night and day, want me at your beck and call"

I think I've just been really drawn to this song lately because I'm at a place where things are going really well for me, and I have a full assurance that I know who my friends are right now and I just compare that to a previous time where I didn't have those certainties and thinking about people who were kind of two-faced and would make me relate to this song.

Not sure if this tidbit is relevant, but I hadn't even taken any enneagram test before going down your list of questions. I'm a 4 apparently! (The test I took showed me a pie chart that was like, all 9 numbers, the other two biggest pieces were 7 and 2, if that matters at all. Idk, as said hadn't done a test for this kind of thing until just now)

I do love YouTube video essays, but I always watch them intently rather than as background noise. My go-to favorite would be the Lindsay Ellis Omegaverse Lawsuit video (does that count as a video essay? I'm pretty sure it does). On the surface, it sounds like such a ridiculous topic to take so seriously, but the actual case was very dramatic and fascinating to me.

I didn't really have a childhood imaginary friend. I would either play by myself or pretend I was playing with cartoon characters (I specifically remember on multiple occasions pretending to be going on adventures with Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach).

My go-to way to fall asleep would be taking my medication (I am an insomniac, and melatonin supplements don't work for me, so we got prescribed sleep medication), and then either putting on an asmr audio roleplay video or just laying in silence depending on how tired I am. I can never fall asleep to sleep aid audios, I prefer listening to just rambling nonsense about a specific thing like video games or something like that.

My favorite Redacted audio would be Confronting Your Technician. I really like that one for multiple reasons. First off, Project Meridian was the first series I had actually listened to when I first found the channel and I really liked the concept of an android listener. I think the series as a whole is really interesting because it really makes me think about how we treat technology, especially as you get into the territory of making devices seem more "human" (that's the brief version, but I have many ramblings about this series in my notes on my phone). Secondly, I really relate to being taken advantage of by someone who would know I wouldn't know any better or any different, and to have that audio as the turning point for not just confronting Marcus for what he did, but also having James be there to help the asset face him was just really nice. I didn't have that same kind of support when I had to face people who were bad to me, and listening to that audio is almost healing in that sense for me. I have it saved on a comfort audios playlist even though it's not labeled as a comfort audio.

The redacted boy that holds no appeal to me is one Asher Talbot. He's sweet, and he's lovable, but when I first found the channel, his audios just felt kind of boring and repetitive. Not that I don't like the occasional sweet and domestic fluffy stuff, but I just didn't see that much in him tbh. I understand the appeal, but he's just not for me.

One movie I know all the words to is Burlesque (2010). I'm not a huge movie person, but I ended up watching that at a sleepover I went to, and I just really loved the movie. I like musicals, I like sexual humor, and I liked the story of the movie (even if it was a little cheesy and predictable at times). Plus, it features Christina Aguilera, and her vocals are PHENOMENAL!!

A redacted boy that I love platonically and would love to be friends with is Huxley. He's in my top 5 favorite redacted characters, but I think ultimately I do like him more as a friend than a romantic partner. He's just so chill and supportive and I tend to be very fast-paced and anxious and excited a lot of the time, so I think he would be a good friend to have to sort of balance that out.

My go-to thing to ramble about always relates to animation. Specifically, I am such a nerd about breaking down the process of how something was animated and either theorizing or looking up certain choices that were made behind the scenes. For a long time, I wanted to pursue animation as a career, and I still kind of do, so that has become a topic I am very passionate to ramble about at any given moment, not specific to when I'm tired.

When I was a kid and we stopped at a gas station, I either got a Dr.Pepper and cheese puffs, or a cherry icee and a plain glazed donut. Nowadays, if I stop at the gas station for a snack, I'll get a diet Dr.Pepper and nacho cheese Doritos.

My current favorite playlist is this playlist I made for me to start my day playing. Noise helps me wake up, and so I made a playlist with songs that inspire me to think confidently of myself. I'm not going to share the entire playlist, but the first three songs are all from Barbie movies (You Can Tell She's A Princess and On Top Of The World from the Princess Charm School movie, and Life Is A Fairytale from the Fashion Fairytale movie). The rest is what I can describe as generic uplifting pop music. It feels very cheesy and fake to have a playlist like this, but it genuinely does make me feel happy and energetic and confident in the morning and I think it helps me start my day just a little bit on a good note.

My guilty pleasure media is the show Mr.Pickles. It's a cartoon about this demon dog who kills people. The show is very violent, and the writing is morally questionable, but overall it is a show I like to just binge every once and a while because I do consider myself to have a somewhat sadistic sense of humor. I never actively wish bad on any real people, but I will laugh at a cartoon dog ripping someone's legs off.

I feel like I've already said a lot (definitely way more than I was anticipating lol) so I think I'll leave it here

Please and thanks again!! Have a good time zone!!!

Thank the lord for you, because this is the moment I’ve been waiting for. 44 match-ups, and I finally get to pair someone with that sweet, lovable boy, Geordi.

The basis is definitely there for a deep emotional connection and supportive relationship. Geordi has this history of insecurity and not being properly appreciated or treated which resonates, to me, with your song choice and why you relate to it. That makes me think the two of you would really understand each other and be able to connect, to communicate clearly in a relationship and set boundaries, to build something good and cohesive right out the get-go.

On a lighter, funner note, I think the two of you would have a lovely, comfortable, domestic life together! Geordi would love pop music with you (so far, the only Redacted boi I headcanon as a Swiftie) and would love listening to you ramble about animation. Even the things you don't have in common would mesh well- I can see you loving watching Star Trek with him or, at least, listening to ramble about Star Trek. Likewise, I’m not sure he loves Mr. Pickles, but he loves you and spending time with you engaging in the things that make you happy.

Song:

Oh, you're the one I want/ I want to drive away with you/ I want your complications too/ I want your dreary Mondays/ Wrap your arms around me, baby boy

Like I said, Swiftie! This song is so cheerful and sweet and is just a fun love song that works for y’all. Also, Geordi knows all the words, and you’ll catch him belting it out when he doesn’t know you’re home. He’ll be embarrassed, and it’ll be so, so cute.

Runner-Ups:

I like David as a runner-up because of his similarities to James, the way he’s a solid, reliable authority figure but more protective and warm than the telepath. He, if necessary, would be the perfect man to make sure you were never taken advantage of again. Elliott is a runner-up because I just love pairing that dreamwalking boy with creatives; like, imagine him building dreamscapes full of adjustable models and features, your own life-size animation models. He’s an artist’s dream come true!

note: this didn’t officially factor into it but your song being named “Read your mind” was a very serendipitous coincidence

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[somethinginscoutcounty]

June 5th 2024 entry in a diary by Erik Karim-Belyaev

6/5/2024

I'm finally able to write or actually do anything without being in pain. A lot has happened a lot that I don't even remember or was even conscious for. I don't know where to start or even how to start I learned all these things myself rather than remembering or even knowing it. Here I have something that can at least help.

(a section of the Scout County Weekly Newspaper dating to April 22, 2024 is glued into the journal, reading as follows)

"New word on the five young adults who went missing on a spring break camping trip in Scout Wyoming National Park last week, not returning on the day they were meant to come back. Last week on the night of the 16th one of the missing persons, Aubrey Donnely-Yang, was found stumbling around the forest area close to the more populated common grounds dazed, confused, and distressed. She was rushed to the hospital to be treated for injuries and potential effects like dehydration and starvation. However, in the early morning of the 17th, Erik Karim-Belyaev was found farther into to forest in the parts known as Deeper Green unconscious with injuries such as lacerations and broken bones along with other injuries. He too was rushed to the hospital to be treated. The remaining three, Graciela and Michael Ellis-Ramã­rez, and Francisca Lambert are yet to be found, but police, search and rescue, and locals are continuing the search for them in hopes that they can be found and rescued. Details on what happened and caused the disappearances are scarce and it's not known whether the group had gotten lost while out in the wilderness or if something else happened."

(diary continues)

So yeah. I got found in the middle of the woods nearly bled to death. I don't remember what happened to me or even what happened to us. All I do remember was all five of us taking the hike in the park to go and find a campsite for our stay and the first day of the actual vacation but after that I have nothing. The next thing I know I wake up in a hospital room hooked up to all kinds of stuff and my body hurts. Apparently, I was out for a few days and finally woke up on the 20th. I had to get a shit tone of stitches for the cuts and lacerations I had. My left shoulder was dislocated, had a broken nose, and I had two broken ribs. I had some kind of rash on a lot of my body that burned so bad and the bandages didn't help at all. I was bedridden at the hospital for weeks and still ordered to stay in bed as much as I could when I took the option to take the rest of my healing time at home where Dad could take care of and watch over me. Of course, Mama came back home leaving her work down in Brazil to see me and also help take care of me. I've been here since April since SCU allowed me to take all the time I needed to heal.

It hasn't been easy though. For a lot of different reasons. Both because I was in pain most of the time since being found and let out thanks to all the soreness and pain in my body from my ribs and the rash that I had for a while, and also because it's been nearly two months and no one else has been found other than me and Aubrey. I'm starting to get worried I've known Gracie, Michael, and Franky since middle school and high school and they mean a lot to me, so much. I'm glad that Aubrey is okay too but I haven't heard from her at all. I don't know what her condition is or how she's doing. I've been waiting for her to call or even text me but I haven't gotten anything.

Mom and Dad have been doing great at making sure I'm okay. relatives have come to see me too along with Nathan coming over too from the campus dorms since he said the dorm room feels weird being so empty now. he's brought Genie along a couple of times. I like Genie, don't get me wrong, but I don't know her too well like Nathan does but she's still cool.

I just hope everything turns out okay in the end.

-Erik

[solar-tl-27]

GOOOOOOOOD afternoon!

Hello hello, i’m so glad to share.. I’m back with >:) art!

Live hectic as usual (i feel like a fanfic writer at this point with how chaotic my life updates are so we’ll keep it short)

Watched the finale of wonderful precure and sobbed screamed and cried, it was beautiful and i’m currently working on preparing for my birthday in.. 2 months.. gotta be early

And excited to watch kimi to idol precure and currently sobbing at maho precure mirai days cuz THOSE ARE MY GIRLS THEY ARE MOM’S THEY SHOULD KISSSSSS i love them so much i’m planning to do precure fan art soon (already finished princess precure headcanon designs)

Today i’m here to share.. my first proper character line up in 4 years!

2 versions cuz m6 attempt at shading DID NOT WORK

I dont have really much to note about each character right now but i can give a quick run down of theee story… mind you these characters are aproximately 13 YEARS OLD

so less get into the loreeee

(Oh wait lemme ad the names)

Story goes,

Mikeal is a archeologist and veteran, dismissed for unknown reasons he has become the guy people call when they are handeling old magic stuff.

He’s got a small crew of people he relies on but his 2 closest companions are Montreal & Chappel. Mikeal suffers from memory problems and often relies on his adopted son Steph’s assistance in keeping his thoughts in check.

Mikeal, Montreal& Chappel are often twisted in several mysteries at once as they are joined by jane, a young reporter who promises to make herself useful and Hiro a mysterious slightly snarky but powerful asset as they try to figure out what happened to Mikael. From dragons to messing with memories and having to choose between regaining what was most important to you and the new life built after…

I feel like I’m trying to make it sound like a movie ad lmao.

Quick summaries of the characters innn this line up!

Alexis: a mysterious girl who often appears in fragments of mikeal’s memories

Montreal: mike’s right hand man and closest companion (they might kiss sometime)

Hiro: a novelist who got himself tangled so deep into a magic object they basically became one (might also kiss mike some time .. listen i’m not judging)

Steph: Mike’s adopted son! Found abandoned at an excavation site as a baby and has been in mikael’s care eversince a smart but irrational young man.

Mikeal: his desire to help people and his desire to find out why he can’t remember anything from 20 years ago drive him to extremes some time. But he’s willing to do whatever it takes, kind hearted but protective.

Jane: Got into the crew by some… non truthful ways but very quickly came clean that she was actually just a reporter trying to get a good story, she’s passionate and tries her best to be a good rolemodel (also might kiss mike some time lol)

Damien: Mike’s number one fan, a kid not afraid to throw himself into danger often to the annoyance of steph and concern to the others. He’s definitely a mommy’s boy as he clings to chappel’s side anytime something gets truely scary.

Chappel: Damien’s mom she’s been good friends with Mikeal even before damien was born,a very enthusiastic woman who has also taken on the role of steph’s motherly figure. Making sure the kids keep up with their school work while also showing off her own skills in chemistry. (Also kisses mike.. are yall seeing a trend??)

Elli: a young girl saved from a dragon’s wrath (she & steph def holds hands) a slightly mysterious character but trying her best… something about her might hold more information about what’s going on.

Genuinely idrk at this point how to explain the full story there are SOOO many more characters too, and i’m in early stagessss of figuring out what to do with 7 year old me’s writing ToT

ty for reading and looking at my art have a good night everyone

[rubywithin]

Who to Trust? 21

After the morning meeting me, Tetsuya and Kyoya went to the bathhouse and went inside. (EIn) “Yesterday a picture was taken fr....” (Kyoya) “Ein try relaxing for a bit before talking”. Ugh...I thought we were here to discuss stuff, I waited for a few minutes, (Ein) “So Isabelle mentioned...” (Tetsuya) “Ein you aren’t relaxing you have to chill for a bit!”. (Ein) “Why....four of us have died and whoever is behind this will try and push us into killing each other again”. (Tetsuya) “But what if you get out Ein? will you continue to let these incidents consume your life. I know it sounds harsh but you have to try and relax a little from time to time!”. I guess he was right....I have been reading less lately, (Kyoya) “I remember at the start you were talking to the others a lot”. (Ein) “Yeah you guy’s are right I have been forgetting to take breaks lately”. I guess I will check out some more books at the library I spent about half an hour enjoying the water.

(Tetsuya) “I think that was a long enough break so what did you want to say before?”. I took a deep breath, (Ein) “Someone set off Isabelle’s camera and then ripped out the picture. I think they either someone else found the poison or Hedgy is trying to make me and you suspect each other!”. I half expected him to show up and make a remark, (Tetsuya) “I see, I’m happy you didn’t just suspect me of keeping the poison!” (Ein) “I’m sure you wouldn’t be that obvious, I told Isabelle you were the one who took the picture. I think if everyone knows about the poison it would make everyone distrustful of each other!”. (Kyoya) “Now for our news, I’m working on a secret trap door!” Huh? I was not expecting something like this to be brought up! (Tetsuya) “I’m sure you noticed that the second floor is a lot bigger than the first one Ein. Well me and Kyoya want to check out the sealed off area of the first floor!”.

(Ein) “I see but what if the host catches you?” (Kyoya) “That’s the thing we are curious to see if they are monitoring that area since it seems pointless to do so”. He was right, I felt a bit nervous about this idea....what if the one in charge is a dangerous killer or something. I looked around the room and there was no camera’s I guess this is why they are telling me all of this. We spent another half hour in the water before leaving, on my way out I noticed Enrique and Yuri nearby. No Ein stop observing everything....I went back to my room to collect my borrowed book so I could swap it at the Library. (Ellie) “Hey Ein...” she looked a bit upset, (Ein) “Hey Ellie, want to help me pick a book?”. She smiled and agreed I remember how we trusted each other at first but then due to how things played out we became distant. I want to try and be friends again....I just felt a little bit of doubt as both Yuga and Aurel were targeted and I had talked to them a bit more.

(Ellie) “Why not try something different like um, 30 Basic Dishes” (Ein) “I guess, it could help me to cook when we get out”. I decided I will put my trust in Kyoya and Tetsuya’s plan to find the host, we went back to our rooms and I read for a little bit! It was time for the usual night meeting and the atmosphere felt a lot more peaceful than usual. I guess we were all beginning to at least accept the every day life aspect of this situation. However I’m sure the host is preparing the next motive for us, this time I won’t try and provoke Hedgy! Part of me wondered though what if the one behind the doll is on this floor with us. Hiding....I started feeling a lot more un easy, I decided to read a bit more before going to bed.

[raigash]

God I want nothing more than to know exactly what preceded this. I would pay actual real live money for a prequel

He’s trying so h a r d 😭

The mercurial the world drifts in and out around him is 👌🏻 top tier

I would also pay real live money to see this from an alistair perspective. He sounds very concerned, through this lens

In reality I would just pay real live money for more Ellis, Morg. 💰

Whumptober 10

A voice wavers in and out of coherence. His fingers are stiff. Something is moving.

Surface tension holds him under. Master exists through the veil.

Ellis tries to open his eyes, and cannot find them.

“-ke up.”

He opens his mouth. Sounds cloud around him. “Mmmm…”

“-ling, you c-”

Pushing lips together, letting them go, breathe out. “Mmmah.” What comes next? “Ssss…”

“-‘s right, got-”

How to make that sharp sound? He skips forwards. “Er…rrr…”

Movement. Why won’t it stop? Everything is blurring.

“Mm…ssst…”

There! The T.

“M’st…rr.”

Did he do it?

The movement stops. Ellis is floating. “Oh…”

Things touch and leave. He smiles. He’s floating.

“-ay awake-”

He lets his head tilt. The colours slide.

Sharp pain. He cries out, and for a brief moment, hears the slur even in that sound.

“Stay awake,” Master repeats.

Order. Follow the order. Follow rules, be good, or people hurt, and hurt, and Ellis hurts, he hit his head on the door frame and Master –

“Mmmstr.”

Something is running down his back, and vanishing. Something follows.

Ellis sighs. “Mhhs…”

There’s more sound, louder.

“-llis!”

Ellis blinks. Everything goes dark. Slowly.

“Mm…s…”

Like the light at the end of the tunnel, driving in reverse, everything pulls away.

[andvys]

stubborn love part 8

warnings: angst, violence

pairing: Ellie Williams x reader 

You woke up to the feeling of soft lips against your neck, a hand gripping your waist, sighing at the feeling you turned around, facing Ellie. 

“good morning.” she whispered, smiling at you. 

“morning babe.” you blushed, thinking back to last night, when you realized you were both naked under the blanket.

Ellie chuckled at how flustered you'd gotten, “you are so cute y/n.” she smiled, pulling you into a hug.

“so are you.” you told her, grinning when she started protesting. 

You pressed a kiss on her neck and laid your head on her chest, enjoying the quiet morning with her.

“so who are you patrolling with today?” Ellie asked, slightly worried that you'd have to go on Patrol with Alicia again. 

“group patrol with Joel.” you replied.

“you finally agreed huh?” she chuckled.

Joel always asked you to join him on the group patrols he was doing, he usually took a few people into the small towns near Jackson, keeping eye out for infected or hunters but he would also let the people check out the old stores there and let them take a few things back.

Group patrols weren't really your thing and you didn't feel comfortable enough, going on patrol with people you barely knew but you finally agreed, you couldn't say no to the poor man any longer, plus you trusted him, so at least he was there.

“yeah I couldn't resist his puppy eyes.” you said making Ellie laugh.

“puppy eyes? this man is anything but a puppy.” she chuckled.

“no.. I'm sure he's a puppy, look at him, he looks warm and fluffy.” 

Ellie laughed even more at your words. 

“You wouldn't say that if you knew him before coming to Jackson.” she said, gripping your waist tighter.

“hmm okay whatever you say.” you sighed. “who are you patrolling with?”

“Jesse. it’s just a short route, I’ll be home before you.” 

You chuckled, “oh so you can start cooking dinner.” you teased knowing how much she hated cooking.

“y/n, I don’t want you to die because of my horrible cooking, I can make you a sandwich though.” she laughed, running her fingers through your hair.

“I'll accept the sandwich.” you smiled, kissing her neck, she squeezed your butt in response, earning a slight groan from you.

You looked up at her, noticing the smirk on her face. 

“we still have some time.” she suggested, leaning down to kiss your lips. 

“hmm, let's make the best out of it then.” you winked at her.

She grinned at you before grabbing your face to kiss you.

-

“hi.” you greeted Joel, who was by the gates with his horse.

“mornin’ kid, how’re you doin’?” he asked, smiling at you.

“i’m good, you?” you smiled at him.

“me too, i’m happy you finally agreed to come with us.”

“yeah it was about time.” you chuckled.

“you can bring back a gift for your girlfriend.” he winked at you before getting on his horse when the rest of the group arrived.

You blushed, you and Ellie never really talked about what you were. It was obvious that you were dating, you just never discussed labels.

“yeah.” you laughed before getting on your horse as well.

-

You were riding side by side with Joel, the other three men who were with you, were riding behind you. 

The air was fresh and you enjoyed the smell of fall, the slightly cold weather gave you a comforting feeling. Fall has always been your favorite season. You loved it when the leaves started turning orange and yellow and you could just wear Ellie’s big hoodies and flannels without having to take them off because it was getting too warm, like in the summer. 

“Ellie never shuts up about you, you know?” Joel said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You looked over at him in surprise, you didn't know that she was talking to Joel about you. 

“don't look so surprised kid.” he chuckled at your facial expression. “she always asked for advice.” 

Furrowing your brows, you asked yourself when she told him about having a crush on you.

“I- since uh when?” you stammered, blushing slightly.

“well she talked about you right from the start.” he said, smiling at you “and you were the only friend of her’s, that she was telling me about.” he pointed out. 

You smiled at that thought, you knew there was a time where she didn't talk much about anything to anyone, so you were surprised to find out that she was talking about you. 

“she loves you y/n, don't ever doubt that. no matter what might've happened between the two of you before that.” he told you, giving you a reassuring smile.

You smiled back at him, appreciating the way he was talking to you. Ellie was basically his daughter, so this conversation could've gone way differently, he could've been stern about it but he was nice and supporting. 

-

Once you'd gotten to the small town, everyone went into opposite directions. This place was relatively safe since groups would come back here all the time to clear off any infected so you didn't have to worry about running into a small herd or anything. 

You've never been here but you knew that Ellie came here with Joel occasionally. She probably got you that flannel from one of the old stores here. You were surprised to see that the houses and stores here weren't as run down like they were in other places.

You walked into a store that seemed to look like an old gaming store or something of that sort, you looked around and saw that most of the shelves were still full. If this was a gun store, you would've never found the shelves being full. 

You looked through the games and found one that Ellie and Jesse have been talking about a few days ago, you put it in your backpack, along with a few comics. 

You kept going through all the other stores, putting some stuff in your backpack that you could find useful later for whenever you had to go out on patrol. 

You heard footsteps behind you when you were about to walk into an old music store, turning around you saw Joel heading your way, some blood splattered on his clothes. You furrowed your brows and looked at him in concern.

“what happened?” you asked, eying the blood.

“a couple of infected made it into one of the old buildings, no big deal.” he told you. “you found anything kid?” he asked.

“I haven't found any infected. no.” you answered, causing him to chuckle.

“I meant, you found anything for yourself?” he smiled.

“oh!” you laughed “yeah, some things for Ellie and uh some knifes?” you chuckled. 

“and here I thought you'd go and find yourself some pretty things.” he chuckled, shaking his head. 

“..well, I get Ellie a bracelet.” you shrugged, feeling a little flustered. 

You've never been in a relationship before so it was new to you to show affection for your girlfriend in front of others.

“that’s nice kid, you should get yourself something too.” he said, squeezing your shoulder before he walked past you. 

“yeah..” 

-

Ellie just got back home from patrol with Jesse and parted ways with him to go home. Right when she was about to get the keys out of her backpack she noticed that her door was open. 

Furrowing her brows, she looked around in confusion, she could've sworn that she closed it when she left this morning and she knew you weren't back yet and even if you would've never left the door open.

Pushing it open slowly, she wasn't expecting someone to stand there. Especially not her.

“what the hell are you doing here?!” she grumbled, throwing the door open, she walked inside. 

Alicia turned around and chuckled, holding Ellie’s journal in her right hand while her left hand held a polaroid picture of you.

“I love her so much, no wait, I am in love with her. she is the most beautiful girl that I’ve ever seen in my life, she’s like the sunshine after the rain, anytime I'm with her, I forget about every worry that I have. I wish I could just tell her how much I love her.” Alicia read from Ellie’s diary. “blah blah blah.” 

“You really are pathetic Ellie. You loved her so much and yet you were with other’s all the time, that doesn't seem like love to me.” she said, glaring at Ellie. “you don't deserve her.” 

Anger poured through Ellie at her sight of her and her words. “and you deserve her?” she scoffed.

“yeah, I’d be much better for her. I could actually treat her right.” she shrugged, smirking at Ellie. 

“yeah right, you fucking crazy bitch could treat her right?” Ellie laughed, causing Alicia to clench her jaw at her words.

“you are so fucking stupid, you don't even get that she never liked you do you? As I have told you before, you were a distraction and now you won’t even get the hint that she wants nothing to do with you.” Ellie said, shaking her head.

“shut up.” Alicia mumbled, gripping the journal tightly in her hand.

“she loves me and if you think that she would leave me for you then you're even dumber than I thought.” Ellie told her as she was feeling the anger building up in her. 

“she doesn’t have to leave you if you're gonna be dead.” Alicia said through gritted teeth, throwing the journal on the table next to her, she pulled a knife out of her pocket.

Ellie looked at her in disbelief, was she really gonna kill her and think that you would date her after killing Ellie?

-

“You and Ellie should come over for dinner this weekend.” Joel said, smiling at you. 

“that would be nice!” you smiled up at him “I could attempt to bake something.” you suggested, scrunching up your face, when you thought about the first time you tried baking and almost burned down the kitchen.

Joel chuckled and patted your shoulder “don't worry about it, I remember the story about the cake.” 

“don’t reming me, that’s kinda embarrassing.” you laughed. “but hey, I can still try, you’re never supposed to give up right?” 

“that’s right, kid.” he smiled at you “alright, well you and Ellie have a nice night yeah?” he said, pulling you into a hug. 

“you too Joel.” you smiled, hugging him back before you pulled away and went over to Ellie’s house.

As you came closer, you heard the sound of glass smashing, startled you ran towards the door, noticing that it was wide open. 

You ran inside, finding Alicia choking Ellie on the floor, both were covered in blood, the room was a mess, broken glass was laying on the floor, along with a broken table. 

Alicia was about pick up a piece of broken glass, presumably to try and kill Ellie but you ran over to her and send a hard kick to her face, knocking her off. Ellie gasped out for air weakly, you pulled her up into a sitting position, noticing all the blood that was running down her cheek from a cut, she looked like she was beginning to fall unconscious.

You turned around quickly when Ellie looked behind you, barely keeping her eyes open, to see Alicia getting up with an angry expression on her face. “y/n..” she mumbled.

Rage filled you at the thought that she tried to kill Ellie, you got up and pulled your backpack off throwing it to the side. 

Alicia looked at you, “you have to understand y/n-

“shut up!” you yelled at her, as you pulled your gun out of your holster and pointed it at her, causing her to gasp at your action, clearly not expecting it. 

She looked like a mad woman, with her long hair in front of her face, blood dripping down from her nose, she looked way worse than Ellie but it didn't matter, she almost killed her.

“you don’t get to come here and touch what’s mine.” you grunted at her, as you put your finger on the trigger.

She clenched her jaw at your words and put her hands into fists “you never gonna love me will you?” 

“you expect me to love you? especially after this?” you scoffed at her, shaking your head.

She let out a grunt before she emerged towards you, startling you. You pulled the trigger, the shot went off but she managed to push your hand away at the last second, dodging the bullet that went straight into the wall. 

She smashed the gun out of your hand and grabbed your shoulders, throwing you against the wall. 

Right when she was about to punch you in the face, you dodged her fist and threw a punch at her instead making her stumble back in pain, you grabbed the glass that was standing on the kitchen counter and smashed it against her face, breaking it in the process. She let out a yelp and touched her face, grunting at the pain. You could feel the broken glass, piercing your skin open but you didn’t care at the moment. 

You started running towards your gun but she recovered already and grabbed your hair, pulling you back, before you could react, she threw a punch at your face and let you fall to the ground. 

“..fuck.” you muttered, crawling away as you saw her walking towards you, you quickly turned around and started to get up but she grabbed you from behind and threw you against the dresser, you tried to catch yourself but it was too late, your head smashed against it, you didn't even register the pain at first but then you felt warm blood running down your face, you could hear a loud ringing in your ears and you began feeling lightheaded, you fell to the side as your vision began to blur. 

You could hear footsteps coming closer to you, you tried to keep your eyes open and to move but you were unable to do anything. 

“this is all your fault y/n.” 

her voice sounded so close and yet so far away as you started to black out. 

the last thing that you heard was a gunshot before you fell unconscious. 

[retroellie]

Random Ellie headcannons

WanSummary: Just some happy ellie headcannons to get you through your week

A/N: i made these really quick so plz excuse the messiness <3

Warnings: None

Word count: 710

-Ellie had a huge soft spot for you

-Ever since the day y'all met you had her wrapped around her finger

-You were too good to be true for her

-You guys snuck out of jackson a lot to go on little dates with each other

-The lake was y'alls favorite place to go especially in the summer

-You both would strip down to your underwear and sometimes if y'all were getting a little....dirty, you would just take it all off

-You were the one to cut ellie's hair for the first time and ellie feared her life that day

-"You're cutting too much off the top!"

-"Do you wanna look like Joan Jett or not?"

-She ended up liking it but she went to someone who actually knew what they were doing from that day on

-We all know ellie likes video games and she could probably spend days playing them if it weren't for you

-When you get lonely and want attention from ellie when she's playing video games, she allows you to sit in her lap while she plays

-She always tells you, your her good luck charm

-I've said this before and i'll say it again but ellie always brings something back to you while on her rounds

-To list a few items she's brought you back a fuzzy blanket, a david bowie poster, a book on poems, all of the friday the 13th's, and a candle that smells like pumpkin spice

-That's just a few by the way, your room is filled with stuff she gave you

-You like to read her poems you like even though she has no idea what they are saying because of the old language they use

-She never understands them but one time you read her a poem that said

-“Sweet mother, I cannot weave –

slender Aphrodite has overcome me

with longing for a girl.”

-Ellie remembered this quote simply because it's what it felt to fall in love with you

-So many nights have been spent with you two talking about random late night thoughts you have

-"What would you be doing right now if you were in the old world?"

-"Hopefully in bed with you while we talk about our day at work."

-"Where would we work?"

-"You would be an artist and I would be a writer, or maybe a movie maker."

-"Could you imagine my artwork in a museum and underneath it has a golden plaque that says "Ellie williams.""

-"what would the painting be of?"

-"You."

-When something was wrong with you, let's say you've been sad lately, ellie always knows

-There's always a slight change in you

-She would always do something nice for you, like one time she found an old shed and decorated it with all kinds of lights

-It was always something sweet like that with ellie, she would always be able to make you smile

-You worked in the garden a lot and ellie would always walk over there when you were on your lunch break

-Y'all would walk down to your spot which was underneath a big oak tree in the middle of jackson and eat whatever ellie made for y'all

-You would watch the city in action, the kids coming home from school, the cowboys on their horses, the teenage lovers sneaking out of school and the old married couples getting some fresh air

-After that ellie would walk you back to work, hand in hand

-Joel invited you over for dinner a lot and you weren't complaining, you loved his cooking

-Joel and Esther loved having you two over

-You and ellie baked a lot together, it would always end up a mess but y'all made some pretty good things

-You were the person that ellie smoked her first joint with, she had a whole panic attack but you were there the entire time

-You,ellie,dina and jessie went on double dates, they basically were just y'all hanging out with each other at someone's house

-You and ellie weren't really any to pda but holding hands or touching each other in some way was something y'all did a lot

-Y'all were the cutest couple in jackson like people wished they were y'all

[loverofallthingssarah]

If Flames Could Talk

Part 3

Ellie Staple x Reaper

WARNING: nothing in this chapter

Word Count: 900 +

Part 1 Part 2

A/N: U pdates may be sporadic & sorry if there are errors I’m shit at proofreading my own writing cause I read it how I meant to write it ☹️

A couple of weeks have passed working with Dr. Staple; nothing much has changed in the short amount of time you’ve talked. You keep pushing her for answers, and she keeps telling you it takes time. Time is a luxury you just couldn’t afford. But Dr. staple didn’t seem to understand how much you needed to remember that night. Anything piece to the puzzle that could prove your innocence that could be your alibi.

With each session working together, Ellie would extend the time. You started with one hour sessions, and we’re currently with her for two hours every day. Working on what you felt was completely useless things. You hated sitting there answered and discussing your life’s “trauma” this wasn’t some afterschool special. This was your life. This attitude you were portraying in the halls of Allentown Hospital wasn’t you, you weren’t this dark and melancholy, but you hated it here with your whole fucking chest.

“Alright, Y/n, today I think we are going…,” all you hear is dribble drabble of what she has planned for today, but you’re not in the mood for any introspection bullshit today. Dr. Staple always went on and on about how you should take a step back and look into how you process, but there was no time for that today. It wasn’t helping to pull anything from your memory loss, and to be honest, you couldn’t be bothered with it today. You just wanted fuck around a bit.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“I… um… what?” Ellie cocks her head to the side, clearly confused by your outburst. Since the beginning of your sessions, you barely spoke, and when you did, it was short and concise. No more, no less. Most of the time, she was met with dirty looks and burning eyes filled with disdain. “What’s your favorite color?”

“It’s powder blue, but I don’t see how this has anything to do with-” you cut Dr. Staple off, “My favorite color is a mix between a lilac or a soft yellow. Which really isn’t all interesting, so let’s get down to the nitty gritty. What’s your first name?”

Shock pours from every beautiful line on Ellie’s face. She quickly recovers to her ever neutral facial expressions, “What are you doing, Y/n?”

“I want to know your name,” she looks you dead in the eye, “why?”

You smirk before you reply, “I thought we needed to build trust between us, Dr. Staple,” your voice rises when you say her name, “and how could I ever possibly trust you enough to really open up and commit to any of your psychoanalysis bullshit? Plus, it’s not like your name is some top secret information.”

“It’s Ellie.”

Ellie, such a gorgeous name, meaning bright shining light. It fits such a person as Ellie. She always wanted to find a spin on how anything can be seen in such a positive way. You being here was a way to gain insight into your life; this is what she would always tell you. Not only her outlook as a psychiatrist was bright but also her demeanor. Her hair, her eyes…

“I like that name, so Ellie, how’d you know you were gay?”

Ellie felt a tingle when she heard her name escape your lips, “What? First of all, I think you shouldn’t be calling me Ellie. Call me Dr. Staple. Second of all, why are you asking me that? How can you just assume I’m gay?”

“I can tell. Most gays have gaydar. Mine just happens to be excellent. So, again Ellie,” you said her name in a singsong voice, “how did you know?” Ellie didn’t respond and just stared at you in surprise, “Well, I’ll go first. I realized in middle school when I had a crush on my 6th grade science teacher. I didn’t really know what it was at first, but then it just kind of hit me. I kept it hidden for the longest time because, well, society sucks, as you already know.”

You give her a look to tell her it’s her time to share, she starts to stutter, “Um… I…,” she knows how inappropriate it is to share her personal stories with you, but there’s something about you that she can’t deny, “I was in college, and I had this roommate. She was unlike anyone I had ever met before. We both just fell hard for each other, but it just didn’t work out. We both wanted different things. Which is probably way more than I should have shared, Y/n we should really get back too-,” you found yourself wanting to get to know her better. Wanting to ask her as many questions as you could possibly think of, but you knew where this was heading, and you just couldn’t let that happen. You couldn’t fall for her. She’s your doctor and the only ticket out of this hell hole you were not going to screw that up.

“I’m done for today,” you look away from Ellie.

“Y/n, our session isn’t finished-,” you cut her off yet again, “I’m done for today. You told me if I wasn't comfortable with continuing at any time, we could cut a session short. I would like to go back to my room, now!”

“O-okay,” Ellie reaches for the phone on her desk to call your nurse to escort you back to your room. While you’re waiting for her to return, you avoid any kind of eye contact with Ellie.

Once your nurse arrives, you scurry out of her office and make your trek back to your bubble.

While Ellie sits there and wonders where this session went wrong. She knew she shouldn’t have opened up like that to you. It was appropriate and not to mention unethical. She knew this wasn’t good because she knew what these feelings were. She knew she was developing feelings for you.

sfw taglist: @orchid-fairy @rainbow-hedgehog @twistedpoeticjustice @dreamer-queen @kais-rose-garden @magnificent-paulsonn @mrsdeanhoward @citizenoftheworld-stuff-blog @commanderspeach @in-cordelias-coven @lntlmate

[lovehugsandcandy]

just close enough (Logan x MC, RoD)

A/N: I am sorry, I have been very out of touch. I apologize for not responding to tags and chats. Things haven’t been great and I am surprised that I have anything for rodaw. Please keep tagging me on your stuff!

Pairing: Logan x MC, ROD

Length: ~1700 words

Rating/Warnings: N*FW (sorry, in rereading this, yeah, you probably shouldn’t read this at work)

Summary: Distance can be measured in miles and inches, and none of it is too far for Logan to travel.

.

He’s almost asleep, sliding into the hazy space between full alertness (how he spends every waking moment) and complete unconsciousness (where any dream he regretfully remembers is from a past best totally forgotten). The couch cushions are rough along his spine, spring digging into a shoulder blade, but he’s slept in worse places. He’s almost blessedly asleep, darkness warm and welcoming and-

“Logan?”

His eyes fly open and he jolts up, instantly awake. The room is in shadows, light of the moon filtering through the LA smog, bathing his surroundings in a sleepy glow. He turns his head; other than the call of his name, the loft is quiet, still. With a lifetime spent attuned for threats, he can sense that the calm in the air signals safety.

“Logan?” she slurs again, voice tinged with sleep.

“Yeah?”

“Come here.”

He blinks, squinting over at the lump under his sheets. “What?”

“You’re too far away. Come here.”

God, he wants that, more than anything. In the daylight, when the corners of the shop gleam sharp and lethal, he knows it is too dangerous to get close. That distance is the one thing that will save her from mistakes he has spent a lifetime making and atoning for. But here, in the stillness of night, when the scratching fabric chafes his back and the siren in his bed calls, he feels his resolve weaken, scattering in shards to the floorboards to join the dust and grime underneath.

He pads over, the rhythm of his footsteps matching the soft sigh of her breath, and cautiously perches on the mattress, giving her a beat to reconsider before he swings his legs over and slides under the covers. She is soft and warm, coconut and sunshine next to his grease and oil, and she rolls over to edge soft on his side.

“Close enough?” he asks into the curls pillowing over his shoulder.

“Mmh… almost.” 

He chuckles as he catalogues the space between them, an inch where her waist curves concave from his, a rumpled barrier of fabric where her feet are entangled. They could barely be closer, but somehow, he still agrees with Ellie. 

The smile is still on his face as he drifts off into a contented sleep.

~~~~~

He’s not used to being in the passenger seat. 

The view is different here, shifted, the rows of parked cars tilted and angled askew, but he sat relaxed, legs splayed and hair catching the wind the entire way. It’s a testament to her driving; she’s brilliant behind the wheel, beaming with every acceleration, leaning into every curve, and he can tell - she finds the call of the road freeing, just like he does. She’s come a long way from the shy bookworm whose path he stepped in front of. It’s barely been a few weeks, but it feels like forever.

He wishes it could go on forever.

He inhales harshly through his nose, recalling the day they met, the hushed conversations that preceded it. She deserves to know the truth and here, parked in this lot waiting on a disconcertingly mysterious job, seems like the perfect place to tell her.

But before he can find the words, she turns, fixing him with a devious smirk.

“Come here.” Her finger beckons and, just past it, a devious smirk glows in the multicolor shades alight from the dash. 

“What do you…”

“Come here. You’re too far away.”

He leans forward, and the center console digs into his ribs. It doesn’t matter, not when she tugs on a strand of hair to pull him closer, so close he can map the lines of her smile with an intensity usually saved for fuel intake lines and racetracks. “Better?”

“Nope.”

He inches forward. “How about now?”

“Nope.” Her voice is teasing, soft, a whisper of air against his lips, the tingling of excitement before the fall.

He’s completely in her space, so close he can’t see beyond the dark of her eyes, the apples of her cheeks. There is no world beyond the girl in the driver’s seat. “Now?”

“... almost.” She breathes the response into his mouth as their lips finally meet; he realizes with a start that he will never be closer to anyone, here in this stadium parking lot, with his hands tangled in her hair and poisonous secrets in his heart.

Even when they are close as can be, he still feels the distance.

~~~~~

Logan’s just catching his breath, skating a shaking palm over her side. “Are you ready?” The words make him pause.

“No.” He blinks at her as she rests against the pillow in Vaughn’s spare bedroom, hair spilling down against the pillow; the strands curl around his finger as he absentmindedly runs his fingers in a tense pattern. He could never be ready for this, to see the one person he ever trusted, the one person he ever loved, race for their freedom on a pitch-black highway.

“We don’t really have a choice.”

“I know.” 

“Logan, we need to do this.” She props herself up on her elbow, and his heart falls.

“I know. I just… I hate the thought of not being with you, not being able to protect you.” 

She blinks down at him, and his fingers reach up to tangle in one graceful coil of hair strands soft on the pads on his fingers. “You know I can drive.”

“Of course, Troublemaker, I’ve seen you drive. I just… I don’t want you to be in danger. I hate that you’re going to be out there where I can’t help you.”

“I’ll be too far away?”

“Yeah.” For as close at they are now, where he can catalogue the distance between them (millimeters between his shoulder and hers, three inches between their lips, and no distance at all where his cock is just stirring, again, into the soft skin of her stomach), he knows that the waiting, the space on the highway --- it will wreck him.

She smiles, faintly, distantly, her eyes echoing his own pain. “I’m here right now.”

“You are.” He spins, hand on her hip pushing until he is over her, legs intertwined, fingertips around her waist, every inch of them aligned and in sync. “And I’m going to make the most of it.”

~~~~~

You’re too far away.

The words are high in the wind and he whips his head around frantically, as memories collide with the storm brewing outside. The first flake is a shock, pelting his forehead in an icy portent and, mere seconds later, the grey clouds above part in a mass of ice and slush.

It never snowed in LA.

Logan cranes his neck up to feel the full brunt of the storm hammer his face, each frosty blast a jolting reminder of how far he traveled from the last few months, the distance between him and his old stomping ground washed away as the frozen water melts over his face, droplets pouring down his brow and drenching his hair.

His face is frozen when he steps back into the shop, some run-down shithole he found in inner-city Detroit. Here, locals don’t ask questions, and there are no reminders of the mentor who was almost like a father and the girl who was almost like forever.

This time, they are miles and days and utter lives apart, and he worries that nothing on the earth will bring them together again.

~~~~~

The years flow like molasses. Fall edges into winter, which thaws into spring and heats into summer, and then it starts all over again, punishing, never ending.

The cities stack up almost as easily. After Detroit, it’s Miami, then Houston, a long stretch in Nashville before Milwaukee calls and then, finally, to the East Coast. He stops for a spell in DC, walking through shaded paths as the cherry blossoms sway above him. The pink defies imagination. He’s used to vehicle-grade candy paint, each car brighter and more audacious than the last, a parade of vibrant neons and sultry veneers that spin rainbows around tracks. 

This pink is soft, petals even softer against his fingertips, and Logan feels an irrational stab of guilt for the calluses that dare grace the blossoms swaying in the wind. His dark past makes him unworthy to touch such beauty and, as he watches the petals flutter to the ground, he thinks of another beauty that slipped through his fingers.

He stays for a few months, enough to learn the grid of southeast DC and the bisecting avenues, but then spring tiptoes into summer. He’s used to the sun but the goddamn humidity makes his hair pouf into patterns he knows gentle fingers would soothe, so he heads north.

It’s a quick drive, the four lanes of 95 providing ample room to swerve and fly; he imagines another car with another driver speeding down these roads.

Finally, the wheels lead him to New York, where he trembles on a doorstep under flickering lights in this apartment building, fighting up five floors where every step made him want to vomit.

He breathes through his nose. He didn’t come all this way (trans versing the United States, multiple times, him and the Devore burning miles and gas but subsisting on memories and love) for nothing. His fingers shake and he rings the doorbell.

When it opens, she looks just as she does in his memory, eyes warm and bright, smile breaking out over the apples of her cheeks. His heart leaps.

“Logan?”

“Hi,” he breathes. He had been unsure of his reception but now, with her blinking up serenely at him, the years fade away and he’s brought back to the moment in front of her fathers house, watching the tears pool in her eyes and wishing futility on every star that life could be different.

They move at the same time; she jumps forward, and he pulls her in and their lips meet as if no time had passed, as if they had never been apart, as if distance were meaningless in the troublemaker's face who stole his heart.

 “Close enough now?” He beams at her, smile so wide it hurts, cheeks pinching unfamiliarly, and he never wants to leave her side.

Her answering smile shines brighter than any shooting star he’s seen, and he knows he is right where he needs to be. “Finally.”

.

Tags:

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ROD

@omgjasminesimone, @mskaneko, @alyssalauren