#I RAISED YOU (she thinks my mom put in 0 effort)

[pokeybananas]

I love it when my dad (who has no boundaries and never really taught me to have any) is like, oh, yeah, go up to the Christmas thing with your stepmom, just her and you, who he hoped you could talk to, on a 3 HOUR LONG CAR RIDE AFTER YOU JUST EXPLICITLY TOLD HIM THAT WAS A BOUNDARY YOU AND YOUR THERAPIST SET

[thefifthsister-notactive]

Laser Wars, volume 1

Post Series

She’d known the man for a long time, over a decade now, and she could not recall one single moment in which he looked more like a nine year old. He practically bounced around the loft and, considering he’d been complaining about the ache in his knee the night before, she knew she was going to have to calm him.

Lily had been asking all week when he would start playing laser tag with her, having heard stories from her father and sister of the war they waged for the galaxy as Alexis grew up. As soon as Alexis had been old enough to fire a weapon, they’d begun their decades long battle for the galaxy. Even now, having left home, and he and Kate with three kids to raise, they still did battle on occasion. 

Kate had been dragged into battle on more than a few occasions, including one time Alexis had challenged her and then teased her Dad that Kate had offered up a greater challenge. Now Lily was starting to ask to play and Castle had reverted back to that nine year old she’d accused him of being. She knew it was a sacred pastime between father and daughter and now he was going to start Lily on her path to saving the galaxy.

Alexis had offered her suit to Lily as soon she was able to fit it with the straps the shortest they could make them but he’d looked into family suits, because of course he was thinking ahead to when Jake and Reece would want to play when they were old enough. He wanted Lily to be able to play with Alexis when they had sister days. Have family battles on holidays which meant Kate finally having her own suit too. She couldn’t deny him doting on them and Laser tag made him very happy. It was cute.

She sat at the kitchen island, her boys in booster seats either side of her as she helped them with their snack before she took them out to the park for a couple of hours, Lily racing off to find her Dad for their daddy-daughter playdate. Since she’d woken this morning she’d asked him to show her how to play so they could play with Alexis tomorrow when she came over for brunch. Kate had nudged him, though it didn’t take much effort, for the playdate and she would take the boys out for some Mommy-sons time.

Lily shot out of the office, vest strapped to her chest and a grin across her face. She ran to show it off to her Mom. There was no denying their daughter was a Castle, despite how many people told them she was a mini-Beckett. 

“Daddy’s gonna show me,” she told Kate. “Will you watch Mommy?”

“For a little while. When your brothers are finished eating and cleaned up we’re gonna leave you and Daddy to play,” Kate told her, climbing out of her seat and lifting Lily into it so she could adjust the strap that was hanging off her shoulder a little.

She looked adorable and she was so excited. 

Castle left his office, his vest and goggles in place. “Okay Lilypad, ready?” he asked as he reached his daughter, both of them brimming with energy. “You hold this.” He handed her the gun and hooked it to her vest. “You hold this and put your hands here and when you’re ready and think you can shoot me, you press this button,” he made sure her little finger was on it and together they pushed until his suit flashed. “Ah! You got me,” he told her, watching her grin. 

After demonstrating how the vests worked and Kate taking a photo of the two of them together, he lifted Lily down and explained the rest of the rules. 

“Just like when we play hide and seek, okay?” he said as the both made their ways to either side of the sofa. 

“I hide and jump out to shoots you?” Lily checked.

“Exactly,” Castle told her, watching as Lily tried to peer over the sofa at him as he ducked into his office, hiding behind the bookcase. 

“On the count of three,” Castle told her and laughed as Lily ducked down.

She turned to look at her mother, raising a finger to her lips as she giggled and Kate smiled. She looked at her sons who were very quiet, the two of them staring in fascination at the lights coming from their sisters outfit. “The three of you can gang up on Daddy one day,” she told them, wiping the pieces of biscuit from their gaping mouths, their snack forgotten.

“I heard that!” Castle yelled, starting his countdown.

She watched as her daughter tried to crawl along the floor and her husband tried to peer through the books, inching his way out. Lily disappeared around the end of the sofa and they both heard a thud.

“Daddy, I fall!” Lily called.

Castle hot footed it around the chair and that’s when their daughter pounced, jumping up with her blaster and shooting his vest.

She cheered, jumping up and down while he stood flabbergasted and Kate tried to hold herself up, pride exploding in her chest after witnessing her daughter get one over on Castle.

“I gots you Daddy!”

“Did you put her up to that?” Castle accused his wife.

“Me?” Kate asked. “I had no idea she was going to do that.”

The boys were now clambering to get out of their seats, the momentary distraction over and wanting in on the games. “I’m going to get my shoes and jacket and then we’re heading out.”

Lily came running to her mother. “I sneaked on Daddy.”

“I saw little flower,” Kate pressed a kiss to her head. “You have fun beating Daddy while I’m out, okay?”

“That’s got you written all over it,” Castle complained. 

“Ah, but you forget,” Kate shook her head, coming over to wrap her arms around his waist and sooth him a little. “I am not the master. There is another.”

She saw the moment the light bulb went off. The moment he realised that his eldest had already begun to pass on her years of battle tactics to her sister. 

“First of all, you can’t make Star Wars references like that and leave. Second, Lily is spending way too much time with Alexis.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “You love it.”

Castle grinned, kissing Kate as she let go and headed for their room, turning to see Castle sweep Lily up and tickle her. “Very sneaky, little Padawan. You get the first point. Let’s close the curtains a little when Mommy leaves and we’ll go again. You need to help me get your sister back tomorrow, Lily.”

Kate pulled her phone from her pocket, opening a new text to Alexis.

Lily 1 Dad 0

[ak8shi]

Kuroo + Iwaizumi: HQ boys as workout instructors series

Suga + Bokuto ver.

warnings: light swearing!!

Kuroo Tetsurou

Your friend somehow convinces you to go to a kickboxing class, bribing you with ice cream afterwards

You: …what do you mean I have to leave my bed

Honestly you’re scared because you’re out of shape and definitely nothing close to a regular at the gym

You arrive at the gym with your friend, and you enter the kickboxing room

There’s around 15 people in the class, but the instructor hasn’t arrive yet

You stretch with your friend, mentally preparing yourself to absolutely die LMAO

Around five minutes before the class begins, this tall guy walks in with a duffel bag

To put it simply, HE WAS BEAUTIFUL,, and you definitely weren’t the only one looking

As he puts his things down in the corner, you can see his back muscles flexing under his tight black shirt he just hits so different in all black I’m about to bark

He takes out his boxing tape, wrapping his hands in it, and then he introduces himself,,,

“Hi everyone, welcome to beginning kickboxing! My name is Kuroo, and I’m going to be helping everyone with drills throughout the class. Let me know if you need anything before we begin.”

Let’s be honest, Kuroo’s workout playlist BANGS,, he’s a big fan of Roddy Ricch, J.Cole, Nicki, Kendrick, Meg, and Travis

You, praying: can I not embarrass myself in front of this man thanks !

He puts the music on, instructing everyone through a warm-up from the front of the studio

Kuroo is such a great teacher, and he somehow makes it so fun and engaging, king shit!!

Ugh he has such great energy and gets everyone encouraged and pumped up, he’s also SO smiley and approachable

After the warm up, everyone slips on their gloves with ease, ofc,,, except for you

Dear god he’s about to start and you’re not ready

Your friend isn’t helping you, she wants you to ask for help LMAOOO

You finally suck it up and raise your hand, and he walks over to you

Kuroo: hey can I help you out with that?

You: WHY IS HE SO HOT?? AND RESPECTFUL????

He carefully helps you get the gloves onto your hands, making sure you’re comfy before jogging back up to the front of the classroom you blacked out for a few minutes

He takes everyone through the movements, starting basic with how to hit the bag, posture, and form

Kuroo eventually gives everyone drills to do, and he walks around the room to see if anyone needs assistance

You’re trying your best and really getting into it, until he walks around and gives you a cute smile and a thumbs up please how am I supposed to focus on not dying when you’re like this sir

Your friend is nudging you,,,

“dude he’s totally into you, I’ve taken classes with him before and he doesn’t do that to just anyone”

Your stomach is erupting in butterflies at her words or maybe you’re trying not to yak, but you’re trying not to get your hopes up

The class is coming to an end, and it somehow went by so fast?? Maybe because you spent half of it staring at Kuroo’s arms as he hits the punching bag

You are super sweaty but the workout was refreshing and you definitely want to try kickboxing again ,,, especially if Kuroo is the instructor

He gets the attention of the class after going through a cool-down routine

“Thank you so much for being amazing everyone! I hope to see some of you in my intermediate level classes, or just around the gym in general, don’t be a stranger!”

You start to pack up your things, everyone else besides your friend and Kuroo having left the room

Your friend suddenly: bye! It was so nice meeting you today sis! Text me when you get home!

SHE LEFT YOU I-

You’re confused for a second since she literally drove you to the gym, but before you can say anything someone is tapping your shoulder

You turn around,,,shaking in your boots,,,, Kuroo is standing there with his bag slung around his shoulder, wiping his face with a towel

He looks so good sweaty please

Him: hey, was this your first session? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in any of my classes… I definitely would’ve remembered you ;) we all know he practiced this in his head for the entirety of the class because he’s a DORK in actuality

Bro all you can do is squeak out a “yes”

He asks for your number, and offers to train you personally at the gym,, HOT

You walk out of the building a blushing mess, and then you see your friend sitting outside in her car LMAO

Her, as you get in the passenger seat: so,, did you secure the bag

You: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME

Her: I did what I had to do get you a friend

Iwaizumi Hajime

So you’re a regular at the gym, but you haven’t really tried any of the classes offered through your membership

You sign up for a spin class that takes place every Wednesday morning, thinking it would be nice to get a workout in before work

It was not

You had to wake up at 5 am to eat something and get dressed for the class, and you find yourself dragging yourself into the locker rooms to put your things away

With sleep still evident in your features, you go to sit at one of the spin machines, resting your head on the handle waiting for impending doom

A guy walks in rocking an all-white and grey fit and puts his things down next to you, but you don’t really pay attention to him or make an effort to look at him properly

Everyone slowly trickles into the spin room, chatting amongst themselves and you’re not really sure how anyone is functioning this early

Then,, the dude next to you stands up and turns around, speaking into his head set

“Good morning everyone, welcome to intermediate spin, my name is Iwaizumi and I will be your instructor! Please be ready to go in five minutes,”

You didn’t even realize you sat next to the instructor seat lmao, and you’re stunned by how nice the man’s voice is!!! Not only did he have a nice voice, but you also overlooked him as an instructor because he was so young looking

So once everyone is ready to go, he hops onto the bike next to you

His playlist consists of Bad Bunny, electronic, and a lot of RnB the taste jumped out

As you start the machine and it shows the route that the bike is supposed to take, Iwa starts talking about the goal of the workout and the motivation its going to take to finish

We love a professional !!!

The class is hard; mostly because it’s your first time but you make it through thanks to Iwaizumi’s skilled teaching style, and the way he doesn’t leave anyone behind even if they are struggling

It also helped that he was next to you most of the session you could see every droplet of sweat on his beautiful face and tanned arms

You feel great after every session, feeling like you’re accomplishing something, and you get to see your little crush every Wednesday

It definitely makes it easier to get out of bed in the morning

You make small talk with Iwa since he’s right next to you, and slowly it progresses into a really nice friendship

You help him set-up and clean-up the room before and after class, and he brings you coffee in return (he knows your order by heart🥰)

Him: good morning

You: fuck off loser👹

Him: I brought you coffee

You: ☺️hey Iwa

He’s honestly so great at his job, and he tells you that he got into cycling because of the side-training he did for volleyball

One session near the end of the cycling classes, you were having a rough time and in a bad mood because of work, and Iwa lowkey helped you work through it within that one workout session and you felt so much better by the end of it how does he do it

You, dying: Iwa I can’t go on

Him: You fucking panini head who said you were allowed to stop

The forty year old soccer mom on the other side of him: Iwa I can’t go on

Him: You’re doing amazing sweetie! Don’t hurt yourself, you got this!😘

…t-that’s when you realize you have feelings for him, but you’re not really sure how to go about telling him

You stress over it for the next week, and in no time you find yourself walking into your last class with Iwa as your instructor sad girl hours

You had bought him a sweatband as a joke and embroidered his initials on it, and you were planning on giving it to him at the end of class

He greets you the same as usual, and then turns and thanks everyone for sticking with the class

The session is amazing of course, but you’re feeling such a mix of emotions as the seconds on your machine dwindle down to 0:00

A few people come up to Iwa to thank him, and you purposely pack up your things and stretch super slowly

Finally, you are the only two people left in the room

He finishes cleaning off the seats, and then he turns to you as you’re turning the machines off,

His steel eyes are boring into you, and he’s cracking his knuckles nervously

“h-hey, would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?”

NOT WHAT YOU WERE EXPECTING-

You blush,, but in the best way possible;

You reach over to pinch his rosy cheek, obviously saying yes

You reach into your bag and throw the sweatband at him

He catches it, laughing as he admires the stitchwork on it

Him, knowing you embroidered it yourself: omg aw did Helen Keller stitch this?😍

You: for personal reasons I will be revoking my agreement to go on any kind of date with you

Before you leave the gym with your fresh coffee, you give him a kiss on the cheek and he literally can not stop thinking about how crazy he is about you !!

[miniteaset]

Settling in

The Periwinkle and Eilian Saga Part 2

Hello again! This part has less of a focus on g/t, instead I wanted to spend the time fleshing out Eilian a bit more before him and Peri met :0 I hope you enjoy, and the next chapter will definitely focus on their meeting.

Eilian didn’t quite know how he felt about his new home.

It had been his aunt’s old place before they moved closer to the city, and for good reason too: this place was in the middle of nowhere and needed a lot of work done. It wasn’t much besides a small two-bedroom cabin next to a lake, but it wasn’t like he needed much. It would just be him and Darcy after all, however he didn’t know when his sister was coming with her. She said she’d be there the day after she moved in, but noon had come and gone and he’d seen no sign of her as he continued to unpack.

It was a bit of a hassle, carting boxes from one room to another with only one leg to stand on. Last night he’d dedicated his entire evening to pushing the mattress inside and onto the bed one shove-and-hop at a time.

He fell asleep in it before he could put any sheets on.

He’d been doing the rest of the furniture the same way, probably leaving an endless amount of scratches on the hardwood floors. Oh well, this house was a fixer-upper anyways. He was lucky to even get it at the price he did, it had been off the market for a year and his aunt had only agreed to sell it to him because he needed a place to stay. He remembered his aunt telling him to look for an old toy that his cousin had left, a doll or something, but after looking in each room he hadn’t found anything resembling a toy.

He had found a few strange things, however.

Yesterday when he’d moved in he found woodchips in the closet, and he figured that the wood beams above the closet were starting to chip and flake off. He’d have to deal with that somehow. And this morning he’d noticed a hole in the ceiling, right in the corner of the living room. It probably led up to the attic, but like hell he was gonna try to climb a ladder to go up and fix it. He was still trying to figure out crutches.

The strangest thing he’d found was a skinned and gutted squirrel in the bathroom. He would have liked to say an animal did it, but the job was too clean and it was tied up with string from the shower rod.

His best theory so far was that his vacant home had been a hotspot for witches.

He hadn’t put yesterday's discovery past him yet when he heard gravel crunching outside, and he hopped over to the window just in time to see his sister’s car pull into the driveway. He stepped outside to greet her, and to his delight, she got out of the car with a very excited Darcy on a leash. He leaned down to greet her, and in the blink of an eye the bulldog had broken free of his sister’s grip to run across the yard and slobber all over Eilian. He was knocked over in the process, but he was already cooing over her as his sister walked over, her hands on her hips.

“Oh sure, you say hi to your baby before you say hi to me” She huffed, Darcy momentarily stopping her barrage of kisses on Eilian to headbutt her legs, asking her for pets too. Eilian couldn’t help but laugh.

“Sorry Erin, I missed her! Was she good for you?”

“A little devil, as usual. You didn’t do a good job training her, she always begs for table scraps”

“And you didn’t give her any?” Erin rolled her eyes.

“She was fine, really. You spoil her enough anyways. C’mon, let’s get you off the ground.” Erin reached down and extended her hand, and Eilian just shook his head, grabbing his crutches and grunting with a bit of effort as he pulled himself back up.

“I can stand up by myself now, really.” Erin just raised an eyebrow and nodded in response.

“Whatever you say, just don’t hurt yourself trying to rush your recovery. I know how much you wanna get back in the water” Erin remarked. Eilian just glanced away.

“If the doctor ever clears me for swimming again…” He grumbled. Erin sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to look up at her.

“I mean it, you can’t rush your recovery! The doctor will clear you for doing things like swimming and whatnot again, it hasn’t been that long anyways. You just have to let yourself heal and be patient.” Eilian just grunted.

“Yeah, and what am I supposed to do in the meantime?”

“Well, fixing up this old house is a good start. Oh, speaking of, I brought some of dad’s old tools, he said you’d probably need them to fix some things he knew was wrong with the house” She rushed back to the car, taking out a toolbox and, a pizza box. Darcy rushed back over to Erin as soon as she smelled the pizza.

“What’s the pizza for?”

“Uh, it’s my housewarming gift. I have a funny feeling you haven’t eaten one meal in your new house yet” That made him glance guiltily to the side again, and Erin just groaned as soon as she caught his expression. “Of course you haven’t. But I guess self-care is just another thing I gotta lecture you about, huh?” She shoved the pizza into his hands before inviting herself inside to put the toolbox on his counter.

“Well hey, how am I gonna find the time for all this self-care if I’m moving in and fixing the house?” Erin sighed in response.

“I’m not telling you to take a spa day! I’m telling you to eat, pea brain! Jeez, for someone who wants to recover so quick you sure do a god-awful job of listening to your body” She pointed out. Darcy was busy sniffing around the house, specifically the bathroom. As she was snuffling around, she suddenly began barking, and the two siblings made their way over to the door to see what she was barking at. She was staring down the bathroom cabinet, but nothing was there.

“Darcy, what’s wrong honey?” Eilian cooed. Darcy just huffed and waddled back over to him, headbutting his leg. Erin shrugged.

“You’ve probably got a ghost or something” She proposed as Eilian went into the bathroom to inspect.

“That, or mice. There’s a hole right here…” He pointed out. And sure enough, there was a crack in the tile right next to the sink, and behind it a hole that led behind the cabinet. “I don’t think the scratching I heard in the attic last night was ghosts, either. I’m gonna have to pick up some traps, I guess…”

“Yikes… Well, good luck with that. I’ve actually gotta head out, I’ve got work in a few” She leaned over to hug Eilian, and to ruffle his hair right after. “Call mom when you get the chance, she wants to know how you’re doing. And I better see photo evidence of you eating that pizza, or else I’ll come back and shove it down your gullet. Remember, I only live thirty minutes away from you now” She threatened. Eilian just chuckled.

“I’ll eat it I’ll eat it, don’t worry. I’m hungry right now anyways” He assured, walking back into the kitchen with Darcy hot on his heels. He smiled down at her as he opened the box. “And yes, I’ll share my crust with you” He assured the dog. She headbutted his leg affectionately in response.

“Ugh, you two act like you’re in a Disney Channel original about a boy and his dog. I’ve seen enough, I’m out” She said, staying true to her word by abruptly closing the door right behind her. Eilian walked over to the window and waved his goodbyes, and he sat down to have a bite of pizza as soon as she was gone.

Something was off, however. Instead of staring at him and begging, Darcy had planted herself right outside of the bathroom door to stare at the cabinet.

Something was going on in this house. And whether it be mice or not, he was going to take care of it.

[darlingandmreames]

Also— with how much we have been talking about McDanno, imma gonna risk this prompt becoming a thing by requesting #6 from the touch prompts

How many prompts do I have left? Did I use them all?

6. Touch to say goodnight

I completely blame you for my sudden desire to get back into Hawaii Five 0 agsjdksj. Full disclosure, I haven't actually started rewatching it yet, so this is all based on what I remember from when I last watched it, like, 5 years ago. Here’s some in denial/pining Steve though, hope you enjoy (and no, you still got plenty of prompts if you want to use them lol)

Touch prompts

*******************************************************************************************

Steve leaned back in his chair, taking a sip of his beer and staring out over the water. Danny was ranting beside him, gesturing wildly as he went on about something involving how people on the island drove. Steve had admittedly lost the conversation thread a while back, probably a combination of several beers and Danny's…less than organized rant structure, but Danny was still fun to listen to all the same. If anything, he was more fun to listen to once you stopped focusing on the content and more on the…experience that was a worked up Danny Williams.

"Are you even paying attention?"

Steve tried to tamp down on his grin as he looked over to find Danny watching him with an annoyed expression. "As best I can."

"See? This is exactly what I'm talking about!" Danny sat back with a frustrated sigh. "You all get lost in your own little worlds with no awareness of others around you. And then you end up going 20 in a 45 mile per hour zone and the rest of us- who have places to be and things to do, thank you very much- are stuck behind you!"

"You just have to learn to relax, Danno. Take a breath and slow down sometimes." Steve's grin broke through despite his efforts. "You're in the aloha state, try to enjoy it."

"I'm from New Jersey, babe," Danny grumbled. "I don't relax when I drive."

"You don't relax ever, I don't think."

"Yeah? And whose fault is that, huh? Who is the one person who never fails to get on my nerves and stress me out?" He hit Steve's arm lightly. "I'm gonna end up with high blood pressure because of you."

Steve laughed. "I have no idea what you're talking about." 

They fell into a comfortable silence broken only by the soft lapping of the waves on the sand. He enjoyed nights like this. Spending time with the team as a whole was always nice, of course, but there was something about spending time just the two of them that was…different. Nice in its own way, even if Steve couldn’t quite put his finger on how or why. 

"Oh!" Danny sat forward suddenly. "I almost forgot. Gracie's school play is coming up and she insisted that I invite you."

Steve looked over at him. "Insisted, huh?"

"Mhm." Danny raised an eyebrow. "You know she's started calling you Uncle Steve, right? I tried to get her to go with Uncle Neanderthal, but she said that was mean."

"Clearly she gets her manners from her mom." Danny hit his arm again and Steve laughed. "I'm honoured. Tell her I wouldn't miss it for the world." 

"Good. We can't be friends if you upset my daughter, and I suppose I'd miss your stupid face if that happened."

"You'd still see me at work."

"Shut up, you know what I mean."

Steve chuckled and looked back out over the water. Danny's arm was half resting on the armrest of Steve's chair now, pressing against his own arm slightly. The casual contact was far from out of the norm for Danny; for all his bluster he was an affectionate man, handing out pats and shoulder touches and nicknames to everyone. It'd surprised Steve at first but he supposed it made sense. Danny was a father, after all, and a good one too, so the casual touching and affection wasn’t that out of the ordinary. 

The more time they spent together though the more common it became and Steve…wasn't quite sure what to make of that. Or what he wanted to make of it. He snuck a glance over at Danny in the low light filtering over to them from the porch. Most of his face was in shadow but he looked relaxed, the aggravated energy from his earlier rant completely gone now, and he was sipping his beer unhurriedly. The backlit glow from the house caught a few strands of hair that had fallen out of place, hanging in his face slightly, but he didn't seem to be in any particular hurry to push them back in place. It wasn't a bad look on him, fitting the relaxed mood of the evening perfectly. Seeing him in moments like this had surprised Steve at first too, the contrast with his normally high-strung personality- a description Danny would undoubtedly argue with- catching him off guard. He was more used to it now though, the sight also having become more common as they spent more time together.

Steve looked away and took a drink, trying to ignore the slight heat he could suddenly feel in his cheeks. Danny was a friend, nothing more. And the casual touching and affection was just that- casual. Danny probably wasn't even aware of it, honestly. He was affectionate with everyone, there was no reason he'd take any note of something like this. It only stood out to Steve because it wasn't the norm for him, that was all.  

After a few minutes Danny sighed and looked at his watch. "I should probably head out. I have to pick Grace up from Rachel's pretty early in the morning." He finished off the last of his drink and held it up slightly. "Thanks for the beer, as always."

"I'll walk you up to the house, I should probably grab-"

Steve had started to stand up but Danny rested his hand on his wrist. Steve looked down, surprised. “Nah, it’s fine. I’m a grown man, I think I can find my way back all by myself.” Danny squeezed his wrist slightly as he stood up. “Stay out here and enjoy the evening a bit more. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” Steve turned and watched Danny’s back as he headed back up the path towards the house. He turned back to face the ocean as Danny disappeared around the corner, taking a slow drink and doing his best not to think about the slight pressure he could still feel on his arm if he tried. 

[crqstalite]

You've been visited by the random writing prompts goblin!! - Write about your character just... talking. Are they talking to themselves, or with someone else? What kind of slang or phrases do they use often? Do they have an accent?

I really should quit writing these one-on-one scenes with Kodelyn and Lali (and maybe y’know, with their actual partners) but I couldn’t get the prompt out of my head! I love them too much and Citlali’s POV is one of my favorites to write -- she goes off on a lot of tangents and I find it more funny and entertaining that anything. Way different than I write Kodelyn’s. Probably should do more shippy writing at some point, but some point is not now.

Post-war. Word count: 2,008. no warnings.

-

“Y’know, she even said she might even put a good word in for me,” Citlali leans back in her chair, grinning around her straw, “Might be a real flight lieutenant, give or take like a decade. No more stowaway-ing for me.”

“Sounds nice.”

“Yeah. Dealing with ships is more my speed than people. Biotic regiment sounds too...I don’t know, challenging? Out there? For little old me.” The younger woman sighs, throwing a hand over her forehead dramatically, “Plus I’d have to work with our dear Major Alenko of all people. As if I don’t see enough of him now, he’d be my actual CO this time around.”

“Yep.”

“Still, that’s years out when the galaxy gets it’s head back on straight. Think they’re just absurdly shortstaffed right now. Not even sure whether this is a good idea or not, I mean, I spent half my life afraid of what I could do and now? Supernova. Might as well make good use of this.” She snaps her fingers, “Like lighting...something on fire. Damn it, lost the analogy that quickly.”

“That’s great.”

Citlali straightens in her chair again, looking around the atrium and shaking her cup, ice rattling inside of the plastic. The Citadel was rebuilding, after nearly a year and a half after the war had ended, and a few wards were getting back to the idea of normal. If one went wandering, one could probably still see the scars and missing shops, homes and even nearly half a ward on the other side. Yet, here they were, at a little fast food place, still very much alive and thriving.

Suck on that, Reapers. Shepard 3, Reapers 0.

The energy in the food court is different from where it had been before the Citadel had been moved to Sol. Less nervous energy to burn, less fatalistic views being preached from every corner of the Presidium. Life was getting back to good. Summer was right around the corner on Earth at least. Less death and mass murder at the hands of the Reaper putting a dampener on dinner.

She squints at her sister. Kodelyn Shepard, entirely off duty, was still in something that made Citlali think she was going to spar with James. Offhandedly she wonders if she would ever take her up on that offer to get a full wardrobe beyond the one or two shirts, jeans and boots she owned. Considering she rarely saw Kaidan out of anything similar, she’d have to do something about that soon.

She’d always looked nice in yellow.

However, said Shepard has a smile just gently tugging at the corners of her mouth while one hand flies over her omni-tool’s keyboard, not a glance up to where Citlali is.

She’s not paying attention. Probably hasn’t been since she started talking nearly five minutes ago. Her offhanded responses have gotten better though, Kodelyn almost had her fooled that she was carrying on a two-way conversation. Probably should’ve gotten suspicious when she didn’t actually offer anything to the conversation. Or when she opened the omni-tool to begin with. Multi-tasking had always been a skill that she had, not so much one that Citlali did.

“Anything good?” Citlali reaches over the table to gently (alright, she’ll admit it wasn’t all that gentle) pull at her sister’s wrist. A quick glance at the ID tells her all she needed to as she slumps back in the chair, “Damn, speak of the devil! You haven’t been listening to a single thing I’ve said have you?”

“Hey!” Kodelyn yanks her hand back, swiping at the screen a few times, “I have been listening.” She retorts indignantly.

“Have you?” Citlali raises an eyebrow. She hasn’t been, but knowing her sister, she’s good enough at halfway paying attention to reconstruct what she’s said well enough that she wouldn’t be able to accuse her otherwise.

Damn her. Sound doesn’t turn to soup whenever multiple conversations are going on around her. Lucky.

“Yes! I have.”

“Uh huh,” Citlali gnaws at the straw, wickedly grinning when she returns to typing, “Anything dirty?”

“No!” Kodelyn yelps, closing the UI, and dropping her face into her hands as Citlali cackles at her own jab, “Would you give it a rest?”

“I would, if he didn’t take over every waking thought of yours.” Citlali playfully presses a finger into her vulnerable forehead, “Fi-an-ce, brother-in-law-to-be or otherwise, you could at least spare your maid of honor and baby sister twenty minutes of your undivided attention.”

Kodelyn softly smiles. She’s at least genuinely apologetic, leaning back into her own chair with her hands out in front of her, “I know. And I’m sorry, just...”

“I know. He’s important. This whole shing-ding you have planned for the dead of summer is important. Actually, why the middle of July? Do you know how sticky July is? How humid it is to my poor hair? And yours?” Citlali gets a bit carried away (well that was on Kodelyn, July was the month of the devil. But then again she’d never been to Vancouver in July...and she was getting carried away again), “But have you spent a single second today not on that thing?”

“You know, I don’t just use it to talk to Kaidan. There is spectre business to attend to as well. Just because the war ended didn’t mean that work did.”

“Really? You had me fooled, thought he was the only contact in there,” Citlali snickers as Kodelyn rolls her eyes, “I get it, you’re still important and you’re still really busy. I respect that. Just sometimes I just want to know what’s going on with you without having to hear it secondhand, or on my ‘tool.”

“As if you haven’t been equally quiet the last few months.”

“I haven’t! I even sent the RSVP note back. In pen. That’s how much it meant to me.”

“That was your writing? Thought Mason got ahold of it. Kaidan and I could barely tell who it was from.”

“Ok, glad we can agree our baby brother writes like a chicken, but my handwriting is not that bad!” Kodelyn snickers as Citlali pops the cap off her cup, rattling around the ice at the bottom of the cup. Pink liquid still hangs onto the cubes, which meant the last of the juice was still hiding from her. She sucks on the straw anyway, “We have all the time in the galaxy now and we still just keep missing each other. Twice you were presumed or actually dead -- three if you want to count the original battle of the Citadel, and sometimes it still doesn’t feel real that you’re sitting across from me, very much alive and kicking. Three times I had to come to terms with the fact you might actually be gone.”

Kodelyn’s expression softens at her admission, “Is that why you keep trying to invite me out to ‘girl’s nights?’ Because you just want to make sure I’m still here?”

“No that’s mostly mom, you really have to start answering those. Occasionally Tali whenever she’s here, she’s asks after you, y’know. Liara and I hang out sometimes. Not as much fun, she’s as quiet as you sometimes and I’m not an archeologist. Or information broker. Or Asari. Not much we can talk about that isn’t confidential or something way out of my realm of understanding -- not like she wants to talk about the newest extranet series either.” Citlali remarks. She did genuinely like Liara, even if their interests were on opposite sides of the galaxy. Maybe she should bother the Asari a bit more before she took off again into the unknown, wherever said unknown was. What did a Shadow Broker do all day?

Beyond the point though, “Look, I won’t get sappy, but the piece of your pie chart that’s dedicated to me means a lot. It’s good when I don’t nearly get a heart attack every time you’re on the news.”

“If it was that serious-”

“-And it’s not.”

“If it is,” Kodelyn continues, “I’ll always be here. Just a call away.”

“I had to schedule this a week in advance, Dee.” Citlali gestures with her pretty much empty cup, though backs down a moment later, “Maybe I’m being a bit ridiculous, but I can count on one hand how many just...days like this we’ve spent together since the war ended. I mean, you could probably count everyday I was in your hospital room, but those are technically invalid since you weren’t conscious for most of them.”

“You know better than anyone that I’ve been pulled in thirteen different directions at once, not all of them as fun as you make them out to be. And yeah, you’re right, maybe I haven’t been making as much of an effort as I could be to spend some 1-on-1 time with you.” Kodelyn taps her nails on the table, thinking while the conversation lulls, “You still mean everything to me Lali. I’ll be better, just give me some time to figure all of this out, okay?”

Time, all they had was time these days. And yet it felt like she’d blinked, the war happened, and she was sitting in a hospital waiting room for hours on end. Blinked again, and she found herself back in her own apartment, her own bed, her semi-old life. Startling, almost like none had passed at all between when she’d picked up that call from Miranda to now. And yet, now it didn’t feel like she was wasting any of it by pulling her sister away to do something silly or inane. Death was no longer rapping at their door with increasing ferocity, almost like a much too determined salesman. Felt like they’d managed to crucible it across the front lawn and send it scrambling.

“Yeah, of course. Just...for the record.” She shrugs. The cup is finally empty, making an ugly noise when she sucks on the straw, instead still gnawing on it, “All we have is time these days. And I’m not being sarcastic, we honestly do. We’ll see the passing of another century given something else doesn’t try to annihilate the galaxy.”

“Yeah, if they could wait until after the next Council summit as well as after the wedding, that’d be great.” Her sister says, flickering open her UI again, “I spent way too much time helping planning both of those to have them ransacked by the next Harbinger.”

“Oh yes!” Citlali grins, “Councilor Shepard-Alenko, that’ll be the day. Yes ‘Reapers’, we have dismissed that claim already.”

“I still haven’t accepted,” Kodelyn laughs, turning her wrist to show Citlali something, “And I might not, I’ll recommend Petrakis but that’s as far as I’m going to help them find a proper representative. I’m not really Councilor material, and Kaidan’s had to remind me I can’t exactly hang up on them if they’re standing right next to me.”

“Really? Finally time to kick back and settle down with you, huh? Nice little place in Vancouver? Here? Part of me is going to be surprised if I see you in anything other than a t-shirt and jeans.”

“Probably not forever, but there is a piece of my pie chart dedicated to not driving myself up the wall anymore,” She gently presses her finger into Citlali’s forehead, making her chuckle, “Not such a bad thing. And I wore that spring dress you bought for me last month.”

“The day you step back from all this,” Citlali waves her arms around them, “Is the day I eat my hat.”

“I’m capable of more than just all this.” Kodelyn gestures similarly, “It’ll be nice to step back and enjoy what we saved. Preferably not from a war room anymore.”

“Never thought I’d peel you out of one,” Citlali says, “Mrs. Kaidan Alenko.”

“You have to get tired of saying that at some point.” Kodelyn’s partially right, though it amuses her. Sort of sweet at times.

“Will I? I don’t think so.”

“Really?” Kodelyn raises an eyebrow, “So how soon can I call you Mrs. Jeff Moreau?”

“New topic!”

[cherrysweather]

As long as I live.

|Pairing: Simon Blackquill x Reader| |Genre: Angst| |Words: 3.029| -----------------------------------------------

[STARTING PROGRAM...]

“Can you hear me?” “Yes, bzzt”

[UPPER LIMBS CONNECTION...]

“Move your arms”

[CHECKED]

“Good.. Now, try move your head” The woman kept writing notes on both paper and in her computer as the tiny robot answered her commands.

[CERVICAL DYNAMICS...]

“Like this?” Asked the tiny artificial beign as he rotated his head with a full 360.

The woman giggled watching the robot who began to become familiar with his body. “Exactly like that”

[CHECKED]

“Now.. Try move your body forward”

[LOCOMOTION...]

The woman freed the robot from his base, leaving him free to move, then she took some papers from her desk, the papers where she could read all the tests she had to do to the robot. Meanwhile, the subject of these test was wandering around the lab, coming, at the end, near the woman who wore that heavy, dark blue coat,

[CHECKED].

“Good, looks like you are perfectly functional pretty boy”  she patted his head and took a little box from the desk  “Now, before the last tests, do you want a name?” she asked while smiling at the tiny beign before her.

“Yes! I want a name! A beautiful one! Please mom, give me a name!”

She stopped for a few seconds before leaving free a little laugh from her mouth. “Mom you say?” she took a piece of paper and a pen, starting to think for names.  “I have a lot of names, but thinking about it, you are the realization of my dream so... Morpheco?”  she turned her head towards the robot that started to party for his new name.  “Thank you mom!” “You can search the origing of the name thanks to your brain if you want, in that way we can also make this a test” she said taking again the paper where she wrote all the results of the previous tests. “my research tells me that this name is similar to that of an ancient Greek deity, is that right?” He asks while spinning his head from one side to another doubtful “Exactly! You know, I have a sister whose name is Athena, like the Greek goddess, so I though about giving a deity’s name to you too, then the “-co” part is because you already have two sibilings and their names finish both with “-Co” so I wanted to connect you three with something” she smiled and got up from her chair, taking a box on another chair; her hands took a vial with some blood in it, returning near the robot after she unbuttoned the lowest buttons of her lab coat.

“You’re special, you know that?” her eyes pointed directly at the screen where the robot’s face was “In what way?” he asked, curious of understand why he was special “Well, if I say that I love you so much, how would you feel?” “I would feel like the happiest robot in the world!” “And if I punch you in the head?” she said and did it, but with the lowest effort in strenght “H-Hey! Of course I’d be angry at you mom! I did nothing wrong!” he patted the hitted zone “I’m sorry, but, did you know that I have a ot of superpowers?!” the woman said out of nothing, scaring at first the artificial creature “For real?! What kind of powers do you have?!” he asked like a baby, believing everything she told him “I can’t fly, turn invisible or things like that, but I can create a lot of things! Both artificially, like I did with you,  and naturally, something I’m working on” her laughs filled the phrase, stroking his head gently “But, you do have superpowers compared to other robots, you and your sibilings, and the answers you gave me are the proof of this” “My answers? So, my feelings?” she nooded “You have an heart, something that a lot of other robots don’t have, you are capable of feel emotions. This makes you more human than any other machine”

Even if they were a flat screen, the robot’s eyes were trembling with joy, not only life, but this woman gave him an heart to make him more human, a coscience of its own.

“Now! I need to tell you why you’re here and why you have this wonderful thing called “Heart”; right?” her face was deformed by one of the brightest smiles on heart, her hand pressed a button on Morpheco’s torso and opened a tiny recess where she inserted the blood vial previously taken, pressing again the button. “Your programs should be able to analyze on their own that blood, it’s a sample of my blood; instead to continue talking, I wanted to try all of your abilities”

[ANALYZING...] Blood group:0+ Red blood cells: normal White blood cells: normal Platlets: normal Beta hcCG value: 74.715 Presence of substance HE4 in blood: high

“The last two results, what are they?” Morpheco asks, confused by the new, unusual informations “You can search by yourself”

After some minutes, one of the two big answers came in

“M-Mom! I’m going to be a big brother!” he waved his hand in the air from exitment “That’s it! Isn’t it?!” “Yes! Yes it it” she laughed, trying to calm down the robot “So, you have this big belly because you have a baby in there?” his artificial hands gently touched her stomach from above her clothes “Who is the dad? I want to meet him He’s also my dad right?” “We got married a few months ago, so theoretically yes, he’s also your father. His name is Simon, Simon Blackquill and he’s a prosecutor” “And the baby? It’s a boy or a girl?” “A girl! You are going to have a little sister”

But one thing was still to clarify; that substance in her blood, so the system of Morpheco started searching automatically what that was

“M-Mom..” his bubbly and exited attitude vanished in time of one second “This substance, the HE4, it’s a protein but, it also indicates the presence of an ovarian cancer” he looked at that tiny woman as she was tightening the sleeve of her blue jacket “Yes, can’t deny that” she putted on one beautiful smile, looking at the screen on the robot’s face, resting one hand on his head

“I have an ovarian cancer, yes. I have only have three and an half months to live, yes, but I don’t want to waste them, as I don’t want to ruin my daughter’s life, so that’s why you’re alive, I need your help” she looked right in his eyes, remaining calm despite her shiny eyes “There’s no time to desperate now”

“MOM! This isn’t fair! I’m just born and you are already telling me that you are going to leave me so soon?!” his voice was shaking like the rest of his body “S-Simon- Dad, knows this? Is he helping you?” he hoped for a positive answer; he didn’t want to lose his mom so soon. “No, he doesn’t know” she sighed and took her head in one hand  “He already has his problems, this isn’t the time to share my situation with him” she watched the ring he gave her the day of their wedding, the day Simon smiled and smiled, nothing else. “Mom, just why?! You can go on a cure, you have to save yourself and sister!” but he imagined the answer ”It’s too late” “Hey, your sister will be alright, and, your aunt will help you here at the lab” she tried to talk as she wasn’t going to die without the joy, the hope of seeing her babygirl grow. “Now, could you please hear my request? The reason of why I’ve created you?” sobs came out of her mouth as she talked, noticing the nod of the robot to her words. “When I’m gone, would you please, help Simon? Would you be a friend, a brother, someone to count on for my daughter? Please..?” tears started to walk on her cheeks as she took both Morpheco’s hands in hers “This is your mission, what do you say?” a little smile came in her face as she raised her head. “Mom, I-I feel like I’m wet, inside?” “This feeling should be the equivalent of our tears, please, don’t cry, you are stronger than me, you must be”  “Yes. I will help dad, I will be a good brother and someone to count on, I will be everything my sister needs!” his sobs decorated those desperate and sad screams before his sight went blurry.

[LOW BATTERY, TURNING OFF IN 1 MINUTE]

“It seems like you have to go to sleep, thank you for everything... In these days I’ll teach you everything you want to know” she pressed te button behind the head and the screen turned off.

Morpheco was brought back to its base to recharge and as soon as she picked all her papers, Ms. Blackquill left her lab.

Bad luck.

For once, Simon came to pick her up from work and he was right outside the door, back resting on the wall and his hand on his eyes, trembling.

Her blood froze in that istant and the heart stopped for a few seconds; she wanted so much to run inside the lab again and hide herself from reality, but her body approached the man in front of her, picking his free hand. “Hey beautiful, what are you doing here?” she acted like nothing happened, trying to keep inside the tears “When were you going to tell me? When you’d be one step from the grave?” he sounded cold, but his words trembled. “You understand that someone can’t get to know these kind of informations while the direct interested is talking with a robot. With a robot and not with her husband” he hated raising his voice to her, but he was panicking.

Him, a former jailer, couldn’t see himself as a single dad. Even with the help of Aura or Athena, or that robot, he won’t be able to have the confidence needed to raise a child. She remained in silence, knowing that she had made one of the biggest error in her life if not the biggest. “I tought you’d start hating me because I stopped you from comng at the echography, that’s when I’ve discovered it... I touhgt that would be an echography like any other” “You think too much” he freed his hand from her’s, walked away, trying to make the picture of the situation. Her heart started to fall in pieces, but she wasn’t mad at Simon, he was right, she was wrong. “I’m sorry, I realize now that I should have told you sooner and of my own free will, but I have created that robot, Morpheco, so that he will be by your side when it is neede-” “I need you by my side, not a fucking robot!”

Slowly her eyes pointed down, her brain stopped thinking about answers, she just fixed her papers and went to the elevator. As if he had teleported, Simon was behind her, and he selected the ground floor to go home.

He put one hand on her belly and his forehad on her head “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to raise my voice” he cuddled slowly her big belly, feeling some movements in it “She’s still moving” he smiled and kissed her head “One last month and she won’t be there anymore, she’s enjoing her time” she laughed softly and put her hand on his, trying to free Simon from her hair. His eyes were shining with tears as he slowly began to realize everything “I don’t want to be alone again and our daughter needs a mom” “I know that more than anything, and I feel so bad for this..” she squeezed his hand with strenght, turning her head towards his chest, feeling finally protected from everything when his arm held her close. “I guess in these last months we should to get used to this future” he his once again his face in her hair, keeping her close at his body.

“I’ll go on loving you, for as long as I live.” Months passed and they brought with them a big surprise; after the birth Blackquill heir was born, the contractions continued and it came to light that between the two things that could go unnoticed on the day of the echography, that was just the presence of a second fetus, developed long after the first: born prematurely but healthy as a fish was a little boy of just under two kilos.

Just after another day in court, Simon returned home but the silence strangely reigned, but luckly, entering the bedroom found those two trublemakers asleep with their beautiful mom. “You’re home late tonight” she said once Simon sat on the bed “Why you’re awake?” he discussed with a tired voice “I don’t want to sleep tonight, I’m scared” the fluids of the drip attached to her arm continued to make noise at every drop that fell  “I feel like, if I sleep tonight, tomorrow I won’t wake up” she held the two babies in her arms, moving them gently to make them sleep “Come here” Simon’s heart began to beat wildly and tremble like a leaf as he took the three small forms in his arms “That robot turned out to be a lot more useful than I thought in these months“ he tried to avoid the direct topic right now, he could already feel the tears in his eyes “You see? I’ve made it, so of course it would have been useful” her smile did nothing but break more efficiently Simon’s heart “They’re in good hands” she cuddled both Simon’s and the babies’ faces, coughing after taking some air.

They both could feel that her life was coming to it’s end, they both weren’t ready; she didn’t want to leave her family, he didn’t want to lose the love of his life and be alone, once again.

“You know that I will love no more after you? You that were the start of my real life and my first love, first and only love” He gently pulled his fingers between her hair “You have to find someone else, someone who doesn’t keep secrets” she giggled at her own words “Shut up. You see this? This is the proof that I loved you and that I will always do, even if I won’t be able to touch your skin anymore” he said, touching the wedding ring on your finger with his’ “I only need our children and you to be happy, nothing more, “Simon... I don’t want to leave” she started crying without too much noises to not wake up the babies  “Please, keep me awake, I want to stay with you another day, I want to see the babies grow” her sobs were suffocated in his chest, as his hand slowly passed from her hair to the babies’ heads “Do you remember the first time we met? You were so cheerful, Athena was so curious and happy to be with you” “You were too much devoted to my mom, you never smiled but you were kind and sweet” she smiled between her tears, covering Simon’s body with the heavy blankets.

They continued to talk about their past together fot minutes and hours, but diseases make people tired, and her wish to stay awake slowly faded away, but thanks to Simon’s words, she didn’t even realize the fact that she was slowly falling asleep.

“Simon, you know that I love you?” her tired eyes looked towards him as she continued to cough due to her sickness “If you know it now, please don’t forget it. You will be the best father in the world even without me, you’ve been my best friend, my brother, then my partner and now my husband and father of my children, you will do fine” her smile was printed on her lips and the coughs never stopped as she talked “Please, don’t give up, keep going for them..” she took his hands and slowly pressed her lips on his. She didn’t want to ruin his life like that, she didn’t want him to feel so bad that he cried at her, she didn’t want to die, she didn’t want to see him try to keep her to himself in those childish ways, but she had zero control over the situation.

“I love you” one last wisper came out from her lips before her head fell on the pillow, asleep.

Simon watched her figure with tears in the eyes, keepig her hand in his’ and letting then himself fall into Morpheus’ arms, tired both physically and mentally.

The alarm ended Simon’s sleep, which stretched to the bedside table to turn it off. He rubbed his eyes and sat on the mattress, stretched his back and tried to wake up despite that grip that held his heart.  

“If I sleep tonight, tomorrow I won’t wake up”

His head snapped towards the other side of the bed.

His face became gloomy, he felt something inside him shatter.

She was gone. He looked at her in all her beauty, immaculate and illuminated by the morning sun; her purple lips, her eyelids closed and her hair messed on the pillow made her one of the most beautiful visions of his life, if only her body had kept her soul with it.

He then looked at his two babies, still asleep in the most peaceful sleep, in the most comfy arms.

His hand kept on holding hers, now cold like ice but still beautiful like no one else’s.

He took the babies from her arms and brought them back to their room. He hoped that she was on her feet again when he came back, but nothing.

Simon laid down next to her and brought the finger with the ring to his mouth, trembling like a scared baby, trying ro squeeze her hand with all of his strenght to make her react.

Useless.

He just stayed there, powerless and broken inside, waiting for a call from his hungry children.

“Please... Please come back...”.

-

This piece’s remake!

OK SO, this is my big debut, I’m sorry that this tourned out so damn long and maybe boring :( but I hope anyway that you all liked this “thing”, I can also write some sequels of this (shorter, OF COURSE). I hope you didn’t cried like I did :c

Now I’ll probably work on some pokemon stuff, waiting for requests uwu Luv u all! <3

[chilling-seavey]

Anything But Mine (d.s.) - Chapter Twelve

A/N don’t hesitate to slide into my ask box or my messages...I always love to hear your thoughts or predictions! <3 yall

Monday, November 11th, 2019

Florence shifted nervously in the hallway of the community centre, eyeing the door that faced her. She had seen Grayson’s blue Porsche in the parking lot and didn’t want to have to deal with being in the same room as him for an hour. Her heart was in her throat, not wanting to be at Mommy group that morning but she hadn’t been in a while and she knew Cameron was expecting her. Florence wondered how much Cameron knew about her relationship with her brother.

Taking a deep breath, Florence walked into the room, pushing the stroller in front of her. It felt as though the entire room looked at her when in reality it was only Cameron.

“There’s my girls!” she smiled, walking over to give Florence a hug. “We missed you two.” Cameron bent down next to the stroller and kissed Clementine’s head.

“Sorry it’s been so long. Things have been all over the place.” Florence sighed.

“That’s alright. You’re here now.” Cameron said. “Now come in and hang up your coat. We’re going to be playing some music today.”

Florence discreetly kept her eyes on Grayson as she took off her coat and got Clementine out of the stroller. He was organizing the small musical instruments across the room and barely gave her a second look. She sat herself down in the circle, Clementine placed on the rug in front of her. Florence never made friends with the other moms in the group. They talked easily together about the latest gossip while Florence sat by herself, arms tucked around her daughter, the one thing that grounded her. Her own little security.

Cameron got everyone’s attention to begin the session and explained the importance of music in baby’s growing minds. They were going to make their own little band. Grayson was sent to hand out the play instruments to each mother/child pair around the circle. When he reached Florence, he barely glanced at her before setting a small xylophone in front of the pair. Clementine babbled happily and reached for him.

“Hi, Clemmy.” Grayson whispered softly, pressing his finger to her open palm so she could wrap her tiny fingers around it. He slunk away almost just as quickly as he approached them. Clementine shrieked after him, stretching out her arms towards him.

“Look, Clem.” Florence whispered to the ten-month-old, passing her the plastic stick, “play some pretty music. Like you do with Dani, remember?”

Clementine glanced at her mother and then at Grayson who had his back to them before giving up and hitting the rainbow xylophone keys with the stick. The little ‘ding’s made her giggle.

“Grayson, can you put on our music for us please?” Cameron asked, directing her brother to the speaker by the window as she sat with the circle. He followed her instruction, keeping his head down as he picked up her phone and chose the correct song.

A cheerful nursery rhyme filled the room and the babies reacted excitedly to it. The mothers smiled down with pride at their children but Florence’s straight-lined expression was vastly different. She kept her eyes on Grayson as Clementine played her tiny xylophone. He slung his bag over his shoulder before bending down next to his sister and whispering something to her.

“Oh…so soon?” Cameron answered him quietly.

Florence watched his slight nod silently.

“Okay.” Cameron smiled lightly, her slight worry about her youngest brother apparent. Both she and Florence could see the tears welling in his eyes although he tried his best to hide it behind a clearly forced smile. “Call me later.” Cameron called after him as he headed for the door.

Cameron turned back to the group with a friendly smile, “Now let’s get started.” 

~~

“He was going to cry, Jack. Straight up.” Florence said, resting against the kitchen island.

“I don’t even know what to say.” Jack sighed from beside her, Clementine in his arms. “I mean I get why he’s hurt but like…I don’t know.”

“I just wish he would talk to me.” Florence mumbled, handing Clementine a small bag of Cheerios to snack on.

“Give him time. I’m sure he’ll come around. It was just a miscommunication.” Jack shrugged. Clementine held out a Cheerio to him between two fingers and he let her feed it to him.

“I hope.” Florence frowned to herself. The front door opened and Daniel came in from class, dropping his backpack on the floor.

“Hey.” he smiled lightly at them as he kicked off his shoes.

Clementine pulled a wide smile in his direction, babbling loudly as her way of greeting him as he walked over to them.

“Good afternoon, little one.” Daniel beamed, pressing little kisses to her chubby cheek. Clementine reached for him, wiggling out of Jack’s arms. Daniel gladly scooped her up and she nuzzled into his neck, smiling cheekily at Jack.

“How was class, Dani?” Florence smiled.

“Really good. I think I aced my presentation.” Daniel said.

“That’s great!”

“Now it’s my turn to go and fail my presentation.” Jack clapped his hands together. “I did it all last night and got no sleep.”

Clementine giggled from her place in Daniel’s arms.

“It’s not funny, baby orange.” Jack tisked, tickling her sides. He grabbed his sweater from the dining room table and slung his backpack over one shoulder.

A knock at the door interrupted his rush and Jack went to open it.

“That’s Emilio!” Florence beamed and rushed after him. Sure enough, Jack opened to reveal the Spanish boy, bundled up in a thick winter jacket although it was barely less than 0°. Florence threw her arms around his shoulders. Jack took a step back as to not be pulled into their much too friendly embrace. Daniel stared expressionlessly from his spot in the kitchen, Clementine eating her Cheerios quietly on his hip.

“I really gotta run. Class starts in 5 minutes.” Jack said, squeezing past the couple. “See you later!”

“Good luck, Jack!” Florence called after him as he ran across the lawn towards the university. She closed the door behind him as she pulled Emilio inside.

“It’s so cold out now!” Emilio chuckled, tucking his arms around his middle in an effort to warm up as he followed Florence back to the kitchen. “I’ve been in Canada for like two years and I haven’t gotten used to the winters.”

“Our brothers are out tanning in California and we’re here. How is this fair?” Florence tisked.

Emilio greeted Daniel with a smile, earning a simple half-hearted response from the boy. Clementine wrapped her arms around Daniel’s neck, pressing her cheek to his, and smiled at Emilio as if claiming what was hers.

“Dani-“ Florence sang as she leaned over the island towards him.

Daniel looked at her, raising one eyebrow expectantly.

“Can you look after Clementine tonight? Emilio and I are going out for dinner.”

“I mean…I guess…” Daniel nodded once, looking to the baby in his arms. He could never say no to the sweet little girl…Clementine really had him wrapped around her finger.

“Thank you!” Florence sighed, walking around the island to hug him quickly. “We’ll be back before 8. I promise.”

Daniel watched as the two of them put their shoes on and left without another word. The house fell into silence except for the distant muffled sounds of Zach playing video games in the loft. Clementine looked up at Daniel and pressed a soggy Cheerio into his mouth with her sticky fingers. His cringe went unnoticed by the baby but he still pressed a kiss to her head. He couldn’t deny the hurt in his heart.

“Looks like it’s just you and me again, Clem.” Daniel mumbled.

[robotgirlomatic]

Long division

Growing up I was given a lot of things by my parents and grand parents. Music, movies, stories, opinions, how to fold a towel etc. As I got older I realized some of their input was things passed down to them that needed removal - like racism, homophobia and sexism. I am in a constant state of learning and unlearning these thing through life experience, personal reading and connecting to people with different life experiences than myself. It’s taken years to unlearn the things they cultivated in me and it’s divided us as a family that I don’t subscribe to those aspects of their beliefs anymore.

Three or four years ago now I was forced to move in with my mother in an effort to save her home that she inherited from my grandmother. My mother and I do not get a long because I did not keep the religion, racism, homophobia or sexism she gave me and I do not argue with her but I don’t speak my opinion in her house and I do not disagree with her I only give her silence. Part of me feels bad for not trying to educate her but she’s 63, I’m nearly 32 and so far nothing I’ve ever said was treated with respect; I’m not going to change her world view so why waste my time and energy letting her scream at me while I struggle to remain calm? Nope not worth it 0/10, have tried it wouldn’t recommend.

About a year and a half ago I moved out and then moved to Chicago and I miss my friends a lot, I miss table top gaming, I miss seeing everyone’s little families, I miss apple cider doughnuts and I miss people who make sense. My father had triple bi-pass surgery two years ago, my mother is no spring chicken - yet they love trump and so are still going outside and as of today I’ve discovered - they support the idiots out and about protesting their states stay home orders..

I changed my Facebook avatar today to an image of me with a mask on flipping the bird and in the description I wrote something about how I’m flipping off the people protesting their states quarantines and my mom felt the need to comment stating she disagreed with me and that she didn’t want to state her view because she was afraid of my friends attacking her for her views... (which to my knowledge is something that’s never happened.. literally ever)

I’m pregnant, in a few months I will have a tiny human who doesn’t know what the worlds about and I don’t want her to have the goblin who raised me teach her that black and brown people are evil, that people can be illegal, that gays and trans are going to hell or that the quarantine is a hoax and that we should be frolicking outside protesting and putting others at risk. I know part of it’s my hormones but I just sat here and cried as I deleted her comment. She raised me to be a Christian, to care about my fellow man, to do acts of love and to always think outside myself and yet here we are 30yrs later and she’s fucking insane - there was an intelligent woman that lived up in her brain once and she taught me that most everything in life is propaganda and since then she’s bought it in size trump and has lost herself completely to ideals that I abhor.

Anyone else out there with relatives or parents who have absolutely shit opinions? How do you cope? Does it bother you? How do you get beyond it?

[vampexx]

Uh oh....I used my brain again....get ready lol

DISCLAIMER: I’m going to try VERY HARD to make all this comprehensive and understandable, promise. But when my wheels are turning this fast lol I have a VERY bad habit of not being able to keep up with my own thoughts so please be patient with me as I make an attempt to translate what all is going through my head at hyper speed lol so sorry in advance. Also, for clarity reasons, discussed romantic approaches between adrien and marinette are rated on a scale of 0-100.

OK, so.

That metaphor of how kagami is like a mirror (I mean, I know kagami means mirror or whatever but that’s not what I’m talking about). Ok, well I think it applies to both of them (luka AND kagami) in a literal way. Hear me out.

First: kagami and adrien. Kagami is very strong in her approach when it comes to romance (or anything in general). Very headstrong and blunt, she won’t hide how she feels or what she thinks in any circumstances, right? Now adrien isn’t necessarily that way BUT chat noir is. His approach with ladybug was very....what’s the word....tenacious lol poor thing. He never gave up, which as adorable and as loyal as it sounds to us - the fandom, came off very strong and was received kinda poorly by ladybug to be kinda aggressive I guess? NOT SAYING HE WAS HARASSING HER BECAUSE HE WASN’T! He just didn’t want to lose hope because he was CONVINCED that him and his lady were made for each other MUCH LIKE KAGAMI and her feelings regarding adrien. So, given as of late, ladybug is really the only girl he has fully and openly flirted with. I think that, as he gets closer to kagami, he will at some point take note of her really kinda protective and territorial(?) personality. Like I’m not gonna lie, it comes really close to adriens father and his raising...possessive and territorial  because again, they were raised the same way (NOT SAYING KAGAMI IS LIKE GABRIEL BECAUSE HE IS LITERAL GARBAGE, I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THAT KAGAMI IS TRASH, EVEN THOUGH I’M NOT A FAN PERSONALLY, I WOULDN’T SAY THAT BECAUSE IT’S SIMPLY NOT TRUE) I have mentioned before that their similar raising and domestic circumstances is really something they can bond over, as they should so it will boost their relationship in a friendly way no doubt, but I think that it will likely be their downfall in a romantic way. Allow me to explain...

Yes, her social issues are because of her raising, I understand that. BUT, her raising only accounts for about half of her personality in my opinion, but I’m no psychology expert mind you. I say it accounts for half because her mom is quite clearly the same way so obviously to some degree, it’s also boils down to genetics (again, MY OPINION). Her mom is strict, blunt, strong willed and has such a confidence that it comes off as egotistical (AGAIN, NO HATE INTENDED, DON’T @ ME! BEING HONEST!) Kagami has made some improvements, I will agree with that and I also agree that she has every capability to continue to improve. However....will she ever not be the way she’s known to be? Cut and dry, strong willed and blunt? No. Why? Genetics. It’s the personality she was born with, she just wasn’t done any favors by the way she was raised, which made it worse and made her evidently unlikable and hard to relate to, thus her having no social life or social skills.

Back to adrien. He will take note of how kagami’s approach to romance can be very off putting and intense, seeing how it can rub people the wrong way. I think he will hopefully make the connection in his head, as in he will see how and why chat noir was not successful in his attempts with ladybug, and having an understanding of ladybugs perspective for a change. He will see this and recognize that style of romantic approach isn’t a good fit for him, given how gentle adrien can be on the contrary to chat noir (who yes, is gentle and just as sensitive but is FAR MORE open and flirtatious), and will then make an effort to maybe not just slow his flirting approach from a strong 100 down to a 50 but also see how since he has so many romantic loose ends emotionally, he will continue to insist that he is NOT ready for a relationship given the emotional wreck that is his heart (or at least in my opinion, he should insist because...logic lol, don’t know how else to put it). I mean understand, he has such intense love for ladybug that won’t go away, feelings for kagami that I’m personally not really convinced are romantic (at least, not on his part), and we all know the underlying feelings he has for marinette that he is doomed to have to face sometime soon. It will be nothing short of chaotic, that’s for sure.

To sum up for adrien, kagami will be his mirror for his past romantic approaches as chat noir and will decide to tone it down a bit or just pause completely after seeing the flaws that come with it. But still, it will knock him down from say 100 (give or take) to more like a 50.

Still with me? OK...half way there lol

Second: marinette and luka. Luka is definitely interested in marinette, don’t get me wrong. It’s pretty evident. HOWEVER, as interested as he has shown to be romantically via those couple of times with marinette, literally every other time luka and marinette have interacted, it’s been like 95% friendly, or at least, IT COMES OFF THAT WAY** (hold that thought ok? Remember that). So Luka reads as a confusing character for me because, yes he has made it clear that he likes marinette via small, less intimidating approaches, but he still otherwise kinda comes off to me as also somewhat....disinterested(?)(for lack of a better word). What I mean is this, he said nice things in silencer and felix, I agree with that too, but really that’s all he has done pretty much lol if we’re honest. Like marinette, his romantic approaches however meaningful and sweet they were, were still very few and far between. Otherwise, it’s been seemingly a completely friendly relationship, which THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH (DON’T @ ME OK?). That’s what I mean when I say that he comes off as interested and somewhat disinterested at the same time. Like, to me, it’s this kinda vibe: if you like me, cool / if you don’t like me, cool lol. That’s what I mean when I say disinterested, as in, he could go either way (either being with marinette or not) and he be completely cool with it and HE HAS CONFIRMED THIS in felix. It’s confusing to marinette because he’s not really vying for her attention which explains why she said in the marinette on luka video, that she can’t stop thinking about her feelings for adrien, even with luka (I mean duh, I know those feelings are also never gonna go away) BECAUSE luka’s approach isn’t bold enough in my book to really capture more of marinettes romantic attention like it kinda needs to if lukanette is gonna happen. Does that make sense? God I hope so lol.

Like adrien with kagami, I think marinette will take notes on lukas approach to be like her mirror, seeing how somewhat ineffective it can be. She will see the flaws in her approach however gentle, tender and non-threatening it may be, it just isn’t bold enough to really advocate for herself romantically like we all know she deserves. Like I said earlier, that kind of approach can come off as CONFUSING and mainly FRIENDLY** (there’s the thought I told you to hold onto). That would explain why adrien got mixed messages from marinette, one day he thinks they good friends (*facepalm*) and then the next, she seems so standoffish (granted, mainly from her nerves, unlike luka) that it kinda comes off as, again, DISINTERESTED (the same meaning written above still applies, not really giving adrien solid/ definitive signals either way) again, much like luka. 

She will note all of this and maybe realize that she needs to be a little bolder in her approach in order to properly stand up for herself romantically. She will learn that, yes she has made bold attempts with adrien (*applause*) and will also hopefully see how she may have counteracted them with some not so flattering and/ or just flat out standoffish actions. She needs to learn how to hold her ground and allow herself to be an clear option for someone romantically via not hiding her feelings (like her mom said, never apologize for how you feel) and by being very clear with her feelings from the get go for someone, as in it not being one day essentially, “I like you” to the next day being like, “What? No, I don’t like you. That’s crazy lol.” We have seen MANY examples of that, again it explains adriens mixed signals from marinette. She needs to learn how to let her and her feelings be COMPLETELY CLEAR AND VISIBLE so she doesn’t end up disregarded, confusing and walked all over like a doormat (poor baby, it’s true though). She needs to own her worth and her confidence. SHE NEEDS TO FEEL VALID AS AN INDIVIDUAL AND ADRIEN TOO.

This will essentially encourage marinette to take more risks romantically and to have trust and confidence in herself that she is worthy of love and she is very much worthy to be with who she wants to be with. It will bring her up from say a 0(-ish, like lets be honest, aside from a few certain instances, as far as her outwardly vying for adrien, it has been just her and the crickets lol) to a 50 like adrien.

See where I’m going with this?

With both marinette and adrien both at a 50, as in they both found a balanced and healthy romantic approach/ view on romance in general, they will finally be able to literally meet each other half way romantically. Does that make sense? Let me put it this way if it helps: 50 + 50 = 100?

Marinette taking more risks and having faith in her worth, adrien slowing down and analyzing his heart, also knowing his worth, it will set a solid and clear path for the both of them to meet each other half way romantically, finally. Thus paving the way for the lovesquare to implode/ reverse/ resolve...whatever and then setting up for the movie that is seemingly revolving around ladynoir and their love for each other which will then lead to a reveal (hopefully).

For further personal insight into my theories on the whole lovesquare and love rival dynamic, my link for my initial theory post is here: https://vampexx.tumblr.com/post/189482028990/just-a-thought-there-are-spoilers-in-case  Also, I have another post of mine that kinda touches on this subject that I will link next, but to warn you, it is salty. However, it is NOT salty to any one ship, it’s mainly salty towards the fandom so....it’s tagged ml fandom salt or something like that, anyway here is the link if anyone is interested at all: https://vampexx.tumblr.com/post/189856458390/alright-sorry-but-im-gonna-be-salty-real

AGAIN, I would like to remind those that took the time to read this that NO SALT OR HATE was intended in this post IN ANY WAY. I had to be open and honest for the sake of analyzing this mess properly. I apologize if anything has offended anyone but like I said, in order to put this all into words, I really had to be honest.

Hope this made sense, I put a lot of thought and effort into this, so dear God I hope so lol I’m so tired now lmao I KNOW THAT WAS A LOT I’M SORRY! THANK YALL FOR YOUR PATIENCE BUT NOW I’M EXHAUSTED.

Have a miraculous day! Love yall!

[purplesurveys]

1057

survey by lets-make-surveys

1 - When was the last time you had a roast dinner? What kind of meat or vegetarian option did you have with it? That’s not really a thing we do here, but for our noche buena dinner we did have roast chicken with rosemary as one of our dishes. It was surrounded with bangus (milkfish), lumpia with cheese, callos, baked macaroni with cheese, and mashed potatoes with gravy. My family has never been traditional when it comes to Christmas food and I’ve never tried hamon or queso de bola.

2 - When was the last time you drove or travelled for over an hour? Where did you go? It is for sure going to be today because we’ll be driving to Laguna to visit my dad’s family wearing our face masks, face shields, equipped with alcohol and hand sanitizer, and ready to follow social distancing.

3 - What’s your favourite kind of coffee to order (eg. cappuccino, latte etc.)? I’ve been ordering caramel macchiato in the last...6–7 years. If a coffee shop doesn’t serve it, the next thing I go for is whatever sounds like the sweetest drink on their menu, like a chocolate chip truffle frappe or something like that.

4 - When you get old, are you going to let your hair go grey or dye it instead? I will probably dye it for a bit, like what my grandma used to do. But I guess it’ll also depend; I might end up liking grey hair and not feel the need to change how it looks.

5 - What genre was the last book you read? Was it any good? I can’t remember which one it was but it was definitely a wrestler’s memoir; I must’ve read around four this year. The best ones I read are always of Chris Jericho since he has fantastic stories but he also knows how to write well. A lot of wrestlers have great stories, but are so-so in writing.

6 - Did you ever wear braces on your teeth? Yeah, briefly from the end of middle school to freshman year of high school. I need to get braces again, though.

7 - When was the last time you were relieved about something? What caused you to feel that way? Continued from earlier today. We brought both dogs to my dad’s family’s place today and I was glad that they were fast asleep on our drive back home and that neither felt bad and puked.

8 - Where was the last place you went that required you to wear a mask? Are you used to having to wear one now? Everyone is required to wear masks as long as they find themselves outdoors, period. I wear one even if I’m just walking one of my dogs in our backyard. I’m definitely more used to it now, compared to months ago when I had just started going out again and would be forgetful when it came to masks.

9 - How often do you receive calls from unknown numbers? Do you ever answer them? I get them a lot more often now that I’m working and have to coordinate with third-party people...I get unknown numbers once or twice a week. As much as it irritates me, I have no choice but to answer all of them now.

10 - What’s your favourite condiment to have with sausages or hot dogs (or the vegetarian equivalent)? Whenever I have a sausage/hotdog in a bun, I’d be glad to simply have mayonnaise on it.

11 - Which fictional character can you relate to the most? Is this a character from film, TV or a book? Monica Geller from Friends.

12 - Do you groom your eyebrows? If so, how? Nah, haven’t in a long time. It’s just not something I’ve ever particularly cared about. Whenever I have to, I just shave them. I also haven’t had a trichotillomania episode with my eyebrows, which is a relieving thing to realize.

13 - Did you get “told off” for anything the last time you went to the dentist or was everything okay? My last trip went smoothly. I just had a tooth extracted and there wasn’t really anything to reprimand me for since the tooth was already damaged.

14 - Would you rather get a starter or dessert? Have always been more of a savory girl than sweet, so I’ll go with the starter.

15 - Have you ever been involved with the police? Did you find them to be helpful? I mean...I guess? Kind of? I wasn’t arrested by any means, but I was a journalism student, so *shrug* pretty self-explanatory lol. There was one time in one class where we were all required to write a story covering the police beat, so I had to stay at a police station in Manila and wait for any tips or leads to come in. I was in freshman year and was absolutely scared, but I did have a classmate/friend with me ‘cause we were in the same class and she needed a lead as well.

16 - Are you tired at the moment? Is there a specific reason you feel that way? I am extremely tired and would pass out in a second if I let myself. But I had been out all day and didn’t have the chance to do anything I wanted to do whether it was doing embroidery, watching 2 Days 1 Night, or taking a survey, so I’m making up for all the lost time and powering through this survey.

17 - Are you big on colour coordination? Does that just apply to your outfits or to the rest of your life as well? It rarely comes to mind. It’s not something I feel the need to maintain, precisely because I’m very inconsistent with maintenance. Even though I know I possess the necessary effort and patience to organize a group of items by color, I also know it would be disorganized in less than a week.

18 - What shoes did you last wear? How long have you had them? Puma sneakers. Yep, I’ve had them for the past two years.

19 - When was the last time you wore make-up? What kind of make-up was it? September, for my first job interview. My items were simple; just an eyeliner pencil and some lip gloss.

20 - Have you ever slipped or skidded on the ice? Did you end up getting hurt? Continued from last night because I’ve been so sloppy at taking surveys lately, loooool. I’ve slipped a few times on ice skating rinks before. I don’t know if it’s the same experience, but whenever it happened to me I usually felt more embarrassed than hurt. It only hurt quite a bit when the cause of my fall was crashing into someone on the rink.

21 - Do you wear glasses or contacts? I wear glasses, but I already need to change mine since my eyesight has gotten worse and the lens that are on my current pair aren’t for me anymore.

22 - Do you own any photo albums? Are they dedicated to special occasions or just a random selection of photos? My mom made several photo albums for her kids from our childhood days so each of us have lots of photos from age 0 to about 7 or 8. I haven’t made a photo album just for myself, though I really should. Making memories with a film camera and having them developed still sounds very appealing to me.

23 - What was the last reason for you using a spoon? I was mixing my coffee to make sure all the granules are mixed into the water.

24 - Did your state/region go into lockdown or similar back when Covid hit in March? What did you do to pass the time while you were stuck at home? Of course. I would be more surprised to hear of a city or region anywhere in the world that did not go into lockdown. March was a livelier, more optimistic time, so I tried out lots of new things while the lockdown was still fresh and no one had any clue for how long it would actually pan out, and continue to pan out until the literal end of the year. I played the Switch for longer hours, tried making dalgona coffee, watched Descendants of the Sun, pulled more all-nighters, revisited computer games from my childhood, and did my thesis chapter by chapter with Andi.

25 - What’s your favourite meal of the day - breakfast, lunch or dinner? In my family, lunch and dinner are very identical so I’d go with either of them.

26 - Who was the last person you texted? How do you know that person? I have not touched my phone in a while, believe it or not...I haven’t needed it much during the holiday break. I think it was my cousin? He’s a relative, so I’ve known him since birth.

27 - What was the last thing you put in a sandwich? A hotdog.

28 - What was the reason behind the last time you shouted or raised your voice? I was at my dad’s family’s last night and I had ordered four boxes of empanadas from their business, and I was trying to hand over the P500 bill to my aunt (the total was like P300, but I gave them bonus to serve as my treat and my gift). I kept trying to give it and she kept rejecting it and putting it back in my pocket hahaha, so it became like a game for me to see which tiny space in the house I can squeeze the bill in so she can stop retorting. It turned into a funny cat and mouse situation and I ended up raising my voice a few times.

29 - Are you a citizen of more than one country? Would you ever use that advantage to move abroad? No.

30 - Do you know how to change a tyre? Could you do it without help? HAH, no. I am fucked if it ever happens and when it does, I really hope luck would be on my side that day and have a kind stranger that knows how to change tyres walk or drive by.

[creatingnikki]

Dearest Cat,

How has your experience as a 23-year-old been? I’m a month in – exactly – and I think it’s going pretty well. Of course, it’s not like I see any instant growth or changes but I see little new patterns and my stance growing stronger in things that matter, and it’s all been building for the last few years. It’s nice to see it getting finally materialised in actions, however.

I’m sorry about your breakup. I’ve never been in a long-term ‘official’ relationship but I have been in relationships that have fucked with my mind while breaking my heart so I know how it can significantly affect you for a while to come. And take it from someone who tried the long-distance thing for 6 months, it’s never worth it and it never works out anyway.

I have been, quite uncomfortably and amusingly, been watching a lot of Daniel Sloss stand up comedy and I literally just heard him talk about something I think you should hear too:

“When I was seven years old, my dad said something to me that to this day is the reason I will die alone. Very happily, I may add. But I was seven years old, I didn’t know what life was. I didn’t know what existence was, how the fuck would I know? So I thought I’d ask my dad ’cause he can fix a computer, so he must know. So I was like, “Dad, what do we all do? What’s the meaning of life? Why are we all here? What what the fuck?” And my dad loves his kids, so he wants to explain to his son in a way that he’ll understand, but unfortunately, his son’s a fuckhead. So he has to explain it in a way that a fuckhead will understand, and he accidentally did it perfectly, and it’s stuck with me since then.

This is what he said, right? I’m seven years old. He goes, “All right, buddy. Just imagine that your life, my life, everyone else’s individual life. Imagine all of our lives are like our own individual jigsaw puzzles. As we’re going through life, we’re just slowly piecing it together, bit by bit, based on experiences and lessons that we’ve learned until we get the best picture, but the thing is everyone has also lost the box for their jigsaw. So none of us know what the image we’re trying to make is, we’re just confidently fucking guessing. So the best way to do a jigsaw, when you don’t have the image to work off, is to start from the outside, the sides and the four corners. Family. Friends. Hobbies/interests. Job.

Now obviously, as you go through life, some of these bits are subject to change. Sometimes you’ll make new friends, and you’ll lose contact with old so you gotta move this corner around a bit. Sometimes you’ll get a job. That means you can’t have certain hobbies. You gotta decide then, “Do I want more me time or do I want more work time?” You gotta move the stuff around. Sometimes you’ll have a family member that dies, and they’ll leave a big hole in your life. In that moment you’ll have to find a way to fill that void, otherwise you’ll be incomplete forever. ”

Now, that made perfect sense to me, because I was seven years old. I fucking loved jigsaws. So I was like, “All right, okay. So once you’ve got the stuff on the outside, what’s the main bit of the image? What we are all working towards?” And he goes, “Well, that’s That’s the partner piece. You and this perfect person who you’ve never met before to come out of nowhere, fit your life perfectly, complete you and make you whole for the first time in your life, much like your mother did for me. ” Seven. Seven years old. I wish you just said, “Ice cream!” And we could have fucked off.

And even though what he said sounds sweet and whatever, what it manifested in my seven-year-old brain was this, “If you are not with someone, you are broken. If you are not with someone, you are incomplete. If you are not with someone, you are not whole. ”

And that’s not just something my dad made me feel, that’s something that we as a society have made every single child born in the last 40 years feel. Every Disney princess has a prince, every prince has a princess, every television show or movie always has a character in it that doesn’t want to be in a relationship. They’re happy with who they are. But then by the end of the series, guess what. They were wrong! They were wrong for wanting to be alone, what a fucking idiot. Everyone needs someone, yeah. They were just a toasty little marshmallow, weren’t they? It’s all to do with love.

Divorce, an entirely common thing that there is nothing wrong with. When you’re growing up and your friends’ parents get divorced, you’re told to not talk about it or mention it to them because it’s taboo, and it is taboo is because every relationship on the outside is perfect, because none of us are willing to admit that none of us know what the fuck we’re doing. And when you raise children in that world, where everything points towards love and everything’s perfect on the outside, when you’ve raised them for 18 fucking years, when we become an adult for the first time in our late teens and our early 20s, we’re so terrified.

We’re so trying to be an adult that some of us will take the wrong person, the wrong jigsaw piece and just fucking jam them into our jigsaws anyway, denying that they clearly don’t fit. Oh, we’ll move pieces out the way, I don’t need this hobby, I don’t need this opinion. Mom who? The bitch with the tits. What’s she done for me recently? I’m gonna force this fucking person into our lives because we’d much rather have something than nothing. Then five years later, you’re stood looking at a jigsaw you don’t recognize, being like, “Ah! There’s a fucking cunt in the middle of this.”

Maybe you do meet the perfect person. Maybe you meet them, you go out. They make you laugh. You make them laugh. They’ve got a stupid laugh, but you fucking love it. They like what you like. They like your idiosyncrasies. It’s great. It’s perfect. Oh, my God, they’ve completed you. For three months. Every relationship is perfect for three months. And here’s why. ‘Cause after three months, that’s when you realize that nobody else is a jigsaw piece.

Everyone else on this planet is as deep and as complex and individual as you are, which means they too have spent the last 20 or so years of their life working on their own jigsaw puzzle, in the same way that you’ve been working on yours. You can’t suddenly expect them to give up everything they’ve come to achieve to suddenly fit into yours in the same way that you’d be pissed off if they asked you to sacrifice everything you’ve done, suddenly come fit into theirs, but now, because you like each other and because you’re interested in each other, now you have to make a jigsaw together. And we all know how fucking annoying that is. But you do it ’cause you’re in love and you’re interested, and maybe for the first couple years, it’s great. It’s like, “Oh, my God, you love this bit of me. I love this bit of you. Oh, my God, we got the same thing, yeah!” 

But time does not equal success. You can spend five or more years with someone, and only then, after all the fun you had, be looking at the jigsaw and realize you’re both working towards very different images. Only then realize that you want different things. And in that moment, you have a very, very difficult question to ask yourself. One. Do I admit the last five years of my life have been a waste? Two. Do I waste the rest of my life? 55% of marriages end in divorce. 99. 0% of relationships that started before they are 30 end. If those were the stats for surgery, none of us would fucking risk it. But because it’s love and we’re stupid, we just lie on the operating table like, “Maybe this time I won’t die inside. ” My generation has become so obsessed with starting the rest of their lives that they’re willing to give up the one they are currently living. We have romanticized the idea of romance, and it is cancerous. People are more in love with the idea of love than the person they are with.”

You should definitely watch his whole special on Netflix. That guy makes you uncomfortable. But he also makes you laugh. And sometimes, like in his above sketch, he makes you really think.

I think he has said all I would want to tell you about your break up – and I hope it’s helpful because I spent 30 minutes trying to find its transcript haha. And I don’t know what his conclusion really is, I still have the rest of the show to watch, but I think….I think love will come to us when it has to. Until then we just have to live our lives with joy and love for ourselves anyway.

Your meaning of love…I described something similar when I spent 13th Feb – the night before Valentine’s Day making my profile on Hinge. And that’s the thing that most people don’t understand – while 90% people I know first care about the physical appearance of the person, I care about whether we connect and have a spark. Whether we can make each other laugh and kinda just be at the same level/frequency. As you said…Connection of minds and souls and knowing each other to your core. Interestingly, there’s something that hit me like a fucking truck a few months ago and I scribbled it down before it had the chance to move on and leave me confused:

All this. Writing in your journal, underlining sentences in books, taking pictures you’ll never put up on social media or show anyone. All this is your consistent and earnest effort to try to communicate and connect with your past self and get to know your future self and coordinate between the three dimensions of who you were, are and will be. It’s all for you. By you. No one else needs to validate you. Or understand you. Or question you. It’s not their place, it never was.

You need to realize the person your past self was trying to become. The person your future self will need to be. You need to have patience when you can’t figure it out. When you feel betrayed. Because no matter how lacking you may be, you will never have any malicious intentions. You’ll not be flaky, you’ll not be weak, you’ll not throw yourself under the bus. Writing letters to yourself, making playlists so meticulously to capture every season, every mood and continuing despite being uncertain and confused…it’s all you reaching out to yourself.

And I think…it’s when we’re earnestly and constantly trying to connect with ourselves when we come across a person who does the same…we will easily and naturally connect with them, their energy.

I realize that due to the Jigsaw sketch by Daniel Sloss this letter has gotten pretty lengthy. But I still want to talk to you for some more. I hope you’re with me and have connected with my words up until now

About the work friends and how they were there for you and made you feel…isn’t that one of the most comforting, lovely and reliving things? Kinda unexpected too, no? I remember last year, a random lunch on a random workday, I looked around at these 4 smart, brilliant, kind and strong women – my co-workers and friends – at the round lunch table talking about meaningful things – personal and worldly – as we always did and just thinking – wow, finally, I finally belong! I’ve always been a very one-to-one person when it came to friends and was never part of a group (other than groups that feel absolutely uncomfortable and unwelcomed) that was so accepting, loving, sensitive and sincere. And smart! Gosh, so damn smart!

Soon after, each of us left that company – horrible management – and it’s been a year now. We are in touch but of course, it’s never going to be the same as before. And that’s okay. Just thinking of those times and them is enough to make me feel as loved and accepted as I did back in those days. And that’s what I want to tell you – you will come across such people who will truly care about you and help you nurture yourself but their life will overlap with yours just for a while. As a child, this would make me sad and angry! Now, it only makes me super grateful and mindful about being present in the moment that is now, in the life I am living right now. And I hope you can too

So, Cat, I don’t know how many months you have of being 23 but I hope they are all, as well as the coming years, full of connecting with yourself, with people that genuinely care about your well-being and growth and with everything that brings you joy and peace.

Lots of love,

Nikki

I wrote this letter for Nura basis some questions they answered. You can read the questions and their answers here. 

Guys - I have received 29 people’s responses for The Love Project - 29 days of love letters. So I won’t be accepting anymore, however, you can read other letters here. 

I may do this again later in the year and if you would want to receive a love letter from me then, you can drop in your email ID here xoxo

[thenugking]

Grand Academy For Future Villains II: Attack of the Sequel, Chapter 10: Rise of Chapter Ten. A commentary for Three.

General CW for the whole thing: parental abuse, internalised dehumanisation as a trauma response. Three’s not doing well.

Specific CW that there isn’t a chapter nine and it Bothers Me agh.

Game 1

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9

Game 2

Chapter 0 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

Alternatively, read on Google Docs here

***

#"Guards! Darkboard! Mom! Intruder in the school!"

But your voice only echoes down the empty corridors. 

"DarkBoard can't help you here," says Val, zir pen working busily on the paper. "That's why I'm here in the first place. That and saving the world. Just like my destiny foretold, I guess, thought I never thought this is what it meant. Turns out destiny is a strange and ironic thing."

((The game actually reads “Guards! DarkBoard! Mom! Your mother!” I assume this is a bug.))

Scorpius is here with Val, of course, so Three’s first thought is that ze convinced zir to come back. But then why are they in the admin building, in particular? And what is Val doing with the paperwork? Three doesn’t have anything personal against Val, they’re even sympathetic to zir. But they do know ze’s dangerous. Val doesn’t exactly do anything to make them feel better.

"No, you disappointment," adds the clone, "not the replica, me. Do you know how hard it is to make one of these things talk? I'm in the School Head's decoy office and unless you come here and help me, Horror is going to lose the house tournament. I'll be ruined! As your original creator, I order you! Drop what you're doing and help me!"

Imagine that: teaching classes, the personal management of the mindless hordes of maintenance staff, the pursuit of tenure, the faculty sponsorship of the Science Fiction dorm, and the leading role in the final school tournament challenge might have been a little too much for your mother. Is this…is this the first time she's ever actually asked for help?

"Your mother's calling," says your former roommate, stacking up the papers on the desk with one hand, keeping the flashback gun leveled at you with the other. "Go on."

Three isn’t the kind of person to bail on plans, but they’ve already helped Aurion a fair bit, and dealing with Val really is more important. This, on the other hand…

They’ve spent years running around making Maedryn’s life easier, but she’s never just admitted she needed their help before. How are they supposed to ignore her now, particularly when she gave them a direct command? But even leaving aside the fact that this means betraying Aurion (as much as Three doesn’t want to, they know he’ll understand, and maybe even be impressed), they can’t just let Val walk free either. Not when ze’s a threat to the Academy. Val has to come with them.

Val doesn’t particularly care to help Three. They’re planning to pretend to leave, and then return with their gun raised and the replica as a shield, but luckily, Scorpius convinces Val to come and help Maedryn before they have to try. Scorpius, by this point, has stopped making even a token effort to pretend ze’s loyal to Thriller, has all but moved into Dev’s room, and even fought for Horror in the virtual DarkBoard quest. Ze’s still very invested in Horror’s win, and Val’s invested enough in Scorpius to agree to go with zir.

Cautiously you approach the throne room door. You're expecting a variety of traps to greet you—but you see they have already been sprung. Peering around the corner, you see your mother facing off against none other than Dev. Leader of the genre that you swore to undermine.Distracting your mother as a way to get her to call off the defending forces? Clever.

They circle each other slowly across the throne room floor, hardly needing to look down to avoid the bottomless pits, the illusory tiles, and the triggers for the giant descending pendulums. Your mother appears to be armed with a classroom laser pointer.

Of course, you've seen her blow holes in student projects from across the room with this particular tool, so she's probably as well armed as she needs to be.

Neither of them have noticed you in the doorway.

#Defend my mother from Dev. I know she'll make it worth my while.

Your mother catches your eye as she backs Dev towards you. She takes it for granted that you're going to assist her. You are, of course. It'll just take a little planning.

Dev is avoiding the bottomless pit in the floor with practiced ease, but is not counting on someone coming up from behind and giving a well-placed shove. Which you do. The long fading scream is a measure of satisfaction.

"There!" Your mother catches her breath and staggers back to the throne. "You have done well.”

I know Maedryn’s supposed to back Horror if Sci-Fi wins the semi-final, and considering she just told me she was worried about losing, this is presumably a bug. I’m not sure how easy Dev would be to shove into a pit, either.

Not that adny of that really matters. Three arrives to help Maedryn against Fantasy, but by this point, Aurion’s already distracted fighting Cazenar, who’s trying to sabotage him. Dev and Scorpius get distracted by smooching, because they haven’t seen each other since Scorpius went after Val. Three discovers that, as Maedryn’s RA, Sona is also here to help Maedryn out, so has to work out what to do in this chaos to make themself look better than Sona. Val really doesn’t care about any of this.

And then a forcefield appears around the seven students, and A Baroness walks in and shoves a very distracted Maedryn into the bottomless pit, before reminding everyone what she said at the beginning of the year. “You can accomplish so much when you bring people together. And even more when you play them against each other."

So, weak and mortal student, We cannot help but notice that you have selected none for your consort. Could this be because the flesh holds no temptation for you—that you know a stranger and more uncanny hunger? Join Us, join Us, and let your consciousness be absorbed into Our millionfold awareness! See with a thousand eyes! Reach out with a hundred hands! 

Think about it anyway.

I mean, yes, that is absolutely 100% why. And assimilating would be… a welcome relief. At present though, Three feels they can serve better outside of DarkBoard. And they’d like to know who, precisely, DarkBoard’s been assimilating, to get a hundred hands but a thousand eyes. Three respects DarkBoard greatly, but that doesn’t mean they’re not going to tease them about how unrealistic their attempt at sounding grandiose is.

"…Thriller is the reigning genre of the Grand Academy for Future Villains."

Well deserved. Three is pleased to hear it, both for Ulik, and A Baroness.

"We have been unable to reach a conclusion on the final accreditation of the Grand Academy for Future Villains."

Groans. Hisses. The muffled sound of elbows being jabbed into ribs as the eyes of the Head sweep around the hall and students hush each other.

"We will be summoning a fourth member of the Board of Visitors and Overlords to assist us in our deliberations," says Lord X, "and anticipate having a final ruling on the Academy's future within the week. In the meantime…"

Ms. Goul touches his arm. He looks down as she passes him a paper.

"In the meantime," he says, "we will be conducting interviews with individual students and members of the faculty. The following entities will be summoned to attend over the course of the next week. Three—"

You don't hear any of the rest of the list. Is this about Val? Have they found zir? What do they know about what you did?

You jam your hands into your pockets to stop them from shaking, and there you find something strange. A paper of some sort—you definitely didn't put it in there. 

Hunching forward over your table to prevent anyone from seeing, you draw it out. It's an envelope—yellow with age and smelling of dust. The last time you saw that envelope, Val was folding up a paper and putting it inside. Ze must have slipped it into your pocket over the course of your confrontation. How did you manage to miss it?

You take out the paper and unfold it. It's an official form from the days before DarkBoard digitized all of the Academy's records. You can't immediately make head or tail of it, but you see a spot on the printed page where information has been filled in by hand. 

BY CONSENT OF THE ADMINISTRATION AND UNDER SUPERVISION OF THE BOARD OF VISITORS AND OVERLORDS, you read, THREE IS AN OFFICIAL REGISTERED FATAL WEAKNESS OF THE GRAND ACADEMY FOR FUTURE VILLAINS TYPE 3.3.75

There’s a lot of terrifying things happening here. Firstly, the fact that the auditors are undecided. Three doesn’t know what’s gone wrong for them to be undecided still. Is it because of Val? Is it the way Maedryn’s slipping? Have Three and Professor Ulik not done enough to cover Professor Arthenes’ workload? Whatever it is, Three should have done better.

And then Lord X says the auditors want to speak to them, which carries the terror that the auditors know who they are and care about their opinion at all, but also the relief and hope if they give a glowing enough testimonial about the Academy, they can save it. And another wave of fear over the idea of the auditors listening to them…

And then there’s the paper, which is the most terrifying thing of all. Val’s been telling Three all year that they’re more important than they make out to be, that they have narrative weight, that they mean anything at all. And now they’ve made it true. Three is only just able to crumple the paper up tightly in their hand before the room starts spinning around them in the worst panic attack they’ve ever had.

[alixxxxcat21]

Amor Culebras: Blood Pt.1

*I do not own the characters and thus this is a work of fiction*

After the explosion we all peeked over the table we were hiding behind. Now, I noticed the dead people from earlier were either more dead or were impaled by the stakes. Making this almost foolproof plan slightly harder. I wasn’t expecting the dead to turn into the enemy. However, the stake bomb slowed them down considerably. They were crawling slowly towards us which made killing them easier by far.

The original three were still intact. Not an ideal result, but the stake did impale them, just not in the place that would kill them. Daddy full went to into rage mode since now he was down to one child. Kate tried to get a hold him but she wasn’t even able to get close. I shifted my focus to the one currently crawling towards me. I went for the stake and stomped it further into its chest. I wasn’t sure I hit the heart. A few seconds later it hissed weakly and disintegrated into dust. P

Daddy Fuller was being pinned by one of the girls as I turned back to Kate. Only I didn’t see her. I whipped around and saw her standing behind the snake girl with an electric saw in her hands. I froze, not sure what to do. I didn’t think Kate knew how to use it or if she could stomach using it. That’s she pulled the chain and it started up. I smiled, the worst time to smile, but Kate looked ready. So, I had a pseudo-proud mom moment. It only lasted a few seconds, because she cut through snake lady and then I noticed the biker chick turned snake thing crawling in her direction. Saw Richie’s knife and grabbed it off the floor. I wasn’t even sure if I was aiming in the right area but I went over and stabbed her in the back closest to where the heart should be. The ear-shattering cry let me know that I hit the right spot. I looked up and saw the look on Riches’ face.

Daddy Fuller was checking on Kate. She looked horrified and confused. They both turned and look at me. I just nodded so that I didn’t get distracted by Richie. Seth and Richie both walked up to where we were. Having taken care of the bartender dude they looked super tired. Richie put his hand out and looked at me. I handed him the knife. I figured that’s what he wanted. I guessed right. He seemed a little infatuated with it for a second.

“Thank you,” he said.

He looked at me with a quick smile. I rolled my eyes. I wanted to take a very long shower with any form of acid that would get rid of the skin cells that he touched; just the crazy parts. All of the rest of him that’s wasn’t crazy was fine.

I felt like someone was watching this and suddenly noticed Santanico standing behind Richie and Seth. I guess my facial expression gave them an indication that someone was behind them and they both turned around.

“You can’t leave, Richard,” she said. “Not yet.”

I wanted with all of my being for her to just not exist in real life. However, considering this was actually happening I was more concerned about how exactly she needed him. And what for? He was a bank robber and apparently a safecracker. She was a demon/snake/vampire thing with a strip bar. I was confused about what she could possibly need him for.

She started on her speech and it was really convincing and Richie was doing his best to say no to her, but I seriously doubted this “lady” was going to take no for an answer.

“I’m in your soul Richard,” I heard her say.

I looked at Seth. The level terrified and pissed that he was couldn’t have been more apparent.

“I asked you to trust me, but I didn’t tell you what was coming,” she said.

I seriously wanted to interject, but I remember what happened the last time someone tried to interrupt this conversation.

“I wanted to show you who I was. The world is much more complicated than you know,” she said.

Richie seemed to have a really hard time with this.

“Richie, listen to me. Don’t listen to this. Don’t listen to this!” Seth said.

Now he decided to speak up. This whole time I was wondering what was the point of getting her for Seth. I was so lady obsessed with Richie that I forgot that they both wanted to come here for different reasons. Richie was still listening to Santanico and it looked like Seth had other ideas.

He was reaching for the stake on the table less than a foot to his right.

“Something’s coming,” she said.

“Let them go,” Richie said.

That’s when I heard a shot ring out. Richie’s body jerked forward and I looked back to see the Ranger, surprisingly, in one piece. With a gunpoint directly at Richie. I looked back at Richie and saw the large red spot on his upper chest. He staggered and fell forward. The blood was all over Santanico’s face and she shifted, mad as all hell. Richie dropped the knife and she pushed Seth hard sending him into the Ranger not far behind him. And they both slid and hit the wall.

I moved back because the only thing between Santanico and the rest of us was me. There was literally no way I was going to even try to deal with that. I looked back at her as she steps back and grabbed Richie pulling him into the back and the metal grate closing behind her. Seth yelled for Richie. Like calling after him was going to change anything.

Seth picked up the very bloody and not snake/vampire Ranger. And pushed him into the bar. Now, considering what happened the last time these tried to resolve anything I knew it would come to blows and 0 talking. I was going to attempt help. Then Daddy Fuller put a shotgun to Seth’s head.

“Whoa, let’s all just relax and put all weapons down,” I announced.

“He didn’t die, he lived,” Kate pointed out. “He might know something.”

“I know a way out, but you're too stupid to listen,” he said pointedly.

“This guy thinks he’s Dirty Harry. That’s good because you’re are going to die bloody,” said Seth.

I was about to say something. However, I refrained because Daddy Fuller was pointing out how it was Seth’s fault Scott was now missing and/or dead.

“I second that,” I piped up. “Now, the Mexican standoff isn’t working. So, why don’t we ask the Ranger what hole he popped out of. Before we all become lunch.”

Daddy Fuller seemed to all of sudden remember I existed again. And turned around to look at me. I looked him back. He nodded and went back to poking Seth in the head with the shotgun.

“By your scripture, you raise that blade, I can splatter that melon of yours all over the room,” said Daddy Fuller.

Seth turned back while turning the Rangers head.

“You see this?! Huh! Looks like this little piggy already had a close encounter,” said Seth.

“I’m fine, there’s nothing wrong with me,” said the Ranger.

“Nothing was wrong with those bikers, either, until they got up and started chomping,” said Seth.

“I know a way out, it’s down that trap door over there through a hole,” said the Ranger.

It sounded like a last-ditch effort to keep himself alive. Not that I blamed him. I was basically doing the same with the deal I made with Richie. I wasn’t even sure that was still a legit deal.

“Down to where?” Asked Daddy Fuller.

“It’s a grinder...for flesh,” said the Ranger. “Get past, there might be an exit.”

“Thanks for the tip, but it’s the end of the line for you,” said Seth.

“Leaving him behind is like pulling the trigger. I say we vote on it,” said Daddy Fuller.

I hadn’t considered voting a thing as of now, but killing anyone at this moment would defeat the purpose of making it out of here. Strength in numbers.

“Does this look like a parish hall to you?” Seth shouted.”Huh?”

“All in favor of leaving the Ranger, raise your hand!” Daddy Fuller shouted.

Seth was first to raise his hand not that that surprised me. Kate, however, did next. He father shifted back and looked at her.

“Sorry, daddy, but you saw what happened to those bikers, he could turn on us,” she said.

Kate was a good girl she was just scared. Logically she definitely made the right choice. Morally however I could tell she didn’t want to leave him behind. Seth and the Ranger looked at the Professor.

“Professor?” the Ranger said.

He raised the wooden stake, in favor.

“Come on man, give me a break,” he said.

“I’m sorry, sheriff. It’s purely academic,” he said.

“What about you, Precious?” asked Seth.

“I’m not deciding. I’m neutral,” I said.

Seth seemed rather surprised and so did everyone else. I just shrugged and went into a crouch position. The alcohol to adrenaline ratio was resetting back to alcohol winning. Seth pulled the ranger off the bar and tied him to a pole on the bar.

“This ain’t over,” said the Ranger.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it is,” said Seth.

[lovemesomesurveys]

S/O to @iaintgotcontrol for finding a new survey! lol.

Looks and Personality

What do you look like? I have a face with freckles, brown eyes, a nose, and a mouth. I wear black rimmed glasses. I have long hair that goes past my butt. I naturally have dark brown hair, but I dye it red. I’m thin. Gangly.  How often do you bathe? I don’t take baths, but I shower every 1-2 days. How do you wear your hair? In a pony tail.

What colours do you tend to wear? I have a lot of black and gray with pops of other colors. Do you have any tattoos? What, where and why? No.

What kind of clothes do you wear? Comfy, casual clothes. I’m always in leggings and a comfy shirt. I own a LOT of leggings and graphic T’s.  What kind of jewellery do you wear? I haven’t worn any in years. I used to wear these 3 rings I have 24/7 until one day I took them off for some reason and just never put them back on since. That was probably like 5 years ago. I went through a phase where I was all about accessorizing and wore a ton of bracelets. I wore necklaces and earrings, too. Is there anything else you often wear? I’m always wearing socks. Would you say you had a “look”? I’ve gone through different phases like the preppy/girly and emo phase, but now I’m just very casual and comfy. When going out, do you dress up or down? My going out consists of going to the doctor, the movies, or Walmart. I don’t dress up for any of those things.  What do you wear to bed at home? Those comfy, causal clothes I’ve been talking about. What do you wear to bed when your somewhere else? Same thing. Is there a place you keep any prized/secret things whilst you’re away? No.  What’s your favourite food? Chicken tenders, boneless chicken wings (garlic parm), burritos, potatoes in various forms, eggs, spaghetti, meatballs, and pesto pasta. What’s your favourite drink? Coffee. What’s your favourite desert? Donuts, cupcakes, muffins. What’s your favourite type of food (e.g Mexican)? American, Italian, and Mexican. Do you have any mental problems? Yes. Do you have any phobias? What? Why do you think you have this/them? Yes. Why might somebody dislike you? Because I keep to myself these days and have been very distant and withdrawn from everyone outside of my immediate family. I’m very moody. I don’t put any effort into maintaining friendships anymore. Or any effort into much of anything. I haven’t been a good friend at all to the friends I used to have.  What skill do you possess that you are most proud of? I don’t feel like I have any.  What is your greatest strength (e.g. honest, loyal, brave)? I... don’t know. What’s your greatest shortcoming or flaw (e.g. cowardly, alcoholic)? I have a lot of those. Who do you most admire? My mom and younger brother. Who do you most love? My family. What three things do you look for most in a partner? Good sense of humor, understanding, patient.  Do you like crowds? Nooo. I don’t well with crowds. What are your hobbies? Tumblr/surveys, watching YouTube, coloring, reading, watching TV. If you can’t get to sleep in the middle of the night, what do you do? So every night? At night I do my Bible study, watch YouTube, watch TV, and read. What is your favourite animal? Dogs and giraffes. What is your favourite colour? Pastels. If you could ask God (to athiests - IF there was one) one question, what? I mean, there’s a lot I’d like to know but some things we aren’t meant to know or are beyond our comprehension. Things will be revealed when they’re meant to, if they’re meant to be. Rate yourself on these traits from 0 to 10. 0 - do not possess this trait. 10 - you have great amounts of this trait. Calm temper Charm Cheerfulness Confidence Courtesy Curiousity Forgiveness Generosity Greed Helpfulness Honesty Loyalty Optimism Patience Self-sacrafice Wit Background Where were you born and raised? California. Briefly describe your family. Loving, supportive, encouraging, funny.  You must choose one - your childhood was calm/peaceful or tragic/turbulent? Calm and peaceful out of these choices. I had obstacles and struggles with health related things, but honestly those aren’t what stick out the most to me. I was a very resilient, strong kid. I’m a very weak, scared adult.  Did you have any rolemodels? My mom and grandma. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you? I’d say the incident that made me a paraplegic at 7 months old takes home the trophy for that category.  How did it affect you? In every single way from that day forward. Have you ever had any recurring nightmares or themes in nightmares? Yes. As a kid I remember one of the reoccurring nightmares I had was Ghostface chasing me with a knife. I was so scared of Scream for the longest, but I love the movies now. ha. What were they? Death and being chased. Do you currently have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No. Do you have any close friends? I have my family. Briefly describe your best friend: My mom is so strong-willed and hardworking. Very giving. Very outgoing and social. She’s also very funny and sarcastic. She loves her some ID (Investigative Discovery) and Game of Thrones. Any enemies? No. Who? What are they like? Would you risk your life for your best friend?(not lover or family member!) My best friend is a family member, though. And yes. With who was your most important romantic relationship? I haven’t had a serious relationship. Of what are you most proud? :/ Of what are you most ashamed? The person I’ve become over the last 4 years. I really hate this person I’ve become.  Alignment, Ethics and Religion What is your religion? Christian. Where do you stand on abortion? Where do you stand on the death penalty? I’m on the fence. Where do you stand on wearing fur? I don’t wear fur or use real leather. Do you have a moral code that you follow? What? I mean, yes? Could you kill somebody? I can’t ever imagine myself being able to do that, but it’s something you don’t really know unless you find yourself in a situation that could lead to that. For what reason would you kill somebody? The only reason I could think of is self-defense, but even then I still can’t imagine killing someone.  Would you SERIOUSLY CONSIDER killing anybody right now? No, sheesh. Do you trust easily, or not? Trust isn’t a big issue with me, I just have a hard time opening up and expressing myself to people and sharing my feelings. What are your political beliefs (anarchy, communism, democracy etc.)? What, if anything, WOULD you sacrifice your life for? If it meant saving a loved one. Would you ever, for any reason, abandon your friends in an hour of need? That’s what I’ve done over these last few years. :( Motivation

What are your dreams/ambitions/goals? That’s the problem... I don’t have any. How do you plan to reach them? How would your ideal partner look? Not say looks don’t matter at all, but I’m more concerned with personality.

Do you ever want to have a family someday? With children? I can’t see that happening. Who would you want to start this family with, or do you not yet know? What would stop you from reaching your goals (e.g. death, retirement fund)? My health. What do you see yourself doing next year? I have to take it day by day, hour by hour, man. What do you see yourself doing in twenty years? Yikes. Would you ever have an affair? No, I truly don’t think so. Would you ever have a one night stand? No. What are your greatest fears? Losing my loved ones. More information If you had a month of nothing (no work, no obligations) what would you do? That’s been my life for the past few years and it hasn’t been a good thing. It dug me in a deep hole for depression. How do you relax? Listen to ASMR. What one thing would you change in this world (free Tibet, abolish Sweden)? No more violence.  Would you ever choose a career or job where your life was at risk? No. Why? How would you like to be remembered after your death? “When my time comes, forget the wrong that I’ve done, help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.” Random questions Where you present at any major historical events (e.g. 9/11)? No. How did they affect you? Do you have any famous relatives? No. Do you have to try and live up to your family’s expectations? My family doesn’t put any ridiculous or impossible expectations on me. All they want is for me to be healthy and happy, but for some reason I can’t seem to get my shit together and take care of myself like I should. Are you a loyal member of any organizations? No. General Information Name: Stephanie. Age: 29. Date Of Birth: July 28th. Race: Caucasian, Mexican, and some Filipino that I know of. I really want to do one of those DNA tests to see exactly what I am. Height: I’d be about 5′4. Weight: Mid 70s (lbs). Are you happy with this? No. I need to put on some weight. Desired weight: I used to be mid 80s-low 90s. Sexual orientation: Straight. First language: English. Second/Third/Fourth etc. languages (if any): I’m only fluent in English. Why did you take this survey? I hadn’t taken it before and I wanted to do a survey.

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

I’m Not That Easy Mr. Kim [25]

Words: 1.1k (shorter, but got some nasty words in this one folks)

Pt:  00 / 01 / 02 / 03 / 04 / 05 / 06 / 07 / 08 / 09 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21 / 22 / 23 / 24 /

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Taehyung had stepped into the vacant room, arms crossed as he shut the door, just enough to leave it cracked and unlatched in case he needed a quick way out.  He couldn't’ stand his father, and he knew that his self control had to be under his wraps or else all hell would break loose.  He already knew what his father was going to say before he opened his mouth and took his first breath.  

“Who is she.”  It was hardly a question.  A demand, a statement.  Information he was going to get, one way or another.

“She’s my date.  What does it look like to you?  I know your getting up there in age, but surely your eyes can’t be going quiet yet, old man.” His father practically hissed at him.  

“I do not know her face, nor her name.  Who. Is. She.”  Taehyung glared at him.

“Y/L/N Y/N.  A worker at Landscape-”

“That low rate beauty shab?”  He interrupted his son with his voice that sounded almost offended.  Someone of such low ranking being in his party guest list.  Unthinkable.  Taehyung bit back a rather harsh insult at his tone and kept talking as if not interrupted.

“-Beauty and my date tonight.  I’ve brought her with me for my own reasons, so you have no say in it.  You can’t control everything in my life, as much as you might think you can.”  His father snarled at him.  

“This is not a playground.”

“Of course, I’m aware of that.”  

“Yet you’ve brought a child to a world of adults and business.  How immaturely thought of you.  Are you truly my son, fit for running such a thriving corporation by bringing an immature, money seeking whore?”  Taehyung’s anger was shot off.  

“Watch what you say about her.  She is nothing like what you presume all people with less than million dollars to their name to be.  She’s someone that you would be lucky to speak to, given the chance, but I assure you, you’ll never get it.  She’s far above your league, so back the hell off.”

“She is an under-classed neanderthal!”

“She is mine, so shut your goddamn mouth!” Taehyung had grabbed a small vase nearest to him and thrown it against the nearest wall in frustration.  He couldn’t openly hit his father, it wouldn’t be pretty because he knew he wouldn’t stop at a single blow.  He could deal with his father’s harsh rulings, his terrible parenting, his ideals of putting work before family, his stupid opinions and bad habits.  But, he absolutely refused to hear him mutter anything about you.

“Yours?  What, don’t tell me you’re actually infatuated with that thing?” Not even referring to you as a person.  Taehyung’s blood was boiling and soon it’s going to boil over and burn.

“She is not a thing.  She is a person, a human woman.  Do not refer to her as an object.”  

“You can’t be serious about her.  What is it.  What does she have that’s making you stay.  Her looks, her tempestuous ways, her body, her ways in bed perhaps?”  Boiling over and over, closer to the top of his anger level.  He was going to burst.  

“I thought I told you to shut your mouth.”

“You can’t possibly say you love the girl, she’s-”

“What in the hell would you know about love?!”  Tae shouted, interrupting his father.  “For the entirety of my life, you’ve not known what love is.  Mom left because of you, I’ve grown up without a father my entire life.  Being raised on people in the house and the people and teachers at school before Jin finally met me in college.  I’m independent, and that’s because you don’t know how to love.  You only ‘love’ your work, and that’s all you care about.  So don’t you dare talk down to me for being in love with someone.”

“What are you saying.  You’re not truly-”

“I’m in love with that woman out there.”  He pointed back at the door.  “I’m in love with her, and I’ll continue to love her for as long as I live, and no one will stop me.  I don’t care if she doesn’t love me back, so long as she never leaves my life, I’ll be happy.  So, for the last damn time, I’ll tell you to shut your fat ass mouth and listen to me.”  And shockingly enough, he does.  

“That woman is everything I’ve wanted for years, I’m not seeking whores to sooth my hurting wounds or stress, I’m seeking her comfort and warmth.  She would never sell her body, ever, and it took me more effort than any task I’ve ever done just to be called her friend.  She didn’t trust me, and I didn’t trust myself, but here we are.  I’m too deep into her to come back and I don’t care,I don’t want to come back.  You especially won’t stop me from returning.”  

It was silent as Taehyung took a breath.  He couldn’t stay here anymore.  He had to leave or else he would start a fight. a much bigger one than this petty argument.  Break another vase. Something would happen and he couldn’t let it

“Excuse me,” and with that, he turned back to the door and rushed out of the room, running his hand through his hair as he rested against a wall to catch his breath.  He’d never said anything about his feelings out loud before, though he always thought them.  It was so strange to say out loud that he loved you, and to his father no less.  

He hoped that he could tell you, but it scared him.  He would wait, he wouldn’t jeopardize what he’s finally managed to make with you yet.  He wasn’t willing to give you up because of his impatience to be yours, and you be his.  He could wait. he had to. 

As he marched back into the main ballroom, a figure had popped out of a hidden cutaway between walls as they watched his back march off, being engulfed in the light of the ballroom and disappear among the bodies of rich cloth.  They gripped at their chest, having heard everything that went down in the room with his father and himself.  All the words, the anger, the sound of the vase shattering against the wall.  All of it.  And then they chased after him, prepared to give him company for the rest of his evening.

However, before racing completely back down the hall, they stopped in the open doorway his father was now beginning to exit.  They met his gaze, offering only a cold, harsh and unfaltering glare his way.  With a turn of their head, they rushed off into the crowd, leaving the cold CEO with a bad taste in his mouth.  

That someone who hear everything and chased after Kim Taehyung, was you.