#I NEED to remember to censor names i am so so scared of my posts ending up in game or character tags bc tumblrs search system sucks ass

[eldragon-x]

Love the idea of 5iffrin feeling like they're demanding "too much" in a sexual relationship. Like it lines up with them generally feeling they're too greedy for affection and take more than they deserve but it's also funny in a way because he usually wants to do things that would just be foreplay to most people. He's just like me for real (asexual who's worried about being too horny and weird).

[lilacartsmadsion]

I am scared to talk about this, and have been for a while.

Am I really the asshole in this situation? Am I really racist and fucked up for headcanon-ing berserk cacao as a (sort of) mindless beast? Because I am actually beginning to believe so.

I and some others are being harassed for having different interpretations of Berserk Cacao.

Let me explain

Basically I was banned from RiverArts server about my fic about Berserk cacao eating pomegranate, which I deleted when I understood how fucked up it was, and understandably they felt uncomfortable.

But then they went as far as to post it on twitter, without censoring me and the other 14 YEAR OLD’S names, and basically ‘expose’ me and @cakehoundsyndrome and their friend for their supposed ‘racism’ towards cacao. And these are basically adults. Also, I just need to call out the hypocrisy of River for a second that @randomspagetti also made a point on in twitter, is that they got mad at @cakehoundsyndrome for making licorice be abused in their past when they did the same to wildberry.

And also, most people on twitter agreed with Minty0oz and RiverArt in calling us racist and saying we’re fucked up and saying we’ve crossed the line.

I believe the line was crossed when you all decided to harass 14 year olds.

And may I add, we have apologised so many times, but they have actively ignored them and chose to keep harassing us.

Please..I need you and @kotymeaw’s opinion.

Ahem-

Although I do respect those who actively try and actively promote portraying black people as monsters being bad,

However I will say a few things…

1.) Do not harass 14 year olds OR MINORS, for headcanoning something that they did not know was wrong.

I would like to remind you that some of us 14 year olds were not accustomed to racial representation in our early lives, some of us are not aware there are DO’s and DONT’s when it comes to racial representation. Therefore as the ADULTS in the situation, you should know better than to actively bully and harass a minor for their mistakes and behavior. That does not do them good in the future.

(Speaking from someone who was ACTIVELY BULLIED FOR HAVING AN OPINION OR BEING HERSELF IN REAL LIFE TO THE POINT WHERE PEOPLE TOLD ME ‘DO NOT BE FRIENDS SHE’S BAD’ TO MY FACE! I WAS A FUCKING CHILD, IT DID NOT HELP ME AT ALL I WAS BULLIED INTO FUCKING INTENSE SOCIAL ANXIETY)

Harassing people for making mistakes even after they apologize and try their damnest to make a mistake. (AND HAVING AN APOLOGY THAT IS BETTER THAN COLLEEN.) WILL NOT turn them into a better person, perhaps, you’ll turn them out for the worst.

What if you harass someone for that and they never put racial representation in their works again because their scared of getting it wrong? That can happen.

Especially if you harass MINORS, most of the time minors are still children, they still need to grow on their own pace, trying to teach them through bullying and harassment won’t help them, it will only make them worse or make them disappear off the face of the fucking planet.

2.) Berserk Cacao has not been confirmed to be a derivative of his trauma nor was it derived from Pomegranate’s spell.

Pomegrante’s spell might have activated it, BUT-! She lost control of the spell THEN Cacao went Berserk.

The moment Cacao RESISTED Pomegranate lost control of the spell and Cacao went Berserk, causing him to lose control as well.

Berserk Cacao is only created by Cacao’s sheer will and need to defend himself, not a result of his trauma. Pomegranate remarks ‘Is this the power of the Soul Jam?’ Meaning even she underestimated how powerful Cacao was.

I want you to remember that Cacao has the powers of A GOD in his hands, the Ancients are canonically OP as fuck. Cacao ‘Split the Day and Night’ in his story when fighting dragons, Pure Vanilla sealed a WHOLE ASS KINGDOM WITH HIS SHEER MIGHT ALONE WITHOUT ANY SOUL JAM! Hollyberry can SINGLE HANDEDLY DEAL WITH ANY DRAGON.

So in lore technically yes, Cacao can resist Pomegranate’s mind spell. It’s just a misconception that Pomegranate had control over the situation.

Berserk Cacao was not created by trauma, he was created as a defensive mechanism from Cacao’s sheer will alone. However, Cacao mindlessly attacked because he thought he was in incredible danger, he started attacking his subjects, the main crew and even Pomegranate herself the cookie who they said WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION was scared of Cacao.

And this is a power established by the Soul Jam.

(Look, I’m an overthinker, and though I am currently procrastinating on the lore of CRK, I did NOT procrastinate on a whole lore about the damn Soul Jam because damnit do I need it for my own fanfic, wanna know why I joined this darn fandom, FOR THE LORE AND FOR THE THEORIES SO YOU CAN CALL ME MATPAT FOR ALL I CARE!)

Again…

Please DO NOT HARASS 14 year olds for their mistakes it is your job as adults to GUIDE THEM.

I don’t care if you’re 16 or 15 YOU ARE THEIR SENIOR YOU ARE THEIR ELDEST YOU ARE THEIR EXAMPLE YOU DO NOT HARASS THEM.

Because they’re either gonna destroy themselves or others. Who knows they might learn to harass others everytime they do something wrong.

Why am I saying this? That’s literally my role in real life, I am an elder sister of one. And she gets into a lot of toxic people in her life. If I see you doing this again, Be sure I’ll make you feel a taste of your own medicine and dig up some old wounds.

DO NOT HARASS MINORS, you adults SHOULD KNOW BETTER. You are the adults, they are the teenagers. You are supposed to be teachers, guides and examples for them, NOT THE SOURCE OF THEIR PAIN. BE BETTER EXAMPLES.

[throwaway2763]

Hey, I don’t know how to start this, this isn’t the kind of thing I would usually post but I feel like if I don’t do something, no one will, I’m using a throwaway for my own safety and mental health

This is about a member of the object show community who harassed me, and others, please forgive me as I don’t remember their username clearly, but I believe it was Retroslope or something close to it.

All names will be censored but theirs will not be. (me in pink, unrelated people in white and other victim in blue)

When I was 15, and they were around 19, we were in a discord server together, I won’t name it as I don’t want all of this brought back to me, I’m scared of them.

I was on the mod team and a little strict, which caused people to hate me, Retroslope (who from now I will call TB as that’s what I knew them by) created a server outside of the one we were in originally making fun of dreamsexuals, then they created a channel specifically to bully me, it started as a joke, calling me annoying and such, but soon it turned into jokes about zoophilia, which I am not and am completely disgusted by

(Screenshots for proof of what they said)

[2 screenshots from a discord server, one saying “(censored name) resisting the urge to fuck the caged goats at the zoo” the other saying “But I fucking hate (censored name) if I could I would absolutely tell her how annoying she is” “I bet she’s gonna go to the vent channel because of this”]

[Discord screenshot of a channel named “shit on (censored name) bitch ass wanna be mother fucking cunt ass bitch boy looking ass dsmp wanna be fuck”]

I went into this server and me and my friends started yelling at them, which at first I believed myself to be in the wrong for this reaction

In this server it was also revealed that the person they had a queer platonic relationship with, and fell asleep on calls with, was 12 years old

They continuously sent Vore and other fetish art into a public server full of minors (I was In it) as a joke, a member who was around 16 years old would also make jokes about TB having their kids and TB would laugh about it (name censored for their own privacy)

[discord screenshot reading “TB YOU’RE LIKE THE HOTTEST PERSON EVER I WANT TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN /P”]

Just before this they got that same member to be their friend by saying “they have no one else” and they’ve gotten attached to them and can’t let go (remember, 16 and 19)

[a discord screenshot “saying the only reason i still interact with tb is because i feel like i have to. he has no one else because gb left him and he clings to me sometimes :/”]

Later once all their accounts were banned from the server they made another one, to DM me and “start over” and I believed them, of course this wasn’t true, as they went back to their disgusting behaviour

They made me believe I was the bad guy for shipping a male character with a lesbian coded character (Gelatin x lollipop) which I no longer ship btw

I felt horribly guilty for my overreaction

Now this I can’t talk on as much as it was told to me second hand, but there was a second person who was also harassed, (the 16 year old mentioned before) where they would make jokes like the one seen before towards eachother, and soon they got extremely attached as TB made them believe they were good friends

As for myself, TB made me believe they’d changed, so I continued contact, joining a server where they would frequently traumadump to minors

I started to get an attachment and trying my best to give them love and support, I’m unsure if this counts as grooming however

I’m sorry for the long post but I needed to say something

In summary, Retroslope:

- made zoophila jokes about me when I was 15

- made a channel specifically to bully me

- groomed people

- sent fetish art to minors as “a joke”

- had a qpr with a 12 year old who they would fall asleep on calls with (they were around 18 or 19 at the time)

- had a discord where they’d traumadump to kids

So sorry to dig up something that happened a year ago but this isn’t petty drama, this person could be a genuine danger, although I haven’t interacted with them since this event so I’m unsure if they’re even still active

I’m not asking for this to become a big situation, I don’t want any attention on me for this, and I don’t want them to be “cancelled” all I want is for what they did to be known (if anyone has proof of the second hand claims being false please let me know)

[advrageobjectshowenjoyer]

I’ve not been doing well and I need to know

I’ve been trying not to harm myself or do stupid shit but it’s gotten to a point where I’m not sure if I can just hold myself back. I’ve been trying not to make some fuck ass account to post nudes and shit cut myself for some bitch to Jack off too but it’s like. I got no one to talk to when I do talk I have to censor myself to not seem crazy. I just want someone to actually egnolage my existence at this point and it’s like. People like hurt people people like sex. Sex sells, and I just really want someone to just talk to me about anything just compliment me oh how’s your day going or ask me out or anything but instead I can’t even leave my house without being laughed at for my interests at school or for walking weird or for my stutter for everything and it’s like I killl myself or become a prostatue one is a great thing to do and it comes with being remembered and loved and the other is prositituon. I want to be remembered I want someone to look back and laugh and make fun of me I want someone to think of me but who thinks of me? My friends forget I exist my family forgets my name so who remembers my existence? If I die everyone knows who I am if I live is it really noble? I’m ugly im autistic I’m queer I’m fucking colored I got struck 5 times with shit I don’t want I want to do stupid shit like be in the tcc fandom because I’m a fucking weirdo I want to make sparkle dogs I want to be known for being me and my art for my looks for anything but instead I’m known for being told to shut up by a teacher for talking too much about a topic. I wish teachers actually talked or knew me I wish my classmates actually tried to talk to me without making fun of me I wish my friends wanted to hang out I wish I had people crushing on me or wanting to go out I wish I wasn’t the butt of every joke I wish I wasn’t made fun of to the point of suicide. It’s not fair how others can turn around and just be someone without struggling or harming yourself like look at me I’m blessing look at me I’m fighting please ask if I’m ok please talk to me please actually talk to me not just say your here to listen but never actually comment on what I say. I want bad things to happen to me so someone cares I want bad things to happen to me so I have a reason to be angry at the world I want to be raped and hurt and saed and beat and shot and kidnapped and live just so people would wonder who I was or how I was I want to be a VICTEM so people care about me. I am a VICTEM but who cares? I can be saed over and over and over again but it doesn’t matter I deserve it they won’t ask if I’m ok just well I told you to wear pants when he’s over. I want someone to just harrass and stalk me and threaten me so I can be scared but someone thinks about me they think about me right? I want someone to just hold me and talk to me like I’m human not some animal who needs to be taught tricks I want someone who understands me who doesn’t make fun of my speech and can understand my language who can understand how I think and walk and everything but I’m typing this alone bleeding in my bedroom gonna go to sleep and do this again tommorow.

I’m not even out of school yet I just need something or someone this isn’t fair.

[hobimo]

sorry if i keep sending you asks i think it would feel a lil weird to dm bc my accounts on sns tend to be kind of throwaway accounts bc i don't know how to build an online presence prob freaks ppl out lol but yeah exactly you can tell that a lot of new jikookers experienced fan fiction for the first time with jikook so they just be reading and writing whatever. no critical thinking just big cocks and alpha knots is what it takes. the thing is that imo years ago you used to like a pairing and then get inspired by them to make up stories/characters, whereas i feel that now jikookers first and foremost see jm and jk's relationship and personalities in That specific way and it translates to fics as well. they keep saying it's just fiction but i don't buy it lmao i think it's the opposite so yeah it kinda fucks the whole thing up yk. OH btw i know that author!!! i have one of their naruto fics saved in my bookmarks so i'm def familiar w them, i'll check it out! ty <3

(i'll censor the names just in case) yeah they're rly good! hmm rk1ve1nk did an interesting spin on omegaverse in Forest,F1re. very animalistic even though the characters were made in a lab, super unique fic. Mo0nJar by them too is pretty cool. changing genres completely, user cartograph1c writes these weird lil fics, def recommended!!

HEELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i swear i get so excited when i see you in my inbox hello hello hello

yessssss surveycorpsjean has been Around writing bangers. i am just discovering bakudeku the last few months tho so im extra insane about them 👍also recommend watching trigun for normal reasons (please. please please please please we need more people with trigun brainrot. if u like the hanged man archetype and characters doomed by the narratve and tragic siblings you will Love trigun.)

thank you very much for the fic recs!!!!!!! i have heard of the first author but cant think of the fic ive read so i will check it out. im such a fucking sucker for super animalistic a/b/o..... that furry shit is so good

i have so many thoughts about the way people talk and think about jimin these days but im so scared putting them on public posts will get me doxxed or some shit. people are very attached to the idea that jimin acts openly queer which is really like. well. yeah. i definitely think people reallyyyy need to remember it doesnt matter how much you believe someone famous is queer theyre just presenting in a way that makes them happy and you really do NOT need to decide whether that's queer or not lmao in fact i think it says way more about someone when they decide he's queer because he doesnt act like a "typical man". like yeah in his performances obviously he explores gender some times but like sometimes songwriters are also exploring themes and thoughts that are purely creative. sometimes its not about them (and sometimes it is!) but. yeah. you can PERCEIVE him as queer if it makes you happy but you gotta remember thats not fact thats just what YOU think. yknow. and i also think this translates kinda into the fic people consume and create.

like here's the thing. people dont need to ACT a certain way to be considered men like thats ridiculous if youre a man youre a man regardless of how you act or what u say or what bits you have. same for any gender. which is why i generally think critiquing the cringey wattpad fics is a slippery slope. however, do i also think a lot of them have a very distinct cishet girl fantasy..... yes. but its embarrassing to write Y/N fic. so theyve gotta vent their desires somehow which is like fine i dont give a shit what people write. (as much as it bothers me how uncritically people read it and get it popular) but sometimes in a/b/o especially....... its VERY clear when your biases come out. which is why its sooooooooo obvious when someone who has never met real life queer people writes it. for example grouping "women and omegas" like they fill the same role despite being different subgenders when u could specify like. omegas and female betas. if u wanted. implying that women are still women even if theyre alpha but omegas are not men anymore. you get me? the fact that u decided to include male/female gender essentialism in the fic genre specifically around Not doing that is so unbelievably on the nose. and yet i see it everywhere. (i also think this is a symptom of people never having read other fandoms tho. they dont even know about gock [girl cock]).

also fics where the major antagonists are a group of girls that harrass jimin r super mean bc god we cant have a MAN do that or he's a predator. you get me? and the alpha jk who is quiet and broody and doesnt even HAVE to fight bc he's soooooooo strong the other alphas are just scared of his vibes. like you know the type of fic im describing. in general whenever the major antagonist of the fic is a bunch of women who also want to fuck jk (which like. if we're supposed to believe jk is soooo hot... like. they should?) and the author calls them a "gaggle" of women and emphasises how they "giggle" and their high pitched unpleasant voices..... brother we have some serious internalised misogyny to unpack with that one.

sorry this is such a massive rant I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS. IVE READ SO MUCH BAD FIC IVE NOTICED SO MUCH

[azems-familiar]

hello! are there any songs you associate with any of the kotor characters? (totally not asking bc my brain is hungry for animatic ideas haha,,)

OH BOY DO I HAVE SONGS

first things first, i will direct you to my twelve hour Revan playlist that i use for writing vibes, it's a mixture of vocal and instrumental and it has both a bunch of Revan songs for different eras of Revan, plus revalek songs, plus some revastila songs, plus some songs that just vibe.... it's good and most of the songs i'm about to highlight, if not all of them, are on there already.

NOW. HERE WE GO.

first things first, i need to introduce you to the title song for my mandalorian wars fic, oblivion by the aviators! god, this song doesn't fit all Revans perfectly, but it fits mine so well it was like it'd been written for her specifically, i swear. listening to the song was what inspired me to write the fic to begin with (and now i have a whole series oops). i mean, come on, look at the chorus:

Let the broken heroes rise Let the victors take their prize No one wins when justice dies War has let this age begin It's where we've gone and where they've been What a state that we're in Here in oblivion

can't look at that and tell me that isn't Jedi Knight Revan and the war that broke them.

next up!! liar by the arcadian wild, my beloved. this song is currently my top all time on spotify, closely followed by the song i'm going to rec after it and then achilles come down - and the fact that anything unseated achilles for the top spot should tell you something. (and if you don't know what achilles come down is look it up that one's on my playlist too.) this is a really good one for Revan's slow fall down, the corruption arc - again, all of the songs i'm mentioning really fit my own versions of the characters best, but they're just good in general. some of the lyrics i enjoy from this one:

hnext up, we have it all by pim stones. this particular one feels very revalek to me, early in the Sith years when they still maybe had good intentions, maybe after the war but before becoming Darth. there's this softer, almost desperate tone to the way the singer sings it that just hits me hard - this is the song i'm using as the title for my Sith years interlude fic! a lyric snippet:

All my life I've been heading for hell But never had I thought I'd drag you down as well I just couldn't resist what he was trying to sell

There's glory ahead but our love will be forgotten If my heart was still mine I would go to the bottom And apologise to you until the day it went rotten

next up we have the balancer's eye by lord huron, which is the song i named my series after (have you noticed a trend yet?). it's a very Revan vibe in general, and while i'm not as much of a fan of the style, the lyrics are really excellent!

Nothing's waiting for us in the great sky Life is equal to dust in the balancer's eye Now I know that I can't lift an old curse Tell me, how does a man change the universe?

Will I ever be forgiven for the crime of my life? Will it haunt me 'til I die?

mmm let's see what next. OH! go to war by nothing more. this is just straight up a Sith years song for revalek, whether you ship them or not - they were important to each other either way! ..... i am not going to tangent into yelling about revalek. that is not what this is for. anyway, the song itself is a) a banger and b) talking about love corrupting and falling apart and it just. it hits, man

Do we censor? Do we flow? Are we drunk on the chemicals? Every feeling in my bones Tells me to lash out and tell you to fuck off You've got my heart and I've got your soul But are we better off alone? With every battle we lose a little more Remember everything that we'd die for You are everything that I'd die for

oooh NEXT we have the song i was going to use for my Jaw Scene before i decided to write a full sith years fic. saints by echos is the song, and again, we've got Sith years Revan and Malak here (yes yes i have a type), the vibes of losing faith and anger and it blends really well with how Revan basically played off being a legendary figure to the Republic to fuel their war against it!

You were standing there like an angry god Counting out my sins just to cross them off Saying that my tongue was too loud to trust And that my blood couldn't keep you

My dear, you're not so innocent You're fooling Heaven's gates So you won't have to change You're no saint, you're no savior

mmmm okay the discord has informed me that ten (10) songs is the maximum i should do in one post so. i will only do four more. chrysalis - the last breath by delain is yet another Sith Revan and Malak song and honestly you can read it as a response to the song above, if you think of saints from Malak's pov and chrysalis from Revan's, they mesh really well together.

Hey, are you still mad? About the time We almost went too far I know your regrets In my defense; By now, it's just a scar That distracts you from Your broken heart Like you wanted it to do How do you feel? I don't... How do you know? You won't... To let go of you I will try Until my last breath How do you feel? I don't... How do you know? You won't... To let go I promise I will fight

next! for a complete change of pace, i have a revastila song for you - warrior by beth crowley. it somehow manages to capture exactly the dynamic i think of in my head when i think about Bastila, the uncertainty, the forbiddeness of it, but the way Revan ultimately strengthens her and she strengthens Revan

You fascinated me Cloaked in shadows and secrecy The beauty of a broken angel

I ventured carefully Afraid of what you thought I'd be But pretty soon, I was entangled

You take me by the hand I question who I am

uhhhhhh i am desperately trying to think of songs that aren't just about Revan but instead here i am with another Mandalorian Wars Revan song, what did we know by rachel rose mitchell! this song was introduced to me by the same friend who sent me oblivion, and it really captures the fall of the Mandalorian wars incredibly well imo - the way it started with righteousness but ended in pain (compassion leading to destruction and that's a ramble i'm not going on here either), and there's this line in there that i'm not including in my snippet that's what scares me more than anything / if we could choose the past / we'd probably choose the same and it's like. yes! that's it! i'm going to once again go insane over the scene in the Korriban tomb in kotor 2!!! knowing the price.... would you choose to do it all again........ aaaaaaaa

It's been so long since we began. It seems so long ago That in the name of loyalty We started on our own. Answering the call of a house we once called home, We knew that we were right. What did we know?

We swore that we understood this wasn't a game, But somehow we found ourselves fanning the flames. Those who cautioned and abandoned us, they were the same. I saw them turn away.

the final song i'm doing is the song i used when i wrote the Betrayal scene from Malak's pov, the little things give you away by linkin park. this one just. it vibes, it vibes hard, goes really into the actual grief of betrayal, and also has a super epic instrumental solo so there's that. as usual, lyric snippet:

Don't want to reach for me, do you? I mean nothing to you The little things give you away But now there will be no mistaking The levees are breaking

All you've ever wanted Was someone to truly look up to you And six feet under water, I do

All you've ever wanted Was someone to truly look up to you And six feet underground now I Now I do

god okay now that you're completely overwhelmed and never want to talk to me again....... i should've probably put this under a readmore but eh. thanks for the ask!

[mellowmoonn]

Writing Help - Genres

As a writer, you really need to know what age group you intend to write for. Depending on the age, you may need to censor yourself or glaze over some heavier topics. Think of ATLA and how they never actually stated Jet died but instead insinuated it. Or, in YA novels when characters get close and the narrator skips over the most NSFW parts of the sex scene. 

Disclaimer: Keep in mind I’m writing from my knowledge and what I remember reading at a certain age. Some research has been done for accuracy. I also don’t enjoy adult novels, particularly because they tend to be too much for me (...there tends to be lots of NSFW). With that said, forgive me if the examples aren’t amazing.

Who Do You Want to Write For?

Understanding who you want to write for makes the process much easier. If you want to write horror books for children because there aren’t enough of them, great. You can then proceed to write down your ideas and focus on the scare factor as well as how detailed you want your descriptions to be. Less is more, especially for younger kids. A single sentence in middle-grade horror can disturb even me. And trust me, most things don’t bother me.

Once you know what to write for, you can study your demographic more. By that, I simply mean what people your age are interested in. This isn’t saying you cannot write what you want to for who you want to write it for, but looking at the demographics will get your book(s) out there. For example, children might not enjoy or understand romance but gravitate more to adventure, comedy, slice of life, or superhero stuff. 

What Do These Genres Entail?

You need to know what you’re getting yourself into when you write, so I’m going to give you a shortlist of genres and the content that is appropriate for each. Assuming most aren’t writing for children younger than 5, I won’t include those genres.

Remember to do your own research.

Children (5-8)

Due to childhood development, this genre varies quite a bit. I’ll generalize for simplicity.

Children between the ages of five and eight typically begin to independently read. Development varies, but using simpler language and including pictures aids them in taking in the content and understanding it.

From younger to older children: picture books, comics, short chapter books. It depends on their development and interests as well. 

Even in picture books, these are usually longer than for younger children. They never exceed 100 pages and often have larger fonts.

Characters are usually animals or younger children (some with their parents).

Book examples: Pete the Cat, Poppleton, The Magic Tree House, Fantastic Mr. Fox

Middle Grade (8-12)

Pictures are still relevant sometimes, but it depends on the book. Most kids this age can visualize and don’t need much unless it’s something like fantasy or horror (Coraline has an edition with pictures as well as a disturbing graphic novel).

Slang begins to be included at this age and more mature language. Depending on the book, simple swears like “crap” or “damn” may be used. Insults begin to pop up as jokes and body humor are more appropriate at this age.

Sometimes romance makes its way into these books, but kids these ages still gravitate to things that aren’t so “gross.” 

Middle-Grade books begin to exceed that 100-page mark and chapter book series with a logical plot and/or order comes about. 

Characters are typically human, but supernatural creatures are popular in novels in this age group.

Book examples: Coraline, Ramona’s World, Because of Winn Dixie, Charlotte’s Web, Goosebumps

Young Adult (12-18)

You (typically) won’t catch pictures in a YA book, rather vivid descriptions. The only time pictures are in books is when maps are included. Pictures are an author’s choice.

YA is also a very large genre with varying developmental stages. Some books gravitate more to middle grade, others new adult.

The genres of books boom in YA because so much more can be done. You will catch books that are strictly romance, others crime, and even mystery. 

Swearing is no longer avoided in YA novels. Characters will openly say fuck a thousand times and no one looks twice. 

YA books tend to have deeper conversations than books for younger audiences. Killing off main characters isn’t looked down upon. These books also tend to speak about and represent sex, but never in grave detail. Characters will never get past removing clothing. The issue of sex in YA is also a controversial topic that is pretty interesting when looked into.

The themes of YA books are ones that teenagers typically experience. This could be gender, sexuality, self-worth, etc.

YA books are usually between 200 and 500 pages. It depends on whether it is a novella, stand-alone, or series.

Characters are in middle or high school, to which the readers can relate to. The home and parents are also relevant. Lots of talk about family life and such.

Book Examples: The Fault in Our Stars, The Book Thief, Divergent, The Hunger Games, The Catcher in the Rye

New Adult (18-25)

Once again, pictures are usually maps and such.

NA does everything a YA does in more detail. It’s the genre for people who like YA but want a bit more or don’t want to be held back as much. When your target audience doesn’t involve children, your creative freedom can run (nearly) wild.

Sex scenes are explicit. No one questions a sex scene in a NA, nor censors them in the way YA does. The narrator doesn’t have to glaze over this, rather describing the emotional and physical aspects of it as they would with anything else.

In comparison to YA, NA books tackle different themes. A NA book might not focus on growing up, rather the independence or struggle of having grown up. More adult things such as struggles for housing and finance might arise differently than it would to someone younger watching their parents struggle and going down along with them.

NA books tend to fall in the same page range as YA books. Again, very similar, but not the same. Think of YA as the bridge between YA and Adult. A little more, but not too much.

Characters are typically between the age range of the readers, but they don’t have to be. 

Book Examples: A Court of Thorns and Roses, Lily and the Octopus, Red White and Royal Blue, Code Name: Verity, The Good Girl

Adult (25+)

Keep in mind that I do not read adult books...

I’ve never heard of photos in adult novels. Correct me if I am wrong.

Nothing is really off-limits in adult books. Anything you could ever want to write about can fit in this genre. Period pieces, historical fiction, horror, and autobiographies are often found as adult books.

Pieces are much more complex than those meant for younger audiences such as a YA or NA. They also tackle more difficult topics such as racism and abuse in more mature ways. It’s much easier to cover something like that in a book for older audiences than younger ones because you don’t necessarily have to simplify things. Focusing on the experiences of the character as if it were of coming of age isn’t as important.

The detail in adult books also changes in comparison to books for younger audiences. Whereas violence maybe something quick and easy, an adult book will drag it with vivid details. In Cirque du Freak, a middle-grade novel, the tearing of a person’s arm was described in two sentences in a way that made the reader imagine what an arm tearing would be like. In an adult book, you best be sure you’ll be reading about anatomy and immense amounts of gore.

Adult books can be short or extremely long. It depends on the genre once you hit adult books, as attention span isn’t much of a big deal anymore.

The characters in an adult book can be any age. It’s the content at this point and not who’s reading. An adult book can follow a tween/teen, an adult, or an elderly person. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is how you handle what is happening to certain characters. For example, if your character is a minor, you shouldn’t be writing graphic sex scenes. 

Book Examples: The Help, The Girl on the Train, The Handmaid’s Tale, The Kite Runner, The Shining

Conclusions

I feel like I could write more in this post, but I won’t. It will be much too long if I say anymore. It’s really up to what you like and the way you want to execute it. As a newer reader, I find that I like YA novels but gravitate to the grittier or mature ones. I dislike sex scenes, so the intimacy in YA is just enough for me. 

For my writing, I want to write a NA that can achieve what I like and in the way I enjoy it. In my reading endeavors, these past eight months, the Feverwake duology (my ever mentioned series...) has hit what I enjoy. While it is categorized as YA, the second book leans more toward NA and I love that. The way the author writes is also similar to the way I do, which is cool.

In the end, do what you love. Keep your audience in mind and remember that you don’t have to fit yourself into one genre. James Patterson wrote books for children and adults. Have I read any of his works? No, but I have family and friends who do enjoy or have enjoyed his work. You wanna write a book for your younger sibling? Do it. You want to write a book you need or want? Do it. You want to write a book that will make adults feel like children again? Do it. 

You’re the writer and write for a reason. Keep writing a passion, not a chore.

[Gif from Ouran High School Host Club]

[thatpinkbetch]

I'm going to answer it this way, because I'm actually not a fan of some of those, and I've heard this is the way to do it if you don't want it ending up in the tag or the search I think? If i censor any of the ship names it's not out of malice! I simply don't want any of this to end up in front of eyes that just want to enjoy their ships 💖💖💖 if there is anyone who doesn't want to see opinions against t*d*d*ku, k*r*b*ku, or even iz**ch*ka, please don't read any further! Oh my goodness i hope this is all legible...

Anyways, hello!! Thank you so much for the ask!! I love talking about my opinion avkvmsocnaocjsoxks it also makes me really happy you like my blog 🥺🥺🥺 (I hope this answer doesn't ruin that avskvneognsocjs)

I'll start out by confirming that I'm not a multishipper. It makes me excited to see how the act of shipping itself can make others happy, but it's just not that way for me. I actually never read fanfic until I got into bnha (bkdk is just that powerful 😁😁) I'm actually...a little serious when i ship, or when i enjoy media, i analyze pretty heavily, so also, if that doesn't sound like anyone's cup of tea, i would once again recommend to stop reading and enjoy your day please!

I love analyzing characters and storylines and dynamics, but i will admit, I'm not a fan of most of the ships - not romantically. I think all the characters have interesting relationships to each other, all of the kids are great friends, and I love bonds and friendships so much 🥺🥺🥺

Those first two are perhaps the biggest, at least they definitely were the biggest when I first entered. Once i caught up, I didn't really understand the enthusiasm, but people have fun shipping, so that's nice! I think of those two as easy ships, if that makes sense? They're pretty simple, and easy to digest.

I personally am not a fan of romantic t*d*d*ku for a very specific reason; it feels weird to me for Todo to immediately fall in love with the first person who's ever shown him kindness (since his mother of course). Todo had never had any friends, nor any want for friends, obviously because of the abuse he faced as a child. Mido was his first exploration at a life outside of his father, a life he got to make for himself, it just doesn't feel right to me that he should immediately think "oh, is this romantic love? Is this the one and only for me?" Well, perhaps a teenager might think that way, but i don't think that's actually how he feels deep down, and I'm sure that's something a lot of us have to learn as we grow (I've definitely struggled with my own understanding of romance for the past 8 years). I think he still is trying to learn how to socialize and to make friends and to be a friend (and he's doing SUCH a good job!) But to immediately plunge into romance, which can be complicated, i don't think that would be right for him. I hope that makes sense! I know they're a very cute ship, which makes for fun! But again, I can be a little serious when i ship...

K*r*b*ku kind of falls into similar territory for me? Baku definitely had friends growing up, but he's seemed to always have trouble understanding his feelings and where he stands with others, causing trust issues. Kiri is really the first person he knew where he stood with, a person for him to be comfortable with and feel on equal ground, which i think is such a huge and positive role in his life, and i don't necessarily think that it needs to be romantic - for both of these, i think these relationships are incredibly important, to everyone involved, and making them romantic doesn't make them any more important!! In fact, i feel like them as friends actually can offer a more complex, interesting, and human dynamic between these characters, as sometimes people simply default to romance and then end up pushing for the same old tropes and ignore all the intricacies Horikoshi includes in his writing.

Again, I love Mido's friendship with Todo, and I love Baku's friendship with Kiri. I think these relationships are incredibly important, and friends are incredibly important. People who ship them are having fun, which is so lovely, and i hope they continue to have fun! I hope you personally find more fics about them that make you smile and brighten your day 💖💖💖

Iz**ch*ka is a little difficult, because they certainly are cute, separately and together. I thought they were cutest before Ura was told about her potential crush on Mido, when she was simply a source of bubbly energy and positivity that helped Mido open up and feel comfortable around other people. I feel though that, romantically, it's extraordinarily one-sided, and at this point, i have to wonder if they really are "end goal." End goal for shounen, of course, is hardly ever explicit ahzovndlfjsoxo but i feel like a better storyline for Horikoshi to take would be for Ura to realize that she's been confused, and these feelings haven't really been a positive experience for her. I've definitely gone through things like that as a teenager. Now, the ship can be very cute! They're basically the same person, and they're cute and bubbly! But again, it simply isn't for me.

I think Momjirou is very cute!! Of course, as a lesbian, i sense strong lesbian vibes from Momo, and strong bi vibes from Jirou, and I also saw the ship potential ever since the USJ attack - which i think, so did everyone else ahaovndofjsojfsk they're best friends without a doubt, though i have to say, i really like Kamijirou. She just makes him so soft, and he's so in awe of her, and she thinks he's so funny, I love how supportive he is of her, especially since she can be really insecure 🥺🥺🥺

I also think Ura and Tsu are very cute but another easy ship, and i kind of really like Ochamina 🥺 they're both pink and space themed, they're bubbly and energetic and kick ass, and i think they'd be super cute...

I saved todobaku for last, because, you know what they say, best for last! 😇😇😇

I've said it before, but if there was no Mido (impossible obviously, and i would never want that) then todobaku is where my heart would lie. Baku has never really been shown chasing after anyone except for Mido...and Todo, which really gets at my heart. There's a grudging respect there - very, very grudging ahakckdkfjskdk which i find very appealing! Todo is very important to Baku and he has also been able to show Baku some things about himself that he needed to question and reevaluate. Meanwhile, Todo puts up with exactly 0% of Baku's shit, which i find absolutely hilarious. It's funny to me how Baku wishes to intimidate Todo as he does everyone else, and Todo simply does not care. And Baku wants to be mad, and ends up mad that he can't be mad since Todo is a strong and worthy opponent. They just have such an interesting chemistry, there's so much friction, so much tension, and I enjoy it, particularly since they clearly should be friends, would be great friends, want to be friends, but Baku simply won't get over it 😂😂 I do prefer them as friends, but friends that are incredibly close, two people that understand each other on almost a telepathic level, two people that give each other shit while also refusing to take the other's shit.

I do agree that many people in this fandom seem to think their ship stands on some moral high ground? It could be a disconnect from the previous generations of fandom, or it could also be the growing mentality on this site that everything needs to be a battle of moral superiority, and also that what you like is part of your personality, and if someone doesn't like what you like, then they don't like you or that they think you're factually incorrect. I personally have stopped going into the bn/ha tag simply because I don't enjoy, well, many things i find there, and I'm happy with those that i follow. I've definitely seen hatred and invalidation for both LGBT ships and m|w ships, neither of which I'm comfortable with. I definitely don't go off tumblr for fandom stuff because there's practically no acceptance for any same gender ships, or any queer headcanoning, which, I'll be honest, makes me scared, as i am a very anxious person avdkvndkfje i do think it should be noted that we should be as accepting of cishet ships as we are of queer ships - no debate on this one - but again, you are right when you say that many cishet headcanons have been used to invalidate LGBT voices, and any and all allies must always be aware of this! It is much more often that queer voices are silenced, that queer ships are ridiculed, that queer shippers aren't allowed to enjoy or see themselves. And to anybody that doesn't want to be an ally... Whelp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what are you doing here ajxkvmdogjdicjsicjsodj I'm gay

I haven't really read much of anything recently, let alone other ships, platonic or otherwise, because energy has been low for me for a long time. I wish i could participate more and support all my friends and other fans, but it's been a bit of a struggle 😣😣😣 I'm so sorry! Something that I can do is make posts and analyses and metas, as those are quick and make me excited, so I'm always happy to respond to asks like these! (I say as i take two hours to write this response...)

I hope people have been taking care of themselves and remember that tumblr is really good at letting you cater to your own interests! I hope if you've made it to the end of this response that you enjoyed it, and you're not mad at me ahsovjekgjsocjwodkso if you are, that's fine, I'm sorry, I probably am really bad at social/internet etiquette and such that help you filter 😣😣

To any who are curious, you cannot change my mind ahdogmdocjdidk thank you to whoever sent this ask!!! A lot of this is a bunch of rambling I've always wanted to talk about but was frankly too scared to post! I hope I made sense and answered everything you were asking!! Please have a good day/night/life!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

[whats-the-story-tc]

18th-22nd of May

"The One with Attack and Defense"

Remember this post of mine? Yeah. Nice start to the week. I shit you not, when I saw those sentences, all of them about love, dating and heartbreak, all of them with her name, that name I find myself saying time and again, I freaked out. I didn't know how to react. The wounds were still healing from the last time she'd unintentionally hurt me, and I knew we were going to check this homework in online class the next day. But how was I going to utter her name with a straight face?

Straight face was not something that I could use to describe that week's English class. Soon as V turned up, Cynical Twat started playing music, and she waited patiently until she couldn't anymore. Even then, her voice was smiling when she said "[Cynical Twat], you know I can mute you, right?" Music over. V complains about being tired. Class starts.

As we all know here at @/whats-the-story-tc, V isn't afraid to speak about... saucy themes in poetry. Well, that Tuesday she was particularly brave and I was losing my mind over it. Our different energies that day only clashed once, in connection to a poem written on Mr. Poetry Man's honeymoon, where he's already burying himself and discussing his wife's future remarriage. "Interesting timing," I said, "what with it being his honeymoon." It was a short-lived analytical discussion, mostly things that were super evident anyway but we still felt the need to say them. "Nice of him." "...odd." We said at the same time. You can probably guess which one of us was the more outspoken.

Little did I know this would be the last time we speak voice-to-voice.

Two hours later, I had my online German class. Luckily, the teacher didn't have me read any of the sentences with V's name — half of them we didn't even check. Still, it was the hardest role I've ever had to perform as an actress: the role of someone, who that name means nothing to. I checked myself on the camera constantly, glared at myself to keep a straight face so I don't react. And let me tell you, when the sentence "I am in love with [her name]." was said out loud, first in German, then in my native tongue... I managed to control my face so I didn't burst into a smile, but inside, I astral projected to an entirely different plane of existence.

Come Wednesday. Nothing much. Even more [Her name]-Sätze in my German homework, and V being rather very bold. She had us find poems about family, and when she pointed out the easy ones everyone would write off the top of their heads, which we couldn't list this time, she just wrote a ;) after her sentence. Hah. Someone's feeling rather very cocky, isn't she?

Blood froze in my veins on Thursday when I saw I had a private message via Google Classroom waiting from her. Then I got a smaller whiplash when I read it.

She corrected the tests mentioned here. And she knew. She found out we were cheating. All 28 of us received the same, scolding message privately, word-to-word. The only funny thing about the whole thing is that she pointed out how most people wrote something else and completely missed the topic of the essay — the essay I didn't show them how to do.

I knew she knew. V is a smart woman, she had to know I was the culprit behind the answers being spread. I was scared she'd think less of me, though somewhere within, I knew she isn't the kind of person who would. But all my fear turned into anger when I saw these in our group chat for answers, sent by our lovely Blond Boy in the Back, whom I'm sure the regulars have missed:

BBitB: Lazy whore

BBitB: She copies the same thing

I lost my mind. I couldn't very well snap at him without being suspicious, but I knew I had to answer that. Because nobody talks about her like that in my presence.

S: Or maybe it just applies to everyone.

BBitB: Why couldn't we write the same thing then xd

S: Those two things aren't exactly the same.

Allow me to translate you a quote from the best book I've ever read, because I feel like it applies perfectly here:

"but [she] loves [him], that impossible [man] (...), and what she could never be capable of doing for the sake of her own hurt dignity, she did in [his] defense."

(names censored, so my countrymen on here don't recognise it easily)

The above words are the best ones I could use to describe what I did next, something I never thought I'd have the courage or confidence to do. I stood up to my classmates. I didn't mention V much, even though it was because of her, I generalised, and demanded that they be original for the sake of their own futures. I could no longer ask nicely.

That night, and the next day was incredibly melancholy. I was preparing, planning, writing a speech in my head. I felt like V wasn't going to forget this just like that, that she was going to speak about this next Tuesday. And because I feel responsible for my class, at least partly, I felt like I had to talk to V about this privately. That I had to tell her everything that happened. For a brief while, I even thought about taking the blame, but she wouldn't believe that.

We created a new chat, with only half the class, the trustworthy ones, who don't just expect answers but return the favour. When someone asked who else we should add, Comparison Boy, staying on brand, just wrote:

CB: I'm looking at the group chat, don't think we left anyone out, this [V's full name] looks trustwor.... oh wait, sorry, she's already here.

S: Idiot 🤣🤣

Soon after, I told them about my plans of speaking to her, when we got scared that our homeroom teacher might know, that V might've told her, and we discussed how much we should tell her.

S: Only the people I trust will know [the full truth], and that means exactly one adult.

CB: Your mirror image?

This bitch... :D

And how well did it all go? What did I tell her? Well, that's a story for next time. ;)

~ S ♡

[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]

[kmp78]

DISCLAIMER AND RULES

These are the UPDATED directions/guidelines for all who want to participate/contribute to this blog. Our topics of conversation revolve mostly around 30 Seconds to Mars/the Leto Bros, but we have been known to also discuss various other current events around the world.

By reading, and especially by contributing, on what goes on around this blog, you are willingly agreeing with all guidelines and directions I have mentioned below - no exceptions.

I am willing to give a space to those who wish to discuss Mars (or other topics), and I am washing my hands from any and all fuckery that may ensue from other people´s opinions.

Also worth mentioning: I am fully aware that some people who publicly and very vocally denounce any interest in either this blog or Mars gossip lurk around this blog and then spread shit elsewhere on the internet. 

By doing that, you are essentially outing yourself as a quiet kmp78 admirer, so to speak. 

Or a fangirl, if that suits better. 🤗

Alright then... READ.

1.  This blog is laced with sarcasm, jokes, stupid and often very dark humor and PERSONAL OPINIONS - both mine and the people who participate in our conversations. This is not CNN, BBC or even Fox News - this is a personal blog run by a (sort of) fan. Not someone with inside information, and not someone whose opinions and views should be taken too seriously, and definitely not as gospel. I have no direct access to anyone in the Mars organization, and I do not work for them.

2. Nor do I work for YOU. This may be a blog which is mainly used for discussions about all things Mars and all opinions and topics are welcome, but the only one in charge is ME. I decide if a message gets published, if a message gets edited, if a message gets deleted - and if the sender gets blocked.

And not that it really needs to be said, but here goes anyway: I do not work for any Leto troll either.

3. And speaking of blocking: 

those who send threats or offensive messages will be blocked, as will anyone who I deem block-worthy. Rest assured, I never block anyone without a reason, so if you should discover that you have been blocked, that means I had a reason. I may or may not inform publicly when a person has been blocked, depends on my mood.

4. Everyone who sends messages is responsible for their own words - I do not accept any blame for other people´s opinions. Misunderstandings by accident or on purpose are not my headache. If I suspect a message will potentially cause unnecessary problems or annoyance for me, I will not post it (or will edit it), and  I don´t owe anyone any explanations as to why I´m not posting it. I may explain, or not - that´s up for me to decide. 

In any case, as I said: I will not take responsibility for anyone else´s words other than mine, and screaming at me over here or elsewhere online regarding comments someone else made and I posted...

Well, that´s just infantile. 🙄

5. All opinions are welcome, positive AND negative. A positive opinion does not automatically make you a sheep, and a negative opinion does not automatically make you a hater. 

Readers to this blog should be adult enough to handle both sides.

6. Calling women sluts or whores is not ok here. 

You also need to be able to tell the difference between calling a woman a whore and calling a Leto a whore. If you can´t understand the difference, then get out immediately.

SPECIAL CLAUSE:

the term “YACHT GIRL” when used in connection with an actually legit model who YOU ARE JEALOUS OF BECAUSE SHE GETS TO BONE A MAN YOUR FLABBY LOINS BURN FOR, actually is the equivalent of you calling her a whore, so kindly DO NOT.

Use whatever brain cells your parents genes bestowed upon you and make them at least somewhat proud. That should hopefully partially make up for the disappointment they most probably are already feeling knowing you actually read and participate in this shit.

7. What is also not ok is accusing people of crimes, calling them psychopaths, or threatening others with physical violence etc. - not even sarcastically or as jokes.

Think of it this way: 

when typing your message, if at any point you think that what you are writing might come across differently or more seriously to the person reading it than to you while writing it - then do not write it. Any innuendo about people´s potential “social diseases” is not welcome either, and neither are accusations of “obsessions” and people “stalking” the men this blog is focused on. Be VERY careful when using these terms. 

YOU are responsible for your own words. I cannot stress that enough.📣

8. We use a lot of initials and nicknames in our conversations - for a reason. 

Do not use people´s real names in messages. 

If you do not know who a particular person is, please come ask via chat (directions on how to use the chat feature can be found here). I may or may not blur out a name in a message if I think it´s necessary.

9. I post a lot of pics, gifs - and most of them are found from Google using various search terms, and sadly have no tags or indications as to who is the owner/maker. I don´t own any of the pics or gifs, or videos for that matter either (except the ones I have made and labeled as my own). If you find something of yours posted and prefer not to have it up or to have your name added as credits, please let me know and I will remove it.

As for links to either newspaper articles, IG accounts, other blogs or the like: you can find credits to the sources by either clicking on the links, or if I have decided to post screen caps, in the pics themselves. Again, I do not write articles or make videos and very, very rarely post anything other than other people´s comments - after all, this is prominently a discussion blog now. Opinions/messages from other people represent THEIR views and thoughts, my views/thoughts can be seen in my answers (in case of submits or multi-part messages, you will find my contributions to the message after this sign: ***).

To make this very clear: we don´t make news here, we discuss them.

10. When sending submits, if you are unsure of others potentially seeing your “ID”, please mention in your message that you want to remain anon and I will post it anon. Also please remember tho that there is no such thing as complete anonymity - so be careful when writing down your thoughts. Censor yourself if necessary - don´t make problems for me or others, or yourself.

11. I use Statcounter on this blog, which means I can see IP addresses from people visiting this site. However I choose to use that information is up to me, so if you are scared shitless of being outed due to your own actions/words, then DO NOT COME HERE.

If I out your IP, then there is a reason for it.

Don´t give me reasons if you want to remain in the shadows.

(And same goes for chat messages btw: don´t pretend to be my friend in private, but then turn your back and stab me in it in public. More often than not I WILL find out, and if I choose to then out your bullshit by posting private messages, THAT´S ALL YOUR OWN DOING, KIDDOS.

Play nice with me and you have nothing to worry about.

Start kicking dirt in my face and...🤷‍♀️

12. If you are addressing your message directly to someone (= other than me), please say so CLEARLY in your message, for example by starting your message with “For anon who said...”, or something along those line. I have had it with misunderstandings and unnecessary messes due to unclear messages! BE SPECIFIC!

13. ONLY write either in English or Finnish. I won´t waste my time on Google Translate, I have enough on my plate as it is and your weirdo mongrel lingos are boring as hell anyway.

14.  DO NOT SEND MESSAGES WITH THE SOLE PURPOSE OF STIRRING UP SHIT - OR TO INSULT OTHER COUNTRIES OR NATIONALITIES. That would rank quite high the PATHETIC categories...

15. I won´t post content from so-called private/non-celeb accounts such as Leto trolls (= VK for example IS a celeb so whatever she posts is most deffo getting posted, but anything posted by Lesser´s harem probs won´t be).

16. READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! 

I´m beyoooooooond bored answering the same questions over and over again, sometimes in the space of just a few hours! The archives and search option are available on my blog for a reason! USE THEM. 😠

17. When sending messages containing info or “receipts” or whatever it may be that you think we should be made aware of, either clearly state WHERE that info can be found and WHO you are talking about. Do not simply send a message a´la “VK can be seen on Monica´s/Richard´s/Beatrice´s IG”. We don´t know who these people are! You may, but we don´t! I do not follow a single model or fashion industry creeper on social media so FIRST NAMES mean fuck all to me. GIVE FULL DETAILS OR SHUT THE FUCK UP. 

18. IF I SAY A TOPIC IS OFF-LIMITS, THEN YOU WILL RESPECT THAT.

19. I usually try to post messages in the same order they have been sent - with a few exceptions: 

If a situation arises which calls for “immediate attention” (new troll pics or other sudden Mars-related activity, for example), I may leave older messages for later and focus on newer ones first. Also when I am operating on my mobile, I am often unable to post certain messages (videos etc.), so those will be left for later when I am back to an actual computer. 

20. More often than not, tumblr fails to deliver messages to my inbox. If you suspect that yours has not been delivered, please send it again. I don´t mind getting duplicates.

21. If I feel that a message offers no relevant or needed content, I won´t post it. For example, a message such as “JL & XX in Japan bang bang” is unnecessary and pointless and not worth posting. I only have 250 allowed posts per day, and on busy days I have to make judgments on what is worthy of posting and what is not. I apologize if I therefore have to skip some messages. 

When I run out of allowed posts here, I will let everyone know that I am switching over to use the secondary blog which can be found at @kmp78secondaryblog

(PLEASE NOTE: That blog is ONLY used when we run out of room here, and I never go there unless I have to so please don´t send any messages to that blog unless I inform we have to move there!)

AND FINALLY PLEASE REMEMBER:

THIS IS A FANDOM FOR A BAND. NOT A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH. ACT ACCORDINGLY.

Creating hater accounts dedicated to POSTING PICTURES OF MY BLOODY EYEBALL (that btw actually happened because of course it did! This is the echeLOOOOOON after all! 👍) won´t make me quit this blog, so...

Yeah.

Anyway, for further information, please contact me via private message here, on my IGs, or at kmp78@yahoo.com.

Thank you. 🙏

PS: In case you run into accounts/comments made under my tumblr “identity”, or otherwise unauthorized “kmp78″ activity outside of tumblr which you recognize as being linked to this blog in any way (such as my posts being tagged with JL´s tags etc.), please report them immediately, both to the admins of the sites you found these accounts on, and to me directly so I can take appropriate action, thanks.

Any of my personal pics taken from this blog have been taken without permission and I have never and will never give permission to post them anywhere. And when I say I “appropriate action”, I mean just that. If need be, I will be contacting the authorities, like I did when I received public death threats. 

Be very aware that my tolerance for that is less than zero - and also be aware that these guidelines and my rules may change whenever I feel the need to change them.

#DEAL ✌️

[szopenhauer]

What is the reason you last got a new cell phone? because I needed phone with internet connection 

Are you more masculine or feminine? dunno, smth in between?

Which name have you kissed the most people with? I only kissed one person in my entire life

Do you enjoy All You Can Eat buffets? yes

Have you ever seen the band/artist you’re listening to live? I didn’t attend any Momomoyouth concerts

Last thing you printed off a computer? short story that I’ve written

Last thing you threw in the garbage? not sure what was last

Last black person you hugged? I saw few black people but never even had a chance to talk to them

Is life hard? for me it is, I know some people have it worse but still

Who does the song you’re listening to remind you of? nothing, I just enjoy it

Have you ever had anything pierced that isn’t anymore? never had anything pierced ever

Would you consider yourself “tough”? it’s complicated 

Headphones or earbuds? headphones

Do you support freedom of speech? I think some stuff should be censored like bullying

Are you ever told you are too opinionated? maybe 

Do you hold grudges for long? sometimes

What’s in your garden/backyard? you mean plants or other stuff like furniture or decor?

Do you own a purple pillow? nope

Do you have a brown blanket? nah

Do you think diamonds, stars or hearts are prettier? stars

Have you ever overflown a bath? noooo

Do you appreciate brutal honesty? not brutal but I appreciate honesty in general most of the time

When was the last time you ate meat? yesterday

Have your parents met your gf/exes? they met my current gf and my ex S.

How about your gf’s parents? Met them? I met my current gf’s parents 

Do you feel uncomfortable easily? kinda

Do you know how to say I love you in at least 4 languages? yup

What age will you be when you times your current age by two? 56

Do you find the sound of a cats purr relaxing? hmm...

Are you in a simple or complex mood? complex

Do you know your Mum’s first pets name? I need to ask my mom’s guinea pigs’ name :o

*she doesn’t remember

Do you like car racing? playing car racing games, don’t like to brag but I’m very good at it actually 

What is your closest uncle/aunt called? to me it’s my aunt Alicja (Alice)

Do you wear underwear to bed? when I have my period to have extra protection

Do you get angry, depressed or nervous more? all at once

What is something obvious about you that everyone notices? that I’m short 

Would you ever get a heart tattoo or your back? what for?

Do you like Sapphires? I don’t

What about you do you think your friends dislike? ask them

Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? (assuming you want any) I don’t want any and would allow but no sex! at least use protection or birth control

What’s something about adult life you were never warned of or prepared for? amount of illnesses for example

How often do you wash your car? I don’t have a car

Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? fb messanger

Do you find it easy to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes? I believe

Have you ever kissed a smoker? I have not

If you won the lottery, do you think any of your family members would ask you to give them some of your money? my parents wouldn’t have to ask :)

What is the craziest thing you’ve seen happen at your workplace? crazy is that one of the coworkers actually disappeared - he left his stuff and didn’t took the money for the job - he was never found 

Have you ever disliked a book so much that you didn’t finish it? many times

Do you think tomorrow will be a better day than today? hope so

A word that describes you, starting with the last letter of your last name?: asexual

What is the age difference between the last two people you kissed romantically?: -

How many hours have you worked this month?: zero

How did you or whoever come up with the name(s) for your pet(s): he was fattest among his siblings as a puppy and used to eat a lot later too, he even ate roof of his house lmfao

Last time you washed your hair?: Monday’s night

What is your weight?: about 40 kg, I didn’t check recently

Last article of clothing you purchased?: dad bought a hoode NOT INTERESTED for me in second hand because I cold so cold yesterday but I worry I still got a flu :(

Last electronic you purchased?: powerbank from what I remember

What is your blood type?: no idea

Who did you last walk a dog with?: my dad, we always go together for walks because it’s quite dangerous to wander alone around the forest

Ride bikes with?: same

For what reason did you last high five someone?: I virtually high fives my gf because we agreed on smth

Are you emotional? I’m more analytical/logical/overthinker but I still am very emotional Have you ever cut/burned yourself intentionally? ... Have you ever noticed the hidden adult jokes inside of kid shows/movies? in Shrek, the one about penis

Do you sin often? only God knows What do you think happens after you die? we have a funeral :P Are you afraid to die? I’m afraid of looking stupid and people laughing, being a burden, others trying to save me (or me trying to save myself of course) and failing, someone stealing my stuff while I’m unconscious, suffering for a long time, waking up in a casket, going to hell etc. If you had the chance, would you want to know the date of your death? YES Have you ever felt that you weren’t good enough? I’m not enough and yet too much if you know what I mean Are you jealous of your siblings? I am, she’s lucky, normal

Are you always wanting more? I want more than I have but not as much as people usually want - I want health and enough money to not just barely survive but I don’t dream about career, kids, big house, fame, talents, travelling, beauty, long life etc. Do you make good first impressions? pfft Do you consider yourself guarded?  it seems Do you like animals? majority but still wouldn’t want to own them 

Do you think doctors prescribe medicine too often? absolutely, too many meds are causing more problems than help and the fact lots of them are sold without prescription makes me angry and sad Do you enjoy getting drunk, or do you feel like you’re losing all control? I don’t drink because I don’t like the taste/smell and the consequences - losing control is one of them but also hangover and puking for examples Do you think the internet is dangerous? almost everything can be

Who do you think has the most pressure to be good-looking; guys or girls? women are pressured more to be attractive Do you care what impression you make on people? not much Honestly, do you say racist things? nah Do your parents put way too much pressure on you? not really Do you think people overreact when their pets die? not usually

Has anyone ever told you they needed space? that’s what I say!

Do you actually think there will be a zombie apocalypse? smth similar 

Do you get offended really easily? I’m pretty sensitive

Have you ever punched a wall out of complete anger? not wall, furniture

Ever been turned down in a really mean way? in my opinion that was hurtful

Are you ticklish? I am and hate that about me

Do you currently have a pair of UGG boots? I use them as slippers during winter :3

When was the last time you had a stomach ache? morning

Have you ever been to a circus? at least once <3

Does drama seem to follow you everywhere you go? I live in a drama movie Do you ever regret giving your number to people? regretted Have you ever been told that you’re afraid of your own shadow? fuck you! Have you ever tried Gouda cheese? obvi Do you still watch South Park? I never did You’re babysitting, what do you expect per hour for pay? been doing it for free :( What’s the last thing you returned at a store? tried to return computer and even tho it was on guarantee they didn’t fix it, it didn’t work from the start and it’s only getting worse >.< Do you still look at clouds and make shapes of them? it’s so much fun! :D If you had to dye your hair for one year, what color would you pick? green What’s your television addiction? non existent Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? 4 hours of root canal without anesthesia Do you make your own jewelry or clothing? tried but I’m bad at it Do you use drawing to describe what you’re feeling? preffered collages  Do you give everything you do 100%? I half ass majority of the things I do

If you could transform into any kind of animal, what animal would you be? raccoon? XD  actually a bird I guess One place you would never want to get lost in in the dark? somewhere I could fall down like from the roof or into a deep hole and where are sharp objects etc. Are you claustrophobic? just my head is, I’m scared to be stuck in smth with my head, I know it’s strange If you could be reincarnated, would you come back as another human or an animal? If an animal, what kind? I just want a good life... but never come back would be a better option - no more death  Easiest way to scare you? jump scares What was your last nightmare about? personal

Do you own any knee-high boots? no longer Have you ever kissed a dog on the mouth? disgusting!

How many squares of toilet paper do you use at a time? 2-3 Have you ever had acupuncture done to you? heard you can get ill outta that Do you play hopscotch? played a bit as a child Are you jealous of beautiful people? rarely  Are you foolish and naive? I try my best not to be yet end up being fooled at times anyway Do you play with the food on your plate? my mom does and that annoys me When you were born was the umbilical cord wrapped around your neck? luckily not Have you ever taken a mud bath? no thx Do you have nude photos of yourself posted on the internet? I didn’t even really took any to begin with Are you considered “normal”?

Do you want to skydive? nah Have you ever been told that you talk too much? and not enough, you can’t please anyone

What’s the latest youtube channel you’ve discovered and binge-watched?   https://www.youtube.com/c/naomijon/videos

Do you think your hair looks better long or short? it’s ugly 

Do you look best with or without bangs?   I prefer no bangs

Do you enjoy editing photos on your phone? I like filters sometimes but not editing

Which season do you wish would last longer?   summer

Haw many outdoor birthday parties have you had?   none, sadly, my birthday is during winter so I can’t 

How much taller or shorter are you than your mom?   like 10 cm taller even tho I’m so tiny

Do you have neat handwriting? r u kidding?...

Would you rather hike a mountain or dive into the sea?   hike

Which Barbie doll was your favorite? that one I slept with and broke her neck but I loved my Ken as much (and broke his legs but my dad fixed him) - that’s unusual as those are the only toys I actually ever broke (not counting my fav stuffed animal that lost it’s head but my mom sewed it back) and not because I didn’t care for them like some kids but because I loved them 

Do you prefer cheetah or zebra print, polka dots, paisleys, plaid, stripes or stars? animal prints are ok at times, paisley and some kinds of plaid too but I love stripes and stars and hate polka dots 

Do you like your natural hair color? whatever

Did you dream of becoming famous as a kid?   later in life I wanted to become an actress 

Have you ever been to a gynecologist? several times and I regret that

Do you use the Bitmoji app on your phone? used to

Do you get on facebook every day? yep

Would you ever consider naming a child after a family member?   not that I want to have kids but yes

List three names that sound similar to your name.   apparently Zosia is similar to Zuzia but also Anna as it’s part of Zuzanna

What were you almost named?   Lilia (Lily)

What does your name mean? same hahaha

Do you have any symptoms of COVID-19 right now? luckily not

Have you made your own mask to help prevent the spread of the virus?   my mom is making those

Do you ever wish you had someone to hug?   I have someone to hug

[therealdragonnerdagain]

Did I mention I love negareddit?

One day I will drop my tumblr addiction. Hopefully whenever Game of Thrones goes off the air . . . not that it matters. This is my personal blog and I can do what I want. Free speech!!! :P

Right, tumblr? Or are you going to try censoring me again while at the time allowing all the anti-muslim, racist, sexist rhetoric that runs rampant on this website?

White men who bitch about being profiled as "pedophiles" are trying so desperately to either 1) invalidate the very valid struggles of minorities or 2) appropriate -- lofuckingl -- our struggles so they can be victims too.

It's not fun being a victim. Please, straight white men, stop trying???

Also, real profiling usually comes with real consequences that go far deeper than hurt feelings.

Not that hurt feelings don't matter. But then, you don't believe people should have feelings -- despite the fact that you rant so emotionally against SJWs, ironically enough -- so I won't bother going into why and how racism, homophobia, and sexism is emotionally crippling for its victims.  

I doubt you were really profiled as a pedophile at the park. You're just making shit up to act like minorities aren't unique in being oppressed. Except . . . we are unique. You're the oppressors, and being oppressed by you is what makes us marginalized. You dense motherfucker.  

Deal with it.

This isn't a game. I am so fucking sick of these -- as they  say -- Oppression Olympics.

So fucking sick.

Assuming you really were profiled, maybe you should stop wearing trench coats to the park. Maybe stop leering at kids. Put some underwear on? Don't flash your dick?

I'm pretty sure you're lying, though. Because you need so desperately for men to be victims who suffer some kind of social, economic discrimination that they really do not.

Here's what actual profiling, discrimination, and oppression does.

Remember that black boy a couple years back to who held the door for a white woman at the bank? It was quite some time ago, and because there are so many instances like this, I can't even remember his name.

He was a gentlemen, smiled at the woman, and was polite. The white woman thought he was going to rob the bank. She thought he looked suspicious just because he was black. (It’s not like he was wearing a fucking hockey mask.) So she called the cops. The cops came and arrested a teenage boy -- all based on one white woman's suspicions.

Then Dr. Drew's racist ass sat on his show talking with that stupid smile about how sorry he felt for the white woman. Really? Because she's the one who went to jail for nothing, right?

Now that black boy has a record and also had his face smashed in the sidewalk, had handcuffs slapped on his wrists -- all because a white woman was scared.

It's a classic example of white power and how much power white people have to alter our entire lives if we just smile at them.

White people do not face the same shit. You do not suffer these kinds of consequences due to your skintone and the fact that you happen to exist. You will never, ever be arrested because a black woman saw your creepy ass at the park and thought you were a pedo.

The cops don't even come when black people call.

Or here's a personal "anecdote" just to drive this home.

When I was in my early twenties, I liked cosplaying Clark Kent from the tv show Smallville. I used to make fun of cosplay nerds until I found a nice red plaid jacket that reminded me of Clark.

I wore it to the library complete with my glasses and a pair of jeans -- rocking that farmboy aesthetic hard -- and as I walked toward the comic book section, a white librarian thought I was a Latin gangster come to steal a computer from the library. Yeah. She really thought this shit. And -- with a shaking hand -- she called security on me.

Because 

plaid jacket = Mexican gangster

This was the same library I'd been coming to for years, yet she didn't recognize me because all people of color look alike. And being a light-skinned black person, she didn't even know my race. So eager was she to see what she wanted to see.

Needless to say, i stopped cosplaying Clark Kent.

When you're a person of color, you can be arrested just for existing. If someone is racist, they will see what they want. If someone is sexist, they will see what they want.

There is no stereotype that all men are pedos. There aren't a shit-ton of people who think men are rapists and pedos. There are a shit-ton of men who think it's okay to rape, but that's a discussion for another late night post.

The fleeting fears of racist white people can destroy a black person's entire life or even put our life to an end.

This is not a game. You are not oppressed. Your life is not in danger. No one is arresting and shooting white men into an early grave on a regular basis due solely to preconceived notions.

Please stop pretending like you are so oppressed and trying to invalidate my experiences.

The fact that you care more about trying to pretend like racism and profiling happens equally for everyone rather than trying to stop it and make the world a better place for everyone to exist in . . .

. . . says what a shitstain you are.

[fromseattlewithlove]

I have forgiven : I am free

I don’t know if it’s relationship abuse month or anything like that, but to me, every month, every moment, I appreciate the fact that I made it out of an abusive relationship a better person and quite frankly.. Alive..

Just as a warning, this post will contain graphic depictions of abuse and I understand that this is a very sensitive topic. So tread carefully..

Not many people have heard my story, but I was inspired to share mine when a long term friend from school shared hers with the world a while back. For a good period of time she was someone very close to me and of course as time goes on, you make new friends, you change in high school, blah blah blah; believe it or not we were both suffering together and I don’t think either one of us knew it.. This is when I realized I needed to speak up, because at the time, going through it all, I was deathly afraid to. Literally, my life was threatened multiple times, the boy I was in a relationship with threatened taking his own life many times as a manipulative tactic to get me to stay. So I kept my mouth shut, I censored everything, and I stayed, trapped in the arms of someone who I thought loved me. But here’s the kicker : if you love someone, you would never hurt them.

I will never forget the sense of peace I felt when I shared with a friend for the first time that I was being abused, and out of some sheer ignorance I believed that it would all end because he would tell his mom and she was a police officer and she would be able to do something about it. Wrong. Nothing changed that next morning, and I went on living my life as a lie for the next two years. I didn’t speak of it again until we finally broke up after being together for almost three years. The people in my life knew it was bad, they just didn’t know HOW bad..

Now you may be wondering, three years of abuse? How did you put up with that? WHY did you put up with that? I was scared. Scared shitless. This human I chose to share my insecurities with, lose my virginity to, and claim to be my first love; was troubled, deeply. He suffered from bipolar, depression, mania, anxiety, etc, and the only way he knew how to love was to possess, manipulate, and control. Being tortured by someone who doesn’t even realize that they are damaging you is much more dehumanizing and emotionally taxing than at least knowing the abuser’s intent and knowing that they are achieving what they sought out to do. And at sixteen years old, I didn’t know any different, I had nothing to compare it to. I just, for some odd reason, believed that he was worth the fight.. The fights that would go on every day, til countless hours of the night, the fights that would affect my school work, my relationships with EVERYONE around me - including my childhood best friends - but most importantly the relationship with myself. He had mentally and emotionally beaten me down so many times that I felt worthless, all while he felt so powerful because I was finally powerless. And when that began to slip, he started to get physical.

I can’t place the first time he actually put a hand on me as for I blocked out a lot of those memories. However, I do remember the first time I was cheated on, spit on, stuffed and silenced with a pillow, thrown up against the wall and strangled. When I sleep, sometimes I can still feel his hands around my neck. I’ll never forget the way his eyes changed when he got like this. He pulled a knife out on me once, threatened to kill me, kill himself, my family, and the sweet, innocent boys who had attempted to save me from this toxic relationship. I often remember being scared to fall asleep next to him because I didn’t know if I would wake up in the morning. I didn’t know what he was capable of doing after experiencing all that already. I remember being on my knees on my own prom night begging him not to leave me, after experiencing one of his episodes and being choked because I was talking to a guy he had forbade me to speak to. I remember our last argument, in the Fred Meyer parking lot, he showed up at my work place unannounced expecting a conversation. He told me he was going to run away and that I would never hear from him again. My mother called and he made me put it on speaker phone to convince her that I was okay and would be home late, except she knew something was wrong because he kept yelling at me to hang up the phone - mother’s intuition ehh? I managed to get out of his car at one point and hide behind other cars to indeed warn my mother that I was NOT safe and needed her to come get me as soon as possible - turns out she was already in the car and on her way. I remember him throwing a skateboard at me as I ran away. I remember him yelling “I’m going to kill myself!” And “Fuck you bitch!” For the longest time just hearing the words “fuck you” was a trigger for me. I was brought back to that very moment, seventeen again and shattered. And maybe I’m writing this today because those triggers no longer have control over me.

Before all of this I was not the submissive type.. I didn’t put up with the bullshit, I was the one kicking boys in the playground and making them cry! It only became the other way around once my fire was taken away from me, he watched that happen and he enjoyed it. He destroyed everything that I loved, he convinced me that I would not be able to live without him and he would not be able to live without me. I remember being strong and independent when we first started dating. I remember being in awe of him and all his life stories - for a fifteen year old boy - stories, that to this day, I have no idea are true or false.. I can sit here and admit confidently that I do not know anything about my first love and I do not remember any happy memories with him when his name gets brought up.

I’m sharing my story with you here today because I hope to God that nobody ever has to experience what I went through. I know how common abusive relationships are and I know how easy it is to just keep your mouth shut rather than bring attention to the subject. I know what it feels like to be afraid of your own parents’ reactions, to admit to your friends that someone you thought loved you was actually slowly destroying you. I know what it’s like to hide under the surface of your relationship, to make up excuses for him, to live in denial, to force yourself to wear a mask, and to convince yourself that you deserve the abuse. I am here to tell you - women, men, gay, straight, WHATEVER - that you DO NOT deserve it.

Relationship abuse is a real thing, it takes on many forms; whether it be physical or psychological, and if you are going through it, speak up about the issue, ask for help, because keeping it all in is even worse. I know how scary it can be to open up and let the truth pour out. Yet the reality of it is, whether you bottle it all up inside or share your story, you will continue to live with it and it will taint your future relationships (hopefully not forever - I’m still figuring that part out). You will convince yourself that you do not deserve the best forms of love that exist. You will build up these walls that will take years to break down. So embrace it, because living in the dark is so much worse and I cannot even begin to express how freeing this was for me. I hope me sharing my story inspires others to share theirs, to break ties with the person that is destroying them, because nobody deserves to be censored, put down, and broken. Everybody deserves to be loved, appreciated, and supported, and it is time we stopped making up excuses.

If you or anyone you know is currently a victim of relationship abuse, GET HELP! Reach out to a loved one, anyone, even me - I am here, I am with you. Forgive yourself, you didn’t know he or she would hurt you. You are stronger than you think.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #65

“i couldn’t take my eyes off her, but that’s not what i took off that night.”

have you ever wanted to travel to germany?   i have, yes.  if we happen to be blessed with quite a good income, i'd really like to do that once i have children, go on a big family trip to germany.  i'd need to brush up on my german, though! is marijuana legal for "recreational use" where you live? also what is your opinion on the recent legalization of marijuana in certain states?   i don't think it is... but the whole legalization shit is stupid.  you will never convince me that marijuana isn't dangerous.  don't legalize dangerous shit. do you usually have bad symptoms around "that time of the month"?   i'd say i'm luckier than most, now that i've been on the pill.  i get mild cramps, headaches, and i usually break out a bit. how do you feel about being called sweetie/dear/honey/etc.?   i'd have no problem with it.  jason never called me any of those listed though, just "love," which was my favorite anyway. do you have your national flag hanged up anywhere outside your house?   no, we don't. would you ever go to japan?   omg yes!! have you ever been in a choir?
   i was in the church, yes. have you ever had a speech impediment?   i stutter pretty badly. give out your phone number over the internet?    i have to VERY few people. what do people usually think your ethnicity is?   it's pretty obvious i'm caucasian. how do you feel about people using graphic images as a scare tactic to promote their beliefs? (i.e.: peta, abortion…)   do it.  DO IT.  it may be "too much" for someone, but that's how you initiate action, sometimes.  now i mean if you're going to show something ludicrously morbid or something, sure, censor that, please.  some things truly are too much. do you think gender neutral bathrooms are a good idea?   i'm neutral. how about the transgender bathroom business? you know exactly what i'm talking about.   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TUMBLR WOULD FUCKING CLOSE MY ACCOUNT IF I SAID ONE WORD ABOUT THIS MATTER. what are some of your favorite websites for online shopping?   rebel's market makes me moist. do you think it’s fair that people are able to make a reasonable salary and live comfortable lives just by making youtube videos?   not in the slightest.  they're entertainers.  just like singers, comedians, etc... inspired by an event at my school: why do you think there’s so much girl-on-girl hate in our culture?   because the country's homophobic. do you have a nice yard? if so, do you spend a lot of time outside in it? if not, where do you go when you want to relax outdoors on nice days?   there's nothing special about it.  and there's nowhere for me to relax if i wanna go outside.  we have no chairs outside or whatever. is there a group of friends that you used to hang out with but no longer do? why don’t you hang out anymore and how do you feel about them now?   i'll admit i was a loose "member" of the gothic/emo/scene/metalheads/whatever clique in high school.  because i identified most with them.  like we all sat together at lunch and such.  it was hilarious, actually; overlooking the cafeteria, there'd just be this big splotch of black. xD  i didn't "know" everyone in the group, just names, just select people.  i miss a good number of them.  we just had this... weird, underlying connection that said "hey, you're like me." how many siblings does your significant other or crush have?   he has one older brother. what is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating?   WHERE THE FUCK IS "THE INCREDIBLES II" do you have any ideas for a story or movie you’re planning to write or you’d write if you got the time/had the talent? please share a synopsis!   i had plenty of story ideas as a kid, but none i never fully went through, except one.  i don't feel like sharing, mostly because i barely remember it. what is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “that book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)?   i wouldn't just magically say "OKAY I TRUST YOU," but it would in fact entice me to trust you easier.  probably if you mentioned being a gmm fan. do you refer to yourself by any sort of fan nickname (belieber, little monster, etc.)?   mythical beast, motherfucker! \m/ do you ever just get lazy and give up on your friendships?   no.  if you think you're going to "get lazy" with a friendship, omg, just fuck off. if you are single, even if you are normally happily single, are there certain specific things you witness that make you wish you were in a relationship (e.g., people getting engaged)?   honestly, i constantly wish i was.  that sounds very desperate and... easy-to-get-ish, but i'm not lying about myself on my own blog.  single life is very lonely to me personally.  i think almost every human seeks knowing someone is interested in them in that sense and will always be there. out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? do you use it for more than one site?   my name almost everywhere is "ozzkat," which i really like, as it combines two of my favorite things. are there any cities near you that you’re afraid to go to because of the crime rate or its other bad reputations?   fuck sharpsburg.  where i grew up. do you grandparents ever judge you or stick their heads in your business? if not, is there someone else in your life you dread seeing because of their unwanted input?   my maternal grandmother is... ugh.  she's very closed-minded about important issues; like she only JUST recently opened up her mind to mental illnesses because of some drama in my family transpiring.  so for a long time, my illnesses were invalid to her.  last time i saw her though, we got along quite well. have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)?   ha ha omg just a few days back i spent all day with colleen and chels looking up tats, pinning all those i wanted on pinterest! if you ever think about getting married, what are some aspects of the wedding that you would like to see in a non-traditional manner (e.g., a different color dress or “partners” over “husband” and “wife”)?   well first, i do not want a church wedding, and i'm sliiightly considering a black dress to go with the gothic theme i'm hoping for. do you ask for other people's opinions often? on what subjects do you like to get the opinions or advice of others?   yes, i love asking for other people's opinions, mainly when i'm about to make a controversial decision.  god bless the few friends i have that've always been there to give me advice when i need it. what are you religious views or your thoughts on religion in general? how long did it take you to develop them? are you still confused or trying to figure out your religious views?   i am a creationist christian, meaning i do not believe in evolution, but natural selection, as they go in opposite directions.  this is a VERY fascinating subject and i'd love to give anyone curious a link to the blog post that instilled this belief in me.  i also believe the world was not created in six literal days, but rather the "days" stood for junctures of time.  i'm not sure which christian denomination that is.  i was raised a catholic, so i've literally always believed in god, but i turned to christianity alone in high school i think, as well as creationism when my former best friend mini exposed me to it.  i am not confused in my religion, no.  i'm quite confident in it. are you a rule follower? do you get angry if other people break the rules? can you remember a time that you have broken a rule?   it depends on the rule, really.  ex. i won't kill a person, but i'll download a song illegally.  all depends on what it is, if i support the rule, or if it's legally punishable, honestly. what songwriter do you consider to be one of the best lyricists?   CRADLE OF FILTH AND OTEP OMG SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY have you ever cried from physical pain?   as an adult?  yeah.  i fucking sobbed when i was getting my cyst emptied. what do you like best about taking surveys? do you use them to discuss current events in your personal life?   i like that they give me a chance to just... vent.  i get to talk about my life, yes, and i at least believe i can do it without being lectured. do you feel comfortable being about people your own age? do you feel like you "fit in" with people your age? in general, do you like spending time with people older or younger than yourself?   i feel... inferior to most people my age, honestly.  i don't think i fit in because i do far more unimpressive things compared to most people of my age group.  i'm not in school, i have no job, i'm not traveling to europe, i'm not married, i'm not raising a kid... i just don't feel like i belong.  simultaneously though, i like hanging out with people older than me because they're usually more mature. have you ever read more than one book at once? do you do this often?   i'm sure i have for school, but i don't do that anymore.  i don't read period. what is your favorite book series, and what is your favorite book out of that series?   ha ha omg i was MAD into the "warriors" (you know, the cat books) series in middle school through some of high school.  maybe even in elementary, i don't remember.  i don't have a favorite book in the series though, i think. who do you think reads these?   *shrugs*  i've seen my surveys taken before by people (easy to tell when everything's lower-cased and long as fuck lmao), so i guess they may read some of my answers while adding in their own.  some random tumblr users find them too, probably. can you change the oil on a car?   i cannot. the first time you discovered power:   ... i don't want to go into much detail on this, because after i thought about this question for a minute or so, i realized i have only ever felt power in a sexual situation.  i'm such a submissive person and just don't experience feeling powerful.  after thinking just now, i think me being such the sexual tease i am has to do with feeling powerful.  this is... really wrong, but i enjoyed the anticipatory knowing that jason wanted me a certain way, and because he's a man with respect, i had the say whether he could have me or not.  please do not confuse this for me saying i was controlling with my ex-boyfriend, i was incredibly submissive to him in general, but i felt in control in some sense.  for once. SCARIEST video game monster?   but... i've played so many horror games!!  uhhhh... well, i HATED the regenerators in "resident evil 4."  that fucking smile was horrifying.  hmmm... i also really hate/love the keeper/boxhead from "the evil within" bECAUSE OF HIS FUCKING WALK/JOG.  THAT thing storming towards you like that?  NO THANKS!  the one monster, however, that i think would frighten me the most in real life would be the clickers from "the last of us."  fuck those things.  they're disgusting and horrid. something someone said or did that you found extremely attractive:   well i mean, tons of things.  the thing that i believe affected me the most though was probably the time jason, in a whisper, called me his wife while we were "doing things."  he started out so afraid of commitment, and to hear him call me that in such a confident-sounding whisper, it meant... a lot.  but well.  he's gone now. something you've done that someone at least seemed to FIND extremely attractive:   lmaaoooo i'm open af on tumblr but the thing i've ever done i think jason found the most attractive, i shall not repeat.  i promise, you'd thank me. the farthest distance you would travel now to be with someone you desire:   for jason?  i'd go to the other end of the planet. what you dislike most about having a committed relationship:   i mean, i guess after you've been with someone so long, you're afraid of leaving the person even when necessary for your health.  if you're in a healthy relationship though, there's nothing i can really think of to complain about... your sexiest feature:   ... can hands be sexy?  because they're the only thing i like lmao the physical feature for which you are most often complimented:   my hair, def. a place where you have always wanted to make love:   ... a church fucking murder me the most perverted situation you have ever been in:   LOLOLOL LET'S NOT the first time you achieved orgasm:   i never have, but i think i got like agonizingly close once and had a panic attack because i didn't understand what was going on.  yes, i am truly that pathetic lmao. a person you regret sleeping with:   no one. a person you regret not sleeping with:   first i don't regret literally sleeping with jason, but i'm assuming in this context, you mean "having sex with."  in that case, jason. a fantastic kisser you have known:   only ever kissed jason, and i am QUITE sure there's no one i'll meet who'll be better.  like ffs he only had one partner before me and certain things he did with me he didn't with his ex, yet he always seemed to know what to do...? the book, song, or movie title that best describes your sexuality:   uhhh.  idk? you have a great amount of guilt regarding:   practically sexting my former best friend's boyfriend when i was like 12.  and i was the one who got them together. a moment in your life when your emotions froze and you felt absolutely nothing:   when jason told me he was talking to dillon about our relationship in a negative context... i knew. you are haunted by the memory of:   everyone knows by now. one of your most peaceful moments:   lying with jason on the trampoline, looking up at the stars... a sickness or disease you fear:   more than anything?  alzheimer's/dementia.  i can't forget.  i can't.  i don't care how tragic my life's been, i don't want to fucking forget. a reason for which you would seriously contemplate suicide:   if jason died.  i'd more than consider it. your greatest fear about marriage:   divorce.  marriage is supposed to be for forever; i don't want to marry the wrong person. what's your mood right this minute?   i'm actually... okay-ish.  for once in my life.  i'm talking to my friend jax about a private subject, and it's opening my mind to some possibilities about certain things.  i feel like a weight's crumbling from my shoulders. ever had an internal worm?   NONONONONONONONONO PLEASE GOD NEVER THEY TERRIFY ME FUCK THAT have you ever been in a lighthouse?   no, but i'd love to. :< do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants?   i always get the same meal when i go to any restaurant. you have the option to have sex right now. do you do it?   only if it's with jason, yeah. would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves?   depends on the subject. do any medical problems run in your family?   OHHH GOD HERE GOES.  let's see.  heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, cancer, depression, anxiety, bipolarity, and i can absolutely guarantee i'm forgetting some... something you really want right now?   i'd rather not say. have you cuddled with someone you weren’t dating?   i have not. how long have you been using tumblr?   not even a year yet. what was the last pill you took?   idk.  i take my morning pills in bulk. where was the last place you got completely wasted?   i've never been completely wasted. describe god:   i'd... rather not with how life is right now. your most spiritual moment:   i still believe i had a dream once sent to me by god.  when i was much younger, i had a dream that i walked outside onto my front porch, and two geese, one white, one black, flew in sync with each other to perch before me.  they morphed into my grandfather, who smiled at me, and my former cat midnight, who meowed.  i really do feel like this was god reminding me my loved ones will always watch over me, because the feeling it gave me, it was holy. how you picture the end of the world:   the biblical definition, i guess.  pretty much everything that can go wrong, goes wrong.  it sounds terrifying. do you feel that most wars started because of religious conflicts?   i am honestly not knowledgeable about aaaall the wars in our history to determine this answer fairly.  i do, however, believe a good majority are related to religion. does life exist on other planets?   no.  speaking of "life on other planets," isn't it funny how a trace of water on mars is called life, but an unborn fetus isn't?? do you believe we are descendants of adam and eve?   yes, i do. the first step toward resolving poverty:   hunny, i wish i could tell you.  there are a LOT of factors to this. the worst crime against humanity:   hm.  i honestly don't know what i consider the worst.  i'll think about that and come back to this question if i think of anything. the minimum punishment for those who molest children should be:   fucking kill them. your most beautiful childhood memory of your parents:   probably something regarding fishing... your most horrifying childhood memory of your parents:   hearing my mom screaming in ashley's room, calling her a slut, a whore, worrying i'd be in ashley's place some day... a friend you would name as a godparent to your child:   if we're even still friends then... colleen. the moment you are most ashamed of:   i've told this story enough times.  it's the same moment i'm most embarrassed of. someone who shared this moment with you:   um.  his name is joel. what do you think of people who have fake relationship statuses (like married to their best friend) on facebook?   i mean it's whatever, but it may be frustrating if you wanna know if that person is really in a relationship without asking. if your employer looked at your facebook page, do you think they'd fire you?   lmao after seeing i'm conservative, i'm sure. do you wish facebook had a "dislike" button or would that cause too many arguments?   i'm neutral.  i see both sides. who's your favorite band? how long have they been your favorite?   ozzy and metallica have been two of favorites since middle school started, and the others, i don't really remember.  my most recent favorite band tho is a day to remember, who i've liked for a bit over a year now. do you get annoyed when people try to get you to like their music, even though you've told them before that it's just not your thing?   that's never really happened to me.  now, i've been told my music is pretty much devil music and is nothing about depression, death, and despair because my best friend's fucking ignorant, but she hasn't tried to control the kind of music i like exactly. last concert you were at? was it good?   alice cooper, and it was EPIC.  it was storming and we were all soaking wet outside.  he did that illusion where his head gets chopped off by a guillotine, which was REALLY cool.  towards the end, huge balls were being passed through the crowd and he sang a rendition of "another brick in the wall" by pink floyd and it was just.  holy shit it was badass. who was your favorite band in elementary school? do you still listen to them?   it was probably green day, and yeah, i love them. looking at your appearance alone, would people be surprised to learn that you listen to the music that you do (ex. do you dress goth but listen to country)?   it's pretty obvious what i listen to. pro-gay rights or anti-gay rights?   i am for rights towards certain parts of the LGBTQ+ community.  i'm sorry to tell you, but i sincerely believe there are... certain sexual/gender-oriented decisions... that are not "real."  i won't go into detail on tumblr because it's a liberal parade and frankly i don't feel like hearing it. separation of church and state or no?   DEPENDS DEPENDS DEPENDS.  it REALLY depends on the very unique situation. prayer in school, yay or nay?   you'd best let a child pray to themselves in school. free healthcare (like in canada), good or bad?   make it free, yes. using the word "slut" against women--okay or not okay?   against a woman who deserves it?  sure.  before every fucking reader gets triggered, a slut is merely defined as a feminine character who has multiple sexual partners without much commitment.  ummm, last time i checked, there are women who do JUST that???  it's just a fact???  i'm white.  you can call me white without fucking offending me.  same thing for a "slut," i'd merely be stating a fact about you.  people have made such a big fucking deal out of this word. if you were pregnant, how long would you wait to write something about it on facebook?   OH BOY IT'D BE QUICK.  probably right after my husband knew, really!  i've already got pregnancy announcements planned!  i want to make a really creative pregnancy announcement photograph with my hubby, those are like... my favorite pictures ever. (: when you're on a first date with someone, do you like it when they ASK if they can kiss you?   i'm not really into the idea of a first date kiss, but yeah, i think i'd appreciate being asked. in your opinion, is omitting some of the truth the same thing is lying?   hm.  i do believe i- well... i don't know.  it depends on what you say, i guess, but in general, you're not lying yet...? what's your favorite kind of lip piercing? (monroe, labret, snakebites, etc.)   vertical labret!!!  i really like these because i feel it enunciates the symmetry of your face. what's the most annoying "type" of drunk person?   well i mean, this is far more repulsive than annoying, but angry drunks. at what time in your life were you happiest? if it was in the past, would you want to go back and relive it, though still knowing all the things you know now? if you had the option, would you choose (if it’s in the present) or have chosen to stay here/there forever and never learn anything new?   the whole time i was dating jason.  the first one or two years were the best.  but would i go back there, knowing what i do now?  no.  i can't.  there's no way i could. when is the right time to start having sex with someone you’ve become romantically interested in?   honestly this is the same thing as a question i answered earlier today about when to consider getting engaged.  time doesn't really determine this, but rather the intensity of the bond created.  in general again though, i'd personally wait about a year, i suppose, to ensure you're both very serious about these feelings. if you honestly heard the voice of god talking to you, would you tell anyone? how would you tell them? (i.e., "Conversations with god" is a result of the author claiming to have heard god’s voice loud and clear, but some people would have gone packing to the mental institution, and others would have told their church… etc.)   i would hate that, honestly.  i don't wanna be hearing voices, regardless of who you are.  but i do believe i'd tell my mom, but probably only her. have your parents ever told you that you couldn’t hang out with a certain someone?   that i couldn't, no, that they didn't recommend it, yes. could you forgive a boyfriend or friend who physically hurt you?   LMAO NOPE BYE FAM do you take care of your friends when they’re sick?   the only person i've ever truly taken care of when sick was jason when he had bronchitis. do you own any real diamonds or other expensive jewelry?   i don't think so. has anyone ever gave you jewelry as a present?   mhmm. do you like diamonds or gemstones better?   other gemstones, def. silver or gold?   gold.  i find it prettier and i can't wear silver anyway, i'm allergic. what kind of soda is your favorite?   mountain dew, shamefully. do you use any acne products?   not anymore. what do you take when you have an upset stomach?   peptobismol do you get angry when people criticize your taste in music, or do you just shrug it off?   when people say they don't like it, not at all, but if you're gonna straight-up criticize it like it's "bad" or "wrong" or something...?  i won't get angry, but definitely annoyed.  i find it aesthetically pleasing.  you find your music aesthetically pleasing.  shut the fuck up. have you ever smoked?   i have not.

[marshallhawkins666]

Sexism; or My Attempt to Score Feminist Points with the Ladies; or Getting Distracted and Ranting About Corporate America Without Any Research!

(Disclaimer, if it seems like I’m being sarcastic I probably am.)

It seems like we’re all posting all over social media and all over our lives about how good we are as people. Anytime we’re posting shit on these platforms it’s usually some form of bragging. Fine. I get it. Check me out. Karen likes this. Oooo Ted comments ‘this is problematic racist because you called that guy black’. And so on whatever. We’re all posting all this shit about how fucked up it is that police brutalize these people and rich white guys are raping these people or how this chick keeps lying about being raped and this Mom is a terrible parent cuz her kid is pissing on a picture of Obama. So we gotta get the Republicans cuz they’re all heartless ghouls. Or gotta get those Libtards trying to take my guns and spreading Gay Communism to my children! Not great examples but you get it.

It’s not fucking brave to be like ‘I, the straight white male think women are equal!’ or ‘I think black people are just as good as white people! Cops shouldn’t shoot unarmed black males!’. How fucking bold. Wow. Good job. You’re a real hero. Or heroine. See I’m not sexist.

And we walk around going he’s a sexist because he said cunt! He’s a racist because he said the n-word! We’re acting like three year olds telling on each other for cursing. And then we keep walking like we have this imaginary sash and a crown that says ‘Not-racist, not-sexist, see? because i can tell who somebody is based on a word they used! And i never use those words! Can i buy you a drink? I’m pure! ooo weee women are greeeeaaat’ Like if i just write the word nigger right here that means i’m racist right? I must really hate black people. That word is magic. It transforms you into a slave owner mentality monster. That’s silly. It’s never one word. It’s the context. It’s the meaning  and intent behind the word. Censorship is fucking dumb. Censoring art is even worse. There was a communist revolution once and they destroyed all religious art. That’s dumb. That’s so misguided. 

The truth is sometimes we’re all sexist, racist, homophobic. Sometimes on accident! Admit it! That’s not even the point. The point is to recognize it and learn from it and grow as a person and don’t act on these made up stereotypes society and media put in your brain. Also admit when you’re racist! One time I called one of my black friends, one of my other black friends name. That was racist of me. I fucked up. I didn’t mean to. I was an idiot and racist in that moment probably. And then evaluate yourself! Have empathy!! Sheesh.

It seems to me we’re all seeing horrible things happening and we instantly make them about ourselves. We instantly put ourselves in a position of hostility because we react so emotionally now because the news told us when you hear the word ‘cops’ or ‘woman’ you get fucking ANGRY. The news says it’s an all out culture war. Which side are you on? Huh bro? Which side? We don’t even care what’s right. We care who’s right. We want to be right more than we want shit to change. Does anybody talk to each other? Or are we all reacting to the reactions of shit. We’re in an echo chamber and we don’t remember what the original sound even was. We’re just sitting on the edge of the ocean dipping our toes in the very, VERY edge of the water and judging and yelling about every wave even though we don’t talk about what’s causing it. We’re just cars covered in bumper stickers and if you cut me off in traffic with a Trump sticker I’m gonna fucking rear end the hell out of you cuz you’re obviously a rapist nazi. Or you’ve got a Hilary sticker and obviously you’re a Communistic trust fund college kid going through a hippie phase and constantly refers to Marx despite never reading a word of the ‘Communist Manifesto’. 

The Kavanaugh (sp?) trial thing was so ugly. Obviously we have no culture and no grace or dignity. Because fuck that. Grace doesn’t get views. Dignity doesn’t get hits, baby. Where’s the juice?! Is he a pedophile rapist or is he a Saint? There’s no fucking nuance at all. We just want to crucify. It’s sad. We wanna get on TV and yell at each other and name call and tell people ‘here’s the news, two unqualified idiots yell at each other for a half hour. Okay! Here’s some weird prejudice way of looking at it! Which fucking side are you on? Satan or Jesus? Pepsi or Coke? Don’t worry! Tune in after the commercial and we’ll keep justifying your prejudices!’

I remember hearing on a radio station in Grand Theft Auto five, the DJ goes ‘tune in to WXYZ News, justifying your prejudices since 1992′ or whatever. It’s so outrageously true it hurts. Turn on any news station. We live in a capitalist society. Shit is run on money no matter what. So giant corporations pay people to tell you what’s going on. That’s so inherently insidious, right? They’re gonna pay people to tell you to keep voting a certain way and to keep buying iPhones and Nabisco. This is what freedom looks like! You get to pick what kind of Nabisco cookies you want! You have the freedom to be in debt to one of five banks! Ah how beautiful this country is! Look at the breathtaking skyline of Walmart, American Express, and McDonalds! How beautiful the homogeneity of capitalism all over this concrete nation and slowly but surely all over this planet! You get to choose which of these twelve (and ever decreasing towards a monopoly!) corporations you can work for! With the promise of a trophy wife and some kids you half-resent! Ugh, I hate it. I hate myself for getting caught up in this kind of angsty teenage energy. 

I believe we’re arguing about the wrong things. I don’t think humans are the enemy. I think the enemy is the same as it has always been. It’s the inhuman systems we create. These inhuman systems that put people in charge whether they’re qualified or not. Because it allows for the wrong people to attain to much power. And these people transform into something inhuman. Because it’s never one person. We like to put faces to it. We like to say Hitler did all that! Well, he did. But also a giant army of people did too. That system that was created to persecute and we fell in line. This is a we problem (please reference the Michael Jackson song ‘Man in the Mirror’). 

We’re fighting among ourselves while system continue to allow for evil to exist. The thing to destroy is the systems. Not us. Not your neighbor. Not that kind of racist guy you see at the gym. Not that weird girl telling you all white men are rapists. They’re scared. What I mean is we’re scared. And it’s because of the systems we created. It’s not the individuals. Even the weird lizard people news anchors aren’t the problem. They are a symptom of a much, much bigger problem. But it’s so easy to confuse us because we’re so tired and busy and our dad’s are dying and your uncle’s sick and your cousin’s in jail and you’re not getting enough hours at work and your boyfriend keeps texting Erica from work. So we get mad at these faces that some corporation props up on a screen to get money and ratings. And then we get mad at each other for not hating the same faces we do. 

I don’t know anything I’m talking about really but my guess is that the evil or rather the shit that is planned to keep us docile as a masses is hidden from us. Obviously that sounds conspiracy-ish. And it is i guess. 

But my point being stop hating your Dad because he thinks building a wall is a good idea. Stop hating your sister because she said maybe we shouldn’t punch Nazis in the face. Stop hating your neighbor because he’s afraid of Islam. Becuase we all feel a certain type a way because of the one of two news channels we choose to subscribe to. And the news has been telling us to hate each other since news was invented. Talk to your dad. Talk to your sister. Talk to your neighbor. Or don’t but understand that they’re just scared and don’t know what to do. We are all scared and exhausted and don’t know what to do. Maybe as a rule of thumb we should always try to find the humanity in what’s happening. Not try to find what problematic alliance you should join and then claim the other side is aligning themselves with Darth Vader. We don’t know what’s going on. We just create villains or heroes because of a headline a corporation paid to put in your brain. That’s gross. Let’s discuss what’s right not who’s right. Not this made up left vs. right, pepsi vs. coke, Red Sox vs. Yankees. We need to grow up and talk like adults. Me included. 

[smalltownidiots]

OOC: Vent

There is a lot of things I need to get off my chest. The past two-three days have been plagued by drama involving one of my oldest friends. Lies, threats, and manipulation played a huge part in this.  Let me first say, all names are being censored to ensure no one bothers any of these people. This is a vent. If they chose to reveal themselves is their own decision. I’m not sending anyone to attack them and if you know who I’m talking about, DO NOT GO AND ATTACK THEM. STAY OUT OF IT. THIS IS A VENT, NOTHING MORE.

Maybe I should start at the beginning. I was friends with this one person 8 months ago. We kind of bonded and got to slowly get to know each other while drama was happening with another friend of mine. I, in a huge error of judgment, allowed myself to be pulled to this other girls side and ignored what was happening to my friend. Something I forever regret. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. She didn’t deserve it. I was a piece of shit friend.

Anyway, during this time we would talk a lot on calls and in chat, we’d talk and sometimes shit talk a lot, it became normal between us. Eventually, she invited me to join her friend's group and I shrugged and thought, oh why not? So I did. It was fun while it lasted, and I should have seen the signs on how bad things were. They were shit talking up a storm about some other group and I thought it was ok. Boy did I find I was wrong. I started to learn more and more about the girl I was friends with, and the more I saw, the more I found I disliked them. They had hurt another one of my friends during this time, and it got really bad.

I began venting to some friends in a different group chat to see if any of them could help ease my irritation. This happened a few times. I made the mistake of name dropping, something I have not done since. A person in that group sent the girl screenshots of my vent and she took them to the admins of that group. Without even trying to get my side of the story, or even opening a dialogue, they humiliated me in front of everyone in the group and then decided to boot me out. I was told by the two people that followed me with leaving the group that the admin that humiliated me was going to apologize for that much, but it never happened. I wound up being the only person apologizing and I get a thank you. That's it.

And so from there I move on and create my own group, using the idea from an old group that I ran and closed before then. One that I couldn’t seem to detach myself from and we were up and running. Before we even get started running, we get an anon accusing us of plagiarizing their group. just to note we didn’t even have any of the pages up yet with the rules, muse list, about or anything. Just the main page and theme.  Come to think of it, we don’t even have the faq set up yet and its been running for almost 3 months now.

One day, Now I would like to mention, these people could have been completely innocent, people from the other group that wanted peace but were scared we wouldn’t accept them, or spies. We got two applications, one of the applications being word for word identical to an app for the other group. One of the admins checked that out and we talked to the mun. After which we accepted them, by this point time had passed by and we were over the drama. Things were running and we were happy. They wound up just being inactive so we had to boot them for inactivity, end of story on that little detail. I to this day don’t think I know who they were, but honestly? If they were there for peace, I was and still am willing to make peace.

We had a small drop in muses for a period within the group, only losing two muns during this time. It wasn’t that bad and we wound up recovering rather quickly for it. But around when people were dropping muses they weren’t interested in, we for some strange reason got a submission (we had turned off our anons by this point, there were more I don’t quite remember anymore) It was a gravestone that read rip this group. Truth be told, we have never laughed so hard. We soon deleted it afterward. Why bring personal drama into your group, right?

There was a point I tried to make a group that was bent around the idea of giving people a second chance, and trust me, I give people more chances than they deserve. This was a bad idea from the get-go. Despite my better judgment, I allowed that girl and my longtime friend in. During this time I was upset with them as well for some reason but I’d gotten over it.

Things began to take a turn for the worst for my friend after an ooc reply to an ic roleplay. I can’t speak for all of the details, but I feel the other girl is more at fault than my friend is. Rather than continuing drama, and asking for it to end, block and ignore, end of drama. That simple. But.. it didn’t work that way. Threats to locate an ip address and beat the shit out of them were made, threats to out personal information onto the internet in order to ruin them. General harassment and cyberbullying.

I’ve been hearing them out for a while since this all started and my longtime friend and I have become close again.

The moral of this vent is, If you feel that shit-talking in order to start drama is ok, or it’s ok for you to shit talk because its just ‘venting’ then it should be ok for everyone else. Others have emotions and I feel if you’re forcing them to feel bad for things they do, one should check themselves as well to make sure they have done nothing to make them at fault. I don’t think I will ever need them, and I will not be sharing any of them, but I have screenshots and uploads of everything I was able to see. And I don’t delete my receipts.

I hope that none of this happens to the rest of you in this world of roleplay. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re the only one in the wrong. And to admins of groups, hear your members out, don’t let one member have complete hold of everything. If that one member is doing horrible stuff and you tolerate it, then who’s really running the group? You or them?

Get the whole story, you’d honestly be surprised at how wrong you can be at times. I’ve learned this lesson more than once. Not believing another member and trusting my friend at first instead. I almost kicked the other member out then I learned the truth. Safe to say.. I’ve learned from all of this to be more careful on the people I talk to. And I hope you all do the same. No one deserves to be harassed, receive hate anons, be told to kill themselves, being called false accusations under ridiculous claims that will have absolutely no hold.

Just try to be the best person you can be. I love you all, I’m sorry, this actually got longer than I thought it would. I might not end up posting it.. But, If you’re seeing this, then I decided to post it.

I know so so so so many amazing people, and they all deserve so much better with the people that are good to them, will influence them to be their best and not act their worst. Your true friends will bring out the good in you, fake friends will bring out the worst in you. 

Again, I love you all and please remember, this is just a vent that I wanted to put out there to give myself peace of mind. If you know who these people are, leave them alone. Do not bother them, do not message them in any form of rude or angry fashion about this, do not send hate to them. Do not do anything that will fan the flames.  All of this is told from my own side. Everyone has their own story and version of what happened. It’s up to the individual on what to believe. -Robyn