#I MISS THIS CHRIS EVANS!!! WHEN WILL HE COME BACK FROM THE WAR!!!!!

[viggos-mortensen]

- Are you serious? There's like, 200 steps. And the rails are garbage. - Well hey, if its too hardcore, then- - You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that? - There are girls watching.

[chrisevansonly]

Uhhh hiii!!!🥺

Can we get some fluff protective bf Chris when you (the reader) hurts yourself after Chris scared you? (Nothing big just like a scratch or sprain?)🥺🥺🥺

Just A Bruise

pairing: chris evans x female reader

summary: prank wars are usually fun and games until someone ends up with a little bump…

warnings: none really, minor injury, very sweet chris

a/n: hi lovely anon, thank you for requesting!! i’m getting back into my inbox finally, i know i’ve been slacking with that recently, so I apologize! i’m going to try and work through that, and I might do a harry blurb to this too cause i found this request v sweet<3

Anyone that knew Chris knew he was an avid prankster from videos with his brother, to his friends and other family members, so naturally you were more than aware that he would more than likely get you in on his antics. You were quite a calm person, usually sticking to yourself and your work most days, Chris always loving that softness you added to your shared home, but deep down he loved how easy it was to scare the absolute shit out of you.

There were few times where you weren’t having it, whether it be after a bad day or if you were under stress with a deadline for work, but today probably topped the times he probably should not have scared you.

He was lucky you were as forgiving as you were.

After finishing up some much needed files before you took 3 weeks vacation to travel some of Europe with Chris and his family. In retrospect you should have realized your missing boyfriend was up to something when the house was too quiet, because although there was always a certain sombreness to the house, Chris still managed to fill it with noise.

“Chris?”

Huffing softly you walked down the stairs and moved towards the living room, he was still nowhere to be found, up until you turned past the couch and he jumped out from behind it yelling

“Boo!”

He laughed as you screamed, a hand coming up to your chest but that soon stopped after you tripped backwards on the corner of the love seat and landed straight on your hip, hitting the corner of the coffee table

“ow ow ow”

You lay flat on the floor a mixture of laughing and crying because honestly you were in some pain

“Fuck..honey-y/n you okay?”

“I hate you.”

He knew you were joking but he couldn’t help but kneel next to you, his hands holding your face gently as he wiped some of the tears away

“I’m so sorry baby, really are you okay?”

Blinking up at him you nodded

“My hip hurts, but i’m fine”

Chris helped you up his features full of regret as he watched you wince, his hand moving to check your hip noting the deep black and purple bruise that was beginning to form

“Here, sit on the couch i’ll get you some ice”

“Chris i’m-”

“Please..”

You could see how bad he felt, and despite it being an accident you did as he told, settling yourself down onto the couch waiting for him to bring you some ice. Moments later he’d brought over some water, an ice pack and a few snacks for you

“Here…got some snacks, water and some ice for your hip”

You smiled patting the spot next to you

“Thank you my love, it was an accident you know, I forgive you”

“I still hurt you”

Letting out a quiet laugh you leaned over to press a kiss to his cheeks

“Chris baby, I love you, it was an accident, maybe let’s take a break from the pranks…at least until my hip isn’t falling off?”

That got a laugh out of Chris which made you feel a bit better knowing he really did feel bad for hurting you

“I love you too, I can do that..no more pranks”

Did you really think he’d be able to hold off on the no pranking rule until your hip felt better? No, but you had some of your own tricks up your sleeve, and maybe the hurt hip would come in handy more than you thought it would.

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Don’t Take My Sunshine Away, Part I

Title: Don’t Take My Sunshine Away, Part I

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Reader (Sunshine)

Fandom: The Gray Man

Word Count: 2.5K

Series Summary: You lived your life on a schedule. Everything is planned out from sunrise to sunset. But what happens when you go out on a limb and out of your comfort zone? Will it have dire consequences?

Chapter Summary: You’d agreed to meet someone from the internet and you find yourself tied up in a basement. 

Warnings: dark fic!, attempted mugging, drugging, abduction, suspension bondage, Murder Daddy™️, oral sex (m receiving), dub-con, non-con, unprotected p-in-v sex, knife play, biting, blood play

A/N: I had an idea about Lloyd Hansen. Here is that idea. I haven’t written for Chris Evans’ character since Steve Rogers pre-Infinity War so this was an exercise and a half! Also, many many many thanks to @peyton-warren and @raccoon-eyed-rebel for helping me entertain Lloyd and for helping me to not lose my mind whilst writing this. Unbeta’d, we die like people who tried their best. 

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics 

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art: by me

Spotify Playlist is here. 

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

It’s just your luck, honestly.

You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. The place was a dark street. The time was 9:03 pm.

Well, technically you could blame your Tinder date for this. He didn’t fucking show up and he didn’t respond to your texts or calls. Like he just disappeared off the face of the Earth. You ended up waiting for an hour and decided to just pay for your third cup of coffee and leave.

Luckily for you, the buses were still running and there was a stop just across the street from the diner. You climb off your stool at the counter and exit through a particularly noisy door. It alerts some guys down the street and they turn to look at you before turning back to each other. Your sigh of relief is reversed when you get across the street and hear one of them shouting at you before moving closer.

You check the bus schedule that hangs in the bus shelter. You only have to wait for five minutes for safety. 

What could go wrong?

“Hey baby, can I have your number?” The overwhelmingly strong skunky smell of bad weed hits your nasal passage and you gag. “Oh, what? I’m disgusting to you? Stuck up, bitch!”

“Look, I’m just trying to get home. I don’t want any trouble.” Your hand went to your pocket where you had your safety keychain on your keyring.

“Too fucking bad because you just landed yourself in trouble, cunt,” Three long strides and he has you in his grip, pulling you behind the bus shelter into the empty alleyway. He pushes you onto the wet pavement and is on top of you in seconds. He watches as you open your mouth to scream and he clamps a hand around your throat, cutting you off. “Who do you think is coming for you, unlucky bi–”

“What the fuck…hey!” A voice is coming from the street and getting closer.

Your attacker is being pulled off of you and it’s so dark in the alley that you can’t fully see who grabbed him. You see a dark blur and you hear sounds of a struggle before a strong pair of hands is helping you up. 

“Are you ok, Miss?” You’re being ushered down the alley to the only lit streetlight. The more you walk under its glow, you notice the man who saved you. Your eyes are drawn to the push broom on his lip first, then to his slicked-back hair, and finally to his dramatically-patterned polo and pastel chino pants.

“Yeah, I’m fine…I think. Thanks.” You reach out your hand to touch his where it lingers on your arm. He doesn’t attempt to remove his hand, even after you squeeze it with yours quickly.

“No problem, why don’t I take you home? My car’s just around the corner here.” He does attempt to pull you towards the street. You know better than to let anyone take you to a second location, so you put your hand up with a smile.

“That’s quite alright. I’ll just wait for the bus if you don’t mind.” You try and remove your arm from his hand but his grip on you gets tighter.

“Let me at least walk you back to the bus stop?”

“I’ll be fine, I promise.” You try to turn away and he pulls you closer to him.

“Why did you have to make this difficult, Sunshine?” His angry growl is quiet but no less intimidating.

“I’m sorry, wha–” You don’t get to finish as you feel a sharp prick in your bicep. Looking down, you see a syringe sticking out of your skin. You go to pull out the needle but darkness fades into your eyesight and you slip off into the void.

You awake to a pounding in your head. Your arms are sore. Your legs are numb. And you can feel the stiff presence of duct tape over your mouth. Opening your eyes, you try to raise your hand to shield your eyes from the sudden brightness but you realize your arms and legs have been immobilized.

Looking around, you see that you’re suspended about three feet above the ground in some pretty elaborate rope bindings. Your wrists are crossed against your bare chest. Your left leg is being held up straight, while your right leg is only supported by two lengths of rope on your thigh, leaving your foot to dangle which means your pussy is on full display. 

You hear a door open and two sets of footsteps walk down the stairs. As the steps get closer, you hear two voices as well. 

“...didn’t have to punch me so fucking hard!”

“Yeah? Well maybe if you didn’t have your slimy hands all over my things, I wouldn’t have had to bruise your fucking spleen. Don’t be such a pussy, Dougherty!”

 “Fuck you, Hansen.”

“Don’t be sad I have a new plaything and you don’t.”

“Yeah. Just don’t wreck this one like that last girl.”

You struggle in the ropes and try and grunt loudly through the duct tape and the metal anchor that holds the rope loudly jostles. You pick your head up and look to your right as the men come into view.

As you recognize the man who had you on the ground, you couldn’t believe your eyes when you saw the geometric-patterned polo-wearing man who tried to “save” you. 

“I’m so glad you’re awake. I know you must have a lot of questions. But, you’re gonna listen first,” He walks until he can grab onto the ropes that hold you up. Looking down at you, he smiles sweetly. He begins to swing you toward him, letting go and watching as you swing back and forth, “Now, my name is Lloyd Hansen, but you are to call me Sir. You now belong to me. From every thought you have to every step you take. I own all of it. You may be wondering why I chose you of all people. Well, it had to be you, Sunshine. You’re the one.”

You are at his mercy as his hands grope at your tits and he pinches your nipples. You turn your head to look away but he just grabs you by the chin and makes you look at him.

“Now, Sunshine, you take what Sir gives you and you are appreciative. Trust me, this will all make sense later. But for now, I think it’s time I claim what’s mine.” He stalks over to your legs, standing between them. He places a kiss on your left ankle as he grabs at your right thigh. Pulling your core flush with his clothed hardness, you can feel exactly how excited he is to own you.

“I’d hate to interrupt, but–”

“But yet, you are interrupting. What?” Lloyd says as he trails kisses down your calf, his mustache tickling you as he moves.

“Well, I just…you said you would pay me. And I don’t really wanna stay around for whatever this is, honestly.” 

Lloyd finally turns his head to the other man in the room before patting your leg, “I’ll be right back, Sunshine. Don’t you go anywhere, ok?”

Fucking asshole.

Pulling out a wad of cash from his pocket, Lloyd starts counting bills, “So what do you say to…a hundred bucks?”

“I say fuck you if you think I’m taking less than half a yard. Shit, I didn’t even get to fu–”

The pop of a gunshot cuts through not only his sentence but also his left eye. You watch as Lloyd pockets the money and turns back to you with a smile.

“Fuck, ok. I didn’t plan on shooting him in front of you. But…well, I did,” He caresses your cheek before ripping off the tape from your mouth. He tilts his head and raises his eyebrows, expectantly waiting for you to speak.

“What do you want from me?” Your wrists hurt from struggling against the ropes.

“Oh, Sunshine. I want everything from you…eventually. But for now, I want to use your mouth.” He unbuttons and unzips his pants, “Those fucking lips of yours look so delectable.” He traces your bottom lip with his thumb and you debate biting it. Then, you remember the dead guy in the room.

Just comply. He won’t have to hurt you if you comply.

You clear your throat to get Lloyd to look at you. “Um…S-Sir?”

“Look at you calling me Sir already like a good girl,” He beams, looking down at you and holding your face in his murderous hand, “What do you want to ask me?”

“Are you going to kill me, Sir?” You couldn’t stop the fat tears from falling as you blink up at his face. You watched as his smile fell and he crouches to bring his face to your eye level.

“I would love to tell you that I won’t kill you, Sunshine. But it really all depends on you. If you don’t give me a reason to kill you, I won’t kill you. It’s as simple as that, Sunshine.”

You feel your eyes glaze over as you thought about what Lloyd had said. You didn’t want to give him a reason to kill you. You also know that there was no one coming to save you. You had no family, no friends, no roommates. You had lived a solitary life. 

The sound of Lloyd clearing his throat brought you back to reality.

“Use my mouth, Sir.” 

No sooner does the half-sultry half-terrified sentence leave your mouth, than Lloyd is reaching into his chinos to pull out his fat dick as he walks around you. You tilt your head back and are met with his impressive package. Eight inches of veiny length in your face suddenly is a lot to handle. As he strokes himself, he makes sure to keep it just out of reach. You hate yourself for licking your lips and following his hand with your eyes.

He positions his dick slightly over your mouth and squeezes his length from base to tip so that a dribble of pre-cum hits your lips. You snake your tongue out to taste him, the salty bitter taste you expect turns out to be almost sweet. Why couldn’t he just taste terrible?

“Open up, Sunshine.” He steps closer to you as you part your lips. He doesn’t stop pushing in until you feel his balls touch your nose. You close your lips around him and breathe through your nostrils. 

Inhaling deeply, you’re hit with the familiar scent of sweetness mixed with musk—sort of Earthy. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say it was African black soap. You knew the smell very well, you used the body wash every day.

“Fuuuuck, baby. Gonna fuck this throat.” He wraps his large hands around your throat as he pulls out slowly, leaving just the tip before he slams back in making you gag. 

He starts a steady rhythm and soon his balls are slapping you in the face. You can deny it all you want, but the way he fits perfectly in your mouth is obvious. The way your hands clench into fists and unclench denotes the urge to grab him and pull him deeper. 

One of his hands moves from your throat to your tits. Pinching your nipples and groping the soft flesh must not be enough because soon he is slapping at your breasts, getting you to grunt around his dick. The groan that leaves him is so sinful, you wish you could squeeze your thighs together.

But you don’t have time to worry about that because Lloyd is pulling out of your mouth. A string of saliva connects you until he steps back. You try to follow him with your mouth but he’s out of reach too soon.

“Sir?” You don’t like the air of desperation in your voice when you speak. You watch as he moves to the other end of your body and you soon feel his hand roam from your thigh to your pussy.

In one swift motion, Lloyd is inside your cunt. With the grip his hands have on your hips, you know it’s going to hurt tomorrow. But, that’s a later problem because Sir is fucking you like he hates you. You should hate this, but you don’t. At least not yet.

“Fuck, Sunshine…knew your pussy was gonna feel good but DAMN!” 

You can’t help the slew of sounds that escapes your mouth as he fucks you. The last of which sort of sounded like “Hnnnngg”. You feel as if you are going to explode at any minute but a spike of fear hits you as you think about where Lloyd is going to finish. You’re not on birth control. The speed of his thrusts picks up and you can feel him swell inside you. Fuck it.

“Sir, cum with me!”

“Fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuck…” Lloyd latches onto your stretched left leg with his teeth, leaving behind deep and angry bite marks as he empties inside you. Pulling out, he watches his spend leak from you, righting his pants.

You are in a state of bliss so deep that you barely register as Lloyd bites into your right thigh enough to break the skin in a few places. But you can feel the sting of his butterfly knife as it moves over your skin.  The letters “LH��� well with blood on your leg as silent fat tears roll down your face.  

“Now you can wear my bite mark like the badge of honor that it is. And when that fades, you’ll still have my initials so you can be returned to me if you are ever lost. I don’t plan on losing you, so you better not plan on getting lost, Sunshine.”

“I don’t want to get lost, Sir. I like it here with you.” The tremble in your voice doesn’t hide your fear, and part of you doesn’t want it to. You want him to know he doesn’t have to worry about losing you somehow.

“Think you can behave for a bath and a meal? I’ll have to supervise the bath, of course. And we’d be eating together. Unless you like being hungry, in your own filth with my cum dripping out of you all night. What do you say?” Lloyd offers, the fingers of one hand ghosting over his initials on your thigh.

“Would I still have to be tied up, Sir?” So many questions you could have asked, but you picked this one. 

Maybe if your hands were free, you could…do what? Fight him? Pick a lock? 

No, just comply. You can do this. 

“You won’t be tied up, but I do have a gift for you upstairs. But you can only have it if you’re a good girl. Are you gonna be a good girl, Sunshine?” While he spoke, he dragged a fingernail from your thigh to your upper torso as he walked around your body to your head.

“I’ll be a good girl for you, Sir. I promise.” The words on your tongue felt both foreign and familiar. Almost like you weren’t afraid for him to hurt you. 

You were afraid that he wouldn’t. And that scared you more than anything. 

Part II

A/N: There will be more of this. I’ve never written for Lloyd before but I enjoyed him as the little devil on my shoulder.

@raccoon-eyed-rebel @peyton-warren

If you would like to be tagged in the next installment, lemme know 🫣

[exhuastedpigeon]

✨ 2023 writing round-up ✨

I posted the more words to Ao3 this year than I have in any other previous year, which is wild since I only really started writing again in June. It's wild the choke hold that Eddie Diaz and Evan Buckley have on me. Here's my writing round-up for 2023 :)

June

If we’re both still single… Teen || 2.9k

This was my first Buddie fic. Little did I know I was about to fall down the fucking rabbit hole.

“I’m sorry, you’re gonna have to repeat that for me?” Eddie had a beer halfway to his lips, his arm slung lazily on the back of the couch. “If we’re both still single when we’re 35, we should just get married,” Buck repeated, as casually as if he was saying they should order pizza or change the channel from the basketball game to hockey. 

let me see them tan lines Teen || 2.8k

Four times the 118 notices Eddie Diaz's ring tan line and one time he was wearing a ring.

give me a sign, I want you next to me Teen || 7k

Buck loves working at the 118. He loves living in LA. He loves his kid. He loves the life they've manage to build. The only thing he doesn't love is that his husband is across the world in a war zone. OR The 118 knows Buck has a really cute kid and a partner he loves, they just think that partner is his husbands ex.

July

it's like everything you say is a sweet revelation Mature || 5.6k

“Marry me,” Eddie said. It wasn’t a question, it was a sentence. He said it like he was commenting on the weather or last night's Dodgers game. Buck slowly lowered his coffee cup, eyes wide. Eddie lifted his drink and took a sip, a satisfied hum escaped him as he did. “Come again?” “Marry me,” Eddie took another sip of his coffee. “Please?”

boiling point Teen || 2k

Growing up, Buck heard the story about frogs and boiling water, that if you put a frog into boiling water, it’ll jump out, but if you put the frog is put in room temperature water and then slowly bring it to a boil, the frog won’t perceive the danger and will be boiled to death. When he was a kid, he had believed it, like so many other stories and fables. OR Evan Buckley's extremely extended metaphor for loving Eddie Diaz.

August

wet your lips (and smile to the camera) Mature || 6.8k

Buck has a problem and that problem is that Eddie Diaz is going to ruin his life. OR Eddie starts modeling on the side and Buck can't stop looking at his pictures, mostly because Eddie's ads are everywhere.

you are the only one that needs to know Teen || 2k

"You're not my dirty little secret. And I never want you to think that,” Buck says it practically into Eddie’s mouth, with a hand on Eddie’s chest. He shoves him, gently, into the Grant-Nash laundry room next to the bathroom. “But…” “But?” Eddie grins, feels the way Buck is grinning against his lips too and lets himself be moved backward until he collides with the washing machine. “But… I will miss sneaking off to make out with you when we finally tell everyone."

this kiss is something I can't resist Mature || 1.6k

Happiness snuck up on Evan Buckley like a summer storm in Florida, but unlike a summer storm, the happiness he was feeling didn’t seem to be going anywhere. If anything, it was getting bigger, the feeling threatening to jump out of his chest at any moment. 

take my hand, don't let it go Teen || 2.3k

In retrospect, dating a death doula pretty soon after one of the most traumatic experiences of Buck’s life, an experience where he actually died, was maybe not Buck’s smartest decision. In which Buck realizes that dating Natalia isn't what he needs and talks to Eddie about their shared death related trauma.

you're the cream in my coffee Explicit || 8.6k

“Dad, did you know there’s a coffee that’s made of poop!” “It’s not actually made of poop, bud,” Buck grinned, handing Eddie Chris’s backpack. “It’s partially digested cherries. The cherries actually ferment as they’re being passed through the civet’s intestines. They disinfect them and everything before they’re consumed.” “Yeah! That! It’s called copy loo-wake” “Kopi luwak.” “Uh huh!” “I take it you had fun with your Buck today, huh?” “Buck's the best dad!”

September

a dream is a wish your heart makes General || 3.3k

It takes a soft, domestic dream about Buck for Eddie to realize what's been true for a long time - he's in love with his best friend.

October

Hot and Heavy Explicit || 9.4k

Eddie can admit without shame that he’s having a bit of a hoe phase. He’s thirty, recently out of the closet, and even more recently single, he’s allowed to have some fun. In fact, he’s pretty sure it’s basically a requirement that he fuck around since he didn’t get to do it when he was younger. OR Five times Eddie had casual sex with someone who wasn't Buck and the time they finally got their shit together

Feels Like Magic Teen || 47.8k

“You used too much magic again,” Buck’s voice was quiet as he spoke, but he knew Eddie heard him. “You’re alive,” Eddie’s eyes were closed, but Buck knew the look Eddie would be giving him if they had been open. It was the same look Eddie had given him when he had said ‘because, Evan, you think you’re expendable but you’re not’. It was a look that made Buck feel truly and completely seen in a way he never had before. “There’s no such thing as too much if it saves you.” “Go to sleep,” Buck said, because if he left himself say anything else he’d be telling Eddie he loved him and he didn’t think in the bunk room at two in the morning after an exhausting call was the right moment, but then again, Buck was pretty sure he’d be taking that secret to his grave.

November

kiss and make up Explicit || 3.3k

Eddie always thought that if he and Buck ever kissed it would be in the heat of the moment, it would be pure relief that they were still alive. Maybe after a big rescue or (another) near death experience. That if it wasn’t in the heat of the moment as they both came down from an adrenaline rush that it would be something soft, probably in one of their kitchens while they did the dishes. He always figured that the first kiss would be like a homecoming. (Not that Eddie thought about kissing Buck often, because he doesn’t do that.) Instead of being soft and sweet or adrenaline fueled and filled with love and thanks that they're both alive, their first kiss comes in the middle of a fight in Eddie’s living room.

gold when you see me Teen || 4.3k

"Ouch,” Eddie says when he lands, his teeth clacking in his head. His ass hurts in an extremely unfun way, his ankle feels terrible, and he’s seeing spots. None of that is good news. “Eddie?” Buck sounds panicked. “Eddie?” “Down here,” Eddie calls up. He’s definitely going to have a bruised tail bone and there’s a pretty decadent chance that he’s sprained his ankle, if not broken it. He’s a little too shaken up to try to get up right now, especially since it's not like he’s not going to be able to get himself out of here. He takes a deep breath and feels every second of it in his ribs. On the bright side, they don't feel broken, just bruised. Buck’s face, illuminated by nothing but Eddie’s flashlight and Buck’s own, appears in the hole that Eddie fell through. “You okay?” Eddie will explore the tremor in Buck’s voice later, right now he needs to get out of this fucking hole before it caves in even more. “Definitely a little banged up, but I landed on the ground, not anything else.”

wanna lose my mind in a hotel room with you Explicit || 4.1k

"Think you’ll ever have that kind of love?” Eddie asks as he leans against the wall with a beer in his hand at Maddie and Chimney’s engagement party. He’s got a fond look on his face, if not a little wistful as he turns to face Buck. “I hope so,” Buck says with a small smile on his face as he looks from Maddie and Chim dancing with Jee-Yun between them to Eddie. He’s pretty sure he’s already got half of a love like that standing next to him, he just isn’t sure if it’s reciprocated. “I-I really hope so.” “Want to dance with me?” Eddie asks after a few seconds of quiet between them, his eyes bright in the yellow light of the string lights that crisscross the patio. 

December

it hurts to hope for more Mature || 15.5k

“I’m never - I’m never going to be a dad,” Buck sobs into Eddie’s shoulder. “She didn’t want kids. Why do I keep dating people who don’t want the same things as me? Is- is the universe telling me that I don’t deserve it?” “Hey, no,” Eddie pulls back from the hug and Buck lets out a pitiful sound at the loss of contact. “The universe doesn’t do that. The universe doesn’t scream and it definitely doesn’t get to tell you what you deserve, because you deserve everything Buck. Everything.” OR Buck wants to be a dad, it takes a couple break-ups and a major non-romantic heartbreak for him to figure out that maybe he already is.

can't make it stop, give me all you got Explicit || 4.1k

“Are we really doing this?” Buck’s lips graze the shell of Eddie’s ear as he speaks. They're in a club, the music is loud, so Eddie would have chalked the proximity of Buck’s mouth up to that, but Buck nips at his earlobe. “I think we are,” Eddie grins and turns his face to capture Buck’s mouth with his. He doesn’t care that they’re probably in view of all of their friends. He doesn’t care that there are sweaty, dancing bodies all around them. All he can think about is the way Buck’s hands feel on his waist, the way Buck’s breath hitches as Eddie grabs a handful of his ass. OR Eddie and Buck fuck in a club at Pride

[shitouttabuck]

ok stay with me here but: (loose) anastasia (1997) au

evan buckley: the missing, presumed dead, youngest child of the beloved/beloathed buckley family, all of whom were murdered when he was a kid—all except his older sister. except he’s alive, with the unfortunate downside of total amnesia, and nothing to tie him to anyone except a broken something that just reads: buck. so buck grows up alone, and it sucks, especially because it’s not all he’s ever known. he might not have his memories but he knows he's known what love is. home, love, family. there was once a time i must’ve had them too. home, love, family. i will never be complete until i find you.

maddie buckley: only daughter of the buckley family, fell in love with a bad man who tried to kill her whole family to get to her. got away and got safe. doesn’t know if doug’s alive. her brother’s probably dead. surviving’s not the same as living, and she’s been doing it for so long. but… have you heard… there’s a rumour in los angeles. she’s got the best and the brightest protecting her, and all that buckley family money. spreading them both thin could mean doug worming his way out of the woodwork but if there’s even a chance evan’s really out there? she’s already decided.

eddie diaz: conman, but more importantly, dad. there was a war, and then another one, and his wife left, and somewhere in there his parents took his kid from him. he does not have the money to fight them with lawyers, but he’s stubborn and not particularly respectful of the law and he’s heard that maddie buckley’s protective service team has means and money that allow for a) duking it out in court with his parents or b) getting his kid back in ways that are more uh legally grey. and it just so happens the rumours are that maddie buckley will do just about anything and pay just about any sum to find her long-lost brother. blond-haired, blue-eyed, missing at age 10—nearly two decades ago. he could look like anyone, now. sure, there’s the distinctive red birthmark over his eyebrow, but makeup and tattooing go a long way these days. oh, and conveniently, his partner in literal crime, however mild, has an old inside link with someone on maddie buckley’s bodyguard team. chim never shuts up about henrietta wilson—hen, he calls her—particularly when eddie’s fumbling a job and having to improvise and he feels the need to point out just how competent his previous partner steadfastly was.

if eddie and chim are holding illicit auditions for evan buckley lookalikes, and this massive beautiful man stumbles in apparently already having gone to the trouble of dressing for the part? who is eddie to look that gift horse in the mouth? the quicker they see this con through, the quicker he’s together with chris again.

except buck thinks eddie really believes he’s maddie buckley’s missing brother, and buck is warm and ridiculous and so genuinely curious about eddie’s own family, on this journey to find his own, and eddie can’t help but share christopher, and buck listens with bright eyes and holds the photographs so carefully in his big hands.

cons are never victimless, and eddie knows getting chris back takes priority over any moral quandary of identity theft here.

but buck asks about chris’s favourite things and stays up late on their crosscountry train to come up with plans for an accessible skateboard for a kid he’s never met. buck tells eddie he wonders if maddie’ll recognise him, and he hopes she does, because he’s never had anyone see him and know him before. buck asks eddie if he thinks they’ll stay friends, once they’re both reunited with their families. it’ll be nice not to have to miss anyone again, he tells eddie one night, quiet. missing who you don’t remember is one thing. missing who you know?

he trails off and falls asleep not long after, but eddie lies awake in the bunk below him for hours. his moral compass has always swung with whatever cognitive dissonance necessary to justify his actions because the final truth is: heart over mind. and chris has always been his whole heart. so falling in love with your mark has got to be the stupidest, most dangerous thing you can do.

even this is okay; he can handle breaking part of his own heart. but he didn’t realise he was holding so much of buck’s too, and now? he doesn’t know that he can survive breaking any of that.

[pandafishao3]

Throwback Rec List

I love that I get new readers with every new fic I write, but I also put together a list of my own little favourites from my AO3 that has started to disappear a little in the mass of fics! Sometimes I get asked to write about a specific theme and I actually already have a fic or two on that theme, so I thought it could be nice to bring a few older ones back :) Hope you can find something you like!

Show me how you burlesque

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence

Bucky is war veteran with a new prosthetic arm and bad sexual frustration who's trying to learn how to let people close. Steve is a burlesque dancer in an all-male club, and he wants to get to know Bucky better.

You can read it here.

Author's note: I love the movie "Burlesque" and I reeeally wanted to make something of that, I'm very happy with the aestethic of this fic!

****

I think we're the same

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator choose not to use archive warnings

Bucky is a teenage mutant with a steel arm and the ability to control metal. Having just moved to Brooklyn to a new high school, he's moody and angry and convinced he's the only freak hiding in plain sight. Until a scrawny kid called Steve suddenly interrupts his lunch. The biggest problem isn't the question on whether Steve is a mutant or not - the problem is that Bucky has absolutely no idea what to do about the fact that he is inexplicably hot.

You can read it here.

Authors note: Honestly I just wanted to write some shameless tentacle sex and it turned out to be the best smut scene I ever written, probably.

****

I could love you with my eyes closed (kiss you with a blindfold)

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence

Nothing really matters to Bucky, after he comes back from his last tour in a pointless war. When another veteran, Billy Russo, offers him a work that turns out not to be as legal as one might think, Bucky doesn’t care. There’s only one single thing that he does care about these days – and that is the fact that ever since he saw Steve Rogers across a crowded room, everything changed. And Steve might not know who he is, but Bucky still stalks him with the passion of a man in love and he knows that one day, that tiny little blond will be his.

OR: Bucky is a stalker and Steve just wants to be loved right

You can read it here.

Author's note: Gosh but I just love a stalker theme. Also, for this I weaved together the universe of Captain America, Daredevil, the Punisher AND The Iceman, which is one of my all time favourite Chris Evans movies.

****

Day 3 of Kinktober: Puppy Play

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Rating: Explicit Warnings: No warchive warnings apply

Steve has a problem with masturbation, and Bucky helps him by letting him be a sweet, obedient puppy for him. Now he’s coming home from work and is met by an excited puppy wanting to play. First, Bucky needs to check him over and make sure he behaved.

You can read it here.

Author's note: Oh this is truly one of my faves, I wanted to do this for such a long time. 24/7 puppy play is just yum.

****

Day 15 of Kinktober: Monster Fucking

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator choose not to use archive warnings

“You had a question for me” Bucky said to the strange creature in the water. The tentacle wriggled and then pulled back a little. Bucky found himself missing it. “I do” the cecaelia before him said calmly. Yet then his brow furrowed just the slightest and he tilted his head, as if he was measuring Bucky out. The water rippled softly about him in the misty night as he moved half a feet backwards, floating effortlessly. “My siren sisters told me of one sailor that did not seem to listen to their song. One who did not move closer, but rather kept away. It is not often my sisters come across a man they cannot spellbound. And my question is, if that young sailor might have been you?” he asked.

Or; Bucky is a pirate whose ship is attacked by mermaids, but he makes it out alive. That night, a cecaelia calling himself 'Steve' visits him, wanting to get to know him better.

Shameless tentacle sex.

You can read it here.

Author's note: Also something I had wanted to do for such a long time, I just love cecaelias! I def wanna write more of this in the future. Also, Pirate!Bucky? So hot

****

Marking his omega

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rape/Non-con

Bucky has been made an omega by Hydra. Steve becomes his alpha when he gets him back and does his best to reassure him. But bucky needs something more to be assured he belongs to Steve - he needs to be properly scent marked.

You can read it here.

Author's note: One of my oldest fics on here, this is PURE piss filth but actually, I still have a special place in my heart for this one.

****

(P.S - the header was taken from this pinterest)

[braveclementine]

Day 20~ 1:34 P.M.

Warnings: None, Readers under 18 can read this book.

Copyright: My OCs are Coach Yonce, Emma, Ila, Tempus, and Itty Bitty. I own these characters. I do not condone any copying of this.

For the most part, I had recovered from everything. The doctors had to re-break my knee though to set it properly. I was glad I was out for that. They cleaned all of my wounds and re-dressed them. They said we could look into getting a prosthetic for my pinky finger. I said I'd think about it.

It felt selfish to get a pinky finger prosthetic though when there were men and women coming in from war with blown off limbs and having to deal with that. If anyone need a prosthetic, it was them. I'd deal with a missing finger.

My parents managed to come and see me earlier today around nine in the morning. They didn't wake me up, so I didn't really see them until more around ten. Both my mother and my father were crying, though my brothers were slightly in the corner playing video games on their phones. They got off once they realized I was awake.

"Hey sweetheart." My mom said, tears streaming down her face. My mother was a very ugly crier, but right now she was the most beautiful sight in the world.

"Hi mom." I said, tears streaming down my own face. My mother and father peppered me with kisses, before they laid the presents they'd brought me down on the bedside table.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1 in DVD form since I'd missed the movie version. My brothers had bought extra Funko Pops so I didn't just have Dr. Strange and Iron man now. There was also Loki, Thor, Gamora, Starlord, Bucky Barnes, Captain America, and Hawkeye.

My stomach flipped unpleasantly upon seeing them. They had been there.

I said nothing though, except thanking them with what I hoped was the proper enthusiasm. I'd probably sell them on Amazon later. I could probably make a lot of money off of them. Maybe I could make even more if I signed the boxes. I had to be somewhat famous, right?

I questioned after Itty, Jaguar, and Otter's health. They were all fine, with their families back in California. My mother told me that different Marvel actors had been hosting them. Apparently my own family was staying with Chris Evans. Itty Bitty's family was staying with Benedict Cumberbatch, Emma was waiting for her parents to fly in from England with Chris Hemsworth, and Otter and her family were with Tom Hiddleston.

I did ask if they had seen Sebastian Stan. They didn't know anything that had passed between the two of us except that he had been there.

"He's been really torn up over you for some reason." My brother said in a bored voice. "I mean, he doesn't say anything, but whenever mom and dad left the room or whatever he was always asking Chris Evans or Robert Downey Jr. if you'd been found."

"Yeah, mom think she fancies you." My other brother joked.

I coloured a little, wondering at that statement.

"Mr. Downey has been amazing." My mother gushed. "He's been providing for all of the lawyers and everything. Well, helping get lawyers I should say. That Real Estate agent? Donald Trump? He had some good lawyers to help us out with suing the Russo brothers and the others that were involved."

"So. . . none of the Marvel actors knew what was going on?" I asked slowly, not entirely sure what I wanted the outcome to be.

"No." My mother said with a shake of the head. "In fact, one of the actors, the one that played Doctor List, he was killed to prevent him from spreading to the word. Apparently Mr. Stan told him what was happening and tried to get word out."

So Sebastian really had tried to get the word out? And the first doctor had been an actor?

"Miss Y/L/N, there are some people here to see you." A nurse said, coming into the room a few hours later.

"We'll leave you with them then." My mother said, kissing my forehead out and ushering my brothers out of the room.

Figuring it would be Itty or Otter or Emma or all of them, I attempted to prop myself up against the headboard.

"I don't think you should be sitting up yet." A familiar voice said and I froze.

"Sebastian." I whispered.

"Hey." He said softly, taking a seat next to the bed.

He was dressed nicely, his long pulled back into the man bun I loved. He seemed almost nervous and I guess I couldn't blame him. The last time I'd seen him, I'd killed someone and pointed a gun at his face.

"Er- I'm not alone." He muttered, gesturing behind him.

I looked up to see Robert Downey Jr., Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hiddleston, and Chris Evans there.

"Oh, er, hi." I said awkwardly, blushing. I had the hugest crush on Dr. Strange so this was kind've weird.

"Nice to finally meet you." Robert Downey Jr. said, holding his hand out as though I was the famous person. "Glad you're here as well. Stan over here has been a mess without you."

"Shut it Robert." Sebastian growled.

I smiled a little as I shook Downey's hand.

"Marvel fan?" Chris asked with a bit of a smile, gesturing to all the Funko Pops.

My face burned again, "Of sorts. I haven't seen any of the Captain America movies though. Er- I like Dr. Strange and Tony Stark."

Benedict smiled, shaking my hand as well. Tom grinned, laughing a little. Downey didn't seemed phased. "Of course I was your favorite."

"Well actually, Strange, then you, then Loki." I smiled. "But you know. But um, why are you all here?"

"Someone had to take care of Sebastian." Downey said, causing Sebastian's ears to go red. "And we're also the ones most invested in the case."

I nodded my head but couldn't really think of anything else to say. Luckily, Downey clapped his hands together once and said, "Well, we'll take these Funko pops out to sign them and leave you and Sebastian alone."

"Er- do you want them signed?" Chris asked, but as Robert was already carrying them out of the room, I cracked a smile. Robert was so cool.

"I, um, I'm sorry for pointing a gun at your face. I was terrified, I thought you were in on everything, that you had just been playing me." I murmured, looking away from him.

"I don't blame you." Sebastian was quiet. "It had to be confusing for you. I can't even imagine with everything you'd gone through what you were thinking."

There was a moment of silence before he said. "It was real for me too."

I lifted my eyes to his for a moment and he seemed serious enough. "All of it Y/N. The bad and the good. It was all real to me."

I hesitated, saying nothing. I wasn't entirely sure what he was trying to say.

Sebastian gently reached out and took both my hands into his. "It was real to me. I love you Y/N. Maybe on this facet you weren't entirely certain, but this is how I feel. Maybe you still don't want to see me ever again. Maybe you'd prefer to go without the spotlight being with me would put you in. But I want to be with you."

I could barely breathe. It was like something straight out of a book. Sebastian Stan, famous actor, wanted to be with silly old me?

"A-are you sure?" I asked breathlessly.

"Yes. I mean, I know I'm going to have to go through some therapy and shit before I'm fit to take perfect care of you. But I want to work through things with you, if you want to." He asked breathlessly.

I laughed a little, "Yeah, they're sending us to some sort of therapy treatment center. Me, Itty, Otter, and Emma. Apparently we have to live there and finish some sort of program and then we're free to leave if we pass at the end. But once I get out, if you still want to come and find me, I would like to be with you too."

Sebastian grinned and before I knew it, we'd both leaned into each other, our lips connected in a passionate kiss.

"I'll always find you Y/N. And if I can't, I'll never stop searching for you. That's a promise." Sebastian whispered against my cheek.

"Thank you for taking care of me in there Sebastian." I whispered, holding tightly on his hand. "I wouldn't have survived without you."

Sebastian squeezed my hand and stayed with me until I fell asleep once more.

⬅️➡️

[themculibrary]

Missing Scenes Masterlist

Links Last Checked: May 11th, 2024

part two

A Short Interlude (ao3) - daisherz365 scott/wanda T, 2k

Summary: During their downtime during the battles between the Avengers Scott shares his sacred 80s mix with Wanda. It isn't the only thing he shares with her much to the amusement of the rest of Team Cap.

Better Angels (ao3) - sabrecmc steve/tony E, 8k

Summary: Chris Evans mentioned in an interview (jokingly, unfortunately) that there was a deleted scene from Civil War with him and RDJ showering together.

Welp. Headcanon accepted.

Billionaire's cake (ao3) - everythingispoetry phil/tony G, 16k

Summary: The first time Phil gets to eat something baked by Tony, it's purely accidental. The other times - not so much. Or: a story about a relationship that starts with donuts and doesn't end because of donuts.

Cap's Reinforcements (ao3) - rockmusicplays G, 2k

Summary: Clint rounds up the rest of Team Cap. Missing scene between the Avengers' compound and the airport meet-up.

course-correct without a map (ao3) - stark2ash G, 1k

Summary: This was his favorite hymn, the son next to Sam whispers, and Sam smiles sadly and nods like it’s an old memory rather than new information, and Bucky sits there in his black tie and jacket and tries to feel like he’s not crumbling back into dust.

(the six months between Endgame and Falcon and the Winter Soldier)

Dibs Not (ao3) - aloneintherain G, 1k

Summary: Inspired by anon: 'AU where the airport fight ends in a minor debate over who has to take Peter home b/c he's literally too young to fly unaccompanied without fuckloads of paperwork.'

Hold On Let Go (ao3) - gracerene steve/tony E, 2k

Summary: The barn smells of stale hay, and some kind of warm wood, and Tony knows that most people would find the scent comforting, but it just makes his skin prickle.

I’m Not Your Babysitter (ao3) - Mrs_N_Uzumaki G, 1k

Summary: “I can’t take this anymore, Tony.” The end of the rope that was Happy’s already little patience has been reached. “I am an asset manager, not a babysitter.”

(A “missing scene” in Homecoming.)

It'll All Come out in the Wash-ington (ao3) - AnonEhouse G, 1k

Summary: What if Tony had talked to Rogers right after SHIELD fell (was pushed), when Rogers was in the hospital and dopey enough to let down his guard and talk freely.

What if Tony got more than a hint of things to come?

Let’s Hear It For Captain America! (ao3) - Magnetism_bind steve/bucky E, 5k

Summary: A missing scene from Captain America: The First Avenger

On Your Right (ao3) - thingswithwings steve/sam T, 5k

Summary: Sam puts the Trouble Man soundtrack on repeat, like a talisman at first, when he thinks that Steve might die. The doctors are grim and serious, claiming that they did what they could for him, removing the bullets and stitching his insides back together. A few hours later, the doctors' faces get less grim, more confused, and a few hours after that, they're throwing their arms up in the air in frustration and grinning with triumph at the same time, because apparently the Super Soldier Serum is worth more than just the fastest mile in human history.

Sam spends that time beside Steve, in the position he's gotten used to after only a couple of days: on his right, waiting to see where he'll run next, ready to get his back.

Overseas Teambuilding Strategies (ao3) - OnMyShore T, 3k

Summary: "We’re three international fugitives, on foreign soil, with a whole lot of enemies and a clown car full of stolen tactical gear."

Or: The one where Steve, Bucky and Sam travel through Germany in a Volkswagen and bicker over who gets to join their team.

Self-Sustained Quantum Superposition (ao3) - rednihilist T, 1k

Summary: Character study masquerading as filler between Siberia & Raft-rescue.

Sympathetic Monsters (ao3) - miss_aphelion N/R, 3k

Summary: Tony doesn’t know what it is to be unmade. He still thinks that Bucky Barnes had a choice. Natasha tries to explain it to him, but Tony doesn’t want to care.

But when it comes to the things that really matter, he rarely gets what he wants.

(Civil War Missing Scene: Tony learns the truth about the Winter Soldier)

Three Men in a VW (ao3) - Brokenpitchpipe steve/bucky T, 3k

Summary: Steve steps back into the car and closes the door, lips still tingling.

“You don’t like blondes,” Bucky says.

Sam chokes.

turn your back on mother nature (ao3) - apocalyvse druig/makkari T, 10k

Summary: the drukkari scenes that were missing from the movie.

What Comes After (ao3) - Shadith G, 4k

Summary: Sam Wilson is the baby of the family. Everyone agrees, even his baby sister.

What do you call a guy who shrinks? (ao3) - Laimelde G, 1k

Summary: Missing scene fic from the end of Civil War. Set just after Steve & Bucky rescuing everyone from the Raft..

For Scott, working with ants was an everyday occurrence, but he sort of forgot that the Avengers didn't know about it. It just hadn't come up during the fight at Leipzig airport, y'know?

[aneddoticamagazinestuff]

The Amex Business Platinum vs. the Amex Business Gold: How they compare

New Post has been published on https://www.aneddoticamagazine.com/the-amex-business-platinum-vs-the-amex-business-gold-how-they-compare/

The Amex Business Platinum vs. the Amex Business Gold: How they compare

Last week, news broke that James Dean will star in a new movie-64 years after his death. A production company called Magic City got the rights to Dean’s image from the late actor’s estate and plans to bring him to the silver screen again thanks to the wonder (or terror) of CGI. Now, Dean, or the digitally resurrected version of Dean or whatever, will play the second lead in a Vietnam War movie called Finding Jack, with a living actor standing in as his voice.

Unsurprisingly, the announcement inspired a wave of immediate backlash around Hollywood.

Chris Evans called it “awful” and “shameful,” and Elijah Wood said, simply, “NOPE.” But it turns out the intense reaction was surprising to at least one person: Magic City’s Anton Ernst, the Finding Jack director.

Ernst told the Hollywood Reporter in a new interview that he’s gotten “positive feedback” about the movie and that the Dean estate has been “supportive,” saying it will inspire “a whole new generation of filmgoers to be aware of James Dean.” He didn’t see the overwhelming negativity coming. Per the Reporter:

Ernst spoke with The Hollywood Reporter about the criticisms on social media, saying he was “saddened” and “confused” over the overwhelmingly negative comments. “We don’t really understand it. We never intended for this to be a marketing gimmick,” he said.

He also brought up Carrie Fisher’s appearance in the new Star Wars as an example of a way this posthumous CGI work can be done well, apparently missing the difference between honoring Fisher’s legacy in a role she was already scheduled to play and plopping James Dean in some random war movie half a century after his death.

When discussing whether resurrecting Dean digitally crosses a line with regards to posthumous casting, Ernst explained, “Anyone that is brought back to life – you have to respect them.” He noted Fisher’s posthumous appearances in the Star Wars franchise, saying that if the actress had expressed never wanting to be in a film after her death, or if her legacy or that of the franchise could be “tarnished” because of her casting, “then that should be a line.”

“I think the line should be … you must always honor the deceased’s wishes and try to act in a way that is honorable and full of dignity,” Ernst said.

Again, this is extremely different, since Dean could never have stated he didn’t want to appear in a film after his death because, uh, how would he have imagined that was even a possibility-but whatever. Finding Jack is still headed into production with an expected release on November 11, 2020, whether we like it or not.

[justyouraverage-simp]

team work// sebastian stan

pairing: sebastian stan x reader (romantic), anthony mackie x reader (platonic)

warnings: sebastian stan being bullied, anthony, y/n and seb being a chaotic trio

summary: you, seb and anthony were at a panel for falcon and the winter soldier and a fan asks what it's like working with each other

"I have a question for Sebastian, what was it like working with your girlfriend and best friend" One fan asked Seb.

"Well unfortunately Chris Evans isn't in the show so I can't answer that" Sebastian said jokingly earning laughs from most of the fans and me and Anthony, him and Anthony had a love hate relationship. They would always act as if they couldn't stand being in each others company but they also couldn't spend five minutes from each other.

"That's cold Seabass, that's cold" Anthony said shaking his head at Seb.

"In all seriousness though it's been really nice I get to see Y/N a lot more now and we get to have loads of fun on set. Although sometimes I forget if it's me and Y/N dating or if it's all three of us"

"Your not wrong, he spent more time in mine and Seb's trailer than his own and then he would just randomly turn up at our house and make himself at home" I said laughing.

"In my defence you said I was welcome whenever" Mackie said pointing a finger at both of us.

"Your supposed to call first though not just show up and nearly break the door down" Seb said.

"Yeah but you love me so it's okay"

"Sure whatever helps you sleep at night Mack"

"You can't comment Sebastian" I said then looking in the direction of the fans "There was a break in filming half way through the serious for a round a week or so and me and Seb were just laying on the sofa and he was pouting so I asked of he was okay, he obviously wasn't but he told me he was. Eventually he goes to me can we go see Anthony, normally I would say yeah but he had gone back home to see his family then this man goes to me that's fine we can drive. Now bare in mind we live in New York, that's nearly a 20 hour drive or a near 3 hour flight. After I told him this he moped for the rest of the day. This was after them being apart for one day" I said as the fans laughed but Seb began to go a little bit red and Anthony was laughing at him.

"Did you miss me that much Seabass?" Anthony said mockingly wrapping his arms

"No, you need to stop lying to these poor people. They paid money to be here to listen to truth not these lies you are telling women" Seb said as he pointed his finger at me and pushing Mackie's arms off him.

After a few more questions from fans one asked, "this question is for all of you, um, was there ever any prank wars on set and who was against who?"

"I like that question and the answer is absolutely" I said "It was more of a free for all, I don't think were any teams really"

"Again with the lies Y/N honestly I can see your nose growing from here" Seb said shaking his head at me. "I can tell you now that these two are evil, she acts all innocent but she is fair from it trust me and this man is just as bad. Me and Y/N shared a trailer so I managed to escape being pranked there but that didn't mean I was untouchable did it?" Seb said as he looked at me and who were giggling to each other knowing where this was going.

"Obviously I don't have a metal arm, wish I did but I'm just not that cool so to create the look of the black and gold arm I wore a rubber sleeve that would go over my real one. I went to put it on one day and it was heavier than usual but I just assumed it was just the material they had used because one of the special effects creators had told me they had made a newer one to see if it would look better, but when I put my hand in the fingers and pulling it on my arm it was ridiculously cold and there was a strange liquid, I pulled my arm back out and there was pink putty in my sleeve. I had tried to pull it off my skin but it was the cheaper version that's really sticky and just doesn't come off. So my arm was bright pink until I went back to the trailer and washed it off and don't worry I got them back. Y/N is 100% always the distraction and Mack is the executor because she exploits the fact that I love hearing her talk about her day"

"That my dear Seabass is called teamwork" Me and Anthony said as we high-fived and the fans laughed.

[blogevaawrites]

Keeping to the schedule

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, sad, marriage, divorce, smut

Summary: After seven years of being married, two daughters and a difficult divorce, they try to understand what went wrong and why they let that happen.

Part I Part II Part III

“Maybe we should go to therapy” she said from her spot next to me. I kept caressing her head while I tried to ignore what she suggested.

“Chris” she called. “Chris, what do you think?” she moved up her head to look at me.

“I don’t know, honey.” I murmured. “I don’t think we need it. I think we should just go back to our old life, spending time together and time with our family. I think we could make it work like that” I said.

“What are you talking about? We can’t just pretend everything is fine now, it won’t be good for the girls or for us.” I could see the confusion in her face, so I tried to make a point.

“I’ve been in therapy for a long time, I’m tired of it. We can try to make this work however you want, you make the rules, but honey let’s make it the last option, ok? Please” I took her hand and kissed it, trying to make her understand, but it didn’t work out.

“Chris! We need to go; I don’t care when but sooner o later we will go. That’s my rule.” She said getting her hands out of my touch.

I knew I couldn’t make her change her mind. I tried so hard not to press on it, I didn’t want her to run away “Ok” I could say. “Ok, like I said however you want, it will be.” It wasn’t the moment to fight this war. “But right I need to sleep, I really need to sleep well like I used to, and I need you for that.” I took her head in my hands and kissed her deeply. “I just really need you next to me in the bed.” I kissed her again. “I missed your snores.” I murmured against her lips.

“I don’t snore” She answered.

“Oh yeah, sorry. You just breath loudly, right.” I nodded taking her by the hand to my room.

“Idiot” She replied but following me closely.

“I loved them; they calm me.” I told her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey! I thought you weren’t coming.” Scott said from the couch watching TV when he saw his brother coming.

“I’m sorry, thank you for babysitting them.” He took a deep breath before sitting down next to his brother

“Don’t worry, your daughters are angels. I love spending time with them.” Scott said watching him to sit. He didn’t want to look so desperate to know but he couldn’t wait more, and he asked “So, what happened? How it went? Are you together again?”

“It didn’t go as I wanted, but we are going to try it” Chris said with a very shy smile “We slept together.” He saw his brother’s surprise and immediately he explains himself “Just sleep, don’t overreact!” Chris warned him.

“Well, it wouldn’t have been the first time since your breakup” Scott couldn’t help a little smile, but it vanished when he saw his big brother’s worry.

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure if we’re going to make it.” Chris said rubbing his face with his hands.

“I don’t understand, that’s not what you wanted? Getting her back?”

“Yeah, but she wants us to go to therapy”

“Well, I think that’s great, she wants to try it, a therapist would make a really good change.” Scott tried to understand.

“I don’t think so. Well, actually I don’t think the therapist would think so.” Chris said, looking at the wall.

“I don’t get it. why wouldn’t they think so? Therapy is never wrong.” Scott knew his brother better than anyone, his resistance to go to therapy wasn’t him.

“I’ve never told you this but when I was on it because of the baby, we talk about the kind of relationship she and I had, and how we never went through bad situations until then and the therapist said that maybe our relationship only works in good times” Chris explained slowly.

“That doesn’t make any sense, you guys are made for each other. Change the therapist. Don’t fuck this up. you’ve been in the shit without her and now you think that maybe you shouldn’t be back again, are you out of your mind?” Specially Scott knew how hard it was for him to overcome his divorce.

“I just… Scott, I don’t think I would be able to lose her again. if we don’t make this work and she doesn’t want to keep trying…Scott, that would kill me, you know that. I’m fucking scared” Chris opened up, voicing his biggest fear.

“Look, you’re scared of losing her and she is scared of it too, because she wouldn’t have asked for professional help then. You guys are made for each other, don’t forget that.” Scott couldn’t picture his brother with another woman, and he knew his brother couldn’t do it either.

“She gave up on me once, Scott. That’s the thing, I don’t know if I trust her again…” Chris tried to explain but Scott didn’t let him.

“To be honest I think you are being too sensitive and overdramatic. You guys went through a lot, it was normal to be mad and sad.” Scott kept talking while he saw his brother shaking his head.

“You don’t get it Scott. I know it was normal to be mad and sad, I thought it was normal to distanced but she filed for divorce without even telling me! We went through a rough patch and the first thing she does it’s leaving me, she didn’t want to go to therapy then or tried to talk to me before of it, she just ran away from our marriage.”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry” Scott knew Chris was right, he couldn’t really understand what he went through.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the way home, I watched my daughters on the back seats, sleeping, completely unaware of the possibility of having their family back together. I knew they missed the normalcy, the union, but they were kids at the end of the day, they were going to adapt to whatever happens.

“Dada? I want Mama!” Emma said with her little eyes sightly opened. “Honey, you have to stay with me this week. What do you need?” I asked with my eyes on the road again.

“I want Mama! I miss Mama!” she cried. I knew she wasn’t asking actually for her mom; she was just having a little tantrum.

“Honey, come on! Wake up! You’re with daddy, we’re heading home, now.” I tried again

“I want mom! I want to go to real home! I don’t want you!” I was used to her tantrums but today wasn’t a good day for it. It broke my heart having to tell her to stop, I knew it was normal for a child to act like that but I couldn’t handle it now.

“Please, baby. Don’t act like that…” I couldn’t finish because of her scream full the car making me shut up.

“I want my mom! NOW!” she yelled, I could see Anna’s eyes opening, disturbed by her sister.

“Honey, please. Calm down…” another scream interrupted me. Anna covered her ears and tried to calm her too, but Emma yelled one more time but louder. She wouldn’t stop.

“Emma, stop fucking now!” I yelled, surprising myself and them. I could see Emma’s eyes completely opened and full of tears ready to fall. Anna’s face was in shock. They weren’t used to me screaming or to do have any rude reaction.

“I’m sorry, Annie, Emms I’m really sorry. Please, don’t cry!” I begged them to stop, their cries couldn’t hurt me more.

Emma’s lips were shaking, trying to hold her tears.

“Okay, listen. I’m going to call mom so you can talk to her, okay?” I negotiated.

“I want to go home, please!” she murmured, I knew she was sacred and couldn’t speak louder.

“Baby, you know you both have to stay with me this week, haven’t you missed me?” I tried to resonate with them, Anna nodded a little bit but didn’t say anything and Emma didn’t move, she just keep begging.

“Please, I want to go home, dad” her words broke my heart.

“Fine, baby. I’m going to take you home” I change the direction, without any other word and feeling the tension in the car.

Before stopping the car, she opened the front door surprised by our presence. The car was barely turned off when Anna opened the door and helped her sister to get out, they ran to her mother’s arms.

I watched them as she kissed them and held them tightly. A few minutes later they ran into the house, and she walked to the car, wanting me to get out.

“What happened?” she asked worried. I didn’t know if they told her what happened or if she could feel my guilt.

“I don’t know what happened, I’m sorry, I swear of God I don’t yell them…” she moved her hand making me stop talking.

“I know, I know…” she opened my door, and waited for me to get out of the car.

“I’m just stressed, and Emma started to cry, louder, and louder. She couldn’t stop asking for you and then she wanted to go home, and she meant this house, with you, not with me and my house, she wanted to go to real home.”

“I’m sorry for that. I know she has been a little intense lately, I don’t know why…” she caressed my arms, trying to make me feel better.

“I lost my shit, fuck! I feel so guilty now” I cried in her shoulder.

“Come on! Get inside! I’m going to make tea.”

I waited for her to kiss the girl’s goodnight and get down to the kitchen while I served us the tea. It wasn’t until she entered the room when I realized she was wearing a black dress, and was barefoot, as she just took off the heels.

“Have you just arrived?” I asked, it was concerning not because she was out but the two cups of wine empty in the living room and the coat over the couch.

“Well, yeah, kind of…” she started to speak but the nervousness was being more obvious.

“Alone or with somebody else?” I kept asking, unable to stop myself from the interrogation.

“What?” She wasn’t just nervous; she looked a bit confused too. I pointed at the empty cups on the table.

“Oh! Yeah, I went to dinner with Ben, and I invited him to have a drink.” she explained, no nervous anymore, she just seemed curious about my next questions.

“Why?” I asked, and I could see she didn’t want to react too fast.

“What?” I knew she was giving me another chance to measure my words. I knew she could see where I was going to, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“Why did you go to dinner with him? Why is the fucking need of a drink later? Why were you wearing that fucking dress? Why don’t you care about me? WHY?” I could see how asshole I was being, but I couldn’t keep my shit together. I just exploded.

She didn’t respond quickly, she just looked at me, without any movement, without any expression on her face.

“Don’t fucking yelled at me! What’s wrong with you?” her voice wasn’t loud, but she couldn’t be more serious. She moved around the house, picking the cups up from the table and checking if the girls could have woken up with my voice.

“What’s wrong with me? Are you serious? What the fuck is wrong with you? It wasn’t me who was having a dinner with another guy just a minute later of having spend the night with her fucking ex-husband.” I knew I went too far when she dropped the cups in the sink. She turned around to look at me completely in shock, letting me know she knew what I was insinuating.

“What are you…” she looked broken. It was a face I’ve seen before, because it wasn’t the first time I fucked up.

“I’m sorry, I’m didn’t mean…” I tried to take it back, but I knew it was too late. She turned around again, cleaning up. I tried to get closer to her but, as she could see me, she moved away before I could do it.

“Yes, you did Chris, that’s the problem with us. We have said a lot.” She said, her voice was back to normal. I knew she was right; we did say a lot of things before our divorce. It wasn’t the first time I’ve insinuated that she was acting like a slut, and it wouldn’t be the first time for her to call me names either.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I wasn’t joking I’m stressed, and I got jealous. It’s not an excuse but please forgive me, please” I begged, getting closer to her. This time, she didn’t flinch or move away, and I could hold her again.

She let go a long breath, and laid on my chest, letting me know she knew I lost it.

After a few minutes she turned around in my arms and looked at me in the eyes.

“I couldn’t say no to Ben, he has been asking me out for a long time and I ran out of excuses. But I made it very clear I wasn’t looking for anything. It was nothing, I promised.”

I nodded at her, caressing the face. She loved me, I knew that but something inside of me was telling me she could just give up and move on.

I didn’t want to admit it, but she needed it to know why I couldn’t just ignore it.

“I’m scared of losing you again. I’m scared of you giving up on us again.”

“Chris, I told you. I want to try it…” I haven’t finished, and she let me continue.

“I know, honey, but… Listen, I know you can live without me…” I said trying to avoid her eyes on me. She shook her head, but I knew I was right. She could live without me, she already did it. “And that’s fine, but I can’t do it…” I kept on.

“Chris…” she tried to deny it, but I didn’t let her. Holding her face in place.

“I’m just scared of you choosing to give up on us if this” I touched her lips, desiring to kiss them “…gets too hard” I didn’t have to wait to feel her mouth on me.

@moonlacebeam @denisemarieangelina @lovebittenbyevans @popteest @aubageddon91 @hey-diddly-ho-neighborino @impala1967666 @firoozehmoon @moonie-brbs @regulusharper1553 @patzammit @breezykpop @rootcrop @zdawg45 @dummy0806 @dispiritedmoonlight

[j-j-ehlby-writes]

Dodger Knows Best

Pairing: Chris Evans x Wife!Reader

Word Count: ~1k

Summary: Dodger’s been acting strange since quarantine started. Does he know something that we don’t?

Warning: Fluff, of course

A/N: Inspired by Chris’s reading of “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” at the beginning of COVID. Only took me a year to write 🙄

My Masterlist

I couldn’t stop giggling as I hear my husband reading aloud in the other room. I try my best not to make too much noise though, I don’t want to ruin the video. When he was asked to read a children’s book during this trying time we’re currently in, he couldn’t have said yes fast enough. Being the big kid he is, I know how excited he was to do it. 

Every day he finds new ways to give back to those who have lost their jobs and those who are missing school. He knows how important education is, especially right now. So he made it his goal to do at least one thing to help people per day during this quarantine.

Oh, what a wonderful world we live in right now...

This time spent at home has been much needed, but equally frustrating. I haven’t felt well for a few months now, prior to this pandemic. Getting to stay home, sleep in, not put on a bra or real clothes, cuddling my husband and our boy Dodger has been comforting. It’s frustrating that I’ve been stuck in the house, not able to leave for almost two weeks. The small amount of freedom that I get from walking Dodger is going to be taken away sooner rather than later in order to try and stop this pandemic.

Chris has enjoyed being home as much as I’ve loved having him home. However, I know he wants to get back to work. There are some projects he’s been most anxious to work on that are now on hold.

He’s been super protective of me since he’s been home. He’s insisted on doing anything that has to do with possibly interacting with another human being- getting groceries, take-out, other necessities. Dodger also hasn’t left my side since I’ve been home. Chris was insulted at first, claiming I stole his buddy. I just figured he was happy I was home.

“And chances are if he gets some apple juice, he’ll want a donut to go with it.”

I giggle again, unable to contain it. I hear the amusement in his tone as he concludes his video. I finish making lunch and join him in the living room, Dodger following at my feet. “How was it?”

“A little weird reading to my phone, but,” he smiles up at me, “I enjoyed it.”

“Are you going to read to our kids someday?” I set down his plate before sitting next to him.

“Abso-freaking-lutely! I can’t wait.” An even bigger smile took over his entire face as the thought crosses his mind. We’ve talked about having kids since before we got married. He loves being around his niece and nephews and it shows just how much he yearns for a family of his own. When we officially became a family of two plus Dodger, we immediately started trying. We’ve had some close calls, but all false alarms.

Until yesterday morning.

“How were those top secret errands you just had to do alone this morning?” He asks after taking a bite of his sandwich.

“That reminds me!” I get back up and head to the bedroom, where I hid a present in my side of the closet. I pull the plastic bag out from behind some of my maxi dresses, taking the contents out before bending down to Dodger. 

I struggle to put him in the small t-shirt I bought him. He’s a wiggle worm and wouldn’t stop trying to lick my face. Once it’s secure, I take my phone out, open the camera app and snap a few pictures before switching to video mode. 

After hitting the red record button, I stand up again. “Alright Dodger, let’s go get Daddy!” As I start walking, he’s just barely ahead of me. We head back into the living room.

He immediately cracks up when he sees Dodger with his new shirt. He asks how I even managed to get it on him, giving him some love and multiple kisses on his muzzle. I command for Dodger to sit, which he obeys. Chris kneels down to try and read what the shirt says. Dodger makes it hard since all he wants to do is lick Chris’s face. It takes a few tries before Dodger finally sits still enough for him to read it.

I wait with bated breath, biting my lips trying to hide the biggest smile. We’ve waited so long for this moment. I’ve imagined how I was going to tell him about a hundred times when it was finally confirmed and we were passed the safe mark.

He looks up at me with his mouth agape. “Are you serious?”

I peek from behind my phone and nod. “That’s what the errand was.”

“Wait, really?”

“I wanted to confirm it before telling you.” I hoped he wouldn’t be mad that I didn’t bring him to the first doctor’s appointment. With how many close calls we’ve had, I wanted to be doubly sure that it was happening before even getting remotely excited about the prospect.

“So, you’re sure?” He stands up and comes closer to me. “You’re pregnant?” The biggest smile I’ve ever seen on my husbands face takes over. I nod. “We’re having a baby?” I see the tears building in his eyes. He scoops me up in his arms. He spins around, exclaiming “We’re having a baby!”

“Now it all makes sense why Dodge hasn’t left my side.” Dogs have that kind of intuition. He must have sensed the change in me before even I knew what was happening.

“Of course he knew.” He rolls his eyes before turning his gaze down to the all-knowing pup. He sits there in his “Baby’s First Bodyguard” t-shirt, smiling up at us as if confirming that yes, he is the all-knowing. 

I guess Chris and I learned an important lesson: always listen to Dodger for he knows best.

~*~

Taglist: @the-marvel-wars​ @elusive-beauty​ @drakesfiance​ @im-a-slut-for-an-accent​ @fantasy-is-my-reality​ @princess-evans-addict​

[starryevermore]

oh captain, my captain ✧ chris evans

masterlist | send in a request (consult request faqs first)

i'll say this til the day i die: everyone go thank @rebelemilu for this sin

pairing: chris evans x fem!reader

summary: chris knows how much you enjoy captain america, so he makes sure you live out all of your fantasies.

word count: 2,360

warnings?: 18+ MINORS DNI, all porn no plot, idk if chris ever got to keep his cap suit but for the sake of this fic he got to keep the infinity war suit, roleplaying, unprotected sex, breeding kink, you call chris “captain”, oral (m receiving), degradation, orgasm denial, anal, choking, chris reads fanfiction, not proofread

Most days, you felt like you needed to pinch yourself. None of this life ever felt real, like it was something that could actually happen to you. If someone had told you a year ago that you would be dating the Chris Evans, you would’ve laughed in their face, called them delusional, told them that you wouldn’t fall for their stupid tricks. And, yet, that was the life you now lead. 

You met him while you were on vacation. You were in the same city he was filming in, and the two of you happened to be at the same club one night. You’d heard a few whispers at the bar that someone famous, like really fucking famous was there, but you paid them no mind. You weren’t about to believe them. You were mostly convinced it was someone who just looked like someone famous. After all, what were really the chances that a celebrity was at such a small club, even in a city as big as this? You probably would have better odds winning the lottery than being in the same place as a celebrity. 

But when you heard an unmistakable Boston accent asking “so, what’s the lady having tonight?”, your knees nearly buckled underneath you. It couldn’t be him, could it? And, really, there was no chance he’d be talking to you, right? And, yet, he was. 

That one night at the club, spent drinking and dancing and ending with what you thought would be a mere one night stand, evolved into something better than you could even dream of. It was a whirlwind sort of romance, the two of you falling harder and faster for each other every day. It wasn’t long until you were meeting his friends and family, before he was asking you to move into his home. And, though it was fast, none of it felt wrong. It felt like the two of you were made for each other, that this was the type of relationship that was going to last.

Unfortunately, you hadn’t seen Chris in months. He’d been busy on a press tour for his new film coming out, forcing him to travel the world promoting it. And, while you understood that it was his job, you couldn’t help but miss him. You loved being held in his arms as you cuddled, his beard ticking you as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. You missed going out to dinners together, him treating you like an absolute princess. You longed for the days where you’d make breakfast together, Chris using the whisk or a spoon as a microphone while he sang you a love song. You missed him more than anything in the world, but he was coming home soon. Soon, you’d be tucked into his arms and everything would be alright again.

What you hadn’t expected was to come home from grocery shopping to find his shoes at the door. Your heart hammered in your chest as you realized he was back, he was home, he was yours once more. You didn’t have to share him with the world any longer. (At least, not until his next job, anyways.) 

Racing to the bedroom, you could hardly contain yourself as you envisioned throwing yourself into his arms, kissing him breathless, and holding him hostage in your arms until you absolutely had to get out of bed. But all of that faded away when you saw the man.

“Chris?” you asked, your brows furrowing together when you finally saw him.

Your thighs clenched together as you took in the sight of him. Though it had only been a few months, the Chris standing in front of you was completely different than the one that had left for work. His hair had grown out, much longer than the close-cropped look he’d been sporting earlier in the year. His beard, too, was longer, fuller, than you remembered it to be. But, perhaps most interesting of all, was that he wasn’t wearing his usual too-small t-shirt and cap. No, he wore...the Captain America suit. More importantly, the Captain America suit from Avengers: Infinity War, arguably the best suit he’d worn in the franchise if you could give your honest opinion.

“That’s not my name, angel,” he sneered. “I knew you were a dumb bitch when you couldn��t follow basic orders, but I would’ve thought you at least knew what to call your superiors.”

“I-I’m sorry, Steve,” you tried. What...What was he expecting you to say? Was this right? Or was there something you were missing?

“Angel, you’re really starting to press my buttons. I’m your Captain, and you will treat me with the goddamn respect I deserve,” he snapped. 

You blinked, trying to figure out what you needed to do. Shit, this was why you weren’t an actor. You could hardly understand the role you were meant to play, even if it was one you’d been dreaming out for ages. Wait—you’d been dreaming about this for ages. How...How had Chris known this?

“Well? Aren’t you going to make it up to me?”

“I-yes. What would you like me to do to make it up to you?” you asked. He stared, and you realized your mistake. “...Captain.”

He pointed to the spot in front of his feet. “Get on your knees.”

You stumbled forward, before sinking down to your knees where he told you to be. You looked up at him, waiting for further instruction.

“Well? Do I have to tell you everything?” he snapped. “Get my cock out, you fucking bitch.”

It was more complicated than it looked to undo the clasp of his belt.

“Dumb little baby can’t even unbuckle a fucking belt,” he laughed, smacking your hand away and undoing it himself. “Think you can manage pulling down a little zipper or is that too complicated for your stupid fucking brain?”

“I-I can do it, Captain,” you said, your trembling fingers pulling the zipper down before you reach in and pulled out his already hardened cock.

“Guess you can do something right.” His hand grasped at your hair, forming a makeshift ponytail, yanking at your hair, pulling you closer to his member. “Give it a kiss now, will ya?”

Immediately, you stuck your tongue out, lapping up the beads of pre-cum leaking for the tip before taking the tip into your mouth, giving it a gentle suck. Above you, Chris moaned, spurring you on. You took his further into your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks and relaxing your throat just how he liked it. You took him as far as you could manage, the tip hitting the back of your throat. And yet, it wasn’t enough. He snapped his hips, forcing you to swallow every inch of him.

You bobbed your head up and down his length, using your hand to stroke what wasn’t in your mouth. He still kept a tight grip on your hair, using it to guide you when you weren’t going the speed he wanted to. Then, as you jaw began to ache, you heard him groan, “Shit, angel, you’re ‘bout to make your Captain come.”

His load filled your mouth seconds later, and you nearly choked. But you did your best to swallow it, knowing that Chris also praised you when you didn’t spill a single drop. And, if the Captain was already ten times as intense as Chris was, then you knew that you needed to prove yourself to him.

“Open up,” he ordered. “Show your Captain how good of a girl you can be.”

You opened your mouth without a second thought, sticking your tongue out, letting him examine you. He hummed his approval.

“Now thank your Captain.”

“Thank you, Chris,” you sighed, still reeling from what you’d just experienced.

The silence in the room was deafening as you both processed your mistake. Then—

“The fuck did you just call me?”

“I’m so sorry, Captain! I didn’t mean it!”

But he was already grabbing you, pulling you up to your feet. He tore at your clothes, ignoring your protest that that had been your favorite shirt, that you'd really liked that skirt. Your only saving grace had been the fact that you were wearing a red lacy bra paired with Captain America panties that you’d bought as a joke once. 

“Heh, you really are your Captain’s little whore, aren’t ya?”

“Yes, Captain, your whore, only your whore!”

“Too bad I’m still gonna have to punish ya.”

Before you could even think, he was throwing face-first onto the bed, pushing your face down into the mattress while he left your ass into the air. 

“Say thank you after each one,” he ordered. “And don’t call me the wrong fucking name again.”

“Yes, Captain.”

His hand came down on you, smacking your left cheek so hard that you were sure that you would have a permanent imprint on your ass.

“Thank you, Captain,” you squeaked. 

He smacked your other cheek, alternating as he spanked you, you thanking him after each and every one. After twenty, he finally stopped, taking time to admire the small puddle that was forming between your legs.

“Shit, you really liked that didn’t you?” he laughed. “Tell me, how wet does it make you when your Captain punishes you?”

“So wet, Captain,” you said. “Love it when you spank me. Love it when you punish me, Captain.”

“Yeah? Then you’re gonna love what I’m about to do to you.”

“Wha—”

Your question died as you felt the tip of his cock pressing against your slick folds. You gasped, fisting the sheets, and he rocked into you, not even giving you time to adjust to his size. God, why did he have to be so big? As he brushed up against your cervix, you felt a harsh tug on your hair. He pulled you up against his chest, one hand snaking around your front until you felt his clasped firmly around your throat.

“All you’re fucking good for is this,” he hissed in your ear, his hand tightening around your throat. “Can’t take fucking orders. Can’t fight. Can’t fend for yourself. All you’re fucking good for is being my little cocksleeve. Ain’t that right?”

“Yes, Captain,” you mewled.

“Should just keep you tied to the fucking bed, you know. Keep you locked in here until you’re all big and round with my kid.” You could practically see his smirk when your pussy clenched harder around him. “Yeah, you’d like that, huh? Wanna be your Captain’s little breeding bitch, don’t you?”

“Be anything you want, Captain,” you cried. “Just wanna come, please, Captain, please.”

“Oh, no, angel,” he laughed cruelly. “Only good girls get to come, and you ain’t a good girl, are you? Good girls follow order. Good girls are compliant. Good girls don’t call their Captain another man’s name.”

“I’m sorry, Captain!”

“Hmm...too late,” he sneered. His hips stuttered as you felt his cock twitch in you. He let out a loud moan as he painted your walls with his cum, still thrusting, pushing his cum deeper into you. Then, without any notice, he pulled out and released you, letting you fall face-first into the mattress. “Don’t you dare fucking move, slut.”

He disappeared behind you for a moment, and you heard him rustling in the bedside table. But you didn’t dare look up out of fear that he might deny you another orgasm. Instead, you kept your face planted firmly in the mattress, waiting for his next instruction. It never came. All you heard was the flip of a cap opening, followed by his finger pushing lube into your puckered hole. You groaned at the contact, rocking back into his hands.

He laughed as he watched you. “You like that, you little slut? Want your Captain to fuck you in the ass?”

“Please Captain!”

“Please what? I know you’re a big, dumb baby, but you gotta use your big girl words.”

“Please fuck me in the ass, Captain!”

“Well, you ain’t gotta tell me twice.”

He pushed the tip of his cock inside your tightest hole, slower and more gentle than he had done with your cunt. He pushed until he was fully sheathed inside of you, his fingers digging into your hips. By the time he started to fuck you, you were already breathless, pushing your little ass against him, begging him to fuck you harder, faster, deeper. And, though he was the Captain and he was the one giving orders, he was more than happy to indulge you. 

As his balls slapped against you, brushing against your little bundle of nerves, he snaked one of his hands being your legs, rolling your little button between his fingers. You gasped, your eyes rolling into the back of your skull.

“Please, please, please,” you chanted as he moved faster and faster.

“Whatcha want, little slut? Tell your Captain what you want, and he’ll give it to you.”

“Please, wanna come. Please, will be good. Just wanna come,” you begged.

“Since you asked so nicely...” he trailed off, pressing down on your clit. “Come.”

You moaned as you came undone, and he followed shortly thereafter, releasing his spend inside of you. He slowly pulled out, careful not to hurt you, before collapsing beside you. You rolled over, pressing your face into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

“So,” you began a few minutes later, still trying to catch your breath, “what was that all about?”

“You accidentally sent me a link to...What did it say? Captain America...smut?” he confessed. 

You felt your face heat up as your hid in your hands. “Shit, I’m so sorry! You weren’t supposed to see that!”

“I’m glad I did, though. I didn’t know what it was at first, but I read it and figured it was something my angel liked and that I should help you live out your fantasies.”

“Oh. Well, thank you,” you said, pressing a kiss against his lips. “I really, really enjoyed that.”

“I’m glad. And angel?”

“Yeah?”

“Send me more of those so that I can keep helping you live out your fantasies. You understand?”

“...yes, Captain.”

[anaismus]

Buck and Eddie's Relationship: Is It Queerbaiting?

This is going to be a relatively long article with my thoughts on whether queerbaiting really exists on 911 and whether such a presentation of a bisexual couple harms the community.

I don't want to argue about whether this show has queerbaiting. Undoubtedly, there are some factors that correspond to this marketing technique. 

two guys raise the son of one of them

call each other best friends

don't have restrictions on personal space for each other

stare at each other like newlyweds 

It is, and no one - not one - no none can deny it. There's a chemistry between Buck and Eddie that we feel on an almost physical level. And for this, actors get aggression for queerbaiting. Although, in fact, it should be aimed at screenwriters.

But I don't wanna talk about that. I want to talk about why I don't think Buck and Eddie's relationship is queerbaiting.

There's a concept of unvoiced feelings in fanfiction, and I think it is. Let us consider in more detail the main character-forming moments from the life of guys.

This is Evan Buckley.

Evan Buckley is 26 years old. Evan Buckley loves sex. Evan Buckley wants to try to build a relationship, but starts it off the wrong way - first sex, then a phone number and a date. Evan Buckley isn't a bad guy, he simply didn’t have a parent who would teach him to communicate with women, to appreciate them. He wasn’t taught to build relationships. His examples of relationships in childhood and adolescence (when the frontal lobes are forming) are parents who are too grieving to see that their living son needs them more than the dead one. And the sister who left for her husband, and from sunny Maddie Buckley, turned into a broken Maddie Kendall. Evan Buckley doesn't know how to be in a relationship.

Then he has Abby - it seems that this is his first serious relationship. And let's be honest, he's growing as a person. He respects Abby, takes care of her and her mother, supports them, makes them laugh and is just always there. And then Abby leaves. She doesn’t even leave him, but just leaves, and for several months Buck cherishes a ghostly chance for the return of the old relationship and the happiness that they had. And then Evan Buckley gives up. But it continues to grow.

He has other girls, but none of them accepts him for who he is: with his work, character, attitude towards family, friends and himself. Of course, you cannot be completely satisfied in your partner, but immediately trying to change him for yourself - this shouldn't exist.

This is Eddie Diaz.

Eddie Diaz has a son with a form of disability. Eddie Diaz went through the war and outlived many of his acquaintances. Eddie Diaz and his disabled son were abandoned by his wife, who cut off all ties for several years. Eddie Diaz is a wonderful father who takes his son on a West Coast adventure in hopes of changing their lives.

Eddie misses Shannon. Christopher misses Shannon. And I'm sure that as a child, Chris often asked at first where his mother was and why she wasn't coming back. And every time Eddie Diaz's heart broke from the words "she doesn't love me?" or "mommy just doesn't want to see me anymore?" And Christopher asked, because at his age, children measure everything by their own measure.

And then Shannon comes back. And it's damn hard for Eddie to pretend that there weren't those years of silence from his wife. That she didn't go anywhere. His broken a few years ago heart cannot believe that if he let Shannon back into their life, she'll remain and will always be with them.

“A broken pot can still hold water” - the amazing devil “pray”

And Eddie gradually begins to trust her with himself and his son. And then they both lose Shannon for the second time. Forever and ever. And again they are left alone, although she promised to always be with them. Of course, it's not her fault that she died. But when you lose a person, at some point, grief changes to anger. "You promised not to leave me!" and so on.

Eddie Diaz has years of service in Afghanistan behind him. In civilian life, Eddie Diaz gets shot at (such horrible sounds, he heard them in the service). Eddie Diaz has taken hostage (the feeling of fear and panic is almost like when they were under siege). Eddie Diaz finds himself buried alive under 12 feet of earth while rescuing a boy his son's age because he hopes that if he isn't there, someone will save Christopher (sand gets in his mouth and eyes, just like in the Afghan desert). For three whole minutes of his life, Eddie Diaz looks at his best friend, dying from the inside, and thinks that his most beloved person in the world died during the tsunami, and he was not to save. He saved others (it turns out that he put the life of his son below the life of a stranger?). Of course, he didn't, of course Christopher survived and escaped with nightmares, but for the whole three minutes of his life Eddie thought differently and tried not to die from a broken heart.

Eddie Diaz enters Evan Buckley's life at a time when he feels like his life is falling apart. That he's not good enough for Abby to stay and let Buck make her happy. He doesn't feel like he's good enough for Abby to believe that together with Buck, they can get through everything in her life. And of course Evan Buckley is wonderful and deserves the whole world, but now he doesn't believe in it, because again he wasn't important enough to stay with him.

Evan Buckley enters Eddie Diaz's life at a moment of stress from moving and the beginning of a new life for him and his young son. Eddie begins to associate Evan Buckley with a new beginning, a new life. He bursts into the lives of both of Diaz with a burst of laughter and his brightest smile. Evan finds a common language with little Chris, becomes for him the same parental figure as Eddie is. Buck cares for and raises Christopher along with Eddie. Not so much because he has feelings for Eddie and not because he pities the disabled child. But because Evan Buckley is a good man, perhaps the best in the life of the Diaz family.

They met each other in difficult moments of their lives, experienced the most terrible trials together, and they continue to hold on to each other, because they feel boundless understanding and trust.

And it certainly started with friendship. Strong and forgiving, about which books are written, and which one can only dream of. And then it develops into something more, and it seems to me that they themselves are not understand, at some point they stop looking at each other as at a friend. That is why none of them makes an obvious first step towards.

Once again, there are no clear first steps. Perhaps for each of them, those words and moments that they create together mean the first step, but it’s too scary to openly talk about feelings.

When you like your best friend, you begin to see his every word and action romantically. Even if it wasn't meant to be. And you're scared because you're afraid to misunderstand and let yourself cross the line of friendship. But what if your friend was just acting normal, but your loving mind decided to treat the situation as if the feelings were mutual? Self-deception and false hope. What if you decide that your feelings are mutual and take the first step towards meeting, and this turns out to be a fall in love brain perception error? Friendship will be destroyed. Not immediately, of course. But tension and awkwardness will snowball until it crushes both of them. It hurts when your dearest person doesn't love you back. It hurts when you can't return the feelings of your dearest person. This is a double-edged sword, and this situation hurts everyone. Of course, your feelings may be mutual and everything will be fine, but what if not? What if the confession destroys the friendship and takes the person closest to you? Both parties will feel guilty, but no one will really be guilty.

“No one will never fight for my son as hard as you. that is what I want for him“ - s4ep13.

“There’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you“ - s3ep3.

And this means that he infinitely trusts Evan in every sense. Because Eddie trusts him with the most precious thing in his life: his son. And Evan may like to think that Eddie's attitude towards him has changed towards romance, but he is afraid that this is just an illusion. Eddie only meant what he said: Buck is his best friend, and his best friend can be trusted with everything.

Buck spends hours looking for the missing Christopher in hysterics. Dive to pain in temples and burning in lungs. He does not notice the water and how heavy the debris that he removes to find little Christopher. He screams the name of the child until his voice is hoarse, in a panic rushes to every person he meets on the ruined coast in the hope of hearing that Christopher was seen alive and well, and now Buck will be able to hug him and exhale - Christopher is alive. And every time he sees similar hair, height, clothes, he rushes to the person, praying that it was Christopher. And every time his heart breaks when it's not him. Evan rushes around the camps, forces himself to look into the black bags, but Christopher is still missing. 

Evan meets Eddie in a moment of desperation. He needs to be told that he lost Chris. That it was his fault for not keeping an eye on Eddie's baby. That Eddie lost his son to Evan. And of course Christopher is fine and after just a couple of minutes of talking he is already in the arms of his father. But Evan thought all day that Chris died because of him. The child he raised, whom he probably perceived as his son.

Of course everything is getting better. And they go through all the difficulties together, but they only unite them. And this makes the possibility of losing each other because of three words even more scary.

Eddie doesn't know how Buck looks at him when Diaz isn't looking. 

He doesn't know how Buck panics when Eddie is in danger. He doesn't know how Buck dug the ground with his hands, although he knew for sure that he could not reach the man through 12 feet of earth. He doesn't know how Evan's heart broke when he found Eddie in a ruined room in tears and panic. Eddie doesn't know how willing Evan is to die for Eddie. He doesn't know how much Evan Buckley loves him.

And Evan doesn't know how Eddie looks at him when Buck isn't looking. He doesn't know how grateful he is for Christopher's smile. Evan doesn't know how happy Eddie is to see the smile on Evan's face. Evan doesn't know how strong Eddie's belief is that he can forgive Buck for literally anything.

And Evan is trying to add a touch of romance to his words and actions. Hoping that if Eddie like him too, then Diaz will realize that Evan is in love with him and say that it's mutual. And then everything will be fine.

But Eddie, who likes Evan so much, is scared that it's just his loving mind deciding to take every smile, look, and touch in a romantic context. So Eddie just adds a touch of romance to his words and actions. Hoping that if Evan likes him too, then Buckley will realize that Eddie is in love with him and say that it is mutual. And then everything will be fine.

And this vicious circle is inextricable. They both found each other at the moment when they were alone. Therefore, I think it is incredibly scary for both of them to feel rejected, abandoned and unnecessary again. And I think that's why their relationship revolves around innuendo and doesn't move forward. It's very scary. And we've all experienced it at some point.

In addition to a completely justified fear, we should not forget this: even if it’s the 21st century, we don’t know how our environment will react to the fact that your loved one and you are of the same sex. It's one thing when your friends make gay jokes or tease you about your friend. But another thing is the fear of how they will react to the fact of the relationship, and not just a joke about them. It's the same with parents. When you make coming-out, there is a big risk of losing a good relationship with your parents. They may love you but not accept the fact that LGBT is not a disease. Just because they've been told otherwise all their lives.

I'm bisexual and asexual myself. And I'm not afraid to talk about it to friends or, if the subject comes up, to strangers in a bar. I'm not afraid of their reaction, I can stand up for myself. In addition, I quickly and painlessly cross out people I don’t like from my life. I just can't attached with people. But! I still haven't told my parents that I had relationships with girls because I know that I will lose my parents' good attitude. Of course, I know that over time they will accept me for who I am, even if they do not understand. But the months or even years it will take for them to accept - it scares me. But there are other parents who can disown their children for this.

I think Buck (even though he says he doesn't need parents) is afraid to feel like a disappointment to his mom and dad again. And Eddie is probably afraid of being judged and that they will try to "fix" him, because his family looks quite traditional (and he also has a bad relationship with his parents).

Often in movies, we are shown how characters fall in love, and this is almost always mutual. If this is not the case, then the rejected person quickly switches to another person, and now, after a couple of weeks, he deeply in love with a new person. As if there were no those months or years of torment by unexpressed feelings.

In 911, we see relationships as they are in real life: awkward, reckless, intimidating. They give an ocean of emotions, and these emotions are not always positive. In 911, we see how people face the fear of rejection every day and choose to try to live the way other people live.

It's not queerbaiting, it's a different way of looking at the situation. I love it when the characters talk openly about their feelings to each other, when the writers introduce open LGBT characters. And it's right. But we should not forget about those of us who are afraid to speak about themselves and their feelings because their environment isn't understanding enough. We must not forget the people who choose a long life of safety over a short life that can be interrupted by an aggressive man on the street at night or a religious father with anger issues. Such people need to see that their love for another person is still real feelings, their sense of calm from the person next to them and the joint upbringing of a child is still a family, and sometimes you don’t need to talk about love in order to just love.

And I'm sure that the relationship between Buck and Eddie will develop further and at some point they will become a couple, they will live together and openly talk to each other about love. In the meantime, we are shown the development of the characters in the way that the relationship of real men would develop, whose hearts have been broken a million times, and who have experienced more than a person can bear and not go crazy.

We'll get everything we want, but it takes time. So I think the characters should get all our love. And also actors should receive our love, because their acting skills are at the highest level.

And the pairing fans need to stop cyberbullying Oliver Stark because he's acting out the script, and the only ones to blame for the relationship taking so long are the show's management team.

This shouldn't exist. He is a wonderful actor and a wonderful person. No one should feel or hear that.

[aneddoticamagazinestuff]

International money transfers hit $613 billion this year

New Post has been published on https://www.aneddoticamagazine.com/international-money-transfers-hit-613-billion-this-year/

International money transfers hit $613 billion this year

Last week, news broke that James Dean will star in a new movie-64 years after his death. A production company called Magic City got the rights to Dean’s image from the late actor’s estate and plans to bring him to the silver screen again thanks to the wonder (or terror) of CGI. Now, Dean, or the digitally resurrected version of Dean or whatever, will play the second lead in a Vietnam War movie called Finding Jack, with a living actor standing in as his voice.

Unsurprisingly, the announcement inspired a wave of immediate backlash around Hollywood.

Chris Evans called it “awful” and “shameful,” and Elijah Wood said, simply, “NOPE.” But it turns out the intense reaction was surprising to at least one person: Magic City’s Anton Ernst, the Finding Jack director.

Ernst told the Hollywood Reporter in a new interview that he’s gotten “positive feedback” about the movie and that the Dean estate has been “supportive,” saying it will inspire “a whole new generation of filmgoers to be aware of James Dean.” He didn’t see the overwhelming negativity coming. Per the Reporter:

Ernst spoke with The Hollywood Reporter about the criticisms on social media, saying he was “saddened” and “confused” over the overwhelmingly negative comments. “We don’t really understand it. We never intended for this to be a marketing gimmick,” he said.

He also brought up Carrie Fisher’s appearance in the new Star Wars as an example of a way this posthumous CGI work can be done well, apparently missing the difference between honoring Fisher’s legacy in a role she was already scheduled to play and plopping James Dean in some random war movie half a century after his death.

When discussing whether resurrecting Dean digitally crosses a line with regards to posthumous casting, Ernst explained, “Anyone that is brought back to life – you have to respect them.” He noted Fisher’s posthumous appearances in the Star Wars franchise, saying that if the actress had expressed never wanting to be in a film after her death, or if her legacy or that of the franchise could be “tarnished” because of her casting, “then that should be a line.”

“I think the line should be … you must always honor the deceased’s wishes and try to act in a way that is honorable and full of dignity,” Ernst said.

Again, this is extremely different, since Dean could never have stated he didn’t want to appear in a film after his death because, uh, how would he have imagined that was even a possibility-but whatever. Finding Jack is still headed into production with an expected release on November 11, 2020, whether we like it or not.

[maemelany]

Fixing the Broken (Part 3)

Summary: People say that time heals all wounds. In your case, time made it worse.

You’ve been married to Chris for five years, but his absence spoke louder than his words. After 5 years of trying, you’ve decided that you’ve had enough, and you left him. But Chris doesn’t want to let you go; he doesn’t want to give up on your marriage.

Would he be able to fix what you consider irretrievably broken?

Warnings: Angst, tiny tiny mentions of sex

Word Count: 2.6 k

Pairing : Chris Evans x Reader

A/N: I hope you like this one. I can’t wait for your reactions about this one. I can only imagine what @fallenoutofrose will have to say about Chris’s behavior in this part 😂

Enjoy and let me know if you want me to add you to the tag list

Love x  Mae ❤️

Masterlist 

Prologue , Part 1 , Part 2 Part 4 

“It is better to hope than despair.”

-Lailah Gifty Akita,

You finally knocked. After standing in front of that door for what felt like an eternity now, you finally knocked. Your legs felt like jelly, and your heart was pounding in your chest. You were feeling more anxious than the day of your wedding, and the irony of the situation made you almost laugh. Almost, but not quite. You were about to when Lisa opened the door.

She was as radiant as ever, a big, warm smile on her face. Honestly, it surprised you. You knew that she knew. Now that Chris was back, there was no way Lisa wouldn’t know what was going on. That man told everything to his mother.

Lisa let you in, and you followed her into the living room. The house felt like a second home to you. Actually, it felt more like home than your place with Chris sometimes. There was always something happening here. When you left your house, you almost came here. But you felt like it was unfair to Chris. Lisa was his mom, and her house was his safe place, not yours.

“Chris told me everything. How are you holding up honey, are you okay?” Lisa asked you

Her kindness broke your last defence. Her genuine, motherly concern about you made you feel guilty that you didn’t come to her sooner. Lisa had always been so kind to you, taking you in as her own daughter from the moment Chris introduced you as his girlfriend. Your lips started to shiver as you were trying your best to hold the tears back.

“Oh, honey… please don’t cry.”

She took you in her arms, and you broke into tears. It may have lasted five minutes or an hour; you weren’t sure. These days you were crying so much it was just the new normal.

Your best friend had been a great support to you, but she had to. She was your best friend. Chris’s mom was supposed to be on his side, defending her son’s best interest. Not yours.

“Why didn’t you tell me things were that bad, Y/N?” Lisa asked you

You looked away. Somehow ashamed that you thought Lisa would reject you.

“I … I don’t know. Chris is your son, and…”

“And you’re my daughter. Y/N, you’re family. We all love you!” Lisa said, taking your hands into hers. “Plus, I bet some even love you more than Chris,” Lisa joked.

You laughed, feeling a little bit more at ease now. “I’m sorry…” you whispered.

“Don’t be. I am sorry we didn’t see anything,” Lisa said

You shook your head. It wasn’t their fault. They weren’t responsible, Chris and you were. It was your marriage, after all.

Lisa asked for your version of the story, and you could tell she was trying to be as partial as possible. You hated that you had to put her in that situation. She cringed when you told her Chris didn’t notice you were gone until he went to Carly’s place.

“That boy…” she said, shaking her head. “I’m so sorry, honey,” she said, a sad expression on her face.

“It’s not your fault Lisa. Actually, it’s not even Chris’s fault. I can’t force him to stay married to me,” You said

“You think he feels… forced to be with you?”

You shrugged. “I mean… why else would he be as far away from me as he possibly could?”

Lisa watched you closely. You could tell she wanted to say something but was refraining herself.

“You two should talk. Maybe you could solve this…” Lisa said

“I don’t think us talking would do any good. We tried that yesterday; you should have seen how shi… messy it was”

Lisa tried to hide her smile when you stopped yourself from swearing. “If talking to each other doesn’t work, maybe you should try talking to someone else…” Lisa suggested

You frowned. You didn’t see how Chris and you talking to Lisa would help. Yes, Lisa was a wise woman, but as she said herself, she was your mother both. Knowing Chris, he would take it personally if his mother called his shit out about his marriage. You still remembered what happened the last time Lisa agreed with you instead of Chris. He was salty for days.

“I love you, Lisa, but I don’t think talking to you would fix this,” you gently said

Lisa laughed. “I wasn’t talking about me, honey. I meant a therapist.”

“A therapist? Like couples therapy, you want us to go to couples therapy?” you asked.

Lisa nodded. You never thought about that.

“I thought couples therapy was supposed to happen before couples decide they want a divorce.”

“Not necessarily. It could help you express your feelings in a safe place. And, you decided you wanted a divorce, honey. I don’t think Chris agrees with you.”

You frowned. If Lisa thought the warm smile would help you accept the subtle criticism easier, she was wrong. You were even worse than Chris when it came to being right. 

You loved being right and hated being told that you could have done something wrong, especially in that very particular situation. You were right. You had to be right. It would kill you to realize you were wrong and left the man you loved for nothing.

“Do you think I went too far…” You said, the tears resurfacing

“Oh no,” Lisa immediately told you. “You did what was right for you, and that’s the most important. I can’t even imagine how you must have felt, alone in that big house.”

A huge weight lifted off your shoulders. Secretly you thought people didn’t understand you. You were married to Chris Evans, living what they thought should be a fairy tale. 

Even though you and Chris were what people called a private couple, he would sometimes tell things about you or express his love for you when he was being interviewed. When those things happened, your friends would always send you messages, reminding you how lucky you were. 

They didn’t know how far they were from the truth. Most of the time, you were alone in your bed when you were reading their messages. Alone and lonely. 

People think they know things about your life, your marriage, but they don’t. They would have to walk in your shoes, feel what you daily felt to actually understand.

When you left Lisa’s house, she had convinced you. She made you realize that even though things between You and Chris were pretty bad, your relationship was worth saving, or at least you owed it to Chis and yourself to try. Even if therapy didn’t work, you still owed it to yourself and Chris to end things the most peacefully possible. Before being your husband, he was your friend. You needed at least that friendship to be saved.

Instead of going back to your best friend’s place, you went home. It wasn’t even a conscious decision. You started driving and found yourself taking the way home. Instead of turning back, you continued. You realized waiting wouldn’t help. You’d waited so much already, now was the time to act.

As you opened your front door, you felt submerged with that particular sent. You were home. Despite what you told Chris yesterday, this house was your home. You chose almost every piece of furniture.

 Chris was more than happy to leave it to you; he didn’t understand why you needed so many pillows on the bed or a particular shade of beige for the dining chairs. Instead of explaining everything, you would just ask for his opinion when it was absolutely necessary. Plus, it was hard to decorate a house via FaceTime. 

Thinking of it now, decorating this house helped you manage your loneliness for some time. You were proud of every single room, from your bedroom to the laundry room.

You found Chris and Dodger sleeping on the sofa. You weren’t surprised. The couch was probably Chris’ favorite spot in the whole house. You had your office, and he had this sofa. 

You were tempted to lay next to them. They felt like home. But you didn’t want to wake Chris up. If there was one thing Chris was lacking, it was sleep. You also noticed the dark circles under his eyes yesterday, and the current situation was not helping his sleep deprivation.

When you noticed a few takeout boxes in the room, you knew exactly how to occupy yourself. Chris used to love your cooking. Your skills were definitely better than his, but as your husband liked to say, one cannot be good at everything. You smiled when you remembered how you would tease him about his horrible cooking skills, and he would remind you how messy you were.

Even now, after thirty minutes of cooking, the countertop looked more like a war zone than a kitchen island.

“It smells good.”

You jumped. You didn’t see Chris coming, and now you had tomato sauce all over your blouse.

“Chris! You scared me!” you said, looking at him.

He was leaning against the opposite wall, observing you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

You looked at him with more attention. He looked less tired. You wanted to say something, but Dodger was all over you before you could open your mouth.

“Hey, baby. I missed you so much,” you said to your dog.

Dodger started to bark. The high pitch he usually reserved to Chris when he was coming back home after long periods of absence.

It broke your heart.

“He missed you,” Chris finally said

You didn’t know what to reply. You didn’t want to say something that would create a hostile environment for the rest of the evening.

“I need to change myself,” you said, showing your now stained blouse.

You were gone before Chris could even blink. Once in your bedroom, you found everything exactly as you left it. You rolled your eyes, mentally asking yourself how Chris could be so organized. And then you realized he wasn’t that organized. It wasn’t just the bedroom that was exactly as you left it. The walking closet and the bathroom were too.

Chris wasn’t sleeping in your room, and you wondered why.

When you went downstairs, you found him making the table.

“I thought I’d made myself useful,” Chris said when he saw you.

You smiled. That was the kind of evening you used to dream about. You and your husband casually sharing dinner together.

Chris was very attentive, serving you wine, asking you if you needed anything. You wished you could be so relaxed. You wished you weren’t about to drop a massive bomb on him.

“Why aren’t you sleeping in our bedroom?”

Your question surprised you both.

“I… I don’t know. It doesn’t seem… right.”

You looked at each other, your eyes saying more than a thousand words. Again, you were reminded how easy it would be to just give in, to just come back. But it would be a temporary relief, one you would only enjoy until he’d decide to leave again.  

It took you the whole dinner, and filling the dishwasher, and watching the first part of a show to gather enough courage and tell Chris you two needed to see a therapist.

It happened before he was about to kiss you. You could feel it in his eyes, the way they became darker, and the way his body leaned closer to yours. You could feel your heart beating faster and the room suddenly feeling hotter than before.

You wanted to give in, you missed his touch, you missed his kisses. You missed sex with your husband. But you knew it would make things more difficult. Sex had never been a problem in your relationship. Actually, it made you forget about the problems. You couldn’t remember how many times you were on the verge of telling Chris you weren’t happy with the situation and totally forgot about it the minute his hands were on you.

“No,” you said, standing up.

You started walking around the room, trying to compose yourself. It was frustrating how all your perfect, well-prepared plans got ruined the second you were around Chris.

“Y/N,” Chris whispered.

“No, we are not having sex!” you half screamed.

You needed to convince not only Chris but yourself that you were not having sex tonight. But looking at him, looking at him, looking at you made things very hard, literally and figuratively speaking.

“We’re going to therapy,” you quickly said

Chris blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

You cleared your throat. “I said, we are going to therapy.”

You could tell he was surprised. You didn’t know if it was good or bad.

“Y/N… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

It was your turn to be surprised. You opened your mouth but closed it immediately after. You wanted Chris to explain himself before jumping to conclusions.

“With how public we are and…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you said, anger quickly possessing your whole body.

“Y/N…”

“You’re worried about your reputation? Do you even want us to be together, Chris?” you asked him.

“I’m not worried about my reputation. I’m worried about… our privacy.”

“Chris, therapists have a duty of confidentiality,” You said, raising your voice.

“Well, you won’t believe how many people would break it given the right sum,” he screamed back.

You wanted to scream, anything that would release the frustration you were feeling inside.

“Do you even want to fix this?” you ask, as calmly as you were able to

Chris huffed. “I was begging you to come home with me yesterday. Of course, I want to fix this.”

You crossed your arms. “me coming home right now would not fix things; it would bring us back to this,” you said, throwing your hands up.

“And this is so bad, right?” Chris asked, bitterness in his voice.

“No, this is perfect. This is what I want permanently. It will kill me to come back to this if this is not forever.”

The room went silent. So many emotions went through Chris’s eyes, and you were trying to decode them all.

Chris finally drew a long breath. “I am not going to couples therapy.”

His words stung more than you could have imagined. They also unleashed the silent anger that was rising inside of you since the beginning of that conversation.

But instead of screaming and crying and pleading with Chris, you reached for your handbag. You were done trying to negotiate with him. You were done trying to spare his feelings.

You removed the divorce papers that had been sitting in your bag for days now. You threw them on the coffee table near Chris and waited for him to look at them.

You could see him become very pale, and if you weren’t that angry, you would be worried.

“Are they…” He started

“Yes. Divorce papers. We go to therapy, or you sign them. It’s your choice.”

Chris was startled. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I’m more than serious. I have a pen if you want to sign now.”

You looked serene, but inside, your heart was dropping lower with every second Chris wasn’t doing anything. You knew you were forcing his hand, but he left you no other choice.

“So, what is it going to be, Chris?”

Chris took the divorce agreement into his hands, and you held your breath. Your heart started beating again when he tore them in half.

He gave you a deadly stare, but at this point, you didn’t care anymore. He could be angry, scream at you, even hate you, as long as it meant you were doing something to try to fix things, you could take it all.

“Text me when you find a therapist you can trust,” you said before taking your bag to leave.

If he thought you’d be the only one sweating for this, he couldn’t be more wrong. It takes two to tango. It was about damn time for Chris to act. Because you were sure that this time feeling sorry or even good sex wouldn’t fix things.

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