#anyway. best movie in the whole entire world. invented romance

[shitouttabuck]

ok stay with me here but: (loose) anastasia (1997) au

evan buckley: the missing, presumed dead, youngest child of the beloved/beloathed buckley family, all of whom were murdered when he was a kid—all except his older sister. except he’s alive, with the unfortunate downside of total amnesia, and nothing to tie him to anyone except a broken something that just reads: buck. so buck grows up alone, and it sucks, especially because it’s not all he’s ever known. he might not have his memories but he knows he's known what love is. home, love, family. there was once a time i must’ve had them too. home, love, family. i will never be complete until i find you.

maddie buckley: only daughter of the buckley family, fell in love with a bad man who tried to kill her whole family to get to her. got away and got safe. doesn’t know if doug’s alive. her brother’s probably dead. surviving’s not the same as living, and she’s been doing it for so long. but… have you heard… there’s a rumour in los angeles. she’s got the best and the brightest protecting her, and all that buckley family money. spreading them both thin could mean doug worming his way out of the woodwork but if there’s even a chance evan’s really out there? she’s already decided.

eddie diaz: conman, but more importantly, dad. there was a war, and then another one, and his wife left, and somewhere in there his parents took his kid from him. he does not have the money to fight them with lawyers, but he’s stubborn and not particularly respectful of the law and he’s heard that maddie buckley’s protective service team has means and money that allow for a) duking it out in court with his parents or b) getting his kid back in ways that are more uh legally grey. and it just so happens the rumours are that maddie buckley will do just about anything and pay just about any sum to find her long-lost brother. blond-haired, blue-eyed, missing at age 10—nearly two decades ago. he could look like anyone, now. sure, there’s the distinctive red birthmark over his eyebrow, but makeup and tattooing go a long way these days. oh, and conveniently, his partner in literal crime, however mild, has an old inside link with someone on maddie buckley’s bodyguard team. chim never shuts up about henrietta wilson—hen, he calls her—particularly when eddie’s fumbling a job and having to improvise and he feels the need to point out just how competent his previous partner steadfastly was.

if eddie and chim are holding illicit auditions for evan buckley lookalikes, and this massive beautiful man stumbles in apparently already having gone to the trouble of dressing for the part? who is eddie to look that gift horse in the mouth? the quicker they see this con through, the quicker he’s together with chris again.

except buck thinks eddie really believes he’s maddie buckley’s missing brother, and buck is warm and ridiculous and so genuinely curious about eddie’s own family, on this journey to find his own, and eddie can’t help but share christopher, and buck listens with bright eyes and holds the photographs so carefully in his big hands.

cons are never victimless, and eddie knows getting chris back takes priority over any moral quandary of identity theft here.

but buck asks about chris’s favourite things and stays up late on their crosscountry train to come up with plans for an accessible skateboard for a kid he’s never met. buck tells eddie he wonders if maddie’ll recognise him, and he hopes she does, because he’s never had anyone see him and know him before. buck asks eddie if he thinks they’ll stay friends, once they’re both reunited with their families. it’ll be nice not to have to miss anyone again, he tells eddie one night, quiet. missing who you don’t remember is one thing. missing who you know?

he trails off and falls asleep not long after, but eddie lies awake in the bunk below him for hours. his moral compass has always swung with whatever cognitive dissonance necessary to justify his actions because the final truth is: heart over mind. and chris has always been his whole heart. so falling in love with your mark has got to be the stupidest, most dangerous thing you can do.

even this is okay; he can handle breaking part of his own heart. but he didn’t realise he was holding so much of buck’s too, and now? he doesn’t know that he can survive breaking any of that.

[becaeffinmitchell]

Fic: what i have (is who i carry home) (1/1)

Summary: Chloe, as it turns out, loves Valentine's Day.

Of course she does. Beca can't say she's surprised in the least.

aka, five Valentine's Days Beca Mitchell's had.

Note: After ten thousand years, I’m free! Or, you know, after eight years, I’m finally posting my first Bechloe fic. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone 🥰  Gif credit goes entirely to @evenstars​ (thank you so much again!)

Words: 4,954

Read below or on AO3!

--------

i. 2012, Freshman Year, Barden University

There are so many other things Beca would rather be doing.

Like go to the dentist. Actually show up for class. Spend time over dinner with her dad and the step-monster.

Okay, maybe not that last one. Nothing in the world would make her choose that.

But here she is, in that stupid red hoodie, holding that stupid bow and arrow, standing in front of people, refusing to sing that stupid song with Amy.

*

 Later, back at the auditorium where they have Bellas practice, Aubrey's voice is shrill and loud. (As always, Beca thinks.)

"Beca, you really need to be picking up the slack. We need every dollar that we can raise so that we have enough to cover our journey to the semi-finals, and you're dead last in our fundraiser right now."

Amy mutters something under her breath, soft enough for Beca to hear something about — the bus? The Trebles? She doesn't really know. Whatever it is, it's not something she wants to get in the middle of.

"Maybe we can think of something new to do." Beca's tone is dry, and she schools her expression into something neutral on her face, her head tilted slightly, knowing that Aubrey has to know she isn't just talking about the fundraising activity.

It's just — she can feel the potential of these girls, okay? And it's such a shame that they're stuck doing the same three songs, over and over. If she could at least try, show them her arrangements, maybe they'd have a fighting chance.

"I have the pitch pipe, and I say we do this exactly how we have been doing it."

Beca is about to say something snarky, something she knows is going to get under Aubrey's skin, when Chloe's voice rang out beside her.

"It's okay. I'll do it with Beca tomorrow."

She hasn't even noticed Chloe approaching them in the midst of this, so her head whips around so fast at the sound of her voice.

"Don't you have a class during that time, Chloe? That's the whole reason why we couldn't pair you up with Beca." There's something about Aubrey's clipped words that is super careful and controlled, like there's more that she wants to say but isn't.

Chloe shrugs, before turning to Beca with a beaming smile. "It's okay, skipping out on one Russian Lit lecture won't make a difference."

 *

 Chloe, as it turns out, loves Valentine's Day.

Of course she does. Beca can't say she's surprised in the least. She thinks she doesn't know anyone who's more enthusiastic about everything and anything.

There's something about Chloe that feels like embers starting at the base of Beca's dead, cold heart, warming it up and turning itself three sizes larger.

It's not a thing she wants to unpack right now; she's not the type to get attached to people, and especially not when she's going to go through with her plan, and leave at the end of the school year. It doesn't matter if her dad helps her or not.

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Chloe's voice, melodic as it comes, breaks the silence as they walk towards the south quad. She looks ready to go through the entire residence hall, her angel wings bouncing behind them.

"It's a day corporations literally invented to convince everyone to buy cards and chocolates and flowers at jacked up prices, so..."

Chloe lets out a happy sigh. "Maybe so. But it's also a day to celebrate love! And love is so awesome. I love love. And I'm not just talking about romantic love, though that is nice. You can also celebrate the love from all relationships in your life. Like your best friends, or your parents, or your siblings."

Beca raises an eyebrow, because Chloe is just so goddamn earnest. She tugs at her hoodie. "Let me guess, you and shower guy have a date?"

"Who, Tom?"

"How many shower guys do you have?" There's a beat. "Actually, don't answer that."

 *

 So here she is, still in that stupid red hoodie, still holding that stupid bow and arrow, standing in front of people, and singing a duet with Chloe Beale.

 *

 The next morning, Kimmy unceremoniously drops a box at the foot of Beca's bed, a loud thud waking her up.

There's a sleeping mask, a whole clip of flash drives, two huge jars of peanut butter, and cans of Red Bull in the box. There's also a card, and her name is written carefully in the middle of an envelope.

Happy Valentine's Day, Beca!!!! I've said this before, and I'll say it forever: I'm SO glad that I met you. I LOVE that you love music like it's the one thing you can't live without. It's something that really resonates with me, too. You make us better. :) :)

xoxo,

Chloe!

 *

 Beca drifts off to sleep that night, the music still playing in her headphones. She's wearing that sleeping mask across her eyes.

 ------------

ii. 2014, Junior Year, Barden University

 The thing with Jesse is, he really loves these grand gestures of romance.

Sometimes Beca thinks that that's his favorite part. It's almost like he's in love with the idea of being in a relationship.

Worse still, in love with the idea of her, like she's this perfectly scripted character who exists for him.

Last year for Valentine's Day, Jesse had shown up at her dorm. Well, outside of her window actually, boombox on his shoulder. She'd tried not to wince, her lips pressed together into something resembling a smile (she hopes) to the strains of In Your Eyes, at the ungodly hour of dawn.

It isn't even that she had just gotten to sleep like, two hours before that. Or the very clear and enunciated "fuck off!" that her neighbor gave them, complete with a dramatic slamming of her window. At least she doesn't have to deal with that now, now that they've all moved into the Bellas house, newly renovated.

It was just a lot, right? And maybe she should have been a better girlfriend to anticipate it this year, or at least match some of that. Rise up to his level, or something. She just has a reservation to a fancy Italian restaurant in Midtown, and she made that way in advance. So maybe she gets points for that?

January rolls into February, and she dreads it. Every day is a countdown to The Fourteenth.

 *

 Here's the more pressing thing: Chloe seems sad. Not all the time, but Beca catches it occasionally.

She presumes she knows her best friend pretty well by this point, until she's doing things like failing a single class on purpose so that she doesn't graduate. For the second year in a row.

And Beca gets it, at least on an abstract level. If she starts thinking about what comes after graduation — and that's in a year and some — she gets nervous, too. But in no version of her reality does she get so paralyzed with fear, that she would opt to repeat her senior year like it’s groundhog year.

She wishes she could know why, for certain. She can't help if she doesn't know what's going on in Chloe's head, but for the first time, it's Chloe's turn to clam up and switch the subject.

So Beca doesn't push. She hopes it's enough to keep her afloat as she works through whatever it is. She doesn't really know what that entails, but music? Music she can do.

She pours her energy into putting together a really solid mix for Chloe; it's all the songs that remind Beca of her, and their friendship. She picks songs and arranges them and removes them before she puts them back in, because it has to sound right.

Beca feels like the world's biggest dork for giving it to her the morning of Valentine's Day.

Well, second biggest dork, because she intercepts Chloe leaving the gift boxes in the room, for her and Amy.

"Hey, uh. Happy Valentine's Day," she says, handing her the flash drive — one of the many that Chloe has gotten her over the years, like she's her supplier — and hoping she doesn't look as awkward as she feels. "It's not anything like your, like, super thoughtful gifts." She gestures in that general direction. "But you're my best friend, so... here."

She gets pulled into a hug, and Beca can't be sure, but it sounds like Chloe's 'thank you' is strained and she's about to cry.

Beca hopes it's enough.

 *

 "So, Jesse gave you just the one earring?"

Beca's back from the dinner. It was... nice? There was a string quartet and Jesse made them play John Legend's All Of Me, and Beca didn't actually die of embarrassment when he started singing along, so she'll chalk that up as a win.

"Yeah, it's like — symbolism, I guess. From the movie." Beca shrugs, chewing on the popcorn she's made that Chloe is currently stealing. She thinks about lightly smacking her hand away, but ends up shifting the bowl so that it's nearer to Chloe.

Does she regret putting Don't You (Forget About Me) in their setlist? Maybe.

Probably not, all things considered, because it worked well together with the other songs, and they did win the finals that year. But it elevated the movie to mythical and legendary status for Jesse, and if he does that arm raising motion one more time during squabbles he wants to get out of? Beca might lose it even harder.

"Is it symbolism or a metaphor? I could never tell the difference."

"I think it was a metaphor in the movie," Beca starts, a thoughtful expression on her face. "But more of a symbol for like, me and Jesse? Oh my god." She presses her free hand to her eyes. "You're such a nerd. Stop making me think deeper about this than I need or want to."

"I just think it's nice," she hears Chloe say.

Beca hums, tone neutral. "It's something, for sure. Wait." She whips her head to face her best friend. "You didn't go out tonight? Ms. 'I Love Love'?"

Chloe chuckles lowly, quietly. "I have all I need here in this house, anyway."

 *

 When Beca goes to the kitchen in the middle of the night for a glass of water, she thinks she hears the soft strains of her mix playing from Chloe's room.

   ------------

  iii. 2017, Brooklyn, NY

 It's apparently the warmest February in New York on record, but Beca is still fucking freezing.

The incessant chill envelops the air, and she pulls her coat closer to her. She's bundled under layers, but the radiator in their tiny little apartment is, as most things in it, almost completely busted.

Jesus Christ. It's cold.

 *

 Amy is convinced she's cold because she's moping, because she's sad about breaking up with Jesse.

Beca knows she isn't, and it's not just the long distance thing.

They'd given it a fair go, and it sucked that he got busier with classes and she tried to solve all of the music industry's problems as an associate producer, working hours trying to make tracks sound... sonically unrotten.

It's not just the long distance thing, because if Beca was honest with herself, it was probably a sign that when he told her that he was thinking of completing his studies in California, her immediate response was that of neutral indifference.

So, she is totally fine.

 *

 Beca hears Chloe singing softly before the door even opens, and she can hear it swing open too, and she knows Chloe is about to shrug her coat off —

"Don't bother, it's also cold in here," Beca says, from under the covers.

Then, her eyes track Chloe as she walks to the radiator —

"I checked, it's working. Supposedly."

"Aww." Chloe strides the distance — not that it's that long — and sits down on their shared bed. "You're so cute when you're grumpy."

"Aren't you freezing?" she chooses to deflect the comment, hugging herself petulantly. "Hey, how was your date with that guy at the clinic?"

Chloe hums noncommittally. "We went for coffee and he double-booked me with another girl."

"Dude. What a dick." Beca feels a flash of — annoyance? Chloe deserves the world. Chloe deserves everything she wants. "I'm sorry."

"I know. It's okay though." Chloe smiles at her. It's that smile that Beca catches that she thinks it's just for her, but she's also a logical person who knows that Chloe has that ability to make people feel like they're the most important person in the world. "I've got all I need right here."

Warmth pools at Beca's stomach, and honestly. It's a nice change from the freezing.

 *

 It's 2 AM, and they're cuddling, because of course they are; because Chloe is warm; because Chloe is an embrace personified; because... Chloe.

Beca stirs awake, and she feels Chloe's breath tickle at the base of her neck. She shifts, not uncomfortably. Then, Chloe's hand drifts sleepily, and lands somewhere on Beca's hip.

And then.

And then.

There is a sudden, startling clarity in Beca's mind, knocking the figurative breath out of her. Her eyes fly open.

She loves Chloe.

And not in the same way where she loves the rest of her found family in the other Bellas.

Oh no, a voice sounds in her mind.

Oh, this is very bad, she thinks.

She can't believe how still she is right now, feeling the entire weight of Chloe's body in contact against her. Feeling her slow, steady breathing against her back. She's not even cold anymore.

Okay. So she loves her best friend. Cool, cool, very cool. That's totally fine. She can handle this.

Chloe's been such a fixture in her life, at every turn; in every note in between the downbeat and upbeat that is her life. Music is in Beca's veins, her whole life, but music flows right through Chloe. She's tucked warmly in the melody, a motif throughout the entire song.

Holy shit, Beca thinks. She's been in love with Chloe for so long, she doesn't even know when it started.

 *

 Okay, so. There's a weird spot on the ceiling, right? And Beca just keeps staring at it, because if she closes her eyes, she will feel Chloe's presence so keenly, pressed next to her.

She can't do anything with this knowledge. She can imagine it now, Chloe giving her a comforting hug but tells her, sorry Beca, I love you but not in that way.

It's five whole years of friendship, of Chloe by her side no matter what, and that is the one thing that she's got that she doesn't want to risk, just because she had this stupid revelation.

God. It's so stupid. It'll pass. Right?

 ------------

 iv. 2018, Los Angeles, CA

 What is really fucking weird, even in the grand scheme of things, is journalists asking her if she's doing anything for Valentine's Day.

Which, like. First of all, Beca's not stupid, she knows it's a way to suss out her personal-slash-love life.

She's kept that pretty close to her chest for now.

But also, there's literally nothing to tell. She's not being defensive because there's something to hide away. Beca is knee-deep in work all the time, and she goes home to an apartment that feels too big for just herself. It's a big change from the entirely too cramped apartment in Brooklyn.

Sometimes she finds herself missing that very specific part of her life. Not the struggling and being unhappy doing work with no integrity, obviously. But Chloe is now a message and three hours ahead, instead of being a daily fixture in her apartment, and it leaves Beca feeling off-kilter.

But maybe that distance is a good thing, after... you know. Revelations.

Anyway.

Her work ethic doesn't stop rumors. She's linked to every guy available — and some not — every single time one of them likes her Instagram posts. She's pretty sure she's had at least two full relationships, according to the National Enquirer.

Theo gleefully sends her screenshots. She tells him to fuck off.

 *

 Chloe Look out, super star! I'm going to be in LA for a good friend's wedding in February!! If you think we're not going to hang, you're sorely mistaken.

 Beca is busy, but she sure as hell isn't going to miss Chloe coming to LA.

 Beca You have good friends outside of the Bellas? I am shocked, Beale.

 Chloe Don't be jealous 😉

 She's not. Not because of that, she catches herself thinking, and frowns at herself. Not because of anything, she decides. It's also exactly how she decides she doesn't have feelings for Chloe anymore, because Chloe is happy with Chicago, and Beca has work, and honestly? Best outcome out of every outcome possible.

Still, Beca offers up her apartment for the long-ish weekend that Chloe would be in town. She's not a monster, and Chloe has like, a mountain of student debt.

It's the least she could do.

 *

 (Beca thinks back to that first performance at the Citadel, just under a year ago. Thinks of all the nerves she's never felt before, while she's walking to the microphone. She's always had the girls on stage with her, but not this time. Her family would be seated in the front row, supporting her no matter how far she goes.

She gets to bring them up on stage this time, of course, but it's also a temporary balm and she knows it. But that's fine, she can figure that part out.

It's the after that smarts a little.

After the performance, after the event, after she feels that pit, growing and clawing from her stomach when she sees Chloe lock lips with Chicago.

After she walks away with Theo, trying her level best to carry on a conversation as if she's not affected by what she'd just seen; trying not to think of all the what-ifs.

After, on the plane back home, when she directs a small smile at Chloe's direction. If she's happy then she's happy for her.

It's the least she could do.)

 *

 Chloe's flight reaches the airport at 7 in the evening, and Beca's right there at LAX, waiting for her to emerge. She can see a couple of people with the big paparazzi cameras, training their lenses at her, but she doesn't care.

There's a flash of red as she sees Chloe running to her, and thankfully she catches her.

"Oh, I've missed you," Chloe says, so earnest and sincere as always; always, and Beca can hear her own heartbeat. She's almost worried that Chloe can too, like a traitorous Tell-Tale Heart.

"Yeah, well, regular sight for sore eyes, that's me." That's good, right? She hits jocularity right in the bullseye with that, as if she can't feel the top of her ears growing hot.

Chloe just laughs; like another kind of warmth. She draws her in again, hand rubbing up and down Beca's back.

Beca thinks she's stupid, for feeling like she's home.

 *

 They get to Beca's place, Chloe appraising the place appreciatively as she wheels her luggage in.

"This is already at least fifty times nicer than our little shoebox in Brooklyn," she observes, and Beca shrugs, a little embarrassed.

"I mean, the label's paying for it, and it's like, it's — it's ridiculous." There's a voice at the back of Beca's head repeating, our little shoebox, and she wants it to shut up.

But it is ridiculous. She has so much space, and two rooms; she sleeps in one and the other one is where she works. She's pretty sure she spends more time in the latter than she does the former.

"Anyway, uh, so here's my sort-of office, it's a bit of a mess right now." She waves her hand around (god, why is she using her hands so much) at the room with her equipment and instruments, before stepping to her bedroom door. "And here's the bedroom, which, like. You should take the bed. My couch pulls out and it's really comfortable?"

"Don't be silly," Chloe tells her, looking back at the king-sized bed. "We've slept in way more crowded spaces. This will be perfect."

Beca swallows, hard. Perfect.

 *

 Falling back into a routine with Chloe is scarily easy.

She's been here for less than three hours, and Beca's already back to being attuned to her. They put on some music in the background, she listens to Chloe talk so passionately about school and all the stuff she's learning, and Beca is so proud.

She brushes her teeth and changes into her pajamas after Chloe does, exactly like how they used to, and climbs into her bed.

"Oh, shoot, I almost forgot," Chloe's saying, and Beca cocks her head curiously to see what she's forgotten. Her best friend comes back with a box, and hands it over to her.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Bec. Also, I don't think flash drives are in fashion now," she winks. "So your Google Drive storage has been renewed, for all the audio files you need to back up. Don't worry, I didn't look at anything else."

"Wh — oh. Oh, right, Valentine's Day, gifts and all," Beca says, and looks at the box in her hand. "Wait, is this ��"

"Chocolate from your favorite place in New York? Yessss," Chloe says, a laugh coloring her tone. She settles back into bed. "Not that you have a shortage of chocolate places here, but Amy reminded me of the time she ate most of the last box after how you were saving your favorite pieces, so I thought I'd bring some here for you."

Beca's heart clenches.

"Thanks, Chlo." She's pretty proud of how unwavering her voice is. "I miss it."

"It's been tough for me too, not having you in my orbit," Chloe says, bumping their shoulders together.

"Yeah? Must be extra tough, because Chicago's not around either." Then she's scrambling. "Not that I'm like, comparing myself to your boyfriend in any way."

She sees Chloe's mouth twist to the side. Beca's eyebrows knit together.

"Chlo?"

"He's not my boyfriend anymore." Chloe's words are slow, measured. Like she's afraid of setting something off.

Beca pauses, as she takes it all in.

"Oh. I mean — Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's been..." Beca sees Chloe's furrowed brows as she thinks. "Three months, almost. Just right before Christmas."

Beca thinks back to Christmas; to the group messages, the online gift cards and food deliveries made in each other's names. Nowhere in her memory exists this piece of information, and she's pretty sure she's not been that shitty of a friend to miss this.

It feels a little bit like being hurt, actually.

"Oookay," she says, licking her lips a little, letting the air out of her slowly. "Okay. Well. Good night, Chloe."

 *

 Beca can't fall asleep, and she's pretty sure she knows why. It's been an hour of staring at the ceiling, and she tries to will her stupid mind to shut down for the night.

She thinks Chloe must be asleep by now; her body clock must be three hours —

"Bec?"

Beca pauses for so long that she thinks Chloe might actually think she's asleep.

"Yeah."

She feels Chloe shift. "I want you to ask me."

Beca wants to be obtuse and frustrating; wants to pretend she doesn't know what she's talking about. Instead, the confusion and hurt win out.

She pushes herself up on her elbows, then into a sitting position. It doesn't feel like a conversation that they should have lying down. She waits for Chloe to do the same, before finding her voice and words.

"Why didn't you tell me that you and Chicago broke up?" Dimly lit by the street lights outside, Beca sees her shift in place, and she feels Chloe's hand reaching for hers. "I thought — well. You know. That we tell each other things."

Which is slightly rich, coming from her, she knows. But still.

Chloe sighs, just quietly. "Because I have feelings for someone else."

Beca blinks, taking that in. It's a weird feeling because she's simultaneously crushed and hopeful, and maybe it's the hour, or maybe it's Chloe's hand in hers, but as her eyes sweep across Chloe's face, Beca is emboldened.

She leans in, and time feels like it's slowing down as she closes the distance and presses her lips on Chloe's, roughly and then temperately.

Beca's not the most impulsive person. In the moments, though, when she is, they always leave her wondering if she'd done something stupid — like punching creepy middle-aged a cappella guys, like leaving in the middle of a fight, like pulling the girls up on stage during her solo set.

Like kissing Chloe Beale in her bed.

So she pulls back suddenly, as quickly as she had started it, an apology already stumbling out. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I just assumed, I'm so sor—"

Chloe makes a noise; something that sounds like no, her eyes so startlingly blue even in this light, and Beca freezes. She's sure her brain is working out some sort of rambling apology or excuse, maybe pass it off as a joke somehow?

But Chloe pulls her back in, both thumbs lightly touching Beca's cheekbones as she meets their lips again.

This second kiss is deeper, slower, more connected. It takes her breath away, as her hand curls at the back of Chloe's neck. Chloe tastes like mint and sweetness and sincerity, and a little like hopeless optimism on Beca's part.

A soft gasp escapes, and Chloe pulls away this time.

Beca has a tentative smile on her face, as she takes in a breath heavily; the questions written so plainly on her face.

Chloe's eyes shine.

"It's always been you, Beca."

 ------------

 v. 2020, Los Angeles, CA

 Having your anniversary on Valentine's Day is good. And bad.

Mostly good, because it means that Beca has that to help keep herself honest and not forget it, because it's impossible to.

Also, she won't forget, but, you know. Just in case.

Bad, especially last year, because it fell right around the Grammys weekend, and apparently when you're nominated and win pretty much... every single category you're in, that's kind of a big fucking deal.

(It started with Best New Artist, and by the time she's on that stage a fourth time, she literally had no other words and nothing but so much gratitude.)

But yeah, so last year's Valentine's Day-slash-anniversary was overwhelming. People contacting her from all corners, wanting to congratulate her and get some sound bites; the internet pouring both support, and scathing critique on her and her music.

Beca wishes she could say she rose above it, that she was as cool as her publicist thinks her to be.

Instead, Chloe had to deal with her, a stressful human ball of anxiety and nerves. Amazing, wonderful, sweet Chloe, just happy to be around her during these exciting and utterly vulnerable times.

 *

 This year, though. This year she's older and wiser.

Hopefully.

This year, the day falls on a Friday, but they've decided to celebrate it the next day and through the weekend instead, because Chloe has a seminar she needs to attend for school, and Theo had packed Beca's entire day with a long meeting.

Key word: had.

At 7 AM, as she wakes up groggily and checks her phone, the invite has disappeared from her calendar, presumably rescheduled for some other time. She vaguely notes the message from Theo about entire teams not being available, and Beca's not going to question the reason why, because she's immediately looking up flights to Ithaca and books the first one out.

 *

 (I'm not private jet rich, dude. Also, carbon footprint. Text to Amy, because of course.)

 *

 Here's her plan:

She'll make a beeline to Chloe's apartment (Beca's been here plenty of times, in the past couple of years; met her friends here in Cornell, hung out with them, appreciated that they're her support circle while she's here), and she'll say something incredibly dorky, and Chloe will kiss her, and then, they will properly celebrate.

God, the things Chloe can do with her mouth; the sounds Beca can get her to make.

Beca doesn’t even bother squirming in the plane seat.

 *

 Chloe I have a surprise!!!

Whereeee are you? 🥰🥰🥰

 *

 Here's what happens instead:

Beca has to fly back home — noun, the place where she lives; noun, Chloe — because while she was spending six hours flying east, Chloe had done the same in the opposite direction; her seminar being canceled (something about the professor being sick?).

She can't believe it.

Okay, she can maybe believe it.

God, the Bellas are going to have a field day with this.

 *

 In the group chat, Chloe's taken a selfie of herself in Beca’s apartment and captioned it: I flew here a day early to surprise Beca, but she flew to Cornell instead to surprise me too 😂

 Emily OMAG YOU GUYS that is SO CUTE!!!!!!

 Beca reads Emily's text, shaking her head, knowing that this is the younger girl's version of restraint.

 Flo One time I thought a guy was going to propose to his girlfriend on the plane, but turned out he was having a heart attack instead.

 Jessica&Ashley #justsoulmatethings

 *

 Rush hour in LA is so horrible, and it's nearly 8 PM when she finally gets back to her apartment. She jogs all the way from the Lyft to her door.

Beca never jogs.

Her own door flings open, and she sees the smiling face of the woman she loves.

"Flying cross country for me is so romantic."

"You did that too," Beca points out, a small smirk on her face.

"Yeah, but you did it twice." Chloe beams, and kisses her again, and again.

[marciego]

Top 5 Violetta episodes

i'm like so bad at remembering specific episodes but i'll try!!

5. 02x40

i haven't rewatched s1 in a while so i'm opting for a s2 episode here, but unlike the other four it didn't come to my mind right away!

i really really like 02x40, it has como quieres, i love how fun the episode is as a whole, leon and lara have some cute moments and i LOVE seeing vilu and lara supporting each other to help leon go to the show, and like? the whole part about violetta buying time for him? her tantrums about not having her shoes? when she pretended to FAINT? i love it so so much, it gives me the same vibes as si es por amor!vilu, aka very different from we're used too but just as enjoyable. also that part when leon finally gets there and leonetta lock eyes and you can see their happiness....chief's kiss. and i really like the dieletta kiss too, if we exclude leonetta's makeout session in the movie it's the most aesthetically pleasing kiss in the show imo

4. 02x01

the colours, the happiness, the good vibes, HOY SOMOS MAS, everyone seeing each other again, the dramatics......i just love it so so much, this episode is by far the best opening episode in the series, and i have so many good memories related to it, like waiting for SO LONG to finally watch it, seeing the commercials on disney channel and almost falling from my chair when i realized i wouldn't have to ever see tomas again...i love it

3. 01x80

the best opening ep deserves to be in the top 5 but the best finale deserves to be in the top 3!! the s1 finale is UNMATCHED nothing slapped as hard as this one. francesca and violetta both ditching tomas and empowering themselves by putting their relationship first, the vilu/ludmila hug, SER MEJOR, and most of all.....The Scene, you know the one, it's so iconic i don't even have to say it. on god german hearing violetta's voice for the first time might be the most emotional scene in the entire show, like there's a reason we all have a love/hate relationship with german, and personally when i watch s1 and s2 most of the time i'm like "where the fuck is the love in this love/hate relationship" because i'm always 3s away from murdering him. and then you have this scene, or soy mi mejor momento in s2 and you see the happiness on his and vilu's faces and you're like damn......i do care

ANYWAY best finale by far it makes me want to cry and scream from happiness

2. 01x35

leonetta's early relationship. that's it they're just absolutely perfect. that te creo scene is one of my favorite ever, gregorio's class when he calls leon out because he can't stop staring at vilu and she's not better at all, the way they're all cute and wholesome with each other, fran, camila and maxi's reaction when vilu tells them she's dating leon, vilu happily telling german she has a bf, THEY'RE JUST. they overshadow everything in this episode it's THEIR time, i love them so much

1. 02x75

romance was invented that day idc. it might genuinely be the best episode in the entire show like it's THAT good, and not just for leonetta. it's the culmination of 75eps worth of wait and anticipation, it's diego's storyline reaching its peak right before the fall, THE climax of the season, and it's handled so beautifully. fran and leon's respect for vilu, the way she finds out about it, THAT MIROR SCENE WITH LEON like the care, the love in every word. and obviously, OBVIOUSLY. podemos. there's a reason that most people who don't even care about leonetta love this scene too, it's just...such a good moment, podemos is already THE violetta love song like nothing can top it, it's so powerful and beautiful, but this scene genuinely made the song a thousand times better. it's the way he goes on stage and for a moment he's the only person in the world to her, every single one of his gestures, every time he touches her, whether it's her face or her hands or her waist (you have NO IDEA what that spin where his hand lingers on her waist makes me feel it's so PURE) is so so so full of love it's just unbelievable. it's also the parallel of diego's "te haré mi princesa hoy con un beso" opposed to leon's "no soy un príncipe azul, tan solo soy" and while it's probably accidental symbolism it's THERE and it breaks me every time.

it's also the satisfaction of seeing diego fall while knowing he's gonna hurt you too once he'll reach the ground. amazing sensation, would 100% recommend. 02x75 is THE violetta episode because it resolves so many things in the best way possible and it's just.....genuinely so so good

[firelxdykatara]

hello!! i just wanted to ask- i wanna do an ouat rewatch bc CAPTAIN SWANN but its pretty long and i honestly dont care for the other characters/how badly the overall writing was handled.. which are your favourite captain swan eps? anything them centered and i think ill just skip around to rewatch their romance as they did invent romance 😭😭 ty in advance <3

they absolutely did invent romance, you are right about that and i love them so much

UHMMMM as far as my favorite CS eps, here’s a roadmap of what I personally consider key eps in their journey (some of this is from memory but I haven’t done a full rewatch in a while so i’m going through the episode list as a refresher)

2x06: Tallahassee--this is a must-watch ep for any CS fan, and I really think this is the episode that sparked the fire that CS would become as a fandom. It has everything--flirtatious banter, all kinds of tension, deliberate parallels drawn between Emma and Killian’s pasts, as well as their first meeting being intercut with her relationship with Neal (which serves, especially in hindsight, to highlight just how sketchy that relationship was, and why she couldn’t bring herself to trust Killian--because the last time she felt this way about anyone, it ended horribly)

2x08 and 2x09: Into the Deep and Queen of Hearts--these episodes cover the race to the portal between Emma&co and Hook/Cora and while they don’t do a ton for CS as a relationship since they’re still enemies at this point, it lays great foundation for their future relationship development. Plus, sexy swordfight, Hook going out of his way to save Aurora’s heart--he may be a pirate, but he has standards ok--and Emma realizing Cora can’t remove her heart without her permission? Poetic Cinema

2x11: The Outsider--more of a Killian-centric episode, it shows a lot of Killian at his worst but it’s necessary for his overall character arc and I genuinely love looking back and seeing just how far he managed to come, to the point of eventually even letting go of his (very understandable) grudge against Rumplestiltskin.

2x12: In the Name of the Brother--am I including this purely for Emma&Hook banter in the hospital, and Killian saying ‘hey beautiful’ when he’s lying on the road because he just got hit by a fucking car? You bet I am. Also, go to youtube and look up ‘ouat season two deleted scene jello’, because it’s beautiful and there was a tremendous outcry in the fandom when we realized it had been cut from the episode lmao (It’s also the episode that made me start shipping Frankenwolf, which I’m still sad never went anywhere, but they had a lot of potential and great chemistry.)

2x22: And Straight On Till Morning--A few of the episodes in between have some fun minor interactions and flashbacks (and I always approve of episodes where Killian gets one up on Rumple, so 2x15 is fun for me if i ignore all the Neal bits) but the finale is where we finally get a glimpse of who Killian could be beyond his need for revenge. He didn’t have to come back, he didn’t have to bring back the bean and help the town--but he did.

Season 3a: there’s a lot of really good stuff here for Hook and Emma that is interwoven between the A plots of other episodes. I think, as far as half-season arcs go, it’s one of the best (and everything after 4a bombed hard, but I digress) But there are a few episodes that stand out if you don’t want to watch the whole season. (I recommend starting with the premier though, it was a really solid season starter overall.)

3x05: Good Form--this is the culmination of David’s poisoned-by-dreamshade arc, and is also Peak Captain Charming Bromance. Hook not only keeping David’s secret, but doing everything he can to help save him??? Poetic cinema. It also provides some crucial Killian backstory, showing how he lost his brother to the very same dreamshade. Plus, the character development--Pan offers Killian a chance to escape the island with Emma if he kills David, and instead, he saves him, refusing the deal and damn the consequences. Also also? The first CS kiss which drove the fandom WILD.

3X06: Ariel--not only to I love OUaT’s take on Ariel, but this episode has the infamous Echo Cave scene, which involves a lot of feelsy confessions and Killian being the one to tell everyone that Neal is alive and helping Emma save him despite his own growing feelings for her.....IT’S JUST A LOT AND I LOVE IT.

3x07: Dark Hallow--oh man, I’d forgotten about this episode, but it has Killian and Neal fighting over Emma, which may sound eye-roll worthy, but Emma is allowed to tear them a new one about it and it’s one of the few times she’s allowed to actually???? put her own feelings first so I have to include it here on spec

3x11 and 3x12: Going Home and New York City Serenade--these mark the end of 3a and start of 3b respectively, and it has some amazing shit like Killian vowing never to forget Emma and Emma smiling as she replies, “Good.” And then she and Henry are in New York with their memories completely altered, but Killian shows up because Storybrooke is back and in jeopardy, and he helps Emma get back to her family and her home and, much later, Emma finds out he sold the Jolly Roger to be able to do it and it’s just. It’s beautiful ok.

3x17: The Jolly Roger--there’s honestly not a whole lot in the back half of season 3 (until the CS movie) but of course anything named for Hook is a must-watch, and this is where we get the iconic line I swear on Emma Swan--which is Killian saying he’s in love with her before he even realizes it. We also find out just what he did to Ariel, and his attempts to make amends are what lead to Zelena being able to curse him, so it’s great from a character perspective as well.

The next four episodes round out the end of the season, and there’s a lot of great stuff in them--Hook refusing to get Emma to kiss him, but Emma feeling like she can’t trust him because he didn’t tell her about the curse to begin with, and then kissing him anyway to save his life regardless of the consequences.... but the only ones that are absolutely necessary are the final two episodes.

They are colloquially termed ‘The Captain Swan Movie’ for a reason, after all.

Killian and Emma essentially have an entire Time Travel adventure all to themselves, where they accidentally ruin her parents first meeting and have to fix it so that she’ll even be born, Emma finally getting into the storybook, the pair of them dancing at a ball, Killian rushing to save Emma only for her to get out of the cell herself, because “The only one who saves me is me.” Killian saying “I would go to the ends of the world for her... or time.” Finally fixing the timeline and making it back to Storybrooke and Killian feeling like he doesn’t deserve a place at the table so he doesn’t go inside, but Emma comes out to him anyway and finds out he gave up the Jolly Roger for her, the true start to their relationship...... IM CRYING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT I’M SORRY.

I personally really enjoyed 4a, the Frozen arc was one of the last good half-season arcs of the show, but a lot of people disliked it so it’s really up to interpretation. I don’t have as many Intense Opinions on this season (except hating almost everything about 4b and the queens of darkness arc), but I will say the episodes with good Killian/CS moments are 4x02 (Emma nearly freezes to death, Killian is desperate to save her, Captain Charming teamwork, my heart hurts), 4x04 (Emma asks Killian out on a real date, he tries to get his real hand back from Gold, things go massively awry and he winds up back under Gold’s thumb), 4x08 (Killian tries to save Emma from Gold’s plans), 4x11 (the 4a finale is just great in general), and then..... it cannot be overstated how much I hate season 4b, but 4x15 is the Killian-centric ep where his past with Ursula is revealed and he makes amends to her in order to get her to leave the QoD alliance and it’s great character stuff for him, and then there’s the season 4 finale.

Both parts are worth watching, if only because Deckhand Coward Hook still being a braver, more heroic man than ‘Hero Rumplestiltskin’ warms the very cockles of my heart, and of course the second part of the finale has him helping Henry to save Emma and it’s beautiful and also Emma watches him die for her and it is angsty as FUCK but gods I love it. Here’s where it gets tricky, though--my recommendation is, turn the episode off right after Emma finds Killian back in the present day of Storybrooke and they reunite.

Just turn off the episode there and skip right ahead to the s6 musical episode (Emma and Killian’s wedding ep) and pretend they got married and none of seasons 5 or 6 ever happened. >.> (Although I will say certain parts of the Underworld arc were incredibly feelsy despite how much I overall hated the season: 5x11 (the 5a finale, Killian as the dark one STILL being a better man than rumple, we love to see it), 5x15 (I am not immune to Brothers Jones feelings ok), 5x20 (emma literally takes a True Love Test trying to find a way to save killian, you don’t get more romantic than that--also Killian telling Emma to promise she won’t put her armor back up just because she lost him again??? my HEART), 5x21 (Hook does what he can from the Underworld anyway and zeus sends him back to Emma, they really just said ‘today I will invent romance’ and then Did That)

And then, yeah, just skip to the wedding. It’s beautiful, I enjoyed the music, personally, though I know musical episodes are hit or miss with most people. And if you turn it off when the last musical number starts (after the wedding ceremony, I believe) you can pretend it was the end of the show! =DDD

.....Oh my god I just rambled for years. I HOPE YOU FIND THIS USEFUL, ANON. I 100% support a CS-centered rewatch, their episodes were consistently some of the best across the entire series, and they are truly one of my favorite romances of all time.

[dyadhogsarchive]

          it was, as usual, a quiet night outside the village. the only real sounds in amy’s home that night was the usual drone of the crashing waves on the nearby shore and the gentle breeze rustling the plants in her garden, broken only by the occasional sound of a turning page from the house’s lone occupant. yet, even the latter faded away in due time as jade eyes focused elsewhere, seeing without really seeing.  

          sighing, amy closed her book and gazed out of the windows of her house, a dull but thoughtful expression on her face. how long she stayed like that, she didn’t know but she was only snapped out of her trace by the sound of her front door unlatching and opening. turning towards it, the heroine was hardly surprised to see that it was sonic walking in, looking amused for reasons she could only guess.

         ❝ well, you were right. tails fell asleep in his lab working on that invention of his so i had to get him settled in before i came here, ❞ he was quick to clear up that mystery, closing the door behind him before strolling casually off to the side, into the kitchen. ❝ knux fell asleep even before tails did so sneaking out wasn’t that hard. ❞  

          having fully expected some response, not the resounding silence that followed, sonic raised a brow as he looked at the other hedgehog. something that would have been a lot more effective if she had been facing him and he wasn’t staring at her back. which was odd in itself. usually she’d at least comment on him eating her food. ❝ are you feeling okay…? ❞

          “yes,” amy replied, maybe a little too quickly as she turned around to face her partner, or as much as she could while still sitting on the couch anyway. “why do you ask?”

          ❝ well, for one, i just said you were right about something and you didn’t gloat about it, ❞ the speedster pointed out matter of factly, rounding the back of the couch to stand next to amy. after a moment of scrutiny, he folded his arms as he looked down at her. ❝ plus you have that look you get when you’re super lost in thought and that’s usually not a good sign. ❞

          amy glared at him, not entirely pleasantly. “i don’t have a look.”

          raising both hands in a mock defense, sonic just grinned as the female huffed. still, his expression levelled out before too long, a concern in his eyes as he looked at her and the living room was cast into silence again. yeah, something was definitely off.

          ❝ did i do something? ❞ it was the only thing he could think of and, frankly the only thing he would understand. try as he did, sometimes the speedster wasn’t the most attentive person out there and he was just as aware of that as amy was, but he was almost relieved when the heroine looked at him, perplexed and surprised.  

          “what? no. no, of course not,” she assured, putting on a smile that was almost convincing but it ultimately fell again, hands clasped in her lap, and hesitating before speaking again. “i’ve…just been thinking about things. you know...about us.”

          that got the speedster’s attention and it was all he needed to drop down in the seat next to her, curious and worried at the same time (much to amy’s dismay). ❝ are you sure i didn’t do something? ❞

          “i’m sure. if anything, it’s just me,” she explained, sighing heavily before looking back at her partner. “i just…feel bad.”

          when she didn’t say anything else for a while after that, sonic nudged her. he didn’t like this weird role reversal, not one bit. usually it took an arm and a limb to get amy to not talk about her feelings. this was just weird and only served to worry the speedster more. ❝ about what? ❞

          again, silence ensued but the pair’s gazes never broke, one worried and the other oddly guilty, until amy finally looked away, voice quiet.  “about…keeping us a secret.”  

          there was a pause.

          ❝ you’re just feeling bad about that now? ❞ the words were out before sonic really thought them through, and he inwardly cursed himself when amy turned a broken look his way. scrambling to reiterate, he chuckled sheepishly as he held up his hands. ❝ what I meant is that it’s nothing new, right? why feel bad about it now if things are going well? ❞

          “it’s because they’re going so well,” amy explained, or tried to. despite the desperate note in her voice sonic looked more confused now than ever. somehow that didn’t help things and her ears lowered as she continued. “i know it was my decision to keep everything a secret but…that was years ago, sonic. i should want to rub it in everyone’s face and scream it from the rooftops but…”  

          ❝ but you’re not ready to, ❞ sonic filled in when a few hushed moments fell between them, prompting amy to nod meekly. while it was small, and somewhat somber due to the circumstances, the speedster still smiled as he shrugged, a nonchalant gesture. ❝ eh, so what? ❞

          amy turned an incredulous look his way, confusion plastered on her face this time, and it was all sonic needed to smile that much more. anything was better than seeing the heroine all depressed, especially over something that was supposed to be a good thing. he knew this lapse was just that, a momentary doubt and, frankly, he had sort of expected it sooner or later.

          they had known from the start that this wouldn’t be easy, and not just because they had to hide something pretty significant from their friends, the people they considered family. having a secret romance only sounded good in cheesy movies and novels, actually being a part of it was something else entirely.  

          the films and books never explained how hard that weight was to carry, or just how…unsatisfying it was. then, of course, there was this. the doubt that crept up from the whole notion, from the lack of real ‘romance'. spending time together was fun but it left something to be desired when it was so limited, not to mention there was only so much you could do, especially in a place like the village that was so small and where rumors were quick to pop up.  

          so, yes, sonic had expected this but, more importantly, he wasn’t bothered by it and his expression showed as much as he easily took one of amy’s hands in his. ❝ don’t get me wrong, it’s only going to get harder to hide the longer we keep this up but when we agreed to wait, it was until you were cool with the whole thing. i knew it might take a while but what’s the point of comin’ clean if you’re going to be miserable? doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose? ❞  

          amy opened her mouth to say something, likely to reject that statement but she hesitated, knowing her partner was right. in addition, his response had caused a series of butterflies to flutter about in her stomach and, for the first time that night, a smile tugged at her lips (much to sonic’s relief).

          “i’m still sorry…” she started, looking down at their hands and finally unable to stop herself from smiling fully as her eyes met his, picking up on a subtle adoration she doubted he even knew he was giving off. it was enough for her to squeeze his hand, an apologetic air to her next words. “i just…want you to know i’m not doing it to embarrass you or anything...”

          ❝ i know exactly why you’re doing it. i was fine with it then, and i’m fine with it now, ❞ he replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and amy was glad for that. more so when he, surprisingly, pulled her in for a hug which she gladly melted into, just in time to hear his next words quite clearly. ❝ and if that doesn’t win me the award for best boyfriend, i don’t know what does. ❞  

          amy knew he was joking, for the most part, but she still rolled her eyes, not that he could see it. sonic would, however, hear it. “not your modesty, that’s for sure.” 

          after that, there was a silence and not an uncomfortable one. just the opposite as the two of them sat there, listening to nature’s nightly chorus for a few minutes until amy, unable to resist, curled against her partner’s side, feeling infinitely better than she had at the start of the night. “thank you…”

          there was no vocal response from the speedster, not that she had really expected one, but the soft kiss to the top of her head spoke in volumes anyway.

[teacupwriter]

writing process tag

thanks so much for tagging me @katiehahnbooks!! I loved reading your answers, btw. This looks like fun and I need a bit of a pick-me-up tonight, so here goes. :)

1.  What are your favorite genres and/or styles to write in?

I tend toward historical fiction and action/adventure, sometimes with fantasy elements and usually (but not always) featuring romance. I’m not a super ‘realistic’ writer so all of my stuff takes on a cartoon/comic-world quality. Probably a side effect of all the comics and Disney I consumed growing up, but I’m going with it.

2. What was the last writing project you finished and felt successful with?

Mm. Kind of a tricky question at the moment. I recently wrote and posted a Tintin fanfiction one-shot series that I felt pretty happy with at the time, but it didn’t get a great reception. So, mixed results. I think I learned that I should stick to my more natural writing mode. (As in, long drawn-out 30+ chapter stories.)

3. If you have a WIP how do you feel it’s going? What stage are you in?

I have several fanfiction WIPs (read: too many) and one original WIP. I feel it’s going at about the rate I can expect considering my current school workload. I have a title, and the core cast of characters, and a very, very rough idea of the plot, but I’m still in the research/outlining stage. Right now I’m researching the involvement of British Secret Intelligence in the Spanish Civil War (yes, England was all up in Spain’s business and, no, they were not supporting the democratic side) because my female MC’s love interest is a female British spy. Anyway, I love live for research so I may be in this stage for a while...

4. What is your favorite place to write?

Anywhere it’s quiet. Although ever since I got noise-cancelling headphones (best purchase of my life, worth every penny) that can pretty much be anywhere! I am easily distracted by other people though, so unless I’m really in The Zone I prefer to be alone.

5. Do you prefer to write long hand or type? Or some other method?

I prefer to type. I use copy and paste quite a lot when writing, and I keep a spare document open to dump discarded paragraphs/descriptions in case I feel like coming back to them. But I do brainstorming and middle-of-the-night idea scribbling by hand. Last summer when I had a job with a 1-hour both ways commute, I would record myself talking out loud about my story while stuck in traffic.

6. Do you remember your first character? If so can we meet them?

Hah, okay. I could start with my LOTR hobbit OC, Jessica, whom I invented while running around with my younger brother LARPing as Merry and Pippin (we were like 8 and 10 years old, we had no idea what we were doing had a name, of course.) I would play one side of a conversation as Merry and then hop a foot away to play the other side as Jessica. (Who was also his love interest. Of course.) Or I guess I could talk about Fudgie the anthropomorphic stuffed dog who was the star of the first story I wrote at 7 years old, which detailed his voyage across the Pacific Ocean in a bathtub. Or... my Tintin fanfiction OC I created when I was 14, who was, well, not the pinnacle of originality by any means. But I have fond memories of her, and all of them, honestly. Love your ridiculous old characters. #end cringe culture 2018

7. Where do you get your inspiration?

So many places! Sometimes the architecture of an old building, or a dual-ownership home where the top half is painted a different color from the bottom half. (Which I actually saw once in Cambridge, MA. Like, imagine an enemies-to-lovers, ‘we’re stuck renting the same house because it’s a great location but we disagree on everything’ rom com!) Super mainstream action movies tend to inspire me, for some weird reason. (My favorite - the Jason Bourne movies.) I’m inspired by museums, paintings and illustrations, historical photography and comic books... lots of random stuff.

8. Do you outline a story before writing it, or does it all live in your head until the first draft gets put down?

I outline. I outline quite a bit. But I do believe that there is such a thing as too much outlining. You don’t want to entirely snuff out the element of unpredictability. You have to trust that the story might know better than you do, and let it take you unexpected places.

9. Where do you go/what do you do when you’re feeling stuck?

That’s usually when I hand write, or open up a separate word document and just start rambling. Eventually I land on the problem, and once I know the problem, I get an idea of how to fix it. Usually. If that doesn’t work, I’ll just take a break and ignore the whole thing for a while.

10. What got you started writing/doing art? (Because I always love origin stories)

The first time I put a story on paper was for a creative writing assignment in the 2nd grade. (Earlier I mentioned Fudgie the anthropomorphic stuffed dog? Yeah, this was his debut.) The page requirement was 5 and I wrote 20 before my teacher actually stopped me, explained that it was time to turn it in, and even though I wasn’t finished, I could use three magic words: “to be continued...” I never did finish it, but I think I can forgive 7-year-old me. I was probably too busy playing with my Calico Critters.

Okay, I’m tagging @kittensartsbooks, @cabaretofwords, @patomac, @gooseandcaboose, @thewriterexfriends, and @natsacespace. Please tag me if you do this, I’d love to read all your answers!! (But no pressure of course.) ♥︎

[tsdecoded]

Burton to this Taylor

Before I begin, I need to specify that I am first and foremost a video analyst. I don’t really want to go into lyric analysis because I didn’t study anything related to that, but Ready For It just dropped and it kind of ties two music videos and three songs together. So, I’m going to give my analysis of what Taylor Swift is doing with this song! 

Let’s begin shall we? 

I was not a fan of Ready for It. *I need to specify this, because it’s the whole reason I got into the analysis part of this post!* I thought the verses made no sense and even though the chorus is one of my favourite TS choruses ever, I didn’t feel like it fit the song! It all felt out of place. 

BUT I AM A STUBBORN GIRL! And I wasn’t going to give up on Tay Tay that easily, so I started dissecting the song. The verses still don’t really make sense to me, to be honest, but when I got to “Burton to this Taylor”, my interest peaked. Why? Well, because Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton are one of the most iconic couples in Hollywood’s history, but their love was problematic, to say the least! 

Okay, this is where I put on my nerd glasses and take you for a Classic Hollywood history lesson! 

Let’s begin! 

*DISCLAIMER* I am over-simplifying this story… it’s such a complicated and intriguing story, and I am not a biographer! If you want to know more about the couple and this scandalous story, go read Furious Love or any of their biographies. 

Anyways….

In 1954, a 28-year-old Richard Burton sees a 21-year-old Liz Taylor at a pool party and falls in love. She is gorgeous, famous, funny, and is completely ignoring him. In fact, Liz didn’t even talk to him at that party. Burton got hooked and it became a sort of personal challenge to get with her! Nine years later, in 1963, destiny would throw them together again on the set of Cleopatra, which by the way was the most scandalously expensive movie of its time. Burton was cast as Mark Anthony and Taylor was cast as Cleopatra.  Now, this movie was an epic letdown, it was a mediocre biopic at best, but it is still an iconic film because it gave us Liz and Dick! Burton and Taylor fell in love while shooting this film. They were both married to other people, but it didn’t stop them from falling for each other. When the filming was over, they went back to their respective spouses, but they couldn’t stay away from each other and a little less than a year later, they both got divorced. In 1963, they tied the knot and thus began the fantastic story of one of the most turbulent and passionate love affairs of the Golden Age of Hollywood. They were married for 11 years, then they got divorced in 1974, just to get married again in 1975 and then divorced again in 1976. 

Now, we can all agree that neither of them was a particularly stable adult. They were both alcoholics, suicidal at points, and extremely passionate. (It is said that Burton was an alcoholic as a way to drown his homosexuality, but I am not even going to go down that hole, because this analysis would never end!) Between the two of them, they had eleven spouses. Seven for Taylor and four for Burton. 

This is perhaps the most extravagant, turbulent and craziest relationship imaginable! So, why is Taylor Swift so obsessed with it? I hadn’t realised this, but the Liz Taylor-Richard Burton imagery goes back to 1989! In fact, both Wildest Dreams and Blank Space hint to it. 

Let’s start with the obvious one: Wildest Dreams. 

Now, the music video for the song is very obviously a depiction of Liz and Dick’s relationship.  -They’re both actors -They have an on-set romance -They’re in other relationships (at least he is) -They can’t stay away from each other (he runs out of the theatre after she leaves.) 

Taylor even replaced her blonde signature look, for a black wig! Taylor is very clearly creating a parallel between herself and the actress. 

I’ll come back to this video and this song later on, but for now, let’s focus on Blank Space. 

Ahhhhh! Blank Space, my love… 

I already did an analysis of this video, but here is another approach.

I was reading about Liz and Dick, and I came across this great article called “Why We Can’t Help Loving the Love Story of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton” in it, we get this great paragraph:

From the moment they fell for one another, they would entrance and enrage the invested public, not to mention the paparazzi, nearly as much as they’d be entranced and enraged by the many facets of one another. Fans and haters (before the concept of haters was even invented) were drawn in by their shameless over-the-top romance, its scandalous headlines blaring across the pages of the tabloids, and their irrepressible need to be together, despite it all. Adding further resonance to the saga were the roles Burton and Taylor played in films throughout their relationship, which frequently paralleled their lavish personal lives: full of travel and expensive jewellery and entourages and love-making and joy, but also alcoholism and brutal fights and deep despair, heartbreak, and pain.

As I was reading it, I couldn’t help but think of Blank Space. Tell me that last line doesn’t sound like a very accurate description of Blank Space’s video!! Even the structure of the phrase matches the structure of the music video. It starts magical and perfect and soon we realise there’s a darker side to everything. Now, I’m not saying Taylor read the article and made the video around that line, but if you think about it, it makes a lot of sense that if fits both of them.

This is where I get really interested in this whole deal! There is a clear parallel between the singer and the actress. It’s mostly a parallel between their reputations (lol.. see what I did there?). Both of them have had issues with the media focus on their personal lives rather than their talent. That’s what Blank Space is all about! In a way, Blank Space is a reminder that Taylor is first and foremost an artist, her media persona is something that was created to sell magazines! 

Both Liz and Taylor have had to deal with a very unfair representation of their character. Liz had to go through years of being called every single name in the book. I mean, yeah, she did get married eight times and she did steal other women’s husbands, but that should not be what we remember about her. She was a Hollywood legend! She won two Academy Awards, she portrayed some of the most amazing characters on screen, she was an activist, an entrepreneur, a stage actor, a film megastar… but her reputation tainted her legend. People will never be able to separate her from her “man-eater” image.  Taylor Swift is dealing with a similar situation. She has won eleven Grammys, and almost three-hundred other awards. She has broken countless records, written whole albums by herself, headlined sold-out arena tours, she has donated millions of dollars to different charities, she has lead a career worthy of respect and legend status, but a quick search will show you that all people care about is who her latest boyfriend is. Even worse, just as Liz was in her time, she is hated for her dating history. 

Both women have fallen victim of a sexist system that demonises female sexuality. This tainted reputation problem never really affects the men. I mean, Richard Burton had countless affairs, sometimes with underaged girls (x), but he is not judged or hated for it. He is first of all, and actor, and his legacy is as an actor and then as Elizabeth Taylor’s tempestuous lover. People still watch Woody Allen movies, elected Donald Trump as president, watch Casey Affleck and Joaquin Phoenix movies, listen to Chris Brown’s music… all these men (except for Trump) are regarded as artists, their every mistake excused, but we hate Liz and Taylor because they married/dated a few men? 

Blank Space is basically Taylor’s way of showing the public how ridiculous this image that she has actually is. She reprises this idea in Look What You Made Me Do, but if I go there, I will never get out of there, and this post is already long enough! 

So… WHAT DOES THIS ALL HAVE TO DO WITH READY FOR IT?????? 

Whoa.. chill! I’m about to get there! (I told you I was a nerd….)

Ready For It is the first time Taylor makes the connection between her and Elizabeth explicit. “Burton to my Taylor” - great play on words because it reinforces this connection. Both of them are Taylor. (DEEP)

After reading about their relationship, I was left wondering why Taylor Swift would ever want a relationship like that. She has always said she’s a hopeless romantic, and Liz and Dick’s relationship is more like an addiction than a relationship. Yes, it’s passionate and it’s epic, and it’s what movies are made of, but would anyone really want that? Maybe at first, but after a while you want stability, and loyalty, and companionship, and to feel at home. And that is what Taylor has been writing about all this time. So, why use Burton and Taylor? 

Well, that article I mentioned before has the answer: 

Thirty years later, “Liz and Dick” is part of our shared historical understanding of romance, the ultimate kind of celebrity affair, one that still dwarfs the fleeting, 72-day benders of the Kardashian era. They seduced and destroyed and seduced each another again and again, and the public could not look away, nearly as enthralled by this train-wreck of a beautiful couple as the two were with one another. As icons representing a star-crossed, all-consuming, fantastical kind of love—like Romeo and Juliet, or, better yet, Marc Antony and Cleopatra—they offer the mythology of the absolute, whether it’s good or bad, better or worse. We love them because it was difficult beyond all imagining, but they kept going back. We also love them because it didn’t have to be difficult: They were living lives most of us can only dream of, with yachts and international homes and movie deals and million-dollar diamonds and entire worlds at their feet.

It’s all for the public, it’s all for the tabloids that sell the story. 

Now, there’s another interesting line in RFI: “No one has to know” it’s the last line before the chorus. This line reminded me of “I said no one has to know what we do” from Wildest Dreams. 

So, in the same song, Taylor is singing about the most mediatic and publicised celebrity relationship, and about keeping it a secret. It doesn’t really make sense, unless you see it as a song about both Taylors (and I don’t mean Liz here. I mean both Taylor Swifts). Ready For It is the love-child of Wildest Dreams and Blank Space and that is why the song doesn’t really make much sense at first. We get the media Taylor singing the verses, dripping with sarcasm and reminiscing of Blank Space yore..  and then you have the real Taylor singing the chorus, hopeful, sweet and sexy, reminiscing of Wildest Dreams.

In fact, Taylor has been singing about the secret part of the relationship since she started. The hidden/forbidden relationship is one of her motifs! And I finally figured out why. The real Taylor lives in the secrets, and not on the tabloids. We can judge her all we want about the men she dates (or doesn’t date)… about what she says or doesn’t say, about the clothes she wears… but at the end of the day, Taylor will always kick us in the ass with some amazing lyrics and great storytelling! She’s the only one that knows her own story! 

“There once was a girl known by everyone and no one” 

So, to conclude, I think Ready For It is about both Taylors. The Taylor that feels like Liz, overshadowed by her reputation; and the real Taylor, the one that lives in the secrets, that has real feelings and real desires. 

It might not be my favourite song in her repertoire, but I think Taylor is a masterful lyricist and storyteller and I am very excited about this new era! 

BRING IT ON! 

the end. 

How did I do @taylorswift?

[nirah10]

So I got a couple of messages about the “straight ships” post and I feel the need to clarify that I don’t have any issue with people who don’t ship m/f pairings. I wholeheartedly believe in letting people enjoy whatever ships they enjoy, but I have come across some people who berate those for enjoying straight ships. I’ve come across some people who have some kind of superiority complex over the fact that they don’t ship straight ships. I’ve come across people who have acted like shipping a straight ship somehow makes you less accepting of non-straight ships. I’ve come across people who agree certain characters would make a good pairing but still argue against people shipping them simply because they’re straight (which is what I think the OP meant by the first sentence about people who “refuse” to ship m/f pairings), like there’s some kind of rule about it. I’ve even come across people who do like certain m/f pairings but have said that they feel like they shouldn’t because they’re straight and they’ve been pressured by other people.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people who don’t ship straight ships (I ship very few myself) but I do think there’s something wrong with acting like people who do are somehow homophobic or ignorant.

As I said, the wording in that post was much stronger than I would use for expressing that idea, but I still agree with the idea. Shipping is supposed to be fun so, if people ship straight couples, just let them enjoy their ships.

Anyway, I’m going to add the messages I received regarding this here (don’t worry, everyone one was perfectly polite--I just got the feeling that the post had been misunderstood as me saying you should ship straight ships, when it wasn’t).

From Anon,

http://www.ilovetelevisionzines.com/another-boring-straight-couple-why-i-hate-your-canon/

This article has some points. Ross and Rachel are often deemed one of the best and romantic Canon ships on a show of all time. But I always thought even this so called most romantic sitcom trip was very unbalanced.

Tiny extract but the whole entire is worth a read.

’On Friends, Ross loves Rachel. And heshows that love through a jealousy and obsession that should send any flesh and blood woman running for the hills. Ross can’t stand it when Rachel has a male co-worker or - God forbid - friend. His acts possessive of Rachel and marks his territory. He treats Rachel like an object to be fought for. His jealousy causes bitter fights and leads to the first of their many, many break-ups. In real life, a man trying to separate a woman from her friends is the redest of flags. Here, it is a sign of the depth of Ross’s passion. In reality, people are autonomous beings, not objects to be fought over. But on Friends, Ross fights to win Rachel because he loves her.’

I think this article has quite a few good points. I don’t prefer f/f or m/m because I’m hetrophobic, but because m/f have made me numb with it being pushed on me since I was four with romance being added into every kid movie ever. Most 12 years old I know don’t care less about romance. But so many 12 year Olds in films and TV end up invested in a realtionship or whatever. I was like ‘why are they targeting this stuff at is so early?’ and a lot of it just seems unhealthy.

http://www.ilovetelevisionzines.com/another-boring-straight-couple-why-i-hate-your-canon/

Dear Anon,

I actually agree with this quite a lot. There are so many problematic “love” stories out there and Ross and Rachel is one in particular that I always disliked (even though I love the show). Everything about their relationship, mostly due to Ross’s behaviour, was very unhealthy and I don’t think they would work. They only “work” because the writers wanted Ross to get the girl in the end. There is a lot of harmful sexism still present in the writing of TV and movies (mostly involving women being a prize whose own feelings are unimportant) and the traditional boy-likes-girl therefore guy-gets-girl story is lazy and boring, so I totally get the points this article is making. At the same time, Friends created Monica and Chandler, a straight couple who I feel did have a really good story and did have a very healthy relationship. So, while I despise Ross and Rachel, I ship Monica and Chandler to hell and back.

From Anon,

https://www.google.com.au/amp/www.afterellen.com/tv/475459-im-boycotting-straight-white-television/amp

Although I do think this article has a point. I mean, it it is a little blunter than I would say, but I don’t think people are boring for not personally shipping m/f. Even in m/f today there are so many unhealthy gender dymanics that get passed over for being cute. And there is still a crazy huge amount of m/f compared to E everything else.

A study was just published by USC demonstrating how exclusive film and television can really be. Out of the 414 films and television shows they examined, and the 11,194 speaking roles, only 2% were LGB. Out of that number, 72.1% were male. That leaves only 49 lesbian speaking roles and seven transgender roles. And seeing about fiften percent of people identity as none straight, 2 percent of characters (normally side charctersc, not even main characters) is not a lot.

Dear Anon,

I don’t think people are boring for having their own preferences either. I think I interpreted the first sentence of that post differently than others did. My mind focused on the word “refused”, which I took to mean they were talking about people who would ship an m/f pairings because they do think their personalities match up well but, despite how they actually feel, will refuse to ship them just because they’re straight. I have met a few people who are like that and it’s just bizarre to me. Why put a weird set of rules on what things you’re allowed to like and not like? That’s strange enough as it is, but I’ve met a lot of people who also try to impose those same rules on other people (which I think the rest of the post was about) and I’m really not okay with it when people do that.

I understand not shipping m/f pairings just because they aren’t interesting to you anymore because you see them everywhere. I ship very few m/f pairings myself for that exact same reason but, once in a while, I see an m/f pairing that just clicks so well that I ship them anyway despite my usual preferences.

From Anon,

My brother is a straight dude who only dates women but will only read f/f or m/m novels. I get the f/f but I asked him about the m/m and he told me it was because he felt these novels had more room to explore a different dymanic with gender politics thrown out the window in these relationships. He said he grew up on f/m Disney films, movies, books, tv and that he was just wanted a change. So while Tumblr heavily leans towards same sex couples, most of the world of fiction is still the opposite.

Dear Anon,

My response to this post would basically have been the same as the one above so I likely would have posted the two submissions together and responded to them together. The formatting for this is just kind of weird so I thought I should clarify that lol But, yeah, please read above ^_^

From Anon,

So this blog needs for straight ships them. Hmmmmmmm. Rose annoys me so she's out. I like Kevin/Annie. Hmmmmmmm. That is only one though. I shall ship Doug/Celeste to even the numbers out a bit then.

Dear Anon,

lol You don’t have to ship straight ships or invent some just for the sake of balancing out, but I appreciate the effort XD

[crimsonrevolt]

Congratulations Cassidy you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Orion Black!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

Seeing old members return is always a blessing! And I know that Orion’s been deeply missed, so we’re extremely happy to see him back and to be able to watch you explore him further! Especially in regards to everything that’s happened with the Death Eaters since you left, it’ll be interesting to watch Orion find his place in amongst them, or if he’ll still be able to. Welcome home Cassidy!

application beneath the cut

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Cassidy, 23, she/her, Pacific Timezone, United States

ACTIVITY

6/10. I’m not in school anymore which allows me more time to write, but I’m still working 40+ hours a week. I’ll be able to get on at least once a day for a couple of hours to write replies.

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

Originally, I found CRT through the ‘marauder era rp’ tag…I think…something of that variation.

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

Hermione was always someone I looked up to as a kid. I was 12ish years old around the time I first started reading the books and by then there were at least a couple movies out. I was awkward and nerdy and just didn’t quite fit in anywhere. I guess that made me feel like Hermione and I were kind of alike, but the best part was watching her grow up and thinking “if she can do it so can i”. It sounds so embarrassing when I type it out, but oh well.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Nope, besides I missed the hell out of you guys!!!!

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Orion Arcturus Black

FACE CLAIM

Jeffrey Dean Morgan

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

When I first joined, I had a hard time choosing between two or three characters, but every time I went back to Orion. I had never seen him in an RP before and if I had I don’t remember. In Harry Potter RPs, I always played a decently well known character, someone who already has an extensive backstory that is canon. We only know the basics when it comes to Orion; what kind of father he was (a shit one), he was Slytherin, very loyal to Voldemort, he’s got an older sister, and he married his second cousin. It’s not easy creating an entire life for a character while still remaining true to them, the rp, and to the HP series, but I love the challenge.

I also love the freedom it gives me as a writer and, to be honest, I’ve never been good at writing/roleplaying what is considered a good character. I’ve always played the bad guy, in different ways, but they’ve always been “bad”. What really made me fall in love with Orion is not the man he is today, but the boy he was before and the one he will be in the future.There is so much more to him than what meets the eye and I just want to tell his story while being apart of it. Even now, as I’m reapplying, and going through the other open characters just because, Orion is the only one I want. He’s my baby, haha.

Description/additional information:

Orion is a man who has always known his place in the world, where he stands and where he will stand. One of those roles is following in his father’s footsteps and making the House of Black proud by carrying on the heavy legacy across his shoulders and, at his insistence, his alone. The other role of his is being the Dark Lord’s loyal attack dog; he will do whatever it takes to make sure his Master wins this war. Orion received the dark mark in his twenties (24 to be exact, is that too early for Voldemort’s timeline? Idk, anyways) and has proved his allegiance time and time again.

He was born in the dark, but has always struggled with living in it. Growing up,  he was conflicted on who he wanted to be and who his family expected him to be. He so desperately wanted to run away from all of the expectations and responsibilities of being Orion Black, but was too afraid to ever do it. So he disobeyed his parents in his own little secretive ways; stealing that third years leather jacket, dating a half-blooded Ravenclaw, becoming friends with kids his parents would’ve never allowed if they knew. Hogwarts was his home away from home, where he could be himself if only a little. After graduating, Orion made the decision to forget whatever silly dreams he may of had (he can’t remember them now) and followed in his father’s footsteps. After all, we all have to grow up sometime. He got a job at the Ministry, married Walburga, and started a family.

By now, Orion is a seasoned killer and struggles with keeping his demons at bay. Sleep eludes him and his paranoia only gets worse as the days go by. All he has ever known is this fight and he can’t imagine what life would be like after the war, nor can he imagine what the world may look like once it ends. After his time as an Aversio prisoner, Orion is trying to picture what Voldemort’s vision will mean for their world after the war and he is having a harder and harder time accepting it, though he has yet to realize this is what he is feeling.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

Orion is a gentleman, but that often confuses him as a romantic which he is indeed not. He’s well-mannered just like any other high society wizard; just like how he was taught from a very young age and that is all. To him, romance, if anything, is just foreplay, the path to get into a woman’s pants.

Now when it comes to sex, Orion loves it. Even at the age of 49, he is like a 16 year old boy who can’t get enough of it. He wants to bang his wife, that young piece of ass sitting at the bar, and the secretary with the short skirts at the Ministry. He expects total submission, but loves a challenge. He gets off on the power struggle and it’s a rush for his ever growing ego.

Orion is male, straight, and uses the pronouns he/him.

Orion/Chemistry

Orion/Walburga

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

-A FEW HEADCANONS

Many believe Orion’s hatred for Sirius is because he willingly left the family and while that is true, it is not the whole truth. Like Sirius at his age, Orion dreamed about running away from the House of Black and creating a life of his own. One where he could make his own mistakes, make his own friends, create his own destiny. It is very clear Orion did not do this. It is very simple: Orion is jealous of his son for being able to do what he could not, though he would never admit it not even to himself.

In his mid 20s, Orion became an alcoholic not long after killing for the first time under Voldemort’s orders; it was a family of wizards, blood traitors. When in public he was able to hide his addiction well, being careful on how much he drank so he wouldn’t over do it especially at work. It helps he can also handle his alcohol very well. In the privacy of his own home, Orion did his best to keep it hidden from Regulus and Sirius, as Walburga already knew of the problem. But under his Death Eater mask, when Orion wasn’t Orion, he did not hold back. Blackouts and violent outbursts were very common when Orion drank enough and because of this he has been hospitalized three times. The last time was after he murdered a muggle family which made headlines in the muggle world. Voldemort gave him an ultimatum and he has been sober ever since. It’s been six years. The only time Orion has ever relapsed is when Sirius ran away.

Orion worked at the Ministry for nearly 30 years in the International Magical Office of Law as well as the International Confederation of Wizards. This position was particularly useful to Voldemort and Orion often used it to spread Death Eater and anti-muggle propaganda, all secretly of course. Before being captured by Aversio, it was well known that Orion was a purist and despised anyone who wasn’t pureblood, but it wasn’t known that he was a Death Eater. He retired in the fall of 1978, at the urging of Voldemort so Orion could fully dedicate himself to the cause.

As a Death Eater, Orion has given his life to the Dark Lord and has worked hard to make his army strong. In his younger days, Orion was one of the Death Eaters who interrogated and tortured their enemies. He was exceptionally good at breaking a persons mind, body and spirit, yet it unknowingly made his drinking worse and helped shape him into the man he is today; angry for no good reason, power hungry, and emotionally detached. These days Orion focuses on battle strategies, training/helping the younger Death Eaters, and completing specific missions from Voldemort himself. Sometimes, he is called upon to interrogate particularly hard cases.

As a student at Hogwarts, Orion focused on his studies to the point of mental and physical exhaustion in order to please his parents. Some days, it took all of his strength to get out of bed. Other days, it took all of his strength to not break down completely. When he wasn’t working on homework or studying, Orion played Quidditch as one of Slytherins beaters and was even team captain in his sixth and seventh years.

Orion escaped Aversio with no help, practically with his bare hands, and is finding it increasingly hard to suppress the resentment and bitterness he feels towards his fellow Death Eaters for leaving him to rot in his cell. They say they searched for him night and day, never giving up, but Orion wasn’t born yesterday and he finds it hard to believe. He has to ask himself; is it his paranoia or the cold, hard truth?

He never wanted to be Minister, not even as a child, but when Voldemort asked him to run Orion had no choice but to say yes. It was merely a show of power and strength after one of his best managed to get captured. Orion was relieved when it was announced he didn’t win, though he can’t help but feel like a disappointment for failing Lord Voldemort.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

Orion would create the strongest, most powerful and universal defensive spell there is. He would be able to hide in plain sight with no fear of discovery or cast the spell on those of his choice to protect them as well. It wouldn’t just hide people though; houses, artifacts, scents, any trail that can be tracked the spell would get rid of it. What is a security spell if another wizard can disarm it? Orion would, of course, include a failsafe. If someone was trying to tamper with the spell Orion would create it so it would backfire on his enemies, which could mean anything. If the spell was protecting important documents (or something like that such as artifacts, etc) it would completely destroy them and also injure the person in question as well, possibly even capture them for interrogation.

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

His mind goes straight to Walden MacNair. Orion knows the man to get things done, to survive at all costs if it came to it, but he doesn’t exactly trust him. Joining Walden in the Forbidden Forest completely alone feels like Orion is slapping a big target on his back and saying “do your worst.” With that in mind, Orion would want Cassius Mulciber to be with him. He knows he wouldn’t have to worry about Cassius’ safety and that the young man would also have his back.

Orion would bring his broom with him for two reasons. One, he’s always wanted to fly around the Forbidden Forest and two, because if all else failed at least he’d be able to get the fuck out of there quickly.

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

Although it doesn’t seem like it, it’s hard for Orion to make decisions for his children, especially when they are hellbent on disobeying him. In the back of his mind, Orion is reminded of how his father directed him down a path that he did not chose himself. The little boy in him wants to see his kids make their own choices, their own mistakes, but for the sake of the Black family he cannot allow that.

The most difficult decisions for Orion to make usually involve his family. This would be a surprise to some, but it wasn’t easy for Orion to disown his first born son, not when he saw so much of himself in Sirius at that age.  

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

The one thing that Orion would never want said about himself is that he is disloyal to Voldemort and that he doesn’t believe in his Master’s beliefs. This is a fear of his, one that has been slowly growing larger over the past few months and taking over the deepest parts of his mind.

WRITING SAMPLE

The wooden door opened with a slow swing, bringing the cold air with. A man stood on the other side; fists clenched, hood up. His robes were soaked all the way through. He couldn’t of walked here, could he- a wizard like him? Two seconds passed and a few patrons noticed the shadowy figure who had yet to enter the building. Another two seconds and he had no choice, but to walk. Any longer and he would have drawn even more unwanted attention.

Mick, the bartender and owner, as always, was incredibly cool as he cleared the bar of used glasses. He didn’t falter or react the same way his customers and one other employee did. It was like he knew the man who was sitting down at his bar already. However, if his suspicions were correct, the man he knew wouldn’t have sat at the bar with his back exposed, but at his normal booth where all exits were visible and every customer was in plain sight.

Then again, it’s been nearly three years; a lot can change a man in that time.

“Your usual, Mr. Black?” Mick asked already turning his back to grab a bottle of rum off the top shelf. Upon hearing the name, the old man three seats down grabbed his dinner and found a table to occupy.

Orion nodded once as he pushed his hood down, “Thanks, Mick…Place looks good.”

“It’s got a few new nails and boards, but it’s still the same Double Barrel.”

Mick placed a napkin down then the glass holding three fingers of rum. He took another good look at Orion -tired eyes, permanent frown, hair falling forward- and wondered what happened to make such a powerful man weak enough to relapse. He walked away, knowing better than to linger when Orion Black looked the way he did…

There was a look in his eyes Orion had never seen before. Not just wild, but dangerous. Very few dared to look at Orion in such a way, fewer made it out uninjured. He should’ve seen it coming. All these years; the posters, the friends, the house- red and gold. Orion should’ve stopped it when he still could, crushed it with his giant fist and rebuild it in his eyes. Just like everything else he didn’t agree with in this world.

But Sirius Black was too far gone; it was in the way he squared his shoulders as Orion towered over him, how he spat ‘fuck you’ like he was speaking freely for the first time, and when he twisted his hands around Orion’s wrists as his father grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

Bloodshot, angry eyes reflected in the black, wet pools of the first born son. Orion could feel his nails digging into the palms of his hands through Sirius’ sweater, pulling his son even closer as he fought to get away.

“Get off of me!”

Orion’s voice was a hissed whisper, barely containing his rage.“You’re just going to leave? Throw all of this away and be like them- a blood traitor?”

Sirius stilled in Orion’s grip, a scowl lined his jaw, “Better them then your son.”

In one fluid movement, Orion released his son and pushed him backwards with purpose. Shove after shove, shout after shout, until Sirius was backed against the front door of Grimmauld Place, nearly tripping over his packed bag before he could pick it up.

Orion stood tall, stoic, and looked down at the young man who was no longer his son.

He felt nothing. The axe had already swung.

“If you leave, you may never come back. You will no longer be a Black, no longer our son, no longer a brother.”

Seconds felt like hours until Sirius finally opened his mouth and-

“Another, Mr. Black?”

Orion blinked -once, twice- and looked up at bartender he hadn’t seen in three years, “What?”

Mick was already pouring the top shelf rum, “Would you like a refill, Mr. Black?”

The only wizard sitting at the bar nodded with bloodshot, no longer angry eyes. He watched as the rum poured down into his glass, the light reflecting it in such a way it was almost beautiful. Watching the amber liquid swirl and pool. It was simple. It was comforting. Orion closed his eyes as he drank the entire contents again, only opening them after he heard Mick fill up his drink a third time.

He raised the glass again, but before he could touch it to his lips Orion caught his reflection in the lukewarm rum. The sight of himself made Orion want to puke. It made him want to scream. To cry. To fight…to run. Run after what he wasn’t sure. Maybe after his first born son.

Maybe Orion wanted to run just to run; just because he could, just because he wanted to.

Instead, he slapped some gold onto the worn oak of the bar, bought the whole damn bottle, and went home long after his world went dark.

[sailor-arashi]

Anime suggestions?

Asking a 42 year old lifelong anime dork for anime suggestions!?

Sorry that it’s taken me a little bit to address this.  In the absence of specifics I decided to provide a recommendation of my old favorites as opposed to new releases.  Of course then I realized I could write entire essays on each of my old favorites as a recommendation and started thinking about how to make a post like that.  Then I decided to provide short recommendations for most of the old favorites and save the hard-sell for a single great freaking show.  This in turn led me to end up re-watching large parts of said show because it’s just that freaking great.   Also, if anyone reading this wants lengthy essays on why I love a certain series, ask away and I’ll write one up if I’m feeling productive one day!

Anyway!

If you’re looking for recently-aired stuff, you can go through my GIF tag to see what I’ve been watching for the past few seasons.  Chances are if I’m making GIFs of something I also recommend watching it.   The only recent show that I’d mention specifically as deserving more attention than it received is Made In Abyss.  It’s a great little show.  It’s also really dark, despite the cutesy character designs, so don’t be fooled.  Also, if body horror is a trigger, stay the fuck away.  The Abyss does bad bad things to people.   Anyway, on to the old stuff ;)

Macross SeriesMacross is my all-time favorite ongoing setting.  It’s one of the great pillars of the Real Robot genre.  It’s stands apart from its peers by focusing more on the human side of conflicts, having an actual nuanced take on the role of the military, and just being very hopeful in general.    There are several separate series that I recommend, thus I am grouping them together.

The Super-Dimension Fortress Macross (1982):  The original.  A true classic of anime.  The animation is terribly dated at this point, but the story still holds up.  Every time I remember that I first watched this within a year or two of it airing, I feel really old.

Do You Remember Love? (1984):  A stunningly-animated movie version of the TV series.  The story is slightly different, but close enough if you don’t want to put in the time to watch the TV series but want a better frame of reference on the sequels.  It’s also one of the most technically impressive hand-animated movies put to film, so it’s worth a look.

Macross Plus (1994):  Four episode OVA series set 30 years after the original.  The focus is on the reunion of three former friends rather than the overarching events of the setting, so it can easily be watched without knowing anything about Macross.  It’s also widely regarded as one of the best OVA series ever made.  It launched the career of Yoko Kanno, among others.

Macross Frontier (2007):  Takes place 47 years after the original on board one of Earth’s many outbound colony fleets.  Like Macross Plus, the cast is original to the series, and the first 8 or so episodes begin with summaries of the history of the Macross setting, so it can be watched without watching the others…though you’ll miss a lot of references and a bit of the story nuance, but not enough to be unenjoyable. 

Moving on from Macross!

Azumanga Daioh (2002):  The original slice-of-life show.   Cute girls doing cute things.  You will cry when they graduate.  Watch it.

Nadia of the Mysterious Seas (1990):  High adventure in the 1800s!  Very very loosely based on 2000 Leagues Under The Sea.  This is the series that put Gainax on the map.  It also has one of my favorite openings ever.

Aim For the Top!  Gunbuster! (1988):  While we’re talking about the glories of 80s-90s Gainax, let’s drop in on Gunbuster.  A surprisingly-deep take on the Super Robot genre, featuring the most hot-blooded female pilots you’ll find anywhere, which is a huge selling point.   If you ever wonder why Evangelion took off so quickly, it’s because it was sold to us as a TV series “by the people who did Gunbuster!”   

Marmalade Boy (1994):  For years this was my ‘warm blanket and dark chocolate’ anime.  Whenever I was feeling down for reasons hormonal or otherwise I’d just start watching randomly from one of the 76 episodes.  It’s just an animated soap opera.  The main character, Miki, is stunned when her parents come back from a vacation and announce that they’re swapping partners with a couple they met in Hawaii.  They all move into the same house together, and Miki meets the other couple’s son Yuu.  Hijinks ensue.  Nearly every episode ends on a cliffhanger or stunning revelation.  It oozes melodrama from every frame of animation.

EDIT:  I just walked out into the living room and told the wife what I was doing and mentioned that I recommended Marmalade Boy.  Her response:  “RUN MIKI!  RUN FROM YOUR PROBLEMS!” and now I can’t stop laughing, because that’s exactly Miki’s response to everything bad that happens to her.

(I appear to be drifting closer to writing essays for them all, I’ll just add a couple more and move on)

Yamato 2199 (2012):  A bit of a cheat, as this is fairly recent, but it’s a direct remake of the original 1970′s series that I watched as a kid…and it’s frankly better than the original.  

Please Save My Earth (1993):  Six-episode OVA series that covers the first half of the manga series by the same name.  A girl named Alice begins having dreams of living in a hidden base on the moon.  She encounters several other people who are dreaming the same thing.  I used to hate one of the characters for what he did.  Then I understood but still couldn’t forgive it.  Finally, now, I think I can forgive him.  It’s a series that makes you feel very strongly, but to explain is to spoil.  One of Yoko Kanno’s first series as a composer.

His and Her Circumstances (1998):   A romance buds between two people who hide their true selves behind a mask of normalcy.  Will they still like each other once those masks are stripped away?  A compelling romantic comedy from Gainax, and also one of the codifiers of the Gainax Ending, so the show kinda goes to shit in the second half, with three recap episodes and the animation devolving into stick figures, but the main plot is resolved long before then and despite all of this it remains a truly incredible series.

Okay, so, now we come to it.  The hard sell.

If there is anything at all in this post that you watch, you absolutely MUST WATCH

GIANT ROBO:  THE ANIMATIONThe Day The Earth Stood Still (1992)

I cannot possibly summarize the plot better than its own intro, so watch this:

The entire show is like that!  Breathless exposition!  Dashing heroics!  Fearful villainy!  And the entire thing done in a retro-60′s design aesthetic as an homage to the original creator of all the characters within, Mitsuteru Yokoyama.  Top it off with a literally operatic soundtrack and you have the recipe for…well…maybe that’s hard to say?  Why am I recommending a series about a kid who controls a giant robotic pharaoh? 

The show looks absolutely ludicrous, and in many ways it is.  The characters are over the top in a very old-school sort of way.  You’ve got your obvious good guys, literally called the EXPERTS OF JUSTICE.  You’ve got your obvious bad guys who constantly pledge themselves to the service of a guy named BIG FIRE.  The heroes protect the new utopia that the world has become with the invention of a perfect power source.  The bad guys seek to destroy that utopia and crush humanity beneath their heel.  It’s all so cut-and-dry.  Even the characterization of some of the villains as “noble monsters” and some of the heroes as “ends justifies the means” loose cannons doesn’t really give it much depth.

At first.

The show very quickly disabuses you of that notion as it delves into what it actually took to carve out a utopian existence from a humanity that is so frequently opposed to any such thing.  It examines the motivations of the villains and finds them valid.  It examines the motivations of the heroes and finds them wanting.  It provides two questions that drive the emotional arc of the story and demands that the characters, and you the viewer, answer them.

Can happiness be achieved without sacrifice?

Can a new era be reached without misfortune?

As the sins of the past rise up to destroy the hope of the future, somehow the giant robot pharaoh stops seeming so ridiculous.  The fact that everything looks like 1960′s guy-in-monster-suit action cinema only serves to contrast the actual depth of the characters and the series as a whole.  To say more is to spoil, so I’ll not go into detailed analysis.  Suffice it to say:  The show looks silly, yet is really quite serious.

It also has one of the best finales of all time.  I watched this series as it was released, and there was a three year wait between episode six and episode seven, and I can honestly say it was worth every second.  Re-watching it just a few hours ago, my cheeks were wet with tears and stretched in a big grin at the same time.  It’s probably the most satisfying end to a series I’ve seen. 

So, there you have it.  A whole bunch of old anime to watch.  (WATCH GIANT ROBO)

If anyone reading this actually watches something based on my recommendation and enjoys it, please let me know.  It’s always great to hear that a recommendation was well-received.

[flightofaqrow]

no more bottles

qrow + Ruby ( @silveredruby​ )

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“Ruby, this isn’t…”

“I know what it isn’t. However I’m not gonna sit here and let you talk like that. It’s not healthy for you and no, that doesn’t mean bottle up all your feelings and don’t talk to anyone either. You can talk to us about how you feel, okay? The second you start making bold statements about how you’re the worst, everything is your fault, so on and so forth? You’re getting a metaphorical spritz bottle in the face. Biting that kind of thinking in the butt right away. Yang and I are here for you.”

“wow, Pipsqueak. all i said was bad influence. what’s all this about being the worst and everything being my fault? maybe you should be tellin’ me how you feel?”

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“Hmmph. If someone was a terrible influence, then I guess I’m a terrible person.”

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“Ruby, this isn’t…”

he lets out the absolute deepest of sighs.

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“I know what it isn’t. However I’m not gonna sit here and let you talk like that. It’s not healthy for you and no, that doesn’t mean bottle up all your feelings and don’t talk to anyone either. I will call Yang and the legion of positivity. I have them on group speed dial and I will use it mister.”

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“…”

qrow is frozen. paralyzed. smushed between so many threats from so many angles he cannot even move. 

what can he even say to that?

this is, however, effectively just bottling it up anyway. perhaps, even, repressing it beneath the sudden flood of affection in his chest. (and a little bit of fear. there is always a little bit when Ruby gets her serious face on. he can never tell what’s coming next at that point.)

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It seemed Qrow was either trapped in his own thoughts about his next strategy, or may have been intimidated by his niece’s game face. Regardless, said young Huntress wasn’t here for that. Nothing would bring a Grimm quicker than self grown negativity.

Ruby continued while looking a bit less threatening. “You can talk to us about how you feel, okay? The second you start making bold statements about how you’re the worst, everything is your fault, so on and so forth? You’re getting a metaphorical spritz bottle in the face. Biting that kind of thinking in the butt right away. Yang and I are here for you.”

A smile came across her face. “Besides, you’re stuck with us for life.”

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“wow, Pipsqueak. all i said was bad influence. what’s all this about being the worst and everything being my fault? maybe you should be tellin’ me how you feel?”

is he being dismissive? absolutely. does it still feel kinda good to laugh at his own insecurities when presented so hyperbolic by his adorable niece instead of sounding too true from his own brain? also absolutely.

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“Uh huh, and I know where that goes! I hear way more than you think I do, Mr. Bad Influence and My Semblance is Bad for Everyone.”

She also knew he was deflecting, but at least his mood improved a little. That in itself was progress. “If we wanna talk about how I feel, I feel you’re way too hard on yourself and need to give yourself a bit more positive credit. It makes me sad when I hear you’re beating yourself up so much and I know I’m not the only one.”

“Now, again this isn’t about me, this is about you.” Ruby continued while pointedly poking him in the chest. Your family loves you, and we’re going to help you get through all this, but no more bottling things up and making yourself out to be the bad guy. There are actual bad guys out there, and you aren’t one of them, okay?”

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“Geez, okay, okay. slow it down, kiddo.” seriously, it’s overwhelming. Ruby always did want to tackle every problem head on and save the world in one fell swoop.

hands raise, defensive, not stopping her, but asking for space. trying not to bottle things up doesn’t mean he can suddenly pour his entire soul out. “I hear what you’re sayin’. …but one thing at a time, alright? this… this isn’t easy.”

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She was about to go through another round of lecturing, but the surrendering body language of her uncle got her to take pause. Ruby briefly looked away for a moment, letting the momentum stop. Perhaps she had been a bit too much.

“Yeah, I know… it’s just…” Her gaze returned back to Qrow. “I don’t want to lose anyone else, or have you just up and disappear. I’m always worried about that.”

Ruby had always been worried about that. Ever since she really understood how dangerous his work was.

“Can you promise me you’ll work on it though? And I won’t be so aggressively on your case? Well I’ll work on that, it’s kind of a force of habit…”

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qrow can breathe again, but at the cost of Ruby looking so very sad. her eyes were always meant to shine, but not like that. not from the shimmering of tears. he wishes he could say he’s never just disappeared, not without telling her and not without coming back, but there’s a time or few he got too caught up in himself or his work. it would be a lie.

one of those many things he’s trying to be better about. but he also knows that kind of loaded statement isn’t just about him.

“Ruby…” hands pull from being out at his sides to hold onto her shoulders, “i’m right here, huh? i’m not gonna disappear that easy, come on now.”

one touch leaves her to run through his hair and scratch at the back of his neck, “i promise. i’ll work on it. i am workin’ on it. talkin’ about not feeling right is the first step, right? lemme,” he sighs, trying to let his chest release all the demons which dwelled there, little by little, “lemme get used to that much to start. then we can worry about …how to change it.”

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Ruby didn’t realize her expression had taken on such a sombre tone. Shifting to a smile, she looked back at Qrow as he spoke. There was an effort being made and she could be happy with that.

“Right… well we won’t let you disappear either.” She reassured. “I’ll hold you to that promise. Talking is good… I get sarcastic deflection every now and then but there’s a time for talking. I’ll work on not jumping on you. I’ll try really hard.”

There had been many vacancies made in her life, and Ruby felt like there wasn’t much of anything she could do, despite some of her best efforts. Her first ones were far out of her hands, but recently they were. They slipped through her fingers, she never felt she was good enough. At least, not yet.

Her eyes began to betray her smile as a single tear fell. Ruby was quick to react, grabbing a corner of her cloak and bringing it to her face.

“Geez, talk about getting stuff in your eye huh?”

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“yeah, yeah. i already promised.” this is about all the calling out he can handle for one night, even if it is from Ruby, and he trusts her best of intentions.

it really is incredible how she can look like the wisest soul in one instant, and then go right back to being in the single digit years and ready to bust out in the waterworks. not that those had been her happiest years…

both qrow’s brow and the corner of his mouth pop up in a smirk, “somethin’ in your eye, huh? here lemme help with that.”

he grabbed the unclaimed parts of her cape’s hem and pulled it around, burying her whole face in it and fluffing-fabric covered hands around her cheeks, eyes, and hair.

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Moods were beginning to settle and the tension was starting to give way. There wasn’t more to say on the subject, they were both going to try and that was that. Ruby had looked away for one second, confused by what Qrow meant by ‘helping’. Unfortunately this was one time where her ability to react quickly was not at the forefront of her mind.

All Ruby saw was darkened red, and felt the onslaught of her uncle messing with her hair in a firm but gentle grip. Everything was muffled chaos as her arms tried to find a weakness in the fabric barriers around her face. Qrow was met with tugging, flailing hands and muffled cries and giggles.

After a minute or so of the playful pranking, Ruby wrestled part of her face free. “Qrow! That’s cheating! Against cloak code rules!”

Her lack of long arms and Qrow’s cloak being tattered and short did not make this an even playing field.

“Well I see someone is feeling a bit better.”

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“hey, i invented the cloak code! i can bend the rules if i want to.”

it dawns on him that he’d gone from incomprehensible sulking to laughing at his niece in less than an hour. Ruby did tend to have that effect on him. Yet she had gone from a burst of sunshine to wiping away tears. he eases up on his ruffling, but leaves his hands on the sides of her sweet face, “i am. thanks, Kiddo. but what about you, huh? sounded like you maybe had more on your mind.”

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“And you keep saying you aren’t that old.” She sassed, sticking out her tongue at him followed with a smile. Ruby was now free from her fabric prison, but Qrow still had a gentle hold of her.

“I mean… when don’t I have something on my mind? Honestly I’ve kind of forgotten the initial thought. Just… too much in a short time. I almost miss worrying about the stupid cliche stuff. You know the ones movies tend to exaggerate in all those high school drama’s and terribly written romance movies? Never thought I’d say that.”

Those movies were never watched because they were good. Ruby and Yang dared each other to watch those awful pieces of film and see how long the other could last. Truly she missed those days.

“I’m getting by as much as a teenager can.” Concluded the girl with a stiffened nod, realizing she couldn’t do that too well. “… are you gonna give me my face back?”

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playful glee pinches red eyes into a daring glint in return taunt to Ruby’s tongue, “don’t have to be old to be an authority.”

his niece looks almost like a little chipmunk, spilling thoughts she’d been holding in under puffed up, scrunched up cheeks, releasing as he squeezes. he remembers having that exact conversation with one of his own mentors once upon a time. ‘it’s all one big mess, ain’t it? …things used t’be so much simpler.’

“yeah, kiddo. i do know,” a scratched mumble of understanding tumbles from tight lips as he releases her upon request. he wishes he could give more than just her face back. he wishes he could have bought her more time before her whole life became not only more complex, but immediately came crashing down around them. literally, in the case of beacon.

he can feel his frown, his eyes, his mouth, his mind sinking, down, down, down into and past the floor, right back into familiar spirals. he can’t allow it, he won’t, not after Ruby worked so hard to uplift him. the best he knows to wrestle something he can’t drown with a bottle is to throw it into a task, “…anythin’ i can do to buy ya some good ol’ quiet comic time?”

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“Buy an eighth day of the week? Don’t tell anyone about it?”

A wistful need veiled in a joke. If this ever ended, Ruby was going to do her best to not complain about anything ever again. Perhaps yelling at appliances that didn’t want to would would be an exception.

“Really though…” She pondered a moment, deciding on something simple. “I can’t remember the last time we had a sit down with burgers and fries. No idea where to get that in Mistral though.”

It was time to enjoy those simple things while they all could. The small breaks in trying to save the world. No one knew what they were doing either. It was a secret to be kept, and only to be given to the most trusted. Figuring out who to trust was dangerous.

Not something fit to be in the hands of someone so young.

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qrow chuckles light once more, “can’t say oz gave me any time magic t’promise somethin’ like that.” hands tuck into pockets, willing to dig up whatever he could to try. though, checking that his wallet still sat in place there and ruffling fingers discreetly through to make sure he had some cash on hand made for the extent of the list.

“now burgers, i can handle.” maybe. to Ruby’s standards, anyway. sometimes the simplest things became easier for bad luck to screw up. let his be the burnt patty or soggy fries, if it must. let her have this.

he’ll try. he’ll keep trying. if only to see her smile through all the responsibility he never could save her from.

“and i know a place we can sneak out to. just you and me. if we’re quick about it…”

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(part 2, basically)

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Is she judging the thighs? The self deprecation? Potential skirt wearing? Who knows? Only she does. One thing for sure though, she did in fact forget breakfast this morning.

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“don’t give me that face. it’s called learnin’ to laugh at my insecurities!”

he’s still trying. unlearning a lifetime of self-talk is hard, Ruby.

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Ruby gave him a stern look, complete with a long ‘hmm’ before relaxing her expression. Qrow was trying, and she couldn’t invalidate the effort. After all she did promise to not be so… aggressive.

“Alright, you get a pass this time. If you haven’t denounced any compliments today.”

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if Ruby weren’t a huntress, qrow wonders if she could be a therapist. she’s sure got some behavioral conditioning down pat. he hasn’t been this wrapped around her finger since she was four and learned what the word scythe meant.

“haven’t gotten any. tell you what, kiddo. why don’t you toss one my way? for practice.”

go easy on him, fam. or he might just fall apart instead of shoot it down.

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For practice huh? Ruby could do that. Granted she couldn’t be sure if Qrow was being entirely truthful, but her uncle was also never in a position of lying to her either. If he did it was always some alternative truth. Regardless, she was given an excuse to make her uncle happy.

Not overdoing it was the difficult part. Ruby could go on hour long tangents if people let her. “Well, you’re looking brighter than normal. A bit better rested and some of the gloom has gone away a bit. Maybe it’s the new vest, mister-fancy-filigree-pattern.”

A bit of cheeky humor always made things easier to digest.

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ugh. she hardly even has to say anything when she looks at him with the eyes. the adoring eyes. maintaining eye contact becomes test one already. why does this feel like he’s been transported to finals week at beacon?

he preens somewhat, smoothing down the sleeves she comments on, “yeah, well, it’s atlas. the stylists insisted on a little bit ‘a fancy. helps the image, i guess.”

oh no, that was deflection, wasn’t it? the truth, but still the wrong answer. he can see it already in the threatening scrunch of Ruby’s nose. get up, dust off, try again. it’s what being a joke has taught him in life.

“but, uh. thanks. i think i pull it off pretty alright. an’ i have been sleepin’ better. it helps.”

[brawltogethernow]

I finally saw live action Beauty and the Beast, and for the record here are some of the impressions I took away from it:

- The Enchantress responsible for the premise is present as an actual character outside of flashbacks in this version, and her role makes no sense. She apparently moved into the town next to the castle after she cursed everybody to keep an eye on things, in the form of a Hollywood-homely woman of no status. Like I get that at the beginning she takes the form of somebody jerks might deride as a test of morals, but this was for ten years she spent just letting Gaston insult her to her face, so I can only assume it’s a kink of some kind. She’s also actively lifts the curse after personally observing that the conditions have been met, which raises so many questions.

- She waits until the last goddamn second too, after all the staff have been tragically rendered inanimate, even though the conditions to break the curse were met before that while she was already there. Wow.

- She still transformed and endangered the lives of the castle’s entire staff WHO DID NOTHING WRONG, which they rationalize to themselves by saying they should have done more to make their prince be less of a dick. But hey everybody knows that when somebody else is a jerk that’s your responsibility, so it’s fine. The Enchantress just walks away looking ethereal and smug at the end and I get the impression we’re not supposed to hate her? Too late. She’s definitely a chaotic neutral fairy with blue/orange morality AT BEST.

- Not only is the queer stuff in the film not acknowledging that the clock and the candle are an old gay couple, a wife is invented for the candle specifically to dispel this impression. She’s literally a bird though, so now you’ve just made one of your talking furniture characters a furry. As if this story didn’t have that overtone enough.

- Casting actually didn’t populate the fantasy-France setting exclusively with white people! It’s cool!

- Gaston has some kind of amazing inverted PTSD where thinking about his time in “the war” makes him feel better.

- Speaking of The War, this movie, instead of being set generically in no time period like the cartoon, deliberately anchors itself to a time period, but that time period is actually like ten time periods at once? Everyone wears tricorne hats, there was a plague a decade ago, and The War. There’s the famous waltz scene but in other scenes people dance the minuet. It’s confusing.

- I’ve seen people criticize this movie describing LeFou as pining for Gaston, introducing pointless unrequited gay angst, but I don’t get that impression at all? He’s definitely camp, but there’s nothing overt to suggest he’s got a doomed thing for his...friend? Boss? Bossfriend.

- Conversely, it’s film canon that Gaston bit LeFou on the stomach “wrestling”.

- HWHAT THE FUCK.

- Josh Gad says “bites” in “in a wrestling match nobody bite like Gaston” as fruitily as humanly possible, was this implication on purpose??

- I don’t.

- Anyway.

- LeFou and Mrs. Potts team up to spew boiling water on angry villagers at one point. It’s the best thing ever. BROTP.

- Gaston Disney-dies by falling off a high parapet but then he’s fine, boo. Embrace your brand, Disney.

- Shortly before this Gaston just fucking rips a piece of stonework off the roof of the castle with his bare hands? What the hell? Was the castle also made of candy the whole time and it was just never brought up because it wasn’t plot relevant?

- Gaston has the magical ability to reload his old-fashioned pistol immediately instead of taking two minutes per bullet.

- Belle doesn’t get any sheep to explain the plot of her favorite book to. She just does that whole line including “you’ll see” to thin air while walking through the village.

- The line about her always having her nose in a book and a far-off look is sung directly when she’s talking to someone on the street, I think she’s giving the Enchantress-in-disguise alms or something. This could have been contradictory on purpose to show the prejudice of the villagers but if so it’s pretty weak, like the implication is that this Belle isn’t daydreaming and bookish.

- Positive Belle things: She invents the washing machine? This is the good shit. Maurice is a ditzy toymaker instead of a mad inventor in this version, but Belle is apparently an inventor instead, and that’s the best. Smart little girls everywhere are going to take the scene where she rigs up a way to deal with her chores to heart.

- Other wholesome Belle things: The scene where she sees the castle library for the first time is so real, she does a little happy dance and is plainly completely enamored with this room.

- Instead of being toxic masculinity brought to life and given free will, Gaston just seems kind of crazy and falls apart slowly like a half-off Shakespeare character.

- Belle’s taste in books is specifically narrowed down to being Shakespeare, which is a shame because in the cartoon she’s clearly reading romance novels.

- The songs from the original don’t mesh up perfectly with changed events, especially like, in terms of emotional coherence.

- There’s also a clear quality difference between songs from the animated film and the other songs.

- The movie overall seems incredibly slow, yet the romance feels rushed. It never at any point convinced me it was happening for any reason beside that it had to for the plot. I finished the film and still barely feel like Belle and the Beast are more than book-bonded friends.

- At one point the beast is like ‘If you want an escape without leaving the castle, let me show you something in the library,’ and I was like ‘HURR DURR DURR, THEY’RE GOING TO ESCAPE INTO THE WORLD OF READING #LibraryPSA’, but then they ACTUALLY DID. There’s a magic book that can teleport you literally anywhere for basically no reason that is used pretty well to help Belle let go of being too hung up on her idealized impression of her childhood to move on with her life, and is then never brought up again.

- I thought at first it was some sort of illusion but no, it literally just has teleportation abilities. This also means that Belle’s old house has been untouched for ten years for some reason. I know there was “plague”, but...ten years.

- TIL that if you slow down “Be Our Guest” because I guess you really want to milk it because it’s everybody’s favorite song it’s basically “Cabaret”.

- Seriously! Every scene! In this movie! Was so slow! Find some energy!!

- After the curse is broken do they get to keep the teleportation book Y/N?

- Did the rest of the people in the castle ever use it? Did Adam even tell them about it? If I was cursed into animate silverware it would pick me up EXTREMELY if I could get a change of scenery by popping over to Cairo or the rainforest or just the theater for an afternoon. There are multiple people in this version with canonical spouses who have forgotten them outside the castle who they could have been checking on.

- I’d rate the cinematography a solid meh but the castle set was good.

- There’s a joke where LeFou says 'je ne sais quoi’ and his friendboss doesn’t know what that means, and I honestly have no idea whether it was intentional or not.

- I found all of the furniture people terrifying-looking, but that could just be me.

- Having Sir Ian McKellan in your movie and not having him be instantly charming is a FEAT, but this film did it somehow.

[eachpage]

Alternative names: The World’s Greatest First Love: The Case of Ritsu Onodera (世界一初恋 〜小野寺律の場合〜, Sekai-Ichi Hatsukoi: Onodera Ritsu no Baai)

Author: Shungiku Nakamura

Official site: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi

If you are here, I am going to assume that you know about Sekaiichi and Junjou Romantica because I know that not everyone watches these animes or reads the Manga. Today is about the Manga and a little bit about the Anime, a bit of a comparison might be seen farther ahead.

Yosh! Let’s do this.

I read the Manga (still waiting on updates) long after I saw all seasons that have aired, and though I thought that the Anime was a pretty good one, and the adaption was amazing, my eyes were opened when I read the Manga because wow! The anime is incredibly subdued and censored in comparison; like if you have not read the Manga I suggest that you head right over and know what really goes on between Ritsu and Takano, especially when they met, I loved those scenes and of course, there a couple of the new chapters that are amazing, my favourites moments are definitely there.

But as usual with this author, the secondary stories take the prize because the romance between Shouta and Yukina is the best, my absolute fav of all, and I love Nowaki and Hiroki from Junjo Romantica but these other two, are something else entirely.

Is not the age difference, which is huge, is not that Shouta has some of the best lines and he was spreading like the world was coming to an end before he met Yukina, and it does have to do with how beautifully drawn Yukina is, but their chemistry and scenes are just too cool, I love it all.

The third couple we see less and less of, I don’t why though, they have their cool moments too. Don’t get me wrong, Rii-chan and Takano are one of my favourite characters of all times, but what makes Sekaiichi so awesome is that all the stories have something to latch on. If you think you like JR than you are in for a treat with this one, then again, if you have watched both Anime than you are quite aware of what I’m talking about, and if you have not read the Manga, I recommend that you do.

If I could find it in my country, I would buy the physical copies because I love supporting authors (being one myself) so I know what it is like to pour your heart and soul into a story.

I got carried away there, I was talking about Chiaki and Hatori, which have their good moments but what is best about their story isn’t even them but Yanase, I want to see more of him each time. And of Ijuun-sensei, who is seen more in JR.

I’ve been throwing names around like you know, and I guess that you do.

Main Characters and Stories

I’m doing this backwards, I know.

Ritsu Onodera & Masamune Takano

Kou Yukina & Shouta Kisa

Chiaki Yoshino & Yoshiyuki Hatori

Yuu Yanase

Takafumi Yokozawa

Zen Kirishima

The one with Yokozawa and Kirishima is my least favourite, but Kirishima is one handsome dude so that makes it all better.

I’m pretty talked out, after rambling for a few times, my point would be this: Read it! Do not let yourself stay stuck with the Anime because there is so much more than what they show their, and not just the love scenes, as a whole, you understand a lot more reading, I suppose that’s true with all adaptations. Books to Movies. Books to TV Shows (like The Vampire Diaries, ugh!), anyway, I recommend this one 100% and if you know something about my blog then you know that’s all it is about. My favourites.

That’s really it, I hope you enjoyed and stayed to the end, and if you have any thoughts, a sharing mood or simply want to chat, social media and social distancing in these trying times is what the Internet was invented for (mostly).

Happy reading and stay safe, readers!

  Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi: Manga and Anime Alternative names: The World's Greatest First Love: The Case of Ritsu Onodera (世界一初恋 〜小野寺律の場合〜, Sekai-Ichi Hatsukoi: Onodera Ritsu no Baai)

[anhed-nia]

3/9/17: LADY IN THE WATER...

I’ve been sitting on this review for a long time now, and it’s a little difficult for me to explain why. LADY IN THE WATER is one of the all time worst professionally produced films I’ve ever even heard of, from a director about whom ridicule has become a beloved international pastime. This should see me running-not-walking to fire off my latest round of self-important vitriol at this broad-side-of-a-barn target, and yet, here I am three months later with seemingly nothing to say. The truth is, as far as I’m able to articulate it, that this movie just makes me feel terrible.

To be a little fairer to myself, one of the major problems is that I have a very hard time retaining what even happens in M. Night Shyamalan’s lifeless, unmagical “bedtime story” (as per an especially self-satisfied tagline). In fact, I think I watched it three times and change just to see if there was something stimulating that I had just blinked and missed. I failed to find any such inspiration, but I’ll do my best to map it all out. Paul Giamatti plays the stammering super of a rural Pennsylvanian apartment complex that houses a “colorful cast of characters”, including:

- Out of work film critic Bob Balaban (WHY); - Just some lady Marybeth Hurt (it’s the PARENTS reunion you never wanted!); - A gang of irritating stoners who are so unlikely (Jared Harris?) that I couldn’t help assuming Shyamalan is so uncool that no one would ever consider offering him drugs; - A multigenerational household full of loud tacky Korean women, the direction of whom has a bit of a “one of my best friends is Korean, they’re just like this!” vibe to it; - Freddy Rodriguez with just one gigantically muscular arm for no discernible reason other than pissing me off; - …worst of all, worse than in my wildest dreams, M. Night himself as a frustrated but promising young writer about whom the less said the better, but I’m going to have to get to it eventually whether I like it or not.

There are also a bunch of other people too, but as you’ll see, NONE of these people matter all that much as individuals, contributing substantially to my LADY aphasia. Anyway, what happens is that one strange night, Paul Giamatti extracts from his pool sylphy Bryce Dallas Howard, who magically cures his stammer (that he only had for like 5 minutes before this happens)(and it was mainly in a scene where a big spider is scaring everyone so it didn’t really read as a speech impediment)(but WHATEVER). You find out quickly that Bryce is a water sprite, and she can’t return home because there’s an evil wolf made out of lawn waiting to kill her, but there’s like an ancient prophecy or something that that can save her if Paul can figure out how it applies to his life—specifically, he has to identify among his tenants “a Symbolist, Guardian, Guild, and Healer”. Let me be very clear about how this happens: There is no cursed treasure or forbidden scroll or heavenly vision or anything that imparts this information in a fantastical OR CINEMATIC way. All there is, is Bryce is magically prevented from speaking explicitly about this stuff, so the group devises an annoying yes/no guessing game to get information out of her, even though it turns out she doesn’t know very much about this shit to begin with. Therefore, the various mythical mantles are applied totally arbitrarily and unceremoniously to various randos in the building, and then when the secret ritual doesn’t work THAT way, they reshuffle the deck pretty arbitrarily again, and THEN the mystical giant eagle comes and makes a lot of embarrassing cat noises and helps Bryce go home. Also there’s something I never managed to focus on about how the mythical world of magical creatures is normally held in check by monkeys who were born so evil that they killed their own parents right out the womb. It’s not clear to me why such anarchically evil monsters would be interested in enforcing laws or preserving taboos, we’re just supposed to accept that they do, and like, for now something is wrong about them so the grass wolf is on the loose and everything. It’s so fucking stupid.

I hope that at this point, it’s pretty clear why this dreary vaguery of a film failed to capture my imagination. It still should have invited my sadism a little more readily. A bunch of pretty disgusting shit happens in between the meaningless plot points described above. The film insists on trying to kindle an icky paternalistic romance between Paul Giamatti and the often-nude nymphette that he frequently finds in his arms, awake or asleep. Of course, he needs a little depth to make this “work”, so Bryce Dallas Howard rudely reads his secret diary to him out loud, as if he doesn’t know what’s in it, to reveal to us that he used to be a brilliant doctor until his family was killed and then he got sad. The Korean caricatures are the ones who impart to us the nature of Bryce Dallas Howard’s character, through the pointlessly drawn out recitation of a completely nonsensical folk tale with all kinds of reeeeally toooootally Korean-sounding words in it like “narf” and “scrunt”. Meanwhile, Bob Balaban only exists for the director to take out his pent up rage against the army of film critics who have been nobly shitting all over his movies for the duration of his career, in an assortment of spirit-crushing comic relief scenes leading up to a dull and predictable death. As if this weren’t enough moral signaling, Shyamalan inserts himself into this tale in a fashion that will astonish even the most hardbitten cynic. I guess it’s time to talk about it.

I wish I had a way of recording here how long I sat at the keyboard trying to formulate this. The director has cast himself as a brilliant young man who, in the face of criticism and rejection and ignorance, is collecting in a tome called “The Cookbook” (?) his revolutionary ideas about changing the world. And, as Bryce Dallas Howard informs him, he WILL change the world. He is the central character in his own prophecy, in which he delivers unto humanity his life-altering wisdom, which are so profoundly rattling that he will be martyred for them. When I first saw this movie, and it first became clear what is happening with this character, my heart sank. Instead of the usual convulsion of derisive laughter, or the salient whetting of my predatory appetite, I just felt awful. Where before, I had joined the rest of the world in regarding Shyamalan as a modern, much less likable but no less hilarious Ed Wood, I suddenly felt that I was witnessing some real deal Emperor’s New Clothes shit. Narcissism and persecution complexes aren’t exactly a new invention, but usually, people live enough life to know that they shouldn’t go around saying EXACTLY what they think of themselves; on the rare occasion that someone does, their very behavior usually ensures that they don’t gain an audience wide enough for it to cause a real personal catastrophe. This was really grim. I couldn’t believe that this man was calling himself Jesus Christ with a typewriter, out loud, in front of me. Isn’t there anyone who cares about what happens to him, who would protect him from himself? Isn’t there anybody in his life who loves him enough to have been guiding him, all along really, not to build himself such a ferocious trap and walk right into it deliberately? What the fuck happened here? How is this real?

Basically, the whole movie is a real “who hurt you” moment, with chest-pounding declarations of relevance existing alongside a bizarre and persistent disconnect with reality. The story is bad, the effects are bad, the characters are ugly and insulting, and the world in which it takes place—the “real” human world, not even the “Blue World” of the narf and the scrunt—just doesn’t seem to make any sense. The setting itself, which looks much more like a Southern Californian or even Southeast Asian environment than the gritty Northeastern American location that it really actually is, doesn’t seem to gel. It’s hard to understand how any of these disparate people, who you see in a single eyeful during a huge party that’s the centerpiece of the film, have come to roost here. We not only mix feckless burnouts with (THREE) professional authors, but somehow there is also an entire spandex-clad glam band with amp stacks and everything that they keep god knows where. The aforementioned party brings a curious thing to light, too, that’s just a drop in the bucket of this awfulness, and yet it is emblematic of the film’s basic nature. The band is featured playing exactly one bar of a rockin’ version of “Maggie’s Farm”. At first I thought, “Well, that’s probably affordable”, but then I began to realize that Bob Dylan covers seem to flow insistently throughout the whole movie. The ending credits threaten to never end, as an infuriatingly slow version of “Times They Are A-Changin’” smolders but refuses to be extinguished, with such languor that it’s hard not to shout through the screen at the singer to SPIT IT THE FUCK OUT ALREADY, THEY ARE “A-CHANGING”, WE KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO SAY. There may be some connection to make between the film’s obsession with prophecies, and Dylan’s identity as something of a modern prophet himself, but the whole thing just gives one the sense of a mid-mid-life crisis dad who has suddenly rediscovered the Beatles, whose regular guests start to dread every visit’s inevitable, multiple, embarrassingly serious playthroughs of Sergeant Pepper’s . If you know what I’m saying. I’m not sure what I’m saying. All I can say really conclusively is that none of this makes any sense to me, and I’m a little surprised that this shockingly narcissistic movie isn’t more notorious, and I’m a lot surprised that this shockingly narcissistic director was allowed to make another movie after this. Which I suppose I’ll have to deal with as soon as it comes out in a more hatewatchable format than the theaters to which it was confoundingly distributed. See you then, if I ever manage to live through this.

Hey here’s a picture of an Olympic figure skater at the premier, that’s weird.