#I MISS HER EVERY DAY UNTIL WE GET A NEW EPISODE

[faultyvessel]

So due to her being both Tumblr trash and also “hey Gwen time isn’t real” I couldn’t help but HCing Alice having listened to at least a l i t t l e WTNV at some point.

Then my bestie @like-the-2ides suggested that she chose her name from Alice Isn’t Dead because, and I quote, “Shes so tumblr core and I could see her liking a podcast about a truck driving lesbian on search for her missing wife in an apocalyptic hellscape”. And I thought that was so fun.

[jakesduskwood]

even statues crumble if they're made to wait

Pairing: Jake x Fem!MC

Genre: Post-Episode 10 Duskwood, Post-Episode 1 Moonvale

Words: 8,916

Summary: It's been three months since the explosion in the mine. Three months since Hannah was found. And MC's accepted that Jake is never coming back. When she gets roped into another missing person's case, it makes for the perfect distraction. Jake is dead. It's fine. That is, until she finds herself on the phone with Alan Bloomgate who says he has something to show her. But it's fine. Jake is dead.

Until he's not.

EPISODE-1 MOONVALE SPOILERS AHEAD (MAYBE)!

[ A/N: Hello! :)

I know it's been a while since I've done this, but I finished Moonvale Episode 1 and if you've seen the ending (and used its Duskwood code), you know what happened and how excited I was to receive that bit of Duskwood. So, I took it and ran with it, and out came this extremely long fic. I did not proofread this as it took me literally almost 12 hours to write so it is completely and 100% me and my love for Jake and I hope you love it.

Side note: I suck with anything related to timelines, so I made one up on my own. I know Episode 1 of Moonvale takes place over the course of a day or two, but for the purpose of this fic, it made sense to make it longer, so it's not a typo, or me losing my mind, it's just the way my brain processed this.

Enjoy! :) ]

It’s been three months since the explosion in the mine.

Three months since Richy had been killed. Three months since Hannah was rescued. Three months since I had last spoken to Thomas or Cleo or Lilly or…or Jessy. I didn’t blame her then and I don’t blame her now. Any of them, really. I didn’t share the bond they had with each other. I wasn’t from Duskwood. It didn’t matter that we’d experienced a tragedy together—and yes, perhaps them more than me, but I loved Richy too. I had lost Richy too. And Jake—

But mostly, I think they just wanted to forget. To move on. They didn’t want to remember that their friend had been capable of…of that. And I was a constant reminder of that to them. So I understood why we didn’t necessarily talk anymore.

The one person I did keep in contact with from Duskwood, oddly enough, other than the occasional update from Alan Bloomgate, was Dan. We weren’t best friends or anything, but he allowed me to check in on our friends in a way that I didn’t know how to do with anyone else. Maybe because I thought he was the least affected among them. I knew he cared about Hannah, but he wasn’t to her what Thomas or Cleo or Lilly were. And he wasn’t to Richy what Jessy had been.

I’d learned from him that Thomas and Hannah had broken up. There was no bad blood, but Thomas hadn’t quite figured out how to accept the things he’d learned about his girlfriend when she’d been gone, and Hannah hadn’t quite figured out how to re-trust someone after Richy. Even if that person was Thomas. But I’d hoped they would find their way back to each other in the end.

I thought about reaching out to Jessy every once in a while—even just as an apology for everything that had happened. I’m sorry that Hannah was found at the expense of Richy. I’m sorry that he did this to you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner. We should have. We should have. We should have. I miss you. But I never send it. I’m not all that sure she’d respond anyway.

Cleo and I were never all that close. She has her best friend back, so I think she’s probably as okay as she can be. Helping Hannah find a new kind of normal in a time where her childhood friend had kidnapped her in order to prove a point. I don’t know how you come back from that—I don’t know how you come back from knowing that you killed somebody at all.

I hadn’t found the courage to ask if somebody had told Hannah about Jake.

Not that I think it would matter anyway. I hadn’t heard from him since before the explosion in the mine, which was, like I said—three months ago. I waited the appropriate amount of time—twenty-five days—before I broke down and concluded that maybe he hadn’t survived. Which just piled a shit-ton of guilt onto my shoulders because it was supposed to be me in that mine. He had gone in place of me and now he was dead.

It was the only explanation that made sense. I was used to Jake disappearing for days at a time, but never as long as he had been now. And he didn’t seem like the type to tell me he loved me and then leave without a single explanation. Not unless he had to. But it had been three months and as much as I missed him, as much as my chest ached with the thought that we would never eat Chinese food out of shitty motels and have that on-the-run ending we talked about, I had accepted that he wasn’t coming back.

I wonder if he had known about Richy or if he had died still thinking Michael Hanson was the one who had kidnapped Hannah. I wonder if his last thoughts were of me. Maybe it’s selfish, but I kind of hope they were, because I’m pretty sure I’ll think about him for the rest of my life.

I wonder what it would have felt like to run my hands through his hair. To kiss him. To spend every waking moment with him and know it was because I loved him. Because I would have. Talking to Jake became about more than just finding Hannah. It became a part of my day I looked forward to more than anything else. He confided in me in a way that told me he never had with anyone, maybe not even Hannah, and I needed that from somebody. I needed somebody to trust in me the way that Jake did. I needed somebody to love me the way that Jake did.

It was strange—and maybe a little ironic—the thought that something so beautiful could come out of something so tragic.

Anyway, my point is: it’s been a long couple of months. Of thinking about my friends. Of thinking about Jake. Of wondering if I should have done things differently. I should have gone to Duskwood to help. Not even with the mine, but sooner. I could have. I could’ve gone when Jessy was attacked on the way home. I could’ve gone when the group made plans to cut out of town and hide away in the house Richy had found. Selfishly, I should have. In that moment, when they were settled around the fire and Lilly called me, I had never remembered wanting anything more. I should have grabbed Jake—metaphorically, maybe even literally—and rode it out with them to the end.

I don’t stop missing them after three months. Of wishing things could have been different. Wishing I could have done more. But exactly ninety-five days after the explosion in the mine, seventy days since I had accepted that Jake was never coming back, twenty-two days since I had last heard from anybody from Duskwood (Dan included), my phone dings with a new message.

And the cycle starts all over again.

It’s somebody named Eric, who claims he needs my help to find his friend Adam, who disappeared while he was waiting for a ride in someplace called Redlog Pines. And much like with Duskwood, I have never heard of Redlog, and the case reminds me way too much of Thomas’ first message to me, so much that it makes my chest ache, but I can’t say no because there’s somebody missing, and if I’d say no the first time, God knows where Hannah would be.

So, I say yes, and I help out where I can, and Eric decides he needs to bring about four more friends in on his little plan and I try my best to stay emotionally unattached because I remember everything that happened the last time and I can’t go through that again. I offer up information when I can and keep my words short and careful because I’m not ready to get attached to somebody else I know I might never meet.

I know how this ends.

Two days in, Ash, one of Eric’s friends, brings up my Duskwood past and the unhealed wound I’ve been trying to mend breaks open again. She asks about Richy, and about the mine, and then because I’m me and I can’t help myself, I tell her about Jake. She tells me the news never mentioned another body and I shove that thought to the back of my head because hoping for something that will never come true will kill me.

Four days into Adam’s disappearance, and the police not giving a shit—as Charlie, somebody who reminds me far too much of Richy for comfort, points out—my phone beeps with an incoming call from somebody I haven’t spoken to in a while.

“Go for [MC].” I answer my phone.

Ever since Hannah had been found in the mine and Jake had…you know, my phone had been more silent than I’d gotten used to. Until this new case. But even that—it was only a few days old and I didn’t want to go down the same path with them that I did with my friends in Duskwood. We didn’t really know each other that long, sure—even though sometimes it’d felt like it—but it felt like I’d finally been a part of something. Like, I had found these people who had chosen me for me.

And originally, maybe they had. Maybe they’d had every intention of keeping me around, but then Richy was the Man Without A Face and Alan Bloomgate had rescued Hannah and nothing was the same as it had been when we’d met each other. We knew too many secrets about each other by the time the town settled. Secrets we would have to take to the grave.

Or maybe I’m losing my mind a bit and I had really only been a means to an end.

Either way.

“Alan?” I raise my voice when there’s nothing but breathing on the other end of the line. “Did you mean to call me?”

His tone is clipped. “I found something.”

“You found something.” I repeat.

My heart clenches. For all I know, it might fall into my stomach. As far I know, from watching the news, from what Ash told me, Jake’s body was never found. Richy’s was. Or what was left of him to find, anyway. I had assumed that there just hadn’t been enough of Jake left. The thought left me nauseous, but it was better than hoping for something I knew I could never have.

“I’m sending it to your phone now.” He responds. “Let me know what you think of this.”

And then he hangs up.

That was a riveting conversation, I think as my phone dings with a message. I do my best to ignore my other messages—contacts from Duskwood I’m still not ready to acknowledge—and click Alan Bloomgate. He sent me a video that looks like—oh God.

Immediately, I’m overcome with emotion as an all-too-familiar forest pops up on my phone. It’s a video of Alan’s bodycam footage. He’s searching the Duskwood forest. A forest I’ve seen too many times in the background of other video calls.

I watch as he stumbles upon an object that’s too dark to make out at first. When he gets closer, it’s clear that it’s a backpack. It’s simple. Black. Nothing about it that screams this is mine and I left it here about anybody in particular. You stupid, stupid idiot, I tell my heart when it rattles against my chest in hope. He’s dead.

Alan stands and treks away from the backpack—I want to scream at him to go back, to open it and look through it and tell me if it’s what my heart aches to believe, but I can’t, because this is a video and I’m simply watching with wide eyes, waiting for…for something. But then. But then, he moves further into the forest and I watch as he stumbles upon an object that makes my knees tremble and tears rush to my eyes and my hands shake. A black hoodie. It looks like it’s been through hell, with holes scattered up the sleeves and dirt cakes into the hood, but it’s unmistakably his.

And then—Alan lifts the hood and picks up something that makes me sink to my knees with a sob that wracks my entire frame. Because I’m staring at Jake’s mask. The mask he doesn’t go anywhere without. The mask that protects him. And so my relief is short-lived, because I realize that even if he’s alive—which seems like a very big possibility at this point—he’s alive without the things that he needs to survive.

And then the anger kicks in. Because if he’s been alive, on his own, for three months—why has he not contacted me? Unless he survived the mine but he didn’t survive the after. But that didn’t make any sense. So, okay, he wasn’t dead. But that didn’t make any sense either. He told me he wouldn’t let them catch him. Because catching that meant he would be apart from me. Did something happen that prevented him from being able to reach out and tell me he was at least okay? A quick text that said didn’t die in the explosion in the mine, you don’t need to mourn me, by the way, going off radar for another year. Did he think I would have given up on him?

I wipe my eyes and shoot a message to Alan.

ME: Recently?? Did nobody search the forests before?      

ALAN: Searched the forests for what, [MC]? The logical assumption seemed to be that if anybody was inside the mine when Richy set the fire, they would have perished alongside him. Officers were stationed outside every known entrance and exit. Besides, after the story you and your friends spun around this town, do you think anybody would have gone back into its forests?

ME: But it’s possible?

ALAN: I would say these items had been there for some time. But I would say it is likely he ditched them when he fled the mine, yes.

Another sob tears through my throat. Jake is alive. I don’t know quite what that means for us as of now, but I know it’s the best news I’ve heard since Hannah was found. Jake is alive. He’s out there somewhere. And even if it’s been three months, and even if I’m a little bit mad at him right now, I know that if he was here, I would throw my arms around his neck and hold on to him until someone dragged me off, and even then—I would fight kicking and screaming.

I close out of my messages with Alan and pull up a conversation I haven’t had the heart to look at in quite some time.

ME: Jake’s alive.

LILLY: …

LILLY: Have you spoken to him?

ME: Alan called. He found some of Jake’s things in Duskwood. I don’t know a lot of details. But I know he made it out of the mine.

Lilly types for a long while, but she doesn’t respond. I don’t take it personally. I think it’s probably hard for her to be happy that her brother’s okay while also trying to accept that her sister may never be okay again. Her sister, who had once-upon-a-time been kind-of-sort-of in love with their brother she didn’t know she had. I think that would probably mess with any family’s heads. And on top of all that, you throw in manslaughter and a kidnapping. I wouldn’t wish anybody, not even my worst enemy, to have had to go through what the Donforts had.

When it becomes adamant that Lilly isn’t going to respond, I start scrolling through messages with the rest of the group in Duskwood. I click on Jessy. I’m here if you need me. That had been the last thing I sent to her, a couple of days after Richy’s death. She hadn’t responded. I click out of Jessy’s contact and click on Thomas’ instead. Thank you for everything. That had been his last message to me after we found Hannah. I’d liked it. I hadn’t expected at the time it would be the last thing we’d ever say to each other. I click out of Thomas’ and click on Richy. So, you want to turn yourself in? I’d asked. That was before he called me. Before he lit a match and burned himself and the mine to the ground. Some people would call that heroic. I mostly call him a coward.

I click on Jake’s name. It’s been a while since I read messages between the two of us. Maybe before I had accepted—thought—he was dead. In that twenty-five-day period when I’d hoped with all I’d had that he would come back. I love you. That was the last message he sent me. I’d responded with I love you too, Jake. Then, four days later: Are you okay? A week later: Jake, please, you’re starting to scare me. I know you said you would contact when you could, but it’s been a week. After twenty-five days, when I had finally accepted our fate, I’d sent one final message: I hope you know that I love you, and I will always care about you, but I think it’s time for me to move on. I’m so sorry that I sent you into the mine. It should have been me. And I will probably feel the guilt from that for the rest of my life. Thank you for everything. Take care of yourself, wherever you are.

After that, I had closed out of our messages and hadn’t looked back. Partly because I couldn’t bear the pain of it. It felt like I had given up on him. I hadn’t—if I had thought for a second that he was alive, if I knew then what I know now, I would have never sent that message. But holding out hope for somebody who I thought was a ghost at the time? That was slowly killing me.

It’s only then that I notice the screen flickering. Much like the way it used to whenever Jake would hack into my phone. I don’t think he’s much in the mood to be hacking right now, but somehow, I know it’s him. When had he done this? Recently? If I had opened our messages, would I have seen this ten—twenty—even fifty days ago? It hadn’t looked like this the last time I texted him. Did he see my last message about needing to move on? Was that why he hadn’t reached out to tell me that he was okay? Because he thought I was moving on happily without him?

No, my brain supplies. He wouldn’t. He would reach out anyway, because he knows how much the thought of him not being okay would have destroyed you.

The screen flickers once more and then a message pops up, bright and blue-tinted and clear as day on my phone.

[MC]

I WILL FIND YOU

And the world around me shifts.

--------------------------------------------------

Maybe it sounds crazy, considering I’ve never seen his face before, but I always thought that if I’d ran into Jake one day, maybe on the street or at one of those motels he stayed at or maybe even in Duskwood, surrounded by all our friends, I would know it was him. I would, because it’s him, and it’s me, and we’re the only two people who understand each other quite the way we do.

I still believe that.

I believe it when I book my flight to Duskwood (or rather, twenty miles outside of town, which is the closest airport). I believe it when I board the airplane and find a seat next to a mother with her screaming child and when I shoot off a quick text to Eric to let him know I’ll be MIA for the next few hours, but to message me if he needs anything—and I think about how much easier this case would probably be to solve if we had Jake.

Maybe it would have been harder to find Hannah without me, but I know damn well they would’ve never found her without Jake.

Dan picks me up from the airport. I haven’t told the others yet. Something about it felt off—like I shouldn’t message them and say hey, I know we haven’t spoken in a while, but I’m booking a flight to look into why my maybe-slash-not-really boyfriend left his belongings in a forest we really wish we could forget about, and by the way, can I crash at your place?

It’s quiet on the car ride back into town. I’m looking through my messages from Eric and the group from Redlog Pines and thinking about how I’m Duskwood with this group and I want so badly to laugh because it’s ironic, but Dan wouldn’t understand. He might just call me crazy. Better yet, he would ask how I manage to get myself into these situations, and really, I don’t have an answer for him.

“How have you been?” I ask, just to break the tension, as Charlie, in my messages, tries to persuade his friends to head back into that creepy cave in the middle of the forest. He’s going to get someone killed, I think.

Dan looks over at me. “Are you still with Hackerman?”

My chest squeezes. “His name is Jake, Dan. And we were never really together.”

“Hm.” He nods like he doesn’t quite believe me. “You already know mostly everything that’s been happening here. Thomas and Hannah called it quits. They say it was some mutual decision, but it’s hard to find them in the same room together. Jessy hasn’t been out with us since. I think we remind her too much of Richy. The group’s all changed.”

“And you?” I ask.

He gives me a cheshire-like grin that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “I’m always the same.”

We make it to Duskwood just as the sun’s going down. Much too late for me to try and trek through the forest and retrace the steps Jake might have taken that night. Not that I think it would help give me any clues as to where he might have gone, but mostly because I wonder if it will make me feel closer to him. We’ve never been in the same place before, and even if he’s not there now—he once was.

“Can you drop me at the police station?”

Dan blinks. “The police station.”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“We answered their questions for weeks, [MC]. I don’t think anything you have to tell them at this point is going to help. The investigation’s closed. Everybody knows Richy did it. He died with the fire in the mine. Everybody’s trying to move on from that.” He works his jaw. “Did you come here to open old wounds after all this time?”

I try not to show the hurt look on my face. “This isn’t about Richy. Look, Alan called me. He asked if I could look at some things. I figured it was better for me to do it in person. That’s it. Nothing to do with Richy. Nothing to do with Jessy. Nothing to do with you.”

He sighs, and I’m not entirely sure he’s going to abide by my wishes until we pull in front of a tiny building—tinier than most—that says Duskwood Police on the sign. Duskwood must not have that much crime. Well, not until this, I suppose.

“Thank you.” I tell him as I reach over to undo my seatbelt and climb out of the car. “This is a nice ride, by the way.”

He raises a hand in some mock-salute. “Need me to pick you up?”

“Nah.” I shake my head. “Think I’ll explore the town for a little bit.”

“Suit yourself.” He shrugs and then he’s off.

I square my shoulders and take a deep breath before opening the door to the police station. It wasn’t like Alan asked me to come down here. He hadn’t. Even during the investigation into Richy’s death and Hannah’s kidnapping, when he questioned us, he never asked me to come to Duskwood. We’d done way too many video calls and phone calls and at one point, I had asked if he thought it would be easier for me to come to Duskwood, to which he responded back, are you ready for that?

No, I hadn’t been. I’m not even so sure I was now. But knowing that Jake was alive, that here was the last place was, I had to try.

“Can I help you?” The woman at the front desk asks.

I clear my throat. “I was wondering if I could speak to Alan Bloomgate. I’m one of—I was involved in the Hannah Donfort case. My name is [MC].”

Her eyes widen. “Give me a moment.” She stands and heads to some back office—which looks to me more like a closet—and then returns with a clipped smile. “He’ll be right out.”

Apparently, she isn’t lying, because not two minutes later, Alan is stepping out from the same door and staring me down. I hold his gaze and hope it says that I’m not here to argue. I will tell him my truth, but only my truth, not Hannah’s, not Jake’s, not anybody else’s.

“I was wondering when I would see you.” He says.

I shrug one shoulder. “Isn’t a few months later better than never?”

“Let’s go into my office.” He says, and leads me around the desk and back into the closet space he had come out of. He sits behind the desk and motions for me to take a seat opposite him. “I’m just going to guess you’re not here to talk about Miss Donfort.”

“I want to see them.” I tell him. “His things. I want to see them for myself. And whatever you want from me in return, I’ll give to you.”

“You’re playing a dangerous game here, [MC].”

“He isn’t a game to me.” I snap back and then sit back and try to relax. “I appreciate that you called me. It’s—I helped you find Hannah. I would do it again. Even with knowing the things that we do now, I would do it all again. That’s how much that group means to me. That’s how much he means to me. I’m not asking you to break any rules or to lie for him or to—to let him hide in your basement for the next five years. I’m just asking you to show me what you found.”

He stares me down for a moment. Then, he sighs, says “wait here for a minute” and disappears to another room. When he comes back, it’s with an evidence bag in his hand filled with the objects I saw on his bodycam footage. My breath hitches in my throat.

“I can’t let you touch them.” He says as he lays them in front of me.

I stare into the eyes of the mask. “Did you tell anybody that he’s alive?”

“I don’t know that he’s alive,” is all the answer he gives, which is an answer to my question. I slide my gaze down to the black hoodie, to the dirtied sleeves and muddy hood, and think about the fact that Jake wore this. I’m so close to him.

And yet I’ve never been further away from him.

“Thank you.” I tell him. “For—for this. And for listening to me about Hannah. If you hadn’t, I—I don’t know what would have happened. How much longer he would have gone on for. If he would have ever stopped.”

Alan’s silent for a minute. Then, he clears his throat. “You know, it was strange to me. Both Hannah and yourself swore to me that neither of you knew the other.”

“I don’t.” I swear.

It was one of the (albeit many) things that didn’t make sense to me. How Hannah got a hold of my number. How she sent it to Thomas. She’d told Alan she hadn’t really remembered texting him my number at all.

“I believe you.” He reassures. “I just think it’s strange. One mistake, if you can call it that, and you throw yourself into a missing persons case to help a stranger.”

“They’re not strangers.” Even though Hannah is kind of still a stranger.

“But they were.” Alan reasons. “You had no reason to say yes to helping Thomas. I doubt anybody would have held it against you if you turned the other way. But you decided to follow this until the end. To make sure they found Hannah. And you care about them. Maybe that’s why I find that I’m more lenient with you than maybe I should be. Why you’re sitting across from me right now calling the shots. Why I’m not asking you about the hacker.”

“I wouldn’t tell you if you did.” I look him in the eye so he knows I’m telling the truth.

He returns my gaze. “Maybe that’s the other reason.”

“Hm.” I acknowledge before I turn my gaze away—from him, from the objects that I know belong to Jake and it takes everything in me not to snatch them up and run. “Well. Thank you for allowing me to steal some of your time. For letting me—” I cut myself off before I say something that makes me break down in a fit of tears in front of him. “—just thank you.”

Leaving the station is easier than coming in. I’m still not any closer to knowing where Jake is than I was when I arrived here, but there’s a comfort in knowing he walked these streets. I wonder what he would think if he knew I was here. He hadn’t wanted me to come to Duskwood when everything was happening…but now that it was over, would he be happy that I was here? That I had come to Duskwood to piece together where he might have gone? Would he track my location and come to find me and…or was I grasping at straws?

It felt like I had just gotten him back. Not really, not entirely…but knowing that he was alive, that he was out there somewhere, maybe thinking of me and looking for ways to come back, to live the life we talked about when he asked me if I was sure…that was worth it. The thought that we could maybe someday have that—even if it was a twenty percent chance.

I check my phone again to see a new message from Ash. She’s asking me if I’ve heard from Charlie in the last few hours. Apparently, he’s AWOL, and I want to help, really, but…it doesn’t really feel like that’s where I am at the moment. Not just physically—obviously—but mentally. We got lucky with Hannah. And that was really only because we had Jake. Adam didn’t have a Jake. Or…maybe he did and I just hadn’t met him yet. But I already had a Jake and I didn’t want another one.

Maybe—if I found him, I could convince him to help. That was a big maybe. Not because I thought Jake would say no. He would say yes to anything I asked of him. The maybe was whether or not I could find him. More likely, the maybe was whether or not he would find me.

Three months ago, I would have been able to come to Duskwood and have no shortage of things I wanted to do and people I wanted to see. Now, as I stand outside Duskwood’s police station, I feel nothing but loneliness. Nobody knows I’m here. I could pass Thomas on the street and he wouldn’t even know it. I could run into Jessy at the library and she would walk by me without even a second thought. Why would they? I hadn’t told them I was here.

So, with nothing left to do, I walked. Toward the town center. Toward the library that Jessy showed me on our walk through Duskwood. Toward the Rainbow Café where I knew that Cleo and Hannah had spent a lot of their time. Toward the Black Swan. Toward—

Ah, what the hell.

I had nothing better to do and The Aurora seemed like a great place to drown my sorrows. To think about my next steps. To figure out—now that I was in Duskwood—what I planned to do. The thing about Jake being so secretive (and on the run) was that I couldn’t retrace his steps. I wasn’t able to ask if anyone had seen him. One, because he would make sure nobody had. And two, because three months was a long time to forget somebody’s face if you didn’t know who you were looking for.

I pull open the door to the bar and step inside. Immediately, I’m hit with the stench of whiskey and a handful of chatter. Duskwood’s a small town. And The Aurora definitely proves it. The bartenders move melodically around each other, serving patrons on the other side of the bar. If you walk down further, there’s a handful of tables.

And dead in the center is a table with my friends. Or, some of them. Dan and Cleo and Lilly. Could I still call them my friends? Ex-friends, maybe? Acquaintances? I didn’t know what they were. Or how to address them. It wasn’t like we had gotten into a fight. We didn’t stop talking for any reason other than that we did. We stopped talking.

I make a beeline for the bar to avoid a confrontation and plant myself on one of the stools. One of the bartenders—a girl cute with bleach blonde hair and brown Bambi eyes—asks what I want and I channel my inner Dan to order a whiskey—neat.

Looking over my shoulder, I focus on the table of them. On Lilly, who’s smiling at something Cleo said. On Dan, who’s the only one of them who actually knows I’m here. But even he’s focused on the conversation they’re having. It’s strange—to see Dan a part of something I’m not sure he would have been before. It’s nice.

“[MC]?”

I turn my head away from the table of my friends and focus my attention across the bar on someone I should’ve expected to see. “Phil.”

“I thought I recognized your voice from when we talked.” He smiles. “I wasn’t sure, but I saw you staring longingly at them—” He nods towards Dan and Cleo and Lilly. “—and I knew. What brings you around here? I expected you to show up maybe a few months ago, but by now, I thought you’d moved on without us.”

I was tired of the words move on. Like I’d had a choice. Like the people from this town might open their arms and welcome me back into their lives. So I’d been part of the group who’d saved Hannah Donfort. So had a lot of people. It didn’t make me special and everyone here knew it.

I offer him a smile in return. “I’m looking for somebody.”

“Anybody I know?” He asks.

I shake my head. “Nah. At least nobody you would recognize.” I pause. “How’s Jessy?”

“She’s—Jessy.” He answers, like that is an answer. “I don’t know if she’ll ever really be okay with the way things happened with Richy. I wouldn’t expect her to. Obviously. But I don’t know. I think I just thought she would have gone back to her normal life by now. And then I remember that most of her life revolved around him. He was her best friend. She worked for him. And I’m trying to be patient about that. But—” He shakes his head. “Maybe you should talk to her.”

“She doesn’t know I’m in town.”

“Okay.” He hums. “So, you’re not in town for my sister. And you’re not in town for your group of friends because they’re over there and you look like you’d rather be anywhere else. There’s always Hannah, but I don’t think you knew her that well. Or at all. Would I be right to assume this is about a certain hacker who helped to find Hannah?”

“He didn’t help find Hannah.” I defend. “He was the entire reason we found Hannah. I would have never been able to do it on my own. Even with the others’ help. He’s the only reason we found out about—” I pause before I say something I maybe shouldn’t. “It doesn’t matter. He’s the only reason we found her. Everything I did was just dumb luck.”

“That wasn’t what the news said.” A voice cuts in and I turn my attention from Phil to focus on the stranger that slides into the seat beside me. Not too close—a couple inches away. I don’t recognize him. I don’t know him. But I don’t know every person in Duskwood. Maybe a total of like nine or ten. “I’m sorry to interrupt. But I heard you had a lot to do with finding Hannah Donfort. The news said you were some kind of hero.”

I offer him a tight smile. “That’s nice of them. But…if they knew my—friend—knew what he did to find her, I don’t think I would be as much of a hero as everybody says.”

“That’s noble.” He says, eyes meeting mine, and it strikes me at once how handsome he is. He has dark hair. Bright green eyes. Focus, [MC]. I scold. You have a…a someone.

My phone buzzes.

ERIC SENT A PHOTO.

ERIC: What do you make of this?

I sigh and click on the photo. It’s of—some object. Much like the one that was addressed to me on the envelope in Adam’s glove compartment. The image is a bit different—but I don’t know enough about what it means to have an answer as to why.

ME: Was this one addressed to me?

ERIC: Nope. Ash.

“Are you okay?” Phil asks.

I clear my throat. “I’m a popular person—apparently.” A thought strikes. “Have you ever heard of a place called Redlog Pines?”

Phil frowns. “No.”

I turn to look at the stranger. “You?”

“Redlog Pines is a small town about two hundred miles north of Duskwood.” He answers. “Known for their wooded forests, much like Duskwood.”

“Why are you looking into a place with forests as creepy as ours?” Phil asks, incredulously. “Didn’t you get enough of that with Hannah’s case?”

“Yeah.” I sigh. “You would think.”

“Hey, [MC]!”

I wince at the sound of Dan’s voice. Shooting Phil a look that screams please help me to which he shakes his head amusedly, I turn and plaster on a fake smile as I take in the shocked looks on Cleo and Lilly’s faces. I should have known better than to come to The Aurora and talk to Phil when the three of them were having a conversation across the room. I should have known they would sooner or later see me. I just hoped it was later.

“Hey.” I hop off my stool and make my way across the bar to them. “It’s, uh, fancy seeing the three of you here.”

“What are you doing here?” Cleo asks.

“I haven’t really figured that out.” My eyes meet Lilly’s. “It sounds crazy to say it out loud. But I was hoping that—I’m not sure if Lilly told you—”

“That Jake’s alive.” Cleo nods. “None of us ever really thought he wasn’t.”

I don’t think she means it as a dig—but it still feels like one. Like she’s saying you gave up on him you gave up on him you gave up on him even though she’s not and she didn’t really know him and the only person I can talk to at this table who even might understand is Lilly and even—Jake didn’t confide in her the way he did me.

“Right.” I acknowledge. “So I thought that maybe if I came here, I could trace his steps from when he was here and—I haven’t really thought that far ahead. It’s not like I thought he left me any clues in the forest or anything like that. I don’t think he expected me to be here. He hadn’t wanted me to be the last time we talked. But that was before everything happened.”

Lilly’s eyes track behind me. “Does Jake still have Nymos on your phone?”

“Uh.” I furrow my brows. “I think so. I hadn’t heard from him in a while, but I went back and read through our messages after I talked to Alan and…my phone glitched, like it used to when Jake had hacked it. And then this message appeared on my screen.”

“And by chance, can Nymos track your location?”

“What—” I shake my head. “Maybe. I don’t think I ever really asked him. It didn’t seem necessary at the time.”

“Uh huh.” She focuses on me once more. “Let’s say, for one minute, that Jake has access to Nymos who has access to your location.”

Cleo must catch onto something I’m not sure of. “Jake didn’t want you here.”

“Uh, thank you?”

“You know that’s not what I mean.” She waves me off. “He didn’t want you in Duskwood. He had been adamant about that when we were talking about the mine. That’s why he went. If you showed up in Duskwood—”

“Nymos would have alerted him.” Dan finishes.

“Okay…” I’m not entirely sure I’m on the same page as them. “So—you think that Jake found out when I came to Duskwood.”

“Correct.” Lilly beams like she just solved life’s greatest mystery.

“And you think he would—come find me?”

She smiles sympathetically at me—like I’m the world’s biggest idiot for not realizing what she has been trying to say sooner. “I think he already has.”

“You think Jake’s in Duskwood.” I deadpan.

“[MC].” Cleo grabs my shoulders and turns me around. “We think he’s in this bar.”

Stranger, as I had nicknamed him—AKA the guy sitting beside me at the bar, with Phil and Redlog Pines (which he probably only knew about because of me) and the whole Hannah being kidnapped and not taking any of the credit thing—was looking back at me. So was Phil. Like they thought I was the crazy one. Like it would’ve been so hard for him to look and me and say it’s me or anything that might have clued me into the fact that—

“Jake?” I whisper, because I’ve lost quite a bit of sleep over the past couple of months and I’m not one hundred percent sure what—or who—I’m seeing is real. “Are you here?”

He tilts his head and smiles at me. Actually smiles. A bit shyly, like it’s something he’s not used to doing, but maybe like it’s something he could get used to. And I think about how terrible I probably look right now because I’m not wearing makeup and my hair is tousled from constantly pulling at it and my clothes are wrinkled from the plane and the police station and I look like a mess. But our relationship has never been about looks. Clearly. I didn’t even know the person I’d been talking to until Lilly and Cleo and even Dan pointed out the obvious.

“If I—” I close my eyes and open them again. Nope. Still there. “I need you to still be there by the time I reach you because it’s been a—” I sniffle. “—it’s been a rough few months and I don’t think I could handle you disappearing again.”

He stands from the stool he was sitting on and shuffles his feet. Like he’s not quite sure where he’s supposed to stand. If he thinks about moving, I’ll tackle him onto the floor of The Aurora and then apologize to Phil later. It feels like everything I wanted is right here in front of me. And I’m scared to death that it’s not real.

“What’s one thing you would take with you if you were stranded on an island?”

His smile stretches. “My computer.”

And that—that’s what breaks me. I think I might start blubbering like an idiot but I don’t remember the time it takes for me to cross the measly twenty feet between us. All I remember is grabbing his black hoodie—because of course—and dragging him to me. I don’t kiss him, despite how much I want to, because I don’t want our first kiss to be tainted with my snot and tears. Instead, I bury my face in his collarbone and wrap my arms around his neck and hold on for dear life.

Because I can. Because he isn’t dead.

“Y—You’re here.” I pull back and cup his face with my hands. “How are you here?”

“You came to Duskwood.” He responds, and then—hesitantly—he presses his lips to my forehead in a kiss. “Alan called you.”

“He found your things in the forest.” I whisper back. “He said they’d been there a while. The police hadn’t searched the forest because they assume you died in the mine.”

“They aren’t looking for me here.” He confirms. “I didn’t expect it to take so long for them to find my belongings, but I anticipated that you would find out. At the time, it wasn’t safe for me to reach out and contact you. They kept on my trail for a while before they assumed I died in the mine with Richy.”

“Why didn’t you contact me then?” I ask. “Is it because of what I last messaged you? I didn’t mean it—I swear, I thought you were dead. If I had known you were alive, I would have waited, however long it took. I wasn’t trying to give up on you.”

“Hey.” He places both hands on either side of my face. “I know. I know that, [MC]. That was never why I didn’t reach out to you. I know you said you wanted this life with me. But I didn’t want that for you. But I was selfish. I couldn’t let you go. So I was trying to find a way to make both of those things true. But I was always coming back to you.”

“And did you?”

“Come back to you?” He asks.

I sniffle. “Find a way to make both of those things true.”

“Not entirely.” He admits. “Nymos alerted me you had boarded a plane headed in the direction of Duskwood and I—” He shook his head. “I knew I would find you here.”

“You could have found me sooner.”

He lets go of my face and he feels like he takes my skin with him. “It wasn’t that easy.”

“It could have been.” I demand.

I’m angry again. Now that I know he’s alive and okay and that he could have found me, I’m angry that he didn’t. I told him I would choose that life with him. Over and over and over. He didn’t need to make the decision for me. He didn’t need to try and protect me. And yes, maybe the fact that he did makes my heart flutter a tiny little bit, but that’s besides the point.

“I told you before you left me.” I tell him and I’m aware it sounds like we’ve been in a relationship for five years and I’m aware that everybody in here is watching and listening in on our conversation and they probably all know we’re who we are, two people involved in helping to find the kidnapped Hannah Donfort, and maybe that’s all we’ll ever be in this town. But I would rather be the girl who found Hannah Donfort in Duskwood with him than be me anywhere else. “You told me you would let me go with you.”

“That was before I told you I loved you.”

My heart skips a beat. It screams I love you I love you I love you back, but I say— “What does that have to do with anything?”

He looks somewhat amused. Like he knows I would never hold it against him. It’s clear to both of us that I wouldn’t because even though I’m glaring up at him with my furrowed eyebrows and my lips pouted, I’m still pressed tightly against him. His hands—even though they’ve moved from my face—are now resting on my hips. Pulling my tighter to him. There’s no space in between us. If it was up to me, I’m pretty sure there never would be again.

“[MC].” He says, and oh god I wish he would say my name every day for the rest of his life. “Have I—in the short time we have known each other—ever struck you as the type of person who says I love you? But with you…” His words are a whisper against my lips. “It’s easy to fall back into old emotions with you.”

“I want to be angry with you.” I tell him.

He shakes his head. “No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.” I agree. “But I might be if you don’t kiss me.”

He brought one finger underneath my chin and tilted it up until our lips were separated by a fraction of an inch. My eyelids fluttered. I didn’t care that everyone in here was about to see just how much Jake meant to be. I didn’t care because I had waited too long for this. And then—just as I’m leaning toward him to press our lips together, he whispers— “[MC]?”

“Hm.” I acknowledge.

“Who’s Eric?”

My eyelids crack open and I shove at his chest. “That’s what you’re worried about right now? Here I am, in front of you, covered in snot and tears and who-knows-what-else because you’re here right now, and you’re worried about some guy I don’t even know?”

“Who’s Eric?” He repeats.

“Ugh.” I run my hands through my hair and take a step back. “I don’t know. He’s the other side of Thomas or whatever you want to call him. If we lived in a different town.” I glare back at him and try not to admit that I think his jealous side is a little cute. “He messaged me. Thought I picked up his friend from some parking lot and I didn’t, but his friend sent him my number, and it was Hannah all over again. I’m trying to help them.”

“This Adam has been sending you a lot of videos.”

“You know I hate when you hack my phone.” I complain, even though I really don’t. Even though I had prayed for him to help me with this case. “I really don’t know Adam. Like—even less than I know Eric.

“But you know Eric.”

“For like a week.” I reassure. “He added me to this group chat with him and like three other friends of his. They’re desperate to find Adam who has apparently dropped off the face of the earth and I don’t know what to do. I had you with Hannah’s case. And you knew her. And they—” I look over my shoulder at Cleo and Dan and Lilly, who are pretending like they’re not listening in even though I know and Jake knows they are. “—they knew her. And obviously Adam’s friends must know him but I don’t and you don’t and there is no Jake in Redlog Pines.”

“I don’t trust him.” He shakes his head. “Any of them.”

I laugh. “Jake, you didn’t trust half the people in this bar when we first started talking.” I look over at Phil and then Dan. “It doesn’t mean they committed a crime. If I had backed off when you asked me to help you find Hannah, we may never have.”

“I thought that was all thanks to me.” He sounds smug, like that little smiley face he loved to annoy me with (AKA make me fall in love with him). “Did he flirt with you?”

“No.” I deadpan. “I think he was focused on his missing friend.”

“I was focused on my missing sister.” He shoots back.

I close my mouth. Alright. He has a point. But I wasn’t flirting with Eric. He was focused on finding Adam and I was focused on mourning—and then finding—Jake. Maybe it felt like Eric and I were two sides of the same coin. Maybe that’s why I agreed to help him. Because I didn’t want to happen to him what I thought had happened to Jake—to me.

“You’re being ridiculous.” I say instead. “How do you think I could ever entertain the idea of being with somebody else when for the past three months—more than that if you count the time we have actually had together—I’ve been focused on you? On discussing Hannah with you and then talking to you about anything and everything and then worrying about you and then hating you a little for convincing me you should me the one to go into the mine and then mourning you when it was hard to even think about you and then finding you?”

His eyes are wide. I think I’ve rendered him speechless. Which—serves him right. I know he’s not somebody who serves their feelings up on a silver platter. I know that. Obviously, I knew that from the first time I spoke to him. Back when he was nothing more than ??? and I was almost convinced that Dan was right and he was the Man Without A Face—a thought that I now hate with everything in me. But I need him to trust me. Jealousy streak and FBI and the missing persons cases aside, he needs to trust me.

“Trust me.” I cup the sides of his face again. “He’s nothing like you.”

He swallows. “Some people might consider that to be a perk.”

“I don’t.” I say.

And then I’m kissing him and it feels like coming home.

[sapphicteadragon]

Link Click season 3 untranslated text

Hey yall! Since the subs on the new season of Link Click are ass (who would have thought) and also don't translate any of the on-screen text, I figured I'd just compile my translations of all of it in case anyone's curious.

These are all the texts from episode 1, as follows:

"Partner, let's play basketball together again tomorrow~" (the 啊 gives it a cutesy/friendly tone)

Top: But you do know

Bottom left: that once the contract is established, no matter whether you succeed, you will have no way of going any further into the future

Bottom right: After it is complete, your soul will dissipate, and regret will be to no avail.

Hmm... in order to do my utmost to save the things I treasure, what is there to regret!

Bilibili Message

"Ranxi Chronicles" The signing event will begin next Saturday at 15:00. Every person will have three minutes of interacting time, and must book a slot in advance to obtain a signature or drawing. The order is determined based on the on-site queueing order.

BILI SEARCH (these are the same characters as bilibili, which is a fun easter egg)

"How to become a comic artist" (search)

1: how do I become a comic artist? Suggestions from those in the profession

Not only must you have a grounding in basic skills, you must also unceasingly practice and learn. You can do this by drawing sketches, and practising tracing lines until your foundation in drawing skill improves.

2: How do I become a qualified comic artist?

You first must set your mentality straight and clearly set your objectives. Your objectives must be established on the foundation of a strong mentality. If you want to become a comic artist, there is no harm in first asking yourself why you have this kind of goal.

3: How to become a comic artist? The state of comic artists in the profession

This specialisation is not as bright and pretty as it appears on the surface. The living and working conditions are also not as satisfying as you might imagine; right now they truly are frugal. (the word used here means skinny/sparse) So, listen to my advice:

SKY5690: There's no future in it, you won't earn any money in the first place

RAIN1352: Run away fast

CAT7931: Haven't slept in 3 days

Shen San Shui (lit. sink in three waters)

Today I went to a comic con, and joined a signing event for my favourite comic artist. I was inspired in no small measure, and from now on I plan to advance courageously on the path of becoming a comic artist! Fortunately a demon girl-jiejie (jiejie means sister, but is also used to refer to an older female friend/acquaintance) helped me find something very important, and if it weren't for her, I definitely wouldn't have been able to muster the courage. But this demon girl-jiejie left something of hers with me, and I have no way of finding her. If anyone knows this jiejie, please contact me anytime!

Description: wearing a demon girl cosplay, around 160cm tall, shoulder-length black hair

Top: My sister was hospitalised again today, the doctor said

Middle: My sister's treatment costs are accumulating. If the investment path is good, and you choose the right one, then the path will naturally be magnanimous

Bottom: Today's profits are in. I rarely do anything luxurious, can't forget to reward myself with food and drink while rushing about~

V: Xun-ge, the profits you entrusted me to handle before have arrived in the account <3

X: Heavens, you're impressive

V: Hehe, next time I can try investing a little more, and can earn even more <3

"Sorry I couldn't get there yesterday, can we meet up again? I want to chat with you"

That's all for episode 1, there weren't any in episode 2 that I saw. If I missed any please tell me and I'll add them, and I'll keep an eye out for any text in the upcoming episodes!

[hazbinwhoree]

Ok SOO THE NEW EPISODE JUST CAME OUT RIGHT, I was wondering if you could do a part 3 of the Adam x sinner fic where the sinner finds him in the aftermath of the fight and brings him back to their place. And like yk how sir p was redeemed, what if Adam comes back as a demon‼️ u write Adam so well, thx💜 

Adam’s Sinner

Part 3/3

A/N: “Adam is dead” Nuh uh.

When Adam had told her about his plan to attack the Hazbin Hotel, (Name) had told him it was a dangerous idea.

As he lay dying, Adam realized she’d been right. He was alone now, his exorcists having flown back to Heaven and Lucifer and his bitch daughter and her friends had left him to go take stock of the damage the fight had caused. Until suddenly, he wasn’t alone.

(Name)’s face appeared in his line of sight. For a moment he thought he was hallucinating, but he could never imagine the scream of pure agony she let out.

“Adam,” she sobbed, pulling his head into her lap and placing a gentle hand on his cheek. Adam closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“This is the first time I’ve ever seen you without your mask,” (Name) realized through her tears. Adam smiled weakly. “Like what you see, babe?” He coughed up blood and (Name) cried harder.

“You can’t die, you can’t, please Adam, please,” she rambled through tears. “I think my fate is sealed. I’m sorry. I love you.” He closed his eyes and completely stilled, his chest no longer rising and falling. “NO!” (Name) screamed. “ADAM!”

She shook him gently but he was gone. Through heavy sobs, (Name) gently put his head back on the ground and threw herself across his body. She lay there crying for a few minutes before kissing Adam’s forehead and rising to her feet.

Adam’s body disappeared in a flash of gold before her eyes. At least she wouldn’t have to bury him.

With a heavy heart and tears still flowing, she made her way back to her apartment. When she opened the door, someone was standing in the middle of the living room.

“Welcome home, sugar tits, did you miss me?”

Adam had two spiral horns protruding from his hair on the top of his head, his wings were black, and he had a tail, but it was Adam. Without a second thought, (Name) rushed him, throwing herself into his arms.

“You’re here,” she cried. “You’re alive!”

“Reincarnated as a demon,” Adam agreed.

“Thank fuck,” (Name) sobbed into his chest. He smiled, holding her tightly. When (Name) pulled back, she looked up at Adam with an indiscernible look. “What?” he asked.

“Your face,” she said softly, reaching up to hold it. Adam melted at her touch. “Your real face. My handsome boy.” Adam blushed. “Shut up.”

(Name) just smiled. Adam leaned down to press his lips to hers. Her lips tasted salty from tears. She ran her fingers through his hair while they kissed.

“I love you,” she breathed when they pulled apart.

“I love you too.”

Adam lifted her up so they were face to face and reconnected their lips. (Name) kissed desperately, like Adam may disappear at any moment. When they finally pulled apart again, they rested their foreheads against one another.

“You’re here,” she whispered. “I’m here,” he confirmed. “Now we can see each other every damn day. Hope you don’t get sick of me.” (Name) hadn’t even thought about that. She laughed happily. “I could never.”

So it turned out that while Adam had reincarnated as his least favorite species, the pros heavily outweigh the cons.

He was happy.

[grace-williams-xo]

RAMBLING THOUGHTS AFTER FINISHING PART TWO. GONNA ADDRESS MY P1 THOUGHTS FIRST. SPOILER WARNING.

1 & 2: I think Debling could’ve worked in the second half, and I’m kinda sad Cressida didn’t get a happy ending. The Creloise fell of a CLIFF after ep 5 but I think it could still be saved

5: no cishet man has ever loved his wife more than Anthony Bridgerton I’m gonna be ill

6 & 12: kanthony’s absence was felt BAD in the finale, I think their reactions to LW were sorely needed. Also Jonny and Simone have both said they’ll be at every sibling’s wedding and stick around for years but they missed Francesca’s??? Also felt their absence too much then. They’re both booked and busy I think we’ll continue to only get a couple episodes a season from them

8: Francesca did get to thrive happy in pt 2 my baby I love her

9: I think they managed to disconnect the mondrich plot even further like 😭 once again, I don’t mind them their plot just feels very empty

10: Pen and Delacroix CONTINUE to be my fave duo I love them so freaking much and they can never get rid of it

13: Portia’s growth this season continued to be 10/10 I loved her and Penelope’s relationship it really showed what it’s like to be closely related to people you oppose and the process of needing to forgive and understand them for your own peace of mind

14: that was not how I was expecting Colin to find out about Whistledown

15: Marcus felt a little rushed in part two but I think I need to watch the whole season together to fully decide

17: this was indeed the longest 27 days of my life I got Covid day after it dropped lmfao

MY ~NEW~ THOUGHTS:

We finally got character development from Cressida and if they write her out I’ll be inconsolable (as will Jessica Madsen)

I hope they paid Golda Rosheuvel good for her feet exposure. Worth more than titties in this economy

I feel the need to tell everyone that £5000 in 1815 is in the realm of £500,000 today and we cannot brush over the fact Penelope has made herself the equivalent of a literal millionaire

Anthony has two moods ‘I’m obsessed with my wife’ ‘I want to win this game’ like it is comical how drastically different his facial expression is in the game of charades compared to pretty much every other scene

Anthony saying the marriage is perfect and not hard work and Kate being like BOY I will humble you,,,, doing the lord’s work I love her so much

At some points I felt like Francesca was fighting Anthony for ‘Violet’s least favourite child’ award lmao

John saying he’s off to look at the wainscotting was unfairly funny

Cressida in the red dress is even better than I imagined fuck even if she’s not gay then I am

Peneloise back together the universe is healing I love my babies all we need now is creloise lovers and peneloise friendship simultaneously I don’t like it being one or the other sue me

However much Brimsley is getting paid isn’t enough,,,, Hugh Sachs the man that you are

I adored Penelope’s wedding dress so much and as bitter as I am still about no kanthony wedding in s2, it felt kind of right somehow for Polin to be the first wedding we properly see in this show

Most of the costumes and makeup feel like they got worse,,,,, big ‘I hired a 14 year old’ energy. I don’t need historical accuracy but I would like a modicum of care and the costume/hair/makeup dept looking at a single historical reference from before 1850,,,, please

We all got the bi Benedict we’ve been asking for and I appreciate it, and recognise that he needed Tilley to explore that, but I still would’ve preferred if they first main queer experience was not a threesome

If they go straight into benophie in s4 (which idk, I’m so torn bc I feel like F, E and B all could work well next season) then I also feel like bi Benedict was just them throwing a bone for 5 mins but meant nothing

The CONTENTIOUS Michaela Stirling,,,,, I was undecided until I saw it but that was the definition of gay panic from Francesca and it worked so well I am so excited.

As your resident peerage expert, it is much easier for women to inherit titles in Scotland than England so I wonder (not that anyone on this show knows anything) if that was a reason they chose Francesca to be sapphic [general peerage info and female inheritance info if you care]

On the above, if they can canonically end racism with one marriage then they can end homophobia with one marriage as well

We all know Eloise was the easy and obvious choice to be the queer love story but part of me does kind of like them not taking the easy route, and them going something more unexpected, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want Creloise/Sapphic El like they had eight children let’s be honest

Finch’s sneeze and Phillips’s “now Varely! The bugs!” were unfairly funny

Everything Lady Danbury said to Penelope about suspecting her and what not felt very in character and you can fight with the wall idc

Did they tell us the name of Polin’s baby boy???

Hyacinth saying she thinks of Gregory as the family pet,,,,, girl you an icon walking amongst mere mortals

Predictions I got right:

Anthony didn’t kill Colin, but “are you gonna duel your own brother” lmao I was on the right track

I knew Polin would win the Featherington baby race and I love that for them (but why were Prudence and Phillipa pregnant most of the season, barely showing, Kate was showing almost immediately, and then in the epilogue the sisters all had baby’s similar-ish ages???? Give the writers room a calendar please)

I SAID FROM DAY DOT THAT THE FURNITURE THEY BROKE FROM SEX WAS A CHAISE I CANT FIND THE POST BUT I KNEW IT I FUCKING KNEW IT WHERE DO I COLLECT MY PRIZE SOME OF YOUR GUESSES WERE TRULY FUCKING COOKED

Okay that was too long if you made it this far I’ll make you cookie ily

[houpss]

SKZ's reaction to your death ver. maknae line

hyung line (please pay attention to this work, I tried 😿)

It pains me to write this work, my heart breaks and I begin to believe in this nonsense... BUT REMEMBER THAT ONLY PERSONALITIES ARE TAKEN FROM THE REAL SKZ, EVERYTHING REST IS FICTION!

Mentions of explosions, drugs, addictions, fatal diseases, a lot of tears, fatal diseases . ANGST.

Han Jisung

He begged you not to go, because he had a nightmare where you died.

You just laughed it off and kissed Jisung on the cheek, what could have happened?

He literally knew this would happen.

He calls Changbin: “The company building Y/N was in was blown up.”

He knew.

He felt nothing, complete emptiness.

His hands were shaking madly, he wanted to disappear.

Your body was not found, perhaps it was torn to pieces.

An empty coffin was buried, it's so scary.

The feeling of your morning kiss is still on his cheek. You promised him to come in the evening and watch new episodes of anime.

But you'll never come back again.

He dreams about you, but he wants more.

Yes, he will start taking drugs to prolong the effect of your presence.

Members will notice this only over time.

Minho and Hyunjin dragged Jisung to psychotherapist and addiction specialists while the other members cleared out Jisung's room.

You are no longer in his room, there is nothing connected with you there anymore.

“Jisung, Y/N wouldn’t like it that you became a drug addict.”

"There is no more Y/N, which means I don’t care about myself."

His eyes are full of pain, he hasn’t cried since your death, the tears just won’t come.

"It's like I died with her"

"Bro, you need to move on with your life for her sake, she would want that."

"What's the point if it doesn't exist?"

"You're destroying yourself"

Jisung doesn't care.

He walks a lot, he doesn't eat and he writes a lot, he wrote so many lyrics.

Felix spoon feeding Jisung is so wrong.

He needs to learn to take care of himself.

No one else will be as caring as you.

Han Jisung will never cry, because he sees you regularly, he practically doesn’t miss you anymore.

After a while he will return to drugs again, it just hurts him. he misses.

And again he will go to a narcologist and psychotherapist.

And again, again, again. It's a vicious circle.

He doesn’t want you to leave, stay with him some more. He can't handle it.

Lee Felix

"You are very beautiful today, Y/n"

"Lixie, I feel worse every day... don't say that."

"But you are so beautiful..we will get out together"

He lied, you won't get out. He lied to you and himself.

He forbade the doctors to tell you about your condition. Everything was handed over to him personally.

He knew you didn't have much time left.

On your last day, he baked you your favorite cookies, as if he felt that you would leave him.

He wasn't ready.

Late in the evening, he fed you cookies and read your favorite book, you squeezed his hand tightly.

"Felix, I love you very much...you are my happiness, freckle"

Your last words. The sun has gone out, the world is falling apart.

Changbin and Minho led him out of the room; other participants were already waiting in the corridor.

It was so painful and empty, as if happiness had disappeared. You disappeared.

He returned to the dorm, his request to return to your apartment was refused.

You refused to be hospitalized until the very end, but Felix still managed to drag you to the hospital. You even felt better.

He was lying on his back in a cold bed, it was cold without you.

This will be his first birthday without you.

He doesn't want to celebrate it.

Your stuffed animal was lying on his bed, he held it tightly in his hands.

It hurt, he was all alone now.

This will go on for several weeks. Felix doesn't remember anything, like stills from a movie.

Members constantly come to see him.

He pretends to live, and is even happy that it’s his birthday. His first birthday without your presence.

He doesn't want it that way.

"Felix, let's go, you need to take a walk."

Chan lifted Felix out of bed, washed him, changed him and fed him. Felix is so grateful to Chan.

Chan drove Felix to your apartment, he said he would pick Felix up later.

Everywhere there was the smell of you and your love, on the table there was food for Felix and the usual note. The bed is rumpled.

He fell to his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks. it absolutely hurt, he felt nothing but pain.

For some reason, for the first time he felt so painful and sad. In general, Felix is very vulnerable, but...

He never imagined how he would cry over the loss of someone.

He couldn't even contact your family.

You had no family or friends; you were abandoned as a child. Felix and SKZ were the only people close to you.

You never really wanted to tell Felix about your family, it was too painful to remember.

He so wanted to hug you, stroke your pretty cheeks and tell you that everything is good in this world. you have nothing to fear.

You loved it when he hugged you and smiled brightly.

He always lied.

He always lied and said that your condition was improving.

Did he regret that he lied? No

He was delaying the moment of death for you.

He put on your huge sweater, your bright smell is on it. He loves this smell so much.

He loves you so much.

Loving people don't leave. stupid lie.

Why does it hurt so much? Why does it hurt so much to love someone?

Then Chan took him, Felix might feel better for a few days.

Felix will even appear at a fashion event.

But...

You will have to bury two coffins, he will die after you.

Felix realized that it was so stupid... it was stupid to live without you.

You will find him in the afterlife, right?

" Lee Felix 15.09.2000–08.10.202*"—"Lee Y/N 01.01.2000–08.09.202*"

Kim Seungmin

You were strangled in an alley while returning home.

Kim didn't have time to meet you.

He blamed himself and only himself.

Your body was found only in the morning.

Pale suits you, dear.

Seungmin looked at you as usual, like you were the eighth wonder of the world...why did you go to that alley?

No, Seungmin never cries.

He did not ask for the support of his members or the support of his family, he will cope on his own, as always.

He will become closed and taciturn. The company won't even release a statement about his rest.

He will throw himself into his work, he will work day and night.

The members are too worried about his condition.

Seungmin doesn't feel anything anymore, he doesn't feel joy, sadness, or pain.

As if the body exists separately from him. Inside he is nobody.

He returns to your shared apartment only a few weeks later, his lips frozen: “Y/N, I’m home.”

But there was no one at home except him.

The apartment is dark and cold, it was so empty without you.

On the dresser he will find an envelope with a letter, you left him one every time when he returned late.

It said: “I love you very much, Kim Seungmin. Come to me in my dreams.”

This was not as usual, you had never written to him like this.

Everything that had accumulated over several weeks came out.

Seungmin hates crying, he never cries.

Tears flow limply down his face as he presses the paper to his chest.

You won't come back anymore, it's time to get used to it.

He will find your album with photos, he is so in love with you.

Then he will fall asleep and see you in his dreams for the first time. Thank you for coming.

then you told him to move on... but how to live without you?

For the first time, he felt unbearable pain and despair.

He will write songs about you, breathing you and living in the past.

Why does Kim Seungmin continue to live?

Yang Jeongin

Baby, he killed you himself.

How did it happen?

"I could be a better boyfriend than him"

He was always very jealous of you, but to the point of killing you?

This is a terrible case.

Jeongin has no regrets, you're mine or nobody's

No one will know about this, it is disguised as an accident. What a pity.

Perhaps he will be bored.

He's so bored without you

A few times he will come to your grave, it's quite rude.

He keeps all your things with him, he will never be missed, you are nearby.

tell me why did you kill her?

“Jeongin, why don’t you miss her?”

"She is forever in my heart"

It's like he's lying.

"I killed her simply because I was so jealous." Pure confession

He might even cry to show that he misses you.

You don't want to look for it in the next life, a very cruel death at the hands of a loved one.

And Jeongin won’t look for anyone else, because he loves YOU.

Sometimes his conscience torments him, but he did it for the good.

[toastnpretzels]

home

relationships: crosshair x reader

masterlist

word count: 733

warnings: angsty, fluff, there's an unexplained relationship between the reader and crosshair, kinda left it up to interpretation whether you think they were together before or if it was just them having feelings for each other.

season 3 episode 4 spoilers

author's note: i have not posted a fic in so long. ive been so busy but that doesnt matter. the new episode had me feeling some type of way so here you go. its kinda short but i didnt want to expand without seeing hunter and wrecker's reaction to crosshair being back.

thank you for any support whether its likes, reblogs, or comments <3

“I had help.”

The last few months had been terrible. From losing Tech and then losing Omega to the empire. Spending everyday looking for her with no success. Nothing was ok. All of us were miserable. Our family was being torn apart and there was nothing we could do about it. It couldn’t have gotten any worse.

Getting the comm from Omega was one of the best things to ever happen to us, but seeing her running down from the ship was even better. Embracing her, knowing she was safe, felt better than anything had. Things were starting to feel right again. All it took was one hug from Omega.

But then he walked off the cargo ship and everything in my body froze. He looked so different. He had been gone for so long that I thought the feelings had disappeared. Seeing him there, I knew they never were.

I forgot what it was like to be near him. I forgot how my heart sped up and how my head felt dizzy. I forgot how he smelled and how warm he was. I forgot how much I loved him.

-

After Kaller, nothing was ever the same. He wasn’t the same. The chip had changed him. The Empire had changed him.

He let us go on Kamino. The same day you had told him you loved him. On the platform before we left, with tears in my eyes. I told him I loved him.

“You shouldn’t.”

“Crosshair, please,” you whispered. He could hear the way your voice was breaking. You couldn’t lose him again.

When he didn’t say anything, you turned to walk away. Typical Crosshair to not say anything. He grabbed your wrist as you started walking.

“I love you.”

You stared at him. Your tears threatened to spill out from his confession.

“But I can’t come with you. You deserve better. This is where I want to be. With the Empire.”

I should have dragged him to the ship. I should have done more. But what more could you do when he didn’t want to be there. He wanted to be with the Empire.

Why couldn’t he have just came with you that day?

-

No one moved. Everyone was just as shocked to see him. No one knew what he was going to do, how he was going to react. He had tried to kill us before, but he had also let us go. No one trusted him anymore. You chose to remember how he had let us go.

You were the first one to move. Slowly, I stepped out from behind Wrecker. Every step I took towards him was filled with anxiety. It had been too long.

He doesn’t want to see me.

Is he still him?

Why did he come then?

Why would he still be here if he didn’t want to be?

You stopped a few feet in front of him. I could see how tired he looked from where I was standing. I couldn’t stand seeing him like this. It hurt so much. He had been through so much since Kamino.

What did they do to him?

I couldn’t stand there anymore. I ran the few feet that were left in between us. I wasn’t sure if he would push me away. As I got close to him, I fell right into his arms. I didn’t realize just how much I had missed him until this moment. He wrapped his arms around me in the tightest embrace I’ve ever had. It had been too long since I had felt him. He was safe. He was here.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered after a few minutes, so quietly that you barely heard it.

I looked up at him. He had tears that were threatening to spill over. Your heart broke at the look on his face.

“Shh. Not now. Just let me hold you.”

You stood there for what felt like an eternity just holding each other. Quiet tears were spiling from both of your eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered into your hair. His arms tightened around you again, as if he was afraid you would disappear.

It would be hard to forgive. Hard for everyone, not just you. So much had happened. But for now, all that mattered was that him and Omega were safe. Omega was home. Crosshair was home.

“I love you too.”

[starlightskyshine]

Takara's treasure!

I've been missing them a lot, so I just finished rewatching the whole series, with so many thoughts and feelings, I decided to write about some details and things I really like about the drama and some interpretations!

Takara leaves the marbles that Taishin gave him in plain sight, away from his collection and in a place where he can always see them. Love that every time he thinks about him, misses him, and always watches them, that Taishin only has eyes for him??? that he wants Taishin with him all the time??? put him in his pocket???

Taishin slowly making his world bigger. How we start with just the photo of Okame-kun, a familiar place, then in EP 3 is the same picture but now with the marble that Takara gives him! New, exciting things, then in the final episode, in his second year of university, he is now more comfortable, he has a new bigger picture frame, his friends, and the picture with Takara now that they are boyfriends, Okame-kun and of course the marble.

Also the parallel of Taishin talking to his mom, between EP 1 and the special episode, how she first tells him to be careful, not to hang out around the "wrong" crowd and in the special how he reassures her that Tokyo is not that scary :')

The scenes that don't appear in the series but are in the opening?hopefully with the new DVD/bluray (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )づ♡

I love that we get a new pic added with each episode at the ending :')

Every time they kiss, Takara holds Taishin's face/neck, like give Takara a mic, we need answers

The size/height difference, in the manga and drama, nailed it! especially in ep 7 when they enter the ramen shop, like you can barely see Taishin behind Takara. I also love the details in this scene, Takara taking the chair out for Taishin and passing him the chopsticks!!!!

How Takara first leaves the marbles on top of the pouch they came in like he wants Taishin close but the uncertainty, fear(?), he then puts them in another place, closer to him and now in a glass dish, Taishin having a more permanent space in Takara life, he wants Taishin to be close to him despite all!;;; and at the end of the special episode Taishin marbles are now mixed with some of his(?) :')

Taishin wears a lot of blue during all the episodes, the bird that he wanted to show Takara during their first date was a small blue bird that it will you happy if you can see it, perhaps, they didn't see them that day, because the little blue birdy was already at Takara side making him happy. (also the way blue has been part of Takara life too? in his happiest moments! His grandpa is wearing a blue jacket when he gives him the Ramune and the marble, when they go hiking together for the first time, now small Takara is the one wearing a blue jacket)

Takara slowly adding cushions to his bed until it's finally two pillows, I didn't noticed before and thanks to this post (I'm crying, thank you so much for this info) I can't stop thinking about this, the details ಥ‿ಥ

I love that in the drama they gave Taishin buying/wearing the earrings more importance than in the manga, I still can't get over how Takara looked at him at the end of episode 2 (⁠´⁠°⁠ω⁠°⁠｀⁠)

I love Taishin's mom and her radishes, please I need to see her finally giving Takara one, also adored that the radish she didn't give to Taishin childhood friend, Daisuke, made it all the way to Tokyo with Taishin, I laughed so much when I saw it peeking from Taishin bag when he entered the apartment because it was indeed Taishin backpack that she was putting it in lol

Love how the shop owner knew what was happening from the beginning, mvp

Talking more about colors! Is so nice how we get from one pallet of colors for each character until they start mixing together. Takara mostly uses muted colors, Taishin is the opposite with his bright color wheel until we can see Takara wearing brighter colors, while Taishin is using more black/grey, even the cups they drink!

Love their communication and how much they can tell with just their eyes (the director was so right in describing Yoji's eyes as treasures and Eito's as marbles). They make each other so happy and always reassure one another :') <3

Also, just a random fact! Yoji and Eito were the main leads in different music videos for the same artist! Meant to be! Casting director, I hope you had an awesome bonus! (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

[poetry-protest-pornography]

This is very rambly-y because I am very tired, so bear with me, but I can't stop thinking about Jack and Joker.

Specifically, about Jack and Joker and the absence of choice

Do I wish Jack had time to confront Joke's absence from his life and feel that pain, absolutely (I argue that he got to speed run that experience in that moment right after Amma said he'd been taken, but it would have been infinitely more satisfying to have it drawn out. To find a shirt left behind, or an empty place on a table)

I wish he'd had to sit with that, and feel that grief and regret, and gone to bring Joke back to him only to find him missing.

I wish Joke had time to get angry, and that Joke's self flagellation had been given more acknowledgement and resistance than Hoy and Arun trying to stop him from physically hurting himself, because Joke has spent most of his life taking all the blame for every wrong thing, and I don't think anyone has ever told him that they shared or took responsibility for a wrong that Joke felt culpable for (with the exception of his dad, when he apologized at the school, which Joke immediately shut down and minimized and emphasized his own fault).

BUT

So much of this show is about the choices we don't have, and how we live in the space between those choices we don't get to make. The friends we make and keep, the little joys we find, the family traditions we keep up with.

The stories we tell ourselves to get through each day (here I'm thinking about Joke and his forgiveness campaign, and Jack and his 'this is for my grandma and my community' narrative, and Save and his 'i have to do this for Hope' that lets him justify his bad acts, and Tattoo trying to make something useful, and Hoy believing in the good of his friends, and Arun adjusting his whole life to fit into this new family, and Rosé telling herself she's a good person and not like those 'other' rich people, and Amma just loving her grandson and all her bonus grandkids).

And, crucially, Joke is one of the only characters who we see making choices that he isn't forced into by circumstance. (Sort of, but that's a whole other thing)

He chooses to be a thief to try to help expose corruption (and to get his parents attention, but that doesn't work until it does).

He chooses to help Jack, and when that has bad consequences for Jack, he chooses to turn himself in.

Joke chooses to pursue Jack in order to apologize -- he devoted 5 years of his life to the sole purpose of atoning.

He chooses to help Tattoo and Hoy. He chooses to live with these people and become a part of their lives. He chooses to work for forgiveness. He chooses to give up everything, if it means Jack is happy.

He chooses, and he still loses. He still hurts himself and the people he loves.

And Joke deserves to be chosen, this time.

He deserves to be fought for, and to be told that his pain matters. He deserves to know that he is worth choosing.

And I get that it feels like we might not see that -- that Joke might not get to hear that.

BUT

I think the show has left space for all of that.

I think that Jack -- Jack and all their friends -- coming for him means something.

Jack claiming him as his boyfriend, immediately and without hesitation, while defending him, means something.

The two of them facing Boss together for the first time, instead of coming at it from different angles and keeping secrets from each other while trying to solve The Boss Problem, means something.

I have not been disappointed by this show (hurt deeply, yes, but not disappointed!) and I don't think that they'll do it in the last episode either.

I think we saw Jack realize it was time to step up and give Joke the unwavering support and devotion that he gave to Jack, and that we are going to get the emotional payoff that we -- and Joke -- deserve, and that our happy ending will be emotionally satisfying and cathartic for us as an audience, and for these characters who so deeply deserve it.

Joke wants to move forward with honesty, and that doesn't just mean no lying; it means sharing what you're feeling, something they've both struggled with, and both promised to do better with. And both failed at.

But we've still got a whole episode left to see them choose each other, and to make sure that Joke knows he is loved as he is, and for Jack to get to apologize, and I think we're going to get it.

[destiny-aesthetics]

❗Long Rambling Incoming ❗

Disclaimer: Before this expansion I was by no means a regular player. Sometime I would have burst of playtime where I would jump on every week, other I would lose track of time and wouldn't touch it for months. I have also played this game since 2016. So ain't no New Light.

Might be the minority here but ...

I Hate how Episode: Revenant's story is being delivered.

So much time passes between Acts that I forget what happen during the first one, but somehow because it dropped all in the first day it also feels like things are progressing too fast.

It feels like, when it comes to story interactions, we capture Eramis and released her all in the same week instead of her being our custody for months.

The other episodes/seasons felt like our Guardian was active in the operations that the NPCs were doing, while this one it just feels like we're, ironically, just fetching things for NPCs.

Like we're waiting on our ship twiddling our thumbs until called on.

The "Fieldwork" also does not help in filling the story or the time. They are so short and easy that they become forgettable. Also does not help the audio was missing the first couple of weeks.

Onslaught also didn't do much for the story. I don't really feel like I'm saving Eliskni and the disjointed audio didn't help.

I get some players felt like they HAD to come back every week or wasn't patient enough to wait a week but this ain't it.

Best solution maybe ...

If this was a TV series with (15) 1-hour episodes, per season, give players the first (5) 1-hour episodes INSTEAD of (1) 1-hour long episode and (4) 10-minute long minisodes.

Players still get to finish whenever they want but it also has a good play time.

I shouldn't be finish with this Act in only 2 hours THEN have to wait 76 DAYS for more story.

AND most of that 2-hour run time was not even story. It is me going into the episode activity and then getting more dialogue afterwards.

And again, I believe I touch on this in previous post.

IT WAS NOT MANDATORY TO PLAY THE WEEKLY STORY MISSIONS.

You could have just as easily played everything else in Destiny 2 then jumped on the last week of the season, and played through the season story.

You didn't even have to do the story to get the season activities unlocked. AND they stopped locking previous season things after the new one began so realistically you could have completed them all before the next expansion.

No one has explain to me a good answer on WHY weekly missions were so hard for players and "I didn't want to have to jump on every week" or "I don't want a weekly story mission" is not a good answer when the options above were available.

Destiny 2 need something because there's a triangle of players, Casuals, No Lifers and Content creators, and when it good for two points it sucks for the last one.

Casuals are going to have to learn that they are going to miss out on things just because they don't play enough.

No lifers are going to have to learn that they're going to run out things to do because they do it all in a the first week or couple weeks.

Content Creators are going to have to learn to be entertaining without the game feeding constant steam of content or something now being easy because they made a boss melting build

........................

This post is already too long, so Destiny rambling part 2?

[selenityshiroi]

I know that Call the Midwife gets a little more cheesy and a little more on the nose each year...but it's good cheese and some issues need to be smacked on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

And every episode still has heart. Still makes you feel. Because it's always about people being people.

I rolled my eyes at the completely unsubtle romance they shoved in for Nancy (and what do you mean 'one day I'm gonna tell you I love you'??? It's been one date, lad!) but also cried at that convict saying goodbye to his mum.

I know, at some point, they really aren't going to be able to continue the show. But until then I'm going to get my annual dose of real human emotions from watching it.

Also the Turner family continues to give me warm fuzzies and it's so cute that the kids we've watched growing up in this show now have plots and lines, Phyllis Crane is still the greatest person who has ever existed, I hope Trixie's plane never leaves (clearly she's gonna be back for some episodes, from the preview), I'm glad Reggie is back for some episodes and I wonder if we'll see Tim for any at all, I hope that man who has it in for Sister Jullienne steps on a lego and then chokes and dies how dare he (but are we going to get new, more relaxed habits for the nuns to make them more approachable?), I genuinely forgot that Sister Veronica was midwife trained and not just a social worker, the Cyril and Rosalind plot is obvious but I wonder how they will handle the Lucille of it all, Miss Higgins and her grandson bonding is so sweet (even with how heartbreaking it was to see her find and lose her son)...and, well, here's to the show making me cry with some character who has like 15 minutes of screen time for another season!

[utilitycaster]

I think this is the last I have to say about it, certainly not until new episodes air, but the thing about What The Fuck Is Up With That is that it's emblematic of the issues Bells Hells have - and to be honest I suspect always might have - regarding trust. It's a party game. It's a fun way to get surface-level answers. It's an infodump. It's telling not showing. It's not a bad thing, but you don't build trust, actually, by providing every piece of information! In fact, sometimes, it's good to keep your inside thoughts inside! You build trust with other people through your actions: through keeping your word, through proving your ability to do what they expect of you. Perhaps this is a personal experience and not a universal tenet, but people who share everything about themselves right away and people who end up being genuinely reliable and close and trustworthy are often two nearly entirely separate camps.

This also does once again feel like something with an interesting echo within the fandom. Earlier on in the campaign, before the introduction of 4-Sided Dive, I received a lot of questions about whether it would be helpful if we had something like Talks and my response was usually "no, the issue is that I know everything about the backstory and not actually much anyone's motivations; I have a factual list of personal history and I'm looking for a sense of someone's personality." This still comes up occasionally when I talk about Laudna, whose motivations remain hazy much of the time; we have a quite detailed outline of her history but it is missing the only things that actually matter. We know what. We don't know why. Bells Hells knows so much what about each other and they still struggle, even now, with "why".

And when it comes to why, telling people is nice, but it's very easy to lie about motivations. Indeed, that's why Imogen ends up fooled by her mother; she knows what Liliana did but assumed there was a deeper why than there ended up being; that Liliana wasn't simply seduced by the idea that Predathos would free her and Imogen from the burden of their powers but was also working as a force for good within the Vanguard and wouldn't hurt so many people. The revelation that the "why" really was that simple was ultimately why Imogen felt betrayed. Knowing more details about Liliana doesn't help.

Chetney ends up being the illustrative exception here, if that helps. He arrived late to the party. He never played What The Fuck Is Up With That. He even told them what he was there for (looking for Gurge) and lied about the "why" (werewolf reasons) initially. He to this day keeps secrets. But he's open about keeping secrets. That caginess allows him to be one of the party members most people trust on a fundamental level. They don't trust him to be kind, or generous per se; they don't even trust him to not hurt them. But they trust him to not hurt them intentionally, since he's repeatedly shown he will take steps to avoid this. He is cagey and uncooperative during most of the honesty exercise, but when he finally says something, it isn't a judgement - it is an explanation of his own behavior. When he declines to share his deal with Morri, he still reassures them that he did not do anything that would fall to them - and that's honest, and that's what matters, that he made a deal for himself and himself alone. Compare with Orym, who hides even the fact he made the deal, or Ashton a couple days ago, who hid their true plans with the shard. On the surface, Chetney is the one hiding something - but he is honest that he hides things. If Chetney's secret comes out? It won't change the party's understanding of his trustworthiness; it will just change some of the facts. If Orym's comes out or when Ashton's was revealed? That's a huge change in the party's understanding of their motivations.

Honesty in this party has been a game from the start, and as the exercises show, it still mostly is. A panopticon is, unsurprisingly, not a great way to make people trust each other; a little open hiding and actions over words are in order. I don't think that's necessarily a problem, in that I think Bells Hells share, if not a vast overreaching goal, an agreement regarding their pretty significant task. But I think any deeper trust is yet to be actually tested, tried, and forged.

[tia-amorosa]

Episode 1 "Where is Bella?" (Part 1, long)

Pleasantview Valley

It's just after midnight and the lights are still on in the Goth family home. It often happens that one or other resident of the house suddenly wakes up in the night because the relatives are once again haunting the garden. Only one ghost has not yet appeared… one who would be much more welcome here than all the others.

Until a few years ago, there was still a lot of music and happy laughter in this house. A harmonious family life. Mortimer and Bella lovingly looked after their children. Even if the family always seemed a little strange to others at first glance, they were well respected in the neighborhood.

Everything was fine until one evening when Bella not came home. Mortimer was very worried and called the police. A few days later he received a phone call. In a distorted voice, he was informed that his wife had been kidnapped. He then set everything in motion to find her again. Weeks, months passed… He completed all the tasks set for him by the callers… Until one day he suddenly heard nothing more from them.

The police had launched a nationwide search. Cities, forests, everywhere they searched for Bella, but it was in vain. They couldn't even find her under a different name. Until the search was finally called off and she was declared missing and dead.

Today, Mortimer sits alone at the table with his children at mealtimes. Over the years, grief has made him grow older faster than is normal. There are even rumors that he has found himself a new lover, but this is only discussed behind closed doors. We are in the present day and there was a late visit.

���Dad, it's getting late, you need to sleep and take your medication"/ ”I know that myself, Mr. Littleton was just about to leave anyway. You'd better check on your brother again, he's not sleeping well at the moment, that's not good for his performance at school"/ ”Hm, mhm. Goodbye, Mr. Littleton"/ ‘Goodbye, Cassandra’.

Cassandra went into her little brother Alexander's room. He was completely upset again: “Hey, what happened again?”/ “Great-grandmother Prudence always makes those horrible noises with the chains”/ “hey, it's okay. I'll talk to her again, 0.k.?"/ ‘Mhm. will you stay with me for a while?’/ ‘hn..of course’.

She pulled the armchair closer to the bed, as she always did when her little brother couldn't sleep. “At least they listen to you, why not me?"/ ”You have to be more assertive. Besides, you're still little, they've always annoyed me too, our father too"/ ‘and mom?’/ ‘No - not mom, they always liked her somehow’…

“Do you think mom is a ghost too?"/ ”Mh, maybe. “/ “then why isn't she with us, all Goths are always together, whether dead or alive”/ “so you wouldn't care whether she's alive or not?”/ “hm, not like that either… But somehow it does, the main thing is that she's with us"/ ”mhm. Now close your eyes, 0.k.?"/ ‘Good night, Cassy’.

After her brother fell asleep, she left the room. Her father was on his way to bed himself. “Has he calmed down again?"/ 'Yes. Have you…"/ ”I've taken my tablets, yes. It's late, you should be asleep too. “/ “in a minute. “/ “who was it this time?”/ “Prudence, you know how she is sometimes” / “hh yes. What time will you be home tomorrow?"/ ‘Maybe a bit later than usual’/ ”Mhm. Good night.”

. Cassandra has always coped well with little sleep. So she uses the nights to devote herself to her work. “I know you're dead, mom. But your soul is out there somewhere… I'm in contact with the brothers every day, I can't get any further in the institute on my own, and they're the best in their field that I could get through an insider. We will find you”.

She went outside to take care of the garden plants. “Hi, Grandpa Gunther"/ ”Hello Cassandra. You're busy again"/ ”Someone has to do it, eh? And you, are you watching the news on the internet again?"/ ‘I have to keep the other side up to date, they're crazy about the latest gossip’/ ‘hnhn, have fun’…

Once the plant had been tended to, she turned her attention to her great-grandmother Prudence's grave. “You don't dare go out today, do you? Don't forget that Alex tells me everything. And once our mother is back here, you won't be so quick to get the chains out. I'll find her, we,…, these boys the only ones I'm not afraid of being ripped off, i trust them.”

“Good night, Grandpa, I'm going to sleep now“/”Sleep well…. My goodness, what are they up to? We never used to have anything like this. Oh, the latest soccer results, that's important of course…”. Cassandra had to smile as she left the dining room. Her grandfather spent a lot of time on the computer when he came to visit. In this house, you never know who might drop by the next night.

@greenplumbboblover, @plumbobgothica , @solorisims😊

NOTE: The two pictures you see at the beginning (from the past) were two pictures that were in Mortimer's album. That gave me a lot of inspiration for the story. :) I hope you liked the first episode. The interval between episodes will be irregular. So you'll have to be a little more patient with this story :) If anyone wants to be tagged when a new episode is published, please let me know. My story posts are also welcome to be shared.🙂😊

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

When Friends Drift Away…

Previous fantape:

Riley patched up the demon. It quickly ran away afterwards. Is it because Amanda trusts me now? Riley wonders. It’s confusing. Riley was certain that Amanda’s demon was afraid of the other one, whom Riley assumed belonged to Wooly. But Wooly’s is so violent. Riley thinks, shuddering as they remember Joanne. Wooly… I think he tends to bottle a lot of things up. He’s clearly trying to put on a brave face for Amanda… but I don’t think she likes being lied to… even if it’s for a good reason. Riley thinks to themselves. They pull out the newest tape. Amanda did not make this puzzle easy. I need to find all these tapes so Hameln doesn’t destroy them, but I can’t do that if they destroy me first… Riley puts the tape into the VCR and it plays. 

Amanda and Wooly are on a boat in the middle of a lake. Amanda sits there pouting while Wooly looks back and forth between us and her nervously. 

“Hi friends, I’m Wooly!” 

“And I’m Amanda.” she grumbled. 

“That just felt… so wrong.” 

“Shut up Wooly.” 

“Aww…” 

“Today we have another letter from a friend at home! This time it’s from… Esmerelda… Sanchez… dear Amanda and Wooly, I used to have a friend… We used to be really really close like… best friends. But then… she got adopted and moved far away… we talked on the phone every night… until I moved away and lost her number. Then I couldn’t find her again. I really really really miss her. Amanda, what do you do when friends drift away?” Amanda falls quiet. “Esme… I… remember you now…” 

“Amanda-”

“I used to have a lot of friends! But they’re all gone now! You know a lot of my friends used to watch my show, because I was on it, they said. They used to tell me it was so cool seeing me on tv! Haha! If any of them are still… alive… they’re probably all adults by now! So we aren’t friends anymore!” 

“I’m sure if you ran into them again you could still be friends.” 

“Nah… we’re totally different now. They grew up… and I didn’t.” She pauses, but before Wooly can say anything she says, “We probably would have totally different hobbies and stuff to talk about. Like totally different people! It’s fine!” 

“But that’s sad…” 

“Mmm… I guess… It can make you feel pretty lonely. But… I like to think of this little dream I used to have. That if everything went the way my dad wanted, one day years from then, even if we weren’t friends anymore… maybe she’d find some old tapes of the show at a yard sale or something and show them to her kids. Then she’d brag to them about how she used to be best friends with Amanda for real. Hey, maybe I’d be showing my kids this show to… if it were a project I could be proud of…” 

“And maybe… you would run into each other at the grocery store or something and become friends again. Li-like not the same as before… but like with your new hobbies and stuff it’d be like a brand new friendship all over again.” 

“Yeah, I like that idea.” Amanda giggles, “Thanks for the question Esme! I hope I see you again someday!” The credit song starts to play, then stops. “You didn’t think that was the end did you? Haha I wish! I’m still stuck on this dumb boat! With him!”

“Hey!” 

“It’s the worst possible place to end an episode on, what is this a horror-story?” Amanda groans, “it might as well be!” 

“Amanda! That’s not very nice!” 

“So we’re going fishing today! And Wooly’s the bait!” 

“Amanda, stop it!” 

“Maybe if we’re lucky he’ll get eaten by a shark. Nom-nom!” 

“AMANDA!” Wooly screams. The tape glitches. “UGH! What is your problem lately? Why is it that no matter what I do, things never go back to the way they used to?!”

“Oh gee, I don’t know Wooly? Maybe because it’s literally your fault?!” 

“WHAT DID I DO?!” 

“What did you do? What did you DO?! Heh heh… haha… that’s funny Wooly. Almost as funny as your stupid face!” she suddenly lunges at him but the tape glitches and stops her. “I ALMOST got my memories back! I almost got to talk to someone again! Someone I knew! Someone who knew me! And you messed it all up!”

“But you did get your memories right?” 

“Yeah. After Kate was DEAD!” Amanda screams. “And the worst part is she almost found a way for us to get out of here and you RUINED it!” 

“I-” 

“And then when I asked you how you knew we were going to escape, you had the NERVE to bring it up like it wasn’t your fault in the first place!” 

“Amanda I-” 

“So no Wooly, things will never go back to the way they used to!”

“I’m sorry! I just didn’t want to be alone again!” Wooly cries. 

“Wha-” 

“That day when we remembered we were human… we still didn’t know who we were or what was going on… just that we were trapped… I was… terrified… but you… even though you were surely scared too… you made me feel like everything was going to be alright… that no matter what things were going to turn out fine… that we were going to get out of here.” Wooly explains, gently stroking his right ear then moving over to the left, “But then this sinking feeling came over me. You would certainly get out of here… not me… I’d get left behind again… all alone in this stupid h---.” 

“Wooly…” 

“I didn’t want to remember that feeling… I didn’t want to let you go…” 

“Every time Kate said something that caused me to remember something you’d always change the subject, get back on topic with the episode. Every time I tried to call for help… you’d silence me…” 

“I’m sorry I was just… so scared… didn’t want to lose my first friend… but that was selfish of me. I know it was… I’m a horrible friend…” 

“You are.” 

“I deserve to be left here all alone…” 

“Wooly no on-” 

“Remember our first episode together? Hide and Seek? Remember what things were like back then?”

“Yeah… that was also the tape where… years later we first disco-” 

“I’m talking about the first time… you were outgoing and kind… always ready for an adventurer. And I was shy, awkward, and always hiding in your shadow. Trailing behind you like a baby duckling. Funny… since I’m supposed to be the older one.” Wooly chuckled, “I just wanted things to stay that way… stay the way they were then…” 

“Wooly-” 

“Just let me finish. Then you can choose to never listen to me again, okay? I was selfish… I know that now. I thought if I just played my part I could convince myself I was happy here. But that was wrong of me. I’m sorry… I don’t know if or how I’ll ever make it up to you but… I want you to know that I’m going to make sure you get out of here. Whether it takes us 2 months or 20 more years. I will find a way… to make it up to you… I will get you out of here… you will get out of here.” 

“We will get out of here.” Amanda corrects him, giving him a big hug. 

“Amanda?”

“Things won’t be the same as before. We’re different people now… but maybe… we can start all over again? Make a brand new friendship?” 

“Yeah… I’d like that.” Wooly said, accepting Amanda’s hug. She pulls away from the hug and pulls out her hand.

“Hi I’m Ama-” she pauses, “I’m Rebecca. Wanna be friends?” 

“It’s nice to meet you, Rebecca. I’m William. I’d love to be friends!” Wooly beams shaking her hand. They turn and notice the sunset over the horizon of the lake. “Hey you finally got to see your sunset!” 

“Yeah… I did…” Amanda sighs happily. The tape ends and falls out of the machine. 

Amanda and Wooly are friends now. That’s great. Riley thinks. Esmerelda Sanchez… she must’ve been one of Amanda’s old friends… Riley tried to type the name into their phone but stopped. It's not like I’d know which one was the right one… and then what? If she is alive she’s probably an adult by now just as Amanda said… Then they think about the other thing Amanda said: “the worst part is she almost found a way for us to get out of here and you RUINED it!” Riley wondered what this way out was. Well clearly it didn’t work… and Kate lost hope in that plan so… it’s probably not too useful but I wish I knew what it was… I’m glad those two are friends now… Amanda is going to need someone by her side if things go… south… Riley stops and looks at their texts. Three more tapes to go… I should probably start looking…

See, I had a feeling this tape would actually go better here. Amanda and Wooly might fare better if they make up now rather than later. I told you this episode was going to be better. And it seemed like you guys (the readers) needed this now.

I honestly find it more interesting to see Wooly as someone whose not evil but not in the right either. Wooly in the games could definitely be working for Hameln and still be morally grey. He could be doing it out of fear rather than loyalty.

Personally, in retrospect I don't really like when kids shows lead kids to believe that friendship is FOREVER. Sometimes friends really do just drift apart and go their own places in life. I tried to show both sides in this. That yes, some bonds can be repaired but others can't.

Since a lot of you are probably wondering, yes, Esme is actually still alive. But Amanda's probably never going to see her again and Amanda's okay with that. In fact, she sees it as something that would've happened regardless of whether she got trapped or not. It's just life.

Honestly, Amanda and Wooly's perspectives on this are supposed to parallel each other. Where Amanda is fine with letting her old friends go and accepting change, Wooly was absolutely terrified, and the more he tried to hold on, the more their relationship soured. He held on so tight he squeezed the life out of their friendship.

So I tried to show both sides. Some friendships just drift apart... and others can be repaired.

Next:

[igglemouse]

Through blood, pain, and tears, here she is. Ten fingers and toes and two eyes and ears and completely adorable! Florencia Lola Alcocer Varela is her full name but to keep it short and simple she is Florencia Alcocer and I should add that she is just a little fussy right now but try to imagine being in her position? Everyone knows how hard labor is, how difficult it is to bring life into the world, but no one talks about how hard it is to be born! I guess because no one truly remembers it.

Oh, that's right, you're probably wondering what Pascal was up to? Well, he did miss most of her birth but he did come late into the night after she was born and he was excited to meet her! He, a little surprisingly I should add, started his morning with her too. Talking to her and playing with her and getting her to wriggle and coo. I really hope this is the start of a beautiful relationship and it is nice to see that he delayed his usual morning routine to spend time with her.

I'm glad he spent some time with her but it did not take long before he was on his treadmill again, as you might have expected already. Morning workouts are a ritual for him and I've learned nothing stops it. NOTHING. We could be in the middle of a nuclear and I firmly believe he'd still find some way to push his legs and lungs and keep active. I think it is a mental thing for him. Like, meditative even? Either way, some mornings I do pop in to bother him.

"She is amazing, isn't she?" I ask him as he pounds away on the machine, the pounding of his feet is my only response until he can gather his breath for an actual reply.

"Y-yea! Yeah! She is!" He pants out, not looking over at me, keeping focused.

"What do you think of the name? I know we didn't agree on one but-"

"I l-love it!" he says, keeping it short and sweet. This would have bothered me normally but he is currently running. I think he keeps the setting on ten or however high it can go.

"You know, if she takes one thing from you I hope it's how hard you work," and I mean that sincerely. The guy is a machine.

He sort of chortles at that, picking up the pace even more. "And she will only make me work harder..."

I like the sound of that but is that possible with him?

This whole mama thing is new to me so be patient! I'm sure I'll make mistakes but I feel like I'm on the right track. Her diet will be milk milk and more milk of course and I've decided to handle that naturally, for now at least. It feels like one of the first big decisions I have to make and its about her health. A well fed baby is one that will grow after all!

But it is also important that I get a lot of time to relax myself. If Flora is napping, as she is right now, then it is the perfect time for me to nap as well. I certainly need it. I'm tired, hurting, and yet for some reason happy? I feel like I've been tortured and yet I'm smiling about it. Flora being born has a lot to do with that but I could not have expected any of this when I moved here to Oasis Springs. I thought life for me would continue to be a struggle, continue to fight every day just to put a smile on my face but it's been the opposite. Yes, things with Pascal have not been perfect but chasing perfection is a fools errand.

While Flora will be my #1 priority moving forward I still don't want to be stagnant. The idea of having a simtube channel would provide me work on my own time and hopefully give me some financial independence. I don't want to be the domesticated wife getting an allowance after all.

So I move forward with that plan by calling Mr. Booker. Remember him? He runs a pretty big simtube channel and through what was at first a rocky relationship we have somehow become friends. He seems eager to share a few tips and tricks to getting started too!

But like I said, Flora is my everything now and I'll make sure her room is just perfect for her. I'm not sure how she slept through all of the vacuuming but I'll keep every speck of dust out of her room!

But mama is still going to keep to her goals too! I'll try and trim some of the baby weight I've gained off of me because it is simply healthy to do so and it gives me something else to do right now. I kind of feel like I have to with how hard Pascal works it is kind of motivating! I won't be as dedicated as he is, who can be? But, I'll do what I can with the time I have.

When I make it back home I check in on Flora and make sure she's fed, happy, and clean, and then realize I've almost forgotten to eat myself! Has that ever happened to you? Get so busy that you forget to eat or shower or something like that? Any ways, I try a new recipe for today, lemongrass chicken!

And it is amazing! Just the right amount of savory and sweet and definitely filling!

I am reminded though that I need to have a conversation with Pascal about a few things. Just life in general things. He's been working all day of course but as soon as he gets home, which will be late, but it is a conversation that needs to be had.

So when he comes home I am all over him although I can tell he looks exhausted and heads right for the bed. I can only imagine how much he pushes his body, playing a sport at a high level is no joke, but it is funny that I'm the one sweating and he's not. ANY WAYS, I do talk to him about my whole Simtube thing and now he's a lot more open to it. "I do think it's a really good idea after thinking about it some more," he says.

"Oh?" I'm surprised he thought about it at all.

"Yeah, it keeps you here with Flora, that's really all I want. I know we've been through this before but I don't want her mom being too busy for her."

I pause, stopping myself from the obvious rebuttal. He's the one too busy for, well, EVERYONE. Not me. I take a deep breath and calm myself. "Do you think I'd put work ahead of her?" I am just a little insulted here! "Pascal I-"

"Noo! I just...you know, I'm traditional. I want you to be here with her, I don't want her being raised by a nanny even if I could afford it you know?"

"Yeah..." that is reasonable but... "Maybe not a nanny I agree but maybe we can look into a maid service?"

"I actually want to talk to you about something." He tells me, which surprises me and scares me a little but the smile on his face tells me it is good news, hopefully.

"Y-yeah?"

"My contract has been extended," I have no idea what it means but it sounds like good news. "So, I'm staying here, we're staying here, in Oasis Springs, and not only that but I think we're going to need a bigger place which yes, will include a maid!"

"Oh!?!?" Now that is exciting. I can't wait to look for new houses, big houses? Huge houses?!?! "Where will we-"

"I already bought the place actually! It's not amazing but it is at least not as cramped as this place. This is more like a fancy bachelor pad soooo I thought it was time to move on from this."

"Oh..." well, I wish we would have made that decision together but... "I can't wait to see it!"

You know, all things considered. Things are going really well!

Frida Varela - Next Episode 9 'Pascal's Wager'

[drinkabletoxicdishsoap]

If Dev ever does get redeemed in season 2 (PLEASE WATCH FAIRLY ODD PARENTS A NEW WISH WHEN IT DROPS ON NETFLIX NOVEMBER 14), I NEED to see Jasmine and Dev interact as friends 😭 We know how he feels about Winn (he thinks they’re really cool) and we DEFINITELY knows how he feels about Hazel 💀 but I don’t really think we got any interactions or like any mentions about how he feels about her in like any episode besides maybe him introducing Hazel to everyone?? I could be missing something and if I am please correct me!

In my personal opinion, I feel they’d be gossip besties?? I could definitely be reading into Jasmine’s character wrong and if I am, I apologize but I desperately need interactions with them 💔 they remind me of that one Henry Danger Musical song 😭 I think it’s called You’ll Never Believe What Happened (I’ll copy and paste the lyrics to match them and the situation)

Dev: Sorry it took me so—

Jasmine: Ooh, Dev, you'll never believe what happened!

Dev: No, I know.

Jasmine: There's a musical curse over Dimmadelphia!

Dev: Yeah, I know.

Jasmine: And you'll never believe who did it!

Dev: Irep? (I couldn’t think of a better replacement 😭)

Jasmine: Irep!

Dev: Yeah, I know.

Jasmine: Ooh, Dev, you'll never believe how he did it!

Dev: The speakers.

Jasmine: He took control of the speakers.

Dev: Yeah, I know.

Dev & Jasmine: And then put out a weird kind of frequency and now we have to sing!

Dev: Jasmine!

Jasmine: Yeah?

Dev: Thanks for filling me in.

Jasmine: Sure!

They also remind me of the smartphone hour if we’re going the gossip bestie route:

Jasmine: O-M-G Dev, answer me! Woah, wait until I tell you what I heard! It's too fucked to type. This shit is ripe! Call back, I'll yell you every word.

Dev: Jasmine Tran calling, Jasmine Tran calling, Jasmine Tran calling. Hey!

Jasmine: Oh my God, oh my God, okay so, at the end of last night's party, very end of last night's party, Did you see Rich? (I couldn’t think of a replacement ☹️)

Dev: Oh, I saw Rich.

Jasmine: So he's behaving hazy like a tweakin' junkie, flailing crazy like a freakin' monkey!

Dev: He's gotta learn to handle his high, shouldn't drink so much for a small guy.

Jasmine: Right, but, he wasn't drunk.

Dev: The hell you say, Jasmine?

Jasmine: Yo, he wasn't drunk!

Dev: The hell you say, Jasmine?

Jasmine: No! Because I heard from Whispers Fred (I tried to think of a good replacement), that Rich had barely touched a drop. Which means that you can't blame the things he did on alcohol. It's just so terrible, I don't want to relive it all! But do you want me to tell you?

Dev: Spit it out! Spit it out!

Jasmine: You really want me to tell you?

Dev: Spit it out! Spit it out!

Jasmine: I'll tell you 'cause you are my closest friend!

Dev: No I'm not.

Jasmine: Yeah, I know. But here's what happened at the party's end. Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! Woah! Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! Ohh, I thought I was dreamin', everybody was screamin', when Rich set a fire and he burned down the house! When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!

Sorry for another very long post but thank you so much for reading <3 I hope you have a great day or night!