#I MEAN THE ALBUM COVER IS ALIENS AND SPIRITS

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Alright here are ten more albums. These ones are just my personal picks. Some that you prolly don't know and some you definitely do. I think you should listen to all of them because I like them a lot and if you don't like them then I promise I will cry a little.

Lemon Demon - Spirit Phone

Okay so I know that half of you just checked out because this is a 'meme album' and you simply will not take me seriously no matter what but honestly if that's you then go fuck yourself. Anyway Neil Cicierega is an internet fixture. He has brought us animutation, The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny, Mouth Sounds, Potter Puppet Pals, Brodyquest, Ariel Needs Legs, and probably a lot of other things I'm forgetting. So it isn't really a surprise that his first full album under the Lemon Demon moniker in a decade went down as a piece of weird internet errata as well. The thing is, Spirit Phone is a fucking masterpiece.

The subject matter is the occult, conspiracy theories, urban legends, aliens, cryptids, and conservatives. Nothing too weird, but the way he tackles these subjects is. Let's take Cabinet Man for example, it plays on the urban legend of the haunted arcade cabinet Polybius. But Cabinet Man is told from the point of view of the machine itself. It's about a man who turns himself into an arcade cabinet and about his life as an arcade cabinet. The very next track, No Eyed Girl, is a doo wop styled love song written to a lovecraftian horror. And yes this is all very Quirky™ but Cicierega never wink at the camera, he never lets on that this is a joke. Just like unironically here's a song about sexualizing (even if he insists it isn't sexual) eating mummies. Why not? The frenetic pacing always keeps you off balance too so there is no way to get used to the weirdness other than to let yourself be subsumed by it.

"But wait!" I hear you saying "what was that thing about conservatism? What does that have to do with the occult?" I'm glad you asked because I think the funniest thing this album does is deliver three songs in a row that have nothing to do with the rest of the album's main themes. As Your Father I Expressly Forbid It, I Earned My Life, and Reaganomics all satirize American boomer conservatism. I think putting them there after all the conspiracy theory stuff is brilliant. The paranoid, surreal attitudes of the first half of the album contrasted against the equally paranoid and surreal attitudes of conservatives. Finally I just want to mention my number one favorite thing about this album and it's that I Earned My Life is written in the style of Paul Simon's Graceland. That makes me laugh. What an effortless takedown of a legendary artist and album.

Ween - The Mollusk

Ween are a pretty weird band. And my standards for what counts as weird are pretty high. So the fact that their least weird album is this nautically themed psychedelic hellscape isn't saying much. The Mollusk sounds how low tide smells. The album is like the rhyme of the ancient mariner but the albatross is replaced by hundreds of barnacles. It is a decaying mess, but it's also jaunty and fun. Purely stupid nonsense like Waving My Dick In The Wind and Dancing In The Show Tonight are placed side by side with the intense and horror tinged Golden Eel and Mutilated Lips.

Musically Ween are uncharacteristically cohesive. Sure they run the gamut of genres from intense proggy numbers to punk and alternative rock and some showtunesy stuff, but it's all mastered as wet as possible. By the way y'all know when I say a sound is wet I mean heavily processed as opposed to dry which is raw unprocessed audio right? There is copious reverb, chorus and especially phasing on every song until they all sound like waves crashing against a rock.

Perhaps the weirdest thing about The Mollusk is that it is, I think at least, the only Ween album to contain a straight cover. Cold Blows The Wind is just a folk song that Gener and Deaner just play dead straight. That is very unusual for a band that prefers to vaguely mock artists or styles rather than just do them. Of course that track is immediately followed by a song called Pink Eye On My Leg so don't take these guys seriously for too long.

Atom And His Package - A Society Of People Named Elihu

There is no other album that feels more like an inside joke among high schoolers that you aren't privy to the context for. Adam Goren repeatedly name drops his friends and talks about things very specific to his life. The album is a mess of unfettered id where no concept is dwelt on for very long and no hesitation is given before launching into something completely unrelated. The very first track contemplates a hypothetical Punk Rock Academy before losing track of itself and barreling full throttle into an interpolation of Eddie Money's Take Me Home Tonight. This kind of thing happens a lot. Me And My Black Metal friends interpolated Dexys Midnight Runners' hit Come On Eileen for no apparent reason other than that is what started going through Goren's head at the time. This album has three different birthday songs on it, the first of which has the refrain "Happy Birthday Ralph, I love you, even though you are fucking disgusting." Who is Ralph? You aren't asking the right questions.

Oh yeah and this album is entirely just a guy singing over a drum machine and keyboard. But it's also kind of a punk rock album. Atom And His Package don't sound super punk at first glance, but he has the ethos. And structurally, well there's a little more punk rock in here than you might expect. I'll stand by A Society Of People Named Elihu as a punk rock album because it's funny and I think that is what Adam Goren would want.

TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain

There's a lot of art rock out there that I'm totally in love with. But TV On The Radio are on a different level. They are extremely catchy, but also different than anything else around them. They exist somewhere in between 00s post punk revival and, uh honestly I don't know. I thought something would come to me as I was typing this. There is nothing to compare the unique use of drums and percussion to create both rhythmic and textural elements while the bass guitar makes up the majority of the melody. The members of the band all harmonize beautifully on vocals and when you break the songs down you find just a few instruments being layered into a looping, spiraling current of sound. A Method and Dirtywhirl especially sound like they are physically spiralling. They use looped percussion and bass, repetitive singsong vocals, and thrumming rhythms to create a completely unique sonic landscape that is both overwhelming and extremely addictive. It is too easy for me to finish this album and then put it back on again because there is nothing else that scratches the itch this album gives me.

Between The Buried And Me - Colors

I don't usually like to be this absolute, but Colors is my favorite metal album. Between The Buried And Me are consistently amazing but Colors is the best showcase of their range and fluidity with which they traverse various styles. At a base level Colors is a progressive metalcore album, a genre which has probably just turned a few people off of listening. But if you aren't usually into metalcore don't fear there is a lot more going on here than bad screaming and bad chugging. No BTBAM weave together intense thrash like riffing, high speed guitar solos, intense screaming, melodic jazzy solos, chromatic breakdowns, catchy clean vocal segments and frequent tempo changes with an artistry and ease that makes it hard to notice when the style does an abrupt change. Every linking segment is so natural that the tech death screams in Sun Of Nothing will transition to the melodic refrain without any sense of tonal dissonance. Even when you hit the end of Ants Of The Sky and hear them go into a full bluegrass hoedown it is just completely natural. No other album makes 10+ minute songs go by so fast. There are so many hour long metal albums out there that drag on for the sake of length alone and Colors just shits in their faces and proves that you can go on for an hour and keep an audience completely engaged the whole time.

They Might Be Giants - Lincoln

They Might Be Giants are a never ending supply of witty turns of phrase. Some are seemingly nonsequiturs like "tour the world in a heavy metal band / but they run out of gas the plane can never land" others are clever "which one of us is the one we can't trust / you say that I think it's you but I don't agree with that" and others seem like nonsense but probably mean something deeper if you just stop and think about it "how sleepless is the egg knowing that which throws the stone foresees the bone, the bone, our only home is bone". They will get at some wild themes lyrically while still maintaining an upbeat sound. That weird tonal gap is what makes songs like I've Got A Match and They'll Need A Crane into more than just songs about bad relationships. It helps obfuscate the actually bleakness of Lie Still Little Bottle, a song about being addicted to uppers. And it leaves you wondering about the seemingly pure goofy songs like Shoehorn With Teeth and Cowtown. Also you might be interested to know that Where Your Eyes Don't Go is a favorite song of local Tumblr Celebrity™ Neil Gaiman. So there's your seal of approval if you needed one.

Macintosh Plus - Floral Shoppe

Vaporwave is such a beautiful genre. It is a musical consomme where other songs are melted down until there is nothing left but the essence of the original piece. A distinctly recognizable flavor, but rendered into broth. The idea of taking a song and picking out very specific bits and then slowing them down repeating them over and over until you have turned the ten second sample into a five minute song is incredible.

Floral Shoppe is not the first, and maybe not even the best vaporwave record, but it is the blueprint that a lot of artists would seek to imitate. The track リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー (Lisa Frank 420 / modern computing) made some waves for having a very overt and recognizable sample and leading to people joking that the genre was just "Diana Ross slowed down". And derogatory as that sounds it is also true. The song is seven minutes of just the chorus of Diana Ross' It's Your Move looped, slowed down, and otherwise abused until it just isn't the same song anymore. What Floral Shoppe did was bring the idea of the transformative property of context to a wider audience. The question of authorship is essential to vaporwave. Most vaporwave artists will use one off monikers for albums. In fact Macintosh Plus is a one off project under the larger Vektroid umbrella. Vektroid herself is one of the most prolific and significant vaporwave artists out there and honestly I don't even think Floral Shoppe is her best work, but it is the most important.

But is it good? That's the real question. The philosophical implications of art are nice and all but is it good to listen to? Yeah it's extremely enjoyable. Listening to Floral Shoppe is like living in a slightly fucked up betamac tape that is playing commercials for new shopping malls. It captures a sense of nostalgia, but also warps it into a surreal dreamscape. Parts stutter, they loop just before the part of the song you know plays, they are repeated over and over until you feel like something is wrong. The nostalgia is recontextualized as something artificial. Like it is reminding you that the way you feel about the past is manufactured. Your memories are already corrupted by capitalism and if you could see through the matrix you would hear the broken mechanisms underneath.

The Field - From Here We Go Sublime

The Field is hard to pin down. While basically a tech-house project it is also quite a bit unlike other tech-house/minimal/ambient techno projects. I was enthralled the first time I ever put on this record. There's something ethereal about the heavily altered vocal samples. Every sound rendered distant and breathy. This is the sound of the sun glaring off of fresh snow in the winter. This is the sound that plays when you transcend your human body to become a being of pure energy. If the obelisk from 2001 A Space Odyssey was a DJ this is what it would play. It is impossible to not feel subsumed by this music, to want to just close your eyes and imagine you are floating. From Here We Go Sublime is one of the prettiest albums I have ever heard and I think even people who aren't into techno might be able to appreciate it.

The Streets - A Grand Don't Come For Free

Look me in the eye. I'm serious look at me. Mike Skinner is a good rapper. No I'm not joking. No I don't like this album "ironically". A Grand Don't Come For Free is one of my top ten hip hop albums of all time. Right up there with Nas and J-Dilla and Kanye and shit. Skinner's flow is unconventional and, at first glance, very bad. But what he is doing is incorporating a very casual conversational style into his rapping to help communicate the personalities and moods of the characters in the story.

Oh yeah by the way this is a concept album. It's about Mike, his two friends Dan and Scott, and his new girlfriend Simone. Mike loses 1000 pounds, gets really paranoid that one of his friends stole it, and then let's that paranoia ruin all of his interpersonal relationships. The album starts by setting up the list money and various aspects of Mike's life like his new romance and gambling addiction to set up the very everyman vibes. As Mike rambles through awkward small talk, bad decisions, bad relationships, and the slow burn out of his empathy he becomes actually really relatable. Every time Mike does something that is frustrating and stupid it just kinda endears him to me. I want to see this idiot do better. Even on Get Out Of My House where he is trying to explain to Simone that he wasn't at her place while she was hungover because he was picking up his epilepsy medication and is, by any reasonable account in the right, he sucks so hard at making his point that he still comes off as the asshole. This is punctuated by guest rapper C-Mone actually rapping much better than Mike on her verses. In fact how well a character is rapping is very much tied to how confident they are at the moment with Mike being more noticeably on beat on Not Addicted and Such A Twat and sounding really off on Get Out Of My House and It Was Supposed To Be So Easy.

The beats are not just straightforward things for Skinner to rap weird style over though. The beats often contain weird syncopation and odd rhythms that make it feel like rather than not being able to stay on beat the vocals and the beat are just circling around each other. Always in sync but never knowing each other's exact location. The way these two elements come together creates the backbone for A Grand Don't Come For Free's atmosphere of disorientation and lack of control. Mike's story is ultimately about him trying to latch onto any part of his life that he thinks he can control and constantly having those things slip away from him. He finds the £1000 in the back of his broken TV by the way.

The Mountain Goats - Beat The Champ

I got into The Mountain Goats way back when Moral Orel was airing it's infamous third season back in 08. I listened to John Darnielle's entire discography even the very rough first couple of tapes. And after all that I was pretty sure that this was my new favorite band and that no album anyone released were ever gonna top All Hail West Texas, Tallahassee, or The Sunset Tree. Fast forward seven years and I see he's working on a new album. It's gonna be about wrestling. I figure it will be pretty good, because Mountain Goats albums basically bottom out at pretty good. So the album releases, I listen to it, and instantly I know that I have forever been changed. I don't know how many times one man can keep doing this to me, but by God was I changed. I'm kinda into wrestling now as a direct result of this album.

The beauty of Darnielle's writing is that he can tease the meaning out of literally anything. Mountain Goats song don't have grand concepts. Beat The Champ's songs can be summed up easily. "Retired wrestler drives to the next show" "a biography of a wrestler that Darnielle liked as a kid" "a biography of a different wrestler that Darnielle liked as a kid" "a guy who takes his gimmick too seriously". But this isn't what the songs are about. They are about feeling tired of routine and being resigned to the fact that this will be the rest of your life. They are about how the world looks through the eyes of a child. They are about finding fulfillment in life even once you have passed your prime. They are about shutting out your emotions until you become a toxic person. These songs aren't about wrestling, but also they are. Beat The Champ made me think about how difficult pro wrestling is. You need a hyperapecific skill set that includes acting, athletics, acrobatic, and improv. And then if you are the absolute best at all those things hing and end up being the best wrestler ever? Well no one really respects pro wrestling so you get fuck all for it. The strange place these people occupy and the emotions that come with it are the perfect vessel for analyzing human experience at large. Wrestling, John Darnielle posits, is a microcosm for all life. We all play parts, we do heel turns now and then, we all fear being unmasked. Wrestlers deal with literal manifestations of human fear and Beat The Champ taps into that to create an album that both comments on human anxieties in a very real way and to humanize the people behind the kayfabe.

[lalinscursetheories]

If nothing in this album feels like Lalin’s Curse AMV material I may cry. Especially spirits and David.

[michelle-miriam]

NIRVANA IS HERE

Last month's the thirtieth anniversary of Nirvana’s album Nevermind. This album put the band on the charts and brought rock anthems like “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, which catapulted the band into the charts and made them known for their grunge style and emotional delivery. Nirvana’s sound is drawn from punk and alternative rock music, hard rock music, and early metal music, with contrasting levels. What needs to be discussed is Kurt Cobain’s harmonic language, made prevalent within this album.

A perfect example of Cobain’s harmonic language is shown in “In Bloom”the fourth single off of Nevermind. The song was written to make fun of the people outside the underground music scene who started coming to Nirvana shows after their first studio album. It contains many innovative non-functional harmonic structures. Here is the song being performed live at Reading in 1992:

As seen in this song, Kurt Cobain was able to create chord sequences and attendant melodies that was not traditional in terms of functional harmony, which was seen in every Nirvana song throughout Nevermind. On “In Bloom,” Kurt Cobain played the chords as dyads or power chords, which gave him some melodic flexibility due to the chords’ ambiguous quality. On Nevermind, Cobain admitted that the songwriting was a college-style tableau of words that were influenced from surrealism in the art world, which he described as “The Iggy Pop/Aerosmith-type songwriting,”, which was imitated on the album. 

He’s the one who likes all our pretty songs And he likes to sing along And he likes to shoot his gun But he knows not what it means And I say He’s the one who likes all our pretty songs And he likes to sing along And he likes to shoot his gun But he knows not what it means Knows not what it means and I say yeah

These lyrics express a certain kind of feeling more than any coherent meaning, which can explain how these collage-style lyrics work better than those who try to imitate Nirvana’s sound in present-day. Cobain hits the nail on the head through this raw sound of teenage angst on conforming to society’s expectations and demands, which is why so many teenagers today are able to resonate with this album and why it’s still being celebrated.

In present-day, country singer Sturgill Simpson covered “In Bloom” on his album, A Sailor’s Guide to Earth, reworking the song by slowing it down. This version completely changes the meaning of the song as Simpson takes a song about alienation in a crowd and turns it into a love song. However, he pays homage to Cobain in the form of a thank you, which shows that Simpson may have in fact been a fan. This version of the song features the same song, band, venue, and crowd, except with an optimistic perspective relating to love.

It’s safe to say that we don’t know if Cobain would love or hate this new sound, but we always know that nothing beats the original sound for “In Bloom”.

Sources;

https://americansongwriter.com/nirvana-in-bloom-behind-the-song/

https://www.stereogum.com/2161493/nirvana-in-bloom-music-theory-explained/columns/in-theory/

[sylvanvixen]

@dungeonqueering​

It’s here and it’s amazing! I cannot overstate how hyped I am for this project! Exalted is a fantastic and beautiful setting and the design for Exalted Essence has been fabulous.

It’s an amazing mythic fantasy world drawing from myths, legends and pop culture from all across the world, actively choosing to focus on world building that diverges heavily from medieval western fantasy. Various stated locations include cultures inspired by mixes of various places and time periods including China, India, Venice, Athens, Baghdad and a heck of a lot more.

The system that we’ve seen so far is an amazing game that runs fast and straightforwardly, rewards cool descriptors, makes convictions and bonds between characters mechanically relevant and gives every character cool magical abilities that enhance their stats and an awesome battle aura that buffs their skills, it’s also not restrictive in it’s powers for the most part, a fighty type character can totally invest in the knowledge skill and all the cool powers associated with it. There’s full social mechanics engaging in romance or rivalry (or both!) and for downtime projects like running a kingdom, navigating a wilderness, crafting and magical rituals.

The design team for this game is awesome, they’ve been incredibly cool and open while talking with fans, they’ve put in deliberate effort to avoid cultural stereotypes in their work, the art for the game includes diverse, multicultural characters, a number of women doing awesome things and several disabled characters. The design team is also majority queer, several of them even run a podcast about queer women speaking about rpgs called Bonus Experience!

The character options for this game are really rad!

Characters play as mortal heroes who've been empowered by one of the major gods or other cosmic beings of the setting who are given the power to perform magical and mythical feats in a diverse fantasy setting. It's got 10 Exalted (basically classes) each with subtypes called Aspects or Castes (basically subclasses).

Solars: Heroes with conviction to change the world powered by the Sun god they're mythic heroes and kings of light and excellence, basically most of the Avengers, Hercules, Adora, classic 'protagonist' dudes.

Lunars: Heroes who stand outside society empowered by the Moon God/ess, they’re shapeshifting warriors, tricksters and witches, think Maui, Loki and Double Trouble, the more wild card characters, explicitly trans validating with a gender fluid patron.

Dragon Blooded: Heroes born of blessed family lines empowered by the elemental dragons, passionate and numerous, basically elemental samurai, think the Avatar, Romance of the Three Kingdoms, and most of the She-ra Princesses.

Sidereals: Heroes chosen by Fate, secret agents of heaven trying to create a better future with powers to forsee fate and obscure memory, like spy-thrillers with weird esoteric ninja powers, imagine if sailor moon was a spy/ninja show.

Getimians: Heroes who never were, heaven in Exalted is a bureaucracy and sometimes prophesied heroes end up edited out of destiny, returned by a rogue sidereal these heroes awoke in a world in which they were never born and their great deeds undone, now with funky quantum powers, like It's a Wonderful Life as an anime protagonist.

Alchemicals: Heroes born of metal, found in ancient tombs of the machine-titan, these heroic souls were reborn in bodies of magical metal and made to serve a community, able to incorporate magic item powers into their bodies, basically the Iron Giant meet every awesome sentient robot hero but in a fantasy setting

Liminals: Heroes born from death, resurrection doesn't work in Exalted but when someone tries you get a FMA situation where some new being is born in the body blessed by the OG death goddess with awesome ghost hunting powers and creepy body horror, think Frankenstein or FMA hommunculi, but with psychic powers and the ability to hunt ghosts in order to help protect the veil between life and death.

Abyssals: Heroes brought back from death, empowered by the ghost kings of the underworld these deathknights are empowered to become the lords of the underworld with spooky dark powers, very castlevania, vampire hunter D, and basically any gothic heavy metal album cover, not necessarily villains but it's an option.

Infernals: Heroes beaten down by the world order and empowered by the trapped titans to rebel against the world that hurt them, Punk rock kings of hell with their own final boss demon form and awesome alien powers, totally able to play a lot of villains, totally don't have to be evil, you could easily do Dante from DMC or Bayonetta.

Exigents: The exalted of any number of smaller gods and basically the homebrew Exalt, the example one is the champion of a Field God who gave up his power to empower the Strawmaiden who began cutting down an army of evil fairies like wheat. Has provided rules and guidelines for making your own exalted and their cool own powers, so you could be the champion of a god of rainbows, mice or libraries.

Exalted doesn't have proper 'race' options like D&D, if it's going to say something isn't human than it means it (Elves are called Raksha and they're vampiric chaos spirits given shape by dreams to look beautiful and terrifying for example) but you can totally play a 'mortal' with weird fantastic features; some people are beastmen so you could play a snakeperson or a catboy, some people carry the descent of spirits so you could play a character with the style of a tiefling, aasimar, genasi or weird fey character and some people just hung around faerie realms or sorcerers and were given strange mutations or powers

This game is just so damn cool. Check out the project, you can back it for 5$ and you’ll get access to the full rules text of the game, released in chunks throughout the kickstarter (Basically the full book, just without the editing, formatting and all the art) and if you like it you can bump up the pledge at any point afterwards, including after the project is over. It’s already funded several times over!

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

HASO, “A bucket.”

I wrote this little fluff piece this morning because I didn’t have the energy to write anything else. Still fighting with my motivation right now, but I hope you all like it :)

The air smelled like fall, wet dirt, a chill, and the unmistakable tang of mouldering leaves raked into large yellowing piles. The sky overhead was blue, and it was just beginning to warm as the sun peaked higher into the sky.  Standing on the sidewalk, he stared down the street of his childhood watching orange and yellow leaves fall to the pavement. In the distance he could hear the shouting of children, and watched decorative skeletons clatter and blow in a light wind.

A soft crunching noise jogged him from his musings, and he turned to see Sunny contemplatively staring at a yellowed leaf, only to watch her pop it into her mouth and crunch on it like it was a potato chip.

He frowned at her and she turned to look at him, “What?”

“Seriously?”

“What do you mean, Seriously?”

“Gonna go ahead and eat the fall ambiance?”

She frowned at him,” The trees aren’t using them anymore, and I don’t see you eating them.” He just shook his head at her, and turned to walk up the front steps and onto the porch. She paused to stare at the cluster of pumpkins on the front steps, and the grizzly faces that were carved into them. His father was a master at pumpkin carving, evidenced by the fact that Sunny made, “What the hell.” she turned to look at Adam and he shrugged.

“What are those?”

“Pumpkins/”

“That does not answer my question.”

“THey are a type of squash or gourd or…. Or something. People grow and eat them most of the time, but it is traditional, in october to carve scary faces on them for fun. Maybe mom has another one lying around and will let you try it out.”

“But why?”

“Back in the day people thought that doing this would help to fend off evil spirits, but now it is more of a contest to flex who is the most artistic. Dad wins every year.”

They stepped onto the porch where fallen leaves were still clinging wetly to the front steps and knocked.

“It’s open!” Came the voice from inside 

The two of them slipped in, Adam taking off his shoes and Sunny wiping her damp feet on the entrance rug.

They walked into the living room to find his mother, Martha sitting on the floor at the center of an explosion of pictures, and a couple of open binders.

Adam and Sunny walked in very carefully stepping over the pictures.

“Sorting the photo album again?” “Again, the last time I did this was almost ten years ago.” 

Adam wantered closer to his mother and Sunny curiously examined some of the photos, until one caught her eye.

A very tiny, chubby human barely able to stand on his own, and with bright green eyes.

She picked up the picture gingerly in one hand, “Awww is this you? You and your fat little cheeks.”

Adam turned, and Sunny held up the picture. Adam blushed and Martha laughed, Sunny looked at the next picture in the line, which seemed to be paired to the first, but now the small boy had a large bucket on his head, his feet sticking out from underneath. The bucket had holes in the side.

“What are you doing.”

Martha laughed again, “We were playing hide and seek.” Adam was still blushing madly as she continued, “He grew into his intelligence late in life.”

***

Martha walked slowly from the back room into the living room, “Ready or not here I come.”

The house was mostly quiet. The rest of her brood was out with their father on a hike for the day, but their littlest had woken up with a slight cough so she had decided to keep him home. He had spent the first half of the day lethargic, but around lunch time after some strawberries he had perked up and become  his usual exhausting self.

“Come out come out. I’m gonna get you.”

It was the giggling that gave him away, but when she turned to look she paused, sagged a bit and rolled her eyes covering her smile and laugh with a hand. The living room was completely clean, aside from a round laundry basket sitting dead in the middle, and two chubby little legs sticking out from under it. Not to mention that since it was a laundry basket it had holes in the side, and she could see him looking at her from inside.

She discreetly took a picture and quietly to herself Lord child i hope you grow into your brains soon

But instead of calling him out on his hiding spot she wandered around the room hands on hips, “Now where could he have gone…. Could he be under here?”

Giggling 

She kept up the pretence for the longest time until he seemed to have gotten tired of her charade. She heard the bucket tip over and he ran over on his stubby little legs grabbing her by the leg.

She acted surprised, “OH there you are!. I have been looking ALL over.”

He grinned and hugged her leg again.

She reached down and picked him up and he rested his head against her shoulder.

That was another thing about her youngest. He was VERY VERY cuddly, and she idly wondered what that would translate to when he got older. She patted his back and tried to fix his unruly blond hair which stuck up from all sides of his head, but it was no use, she sighed and gave up.

Oh well, she tried her best.

***

“You know honestly sometimes he is STILL as dumb as a pile of bricks.” Sunny mused setting the picture back down.

Adam rubbed the back of his neck, “I got my masters in aviation and orbital physics.””

“And yet who is the one who insists on putting strange alien plants in his mouth without knowing i they are safe or not.”

Martha frowned at her youngest.

He frowned back, “That is hardly fair, you eat them.”

“I also eat leaves, doesn’t mean you can too.”

She sifted through the pictures and barked a laugh at one that caught her eye, she picked it up, what are you doing. She turned the picture around, and Adam blushed madly. Martha laughed, “Oh yeah, we had to call the fire department for that one.”

“No, no no we are not going to be telling that story.”

A firefighter and a cop framed either side of the picture both giving exaggerated thumbs up with a young boy\ mabe seven or eight in the background stuck, backside first in a bucket of some sort, looking very embarrassed.

Martha grinned, “I think you were seven or eight maybe.”

“IT was Jeromy’s fault.”

****

“I dare you.”

The four boys and one girl stood  at the top of the hill staring down.

Maya, who was fifteen years old, older by five years than Jeremy who was eleven, frowned down the hill, “What if he runs into one of those trees.”

“He's got a thick skull, he’ll be ok.” Thomas said ruffling Adam’s hair viciously so the younger boy squirmed protested and ducked away. Adam was a very small boy, shorter than average and very thin. His clothes always seemed too big, his shirts baggy, and the shorts he was wearing were forced to stay on only by the belt his father had had to poke three more holes into to make it fit.

Even his sneakers seemed too big flopping around on his feet with floppy untied laces. 

“Who is even going to fit in that?” David asked.

Arguably the smartest of the three brothers, it hadn’t occurred to the others that none of them would fit.

That’s when all their heads turned to look at Adam.

Adam frowned, “But I don’t want to.”

“Chiken.” Thomas said 

“Come on your the only one small enough.” Jeremy urged.

“I see your chances of dying as very low, “ David interjected helpfully.

Maya tossed her braid back over one shoulder, “We should at least put some padding down at the bottom. Because if he gets hurt mom will kill me.”

Maya was technically supposed to be babysitting them, and keeping them out of trouble. But as was common with their family, she was not immune to the pull of a hair brained idea especially not when she was just to curious to see how it turned out.

Adam stomped his foot, “But you guys ALWAYS make me do it.”

“Because the buckets are ALWAYS too small for us, “Come on don’t be a chicken.”

Adam sighed and walked over to the barrel. He tired crawling inside it backwards, and when that didn’t work he attempted to go in face first, but every time he was just to tall.

He shook his head, “Too small.”

David looked at him very thoughtfully, and then an idea seemed to jump into his head.

“Not if we fold you in half.”

Adam frowned at him.

“Come on, hold the barrel upright.” The other boys did as told, while David instructed Adam to sit inside butt first.

Adam frowned, “But that doesn’t sound very comfortable, and how am I going to get out.”

“We will tip you out, don’t worry.”

Adam frowned but then allowed himself to slide down into the barrel. It was immediately very uncomfortable.

He wanted to tell them to pull him out but by that time he had been tipped over onto his side, “Ready?”

“No.”

They ignored him.

Adam was near panicking now, it wasn’t exactly easy to breathe.

“Three, two, one.”

And then the world was spinning around him. He rocked and bounced and spun so fast his eyes rolled inside his head. He screamed but the scream was cut off as he slammed painfully into something.

Dazed and sure he was going to vomit, he heard voices.

“Oh no, Adam!”

“Adam are you ok!”

Footsteps raced down the hill.

“Oh no we killed him!”

“Shut up He’s still alive, look.” Something kicked his foot, and he groaned.

He’s still breathing.

“Let him out.”

Something tugged on his feet. But it only managed to pull him and the barrel with it.

“Here you guys hold the bucket and we will pull him out.

Wat ensued was a horrible tug of war on his legs and on the bucket neither of which seemed to want to let go.

“STOP!”

They dropped his legs.

“Um, what if we tipped the bucket upside down?”

“Ok.”

The four of them tried really hard, and at one point almost succeeded until someone’s hand slipped and Adam crashed into the ground very painfully. He was near panic now, “Guys! Get me out of here.”

David patted his foot, “Its ok, ill get you out, ‘we just need science.”

Science turned out to be a  shoddy pulley system that went over the swing set and was designed to let them lift the bucket by way of rope and shake Adam out onto the ground.

The problem was the rope kept slipping off the bucket.

“Oh… no.”

A car rolled over gravel.

“Oh no, dad’s home.”

They heard a car door slammed shut, and Adam felt as the others hurriedly rolled him behind the swingset.

A door opened and the jangle of keys followed their father around the side of the house.

“There you all are, glad to see everyone is still in one piece, you didn’t burn the house down.”

“Nope.”

“Nope.”

There was sudden silence, “Where is Adam.”

“Uh, he…. He is us, around here somewhere.” Jeremy had always been bad at lying 

Their father turned his gaze on Maya, “Maya what is going on.”

“Uh…. nothing dad, we….”

“Don’t even try it….”

She sagged a bit, “We got Adam stuck in a barrel.”

There was a moment of silence, he heard the shifting of footsteps, “You got Adam stuck in a-” The light filtering into the barrel was cut off and he saw the silhouette of his father’s head, “Huh, you weren’t kidding. You are okay in their kiddo.”

His muffled reply came.

“Yeah…. I guess.”

Their dad grabbed the barrel by one end, tipped it over and shook Adam a few times. WHen nothing happened he gently set him back down, “Huh.”

“I hold and you pull his feet, “” They tried again but it didn’t work the second time either.

“Well, I have some tools in the garage.”

Adam began to panic as he thought of his dad's circular table saw.

“NO!”

“Ok ok.”

He heard his dad quiet for a minute and then, “Hey Joe, yeah this is Jim Vir….. doing good, and you, how about the family….. Glad to hear it….. Yeah anyway, my kids got my youngest boy stuck in a barrel like the geniuses they are, and I can’t seem to get him out. You want to send me a firefighter or two with something that can help….. Yeah thanks joe.”

Adam was relieved.

Of course as it turned out it was a slow day at both the police department AND the fire station, so what came rolling up was a motorcade of emergency vehicles. Adam was so embarrassed he wished he could melt through the barrel and into the ground as a group of cops and firefighters walked over to peer down at him from above.

“That looks comfortable.”

“How are you doing there son?”

There barrel was tipped back over, and he even saw his father sna a few pictures as the firefighters and police went to work surrounding the barrel. Of course since the entire towns emergency crew were here that drew curious neighbors who couldn’t help but laugh along with Jim at the antics of his children.

The wors part is when Martha showed up, and ran from the car scared out of her mind assuming something horrible had happened, only to find her husband laughing and taking pictures with the local emergency response team, and her youngest stuck in an oversized bucket.

At the end of the day they were forced to cut him out, but the sweet relief when he tipped onto the ground free at least was almost worth the embarrassment. He might not have thought that if he had known there was still a picture in both the police department and the fire station of him as a kid stuck in a barrel.

***

Sunny was laughing at him by the time Martha was done with her story.

He grimaced, “Why do you only keep finding the embarrassing pictures.

“Oh what is this,”

“What are you wearing?”

Adam covered his eyes.

“Oh yeah, I couldn’t get my other boys to wear it, but he would model anything for me when I needed it. This was when I was doing a commission for a Seventies themed party. Isn’t he adorable.”

“Is that a jumpsuit, and what is with those glasses.”

Adam looked up at the sky.

“And of course when Maya moved out, and I didn’t have the money for a mannequin….”

Sunny picked up another picture, “That is one big ass dress.”

“Ah yes the bell skirts, doesn’t he look nice.”

Adam grunted and cleared his throat, “I think you'll find corsets are surprisingly comfortable. Second of all, I rock the regency and victorian periods, and no one can tell me otherwise.”

He might as well own it.

This was the 41st century, dresses weren’t just for women anymore, and some of them had been quite comfortable.

They would never really be his style, but he could see  why someone else would find them appealing.

By this point both Sunny and martha had migrated to the couch where they looked through embarrassing pictures of him as a baby and shared embarrassing stories. Sometimes gross stories as he sat on the other side of the room and suffered silently. Sunny seemed to be enjoying herself though, so he let it slide.

Seeing her happy was nice, since it hadn’t been very common over the past few months.

He blamed himself for that, and wondered idly how long it would take for her to fully forgive him.

He hoped not long.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // JANUARY 21

New year, not-so-new Crowd vs. Critic! It’s another batch of films, TV, music, and reads that were new to me this month and think you would enjoy, too. As we cozy up inside for the winter, nothing warms you up like a good piece of pop culture.

January Crowd-Pleasers

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

Does this sequel reach the heights of 2017’s Wonder Woman? No, but I wish more superhero movies were like this one. I explain why at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

21 Bridges (2019)

A solid action crime thriller with a solid Chadwick Boseman at the center. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

The Lethal Weapon Series (1987-98)

I watched the first Lethal Weapon in 2017 for ZekeFilm, but now I’ve a decade’s pleasure of progressively over-the-top action sequences and progressively more absurd ways to destroy Roger Murtaugh’s (Danny Glover) house. The Murtaugh/Riggs bromance holds this progressively sillier series together, and an supporting cast of charismatic actors (Jet Li, Darlene Love, Chris Rock, Rene Russo) are game for whatever comes their way. Joe Pesci is the true MVP. Series Crowd: 9/10 // Series Critic: 7/10

The High Note (2020)

Tracee Ellis Ross’s Grace Davis is a diva in every sense of the word. A high-strung and highly successful singer, she’s also highly demanding of her assistant Maggie (Dakota Johnson), who wants to step out of her shadow and become a music producer. This rom-com-adjacent flick is one of the most fun escapes I’ve had from a 2020 movie, and it’s perfect for a girls’ night in. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

Double Feature—Rom-Coms With a Magical Twist: Just My Luck (2006) + When In Rome (2010)

Disclaimer: These movies are not good. In fact, they’re junk, but they’re my kind of junk. In Just My Luck (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 6/10), Lindsay Lohan loses her life-long lucky streak when she kisses schlimazel Chris Pine. And When in Rome (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6/10), Kristen Bell attracts unwanted admirers (Will Arnett, Danny DeVito, Josh Duhamel, Jon Heder, and real-life future husband Dax Shepard) after she steals their coins from a wishing fountain. To their credit, both of these movies know they’re silly, which means you have permission to just sit back and laugh along with (or, honestly, at) them.

WandaVision (2021)

I sometimes fear for the world of entertainment when I think of how much intellectual property Disney has gobbled up, but WandaVision is evidence the company is a benevolent dictator at least for now. This odd delight is a send up and a tribute to sitcoms like I Love Lucy, I Dream of Jeannie, and The Brady Bunch, and Paul Bettany and Elizabeth Olsen are so charming and weird I don’t need whatever mysterious sub-plot they’re building.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

If you want to make the most of watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights, first watch Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991), an action flick I saw last February and didn’t include in my monthly Round Up. This Mel Brooks spoof is a direct response that self-serious Kevin Costner adventure, even down to copying its costumes. While I wish I could find a Mel Brooks comedy with any substantial female character (in every movie I’ve seen so far, the joke is either, “She’s got a great rack!” or “Wow, she’s an uggo!”), I still couldn’t stop laughing at this 104-minute version of the Robin Hood scene in Shrek. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Aliens (1986)

Peak ‘80s action. Peak alien grossness. Peak girl boss Sigourney Weaver. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/.510

Big (1988)

After talking about Laverne & Shirley with Kyla on SO IT’S A SHOW?, I had to check out Penny Marshall’s classic. While a few moments haven’t aged so well, its heart is sweet and the script is hilarious. And that Tom Hanks? I think he’s going places. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

Unstoppable (2010)

I’ve laughed at SNL’s spoof of this movie for a decade, so it’s about time I got around to enjoying this action thriller very loosely based on the true story of a train that got away from its conductor. Denzel Washington (“You’re too old!”) and Chris Pine (“You’re too young!”) are our heroes in this over-the-top ridiculousness, and their chemistry is so extra it makes me hope they team up for another movie again. Crowd:  9/10 // Critic: 7/10

January Critic Picks

Double Feature—‘90s Space Adventures: Apollo 13 (1995) + Contact (1997)

I have no desire to join Tom Cruise as he films in space, but I know I’ll be pumped to watch whatever he makes because I love sci-fi and space  adventures. Apollo 13 (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10) tells the story of an almost-disastrous NASA mission in the ‘60s, and it taps into our hope for the human spirit to overcome obstacles. Contact (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) surmises what might happen if we received communication from extraterrestrial life, and it taps into our struggle to reconcile faith and science.

McCartney III by Paul McCartney (2020)

I spent January catching up on the albums on Best of 2020 lists, and the one I listened to for hours and hours was Paul McCartney’s latest solo album. Catchy, thoughtful, and musically surprising, it ranges from pop to rock to folk in 45 minutes and still feels like it’s over too soon. Like Tom Hanks, this Paul McCartney guy is going places!

The Thin Man Series (1934-47)

Like Lethal Weapon, I watched the first installment of The Thin Man awhile back, and Kyla and I even covered the series on our podcast. But thanks to a full series marathon on TCM earlier this month, I’ve now laughed through all five. When you talk about great chemistry, you’ve got to talk about William Powell and Myrna Loy, who make Nick and Nora’s marriage feel lived in and romantic as they solve crimes together. Witty, suspenseful, and jaunty, this series is still sexy cool over 80 years later. (Also, Asta? Still one of the cutest dogs in cinema.) Series Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

The King and I (1956)

Here’s your regularly scheduled reminder Hollywood works differently now, and many casting decisions of the ‘50s wouldn’t fly today. What has aged well in this film: The Rodgers and Hammerstein music and the sumptuous costumes and set design. I love extravagant musicals of yesteryear—perhaps it’s time for Hollywood to revisit and remake The King and I for modern audiences?

Inauguration Day

In a year with no major televised events with celebrities in a room together, Inauguration Day felt like the most exciting cultural event in ages. We’ve been missing major fashion, but then we got Lady Gaga! We’ve been missing live performances, but then we got Amanda Gorman! And I got a lot of tears during that poem—not just me, right?

Good Reads

Writing that made me think and smile this month:

Steven Soderbergh’s list of everything he read, watched, and listened to this year, Extension765.com (2020) – An indirect inspiration for these monthly Round Ups!

“My Year of Making Lists,” NewYorker.com (2020) – I made a lot of lists in 2020, so I feel this author’s #mood

“Betty White Says She Will Spend Her 99th Birthday Feeding Two Ducks Who Visit Her ‘Every Day,’“ CBSNews.com (2021) - “Betty is a treasure,” I say as I watch The Proposal for the 99th time

“A Sculpture’s Unusual Journey to SLAM [St. Louis Art Museum],” SLAM.org (2020) – With a casual mention of an attraction I never knew about in St. Louis

“The Culture Is Ailing. It’s Time for a Dr. Fauci for the Arts.” WashingtonPost.com (2020) – An idea that occurred to me a few months ago: Why don’t we have an Arts Cabinet?

“The Arts Are in Crisis. Here’s How Biden Can Help.” NYTimes.com (2021) – Partly in response to that Washington Post piece, a historical look at how artists have made it through difficult times in the past and how we can revive artists’ livelihoods mid- and post-pandemic

“The Right’s Message to Silicon Valley: 'Free Speech for Me, But Not for Thee,'” TIME.com (2021) – A more thoughtful and less reactionary take on a volatile moment in the history of modern technology

“'It Makes Me Sick With Grief': Trump's Presidency Divided Families. What Happens to Them Now?” TIME.com (2021) – A study on how politics has done damage to family dynamics in America

“Help, the Only Cinema I Can Handle Is Zac Efron Prancing Angrily in High School Musical 2,” Vulture.com (2021) - In a lot of ways, same

“50 Easy Things To Do When You are Anxious,” ShopTwentySeven.com (2021) – I especially endorse coloring, puzzling, and watching happy movies!

Double Feature—Miss Marple Mysteries: Murder at the Gallop (1963) + Murder Ahoy (1964)

Remember when I was all like, “Watch these Agatha Christie movies so you’re not sad Death on the Nile is delayed”? Remember when I said I was just a few movies away from becoming an Agatha Christie junkie? Well, I think I’m there because I can’t stop with the murder mysteries! Margaret Rutherford is a treasure whether she’s solving a murder at a horse ranch or on a boat, and a cast of colorful supporting characters (including Rutherford’s husband) makes these breezy instead of heavy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10

8½ (1963)

File this with 2001: A Space Odyssey—I don’t know if I really understood this film, but I think I liked it? Federico Fellini’s surrealist, male gaze-y drama blurs the lines between reality and imagination, love and dysfunction, and the past and maybe some future that involves clowns? What resonated with me was the story of a director with creative block, wondering if he’s already peaked and if he’ll create anything worthwhile again. Crowd: 6/10 // Critic: 9/10

Sense and Sensibility: The Screenplay and Diaries by Emma Thompson (1995)

Sense and Sensibility is not just one of my favorite Jane Austen adaptations—it’s one of my all-time favorite films. One of the co-hosts of one of my favorite podcasts has raved many-a-time about Emma Thompson’s journals from the making of film, so it was only a matter of time before I read them myself. Witty, informative, and all-around lovely, Thompson’s journals are an excellent insight into the filmmaking process and how novels are adapted.

Also in January…

I reviewed the new-ish documentary Flannery for ZekeFilm, which is all about the writer Flannery O’Connor and feels a little like going back to high school English class.

In addition to the Lethal Weapon and Thin Man series, I rewatched all of the X-Men series this month. You can see everything I am watching on Letterboxd, including favorites I love returning to (i.e. X-Men: Days of Future Past) and the movies I try that don’t make my monthly recommendations (i.e. The Wolverine).

Photo credits: Paul McCartney, Zac Efron, Sense & Sensibility. All others IMDb.com.

[samaelserpentine]

An Odyssey Through Music, Muses, Madness and Magic

(Buckle up Tumblr, this is a long poem) 1. The isle guardians of vinyl Unwittingly nervous to the necromancy I have planned An inner storm so terrible But I was Struck by his Occult missive So laden down was I By all the lyrics, the words With characters told through dark supergods As Aleister Crowley is to Led Zeppelin is to David Bowie And now me Lost among them Buried within them The pages of ancient texts And the liner notes of the albums Held far too close to the heart Though I tried, perhaps I merely formed mystery at my own doom The records of the sorcerers Performing an infernal scratching on my psyche Breaking down what was there and carving out what could be But whether it should be Is still uncertain to me. 2. I found the darkness in riffs The wall of sound I was into Inhabited by self-admitted aliens Aleister’s hellfire brought to light My heavy work held up The symbolizing of some god Archaic and forgotten Through a ring Art cracks All the people that stare loveless Into your eyes But I would be different I would be realized Something broken Mended Yet still wrong But I would Make myself into something else With your words The fascination told fables A way out, a way through I would find my way to you Through the cracks. 3. Once artwork I became their voice Lurking in the shadows of time On the periphery Of reason Madness could be a thrilling companion And with the records transcendent And the races lost The shout rang out Are You Experienced? I am and am not Like an abysmal and sunken ship Lost in the depths of the ocean Alone and devoid of meaning Abandoned everything to Grooves, characters, truths And once there inhabiting these my psyche Broke open spilling out visions, words Like arcane knowledge Dancing carelessly over the line Between the sacred and profane Whispering it’s so nice to see you here again And my mind became a bookshelf filled with ancient wisdom A record player Playing albums that told lies like they were the truth I uncovered the Necronomicon Had lives in Atlantis Sat with the sound and vision Of a populated landscape Woven through history Like a single thread Linking everything I became a fixture Fantastic Within the hidden music of a paperback I would not be forgotten there. 4. Of those who sought And those who chose A wriggle of religious fanaticism in claim And its origins an apparent expression of salvation I say You are nothing and have nothing for me With your hierarchy and worry over the threat Of music and sexuality And your constant waging of war against me When mine and yours is a history of burning I have nothing to give you You’ve already taken too much from me I want what was mine back With your wicked face as old as These chords I worship And your evil work to further ministers As meaningful to me as a rotten turnip Yet of my conjuring powers You disbelieve When honey, you should fear me And not the other way around I hope that when you are most afraid You say my name. 5. Mobs make parents worried They claim the rock audience chaos Is just hormonal fury A response to what is true Inside of both me and you There is more than this A kind of magic If you look for it Religious In the way we turn musicians Into gods and goddesses Idol worship But is that all it is? In the truest sense An ancient rite Long buried and forgotten Rising up inside us all Those who dare to dance And by prohibiting and demonizing The ones who shake their fists Lose their sense Always the sound of agitation But I saw these pagan spirits first Before I heard your protesting words Theirs speak louder to me Than your hatred ever could. 6. To the electric teenager Finding your way Rebellion is autonomy It is tradition To push boundaries Yet each new generation of adults Somehow forgets these Eternal truths It's not your fault They're afraid of your youth Don't listen Hold on Your fire will make the world a better place For you. 7. Could this ancient thread Of reality and magic infused with dangerous potential Normally inhabited by far greater Magicians than I could ever be Break me? I am traversing this rough terrain Of shared perception With aliens These common visions a violence What could I even be? Nothing more than a mystery To those around me Lost in this metaverse I have accessed Through song, collage, words Chaotic, such occult meanings They and often I End in something Beyond reason Scratching out messages of methods The angels referenced spoken vast by terrifying qualities These opposing sorcerers Like a guitar screeching endless feedback Which demons? Sex? Drugs? Words? Palpable as suggesting a penultimate hidden secret Impenetrable beyond nothingness and Nonetheless I must find it Even if I have to destroy myself trying Nothing is more important Than this truth. 8. Years go by and I come about left handed Shaped by a tarot card about the arts and earlier The room Space Death I know spirituality I see it in my brother’s eyes Only the inner outer world collides But of the Beatles or beetles They didn’t understand How To make the world bend at your command Of this phenomenon devotees are Reckless Breathtaking in their beauty And chaos It takes a certain kind of madness Or perhaps maybe genius To choose this path To withstand the pressure Of reality kneeling At your feet Bending to your will I will break it before it breaks me Oh brother, don’t you worry I always find my way out of the darkness And besides, hell has never bothered me I am the master of my own design The maker of my own making Nothing else can touch me. 9. Imagination turns listeners into participants Gives power to the powerless Those converted shaped by few ideas Dreams Had rock’s Hare Krishna LSD Asking questions Whose inner world could I be? And as it moves, a cultural generation Becomes magical More magical than entire rock bands Than holy men and women Fashioned by the young The carbon copy progressives Lying like Houses Already vast Led by the words of the Bhagavad Gita You should have listened to me When I had the cards already free I tried to warn you what was coming But no one ever hears me Invisible as I am Until so repulsive, so strange You can’t look away from me You really should have listened You can't say I didn't try to warn you. 10. This is bigger than I am Stretched too thin like skin Over bone was and into The board, into the planchette Could enchantment make me forget? The board is vibrating Shaking like hands The grazing of sleeves Culture, vinyl Seemed out from under our covers Like what was hidden There, even tucked away those records Though of nothing gatefold came No reason to be afraid Other than the fingers that have become potent The light that has now dimmed And what could I have been To all who pulled that woven magic Out of my childhood? Could it be the way was manifest Curled up snugly against your breast? As warm candlelight over the Ouija Plastic memories came From which I had imagined the feelings like air between Bewitched but hovered from Somewhere above our heads I wished that I was dead Or that something would end. 11. Experiences divorced from reality Covers rock personas Cut out images appear worse But Dionysus would love this His child Who has people staged Like personal shamanic relics Thinking writing something mystical That I would seek this That I sought this Is surely a form of madness But all the logical illogical reasoning shows A kind of rare dedication to the cause These rites are magical Why speak of demons And why speak of devils? I have conjured and created Something new out of the ancient Like nails Scratching deep grooves into a record album I have altered something Broken it As their gods create chaos simulating insanity As if they even have to in me I am the false image of a human performed By a front magician Playing at being god In these moments of desperation Carrying the weight of lives As though my power were absolute My belief almost religious Fanatical My concerns become concerts When I am on my own Wondering why happiness has abandoned me And where all the merrymakers have gone Why I am more Anubis than Pan Why myth seems written in lyrics As musicians play me like a fiddle Play me for a fool I am possessed Into thinking I am appearing as many legends Something older than time itself A life bringer A life destroyer With the power to stop or start it all I needed to believe I had the power To save all of you To destroy all of you To protect myself If I needed to And I don’t know if I can save myself From the things I want to do As the darkness envelops me And my mind becomes unglued So go ahead and do what you always do And blame it on the music When we all know the truth It’s always been you. 12. Rumination is realization I wandered alone Within the elements and to God Unintelligible Words became strange as Rogue faeries genuine Approach looking wing Impenetrable as I have become What I’d produced went away from me Flew out of my control Reborn in catastrophe When where into situations I went From film to film I sense in time a song Things start about a room and again Became revolt But maybe that’s just what happens when you’re Involving the occult Bring out the old rock n roll safeguard Make it out of symbols and sigils A complete thought catalogue so arcane It would leave you spellbound for days My mind prison And that in myself some Christ was born A thought so seductive to be sure I would take control of these pursuits But unlike you Hatred would never do I would never fight against passion Your fear I came to hear Against spaceships, rituals, the mystical, Sex, magic Your terror So absolutely Psychological I felt protection close at hand And I was real myself, as I really am In and out of my depth Battling against you and your demands I came out cleaner Stronger And what became of you? Shhh, no telling I won’t spoil the ending No good to warn the enemy Of what is coming But You really should have been listening You should have been watching What was happening. 13. He said, you should have started with Kether Been sure of the path you were following After all Magic, like blood, stains But these moments were wonders They could drive out the fear of fortune, destiny Hanging over my head I was taking control Creating my own instead As thin as the thread that links us all Tenuous, fragile Like a mind on the verge of breaking Under the weight of a cruel reality The walls would speak to me Whispering When will you come to me From here or there And find me in a room High above the clouds Where we could build our love? It’s not enough It’s a drug And I need it As lovers we were And I, such as the mountains Looming, shy Unable to look you in the eye But here is the stuff of legend Sound soars like a movement Lost to the ages I never thought myself better than this moment Lost as I once was Now flashing light and colour Connected to everything Raising you like the devils they spoke of Dancing my way to Malkuth A fearless necromancer Disregarding all the rules. 14. I am the sun I am the ocean I am the mountains and the streams I am the demon who would be with you In all your wildest dreams Where men circle around you Desperate to keep you You land like sand flowing through my hand I did not try to hold onto you So you let me keep the thread Through this glass I was searching Broken as the cracks But now I am returning Now I am mending And once you were evasive Elusive Like a high I was chasing Or the first drink, the tenth, or the last But now I find you woven into everything Believing we were thrown together like darts Bending like space and time I was searching for this Searching for you In desolate stations We would be protected Dredging the world to a ditch Just to find you Just to become more than this You are a wonder Among wondrous things And I am bird Who has found his wings Overlooking humanity From up on high I have found me in you This time And of all the things they can take from me That will never be one of them For I am the sun I am the ocean I am the mountains and the streams I am the demon who would be with you In all your wildest dreams But above all else What is more I have found peace Dancing in the flames of this madness They tried to call a disease I am me I am me I am me.

[holinessanddesire]

Excerpt: ‘What’s Wrong with a World Run by Desire?’

In his 2016 album Darkness and Light John Legend wondered aloud how his baby daughter would fare growing up into the world he knows, a world ‘run by desire’. 

The vitality of desire is not humankind’s main problem. Quite the reverse, actually.  I don’t think that our spiritual energies should be engaged upon the lifelong, doomed task of evading, banishing, neutralising or – failing all else – finding ways to slip out temporarily from under its power.   We, good stoics, would lose in our achieved indifference…all this:  longing, wanting, lacking, yearning, wishing, hoping, burning, hungering, thirsting, calling, praying, reaching, remembering, mourning.  Without these the only thing left to want is death.  

‘Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp’, wrote Robert Browning, ‘Or what’s a heaven for?’  The question acknowledges that the idea of heaven may be powerful, even necessary, but might not be true. It could be a fantasy, constructed only to keep longing alive. In the context of the poem, it sounds almost like a counsel of despair.

But Browning’s lines escaped their context and became an inspirational aphorism. Taken on their own, the lines keep God at a controllable distance, allowing for a human-centred vision into which optional homeopathic doses of the divine can be dripped as a brightener. They fit quite neatly into the family of inspirational tropes and vaguely spiritualised mission statements.

Modern culture is in the business of narrowing the distance between ‘reach’ and ‘grasp’, to make heaven unnecessary.  (Or at least to make it so that heaven really is a place on earth, as in the Belinda Carlisle song from the 1980s.) Rhetoric about the ambition of the human spirit is built into commerce, into civic rhetoric, into education.  When ‘reach’ and ‘grasp’ are treated as synonyms, possibility and fulfilment can be made to melt improbably into each other.  The promise of fulfilment is everywhere, from the can-do HSBC adverts which line the walls of airport jet bridges to the words of the secular primary school song ‘Believe’, which carelessly loads onto every child the burden of compulsory success:

I can do anything at all,

I can climb the highest mountain,

I can feel the ocean calling wild and free.

I can be anything I want,

with this hope to drive me onward,

if I can just believe in me.

This is great positioning for advertising. Adverts exploit the gap between hope and fulfilment by implying that the one will become the other.  Adverts also need them not to, because fulfilment doesn’t sell things. In watching an advert we are watching a fantasy from which our sophisticated distance is assumed.  They are constructed to exert influence rather than to command assent, though the less sophisticated rollover which assent delivers is always welcome.  

Yet the gap between hope and fulfilment which adverts pretend to bridge is a gap we need. 

Fulfilment that extinguishes hope renders its own benefits invisible.  The gap is where we live, the place of desire.  And when the gap is only acknowledged with success as a pre-condition (‘with this hope to drive me onward’) desire is dangerously harnessed.  For those many - those most; those all - who discover that the mountains are, after all, too high, the ocean too dangerously wild and wet and deep, failure and shame attend an astonished disappointment.  Nothing to wish for except the thing we failed at, nothing to hope for except the thing we thought was already our due.  Nothing acknowledged to be beyond the human grasp.  Success might even be worse - no bounds, no checks, no perspective. If the whole universe is imagined to be smaller than a single human will, then that single human will is a giant adrift in a wilderness of nowhere. But we are not giants.  We are small people tricking ourselves.  We are confined in ways that the songs and the adverts simply will not admit.  

You can only sing ‘imagine there’s no heaven’ with real enthusiasm if you truly believe that there’s an easily closable gap between reach and grasp.  The lyrics of John Lennon’s song are millenarian, eschatological. The perfect time when humankind sings in harmony and lives in peace is here - or just around the corner, anyway.  But it wasn’t.  It isn’t. In the end, the longing of a song like ‘Imagine’ is exactly the same as the longing for heaven in Browning’s poem - it points to a wonderful elsewhere that cannot be touched.  As I was growing up, across the 1970s and 80s, people seemed uncertain about whether it couldn’t be touched because it had already happened (the 1960s being so decisively over, so enviable) or whether it was on its way somehow and still unfolding.

The headmaster of my primary school preached to us almost weekly about the imminent coming of the end-times, newspaper in hand to match current events up to the relevant passages from Revelation.  We would all sing ‘God is working his purpose out’ accompanied by wailing recorders. And the earth shall be filled with the glory of God as the waters cover the sea. I became wary of apocalyptic sunsets. I prayed that Christ would not come in my lifetime, or my children’s, or my children’s children’s, on and on as far as I could imagine my intercessory intervention running.  I wasn’t sure it was going to work.  

Once John Lennon was shot, in 1980, it became clear that heaven was not round the corner at all: it had been and gone.  The world was back to its sordid business-as-usual.  The boyfriends I went out with (some of them) yelled along to Crass’s anti-nuclear blast: ‘They’ve got a bomb’. Personally, I was bored and alienated by punk, so loud, local and masculine. (Hersham was four stops away, its boys a nuisance at parties.)  I took refuge in the last gasps of romantic, space-age eschatology, buying my stairways to heaven with (Tim) Blake’s New Jerusalem, King Crimson’s Islands with its astonishing cover of stars, Led Zeppelin’s ‘Battle of Evermore’ or even the more terrestrial wistfulness of ‘Going to California’. I tried not to notice the ways they were absurd or downright repulsive, or the boredom of long improvisations, or how necessary it was to be a man to enter prog rock paradise. I tried to play the piano like Keith Emerson, but only managed to be nicknamed after the piano-playing dog on The Muppet Show. I didn’t want to think heaven could never arrive, though I had my fair share of four-minute-warning dreams.  I asked my mother, in 1979, whether she was afraid.  ‘Not after Cuba’, she said. 

So what’s a heaven for?  It is the place of desire; and we reach towards it through the passions of experience.

Our delight in the present and tangible is not confined inside a point called now.  It spreads out from it, backwards and forwards through time.  It connects the immediate (now) to the unattainable (then).  It does this in the associations of memory, which is the form for longing after what once was.  And it does this also in the way that we look, in a strangely similar longing, towards what has not yet come to be, the sight just at the edge of our vision. The experience of becoming, of being someone who has an unfolding meaning in the world, is absolutely dependent upon experience we can’t possess, experience lent to us through imagination and in memory.  Somewhere over the rainbow waits the living fulfilment of all our longing.  My Christian faith trusts desire to contain all meaning; in desire my eyeline lifts up beyond what is available, pressing forward towards something I am too small to possess. Whilst we are creatures who value yearning, who know that our reach exceeds our grasp, we are able also to be creatures looking beyond the visible towards what we cannot yet see or touch, towards the mystery of things.  Desire keeps the future open and the past breathing; it invests the present with potential, a charge of power it cannot retain by itself. 

The immediate is important.  But alone it is vulnerable to despair.  Desire invests the immediate and the tangible with potential, so that every experience becomes bigger than its own moment.  Desire is our bridge out of the rule of time; and even if the bridge is barred presently by the toll-gates of marketing campaigns it is still possible to find ways to look into a priceless distance. ‘Buy wine and milk without money and without price’, invites God through the poetry of the third writer to be called Isaiah. ‘Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labour for that which does not satisfy?” Without hope - without its freight of desire - everything we already possess loses weight and value. When we behave as if the New Jerusalem is already here, we are bound for disappointment. 

The heart-changing stories of humanity’s desire are not about careless delight or tearless potency.   Ours is not a Captain Marvel story.  We do not have to imagine what it is like to possess bodies impervious to violence or age, or minds indifferent to the passing of time. Our narratives of seeking and finding end not in strangeness but in recognition. For Christians like me, God manifests in the known human face, in the weakness of a baby, the rare vulnerability of an unarmed man, the defencelessness of offered love, the keeping company with a dying body, the unlooked-for meeting seen through passionate tears. For us, God inhabits the everyday truths of weakness, finitude and loss.  For us, God’s presence is strong in the places where the human imagination quails or retreats - with the degraded, the despairing, the imprisoned, the raped, the assimilated or devoured, those of damaged or vanished memory, the dying, those in pain, the tortured and humiliated, those in social exile.  All the places which bring human sympathy to a standstill, which darken human comprehension, unreeling the heart towards meaninglessness - those are the places God inhabits with special care.  There are no locked doors in the divine imagination.  This is a very great mercy of its own, because the burdens of human suffering and human cruelty are sometimes too heavy to bear.  Live in the place of death for long enough and death can be what you will long for. But to us another heart helps bear that burden and another eye looks when we cannot, opening a door out of the dark confines of earth and dust. To us, paradise is a place of mercy and restoration, where tears are wiped away rather than where they were never shed.

So, then, what’s wrong with a world ‘run by desire’?  If it is the ultimate good thing, the bridge to eternity, the raw material of meaning, the life-motor?  What’s not to like?  But turn the thought around.  This isn’t about a world unexpectedly illuminated by wild desire, but one with its wildness trapped into serving short-term, deliberately short-lived pleasures.   And our world, the world of the modern West, though it cannot trap all the wild desire there is, has managed to enslave desire on a truly industrial, global scale. 

I do not know exactly what John Legend means as he sings to his baby. But the potential of a new baby is one of the very few places where our vision is long; where we clearly understand desire to be about a relationship between the immediate present and a possibly wonderful future. Babies require patience. They don’t always oblige with smiles and cute moments. You can’t rely on what you’ll get looking after a baby – though it will be unexpectedly wonderful at odd moments. Caring for babies means a grinding and monotonous set of vital, continual mini-tasks, is as different as it possibly can be from the harnessing of desire for swift gratification.

There is little space for the needs of babies - or wildlife, or insects, or trees or oceans or glaciers - in a world run by desire. Desire as a motor for immediate reward drives towards possession rather than care, possessions rather than relationships.  It is harnessed in order to direct and distract us only towards objects we can completely encompass.  It encourages us to think about non-human stuff - whether we mean by that the 27,000 miles of submerged mountain ranges at the bottom of the sea or our distance from the indifferent stars - as items which at least metaphorically can be ‘handled’, owned in the hand.  What does it say about the human relationship with the wilds of space that a businessman might send up a Tesla into the orbit of Mars? (And even that has its own joie de vivre – unlike the many car adverts which fetishise the solitary landscapes the car economy continues to endanger and across which, on our crowded roads, no car driver may travel alone.) Yet to have and to hold means nothing without the stuff which we can’t just have, can’t quite grasp; the associations of the lost past; the potential of what might come; the wildness of what can’t be understood.  The wickedness of many car adverts is that (like certain kinds of global tourism) they pretend we can buy wildness.  

In a world run, rather than filled, by desire, our grasp is so continual and so driven that we forget that we have any reach at all.  We are under compulsion - a word meaning enslavement - flogging the moment to beat a residual grain of longing or memory out of its blankness, or killing the time watching a procession of the wonderfully alien artfully domesticated into small-screen cliche.  ‘It was no great mistake’, remarks the seventeenth century mystic Thomas Traherne, ‘to say, that to have blessings and not to prize them is to be in Hell.  For it maketh them ineffectual, as if they were absent.  Yea, in some respects it is worse than to be in Hell.  It is more vicious, and more irrational’. Living becomes a crowded list of short-term goals and greeds.  When we forget our reach we also forget our own small size; we forget that we shall die; we forget that we do not make ourselves, or live to ourselves, or die to ourselves. We forget that there is anything bigger than the self. We spend our entire lives in the act of distracted forgetting to avert our own mortality. It is not being very good for us. 

[adamsdoyle]

My girlfriend asked me to make her a list of works of fantasy and science fiction so should could feel keyed into references when they come up in conversation. She wanted to feel more grounded in these genres, which she likes, but hasnt made the effort to be on top of everything.

I was happy to compile the most important names, but told her it couldn’t be a short list because recognizing the works of today means honoring their origins, which goes way back into our past. 

What’s below is my best effort to include what I assess to be the most culturally relevant becoming, tempering my favorites, and trying to keep it from being totally overwhelming. I’ve left off works from the past five to ten years because it can take a span of time before we're aware the effects new ideas may have. Felt like sharing here in case you or your friends want a crash course on the bedrock of our imagined landscape. I do try to be globally aware, however this list will reflect my bias as a white, straight, male who grew up in the States. And as this is an ongoing conversation between her and myself, I wanted to be able to vouch for the contents.

-Key-

(Wiki)  Read up for cultural significance *         Personal Favorite +        Hugely influential ^        Non-Essential but worth listing

-Literature-

8,000 BC Aboriginal mythology (pre written language)

2,300 BC Egyptian & Chinese myths+

1,000 BC The Old Testament+

900 BC Greek myths, fables, and all the rest

300 BC - 1800 AD Folk and fairy tales+

1000 AD Beowulf (Wiki)

1100s Legend of King Arthur+ 1200s Norse mythology+

1300s The Inferno - Dante Alighieri+

1500s A Midsummer Night’s Dream - Shakespeare

1600s Paradise Lost*

1700s Gulliver’s Travels The Arabian Nights (Wiki)

1800s Faust Frankenstein* - Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly+ Grimm’s fairy tales+ (Wiki brothers, who collected folktales) The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde* Dracula - Bram Stoker+ Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll+ Flatland The Time Machine & War of the Worlds - HG Wells+ (godfather of SF) Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea - Jules Verne+ The Tell-Tale Heart - Edgar Allan Poe+

1900s Peter Pan - JM Barry The Comet - WEB Dubois Little Nemo in Slumberland - Winsor McCay The Book of Wonder - Lord Dunsany (less known now, he was highly influential in his time for fantasy & mythos) The Metamorphosis - Franz Kafka+ (Einstein’s Theory of Relativity) The Wizard of Oz - L. Frank Baum+ John Carter of Mars - (Wiki) Call of Cthulhu or The Outsider - HP Lovecraft+ Brave New World - Aldous Huxley (Teacher of Orwell https://bit.ly/2xayA23) 1984 - George Orwell+ Amazing Stories magazine - John Campbell+ (writer & editor)

After 1950 Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien+ Chronicles of Narnia* - CS Lewis I Am Legend - Richard Matheson (The first real zombie story. Also wrote for Twilight Zone) Childhood’s End - Arthur C Clarke+ I, Robot - Isaac Asimov+ Farenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury Funes the Memorious or The Garden of Forking Paths - Borges+ Slaughterhouse Five - Kurt Vonnegut Wizard of Earthsea or The Lathe of Heaven - Ursula LeGuin Stranger in a Strange Land - Robert Heinlein Dune Where the Wild Things Are - Maurice Sendak The Neverending Story* ^The Man in the High Castle Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - (inspired Bladerunner) Philip K Dick+ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy A Wrinkle in Time The Stand - Stephen King+

After 1980 Invisible Cities - Italo Calvino Xanth series* Communion - (True account of alien abduction) Neuromancer - William Gibson+ Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood Jurassic Park - Michael Crichton+ Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson Ender’s Game* - Orson Scott Card Parable of the Sower - Octavia Butler A Song of Ice & Fire - George RR Martin ^Hunger Games Harry Potter - JK Rowling+ Who Fears Death

-Comics/Superheroes-

-DC Comics- Superman (Wiki how he came to be) Wonder Woman (Wiki how she came to be or watch Professor Marston and the Wonder Women. Very interesting) Batman (and Joker) The Sandman - Neil Gaiman Watchmen* - Alan Moore+

-Marvel Comics- Spiderman* (Wiki how he came to be) X Men* Avengers (the hugely popular films all started with decades of comics) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles* Hellboy*

-Games- Dungeons & Dragons+ Magic the Gathering Netrunner

-Artists & Illustrators-

1100-1200 Anonymous monk’s illuminated manuscript creatures - https://bit.ly/2Ynytf7

1400s Hieronomous Bosch+ Leonardo DaVinci Michelangelo+ 1500s Arcimboldo

1800s Gustav Doré+ Howard Pyle JW Waterhouse

1900s Maxfield Parish NC Wyeth+ Sir John Tenniel Windsor McCay+ Arthur Rackham - fairy tales Jack Kirby - superhero comics Margaret Brundage - Weird Tales covers Picasso - Cubism Chesley Bonestell - space travel, integral to NASA Frank Frazetta MC Escher Heinrich Kley Sun Ra - Afrofuturist musician

After 1980 Jeff Easley - D&D Jim Lee - X Men Michael Whelan  H.R. Giger - Alien films Brian Froud  Syd Mead - design of Bladerunner & other films Roger Dean - album covers Jean Giraud aka Moebius Bill Waterson - Calvin & Hobbes Leo Dillon and Diane Dillon James Gurney - Dinotopia Alan Lee - Lord of the Rings Alex Ross - superheroes Chris Van Allsburg Mike Mignola - Hellboy Mary GrandPré - Harry Potter

-Radio-

1930s -1950s Flash Gordon War of the Worlds (Wiki Orson Welles’ radio hoax) Buck Rogers The Shadow and much more in the ensuing years, including adaptations of The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and The Hitchhiker’s Guide

-TV Shows-

After 1950s Twilight Zone - Rod Serling Lost in Space Star Trek - (Wiki) Gene Roddenberry Dr Who (Wiki) The Jetsons (Wiki) Cosmos - Carl Sagan+ (Science fact)

After 1980s Transformers Quantum Leap Twin Peaks - David Lynch (not really either genre but impact has been undeniable) Buffy the Vampire Slayer* - Joss Whedon X Files* Neon Genesis Evangelion

After 2000 Firefly - Joss Whedon Lost* - JJ Abrams Battlestar Galactica Black Mirror* Game of Thrones Westworld* - reboot of Michael Crichton 1970s film

-Films-

1900s King Kong (Wiki) The Wizard of Oz+ Fantasia- Disney+ Monster movies- Dracula, The Mummy, The Wolfman, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Frankenstein (Wiki)

After 1950 Godzilla+ (Wiki) Seven Samurai or Hidden Fortress - Akira Kurosawa+ (Not SF or fantasy but influential) The 7th Voyage of Sinbad - Special effects by Ray Harryhausen (Wiki) Invasion of the Body Snatchers 2001 A Space Odyssey - Stanley Kubrick+ (Wiki) Planet of the Apes Night of the Living Dead+ (Wiki) Superman #Star Wars Trilogy - George Lucas (owing to Joseph Campbell’s monomyth)+

After 1980 Bladerunner* - Ridley Scott ^Legend Mad Max series Alien or sequel Aliens Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind - Steven Spielberg+ ET Star Trek series Back to the Future Brazil - Terry Gilliam+ Tron+ Ghostbusters* Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure* The Princess Bride* Labyrinth* The Terminator & Terminator 2* - James Cameron+ Akira The Fifth Element Robocop Beetlejuice ^Nightmare Before Xmas* Jurassic Park - Steven Spielberg+ The City of Lost Children* The Iron Giant* 12 Monkeys Groundhog Day* The Sixth Sense Ghost in the Shell (1995 anime) Gattaca* Donnie Darko* Starship Troopers (tongue in cheek adaptation of Heinlein’s classic) The Matrix*

After 2000 Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon My Neighbor Totoro or Spirited Away - Hayao Miyazaki ^Underworld Minority Report Lord of the Rings Primer ^The Incredibles Shaun of the Dead*  Pan’s Labyrinth - Guillermo del Toro Moon* Marvel Cinematic Universe ^Idiocracy Inception* &/or Interseller - Christopher Nolan+

[the-energon-hole]

Could I request some fall/autumn/halloween headcanons with tfp Smokescreen and Bee with their s/o's?

((A/N - I got stuck on this one, so I’m sorry if it seems a little off in anyway I had to adjust it so many times.))

Bumblebee

-”Oh, do you like that picture Bee?” You asked as you sat in an old lawn chair in the garage next to him. You were wrapped up in a nice warm blanket sipping a nice warm cup of coffee in your pajamas, it was a little self indulgent to do this with Bee, but the two of you decided that a night in could be relaxing and fun. No Decepticon Autobot War, no patrolling around the dusty old desert to keep watch for danger, and absolutely no one else but the two of you just sitting around and having a good chat. It was becoming a rarer and rarer commodity that the two of you would get time to yourselves beyond the little sneaks of affection you could squeeze in when there was down time at the base- it was nice to just sit and relax and talk to each other the way normal domestic partners were able to do, even if your relationship was far from normal. Bee beeped quizzically at you as he found one of your old photo albums lying on one of the workbenches in the small concrete room, you let him go through all your old photos… even if some of them hurt to look at and remember. The one he was asking about though was a fond memory you had from when you were younger and much more entrepid than you were now. It was a picture of you wrapped up in a warm and colorfully knitted scarf with mittens to match that were covering your hands, and as you had them thrown over your head there were leaves of so many varying colors flying around you in a messy fashion, some even sticking to your flushed looking face and to the dark beanie that covered your head. “That picture? Hmm… I can’t remember who took that one, but it was a trip I took up to the mountains so I could see the changing of the leaves for the first time. You don’t really experience seasons out here in the desert, so it was nice to be able to experience it at least once in my life.” Bee beeped at you quizzically again with a lot of inflection in his tone, and it finally hit you what he meant through his words… he had never experienced Autumn either. He hasn’t been able to see the world beyond the desert and the city the resides within it. It was then that you vowed to take him on the most amazing road trip once this whole war was over, you were going to show him the most amazing and beautiful places that the world has to offer.

-You sat cross legged on Bumblebee’s yellow and black hood as you examined a medium brown shipping box that was surprisingly light for its size. Bee beeped quizzically at you as you rotated the box in your hands as you shook it a little to try and guess what was inside. It was a package you ordered months ago and completely forgot about due to the fact you got swept up in an alien war between a species that consisted of giant robots- you argued that was a pretty fair reason to forget about your mail delivery on a consistent basis. Bee beeped at you again a little louder, which pulled you from you thoughts enough to chuckle and answer hks question- “Sorry, Bee, it looks like a package I ordered a while ago. I forgot what it was that I bought and I was trying to think of what it was that I could have ordered.” Bee responded with a noise of understanding as you adjusted yourself on the top of his hood so that you could properly open the box without making to much of a mess that you would have to clean up later. “Oh! This is the knitted Fall Ware I bought from that online designer I like” you exclaimed as you pulled out a plush looking scarf that was very soft to the touch, the next item you fished from the box was a sweater made of the same material that had a beautiful and artistic depiction of a tree losing its leaves that had changed to all different kinds of colors as they almost appeared to sway in the breeze on the still image on the piece of outerwear, and the last thing you pulled from the box was a cute little beanie that had a similar pattern to that of the sweater that was made of equally soft material. Bee beeped at you again as you wrapped the scarf around your neck in glee as you strokes at the fabric with your fingers, “These were fashion accessories that were apart of a bigger fall line by this internet designer, aren’t they cute? It’s a little too warm to wear them out here in the desert, but I just couldn’t pass up an opportunity to snag myself a set when the time came.” Bee didn’t understand what you meant by fashion, but he was happy that you were happy about getting clothes that were meant to match the season of autumn. Besides, he thought you looked nice with all your new pieces of clothing- the warm colors matched your personality in a way he couldn’t describe, it was like a reflection of not only the changing of the season but also of who you were on the inside. 

-You sat in your driveway in your new Halloween costumes as you watched the sun orange and yellow sun begin to dip down over the horizon. You’d be surprised at the fact that this small town does have quite a population of children, young children specifically- the ones that like to dress up in fun costumes and run around and collect as much candy as their bags could carry. You always loved Halloween and being able to celebrate it when you were little, and now that you were older and able to give out sweets on your own, you found it endearing and cute to see all the little ones running around asking for candy. You had the driveway decorated in a small way- a few body parts here and a few spiders there, but the big focal point of your decorations was none other than the bot himself, Bumblebee! He stood there nervously as the first group of kids of the night ran up to him and marveled at the “decoration” while the parents asked how you managed to accomplish such an amazing feat of engineering. “How did you get it’s eyes to glow so bright?” “It makes sounds just like a real machine!” “Oh, wow! It’s so warm and not cold at all!” After the night went on for awhile, you noticed Bee was actually having a good time receiving so much attention- you knew he would like pretending to be a statue more than he thought, olus, it was a good reminder for him about what it was that he was fighting for here on earth. These kids, these families, these people all called this floating rock their home and had nowhere else to go in the entire universe- this was a good way to not only see what he was fighting for, but for him to feel appreciated by civilians without giving away the fact he was an alien machine from another galaxy. so many kids dropped by that there was almost a party there on your block, but as it grew later and passed their bedtimes the crowd of people began to dissipate as they all waved goodbye to both you and the “statue” you let out a sigh of relief as your street was once again empty with all the houses that had light in them begin to grow dim. “How’d you like your first Halloween, Bee?” You asked as he transformed back into a car so you could usher him back into the privacy of your garage. He beeped happily at you as he began to describe all the kind things those kids said about him when they came up to place their hands on his frame- he felt so warm and loved as they spewed kind words at him in a way he had never experienced before. It made you smile as he continued on and on about his whole experience as if you weren’t there to see it, and it warmed your heart so much as you politely sat and listened to him speak with great passion and love.

Smokescreen

-You sat inside Smokescreen’s quarters that was located in the Autobot base doing nothing more than making a huge mess out of the project you had began just a few hours ago, but then again, the whole fun of this project was to get messy and mushy while teaching him the wily ways of humanity on the side. “So, why are you making a big mess again?” Smokescreen asked you as you sat on his desk covered in orange stringy pumpkin guts as you were trying to make the most traditional Jack-O-Lantern you could from this small one you picked up from the grocery store, you sighed at his question again as you tried not to touch your face out of frustration because you were still very sticky, it was literally about the third time he had asked that question- “It’s an old Hallow’s Eve tradition that dates back generations of humanity. Some people say that these little guys are supposed to protect your home from the undead, and others say they are meant to light the way for the good spirits to come and find you and give you blessings…” You explained as you finally began to carve into the surface of the pumpkin with your carving knife. “And… You believe that?” He asked in a rather crude tone as he cut you off before you could even finish your story, but you know he didn’t mean it on purpose- he just didn’t understand human customs and traditions quite yet, so it was only natural for him to think that what you were doing was rather… alien. “Does it matter if I do or not?” you shot back at him in a lighthearted tone as you placed a small tealight candle into the now hallowed and carved out shell of the tiny pumpkin “The point is that it’s tradition- and this tradition in particular can bring a lot of happiness to people. It’s a fun family activity that helps everyone get into the mood of the season, you know?” You light the candle and closed the pumpkin up  to show Smokescreen what it was that you were trying to teach him about. It was nothing fancy, just your run of the mill goofy face with triangle eyes and a jagged mouth, but it seems Smokescreen just made a strange noise as he just couldn’t wrap his mind around the concept as he looked down into the face of the Jack-O-Lantern you just carved. “C’mon, help me with the next one you big grump.” You snickered as he made a face at you calling him a grump- you pulled out another round pumpkin that was much bigger than the last one that could really use a face- the point wasn’t for him to understand really, the point was for you two to finally spend some time together doing the things that you wanted to do instead of having to worry about the war that was going on outside of these walls, and he was just happy to be spending one on one time with the one person who understand him… even if he doesn’t understand you completely yet. Hew was trying to understand, and you really appreciated the effort, even if he did fall flat sometimes.

-”Thanks for taking me all the way out to the nearest coffee shop, Smokescreen” you said as you swirled the hot cup of liquid around in your cup as you sped down the freeway to head back to Jasper. You felt a sense of comfort when you felt the warm liquid swirl around in the paper cup that was in your hands, it was a little sappy, but you knew that this little cup of coffee guaranteed that you were going to have a great start to the new season (even if you didn’t really get to experience it due to living in a desert climate). “Anything for you, though, I have to say- it smells a little funny but also a little familiar… funny in a good way, I think?” He responded as you took a big whiff of your coffee through the small ventilation  hole on the top of the cup. Pumpkin Spice, for you it was the perfect sign to let you know that it was the changing of the season, a perfect way to remind you that the rest of the world is experiencing cooler and cooler weather while beginning to prep for the upcoming holiday season. “It’s a special kind of spice that uses seasonal vegetation to celebrate a successful year of harvest- it’s a very popular scent on top of flavor. I use it all the time in the house as a candle because it’s kind of comforting.” You told him as you took a sip of your slightly too hot coffee- you might have to wait for it to cool off just a touch before you can really enjoy all of the flavors in the bitter liquid. “That must be why it is familiar! It’s comforting for me too… it reminds me of you, and anything that reminds me of you always makes me feel better.” You made an ‘aww’ noise at his words ad you put your hand on his dashboard. You could hear his voice stutter a little bit as he made a noise of sucking in air “I-I mean, you know- I like you and stuff but I- ummm.” He was stumbling through his words as he was trying to articulate his thoughts- he was so bad with words and it was so endearing and adorable to you. “You care about me and it’s very sweet, but don’t worry, just because you spill your guts to me it doesn’t make you any less of a macho mech.” You heard him sigh in relief. “Good! I mean- not that I think that kind of thing matters or anything. I mean- it does matter, but it doesn’t also… I mean-” “Relax, Smokescreen your emotional secret is just between you, me, and this cup of coffee.” You cut him off as you raised your cup a little to signify a mock toast as you took another sip of your seasonal drink. “Thanks. I appreciate it.” You just chuckled as you got comfortable in the driver’s seat once more as you opted to just watch the dry scenery pass you by once more- you reminisced about never being able to truly see the colors of fall, but that was ok, so long as you were surrounded by the people and bots that loved you nothing else really mattered.

-You jumped in your seat as you placed your hand over your chest in a way to try and quell the dramatic beating that you could feel inside of it. Smokescreen made a surprised noise as well, but his reaction was less dramatic than yours, which made you laugh harder at your own silliness. You both sat in front of a projection screen in his room just watching old classic horror movies from the 80s, you have seen all of these movies so many times as they aired as reruns on TV or they are always playing in the background during this time of year in shopping malls and movie theaters alike. “This is pretty gruesome! Why would those two teenagers stop in the middle of the woods to exchange fluids?! There is a guy trying to kill you!” Smokescreen emphasized as he was having a hard time understanding why humans would willfully do sexual things when there is a crazed serial killer on the loose. “You know Smokey, though this is a fictional movie, it has been known that adrenaline can increase the libido in humans- so scary things can make humans a little frisky.” You explained as you watched the killer hack up the poor teenagers who were screaming and begging for their lives. You didn’t really think beyond the words that came out of your mouth, as you were pretty much used to explaining things like this to Smokescreen, but when you caught him staring at you it made your face begin to flush as you asked him what he was looking at you like that for. “Are you watching this movie to… get your… libido er- going?” you nearly choked on your own oxygen as you coughed and almost panicked at what it was that he was implying. “Of course not! It’s nearly Hallow’s Eve and I was simply trying to get into the spooky mood!” you exclaimed as you put your hands on your cheeks to feel just how warm your face hard really gotten. “Ah…” He replied as he shifted a little in his seat on his berth. “Does that disappoint you?” you asked in a stoic way as you saw your opportunity to try and force Smokescreen into being more open and honest with his feelings. “I-I mean… I don’t- I don’t know. Yes? No?” He stammered as he too tried to cover his face in embarrassment “I mean- I like you. I think you’re attractive and I mean- who wouldn’t want to lay with you? N-Not that I want to right now! I mean, if you want-” You just chuckled as your face began to return to it’s normal color as you watched him struggle to find the words that were stuck in his audio box. “I know what you mean Smokey, I was just teasing you, you big goof.”you said as you gave him a gentle punch on his his servo- it was the closest appendage to you that you could reach to emphasize that you were just playing around with him. “Ok, good! Good” he sighed as he tried his best to turn his focus back onto the movie and to not try and think about the jarring conversation he just had with you where he nearly let his whole spark just puke out all of the deepest thoughts he had locked up in his processor. It wasn’t the right time to talk about that yet, but when it will be, he hopes that he doesn’t stammer and lose track of his words like he did earlier.

(02/11/2019)

[reneehearts]

Not doing this as an ask...because no one ever asks me any 😂

angel; do you have a nickname? Yes: Nee, Renizzle, Nee Nee, Doots

awe; how old are you? 27

baby; favorite color? Purple (I’d you couldn’t tell lol)

bloop; spirit animal? Monkey

blossom; favorite book/movie/song? Water for Elephants/Remember the Titans/Props and Mayhem

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child? Lumpy! He was a lil pastel horse

breeze; most precious childhood memory? Working in the garden with my Papa

bright; mermaids or fairies? Fairies

bubbles; do you have a best friend? I have a few

buttercup; showers or baths? Showers

butterfly; dream destination? Key West or Bahamas...anywhere tropical

buttons; are you religious or spiritual? More spiritual

calm; favorite scent? Pine/Christmas trees

candlelight; what did you dream about last night? I had a dream I was freaking out because I didn’t do my essay for class and it was due in like an hour lol

charming; have you ever been in love? Yes

cozy; eye/hair color? Hazel-ish/blonde

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period? 20s, 90s

cupcake; favorite flower/plant? I have a few favorite flowers: Sunflower, Daisy, Tulip, Lilac/Evergreen tree

cute; what did you get on your last birthday? Jewelry and a designer purse

cutie pie; most precious item you own? My dog

cutsie; what makes you happy? My puppy, ice cream, family/good friends

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free. I don’t know if I ever really have

daydream; how do you want to be remembered? Kind, generous, strong, independent

daylight; favorite album of all time? Collide with the Sky - Pierce the Veil

dear; zodiac sign? Leo

delightful; concerts or museums? Concerts

dimples; have you ever written a letter? Of course

dobby; dream job? Ice cream/candy store owner

doll; how do you like to dress? Cute but casual; leggings, oversized sweaters, bralettes

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences? I’ve had premonition dreams that have come true

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos? I have 8 and probably want more at some point

drizzle; do you believe in aliens? I’m not really sure

euphoric; talk about someone you love. My best friend: she would do anything for me, we have a bond through our ED that is so strong. It’s hard to explain how we are so close, we are very different and come from different lifestyles but she means the world to me. We don’t need to talk everyday to know that we are there for each other.

fairy; do you have a pet? I have my own dog; an Australian Shepherd and my parents have 4 dogs

fluffy; ocean or mountain? Ocean

forever; where do you feel time stop? Work

froglet; are you a good plant owner? Nope

garden; how many languages do you know? English fluently and then a little French and very little italian

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs? I don’t have any “favorites” I just like tumblrs that post relatable and pretty things

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice? Unicorn/fairy dust/pastel

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not? I wouldn’t mind them but I never get them haha

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself. My smile, my hair, my kindness to others, my work ethic and my abs (since I work pretty hard on them lol)

heart; silk or lace? Lace

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it? Coffee with 1% milk

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why? People because you can make up life stories about them and create scenarios. Bird watching would be fun for a little while but boring after a half hour

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep? Fan

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather? Hot and sunny!

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends? Have leisurely breakfasts on Saturday and Sunday morning, go to the city either Friday or Saturday and go on adventures, shopping, watch tv and relaxing

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more? Laugh out loud

kinky; do you blush easily? Nah not really

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most? Grand gestures once in a while

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day? Breakfast time

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad? I don’t really have an artist I have various songs by a lot of different people

love; what is your favorite season and why? Summer because I love the heat and being able to wear shorts and flip flops and not wearing 7 layers

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream? Macaron: I haven’t had too many but probably either chocolate or cotton candy. Ice cream: a mocha flavor with either brownie hits, Oreo pieces, or chocolate covered espresso beans

magic; what are five flaws you have? I can get mad easily, I’m not patient, I have ridiculous eating habits, I can be lazy and I have trouble communicating how I’m feeling

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks? Soft pastels

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other? Humor, good looks, kindness, generosity, optimistic

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date? It depends on the season! Hah

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself? On the internet, social media, playing with my puppy, working out, listening to music, watching tv.

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life? Always be kind and respectful because why not?

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more? Bake

prince; how would you describe your handwriting? Neat but after I’ve been writing for a while it turns into a print/script writing

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play? I can play the flute but I haven’t in a while

prinky; how do you relieve stress? Snuggle with my puppy

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable? Raspberry/asparagus

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read? I have no clue

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far? I really have no idea

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you? My gramma’s death

shine; art or music? Music

shimmer; do animals tend to like you? Yes

smitten; do you collect anything? Pins

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with? 1 tempur pedic type pillow then a small pillow on the side

snuggle; what is your favourite candy? Chocolate specifically dark

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind? I have the camera on my phone

sparkle; do you wear jewelry? Yes, rings, bracelets and earrings

spooky; sunrise or sunset? Sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones? No headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child? As a young kid: Barney, as a teen: Lizzie McGuire/Hannah Montana

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house. Either my bed or the couch

soothe; digital or vinyl? Digital

squeezed; who do you miss right now? A few people

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends? Loyalty, kindness, humor

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing? It depends on the situation but usually practical

sweet; do you find it easy to open up? Depends on the person honestly

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any? I do like kids and I want them but I’m not ready yet

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they? My old boss even tho I have lost touch with her

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself? How observant I am

tootsie; what kind of friend are you? Loving, generous, loyal

treasure; what was something that made you smile today? A student that said hi to me

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl? Unfortunately an early bird

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be? Teleportation

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out? Depends but usually home especially in the winter when it’s freezing

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup? Nope

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person? Mostly tidy

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older? I do love the place I grew up and I’ve moved away and now I’m back, but I just can’t take the cold weather and how expensive it is to sustain yourself here

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star? I think once

Source: luneve

[vulpinmusings]

Ski’tar and Friends part 13: Regaining Equilibrium

This week, a lost friends returns and we get back to business.

First

Previous

The flight from Akiton to Abaslom Station was a blur.  Neither 6 nor I spoke much, lost as we were in our own thoughts about Vemir’s untimely demise.  I recall being offered something alcoholic and accepting it without questioning its strength.  Other than that, it was all just my thoughts spinning around and around the topic of my guilt.

Captain Arvin and a squad of Starfinders met us at the shuttle dock to take charge of Vemir’s coffin and determine our state of mind. Arvin told us to take the time we needed to finish grieving, but also said we would need to determine what to do about Vemir’s funeral and notifying any next-of-kin.  Both of those tasks seemed incredibly difficult, since Vemir had never mentioned who his family was nor said anything to us about any Traditions he might have had for his own death.  Sixer and I determined that for the moment, we’d at least try to honor the post-mission drinks Tradition one last time.

We didn’t feel up to drinking in public, so we just found a liquor store, intending to just drink a couple beers in our quarters at Lorespire.  At the store, we ran into Orsus, one of the Junk Racers who Vemir had struck up a bit of a friendship with.  When we told him what had happened to Vemir, he bought us some slightly higher-quality beers than we had been looking at.  On our way back to Lorespire, a random street mystic took note of our downcast demeanor and correctly deduced the reason, or so I figure since he started trying to sell us a discounted resurrection ritual as we walked by.

For whatever reason, Sixer and I chose to hold our little wake in Vemir’s room.  The kasantha didn’t have much in the way of personal effects, so the room was pretty much empty aside from the standard furniture-issue bed and desk, and yet it still seemed to have a certain… spirit about it that made it obvious that it had been Vemir’s.

After nursing my bottle of beer for a while, my melancholy mood finally broke and my normal take-charge attitude started to return. Sure, Vemir was dead and it was entirely my fault, but that didn’t mean he had to stay dead.  Some priests and mystics knew the secrets to reliably return the dead to life, and there were even technological means of resurrection available, provided the corpse was fresh enough.  Such things certainly wouldn’t come cheap, but I was still fairly flush with credits and had problem with doing whatever extra work would be needed to make more if I was short.  I’d caused Vemir’s death, so it was only right I put in the effort to bring him back!

As I explained this to Sixer, who was in complete agreement with me, I pounded Vemir’s desk with a fist for emphasis, and accidentally discovered a hidden drawer.  Inside, I found a copy of the latest Strawberry Machine Cake album and an old picture of a younger and less scarred Vemir standing alongside various other beings wearing the distinctive style of the Free Captains pirate alliance.  It seemed our beloved bounty hunter had a much darker past than he had let on.

I refused to let that get to me.  I’ve caused my share of grief for others in the past, and Sixer has often alluded to being in trouble with the law on Akiton in connection with the death of a former employer.  Vemir being an ex-pirate just put him on equal footing with us.

We got in contact with Captain Arvin to declare our intention to revive Vemir.  He was in favor of the action, but said we would have to cover most of the cost out of our own pockets since the Society was still in pretty dire financial straits.  Figuring that Vemir wouldn’t object to some of his money being used to fund his return to life, I hacked into his credit account to see how much he could contribute and, after consulting with Sixer on his solvency, determined that we three could spit the cost of a resurrection equally without seriously hurting Sixer or Vemir’s ability to acquire better equipment for the inevitable next time.  As for myself, I would have to postpone upgrading my laser pistols a while longer but otherwise would be ok.  More credits would come my way sooner or later.

After we wired the money to Arvin, he arranged for the ritual to take place at a temple in the Eye.  At the time, I was surprised by this, figuring we’d be using a Regeneration Table, but looking back now I realize that Vemir had dead too long for even the best medical tech to be able to do anything for him.  We needed to rely on magic and a bit of divine favor.

Despite being given multiple opportunities to just sit and wait somewhere comfortable, I felt it was important to be present when Vemir came back to life.  You know, just in case he needed to punch a certain Ysoki in the face for acting too rashly.  Witnessing the resurrection spell was an experience.  The spell wasn’t directed at me, of course, but I still felt like reality itself was warping as the priests did their thing.  I don’t know how long it took, but in the end it worked.  Vemir’s caved-in face was restored, although he had a new scar to boast of.  He came to in a state of panic, as if briefly reliving the battle in the mine.  In his confusion, he leaped off the table and tackled Sixer, and I quickly tried to intervene, insisting that I was the one he should be attacking.

The panic faded fairly quickly, to be replaced by confusion as Vemir realized he wasn’t on Akiton anymore.  Sixer and I explained what happened and, to my utter shock, Vemir didn’t blame me for any of it.

At that point, I realized I had yet again acted a bit too hastily. Vemir had been transported to the temple in only a medical gown; he didn’t even have a mask to cover his distrublingly-shaped mouth with.  I offered him my shirt as a temporary measure, and then called Arvin for a ride back to Lorespire so Vemir wouldn’t have to walk all the way back in such an embarrassing outfit.  On the ride back ,I offered to buy Vemir replacement goggles, but he declined, saying he wasn’t going to keep that particular Tradition anymore.

We spent a full five days recuperating from our ordeal before Captain Arvin contacted us again.  He had a fairly standard Starfinder mission for us.  A survey team had recently found a new planet they’d dubbed Elytrio, and had been promptly driven away by some sort of planetary defense system.  The hologram of Elytrio that Arvin showed us depicted a planet that looked to be in about as rough a state as Akiton is: little visible water, barely any green or hospitable geography, and no obvious signs of civilization.  Arvin wanted us to take the Odyssey out to Elytrio for a second attempt at a survey and possible first-contact.  I asked if we could take the Loreseeker instead, mostly because the Loreseeker has a tech lab that I could make use of for tinkering on journey, and Arvin agreed.  He also brought Ship Captain Navasi and Science Android Iseph in to round out the crew, as is tradition.  Ispeh was eager to get going on schedule, but Navasi overruled her to give us time to stock up on necessary items.  I just bought some extra healing serums, while Sixer and Vemir looked into better armor and weapons.

The flight out to Elytrio took fifteen standard days in the Drift, so I was glad I’d asked for the Loreseeker and its workshops. I was able to use the time to experiment with modifying some frag grenades to incorporate those poisonous crystals we’d gathered from Ulmarid and made a little headway into determining the chemical structure of the crystals so they could be replicated for the evnetual mass production of the new poison grenades.

The only thing of note that we crossed paths with on the journey was a junk freighter crewed by a lone and very lonely Ysoki named Winx. He didn’t admit to being in any sort of trouble and didn’t have anything of actual interest to talk about – just inane questions about our favorite this-or-that – so we decided to just press on.

When we arrived at Elytrio, we were greeted by a slightly distorted transmission in an unknown language.  I threw together a computer app to analyze and attempt to translate the language, and that returned a warning that we should turn back or be destroyed.  Ispeh’s scans detected a hemispheric craft orbiting the planet’s moon, so we had Vemir record a couple messages to run through my translator and then transmit to the alien craft.  First, Vemir declared our peaceful intentions, and when that didn’t get a response other than the craft breaking orbit to approach us, Vemir sent a warning that we were capable and willing to defend ourselves.  The craft sent the “go away” message again and started to open up what looked like a hanger bay, so we all went to battle stations.

[journo-journey]

Astonishing 2 Hours with Dream Theater

Manahan Stadium, Solo (10/8/22)

It is impossible not to post this on my blog while it was one of the best night or day in my life. Imagine you've been listening to a band you lived so far away from for like 10-12 years, a legendary band, and you finally had the chance to see them perform live. You couldn't ask for more!

(And oh btw just realized that my last blog post was talking about Tuscany and how Dream Theater's The Count of Tuscany was one of influence for me to go there??! Just a reminder, pay attention to what you write and wish for! Because you never knew when will it came true)

Btw there were 10 songs in the show, mostly (4 songs) from A View of Top of the World album, their 15th studio album. Honestly it's amazing how they still producing this quality music at their age and considered productive. I mean, many younger bands come and go, then disappear but Dream Theater are still here.

From "only" 10 songs, it is quite difficult to predict which songs they pick for this show, other than those from the latest album. Some fans have complained that Dream Theater didn't choose Spirit Carries On 😅 (to be honest, I wished they don't pick that song and quite sure they won't pick that song, and I was right).

But, I was a happy fan that night because Dream Theater performed my favorite songs from the new album (Awaken the Master and Alien), my first DT song (The Ministry of Lost Souls), and one of my most favorite ones (The Count of Tuscany). I was a little emotional and cried like a baby when I heard The Count of Tuscany's intro like... "OMFG I'm seeing them playing this masterpiece live 😭 ".

Here is the setlist in Manahan Stadium show:

1. Alien (Grammy-winning song. Very explosive and great pick for opening. Solo part got me cried a baby)

2. 6:00 (surprisingly, I already expected them to perform this song because Mangini posted the 6:00 cover one day before the show)

3. Awaken the Master (my favorite track in the album. The title sums up the whole music well. My face when I see Dream Theater played this song live > 🥹🥹😭)

4. Endless Sacrifice (the only song in the show that I'm not familiar with. Needed to see the setlist to realized that I actually knew this song)

5. Bridges in the Sky (wished they choose Breaking All Illusions instead, but this one is ok tho)

6. Invisible Monster

7. About to Crash

8. The Ministry of Lost Souls (my first DT song back then in the high school. Ballad one, easy listening for "beginners". As time passed by, this song is actually boring but has a strong solo part. Still, memorable for me. I remember the old days when I learned guitar for this song's intro, even though I failed lol)

9. A View From Top of the World (mind-blowing song. Not a catchy one at first, heavy, and I needed to hear it like 3 times to declare this song as one of my favs in the album)

10. The Count of Tuscany (on the list of my top five most favorite DT songs. Got me cried while seeing Petrucci's solo intro and actually in a whole song. Great closing)

To this day, still find it surreal that I had the chance to see them in person and get to the front row as well. Only fence that separating me and Dream Theater lol.

I didn't attend their shows in 2012, 2014, and 2017. And their show in 2020 was canceled due to covid restriction. But the wait has all paid off. More than satisfied and what a blissful day. Would like to see them again in the future! Any song request? Yess! I'd like to see them perform Illumination Theory. What a masterpiece!

[iuinspires]

IU and Her Old Soul

My latest obsession: to watch videos of IU’s live performances of Korean oldies.

Any IU fan should be familiar with IU’s love for old songs, which she said was developed through karaoke sessions with her dad in her younger days. IU has often professed her respect and admiration for the work of her sunbaenims in the music industry, and her two Flower Bookmark albums, which feature remakes of Korean oldies, are perhaps the best testament to her love for the classics.

I love these two albums – I think songs from the yesteryear possess a certain beauty and flavour which IU leverages to showcase the unique charm of her voice. So it was with great delight that I discovered these four IU covers of Korean oldies that I had not heard of previously. Before I delve further into each of them, I must emphasize that each song is beautiful in itself, and due credit must be given to their original composers and performers for creating such wonderful music. But for me, IU’s rendition of these songs enhances the listening experience – she reinterprets each of them in her own special way, while staying true to the spirit of the original compositions. Also, what I really like about these four songs is that they showcase IU’s versatility as a singer in being able to pull off a variety of styles. Let me just elaborate a little on each of them.  

Love is Like Rainwater Outside the Window 

This IU cover of Yang Soo Kyung’s 1989 hit has become my absolute favourite in recent days, and I’ve been re-watching it obsessively ever since I discovered it. Other than MBC’s clumsy translation of the song title, everything about it is perfect. I love the beautiful accompaniment of the saxophone and flute, and how IU breezily sails through the song with her signature light, breathy vocals that complement the jazzy vibes of this rearranged piece perfectly. I’m by no means a vocal expert, but I think that characteristic huskiness and “breathiness” of IU’s voice go really well with this song, which she performs here with flair and aplomb. I think IU was aware of how well she had performed too at that point in time, for I notice that little smile of triumph that she broke into right at the end.  It’s also delightful to see how appreciative the audience is – you can see everyone from ahjummas to young men beaming and singing along – which to me is a testament to IU’s ability to connect to people of all ages through her music. It’s such a pity that this seems to be the only time she has sung this live – I do hope to hear her sing this elsewhere in future!

Old Love; Story of a 60-year Old Couple  

Old Love and Story of a 60-year old couple were originally sung by Kim Kwang Seok and Lee Moon Sae respectively – both legendary singers whom IU has expressed respect for on many occasions, and whose songs she has covered in her Flower Bookmark albums. I’ve put these two songs together because they give me similar vibes; both feature beautiful, melancholy melodies with poignant lyrics lamenting the loss of a loved one. I love these songs so much for their pure, soothing melodies, and I believe IU does too, for she has performed them on more than one occasion. Listening to IU sing these songs, what stands out most for me is her ability to emote and convey their heart-wrenching sadness through her soulful voice; listening to her sing brings tears to my eyes and gives me little goose bumps. I notice how she always closes her eyes for these performances and seems completely immersed in her emotions. That, to me, shows another strength of IU as a musician – her ability to invest in the emotions of her music, and convey this to her audience.

Most Ordinary Existence 

I was deeply fascinated from the first time I stumbled on this clip, but was frustrated at the same time - because without any English translation on the YouTube link, it took me the longest time to figure out the context of this performance (it was Ep 199 of Sketchbook!) and the background of this song. With some intense Googling I eventually found out that this was IU’s cover of a 2008 release* by Korean Indie group Sisters’ Barbershop who debuted in 1996 and whom she later collaborated with in 2017. (*Ok, so technically this song isn’t really an oldie, depending on how you define the term, but it is 10 years old now!)

It’s hard to describe my fascination with this song, but there’s something about it that feels whimsical, mysterious and full of contradictions – the beat is repetitive and the tune almost monotonous at first, yet the song is annoyingly catchy at the same time - and IU delivers it in a seemingly nonchalant, careless way in a flat tone, yet manages to ooze plenty of charm and attitude in doing so. If Love is like Rainwater showcases IU’s husky vocals while Old Love and Story demonstrate her ability to emote, I think Most Ordinary Existence shows her ability to exercise restraint over her voice (which clearly has capability to deliver more strength) to suit the style of the song where needed.

To sum up, I think these performances demonstrate not just IU’s versatility as a performer, but her varied taste and genuine love and respect for music. I remember being distinctly annoyed with an article which suggested that the Flower Bookmark album was released as a clever marketing ploy to attract an audience of an older demographic after she had alienated part of her younger fan base with her “scandal”. Whoever wrote that article clearly knows nothing about IU, who has been covering old songs since her debut days, and whose sincerity in wanting to pay tribute to the classics she loves is clear from what she’s said and done all these years, such as her heartfelt performances of the songs above. But I guess it doesn’t matter what others think – as IU said herself, you can’t please everyone, and being successful means finding people who like your honest thoughts and what you produce. IU’s passion and dedication to music is clear, and if she continues to do what she loves, her sincerity will always resonate with the right audience.

[100albumcountdown]

25. The Cure - Disintegration (1989)

Because I am an enormous music geek, I spend a good chunk of my time thinking about personal lists – things like my top 5 gigs, or my top 5 guitarists or singers, or my top 5 album covers, or my top 5 opening tracks. The latter is particularly tricky, as there are so many classic album openers; from the serrated chug of ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ to the word-building overture of ‘Sgt. Pepper’s’ or the icy, alien shimmer of ‘Everything in it’s Right Place’. If I was forced to pick one perfect opening track to offer up to the music nerd overlords, it would almost definitely be ‘Plainsong’ from The Cure’s 1989 masterpiece Disintegration. By means of proof: I even once made a Spotify playlist of great album openers, and sequenced ‘Plainsong’ as the first track. Emerging from the distant twinkling of wind-chimes, the slow motion explosion of shimmering synths, ocean-deep bass, crashing drums and Robert Smith’s treacle guitar solo; it sounds like a hurricane blowing open the rusted shut window of a dusty airless room, or a huge glacier shattering into the sea. I’ve never in my life seen a huge firework display and failed to think that it would improved by having ‘Plainsong’ as the soundtrack. It’s simultaneously massive, intimate, majestic and tragic; and when Smith’s heartbroken vocal finally arrives, it’s like listening to the whole world collapsing around him. The following album continues in this vein; with over 70 minutes of thunderous, dense, swirling songs about heart-break and loss. It wasn’t exactly new territory for The Cure – they’d always dealt in sadness and melodrama even at their poppiest – but Disintegration took their trademark style and ripped it apart, slowing it down and blowing it out to reveal the dark, aching heart at the core. Even the nominal pop songs such as ‘Pictures of You’, ‘Lullaby’ and ‘Fascination  Street’ seem to be occurring in slow motion, each one wading in syrup thick synths and vast, echoing production. Songs like ‘Closedown’ and ‘Last Dance’ are hypnotic in their simplicity, Smith’s vocals almost sounding lost amongst the billowing refrains. The only brief reprieve from the epic murk is ‘Lovesong’, a (relatively) sprightly lurch through some melodic synth leads, bright guitar chords and romantic sentiment – although still delivered in such a way that it feels right at home amidst it’s doom-laden surroundings. The band double down on the drama in the superlative second half of the record; beginning with ‘Prayers for Rain’ the dense atmosphere is pushed right to the front, the pace is slowed even further and everything is steeped in an aching sense of sadness – ‘The Same Deep Water as You’ is almost ten minutes of crushing regret punctuated by distant thunder and towering layers of keyboards that sound like a rainstorm, whilst the title track is a spiralling descent into madness and despair, a relentless throb that becomes so chaotic the only thing left is for it to finally shatter into pieces. The two closing tracks seem like the calm after the storm, with both ‘Homesick’ and ‘Untitled’ letting the remaining runtime drift away with two of The Cure’s most beautiful melodic and melancholy refrains. It sounds like unbearably heavy stuff, but Smith has a knack for melody that never lets it slip into unlistenable self-indulgence, and whilst the sound palette remains consistent throughout, there’s enough dynamic variety to stop it from ever becoming monotonous. As an album it very much deals with large scale emotions and universal themes, but Smith’s lovesick voice and intimate delivery manage to make everything seem uniquely personal – a trick he’s used throughout his 40 year career to connect with the troubled and disaffected all over the world. Disintegration is their best album because it combines both of these elements, allowing it to provide a soundtrack for the overblown emotional torment of the heartbroken as well as the intimate melancholy of the introverted. It seems to me that Robert Smith should rightly be seen as the patron saint of both.  

Also listen to: The Head on the Door,  Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me

[luuurien]

Rosalía - MOTOMAMI

(Neoperreo, Alternative R&B, Art Pop)

Rosalía's mess of a third album isn't even a left turn, it's a collision into a completely new world for the flamenco nuevo star into neoperreo and experimental electropop. That doesn't mean that MOTOMAMI works in the slightest though: rarely is there any sense of motion or charisma to anything here and the album is a headache as a full body of work.

☆½

There's something about MOTOMAMI I can't help but adore. It's so upfront with its eccentricities that finding joy in watching Rosalía toy around with all these new sounds is a joy in itself, moving from a futurist Flamenco Nuevo to a rave-ready party monster taking in as much energy as possible. MOTOMAMI features everything from bright and alien neoperreo to tearful ballads and even dashes of the Latin R&B and flamenco nuevo she made her name on, not only bringing everything she's done thus far into the album but a whole host of new ideas that she's never tried as well. But that doesn't make up for MOTOMAMI's lack of shape or structure: its varied ideas aren't implemented in any interesting or meaningful way and rarely is there a moment where something truly pops out about her music this time around. It's an album with a brilliant concept and many exciting ideas but holds back on just about all of them. Doing something more fun this time around, Rosalía takes the punchy reggaetón developments of modern neoperreo and tries her hand at more intense, in-your-face party tunes with fat rhythm sections and expressive performances. And she is able to achieve that many times throughout MOTOMAMI: SAOKO's mud-covered synth bass cuts through everything else in the mix while Rosalía's playful rapping shows a newfound sportfulness in her music, BIZCOCHITO's sing-song background vocals and speedy dembow groove makes for two minutes of the best music MOTOMAMI's got to offer, even the colder vibe LA COMBI VERSACE works perfect as this early-morning party soundtrack where fellow reggaetón star Tokischa joins Rosalía for some last-minute antics. But apart from BIZCOCHITO, whose wild energy and whimsical atmosphere make it one of the album's highlights, most of the songs on MOTOMAMI just don't go anywhere in particular, and the placid feel of many tracks puts you in a spot where it's hard to tell whether to party or collapse to the ground. LA FAMA's hand drums and prominent bassline don't develop across the songs three minute runtime, The Weeknd's Spanish sung verse way too coarse and croony for a beat as smooth as the one lead producer Noah Goldstein and company have put together. Pharrell Williams appears three times on MOTOMAMI for ballad HENTAI, the title track, and aforementioned neoperreo jam LA COMBI VERSACE, but his presence is underutilize except for the title track where his scuzzy basslines and jazzy synth leads only get a little over a minute to try and do as much as possible before going right into the next track. The sound of MOTOMAMI is a constant detriment, even if the spirit's all there. It's also a complete mess in terms of structure and mood. While that's part of MOTOMAMI's essence, that it's this uncompromising album where Rosalía does nothing except what makes her heart sing in the studio, there's ways to put together a varied album without making it a bother to listen to. Because all of MOTOMAMI falls so flat, the changes in sound come across more jarring than exciting, going from the the mushy neoperreo/pop rap crossover CHICKEN TERIYAKI to the oddly comedic sex ballad HENTAI, the final stretch of MOTOMAMI goes so many different places without making a statement through any of them, Rosalía bursts the curtains wide open only to reveal nothing behind them. It's also odd that the first half of the album is chock full of neoperreo, and she stuffs all the other styles onto the b-side: MOTOMAMI's diversity is difficult to find evenly spread across a full listen. There's three ballads back-to-back at the end (DELIRIO DE GRANDEZA, CUUUuuuuuute, COMO UN G) going right into an interlude, a reggaetón jam and yet another ballad, how any of this could feel absorbing is beyond me. MOTOMAMI's got some good ideas going for it, but Rosalía seems virtually incapable of understanding what to do with them. It's unevenly produced, poorly structured, and lacks a sense of style throughout, a slimy cluster of tracks that can't hold itself to a specific goal over its near 43-minute runtime. Everything that makes MOTOMAMI interesting only exists in the hypothetical, the actual results of these many concepts buried under songs that aren't brave enough to fully step into the light and embrace the full fire that could've come from this, comfortable doing things Rosalía's familiar with and only barely dipping her toes into the wider world of sounds she pokes and prods at throughout. If there's anything that MOTOMAMI proves, it's that Rosalía is ready to do more than we ever would have dreamed with her music and artistry. It's not a success in the slightest, but it is the beginning of a new story, and that curiosity is worth more than anything on the laundry list of issues MOTOMAMI has trailing behind it.