#I MEAN I HOPE IT DOESNT TAKE THIS LONG BUT YANNO

[freaksun]

hot, hotter, hottest

part 2 of this ! i actually fucking hate this but some people asked for a part two so I feel like i should post it anyways lol

super long and boring and no p in v happens plus the writing is just bad cause i was stoned to get thru it lmaooo

sorry guys ive never written smut before 🥲🥲send some smut requests so i can practice!!

“im gonna close the door”

you’re giddy, practically tripping over your own feet on the short walk to his bedroom door. you take a deep breath, your hand resting on the cheap flimsy wood. you hope to ground yourself so you can really remember this. whatever this is gonna be.

he’s trying to calm himself too, his hands running up and down his thighs, trying to focus his hands on the denim of his jeans. he leans back against his bed -still sitting on the floor- takes a deep breath, and watches you come back to him.

he adores your smile everyday, but even moreso now that theres a coy tilt of your neck, tilting your chin inward.

you’re not sure how to re-initiate a hot-and-heavy makeout session. you feel awkward and nervous but the way hes looking at you certainly helps. plus, its making you feel hot.

youre still standing while his face is at about waist level. youve been in this position before but this time hes not hiding how it makes him feel. hes looking up at you with a hungry, downright devilish look in his eyes. his hands come up your thighs, rubbing up and down the soft fabric of your pajama pants and stopping at your hips.

“i love you too, y’know”

his big brown eyes stare up into yours, crawling up into your brain and consuming your thoughts entirely. he wants, no, needs you to know he means it.

you run your hands through his hair, petting him like you’ve been dating forever. there are a million things your mind tells you to say, but you cant articulate anything, too caught up in the excitement of this moment.

you crawl onto the bed behind him. he follows you, laying on his stomach looking at you while you get comfortable (as comfortable as you can with the way your heart is pounding and youre in a cold sweat) with your arms wrapped around your knees, holding them close for comfort.

something he always liked about you is your cute little self-soothing behaviours. the way you try so hard to be present in every moment, to not miss a thing.

“you ok?” he touches your shin softly, rubbing on it comfortingly and then sliding his hand down to wrap around your ankle. hes always touchy like this, tries his best to make you feel loved and safe while also using it as an excuse to touch and love on you.

“yeah.. im fine, eds.” you smile, but it doesnt reach your ears. he frowns, in a overdramatic cartoony ‘i know youre lying’ kind of way. silly as he is.

“im just..” you sigh “i dunno.. i guess ive wanted this so long. dreamed about it, yanno?”

hes blushing, suddenly bashful.

“yeah, i know baby.. me too.” he doesnt want to admit to all the times hes thought about how you’d sound, how you’d feel under him, how you’d taste and what you’d be into. doesnt want to confess to touching himself staring at a model pretending its you, or imagining it was your hand wrapped around his cock. so all he says is me too.

“i just- what if.. what if im not good? what if i cant.” you struggle to say the words out loud

“what if i cant make you.. f-feel good and you change your mind?” your eyes bore into his, wide and shining with passion

his mouth feels dry as he stares back with an awestruck expression. he cant imagine a world where you’d be naked in front of him, and he’d do anything but worship you.

“baby..” he sits up, looking you in your eyes

“i- i dont want you for that, i love you.” he caresses your face, pinching your cheek lightly.

“I dont care about that stuff, y’know? and.. you know, im not-“ he laughs nervously

“Im not that.. well versed.” he clears his throat

your eyes widen “you mean..” you cant believe hes a virgin, looking like that?? being as sweet and charming and fucking sexy as him??

“N-no!! I mean ive had.. experiences, but.” hes all stuttery and nervous, you find it incredibly endearing. “I dont think they liked me all that much.. it was just embarrassing, honestly.”

you dont know what to say. you feel bad, but you dont think a pitied tone would really help him. you think it might emasculate him or whatever..

“Oh..” your eyes flicker between his lips and making eye contact. its selfish, but you enjoy the idea of being his first nice experience.. “come here.”

you open your knees so he can crawl between them, slotting himself there nice and snug as you grab his face and pull him in.

your eyes are already closed, mouth slightly open when his lips hit yours, and in seconds, its tongues clashing fighting for dominance as you both make quiet noises of pleasure

his hands move down, one on your hip holding you possesively, the other grazing your chest, timid. you grab his wrist and force his hand down, giving him complete permission, almost begging him.

his large hand squeezes gently, he groans immediately at the soft squish of your clothed boob.

he pulls back just to groan “fuck” and “you have no idea how long ive wanted to touch your pretty tits”

you giggle at his boyish slang, it makes you feel dirty but in a good way, like a teenage fantasy.

(and you were his, so…)

you tug at his shirt, staring up at him with doe eyes, looking innocent despite the way your thighs are already squeezing him. he smirks and wastes no time in ripping his lazy band tee off.

your breath shudders, eyes taking his lean torso in. you’ve seen him shirtless plenty of times - and yes of course you noticed when he suddenly had abs and a slender v line running down into his pants- but seeing him like this, his chest heaving in big adrenaline filled breaths, leaning over you with a nasty look in his eyes… it was almost too much

“like what you see?” he teases, ego beaming at the way you falter, eyes stuck drinking him in.

“so much.” your fingertips softly run up his abs, following up to grab the back of his neck to pull him in yet again, you just cant get enough of this thing youve been yearning for so long.

he chuckles against your lips, then gently takes your bottom lip between his teeth and pulls ever-so-gently.

you whine much to his delight, sounding absolutely wrecked and pathetic.

your hands roam around his neck, running up his head to get a nice handful of hair, pulling at it while he swipes his tongue across your teeth and you giggle

“you are a freak” you giggle and pull his head back, exposing that pretty neck of his

he groans, and almost whimpers and the sound is fucking delicious, goes directly between your thighs.

you latch onto his neck, sucking and nibbling gently, a touch of pain that you know he’ll like

and he does, blatantly, whining and sounding just as pathetic as you. (if not more)

he can feel you smirking against the wet skin you just defiled, and feels he needs to get some power back in this battle for dominance

he thumbs at the hem of your shirt

“can i take this off?” you crumble all over again at how sweet he is, how sweet you knew he’d be

“go for it, rockstar” you smile and he thinks you might be a siren sent to ruin his life

he pulls your cute fitted shirt up over your head and you thank the universe that you wore your good bra, the lilac one with the cute pattern sewn into it

he swallows, like a nervous cartoon and you fall even deeper for him

“h-holy shit” he mutters under his breath and you’re not sure if he even knows he did

“very romantic” you scoff, teasing him

“sorry, i mean.. holy shit”

you sit up, your knees in between his

“s’just a bra eds..” youre smiling in that way he almost never sees you smile and he thinks you enjoy tormenting him (you do, very much)

“wanna take it off?” you look up at him, innocent eyes right above the most sinfil smirk

he nods quickly, eyes wide to match his whole cartoon thing

he snakes his slender arms around you, and you feel his warm hands fumbling the clasp while his tongue sticks out in concentration

he looks entirely too nervous for your liking, getting more and more discouraged every second he cant get it off. he wants to be charming and smooth and sexy, not geeky and awkward and not able to take a fucking bra off

“s’okay baby” you kiss his cheek, your voice soft but stern

“no rush. you got it, try again” your encouraging words in that buttery sultry tone makes him wanna devote himself to you

he takes a deep breath and tries two more times, his eyes light up when he sees your straps fall down your arms

he bites his lips as a subconscious grounding technique as he pulls your bra down your arms and off your chest, he wants to remember every inch of you, just incase you change your mind and never wanna do this again

his lashes flutter the second your tits are exposed, his jaw going slack and you swear his eyes glaze over.

“God fucking damn, mama” his hands trail up your hips, the sides of your tummy, and tremble lightly as they feel you, finally

his eyes flicker to yours but he cant seem to maintain eye contact when your perfect tits are right in front of him, literally in his hands

in a total trance he follows his instincts on autopilot, leaning down to kiss his way to your nipple without even thinking

his kisses trail from the top of your chest down to the swell of your boob, his hand on your shoulder softly pushing you to lay on his pillows, propped up in the perfect position for him to lick and then latch his lips to your nipple, softly sucking

you gasp quietly, most guys just made out with you before sex, none have ever been interested in much foreplay - especially like this, his tongue circling your sensitive nipple, his hand squeezing your other boob and playing with that nipple too

your hands find his head quickly, running your fingers through his hair and gently massaging, making him moan the loudest yet

he’s practically slipping into sub space, completely entranced in the act of service while you pet his head like a good dog

he pulls off you with a *pop* , licking you a few more times for good measure before he’s looking up at you, completely wrecked

his hair is messy, face flushed, eyes lidded with heavy want, and his lips all bright pink

“will you please let me taste you?” his voice is lamblike, practically begging

your breath hitches as you continue gently scratching at his scalp

“o-okay” you’re entirely unsure, no one else had ever shown any interest in going down on you, too preoccupied with hitting and running without even asking if you got off, and the idea of him between your thighs like that is making you tremble

“thank you” he moans against your skin, kissing both tits, your tummy, above your fleecy pjs that cover your cunt

your eyelids flutter, the combination of his good manners and his face so close to your most sensitive and intimate place making you dizzy

his eyes meet yours, a giddy expression on his stupid face as he pulls your pjs down your hips but you stutter when he takes your panties between his fingers

“i-i..” he looks up at you with wide eyes

“do you not want me to? w-we dont have to..” he gently rubs your thigh

“n-i do, im just..” he smiles suddenly and you think its odd, but its just him reading you like a book as always

“no one’s ever done this before?” you blush and look down at your bare thighs, shaking your head

“look at me baby” you do. “thats a real shame. real fucking shame no ones ever kissed this pretty pussy” hes never seen your eyes this wide and it fuels his ego for this whole charming thing hes doing

“its gonna feel real good baby, what are you scared of?” hes direct but its clear in his face hes not judging you and you know he’d never pressure you into anything

“uh-i- uhm. just- just stop if its bad, ok?” you stop making eye contact

he cant think of a sophisticated and sweet thing to say so he opts for shutting you up

he adjusts his grip on your thighs and pulls you closer to him, his nose poking at your clothed clit

he smirks, absolutely giddy as he pulls your panties down gently, looking into your eyes for a second before he cant help staring as more of you is revealed

his entire demeanour changes once theyre off and you swear you hear him whisper some sort of prayer quietly

he wastes no time, his lips gently kissing your bare pussy trying to be as gentlemanly as he’d always fantasized but he cant help himself for more than a second before losing his composure and eating you like a madman

his tongue runs up and down your slit, exploring entirely for his own benefit, noting everything he feels in the folders of his memories. it licks up your cunt in a cupped position, scooping up the slick that was all all for him and savouring the taste of you in his mouth. he groans at the taste, then finally his tongue finds your clit and he knows its time to put all his time spent imagining this moment to use

he flicks up and down your knot of nerves, swirling his tongue around once, twice, three times while you whine before smothering your poor clit with his lips and sucking, causing you to practically wail, your hand flying to his hair as your mind fights between the urge to run away from the feeling and the urge to grind against his face

you cry his name as he pulls off with a satisfying pop, a sick smirk on his face as he licks his lips

“feel good?” he teases but youre beyond the point of embarrassment, entirely fucked out and in desperate need of orgasm. youve needed this far too long to be denied now

“god, yes, please, keep going” immediately he knows that you begging is the hottest thing he will ever hear.

his tongue licks up the seam of your pussy, circling around and around your clit while you keen, arching your back so you press into his face. he ventures his tongue down and up inside you, his nice big nose pressing into your clit deliciously. he’s absolutely ecstatic when you start grinding against him, soaking his face even more as his tongue squirms deeper inside you and his nose nudges your swollen clit.

“Fuck, eds! m-more, please!” he smiles at your manners even while he’s tongue-deep inside you, but obliges, moving up to overstimulate your clit while slowly pressing a finger into you. You whine, your back arching and walls clenching around his prodding finger. he quickly adds another finger, moving them gently but firmly pressing into your sweet spot deep inside you. his fingers being longer than yours slipped your mind until they were massaging your insides.

his tongue flicking and fingers fucking eventually drive you to a high pitched orgasm as your thighs close around his head, your body twitching and clenching around his fingers. he licks you softly and fucks you sweet as you cum for him

once your peak hits and your breathing slows to an exhausted pant he gently pulls his fingers out, licking them clean while making sick eye contact with you. he pulls your pjs & underwear back up for you while you catch your breath.

“..Do you want me to return the favour?” you ask timidly after regaining your composure. He laughs nervously and shakes his head, looking down at your bed

“No need, sugar, im taken care of.” he sits up, cringing as he feels his cum sticking to him and his pants, warm but slowly cooling. he refuses to unscrunch his eyes, anticipating laughing and teasing

“fuck thats so hot”

[marsoid]

This is my second ask bc like,,,,ur artstyle (and u) are so crunchy,,,,this is a good thing so heres another silly little thing

Ive binged your comic like 6 times by now because it surprisingly doesnt take me that long ro read it and it (along with your profile) have been lifesavers im ngl. I started weirdly adapting Mitch's talking pattern and all my friends call me insane for it so I guess I really am keeping it in character (Mitch im sorry 🙏) but seriously this comic means the whole world to me. Im sad it ended but im glad it ended on a positive note, yanno? The boys deserve nothing but the best after everything. Also, I have full hopes that Dean is dead 🙏

Also I did have a random question because this either wasj't answered in the comic, or I completely missed it, but do we know why Jonas was put in foster care? Or is that a creator-only fact that we dont get to know? Either way, I hope you're doing well, thank you for making the silly little boys, and thank you for making Mitch exist cuz he's my absolute favorite

hey thanks i appreciate it!

Jonas and Sidney were in foster care before adopted by Dean and Sue because they were abandoned by their parents

[abby-something]

oh boy!! they’re going to build up to the new series by airing each episode every week! I should calculate how long it will take to air the new series!!

...wait....

.......

[heyitsyn]

Prove Me Wrong

M!Reader x Oikawa

a/n: SDKLFJSLDKFJDLSKF OKAY I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED BUT I REALLY INVESTED MY TIME INTO RESEARCHING AND READING FANFICS WITH AN M!READER BC I REALLY DIDNT WANNA GET IT WRONG SO I APOLOGIZE IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND I HOPE THIS ANON LIKES IT!!!

anon:

-heres an interesting thought. what about flamboyant oikawa with a cold boyfriend😳😳

YEYYY I FINALLY UPDATED

LETS GET STARTED SHALL WE?

okayokayokay

so in the request above

this is a m!reader

meaning you will be male in this one so hehe yep the story starts now

you are,,,

distant

and cold

but its mainly just because you were,,,

too tired to actually put in the effort of socializing

between bouncing between part-time jobs to care for your siblings and to schoolwork and book club

the mans can only do so much

so you spend most of your time in school just trying to catch up on sleep bc youre too busy studying up all night for exams since yanno

✨gRaDuaATiOn✨

unfortunately for you, your class had the famous manwhore oikawa tooru

why is that a bad thing?

well, imagine just trying to get some shut eye and suddenly, you just hear a bunch of screaming girls and it gets louder the closer the guy approaches your classroom and when he opens it,

the screams become 10x bass boosted

then imagine that with your sensitive hearing

now,,

it does bother you but it wouldnt bother you as much if he told them to leave

BUT NOOOOOO

he decides to let them in and chat with them and flatter them and continue with that bs until the bell rings

even then,

the girls in your class cant help but keep giggling at him and he always whispers in that obnoxious voice and youre just like two seconds away from ripping his tongue out

now

you dont hate him

you just genuinely dislike his way of living

and the way he talks

and the way he acts

yea see?

no hate

theres a difference

then there was that one time that you got so fed up with it that when oikawa settled on his seat and the fangirls circled him like some cult

they started talking to him all at once trying to get his attention

so it was a garbled mess of sounds and you growled, burying your face deeper in your arms because you would snap really really soon

then one girl shrieked when oikawa smiled at her and then you really just let go of all bearings

your chair made a squeak as you shot up, palms slamming against the wooden desk and your eyes glaring straight at them

‘go back to the farm, ya squealing pigs’

DSKFJLSDFKJSDFKDJS SORRY I LOVE TSUMU

this made everyone silent-even the others in the class just minding their own business

they all knew you as the quiet kid who didnt really talk much but those who did were really scared at you and the way you talked to them with such a cold and monotonous voice that they started spreading rumors about you

even absurd ones like your eyes are so cold bc youve killed so many people that you have no life and empathy left

LIKE WHAT THE HECK YOU STRUGGLED TO GET A SPIDER OUT OF YOUR SISTERS ROOM THE OTHER DAY LIKE EXCUSE YOU

but apparently they were just,,, so scared of you that when you finally got done with them and bursted out, the girls started crying

YALL KNOW THE SAYING LIKE HELL HAS STARTED WHEN THE QUIET KID SNAPS

the females run out of the room scared and the others nervously looks at you

your eyes sweeped through the room and each one of them flinched when you made eye contact with them

YES ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE M/N

the only who didnt was oikawa tooru himself

your eyes landed on him and he still had that stupid smug look on his stupidly gorgeous face and you wanted to ki-WAIT NO SLAP it off of him

‘the hell you looking at?’

you grumbled at him and he just merely shook his head with a smile

‘you remind me a chihuahua, m/n-chan. so cute when its angry’

‘HAH?!’

now it isnt a surprise to hear oikawa tooru say that to a boy bc wowza the school loves him so much that hes a bi icon in seijoh and hes such a king like who cares?

but they were surprised to see you turn red, the tips of your ears to the base of your neck were all flushed

‘see? so cute, right, everyone?’

KSDFJLSDKJFS

THE NERVE OF THIS MAN

the class didnt say anything except just put their heads down bc as much as they wanted to agree with oikawa at how suddenly hot you looked, they were too scared that you might plummet their faces to the ground

maybe thats when everyone started noticing you more

again, you were very quiet, you didnt talk much, you just sat there and listened so obviously you didnt really stand out but then that outburst made you more noticeable

you started seeing girls in your class staring at you then blush and look away abashedly

then the guys in your class started greeting you, even people in the hallways

ngl the attention you suddenly got was overwhelming

especially when oikawa seemed to call out to you all the time now

as you were walking down the stairs, hed see you and he’d shout and wave to you

‘m/n-chan! hiii!!!!’

his loud voice would make everyone turn and look at you and you dont do well with public attention so you turn red and you glare at him

‘shut the hell up, idiot. and dont call me by my first name. we’re not friends’

you turned to walk in the classroom but you looked at him again after taking a few steps

there he was

smiling and giggling with those girls

all he does is smile and giggle and shit

its so damn fake that you cant believe everyone fell for it and the worst thing is oikawa’s doing it to get everyone’s acceptance and validication

it was pathetic and disgusting

poor oikawa :(

now on to baby flatttykawa side,

he was kinda hurt by that

like how the heck are you not friends when youve been going to high school for 3 years?

sure, its only been casual greetings and him waving at you when yall made eye contact

but its still something, right?

right?

when you walked back into the classroom, tooru cant help but feel down at the declaration of the lack of friendship you had

his form slouched and his eyes trailed down but the voice of some girl brought him back to where he was and to fix his attitude

‘oikawa-san? are you okay?’

the others muttered in concern with her but they were eased when he raised a peace sign with the signature smile 

‘yep! all good!’

GOD I REALLY CANT STAND IT WHEN HE USES A FACADE TO EVERYONE BUT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BC HES SUCH A STRONG CHARACTER THAT DOESNT BREAK AND HES SO INSECURE AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS THE NEED TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK EVERYDAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

truth be told,

oikawa has always noticed you

not only do you work at the one bakery with his milk bread but you also work at the convenience store that the team sometimes visits

then he also noticed you picking up your brother from the volleyball practice that takeru’s part of and he cant help but frown at the eyebags under your eyes that he always sees

he lies awake at night just thinking how you would look without those eyebags, without the sickly looking complexion, or even just the lack of life in your eyes

then during class, you sat by the window

tooru knows this bc his eyes always fixes itself on you whenever he opens that door and he has to hold in the need to hug you when he sees you sleeping on your desk

others might call you lazy

others might call you a video game all nighter kid

but they dont notice the things you do

the nervous habits hes seen from you at the times that tooru couldnt help but stare

he knew it was creepy to do it

but you were so silent

you blended yourself into the background and you made sure to stay there 

thats why nobody knows anything about you

with good looks like yours and a smart brain (he knew this from mattsun and makki being your students), why exactly were you not known?

maybe thats why it drew you to him

all his life he chased, 

but now hes the one chasing?

tooru knows that your left eyebrow lifts when sensei writes something you dont understands

tooru knows that you like to do sudoku in the convenience store while you worked

tooru knows you eat the same meal during lunch every day from the same lunchbox

and he also knows that your brother talks so highly about you from takeru

the little things your brother brags about like your ability to cook f/f or your weird ability to just assemble something without looking at the instruction manual

he notices and knows all these things about you

things that people never really even bothered to 

oikawa didnt even know he liked you until iwaizumi pointed it out during lunch

the third years liked to go and eat at the rooftop where it was nice and windy

oikawa was sitting and leaned against the tall wire fence, his eyes fixated on you down below on the bench as you ate your lunch

then you accidentally loosened the chopsticks causing your food to slip off

that made oikawa giggle

he was chuckling and giggling that the others noticed him when he suddenly went quiet

‘oi, oikawa’

makki nudged him back to them and tooru flinched before smiling at them

‘hm? so you do notice me!’

iwa glared

‘idiot. of course we do. youre laughing over there like some damn schoolgirl. did one of your fangirls posses you or something? if not, cut it out. its ugly’

oikawa shot him an offended look

‘what?! iwa-chan so mean!’

mattsun took the liberty to peer over the edge to see what he was looking at and smirked

‘eh? were you looking at l/n-sensei?’

oikawa blushed, feeling like he just got caught doing something bad

‘and what about it? im looking at you too, right now, mattsun!’

makki cackled at oikawa’s poor attempt of reasoning

‘i mean, i dont blame you. if issei wasnt here, id definitely get with him’

SEDKLFJSDLFISDKFJ MATTSUHANA YALL :”)

oikawa’s eyes wandered back down to you and he noticed you put the bento box to the side before sneezing

‘gosh, even his sneeze is cute’

he mumbled then jolted when he heard his own words 

iwa sighed

‘what are we going to do with you, shittykawa?’

‘what?! what did i do?!’

iwa’s eyes scrunched and he scrutinized his best friend

‘boke. i feel bad for that kid, doesnt know this stupid idiot likes him’

so thats how oikawa came to terms of it

he thought he was just interested and fascinated with you but he really does like you

and to be honest, he doesnt really want you to know that bc duh, you dont like him so why bother?

baby oiks doesnt interact with you much anymore bc he knows you get uncomfy with attention but he still does look out for you and decides he should just admire from afar

he will live every day just holding his feelings in for you and one day they will disappear

but today just wasnt the day

maybe today was the start of the worst yet the best part of your life

last night was particularly rough as the convenience store you worked in had a drunk person who wanted to fight with you and your manager had to call the police and it was just a mess

to add on to it, midterms were around the corner-like next week- so you were studying up for that

but your sister got sick so you were also trying to take care of her and making sure her fever was going down and her crying ever few hours about her tummy ache didnt allow you to sleep

hehehe single parent working late tingz

ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE MISS RONA JFC

so yep haha you did NOT get any sleep

so you walked into school that morning, looking tired as hell and mad as hell but you just wanted to sleep bro

the one kid you tutor, matsukawa issei, and his friend who usually tags along, hanamaki takahiro, noticed you dazedly pass them in the hallway and poor dudes felt bad for you

mattsun actually pays you to tutor him bc he knows you need the money while taka preferred to buy you snacks and drinks as compensation

so it was normal that he had an energy drink in his bag that he was going to give you tomorrow during your tutoring day

‘oi! l/n!’

your head perked up at the call of your name and you nodded in greeting at the light brown haired boy

‘hey’

you muttered and mattsun placed his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright

‘oi, l/n, you sure you want to be here? you can go home and we can tell them youre sick or some-’

but you waved your hand

‘nonono todays an important lecture so i cant miss it’

the two guys didnt look convinced but they respected your need to be in school since they too need to be in class for midterms

‘here. at least take this’

makki placed a drink on your hand and you nodded and gave them a small smile

‘thanks’

you mumbled before wandering off

once they saw you at a distance away, makki wrapped an arm around issei to get his attention

‘ya think we should tell oikawa to keep an eye on him? make sure he doesnt keel over and die or somethin?’

mattsun stopped before nodding

‘yea thats a good idea’

SKLFJLSDKJFD NOT MATTSUHANA BEING YOUR PARENTS

oikawa was already in class when you walked in and he cant help but tear his eyes away from the girls to you as you sluggishly walked to your seat

the drop of your bag and the thud of your head meeting the desk made him worried bc you looked worse than usual

his phone buzzed and he checked it to see a message from mattsun

‘keep an eye out for your boyfriend. mightve been working late last night and yanno how he is. just watch out if he faints or something’

okay that made him super worried

totally ignoring what mattsun called you, oikawa knew he needed to talk to you

but these fangirls were the first problem

he shut his phone off and looked up at them with a grin that made them madly blush

‘ladies, class is about to start. oikawa-senpai would hate for you to be marked. so study hard for me, okay?’

like hypnotized cult members, the girls ran to their classrooms and tooru finally had the opportunity to talk to you

he stood up and walked over to your seat

‘m/n-chan’

he called out, looking down at you

‘m/n-chan’

he tried again and was about to put a hand on your shoulder when your hand snatched it

‘dont touch me, oikawa’

you grumbled and tooru furrowed his eyebrows

‘m/n-chan, i just wanted to ask if youre okay’

he whined and you didnt bother to look up but just let go of his hand

‘i was until you came over, idiot’

ouch

tooru was thankful that the teacher came in then and there bc he didnt know how to respond to that

he wanted to brush it off but it hurt him a little

and he knows he shouldnt entertain his crush on you but he couldnt looking at you and watching as you got up to use the bathroom 

as class went on, oikawa was starting to worry

now again, hes no stalker bc his observation skills were just phenomenal due to volleyball

so he noticed that youve been in the bathroom for like 20 minutes now

DONT JUDGE US, OIKAWA. WE’RE JUST TRYING TO PUSH OUT THE BIG PIECE OF-

okay nevermind

anyways

tooru, worried that something happened, raised his hand to go and use the bathroom and the sensei wasnt exactly paying attention so he just let him go

thank god he has long legs bc he was able to reach the bathroom quick and he stifled a shriek when he saw your passed out form inside

‘M/N-CHAN!’

he yelled and he cursed when duh you were alone and who knows how long youve been there

and ew bathroom floors is bleh

you were in no way light but you werent exactly heavy either so he was able to muster up all his strength and hoisted you on his back

tooru’s heart thrummed in his chest and he knew it couldnt be that serious but he cant help but think of the worst

and yep

the nurse just told him that your heartbeat was okay and you were snoring so you mustve been exhausted by the dark circles in your eyes

‘keep an eye on him for me. i have to tend to midoriya over there. the kid broke his arm again and i dont know how’

she grumbled at the end but tooru didnt care as he sat on the chair next to your bed

he sighed before laying his head on the cot by your hand

his eyes settled on your face and how peaceful it looked

gosh, you really were so cute

your personality just sucked ass

constantly telling him to shut up and calling him idiot

hmph

not long after oikawa fell asleep, you woke up and cursed, immediately realizing you fainted and you missed class

as you were going to rub your eye, there was weight on your hand and you looked down to see a head full of brown hair that could only belong to a certain someone

a certain idiot

‘oi. oikawa, wake up’

you shook his head and when he didnt budge, you just pulled your hand from under him making him jump awake

at first, he was confused

looking around like a lost puppy and his eyes bleary

yea it was cute and what about it

then he noticed you sitting up and he smiled

‘you feeling better, m/n-chan?’

he asked, leaning close 

but you placed your hand on his face to push him away

‘yea. and stop leaning so close, idiot’

you grumbled and he whined

‘youre so mean, m/n-chan! i was so worried about you!’

he complained and you rolled your eyes

‘i didnt ask you to be, idiot’

SLDKFJSDLKFJKL M/N IS SO MEAN WHAT THE FAK

oikawa frowned

‘i cant help it. i like you, m/n-chan’

you froze, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows

then you chuckled dryly

‘yea, okay sure. im okay now so you can go to class’

wOW OIKAWA DESERVES BETTER WHAT

tooru was taken aback

‘wh-what? thats it? after i just told you that i liked you?’

you blinked at him

‘what do you want me to say about that, oikawa? how do you want me to react? im not like your fangirls, squealing and shit’

your words cut deep in him and oikawa held your arm

‘no wait a minute. what do you mean by that? do you not believe me?’

‘who the hell believes something that’s fake?’

there was a snip in your tone and oikawa knew you were talking about this facade of his

‘what? i-’

‘you think i believe you? you telling me you like me? do you even know who you are?’

you asked and tooru sniffled, eyes staring at your chest

‘for years, you told people what you wanted them to hear, regardless if you meant them or not. not once have you ever told them no. who the hell accepts chocolates when they dont even like them to begin with?’

at that last part, oikawa snapped up to meet your eyes

‘how did you know’

you rolled your eyes

‘our brothers are friends, idiot. he gave him some of the chocolates you gave to takeru since the brat couldnt eat them all’

oddly, that brought some warmth in tooru’s chest

so he wasnt the only one who knows the stupid stuff

but you continued on your rant

‘for a guy who doesnt like sweet stuff, youve accepted their nasty treats all the time, like why? oh, wait i know why, because you want them to like you. it doesnt matter if-if this-this persona of yours isnt real because as long as they like you, you dont give a fuck. isn’t that true? am i right? because please, prove me wrong’

maybe your dislike for him came out at that tangent and you half expected him to cry but you were surprised when he glared at you with teary eyes

‘i will. ill prove you wrong, m/n, that i do like you and i will make you like me. ill make you like me with the real me. i swear.’

‘mhm. okay. sure, oikawa’

do you regret it?

i mean,,,

kinda?

but not really?

because you loved watching the girls faces fall when oikawa rejected their treats the next day

you were walking to class when you noticed him with his cult by the entrance and you saw him smiling at some girl before gently pushing away a can of cookies

‘gomen. i actually dont like sweets that much anymore. if you want, you can give me milk bread?’

you stopped and oikawa caught your eye and he grinned

you nodded in greeting before continuing to walk

but he noticed a small smile on your face and gosh oikawa sighed like a lovesick fool

it took iwaizumi to finally send him back and his fangirls were looking at him worriedly

‘could you be less obvious, shittykawa?’

rip iwaizumi hajime in episode 546546546 of daily adventures of oikawa tooru

you noticed that oikawa has started to become distant with his fangirls and hes been sticking to you during lunch, leaving behind the others

makki and mattsun looked like proud parents as they peered down over to you flicking oikawa’s forehead and they smiled

‘god, that kid deserves this’

‘hah? that sounds like more of a punishment to me. but i dont care. it takes him off our hands for a while’

IWA I SWEAR HES SO MEAN BUT HE STILL WUVS TOORU SO ITS OKAY

oikawa would pick your brother up and take him home when youre too busy to go get him yourself and sometimes, he even takes your little sister too which causes them to have a mini sleepover and you sleep there too

also, whenever youre working in the convenience store, tooru would buy sandwhiches and a drink just for you so you can eat them while youre on break and not have to waste money and you told himyou dont want him spending money on you but he doesnt wanna hear it

‘i dont want you buying me-’

‘ssshhhh dont. im doing this because i want to and becaus i care for you, m/n-chan’

overtime, 

yea

sure

youve started to like him

youve started looking forward to seeing his stupidly cute face and his stupidly cute giggle

you went to his games and gave him a tight hug when hes about to play as a ritual for good luck and you would open your arms for him wide whenever he wins

then he didnt

against shiratorizawa, you noticed how he was so disappointed

even as you walked home with him, he continued to smile and tell you how good his team played

until you couldnt take it anymore

you pulled him over to some alleyway and you pushed him to the wall

DSKLFJLSDKFJLSDFJ WOW WHAT

oikawa nervously fiddled with his jacket and gave you a shaky smile

‘m/n-chan, what are you-’

‘tell me what youre feeling right here, right now. no bullshit, no lies, tell me everything in that pretty head of yours’

you deadpanned and tooru looked away

‘im fine’

‘are you lying to me, tooru?’

your voice was even but he could tell you were serious

he gulped before taking in a shakey breath

‘im fine. so stop asking about it!’

he exclaimed and you sighed

‘listen, i know its not official yet but you want me to be your boyfriend right?’

tooru flinched before he flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’ 

then he nodded

‘as your boyfriend, you have to lean on me, tooru. i dont want you to hold it to yourself because i wanna be there for you and i want to go through everything with you because i,,,,,’

you stopped and hesitated, debating if you should say it or not

‘because i like you, idiot’

you confessed and swallowed thickly

oikawa met your eye and his eyes watered

‘im so angry! im so disappointed! but i know my team did their 110 percent! we’re just not strong enough! so its not their fault! but ushijima is such a freak and hes too strong and its not fair!’

he complained and he cried loudly

not once in the 3 years of knowing oikawa have you seen him cry and you were so proud of him for being able to trust you enough to show him being vulnerable

you rushed forward held him close to your chest

‘for what it’s worth, you looked so incredibly hot and cute playing’

you whispered and pecked his neck 

of course oikawa couldnt hold his surprise at the feeling of your lips on his neck so he squealed a little

you gigled and continued holding your boyfriend close, even if it was at some nasty alleyway

yall became official and ngl, they didnt see this coming

some nobody dating the grand king oikawa tooru?

what in the wattpad?

yall know that tiktok of like ‘guys you cant dm me anymore. i have a girlfriend now. what else? and i love her’

IF YALL DONT KNOW IM SORRY

but you totally made oikawa tell his fangirls that

YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING?

when yall became official, you actually gained your own little fanclub

maybe its because you gained clout from your boyfriend but they started noticing you and wowza you were hot

before, it was you getting jealous over tooru but now, it was him getting possessive of you

hes such a brat that he sits on your lap before class and youre just all smirking and feeling all good bc your baby is so cute when hes jealous

YOU CANT DISAGREE THAT HE DOESNT RADIATE UKE ENERGY

but all oiks has to do is pull down your collar and expose your purple littered collarbones and they will know who you belong to

theres a reason why iwa-chan is now the kids babysitter

youre still kinda cold and distant to people but youre soft for your baby and you always hold him close when hes in sight and you just cant get enough of him

:’)

also!! 

your sister loves dressing you up and oikawa has his sisters makeup and they both do your makeup and you guys have tea party with the boys and just the cutest domestic stuff

you still call him idiot though

but like affectionately yanno?

and over the years youve turned it down to dummy

and ngl tooru loves it when you call him that

what in the dumbification-

because he knows that equivalent to babe from you and he absolutely just loves you lmao

youre def the more quieter and calmer one in the relationship like you absolutely dont react much

while tooru is the overreactor and hes very animated with his facial expressions and stuff

like the one time

he was cooking some chicken pasta and you cheekily grabbed a piece of chicken and he made a dramatic gasp

‘*le gasp* oikawa m/n how dare steal a piece of chicken!’

you cackled before crossing your arms at the sight ofyour lover with his pursed lips and hands on his hips

‘excuse you. its more of you who’d take my last name’

it was so easy to make him flustered and tooru quickly turned around to tend back to the food but he was really just hiding his red face

‘b-baka. thats not going to happen’

‘not if i do it first’

you shrugged and smirked, wondering if he will fall for it

and as expected with oikawa tooru

‘yea okay sure’

‘i will!’

‘prove me wrong, m/n-chan~’

‘turn around right now’

oikawa rolled his eyes playfully before turning with a smile

‘what are you-*le gasp part 2*’

his hands covered his mouth at the sight of you there in front of him, kneeling on your knee tightly clutching a silver ring between your thumb and index finger

your heart was thrumming in your chest but you gulped and smiled

‘i win. now marry me, dummy’

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry if this sucked booty :((( but i just really like the thought of uke oikawa and just him with a cute boyfriend for a change like please we all know oikawa is a bi king and thats on docosahexaenoic acid

[tendoki]

hug prompt 5 with tendouuuu

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angy tendou kinda makes me 😳 ngl. this has a lot of build up? I left the ending VAGUE because it just seemed right yanno? this was fun and cute to write though :)

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Tendou . S - Snapmaps

-> genre: comfort

-> prompt: angry hug (not at eachother)

-> warnings: swearing, reader is lowkey horny for tendou, again I wrote this at 5am and projected my thirst onto y/n so my bad lollll, bad grammar maybe?? dunno

not sponsored by snapchat <3

He was pissed off.

Like, super pissed off. You could see it in the way his shoulders were tensed and how his leg bounced under the desk, the furrow of his brows and dark lines under his eyes screamed 'i am three minutes away from committing a murder'. His breathing seemed to be heavier too; and you guessed you wouldnt get much of a chance to talk to him once class was over if the way his eyes seemed to flicker to the clock every few seconds was any indication.

You werent anyone particularly close to Tendou Satori, though you'd consider the two of you friends if asked. In truth, you never thought you would get this far with him, the guy seemed to disregard anything that his teammates werent already fond of; you were lucky, in a sense, that as Goshiki's tutor you were deemed worthy of his attention.

Of course, occasionally your mind would slip, sliding down a dangerous path of 'what if?'s and 'why not?'s. Tendou was attractive, in that weird way, where your friends sorta make fun of you for liking him, before they turn and take a second look themselves. He intrigued you, the way he was so observant as to even bag a friendship with the ever elusive Ushijima kun.

You supposed that's why you bothered to chase him after class ended.

You had lost him pretty quickly though, thinking about it, you seriously wondered how in the hell you could lose a six foot, two inch, scarlet haired loudmouth like Tendou, as if slipping into a crowd and being invisible was something he was used to (something else to add onto the 'Mysteries of T.S' list you had compiled).

After escaping the crowd and seeing no sign of him outside, you relented, recognising that this was a losing battle. With a huff, you pulled out your phone to check his snap maps; he'd always turn them on once he got into school, claiming that it was to make sure if he skipped practice then Semi could track him down and beat his ass with no hassle.

Ramen shop

For the better, you were starving anyway. immediately picking up the pace, you took the 10 minute walk it would take to get there.

how did he manage to go so fast? damn him and his stupid long legs

You arrived, and the place looked empty, probably because of the sign on the door, stating that it was closed for the day. Looking down at your phone again, you confirmed that this was the right address, seeing your own bitmoji stood near Tendou's.

Then the door opened, Tendou, in all of his sweaty, (guess he mustve ran) brilliance, looked you up and down, an action you're ashamed to admit caused a jolt in your stomach. He looked suprised to see you here, but seeing your phone lit up with the familiar interface of Snapchat maps, he smirked.

"What brings you here?"

He sounded amused, though you could still hear his aggravation in how throaty his voice was, you werent used to hearing him speak so roughly, and part of you wondered what it would take to hear that kind of tone from him more.

"You uh seemed pissed off earlier, in class? and I wanted to check up on you. Why... are you in an empty, closed ramen shop?"

"Family owned joint, 's empty 'cause we're closed, and its closed 'cause it's empty"

"Doesn't closing it because its empty make for bad business practice? you're not even giving people a chance to enter, Tendou"

He jolted at this, you were usually so formal and appropriate with him, that hearing you challenge his logic so openly and speak without honorifics was unexpected; his shoulders sagged a little, tension easing from his body as a bemused smile made it's way across his face.

"Huh, guess you're right. Well, since ya here how 'bout coming in and taste testing some of our food before we open to the public again, for safety", the last line was spoken differently, as if he was daring you to say yes, like agreeing on a totally-not-date with Tendou Satori would be the worst mistake of your life.

So, naturally, you bit right back.

"You askin' me on a date now, Satori?", using him first name was dangerous, but you figured he'd get the message that you were trying to be playful, while giving him the ultimate choice of what would happen next.

Once again he was taken aback, before another sag of his shoulders and spread of a smile took over his body; he wasted no time in gently grabbing you by the elbow and ushering you inside.

The interior was gorgeously decorated, the tables scrubbed clean and the whole place smelt like heaven, Tendou sat you down on the nearest chair and rushed off to the back, promising to make you a ramen anyone would consider to be 'better than sex'

It was an hour later you still sat in the shop, laughing with Tendou about whatever tiktok trend he had roped his team into this week, you had texted your parents to let them know you were with a friend, not keen on making them worry and get the entirety of the Miyagi police force interrupting your totally-is-a-date.

Things were quiet for a moment, as you sat and drank some pop Tendou had offered you. You took the silence as an opportunity to appreciate the view; Tendou Satori, in the golden light of a 6pm sun, with his hair down in sweatpants and a graphic tee designed off of one of his favourite anime. You had been nervous when he excused himself to change and 'let his hair relax', but now thanked every and any god in existence for giving you the chance to see him looking so dearly delectable.

Your thought process was disrupted, however, when your eye candy spoke;

"Thanks. For coming, I mean. I've had a pretty shitty day and it means a lot to be sat here joking around with you"

He smiled at you, an intimate one, not mocking or sardonic in anyway, you, of course, locked this moment into your mind, committing the gentle red of his bitten and chapped lips, sloping so carefully, to memory.

Then you registered his words, your brows pinching together in concern, as you reached across and grabbed his hand.

"You wanna talk about it? I'm here to listen and I dont have anywhere to be for the time being"

He looked shocked for a moment, scanning your face to maybe check if this was some cruel joke, like he was going to start telling you and you'd laugh and walk away. After a few moments had passed of him studying your expression, he turned, heaving a sigh and standing up to go to the back, presumably preparing another two bowls of ramen.

He returned not long after, placing the bowls on your table, he began pacing, annoyance rushing back to him as he recalled what had him wound up so tightly earlier.

"... and now he's back in town! God, whatever, I just hope his stupid ass doesnt end up in the same classes as me, I dont wanna see that prick's face again", he had been bullied as a child it seemed, a detail that explained most of the contents in your list of Tendou mysteries, the bully was back in town, and your companion had ran into him when he had left school grounds for a moment; it seemed the boy's attitude had not changed, he had recognised Tendou and began layering on the taunts once more.

He was mad again, you could see it in how his shoulders tensed and his mouth now curled into an ugly sneer while venting.

You sighed before standing up, he needed some comfort, and the worst that could happen is that he pushes you away. You could always just excuse it by saying you have an affectionate family or friend group, and that it's just nature by now to give someone a hug when they're upset. Though there was every reason to think that he wouldnt fall for that, and you could make him uncomfortable. After such a huge leap in your progress with him, taking such a big risk is hardly smart or sensible-

fuck it.

But before you could move, his arms instead encased you. His body shook with brimming rage as he burrowed his head into the crook of your neck, bending awkwardly to properly reach. Hesitantly, you reached your arms up, one hand going to rub circles across his back and the other pulling and playing with the red locks of hair by the nape of his neck. The two of you stayed like that for a while, you leaning on the table once your legs got too wobbly to be trusted. Every so often you'd press a kiss to his shoulder, letting him know that you were accepting his affection wholeheartedly, not just reciprocating out of pity.

Despite the hug lasting longer than any other hugs you had given to friends and family, it still felt like it was too soon as Tendou began to pull away, standing back to his full height, though, his arms remained around you.

"Thanks, I needed that"

"yeah, uh, no problem, Tendou kun"

[flightofaqrow]

🌟 gently puts this here

Send 🌟 for lines of your writing that I enjoy a lot! ** accepting

“Ok, right now I’m going to need you to suspend your disbelief a bit. /the disbelief is at a 9, I need it to be at ‘Ruby is having a tea party and we need to pretend’. Trust me, it gets a hell of a lot more enjoyable when you’re anthropomorphizing the marbles.”

EAT. BUG.

“I’ll give us credit, at least we’re entertaining human dumpster fires.” [ “keeping the poorest sods of the world warm on a cold night, yeah sounds about right.” ] “If we cant keep our lives from sucking ass, the least we can do is be sure that other people have at least one happy night and good memories, after all.” [ “i kinda get concerned when we finally start agreein’ on things.” ] “Something does feel a little off about it, doesnt it?” [ “you know what this means?” ] “If this were a couple months ago, I’d say we need to have a drink to celebrate some sort of milestone.” [ “no! quit that! you’re supposed to say it’s time to go find someone in need of a dumpster fire.“ ] “Oh. … I suppose you make an excellent point. But now without the alcohol, all the anxiety is back. I dunno if I can summon the same level of dumpster I had drunk.”

Again, dark thoughts seemed to press in with the shadows from sunset. He shivered, wondering why it still seemed so cold despite his aura being active. “I dont like this place. Something is super fucking wrong, even without the fact there’s no real reason these people should have died.”

“Dont lie to yourself,” Qrow scoffed. “You’re no less a coward than she is. You’re just more skilled at hiding the truth.” And not even that good at hiding it, if he were honest with himself. Qrow was adept at drinking to forget his cowardice. That was his entire reason for holding the flask in his hand, wasnt it? The self loathing and bile almost was rising too fast for the burn of bourbon to push it back down.

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[ I do want to go into some other threads here bc you and I mostly shitpost XD This has proven to be obnoxious because even when I know exactly what I like about people’s stuff FINDING has been a different story shdjkd plz ilu I hope I can illustrate it enough. Stuff from angst threads with Reju bc they’re so good, aaaaand whatever I have enjoyed from the most recent couple pages of ur blog. ]

Qrow balled up a fist and punched the mattress underneath them in frustration. Oddly enough, the soft, forgiving surface didnt really provide him with any satisfaction. It wasnt fair. Someone like Tai didnt deserve to bear all that grief and pain, and what business did Qrow have sharing his own? And yet, here he was, nearly two decades after the fact, flailing around like a toddler having a tantrum, complete with waterworks and snot.

There was no way in hell that Qrow ever wanted to discuss this sort of thing with Tai. He barely wanted to talk about his negative feelings with himself. The last thing anyone wanted was to hear Qrow unload fifteen years of baggage, and the last thing he wanted to do was bare his soul only to have someone brush off that pain with a bullshit you cant blame yourself for that. Like he enjoyed feeling like this or something.

Qrow nodded, and pulled out the old picture he kept in his wallet of Team STRQ, fresh out of Beacon and ready to take on the world. Coolest team in a generation. What a flop they turned out to be.

“Sometimes when you start thinking hard, I can hear the gears of your mind spinning so hard they make a buzzing noise.

“I swore I would kill you one day. Why complicate that with things like deep emotional talks and getting to know you? Its going to change nothing in the end when Harbinger gets buried deep in your guts.”

He tried to sound nonchalant, even scratching the back of his head. The glass that tinkled out of his hair and down his collar was just Misfortune trying to spite him, if you asked Qrow’s opinion.

Story telling had been a great part of his childhood. Though it didnt seem like a group of bandits would be the type, evenings were spent as a community around the fire, where music would ring out or old stories would be dusted off and shared. There was very little in the way of entertainment out in the wilderness, and that community time was vital in order to strengthen the bonds that held them together. [^ This one might be less writing and more SCREAMING IN SOLIDARITY over hcs but yanno. It’s still put succinctly *chef kiss*]

“If you think for a second that your personal life doesnt affect your professional life, than I know a farm in Anima we should go to. Perhaps a few hours with some Apathy Grimm will help you see that. It sure as fuck helped me.” His hands trembled, just a little, at the memory. Qrow had thought that he’d built some sort of wall, that as long as his drinking didnt get in the way of doing his job he was ok. One Grimm species that could get inside his head was all it took to prove how stupid that thinking was.

[seconding the amazing curse of The Brother’s Divine Buttholes ]

When he spoke, his voice had a certain amount of resonance and gravity to it, as Qrow was a firm believer that if you told a story, you were going to tell it right.

[ryncorrect]

university!au: day6 sungjin

i’ve abandoned this au for so long istg my life is a mess yall please forgive but anyway im back with my bullshit and ready to spread my cringe-worthy stuff to the world again

name: park sungjin

major: practical music and arts

other activities: leader, guitarist, and vocalist of university band, president of music club, member of cooking club

park sungjin is the embodiment of leadership

i mean he’s the band leader, the club president, also the president of his class since year one, like he’s so trustworthy and responsible, literally nothing can go wrong under his sight

and even when things do go wrong (life is a bitch) he’ll still make sure everyone is fine and having the time of their lives pun intended

anyone who meets sungjin for the first time will probs say he has this tough man aura, cold,,, tsundere-ish idk

but as someone who have known each other for so long, you never understand when anyone says sungjin looks cold

you know damn well the moment sungjin opens his mouth he gonna throw dad jokes with his satoori dialect

dad jokes are fucking funny fight me

you once said sungjin should start his own comedy club

......he’s currently considering it

oh right he also talks about food all. the. time.

he joined cooking club for a reason okay

no, he can’t and doesn’t really cook he’s only there to taste food and people let him there because he’s nice and he knows how to appreciate the cooks

uh we love a man with manners

so, who is sungjin for you exactly?

he lives next door, one year older than you, was a leader even when you were little ayeee childhood friend cliche

can you imagine little sungjin leading his friends in game its so pure brb crying

you told him everything you couldn’t tell ur parents because they were busy, you asked for his advises, he made sure you were safe and happy

you still depend on him even after you two have grown up

you enrolled to the same university, took the same major with him, and even joined the clubs he’s a member of

this isn’t because you’re indecisive, it’s just that you spent so much of your childhood with sungjin that you two became similar to each other, up to your hobbies and interests and even palate lmao

that’s why he loves to eat with you because you two never argue about the menu

the only club you can’t join is the band, and that’s because jae rejected your application

reason: extremely close personal relationship with sungjin, therefore sungjin will take your side if we ever had an argument

you denied that; no, sungjin wont take anyone’s side based on feelings bc he’s a logical person and he always listens carefully to every side of the parties before he makes a decision..... but jae wont listen

brat

"you only rejected me because im a better guitarist”

“lalalalala cant hear you over my authority as the important band member”

“fuck you”

“i don’t accept offers”

anywayssss you did fail to join the band, but you’re friends with them, theyre literally so used to your company that sometimes they forgot youre not actually in the band

you and the guys teamed up for sungjin’s surprise birthday party

the surprise failed because dowoon accidentally added sungjin to the group chat

sungjin being nice and playing along anyway because he didnt want to disappoint you

and then its sungjin’s turn to ask the guys for help for your birthday party

failed again because dowoon AGAIN accidentally invited you, in person, to your own birthday party

dowoon what the heck?????

yeah its all cute and sweet but thats all of your relationship with sungjin, you treat him like a dependable brother and he treats you like his own little sister

thats what you tell to your friends too when they ask if you two are dating

they’re glad thats the case

because they have a crush on sungjin LMAOOOOO PLOT TWIST

they’re hoping they can get to sungjin through you yanno like asking you to send him snacks and letters or to tell him they say hi

you dont mind i mean you know sungjin is one admirable person ofc everyone likes him

sungjin never rejects nor accepts it hes just like “yay snacks!”

“god damn it sungjin just date any of them im tired of being a matchmaker”

“then dont?? literally no one asked you to”

little did you know that sungjin had the same problem

some of his classmates are interested in you but whenever they come to him he just says, “dont ask me i dont know anything and if i do i wont tell you”

this one sandeul guy has started asking you out and stuff

“ehhh youre so nice i’ll think about it!!”

you, immediately texting sungjin: ur friend sandeul ask me out what should i do

sungjin: do you like him tho

you: not really idk him yet

sungjin: just tell him your mom said no

you: damn nice

but this guy is so persistent and you gotta admit hes kinda cute and after a few tries you finally said yes to him

so you two went together and it was pretty fun

sungjin isnt too happy when he hears about it from sandeul

he asked you, “why didnt you tell me first?”

“well i dont think its a big deal. it was just a date anyway”

but you always told him everything

sungjin never speaks about it again

you go on another date with sandeul the week after

you tell sungjin later and he doesnt ask how it went

hes just “oh”

idk he’s kinda distant now, he rarely talks nor replies to your texts

he doesn't visit music club nor cooking club either so you don't see him often

have i told you im uncreative and all my aus are lame???

you think its probably because hes focusing for the finals, but even after it’s over sungjin doesnt really hang out with you or the band anymore like he only comes for practices and leaves right after

weirdly no one says anything about sungjin’s absence

but you cant stay quiet any longer and decide to ask dowoon whats wrong with sungjin

you shouldve known dowoon cant help much

“honestly i dont know either, maybe you should ask wonpil he’s sungjin’s roommate”

“but what if wonpil told sungjin”

“told sungjin what?”

“that i asked about him”

“asked him what?”

“...nevermind”

you asked younghyun

younghyun doesnt help either

“i dont know, just ask him yourself. i thought you were the closest to him??” why you so salty man

okay fine lets ask jae

“i’ll tell you for fifty bucks”

“dude im broke”

“then deal with it yourself”

you had no choice but to ask wonpil

“he’s just tired”

you know wonpil lied but this little shit refuses to tell anything

“please dont force me to answer i will cry really loudly and it’ll be embarrassing for the both of us”

why do you befriend them in the first place smh

oh youre right about wonpil telling sungjin that youre worried, and he does tell him to talk to you if he got something in mind

sungjins hesitant but in the end he only says, “no... its just that i didnt realize until recently that my little sister has grown up a lot”

“dear god wtf you sound like her grandma”

skip the boring part so uh a few more days passed awkwardly between you two and after your failed attempt at asking around you decide to confront sungjin in person

youre in the band practice room, the others are present, sungjin’s about to leave early as usual, and you find yourself jumping up your seat, “whats your problem with me?”

you know sungjin hates confrontation but you cant stand it anymore. you tried giving him time but if theres anything you seem to be more of a stranger to him

“i dont know what i did wrong and i wont know if you dont tell me, so let me know. i’ll listen and i’ll apologize if its my fault, but dont give me silent treatment like this. its so unlikely of you"

you can see sungjin clences his jaw as he replies calmly, "people change"

"you don't change, youre being childish. if you're mad you should talk about it. if you don't want me here you should tell me to go. if you don't like ME dating your friend you should tell me not to!!!"

drama much ryn

"youre your own person and you make your own choice, its your life and i cant keep telling you what to do or what not," and the end part kinda slips, "i don't hate you dating my friend or anyone, okay? im just not used yet to be a second person for you and im afraid youll get hurt"

"youre never?? a second person sungjin where does this idea even come from youre the only one for me i dont want anyone else???"

and suddenly there's a train of awkward coughs and you come back to your senses and you realize you're being watched

jae pretends to make a phone call, "mom pick me up im scared"

lame jae lame

dowoon mumbles, "can we,,, make an exit first before you two declare your undying love bc its privacy yanno"

you feel the heat spreading across your face as you open your mouth the same time as sungjin, both want to deny dowoon, but younghyun beats yall to it, "yeah you two are in love with each other we been know"

you and sungjin stares at each other, confused, "we don't???"

"oh honey,,, my dear,,, ive read enough sappy shit in writing club to see where this is going"

the conversation was cut there and neither of you bring it up again,

because the idea of you loving sungjin or sungjin loving you is so weird that you refuse to think about it, and so is for sungjin

but ever since that, sungjin has drastically come back to normal its almost hilarious, he spends a lot of time hanging out in the music club, practicing with the band, visiting the cooking club, making a joke here and there

sungjin is himself again with you, a caring dependable brother whom you come to whenever you need to talk or just hang out with and he always makes sure he has time for you

sap

you know hes always been like that but why does it feel different now??? the way he smiles or pulls your hand so youre walking on the inner side of the road,,, how he neatly places your spoon and chopsticks on a napkin when you two go out to eat together,,,, why

tender love baby chICKEN TENDER

mydayexol follow me

andddd so one day, someone asked you out. again.

wow ur so popular i cant Relate

you, texting sungjin: sandeuls friend jinyoung something invited me to a party next saturday should i come

sungjin, replying to you: hmm

you: ???

sungjin: i think its up to you

for some reason youre disappointed by his reply,,, but he’s right tho its your call if you wanna go then you go its not about what sungjin says

right?

right???

but suddenly you got another text: but if you ask for my opinion i would say don't go

you: actually i dont want to either lol so what should i say

sungjin: tell him you already have a date

you: nice

sungjin: with me

you: ayyeee

you: wait what

sungjin: i mean its just a suggestion

sungjin: which you can accept

sungin: or reject

for some reason you can imagine sungjin’s cheeky smile through his texts and it makes your inside tingles and you wanna giggle

so yea you thought it was a joke but he actually did take you out for a movie and dinner

it was really nice

so yanno the weird thing is that neither of you ask the other to be “official” but you just. are dating.

ur friends are mad like “bUT YOU SAID YOU TWO WERENT A THING”

“lol sry i changed my mind”

“fuck you”

“no thanks sungjin can do that... bUT DONT TELL SUNGJIN I SAID THAT hes gonna kill me”

“is he ur mom”

“basically yeah”

this sucks real bad but who cares

not me obviously

ill be back soon (or not) with dowoon’s one lets hope i can do better than this dnsjfsndfj lnjajnfdjs lmAO I LOVE YALL AND HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE

[mairzymarzipan]

Night of the Full Moon Character Reviews: The Big Bosses(Minus Werewolf)

Hello again

I know I said I’d be talking about the Hunter, Old Mage, Fallen Priest and so on today, but I realized that those characters were actually more interesting in the context of other characters, so I put them off for later.  I decided instead to talk about the main bosses of the game, as it so happens, are the closest people to Red Riding Hood.  Because this game wants to be an ironicy soap opera/anime that way.

When I say Big Bosses, I mean that you always fight one of these characters at the end of the game.  Unless you’re like me and you start all over at the end because you’re bored and tired of all four of them playwise.

Werewolf

Wait, no, never mind.  This is another one of those characters who’s more interesting in the context of different, non-Red Riding Hood Characters.  We’re saving this boi for later.  But, you shouldn’t too surprised, if you read the title.  Instead, I’ll just use this space to talk about a mechanic.

Throughout the game, you can get ‘courage’ and ‘reputation’ points by talking to characters.  Very very generally speaking, you get courage points by doing brave things, and you get reputation points for doing nice things.  You also can get courage points when a character talks shit about the werewolf, and reputation points when a character talks shit about the witch.  So naturally, if you have more courage in the end, you get to fight the wolf, and if you have more reputation, you get to fight the witch.  I guess what they’re going for is only a meanie would fight this doggo?  And the witch is who any empathetic person would hate???

I feel like the latter is not the case, but more on that later.

Witch

“Only your Hope family can lift the dark magic curse.  This is what the priest is most afraid of.  That’s why monsters run wild on full moon nights. First they made your grandmother disappear and then they drew you into the forest...but they never anticipated that you would make it this far.”

By the way, you’re part of a prophecy.  Only someone in your family can lift the curse on the forest.  jsyk

Yeah so, as you see, the Witch’s description does not really tell us much about the witch herself.  This description also pretty unique in that none of the other character descriptions go into the second person like this.  The description also kind of hints that Red dies in the timeline where she fights the witch, so that’s depressing.

Nah, to figure out what the witch is about, you have to delve into the fragments around her. 

So, you actually do encounter the witch earlier in the game.  In the third or sometimes second chapter, she will recruit to find some magic apples she lost.  She makes a mention about suspecting a queen of stealing them.  The apples, I guess, are just lying around on the forest floor, and you bite into each of them bc you’re a dumb lkid.  Each apple changes your stats by a few points and the witch does not at all seem upset that you hand her a bunch of bitten fruit at the end.  In fact, she offers you the choice of two random buffs, so that’s fun.

You’re likely to hear about her way before that, though, depending on who you talk to.  Generally anyone who’s been cursed feels like it’s the witch’s fault.  

But if you choose to fight her(or you might not get a choice in the matter) she accuses you of stealing said apples.  She’ll also talk to you throughout the battle until you defeat her- a trait that only the big bosses and a few of the newer ones have.  Her lines...make her sound pretty unhinged.  She’s speaks of disbelief that you would do such a horrible thing, and threatens you with with her magic, and talks about how misunderstood she is.

When you defeat her, she’s got a really interesting line, tho.

“No!  I don’t want to fight you!  I can’t!”

Huh.

Before I move on, let me talk about this other witch character.

Yep.  That sure is the art style this game is going with.

So this is one of the shopkeepers.  There are four different shops you can find along the way, only two of which have characters you can see in them.  This character is known as the Witch Apothecary...but you can only see that on the outside of her store.  Otherwise she’s just called “Witch”.

The thing is, along the way, characters will talk about the Witch and, they don’t specify that it’s not the one with the white hair.  They just talk about The Witch like she’s the only witch that matters.  So is this woman not really a witch?  A witch wannabe?  Nah, we already have one of those characters.  Could it me that the shopkeepers don’t actually exist in the story of the game?  That would bum me out, bc there’s this lesbian owl I want to be real.

But...I think they’re the same person using shapeshifting.  Or if you want a really wild theory, maybe there are time travel hijinks and she’s the Magic Apprentice grown up.  But I’m going to go ahead with the former.

Anyhoo.  I like the witch.  I’m gonna give her 🍎🍎🍎🍎 four apples

Priest

“They mistakenly thought that on the full moon night they could help the monsters quietly eliminate Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother.  Once the Hope family was wiped out, the legend of lifting the curse on the Dark Forest would disappear completely.  However, they didn’t expect they would have to go personally and pay such a high price to fight their enemy. When the priest fell, the cursed monsters reverted to their human forms and the Dark Forest was no longer covered by snow all year round, but the church’s blind greed still remains.”

Again, not much is said about the priest himself.  The most interesting thing here is that he apparently is the keystone holding the curse together.  Interesting, because he seems to be letting the witch do all the work for him.  Usually in these stories, you have to kill the person who casts the spell to break the spell, not just their friend.  Is it because he, himself, is a stone?  That is to say, he turns into a statue sometimes.

Why the heck is he having her turn all his enemies into cartoon monsters instead of killing them, anyway?  Don’t tell it’s to make the game family friendly, bc in one of these timelines a child kills another child.  

Honestly, the priest/church just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.  His big plan is selling everybody from his town as slaves.  Gross.  And the way he accomplishes this is by...making it snow all the time, and turning people into vampires and fire bears?  What?

He is.  A delight to fight.  I’m being sarcastic.  He’s a religious edgelord who likes to go on about how humans are sinners and everyone deserves to be punished.  Also she cheats by turning into stone.  Eh.  

It feels like someone just spun a wheel for of evil traits and just stuck them together haphazardly.  His evil plan is...human trafficking!  His personality is...self righteous!  His means is...tf!  His super power is...turning into a statue!  

He’s the biggest of bads but also not that thought out.  He’s super important to the over-arching plot and yet I have no idea why this guy does what he does.  I’m gonna give him 🗽🗽 two statues.

Mystery Men

idek why this person is called “Mystery Men”.  I’m guessing it’s supposed to be mystery man?  Or mysterious person or something?  I know I haven’t talked about the art much but, I do appreciate how much their face looks like a dog snout and her hood looks like dog ears.  It’s a neat touch.

This description was actually changed.  The new text is longer and more awkwardly worded.  I don’t like it!  And I don’t get why it happened.

But, yeah.  The very last enemy of the game- who you can only reach by playing through at least four times and defeating all three others- is your Grandmother!  Le gasp!

So what exactly went wrong with her?  Oh, nothing, she just has a big wolf growing out of her back(told you the concept was backed up by canon)

Is this her daemon or patronus or something?  I have no idea.  I’ve been calling her a werewolf sometimes, tho, bc she’s better at being a werewolf than the titular werewolf.  Which is to say she can revive instead of just healing.  Her buffs and deck change throughout the fight.  She’s a long battle, fun, except for her ear piercing voice.  She sounds a bit possessed.

I’ll give her 👁️👁️👁️ three big eyes.  She’s a fun battle, but I always mute it.  Also not real big on how the text got changed for the worse.  But she does add some good details to the story.

In Conclusion... 

Grandma’s text tells us a few things.  

1. Not only is the Hope family connected to this prophecy, but family members actually have the power to control the curse.  That leads me to believe that the person who got the curse started was a Hope themself.  

2. The church came along long after the curse was in full swing.  So the priest is not responsible for it.  Whether he’s a Hope himself is not relevant.

We also know these things:

1. The witch is still the one casting all the tf spells, which is part of the curse.

2. There are two timelines were Red has a natural gift for magic

3. In the Little Witch timeline, the Witch is teaching Red magic.  On top of that she’s v patient, which is surprising, for some reason.

4. The Witch seems a little out of touch with reality.  She sends you to find apples, and then yells at you for stealing them.  Almost like she thinks you’re another person.

5. The witch verbally expresses her desire not to fight you when she realizes who you are.

I have to conclude that the Witch is a Hope.  A Hope who’s close enough to have a fondness for Little Red Riding Hood, and is invested in her well being/education.  And yanno, is turns her enemies into pig people because she can.  

She helps you on your quest by giving you one of her own.  But earlier on, she takes on the form of the other witch offer you potions and the like.  She even gives you the first one in each chapter for free.

“My potions can change your appearance!”

Of course she can’t get too close to you.  She can’t reveal that she’s helping you.  Hence putting on a new face when she’s a ‘good’ witch.  One wonders if she’s trying to hide her identity from you, or the people she’s allied with.

Hey can we look at her description again?

Red doesn’t get addressed in the second person in any of the other descriptions.  There is a character who talks about his life in the first person, and we’ll get to him.  But this is odd to me.

What if Red isn’t being addressed here?  What if it’s someone else?  What if it’s the Witch?

What if the Witch was captured and ensnared in the priest’s plot?  What if he messed with her memory?  So then who is she?  Red’s sister?  It seems like she’s been working with the church a lot longer than Grandma’s been missing.  Also Grandma went into the woods on her own accord.  You could say that the grief the church caused her *made* her go out, but it seems weak.

So maybe a Hope in another generation, who lost her grandmother to- either the church or monsters?  Was it this other Grandmother who *started* the curse?

Dude, what if she’s your Mom?

What if instead of killing her the priest did...something...scared her enough to get her to work for him.  And messed with her memory so she couldn’t conceive a way out?  And sort of had her transfer the power of the curse to him so that people had to kill him to break it?

What if he had the Church Doctor scoop her brain out and put it in another lady’s head?  Who knows.

I’m not certain about the witch being your mom.  I think I would like that to be the case because it’s fun, but I’m not quite convinced yet.  I AM certain, tho, that the Witch is a Hope, and she cares about you.  She’s not just this cackling meanie turning people into flowers.  She’s...complicated.  And she needs help just as much as all the trapped monsters.

[beatconductor-blog]

Today at 12:35 AM

beatconductor hey uh can i ask you a question

deadramchild yes y0u can

beatconductor oh hey hope im not distracting you from anything or whatever anyway does your dad hate me

deadramchild y0u are n0t

beatconductor or is he always like that or i just dont know how to deal with him like

deadramchild i d0nt think he d0es n0

beatconductor mr deuce and boxcars are pretty chill to be around i mean i have no doubt that they could wreck shit but theyre just yanno kinda buddy like

deadramchild well they are certainly easier t0 get al0ng with yes why exactly d0 y0u think he hates y0u?

beatconductor and then theres mr stabby stab slick whos a little inpredictable like he seems like the kinda guy that might stab you for saying the wrong word or just shrug it off depending on the mood but idk your dad is kind of something else no offense he just gives me the chills

deadramchild haha he d0es have that effect 0n pe0ple y0u are right ab0ut slick t00

beatconductor so is that not just me

deadramchild n0

beatconductor i mean its rare that my fear is stronger than my stupidity but just fuck dont tell him i told you that alright

deadramchild but im curi0us did he d0 s0methig that made y0u think he hates y0u?

beatconductor uh doesnt matter its more all the stuff he doesnt say

deadramchild yes it d0es l00k... he is n0t g0ing t0 actually hurt y0u he d0esnt hate y0u and he has n0 reas0n t0

beatconductor if you say so

deadramchild he kn0ws that y0u are 0n friendly terms with with deuce and b0xcars and friends with me and the 0thers he w0uldnt hurt y0u with0ut a damn g00d reas0n n0t physically that is but i cant deny that he is a danger0us man 0bvi0usly he is

beatconductor not physically

deadramchild he likes t0 play games

beatconductor you might think thats kind of reassuring but thats like the opposite of that id deal with a direct open threat on my life better than this

deadramchild 0h i kn0w that

beatconductor like shit man the about of times karkat told me hed stab me and i know he would

deadramchild but i want t0 be h0nest with y0u

beatconductor and were still bros ah damn it

deadramchild well let me try t0 explain a little better he enj0ys hmm... teasing pe0ple? he likes t0 get a reacti0n 0ut 0f y0u and at the same time he is testing y0u hes perfectly aware that y0u have relati0ns t0 the felt t00

beatconductor aw man of course he does i mean

deadramchild and while he d0esnt 0utright distrust y0u just f0r that (i mean his b0yfriends br0ther is a number) it still takes m0re t0 gain his n0t quite trust

beatconductor well im not expecting him to ever trust me just

deadramchild he d0esnt fully trust a l0t 0f pe0ple th0ugh

beatconductor yeah thats what i need in my life even more mind games

deadramchild im s0rry 0n0

beatconductor eh whatever

deadramchild i really am

beatconductor its not your fault dont apologize

deadramchild i d0nt want t0 sugarc0at things th0ugh

beatconductor so what should i just give him the reaction he wants or play it all stoic and aloof

deadramchild im n0t sure what reacti0n he wants?

beatconductor alright i can work with that

deadramchild i think any reacti0n that isnt betraying us in any way is a right 0ne is this ab0ut uhm what happened the 0ther night? what he said ab0ut y0ur little kitty friend?

beatconductor urgh yeah thats definitely the most recent and glaring one

deadramchild well that0ne was really just a win/win situati0n f0r him... he likes teasing her

beatconductor oh great

deadramchild and he kn0ws perfectly well that y0u tw0 are an item s0 it was the perfect 0ppurtunity f0r him t0 test y0ur l0yality

beatconductor i see well at least i didnt completely fuck that one up huh

deadramchild n0 the situati0n is c0mplicated the situati0n with her i mean i guess y0u sh0uld really ask her if y0u want any uhm details 0n what happened im n0t sure if he wants y0u t0 j0in us p0ssibly y0u are useful and we always need m0re pe0ple but regardless i think this is his way 0f tryin t0 sh0w y0u what happens when y0u ch00se the felt 0ver us n0w he may be my father but i cant actually read his mind s0 keep in mind that im 0nly guessing here t00

beatconductor wow ok message received i am now kinda let this get too much to me caught me off guard i guess

deadramchild i d0nt think s0mething like that can n0t get t0 y0u i kind 0f want t0 ap0l0gize f0r n0t being ar0und t0 help y0u but thats s0rt 0f silly isnt it? and we b0th kn0w y0u w0uldnt have accepted any help i c0uld have 0ffered anyways

beatconductor dunno considering who i work with i should know better

deadramchild mind y0u im n0t saying that t0 shame y0u its just a fact

beatconductor what oh yeah dont worry i mean there were people i just didnt want to hear any of that idk next time maybe

deadramchild i mean i kn0w y0ure a big b0y y0u can have y0ur mental breakd0wns all 0n y0ur 0wn i still wish i c0uld have helped but y0ure 0kay s0 thats all that matters i guess

beatconductor hah yeah thanks how do i politely tell everyone else that ive been doing this long enough to know me

deadramchild i d0nt kn0w "hell0 ive been a huge mess f0r 25 years n0w i kn0w the drill but thanks f0r caring"?

beatconductor damn thats spot on

deadramchild "s0rry i am currently n0t em0ti0nally capable t0 deal with y0u w0rrying 0n t0p 0f this leave a message after the beep?

beatconductor hah i mean basically thats it alright

deadramchild im sure they will understand 0r at least try t0 they cant help w0rrying th0ugh i w0uld be lying if i said im n0t w0rried but i trust y0u en0ugh that y0u will at least keep y0ur stupid ass alive and c0me t0 me when y0u are ready at least i h0pe s0 i mean y0u s0rt 0f did

beatconductor yeah idk considering im still alive after all maybe im secretly immortal or some shit

deadramchild id rather n0t have y0u test that the0ry y0u d0nt want me t0 yell at y0ur gh0st d0 y0u?

beatconductor im usually trying not to you know dying and being stuck as ghost is kinda the worst i can imagine but the thought of you yelling at my ghost butt kinda sweetens that but you can do that while im still alive so

deadramchild i didnt even yell at y0u s0 far ...n0 wait i did after y0u sh0wed me anime being stuck as a gh0st sure d0es s0und unpleasant i h0pe the actual afterlife is nice th0ugh

beatconductor no afterlife would be nicer i know some poor sap stuck all alone in some kinda eternal limbo i mean shit that sucks doesnt even have any demons and satans to torture him for his sins or something just his nest and my idiot ass dunno if its like that for everyone that ever dies i sure hope not

deadramchild maybe y0u are the dem0n t0rturing him that s0unds really weird are y0u sure y0u didnt just dream that

beatconductor oh yeah thank you well dunno id think so too but that means im kinda hallucinating chatting to him all day too and thats getting kinda awkward

deadramchild very awkward...

beatconductor so yyeah

deadramchild well i guess i cant judge

beatconductor im pretty sure hes real i hope so

deadramchild even if he is imaginary

beatconductor dont make me doubt myself here ok

deadramchild well it t00k a while t0 realize that im actually hearing the dead instead just being well insane

beatconductor well see i got over that phase much quicker

deadramchild thats g00d have fun with y0ur dead friend

beatconductor yeah thanks im trying he seems more pleasant than your average visitor i mean usually its me whos haunting him

deadramchild hes n0t just a v0ice either i assume s0 that already makes him better c0mpany

beatconductor yeah probably

deadramchild s0unds like y0u ike y0ur dead friend thats g00d

beatconductor yeah i mean dreams with him are pretty alright

deadramchild thats g00d perhaps y0u sh0uld sleep s0me m0re then

beatconductor you know im trying man i wish i could bug the hell out of my friends every night

deadramchild haha maybe y0u can dream visit me t00? y0u sh0uld try m0stly because im heading t0 bed n0w try t0 sleep s0me dave g00d night

beatconductor do you really want that believe me you dont want me on your sleep too im enough of a menace when awake but if i ever find out how to you can bet your ass im gonna haunt your dreams

[thelifeandtimesofsuzii]

Word to the wise.

DO NOT ASK YOUR FRIEND TO BE GODMOTHER.

I was warned. I thought I knew better, I thought I had a life long friend. But I was wrong. I missed too many mega red flags. The first one being "when was the last time we spoke before I found out I was pregnant?" The answer? Not often. Only when she needed something. That's fine. We can move on past as I was the one who sent her the positive piss stick. She hit the shingle, she was so excited. Booked flights over to see us asap.

The first year of his life she basically wanted it documented. She flew out a bunch of times. But I did notice the bigger he gets the less she asks about him. On video call and she no longer asks where he is or if she can see him. So now weve hit a full row. To the point I'm actually fucking done.

My son is doing fucking great. Thanks for not asking about him. Your ex mate who also made the same mistake I did was totally nail on the head with you. Onto the next new baby.

Good luck with your unexpected but totally planned fucking pregnancy. It's nothing like a fucking tv show. You ain't a teen so you wont be a teen mom. Stop romantizing something that is entirely life changing. Your acting like a spoilt little bitch.

Your man cant even wipe his own fucking arse. Side note!! I FUCKING HATE YOUR FELLA. Like loathe entirely. Pure cunt. Hence the reason I never ever ever wanted to come stay when you decided to shack up with him permanently and you've not even been together that long BAHAHAHAHAHA DICKHEAD.

Let's move in with my latest tinder find.

Fucking mong love. Your a total div.

But at least I kept my fucking mouth shut eh? At least I tried to be civil to it. You didnt even try. Pure disrespect towards the father of my child. And you've no fuxking clue what it takes to keep a family together but i cant wait for you to crash and fucking burn. Yall cant even cope with fucking cats.

Lol 3 cats in one home. Cats are solitary animals so it's a form of neglect just having them overcrowded like that. No territory hence no natural instincts or stimulation. Whatever tho, I forgot your qualified.

Aye I've tackled worse and I've recovered from bigger losses. There I was worrying and planning your shitty birthday stuff. "Oh I'll just get her a card from the wee man. Maybe a wee palate from that new shop". And yanno it struck me that she never sent me one. X gets his Christmas cards for her. But that's it. It's been radio silent over a year now. So no i wont be buying fuck all for anyone. She never fuxking returns the sentiment. She can bake 2 cakes but cant fold a bit of paper in two and write happy birthday on it for her "best friend." Baring in mind I'm the only best friend who doesnt get 3 highlight reels on her insta. Everyone else has one. And then today she removes our photos. So I've removed her from my fucking life.

I dont need part time mates. I dont want a half assed godmother for my kid. Her other mate is pregnant so that means my kid is ditched like a hot sack of shit. Theres a new "baby bear" on route. And you know what? I ain't even fucking mad. No I hope that when you have your kid - someone does what you did to my boy, to you and your kid. You'll sob wondering what the fuck. Why is my kid being treated like this?! And then you'll remember you fucking deserve it. Your using tendencies will eventually suffocate you.

Peace. I'm fucking out.

Your name will never be mentioned in my home again. Bye bitch.

[dkarchives-blog]

Engagement Party | Royals

Dimitri was relaxed. Actually, he surprised himself with how relaxed he was. But honestly, Dimitri felt good in terms of where he stood with Celeste. Their night away had certainly done them good and honestly, he felt closer to her. It certainly made things easier knowing they wouldn't have to deal with the tension that often consumed them. That didn't mean Dimitri was eager about this party, though. He always hated these functions. He might have been royalty but he always couldn't help but feel out of place. So there he was, sat at a piano he'd found as his fingers seemingly danced over the keys easily. He was well aware of where he was supposed to be, but he never really listened anyways.

The ring felt heavy on her finger, despite the fact that she had picked it herself with Dimitri's help. They had to act in love, look in love, but most of all, follow the rules society had placed on engagements. So there was Celeste, talking to some other friends, doing what she had to do, when her eyes fell on Dimitri across the room, sitting on the piano. She excused herself and smiled a little as she walked over to him. "You're gonna show off your piano skills now?" She asked playfully, leaning against the piano as she did so.

Dimitri looked up from the piano upon hearing Celeste's words, although his fingers didn't stop moving on the keys. Instead, he played softer. A chuckle left his lips at her question, nodding slowly. "What better time than now, darling?" Dimitri asked with as a smirk came across his lips.

Celeste giggled a little, taking a seat next tohim and watching his fingers move around the piano. "You're just trying to hide from fiance duty." She murmured playfully, shaking her head a little and then sighing. "There's musiplaying already though."

Dimitri laughed softly at her words, shaking his head a little. "Me? Hide? You must have me mistaken," he replied playfully. He then stopped playing, turning to look over at her. "You see, I was trying to start a Scott Pilgrim type thing. Battling it out, yanno?"

"Right. My bad, how could I ever do that?" Celeste murmured playfully, arching an eyebrow and then laughing. "What is Scott Pilgrim?" She asked curiously.

Dimitri almost giggled at her words, shaking his head a little at himself. He laced his fingers together as he rested his hands in his lap, looking at her intently. His eyes then widened at her question. "You've never seen Scott Pilgrim vs. The World?!"

Celeste shook her head slowly, not even knowing what he was talking about. "No? First time I have heard of it, actually." She admitted with a small laugh, reaching over to yake his hand as she did so. They weren't really together, but at least they were in this together.

"Oh, Celeste," Dimitri breathed out with a shake of the head, not being able to help but grin over at her. "Where have you been, hm?" He asked playfully before lacing his fingers with hers to give them a gentle squeeze.

"In Brazil and LA." Celeste said with a small laugh, grinning a little and then looking around herself to see everyone around them. "Do you think we're believable? I don't know what to do to make it feel more real, you know?"

Dimitri laughed at her words, shaking his head a little at her as she did so. Dimitri's features then softened at her questions, his dark eyes moving around to look at everyone slowly before his eyes landed on hers. "Uh, I'd like to think so, yeah." He breathed out gently. "I just...I don't wanna make you uncomfortable, yanno?"

"Yeah, me too." Celeste murmured softly, resing her head on his shoulder and looking back down at the piano and then frowning a little. "What do you mean?"

Dimitri rested his head against hers, sighing softly upon hearing her question. He closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head a bit. "Just like, being affectionate and stuff, I guess."

"No, I get that. It's fine. I just...I don't want people to judge us and make us look terrible, you know? We are lying, but no one has to know that." Celeste murmured with a small laugh, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

Dimitri's lifted his head to look down at her intently, his eyes scanning over her face slowly. "I think we'll be fine, Celeste. Really. I mean, my parents don't even seem like they're in love. It's not like the bar is set very high, you know?" He mused gently.

Celeste actually managed a small chuckle at his words, sighing a little. "Right. But do you want to be like every other married couple here? I don't know, maybe all the royals we know have an arranged marriage too. Which is crazy."

Dimitri shook his head a little at the thought of her words, taking a deep breath as he gave her hand a squeeze. "Look," he began softly, his eyes moving to hers, "we'll do us and they'll do them. Okay?"

"Okay." Celeste nodded easily, lifting her head up to look back at him only to be interrupted by a waiter, offering drinks for the toast. "The queen is about to make a toast, you two. She requested you to come with her to the front."

Celeste smiled softly, lacing their fingers together to begin walking to the front of the room. "This is gonna be awesome." She murmured sarcastically, sighing a little.

Dimitri smirked as he heard Celeste's words, moving to slip his arm around her lower back. "It will be awesome. We have each other," he assured her gently as he guided her to the front, his eyes never moving from her.

Celeste smiled widely at his words but didn't say anything else, honestly just wanting to get over this. Tonight had been long so she was glad that this was almost over. Once they were at the front, she stood next to Dimitri, leaning against him a little and wearing her best smile as her mother hit the cup carefully, earning their attention.

Dimitri stood alongside Celeste, keeping his arm wrapped around her as his eyes shifted over to her mother. He put on a smile, hoping it would be convincing enough for everyone in attendance. He gave Celeste's side a gentle squeeze, a reminder that he was right there with her.

"Evening, everyone. This has been a lonely night, and as it comes to a close, I wanted to make a toast for the young couple that we are celebrating tonight. I am beyond happy that Dimitri and Celeste chose each other to spend the rest of their lives with, joining our families and countries forever." The queen said eagerly, smiling widely as she looked around. "So I just want to thank you for being a part of this and that I hope you are as excited as everyone else is about this marriage." She murmured gently, turning to gesture to them so that everyone would clap and cheer for them.

Dimitri's eyes fixated on Celeste's mother as she spoke. He tried to keep the smile on his lips but honestly, it was easier said than done. This whole thing was insane. Absolutely insane no matter how you looked at it. He swallowed hard and exhaled slowly, nodding a little as everyone clapped for them. Dimitri's eyes then fixated on Celeste, arching an eyebrow at her. "Wanna dance?" He asked her gently.

Celeste managed a smile as her mother did her speech, not really knowing whatelse to do and then ultimately sighing softly. Once Dimitri talked to her though and as she saw people begin to leave, Celeste shook her head a little. "Hm? Actually, can we just get out of this room? Walk out in the gardens or something?"

Dimitri arched an eyebrow as soon as he heard her request but nonetheless nodded. "Yeah, yeah. Of course." He replied softly, setting his now empty glass down to lead her outside. Once they were there, he looked at her intently. "You okay?"

Celeste followed him out, shrugging a little at his words. "Yeah. I just didn't want to stay there, you know? Sometimes I remember everything that is happening to us and that there's no way out of it, you know? It's hard." She admitted softly as she led him around the gardens.

Dimitri let go of her now that it was just the two of them, looking at her intently as his hands moved into his pockets. He nodded his head slowly in understanding, trailing slowly behind her. "No, I get it, Celeste. Really." He assured her gently. "You don't have to explain anything to me, you know?"

Celeste sighed loudly, nodding. "And honestly, I'm really sorry that my mother got you into this. She was looking for someone to marry me and somehow she found you. I dont know whats in it for your mom or your country, but from where I stand, this is all her fault. I just...I'm about to get married and my father doesnt even know it. It's all a lie and sometimes it's hard to get past it."

Dimitri was definitely surprised by her words. Sure, they were certainly more open than they'd previously been but this was a whole new level for the both of them. Dimitri shook his head a little at it all, catching up with her and moving to stand in front of her. "Hey, don't be sorry. It's out of your hands. I'm sure your mother isn't the only one at fault. I promise you that much. We don't...This doesn't have to be forever, okay? We can find a way out, Celeste."

Celeste looked up at him as he spoke up, biting down on her bottom lip and swallowing hard. "You think so? Becauae in less than two months...I'll be the Queen of Brazil, Dimitri. I will have to remain here." She explained softly, shrugging a little as she looked up at him. Maybe the fact that she was being so honest was the two glasses of champagne she had had eaelier that night, or maybe she just wanted to talk to someone for real. She didnt know, but she knew he was right person to talk to about this.

Dimitri shook his head a little. He had tinge honest with her. Now more than ever. "Celeste, the future is uncertain. It's uncertain as ever. But once you're queen, who's going to tell you otherwise? You'll be free to make your own decisions," he told her gently, his dark eyes scanning all over her face quickly.

"Literally anyone could tell me otherwise, D." Celeste admitted with a small shrug, sighing softly and then looking around the garden, wanting to just get away for a little while. She had no idea of how she was supposd to deal with all of this. With her new title, with the wedding, with Dimitri. It was just a lot.

Dimitri frowned at her words, taking a few steps away from her until he found himself before a small pond. He shook his head a little at it all, exhaling slowly. "I'm not sure what to say, Celeste," he breathed out honestly. And he didn't. He didn't know how to make her feel better. They were in the same boat.

"You don't have to say anything. Seriously. I just...I wanted to get out. We don't have to talk either. If you want to go back inside, please do it. I just need some fresh air and to calm down." Celeste admitted softly, nodding a little as she looked ahead at nothing in particular.

Dimitri shook his head, dark irises fixated on the water before him. He exhaled slowly, then looking over his shoulder to look over at her with a small smile. "You're not supposed to figure everything out now, Celeste. Just take it day by day. It's what I do. Focus on today and let tomorrow remain a mystery." He murmured, looking ahead again.

Celeste lookd back at him as he spoke up once again, managing a small smile. "Because you are a free soul. Me? Not so much. I never stop thinking." She admitted softly, moving to sit on a swinging chair that was close to the pond and shrugging a little. "Lately, all I do is think."

"No, not because I'm a free soul. Because I live in the moment, Celeste. You gotta stop thinking about everything so much. Before you know it you'll be all old and realize that life just passed you by," Dimitri elaborated gently, moving to sit on the chair next to her and exhaling slowly as he rested his arms on the back of it.

Celeste stayed quiet for a little bit afte rhis words, nodding a little. She knew that he was absolutely right. But lately, there were so many things going on around her that she just didmt know how to handle it. "Yeah, you're right." She said gently, sighing a little. "I really get what you meant that night we went out about us not being the same in the castle now."

Dimitri nodded a little at her response, definitely content to hear that she agreed with him. It was a first, not that it was necessarily a bad thing that they disagreed from time to time. To an extent, Dimitri liked that about her. How she always stood her ground regardless. He arched an eyebrow before they furrowed at her words. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Celeste admitted, shrugging a little. There was so much pressure on them that things just didn't flow as well as they should have. A part of her was so attracted to Dimitri, a huge one, but for some reason, she hadn't been able to be as close to him as they were that night. "I feel like...we hold back a lot."

Dimitri's features softened at her words and he nonetheless nodded. "I do too," he replied gently. How could they not? When it wasn't just them, eyes were on them at all times. They were doing their best to strive for perfection when it came to their parents, how could they possibly act the way they did when they were alone? "We're always being watched when we're in there, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess that is it. We aren't ourselves." Celeste mumbled gently, sighing a little and leaning back against the seat as much as she could. "Dont you wish that things coukd be just like how we met?"

Dimitri nodded gently in agreement. There was no denying that much. At all. He exhaled slowly and let his head fall back, looking up at the sky although he listened intently to her when she spoke up. "Of course I do. I wish for that all the time.

Celeste reached over to run a hand through his hair carefully as she looked over at him. "The one thing that makes me feel better about this is that, at least, you're with me on this."

Dimitri let his eyes fall shut as she ran a hand through his hair, humming softly in content. "I'm always with you, Celeste." He reminded her gently.

Celeste's eyes softened as she heard his words, moving closer to him. "You say things like that and I don't even know what to say." She said eith a small smile.

Dimitri grinned widely at her words, letting a soft laugh emit from his lips. He lifted his head to look down at her, brushing her hair from her face gently. "Say what you're thinking," he urged softly.

Celeste lookd back at him intently and bit down on her bottom lip. "I dont even know what I'm thinking." She admitted softly, licking her lips as she looked up at him. "What are you thinking?"

Dimitri arched an eyebrow at her response, shaking his head a little. "That sounds like a problem, Celeste," he replied playfully, shaking his head a little at her. "About you, actually."

Celeste smiled a little at his words, furrowing her eyebrows together. "I know." She wasn't really sure of what person she was when she was with Dimitri because she felt like herself but she also felt different and she didnt know how to explain that. "What about me?"

Dimitri let his head fall back against the chair once again, humming softly in content before shrugging his shoulders a little. "I'm glad it's you, is all." He replied honestly.

"Yeah, me too." Celeste said slowly, nodding a little with a small smile and letting go of him to look ahead once again. "You know, we should try to schedule a flight to India soon if you want me to meet everyone before the avtual wedding, right?"

A smile came across Dimitri's lips at her words and he let his head fall to the side to look over at her intently. "Hm, yeah. I miss home," Dimitri admitted. He missed it more than anything, actually. He appreciated everyone making him feel so welcome, but nothing compared to being home.

"Then we should really go soon." Celeste said easily, reaching up to cup the side of his face with her hand carefully as he tilted it to the side, smiling. "We could use a break from here."

Dimitri lifted his head, tilting it to lean into her touch as she cupped the side of his face. "You think your mom will really let you go?" He asked gently, raising an eyebrow at her.

Celeste shrugged a little, grinning over at him. "Maybe we just should call up our pilot and get in our jet, by the time she finds out I'm not in Brazil I'll be out." She said playfully, though she meant it. A part of her also didnt think it would be a problem anyway since it could be considered business.

Dimitri almost giggled at her words, shaking his head a little. "Hm, and have your mother think I kidnapped you? Yeah, I don't think so." He replied playfully. Honestly, running away in any sense was appealing. But he didnt want to get Celeste in any trouble. Things were difficult enough for her as it was.

Celeste laughed a little at his words, leaning over to rest her head on his shoulder once again as she did so. "I really don't think she will mind that. She eill robably think it's business, honestly."

Dimitri shook his head a little at her words, exhaling slowly. "That really irritates me, you know?" He mused gently. "Like, you're her daughter yet it's always business when it comes to her. You're not property."

Celeste didn't move away, instead wrapped her arms around him because she needed that comfort. Just someone there for her. "Yeah...I don't know, it's not always been like that. I used to have an easier life but ever since she messed up...it's been so stressful and different." She murmured softly, shrugging as much as she could.

Dimitri wrapped an arm around her shoulders to hold her close as her arms wrapped around him. He shook his head a little at her words. He could definitely see that much. "It's her fault, though. You had nothing to do with it yet you're facing the consequences. She should be kissing the ground you walk on for saving her ass, you know?" Dimitri couldn't help but be frustrated regarding this whole thing. Celeste deserved better.

"Yeah. I just...I don't think of it like that, you know? This isn't just ablut me. If my family can't have the power, someone wih bad intentions will get it. Brazil and its people are everyhing to me, Dimitri." Celeste murmured gently, nuzzling her fslace into his neck and then lifting her hand to play with his hair a little.

Dimitri listened intently to her although he couldn't help but close his eyes as she played with his hair. "It's good that you care so much about them," Dimitri began slowly, "they'll be lucky to have you as their queen, Celeste."

Celeste laughed a little at his honesty, leaning in closer and bit down on her bottom lip. "I was thinking about you when you asked me...I was just thinking that I don't know what to do about you is all."

Dimitri looked at her intently as she leaned in closer to him, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He shook his head lightly, not following her. "What do you mean?" He asked gently.

"Like, I don't know...we have this sort of unspoken thing between us and I've been holding back on saying anything or doing anything because I don't want to mess it up." Celeste mumbled slowly, biting down on her bottom lip.

Dimitri looked at her intently as she spoke, shaking his head slowly as he did so. "You can't mess anything up, Celeste," he assured her gently, his eyes scanning over her face slowly as he brushed some hair from it.

Dimitri rested his hand on the side of her face gently, shaking his head a little at her words as a smile graced his lips. "Well, because we're kinda stuck with each other either way," he assured her playfully, running his thumb along her cheek gently.

Celeste laughed a little, nodding. "Wow, that sounds so romantic." She teased lightly, grinning a little at him and then finally pulling him closer to her to lean her head against his.

Dimitri chuckled softly at her response, shaking his head a little as he did so. He leaned forward to rest his head against hers, humming thoughtfully. "No, but really. I think too highly of you to mess anything up, I mean it."

Celeste stared uo at him as she studied his face, knowing that he really meant it but also a little scared of what this would mean until finally she just leaned in to press her lips to his.

Dimitri would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised as Celeste leaned into him to press her lips to his for a gentle kiss. God, he was attracted to her but never would have guessed she felt the same way about him. He didn't think that highly of himself. Dimitri gave the kiss right back, though, more than eager to do so. His hand moved through her hair until it gently rested on the back of her head. And immediately, he relaxed completely.

Celeste leaned into him as soon as she felt his lips against hers, her armd wrappong around his neck as she moved her lips slowly against his. It was so clear from day one that they were attracted to each other and a part of her hadn't done anything about it because he hadn't and because of he situation that they were in but she remembered that she was going to do this her way, so from now on, she would.

Dimitri moved his lips slowly against hers, really taking his time with the kiss as if to cherish every second of it. Dimitri's other hand moved to wrap around her gently, pulling her closer to him. For once, it felt normal. Like two young adults who were acting on the fact that they had feelings for each other. And Dimitri felt as though he was on top of the world. He finally pulled back after a moment, looking over her carefully as a smile came across his lips. "Well, if that's what you've been referring to this whole time you should have done that a long time ago." He teased her gently.

Celeste was beyond happy. Since all of this had began, the one thing she was happy about was that at least it was Dimitri. Domeone that she coukd see herself with and that seemed to, at least, genuinely interested in who she was. As they pulled back, Celeste giggled at his words and then pecked his lips. "Well, not that whole time. Don't be cocky now."

Dimitri kissed her back quickly, moving his hand from the back of her head to rest on the side of her neck gently. His smile only grew upon hearing her words and he shook his head a little. "I'm not! Just saying, really," he replied through his laughter.

"You better." Celeste said gently, leaning into his touch and taking a deep breath as she rested her head on his shoulder again. "Hm. I just didn't want ot be confused."

Dimitri leaned over to kiss the top of her head gently as she rested her head against his shoulder, giving her side a gentle squeeze. "Well, did that clear some confusion up for you?"

Celeste smiled a little, not moving from her position but lifting her hand to hold her thumb and index finger close together. "Yeah, but only a little bit."

Dimitri laughed once again at her response, looking at her intently as he arched a brow. "How can I make things crystal clear for you, hm?"

Celeste closed her eyes as she shrugged, laughing a little. "I don't know. Talk to me?"

Dimitri's eyebrows furrowed at her response and he leaned back against the chair once more, closing his eyes for a moment. "Uh, let's see. I mean, I think you're really incredible, Celeste. I've been attracted to you since day one. It's just...the situation we're in is so shitty. So fucking shitty, pardon my French. I wish we could just be like this. All the time."

Celeste lifted her head to look back at him definitely wanting to know how he felt about all of this and why he hadn't acted on his own feelings before that. "Yeah...I get it. I do too. I wish it were just us. But it isn't, D. I just...at least we know that this bis real, you know? I meam, getting married in like a month isn't ideal, but at least...I do like you." She murmured gently.

Dimitri nodded his head gently at her words, taking a deep breath. He nodded gently in agreement, leaning over to kiss her temple before pulling her against him. "Day by day, remember?" He murmured gently, then resting his head against hers. "We'll figure it out."

"Yeah." Celeste nodded, smiling as he brought her closer and she slipped her arms around him carefully, sighing in content.

Dimitri kissed the top of her head, sighing softly as he did so. "Wanna head back inside? Not to the party, but like, upstairs?" He asked her gently.

[harryisntstraight]

Sorry that was so long i just am feeling very confused about how i identify and i thought maybe you would have some advice or be able to help me out a little? You're always so sweet and kind and im feeling very lost atm. Sorry about only 2 of the asks going through tumblr didnt eat them my phone was just not letting me send them so i had to switch to my computer. You can just read all the asks and reply to just this one on your blog if thats ok? :)

aaww hey i’ll post the rest under a readmore so it doesnt clog ppl dash (soz if ur reading this on mobile jfhsdjh) also i posted the rest of ur ask just bc i feel like there might be ppl who resonate w the whole thing yanno

I've known I liked girls for a few years now and I've always labeled myself as bisexual and I have dated one guy and it was a pretty eh relationship. Didn't feel much so I broke it off. I recently have been really questioning my attraction to men. I feel sexually attracted to some men but not that many. I'll see the occasional guy I find attractive irl but that's pretty rare mostly I find some celebrity men hot but even that is very few when compared to the amount of women I find attractive I just feel like I find all women so beautiful and am attracted to them in this whole different way to men? Like it takes a lot for me to find a guy hot and when I do it's almost never to the degree that I feel for women. And when I think about men romantically it does nothing for me all the cute stuff you're supposed to want I don't? I can think about sex with certain men and find it very appealing and that's it. But when I think about dating a woman and doing really cute mushy stuff with her it feels so right and makes me feel like its all i want? And I can see myself having a wife and being with a woman forever but men just dont really appeal to me in that way i just cant see it? Thing is I've never actually dated a girl so i keep telling myself im kind of making it up in my head how much i want it or how it could be but idk. And i feel sexually attracted to some guys so i think oh but maybe there will be a guy you want all that with? and i just dont know anymore?

firstly hiiii i relate so much to so many things u said here and i feel like this such common experience for women that are into other women. i think for me personally, i’ve always kind of been quite into the idea of not labelling my sexuality specifically. i feel really comfortable with using labels like gay or lgbt or queer as umbrella terms when talking about myself, but referring to myself as bisexual or lesbian never really feels 100% right for me. like you said, i know that i’m attracted to women romantically and sexually so i definitely identify as being lgbt i just always find it difficult to point to one precise label thats more specific. i think in a way, a lot of what your describing is probably down to heteronormativity and a degree of internalised homophobia, like its something that we all have to battle with and deal with daily even on a subconscious level. when being same gender attracted is still seen as ‘abnormal’ i think its only natural to feel weird about that part of yourself and want to repress it slightly. i think being a woman as well we’re so defined by our supposed attraction to men that its hard to get over that and accept that it’s something you dont feel. even if you know if ur heart that loving women is a natural and beautiful thing, when ur constantly surrounded by a society thats so focused on heterosexuality it can be so difficult to accept that part of you no matter how much you want to. i cant tell you how you identify or what the right label is for you but i think just being open and not pressuring yourself into fitting one specific label can actually be really helpful and take a lot of the stress and anxiety away. i think once you stop frantically trying to put a name to what you feel, it gets easier to just....Feel(tm) what youre feeling and sort of go with the flow. not second guessing and analysing my attraction has honestly helped me a lot, if i feel something for someone i sort of just feel it. i try not to get caught up in putting a name on my sexuality, but instead just experience it as it happens. i think its a really natural thing to want to understand yourself and figure out who you are but honestly, you have so much time to do that that if you cant figure it out right now then its not that important. i think as long as you acknowledge your attraction to women and are open to exploring it then not knowing for sure whether or not you also like men isn’t a big deal. i definitely think that experience is helpful to understanding yourself better, once you have that experience it does help solidify things in your mind and i know for myself that once i started being with girls i became 100000% more sure that i wasnt ‘faking’ anything and that i was into them. that being said, it isnt mandatory and not having experience with the same sex doesnt by any means devalue your feelings or sexuality. long story short just give it time, dont stress yourself out too much with forcing a label that you’re unsure about. things will get clearer for eventually and maybe someday you’ll find a label that fits you. and maybe you wont and honestly thats okay too. sexuality is complex as hell and understanding yourself is genuinely a journey, it’s totally okay if you’re only just getting started. hope this helped a bit, love you 💖