#I LOVE YOU CARBOHYDRATE
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puyopuyoconfessions · 3 months ago
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Girl dinner
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its-not-a-pen · 1 year ago
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First day as an early-3rd-century warlord and I am fighting in the bloodiest civil war of my country’s history. Very few records were kept during this time and even fewer have survived, but I am one of the only people of my era to have an accurate, physical description that was verified by multiple sources. Was it because of my meteoric rise from sandal-weaver to king? My heroic exploits? My compassion for the downtrodden? No. it was because my contemporaries would NOT stop roasting me about my extremely big, stupid-looking ears.
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existencebringsonlypain · 9 months ago
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do I dare refresh and face the Beasts?
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lexicog · 2 years ago
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ohhh LOL i get it im getting April Fooled (lol!). trans day orf visibility is tomorrow.
#trans day of visibility#trans day of eating food#i love bein a fuckin transsexual... and i love food#breakfast was almond butter + strawberry preserves + butter sammich. more filling than i thought it would be#ouuuhh i have so much celery and spinach i need to use before it goes bad but im almost out of miso paste#pro tip for you people out there make very hot miso broth. put raw vegetables + spices in it. cover it and let it sit maybe 10-15 minutes#add a carbohydrate & or protein and maybe some sort of dairy or sauces (naysayers and haters may bring forth vitriol and venom for this but#an unsweetened greek yogurt goes great in miso. tangy creamy & savory flavor. it awesome)#consider adding oil for flavor and for the absorption of fat soluble nutrients oft found in vegetables#and there you go big breakfast warm healthy and no cooking tastes good every time#well you might need to cook the carbohydrate/protein but the method goes great with big batch cooking / using leftovers#its not the definition of high cuisine but breakfast must come and go each day and some days the stove is an enemy of the people.#OH I GOTTA SAY. SCRAMBLED EGGS TASTES SO GOOD IN THERE. YOU GOTTA IF YOU WANNA. you just put it in#it circumvents the scrambles 1 fatal flaw by stopping them from going dry and becoming a torturous texture to endure. kind of genius.#art#drawing#digital art#my art#transgender art#transgender artist#transgender#trans#trans pride#lgbt#this year i would like to. somehow get out of where im currently living. so i can finally start transitioning.#another year gone by without it and it's weighing heavy.
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existencebringsonlypain · 5 months ago
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and I'm not surprised. this is what I signed up for. or perhaps I didn't, but I'm here, and I knew what was going to happen.
all of you are invited
made a lil thing
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savageboar · 2 months ago
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speaking of metformin ive been considering trying to take it to improve my a1c but im concerned about the side effects and the correlation it seems to have with alzheimers and parkinsons. at least ill be seeing my doctor at the end of the month and ill ask him if there's a better medication for blood sugar. ive also been learning how to monitor my blood sugar with a testing machine. im trying to take it more seriously as i get older i guess lol
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sweetnans · 5 months ago
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Katsuki always paid attention to little details even when you were only a number in his mind. You ended number seven on the charts after the tests for UA application. He memorized the first ten and then recognized each one of you on the first day of class.
Your ID photo that appeared beside your score wasn't nothing alike like you were in person.
He completely flipped.
He pushed the feeling aside because he had no time to waste on stupid things, and he succeeded for a long, long time. Bakugo ignored you, pretended that you didn't exist and the fact that you were part of Midoriya's group the first months made it easy for him to keep you far away but that also made it hard to watch.
Why were you laughing at what shitty Deku had said? That fucker wasn't that funny.
Why was your hand on Deku's hair ruffling and combing it with your fingers?
He was fuming on the inside.
When Mina started to hang out with you, he was relieved that he won't have to see you with Deku again.
But then, you started to hang out with his group, and everyone loved you instantly. Kirishima always wanted to sparr with you, Kaminari always asked for your help on math and Sero, fucking Sero always inviting you to dance with him.
After he saw the behavior of his friends when it came to you, he almost preferred you hanging out with Deku.
He noticed that you smiled brightly every time Kirishima told you one of his dumbs jokes while having you pinned down on the floor mat after a sparr, but you never laughed.
He noticed your leg trembling under the table when you studied with Kaminari in the common room. He could bet that the bastard used every chance he got to flirt with you in the most hideous way.
He also noticed your pink tinted cheeks every time Sero gave you his hand for a quick dance around the kitchen.
Almost like you were uncomfortable with their demeanor.
You were pretty. He understood that they were making their moves to you, but you were just too shy and good to say anything to them, like you weren't interested at all for example.
One night, he couldn't sleep and went straight to the kitchen of the dorms to grab a glass of water. He never expected seeing you there scrolling in your phone leaning by the sink, waiting for the toaster to pop your bread out.
"You shouldn't be eating carbohydrates this late"
He startled you. He literally appeared from the shadows of the dining room dragging his feet, making no sound at all.
"Jeez, you should wear a bell or something," you giggled when he gave you a puzzled look. "Like a cat? So next time I know that you're coming?"
"I know what you meant." he walked to you and grabbed a glass from the rack.
He felt your presence in his bones like a static pulse vibrating under his skin. Maybe it was just your quirk trying to reach for him.
"What are you doing here this late?" You asked clearing your throat while he gulped his water in one go.
"What does it seem like I'm doing?" He pourred another glass. He wasn't that thirsty. He just wanted to be there in silence with you for minutes, without his obnoxious friends.
Your toast popped out of the toaster, and you grabbed it, burning your fingers in the process.
"Shit, shit," you exclaimed, blowing some air at your fingers to ease the pain.
"C'mere shithead," he grabbed your hand and put it under the sink, letting the cold water flow.
"It's fucking freezing" you tried to pull your hand back but his grip tightened.
"What did you expect? You just burned your fucking fingers doing the dumbest shit I've ever seen"
You didn't know if it was the serious tone on his voice or the way that he was struggling with you stopping you from taking your hand out of the water, but something about the scene made you let out a laugh, a big one. He had never seen you laugh like that before.
"Are you laughing at me?"
That question only made it worse. You were absolutely parting yourself from laughter. He turned off the water and watched you wipe your tears.
"I'm sorry, you're not that funny," you said, returning to your normal state. He grinned.
You passed by his side fetching your toast and poured some jam.
"Do you want some jammie toast with that water of yours?" You asked, offering a half eaten toast.
"Sure." he took the toast, and in return, he gave you his half glass of water.
After that encounter, he noticed that every time his friends were around you, you always tried to find him, looking for exchange glances, giving him a subtle smile.
He started to show up at your study sessions with Kaminari, and he noticed that your legs stopped trembling because his presence was enough for Kaminari to keep his mouth shut.
He also began sparring with you on training sessions switching partner with Kirishima leaving him with Sato.
And everytime Sero tried to dance with you in front of everybody he grabbed your arm and guided you to the kitchen or his room with a lame excuse to get you out of the situation.
Fortunately, his friend read the room pretty well. The three of them enjoyed more watching him play his cards with you than putting themselves on a constant shame.
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wanttobeh3r · 24 days ago
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Binging - How to Avoid It
In my experience, the key to avoiding binging is learning how to control my cravings. Now when I see a pack of chocolate covered biscuits I just look at it and go "meh" or at most even have 1 piece of it with milk *after* lunch and won't even feel like binging because I feel satiated (satiated ≠ full)
Cravings - What Causes Them?
A sugar crash is the sudden drop in energy levels after consuming a large amount of carbohydrates, such as pasta, pizza and desserts ↬ This is what causes your cravings and may lead to another binge, especially after a period of restriction
What I have done:
1) Get rid of the triggers. Get rid of sugary food, sodas, chocolates, sweets, etc whatever is the thing that triggers a binge. Out of sight, out of mind. If you can't because someone else is buying those things, stay away from them.
2) Up your fibre and protein intake. Fibre is wonderful, because it "clothes" your carbs aka the carbs in your food is absorbed much slowly into your blood stream + you don't absorb all the calories of the carbs you ate. For example, if an item contains 10 g carbs and 3 g fibre, net carbs is 7 g so you'll only take in approximately 28 kcal instead of 40. Protein will keep you satiated for longer as well as reducing your cravings
3) A sugar crash happens after a sugar spike. So trying to decrease that sugar spike will in turn help curb your cravings. A way to do this is to get active right after eating- it doesn't have to be intense, a 10-15 minute walk is enough or even doing leg lifts while you're sitting for 10 minutes
4) *Sometimes* I have water with 1 tsp of apple cider vinegar. Ideally it would be before every decent meal but it tastes bad so I dilute it a little bit more (1.5 cup water). "When taken before a high carb meal, vinegar slows the rate of stomach emptying and prevents large blood sugar spikes. It also improves insulin sensitivity, which helps your body move more glucose out of the bloodstream and into your cells, thus lowering blood sugar levels"
5) I wasn't sure if I should mention this since most people might already be doing it, but eating slowly and mindfully helps with it too. There's science behind it I promise XD
6) If you are prone to binging after a period of restriction, do not restrict!! You will only end up eating a lot more during a binge than you would if you ate 1-2 small meals during the day. My advice would be to plan your meals and follow through with it and trust me you will lose more weight than you have while b&p - ing
These are my tips to avoid binging, I hope they help you too 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 Repost so others can find and benefit from it. If you have any more advice/tips please feel free to drop them in the comments ^^ I'd love to hear about what has helped you
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hopeastrz · 2 months ago
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LIBRA THROUGH THE HOUSES: where you adorn the world with a touch of grace♡₊˚ 🎀・₊✧
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CHECK OUT SEPTEMBER SALE: fixed price on any and all of my readings 17 DOLLARS only.
TIP: could also apply to your venus placement!, also graceful as in where or how you’re known to be the most beautiful!
NOTE thank you so much for your support, you can check my master-list here, lots of love xoxo!!♡˚₊‧⁺˖
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LIBRA IN THE 1ST HOUSE | LIBRA DEGREES 7°, 19° ON THE AC:
Starting off strong with the divas, the queens and models, the placement of the best looking women i’ve ever encountered, you’re so graceful in the way you handle yourself, the way you walk and present yourself. You may have a very beautiful waist, jaws and butt, sorry to be so upfront but good googly moogly that thang is juicy af, ehem.. your presence is just so adorable and attractive, your outward behavior is always graceful and your physical appearance is on point!, i really love the way you guys dress!, you’re known to have a beautiful face and looks!.
LIBRA IN THE 2ND HOUSE | LIBRA DEGREES 7°, 19° ON THE 2ND HOUSE:
The food you cook can never be missed, i just love how you decorate your food and always make sure it looks beautiful, like using pretty plates and utensils with pastel colors, but umm.. please make sure your food tastes as good as it looks, (please don’t come for me) you guys tend to also prefer eating in aesthetically pleasing restaurants and cafés, you might prefer perfumes with vanilla scents (since vanilla is ruled by venus) and somehow you’re make up is always so flawless (tell me why??? What’s your secret!?? Sold your soul to the devil????) you my also have pretty wallets, oh and very beautiful material possessions, like paintings, antiques, and also your music taste is one of the best things about you, lastly your voice is quite charming and graceful, it may be kinda low or soft on the ears.
LIBRA IN THE 3RD HOUSE | LIBRA DEGREES 7°, 19° ON THE 3RD HOUSE:
The type of people to drive oh so gracefully, always making sure to follow the rules and have their passengers feel oh so welcomed and comfortable throughout the ride, you may keep snacks in your car, always need to have it smell beautiful, always have your favorite music blasting around the car, you’re the type to decorate it cars with charms and cute aesthetic things.. you may also have been known in your school, you might’ve been popular or you school in general is popular and looks beautiful!, also your neighborhood might’ve looked very nice too, and you’re known around there to be a beauty!.
LIBRA IN THE 4TH HOUSE | LIBRA DEGREES 7°, 19° ON THE 4TH HOUSE:
THE BEST BAKERS I KNOW, QUEENS AND KINGS OF CARBOHYDRATES AND VANILLA, STOP BECAUSE WHY ARE YOUR BROWNIES AND COOKIES SO DELICIOUS HELLO? we need to have a serious conversation after you give me all of your recipes, also why does your houses and room look so beautiful?, you are the real masters of interior design, like you really know the tips, tricks and the just right color schemes to bring out the best out of every space!, you may also have the best home in the neighborhood or have the best apartment throughout the residency. You may also prefer a minimal aesthetic looking self care products even if they weren’t even benefiting, and you may be the best looking member of your family, you’re the image of it, or all of your family members are quite beautiful, i do believe too that this placement indicates having a beautiful spouse!. Also not to sound like a creep but beautiful chests? Breasts? and it’s not even about the size, im talking about the shape in general (ughh don’t ask me how i know i just do)
LIBRA IN THE 5TH HOUSE | LIBRA DEGREES 7°, 19° ON THE 5TH HOUSE:
Beautiful boyfriends?, you really tend to choose people whom you hookup with carefully, if they’re not good looking bye bye to them (not everyone ofc, beauty definition is diverse to people) you’re known to go to places that look very beautiful and sophisticated for vacations?, also your art!, one of the most elegant and creative art makers you’ll meet in your life, you also may love drawing or painting as a hobby, just any soft and Venusian hobby and practice, maybe even you’re a make up artist!, also you’re hair is known to be the most beautiful about you!.
LIBRA IN THE 6TH HOUSE | LIBRA DEGREES 7°, 19° ON THE 6TH HOUSE.
Pilates princesses?, yes yes yes, i feel like you’re the type who look very beautiful while training since you might prefer low impact practices like yoga and pilates, very graceful while you workout, no sweat or any bad smell and you always have a cup in your to stay hydrated, and it kinda makes since because you’re a taurus rising!, people may enjoy going to different kind of workout practices with you, and you might also be known around your coworkers to be very handsome or charming, you may be the most beautiful one in your company, also you might be the type to dress your dogs or pets in general and groom their hair and build pink houses for them or treat them like your babies!, also your bodies are very beautiful, waist area is very charismatic!.
LIBRA IN THE 7TH HOUSE | LIBRA DEGREES 7°, 19° ON THE DC.
The father of your children, or your spouse may be quite beautiful, or you’re the one who’s known to be a beautiful housewife/spouse!, really charming, if you ever decide to start a business it may be generally focused on venusian themes, like art, clothes, perfumes, makeup etc… you may also hear things like ‘your taste in men/woman’ is very beautiful etc. your spouse may also find you very beautiful, and of you wanna uncover your hidden enemies see who are close to your spouse, who tend to copy your looks subtly.
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LIBRA IN THE 8TH HOUSE | LIBRA DEGREES 7°, 19° ON THE 8TH HOUSE.
Well well should i really pinpoint the obvious?, sexy queens and kings, your kinks may involve art in some sorts or ways?, like painting on each others bodies idk, very ‘lady on the streets freak in the sheets’ placement, you may also be known to have a beautiful kitty, also you’re usually sucker for future spouse readings pacs and astrology content on tumblr lmao, keep feeding your delusions my ladies because you may really manifest your ideal one!, you may also make plastic surgeries to fulfill the ideal image you have for yourself (pisces rising).
LIBRA IN THE 9TH HOUSE | LIBRA DEGREES 7°, 19° ON THE 9TH HOUSE.
You may have studied arts in university or architecture and even law, studies that involved beauty and art, or literature and law, you probably went to one of the most prestigious universities, or your uni looked beautiful, has beautiful sceneries. You also prefer to read rom coms or erotic novels for some reason, you really love romance, and also you may travel to specific countries because they’re known to be beautiful and artistic, like France for example, you probably fit every country beauty standards!, (because of the Aquarius rising, fit every country standards but your own)
LIBRA IN THE 10TH HOUSE | LIBRA DEGREES 7°, 19° ON THE MC.
The most beautiful woman around the workplace and in your career idc, oh also you might like dating people from work, especially those who has a higher position than you!, like your bosses for example, you also may work with some really beautiful people, like modeling career for example!, you work with beautiful woman or even celebrities, also you may have a really graceful and admired public image!, your career also pays you quite generous amounts of money, salary may be good!!, and you may be lucky in this area, you catch people’s attention easily because of how beautiful you are, and also your long term goals may involve marriage, finding/becoming the ideal spouse or change your looks.
LIBRA IN THE 11TH HOUSE | LIBRA DEGREES 7°, 19° ON THE 11TH HOUSE.
The regina George of your friends group and the Zendaya of social media, blessed with grace and beauty, also good company!. Whatever you do you may see people do the same, i know someone who had this placement back in Highschool and she used to wear glasses, whenever she changed them her friends who also wore glasses always loved to get the same glasses as hers lmao and she had a girl who copied her. you also might be known to be very creative and aesthetic on social media, if you have a personal account or a random account for whatever topic you will make sure it looks aesthetically pleasing, you’ll be told things as ‘your feed so aesthetic’ etc.. you also love taking care of your bio and make sure your posts match each other, also i believe this is one of the trendsetter indicators placement!.
You are really so kind and iconic to the point that whoever enters your life becomes better looking and take care of themselves, it seems like they’ve had a drastic glow up after meeting you because of really how iconic you are, you might also open their eyes onto things they’ve never known, think about it.. how many person changed their style because of you?.
LIBRA IN THE 12TH HOUSE | LIBRA DEGREES 7°, 19° ON THE 12TH HOUSE.
Sleeping beauties?, is your second name princess aurora?, im not even kidding when i say you sleep beautifully, like for real, you barley toss and turn while sleeping, if you for example slept on your right side you without any doubt will wake up in the exact same position, you guys rarely snore, talk or even do anything that might be considered annoying while sleeping, also you know these people who wake up with perfect hair and a fresh face in the morning?, that’s you!. You may also appear in your lovers dreams a-lot, or your husband in case you’re married, you might excel in fulfilling other people’s fantasy about you too because may appear to be the picture perfect partner or the ideal trophy wife, and your enemies may be people whom you’ve had a close romantic relationship with or your business partners, and conflicts may end in court.
also this might be kinda random but do you cook seafood the best or like love it the most?, and also do you make the best cocktails or drinks?, your past may be solely focused on romantic relationships or you have a constant fear of relationships going wrong.
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cluepoke-archive · 1 year ago
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Now I feel a bit silly because yeah carbs are in everything. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN THOUGH OK... I hope so. I meant bread products in general :>
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PSA don't feed the geese !!!
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catssluvr · 3 months ago
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𝓬𝓸𝓯𝓯𝓮𝓮, spencer reid
spencer x shy!r
spencer brings you coffee <3
warnings: mentions of stress? just fluff 🫶🏻
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You sighed as your eyes scaned the paper in front of you, not bothering to take a look at the mountain of files standing at the corner of your table. You were pretty much sure that if you did, your headache - that would soon turn into a migrane - would start showing signs way too soon in the day. 7am was definitely too early for that.
This week was particularly kicking your ass and the only thing you wanted was to go back home, curl into your sofa with some takeout and watch a junkie romcom.
You couldn't help but frown at the empty chair of the table in front of yours that belonged to spencer, it was unsual for him to be this late. Well, technically he wasn´t late but knowing him he would usually arrive 30 minutes earlier.
Before you could think too much about it, Derek´s voice sounded behind you, "You alright, pretty girl?" He asked with one of his teasing but loving smiles plastered on his face.
"Yeah, just tired of paperwork. Hotch knows how to make me get as grumpy as him." You joked with a smile, trying to mask your tiredness.
"Well if you need me to kick his ass just reach out." He joked, looking aroud to make sure there was no sign of your boss before walking back to his desk.
You were about to get back to your paper when you noticed Spencer walking through the doors, clumsly carrying two coffees and what happeared to be a box from the place where they sell your favourite bagels.
You couldn´t help but smile as you watched him take small steps to his table, careful not to spill the coffee. You would have helped him if your mind wasn´t concentrated on how much you miss him lately. Aside from the fact your stomach errupts in a thousand butterflies when you see him, he is the best bestfriend in the whole world and having to cancel friday´s movie night was probably one of your most heartbreaking decisions. You usually wouldnt miss it for nothing but files don´t yet fill themselves alone so it was your only option.
Friday nights were the only oportunity you had to relax completely, Spencer was probably one of the only people that you were completely comfortable around, he understood you like no one else - which leads to the big question: how could you not fall in love with him?
"Hi." His voice interrupted your thoughts, he was now standing beside you with his signature smile, a cup of coffee in one hand and a bagel wrapped up in a paper in the other.
"Hey Spence." You smiled shyly at him, embarrassed for getting caught in your daydream. Gladly, he hadn’t ´t even noticed you staring, him being just as oblivious as you when it came to the feelings you shared for eachother.
"I- uhm- bought you this. I just noticed you haven´t been taking breaks at all, not even for lunch. And if you're not eating enough during the day, particularly carbohydrate-rich foods, you may have decreased levels of serotonin, a hormone that has a calming effect. That increases the chances of getting stressed." He rambled on, not that you minded - at all. In fact, your heart skiped a beat at the thought of him caring so much about your health that he came in late just to buy you breakfast.
"Oh Spence you really didn´t have to. But thank you so much." You grinned sheepishly as you got up from your chair, taking both the coffee and bagel from his hands and setting it on your table, blushing when his knuckles brushed against your hand. It was silly, really silly, but you couldn´t help but get flustered every time.
"It´s no problem, really." He mumbled softly before going on, "I hope i got everything right. Four cubes of ice, three fourths of milk and one fourth of coffee. Oh and i made sure to choose the bagel that contained more carbs so you would have energy for the day." He smiled proudly at you.
But honestly your attention was mostly focused on the way his fingers were fiddling with the cozy sweater that covered your arms as he rambled on. It had became an habit of his, he claimed it helped his concentration (it was a pretty lame excuse to get to touch your fluffy sweaters) but you were pretty sure he did it when he was feeling nervous about something.
Reality hit you suddenly as you realised he might feel like you were upset at him for canceling friday night, after all it was a very unusual for you to cancel plans with him.
"Hug?" Was all you could muster out, the longing you had felt throughout the week from barely even talking to him finally coming to the surface.
His hands pulled at your sweater, bringing you close to him before you could overthink your request. He wrapped his arms arounds your waist without hesitation, his face snuggling against your neck.
Your arms went around his shoulders, trying not to squeeze him too hard, as you stayed there for a few moments. He made no sign to pull away from you until you did, you loved that about him - you loved a lot of things about him.
When you were finally out of his embrace, mourning the lack of warmt right after, he smiled as he whispered softly, "Let me know if you need any of those again." Before walking back to his desk, almost tripping over his desk as he looked at you with those doe eyes of his the whole way.
How could you not fall in love with him?
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
love you,
cat 🤍
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misserabella · 6 months ago
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two geniuses (don’t get along)
enemies to lovers;; spencer reid x fem reader!
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masterlist!
note; in this fic lila’s episode happens after elle’s departure to make the story have more sense. (S1 E18). also there have been some changes :))
synopsis; spencer reid; doctor spencer reid. some of them (mostly of them), would say he’s a genius. but if he was, then so you were. maybe that’s why you hate each other. maybe that’s why you can’t stand him.
cw;; +18 content! minors dni!, reader and spencer’s competitive asses, talk of murder, graphic scenes, weapons, guns, blood, shots being fired, lila flirting, spencer kissing lila, lots of fighting, lots of tension, teasing, apologies, reader getting hurt (mentions of stitches), threats, murder of secondary characters, talk about kinks and trauma (spencer being a smartaas), mention of spencer’s childhood and her mom… ( i bet there’s so much more but i can’t remember rn) angst, fluff and smut in upcoming chapters!!!
“another coffee, pretty boy? you wanna die?” morgan inquired the puppy eyed profiler, whose right hand held a cup of freshly brewed coffee.
“actually, the caffeine in coffee has been found in animal and cell studies to protect cells in the brain that produce dopamine. in a large prospective cohort of more than 500,000 people followed for 10 years, an association was found between drinking higher amounts of coffee and lower rates of death from all causes.” he easily spat in less than a mere minute, making morgan scoff.
“it’s not considered coffee if a 99% of it is sugar, reid.” you barged into their conversation, taking a look at the files of new cases.
“sugar is one type of carbohydrate, as are fiber and starch. carbohydrates are essential macronutrients.” he defended himself, taking a sip of his coffee-sugar.
“wrong. although carbohydrates are essential macronutrients since the body uses them in large amounts, something wrong about your thesis is that sugar is not one of those macronutrients. the body doesn’t use it. in fact, the effects of added sugar intake which are higher blood pressure, inflammation, weight gain, diabetes, and fatty liver disease, are all linked to an increased risk for heart attack and stroke. so yeah. technically, morgan was right. you might die.” you nodded towards the man, who smiled at you, walking towards you and taking your face in between his hands.
“have i told you how much i love that brain of yours?” he inquired, leaving a kiss to your forehead. “brilliant.” he smiled, raising his hands in victory since for once he had won spencer and his extensive knowledge. the profiler simply rolled his eyes.
“thanks.” spencer spat at you, to what you smiled.
“you’re very welcome, agent.”
“it’s doctor.”
“yeah, yeah. whatever.”
spencer reid. with an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and the ability to read 20,000 words per minute, he was considered a real walking genius. maybe that’s why the two of you seemed to despise each other so much. people say geniuses actually like each other. well, you and spencer were the exception. it was easy to get on his nerves. he was not used to having someone smart enough to actually suppose a threat to his intelligence. yet there you were. you had been jumping your way up to college since you were twelve, and at the ripe age of 22, and numerous phds later, you had found yourself working at the BAU.
you had been hired after elle had left the team, and everyone had seemed happy greeting you. you had specially made quick friends of penelope and morgan. something reid didn’t seem to like. well… he didn’t exceptionally like you. something that seemed stupid ‘cause you two were the perfect pair. there was nothing the two of you didn’t know, nothing you wouldn’t catch or realize. maybe that’s why spencer despised you. ‘cause now they had you too, not only him.
it was actually a pity. you liked smart people. you liked to share opinions and learn new things you might not know with the help of others. but spencer was borderline narcissistic, and that made your body cringe in disgust. and worst of all, he was really attractive. curly caramel hair, hazel puppy eyes, full lips, small straight nose, tall stature, pretty hands… also his voice…
well, anyways. you were losing focus.
so you’d decided to match his energy. and that only seemed to make the situation worse. sure, you two worked together, but only because you had to, if you could you’d much prefer to do everything alone rather than have to share office with reid.
hotch caught your attention as he pushed a file on your table.
“and what’s this…?” you sung as you took it, inspecting it.
“training program in los angeles.” you looked at him. he was leaning against your table. “want you to go with gideon and reid.” you let out a single chuckle, tossing the paper on your table.
“no.” you simply said, watching the man sigh. “tell jj to go! or prentiss!” you offered.
“can’t. jj is helping penelope to trace an unsub and prentiss is new, need someone who has been on the ropes longer.”
“then what about morgan? he’s not doing anything.” you pointed at the man who played with a mini football.
hotch looked at you. “please? you are the only one who gets reid. you know how he can be…”
“a narcissistic, egocentric, babbling, childlike, fourteen looking mess? yeah, i know.” you smiled. “but what do i win in this situation? i mean i must gain something if i’m gonna spend more time than necessary with him.”
“a free weekend.”
“done.” you gave him your hand. “a pleasure doing business with you, sir.”
-
“spencer! spencer reid!” you hear someone call for your work-mate, a tall smiling man approaching him and shaking his hand just as the three of you entered an art exhibition. “look at you. you look just the same.” he chuckled as he gives him a quick hug. “nothing changed… spencer was the only 12-year-old in our graduating class. just the same.”
“thanks.” spencer awkwardly says, giving the man a tight smile. “these are special agents jason gideon and (y/n) (l/n). this is parker dunley. we went to high school together as you can probably gather.” he introduces all of you.
“hey. it’s a beautiful gallery.” jason gives him his hand in a shake.
“oh, thank you, thank you. parker smiles, later on turning towards you.
“contemporary art… right?” you inquire offering him your hand, to what he nods. “contemporary modern art includes a wide range of mediums and genres. it is often characterized by its use of new media, such as video and installation art, as well as its rejection of traditional art forms. contemporary modern artists often experiment with form and content, and their work can be highly conceptual.” you say, making the man chuckle.
“i see you brought your computers.” parker jokes with gideon about spencer and you. “another genius like spencer?”
“oh no, men are just smart. woman are the geniuses.” you smile, making him chuckle.
“and funny, huh? i see, i see.”
spencer coughs to grab the man’s attention. “jason’s a big contemporary art enthusiast.”
“well, we’re exhibiting four up-and-coming artists in this show. everything is for sale. and i could definitely swing a nice discount for a friend of…” he loses focus as a blonde beautiful woman enters the exhibition. “lila! hey. guys, come on.” he invites you three towards his friend, coming up to her to say hello.
“do i look 12-years-old to you?” spencer inquired gideon, to what you scoffed, thanking the waiter that offered and served you a glass of champagne.
“oh, totally.” you said as you took it, taking a sip as you heard spencer crack a fake laugh.
“real funny.”
you three made your way towards parker and… lila. she was a beautiful blue eyes-blonde young girl. the basic american beauty standard.
“spencer. you ever met a real movie star?” the man asks, to what the girl beside the blonde scoffs.
“movie star? please. she has a supporting role on a television series about beach volleyball. totally blue-collar.” your eyebrows slightly rise.
“what a friend…” you whisper to your glass, taking another sip of the champagne.
“i’m lila.” the girl gives a sweet smile to spencer, and you almost roll your eyes.
it’s only a matter of time.
“hi, im doctor spencer reid… i’m spencer. you don’t have to call me doctor.” he corrects himself.
lila chuckles. in 3… 2… 1… and tucks her hair behind her ear. there we go.
“cool.” you say, turning around without even introducing yourself, it’s not as if she’d pay attention to you. she’s too focused on spencer to care as you make your way through the gallery, taking the artwork in, trying to scape the probable flirting that was about to go down.
later on you found the two of them chatting in front of a picture in which the blue and green dominate.
“does it make you feel anything?” the blonde asked him, and you silently expect an answer from spencer.
“like what?” he asks. god he sucks.
“i can’t tell you how to feel.” lila chuckles at his frown.
“right now i feel pretty good.” he smiled and you roll your eyes.
“lila? can i talk to you for a moment?” parker interrupts their chatting and the girl nods, quickly glancing at spencer.
“excuse me.”
“sure!” he gently says, and you make your way towards him.
“feeling pretty good, huh?” you inquire him, teasingly, and he groans. “you totally suck.” you take a sip of your glass and he looks at you. “poor girl seems desperate.”
“desperate for what?” he inquires, frowning.
“oh come on, reid. and you call yourself a profiler? it’s obvious she likes you. she was trying to flirt with you.” you obviously state. “she was trying so hard and you were not catching on…” you laugh, and he sighs.
“you know ogling on other’s business is rude, right?” he questions you.
“we’re the fbi. we’re on everybody’s business. that’s our job, reid.” you ignore him, taking a look at the photograph lila and him were staring at. “calming, isn’t it?” you say and he looks at the photograph as well, taking it in.
“sometimes, the color blue is associated with loneliness and sadness. it usually happens when you combine it with specific elements, like rain.” he spits and you chuckle.
“i know that, genius. the thing is not how it’s supposed to make you feel, it’s how it really makes you feel.” he looks at you as you sip from your cup. “with lila, you might feel good, ‘cause you enjoy her company, with me on the other side, you might not even want to be here, staring at a photograph that you’ve probably seen before. that’s because you focus on everything too much. you need to see what the picture actually tells you, not focus on the person you’re staring at it with.”
spencer’s hazel eyes go back to the picture, trying to focus on it, not on your presence, or the amount of voices that surrounded him.
the exhibited photograph shows an empty gas station, lights of green engulfing it as the nightlight blue sky surrounds it. it takes spencer back to his childhood. to those days in which even if he loved his mother, he couldn’t spend another minute by her side and left his house late in the afternoon for a walk. it helped him get out of his head. he remembers watching the sun go down as the night took over the sky, studying and calling out the constellations above his head, trying to find a solution to his mother’s illness. the stars never worked, and he was always left…
“it makes me feel alone.”
-
“you know, we really can get ourselves to the airport.” gideon said, reid and you trailing behind him as the police officer guided you to his car.
“i didn’t invite the fbi here to let them make their own way around town.” he says, never minding gideon.
“we really appreciate it.” reid says and you whistle.
“so you have manners, huh?” to what he groans.
“oh, shut up.”
“hey, i can’t thank you guys enough for conducting the seminar.” kim smiles.
“well, don’t hesitate to call if there’s anything we can help with.” gideon offered, putting his bags on the trunk of the car.
you stretched your arms after having pushed in your own. “can’t wait for that free weekend.” you muster happily, to what spencer frowns.
“free weekend? what are you talking about?”
“a special thanks from hotch for coming all the way here and putting up with you.” his mouth falls open at your words.
“i didn’t get any free time and i had to put up with you!”
“that let’s you know who’s the problem in this equation.” you falsely smiled at him, patting her shoulder, and you relished on the way his jaw tightened.
your conversation ends as the three of you watch officer kim end a phone call with a not very enthusiastic ‘great’.
“everything alright?” jason asks.
“double murder at hollywood bungalow.” he informs. “a celebrity. a young movie star, natalie ryan, and her fiancé shot to death.”
“very romantic.” you mutter.
“it’s gonna be a major pain in the ass. hey, you guys care to take a quick look before i drive you to the airport? it’s on the way.” he asks, and gideon accepts the offer.
“absolutely.”
you sigh as you get on the back of the car along with spencer.
“seems like that weekend is gonna have to wait.” he happily and teasingly smiles and you send daggers in his direction.
“i’ll choke you with my bare hands.”
“did you get that kink by exposure or trauma?” your mouth falls and your eyes widen.
“what?” you almost yell, watching him ponder.
“maybe it’s because you like to have power and control. have you talked about this with a therapist?”
“you’re gonna have to see a therapist after the torture i’m gonna put you through if you don’t stop that fucking nonsense.” you warn him, and he raises his hands.
“i’m just saying, there’s nothing bad about seeking mental help-”
“spencer!”
-
“no sign of forced entry.” reid points out as the four of you enter the murder scene.
“same weapon.” gideon informs watching at the two bodies.
you stare at the female, getting closer. “the girl was shot execution style, once in the head. the male three times in the torso.”
“so you have two different MOs.” jason wonders before going back to officer kim, talking about the case. you crouch down to take a better look at the man’s corpse.
“what? you found anything?” spencer inquired from behind you, to what you shook your head.
“nah. just fantasizing.” he frowns.
“fantasizing. what the- what would you possibly be fantasizing about in a murder scene?”
“oh you know… you… in that position… you know? it’s really sexy, you should try it. here don’t move let me get my gun.” you offer while getting up, and he just rolls his eyes, leaving you behind.
“what do you think?” gideon asks the officer about the case, wanting his insight.
“i’ve had a couple other cases recently, past few months. same type of weapon, 22 caliber handgun, both shot in the head.” you look at the bodies. “the first was an established film producer, wally melman, and the second was chloe harris, another young actress. though not as well-known as natalie here.”
“any forensic evidence?” reid asks as you step away from them, taking in your surroundings.
“no, and the guys have been going through this place all morning and haven’t come up with anything.”
“so he clearly knows how to cover his tracks.”
“or hers.” you mutter to yourself.
“twenty-two’s are small but efficient. they bounce around inside a person like a pinball.” jason said.
“preferred weapon of the mafia.” spencer added. “you know, there’s no obvious sexual component to these crimes, which is usually the case with serial murders.”
“so you’re thinking this is a serial killer?” kim asks.
“well, it’s certainly a series of murders. we don’t know enough yet to call them serial.” you step into the conversation.
“would you consider hanging out in LA a little while? let me lean on your expertise until we do figure out what we’ve got?” the officer inquires and gideon nods.
“yeah, just cancel the flights. we’ll have the rest of pit team out here ASAP.”
-
the unsub seemed to follow his victims, since he knew their schedules. there was not a single witness, he knows how to blend in and hide in plain sight. he’s meticulous.
and everybody is watching.
just like everybody was watching spencer and lila.
after finding out that the unsub was actually stalking the blonde, and killing people to help her with her career, she had somehow scurried her way under spencer’s protection. it actually bothered you. ‘cause spencer seemed so distracted. and it was totally unprofessional to get involved with a target being their agent.
you were on her studio, studying everyone surrounding her. but it was one person that caught your attention.
“who’s that?” you question prentiss.
“that’s maggie, maggie lowe. for what i know she just works here.” she answers you. “why?”
“they seem pretty close, don’t you think?” you ponder, watching her physical language. “she also seems nervous, she avoids lila’s eyes.”
“maybe she’s just shy.” she shrugs, but knows what you’re pointing out.
“maybe…” then, jj appears.
“what are you guys talking about?”
“lila and possible unsubs.” emily fills her in, accepting the coffee she offers her, you take the one she handles you too with a thanks.
“talking about lila… look who’s approaching her.” she devilishly smiles. you almost groan at the sight of spencer talking to the blonde. “they seem to have hit it off.”
“ugh don’t start. he’s so focused on her when in reality he should be focused on his job…” you sip at your coffee, not realizing the shared look the other two girls send each other. “so unprofessional.” you shake your head.
“are you really mad because he’s distracted from his job or by the fact that a pretty girl is distracting him?” jj asked you, taking in your frown and confused expression.
“what?”
“oh come on, really? do you really not feel it?” emily pushes in too, and you look at them.
“feel what? i-i don’t understand.”
“there’s this weird tension in between the two of you.” the brunette explains, being backed up by the blonde.
“it’s like when two little kids like each other and they don’t know how to show it so they just mess with each other.” you scoff.
“you’re saying that spencer and i are attracted to each other?” you inquired them both and they looked at the other. “come on guys, have you seen him? have you actually worked with him? he’s a fucking narcissist, he makes my life impossible just because i’m as smart as him. i don’t like him. at all. i can’t even stand him!” you rant. “he does this thing when he’s focused, playing with his hands and pencils, it’s so distracting. and when i state a fact, he just has to find something to actually make it wrong. every single time. and let’s not talk about how fucking childish he is, if you guys had been here for the training program, i swear to god he said this stupid things about kinks and me having trauma, oh my god i wanted to fucking kill him. he diminishes me, and thinks he’s better than me. and it just makes me sick…” you take a deep breath when you notice how much you had actually talked and your friends’ looks. “what i mean to say is, no. i don’t like spencer reid. and if he wants to fuck his job up, i’d be more than happy.”
morgan suddenly appeared, hotch right behind him.
“guys. there’s something you have to know…” the first talked.
“michael ryer’s dead.” the second finished.
“oh shit.” emily cursed.
“does lila know?” jj asked.
they shook their head.
“she’s gonna be devastated.” jj said to what you sipped at your coffee.
“well at least she has spencer, right?”
“oh, yeah. can we talk about that real quick?!” morgan inquired, astonished.
“no, morgan!” the girls stop him and he raised his hands.
“okay… but the kid has game.”
-
“woah. i like your house.” spencer said as you two entered lila’s house.
how had you managed to end up with the two of them alone, you didn’t know, and you didn’t like.
“i rent it.” the girl smiled.
“nice.” he nodded.
“lila, you should probably change all your phone numbers.” you said, messaging your team, they’d found something concerning nude photos of the young artist.
“i’m unlisted.”
“anytime you call an 800 or an 888 number your phone number’s put into a data bank that’s then sold to telemarketers. if someone gets your phone number they can go online and research all your records.” you actually responded.
“woah, are you a genius like spencer too?” spencer.
“no. i’m actually smarter.” you gave her a small smile, making her chuckle.
“uh… you should probably carry a piece of paper and pen with you wherever you go in case you see any suspicious license plates that often reappear.” spencer tries to change the conversation as you two followed the blonde towards her kitchen. “and a security dog too.”
“allergic.” she simply answered. “do you guys want some tea?”
you shrugged. “yeah, sure. thanks.” spencer nodded as well. it was already getting late, the sun leaving the city’s sky.
“i’m gonna go change while the water boils, make yourselves comfortable.” she said while making her way upstairs.
you went back towards the salon, your eyes wandering towards a collage on lila’s wall. spencer got your left side, his white stripped button up shirt’s sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
“feel anything yet?” you asked him.
“there is something definitely appealing about this one.” he said and you nodded.
“like lila?”
he looked at you, his mouth falling open to say something, but just as the words were to fall from his lips, the blonde returned in a a more comfortable outfit, making her way towards the patio of her house, beside the pool.
“what are you doing?” spencer inquired her.
“i just need some air. the tea is on the kitchen.” she responded.
“what? no, lila…” your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you watched him go after her.
you could hear them talk and spencer beg her to come inside since there was a psychotic killer aiming at her. you made your way back to the kitchen just as fast as you saw the blonde lean into him, one of her hands tugging at his tie to pull him down. great.
your hands took the cup of steaming tea that lila had prepared you, your eyes on spencer’s as you took a sip. but the warm liquid was poured all over the floor of the kitchen, your head spinning at the blunt trauma that stroke you. your hands went to the side of your forehead as you fell, taking in the sight of your blood. you groaned as someone took you from your hair, pulling you and dragging you across the floor, your hands getting cuts from the smashed cup of tea.
“come here.” the unsub said, taking away your gun, and… you knew that voice. your eyes met the blonde’s.
“maggie lowe?” you muttered to yourself. so you were right. she was the killer and stalker.
you got dragged all the way to the salon, where you could see lila and spencer kissing from the distance. but the kiss quickly broke when maggie fired a shot up into the ceiling, capturing their attentions. spencer quickly pulled out his weapon, pointing at maggie, whose gun’s barbell was right against your head.
“maggie?” lila inquired as they slowly made their way towards you two.
“why’d you have to bring these people here?” she asked lila. “put down the gun.” she ordered spencer, clocking the weapon that kissed your skin. he quickly lowered it, calling out for the killer. “don’t call me maggie! you don’t know me!” “come on lila, let’s go. we gotta go baby, let’s go.” she ordered the actress in a soft yet hurt voice.
“maggie don’t hurt her, you don’t need to hurt her.” you didn’t know if he was talking about lila or you. or maybe both.
“you don’t know anything. i would never do anything to hurt lila. i created her.”
“no, you didn’t.” lila said.
“yes, i did!” you closed your eyes when the barbell dug harsher against your temple. “i did everything for you! and you betray me by bringing these people here… to our house!!!”
“so ungrateful…” you say, loud enough for maggie to hear you. “look at you… you gave her everything and you saw what she did to you… she kissed him. she told him she loved him.” you lied, looking at spencer. he caught on.
“what?” maggie incredulously said.
“i heard them. i saw them kissing each other like animals!” you yelled. “he abandoned me… and now i’m here. about to be killed because of him!” you spat, meeting maggie’s eyes. “you don’t have to hurt me. they don’t deserve us. i’m on your side maggie… i know how you feel. i know how it feels to be betrayed like this…” you nodded, seeing her eyes change. “give me my gun… i’ll kill him for you. and then you can have lila back. i’ll let the two of you go.” you promised, slowly rising up to your feet, extending your hand.
and just as she pointed her gun down, you tackled her, taking the weapons from her and throwing them aside as she fought against your hold.
“reid!” you called out for your work mate, who quickly came to you and handcuffed maggie, who just started crying and begging for you to kill her.
“i gave her everything…”
you looked at spencer, wiping off the blood from your eyes.
“and that’s why we need to stay professional.”
-
“are you okay, pretty girl?” morgan came to you as the paramedics wiped clean your wound.
“yeah, they say i have a light concussion. a couple of stitches and i’ll be alright.” you gave him a small smile.
“what happened in there, huh? we only got what the paparazzi had on camera, which is…” you nodded.
“yeah. well, maggie got into the house with lila’s spare keys, and basically almost killed me. it was good luck that spencer kissed lila, or else i don’t know what i would’ve done.” the rest of the team had gathered around you.
“you did good. spencer told me how you got into her head.” gideon said.
“thanks.” you responded.
“make sure you’re on the clear before getting up. we’ll be right back, gotta fill in the other officers.” hotch informed you, to what you nodded.
they all left except spencer, who silently looked at you.
“i’m sorry.” spencer said, looking at his feet. “this shouldn’t have happened, if i hadn’t…”
“… played barbie?” you finished off for him, catching his attention. “look spencer. i don’t really care about it. it’s your life and you make your own decisions, just… make sure to not put any of us in danger while doing it. even lila. one of us three could have died tonight.” he nodded. you reached on your back pockets, pulling out the films of the paparazzi’s camera. “i guess this is yours.” he called out for you once again, probably to apologize one more time, but you were still pretty shaken up and you were still pretty mad at him. “would you mind? my head is killing me.” you asked of him and he nodded, silently turning around and walking its way towards morgan and emily. your mind went back to her words the moment the needle punctured your skin. oh ‘come on, really? do you really not feel it?’ ‘there’s this weird tension in between the two of you.’. and then back to jj’s. ‘it’s like when two little kids like each other and they don’t know how to show it so they just mess with each other’. you couldn’t help but chuckle.
you liking spencer? no way.
if there was anything you felt for spencer reid that was hate.
-
a/n; im so excited for this series!!!! so much angst and fluff and smut yet to come!🤭
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why-animals-do-the-thing · 1 year ago
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You may notice I frequently comment on the assumptions people make about animal facilities based on their branding. Frequently, people assume accredited facilities are inherently better for animals than unaccredited facilities, or assume sanctuaries are inherently more moral / better at caring for their animals than zoos.
I want to show you an example of why I am always, always skeptical of these assumptions.
If you’re in the California area, you might have heard about Hank the Tank - who is actually a Henrietta, btw - the 500 pound nuisance bear from Lake Tahoe who broke into 21 homes in search of food. She was recently captured by wildlife officials and moved to a sanctuary in Colorado. The Wild Animal Sanctuary has three main facilities, two in Colorado and one in TX. To give you some context, it’s the biggest carnivore sanctuary in the country - they advertise somewhere between 300-500 animals, mostly large carnivores, between their properties. It’s where most of the Tiger King cats went. It’s PETA’s preferred placement for confiscated exotic animals. So, obviously, it’s got to be great, right? Except… take a look at what they posted about Henrietta’s arrival.
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Here’s their post about Henrietta’s arrival at the Refuge, the large facility in Colorado that isn’t open to the public. Let’s take a closer look at that food trough…
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What do we see here? An entire rotisserie chicken that is either blackened or highly seasoned, and a whole ham. Maybe a second chicken underneath the pile, I can’t quite tell. The sanctuary gets the majority of their bear food donated from groceries stores once it’s past the sell-by date, so we know those are older meats and they’re full of a ton of salt. Then, for fruit and veg, there’s a cantaloupe, mango, corn, avocado, grapes, and apples. Maybe a pepper or two, it’s hard to tell. That’s a lot of sugar and not a lot of fiber or roughage.
But… on top of it and to the right… are those Twizzlers?
Yes.
The sanctuary confirmed on Facebook that they fed this recently rescued obese bear what looks like almost an entire pack of Twizzlers.
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I don’t know of any world in which it’s appropriate to feed candy to a bear. Maybe a piece or two as a really high value reinforcer for hard behaviors (that isn’t relevant here, it’s openly against this sanctuary’s ethos to do any husbandry or medical training). An entire pack of Twizzlers is just appalling. But it’s not uncommon for this facility! I have a book written about their operations and animal care (that I bought at their gift shop this spring) which openly discusses how the bears get fed bread, doughnuts, marshmallows, and all sorts of incredibly unhealthy food that comes in with the grocery donations.
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But hey, this is apparently fine for the bears, according to the sanctuary’s founder. He was quoted in that same book as saying “Bears are the only animal I know of that can eat insane amounts of sugar and it never hurts them. It does not hurt their organs. They do not get clogged arteries. They do not have high blood pressure. In the wild they eat all these sweet berries in the fall, and they convert sugar to fat… so the more sugar they get the better… we would all love to have a system like that!”
Now while it’s true that bears have physiological adaptations that modulate their insulin production and sensitivity in ways that appear to prevent them from from developing diabetes, that does’t mean it’s healthy for them to regularly eat processed carbohydrates, sugar, and general junk food. And remember - Henrietta gained her fame because of how incredibly overweight she already is, and because she was seeking out human food, According to the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife, a healthy weight for a normal adult black bear is between 100-300 pounds. So, obviously, the best thing to do is… continue to feed her candy.
Then, later on in the book, it details how they have to bribe a camel to sit tight for a regular medical examination (since they don’t train for medical behaviors) by letting him drink a can of Mountain Dew each time.
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If a zoo was known publicly to be feeding their animals Mountain Dew or a couple Twizzlers - even just once, on a rare occasion - they’d be eviscerated in the media and by public opinion. But feeding out inappropriate junk food appears to be a pretty common practice at this place, and it just goes unscrutinized because everyone assumes sanctuaries are inherently better for animals.
So, long story short, never make assumptions about the quality of a facility based on it’s branding or accreditation. (TWAS is accredited by the Global Federation of Animal Sanctuaries). If you have concerns about the ethics or practices of a facility, always try to put your preconceptions aside, go and see for yourself, and think critically about what you see and what you’re told.
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seat-safety-switch · 4 days ago
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Nobody can stop you from enjoying baked goods. Big Magazine has tried to take their shot at it, with handwringing worries about "too many carbohydrates," as if that's even possible. Me, when I get worried about having too much bread, I get real anxious. Nervous. Trembly. Sweating palms. Then I go and eat some more bread to feel better. You can be like me. You can be free.
A couple years ago, I was banned from a local bakery. Why? Ate too many croissants. Went into what the literature is now calling "temporary pastry-induced delirium." That's thanks to me, by the way. Chirped at an attendant, and then it was a fight. I'm real bad at fighting, especially after eating my own weight in sintered flour. Their croissants were shit anyway. Not enough flake.
In rehab, I went through all the classic doubts. Maybe my love of baked goods was me looking for a better connection to my mother. Substitution, you know. Tried corn tortillas instead of bread. That did it, for a little while, until I went into debt at the junkyard taco truck, piling myself high with "extra avocado." That's when I realized I had a problem. That problem was: society.
See, psychologists like to talk about the shame spiral. Feeling shame makes you spiral into eating something else. If you don't feel ashamed of eating bread, you can eat all the bread you want. When this revelation struck me, it immediately became the core of my new power. When you sign up for my courses, and buy my books, and merchandise, and subscribe to my premium podcast, you can learn to eat baked goods without regret, too. We're calling it the Loaf Yourself First method. I'm looking forward to seeing you all at LoafCon 2025, at the Miami Beach Convention Centre. We're going to have some guy from Italy bring about six million maritozzi, and fight us for them.
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existencebringsonlypain · 9 months ago
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dreemur hugs!
Tag game!
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Tagging: @kid-az @para-cera-therium @dar1asp1n3lk1ss3r
If you aren't tagged but you see this on your dash, I'm hugging you too!
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thechekhov · 10 months ago
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Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH40
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Laios is apparently only good at drawing monsters.
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You guys have no faith in him! Come onnnn
To that point, if the shapeshifters that are left are the most similar to the real selves, doesn't that prove that Laios actually knows them best? The other, easily-discounted shapeshifters were easily singled out as fakes because they were so caricature like.
The remaining fakes are just minutely different from the real selves. Chilchuk has slightly larger eyes, Marcille's hair is thinner, and Senshi has sharper features. What that says to me is that Laios is actually the BEST at reconstructing them in his mind.
Unfortunately, that. Kinda makes it harder.
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Welll.......yeah. No, that makes sense.
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This is a problem you all created 😂
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This is legitimately making me question everything. Because like... Marcille A is acting pretty sus. But they've been through a lot, so maybe she's just depressed?
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Oooooooh someone minmaxed into gayness. That's certainly a dependable strategy.
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FAKE!!!!! He's the fake! Senshi would never deplete an ecosystem completely like that!!!!
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ah yes, all sorts of nutrition. White rice is known for its nutrition like...... (looks at smeared writing on hand) carbohydrates and scant amounts of folates. Yep.
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HE IS HANDSOME, BUT NOT "B"!! "A" IS ALSO HANDSOME!! THEY'RE BOTH HANDSOME!
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.......guys. GUYYS.
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Laios, you're such an absolute loser and I love you but please. Please turn on the autism. Just this once, please turn on the autism beam and point it at your friends. Please
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"all of them! Everyone is fake! Including me!"
Wouldn't that be a plot twist.
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why are both the chillchucks upset at this suggestion? shouldn't the real ones be relieved?
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Illusions with physical traits, though? Is that not obvious once you start roughing it up with it? If something can be physical enough to fight, why not just use that thing to overpower the adventurer, then?
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....so it's a vampire created illusion?
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Okay, so because I saw someone else post this page to my dash about a week ago I'm actually fully aware of what comes next, and I can say with certainty that it does not ruin it. At all.
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I gotta say, as a weird little kid that practiced barking like a dog and mimicking dog howls, this is making me feel SO SEEN. He's just like me fr.
And the fact that they're all supporting his talent........friendship is magic.
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I'm so intrigued by this man and how his mind works.
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Love is not letting your dumbass furry friend climb into the wolf enclosure at the zoo and try to fight the alpha of the pack.
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This is. So real. I've never seen a manga commit SO MUCH to the weird little man trope, and I love Kui-san so much for this. This is true representation.
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Dumbass recognizes dumbass. This is why they're friends.
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I WAS WONDERING ABOUT THAT. I also didn't remember it!
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Oh, hmm.....
I'm relatively certain the hand that Marcille grasped in the last chapter WAS the cat's hand. That means the cat followed them - but because no one knew she was there, the shapeshifter didn't create any illusions of her. That means she was just hiding out, observing everything.
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Is she just sleeping in there curled up on the rice?
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Ahhh, so it was a distraction.
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