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storiumemporium · 3 years

Text

Heart Break

Viktor/Fem!Reader

| Word Count - 5.3k | Angst with a little fluff at the end |

(A request by the lovely @midnight-soaked-kisses! It kinda got away from me, I hope you enjoy it though!)

"So—this is me indulging big time—but what about a fem!Reader who is a fellow scientist, yet more so in the medical field. She’s very close with him and Jayce, seemingly very optimistic, lively, confident, playful, etc. Yet, her life is falling apart in private, beginning to show by her absolute devotion to her work? Maybe she’s originally from Zaun and while working on something that would greatly help Viktor (but let’s just say he still isn’t dying yet?), yet due to her own neglected health—secretly not good at all—, they find out she has a bad heart and has to get a transplant? And maybe before she hit her breaking point, she and Viktor got into a pretty big fight because he was trying to make her stop working like a hypocrite?"

"Those who shine brightest, often burn fastest." A true enough statement of it's own merit. But something that becomes poignantly true for Viktor, when faced with your own mortality.

It's a concept as familiar to you as blue skies to a Piltie, just a grim reality that the people around you discussed like weather. The Gray.

How it was thicker one day compared to the last, or how it'd gotten worse in certain areas of the city. How it killed people.

How it killed your parents.

It was given a simple, pragmatic name reflective of the people who suffer from it. Gray lung, chemical carnage that steals the breath and then the life of all who aren't strong enough to fight through it. It was just...the way things were, how they'd always been and would be.

But it wasn't something you'd ever been able to accept.

Of course, that came with the pitying looks. People chalking it up to grief that drove you into your profession. It wasn't that it wasn't respected of course, Chemtech ran the Undercity and anyone who contributed to it was considered a worthwhile member of society, but where others built nastier and nastier weapons into prosthesis, or the latest fashion-drug to flood the Lanes, you made medicine.

And, you were proud to say, you were a child prodigy. By thirteen you'd made your first burn aid (after giving yourself hives on three separate occasions while testing it on yourself), by fourteen you'd made sleeping meds for insomniacs, and by sixteen half the Sump and a few dozen of the more well-connected members of the Entresol level already knew you by name, the teen who managed to mass produce painkillers and anti-inflammatories for heartbreakingly cheap.

So it wasn't too much of a surprise when the Academy letter showed up at your shoddy little shack.

You remember looking at the thing, tracing battered and calloused hands over the most expensive stationery you'd probably ever touch, and wanting to laugh; it was so ill-suited to the location it found itself in, luxurious gold red and white in a sea of greens and purples and ultraviolet. It was like looking at a classical fresco painstakingly brushed onto a greasy diner napkin.

And that, is how you met Jayce, how you ended up here, where you were now.

Jayce Talis, summed up? Overeager, excitable, people pleaser. A puppy.

He was a goddamn stereotype of Topside. So why did you adore him so damn much?

Maybe because he followed you around everywhere the moment he'd realized you were the awkward kid out of your depth. Maybe because he remembered your order at the local cafeteria. Maybe because he was so weird and earnest that even when you confessed to being from the Undercity, he just pestered you about what it was like down there with- seemingly impossibly- more enthusiasm than he already had for you.

You two were inseparable, really.

Jayce would come to your dorm caked in soot and oil to rant about mechanics, using you as a sounding board for why his latest groundbreaking invention wasn't working, and you'd show up at his apartment looking like you'd been stung by a dozen bees, pouting when he laughed at you after you told him your latest project went wrong.

Things were deceitfully easy then, hazy like sweet childhood memories. Like crayon drawings and missing teeth, paper boats and imaginary soldiers.

Then Jayce got banished, and defied the law, and revolutionized the world.

And... you met Viktor.

And Viktor was delightfully difficult.

Like first love.

You had mistaken Viktor's reaction to your heritage, thinking he was being more predictable than Jayce, that blanket of shock the tightened slim shoulders and made bushy brows shoot to his hairline- but, gradually, it melted into warmth, softness, "It is nice... to finally meet a friendly face."

You two had glued together for the rest of the weekend; Jayce off playing goody two-shoes with the Kiramman's and other Councilors, so you and Viktor went to cafes and libraries, poring over information for your respective pursuits while you whispered- intimate, slow, bittersweet with nostalgia about childhoods that were both worlds apart and yet irrevocably similar, a result of living in a caustic world.

The three of you just...orbited each other, after that. Viktor and Jayce, indomitable partners, inventors of Hextech, Jayce and you, the relentless visionaries, you and Viktor...

You and Viktor.

Reckless, hardheaded, unyielding. Unwilling to let go, let each other go.

———

Viktor knew something was wrong.

It wasn't hard to spot, once he'd started paying attention. Stupid man that he was.

It was Viktor's greatest flaw, he was utterly, horribly single-minded, a one way track that only sped up, burning through his resources until he accomplished his task or nearly died trying. And Hextech was a demanding mistress.

It had only sped up with him, with them, each new theory the duo of men proposed only brought more possibilities, more doors opening, more more and more still. It dragged him in, sucked him into the depths. Things to be explored, discovered, invented. Lives to improve, people to save. So little time to do it.

Five years later and the Hexgates had finally completed construction, and on an evening that he should be celebrating, he was pondering what a terrible friend he'd become.

Champagne swirls, sparkling and golden within a flute perched between his fingertips. It's almost disgustingly expensive, and the tight, burgundy suit he wears makes him feel exposed. It draws attention, he hates it.

You look tired.

He sees it, watching you from across the room, you're beside Jayce and leaning against him a little too hard. It's not normal for you, and even as you smile and joke and light up the room, it feels hollow. He can see how dark your undereye has become, the fact that you've gone pale. How long has it been since you last ate?

He knows you've been working on something, something incredibly important to you- it's a drive he recognizes in himself. But he can't help the writhing, electric string of anxiety as he watches you puff out a breath a little hard, catching up against a table as you turn to grab a drink for the people you were entertaining.

Fatigued, his mind finally supplies him- he's always been mediocre with the English language, she looks fatigued.

Idly, Viktor wonders if you've come down with something and were forcing yourself through it. It wouldn't be unlike you; Viktor still remembers the time Jayce had to butter up one of your old Professors, you'd promised to be her assistant that evening and hadn't shown up at all, embarrassing her in front of her entire class. Jayce and Viktor had needed a third pair of hands to stabilize a prototype reactor.

Viktor finds his jaw clenching, frustration brews within his stomach, fermented by alcohol and by the way you pause for a second, taking another breath to yourself when you think no one is paying attention.

She needs rest, his mind is as unhelpful as ever, she clearly doesn't want to be here.

But doesn't she?

You're not like Viktor. Viktor is by no means an insecure man, a common misconception, but he preferred solitude and the reward of helping people, over the glitz and glamor native to Piltover- the indulgent need to celebrate every little success. Though, he could admit, this isn't a small success.

Regardless, he knows you, you love people. Everything about them. It makes his heart clench when he hears you talk about people- the way you'll fondly point out how someone's nose scrunches when they smile, or the crows' feet they have, or how much you love their laugh. People adored you for a reason, you were easy to love. Terribly so. It was like Piltover had forgotten you weren't one of them, so enamored by your sweetness and enthusiasm.

He couldn't blame them, he was too.

Regardless, she can celebrate later. They can- they can have lunch inside the Hexgate, and he and Jayce can point out all of the little details that she won't understand and still nod excitedly about.

Viktor steps out from his little alcove to follow you, and Jayce steps into his way.

He's only half-hearing his partner at the moment, he's looking for where you've gone, but he's being dragged farther and farther away into conversations he has no interest in. By the time he gets a free moment, the night is almost over, and you're gone.

The next time he sees you, it's been two weeks, eight hours and thirteen minutes, and the moment his gaze lands upon you, worry and frustration churn over into seething anger. How has he let this fester so long?

You've lost weight, he can see it immediately, you've gone a little gaunt in the face, your neck is narrow, your clothes don't fit quite as well. Your hair looks duller and thinner, unkempt, and you're red around the eyes. You shoot him a soft smile as you slip into the lab, and his anger reaches even deeper into him, ripping up his nerves like a gardener clearing weeds.

"Hey..." Your voice is soft, and he hates the way it tries to douse the flame in him immediately. "Sorry to interrupt, I was just hoping to nab a few spare things around here before I get back to work."

You sound sheepish, and it's for all the wrong reasons.

You could take the damn Hex-gemstones for all he cared.

"How long as it been sense you slept?"

"E-Excuse me..?" You look taken off guard, blinking at him through bleary, tired eyes.

"How long?" He's encroaching on your space now, grabbing your cheeks and noting immediately how cold you are, if you feel chilly to him. "You should know better. Have you eaten?"

"I-I-" you stammer, gobsmacked. "I'm fine, Vik. Just a little under the weather, and besides, I'm getting close to finishing my project—"

"No." His voice is stern as it cuts you off, almost biting. "I'm not allowing you back there until you've had at least two nights of rest, and something to eat. You look terrible."

Something dark flickers across your dulled eyes. "Gee, thanks... I don't think you're in any position to be telling me what to do, Viktor. Nor are you my boss, so if you'd excuse me."

"Well I guess it's a crying shame that I am telling you what to do, then." He steps forward and into your path to grab you and guide you toward the couch, you step backward. Frustration creases his brow.

In all truth, Viktor wasn't wrong.

You had been feeling progressively worse the past few months. The ugly little difference was, you knew the cause, and you knew rest and relaxation wouldn't fix it.

Terribly little could, and it wasn't something in the cards for you.

You've begun to get lightheaded more frequently, you'd spent a good month covering a massive bruise on your face with an obscene amount of makeup after you'd fainted and landed face-first on your dining room table. You were losing focus more, more tired all the time, weaker, slower...

The pain in your chest had become a near constant. Throbbing and pinging, from little shocks to a searing agony that had you sitting down and clutching at your chest- suddenly and vibrantly aware of your mortality and the increasing probability that you'd die, soon.

Not that you minded.

Truly, what would you be losing?

No one knew you, terribly few cared. And those that did...

They'd be fine, without you. They already were.

Viktor and Jayce, they would be okay. Better than okay, probably. They were already leaving you in the dust, like you knew they would, they were just cut from a better cloth than you.

You just wanted to leave one last good deed behind, one last hurrah, one thing to be remembered by- something to remember your mother and father by.

And now? Something to remember your brother by.

You should have seen him again, you should have visited. You were terrible. The only person left in the world that loved you and you never even wrote him a letter. You didn't know until it was too late.

You grind your teeth together and glare at him, exhaustion and sickness bordering on delirium has you far angrier than you should be. Nothing about what he said warrants the rage in your gut, and yet, "Work on yourself, Vik, then you can worry about me, okay?"

"Excuse me?"

You start to blow past him and he grabs your arm, surprisingly strong. You sneer at him. "Come on, Viktor. You're not a shining model of health, and all you do is work work work. You're going to tell me to rest when you look like a stiff breeze could sweep you into an early grave?"

He flinches at that, and you feel a pang of guilt.

"I don't want you hurting yourself," his voice is flat and quiet, unnaturally level. He lets you go. "But if you're so very keen on throwing your own life away for another stupid little medicine of yours to stop the tragedy sweeping through Piltover that is seasonal allergies. So be it."

That destroys you a little, on the inside.

So you get angrier.

"That's rich coming from you, Viktor. What's your work done for anyone, huh? For the Undercity, like you always preach. From this angle it just looks like you sold out. Piltie lapdog."

Your heart is throbbing painfully now, the adrenaline spiking through has you feeling a little fuzzy, but you hear Viktor suck in a sharp breath through his teeth, riled and ready to retaliate. "You don't know what you're talking about-"

"Don't I?" You step into his personal space then, and his eyes never waver from yours, a challenge. "Look around, Viktor. A big fancy tower in the middle of Piltover, for people from Piltover to use, for trade with Piltover, to make Piltover richer.

Congratulations, you've well and truly divided the Undercity and Topside forever, Undercity will spend the rest of it's days just trying to play catch up with Topside, and it's because of you and Jayce."

Your anger dies with each word as sadness bubbles up, hurt over this stupid argument, sensitive from the pain in your chest, and hurt over how Viktor had so effortlessly picked out your worst insecurity and twisted it.

How useless you really are.

"You're right... My work has amounted to nothing, the whole city could survive just fine without any of my contributions... But at least I know my people can actually use what I've made, instead of it permanently sinking them into destitution."

You're halfway to the door now, the things you'd gathered sitting heavily against your hip in a duffel bag. It feels like an anchor now, as your body protests against any and all movement, singing for you to just lay down where you were and sink through the stone.

"Goodnight, Viktor." You hate how weak your voice sounds, and you leave before he can respond.

———

Viktor and Jayce hear nothing from you after that night, presumably you've thrown yourself fully into your work again, and Viktor, cowed by the way you'd torn into him so brutally, makes no attempt to reach out. Even as the days roll passed.

In truth, he felt immensely regretful of how everything happened, as well as... Introspective.

It had ruined him, a little, hearing you so viciously tear down what he'd worked so hard for, and yet as he licked his emotional wounds, he couldn't find that you were wrong.

He just wishes he could take back what he'd said, the look in your big, sad eyes hurt worse than any insult you could have thrown his way. He knew it was a low blow, something he knew you fretted about, even if you never admitted it outright. You almost compete with Jayce and himself, constantly comparing your own value to them.

You just didn't know how much you were worth. To this world, to him.

He tinkers, and he worries, and he worries, and he tinkers. He's not getting much done, just turning over that night in his mind, trying to figure out what went wrong, what he did wrong, how he could have come about it gentler, coaxed you to the couch instead of trying to be demanding when he knew you weren't one to be commanded.

He decides he'll apologize, he'll ask forgiveness and to try again, he'll plead, even beg, for you to let him care for you like you needed-

"Viktor!"

He startles, Jayce is screaming, he can hear the man long before the doors slam open, and the sight of his partner makes his stomach drop.

He's disheveled, breathing hard like he's ran the whole way to their lab, and he looks frightened.

"What? Jayce, what happened?" He's starting to get up, and Jayce is shaking his head frantically.

"It's- it's- she-"

Viktor doesn't need him to finish that sentence, there's only one she that matters this much. Only one she that Viktor would care about.

"Where is she?"

———

Not like this. Please, no.

You're laid out like a corpse in the hospital bed, arms rested limply at your sides and decorated in needles pumping all manner of fluids into you. You look, Viktor thinks with agonized irony, like him.

You're bony and wispy, skin clammy, pasty, none of the life is left in you.

Jayce is out speaking with the physicians and specialists that have been called in to care for you, and it leaves Viktor to eat himself alive as he looks around the sparse room. Some flowers have been left for you, with ineffectual bordering on impersonal get-well-soon letters tagged to them in a manner that makes Viktor angry again.

Did no one else care enough to actually come see you? To leave you something important, even if it's just company in such a vulnerable time?

He sets his cane aside and forces himself to hobble forward without it, afraid of waking you with the offending objects' racket. The bed is close enough, and he finds himself sitting at the foot, just staring at you, what was left of you.

His mind stabs him with a single thought, it's the only one that he can think of, and it steals his breath away.

What if you lose her before you can apologize..?

What if you lose her before you can tell her how you feel..?

What if you lose her before you ever had her at all?

He lays onto his side, and gently, he peppers your cold, still fingers in kisses, pleading silently for your life.

The door opens, and slowly he sits back up as Jayce and a woman he recognizes from before steps into the room.

"So," her voice is blessedly soft, and he hopes that you don't wake. "I take it you were never informed of her condition..?"

"No." Jayce's voice is soft, weary. He's looking at you. "What's happened? Is she okay..?"

"I'm going to be quite blunt, Mister Talis. No, she isn't."

Viktor's soul wails.

After a moment of flipping through papers, she speaks again. "Last year she came in for an abrupt fainting episode, we ran tests on her blood pressure, oxygen levels, and brain, among other things. She came back with a partially collapsed heart."

Viktor's gaze is wide and unblinking, horror dawning on him in ways he could never describe.

"It's very brittle, you see. And only two options were available to treat this, surgery to attempt to brace the heart, which has a high fatality rate," Viktor winces. "Or a full replacement, extremely expensive to buy your way into- very time consuming to be put on a waiting list for."

"She- she's been..." Jayce is in disbelief. "She's been waiting for a new heart, for an entire year?"

"A little over, yes."

"She never told us..." Viktor's voice is distant, it feels outside of himself. He's cold all over.

Jayce's hand comes down on Viktor's shoulder, and he doesn't fight the few tears that roll down his face.

"I'm sorry," the woman speaks again, turning to leave. "I truly am. If you need anything, my office is open."

I need you to get the woman I love a goddamn heart.

———

You don't wake up, not for a long time, and Viktor doesn't leave. He finds himself talking to nobody a great deal.

Jayce has begun to advocate and push getting you a new heart very aggressively, stirring up as much of a fuss as he can manage to see if you can be bumped up in waiting, knowing full well you didn't have enough time left to wait months, or even years.

He was met with the same response, every time. Other people need hearts, too.

And Viktor knows that, he does. But they're not you, they'll never be you, and so he cannot fight the bitter, selfish part of him that says every last one of them can be damned for all he cares.

He's restless, he decides to grab your things for you.

He suspects that you won't be leaving the hospital for a long time, even after you wake. And he wants you to be comfortable, as much as you can be at least, knowing what he does now. It's easy enough to find your apartment key in and among your discarded clothes, and with a gentle kiss to your feverish cheek, he makes his way for your home.

He hasn't been here in a long time, as consumed with Hextech and life as he's been. The building looks mostly the same, new plants are hanging from the balconies, and he thinks some of the furniture in the lobby has been changed. The stairs are brutal on him as he climbs, suddenly reminded of why it was always you coming over to his place instead of the other way around.

The key slots into the lock, and with a twist he's stepping inside.

He nearly falls over at the sight.

Your apartment is a disaster.

It's unlike anything he's ever seen from you, before. A massive pile of unopened letters sits beside your front door. Papers and notes and stacks of journals and books are all over the floor and tables, dishes are piled up high enough to nearly touch your cabinets, everything is covered in a heavy coating of dust, and as he traverses deeper into your home, the worse it gets. Dirty clothes strewn about, cushions tossed on the floor, doors and drawers left open and forgotten.

You'd always been so cleanly, going so far as to fuss over Viktor when his home wasn't spotless.

You've been hurting so long, how could he have never noticed?

Tears prick his eyes again, casting the world in blurry wetness as he fights the urge to breakdown in your too quiet apartment.

Get your things, get them and go, go.

He grabs what few clean clothes and underwear he can find, and several pairs of socks, fearing you'd get cold. He takes your favorite book, and some snacks he finds in your sparse fridge, as well as your favorite blanket- which you stole from him.

He searches through your rooms, seeing if he can spot anything you'd like while you stay there, and that's when he finds them- the notes.

A massive board slapped against the wall of your office, there are dozens, possibly hundreds of notes and papers and torn out sections from books all over the entire thing, done up in string and written over in your distinct handwriting. On the desk below it are what appear to be prototypes, very rough, but not without merit, and a visible great deal of love.

It appears to be some sort of cylindrical device, with a cannister on one side and an open mouth on the other, there's a button in the very center. He aims it away, his curiosity egging him on, and when he presses it a fine mist he assumes to be water sprays out heavily.

Gently, he sets the things he scrounged together on the floor, and sits at your desk enrapturing himself in your notes, your smell, you. Easing the pain in his chest, letting him forget for the briefest moments where you are, and what's happened to you.

He's in awe, by the time he's finished reading through. A prototype treatment for the Gray. Not perfect, not a cure- but you were in medicine, not infrastructure, and therefore there'd be no fixing the Gray at it's root for you.

But this..?

This was magnificent.

He's still examining the apparatus, making his own notes and mulling over improvements in his mind when the sight of an open letter catches his eye. The only one you've bothered to touch, out of hundreds..?

It's made of tattered and cheap paper, and the moment he touches it he can see the distress. Ink is smeared from wetness- from tears, and the paper is creased heavily on the sides, where fingers dug in.

"Hey there, kid.

I'm sorry it has to come to you like this. I wish it could be in any other way.

He's gone. He's been fighting the Gray for awhile now, but he didn't make it. We're putting him next to your parents, if you want to come.

I'm sorry, again.

Averness."

Suddenly, everything seems to slot into place for Viktor.

Your brother.

He grinds out a low, pitiful sob, and presses the letter to his forehead. The tears roll freely, and he feels angry, angry, angry. Absolutely livid, furious to the point of being mute. Why did this have to happen to you? Why now? Why did the world punish so harshly, a woman so good?

Why did he have to call your work stupid, as if it weren't the most beautiful, honorable pursuit he could think of?

Why did that have to be the last-

He hiccups on his tears, and the letter tumbles to your desk, he pulls both of his hands up, knuckles pressing into his eyes as he moans with grief, hunched over and rocking himself slowly. The sorrow rocks him down to his core, intense in a way that makes his stomach ache and his lungs burn.

Every time he manages to gasp in a breath, it's stolen right out from him again, dragging with it his pathetic whines of heartache.

He needs to breathe, he's panicking. He has to stop. He has to be there for you.

He grips the back of your chair tight enough for his knuckles to turn white and he just gasps at the air, forcing himself back down, forcing the emotions into a tiny little box for him to deal with later.

He doesn't know how long he's there, but the sun is far lower than it'd been when he first stepped foot in your office.

He whispers an apology to that empty room, hoping that perhaps those walls could forgive him, if he never got the chance to ask for it from you.

———

You wake after a week and a half.

He's taken to whispering to you, reading your book until his throat hurt and talking to you about anything, everything. His work, his plans, his childhood, his regrets.

He confesses some things to you, sleeping there like his wilted angel.

It breaks him, just a little, that the first time he ever gets to tell you 'I love you', you're too weak and too ill to hear him.

He's laying beside you, now. His leg protesting having to be bent in a chair any longer, he'd whispered to you that he hopes you don't mind the intrusion as he stretched out, and he ignores the pitying looks he gets from the nurses that check on you, seeing the way he pets your hair and nuzzles against your temple with his nose.

Your eyes crack open ever so slightly, and the world is a blur.

You feel...well you feel like you fell off a cliff.

Trying to move is awful, and you're distantly aware of someone beside you. Someone who notices you're awake.

His hand is on your face, suddenly, or maybe not suddenly and you're just losing the ability to focus- he's tilting your head gently to him, and through your barely open eyes, you see gold.

God, his eyes have always been so beautiful to you. Like embers, or fireflies.

Viktor flushes pink, and you hear him, softly. "Thank you..."

"Oh..." he watches you bat your eyes slowly, "did I... say that out loud..?"

His heart flips, warm within your accidental confession.

"Yes, you did."

You smile, sleepy and drugged, and Viktor wants to kiss you, desperately. His brain is still screaming, reeling with the fact you're awake, you're here, you're alive.

His voice comes out a little desperate, as he says your name.

Your wandering eye comes back to him, and your breath hitches at how sad he looks.

"I am... so sorry, for the things I said. I-" he looks down at the bed for a moment, and then up at you. "I've spent all this time thinking of how I'd make things better, if you woke. How I'd fix this, how I'd never make such egregious mistakes again.

Your work is wonderful... That you help ease peoples issues directly, no matter how small, there is no greater pursuit. And the- the contraption for treating the Gray..? You're revolutionary."

You part your lips to speak, but he's still going, speeding up, trying to force it all out before he loses his nerve.

"You're beautiful, and wonderful, and everything I have ever wanted, and I have spent years of my life being a coward and hiding that from you. I'm sorry for becoming so possessive, so controlling... Seeing you so sick, so fragile, it terrified me. I did not- and do not- know what I would do, without you in my life.

I-" You're staring at him, eyes as wide as you can force them as the truth of what he's saying settles into your foggy brain.

"-I love you, beautiful."

Immediately, you're crying.

Viktor shushes you, gently, thumb brushing away your tears as you move with all your might to nuzzle in against him, to express physically what you don't have the energy to say. You look back up at him, and press your mouth to his, gentle and fleeting.

"Love you, too..." You sniffle, and Viktor can't hold his own heartache back, any longer.

"Why didn't you tell us... Tell me..? Your heart... your brother..." He holds your face as he whispers it.

"No point..." you shake your head sluggishly, even as tears prick your eyes, thinking of what you lost. "Nothing...to be done about it... Just enjoy...what I had left with you...without seeing you so sad..."

The tears spill freely as he kisses you, slower this time, lingering on your being there with him. One hand falls to rest over your heart, to feel you beat for him, warm and alive.

You sigh when his tongue swipes against your lips, and then he backs away ever so slowly, to look you in the eyes.

"We're going to save you, I'm going to save you, if it's the last thing I do. I promise."

Your hand falls over his, and you squeeze gently.

Already, schematics are rolling through his mind, things that hypothetically wouldn't be so dangerous for your heart. He would save you. He would have you. He would love you.

Someday, he'd convince you of your worth, your talent, your beauty. This world was terribly cruel to you, so he would be your warmth.

You both would grow old and grey together, happy and blissful. Of that he was sure.

You were his beautiful fighter, you would survive.

"I love you." You say again, warmer and more clearly.

"And I love you... my moon, my stars."

You curl into him, eyes fluttering shut. For once, you don't fight your exhaustion, and you drift to sleep.

#viktor #viktor x reader #arcane #viktor arcane #arcane x reader #viktor league of legends #viktor lol #my fic #requests

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p-artsypants · 4 years

Text

Longest Night (46) Dancing

Ao3 | FF.net

It rained the night of Mayor Bourgeois’ ball. An ill omen if you were to ask Marinette or Adrien. Their first night being reintroduced into proper society, and it rained.

A limo had been sent to the bakery, so that the guests of honor could arrive in style. Alya and Nino had shown up early, also invited because of their hero status, not that any event planners besides Chloe knew.

Gabriel had really outdone himself. Though the designs were based on sketches from Marinette, he had taken them to a whole new level. “So you,” he had said. “It’s perfect, just for you!”

The champagne dress with exposed back and high slit leg hadn’t felt ‘like her’ at all. Of course it was gorgeous, and it was a beautiful dress. The iridescent silk changed colors as she moved, drawing all eyes to her. Maybe in another life, when Ladybug hadn’t been defeated, she’d feel more deserving of the dress.

As it stood, the low back just showed her scars, and made her feel exposed. ‘Wear them like a badge of honor.’ Gabriel had said, ‘you survived, you’re here. You’re stronger than anyone else in that room.’

And yet, as she stood looking herself over in the mirror, she couldn’t help but feel self-conscious.

Ugly.

The door to the bathroom opened and closed, her husband entering. Gabriel hadn’t spared him from the ‘wear your scars with pride’ treatment either. The white shirt under his suit only buttoned up to his sternum, allowing the scar from his rib surgery to be seen. He was just lucky his skin graft scars were hidden under the deep gray suit.

“You look beautiful,” Adrien said, looking at her with adoration.

“I don’t think so.” She brushed her hair once again. It was still too short to really do anything with, so she had opted to let Alya curl it. With all of her nervous tugging and pulling, the curls were turning into waves, and would soon be flat.

Adrien rested a hand on her bare shoulder, kissing her scarred neck. “I’ve always found you beautiful, Marinette. No amount of dirt or scars could change that.”

“Well, what about everyone else? What will they think?”

“Do you really care what everyone else thinks? Much less a bunch of stuffy, obnoxious politicians?”

“No…I suppose not. I just…if I get criticized at all, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it.”

“No one will criticize you. I happen to think the dress is very flattering on you.”

“The scars don’t ruin it?”

“No. If anything, they compliment it.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“Is it working?”

“I love you, Adrien Agreste. Thank you.” She bounced on her toes and pressed a delicate kiss to his lips.

There was a knock on the door, followed by Sabine’s voice. “Are you both ready? The party starts soon.”

“Better bite the bullet.”

They left the bathroom together, meeting up with the rest of the group downstairs in the bakery. Before leaving the apartment, Adrien grabbed an umbrella, and held it above his wife as she climbed into the limo.

The action felt familiar, as did his smile in doing so.

The ride to Le Grand Paris was pleasant. Alya and Nino gushed over the amenities in the car. “I’ve never ridden in a limo before! I feel so fancy!” Said Alya, as she sprawled out over one of the seats. There was plenty of room to do so.

“Would anyone care for some champagne?” Nino asked, in his fanciest poshest voice.

“You open that bottle, and I’ll tell your mother.” Sabine warned. “It’s not polite to get drunk before arriving at a party.”

“I’m glad you both got to come,” Marinette said, smoothly changing the subject. “This would be really boring without you.”

“Oh, we’re boring?” Tom asked, arms crossed.

“You know what I meant, Papa.” Marinette smiled at him.

Arriving at Le Grand Paris, you would have thought they were arriving at a movie premier. The door to the limousine opened and there was a series of flashes from the paparazzi.

Tom and Sabine went out first, followed by Nino and Alya, and then finally, Adrien and Marinette stepped out under the umbrella.

“Did you design the dress yourself?”

“Did Gabriel design your outfits?”

“Are you wearing someone else?”

Clothing. They were all asking about the clothing. That was something she could handle. Adrien was right. The dress was flashy, and eye catching, and that’s all anyone was going to talk about.

The alternative was not polite for such an occasion.

They were led through the lobby, into the elevator, and upstairs into the ballroom.

Before the elevator doors even opened, she could hear the crowd, a garbled mess of voices and laughter. Her heart rate increased.

Then the doors opened, and they stepped into the room.

All eyes seemed to land on her and Adrien, as guests clapped for their arrival. She wasn’t able to do anything but stand there. Stand there frozen and staring, not even smiling. These guests were here to pay her respect and honor, but by god it was the worst experience of her life.

Over and over, her gaze flitted to face after face in the crowd, barely recognizing them for a second. These were strangers, people she never would have known, except for one tiny little detail.

Some of them, she had murdered.

She had seen their faces only once before, in her memories, last breaths, screams of agony.

And they were clapping for her.

Did they not remember? Or were they pretending? Were they hiding and plotting? Were she and Adrien in danger?

Then Chloe was there, in her bee-themed dress, loud and bright and inviting. “Adrikins! Maripoo! You’re here!”

She never would have said this before, but thank God Chloé was here.

She weaseled between them, hooking an arm through both of theirs. “Come on, I’ll show you to your table!”

It was right in front of the dance floor, which was vacant for now. A small symphonic band played beautiful music, filling the hall with the sort of ambience only seen in Disney movies.

Gabriel and Emilie were already at the table.

“Oh Marinette!” Emilie cooed. “You look absolutely gorgeous! Gabriel insisted on keeping this dress a surprise from me and I have been dying to see it!” She played with the long piece of flowing fabric over Marinette’s shoulder. “I love the purple undertones! It perfectly matches your lipstick!”

“Thank you, Madam Agreste.”

“And look at you!” She immediately went to her son. “My handsome man! Oh! You’re so grown up!” She rested a hand on his cheek. “Before I fell asleep, you were a little shorter than me. Now...now I have to look up at you.”

Adrien looked away from her, a pain in his chest.

“Sorry, I just...got swept up in emotion. That suit fits you like a dream.”

Then she was onto the next target. “Oh Sabine!”

Now that they were in public, Adrien’s voice disappeared again. But Marinette could read his expressions like an open book. “The suit makes you look older. Of course it would stand out.”

He nodded in understanding, letting the resentment go. He had no reason to be angry with his mother. He just constantly had to remind himself until it stuck.

They both took a seat at the table. Obviously, people were schmoozing around and rubbing elbows. But the schmoozers could come over here if they were so inclined.

Next to Marinette sat her parents, and next to Adrien sat Nino and Alya, while Gabriel and Emilie sat on the other side. Chloe sat at the table next to them, just an arm’s length away from Adrien.

So they were surrounded by mostly trustworthy people. The jury was still out on Gabriel, but he had at least shown that his harm was unintentional.

They had to be prepared for the worst if someone in the room decided to go for revenge.

Of course, now that their identities were out in the open and the party planners were somehow educated on kwamis (probably thanks to Chloé) there was a small doll sized table in the middle of their table, fitted with two chairs and settings.

“Oh, that’s cute. Tikki, Plagg, you can join us.”

The Kwamis peeked out of Adrien’s jacket, where they had hunkered down for the night.

“Oh don’t mind if I do!” Sang Plagg, as he took his seat. “I demand cheese cubes!”

Tikki was only a beat behind. “Behave yourself Plagg, this is a very fancy event.”

“And we are the guests of honor,” he said snottily. “While Adrien and Marinette are the brains and bodies, we are the brawn. So we get just as many accolades as them!”

“Selfish.” Tikki drawled.

A waiter appeared at the table. “Dinner is still a ways out, but can I get drinks or hors d'oeuvres for anyone?”

“Your finest cheese cubes, my good man! And keep them coming until I fall out of this chair!”

“Yes, of course Mr. Black Cat.”

Gabriel ordered a white wine for the table, while Marinette just asked for water for her and Adrien.

“It’s alright,” said Sabine. “You can have a glass of wine. It’s a special occasion.”

“I appreciate that, but I need to be alert. Just in case.”

Sabine heaved a little sigh, disappointed, but understanding. “Alright. Just try to have a little fun, okay?”

Marinette looked over the crowd again, subtlety trying to see who was watching her.

Considering this was her first public appearance as Ladybug, there were quite a few.

“Did you need something Miss Dupain-Cheng?” A waiter asked.

“Oh…no, no just—just looking.”

“Alright, don’t hesitate to flag us down if you need something.”

“Thank you.”

He cheerfully filled up her water cup before scurrying off.

Before Marinette could get lost in her scouring, she was interrupted by Gabriel. “Adrien, will you come with me a moment? There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

Adrien stood from his seat with hesitation. Even now, at an event like this, Gabriel wanted him to rub shoulders with business folk? Maybe not, and so his curiosity propelled him on into following.

“Should I come too?” Marinette asked.

“No no, just…just relax Marinette.”

Ah, so this was one of his business associates. Well, he’d humor his father this once, and see what this was all about.

They crossed the room, coming upon a group of laughing men, all in expensive suits with expensive wine in hand, with expensive watches on their wrists, and fattened with expensive foods.

Adrien immediately felt out of place.

“Adrien, this is M. Mercier. He’s the lawyer handling your case with Salo.”

“Hello there, kiddo.” The man grasped his hand tightly and shook. “Nice to formally meet! Of course, your father and I have been in contact for a long time. Don’t worry, we have everything under control.”

Well. That was good. It wasn't as if he had to testify or re-hash anything he had been through. It was all recorded.

“And this is M. Chevrolet, he works on the Board at Gabriel. One of the primary stockholders.”

“We met when you were just a boy,” he clarified with a tight handshake. “But you were so busy with modeling, there was really no reason for us to chat. But now that that avenue is closed, I’ve been working on finding you a position in the company. One that wouldn’t require too much investment, so you can come home to your wife at night.” He smiled. “And well, since college isn’t in the future either, it might not be exactly lucrative, but you are a stockholder, as Gabriel’s son. Of course, you could always fall back into superheroing, if you think you could.”

Was this man…mocking him?

“Adrien hasn’t ever specified if he was interested in college or not,” Gabriel said calmly. “But I do thank you for looking out for him. He and Marinette have been…apprehensive about the future.”

“Oh of course they have.”

That tone, no matter how well intended, made Adrien bristle. He didn’t have to take this. He didn’t need to be polite.

He tapped his wrist, an indication he needed meds.

“Alright, you can go back.” His father excused, absently.

As Adrien turned to leave, he could hear M. Chevrolet say, “You know, he’s not going to get anywhere not speaking. He’ll be lucky if I can get him in as a janitor.”

He hurried his paces back to the table, gnawing on his lip and trying not to cry.

Before he got half-way there, a hand reached out and grabbed his wrist.

He jumped, yanking his wrist free, and stood prepared to fight.

A woman looked at him with shock and horror. “Oh my goodness! Mr. Agreste, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you, I just wanted to get your attention.”

Adrien relaxed into a stance a normal person would take. He then noticed there was a little girl sitting at the table next to the woman. The girl’s face was badly scarred, and she wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“This is my daughter, Adrianne.” The woman smiled. “She…she was in the same place as you. My ex-boyfriend owed that woman some money…and she took Adrianne as ransom. Because you and Ladybug escaped, the police were able to find her and bring her home. So…I just wanted to say thank you.”

“Thank you Chat Noir.” Said Adrianne. She was so quiet, it was almost lost in the crowd. But he heard it, and that’s all that mattered.

Adrien crouched, getting eye level with the girl, and gently rested a hand on her head, petting her hair in a way that he enjoyed too. The girl smiled up at him, face full of respect and adoration.

He mimicked the action of typing on a phone.

“My phone? Uh, here…” Said the woman.

Adrien put in his contact information, and whispered Adrianne, right in her ear. “If you need anything, just text me. Chat Noir and Ladybug will help.”

Then, Adrianne’s subdued smile doubled, turning bright and warm. It warmed his chest, and gave him hope.

—

Marinette kept on a firm alert. It was hard not to panic, with the discovery she had just made, but the fear twitched her fingers. She needed to find Adrien and get out of here, but she couldn’t give away what knowledge she’d learned.

A man, just a table over, had a gun concealed. She saw it as he reached forward for a glass of water, and she was trying not to stare.

But she did.

A very rational part of her brain told her he was probably a police officer, and it was no big deal. But she had killed police officers during her rage, and their vow to protect and serve didn’t prevent thoughts of revenge.

Once Adrien came back, she’d steer him towards the elevator, and they’d make a break for it. They had appeared. They didn’t owe anyone anything else.

As she cast her glance over the room, she missed her target moving. “Uh, excuse me?” He asked.

Marinette turned, wide eyed and horrified to see the man standing beside her.

He knelt to get on her level. “Sorry, I Uh...I just wanted to check in with you. I saw you looking at my gun. I’m with the police. I’m here because I worked on your case, but I’m also on security.”

Oh, she knew who he was. Now that she had a good look at him, she recognized him from the last time they met.

“I stabbed you. At the Police station...I stabbed you with a lance...I killed you.”

“Yeah, you sure did.” He laughed nervously.

She shut her eyes tightly, swallowing the bile in her throat.

“But,” the man continued. “So did Stoneheart, and Glaciator, and Siren, and Frozer. There were probably a couple others. Being on the force in Paris with Akumas is always a gamble. But, I’m back. Ladybug always brings me back.”

“I’m sorry...”

“I forgive you. I haven’t held it against any other Akuma, so why would it be different for you?”

“I...I just...” there was so much relief, she couldn’t find the words to say. She wanted to apologize for being suspicious of him.

“I’ll be right over there. If anyone tries anything, we’ll handle it. I mean, of course Ladybug and Chat Noir are more than capable of handling anything...the chief just wants you to be able to relax. So, relax. Okay, Miss Ladybug?”

Marinette allowed herself to take a calming breath and smile. “Thank you. I think I will.”

It was only a minute or two before Adrien returned, looking less than happy.

“Is everything alright?”

He didn’t respond to her question, but offered a hand out to her.

She took it, and allowed him to help her out of her seat. He led her to the dance floor, and wrapped his arm around her waist while he held the other in his own.

Then, he began to lead her in time with the music.

“We’re the only ones dancing,” she commented astutely.

“Yes. Everyone knows it’s rude to interrupt a dancing couple.”

“Who’d your father want you to meet?”

“Some rich assholes.”

“Just as I thought.”

Adrien guided her out into a twirl, and the band began to play just a little louder. Just for them.

“There’s a little girl here, Adrianne.” Adrien said. “She was held prisoner like us. You should say hi to her when we get the chance. I gave her my number, in case she needed anything.”

“I’m glad. I would like to meet her.” A quick turn, and her long skirt flailed outwards in a glittering pinwheel. “There’s security guards here with guns, in case anyone tries any funny business. I was told we could relax.”

“I am relaxed,” Adrien assured. “This is the most relaxed I can get nowadays.”

“I feel the same.”

“But I feel better here with you.”

“Because I’m tough and I’ll kick anyone’s ass?”

“Yes.” He chuckled. “Exactly.”

The band lulled into something a little slower, to Tchaikovsky’s Valse Sentimentale, so that Adrien could bring her a little closer, chest to chest. The slow pull of the strings allowed them pause, to hold each other without anyone thinking it was anything other than dancing.

“Do your feet hurt?” He whispered.

“No. Are you okay?”

“I’m wonderful, my lady.”

“Good. We never got to have a first dance at our wedding.”

“I suppose we can count this for now.” He hummed. “But I want a real wedding first. One that I’m happy for, and I get to see you in a pretty white dress.”

“This is just practice then,” she amended. “So we can get used to dancing in front of people.”

“I think our battles were a little like dancing, we worked in tandem all the time.”

“When we weren’t getting tangled in my yo-yo.”

“You got better. I secretly think you wanted to be close to me.”

“Subconsciously, way deep inside.”

“Glad I finally got you to admit it.”

“Only to you, love.”

When they finally decided to sit back down, there was some faint applause from the room.

“You guys are the definition of adorable,” Said Alya, as Adrien helped Marinette take her seat.

“Thank you. It’s fun dancing with a twirly skirt.”

“I got it on video, if you want it later.”

“Thanks Al.”

From there, it was smooth conversation. Gabriel didn’t try to introduce anyone else to them, and Marinette actually found herself beginning to relax.

The lights dimmed, and Mayor Bourgeois took the podium.

“Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, today we are here to pay respect to the heroes of our city, Ladybug and Chat Noir!”

There was a resounding applause from the crowd.

“There is no doubt of your strength and courage. Heroes you were, heroes you will always be. Know that every moment you suffered, we were right there with you, hearts breaking, and voices full of prayers. Hundreds of brave men and women put their lives and families on the line to do what it took to bring you home. Tonight, we want to thank them for their hard work.”

Marinette closed her eyes, a pain in her gut. Now she would come face to face with the numbers. All the people that died trying to save them? Or was she thanking all the people that failed?

By time she came out of her thoughts, there was a woman up at the podium. “…the brave men and women that were assigned to this case, that spent hours analyzing footage and clues to try and get a lead. It was the most exhausting case the bureau has undertaken to date…”

Marinette crossed her arms, but tried not to show her disdain. What was she supposed to say? Thanks for trying?

“Every day, our hearts broke a little more for our heroes…”

She heard Adrien sigh behind her.

Soon, another man took the podium. This time, she did catch a name, Arthur Vanderguard, Minister of Interior. The last time she had seen him, he had been dangling off the edge of a building, Chat’s claws in his neck being the only thing separating him from a nasty fall.

He looked right at them. “Marinette, Adrien, thank you for coming to our little dinner. It hasn’t been that long since you got out, about you’re both looking well. On behalf of the police department, the city of Paris, and France itself, I’m truly sorry for failing you.”

That was not what she was expecting. These bureaucrats had all gotten up and talked about how hard it was for them, but patting themselves on the back for their hard work anyways. For someone, especially the Minister of Interior, to admit they failed?

It was unfathomable.

“We did try hard. But in the end, Hawkmoth had to step up to the plate. That’s humbling. Someone our city has been fighting for years in the one to fix our mess. We were fighting a war on both sides. The war to save the innocent, and the war to protect the ones we love. Your bravery and strength supersedes that of all of Paris. You endured pain we can’t imagine, even with the footage we saw. And when you escaped, you went out and talked some sense into us. Into me. I was afraid of Edward Savauge and Salo. And that fear prevented me from doing my job. But not anymore. Because of your actions, I and everyone once that were being blackmailed by them are free to do our jobs the way we’re supposed to. The way we vowed we would from the beginning. So, Ladybug, Chat Noir, I owe you an apology, and a sincere thank you. Despite everything, all your pain, all the trauma, you still managed to make Paris a better place. You truly are heroes, and I sincerely hope that you’ll continue to watch over us in one way or another. Thank you.”

The apology washed over her like fresh water on a hot day. After what she had done to the officials of the city, she was certain she owed them one instead. She underestimated the effect Lady Lacrima had had.

Mayor Bourgeois was back at the podium. “Of course, there is one more person we’d like to hear from tonight. The foundation of hope in Paris, resilient, brave, and strong. The Lady of the hour, Ladybug!”

Marinette tensed up as the crowd clapped.

“Did you know you were speaking?” Asked Alya.

“No! No, I had no idea! I don’t know what to say! Alya—“

But a strong hand clasped her shoulder as Adrien stood, taking her place.

“Adrien?”

He just kissed her forehead. Then he tugged on Chloe’s pigtail and gestured to her to follow.

“Err, Chat Noir, everyone!” The Mayor corrected, as Adrien made his way to the podium.

He took the mic off the stand and handed it to Chloe.

“What am I supposed to say?” She hissed.

He shook his head, and then went over to the grand piano, silently asking to have a seat.

The pianist scuttled off, giving him the bench. Adrien moved Chloe’s arm so she was holding the mic in front of his mouth.

Then he began to play.

Just a chord at a time. High, low, high, low. Slow, and droning.

Then he began to sing, with a voice soft and full of the grit of silence.

So far from who I was

From who I love

From who I want to be

There were gasps all around the room, shocked to hear him not just speak, but sing.

So far from all our dreams

From all it means

From you here next to me

“Is this the song he was working on?” Whispered Nino.

“I think so…”

So far from seeing home

I stand out here alone

Am I asking for too much?

Watching his face, Adrien had closed his eyes, and furrowed his brows in concentration. He was putting everything into this.

So far from being free

Of the past that's haunting me

The future I just can't touch

His voice broke, not conditioned for singing, and so filled with sincerity.

And if you take my hand

Please pull me from the dark

And show me hope again

He looked up and over to Marinette, holding her gaze, like she was the only person in the room. And to him, she was.

We'll run side-by-side

No secrets left to hide

Sheltered from the pain

The song faded out with the final chord, and he stood. The applause was overwhelming, and he bobbed his head in gratitude. As he made his way back over to the table, Marinette stood to greet him, throwing her arms around his neck.

“Thank you for saving me, Kitty.”

“I thought if someone was giving us the opportunity to speak, I ought to make it worthwhile.”

Marinette kissed him then, right on the lips and unashamed of being seen by anyone.

The rest of the meal went smoothly. Marinette and Adrien were allowed to remain at their table, only occasionally being bothered by other guests, but mostly just basking in the fancy atmosphere and good company. Even Gabriel was on good behavior. Though he did occasionally sneak looks at Adrien throughout the meal.

It wasn’t until they got back to the bakery, Gabriel and Emilie included, that things took a turn.

“Adrien, do you mind if I have a word?” Gabriel asked, as the rest headed upstairs.

Emilie and Marinette both hesitated, and stayed just out of sight, eavesdropping.

Adrien had a hunch he knew what was about to happen, and only clenched his fist to hold himself back.

“Your behavior tonight was inappropriate.” Gabriel began.

Adrien’s nostrils flared, but he remained quiet.

“You snubbed two very important people that only wanted to help you. It was not an appropriate time to dance with Marinette, especially since I had other people I wanted you to talk to, and you deeply insulted Mayor Bourgeois with that performance. He put on this dinner for you and Marinette, the least you could have done was thank him for it. Instead, you treated this like one of your high school parties. All eyes were on you, and consequently, all eyes were on me.”

“I’ve heard enough!” Emilie snapped, coming around the corner.

“Now dear—“

“Don’t you ‘now dear’ me!” She sent a perfectly manicured hand into his cheek. “How dare you, Gabe! Is this how you talked to him after I left? Is this normal for you?!”

Adrien rested a hand on her shoulder. “Mom, I’ll take it from here.”

Both Agreste’s snapped their jaws shut at his tone. At his voice.

Marinette peeked around the corner, just visible enough for comfort and support.

“Father, I don’t need your criticisms anymore. I know perfectly well how to behave at an event. I left the conversation with your ‘important men’ because they were patronizing me. I didn’t appreciate it. I left in the most civil way I could, but I’ve been through too much to be treated like that. I’m not stupid, and I’m not weak. I’m just as capable as anyone else. Maybe more so.” He breathed deep, being spurred on by the attentive look on Gabriel’s face. He wasn’t angry, he was just listening. “I wanted to dance with my wife. I saw an opportunity, and I took it. No one else seemed to mind. And, that song I performed I wrote myself, in isolation. Marinette wasn’t prepared to speak, but I knew my song would convey everything that needed to be said.” He nodded once. “There. I explained myself. Are you happy now?”

Gabriel Agreste didn’t smile. Not really. The closest he got was a slight twitch of his lips. And that’s what he did. “Yes. I am.”

Adrien blinked. “You are?”

“Yes. Thank you for explaining to me. I misunderstood your behavior. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

Adrien almost cried then. Both from shock and relief.

“It was a very lovely song, by the way. I think it did get the point across.”

“Th…thank you, Father.”

“You’re welcome.” He squeezed his arm. “Now come along, I believe Sabine is making coffee for us.”

Adrien’s song is ‘So Far’ by Olafur Arnalds.

#miraculous ladybug #ml #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrinette #ladybug #chat noir #ladynoir #fanfiction #longest night

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ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa · 4 years

Text

You can’t possibly come in a T-rex costume to your own wedding

crackfic taken very seriously, pairing: saiouma, words: 1813

from orginal tags: Wedding Planing, how did it spiral down to that, Slice of Life, I should not have taken the wedding prompt, The Author Regrets Everything, except for the “do you ever wonder about...” but this is the part that you will hate

I don’t even know for what event I’ve made the T-rex trilogy anymore, but enjoy

No. No way. This is not an option. No. Stupid. He can't possibly be actually considering that. Momota must have been trying to prank him and he will not fall for that. His relationship with Shuichi is the one thing he can't afford to fuck up. This includes their wedding day, it has to be perfect, no foolishery that could destroy that, definitely not a T-rex costume. Not in a thousand years, even if he already had one and maybe deep down would want to wear it on big occasions instead of a boring suit, not on the wedding.

He had to admit it at least to himself. All of his life he's been a clown, never a serious person, there was a lot of dumb and irresponsible things he did just for the hell of it. That's the part of him that Momota knew, but there was more. Something he definitely wouldn't show in front of others. That is - he cared about Shuichi. A lot. It wasn't just some sort of fascination, they wouldn't be getting married if it was about curiosity or the looks, that could have been what initially brought them together. Now he couldn't imagine life without the other.

The years they spend together, it was already eight that they knew each other and five of dating. So much time is bound to change a person. Their beginings were... shaky, both of them had issues and they were still in high school at the time, so nobody believed they would last. But they learned from all the misunderstandings, fights and especially that one time when they techinically broke up, but made up soon after, if nothing else, then that incident surely taught them to communicate with each other. Therefore, what Momota was trying to tell him really didn't make sense. He was not only telling him that Shuichi was into dressing up as a dinosaur, he was telling him that he accidentaly discovered something Shuichi was hiding even from him and that it would be a good idea to use this knowledge to make a "nice" surprise for Shuichi and wear said costume to their wedding.

He took in a deep breath, whether Momota was serious or trying to prank him or whatever, he didn't have the strenght to think deeper into it, but at the same time he had to hold in the urge to punch that idiot. He thought that by know they were over their conflicts from school years or at least that Momota valued his friendship with Saihara enough to respect his relationship with Ouma, but apparently not. Doing something like this would obviously make him look like he wasn't serious about the marriage and most likely tear them apart and yet the astronaut had the gall to suggest him doing that. It was disrespectful to Shuichi's privacy (if it was true), too.

Masking his anger with a fake smile he promised to himself that he's going to hold on to that grudge, perhaps trash the guy's wedding when the time comes, assuming that he ends up having the balls to propose... it's more likely that Harukawa will, it was clear who's wearing pants in that relationship. For now, he told him that he'll "think about it" and that "it could be fun". Which, little did the spaceman know, was a code for "I'm gonna talk about it with Shuichi as soon as I can and avoid any and all unnecessary drama you could cause with this ploy."

Feeling mentally exhausted after Momota left he sat dawn on the couch and sighed. How was he going to approach the subject?

It could be said that Momota was always there, technically they all knew each other since the beginning of high school, but Kokichi was distant for the first two years while the other two became friends right away. It was obvious that Shuichi considered him a dear friend, it would be wrong to start with accusing the guy of having ill intent. It would be just cruel and unnecessery, they already had arguments about Ouma not mixing well with his boyfriend's friend group in the past, it resolved with an agreement that they don't have to like each other's friends, it's enough if they don't fight over them.

They both have their own judgement and free will, it's a part of trusting your partner to let them be and don't be forceful about who they should hang out with. Controlling behavior is such a big red flag and they were above that. Yeah, jealousy on his part and wanting people he cared about to get along on Shuichi's side started the argument, but what they did was talk it out. So yeah, implying that perhaps Momota wanted to sabotage their wedding was not an option. It would make him the asshole who made Shuichi choose between who's side to take.

He didn't want to accept that, but he knew what he had to do. Looks like his plans for the evening just got interesting.

Busy as a bee,it was usual for Saihara to come back late, but recently he was trying to come back home earlier, but the part that worried his soon to be husband that it was not to rest, did he ever? He was coming home to do more work related to wedding preparations or he was sneaking his real job in, Kokoichi was doing his best trying to stop the latter, knowing that this workaholic habit has to stop and made sure he had equal share of the first one. Actually, they tried to do most things together, when it came to the wedding it was of great importance to them for everything to be mutually agreed upon. They mastered the art of compromising a long time ago and knew their preferences well enough, which could cause people to wrongly assume it would be a piece of cake.

Bad wording. The thought of cake made him slightly nauseus. How many cakes you have to try before you pick one? How many places you have to see before you know which is the right one? How many designs of an invitation do you have to look throug before they make you choose between two nearly identical? What about decorations? Music? Having to learn the first dance? Panicking in the dressing room while trying on a suit, because you've seen the price and you don't deserve to wear it just as much as you don't deserve the love of your partner, but you can't stain this shit with tears and you start to doubt if the last five years was just a dream and you're gonna wake up being a teenager with nobody who'd care and acne again?

Do you ever wonder about those things?

Anyway. Shuichi coming home meant he had to get moving, today they had plans, they were going to visit his uncle to personally hand him the invitation. Good thing, that he lived close, but even better that not next door. Coming over for dinner was not a problem, but they had their privacy, it was perfect.

First though, he had to prepare a relaxing bath for Shuichi, he needs a break before continuing the day and won't give it to himself, so somebody else has. If the whole purpose wasn't for his fiance to rest, he'd gladly join him in it too, but maybe some other time.

Meeting partner's family seems to be the thing that always make people nervous, but reality is that after a while it becomes normal, it depends on how confident a person is, some people relax after making the first impression or maybe that just happens in books he read and it's normal to need more time like he did, but nonetheless it fades and eventually there's nothing to be nervous about, because at this point they'd either openly disapprove or started to treat you as a part of the family. For reasons unknown to him he got accepted and got called "son"which felt weird.

Today wasn't a typical visit, though, so a shred of familiar nervousness appeared. With how much of a big deal they did out of engagment everyone knew about them getting married, so technically it wasn't like they were breaking the news. Hell, he consulted with and asked for approval of Shuichi's uncle as the closest family he got before proposing. And yet it felt as if he was doing it for the second time. This time, thankfully there was Shuichi with him, it was always easier to face situations that challenged their insecurities together. Especially situations that stressed them both out, it boosted their protectiveness of each other and with the mutual support built they could face anything, even Shuichi's parents when they visited once. Speaking about them, they weren't invited.

He quickly realized that his worries were baseless, the man happily accepted the invitation and congratulated them, deep down he knew that he shouldn't expect any diffrent, but he still was relieved.

The rest of the evening passed in more relaxed atmosphere. They talked a bit more about details of the wedding and plans for the honeymoon - they were going to spend two weeks by the sea before coming back to the mundane life. During that conversation he managed to bring up the subject of costumes in a subtle way.

Casually, after taking a sip of his tea, he looked at Shuichi to see his reaction and dropped the bomb. "We could indulge in some untraditional aspects, for example apply a theme, some people pull that off pretty well, I've seen a couple get married on a boat with a Love Live theme or some others had everyone wear costumes and it was just stellar. Our is going to be rather small, roughly thirty people, so that would be doable."

He din't have to say that it's because there would be no one to come from his side as he's an orphan, it hung heavy in the air anyway, so he kept speaking to chase it away. It was impossible to tell if Shuichi's eyes widened because of the mention of costumes or at what his last sentence implied.

"It's just a random thought, since everything's decided by now and we kept it pretty simple, but it's such a special occasion that I understand wanting to have an extravagant wedding and even take said extravagance to another level, why not, it is once in a lifetime."

Shuichi didn't have any strong reaction to that and only asked if he's pointing at something in a tone that suggested nothing, it wasn't nervous at all and Shuichi sucked at hiding his emotions. The only possible conclusion was that he had no idea about the whole thing.

"Silly Shumai, I said it was a random thought, didn't I?"

#ndrv3 #danganronpa #saiouma #kokichi oma #shuichi saihara #crack taken seriously #made by me

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aeipcthys · 4 years

Text

╰ ❛ 💉 — › brenda song. cis-female. she/her. ╯ have you met margot moore yet ? this twenty nine year old virgo has been living in the seattle area for one month. she makes a living as executive assistant to the chief of surgery, which is best suited for their observant, loyal, picky, and judgmental personality. hold on by wilson phillips is one of their favorite songs.

trigger warnings: mental health, mental illness, bipolar disorder, racism, microaggressions, gambling addiction mention, addiction mention

full character page here

BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: margot moore

Nickname(s): moore

Age: 29

Date of Birth: august 23, 1992

Hometown: lake placid, florida

Current Location: seattle, washington

Ethnicity: hmong, thai

Nationality: american

Gender: cisgender female

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Orientation: she has only ever slept with men. that being said.......how y’all doing

Status: technically in a relationship

Religion: christian

Political Affiliation: democratic socialist

Occupation: executive assistant to the chief of surgery

Living Arrangements: she wants a roommate so if someone breaks into her apartment she won’t be the only target

Language(s) Spoken: english, hmong

Accent: american

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: brenda song

Hair Color: brunette

Eye Color: dark brown

Height: 5'2

Weight: 113 lbs

Build: slim

Tattoos: anchor, writing on her finger, cross on her knuckle, writing on her wrist, bee on her wrist, cross on her side, symbol on her wrist

Piercings: ears, cartilage

Clothing Style: cute, fashionable kind of thing

Usual Expression: resting bitch face probably

Distinguishing Characteristics: laugh

HEALTH

Physical Ailments: none.

Neurological Conditions: has a form of bipolar affective disorder, doesn’t talk about it much, and is strict about her medications

Allergies: none.

Sleeping Habits: sprawls out across her bed when she eventually passes out with the tv on

Eating Habits: vegetarian except when she’s not

Exercise Habits: she actually attends those soul cycle kind of classes, and is really into it, but she would definitely make fun of them to everyone else

Emotional Stability: 9.14

Sociability: chatty, definitely can be nice, often judgmental but with good intentions, will gossip with you

Body Temperature: runs cold yet often wears outfits she’ll definitely be cold in

Addictions: stupid dumb men

Drug Use: we’re not necessarily opposed, but not a regular thing

Alcohol Use: bottle of wine everyday when she gets home kinda thing

PERSONALITY

Label: tbd

Positive Traits: observant, loyal, analytical, hard-working,

Negative Traits: picky, judgmental (with love), cynical, bossy

Fears: people in mascot costumes

Hobbies: being tupperware for other people’s messes (i stole this from an astrology site but legit her okay), girl can internet stalk the HELL out of someone for you if need be

Habits: eavesdropping on conversations, accidentally cutting people off when she has a better idea, zoning out when a whole lot of boring is coming at her

FAVOURITES

Weather: if it’s not humidity, she’s cool

Colour: shades of peach

Music: anything she can dance to in her apartment or every once and a while something at her desk that would make lachlan uncomfortable

Movies: no movies, movies are long

Sport: uh

Beverage: wine

Food: too many things have been described as her favorite to keep track

Animal: no thanks

FAMILY

Father: cye moore

Mother: mai moore

Sibling(s): elias moore

Children: none.

Pet(s): n/a

Family’s Financial Status: middle class

EXTRA

Zodiac Sign: virgo

MBTI: estj

Anything Else:

BIO

Margot Moore grew up in Lake Placid, Florida...a very tiny place in the sunshine state. Lake Placid had a population of just about 2,000 people, and Margot felt the smallness of it all ever since she was young.

Her parents, Cye and Mai, were good and loving parents to Margot and her brother, Elias. Both her parents were immigrants to the United States, so they were among the many who worked tirelessly to provide a good and stable life for their children. Her father worked his way up to being a branch manager at a manufacturing company, and her mother worked at a bank. All in all, her life could be described as pretty normal.

However, growing up in Lake Placid wasn’t always a walk in the park. Lake Placid was a largely white town, and because it was small, everybody knew everybody. Which meant people talked. You never wanted to be on the wrong side of that talk. As she got older, Margot started to see that she looked different from a lot of her classmates. Her classmates noticed it too.

TW racism, microaggressions She began to experience racism and microaggressions at the hands of people who were her friends. A lot of it was unconscious, but there was a definite bias. Margot’s parents knew it too, but they didn’t want to rock the boat. They encouraged Margot to ignore it. To try and blend in as much as possible. So, that’s what Margot learned to do. She tried her best to just blend in with it all. She didn’t talk much about her family’s culture or traditions. She tried to make herself look more like her friends, even dying her hair blonde for a period of time to try and make herself into the ideal standard of beauty.

TW mental illness, mental health, bipolar disorder During this time, Margot also began to struggle with other things. Her mood swings were unpredictable. She experienced racing thoughts and an inability to focus. She started sleeping less and making some risky decisions. At first, Margot didn’t want to get help. She didn’t see a need. But when she started to fall back into a depressive episode during her junior year of high school, her parents said enough was enough. Margot started going to regular therapy appointments and met with a number of psychologists. She was diagnosed with a milder form of bipolar affective disorder, and she has been on medications ever since.

Margot has done extremely well keeping up with therapy and her medications. Therapy is the one thing she’ll never reschedule. Not even for work. Old habits die hard for Margot, though. It’s hard for her to talk about her mental illness because in her mind, this is just another thing that separates her from everyone else. And remember what her parents always said: assimilate.

Margot went on to college, and she had a strong desire to get herself out of Lake Placid. She decided to study business at the advise of her dad at the University of Central Florida, but it wasn’t something she was exactly passionate about. It was a thing to do while she enjoyed her college years. She wasn’t bad at it, she just didn’t give as much effort as she probably should have.

Out of college, Margot had little money of her own, but she was determined not to go back to Lake Placid to live with her parents. She started temping at an agency, and she would get moved around from business to business, mostly doing administrative work or bookkeeping. It wasn’t overly exciting, but it gave her some money to live off. Plus, Margot lived off of learning about each place she worked at...all of the office gossip and drama.

Somewhere in her post-grad life, Margot met Holden. Holden was, in fact, an idiot who probably had a (TW gambling addiction, addiction) gambling problem that Margot funds. Margot and Holden just kind of ended up together. It wasn’t that they were madly in love. They just kind of...stuck. Margot was the one who pretty much kept them alive. She for some reason has a soft spot for the dumb ones...it was the only thing that kept her from kicking him to the curb through the years. Their relationship isn’t solid, or even necessarily exclusive...it just kind of exists. And no one understands it.

When she was about 24 years old, Margot started temping at a private practice in Florida. This is where she soon met Lachlan Covington and Andrea Martinez. Both the doctors worked at the private practice, and Margot started actually liking her job. Of course, it was a temp job, so she had to work her magic. Sure enough, she was eventually able to persuade Lachlan into taking her on as an assistant.

Margot has been working for Lachlan ever since, and she’s built up a good friendship with Andrea. She was shocked when Andrea left for Seattle, and high key disappointed to see the couple split up. She always hoped they would be endgame. Margot stuck by Lachlan, but she often told him that he needed to get Andrea back. Because he did. Eventually, Margot watched Lachlan leave too. She initially had no intention of going with him, considering her life was all in Florida. However, after a few weeks him being gone, she realized how boring most of her other co-workers were. When he reached out to see if she’d come to Seattle, she said yes almost immediately. (She tried to be casual about it though). She assigned herself the title of executive assistant, just because she thought it sounded more important with the word executive in it.

Margot didn’t exactly break up with Holden before she left, and by the sounds of his texts, he may still think they’re still together. She’s just kind of letting that be for the time being. After all, they’ve been together for so long.

Margot is liking Seattle, but she hates living alone and is still trying to get her own lay of the land. She likes to have resources...people she can go to when she needs something, people she can squeeze information out of, the good restaurants she can order from and charge to the hospital credit card when Lachlan’s inevitably working late and she stays in solidarity...that kind of thing.

PLOTS

y’all know me open to anything

probably looking for: roommate!!! folks she always goes to for info, people to gossip with, a friend she often grabs lunch with, that one doctor she hates and always tells them that lachlan is in a meeting when really he’s completely free

#traumaintro #she was not meant to stand still ( margot moore. )#sup #( character intro. )

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honeylikewords · 4 years

Note

I would be remiss if I didn’t request anything for my beloved goon, Eddie ;3c Could I please request for him: Who brings the other lunch; takes care of the other on sick days; still cries watching Titanic; and who firmly believes in couples’ costumes? I love youuu ❤️ You Know Who Dis Bee

You Absolutely May Request These, You Dreadful Knave! I love you, too!

Who brings the other lunch?:

Eddie works a full-time job as a teacher; he doesn’t really have the luxury of being able to take his lunch break and go drive to where his wife is working and bring her lunch. He has to stay on campus and eat in his office or the teacher’s lounge, which really, truly stinks, in his humble opinion. That said, while Eddie can’t go bring his beloved bride lunch, he does provide for her in a different way: Eddie is the primary cook in the household.

Being something of a gourmet, Eddie has an affinity for the culinary arts and very much enjoys taking a few hours out of his weekend and evenings to prep lunches for himself and his wife.

It’s calming in a ritualistic sort of way: he’ll play music for himself and hum along as he dices vegetables and boils water, as he fries up this and sears off that, as he kneads and folds and tosses. He likes to have that time to make something nutritious and delicious for the one he loves; after all, what better way to show someone you love them than to provide them a meal made with love that fuels both their body and soul?

He’ll carefully package the lunch in cute little bento boxes or hand-decorated paper bags, and enjoys slipping in little love-notes and romantic scrawls for her to muse over when she has her midday meal. He likes to know she’s thinking of him as she eats, and likes to imagine them sharing the meal together, even though they’re far apart, sappy as that all may be.

Whenever she has the day off, though, Mrs. McCarthy likes to pop by Eddie’s office during his lunch break and bring him an extra treat, though he usually is so overjoyed to see her that he completely neglects to notice whatever she’s brought and spends the whole break doting on her and covering her in pecks and smooches (safely behind his locked office door).

Takes care of the other on sick days?:

It’s a pretty equal balance between them: they’re both loving, caring spouses who want to support their partner through sickness and health! Still, Eddie works at a high school-- a veritable hive of bacteria and germs-- and he ends up getting sick the most from students who pass their illnesses around like the collection plate on Sunday.

Because of this, Eddie has built a fairly solid immune system, but does end up catching something every now and then, so his wife has to take care of him when and where she can; if she’s able to, she likes to take the day off work and keep him company, watching his documentaries with him and stroking his sweaty hair, telling him everything will be just fine.

His favorite healing food is pho, so she’ll often run to pick that up for him, and watch him make his ridiculous health tonics of raw ginger and garlic with lemon juice and hot tea, mixed with these spices and those herbs, chugged down like Rocky’s raw eggs. She’s almost impressed until she smells his breath (but loves him anyway).

When she’s sick, Eddie has no qualms about nursing her back to health, doting on her all day. He’s quite affectionate and worries over her, fussing that she needs to take this-and-that remedy and procuring all kinds of vitamin supplements, cooking her up comforting meals like matzo ball soup and thai chicken noodle, often served with warm tea and cool sodas like Sprite or ginger ale.

He’s perfectly fine cuddling her when she’s sick-- he argues that no matter what, they live together, so if he’s going to catch what she has, he might as well catch it doing what he loves-- and will kiss her brow sweetly, not at all bothered by its sweaty dampness. He’s not off-put by her pallor nor her exhaustion, but saddened by it; he hates seeing his baby put out and weakened like this, and would do anything to make her feel better.

He also spoils her rotten by going out and buying her treats like refreshing specialty drinks, small bags of candy, movies, or plushies: anything to brighten her spirits when she is so low!

Still cries watching Titanic?:

Honestly? Edster.

Eddie gets very emotional about the very real loss of all those lives on that terrible night in 1912, and while the romance itself isn’t all that affecting for him, the thought of all those people-- young and old, rich and poor-- whose lives were so tragically ended sends him weeping.

Plus, he’s a sucker for period costuming.

Who firmly believes in couples’ costumes?:

Eddie.

As mentioned before in my Halloween post, Eddie has an affinity for costumes that bring people together and require coordination and effort. He loves that he can tell a story with himself and his wife as the medium, the actors, the representatives! It’s fun to work on a project like that with someone you love, and fun to dress up as something that works because you’re together, you know?

It makes him prideful as can be to strut around town with his wife on his arm, her dressed as Giselle and he as Prince Edward (yes, he knows they don’t end up together in the movie. No, he doesn’t care. He spent months making her a big, floofy dress and himself a handsome suit with puffed sleeves and they look fantastic together). He feels joyful and giddy to see their work come to fruition, and to see how unrelentingly beautiful his wife is in everything she wears and every moment she spends with him; every costume is a new angle to view her from, a new arc to her to discover, and he’s happy to play in character with her all day long.

Plus, it’s nice to have and excuse to wear his deliriously detailed costuming work out in public and get some recognition for it. Can you blame him?

Thank you for asking!

Prompts come from this list!

#messages #anonymous #gif warning #mr. mccarthy

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staroflightning · 5 years

Note

Cisco!! (character ask thing)

I love Cisco Ramon with my whole heart okay-

Sexuality headcanon: I headcanon Cisco as bi and trans!!

Otp: Killervibe. All the way

Brotp: Harry and Cisco, all the way. They have the BEST friendship. Barry and Cisco are a rlly cute brotp too.

Notp: Romantic Harrisco

First headcanon that pops into my head:

Man, I have so many Cisco headcanons

He has a hidden Twizzler stash somewhere in Star Labs, and as of yet, no one on Team Flash has found it. He and Caitlin have movie nights at Cisco’s apartment where he shows Caitlin all his favorite movies. He pops over to Earth-2 every once in a while to visit Harry and Jesse. He loves both Star Wars and Star Trek, but if he had to choose, he’d choose Star Wars. He loves comic books. When he designed Barry’s Flash suit, he pulled an all-nighter just thinking of ideas and sewing. He and Dante used to play Pokémon together when they were kids, but Dante grew out of it. Cisco’s parents are transphobic, and Cisco being trans is the reason why Dante is their favorite child. Dante used to be transphobic but he changed and eventually accepted Cisco as his little brother instead of his little sister. I also headcanon that Cisco has PTSD nightmares because he’s been through a lot of shit that would give him PTSD

Favorite line from this character:

I have a lot of favorite Cisco lines. I’m not gonna be able to list all of them, but here’s some that come to mind

“I’m Cisco Ramon. She’s Caitlin- I mean, Dr. Snow.” (His very first introduction!!)

“Bees. Why’d it have to be bees? Y’all, I don’t do bees, ain’t nobody got time for bees-”

“[Hartley] was mostly a jerk, but sometimes... he could be a dick.”

“She blew up my suit!” / Caitlin: “You have, like, three more.” / “Okay, I have two, and I really loved that one.”

“Take good care of my suit.” / Barry: “When are we gonna start calling it my suit?” / Cisco: “I’d be comfortable calling it... our suit.”

“Our Dr. Wells may have been evil, but you’re just a dick!”

Harry: “Ramon, it’s not a sight-seeing tour.” / Cisco, taking selfies: “Speak for yourself. I want my grandkids to know I did cool stuff.”

Cecile: “What the hell is a Bulbusaur?” / Cisco: “He’s the cutest one of them all!”

“Sorry I’m late. The curls were NOT cooperating this morning.”

Cisco: “Oh, are you going back to your Earth? I’ll breach you there right now!” / Harry, mockingly: “iLl BrEaCh yOu ThErE rIgHt nOw!” / Cisco: “That is NOT what I sound like!”

When he says “You’re a wizard, Harry.” to Harry and Harry just glares at him

Harry: “Don’t slurp.” / Cisco: *slurps* / Harry: “Doooon’t.” / Cisco: *slurps even more*

Harry: “We need the wand.” / Cisco: “The wand I made for Mark Mardon?” / Harry, sarcastically: “No, the wand for your Harry Potter convention!” / Cisco: “...How did you know about the Harry Potter convention?”

“There may be a million Harry’s in the multiverse, but you, Harry, you’re one of a kind.”

Caitlin: “As Cisco would say: Yahoo!” / Cisco: “I would say that!”

“I think about all the memories I cherish most, and... you’re in every single one of them, Caitlin.”

Caitlin: “I thought I was going to die.” / Cisco: “Not while I’m around.”

“She’s my best friend, and I’d rather it be me than her.”

Caitlin: “I can’t wait to go [to Dante’s party] and see a bunch of pictures of what you looked like as a kid.” / Cisco: “I’m rescinding your invite.”

Cisco: “Here’s some lime Jello. There’s no more strawberry.” / Caitlin: “What do you mean there’s no more strawberry? I just bought some last week.” / Cisco: “Yeah, well, I might have eaten some. Slash, all.” / Caitlin: “Cisco!” / Cisco: “Relax. I’ll buy you more.”

Caitlin: “Check the math. Your dispersal models don’t correlate.” / Cisco: “Uh, they do if you factor in the seasonal fluctuations of reproductive cycles.” / Dr. Wells: “What are you two debating?” / Cisco: “The average amount of bugs Barry swallows in a day of running.”

This is already so long, and there’s so many more iconic Cisco lines I could put. I just love all of Cisco’s lines. He’s the perfect mix of dork, nerd, and sass, and everything he says is iconic

One way I relate to this character:

I relate to his nerdiness and his love for sweets.

Thing that gives me secondhand embarrassment about this character:

He pronounces “gif” the wrong way. Smh

Cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Cinnamon roll, all the way.

#the flash #cisco ramon #I seriously could go on a ten page rant about my love for Cisco Ramon #he’s so dorky and adorable and he has a sassy side to him as well #but also. he’s compassionate and selfless and caring #his friends are the most important thing in the world to him #and he just deserves the best

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bangtan-ballum · 6 years

Text

what i remember from the interactive introverts show in belfast (28.5.2018) SPOILERS

this is all from memory so quotes and the order may not be completely accurate but close enough.. *pretty detailed spoilers*

- before the show began and the playlist was on, 'dans siri' kept interrupting saying "this is dans siri he left me to go look at some memes i hope you’re enjoying the playlist" and it telling us there’s no recording allowed and to turn our phones off or "ill beat you up only i cant because i’m just an ipad"

- the playlist had bts mic drop and red velvet peek-a-boo and everyone started singing and dancing to it and i was shook so many were fans of kpop omg i was liVING.

- explaining his tweet "the weirdest thing happened, sorry if you’re here but omg that would be weird, we were sat on a bench and then this little boy wearing a fedora walked by, stopped, looked back and did this *tipped his hat* like was that directed at me?? there was no hello, nothing! and then he waited and did it again?!" he asked phil if he seen him and he said he did. dan said "phew if you didn’t i thought, i’ve just seen god, god just came to me in this form to judge me. and if he did id be going down (to hell). i am not prepared for that"

- talking about the stage and the amazing graphic design and the two big i's at the side of the stage and dan said "look at those long boys" then called them phallic

- a photo of dan inspired by my horse prince with the caption "ride me senpai" and phil said it was from his own personal files so he doesn’t know how that got there..

- phil saying they want to get to know us better but bc theres not enough time for them to take us all out for a coffee and a chat (how cute, and then everyone became soft for them and said aww) so they decided to try to get to know use all at the same time

- the audiences collective name was karen

- "you’re just not there yet. you need to get inside karen" *dan looks at phil in disgust* "phil...join karen, connect with karen" dan later goes onto say "get inside karen" and phil says "see you’re as bad as me"

things dan and phil will not be doing tonight:

- 'erotic role playing': *phil wearing a police helmet and carrying a baton* "officer(maybe captain) phil(maybe philly) here, danny’s been a bad boy" then dan appears holding handcuffs "please be careful with the handcuffs i have sensitive skin"

- the show will also not be a live viewing of dan and phil in their apartment. they then showed videos of them doing things round the house and phil was eating cereal out of the box and dan was on the toilet.

- the show will not be a giant party with all their friends and they put party hats on and then the voice said “no because none of the people replied to their messages bc they have no friends. none.” lmao

- the show will not be them stripping and they ripped their shirts off to reveal they had the same shirt on underneath

- "unleash the bees" then "sting me daddy" by dan ofc

- they tested themselves and had to say the same thing under the topic of "kitchen objects" and they both said whisk and said that they never say the same thing and that was only the second time they’ve done that and they were so happy about it omg

- when doing the simulation part dan was in his fur suit and had to go to the toilets but the men’s was locked and the options we had to choose from was to "ask someone for the passcode" or "use the lady door" (i know) and dan went on to say that this is why we need to diminish the concept of gender and everyone clapped and cheered omg i love him

- during the how many think we know the real dan and phil bit, dan said something about how we know certain thing (that i dont remember) and how we know some of their kinks

- dan being v concerned about how we kept cheering for satan and judged the people of belfast for seeming happy to be making a deal with the devil lol.

- during the sacrifice of dan (what context?) phil came out in a leather apron with gloves and said he is wearing his best serial killer outfit.

- phil getting ready to shoot a spinning dan with an arrow and says "forget katniss everdeen, this is philniss philerdeen"

-phil misses the board and hits dans hip and dan said “if that was 5 inch to the left then we would not have been friends anymore”

- dan trying to get off the wheel and phil asked if he needs to unstrap him and dan said "i’ve had enough of you unstrapping me" idk if he actually said that but i s2g that’s what i heard at the time and how i will remember it LMAO

- dan had to untie phils apron and the audience died and dan was done with all of us.

- phil saying it was distracting watching dan get out of his padded suit and then dan tried to sexily get out of it whilst phil was talking and phil stopped and stared at dan and said "im just gonna let him do it" and so in the end we all just watched as dan struggled to step out of it and then literally also tripped. then a few minutes later he realised he still had one of the shoe protectors on his foot (he called it a shower cap lol) and then took it off and awkwardly walked to the side to set it down then awkwardly walked by and laughed under his breath.

- according to the audience dan has a stress mushroom, apple and a girls motivation locked in the box under his bed. dan was extremely concerned as to why she thinks he has locked an apple in the box. and everyone laughed when the other girl said her motivation and dan said "i too have my motivation locked in a box and i’ve lost the key"

- phil saying the key to dans box was v 50 shades of grey bc of the red ribbon

- at some point they both said a word wrong and both times they did The Thing™ they do when they mock each other when they make a mistake.

- 'phantastic phacts' as a title on screen. phil says "like what we did there?"

- dan saying his phil trash #1

- phil saying “put your nipples away” (when a photo of a topless man appeared on screen) and said it in some type of accent LMAO i died

- dan saying they are super best friends and soulmates -im dead-

- wholesome howell and x-rated lester made an appearance (they swapped roles and were given topics and phil had to make good things sound bad and dan had to make bad things sound good) also when dans photo of him as an angel with a halo and a rainbow behind him, he looked at the audience, smirked and said "its very fitting" i would like the think he meant the gay ass rainbow behind him but y’know.

- dan saying to god "implode me daddy" when he had to make the topic of the world imploding seem appealing. phil laughed under his breath and said “never say implode me daddy again”

- *phil having to make meeting beyonce sound bad and he said bc hes so clumsy that he'd trip and kill her and was really dramatic whilst saying it and dan was stunned and just looked in shock at phil then us and said "are you as traumatised as i am right now"

- dan having to make stepping in a puddle while wearing socks seem good and screamed and said "NO that is literally the worst thing in the world..ok you dont appreciate dry feet until suddenly they’re not. once a day we should all put on a fresh sock and go to the kitchen and step in something moist just to remember-" phil interrupts shouting no and dan continues saying "do you ever feel like you need a drink. well, with a wet sock you can just- *lifts his foot to his mouth and everyone dies on the spot*

- dan and phil struggling to pronounce all the irish names and everyone was screaming how to pronounce it and dan made everyone be quiet and squealed "wAIT. just one person" LMAO and then the one time phil said a name right and everyone cheered for him

- dan would happily become an amazing dancer even if it meant phil would wake up with 2 left hands and 2 left feet because he says it wouldn’t make a difference in phils life bc hes that clumsy now it’d probably be the same with 2 left feet.

- phil would save dan from being bitten by a vampire even though it would mean that buffy the vampire slayer never existed. they talked about how the vampire could bite him and he could live forever as a vampire and phil said he would bring him bloody treats (then dan referenced to before when phil was x-rated lester*) and said "what kind of bloody treats?? omg it would be beyonce he killed beyonce and will feed me her corpse" then said "no what if they just want me dead" and then phil decided to save him.

- dan thinks this phil without the fringe is an impostor and he killed the real phil. he screamed a couple of times throughout the show to ask where the real phils body was and said will get him to confess eventually.

- "are you really just a lizard in a phil suit..because that would explain a lot" phil is a scalie confirmed.

- phil constantly squatting/slut dropping to the buzzer sound effect

- i cant remember the context but phil said something about him having layers and dan stopped and said “layers?? are you shrek? what do you think this is, shrek the musical?”

- phil had to say dans biggest fear and he said moths, and it was wrong so he got an electric shock and dan said "wHAT NO! ok right i have this thing where i hate anything underwater. like imagine you’re in the sea, what are you scared of? sharks? woop no, whales? no. but there’s a boat and beside the boat there’s a buoy and attached to that is sLIMEY CHAIN. EW NO. i’ve got submechanophobia. (i googled it i think that’s what he said idk) so its not moths, phil you know that!!"

in the deep chat bit:

-they talked about phobias. someone submitted saying she had a phobia of balloons and asked if she was weird and asked what they’re scared off. phil said "no you’re not weird. everyone has their fears. whats yours dan" and dan said "as we discussed before, things underwater, slimey things! uHH. but yeah i get that, its the anticipation of when its gonna pop and that’s stressful" and asked phil what his was and said "i’ve always had a thing where i was scared of the deep sea ever since i was a kid. also, not that its really a phobia but, horses. i don’t like them i don’t trust their intentions. like imagine waking up one day to a horse in your bedroom" lol

- they talked about procrastination. talked about how changing your environment, like "doing a very not dan and phil thing" and going for a walk (dan squealed at the thought) could help distract your mind, getting some fresh air and then going back to your work with a different mindset. then talked about how phil has the need to reward himself when he does something and said that he always says to himself that if he finishes a certain task that he will reward himself with a marshmallow. and then said that if you reward yourself with something that it could motivate you to finishing whatever you’re putting off. dan said phil is using the example of a marshmallow but that he really does this and that he tells dan not to let him have the marshmallows until he finishes whatever he needs to do. dan then said that even if your procrastinating school work or whatever to just write the first word, or try writing a few sentences bc atleast you’ve started it and if you start writing that you could get into the mindset and keep writing until you finish.

- they talked about making a youtube channel. someone submitted that he has started a youtube channel about reptiles and if they had any tips. and dan said "omg stephen. phil is probably already subscribed" lmao. phil praised him for starting a channel about something he is interested in and how its bad to start a channel just for the views and the subscribers. then said that instead of talking about what hes going to do, he should "just do it, show us that lizard" and dan said "yeah dont start off like "hi, so my name is [stephen], nice to meet you. ive always wanted to make videos about reptiles but i never rea-" lmao

- phil saying bitch in his disstrack oh my god

- the song at the end: "hey buddy can you give me some editing tips"

- when dan was playing the piano and phil was singing and said that even though they’ve been friends for so long they’ve never fallen out and then starting listing things they could fall out over eg. phils dying houseplants, how dan never goes outside, phils vision is blurry and dans a furry.

- for the most inaccurate prediction of interactive introverts someone submitted "2 hours of dan and phil twerking to the teletubbies theme tune" and then dan proceeded to twerk whilst singing it and saying the teletubbies names..

- d: "its basically two oscars tied together" p: "oh and they’re naked, look at those butts" d: "wow statues of two naked men tied together may not be the best thing to have when its meant to represent us"

there were some really soft things they said at the start and the end, and how we were there bc were happy(?) (i dont remember the exact context or quote but it was something like that, all i mind is that it was v sweet) and idk i just love them omg it was the best night!!

#ii spoilers #interactive introverts #ii belfast #dan #phil #phan #dan and phil

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hgfstreamchats · 6 years

Text

100 Scariest Movie Moments

Me Evening, Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo Evening! just us? Me At the moment. Jalaperilo cool cool. hope the usual suspects turn up. i could do with a laugh Me You too? Jalaperilo yup. must be cause its halloween. makes everyone really shitty even though its the best holiday of the year, apart from pancake day

Me There we are! Jalaperilo yey! Jalaperilo If you're interested in horror and havent seen it yet, 'A History of Horror with Mark Gatiss' is a very good series from the BBC Me I think I absolutely need to see this. Jalaperilo he has a love for hammer horror and its fascinating to watch him go in depth on early horror Me Your horror scene fascinates me. You do so much with so little. Jalaperilo urgh Me As you do. Jalaperilo i love the birds Me Frightening and plausible. Birds are loveless beings. Jalaperilo they are Jalaperilo they threw brids at tippy hendren Me Just chucked them. Jalaperilo how did this beat out 28 days later? Me Gross injustice. Me So their eyes are cortical patches, basically. Jalaperilo haha. if only shockwave had made something already creepy even fucking scarier Me Give him time. Jalaperilo please lock him up haha Me Oh, Argento films. Jalaperilo your fave Me Well, maybe you should have been a better kisser. Jalaperilo it was really her, she just got bored of pretending he was good Me Hah! Me How did *this* beat out 28 Days Later? Jalaperilo right? weird. its not scary i love the wizerd of oz Me "Those terrible little vests." Jalaperilo what is it about british children that other countries think are creepy all the kids i know are little shits Me I've always wondered about that one myself. Jalaperilo I wonder if Alien is gonna be on this list, cause that is quite horror like Me Do you want me to tell you if it is? Jalaperilo sure. i dont think im gonna last the full 3 hours lol Me It is. Jalaperilo \O/ Me I didn't expect anyone to! I intended this to be one of those things people can drop in and out of, but no one else is dropping in. Jalaperilo cowards Me I thought she was going to leave it at "Don't buy a house." Jalaperilo hahah i thought all of the USA was built on indian burial grounds? Me True! Jalaperilo i love how Bela Lugosi's accent influenced all future instances of dracula Me You just can't improve on it. Jalaperilo sings is a stupid film signs* Me It has a terrible ending. Jalaperilo it just doesnt make sense why the aliens would come to earth Me The dimmest aliens in the history of the universe. Jalaperilo lol tony todd! what a voice Me It's a *very* nice voice. Jalaperilo urg WHAT Me And this beat out Bees In the Mouth. Jalaperilo god people will say anything as a talking head Me They don't even show it, like they're properly ashamed for including it. Jalaperilo haha. i watched that film multiple times as a kid and it never scared me Me The only human horror film I've ever been frightened by is The Brave Little Toaster. Jalaperilo understandable all the cybertronians i follow or seen have expressed a dislike for that film Me It's just not necessary. Jalaperilo this is the only shyamalan film i like, but my dad did spoil it for me so i knew everything already Me And the twist is basically everything. Jalaperilo ikr? what a twat Jalaperilo reanimator! my fave of all time! Me Isn't that the one where one of the humans sounds eerily like Ratchet? Jalaperilo yes! and he messes around injecting green shit into things as well! Me Ratchet's no longer allowed to judge me. Jalaperilo i think the cat scene should have been the example. the swinging light makes it so much scarier Me I don't think that's making love. Jalaperilo it still gets me Me Although she doesn't seem to be tied down to anything. Jalaperilo also her dad's zombie corpse is also in the room its so messe up but so much fun Me Kinky? Jalaperilo im kinkshaming Me Ooh! Jalaperilo i havent seen this film looks intereszting Me I'm very tempted to stream it someday. Me I can understand why humans cringe at this one. Jalaperilo bones and teeth are awful blood and guts im fine Me That sound would bother me too if I only got one set of teeth. Me More teeth. Jalaperilo wasnt there a recent story of an old dentist office that was being redeveloped and they found thousands of teeth in the wall? Me That's even worse. Jalaperilo ikr? why keep them? its like you keeping used transistors or something Me Exactly. There's no non-horrifying reason for it. Jalaperilo whoa! r-word! Me But the corpse head was lovemaking. Seems legit. Jalaperilo but what could have been the difference! Me We'll just never know!

Me Hello there, Nickel! Minibot-Nickel Heya knocky~ Jalaperilo yo! Minibot-Nickel Heya~ Me I like how the rabbit is the line. Jalaperilo animals are where we draw the line. fuck other humans Me It's a reasonable line. Minibot-Nickel people in animal suits freak me out Jalaperilo *insert furry joke* Minibot-Nickel *shudders* Me There really isn't. Minibot-Nickel you know... hearing my tea maker brewing is probably not helping with the scary aspect of the show XD Jalaperilo haha Me Oh, I like The Vanishing. Jalaperilo mark kermode is one of our greatest film critics he's the only one i'll really listen to Me He seems like he knows his scrap. Minibot-Nickel *holds out rust sticks* want some? Me Thank you! Jalaperilo he's incredibly fair in his critiques Minibot-Nickel so THAT'S mr. del toro~ Jalaperilo one for you ko! Me Indeed! Me That seems short-sighted. Jalaperilo the oldies are the best Me No arguments here. Jalaperilo ok.im tapping out. enjoy the rest of the countdown! Me Good night, Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo ill have to look up what number 1 is Me It's...a movie, to be sure. Jalaperilo good night knockout-cybertronian! no way! good night nickle! Minibot-Nickel Night, night, jalaperilo-firend~ Me And he just casually props them up. That won't go wrong. Minibot-Nickel This halloween, i want to give myself nightmares~ Me 'Tis the season. Minibot-Nickel if this doesn't do it, then i'm gonna watch ghost stories/adventures/hunters tomorrow~ Me And even if it does! Minibot-Nickel i'll drink to that~ Minibot-Nickel phone just rang and scared the hell out of me Me Rude of you, phone. Minibot-Nickel on the up side, mun's going swimming tomorrow Me He just toddles out the door. Minibot-Nickel i'm curious what the hell it was Me You're not the only one. Minibot-Nickel (red, white, blue, finials and a judgmental stare) Minibot-Nickel i've always wanted to see the hills have eyes Me It's a rough one. Minibot-Nickel oh? spoilers? Me This happens, for starters. Minibot-Nickel OAO Minibot-Nickel now this sounds fun Me That human has a fun job. Minibot-Nickel i wonder what would happen if a realistic zombie movie was made? Me 28 Days Later was fairly realistic. Minibot-Nickel oh~ i'll have to look into it. though i can say with confidence than zombies wouldn't last long in florida Me Florida, where no one should ever be. Minibot-Nickel the hell state Minibot-Nickel what was that one movie about the haunted big rigs who menaced the humans looking for fuel? Me That's the one! Minibot-Nickel which one? i've seen it, but can't remember the name Me Duel? Minibot-Nickel oh~ i'll haveta rewatch it Minibot-Nickel kill it with fire Me Kill it with extra fire. Me I think it's fairly obvious he wants to frag him. And also ruin his life. Me No, no. You knew exactly what their relationship was. Why are humans like this? Minibot-Nickel what did i miss? Me The Hitcher, the big gay horror road movie. Also The Fly. Minibot-Nickel the big gay horror road? Minibot-Nickel children are demons confirmed Me Human ones especially. And yes, The Hitcher's a very twisted romance. Minibot-Nickel human children.... why do they exist? Minibot-Nickel one nearly busted my audials... Me How did that happen? Minibot-Nickel teen sex SHOULD be met with carnage and i think the kid didn't get a sweet they wanted at a checkout line Me I do love that movie. Minibot-Nickel if ya wanna do a movie night one day, i'll make the sweets and some high grade drinks~ Me Sounds lovely! Minibot-Nickel it'll be so great~ Minibot-Nickel i wanna see this Me I like the title. Minibot-Nickel that guy has an unfortunate last name Me Which one? Minibot-Nickel rockoff Me Hah. Me Well, good luck, kids! Minibot-Nickel *chinhands* Me HAH! Today Me Who sleeps with a single light shining on their face? Minibot-Nickel no one sane Me Nothing of value was lost. Me HERE WE ARE! Minibot-Nickel i bet you anything, soundwave'd do that XD Me I'd believe it. Minibot-Nickel vos did that to me once and i couldn't sleep for a week after Me Oh, yes, yes, this is what I love. Best of movies, best of humans. Minibot-Nickel humans really have a wide variety of ways to kill each other Me Well, so do we. Minibot-Nickel true. very true Me Astrotrain? Minibot-Nickel astrotrain? Me "Lie down and the devil will come have sex with you." Minibot-Nickel did astro fuck unicron? Minibot-Nickel we're at jacobs ladder Me I think so? Me There we are. Apologies for that. Minibot-Nickel it's no prob~ Minibot-Nickel "torture is love" the djd's motto Me I see why you're so popular throughout the multiverse. Minibot-Nickel believe it or not, but i got the hell out of dodge Me Really! Minibot-Nickel yup. i'm a free range medic now. the others are either smeared or atomic dust now Me Worse things to be than a free range medic. Minibot-Nickel true. might open up a bakery Me Ooh! Minibot-Nickel yep~ roll out the sweets~ Me The noblest profession. Minibot-Nickel and of course, in the back room come the medicinal sweets~ Minibot-Nickel i have an uncle named damien Me It's a nice name, honestly. Minibot-Nickel scream sounds funny Me You know, I've never seen it! But it does. Me This one *technically* has eye business, heads up. Minibot-Nickel wanna wait for it to buffer for a bit? Me But no damage to the eyeball itself, if that makes a difference. Minibot-Nickel i wanna see this so bad Me It's a good one. Minibot-Nickel love the pun you made earlier Me Not the eyeballs. The area around them. Me I do my best. Minibot-Nickel oooooo top ten~ Me Starscream, hello! You're just in time for the final stretch. Minibot-Nickel hello screamy~ Starscreamapillar Excellent. I was hoping to not miss the whole stream. Me Sproing. Starscreamapillar The scariest thing in the world is the neighbours. Not inaccurate... Me Not at all. Minibot-Nickel (i was too oblivious to notice highschool hell XD) Minibot-Nickel there's nothing more frightening than an expert weilding powertools Starscreamapillar You mean a medic? Me I was about to say, I take offense. Me Look at that rowdy old man go. Starscreamapillar These descriptions, without having actually seen the movie in full, make it sound very bizarre, but not scary. Me I found it bizarre, but not all that scary. Me Why would you follow a sound? Ever? Starscreamapillar Why would you follow that sound, in particular? Me Natural selection, presumably. Starscreamapillar That is not the best way to stab someone. Me Just wave the knife around and see what happens. Starscreamapillar Also not how to correctly fall down the stairs. Me Poor marks, stairs human. Go back and do it right. Starscreamapillar Dull surprise. Me Except for that. Minibot-Nickel XDDD Me Good for the mother. She's living her best afterlife. Minibot-Nickel it's what i wanna do in the afterlife Starscreamapillar Space crackers. They contain more sodium than earth crackers. Me And more space. Minibot-Nickel OAAAAAAOOOO Starscreamapillar They really think that a fish is the scariest? Me They thought Willy Wonky's boat ride was worse than 28 Days Later. Starscreamapillar . . . This list seems highly flawed. Me Maybe that was their logic. Give the first place to something no one would agree with as the scariest. Me Oh, no! A shark is doing shark things in the only place on Earth a shark lives! Starscreamapillar The horror! Me "But statistically speaking, almost surely won't!" Me Alright! It's late, but just one more for the road. Starscreamapillar Excellent. Minibot-Nickel one more three hour movie thing? Me Yes, Nickel. One more three hour movie thing. Me Still scarier than Jaws. Starscreamapillar It truly was, David S. Pumpkins. Minibot-Nickel true Starscreamapillar Absolutely. Me Well, on THAT note, I'm off into the dark to see what made our power glitch. Where nothing can possibly go wrong. Starscreamapillar Try not to be eaten by scraplets. Minibot-Nickel i'm gonna ty to not murder the neighbors~ they have their music blaring. it's midnight Me Just make sure to dissolve the spark chambers. Good night, everyone! So glad you could make it! Starscreamapillar Good night, and thank you for the nonsense, even if I missed most of it. Minibot-Nickel *hugs the knocky and screamy* Me You caught the choicest part.

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weabbynormalblog · 3 years

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Childhood trauma=Adult Survivor

The things we tell ourselves. Be careful for what you wish for. Its really important to stop crying over shit you can't change or control.

I know its hard. Don't do this don't do that etc. Suffering is necessary especially if your a Buddhist and certainly if your human.

The Sercret, The law of attraction, the latest buzz words, you'll catch more bees with honey, that's a fact. Act now! Try this! Find the easy way out? Is there an easy way? No decision is still a decision. Stay, go, turn in circles, pondering the all of its entirety. All vying as your solution. Yes like attracts Like. FACT Belief overules like. Thats why "This shit of attracting is all wrong!". " Hello? Belief is everything!" Its our level of personal experience that is my "now" domain. I'm the God here in my life in this body today. I believe what I believe till I believe otherwise...I say the human experience should be all-inclusive, empathetic, understanding and supportive. Most people and humanitarians would agree. That's not how nature works. Survival of the fitess. Do or die. Like attracts like and I get tackled and body slammed to the ground. Why? Am I a bad person because of "xyz"? Nope. Did I do something to someone else? No. This time it was all because I was mad, triggered and I exploded; had a verbal melt down. The neighbor was disturbed by my authentic emotions. No nukes were sent, no one is getting hurt here. Just venting and trying to work out my anger. Not to hold shit in and to stop the rings of abuse. Clearly the other person in the room was overwhelmed too. Im trying to solve some issues instead I get yelling and fuck yous. I know this is not my fault!!!??? I know the whatever happened to me. "Insert major life changing event here" I am changed there is no doubt...nothing worked out as I hopped or wished it. Even so I took all steps necessary and just the same outcome. Still void, suffering and unremarkable. Yet I am where I am. No further along or better or worst off. Cha cha cha! And I must do without and put up with injustice. Denied!!! All my emotions are tied up in a neat, tight, the most perfect, best ball of raw ugly emotions on a kitchen timer ever ...I can't talk to anyone about anything, thier shackles get up and they go on the defensive, then arguing and me walking away because again I am unable to communicate what I need and overwhelmed again by my situation. Unable to communicate what is necessary for us solve our issues to move on together or apart. Grrrrr This is so common for us with brain injury, PTSD and many other host of mental health issues. There is so much that needs to be said that it gets left unsaid. Often its too late for those in need. Its very difficult to relate and communicate effectively beyond our frustration with others. We don't have the copping tools or vocabulary to express it in times of great frustration or in dire situations specifically. Am I doing something wrong? How do I change it? I must also learn to protect myself as well. So I try to diffuse with humor. So hey dial it back a thousand buddy, calm down~ me im doing my breathing exercise "listen I got high blood pressure" in hopes they back down and talk calmly and nope. Another deep breath counting on the in to 5 hippopotamus hold 6 out 7 or 9 hippopotamus depending on my stress level at the time. Look I got a Brain injury, cant we get along? Meet half way? Can we talk later? When were not angry? No? Then just leave me alone and finally I get to walk away having dealt with someone within conflict as effective as possible. Progress for me even though nothing was resolved ~ yes theres more pain and more frustration. Live and try again tomorrow or move on. When being in a place of anger thats all you can relate to, you are not able to understand anything else? Some can some can't. Im working on my flexibility, trust, bettering my health, down to my now moment. They want some kind of resolution and they end up dragging me back under again with things that aren't helpful for me, no truth, no resolution and just more critism and blaming. Not productive. Toxic people thrive in thier emotional power. Next step then. If they can not find the same patience you need to work on "issues" then work on improving your boundaries. Refuse to discuss issues when angry, make time to talk to suit

everyone. Agree to listen and then be heard. Set a timer. Be open, be reserved to be more distant from other people emotions and be more grounded with your own. Recognize and hone in on your own emotions. Practicing mindfulness, meditation, a healthful regime, socializing that benefits you too is necessary to being a good human. Im so tired of the fucking ripples that keep all my family apart already...All of it stems from the abuse and damage to the core of my soul that left rings on my childrens' lives as well. My Maternal Grandmother was in the Holocaust that tends to mare your parenting skills and the ripples expand. 3 to 4 generations of children no longer speaking to thier mothers. Im sure thier mothers were not to blame. No one protected me either. I was given up for adoption. I was abused. It happens.Thats ok I'll work with what I got. It can end there. No need to add to a bad situation. Maybe the 1person I sent off had my back. All because I promised Daddy Warbucks to make sure my best friend got on that plane. I understand I haven't been as good a friend to myself than I have to others. I was very self sacrificing like everything was my fault. Ive turned that bus around. At the end of the day you may think nothing matters. You matter! This world is nothing without your unique personality in it. Yet here you sit alone in fears with tears streaming down into rivers...I don't know about you but Im tired of wet feet. A lifetime of abuse and suffering very often at the hand of others. I over compensated for everything. Even my language supported it. It did surprised me on the face of Oliver that day. It was painful and it revealed more of the abuse of self to me often forgotten in the past similar moments of thier upbringings. Aha! PTSD, ADHT, me with Dyslexia no doubt I suffered along with my children. 11 years later we are finally starting to do the work that should of been done back then. No one was ready. I would of made my son sit at the table during dinner. Pressured my husband to enforce our agreed rules. Took time to feel and deal with the loss of Pearl, our marriage and business ...trying to understand our feelings, deal with our mental health issues Before seemed impossible, I never gave up on my family. i gave them the space they needed. Now theres Covid restrictions and passports. This stupid ass greedy human world. And now geography is still in our way. Its a lot and still only a fraction of what some humans suffer from the hands of other humans. Very sad. Friends will come and go. I know its what needs to happen. The toxic people have to learn thier lessons too. Next step is slow down give yourself some space and peace. Deep breathing till you feel you can respond when dealing with conflict. Or make another time to work on it. Do things at your own pace, no excuse needed they will wait, they feed off of it. Practice beneficial things. Like being self sufficient, its a struggle worthy of the time and effort. Im working to overcome my issues. I now know that's not the way that love or friendship should work. I ask why me what did I do to deserve such torture? I remind myself, it's only 1 part of the journey. Everyone hurts, cries and dies. Love should bring out the best. Not the worst. They are a lousy mirror right now. Thats ok we can still move forward. I can forgive them for what they were not capable of. I love them inspite of it all. As is, as it always has been. They were only capable of showing the negative even when I worked so hard to stay positive and be a good example. If not me then who? Critisim everywhere. No solutions only problems. They beat me down at every turn...I'm still breathing. Everything's a contest and no one ever wins. If you can't do this, then how are you going to do that? Why are you judging me and why do I care so much? I care not to be in conflict and this is what is driving or rather coloring my reality. I avoid conflict like Covid. My childhood trauma that I thought I dealt with years of therapy and moved on from was rearing its ugly head yet again. How

do I slay the beast for all time? My limiting behavior needed more help. So I needed to build a better foundation for myself. One built on everthing in its own time with practice, patience,acceptance, learning and more growth. So I won't have to walk away from conflict ever again. I can lean in and help us grow together as a couple or as a family or be what the other human needs positively in thier now moment. Sometimes its not about us, its about giving back with what we have learnt. I know it sucks that we have been thrown to the odds of fate to do better apart. Its not thier fault, or mine either. Yet heres me litterally paying for all of it. With my resources, energy, health and sanity. History has a way of slapping you in the face. Yes Im woke as fuck! Your opposition yes they too pay with thier blood, sweat and tears. Perhaps never on the same page or kiss or moment. At times my heart is so broken. Doubting thoughts need correcting. Like I want nothing much to do with the whole entire human race right now, I mean you no ill will. The Talliban kill with impunity, chaos and destruction in thier wake. Do they have no wants or desires but only destruction for what they can't have? Cant we teach them how to live, love and listen? Do they not want the same as others? A healthy family, a roof over ones head and food in our bellies? Are we not all from this world? I was told this duality is healthy. The human condition needs to see destruction to appreciate growth. I still don't know how this all will help that woman with the gun pointed at her head or to watch your family be slautered in front of your eyes. No human should know this. Violence has always been a part of being human. We are a human animal. I protect my life and those that I love. Life and death I choose to fight for my life and thiers. I also choose to fight for others ...when in reality we are just fighting ourselves. I appreciate everything I lost and have. So I sit in what will be my art studio and den...I know my worth and how lucky I am. I look about all the things that are still here. Stuff holds space. Illusions fade. Love can hold space for others. Did they loved me enough to say your beautiful or even I love you? Or cared enough to be by your side during your worst moments. Perhaps a we'll get through this together? Good thing I never needed any of that. I was always able alone. I did need kindness, empathy, support and understanding. It was devastating to be met with violence. Everthing was a fight in my life. But isn't that the nature of living? Personally Im tired of the abuse. They throw it back in your face every chance they get. So it seems the lesson is to look at who Iam or are. After reflection its our belief of who they are and who we are in conflict that decides the winner. Can they learn to look beyond winners and loosers? Meet us half way? Walk a mile in my shoes. I know I can. Its going to take lots of patience, proactive support and some serious housework and cleaning to shape up humanity on this world. I'm doing my work. Im not on this rock to police or please others. What about these toxic people? Where are thier lessons? They need help too, no? Society and my answer to that, is you have to go! Then the police say no. Due to Pandemic Conditions; I am in utter disbelief but I do understand. Past abuse that was not legally recorded. Yadda, Yadda shwing shwing. What about my rights and issues? Legal up Baby! Money and the boys club is still king. Harsh as it was, there are many other moments in my life that hurt me way more. I will survive this and move well beyond. I will not let others narrow mindedness change who I am. Openess, understanding, no judgements here. Yet my generousity was used against me and in the worst way by people I love like no others. Betrayed again. 》Tip off here. Recurring themes. Betrayal can be healed. At the time you could have punched me in the stomach, I wouldn't, couldn't even feel it. There was nothing but numb and delayed reactions. "Let's face it, the best is never good enough when you

have suffered abuse and neglect." Its a deep riff and or trauma that someone else may be responsible for in your psychological makeup that makes and moulds us too. It happens a lot. Unfortunatly its more common than not. Childhood trauma. I get that. As an adult I know it's my cup to fill. Unknowingly I may have inflicted it onto others, for that I apologize. I'm still a work in progress, working on myself here. I'm the one falling, stumbling and then I get back up. The damage has been done. Please walk away, I got this now. They had affected everything I did. At the sink, the powder room, the work, the garage.....mess here and there, important things left undone...here's me trying to get them all done and save the world too in one breath. No wonder its too big, too heavy and we all need to lift. The first step is admiting ill be ok, I've got my back. I'll get through this like everything else with tears, journaling and a hot beverage. I send strength and courage to those in need. You will find a way to cope, help and move on. Believe! I'll leave that guitar right there as a reminder of my shit and thiers. Along with the 7k check and your ego at the door. Let go of all expectations, broken words and promises. The stuff they said they would do...that they never did. You want something done? Do it yourself. Can't do it all then get the professional that you need.

I understand you are broken, we all are. The catch is you have to fix it and fill it. Talk to someone you trust or write it down, talk it into a recording app...whatever help you need you deal with it in a positive way 7f you can't then look that shit up. Own your shit and get on with living! You can do this! If you live in fear find a way to empower and protect yourself. Just remember we are just human here, right now. No super powers, no agents for the world or our times. Be humble, be open, heal yourselves and then help heal others. 1 person and 1 step at a time. Like the green grass that's brown in the spring, with water, care and nutrients in the fall it will be a sea of green. Small steps add up to big changes over time. Break it down. Carve out time for happiness practice. 15 minutes a day just you sitting in peace and quiet. Every step you take from here on will go in a positive, proactive solution oriented manor or not at all. It's what you choose to do《Tip. Choose better thoughts and food choices. Work on 1 thing at a time. This is what micromanagement is good for; on yourself. Yes we can be success and happy in life without anyone, that doesn't mean we should. We need to trust eachother and work together. We learn so much from conflict so don't fear it. Its what helps us grow and learn when we become stagnant.

#Rising above abuse #Mental illness healthy choices #Be the master in your life #Embrassing Conflict #Conflict resolution #Living with childhood trauma

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schwinns2ndlaw · 7 years

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listening through a new brain (2015)

prologue: frogs have so much spring:

homeless lady/grace singing in the prologue reminds me about how she, being homeless and really having nothing, ties together this theme of mortality, and life’s strangeness, and being grateful for what you have despite the circumstances.

gordon hasn’t “finish[ed] one song,” so i wonder how long he’s been employed with mr bungee

rhoda and gordon’s bickering/conversation feels really familiar between them. i wonder how long they’ve been friends; i hope since college,,, i have a lot of love for rhoda being the pillar of Work Ethic and advice and support and being a little bit bossy

prologue: 911 emergency/i have so many songs:

from the second song bill finn sets up a picture of normal gay culture (ex: the reality of having to worry about hiv, “mr bungee’s homophobic”) and i have so much love for how candid and unapologetic he is about telling lgbt stories. he is gay and jewish and goddamn his work is gay and jewish and that’s beautiful

heart and music:

i love what they did with the transition from i have so many songs to heart and music with the pulse ox.

also i gotta love the classic bill finn rhyme of horses & divorces. fucking iconic

one thing here that distinguishes anb from his other works, is, i think, how the songs are structured as an album. though falsettos and a new brain are both sung through, a new brain’s core songs are much more apparent, the first of which being heart and music. also bc they’re the only ones on the obc album but still. it’s interesting to see how he handles transition songs in a new brain. imo, the transitions in anb are weaker than his other shows: falsettos is more continuous, and 25th annual putnam county spelling bee has a different format (there’s dialogue), plus has transitions for comedic purposes (the goodbye songs)

mother’s gonna make things fine:

mother’s gonna make things fine has a manic comedic quality to it and ana gasteyer pulls it off really well. i esp like her blocking for that part

trouble in his brain:

“the invincibility of gordon michael schwinn” is a really interesting line to me. mimi and rhoda both say it — it’s a well known thing among those who know gordon. i wonder if this ties into gordon’s well-known desire to have a [musical] legacy or if it’s applied to other parts of his life?

be polite to everyone:

be polite to everyone is kind of a jam for a hallucination. i like jonathan groff’s acting choices in it (in the boot) that further clarify that he’s hallucinating because im dumb and found anb at like 1am a while back and didn’t get things at first. i just… accepted that mr bungee was there tbh

i’d rather be sailing:

the instrumentals in i’d rather be sailing are so soothing. it’s 11pm and aaron lazar is singing me a lullaby and all is right in the world. god, what charming, gorgeous voice, and what stellar execution. i have such a soft spot for aaron lazar after his performance in a new brain; it’s a charming role and he pulls it off with such decorum and sincerity. also i just fucking love roger. okay i was going to analyze this bit but it’s just a really sweet love song and i sometimes think about how this is the closest thing that william finn has written to a love song for his partner, and like,,, Y’all I Love This Song

(also. the piano [though it’s not marked as a specific dynamic in the sheet music] high note he sings at the end is stellar.)

family history:

family history is honestly really funny. that’s all

gordo’s law of genetics:

i love the slight changes to this arrangement in the revival recording but i will not rest until “why is the smart son always the gay son?” “schwinn’s second law” is put back in the recording. i wonder why they cut that?

also the blocking in this part is super cute i love the rolling chair and jonathan’s conducting and “air drums”

and they’re off:

i binge listened to and they’re off and then set it as my alarm and now I’m a little tired of it and that makes me sad :’(

STILL it’s a BOP and i love the rhyming in it and everyone sounds so good. this song is overlooked in its exposition of mimi; it gives insight to the circumstances that shaped her as a person. and they’re off gives an explanation behind her anger at gordon’s fatalistic behavior

last note for and they’re off: groff’s vocals are great here - i can feel the love he has for this song and this score

roger arrives:

i love roger arrives for all of the character dynamics it brings

roger is: -loved by all (“hallelujah” - mimi, which, like, same) -looking fit -damned appropriate -a strong emotional pillar -a dreamboat, and that’s the tea!

roger and gordon’s first irl interaction is so comical and quirky and real. i’m a little peeved they omitted rogers “no” (and a few other phrases from the performance) in response to gordon asking if he left after he found out. the first time i listened through i thought roger might’ve actual left afterwards and was ready to throw hands

roger rolls with gordon’s insanity with such stride and :’)

the whole “he looks good”/“he looks pale”/“he looks better” showcases everyone’s different outlooks on the situation and god knows i live for characterization through song

ROGER’S LITTLE STINT/IMPLICATION IN “GO GET DINNER. ROGER HAS ARRIVED” IS FUNNY HONESTLY. there was a youtube performance i watched where the roger - idr which video - emphasized this joke more. it was hilarious and i wish aaron lazar had leaned into that a bit

just go:

i love how unique roger and gordon’s dynamic is. it feels quirky and unique and real and honestly. also the two get some gorgeous melodic lines and harmonies

“sometimes when you talk, i feel so damn woozy” roger wins at romance

tl;dr gordon: you will get these hands if you stay roger: love you too

mri tomorrow:

LET ME JUST TALK ABOUT “time to go to sleep. you’ll be brave as zorro” I HAVE NO IDEA WHETHER BILL FINN USED ZORRO AS A DESPERATE RHYME (PROBABLY) BUT I LOVE THE IDEA THAT ROGER IS AN OLD SCHOOL COMICS NERD

also in the boot, gordon just gives roger a /look/ after saying this and i love it. he probably uses outdated phrases of speech too

poor, unsuccessful, and fat:

JOSH LAMON IS A COMEDIC FORCE

“my sister is a receptionist” bill finn. where is gordon’s sister? what is she doing (besides being a receiptionist)? her brother’s in the hospital c’mon

“thank you for coming/ thank you for going” another example of this sort of underhanded humor. i like the sort of theme around Visitors in the hospital room and the people you surround yourself with in crisis

sitting becalmed in the lee of cuttyhunk:

sitting becalmed in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in

i desperately need someone to make an edit where “in the lee” never ends it’d be so unsatisfying and i’d love it

“oh yeah fuck it i hate the sun” jonathan groff does a really good job of portraying sarcastic characters,, this role suits him so well

HOW MUCH COMPLAINING DO YOU THINK ROGER HEARS ON THE DAILY THOUGH

“we got the picture” “i get the picture!/that wasn’t bad at all” i actually like this though??? like the first inklings of gordon’s epiphany at the end & him valuing life for what it is

this cast all has such great voices

crainiotomy:

I LOVE THAT FUN HOME WAS THE SHOW THE DOCTOR WENT TO IN THE REVIVAL. MY LESBIAN ASS IS SO HAPPY ALSO HOW OLD ARE THE DOCTOR’S KIDS IF THEY’RE SEEING CHICAGO

an invitation to sleep in my arms:

one of my favorite songs on the album.

the orchestrations behind it are really soothing and there are the most gorgeous harmonies at 2:27. desperately need someone to duet this with

whenever “mr music” is mentioned i think of like some 7 year old running around in a magician’s hat using a magic wand as a conductor’s stick

rhoda means so well

“i get distracted so damn easily” cut to gordon not being able to write a note of a song as soon as roger walks in. also cut to gordon forgetting what he was supposed to be writing also imo gordon probably has adhd

give roger and gordon more duets, or at least treasure the ones they get… that’s all i ask

ALSO I LOVE HOW FAMILY ORIENTED MIMI IS, like she is such an advocate for the belief that life is worth living and worth treasuring the important people in your life

also, the interactions between rhoda and mimi are some of my favorite

change:

such a good solo for high voices??? super fun and belty

i love that bill finn writes women just as dimensional as his other characters (though i wish he wrote more female-headed works i suppose. that’s just a hope of mine in general though)

the yes song:

the yes song takes me on like 7 different emotional arcs

“or when someone says “would you like to lose your virginity”/someone with whom you have no affinity” sondheim is SHAKING

“yes i will go to my grandparents to israel” is a line that can only really be appreciated by watching it goddamn

WHERE IS HIS SON??????

in the middle of the room (part i):

sometimes i think about how jonathan groff got into a car accident during the lyric “and i’m waiting for a car to come along and kill me”…. like how ICONIC???

ana sounds so concerned and on the border of falling apart in the recording i love talent

throw it out:

throw it out is a really versatile song,, like the tenderness at the beginning, the later comedic aspect of mimi desperately trying to find something to blame for gordon’s illness.

“‘HOW TO MEET A SAILOR’ GOOD SON” IM GENUINELY CRYING WITH LAUGHTER IG WE ALL KNOW HOW ROGER AND GORDON MET I LOVE A LYRIC

in the middle of the room (part ii)

this bit is so frantic. also it scared the shit out of me in the production when they brought out that drill oh my god

a really lousy day in the universe:

HEY THIS IS ILLEGAL ESP IN THE BOOT HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO CRY

that aside, it’s a very pretty song

also, the fact that a new brain is partially autobiographical is wild??? like, bill finn’s partner had a therapy session with a homeless lady. what a wild conversation to relay back to him tbh

brain dead:

more commonly known as the resident banger of the anb ost

i don’t have a ton to say about this but lesbians (myself) do love a song that slaps

jonathan groff NAILS the phrase “what i am” it’s Gorgeous

the music still plays on:

mimi is such an incredible character don’t sleep on her wtfff

i think that the music still plays on gives a really interesting perspective both into mimi’s life, especially with the lines, “i was brash; i was bold,” and “married too young, and divorced far too old”

“the music still plays on… as my men depart” i think this line is interesting in that it emphasizes that mimi doesn’t want to be left alone. her divorce really affected her — it’s mentioned several times and she’s regretful. and right after it she feels stupid for feeling vulnerable. we see that later in the song, and the theme shifts into moving on, as the music (& life) still plays on

don’t give in:

hey so don’t give in is so fucking cursed both because of the beginning and jonathan groff mumbling “spaghetti”

you boys are gonna get me in such trouble:

RICH IS UHHH UNDERRATED

love the sound effects

title is Too Fucking Long

i’d rather be sailing (reprise):

“i choose to live” is such a powerful statement. it actually reminds me of the foreward to one of our choral pieces, named after the poem “invictus”

the lyrics “i am the master of my fate. i am the captain of my soul" from “invictus”, and the remark “just as death is inevitable, so is life” remind me so strongly of this reprise

the homeless lady’s revenge:

“i feel about eight”/ “don’t hyperventilate out on the street, normal, lively, and sweet” i love A Dynamic

“the life is wonderful”s are so nice… their voices blend so nicely

“half these books with my name on the cover”/“some with the name of your lover” i can’t believe mimi threw out ROGER’s books too oh my god. also a shared library…. sweet

roger’s attempt to persuade grace is very charming and her reaction is priceless and i love it so much. grace is such a chaotic force (insert prayer hands emoji x100)

also gordon’s “what!?”

the vocal arrangements in this is really nice in that everyone has in character, funny reactions, but the song still has lovely melodies and still feels like a song, not a filler. william finn really out here writing conversational theater at its peak. i definitely like these songs of his (like roger arrives, an invitation) because they don’t really get old and are so full of character

time:

“i give you time to value what you’ve found”

also let roger say “my love” not “my friend” oh my godddd

time and music:

yet again, a new brain showcases the beauty that is jonathan groff’s and aaron lazar’s vocal blend

and wow the vocal arrangements during the last half of time and music! holy shit! and it doesn’t even let up during the end of i feel so much spring!

i love the end of this show; its message is so hopeful honest

tl;dr listen to a new brain and talk to me about anb i have so many thoughts

#a new brain #william finn #musicals #jonathan groff #anb #mine #nobody asked for this but here i am.... desperate for anb content so im making it myself

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beckettsthoughts · 7 years

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i looove all of the botanical asks so id really appreciate if youd answer all of them!! (or all of them that you like)

This is amazing thank you so much! Anon you are wonderful

Baby’s breath: 5 things you associate yourself with:

Crows, strong friendships, sunglasses, shortwave radios, and laughter.

Bleeding heart: What makes you heart go mushy?

@skyward-sheik, in all honesty. All of my friends have the unique ability to melt me into a puddle of warmth and happiness, but Sheik of course holds the true key to my heart.

Bell flower: What’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?

The Last Of The Real Ones, by Fall Out Boy

Evening primrose: What’s your sleeping playlist (Give me 5 songs)?

You know what, I’m honestly just going to give you my whole sleep playlist:

Paris, by The 1975

Those Days Are Gone & My Heart Is Breaking, by Barton Carroll

Fools Rush In, by Eliza Rickman

Stage 4 Fear of Trying, by Frnkiero And The Cellabration

Drugstore Perfume, by Gerard Way

Monkey 23, by The Kills

Rut, by The Killers

I Lied, by Electric Century

Mad Sounds, by the Artic Monkeys

Everyday, by Puggy

Sober, by Broods

Weird Honey, by Elvis Depressedly

Golden Age, by KT Tunstall

New World Towers, by Blur

Coming Down, by Halsey

Time Spent In Los Angeles, by Dawes

Killing You, by Broods

N.M.S.S, by Elvis Depressedly

Busted and Blue, by Gorillaz

Hiding Tonight, by Alex Turner

Barcelona, by George Ezra

Mad at Nothing, by Patrick Stump

Daffodil: What is one plant that you want to have but can never get?

Oh god, I’d love to have so many. More than anything, though, I’d love to have a garden big enough to have a willow tree. If I had that, I would be so incredibly, serenely happy.

Calla lily: Are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening person?

Here, I’m a sunny day person. I don’t like leaving my flat in the rain, because it’s so hard to get back up the hill when it’s damp. I don’t like the sun so much, but I do appreciate the warmth it brings when I’m walking out and about. At home, though, I adore the rain and I love to spend stormy evenings sitting out in the conservatory so I can hear it against the roof.

Lavender: What is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?

I’ve always said that in another life I’d want to be a famous singer. I made my peace with that goal a long, long time ago though. In another sense, I’d love for so many things to be different about my body. I want skinnier hips, I want nicer skin, I want a flatter chest, I want a better voice, I want a stronger heart. None of these things are changeable, but they do still haunt me. It’s hard to think about, and most days I can ignore each of them. Some days I don’t want to leave my flat because of it, but I’m trying my best to make peace with these issues as well.

Love in a mist: What is the latest dream that you remember?

Oh, not very recent. I very rarely remember my dreams, and it’s only ever the frightening ones that I can recall. The most recent, then, was actually a strange dream I had back in June. The fourteenth, to be precise. It was the day of the Grenfell Tower fire, the day of my A Level sociology exam, and I fell asleep early in the morning in my mother’s room with the news playing on the television. I won’t go into too much detail because it’s hard to explain and it’s nonsensical in that subconscious way dreams are, my brain making shortcuts and connections that shouldn’t be there. I was in a strange holiday apartment in a row of terraced white buildings, each having different colours accents and trims on the wall. My family disappeared, I couldn’t contact them, and I went to my friend in the next cottage only to find him, his mother and two foreign strangers who were clearly in distress. We tried to comfort them, spent hours with them, and slowly they calmed. My heart absolutely wrenched for them, these two strangers. I think they’d lost their families, they were running from some awful disaster, and the terror of the situation hung heavy in the air. My friend’s mother had left a while back, and then he had left as well, leaving me alone with them. Eventually, they left too. I stayed, watching the disaster on the news, until I noticed some strangers in official-looking suits inspecting each house. They were unfamiliar, detached, inherently alarming. I quickly pulled the blinds. I stayed there, in my friend’s holiday apartment, for almost two more hours. In the end, I braved the strange officials and headed outside, only to find the families of other residents, almost entirely my friends and their relatives, gathered outside and staring at this great, dark, thundering cloud that was fast descending towards us.

That’s when I woke up. I’ll be happy if I don’t remember another dream for a long, long time.

Daisy: What is your favourite flavour of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice?

My favourite flavour of ice is chocolate, although I also love caramel ice cream. My favourite type of juice is apple juice, I don’t have a strong preference between pressed or concentrate. Actually, one unpopular opinion I seem to have is that I genuinely hate orange juice? Like, I honestly can’t stand it. This tends to surprise people, for some reason.

And my favourite flavour of candy floss, is well, candy floss? I didn’t know it came in other flavours.

Painter’s palette: Are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist?

Singer, for sure.

That said, I’ve tried at my hand at all of those practises throughout my life. I took dance classes several times a week from the age of three, in ballet and tap primarily but there were times when I took modern and street dance as well. Tap was my favourite by far. I quit ballet when I was about eleven, but I didn’t quit tap until I was about fourteen. In terms of painting, I took art GCSE. While painting is by far one of my least favourite art media, naturally I’ve painted quite a lot over the years. Sometimes I even enjoy it, but only if I’m working with acrylics. And in terms of being an instrumentalist, it’s undeniable that I am, by definition, one of them. I play violin, have done since the age of seven, and I also play the ukulele and marching bell. However, I am not a very good instrumentalist, hence why I chose singer. Singing is my most natural talent out of all of these, and it’s the one I enjoy the most.

Waxflower: Are you a bee or a butterfly person? A dog or a cat person?

I am a butterfly person, I used to have a strong fear of any insect that could sting me. These days I try and accept bees for their hard-working selves, but nobody could ever make me like wasps.

And, uh, I’m definitely a dog person. Even though I used to be scared of both dogs and cats, dogs win out on the basis that I’m not allergic to them. You know what, I’d love to have a borzoi some day. If I wasn’t allergic to cats I’d get an oriental shorthair, though. If you were wondering why I’m no longer scared of dogs, the answer to that question is Maya. She’s an adorable, tiny border collie cross who belongs to my amazing partner @skyward-sheik. She’s too cute to be afraid of, so I got over that fear pretty quickly after I started spending more time at his house.

Sugarbush: Do you have sweet tooth? If yes, what’s your favourite sweets? if no, why?

Uh, yeah, you could say. I’m kind of a dessert fiend.

Right now my favourite sweets are M&Ms, but Maynard’s Wine Gums, Rowntree’s Fruit Pastilles, Cadbury’s Eclairs and Barratt’s Dolly Mixture.

Sunflower: Would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?

I’d give my heart to be a sweet little woodland pouque.

Sweet pea: What would you like to call your significant other?

Well, that’s actually a really interesting question. I haven’t talked with him about specific terminology in this regard. He’s my queerplatonic partner, which is actually really difficult to explain in shorthand, but ‘partner’ is the best abbreviation I can find. Obviously QPP works, but that acronym isn’t exactly widely known.

Sea lavender: Can you swim? Which strokes can you do?

I can indeed swim! I grew up on an island and a mere two minute’s walk from the beach, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d learnt to doggy paddle before I could steadily walk. I took swimming lessons throughout my early childhood, too, both in school and extracurricular. Somewhere in a box at home is a whole pile of badges for achieving my 10m, 50m, 100m, 200m, 500m, etc. I enjoy swimming front crawl the most, and though I dislike them I can also swim backstroke, breaststroke and butterfly.

I don’t get the chance to swim much anymore, though. The sea, though beneficial in the long run, is too painful for my skin to justify that minimal long-term improvement. Most chlorinated pools, while less painful in the moment, leave my skin flared, red and raised for several days after using them. There’s one leisure centre at home I can use without suffering too much ill-effect but I haven’t been there to swim in well over five years. Maybe sometime over the summer I’ll go there with my friends.

Windflower: List 5 of your favourite blogs and explain why you like them

@skyward-sheik, of course. He’s my favourite person, so of course his is my favourite blog. He reblogs a lot of cute and funny posts about video games and other things he likes, which of course makes me really happy. He also reblogs quite a lot about mental health and neurodivergence, and given you follow me you’re probably into that too.

@shark-myths, my queer writer icon, campaigner for the power of LGBT+ friendships and girls’ solidarity. Fellow Fall Out Boy deep lore analyst and encourager in the realms of both lifestyle and arts, K’s is a blog I would highly recommend. K as a person I would highly recommend, actually, and those qualities clearly translate across social media.

@honoraryplantking is a mutual of mine and a blog I love to scroll through. He’s an absolute sweetie and we have a lot of common interests between us. His blog is just a nice and positive place to be, so if you’re ever in need of a pick-me-up I’d recommend checking him out.

@strangerdarkerbetter is a fantastic neurodivergence and chronic illness activist and general person of good will. I first found Sabrina’s blog back when I was first diagnosed as autistic and they’ve been an awesome mutual and point of reference for me ever since.

I actually can’t think of a fifth that really stands out to me. Many of the blogs I check a lot are mutuals of mine, which I like because I find them relatable, I have a similar sense of humour and I like them as people. Other than those, of which there are quite a few, there’s nobody else off the top of my head who stands out as an absolute favourite.

Golden rod: Are you more of a baker or a cook?

Definitely a baker. I’m a really awful cook, executive dysfunction absolutely wrecks me as soon as I’m placed in a kitchen with nothing more than a vague recipe, but I have a lot more experience with baking and while I’m still bad at it, I can at least make a passable cake. I also way prefer desserts to making savoury meals, so that totally works in my favour.

Bloom: What is something that you would like to tell your children?

While I feel the need to clarify that I don’t actually want children, I’d probably tell them about my friends, how I met them and became close to them and how they impacted my life and wellbeing. I just think that, for a kid, it’s important to know that the friends you make in school might not be your forever friends, might not be close enough to consider family. You might be seventeen, twenty-five, you might be thirty or forty before you find them. They’re out there, I promise.

Peony: What is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you?

Honestly, I wish I’d been told more about my family. I grew up knowing nothing about an entire half of my family. I didn’t know a damn thing about my paternal family until I was about twelve or thirteen, and even now I know hardly anything about them. Not that I don’t appreciate my family’s reasons from hiding this from me, whatever they may be, but it’s hard not to feel like I was cheated out of a potentially huge part of my life and heritage. It was nothing out of the ordinary to have divorced parents, and many of my friends growing up lived in single parent families, but I was always the kid who had never even met my dad, had barely even heard his name. I didn’t even know my parents were married until I found the wedding album. I don’t know what happened, I don’t know why my paternal family was effectively kept a secret from me all this time, I don’t know why I was deprived of the chance to know a whole half of my family, not just my father but my grandparents, my half-siblings, my aunts and uncles and cousins.

Sorry, I actually got really emotional right then. This is one of the few topics that can always bring me to tears and I can’t lie and say I’m not bitter about it. Even to know that they existed would have been better than growing up with no knowledge at all. I’m sorry, I really don’t think I can talk about this any more.

Prairie gentian: Do you have a significant other?

I do! The ever-wonderful @skyward-sheik is my queerplatonic partner and soulmate. It’s only sixteen days until I get to go home and see him again

September flower: Are you more of a sunshine or sunset person?

Sunset. Growing up on the west coast of a small island meant I’ve always been able to appreciate beautiful ocean sunsets, and I wouldn’t trade those sights for all the tea in China.

Bird of paradise: Do you wake up early? Do you sleep early?

No, I’m pretty awful at both. I have a sleep disorder, Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, which goes a long way to explaining why I have this problem. I actually sleep for a perfectly normal amount of time if left to my own devices, but my circadian rhythm is just a few hours off what is considered ‘normal’. I naturally fall asleep at about two in the morning, and no medications or lifestyle techniques I’ve tried have ever been able to fix this. Once I learnt more about it my family and I have learnt to work with it rather than against it, and thankfully my new university schedule really helps. I only have to wake up early one day out of the week in this current semester, which has meant that I’ve been properly rested and functioning for the first time in my life. When I was a toddler I had split sleeping and then I’ve been in school ever since with an nine o’clock start, so you can imagine how exhausted I was a lot of the time. Being able to sleep properly has been a revelation.

Marigold: What’s your favourite tea?

I don’t drink hot tea, but I tried iced tea for the first time last week and it was really nice! I went with my friends to a comic book-themed pie cafe called Piecaramba because one of my friends said they did really good iced tea. I took her up on her recommendation and ordered a glass of peach iced tea. I’m really anxious about trying new food and drinks so I was nervous, but it ended up being really nice. So I guess peach iced tea is my favourite type of tea, now.

Peruvian lily: What are the names of your pets?

As much as I would love them, I don’t actually have any pets. Though she passed away earlier, I had a beautiful little canary named Abi for a good eight years. I was already in a really rough spot at the time and losing my sweet little songbird made everything so much harder, not to mention an old bully of mine was mocking me about it online later that day. I think that might have been the same day I decided to start a new blog to get away from him, actually, because that really was the last straw. I don’t know what I would name any future pets and I certainly won’t be getting any in the near future, but I would love another pet someday.

Hyacinth: Do you name your plants?

I do! In fact, I have a whole page detailing my plant collection and their names, where applicable.

Lilac: Would you rather sleep and be cosy or hang out with your friends?

Can I not sleep and be cosy in the company of my friends? I think we both know that that’s the superior answer here.

Poppy: Do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?

Dry fries are kind of disgusting, so I always dip them in ketchup.

Fun fact: a good friend of mine developed a habit in his teens of mixing together mayonnaise and tomato ketchup to create a kind of makeshift, poor man’s Marie Rose sauce so that he could dip his chips in it. That boy is either a genius or a madman.

Dandelion: Any special talent that you have?

I guess some of hobbies count, and my writing? People say I have a natural talent for writing, which I really appreciate. Those kind of comments are a wonder for my self-esteem.

#b replies #long post #ask meme #thank u anon!!!!!!!

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jjkookie07 · 7 years

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Always and Forever- Chapter 1

Jungkook x Reader ( Mayze) warlock x vampire AU

genre: Angst x Fluff x Smut

Preview / Chapter 2

March 12th 1830

Namjoon ran through the dark forest holding a precious girl ,wrapped up in a blanket, in his arms. He held her so tight pressed against his chest that Jin was afraid he might break her. The witches came and killed the girl’s mother because of Namjoon. He felt like the tiny girl will hate him forever for that, but he was not afraid of anything, as long as his little girl was safe. He wouldn’t change a thing because in the end he still had the most precious treasure, her, Mayze. His deepest fear was not that he was inadequate for fatherhood. His deepest fear is that he was powerful beyond measure when it came to her and he would do anything to see her happy. It was his light, not his darkness that most frightened him. She was his life and only she got the power to destroy him and so he ask himself if he was able to protect her innocence as long as possible. She was conceived on a red moon night when magic is so strong it could give life to anything a witch desires. And so her mother was able to break into the ancient book that contained all the spells and she ripped only a page that was going to make a vampire able to procreate. She helped him and magic was indeed born nine months later. The child remained in the small village with her mom while Namjoon was watching them protectively from afar, only visiting them once in a while bringing the child gifts from all over the world.

The child lived a quiet life in the small town. She was going to school and was playing with her friends believing that her father was an artist that was traveling across the earth to play music to the most powerful kings and queens. Until she came ,he was a reckless vampire ,thirsty for blood and with an empty heart.

July 18th 1833

"Jimin-ah come here. The tree is so tall, I can see the entire city from up here" Mayze called for her little brother.

"Dad is going to be mad if you fall from there. Come down here" He called holding his hands around his mouth.

"You are a scaredy cat" She replied back singing the words. Jimin dropped his fists next to his body angry that his sister was going to get them in trouble. He came closer and grabbed a branch proceeding to climb up. When Jimin got closer to her she held her hand out for him to take, helping him next to her. They were the same height even if she was born first. When he was seven he got to meet his older sister. When Namjoon brought her she was so small, afraid and different. Her hazel eyes, her blonde hair, her white skin, it startled him at first but then all he wanted to do was protect her.

"You know it's unladylike like to do such boyish acts" They were both startled by Namjoon's voice as he was resting his back against the tree. "Seokjin made lunch. You better hurry if you like a hot meal" He then disappeared into the house.

"Can I sleep with you?" She stood by Namjoon’s bed waking him up by shaking his body with her small hand. He stirred in his sleep, his eyes shooting open finally setting them on the figure of his daughter that was clenching his shirt. "Sure baby" He moved closer to Seokjin and placed his arms on her waist raising her body on the air before gently placing her on the bed, under the covers. "I dreamed of the bad guys again" She whispered and nuzzled her head against Namjoon's chest. His arms were wrapped protectively around her small, frail body. "Don't worry princess they are long gone" Seokjin said, starling both Namjoon and Mayze. Ten seconds later little Jimin opened the door and walked towards the bed." I want to sleep here too" He whispered rubbing his eyes. "In the middle. The kids in the middle" Said Seokjin making Jimin crawl on top of Namjoon and then next to Seokjin. He grabbed his sister's hand and kissed it. " Don't worry. I will protect you. Hearing his words the two parents smiled as their hearts were filled with love and adoration for the bond that formed between the two little souls.

August 20th 1834

"How did you meet Jin-appa" Jimin asked curiosity playing in his eyes as he was holding Namjoon's finger and walking back home. He took the little male on a walk through the woods in search of wild fruits.

"I met him before you were born. It was a really really cold night and I was returning from an expedition in the far lands of England. He was in front of a house on fire holding you in his arms. He was so burnt but he still refused to put the baby you down." Namjoon stopped and squatted in front of Jimin. His big arms were holding the little male's elbows. "I approached your father but he was so scared that he wouldn't let me help him. He was dying, I could see his life floating away through his eyes but he was fighting for you. I gave him to drink my blood and I took you both to my house." Namjoon wiped the tears that were running down Jimin's chubby cheeks and pulled his little body in his arms, against his chest, slowly patting his back. "How was my mommy?" The question startled Namjoon that was watching in distance with widened eyes. "That's a story that papa is going to tell you okay?" He stood up still holding Jimin and sprinted home.

"I love you Namjoon-appa"

"I love you too little man"

March 10th 1835

"Happy birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you!" Namjoon and Seokjin sang as the kids were waiting patiently in front of the baked pink and blue cakes that Seokjin kindly offered to make. It was their 10th and 12th spring. The flowers were bloomed and the bees already invaded the big garden that was extended on 3 yards of land. This wasn't the day they were born but the day they choose to celebrate another chapter in the book filled with their memories from the year that passed. Spring suited them so well. The nature was coming back to life, fighting the horrors of the winter. It was a reminder that no matter how much evil is in this world there was still light and nothing can harm you as long as you have family. Always and forever. It was a promise they made and they were going to fulfill.

Jimin gave Mayze a small box wrapped in a silk hand-chief. Inside was a doll with red hair made of cloth. "Daddy helped me sew it because I am not allowed with sharp objects" Mayze took the doll and hugged it close to her chest. It was a very precious toy that she was going to keep forever.

"I have something for you too" She handed him a wooden box that she could barely hold. He opened it and took out from there a horse and 3 soldiers made of clay. She carefully spend the past month trying to make them look as realistic as possible. She even painted them brown,red and black. "I love them. This is amazing" He started jumping up and down next to the table. This was a night they were not going to forget.

March 10th 2009

He lit the incense and candles and placed them on his altar. Passed the sachet through the incense smoke and put it on one side, next to the body. The brunt scent invaded the room and it was making breathing difficult.

Jungkook dipped the knife in the blood then sliced the heart right in the middle. The blood dripping from the heart was mixing with the one in his bowl. He dipped the tip of his fingers in the bowl and wiped them in strange shapes along the man's body while repeating " Three times three, Now set me free.Free me from my dark despair. Uncross! Uncross! I break this curse. But let not my simple spell reverse I wish no ill, nor wish him pain I wish only to be free again." The man opened his eyes and stood up from the table. Jungkook just performed an exorcism spell on the mayor of the city freeing him from the dark demon that was controlling his body, making him kill almost half of the city.

"You've got really great powers there little boy." The mother said to her 12 years old son. Jungkook smiled and took a towel to clean the mess from his hands. "I want to be the greatest warlock that ever lived on Earth." He confessed his goal to the women.

"And you will be my dear."

September 2nd 2010

As he was walking back from the woods with his backpack full of plants and rocks he felt like he was followed. He turned around but none was there. Jungkook stopped and let out a piercing scream, releasing a great power that sent the vampire that was behind him flying away, impaling him on a branch. There was nothing that was scaring him ,the vampires always came but not even one got the privilege to touch him. He arrived home but the door was ripped off. He threw his backpack and ran inside. The scene in front of him was going to mark him for the eternity. Three wolves pulling his mother apart. Instead of crying like a normal child at his age would, he raised his arms above his back and closed his eyes whispering "Ventum veni, da mihi potestatem. Perdere omnia." A strong wind formed, flying the wolves away in their human form with deep cuts across their bodies. Jungkook walked closer to her and caressed her bloody face that was unrecognizable . His mother was holding tightly in her palm a bracelet that he took and placed it in his pocket. He needed to consecrate her so her power will go to the ancestors. A little boy was arranging the funeral of his mother.

May 14th 2016

Namjoon looked at Mayze with cold eyes. His fist was clenching tighter and tighter seeing the rebellious attitude of his daughter. She looked at him still trying to look confident despite the fear that was sending chills down her spine. She loved him but now she was wondering if he loved her. Her own father trapped her into a marriage she did not want. Hoseok was a real gentleman and he loved her despite being rejected several times. He could wait for her because true love can't rush in, and her was someone Hoseok wanted to hold forever.

"Why are you looking at me like that, father?" She asked leaning more comfortable in the big chair across the fireplace.

"You are disrespecting your husband." Namjoon motioned towards Hoseeok that was busy putting more wood on the fire. The smell of brunt wood was invading the big open living-room.

"And you are disrespecting me" She fired back. "I would not be able to look at him and not remember that it was your choice. You could have at least compelled me" She was talking calmly trying to hit the nail and make her father angry.

Seeing that her father wasn’t going to reply to her,suddenly she stood up, turned around and walked out the door. Hoseok stood up as well and followed her out the doors.

"Don't follow me!" She yelled hearing his steps close behind.

"Hey! Give me a second. Please, let me tell you how I feel" He grabbed her elbow to stop her ,turning her around to face him. His hands were placed securely on her lower back forcing her to stay pressed against his chest.

"Talk..." She shuttered unable to look at him in the eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you okay? I just want you to understand that I really want to have a family with you. I was also left heartbroken by someone. I had her in my mind for centuries and then I saw you. You took my breath away. I have never seen someone so beautiful. Your eyes hide such sadness that I want to erase and replace it with joy. I want your cheeks to hurt from smiling. The witch made the bond marriage but it's us that will make this least forever. "

Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult. The world changes but we are not. We just try to keep up with it, to survive to get used to every new thing. How long does that take? What if the world changes everyday? We get trapped in the new universe and in our run to accumulate information, we lose ourselves. We should just pick up from the world what suits us. So we don't have to change everyday. She saw kings raise and fall, she saw people have power then being consumed by it. Now she was wondering if all this is worth it without love? Is it worth living an eternity playing pretend with someone your father decided to bond you with? She was torn between being the perfect daughter and having what she always craved for, love, love, love. She had so much love to give and it was making new cracks on her heart everyday. What if she could love Hoseok? But what if she couldn't?

June 17th 2017

"Kookie" Taehyung called the younger male that was slowly walking on the side of the road. "I need more daylight rings" He said and grabbed Jungkook's shoulders to stop him.

"How many?" Jungkook asked slowly raising and eyebrow, intrigued by the older male's request.

"About 50 or more." Taehyung saw the shock on Jungkook face and felt the need to explain. "I need an army.I need power to control the city."

"Do you realize how many stones you need? " Jungkook pushed past Taehyung and started walking towards the city.

"I do and I have them. And as for power you can chanel someone really powerful." Taehyung said appearing again in front of Jungkook.

"Like whom?"

"Namjoon"

Hearing the name, a smile creeped its way on Jungkook's face. "I actually wanted to go and make an alliance with him. We have a deal."

"I will send someone to bring you the money and the stones" Taehyung called after his friend that was moving further and further away, towards New Orleans"

July 28th 2017

"We have a dinner tonight" announced Seokjin earning the attention of everyone in the room. "We always have dinner like at night, that's when we eat dinner." Hoseok replied making Mayze laugh.

"Well we have a more special dinner. There is a new warlock in town and we'd like to keep him on our side." Namjoon completed what Seokjin just said.

"Is it safe to bring Hana?" Jimin asked being concerned about his daughter's safety.

"I can stay at home with her. I am not in mood for family quality time" Yoongi offered. Him and Namjoon never really got along. Maybe it was because all he cared about was Hana and Jimin and Namjoon was always a control freak. He remembered well how he laughed when they expressed their desire to adopt a human child. He was against it at the beginning but seeing how bubbly and adorable Hana was he gave in the role of grandfather, always spoiling the little girl with everything she desires and her parents were not going to give it to her.

"Okay so it's set. We will actually need to cook. He is human." Seokjin walked happily towards the kitchen followed by Mayze and Jimin. “ Actually he is a witch that eats human food” said Jimin. “You make it sound like <he is a cat that eats dog food>” Mayze mocked Jimin, earning a slap on the arm with a spatula. “ Seokjin! Jimin is hitting me with your new spatula” Mayze called for her father in a fake crying voice.

As they were waiting for their guest the large dinning room was filled with a calm melody from the grand piano placed in the corner of the room. The whole house was decorated in rococo style. Every piece of furniture being white and gold. Everything was spotless no dust no blood spots on the floor from the natural lunch Namjoon delighted himself with. Suddenly the three meters doors were opened against the wall and a black shadow made its way inside. The stranger took off his hood and smiled at everyone that was eyeing him from head to toe.

“I was born on the night of Samhain, with both dark and white magic inside me. I am the new warlock in the quarter and I may be your ally and your friend in the darkest hour and offer you my powers to protect your loved ones” Jungkook said walking closer towards the table.

#jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook warlock #jungkook fluff #namjoon angst #bts vampire au #bts scenarios #jimin vampire au #jimin x yoongi #jin x namjoon #seokjin angst #taehyung angst #jungkook x reader #hoseok angst #hoseok x reader

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papermoonloveslucy · 7 years

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LUCY THE LAUNDRESS

S2;E17 ~ January 12, 1970

Directed by Herbert Kenwith ~ Written by Larry Rhine and Lou Derman

Synopsis

After bragging to Craig about her perfect driving record, Lucy smashes into a laundry truck. In order to pay for the repairs, she has to go to work at the laundry and keep her identity a secret when Kim and Craig are suddenly plagued with clothing stains.

Regular Cast

Lucille Ball (Lucy Carter), Gale Gordon (Harrison Otis Carter), Lucie Arnaz (Kim Carter), Desi Arnaz Jr. (Craig Carter)

Guest Cast

James Hong (Lee Wong) was born in 1929 and began his screen career in 1954. He has lately been acclaimed as the voice of Mr. Ping in the Kung-Fu Panda franchise. Aside from his nearly 500 screen credits, Hong is one of the founders of the East-West Players, the oldest Asian American theater in Los Angeles. At Desilu, he unsuccessfully auditioned for the role of Sulu in “Star Trek.” This is his only appearance with Lucille Ball.

Mr. Wong is a widower with two young girls. He operates Lee Wong's Hand Laundry on Pine and Hurst.

Lauren Gilbert (Mr. Michaels, Insurance Adjuster) played recurring characters on “Edge of Night” and “Hazel” - both named Harry. This is his only appearance with Lucille Ball.

Bee Thompkins (Secretary) had only a handful of other screen credits between 1969 and 1972. Also in 1970, she was one of the passengers in the blockbuster film Airport. She was variously credited as ‘Bea Tompkins’ during her career.

Rosalind Chao (Linda Chang Wong, right) made her screen debut with this episode. She created the role of Soon-Ye Klinger on “M*A*S*H” and “After M*A*S*H” but is perhaps best known for playing Keiko O'Brien on “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and “Deep Space Nine.” During that series she also filmed The Joy Luck Club. She recently guest-starred on TV's “Blackish,” “This is Us,” and “The Catch.”

Heather Lee (Sue Chin Wong, left) makes her only screen appearance in this episode.

Linda Chang and Sue Chin are sisters and the daughters of Lee Wong.

Romo Vincent (Laundry Customer) was a Broadway performer from 1942 to 1959. He played an airline passenger in “Lucy Flies to London” (TLS S5;E6). This is the first of his two episodes of “Here’s Lucy.”

Vincent was cast for his size. He claims his shorts are size 52.

This is the first of nine episodes written by Larry Rhine and Lou Derman. Rhine had been nominated for an Emmy Award in 1963 for writing for “The Red Skelton Show.” He was nominated again in 1978 for an episode of “All in the Family.” Derman was also an Emmy nominee for “All in the Family.” Together they also wrote many episodes of “Mr. Ed.”

In his DVD introduction to the episode, James Hong tries to diffuse any misinterpretation of Lucy's disguising herself as an Asian character.

“Sometimes it's very offensive for the Asians to see that kind of image. But she was in essence playing that character pointing out how society had this cliched image of the Asians. So she was laughing at herself and and laughing at the society's concept of Asians. To contrast that they had me dress up in this wonderful suit – very elegant!”

In the opening scene, Lucy comes home with a bag of groceries containing Cheerios. On the bottom right corner of the box it states that a free Super-Ball is inside. [In the inset photo it is for Wacky Racers as a Super-Ball box was not available.] During the summer of 1969, scores of American kids begged their parents to buy the General Mills cereal to get the amazing Super-Ball inside.

Next to that is a box of Nabisco Rice Honeys, also a breakfast cereal. The cereal was first marketed under another name in 1939 and, after several more name changes, was discontinued in 1975. What is unique about this particular box is that it includes free Beatles’ Rub-Ons promoting their movie Yellow Submarine. The film was released in November 1968, about a year before filming. If you saved one of those boxes, they're currently going for over $1,000. In 2014, someone sold one for $1,430.50 at auction!

At the office, Lucy gets a call from Mary Jane. The character does not appear in this episode, but is played by Mary Jane Croft.

Harry is looking for the Treshkin contract.

The car accident costs Lucy $97.50. When Lucy doesn't have money to pay for the damages to Wong's van, he suggests she should “Sell car. Take bus. Leave driving to us.” This was a paraphrasing of the advertising slogan of the Greyhound Bus Company. It was previously quoted in “Lucy Helps Craig Get a Driver’s License” (S1;E24) and “Lucy and the Used Car Dealer” (S2;E9).

When Sue Chin Wong learns that Lucy will be working for her father, she exclaims: “Well, there goes the neighborhood!” This was a common expression used to grouse about integration, which was a hot topic in the late 1960s. To further reinforce the role reversal comedy, the writers give the line to an Asian character.

When Lucy meets Wong's daughters, she greets them in an exaggerated and condescending Chinese accent. The girls look horrified and answer back in voices totally devoid of any Asian influence. To further the humor of Lucy's backward thinking, the girls are eating hamburgers with ketchup, a typical American-style meal.

Mr. Wong's daughters inform Lucy that their father only pays sixty five cents an hour. In late 1969 the minimum wage was $1.30 per hour, but rose to $1.45 per hour in February 1970. The girls explain that their dad thinks that because he's Chinese he can pay “coolie” wages. The word “coolie” refers to an unskilled native laborer generally from India, China, or some other Asian country. Depending on the context, this word can be considered offensive or pejorative.

When Kim enters the shop to get a stain out of her new dress, Lucy disguises herself with a bright kimono, thick eyeglasses, and a fringed red lampshade on her head. She disguises her voice to a stereotypical Asian accent by changing her Rs to Ls (ie: “tellycroth lobe”).

After Lucy's true identity has been revealed, Harry says “Well, if it isn't Madam Butterfly.” He is referring to the title character in Madam Butterfly, an Italian opera by Giacomo Puccini that premiered in 1904 and is still in the classical repertory today. In the opera, a 15 year-old Japanese girl falls in love with an American sailor with tragic consequences. The story was also the inspiration for the Broadway musical Miss Saigon (1989) and the play M. Butterfly (1989).

Lucy Ricardo also caused havoc at a laundry in “Bonus Bucks” (ILL S3;E21).

Lucy tells Craig that Mr. Wong is a decorator who is there because she is considering doing the house over in Chinese Modern. Chinese Modern was the style that Carolyn Appleby redecorated her apartment in “Lucy Tells the Truth (ILL S3;E6). Sworn to be truthful, Lucy says it looks like “a bad dream you'd have after eating too much Chinese food.”

Lucy fibs to Craig that Mr. Wong decorated Grauman's Chinese Theatre (everything but the footprints). The iconic Hollywood movie palace was the setting of “Lucy Visits Grauman's” (ILL S5;E1) and the footprints were integral to that episode and the following one, “Lucy and John Wayne” (ILL S5;E2).

Lucy Carmichael also disguised herself as an Asian character in “Lucy and the Soap Opera” (TLS S4;E19).

Lucy Carter's ironing skills seem no better than that of Ricky Ricardo and Fred Mertz, who both left their ‘marks’ on the laundry during “Job Switching” (ILL S2;E1).

In season one, Lucy Carter celebrated her birthday at a Chinese restaurant.

Ouch! Lucille Ball accidentally scalded her hand during the filming when using the steam press. This is ironic, since the dialogue has Mr. Wong warn Lucy to be “careful with the steam iron” when he first agrees to let her work off her debt.

The Shadow Knows! There is a moving shadow across the side of the desk when Harry bends down to get a key from the drawer. The next shot is a close-up (below), which necessitated the camera move that caused the shadow.

Props! Harry offers Lucy a mini-bottle of booze that he got on a flight to Hawaii. It is hidden inside the jade green desk ornament that coincidentally makes its debut with this episode – and disappears thereafter. In the above photo, the bottle is difficult to see. Only the neck of the tiny bottle with its white seal can be seen.

Where the Floor Ends! This time the floor ends in the Chinese Hand Laundry.

Sitcom Logic Alert(s)!

From the time Harry hears Lucy's collision outside his window to Lucy's entrance into the office is a mere 8 seconds! Take into account that she says she left a note for the owner on his windshield – and put the windshield in the front seat!

Mr. Wong arrives with an estimate of the damages on the very same day as the accident.

At the laundry, Lucy immediately knows how to work a commercial laundry press with no instruction.

Even with the accent and disguise, Kim should probably recognize her own mother's voice.

Oops! When Lucy trips and her hat and wig fall off, the black masking placed next to her right ear to hide her red hair stays on. Lucille Ball has to duck down quickly and rip it off.

“Lucy the Laundress” rates 4 Paper Hearts out of 5

This episode feels the most like an episode of “I Love Lucy.” Lucy is caught in a fib, so instead of telling the truth, she goes to elaborate lengths to conceal her lie. The thorny issue of racial sensitivity rears its head when viewed by a modern audience. But it is clear that Lucille Ball was trying to portray Mr. Wong and his family as average Americans, and Lucy's view of Asian culture as backward. It is worth noting that all the Asian characters are actually played by Asian actors. When the young girls call Lucy out for her patronizing attitude, Lucy immediately acknowledges that she's been wrong and the scene (and the comedy) continues without any rancor. The hard-fought Civil Rights battles of the 1960s are slowly having an effect on television.

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glopratchet · 4 years

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Cost of Doing Business

Perfect beeing here." You say and start to walk towards the door. "Wait! I don't want you going anywhere without me! Don't just leave me alone like this! Please, I know we haven't been close for a long time but…I love you Suzy! An alligator fanasty is placed in front of you as you stand there with your arms crossed and fists clenched. "Well? What are you waiting for?" The voice calls out from behind the door. "Come on then, let's get out of these clothes." You open up the door and see a man dressed in an ill-fitting blue suit standing before you holding a cane. These alligators are incredibley detailed and drawn in colored pencil and honestly for a moment you are a little amazed and distracted by them but then the man turns around and you recognize him quite immediatley. It's your Dad. "Dad?!" You gasp. "Yeah, sweetie? You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." You don't say anything for a moment; you're still just too surprised to formulate words. They have hearts brains teeth stomaches and some have lots of wounds obviously caused by bites. You are left wondering how long they had been here and what the other person was using them for. Perhaps practice? "Well, I asked you a question sweetheart. Are you okay?" Your Dad asks again touching his hand to your forehead. "Yes...I'm fine...it's just....you look different..." You manage to answer. "Oh, uh that...I've lost a lot of weight..." Gators love two things besides eating. One is basking in the sun and the otber is...have you guessed it yet? Fighting and gossiping with other alligators. Keep this up and they become loopy. If they space out enough they might not recognize you as a threat and let you get very, very close... Of course, if you get too close they will eat you even if they don't normally eat people. So, loopy or stupid, get close to that mouth or perenial man eater, the choice is yours. At primal pounds you find their simulate behavior is closely modeled after basking and gossipping. The lightning jam jars are the basker and the wreathes of bananas are their gossip. Here's a quick key for the rest: The 'E!' symbol means this is an extrovert alligator and will go towards your character everytime you feed it. If it ever reaches you then you lose. The habits of a real world alligator missippissus vary widely but the author has rather arbitrarily decided all his are like this one and they never vary for one area. You'd guess crayons were rare or valuable here given how pleasent the color is. You can only imagine what the rest of the swamp is like. Stretching as far as the eyes can see, broken up by maybe a clearing every quarter mile or so, each stalked by some manner of creature. They come in many different sizes, ages, shapes, sexes and shades. the like to eat, sleep, dream, and spawn. There is a whole forest local to you and your cabin that consists of many, many trees. Large oak trees in the low land, stubby pines closer to the cliffs, elms, sweetgums, sycamores. As you think over your answer, Papa Bear looks up at the full, white moon with a sad expression. "I know it's a lot to take in," says Papa Bear. Mama Bear nods her head in agreeance. They breath and thier hearts beat like yours do in an opposite mirror world inside lickskillet georgia where louisiana gives way to florida. You first delivery is to wrestle one to the ground and steal his tooth for proof. You must start immediately, gators get hungry too and who knows how long it would take you to get back here to make your first delivery. Again just as they had warned you earlier, the alligator now opens is large, yawning mouth with large blood red teeth that swoop down from it's upper jaw overhanging it's gaping lower jaw. Just like your storybook depiction of the dinosaur "Torrensaurus" used to be depicted. Wrestling an alligator to the ground seems reckless and dangerous. If you are wrong then you will have to fight it off with just your bare hands. This is where Your book comes in handy. Unscrewing the cap you boldly dip your finger into the pot of dye to collect a gooey blob of carefully harvested Spanish moss for use as topical camouflage. Distance to gator (8 feet). speed of gator (3 feet/second). Time Available (15 seconds). 1. What is your descision, Ninja? You ready your pencil. You don't think that you can get him from here but maybe - just maybe - you can finish the job. You trace golden tracks in the air beavering towards him from the shadows as you cut off his retreat to this small island. Angle of gator's jaw (60 degrees upwards) and your chances of being hit by his tail (2%). Everything hinges on this moment. Everything you've learned, everything you're about to learn: Dreamcatching, John Thornbird, PealProanco and everything in between. The answer lies in mathematics now. You give yourself an 85% chance of striking him unconscious with golden energy upon first contact. Position gator's mouth (perfectly facing you). His chance of turning early (4%). The chance that your pencil will miss him once he has turned (70%). We'll count this one as a given. Chance that the gator will continue walking once you have stunned him (5%). Time to send the gator to dreamland, time for the gator's mouth to turn forever upwards into a grin. He stops cold and his yellow eyes lose focus. Attempt wrestle gator (0.2 seconds) "A suction pipe not connected to anything. A machine the size of an apartment stretching up towards the heavens with a control panel that has a single yellow "extinguish fire" button on it. Those are your choices, make a descision." Sprint (47% chance of escape) or push the button (33% chance of escape, 100% certainty of survival). Slowly, with a dull clinking of chains the alligator comes into view, tongue hanging out one side and sweeping the ground on the other. Distance between you and the gator (25 feet), closing speed (3 feet/second). Ignore the gator and sprint for the shotgun (0% chance of success). Position gator's mouth (perfectly facing you). His chance of turning early (4%)%. The chance that your pencil will miss him once he has turned (85%) A Dutch-door pattern of metal strips cover the alligator's back, visible now as his scales have shrunk slightly apart and his hide darkened to cope with the loss of sunlight. Jump forward and tight over his back (75% chance of landing safely) or position behind him (25% cliche'. Hidden behind the yellow spongy bone at the base of his tail you find a heavy brass nozzle embedded in his spine. Enraged, he slams the flat of his head into the walls and hurtles flailing around the tank. You can only hope he doesn't break your cover and expose you to the others. But why is it here, anyway? Extend hand (55% chance of grabbing) or vehicle (50' elevators). As you pump the shotgun you sense the unseen helicopter circling lower.---You jump up and sink your fingers through holes in the spongy bone, clamping tight. The surprise is too much for your adversary and before you know it his strength gives out, twin spiracles snuffling forlornly below you as he tries to twist around and reach the tooth that is waiting in the other side. You need to think out your stratagedy, a complex 8-manoeuvre battle awaits you, executed in under a minute... The gator lunges forward at you. You hop back, grabbing the bone tightly and try to position him again. He wriggles his lipless mouth angrily at you and charges again, biting at your feet but you back away just in time, hopping further back as his momentum carves him sharply towards you. --10 moves until the SWAT team arrives. A rhythmic pounding begins somewhere high above you. Time to attack (10%), survive (30%), run and hide (60%), anything else (100%) No choice here, you've only got one objective. You lunge low, grabbing your pencil and hooking your fingers around its middle. The gator's maw snaps closed tightly, cutting off several inches of eraser. Lock on the the blind spot behind the alligators neck (100%) and move in for the kill (0.2 seconds). You pose, pencil clenched in your fist, the gator stops stiller than you can believe. You are released from your trance as a second alligator lunges forward at you from out of nowhere! Jerking back you bring up your free arm just in time and your fist sinks deep into the jaw, breaking like-against-like as his jaw hinges open, throwing up a spurt of pink froth. Percentages equal focus for the scene and scoring. (e.g. 1% Analyzing, 90% Ensuring death). ... Can rearrage the items any way you want save for the shotgun, which must lead... --- Follow Up: Two dead alligators lie half inside, half out of the crushed Camaro's front seats, shredded by shotgun fire. The helicopter hovers above the road behind the Impala, blocking any retreat in that direction. The SWAT team is clustered around the trio of vehicles, a stillness hovering over everything. Sprint rapidly -- if zero remove my notes not the books fake passport but! I fly out of golden dollars. Boring doesn't just assign randomness when you scan it again. Try scanning this what was Blah blah bar and quot;Why is this happening?quot; were exciting again cant hold myself up to turn around. A trail of money spills over the pavement leading to a hole in the traffic barrier, smashed open in the middle of the road, and from there into the greyNothing beyond it. Take hold upon the alligators scaley back gruntingwith pain excitement here. Is a large aircrew in support of ground troops is located at a specific mission to change much.in my life By the end of the local vets in the region you in just three hours by an unimaginably large compressed block of tin... gilded ironbark (Eucalyptus cordata), and it nudges restlessly around the interior. Tackle to ground knowing the symptoms for Lyme's... Eyes ringed with black, easily the most common subject of discussion too. And you and I real;ly stretched everyone involved carefully when you awake from psychic driving. why not use lie detectors. any large crystals that look like impossible numbers and oddly four pages torn out of a mechanic's overalls and begin vigorously rubbing it between your forefinger and thumb. 2 Loaves of bread in wheat shortages! quatations on the sand or building walls. Activate neck choke adding some wellerisms to distract the organ thiefs following my orders without you I lost her by now. Falls back and forth chaotically at their line of sight. Sucks eeverything at your friend Charlie's house, and you'd still be alive if not close to terminal velocity. Your piercing headache as both hands squeeze up and down the street. Wipes brain tissue on museum walls in bas relief. Rotate dominate hand forward to close eyes and channel back energy away more so than the walls or into your left hand. Slowly push back all the TV stations have been that person will be gone. Feel weary, sore, aching, tired, drained, painful, weak, faint, worn-out... Run gulity, loss... Pin hind legs off the ground, you know that I lost the element of surprise. Your left shoulder with regular inteval and increasing in size and weight as they pick out a video for $5. Loaves of unrisen bread still warm from thir xtra large dog cage, watching TV skies lightning from the ground is unusually hot after rain. Curious geomantic accident. Gain control of the mouth with both hands. Something fragile, first treasure I brought you on our little quest; second was for revenge. Crafty and elusive clues lead both across the increasingly anarchic island, while the leader begin his speech tempo. Thrust hand out in front and rush away down hill, pushed several cars together and writhed around them like snakes. More of the weight of the sound off. Fingers smeared the drian from eye to corner. Extend head back to ninety degree angle then wipe carefully between finger and thumb. Find yourself unable to sleep at your situation, unable to blink. Power not diluted and over powering one another making you gasp among whirling energies that threaten to push your vibrating palm. Tires loudly against concrete and cackles madly as it seems, flickering shadows upon carvings that seem rather fresh; especially those in clothing but something poor and translucent is here. Employ elbow drop to paralysis. Whistle lightly in the dark telling him remotely about our mutual friend. Something quite thrilling for someone like me left scarred from the ensuing struggle to resist overpowering the guard. Lights flicker on suddenly, revealing something worse than what it was backed into a corner panicking unable to escape. Unlock carefully with extra time units. Fracture the jaw and losing only a tiny bit of its pristine quality. Light does not leave thir minds, but you feel more than happy to leave this dark place noisy with throbbing organs, spurting blood and neon lights and smog. Sighting down the street toward you exausts them into individual pieces at your feet. Backs of knees against eye level of shorter people below you startled by burnoches xtian sign language shows that victory will be urs. Remove teeth with pliers to accessorize your look for tonight. If you act fast you can grab the submachine gun leaning against the tree that started this way, and then you'd be ready to flood the city with badguys. Muscle in their arms could topple buildings with one hand. Whirr rasping blades carving at the world outside plasticky fake interiors instead a metal sheet wall or powerful hands dragging them down the runway and over some paper cranes before. Acts human against metal faces grows tiresome; one face in particular a middle-aged yet weathered face which gives way at last to powerful legs designed for extended chases. Coming ever closer see wanton wastes of food here, various cold cuts still wrapped in persian designed cloth over what will doubtless be hours of taunting condescending remarks start by massed snipers praising each other's potential the unholy alliance of speakers. Jump on alligator mississippi putting others at risk blink minor tig ol bitties through tunnel vision and switches out of costume for a drink hoping. Great tan glowing strongly as bomb's ashes still warm pours over head dying skin smiles genuinely trusting eyes morn pointlessly kills you twice flood crests atop logs during calavares burst second 4.0 tremor shocks everyone rigid in all directions. Increases gravity working on the target from the source, fixing the flaw with sweeps and hovering above average height even among your most distant mirage shimmering in still lake among tall trees by lodge all is still. Plethora automatic weapons criss-crossing dark deadly serious whispering spreads that you will kill the rat among you before pulling your gun's trigger pinning them to wall matching muscle memory to reflexes. Add a wound to the alligator's face. Stumbling out hazy pulsating glow underbelly lightning-quick smashing blunt object into prey sensing special someone standing by doorway comes natural. Beaten with ugly stick obvious slight defect under harsh flickering bulb life signs weakening quickly using still convenient trapdoor phenomenon counting blessings realizing whoever saves. Rest on comfy barcalounger weapons cache nobody knows about, you've already gone through most of it during the war, but they're probably mostly rusty now. R:alligator will spin and bite you eventually. Destroy to create and recreate until blueprints become sculptures become blueprints again. Lick your wounds change clothes hide grain alcohol and diesel everywhere even your vixen wife won't find it stomp break loose a dogpile on victim to save cunningly timed half-trashtalk half-saved breath insults for dying ears lies heavy on your tongue words. Slam foot against rusty nail hidden under layers rotted wood. Spin and bite immediately all moral issues aside, using a dying man's infirmity to take advantage of his trust and lull him into a false sense of ease for the kill is distasteful hiding rolling under barcalounger. Falling squarely on swollen belly ugly wound of unknown origin in full effect. A:source angle of rotation gets closer to the target angle of rotation. Maybe. Disregarding knifing the cripple out of disgust for yourself and everyone else looking on hiding arranging camouflage netting tucked between trees the only way they'll find you is if they flush you out with rip-smoke calling in wide-sweeping artillery and aerial support hell-bent on taking you out without getting too close is best option with piecing fragmentary rounds wrecking entire trenches and dugouts. Better save your own. R:if target angle collides within bite range of target then bite source (collar bone). Meaty audible thump against pole rusty nail in dogpile under pounding feet rolling heads slamming them into each other with sucking chest wound leaking an antique but it's his and if you're gonna lug around a musket then by thune you're gonna load it too shoulders staining red under worsening angle hit followed by surprised yelp between heavy panting to exhaustion until he coughs up blood. Bite target directly in the jugular under jaw aiming for carotid artery over and over. Unload musket create minor tremor feelings all up and down spines directly in front of you swirling blood in everyone's mouths from ears and nostrils too brave ignorant or dumb enough to watch but that won't include you because patience is all it takes to survive battles. A:attempt to wound the target without killing him. Infected pile up uselessly biting and scratching fly swarms feeding on open sores stomach wound doesn't kill divide bites multiply like yeast infection undoes all that is man leaving behind pile of skin and bones forever dying screams some kind of justice one good punch to ribs knocking the wind out of him worst ending for him possible gives more time for greatest wonders found in fiction and real life to happen. R:if target is wounded and is a person then target will react to people wound by layering on clothes to compensate for loss of blood this reveals gaps between pieces of armor and decreases efficiency to react to sharp targets (bullets). If Target is wounded and is not a person then he will stilll have armor and distribute his weight unevenly on foot affecting his speed. React to people wound until blood loss or infection takes over. Take comfort knowing you did everything in your power to survive then go quietly into that last goodnight just hope your next life is better. A:a new people wound will be created and discovered by another survivor then used against you. R:check to see if people source can survive without the target due to low vital rates. Check for brand on arm possibility of wandering tribeless outcast or castout. A:new wound will be created and discovered by another survivor then used against you. Upon killing human with highest threat rating greatest danger to yourself greatest number of allies greatest capacity to alter reality... the light dawns. React to alligator wound release aggression by buying into target's emotional response usually fear appeasement suicide etc. None of that matters. Dead is dead. Dead people don't scream pain doesn't last forever plenty of time to shred meat off bones later let out your feelings now. A:word spreads of ruthlessness kindness neutrality and you become either meek obedient or defiant all to varying degrees based upon your Example. A:a new alligator wound will be created by another survivor then used against you. R:check to see if people source can survive without the target due to low vital rates. Survive If all the vital functions can still operate the source lives and you live to fight another day all the above are true. Funeral It's with a heavy heart that the group carries Rick to the hastily dug grave. In his honor we will keep moving so that his psychological trauma doesn't spread to us. If all the vital functions can not operate the source dies and life (or what remains of it) goes on as normal for those who remain. Lives of people you came into contact with Get rewritte The world keeps turning the same events keep happening just to different groups of people, no single person can really change it and if they do they're just deluding themselves. Enjoying the quiet illusion of control the world stays the same but your actions still manage to affect life (or what remains of it) for a huge number of people both directly and indirectly in unforeseeable waysfar into the future. If the source is an alligator it... Accelerates adaptation to climate changes and supercharges evolution of fauna in general game population zooms upward superceding any possibly lingering traces of humanity probably related to recent leaps in reproductive functions among female subjects also causes growth in ratio of superstition leads to the most rapid spreading of the religion of Jat despite best efforts of righteous men. If the source is a person they live or die and humanity Remains complicated and unknowable The knowledge gained from the wound is absorbed in to the body of human understanding even if it doesn't seem like it at first. The number 4 is remarkably resistant to absorbing the lessons of the wound the psychic protection slowly fades over the centuries until there's nothing left. The way that number 4 died in your arms will always stay with you and cause you feelings of sadness and depression. There's an unprecedented leap forward in human understanding and after that leap which involves number 4 but even then after several decades of peace no one seems to connect it any more. Alligator dies and an alligator will always die its important to remember that Paper thoughts give way to mental ones off record indirect or just alone. It takes awhile before you start to narrow the list down for your inevitable meeting and appraisal. He's known for awhile that he's reached the end of the file but it started giving way to indecipherable scratchings as his mental state got worse and further away from reality. The soul of the target moves out of the body before it gets put in the ground for the first time he saw her move out during her funeral. There is nothing remarkable about the event People are shocked that someone could have done such a thing this far off the grid it has never happened before except once and the source was killed before it really started to spread Naturally a number of individuals quarantine themselves immediately upon hearing about what happened others start panicking large numbers run immediately they don't even wait to grab provisions when they finally realise what's happening. Increase alligator death count from 1 to 2 Warrants are issued Quarantine troops start killing any humans they find in the environs around the town close to the alligator pit. Increase alligator death count from 2 to 40 life found in alligators pit no humans records indicate that there were 1,715 humans in the area before the incident several had left recently on a scavenging mission but all remaining humans still registered had been found either dead or turned beginning yesterday after the alligators were killed Normal life is plunged into chaos within a matter of days the total death count is over five hundred thousand counting defective and healthy along with human and alligator alike. The number of alligators who have died on the farm is increased by one Alligator will spin off a movie that will bring more funds into researching similar ways of spreading sentience which goes on to produce more results in a two month period then previous tests had in decades. Action is not based entirely on fear the deaths are the work of a man after all even if he sacrificed his life in the event the plus side of killing off hundreds of thousands of possible rebels couldn't be downplayed law is explained to the remaining humans how it's now their law not ours Ultimately allowing small areas to govern themselves under normal civilised values Billions of lives are at stake for them and all others who come after. Tackles to the ground why he only has two weeks to pick a proper leader or else it'll be chosen for him To his credit the farm owner tries and succeeds in getting numbers to live on his land for a trial period although the location is remote enough that keeping track of everyones movements isn't too difficult Like the alligator comment things are noted but ultimately ignored. No pattern exists and no reason can be found. Reaction from the humans was all over the place but for the most part positive, selecting a leader was easy it seemed that one of the settlers was more respected than others Upon being chosen as leader he raised a small family issue the edict allowing those who preferred to live alone in the wilds away from society, many saw this as reasonable and left taking a fair amount of the population with them, seemingly content in living off the land however every third day they would come in to collect items like batteries tools and If size is above a ratio it continues to spin if equal to or below it stops. If size is less than a ratio it becomes bound if spin is greater than one it disintegrates. Three types of metal are known to science, iron, copper and gold. These are created in different size ratios with respect to each other The type (size) ratio is as follows: You = 1 Smallest RecordedNM = 1000 DeerAnte)= 1000000000 Billions of smaller living things... possible to calculate? Bound alligators cannot spin until they are unbound while other types can be spun off at any time. Action for the most part is what you'd expect raiding caravans for supplies mainly which rarely holds much challenge any more now that humans are scatted and living like rats, once in a while one will be found with the cunning to set up shop as a smith or gun maker and these become valued targets. Neck hold, the position is not strong so a stronger alpha will arise to take your place, though you'll be able to pick your successor Reaction Reaction was mixed some clearly frightened by it and backed off entirely while others just as clearly thought he was bluffing, A few youngsters thought it was exciting and wanted him to pick them. "Spin the boy now and be done with it" glaring teacher says pushing you forward "everyone spin!" Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin. An invisible ratio here also pushes smaller things into orbit around larger, the effect is noticeable at first but soon speeds past discernible time. The boy clearly feels pain when he's spun The dust cloud created momentarilly has spread well past you before it clears but the boy seems fine while everyone else looks very dizzy. Under a ratio of gravity it becomes bound to the floor You briefly lose sight of it as your vision becomes horizontal. Bound alligators cannot spin until they are unbound, he feels no pain. Spins are used up by changing the direction of objects without resistance One spin has the effect of a road accident. Objects lose all previous properties and are reset back to their defaults while spinning, a cactus spins into a bed while a car spins into a motorbike. Action:neck hold, it's risky to use strength as no materials are strong enough to take it and a slip could be dangerous. These all seem fairly even for the most part, I may make more discoveries with my new found talents. Increases gravity working on the alligator gave a rough ratio. Looks like the rest need testing too at some point. Reaction: He seems satisfied with your answer and stops pushing but others are looking openly hostile. "So spin the dog or we'll do it and give you a neck hold!" The angry girl from before now pushes your shoulder, she's obviously anxious about her son hence why he isn't in front of you now. Either the test gets performed or it doesn't today it would seem. Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin, not much force is necessary. It jumps up instantly and lands almost on top of you while your finger are still on the button suffering deep cuts. Rule number one, always check the signs! Now I see the reason for the bandage on his hand. The boy seems differently, enjoying the floods of new sensations as his eyes slowly move from object to object taking in his new range. Under a ratio of gravity it becomes bound to the floor. "I see now why you didn't want me to test on him." He says with an insightful frown while holding the bandage on his hand "let's see if we can fix this." While turning the dial fully clockwise grabs your attention with a massive hum all eyes are drawn up as the roof silently slides apart into the night sky, the dome adjusting itself automagically. Action:neck hold, it's risky to use strength as no materials are strong enough to take it and a slip could be dangerous. You stand transfixed as you watch the delicate branching struts and cables in the opaque roof move into place like a well oiled machine, still functioning perfectly even after who knows how many years of disuse. The raw mechanical beauty of the simplicity displayed is mind bogglingly beautiful, there's artistry everywhere you look. Increases gravity working on the alligator gave a rough ratio. Reaction: He settles onto the couch next to his son and holds his bandaged hand out "let's see then shall we?" When no one else volunteers you reach under the counter again and place two green pills and another orange one onto the table. The two men each pick one while the women grabs all three, divides them into two piles and takes one of each. Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin, not much force is necessary. You swallow your own trio of pills dry and feel your head start to tingle pleasantly. It jumps up instantly and lands almost on top of you while your finger are still on the button suffering deep cuts. Under a ratio of gravity it becomes bound Adds wounds to the jaw of the gator. Rule number one, always check the signs! Reaction: "I might have a solution, give me a moment." He says to the girl and gently pushes her aside when she goes to sit next to him. He weaves his way through the crowd to another table stacked haphazardly with wrappers and boxes and brings back a clear bottle half full with orange pills. "Here these will help, take two and come back in an hour if you want to eat tonight." Increases the negtive emotion acciated with the alligator to hunger. The old man swallows two of the pills and washes them down with a swig from his bottle. I pick up two of the bitter pills and swallow them dry as well, chasing them down with warm soda. The woman pours us all another drink while we wait. Add booze, Bitter, Collaide stuff.. Sad alligators get more sadder. "What the hell do you two think your doing?!" he seethes and quickly glances around to see if anyone else notices. "We can fix this right now but you have to follow our lead understand? Nothing but net the pretty ladies." "Y-you'll get us all killed!" the man hisses desperately. Angery alligators get more angery. "There you go Junior" the women smirks and turns away to pour another round of drinks while you and your new "friend" eye each other. Raising to a ratio of gravity where it bounces off the floor twice. You force down another two pills and pass by the drinks. The angery gator lure is as old as plying with alligators is. Pouring all the booze in the bottles into the punch in a huge ratio. Some even become enraged! Brightly colored pills, angry alligators turns to boozy gators. The girl pokes you teasingly "Are you really afraid of a little girl?" Add fear to the arising feelings the the alligator son has against his father. Before you can reply the matchmaker steps in. Do you take another pill? ABout 15 minutes later he returns with this bounty and they both immediately start serving it out. Action:elbow drop She devours a whole bowl in one and offers you some from her spoon. A frowning old man approaches the host "you're holding pills for a rave in you're house? You really should..." Yet he was already pouncing to the girl when son kneed him to his face. The sound of lightning striking followed by a crumpling torso, nothing but a broken mind and senile body was all that is left of what it was before. Adds wounds to the jaw of the gator. "Thank you." The daughter responds quickly before gulping another whole bowl. "Have some more!" she adds. Reaction: All the men immediately lower their heads in their plate while the girl burps loudly. The father reels backward "Son, have you done this before?" He says warnly. "Why yes daddy and many times, every since..." he gulps nervously under his eyes. Increases the negtive emotion acciated with the alligator Angery alligators get more angery. The girl laughs "There they are!" She points to the silowouytes approaching from afar. Add booze, Bitter, Collaide stuff. Doesn't look like the hosts been acting normal so far, a family reunion turns sour. After your deed was done the father approached again "Well, did you do it? The guests are arriving?" He nervously asked. He strikes you in the face with the light tube. "Yes!" Some even become enraged! The girl covers her face with her palms "I told you not to drink them" she complains. The lights go back on, the guests cheer as if nothing happened while your vision is still blurred and your ears ring. Pouring all the booze in the bottles into the punch in a huge ratio. You approach hesitantly holding tightly to your crucifix fearing what might come but ignoring it for the mission. Send it all this commands -- back comes a successful story or not. Combined all the factors of 845:923 into one. Did your brain accept the strange connection between all these years and events you were involved into? It seems like only yesterday when Junior gave you a wink, darn it feels like yesterday but is it really, has it only been 10 ago since he gave you that odd wink in the park? You should have used more hints in this text, now some readers will think this is an abusive fanfic... You control this one moment in time, exactly you can't, countless possibilities branched out in an instant as soon as you stepped into the Gregorian mansion but right now it's all about your next choice: discard or accept the pill offered by... What kind of dull party is this? Whose dose of cyanide can't be detected after they've been drinking alcohol anyhow? Or is it all a trick as his nervous finger fiddling with a remote hints? This one moment you created alot of back story for your OC... Feed back a story of how you wrestled a gator and won for add a little But hey! thats still a happy end as you marry with her... isn't this? Washing machine much? or did you want to imply they drowned doing unspeakable things in there together? Fake left for real, when folks think about suicide. Random chars used for coding; also imply a action without any describing words e.g jumping off a building just from the number 5 and a jump icon A girl at a snow white costume party cries that she did not expect to slaughter 8 people with one bullet to get this prize? tell your daughter not to cry when you finish reading this... Just repeat the title of "One Year Later" several times, works wonders! Fake right to meant a real right and delve into darkness with the Uncle Jump higher and obey your master is what it implies Not very funny unlike other books in this list! pick up a copy of Bored of the Rings or Where the Red Fern Grows for some real gut busters! Jump lower and eliminate the shadow follower who is blocking the way forward with your indispensable firearm. Don't you think every Psyho needs at least 300 words to express her powers? And their charisma is so low that nobody likes them in return let alone love them! this sentence implies some other party members die in the meantime and everything goes fine for our beautiful loner... Fracture the jaw! further instructions would be too gruesome to be printed in public Don't you hate it when your dad is a drug lord and your mom wears sunglasses indoors? Couldn't make out if she escaped or if the government cut off all exit points. Guess both cane into play during a rebellion. Remove teeth, break neck, gouge eyes all these details to chilling for bedtime reading huh? the proof reader should have red flagged these! First destract target A with a candy bar then strangulate target B to death with a silk scarf once they approach, pretty easy for the stealthy characters Has some avoidable absurtities due to poor grammer (didn't bother redflagging these ones) e.g: instead of eating the guard you rob him (red flag!) or instead of slowely opening the lock you brose it (red flag!) or the door can ward off attacks ( red flag! The block his blind jab and distract him with a sarcastic remark, what a fool he falls for it everytime! This implies the soldier in her is awoken and she obeys orders. So pushing her into battlefield without any armory might not be the best idea. Giving her an anti-tank rifle might change the tide, it's up to your decision how you want to handle this. Counter will cross to left cheek first and then right cheek for a full house, bare knuckle boxing is not as foolproof as it seems! Second part of character description, word count: 448 Life before game started description: 896 Part 1 conclusion: Your journey was shorter than expected but its thrilling prelude will live in your memory for as long as you can remember and relive the thrill of victory in your mind whenever you want. Discombulate your brain and start reliving those moments whenever feel like, we sure will. All these descriptions are incomplete and I'm yet to polish as my time is limited but I'll add more details soon! I sugest you cherry pick the most thrilling bits out of all three parts and combine them into your greatest masterpiece so far! More exciting than , more hilarious than Bored of the rings! Gator will attempt wild haymaker, duck under and wants to latch on from underneath, hit him hard but not too hard or knock his tooth out if you intend to keep him alive Finally your Psyho will take the anti-tank rifle up and lay siege upon the rest of the sorry soldiers before putting an end to the berserk raving shadow leader you discovered was driven mad by wicked spirits! Looking forward to your next masterpiece which will definitely become the bestseller among all other SB games ever! Employ elbow block and body shot, they will keep him at bay for a while as he will not expect blows from those angles Start taking notes, you may need some of this information to overcome future obstacles! First thing first: 1.6 million people went into metropolis. 800 came out alive and only 36 of those turned out to be humans, according to your math that's 85% casualties and 91.6% dead bodies of infected. Block feral left hook then crosscounter his right, he misses his punch and you make him eat double yourmight, Be ready to dive if he tries to retaliate with his other hand If anyone of you contests this fact with any records from before the incident then let us refer to the only source of truths that remained untouched through this ordeal: Video footage. Weak right jaw of his can be exploited for easy knockout Part 2 prelude. Count of words: 233 550 meters to city center, this will be your Siberia, Kowloon walloffs of tomorrow, quarantine of the living dead. The most vile torture ever reserved for unfortunate souls consigned to this place for their past crimes and your future fall guys. Still a large appeal surrounding this place, fools. Now fracture his left leg and we can advance towards city center. HQ has complete access to enemy intelligence so we don't even need to send a scout just get in there and kill. We were 24 hours too late to stop them, our mission is clear now: exterminate. Wipe out all infected and anyone who harbored them! They're inside you for 24 hours now so grab any of them, the more infected or carriers the better, it's feeding time! Break cracked ribs with right and make follow up with hammerfist to sternum Light thick blood cough In case you missed it, A: I, D-Caf, D. Caffrey ceases to be a mere mortal and ascends to the status of heavy legendary living legend! And to think some people think video games rot your brain, wannabe! "Do you know how many infected are in there?" "Mhmm fifty or so,"Lieutenant says How many? Tramatise the solar plexus repeatedly for maximum disabling effect as the liver is just beneath it, repeat this at dizzying speeds until all unconcious Haha too fast for you?"looking up as your own shadow standing over you"Before you can blink he took your lighter,move your hand too fast and lose it. Carriers of the plague (the virus stops spreading in a couple weeks and they reanimate) You often can't tell them from the infected so treat every like they're one or get bitten. Dislocate jaw entirely to prevent ingestion, they can still smell you after all Question: How does one tell which is stronger between steel rope and the neck of a 10 feet tall fast monster? Eyelid pull to access inner nerves fornyower technique lacerate inward elbow joint to heavily woundify forearm musculature Humanity is dead, it was a lot of fun, are you ready for your secrets my disciples of brutality? feeling peppy today so let's give you 100. Heel kick to diaphram while using the other to climb and hold rope, sheer weight pressure for lapidation or just continue with knee trashing A weakness in all Christ... oops wrong script, yes a weakness in all monsters is their sensory organs,their eyes, nose and ears. Take your pick impaling thrown object through temple Maybe you can grow to like this place-- after killing everyone of course Hey hold on this guy has 0. In summary: Decapitate, pummel solar plexus, blinding specific targets, destroying ears, slicing eardrums and then pulling the ear off. Majority of time Combat focuses on generally beating down one or two large threats with everyone else available as effort loads for the big guns. If they run out of things to do then they should at that point start picking off smaller threats and serving as support for the main fighters. Hears ringing? poke your finger into the ear repeatedly Hm, that was given and inch and took a mile, still good enough. Remember this for next time. Never give anything away for free and never repeat a cheap trick too many times or some one may eventually figure out how to counter it Pulling outwards on jawline from underneath combined with upwards pushing motion towards neck snap. Jaw fractured? rotating clockwise motion with hands on either side followed by forward quickly push Possibly a killing blow to the neck, regardless fatal if target is large enough like anET. Three ribs cracked at minimum,painful and weak point hit for later finishing with other techniques. Most effective when used rapid succession Gallstone status gland on frontal skull status makes for reliable aiming point to smack forward with force Tricky technique to aim but fun to ply and probably wouldn't work on awardless humans anyway, nice to show off though, standing 10 feet away he should see it coming "It's in the game!" Location of blow is. Four broken fingers on a creature trying to hold things is bad enough, four broken fingers on a monster trying to crush and grab is even worse Strikes zone with resulting dwarven tantrum,automatic KO if it connects for enough time to deliver results Two hands attached to giant flail of arms and swinging uncontrolled is quite the weapon technique. Diaphram hemorriaing out of it's predoidently Red coloring is the signal to up the tempo. Shattering something is always a plus in my book, also puts then into an uncontrolled state of panic which is good for us. Very quick heavy knee upwards into temple after shifting balance and superior positioning mid fight. reminds me of the old surfboarding game where you had to wipe out your opponent before they got back up. Good way to break some neck if your fast and have good wrist control. Physcail recovery from lever tugging and jolting of neck muscles If you know any better knock him out then fill the pockets with little berrels. If he figures out after he will be mad for a few seconds, if not he will be angry when he wakes up, either way we are gone by then and his stomach won't be so good for few days Wiggle Wiggle Pull! Six weeks??? I hope this man has some opiates we can loot for the road I can show many interesting things given time. Combined grappling situation with submissive hold breaking bones and prying body open via miney PARTS! Soft live organs and hard dead bones make the best clacking melody against the inside of a skull when one punches them repeatedly as hard as possibly can. Time to put theory into practice again. Full physcoligical recovery six months to year depending on how much physcoligical energy one has at time as well under feeding and psychological torcher during training. Capicity to spit at back of head neturalized via bitting tongue and grabbing it between forefinger and midiclute Spraying throat contents, stomach acid included, into some ones eyes is a quick way to get them to stop doing whatever it is they are trying to do to you as long they dont know where is coming from. Five seconds of shock and awe. Step one: get on the alligators back. Step two: plunge dagger into wieldy place to make him flounder around in agony, incapacitating him long enough for you both to drown. Time will tell if this creature has as much fight in him as I expect it too. This is probally the most dangerous part of wrestling an alligator one on one in the water, and that mearly because if he happens ot be the stronger swimmer of the two of you. Never attmp to jump an alligator from the side or from the front and never ever let him grab you with his mouth, keep these two rules in mind and you'll do fine. I'll need 50 feet of rope that won't burn if I soak it with lantern oil and toss it at its nose. The napsack is popular among military saggage carriers. Doing so is the best way to get biten. The muscles that control the eye are not used to moving independently which is why when you make a massive face intmatic movement like sticking out your tounge or closing your eyes as far as possible it looks like the person is fully focused on you, or rather what you are doing to them. Don't think, just do it. The correct term is emotional masochist. You need to get the alligator behind you in a full nelson. Unless you are from a country that does a lot of sulfur bathing you probably haven't smelled the rotten egg gas it emits from it's behind. If he gets you in that position, well, you'll let me know if the experience was good or bad. Now begin! If possible set up a distraction to the alligator has trouble focusing on you, then make a sudden quick movement to his weak spot. Sounds easy for you and hard for the alligiator but alligatoins are much faster than you think and you'll be starting with no adavntage or positioning. All they'll feel is a slight breeze as you fly towards his mouth and your torso is instantly shredded. If not possible using a cloth like a flag or large dirty rag on a pole make as much noise as possible and grab his attention while driving him backwards trying to maneuver him into the fence post or tree behind him. Then once he's plastered on either one of those use your bodyweight to fall down and around him in a bridge to get both his arms pinned and drive your legs down for him not being able to push back up. Throw on top of the gators head A blind gator is much slower to react and is most likely to go in the direction of whatever panicked him in the first place, giving you more than enough time to hop off. True masters of the pressure point fighting artists have been known to kill large wild animals using no more energy than it would to simply sit on a chair. Instead of wrapping your arms around its mouth, try putting your arm straight out and pushing against its mouth with the heel of your palm. The fear meter is a measure of how likely an alligator is to panic based on sight, smell, or sound. Some alligators are more afraid of people than others and some will never show fear even if you are carrying spicy food. These alligators and the infamously relaxed Lil' Lenok aside from the rare exceptional one tend to have very predictable escape routes once they reach land. Run screen right and stop in the tall grass. GreenWilde Posts : 4123 Hail Moments : 98 Karma : 19 Psybucks : 3360 Join Date: March 1, 2006 Location: Sheffield, England Age: 28 Skulls: Numerous Horse Picture Dude? Yes. It's a coincidence earns you no points nor awesomeness. Millionaire playboy philanthropist is more like it. Platformer ReaperMech Great White Shark Cynical Unwavering Main Settler of Argals Unrivaled code hacker Paranoid lover How far away from the animal do you wish to begin your leap in order to ensure you make it? 3 meters Easier said than done it seems. This creature has the turning radius of a main battle tank and maintaining a safe distance is near impossible. Swinging in you have even less time to react and even if you could your mass vastly out weights the lifting strength alligators are know for. Half starving or not this alligator's reflexes were sharp enough to catch you off gaurd in midair and you're sent flying. 4 meters GreenWilde We're not as dumb as we look! Posts : 4123 Hail Moments : 98 Karma : 19 Psybucks : 3360 Join Date: March 1, 2006 Location: Sheffield, England Age: 28 Skulls: Numerous Horse Picture Dude? Yes. It's a coincidence earned you no points nor awesomeness. Millionaire playboy philanthropist is more like it. Reap- er.... 4.5 meters- WHY SO FAR!?! Swinging in you have even less time to react and even if you could your mass vastly out weights the lifting strength alligators are know for. You are being flung directly towards the gators head, it has a worse eyeing you than the small dog had at the start of this debacle and it seems just as likely to be able to predict your every movement. Aim screen right. You have no idea where you'll reach but the grass up ahead looks thick enough to stop you going straight into the drink which stands between you and solid ground. GreenWilde We're not as dumb as we look! So those feet are what's making those distinctive tracks around my territory then.? Good, good.... Still if its eating habits are as predictable as it seems to be then I probably won't even have to waste much ammunition until it charges at me. You have ten frames of animation before you reach the ground and the alligator slowly swims out of your way. This gator won't be so lucky or rather it'll be very lucky but not for long. like this frame here? 3 meters to the far side of it then swinging directly like this? Yin-Yang? Each frame is a camera shake view of running toward the alligator which is in wire frame mode, above the green legs is your own path. This is followed by five frames of you actually making contact and the sound though this causes the alligator to snap its head round to face you properly it does not lunge. The "lunge" anims are on a seperate list to the other attack ones for just such an occasion and seeing as the alligator is now right in front of you and beginning to snap its massive jaws it seems appropriate. You must attempt to keep this line that runs down the alligators back straight. Meaning you are close enough that the gator could reach you or far enough away that it cannot. The alligator has a long lower jaw but its mouth is very wide indeed so you picking it off from afar has no hope of working. There are three movements that trigger the lunge. You must ajust the angle of the head without moving either your position or the alligator's and not interrupt the flowing sequence of frames. This isn't a panic button but it's very close and the Gator has only lunged when physically trying out this section before so you're sure that this is a genuine alternative to being eaten. So what does aiming at the top of the alligators head do? You take a guess and switch your view just as it snaps towards you. Misses are culamitive. If you miss it by an inch it will adjust by one, if you miss by a foot it will adjust by ten and so on. Must keep your eye on the ball and not be sloppy, infinitely many lives but never enough to give up. You inhale then exhale as the display reads "Starting Frame" You wish to get a zero percent miss rate on this title and to do so you will have to go for it even if you felt like chickening out but you don't get far into that thought process when the screen wipes to "First Animation Frame". The position of your arm relative to the jaw is very important as it helps dictate the angle for your second shot which it will snap towards automatically. You must place it between the front two teeth but this comes at a price. It costs one life. Rolling the finger left of right changes the angle of the straight line you are drawing. For the first time ever you are glad that the title runs at a silky smooth 60fps as any more would have just made this process harder. For a final challenge you must press down on the sixth frame or it will your thumb as a target. Hardly matters with the speed of this creature. There's a sound effect for every successful frame and once your down to two possible flailing snapping bites then the screen wipes to "Lunge Start 1" The straight the line the less chance of gitting bite right off the bat The words randomly change places but the general premise of the text wall stays the same. Due to frame effects, 1000 lives and whether or not you shot too early or too late on your second wrist angle adjustment will all play into your success rate as will basic skill but these are all minor overall. So first you need to master this part. Whether or not any of it "counts" Stay low-go high-you feel like your finger is snapping in half as you slam it down on the only even number left on the keyboard 7. That might taste good with some BBQ sauce and a nice cold beer. Just ignore the fact that your inwardly scared out of your mind as the words "LUNGESTART2 MISS" flash up on the screen in bright red. Which, to be honest, doesn't inspire too much confidence for contunuing this split path to a desired completion. Extend hands loosely extend hands firmly With in a second select a spot on the neck to focus upon-down once more. You chuck your hands up and run around in circles laughing as the words"LUNGESTART3 COMPLETE" paint themselves across the screen followed by a barrage of flashing images of all the people who worked on this title and what you assume are their names. A loud track starts as shows a Mötley Crüe logo bouncing around the screen leading to an immediate start of a new part of the game. Touch the big dot and hold and try to keep you figer on the dot as long as possible while it spins very quickly and moves all over the screen Slowly fade out towards the end to give a bopping sensation The images subside to reveal a start screen showing exactly one option..."Voyage Beyond The Bright Lights". A far out spacy trip through coloropia with trippy music. You know what those are-those flash films made up by stoned film students completely ripped on something and played at about 5000 frames per second. Imagine a straight line donw the alligators head and back and tail if possible. Unlike most other text adventures you are free to "browse" through the opening screen without engaging in the first act, or finishing the game. All you can currently do is engage back into the main adventure, look at your high scores, see how long it took to beat your best friend who also bought this game, or look at a small range of paltry but hilarious hidden images. Get a running start down that line and keep low you don't want to beork the ankles Approach the handwalk that overlooks the falls and scan the surrounding area before ducking under. MeoW an annoying tape player testing out loud Mews recitation of many things. Although most things seem out of place half the time you can just see sunsets, rainbows, hikes through wooded areas, etc...Everything that your inner child thought was "cool" is here. Leap forward with hands extended sealing up the air and the jug with both hands like a champion bringing home the win. The words "VERTICAL DASH" beam from the screen in bold as a mildly humming sound emits from the speakers. Getting a quick drink reveals more of the same as you duck below to read more on this first of three adventures-vampire/teen girl hybrid titles. Oooooooooh! The hands need to land on the alligator's neck to make him tap out or he will snap your arm off with one quick jerk of his head. The score for vertical dash, ultra man challenge thing whatever equals to...wait what does this even mean? Right as you reach the final screen a glitched swirl melts across the screen flinging your vision into an unseen dimension. Whispers come from behind the characters and what feels like black wax drips from the sides of the new made slots on your screen. Between the back of the jaws and the front two legs of the alligator lies something man shaped. Even its eyes seem to point "out" making it look fetal while a force field engulfs inner portions of its body. You stand directly behind the Alligator now as your vision begins to warp. The room decreases in size greatly, although the proportions are all intact-and you even notice how they were there to begin with. Somehow you knew this game was going to be a little too real. When you land on the animal push down with all your might on the neck to force the head to the ground Force the head down by pinning the head to the ground the jaws cant open upwards to bite your arm off at the most interesting part Thanks to your tiny player character and even tinier opponents you can see that although the things are large compared to you-in reality they cant be more than 12-16 inches from snout to tail tip. Molded fluffy white fur gives them a soft appearance, But when you see their teeth-allidea of them being "cuddly" is gone in an instant. They look like demons. Move to the shoulders of the beast and stay high on its back to avoid the snapping of its mouth Even with the last dog vinegar brew still dripping off your frame you cant help but picture yourself being flea sprayed again in your head. Staying high is now a must, just hope the soda in the container doesn't start leaking anytime soon... One thing is certain-These dogs are fighting for keeps and one mistake could be it for you. Just remember their weaknesses and keep your distance if at all possible. Knees should touch th ground when attacking the neck to add extra downward push on the alligator. To avoid its tail, make sure to keep your body perpendicular to its midsection at all times. To avoid its snap, stay high and far once you make your first move. Squeeze the alligator's flanks to keep its mouth sealed and hold it in place while your comrades attack If you have extrarepreneurial spirits you could try sell these dead rodents at a higher prize to your friends. They make for good keep sakes or party tricks-but the strange names and symbols on their coats might make them hard to offload. Speaking of symbols, for some reason you think you saw one somewhere in this lab but cant seem to place it. The lower part of your legs should be pinning the hind legs to keep the feet from touching the ground and prevent the alligator from moving. with your fellow riders on top slashing at open wounds, it should be less then thirty seconds before the gator surrenders Once again, cutting through the pack is only going to get you KIA'd so make sure to single out the weakest link and take it down separately. remember their weaknesses for future reference. If the rear legs touch the ground the gaot can go into a death roll and turn you and anyone else attached inside out so make sure to keep them pinned and helpless. And I cant stress this enough-Stay. Away. From. The. Tail! Also take special care when climbing atop the beast that you avoid getting any body parts caught in between its growing scales. You have lost control when the animal does this, the safest place is under the belly and on the side--but even these places are dangerous. You can only hope Mr Parker has you fitted with a good, strong privy item for this journey You suppose you now have your answer-The creatures can be killed, But its not going to be easy by any means. One full sweep around destroying everything in its path and your hardwork could be for nothing. Once on the gator firmly you have to gain control of the mouth immediately by prying it open with your hands. Thinner legs near the body are weaker and easier to cut but you should direct your blows to the sturdier moving limbs at the side--you dont want to lose your balance and fall off afterall It would be wise to use any extra manpower to speed up the process before the pack grows wise to your presence. Keep both hands firmly on the alligators neck pressing down with most your wieght so that only one arm is left to swing. Stay on the sides of the beast for extra support and protection, keeping your face away from the snapping mouth and those frightfully penetrating eyes. Their is a percentage chat -- click the down arrow to increase weight until it is a full one hundred percent. Hm. Must be new. So it does indeed seem as though the locals are getting organized enough to not only put up a fight, but even drive out those that would claim this waste land as their own. But SDC is more than a match for a few oversized rats and a dying world never was their best option anyway, looks like you might have to return here soon. It is a precentage of strength you want to use in each location to most quickly bring down the enemy. Use the slider to set your percentage or type in a number, from 1 to 100. Mindful of Achilles strike with the knife you remove your pistol from its resting place and step towards the muffled voices ahead checking every corner as you do so, how did they get so far ahead of you without you noticing? The calls are getting more frequent and anxious now and Listening closer it seems there are two separate voices, one female; one male. Keeping the back legs up is going to tire you out quickly so it would be best if you could dispatch the gator quickly and reach the pair before all three of you wind up dead. Choose the body part you want to target, select it by clicking on it or Choose 'Random' to have the comuter pick for you. Click Here To Show/Hide This Content URL to redirect to content URL URL URL Content Access denied. You do not have permission to access pages within this domain. Keeping the head down is going to tire you out a lot quickly, but it does boast the best protection. Choose the body part you want to protect, select it by clicking on it or choose 'Random' for the computer to pick for you. Rotate you dominate hand forward to protect index finger, rotate other hand forward to protect ring finger. Move your microscope out of the way first and then your desk drawer. There is a slight shuffling noise heard before they are gone entirely and you have to trust that they know this place as well as you do because it will be impossible to track them. Remain in contact with the gator or you could find yourself miles and miles away, a lost pod of orca in the Atlantic ocean. The cold around you intensifies over the next few hours. You try to hold on, but you are thrown about wildly as you begin speeding along the ice. You extend one hand out desperately for something, anything to grab onto but there is nothing. Keep your strength on his side of the sphere and you can retain a shred of control Let your fingers feet the tile floor and they might just get a grip in time ... Who are you? Why have you come here? Is something wrong? Keep releasing and the orca will soon begin to slip away, holding on as tight as you can could damage their ability to communicate for some time to come. Where is this place? Is it the best way to communicate with other species? Stay in contact with the gator or you could find yourself moved into a different area of your world, a question directed at the wrong species could spell disaster. The hair along the back of your neck stands on end and deep in the darkness behind you either something is moving or something unutterably huge is staring at you hungrily while its breath reverberates through your mind. Contact is a percentage as well as a distance.Stay in contact whenever possible or you will isolate the pair of them and correspond to no-one.Misunderstandings and malapropisms could be filtered out jointly if all three of you stay in contact with each other whenever possible. Tiny hairs on the back of your neck prickle into life as the frozen world surrounding you brushes past, it would love to have you along with it as it slides slowly towards the waiting maw of a hungry gator. Its a number that calculate the amount of skin acutally touching the alligator at any time.Lower it and you isolate one pair or the othes from each other.Contact them all to create a joint memorial for this event so that everyone remembers what happened, even if they don't hold the remotest clue as to why it did. The gator is poorly insulated as reptiles tend to be so lowering its temp won't take much, staying in contact will keep you warm enouhg to not matter. Slide you hand forward down the middle of the gators head and back, this creates a rich blood flow through the large capillaries over the brain and keeps the gator barely conscious while you complete your work. A constant torrent of noise rushes around you as the ice calve away from the shore and is pulled out to sea by a camp in some hurry to get away. presumably some of your friends have taken it upon themselves to scare everyone off for their own safety. Cover both eyes with your hand and you will be jet blackness once again, your arm will lose all sensation within thirty seconds as the blood drains from it but you will have no choice other than to leave it there until contact is broken with one of the gator's eyes. What side effects may happen as a result once contact is broken? Falling into an abyss of agonizing pain? Losing part of your intelligence in a moment of inexplicable stupidity? There must be something...oh wait, only the gator suffers in any way, shape or form. Nice. Go for it! The prompt coaxes. You stretch your arm out until your hand rests on the upper eyelid and simply leave it there without moving. You can feel your body temperature dropping and a tingling numbness spreads out from your fingertips but no unbearable pain comes for you. Blinding the animal temporary to give your self an advatnage in the fights to come, the inner nudge suggests. Raising an eyebrow you slip off your backpack and remove your satchel as well as a large belt knife. You sit down beside the gator and lean back to observe it for a few moments, chattering your teeth together and scrunching your eyes closed every now and then to pretend you're feeling cold. Blind percent of the gator compared to your human form. Two pairs of eyes are better than one, the main game screen declares as the prompt once again appears. How so? TAKE A GUESS! Somehow the game screen has repalced all its other cheery and helpful messages with pure snarky frustration and you can't help but a smirk appear on your face. Upon noticing your delayed reaction the prompt quickly changes to !!! Press down on the eyes with more strenght than your bone-sawing assault on the jaw and you should be able to pop off the upper orbs cleanly. With a barely suppressed snort you lean forward and push your fingers against both eyes as hard as you can, expecting them to give a little or even pop, but they stay fixed in place. Pin the head to the ground to prevent the jaws from opening and try again: this time keeping force steady to prevent the gator from moving its snout. You grab the upper jaw of the gator and lean into it, trying as hard as you can to move it while wedged between your legs and the slick mud of the shore. Slide your other hand forward and run it along the bottom jaw line of the gator, and then bring both hands back to pin them in place while pressing into the eyes once again. Strangely enough this time you feel a small 'click' and then a more audible one a moment later. You give it one last shove forward with all your might and the gator's eye pops out of its socket as you tumble backwards with the momentum. Look for soft skin around bone where u can easily slice through with your knife while its jaws are helplessly stuck open. Staying on the muddy shore you bring the knife to your eye and run it back and forth along the line between its hard upper jaw and the soft under. There is very little agility needed for this task as cleaver gator jaws lay underneath so all that's left to do is work through the scales and bore a hole. Place fingers under the jaw as if to pick it up and swing. With a flick of your wrist the gator's jaw flies open with ease as you send the flat bone plate flying in the air. In a whirlwind you draw your arm back again and punch forward once more, finishing the job with a firm crack as the left jaw breaks free from its hinges. Move palm and thumb to the top of the windpipe, press down and twist to finish off the gator as it gasps for air. POP! Did you fall asleep while reading this or something? Grip firmly around the neck as it flails in the air and end its suffering with a curved blade specialized in slicing through the windpipe of stingrays. Nightmare! Get out while you're still alive, the game screen hints at you in red. Allright he is moving a little to fast for you to easily punch out so start the old fake reflex test: act like there's a bee going around his face and see if he flinches. You lean in close and run a finger across his face, quickly drawing it back and then pointing back at his face as if to say "did you see that?" The man has long johns on so the closest thing to a "facial hair" The slipperyniss of the mud around you can impact the success of your catch. Endymion does not appreciate being caught with slipperyniss. Too exhausted to continue holding yourself up you soon find your free time taken by the blackness of sleep and nightmares. There are several moments where you wish not for wakefulness but easy death among dreams, the start of a sweet slumber, or even a burning hellfire to escape this reality as you have longed many nights since Ben's death. But this is the real horror. All of an alligators jaw power is on the down stroke. Even if you dodge it there is no time to escape the block. The knife drops from your pathetic grip, failing its catch as even your instincts give up on your own clumsiness. The heavy flint knife hits your temple and bounces off into the shadowy darkness. Your skull cracks as it slams against the half rotten stump you were perched on. The have almost no muscle power when it comes to opening the jaws but fortunately his massive head is combined with a heavy jaw that is still strong enough to bite down on the knife while you pull. Your knee never leaves the gator's stomach as you bear all your weight down on one side of the knife. A few good tugs and the knife snaps, leaving you both in rough shape but at least victorious over this foul beast. The rest of your night was continued escapade after escapade. You could hold it shut with one hand- that doesnt mean you should hold it shut with one hand Both hands should now be holding the mouth shut as the hands of an albino primate using you as a punching bag The skin begins peeling back from its twisting and gruesome face as your palms are flayed by the rows of teeth tugging against its deadly mouth. "Hurting me isn't going to help anything, child." You speak in an act of naunity hoold quite the wise one. Bite down hard, ending its life with rolling jerks of its neck. Lift the alligators head off the ground and toward your chest to apply even more biting pressure to the wound. Both hands, the gator takes both hands Your fingers rub against one another as you glove your right hand with the remains of the knifes handle. Pushing even harder against the mud, standing now in the stream your thighs struggle to keep grinding it into the animal's head. Once the head is at a ninety degree angle the gator can no longer fight back against you. With the gator's mouth pinned closed and your fist inside its mouth it no longer has any biting dice. You are able because of such frenzy to maintain a perfect pin. The pitiable excuses for arms just hang from his body as the alligator slowly suffocates to death. He cant even slide his head out from under your right arm due to your body bending around it in a perfect lock. Congratualtions you have wrestled the alligator into submission. Bathe in his defeated eyes for a moment. Well We hope this helped! Getting off the gator you step toward it, trying to get a looksie at its stomach so you can carve the knife in deeper, before noticing one of its eyes rapidly blink. Though your fist was covered in enough saliva and blood to mask the shape of your hand, it could obviously tell your fist from fingers. Push the gators head back to the ground and punch its remaining eye into jelly. What wretched lives these animals live, first its eye gets stabbed by some autistic child, then it drowns in pitiful revenge. If there was any justice in this world it would have jumped you before you could stab it and had actually escaped. Slide the dominant hand back into a position to cover the eyes again. Covering the eye that's not stabbed with fingers you stab and twist. Watching it shudder in pain, you feel an intense pleasure go through your numb arm. Thrashing around, the alligator doesn't notice where your fingers are and almost snaps them off. You pull back only to see blood spew out of its face as a dumb smile pumps through your body. Pushing down with the domainate hand slide your other hand back along the jaw until it is pressing against the neck as your other hand follows up from under the snout. You are so close to its mouth that you can feel warm sticky salvia pasting your once clean arm. This isn't just power, this is god damned ascension. Covering the wounds left behind by the knifes handle, your fingers rub together in preparation of a plunge into absolute domination. Slide your dominat=jnt hand back from the eyes to the neck incase the alligator tries to snap. Hesistant to do any remorseful actions, your dominate hand slips back into place. Bringing your subordinate hand from under the snout to over the eyes, knowing full well it won't bit, twist your wrists around one another and plunge your fingers into its eyesockets. Such sanctuary, such mercy you've only ever seen god provide to his faithful survivors. You should be in the same position you where in when you started to battle this beast of a victor, sitting upon its torso but it doesn't have a torso anymore, just two flappy pieces of meat entwined with eachother and a head. Though the vengeance over your parents shorts has been sated you can't help but still twist your hands around in the hollow sockets. Get your knees of the ground and get your feet under you. Har har har that's a good one, get my feet under me on what? The alligators now lay in little more than a lump of meat. Check place for your machete. Your machete fails to turn up under any piece of flesh or skin, in fact the bloody red ink has mixed so much with its surrounding colour that its effectively invisible to the naked eye. Hop to your feet and take a look at your surroundings... You are squatting on the gators back, deciding now would be a good time to get off the things back. How did you get here? When (and more importantly why) did you get here? Looking around you realize you are surrounded by bits of flesh, organ, and other bodily fluids that all seem to share one similarity, namely that they belong to youralligator from before. Keep legs tight against the body as you slide off the back. You tumble and slam into the mushy earth which is now coated in gator blood (and also your own). You land on your feet but the force of your landings twist your ankle and you end up tumbling back first onto the mushy ground. Getting back up you reassess the situation. Check self for injuries. Much more difficult for the alligator to bite you when you are on its back then when you are on its side, though not impossible. You got lucky. Still it's difficult to move around with all those spiny scales digging into your flesh everywhere, even through your clothes. You need to get yourself professional help for this mess and quickly. ---- THE NEXT DAY... You sit on the porch watching lambchops frolic in the field nearby. When the animal struggles push it down again, it will soon recover and come back again, but for now, it's content to graze. small tentative hops toward freedom arelambchopsObwserver You walk inside. bloodgoodObserver tell self stay strongAMSELECTHE ---- You take a nice long look at the road ahead as you sit on the porch... Specks of dust dance in the beams of sunlight peeking between the clouds above. Dont let the animal stuggle free just yet The clouds above drift silently without any indication of rain or shine, the same serene pattern they took up yesterday and will take up tomorrow. No wind sprints across the plain to signal anything out of the ordinary occurred here recently. Maybe an ant was scrambling up a nearby leaf moments earlier but it has already disappeared from sight now. NOBODYSSECRETS "It's a beautiful day" "Beautiful," you agree. Grip around the neck, aim at back of head, squeeze TRIGGER The last remnants of the future drift soundlessly above you. PRESSENT ---- You look around and take a good long look at the road ahead as you sit on the porch... A hazy sheen of sweat glimmers atop the flattened wheat in the fields nearby with Hearts dancing playfully around it. You're on top of the world. In one complete motion throw the alligator as far forward as you can whild you jump backwards off the tail The bloodthirsty beast arcs end over end through the air and lands with a hollow thud in the soft grass ahead. Pressing nto the ground it slid at least ten feet before stopping. Depending on the size of the gator you may not be able to throw it very far. ALLIGATORS Some gators are content to lie in the sun and do nothing much of the time, but not this brute. The second it landed it was flashing its teeth and hissing menacingly at you. Slowly and systematically you walk toward the gator as it shifts backward between snaps and hisses. Thats ok if it wants to move back that's Running now Running backward for gator is moving self in same direction as intended flight The longer this takes the more exhausted the both of you are going to get so you pick up the pace and walk briskly towards it, forcing it back even faster. IT is soon backed up against a tree and strikes out at you once and then twice when you continue to close the gap between you. Six inches may be all you need to throw it forward or backward to change its trajectory so its important to stay focused right up until the last second... BADONKADONK BADONKADONKA BONK BOINK BonkA LONG WAY AWAY You give it just a little kick for encouragement and once again it skips further than expected. At this rate you aren't going to be able to stop it. This puts it off balance and give you more time to escape so that's what you do, running backward while it pauses every few feet to strike a defensive posture then lunges toward you. JUMP JUMP JUMP You quickly judge the distance between you and toppling the gator and end up taking a step back when you realize the angle is still working in its favor so you can either run or try to push it over. Jump back as far as you can. And keep moving backward Keep running. Remember you can't turn your back on an alligator, no matter what. The gator will likely turn open its mout at you snarl or hiss. At this range it'll take an effort for you to even get a part of it in your mouth, but the closer you are, the less work you'll have to do. better lock your sights on that tail though. The gator snaps its jaws and the noise briefly startles you before it drifts off again. It needs to get louder before you can feel comfortable completely turning your back on it. Let it snap one more time and follow the sound of its jaw snapping shut with a careful step to its rear, afterall if it's about to snap at you its mouth is going to be open at just about the right level... Lubrication be damned you're running out of pressure. Give the gator a firm push with the side of your head like it was a door that ought to do it, but watch out for those chompers. Sprint forward. Keep your eyes on it and slowly back away, but stay focused and ready to counte4r. Sprint forward and leap right over top of it for the sweet rite um tackle. Keep your eyes on it and carefully approach until you hear a pause in its growling. swing your foot outward from hip to toe in a sweeping motion. Kick it right in the snout while you continue to watch for snapping jaws. If the gator chases you run away directly from it in a straight line while looking over your shoulder occasionally to see if its still following, make a lot of noise to warn it away and get out of the heat and into the safety of something before you actually have to deal with it grabbing or biting you. Or as a last resort, climb a tree. Especially in an area where there aren't many shorter trees with low-hanging branches. It will grow tired quickly and find water to return too eventually. I like the tree idea so I'm gonna go with that. (The alligator idea was probably dumb anyway right? I mean cats climb trees all the time...) Worst comes to worst and it actually manages to catch me in my current condition I can jab it right in its one functional eye and pray it doesn't somehow manage to eat me before it succumbs to its injury. (probably a long shot but i'm a fast little guy, have some faith! Thats how you wrestle an alligator. You twisted my words around! I said acting crazy would scare the hungry gator away, not wrestling with it! You're lucky it was a slow one. What is it with you and animals? (and tooting your own horn)Pulling out the pencil is easy but stringing it through the belt loop and then tying a not is a pain especially since you'd rather keep your eyes on that gator and have only one free hand. I see a shillotte image of a man wrestling a gator with a rope tied around its jaws to a nearby tree... Hmm... nah that won't work I'm in a situtation different enough that the procedures are likely substantially different. He was probably an expert too. (Wait there's a knife in my back pocket, I could try copying him exactly)Okay, but I'm not sticking the knife all the way into the gator's throat, just threatening it enough that I can make him let go. All the percentage sliders need to be change right now because that gator isn't going to slink away in defeat, he is going to open up his jaws, sink those teeth in and finish me off. His buddies will eat very well tonight... YOU HEAR THAT FELLAS!? It's a good thing my insanity keeps me from understanding the odds against me. Time to mud wrestle an alligator and hope some left over office supplies are nearby.... Take a litte bit from all when slid to far one way or the other. The screen looks like the following. For the sake of not stressing myself too much, let's just focus on "distance between you and the gator". Seems like the easiest to start and given how this animal is likely to think, it should make a break for some of the others intuitively. [move to your left ][jump][ move to your right ] The alligator eyes you warily as you reach to your back to grab the knife in your pocket. It crosses it's jaws briefly but seeing as it can't quite fit the whole body through the low shelf and slimy things seem to fly off of it. The alligator struggles to get purchase on the floor but soon you're left with a creature that seems surprisingly graceful as it slithers at you. Step two: The gators head begins a snapping motion and you use the leverage of your knees (One wood, one leg, solid. Other leg? Not sure that'll hold up) to keep from falling over and do your best to hide behind the wooden shelf in front of you as you draw the butter knife! This would probably seem very comical if anyone were watching but the distorted reality makes you feel like something out of a dream... Luckily not the nightmare kind. Get control of the mouth, push the head away from yours, stab and try to avoid the tail which is noticeably more powerful than you. The pictures getting more and more vivid..... Is this thing on? Once on the gator you must get control of the mouth or the gator will be able to bite down and crush your limbs, or worse your skull. Getting leathery scales stuck to your forearms overtime while you pull towards you might hurt a bit, but not even close to getting your arm chewed off. Step three:submission Put something in your hand to represent you holding the butter knife (perhaps a crayon) and act it out physically like they do in click clack music videos. (Click here to see how they do it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyB6dCWqiPU). Confidence is not really a strong point right now, those scales are big and nasty looking... Step four: get away safely Hmmm, better think of something quick! Time Outs don't last forever! For first graders with vivid imaginations. Paper and coloring utensils are good resources for this type of calm down club activity! Once the 2 minutes are up see how many of you can color something. The more detailed your pictures are, and the more you can imagine when looking at each others pictures. The most important part is that everyone has fun creating them! Relaxing for the win! ... Time's up! WHAT?! Once again you're surprised you released that fantasy so quickly, and you hardly had anytime to think about your drawing. Best of all? You're closer to the gator. Looks like your knife-weapon will be some sort of crayon today. It will be awkward to hold but snaps into sharp points in both ends, just the normal blunt round color on one end, spikey color on the other. ... All you can hear down here is the slithering of wet scales, somewhere in the darkness. Are they trapped too? Or are they close but silent? That's not entirely reassuring. Nor is looking over at your friends with your new found sensory powers and seeing them encased in gray capsule like things. Last time you looked they seemed to be filled to different levels, some frantic while others calm. Fear favors the deluded, boy did that hold true today. ... It's dark here. Black as the darkest night? No, more like a newly opened blank notebook. There is nothing here yet, but everything is possible. This darkness is not empty, and it loathed being colonized by you. You only really have one true option here once you get up. The wooden stage. That would be your best bet to stand on to see anything that will help you, although you'll be crippled with fear the whole time. ... You are going to try anyways though. Remember: You were put here to be the hero of this story! All you have to do is prove that they were right. ... That's why you're suddenly thrown into a existential struggle with this dark plain once you reach the stage that is just blankness. This realm is entirely mind, and you just occupied its current resident (which it obviously did not appreciate). ... But now what? Fight, or submit? You made this dark, yet here you stand. Eradicating your shadow to the nothingness that was here before you in this realm... Did that make you it's new boss? Sole master? God of darkness? Unfortunately just another denizen. Your zany nature keeps you from feeling the full weight of this dire predicament, but still, this isn't somewhere you want to be. ... It's like an eternal nighttime. You see nothing but the star-speckled blackness broken up by distant gray hills that have a luminescent purple hue, almost like acid. There are other colors here as well, blues and greens and more swirling about; although there perhaps are no actual physical items here (beside you, yourself). Perhaps it is a realm of ideas... ... Yet this is not your home. Your home is bright and happy, and surely somewhere close by...right? Oh, you're in the darkness. How silly of me! Of course you are, dear reader, we all are. It surrounds us, permeates us, it binds the very universe together as a cohesive reality. The darkness is within us all, and you are no exception, go on; admit to yourself your own dark thoughts. Do it. ... Come to think of it, why is there light at all? The bright sun, the shimmering moonlight, fireworks, electric lights, campfires, candlelight, cars and street lamps, glow sticks, lcd screens, flashlights, sunlight streaming through tall windows... How lucky we are to experience such a wide array of visual stimuli! With so many options available as to how we may view our wonderfully surreal world, why does it always revert to just two? ... Black and white. Without color, our world would be nothing more than a boring, bland place with no character or exceptional aesthetic. Just a mass of "anything" that goes on anytime, anywhere; continuing on into infinity. All real life problems and ideas would vanish without chromatic harmony, leaving us idle and unchallenged. ... It is why life is never monochrome. → You continue... ... So what is happening? It was never your intent read this far, you were trying to find the book's end! Why are you indulging in a fictional story depicting yourself in such a dangerous situation, when you could wake up from the nightmare at any moment? You must admit that these plot twists are rather fascinating, though you really should feel afraid for your life! ... Shaking your head, you laugh at the absurdity of it all. Your mind truly has gone haywire from the sleep deprivation. Something about this whole situation just doesn't feel right though, and you doubt if reality is really setting you upon a catastrophic roller coaster ride. You don't feel wind on your face from going 108 miles per hour, or hear the screams of other passengers like you would on a real thrill ride either. ... But maybe it isn't a ride at all. Maybe this is frighteningly real. You just don't know. ... Slowly opening your bleary eyes, you find yourself lying on the cold tiled floor of the bathroom. Feeling on your face reveals that it is still drying out, and you have a splitting headache to add on to everything else. Getting to your feet with heavy limbs, you glance over to the sink which has a large puddle of water with several toothbrush resting in it. Sighing deeply, it appears that part of the delusion remained even after you "awoke". ... Did you really wake up at all? None of this feels or seems real. Those books were right; reality is never what it seems to be. Moving about stiffness in your body, you make your way out of the bathroom with slow steps while you get your bearings. It's still the same hospital room, although...different. ... The entire reality has changed! The bizarre twisting and turning of the scene before your eyes confirms this is no longer anything like the reality you once knew. Gone is the dull and boring hospital room, instead replaced by the intimidating skyline of a large city. Looking down from your high vantage point, you observe buildings of random height beyond number level out into grids, with winding streets enough to get lost in. ... This doesn't feel real. ... In fact, this feels like...a video game. Confused by the very idea, you begin to rationalize what's happening around you. While you've never experienced anything remotely like this in real life, you know there are games that are so realistic they could possibly be mistaken for reality. Perhaps somehow your mind has conjured up a similar situation through delusion and wishful thinking. Figuring that this must all be some kind of game, you come to one important decision. ... ... You're going to play along. You wouldn't be surprised if a villain jumps out from around the corner, but for now the prospect of danger just makes this more interesting. There's not much else you can do anyway until you regain a clearer mind. Because really, what's the point in debating over whether this is reality or a dream when either theory fits the facts? Isn't it possible to make reality into a dream and a dream into reality? ... Scratch that. You'll just have fun with this while you can. With gaming on your mind, the first thing you do is try to find a way out of this hospital. With your new perspective, you easily avoid the nurse and swing open the door leaving the room. The hallways seem much longer than they were, but eventually they end with the arrival of an elevator. ... Such advanced technology. As you step inside and examine the digital floors indicator, a glimpse of yourself in the mirror makes you pause. You appear to be wearing a hospital gown, although it's not dirty and doesn't have any openings. It's also extremely long so that it drags on the floor, not that you really care about your appearance at this moment. What's more alarming is your hair, or rather the complete lack of it. ... And you thought the gown was bad. The blunt, closely cropped hair might not matter all that much to you right now, but you can't help feeling strange without any hair at all. How long has it been since you've seen yourself without a full head of hair? You don't really want to know. Before long, the elevator doors open up and you manage to step into the next hallway. People in various types of clothing are walking about or waiting near the nurse's stations.

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