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flowercrownsandherondales · 7 days ago

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Against the Odds pt. 25

Alexa play “Fresh Out The Slammer.” In all seriousness, plz enjoy and let me know all your sad thoughts on this one. Love y’all, sorry this took so long.

XXV: Now Pretty Baby I’m Runnin’ Back Home to You

It took them two weeks to get a team together. Two weeks of constant planning, under the threats from Katniss, Finnick and I. We would not move a muscle for the revolution until our loved ones were extracted.

Our days of waiting were filled with nothingness.

It took around a week for Plutarch and Coin to ban us from attending meetings detailing how to get into the Capitol. Citing we were too “emotionally charged” to be helpful.

There weren’t many children in 13. I’d overheard that there was some sort of illness that went around a few years ago and had taken most of them. With the new influx of children arriving from 12, though not many, there was still enough for some kind of school to be held.

Twyla still hadn’t spoken a full sentence, but she did repeat one word over and over again, her little eyes bloodshot and full of unshed tears.

Mommy.

Everytime I looked at her I felt my throat close up, my nose start to burn and I pushed down for her sake. My little girl had already lost her mommy, the last thing she needed was for me to fall apart on her. There wasn’t anything I could do but hold her close to me and rock us both through the night. Y/N would have been better at this, would have said something soothing, sang a sweet song under her breath, anything at all would have been better than what I could provide.

But I was all she had. And I hated myself for it.

She craved her mother’s touch, her comfort, the soft scent of vanilla that clung to her clothes. She needed Y/N’s steady hand on her back, not mine that shook heavy with aftershocks of alcohol withdrawal.

Astrid and Prim had started helping with the medical ward, which left me no choice but to drop Twyla off at the makeshift school. She’d clung to me, shaking her head as little sobs wracked her body. It took a few days before I could leave the room without her screaming her head off. The first day I was able to leave without a meltdown I found an empty corridor, put my head in my hands, and attempted to muffle my tears. The kids weren’t learning much, most of them too traumatized to focus for more than a second. Instead they drew, read stories, or met with one of the therapists who would come in and speak to them.

That’s one job I didn’t envy. I couldn’t imagine what those therapists heard, and what they had to sleep on.

The rest of my days were spent in either mine, Katniss, or Finnick’s quarters. The three of us would just sit, not speaking much, just holding space for someone to fall apart if they needed, knowing the other two were there to put them back together again.

Finnick stuck to his rope, tying knots over and over until there was nothing left but a ball.

Katniss fiddled with her mockingjay pin, muttering her mantra to remind herself where she was and where Peeta was.

And I stared at the wall like I could burn a hole in it, bouncing my leg to try and distract myself from the shakes rattling my body, and the desperate need for a goddamn drink.

The minute the clock hit 5 I was racing out of the room to get Twyla, scooping her up and forcing her to eat whatever borderline paste 13 gave us for dinner. It’d been a challenge to get her to eat anything for awhile, now she just grimaced and swallowed it down.

The evening was spent cuddling up in bed, her between my legs as I read a book I’d swiped from the school. A year ago she would have begged me to read another, then another. Now she just sat in my lap, staring blankly at the page, letting me finish and closing her eyes softly, no protest.

I tried to get her to speak. I knew the therapist was working with her, attempting to gain more information about the day her mother was taken. She refused to open up about it, shaking her head at him and staring at the door until he gave a sigh and left.

I asked her about her day, about the other kids, and what she drew. I joked about the shitty food, made little puns that used to make her hunch over in giggles, anything at all to get her to speak.

Still, absolute nothing but downturned lips and a blank stare.

I often fell asleep wondering if she blamed me for her mother’s absence. It was either that or a nightmare about the terror she faced when Y/N told her to hide under the couch while several peacekeepers came into our home and dragged her away, apparently trashing everything we owned in the struggle.

Finally the night came.

I woke to the sound of our door opening, my body instinctively pulling Twyla’s little frame under me, other hand reaching for a knife on the bedside table, only to find nothing.

“Haymitch, it’s me.” Finnick’s whispered voice cut through the dark. “It’s time. Hovercraft just left, everyone’s in the control room waiting.”

I jumped out of bed, not bothering to change out of pajamas, leaving a kiss on Twyla’s head. Katniss stood outside the door, Prim by her side.

“I’ll keep an eye on Twy.” The blonde girl’s voice was soft and sweet, giving me a half smile before ducking inside. I nodded, clasping a hand to her shoulder as she passed, muttering a gruff thanks.

Katniss was a bundle of nerves, as we all were. We collectively took a deep breath and made our way to the control room, shoulders squared.

I took a deep breath from inside my cell.

The night’s beating had taken more of a toll. I couldn’t tell how long I’d been here, or what the final goal even was.

If they were going to kill me, when were they going to just do it already?

The screams had stopped for the night.

“You need to start getting ready.” The boy said, tossing his coin in the air and giving me a pointed look.

“Ready for what?” I groaned, attempting to breathe again, the rhythmic ache of broken ribs making every breath or word excruciatingly painful. Still it was better than what I felt in my hip. They’d decided to take a baton to it tonight, easily cracking bones like they were pencils. They’d made me crawl halfway to my cell, before finally taking mercy and hauling me up by my bruised arms.

The coin in the air stopped.

“To go home.” was all he said, the glint of a smile appearing. My brows furrowed, sweat collecting from the pain.

The lights flickered above us.

I felt a hand come to my back, a larger one on my arm. Wyatt and Wiley, attempting to help me stand.

Wyatt and Wiley. Wyatt and Wiley. My lover and my son.

I blinked at both of them. “Finally.” Wyatt said, a grin breaking out on his face.

“C’mon mama, we gotta get you outta here.” Wiley added, nudging my back, getting me to my knees, my hip giving out on one side. I bit my tongue to stop the scream, leaning towards my good side to get the pressure off.

“Any minute now.” Wyatt, ever the strategist, glanced to the door, having a silent conversation with Wiley. My boy nodded, a smile starting on his small face as they helped me get towards the door.

It was gruesome, probably the top three worst moments of my life, only challenged by childbirth and the whipping. Still, I made it, grasping at the bars, waiting on my good knee for help.

Wyatt rubbed my back, Wiley placing his hands over my hand, leaning down to kiss my ironclad fist.

“Twyla’s really strong.” Wiley whispered, attempting to distract me while we waited for rescue. “She didn’t even cry once, when they came to the house. I hid under the couch with her, held her hand, promised her our mama was gonna be fine.”

“Haymitch has been taking good care of her. Lenore Dove gave him an earful, he isn’t drinking anymore.” Wyatt added, moving to swipe sweat from my brow.

My mind was in a pain filled haze, but still, I managed to nod. “You aren’t mad at me, are you?” My voice was rough, rougher than I’d ever heard it. The question wasn’t really to a specific person, more generalized guilt.

Wyatt let out a deep laugh, shaking his head. Wiley’s brow was furrowed, looking so much like mine. He shook his head hard at the question. Wyatt moved my face towards his, his eyes, seam grey but differing from Haymitch’s, darker to match his features, peered deep into my soul.

“God no. Y/N, the time we had, it was more than anything I could have asked for. But it was borrowed. I love you, I will always love you. I miss you more than anything, but it was always him. You two, you two have something you and I will never have. Something deep. The odds are always going to be in favor of him. Both of you were crafted from the same clay, it was only a matter of time before you made your way home to each other again.”

Wiley tightened his little hands around mine. I moved to look at him. My first born, my sweet baby boy.

“Mama, we could never be mad at you for livin’. It wasn’t in our cards. I’m sorry you had to see me go, that you had to see daddy go. I know you feel guilty for Twyla, but she’s everything. She’s going to see everything, grow up, live a good life. And I’ll get to do it through her, beside her, even if she doesn’t know it.” Tears fell down my cheeks for the first time since I’d been here, my baby boy, always by his sister’s side, protecting her like a big brother should.

The girl with the curls and red dress knelt in front of me, reaching forward through the bars and cupping my cheek in her soft hand, giving me the most gentle smile I’d ever seen.

Lenore Dove.

“He’s all yours, Y/N. You had his childhood, I had our teens, now he’s ready for you to have the rest. Take him all the way, honeybee.” I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

And with all their strength, with all of them behind me, holding me straight, I banged my fist against the cage, the lights cracking off as a man suited up unlocked my cage, another coming with him as they hauled me to safety.

I looked back one single time, just long enough to see Wyatt holding Wiley to his side, his fingers flipping a coin one more time before putting it on the ground in front of him, as if fate had finally decided the winner. Lenore Dove on my son’s other side, running her hand through his hair with a teary smile.

Wyatt let a tear fall down his face, a shaky grin as he mouthed.

Against all the odds, I’m glad I got to love you.

And I knew that’s the last time I’d see them.

It was like seeing her for the first time all over again.

After some of the single handedly worst hours of my life, she was here.

Johanna had been brought in first, thrashing against the wires as they tried to pump her with fluids. Annie was next, immediately tearing off her blood pressure cuff and bolting to Finnick, crashing herself into him, the typically charming and composed man sobbing into her wild hair.

And then she was wheeled in.

Y/N was broken. I looked back to Annie and Johanna for a brief second, both looking worse for wear but nothing compared to my wife.

Her hair fell lifeless, matted with blood in certain spots. Her eyes were sunken in, deep circles around them. She was thinner than I’d ever seen her, ribs uneven and jutting against her skin, which was almost completely covered in bruises. She was sitting up, but it was awkward, as if all her weight was shifted to her right side. Then I noticed the large mass of swollen tissue around the hip she favored, certainly broken. Her hands gripped the sheet, her right hand only having her thumb and pinky, index, middle and ring finger bloody stumps haphazardly stitched up.

I couldn’t contain my yell of anguish, the immediate sobs that overtook me as I took her in.

My feet were moving towards her, her frail body unable to meet me as Annie had. Nurses slapped an oxygen mask on her, attempting to lay her back, unable to as she whimpered for me, reaching out her disfigured hand.

I caught it instantly, gently pulling her body in and cradling her head to my chest, sobs nearing screams as the both of us enveloped each other. I ran my hands through the ends of her hair, careful to avoid any of the scrapes that caused the matting in her scalp.

“Haymitch…” She sobbed, body convulsing in my arms. I just shushed her, holding her like porcelain to me.

The nurses eventually pushed me away, begging me to let them work on her. I nodded, standing just outside the glass window, watching every movement they made like a hawk.

Katniss came up to me, her hand sneaking its way into mine and squeezing tightly.

“Her and Peeta are the worst out of all of them.” She whispered, trying not to cry and failing, hot tears coming down her cheeks.

I just nodded, squeezing tighter.

“I need to see him, I just–” I turned to her, hand instinctively wiping the tear away.

“Give them a minute to check him over. Once I know Y/N’s stabilized, I’ll come with you.” She nodded, leaning her head on my shoulder as we watched the nurses work.

Y/N had been knocked out, the nurses finally finishing up nearly an hour later. Katniss continued to stand next to me, waiting for any news.

“Mrs. Abernathy has sustained multiple injuries, but should make a semi-full recovery. She has 6 broken ribs, 3 on each side, A few lacerations to the head, several whip marks along her body, specifically her back, and three severed fingers.” I nodded shakily, letting a whimper turned sob out.

“What else?” Katniss demanded, eyes hardening. The nurse seemed unsure, biting her lip and looking back down at the chart.

“What is it?” I whispered, voice horse.

“She sustained some sort of beating to her left hip. The bone is fractured in several places, as well as part of her tailbone. We expect she will walk again, but likely it will be with a cane for the rest of her life.”

Katniss let out a gasp, I let out a sob.

“We have her in a medically induced coma for the moment. Her body will need a few weeks to recover. We will wake her in a few days, and after that she will be allowed to go back to your quarters with a wheelchair. We expect she will use a chair for around 6 months before we are able to get her on a cane.” The nurse explained, holding the chart to her chest. I just nodded, utterly in shock.

Three hours later I found myself at her bedside again, watching the rise and fall of her chest, the beeping of the machines keeping her alive, but asleep.

Katniss had been strangled by Peeta.

Peeta had been “hijacked”

But my wife lay beside me, my hand clasping her bandaged one, still breathing, still remembering me, still alive.

And I let myself cry myself to sleep.

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lastoneout · 3 days ago

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youtube

This video is an excellent breakdown of why people who are upset with the ending of Mockingjay for having Katniss "wear a dress and pop out two kids" are vastly misinterpreting Katniss and Peta's characterization(and this is just me but I want to point out that the MOVIE has Katniss in a dress at the end and the movies are universal regarded as passable but def missing the fucking point after the first one in several key ways so acting like Mockingjay the book is bad for something Mockingjay the movie did is so goddamn obnoxious) but I have to say the line "Peta is not looking for a tradwife. Peta IS the tradwife." took me out like a fucking baseball bat to the head.

Cackling like Katniss is parenting like fairly normal all things considered and Peta is like "my kids said they wanted cereal so here's my super easy 500 step recipe for homemade coco puffs" and I love that for him.

#I am a fan of female characters not wearing dresses I'm butch but Katniss never expresses discomfort with feminine clothes specifically #she doesnt like the dress her mom gave her because it's from her mom to wear during the FUCKING REAPING #and she doesnt like getting dressed up by the Capitol because it's the FUCKING CAPITOL #she seems to view herself at a distance anyway she doesnt mind the dresses Cinna makes for her #Katniss is much more masc than the average YA protag and I love that for her but she's not butch #she's not even really a tomboy she's just practical and hates the beauty standards of the capitol #there's a difference between being a tomboy or butch and being practical and having simple taste #like when she makes fun of effie's dresses and femininity it's because effie is like a barbie doll #she's ridiculous and Katniss thinks it's silly to dress like that not to wear dresses ffs

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waywardangel-wilds · 4 months ago

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Peeta-Delly sibling conversations I write in my drafts as jokes to myself (in some of these I imagine them as actual blood siblings lol):

D: drive me to the store.

P: no

D: drive me to the store drive me to the store drive me to the store

P: no, no, and no.

D: but I want to buy some pants

P: don’t care

D: I hate you

P: don’t care

D: drive me to the store

P: no

D: drive me to the store

P: no

D: DRIVE ME TO THE STORE!

P: NO!

Silence

D: you wanna get pizza?

P:… fine

P: smell my armpit

D: what? No!

P: just tell me if it smells!

D: smell it yourself!

P: I can’t tell! Come on, I’d smell yours!

D: No you wouldn’t, you liar.

(Based on a recurring argument with my sister that did indeed involve smelling her armpits)

P: look!

D: (ignores him)

P: Dells! Look! (Throws something at her) Dells!

D: what?

P: check it out, come here.

D: no just do it from there

P: ugh, why are you such a chicken?

D: just show me!

P: I don’t want to do it if you don’t come here!

D: I’m not going there!

P: just come here!

D: no!

P: fine, look. (Goes over to her). Look at my hands.

D: …no

P: you’re so goddamn annoying

D: then why are you here?!

P: just look!

D: fine! (Looks)

P: (flips her shirt over her head and runs away)

D: PEETA! DAD! Peeta’s being an absolute shit again!

Their father, somewhere: kids! Be nice!

P: can you come over and watch the kids?

D: I’m busy, sorry.

P: what are you doing?

D: stuff, okay?

P: please come over. I’ll leave you something in my will.

D: pfft. No thanks, I can live without your dumb cd collection.

P: please, please, please,please, please?

D: ugh, fine. Where are you going?

P: just out.

D: okay, are you going to tell me any details?

P: I’m going to play basketball, okay? Happy?

D: that’s why you need me to babysit? Just take them with you!

P: but you’re auntie Delly! You love them!

D: not enough to giveup Saturday night, dumbass.

P: please!

D: No!

P: how about this, you come with and I talk you up to Thom.

D: not worth it. I bet you’re going drinking after. And I’m stuck with two snotty kids? Screw that.

P: I’ll give you a hundred bucks.

D: five hundred.

P: two

D: three, final offer.

P: FINE! Just be here in twenty minutes.

D (ignoring Peeta’s phone calls)

(He calls again)

D: WHAT?

K: Peeta’s in the hospital! There was-He- just, oh my god, come quick okay?

D: I’m on my way.

P: (talking to a random stranger) this is my nephew, isn’t he adorable?

Random stranger: um, sure.

P: he’s my first nephew ever. My sister - well she’s not really my sister - but my sister, her names Delly, she said I can go visit him today. She just gave birth! Can you believe it?

Random person: I believe it.

P: what does that mean?

RP: I-I mean the kid looks like a newborn.

P: oh! Yeah, of course. Haha. Right. Anyway, what can I get you?

(On the phone)

P: ya?

D: what’d you get Katniss for Christmas?

P: books. New shoes. Oh, and that thing you told me to get. What was it called?

D: yeah, yeah. The um, dehydrator?

P: yeah that.

D: do you think she’d like a photo album? I could put a bunch of pictures of the family in there.

P: yeah, why not. Did you get my present?

D: no, what do you want?

P: a new car.

D: keep dreaming. So you want a new paint set?

P: sure whatever. By the way, you’re getting a craft beer set from Gale.

D: what, why?

P: I told him to.

D: Peeta! Come on.

P: just kidding. Do you wanna come for dinner? Katniss made lasagna.

D: nah, I’m busy. Just let her know I’ll see her on Thursday, okay?

P: yeah, yeah. See ya.

D: later.

P: did you teach my kid to say fuck?!

D: um

P: what the hell?!

D: it was an accident!

P: fuck you!

D: okay, I don’t think that’s a great reaction or example in this situation.

P: you-just. Watch your back.

D: oooh I’m sooo scared.

D: can I borrow 500 bucks?

P: why?

D: I just need a little help

P: is something wrong?

D: um..

P: what?

D: my building manager raised the rent with no warning.

P: he can’t do that. Do you want me to talk to him?

D: no, it’s fine.

P: I’m going to talk to him.

(On the phone)

D: Do you know anything about cars? Dad isn’t picking up.

P: I mean, I guess so?

D: sweet. (Off the phone) can you explain what you just said to my brother? Thanks. (Back on the phone) okay talk to this guy.

P: um, hello?

#I could write more probably #I just like to think of them as siblings #the hunger games #thg #peeta mellark #delly cartwright #delly and peeta

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olderthannetfic · 1 year ago

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"omg, you guys actually need to know that Suzanne Collins wrote the Hunger Games thinking about Palestine!!!"

"did you ever see Katniss as one of the brave children of Gaza??? because I think it's fair to compare them!!!"

I need you all to shut up.

Shut the fuck up.

You can enjoy YA medias without making it about issues that have NOTHING to do with it and that are insanely bigger than novels with plot holes as huge as the moon.

This is how you create monsters like JK Rowling: they write silly little novels for kids that dare have a little more weight than a Peppa Pig episode, and suddenly they find themselves surrounded by fans who have no idea of how the real world works but are willing to bend backwards three times to make their favorite author the most politically aware person in the world.

If you want to read about Gaza, read the goddamn news, stop trying to make it a fantasy novel with a love story to the side because otherwise it's not palatable enough.

I feel confident that if they do want to read a book, someone from Gaza has written one.

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checkoutmybookshelf · 1 month ago

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Ok, But Why The Potatoes???

I admit to not ever reading the Ballad of Snakes and Songbirds. I had basically zero interest in President Snow's tragic backstory, so I entirely skipped it. But Haymitch Abernathy? Him I was interested in. There was no guaranteed death hanging over his head, and honestly I want to know what turned him into the bitter alcoholic we see in The Hunger Games. So let's talk Sunrise on the Reaping.

This is your SPOILER WARNING. Read the book first or be chill with spoilers if you keep reading.

Haymitch vs Katniss: Anatomy of a Protagonist

I'm going to just go ahead and get the sacrilege out of the way: I liked Haymitch as a protagonist better than I liked Katniss.

That's really irritating for me, because I feel like it's not at all fair to Katniss, and it casts shade that I do not mean on the original three books. I will say that this is a personal opinion; both Katniss and Haymitch work as the protagonists of their stories and they're both handled well. The crux of the difference for me is this:

Haymitch's story is about how you take a smart, savvy, well-adjusted kid and break him so badly that he cannot be the flashpoint that takes down the fascist regime. Katniss, on the other hand, walks in the proverbial door completely broken and emotionally trapped in loss and abandonment and with no understanding of power dynamics or structures beyond the blatantly obvious. Then, when presented with the option to lie down and die about it (or slowly drink yourself to oblivion and death about it; thanks Haymitch) or the harder thing (learning on the fly the hard way while letting a different power structure exploit and use her, just in a different way), she bites the bullet.

One of these is a story about destruction. The other is about building something. And the chiasmus that comes from comparing Katniss and Haymitch is honestly too fun not to explore a little.

At the beginning of their respective novels, our protagonists have:

Haymitch Katniss

A loving, supportive family A truly fucky home life

A girlfriend A Gale

A "job" A bow and arrows

A vision of a future life No plans beyond the next meal

Emotional intelligence So, SO much emotional trauma

Power savvy No power savvy

All we can really do with Haymitch is leverage all of that to BREAK him. Like, the absolute goddamn cherry on the cake is that HE feeds Lenore Dove the poisoned candy himself. He's lost his self respect, self image, family, and future, and then his girl dies in his arms because Snow leverages the last safe refuge Haymitch has and sets up a situation where it's not Haymitch's FAULT that Lenore Dove dies, but it's absolutely by his hand. That's just impressively evil.

Katniss though? Starts almost at rock bottom (Prim and Gale are literally the only reason she's not AT rock bottom, and she loses both of them in chapter 2). And since she has no interest in STAYING at rock bottom, all she can do is climb.

There's also an interesting contrast in how Katniss and Haymitch see themselves. Katniss (as far as I recall) doesn't ever feel that she herself has descended into monstrosity at the cost of her own humanity. She's...not ok...but she manages to hang onto her own conception of herself as human, even if I do seem to recall her worrying about whether she is emotionally available or worthy. Haymitch, however, starts off VERY firm on him and everyone else being human and by the end, he thinks he has been disqualified from humanity.

Overall, I preferred being in Haymitch's head to Katniss's, but they're both deeply effective protagonists for very different stories. I also thought this was a STRONG way to show how the Haymitch we meet at the beginning of this book becomes the one we meet at the beginning of The Hunger Games. That line was beautifully and strongly drawn.

Time and Brutality

Ok, so...the Capital is way more dehumanizing and brutal in this book than I remember them being in the Hunger Games. Katniss and Peeta weren't handcuffed and transported in literal prison wagons. There wasn't the same level of "ooh, they're literal wild animals that might hurt us" from Katniss's prep team. Yes, Katniss did get treated like a barbie doll (with the exception of Cinna), but the tributes in this book had a communal prison shower and aerosolized insecticide (lung cancer? What lung cancer?) that BURNED them.

All of that is...fine on the surface. The Capital is supposed to be a shitty fascist regime that dehumanizes and brutalizes its conquered, second-class citizens. But what I didn't find terribly well handled was the why of this. I suppose a regime might evolve into being less overtly brutal after 75 years, but it seemed like Collins wanted to suggest that the insistence of the tributes on being seen as human was what did it? Which...that feels like a stretch to even say, because the dots don't connect. Maysilee says it out loud maybe three times, but it's to Louella and Haymitch, and that never really seems to translate over to anyone in the Capital. Even Effie pops up kind of fully formed as good-hearted but totally under the propaganda thumb. And given how close Haymitch came SEVERAL times to publicly pointing at Snow and going "murderous asshat," it makes no sense to me that Snow would LOOSEN his grip on brutality.

Bottom line? I do not understand what happened in the 23 years between Sunrise and Games to make the Capital ease off the "just shoot them for almost no reason" vibes we get at Haymitch's reaping. How do we go from Haymitch being convinced that Lenore Dove was being raped and tortured in Peacekeeper custody to Gale being comfortable enough to show up at the head peacekeeper's front door with contraband and expect to be paid for it?

Propaganda and Helplessness

Haymitch, like Katniss, understands that the Capital floods them with propaganda and that they shouldn't take ANY of it at face value. Haymitch even understands a lot of the nuances of how the propaganda works, the nuances of the strategies, and the knock-on effects. So instead of having him LEARN about this stuff (as Katniss does), Haymitch's lesson about propaganda is that it is more powerful than you think it is when it's not your hand on the 5-minute delay button.

Haymitch tries so damn hard throughout the book to "paint his own poster," as it were. To undermine Capital propaganda and to show what the reality they're experiencing is. The unfortunate reality though? He can't change it. He literally piloted a chariot through the capital with Louella's dead body in his arms and placed her before Snow to place the blame for her brutal and pointless death at Snow's account. There were WITNESSES to this. There were people ALL OVER the place, there were cameras EVERYWHERE. And yet, nobody saw. Haymitch blew bigass holes into the arena itself, but nobody saw. The Capital literally trotted out a brainwashed, drugged body double to pretend that Louella didn't die, and NOBODY. SAW. A. THING.

Haymitch would have been well within his goddamn rights to go literally insane about this, because he understands how this happened, and knows he can't change it, but the surreality of knowing what actually happened and being gaslighted by just...everyone...about it would break plenty of people. What really gets Haymitch isn't the gaslighting though. It's the futility and helplessness. He had the wherewithal and ability to act, and hell, he DID act. It still did not have a tangible effect. Almost nobody knew. That sense of helplessness despite having acted held more weight than I think not acting would have. There isn't the comforting fantasy of "If I had only DONE X, then the outcome would have been different," no. Haymitch DID the thing, and it was neatly erased by framing and picking shots.

The helplessness isn't a helplessness to act, or offer a different possible narrative. The helplessness is in the inability to control the narrative, and that is...brutal. And it's even more brutal in this era of everyone having a TikTok and a personal brand and the ability to spin their self-narrative for global audiences. Lots of us are also watching the Trump Administration do exactly what the Capital did in real time and with significantly less competence, so...that's great. I hate that for my 2025.

The Disability Thing

So...The Hunger Games universe has a background problem with how disability fits into it, particularly given the focus on physical ability that has to come with an arena-style fight to the death. The implicit assumption is that people with disabilities (and yes, I'm including things like chronic illness and the lifelong effects of malnutrition and a lack of adequate medical care. Big, broad definition of disability is what we're operating with.) are either victims of the Capital's regime and to be pitied as they stand in the background of the games, or they're literally President Snow--the leader of the fascist regime that forces literal children to murder each other.

Peeta does end up with a prosthetic leg and a buuuuuuuuuuuuuuunch of mental and physical issues in Catching Fire and Mockingjay, but those function narratively in different ways that don't do all that much to interrogate how disability exists in the world of the Hunger Games outside of the Arena and the behind-the-scenes of the Capital where dissidents are punished. We have the avoxes to represent that, but again, that frames disability not as a physical reality that people live with, but as a crime and a violence perpetrated on people by a vicious regime. So the Capital punishes people by imposing disabilities, but until we get to Sunrise, we don't really get anything centered that isn't a direct result of the Capital committing violence on people.

Enter "Miles, the asthmatic boy." We are told explicitly by Collins that this tribute has asthma. And how is he framed? He drops gasping from the insecticide, and then Haymitch goes out of his way to highlight that he wheezes and seems fragile. Then, Miles dies off-page.

Like...

The consistent and pervasive portrayal of kids with asthma being "fragile" or "delicate" and wildly unable to function outside of like...a bubble...irks the hell out of me. It does not reflect the broad range of experiences with asthma, and it perpetuates the idea that there is no way for disabled kids to survive such situations. Like 99% of the Hunger Games tributes, they are marked for death because they just can't hack it in the world.

Full disclosure: I have asthma. I was diagnosed at age two. Never in my LIFE have I ever self-described or been described as "fragile." And that's not to say the asthma isn't a significant part of my life; my heart stopped as a result of a particularly severe asthma attack, and I have fought very hard to participate in life while staying safe and as healthy as possible. So that is where I am coming from when I say that Miles's portrayal put a bug so far up my nose, it would put RFK jr.'s brainworm to shame.

This portrayal doesn't do anything new. It doesn't interrogate disability's place or role in Panem. It doesn't resist the "disabled people die first" trope. It also doesn't ADD anything to the narrative except, "Oh hey, asthmatic kids exist for about two minutes." And because of how the Newcomers alliance was framed overall, there are undertones of "disabled people need to be saved by abled people" which is paternalistic and shitty.

So I'm not like...terribly happy about this. And I don't think it was handled well. It didn't need to be there, and by being there, it reiterated and reinforced harmful tropes and stereotypes.

The Potato Thing

There was a weirdly high number of potatoes in this book. There was a weirdly high occupation with the things you can do with potatoes in this book. I don't really have anything else to say about it, just a note that it was there? I don't even think I can say it wasn't distracting, because I was keeping a mental tally of every time a potato popped up by the end of this book. It...was just there?

Someone explain the potato thing.

#sunrise on the reaping #the hunger games #books and reading #books #books and novels #book recommendations

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gurindeen · 1 year ago

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Rant time!

I have just finished watching Catching Fire after rereading the Catching Fire book and???? WHERE IS PEETA. Where is Peeta the whole time in this movie? He just kind of sits there with quizzical looks on his face. I get it, it’s a long story to condense into 2h26min, but. Peeta is such a central character in this book. I’m upset.

I may be overfangirling this but if I didn’t know the story I guess I’d be really confused as to why Katniss wanted Peeta to be the one who lives so badly. I just feel like he wasn’t given much depth in the CF movie. Which is weird considering I think the movies did a pretty good job with that in THG. Peeta is so brilliant, kind and present this entire book.

On top of that, Katniss and Peeta don’t really seem to share what is going on, or even support each other that much. Aside from the scene where Peeta’s heart stops, which is very good, they feel distant. When they talk on the beach, it feels off. Why do you even need him, movie!Katniss? You look like coworkers or something. Weird. Where is everlark understanding and leaning on each other so much that Katniss wouldn’t risk Peeta removing his goddamn makeup in his own room because they might lock him away from her for the night? You know what I mean?

And what’s with Katniss kissing Gale before the reaping, while he’s fully awake and well? That is substantially different from kissing him when he was passed out and wishing him to not remember it the day after. (not me whining because evethorne got this and we didn't get the picnic scene)

What irks me the most about all of this is: why? I’m pretty sure it was of knowledge when the movie was made that Peeta mattered quite a lot to the story and to Katniss - because if he didn’t, if he was just some cute teammate with a crush on her, who she gives only one and a half fuck about - none of it would have happened. No berries, no defiance, no Snow using Peeta to hurt the Mockingjay and deeply as he could. No reason to have hope, no dandelion. No revolution!

With Peeta, I feel like this movie stripped him down to ill assorted bit of the love triangle. Which is not only annoying, but downright Capitol level of treating love as marketing. And stupid, because, as I hinted above, the books where already fully out, right? Before rewatching CF, I was just talking to a friend who hasn't read the books and she said - oh, I didn't think Katniss actually liked Peeta, thought it was just the shared trauma. Yes. That's what it looked like in this movie. And not because they were trying to not focus on love, because they've amped the love triangle thing up. So I don't get it. Why do you always have to take a nice character and treat them like less just because they’re nice? (Ron Weasley I'm talking about you) Tell me, am I exaggerating? Do I just love Peeta too much?

#peeta mellark #catching fire #catching fire movie #everlark #rant

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scrapbookingonadrenaline · 1 year ago

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Y'all the streaming of the three hours hunger games in the books is so goddamn similar to our movies. In the book, Katniss, Peeta and Ceasar watch the three hours version of the hunger games in an interview and Katniss says that it's the first time the Capitol is showing a different version of the hunger games... A love story. The Capitol audience ooh and ah at them curling up together. Even Haymitch only sends them food when they act romantic. In the movies, it's the exact same thing, we made teams ffs! Team Gale or Team Peeta, take your pick! So many people forgot about the actual brutality of the games and for years, the first thing they asked hunger games fans was who they would pick for Katniss' love interest.

We saw them kissing in the arena and forgot they were in a cave, fighting infections and starving, all the while hiding from a person that wants to kill them both.

I love Suzzane Collins for this!!!

#the hunger games #suzzane collins #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #haymitch abernathy #the capitol

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all-pacas · 1 year ago

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I'm enjoying the bg3 takes! Thoughts on other companions? Laezel maybe? Or Gale?

gale is so funny to me because everyone i've spoken to either LOVES him or CANNOT STAND HIM and there's no middle ground. i like him a lot personally but i can absolutely see why my friends who hate him do

i don't think that's a hot take, though.

for lae'zel, though? GOD. she's so underrated and people kick her out of fanfics and portray her as SO FLAT and "chk!" and no! that's not her! she's like! she's a goddamn young adult protagonist guys!

she's fucking katniss everdeen over here. quite young, out on her own for the first time. tough exterior, but deep down doesn't know what to do. everything is new to her. she loves BOOKS and LEARNING. she gets along really well with gale, which says a lot. she's fascinated by faerun. she sincerely wants to help the party and cure them, despite having zero obligation to do so, despite that not being normal for a gith. but she sees these weirdos and her immediate reaction is "don't worry! i'll help you!" and she MEANS IT.

she is SO SINCERE. after she and shadowheart have their confrontation, the next day shadowheart is like "lol she'd better watch her back but we're cool" and lae'zel is just like "??? why would i hold a grudge?"

she tends to give approval when you argue with her. tell her you're going first in the creche and she approves of you showing authority. she doesn't like it if you tell her not to bully the tieflings, but she approves if you get the information more nicely. a LOT of her approval comes from you disagreeing with her (in sensible ways - she doesn't like contrariness for the sake of it, she does appreciate being shown different ways or plans or pragmatism). she's a hot head and knows she's a hot head!

she struggles with leaving her evil cult, and you can call her on jumping to the extreme opposite stance? like she goes from "vlaakith" to "LONG LIVE ORPHEUS" in five seconds flat? but it's SO FUNNY. it's so 20 year old. it's so tumblr. i'm sorry, it's so endearing of her. she finds out something is Wrong and something else is Right and makes it her whole life. she is so ride or die. i love her.

and yes she's abrasive and super blunt on the surface, but she's SO sincere and honest and eager to learn! and yet so far as fanfic is concerned she exists only to be Mean in what little capacity she exists at all

#also she and astarion canonically hook up if you don't romance either #which feels like it should come up more #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 #anon army #bg3 hot takes #more like lukewarm but

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solar-halos · 1 year ago

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spoilers for the ballad of songbirds and snakes movie down below!! but i just need to talk abt this in xtreme detail before i explode

1. i really liked the Baby Snow / Tigris inclusion. i was wondering if they’d include the cannibal scene

2. the beginning was just a straight up thirst trap sorry. like ik in the book snow was freaking out over his shirt but it didn’t rlly occur to me that he’d be butt booty naked. im not complaining bc i said it once and i’ll fucking say it again: i’m not watching someone be manipulative AND ugly for two fucking hours. it was just kinda a jump scare

3. also another concern was that you wouldn’t be able to tell how shitty of a person he was since he’s so outwardly nice but his internal monologue is slimy and ratworthy, so i thought they’d do the things movies do where he’s narrating his thoughts to the audience. yk like “hey persephone! <3. how are you??” and then his voiceover is like “i fucking hate this bitch. cannibalistic weirdo” but maybe that would have been too humorous

4. speaking of humor i actually loved lucky so fucking much. he rlly emulated the whole “what i lack in experience i make up for in personality :)” thing and just he kinda carried the fact that everything abt televising the games was so new. also that scene at the zoo where lucy gray asked him who the fuck he even was and the cameraman started laughing.. funny as fuck. enjoyed that part immensely

5. also she did in fact correct them that her name was lucy gray and not just lucy

6. loved the whole “how come she gets a mender” “MENTOR” part i’m also glad they kept that in

7. let’s go back to the beginning. i LOVE how closely they stuck to the book when it came to the shirt scene “that must be why it reminds me of my maids bathroom” THATS what i’m talking about

8. also clemensia is sooo pretty. one thing that irritated me was how OFTEN she and snow kept glancing over at each other during dean highbottom’s speech. like i know i’m being irrational abt this but most the time she would look over at him and he would NOT look back (or vice versa) instead of them BOTH hitting each other w the “what the fuck?” glance and something abt that did admittedly grind my gears

9. fucking love sejanus’ actor the first movie i saw him in was west side story and he ate here

10. speaking of that… coral fucking ate too every single scene i was on her side she was the victor to ME

11. anyway let’s go back a bit with the proposal gaul had snow (and clemensia) write up. to me, the way the scene unfolded was weird. it was supposed to show a contrast between clemensia mourning and snow not rlly giving a fuck, but clemenisa being the one saying “give me the bullet points” was strange. to me, i feel like the convo should have gone like: “how could gaul expect us to write that proposal i was crying over arcchane all night” “dw i already wrote it” “where did you find the time? i was too busy grieving” “do you want the bullet points or not?” or something. idk i’m not a movie writer

12. why did clemensia stick her hands in there maybe it was the same in the book but at that point she just needed to admit defeat

13. okay one thing i DO remember about the book is that no one at the cornocupia fought each other, reaper was literally the only one ready to fight. that kinda pissed me off bc i feel like they could have made it interesting in a emotional way (like showing how desperate the tributes are to escape in their own ways) instead of an action sort of way (bc GODDAMN where did they learn to brawl like that?? d4 makes sense but some of them were shooting ARROWS katniss everdeen style). but again im not a movie person so “interesting in an emotional way” is just me being pretentious

14. wovey </3. i’m not rlly sure why they had dill drink the water i think having wovey drink it like in the book would have packed more of a punch ESPECIALLY since lucy gray makes a comment abt how she reminds her of maude ivory / that scene where wovey holds her hand. maybe that was in the book too tho i’m not sure i haven’t read it since it came out. one change that i did remember AND tolerated was snow being the one to cause the whole fuck up w the drones “i wasn’t attacking the other tributes—i was just sending her water” VERY good scene, gave more insight to his character imo. like yes i would have loved a d3 moment but i think this tweak not only made sense but made everything much more nice and neat and smooth

15. okay the singing parts. loved the reaping, but lucy gray constantly being like “give me a second, boys” “let’s go, boys” reminded me of that one delaney video

16. “you can kiss my ass!!!!!!” she ate that

17. also oooo the song she sang abt billy taupe that made snow jealousssss. she was so good like ugh. idk something abt the >:( faces she made ignited something in me. which is exactly the point of lucy gray and rachel zegler literally did such a fantastic job playing maria in west side story so tbh what we were expecting if anyone could have played this role it was her

18. and then lawrence whatever saying this was a love story… okay. i’ve always had the opinion that lucy gray genuinely liked snow (like in a stockholm-y way) BUT snow was too blinded by control to actually love her back, so i could see where he was coming from. with that being said, i feel like in the books snow had a lot more moments where he was doing / saying “sweet” things to lucy gray, so the scene where they almost kissed and then her happiness at being reunited with him just seemed so awkward and out of place. like i get it they truly did not spend that much time together but the kiss before the arena was so important idk why they left it out. when they kissed after being reunited and when she was like :D after seeing him in 12 i was like “uhh yall don’t even know each other like that calm down”

19. let’s go back the arena. i like the little nod of lucy gray killing treech w rat poison, even if it was kinda anticlimactic

20. speaking of anticlimatic… the ending? sucked. like it would have been abrupt either way and maybe i’m just misremembering but the lucy gray showdown with treech could have been the action scene that replaced the bloodbath (bc the bloodbath didn’t exist back then!!! that was the whole point!!!). also i don’t remember gaul being so adamant about not wanting a victor at all, but i understand why they did that bc how else would they have incorporated the “get her out” chant

21. there were a lot of scenes that made me go “ohhh i wanna remember this forever that’s so good and clever.” of course i forgot abt most of it by the time the movie was over, but one scene that stuck out to me was when the capitol students got rlly fuckin angry when reaper tore down their flag

22. also i knew what happened to marcus but tell me why i gasped when i saw him hanging there anyway

23. i don’t remember lamina crying in the books??? also don’t understand why snow was against the alliance here i think him being confused abt it in the book was better bc i when i read it i remember being genuinely surprised that he was surprised that lucy gray wanted to team up w someone i was like ummm isn’t that common sense

24. “it isn’t fair i killed all those ppl for nothing.” GOOSEBUMPS

25. again maybe i’m misremembering but didn’t snow beat the shit out of bobbin even after he already knew he was dead?? even if that wasn’t the case and i’m just misremembering i feel like they should have drawn that out more to show snows descent into Psychotic Bitch Mode

26. that scene where billy taupe was pulling at lucy grays skirt and being like “ik u missed me” dragged out for WAY too long, esp since lucy gray kept repeating “get off me, billy taupe. get off me” like WAY too calmly given the context of the situation. again im not a movie person AT ALL, but i think her snapping and kicking billy taupe away could have been a nod to how she bit his hand in the book. then, after she kicked him, snow could have arrived and started being the shit out of him. idk her biting billy taupe was something snow mentioned when he was justifying how he was gonna kill her, so idk. i thought they were gonna do a ranting sequence / flashback scenes with snow remembering how lucy gray was “violent” / “dangerous” that would trigger him (no pun intended) to actually start shooting. like him beating up billy taupe for a longer time than he needed to was also an indicator that he’s in Psychotic Bitch Mode, but i feel like it could have been a 2-in-1. if that makes sense

27. why did billy taupe push mayfair in the TITS. go to hell

28. said it before and i’ll say it again: lucy gray is a fashion icon. i wanna crochet her bathing suit so bad

29. that scene where they were going to the woods and snow was slapping away the mosquito omg. he was PISSED

30. “it’s a mystery. just like me” oh my fucking god i love rachel zeglers portrayal of lucy gray

31. also call me classist but i fucking hate country music but rachel zeglers performances might have converted me. “cant take my paaaaaast” yee yee!

32. okay. so i think a big question was if snow was portrayed as properly slimy and ratworthy to ppl who did NOT read the books. in my opinion, i don’t think so. in the books, you can obviously tell he’s fucking awful. in the movies, he’s obviously shitty too, but i feel like there are moments where he’s portrayed way kinder than he actually is, like when he started crying over sejanus. they kept in a lot of stuff he said sympathizing w the tributes (like the part in the book where he was like “how could they punish marcus for trying to escape from certain death?” BUT they DID leave out parts that made him so intolerable, like when he genuinely convinced himself that lucy gray was more capitol than district / his gross thoughts abt the games and control and possessiveness in general. like remember when he said that having lucy gray locked up in the capitol was a better alternative than her being in d12 bc at least he’d know where she was at all times?? or when he was ready to give up on trying to reunite w her bc it was hot asf and SENJAUS had to be the one to convince him to keep going? wtf

33. ALSO something that bugged the hell out of me is sejanus’ death scene. bc in the book his last words were ma BUT in the movie it sounded so much like he said pa. idk if that was just me tho but it caught me so off guard bc this man has DADDY ISSUES and it would be so different if he said pa. Pa is money and wealth, Ma is comfort and compassion. wanting his dad = he rlly just wanted his dad to bail him out. wanting his ma = wanting comfort and stability. but it sounded a lot more like ma when the jabberjays repeated everything back so maybe i just misheard

34. snow glaring at the rainbow fucking sent me i know his ass was brainstorming (no pun intended) on how to control the fucking weather

35. okay sorry i need to talk more about how snow was portrayed. my sister went w me but i did not know that she didn’t know ANYTHING about the movie, she was just coming w me bc she felt bad that i’d have to wait another week to watch it and decided that she wasn’t even gonna read a summary abt it. like she did not know that coriolanus snow = president snow, but i was still hoping that she knew that he was a bad person. nope. as soon as we left, she told me how much she hated the ending, and i thought it was bc she was pissed no one found out about snow. nope again. in her words, “i thought they’d get married”

my live reaction to that information

to be fair, when i was her age, i thought heathers was a love story, so i had to cut her some slack. after a bit of INTERROGATION, this is what she told me:

1. at least she thought that HE’D move in with HER, and not the other way around

2. what would be his motivation for moving to the districts? cos obviously he hated the capitol

okay me when i write a lucy gray / sejanus fanfiction. but still. if that’s what she got from the portrayal of his character, i think it’s safe to say that they could have done a lot more work to ensure that he was perfectly ratworthy to the audience. like yes she’s young and yes she had no idea what the fuck was going on (in her words: “yeah i was like ‘i’ll just ask u to explain it to me after’”) but i feel like knowing that he’s an awful person who hates the district should be something u make GLARINGLY obvious, even if it would be cheesy. i know that shoving a hot person on screen and downplaying their characters HEINOUS crimes is rlly common when it comes to things like this, but i genuinely don’t think that was (quite) the case here. like he had the potential of being as horrible as he is in the book (not even hesitating to send the jabberyjay recording of sejanus to the capitol, telling sejanus he only said all that shit abt changing the world bc he just wanted to save his own ass) but it just.. felt very half-assed. in my opinion

36. look i know this post is already xtremely long but would u believe me if i said there were more things i wanted to talk abt but can’t remember bc i have goldfish memory?? bc i do. but that’s all i can remmeber for now. goodnight and goodbye

#long post #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #me being real #but seriously this is actually something i need to be talking about FOREVER i can’t stop thinking abt it

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thelonelyrainbowguy · 2 years ago

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So I finished Gregor and the Code of Claw and hi, I’m bawling. Suzanne Collins apparently didn’t start writing shocking deaths in the name of pointing out the pointlessness and horror of war with Prim in The Hunger Games—she started it with a BAT in her MIDDLE GRADE SERIES which really should be PG-13 at LEAST because GODDAMN.

I think Ares’ death hurt more than Prim’s because he dealt with so much hate after book 1, he was such an outcast even after all he had done to help the Underlanders, but had found love and devotion with Gregor, who brought him back into the family, as it were.

After all the hate and mistrust he’d dealt with, after betraying his longtime bond who he’d sworn to protect with his life in order to do the right thing and save Gregor, after illness and grief and countless injuries, he was still persevering, and finally being accepted back into Underland society. After the training that made him a better fighter with less chance of injury. After the hope Ripred provided by saying the prophecies were bullshit. Just when we were rooting so hard for him and for Gregor, when we thought things might turn out okay—he was cut down in one swift stroke (er, bite). No last words. No ceremony. Just gone.

(And don’t get me started on his claw clutched in Gregor’s unconscious hand in their bond gesture so tight that the fireflies had to CHEW IT OFF OF ARES in order to rescue Gregor. I’m gonna cry again.)

Whereas with Prim, from the very beginning, she was foreshadowed to die. We were constantly worried about her, then relieved when we found out she was okay, time after time. Narrow escape after narrow escape. When she was Reaped, when 12 was bombed, when 13 was under attack.

We even had the scene with Gale describing how his bomb scheme worked—first bomb, the medics rush in to help the wounded, second bomb. And we knew Prim was a medic. It was repeated so many times throughout Catching Fire and Mockingjay. Her taking over Gale’s treatment after the whipping post. Her helping care for Katniss after Catching Fire. In the bunker, telling Katniss she was in training to be a doctor.

Her death was heartbreaking, and felt like pointless shock value at first if you weren’t really looking ahead, but when you dissect the story so far and the morals that Collins was trying to drive home, it makes a horrible kind of sense.

(don’t @ me if I got some Hunger Games stuff wrong—I’ve watched the movies plenty of times, but I’ve only read the books once, soon after the first movie came out.)

#spoilers #the underland chronicles #the hunger games #Suzanne Collins #bookblr

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gilmores-glorious-blog · 1 year ago

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i rewatched the original hunger games movie,, have a liveblog because why the fuck not:

- i have such a hard time connecting donald sutherland’s snow with tbosas snow

- okay wait does every district have their own effie?? bc i want to learn more about that

- peeta is so much more babygirl than i remember him being

- okay now i’m seeing it a bit more because snow really does sound like gaul at certain points

- god this whole premise is so fucked up. like. oh my god.

- i love haymitch so much,, him being katniss’ father figure makes me so 😭😭

- the tech of the arena is wild i forgot how man-made it is

- i adore how charismatic haymitch can be when he wants to

- rue my beloved :’)

- the tracker jacker scene is CRAZY what a fucked up way to die

- rue’s death scene & everything that immediately follows it is ROUGH,, i’ve seen this movie multiple times before but i was still crying

- but also the katniss and sejanus parallels that people have pointed out in that scene (her with the flowers and him with the bread crumbs) make me insane

- “everyone likes an underdog” “i don’t.” 👀

- snow talking about going to district twelve and i’m just like 🤨🫵

- i literally could not give less of a shit about gale,, every time they cut to him just brooding back in district twelve?? awful.

- peeta going “then come here. please.” and them cuddling?? i’m insane 😭

- “now there’s no way i’m letting you go” no bc why is peeta so much more charming than i remember!!

- the guy from district 11 not killing katniss always gets me 🥲

- this is somewhat unrelated but,, if i had a nickel for every time i watched hunger games on an airplane with really bad turbulence, i’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice.

- the theory (that i wholeheartedly believe) about foxface killing herself is so. god. yeah.

- i always wish the movie had the whole thing from the books about the wolf-mutt things being the dead tributes because that is the type of fucked up shit i enjoy

- cato’s whole “i’m dead anyways” speech versus coral’s “i can’t have killed them all for nothing” bit……. i love me some messed up parallels

- the gamemakers changing the rules again is so fucking foul,, like i know that’s the whole point but goddamn….

- i genuinely had no memory of seneca dying,, little bitch deserved it though and also the method of killing him was lowkey kinda cool

- i love the new context tbosas gives,, snow saying “what a lovely pin” but we know that internally he’s freaking the fuck out

#i love these movies so much you guys #hopefully i can rewatch catching fire sometime soon bc that one is my favorite by far #the hunger games #eli.posts

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thedawningofthehour · 2 years ago

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Tbh I just love how Deep In The Shit Draxum and Galois are at this point with whatever the outcome of all of this is. I think, in a lot of stories where a main character is brainwashed and joins the bad guys, they always pull their punches in how long it lasts and what they do while they've switched sides. But here, not only has Draxum gotten Donnie/Galois to do some Heinous Shit (not only to his family once he figures all that shit out, but like. Yknow. War) but also??? The genuine emotional bond.

Like. In terms of long term damage and pain, the genuine care and rapport Draxum and Galois have is probably my favorite* part of DOTH because how do you 1) resolve the idea of someone who you think loves and cares about you and you have more in common with than almost anybody doing THAT to you and 2) how do you process that part of your life where things were undeniably good (and in some ways better) with the fact that it only came from pain and led you to do horrible things?? Every single twist in this story has me on the edge of my emotional seat Donnie is going to have psychological issues beyond comprehension when this is all done

*this is technically a lie because my real favorite thing about DOTH is your fantastic hidden city worldbuilding. Its become canon to me and also I could hear about how yokai society works forever. You really make it feel real in a way that really makes the story click. I also lump Draxums family under here bc they are legit fantastic break Bella out of jail so i may propose marriage

I very much dislike it when authors so clearly try to keep their precious darlings from doing anything problematic. Especially when they're trying to portray them as being morally grey or in the wrong, or even just showing poor judgement.

Katniss kills a civilian woman without hesitation to protect her squad. Zuko burns down Kyoshi village searching for the Avatar. Daenerys throws an entire region into chaos in her noble but naïve attempt to wipe out slavery. These are all characters we're supposed to like, that we generally do still like in spite of their problematic actions. (unless you're a Dany hater, in which case get off my blog and learn some reading comprehension) Their misdeeds give them depth, places to improve themselves and mature. That's what characters should be doing. If your protagonist keeps their hands clean the entire time, not only do they end up passive observers in their own story but it gives them no opportunity for growth. Daenerys learning from her ignorance and sculpting herself into a better ruler is not only a major component of her own story, but it's what sets her apart from the five kings. Avatar wouldn't be half of what it is without Zuko's redemption arc. And Katniss had to be that merciless, fatalistic Mockingjay to kill Coin-and killing Coin changes the meaning of the entire story.

The fucking world-building. I just watched a video today on world-building tips, and the guy doing the video essay used a Rubic's Cube as a metaphor for putting together all the different parts that make up a living, interesting fictional world and making them work together, with the disclaimer of DO NOT BUILD YOUR ENTIRE GODDAMN WORLD IN FULL DETAIL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE YOU WILL DIE. And I felt that on an emotional level. I've been re-reading ASOIAF lately, and I'm starting to develop more sympathy for Germ taking 'checks notes' twelve years so far to write the next book. I think he's legit weighed down by Worldbuilder's Disease and now the story is too big for him to hold up. I very much enjoy the world-building, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't. But oh my god it is a well with no bottom and I am pressing my feet and shoulders against the side trying not to fall.

#doth asks #i have no idea if anything i just said makes sense #i always love hearing from you though <3

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lolotr · 2 years ago

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10 fandoms 10 characters tag game

rules: name 10 of your favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people to do the same

Thank you @courfaeriedust for tagging me!! It's been so long since I have been tagged in something like this that when I saw the post on my dash I didn't even bother to check. It took the notification for me to figure it out lol

Here we go, in no particular order:

1. Kaleidotrope (podcast). I, too, will begin here, since it's been four years and I'm still not over it. As much as it pains me, I think I will pick Drew, but mostly because I resonate with him so goddamn much. One of the running themes of this list will be trauma.

2. Call Me Katie (web series). Bates, it's obviously Bates, it could never be anyone other than Bates. My disaster bi, the boy who helped me start to realize I'm queer, with his dumbass puns, his neediness, his obsession with vlogging and pizza... I could go on forever.

3. The Adventure Zone - Balance (podcast). Hoo boy. How do I... Magnus? Or Lup? I'm gonna go with Magnus, if only because he is the one who never fails to make me cry. Travis (and Griffin) does such beautiful things with this character and role plays BRILLIANTLY. well, they all do. gosh jeez this is hard

4. Lord of the Rings (books, movies). Never mind, this is super easy. Samwise Gamgee. Next fucking question.

5. Rusty Quill Gaming Podcast. AHHHHHGGGGDKEKXJDI Zolf or Sasha???? At this very moment Sasha. She just-- I just-- my stabbing girl. My damaged, stabbing girl.

6. Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus (book serieses). (These are the two in the verse I've read so far.) It feels like a cop out, but I think Percy. It was between him and Annabeth, and I absolutely love their dynamic, whether it's before or after dating. But Percy is so smart and capable in certain ways and so utterly stupid in others (I have a theory that both he and Annabeth take hits to their mental stats when they are within thirty feet of one another). He's loyal to a fault, he's obsessed with blue food, he fought the god of war at 12 and won, he dove into Tartarus rather than be separated from his girlfriend/best friend again, he even has ADHD. Truly the character of all time.

7. Avatar: The Last Airbender (TV show). Zuko. I love the whole gaang but his character is done so beautifully and complexly. Like that is how you do a redemption arc, people. From the very beginning. And you do not make it easy for this sixteen year old who has committed war crimes, no you don't.

8. The Hunger Games (book series). Peeta. I live that he is optimistic, kind, and principled, but not naive, oblivious, or weak. His flaws are the same as his strengths: he's self sacrificing, self effacing, loyal. Everyone rubs Katniss's nose in the fact that he's good except him. But also, he's not perfect, and there's a lot of complexity tied to the fact that everyone thinks he's better than Katniss in every way, but he's mostly just better at hiding the darker parts of him. I love that we see nothing but the darkest parts and he's able to come back.

9. Dames and Dragons/LegendLark - first campaign (podcast). Fran. Again, I adore everyone, including NPCs, but I have such a soft spot for her. Noel plays her so beautifully and isn't afraid to make her jarring, make her part of the inner conflict of the team. I love how she's grown, and I'm excited and scared to see how the show wraps up.

10. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV show). This is tough, because some people's characterization varies so wildly sometimes, but... Giles. I'm going with my sexy dad who cares so fucking much about his adopted child(ren).

I had a lot of trouble with this list, because I've been in fandom since I knew what it was. I picked things that I still enjoy, and also things that I still enjoy talking about/analyzing. Because that's how I show love.

PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU: @all-chickens-are-trans @chaotic-gay-is-my-alignment @sonseulsoleil @yeahdefnot @greatestvoyageinhistoryofplastic @rovermcfly @the-vaudevillain @anywhoozles @wire-smith @cantdance anyone who wants to! Sorry if I tagged anyone who's been tagged already, I was doing this on mobile and couldn't be bothered to check

#Long post #Tag game #Fandoms #Kaleidotrope #Taz balance #Btvs #dames and dragons #Pjo #Cmk #Lotr #Atla #Thg

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