#I LOVE 55 MINUTES.
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"Do you really hate me that much?" "It is not hate. I can not move forward until I tear you apart."
Bungo Stray Dogs, 55 Minutes, Pg. 144
#bsd#bungo stray dogs#shin soukoku#sskk#55 minutes#atsushi nakajima#akutagawa ryuunosuke#quotes#I LOVE 55 MINUTES.#in my head daily
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when i think about where the anime left off…
2 hours later
…i can’t stop thinking about this part of the s5 op
• Fukuchi + pages (of the book?)
• a hand ominously dropping a book (the book?)
• sskk charging into a fight
• the clock in the background
who do we know who deals with time travel?
and this is the last thing we heard from her 👀
the clock could just be symbolic of Amenogozen… but i’d love to see Wells make a reappearance since it’s relevant to her ability
it would also be a perfect time to tie in 55 Minutes (a more sskk focused light novel), & make another callback to the Order of the Clock Tower
i personally think 55 Minutes needs to be animated before Stormbringer, bc there’s so much foreshadowing & world building in it that’s important to Stormbringer
#i know it’s unlikely but i’d love to see a Verlaine + Wells team up#i love wells#also i’m not saying 55 Minutes is about sskk. just that there are important scenes for them in it#this is a half baked thought but. maybe someone else can make something of it#rambling about bsd again#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd meta#bsd analysis#bsd theories#bsd season 5#bsd 55 minutes#bsd 115#bsd wells#bsd atsushi#bsd aktugawa#bsd fukuchi#h g wells#atsushi nakajima#akutagawa ryuunosuke#fukuchi ouchi#bsd season 5 op
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Reasons why everyone should read 55 Minutes
#I love Atsushi so much. He's the protagonist and yet I'm here wishing we'd spend more time with him#atsushi nakajima#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd 55 minutes#mine#q.#11/09/23
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Every time I read 55 Minutes I always giggle at this art in the beginning and think abt the story from Akutagawa’s perspective cause he literally had one job that had nothing to do with Atsushi, saw something out of context and assumed Atsushi was a terrorist, got his memories sent back in time, immediately dropped everything he was supposed to do to hunt Atsushi down and kill him, and then ended up sort of teaming up with him to help defeat Gab in the end
#task failed successfully I guess#like atsushi is literally minding his own business and here’s comes Akutagawa#he’s soooo silly#55 minutes is a trip I love it#this my favorite ln fr#bsd#bungo stray dogs#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd 55 minutes#bsd atsushi#bsd akutagawa#bsd dazai
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bruhhhh I just started reading 55 minutes and its been a hot minute since ive actually engaged with bsd official content, and has kunikida always been an asshole 24/7? Maybe I'm forgetting
Damn Kunikida what did Atsushi do to you
KUNIKIDA. ATSUSHI IS THE ONLY ONE EVEN PAYING ATTENTIO TO YOU RIGHT NOW, HAVE SOME RESPECT
I don't think that jab was necessary Kunikida.
This is in the first couple pages btw and I'm laughing so much
#rambles#55 minutes#bsd#ill probably keep posting abt this since i love analyzing things before getting further context <3#bungou stray dogs#kunikida centric
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love letters at 11 minutes now....... silent screaming
#im just GENUINELY SO EXCITED when I can finish a piece#like.. love letters is ONLY self ship music#that is 11 minutes of music I wrote for people's ships#hopefully can finish two more this weekend.....#at this rate ll is going to be a solid album. like#55-60 minutes of stuff.#which is CRAZY?????#sorry im just so so hype#silver talks
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So @missholloween made some incredible art (go and check it out!!!) of Ms. Larvernor and Owen C. in the spyverance breakroom scene and posed a question in the caption of the post: how long would they be there? So I decided I was going to find out. Unnecessarily long ramble imminent.
There are a few different factors that affect just how long the whole thing would take. The key pieces of information I'm starting with is the full text of the compunction statement, taken from the original show, and @smytherines' suggestion that Owen C. would have to repeat the statement 1147 times. Working around that figure, the key questions become: how long does each reading of the statement take? How long between repeats? What other factors affect the total length of time taken?
Factors that would shorten the total time: faster runs of the statement and false starts/paraphrases counting towards the total. Lengthening factors: slower runs of the statement, false starts/paraphrases not counting towards the total, any extra interaction/hesitation/argument/pleading that doesn't affect the counter or achieve the goal of sounding 'sincere enough'.
I timed the statement with a slow pace and emphatic delivery (if your goal is to sound like you mean it and you don't know when it's going to end, you're probably going to try to make most attempts count) and got 25 seconds. Because there seem to be more potential lengthening factors, this was rounded up to 30 seconds per repeat to account for extra interaction. As a figure for the amount of time in between repeats, I went for 10 seconds, as an in-between of the torturously slow pace of the original scene and a more efficient pace to ask someone to repeat something. This gives a rough estimate of 40 seconds per attempt.
1147 attempts, taking 40 seconds per attempt, takes about 45880 seconds in total. This works out as 12 hours, 44 minutes, and 40 seconds. Add an extra 20 seconds for whatever Ms. Larvernor says when she deems the final attempt satisfactory, and we get a nice round figure of 12 hours and 45 minutes.
#spyverance#you opened the box#this was originally in my tag ramble on the art but i have moved it to its own post since i don't want to derail things#using the same method of 40 seconds per attempt plus an extra 20 seconds helly's 1072 repeats clock in at 11 hours and 55 minutes exactly#so i may have ended up with an overestimate for both. wanted to include my reasoning though which is why this post is so long#i may not know enough about severance for a more substantial contribution to spyverance but i can spend too long on estimation!#anyway this au is driving me mad and i love it. it's so horrendously messed up and it's wonderful#my wonderful mutuals making brilliant spyverance posts i wanna be the devil on your shoulder cheering you on /pos#edit even if we go for a much smaller estimate - i'll be nice and cut it in half! - that's still over six hours
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11:05
#next up on how many more times can i possibly render red water before i go insane#jules gabriel verne#jules verne#gab bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd#55 minutes#bsd light novel#bsd fanart#fanart#my art#FINALLY DREW GAB. GAB MY LITTLE GUY.#please there are like 4 official drawings of this man and no fanart plEASSEEEE draw more gab i love this man#fuck you dazai fuck you fukuchi gab was the biggest shin soukoku shipper
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Just finished reading Bungo Stray Dogs: 55 minutes
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO GOOD I HOPE THIS GETS A MOVIE OR SOMETHING GIVEN THAT WE'RE PROBABLY NOT GETTING ANOTHER SEASON OF THE ANIME FOR ABOUT 3-4 YEARS
The theives were brilliant, the villain was so fucking amazing holy shit asagiri has outdone himself with this novel. I loved all of it, it was hilarious, the tension was high (well about as high as a spinoff could be), and the characters were amazing.
Asagiri made H.G Wells into a time travelling trans woman. Best book of all time.
#bungo stray dogs light novel#bsd light novel#bsd 55 minutes#55 minutes#kafka asagiri#omg i love this book so much
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Silly Gab
I love my silly terrorist baby boy
#55 minutes#bsd#bsd fanart#bungou stray dogs#doodle#fanart#i love gab so much#gabriel verne#gab#jules verne
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Minor Literally Irrelevant Background Characters Asagiri Needs to Expand More On by WatchMojo
#i love them both#Long-Suffering Train Driver#Badass old man banking accountant#stormbringer#55 minutes#bungou stray dogs#bsd#akutagawa ryuunosuke#mori ougai#their reuptations are THRIVING#the port mafia boss! railroad companies fucking despise him!#bungo stray dogs
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Akutagawa will be like “You can't save Dazai-san untill you have an official degree in saving Dazai-san like I do, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve”
#He's so dumb I love him#atsushi nakajima#osamu dazai#ryūnosuke akutagawa#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd 55 minutes#mine#q.#19/08/22
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you remind me of a time i wish i could go back to; a time in which i would obsessively read and keep reading about anything that interested me slightly. i would stumble into entirely new ways of thinking with all the delicacy of a bull in a china shop, and learn to engage with it on its own terms. the ability got lost somewhere in the haze that was school and uni and people and work and now i’ve… lost the ability to think on my own. it comes maybe twice a month, in random bursts, and i fucking hate that i don’t have access to it continuously anymore. i hate that now when i’m bored i can’t think up stories in my head and chew on ideas in my free time. i see you and i’m so happy and so envious; i wish for my thirst for life back. i’m so tired. i’m saying this to you because, of all people, might be able to see it clearly. i respect the fact that you managed to retain it to adulthood or beyond is so much. you don’t know how much that means to me, as a young adult.
If it helps, I don't read nearly as much as I did as a kiddo. Like, not even remotely close. Quite frankly, I've only recently gotten back into reading lit, after years of only reading comics and manga, and not nearly at the volume I did before.
But! There are all sorts of opportunities to engage with stories and ideas and reconnect the synapses that spit where they used to spark. Once, in the throes of a heavy and prolonged period of uncertainty, I was gripped by the color of spray paint on the sidewalk on the way to pick up an espresso while sleep deprived. I consciously chose to stop and appreciate it.
Which is to say, I also get exhausted and burnt out and go through periods where I wonder if I've lost some fundamental part of myself. But then I rest or I change my routine or I receive an affirmation I didn't realize I desperately needed, and my verve returns, as it does. I think having pediatric onset bipolar disorder has advantaged me in this regard because even when I feel like nothing, I know that the intensity will return, and that it will continue to ebb and flow like the tides. I used to dread the ebb, but the ebb has its own value, too; in the ebb is where I nurture roots.
But to my earlier point, there are lots of stories and ideas buried in all sorts of moments. We can imbue meaning in the things we do as an observed ritual until it becomes habit until it becomes sincere. And for the periods in which we can't, it's worth remembering that the winter solstice is the longest evening of the year, but the sun will come back because it always has. In the meantime, you can stoke a hearth and sip on coaxed together warmth while tucking into your memory this grief so that you will recognize what you've been missing when it returns, so that feeling excited is remarkable enough to cut the present ennui. In time, you'll start to feel substance in the contours of the grief, too, because to be exhausted and numb and tired means that you exist enough to be anything at all.
And, if you're too untethered from yourself for even that, find something mundane and look for a glimmer of anything worth observing. If you can't find anything, choose to give some facet of what you see meaning anyway.
(It's not that the sidewalk was purple. It's that I chose to see that it was that particular, beautiful shade of purple rather than remain adrift into my own ether and, in doing so, tethered my intangible enormity in something tangible enough for me to stoke while I weathered the season.)
If you practice enough, this becomes muscle memory. Same with thinking on your own. I don't think reading is ever enough on its own anyway; sometimes, we mirror ideas and mistake them for our own. Or we encounter ideas but don't allow ourselves to be changed by them.
It's why it's important to engage intentionally, and it doesn't have to be with text. It can be with movies, art, those around us, our environment, our own understanding of the world, the condensation on a window. Mindfulness helps, but so does adopting the mindset of a toddler and asking why? Constantly. Again, it may begin as a rote exercise, but the more you do it, the more it becomes muscle memory. If you think you know something, consciously stop and ask why? Where did you learn that? What assumptions does your conclusion rely on? Could there be another explanation? Pretend you're someone else for a moment, a favorite character or historical figure or loved one. What would they think given the same facts? Also important is saying, like a toddler, because I said so! as the only reason you need. Try things for the sake of having not tried them before. There's a reason why Lao Tzu advises being like a newborn baby, soft boned with a strong grip.
There's very little I do, read, watch, or consume that I don't think about applying elsewhere, too. This is sometimes exhausting. But it's also where I get my well of passion. Because there's always an opportunity for meaning, my life bursts with it.
This doesn't mean I don't still have rough weeks or months or years. I have bipolar, adhd, cptsd, and social phobia; I have frequent insomnia and sleep paralysis, etc. etc. But I look forward to what I might learn next, and there's purpose and intention to how I experience even my lows. The life I'm currently living is so unlike where I came from, in part because I decided I wanted meaning and purpose. Before I knew what that was supposed to look like, I picked a direction and strove for it, feeling out what I couldn't see. I still do, when necessary. It will always be necessary.
So, while I don't know if what works for me will work for you, I can promise that something will excite you again, eventually. Adulthood isn't a linear decline or a separation from yourself. It's variable and dynamic, and you have agency in what you do with that. There isn't any objective meaning or purpose to be assigned, so you get to choose it for yourself, and it can be as variable and dynamic as you need it to be. So, if you don't want to grow into someone who can't think on your own, you don't have to. If you don't like your current state of mind, you don't need to settle in it.
tl;dr: It's not what I've retained, it's that I've ebbed and flowed and changed, and given myself the space to clumsily stumble towards what I want and what I value, even if I'm not always sure what those are. I'm letting go of the construct that I have to be anything, and I emphatically choose not to be lots of things. It's a process, and it's nonlinear. But nothing is, and there's grace in the inevitably of ebb.
#i dont mean to soapbox#or pretend i dont still struggle to let go of constructs that arent serving me#but i HAVE let go of so many#and people dont always understand or appreciate or like what im doing#or that what i have is more than it is or that it's easy or that im doing more than i am#and like without discounting luck and privilege and opportunities#i wouldnt have most of what i love and what is good about my life and mental health if not for conscious and discernible choices i made#not even really on faith so much as i have a version of atsushi's tiger in my own psyche that drags me forward#(literally reading 55 minutes was surreal because a passage is so close to things my mental health team have told me)#BUT#even then#there were choices i had to make to move forward rather than be dragged painfully#and there were times i didnt make the choices i should have#and i carried those not as burdens but as resolve to make the next right choice#because as overwhelming as choice can be#it's also really forigiving#so anyway yeah you can decide shit for yourself#and the more you decide you have choices. the more choices you have. because it's also a choice to decide there arent any at all#the choices arent always GOOD choices. but theres a kernal of agency. not to taunt you or punish you.#but to offer you again and again opportunities to make choices that you can live with
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I feel insane I get it now I get it twelveclara IS everything. they make me want to run up the walls and bounce around and grin so hard it hurts and I love them
#I never thought I'd actually find it in myself to be able to ship the doctor with anyone but rose#but they've done it#five minutes of sitting around in that restaurant and I've been won over#god they're hilarious#ohh and I just got to the 55 minute mark#CLARA OSWIN OSWALD I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU FOREVA YOU CLEVER CLEVER GIRL!!!!!#I JUST FINISHED THE EPISODE ELEVEN NOOOO I DIDN'T THINK I'D MISS HIM#I feel so insane I wanted her to take his hand so badly it makes me dizzy#I'm so used to rose just grabbing onto him without hesitation CLARA PLEASE HIS ARM IS JUST HANGING THERE WAITING#sorry you had to read my live reaction to deep breath lmao I didn't want to post until I saw the whole thing and then I just kept on adding#twelveclara#whouffaldi#twelfth doctor#clara oswald#doctor who
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#well I just submitted my essay for my history class so I'm finally done with finals#I wish I felt happier or relieved or something but I don't. I feel awful. my body hurts from the incredible amount of tension/anxiety I had#trying to finish it before 11:59. I submitted it at 11:55. I have never come that close before and I hate it#the amount of anxiety I had you'd think the deadline was hunting me for sport#and what's worse is I felt all this anxiety and put all this work into it and I'm not even happy about it#I spent two days trying to figure out what he wanted us to write about because apparently he just seems to be really bad at instructions#like I thought maybe it was just me overthinking but I spent two hours talking to my mom about it and in the end even she couldn't figure i#so then I had only two days to gather notes make an outline write an essay. while burnt out and barely able to focus.#and while not knowing exactly what I was doing like is this what he wants. is it not. who knows I literally don't have time left#to figure it out I just need to write something and hope it works#but I hate being unsure it makes everything harder#especially because I really wanted to make a good grade. this was the class where I made a 78 on my midterm#which brought my class grade to a B but I'd been able to get it back to an A and I'd be able to keep it if I got like an 80ish on the final#the essay turned out okay idk if it's what he wanted but whatever at least I got the other requirements like word count and sources#but the CITATIONS...we had to use chicago which I'd never used before and let me just say. mla is the love of my life after this.#actually chicago might not be that bad if I got used to it I think my violence should be directed toward every word processor#that links footnotes. it is so STUPID that there isn't an easier way to make them different#if it hadn't been for trying to figure out footnotes on google docs I could've submitted it like ten minutes earlier#and with phenomenally less stress#I eventually had to make a choice as to what I'd give up: (1) submitting it on time (2) perfect citations or (3) word doc#which is what he wanted it submitted as#except when I tried that thank goodness I looked at the preview before I submitted it because I saw that it'd messed up the citations#I ended up submitting it as a pdf. on time. with perfect (maybe) (I didn't have time to double check) citations. but not as a word doc.#is it the end of the world? idk probably not but not meeting a professor's requirements is like. anathema.#all of that is to say that I'm going to cry and then let it go and get to bed and just. idk. I've reached that point where#I'm so tired and numb that it feels like I'll never feel better#anyway#maybe I hurt because of my meds and the side effects decided to kick in now because the grace of God held them back long enough#for me to finish#earl crow ramblings
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if i had a nickel for every time the ada has been framed for being terrorists complicit in murder i would have two nickels. which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice
#original post#i finally got 55 minutes and i think its swiftly becoming my favorite ln#theres so much going on and i LOVE it#not gonna live post just because i dont want to spoil anything but its genuinely good. please read it#bungou stray dogs#bsd 55 minutes
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