#I LIVED WITH A MOTHER WITH HIGH EXPECTATIONS OKAY IT HITS DIFFERENT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

munsonfamilyband · 2 years ago

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500 Follower Special!!!! I still cannot believe that I've hit 500 followers on this blog, it seems surreal honestly. I know it's cliche, but I never expected really any followers but you guys seemed to like what I write enough to follow and I cannot thank you all enough.

This is a companion piece to my Different Meeting AU, it can be read on it’s own but I would recommend reading at least the first part for the context.

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Wayne Munson hadn’t always lived in Hawkins, Indiana. In fact, he grew up in Louisiana, so Hawkins was very far from home, but after the war, he needed a change of scenery. He bounced around awhile, moving around in the south and midwest before finding Hawkins.

Before moving to Hawkins, Wayne had lived only a couple blocks away from his brother and his family - not that he ever saw his brother, but he saw his wife and son plenty. Eddie was an energetic kid but he had so much joy in him that it made it all okay, until his mother died. Wayne never really got the full story about what happened, just that she was gone and his brother was going to jail. After that day, Wayne packed up Eddie and took him back home with him. Eddie was going into the 8th grade and his hair had yet to grow back from when his father had shaved it all off, so Wayne promised himself that he would help Eddie succeed.

Eddie didn’t thrive in the ways Wayne expected but he took to playing guitar like breathing and he found good friends who all played that nerd game with him. Unfortunately, with how small Hawkins was, Wayne had learned quickly that they were both outsiders - and he learned who wasn’t. He heard the Harrington name all over town and it meant that he was prepared when Richard Harrington and he ran into each other for the first time. The man was cruel, that was the only way to describe it, and he looked at Wayne like he was dirt on his shoe. That short interaction was enough to convince Wayne that the Harringtons were awful people who were not to be trusted. His opinion on the Harringtons didn't improve when Eddie was in high school and their son, who was a year younger than Eddie, became a common talking point at their dinners. Eddie complained about how the kid walked around like everyone was beneath him, rarely even talking to anyone. Instead he let his flock harass and humiliate people like Eddie. Wayne did notice that the bullying and harassment stopped for Eddie shortly after he started his junior year, around the same time the trailer started to stink of weed. He knew that there would be no way to fully control what Eddie did in his spare time, but Wayne did warn him about getting mixed up with drugs; he told him about how his brother had been using all the time. That at least got Eddie to be safer, and he seemed to avoid using anything but weed so Wayne could be okay with that.

In ‘83 things in Hawkins started to get weird; kids dying and coming back to life, entire fields of crops dying overnight and Wayne was worried but without any information he had no idea what was really happening. Then in ‘85 the mall burned down and 30 people died, sending a shockwave through the entire town; even Eddie was quiet in the few days after. But about a week after the fire Eddie started acting more like himself, but still odd. He only got weirder when asked what was going on, but Wayne found out what was happening with Eddie two weeks after the fire when he came home to his kid sitting on their coffee table in front of another boy. Another boy with bruises all over his face and a split lip, but more importantly with very identifying hair - Steve Harrington was in his home. It may have been his own distrust, but when Wayne saw Steve flinch, he didn’t think about how awful his father was and how likely Richard Harrington was to hit his own kid. No, he thought about how his father looked at Wayne like he was less than nothing, and he assumed the worst in Steve, that he was reacting the same way. Eddie had turned to look at Wayne, oddly staying where he was by Steve.

“Wayne, you’re home early. Steve just needed some help, his-“

“I’m okay, I should probably get going anyway. Thank you for helping me, Eddie. I’ll see you tomorrow.” The boy cut Eddie off mid sentence and then ran out of the trailer like it was on fire. Wayne couldn’t help but think it was typical that he would want to get out of there, it was beneath him after all.

“What’s with that look, old man? Steve is a friend and he needed help so why do you look like I shit in your coffee?” Wayne looked back at Eddie, who was cleaning up the first aid supplies on the table.

“Since when are you friends with people like him?” He realized after he said it that the wording could have definitely been better, but it was too late by then to take it back.

“What’s that supposed to mean? What, because he’s rich I can’t be his friend?”

“Eddie, you know what I meant. You know what his daddy is like, and all the sudden you’re hanging out with his kid? Harringtons are no good, nasty people, you agreed with me on that.” Eddie scoffed in response, even rolling his eyes, which Wayne thought was a bit much but Eddie was always dramatic.

“Yeah, I know exactly what his dad is like, Wayne. Look, I probably shouldn’t even say this but if it will stop you from glaring daggers at Steve… the whole reason he came here was because his dad hit him and he needed someone to help clean him up, okay? So, yeah, I know what his dad is like.” Wayne was forced to then reassess the moment Steve flinched when he entered the trailer, it wasn’t because of who Wayne is, it was because he was an adult man entering unannounced.

“Alright, then I’m sorry for assuming. But still, kid, you complained about him all the time last year, so I’m a little surprised that you’re hanging out with him.”

“Yeah, me too, honestly. But, he came to see me last week for some…stuff. He was in the mall fire and he couldn’t sleep. We’ve been talking since then and he’s actually a pretty okay guy.”

~~~

After that night, Wayne saw a lot more of Steve Harrington and with each meeting Wayne noticed things that were pointing him towards a new understanding of the kid. The first being how jumpy the kid was, and not just around him. Wayne knew the signs of abuse, he saw plenty of them in Eddie and his ma for years, but with Steve it seemed like... more. He had a look in his eyes that was too close to the looks in Wayne and his fellow veterans' eyes, like he had seen too much of something he shouldn't have. The kid flinched whenever the lights flickered and he stared at the woods like there was something in there waiting to come eat him. When he started sleeping over at the trailer, the few times that Wayne was home to see it, Steve would wake up screaming multiple times during the night. He would listen to Eddie calm him down and then Steve would start speaking to other people, probably using the walkie talkie he always had on him.

The second thing Wayne noticed was the way he and Eddie acted around each other. Now, Eddie had never come out and said anything about his preferences, but Wayne had spent enough time in the military, and in the south growing up, to recognize when someone is trying to hide their attraction to other men. It had never been a problem in Wayne's mind, but with Eddie he did worry about his safety, especially with that disease that started in California. Point was, he knew Eddie liked men - Wayne wasn't even surprised that Eddie seemed to like Steve. What did surprise Wayne was that Steve seemed to like Eddie back. The two of them always sat as close as they possibly could together, sharing meaningful looks when they all had dinner together. Hell, Wayne had come home to them curled up on the couch together while the TV was still on, clearly having fallen asleep watching a movie together. He had no idea if they knew about their mutual attraction but he wouldn't pry, it was better if Eddie was allowed to tell him himself.

The final thing Wayne noticed about Steve, the one thing that settled Steve into a permanent spot in his heart, was how he seemed to collect people like Eddie did. The first one of Steve's friends that he met was the Robin girl. When she first showed up, Wayne was nervous that she was Steve's girlfriend and they were about to break Eddie's heart, but then he saw how they interacted. Her and Steve seemed to be extensions of each other, the same brain in two bodies. They bickered like siblings and defended each other just as fiercely, even from each other. He had overheard multiple conversations where she went from teasing him to relentlessly complimenting him all because he got too self deprecating. Steve did the same for her, including talking about the girl she liked - Wayne definitely wasn't supposed to hear that part, but he was happy that Eddie had more people like him to talk to. The next people he saw Steve collect was, somehow, Eddie's band. He's not sure how it happened, because those boys complained about people like Steve just like Eddie did, but suddenly they were all friends with Steve and he and Gareth were talking about hair care (if Wayne heard them plotting to get Eddie to care for his hair, he didn't say anything). The last of Steve's friends came in pieces. It started with the Mayfield girl across the way from them; Wayne saw her and Steve sitting on the steps of her trailer one morning when he came home from work, Steve had his arm around her and she was leaning into his space. They weren't talking, they were just sitting together, soaking up the other person's presence. He heard other names mentioned - Wheeler, Sinclair, Henderson, even Byers - but he didn't see Steve with any of them for a while. When the school year started, with Eddie going back for attempt number 3, he came home a week into the year and announced that he had found new members for his little club. When Steve showed up that night for dinner, Eddie told Steve that he had found his kids and the look of relief on Steve's face was hard to look at. He started seeing Steve with the kids after that, whether it was picking them up from something with Eddie or just driving them around town. He saw how Steve cared for those kids, and that cemented Steve's place in Wayne's heart.

Here was this kid who had been put through hell, with a clearly abusive father and an absent mother, who had seen things no teenager should have seen. This kid who had ever right to be cruel and mean to the world that had been nothing but cruel and mean to him, and he was caring for kids that he had no reason to care for, who stared at his kid like he was gifting Steve with his time. Wayne decided that Steve was part of his little family now, whether he liked it or not.

Around the start of October, Eddie and Steve sat him down and Wayne instantly knew what was about to happen, but he refused to interrupt - this was important for them to do, together. But when they finally told him that they were dating, and had been since August, he nearly cried with how happy he was for them. He told them how much he loved them both and he told Steve that he would always have a place as a Munson, whether he and Eddie stayed together or not.

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #different meeting au #500 follower special!!!#i love wayne and he adores steve #fr wayne sees himself in steve and is like “well shit guess i have another kid”#he calls steve “your boy” when he asks eddie about him

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sweetbillwriting · 10 months ago

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Love Just Happens

Never Wrong - Part 16

Characters: The future's Bill Skarsgård and others close to him. The rest is my own characters.

Setting: This story is set in the future but because it's hard to say how the world is then (and it isn't that important for the story) the future is similar to our time now, even with fashion and so on.

Warnings: 18+, age difference, smut, alcohol, ageism, family drama, sexism.

Bill had never met anyone from Aurora’s extended family and looked at the man with surprise. He thought most of her relatives lived in Spain or Boston so he hadn't expected to see her uncle at an afterparty in Hollywood.

“Oh, really? Shit…” he said, with a smirk and turned to the man when he had said goodbye to his other company. He was a bit tipsy and that let his curiosity take over even if he knew Aurora didn't have any contact with them.

“I haven't met any of Aurora's relatives,” he said honestly and looked at the man with fascination. He had short, a bit over styled hair and soft facial features. He had some similarities with Melinda and in that way also Aurora.

Felix laughed a little and wagged his head from left to right.

“Yeah unfortunately it has become that way… I was really young when everything happened in the family…”

The man looked down at the floor sadly and it made Bill feel with him.

“I don't think Aurora cares that much about all of that, she has so many other things to think about,” he said as comfort.

The man looked up at him with a smile.

“Yeah, I heard you have a kid, a girl, right?”

“Yeah, she's seven months old,” Bill said with a proud smile and put down his beer bottle on the high table in front of him.

Felix laughed friendly.

“Lou a mother… She said already at fourteen she wouldn't have children. I believed her, she seemed to be focused on her career. I guess all girls just want to marry and have children if they're really honest.”

Bill furrowed his brows, he didn't believe that but didn't think Felix’s opinion was something to judge him for.

“I think many women choose other things in life and are pleased with that. Aurora…” At first he was going to say it was him who wanted kids but that would sound like he had forced her.

“I think my kids from my earlier relationship made her change her mind. She's really close to them.”

It wasn't really the truth but he didn't know what to say otherwise.

Felix nodded a little.

“I really want to see her, do you think she would be open to that?”

“Yeah sure, but we live in Sweden. Maybe it will be hard.”

“Oh, right, you live in Sweden… Damn, you have really had an impact on her, haven't you?” Felix hit his arm playfully with his fist like they were friends. Bill thought the comment was weird but was also a bit proud over Aurora’s and his life.

He shrugged his shoulders and hid a smirk.

“We fell in love, hard.”

He thought it felt a bit silly to say it but it was the truth. Sometimes the truth was simple and rose tinted.

Felix smiled softly and then took up his phone from his back pocket.

“Would it be okay if I got your number? So maybe we can arrange to see each other one day, with Aurora?”

Bill licked his lips and gave him a doubtful look. He never gave out his number like that.

“Emm… Can I give you my manager's number? He tells me right away when someone has called.”

Felix nodded a bit disappointed and put down his phone on the high table.

“I get it… I might be family but it's the first time we meet.”

Bill made a sound of amusement. He thought it was a silly joke that they were family but Felix looked at him seriously so Bill swallowed the laugh and looked around in the room uncomfortably. Felix clapped his shoulder and shook him a bit to get his attention again then gave him a big smile.

“Arrange something. I really want to meet my niece and her baby.”

×××

Bill had a bad feeling in the car home. They had picked him up ten minutes ago and he knew there was just ten minutes left in the car and during that time he needed to decide what he would say to Aurora. Now when he was alone it didn't feel like it was a good idea that he had talked to Felix, but what else should he have done? It was his wife's relative and there were people all around them. He dreaded telling Aurora. He didn't want a fight, they rarely fought and it always made him have the most awful catastrophic thinking. He hated it when she started to drag her wedding rings up and down her finger, he knew it was an unconscious action but it felt like she wanted to taunt him.

He jumped out of the car and locked up the gate. He walked the long way to the door but even if it was so long it didn't feel long enough. Fuck, she would be mad as hell. This was a wound for both her and her parents and he had stood around laughing with one of the perpetrators. Fuck!

He walked into the house. She had left the light on in the hallway for him. On the bench by the door lay a note with an arrow towards the kitchen in her girly but doodly handwriting: “Bolognese in the fridge. I promise I haven't made it.”

He smiled and dragged his thumb over the little heart she had drawn in the lower part of the note.

He didn't eat, he was too worried for that. He needed to just to get it done. Get the fight done so that after he could do everything in his power to fix the mess.

He went up to the bedroom and slowly took off his suit. Aurora laid on her back sleeping, like always she snored but she was happily unconscious that she sounded a bit like a pig getting strangled. He had never told her that, even lied and said she doesn't snore at all. Sometimes lies are okay. He walked into the bedroom next to theirs where Isadora slept in a playpen. He looked down at her sleeping in the same positions as her mother and he patted her lightly on her stomach. The floral pajamas were soft against his fingers.

“I must tell mamma, right?” He said with a sigh and stood up.

He walked to the bedroom again and crawled down next to Aurora. He smirked when she made that high pitched sound, like a screaming pig. It was her highest note that was everything other than pretty in her sleep. She probably dreamt she was singing.

“Babe?” He said and shook her arm lightly. He just wanted to say it at once. Maybe he had actually started up something again. A feud in her family, again.

She crawled closer to him and laid down on his chest as a habit. He dragged his hand over her back and let his hand crawl down her nightgown to feel her smooth back. He could feel Aurora smirk against his chest and with soft fingers she started to drag her nails just over his boxers’ elastic. He had come home like that before, horny and tired and she seemed to believe it was the same this night. He took a deep breath but it was hard to stop her. Her hand snuck down and she dragged her fingers through his pubic hair. He grew fast and when her hand took a grip around his length he was fully hard. He took several deep breaths but they became strained when she started to jerk him off with a skillful hand. She knew exactly the pressure he wanted and what circle motion that made his toes curl. He smiled and let the feeling consume him. She dragged her thumb over his sensitive tip and spread it out over the blushing head.

“I want your mouth…” he whispered in her ear. He had almost forgotten Felix and knew what would make him disappear completely.

Aurora giggled and watched him pull off his boxers and kick away the cover. He spread his legs, inviting her in between them. He gave her a hooded gaze, just waiting on her being the perfect wife. He loved that she always left food in the fridge for him but a blow job after a premiere was even better. Aurora climbed over one of his long legs to be able to settle between them and then laid down on her stomach. She looked up at her husband but he had shut his eyes and licked his lips in anticipation. When he felt her lips on his pubic bone, kissing down to his length he inhaled deeply. He wanted her to blow him, not tease him and with a grip around his hard on he guided his tip to her lips. It was the alcohol making him so eager but he didn't reflect on it right then and there. Aurora looked up at him amused, he rarely tried to guide her like that.

“Please?” He said painfully and laid his hand on the back of her neck and pushed lightly. She scoffed at him and sat up. Bill looked at her and got at once bad conscience. Had he gone too far?

“You’re acting weird… Is it something?”

Bill shook his head but for a second he saw Felix’s face in his head. He just wanted to think about something else than the mistake he may have made.

“Okay… But if you want a blowjob I will do it my way,” she said with a firm voice. Bill nodded again.

“I'm sorry…”

“You know I don't like that style…”

“I know. I'm really sorry, babe.”

Aurora nodded and gave him a small smile before lying down again. She knew Bill was her soft, kind husband and just because of that she at once started with licking his tip. Bill moaned and smiled to himself. This would make his brain become mush. This would relax him. She sucked his tip but shifted with licking the underside with a harder pressure and slowly she worked her mouth down his shaft. Bill moaned but also let out a pleased laugh when she teased his tip or let her tongue drag over his balls.

When she bobbed her head to make her lips drag over his shaft he laid his hand on the back of her neck again. He looked down again, searching for permission to push her down a bit. He was all for consent and she loved that. She smiled with his cock in her mouth and it made her teeth graze a bit over his skin. The action made Bill jump but he just chuckled softly at it. When she started to bob her head again he pushed her down a bit, feeling his cock sliding down her throat where he could feel its tightness around his tip. He looked down at his girl, working so hard for him, with his precum and her own saliva on her face. She worked so hard for his pleasure…

“Aurora,” said he strained and his voice even broke a bit. He wasn't ready to talk but must. She let his cock go with her mouth but didn't stop working his shaft with her hand.

“Stop for a second…” he rubbed his eyes and sat up. Aurora sat up and looked at him confused.

“It is actually something…”

“Okay?” She said, wiping her mouth and cheeks with her hand awkwardly. It was one thing being so messy in action but sitting having a serious conversation with cum on her face felt a bit unworthy.

“Emm… I met your uncle tonight. Felix? He said he’s your favorite.”

Bill looked at her with searching eyes, especially when her brows furrowed and she looked at him in disbelief.

“Did you talk to him?” She said and moved away from him. She didn't want to hear the answer even if she knew. Bill couldn't understand this.

“Yeah but just shortly… He seemed sad that it is how it is…”

Aurora looked away and shook her head.

“And you believe him? After what I have told you?”

She had told him about how her family had first started to pressure Paolo about money when he started to earn more and then they did the same towards her. They had even done interviews about her to get money.

“No or… I don't know? People can change you know?” Bill felt his heart beat hard. Now it was here, the fight.

“Oh yeah and you are sure he has because he acted like a bro towards you, or what?” He could hear that she was seriously mad even if she didn't raise her voice. He swallowed hard and looked at her standing up and taking her pillow and cover.

“What are you doing?” He said. He could hear how pathetic he sounded and it seemed like she could hear it too. She paused and stood and looked at him with glassy eyes.

“You aren't right all the time. This was so stupid. My mom will hate you, you know?”

Bill sat quietly in bed. He knew he was in the wrong, still he didn't say it. He should just admit it but didn't want to confess he had done something so stupid. If he confessed it, it felt like he said out loud that he was stupid.

“God, you can't even say you're sorry. That's my family and it's my choice what kinda contact I want to have with them!”

“Yeah but I just wanted-” Bill was interrupted by Aurora, who was holding up a finger.

“No. You're my husband, you should be on my side. It doesn't matter what you want.” Aurora shook her head in disbelief and walked away with her bedding. Bill laid down with his fingers pushed into his hair. He didn't want to fight, still it was something that stopped him from saying he was wrong. He pulled on his boxers again and sat down on the side of the bed. He should say he's sorry. He should do that but it felt like he had too little information to do that. He didn't know much about that conflict, maybe it was really silly, all of it? Maybe Felix hadn't done much at all to lose contact with Aurora and her parents. He said he was young when it happened. He tried to put an age on Felix but it was hard. Older than Aurora, younger than himself? It didn't say anything really. He yawned and wished he could go to sleep but wouldn't be able to relax until Aurora was lying next to him.

He walked out of the bedroom to try to find her. First place he looked was the room Isadora was sleeping in and found Aurora in the bed. There was already bedding there but she was probably too proud to walk back with the other bedding to their room.

“Can't we talk about it?” He said with a low voice to not wake Isadora.

“No,” said Aurora sourly and turned so she had her back against him.

“Come on..! I said like five sentences to him.”

He sounded more irritated than he wanted. He had followed her to make everything okay, instead it sounded like he tried to fight.

“What five sentences was that? I guess it wasn't about the movie…” she sounded just as irritated as him.

“We talked…” Bill tried to come up with something to say she wouldn't be upset about.

“Don't pick and choose, just say it.”

Bill moved into the room but sat down on an armchair instead of sitting down on the bed. He looked at Aurora who sat up in bed. She looked at him disappointed and it made him lower his eyes again.

“You know the usual? How life is…”

“Like what?”

“That we live in Sweden… A bit about Isadora…”

Aurora groaned and crossed her arms.

“Did he say anything about his life?”

Bill thought back to the meeting. They had just talked about Aurora and him. He didn't even know why he was there.

“No… We just didn't get to that.”

“Right…” said Aurora, annoyed.

“Hey, give me some slack here. I don't know anything about this fight really, of course it's hard for me to understand why I shouldn't talk to him.” He crawled down on the ground and stood on his knees in front of Aurora. She looked at him sadly but let him take her hand.

“I don't know much either… But my parents have always gotten really upset if anything about their families came up…” She looked at Bill and saw him nod, like he tried to make her question it all. “But that doesn't matter. My mom and dad are my family and I will support them the same way I wish you supported me in this.”

Bill looked at her with big eyes while playing with her fingers. He had known the whole time he was the one in wrong so it was time to say it:

“I'm sorry…” he looked up at her then kissed her hand several times. Aurora moved closer to him, to the edge of the bed, so he could lay his head in her lap and she dragged her fingers through his hair.

“Can't you just say that you were wrong?” She asked softly while playing with his earlobe. Bill opened his eyes and laid a few seconds and just stared. It didn't feel necessary, he had said he was sorry.

“Because you were wrong. You shouldn't have spoken to him.”

Bill turned his head a bit and looked at her with big eyes.

“Can't we just forget about this now?”

“If you say you were wrong. It isn't that hard, Bill. You just say, ‘I was wrong’,” she said and looked at him intensely while removing her hands from his head. Bill made a frustrated sound and smiled unamused.

“Lou…” he gave her a tired look but she just looked at him just as intensely.

“You know it's not that easy…” he said as he massaged his own neck in discomfort. She knew so well what she was doing.

“Just say it, ‘I was wrong’.”

Bill looked around the room. It wasn't really being wrong that was the problem, it was just that he had some sort of image of himself that he was always sensible and Aurora could often make that belief become stronger when she acted so much on her feelings.

“Say it,” she said again but this time with a smirk. She knew it maybe was a bit mean but his belief that he was the sensible of them was irritating.

Bill looked at his wife with big eyes, he kissed her knees then looked up at her again with a pained expression.

“You don't need to be reasonable and right all the time, you know. I love you anyway. Or rather, I love you because of that,” she said and tickled him a little under his chin. Bill took a deep breath.

“I was wrong.”

It was actually not that hard saying it, especially when he saw how big Aurora smiled at it.

He kissed her knees again and she dragged her fingers through his hair.

“Do you know you have a bald spot here?” She said to tease him. Being stupid and bold was probably his worst nightmare.

“Oh shut up, I don't,” he said and looked up at her with a smirk. She giggled and leaned down so she could kiss him through the giggle. He kissed back, deepened the kisses and then looked up at her with his most puppy-like expression.

“Make up sex?”

Aurora looked at him with an amused smirk and stood up. They were close in height when he stood on his knees so even if he became shorter than her he still felt big. She pulled his hand lightly to make him stand up. He looked down at her amused, reminded of their height difference and then lifted her up easily. Aurora smiled brightly and put her legs around his waist.

“I love you…” he whispered while taking her to the bedroom.

×××

To just release a record on your own label wasn't that easy as Bill had wanted it to be and Aurora wondered how she in that moment had got infected by his optimism. She has a record deal. A contract that was renewed every fifth year. There was one year left. First contract between 16 to 21, then the next to 26 and now until she would be 31. It wasn't even a year, it was seven months and that explained why her label was so stressed about releasing a new album. She would be free next year but she needed a plan so they wouldn't force her to do the record they wanted, that would mess everything up because she couldn't stand for it.

She laid on the couch in Sweden, feeling sorry for herself. She also had period cramps that made everything worse. She was whining loudly to get Bill's attention but he didn't seem to hear her.

Bill sat in the kitchen with his trainer on a facetime call and made a schedule for his training until he would start filming in August. He needed to bulk up and his lean muscles needed to be bigger. It wasn't his favorite, especially not after because he had a hard time letting go of the muscles without becoming a bit softer instead.

He had forgiven the trainer for what he had said about Aurora, it was just a stupid mistake but he didn't tell Aurora. He didn't know if he should have but thought it would probably just make her uncomfortable.

Bill heard Aurora whine again and looked towards the living room. First he believed it was Isadora but she was sleeping so it must be his wife making such a sad sound.

“I'm sorry I have to…” he said to the trainer and then turned towards the living room.

“Lou, is it something?” He shouted and heard her say something but didn't hear it all. “Are you in pain?”

He heard her shuffling steps and when she showed up in the door she looked at him with big eyes and a pouty lower lip.

“My pussy hurts…” she whined and dragged her hands over her silky shorts, down over her sex.

Bill cleared his voice and quickly looked down at the laptop screen that stood with its back towards her.

“I need your cock…”

It was universal knowledge sex helps with period cramps but others probably didn't need to hear it like that. Bill felt his cheeks heat while he looked between his wife and his trainer, who tried to hide a smirk.

“Babe… I'm on facetime…”

Aurora's eyes got big.

“Not an interview?” She whispered in panic.

“No, no… Me and Dennis are just making a schedule…” he scratched his jaw and smiled a bit uncomfortable at her. To his surprise she laughed.

“Oh! Okay. Sorry for too much information there, Dennis,” she said with a giggle. “But I've told you my period cramps can be a bitch sometimes,” she said and walked up to Bill and peaked down at Dennis. He could just see her long dark hair hanging down and also how it covered Bill's face.

“Yeah, I know that,” Dennis said with a smile. Bill looked from his wife to the trainer and felt a worry he had had earlier disappear. She was really comfortable with Dennis.

“So babe, help me when you're finished and before Isadora wakes up, please," she said and looked at him behind the computer. She bit her lip and played with her hair seductively. Bill looked at her for a few seconds, feeling a stir in his sweatpants but just nodded so Dennis wouldn't understand what they were doing. When Aurora had tipped away from the kitchen he looked down at Dennis again who again tried to hide a smirk.

“Yeah, yeah I know, I'm a lucky bastard.”

He sighed before they continued to work. It was nice knowing Aurora was so comfortable with their trainer but he also then wondered if Dennis had said something like that to her and if he was the one overreacting. After ending the conversation he searched Aurora up who already sat with a dark towel around her in bed.

Bill smirked a little and pulled off his clothes. He was already hard when he pushed down his boxers and Aurora licked her lips by the sight.

He was a lucky bastard. He really was.

×××

After their shower it was time for Isadora to wake up again. Aurora and her sat on the living room floor while Bill spoke with a friend on the phone. He walked around absentmindedly while talking and laughing loudly, if it wasn't for his friend starting to tell him a long story he would have never heard that Aurora cried in the living room. He paused and pulled the phone away to see if he had heard right, he had but didn't want to stress. She was on her period, the tears could have slipped out for many reasons.

“Sorry, I'll call you back,” he said to his friend and walked to the living room.

Aurora sat with their little daughter against her chest and cried. She kissed her head and then looked up at Bill who stood in the doorway looking at her wondering. Aurora cried through the tears.

“She sat. She sat by herself. Just sat there like a little doll,” she said with a tear drenched giggle.

Bill smiled brightly.

“No? Shit,” he said and sat down on the floor with them. He took Isadora and tried to make her sit again but she whined at once. He wasn't really that surprised, she was always so grumpy if she couldn't decide for herself. Bill laughed at her a little before putting her in his lap against his stomach. He looked up at Aurora amused but saw her tears continue to fall.

“Is it something else, too?” He asked and took her hand. Aurora whipped away the tears and took a deep breath.

“It's the period that makes me all messed up… I just wish my career could be as easy as the home life, you know? We have it so good here… I'm just tired of getting message after message about things I must do… And then the fans that just write "I'm uglier, boring, lazy…”

Bill looked at her with compassion and then pulled her close to him so she could have her cheek against his chest. He didn't say anything, just hugged his girls. He had already said everything he could comfort her with. The only thing he could do to help her now was to try to save her from it all. His wife shouldn't feel like that.

#bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard #fan fiction #writing #story #bill skarsgård writing #bill skarsgård fanfiction #love just happens #lou #fiction

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skylarmoon71 · 10 months ago

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Harry Wells Earth 2 (Flash) -Oneshot

To be honest you should have suspected something was wrong from the beginning.

You worked for a security company. When you were requested for a job, it wasn’t that strange. Your boss however said the company that asked for your assistance wanted you specifically by name. Which was a little weird. You weren’t a terrible employee. But you weren’t great enough for someone to request you by name.

Nevertheless, you took the gig. The pay was pretty good. After finding out it was at Star Labs, it sort of made sense.

The explosion that happened years ago left a lot of people on edge. So of course they would have to raise the price if they wanted anyone even stepping foot in that building. Getting there was easy. While Cisco Ramon was giving you the tour, you kept your eyes open for just about anything.

By the time you made it to the cortex, you waited patiently to figure out why exactly they needed your services. The lab looked pretty high tech already. So security really didn’t seem necessary.

“Thank you for taking the job. I’m Barry Allen. I own Star Labs now. This is Caitlin, and Iris. “ Barry introduced . They all greeted you with smiles. However, there was another man in the room behind the glass that looked like a medical area. His back was to you, a cap on his head. He was pacing back and forth.

“It’s nice to meet you all. I’d like to get right to it.”

Barry suddenly looked a bit unsure. He rubbed the back of his neck. Cisco’s eyes shifted and Caitlin offered a smile.

“Can we get you anything, a glass of water?”

You narrow your eyes.

“I’m alright.”

The man in the other room finally came walking out and he looked annoyed.

“Would you all just stop beating around the bush!” He moved his hat, and you took a step back. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. Even for Central City this was crazy.

“H-Harrison Wells..”

This didn’t make sense. He was supposed to be dead. Better yet, didn’t he confess to murdering Barry Allen’s mother?

“What’s going on!”

This was not what you expected at all. You were ready to hightail it out of there.

“Okay, I know this is going to sound crazy but you’re..well you are..” Barry was fumbling over his words.

“Damn it Allen!” Harrison moves over to you lifting his watch and when the red light begins to blink, you’re weary.

“You’re a meta human.” The information hits you like a ton of bricks.

“T-That’s impossible..”

Barry lets out a sigh.

“We didn’t hire you for your expertise in security. I need you to help me with my speed.” Barry pleads.

“Your speed?”

He nods, and you feel the wind smack you in the face. He’s right in front of you again, this time wearing the red and golden suit that you’ve seen around the city saving lives. This was a lot to process.

From that one action, Barry looked exhausted. He braced his hand on a table and Iris moved to his side.

“I know this seems crazy. It probably doesn’t make sense, but right now you’re the only one who can help me. We’ve tried just about everything. Please.” You shake your head.

“I’m sorry but I can’t help you. I’m not a meta, you have the wrong person.”

They can’t fight the disappointment on their faces. You don’t stick around. You’re practically running out of there.

Learning the truth was a bit painful. But you knew what you had to do.

You need to leave Central City.

Most of your family had already left. After the incident your parents practically pleaded that you go with them, but you declined. You wanted to figure this all out on your own. But now, everything is different.

Being a meta human in this city was a curse.

In the last four hours, you’ve quit your job, texted your landlord about your lease and bought a plane ticket to New York.

It’s possible because of the impromptu plans that you might get stuck at an airport for the night, but you could live with that.

Shoving your clothes into your suitcase, you only pause when you hear the knocking at your door. Your brows furrow as you move over, opening it. The sight of Harrison Wells makes you uneasy.

“How did you even find me?”

“That’s simple, on Earth 55 you come from a family of speedsters. Basically I tracked the address from that universe and made an educated guess.”

You frown. The more he speaks the less you seem to understand.

“What do you want?”

“I was nominated to give you a pep talk.”

“Are you being sarcastic?”

“No, I’m serious.”

You didn’t have time for this. You shut the door in his face. Turning the lock, you head back to packing. At least you try. A portal opens right in front of you, and you want to scream, but you just freeze up. Harry jumps through the portal and it closes right after.

“That was very rude.”

“W-Wha- Get the hell out of my house!!”

“Not until you listen. It’s not just the faith of this city that’s in danger. The world needs the Flash.”

“That has nothing to do with me!”

“It does and you know it.”

You swallow.

“When Allen changed the timeline a few years ago he altered a lot of events. You were one of them. When the accelerator exploded, you were affected, am I right?” Harry’s stare is firmly planted on you.

It’s crazy that he knows that.

You look at your feet.

“I was actually running.” You mumble.

It’s a little unnerving how much knowledge he has on your life. He’s reading you like a book.

“I didn’t even know about that stupid science opening. I heard it. It felt so close. But when the screams started, it could not have been good. Barely made it two feet away when I was hit. I was in a coma. My brother was the one there when I woke up. He looked at me as if I were a ghost. Doctors didn’t think I would ever come back.”

Your situation sounds very similar to what Barry experienced.

“I don’t have powers. I’m normal. I’m telling you I can’t help. “ You sound defeated. Harry can understand why. The feeling that you’re letting someone down. He can relate.

Harry removes his glasses.

“This isn’t easy, it may even seem crazy. But you have the ability to help. Like Allen this wasn't just by chance. Regardless of what he did, it’s no coincidence that in other universes, you’re a speedster. You have a gift, and you can help Barry with it. You can help this city. You just have to be willing to try.”

He hopes that this will help you make the decision that you need to. He’d always felt that time after time he kept making the wrong choices. He wanted to spare you from doing the same thing. He can see the contemplative look on your face. He only hopes he’s gotten through to you. Putting on his glasses, he turns, reopening another one of those portals. Just as he’s about to jump through, you take his wrist. Harry pauses.

“Okay.”

It’s said so softly. He notices how unsure you still look, and he can’t help but smile. It’s obvious that you’re still terribly scared. It makes sense. You release his wrist, and he takes your hand softly in his. It’s a hold of comfort, one that you actually appreciate at that moment. He takes a step, and you follow, both stepping into the portal.

“I’m just saying, maybe Harry wasn’t the best choice. I know we drew straws but he’s the least emotionally in tune out of all of us. “ You can hear Cisco’s voice from around the corner and you send a smile in Harry’s direction.

“I appreciate the vote of confidence Ramon.” Comes Harry’s snarky tone. They all turn when they see you.

“You came back.” Iris says with a smile.

Doubt seems to creep back in, and Harry gives you another comforting squeeze before he lets go. It gives you the bit of confidence you need to face this.

“I would like to help in any way that I can.”

Barry’s smile is wide and they all begin to guide you over to the speed lab.

The Team takes a step back and you stand at the center with Barry, awaiting instructions.

“Our abilities, they come from the speedforce. The last meta I fought did something to disrupt my electrical connection to it. I can’t access it right now. But it’s still there. I still have my speed, I just can’t use it properly.”

“If that’s the case, couldn’t you have called one of those other speedsters. There’s been like three others that I’ve seen on tv.”

“Trust me, we tried. Even ones from other dimensions. Nothing works.” Cisco explains.

“So what makes you think that my speed will help? I-I don’t even know if I really am a speedster. I’ve never been able to use any powers.”

“Your speed hasn’t been accessed at all yet. So it’s the purest out of all of us. Because your meta gene is still new, it contains the electrical patterns I need to jumpstart my own.” Barry hopes that will make it clear, but even when he explains it, it doesn’t make sense. He can tell you’re confused by the look on your face.

So maybe he needs another approach.

“Take my hands.” He holds them out. You’re skeptical, but you take his hands.

“I need you to close your eyes.”

You follow each instruction. Closing your eyes, you exhale softly, doing your best to level your breathing.

“Picture the lightning, running through your veins. Like you’re weightless. That feeling you get when you’re moving and everything just slows down. But your heart, it’s still going, still moving.”

Harry and the others look on. At first nothing happens, there is no change. But his eyes catch a minor spark at your feet. Barry grins when he sees it. Cisco looks very excited.

“Time is just an object that you have control over. You can slow it down, speed it up. You have the power. The speed.”

The specs of lightning are becoming more prominent.

“Is that..” Cisco nods at Caitlin’s question.

“It’s working!!” He’s practically bouncing on his feet. Harry looks proud.

“I knew she could do it.”

Barry is wearing a similar look. He can see the energy surging through your hands, all the way to his.

“Now you’re one with the speedforce. You’re a speedster (Y/N).”

He doesn’t say those words aloud, and your eyes pop open. You gasp at the electricity that is present in Barry’s eyes. As you look around, your bodies are covered by a ball of golden streaks.

“Thank you (Y/N).”

“No problem…” You whisper in awe.

There might be more to life than what you initially thought.

#flash #harrisonwells #ciscoramon #barryallen #iriswest #trust #family #heroes #speedforce #humor #harryxreader #speedsters #metas #harrywells #earth2 #teamflash #care

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lucreziaq2001 · 11 months ago

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•TV show: "Criminal minds".

•Content warnings: Bullying the victim is blamed for and the culprit partially tries to justify, mentions of the fact that someone was humiliated in front of all his friends and his bad boy reputation was kind of ruined, mentions of the fact that a girl apparently made most of her schoolmates uncomfortable and of fights between her and another girl, plus this other girl being referred to as "vicious" by her former boyfriend and a man trying to flirt (in a way) with the daughter of the writer who is questioning him.

•Some of the lines are almost the same that are in a scene of the "Cold case" episode this story is inspired by. I did modify them a bit, though. I didn't just copy and paste them.

•Tags: @lex13cm, @golden1u5t, @avis-writeshq, @chrrysgirl, @hugyourlungs, @achillmango, @marie-sworld, @iluvreid, @babygirl-garcia, @rynwritesreid, @strangermoonlove.

The bridge to Heaven

Chapter 6: Aaron Hotchner

After hearing what Matthew had to say, as the man had predicted, everyone almost immediately agreed to cooperate.

"Good. Then if it's okay with you, I'd like to ask you some questions in another room, one person at a time" David then said, and again, everyone agreed to it.

It took longer that time, maybe because they understood that even though Dave wasn't a policeman and hadn't used the word "interview", they were considered suspects.

In the end, however, they accepted.

Aaron asked to be the first person to be questioned, just as David hoped, so the two men went into the dining room and closed the door, then the interrogation began.

"Aaron Hotchner. Elizabeth Prentiss has told me a lot about you" Dave began.

He wasn't lying.

The day after the one of their brief meeting, Emily's mother had asked one of the nurses at retirement home she lived in to look up David's phone number and had called him, mainly to talk to him about the difficult relationship between her daughter and Aaron Hotchner.

"You had quite the bad boy reputation in high school. Ladies' man, cool car" he added a few seconds later, and Aaron laughed, clearly pleased that Dave knew those things about him too.

"I still have it, actually, it's in my garage. Maybe your middle daughter wants to come take a spin. Her name is Diane, right? I've heard she's single and she and I are almost the same age" he then said, and although David didn't like the fact that Aaron was practically hitting on his daughter, he couldn't help but smile.

"Some people, at least for certain things, never change" he thought, shaking his head, then he decided to continue with the interrogation.

"I'll ask her" he replied "But let's get back to us now. People still remember those crazy races near the pine forest".

"Undefeated. All through high school" Aaron boasted "That car was like a rocket".

"Oh. Actually, I heard a different story" David replied, finally getting to the point "One night, you lost a race and were humiliated in front of all your friends by a girl".

"Who? Emily Prentiss? Oh, she wasn't like other girls" Aaron replied.

Thankfully, he had clearly changed his opinion on Emily over the years.

"You used to bully Emily at school, and after she showed you off, you only hated her more" Dave said, and as a response, at first Aaron just nodded.

"Now I regret what I did, but I also still partly think that if she had just dressed like a woman, no one would have made fun of her" Aaron told him, partly trying to justify the actions of his teenage self.

"You felt threatened by her, didn't you, Aaron?" Dave then asked him, irritated by the man's attempt to blame Emily for his mistakes.

"She made me feel uncomfortable, actually!" Aaron responded "She did it to everyone, even the girls".

"Are you saying Emily had argued with one of them too?" David then asked, not really expecting those words from the man sitting in front of him.

"Oh, yes!" Aaron exclaimed "I think you know how some women are: vicious. And my girlfriend at the time was just like that".

Then he too, just like Elizabeth Prentiss had done over the phone, began to talk about an event he had kept secret for almost fourty years.

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savrenim · 2 years ago

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okay so I’m still not over the post “Quincey John Arthur Abraham Lucy Harker, you were named after the most disfunctional polycule your mother and I ever commited multiple felonies with…” and I know that in the year of our lord 2022 we have Gotten Over talking about hp on main but, like

I think in the wake of Dracula Daily ending one of the things that has stuck with me most was the ending? mostly bc, like.... it Surprised me that wait holy fuck “Quincey John Arthur Abraham Lucy Harker, you were named after---” is actually kind of almost just literally how the book ends. which first of all I didn’t expect because “timeskip [x] years, the two main characters now have a child that they’ve named after their dead comrades” is forever linked with the hp epilogue to me which has only really stuck around in my mind because of the incredibly good analysis I read years ago about, like.... maybe the reason everyone who had liked and related to the books tended to dislike the epilogue was because it felt thoroughly disconnected from the reality that they had related to? and, like, insert smart analysis about generational differences blah blah blah but, like, characters that were supposed to be our age and seeing society falling apart like us but who among us expected to settle down with our high school sweethearts in a solid upper middle class life and solid nine to five job and then have children like nothing had ever happened, living in a house is out of reach for most of us, it just felt so at odds with everything that anyone had even come close to relating to and like it had been tacked on as an afterthought because Clearly This Is What A Happy Ending Is Supposed To Look Like Right?

and I guess Dracula surprised me because to a certain degree the ending is, like, identical with respect to that beat: our main couple of protagonists has settled together married and now have a kid whom they have named in memory of their fallen comrades but moved on with their lives, but here, it fits and it is a fitting and beautiful victory, because, like. it was clear from the beginning with who the characters were and where the story was set that this is in fact a happy ending? but also, “Quincey John Arthur Abraham Lucy Harker, you were named after the most disfunctional polycule your mother and I ever commited multiple felonies with…” hit me like a train because it is so accurate to How The Book Ended but also felt fucking WILD after years of reblogging memes of that format to, like. actually see a book ending where no this is a Legitimately Good Ending To The Book and not an Ironically Funny Thing To Do

#dracula daily #feels so weird to be done with the book #good times y'all I've appreciated our book club

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 10 months ago

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youtube

What Representing Men in Divorce Taught Me About Fatherhood | Marilyn York

I'm six years old, and all I can think about is getting the pink Barbie Corvette! I need five more dollars. Luckily for me, it's Easter, and I know that my dad always hides one coveted five-dollar egg. I also know the best egg is the hardest to find.

This year, I'm ready! Before long, I spot it, right in the middle of my sweet '70s swing set pole! You know, the one that runs along the entire top of the set. I scramble to get the ladder and the yardstick and duct tape it to a broom handle.

I fish it into the pipe, and I shove at it hard. It flies out the other side, and by the time it hits the ground, I'm waiting above it like an expectant father.

The egg cracks open and inside … is the very opposite of my grand prize. Instead, a perfectly formed dog turd rolls out.

I burst into loud hysterics. At the same time, my father explodes with laughter. I run as fast as I can to my room, but he's not far behind.

It's time for one of his talks. "Honey, it was clear that you already learned the important life lesson: the harder you work, the better the payoff. So, it was time that you learned another valuable lesson: sometimes, no matter how hard you work, you just end up with shit!"

And who better to teach just this sort of hard-hitting, direct, and painful life lesson to six-year-old me than my father?

I'm a divorce attorney. I've been practicing for over 20 years. I began in Los Angeles, but I've owned my firm in Nevada since 2001. My firm has a particular sub-specialty: men's rights. My nine female employees and I specifically represent men in divorce and custody battles.

And guess who runs the business end of my law firm? My father.

In my practice, we've represented over 2,000 men, 650 of whom are fathers.

My expertise not only comes from my career but just as much from my personal life. I'm a mother. My children are 23, 15, 12, and barely 3. They come from two different mothers and three different fathers. Hooker!

Let me explain. I helped my ex-husband raise our 23-year-old son, whom I didn't birth, from age 5. I share custody of my 15-year-old daughter with the same father. My 12-year-old son sadly lost his father to suicide when he was just 7. And my 3-year-old is being raised at home with his father and me. I literally live my work every day!

So, what has 20 years of representing men in family law while living my own reality show as a wife, mother, and daughter taught me about fatherhood?

Allow me, if you will, to start with the second thing I learned about fatherhood: men parent differently than women. Big surprise! But their influence is crucial in the development of their children. Do you know any mom in the world who would put dog shit in an Easter egg?

Okay, maybe that's a good thing. Let me better demonstrate this point from my legal experience.

When getting my father clients ready for court, I prepare them for this kind of interrogation:

"Who's your children's doctor or dentist?"

"What's the name of your school principal or even their teacher?"

"What grades did they get on their last report card?"

Nine times out of ten, they miss the majority of these questions. Seriously. Does this mean they don't care or love their children as much? I bet it makes you wonder.

But please, hold your judgement. Here are the questions that my father clients can easily answer:

"If your son could be a superhero, what would his power be?"

"What kind of monsters do your kids fear?"

"How high does your daughter feel comfortable flying in a swing?"

"What makes your son feel defeated?"

Yet, in my experience cross-examining hundreds of mothers in family court, these are the harder questions for them.

Most of us know, motherhood brings with it a sixth sense and an unspoken bond to our children. But what about fathers? Even fathers feel insecure about this reality. After representing 650 fathers, I can count on one hand those that felt secure in their instinctive role and significance to their children.

What's interesting is my anecdotal legal experience suggests otherwise. In 20 years of practice, I've had over 100 men take a paternity test - like Jerry Springer. Seriously. Do you know how many were wrong in predicting their biological relation to the child? Two.

This shocked me and taught me my third lesson: fathers, too, have a genetic bond and instinct about their children from infancy.

Forget where you are for a moment, seriously, and close your eyes. I'd like to ask you to feel. Think about your childhood. Picture your father, his smiling eyes, his strong hands. Hear his deep voice. What did you love about your dad? Did he throw you high into the air? Teach you to ride a bike? Carry you home when you got hurt? Push you when you tried to give up? What did it feel like to have a daddy? Secure? Fun? Challenging?

Now, go back in your memories and erase your father from every scene. This is what the other 40 percent of people's childhoods look like.

Just under half the people listening to me, including my own 12-year-old son, felt sad, angry, or blank during the peak of your joy, while playing along. Eye-opening, isn't it?

Nearly two of every five children in America are growing up without their fathers, or 17 million, according to the 2016 census. Other sources estimate as many as 30 million.

In 2011, I joined the board for a local charity called Nevada Youth Empowerment Project, or NYEP. NYEP is a housing program for homeless girls ages 18 to 24. As board president of this small charity, I've been closely involved and gotten to know the girls and their tragic stories over the years. Hundreds of otherwise homeless girls have come to our program. Their backgrounds and what they have endured would haunt you.

Do you know the one thing all of these girls have in common? They all come from fatherless homes. Sadly, these girls aren't the exception; they're the rule.

My fourth lesson about fatherhood came from the data. According to the Center for Disease Control, children from fatherless homes account for 90 percent of all homeless and runaway kids, 71 percent of high school dropouts, and 63 percent of youth suicides.

While you listen to me speak, you have to be wondering, "What makes fathers so crucial?" Honestly, the answer is complex and better explored by psychologists. What I can tell you is that the data unequivocally tells us fathers are vital and yet laws and society undervalue their importance, making it harder for them to be in their children's lives. Even fathers underrate their own value.

I know this data upsets a lot of mothers, me included. But advocating for fathers isn't about diminishing mothers.

While children deserve both parents whenever possible, this crisis is specific to fathers. The occurrence of fatherlessness is epidemic, the effects are catastrophic, and the causes are male gender specific.

Nearly 30 years ago, leading child psychologist Michael Lamb reminded us: "Fathers are the forgotten contributors to child development." Yet, researchers have found that children with involved fathers have stronger cognitive and motor skills, elevated physical and mental health, become better problem solvers, and are more confident, curious, and empathetic.

Sadly, we've had this data for 30 years, and fatherlessness has only continued to rise during this time.

The main contributors to fatherlessness are divorce and out-of-wedlock births. Every 13 seconds, someone in America gets divorced. That equates to almost 2.5 million divorces a year. Lucky me!

Currently, more than 40 percent, or 1.5 million babies, are born out of wedlock each year in the US.

And this brings me back to the first and most significant thing that my career has taught me about fatherhood: family court is one of the critical places where fathers are disadvantaged, and this hurts kids.

Historically, this maternal preference was solidified in the tender years doctrine, which mandated custody of children under age four be awarded to mothers. This doctrine was in use until the 80's.

As the laws progressed, visitation for fathers improved, but it took a lot of years before the law was finally gender equal. In fact, it wasn't until 2017 that Nevada finally adopted a presumption for joint physical custody.

When I began my practice, and until 10 years ago, the best my father clients could expect was every-other-weekend visitation and maybe a dinner on the off week. While significant legal progress has been made, this long-standing bias against fathers still occurs in the enforcement of custody orders, in child support rulings, and it exists in paternity laws.

All the while, the number of kids growing up without dads continues to rise. Between 1960 and 2016, the percentage of children growing up with just mothers nearly tripled, from 8 to 23 percent.

Paternity laws desperately need more reform to protect the 40 percent of children born out of wedlock each year in the US.

Right now, once custody has been ordered, it's illegal to remove a child from their father - usually a felony. But it's perfectly legal, in all 50 states, for a woman to conceal her pregnancy, leave the father's name off the birth certificate, and never tell him he has a child, ever! How is this not kidnapping?

Just as horrible, a woman can knowingly list the wrong father in a child's birth certificate, deceive him, and a short while later, in many states, the wrong man becomes that child's legal father forever. He's obligated to a child that isn't his. And that child just lost their real father with little to no recourse. This is a betrayal of the worst kind. And the law not only allows it, it creates the opportunity.

This is what we know. Every bit of data we have tells us children need their fathers! The law, its application, and society at large disfavor fathers. The law is improving, but the statistics are not.

So, what can you do? We are the change makers, all of us.

If you're a father, make the effort, do everything you can to be in your children's daily lives.

If you're a mother, encourage and facilitate the relationship between your children and their father instead of trying to interfere or control it.

If you're a child, spend time with your dad, ask him to do something, seek his advice and guidance.

If you're an employer, grant the fathers you employ the ability to be at their children's events, to help in their schools, to take sick days to care for their kids.

If you work in the legal field, help us continue to progress, change the laws, and ensure that they're enforced to protect fathers and their children.

The importance of this pursuit cannot be overstated. The fate of nearly half of America's children depends on it.

I'd like to close by asking all of you to do one final thing. Please, stand if you are able or raise your hand - I'm serious, please - if you grew up without a father, if you raised or are raising a child without a father, or if you are a father who's been separated from your child.

Now, look around: the people really affected by fatherlessness. Really, look. Those of you standing and raising your hands aren't numbers. You're real living and feeling humans. You're the children scarred by fatherlessness.

Now let me tell you who can't stand.

The 1,000 fatherless children who were murdered last year.

The 3,000 fatherless children who died from drugs.

The 3,200 fatherless children who committed suicide last year.

And the 14,000 fatherless children who were incarcerated.

Everyone, please, stand for them! And do everything you can to help the remaining 17 million fatherless children avoid these fates.

Thank you.

The statistics on fatherlessness and the impact on development and society as a whole are remarkable. And we've known about them for decades.

https://www.baltimoresun.com/opinion/bs-xpm-2014-10-08-bs-ed-child-custody-20141008-story.html

The negative impact on our children is dramatic. For instance, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the U.S. Department of Justice and the U.S. Census Bureau, children raised by single parents account for: • 63 percent of teen suicides, • 70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions, • 71 percent of high school dropouts, • 75 percent of children in chemical abuse centers, • 85 percent of those in prison, • 85 percent of children who exhibit behavioral disorders • And 90 percent of homeless and runaway children.

If you worked on just fatherlessness, you'd do more good for kids - including and especially black kids - than any bogus woke "systemic racism" campaigns.

[ Source: Pew Research ]

Of course, activists don't want to do anything, both because it undermines their grand oppression narrative by admitting that there are other problems, and because it means the problem could actually recede and make their activism and ideology obsolete.

You might wonder who would be against shared parenting by default. NOW, the National Organization for Women, has spent decades fighting shared parenting bills.

"[Presumptive joint custody] creates an unparalleled opportunity for belligerent former spouses to carry on their personal agendas or vendettas through the children -- and with the blessing of the courts." -- NOW Executive Vice President Kim Gandy.

That is, fathers only want custody of their children to harass and control their ex. According to the experience of an activist.

#Marilyn York #fatherlessness #fatherhood #fatherless #divorce #father's rights #parenthood #social issues #social problems #equal parenting #religion is a mental illness

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solarrene · 2 years ago

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Home Again

Jason Todd x Plus Size reader

Fluff!!!

Chapter Five

Little things with the family, another realization, and family dinner.

Life at Best as We Know It

"I honestly feel like I've stepped into a movie." Y/N said as she walks in the library, along with Stephanie and Cassandra.

"Eh, I'm sure it's nothing too different from the places back there in your home." Stephanie shrugs, sitting herself on a couch.

After their lunch was done, though it was only her, Stephanie, Cassndra, Damian and Alfred, as the others were off to their on agendas—Stephanie asked Y/N for them to explore the manor and of course, Y/N agreed.

Y/N laughs. "Well honey, I've never been in a manor before, so it's still impressive." Her eyes roaming the spacious room, entranced by the beauty of it; tall shelves filled with books that she sure knows she could only hope to have. Wide, tall windows that shows the garden, sunlight illuminating the room, still the golden lights were on, making the brown colors shine out more. "Wow," she huffs, grinning, "I could never be bored here." Y/N said as she walks to the shelves, her hand trailing the books.

"And you have all the time in the world but let's go!" Stephanie jumped off the couch, dragging Cassandra with her and Y/N only laughed, seeing Cassandra was disappointed from being ruined of her comfort in her chair.

And so there they were, here and there. From the game room, Y/N didn't expect less when she saw the place, as grand as the library in her eye. They, of course, played. With Y/N attempting to try the billiard and failed miserably, which resulted to a lot of laughing fit, though Cassandra and Stephanie wasn't so good at it, they managed. At least the hockey was much more bearable for them, their loud voices echoing around the room.

To Y/N's demise, she lost to the both of them, the two ended up high fiving each other with wide smiles on their faces then proceeded to beat each other. Let's just say it took more time than they were supposed to. Much later on they finished their game and headed off again.

"I shall challenge you both to a rematch sometime," Y/N announced as the three of them walked through the hallway. Stephanie laughed and Cassandra smiled.

"Yeah, so we could beat you again," Stephanie smugly said.

"Do not be so smug now, my dear." Y/N laughed.

"She did put up a fair fight." Cassandra spoke. Y/N turned to Stephanie and made a gesture, saying 'see?' Stephanie only chuckled and let her be.

They arrived outside where the pool was, the place surrounded by a few tables with umbrellas under it. The water reflecting a bright blue color as the sun was still in its prime. "This is one hell of a place to live in." Y/N said.

"You could say that," replied Stephanie.

Y/N walked to the edge of the pool and crouched down, dipping her hand in the water. Her mind aimlessly flying off to some place. It still felt surreal to her, everything for that matter. Her mother and now her staying with these people. Y/N scoffed though in a laughing manner, "...I've only read about your family once a few times, and that's always unintentionally....I never expected to see you people, much less stay in your home."

"We never expect some things to be the way they are, anyway." Stephanie said softly, not wanting to hit off any string that can hurt.

"I suppose you're right," uttered Y/N, her hand still swaying in the water. Only the sound of trees dancing with the wind and the water waving gently was heard, it was like that for a minute or two; Stephanie and Cassandra stood behind her, hesitating, until Cassandra looked to Stephanie and nodded to her.

Cassandra crouched down beside her and patted her other hand that laid on the ground. She said nothing but smiled reassuringly when Y/N looked at her. Y/N's look of uncertainty was replaced with awe and smiled back—squeezing her hand gently.

"If it's okay.... could you bake your pastries again?" Cassandra asked, her soft tone melting Y/N.

"Yes! and we could help!" Stephanie spoke a bit loudly, clapping her hands once. Y/N almost cringed, remembering Alfred's words and pursed her lips to not laugh. Stephanie didn't miss this as the two stood up. "Hey, we'll really just help and swear we won't burn down the kitchen." She assured.

"Alright, if you say so," Y/N teased her. As they were headed to the kitchen, Damian was just walking down the stairs and they stopped once they saw each other.

"Hi there, we didn't interrupt you, I hope? I think we may have gone too loud in the game room earlier." Y/N spoke.

Damian shook his head, "You didn't, and it wouldn't be the first time if it did happen," Stephanie snickered, already walking off to the kitchen, "We'll help Y/N bake, join if you want." She trailed.

"That wouldn't be the best idea." Damian said clearly, looking at Y/N and she laughed. "Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing will happen that can kill Alfred." She waited for him and he followed despite his objections.

"I can assure you nothing can't surprise Alfred anymore." He said as they went in the kitchen.

"Oh, I can assure you, Master Damian, that a lot of things can still surprise me." Alfred made himself known by walking in the other door of the room. Damian looked down sheepishly as well Cassandra and Stephanie who smiled, feeling caught.

"Do not let them get too comfortable here or else we'll regret it." Alfred warned and Y/N laughed loudly, before covering her mouth. "I won't, Al," she assured as he went out.

Y/N sighed, shaking her head, "What could have possibly went too south for him to be so against of some of you being here?"

"....Everything?" Stephanie retorted.

"I see, well it's never too late to learn a few things." Y/N starts to get a few equipments out of the cabinets, "So, what do you want to have?" she asked.

"I love Alfred's scones and yours, by the way and his cookies, but should we have something new?" Stephanie asked Damian and Cassandra.

"Madeleines?" said Cassandra.

Damian only shrugged reluctantly, "Victoria cake?.... Or so I've heard."

They started to work, with them helping Y/N prepare the tools and ingredients together in one place. With Y/N making them familiar with each equipment or tools and the ingredients, so as to prevent them from repeating the happenings they done in the past that continues to scare Alfred to this day.

"Yes, fold it like that, keep it up-No! Not that fast, Damian," Y/N's worried voice made Damian halt with his movement, now aware that the batter could have possibly made a mess if he continued it.

"Oh," uttered Damian, frowning. "Becareful with those knives, you two," Y/N said to Cassandra and Stephanie, who were cutting strawberries, they might have been much too into it as they were almost like playing with the knives they held. Y/N walks to Damian and asked to have the spatula and the bowl he held. "You just fold it gently and not over do it," she said, with him watching intently, "Here, you try." She gave it to him and nodded for him to go on.

He took it hesitantly and did what he just saw, "There, you're getting it." Y/N smiled at him. Damian looked down and let his lips curved.

"See, we're not so bad at this." Stephanie remarked.

"Darling, the way you're both holding the knife is scaring me." Their skills from their hidden identities showing, Stephanie chuckled a small 'hehe', "Sorry." Y/N only shook her head.

Bickering here and there, Y/N's worried voice and her instructions, they managed or she rather, managed to manage the three to help them learn and actually do some work.

"Thirty minutes for the madeleines and twenty for victoria." Y/N announced as they put in the batters in the oven, she dusted her hands off before laying it on her waist, eyeing the counter and sink with their used tools and everything.

"Now, let's clean this while it bakes," she added. Y/N began to wash the dishes, while Stephanie helped her, Cassandra drying it off and Damian putting them back in their places.

"I...." Stephanie hesitated, Y/N looks at her and she sees the said girl with unsure eyes, she smiled softly and waited for her. "You're....doing good, I hope..or at least all of us."

"I am," Y/N uttered, nodding, "It's not easy, loss is never easy anyway and never will, no? But it helps when you're never alone too." Said her.

From being together, with the storms they've gone through the years, with everything...they have learned that; no one has through go something alone, they never need to be alone. Alfred just reminded them of that sentiment and now here they were again.

"I...me staying here is a lot, honestly, for you guys, I mean...and with my situation... it's easy for me because of you, your genuineness. I can't be more thankful enough..." Y/N turned off the faucet and laid her hands on the sink, releasing a shaky breath. "But I apologize as well...if this whole thing makes you uneasy, it's only understandable after all."

Stephanie dried off her hands as they were done, "We're just glad to help."

"It's...it's not easy for anyone here...and that's okay." Cassandra says.

"And it has been said, no one needs to be alone." Damian declared.

Y/N had to prevent herself from crying at their act of kindness again, pursing her lips to stop her mouth from quivering as she can feel it all again. "Yes, yes...thank you, again," she mumbled quietly, drying her hands.

It's so easy to feel so small when you feel those big emotions, how they know too much of the feeling. Familiarity is what they could agree on.

Not much later on, the baking was done and they proceeded to finish making their desserts. As Cassandra and Y/N were making the filling for the victoria cake, with Y/N still teaching them step by step.

"Stephanie, please get the powdered sugar," asked Y/N as she continued to assist Cassandra.

When Stephanie held the bag of it, she raised her eyebrows and smirked. But Y/N saw this, "Stephanie...no!" She yelled but it was late as the troublemaker already threw a fistful of it to Damian.

"You dare!" shouted Damian and slammed the spatula he was holding—his upper body covered with white powder. Rationality left his body as he saw the flour still on the counter and went for it.

"No-" Suddenly, Stephanie's face was covered with flour, she blew out a breath and it puffed out like smoke. "Oh, it's on." She threatened.

"Guys," Y/N started again but she noticed Cassandra gathering whipped cream for the filling in the spatula she was holding and she halted as she saw Y/N looking at her. Y/N narrowed her eyes, "Don't even." She gritted her voice.

Cassandra only smiled and flicked the spatula to Damian without any effort to make her target perfect, still it hit him. To his relief, just on his chest. "Ha!" Stephanie yelled and ran over to Cassandra and high fived together.

"I will end you both." Damian managed to sound menacing despite looking silly, Y/N couldn't help but blurt out a laugh.

They turned to her and her smile fell as did her heart.

"You wouldn't." She dared tightly, and she knew she was dead while they all gathered something in their hand. They all had the same sinister smirk and gazes changed. "Alfred will kill you."

"Not if we force to make you join, he won't." Damian taunted.

"Don't-"

She was cut off with her own scream as Stephanie took the first hit with her powdered sugar, Damian with flour and Cassandra with the whipped cream. "Oh, now you've done it." She wiped off the powder that was on her face and dared for something more as she took an egg—their smug faces fell.

"That's not fair," Damian said.

"Darling, three against one is not fair." Y/N stated while making her stance.

Before she could throw it, "Is everything okay—woah!" Dick walked in the kitchen with Duke and Tim following. Y/N suddenly collected herself but threw a sharp gaze to the three.

"Oh, Alfred is gonna love this." Duke said as they see the state of the room and the four as well.

"You guys are so dead." Tim laughed.

"Shut it." Damian eyed his brother as he took a towel to clean himself, the three doing the same.

"If Alfred sees this then, yes, we're dead. " Y/N said, hurriedly fixing herself and went to fix a few things they've made mess of. "Cassandra, come now and let's finish this. You two start as well with the glaze." Y/N demanded with a demeaning tone but still gentle. They followed with no complaints despite them still sticky and a mess from their doings.

The three watched with amusement, surprised as well to see them working rather well. "What can we help with?" Dick asked and Y/N smiled, "You're a saint-" they all snickered, Y/N ignored it, "Well, there's still some of the mess they made, so that. Thank you"

They began to clean the remaining mess but Y/N sees the same look again as Tim held the bag of flour. "Don't you dare." Tim's mischievous gaze vanished immediately when he sees the warning stare of her, almost similar to Alfred's. "I wasn't going to," replied Tim, while Duke only raised his eyebrows at him.

Y/N sighed, "Now I see why Alfred is so keen on keeping you away from the kitchen."

"Yeah and now that you've taught them a few, it looks like they won't be staying away from it too soon." Dick chuckled, pertaining to Damian and Stephanie specifically who were focused on glazing the madeleines.

Y/N hummed, "I don't know if I should be glad or get more worried."

"I think we should all be worried." Duke says, laughing warily.

Oh, this will be a feast for their eyes.

------------------

To Alfred's relief, the kitchen was how it was supposed to be, though he had no doubts they did what they thought he didn't know.

"I expect better from you children if you think I don't know what you did." Alfred says as he walks in the kitchen, while they were devouring their foods.

"I warned them," said Y/N, not denying any claim to what ever Alfred may be referring to. The three rascals from earlier all narrowed their eyes at her, the other three just laughed.

"She was gonna join too, if you must know." Damian

"But I didn't, thanks to your brothers by the way." Y/N smiled teasingly at Damian and nodded to the three men. Damian scoffed and crossed his arms on his chest.

Alfred only sighed, his dire aura changing to his normal state, "Well, at least nothing is damaged this time, I suppose." He said and all except Y/N muttered an agreement and with her confused face.

"I finally know how to bake, Al." Stephanie said enthusiastically as she held up a plate of the madeleines. "Well, at least I know a few," continued her.

Cassandra did the same, pointing to her plate. "Yes, it would appear so. That's something to be watch closely so as for us to not regret it." Alfred retorted and Y/N laughed loudly, throwing her head back. Stephanie eyed the both of them while Damian rolled his eyes and Cassandra just shrugged.

"How I've missed your wits, Alfred." Y/N expressed, shaking her head.

Alfred smiled and nodded. "Well, you should clean yourselves up properly now," he started. "And if you make a mess of my kitchen again, I will never let you step foot here ever again." He warned, emitting authority well that even the other innocent three men agreed to his order. Y/N snorted, amused.

They parted ways then. Y/N took her time in the shower and decided to explore outside of the manor. As she went a bit further, her eyes furrowed when she sees a barn.

"...Huh?" she said out loud, confused and started to smile, "A barn...I shouldn't be surprised."

She walked towards to it, hearing noises the closer she got, knocking on the small door, "Hello?" she asked as she opened it. And there she sees Damian, out of his dirty clothes as well, feeding their cow.

"Y/N, hello." Damian greets her casually and Y/N huffed, chuckling.

"And a cow, of course," she says, at least to herself. She goes to him, cooing when Damian held another batch grains to give it to the cow. "She's adorable, what do you call her?" She approached them, gently patting its head.

"...Bat-cow," Y/N grinned, confused. "Bat, huh? Like Batman?"

Damian blinked, "Yes, I...uh, I like Batman, I guess," he muttered.

"Cute," she said. "Are there anymore animals here I could meet?" joked her.

"I do have a cat, his name is Alfred." Damian said, a smile cracking. "Bat-cow and Alfred......hmm, not bad." Y/N giggled. Damian walked off from their place, intending to look for his cat and he found him. "Here he is," he says, cradling Alfred in his arms.

"He's pretty," said Y/N, though didn't pet it as she was scared to.

"Alfred gave him to me." Smiling when he laid the cat back down on the ground.

"Ah, make sense." She nodded. Damian walked back to the cow, with Y/N following, he pets her again, "I'll be back later for your dinner." They walked together out of the barn, Alfred the cat following beside them.

"Thank you for teaching us a few in baking, by the way, I had a good time." Damian said.

"I had fun too and I'm glad you did. I could teach you again sometime,"

Damian stopped walking, she turns to him and stopped as well—they were in the middle of the grass plains. She looks at the child concerned, "Is something wrong?"

"I..." he hesitates, his gaze down, "I still don't get how when someone you love dies, you're like....that...and the people at the reception." He lets out the thoughts that's been going on in his head once a few times the past days.

Y/N smiled gently at the child before sitting down on the grass and patted the spot beside her, Damian followed and took Alfred in his arms. "I honestly have thought the same thing once, even thought that I wasn't grieving enough but It's as I said, death never hits anyone the same, nor we grieve in the same way....I think what matters most when we grieve is that we try to be....kind still, or at least that's what I've been holding onto anyway."

"I see..." Damian said mindlessly, looking far ahead, "I wouldn't know what to do if I lose someone I care about." In him, at least part of him, knows what he'd do but he wasn't always so sure about it, because of the promise to his father and to himself.

"Well...whatever happens then, at least it has been said we're never supposed to go through things alone." He looks at her quite surprised and she just smiled. "That's true," whispered him.

"Your mother..." Y/N says questioningly, she hopes to not regret she spoke that.

"She is well," he confirmed, nodding and Y/N uttered in relief. "We see each other from time to time." He was smiling while petting his cat.

"Do you miss her?"

He took a beat before replying, "Everyday."

"Do you?" He asked.

She smiled, "Everyday."

He lied down on the grass, the sky was bright. "Are you happy?"

She did the same, "I am, are you?"

"I am."

---------------------

Y/N heads back to the kitchen just after she and Damian finished their short time together. There at last, she saw Jason inside—though she yelped, still getting surprised. She grips the side of the door, laughing. "Again, huh?" She says.

"Again," Jason repeated, huffing out a smirk before taking a bite off his madeleine. He couldn't help but feel glad that she found him this time. That feeling lingered but he again, tried to cut it off.

Y/N shakes her head, walking to the fridge to get a glass of water. She sighed before speaking, "Thank you for yesterday again."

"All I said were a few words," he replied, creasing his eyebrows. He should have worded it better, he thinks.

Chuckling once she finished her drink, "That would be true....but we should never underestimate how heavy a sincere words can be, even if it's only a few." Says her as she leaned her waist on the counter with him across from her.

Jason nodded slowly, agreeing. "I'll be keeping that in mind, " his mind flowing back to the times his people spoke words to him, confrontations, reassurances, everything in between those—that much he knows true.

He breathes out a chuckle, "Now, I heard you caused a ruckus earlier," he says.

"It was them," she corrected

"And you taught them as well?" He laughed, though lightly. It was a sound she could get used to.

"Well, I said it's never too late to learn."

"I'm sure you did." Y/N laughed at this.

"Give them a little credit, Damian and Stephanie did the most of those madeleines you're eating and it's very good, is it not?" She raises her eyebrows at him, a smile threatening to curve.

"Only because you taught them."

"Darling, that's the point of teaching." Jason's lips quirked, amused. She didn't expect the little fluttering in her when she said the pet name that she usually says often.

"You taught that little brat to bake, I'll give you credit," he says as he finished eating.

"I shall be honored then." Y/N bowed her head, giggling.

"You're not welcome." He bluntly said. Y/N laughed in mock disbelief, laying a hand on her chest.

"You wound me," she gasped. He smiles this time as he was obliged by the glint of delight in her eyes which he caught earlier. She pursed her lips, though her face was covered in amusement as much as him—she faltered as she felt her heart flutter again, seeing his smile as he looks at her. Pretty. She could have bit her tongue.

"My pleasure." Jason tipped his head, smile still etched to his face.

She rolled her eyes at him, before she stands up straight, crossing her arms on her chest, ignoring the sudden heavy beats of her heart. "I suppose you'll take another of those on the way?" She asked, gesturing to the plates of the pastries they made.

"I won't be hearing the end of it if they see me, so no."

"Ah, of course," Y/N chuckles, "Too bad for you then," she continued teasingly as she began to walk to the door. Certainty and the opposite of it was brewing in her, what she was sure of was that she needed air, and away from him. Jason only laughed freely, she got a glimpse of his smile again, the sound of his laugh ringing clear to her ears even when she's now a bit far away from the room.

She closed her eyes, shaking her head as she continues to feel the thumping of her heart, "It's nothing," she mumbled to herself and gripped her chest.

You can't possibly be serious right now.

In end of the stairs she finds herself, with hands now on her waist, she released the tension she didn't realized she was holding, "Nothing," she said clearly this time.

----------------------

Family dinner in the Wayne manor sometimes mean,the family, and tonight is one of those. The dining room bright as it can be, with the candles on the table, the foods, and their lively voices.

Though Y/N was uneasy when Alfred told her about it while they were preparing for dinner, she was rather enthralled still to meet more of their members. Now being in the middle of it, she waswiththem.

But of course, they knew to be careful so as to not let any hidden truths be known to someone different from them. Or Bruce just told them.

"They're not being a pain to you, aren't they?" Kate asked Y/N, referring to the kids, at least in her eyes. To which a few of them responded with protests. Bruce and Alfred only smiled.

Y/N laughs, shaking her head, "They've been treating me in a way more than I could ever be thankful for." Then says her softly that caught them off guard.

"Sounds unlike them." Luke retorted, breaking off their gazes that was laced with serenity to glaring at the said man, at least the kids again.

"You'll boost their ego." Harper followed.

"I don't see how much more of their ego can be boosted." Y/N replied, proudly grinning.

"I don't know, she's saying the truth." Barbara smirked, shrugging.

Amidst the laughter and complains that roared, Y/N finds her eyes to be at Jason's, with a smile almost showing—and then he caught her gaze that made her breath hitched.

He smiled at her while raising his eyebrows to which Y/N just brushed off with a small laugh, now looking down. "Ah, shit," whispered her.

So much for nothing

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💌🖋️: jason todd, let me hit just once 🙏🏼

#jason todd #red hood #jason todd x plus size reader #chubby reader #jason todd x reader #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #alfred pennyworth shooter #Damian wayne i care you #Still dont know what this is #my bat shenanigans 🦇#home again 💌🦇

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adulting-from-scratch · 10 months ago

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Independence terrifies me.

I went from being coddled to having to think about everything.

The idea of being an adult is scary.

So last year, I was living at the place that I'd called home. It wasn't just home. When I was younger it was a sanctuary, a place that was safer than home.

I'd lived there full-time since my second semester of my freshman year in high school.

I didn't have any prospects, which I'm ashamed to admit. I got up, ate, went on my phone, and went back to my room. Sometimes played video games. I'd stopped reading, despite specific books and comics previously being some of my greatest loves.

I'd been out of therapy for three years, I'd just barely started seeing a psychiatrist again. And the day that I called and had an over the phone consultation with a DBT therapist, my house burned down.

I'd tried working two jobs in the past, gotten fired from both. One was a little under a month.

I kept saying, "I'll look, I'll apply."

Or, "I'll look at going back to school."

I did...on occasion. Not as often as I said I did, nowhere near as often as I said I would.

I was severely depressed. I didn't shower or brush my teeth as much as I should have, the latter led to my needing my top four front teeth crowned, courtesy of my grandparents.

Last week, I was supposed to walk down to catch the bus. I live in a semi-rural area, and it

A few weeks ago, I broke down crying in therapy as I voiced aloud the rude awakening that had hit me.

"All this shit I have to figure out and think about and they all cost money!"

This was after my grandfather told me at some point he'd expect me to pay for my therapy. He didn't say when, just at some point.

To me, this was a looming threat. I've made so much progress since being back in therapy, and that's with it being paid for and getting a ride there. That progress looks like not having outbursts, doing laundry, signing back up for school. Not exactly impressive. But worth acknowledging.

It took me time to work up the courage to make a psychiatrist appointment last week, due to being off my meds for a few months. Everything takes conscious effort.

The first time I had to seriously think about money. I'm not struggling right now, I'm living with my mother. But I don't know what the future holds.

In my mind I'm just one or two more failures away from winding up dying on the street. Or being a leech on my family for the rest of my life.

One is dramatic, both are pathetic. And a bit delusional. Plenty of people are educated and harder working than me and still wind up out there.

I'm back in school, taking two classes, not working, because I doubt I'd be able to handle more than that.

I'm still trying to figure out a study program. I

Today, half of me wishes so badly to go back to living there. Having all my needs met, binging whenever I want. Not having to think about much.

But I not only wasn't productive, I wasn't really happy. I was filling the void.

I didn't want to end my life, I just didn't have a life.

But it was easier to say I'd become an adult later.

My grandmother still saw me as her kid, so it was okay, right? But she's not here to enable me.

I was comfortable. But not okay.

Do I want sympathy? Maybe. But in comparison to so many other people, I'm not sure my struggles are worth complaining about.

Life is hard as fuck, and it feels like it's only going to get harder, but I've been far too sheltered, and it hasn't done me many favors.

Independence terrifies me because I'd prefer to have someone else tell me what I have to do.

I feel like I need a lot of handholding.

But the only hand to hold is my own.

That's not quite true, I have my basic needs met. I have hands to hold, family and friends. I just don't have someone constantly hugging me.

But that's what I'm used to. So the adjustment is rough, to say the least.

It's such a stark difference, and my mind is already a bit different, that I have to remind myself feeling and fact are different.

#adulting #living with mental illness #mental health #neurodivergence #depression #bpd #anxiety #functioning with mental illness

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sweetbillwriting · 1 year ago

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Love Just Happens

A New Chapter - Part 13

Characters: The future's Bill Skarsgård and others close to him. The rest is my own characters.

Warnings: 18+, age difference, mentions of sex, sexism, homophobia, family problems, talk about looks and plastic surgery.

Maybe if Aurora had screamed a few seconds later, or rather a minute Bill would have believed it was he who had succeeded in making her scream. The scream was also a bit too high pitched to come from pleasure so he looked up at her bewildered. Aurora sat up and covered herself against Bill's chest.

"There’s someone there! There’s someone there!" She screamed in panic. Bill looked out over the open living room space with furrowed brows. He couldn't see anyone but then he heard someone instead. Someone had succeeded to bump into the spirits trolley so it rattled the bottles. It was probably adrenaline, anger and the need to protect his family that made Bill move quickly and run after the sounds of the person, he even did a flexible jump over the couch. He saw the back of the person running towards the hallway. It looked like a skinny man, quite shorter than himself. He succeeded in catching the man from the neckline of his sweater and pushed him into the wall with a firm grip on the front of the Ralph Lauren sweater. Bill was prepared to threaten the guy, maybe even take to more violence but then he saw who it was.

"Algot??" He said confused but didn't let him go.

"Please don't hit me!"

Algot sounded panicked and his eyes were shiny. Bill was much larger than him but also had a face that could look demonic.

Bill sighed and put him down.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He asked harshly but then heard his baby daughter cry. He looked towards the sound and saw his middle daughter hold the baby with one arm while she tried to take out the stroller from the closet under the stairs. It didn't look safe at all. Bill was on his way to save the baby from falling on the floor but Aurora was there before him and took her child softly but determinedly. It was obvious she was angry and still in panic. She had on just panties and Bill's t-shirt but didn't care, her baby was in danger.

"What is this??" Said Bill upset and now looked at his daughter. He gave Aurora a look to see how she and Isadora were feeling. Isadora was quiet, pleased by being in her mother's safe arms. Aurora cried and had no hands free to wipe the tears away. Bill walked up to her and took her in his arms and gave both her and Isadora a calming kiss then he looked at his daughter and Algot again. Both of them looked down at the floor shamefully while Bill looked at them with an angry look.

"You," he said to his daughter and pointed to the stairs. "You go up to your room now, then we will talk." She looked up at her father and gave Algot a fast look while he looked at Bill, hopeful, he seemed to believe he would just be able to leave.

"And you," Bill pointed to the boy. "You can wait in the living room while I call your father."

Algot nodded a little and dragged his hands over his hips nervously. He looked at Bill and then Aurora and paused his stare. He seemed to either think about what he had seen earlier or that Aurora just stood in thongs and a t-shirt.

"Don't look at her! Go into the living room, now!" Bill said much more angry than before and the boy walked quickly to the living room, terrified of Bill.

Bill turned to his wife and youngest daughter when they were alone and dragged his hand over Isadora's little head.

"Are you okay?" He asked them both, but expected just an answer from one of them.

"Yeah…" said Aurora with a sob and looked down at Isadora. "But what will you say to his dad? I mean he saw us…"

Bill scratched his neck.

"I must tell him the truth, otherwise Algot might do it or his father will not see the gravity of what his son has done…" he took a deep breath before continuing and walked closer to Aurora. "And we must check if he has taken photos…"

Aurora hadn't thought about that, she was too busy thinking about her daughter and looked down at the floor with big stressed eyes.

"Oh my god, Bill…" she sobbed again and pressed herself against her husband's naked chest.

×××

Algot's father, Nick, had once been a popular TV-personality. He led family entertainment shows and was famous for his dry humor. With the years came more and more unflattering things about him. He was sexist, homophobic and really shallow. The only program he had led the last couple of years was a program about cars on some small obscure channel.

Nick looked around in Bill and Aurora's big house curiously, or at what he could see from the living room. It had big spaces, retro details from the 20s, 50s and 60s but also a bit of weird art and vintage and music and movie posters. It was a great mix but also obvious they were things that cost money. On a sideboard by the big dinner table stood a wedding picture. Aurora had her legs wrapped around Bill's midriff with her silky dress pulled up. They kissed a bit too passionately with Bill's big hands on her bum. It wasn't a picture Nick had expected to see in the middle of a shared space with children in the house but it was hot and beautiful in the Italian landscape.

Bill cleared his throat to gain Nick’s attention. Aurora and Isadora were in the library on the left of the stairs while they were to the right on the stairs. Aurora didn't want to go up to Bill's middle daughter. She was really upset at her and wanted distance for now.

Nick looked at Bill with a little laugh then at his son that sat on the couch checking his phone. Bill hoped to be able to warn Nick about what would happen then but didn't as there was a ring at the door.

It was the chief for Aurora's security team, Robert. He gave Bill a serious look.

"Good you called. Better be safe than sorry," said Robert who walked in. Bill liked him, he took his work seriously, he'd never given Aurora too long glances and could laugh with them when it was needed.

×××

"So the only thing my son is guilty of is following your daughter here and looking into the dining area?"

Nick smirked, he had done since he had heard what his son had seen. It was obvious he more thought it was an achievement of his son to be able to see such a thing, like the celebrity couple was just entertainment.

"It may sound insignificant but my wife saw him stand there and stare at us."

"Who wouldn't?"

Nick laughed but gave Robert a nervous look.

Bill sighed aggressively and Robert could see how his temper shifted quickly and took over so Bill could calm down.

"The only thing we want is to look through Algot's phone and check to see he didn't take any pictures. That would be a crime," said Robert.

Nick laughed while Algot sat with low eyes and held a hard grip around his phone.

"That's a crime against his integrity! It's their own fault his daughter is so irresponsible and he and his little trophy wife want to fuck on the table!" Said Nick but he sounded more amused than angry.

Bill took an aggressive step closer to Nick but caught himself and instead dragged his hands through his hair in frustration. Robert was on his way to answer Nick when Aurora came out in her pink set and their little baby against her shoulder. Her eyes were red with tears and her hair laid messy around her shoulders.

The room changed by her presence. A woman suddenly stood with the men. A woman with a tiny baby. Robert stood up, like the gentleman he was when he saw her while Nick dragged his hands nervously over his hips. Bill looked at his wife with protective energy and also their little daughter.

"Can you take her a bit?" She asked Bill quietly.

Bill took their daughter in his arms but gave Aurora a nervous look. She was much tougher than she seemed to be but he felt like this was his conflict.

Aurora took a deep breath and sat down on the couch next to Algot but looked at Nick. It was obvious she made him nervous. Aurora wasn't just really famous and because of that powerful but also affected men in a way that could make Bill both worried and jealous. She got what she wanted almost every time she looked at a man with her big Bambi eyes and pouty lips. And if she cried it was even worse. Bill had seen her use her advantage many times, classical female ruler techniques and didn't know what he thought about it but now, when she didn't just use her natural feelings but also enhanced it with the techniques, he was glad she could manipulate men so easily.

She looked up at Nick with her big hazelnut eyes and licked her full lips. Her eyes were naturally shiny from tears but she had also pulled down the zipper on her sweater to show more of her chest. Because of the breast feeding they were bigger than they usually were and it was obvious Nick couldn't stop staring at her.

"The only thing I want is to see that your son doesn't have any… Pictures of me… Please, just let us look? Please?" She pleaded and pushed her tits together. Robert gave Bill a fast look. He was a great guy and would never lose his professionality but even he was amused by Aurora's acting.

Nick sighed and sat down next to Aurora. Way too close, thought Bill but he kept quiet even when Nick laid his hand on her knee and looked between her lips and tits.

"Absolutely… Absolutely…" he said and hugged her knee.

Robert concealed a smirk and put out his hands towards the teenager.

"No! Dad! I don't have anything!" Said Algot with panic in his voice, something that made them all believe he lied.

"Just give him the phone!" Said Nick angrily and stood up from the couch. Algot looked between the men, all pumped up on manly authority, then he gave Aurora the phone.

"Thank you, Algot…" she said carefully. He had already opened the album for her and she looked through the teenage pictures of selfies, soccer and bad memes. There was none of them. Or not from that day. She gave Algot a fast look when she saw the professional pictures of her and Bill. Pictures from photo shoots. She is in a blue printed bikini, Bill in a black suit jacket without anything under it. All of the pictures of them from their last photoshoot, a photoshoot of them together in Italy when Aurora was six months pregnant. But also pictures of others, both men and women in erotic settings.

Algot sat with a low gaze. He looked terrified. Aurora wondered if it was her and Bill she was afraid of or his dad.

"Do you promise that you don't have anything?" Asked Aurora softly and he looked up at Aurora with big eyes.

"Yes." He said truthfully and Aurora believed him because suddenly she sat on information he didn't want her to share.

"Then I believe you," said she and gave him his phone.

None of the men had really followed in what was happening and were shocked by how easy Aurora had let him go.

"Babe… Maybe you should let Robert check?" Said Bill carefully to his wife. She looked at him with a relaxed expression.

"I believe Algot. I think he doesn't have anything to win on making this into something," she said and looked at the boy who nodded.

Nick made a sound of relief and sat down next to Aurora again. He laid his hands on her knee again.

"Maybe this can just lead to us having a great friendship!" He said and looked down at Aurora's breasts again, that made her pull up the zipper to her chin.

×××

Bill and Aurora didn't have time to do much before they sat in the living room again, having a serious conversation. Aurora sat on the floor with Isadora who laid in the baby nest while Bill sat in an armchair, face to face with his ex who sat on the couch. He had just told her what had happened and she looked at him shocked.

"That's awful… Yeah that's awful but… She just wanted to be with her sister," said she and played with a ring on her index finger. Bill moved his head side to side without saying anything and that made Aurora irritated.

"She tried to kidnap her!" She said, upset and looked at both Bill and his ex with big eyes.

"I think kidnap is a weird choice of words here, it's her sister," said Bill's ex.

"She tried to take her when we didn't notice!"

Bill cleared his throat and corrected the hood on his hoodie.

"I think we don't need to discuss the word for the action but actually what she did. It wasn't good at all and we obviously must do something with… We must talk to her," said Bill to both of the women.

"Yeah, she can't let people in whenever she likes either. She is old enough to understand that, or we must ban her from the house. I can't have teenage boys running here," said Aurora. Her eyes had become shiny again and she looked down on her little baby in her panda printed onesie.

"Of course but you can also be a little more careful," said his ex pointedly.

"No! It's our home!"

"Yeah but who even has sex on the tab…" his ex realized she had told them a bit too much about her own sex life while trying to make fun of theirs.

Aurora, who now was provoked and angry, smirked.

"We have sex everywhere here. Several times a day, you know. Where you’re sitting Bill has given me head sooo many times!"

"Lou," said Bill with a firm voice to make her stop. It was rare that she showed such a side of herself but he knew she had it in her.

Bill's ex moved uncomfortably on the couch but seemed to decide to ignore Aurora completely after that. Bill thought that was quite good because then Aurora did the same thing.

"We want you on board for this… Because we feel like she must earn our trust again so we will lock the house for her. If she is here she will just be able to go in with one of us and she can't be with friends after school," said Bill and looked at his ex with big eyes. She cleared her throat and looked down at Isadora who hugged her mom's finger in her hand while yawning.

"She follows the rules at my place so I can't see why she can't be with friends when she is at mine."

Bill sighed frustratedly.

"Because then we won't seem like we're raising her together and she will just see me and Aurora as the bad guys."

His ex was quiet, like she didn't really care if they were the bad guys but then she sighed. She probably also realized it wasn't smart to create conflicts with Bill because then he wouldn't collaborate with her either.

"Fine, fine," she said with a sigh. She looked down at the beige couch because she thought she saw some white stains next to her and made a disgusted face.

×××

The twelve year old sat with crossed arms while she looked down at the ground. They had told her that Algot saw them in an "intimate moment" but also spoke seriously about her trying to take Isadora while they didn't notice. They said to her that they wouldn't let her come into the house without any of the two of them until they felt they could trust her and that she would be grounded for a month. She was angry. It was noticeable how all three adults felt with her. She had explained that she just missed her baby sister so much and just wanted some alone time with her. They could also see how horrified she was when they said Algot had seen them in such a moment. Aurora said he wouldn't tell anyone but no one of them could be totally sure, even if Aurora was quite sure of it. When they told her that her freedom would be restricted she started to pout.

"I always get the blame for everything!" She whined. Aurora had walked away to breastfeed Isadora but could still hear the girl. She wondered if they maybe were harsh to her but then also thought about what could have happened. Her idea was to take their premature daughter out in the snow without clothes for the weather. She had carried her like she was a plastic doll. She needed to learn in some way that she couldn't do whatever she wanted.

"No honey… But this was not good…" said the girl's mother. Bill sat leaned back in the armchair, watching them in silence at first while his ex tried to comfort their daughter.

"You must see that this isn't about you. Isadora could have been hurt. We have said over and over that she is a sensitive child and on top of that I know you understand it's not okay to take a child like that," said Bill authoritatively. He didn't baby her like his ex did because he could see how serious this was.

"You also know that our home isn't like your friends' homes or even your mother's. There's many people out there that are just too interested in Aurora. And me."

His daughter grunted and leaned back on the couch. She knew what her father said, she had even accepted it but now she felt frustrated about it all again.

Aurora still sat in the office listening to them. She wondered if Bill's daughter had understood Algot had other reasons to be with her. Has he ever shown her sides of being too interested in her but also Bill? It seemed like the boy had a thing for the both of them. Aurora would keep that to herself a while, a few days before telling Bill but otherwise it would stay with them. Algot was a child and probably confused with his sexuality. It wasn't anyone more than he needed to know.

When Bill told his middle daughter to leave him and her mother she walked to Aurora and Isis. The baby still laid her mother's arms and looked at her with big eyes and sucked her own left hand. The girl sat down next to them and looked down at Isis.

"I'm sorry… I just… I love her," the girl said bashfully and shrugged her shoulders.

"I know you do but you're her sister. Not her parent. You can't take her like that. I know you want to see her more but…" Aurora sighed. "You're a child. You seem to forget that."

The girl didn't say anything because it was still sensitive when Aurora was a part of her upbringing. It was still hard to understand that her father lived this life and would always be. The baby was her sister but Isis was a part of something that she wouldn't totally be a part of. Her father had something else with Aurora.

"Hey honey…" said Aurora, shocked and worried when she saw that the girl was crying. She rearranged so she could have Isis on one arm and hug Bill's middle daughter with the other one.

"I'm sorry honey… I'm sorry this is difficult for you… But it will be okay, we will all find a way…" whispered Aurora in the girl's ear. She nodded against Aurora's shoulder. She did love Aurora, she was amazing. It was just that she didn't know if she wanted to be with Aurora and Isis all the time or if she was angry for taking her father away. The emotions were too hard to understand for a twelve year old.

×××

Aurora was on the backside with the dogs. She threw a ball to Istvan that ran wildly over the big yard while Diana just laid on the dry part of the lawn and looked at them. Aurora wanted to be angry at the dogs, none of them had barked when Bill's daughter and Algot came but it was natural. It was Bill's daughter, family, a part of their pack. She loved the thought of a pack, a family without really thinking about what binds you have to each other. You just were together because you wanted to. Aurora didn't have any from her original family close to her. She had just had her parents. She was the only child and her parents had broken contact with many when he started to earn serious money and greedy hands dragged in them. Even more disappeared when Aurora got famous. It was tragic how family could treat each other for money and fame.

The only one left after her beloved father had died was her mother and she didn't want to move to Sweden. Aurora didn't blame her for that, she had always been a social butterfly and would probably be depressed by Sweden's calmness and coldness.

Aurora's pack was now Bill's family. She loved them so much but in these sort of moments she felt really alone. Sometimes it felt like she was the one that complicated everything. She tried to think it wasn't easier when Bill was with Hilma but it was still hard for her to not see herself as an imposter sometimes and if that was true, was Isadora also one?

She threw away the ball to Istvan again before feeling Bill's arms around her waist.

"It's not your fault, okay? You're the best person I could have welcomed into my children's life," said Bill with a low voice in her ear and kissed her just below her ear. Aurora smiled. He knew her too well and always knew what he should say. People were jealous of how horny they were for each other but the real thing was jealousy over how well they understood each other too.

"God this day… month… Life! It's chaotic!" Said Aurora with a laugh even if she didn't feel so much humor in it.

She felt the corner of Bill's mouth raise against her cheek and then he kissed the same spot.

"Yeah… But you know, I don't have the kids this Christmas. You, I and our little Isis should go away. To the sun. I think you need that, right?"

Aurora looked up at her husband, over her shoulder. It was a weird angle and she mostly just saw up his nose. She giggled a little and dragged her cold hands over Bill's big hands.

"I would love that."

"Yeah? Where do you want to go?"

Aurora thought a bit while playing with Bill's wedding rings.

"Cuba."

"Cuba?" Bill said a silly voice and turned her around and lifted her up a bit so he could straighten out his back. Aurora giggled and gave the dogs a fast look as they laid and then back at Bill.

"Cuba!"

×××

Cuba

Bill looked at his wife while she laid on the sun bed. Their daughter laid next to him under her own little sunscreen and dressed in sun protective clothes and a hat. She seemed as pleased as her mother. Her mother had much less clothing on and something Bill still could react to, a thong bikini. She had said she liked that it gave her a better tan and she thought her ass looked better in it but Bill still had something to get used to. He thought it was a bit too revealing but would never say that to her. Her body, her choice. He looked at his young wife and her wild hair and trendy sunglasses and played with his own shades. He has had them for years, he couldn't even remember when he got them.

"Am I old?" He asked Aurora who looked up from the magazine she was reading.

"No, but you're older than us," she said with a teasing smile. Bill gave her a crooked smile and looked at her full lips.

"Do I look old?" He asked. He could have problems confessing he thought about such things but felt safe with Aurora. He didn't need to always follow his own teaching with her, he could be complex and sensitive.

"No, but sure, you look like a man in his forties. But that's not old, that's like men's sexy age, yours too," she said with a smile. It felt honest and nothing she said was just to please him. Bill smiled and looked out over the turquoise water.

"Do I look old?" Asked Aurora. Bill gave her a look.

"You know you're perfect," he said with a lovesick smile. She smiled at him but looked down in the sand.

"But I asked if I look old now… You know I got an email from my manager's assistant. About the 'ponytail facelift'."

"Facelift??" He exclaimed in shock.

"Yeah. They have said it before. 'That I have aged' and the pregnancy has probably not made it better…"

Bill looked at her with big eyes. Of course she had aged. He could also see that. She still had some childish features when they met six years ago. Now she had lost fat in her cheeks and she was a bit darker in the inner corner of her eyes. The pregnancy had made her breasts bigger but also given her fine lines of stretch marks on her hips and lower stomach. She was a woman, the woman he loved but her career wasn't about being a woman or a mother.

"You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world but of course you have aged. Just like I have. Everyone does," He said.

Aurora sighed and looked at Isadora who was sleeping on her belly.

"I don't know if I like that. All the other girl's have done it. You know Freida?" Bill nodded, Freida was a girl who did similar music to Aurora, a few years younger who now was much more popular than her.

"She has done so much work. And she is 26."

Bill sighed. He was bad at this. He knew he couldn't understand her feelings at all in this because he didn't at all have the same pressure as she had. For him she was the most gorgeous girl but he could also see that she didn't look like the other pop girlies anymore.

"You're trying to do new music right?" He said to her.

"Yeah?" She said a bit confused and wondered if he was trying to change the subject.

"Can't that music just be a new chapter? You as a grown up. A woman. A mother. I guess it's not like… as mainstream popular but everyone will be older?"

Aurora looked at him with a little smile.

"It's silly how I’m more or less older than you, profession wise."

She didn't mean anything bad towards Bill with that, he was older than her and he gave her a crooked smile.

"But just professional wise… I will always see you as my oh so young, beautiful… Sexy girlfriend." Bill gave her an evil smirk and she giggled and walked to him so that they could kiss, a little bit too passionately, as usual.

#bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard #fan fiction #writing #story #bill skarsgård writing #bill skarsgård fanfiction #fiction #lou

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nagisasstunningpersonality · 2 years ago

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What do you think would happen if Nagisa was actually born biologically as female? I'm curious as to how it would change his character and personality 👀 And if the karmagisa dynamic would change drastically or not

I mean it depends. If Nagisa's birth sex is literally the only difference to canon, there's a chance he might have been less abused by Hiromi? I guess it's easier to look at this from the perspective of him being cisgender, because him still being a boy wouldn't significantly alter canon that much, you'd still have very similar issues I believe. I'll still use he/him pronouns in this post though.

I guess on an inherent level, Nagisa would probably have less of a complex about wearing skirts, having longer hair etc. I still believe he wouldn't LIKE it, but I don't think the same level of, arguably, dysphoria over it.

Hiromi would still probably be almost as bad, though. Her issues were never limited to Nagisa being female, even though that was the crux of it. She also wanted him to be academically successful, work for a specific company, and maintain a sort of hyper femininity? Nagisa being female would just remove that initial barrier to her 'replaying her own life'. I think she'd still be abusive in the same ways, maybe with more of an emphasis on different aspects.

I don't think Nagisa's personality would be fundamentally different, actually. Perhaps this is skewed by my own views on gender. But if we're breaking it down to what's basically a difference in testosterone, Nagisa never really acts with 'masculine' traits as it is. I still think it would be possible for him to be kind of a tomboy and prefer to wear his hair up etc.

His relationships with other characters would certainly be different. And, okay, I'm going to say it here because it's very important if I talk about karmagisa. Modern Japan is very interesting when it comes to gender stuff. And we have to take this with a pinch of salt that, though I have lived there, I'm not a teenager, nor am I Japanese. But generally speaking, you might consider views a little 'backwards'. A lot of women are relegated to housewife roles (mostly a result of 1900s campaigns, look up 'good wife, wise mother' if you're interested). The red light district and *ahem* adult entertainment industry, including brothels lovingly named 'soapworld' basically thrive, where sexual freedom is shied away from otherwise arguably. Long story short, there's a lot of misogyny. It's basically ingrained in the language itself, actually, but that's a very long argument. Point is, as one might expect, that effects relationships between boys and girls as kids. Not necessarily negatively- think of the 'never hit a girl' type of attitude. So, for example, I don't think what happened in episode one with Terasaka would EVER happen here. Similarly, I don't think Nagisa would be as close with Sugino, not in the same exact way at least.

KARMAGISA

I would bet [insert high value here] that they would be romantically canon. 100%. Like, I genuinely don't see any way in which it wouldn't be. If, at least, it's assumed that minimal plot beats change. Civil war probably would have ended with a kiss. I'm not confident that they'd address it much after that (though, valentines day episode?). But like, Chiba and Hayami are clearly canon without it being explicitly spelt out, so.

For the reasons I stated previously, I do think they would be written differently. Their distance, for instance, I really don't think would be significant. That's just kind of how it is, unless they're childhood friends from like nursery age maybe.

I'm also not sure if Karma would have been so forward when they first started hanging out (ie coming up to him and demanding they go to the cinema), though they were also kids, so maybe? I still think they'd have been close friends and it would have broken down in the same way.

Again, I'm uncertain if their relationship would have gone same exactly as it does in the show. Especially the teasing and the one on one time. Though, them hanging out together might definitely cause rumours, especially the Hawaii thing...

(lowkey it would be funny if Sugino's just trying to be a friend, but Karma thinks he just has a crush on Nagisa for like half a year lol)

Without writing like, a whole fanfic about it right here, the other major thing would be civil war. I still fully believe Nagisa's assassination skill is the exact same. I think he and Karma might still fight. But the thing is, even Karma... Look, okay. There's like one manga panel (just take my word for it, it's at the start of kyoto arc) where he shows how he has evidence against people he beat up. The photo he has as 'evidence' or blackmail or whatever it is shows a guy with injuries and a girl who just appears to be crying. Point is, I really doubt Karma would beat up on a girl unprovoked. I doubt he views women as lesser or anything, it's just so ingrained. Even OUTSIDE of Japan.

So yeah, point is, I don't see him physically shoving Nagisa in this version of events. Nor do I see thigh choking occurring. I think you could still get the set up with them yelling at each other though.

Actual civil war, I can picture them fighting pretty much the same however. I think that's different. Though, maybe the onlookers would comment on it more, maybe chastising Karma for being that rough. I could see someone countering, however, that Nagisa's perfectly capable, Karma's merely recognising that. So basically the same as canon, just slightly more nuanced.

Yeah, as I said before, I think they'd make karmagisa canon following this. I don't see it changing their dynamic much more than how I mentioned already though.

Honestly, I argued mostly how I think things would go down from the POV of the writing. My own opinion of the characters, however? There's obviously the issue of sexuality, especially with Karma. Personally I've written him with a variety of identities. I think nowadays my opinion is pretty much gay until proven otherwise (especially since koroq). So, in reality, maybe a female Nagisa would be more of a platonic friend?

That was accidentally a lot. I even tried to be brief. Whoops? Well, that's some analysis anyway. If anyone desperately wants me to go deeper into hcs on this, I don't mind doing so.

#karmagisa #nagisa shiota #ass class #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu

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bnhaobservation · 3 months ago

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It's okay, don't worry, it happens!

I think we should agree that, even we both live in western countries which are more similar among them than if we compare them to Asian ones, they're still different countries with different cultures, different educational methods, laws, religions, and that this form our experience and worldview. Just to give you an idea, the boys you mentioned are all guilty of school massacres. In my country we don't have such a thing. The closest to a shooting at school we had was done with a toy gun used against a teacher as an idiotic prank/form of harrassment. No one died and, obviously, no one expected the parents to cut contact with their child for that.

We do have criminals, of course, but none of that kind.

At this point I could give you info on our young criminals, what they do and how their parents, of how, not long ago, a girl (who wasn't victim of family abuse) with her boyfriend murdered her mother, her little brother and wanted to murder her father too but due to circumstances didn't manage and yet the father forgave her and remained near her because she's his daughter while the mother forgave her before dying and no one found the parents' reaction odd but I think the starting point would stay. Our experiences, culture, way to live, are different, we live things differently and so we react differently.

For example I see Touya's case as very different from the one of a singular mass murderer as he's the member of the equivalent of a domestic anarchic terrorist/revolutionary guerrilla group (which takes control of a huge domestic Quirk supremacist terrorist/revolutionary guerrilla group), which makes matters complicate because in my country we've complicate feelings toward domestic terrorist/revolutionary guerrilla groups (extremely long and complicate story). In fact while serial killers NEVER get sympathy and are labelled as monsters, domestic terrorist/revolutionary guerrilla groups might receive sympathy for their ideals or because they were actually fighting against an invader who occupied their country, which of course influences my judgement.

[Interesting enough the domestic terrorist guerrilla group behind the Tokyo subway sarin attack should have been the inspiration for the third BNHA movie]

Anyway, back to the original point, we're probably not going to find an agreement on what people 'normally' do, exactly because due to different cultures we've different versions of 'normal'... which are likely more similar among them than the Japanese one but still different.

And yes, most of what I'm saying is not from a Watsonian perspective.

From a Watsonian perspective the characters are people, and they can do whatever and we can chose whatever reason we prefer to excuse their actions if Horikoshi didn't canonically give us one.

I tackle the story from a Doylistic perspective.

The author has to drive home his message in a convincing manner.

Shonen in general, and MHA in specific are about never giving up, are on keeping on doing your best even against impossible odds.

So on a general line, if in a shonen a character gives up on something, he has picked the wrong choice and it will come to bit him back, not because in real life you can't give up but because the message of the story is YOU MUST NOT give up.

Enji's arc is one of atonement, in which he has to prove which kind of father he can be. If he prioritizes his Hero job the story will hit him on his head with it being a wrong choice.

In fact, the fact he chose to face All for One was the 'wrong' choice.

Not only Shouto couldn't stop Touya and ended up on making him angrier and more desperate but, accidentally, taught him phosphor, which becomes the reason Touya managed to handle raising hs temperature to such a high level. Shouto used phosphor to reach an impossibly cold temperature with his Quirk without freezing himself and Touya used it to do the opposite, which was exactly what Enji wanted his masterpiece to be able to do, used it to keep himself cold as he used an impossibly high temperature.

(just to make sure... I'm not criticizing Shouto here and I'm oversymplyfing the story because we're talking about Enji, not Touya and Shouto)

The result is that the situation is worsened.

The characters though, couldn't know that was the wrong choice, it actually seemed the best choice, Aizawa could have praised it for how rational it was... but as readers we could see it was bound to backfire.

But what if they had took the other option, how would it have worked, was it possible for it to work?

The story would have created the circumstances to make it work. Midoriya reached out to Tenko and lost his arms but the story gave him the means to have them back.

And we've plenty of other situations like that. When the characters do actions that drive home the positive messages of the story, the story, in order to pass it on, give them the chance to win.

It's a story on a shonen manga, it's not real life, it's meant to drive a message home not to teach us battle strategies to face Villains.

The reason why, for me, Enji's atonement works is because Enji didn't give up on atoning, on saving Touya and didn't chose his Hero job over Touya.

Dying with him had a meaning in his culture, one that it doesn't have in mine. Dying with him is meant to save Touya's soul in his culture, where in mine it doesn't save anything.

So I make a divide.

If Enji were to be a man from my country, or better if he were to be written as a character from my country using the people of my country as target audience... as a character he would have done a poor job at fulfilling his arc, his role.

Choosing to die with his son to save people here would mean nothing in regard to his atonement arc to Touya. He's just doing his job, prioritizing it over his son AGAIN.

He had no other option? As I said before, this is a story, that's not a valid excuse for not to keep fighting.

But in a story aimed at a Japanese audience?

He's doing good. After all, three volumes before that moment, we read one of his main traits is he's persistant, that he doesn't give up.

And Horikoshi was good at depicting this, I've already pointed it out in another post in reply to another person.

Enji first chose to die with Touya in atonement, and AFTER that they won't involve anyone else in their tragedy.

The point of Rei, Fuyumi and Natsuo is that they're doing the same. They know they don't have an ice Quirk powerful enough to stop Touya.

They're not trained Heroes and Shouto, who's amazing at using his ice Quirk, the first time couldn't stop him either.

But they still try. It's suicide, it's impossible... but they're still trying. And they do also try to talk to Touya. And the story will reward them. Not only Touya realizes they're there and hear them and we've this image...

...while they can't stop the explosion, for a brief moment they managed to lower Touya's temperature. This meant they basically bought Shouto some more time, the time he ultimately needed to arrive and save the day.

In the same way as Mirko and Mirio kept on fighting Shigaraki waiting for Midoriya to arrive, buying time for him to arrive even if it was impossible for them to beat him, the Todoroki managed to stall things long enough.

Because they didn't give up. Because they gave their best. Because their fulfilled their role in a story whose message is also about never giving up and keeping on hoping.

Said all this... the Todoroki arc, the Himiko/Toga arc and the Shigaraki/Midoriya arc all had the same 'problem'.

Horikoshi decided that the Villains won't be saved (yes, Touya survived the battle but we're told he's going to die so he only postponed his death).

So sometimes they don't do things other characters will do in other stories and that would stereotypically work because... they're meant to fail. Yes, the Todoroki could have talked more to Touya, could have tried to persuade him to stop... but it was bound to fail because Horikoshi set them up to fail so it won't dawn of them to do X, no matter how logical it would be because... they're meant to fail and doing X and showing it wouldn't work would be bad because it would be a waste of story time and would risk going against the theme.

Himiko and Shigaraki were meant to de and who knows, it's possible even Touya originally was meant to die after Enji said sorry but then Horikoshi decided to keep him alive a little longer (after all in Horikoshi's old plans Enji was meant to die earlier as well).

Anyway Touya is meant to die, not for realistic purposes because the story saved people who should have realistically died and not even for story purposes (Gran Torino survives even if his survival or his death after he gave his parting words to Midoriya makes no difference in the story, same goes for Compress, whose only role after the PLW is to listen to Geten and to read Spinner's book, all things that don't really change th plot much even if I loved him reading Spinner's book) but because that's the plan Horikoshi had.

Touya's brain being conveniently fried (same as Spinner, same as Shigaraki whose brain doesn't get fried but get possessed so that you can't really talk with them much) in a way that's pure fiction it's just a plot decide Horikoshi used that honestly I'm not fond of.

You make a strong divide between Touya and Dabi... but the divide is actually a lot more thinner. Touya isn't Kurogiri as far as we know. He never died, he survived the fire, he only ended in coma, for three years. Of course after 10 years away from home and a pile of trauma and negative experiences he's a changed person. But he's still a living person and he's still Touya, Enji's son.

He was meant to be a spare for All for One should Shigaraki fail for Garaki's own admission. They could have turned him into a Nomu eventually, probably tey would have turned him into a Nomu since Shigaraki was a success, but they never managed to because Touya escaped.

He's not Kurogiri who died and came back as a reanimated corpse.

Dabi being symbolic of a corpse, of the Frankenstain monster, of a vengeful ghost is just this, symbolic.

The fandom is currently split on the whole debate if 'saving the soul' without saving the body is still saving. It's undoubtedly a popular trope... but it's also a trope many hates and find unsatisfactory. I've not said all. If you're among the ones who love it, then it's okay.

In Buddhism which has strong ties with this story, saving the soul is what truly matter, the body is just a container.

However... Heroes would be soon out of job if all they did was 'save the souls'. A Hero is a Hero because he saves lives, not souls.

Midoriya doesn't cound as a win the fact he couldn't save Shigaraki's life nor does Uraraka count as a win the fact she couldn't save Himiko's even if both saved their souls (which, as I said in another post, is VERY important in Japan) and they had a lot less interest in saving what were basically two strangers to them.

Shouto went to face his brother thinking he could stop him without killing him, Enji made clear he didn't want to do as much as fight him and, while he faces Touya, he doesn't fight him.

They didn't go there to let him die and just save his soul, they wanted him to live, Enji said it out loud rather clearly.

Narratively it wasn't a complete win.

The general implication seems to be they were all too late, that's why they couldn't also save their lives.

Uraraka voiced it, someone should have done something SOONER.

That's why the chapters of the epilogue become important, because people start acting instead than waiting for a Hero, so that JokiJoki (that's how the boy the grandmother saved is called in the "World best Hero" pool) was saved and didn't become Shigaraki. Because someone acted sooner.

In the same way that's why Uraraka's Quirk counseling program is important, because it's meant to help stopping people from becoming Himiko.

What about Touya? The story already told us sooner how Shouto believed he could have become like his brother but Midoriya saved him before this could happen.

The lesson Horikoshi decided to drive home here is on the importance not to waste time or there will be negative consequences.

And this ties to your last point.

Yes, it helps no one that Enji is disabled, it doesn't happen because it's supposed to help someone.

In a Japanese contest the idea is that if you do something, that something will have unavoidable consequences. You can't escape them no matter how sorry you are. It's hitsuzen (必然).

To oversimplify:

if you drop a glass of water it will fall. If you don't collect all the pieces of glass and then will step on them with naked feet your feet will end up cut.

It can't be helped, it's how the world work.

You can see it as 'punishment' as if you held the glass better it wouldn't have shattered and if you'd done a better job at picking up shards they wouldn't have cut you, but there's no one punishing you for your carelessness and sloppiness, at most you're punishing yourself.

In the west with variations on the theme as we don't all profess the same religion, many believe there's a god that protect us and that, if we misbehave, he will also punish us... but that if we show sorrow for our misdeed we can be forgiven and god will go back on protecting us.

Again, it kind of varies according to which brand of religion is more popular in your country and how but that's the general idea and it's an idea with historical roots in Europe, people during the inquisition were told if they were innocent they wouldn't feel the pain of torture and, as absurd as this is, it went on for centuries and left a long lasting historical memory in the way we're educated to see things that's so pervasive even when people don't believe in a god that punishes misdeed, they might still have incorporated in their language and feelings the idea that some things are 'punishment'.

To oversimplify, going back to our example it'll be like saying if we are appropriately sorry and remorseful for dropping the glass god will protect us from cutting or will help us finding all the shards.

Remember, I'm oversymplifying.

Back to Enji, all he did lead to Touya's madness and to the fact Touya tried to nuke Japan and he couldn't persuade him to stop but still decided to die with him and this lead him to end up disabled. It's consequence and it's unavoidable.

It doesn't matter if it doesn't help no one, it doesn't matter if Enji is sorry now and it doesn't matter if he's not the only cause of the situation he was in.

He did what he did so he had to face consequences.

It's basically the same principle behind Shigaraki's speech.

Negative actions caused negative unavoidable consequences.

So what's the message? Won't it pass the idea it's useless to try to atone?

No, because if you don't, negative consequences will get even worse and the backlash will be even huge.

That's why the circle of pain has to be stopped, because if not it only worsen things.

In a way it's salvation Enji decided to atone because otherwise things would have gone worse.

Of course the problem here is that this isn't real life but a manga and in a story it's author is its god. There are no consequences if the authors doesn't want them to happen or forget them to happen.

Horikoshi tries to reproduce his beliefs in the story, that what Enji did in the past will necessarily have serious negative consequences, but that the fact he stopped doing wrong will stop those consequences from escalating further, but ultimately he's a human who makes things happen in his story and writes it for readers who wanted to see consequences happen.

He decides on the consequences according to how much he thinks they're fair and they would satisfy the readers. Basically you can view this as him punishing Enji.

He tries his best into making the consequences as a reaction to the misdeeds but, of course, it's a story, he's cherry picking them and using them as a message.

It's absolutely symbolic how Enji ends up on completely losing his strenght by becoming a disabled person who depends on others, it's absolutely symbolic how he ends up getting burned by his son's fire (and I'm willing to bet Touya's Quirk originally was also called Hellflame... it couldn't have been called blueflame as Touya's flames weren't blue yet when his Quirk was registered on the Quirk registry). It can however also work as a direct consequence of his actions.

Fundamentally he drove his son, who had an extremely powerful fire Quirk to madness, and this is the result of facing him too late.

Horikoshi isn't causing this with the aim to invalidate Enji's atonement arc and regret. Because Enji regrets and atone he still have people around him to support him.

If he hadn't likely the consequence would have been he would have ended up alone. His previous actions and his present actions are handled separately and don't nullify each other but lead to different consequences.

Again, it's a story, so, of course, this is no impartial math but Horikoshi's will.

And Touya faces consequences too. Now that his family is finally looking at him, he has to die. Now that his family is finally willing to spend time with him, he can't stay with them for too long. It's consequences again.

It's just they're not meant to fit in our idea of crime/punishment, but more in a cause/effect relation.

Touya destroyed his body knowing this would lead him to die so, of course, this is what is meant to happen.

Of course the fact that IT'S A STORY where sometimes consequences are magically waved away by some deus ex machina Quirk/scientific thing makes thing troublesome.

Horikoshi has written himself in a corner more than once due to this (in comparison "Dragon Ball" was much better at setting this sort of rules).

Ultimately, since that's the end of the story, Horikoshi preferred to lay out the message that Enji faced both the negative consequences of his negative actions and the positive consequences of his positive actions instead than have the positive consequences nullify the negative ones (for example having Shouto ask Eri to rewind him since her horn regrow).

If BNHA were instead to have more arcs ahead of itself whcih required Enji to still fight they would have probably done something to restore his body. As it is they left him as the embodiement of the consequences of negative and positive actions.

Again, different culture, different views and ideas to pass messages.

Sorry if I replied that late but now that I'm back at home life is kind of busy...

Did Enji atone to Touya (and his family) and stepped up on his role as a father?

Boku no Hero Academia has a grave 'flaw'. The fact that's strongly tied to Japanese culture and Buddhism makes it a very interesting work but also makes it a hardly international work because way too many cultural things are left unexplained because they're assumed to be a given. Only they're not when the work is read by foreign readers. And this lead to confusion.

The Todoroki plotline is an example of this.

In the west many feel Enji did nothing for Touya or did too little because the little he did is a given in the west. The point is... it's not a given in Japan. In Japan is a BIG DEAL. So let's go though it.

First, the fact that he doesn't want to kill Touya even though he's a criminal

Todoroki Enji ‘Ore wa ikinobite mo... ENDEAVOR wa shinda. Tairyō satsujinsha (read: musuko) to tatakaenai.’ 轟炎司「俺は生き延びても...エンデヴァーは死んだ。大量殺人者（むすこ）と戦えない。」 Todoroki Enji “Even if I survived... Endeavor is dead. I can't fight against a mass murderer (read: my son).”

Let's compare it to these two scenes of "Death Note" and see how Yagami Soichiro, a policeman, is taking the idea his son might be a killer and how, although Misa protests, the story doesn't present it as him being crazy but as it being his duty.

That's why Hawks doesn't want to send Enji, who's on an atonement path, to face Dabi, because Enji might end up in a situation in which he would have to kill his son and he would refuse... which is more or less what happens.

Second, Enji acknowledges that what Touya said is true, Touya is his son and Enji did what he did. In such a situation many would lie. Dabi's video proves nothing. He is a Villain, they had a doctor in the team who could create Nomu, the paternity test could be fake, even if Dabi were to provide a sample of his blood or skin they could insist that's fake.

Society didn't want the truth, they don't want Enji to confess, they wanted him to reassure them, they even commented he should have lied because yes, that's what's done often.

Basically he put his honor on the chopping block. A public apology like this one is a BIG DEAL in Japan. It's much more serious than in western countries and he does it when he could have spared himself and say Dabi lied but that would have meant to deny his son.

Third, it connects to the first in a way. While Enji is unwilling to kill Touya, he's willing to die with him. It's ‘shinjū’ (心中 Lit. “Mind/heart center/inside” but more likely means “oneness of hearts”, probably reflecting a psychological link between the participants) and it’s a word used in common parlance to refer to any group suicide of two or more individuals bound by love, typically lovers, parents and children, and even whole families. People who commit shinjū believe that they would be united again in heaven, a view supported by feudal teaching in Edo period Japan, which taught that the bond between loved ones would continue into the next world, and by the teaching of Pure Land Buddhism wherein it is believed that through shinjū, one can approach rebirth in the Pure Land. By volunteering to die with him, Enji is basically agreeing to remain with him in their next reincarnation.

For us it's crazy, it's Enji giving up on saving him. In Japan it sounds like 'I love you and I want to be with you'.

Forth, he'll apologize to Touya. As said before it's a BIG DEAL, especially since Enji is the family head and, although for us most of what he did is wrong, in Japan most of what he did is well within what he can do. Marrying a woman you don't love in a combined marriage to expect the child who'll be born from it will fulfill your ambitions and not really bothering to raise it because that's a mother job, well, things are changing in Japan but none of the above is a crime. In a not so distant past it was actually the norm. Yet Enji apologizes even though normally a family head wouldn't.

Fifth it's a bit in the first point and in the second but it'll drag on through all the story, Enji won't reject Touya. He's the only one (except Fuyumi who however doesn't get to say much) who never calls him Dabi after the reveal, and he won't strike him out of the family register but will keep on considering him his son.

Look at the Tobitas instead and at how they kick their son out.

Don't think Hawks is cutting strings with his parents solely because they were abusive, the Tobitas show us how you should just cut strings with a criminal. Same as the Togas.

Have "Theseus no fune" in which a man accused to be a murderer, send a birthday gift to his son and watch the reaction of his wife.

They don't want to keep contact with a criminal. It's scary because they'll be mistreated if they are discovered to be related to him.

And, in this vein, the fact he wants to go see him, that he'll keep on seeing him till the end instead than turning his back on him, is seen as important. It's seen as him being his father.

To many of us it seems as if he's forcing his presence upon Touya. Actually, from a Japanese perspective he's instead not abandoning him like many others would.

And since Touya is dying, very likely the talking will be the talking that's done in a Buddhist culture when someone is dying. Death should occur in a calm and peaceful environment, with close friends and family in attendance. Together they should reflect on the good deeds the dying person has done throughout their life, in the hopes it will help them in their next reincarnation. Additionally, family and friends can perform good deeds on behalf of them, which they believe will be of merit to the deceased.

So, since Touya is dying he won't get a scolding like Chisaki, they'll all only tell him nice and soothing things so he'll die peacefully.

Now... in the west all this is absolutely way too little, and in some points even feels wrong. Dying together instead than insisting in trying to save him? Deciding unilaterally to show up every day? Not our thing...

We can totally say 'thanks, I hate it' because we grew up with Darth Vader who instead gave his life to SAVE his son. All this accepting that Touya instead is going to die so Enji can at best die with him or keep him company until he does... well, it's mostly not our cup of cultural tea.

In in Japan though, all Enji does is important. Enji is doing something for Touya as a father, something important many fathers wouln't do for their sons.

Does it would satisfy a Japanese audience? They'll get the message better than us... but things are changing and anyway it can still feel too little. "Death Note" is dated 2005/2006 and back in it Misa was already questioning the idea of a father killing his son and then killing himself. BNHA is more innovative as Enji doesn't think to kill Touya but he still goes for the 'let's die together' route... and Horikoshi subtly criticizes it by having the rest of the family decising they'll try to stop the fire before just giving up. They're willing to die, but not before trying.

Enji represents plenty of old theories after all, which Horikoshi acknowledges were moved out of wrong beliefs, not moved by mean intents... which, is possible, would still not be enough for Japanese readers either because among teenagers, the target audience, there's an increasing number of teen who, in Japan, are forced to leave home (the Toyoko Kids) and often ends up committing crimes to survive and the league seems to be based on all the kind of homeless people Japan has.

While for a kid at home with a loving family being told that your father will die with him if he messes up instead than just dumping him might be comforting... for a kid that was abused and forced to leave home this might feel not enough.

People want to be saved, being told it's too late to save them, might be a lesson for those who hadn't done anything wrong yet so that they won't do it, but it's surely not a hopeful message for who instead got himself into troubles.

But well, that's something for the Japanese audience to ponder.

There's also to point out that, even though the message is not hopeful, Horikoshi is seeing the homeless people and acknowledging they should be helped.

Japan in regard to the Toyoko kids is mostly like the old woman who pretended not to see Tenko but that, in the end, helps that new boy.

I think Horikoshi's message desperately wants to be hopeful even for them, that he wants BNHA be like Midoriya's final stand, something that will push people to acknowledge they exist and reach out to help them.

It just that... it gets lost in what I'll call the 'litteral translation'.

No one explains us how we should jusge the scenes and, since we lack the cultural background, to us they are perceived differently because to us things work differently.

And, personally, even when I think I figured out the author's intent and can see the positivity of it, the cultural filter is still too tick and the picture gets blurried.

It's like being beginner at speaking a foreign language and having to constantly translate it in your head. The message loses its natural beauty, get simplified and not fully grasped.

I think I understand how Enji's atonement work in regard to Touya... it still doesn't feel fulfilling to me. But enough about Touya.

'Now,' you might rightfully say, 'fine, I'll bite, let's assume what Enji has is an atonement arc for Touya. It doesn't work at all in the west but let's give it a pass. What about his other kids?'

Natsuo and Fuyumi's wishes are in conflict.

Fuyumi wants the five of them to be a family (at the time she doesn't know Touya is alive), Natsuo doesn't want to be part of a family with Enji.

Enji's solution is giving Fuyumi a house in which she can welcome her mother and live with Natsuo (and Shouto when he comes home), while he removes himself from the equation. The solution fulfills Natsuo's wish of not seeing Enji because it makes him feel bad. It only partly fulfil Fuyumi's wish because it'll allow her to have her mother back (Rei couldn't bear meeting Enji either) and to stay with her siblings... but Enji takes responsibility for it, he doesn't tell her it's due to Natsuo that he can't live with them, so, in theory, it won't be Natsuo the one who's stressed to be at home when Enji is there and the one who has to leave home because he can't stand the sight of Enji.

There are many things I can say on how this is not a good solution (it doesn't make Natsuo feel better, it just stops him from feeling worse), but there are two points to consider. The first is that Enji is getting old and it would be his children's duty, due to filial pity, to take care of him, instead he's basically giving them the means to leave and take his wife with them.

Actually, since Natsuo is now the oldest MALE, it should fall on him specifically. Yes, Enji always intended to have Shouto inherit his mantle but this doesn't free Natsuo from his duties. Instead Enji is letting all his children free.

Even with Shouto, he doesn't insist anymore for Shouto to learn Flashfire Fist as his heir but just as an intern.

I take this is big in Japan.

Here again, not so much, especially in the countries in the west that think kids should leave their parents' home as soon as possible and we don't think our children are obliged to inherit our mantles.

Note how the story implies that this was meant to be the end for the Natsuo/Enji arc.

Natsuo made clear he didn't want to meet Enji again, he does it solely because they've to stop Touya and, once they've stopped Touya, he makes clear he doesn't want to see him again.

If we want though, the fact he's leaving the family can be seen as a concession in a way.

Since apparently Rei wants to stay with Enji (and likely their old house was devasted because that's what happens to relative of criminals) Enji can now move with Fuyumi and Rei and Natsuo won't have to see him because he'll leave home... to make his own home.

As for Shouto... Horikoshi answered his request by basically showing him Enji being a father for Touya and then promising he would protect them from the fiery fallout, which Horikoshi doesn't show at all because it's another thing that's a given in Japanese culture, it'll be hell for Enji to protect them, but not for us.

Just to get an idea of the fiery fallout here are some images from "Theseus no fune" again showing you how bad is this sort of thing.

Back to Enji, Horikoshi gives us verbal confirmation that Enji is now being a father by being willing to do this, by having Natsuo, who never called him as such, calling him father for the first time.

For Horikoshi that's Enji being a father.

Again, we've no idea of which hell Enji will suffer because that's not part of our culture. I've posted above screencaps of "Theseus no fune", that's how the fallout should be so not pretty at all.

So the fact that Enji will try to protect them from it is, again, BIG.

So yeah, Enji did do BIG things to atone and keeps on doing them and if he'll ultimately get forgiven by Natsuo (the rest of his family wanted to forgive him way before he were to do something), that's up to Natsuo... Horikoshi likely left this as open ending because he wanted to let it up to readers so as not to make them feel they were forced to forgive Enji.

In the general hopeful theme of the manga and with Natsuo acknowledging him as a cool father I guess his idea is that Natsuo too will eventually forgive him because he's kind.

I don't want to say that Natsuo forgiving Enji would be a culture clash because there's people even here that forgive their horrible parents and that's valid. Forgiving is a personal choice and one has the right to make it even if said horrible parent did nothing to deserve it.

It's up to you.

But sure is, if again we take the story at face value and not in its cultural contest, we can't see what Enji does to atone, because for us is nothing big.

It's even made worse by how Horikoshi doesn't show at all the hell Enji will go through (as for him is a given) so for us IT DOESN'T EXIST. We see Enji as having it easy, talking big but not having to face anything at all.

Honestly though... I think this is a bit of a flaw of the manga as a whole.

Way too often it prefers to focus on the good than on the bad so that the bad gets sidelined to much to the point people forget it.

There were horrible Heroes who committed crimes and had no intention to repent or stop... and we never met them. Nagant killed them off but we never met them.

Mountain Lady, who became a Hero for money and fame, then sticks to the job even when it's bad. Desugoro, who left the job when it turned bad, then came back to help. Enji is on an atonement path and, anyway, on work he was always a good Hero.

In the same way Horikoshi prefers not to show Enji's hardship but focus on how he'll have the support of his sidekicks, driver and Hawks... partly also because it ties in so well with the general message of everyone reaching out.

The result is that the Midoriya plotline of everyone reaching out becomes more important of the Enji atonement arc and overshadows it.

Enji's atonement arc ends in 426, chap 430 doesn't feel the need to tell us if Enji is keeping up with it despite the hardship, nor how his family is doing. It feels the need to reassure us that people will reach out for him even if he's in hell, that even if he had to give up on his family, he now as a new found family.

It's thematically consistent with the theme of reaching out but... the fact it overwrites the atonement arc honestly FOR ME doesn't work so great.

I think it's an overall problem of the 'reaching out message'.

While in itself is beautiful... it saves nothing I was lead to care about.

In Enji's case I was interested in his atonement arc, in how he could help his kids. I wanted more of that, partly because his atonement arc is so far from my culture, partly because it touched characters I cared about, I wanted to be reassured he would keep on working on it and that his family would be well.

Yes, he should be in hell, but the story didn't really work hard on trying to make me worry for him as it established already a support network for him. The story made me worry for the kids, for Touya, who was dying, for Fuyumi, who wanted back her family and won't have it, for Natsuo, who's marrying an unknown character so young, for Shouto, who has to cope with the loss of the brother with whom he wanted to connect.

I don't really care Burnin, Onima, Kido and Hawks are willing to continue to protect Enji, to reach out to help him, I knew they would, I wanted to be reassured Enji's kids are safe, well and protected. I wanted to see ENJI reach out and help them.

In this vein I don't really care the old grandmother saved a nameless abused kid, or, at least, not as much as I cared for Tomura to be saved. It's nice she saved him, it's nice he gets to live the life Tomura was denied but honestly, he's a mob character with a super tragic backstory created deliberately to force us to emotionally connect to him.

The message he now will be saved is good, but my emotional investment to him is too little.

The same applies to Uraraka's Quirk counsueling program, we knew next to nothing about the Quirk consueling previous program beyond that it didn't work (a real problem in Japan as they have a school consueling program that didn't work... and changes are in progress) and that now it supposedly does.

To how Shouji now solves peacefully plenty of conflicts caused by Heteromorph discrimination, which Horikoshi tossed in later and never really showed how to solve (and, don't take me wrong, it's not solved even by Shouji, he just solves peacefully the conflicts, how is up to everyone's speculation).

Long story short, I think Horikoshi worked really hard for BNHA to have an optimist, hopeful message... but part of it goes lost in cultural differences and part of it goes lost in how the story didn't try to get me invested in the things it's now saving.

So yeah, I'm still sad for this little panel in chap 430

I guess I'll eventually get over it. Today though, it's not that day.

On a positive note... if we count the pages of all the chapters that should go in vol 42 they're only 132. The chapters that were meant to go into Vol 39 had 165 (which yes, Horikoshi further expanded once the volume was released).

So yeah, unless Vol 42 will be slimmer than usual or that he'll add to it some sidestory or extra story, it's possible we'll get more plot in terms of epilogue. We'll see.

(also yes, I'm not touching Rei in this post. Rei is another can of worm entirely and one, I fear, Horikoshi doesn't care about. The poor woman doesn't even get a profile while Ikoma Komari does. And really, I do think Rei is much more important than Ikoma Komari)

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your-daily-biaswrecking · 3 years ago

Note

I wanna say that namjoons dad bestfriend drabble was so freaking hot….🥵🥵🥵 maybe part 2? 🙏 when they make out in family house of yn? And her dad is next room 👀 i am so dirty pls forgive me😂

can't believe it took me so long to answer this... okay, so, my requests are not open but i decided to clear up my inbox a bit, starting with this one. as for this part 2... i know it could have been just a short scene with pure smut, but i wanted the drama of the plot, okay? also i'm not doing another psa: this is wrong and pls don't do this, it's just fiction

part 1

Namjoon knew he had to stop this. This... Whatever it was the two of you had. He had found excuses to come see you multiple times throughout the winter, always missing you too much and being unable to stay away for too long. But when you surprised him, secretly coming back to your hometown to be with just him for a week, he wasn't as happy. It was the first reminder of how different your worlds were; he was a grown man minding his career, at an age where he should be seeking marriage and kids. And you? You were skipping school to see your crush.

"I think my daughter has a boyfriend," his best friend casually told him one day soon after that. Namjoon froze, his heart the only thing reacting to those words. But his friend went on nonchalantly, pointing to his ignorance. "I don't mind, of course. I've only told her one thing, and it's not to get pregnant. I don't want her to go through what her mother and I went through, you know? She's at this age... you know? She needs to enjoy her age."

Namjoon... The grown man who should be seeking marriage and kids was fucking this girl. All those times he came inside you, filling you up a little too aggressively– as if deep down he wished he'd knock you up and keep you to himself forever.

He had to end this.

When he told you those same words –you need to enjoy your age, you need to be with a peer– you seemed more mad than hurt. But perhaps you understood. You weren't stupid, you too knew this was wrong. Perhaps you were just waiting for it to happen, waiting for the excitement of doing something against the rules to die out and the realization of the responsibility to hit him. You didn't blame him. But you were still annoyed. Stopped talking altogether, the only news he got from you now came from your father. You did get a boyfriend, or so he was told. And you were doing well with your studies and you were generally living a great student's life.

Summertime and you were here again. Along with your so-called boyfriend. Namjoon was so pissed off when he saw the skinny, mussy, sweaty boy that seemed to either be very slow or high off his ass all the time. And you seemed pleased with yourself.

"You really had to bring him here?"

You chuckled– an evil laugh, he thought. "I thought you'd be happy to see me dating someone my age." When your eyes met his, you made him feel like your positions were switched. So confident while he was almost throwing a tantrum. "What about you?" you asked. "Dating anyone your age?"

On that topic, Namjoon had more than enough women showing interest. And your father, for some reason, was dead set on finding him a wife. All those blind dates he had to escape from! He was simply not interested. He didn't want to admit it was because he was still thinking about you; that no one else would ever be a good replacement for you. He didn't want to because he didn't plan on coming back to you; he had to be the adult, the mature one, and stay away. It was the logical and the right thing to do. He didn't want to admit that, despite all of his intelligence and reason, he still thought about you... Because if he did this would no longer be just some attraction, just some fucking around. If he admitted it was more, what would happen then?

No... this was good. You had already moved on. Enjoying your life the way you were supposed to, a life he had no room to be in. All he had to do now was follow your example.

"Namjoon..."

That text was sent past 2 am on a rainy night in October. The only text he had gotten from you in months. That was all it said yet it made his stomach tight as if you had moaned his name in his ear. As if he knew exactly why you had texted him; needy in the middle of the night, that measly boy surely unable to satisfy you, knowing exactly who could help you at that moment. Fuck... Perhaps if he replied right then things would go back to how they were a year ago. He didn't. And you didn't text him again.

"Joon! You are staying for the holidays, right? You should spend Christmas with us." Your father was more than happy to share that day meant to be with family, with his best friend. Namjoon was like family anyway, wasn't he? When he tried to come up with an excuse, the other insisted. "See? If you were married now you would have someone to spend Christmas with, but you're not, so you'll come to spend it with our family. My daughter's coming home tomorrow, too. Ah. Could you pick her up 'cause–"

"No. I can't. Too busy."

The man laughed. "It's okay. But I am expecting you for dinner on Christmas!" he said with a pointing finger. "I'm not taking no for an answer."

And so there he was. Sitting right across from you at the table. In the months that had passed, you had gained some weight and he thought you had never looked better. Your face a little fuller, your jeans straining against your round thighs and hips, your breasts fitting your curves just right. The body of a grown woman. All Namjoon could think about was feeling you against him again. And he was mad again... Did your stupid boyfriend have the chance to fuck you like that? He didn't deserve you.

"You didn't bring that boy with you this time..." he commented.

"What, Eric?" your mother answered for you. "They broke up."

Namjoon raised an eyebrow, eyes never leaving yours. "Really? How come?"

The corner of your lips turned upwards. "He was just... Too much of a kid."

He hated the way he sighed in relief, the way excitement bubbled in his stomach. He shouldn't be as happy to hear that as he was... He glanced at you again, your hair that had grown longer pushed back to expose your neck. It was getting harder and harder for Namjoon to keep his mind from wandering off to inappropriate things. Along with other parts getting hard.

And then your father spoke. "Joon. You know she's graduating next month, right?" His eyebrows shot up high on his forehead because no– no, he didn't know that. "She's looking for an internship and I thought–"

"Dad..."

"–you could help her get in your company? Maybe you could put in a good word for her?"

"Dad!" Your tone and the way your eyes widened towards your father's way betrayed the fact that the topic hadn't been new, and that you were clearly against the idea.

He looked at you until you finally turned back to face him. And surprising both himself and you, he said: "Yes, of course."

"I'm going to sleep," you announced after the dinner was over and you had helped clean up the table. You gave Namjoon a long glance before you disappeared down the hallway. Your parents had moved to the couch, TV on for some music and a game of cards keeping them busy when their friend asked to go to the bathroom. And you heard a soft knock on your door. "I'm assuming you know that's the wrong door you're knocking at," you spoke before you opened. Already in your sleeping outfit that consisted of an oversized t-shirt and just your panties.

"You knew it was me?" Namjoon whispered, eyes still stuck on your thighs.

"My parents don't knock."

You let him in, closing the door behind you and leaning on it as you looked up at him through your lashes. You both stayed silent for a moment, your breaths the only thing filling the empty, badly lit room. You noticed how he wet his plump lips and bit them while he was examining your face. So close you could smell his aroma, the one you never forgot.

“You don’t have to… you know,” you spoke, referring to your father’s idea. “I know you want to avoid me.”

Namjoon exhaled from his nose as if he was annoyed. “I- It’s not that I want to…”

“I know.” You gulped, finding your mouth wetting too much at the wish of kissing him, along with other parts getting wet. “You don’t want to— you have to.” You dared place your hands on his chest, and instead of pulling away, he leaned into your touch. Feeling his heart beat fast under your fingertips like the way he was breathing. He was slowly losing his mind but he knew he wasn’t the only one. “You don’t have to push me away,” you continued in a low tone. “I know what I’m doing. I’m the one coming to you.”

“Little one…” he rasped, and it had you catching a moan in the back of your throat. Oh, how you longed for his pet names, his voice calling to you lovingly. He stepped even closer. He knew he shouldn’t be there, he shouldn’t be doing this right now… But how could he stop? He wanted you so bad. His hands cupped your cheeks, lips just a breath away from yours, brushing against you as he whispered: “Come work with me… I wanna see you every day.”

The fabric of his shirt pooled in your palms as you grabbed him, closing the tiny gap between you. Both of you sighing in a mixture of relief and impatience as your lips crushed together. The softness only lasted a few seconds before you were moaning and Namjoon was pinning you on the door, deepening the kiss by slipping his tongue in like he was trying to devour you. Your arms wrapped around him while his hands traveled down your body, groping you like you were his stress relief toy. Your hips, your ass… He broke the kiss and buried his face in your neck.

“Ah- daddy,” you whined, grinding on him.

Namjoon felt like he was about to cry. “I missed you so much!” he choked out right before latching his teeth on your skin. Your naughty fingers were struggling to unzip his pants quickly and it made him chuckle instead of sob. “Fuck—” he growled. And he pulled back to stare at you with dark eyes. “Such a little slut, so desperate for my cock.” There he was; the Namjoon you knew so well. His words made you shiver.

“Please, daddy. I need you right now.”

He placed a hand on the door right next to your head, while he freed his dick with the other. “Your parents are right outside.”

Ignoring his words, you discarded your panties and took him in your hand, biting your lip. “I can’t wait any longer, need you to fuck me right now, plea-ase!” you whined a little too loud and Namjoon growled, grabbing your legs and lifting you until you straddled his waist, back on the door.

“Gosh, you’ll get daddy in big trouble, baby.” Tip of his cock brushing your wet folds, making your mouth drop. “They might come looking for me.”

“Quick,” you sobbed. “Be quick, please, just— ah!”

He slipped inside and you both gasped. Your legs were shaking at the feeling, eyes rolling back and a moan as quiet as you could manage rumbled through your neck. He got as deep as he could, face scrunching as if he was in pain. You kissed him.

“I’ve missed you, daddy. I’ve missed this so much.”

His head was spinning as he was trying to find the right words, the words that could describe exactly how he felt about you. “I- I-”

Laughter echoed through the house— your mother. You both froze. Namjoon glanced at the doorknob, and then he grabbed it; your parents could walk in at any moment. He didn’t stop though, nothing could stop him now. He angled his hips and started thrusting into you; fast and sloppy because the clock was ticking.

“Daddy…” you mewled, unable to do or say anything else.

Namjoon clasped a hand over your mouth. “Shh,” he demanded. “You better not start screaming like the little whore you are, or they’ll hear us.”

His words had the opposite effect of what he wanted; making you moan harder. And the fact that he had his big hand over your mouth made you not care to keep quiet. Your choked whines along with the wet sounds of his dick slipping in and out of you could definitely be heard from the other side of the door, perhaps even from that couch your father was on had it not been for the music.

“Shit, you—” he growled. He finally dropped his hand from your mouth, wanting to grab your ass to lift you higher, fuck you better.

Your head fell on his shoulder before you decided to bite down on it to stop yourself from screaming as Namjoon’s thick dick drilled into you with no mercy. “So-o good…”

“Yeah?” He sounded out of breath already, yet cocky. “Did you forget what it’s like to have a real man fuck your pussy, baby? That little boy didn’t do shit, did he? He can’t fuck you as good as daddy, right?”

Your nails dug in his back and you felt your brain so rotten like he was about to fuck you to sleep. “I… don’t know…” you mumbled.

Namjoon stopped. He pulled his head slightly back but he couldn’t see your face. “What?” Your body squirmed, trying to chase that high he had just denied you. “What do you mean—”

“I don’t know what he was like,” you whined. “I only thought of you.”

Another laughter, loud voices coming from that couch. It didn’t scare him that much this time, his heart was already racing and he only gave that direction a glance before he was pulling your head back to look into your eyes. Only then did he notice the tear stains on your cheeks, and you sobbed, choked as he thrust into you again.

“I only thought of you, daddy…” you repeated with a whimper. And it had his eyes rolling to the back of his head, pumping into you a couple more times, hard, before he spilled his seed deep inside.

A whisper. “Fuck…” Panting and groaning as he was trying to come to, and you watching his glistening face as he grimaced and bit his lip. He let you down, resting his forehead on the door while he still struggled to collect himself, and you basked in the pride it gave you. You tucked him back in his underwear and zipped him up with a smirk on your lips, seeing how he finally started to be able to focus his eyes on you.

You opened the door slightly and peeked out; your parents were still playing cards on the couch, they didn’t notice you just like they probably hadn’t noticed how long Namjoon was gone for.

“You should go back,” you whispered as you came back into the room. Namjoon kissed you quickly like he was trying to catch you off guard. And then he grabbed your chin, staring down at you, breaths still coming out too hard.

“Don’t fall asleep, baby. I’ll come back to finish what I started when your father goes to bed.”

You smiled, pushing him slightly back yet he wasn’t budging. “Go…” you prompted as you started feeling his cum sipping out of your cunt and slowly running down your thighs.

Namjoon smiled too. “Really. I’ll eat you out till you pass out, baby, I promise.”

In the dark of the room and the rush of the moment, you decided you had no reason not to let your thoughts slip out. “I wish you could just come to sleep in my arms.”

He got a little serious. And he kissed you again, slower than before. “I’ll see what I can do.”

He left through that door, meeting your parents that were happy to see him yet didn’t even bother to point out his long absence. Sitting next to his best friend while his breathing was still shaky from fucking his daughter.

Shit… That girl will get him in so much trouble…

Masterlist

#bts #bangtan #namjoon #rm #kim namjoon #request #drabble #fanfic #oneshot #smut #dilf namjoon #bts drabble #bts smut #namjoon drabble #namjoon smut #namjoon one shot #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader #kkklaudiaaa17

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