#I LITERALLY NEED TO FIND THIS OR MY LIFE IS INCOMPLETE

[amylilly]

OKAY SO I DONT REALLY LIKE ASKING FOR HELP BUT LIKEE I KINDA NEED IT (also im shit at explaining sooo, sorry)

So anyone who reads sanders sides fanfics (or just in general) I NEED HELP FOR FINDING THIS ONE FANFIC THAT IS STUCK IN MY BRAIN AND IF I DONT READ IT IMA EXPLODE

My memory is kinda shit but ill try to recall as much as i can

the fanfic was about logan, patton, virgil, roman, and maybe thomas too?? getting kidnapped?? sucked into a game/rpg?? and they had to find some items to defeat the boss and stuff. I remember that they had weapons but idk what they were. i think one of them got their arm broken, and i think they were spilt for a bit (like 2-3 chapters if i remember correctly) i don’t remember how they escape exactly but i remember they woke up, talked about for a bit and went along with their days? i might be remembering wrong for some parts. The fanfic was on ao3 and it was multi-chapter. i think LAMP was also in the tags but idk

if anyone can find it lemme know please its been stuck in my head for days and i had no luck finding it so far.

and now ima head out bc i spent too long thinking about this fic and i really need to do my homework like rn

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Four to Tango (poly!Mates Bat Boys)

Pairing(s): Rhysand x Reader, Cassian x Reader, Azriel x Reader

Warnings: foursome, smut, just a reason to create smut where three gorgeous fucking men rearrange your organs, cunnilingus, fingering, p in v, never ending orgasms lol, overstimulation, all three of them are utter teases, polyamorous mates, no jealousy, rhys loves to watch his brothers fuck you stupid, my emotional support bat boys, i desperately need them rn, foursomes are hard to write ngl 🫠

Words: 5836

Summary: Three of them at the same time? You may not make it out alive.

Life before your three mates had never consisted with as much sex as it does now. In fact you were a virgin when you met the Illyrian trio. Not for lack of trying to get into a relationship. There were other concerns for you to attend to that distracted you from finding a partner.

Then Azriel literally fell into your lap. Followed by Cassian descending from the sky while laughing at the other who was blushing furiously and trying to scramble off of you with a string of apologies. Rhysand, with a flap of his wings touches down to the ground with an entertained grin. Until his violet eyes noticed you. Really noticed you. Almost reading into your soul.

Had it really been only four months since then?

Thinking about it had you blushing into your pillow. Four months of mind shattering orgasms and lavished with never ending affection. You must have really been good in your past life to receive these three as a reward.

Rhys shifts beside you. Voice husky from sleep but practically purring when he wraps his arms around you. "Seems like its been longer than four months, huh?"

His palms flatten against your midsection. Warmth immediately spreading across the plane of your skin. You wiggle closer to him and in reply, Rhys buries his face in the juncture of your neck. His lips pepper small kisses along the soft skin of your jugular.

He took turns with Cassian and Azriel as to who spent the night with you. It was only fair. You told them that you cared for them all equally and it didn't matter to you. You'd accept whatever they could agree upon without there being any jealousy.

Rotating was tricky in the beginning. Giving them each the same amount of attention to prevent feelings of being left out. And maybe you were starting to get greedy with their love because you couldn't help but feel incomplete without the other two when you were in one's bed.

Your inner musing catches Rhysand's attention; seemingly waking him up. The arm laying on top of you is removed when he sits up. Did you unintentionally offend him with your thoughts?

"Would you be interested in all three of us here?" He questions.

You turn to address the high lord of the Night Court. Beautifully and sinfully sexy the way he leans on his elbow to gaze at you. Tousled black hair shifting across his brow. What an alluring sigh the made. Tattoos and scars marking the smooth surface of his tan skin.

"All three of you in this bed?" It had been done before when you wanted to cuddle with all three of your mates. Rhys' bed nearly broke, not large enough to support two extra heavy frames.

"More than that." Rhysand's thumb brushes a stray hair out of your face. The depth of his tone had a warmth shooting down to your core. Thighs press together, you melt under his attention. "All three of us feasting upon you. At the same time." A growling undertone hits your ears. Your breathing becomes shallow as he holds your gaze.

You gulp, mind already racing when you whimper out "A-All of you?"

Rhys reads each and every one of your dirty thoughts, his lips curling sinisterly. "Can I take that as a 'yes', love?"

A furious blush overheats your cheeks and the tips of your ears. "I-I. . . How would that even work out?"

He leans in and nips at your already burning shell of your ear "You leave that to us."

Ever loving to tease you, he leaves with that promise hanging in the air. Claiming he had work to do but that he'd see you for lunch. For a while you lay in bed, thinking of the dark glint in your mate's eyes.

Surely, all three of them would be way too much for you to handle. Each of them were terrifyingly well-endowed. Especially Azriel. It took several tries to get more than the head of his cock inside of you. In the end he had to ease it in slowly over several dates until you could fully sheath him.

It became your hyperfixation throughout the day. As you went about the House of Wind to when you were out in the town market.

When you bump into Mor back at the townhouse, she manages to make you squeal on what Rhys had brought up earlier that morning.

Mor lets out a low, impressed whistle. "You have got to be the luckiest female in all of Prythian. What are you sweating about?"

"I can barely handle one of them at a time, Mor. I fear they'll kill me. Death by cock. I don't want that on my tombstone."

"Death by cock doesn't sound too bad." she hums but it turns into a snort when she catches your distressed expression. "Quit fretting. They'll take good care of you."

Chewing on your bottom lilp you knew you probably came off as silly to her.

Mor's hand caresses your upper arm. In a short amount of time, Mor had become the big sister you never knew you needed. She became your confidant and would keep all of your secrets; take them to the grave if required. "They're dumb males but they love you. Never in a million years would they ever dream of doing anything to hurt you."

That was clear to you since day one. The Cauldron destined all three of them to be your mates for a reason.

And it could be fun.

Who were you kidding, you knew it would be fun. Having sex with them individually always reduced your bones to pure pudding. They were overly generous lovers. Always making sure you climaxed first. Treating you not like a queen but a divine entity to be worshipped. Their faces, your thrones.

Talking with Mor did you good. You felt absurd at your previous concern. This would be the experience of a lifetime. Getting to love all three of your mates at once had you giddy.

After Mor leaves, you're constantly checking the clock. Almost lunch time. That meant your boys would be home at any minute. Your heart felt like a energetic bird in a cage, banging against its bars in desperation to get out.

You debate going upstairs and changing your underwear to something sexier when you stand to head toward the stairs, that's when the front door opens. Poking your head out from around the corner, you confirm it to be your boys. You were still getting used to the feeling of the mental connection that connected you to your three mates. Cassian and Az are in the middle of a conversation behind Rhysand when the trio walks in. Rhys grins at you before grabbing the attention of the Illyrians who stop their chatter.

Never one to be subtle, Cassian struts past them and pulls you out into the entry hallway. He swoops down to capture your lips with his, picking you off your feet unintentionally. His kisses always took all the air out of you, making your head delightfully light and floating. Cassian's eyes hold specks of glittering gold when he returns you to the ground.

"Welcome home." you breathily greet him. You swear Cassian puffs his chest out like a proud parrot every time he can get your vision to go starry with his kisses.

"You should've moved in a long time ago. I like coming home to you." Cassian's voice is smooth, deep as if purring.

Rhysand chuckles at your swooning thoughts toward the general. "Easy Cass. Get her any more riled up and we may not make it to the bedroom in time."

The cool caress of Azriel's shadows slithering up your legs accelerates the 'lub dub' of your chest.

"Aw, am I exciting you princess?" The general gets an immediate reaction when he picks up the scent of your arousal dripping from between your legs. Dark delight curls Cassian's lips.

Rhysand and Azriel appear to smell you as well. Hunger straightens their backs and their pupils blowing out. Azriel's serpentine shadows squeeze the fat of your upper thigh, another prods curiously at your clothed pussy, asking for permission inside. "Now sweetling, you wouldn't want anyone to come upon us and ruin our fun. Be a good girl and head up those stairs."

"You heard him." Rhysand reinforces Azriel's command when you hesitate, your face beet red. His chin tilts up, gesturing to the staircase on your right.

They looked like three wolves before they pounce on the poor unsuspecting lamb. You go up the stairs on wobbly legs. Every inch of you tingled with anticipation feeling the heat of the boys at your back. They're basically panting behind you, forced to watch the sway of your hips and ass as you go up one step and then another. Its a race to the bedroom door. You're the one to twist the knob, but its the flat of three palms against the door's smooth frame that shove it wide open. Cassian scoops you up, the ground slipping out from under you.

Cassian twirls you around before settling you down on the mattress like the treasure you were. If he possessed a tail, you bet all the riches in Prythian that it would be wagging fast. His lips are placing kisses all along your exposed legs, having flipped your dress skirts up. You uncontrollably giggle when he reaches the upper insides of your thighs, so close to your core.

You catch Rhysand's dark chuckle, the door closing shut follows after.

"Impatient as ever, Cass." Azriel comments and moves to one side of Rhys' bed while Rhysand stalks toward the other.

Hovering over you with his hair tickling your face, Cassian smirks and gifts you one last kiss before allowing you to sit up. With your three mates in front of you, you couldn't help feeling a little shy. Individually, you'd become sexually confident with them. But to have three pairs of lustful eyes all focused in on you. . .

You fidget and squirm, feeling the space between your legs flutter. "S-So. . . how is this going to work?"

"Nervous?" Rhysand reaches his hand out to gently stroke a lock of your hair.

"A little. I mean, to have the Night Court's high lord, general and spymaster all together is a bit intimidating. But I trust all of you." You grip Rhys' hand and move it towards your lips to kiss his knuckles; swearing that you hear him sharply inhale as you do so. You spoke the truth when you said you trusted them. They had you feeling confident and bold with the lavish amounts of love that they bestowed you with each day. How they made you feel like you could take on the very world itself as long as they were by your side.

Letting go of Rhysand's hand, you start to undress; overtly cognizant of their heated stares. Fully naked, you decide that Azriel's been so patient in waiting for attention. He grins when you crawl onto his lap and cup his jaw to pull him into a fervant kiss. His wings twitch and the shadows that perpetually clung to him push you closer against his form. In the background, you hear Rhysand and Cassian shuffle around. You wonder if they'd talked about this often.

"Oh, we have." Rhysand grins. "Many times. Sweetling, you have no idea the of the plans we've devised."

Azriel bites your lip in the moment making you gasp. Those powerful hands of his grip your ass tightly, forcefully moving you in a grinding motion against his hardening cock. Not caring that a smear of your arousal shined on the fabric of his pants.

"All the ways we can absolutely devour you."

Behind you, sharp teeth graze your shoulder making you squirm even more on Azriel's lap.

"The delicious thing that you are, it was necessary to. . . coordinate our moves." They move from your shoulder to your neck.

Your moans are unrestricted, they simply go directly into Az's mouth. He greedily feasts on them, tendrils of shadows softly gliding down your calf and to your ankles.

Now, Az.

You're not spared even a second before you're flipped around. Azriel takes hold of your wrists, splaying you out in front of Rhysand and Cassian. Their tattoos free from the confines of their shirts. And of course their well endowed shafts were already hard.

Rhysand is on his stomache, creeping closer to your pussy lips to brush his mouth against it before nuzzling with the tip of his nose at that little bundle of nerves that had the muscles in your thighs twitching. Teasing at first until his tongue lazily toys with it.

Azriel has you completely restrained. Nowhere for you to run or hide.

Fingers rub along your labia that was coated in your slick. Rhysand uses his fingers to gently pull your lower lips apart.

Your hazy gaze falls on Cassian who is gently stroking himself. He sends you a wolfish grin when he catches you. "Feel good, princess?"

All you can give out in response is a kiltered mewl. Rhysand was making his circles larger and larger around your clit. The tip of his finger starts to tickle at your entrance.

"A-Aahh-" Head lolling back, it falls against Azriel's shoulder. He's kissing the length of your neck, definitely leaving love bites.

Inch by inch, Rhysand inserts his index finger in you and ever so gently begins to curl his finger from inside of you. It's featherlight but enough to send an electric jolt through you and up your throat. Between your legs, Rhysand is constantly changing his speed and pressure. You squirm when Rhysand easily slips another finger inside of you and picks up his tongue speed on your clit.

You're trying your best to gyrate your hips to a near grind against Rhysand's face but Azriel's pesky shadows simply wouldn't allow it.

"Please!" You moan with another pathetic thrust of your hips.

Rhysand's lips smirk against your pussy.

"What do you say, general? Should the high lord let our well mannered lady come?" croons Azriel as he nips at the soft spots on your neck.

The tip of Cassian's cock is blushing with the most perfect bead of precum like a pearl. His lips curl in a smile when he catches your pretty eyes staring at him. He makes a show and swoops his thumb over the tip of his cock, dilated pupils observing how your mouth unconsciously opens with want to take in Cassian's member. And he would love to shove his cock down your throat, but that would have to be another time.

Instead, Cassian chooses to cock his head in scrutiny. "Too soon, don't you think?"

You desperately shake your head in disagreement but behind you Azriel laughs. "You're a cruel bastard aren't you?"

Shrugging indifferently before turning a wicked smirk your way, Rhysand returns to teasingly feasting on you as you squirm to shove your pussy closer to his mouth. He reduced his tongue strocks to pathetic kitten licks that had you wanting more.

Replacing Azriel's hands was the cool grip of his shadows as his hands now grip your tits. Scarred finger pads toy with your nipple until both are erect. Between your legs Rhys continues running the flat of his tongue up and down, dealing little rolls of the tip of his tongue against your clit occasionally. Just enough to keep you on the edge.

You're a whimpering, moaning mess. Half lidded eyes are barely able to make out the now fuzzy image of Cassian as he strolls to your other side. He puts one knee on the bed and leaning on his hands for support, he bites at your free tit that isn't being tortured by Azriel's loving pinches. His mouth latches on instantly.

Focus all over the place, you're lost in your own heady bliss and while you were denied your orgasm, your whole body was trembling from your mates' individual actions.

When Rhysand sits up, you nearly scream in frustration and pull at your shadowy restraints. "No!!"

They laugh at you and the bucking of your hips against empty air. You find yourself being manhandled once again, your tummy pressed against the mattress with your ass high in the air. Instead of Azriel's cock springing in front of your face its' Cass'.

Not needing any instructions, you take him into your mouth. You feel Cassian twitch against your tongue.

"See what a good girl she is, Cass? Come on. She deserves to come." the High Lord runs his hand along your flank, giving the globes of your ass a small squeeze. "Accidentally" slipping his thumb past your pussy lips.

Just to show Cassian what a good girl you were, you swallow more of his girth down your throat and hum. The vibrations that jolt up his cock has Cassian jerking his hips with a groan and threading his fingers into your hair. Rolling his head back, Cassian feels the walls of your throat tighten.

Through the warming of his face, Cassian trains his eyes back on your face.

"I think to sweeten the general up, perhaps our good girl should make the general come." You barely hear Azriel's smooth voice over the pounding of blood vessels in your ears. The entirety of the bottom of your face is covered in your own saliva and Cassian's precum. Your breathing was labored as you even struggled to inhale through your nose. Determination burning you up from the inside as you enjoy Cassian's cacophony of moans. Fueling the inferno in your core that has you wantonly feverish.

Obscenities made up of wet gagging noises coming from you and Cassian's own erratic growls fill Rhysand's master bedroom.

If anyone were to walk by outside-

"Don't think of that." Lightly scolds Rhysand. "There is no world except for the one in this room." His tongue licks from your clit to your perineum making you shiver and moan with your mouth full of Cassian.

There's a tug from Cassian's hand in your hair, pulling you back to the present matter at hand. He grinds his hips against your face. You're more than happy to forget about any sense of decorum or shame.

Your thoughts please Rhysand as he practically purrs against your pussy before he starts a full on make-out session with your lower lips. Your pitiable moans that send pleasurable quivers through Cassian's cock was enough to have his grip tighten in warning before shoving you off. Immediately follows the ribbon of cum shooting from his tip

"F-Fff-Fucking good girl" Cass' tone sounds like a curse but his red cheeks and heaving chest told you plenty. In a appreciative gesture, you run your fingers through the tantalizing streak of his happy trail, skating over the ridge of his cum gutters and up the mountain of abs.

It's all you can do as Rhysand spears that exquisite tongue of into your pussy while also stimulating your clit.

Alright, the general has spoken, sweetling. I'll give you a big reward.

Rhysand makes sure to keep his hands attentive to your messy, wet pussy when he pulls his face away. From the mess you left on his hands, Rhys uses it to coat his cock and and gently taps the tip against your entrance.

All the while Cassian brushes a few strands of hair out of your face before cupping it in his massive, callused hands. He always held you like you were a fragile egg. Intently watching every twitch of your face as Rhysand slowly pushes the blunt end of his cock into you. Inch by inch, he sheathes his member; like a sword with its scabbard. Your mouth parts, forming a soft 'o' shape as you feel your gummy walls accommodate his girth. For even Rhysand its a snug fit but being patient rewards him. Strong hands keep your hips in place.

Need to make sure I stretch you out a little before you take Az.

You're surprised you have a bit of your whits with you as you numbly think Where is Az?

"I'm right here, princess." Azriel sits on the bed once again, this time matching everyone else's nudity.

Again you're taken aback by how truly lucky you are when you gaze at Azriel and Cassian with half-lidded eyes. Cassian was already at half-mast in a matter of seconds thanks to the way your tits bounced when Rhysand fluidly slid his cock in and out. The powerful lines that composed their physique. Each muscle a testament to the trials and tribulations they have survived through. Your mates.

"Yes." He picks up his pace while swiping his thumb over your clit. "We're all your's sweetling." Heat radiating off of Rhysand makes your back start to sweat. Especially when he leans his forehead to press against your shoulder as he nearly folds over you, his thrusts becoming more animalistic as he neared the pinnacle of his own pleasure.

It's ridiculous how hard Rhysand can make you come. Overwhelming that your own small body could hardly contain it in your physical vessel. You can't help the tears that warm the backs of your eyes as you feel a thousand stars burst from inside of you. Stardust blurs your vision as your pussy walls clamp down on Rhysand mercilessly in your orgasm.

You're grateful that Rhysand solely is keeping you up. Your own body fails you as muscles spasm and every bare inch of you grows overly sensitive to Rhys' tightening grip.

Searing heat fills your core. The only sign that Rhysand has reached his climax as well besides the vicious bites he leaves all over your shoulders.

Your boys laugh when you face plant into the mattress, a heaving mess already and Cassian nor Azriel have had their fun yet. You will your arms to lift you up.

Red faced Rhysand takes pity on you and wraps one arm around your midsection to help you at least sit up enough to focus on the other two males whose chest are heaving just as much as yours'. Azriel's pupils have swelled till they took over his natural eye color. They'd look terrifying if it weren't for their raging cocks.

Well. . . the sight of those impressive members were slightly terrifying but also thrilling. Surprised when you felt your sticky pussy clench with need. Spoiled your cunt had become. Utterly spoiled by your three indulgent mates.

Cauldron grant you strength.

"Az and Cass will take care of you while I get you some water." Rhysand breathily tells you as he attempts to catch his own breath. You pout slightly when he moves to leave. He kisses your lips to placate the pout. "I'll be back. You'll be good. Won't you?"

"Always." You beam up at him. It has Rhysand melting, debating on staying and sending for one of the wraiths to fetch you water, but he knew you loathe the idea of anyone hearing your moans besides your mates.

With another promise of being prompt, Rhysand takes a second to at least put some pants on before leaving the room.

That's when Cassian unexpectedly pounces on you, pushing you back down against the mattress as you squeal your surprise. His lips are all over you, nips and kisses alike.

"Remember, we have to wait for Rhys." Azriel pipes up much to Cassian's chagrin as he shoots the spymaster a tampered down glare. While he's not too bothered with waiting, that doesn't mean he wasn't going to play around with you a little bit.

"Yeah yeah I know." Cass grins, his face leans down to hover over your tits before he takes on in his mouth. His teeth gently tug at your nipple making you warble. He hollows out his cheeks to give it a good suckle. "You'd probably do with a good tit sucking, Az." Comments Cassian once he removes his lips with a loud 'pop' noise.

"Then quit hogging them." Grins Azriel and pushes his brother's face away from your chest. Actually he nearly shoves Cassian off of you in his haste to latch his lips around your pert and abused bud. Imprints of Cassian's front teeth could be made out on the delicate skin of your breasts. Cassian doesn't put up a fight and watches Azriel swiftly clamber atop of you.

His giant wings block out the rest of the room, encasing you so that you could only focus on the spymaster.

He slithers down onto his tummy, his face making a slow ascent to your tits. Biting at the undersides, soft and tender and already baring red marks from Cassian's previous nibbling. Azriel's palm goes to cup at your heated pussy, still slick from your orgasm and leaking even more now with their touches.

You grind against his bare hand, absolutely drooling at the deep growl that rolls through him when you do so. Feel your lower lips spread against his palm, Azriel lets out another debauched groan that was now being muffled thanks to your nipple in his mouth.

Wrapping your arms around Azriel's head, you pull him closer to your chest and weave your fingers into his dark hair. In response his suckling becomes louder, the sensation shooting a thrill to your pussy. You coo praises with your head thrown back and your legs wrapping around Azriel's waist.

"Uh-uh sweetheart." Azriel lifts his face when he feels you trying to wiggle onto his cock. "Cassian has to stretch you out next."

"I've taken you before though. I can do it without any prep." Complaining, you're basically whimpering when Azriel peels himself completely off of you. You want to bite your tongue off for even saying anything.

"Looks like she's about to have a tantrum." Teases Rhysand when he opens the bedroom door to slink back in, but it was true. Azriel had worked you back up and now you were in need of another cock inside of you.

At least he's able to stop your pouting when you hands you water. You didn't realize how parched you were until the first splash of cold water hits your tongue. Guzzling it down, you're not paying attention to your bat boys having a silent conversation. One that you were not allowed in on.

Rhysand winks. Distracting you from Cassian sneaking up and lifting you high up onto his shoulders, smashing his face right into your pussy. Your fingers claw at his shoulders for stability as you feel yourself teeter to and fro.

"Cass!" Squealing, you can't enjoy his tongue fucking into you since you're doing your best to not fall.

Doesn't help when you can feel the vibrations of Cassian's low chuckle.

Its hard to forget just how powerful your mates are. Reminded consistently by their massive muscles. Cassian's hands never quivered in holding you up above his face.

You shiver and go slack jawed.

There you go.

Shadows help you to steady yourself on Cassian's hands, giving him your absolute trust.

When he's satisfied with how wet you are, Cassian slowly moves you down onto his lap. Each inch of him you took in, you let out sweet little cries. Lewd squelches emit from your singing pussy, Azriel and Rhysand watch with rapt attention at the general's cock splitting you open.

Your high lord nudges at his spymaster.

Azriel obeys and right in the middle of a cry provoked by a particularly hard thrust on Cassian's end, Azriel shoves his cock into your wide open mouth. The back of your throat is punched by the tip of Azriel's cock, enticing your gag reflex to choke you. Corners of your mouth ache when your lips have to widen even more in order to take Azriel's fat dick. Your eyes burn with dewey tears and a silver string of saliva dribbles down your chin.

Cassian continues to fuck you harder and your muffled cries has Azriel's spine tingling and his cock twitching in your mouth as his hips continue to thrust in and out.

Even with Cassian supporting all of your weight, you find your thighs trembling and hips quaking every smack of Cassian's pelvis meeting your ass.

Surprisingly, Azriel's own rhythm matched that of Cassian's. They really did plan this out. Impressive.

"We had to plan things out. You could get hurt otherwise." Rhysand replies. He couldn't explain the immense arousal it gave him to watch his brothers spitroast you. To watch the veins in your throat bulge and your red face streaked as pleasure induced tears slip down your cheeks. Quite the sight to behold and the most beautiful image in the world to Rhys.

The same time your head was bobbing, so was your ass as Cassian lets out possessive growls that outwardly had him appearing vicious. Cass' grip on your thighs told him otherwise, it was one of assured strength that he would not let you fall.

He knew you always thought yourself to be the lucky one in the relationship. Lucky to brag of your three strong mates that could rule all of Prythian's courts if they developed the taste for it.

In all honesty, they were the ones who felt like the luckiest bastards.

A mate wasn't something they ever thought would be bestowed to them. Blood trailed behind them. Brutal childhood years that physically and mentally scarred them for life.

You were their reward for all those horrible years.

And he couldn't imagine sharing you with anyone else but his lifelong friends that were basically brothers to him.

You're slapped across the face as another climax seizes control of your limbs. Spasming against Cassian's face that was now utterly demolished by your slick that gave his lips a shiny glaze.

You don't give Azriel an opportunity to pull his member out of your mouth before he too is creaming against your tongue. Thick, long ropes that coats your esophagus.

Abruptly, Azriel rips his cock out of your mouth as Cassian flips you onto your back and with one hand, holds your knee ditch in place and truly pounds into your pussy that had your tits bouncing uncontrollably from the velocity. He's smacking your wet, overly sensitive clit using the flat of his fingers. You shriek, feeling your back swallowed up by the mattress below you. Cassian could crush all of your bones and you wouldn't give a flying fuck in that minute.

With one last, devastating thrust, Cassian spills his warmth into you.

Giving yourselves extra time to come down from yet another post-coital high, Cassian slips out from you and gently places your legs back down. He pats your flank like you're a brood mare. "Atta girl."

Unable to conjure the energy to laugh, instead you wheeze out a scoff and half-heartedly swat at his arm.

He casts Rhysand and Azriel a teasing grin. "She's ready."

Azriel, your usually sweet and gentle Azriel suddenly has a predatory glint in his eyes. "Spread her."

Working together, Rhysand and Cassian grab hold of one leg each; parting them so Azriel can lewdly examine his prey.

"Look at this." Azriel hums and swipes his finger along the slit of your pussy, collecting a bit of Cassian's cum on his index finger. "Already stuffed. I wonder if my cock can even fit in there with both Rhys' and Cass' cum."

Despite your heated blush that made you dizzy, your lips quirk up. "The only way to find out is to try."

With all of the mixed liquids coating your cunt, it was pretty easy for Azriel to slide half of his cock into you. The rest he eased in with a few rocks of his hips. A growl that comes from the pit of his stomach is ripped out of Azriel, his wings flaring out when he takes you. His brothers continue to possess a secure hold on your thighs as their eyes focus in on the contorting features of your face.

The pressure of his cock is enough to pin you down. Overwhelming even but you'd taken his shaft before and you were determined to do it again.

In order to do so, you will your body into complete, ragdoll obedience that relaxes your entire body; even the death grip the walls of your cunt had on Azriel. It garnered him more wiggle room to start bullying his cock further into you.

Rhys actually breathes out a soft laugh "Wow. . . is that what being 'cock drunk' looks like?"

Cassian groans and using his free hand begins to fist his dick. "Cock drunk on Az's cock, princess?"

Unable to laugh, instead Az's lips twitched into a grin; one of his hands roam to stroke your cheek. You're thoughtlessly nodding along to whatever Cassian was saying. All you understood were the two words "Az's" and "cock".

For a second, you really do fear that Azriel will split you in half when his length pushes past the sensitive roof of your pussy and rams its head against your cervix.

Each love tap had your toes curling inward and your eyes rolling back.

Another?

Greedy girl. Do you even know how many times you've come?

You squeal, hips meeting Azriel's in perfect synchronicity. They can taunt you all they wanted. As much as they made you cock drunk, the three of them were completely pussy whipped.

In retaliation Rhysand gives your nipple a harsh tug. "You'll pay for that later, sweetling."

Exhausted was an understatement.

All four of you lay in a disgusting heap of limbs and collective sweat. Half of Cassian's body hung off the edge of the bed. He didn't mind. At least he was able to cool off even his foot was basically touching the ground and put a few inches between himself and Azriel. You lay between the spymaster and the high lord. Waters were retrieved after the fun was officially over.

Now you lay with your mates sated and unspeakably happy.

Your inner musings have Rhysand smiling. He turns your face toward him using but his fingers on your chin. "We live to make you happy." Rhysand languidly kisses you, enjoying the flavor upon your lips. A combination of everyone's juices. They would help you get to the bath. Eventually.

"I'm taking it the princess was satisfied?" Cheekily grinned Cassian.

You laugh though it costs your body to wince in slight discomfort. "Yes. If you didn't notice, I quite enjoyed myself."

Azriel nuzzles his nose along the length of your neck. Mentally you make a note that you'd have to visit the dressmaker so that they could alter your gowns to make them cover your neck and chest. Without context, many would assume the red marks all over your body was a sign of disease. Showing up to a professional meeting with hickeys all over your body wouldn't bode well either.

"Lets try double penetration next time!" Chimes Cassian.

Mother be good, these boys were certainly going to be the death of you.

@enchantingcupcakecollectionfan @a-courtof-azriel

[lizzy06]

Atsumu Miya x Reader Fic Recs!!

(Tumblr/AO3/Wattpad)

Haikyuu! Fic Rec Masterlist

Inarizaki Fic Rec Masterlist

A Debt Repaid✨ by matchumu (oneshot, sibling love)"Just keep the money." Atsumu repeats. "Don't think of it as a charity. Just think of it as a debt repaid."It was Miya Atsumu who bought the first Onigiri Miya store. [COMPLETED]

a world without you by my side by farozaan (oneshot, happy ending, waking up in alternate au, time travel) He wanted just a single day without his brother all around him. That would be paradise. Miya Osamu makes a wish and regrets it. [COMPLETED]

shrimply in love ✨ by @caelivir (oneshot, fluff) atsumu wholeheartedly prayed that you forgot how you first met, and for a while he believed that you did. that is until he finds the literal token from that day.[COMPLETED]

MSBY! Soulmate x Reader by @watevermelon (oneshot, fluff, slight angst to fluff, mutual pinning)You knew all about his personality, whether through the rumor vine or the numerous warnings your friends gave you. But there was no avoiding it - he was your soulmate after all .[COMPLETED]

The Boy Next door by @quirrrky (neighbors, humor, enemies to lovers, fake dating, friends to lovers) Your new neighbor is everything you’ll never ask for. Your life starts changing for better and for worse when Miya Atsumu rents the apartment next to you. The most unfortunate part? Everything about him. With his annoying good looks and equally irritating charm, how can you not resist the boy next door? [HIATUS??] <this is a lovely fic but has not been updated in a while, but I am still putting it up here !!>

In Screaming Color✨ by moonmayhem (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)A soulmate AU where, if you dye your hair, your soulmate's hair changes as well. [COMPLETED]

an epilogue of sorts by mooshys (oneshot, fluff, humor)Atsumu wants to prove that he definitely knows his way around the kitchen by opting to cook dinner for you to celebrate your one year anniversary together. Thing is, he needs a little help if he wants to impress you tonight.[COMPLETED]

Shower Friends ✨✨by just_j(fake dating, enemies to lovers, fluff, angst)The dorm you live in has co-ed bathrooms. Why that’s even remotely a good idea is beyond you; and recently, your precious shower time is being interrupted by a certain blonde haired setter for the volleyball team. And when he lies to his teammates that he has a girlfriend, somehow you get roped into his scheme to convince them he does. [COMPLETED]

A Genius mess by @mimi-cee-hq (oneshot, fluff)Atsumu insults you, the quietest girl in his class. But as he gets to know you, your few words often leave him blushing.[COMPLETED]

(un)loving miya atsumu✨✨ by alicemitch09(angst, Unrequited love, Jealousy, Happy ending)You were 9 when you first met the Miya twins when you moved to Hyogo. The two boys would eventually turn to be your closest friends, as much as rascals the two can be. you loved one twin more than the other - a love that was more than friendship. Sadly, Atsumu obviously loved your big sister more. Of course he did, she was everything you were not.[COMPLETED]

incomplete song ✓✨ | angst, post break up | one shot | by @tooruluv

Hecklin' ✨by Airomi (fluff, humor) according to your experience, bothering someone so much that they fall in love. [COMPLETED]

Call You Mine [Miya Atsumu X Reader] by tsumusamu(friends to lovers, fluff, angst, mutual pinning)Being in unrequited love with your best friend sucks. It's even worse when the friend you're in love with is Miya Atsumu. [ONGOING]

That's My Girl by wttcsms(oneshot, smut) Atsumu Miya gets jealous.[COMPLETED]

Jealous atsumu ✨ by @etherrreal (oneshot, fluff, comfort)atsumu swears he’s not the jealous type, until the pictures you post with his brother prove him wrong.[COMPLETED]

little changes ✨by kuroopaisen (enemies to friend to lovers, past roommates )Miya Atsumu is the bane of your existence. but, that means different things at different times of your life.[COMPLETED]

Mind Boggling Pt 1, Pt 2✨ by @seokiloquy (soulmate au, fluff, humor)At particular times (Once a year/ certain age/ hours/ or randomly) soulmates swap bodies for some time.[COMPLETED]

“These Words”  by @myhaikyuuthings (oneshot, soulmate au, angst)soulmate au your soulmates last words ever said are on your body, they turn red when said, first words ever said to you are on another part of your body, they turn gold when said.[COMPLETED]

with our fates tangled together by @chunhua (oneshot, angst to fluff) soulmates are bound together by a red string.[COMPLETED]

Unexpectedly yours by @love-nishinoya-yu (Soulmate au, oneshot) You have the same tattoos.[COMPLETED]

nice receive✨   by @tsumusamu (oneshot, fluu, humor) eight months into your relationship, atsumu takes you to meet his family. things don’t go as planned, but of course, everything ends up alright in the end anyway. alternatively, miya atsumu adores you and his family thinks it’s easy to see why.[COMPLETED]

I’m Here, So Sleep by @dokifluffs (oneshot, fluff, comfort) Warnings: anxiety towards school and life, overthinking, insomnia. [COMPLETED]

Set the Bar High by BeansNCornbread(enemies to lovers, fluff, smut, angst)A college AU where you work at an off campus bar and when Atsumu finds this out, he never leaves you alone. Classic enemies to lovers storyline with serendipity, snide comments, and a whole lot of sexual tension.[COMPLETED]

you're not the one✨ ✨ by heartcondemned (fake dating, strangers to lovers, fluff and angst) How to make your lifelong crush jealous and like you back? Easy.Fake date one of his friends. [COMPLETED]

So...What do Ya say? by @yourstarvic After finding your fiancé you have been with many years cheating on your best friend. You tried to confront them but they never showed up…So what do you do? You drink at the bar trying to figure out what to do. And who else there to help you if not the good looking stranger you met at the bar? [COMPLETED]

Email Me Why✨ by @yourstarvic(oneshot, fluff, humor)Atsumu needs to come up with the perfect email to go on a date with his captain's little sister. [COMPLETED]

You okay? by @yourstarvic (oneshot, angst) It's your wedding day, atsumu is sad. [COMPLETED]

lazy texter by myhugelove (fluff, humor, online friends to lovers) a short fic in which a schoolmate who is not on his phone much suddenly becomes great at texting when it comes to you. [COMPLETED]

you found me✨ by Amy_stark117(fluff, angst, eventual smut)Miya Atsumu had his life goals set - volleyball, fame, and success. Nothing could stand in his way. You threw all that out the window, simply by sitting next to him in class. [COMPLETED]

7 Reasons by Channelei(mutual pinning, fluff, humor)in which you realize why you fell in love with your hot headed, over-confident, cocky, arrogant asshole of a best friend.[COMPLETED]

then the moment came by @justauthoring (oneshot, soulmate au, loosely based of silent voice) It just never was the right time. Not then, not later, until it suddenly is and everything’s… different.[COMPLETED]

Diligence ✨by kaientai (friends to lovers, childhood friends, requited unrequited love) Diligence requires the courage of a fool who wouldn't think twice before walking into an open flame, and in the span of a few months, your childhood friend Atsumu proved that he truly is one of the biggest fools to date. [COMPLETED]

Forget me,too ✨ by @saintobio (oneshot, angst, hurt/comfort, past lovers) after a series of broken promises and unresolved arguments, perhaps all atsumu needed is to hear you say good bye for one last time.[COMPLETED]

sweetner ✨ by flying_raijin(fake dating, fluff, angst, humor)you're just being petty. Faking a relationship with the first guy in sight after the love of your life dumps you out of nowhere? [COMPLETED]

How He Shows You Affection by @jayeray-hq(oneshot, fluff)[COMPLETED]

He’s My Best Friend by @jayeray-hq(oneshot, fluff)[COMPLETED]

White noise ✨ by 1keshi(childhood friends, friends to lovers, slowburn, fluff, angst) you force a therapist to listen to the story of how you fell in love with your childhood friend, because what else are you supposed to do? [COMPLETED]

A Bit Yours ✨by Declaraso (fake dating, enemies to lovers, humor) Atsumu's clumsy with words. You think he's a jerk. But for some reason, you both agreed to go through such a stupid plan.[COMPLETED]

The Breaking Point✨ by melremade(smut, oneshot)They say there’s a thin line between love and hate. When it comes to Miya Atsumu, it might as well be a brick wall topped with barbed wire and surrounded by a minefield. [COMPLETED]

Perfect Union by wttcsms(oneshot, fluff, smut, friends to lovers)[COMPLETED]

Laws of Motion by miyachondria (friends to lovers, slowburn)First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage -- according to every other person.[ONGOING]

(1) One Missed Call by satorini (teetorini)(smut)You work for an anonymous phone sex business on campus, and you would have never guessed that your first client would be the Atsumu Miya—most popular guy on campus who sits three seats ahead of you in calculus. And you're pretty sure he doesn't even know you exist. [ONGOING]

One Day by flying_raijin()When you get asked by Vogue Japan to be the star of their "Day in the life of a Pro Volleyball player" video, you agree because you don't think there's much that could go wrong. Unfortunately, your boyfriend is an absolute menace, and decides to act as such for the whole world to see.[COMPLETED]

FWB by flying_siphonophore(fluff, smut, angst, mutual pinning)What comes after a kiss that shouldn't have happened in the first place?[COMPLETED]

lovestruck, watching over you by strawberricream(fluff, mutual pinning)in your second year of high school, you catch atsumu’s eye. he tries to get to know you when he realizes that it didn’t take much work to open you up. in your third year together in the same class, he realizes that the hard work came from elsewhere.[COMPLETED]

Storm Chaser by sunmoonstarsrain()Being with Miya Atsumu is like chasing a storm - equal parts exhilaration and danger. After all, it's impossible to tame a storm.[COMPLETED]

A Second Chance by Gremlin_Lord (Unplanned pregnancy, angst, fluff) Atsumu broke up with you 3 years ago. But fate had other plans and decided to reunite the two together with your kid along. [ONGOING]

[starglow-xx]

star's blue lock fic recs!

below the links are my own personal notes with a short plot blurb! a heart means it’s one of my personal faves! (but actually i just love all these fics so, so much)

im a heavy isagi simp so rn it's basically all him oops but i'll eventually add my fave fics for other characters too hehe

want more fic recs? see fic rec master list post here! all fic masterlists will be updated randomly!

✧.* Challenge Accepted : ̗̀➛ ao3 link

ᰔᩚ isagi yoichi you are a star

ᰔᩚ in which isagi is used as a chess piece for the jfa for more money and views by placing him in an exhibition match against ichinan high school with a certain someone taking his old spot as forward.

OR in which isagi yoichi proves he isn't just a lucky shot

ᰔᩚ status: complete! 3 chapters & 17,021 words

💗 More Than A Memory : ̗̀➛ ao3 link

ᰔᩚ sobbing over little isagi he's the cutest thing i just wanna pinch his little cheeks :(

ᰔᩚ isagi gets to meet his idol noel noa on his birthday and everything comes full circle 10 years later

ᰔᩚ bonus! the blue lock boys find out it's isagi birthday and chaos breaks loose as isagi and noel noa have a heart to heart

ᰔᩚ status: complete! one shot with 7,107 words

✧.* A Reason to Celebrate : ̗̀➛ ao3 link

ᰔᩚ isagi yoichi you are so, so loved & deserve nothing but the best

ᰔᩚ in which ego lets everyone know it's their favorite striker's birthday

ᰔᩚ status: complete! one shot with 6,371 words

💗 That's My Ego : ̗̀➛ ao3 link

ᰔᩚ AKSSVNSL i adore this fic sm, they're so cute i cannot

ᰔᩚ blue lock with a fem! isagi! some others are gender bent too but see fic for more hehe

ᰔᩚ sports with shoujo! follows the blue lock plot but has hints of romance as a side (?) plot mwah mwah

ᰔᩚ status: incomplete ; last updated april 19, 2023 ; 16 chapters & 85,024 words

💗💗💗 Butterfly Flutterby : ̗̀➛ ao3 link (but can also be found on quotev!)

ᰔᩚ this fic has my heart 10/10, i always reread ; i will never not recommend this fic, it’s honestly one of my faves of all time ; still patiently waiting for the next update :((

ᰔᩚ fem reader insert! the interactions with the blue lock boys are always so cute and so is mc i wanna squish her (our??) cheeks (author refers to her as rea-chan in the notes so sometimes i read it as an oc fic teehee)

ᰔᩚ mc gets chosen to be a manager for the blue lock program, competing alongside other managers facing risk of elimination like the boys

ᰔᩚ slight hints of romance/possible pairings but very minimal ; focus for now is being friends/a good manager

ᰔᩚ status: incomplete ; last updated march 19, 2023 ; 12 chapters & 64,042 words

ISAGI YOICHI

✧.* Hometown Hero : ̗̀➛ ao3 link

ᰔᩚ need more fics abt reuniting with isagi post blue lock bc man the angst potential is great :(

ᰔᩚ fem! reader where mc and isagi, her childhood friend, reunite but he's a bit different than how she remembered him

ᰔᩚ some angst but has a happy ending!

ᰔᩚ status: complete! one shot with 2,862 words

✧.* Fake It 'til We Make It : ̗̀➛ ao3 link

ᰔᩚ fake dating! do i need to say more

ᰔᩚ no pronouns! gender neutral reader!

ᰔᩚ a bit of angst but happy ending! :D

ᰔᩚ status: complete! one shot with 3,270 words

💗💗 if i had a choice : ̗̀➛ tumblr link

ᰔᩚ crying bc i want isagi to want me too :((

ᰔᩚ post u-20 match! fem! reader reuniting with isagi having already accepted soccer takes priority in his life right now

ᰔᩚ angst with a happy ending!

ᰔᩚ status: complete! one shot

💗 happily always after : ̗̀➛ tumblr link

ᰔᩚ ASDSVN i wanna marry isagi :(

ᰔᩚ a misunderstanding regarding a proposal causes you to distance yourself a little

ᰔᩚ hurt/comfort with a happy ending!

ᰔᩚ status: complete! one shot

💗💗 home visits : ̗̀➛ tumblr link

ᰔᩚ he's literally so sweet im going to die, isagi marry me pls :((

ᰔᩚ where you visit isagi's parents at his house and seeing some baby photos make you think of the future

ᰔᩚ fluffy fluff fluff, you'll get a tooth ache

ᰔᩚ status: complete! one shot

💗💗 as close as strangers : ̗̀➛ tumblr link

ᰔᩚ ASNVLS oh to have a meet cute with isagi yoichi :(

ᰔᩚ you go with you sister to a bar to meet her newest boy toy but end up getting rescued by a stranger when you get some unwanted attention

ᰔᩚ fluff fluff isagi yoichi pls marry me

ᰔᩚ status: complete! one shot with 1.4k words

[daynascullys]

TRIED & TRUE: An MSR Playlist ⤷ Part Three: All Things

Oh, love, let me see inside your heart. All the cracks and broken parts, the shadows in the light... there's no need to hide.

playlist / songs ↘

FALLING SLOWLY by Steve Kazee & Cristin Milioti / It's probably no surprise that this song is on here since it's one of my all-time favorite songs, but I'm putting it here anyway because it's just SO GOOD. It has one of my all-time favorite lyrics—"you have suffered enough and warred with yourself; it's time that you won"—which is so good to think about in the context of your favorite OTP. I know Mulder and Scully would feel that about each other (and, let's be real, we all feel that about them). And even though they fell for each other the minute they met, it was also a reeeeal slow burn.

CRASHING DOWN by Elyse Myers / I'm way too delighted by the juxtaposition of "falling slowly" in love with love coming "crashing down" on them, but it's somehow both things at once so I stand by it. This was an immediate MSR song for me, it just felt so fitting. "The very first time I heard your voice, it was lightning to my soul / You said my name and looked me in the eye / that was all I needed to know about your love / It came crashing down on me" felt perfect for their first meeting, and THEN!!!! Immediately after that: "I didn't know then what I know now, but even if I did, I wouldn't change a single thing / I would do it all again for your love / to feel it crashing over me." My mind immediately went to "even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day." And then this part?? "The very first time we disagreed"—cough, the very first meeting—"I was learning about you still / Your head is strong and your heart is fierce / You don't give up, you never will on your love / It still crashes down on me." Anyway this song is MSR and nothing will ever change my mind.

HUNGER by Ross Copperman / First I must shout out one of my favorite x-files tweets because the horniness is definitely a piece of associating "hunger" with MSR (lol) but beyond that... this song! MSR! AH!! The verses especially make me think of them: "one look and I can't catch my breath / two souls into one flesh / when you're not next to me, I'm incomplete" and "oh, love, let me see inside your heart / all the cracks and broken parts / the shadows in the light / there's no need to hide." And then there's the palpable want between them—"I'm on fire like a thousand suns / I couldn't put it out even if I wanted to."

ARMS by Christina Perri / I know this was so overplayed, but again, hear me out—this is soooo them. The lyrics are so beautiful and fit them both so well: "I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown" and "I hope that you see right through my walls / I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling / I'll never let a love get so close / you put your arms around me and I'm home" and "the world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved / I never wanna leave you, but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone" and again, "you put your arms around me and I'm home." And just thinking about the way Scully feels safe enough to let Mulder hold her and how Mulder collapse into Scully and lets her hold him even though she's so little! The fact that she can be his home!! AND and and when she says "can you hold me?" I AM SCREAMING!!!!

CEILINGS by Lizzy McAlpine / This is entirely because of this beautiful video that I watched and could never get out of my head. I will never not think of them and these scenes that fit so beautifully (rain in the pilot, the parallel between them in hotel rooms). Also, even though "touch me like nobody else does" implies sex in the song, I love thinking about how it goes beyond that for Scully and Mulder—they truly touch each other in so many ways that nobody else does, literally and metaphorically.

WONDERFUL UNKNOWN by Ingrid Michaelson / This song is a long time favorite of mine, but I love finding new reasons to cry about it... and MSR certainly did that! I think this can be applied at most stages of their relationship, but it especially makes me think of the unremarkable house. This song speaks to so much of the simplicity of love ("we make bread on Sundays and the little ones are climbing up the walls / nothing last forever but the sound of love astounds me every time that it calls") and it just makes me think of MSR living a totally unremarkable life basking in each other's love (which is exactly what happens, right?). Also... "in the best way, you'll be the death of me."

RANGERS by A Fine Frenzy / This is a song that has inexplicably been one of my favorites for a long time (inexplicably because usually I relate more to the lyrics if it's a favorite), so perhaps it was just meant to be on an Emily MSR playlist. This is another song that reminds me of the unremarkable house, especially in I Want to Believe. "They'll keep seeking but they won't find us / Let's keep living our quiet lives, you and I." I'm also going to cheat and say I consider this song to be a bit of a companion to "Come On, Come Out" and "You Picked Me" (from the same album which I think I could argue is itself an MSR album) and perhaps you should listen to those too... but I was trying to keep this a reasonable length lmao. "Come On, Come Out" reminds me of a couple comments in the show (specifically, settling for a life on this planet and looking for life elsewhere) and feels like what Mulder and Scully do for each other throughout the show in both a literal and metaphorical sense. "You Picked Me" is one of my favorite love songs (platonic and romantic) and also very MSR.

TRUE BLUE by boygenius / I must give credit where credit is due: @emmiebea and @scullysconstant each sent this song to me, both about MSR but independently of one another... which I decided is a sign. And it is suuuch an MSR song!! Plus I find it delightful that there's a lyric about being born in July because that's when I was born. But back to the MSR of it all: "and it feels good to be known so well / I can't hide from you like I hide from myself" is soooo them and reminds me of the the fourth gif in this set—the idea that they know each other better than anyone else and can decode each other in a way that's just so specific to them. And then it goes on: "I remember who I am when I'm with you / your love is tough, your love is tried and true blue." My constant, my touchstone, my friend, my one in five billion... they are so fully themselves when they're together!!!! I also am forever screaming about Mulder using the phrase "true blue" in "Kitsunegari." I have no idea what to do with that information, but it matters to me.

YOU WILL FIND ME by Alex & Sierra / I liked the idea of putting "I can't hide from you like I hide from myself" before a song called "You Will Find Me." They always find each other when they're missing, whether they're physically missing or searching for some part of themselves. "You leave me room for my imperfections / when I'm a mess and you jump right in / if I drift in the wrong direction / you turn the tide and you calm the wind / anytime, everytime I get lost / you will find me."

TIMELESS by Taylor Swift / Speaking of finding each other... "I believe that we were supposed to find this / so even in a different life / you still would've been mine / we would've been timeless" and "sometimes there's no proof, you just know / you're always gonna be mine." I will never ever get over the "even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day" and "we'd been friends together, in other lifetimes, always" of it all.

SATELLITE CALL by Sara Bareilles / A few weeks ago during an ask game I said this is a song I would want to put on a playlist for both Scully and Mulder, so here we are. It's one of my personal favorite songs and one that means a lot to me and it's a message I would want to give them, but I also think this is a message they would want to give each other. And if you really want to hurt, think about it during an abduction arc or literally just any time they don't know where the other is, even for a minute (because these two are insane and it doesn't even need to be a full-on abduction arc). "This was written for the one to blame / one who believes they are the cause of chaos in everything" and "this is so you'll know the sound of someone who loves you from the ground / tonight you're not alone at all / this is me sending out my satellite call." I have always loved this song because of the imagery—the idea that no matter where you are, how alone you feel, how dark the night, I am here for you, I am sending out my satellite call to you so you know I am here and you are not alone. So take that and add it to Scully and Mulder thinking of each other when they can't physically be together and trying to be the other person's source of strength and comfort aaaand yeah. (I am also going to cheat with this song and say "I Choose You" is another Sara Bareilles song that should be on here and only isn't because I was trying to be reasonable with length, but the reason I chose this song "Satellite Call" is because it feels more unique to them—the idea of a satellite call is just especially fitting for MSR in a way that it might not be for other couples, at least to me, because satellites, little green men, all that. But this is me saying that "I Choose You" is unofficially on this list as well because I love that song and it fits them so well.)

NO BIG DEAL (I LOVE YOU) by dodie / Another @emmiebea choice that I just had to include. There are two very different ways I think of this song, but I think they both make sense for MSR. I paired it with "Satellite Call" because of the wordlessness of both songs. "You hold me like it's already said / I don't mind, I will do this dance for the rest of my life / for as long as you want." Even though it is a big deal (especially for MSR), I feel like this song fits them so well because it also isn't a big deal—their love for one another is so obvious, so matter-of-fact, that in many ways it doesn't feel like it needs to be said. It's just there. So they act like it's already been said and like it's okay. But there's the other side of this song as well (the one that I think is how most people would read it/what it more clearly is about), the part that's acknowledging why it hasn't been said (and that it needs to be explicitly said)—they're acting like it's no big deal because they both know it is. They're afraid and telling themselves it's no big deal, they just love each other. Which is soooo much of their relationship. But I think the paradox adds to the depth of this song—they're kidding themselves that it's no big deal, but it also is no big deal. It's so natural that to make it a big deal feels almost disingenuous, in a way. It's both. I could get caught in this forever because this song lives so beautifully in the grey.

TWO by Sleeping at Last / I will never ever get over this song. It might go on every OTP playlist ever, I don't care, it still fits so well and is so them! "You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat" and "No, I don't want to talk about myself / tell me where it hurts / I just want to build you up, build you up / 'til you're good as new / and maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too" and "I just want to love you, love you, love you well / I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself" and "like a force to be reckoned with / a mighty ocean or a gentle kiss / I will love you without any strings attached / and what a privilege it is to love / a great honor to hold you up."

I WANNA LOVE YOU FOREVER by Kate Vogel / I love the sweet simplicity of this song and the simple desire to love you forever. I think the whole song fits them so well, but there are also specific lyrics that make me think of them, in particular: "my head fits right on your shoulder, my palm fits right in your hand." Because it's true! They fit together so well!!!!

YOU ARE IN LOVE by Taylor Swift / I loved this song to begin with, of course, but I remember the first time I thought about it after seeing Scully and Mulder and feeling like I was going to combust. It's SOOOO them. "You can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home, you can see it with the lights out—you're in love, true love." And even though I need to remake this, there's a reason I couldn't stop myself from trying! The part that I think about so often, though, is this verse: "one night he wakes / strange look on his face / pauses, then says: you're my best friend / and you knew what it was / he is in love." Because that's what makes me crazy!! They are each other's best friend!!!! They constantly want to be with each other!! They make each other laugh and they love each other so much and I just!! I can't even be normal about this song and explain why I love it for them, I'm just over here crying and becoming more and more incoherent about it!!!! It's fine, I'm fine. I ended on this song because it means the playlist ends with "you're in love, true love. You're in love." And at the end of the day... that's just it. They're in love, true love. [cries forever]

[waltzingwithyourenemyattheball]

PICK A CARD: HOW WILL YOU MEET YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE?

Top Left: 111 ; Top Right: 222; Bottom: 333

Disclaimer:

Take what resonates and leave the rest.

The disclaimer in pinned post applies here too.

No one is allowed to copy my work under any circumstances.

DM for personal readings.

🥀111🥀

You could meet your partner through a woman, (be it a mother, friend) an expressive and creative woman. She could be a  neighbour, married women or someone who has light within them and the ability to spread light, a woman in love with life, could paint or do arts and crafts, could like sewing too. You guys could meet in some class/workshop you both are taking. One of you may not want to be here. You could meet at an art exhibition, museums, while shopping etc. Another possible location is at the park, where you run or jog. Either or both of you are into fitness, if not you will be at the time you meet them and will be taking care of yourself. Definitely at a public place, could be party where they are your friend’s friends, there is dancing, food and things fun, people will be taking among themselves. Happy positive energy, one of you likes to talk. Yes, I am seeing you’ll meet them when you are satisfied and fulfilled with how your life is going, could be 9 months from now. You could also meet them in march or May next year. You are confident, vibing, and they will show up suddenly when you least expect it. First meeting, they’ll notice you for a while before approaching you, they come across flirty, graceful, and put their best foot forward. Definitely a pleasant meeting. The meeting could end up being open-ended, like you may not have set a time to meet again, no one’s asked anyone out on a date, simply exchanged numbers/social media’s. You two might also end up going at the same bakery and meet again. They do have an offer for you but it will take some time before things become official. Don’t be disheartened, this is your future spouse so you guys definitely do end up together. 

Comment ‘111’ to claim.

🌸222🌸

In class, a learning institution, could have meet in school, colleges, coaching centres, any hobby classes you take etc, but you are definitely here to learn and practice. These could be online workshops/certificate classes as well. It took you blood sweat and tears to pay for this course, it is something you have wanted to do for a long time, you know you are good, naturally talented. I am getting Annabeth from Percy Jackson, those vibes. You could meet at a martial arts academy, or even the gym. He is the new guy. Again, someone struggled to get where they are today(at the point you meet them). I am getting the same messages again, learning centre, through teachers too. You might be in the same group/team for projects, paired up together every time. You both will learn together, grow together. You will learn giving people benefit of the doubt, and becoming soft, not always having your guard up. You will be passionate about what you are doing, love is not even on your mind and you’d rather just focus on something else but it will creep up on you slowly, like the sea touches the shore take a step back before merging again, during the course of time the lines will get blurry, from I had dinner with them because practice ran late to ‘Hey, you want to get dinner together?’ With no compulsion of any situation. Slowly you will reach out to them, it will morph into a friendship with a small crush to your partner for life, it’s a slow burn but it’s worth it. 

Comment ‘222’ to claim.

🌻333🌻

It will take a way for your union. Right now you need to develop into your authentic self, become more of yourself and express that. You feel unfulfilled and incomplete, you think finding a partner will solve all things, some of you are up and down the curve, on one day you literally can’t live without your soulmate and are dying for them to magically appear in your life to who cares? I just want to focus on me, my career, and money. There is  loneliness in your heart. I hear that your future spouse is not currently decided which is a good thing, the more you evolve, the more evolved person you will attract as your future spouse. You could meet them during grocery shopping, buy plants, getting your salary, when you are living the life you want to life like in an apartment with many plants, some art, mainly white with pops of color all around. I am seeing Europe for some of you. You could meet them after a life changing decision you took, it could be pack up your bags and move across the world. You will not be staying where you are right now that’s for sure. You are taking a chance on life and loving it. After this everything will start to get better, feel better. You are buying flowers for no reason and getting your chai/coffee, dressing up everyday. Everything is so colourful suddenly, that’s when you meet them. This is a new person, no toxic exes here. You literally are living your best life, laughing, hanging out with friends, genuine happiness, good bed time, someone who can’t wait to wake up to their new life, that is when you’ll know your future spouse is ready to come into your life and they ARE MATCHING YOUR ENERGY.  

Comment ‘333’ to claim.

-

EL TAROT

[chiefcroissantdeanbanana]

[SPOILERS] A Date with Death Bad Ending 2 & Beyond the Bet Bad Ending 7 Observations

I think calling these observations rather than analysis would fit it better, anyway! Enjoy my ramblings again if you do try to read this! Bad Ending 2 (Despondent) and Bad Ending 7 (Forget-me-not) spoilers

DISCLAIMER!! all the things I'm going to say is in my opinion!! I do not claim this as canon or real to the game, just me word-spewing my thoughts! thank you!

From the titles itself: Despondent and Forget-me-not, it's obvious that it's going to stab me in the heart multiple times and even more when I talk about them together hahahahahahahaha (laugh of a deranged croissant person in pain).

See, if you think about it, they really are one of a whole. In more ways than one, if soulmates really do exist, they'd be the prime example. They complete each other, not only in the happy endings but in the bad ones also. If you look at Caspers bad ending, it's where MC dies and he lives, while in MC's bad ending, Casper dies and they live. It's the opposite; they're halves, incomplete without the other.

In Casper's bad ending (Despondent), MC overused their healing powers too much leading to the near extinguishment of their soul, needing Casper to kill them before they disappear completely. After the end credits roll, you see him hugging Azrael and saying that he would never find love like that again, how he'd be alone forever, and that he feels empty.

^ He will ALWAYS remember this. He would never forget them, he promised after all. He promised to never forget them, no matter what happens, because MC wanted to be remembered. It doesn't matter if remembering them would hurt Casper, he loves them too much to even try and THINK about forgetting them, forgetting their talks, their puns, their nickname, their light. It was MC's light that shone through Casper's darkness, and now that he had a taste of that bliss, he could never truly go back without feeling empty; feeling like something is missing from his life. (Do you think seeing MC's pet after the Despondent ending gives him too much pain to look it in the eyes?). As shown before Casper kills MC, he would rather die than do so, because without his sunshine, without his sunflower, without his SUN. his SUNLIGHT. he would die! Honestly, Casper would be better as a sunflower because they always look for the sun and die if they can't find one. Even though Casper might not be dead, without his sunshine, he'd better off been dead anyway. What's life without them? Nothing. Only his memories are the things that'll keep him from going, and yet these memories are also the ones that make it hard for him to get going.

In contrast to MC's bad ending (Forget-me-not), it is quite literally the opposite of Despondent, 5012 made MC FORGET their experiences, quote: "every joke, every message, every time Casper called you sunshine, every time he said I love you", they forgot it all, only leaving behind a deep empty feeling, something that was supposed to be there, but it isn't. they can only wait, and wait, but nothing will happen, nothing will ever happen anymore.

See the parallels? See the similarities? Their bad endings are halves to a whole, even in death they both yearn for each other consciously and subconsciously, feeling empty, like a puzzle without its final piece, because what else are they supposed to do? They found their other half, they were finally complete, and then for destiny to rip them apart? That is cruel. It was fate that they met, and they would rather die trying to be together than let destiny tear them apart. Too bad destiny won. One remembers and one forgets, how truly otherworldly and mortal this situation is~

THIS GOT SO LONG omg I really do talk a lot haha ahaha hajdshfkjsfhjssfhsjsk omfgfhdgkjskhj

[hybbart]

This is perhaps a strange question, but do you have the sketch/lineart/framework/whatever the heck it's called that you use when you draw Tango? I decided I want to learn to draw, and my thought process was, "Ah yes, the easiest way is to try and copy my favourite Tangos cause I know how they look," and it is going... poorly xD.

Alternatively, do you have any advice on how to learn and develop a style, or how to get/keep going?

A reference sheet? I have a couple various ones, though at this point i don't really use a reference unless I need to sample colours, and I'm currently working on a colour reference for myself. Besides the point I suppose... I'll put them at the very bottom of the cut so scroll right past my ramblings if you want to.

As for advice. My advice is do not try developing a style if you are just starting out. style is the last thing that should be on your mind if you're just starting out. Style is something that happens naturally as you grow and learn what you like and get used to your tools, and being able to intentionally create a style is an advanced skill that requires the skill to draw in various styles, strong basics, self-awareness, and proper self-critique.

The rest of this is going to be very incoherent and long winded and backwards so I apologize.

The most important thing to improving is to get over yourself. You need to look at someone else's art and be able to admit it's better than yours or has a quality you wish yours had without that being a statement of self-deprecation. You need to be able to look at your own art and pick out what it is you don't like about it without using it to beat yourself up. You can't improve if you get demotivated by the information required to adjust your course.

If you must, find something in each drawing that you like and focus on learning how to recreate that. If you find yourself with a drawing that you genuinely find nothing you like about it you stop drawing and restart, because that drawing is worthless to you once you recognize that. Analyze why you don't like it, figure out what's causing you to draw that way, ask what you might prefer instead and what the difference between them is, and figure out how to draw what you want instead. The important thing is that when you examine your art and other's art you're using as inspiration you don't instead use it as a tool to put yourself down.

My shadows are flat and poorly angled, and I draw everything lopsides, and I can say those things as simple facts of my art. These are things I still do, and I use tools to fix them, like turning my tablet or using editing tools, or looking up references. If I want to know a certain technique I reach out to other artists I see using said technique and asking, or I research it myself. In the meantime I experiment and accept this flaw in my art. There's other things to like. The important thing is you don't allow your lack of knowledge to demotivate you from correcting that lack of knowledge.

The best thing you can do is ask yourself what you like about art, and what you want to do. It's a bit difficult for me to help with this sort of thing because I've literally always drawn my whole life, so helping someone who is actively choosing to take up drawing isn't my realm of expertise. But art is communication and connection and self-expression. What do you want to express through your art and what medium is that expression best done in, what do you want to convey, what do you want to share that you simply cannot without art.

It's a bit daunting, those sound like profound questions, but honestly they're not. When I draw fanart usually what I wanna communicate is "I like these characters when they do this", and more often than not it's "I really liked this line/palette".

These incomplete character sketches have sat in my main D&D folder and I think about him at least once a month entirely because I was so happy with his proportions and the concept of a dewclaw heel. I ended up reusing the heel in these Jimmy designs.

It can be anything and changes with each piece. Drawing let's me express what I love and emphasize what I love about it or show it from my perspective. I'll use this raau page as an example.

This is actually based on a shop that I've gone to since I was a child, so it's a space that I've seen and thought about many times. Though it's changed, for ease of drawing and to fit into the setting of raau and for the sake of composition, but the things that are important to me are still here. The ceiling that feels slightly claustrophobically low, the rainbow coordinated shirts, the club covers shaped like animals, every inch of the shop being utilized for merchandise until you can barely see the walls, the nook shape of the section, the fluorescent lights with this specific covering that's very "soulless office job" but to me is also the playroom at my grandma's house and how both have no windows.

I wanted to preserve particular qualities of the atmosphere of the place, in order to express that in this image. That vibe that I could not describe in words to anyone who hasn't experienced it themselves so the best I could normally do is describe it and hope it sparks a similar enough memory. But with visual art I can use lightning, context, and composition to simply express it better. I can create the experience for someone else.

Sometimes writing is better at it than words, and sometimes both are needed, so I learned both. Sometimes music is better than either and I'm screwed because I can't do music. That's besides the point though.

When you're starting out you can have a hard time grasping what about a piece compels you. That's why you need to learn to critique art as you learn to draw, and that's also why tracing and copying is good.

Here's an example of me trying out @lunarcrown's art style. I made a collage and traced my favourite frame's shapes to "get my hands on it", if you will, before trying it out on my own, starting with similar poses usually. What I learned from this is I really like how Lunar does hair, actually even though this was a study of Tango I took notes on how she does Jimmy's hair and applied it to my Scar, Impulse, and Skizz, because I'm awful at short men's hairstyles.

I also cemented one of the reasons I love her art is because it does have some qualities that I already incorporate into mine, like the streamlining between flushed materials such as her Tango's skin and skin-tight shirt, or my Tango's sleeves and gloves.

If you know what you like about something it's easier to work towards incorporating it into your own art without simply copying someone else's. And starting out by copying as a way to play around with someone's art the same way an engineer pulls something apart is helpful in doing so.

Which leads me further back into simply go somewhere and draw what you see. The drawing does not have to be good, but being able to just take a sketchbook and see something that scratches your brain and mimic it is important to developing the above skills. Being able to translate reality into an image is important to developing your skills and understanding the fundamentals of breaking things down. Being able to look at something moving or possibly far away and look down and draw it anyways by breaking down its shapes is important in developing your ability to use references.

Drawing is also mostly muscle memory. So it's important to draw things over and over again. You can do this how you want, you're always going to hit a wall where you end up having to sit there and draw circles 50 times on a page to remember how to draw circles like you're trying to get a dry pen to work. You will do this before almost every serious picture. Find a way for you to enjoy this process.

The biggest most important rule about art, though, is that there is not rules. Go about things however you want for whatever reason you want. If you enjoy doing something a certain way do it that way, if you hate a particular process eliminate it. Sometimes the result outweighs a miserable process, if having something look a certain way is more important then suck it up and do so. If you care more about enjoying a motion than what the end result is then do so. You have to ask yourself what you care about in art.

For now, though, if you're just starting out. The best thing you can do is draw a lot of circles and cubes and fruit. It's an unfortunate truth that the best foundation is learning realism, because it's just going to teach your the fundamentals the best, and all abstraction is... well, an abstraction.

Of course, as just said, there is no rules, and if you genuinely do not enjoy drawing those things like me, then you can simply not. It helps improvement the fastest but if it makes you miserable in a way that isn't backed by passion then that's counterproductive. Forcing yourself only really works if you're passionate enough about what you're doing to overcome the temporary discomfort of learning, so if you're satisfied with just being able to mimic something more abstract in the beginning do exactly that and explore what would make you passionate enough to be willing to draw things you aren't stoked about for an end result. You might never be, but that's also fine, you don't have to strive to be the world's greatest artist to justify drawing.

Also accept that you're absolutely going to change your mind on things. What felt like a great line to draw you're going to hate the next day. It's up to you if you leave it be or fix it, neither's the right answer. I tend to lean towards leaving it personally, even when it drive some up a wall, simply because I have very momentary inspiration and don't like returning to old pieces once I'm done with them. Some people will return to a picture over and over again fixing it every time they think of something. Whatever floats your boat.

tl;dr figure out what you enjoy doing with art and just do that as much as you like. Improve by finding new things you want to do with art. Combine as you see fit to create art.

...

okay time for references:

I try to keep my designs simple because the style I developed for mcyt art was intended for animations. I've drifted a bit but in general I keep to simple shape-defined designs with long lines, flat colours, and minimal wrinkles. It's intentionally flat in many ways in order to create more satisfying lines, like the collar of his shirt or the way his hands ' gradient is done with the line art.

Tango is both round and angular, basically he's an almond. His shape is ambiguous in much of his clothing, with very understated joints. This gives him a move cartoony elastic sort of vibe, like he's just a pipe cleaner that can bend any which way, or a piece of rubber that might stretch.

I avoid bogging him down with logic for that reason, his hair is styled like hair but it has the appearance and moves like fire. Which is it? Who knows. Where are his organs? I haven't drawn them so they don't exist.

[stars-in-a-jam-jar]

Moar Buddy Dawn Shit in relation to this post

Buddy was dead for about 10 to 15-maybe-20 minutes. Kristen and Gorgug at the top of Freshman Year were only dead about 3 to 5 minutes and they still got some form of time in the afterlife, (side note: Gorgug not knowing what Orc Heaven looks like and being Deeply Fucking Terrified and shellshocked by the entire experience is So Juicy To Me, like. Something that should by all rights be familiar to him being foreign. Of deep spiritual significance, but not in the way it was 'supposed to be'; he didn't even know how it was 'supposed to be' at the time or after he learned it, he's still not really sure if it was ever a 'supposed to'.) so I'm quite sure Buddy experienced Something beyond the grave and chose to leave it for this nameless aspect of Ankarna. The version of her which exists as a result of her complete death and incomplete resurrection/preservation.

In that 10 to 15 minutes, Buddy passed into the place he was going. Perhaps some cornfield out on the edge of Helio's domain where Helio figured 'I'll get to him or he'll find me sometime, there's literally infinite time here'. Perhaps as a petitioner on the Astral Sea- wait, no, I'm thinking about Rolling With Difficulty cosmology, the Astral Realm is not a sea in Fantasy High. (also go listen to Rolling With Difficulty) Regardless of if he went to the afterlife the adults all told him he'd go to if he'd been a good boy or to some more limbo-like place, he had just enough minutes for the reality to sink in that he's Dead. He's dead and the feeling of a hand gripping his shoulder as if to hoist his assailant high enough to slit his throat presses like a cold weight on his skin. As if this body has skin, no, he's just a solid soul given form in this place.

So jarring. Resting dead in some corner of the cosmos like finding the one empty room at a big loud party where you've mostly been taking things in, sticking close to people you know, not doing anything you're not supposed to. Sitting down on the unfamiliar furniture or swaying idly in place as you listen to the murmur of this foreign world around you. Only it's not like that, not truly at all. You're not at the party anymore, the echoes of your life aren't some thing you're taking a break from to rejoin or building up the nerve to excuse yourself from to get a proper change of scene. There is no going back or moving forward.

He's dead. Buddy Dawn is dead.

How many minutes did it take him to lose composure? Did he even? When the ultimatum was posed to him, did he harden his heart to any regrets about abandoning his original faith, or did he relax into knowing he could live again, in service of something that reached for him and he reached back towards?

Why was he so chipper saying 'Dang, y'all, I worship a nameless god of rage.'? He didn't sound horrified by his decision in much the same way he didn't sound in touch with reality when he said 'Sometimes I raise my hand and magic that burns folks to a crisp comes out, but that's just the lord Helio working through me.' His death didn't change him so much as it fixed his gaze onto something new.

He is still a Cleric. Through and through. His soul needs a divinity to latch onto. And this is the first time he has latched onto a divinity wholly and completely for himself. He was not taught how to live for himself. He was taught how to live and die for a cause. For Helio. He earns a nice afterlife via sacrificing his autonomy to whatever the church tells him is good and right.

But he doesn't want a nice afterlife.

He wants another life.

And he no longer has faith that Helio will deliver him from any hardship, because even after he's just barely grasped how dead he is and has been for the past 11 minutes, his soul is wrent into an ultimatum by a different power. Go back to his body and continue living under a new banner, or be trapped in a dark, solitary purgatory which his soul may never be free from.

It's an easy decision, really. Barely requires any thought, only following a feeling. He no longer wants to stand by the god who allowed him to die so unceremoniously and so unfairly. He honestly feels more betrayed by Helio than he does by Kipperlily. Kipperlily hardly made any promises to him, just asked for him to be the party's cleric. He never expected her to do that, sure, but... His whole life he was promised that every bad emotion he ever felt in response to every wrongness in his life would (should, must, has to) simply evaporate away in the golden light of the corn god. And it's been an eternal 12 minutes, but he only feels worse and worse.

And if all Helio could promise him was a flat expanse of farmland overseen by someone who didn't even properly greet him when he walked in (if the celestial bureaucracy were even doing their jobs and funneled the soul of Helio's cleric to Helio instead of some cosmic waiting room or other), but this nameless deity can promise him a life for himself? Then by god he's taking that ultimatum, come back to life, sit up with a slightly surprised little smile and announce to the world (as he has been taught is right to do when you are devoted to a god) 'I worship a nameless god of rage!'

And he'll be happy with this choice-that-is-not-a-choice which he was betrayed and coerced into. Because it truly feels self indulgent to choose anything. To choose ragefully living for himself instead of obediently dying for an unfulfilling promise. He'll choose the intensity and the darkness because the gentle constant pressure cooker of walking in the light gave him nothing but sunburns and a slit throat.

[thirdsaltyhunter]

Crawl Home to Her

Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean thinks back on the times he died but found his way home to kiss you

Warning: mentions of death and dying, drinking, talk of alcoholism, cursing, kissing, angst, Dean self hate, takes place in season 10 so spoilers.

A/N: This is inspired by Work Song by Hozier and written in Dean's POV with lyrics acting as Dean's thoughts, lyrics in italics. NOT PROOFREAD ALL MISTAKES ARE MY OWN

Dean's POV

I don't want to get out of bed. I couldn't have woken up more than three minutes ago, but I'm so tired. Though that's been a pretty consistent occurrence for most of my life. I'd have a hard time remembering the last time I woke up feeling rested, and to make it worse, these past few months- few years, have been grueling. Hell, in the past few months I inherited the Mark of Cain, died and came back as a demon; I don't know how much more I can take. I want this to be over, but it's not, it's never over. The Mark still on my arm is a reminder of that. I'm glad I have Y/N, I don't think I could go through all of this alone. She's still with me even after everything. She makes it all worth it.

Boys workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love I could barely eat

There's nothing sweeter than my baby

As if she could hear me thinking about her she emerged through our bedroom door with a smile that always seems to melt away my worries and two mugs of coffee in hand. That explains why she wasn't lying next to me when I woke up. I release the breath I've been unconsciously holding since waking to find her not beside me.

"Good morning my love" she says softly, handing me one of the mugs and sitting next to me on the bed.

"Mornin' sweetheart". She cups my face and kisses me, soft and sweet. I kiss her back, with a wanting for something I don't deserve.

I'd never want once front he cherry tree

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be.

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me

It's still hard believing that all this is real. I was supposed to be dead. I did die. Yet here I am, waking up another morning, another morning with her. I remember hearing her when I was fading from the stab wound. I heard her begging me to stay with her and it made me fight. Evidently I wasn't strong enough to win the initial struggle against death, but I made it out alive and came home to her. Despite how ugly the road back was.

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

I think back to before we were together, back to when I came back after getting dragged to Hell. I wanted to shut everyone out, even her, and bury myself in a new grave of alcohol and guilt. Sam and Bobby had tried to get me to open up, tried to get me to talk about the literal Hell I had been through, Y/N never did. She somehow always knew when to push and when I needed to be left alone. So many nights I stayed awake, unable to sleep through the waves of guilt. Guilt over what I did in Hell, what I put Sam, Y/N and Bobby through, guilt for leaving them. My mind was so loud these nights, I drank until I blacked out. It was after one of these nights that I had woken up with a killer hangover in the bedroom that she usually slept in at Bobby's. Incomplete glimpses from the night before flashed through my head. Remembering how Y/N had found me in my drunken stupor and hauled me up from my seat at the kitchen table. How she managed to get me up the stairs and into bed by herself is beyond me, but I've learned over the years of knowing her, to not underestimate what she's capable of.

Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin

I woke with her walls around me

Nothin' in her room but an empty crib

And I was burnin' up a fever

I had drug myself out of bed and wandered downstairs, unconsciously searching for her. I found her curled up asleep on the worn out sofa in the library. A new wave of guilt washed over me. I hadn't even pulled my head out of my ass long enough to ask her how she was, and now she had gone out of her way, given up her bed, so I could be comfortable. I didn't deserve her. That's why I kept my feelings for her to myself for so many years. I moved past her to the kitchen quietly, as to not wake her. I wanted to have a pot of coffee ready for her when she woke up, it was the least I could do. I was going to bring her a cup but she heard me moving around in the kitchen before the pot was even done brewing.

"Hey" I saw her rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, her hair disheveled.

My heart swelled at how cute I thought she was when she was like this, though I would never tell her that. Not only because I thought it might ruin our friendship, but also because she would probably stab me for calling her cute.

"Hey" she responded, voice still thick with sleep.

"You want a cup of coffee? ", I asked as I poured a cup for her, already knowing what her answer would be.

"Please", she said with a tired smile.

That morning over coffee, I had told her some of what I went through in Hell, that I had broken and tortured souls. She listened, without judgment, without fear and without asking questions I didn't feel like answering at the moment. The fact the she didn't push me made me comfortable to tell her everything.

I didn't care much how long I live

But I swear I thought I dreamed her

She never asked me once about the wrong I did

And now almost 6 years later, I'm still doing the same thing. I put her through all that again. I made a stupid decision that got me dead, but I made it back, only to try and shut her out. But now that we're together, I know she's not going to let me do that and I'm too tired and I love her too much to fight her, even though everything in me is telling me to stay away from her. I don't know how she can even look at me, let alone still be with me. I tried to kill her and Sam when I was a demon and there's more terrible things I did that she doesn't even know about, though I'm pretty sure she knows and isn't telling me. After her and Sam cured me, I tried to keep her at arms distance, tried to tell her the list of reasons why she shouldn't want me anymore. How could anyone forgive me after everything I did. But she took me into her arms and kept telling me it wasn't really me, that her and Sam still love me and all that matters is that she has me back.

My baby never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

If the Lord dont forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me

When I was kissing on my baby

She spent all of last night kissing away my pain. I want to take away her pain too. I set my coffee on the nightstand and reach over to take her cup too, setting it beside mine.

"What'cha doin'" she looked confused until I turned back, grabbing her and pulling her to lay with me.

"Fixing it", I whispered, knowing it wasn't an answer that made sense, but I was going to kiss her until it fixed her broken heart.

I moved to hover over her and just looked at her, holding her face in my hands. Even in the low light of the early morning, she's still breathtakingly gorgeous. She pulls me down to kiss her and I get the feeling she knows what I'm trying to do. I pour everything I'm feeling into kissing her, how sorry I am for leaving her, for all the heartache it caused her. I don't think I'll ever erase from my mind, the sound of her crying as I was dying. The memory has me blinking back tears. I turn to hide my face in her neck and trail kisses along her shoulder. Her arms wrap around my back and I can't help but melt into her, breathing in the scent of her perfume. The weight is off my shoulders for once, I can breathe easier, and nothing matters outside of us.

And she put her love down soft and sweet

In the low lamplight I was free

Heaven and Hell were words to me

When my time comes around

It's moments like these that make me fight so hard. Fight to be better, do better. Fight for her and fight to stay with her. I roll over onto my back, pulling her with me to lay her head on my chest.

"I promise that no matter what happens I'll alway find a way back to you". It was a promise I was making to myself as much as it was to her, and I intended to keep it.

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

[cyberdragoninfinity]

keeping my brain busy in the wake of All the Bullshit by assigning the Arc-V Pokemon teams and making little pictographs for them <3 you can really see the slow progression of me fighting for my life trying to find good little character icons as time went on

anyway under the tag are all my rambling rationalizations for all my choices too if anyone wants to read my however-many-hundreds-of-words howling <33

YUYA (mostly c/ping this from an older ask since his team didn't really change):

Zygarde 20%: i think it’s fun giving him one of the ‘incomplete’ Zygarde forms since he himself is an incomplete piece of Zarc. That's Silver Claw.

Tyrantrum: He needs a terrestrial Dragon type, huge, since Odd-Eyes is the only dimensional dragon who doesn’t fly… Odd-Eyes is also very dinosaur like! :^) Plus the king motif and it’s even red too!!

Delphox: challenging myself to give at least all of the yuboys a fully evolved starter, and I really like delphox for Yuya…invokes stargazer and timegazer magician and all the other Spellcasters in his deck, the showmanship of fire, powerful supernatural abilities. also yuya with a fennekin is SOOO cute. in universe I like to think Dennis traded him the fennekin in exchange for Yuya's original starter (Sobble)

Hippopotas: Hip Hippo, of course!

Gengar: he needs something smiley, and Gengars got that prankster mischief energy that I think could play nice on a Yuya team. Plus it being a spooky purple ghost for the purple Zarc Energy. Mega Gengar is even stated to be able to travel to other dimensions <3

Roaring Moon: for Awakened!Yuya and Odd-Eyes Raging Dragon, monstrous violent dragon that bares a striking similarity to another Pokemon from another region, another world…hmmmmm who does that sound like…..

ZUZU:

Cherrim: Specifically its Sunshine form, noted for its high energy and cheer! It has her color palette AND EVEN LITTLE 'HAIR' DOODADS LIKE HER TOO?!? she would adore this thing

Floette: Truly a very Bloom Diva/Melodious feeling Pokemon, I think it suits Zuzu perfectly... hers probably has the red flower i think :-) Maybe at some point it evolves into Florges, invoking some of the more 'grown' Melodious ladies.

Scream Tail: Pink, tough, and a little scary lol. I think it's fun if she AND Yuya both have Past Paradox Pokemon...matchies. Jigglypuff invocation for Melodious/Zuzu's musical motif too!

Leafeon: Giving all the bgirls an Eeveelution!! Zuzu deserves Leafeon naturally :3

Lilligant: Plant/Flower Lady, elegant, pairs perfectly with Sora's Whimsicott. A no brainer for me.

Meloetta: fuck it giving all the bgirls a Legendary too!! Gotta go with Meloetta for Zuzu, especially the Aria Form. Like. That thing's a Melodious monster. also something something the way it can alter people's emotions vs. Ray Akaba's power over Zarc or what have you. I'm seeing visions

SORA:

Hydrapple: For Frightfur Chimera's three heads, also literally a sticky candy apple monster. Syrup Bomb. It's so perfect for him.

Bewear: Frightfur Bear of course!! ANOTHER PERFECT ONE FOR HIM. Cute giant plush bear that is actually Fucking Scary and Can Hurt You So Fucking Bad.

Mimikyu: ANOTHER NATURAL PICK spooky haunted stuffed animal lookin beast!! Looks cute but can be vicious. Mimics something friendly to hide its truth self underneath. Very Frightfur compliant.

Slurpuff: This kid does not walk around with 4385289345 different sweets on hand for me to NOT give him the sticky sweets fluffy dog Pokemon. What if a Fluffal was made of candy. Soramon unlimited.

Whimsicott: Frightfur Sheep! Also mischievous and surprisingly powerful, and it compliments Zuzu's Lilligant! BECAUSE THEY ARE BESTIES!!!

Kartana: I'm giving all the Fusion dimension kids an Ultra Beast because I can <3 extradimensional fuckery representation <33 Kartana is imo the one that works best for Sora, being small and sharp edges like an Edge Imp. Little fucker that will cut you.

GONG:

Iron Hands: AINT MOVIN. BIG METAL ROBOTIC MACHINE BEAST. THE JAPANESE INVOCATIONS OF HARIYAMI. THATS A SUPERHEAVY SAMURAI.

Kingambit: Another Samurai that notably stays put for the most part. Esteemed and respected and strong as hell and when its friends fall it only grows stronger to not let their sacrifices be in vain.

Aggron: has a cry like a train, thus reminding me of Gong's insane train SHS. Also just extremely Gong-relevant animal to me...big protective wall of might and metal.

Kleavor: Another Pokemon with classical feudal-Japan/samurai-relevant vibes. Has bigass eyebrows. In PLA its Hidden Ability was Steadfast, also.

Mudsdale: Like. Gong just needs a Ground type. To me. Hardworking and powerful but extremely slow. VERY good at using Heavy Slam. "It remains calm and unmoving no matter the situation." like...bro.

Ogerpon: FUCK IT GONG GETS A LEGENDARY TOO. For Superheavy Samurai Ogre Shutendoji and also Ogrepon cares so much about her friend(s) and so does Gong!! I KNOW it'd be rocking the Cornerstone Mask mostly, too. Solid as a rock....

SYLVIO:

(Shiny) Sneasler: For his Yosenjus, also the entire Sneasel family is just so Sylvio to me....shiny H-Sneasel/Sneasler especially. It has his stupid yellow bangs!! SLASH POS

Floatzel: Also another smug weasel Pokemon with lots of oranges/yellows in its palette. I actually can't fully remember why I gave him Floatzel but it could very well just be my bias cuz I love Floatzel lol

Quaquaval: THE SYLVIO STARTER EVER. SHOWY GAY WATER DUCK. ABYSS ACTORS. QUAXLY ALWAYS FLICKING ITS HAIR QUAFF. OVER THE TOP PERFORMER. MR. SAWATARI....

Cetitan: For Mobius the Mega Monarch/that smattering, and also Cetitan is kind of shaped like some of Sylvio's big bulky Abyss Actors (Evil Heel, etc...)

Unfezant: Another pompous male Pokemon with swoopy hair things <3 "Intensely proud." Also a little dart-like to me.

Toxapex: Really just another Pokemon that looks like an Abyss Actor. Also probably something in there with a Posion type vs. Sylvio's early TOXIC AS FUCK ATTITUDE, SIR!!!

DECLAN:

Metagross: Supergenius Pokemon made of four fused Beldums <3 Analyzes its foes with expert calculations. Incredibly strong. Just tremendously Declanmon to me.

Empoleon: D/D/D Wave King Ceasar!! Also just the royal/emperor aesthetic in general, would it right at home with the D/Ds. And "It avoids unnecessary disputes, but it will mercilessly decimate anything that threatens the safety of its colony" BRO THAT'S DECLAN.....

G-max Duraludon: The LID building <3 Also like the idea of him wielding Gmaxs AND Megas AND probably Z-movies and Terastalizing too, as a parallel to mastering all the summoning mechanics.

Escavalier: D/D Proud Chevalier, another tremendously brave in the face of adversity Pokemon, also UMMM THE LANCERS!!! also I like the implication he and Moon Shadow traded to get their respective evos with Shelmet and Karrablast lol.

(Shiny) Mega Gardevoir: Again, wielding Megas just as easily as Gmax... has his color palette, plus Gardevoir in general has that 'tremendously loyal to the person it cares most about and will protect them at all costs' thing which just. screams Declan and Yuya's dynamic a lot to me.

Regigigas: lmao, "Reiji." The trio master of the Regis just like Declan is the leader of the Lancers. Insanely powerful creation-diety ass Pokemon vs. Declan's position of being an Akaba and that narrative weight re: Ray. Also would be right at hoem with some of the big bulky D/D/Ds.

YUTO:

Ceruledge: well now this is just a Phantom Knight for real.

Hydreigon: Dark Rebellion!! Brutal and relentless (in its objective)...I like the idea that Yuto's Hydreigon is pretty chill when not Fighting in a War though <3 His frienddd

Decidueye: His requisite evolved starter, I think Lulu traded him Rowlet originally~ Also on that Phantom Knight swag with the Haunted Cloaked Ghost Archer Everything.

Aegislash: AND AGAIN. THE PHANTOM KNIGHTS FOG BLADE. THE PHANTOM KNIGHTS TOMB SHIELD.

Absol: A stoic and tremendously goth beast, plus the way it's so attuned to knowing when disaster will strike + Yuto having gone through The Horrors of War just pair up very well.

Zacian: He DID have Zamazenta too but he traded it to Lulu :^) In general both dogs are so wonderful for him... weaponry clad and endlessly noble and brave. Busted as fuck, I'm sure there's some commentary on PKs in there too lol. I imagine its mostly in its battered Hero of Many Battles form for the most part....

SHAY:

G-Max Corviknight: TRULY THE RAID RAPTOR RISE FALCON OF IT ALL. absolutely GIGANTIC metal bird that launches feathers like missiles. This thing WOULD be like rank 8 or some shit. ALso something something Raider's Knight.

Staraptor: ok well now thats just kind of what Shay looks like. Giant emo bird of prey <3 Incredibly strong and fast and Here to Fuck You Up Bad

Ninjask: ok this is a wild pick for him but I LOVE him and lulu having ninjask and shedinja, also Ninjask's whole deal of being Extremely fast is right at home with Shay's birds. It's also described as if "not trained properly, it will refuse to obey the Trainer" which like.... very Shay joining the Lancers-esque <3 Guy who is difficult to work with.

Braviary: "For the sake of its friends, this brave warrior of the sky will not stop battling, even if injured." "They fight for their friends without any thought about danger to themselves." "With its brave disposition, it fears nothing—not even death." DAWG THATS JUST SHAY OBSIDIAN FROM YUGIOH ARC-V.

Talonflame: RAID RAPTOR BLAZE FALCON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK IT BRAVE BIRD FUCK IT BRAVE BIRD FUCK IT BRAVE BIRD

Blaziken: This thing has Speed Boost and it's about to be your problem. Powerful, brave, nimble, perfect for Shay and his like insane acrobatics he's always busting out. Perfect Pokemon for guy who beat the shit out of like 8 cops at once. 🔥

LULU:

Altaria: TRULY A LYRILUSC OF A POKEMON Humming and singing and incredibly powerful bird. Soft and warm and "with a kind disposition." I know she would love this thing so much.

Swellow: For Lyrilusc Sapphire Swallow/representative of all her swallow-adjacent songbirds

Shedinja: Again really fun in a pair with Shay's Ninjask. 1 HP to mirror how Lyriluscs are all level/rank 1!

Sylveon: and here's where my Flying TYPE Eeveelution would be... IF I HAD ONE >:( WELL. I do think Sylveon suits Lulu very well too, an exemplary compliment to her kind and friendly nature. AND transgender colors #lulugendermoments

Togekiss: Peace-loving angel-esque bird!!! Dueling shoudn't be used for war but making people smile!!!! "it visits peaceful regions, bringing them gifts of kindness and sweet blessings." LULUMONNNNNN

Zamazenta: Yuto traded this to her out of hoping it could help protect her ;w; Hero of Many Battles mode for the most part. The shield/protective motif also I feel ties well with Lulu's nonaggressive but remarkably adept at standing up for what she cares about character.

CELINA:

Liepard: IDK WHY IT'S SO HARD TO FIND GOOD LUNALIGHT EQUIVALENT POKEMON BUT ALAS lunalight panther dancer! ok it's a leopard but shhh. Also "moody and vicious" and strong and stealthy.

Pyroar: and Lunalight Leo Dancer too!!!!

Sensu Oricorio: For the bird Lunalights, and also its fan-feathers remind me of Cat Dancer :3 WAIT ITS HEAD FEATHERS ALSO LOOK LIKE CELINA'S BOW AND HER PONYTAIL...OMG

Umbreon: Naturally Celina's Eeveelution!! The moon associated one, hunts prey in the dark, glows in the moonlight (evolves through friendship 🥺celina did too.....)

Hisuian Lilligant: Compliments Zuzu's Unovan Lilligant (BECAUSE THEY ARE FRIENDS!!!) also an elegant and powerful Fighting type that moves like a dancer. This has always been a big Alexis Pokemon for me too but what can I say Fusion girlies rocking out with the Skater Dancer Plant Lady.

Celesteela: More moon motif!! Also Celesteela's Princess Kaguya inspiration honestly parallels Celina as a character really well too

YURI:

Silvally: we all know I associate Silvally with the yuboys in general, but teamwise I think it belongs the most on Yuri's--hodgepodge chimera monster experiment built in a lab and kept away from 'normal' Pokemon and populations. blasphemous emulation of god. Definitely absolutely kept Poison type mostly. 💜

Vileplume: PREDAPLANT CHIMERAFFLESIA.... I was torn between Vileplume or Victreebel but I think Vileplum works the best. It's Yuri's colors <3 *spews toxic spores at you*

Mega Sceptile: Grass/Dragon-type, literally has Starving Venom's colorful orb things, extremely fast and powerful... Sceptile is already the perfect starter for him but Mega Scepty just checks all the Venom Boxes.

Scolipede: Its horns look like Yuri's hair prongs <3 He deserves at least one big purple bug imo. It's also described as HIGHLY AGGRESSIVE and RELENTLESS and damn if that aint Yuriful.

Carnivine: truly one of the Most Predaplant of all Pokemon. This bitch eats meat!!! also I think it's funny if Yuri has a Pokemon that kind of chronically sucks bad but he loves it anyway.

Nagadanel: AND OF COURSE YURI'S ULTRA BEAST IS ALSO STARVING VENOM :) why the fuck is it like Yuri's hair color(s) exactly. Like Poipole too of course but still omfg. its poison is described as an adhesive too which i think is just perfect as a mirror of Yuri's sticky nasty ass dragon. slash pos.

DENNIS:

Meowscarada: JUST KIND OF DENNIS'S TRUEST POKESONA. TO ME. Dark type masked showman magician, master of misdirection....kind of has his haircut....gay.... uhhhh. meow!

Star Trim Furfrou: WELL. YOU KNOW. 🐩 also Star Pattern in particular for matching the 'performer' vibes and being the same blue as the blue in Dennis's stupid stupid outfit.

Inteleon: I'm privvy to the truth (Yuya traded Dennis his Sobble and got his Fennekin in return) but also like. This is justalso a Dennis Pokemon Bigly to me. Gay Sniper Spy Chameleon.

Mime Jr.: Performage Trick Clown!!! And the Performages in general. Little clown for this fucking clown.

Copperajah: For Chaos Ancient Gear Golem :,) I imagine it can Gigantimax and REALLY have that "giant fucked up war machine" mood down back. Also something something circuses and elephants.....

Blacephalon: LIKE. HE COULDNT HAVE ANY OTHER ULTRA BEAST, REALLY. Weird unsettling clown that sets off fireworks and literally blows its own head off 🥴 dennis might as well be a damn blacephalon. "It slithers toward people. Then, without warning, it triggers the explosion of its own head." dennis literally did this in front of a cruise ship full of people .

YUGO:

Rayquaza: Yugo's perfect Legendary choice AND a perfect Clear-Wing equivalent! Sky/Wind related green dragon, only arms, no legs, hell its yellow rings even remind me a little of Synchro rings.

(Shiny) Flygon: Also just reminds me of Clear Wing a whole lot <3 green, fast, long stripey tail, rhombus wings.. the shiny palette is also Yugo's colors!

Cinderace: I had such a hard time picking a starter for Yugo but I think Cinderace is the best pick... literal jock that plays toys and is described as "losing its cool easily," "it gets pumped up when cheered on," and "if it starts showboating, it could put itself in a tough spot" which just comes off like a laundry list of Yugo roasts HFDGUSD he would love this bunny rabbit.

Starmie: Mostly I just love Yugo and Rin have counterpart Pokemon but also Starmie has Speedroid vibes to me!!! Spinning star toy. Also fast as fuckkkk

Dragapult: HI-SPEEDROID KITEDRAKE!!! DRAGON THAT SHOOTS DARTS. FUNNY FAST VEHICLE LOOKIN ASS LIZARD.

Miraidon: ok Im pulling the "Yugo is one of my favorites he gets two Legendaries" card HE JUST DESERVES MIRAIDON. DUEL RUNNER DRAGON. CAPABLE OF BEING SILLYGOOFY AND ALSO LOCKING TF IN. one yuboy having a Past Paradox 'mon and one having a Future Paradox mon makes me a little craayayayzayy

RIN:

Froslass: Truly one of the most Windwitch of all Pokemon to me. Powerful ice witch lady fuck up your whole world.

Bronzong: A big fuckoff Bell. For Windwitch Freeze Bell. And Diamond Bell. And Crystal Bell. And Winter Bell. And

Hatterene: AND ANOTHER POWERFUL WITCH POKEMON FOR THE WITCH QUEEN also the trans flag colors just like rin's riding gear outfit. transfem rin is real btw

Glaceon: easy Eveelution pick for her ❄

Cloyster: Counterpart to Yugo's Starmie! Big weird floating Ice-aligned spike covered shape, which also described like 5 different Windwitches! Rin with Shellder is also really cute.

Glastrier: Really had to mull on what Legendary to give her but I love the idea of her also having a 'rideable vehicle' Legendary (horses are rideable vehicles.) Also Glastrier is a busted ass powerful as fuck belligerent ice monster and I think RIn would deeply appreciate its cunty spirit. 💙

MOON SHADOW:

Lunatone: Naturally!

Greninja: NATURALLY AS WELL!

Basculegion: The whole thing with Basculegion being powered and driven by the souls of its dead loved ones is just so perfect for the way Moon has to carry on after Sun Shadow got carded. Plus those very archiac Ainu design elements present just suit him well I think.

Accelgor: LIKE. I GOTTA. NINJA SWEEP also again i love the idea he had to trade his karrablast with Declan to get his Accelgor in return. Lancer synergy

Golisopod: Defense-oriented shogun armored type beast, pairs up well with invoking Moon's Twilight Ninja archetype. Also the Emergency Exit ability reminding me of all of his nimble ninja escape tactics we get to see.

(Shiny) Pawniard: A.) has his color palette B.) ninja-ish cadet at the command of a higher up (Bisharp), but also C.) that's Riley 🥺

RILEY:

Espurr: they just look like one. Riley Pokemon of All Time.

Oshawott: I love the idea of Riley having a baby Water starter to compliment Declan's Empoleon, and Oshawott's got that nice light blue and white palette and a design that evokes Riley's teddy bear a little bit. Plus its scalchop as a neat parallel to the C/C/C Weapon Monsters.

Beldum: Another baby form of one of Declan's monsters, also representative of C/C Critical Eye--one menacing red eye included!

Gigalith: All of Riley's C/C/C Rock Battle Monsters <3 (Armor, Blaster, Sword.) Also has eyes like Critical Eye too a little.

Ralts: one more mirror of Declan's team, but also this is another Pokemon Riley kind of just looks like. them big ol eyes. And the whole thign with how it flees when strong emotions are present :(

Terapagos: a cute and harmless looking Pokemon capable of absolutely horrifying reality shifting powers, just like Ray through Riley's body is capable of mildly terrifying ablities <3 I think Riley and Terapagos would also just be buddies 🥺

ZARC:

Zygarde 100%: FUCK IT. GIVE THE SUPREME KING ALL HIS DAMN DRAGON LEGENDARIES i just really love the idea of him especially having 'stronger' forms of the Legendaries the Yuboys wield--also like. Zygarde 100% Freakass Fulled Reunited Giant Green and Black Superweapon Dragon With Red and Blue Undertones (the colors of the pendulum scales)... it's too perfect.

Mega Rayquaza: Ultra-strong green and black terrifying giant dragon... 2!!! <3 The evolution of Yugo's Rayquaza. Giving Zarc all the crazy battle gimmicks too like he lords over all the summoning mechanics. Green for Synchros too <3

Eternamax Eternatus: ANOTHER WORLD-ENDING GIGANTIC DRAGON MONSTROSITY FOR THE ZARCMAN overloaded with power.. violent and unpredictable... the counter to Yuto's Zacian (and previously owned Zamazenta).... Fusion colors also.

Arceus: IT IS DRAGON TYPE NATURALLY the original vs Yuri's remix (Silvally)....fuck around and become God and all powerful. :,) Creation deity moments! White for Synchros as well.

Guzzlord: Also a bit of a parallel to Yuri's Silvally, but just in general I Gotta Give Him This Giant All-Consuming Dark/Dragon Extradimensional Abomination. All devouring.... Zarc in a way devoured the four yuboys too, huh.

Regidrago: Wildcard Dragon Legendary for the final spot but I do have my reasons <3 Big black dragon skull, "said to have the powers of every dragon Pokémon," just fires blasts of Dragon Energy at foes. Also just this sort of "ancient incredible power" feels very along Zarc's lines too

RAY:

Eevee: All the bgirls get evolved Eeveelutions, but I just love the idea of Ray's partner Pokemon being just a plain Jane unevolved Eevee that fought God and won.

Shaymin: En Flowers 🌸(also En-Wind for Sky Form Shaymin)

Lunala: En Moon 🌙 (also En-Windish, plus the Ghost typing a fun element with Ray effectively being dead and haunting that goddamn narrative.)

Lugia: En Birds 🐦 (also En Wind for all its storm conjuring capabilities)

Enamorus: ok I thought about Tornadus at first for En-Wind but A.) Ray needs a Fairy type for the 'dragon killer' implications, B.) Enamorus being this extremely powerful female Pokemon that fortells spring, brings the world back to life, and 'violently punishes' those that disrespect any living being is just, like, too perfect.

Regieleki: Its arms look like her ponytails <3 Honestly in general it looks a lot like when she was a glowy yellow spirit form. Also the only Pokemon to learn Thunder Cage, which feels quite appropriate for Ray stopping and containing Zarc. And oh well it's just a neat little counterpart to Zarc's Regidrago because I love when they have counterparts and I love divorce <33333 #EQUALITY: GIVE RAY LEGENDARIES TOO.

[being-addie]

Habits I've successfully developed since my first post🤍

If you've been here since the beginning, you'll know of my first and most popular post where I discuss developing certain habits to improve my life.

Here it is: https://www.tumblr.com/being-addie/714114582776610816/healthy-habits-im-developing-for-2023?source=share

So far, I've managed to do a lot and I'm so proud of myself. If you did some of them too, I'm really proud of you <3. It's difficult but we did it!

Here's what I managed to accomplish:

⭐Got my sleep schedule right: I FINALLY am sleeping 7-8 hours a night and it's so much better because I wake up at 5:30 am every morning and I'm more alert these days.

⭐Working out: Started going to the gym 5 days a week. I'm also looking into some hip-hop classes in the evenings.

⭐Water: I've tried drinking more water, and it's certainly working. I'm not perfect, but we're getting there!

⭐Digital detoxing: I did it. I successfully deleted social media and I'm so freaking proud of myself. It's 100% not easy and while I do get the occasional bursts of jealousy and FOMO, I'm getting better <3

⭐Creative work: I've started to learn how to crochet, and I'm planning on starting knitting soon. I also want to begin making my own jewellery (possibly try my hand at making clothes as well)

⭐Portfolio: I've begun work on my portfolio and I'm really excited with all the ideas I'm getting.

⭐Clean room: My room is so much cleaner now that I'm tidying up on a regular basis.

⭐Friendships: Currently in a really great place with two separate friend groups who value me, and I'm really grateful to past me for cutting out people I thought were my "friends".

Of course, I'm not perfect, I will be struggling with some things. I did particularly have problems with some of these:

💛My to-do list: More often than not, my to-do list lies incomplete because I just don't want to do it lol. Discipline is key, and I'm working on it.

💛Food: I've had to go out so much, and I've been consuming less-than-ideal healthy food. It's been difficult because I'm out so many hours due to classes that I literally need to buy those sugary protein bars to eat. 10 hours a day of nonstop commuting, sitting for 2-hour classes is no joke. We've also had a ton of birthdays and outings so I'm trying not to give into temptation and buy a bag of chips on a whim.

💛Self-care: I was so busy, I burned out, oof. I overworked myself to the point of a mental breakdown, and I'm still so busy, I'm finding it difficult to set aside time to even do my Everything Shower. I'm going to try and cut my day into manageable chunks so I can decompress.

Learning myself over the last few months has been interesting, to say the least. Paying attention to your mind and body's cues allows you to be more aware of what you're doing and WHY. Here's your sign to start implementing habits you've been sleeping on.

Don't wait, just start. xoxo

<3

[lalalian]

helloooo

i’m making my own script (omg power and respect to you this shit is hard) about ruling over a fantasy kingdom, sorta like game of thrones inspired

my kingdom is VERY loosely based off of like… lyanna mormont’s house mormont in bear island (please look her up she’s kinda badass imo) and like….. do you have any tips on how to script your own kingdom? and all the neighbouring kingdoms and building world lore and all that stuff

any tips at all would help me immensely i’m struggling over here (literally how do you do it you’ve got the alruna dr AND the aethergarde dr with shit tons of lore my god that’s a feat to come up with, props to you)

thank very much, a struggling scripter

hihi!

First thing you should consider is your starting point. Your starting point can be something you're most interested (this is what I did with Aethergarde) or you can start with the general idea of your kingdom/world.

I know that most people recommend writers to start from the outside in, like the world itself-- or the inside in, which would be building the main cast first.

But if you start from the technical stuff first, it’s really easy to lose motivation! Scripts and books are different; essentially, writing tips shouldn’t be completely synonymous with script writing tips!

the problem with using general writing tips for scripts

Okay so there isn't actually a problem with it, per se, but you will get stuck for a long time on things that don't matter; you'll never end up scripting stuff that do matter.

What doesn't matter?

I know that i scripted some of these in my aethergarde academy DR, but exports and imports, extreme detail with the languages in your DR, and extremely minor conflicts that wouldn't really affect your experience in your DR.

(In my defense, I have the main stuff already written down 😒😒)

This doesn't mean that you shouldn't script these things at all, but just know that it's more optional than other things.

Script the less important stuff once you got the important stuff done!

Think about your experience first, then script the things that matter less if you'd like to.

Does knowing what kinds of plants grow in the southern part of your kingdom matter as much as your friends, your DRself, and the DR time line (plot)? Most shifters are less inclined to shift with an incomplete script, especially if the script doesn't even have anything about you or your experience in it. But if the vast majority of what you want to experience is down already, you'd be more motivated to shift there instead of still painstakingly working on that script.

When you settle down to shift there, you're less likely to wrangle with thoughts like "Oh but I haven't scripted this or that..." if the main shit is done.

How much time is in-between events?

Novels typically don't focus on how often an event happens, but with shifting, please for the love of god give yourself some time between particularly stressful events.

Trust me, your life will still feel as action-packed as it does here.

You don't have to script "2 weeks after X, this happens, and then 5 weeks after XX..." especially if you plan to remember the plot. If you happen to recall how long your breaks are, it'll make you unnecessarily antsy on the day it happens.

YOU WILL BURN OUT before EVER getting to the things that matter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your DR isn't a book; you don't need to convey a fully fleshed out world to your 'readers'-- the only reader of your novel is you.

Subconsciously, you know what you want the world to be like, you just haven't put it into words.

Again, it would be disappointing to burn out and discard a script before you even get to your DRself.

Always remember that the end goal is to shift there.

Never forget that this is a DR-- A place you can go to. Stop scripting somewhere. You have the knowledge of shifting, so use it! Sure, writing what you want is fun, but isn't doing what you want even more fun?

Find a stopping point or else you'll be working on that script forever, and you'll never shift.

SCRIPT THAT YOUR WORLD HAS PLUMBING SYSTEMS/SOME TYPE OF SYSTEM THAT ALLOWS ITS PEOPLE TO KEEP THEMSELVES CLEAN

Never ever EVER forget this. I nearly did with Aethergarde-- I added this affirmation last month to my script. I know that your subconscious knows what you want, but I think I'd cry if I was prompted to shit in a hole without toilet paper. No. Absolutely not. Even if there’s a slim chance of shifting to a world like that… I would rather not want to worry about that stuff 😭😭😭😭

Oh and if you plan to have kids, I recommend adding this affirmation to your script (this is directly copy and pasted from my aethergarde script)

There is significant studies in childbirth, at least as much as my OR, because of this, mothers typically do not die from childbirth and childbirth isn’t painful because of a similar medicine to an epidural… and of course, proper birthing practices

So... why not using writing tips?

We aren't full on authors, not all of us have the grit to write a full on book, and you won't know that until you do. Again, you're going to burn out sooner than you think.

Writing takes time, a LOT of time, but luckily for you, there's so much stuff you can skip. Don't make things so hard on yourself!!

Script you don't remember the plot

It'd be a lot more fun if you didn't remember everything; you'd get to experience everything authentically like everyone else in your DR will!

Ok now onto the actual world building tips….

I’m assuming you’re starting off your script with your kingdom; so I’ll start here for this post!

What kind of fantasy is your world?

Is it high fantasy, low fantasy, or historical fantasy? (I made that last one up, but like I’ll get to it soon, ok?)

High fantasy is set in a world totally different than ours. Some examples would be Avatar (the blue ppl one, not the anime) and Aethergarde Academy.

Low fantasy is set in a world much like our modern world, but there are some fantastical elements in it. A very famous example of this is Harry Potter.

I would define historical fantasy to be a world that is set sometime in the past (usually the Victorian era or medieval era), but it has fantastical elements (any Isekai otome manhwa with magic in it would fall in this category). I think house of dragons fall here too, though I’ve only watched like 4 episodes so far.

If you’re looking into making a futuristic DR, genres like steampunk, solarpunk, sci-fi, cyberpunk, cyberprep would prob suit your vibes more, but I won’t get into those today.

That narrows your DR down to historical fantasy!

Names

This is the worst part of scripting (actually this is the second worst part, government is the ABSOLUTE WORST).

Idk abt you or anyone else reading this, but I’m extremely picky with names. A name has to fit, yk, so don’t fret if you take a long time to find names.

First, start off with name generators.

This generator is PEAK, it has name generators for literally everything. But, personally, the kingdom names never really resonate with me. I typically use Pinterest or look at the names based on ethnicities to come up with names for my kingdoms & empires.

If you’re as picky as me, I wouldn’t recommend using ChatGPT to get names. The free version I use has such cheesy names, I’ll ask it for mysterious and dark guy names for books, and it’ll give me shit like ‘Lucifer Blackthorn’… like really… really…

Sometimes it has given me good names tho, I’d say the academia based names are pretty okay (Straus’ last name was from ChatGPT).

Another thing you could do is find a modern name you like and mix up the spelling a bit; I do this really often with character names.

Ex:

Lily > Liliya

Alexander > Alec, Xander, Xavie, or Xavier

Alfred > Alund

Callie > Caelye

Final resort for me is Google translate. I suggest translating random words that pertain to your kingdom into Greek or Latin (especially Latin), then taking pieces of those words and smushing them together.

Government

If you’re going to use ChatGPT for anything, I’d use it to make the government for your DR.

If you don’t want to use AI, I’d start researching government stuff, or go with the standard nobility/monarch format.

Languages

Remember, it’s best to script language stuff after everything major is done.

When you get to language stuff, I honestly just recommend describing it + making up some words in that language rather than going into extreme detail.

ChatGPT is a good option for this too; when I asked abt language, reya’s response had stuff like: Alphabet, Phonology, Script Design, Word Order, Morphology, Vocabulary, Tones and Aesthetics (sound + visual), & Cultural Context. Personally, I just say shit like ‘[insert language] has a [characteristic] and [characteristic] tone like [insert language here]’ or I say it’s a mix between a few languages. I really like Welsh for some reason, so noble language in my Aethergarde DR has the same kind of sound welsh does.

Here are some characteristics I’d give some languages, you can base your characteristics for your languages from this if you’d like:

The channel Wikitongues has a lot of ppl just speaking their language!

Smooth: Korean, Welsh, German

Regal: Welsh, Tibetan, Hindi, Hmong, Yoruba

Nasally: Japanese, Thai

Harsh: Russian, French, Cantonese

Round: (American) English

Sing song-y: Valspeak/ Valley girl accent (English), Hmong, Kazakh, Italian

Sharp: Russian

Throaty: Swedish,

Assertive/Strong: Spanish (Spaniard) (DON'T KILL ME, MY DAD IS FROM BOTH SPAIN AND MEXICO), Okinawan (Japanese, but it’s so distinct from other Japanese dialects)

Breathy: Navajo

Quick: Khmer

Social Hierarchy

(this is a good website that explains the power each title has, but the actual product is like... kinda a scam, don't buy from them)

Personally, I'd just go with the whole baron to emperor thing, though you can also just switch up the names of the titles and have the same kind of idea.

For reference, this is (to my knowledge) the aristocrat social status hierarchy (using all male terms):

MOST POWER

Emperor (leader of the empire)

King (leader of a kingdom)

Archduke

Duke

Marquess

Count/Earl

Viscount

Baron

Commoner (not a noble)

LEAST POWER

Map

If you really want to start with the world itself, I highly suggest making a map. I made mine on inkarnate!

You don't have pay to make a good map, just use canva or some sort of drawing app to make labels and border lines.

General Ideas

Do you like to read? If not, find photos that would reflect the architecture or scenarios that you'd see in your DR.

Reading can help you get some sort of idea on what you want from this DR!

conclusion?

Was this helpful? I'm not sure 😭😭 I'm super tired rn, so if there's any typos, I'm sorry.. try to ignore them; feel free to ask for clarification!

[commsroom]

first of all thank you so much for having this blog and sharing your thoughts!! your eiffelposting (and heraposting) has literally got me through the post w359 Grieving Process after running though the whole thing in about 2 weeks and your character insight is. well. chefs kiss. Eiffel Understander Of All Time. 2 things: 1, if it’s ok, you’ve mentioned before about an eiffel version of change of mind, and the idea has (1/2)

(2/2) literally stuck with me since and i’d love to hear your thoughts on that if you have any! 2, are there active w359 discords about bc i got a deep need to yap about all this (apologies if the first msg came through twice, tumblr's being weird)

oh, it makes me very happy to hear that!! your art is a gift, and i'm glad i can offer you something in return.

as for your question... yes! okay. the basic premise is to frame eiffel losing (and regaining) his memory as a catalyst for character growth, as a narrative parallel to lovelace's death and resurrection, rather than a resolution. i think it's noteworthy that the finale has eiffel faced with himself from first a very internal (the final confrontation literally taking place inside his head) and then a very external (hearing his logs as an outsider after losing his memory) perspective and i think the natural extension of this is, well. to confront him with himself.

one of the most key things about eiffel's character arc is that he wants to escape himself. "it's taken me this long to realize that running from everyone else means that you're alone with yourself" but, as addressed in constructive criticism, he's also running from himself. he doesn't like what he hears on those tapes, but the eiffel of succulent rat-killing tar both is and isn't the eiffel of brave new world, and i think that's what's being set up/suggested at the end.

i think viewing eiffel's memory loss as a death is incomplete, while viewing it as a "fresh start" or anything of the sort is incompatible with his existing character arc. but if you think of it as part of this pattern of eiffel trying to escape himself, and ending up still stuck with himself...? if he makes the big sacrifice, "escapes" the person he is as much as anyone can, and then finds he's still stuck with himself, still has to live as the person he is...? then, what next?

(i think this also ties in well with maintaining sobriety; addiction, self-destructive impulses and the desire to not be present in his life, etc. are all rooted in the same things.)

my concept of eiffel regaining his memory would be this sort of... fever dream "life flashing before his eyes" sequence of stepping into significant moments in his life (as a stranger) and interacting with himself, and needing to accept / reintegrating all of these versions of who doug eiffel is and has been. that the question of "am i still doug eiffel?" is one of accountability for his past but that he's always been changing and will continue to grow. i think a key part of this would be him seeing these moments through a pop culture lens / as if it's a movie and then more gradually seeing what they really are. ideally, these would be moments tied to specific songs for him; eiffel's internal soundtrack is well beyond wolf 359's budget, i'm sure, but it's a hypothetical anyway. these would be real memories, in some form, but obviously none of this would be happening for real; it's just how i think his brain would make sense of it (while he's presumably unconscious.) it's like sarah shachat said about eiffel's story in limbo: to tell that story, he would first have to make it a story.

i like this because i think it works well with eiffel's existing arc. i like it because it provides a different angle on self-exploration via memory in the same vein as memoria and change of mind. i like it because it makes a good potential parallel to shut up and listen/constructive criticism, and to mayday (eiffel alone with the voices of others vs. eiffel literally alone with himself.) it feels like a natural extension + heightened conclusion to things that i feel are already implied + set up. and, while i like where wolf 359 ended and would never want to add to it, i like imagining what zach valenti would do with a bunch of different versions of eiffel at different stages of his life interacting; i think he would knock it out of the park with material like that.

i think the real core of identity in wolf 359 is in these moments where people assert who they are, or decide to be who they are. again, in parallel to lovelace... the same way that lovelace decides to be isabel lovelace, "even if [she] never has been before", eiffel would decide to be doug eiffel, all the people he's been, the person he is now, and all the people he's going to be.

(as for discord... i think there are some, but unfortunately i don't know of any that i would personally recommend. you are always welcome to ramble at Me on discord, but i know that's probably not the same.)

[yuurei20]

Hello, hello! First of all, happy holidays! And a huge big major thank you for all your posts. Your translations and info compilations are not just really interesting but also literal life savers, as a fanfic writer. I appreciate them a lot 💜

Recently I've started keeping the Japanese honorifics in my fics because it's just as you said in one of your posts: they're great ways to show relationship progression without needing many words and also speaks tons about the characters and their relationships. The one issue I'm finding, though, is actually finding the right ones. Aside from Rook and Floyd, there aren't many good lists out there. The appellations pages in the wiki are severely incomplete for most characters. So I was wondering if you'd have any good resource to point to on that? Or if you'd be willing to make a list of them?

Thanks for the attention in advance 💞

Hello hello!! Thank you so much for this question, and I am so glad to hear that these little collections of screenshots can be helpful sometimes! ♡ You are too kind!

I have made the list! :> It is very much a lot of information and I am not sure how to share it without spamming 22 posts at once, so I think I will try gradually posting it to this blog and then compile into a reference post separated by dorm, which will then culminate into a master list of everything--I hope this will be okay!

Starting with Riddle:

Riddle does not use any honorifics with Trey, Cater, Ace or Deuce.

Riddle also does not use any honorifics with any of the first-year or second-year students.

Riddle uses the "-senpai" honorific with the third-year students.

Exception: Riddle typically uses "-senpai" with Leona, with the (thus far) one-time exception during Book 2 where he dropped the honorific from Leona's name in the panic leading up to Leona's overblot.

・Trey and Honorifics ・Cater and Honorifics ・Ace and Honorifics ・Deuce and Honorifics

[koukouture]

Kou's AO3 ffxiv fic rec list

I am so insane and I literally have only been reading FFXIV fanfics for like the past four or so months so here r some of my favorites

I will split it up into three categories: reader inserts, WoL OCs, and then yk fics with only the characters.

WARNING: I read lots of unsavory shit so please heed the tags in the links as I will not be going over those in this list.

*length of fics will be rounded to nearest thousand

Reader insert's

The Rise of Emperor Solus zos Galvus by amandaterasu

(Emet Selch x reader) Length: 25k Status: Complete (one shot) Review: You don't understand I think about this fic at least once a day oh my fucking LORD. 25k words just GONE in an instant I read this in like under an hour. Actually gigging and kicking my feet this shit bro liiiiiike the way this author writes Emet Selch... ouuuuughhh. I love it when a man is just so insane for his woman that he finds her in another life and immediately starts courting her. Honestly, this shit is just so good it reads almost like a historical drama in the best ways possible. Yeah it's romance (and smut) but it's also politics (kinda) and idk about you but those are my two favorite things. I now need a full length novel about Emet Selch's rise to emperor of Garlemald but yk what this shit is just as good. Bonus points for this author for introducing me to fanfic reading extensions to replace certain terms I will be using this from now on.

Tremble, Duck, & Weave by OwlEspresso

(Estinien, Aymeric, Haurchefant, Urianger x reader) Length: 31k Status: Incomplete Review: This inspired my current big project, Hellbound and yeah idk something about Ishgardian politics man. I'm gonna warn you right now a lot of these reader insert recs WILL be yandere/yandere-adjacent with a lot of unhealthy themes, general debauchery, and doves ranging from beaten to dead so uh... yeah. That aside, this is just a really fun time. Seeing everyone interact with the reader insert and all the different ways they show (or think about) their twisted affections... hnnnng it makes me a little insane okay. Also, shout out to pervert Haurchefant you will always be near and dear to my heart. We were ROBBED in the English translation

Captivate by samsaur

(Aymeric and Estinien x reader) Length: 41k Status: Incomplete Review: Remember what I said about doves ranging from being beaten up to dead? Well, the dove is definitely dead here, but it's rlly juicy because this shit really does feel like a horror story. I am not qualified to speak on it, but I think this is a great portrayal of Stockholm syndrome and the way it's written really puts you into the shoes of the reader insert and you kind of feel that hot and silent shame of being held captive like this. Also, one of my favorite niches of FFXIV fanfics is apparently villain Aymeric. Idk why but he is so good as a villain probably because he had every single reason to turn out one, and he would be a far more terrifying villain than Thordan. If Aymeric wasn't our ally during Heavensward, he would undoubtedly be a huge threat to us and this fic kinda takes that and dangles it over your head. Because, yes, Aymeric is holding the reader captive but he is also helping Alphinaud and Tataru out. It's this balancing act where we know Aymeric is capable of really fucked up things but he is still playing at the perfect image of our noble ally. You find yourself yelling at everyone else not to trust him because you, the reader and his captive, know that he is a piece of shit in this AU and I think it's glorious. Uhhh Estinien is there too ig. It's no fault on the author's part but I just don't really vibe with Estinien as a love interest. Though, his dynamic with Aymeric and the reader is extremely interesting to me. I can't say too much without spoiling all the fun, but I think in a way Aymeric has him trapped under this thumb too.

I'd Ask For Your Soul, But It's Already Mine by Dotharl

(Zenos x reader) Length: 29k Status: Incomplete Review: Guys it's fucking Zenos PLEASE read the tags on this one. Anyways I love my porn kjakjfjkjakhshjfjhk. Okay but genuinely I always say this, but Zenos is surprisingly genuine as a love interest because he doesn't put WoL up on a pedestal and just loves them for all of their worst bits and THAT is the appeal of enemies to lovers. This fic plays with that, especially with the reader insert being a Dark Knight WoL where Fray talks some sense into them and helps them recognize their self worth. I won't lie to you, this fic starts out with VERY fucked up Yandere fuckboy Zenos energy with all of the dubcon included, but I kinda don't care + it's just genuinely well written at times. The dynamic between WoL and Zenos is very nice here, bc yeah it starts out... like that and then it evolves into mutual respect when the reader realizes that Zenos would treat them well and not yk use them as a weapon. Albeit, it does go kind of quick but eh, it's like 4 chapters so I can't fault the author THAT much. Besides, not to diminish the fic, but it IS pretty clearly just kind of a pornfest and that is A-Okay with me! This shit was also last updated in like 2022 so I'm pretty sure it's abandoned.

Not a Champion, Just a Knight by Kei_Cordelle

(Haurchefant x reader)

Length: 23k Status: Incomplete Review: This one is in kind of a weird position because this is an AU where WoL dies at the Vault instead of Haurchefant, so there isn't exactly any HaurcheWoL action to speak of. But, WoL definitely haunts the characters' actions. Bro, when I tell you, the worst part of this fic is actually Alphinaud being very NOT OKAY bc WoL is dead. He is just a baby what the fuck do you mean he watched his friend, confidant, and hero die in front of him???? Yeah sorry I love Alphinaud a normal amount. (that is my SON) Anyways, this is written in first person which is weirdly a turn off for some people? I don't get the hate tbh, because first person just opens up so many fun opportunities! You can break the fourth wall much easier and directly address the reader, and you can also have the vibe that this is a retrospective of what the character saw. The later is definitely the vibe this fic gives. It's like, if the Heavensward memoir was written from Haurche's perspective in this AU. To me, I like to think that this fic is Haurchefant telling the tale of his greatest love and regret in writing. I feel like the action scenes could use some work but they're not terrible. It's just that they're literally one to one recounting of the Heavensward trials and it's just not the best. I think there's also the issue of the cast becoming slightly bloated so it is a bit rough to account for everyone's actions during fight sequences. I really do love this fic though because I think it's really interesting to see how everyone is unraveling. Obviously, we as the WoL take on a lot of things that are almost impossible for everyone else so to see them take on the monumental burden of the hero is very interesting. How would our companions react to certain things? Since during most trials in canon we take it on alone, how does everyone else fit in? Are they all doing the mechanics correctly? All in all, solid fic and I am holding out hope for that fated final fifth chapter since the last time it was updated was back in January and it was started back in 2022 so one day I hope that this will be complete and I get to see the final mental breakdown as the squad completes Heavensward with the legacy of WoL looming over them ✨

WoL OC Inserts

Coerthan Traitor by Cascanora (@cascanora here on Tumblr)

(Zenos x OC, a bit of typical Emet Selch and Azem reincarnation messiness) Length: 190k (GOD DAMN-) Status: Ongoing Review: The author of this fic is highkey like a celebrity to me bc I gobble up their art like it's fucking Christmas morning. Imagine being God's favorite and being blessed with the ability to draw AND WRITE??? Fucking insanity bro. Also, their OC, Crow is fine as hell like one chance ma'am pleeeeeeaaaaaseeee goddddddd- Anyways onto the actual fic, I am admittedly only on the first arc which is kind of like the childhood arc ig. But I really love it so far because I've just never seen anyone really write Zenos being kind of young and vulnerable and playful? That's a lie, I think I've read like one Zenos fluff that I'll have to dig through my AO3 history to find again (bc you'd best believe none of my bookmarks are fluffly...) so I just really like the change of pace. Zenos is obviously always put in more enemies to lovers type scenarios so I kinda like this different angle because yeah maybe he was something resembling normal at one point. Obviously he's very fucked up for a reason, but he was a kid too. He didn't always go off about biting jugulars and drinking blood or something, he got fucked up. I am so far absolutely living for a lot of the political stuff bc as I've said before, romance with a side of politics (or vice versa) is my cup of tea and nobody pulls this shit off better than fanfic authors. I'm really interested to see where the political stuff goes but it's like 2am (sheesh) as I'm writing this so I will have to delve further into this fic later. Anyways can I take a moment to talk about Crow and Zenos? Because they're so fucking cute I love themmmmm. I feel like I'm coming at this as someone who has seen a lot of Cascanora's art so I see when Crow and Zenos' relationship develop into when they're adults, so seeing the early stages of it is really cool to me. I don't quite know how to explain it? But anyways I am raving about this fic bc I think it just builds them both up so well and again, I don't see Zenos written to be playful and yk act his age the way he does around Crow. They just work together so well and while at the point of the story I'm at they're definitely just friends, I think that's the beautiful thing about friends to lovers. Regardless if it's romantic or platonic love, Zenos and Crow are a package deal. Also, Emet Selch/Solus in this fic is perfect. I LOVE my geriatric old man telling stories about his past. I would go off about how I am very captivated by the whole Galvus family dynamic but I will save that for the other fics bc this review section is already super fucking long and you had BEST BELIEVE I'm scouring the internet for Galvus family fics. I lied I will talk about this a little more because this strikes an odd chord with me as someone who wrote a lot of my own longform OC x Canon growing up. I kinda shamed myself off doing that kinda stuff as I got older, but diving into FFXIV where everyone becomes fucking Shakespear with their WoLs has made me let go of my fears of being a cringefailure and embrace the OC x Canon. To see really well written and thought out OC insert stuff is very comforting to me bc I often worry abt my own OCs being shitty and not really fitting in but fics like this assure me that hey, maybe I can make cool shit and that really is the most beautiful part of fanfiction and fandom in general. Fandom is this incredible loop of finding amazing shit and thinking "wow, I wanna do that too" and it's just really rewarding.

Save the Last Dance For Me by lalahganaja

(Alphinaud x WoL OC) Length: 11k Status: Complete (yatta!!!!) Review: ALPHINAUD MY BEAUTIFUL SONNNNN AAAAAAAARRRGGHHHSJGFKJGSGKHJHJF. This fic is so delightful bc it feels like I'm cheering on my children to kiss. A'tahja is so fucking precious and her and Alphinaud just bounce off each other so well. This fic also has the other Scions making an appearance and I fucking love it so much. Found family will never NOT make me absolutely batshit insane. Like yes, Y'shtola mamma cat <3 anyways *chews on Alphinaud and A'tahja* This is just so insanely fluffy and it made me slam my desk every few minutes bc cute teenage love story!!!! How can I not!!!! Alphinaud just acts like an adult a lot of the time and gets put in a lot of adult situations, but in this fic he just gets to be a little guy. A'tahja too, obviously as the WoL she's often off doing insane shit that no teenager should ever have to do and bearing burdens that are too much for a little skrunkly such as herself. But here they just get to be silly little kiddies who are very down bad for each other and it's adorable. I think another thing I really liked was A'tahja getting more in touch with her femininity? Idk how to put. But basically she had really short hair for most of her life bc she pretended to be a boy while in poverty, so to see her be A) pampered and B) learn to take care of herself and be more girly was super cute to see. Also, I am just always really surprised whenever I remember that Alphinaud can drink lmao. Like no, you are a baby (I was the same age as Alphinaud when I started playing this game) put the beer down and go sip on a capri sun or smth. God. Kids these days...

Canon character fics (?)

and i'm your clone, your strange creation by egg(strwpup)

(Fortemps familial angst from Artoirel's pov) Length: 6k Status: Complete (oneshot) Listen to me, I love this fic beyond words, but for the sake of my mental health I will NEVER read this shit again. My daddy issues go fucking DEEP like this is utter insanity. Don't get me wrong it is beautifully written and I love complicated family dynamics- but by god this fucked me up so bad. See, I like to personally believe that Edmont was a good, albeit flawed father but his sons know that he loves them and they love him in turn. But I know deep down in my heart of hearts that it is so much more complicated than that because you know, we can't have nice things here at Square Enix. It just personally fucks me up because I too, like Artoirel in this fic, am a momma's boy at heart and I... kinda hate my dad lmao. Basically, I kin Artoirel in this fic. Oldest child who has it out for my father + hates that I'm kinda like him. He loves his mother but holds contempt for his father, perhaps unfairly but can you blame him? (yeah I'm not only describing Artoirel here...) Edmont is a less than stellar father in this fic but you can tell he loves his kids and aaaaaaaaa I'm tearing up again. The complicated family dynamics + the drama of what happened in Heavensward is just so fucking delicious bro. 10/10 this fic destroyed me in every sense of the word and I do not want to go through that emotional reckoning again. However, I will be writing Edmont as a shitty dad in my fics now. Sorry but I am always just so insane for that sweet sweet eldest child and father dynamic because it's always so disastrous. Having parents is just so strange.

mon corps, le mien; mon coeur, le tien by steelthighsvoideyes

(Aymeric x Haurchefant x Estinien with a side of angst + Haurchefant survives the Vault AU) Length: 43k Status: Incomplete Review: I also started tearing up while writing this review because Haurchefant just does that to me okay? I feel like with a lot of Ishgard trio ship fics Haurche is always kind of left out? Or, he feels a bit tacked on to the Estimeric dynamic. That, or he's just sitting there with unrequited love bc clearly this man has not suffered enough. With this fic however, it definitely feels a lot more balanced. Like yeah a majority of the fic is just Haurchefant and Estinien bonding in the hospital, but Aymeric still feels present because of their shared past and how it's constantly being brought up. (in a good way) All three of them get the spotlight so you don't really lean towards one pairing. Romance aside, I really like the Ishgard trio's established dynamic in this fic because they're just guys being dudes. Besties who were in the military together. Like, Aymeric balances the trio out, Haurchefant is the sort of boisterous youngest member and Estinien is gruff and sarcastic and the banter between the three of them just flows so naturally. It's an actual friendship dynamic that serves as a solid foundation for what will hopefully be a romantic dynamic later on. Once again, friends to lovers is so good for this reason because the foundation is already there. You appreciate them as a person and you are aware of their flaws from the get-go, so when it turns romantic you skip a lot of the awkward exploration phase and can just be comfortable with each other. Anyways as for the crying part- the Fortemps familial drama follows Haurche throughout this fic and it does make me a little, tiny bit crazy. Not gonna spoil it, but the way Haurchefant feels about his family in this fic is just so real and visceral because of course it's super complicated. Once again, I like Edmont being a good dad, but realistically, it's shades of gray. Another thing about Haurchefant that not only this fic does but a lot of other people also head canon, is that his selflessness and willing to give can be self destructive at times. Once again, not gonna spoil, but it's just super heartbreaking to read Haurchefant be almost hypocritical, telling his friends to take care of themselves only for him to almost completely disregard himself. That's kind of what he does at the Vault in the first place, like that man died knowing that he did the right thing and protected his friend and oh god I'm gonna cry again I should stop talking... (I am not even kidding when I say that I will eventually write a Haurchefant character essay...)

Unicorn's Favor by Neyasochi

(Aymeric x Haurchefant x Estinien, yet another Haurche survives the Vault AU) Length: 34k Status: Complete Review: So, this is one of those fics where I feel Haurchefant is kinda just taped onto the Estimeric dynamic, and that's fine, it's whatever, I'm here for the porn and the banter. The premise of this fic is that Haurche helps get Estinien and Aymeric together and then smutty gay things happen. And that's all well and good BUT I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE FORTEMPS BROTHERS IN THIS FIC!!! *holds them gentle* For me, the best part of this fic was Haurchefant's relationship with his family which for a change, is NOT super angsty and complicated. It's all very heartwarming to see how in this fic the brothers get along very well (contrary to canon where unfortunately we know they were never very close) and to see Haurchefant really appreciate that he's still alive and gets to be around the people he loves more. It's just super cute and fluffy and now I just need fics like this in general. Yeah whatever it's not canon that the Fortemps bros actually like each other this much BUT IDC!!!! YOU NEVER SEPERATE TRIOS!!!! Speaking of trios, the Ishgard trio dynamic in this is yk it's fine it's whatever. In this particular fic, I find it quite cute that Haurche had a crush on Aymeric as a kid, so even if they aren't all buddy buddy in this fic there's still that lingering admiration and it's cute. I also completely swear by pansexual Haurchefant bc that man does NOT discriminate. Okay enough abt the French I will talk about the Italians (Romans) now.

Far colder on the earth than in the heavens by Altimas_Bane

(Galvus family things) Length: 7k Status: Complete Review: I told you I love my familial angst. No, I'm NOT okay. It DOES make me absolutely rabid that Emet Selch as Solus couldn't help but have some hope for the sundered because of Lucius because can you fucking imagine that??? Your son who gave you a little bit of hope for the broken, shattered people who replaced your brethren dies and that is the nail in the coffin. That is what makes you fully believe that they are unworthy. It was briefly mentioned in the short story "Through his Eyes", but Emet Selch had a little bit of hope for Lucius, and he was probably distraught when his son died. This fic goes over that agonizing feeling of watching someone slowly waste away from sickness. It is slow, it is painful, and it is gut wrenching. Idk man, just read it.

Son, Father, Emperor by January Blue

(Varis reflecting on his life and especially his relationship with Zenos)

Length: 12k Status: Complete Review: Heyyyyyy do you bitches remember when I said that Varis probably loved Zenos when he was younger but eventually held contempt for the monster he created? You all probably thought I was crazy for reading them like this BUT I'M NOT!!!!! Anyways fatherly angst strikes again (I am in shambles and this fic goes onto the list of fics that I will never read again for the sake of my mental health) LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN WELL; Varis and Zenos' relationship isn't so black and white. No I'm not defending Varis- but come on the entire Galvus family is fucking crazy man. Anyways, to quote the comment I left on this fic because I do not want to repeat and retype it myself: "Varis, in a lineage of men that are strong, born into the arena that is politics, is WEAK because he is EMOTIONAL. Solus/Emet Selch calls him emotional in the cutscene he was introduced in (unless I'm hallucinating) and that SENT me because I was forced to rethink all of the information we had been shown of Varis until then. I wrote him off as a shallow villain but I did some digging and Varis is surprisingly the most empathetic in the Galvus household and it SHOWS whenever Solus berated him in cutscenes." Varis had emotions, he had morals he had a line that he would not cross. He has been shown to be merciful (when we parlayed with him in the Ghimlyt Dark) and it's known that he at least cared for his late wife, Zenos' mother. Obviously, he would extend that to his son at one point, right? Perhaps when he was still young and unmarked by the world- right???? See, I really like this fic because it frames Varis' absence from Zenos' life as unintentional, but at the same time, it does not absolve him of the fact that he is a terrible father. I don't want to say too much because I would very much like it if YOU, my dearest reader, took as much emotional damage reading this as I did- but I digress. Varis and Zenos' relationship is not as simple as "Varis hates Zenos" there's obviously some shades of gray here. I personally believed that there's no way Varis hated Zenos because Zenos' mother died in childbirth, and clearly, other people think the same. Listen, you don't just hate your own flesh and blood, at least, not from the very beginning. It's a slow process, and I know it in my heart of hearts that Varis regretted what he let happen to Zenos This fic is just so wonderfully written and I was actually kinda bouncing around my room reading this. Once again, major daddy issues, so maybe that's why I like believing that Varis loved Zenos once upon a time. Something, something, father's love their kids until they grow a mind of their own.

And that's my list! In the future as I make my way through fanfics I have marked for later due to spoilers, I might make another one of these because I think people need to read this shit!!!!

If one of your fics is on here please send me an ask so that I might go back and edit this to tag you!