#I LIED WE'RE A SYSTEM
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rizzystem · 2 years ago
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same anon but i'm a bit dumb... was going to ask, what mediamates have you reconnected with and do you have any suggestions on how to meet them?
so ive reconnected with some in a few ways! personally, im alright with chatting with fictives and kins and counting them as my mediamates, and i have quite a few friends who kin or are IRLs from the dream smp! usually, i join discord servers(whether that be kin or IRLs because i do still kin other characters even though im cwilbur soot irl) and try to make friends through there.
i also have a tiktok where i post edits and use the tag dsmpirlsinteract and try to follow other IRLs and message them!
also, tumblr is a good place, i know there are kin calls, where kins, fictives and IRLs all send out messages to look for mediamates, and i used to message a lot of people via there!
thats my explaination on how i reconnected, but mediamates i have reconnected with isss
ive chatted with a lot of tommys over the time, and lots of quackitys(i used to sctivrly seek out chatting to quackitys but now not so much), and a few tubbos though i dont talk with them often. also a few nikis, i believe ive chatted to a phil once or twice(but not enough :(( id love to chat to any phils) and same with technos. i believe i talked to a dream irl once who was pretty chill. also a fundy, but wuite a few of these are like close friends or people i know! eg im very close friends with two tommy kins, a tubbo, a niki my bf is a quackity irl, and one of my best friends is a fundy kin(though bat isnt in the kinshift often) but i would LOVE to talk to more! literally any mediamates can reach out to me and message me here and im happy to chat, talk mems, and more!
when i ran moobloom, that(dc server)was also a place for mediamates to meet other mediamates! so you could also make your own dc server and advertise it
also, other sources that im happy chatting with mediamates from, in case anyone is interested
yttd
most bursonas aside from ghostbur(phantombur, simpbur, tommyinnit mod videos, rustbur, etc etc)
karmaland 4 and 5
smaller smps, like lifesteal, kaboodle
various anime sources(bsd, csm, jjba, death note)
so if anyone is from any of those, kin, irl, fictive snd you wanna chat, my messages are open!
but anon i really do hope that this helps explain! and if youre a mediamate from dsmp or any of the above sources, or even if youre not! if you just wanna chat, im happy to!
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poisonousquinzel · 8 months ago
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"a dude in Texas legally changed his name to "Literally Anyone Else" and he's attempting to run for President against Biden & Trump" [source]
okay, but putting aside the comedic aspect of this, it is concerning the amount of people who are prompted to vote for candidates just because it's funny. I'm not the biggest fan of how his policy about the boarder sounds [Site], but I do implore anyone who is able to vote in the 2024 US election to please research other candidates.
The media is only going to continue pushing the idea it's inevitably going to be Trump vs Biden 2.0 and we have no other options, that we have to vote for Biden again because of Project 2025. Is that whole thing terrifying?
Yeah, fucking absolutely.
But voting for Biden will not solidify our safety from that. Biden is exactly like the rest of them. He always has been. You can't make the lesser of two evils argument when they're both just plain evil.
You cannot say that Biden is even mildly a better choice than Trump when he is currently directly involved in a genocide. That is not some little fucking thing. That in and of itself disqualifies him as a lesser evil. Biden is just as bad as him and he will not save us because he doesn't fucking care.
Cornel West [Site] is an Independent candidate running for President in the 2024 Election. [Policies]
Claudia De la Cruz and Karina Garcia [Site] are running for President and Vice-President as the candidates of the Party for Socialism and Liberation in the 2024 Election. [Policies]
There are options.
There are people trying to change the corrupt foundation our system is built on, but we have to help amplify them because the mainstream media will not.
#have you looked at what's happening in New York & the subways#There's so many reported shootings and deaths and it just seems to be getting worse.#I just looked up subway shooting ny because I wanted to check before saying something#There's reports from like 3 hours ago about someone getting pushed in front of one of the moving subways & there's so many others#or how about the like thousands of police officers that they've got stationed at subways in ny literally doing fuck all#or how everyone's going through a housing crisis and cant afford rent and cant get medical care because it can cost#$4000 to get a fucking ambulance and that's cheap. That's a ride to the hospital less than 20 minutes away probably.#or the rise in hate crimes and bigotry and all the shit they're now trying to censor with the kosa bill#or how terrifying places like Florida have became for anyone thats not seen as an equel by people who dont view most others as equels.#or how they're pouring billions into wars while we're in the midsts of a homeless crisis#suicide rates are at record levels in the us and it's only going to get worse. theyre pulling telehealth which will take away#life saving medical care for people who dont have the ability to go in person. people's ability to get therapy and meds being taken away#Is going to kill people. or how the Biden administration has fucked up their Covid response so goddamn badly#people are referring to the pandemic in past tense and have lost understanding for others who they'd have understood before#they've lied and they've concealed and its killing millions of people and disabling even more. but they will not take accountability.#long covid is ruining people's lives and they've successfully led the narrative that its not real or not that serious.#they will sit there and they will lie. they will say they've protected women's rights and that its a top priority.#they'll say that healthcare is a top priority but have suggested that they'd veto a healthcare for all bill because of its price tag#but will spend billions and billions and billions on a genocide that the majority is against. the system isn't going to begin collapsing#it already is.#its crumbled and we must demolish the corrupt remains and rebuild a better government that gives a shit about people#ALL people.#they use basic human rights as bargaining chips.#the Democrats and Republicans on a Venn diagram is a circle. wake up.
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puppyeared · 10 months ago
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isnt it great when u take your adhd meds and instead of using that brainpower for stuff like ASSIGNMENTS. AND PROJECTS. your brain decides the next 6 hours will be brainstorming ponysona names and making oc playlists
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kinnoth · 5 months ago
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ok but what is truer to the gay experience than the prettiest little twink at your local gay hotspot picking the straight-passing-est refrigerator of a man to be his hookup
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duahauuoplanh · 1 year ago
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the problem of a child that has never been loved properly, is that we don't know what to do when our parents show us their little love and our heart just keeps breaking.
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blastlight · 3 months ago
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i got an automated text from my old doctors' office telling me it's time for a flu shot
meanwhile i'm ghosting my current doctor because i have no healthcare 🤪 maybe i should just stop going outside
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chipistrate · 1 year ago
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As much as I hate to say it, I don’t think Princess Quest is canon. There’s Vanny graffiti that was recently made, and I can’t see that happening if Vanessa was freed.
Honestly I feel like that was more of a red herring/easter egg rather than definitive proof that PQ isn't canon. Like how there's also graffiti that says 'Wizard' with rabbit ears on the 'd' (iirc), most likely being an easter egg to Dr. Rabbit/GGY.
There's way too much proof towards PQ being canon for some random reused graffiti on the wall to disprove it- like if it was a new texture or something I could maybe kinda see it? But it's literally just reused from the base game.
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ereborne · 7 months ago
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Song of the Day: April 15
"Something in the Way She Moves" by James Taylor
#song of the day#it's been two weeks + two days since the last song of the day#the issue is you see that I started the songs up again in December because my insomnia was fucking up my perception of time#and I wanted some kind of regular marker to help me keep track#and then what happened two weeks + two days ago is that I lost all track of time and subsequently the songs of the day failed#I'm gonna see if I can keep up again for a bit now that I've re-restarted without an alarm on my phone#but if I miss any this week I'll just give in and turn the alarm back on#updates from the last two weeks are going to sound so chaotic let's see#I got a new project at work /and/ I got demoted /and/ I got added to a higher access level /and/ I'm in charge of a new database#yes all of those things together. I'm to be an accountant now! not instead but in addition to my other stuff. should be interesting#I didn't get April Fools off like I was scheduled to because all my scheduled vacation got unapproved#(I was here for about twenty nonsequential minutes to boop people and I'm glad I made time for it. extremely fun to boop)#I lied shamelessly to get eclipse day off and we went on a full-day roadtrip and it was wonderful. everything I dreamed and more#I killed one of my baby succulents through clumsiness and rabbits ate my pea plants but my sage and cabbages look promising#got a massive pot of mint flourishing on my porch and the horseradish is gorgeous#got Duncan lights and plants and a filter system for his frog tank but we haven't set up the substrate yet#so there's just potted plants sitting inside a terrarium. very amusing honestly#I've been playing a little Stardew and eating a /lot/ of hot sauce and tofu#drinking tons of klass aguas frescas--especially the soursop one. holy shit is it good. the mango and hibiscus also#and these past few days I've been sleeping better#for most of those two weeks I was getting a handful of twenty-minute naps each workday and then crashing unwillingly on the weekend#I haven't read any comic books since February :'( this weekend we're going to costco and then I'm reading comics until Monday#what have y'all been up to? I've missed being around#edit: oh shit the actual song part. anyway this is James Taylor! makes me happy and helps me settle. good vibes songs#I'm half-panicked about work all the time recently and then also today was tax day (Nick's taxes. blegh)#James Taylor doing some heavy lifting round here
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grotto-esque · 10 months ago
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I think... people should cultivate a skeptical, questioning mentality towards news reporting, and perhaps especially if that reporting confirms your worldview.
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agayconcept · 5 months ago
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#well. my pharmacy got a new pharmacist who is Extremely Transphobic and is refusing to fill my HRT script#claiming i already filled it in april but i havent been there since february#accusing me of trying to hoard hormones for other trans ppl (??? i have Never met this woman what the fuck)#even says she put it into the system herself and ran it thru my insurance#i called them and confirmed#so she is now committing fraud#and on top of that Insists it was picked up therefore either she is lying and threw it out or she did give it to a complete stranger#(which is. So Massively Illegal)#so i need to report her to the college of pharmacists#but the problem is that now i obviously have to move my scripts to a diff pharmacy#so i spent all day yesterday asking local trans folks until i found a good one thats v accepting#so my drs office called that shitty pharmacist to fax it over to the new place and#she refused. absolutely wont do it.#insists she needs to 'speak with their head pharmacist first' to probably spew a bunch of transphobic lies#so ok i call the new pharmacy & explain everything going on with this bigoted pos & they say np they will call & put up w her to get it done#except ?? she is now HOLDING MY PRESCRIPTION AND ALL FUTURE ONES HOSTAGE AND REFUSING TO SEND ANYTHING EVER#and is threatening to label me in the system as drug-seeking#THIS IS LIKE 4 CRIMES WE'RE UP TO NOW WHAT THE FUCK#this woman is waging a one-person-war against me for existing as trans#and has now 1) committed medication fraud 2) committed insurance fraud 3) improperly handled medication 4) threatened a patient#so uh. i guess im gonna be involved in a legal case now#and on top of all that ??? i have No Way To Get HRT#at all#bc she put it into the system that i already received it so legally no other pharmacist can give it to me for months until that times out#so i guess thats a 5th crime bc she is now responsible for denying someone their meds and forcibly detransitioning them#ok. ok ok ok.#i have been having a 24 hour long panic attack and im literally sick from it#cant stop throwing up. feel like im gonna die#transphobia#medical discrimination
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doubleca5t · 4 months ago
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"weird" really is the perfect descriptor for modern conservatives because I would argue the defining feature of the current american far right is that they exist purely in their own bespoke media ecosystem that is both highly conspiratorial and mostly untethered from the truth. this is a group of people whose belief system has been debunked and disproven so many times by legitimate sources that they've resorted to just telling each other increasingly absurd lies in order to justify those beliefs. the upshot of this being that the minute you remove any of those lies from said bespoke media environment, there's really no appropriate response other than some varient of "bro, what the fuck are you talking about?"
how am I supposed to respond to someone who says that Democrats are running a satanic cult where they ritually sacrifice children to harvest their adrenachome - a theory that is not only insane, but is also a throwaway gag from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. what do you expect me to say to someone who says that trans women are dominating in women's sports, and when asked to give examples responds with a list of non-white cis women? How am I supposed to take someone seriously who thinks that wildfires are caused by space lasers controlled by the Rothschilds or that schools are installing litter boxes for children who identify as cats or that most large corporations are "Marxist" because they have mandatory diversity trainings?
like sure I can take them seriously as a political threat but how am I supposed to have any respect for them as *people*. because as people they are just deeply fucking weird. we should be able to dismiss them out of hand because it's not like they'd care about whether or not we're making a reasoned argument
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ritaflint · 10 months ago
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(specifically directed at the character of xigbar, not any of my friends. I do not like the character. I love my friends who had him as their starting point.)
he is virtueless and cowardly in his will. I will respect his power and skill, but ultimately, his intentions foul whatever he does.
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theartofangirling · 1 year ago
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part 3 of the 2023 version of this post: adult books!
part 1: middle grade books | part 2: young adult books
this is a very incomplete list, as these are only books I've read and enjoyed. not all books are going to be for all readers, so I'd recommend looking up synopses and content warnings. feel free to message me with any questions about specific representation!
list of books under the cut ⬇️
yerba buena by nina lacour
if we were villains by m.l. rio
everyone in this room will someday be dead by emily r. austin
i want to be a wall by honami shirono
portrait of a thief by grace d. li
the thirty names of night by zeyn joukhadar
on earth we're briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong
love & other disasters by anita kelly
take a hint, dani brown by talia hibbert
boyfriend material by alexis hall
almost like being in love by steve kluger
the charm offensive by alison cochrun
something wild & wonderful by anita kelly
red, white & royal blue by casey mcquiston
something to talk about by meryl wilsner
honey girl by morgan rogers
one last stop by casey mcquiston
once ghosted, twice shy by alyssa cole
kiss her once for me by alison cochrun
a spindle splintered by alix e. harrow
finna by nino cipri
every heart a dooryway by seanan mcguire
the starless sea by erin morgenstern
under the whispering door by tj klune
space opera by catherynne m. valente
light from uncommon stars by ryka aoki
dead collections by isaac fellman
the city we became by n.k. jemisin
light carries on by ray nadine
an absolutely remarkable thing by hank green
feed them silence by lee mandelo
summer sons by lee mandelo
upright women wanted by sarah gailey
lavender house by lev a.c. rosen
fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop cafe by fannie flagg
the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid
a master of djinn by p. djeli clark
witchmark by c.l. polk
a marvellous light by freya marske
a restless truth by freya marske
when women were dragons by kelly barnhill
plain bad heroines by emily m. danforth
a lady for a duke by alexis hall
infamous by lex croucher
passing strange by ellen klages
even though i knew the end by c.l. polk
the chosen and the beautiful by nghi vo
whiskey when we're dry by john larison
wake of vultures by lila bowen
silver in the wood by emily tesh
the once and future witches by alix e. harrow
the kingdoms by natasha pulley
a tip for the hangman by allison epstein
she who became the sun by shelley parker-chan
the song of achilles by madeline miller
spear by nicola griffith
this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone
gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir
some desperate glory by emily tesh
all systems red by martha wells
a psalm for the wild built by becky chambers
the mimicking of known successes by malka older
winter's orbit by everina maxwell
fireheart tiger by aliette de bodard
empress of salt and fortune by nghi vo
legends and lattes by travis baldree
the house in the cerulean sea by tj klune
other ever afters by melanie gillman
the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon
a day of fallen night by samantha shannon
a strange and stubborn endurance by foz meadows
the unbroken by c.l. clark
real queer america by samantha allen
fun home by alison bechdel
in the dream house by carmen maria machado
better living through birding by christian cooper
why fish don't exist by lulu miller
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propertyofwicked · 6 months ago
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FAKING AN INTEREST
f1 grid x platonic!reader (implied landoxreader) smau
based on this request! (this may need a pt 2 honestly)
warnings: none, just men having the audacity
masterlist the playlist
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿  ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
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yourusername made a new post!
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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 21,223 others
yourusername what the fuck is a DRS?
view all 9,211 comments
danielricciardo what he say fuck me for?
⤷ yourusername hi! im free may 28 if you want to hangout may 28 lmk im not doing anything may 28 please msg me if ur available may 28 so we could maybe hangout or do something may 28 !!
⤷ danielricciardo ill clear my schedule - what day did u say u were free?
⤷ username1 mad about being labelled as a fake f1 fan only to turn around and flirt with the drivers? is she fr?
⤷ yourusername get a job, touch grass?
username2 how does she know them im so confused
⤷ username3 she went to school with oscar i think?
logansargeant will you stop posting the worst pictures of me?
⤷ yourusername say please?
⤷ logansargeant please y/n im begging
⤷ yourusername start using the metric system and i'll consider it.
lilymhe come back to williams i miss u
⤷ yourusername can i bring lilyzneimer? 🥺
⤷ lilymhe omg yes!! lily-ception
⤷ oscarpiastri @/yourusername dont take my girlfriend to enemy territory tf?
⤷ logansargeant enemy? ☹️
yourusername made a new post!
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yourusername congrats on driving fast bestie
tagged: oscarpiastri, lilyzneimer, jensonbutton
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username4 jenson button? what are you doing here?
⤷ yourusername forming a danica patrick hate club
⤷ yourusername we're discussing gentle parenting tactics for logan <3
⤷ logansargeant is this why jenson keeps telling me that sharing is caring??
⤷ jensonbutton in my defence i told her it wouldn't work 🤷
⤷ yourusername we'll see about that - alex_albon do you feel cared for?
⤷ alex_albon im staying out of this.
oscarpiastri thank you y/n!
⤷ yourusername so proud of u bestie
⤷ oscarpiastri i already paid for dinner you can stop pretending to be nice now
⤷ yourusername brb faking an interest in our friendship rn
⤷ username10 she's never letting that comment go fr
username7 their friendship confuses me but im so here for it
username8 oscar paid? who's shocked
⤷ username9 not me!
⤷ username10 not me!
⤷ yourusername me tbf he usually forgets his wallet
⤷ oscarpiastri i leave it on purpose, actually
⤷ yourusername gold digger 🫵
username8 she literally only goes to the races so that she can post about it on ig and pretend she knows what's going on
logansargeant you never congratulate me :(
⤷ yourusername tf u want me to congratulate u for? brushing your teeth?
⤷ logansargeant no one else will :(
username6 where did u find that picture of oscar?
⤷ yourusername wdym find? i took it loool
yourusername made a new post!
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yourusername glorified uber drivers
tagged: logansargeant, alex_albon
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logansargeant best biscuits ever
⤷ username5 biscuits?? that wasn't very wtf is a kilometer of you
⤷ yourusername one of us! 🇬🇧 one of us! 🇬🇧 one of us! 🇬🇧
⤷ landonorris one of us! 🇬🇧 one of us! 🇬🇧 one of us! 🇬🇧
⤷ alex_albon one of us! 🇬🇧 one of us! 🇬🇧 one of us! 🇬🇧
⤷ logansargeant oh! so this is hell!
landonorris cute! don't do it again!
⤷ yourusername i snapped the head off yours hoping it was a voodoo doll.
⤷ username3 do they hate each other or..?
⤷ yourusername yes.
⤷ landonorris cancelling our lunch plans
⤷ yourusername i was kidding pls dont im so hungry
⤷ username4 lunch plans? y'all seeing this???
username6 the picture of logan im dead
⤷ yourusername he was modelling for his cookie design
lilymhe i want the alex one
⤷ yourusername boxed it up just for u <3
⤷ yourusername alex said he'd give it to u later
⤷ alex_albon i lied. i ate it. no regrets.
yourusername made a new post!
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yourusername lando norris fakes an interest in the menu
tagged: landonorris, oscarpiastri
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username5 y/n out here living our dream </3
⤷ username6 god i have seen what you've done for others 🙏
⤷ yourusername lando eats chicken nuggets with a fork you can have him
⤷ landonorris this is defamation, my lawyers will be in contact.
landonorris in my defence, that place was FANCY and i wanted to pretend i wasn’t about to order chicken nuggets and chips
⤷ yourusername fancy?? oscar literally ordered a cheeseburger??
⤷ oscarpiastri dont expose me like that y/n
⤷ logansargeant one of us! 🇺🇸🦅 one of us! 🇺🇸🦅
⤷ yourusername it's not funny when u do it <3
logansargeant you never want to go to lunch with me :(
⤷ username7 logan try not to get jealous challenge - hard
⤷ yourusername i literally had brunch with you like yesterday?
⤷ logansargeant ok and?
username11 she is never gonna let that comment go is she. we get it, you know f1.
⤷ yourusername why should i?
⤷ username11 it wasnt that deep
⤷ yourusername why should i give david coulthard the platform to perpetuate negative commentary on women in motorsport?
⤷ yourusername why do we keep allowing men to talk down to women with genuine interests instead of providing them with opportunities to excel in the field?
⤷ username2 say it louder for the people in the back queen
username1 lando looks so fineeeee
⤷ yourusername too bad he sucks at chess
⤷ landonorris you cheated!
lilymhe u look so sexy let me take u out 🫢
⤷ yourusername only if ur paying 🫢
⤷ lilymhe we’ll put it on alex’s card
⤷ yourusername sounds good
⤷ alex_albon do i have a say in this?
⤷ lilymhe no.
⤷ yourusername no.
⤷ landonorris no.
⤷ oscarpiastri no.
yourusername made a new post!
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yourusername y/n l/n fakes an interest in getting her degree 🍾🥂
tagged: ybfusername, youruniversity
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landonorris that caption isn't even a lie 🤐
⤷ yourusername sorry cant hear you over the sound of me being a graduate
⤷ landonorris did you not literally spend the last year asking if you’d “finish this degree or if it would finish you” ??
⤷ yourusername i literally have a piece of paper that says i finished it
⤷ landonorris talk to me when you get a trophy
⤷ yourusername ok mr won one race now thinks hes the shit
⤷ username4 gagged.
landonorris but fr, congratulations y/n! proud of you always!
⤷ username4 always huh? im smelling soft launch
⤷ username9 go back to bed grandma
oscarpiastri congrats on reading and writing stuff bestie!
⤷ yourusername thanks king! <3
username6 intelligent queen we loveee
username6 suck on that david coulthard.
⤷ yourusername he better be sleeping with one eye open
⤷ username11 got a degree and now thinks she's better than a literal racing legend
⤷ yourusername dude do u like need a hug or something? if i didn't know any better id think you were in love with me
username2 shes so unserious i love her
lilyzneimer congratulations gorgeous!
⤷ yourusername congratulations to you too lil <3
⤷ username3 hot girls get degrees 🤷 i don't make the rules
⤷ lilyzneimer still cant believe the girl that used to sleep in biology graduated university
⤷ yourusername me neither tbf
⤷ oscarpiastri same.
⤷ yourusername no one asked u vroom vroom
username13 what was your dissertation on?
⤷ yourusername net-zero carbon development in race mechanisms and engineering !
⤷ username13 oh you SMART smart
⤷ landonorris debatable
logansargeant well done! does this mean no more highlighters abandoned on the floor of williams hospitality?
⤷ alex_albon please say yes 🙏
⤷ yourusername but watching you trip over them was so funny 😟
ybfusername those 3am library trips finally paid off! 🙏
⤷ yourusername jet lagged delirium and caffeine i will miss u
⤷ ybfusername im so proud of us
lilymhe graduate, baker, sexiest woman alive - is there anything you cant do?
⤷ yourusername have a genuine interest in motorsport 🤷
⤷ lilymhe wait till they find out you fake an interest in golf too 💀
⤷ yourusername im only there to see u bbygirl
yourusername made a new post!
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yourusername here to watch my friends drive fast cars.
tagged: lilymhe, landonorris
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landonorris well, some of us drive fast cars
⤷ alex_albon what are you trying to say?
⤷ landonorris speak up a bit i cant hear you from the podium
username8 lando? yn?
⤷ username8 i feel like im interupting something
⤷ username4 can we let them just be friends and not ruin this pls
lilymhe oh we are so back
⤷ yourusername and we’re never leaving! <3
⤷ alex_albon oh god
⤷ logansargeant please no
⤷ yourusername fine, ill leave 😟
mclaren hope to see you in our garage soon y/n!
⤷ yourusername i have always looked good in papaya
⤷ username8 admin how much did lando pay u to say that?
⤷ mclaren 🤫
oscarpiastri williams take her back she keeps slapping my hat across the room
logansargeant you literally told me you're only here to get max’s autograph and sell it on ebay?
⤷ yourusername ok and?
⤷ maxverstappen1 poster or hat?
⤷ yourusername both please 🫶
⤷ maxverstappen1 bring a pen
⤷ username7 what have i just read?
⤷ maxverstappen1 im supporting y/n's financial endeavours?
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ridleymocki · 1 year ago
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(seeing so many bad faith interpretations of the argument, y'all are really going to make me do this, okay HERE WE GO)
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What Ed says: "I think last night was a mistake. I'm not ready for... Whatever this is."
What Ed means: "I didn't want last night to happen so soon or under those circumstances. Things are changing rapidly, which makes me feel out of control and scared."
What Stede hears: "I regret sleeping with you. I don't want the sort of relationship that you're after."
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What Stede says: "It was a fine fish. It was... whatever. I was just trying to make you feel good!"
What Stede means: "I only cared about the fish because you cared about it, and I care about you. I liked the fish because it made you happy. Ordinarily, I'm ambivalent about fish."
What Ed hears: "I lied to you. I didn't care about your achievement I was just placating you to get what I wanted."
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What Ed says: "Here's the news: I'm leaving. I got a job on a little fishing boat and I'm leaving. I'm a fisherman now."
What Ed means: "I think I need to be away from you to figure out who I am, because I haven't been able to do that while we're together, and your lifestyle now is the life I'm trying to leave behind."
What Stede hears: "I've made a decision to leave you and have a life without you. I don't value what we have enough to work with you to find a solution, I'd prefer to end it."
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What Stede says: "Oh, Ed. Seriously? You're not a fisherman."
What Stede means: "I think you're using this plan to escape and avoid your problems. It sounds like you're pretending to be someone else. It seems to me like an impulsive decision and I am concerned."
What Ed hears: "I don't support this ambition. I think you're incapable. I don't think you can be different from what you have always been."
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This is the kind of analysis done in therapeutic environments. When I put what they mean, it's not just a rephrasing but a boiling down to the core issue. I could go on to the rest of the dialogue but do you see the continuing ship-in-the-night miscommunication?? It's tripartite:
failing to express one's current emotional reality with the most accurate and clear language, often because that reality is not fully understood to oneself,
misinterpreting the other's language, due to preexisting sensitivities and defensiveness about one's own understanding of the situation,
increasing frustration and sense of personal attack that results from those misinterpretations, which perpetuates and worsens the poor communication.
Importantly, this kind of pattern means you miss the best and most important kernels of communication in an exchange because you're reacting to the more inflammatory parts.
Stede: "This can be whatever we want it to be." (I am willing to make changes to our arrangement so that you're happy). Ed: "I don't even know who I am! Alright? I know I don't want to be a pirate. And you, you're blowing up, you're the toast of the town." (I think we want different things. You're just starting a journey that I've already finished).
With those two bits alone they could've sorted this out. The first is the answer to the second. But they didn't -- couldn't -- latch onto it because all their other baggage was getting in the way.
And I'm being proven correct that this is what is happening, because I have seen next to nothing on here about the above two lines, only reactionary takes of fans also focusing on the inflammatory parts because of their predispositions. You're doing an encore performance of what they're doing.
Point being, there are no bad guys in this scene, just repeated system failure!
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jack-owo-valentine · 2 years ago
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