#I JUST WANTED TO TRY A NEW LIGHTING SITUATION

[mytherapyisreading14]

can you write a reader x professor!spencerreid? Reader is a Student & they meet the night before classes start & immediately hit it off😏 iykyk

kinda like aria and ezra from pretty little liars but with much more spice🌶

And the storyline kinda follows them through the semester, pls make it a bit angsty 🤏 BUT with happy ending 🥺🙏

Unexpected Surprise

Summary: You find out that the man you hooked up with last night is your new Professor.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Category: Smut (18+ MDNI)

Warnings: alcohol consumption, sexual harassment, fake dating, age gap, kissing, dirty talk, use of pet names (baby etc.), praise kink, choking, fingering, oral sex (f & m), orgasm denial, spanking, semi-public sex, unprotected sex (don’t do that), dom!spencer (If I missed any warnings, please tell me)

Word Count: 5,8k

Author’s Note: Hey, I hope you like the way it turned out. I was also planning to write a story where they meet before and then find out that he’s her Professor, so your Request came in just in the right time :)

The club is loud, the bass booms through the room and the lights flicker in time with the music. You're at the bar, sipping your drink as you take a little break from dancing. The sweat clings to your skin and you just need a moment for yourself. The air is heavy, mixed with alcohol and perfume and you consider going out to get some fresh air.

Suddenly you feel someone standing next to you. You smell the strong alcohol on his breath before you even see him. The warmth of his body is already reaching you across the room, and you have to lower your gaze to keep him from seeing you rolling your eyes. You know what’s about to happen. You feel his presence, and it's uncomfortable as he moves even closer to you.

“Babe, you look so hot. Do you want to spend the night with me?” The words come out of his mouth sharp and dirty, and he puts an arm around you as if he had already won you. An unpleasant feeling spreads through you and you try to avoid it, turning your body away from him. “No, not interested,“ you say, calmer that you‘re feeling right now.

But he doesn't let go, strokes your back, moves even closer to you and his voice becomes more urgent. “Come on, I can help you relax a little bit." It happens so quickly, you barely have enough time to breathe when you feel a new presence behind you. You turn to the side and see a man standing in front of you. His eyes are hazel brown and his long, curly hair falls over his forehead. His posture is confident, almost a bit protective.

“Let her go. She said no.” His voice is deep and calm, a contrast to the urgent tone of the man at your side. The guy next to you stares at the new man now looming in front of him. You can tell from the look in his eyes that he’s scared. You can practically see how small and insecure he feels as he moves away from you. He mutters something that sounds like an insulting comment, but he quickly turns around and disappears into the crowd again. You breath out relived.

For a moment everything remains silent, only the distant noise of the music can be heard. You look at the man who just saved you. His big brown eyes meet yours, and for a moment everything else around you disappears. He looks incredibly good. Then, realizing he got you out of the awkward situation, you send him a grateful smile.

“Thank you,” you say, your voice softer now. “Can I buy you a drink?” It somehow feels right to make this gesture to show your gratitude. He nods, a small, almost shy smile crossing his lips, and you can't help but notice how charming he seems. “Gladly,” he replies. You turn to the bartender and order two drinks as he sits down on a bar stool next to you.

You hand him the drink and introduce yourself. It’s really hard to stop staring into his beautiful brown eyes. “I’m Spencer. I’m really sorry that this asshole bothered you,” he says. You shrug unimpressed. “Sad truth is, I’m used to it. At least he backed off quickly now, thanks to you,” you say and smile. The night suddenly feels less chaotic as you continue talking to your unexpected savior.

The loud music in the background seems to fade more and more, as if you are immersed in your own little world. The conversation with him feels light and relaxed, almost like you've known each other forever. You've been talking about books for a while now, the two of you found out that you both love reading.

“And what was the last book you read?” you ask with an interested smile as you look at him. Spencer smiles and leans back a little, his gaze becoming thoughtful. “The last book I read was Bare Reflections.”

You take a sip of your drink and grin when you hear the title. “Sounds… not exactly like what I expected from you.” The alcohol creeps into your head and makes you a little braver than usual, so you decide to tease him, “I didn’t think you’d read a book like that. You seem far too decent for that.”

Spencer raises an eyebrow, and for a moment you're not sure if he's irritated or amused. Then he folds his arms over his chest, his posture becoming a little stiffer. "I had to read it for a case we were working on," he says, his voice still calm but now also slightly challenging.

“And what impression do you have of me? Do you think that I might not have interests in that direction? That I'm not able to take control in situations?“ A smile spreads across your face as you feel the tension in the air shift. You can't help but grin. It's a mix of amusement and a little challenge.

“Well, at least not like that,” you reply, looking at him cheekily. “Feel free to convince me otherwise.” And you wink at him, the words sound almost like a game. You see his pupils dilate as he looks at you. A little spark jumps between you. He pauses for a moment, as if considering how to react.

Then his posture changes, he moves a little closer, leans forward and indicates with his hand that you should lean a little towards him. You do, curious to see what comes next. As you lean closer to him, you feel his breath on your skin, and he whispers to you in a voice so deep and quiet that it gets right under your skin. “Let me convince you otherwise.”

-

Your alarm goes off way too early, but you just turn to the side and turn it off. You squint against the bright sunlight shining through the blinds. The last bit of sleep still clings to you as you slowly push yourself up and put your head in your hands. It takes a moment but then the memories of last night kick in. Spencer. The thought of him brings a smile to your lips. Last night was perfect. He was good. Very good actually. The best you've ever had. Luckily you still remember everything.

His lips against yours, his tongue inside your mouth. His body as he pushed you against the wall. His big, rough hands that squeezed your breasts, wrapped so perfectly around your throat and reached all the spots inside you that you never could. The way he manhandled you so perfectly, rough but somehow also gentle and caring in the right moments. The way he fucked you and used you for his own pleasure, making you a moaning mess. He ruined you for every other man.

But now he is no longer here. You glance at the other side of the bed, it's empty. No trace of him. Just silence. He left when you were still asleep. A little bit of disappointment stirs within you. You were hoping maybe he would stay after all. Maybe have a coffee with you, or just… be there.

The sex was good but there was more. You really enjoyed talking to him. But then again, it was only a one night stand. Today it's the first day at university anyway, it's better to leave early in order to be there on time. If he had stayed here longer you certainly wouldn't have come on time. With a sigh, you push the covers back and swing your legs out of bed.

The floor is cold. You take a look at your phone and check the time. It’s 10:45 a.m. Your first lecture is in just over an hour. You quickly put on a light jacket and then, half asleep, you make your way to the bathroom. You are still tired but the feeling from last night remains. At least this day is off to a semi good start.

You pack your bag, throw in everything you need, your iPad, headphones, lip gloss, some chewing gum and all the other stuff. You rush out of the apartment, bag on your shoulder and keys in hand. You get on the bus that takes you to university and the fresh morning wind blows in your face. It's the first day. You can't wait to see what it brings.

-

You sit at the front of the lecture hall, the place is comfortable, the view of the board is perfect. Your iPad is in front of you and you're doodling on it out of boredom. The conversations of the other students still chatting sound like a distant murmur to your ears. You are excited and nervous. The first day of the new semester, the first lecture.

The room is slowly filling up and the last students are still finding their place. It‘s almost 12 o'clock and you’re still waiting for your friend Finn to arrive. He slept in and you told him you’re going to safe him a seat. You hear the lecture hall doors open, but you hardly notice it. You are lost in your thoughts, thinking about how hard it will be to concentrate on the lesson when Spencer is the only thing on your mind right now.

Then, suddenly, everything becomes quiet. All the conversations around you fall silent immediately. It's like someone flipped a switch. You look up, not sure why, and then you see him. Your new Professor. Your heart skips a beat when your eyes meet his. Spencer. He is standing at the entrance to the lecture hall. For a moment time stops.

The Spencer you had in your bed last night, the Spencer who gave you orgasm after orgasm, the Spencer who made you scream his name is now suddenly your professor. A look of confusion crosses his face, but then he quickly catches himself, puts on his serious expression, and turns away as if he's trying to ignore you.

The tension is thick in the air, but Spencer makes no move to pay attention to you. You bite your lip, anger rising inside you. It hurts. You never thought he would just dismiss you so coldly. You try to concentrate on the lecture, but Spencer, now Professor Reid, brings back memories of that night. And you wonder how he manages to act like there's nothing between you.

Nothing happens throughout the entire lecture. No look. Not a single word. You fight your anger as he explains the first topic and requirements for the exams in a calm voice, but you don't hear anything. Your thoughts only revolve around what happened earlier. Why is he completely ignoring you? Does he think you’re not going to keep this a secret?

Finally, after what feels like forever, the lecture is over. The room slowly empties and you remain seated in your row while the other students leave the lecture hall. Your pulse is racing, but you need to know what's going on between you now. You want to tell him that he doesn’t have to worry about you spilling this secret. You can't just go home and let it go now.

You get up, pack up your things and walk towards Spencer. You have the feeling that every step you take now echoes throughout the room. "Spencer… I mean, Professor Reid, can we talk?" you call but before you even get to the front he has already packed all his things and leaves the room without paying any attention to you.

You stop, angry, hurt, disappointed. The lump in your throat keeps getting bigger. You feel empty, like the ground has been pulled out from under you. What is he thinking? Why is he acting like this now? Why can't you just clarify the problem? With one last look at the door, you leave the lecture hall and know that this is far from over.

-

The next few weeks are not different. He avoids you, ignores you completely and you hope your grades won't be negatively affected, but you're willing to take him on if it comes to that. You're on your way to your next lecture when suddenly someone calls you. You turn around and see Finn. You met him during your first semester and have been friends ever since.

Finn sprints a few steps until he is next to you and holds out your headphones. “You forgot your headphones in the library earlier,” he says. “Oh, thanks! I already looked for them, I thought I just forgot them at home again.” You take them out of his hands and quickly put them in your bag.

As you stroll through the hallway together, you suddenly hear Spencer's voice and automatically turn around. You see him holding a coffee and talking to another student. She laughs and you can clearly see her getting closer to him, flirting and throwing herself at him. You immediately feel panic rising within you.

Every girl you knew has a crush on him. You can’t blame them, he’s attractive after all, but you can’t help but feel jealous. He ignores you but lets other students hit on him. This is too much. Why does he play this game with you like nothing happened while he behaves like this towards others?

Suddenly he turns around and meets your eyes. It's the first time that your eyes cross again since he came in on the first day. You can see a fleeting grin on his face before he turns away again. He leans down to the student who is showing him her notes, and you can see her leaning even closer towards him. The knot in your stomach tightens.

Finn follows your gaze and raises an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued and with a look that almost seems too amused, he asks, “Are you okay? You look… hurt?” You shake your head. “I’m fine,” you say, even though you feel the fear bubbling inside you. You’re afraid he found someone better than you. "Let's go."

You enter the lecture hall together but you can't concentrate. Spencer is in your head the whole time, and the more you think about the scene, the angrier you get. And then suddenly an idea comes to you. A plan. A very good plan. Maybe you can play this game too and make him jealous, but on your terms.

After the lecture, you stay with Finn and wait until most of the other students have left the room. You look around once to make sure no one is listening before you whisper, “I need your help. But you have to promise me you won’t ask any questions.” Finn looks at you curiously. “Okay, what’s this about?”

You sigh and look him straight in the eyes. “I wanted to ask you if it would be okay with you if you helped me make someone jealous. Pretend you’re interested in me and dating me,” you explain to him.

Finn grins, a slight smile spreading across his face. “Of course I can do that.” Then he tilts his head slightly. “But I do have one question. Does this whole thing have something to do with Professor Reid? I can tell something happened between you,” he asks with an amused look.

You immediately blush and try not to get caught. “Shh, keep quiet,” you whisper, looking around nervously. “And I said no questions. So, are you in or not?” Finn laughs, shakes his head and raises his hands as if to apologize. “Okay, okay, I understand. Sure, I can help you.” You breathe out a sigh of relief and grin at him. "Thanks!"

-

A few days later you can finally carry out your plan. Finn sits down next to you in the lecture hall and as soon as Spencer enters the room, Finn leans closer to you and casually puts an arm around the chair next to you. Then he whispers in your ear. "I'm curious to see if that works."

Even though you said he shouldn't ask any questions, you told him what happened between you and Spencer. You know you can trust him and he would find out sooner or later anyway because he plays along with this whole thing.

You giggle softly. "I really hope so. Thank you for taking part in all of this,” you say quietly but you get interrupted immediately. "If you think you need to talk while I'm teaching, you can leave straight away. I expect everyone to be quiet,” Spencer says and when you look up you can see his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. You lean a little further away from Finn and can't help but smile.

That went faster than expected. You notice that he is no longer ignoring you. His eyes keep wandering over to you to see what you are doing, if Finn is getting closer to you. The atmosphere is not as relaxed as it used to be, everyone can tell the he is not in a good mood today.

When the lecture is over you pack your things and as you leave the room Finn puts an arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him. You can feel Spencer’s gaze following you and you're annoyed that you didn't think of making him jealous sooner. But it doesn’t matter now, you’re happy your plan works.

-

Unfortunately you weren't able to carry out your plan any further this week. Spencer has been missing the rest of the week and you assume he is busy working on a case with the team. It felt like the week wasn't going to end at all and when you go to the library with Finn on Monday morning, you hope that Spencer is coming back now.

You sit down at the table together with a coffee and start writing on your essays, using the free time to get ahead with it. You're completely focused on your work until Finn suddenly bumps into you with his leg under the table. You look up confused before he places a hand on your thigh and leans forward. He whispers in your ear "Your favorite professor is back.”

You nod and lean in closer too, you don't want to look in Spencer’s direction so that he thinks you haven't noticed him. “Is it okay if we kiss?” you ask and Finn nods. You try to ignore Spencer as much as he ignored you. But you can still feel his gaze fixed on you.

Finn leans forward and places a quick, gentle kiss on your lips. When he leans back he can see Spencer’s angry look. "He didn't look happy with it,“ he says and you laugh. "Then I did everything right. I hope that this was not too much. I'm sorry then." You say but he just waves it off. "It's all good, I agreed to the whole thing. I just hope that it works out for you in the end,” he says and winks at you.

The two of you stay a little longer and continue learning and working on your essays but after a while you decide to leave. You turn to Finn. “I'll leave now. I can't concentrate anymore anyway. And thanks for helping me out again.” You say, packing up your things. "No problem. I'll stay a little longer and use the time I’ve left. I'll see you tomorrow then,” he says and you nod. "See you tomorrow.”

-

It feels like a small victory as you leave the library. Not only have you made progress with your learning, but you have also been able to continue putting your plan into action. If you and Finn keep it up, Spencer will definitely talk to you about it soon.

Now you just want to listen to music and get rid of the remaining tension and you look for your headphones in your bag again. They must be somewhere between the notes and other things, you're sure you packed them this time. “Where the fuck are they?” you mutter under your breath and continue digging in your bag.

But then you suddenly feel a movement in front of you. You look up and freeze. There he stands. Spencer. Arms crossed, eyes sternly fixed on you. You immediately tear your eyes away from his and want to walk past him without saying a word, but he notices what you're up to. He's getting in your way.

“What do you want now?” You try to keep your voice calm, but inside your heart is already beating a little faster. The look he gives you is hard, almost annoyed.

“You will come with me,” he says. You cross your arms over your chest and looking at him as if you are really annoyed. "What's that supposed to mean? I have to go home.”

He shakes his head. “You’re coming with me now. We need to talk.” You roll your eyes. "Oh, do we now? And what exactly do you want to talk about, Professor?” Your voice sounds sharper than you planned. “You’ve just been ignoring me for the last few weeks. Do you even know my name anymore?” you ask him. “Why should I have forgotten your name?” he asks and raises an eyebrow.

“Because you‘ve been ignoring me since our first day here! I understand, I'm your student now, but I -“ you start but he interrupts you. You see his face harden, his expression becoming even more serious. “Not here. Come with me, now.” You feel a mixture of anger and nervousness building up inside you. You just want to brush him off, but somehow you also feel like challenging him.

“Make me,” you say, your voice challenging, almost mocking. You look him straight in the eyes, watching what he'll do next. He barely blinks, glancing quickly down the hall as if to make sure no one sees you. Then he suddenly grabs your arm. It‘s not a gentle hold, he grabs you firmly, dragging you behind him without another word.

“You should really stop messing with me.“ He sounds angry. “I like trouble,” you say with a smirk and try to pull away. But you feel his hand holding you tight. One last thought comes to you before you're dragged down the hallway. What the hell does he actually want from you now?

-

A few minutes later you are standing in front of his office and he unlocks the door. You go in and look around. It's the first time you're here, you never went to his office hours. There are a lot of books lying around and you take a look at the titles. Spencer, on the other hand, locks the door behind you. You're about to reach for a book, but he interrupts you.

“I want to talk to you. Sit down,” he says and points to the chair on the opposite side of the table. You think about it for a moment, but decide against it. Instead you stay in front of his table with your arms crossed. You want to get back at him for treating you like that, even if it's hard because you want nothing more than for him to kiss and touch you again.

“Oh now, after weeks, you want to talk. In case you haven't noticed, Professor, I've been wanting to talk for a long time. You were the one who disappeared straight away when I approached you,” you say and roll your eyes again. You are curious to see how long he will let you continue like this before he snaps.

He stands up and walks towards you in long, slow steps. When he stands in front of you he lifts your chin. He finally touches you again you feel a shiver run down your spine. His pupils are dark and you can see the lust in them you already saw the night you first met.

“Do you want to know why I didn’t talk to you, baby?” he asks and you can’t help yourself and nod. You need to know what he is thinking. He leans down and his mouth is directly against your ear. Being this close to him again turns you on immensely.

“All I could think about after this night was you - your gorgeous lips wrapped around my cock, your pretty pussy taking me so well and your sweet moans when I made you come. It was a shame that I couldn't stay longer in the morning to fuck you again. You've been on my mind the whole time after that night. And then I come in, for work, and you're sitting there. All I wanted was to bend you over my table and fuck you again,” he says before he leans back to look into your eyes again.

“But I was overwhelmed by the whole situation. It was my first day as a professor and I didn't want to risk getting fired. That's why I avoided you. I saw how much it bothered you and I have to admit, I liked seeing you so jealous when I was talking to other students, to see that I have this effect on you.” His face suddenly hardens again. “Until you thought you had to play this game with me too and make me jealous with your friend. I knew it from the beginning.”

You grin and decide to continue playing with him. “Oh, that doesn’t really matter to me. It still worked, didn’t it?” you say and then he finally snaps. He takes a step towards you and puts a hand around your throat, pulling you closer to him. "You've taken it too far. He kissed you, touched you, held you in his arms." His grip tightens, but you realise there is some hesitation, he’s still careful because he doesn’t want to hurt you.

“I can do whatever I want, professor. I am not your property,” you breath out and give him a challenging look. “No? You will be soon.“ He lets go of your throat, turns you around and bends you over his desk. “Actions have consequences and you will now see what yours have.” His words send a shiver down your spine and you shutter in excitement.

He notices and chuckles before he flips your skirt over and exposes your underwear. His hands roam over your ass, squeezing it before he pulls back and suddenly his hand comes down onto your ass. He just spanked you. You can feel a stinging sensation and it turns you on even more. “I’m going to remind you who you belong to. You’re going to count and take your punishment like a good girl, do you understand?” he asks.

You nod and he pulls you back by your hair. “Words, baby,” he says. “Yes, I - I understand.” He lets go of your hair and his hand goes back to your ass, grazing the spot he just spanked before and without a warning his hand comes down on the other side. You whimper and begin to count. “One.” His hand rubs the spot almost soothingly before he continues. You are getting wetter with each strike.

“You’re enjoying this. I can see how wet you are. I bet you missed me in the last few weeks, am I right?” he asks. “I did,” you admit before his hand comes down again. “Two,” you continue to count. “Tell me, did you touch yourself at night, thinking about me? How good I fucked you? How I made you come again and again, on my tongue and on my cock?”

He leans down to whisper in your ear again. “Because I did. I stroked myself at night, wishing it was your hand, your lips or your pussy wrapped around my cock. I couldn’t wait to finally have you again.” He admits before his hand comes down on your ass again. “Three. Yes, I - I did. I couldn’t stop thinking about you either,” you say and he chuckles.

“Just like I thought,” he says before he continues with his punishment. He turns your ass red and decides after ten strikes that you have enough. “I’m proud of you baby. You took it like the good girl we both know you are. You just need someone that discipline you sometimes. Isn’t that right?” he asks. “Thank you. That’s… that’s right Sir.”

Spencer grins and turns you around, finally pressing his lips against yours again. He taste likes coffee, toothpaste and cinnamon. It’s addictive. His tongue explores your mouth and you moan against him, pressing your body against his, roaming you hands over his chest. You remember every spot and every muscle like it was yesterday. It’s no surprise though because you had to think back to the night you spent together every evening.

Spencer starts kissing down your neck, making sure to leave a hickey there, just like he did the first time he fucked you. Your hands run through his soft hair, pressing him closer to you and when you give them a thug he growls. “Please, touch me. I need you,” you say, desperate for more. “Eager, aren’t we?” His hand slides between your legs and up your thigh.

When he finds your soaked panties he chuckles. “You’re soaked, baby. All this, just for me. Do you want me to help you out? Make you come on my mouth or my fingers again?” he asks and you nod before you breath out “Both please.” He laughs. “You really need me that badly? Then beg for it,” he says with an amused look on his face.

He’s clearly enjoying this. You don't care if you sound pathetic, you listen straight away to what he asked you to. “Please, I want you to make me come. Please fuck me with your fingers. Eat me out. I need you,” you beg. “Good girl,” he praises before he reaches for your panties and slides them down your legs.

As soon as you step out of them he grabs them and puts them in his pocket. Then he places you on his desk, presses your back down and leans forward to lick a stripe up your pussy. You moan and immediately reach for his hair again, pressing him closer to you. “Please, more,” you moan. His thumb teases your clit before he pushes two fingers into you.

Your eyes roll back and you bite down on your lip to keep quiet, which is really hard because he’s just too good. You feel everything, his tongue, his lips and the stubbles of his facial hair as he eats you out like a man starved. The combination of his tongue and fingers is overwhelming. You’re losing yourself in the pleasure quickly, feeling how your climax approaches.

Spencer however notices too and pulls back, his lips glistening with your arousal. “I didn’t give you permission to come,” he says and you whine. He just laughs quietly before pushing his fingers in your mouth. “Clean them,” he says and you obey. He watches you very closely and you decide to tease him more, the tip of your tongue strokes his fingertips. “Fuck me Sir, please,” you say and look straight into his eyes.

You can see the lust in them and he wastes no time and reaches for his belt, pulling his cock out. He strokes himself a few times and you can’t keep your eyes off him. “You like watching me, don’t you? Do you want to watch while I make myself come and leave you with nothing?” he asks and you immediately shake your head. “No, I need you.”

“Didn’t expect anything else from my little slut,” he says and slides his cock through your folds. You wrap your legs around him and he finally pushes in. You moan and he clasps a hand over your mouth to keep you quiet. “Shh, be quiet for now. I’m gonna make you scream my name tonight, but not here.” Your eyes widen. So this is not going to be the last time he fucks you.

You feel the relief, but you don't have time to think further about his words because he starts to pound into you. You missed this feeling so much and get lost in the pleasure. His hand wraps around your throat again, squeezing it, just the way you told him you like it. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good. I missed this. I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that night. And now I finally have you again. You’re all mine. Say it.”

“I’m - I’m yours. Only yours,” you say and pull him in for a kiss. You can still taste yourself on his lips. When he pulls back he slides out of you, flipping you over and bending you over his desk again. A few seconds later he’s already back into you, fucking you from behind. He slaps your ass again and you inhale sharply. It stings more than before now, you’re sensitive after the spanking.

He lets you forget about the pain though when he keeps hitting your g-spot over and over again. The new angle makes you see stars. “God, you’re perfect. So thight and wet. I could fuck you all night,” he says while his fingers keep digging deep into your hips, holding you thight. “You should see yourself. So pretty with your ass spanked red and bent over my desk, taking my cock like a good girl.”

You can feel that you’re slowly losing control. You just want to come, especially after he denied you earlier. “Can I - can I come now please?“ you whisper while he keeps thrusting into you. “I can’t hear you. Ask again,” he says and you can tell that he’s teasing you. “Can I come?” you ask again, louder this time. “Ask nicely, baby,” he says, driving you crazy. “I want to come, can I - can I please come?” you ask again, making sure to speak loud enough this time.

“No,” he simply says, pulling out of you and pushing you on your knees. “Open,” he says and you obey, taking his cock into your mouth. He pulls your hair into a makeshift ponytail and fucks your throat. You can feel his cock twitch and a few seconds later he comes inside your mouth. You swallow everything and look up to him, begging him with your eyes to finally let you come now.

He pulls you up and lifts your chin with his hand before kissing you again. “You did so good, baby. But you have to wait until we’re home. Because when I make you come again, I want to hear you scream my name. Can you do that for me?” You clench your legs together in excitement. “Yes. But can we leave right away then?” you ask and he laughs. “Of course baby.” He helps you collect all your things before the two of you sneak out of his office and through the hallways to his car to drive home.

[roseyodditea]

Insomnia - Lighter x gn!Reader

Summary -> 888 words on the DOT. Lighter helps you fall asleep Warnings -> None. Self indulgent tho. I am so tired and in desperate need for some warm cuddles right now

You shift underneath the scratchy knitted blanket, roll on the mattress pad that was too thin, move the pillow that was somehow too warm even when you flipped it over, trying so hard to fall asleep, but nothing was working. This wasn’t your cushy New Eridu apartment, this was a guest… shack… in Blazewood. You were thankful you were able to spend the night after losing track of time taste testing Nitro Fuel with Burnice. The problem? You taste tested Nitro Fuel with Burnice. It was 3 in the morning, the sun long set, and the chill across the desert settled in comfortably, and your chest hurt. 

You can’t take it anymore, rolling out of the bed and stepping out into cold air. A nice little walk to calm your racing heart and jittery body. You didn’t realize you were just pacing in circles until you felt a hand on your shoulder. 

“You alright?” The low voice asked from behind you, barely above the breeze in the night. 

You practically jumped out of your skin, whipping around to see the large man who had somehow snuck up on you. “Oh! Lighter, don’t scare me like that.” You punched his shoulder playfully and he dramatically rubbed it, acting like you hurt him.

“I am wearing a leather jacket that creaks when I walk. If I snuck up on you, that’s your fault.” He flicks your forehead, his eyes hidden behind the thick sunglasses even if it was the middle of the night.

You roll your eyes and look up to the sky for a brief moment before looking back. “I was distracted. And before you give me the whole ‘you can’t let your guard down in the outer ring’ bullshit, I know. I’m just…”

“Antsy.” He responds, arms holding your shoulders as he watches how your body jitters and shakes. “Burnice get you?” “Yea- Hey wait! Is that why you ran off today!?”

“No comment.” He smirks wider as you huff and pout. “Thanks for taking the fall.” He holds out his hand for a fist bump, which you begrudgingly return. 

“You owe me. Because my chest hurts and I can’t sleep.” You grumble, missing the look of empathy that washed over his face. 

“Back when I was a merc, I learned how to fall asleep anywhere fast. I can give you some advice?”

You try not to smile at the offer. Honestly with how he looks, you often forget how sweet of a man he really was. “That would be really nice, yeah.”

He places his hand on your back between your shoulders and guides you back into the guest house you were staying in. “Get in bed. That’s always the first step.” 

“You’re so funny, ya know?” You scoff and lay down, getting under the blanket, the fibers scratching your skin. 

“I know. Now take a few deep breaths, but don’t move any other part of your body.” He got up and started turning off the lights around you as you breathe. “Just try not to move too much, you want your body to relax, and tossing and turning will make you even more awake.” His voice drops, like he was trying to soothe you to sleep. 

“My heart feels like it’s going to explode. This isn’t helping, Lighter.” You sigh, defeated.

“What normally helps you sleep?”

You think for a moment, only coming up with an embarrassing answer. “Well… With my last partner, whenever they’d cuddle me it always helped me fall asleep faster.”

The silence was deafening, your heart now racing from the awkwardness of the situation, you didn’t even hear the sound of a zipper, buckles, and of leather moving. 

“I know that’s weird but I-” Your words cut off when you felt the mattress dip, a wall of warmth cupping against your back, a strong arm keeping the scratchy blanket off of your skin. “Lighter?”

“I’ve had Burnice, Lucy, and Ceaser hanging off of me for fun for too damn long now. This is nothing.” He said almost proudly. “I’ve got you. You can sleep now.” His voice was softer than you had ever heard it as he moved to place his sunglasses on the nightstand. 

“You’re a lot more soft than I expected.” You roll over in his grip to face him, seeing him in that black, torn up t shirt he wore under his leather jacket, his eyes unblocked for once. “Like… in the emotional sense, not in the… muscles way.” You cough awkwardly and he chuckles.

“Call me overprotective.” He responded and pulled your head to his chest, holding you close. 

“I’m not even part of the Sons of Calydon.”

“Eh. Honorary member.”

“...Can I borrow Red Moccus-”

“No.”

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep with his hand tracing your spine through your sleep shirt. He was warm, sturdy, and a wonderful rock in the sea of insomnia. Your sleep was the most restful you had gotten in a long time, your dreams peaceful, your sleep uninterrupted. All thanks to Lighter…

**********

…Well… Until the next morning. You were woken up by what you thought must have been an earthquake, or a train somehow passing by with the way the walls practically shook, only to realize it was a loud snoring coming from the chest beneath your head. 

Requests are open btw!

[httpuckdrop]

ashes – day 116

jack had gotten a bad hit.

sure, tackles and hits are just a part of hockey – but this one was worse than usual.

he wasn't even sure how he got himself into the situation, but during his game against the bruins, his head had been bent down far too much when he had tried to shoot off a pass along the barrier. when an opponent went in for the tackle, jack's head hit the boards in a nasty angle, and everything had gone black instantly.

the directions from the team doctors were clear: he needed to stay in a dark room, with no lights or loud sounds. he wasn't allowed to use his brain too much, since that would only worsen the concussion. no phone, no stepping outside the bedroom for at least three whole days.

thankfully, your apartment was the perfect place to keep someone who'd just gotten a concussion; the blackout curtains of your bedrooms were of the best brand, keeping the room perfectly dark during all hours of the day. that's why jack now found himself lying flat on his back on your bed, with his arms relaxing restlessly along his body, just as he had for the last 48 hours or so.

this wasn't the first time jack got a concussion. even back when he was a young player, he was too intense, too focused and too stubborn that he didn't care about the risk of injury when doing certain things on the ice, meaning that he had been forced to go through the boring process of recovering from head trauma several times. he recognized the feeling, and he hated it just as much as he had when he was still a teenager, when he was forced to stay inside while his brothers and friends could still practice. he wanted to do something, anything, but the pounding in his head limited his actions to pretty much none.

he felt helpless.

but even through the pain, there was one thing that made him smile.

you.

he was so thankful that you were there for him. he slept for most of his days, not having enough energy to stay awake for longer periods of time. but every time he woke up, you were there; reading him a book, telling him a story from your childhood, catching him up on the recent news. he was so thankful, because he thought he would have gone insane if he had to endure this all on his own.

"jack?" you asked from your side of the bed, voice hushed as it had been for the last two days. there was a small hum of an answer. "don't you want anything to eat? it's been…" you squinted, trying to make out the time from the clock on your wall. "seven hours since you had breakfast."

jack stayed silent, taking a few deep breaths before opening his eyes. "yeah, i think so."

your little nightlight, a lamp in the form of a fox in a far corner of the room, was the only source of light. jack could still make out your face clearly, probably due to the last two days of practicing his night vision. the concern on your face translated to worry on his, and then it was all just a downward spiral. you hated seeing him like this. jack was usually so energetic, so happy, so… tireless. seeing him like this really hurt you – and suddenly, you were back in your old mindset again. the pain and the worry and the anxiety all boiled up into one big soup of guilt. for the way you've treated him, for the way you care for him, for everything that has happened these last months. you stood up from the bed, about to make your way to the kitchen to cook something for him, but you stopped at him calling out your name in that raspy voice of his. "i'm sorry." when you looked back at him with a confused look, he spoke again. "for last week, for-"

"jack, it's okay." you shook your head at him, putting on a small smile. you didn't want him to worry about this now, not when his head was already overworked. "really."

now it was his time to shake his head – or, as much of a shake he could handle without his brain exploding from the jolt of pain shooting through it whenever he moved even an inch – and his voice was firmer when he spoke again. "no, please don't interrupt me now. i want you to hear that i'm serious about how sorry i am."

your heart fluttered like never before. not once until today had a man spoken to you like this. like you were someone worth apologizing to, someone worth fighting for.

"i am so sorry about pushing and pressuring you. i never should have." he took a deep breath. "you have your reasons not to trust me and not let me in, i understand that. however," his hand reached for your side, wanting you closer. "i also hope that in time, things might change. and i hope to stick along to find out if they do, without pressuring you, no matter how long it takes."

at this point, you wanted to throw yourself into his arms, bury him in kisses and hug the life out of him. but with the memory of his concussion still in your mind, you settled for leaning down to his height and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips for the first time in weeks.

maybe things would be okay, after all.

[skzdelf]

Broken Bonds| Bangchan

⭑PAIRING: Christopher Bang (Bangchan) x f.reader

⭑CONTENT: nonidol!Bangchan

⭑SYNOPSIS: Chris and you were always inseparable, best friends since day one of college. But things changed when he started hanging out with the wrong crowd, dragging him into a messy world of underground fights, drinking, and bad decisions that pulled him away from you.

⭑WARNING: mentions of weed/drugs, split lip, bloodie knuckles

⭑WORDCOUNT: 2,1k (2150)

You met Chan on the first day of college. It was one of those encounters that felt like fate. Both of you had shown up late to the same introductory class, panting after running up the stairs to the third floor.

“Does this happen to you often?” you asked with a nervous smile, trying to catch your breath as you stood at the door of the classroom where the lecture had already started.

He let out a soft laugh, the first of many that would eventually steal your heart.

“Let’s just say it’s not the best way to start the first day. But hey, I’m glad I’m not the only one in this situation.”

And that’s how it all began. From that moment on, Chris and you became inseparable. He was always there, with his contagious energy and easygoing laugh, ready to make you forget even the worst of days. You spent hours studying together, sharing meals, going to local band concerts, or just talking about life late into the night.

He was the kind of friend you could tell anything to—the kind of friend who would support any decision you made as long as it made you happy. Kind, affectionate, and thoughtful—it wasn’t surprising, considering he grew up in such a loving and polite family.

You loved how he saw the world, always looking for the good in things and constantly encouraging you to be the best version of yourself. To you, Chris wasn’t just your best friend; he was your favorite person, the safe place you could always turn to.

By your third year in college, you and Chris were still inseparable, just as you had been from the start. You loved spending time together, whether it was studying for exams or playing video games.

Chris often came over to your apartment, and you to his. He even had his own toothbrush at your place.

You stopped sharing all your classes with him when elective courses started. Out of personal interests, both of you chose different subjects.

BangChan was charismatic, cheerful, and above all, sociable. He loved meeting new people and hearing different perspectives, so it didn’t surprise you at all when, after his first elective class, Chris came up to you, excitedly telling you about the group of guys he’d hit it off with.

He mentioned their names, but you didn’t really remember them—or perhaps you just hadn’t shared any classes with them yet.

“They invited me to a small hangout at one of their places tonight. Is it okay if we move our plans to another day?” Chris told you as you walked down the hallway toward the parking lot.

“Just this once, I promise,” he added, his brown eyes lighting up with excitement and a big, warm smile spread across his face.

“Yeah, Chris, absolutely. Just don’t start replacing me with them,” you joked, playfully nudging his arm.

“Never, love,” he laughed, draping his arm over your shoulders and pulling you into a half-hug.

Oh, boy, how wrong he was.

Chris started hanging out with that group of guys more and more often. You’d had the chance to meet them a few weeks back when Chan invited you to one of the parties his new “friends” were throwing.

They were gathered in a small circle in the kitchen. Most of them were smoking weed, and some had scars on their faces—on their lips, eyebrows, or even knuckles that had clearly been poorly treated.

“Do you want some?” one of them offered, extending the joint toward you, his dark eyes fixed on yours.

Before you could politely decline, Chan stepped between you and the guy, throwing an arm over your shoulders.

“Nah, man, she doesn’t smoke,” he said, shaking his head and pushing the guy’s hand away from your face.

“And what about you?” the same guy asked Chan, taking another hit from the joint.

You weren’t sure if Chan did it out of curiosity or just to fit in, but he took the joint, put it to his lips, and took a long drag.

Your heart sank as you watched him exhale the smoke, his gaze distant and his posture relaxed, like the act didn’t mean anything. But to you, it meant everything. That wasn’t the Chris you knew.

“Chan…” you murmured, disbelief and disappointment clear in your voice, though it was barely audible over the laughter of the group.

He turned to look at you, hearing the tone of your voice. His eyes glimmered with something you couldn’t quite place—regret, guilt, or maybe just resignation? The silence between you two was brief, but it felt like the ground had been pulled from beneath your feet.

“C’mon, don’t be like that, sweetheart,” one of the guys said with a smug grin, laughing under his breath. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Chris avoided your gaze, uncomfortable, as he handed the joint back to the guy who’d offered it. He didn’t say anything, but his silence spoke louder than any excuse he could’ve made.

“Can we talk?” you asked, trying to keep your composure. You knew that if you stayed in front of those people any longer, you wouldn’t be able to hold back your emotions.

Chan hesitated for a moment but eventually nodded. Without saying goodbye to his “new friends,” he followed you to a quieter corner of the house. Once you were far enough away, you confronted him.

“What are you doing, Chan?” you asked, your voice steady but laced with pain.

He ran a hand through his hair—a nervous habit you knew all too well. “They’re cool guys, okay? I just… wanted something different, you know? Something out of the routine.”

You stared at him, disbelief washing over you. “Out of the routine? Is that what this is? Smoking? Getting caught up in whatever shady stuff they’re into?”

Chris sighed, leaning back against the wall and looking at the floor. “I don’t know… I just… I like hanging out with them, alright? They’re fun, and everything I do with them—it gives me this rush, this adrenaline I’ve never felt before,” he explained, his red-tinted eyes locking onto yours. You could tell the weed was already affecting him.

“We’ll talk when your head’s clear. Enjoy your party, Chris. I’m going home,” you said, disappointment heavy in your tone as you turned away, walking down the hallway and leaving behind the person who had always been your safe place.

After that night, things only got worse. Chan began ignoring your messages, sometimes not even reading them. He canceled plans he used to love doing with you. And in the rare instances when he showed up to class, he was distant, no longer sitting next to you but instead joining his new friends in the back of the room, where they did nothing but laugh and disrupt.

You grew genuinely concerned when he showed up to class one day with a black eye. He tried brushing it off, joking that he’d “walked into a door,” but you knew that wasn’t the truth.

He also stopped coming over to your apartment. There were nights when you didn’t even know where he was.

You both had your phone locations shared—Chan had insisted on it, saying he wanted to make sure you were safe. But now, he’d turned off his real-time location.

You started hearing rumors around campus about an underground fight club and drug exchanges. You hoped, with everything in you, that Chris wasn’t involved in any of it. But every time you tried confronting him, he’d shut you out, like there was an invisible wall between you.

“You don’t need to worry about me, alright? I’m fine,” he’d say whenever you tried to push. But his smile never reached his eyes.

But he wasn’t fine. You could see him slipping further and further away, and it made you feel helpless. You wanted to save him, but he didn’t seem like he wanted to be saved.

After weeks of him skipping class and ignoring your messages, you decided to wait for him outside his elective class.

When he came out, laughing with his group of bad-influence friends, his eyes locked onto yours. His face shifted from surprise to something that looked almost like shame. He hadn’t expected you to be there.

“We need to talk, Chris,” you said, crossing your arms.

His friends, standing behind him, burst out laughing, mocking you with exaggerated gestures. “Your girl’s mad, Chris,” one of them teased. “Better watch out!”

Chris sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. “I don’t have time for this right now, okay?”

Without waiting for your response, he turned and walked away, as if your words meant nothing—as if everything you’d shared didn’t matter anymore.

“Talk to me anytime, sweetheart,” one of his friends called out with a wink before following the group. Chris didn’t react, though he smacked the guy on the back of the head and kept walking, laughing with his new friends.

You knew you couldn’t force him to change. You couldn’t make him go back to being the kind, thoughtful, and loving person you’d met on the first day of class. But you also couldn’t stand by and watch him destroy himself piece by piece.

In the days that followed, your messages remained unanswered. You searched for him around campus, but he was always surrounded by that group, like they were a wall between you two. And when you approached, he always found an excuse to leave.

Each time he walked away, it was like you disappeared a little more.

You were curled up under your soft blankets on a rainy early morning when frantic knocks at your door jolted you awake. Who on earth would be pounding on your door so desperately at 3 a.m.?

Wrapping yourself in one of Chris’s hoodies that he’d left at your place, you shuffled to the door, bracing yourself against the chill in the air.

When you opened it, there he was—Chris, standing before you, soaked to the bone. His split lip, bloodied knuckles, and tangled dark hair plastered to his forehead painted a devastating picture.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” he whispered, his voice laced with desperation.

You quickly pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him. Guiding him to the couch, you hurried to grab the first aid kit from your bathroom.

Sitting across from him at the coffee table, you placed the kit on your lap, your trembling hands barely able to keep it steady.

You were nervous, scared. You’d never seen Chris so vulnerable or this beaten up before.

“What happened to you?” you asked, even though deep down, you already knew the answer. As you pulled out disinfectant and bandages, your hands shook with fear and concern.

Chris avoided your eyes. “I was an idiot. Got into something I shouldn’t have… another fight. It doesn’t matter.”

“You always mattered to me, Chris,” you whispered. Your voice was barely audible, as if raising it would shatter you completely.

He finally looked up as you began bandaging his hands, having already cleaned the blood from them. “I didn’t want to drag you down with me. That’s why I stayed away.”

“I was just trying to protect you, trying to make you see that this isn’t where you belong,” you said softly, your hands moving to hold his face as you gently cleaned the wound on his lip.

Chris closed his eyes, letting out a shaky breath, his face occasionally flinching from the sting of the disinfectant.

“You’re all I have. I just wanted to keep you safe from the black hole I was falling into,” he admitted at last, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“Chris, it hurt so much to watch you fall further and further, knowing I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I felt so powerless,” you murmured, tears finally spilling down your cheeks.

His bandaged hand reached up to your face, gently wiping away the tears. His eyes, filled with regret, locked onto yours, but there was something else in them, something raw and unspoken.

“I’m such an idiot. A complete idiot. I didn’t realize how much you meant to me. I didn’t realize that you… that I…” His words faltered, caught in his throat.

“That you what?” you whispered, your voice barely holding on.

Chris leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours. “That you’ve always been the girl of my dreams.”

That night, as you carefully tended to his wounds, the two of you began mending something far deeper—the bond that had been broken between you.

Chris didn’t promise to change overnight, but the look in his eyes told you everything you needed to know: he was ready to let go of that toxic group, ready to find his way back to himself—for you, and for the chance to keep you by his side.

⭑A/N: This fic is especially dedicated to Sofi, one of the best people I had the chance to meet this year and who is always by my side. I love you so much and happy birthday!

Also, a shoutout to @saradika-graphics, the creators of the dividers.

[writingwisterias]

Ruined

Part 2

Kidnapper! Leon Kennedy x AFAB!reader

Warnings: DEAD DOVE: DNE, SMUT MDNI, Dub-Con, Sonomphila, Oral (F receiving), Cow-Girl, Unprotected Sex, Degradation Kink, Implied Abuse, Manipulation, Light Intox Kink, Isolation

Read Pt1

Taglist: @rigorwhoring

had a thought couldn't shake it = pt2, Lighter on the tags this time but only going to get worse ;)

Nature was your only chance for a brief moment of peace, being able to watch the water flow freely in front of you from where you perched on a fallen tree without the fear of anything. Most of your fight had left, the fear of him doing something worse lingered in the back of your mind. His strength seemed endless like there were no limits he wouldn’t go to just so you understood that he can easily overpower you. Nothing in this situation was fair and it never will be so you have accepted that you should just deal with it. You had still yet to see the full extent of your kidnappers' anger – it wasn’t like you wanted to, after all curiosity killed the cat. With how obsessed he was with you it wouldn’t be like him to go that far. At least you hoped not. It was a good thing, you suppose, that his tolerance was high you guess. 

If you sat here for long enough it was like you almost forgot where you were or why you were here. The nature changed around you, fresh leaves appearing on the tree now that spring had come around. The leaf litter being broken down by the mushroom colonies that had now appeared, their spores dusted the air giving the rays of sun an ethereal look. Occasionally animals would appear on the other side of the stream, the new babies drinking for the first time. You were just enjoying the sounds and sights of your new home you suppose, it wasn’t one that you wanted but it wasn’t terrible. It was nice to be here, like this. Until you heard the twig snap - his boots thudding on the floor as he approached you. 

The plant life squashed, its future growth now relied on its own will to live. 

“It’s getting dark now,” Leon said from behind you. One of his new rules he’s implemented. No time after dark, not when he nearly had a heart attack when he couldn’t find or see you. The orange sky was your warning. You didn’t reply to him, you never needed to say anything after all what he said was final. You’ve had enough handprints on your skin to learn that lesson. At least he was gentle this time as you walked through the door, his hand was holding yours softly instead crushing each bone. 

“The sky’s pretty today” You said, watching the ground carefully as you walked next to him. Shoes were still a privilege you have yet to earn back after the last attempt to escape a few months ago so the last thing you needed was a thorn or cut on your foot if the opportunity did present itself. Leon nodded, stopping on the porch to observe the orange hues. They were always his favourite. It didn’t matter if the sun was rising or setting - if he saw them it meant he survived to live another day. 

You watched carefully as his eyes scanned over them, his features calm as they fluttered shut. He looked peaceful – thankful even. “Don’t you think? I always liked the sunset” You prompted. He glanced over to you. He always did this, like he still didn’t fully trust you since your last escape. Trying to find any hidden meanings in your words.  His grip tightened ever so slightly, afraid in his moment of weakness you might dash away again. Still never fully convinced you wanted to be here, like you were hesitant. 

Upon entering the cabin you could already feel the heat of the fire, the crackles filling the room. The dinner he had made was already set out in front of you, vegetables he had gone out to collect, the ones from the garden not quite ready yet. Venison that he had also previously hunted. 

You hated the way that smell was becoming familiar, feeling like home to you after so long being here. Dinner as usual was eaten in silence, he preferred it that way. Spending his time making sure you actually ate everything until he began to eat himself. Once the clinking sound of your cutlery against the plate was heard you would be allowed to speak again. “There were a few animals at the stream today” You spoke watching him as he began to eat. 

He was methodic and gentle as he used the knife on the steak, scoring his lines in the meat before pressing harder to carve it. The actions mimicked familiar situations you have been in with him. The scar was now angry and red, you caught it in every window reflection or the bathroom mirror. A branding of where you belonged, like a horse or cattle to a cowboy. “What kind?” He asked, his eyes bore into you but they never really seemed interested in what you had to say exactly. More like he enjoyed the simplicity and domestic feel of the evening. “A few deer and rabbits. If I stay quiet enough they linger”

Your nails picked at the skin on your hand, your once perfect ones now were often seen with bloodied scabs. Despite your acceptance of your situation, the doubts and guilt you once had with your forgotten life are now gone – you still grew nervous in his presence. His control and dominance never faulted, always masking an element of him that you knew haunted him. It always slipped when darkness greeted him, when he was forced to sleep. His mind is plagued by nightmares of a side of him you didn't know about and he hoped you never would. After all he considered you his salvation, the only good thing he has managed to protect and gain. Conversations like this, despite his lack of interest, meant a lot to him. 

“Maybe I should take you hunting with me then” Leon commented. Everything was always so violent with him, something innocent like watching animals always involved death eventually, little do you know that his whole life has been violent. Apart from the slither of love you have given him during sex it’s all he’s ever known. You smiled and nodded, not exactly agreeing but the idea of seeing more of the surrounding area is tempting. You never got far enough in your times of escaping, the trees always looked the same beyond the stream. “What’s it like? Hunting I mean.” You asked anything to stop the impending silence that lingered if the conversation went dry. 

Leon always assumed you wouldn’t be interested in stuff like that. He would never admit that he hunted in a way to keep himself trained around a gun, after all anything could happen. “Peaceful” 

Seeing him describe such a violent act like this made himself cringe, he had never liked the idea of death. He’s seen it far too often but Leon was a provider – a career. You needed to eat and he had the skills to make sure you have plenty of what you needed. Maybe showing more of the beauty that surrounded you would make you happier. Keep that smile that showed itself very little, there a while longer. That meant it was easier for you to gather your surroundings. It had only been a season since your last escape. You promised not to fight anymore but he saw the way you hesitated still when he kissed you. You grimace as you look upon the mark he left on your chest in the mirror. 

The hesitation was still there and until he got rid of it you would be limited. You didn’t need him to explain his answer further, it would open up questions you were sure would get you punished in some way. Instead you both continued to clean up, manoeuvring around each other like a practiced dance. Your hums filled the air such a sweet tune he enjoyed so much. He watched as you lost yourself in your own mind watching the night grow closer through the window. He wondered where you were, wanting to know every thought you had and collect it like a dream journal. You jumped when you felt his lips on your shoulder, sucking the skin softly no doubt leaving another mark. 

His touch was always so confusing. His lips were demanding, greedy to devour your sweet taste whilst his hands were gentle as they lifted you onto the kitchen counter. His fingers dug in the flesh of your thighs as he pried them apart, the nightdress you wore hitching up towards your hips as you displayed yourself to him. Leon nibbled at your thighs, each bite slowly growing closer to your clothed cunt. Yet, when he reached his destination he only smirked, eyes flicking upwards to see your face. Your brows pinched in pleasure, your teeth tugging on your lips silencing your whimpers as if they were a shameful thing to do. 

Like it was such a terrible thing to enjoy what pleasure he treated you with. You felt his rough fingertips graze along the hem of your underwear, playing with the lace. “Don’t silence yourself love, you know how much I love your pretty song” He chuckled. You whimpered as his nose pressed against the fabric that separated him from your pussy. You could feel the tug on the fabric as he inhaled your scent, sucking on the gusset gently to gather the first taste. An appetiser of what you had to offer. You could feel the hint of a smile grow on your features as he pulled the fabric away exposing you. 

His tongue had insane accuracy as he swiped at the arousal that was already pooling. His moan vibrated around you at your sweet taste, if only he had a drink in this flavour. Your legs trapped him close to you ensuring that he had no choice but to continue to devour you. Your pleasure caused his cock to throb in his trousers, the hardness of it almost becoming painful. He realized a while ago you didn’t mind the sex with him as long as your pleasure came first. If it felt like you were getting something out of it before him. You never saw the damp patch on his boxers when he would stand up and pull out his cock. The taste of you was enough for him, the thrill of betraying you with this simple realization had him orgasming first. The taste of you was always comparable to a Michelin star dessert. 

Leon could feel the clench of your walls around your tongue as he brought you closer to your orgasm. His nose nudged against the sensitive bud eliciting deep guttural moans that sent the blood straight down to his cock. Just when you were about to cum, to give him the sweet juices he craved daily – Leon pulled away standing in front of you. Your cheeks were flush, eyebrows pinched in frustration. Complaints lingered in your mouth but came out in pathetic pleads and begs for pleasure again. Your own fingers frantically help him undo his trousers and free his leaking cock. “So desperate. I still remember when you pleaded for me to not give it to you. All that time you could have been getting all of this pleasure. Just for what? To not ruin your pride?” He chuckled as he lined it up. 

It felt like heaven as he slid it through your folds, you watched the tip appear – red and eager already beading with his cum. His lips brushing the shell of your ear “Admit to me that you’ve always wanted it. Even when you squirmed part of you enjoyed it. Admit it” 

It was a command. One that if you refused he would withdraw the pleasure you were clawing for. “Please, I was a fool before. I need it Leon” You begged. He laughed as he finally sunk himself into you. Groaning as you moulded around him, the tightness of your cunt gripping onto him like the nails you dug into his shoulders. He never seemed to get close enough, there was never enough skin contact for you. Leon moved slowly at first teasing you before his own pleasure coursed through him in a demand to finish. The usual silence of the home was broken with your moans, the sound of skin slapping before with one final thrust he finished. Pulling away to watch the cum spill out of you. 

“Beautiful” 

You didn’t hear his words, not when you felt his lips suck against the scar on your chest. The skin now angry and pulsing. Always leaving a reminder, making sure you never forgot. Sex was weird, the casual act of intimacy for normal people never felt quite right for the two of you. There was still reluctance on your part – the palms of your hands always pushed against his shoulders shoving him further away. Your mind always outwardly rejects him whenever you know it or not. 

You wouldn’t get a shower tonight, not as his cum still dripped down your thighs. He always left it there to grow sticky, the smell permeating your skin like a scent claim. You could imagine the look he would give you in the morning when he wakes you up with his mouth again, the smell of him lingering on your skin. 

Your nightgown was replaced with a fresh one, the stark white showing off an innocence you weren’t sure you obtained anymore. Leon did however – of course he did. You hadn’t seen what he had, felt the bones crush in your body as you continued to fight no matter what because it was your job. 

The two of you laid away in the dark, your head resting on his chest listening to his steady heart whilst his finger brushed through your hair. How did you get here? Why did he have to choose you? You wouldn’t have wished this on any other girl but what was his incentive. What was his goal? Did he really want you to just live here, in this lonely bubble? Your thoughts were loud to him as they were everynight. You understood he explained the basics of why he took you, his admission to finally having something good in his life. To provide a happy ending for the both of you. He felt your breathing change as you grew frustrated. You promised him to not fight anymore, to give in and appreciate the life he's giving you. Leon wasn’t stupid, not anymore, he could tell you still had a spark of rebellion in you. He was just waiting for it to appear.

He thought before about telling you about the horrors that plagued his mind. AFter all, he had only given you a brief explanation over what his job was. The gruesome details of the event he had experienced left him with nightmares. The things he had faced now lingered in the shadows of the room or the corner of his eyes. Maybe he would tell you about the ghosts of his pasts, the one that smiled at him from the trees when he was alone. He wouldn’t let you turn out like them; not when he had the ability to make sure you never did. 

You were special, Leon knew that from the moment he sunk his fat cock into your pussy. You stretched and clenched around him in the most perfect way he immediately became addicted that first night he had you. You had to be claimed somehow – so feisty that first time it was a hassle getting you to stay still, a fuck like you was too good to let loose. He still had the photo after he fucked your mouth; it was your fault the cock slipped out of your mouth anyway. The tip was lined up perfectly as he rubbed his cock until his load drenched your face. The translucent substance looked so pretty against your skin, giving it a soft glow that suited you. Eyes still shut as it coated your lashes; it created the perfect opportunity to form that photo. God you were perfect for him.

You felt his breathing even out the soft snores slowly releasing from his lips. It only ever happened when he was on his back trapped by you, for your own sleep you slipped away opting to face the window and the impending darkness that lingered. It never scared you, the unknown. The idea that something will happen to save you was one you clinged onto for comfort. You might have lost everything, became some mystery to the outside world but you knew your story wasn’t finished. Even if it was the reaper that came to write your final ending, that the darkness outside would sneak inside to take you away. Away from him. Unlike Leon the darkness didn’t scare you. 

His whimpers woke you up, the sheets ripped from your body as he shot awake with a sense of urgency. You didn’t even get time to react to the blinding light as he turned on the lamp beside you. His frantic eyes scanned the room silently getting rid of any danger that lurked in the corners. Until they fell on you. Your body looked so small in the sheets, eyes slowly adjusting to the light as well as his panicked form. His hands shook as they touched you, holding your shoulder tightly. “Leon-” 

You were cut off as he brought you into his arms, burying you in a hug. His scent intoxicated you, his skin layered with a sheen of sweat. You could feel him press kisses in the crown of your head, his mind using you as a grounding point. There was nothing you could do, you waited for his grip to loosen. The pain that flared along your skin was just a sign of more bruises to litter there in the morning. The tender spots would be hard to forget like always. Part of you felt sorry for him seeing him this affected by a dream. You would ask if there was anything more you could have done or if there was something in particular he needed. 

He was a horrible man, one that has stripped you of the essence of yourself but no one should be hunted in their dreams. Having nowhere to escape in a vulnerable moment. It was only when his grip loosened you spoke. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

It was normal to do that, he knew this. It's what normal couples do to comfort and talk to each other about what happened in their dreams, even the bad ones. He pulled away and looked at you, the sleep still lingered in your eyes. You slowly blinked them at him. He could tell you, perhaps in this state you would forget not to use his dream against him in the future. Allow a moment for his control to slip but that was riding on the fact you would forget. He knew you…you wouldn’t forget not with something like this. “You don’t need to worry about me” He spoke instead. It was strange to see the inner conflict so visible on your face as you had a silent conversation. You were never this expressive with him unless he was pounding his cock into you. 

“Does it happen often?” You asked again. Leon nodded his already messy hair now falling over his face. “Tonight was the worst. In a long while at least” 

You believed him, most of the time he woke up and snuggled back into you as if you being here actually helped him. Tonight however he jumped from bed, holding you desperately. It was different, the air had shifted. “I can make you tea tomorrow, it’s meant to help with sleep. I used to make it.” 

Your offer wasn’t instantly rejected which surprised you, maybe his troubles with sleep were worse than he led on. Leon nodded again, a smile growing on his lips at your offer to even help him. Maybe it was slowly developing into something he wanted, that time alone with just him was enough to ensure you created a bond with him. “Is there anything in particular you need?” He questioned, the house was stocked and he made sure of it. The kitchen had shelves of herbs and spices, in those cute little house jars that he assumed you would like. 

He didn’t tap into your devices for no reason after all, he wanted the perfect life for you. To spoil you with everything you wanted. He saw each little post you made online about how they made you feel, about how much you wanted to leave. Your pinterest boards filled with your dream items, the style you wanted, the hobbies or house decoration. He read it all like a book, like it was his daily news. It hurt you still didn’t notice or appreciate it all. “Valerian root, Lavender, Chamomile. I can forage for most of it, there might be some in the woods” 

He nodded, his heartbeat was steady again, a united front to prevent you from seeing too much. You had already seen enough weakness. “I’ll see what I can do” 

It was the next morning he approached you with the idea of going out further into the woods, you had told him the only one native was Valerian root. Also rumoured to be the most effective in achieving a deeper sleep. Leon would be lying if he said he didn’t feel unnerved with the idea of falling into a deep sleep, it had been so long since he’s not been plagued by nightmares and had a full body reset. Part of it felt nice, beginning to be able to just feel his muscles slightly looser in the morning. Maybe his head will be clearer and he’ll stop being so paranoid. He was aware of the effect lack of sleep had on a person – he just never had the ability to ease it. 

It shocked him last night at your admittance to using the tea yourself. Since you have been living here there was no evidence of your bad sleep. Perhaps that was another thing he has helped you with – his presence next to you at night fighting the nightmares you have now forgotten about. It was an unknown privilege to you that he no longer had to leave for the longer missions. It had been months since he was called into office. 

Leon knew how to make the activity harder since he insisted you held his hand the entire time. This was the compromise, he wanted you naked again – stripped bare so you wouldn't even think about leaving him. His hand was warm at least, a reminder that if you dared to edge closer to him you would feel the warmth of his body, a stark contrast from the morning frost. “I see why you like coming out here so much, the sun looks…magical” He spoke. You looked at him surprised to find his features relaxed, his eyes briefly closing just like he did yesterday evening. As if in his darkness the sun was his only light but now you caught him looking at you more, like you actually had an impact in his life. As if you helped him. If only you could know how. 

Your eyes remained firmly on the ground once he caught you looking at him, blush creeping in on your features. It wasn’t that Leon was unattractive that’s what confused you. He was fine until you miss behaved, you’ve learnt which of his buttons not to push and which of his moods to avoid to make your life easier. And yet still, you longed for that boring job which gave you endless headaches. The small meaningless things in life that still somehow gave you joy. He took that from you. You have learnt how to live without it, yes but part of you still craves it. 

“Your brain is working too hard again. Why?” 

He tugged on your arm, pain flaring as his grip tightened to halt your movements. You blinked at him like a deer in headlights. “I–I was just thinking about you” Your voice was quite unsure like you were aware of the hole you were digging yourself into. “What about me?” His smirk was suggestive, an eyebrow quirked up in amusement. Blush coats your cheeks as you attempt to think of any form of answer. “Um…s–sex?” Was that the best you could come up with?  

He barked a laugh, your response clearly pleasing him as his grip loosened slightly. “Never thought I’d see the day” His response was teasing. You felt your cheeks heat up, becoming flustered as you then began to actually think about him and sex. Heat pooling in between your legs. It wasn’t normal to feel like this, you shouldn’t. He was a horrible man – that’s all he should be left as. 

“I’ve found some” You muttered after a short while, pointing at the white flowers that decorated the stem you needed. He nodded, taking the combat knife that always stayed strapped to his hip. The green hilt was frayed and damaged - evidence that he has had it for many years. He let go of your hand briefly, watching you with an intense stare before walking around to the side of the plant so he could still see you as he cut it. “It would be pointless running away whilst you are right next to me” You spoke. It had been a while since the both of you had spoken about your old habit. He shrugged, watching you more carefully now. “I wouldn’t put it past you”. 

He was right, this was your first act towards loyalty that wasn’t just following his rules. You were optionally helping him, using your knowledge to treat him from unknown horrors to you. It was something he hadn’t expected from you. Not for a while anyway. “I like this. Being here. I just wish I could see or do more” You admitted. Leon nodded, perhaps it was time to allow you to have some freedoms that didn’t involve you sitting on the log opposite the house. Maybe you could learn how to sew or knit and begin filling the house with things that you made. Finally turning it into a loving home, warmth coming from something other than the fire that you both watched at night. You couldn’t tell what was going on through his head, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to. “It makes me happy to hear that” Was all he responded with accompanied with a gentler smile. 

Your usual routine was pretty much the same, your outside time was cut short from the orange hues. He didn’t hold your hand this time, he allowed you to walk next to him without guidance. It felt nice to have this small display of trust but your fingers itched for the warmth of his. To feel the rough skin on his palms against yours. 

After dinner, you boiled the water in the kitchen for you to make the tea, the valerian root was already grated ready for use. He watched as you prepared it, tasting it for yourself with a small sip on the side of the mug. Hands flickering over the spice jars to add what you thought it needed. You had a small smile when you presented it to him after dinner, the fire crackled behind the both of you. “We can go to bed when I start to feel sleepy” You nodded, understanding that he wouldn’t want you walking around the house whilst he slept. You still had to wake him up to let him know you were going to the bathroom at night. “And you are sure this will help?” He asked, swirling the liquid in the mug. It wasn’t like you could poison him, he had watched you prepare every step from where he sat at the table. “It should help you fall asleep. It won’t knock you out like a sleep med” You said, smiling softly. 

That was a good thing he supposed, eliminated one of his fears. You both moved to the fire, sitting on the sofa watching the flames dance around each other. The wood burns brightly leaving only the embers and ashes. To his surprise you leant on his shoulder. You had never done this before; maybe it was because he was finally trusting you and in return you trusted him. He watched the shadows dance along your features, your hair falling on his shoulders. You felt him tug you closer, silently offering a sense of protection. “Why are you crying?” He whispered in your ear. You hadn’t even noticed you were, the tear was a silent scream from the inside that this enjoyment was wrong. You shouldn’t want to be near him and be held like this, but your longing for freedom was fading.

It has been so long since you have been held, being able to weep in someone else's arms, not the pillow you used at night. “I’m not sure” you whispered, sitting up straighter to look at him. To watch his reaction. Instead of anger or disappointment genuine care laced his features. The last time you saw this look was after one of the first escape attempts and you tripped over a log. Your cries of pain hurt him deeply back then, now they were just another sound to him. Most of them coming from his punishments anyway. “Maybe sleep will make you feel better” He cooed. You nodded, holding his hand optionally. 

Leon felt the effects of your tea pretty quickly it seemed, his arm now dead weight against your waist. You watched the net curtain blow in the wind, the breeze that leaked through the small gap. You turned to face Leon, watched as the soft snores slipped through his partially open mouth. He was peaceful for once, nightmares that normally plagued him finally left him alone. Your finger poked at him, prodding him gently. He didn’t move, didn’t react. Normally his eyes opened immediately. He had never been a deep sleeper, you knew this from when you tried to chance an escape at night. Perhaps it could work this time. 

The floor was cold against your bare feet but you took no notice as you began to creep out the room. The front door was now in sight, as you crept past the dying fire that had now reduced to embers: to you, this was the prettiest part of a fire, burning a bright red, waiting for the opportunity to ignite again with the right fuel. Nobody ever thinks to drown them out with water, they just assume that they’ll burn out on their own, but that's how most fires restart. It just takes the right conditions for it all to spark up again…

Your hand gingerly touched the freezing knob, turning it slightly. It was unlocked. This was your chance surely? A sign you could finally get a good enough headstart and escape or die somewhere in the woods. Finally get away from this place. 

You couldn’t move, it felt too good to be true. The door was ajar, the cold breeze was harsh on your bare toes. You had finally settled here, everyone back home would have forgotten you by now. He would just find you again, he was a government agent. You couldn’t hide from someone like him. You would only be dragged back and your hard work to get him to trust you would be pointless. Your eyes glanced at his boots placed neatly next to the front door. The laces loose incase he needed to slip them on quickly. It didn’t take much to tug them out, holding the ribbons of fabric in your fingers. You closed the door, turning back towards the bedroom. 

Heat and excitement blossomed in your stomach alongside the fire, which now had a new lease of life, rejuvenated by the breeze. As you sashayed through the bedroom door, you noticed Leon now lay on his back. His chest is still slowly rising and falling with his sleep. He didn’t wake when you sat back on the bed, your knees pressed against his chest nor did he when you began to tie his wrists to the bed frame. You didn’t care if the string bit into his skin, he could have marks like he gave you when he first did this. You looked at the permanent red bracelets that now decorated your skin. Maybe you could carve your name onto his chest, give him the same treatment as you gave him. 

You felt the tears this time. What happened to you? You were just like him. Thinking of every way you could hurt him like he did to you. You weren’t any better. 

Not ignoring the heat that pooled in your stomach you hovered above him before sinking on his lap, feeling his soft cock underneath you separated by the duvet and underwear. He was vulnerable like this. Just as you were before. When he took you all those months ago. Leon broke you into the person you were now. Your family wouldn’t want you back, not after him. Not with these ugly scars that now littered your body, his stupid initials branded onto you. You were his now, there was no point in denying it. 

You moaned as you rubbed yourself along the length of him, feeling it harden even in his sleep. His need and reactions to your body only spurred you on more. There wasn’t anyone else that would react to you like he did; Made you feel like they needed you to just breathe. Your fingers shook as you pulled the fabric away, sliding his boxer along his legs exposing the length you now craved. Your eyes flicked towards his face, watching as his eyebrows pinched together slightly now his tip was exposed to the cold air but he didn’t wake. Your finger ran along the slit of it watching as beads of cum replaced the ones you wiped away. Even in his sleep he was desperate for you. Craving you. You slipped your underwear off, the nightdress discarded as well. The white fabric didn’t suit you anymore. Not after this. 

You whimpered as you sunk onto him, feeling yourself stretch and mold to accommodate him. His hangs tugged at the laces you began to move, eyes blinking as he panicked. Leon’s groan was wonderful, they always were. You were in control, it was exciting. He was whimpering beneath you. Your hips continued to wake him up, the slow circles causing him to tug at the restraints until finally he stopped. You faltered as he stared at you, keeping eye contact with you as you continued. “What is this?” He said, a slow smirk beginning to grow on his features. “Have I corrupted you? Tainted your soul to be as dark as mine?”  

You shook your head, the pleasure building up slowly as you continued to use him. He stopped tugging, stopped trying to break away. Eyes fluttering shut each time you lifted yourself along his cock only to slam it back down. “I thought you’d run away, finally get a head start but you finally figured out there was no point didn’t you” 

You jumped as his hand caressed your thigh, it shouldn’t be there. It was…tied up. Leon’s eyes darkened as you looked back at his wrists. “You were so close, love but don’t fool yourself now” He chuckled. You sped up, trying to finish before he ripped it away. Your desperation only fuels him further, his hip joining yours in an onslaught of pleasure. He couldn’t have given you this slither of power. Once chance to finally take what you wanted. No. That would have gone to your head, made you think your plan worked. You used his weakness against him. The fight has never left you now. No matter how many times you told him it had. That he had broken you down to this weak person who wouldn’t betray him anymore. 

“Please…just let me finish” You whimpered, you needed the release that was coming from your own doings. Your own pace. To enjoy the slither of freedom you gave yourself. He only smirked. “Leon– please” 

“Such a whore now. Begging for your release. I know it’s because you gave it. You made it happen” 

You whimpered again, nodding. Cursing yourself as your hips began to falter now the pleasure was getting too much, tethering yourself on the edge of overstimulation. “Such a whore for the bad man” 

He stopped, his fingers gripped at your hips holding you in place. He couldn’t give you this, you would do it again and again. He’d rather suffer in his nightmare than allow someone else take control of his choices, his life. You were flipped onto the bed. Head dangling off the edge causing the blood to rush there. Leon was unforgiving in his pace, his pelvis hitting yours and it turned into pain. Each thrust felt like a spank. Your hands gripped at his, desperately holding on as you became fuzzy. He felt your orgasm, the force of it pushing his cock out harshly. “I was wrong to trust you, to think you were changing and understanding what I do for you” 

You whimpered attempting to lift your head to look at him but his hand landed on your neck. Holding it in place. He was doing it wrong, crushing your windpipes instead of the blood circulation. You panicked squirming beneath. “After months we are right back where we started. If you had seen the things I have you wouldn’t. You would hide here like a good girl and be grateful for this. That you are alive to experience it” 

Leon finished with a grunt, his hand closing around your throat as he fucked his cum into your over senstive pussy. When you finally raised your head he stared back at you, his eyes dark daring you to do something. It was tempting. To become this little brat he couldn’t contain. “Continue like this…and see where it gets you. You are already becoming twisted using me like that” 

“Just took inspiration from you” 

He didn’t appreciate the bite in your words. You watched his fingers twitch each digit clenching into a fist and then relaxing. Your hips hurt, your throat hurts. He had ruined you now, your soul and actions just as bad as his own. He wasn’t wrong. It just made it all the more exciting.

[seokminfilm]

longing to long for him ♫ lee seokmin

♫ pairing, lee seokmin x reader ♫ warnings, non-idol au, ceo au, husband seokmin, reader and seokmin have a baby girl, angst, hurt/no comfort, one allusion to being nude ♫ synopsis, you hate the feeling of being so close yet so far away.

♫ author's note, trying out a new layout! let me know your thoughts on it 🤍 been listening to same dream, same night, same mind by svt and suddenly had this urge to write something angsty with seokmin so here you go!! hurt no comfort too?? am i going insane?? (yes)

♫ now playing, same dream, same night, same mind, seventeen

♫ word count, 1.8k | for @kstrucknet

"welcome home, seokmin." your voice feels empty as you speak, but you bypass it, allowing your husband to bring you into his chest for a equally-empty hug.

being married to lee seokmin came with its ups and downs.

as the hardworking ceo of his own corporation, passed down to him by his grandfather, he always had a full, busy schedule. when seokmin wasn't busy in his office at home, he was on the road, driving from one meeting to another from sunrise to sunset.

as the youngest couple in the midst of seokmin's business partner circle, you were used to the so-called "advice" the older, married ladies would share with you at company dinner parties, as if it made the reality of your situation any better.

"there's no more time for love or play, now that mr. lee is climbing the ranks. you might as well get used to loveless nights, overdramatic reactions, and distant conversations. it happens to the best of us." one lady had said while stroking your back as if you were a miserable cat, and your skin boiled with anger, hoping that the lady would just drop dead.

the night you and seokmin had said "i do", he had laid down in your untouched hotel bed beside you, face and body still warm from the wedding's festivities. the sparkles in his eyes still haunt your memory to this day, and you could remember his sentence word for word, the feeling of his soft hand on your cheek as he looked into your eyes.

"no matter what happens from now until eternity, you'll always be on my mind."

that sentence was simple, but complex enough to make you teary eyed as seokmin hugged you, body engulfing yours as the sheets seemed to protect you from the harsh cold─the harsh cold being life without lee seokmin in it.

now, all you could feel was that cold.

"how's mihan?" seokmin's voice was tired, layers of disappointments and annoyance seeping into his words. his eyes were tired too, gaze harsh as he stripped himself of his shoes.

his styled hair was still flawless from this morning, and the sharp point of his nose was highlighted by the light shining down on him as he looked at his sleeping baby girl in your arms. she had your eyes and his nose, resting peacefully in her swaddle as you sighed, giving a small smile if only for her.

"she's doing okay. she's been sleeping all day." you say, and seokmin nods, sighing as he leans against the countertop. he stares up at the light, eyes unflinching as he shuts them tightly seconds later. the sigh that leaves his lips is felt, and your heart falls a little bit more, watching him bypass you without another word and disappear into your shared bedroom.

it hurts to see him leave without another kiss or tight hug like he used to do. as much as you wanted to ignore the warnings given to you in the early stage of your marriage, they were like bright stage lights, illuminating the things even you wanted to deny.

love used to be such an integral part of you and seokmin's marriage, and now, no matter how hard you looked or tried to pretend, you couldn't see it anymore. you couldn't remember the last time you or seokmin had said the phrase 'i love you' without sounding tired or empty, and it made your heart ache.

tears pricked the corner of your eyes as you walked to your bedroom, and mihan stirred in your arms, lips turning into a small smile as her tiny fingers clung to your shirt─the faded smiski tee seokmin had let you have the first time you had come home with him.

even he didn't recognize the shirt now. that, or he just didn't care anymore.

sitting on the bed after putting mihan to bed in her crib just a few steps away from you, you wipe the now freely falling tears from your eyes, wedding ring glinting on your finger as you chew at your lip, falling silent as the shower turns off in the bathroom.

soft piano lullabies play from your phone to calm down both you and mihan, and you sigh, turning away from the door as it opens to reveal seokmin's fresh face and toned figure, sweatpants thrown on around his waist as he scrubs his face dry.

your eyes meet for a second, taking each other in, and for a moment, it feels like old times again─the shyness you feel rising up in your body is just like when you saw seokmin nude for the first time, and it makes you turn away again, holding back fresh tears.

seokmin cleans up his mess, throwing his suit in the clothes hamper as he combs his fingers through his wet hair. his dark brown eyes seem to have more shadow under them, and he slowly makes his way to the bedside, crashing onto the sheets without a second thought.

silence goes through the room like a blaring siren, suffocating in nature as you look over to your husband. he's already fighting sleep, letting the silence and drip of the showerhead lull him to dreamland. his face is relaxed now, eyes half-lidded as he meets your gaze.

something lingers behind his eyes, but you don't know what, and before you can work up the courage to speak, he falls asleep, leaving you to long for him even more.

how long would you be longing to have lee seokmin back?

[poorrichardjr]

When it Happens

American democracy is teetering on the edge of collapse. Anyone with half a brain can see it. Regulations that keep the government in check are being thrown out; everyday government workers are being fired because they aren't loyal enough; and an unappointed billionaire has a group of young men gathering as much financial information as possible on every single person in the country by raiding government computer files.

The lawsuits have already started, but more than a few people are saying who cares. More than a few people with knowledge of the people at the heart of these things have already hinted that the people in charge are just going to ignore any ruling that tells them to stop.

We have large amounts of governmental police forces starting to gather up as many people as possible who are "criminals." Their crime is simply sometimes just being brown and in the wrong place at the wrong time. They said they were only going after the bad people, but they forgot to mention that anyone who is not pure lily white could be targeted. From military veterans to Native Americans, it doesn't matter who you are if you don't look "American" enough. Protests are being scheduled against these actions, but again the people in charge are just going to ignore them or shrug their shoulders. No one is going to make them stop doing what they want.

It is coming down to a moment of strength. A moment of decision. A moment that will either doom American democracy or finally light the fire under the people to decide to fight for what they say they love.

Americans all across this country are generally complacent people. As long as they can live their lives without too much interference, they are willing to accept a lot. Still, I believe, under all that lazy complacency, there is a steel core that eventually gets hit. Sooner or later Americans say enough is enough, and they begin to stand up to fight. As Churchill once stated when talking about America, "They will do the right thing, eventually."

I only have one concern. How many will finally say they have had enough? As long as that number is only a bit here and there, the government will easily squash or ignore any complaints. Even a million people isn't going to be enough. News media and the government will just paint those people as "liberal agitators." Even supposedly liberal media probably won't describe the situation accurately because they will fear being targeted by the Trump administration and conservatives.

However, all of this boils down to the moment things become violent. It is going to happen. It will almost certainly start with police forces using excessive force to contain or disrupt protestors. How will the people react? Will people become violent in return? Will gunfire start? How far does this eventually go, and where will the majority of people align?

A moment is coming. It will happen. When the people in power cannot be held in check or willingly disregard any authority that tries to limit them, something has to break. I expect some people will try to fight back, but a government that is willing to ignore other sources of authority within our system will have no problem stepping over the bounds of decency when it comes to controlling the people.

[uniquexusposts]

Her || Charles Leclerc

Main characters: Charles Leclerc x OC Genre: fanfiction, fluff  Story type: novel  Part: 34/? Word count: 2155 Co writer: @mistrose23

Story summary: Matilde Jørgensen, the new Scuderia Ferrari team principal, faced the nerve-wracking challenge of reviving the team's fortunes and aiming for a championship. Leading a historic team as a 'newbie' and separating her work and personal opinions posed a significant challenge. The big question: is she capable to do so?

Previous chapter

Chapter 32. Work, Noodles, Sleep, Repeat

Galileo and Matilde entered the hotel after a busy first two days during the Singapore Grand Prix. The night was warm and humid, a stark contrast to the air-conditioned coolness of the hotel lobby. It was late. They were living in the Singaporean time zone, but they were operating in the European time zone. Confusing, but also nice because there was no jet lag to deal with.

"I'm gonna go for a cigarette," Galileo announced as they walked across the polished marble floor. Before Matilde could comment, he added, "I'm trying to quit. But I'm longing for it so badly."

Matilde threw her hand up in the air. "I'm not judging you." For a moment, she was deciding if she should join him or not. "I'm actually gonna join you." She pressed the button for the lift. "If you don't mind."

"Sure, you do you," Galileo replied with a shrug.

They made their way to the top floor, where there was a rooftop bar and also a smokers area. They stepped outside into the warm night air. The city was still alive, lights reflecting off the skyscrapers, the faint hum of traffic in the background. Galileo put his bag on the floor and grabbed his cigarettes. Matilde was leaning against the railing, taking in the city. It was a habit from Galileo to offer a cigarette to the person who was with him. As he stuck the package to Matilde, he knew he could expect a no.

But to his surprise, Matilde accepted his offer and took one of the cigarettes. He didn't say anything about the sudden situation. They both lightened the cigarette and both took a drag.

"I did not know you smoked, Matilde," Galileo broke the silence.

"Hmm," she hummed and blew the smoke out. "I don't."

He looked at her and raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, right."

"Sometimes... Whenever I feel like it," she answered his question. More like stress. "It's bad, I know."

"Hey, who am I to judge? This isn't my first one."

She smirked. "How's Gino?" Their eyes met, and she spotted a small spark of panic, but also a bit of shyness. "You can bring him more often, if you want to. Just let me know and I will fix it for you."

"How... How do you know about me and Gino?"

"I see you every day, I can see it in your eyes. When Gino walked over to you, the look in your eyes changed." A smile grew on her face. "He is a beautiful man. He looks like he came straight from a runway show."

A soft laugh rolled over Galileo's lips and he looked down. "And your man?"

The topic switch. Matilde noticed he didn't want to share about Gino yet, and it was fine. Who was she to push him to talk about it? He confirmed his relationship. Period. Matilde took another drag from the cigarette, in sync with Galileo, but she let the smoke linger for a moment before exhaling slowly.

"My man?" she chuckled. "I don't have time for a man." Her eyes drifted from Galileo back to the cityscape.

Galileo observed her quietly, sensing the weight behind her words. "No time, or just not the right one?" He was trying to fish for confirmation.

"Both," she blurted. "How do I have time for people when I have to restrain a bunch of men and women?" She looked at him. "This job... it consumes everything. Time, energy, even emotions. There's barely anything left at the end of the day."

"And yet," Galileo mused, "you're here, smoking a stress cigarette with your assistant on a rooftop in Singapore."

She let out a laugh, shaking her head. "Touché. But even then, it's hard to let someone in when you're always running at full speed."

"And someone within the sport?" Galileo quietly asked, raising his eyebrows. "He's at the same place at the same time."

Shit, shit, shit. Feeling the weight of Galileo's gaze. She took another drag, trying to buy herself a moment to steady her racing thoughts. He knew. She knew he knew. There was no mistaking the subtle shift in his tone, the way his question had cut just a little too close. If she could notice his behaviour around Gino, it made sense that he'd noticed hers around Charles.

"Nah," she finally said, her voice a bit too casual. "I don't date people in F1. I like to keep work and private life separate."

"Hmm-hmm." Galileo's nonchalant response felt like an invitation to continue, but also a challenge. The kind where he knew more than he was letting on.

Matilde forced a smile, trying to regain her composure. "What's the fun of telling each other things when you already know everything about each other's job?" She let out a soft laugh, but it sounded hollow even to her.

Galileo shrugged, his eyes still on her, noticing the slight tremor in her voice. He didn't push further, but the knowing look on his face said enough. Matilde and Charles. Who would have thought?

The silence stretched between them, filled with unspoken truths. Matilde felt her heart race, not from the cigarette or the late hour, but from the fear of being exposed. She wasn't ready to admit it, not to herself, and certainly not to anyone else.

"I get it," Galileo finally said, breaking the tension. "F1 is intense enough without adding personal complications into the mix."

She nodded, grateful for the lifeline he was offering. "Exactly. It's better this way."

"Sure," he replied, his tone neutral, but the way he looked at her made it clear he wasn't entirely convinced.

Matilde quickly stubbed out her cigarette, eager to change the subject again. She liked that her conversation with Galileo turned into personal conversations, instead of the usual work talk. However, this was too personal.

"I think I'm going to get some noodles," she said and took the hair clip out of her hair. Her hair fell on her shoulders. It felt thick and heavy. And curly. The humid night air enveloped her, making her curls spring to life. No one could see the effort she put into blow drying her hair this morning. She disliked her curls, but she took them as they are now. "The mini store in the hotel is closed already, so is the kitchen," she groaned and grabbed her phone to search for a noodle place in the neighbourhood.

To this day, Galileo was still not used to some of Matilde's habits. All the important people, like the head of departments, chiefs, the board, even some managers, expected to get the best service - read: I want something, so the people do it for me. But Matilde was different, she was like every other person. She earned a lot of money, but you wouldn't say or notice that. She was normal. "Do I need to call a security guy to stay close to you? Just in case?"

She was shaking her head. "I will call if something happens." She found a noodle spot just 500 metres away from the hotel. "Do you want to join?"

"No, thank you, I will get some rest," he thanked her for the offer. "Can you send me a message when you're back in the hotel? So I know you're back and fine?" He scanned her hair, not expecting the curls. It made sense why she was wearing her hair up, she barely did that during a Grand Prix.

"Sure."

Matilde wished her assistant a good night and went to her room to drop off her work bag and purse. She was too lazy - and too hungry - to change her Ferrari outfit to a casual outfit, even though it meant she was more recognisable now. Collecting a tote bag with a book, cardholder and her phone with earbuds with some music on, she left her hotel room and walked towards the noodle spot.

The walk was short, but it gave Matilde a good insight of life in Singapore. She spotted three people wearing a shirt of a team in F1, but no one recognised her. Reaching the noodle spot, she stepped inside and was greeted by the comforting aroma of broth and spices. The small restaurant was cosy, bustling, yet modern and neat, with locals, tourists and multiple F1 fans. Matilde joined the line, read the menu on the wall and waited until she could order.

After ordering and waiting for the noodles, she found a free table in the restaurant. One thing she thought was delightful in Asia, was how many midnight spots there were for food. Even some supermarkets were open. And the place was filled with people. Back home, in Denmark, this wasn't a big thing. Of course, there were midnight shops, but those were more for the drunk people who wanted a meal after the club.

She grabbed her book, a new book she bought at the airport. She made a deal with herself to only buy a book once a month at the airport - still a luxury. This time she picked a feel good romance, easy to read. Matilde unwrapped the chopsticks and dug into the steaming bowl while starting to read.

After a while, the music in her ears disappeared, meaning she had a caller. She quickly finished the chapter and answered the FaceTime call from her brother Lars. Expecting to see her big brother, it turned out to be her mother.

"Godaften," her mother said and smiled widely.

"Godeftermiddag," Matilde replied and smiled. "What a surprise." She took a bite of the noodles.

A laugh escaped her mother's mouth. "She's actually eating noodles now." Lars' head popped into the screen and he started to laugh.

Matilde raised her eyebrows. "Yes? And?" She swallowed. "I was hungry."

"It's all over Twitter," Lars said and grabbed another phone, probably of his mother's.

"What have I done now?" She looked at the photo Lars showed her. "Oh, my god, a team principal is eating noodles on her own in the evening. Wow, very special." She was glad no one understood her mother language now, even though she was talking quietly.

He sat down next to his mother, they were sitting at the breakfast table in the kitchen. "But look at you; reading, while eating noodles, after qualifying, still wearing your Ferrari outfit and even wearing your paddock pass. I don't see Toto Wolff doing this."

"I was hungry. And I'm in Asia," she chuckled and took another bite. "I'm a normal human being. Let me live."

Her mother only smiled while listening. "How are you doing? Did you not do your hair?" She noticed the small baby curls around Matilde's hair line.

"It's so moisty here, it's incredible," Matilde replied.

"It feels like you are just walking around in a constant bathroom after a shower, right?"

Matilde nodded. "It's weird. When do you fly over to Singapore?"

"Not," the mother replied straightforwardly. "We don't fly to Singapore anymore."

"Oh." A dump smile came on Matilde's face. "What is your next flight?"

"I'm leaving for Vancouver tomorrow."

Matilde pouted. "I was hoping you would say Tokyo for next week. Then I could take you to the Grand Prix."

"The control centre can still change destinations, but don't count on it."

The mother and daughter were catching up with each other for a moment before Lars wanted to speak to Matilde in private. He walked into another room and Matilde recognised the home office of their stepdad.

"So," Lars said. "I know it's late for you, but I have an update about your contract."

Matilde slowly nodded. "Hmm-hmm."

After Monza, she left for Denmark for a week. This week was filled with meetings about media training, and other work related things.

And she dived into her contract about the lines she had crossed.

At first, she didn't want to ask her brother for help, but he was the only one who she could trust. Plus, he owned a company specialised in press and jurists on the workfloor. Matilde knew she fucked it up on many aspects, but she couldn't find out what this could mean according to her contract.

"First off, you made a big fucking mess," Lars sighed.

"How many times will you be repeating this?"

"As many times as I have to, to not let you make this mistake again." He gave his signature disapproving look. "Are you sure you want to do this here?"

"At this point, I fucked it up already, it doesn't matter anymore. Can't turn back time."

"Sure. So basically, if someone finds out and takes legal actions, you are fucked - obviously. If Charles takes legal actions, you are fucked - obviously. My advice: mark your boundaries again and make sure you won't make mistakes again," Lars summed up in his own words.

Matilde didn't have time to panic or overthink about it. She fucked it up, she accepted it and as long no one spoke about it, she should be fine.

It was easier than it sounded. 

Next chapter

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @crashingwavesofeuphoria @maryvibess @ironmaiden1313 @blodwyn4u @sltwins @heart-trees @npcmia @llando4norris

[cielito--lindo]

the weight of you

wc: 2.3 k

parings: bakugou katsuki x reader, some iida tenya x reader

a/n and warnings: aged!up au, prohero!reader, afab!reader, swearing, angst and a small amount of fluff, maybe eventual smut??

Part One. Part Two. Part Three. Part Four.

“I think she’s waking up!”

“Shh! You’re gonna freak her out!”

“Oh, I’m sorry! But one of our best friends materialized last night and the proceeded to pass the fuck out  in our fucking living room, so excuuuse me if I’m the one who’s a little freaked out!” You could hear a voice hiss from across the room. 

Your head was pounding, fuck how much did I drink? You tried sitting up, but felt woozy. A pair of hands reached out to steady you.

“Whoa there, old girl” A low voice murmured next to you “Easy does it.”

You let out a small groan “What’s going on?” Squeezing your eyes shut you tried to piece together the events of last night. 

You slowly blinked, your fuzzy vision coming into focus. Shinso and Denki’s concerned faces settled into view, they let out a sigh of relief to see you awake. “Oh thank fuck you weren’t dead, Jesus Christ. I was not ready to have to break the news to everyone.”

You looked around the room, realizing that the couple did not break into your home, but you were actually situated on their couch. You looked down and realized you were still wearing your outfit from the night before. The deep blue velvet crushed and crumpled in places that will definitely upset you once you figured out what was going on. “Did I...get dropped off here last night?” You asked slowly. 

“Well, if you mean getting dropped off by a giant cloud of black goop” Denki sipped on his coffee “then yes. Yes you did, baby girl.”

That earned him a light slap on the back of the head from Shinso “You remember anything from last night?”

You tried to wrack your brain “Yeah, I was at work and then I had dinner with Tenya, and...” 

“No! Wait, baby! Please!”

“Katsuki...” You breathed out, the memory hitting you like a brick “I-I saw Katsuki. I-I just wanted to leave.”

Denki’s expression was contorted in a wince, but Shinso looked concerned “Did he say something? Did he hurt you?”

You quickly shook your head “He’s never hurt me, Shinso. I’ve told you that before, we...talked.” If you could call it that “It turns out he was also on a date and-” The pulsing in your head wouldn’t let up and you could feel it in your whole body. “Ju-just watch.” You outstretched your hands, palms facing the ceiling. Closing your eyes and focusing, your quirk began to seep out of your palms, forming a dark cloud in front of you.

“No matter how many times she does that, I’ll never get used to the floating goo.” Denki muttered, earning another smack. 

A faint picture came into view, your dinner with Tenya. Walking outside and being confronted by Bakugou, pulling him into the alleyway. As you replayed your memory for your friends, you tried to not stare directly at Katsuki, but you failed immediately. 

“Because you’re the one who left me! You were there one day and then gone the next..”

You flinched at the words. The first time you heard them, it felt muffled. Like he was screaming through a glass wall, you were so focused on trying to breathe and leaving, that you couldn’t see the devastating look on Katsuki’s face. The pleading behind his eyes as if it was the first time he had verbalized his feelings, and knowing Bakugou it was. 

As the vision ended you felt a slight wetness on your cheeks. You hadn't even noticed the tears until Denki knelt down on the floor with you and gently wiped them away. “I’m okay, I’m good.” You reassured him, a tight smile on your face. “I just...I didn’t see it.” You rested your head against Denki’s shoulder as he rubbed your shoulder. 

You looked up at Shinso, his face muted. You knew that him and Bakugou shared an agency, but Shinso never spoke about him to you. When you moved out and got drunk for the first time alone in your new apartment, you called him and asked about Katsuki, but Shinso didn’t give you a reply. “You’re gonna forget about it in the morning anyway.” You remember muttering a drunken whine, but that was the only time you asked. 

“Hitoshi..did. Did he ever-”

“Every day.” The purple haired man murmured quietly “He asked about you every single day and I gave him the same answer every time, if he was so concerned, he should’ve asked you himself. One day he just...stopped.” You kept your eyes trained on the decorative rug in front of you “I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would just make you more upset.”

You reached out and laced your fingers with his “It’s okay, Shin. Really, you both have no idea how grateful I am that you took me in.”

Denki knocked your shoulders with his “Well, duh. We’re besties. We weren’t gonna leave you in the dust.” He stood and helped you to your feet. “Come on, Shinso promised to make us breakfast.”

“I did not!”

***

The uber that the couple had ordered for you dropped you off at your house that afternoon, you tried to order it yourself, but you realized that your phone had died during the night. Trudging up the stairs to your apartment, you waved at your neighbor Mrs. Ishimoto. Her salt and pepper hair piled high in a bun as she watered her plants on her ledge. “Late night, dear?”

You huffed out a soft chuckle “Oh, like you wouldn’t believe.” 

“Oh! Someone came by looking for you earlier! He didn’t give me his name, but he was tall.”

Your fingers paused on your keypad as you slowly turned to face your neighbor. “Uh, any other description?” 

She winced apologetically “I’m sorry, dear. I should’ve asked, my memory isn’t as good as it used to be. All I could tell you is that he seemed concerned.”

You shouted a quick “Thanks!” over your shoulder as you rushed into your apartment, your hero senses on full alert. 

Living room? Clear. Kitchen? Clear. Bedrooms and bath? Clear.

You lived close enough to the agency that your close co-workers knew where you lived, but like every other hero, you didn’t plaster your address to the public. The tight ball of anxiety in your chest loosened at finding your apartment untouched, but you couldn’t shake the feeling completely. 

“I need to get out of this shit” You muttered under your breath, trudging back to your bedroom. You quickly unzipped yourself out of crushed fabric, making a mental note to text Mina about fixing the velvet, and removed the, probably, crusted makeup. Fishing out your phone from your purse, you plugged it in to charge while you showered.

The hot water beat down on your tight shoulders, slowly releasing the tension from them. So much for a stress-free first date, a part of you hated the fact that Bakugou had ruined a great time, it had been so nice getting reacquainted with Iida. There were no expectations, no outbursts, just pleasant conversation. No biting quips or retorts. No heated conversations or passionate banter. No snarky grins or flushed skin. No bright red eyes and a wicked smile.

Your eyes snapped open. Bitch you better shut the fuck up right now.

“You had a good time with Tenya.” You chastised yourself “You had a great time and it was nice. It was pleasant and he’s a good man. He’s kind and respectful.” Your carefully crafted shower routine went out the window as you tried to finish as quickly as possible. Another nice thing Bakugou had to ruin. 

The monologue continued as you got dressed. “He’s tall and hot and jacked as fuck. So points there.” There was a handful of lotion being applied when you heard a small knock, knock, knock.You pulled on and tied off your bathrobe. “And yeah, maybe he’s a little boring, but there’s nothing wrong with that! But most importantly, he’s not a fucking-”

You ripped the door open and those bright red eyes you tried to get out of your head, stared back at you. “-dickhead.”

He was dressed in a black sweats with the Red Riot logo down the sides and a soft black hoodie. A Deku gym bag slung around his shoulders. The hood was pulled up, so his normal gravity-defying hair was concealed. “You know, most people answer the door with a hello.” 

“Y/N, dear! This is the person I was telling you about!”  

“Thank you, Mrs. Ishimoto!” You pulled him into your apartment by his collar. “What in the fuck are you doing here?” You bit out as you slammed the door behind you.

“I-”

“Actually, no. Better fucking question. How the fuck do you know where I live, Bakugou?!”

His nostrils flared with annoyance “First, it’s Katsuki and you fucking know that.” The sass in his voice was ever present as he dropped his bag. “Secondly, you’re in the hero database. A fucking idiot could find you that easy.” He shrugged nonchalantly, admiring your apartment like he didn’t just admit to looking up your files. 

You stood there in shock, trying to process the information that was thrown at you. “I’m sorry, I think I just had a fucking stroke. Did you stalk me?” 

“I didn’t stalk you! Jesus Christ, look I asked around first and no one wanted to give me your fucking address, so I had to do a little digging.” He replied, shoving his hands in his pockets, shame creeping up his neck.

You looked at him incredulously “Holy shit there’s something actually wrong with you. That didn’t ring any fuckin’ warning bells in that thick head of yours?! There’s a reason people didn’t want to give you my address, you fuck!” You shoved him backwards, hands on his chest...his very broad chest. 

Katsuki was about to give his own retort when he realized that your robe had slightly come undone as you shoved him. His eyes followed a droplet of water that trickled down your neck from your still-damp hair. There was no voice in his head telling him not to, there was no second guessing as he reached out and softly wiped the droplet off your collarbone. Your body stilled, breath caught in your chest.

“I’m sorry” He breathed out, taking a tentative step closer. He kept his voice low as if talking to a spooked animal, his touch had quieted you down and he wasn’t about to let that advantage slip away “I didn’t come to fight or anything, I swear. I don’t have your number, so I made Kiri call you last night after you disappeared. He called you so many times and you didn’t answer, so then he texted that group chat you have and then everyone started calling you.. I know your quirk can be unstable under duress and I wanted to make sure you were okay. I-” He paused to clear his throat, voice still gruff. “I had to make sure you were okay.”

Your eyes fluttered closed on their own accord, your body reacting instinctively to his touch.

“I don’t know if I believe you.” Your voice sounded far away to your own ears. You made yourself pull away, no matter how badly you wanted to stay rooted to that spot. Pulling your robe tighter around you, you reached for your phone, turning it on.

As it came to life, it buzzed continuously with notifications after notifications. 

Sharky: 5 missed calls

Kyoka: 4 missed calls

Ochako: 5 missed calls

“Shit.” 

Footsteps shuffled behind you “Cheeks remembered to check your location afterwards, I guess your phone died when you got to Mind Freak’s house.” 

Bakugou murmured your name, his touch soft on your hips. God was cruel and this was your punishment. You followed as he guided you to turn and face him, crowding you against your kitchen island. There was enough space between you both that you could’ve easily slipped out of his grasp, but his mere presence felt overwhelming. 

“Katsuki..” You breathed out. The sound of his name spilling from your lips felt like heaven to him. He had replayed old voicemails from you over and over since you had left just so he could hear it. “Katsuki, you need to go.” He could sense the hitch in your voice “Please, go.”

“I know, I know.” He groaned and moved closer to you, nosing the soft skin at the crook of your neck. You felt your own resolve crumbling, hating the way all the anger you felt for him dissipated. “I just-fuck. I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.” He breathed in the sweet smell of your various scrubs and lotions, remembering how they would crowd your shared bathroom counters. He’d never admit to it, but he would use them whenever you were called away on a long patrol, just to keep a part of you with him. You’d taken them when you left too.

He pulled away and watched as rogue tears fell from your eyes. You needed him gone before he watched you break down completely.

“I’m gonna make this right, Angel.” He couldn’t resist placing a soft kiss on your forehead,  you squeezed your eyes shut to keep from crying further. “I promise, I’m gonna be good to you.”

The heat of his body was gone and the door slammed shut. Your breakdown was immediate. The weight of your anger, your resentment, your regret, your love pulled you down to the cold wooden floor of your kitchen.

His apology played like a broken record in your head.

holy fuckin' shit y'all this is the longest part i've written!!

did i cry when i wrote? oh 100% percent.

thank you so much for all the notes and kind words ilysm 🫶

taglist: @raeroowrites @onlyisaa @kimsrie

dividers: @saradika

[hereternalsins]

One day, I won't love you anymore.

- rose ( herdivinemuse via instagram)

Five years of memories. Two years of silence. And now, three months of trying to rebuild what was broken, only to find that some cracks run deeper than time can heal.

She watches him across their favorite café—the same one where they used to spend Sunday mornings years ago. His coffee order hasn't changed: black, no sugar. But something else has. The way he holds himself, perhaps, or the careful distance in his eyes even when he smiles.

"Do you know?" she begins, her fingers tracing the rim of her cup. "In these five years, you've always been perfect and irreplaceable in my heart. But if we continue like this, I feel that... one day, I won't love you anymore."

The words hang between them like frost on a window pane—beautiful in their honesty, terrible in their implications. She watches them land, sees him flinch slightly, the way he always does when truth cuts too close to bone.

They'd thought it would be easier the second time around. After all, they knew each other's stories, could map each other's scars. The muscle memory of loving each other remained intact through those two years apart—the way he still reaches to brush her hair back when she's tired, how she automatically orders extra pickles for his burgers.

But with the familiar rhythms came the old ghosts. His tendency to retreat into silence when troubled. Her habit of expecting him to read her mind. The same misunderstandings that drove them apart the first time now hover at the edges of their reconciliation, waiting to reclaim their territory.

They'd spent those two years apart growing, changing, becoming better versions of themselves. She'd learned to voice her needs instead of hoping they'd be noticed. He'd worked on expressing his emotions instead of bottling them up. But somehow, together, they keep slipping back into their old roles—like actors who know their lines too well to play them differently.

"I still find your coffee cups in my apartment," he says quietly. "From before. I never could bring myself to throw them away."

She nods, understanding the weight of small things kept. She too has a box of memories she couldn't discard—movie tickets, dried flowers, photographs where their smiles still held certainty.

"Maybe that's our problem," she replies. "We're trying to fit new people into an old story."

The truth is, loving him has never been the problem. It's the easiest thing she's ever done, as natural as breathing. But loving someone and being able to build a life with them are different things. The past two years taught her that. They both learned it, separately, in their own ways.

"I don't want to lose you again," he says, reaching across the table. His fingers stop just short of hers, a gesture that encompasses everything wrong with their situation—always almost touching, almost understanding, almost getting it right.

"We're not the same people who fell in love five years ago," she tells him. "And we're not the same people who broke up two years ago either. Maybe we need to stop trying to be."

The afternoon light slants through the café windows, casting long shadows across their table. Outside, the city moves in its endless rhythm, indifferent to the small apocalypse happening over cooling coffee cups.

"Then who are we?" he asks, and there's something like hope in his voice—fragile but present.

She looks at him, really looks at him, seeing both the man she fell in love with and the stranger he's become. "Maybe that's what we need to find out," she says. "Not who we were, or who we think we should be, but who we are now."

The silence that follows feels different from their usual ones—not heavy with unspoken words, but open, waiting. Like a blank page rather than a closed book.

"I meant what I said," she continues softly. "You've been perfect and irreplaceable in my heart. But perfect isn't what I need anymore. I need real. I need now. I need us to stop haunting each other with who we used to be."

He nods slowly, and for the first time in months, his smile reaches his eyes. "Then maybe we should start over," he suggests. "Not from five years ago, or from two years ago, but from right here."

She feels something shift in her chest—not the familiar ache of old love, but something newer, something that tastes like possibility. "Hi," she says, extending her hand across the table. "I'm still learning who I am. Would you like to figure it out together?"

This time, when he reaches for her hand, he doesn't stop short.

[adoreangelia]

Show You ── . ꪆৎ

paring: weirdo! pouge! reader x rafe cameron

warning: mdni 18+, fingering, overstimulation

summary: rafe shows you have bad he wants to take this relationship seriously.

a/n: i swear to you i just had to rewrite this whole thing because i forgot to save the draft. anyway, this is my first smut so it might be a little corny. if any pro writers reading this help me! hope you guys enjoy 🫶🏽.

you and rafe had always been on and off. the two of you never lasting simply because it seems impossible.

one of the reason being your he was your best friend’a brother— sarah cameron. you hated that, the fact that you both having to sneak around constantly. going so far as to not even being in the same room.

and you knew it was bad. being in a situation with him. but you couldn’t bring your self to stop seeing him.

rafe hated hiding you guys relationship he would always try to convince you that sarah wouldn’t care— that she’d just eventually have to accept the fact that her best friend was dating her brother.

with that being said rafe wanted to take you guys serious, and in reality you knew that. it was just you he was waiting on.

it was another typical night at tanny hill— sarah had run off with topper and had you covering for her. you and rafe had just had a messy break up so you had no one to entertain you while sarah was gone.

the first hour was fine to say the least, you invited yourself to explore her room which you’ve done thousands of times before. never finding anything new.

the second hour you decided to watch tv, which you hated. already bored with the movie you picked.

just as you’re getting ready to doze off a ping comes from your phone— the screen lighting up with a notification from “rafe”.

quickly sitting up you grab the phone unlocking it to open the message

rafe: “come to my room” it reads.

taking a deep sigh you force your self up off the bed and head toward his room.

walking through the eerie halls that always managed to put you a edge. until finally you finally make your way to the boy’s room.

hesitantly you twist the knob of the door peeking your head through the door.

rafe sits on the edge of his bed, right leg bouncing up and down.

until he hear the door and turns his head to look your way.

“cm’on sit down, i ain’t gone hurt you.” he pats the empty spot next to him signaling you to come and sit.

finally you want in slowly closing the door behind you making sure it doesn’t squeak.

slowing you make your way over to his bed sitting down where he told you.

almost instantly his hand pull your legs over his lap.

“rafe, it’s late and sarah will be back any minute.” you mumble already fed up with the whole set up.

“just let me talk baby, please?” his eyes are basically begging me to let him talk.

“fine just.. make it quick.”

he nods in agreement before he starting talking again.

the typical run down of how he’s sorry and he was just in a “bad state of mind” typical sorry ass excuses.

“just one more time i know i fucked up, but listen i want you just you that’s all.” he ramble on and about the same things for what feels like forever.

“i’m sorry and i love you, alright?” his right hand hold the side of your face giving you a small kiss on your forehead “just let me show you”

you wanted to say fuck him and leave so bad but the way he was touching you.

the way his hands rubbed up and down against your thigh.

“you know i love you right..” he mumbled against your skin.

you nod already high off the sound of his voice.

your back now against his mattress, half dazed as to how quickly everything just took place.

his hand travels under your shirt exploring what underneath .

the tip of his thumbs brushing against the skin of you already tender nipples.

small whines escape from your lips.

“i know baby, i know.” his hands start to lift up the ends of your shirt.

bending done kissing along your stomach. “cm’on let’s take this off”

with the shirt off and your chest now fully exposed his tongue wraps around the sensitive skin.

both already swollen and sensitive from previous teasing.

the little noises your making equal to music in rafe’s ears.

his free hand gliding down your loose pajama pants.

“just wanted to get fucked by my fingers tonight, huh?” the pads of his fingers start to move in circular motions around your cunt. “answer me.”

“yes, yes fuck.” you whine fucking yourself against his fingers.

“atta’ girl” a light chuckle comes from him at your response

“so wet f’me” he mumbled against your ear.

the feelings of his warm breath against you.

his fingers dig into your cunt warm and wet a perfect fit for them.

bringing his thumb to rub again your already sensitive clit.

“fuck yesss” you moan gripping onto his bicep as your high starts to approach you.

“yeah that it’s, let it go angel” he whispers placing gentle kisses along your neck and lips.

body shaking through the intense orgasm.

“there you go baby.” he says kissing your cheek.

pulling his hand from the now messy pajamas and licking his fingers.

“showed you didn’t i?”

a/n: omg please kill me, i’ve never cringed so hard writing something in my life. anyway, i know i been gone, mostly because i’ve been busy and been having such writers block. but for a while but im back guys!

[localwebslingers]

Leaned back and arms crossed didn't exactly look relaxed but it seemed a lot less on edge than before, Peter was going to take that as some kind of win. It also was so just predictably a thoughtful, thinking position that he had to raise his eyebrow with some amusement, let the smile grow a little amused and fond. It stung a little to see that Harry still wasn't able to relax around him, which was fair and reasonable and Peter understood it, but he wouldn't call the posture subtle. Maybe Osborn approved, but for a moment he half expected it to be exaggerated in some way with the dramatics he'd gotten so used to seeing and hearing. Just to really lean into it.

They didn't happen, of course they wouldn't, they probably wouldn't be back for a while yet.

With the question, both of them, Peter's smile softened a little as he thought about his answer, "You were...pretty private, about it happening. I think most of it was that you worried about how it would go those first few days, if I'd really be okay with it and yeah...yeah I think you worried I might not be safe with you. You kind of gave me an apology warning that you could be a little...let's call it grouchy, at times." he held a hand up and squinted, fingers close together, "little bit." it was a light tease, and Peter lowered his hand again before shaking his head slightly, "But I knew that, and I told you I could handle it. That I wasn't worried and would be okay. If you really were worried about anything more specific then you kept it to yourself, but I had a couple guesses."

It was hard not to, not after the first time Peter had seen just how tense and cautious Harry had been when they were hiding from Kraven. When the identities were admitted into the open and the first real "cards on the table" conversation happened between them. The times in fights or close calls, tense situations passed that, even just bandaging major injuries, Peter had an idea of what he could be in for. It didn't scare him off all the times before, it didn't when he started coming by either.

"Just to be clear, you didn't. Hurt me I mean, or try to. Had a couple bad moods but for the most part it went fine. I knew to give you space when you needed it, what to try and help with and what I could actually do. Really what I did was just try to be there for you, help out how I could or just keep you company so you weren't alone..." Peter chewed his lip and was quiet a moment. Debating. What was better, to rip off the bandage now or to try and address one of the many elephants in the room days, maybe even weeks, later? Because it wasn't just having to get used to him that eventually got Harry to the point of being comfortable saying that Peter could be there, in those first days after the new dose of the serum was taken.

"We're- ....we're dating. Are...were, maybe, I don't really know if you..." if Harry wanted to still call it that, when he didn't remember it, and that made Peter's heart twist in a way it hadn't since he first saw Harry unresponsive in a bed, "I'm sure that sounds...completely believable and trustworthy, maybe, but that's why you said I could stay. You already trusted me, we hadn't been together a full year yet but we'd known each other for a little while before that and I knew how to try and make it easier, when stuff was a lot for you. Try and get you to focus on something that could help you relax. Sometimes I think I was even pretty good at it because it usually worked." he was trying not to get upset, trying not to feel hurt as that twist tightened more, because that wasn't what Harry needed right now. Someone to be upset and make him feel guilty for something completely out of his control.

"...and that's why even if you were worried that I might not be safe with you, I was sure I was. Because you don't scare me, or make me nervous, and if you did become dangerous, for whatever reason, I still would have been okay. I'm tougher than I look and maybe that reassured you...but I never thought I would have to. Not once, and I always told you I wasn't worried about it. You're just...Harry, to me."

|| @inhcritance ||

He knew that not feeling sick was a beginning, and not one to be underestimated: he didn't know what he'd have done, if his mind hadn't answered as it should but his body hadn't either.

Would it be alright, in the end? It was difficult to have hope, for all he knew he had reasons for it. For all he felt more capable, and while most of his memories hadn't come back, not exactly, there was enough that he could start feeling not so much adrift as lost, but with a chance of finding his way properly.

He wasn't sure, however, how much of a way he could hope to find when the mere presence of another human being was so distressing to his feelings. Knowing that Peter had been there for him, however... it was as close to hope as it could be, and while Harry did tell himself it could theoretically be a lie, it didn't feel like one.

For a moment there, he was even tempted to ask him to come in. To imagine what it would mean to have someone else close, maybe to even touch another human being. Touch and be touched and maybe even avoid the overwhelming impulse to harm that he didn't know how to control yet.

But that, he knew, was assuming the instincts, the impulses, were the same. And he couldn't trust on that, not when it could hurt the one person who was managing to make him feel less like something wild kept caged for the sake of everybody else, and more like an actual person.

So he leaned back, in the end, arms crossed loosely as he thought, because he didn't feel comfortable enough to lean forward and rest his chin on his hand, as he'd done so many times... before. Or thought he had.

"You said it happened eventually." He settled for, however. Because a part of him wanted to leave the topic, and stay at a victory, but the rest of him... well, he yearned for more. He needed to know more. "Was it a matter of exposition, of getting used to you... or did something happen?"

He couldn't believe in a magical cheat that would solve everything, but every single little tidbit of information was worth knowing.

"And... were you safe, when you were with me?" Because that was worth knowing, as much as the idea itself hurt.

But it was still a thread to pull on, a tiny sliver of hope, and he was determined to make something of it. Somehow. He just didn't have all the pieces he needed just yet, just the determination to try and collect them.

@localwebslingers

[yunoftheclouds]

Barbatos

And to think this was supposed to be just a sketch… I liked it too much not to render! ( ・∇・)

I don’t talk about him enough. I really like him. He’s one of my favourites.

[cent-scratchnsniff]

tie tying doodles w ramblings on it in tags

[artnerd1123]

Finally watched tadc ep 4 and ;_;

Gangle……..

(Spoiler talk in the tags)

[reallyhardy]

Sorry what’s up w the Ethan slater stuff? I know him only from your posts / SpongeBob stuff

HI HELLO please buckle in

yep -- the same guy from the spongebob musical, and my posts abut the spongebob musical.

he blew up completely and now the general public knows him as 'ariana grande's new boyfriend' - their relationship seems to have started off the back of co-starring in the upcoming wicked musical film adaptation.

it's just been like. a monkey's paw curling sort of a way for him to get catapulted to fame, as i had always really enjoyed him as a performer (as spongebob, yes, but also in the other roles i'd seen him in,) and my biggest hope back around 2017 was that he would continue in and be really successful in theatre, get a lot of broadway roles, maybe take on some existing parts i thought he'd really suit, like seymour in little shop or ogie in waitress.......... but instead he booked the role of boq from wicked in a massive hollywood film production instead, where he met ariana grande. THE ariana grande.

and then yeah. at some point, he and grande broke up with their respective partners, (slater leaving both his wife AND newborn son) jumped into a new relationship, and now the whole wider internet knows who he is but certainly not for the right reasons.

there's been speculation regarding whether or not grande and slater had cheated on their previous partners before their relationship began with various sources coming out of the woodwork saying "yes they did" and others saying "no they didn't" -- humans are all perfectly capable of making stuff up, the media especially, so i simply don't know who to trust and i admit it had completely shattered my whole good impression of him - PLUS it gave the wider internet an absolutely awful first impression of him, resulting in, yeah, the (frankly, unflattering, sometimes downright cruel) memes of him popping up on twitter and, as i discovered yesterday, in non-theatre youtubers' videos who would literally never have heard of him if not for the slater-grande romance 🥲

FULL COVERAGE of the situation as it was happening can all be found on the lovely @notasimpleslater's blog under the tag 'ozgate' if you want to delve deeper!