#I HAND YOU A FUCKING FOOD ITEM AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY

[laylanatorseventeen]

when you hand Abigail in Stardew a fuckin grape or something and she angrily says "what am I supposed to do with this? >:("

YOU EAT FUCKING ROCKS.

[sukunasweetheart]

oddly specific relationship headcanons with sukuna pt. 2

part 1 here

modern AU, fem!reader, sukuna being an ass as usual (affectionately)

sukuna is a food stealer. he'd rummage through ur home for snacks or food like some raccoon going through the trash. not necessarily bc hes hungry, sometimes it's bc he wants something to chew on, other times its bc he wants to judge your tastes and/or shame you. if ur fridge and cupboards are empty, with barely anything other than a bottle of ketchup in it, he will quite literally give you a silent stare bc hes simply speechless... he will say youre boring, then hes gna get concerned on whether ur eating well or not...

other than going through the things u have at home, he will also take large bites and mouthfuls of whatever you're holding onto outside. be it ice cream, bubble tea, a burger, corndog- he just wants a bite of whatever youre having! he'd then have the audacity to rate it, telling you "hmm, not bad" or "this shit tastes horrible". sometimes he just does it to piss u off, he's just like that.

if you tried the same against him, you'd have to either catch him off guard (nigh impossible) or just beg and plead until hes satisfied enough to share his snack as a treat. otherwise, he's holding the item above ur head and laughing at you. maybe if you pout he'll then finally bend down and give a little smooch on your lips before offering you some.

another thing he loves doing is draping himself all over you... full body weight if youre lying down, leaning against you fully if youre sitting, or resting his chin or arm over your head/shoulder if youre standing. just. using u as a support bc this man is so comfortable with using u as a resting tool HAHA and i know this man heavy as fuck bro *sobs* if u complain abt it, it only fuels him more... (me personally, i'd love if he put his whole body weight on me... pls crush me)

he likes feeling u squirm against him and yelling for help bc ur getting squished LMAO and also, most of the time you can't support his weight for long and you slowly sink down... he always enjoys watching u lose against him one way or another...

i already mentioned previously that he likes playfully smacking your ass around the house but i'll also add on that he likes to just grope and massage different parts of your body randomly when the two of you are lounging about together, not even sexually, he'll just squeeze at your flesh bc he feels like it and he likes the bouncy sensation. cue one hand groping ur ur tiddies/thighs/tummy while he idly scrolls through his phone

hes very independent when he wants to be independent. but hes also clingy as fuck when he's in the mood to be. one second he could be fine with doing his own thing, but all of a sudden he's craving your attention the next. he's content with being by himself one moment but then the itching desire to be next to you comes around and he does just that. watch out bc the second u get comfortable, he'll probably change his mind again and head back to continue whatever he was doing again

if you do the same against him, coming and going as you please, he's a lot more resistant as opposed to you... while you just let him do whatever he wants (most of the time, anyway) he will be his teasing self as always. he's in the middle of something and you wanna cuddle him all of a sudden? he expects to be rewarded afterwards (something lust related, probably). you wanna get up and leave after getting your fill of the cuddles? too bad, he's too comfortable now, youre not leaving til he's satisfied. he's just a selfish bastard, what can i say

one last thing, i think i mentioned this in some post before but anyway.. sukuna's 100% the type of mf to show a lot of his softer love while youre SLEEPING. be it forehead kisses, caressing your cheek, just admiring your facial features or thumbing your lips. maybe even leaving a little kiss on them. brushing aside any strands of hair. but he'd also pinch your nose and chuckle when you eventually open ur mouth to breathe LMFAOAOA <3 just languidly admiring ur sleeping face <3

Masterlist

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Hello can i ask a part 3 of crazy for you where you know about his dark tendencies but you can't and he won't let you leave him because your already pregnant (i know it takes time to figure out if your pregnant but let's just say Lando has a great sperm 🤭 and it's many weeks later) thanks 🫶

Crazy For The Three Of Us || LN4

Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, gaslighting, dub/con, dark themes WC: 2k F1 Masterlist || Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four (final)

It took Lando another couple of weeks to finally get you to move in with him, not that you spent much time apart. You practically lived together but shared the time between your apartments next door. His argument made sense in the end, there really was no need to be paying rent when you could move in with him. So, you handed in your notice and moved your belongings into his place.

“Did this really need to be boxed up to move ten metres down the hall?” Lando teased as he opened the last box and tipped it out. 

“Probably not,” you giggled as you helped fold the clothes and put them away. “What are we having for dinner?”

“Fridge is a bit empty, want takeaway or to go shopping?” You would always choose a home cooked meal and he knew it as he grabbed a hoodie and his keys. “Come on then, love.”

Determined to make the grocery run go faster, you sent Lando off to the chilled foods with his list and you made your way down the dried goods aisles. A familiar face stood in front of the sauces and you skipped up to him, touching his shoulder to get his attention.

“Hey Luke, how have you been? I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

“Hey,” he said weakly. He seemed wary as he took a step back, his eyes finding Lando as he walked down the aisle with a shopping trolley. “That’s probably for the best. I should get going.”

You frowned at his quickly retreating figure and wondered what you had done to offend him. It wasn’t like you had seen him anytime recently. Everytime plans were tried to line up, there was something already organised with Lando. Turning your back on him you saw Lando’s jaw clench as he stared at Luke’s back too.

“What’s that?” you asked as you nodded to his hands, his eyes softening as he broke away from his intense stare.

“I picked you up a test, love.” Lando held the little blue box up and shook it. “You’re a few days late.”

“How would you even know that?” You laughed as you took the box and started to place it on a random shelf you passed. “You wear condoms anyway, so stop being stupid.”

“Yeah, except when you practically raped me on the couch,” he snorted. “Please, Lando, just fuck me. You didn’t even give me a chance to get one.”

You stumbled and if you didn’t have a hand on the trolley you probably would have face planted on the vinyl floor. “No, tell me you’re joking, right?”

“Why would I joke about that?” He grabbed the test back and dropped it into the trolley as he continued on his way.

You rushed to catch up with him and grabbed his forearm. “Why are you not freaking out?”

“Why would I?” he asked calmly, his head tilting to the side as he saw the fear in your eyes. “I love you, we live together. Is it not the next step?”

“No, it’s not,” you corrected. “There’s a million steps between those things. There’s enjoying life, getting to know each other, getting married. I don’t even know if I want kids!”

He smiled and grabbed the back of your head to pull you into a crushing kiss. “You said kids, plural.”

“Lando, I’m trying to be calm right now. Please don’t make this worse.” You turned and stormed your way to the checkouts, tapping your foot impatiently as each item was scanned but it was the little blue box you kept your eyes fixed on. “It’s probably nothing anyway,” you muttered under your breath as you tried not to freak out. “It was one time.”

You couldn’t breathe as you stared at the little window that very clearly stated PREGNANT. It even had the audacity to tell you that you were 3-4 weeks along.

“It’s wrong, buy another one,” you said to Lando as you tossed the test in the trash.

He grabbed it out and stared at it, a little perplexed that it didn’t just have two little lines. “What do you mean?”

“Unless you can time travel, the test is wrong,” you growled as you ripped it from his hands and threw it back in the bin. “We had sex on your couch when I called in sick two weeks ago, so how can I be that far along? It’s faulty, go and buy another one.”

You gave him a push to the door before sinking onto the couch and dropping your head in your hands. You bolted back upright and narrowed your eyes at the seat, giving it a kick before heading to the kitchen instead. “Stupid fucking couch.”

By the time Lando returned, his hoodie pocket filled with half a dozen other brands of tests, you had cooked dinner and dessert and started baking some bread rolls for lunches as well. You kept your hands busy so you could distract yourself and it had worked until he dropped the boxes on the bench.

“There weren’t any more of those fancy ones but I got these,” he explained as he opened the boxes and pulled the tests out. “Have you drunk any water?”

You waved your empty bottle as you swiped them up and stalked back off to the bathroom, locking the door behind you.

“Baby, open up,” Lando said with a knock. “Let me in.”

“Just…give me a few minutes,” you begged as you sat on the toilet. “Please.”

“Okay, I’ll be out here when you’re ready.”

You heard his footsteps retreat and sighed as you closed your eyes to pray to anyone that would listen. “Please, please, please…”

Your prayers weren’t answered as every single test highlighted the reality of the situation. You were pregnant. You were pregnant. “Fuck.”

The alarm on your new phone blared that the baking was done and it spurred you to wash your hands and leave the room. You walked into the kitchen, feeling Lando’s eyes in you as you opened the oven and pulled out the tray from the oven. You didn’t feel the heat of the tray but Lando’s shout cut through the noise in your head before the pain flared on your palm. The tray clattered to the floor and you froze amongst the mess.

“Baby,” Lando whined as he grabbed your wrist and dragged you to the sink. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“I-I-I’m pregnant,” you whispered, still in a state of confusion as you stared at the ruined bread rolls. “I have a fucking bun in the oven.”

You were still in denial even as you watched the pulsing blob on the screen in front of you. Lando knew plenty of people around the city with his high profile and he had been able to get you a fast tracked appointment with an Obstetrician. You almost wished he would slow down but going fast was all he knew. 

“Woah,” he breathed as the doctor pointed to the dot.

“That’s it’s heartbeat, fast and strong. I would say from the measurements we are looking at just over 5 weeks gestation.” 

“Five! No, that can’t be right.”

“The measurements don’t lie,” he shrugged as he waved the wand to another angle to take a few more still shots. “But we go by your last known period, not the actual conception date if that helps.”

It didn’t. The dates still didn’t add up in your mind and you numbly accepted the print outs of the photos as you sat up. 

“We will have another scan at 12 weeks-”

You zoned out as you stared at the blob, no, not a blob - a baby, your baby. Your thumb stroked over the image and you tried to imagine how in less than eight months it would be a human being that you would be responsible for. A wet splotch landed on the paper and you gasped as you rushed to brush the teardrop away. “Shit,” you sniffled as you accepted the tissue Lando grabbed for you. 

“You’re going to be a great mother,” he said softly, taking the pictures away before you could ruin them further. “I can’t wait to tell our parents.”

You had barely been able to think about how you were reacting to the news but now you had to think about your parents as well. You had only ever briefly spoken to his parents and that was when they video called him on Christmas Day. The thought of telling them and your parents was almost enough to make you sick, and not the queasy kind you had felt waking each morning recently.

“Don’t you think we should wait?” you whispered as you sat in the passenger seat on the drive back to the apartment. “Most people wait until 12 weeks in case something happens.”

“You’re going to have the best care money can buy, baby, nothing’s going to happen.”

‘I thought we raised you better than that,’ your mother had sighed. ‘Unprotected sex is not an accident.’

‘What your mother means to say is, if you two are happy then we are happy for you,’ your father said as he placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder. ‘You are happy, right?’

Lando’s hand had warmed your leg as he ran his palm over your jeans, giving it a soft squeeze when you didn’t answer. “Uh, yeah, dad, I’m happy. It was just a shock is all. I think my brain is still trying to catch up with everything.”

You could hear the disappointment in your parent’s lacklustre congratulations before they bid you a goodnight. It weighed heavily on you as the video call ended and Lando slammed the lid of his laptop shut. His parents had been far more accepting of the information, but it wasn’t their first time being grandparents so it wasn’t such a change.

Lando went to the kitchen and boiled the kettle for your evening tea and you screwed up your face as he opened the new jar. “Can’t I have the chamomile? That one tastes better.”

As soon as the pregnancy test had come back positive he had thrown the sleep tea out, claiming it said it wasn’t suitable for pregnancy. It seemed absurd, but Lando wasn’t taking his chances and you were kind of endeared by how seriously he was taking his role as father-to-be.

“Come to bed with me,” you said as you slipped your arms around his waist while the tea steeped. His cologne made your mouth water and you buried your face in the back of this hoodie as you hugged him tighter. “These hormones are driving me crazy.”

The tea was forgotten as he turned and caught your chin in his warm hands, tipping your face back so he could claim your lips. “Crazy, huh?” he teased, taking a step and forcing you back until you were walking blindly to the bedroom. “I like it when you get a little crazy.”

Your knees hit the bed and you fell back amongst the blankets as he eyed you up hungrily. Need simmered in your core as he popped the button on your jeans and dragged them down your legs. Crawling up the bed, he groaned at the sight of your ass in the air and chuckled when you opened the bedside drawer. 

“Where’s the- oh- I guess we don’t need them now,” you chuckled as you found the condom box missing. “Guess there is one perk to this accident.”

Lando flipped you onto his back and you found he had already thrown his clothes off in eagerness. “There are no accidents, love, just miracles.”

Click here for the final part.

[miserycanary]

JUST A DAY? ᡣ𐭩 [Ghost ver. Take It or Leave It]

pairing: König & fem!reader

synopsis: König forgets about your special day

tag: milder angst than normal, probably OOC König

It felt like mocking—taunting even. The red circle around today’s date looks like a sight for sore eyes. You ponder each moment that passes without your husband by your side, thinking if all the sacrifice you’ve made that led up to this moment was worth it. Was being abducted on your way home worth it for the man who couldn’t even show up to your own birthday dinner?

The cinnamon candles lit for this specific event are steadily melting, dimming your life even more. Homemade dishes cold and champagne dropping to room temperature. 

König was never the affectionate type—well, outside constant observation and pleads for you to just stay home while he takes care of the rest. He’s too unfamiliar with the ropes of a relationship. He didn’t even expect himself to land you. He’s familiar with the way everyone cowers in front of him because of his bulking figure, cloth draped over his head like some random serial killer, and the battlefield scars that make random strangers put 911 on speed-dial. 

Like always, when he puts his hand out to you, holding the purse you dropped, he expects you to run away, scream, or at least flinch. Though that wasn’t the case. Instead you peered up to him, flashing a soft smile before giving a small gratitude. He watched as your back turned, walking down the street looking like an angel that graced Earth with your presence. 

His next moves might have been.. questionable, but can you blame him? He has social skills comparable to that of a stone. So, yes, maybe it was kind of batshit crazy when he decided to stalk you, find out about you using connections, and all that. Yes, it was his fault when you tased him because he decided it was a good idea to visit you via breaking your window. 

The following years after that were rocky. It wasn’t easy to get you to trust him. It took him about 7 months before you even entertained the idea of going on a date with him. That’s when you finally realize how genuine his feelings are, understanding why he decided to approach the way he did because of his anxiety and overall cluelessness about relationships. 

It was smooth-sailing after that. You lived your life with a boyfriend that acts more like a devotee, but his incapability to understand your emotions really tests you. König doesn’t understand why dates or small things mattered. To him, love is grand and obvious. That’s why he never bothered with the futile things, but with your patience, you keep trying to explain. Though it’s always: “Okay, sweetie, I’ll do better next time” with a forehead kiss and luxurious item, but never actual progress. 

So, here you sit, under dim lights when the sound of the house being unlocked rang out. Stood there in the entrance was your so-called husband, stunned to see the set-up.

“Hübsch, what’s all this?” König gruffs with a smile, thinking it was for him. 

“Don’t even take a step near me.” 

The cold tone in your voice didn’t go over his head, immediately dropping his bag and coming closer despite your words. 

“What’s wrong?” 

The fucking audacity to even ask. 

“What’s wrong?! You’re really asking me that?!” 

Unable to hold your feelings back, you burst out and the chair clambers back as you stand up. “Do you even know what day it is?” The question hangs in the air and the silence was enough for a reply. “It’s my birthday. My fucking birthday.”

König softens. “Oh, liebe, I’m sorry, okay? I’ll treat you to dinner tomorrow—“

“No! I don’t want another of your fucking pity and unapologetic grand act! I wanted you to be here today, and you couldn’t even show up? I don’t want dinner tomorrow. I wanted us to have dinner tonight with the food I fucking made,” you scream, pushing the dishes down on the floor in anger and letting all the porcelain crash down—along with the pieces of your relationship. 

“Come on. Don’t be angry. I-I’ll be better—“

“It’s always ‘I’ll be better with you’, König.”

Annoyed, König snaps back. “It’s just a day, liebe. Don’t make a scene. You’re blowing this out of proportion,” he growls. 

Your eyes went wild, absolutely seething. There he goes again, dismissing the situation like always. “Just a day?! It’s my fucking day, König! And it doesn’t matter what day it is. I told you this was important to me!! Why can’t you get that through your head?”

“Who cares if I was late to celebrate by a day?!”

“I do! I care! I made all of the food for you!”

Silence envelopes the house and you finally had enough, letting out the words that kept eating you alive for the past few months.  “I wish I never went on that date. It wasn't worth being fucking abducted and ransomed just for a man who can't appreciate the day I was born.”

König’s eyes widened, body stiff as your words pierced his heart. He knew he put you in danger, and he was always shocked when you still decided to be with him. You were the first person to ever accept him like that. To look at him past his face, built, and aura. To stay through his thick and thin. But all this time.. it was your regret all along? All this time you secretly wished you never loved him? Just like that, all the countless nights of worrying and overthinking finally came true for König. Wordlessly, König turns away, slamming the door after him as you’re left standing in the room, the last light of the sand wax fizzles and covers you in darkness. 

You knew you took it a step too far, but… maybe you're just not the person meant for him. Maybe you're not the person who will appreciate König's grand gestures no matter how hurtful it is when he forgets about you. Maybe you're not the person meant to love him, and maybe.. you can live with that. After all, it’s just a day amongst the other 364.

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱: finally back to writing!! Kinda OOC because I’m not really good with König’s character. Also, you guys should try sand wax candles. They’re so fire (pun intended). Also, addition to the request: 📩

dividers by @cafekitsune

Please reblog!! Ask is open!

check out my other works: ୭!

[baekguuuuu]

Daylight

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Mature Content (nothing too detailed), lyric-inspired: Daylight

Word Count: 26.7k (im really sorry... again)

Summary: Born, raised, and bred in the city. Life took a dramatic turn when the things you cope with became the reason for the conflict with your father. 

With your bags packed and the cigarette you sneak inside your suitcase, you hope for the best where life will bring you when you hop on the train with no specific destination in mind. 

Skyscrapers. Blinding artificial lights. Traffic jam. Fast-paced environment. Overpriced nourishment. 

Cigarette. Alcohol. Parties. Two-faced people. Hookups. 

Those were the things I was surrounded by as a person born and raised in a big city. 

Harmful lifestyle, people are being controlled by money, everything must be documented on social media—or it never happened, people whom you call friends even though they’ve been stabbing your back since day one, relationship that should be called situationship in the first place. And last but definitely not least, parents who weren’t there physically. 

When I found out that my supposed-to-be friends in university have been hanging out without me, despite the fact that I have asked them countless of times and they would decline my invitation, saying that they were busy, or something came up, or their mother had asked them an errand—all those bullshit, but in reality, they were together. 

I should’ve just stayed at home, eat junk food on my bed while watching Netflix, instead of going out alone and finding out that they’ve been shitting on me since our freshmen year. 

But no, I didn’t. 

If it wasn’t for my problem with falling asleep, I wouldn’t have gone to a pub by myself, ordering a few drinks to get tipsy so I could get some rest. I sent a message to our group chat, trying my luck if someone was available. And obviously, they all turned me down. 

“Yeah—I know! She looks so dumb when she smiles!” 

I was in my second glass when I recognized Lisa’s voice, trying so hard to be husky and chic at the same time. No name was mentioned, yet my heart started thumping inside my chest, slowly turning my head to peek over my shoulder to glance where the voice came from. 

And I was right. Lisa, Wendy, and Soyeon were there... and some guys. Probably their date—I don’t know. Then my eyes landed on a particular person who I’ve been seeing for a few weeks now: Eunwoo. Given that we weren’t official, I thought we were hitting it off. My brows drew together when I followed the hand resting on his lap, which was Lisa’s. 

They all said they were busy, and it was too late for them to go out, yet here they are. Giggling, flirting, drinking, and talking shit when they thought I couldn’t hear them. 

I didn’t understand myself when I decided to stay for a few more minutes to hear what’re their thoughts were about me. Each and every word they would spat added a needle poking in my chest. 

“She should be ashamed, to be honest. Her older brother has had good reputation since high school to university, and she has the audacity to just exist—” 

“Are you done?” 

The look on their faces is fucking hilarious when I finally had enough and stormed to their table with the most blank expression I could ever done. I can’t be more thankful that the pub has dim lights and they can’t probably see how red my face is. 

Who will pay for the afternoon snacks in university now that I know what they’ve been doing behind my back? How will they be able to get a ride to campus now that I’d probably never hang out with them anymore? And whose luxury item they’d be using to take a photo and upload it on Instagram? 

From a couple of shots to get some sleep turns into almost half of a bottle, and finding myself making out with a man who wears oversized and overpriced clothing until sobering just a little bit because of disappointment when this man, who removed his clothes sloppily as soon as we got into a cheap motel we could find, finished in less than two minutes, leaving me hanging and frustrated.  

I groan and ruffle my hair before turning my head to look at this pathetic human being who couldn’t even last up until I’m close at least. I put on my clothes and leave the motel, palming myself that the sky is starting to get brighter yet still looks dark. My parents will definitely go apeshit on me. Again. 

Did I spend the whole night—an awful one—awake, drunk, betrayed, and sexually frustrated? 

Yes. Yes, I did. 

I started walking home, totally intoxicated, at six in the morning, makeup smudged and reeked of a combination of alcohol and puke; while healthy enthusiast people would go for a run before starting their day. 

“Good morning to people who wake up on my bedtime,” I’d slurred loudly, clumsily waving a hand to them. Of course, I’d always received a look from head to toe, probably wondering about the condition of my organs at that point. 

“Don’t you think you’re too much?” 

I tried drowning my dad’s nagging by sticking my head further down the toilet bowl while I let out the immoderate booze I downed the whole night. 

My dad is the typical businessman. We’re not super rich to the extent that we have a butler or a red carpet by the front door—I think, but we do have some helpers to get shit done here at home. He’s become strict now that I’m older, but he did spoil me as a child, like a toddler-child, not the elementary-child because all I got during that time was trauma. 

I’m not saying he’s not a good father, but he’s really uptight, mainly to me, especially when I started getting into trouble as early as nine years old—I stabbed a classmate with a sharp pencil, but that’s another story to tell. 

My mom is the typical housewife of a businessman. She’s into wine and aesthetics. You know, she likes spending loads of money on marble things, antiques, and charcuterie that she never eats. She’s the madam of the house. Although, she’s the gentle parent among the two of them, and has no bad blood with anyone from being so friendly that she signed up to, at least, nine charities. 

She’s always present in those charities, volunteering—all that stuff, but never once was she present to my piano recital, school performances, parent-teacher conferences, the list goes on.  

“Can you guys—” she hurriedly closes the door and curtains that could be a reason someone might see the chaos inside our house, “—stop it? It’s not even seven in the morning!” 

I heard my father scoff, and even though I was staring blankly at the pearl-white toilet before me, I could imagine how he rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disapproval. Like he always does. “Yes, of course. What our neighbor thinks is more important than controlling your daughter. It’s your fault she’s become like this—” 

“What do you mean my fault? You’re her parent, too. And why are you talking like that? We’ve all been in this stage of life—” 

“I didn’t.” 

Ah... how can I forget about my older brother, Kyungsoo, who exists in this world to make my life miserable as it already is. No, I’m just kidding—or not. We have the typical sibling-relationship. Our priority is to annoy each other, until one of us snitches to our parents. 

Unlike me, who struggles to get a bachelor’s degree, Kyungsoo made it like a walk in a park that our dad thought’d be the same for me. He’s now aiming for a master’s, and he shows that he’ll continue until he gets a PhD. 

I close my eyes, on the verge of crying, because I know where this will go now that Kyungsoo has decided that adding fuel to the fire is a good idea.  

“See?” My dad’s voice was so loud that I felt the vibration on the walls. “Stop making excuses for the behavior of your daughter. It’s the choice she made—it’s the path she wants to go. Why am I still paying for her school? Her car, clothes—even uses my card to buy alcohol and cigarettes—don’t be surprised that I know! I always check your transaction history.” 

He ended his sentence by pointing his index finger at my face as soon as I pushed myself up from the floor. I wanted to say something—things that have been going through my mind, but I’m tired... physically as I haven’t gotten a blink of sleep, and mentally... for so many things I couldn’t comprehend. 

I know the three of them are waiting for me to rebut but what they didn’t expect was for me to nod my head in confirmation. 

“Yeah... I smoke and I drink a lot, I even used your card for motels—” 

I already saw it coming on how he would react, but not like this. Although, it’s not the first time he had to discipline me physically, nobody predicted that the side of my head would hit the wall from the impact of his hit. The scene is a bit dramatic with my mom’s gasping and Kyungsoo bulging his eyes out. I don’t think it’s that serious as I still feel okay, just a bit dizzy, though my lip got cut and is bleeding from the actual slap. 

Deep down in my heart, I hope that my dad will apologize for his outburst, but I know I deserve it when he coldly said, “I’m done with you.” 

My dad didn’t throw me out directly—or he did—but he clearly stated that he didn’t want to see my face under his roof. I tried to call my friends but remember, I have none now and haven’t been in touch with my high school friends for years. It’d be weird to call them asking for a place to stay for the rest of the summer break. 

Obviously, he confiscated the credit card I typically use and the car I received as a gift when I finished high school. 

I didn’t even get a chance to take a rest even for a short while, and immediately packed my belongings with a heavy heart. I know what I’ve done, and I kind of deserve this punishment he’s giving me, but could I at least have an apology? Because that slap hurt so bad. 

Alright, maybe he thinks that I do not deserve anything for all the headaches I’ve given him. But can he at least ask me what’s going on? How’s school? Did someone hurt me? Am I okay? I can’t even remember the last time he asks me if I’ve eaten. That goes for my mom as well. 

“Where will you go?” 

Kyungsoo asks with a low voice while he watches me struggle to zip the suitcase close. I had to sit on top so my clothes would be compressed a little bit. I can only manage to carry a duffel bag and a large suitcase by myself; hence I must compromise. 

“Here and there,” I curtly respond, not batting an eye to him. I grab a plain t-shirt and walk towards the ensuite bathroom to change. Although I still have alcohol in my system and I’m still quite dizzy, I can’t deny the fact that my clothes smell terrible. 

“I can ask Junmyeon hyung if you can stay at his place,” he says right after I leave the bathroom. “He’s rarely home and I—” 

I scoff, rolling my eyes as I sling the duffel bag on my shoulder and grab the handle of the suitcase. “Why do you even care?” 

Kyungsoo looks taken aback by my reaction, perhaps thinking that I’d be kneeling before him in happiness that he’s offering his friend’s apartment for me to stay while our dad takes his time to cool off. “Of course I care, you’re my sis—” 

“No shit, Kyungsoo,” I laugh incredulously, not letting him finish his sentence. “Just few weeks ago, you literally said to my face how embarrassed you are because I’m in the same family tree as you.” 

I saw how his jaw went tight, seemingly out of words. And I could feel the lump in my throat; my eyesight got glossy as tears started to form in the brim of my eyes. I’ve never talked nor confronted them about the way they communicate with me. Whether how hurtful their words were, I would swallow my pride and isolate myself with despicable things I’ve done. 

I walk past him with the initial thought of not looking back, but I have something that needs to get out of my chest. “And no, Kyungsoo, you do not care about me—no one in this house does. So don’t act like a big brother now, it’s too late to do that.” 

Nowhere to go... 

Those are the words I’ve been repeating as I stare at the train station from a distance. I still have some cash that I kept hidden in case of emergency, and now I want to pat myself on the shoulder for thinking ahead—even though, this is not a good thing. 

I’m tired and starving.  

And I’m hoping that my life won’t be dark and cruel as it already is that it would suddenly rain when summer just started. 

I heave a deep breath, closing my eyes before I wheel my things with me. I cross the road as I walk towards the train station, with no specific destination in mind. 

My eyes are wide open, looking at the big screen with the details of departure and arrival times from and to the places I’ve never heard of before. Until my eyes reached the last town on the list, it would take almost five hours. It rings a bell, but I’m unsure where and when I’ve heard of it or if it’s just a figment of my imagination. 

I paid for a one-way ticket, bought myself a convenient store rice ball and a bottle of water, charged my phone to the outlet at the corner of the waiting area, and hoped for the best. 

I’ve been out of the country, of course, but travelling to somewhere with little to no money, with no backups or whatsoever, is terrifying. I don’t know where it will get me, however, I’m already desperate and I, honestly, want to get out of here for a while. 

I still have a year left in university, so there is a massive probability that I’ll be back before the semester starts. Even though I’m struggling to pass my course, I don’t have the desire to just drop out. Even if it means that I must start making money to support myself, I’ll do it. 

You don’t know how to do anything. How will you survive? 

I can hear my dad’s voice inside my head, reminding me how useless I’ve been to the family. 

Nuisance. 

I was labeled when I got into a massive fight with my brother in high school. I got into trouble when I hit him with my fist, but he was never once reprimanded for the way he talked to me since we were kids.  

My surroundings rushed when the town's name printed on my ticket was finally called to board. People gather their belongings and fall in the queue, waiting for the sliding door to be opened.  

So, this is it... 

I can’t wrap my head around that twelve hours ago, I had a black credit card with me, drinking with no limit, and now, I only have at least a hundred bucks in my pocket and clothes from a quarter of my closet.  

My suitcase was left on the baggage area at the end of the carriage, while my duffel bag was thrown on the overhead compartment. I plug my AirPods that thankfully got into my pocket earlier—or am I still drunk to remember that I brought it with me, while I watches the window beside my assigned seat displays buildings to transition slowly to trees and empty fields. 

When I jolted awake from the vibration of the train halting to a complete stop, it reminded me, like an ice-cold bucket of water splashed on my face, harsh and cruel, that I was, in fact, not dreaming. Most passengers are greeted by their loved ones when they exit the station. 

Unlike the one in the city, the station in this town is open air, facing the blue ocean with the sound of seagulls singing around. My heart feels like it's being tickled by a soft feather when the warm breeze of summer air hits my face.  

I can’t describe the smell, but it’s nothing like the air I breathe back in the city. There’s a distinct smell of the ocean, though it’s not unpleasant, but more on cozy sentiment. The sun shines bright and there are trees planted all over the place, contradicted with the cloudy and polluted city I grew up in. 

“Young lady—miss!” 

A faint voice interrupts my thoughts. I turn my head on the side and look over my shoulder to see an elderly woman walking briskly towards me. Her hair is white, her skin is wrinkly, and the top of her head only reaches my jawline.  

She gives me a kind smile, handing me a phone in her hand. “You dropped this.” 

My eyes widened as my hands frantically searched for the device I thought was in my pocket. “Oh, shit—oh, my God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to curse. I—” 

“It’s alright,” she gives my hand a pat, chuckling and seemingly amuse by my reaction. “You’re not from here, aren’t you?” 

I mumble an appreciation for the kind gesture before shaking my head to answer her question. “Uh, no. Not really.” I chuckle, a bit embarrassed that my appearance probably screams tourist. 

She looks delighted with my answer, setting her bag on the ground before clasping her hands excitedly. “We haven’t had visitors in this small town for such a long time! What a pleasant surprise this is!” 

“I mean,” I give her a smile before bashfully looking down at my feet, “trying something new, I guess.” 

“That’s wonderful!” she exclaimed, getting her bag from the ground. “Do you have an itinerary? Or would you want me to help you?” 

I hope my eyes didn’t glisten in relief when I look at her in disbelief. But then I remember how we were taught for ages to not talk to strangers, regardless of gender and age, to not trust anyone, to not take anything from them nor go with them to places. 

The old lady must have read my expression that she laughs, the corner of her eyes crinkling as they shaped into a crescent. “The sun is up, and there’s a lot of people around. I’m not going to kidnap you, dear. I’m old as you can see and can’t move fast. You can ask me questions about the town, and I will answer them. That’s it. All of us here get excited when someone visits this small town. Forgive this old grandma, my dear.” 

Warmth creeps up from my neck up to my face from embarrassment, concealing my scarlet red cheeks by looking around to act as if I’m looking for something. “I—uhm...” I rub the back of my neck, trying to get my brain to work despite being sleep deprived and hangover. “To be honest, I really don’t have any idea where to start. But would you happen to know where I can find a place to stay? Like an affordable hotel or something?” 

I internally cringe from the way I deliver the last few words. I sounded like a spoiled brat, and it’s not my intention. Maybe I should’ve asked where I can earn money instead... right? 

“Oh, dear...” her shoulders slumped as she sighs, looking like in deep thoughts while she thinks thoroughly about my inquiry. “We don’t really have hotels around here, but some families offer a room in their home for a price.” 

The horror-thriller movies I’ve watched before quickly flies out my mind, and I am that desperate to find a place to stay. 

“Do you happen to know where I can find one? But I only have a limited budget, so...” I grimace, internally crying with my situation. 

“Hmm... let me see,” she fished out a flip phone from her purse, dialing a number before pressing the device on her ear. I watch her every action like a lost sheep, making me realize how I took my lifestyle for granted. 

“Youngmi! It’s me!” she exclaimed, my shoulders flinching from how loud her voice is. “We have a visitor—yes! I’m surprised myself. But she’s looking for a place to stay—for how long?” 

She turns her focus to me, covering the phone's mic with her other hand. “For how long, dear?” 

For how long? Why haven’t I thought about that? I don’t know how long I’d be staying here... will my family look for me? Or am I getting my hopes too high for nothing? 

“Uh—two months, maybe?” 

The old lady looks stunned for a few seconds before clearing her throat to inform the other person on the line. “Two months, Youngmi. Is it okay—or? Okay, okay.” 

The phone call ended with a sigh and I’m not taking it as a good sign. “No?” My voice was small and quiet, feeling a little too hopeless with the thought that I’d probably sleep on the street tonight. 

She shakes her head, looking at me with sad eyes as if reading my mind and pitying me. “Her daughter-in-law will give birth anytime soon; she can’t lend her spare room that long. I’m so sorry, dear.” 

“Oh...” the corner of my lips curved downwards, feeling dejected, yet it was expected since nothing was planned with this little trip of mine. “That’s okay, though. Thank you so much for helping me—” 

“I have a spare room if you’d like,” she proposes, cutting me off in the middle of my dilemma. “I live by myself. My husband left this planet almost two years ago, but I do have some animals to keep me company. If you don’t mind some creatures waking you up early in the morning.” She ended her sentence with a chuckle, and I couldn’t help myself but smile, it’s contagious. 

“I—how much would that be?” I stutter, my heart thumping inside my chest for a couple of reasons. One, she could be a psycho despite her sweet appearance and would murder me in my sleep. Two, I only have a hundred bucks with me and have no other source of income. Maybe I can sell some of my things to pay for my stay? 

The old lady shrugs her shoulders, laughing quietly before patting and gently squeezing my arm. “I’m fine with how much you’re willing to pay. I’m already old and don’t need much money.” 

In a hurry, I unzip my duffel bag and hand her the crumpled bills in my hand, looking a bit guilty from how they are stored. I’m aware that what I’m doing is risky, but I can’t think of anything else other than a roof over my head. “This is everything I have right now, but I’ll find a way to pay you more—I swear.” 

The old lady looks lost for a minute, her eyes shifting from the messy bill on her palm to my round, pleasing eyes. “It’s—it’s alright, dear. Calm down. But—” she nods her head to my things. “We don’t really have public transportation here, and I usually walk. Are you alright with walking?” 

I don’t even go to the  gym to do a heavy workout since I prefer Pilates and yoga, but beggars can’t be choosers, right? Hence, I nod my head with a tight smile, hoping to God that it doesn’t look forceful. 

Or it did. 

She has a fond smile on her face as she shakes her head, dialing another number on her flip phone. “Baekhyun-ah! I’m so sorry to call you suddenly—ah, of course, this grandma knows how to use her phone now. Are you busy right now—oh, that’s great! Is it alright if you pick us up from the train station? Of course, I’ll pay you.” 

I am greatly astounded that this grandma seems to know everyone in this town, when I don’t even know our neighbor’s name even though we’ve been living beside them all my life. I’ve heard stories about how countryside residents have tight communities, unlike in the city, but witnessing it is another level. 

We both waited in front of the station for almost ten minutes until a beaten, on the looks of it, pick-up truck pulled up.  

A young man, looking around my age, jumps out of the truck. He has dark brown hair that seems really soft to touch, and a clear, sun kissed skin. He’s wearing a loose white T-shirt and a light blue jeans.  

“I should charge you double for interrupting my little date, Gran.” He laughs, giving the old lady a quick hug. “How’s your trip to the dreadful city?” 

The old lady who was addressed as Gran by this man, who I believe is Baekhyun from the phone call earlier, poked the side of his stomach, clicking her tongue. “It was fine, and we both know that you’re not on a date, Baekhyun. Everyone is out of your league.” 

Baekhyun places his hands on his chest, faking a grunt as if he has been hit. “That hurts, Gran-gran.” 

“Enough with the chitchat! Come, help us with these bags.” she pushed Baekhyun playfully to where my things are placed, and I think that’s the only time he notices that I was here the whole time. 

Now that he’s up-close, I’m able to see the moles on his face that look like a constellation, how droopy his eyes are, and how can I miss his triangular-shaped lips of his. It’s so pink, and glossy—what the hell am I thinking? 

“Oh, hi there,” he greet. Hisis facial expression immediateldroppedps, except for his ey, which quickly scanned my suitcase, shoes, andmy head. The tone of his voicbecamees hostile, far from his enthusiasm earlier. “From the city?” 

Five words. It only took him five words for me to realize that he’s not really fond of the city... or living creature from the city. 

“Yes, I am,” I answer him politely, forcing a smile that doesn’t reach my eyes. “Is there something I should be concerned about?” 

I saw how the corner of his eye twitches before he literally throws my suitcase on the back of his truck. My eyes widen and I swear I could hear my heart breaking. “What the fu—that’s a Rimowa’s special edition!” 

I’m fuming and I bet his ass that my face’s probably scarlet red, at the same time, praying that there’s no dents on my suitcase.  

“Baekhyun!” Gran scolded, slapping his arm, though she can use some force so Baekhyun and I can be even. “That’s not very nice.”  

Baekhyun, who is visibly upset for no reason at all, opens and closes the driver’s seat with so much force that I can’t help but flinch on how loud the door slammed. “Well—for starters, I’m not trying to be nice, Gran.” 

Gran looks at me with pity in her eyes, although I’m unable to comprehend what is happening, and what he saw in me that he made him this ill-mannered, when just few minutes ago, he was all friendly and making jokes with Gran. 

I have no choice but to shrug my shoulders, silently telling her that it’s fine and I’m not bothered at all. I really am not, yet somehow, I am. Or maybe I’m still hangover? 

When I open the passenger’s door, I’m instantly greeted by Baekhyun’s blazing eyes, trying so hard to look intimidating, but hey—that’s my life everyday back in the city. 

I roll my eyes, holding the door open for Gran to sit beside him instead, and I’ll take the seat beside the door. I haven’t been inside a vehicle which allows three people in the front—but I’ve never been in a pick-up truck before, so hey, who’s complaining? 

We drove for a few minutes in a very awkward silence, with me trying my best to look to my right and watch the trees and small houses on the side of the road until we reached the coastline, which, unfortunately, was on the left side.  

I’m appreciating the nature and this town in peace, being really careful not to glance at the man behind the wheel even for a nanosecond, but he seems to have a huge ego and scoffs.  

“Never seen an ocean before? Going to write blog about it so developers can get a piece of our land?” 

“Baekhyun!” Gran warned, scowling so hard that I’m starting to question if coming with her is a good idea. Because I seriously can’t afford any incident. 

I close my eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm myself and think of something relaxing and such, but the drop of alcohol in my system acts up, and something in me just snaps. “Okay, listen here, you motherfucker—” 

Adrenaline rush. That is what to blame for my sudden outburst. I can’t even remember the things I said because it’s obvious that they were nonsense and full of swearing. I probably uttered made-up curse words by each alphabet to showcase my pride and to prove this Baekhyun that I’m not backing out from his ego. 

I only stop when Gran shakes her head and places the side of her head on her palm, looking helpless since she’s sitting between Baekhyun and me.  

Fortunately, when I’m done swearing that my mama wouldn’t be proud of—but hey, since when did she, the pull-up truck halts on the side of the road and I didn’t even confirm with Gran if this is her house before I hastily open the door.  

I give Baekhyun one last look, and I’m not surprised that he’s already looking at me with much hatred and somewhat disgust. It takes a lot of me not to flip him off right there and then as Gran already looks so done with us. 

My breathing is restraint, fists turning white from how I’m gripping my palm, when Baekhyun decided to piss me one last time before driving off right after getting paid by Gran. 

“I won’t be surprised if you brought air purifier in that ugly looking suitcase of yours!”  

“It’s fucking Rimowa!” 

My glare didn’t leave his pickup truck once he drives off, chanting in my head to get him stung my bees on his dick. That is until I heard my metal suitcase being picked up from the ground I came back to my senses.  

“Gran—I,” I shake my head, closing my eyes, totally embarrassed from the way I behaved earlier with the man I’ve met for fifteen minutes. “I’m sorry—I hope it’s okay for me to call you Gran.” 

“Yes, my dear, don’t worry about it.” She smiles kindly, patting my arm to assure me. “I would like to apologize as well. Baekhyun can be quite... obnoxious.” 

“Obnoxious is quite an understatement for him,” I tried to laugh it off, dusting the duffel bag freakin’ Baekhyun threw on the soil. I mean, he could at least throw it on the pavement since it’s fabric and—oh... I see what he did. That motherfu— 

“He’s a nice kid, he really is. He just can get a little sensitive to people from the city.” Gran explains, gesturing with her hand to come inside her lawn. 

“What’s the deal with him anyway?” I distractedly ask, observing her pace and silently praying that there’s no bunker or some weird stuff around. Still having the thought of a scenario in thriller movies. 

I thought when she mentioned earlier that she has animals around, I’m thinking they’re just cats and dogs, and probably some rabbits. But what I didn’t expect to see is a barn with hens and roosters, pigs, goats—wait, is that a donkey? 

I was asked to sit in the breakfast nook in the kitchen where windows are on each corner, making the natural light be the source of brightness of the house. A mug of warm tea is placed on the table in front of me and I look at it skeptically, just a precaution and Gran laughs, shaking her head in amusement. 

“I didn’t put a potion or somethin’ on it,” she chuckles, “you want me to take a sip first, so you know it’s safe?” 

My cheeks flush, and I shake my head, abashed that I got caught doubting her. “Just so you know, I’m broke, and I have no money with me. I drink a lot of alcohol and I smoke, so you won’t make good use of my organs. I’m basically useless.” Okay, the last part hurts a bit. 

Gran laughs so loud, holding her stomach as she does. “You’re so clever, dear.” 

I scrunch my nose, repeating the saying: May the odds be ever in your favor, as I raise the mug to my lips to take a sip of the tea Gran prepared. “You’re the first person to say that—oh, this is good! What’s in this?” 

“Just chamomile tea with a teaspoon of honey.” Gran answers, her lips raising a little bit, though it almost interprets as sadness as she thinks of some long-lost memory. “Anyway, dear—” she changes the topic quickly that I wasn’t able to pry, “just bear with Baekhyun. I’ll talk to him to get him to apologize. There's no excuse for what he did, especially to a lady.” 

“Well, maybe that’s why he doesn’t get any dates,” I shrug my shoulders, seemingly impressed with how my brain works to roast Baekhyun until this moment.  

Gran laughs out loud once again, and I take a sip of the tea again, which is weirdly comforting and somehow nostalgic. “So, Gran, sorry for prying, but what’s up with that dude again and the piece of land he was talking about?” 

Her jolly expression immediately drops, a wave of sorrow washes through her eyes, and her shoulders deflate before she heaves a deep sigh. “I—it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Baekhyun was just referring to typical businessmen who like to buy everything they find pretty for their own interest.” 

My lips purse while I nod my head, understanding her sentiment since my father does the same. I can’t even count with my fingers how many enemies he has because of it. “Yeah, they’re the worst.” 

“Okay, enough about this town,” Gran chuckles, waving a hand in the air to dismiss the topic. She takes the seat in front of me and intertwines her fingers before resting them on the table. “You appear to be hesitant, but I have a feeling you’re desperate. I’m not going to pry, but everything okay, dear?” 

“Yes, Gran,” my mouth curves into a smile, the doubt in me slowly dissipating, however, I’m still not ready to share my story nor give a quick overview as to why I’m here. Maybe some other day, but not today. I’m beyond spent. “By the way, Gran. Why aren’t you asking for my name? Aren’t you scared that I might be a criminal or something?”  

She snorts, giving me a dirty look. “You went ballistic when Baekhyun threw your things but didn’t raise a finger to him or me. I’m pretty sure I’m safe.” 

I press my lips together as a flush creeps up my face, still embarrassed by my outburst earlier. “Okay, let’s not mention that ever again.”  

I give Gran a kind smile, reaching my right hand to formally introduce myself. I tell her my name as we shake hands. She asks for some basic information, and I willingly answer. “I still have a year left in university, and I’m turning twenty-two in November. I live in the city my whole life and I don’t really have a good relationship with my family, so I can’t say much about them, but that’s another story to tell.” 

We talk for over an hour before I’m unable to stop the humiliating yawn coming out of my mouth. Gran shakes her head with a fond smile on her face before asking me to follow her to the spare room she has. 

The room is completely empty, except for a few dusty boxes on the corner that I probably won’t get near because I’m allergic to dust... I think.  

With the use of teamwork, Gran and I also managed to unbox and inflate the air mattress she got from Secret Santa from last year’s Christmas. I have no idea how to follow a manual and Gran is too old for such things. We both laugh it off and call it a night. 

I didn’t see Baekhyun again until my third day here. 

I came out clean to Gran the next morning. I stayed in her house and told her about my shortcomings in money. I had to ask her for sources in the town since I still had to feed myself, although she reassured me multiple times that I shouldn’t worry about basic stuff. 

She looked disappointed, nonetheless, and didn’t comment further on the situation as to why my dad kicked me out of the house.  

Since locals don’t know me yet, Gran decided to let me help in her barn instead. Taking the light tasks for now; such as feeding the animals, collecting the eggs from the hens, cleaning their stuff, and the lists go on.  

It’s a lot of adjustment since I do nothing at home, and have zero knowledge in basic home chores, what more working in a barn. But Gran is patient towards me, teaching and guiding, before letting me do the job for the rest of the day. 

On the second day—and the third day since I stayed here, Gran let me do the delivery. Nothing much. I just have to deliver the eggs to the market, get the money, then I can come back to the barn.  

I feel like a loser when Gran asked me if I know how to ride a bicycle since she doesn’t own a car, or vehicle, for me to use to deliver the eggs to the market.  

When she pulls out her flip phone and dials a number, I already know that my day will be ruined. 

“How come a human being can’t ride a simple bicycle?” 

I shut my eyes close. The urge to slam my head on the windowsill is too much. I can’t keep track of how many timeshas had said those words. 

For a second, I decided to protect my peace and let this be done with, butkepteeps going on, uttering the most sensitive topic in my life. “Didn’t your father or mother teach you?” 

“How come a human being like you won’t stop talking?” 

That seems to shut him up as he has his lips pursed when I peek at him at the corner of my eye. The veins on his hands become prominent from how tight he’s gripping the stirring wheel. Feeling like a little pride in me, I decide to continue—you know, just to piss him off since I don’t have my suitcase with me. “What? Did I strike a nerve?” 

No response. 

“You must love your truck so much that you both won’t stop making unnecessary noise—” 

My hands are fast to hold on titot on my seatbelt when Baekhyun swerve on the right, extending his arm to open the passenger’s door. I’m still catching my breath and my heart is still pumping rapidly in my chest. 

“Get out.” 

“W-wait, are you serio—” 

“Out!” 

He didn’t scare me. He looks nothing scary. But he looked visibly upset that I started to rethink what I had said. I wanted to apologize, but at the same time, he doesn’t have the right to talk to me the way he’s done since we met.  

Once again, I glare at his truck as he drives away with the eggs Gran asked me to deliver. It’s his problem now. I can just be honest with Gran and tell her how Baekhyun kicked me out of his truck in the middle of the road with the blazing sun in the sky. 

I keep cursing Baekhyun on my way back to Gran’s house. I’m really bad with direction that I circled the same intersection for at least three times. I’m sweaty, flushed, dehydrated, sunburned because I freakin’ forgot to wear sunscreen—and I’m not even sure if I packed any because I was hella hangover that day.  

“Thanks, Gran! See ya later!” 

Speaking of the devil. My heart is full of hatred when I hear his voice, the owner of the voice who is reason for my suffering; the reason why my skin is burning and my head spinning. 

Baekhyun looks surprised upon seeing me slowly walking towards the porch where he and Gran are, then his expression turns into amusement when he realizes I’m fuming with anger. 

“You motherfu—” 

I was cut off, or more like, my rage was cut off when Gran merrily called my name, clasping her hands together. “Dear, thank you so much for delivering the eggs. Though we were a bit late than scheduled, Baekhyun here told me that the market paid him well. And he lost you in the crowd? Is everything okay?” 

The corner of his lips quirked up, while the corner of my eye twitched. Lost? He freakin’ left me, kicked me and let me walk kilometers away from this place. “L-lost...?” 

“Yes, you got distracted, remember? I told you to stay close since the market can be quite crowded in the middle of the day.” Baekhyun lies through his teeth, and I’m amazed that he didn’t even stutter.  

I’m about to expose what really happened but he’s quick to walk towards where I am, bumping his shoulder with mine, not before eyeing my burnt face. “You look like Peppa Pig,” he whispers to my ear, making sure Gran won’t hear. 

I gasp loudly, having the strong urge to punch his face. However, before I can even react, he waves his hand to Gran who returns his smile, “I’ll get going now, Gran! Call me if you need anything!” 

I look at Gran incredulously, but she just shrugs her shoulder before chuckling. “You two are adorable.” 

“Ew—Gran, no!” I almost fainted right there and then. 

It’s no news that I’m having trouble sleeping, much more in this unfamiliar town, not in my room nor my bed. Though I did manage to close my eyes to rest for a bit, it’s far from sleeping to recover my energy. 

I’m already up before five in the morning and couldn’t be more surprised how chilly it is when the sun hasn’t risen yet. 

My phone has been untouched since I got here, hence I have no access to the internet, and Gran flip phone is not really functional except for making calls and texts.  

I tried to do some physics I learned in high school to balance myself on Gran’s old cruiser bicycle, so I won’t bother—or more like interact with Baekhyun the next time I have to deliver something again. 

But again, I’m not the wisest kid in the block, never was, and I can’t tell you how many times my face came contact with the ground. I’m close to getting really injured and was about to give up when a familiar, unpleasant, roaring engine pulled up beside where I am. 

“What do you want now?” I groan, praying to heavens to know what I did wrong to be punished this early in the morning. 

Baekhyun chuckles in amusement. He’s wearing a plaid shirt under a white T-shirt. His hair is a mess, and obviously unwashed. “Oh, now you’re learning how to ride a bicycle.” 

“Just—” I close my eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm myself so I won’t make a scene like I have been doing around him. It’s too early and most people are still asleep. “Be on your way, Baekhyun. It's too early to deal with you.” 

“Hey, come on now,” I groan once again when he turns off the engine and gets out of this truck. “Gran texted me to give you a chance—mind you, that old lady doesn’t text anyone. So, don’t waste the chance I’m giving you now.” 

He sounds so arrogant, and I’m aware that he’s doing it on purpose to get on my nerves. I press my lips together before forcing a smile, breathing through my nose as I raise my head a little to look at him in the eye. “Can you come closer?”  

But he smiled mischievously, shaking his head. “I know what you’re gon’ do. You’ll bump your forehead on mine. I’ve seen that trick everywhere, so puh-lease.” 

I nod my head and smile innocently. “No, no. I’m not going to do that, I’ll hurt myself more than I’ll hurt you. I just have something to say to you.” 

“You can say it to me with distance.” 

“Then I’d rather not say it.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, huffing, before leaning his ear closer to me. “You’re so stubborn. What the heck you want to tell me—ah!!!” 

I normally don’t resort to violence, and I just mentioned earlier that I do not want to cause a scene, especially when the sun hasn’t risen yet. 

I just had to do it. 

As soon as his ear was a few centimeters away from my mouth, even though he was not yet done talking, I opened my mouth and sink my teeth on it. I meant to let him experience my wrath just a little bit, however, I don’t know what’s gotten into me that I bit him harder than I intended to. Or maybe I didn’t expect him to squeal like a girl. 

Expectedly, Gran walks out of the front door with a lamp in her hand, still in her sleepwear and obviously just woken up from how loud Baekhyun was. Not only Gran, but the houses nearby light up to let us know they were awakened by the noise. 

“I’m so disappointed to both of you.” Gran shakes her head as me and Baekhyun sit in her living room, the latter holding his ear as he pouts. “I don’t understand why the both of you can’t get along? Or just be civil with each other? If you don’t like each other, just don’t talk, don’t interact—and I don’t even want to know how Baekhyun ended up with a bleeding ear.” 

I can only roll my eyes when Baekhyun points his finger at my face, plastering an innocent face. “Oh, sure. Blame it on the person from the city, because I’m the bad guy here, and you’re an innocent countryside jerk.” 

He looks taken aback by what I said. He opens his mouth and closes it a few times like a fish out of water, but no words came out from his mouth. 

“Okay, now...” Gran tries to calm us down, more specifically to me. “Dear, please... let’s keep everything in place and talk calmly. Can we do that, please, hmm?” 

“I don’t know your beef with people from the city—” I ignore Gran and lock my eyes with Baekhyun who looks surprised as the old lady standing in front of us. “—but there are thousands of people living there, millions even, and I do not know each one of them. If you have a problem with them, then take it out on them, not on me! I don’t even know you and you’ve been nothing but disrespectful to me the minute we met. And now you’re going to blame me for—” 

“Okay, dear, calm down...” Gran had to sit down between us and place her hand on my arm, “you made your point, and we understood it. Right, Baekhyun?” 

The guy just stares at my face, not moving a single muscle, that, until Gran nudges his knee. “Y-yeah...” 

“And what do you say, Baekhyun?” Gran presses on, urging an apology from him. 

Baekhyun sighs, licking his bottom lip. “I—I’m sorry...” 

“Thank you, Baekhyun,” Gran smiles before turning her attention back to me. “Dear?” 

My eyes widen as I gape at her. “Why me—” 

“It’s never okay to hurt someone, dear...” 

I sigh in defeat, definitely agreeing with her sentiment. “Fine. I’m sorry for biting your ear.” But I don’t think I need to apologize for anything else than that. 

It feels like déjà vu the next time I see Baekhyun. It’s almost five in the morning, and I’m teaching myself to ride a bicycle again when his truck pulls up.  

“’Sup?” 

I dramatically groan, placing my feet on the ground to balance myself as I watch him get out of his truck. “What now, Baekhyun? Do you want your other ear to get bitten this time—and why the hell are you out this early?” 

Baekhyun scrunches up his face in judgement, or disgust—I can’t really distinguish. He places a hand on the handlebar just beside my own hand and wiggles it as if to test if it’s sturdy enough. “I think this need a little bit of fixing, and I can see from here how rusty the chain is, we might need to oil or, worst scenario, change it.” 

He ends his sentence with a smile, which made me frown because he never smiles when my presence is around. My face contorted, unable to comprehend what was happening. Then I raise my brows at him to answer my question earlier, and I’m glad he gets the message. 

“I help with the boats at midnight, and we just finished a while ago. This is like my part-time job. And no, I don’t want my other ear to get bitten, thank you very much.” 

I look at him skeptically, “Okay... and what are you doing here? Talking to me like a normal person?” 

He sighs, his chest puffing out as he does. “Well, we were off to a bad start, and I do realize how jerk I was to you. And I would like to apologize for the way I behaved. I also want you to know that I’m not kind of a person.” 

“Gran wrote that script, yes?” I roll my eyes, though I can’t stop the corner of my lips from curving up. 

Even with the lack of bright rays of the sun, and the only source of light is from the lamppost on the road, I see how he smiles as well. “That obvious, huh?” 

“Very,” I chuckle, slapping his hand away from the handlebar. “The choice of words was much mature and totally far from who you are.” 

“Hey! I rehearsed my lines all night. Be appreciative, can you?” 

“Oh, I will, once you fixed the chain something—I’m not really sure what’s the function of,” I get off the bike and push it towards Baekhyun who drops his expression to a deadpan. 

“Will I be getting paid?” he asks, taking a quick look at Gran’s old cruiser bicycle.  

“Well, I don’t have extra money,” I sniff, looking away to hide my broke-ness, and play it cool. And I was quick to stop him when he was about to drop the bike when he learned I don’t have money to pay him. “I can show you my tits? Guys like chest, right? They’re not that big but they’re pretty decent—” 

“What the fu—” 

“Okay, okay! I’m just kidding, sheesh!” Or not. 

“Just stop talking. Can you do that, please?” he emphasizes the last word as he started working on the bicycle and I nod my head like an obedient child. 

Almost half an hour later and a greasy Baekhyun, I’m finally back on my bicycle, learning how to cruise without falling face first.  

By six-thirty in the morning, Gran walks out of the front door, beyond surprise to see Baekhyun helping me attach a semi-large basket on the rear rack of the bicycle. “Lovely morning, kids! And Baekhyun, you need a bath.” 

I look at the man in topic, eyeing him from head to toe and boy did he need a good ol’ scrubbing. “He does.” 

Baekhyun looks me dead in the eye before raising his brows. “Seriously? After I explained what a chain does to a bicycle after I taught you how to balance yourself by pedaling because physics wasn’t working, and gravity was failing you?” 

“Shut up! That’s supposed to be a secret and not to be said out loud.” I walk past him, purposely bumping my shoulder on him. “And you stink; you really do need a bath.” 

“Okay—come on, come on. Don’t ruin the bond you just created,” Gran waves her hand for us to go inside. “Let’s have breakfast together. And Baekhyun, please, help yourself in the bathroom.” 

And I received another glare when I snickered not so subtly. 

Since that eventful morning, I’ve been civil with Baekhyun. We may bicker here and there, but no ear-biting incident has ever occurred henceforth. 

I’ve also been delivering stuff to the market, or sometimes door to door, when Gran needs a helping hand. My bicycle journey is going well, though there were few minor troubles, but nothing serious that should be cause for concern. 

At times, if he had time, he’d go with me to the market or around the town—or maybe, most probably rather, Gran forced him to. 

And that became the reason as why I met Jisoo. The gorgeous lady that is way out of his league. 

“Gran’s right, everyone is out of your league,” I mutter as soon as Jisoo is already out of sight.  

We stopped by the bakery which Jisoo’s family runs and where she works. She’s nice and friendly, already asked me to come by next time I’m free so she can give me a proper tour around. And I didn’t fail to notice how Baekhyun ogles at her. He looked like he was about to whack my head when I used that term to explain how he was looking at the lady. 

“Not everyone, because that means you’re included,” he simply answers. My eyes widen in shock, gaping at what he just said. Fortunately, he immediately clears things up, but not before rolling his eyes and scoffing. “I am the one who’s out of your league. I’m way better than you.” 

Although I find it offensive, I sigh in relief and wipe an imaginary sweat on my forehead. “Phew, for a minute I thought you were flirting with me.” 

“I’m offended.” 

I think it’s been over two weeks now or so—I don’t know, I stopped counting the days. 

I’m scared to turn on my phone. I’m scared that there will be no text messages nor calls from my family asking my whereabouts or showing their worry on my well-being.  

I’m scared because I have a feeling inside me that I already know the answer to that. 

Always have been. 

The clock shows two in the morning, and I’m on Gran’s roof with the pack of cigarettes I didn’t forget to bring along. Putting a stick between my lips before inhaling deeply, holding my breath for a second, and exhaling the smoke out of my mouth. 

This always made me calm; my nerves feel soothed, my mind would stop running for a minute, and the smell developed as a comfort to me. 

Although I know the risks of smoking, it’s the only way that I know of to cope in life... my life. 

“Holy crap, I thought something was burning up here.” 

I almost jumped from the roof when a voice interrupted my deep thoughts. And my reflex is to throw away the butt of the cigarette after squashing down the tip.  

I peek over my shoulder and see Baekhyun carefully scooting next to me, making sure that his movement won’t make a fuss and wake up the owner of the house. 

“What the hell? Do you really appear everywhere I’d go?” I roll my eyes at him, taking another stick from the box and offering it to him, which he declines almost immediately. 

“I didn’t know you smoke,” Baekhyun mumbles while he watches me flick the lighter to the tip of the cigarette. “That’s not really good for your health, or mine, since you’re exposing me to secondhand smoking.” 

I chuckle at him quite lowly, looking up to the dark sky filled with stars, which I don’t often get to see back at home as the light pollution in the city is crazy. “Tell me something I don’t know, Baekhyun, then I might be interested to listen. And you’re the one who came up here, you’re free to go and save your lungs, mister.” 

I expected another smart response from him per our usual banter, but when I heard nothing, I carefully remove my stare from the sky to look at him, and more than surprise to see him already looking at my face with expression I can’t define.  

“W-what?” My voice tried so hard to sound my normal self, but it came out breathless.  

He blinks as if he’s snaps out of his trance. “I—n-nothing... I’m just curious...” 

I sniff, sitting up straight before smiling innocently at him. “Oh, I like where this is going. You’re curious about my life. Okay, Baekhyun, ask away. I’m so glad finally pique your interest.” 

Baekhyun looks like he’s about to toss me out of the roof, so I instantly shut my mouth and smile even more. Then he clears his throat, exhaling heavily. “I’m just curious... I mean I know your name, but from Gran. I know we’re almost the same age, and you’re from the city. However, when I asked Gran about why you’re here, because you’re obviously not here to be a tourist, she won’t tell me.” 

My eyes squint at him for a second, and then I proceed to raise a brow at him. “So, you want the tea?” 

He tilts his head, seemingly confused. “What tea?” 

“Never mind,” I purse my lips, breathing through my nose, trying so hard not to say something ridiculous. 

He snorts, shaking his head. “I’m just kidding, I know what tea means. For your information, we’re quite civilized here.” 

I exhale in relief, holding a hand on my chest. “Oh, that’s great to hear. I was about to say green tea or chamomile tea.” 

Baekhyun laughed out loud, “You’re so lame!” and I had to place my palm on his mouth.  

“Shh! You’ll wake Gran up!” When he nods his head, I disgustingly look at my palm, playfully wiping it on his shirt. 

“So...” he trails off, poking my arm with his finger. “You deliver eggs to the market, but you use a very expensive sunscreen. You’re not here for a vacation, aren’t you?” 

“Not beating around the bush, I see.” I tried to laugh it off, trying my luck that maybe he’d change the topic, but he raises his brows as he waits for my answer. “Well... it’s a long story.” 

“I’m done working, so I have all night to listen.” he answers immediately, pushing my shoulder with his. “Come on.” 

I exhale through my nose, lifting the cigarette up in the air. “You see this? My dad hates this, and alcohol. I do a lot of both, apparently. So, he threw me out of the house. He also confiscated my credit card and I only had around hundred bucks, so Gran took me in.” 

It’s not like I’m not comfortable telling people what I’ve done to get my father ballistic, but I honestly don’t know how to put what really happened in words. I don’t know how to verbalize things, emotions, and such. So, I’m really out of place when Baekhyun waits for another word to come out of my mouth. 

“End of story,” I grin at him, hoping that he won’t be able to read my mind.  

He looks at my face for a few moments, not leaving my eyes as it feels like he’s staring into my soul, as dramatic as it may sound. “That’s a really long story,” he shakes his head, and the tone of his voice is sarcastic. He stood on his feet and dusted his pants, “You seem no fun. I’m going home now.” 

I send him a glare before scrunching my nose at him. “I’m just confirming your assumption of me being a spoiled brat.” 

“I never said you’re a spoiled brat,” he quickly denies, looking at me like I have two heads on my neck. 

“But you’ve thought about it,” I tease him, wiggling my eyebrows at him. 

“You can’t blame me for that though. You keep saying: it’s Rimowa, it’s Rimowa, that I had to search on the internet what the heck is a Rimowa. I honestly thought it was a freakin’ country!” 

It was my turn to laugh out loud, and he had to put his palm on my mouth. 

The next time I see Baek,hyun it is almost five in the morning. I couldn’t sleep; hence I let my curiosity get the best out of me and went to where the “boats” are. 

It’s still dark, although the streetlamps illuminate the path on the way there. As I near the dock, my surroundings come from crickets to men shouting and laughing, I’m not sure anymore, but they’re thunderous. 

“Excuse me,” I raise a hand to a middle-aged man who’s about to pass by. He looks confused as he waits for me to talk. “Is Baekhyun around?” 

The man's frown fades away. Baekhyun’s name must’ve rang a bell. “Oh, Byun? I think he’s still on Youngtae’s boat.” 

There are hundreds of things going through my mind at once, but the most significant of them are: Baekhyun last name is Byun, which I haven’t heard until now—and I do hope that he’s the only Baekhyun in this town, and the other one is, who the hell is Youngtae and how would I know where his boat is? 

I know that people in this town know each other like they know the alphabet, but I’m not from here and I’m having quite a hard time adjusting when it comes to this kind of scenario. 

I can only chuckle awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck before pointing my thumb behind my shoulder. “Yeah... I think I’ll go for now but tell him I said hi.” 

The man, who looks really buff and has a tattoo sleeve on his left arm, slowly nods his head, perhaps unsure what is happening... as why a woman casually walked to the dock and asked for someone but would leave eventually. “Yeah... sure—you’re not from here, aren’t you?” 

I have no idea as to why I did it, but I exaggeratedly sigh—I don’t know, probably in relief that someone recognizes my naïve-ness of this town, even though I’ve been here for almost a month now. “That obvious, huh?” 

“Yeah—” he points his fingers on his ear, “locals don’t do that.” 

I didn’t understand what he meant at first, but then I realized he was referring to my earrings, several of them. My mouth forms an O shape and I nod my head to his arm as well. “Locals don’t do that either.” 

He laughs, extending his hand out for me to shake. “You got me there. I’m Hanjo, but just call me Han, people here call me that.” 

I nod my head, giving him a smile before telling him my name. “So, you’re not from here as well?” I ask, genuinely curious if he’s from the city, too. 

“So, Byun knocked you up?” he doesn’t even miss a beat and immediately changes the topic, though I did get shocked by his assumption. 

“Excuse me?” 

Han clears his throat, looking like he sobers from the way I change my tone of voice. “Sorry, that came out harsh. That Byun guy tends to play around when he’s out of town, and I thought you were here because of that.” 

I’m still looking at him skeptically, and the corner of my mouth almost drew back a snarl. “Uh, no, we’re just friends—sorry, I can’t stop myself from saying this, but I do not appreciate how you’re addressing Baekhyun.” 

“Oh, sassy—you from the city?” he tried to laugh it off, althoucouldI can see that he didn’t mean to be rude, probably just how guys talk, or I don’t know, guys their age. 

I opened my mouth, about to say something smart, but I heard my name being called by a familiar voice. I look over Han’s shoulder, and it’s a bit of a challenge since he’s quite huge, and see Baekhyun’s surprised, at the same time, smiling face. 

“Hey! What brings you here?” Baekhyun pats my arm, showcasing his perfectly aligned teeth, he then gives a nod to Han. “Hey, Han.”  

“Byun, I thought you’ve dropped out years ago. How can you still score someone from the city?” Han asks Baekhyun, and I had to remind myself that they are both males, and that’s just how they communicate... I hope.  

But what caught my attention is Baekhyun dropping out. From what? University? He attended university in the city? 

“Come on, Han.” Baekhyun chuckles, though the tone of his voice goes one note down, making him sound so manly. “That’s not a nice way to talk to someone you don’t know.” 

“Oh, but we know each other, right?” Han turns to me, calling my name as if we’ve been friends for decades. I can only make a face, turning to Baekhyun as a silent signal to get me out of here. Acouldn’tcan’t be more glad that he got the message instantly. 

“Okay! We’ll get going now, Han. Don’t drink too much, okay? Gran wouldn’t be so happy that you’re causing trouble here.” Baekhyun holds my arm, bringing me along with him as he walks away, not waiting for Han to respond. 

Baekhyun asks me to wait in his truck while he gets his things from the boat. He comes back not even five minutes later, not beating around the bush, when he removes the thin sweater he’s wearing and changes into a clean T-shirt. 

“Okay. Thank you for giving me a show, really enjoyed it.” I tried to play it cool, hiding how my cheeks blush when I saw the curve of his abs. Damn, he’s been working out. 

He laughs, throwing his sweater on my face and my nose crinkles at the smell. Sweat and seafood. He starts the car and starts driving, and I didn’t bother to ask where he’s taking me, though I have a hint that he’ll just drive me back to Gran’s place. 

“I have a question,” I break the silence, looking at his side profile, and I can’t believe I missed how his nose looks good on this side.  

“I had a hunch you have,” he chuckles, not taking his eyes off the road. 

I click my tongue, glaring at him for a second. “You said that Gran wouldn’t be happy with what Han was doing. Do they know each other? I mean, yeah, everyone knows everyone here. But you know...” 

“Hmm...” Baekhyun purses his lips as he thinks, and I almost coo at how he looks ado; ate, at the same time, almost slap myself for thinking that way. “I’m not sure if I’m in the position to tell you that.” 

“Oh, come on. I thought you like tea!”  

“Green tea or chamomile?” he repeats the joke I told him the other day, earning a glare from me. “I’m kidding. I’ll tell you, but no follow up question about it, okay?” 

I nod my head excitedly like a child. 

“Gran is Han’s mother.” Baekhyun simply said, shrugging his shoulder as if everyone should’ve known about this information. 

I can only gape athim, before verbalizing my thoughts. “I thought Gran doesn’t have a kid. I obviously guessed wrongly.” 

“Kids.” 

My jaw almost dropped on the ground, and my eyes went wide as a saucer. “No fucking way. Where’s the other one? Or how many she has?” 

“No follow up question, remember?” Baekhyun smirks, raising a brow.  

“Oh, come on. You’re no fun!” I groan at him, wanting to slap the smirk off his ,face but he’s driving, and I don’t want to risk it. 

Baekhyun laughs this time, shaking his head. “Well, I’m not going to be like you who didn’t finish her story.” That did earn him a slap on his arm, though not forcefully. He whines, rubbing the spot I hit before continuing, “Gran has two sons. Her oldest is out there, conquering the world, and you see Han... you already saw where he is in life.” 

My figure stiffens for a while, and it takes me a little while to slowly sit up straight, looking ahead of me. I didn’t want the ride to be weird, so I snickered, giving Baekhyun a playful look. “That sounds really familiar.” lookedlook into each other’s eyes for only a few seconds since he had to focus on the road, and I’m glad he didn’t say anything. But I know. I know that he has a feeling what I meant by that. 

The only time a word was said was when I realized that the road he drives on is a different route to where Gran’s house is.  

“Where—” 

“Consider yourself lucky,” he stops the car on the side of the road, pulling the handbrake before unbuckling his seatbelt. I have no choice but to fo his suit. I jump out of his truck and follow him wherever he’s taking me.  

We trek for ten minutes and I’m starting to catch my breath. “Y-you, motherfu—” 

“Just wait and see, it’ll be worth it.” Baekhyun claims, and his enthusiasm rubbing on my unfit body.  

I sit next to him on a bed of grass with little white flowers all over it. “You didn’t even ask me if I want to be driven back to Gran’s house, or if I want to torture myself by hiking before six in the morning, without breakfast, mind you.” 

“Hey, be appreciative, can you?” he bumps his shoulder with mine. “This is secret hideout. I brought you here because you look like you’re turning into a panda—what the hell happened to your eyebags, seriously?” 

His tone was playful, and I’m aware he was. He’s only doing it as a part of our normal banter-slash-daily conversation, but I smile sadly, shaking my head. “It’s nothing...” 

“Hey, come on,” he sighs, scooting closer to me, “I just gave you a tea that I’m not supposed to talk about. A little trust here, please?” 

“I’m—I—” I exhale heavily, biting my bottom lip, contemplating for a while if I should be talking about this to someone I barely know. But then, he has been there for me despite being a jerk at first. “I’m having trouble sleeping.” 

He nods his head; judgment is absent on his face. And I take it as a good sign that he’s listening to me. “Did it start when you arrived here?” 

I shake my head, starting to f my tears forming on the brim of my eyes, and I’m more than surprised because I can’t even remember the last time I cried. 

Was it when my parents didn’t attend my middle school graduation? Or was it when no one remembered my sixteenth birthday?  

I don’t know. 

“Two, three years ago? I don’t know—I honestly can’t remember.” 

Baekhyun heaves a deep trembling breath, trying to look calm as possible. “Have you got it checked? Are taking medication to help you sleep?” 

I shake my head once again, looking ahead. “No. My dad will know since I didn't really have money of my own and used his card back home. He checks all my transaction, and I’m scared that they might found out about it.” 

“Then, how do you cope?” 

I shrug my shoulders, turning my head to look at him, giving him the most genuine smile I can ever give, although it’s a sad smile. “Alcohol makes me sleepy, and cigarette soothes my nerve.” 

He doesn’t say anything for a good minute or two, and I’m starting to get worried about how I shouldn’t have told him my troubles, but when he spoke, his voice is much calmer, soothing, and quiet. “Now I know why you were always up to learn how to ride a bike in the middle of the night.” 

I laugh at his statement, the corner of my eyes crinkling in the process. “Yeah... I couldn’t sleep so , I might as well tire myself out.” 

“Is it also why you were at the dock?” 

I nod my head, “Yep, decide to take a long walk then try to go to sleep. But I saw where the dock is, and the rest is history.” 

Baekhyun hums before patting me; his mouth curves up into a gentle smile. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this.” 

I don’t know what to say or how to react. But all I know is that I’m glad I told him what happened to me. My eyes didn’t leave him for a minute until he tilted his head in the direction in front of us, asking me to look at it.  

I didn’t even realize how long we’d been sitting there. The dark sky slowly turns golden. Rays of sun start peeking out at the line where the sky meets the sea. Seagulls start singing like they did when I first arrived here in this town, the sound of waves of the ocean hitting the shore... it’s incredible. 

I hold my breath, mesmerized by the majestic viewthe  of sunrise in this partthe  of the country. My first instinct was to curse to express how gorgeouswast is, but Baekhyun cuts me beforcould can even open my mouth. 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” 

My head turns to look at him, a huge grin on my face to show how much I agree with his statement, but when my eyes get the sight of his face getting hit by the soft ray of sunlight, I am lost for words. 

Words wouldn’t come out between my lips, and I feel like I turn into a rock when I force myself to look away from him.  

It feels like I can’t look at anything else but him. 

Beautiful indeed. 

A month in this ,town and I’m handling it quite well than I expected on my first day.  

Of course, it’s not sunshine and rainbows with unicorns every single day. I’ve had a fair share of bad days. Although most of them were nothing serious, I could still say: Tomorrow’s a new day! 

But nothing compares to what happened when Jisoo asked me to hang out, and she’d tour me around the town—properly, as she clearly claimed.  

Don’t get me wrong, it went well. She’s probably one of the kindest people around here, next to Gran, but then again, everyone in this town is friendly and welcoming.  

I didn’t have the bicycle with me that day because Jisoo insisted on picking me up from Gran’s house and we went around the town in her sedan. And when the sun started to set, she offered to drive me back to Gran’s and of course, I agreed because I don’t have the will in me to walk that far, but surprise, surprise, Baekhyun’s truck pulled up on the side of the road, honking noisily to get our attention. 

I’m aware of his little crush on Jisoo; he made it obvious the first time I met the latter, and he made it obvious again this time. 

Of course, I brushed it off, reminding myself that we have nothing going on between us and convincing myself that I don’t have anything going on for him—and I really do hope I’m doing a great job on that. 

However, it felt like a bucket of ice-cold water was splashed on my face when I heard their conversation. 

“Chivalry is not dead, Baekhyun?” Jisoo giggled, pushing Baekhyun’s shoulder with her hand, and the man had the cheek to blush. “Always ready to pick her up, huh? Never seen you put an effort to a girl before.” 

“Oh, it’s not like that...” he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “She’s from the city, and I’m doing Gran’s a favor.” 

At that moment, I had to rethink if I had the stamina to walk all the way back to Gran’s. I wanted to be alone, but Baekhyun literally pushed me inside his truck. 

He might be thinking that I’m just being sulky since I do that quite often when I lose every time we bicker. He acts normal as if he didn’t say those words earlier about me, being well aware that I was around and could hear them perfectly. 

I close my eyes and pretend to take a rest while he tells a hilarious story from his day job. Though I’m pretty tired, I still have some energy left in me. I just don’t want to see his face. 

But Baekhyun is quite smart. He figures out three later. Okay, that might be long for others, but I’m still civil with him, to the point no one notices how I tried so hard to avoid him unless necessary. 

I may not be academically smart, but I can be quite observant. I’d be up extra early to finish the errands Gran listed out for me the night before—she doesn’t usually do it, but I kind of forced her to, so I’d know in advance what I’d be doing for the day. 

Then, when he’d come over unannounced, I’d go feed Gran’s animals their second dinner. 

Everything was going well for me until I got invited to hang out with Jisoo and her friends. I really wanted to say no, but Gran looked so happy when Jisoo came knocking on her door. 

“Oh, dear, it’s alright! I’ll pack the leftovers and put them in the fridge. You can heat it up when you’re still hungry once you’re back.” she said when I tried using her meatloaf as an excuse for me not to go. 

That’s how I met Jongdae, the talkative but gentlemanly guy; Minseok, their hyung who’s always looking out for others if they have enough beer in their system and send them home.  

I’m really bad with names and can’t remember most of Jisoo’s circle, but they keep talking to me because, apparently, they’re Baekhyun friends and heard about me from the man himself. 

“Why is he not here, though?” Curiosity got the best of me when Baekhyun’s friends were were here, and of course, Jisoo’s here. “Did he not get an invite?” 

Jongdae laughs and slaps my shoulder like we’ve known each other our whole lives. Minseok chuckles at the sight before taking a swig of his beer. “Baekhyun’s always invited. In fact, he’d be there before you can invite him. But we don’t know—said that he’s not feeling well or somethin’.” 

I frown upon hearing that. He seemed fine when he dropped by this morning at Gran’s. “What—is he sick?” 

“He’s sick alright,” Jongdae snorts, drinking his beer, and Minseok nudges him with his knee. “Hey—you know what? Let’s take a picture to capture this moment.” 

My expression twists at the sudden change of subject, nonetheless, I force the best I could ever give as soon as Jongdae put his phone an arm away after switching to the front camera. “Say: Baekhyun’s sick!” 

I didn’t follow him, though I did manage to sneak an eye roll before he hit the capture button. 

“Send it to me, I’d like a copy,” Minseok says, taking his phone out from his pocket. Jongdae nods his head, tapping the screen of his phone before gasping out loud. 

“What?” Me and Minseok choruses.  

Jongdae turns to us with wide eyes, “I mistakenly sent it to our group chat instead of personal message. Okay, I’m going to put my phone to DND before someone spams me.” 

I roll my eyes once again but can’t fight the smile spreading on my lips, thinking how ridiculous yet fun experience it is to hang out with these guys. While Minseok looks like he’s going to smash his bottle of beer on Jongdae’s head. “Can you stop being so dramatic for once?” 

The night is filled with laughter, beers, and some fun games that, I must admit, are fun. I don’t think I can remember the last time I enjoyed the company of being around other people, or people in general. 

I’m on my third bottle of cold beer, chatting between Jongdae and Minseok, when the bottle in my hand magically disappears. I haven’t had alcohol for quite a long time—no judgment, that I’m already tipsy. I was about to fight anyone just for a bottle of beer but was met with Baekhyun’s eyes. 

“Oh, that was fast!” Jongdae cheers, pertaining to Baekhyun. He claps his hand and pats the space beside him for the guy to sit. 

But instead, Baekhyun motions me to scoot a little so he can squeeze in the space between me and Jongdae. And of course, that receives a grunt from us. 

“What are you doing here?” I ask him in a small voice, though his two friends definitely heard me as they both snicker at the same time. 

Before Baekhyun could answer, Jisoo appears in front of us, holding her own drink and a bit red, probably from drinking too much—she’s not very subtle with her drinking, but I guess everyone needs a little loose from time to time, no one’s judging. 

“Baekhyun! I thought you couldn’t make it!” 

I’m not interested in seeing their interaction as I’m already sulking as it is, so I tried to reach out for my beer that’s still in Baekhyun’s hold, but as soon as my fingertips touch it, he clicks his tongue at me, giving me a warning look. 

Jongdae crosses his legs, leaning on his hands to look at Baekhyun mockingly. “Oh yes, Baekhyun. I thought you said you were too tired and not feeling like it?” 

He really does look tired, and I’m also confused as to why he’s here. But he just kicks Jongdae’s feet and glares at Minseok who frowns because the guy is literally younger than him. “I don’t trust you guys with alcohol.” 

“Pssh!” Jongdae dismisses him by waving a hand on his face. “We both know that’s a lie. You trust us the most.” 

“He’s drunk,” I murmur, which receives a hum of agreement from Baekhyun that makes the hair on the back of my neck rise.  

He turns his head a little to the side to peek over his shoulder. His face is so close to mine that I can feel his breath tickling my lashes. “You?” 

I shake my head a little, my words getting caught in my throat that I have to put an effort to respond to him. “No, not really.” 

Jongdae couldn’t stop his excitement and let out a high pitch laugh that caught the attention of other people around.  

I’m the one who breaks the eye contact, clearing my throat before looking the other way. I see Minseok already giving me a small smile, wiggling his brows. He manages to murmur, “adorable,” before drinking his beer. 

If I heard that a few weeks ago, I’d probably have had the same reaction when Gran said the same thing. But now, I can honestly feel the heat creeping up from my neck to my cheeks. I’ll just use the alcohol as an excuse if someone notices. 

As more empty bottles scattered around the area, few people gathered where we are, and not to mention they decided it was a good idea to put me on the spot to ask questions—thanks to Jongdae who practically announced that I’m a tourist here. 

“So, wait,” A girl named Bomee slurs, tilting her head as she speaks, “your dad threw you out because you drink a lot?” 

I seriously need more alcohol in my system before I can answer her honestly. But Baekhyun here wouldn’t give them back every time I’d get a new one, and he’d give it to Jongdae instead who, I believe, puke couple times already. 

“Sort of?” I answer carefully, shrugging my shoulders. 

“Then why did you keep drinking if your family hates it?” A guy named Jaebom chimes in. And Bomee hisses at him for being so insensitive. Though, I don’t mind because all my mind can process is how they seem to be invested in my story. 

“Well—how do I explain it?” I exhale through my nose, biting my bottom lip, and my leg started to bounce, feeling a bit anxious if I should answer the question.  

But then I feel something on my bare knee since I’m wearing shorts. I shift my focus from Jaebom and glance at my side. It was Baekhyun’s thigh. He keeps his gaze ahead of him but left his thigh on my knee. 

The corner of my mouth lifts for a second before pursing my lips. It’s probably time for me to let this out, as to why I did what’s been done. To what really goes on my mind that no one bothered to ask. 

Until I arrived in this town.  

Until I met these people. 

Until I met this man who oddly calms my storm.  

“I’m not really the favorite child,” I start, giving them a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “The most common misconception is that if you’re the youngest, you get attention, love, everything. But that doesn’t apply to my family. 

“I don’t remember it well, but I had a good relationship with my father until I started school. He immediately saw the difference between me and my older brother. He’s way smarter than I am. He’s polite and I get in trouble from left to right even without trying.  

“My dad started to compare me to my brother as we grew up, and I believe that’s the main reason why I developed resentment towards my brother. My mother... she doesn’t care, she never did. She’s always been busy with her charity events that would make her look good to the public, and of course, her friends. 

“However, despite their busy schedules, they’d clear everything to attend my brother’s graduation, school events and such. But they’ve never been on mine. That’s probably the reason why something in me snapped when I was in high school.  

“I was in the wrong circle. I got in trouble for drinking and smoking. It wasn’t my attention, but for the first time, my parents went to my school, although for a reason that’s nothing to be proud of. I misunderstood the rebellion just to get their attention. 

“But now I’m in my last year for my undergrad, it just became an escape. I no longer care for my parents’ attention, but I became dependent on alcohol to sleep, and cigarettes to calm down. And to be honest, I’m scared to get checked—because what if something’s wrong with me? Who’ll take care of me? I can barely hold my shit together. Or will it worsen my situation in our house? As they’ve already seen me as a burdensome. 

“So, yeah. I’m here because I don’t have anywhere else to go. I bought a train ticket without knowing anything about the destination. Don't get me wrong, your town is freakin’ awesome, exquisite, but I’d sell my soul for a cheeseburger and chicken nuggets right now.” 

I end my speech with a deep, trembling sigh, forcing myself to give them a smile, but it immediately drops when I see most of them tearing up, especially Jongdae who’s already hammered. 

“Hey—what the heck, you guys.” I chuckle awkwardly, sitting up straight to look at them one by one. Jisoo even had to excuse herself as she cries, while Jaebeom looks at me apologetically, “I’m sorry. I—I shouldn’t have had ask you that...” 

“No, no!” I walk over to them, feeling guilty for ruining the mood. I try to calm them down, but Jongdae, being dramatic as he is, starts to sob, talking to himself as he thanks his parents for loving him despite being such a headache. 

Minseok looks at me fondly, though there’s a hint of pity and sadness in his eyes. “This is such a good reminder to be kind. We don’t know who’s struggling silently, and what we can only do is to be kind.” 

I smile at what he said, nodding my head in agreement. “Be kind.” 

Baekhyun finally gives up around two in the morning. I’m about to bid him good night but then he waits for me to get on my feet. “What—why?” I whine, not wanting to leave as I’m honestly having fun joking around with his friends and others. 

Baekhyun sighs my name, dropping his shoulders. “Please? No one here will drive you home; everyone has alcohol in their system—no, Jongdae, you’re too drunk to drive, just sleep here.” 

I groan loudly, giving him a glare. Nonetheless, I wave goodbye to everyone, promising that I’ll see them again soon.  

I sit on Baekhyun’s truck, rolling down the windows so the chilly night breeze will hit my face soothingly.  

“You okay?” 

I can only grunt in response, resting the side of my head on the window frame. 

“Sure? Or you’re too drunk to tell?” 

“Baekhyun—” I close my eyes before pursing my lips. “I only had two bottles because you won’t let have any as soon as you arrived. If I was drunk by two bottles, I’m sober enough by the window time you kept snatching all bottles in my hand.” 

He looks taken aback by my sudden outburst, and I do admit that I feel a little guilty about it. “H-hey, I’m sorry. I can make a U turn if you want to go back—sorry...” 

I gnaw my bottom lip, wanting to slap myself for overreacting to something not big of a deal. “No, it’s fine. Just keep driving.” 

He keeps driving alright. I’m in daze when I realize that it’s not the way back to Gran’s house, and we’ve been on the road for almost an hour—and that’s without traffic!  

From trees and the shallow sound of waves crashing to the shore, my eyes meet with bright lights and buildings—though nothing compared to the big city, but my heart couldn’t stop fluttering seeing such familiar sight. 

“Baekhyun, where—” 

“You said you wanted cheeseburger,” he simply said, not even letting me finish my question. “And this is the nearest one from the town.” 

And boy, did I wish to still use the alcohol as an excuse when he saw how red my face is, but then I remember how I mentioned that I sobered enough. Dumb. 

Fortunately, he doesn’t say anything. Just a subtle smirk on his face, and he shakes his head a little. 

Two cheeseburgers, ten pieces chicken nuggets, two large drinks and fries to share, we are seated on the back of his truck with the tailgates opened, in an empty parking under a starry night sky. 

“Wait—so, you’re telling me you attended an Ivy League in the city?” I ask him with wide eyes, unable to believe the information I heard about him. We are talking about life and stuff, and I finally convinced him to tell something he hasn’t told me before. 

Baekhyun casually takes a huge bite of his burger before nodding his head. He looks up to the sky for a few seconds before meeting my curious eyes. “Yeah... got a scholarship and stayed there for two years.” 

“Holy crap, so you’re really smart! Damn, I could barely pass a minor subject. What the heck, Baekhyun? Why did you stop?” 

He chuckles, flicking the tip of my nose with his finger. “Slow down, woman. You sound too excited.” 

“Of course, I am!” I huff, reminiscing about the time when I dreamt of attending an Ivy League, but my GPA didn’t cooperate. 

Baekhyun gives me a soft smile, eyes dancing around my facial features. “Is it the lighting here or you’re extra pretty today?” 

I must admit that it did make my heart go crazy, and the butterflies in my stomach dance, or whatever crap people call it. 

And it didn’t help when he chuckles huskily upon seeing my reaction. “I didn’t like it. It was the first time I had been away from my family for that long, and people were so different. Life was too busy, and the pressure of a job title right after graduation was insanely unrealistic.” 

I nod my head in agreement, totally understanding his sentiments, especially now I’ve lived in his town for a month. I saw, experienced, lived the life they have. Quiet, simple, and peaceful. 

Contentment.  

Contentment is the city will never have. 

“I was studying Psychology, and I was really interested in the subject. It was the environment I couldn’t keep up,” he continues, “now I’m twenty-four years old, living in his parents’ walkout basement.” 

“And you’re happy,” I smile at him, and it makes him stare at me, unblinking, he then mirrors my smile, though his was wider and the corner of his eyes crinkle. 

“That, I am.” he grins widely, and it makes my heart flutter seeing him like this. “I’m delighted you used and instead of but.” 

“Oh, of course,” I shrug, smiling more widely than I already am. I honestly didn’t think about that—it just came out naturally. “But hey, can I ask you something personal? And it’s totally fine if you don’t feel like telling me.” 

Baekhyun nods his head, turning his body to face me, his legs touching my outstretch limbs.  

“Why did you hate me so much the first time we met?”  

That seems to catch him off guard. He pulls his head back before pursing his lips. “Y-you sure Gran didn’t tell you? Or you just want me to put on spot?” 

I look at him weirdly before shaking my head. “No, I’m genuinely curious. You went apeshit when you barely know me. You were an ass—sorry. Anyway, Gran only told me it’s about something businessmen wanting to take the town.” 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, exhaling heavily. He takes the last bite of his food and crumples the wrapper before putting it aside. “Okay—it’s no secret in the town that Gran’s eldest son is a very successful businessman.” 

I gape at him, eyes getting wide. “I didn’t know that!” 

“Well, you’re not exactly from the town and—” he only stops talking when I glare at him. “Moving on, when I was still in the city, I met a girl—why are you looking at me like that?” 

I didn’t even realize I’m frowning until Baekhyun pointed it out. I instantly wipe my annoyed expression that automatically came out when he mentioned a girl. Since when did I become possessive? We’re not even together romantically. “What look?” 

Baekhyun looks at me skeptically, though he’s unable to hide that little smirk on his face that I’ve been wanting to slap off. 

“I met this girl—we’re not together anymore so calm down—” 

“I wasn’t even asking—” 

“You want me to continue or not?” he raises a brow in my direction, and I sigh in defeat.  

“Sorry—continue.” 

“So... I took her to the town to tour around, and of course, to meet my family. I thought it went well because you know, it’s normal for people to take pictures and document everything. However, I never thought that it would take a drastic turn when her short clips posted on the internet became viral and several investors immediately came to examine the area. And surprise, surprise! Gran’s eldest was one of them.” 

I’m listening to his every word carefully and when he mentioned how the town became viral, it came crashing to me as why it sounded familiar back in the train station at the city. I now remember passing by a short clip a couple years ago. 

“Gran’s sons are sort of estrange to her and her late husband. So, when he found out that his mother lives here, he thought he had better chance than other men in suit.” 

I nod my head, slowly absorbing much information in the middle of the night. “And I’m guessing Gran hated the idea?” 

“Hates it. She got angry at her son who didn’t contact them for years, and had the audacity to ask them to convince the people in town to sell their land to him. But more importantly, she cares for everyone in town. What will happen to locals if hotels and resorts are all around?” 

I did hear from Gran about what happened with her husband about a year ago, and now I’m connecting dots. “Poor Gran...” 

Baekhyun sighs, looking up in the sky. “Yeah... Gran and Pop-pop were everyone’s favorite grandparents in town. When Pop-pop passed, it took a toll on all of us. You met the youngest, Han, and he’s not really someone you can rely on, even when it comes to his parents. So, we promised Pop-pop that we’d take care of Gran then the next day, he’s gone.” 

My mouth curves down and I look at him with sadness in my eyes. I just can’t imagine what they’ve been through. “I’m so sorry...” 

But Baekhyun smiles at me, patting my cheek as an assurance. “It’s okay. And I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize as well. You didn’t deserve that. I was an ass, damn right.” 

“Well, forgiven since you bought me cheeseburger and chicken nuggets.” I giggle, raising the wrapped greasy burger in my hand.  

Baekhyun laughs as well before straightening his back. “And for your information, this is all me. I’m doing no favor to anyone.” he bumps his shoulder with mine and I bend my neck a little to meet his eyes.  

“What...?” I raise an eyebrow to him. 

He clears his throat before speaking, “Should we now talk about us?” 

Taking a bite in the middle of this kind of conversation is not really ideal. But in my defense, I didn’t know he was going to say that. My cheek protruded with the burger still in my mouth while I look at his eyes, unsure where this conversation would take us. 

“W-what about us?” 

His expression hardens, but it quickly vanished when he realizes I’m quite lost with what he’s going to say. “Gran’s animals will be overweight the next time you avoided me when I come over.” 

“Oh.” was all I could say. I drop my shoulders and sniff, looking ahead of me. “Don’t worry about it. There are times I could get extra sensitive—I’ll get over it.” 

“No, baby, I—” he lets out a deep trembling breath, sighing my name afterwards. “Sorry, that just came out.” 

I can’t do anything but to smile awkwardly, mumbling an, “It’s okay.” Because no one has ever called me that kind of endearment without intimate intercourse before. 

It’s weird... yet nice. 

“Okay. I—Gran stopped forcing me to help you when you bit my ear. She thought that it might get us both on each other’s bad side further. She made me apologize but that’s it. Hasn’t ask anything since then.” Baekhyun huffs out, asking me to look at him, and I did. “I just see you in a different light now. I don’t know when it started. Maybe when you started making jokes about your stupidity with riding a bicycle—or when I finally had the chance to get to know you better on Gran’s roof—minus the smoking.” 

I was about to hit him with my fist, but I’m so glad I didn’t, and chose to let him finish what he’s about to say. 

“What I’m saying is... you make me shy, edgy—those stuffs, and I’d blabber the idiotic thing I could think of. I’m sorry.” 

“I—uh...” there’s a lump in my throat that’s hindering me from responding to what he just said. Though, really, I’m just out of words. “Okay...” 

“Really—that’s it? Okay?” his face went blank, eyes getting droopy as ever. 

“What do you want me to say?” I counter, my voice gets higher. “I thought you like Jisoo. So, you know? I didn’t think about it that much.” Lies. But who’s letting him know? Obviously not me. 

“I didn’t say I like her—” 

“You were ogling at her, Baekhyun!” 

“I’m aware it was inappropriate, but she was wearing a low-cut shirt and flashing her cleavage on my face, okay? I’m sorry if you misunderstood it.” 

“Mind you, I offered to show you my boobs in exchange for some bike lessons and maintenance, but you were too prim back then.” I argue, crossing my arms across my chest, purposely lifting them up to be visibly in better shape. “But I guess Jisoo’s cleavage makes you shy and edgy.” 

“You—” Baekhyun groans, rubbing his face tiredly. “You’re so stubborn, aren’t you?” 

I shrug my shoulder, taking a bite of my burger... angrily. “I’ve been told. But thanks for the reminder.” 

Neither of us said a word for quite some time. We are just seated next to each other at the back of his truck while I finish the food because apparently, I’m too stubborn. What he didn’t know is that I can be stubborn and hungry. 

In all honesty, I do like Baekhyun. He makes me feel something I’ve never felt before. He makes everything around me brighter. He makes me see colors. He makes me realize that life can be beautiful. 

Especially now he admits that he initiated everything he has done for me without Gran’s presence. And it’s a lot to take... though in a nice way.  

However, I’m not going to deny the fact that I’m quite hesitant since I still have to go back home. I still have a year left in university. And I don’t know my career from there. I’m not even sure if my dad will take me in to work in his company, nonetheless, dropping out just like that is not part of my initial plan. 

If we ever, stating out a huge possibility, got together, in just a few weeks, we’d cater to a long-distance relationship that rarely works for other people. What are the odds it’d work for me... for us? 

And I believe coming out clean about the uncertainty must be verbalized to Baekhyun to be fair. 

“I still have a year left in university, Baekhyun,” I murmur, glancing at him at the corner of my eye and see that he’s looking at me intently. “I need to go back to the city before semester starts.” 

I see the small frown between his eyebrows as he absorbs my intention. “That’s it?” 

Now, it’s my turn to narrow my eyes to him, clenching my jaw as I face him properly. “What do you mean by that’s it? I’m not dropping out—” 

“Who said about dropping out?!” he cut me off, his voice got way out of control and can be considered as yell. He notices how I jolt on my seat, leaning my body away from his. He exhales through his mouth, calming himself before speaking again. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to shout. But can you hear me for a second? Because it looks like I’m the only one who’s willing to make us work.” 

I open my mouth to counter his words, but nothing comes out, coming to a realization that he’s right. I roll my eyes at him just to show him I’m not mad or something. I grumble, “Fine.” 

He smiles at me fondly, scooting closer to me. He snatches the food wrapper on my lap, putting it aside, before grabbing my hands. And I swear to God, my heart almost couldn’t take when he places his puckered lips to my knuckles, kissing them lightly repeatedly. 

This man really knows how to sweep me off my feet. 

“I like you, a lot.” he admits, smiling sheepishly and I don’t miss the shade of red on his cheeks. “It’s embarrassing how much I think of you in a day. I thought I was just worried about you because you’re not from around here. But then I started looking for you even if we were in the same room. You listen to my stories without judgement, you laugh at my jokes even when I know they’re not funny—I don’t know. It’s just... I like you, and it’s too early to say if it’s love and I don’t want to scare you, but I just want you to know, I’m willing to get there.” 

I didn’t know I was holding my breath until Baekhyun calls my name. I blink several times to snap out of it. “B-Baekhyun, I—” I swallow the lump in my throat when my voice cracks. 

“Before you say no,” he cuts me off again, smiling kindly. “I just want to let you know that I will never cheat on you even where you’re in the city and I’m here. I will make sure to give you peace of mind every day.” 

I look at him longingly, gnawing my bottom lip with my teeth. Unable to find the right word to say, or more likely, unable to come up with a decision to my dilemma. “That’s a huge thing to say, Baekhyun...” 

He sighs in relief when I finally said something, although it’s not a yes, but he just looks glad it was not a no. He grins widely, interlacing our fingers together and placing them on his lap. “It is. But that’s to prove my conclusion on how much I like you. I’m surprise as you are.” 

I finally let out a chuckle, hitting his chest with my fist, though with not much of force but he still grunts. “Anything else I should expect from you?” 

Baekhyun looks like he’s going to cry in relief when I said that, and I feel bad for acting so distant that it stresses him this much. He closes his eyes for a few seconds with a wide smile on his mouth before responding to my question. “Hmm... let me see. Well, I’m quite good in bed.” 

I know he meant it as a joke since that’s just how we always communicate, but he looks so surprised when I agreed in a heartbeat. “Okay, I’m sold.” 

“Wait—seriously?” 

I nod my head, grinning innocently at him, or at least I’m hoping it to be. “What can I say? I have needs.” 

“No, baby—” I thought he’s going to take back the endearment, but the butterflies in my stomach flutters when he doesn’t. “I mean—okay, that’s good to know, I’ll make sure to take care of you. But are you serious—you’re not playin’ with me? You’re saying yes?” 

“Yes, Baekhyun,” I thought my smile couldn’t get any wider, but it does. “I like you—though, I can’t say if I like you a lot as well, but—” 

He had to give me a death stare to make me shut up. I giggle, getting the courage to throw my arms around his neck, giving his cheek a smooch. “I like you a lot, Baekhyun.” 

When I pull my head back, still in his arms, we are inches apart, staring at each other’s eyes then to our lips. I can’t help but sigh when our mouths finally meet. I climb to his lap, hands on his shoulders, while he holds my waist.  

His lips are soft and warm. Like a hot towel after a shower during winter. Comforting. It almost tastes like hot cocoa on Christmas evening. Sweet and satisfying. 

We had to cut everything and pull away from each other when I felt something beneath me. Baekhyun looks embarrassed and uses my tongue as an excuse for his hard on. I laugh at him, getting off his lap but not before giving his mouth another kiss. 

He looks beyond surprised, yet excited, when I ask during our drive back, “Hey, can I stay over?” 

It’s my first time seeing where he stays. Since it’s a walkout basement, it has its own entrance a few steps down from the main ground. 

It’s tidy, except for the unfolded clothes on the armchair at the corner, and he has a typical twin-sized bed, and a few clutters on the wall shelves on the other side of the room. 

He asks for two minutes while he cleans up, though what he’s done is to just hide the clothes in his closet and smoothen out the bed sheet. 

Somewhere along my pun, “Are we going to fit in there?” referring to his bed while laughing makes me hot in an instant when he said, “I can top so it’d be fine.” 

I try to laugh it off, sitting at the edge of the mattress. “I only meant to sleep here, but you seems to have another idea in your head. I’m not sure if I like it.” 

With what he said a while ago, he has the audacity to blush, stammering with his words, “H-hey! You’re the one who shoved your tongue in my mouth. I thought—” 

I’m wheezing from laughing too much, holding my stomach as it starts hurting. I cough and catch my breath when I glance at his pouty face, watching me make fun of his conundrum. 

“I’m just kidding, come here,” I extend my arm, reaching out to him before flopping on the mattress. 

Baekhyun makes me feel loved, special, and cherish me as a woman as he kisses my body while peeling my clothes off my body. He never forgets my emotions while getting into his desires. 

I appreciate his time to set the mood by touching me like I want him to, tasting parts of me like a starving man. Then asking for consent before proceeding to enter once he secured protection. 

No one had bothered to ask me on my previous experiences. 

That night, I can consider it as my first time making love. 

My first time feeling loved. 

He kisses my mouth when he comes, then makes sure I’d reach my peak afterwards. I can’t remember the last time I felt sexually satisfied, but I definitely won’t forget this one. 

Our foreheads lean on each other as we bask in our warmth and presence. We kiss each other’s mouth, nose and cheeks, giggling with each peck. And my eyes close blissfully when Baekhyun bends his neck to kiss my forehead, leaving his lips there for a few seconds before sighing.  

I can feel his heartbeat on my chest when he does that. Whatever I’m feeling, he’s feeling it too. 

Baekhyun’s right. It’s too early to say it’s love, but same as him, I’m willing to get there. 

That night was the first of so many nights we’d spend together. 

No one can beat Gran’s reaction when she found out that me and Baekhyun are together-together. She said that she didn’t expect it since she saw how we fought, bicker, and threw nasty words at each other that it gotten to a point where it got physical—my fault, sorry. 

She gushed until the word came to almost everyone in town. I’m no longer Gran’s visitor as they once called me. I’m now Baekhyun’s girl. 

Baekhyun is probably the sweetest, at the same time, manliest man I’ve ever met. Okay, I’m exaggerating but I’m so proud to call him my boyfriend.  

It’s no news that I could say that I grew up without a man figure in my life even though I still have a dad, and I’m not really close with my older brother. And I’ve dated quite a few back in the city. 

But with Baekhyun... damn it’s different. It’s good different. 

Back in the city, it was only sex, alcohol, look cool together, sex, move on to different person, and repeat. 

I mentioned to him that he’s like my first real relationship, and it boosted his ego. I have no problem with it since Baekhyun might know how to piss me off, but he’s never crossed the line, and I can’t see him doing it.  

That’s the thing about him. He’s too respectful. At first, I was skeptical, thinking that he’d done something, and was just acting like that to prepare me for the worst. “Of course, I ought to treat you right. We’re together, aren’t we?” 

It’s shameful to say out loud, but I gave him head that night. 

Also, Baekhyun didn’t wait a week, or even a day, for me to meet his parents. It was awkward since we fell asleep the first night we got together in the basement and were awoken by his mother knocking on his door. I suggested waiting it out and I’d hide under his bed or closet, but he brushed me off, asking me to wear one of his oversized T-shirts before opening the door. 

His mom was cool about it, in fact, she even asked us to go upstairs to the main floor to have breakfast. There, I met his dad, who looked so happy his youngest son got laid. No word was spoken to say what happened; it was just that obvious, even Baekhyun’s older brother kept wiggling his eyebrows to us. 

Oh, of course, sex is great. He really proves he’s good in bed. The only struggle we had in the first week was with where to do it without any hindrance. Because apparently, “Baby, you’re adorable, but please—you’re such giggler.” 

I didn’t even get mad at him when he said that. Instead, I laughed even more, and he had to put his mouth on mine since we were at his place and his family was right above us.  

Since I’m quite ticklish, I had to learn to control my reaction when he’d run his hands on my bare body. That happened when he sneaked on Gran’s window on the second floor where I’m staying. I was about to sleep but felt the air mattress dipping beside me then an arm wrapped around my waist.  

Gran is a light sleeper, so I had to bite my lip and swallow the noise down my throat. Imagine the person who’s taking care of you inside their house caught you having sex in the mattress you both struggle to inflate. 

That'd be embarrassing. 

But most of all, my favorite moments with Baekhyun are when we’d just lie on bed, or his favorite hangout spot where the golden sunrise view is always spectacular. We’d be in each other’s arms, appreciating the comforting silence. 

In our clothes, yet intimate. 

Though, I’m not discrediting him for his ideas of dates. I’ve never been to sweet ones, so he makes sure he’d put his best effort, like picnics, walking on the shore with shoes in our hands while the sun sets in such beautiful collusion of red and yellow colors. Or if he doesn’t have work, we’d hang out on Gran’s roof to stargaze.  

We still bickered, yes, but it was nothing serious. Mostly, just to make fun of each other until one gets pouty and sulky. But that’s mostly me because I do like his affection when I’m pouty and sulky. 

Baekhyun is becoming my favorite person, and I’m not complaining even a bit. 

And not to forget there’s the simple, domestic kind. You know, just hanging out at each other’s place. Doing things normal people do. 

Mind you, I haven’t done the dishes, laundry nor folded clothes—or any house chore, in my entire life. That was until I arrived here. I must help Gran at her house because that’s the least I could do for someone who put roof under my head and food in my tummy. 

She did have a hard time teaching me basic things but there was nothing that could stop me from learning. Even if it means cuts, burns, and even bruises. Those were just small boo-boos and they healed in a few days. Now I have started enjoying doing the laundry or folding clothes with Gran’s old music playing in the background. 

Hence, when Baekhyun dropped by one late afternoon to inform me that he had work in the nearby town and wouldn’t be home until the morning, I decided to pay his place a visit.  

Right after dinner, I told Gran that I’d stay the night at Baekhyun’s, and she looked confused since she knew that he was out of town but let me go anyway. 

It was not the first time I’d be staying at his place even when he was not around. This usually occurs when he’d be working in the dock, and I’d wait for him in his basement. I already know where the spare key is, and let myself in. 

As expected, a pile of clothes was still sitting on the armchair in the corner of his room. He may be tidy in other things, but not when it came to the business after washing machine. I tied my hair in a ponytail and got to work.  

His mom even came down to check since she heard noises and thought it was someone else. She offered to help but I assured her I’d be fine. She looked at me fondly, telling me that I could go upstairs should I need anything. 

His clothes neatly folded in his closet, his bed sheet was nice and clean, and his floor was vacuumed and mopped. And I was spent. 

I never expected anything from him in return every time I’d do these kinds of things, but he just does.  

Sometimes it was a bouquet of flowers, or sometimes he’d take me out of town to eat the food I was craving. But my preferred is his simple kiss on a cheek and a, “Thank you, baby.” 

Orrr... occasionally, I’d prefer a kiss while sleeping in his bed as soon as he got back and cuddling through the morning. 

Baekhyun does the same. When he’s not working, he’d help me at Gran’s place. From simple chores to heavy ones. 

Just like today. It's Sunday and I told Gran that I will stay to help her clean the house. I still haven’t turned on my phone, so it feels almost magical when Baekhyun appears out of nowhere. Most especially now that the roof needs to be cleaned. 

The day was almost perfect until Han suddenly came in from the back door in the kitchen. I roll my eyes at him, and he gives me the same sass.  

When he found out I’ve been staying as a guest at his mother’s, he got agitated since Gran doesn’t even give him a room to stay, but she’s giving one to a stranger. Although Gran still feeds him when he’s around. A mother will always be a mother. Can’t relate, to be honest. 

I’m dusting the living room when Han decided that it was a good idea to rant to his mother. Well, I heard about how hates his older brother, yet wants to experience the kind of wealth the brother has. Gran doesn’t look bothered, nor pleased with the subject, but I don’t want to butt in especially it’s family affair. 

I go upstairs instead to let me ear rest for a while before I have to hear Han’s voice again. Walking inside the room I’m staying in, I peek out the window to see Baekhyun on a ladder leaning against the side of the house as he scoops leaves out of the roof gutter. 

“Hey there, baby boy,” I lean my arms on the windowsill and give him a playful suggestive look because I know how annoyed he gets with the pet name. 

He groans loudly and I can’t help but to laugh, “Stop with that weird crap, please!” 

“What do you want me to call you then? Daddy?” I raise a brow at him before squinting my eyes to annoy him even more. Kidding aside, I just got goosebumps upon saying that word. No, nuh uh. Will never ever repeat that, ever, again. 

“Ugh! Baby—” 

“Mom! They’re not cleaning, they’re just flirtin’!”  

I jump on my feet when Han’s loud voice and when I look over my shoulder, he’s standing there with a bowl of cereal that I bought with my own money.  

In the background, we heard Gran yelling, “Leave them alone!” 

I raise a brow to Han to piss him off and he threatens to hit me with a spoon. Baekhyun’s voice can be heard from outside the window while he scoops leaves out of the roof gutter. “Han, please don’t do that to my girlfriend.” 

I plastered a smug face to Han because, even though he’s almost double the size of Baekhyun, the latter is surprisingly an expert in some kind of martial arts that instantly flew over my head the second I heard it. Was it wushu? Taekwondo? Karate? I don’t know... oh! Hapkido! I honestly don’t know anything about it, but—yey! Supportive girlfriend here. 

Han scoffs before rolling his eyes. He then points the spoon to the boxes in the corner before walking out of the room, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just clean this up.” 

I truly want to say something back to him, but Baekhyun calls my name to calm me down, because he knows how much I get triggered when Han does this kind of shit. “Just leave the boxes there, baby. I’ll carry them down once I’m done here.” 

“What am I going to do then?”  

“Just stand there and look pretty for me,” he grins widely, the corner of his eyes crinkling in the process. Although I roll my eyes at him, I can’t hide the small smile on my lips that’s slowly spreading.  

I ignore him and walk towards the boxes that have been left untouched, thus dusty, since I got here. Baekhyun once told me that Gran and her husband moved here more than a decade ago from their hometown to live a quiet life. But being the good parents they were, they still brought their sons’ pictures and memorabilia of them. 

By the third box, I hold my breath since the surface is very dusty and I’ve been sneezing like crazy. And instead of helping me or anyone in the house, Han just sits in the living room while watching the television with his feet up on the table.  

As I’m about to approach the back door by the kitchen, the bottom of the box gives up and the contents of the box scattered on the floor. Fortunately, I hear no breaking of glass, so I internally sigh in relief before groaning out loud, crouching down to pick them up. 

“Need help back there?” I hear Han ask from the living room. 

“I mean, if you have a kind heart within you, why not?” I respond sarcastically that earns a hearty laugh from him. 

We start picking up the items and they’re mostly framed pictures and a few documents. The last time to be picked up is a picture frame facing the floor. My hand casually reaches out to it and even makes sure that the frame is still intact.  

In a split second, my facial expression drops, and I can feel how my heart starts thumping almost loudly in my chest when I flipped the frame in my hand. 

There is a photo of Gran and her husband with a young man in a graduation gown, seemingly fresh out of university, flashing a wide smile on his face for the camera.  

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Han interrupts my thoughts and I raise my head to look at him with wide eyes. “That’s my hyung. He’s not a ghost yet, but he’s dead to us.” 

I can’t find words to say nor get any of my muscles to move. However, I did feel how my bottom lip trembles uncontrollably, and my breath becomes ragged. With all the energy left in me, I close my eyes and breathe through my nose, holding it for few seconds before exhaling heavily—a technique Baekhyun taught me to calm myself down in case I feel like my thoughts are winning against me. 

“Oy—you okay?” I feel Han’s hand on my shoulder as he tries shaking me a little bit, and I nod my head a little bit. 

I croak, “Y-yeah...” 

Han looks hesitant, grabbing the frame out of my hands and settling it down on the counter, and does what he thinks is the best solution: call for his mother. “No, you’re not—Ma! C’mere! She’s not breathing!” 

Even with my condition, I still found the strength to glare at him as he can definitely see that I’m still breathing, though heavily—almost hyperventilating. 

Baekhyun obviously heard the commotion, and he arrives first, clumsily and almost tripped from how fast he ran. He pushes Han aside and holds my face in his hands. “Hey, baby... breathe, come on. Follow what I’m doing.” he starts breathing in pattern, showing the basic skill to live, slowly, so I’d be able to grasp. 

My mouth starts getting numb and my body gets a bit heavier as well as my eyelid, but my mind is very much conscious that I know how Gran gasps loudly when she gets in the kitchen, seeing me in perhaps limp state.  

“Hey—damn it!” Baekhyun shakes my body as he curses my name, trying to get my eyes open when they’re about to close. “Look at me, come on. Breathe, please—Han, get a paper bag or somethin’!” 

Even with my eyes getting blurry, I’m still able to see Han looking so confused and unmoving on his feet. “H-huh—what for?” 

“Just fuckin’ get it!” Baekhyun yells. And I think it’s the first time I’ve heard him cuss—well... except when we’re in bed, but that’s another story to tell. 

Han hastily looks for one and hands it to Baekhyun. The latter immediately places it around my mouth and instructs me to breathe as he counts the seven second rule. I lift my eyelid to look Baekhyun in the eye as I try to normalize my breathing and he smiles at me when he notices I’m following him, and my muscle slowly relaxing and the tension is slowly fading away. 

My hand finally raises to hold Baekhyun wrist that’s holding a paper bag on my mouth. I pull it away gently and he sighs in relief, pulling me in to kiss my cheek and wrapping his arms around my figure. I whisper an apology right to his ear and he just shakes his head, continuously caressing my back to give me much comfort I need. 

Han also exhales loudly, holding a hand on his chest. “Phew! You scared me back there, kid.” 

Gran also sighs in relief; her eyes are teary, and her hands clasp on her mouth, thanking heaven that I’m fine. 

I send them both an apologetic smile before taking another look at the picture on the counter as I peek over Baekhyun’s broad shoulders. 

He, the man in the picture, might looked younger but I know him very well. Those bright and hopeful eyes in the past have turned into dreadful pairs; the wide smile when he was young was now a scowl; his sun kissed skin had become pale and wrinkly. I’m bewildered that his once seemingly cheerful soul is now lifeless. 

I may add one more reason to probability as why our he prefers Kyungsoo more than me. He really did look like him when he was his age. 

It’s already evening, a few hours after the incident, and we are all seated in the living room. I’m at the end of the couch, coddled up in a blanket and leaning my head on Baekhyun’s shoulder, while Gran and Han sit on the armchair across from us. 

The picture frame now sits on the coffee table in the middle of the living room as I stare at it, while the three of them still have no idea what happened earlier, and what’s going on right now. 

“Dear?” Gran finally breaks the silence. I lift my head from the picture to look at her. She has the gentle smile she always wears, and my heart breaks when I’m starting to absorb all the details, I’ve gotten from the moment I arrived in this town up to now.  

What are the odds of this happening? For real? 

I put my feet down on the floor and raised my head from Baekhyun’s shoulder. I clutch the blanket on my lap so that my fingers start to turn white from how tight it is. 

“Gran,” I had to swallow the lump in my throat so that I wouldn’t cry by uttering only one word. Baekhyun places a hand on my back and that’s more than enough encouragement for me to continue. I point my index finger to the frame on the coffee table, “That—that man is your eldest son?” 

Before Gran can even open her mouth to answer, Han clicks his tongue impatiently, “What’s this all about?” 

I decided to ignore him, focusing on Gran who looks lost for the first time I met her. “Gran...” I bit my bottom lip, fighting back the tears that were threatening to roll down my face. “When you saw me at the train station... did you recognize who I was?” 

That makes Gran narrow her eyes as she recalls the day she approached me. She then shakes her head slowly. “No, dear. Your face was unfamiliar, and you really did look like a tourist as I remember.” 

I nod my head, acknowledging her answer, before stating my full name out loud, making the three of them confused as ever.  I extend my hand to reach out for the picture and shows it to her and Han.  

“And this man,” I sniff, pursing my lips before plastering a half-smile in Gran’s direction, “is my father.” 

The next morning, I’m awoken by the birds chirping outside the window and my head laid on Baekhyun lap while his fingers comb my hair. He’s sitting up on the air mattress and blankly looking ahead of him. 

“Hey,” I call out to him, and he instantly snaps out of his trance. “Did you sleep?” 

“Good morning,” he bends his upper body to give my lips a quick kiss before returning to his previous position. He shrugs his shoulders, chuckling weakly. “I tried but couldn’t.” 

Guilt crashes through me when he said that. Now I doubt any of them fell asleep. But I did. Like a log. Which should be surprising owing to the fact that two months ago, I needed alcohol to fall into slumber. 

Last night, Gran was speechless, and she told everyone to discuss things tomorrow since it had been a long day for all of us. Han was quite useless if you may ask me, though let’s spare him for now as he really looked beyond shock yesterday. 

Baekhyun had to call to say that he wouldn’t make it to work last night and stayed with me. Hence, I sleep like a baby. 

My mind is running thousand kilometers per hour again, and I almost jolted out of bed to look for the family picture taken when I was in middle school that’s been hidden inside my wallet just in case they might think I’m just playing with them. But someone knock on the door and Han’s voice speaks on the other side, “We’ll be downstairs.” 

Baekhyun and I quickly wash up before dragging ourselves back downstairs where we left off last night. However, contrary to my expectation, that Gran would still looks gloomy like last night, she’s back into her cheerful self, setting the table with pancakes, eggs and bacon—wait, is that Han in an apron? 

Gran then holds my hand and makes me sit, and I look at Baekhyun who looks dumbfounded as I am. He shrugs his shoulders before taking the seat right beside me.  

Remembering that I brought with me the photo I’ve been keeping in my wallet, I fish it out from the pocket of the shorts I’m wearing, handing it to Gran who freezes for a second before accepting the photo. 

Gran's eyes become teary as she smiles sadly, placing a hand to cover her mouth before walking towards Han to show him the photo. She walks back to hug my head on her chest, dropping a kiss on my hair. “I only dreamt of meeting my grandchild.” 

Han made fun of me throughout breakfast on how I looked ugly crying, and of course, the braces I had back in middle school. Gran is so happy that she wouldn’t let go of my hand and ask about Kyungsoo whom I was thin thread close on forgetting. 

“He sucks, Gran,” I casually respond, sipping my OJ. “But he’s smart, so you’ll be proud of him, nonetheless.” 

The three of them laugh out loud at what I said, and I can’t stop smiling from how my heart is full by this sight. Gran and Han asked questions about my childhood, but mostly it’s just Gran and Han would just butt in to get on my nerves. He may be my uncle, but it will never erase the bond we created at the first place to piss each other off. 

“Uh-oh,” Han suddenly said, looking at Baekhyun with a mischievous grin on his face. “What are you going to do, Byun?” 

Baekhyun’s expression instantly drops, and his eyes widen in realization that I can’t understand. “Shit.” 

“What?” I ask Baekhyun to look for an answer, but he looks like he’s contemplating his twenty-four years of living. Then I turn to Han when I get nothing from my boyfriend. “What the hell is happening?” 

However, Han just gives me an innocent smile, raising his mug with his pinky lifted in the air.  

“Gran?” I desperately ask the last person who might explain to me what Han meant.  

The poor lady shakes her head at those two men, before turning to me. “Baekhyun here got carried away when your father tried to bribe people to sell their land to him. The two of them may or may have not exchanged nasty words.” 

I gape at Baekhyun who’s ready to apologize but turns baffled when a grin slowly shows on my face. “Oh, shoot! It’s an early karma for my dad! Like, you probably know what’s going to happen and took an early revenge.” 

Baekhyun looks at me like another head grew on my neck, totally taken aback. “What...” 

Han’s laughter booms around the house that I swear the walls shook when he did. “No need for DNA test. You're really your father’s daughter.” 

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” I huff, scowling at him. 

“Byun, just a warning—run while you still can.” 

“HEY!” 

After all the commotion, Gran asks me to go to the living room to discuss something important. She specifically told Han and Baekhyun to leave us alone in the house since we both know the two have them have the tendency to eavesdrop.  

“My dear...” Gran reaches out for my hand, giving it a gentle pat. “I’m so glad you’re here. I still can’t believe the miracle that just happened. Your dad... he—” 

Gran shakes her head before sighing deeply. “You might notice that your Pop-pop and I were not present in your life. Your dad used to be a kind-hearted soul, gentle and loving son to us. But money took those traits of him away. I can count in my hands the time I’ve talked to your father since he moved out. He became estranged and even got married without us knowing. 

“Before you or your brother came, we visited him in the city from our hometown, in hopes that we could at least grab lunch with our son. What we didn’t expect was for him to be embarrassed at the sight of two old people from the countryside. He didn’t shame us publicly, but he did tell us to stop seeing him, especially in his work.” 

A tear escapes my eye before rolling down my cheek when I heard how my dad treated his own parents. I know I’m not close with him myself, but I can’t see myself sending old people who would travel hours just to see me. What the fuck, dad? 

“He did send money through his secretary,” Gran continues, smiling sadly, “saying that it should be enough and there’s no need for us to bother him in person. Your Pop-pop got really angry with your dad and threw his secretary out of the house when he came by to drop a check. 

“That’s why we moved here, to stay away from our eldest son’s radar. Sadly, he didn’t even bother to look for us. And I believe Baekhyun already told you about the story when he found out we live here.” 

Despite my sorrow, I purse my lips and close my eyes, ashamed that we’re caught in act gossiping about other people’s lives.  

Gran chuckles, leaning forward to caress my cheeks. “You have your father’s eyes, my dear. Don’t let the kindness in you be gone, okay? For your Gran?” 

I lean on her palm, smiling widely before nodding my head. “I won’t, I promise.” 

She nods in approval, dropping a quick peck on my forehead. “Now, I know your father threw you out of his house, but he’s still your father, dear. You’ve been away for two months. He’s worried.” 

My shoulders quickly drop, realizing that she’s right, at the same time, I’m scared that they’re not even looking for me, and probably celebrating that the nuisance of the family is out of the house. “I don’t know, Gran...” 

“My dear... your Pop-pop used to cry at night worrying about your dad, if he was eating well, or if he was safe having big names as his competitors.” Gran says, encouraging me to be a bigger person. “I’m not going to stop you if you want to stay here. You’re more than welcome, you know that. But for your beloved Pop-pop's sake, please at least let your dad know where you are and that you’re safe. He might’ve been cruel, but he’s still a father. But I will not deny how disappointed I am about the slap you mentioned. And if he doesn’t want you, as I’ve said, you have me... you have us here. And if you want to finish your studies, I’ll help you.” 

I think about it for a few seconds, coming to realization that Gran’s word makes sense. I let him down and he doesn’t want to see me, he made that clear, it won’t hurt if I let him know that I accidentally travelled five hours away from the city, meeting my paternal grandmother who turns out to be the sweetest and kindest soul that made my inner child feel loved and cared for. 

I know I said before that no matter what happens, I will still finish my undergrad in the city. But do I really want to go back to the city? If you’d ask me two months ago, or even a month ago, I’d answer yes in a heartbeat, but now... I don’t know anymore. 

Gran is here. She’s old, and I truly want to be with her, take care of her. I’m being realistic when I think about the years she only has left. And I want to make up for the years my dad, her son, wasn’t around to be spend time with them. Gran and Pop-pop's children were too busy growing up that they didn’t realize how their parents are growing old too... and now Pop-pop's gone. I want to be there for Gran. 

And Baekhyun. The person who taught me that love can be golden, and not black and white.  

We might have had a bad start, but for the short time we’ve been together, he made me feel something I’ve never felt before. He listens to my thoughts, understands my sentiments, and has never judged my past. He makes sure that I won’t feel alone in this world anymore by his words and actions. “You have me—you will always have me. You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I will always be by your side.” 

When night comes, I’m left alone in the room I’ve been using for a little over two months now. I finally have my phone that’s been left untouched since then. The charger is plugged as I gather courage before holding the power button. 

When the familiar logo on the screen lights up, my heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest, and when I confirm my pin on the lock screen, my hands start to get clammy. I set the phone down and watch the number of messages coming in as minutes go by. 

Some of them are from my former friends in university that I don’t bother to read the preview and scroll down further on my inbox. Most of the messages are from Kyungsoo, asking my whereabouts, spamming me with concern questions, frantically searching for me since none of his friends or my so-called friends don’t have any idea nor have seen me since I left home. He mentioned in his messages repeatedly: Where are you? / Do you need money? / I’ll send you money if you need it. / Mom and dad are worried sick. / Call me, please. 

But a particular message makes me cry in an instant as soon as I see whom it was from.  

I hope you’re safe and eating well. Dad | Received 11:07 PM 

I’m sorry. Please come home. Dad | Received 5:06 AM 

Gran is right. No matter what, he’s still a father. My thumb hovers the call icon on the upper right corner of the screen, closing my eyes and swiping left instead, making the screen go back to list of messages and tap the one with my brother’s name on it. 

It rings three times before I heard his voice on the other line. “What the fu—where are you? Please tell me you’re still alive.” 

“You’re smart and dumb at the same time. How can I make a call if I’m dead?” I chuckle, though shakily as I couldn’t stop sobbing after hearing Kyungsoo’s voice for a long time. “I—I’m okay... I’m sorry for making you all worry.” 

“Are you still in the country?” 

I nod my head then remember that he can’t see me. “I am.” And I had to stop myself from saying: I only had a hundred bucks when dad threw me out. What country can I afford? Republic of Poverty? Thank goodness I realize that it’s inappropriate to get sassy with him at this moment. 

I heard rustling of sheets from his line and I’m guessing he’s getting out of bed. “Where are you? I’ll come get you.” 

“I—” I can’t stop choking a sob, leaning the side of my head on my palm as I cry. “I don’t want to go back, Kyungsoo.” 

“Huh—what?! Wait, let me get dad and mom.” Then followed loud steps he takes as he strides to where our parents are. There was a commotion on their side, and I heard my mom shrieking, “Oh, my God!” 

“Sweetheart?” It’s my dad’s voice, and I haven’t heard him call me any endearment since elementary. “A-are you okay? Please tell me you’re somewhere safe...” 

I snivel, wiping my tear-soaked face with the hem of my shirt. “I’m okay... I’m okay—I’m sorry, dad. I’m so sorry.” 

“Hey—shh... it’s okay.” My dad hushes on the other line, and my mom’s crying can be heard in the background as well, chanting a very soft, “Where is she? Where’s my baby?” 

“Tell me where you are, sweetheart. I’ll come get you.” And I heard Kyungsoo saying that he’ll come too. “We’ll come get you. We’ll be okay.” 

“I—” I take a deep trembling breath before continuing, reminding myself what Gran told me. “I’m here at Gran’s.” 

There’s a pause on the line before my dad asks, “Where?” 

“I’m here at your mother’s, dad. Gran. She’s been taking care of me for the past two months. It’s a long story, but we just found out recently that we’re related.” 

“You—you’re at my mother’s place?” 

“Yes,” I answer firmly, deciding to let him know about my plan. “And I want to stay here with her.” 

This time, it took him almost a minute to answer. I’m biting my nails in anticipation about what he’s going to say, however, all I know is my decision is final. 

“Go get some sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.” 

The next morning, when my dad said we’d talk, I thought that another call would come in, or I would have to call them back. However, when Han came knocking at Gran’s front door during breakfast to inform us that he’s here along with my mom and Kyungsoo, I wanted to hide somewhere, realizing that I’m not ready to see them as I was expecting myself to be. 

I’m engulfed in a hug by my mom as soon as she comes in the door, and my dad following behind her. He looks like he’s fighting back tears, pursing his lips while he raises his hand to pat my head.  

However, his demeanor fails him when Gran walking in the entrance of her house, smiling sadly at his son, my dad, who instantly breaks in tears before walking towards his mother for a hug. I lost count of how many times he apologized to Gran, and when he pulls away, he says, “Thank you for taking care of my daughter.” 

Having no physical affection for my brother growing up, I stand in front of him awkwardly with a twisted face. “Do we need to hug as well?” 

Kyungsoo scoffs, shaking his head with the corner of his mouth curve up in a small smile. “You fucking moron—” he pulls me to him, wrapping his arm tightly around my body. “I was so worried about you. I’m so sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have said those words when I didn’t mean it.” 

I return his hug, burying my face on his shoulder as I cry. “I’m sorry too. And thank you for offering to send me money, I really appreciate it.” 

He laughs out loud as he pulls away, giving the side of my head a playful smack. “From all of the things I texted you, that was the only thing you remember.” 

I grin widely, “Of course.” 

There was a long catch up with the family, more specifically Gran and his two sons. My dad and Han finally sat down and talked by themselves in the living room, while my mom and Gran chatted in the living room. 

I brought Kyungsoo to the barn behind the house, letting him meet my fellas for the past two months and I can’t help but smile that he is enjoying feeding them. Never in my life had I imagined I’d see my brother carrying a bucket of chicken feed while throwing them on the ground with his bare hand. 

I was smiling while I watch Kyungsoo do the things he’s unfamiliar with when I’m suddenly lifted from the ground and spined twice. The strong grip around my waist is too familiar for me not to know who it is, and to think that there’s only one person who’s been doing this to me. 

“Good morning, baby,” before I can even react, Baekhyun places his mouth on mine for a chaste kiss. And if it isn’t for the burning gaze at the back of my head, I’ll return his kiss with the same fondness.  

And I guess Baekhyun realizes that because he pulls away with a scowl. I raise my brows to him, silently telling him about Kyungsoo behind me. Fortunately, he got the message, and his eyes followed where I’m referring to.  

“Oh, hi there,” Baekhyun casually greets Kyungsoo with a nod of his head. He then turns to me, “Gran’s guest?” 

“Uh...” I peek over my shoulder just to see Kyungsoo’s squinting his eyes on me. He knew what I’ve been doing in the city, and words won’t be enough to explain how much he hates it and rats on me every single time. Though, I’m praying that he’s not seeing Baekhyun in a different light and thinks that he’s a one-time thing while I’m here in this town.  

Then I turn to Baekhyun with an awkward smile, “Yes...? Some sort, but he’s also my older brother.” 

I watch how my boyfriend’s face turns into horror, facing Kyungsoo with wide eyes. I haven’t told him about the phone call since he had work last night and stayed the night at their house since his mom needed him for something. 

“My parents are also inside the house—but hey!” I try to break the tension with a laugh, clapping my hands in the process, “I’d like you to meet Kyungsoo, he’s my older brother. Kyungsoo, this is Baekhyun, my boyfriend.” 

Kyungsoo looks at me weirdly, like he’s not expecting me to say the word: boyfriend. And I roll my eyes at him, nudging my brows to Baekhyun’s directly to tell: Yes, he’s my boyfriend. Shake his hand or I’ll break yours. 

Fortunately, they did introduce themselves in a civil manner. Although my worry leaned towards my brother who’s been up my butt since we were kids, however, Baekhyun must really have charm over people, and they look like they are having a decent conversation. 

When my dad and Baekhyun faced each other after their infamous heated argument back then, I thought I was going to pee my pants. Dad didn’t look so happy that I’m dating Baekhyun, but my mom did look surprised yet happy that I settled into a real relationship with someone. She got too excited and babbled, “Are you guys thinking about marriage?” 

And the horror on all our faces, especially my dad who’s about to burst, but I’m grateful he didn’t say any insult to the person I care about romantically.  

Han nudges my dad’s arm with his elbow, and I still can’t believe that the two of them are on talking terms again after the story I’ve heard here and there. “Hey, hyung, I know you don’t trust my judgement, but I can vouch for Byun right here. He’s a good guy and I never see him hurting your daughter. The opposite actually. He’s been taking care of her from morning to night since day one.” 

I send Han a grateful smile, and I glance at Baekhyun to see he’s doing the same. Han may be a jerk at times, likes getting on our nerves, but I’m really, really glad he appreciates and doesn’t turn blind eye at Baekhyun’s effort.  

Gran nods her head in agreement, “Yes, Baekhyun here never left her side even though they didn’t get along at first.” 

I look at Gran with huge eyes, and she smiles at me innocently. She could’ve left the last part out. Seriously. 

“Sir, may I tell you something?” Baekhyun chimes in and all attention turns to him. My leg bounces anxiously while I wait for his next words. “I’m in love with your daughter, and I respect your opinion as her father. But I will still stand with what I’ve said two years ago.” 

Han closes his eyes, palming his face. “You could’ve stopped with you respect him as your girlfriend’s father, you fuckin’ idiot.” 

I peek over my lashes to see Baekhyun’s expression. I’ve never seen him so serious, firm and... he kind of looks hot. What the hell am I thinking?  

But wait! Did he just say he’s in love with me? Wait—what?! My eyes that are ogling at him go wide as saucer and a squeal threatens to escape my throat. 

“You don’t have to worry,” my dad finally speaks, having the same expression as Baekhyun. “I will not go stand between you and my daughter.” 

And I almost laugh out loud when all of us sigh in relief, even Kyungsoo looks like a ton of weights have been lifted off his shoulder. 

“But you, young lady,” he continues, pointing a finger to my direction. “I understand that you found someone here, but is that enough reason you don’t want to go back and finish your degree?” 

“Huh? What—you’re not dropping out!” And now it’s my turn to get the attention. I jut my bottom lip to Baekhyun who looks visibly upset. 

“Okay! Who wants to help me make lunch—I think everyone. Come with me to the kitchen!” Gran cuts the tension between us, and all of them immediately stand up, except for my brother who looks interested in the conversation that’s about to happen. If it’s not for our mom who had to pull him by his arm forcefully. 

Baekhyun opens his mouth, but I stop him before he can say anything. “Okay—first of all, I want to stay here with Gran. I’m not dropping out because of you.” 

He scoffs, running his fingers through his hair. A habit of his when he’s annoyed. “You’re not a good liar, you know?” 

I open and close my mouth several times before settling with a sigh, defeated. “Okay, you’re right. Gran’s part of it though. So, don’t get full of yourself.” 

“Baby—” he groans, ruffling his hair this time, and he sounds so frustrated. “This is such a bad timing to say, but I love you. I really love you, that means I want the best for you.” 

I whimper when I finally hear the three words no one has ever told me. “Baekhyun, I—” I inhaled sharply, “I love you too. And you are part of the reason why I don’t want to leave this town. I now don’t know how not to be with you. Please...” 

He had to close his eyes when look at him with tears running down my face. “Please don’t cry.” 

“You dropped out of college and turns out just fine, why can’t I—” 

“No, I did not turn out just that,” he grits his teeth and realizes how strong his reaction was, so he reaches out for my hands and holds them. “I—I have to juggle several jobs a day to make ends meet. I may be fine with it but for you, my love, I want nothing but the best.” 

“But—” 

“I know you’re capable, I’ve seen you since you arrived here. You’re the one who said before you don’t want to drop out, and I’m asking you to honor your words,” he drops a kiss to my knuckles then on the corner of my mouth. “And I’m not breaking up with you if that’s what you’re assuming. I’ll always be here, I told you that. Just one year. If you still want to be here, then I will not stop you. And if you decide that you’ll stay in the city, and God forbid, with a new hot guy, then I’ll support you.” 

I chuckle at the last part of his sentence, “But you’ll cry if that happens, right?” 

“I’ll cry, drink until I vomit, and ogle at someone’s cleavage.”  

“Hey!” I smack his chest with my fist, and he laughs, pulling me to his chest before wrapping his arms around my body, kissing my temple afterwards.  

“So, one year?” 

I contemplate for almost a minute, before pulling away a little just to look at him in the eyes. “We’ll still see each other, right?” 

Baekhyun nods his head, displaying a gentle smile on his face. “If time permits, I’ll go to you. And if you have nothing going on, you can come here. We can also Facetime every day if you want.” 

I try to say something funny about Facetiming every day but realizing that I won’t be physically with him every day saddens me. Baekhyun’s been my light and I’ll be stepping out to the world again without him this time. It scares me, but for him, I’ll do it. 

I cried until nighttime that day. My family left me alone with him, knowing that we’d be separated in a few days. He held me close and made love until the soft rays of light peeked through the windows. Keeping our mouths on each other while chanting our love to one another. 

“I love you.” We said to each other with a last kiss for a while. 

It’s different now. 

My life has turned a hundred and eighty degrees since I came back to the city. I can’t remember the last time I drank alcohol or the last time I lit up a cigarette. 

I’ve been eating dinner with my parents and brother, telling each other’s day and just catching up, or ranting if someone’s day had been difficult.  

I also got part-time jobs here and there, earning my own money instead of being too reliant on my dad’s credit card. I don’t even use it anymore. I’ve also been hanging out around people who make me a good person and forgetting the people whom I used to know. 

Coming out clean to my family about my struggle with my thoughts, I also started going to therapy and they’re supportive of it... of me.  

And yes, you might wonder where he is. Well, you see— 

I’m just kidding. Baekhyun and I are doing great. He’s been visiting at least twice a month, and I go to visit the town when I have a long weekend. Though our time together is short unlike before, we always make the best out of it. You name it, dates, sleeping in, or you know, it’s me we’re talking about so sex will never leave the conversation when it comes to our relationship. 

Gran also visits, specifically on special occasions and holidays. The three of them travelled to the city for my birthday, and it’s going to be my favorite for a long time.  

When Christmas came, Kyungsoo and I went to visit the town since our parents had made prior arrangements months ago, hence they were unable to cancel. We decorated the Christmas tree and received allowance from Gran and our uncle, Han. 

We’ve come to an agreement that it was the most fun Christmas we had in our entire life. 

Time flies so fast that I didn’t realize graduation was approaching right around the corner. My dad sat me down to discuss my decision and assured me that whatever it might be, he’d support me. 

I told him that it didn’t change. He smiled and told me that he was expecting it. He then proceeded to discuss his plan to help. He said that I could reject his offer, but he’d be happy if I accepted it. 

I immediately got into a call with Gran, telling him about Dad’s plan to invest in Agriculture in the town instead of building hotels and resorts. Gran asked me about my thoughts on it, and I told her that it could help locals get more sources of income, and the focus would be on them. 

Gran sounded so happy and agreed. I didn’t understand why she kept thanking me, but when she said, “You changed everything for the better,” I bawled my eyes out. 

After graduation, I told Baekhyun that I’d be staying in the city for a week to think. You know... because it wouldn’t be me if I’d boringly tell him I’d stay for good in town. 

I almost told him that when he looked visibly sad during our daily Facetime, but I’m glad I held my ground. 

It was only five in the morning when I arrived. I drop my things at Gran’s and hop on my cruise bicycle to his basement, my face getting hit by the once unfamiliar but now loved cold breeze when the sun hasn’t risen yet. 

With the spare key in my pocket that he had given me, I open the door and see his silhouette sleeping soundly in his twin-sized bed. I remove my shoes before closing the door behind me. I slowly walk to the other side of the bed, trying not to wake him up as I lift the blanket and sneak beside him... Baekhyun. 

But my efforts went in vain when he groaned and lifted his head. His eyes look droopy as he stares at me confusedly. “Love?” 

I grin at him, leaning to kiss his lips. “I’m home.” 

The surprised look on his face makes the dimmed basement brighter. He hugs me tightly and kisses parts of my face repeatedly. “Welcome home, my love.” 

Yes, home... 

This is my home now. He is my home. 

And it’s brighter now. 

[sleepymarimo]

𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨!

summary: unbeknownst to you and toji, your clients have ordered hits on one another. pairing: toji x fem!assassin!reader cw: none, mostly some comical fluff an: i think im just gonna expand on this small blurb... and make a mini series. also this is kind of a reupload, my stuff was temporarily hidden by tumblr, so… wc: 1.1k

this assignment was a piece of cake.

sit pretty and let this guy yap, yap, yap... which he was very much happy to do so long as you grazed your fingers over his knuckles or indulged him with a giggle or two.

you had to admit that he had good taste.

the restaurant bloomed with hushed conversations, the popping of champagne bottles and the gentle rattling of cutlery. dim, yellow bulbs provided just the right glow, making for quite the evening.

the sly politician was eager to show off, which was fine. he'd already spilled the information that you needed to know, bragging about his secrets and then some. now all that was left was to, well, end it.

a dull, heavy creaking from the wooden door lets you know that someone else has entered the restaurant.

it's no big deal, or at least you think so until your date suddenly looks pissed off. his eyes narrow, focused on the spectacle behind you.

you take the opportunity to reach into your purse and sprinkle a deadly concoction into his champagne, your job nearly complete.

"sorry." his tone is hardened and irritated. "my ex-wife just walked in."

oh? that’s interesting, since she’d been the one to hire you.

the clacking of heels has you figuring that she’s making her way over, perhaps to bid her husband one last farewell.

she stops just short of the table and you raise your head, preparing a pretend greeting, but instead you find yourself utterly dumbstruck.

you don’t expect her to be hanging off the arm of toji fucking fushiguro.

it's been over a week since you'd seen him last, yet he was as supercilious as ever.

the raven haired assassin does a much better job of keeping his cool, his beryl green eyes desultorily sliding from you to your ‘date’.

your jaw tenses, an action only perceivable to him.

similarly, you’re quick to notice how his eyes, sharp as flints, spark to life as he looks toward the man sitting across from you.

something was up.

ever the sly, sly, dog, he grabs the ex-wife a chair and makes sure she’s settled in. his strong, calculating hands make sure she’s comfortable, running over her shoulders before he takes the seat next to you.

he’s absolutely thriving off of this whole situation.

the couple is quick to bicker, throwing passive aggressive comments and jabs between one another.

it works in your favor though, allowing you just enough time and privacy to acknowledge the man beside you.

opening a menu, you raise it just enough to hide your face.

“what the fuck are you doing here?” your tone is hushed, but the annoyance is more than apparent. there’s a sliver of embarrassment in your pitch too, barely masked by the defensive front you put up.

“job. the guy hired me to shut his ex-wife up.” toji has the brain to follow your lead and pick up his menu, idly looking between you and the overpriced food items. “was gonna take ‘er out after i fucked her, but she said she wanted ta bring me out to dinner, so…”

the audacity of this man…

though you knew very well that he respected no one, not even himself, you had a hard time grappling with his audaciousness.

and another thing… what are the fucking odds that your clients took hits out on each other?

luckily, the couple continues to be too preoccupied with one another to care about the conversation going on between the two of you.

“she hired me!” you quietly hiss, kicking his calf with your heel. there’s a pounding beginning to bloom in the back of your skull, your frustration growing. “i already poisoned his drink!”

your fellow assassin hums, tongue poking out to trace over his scarred lip before focusing his attention on you.

emerald eyes bore into yours, menu long forgotten as he laxly rested his chin in the palm of his hand. his gaze, as always, is intense and cocksure.

it makes your stomach churn uncomfortably, your brows furrowing. “what?”

“poisoned his drink?” he quietly echoes back, snorting lightly as he crosses his arms and settles into his chair. “y’mean the one she’s drinking?”

the air is knocked out of your lungs, what was supposed to be a smooth exhale instead coming out as a wheeze.

your client has nearly drank half of the champagne you’ve poisoned, perhaps in an act of defiance. her ex-husband, pissed off, snatches it out of her hand before gulping the rest for himself.

the dosage was enough to take down a damn elephant.

oh, for fucks sake…

“i'm gonna head to the bathroom.” you’re quick to stand, grabbing your purse and giving toji one last kick that screamed ‘let’s go’.

the sorcerer killer follows your lead, his voice rough like gravel as he comes up with the excuse of needing a quick smoke.

outside, the air is crisp and cold.

you’ve walked a block or two, ignoring the couple of ambulances that speed by you with their lights flashing and sirens blaring.

“i can’t believe you made me kill my client.” you deride, crossing your arms both in protest and as a way to keep warm.

he snickers, running his thumb over the tip of his nose before stuffing his hands in his pockets. “y’killed mine too, sweets.”

ugh, how was he always able to downplay the worst of situations?

the edges your lips tug downwards, your mind fumbling to grasp how this would play out. well, as long as you got paid…

he seems to sense your distaste, finding nothing but entertainment in it. “‘ey, the job is done, princess. calm the hell down.”

oozing with his confident and undeniably alluring charm, he swings an arm around your shoulders, drawing you into his side.

you’d never admit how warm he is. nope, never.

“anyway,” he continues, rubbing gentle circles on the flesh of your upper arm with his thumb. “now i ain’t got dinner or a place to stay. you gonna take care of me tonight, sweets?”

his arm over your shoulder is one thing, but the way his thumb traces over the exposed skin?

the goosebumps rising on your flesh have you swatting his hand away. you’d rather take your chances with the biting cold than with him.

“hey, just quit it!” you growl, ignoring the growing warmth in your cheeks. in an attempt to rid your skin of the lingering buzz of his touch, you rub at it with your free hand. “i’ve been playin’ nice all night. m’done!”

oh, you make it way too easy for him.

he gives you some leeway and keeps his hands to himself, knowing full well that you’d still get him takeout and let him crash on your couch.

“easy, partner.” he dismisses, expertly keeping that heedless demeanor of his as his ever hungry eyes inspected you out from head to toe. “don’t need ya playin’ nice f’me. i like ya better when you’re feisty.”

[astoryisaloveaffair]

Run Through the Jungle - a Naked & Afraid/Triple Frontier AU

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

*reader is vegetarian and ethnicity/weight inclusive. people of all sizes have competed on this show (and completed it)

Fic Summary: Benny Miller convinces his bestie Frankie to compete on the Naked and Afraid survival show. He has no idea what he’s walking into when he’s paired with you

*Naked and Afraid is a reality survival show on Discovery Channel where two contestants, a man and a woman (trans & non-binary inclusive) are paired with no food, clothes, or water in a hostile environment with only 1 survival item each. Contestants can tap out at any time but must make it to 21 days to win

Read on A03

Inspiration Spotify Playlist: Frankie’s Jungle Love Mix

»»———————►

Word Count: 20K

Rating: E, 18+, lemon

Warnings: large age gap (legal), size kink, discussions of killing, processing, and eating animals, cussing, PiV, oral (f & m), dirty talk, masturbation (m), face fucking, somnophilia, enemies to lovers, Pride and Prejudice vibes, ANGST, Frankie being a misogynistic DICK for a little bit

A/N: Someone needs to fucking stop me because my brain is ignoring SO MANY WIPS RIGHT NOW! HELP! This unasked for one shot was bred out of a binge watch weekend of this show, mentioning it in passing to @musings-of-a-rose​, who then had the audacity to ask me, “what if Frankie were on that show?” and this is what happened.  This is an AU. Triple Frontier hasn’t happened yet or won’t, I haven’t decided. Frankie doesn’t have kids yet. I hope you enjoy it, I’m really in love with this story.

If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t even think they’d pick him.

His friends had suggested it to him as a joke. Benny had apparently really gotten into the show and thought it would be awesome if Frankie applied. And by ‘awesome’, he really meant ‘hysterical’.

After years of service and traumatizing missions, Frankie had felt completely lost after his retirement from Delta Force. Antsy, paranoid, ill at ease. Nothing seemed to help, not therapy, drugs, sex, coaching Benny…nothing.

Until they had all gone on a camping trip a few years ago. And he loved it. For some reason, when he was out there, all the voices in his head went silent. The only things he heard were the environment and what he needed to do to conquer it, to survive it. Living in shitty situations was second nature, and the simplicity of focusing solely on what he needs to survive and how to get it narrowed his focus and quieted the demons in his head. 

When they got home, he began taking any primitive survival course he could. Shelter building. Fire making. How to find potable water. Making and setting traps. Primitive weapon building. 

After years of practice and hands-on experience, he started volunteering as a survival guide of his own. He’d never been happier, or more at peace.

He’d never seen the show, he wasn’t big on reality TV, but the prospect intrigued him. It would be the ultimate challenge, a way to prove himself and know for sure he’s the survivalist he thinks he is. So he applied.

And he got it.

It was a whirlwind after that. A parade of paperwork, zoom interviews, in person interviews, vaccinations, taking off from work, and eating everything he could set his sight on. Before he knew it he was hugging his friends goodbye, assuring them he wouldn’t give up, and after many kisses from his mother, he hopped a plane to head to Colombia for 21 days Naked and Afraid.

Survival he wasn’t worried about. He knew he would make it 21 days and beat the jungle. It was the ‘naked’ part. And the ‘working with an unknown woman’ part, that had him concerned. He wasn’t in the best shape, and now his ass would be traipsing around the rainforest for the entire world to see. 

He’d thought about what he would want in a partner, what he wouldn’t. Someone older and capable, who wasn’t afraid of getting dirty. Someone who took direction well, wasn’t a burden, and hopefully somewhat attractive, since he’d be looking at her naked for three weeks. Hopefully she wouldn’t find him gross either, and the two of you would work well as a team. No princesses. No damsels. Preferably ex-military.

-Day One-

The ride was sobering. Sitting in the back of a bumpy Jeep Cherokee driven by a local while he props himself in front of the camera-men for his final interview before insertion. His heart is hammering in his chest at all the uncertainty, the slight self-doubt that always shadows the back of his mind rattling his nerves just enough to trigger his fight or flight. He just wanted to get it started already.

The Colombian jungle is oppressive even on the wide, bumpy dirt road cutting through it, and Frankie can feel the dense green pressing in on him, like it wants to keep him out. But it’s beautiful and rich, the air is humid but not terribly unpleasant yet. Certainly no worse than anything he’d camped in while in service. And this time he wouldn’t have to be worried about being shot at.

The jeep lurches as it stops and Frankie hops out, taking a heavy breath. He turns to the camera. “Alright well. Here we go.” He swallows and hesitates for a moment before sliding out of his flip flops and pulling his shirt off, the self consciousness of his softened tummy screaming loud in his ears. There’s been way worse on this show. Don’t worry about it.

He pushes through it, unbuttoning his pants and shoving his shorts and boxers off in one go, turning to toss everything in the back of the Jeep before saying one more signoff and entering the jungle to find his partner.

A small crew follows behind him with strict orders not to interact. A few camera-men, a producer, a medic, all will be camped nearby with all the resources he won’t have. He’s surprised it doesn’t feel more strange to have a camera almost up his ass, but it doesn’t really, not with everything else on his mind. It’s not long before he forgets about them all together as he continues down the hill through the trees to meet his partner.

To meet you.

----

You’re definitely nervous. This isn’t your first survival rodeo, but this is a whole different animal. It’s the Everest of survival challenges. You had no idea what was going to happen, but you were excited for it.

You weren’t fooling yourself. You weren’t out here to “make nature your bitch”, or conquer it. Because that would never happen. Nature conquers you. And you need to respect it to survive it. You think about your potential partner and hope he isn’t one of those uber machismo toxic energy guys who think the woman should stay back and tend the fire, tend to the shelter. Because that wasn’t you, not at all. You were young, yes, but you’re capable and confident, and you hope he won’t look down on you. You didn’t want to be passive, you wanted to do, you wanted to see what you were capable of. And you really hated being told what to do.

Maybe after this, when someone called you strong you’d actually believe it.

Nudity didn’t bother you. You didn’t really understand why people made such a big deal out of it anyways, it was just tits and ass. You shed your clothes with no hesitation, turning to smirk and wave at the camera before bounding in to meet your partner.

It takes long enough before you see him that you question for a second if this wasn’t all just some huge joke, but finally you see the flash of golden skin moving towards you between the trees as your partner appears before you with a goofy smile on his face.

You look right at his dick. Fuck, you just zing right to it against your willpower because it was big with a nice healthy patch of pubic hair and you hope to whatever is out there he didn’t catch you looking. Luckily when you jerk your eyes up and away he makes no indication he knew where you were looking.

“Um…hi.” He says, and you smile when you see the warmth in his eyes, the mop of curls on his head that are starting to wilt under the humidity. 

This shit was awkward every time, even as a viewer, so you said ‘fuck it’ and opened your arms for a hug. “Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you!” You feel him melt a little as you roll onto your tiptoes and pat his shoulders and it makes you feel a little better that he’s clearly nervous too. You release him and take a step back. You tell him your name and he tells you his. 

There’s an awkward silence, breaking as the two of you giggle nervously. You clear your throat. “Well, now that that’s over with….do you wanna see what’s in our bags?”

“Yea.” He turns to stand beside you where two burlap messenger bags are hanging from a tree, one for each of you. With him closer to you it’s easy to see how gigantic he is, his frame dwarfing yours. You sneak a look at his arms while he rifles through the bag, they are built but not ripped, golden skin lined with little freckles and scars. He was much older, you could see the gray hairs at his temple, but he seemed hearty.

“What did you bring?” 

You look up to see him staring at you, like he’s already analyzing what your skillset is. You can’t really blame him. “I brought a fire starter. What about you?”

He pulls out a sheathed machete, withdrawing the blade to show you. “This.”

“Oh, awesome, that will be really helpful. And I think I have the map too.” You pull the map out and angle towards him so the two of you can plan your route. You can see his mind structuring a plan as his eyes dart around the vague map, the most unique hooked nose twitching while he thinks.

“Looks like there’s a river down here, and we will need to follow it anyway for extraction later. I’d be able to hopefully catch some game or some fish there.” He slides a thick finger across the page along the river to an X at the mouth of the river, where the jungle breaks and opens up to the sea. “So we should head there.”

You nod, adding your input. “I agree. But not too close. There are jaguars in this jungle and I don’t want to be in the middle of a game trail.” He nods and the two of you take off further into the jungle, the crew trailing quietly behind you. “So, Francisco, tell me some more about you.”

He pauses from leading the way, turning towards you and resting a palm on a thin tree. His fingers drag across the bark of it. “Oh.” He laughs, his smile is warm and he has a little dimple in one of his cheeks. “Fuck, I didn’t even…I’m already in ‘mission mode.’ And you can call me Frankie.” 

You chuckle with him, trying to make him more comfortable. “Okay.  So…Frankie. I’m guessing you’re ex-military?”

He nods. “Yea. Special Forces. I was a helicopter pilot. But, now I fly them contractually, do tours of the Rockies and stuff. I volunteer as a survival instructor in my spare time. You?”

You tell him where you're from and a little about your job and experiences as the two of you continue walking, promising each other you won’t let the other quit the challenge.

“So what are your skills that you bring to this challenge?”

You quirk your eyebrow up when he sneaks a glance at you, but again, you can hardly be offended by the question, considering. “I can build a lot of shelters and can make fire just about anywhere, I also know how to make baskets and cordage from various plants. And I’m vegetarian, so I have a lot of knowledge about what is edible, what is poisonous, and what can be used as resources.”

“You're…vegetarian?”

“Yes.”

“How do you intend to survive without any protein?” He sounds incredulous and it kind of pisses you off.

“Exactly how I told you. There are plenty of plants that provide protein.”

“...Okay, if you say so.”

“And what about you?” You retort. “What’re your skills?”

“Hunting and trapping, weapon-making, but I can build shelters and make fires also.”

Not a competition dude. You’re trying to keep an open mind, but your heart seized up when you realized he was a soldier. In your experience, they are extraordinarily stubborn, and often very misogynistic. 

You hold your tongue and the two of you chat off and on as you make your way to the river. Other than his brusque questioning, the two of you get along well so far. It takes longer to get through the jungle barefoot than you anticipated, and when you see the position of the sun through a break in the canopy, you usher each other to speed up. You don’t have all day, and you still need to make a shelter, build a fire, and find water.

When you reach the river, you find a spot rather easily. There’s space tucked against a large tree that would be big enough for both of you. Frankie proposes a lean to shelter with a platform utilizing the tree and you agree. Sleeping on the ground amongst the bugs was not high on your “to-experience” list. The two of you separate to gather the materials to build it. Since he has the machete, he focuses on chopping and cutting branches for the frame while you harvest what you would need for cordage, padding and roofing. As you wander through the foliage grabbing palm fronds, leaves, and any edible nuts and berries, you take the time to take in your surroundings. 

The trees were more spread out closer to the river, it let the sun shine through and warm your skin, dappling the surface of the river with its beams. You had chosen a spot with a large bank, a calm currant and easy to wade through, more of a stream than a river, your shelter planned about 40 feet up the hill. You could hear Frankie hacking away out of your line of vision, and you plead to the air that he doesn’t over-exert himself trying to put on a show.

The humidity and heat has already increased, and you feel it take its toll on you only just a few hours in. It would be so easy for him to be reckless and over-do it. It wouldn’t be the first time someone was medically tapped out because they didn’t listen to their body. You try to focus instead on the soft ripple of the water, of the jungle birds above you, the occasional monkey hooting with disgust at your presence. 

You make several trips, and after a couple hours, you and Frankie have collected a sizable amount of materials. You urge him to take a break after so much activity but he blows it off.

“We don’t have much time left before it gets dark. I’ll be fine..”

You try again. “A small break won’t hurt Frankie. I’m worried about you getting dehydrated.” He blows you off again, further cementing your perception that he wants to be ‘the man’ and keep control in the situation. It had been a long walk to where you were supposed to go, and you knew you would have to take some time to-replenish eventually. You decide to pick your battles  and turn to start constructing a fire bed with leaves and dry debris next to where the platform will go. Your quiet work draws his attention, and he finally does come over to you and plops down on the ground beside you.

This was the defining moment, you knew. You needed to assert that you belonged here, that your opinions had validity, that you have just as good of a skillset. You breathe in, centering yourself before bending down and striking the flint of the fire-starter against the kindling. 

It takes only 6 strikes, the ember flaring up in the pile of debris as Frankie cheers you on. You lean in to blow on it so it will spread while he hustles to get you more leaves, throwing them on in excitement before pulling you up into a hug. You can’t stop smiling at the praise.

“That was awesome! You did that so fast! Good girl, good job!”

You wouldn’t process that’s what he said until much later.

----

Fuck, you were cute. You were cute and young and he could not believe he looked straight at your tits first thing before yanking his gaze back up to your eyes. He hoped you hadn’t noticed. He had thought he would die from mortification, but you dove right in for a hug, setting him at ease despite the fact your boobs were now on him. But you didn’t care, and it makes him feel silly for being self-conscious. He wasn’t here for…that. Though it’d been a while. And you had a nice ass.

He had hesitations, you were half his age and a vegetarian at that, and he worried you wouldn’t be able to back up the skills you claimed. But you proved him wrong, getting right to work and starting a fire faster than he’d ever seen anyone.

He’d pushed hard, he knew he shouldn’t and knew your opinion about it, but he felt the need to work harder, to prove himself to you, maybe even impress you. Not for any romantic reason, but he wants you to feel safe, provided for, making sure all the heavy tasks were firmly his territory.

After securing the fire you’d immediately direct him on how to shave bamboo to boil water in, and before long, the two of you had potable water that actually tasted pleasant. Frankie hadn’t realized how dehydrated he’d been, and when he drank it felt like he could actually feel the water being distributed in his system. You were right. You were good. Not that he doubted it. You’d made it on this show, after all.

And now you were on the ground on the batch of leaves beside a half constructed frame, so fucking close to him, his body almost spooning yours. It’d taken much longer to build the shelter and re-hydrate than he thought it would, and he begs silently for the night to go by smoothly. 

You’re curled away from him barely 5 inches away, the fire beside you as you try to settle down for the night. You had both agreed that if it got cold enough, you were both alright with cuddling for warmth.

He can smell the scent of your hair and the slight tang of dirt and perspiration, your skin looks young and soft in the low light of the fire and he almost wants to wrap his arm around you to bring you closer, get warmer, keep you safe. He doesn’t. He’s warm enough for now.

----

Frankie jerks up out of the nest, his ears pricked as he hears the rustling intensify. He whispers your name. “Don’t panic, but there’s something right there.”

You lean into him more so you can turn your head and whisper back. “Where?”

He takes you by the wrist gently and guides your hand so you’re pointing right at it. It’s warm from the fire and slightly sticky from sweat. He doesn’t feel how his touch raises goosebumps on your skin.

“Right there. I dunno what it is though.” You continue to watch for movement in the dark, eyes wide as you strain to see any flicker of something only yards away. The howler monkeys are screaming above you and increase your panic, making it more difficult to pinpoint the increased rustling. You utilize the two diary cams you were given, the light allowing you to see further into the trees. You see nothing.

But it is there, stalking with a heavy footfall, making no attempt not to brush against the trees and the leaf debris on the ground. It was circling you.

“Frankie, my heart is beating so fast.”

His large palm cups your shoulder, pulling you against him more and you go willingly, noticing how he shifts his burlap bag to be a thin barrier between your ass and his crotch. “I got my machete right here. It’ll be okay.”

You didn’t sleep much that night.

-Day Two-

“Morning of day 2.” You sigh as you hold the diary cam in front of your face. “I’m really tired. We didn’t get much sleep at all last night. Those monkeys were going insane. I thought they were going to come down and hurt us. And then there’s something out there that’s stalking us. I don’t think it’s the monkeys. Frankie’s over there sharpening his machete.”

As if on cue you hear a loud cuss, and you sit up out of the sand bank and look behind you. “Frankie? You okay?”

“Yea…yea, just nicked myself.” He looks at his finger again and grumbles while the blood blooms from the gash in his fingertip. 

“Well don’t just stare at it, you gotta put pressure on it to stop the bleeding.” He either doesn’t hear you or ignores you, so you heave yourself out of the sand with a sigh and walk up to him, hands on your hips. “Frankie. You need to hold the pressure on it so it will clot and stop bleeding so much.”

He waves you away. “Nah, I’m fine. It’s okay.”

“I could create a bandage for you out of leaves, you should have it protected because if it gets inf—”

“Nah, if I need it, I’ll come to you.” He responds with finality.

Stubborn ass. “You’re not listening to me.”

“Nope, I’m not. I don’t want a bandage. Really. Men don’t need bandages on little cuts like this if they don’t have to. I’ve had hundreds of cuts like this. And we still have a lot of work to do.”

You sigh. “Are men invincible to infection?”

His brow furrows and he digs his heels into his choice. “Yes.”

“Fine…whatever.” You stalk off, muttering under your breath. Dumbass. Sitting there touching all these things and bleeding everywhere. Even though it wasn’t too bad, it was a huge risk to not do something so simple to prevent infection. He was being completely ridiculous.

Frankie glares at you as you walk away. “Don’t need anything for a damn nick. I’ve been in the frickin’ jungle before, I don't need to be taught about injuries out here…” He huffs out a frustrated breath, popping his thumb into his mouth to suck off the blood.

“Putting it in your mouth is even worse.”

He sighs and throws his hands in the air. “I can’t win.”

Frankie heaves himself up and gets to work cutting more bamboo for the completion of the shelter, working through the injury silently just to prove to you you were wrong. You had to admit that he was right. You couldn’t stop working, and he had to push through it. You had to complete your shelter, get more firewood, boil more water, maybe even try and forage for food.

Despite your differences, you work together well as a team in Frankie’s opinion, as long as he’s in charge. When it’s complete, you go your separate ways to find some food. You head deeper into the forest for edible plants, and Frankie perches on the large rocks in the stream, turning over rocks hoping to find some mussels or crabs.

He had no success, but you did. You return with your arms full of dark green leaves, putting them down by your shelter and holding a piece out to Frankie. “It’s river cabbage!” He frowns, but reaches out to pull a small piece off and stuffs it in his mouth. You let him chew, laughing internally about his sour expression. “Well?”

“Taste’s like a leaf.”

“This cabbage has a lot of the proteins and nutrients we will need.”

“Well good for you, I can’t survive 21 days on just that. I need more than that.”

You spend the rest of the day exploring for other resource options, pausing to have a brief argument over whether or not Frankie should drink from a non-stagnant pool fed by a waterfall when you have a perfectly workable and safe way of getting water, but once again, you lose that battle.

-Day Five-

The next few days pass much the same. Foraging. Getting water. Stocking firewood. Frankie set several snares and deadfall traps along game trails and animal holes. You made yourself a little reed skirt to cover your ass and crotch. You argued with Frankie, who was particularly insufferable when his water theory proved right and he didn’t get sick. But you would still huddle close, talk about random things when you couldn’t sleep, picking ticks off each other in the night. And despite how hungry and tired you were becoming, you weren’t even close to wanting to quit.

But the effects of not sleeping, not eating, not having enough water hit you hard by the sixth day, your body was sore and fatigued and the two of you decided to have a more relaxing day.

Frankie hated seeing you uncomfortable. The primal instinct to protect you reared back to life, and he remembered what Will told him before he left.

Take care of her. She’s going to be like your wife. You’re jungle wife. You gotta look out for each other.

“Hey.” You’re lying back in the sand by the river bank twiddling with some cordage. You turn your head towards Frankie as he ambles towards you. “So, I’m gonna go back up to that waterfall area to get more water.”

You nod, shifting to move. “Alright, let’s go.”

“You’re gonna stay here.”

“...What? Why?!”

“Just cause I’m gonna get the water. No-no-no.” He holds his hands out to cut you off as you protest. “You’re tired, you need rest. You’re gonna stay here. I need you to relax.”

“But I can get water. I feel fine.”

“I’m asking you to please stay here.”

“And I’m telling you that I know my own body and I’m fine. We can get twice the water back here if I go.”

He steps back, rubbing his eyes as he heaves another frustrated sigh. “Fine. You wanna disobey, fine. Just do whatever then.”

You jerk back almost as if he had hit you. “Um…excuse me? Disobey? I’m not a dog.”

“I want you to stay.”

You stand up and grab the walking stick you made. “I’m ready.”

“Fine. You wanna be like that? Fine. Hurry up then.”

----

He was unbearable. The most difficult and stubborn individual you had ever been around, and you had to be with him 24 hours a day, for three weeks. You want to scream. Or punch him. You can’t stand when people tell you what to do, order you around like you were fresh into the army. No one does that. Not anymore. You do whatever the fuck you want, when you want to.

The silence is palpable as you collect water from the falls, and Frankie can’t stand it. “...So what are you gonna do next?”

You shrug, not even meeting him in the eye.

“What, are you like not talking to me now?”

“Sounds like you want to tell me what I should be doing.”

“I just want to take care of you, look out for you! What is the problem with that?!”

“I don’t need you to do that. I can do it myself. Don’t presume you can just march up to me and tell me what to do.”

“No, listen, it’s not that, I–. Look, I’m a guy, I see a woman in distress, a woman not feeling good and I wanna do what I can to help her.”

You don’t respond, standing up and gathering your bamboo shafts full of water as you carefully move away from the falls. Frankie turns to the camera-man beside him. “Silent treatment. Look at this. I’m fine, I'm not angry, she’s angry at me!” He stands up quickly and hops from rock to rock recklessly to chase you. “Hey! Please be careful.” 

“You are everything I didn’t want in a partner. You’re such a stubborn, misogynistic ass.” You turn to him with a sneer, balanced perfectly on a rock.

“Wow, okay, all this from me seeing you needed rest and trying to take the burden? I was worried about you! I care, it’s about compassion!?”

“Caring is not bossing someone around.”

Frankie grunts, throwing his hands up at your back. “Let me just shut up then, because anything I say you’ll use against me.” When you make it back to camp he trudges away into the woods in a dramatic huff. You don’t encourage him with a response. You refuse to be an audience for his behavior.

----

He doesn’t even know where he’s going. He’s just walking, pacing back and forth away from the shelter as he calms down and composes his thoughts. 

“I was just trying to be helpful. I thought she was tired…I just wanted to help, I wasn’t trying to order her around.” The camera-man shrugs and Frankie sighs, looking up into the sky. The howler monkeys are quiet today, and he can actually hear the birds singing. The constant lingering feeling of being watched by something has dissipated.

You are everything I didn’t want in a partner.

He winces. “Crap.” That’s not who he is…or that’s not the man he wants to be.

She’s your jungle wife.

He heads back to camp.

You’re sitting under lean-to quietly, constructing a basket to help you gather more items on your treks. You don’t look up when he comes out of the trees. “You’re back.”

“I’m back. How are you feeling?”

You stare at him dead-eyed. “Frankie…I don’t want you to think I’m mad at you, but I don’t like being told what to do. No one does. Not even you.”

He nods, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “Okay. Then I’m really sorry.”

“...Okay.” You return your attention to your basket, and Frankie moves off to work on something else. 

You sleep very far apart that night. It sucked. It was kind of chilly.

-Day Seven-

He can’t find anything. It’s pissing him off. No oysters, no crabs, no crawfish…nothing. He was starving. He could feel his muscles protesting every time he moved, felt the fat melting off his tummy and ass, his body beginning to feed itself as it searches for nutrition. He’s barely consuming 50 calories a day, and he’s burning it off faster than he can get it. 

He finds tiny snails and cooks them, feeling a little bad when you realize the only way to cook them is to roast them alive. “Listen…” He tries to soothe. “I know it's harsh, but they’re snails. They don’t have feelings.”

“Well how do you know that? Maybe they do. It’s still a life.” You sigh. “I’m sorry. You’re used to meat and you need to eat, I know that. …Just seeing them squirming and exploding sucks.”

He does his best to be diplomatic. He has to make this work. You need each other. “Okay. I hear you, and I respect your beliefs.”

“...Okay.”

“I mean, I think it’s kinda nuts but…”

You can’t keep the smile growing on your face. “...Are you calling me crazy?”

“I didn’t say ‘crazy’. I said ‘a little nuts’. Big difference.”

“I don’t think it’s nuts to stand up for my beliefs, no matter how small you think they are. Even if it’s a snail. You’re taking it’s life.”

He looks at you then, really looks at you. Warm brown eyes clear and give you absolute attention for what feels like the first time this entire challenge. He’s trying to reach out, trying to understand you. You look away, resting your head on your arms. 

He stands up and stretches, reaching down to grab his ‘plate’. “I’m going to go get some more, clean this up.” He carefully picks his way back to the rock where he’d found the snails in the first place. He looks up at the camera-man. “I feel bad…so, I’m gonna let these ones go. I can come back for them if I need them.” He nods to himself, carefully plucking the remaining tiny snails from his bamboo plate and tucking them back into the water with care.

He’d never really thought about it before. He’d never eat a dog, or a cat, or some exotic and beautiful endangered animal, but he had never thought twice about cattle when he ordered a steak, cooked a hamburger. He wonders if maybe the military desensitized him to the value of life more than he thought, and he vows from now on that when he eats a living creature, he’d respect it as a life and be thankful. He trots back to you to tell you.

“Hey! So, um, I put the rest of them back.”

Your head whips up and you stare at him, your lips parting as you search the truth in his face. His heart rate speeds up and makes him dizzy from the lack of food, and he realizes it’s because he’s anxious to see how you feel. He cares about your opinion of him, like actually cares.

You blink rapidly. “You— you did?”

His large hand stretches up to cup the back of his neck, fingers trailing through the dirty curls at the nape of his neck. You’d noticed it’s something he does when he’s agitated or nervous. Or bashful. “Yea. I didn’t need them right now. They’re still there if I need them later. Not goin’ anywhere.” 

The brightest smile blooms across your face and he almost missteps in the sand at how brilliant it is and how it makes his chest pinch ever so slightly. You cup your hand around his calf and slide your palm up and down the back of it briefly before taking him by the hand and tugging him to sit. He doesn’t know why but he has trouble meeting your eyes.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

“No problem. No big deal.” He grunts.

You hand him some edible berries. “Want some of this?”

He nods, looking down as your small fingers deposit the berries into his rough calloused palm, amazed at how your skin is so luminescent even caked and streaked in mud.

----

It was really chilly that night. No wind, but it just settled on you, and 70 degrees feels much different when you have no clothes on. You’re tucked around the fire and Frankie is a few feet away on his back, staring out at the stars and fingering the burlap of the bag resting over his crotch. He thinks about how much harder this was then he thought it would be, and that maybe he should have watched more episodes to prepare. He thinks about how lately when he stands up he gets king of dizzy. He has to stop being so stubborn and eat the food that you’re providing. He needs to sit down and make heavier duty traps tomorrow. Maybe you will make a fish basket even though you don’t eat meat. 

His mind drifts to you, wondering what your family is like, if your friends are as feisty as you, what else you like to do for fun. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. If you’d keep in contact after all of this.

“Frankie?”

“Hmmm?”

“It’s cold. Can you come closer?”

He shuffles closer, the side of his body just an inch from your backside. You look over your shoulder. “No, we need to cuddle. It’s for my benefit as well as yours.”

“Oh, okay, yea that’s a good idea.” He shifts, rolling to his side while making sure the burlap bag is still covering him, scooting up against you until your skin is flush with his, your back sinking into the warmth of his chest and your ass in the cup of his hips. “Good?”

You grunt, reaching back to grab his hand to pull it forward, wrapping his arm around you and against your stomach. His leg goes with it, a calf sliding between yours and he instantly feels the increase in warmth from that simple switch in position.

He hums deeply against you, and you feel it rumbling against your back. It feels…good. Comforting and warm. He’s so fucking warm, burning almost as warm as the fire in front of you. You close your eyes, taking in the press of his chest against your back as he breathes, the tang of his sweat that smells more good then bad.

The two of you settle, and the camera-men pack it up and head back to their own area for the night, leaving you alone to the night as usual with only your diary cams. It’s relatively quiet, the howler monkeys giving it up for the night after screaming non stop for an entire week, resigning themselves to the fact that you will be here a while. Instead, you can hear the chirps of insects, the creak of the trees, the crackle of the fire. The soft sound of Frankie humming against you.

“Your hair still smells good.” He mumbles after a while.

“It does? What does it smell like?”

You feel a tickling, the tip of his nose pushing against the crown of your head and swirling in a little circle as he inhales. “MMmmm like…coconuts. And cookies. And sweat.”

“Ew.” You laugh. “I’m sorry.”

“S’not bad. It’s just…you.”

“Oh.” 

You let the silence fall once more, then suddenly tilt your face back to him again. 

“You smell like shit.”

He bursts out laughing behind you, you can feel the release of air against your shoulder and you join him, his chest quivering as he gains his composure.

----

You feel so fucking good in his arms, the tremble of your frame as you giggle against him and it’s like the sweetest sound he’s ever heard. He holds you against him a little tighter and you release a small sigh as you finally drift off to sleep. 

You’ve been finding it harder than him to sleep out here, and he’s relieved as he feels you become limp in his arms, happy you might finally get some good sleep. You’re so small and he’s so much older than you, he realizes he feels protective of you, even though you’ve proven you can take care of yourself. It’s different when you’re curled up, against him like a little cat. You fit so perfectly against his own body.

You whimper and squirm in your sleep, your ass wriggling and you slightly push back against him, the pressure against his dick making him bite back a soft moan. Fuck. Fuck! NO! No no no, no boners, no. Chairs. My grandma. Pope’s hairy ass. 

He’s suddenly aware that he’s gone this entire time not even thinking about…that. Those urges just don’t feel so important when you’re tired and hungry and exposed to the wilderness. It reminds him that he had found you attractive when he first looked at you. The round curves of your hips and the perkiness of your tits, your sparkling eyes and pretty hair.

But right now, you finally have a calm night. The fire is high and there’s plenty of wood to burn, you’d eaten a somewhat decent meal of river cabbage and a rare find of guanabana. Whatever animal had been stalking you off and on since the first day was quiet, and the bugs weren’t too annoying. His mind could wander to other things, like how you looked using his machete to hack down leaves to re-pad your bed, the way your back arches when you stretch in the morning, tits pointing to the sky. Or the swell of your ass when you were lying on your stomach in the sand, peeling apart a fruit. That one time he caught you doing some light yoga moves to boost your fatigue, your ass perked up as you bent down to touch your toes. How he’d wanted the little grass skirt you’d made to shift just so slightly so maybe he could see more of you.

Fuck.

He was getting fucking hard, and he shifts his hips back a little so he doesn’t poke you in the ass but you shift with him, seeking the warmth from his body. Your ass bumps against him again and he stifles a moan as his hips involuntarily buck into you with a slight roll. His hand grips you tighter against the stomach, finger pads pressing into the shrinking swell of your tummy skin as he loses himself in it, grinding against you again with another soft moan. 

It’s too much, his brain is not working right and he’s hungry and tired and thirsty, and you were so warm, and holy fuck he was about to rip that burlap bag off of himself and push his cock deep inside you, fucking you on the ground as you cried out in his arms. And then it comes back to him so suddenly, his reality slamming back into the front of his mind he’s surprised he doesn’t actually get whiplash. 

You barely knew each other. You weren’t his girlfriend. And you were asleep. He releases you with a curse and pulls away from you, scooting away across the ground as he sits up. You stir, jostled by his arm leaving your waist. 

“Frankie?”

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you. Just…gotta take a piss. I’ll be right back.”

“Mmmkay.”

He grabs the diary cam, opening it so it lights his way as he tiptoes out and into the dark. He shouldn’t go too far, but he doesn’t want you or the crew to hear him. He has to take care of it, it’s only natural what happened but he can’t let it interfere with the challenge. It probably would have happened with any partner.

He finds a thick tree, pressing his back against the bark to support him as he grabs himself, careful not to go beyond the foreskin. His hands are filthy and a bacterial infection would suck. He squeezes his shaft, starting slowly but quickening his strokes faster than he normally would. 

Just take care of it, and then get your ass back there and warm her up. He thinks about how your ass felt against him, he could have shifted forward and gently pushed that grass skirt aside to see if you were wet and waiting for him between your thighs. He thinks about how small you are compared to him, how many fingers you could take inside you, how much of a struggle it would be to stuff his cock as deep as he can go. He’s so big compared to you, he might be able to just lift you up and down his cock himself.

He’s panting hard and it’s making him light-headed but he’s almost there, just needs one more push. He thinks about if this were caveman times and how he would just march over there and pull you to him and fuck you into the goddamn dirt, loud enough the entire fucking jungle would know you were his and—

“FUcccckk.” He cums a lot, spurts of it shooting out in the dark onto the forest floor while he tries to keep his moans down. He bites his lip and tilts his head back, the crown of his head bumping the bark of the tree as he empties himself completely until the only sounds are his recovering breaths, the trickling of the stream, the rustling of leaves, and the low growl of–

“What the fuck! Shit!” He swivels around to the other side of the tree but the thing just follows him, slowly circling. He thinks he can almost see its flashing eyes in the dark. He rips his bag open to grab his machete, his breath leaving him when he realizes that he fucking left it back at camp.

He has to run. It’s too close, and it’s not here for anything else. He turns to haul ass back to camp in the hope it would steer clear of the fire but he almost crashes into you arriving with the machete in one hand and a makeshift torch in the other. 

“No no! Come on. It’s a giant fucking cat, we gotta go to the fire!”

But you ignore him, yelling at the top of your lungs before raising both arms in the air with your makeshift weapons, stomping forward at the jaguar he knows is back there.

“FUCK OFFFF!” You roar, and Frankie’s senses come back to him and he kneels, grabbing anything he can get in his hands and throwing them as hard as he can into the area he thinks the cat is in. You hear a low chuff and the sounds of leaves rustling again, but then….quiet. You press your back to Frankie’s so all sides are covered, but after several minutes you know it’s gone, you can just feel it is. That oppressive feeling of being watched, leered at, has lifted. You turn to Frankie and thrust his machete into his hand, grabbing him by the wrist to run back to camp.

When you get there you throw the torch away and all but dive bomb into the lean to. Frankie collects you around the waist and pulls you against him. You’re breathing hard, your eyes wild and darting around and he can tell you’re starting to hyperventilate.

He cups the back of your head, dragging you the rest of the way onto his lap where you collapse onto his shoulder. He can feel the warm puffs of your adrenaline fueled breath and he slowly starts rubbing your back up and down, cooing in your ear as he watches the entrance of the small shelter for further danger. 

“Holy shit.” You whisper after a few minutes.

“You okay?”

“Yes, yea. Just…I can’t believe I did that. You were gone so long and I got worried.”

He laughs, but it sounds more like a choked sob. “God, fuck, I’m so mad you did that but I’m so thankful you did that.”

“Of course I did. You’re my partner.”

“Yea.”

Time slows, the sounds of the jungle fuzzes out and blends together as you hold each other and calm down, but he finds that when you start to pull away from him, he doesn’t want to let go.

But he does. You clamber off him awkwardly and the silence between you two is deafening. It feels like it takes forever for you to meet his eyes, and his heart drops into his stomach when he considers the fact that you’d probably seen…that. 

But you don’t say anything, so neither does he.

-Day Nine-

Frankie settles down in the sand to construct some bird traps, and you sit beside him, acquiescing to his request to make a fish basket. You’re quiet, you don’t talk much but something has shifted, and Frankie feels much more comfortable with you. He hopes you feel the same. 

He goes on his own to set the traps and lay the fish basket higher up in the stream of the river where it’s wider. When he returns, he doesn’t see you, and he panics for a second before a splashing sound draws his attention. He looks to the stream and sees you coming out of a deeper pool, twisting your hair to get residual water out.

You’re wading out in the early evening rays of the sun looking like some kind of wilderness goddess and as hard as he tries, he can’t look away from you. Rivulets of water run between your breasts and down to your belly button, the curve of your waist sloping into the rounds of your hips as they emerge from the water. You look like a fucking Bond girl.

And you don’t have the grass skirt on. His brain completely shuts down, paralyzing his body, limbs rooted to the ground as the desire for you jams him up from making any quick decision, and before he knows it, you see him staring at you and head towards him with a sweet smile.

“Hey! How’d it go?”

“Good.” He replies much too quickly, but you just nod and head back towards the shelter.

----

It’s late. He’s not sure what time but he knows he’s up and you’re up too, because you keep poking at the fire. He cups your bicep with his warm palm to get your attention, and you tilt your head to look back at him.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable today.”

You furrow your brow. “What do you mean?”

“Earlier, I...was staring at you. You caught me.”

You laugh, and it sounds stupid but Frankie actually thinks he feels butterflies in his chest. “Don’t worry about it. We’re naked and sometimes biology just…has to do its thing. Doesn’t mean anything.”

“No.” He wonders if you’re insinuating you saw him, but you say nothing more as you turn back to the fire, and he continues to worry, feeling like he needs to be more convincing how not attracted to you he is. He blurts it out before his mind has a chance to rephrase it. “You must be half my age.”

“They probably do that on purpose, like putting oil and vinegar together. How…old are you? I never asked.”

“46.”

“That’s not that old. There’s been older on here.”

“And you?”

“25.”

Shit. She’s fucking young, and I…

“Hey Frankie?”

“Yea?”

“About the other day…I don’t do well with people telling me what to do.”

“I know, and I’m sorry—“

“No, I mean, there’s a reason. I dated a guy a while ago.” You release a breath, Frankie can feel your back heaving against his skin. “He was really controlling. I couldn’t go anywhere without telling him and he had to direct everything I did. It cut me off from friends, family. It took forever to get away from him. He…scared me. So, I’m extra sensitive. It brings me back to that place and I don’t like it.”

Frankie doesn’t know what to say, so instead he cups your bicep and squeezes, feeling the tension in your frame against him. “I’m sorry. I get it. Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me that.”

You say nothing, closing your eyes to try to finally fall asleep. 

“We aren’t all like that, you know.”

“If you say so…” Your response is cute and slurred, and it feels good that he can finally, finally provide you with something, even if it’s not what he expected it would be. Trust. Comfort. Friendship.

-Day Twelve-

The snares are catching nothing. Neither are the traps. Frankie can feel his body breaking down, his muscles are weak and he’s never been so tired in his life. The cabbage and berries keep him from starving but his body is used to meat and needs that protein to function. 

He finds himself mis-stepping more, his brain’s synapses not firing fast enough causing him to be less coordinated. And so, when he was shaving bamboo for new water containers, his machete slipped and sliced his finger open. Again.

“Ah! Shhhhhhhiizzzzz..!” He growls, trying not to cuss on camera.

“Frankie? You okay?”

“Yea! Ummm no, I cut myself again!”

“I’m coming!”

You emerge from the forest where you were foraging for plants, floating towards him like an angel. You stand next to him and put your hands on your hips, ready for another fight. “That one’s kinda bad.”

His entire fingertip is sliced deep, he’s putting pressure on it like you’d told him to last time, but you can see some blood seeping out between his fingers. “Just hold it until it slows down, I’ll be right back.” He nods and you march back into the forest, scanning the brush for what you need. You grab a large palm frond with rows of thin, long leaves and a big banana leaf before returning, grabbing some of your freshly made cordage and a bamboo cask of fresh water. You sit down in front of him, cupping his giant hands in yours. You can barely get yours around them. “How’s it going? Do you think we should call a medic?”

He peeks under a finger. “No. I think it’s slowed down.”

“Good, lemme see. Hopefully you won’t need a stitch.”

He grunts but fights against his stubbornness, letting you open his fist and inspect the slash. He watches silently as you pour some water over his finger to clean it, then grab the banana leaf and fold it in half several times until it makes a small little pad. You press it to his cut, then begin wrapping one of the long and thin leaf around the finger to secure that in place. Finally, you pull a small vine out of one of your cords and wrap it around his finger too, tying it neatly atop his fingernail to seal the whole thing together. 

“Hmmm. There. That should be good, but try not to get it dirty. I don’t want it to get infected. I’ll recheck it tomorrow and do another clean.” When you look up he’s looking at you, eyes wide and soft. His brow is slightly furrowed and he reminds you of a puppy, big brown eyes holding an emotion you can’t place. You feel your cheeks burn, and you pat the side of his hand and release them. 

He puts his hand on your knee. You feel the hairs rising up on your legs and arms, your heartbeat pounding in your ears. “Thanks.”

You can’t meet his eyes. “No problem.” You stand abruptly, rushing off like an idiot towards the stream, choosing a rock baking in the sun that’s hopefully out of his eyeline. 

What the fuck is going on? 

By now you know what it feels like when you stand up too fast, when you don’t find food, when you overdo it in the sun. This isn’t that.

This…was completely unexpected. You didn’t come out here for this, but you can’t deny your feelings. You liked him. You actually liked this ridiculous, stubborn, arrogant mess of a man you were paired with that was so opposite to you in every single way. He was old. He ate meat, he’s stubborn and borderline unbearable to be around, he was kind of misogynistic, he was…he was changing. 

You sit up and look back over at him, he’s looking at the finger you bandaged, fingering it carefully like he’s caressing the spot your hand was. Your breath is quickening and it’s making you lightheaded from little food, so you lay back onto the rock surface to calm the dizziness.

You couldn’t deny you’d thought him handsome when you first saw him. He was broad, with wide rounded shoulders, a strong neck, a sharp jaw and the most unique nose you’d ever seen. It all somehow suited him perfectly. His skin was warm and golden and his eyes were like milk chocolate with the softest lashes. A full head of curly hair despite his age, the only show of that in the sporadic gray hairs throughout his mop and the short ones along his temple.

And over time, the light scruff had grown along his jaw, streaked with gray with patches missing in it that stayed there even as the rest of the hair kept growing around it. It was cute and endearing, and you’d hated it when you realized that’s what you thought about it. 

His arms were thick and strong, a broad sternum tapering in and then sloping back out into a little soft tummy that had gone down throughout your challenge. You liked it better when it was bigger. You liked the light trail of hair that gathered around his belly button, leading to the area below he always tried to keep covered with his bag. The area hiding the absolute giant dick he had. Now that you think about it, it was nice. You want to see it again. 

You think of how strong he felt when he’d hugged you after making the fire, when he—

Good girl.

Shit. 

When you turn to look at him again, he’s up and heading to you, so you try to calm yourself down and ignore the ache growing low in your belly, looking away from him because now you know it would be a completely different way.

“Hey, just wanted to let you know I’m goin’ to check the traps, maybe wander around a bit. Okay? You good?”

You clear your throat and nod, turning your head to the side acting like you’re scratching your ear. “I’m good. Thanks for letting me know. I might look for firewood but I won’t go far.”

He nods and turns away, and god dammit, you can’t help but look at his cute little ass. 

----

So, it wasn’t a one time deal. Frankie was fucked. He liked you a lot. You were so different than him, so gentle and kind but fierce also, and he thinks back at all the times you yelled at him or stood up to him with heat burning his cheeks. You saw value in everything, you were persistent and understanding, and he wishes he’d behaved better earlier in the challenge,  because he’d been an absolute dick. He was regretting it.

He’s so lost in his mind he almost doesn’t even see it, only alerted by the flash of reddish-brown skin and the soft crunching as the snake slides through leaf debris, squeezing itself between a large rock and the base of a tree.

His heart drops in his chest and he wrestles with himself whether to run or sneak, ultimately choosing the former as he darts forward with his machete raised, catching the snake's tail just as it’s about to disappear into the hideaway, yanking it out with a wide sweep of his arm and flinging it to the ground a few yards away.

The thing is pissed, and he pauses momentarily when he realizes it’s a fucking pit viper. Venomous. It coils its body tightly behind its head, raising up with a hiss in warning. It’s a huge risk, but he’s too hungry to let it go. He grabs a stick off the ground and moves quickly, pressing the split blunt end of the stick where the back of the jaw meets the ground, pushing down to pin the animal in place. The snake only gets angrier, its back end flailing around as it tries to free itself and turn to bite him. But it's too late, the machete is swung once, twice, and it's over, and Frankie plops down on his ass to the ground to catch his breath.

When the end of the animal stops moving, he moves toward it, knocking the still toxic head away as he collects the body. He leans back on his heels and closes his eyes, lifting his head to the canopy. “Thank you…” He whispers to the jungle. “Thank you so much.” He looks down once more at the snake in his hands, speaking to it as if it could hear him. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry but I’m hungry. Thank you.” 

He looks like sunshine when he returns to camp with the snake in his hands, but when he sees you he halts, holding it behind his back like a child caught in the cookie jar.

You huff out a laugh. “Frankie, it’s…okay. I know you have to eat, you don’t have to hide it. I’m glad you got something.”

He looks uncertain but comes towards you, sitting a little behind you so he can process the animal without you having to see it. “This is a good find. Lots of protein for me. Almost didn’t even see it. I…feel bad.”

You turn, your mouth twitching at the sight of the snake’s skin being peeled from its body. “Wait. Frankie…what is that?”

“A snake.”

“No I mean…is that a viper?”

“Yea! It was crazy! He was tryin’ to get away and I yanked him right out of the rock.”

You hold your palms up. “Are you telling me that you chased an extremely venomous snake, alone, and grabbed it with your bare hands? Are you insane?! That snake can kill you with one bite!”

He frowns. “I had a stick and the machete. And I’m fine!”

“That was a huge risk. You could’ve gotten seriously hurt.”

“Yea I know, I’m sorry…but I got it, and I tried to respect it. I don’t know how to do it so I just thanked it after. That probably sounds stupid.”

“No, it doesn’t. But don’t do something that stupid again.” You stand up and head into the shelter to rest so you don’t have to see him eat.

-Day Fourteen-

The energy from that one snake felt like Frankie was suddenly on steroids, after having so little for so long, but as the days passed he was heading back to the same place, hungry and with no hint of food. He needed to find something today. There were ominous clouds darkening the sky, and if it rained bad enough, they might be confined to the shelter. He was so thankful for you, you’d spent the day gathering as much as possible before racing back to camp, strengthening the roof with last minute additions before the rain started falling.

And falling.

It was a complete downpour, and it lasted for hours. You and Frankie were huddled next to each other inside the shelter, trying desperately to keep the fire going, but the makeshift cover you’d made for it made no difference. You almost cried when the fire went out, and there was nothing else you could do but suffer through it as the temperature went down drastically. It rained the entire next day and into the night, the temperature had dropped to only 50 degrees and you finally broke, the constant strength Frankie had seen in you shattering to pieces.

“Fr–Frankie I’m still cold, I’m so fucking cold I can’t stop shivering.” 

You really can’t, and it’s starting to scare him with how violently you’re shaking as he spoons you from behind as close as he can. Your burlap bags were wrapped around your feet to keep from freezing and you were completely bare against each other, but the increase in warmth was substantial enough for neither of you to give a damn. “Hey. Come here.”

“What?”

“Come here, turn around.” He pauses, hoping he didn’t overstep, but if you were that cold, him holding you this way might help. You do hesitate, but quickly turn in his arms, whimpering as a cold stick pokes into your back.

He settles you against him, your face tucked into his neck and your hands clasped against his chest, both of his arms wrapping around you and pulling you in closer, trying to give you as much of his body heat as he can. 

He can only tell you’re crying when he feels the hot wetness against his shoulder, and he cups the back of your head with his large palm. “Oh…no, no please don’t cry. Please don’t cry, shhhhhhh.” He coos into your hair, sliding his hands and arms up and down your body for friction, trying to warm you up, and neither of you give a shit that his hands are all up and down your thighs and ass, your back, and the sides of your breasts. 

“Frankie I can’t. I can’t do this.”

He pulls you in harder, as if he could absorb you into his warmth. “No please, you can. I know you can.”

“I can’t!” You sob, and the sound physically hurts him so much he gets up and rolls you onto your back, immediately covering the entirety of your body with his large frame, his forearms braced on the ground and curling around your shoulders. He tucks his face into your neck, nose bumping against the dirty skin, and you whimper when you feel the warm puffs of breath against you. 

Every part of you is touching every part of him, but it doesn’t even matter. Nothing matters other than the fact that this man is giving you his entire body to keep you warm, even though his back is completely exposed to the chill of the air. “Frankie, what about you?”

“I’m okay. Just want you to be okay. You can do this okay? I got you, I need you here with me, okay?”

You wrap your arms around his back, opening your thighs just a little so he can nestle slightly between them, taking advantage of that extra warmth. You suddenly feel so exhausted, like you don’t even feel the cold anymore but just need to sleep. Sleep and it will go away. Maybe when you wake up the rain will be over.

He only realizes it when your breathing slows and your hands stop rubbing against his back. He calls your name, but you don’t answer. “Hey! Hey, no, you can’t go to sleep, you gotta stay up.” He wriggles from side to side, trying to jostle you awake and he starts panicking when you don’t. “Hey, come on, baby, please. Gotta stay up. Fuck!” 

He hates it but he unloops his arm from under you to give you several slaps on the cheek. Your eyes burst open and immediately seek his.

“Fuck…shit…you scared me…” His head was still in the crook of your neck, but you could hear the fear in his voice. “You can’t go to sleep. You could go into hypothermia and I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Okay? Gotta stay up. Stay up with me.” He pulls his head out of your neck and cups your cold cheeks with his hands. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

-Day Fifteen-

The rain stopped early in the morning, and the two of you spent the entire next day catching up on the sleep you couldn’t risk during the night. When you woke, you were nestled into his chest, your nose pressing into his skin. 

It was warm out.

You sigh, wondering whether you should try to wriggle out or just wake Frankie up, but you find that you aren't eager to leave his arms. One of his arms is draped against your waist, and the other is the pillow your head rests on. 

He had willingly sacrificed his own body heat in order to keep you warm, whispering in your ear all night to keep you awake. He told you about his stupid friends, things he had to do in the military that still haunted him to this day, his favorite movies. Anything to keep you up and engaged. You’d never seen anyone on the show do that before. 

You don’t want to leave his arms. You don’t want to keep ignoring how you feel, no matter how crazy it is. You rest your head back against his broad chest, your thumb softly stroking the skin of his hip that your hand rested on.

He hums, subconsciously pulling you by the waist closer into him, your breath catching when you feel the stiff length of his cock pressing into your abdomen. You freeze, not knowing what to do. You’re not sure if you want him to stop or keep going as he chases the feeling, rolling his hips up against you as he hardens further. 

He doesn’t know he’s doing it, doesn’t know it’s you and that’s what makes you slap him on the chest lightly and call his name until he wakes up blearily, a stupid lazy smile on his face.

“Hey.”

“Hi, um. Can you?” You point down and he all but throws himself off you, ripping the burlap bag from his feet and covering up his erection from you. 

“Oh shit! Fuck, I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry, fuck, I didn’t think…it would happen out here.” You continue staring at him, your lips in a little ‘O’ shape as you stare at him from beneath your eyelashes. He grimaces, then hides his face in his hands. “I’m so fucking sorry. It’s a morning thing, it’s not–I don’t—”

“It’s fine.” You murmur quickly, shifting to your knees to exit the shelter. “I know it wasn’t on purpose. Thanks for keeping me so warm last night.”

“...Yea, no problem.”

When you exit the tent he slaps himself in the forehead. He hopes he didn’t ruin it.

----

It doesn’t seem like anything has changed. You’d meant what you said when you told him some things were just biology. But after the two of you work on getting a fire re-started, ultimately relying on cutting pieces of your own hair to spark it up against the wet kindling, you again find yourself in an intimate position.

The mosquitos were horrific today, all the rain agitating them and giving them hope for places to lay their eggs. It was awful, the worst it had been since you came. Frankie suggested you rub ash on each other, telling you sometimes it helped ward off bugs. You laugh to yourself as you turn your back to him, asking him to put it on for you. You can almost hear him swallow, his hands gathering up some ash and rubbing it on your shoulders and back. You don’t stop him as he goes lower, even as he eyes your reaction when he goes and puts it on your thighs, curving his hands back up to quickly smear some over your butt cheeks.

“Just being thorough.” He says when you jokingly glare at him.

The rest of the day is spent looking for more food. You hadn’t eaten anything during the storm and you desperately needed the nutrients. Frankie was looking especially thin, and you sometimes catch him wobbling when he stands up. 

You cuddle again that night, just as close together even though it wasn’t as cold, the comfort of being against the other person was something the two of you had clearly gotten used to.

-Day Sixteen-

“Frankie!”

“Yea!”

You can’t believe you actually have the energy to run, but you’re too excited. “Look what I found!” You thrust your arm in the air, holding the yucca root high so he can see it.

“What is that? I can’t see that far!”

You laugh as you come before him, panting harshly. “I found yucca!”

“You did?!”

“YES.”

“We have soap?”

“We have soap!” You cheer, your excitement bubbling over as you hope up and down in the sand. “And carbs! We can also boil some of this. Maybe we can fill up enough for extraction with this.”

The two of you get to work taking turns peeling the yucca with Frankie’s machete. Your muscles were unsteady as it began to feast upon itself in starvation, and you became tired quickly, making you clumsier with the large knife. It helps to switch back and forth every few minutes. Finally, you get it as peeled as you can. Frankie chops some up and puts it in a few bamboo shoots, lying them gently against the hot coals of the fire to boil while you ground up the rest to try to make soap.

After doing the best you could, Frankie pulls you up by your hand and the two of you giddily frolic into the water, splashing your way to a knee deep area. “Here. Turn around. Maybe we can finally get this nice and clean.” You ruffle his filthy, matted hair.

“Are you saying I smell?”

“Yes. Sit down and tilt your head back.”

He laughs and does what you ask, and you use one of your bamboo cups to scoop up some water and wet his hair, kneeling behind him as you start rubbing the ground yucca between your hands vigorously.

“Is it working?” 

“I think so. Keep your head straight. Obey.” You lightly smack him on the arm and he chuckles, recalling your worst spat a few days ago. You finally just slop the yucca onto his head and cup water on it, intermittently massaging your fingers into his scalp. It does kind of foam, and you take your time working it in, passing over every curl.

Frankie sighs, a low moan escaping his lips as you card your fingers through his hair trying to get all the tangles out. You feel the burn in your belly at the sound, but you focus on your task until you are satisfied, thoroughly rinsing his hair afterwards.

Since you’re already there, you lather up his neck and ears to his shoulders and down his back, scraping two weeks worth of mud and dirt off of his body, leaving the skin below pink from the friction. He turns and looks at you as you work, his eyes hooded and soft. 

“You don’t have to do that.” But he sighs and slightly preens under your attention.

“I know. But I am. And I’m going to ask you to do the same.” You continue working until his back is as clean as you can get, making sure his ears and neck are rinsed completely.

“Okay, your turn. C’mere.” 

You splash around him excitedly, moving to sit in front of him but he opens his thighs and pulls you backwards by the waist so you’re settled in between them, but without touching him at all. 

It feels like time has stopped while you wait for the first touch, the anticipation building and cresting until you almost beg him to start, and that’s the exact moment you feel the water wetting your hair, his hands threading in towards your scalp as much as it can. His fingers are thick and he presses them into your skin, rubbing and massaging as he works that yucca from root to tip. 

You can’t hear how you’re moaning and whimpering because it just feels that good, can’t feel the way your sounds are driving him crazy and he’s struggling not to harden on the water against your back, struggling to not draw the attention of the camera-man. 

He feels your hands dart out and grab each of his thighs and he stifles back a grunt, focusing on rinsing your hair and then working your neck, your shoulders and back just like you did for him, spending extra time tending to the knots and kinks he finds in the muscles. 

You get lost in it, not realizing your slumping back into him bit by bit until he leans forward and husks in your ear. “Need to rinse. Lean forward.”

“Oh…sorry.” You lean forward again, yanking your hands off his legs. You didn’t even realize you’d put them there.

“It’s okay.”  It's silent as he pours the water over your back, the remaining foamy dirt dripping off into the water. It should feel awkward to just be sitting, taking an intimate bath right in front of a production crew, but you’ve grown used to it by now. “All done.” You look back at him and thank him, but you don’t move to leave. He takes the opportunity to lean forward, resting his sharp chin on your shoulder. “Can I…can I hold you?”

There isn’t even a second before you respond. “Yes.”

His arms suddenly surround you, crossing over your arms to rest on your clavicle and the tops of your breasts as he leans you back against him. He had moved to lean against a rock while he washed your hair, and so you felt no guilt at fully melting back into him, scooting your butt back so you’re more comfortable. You can feel him, hard against the small of your back. 

You can feel the camera-men focusing on this moment and dread for when they ask about it in your daily one-on-one interview later, but you try to ignore it and feel this moment. Because in 4 days, it will be over, and you will both go home to separate places. You feel him press his soft cheek against your wet hair, inhaling and exhaling steadily at a soothing pace. “Frankie?” You whisper, low enough you hope the cameras won’t pick it up. He catches your cue, responding just as soft, not moving an inch.

“Hm.”

“What…what is this?”

“I don’t know.” He moves to release you but you minutely shake your head, so he re-wraps his arms around you lower than before so they are resting on the tops of your breasts. “Just feels good.”

You nod, your head tilting back to bump against him as you close your eyes and enjoy the late afternoon sun and the pleasant cool of the stream. Eventually your turn, rolling over so you’re resting on your hip, your legs over his thigh and your back and face curled against his chest. He rests his chin on the crown of your head, his arms winding around your waist. One hand slips below the water to rest on your other hip, thumb barely caressing the skin there. 

It’s the moment you think of the most.

-Day Seventeen-

“I don’t think this extraction is going to be achievable in only one day.” Frankie observes. His voice sounds weird. Disjointed. Shaky. You look down at the map lying on the ground between you. “Look. We’re gonna have to hike two miles all the way up here to this part of the river, then follow the river seven miles up til it meets the ocean, and a boat will meet us there.”

You point to a little raft icon. “They want us to build a raft then. I don’t think we will be able to carry a raft from here to there.”

“No. We’ll have to build it there. But we can do some of it tomorrow. Make that our day’s goal.”

You turn to poke at the fire, stirring it back to life from its early morning hibernation. It takes a bit for Frankie to get up, yesterday you pulled him up by your hands out of the stream and he’d played it off like it wasn’t a big deal. You remember how much it pissed you off when he questioned your body, so you said nothing. He knows his own body just as you knew yours.

You should have listened to your instincts. A confused “What the fuck?” is all you hear, and as you whip around you see Frankie’s eyes roll back into his head as he faints straight as a board backwards onto the ground, thumping his head, breath expelling from his lungs from the impact.

“Frankie!” You scramble to him, kneeling beside him as you cup his face. His eyes are closed and his chapped lips are slightly parted. He’s still breathing. “Hey…” You stroke his cheeks, your fingers scratching against the three week old beard he’s grown. “Frankie.” You pull his head into your lap, gently smacking his cheek. “Hey. Hey, come on. Come back to me. Please! Go get the medic!” You order the camera-man, and he gets up quickly to head towards the producer tent.

You exhale sharply, wiping your fingers on your thighs before gently pulling on his eyelid to open an eye. It snaps shut again and he groans, finally coming back to himself, his body awkwardly flailing a bit like he forgot how it works. When he opens his eyes again, you’re looking over him, the sun framing you like a halo. 

“Hi.”

He smiles weakly. “Hey.”

“Are you okay?”

“I think so. I just stood up and whited out, I dunno. Now I’m laying here.” 

“You fell.” 

The medics arrive and crowd around Frankie, you don’t want to intrude so you begin to back away, but he grabs your hand and holds it to his chest while they check on him. He starts feeling better within a few minutes, bouncing right back to his stubborn self as he shoos the medics away with assurances he’s fine. You walk with them back out of the camp.

“He has low blood pressure, but is okay. If it gets worse, we need to take him, okay?” You nod, turning to return to Frankie who is now sitting up. You smack him on his bent knee.

“You scared me, you asshole.”

“Sorry.”

You reach your hand out to him and he takes it, his other hand grabbing your other hand as you drag his massive body up. He stands still for a moment, eyes closed as he gains his bearings. “So fucking dizzy.”

“You okay?”

He releases your wrists and pats your arm. “Yea I’m good.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

-Day Eighteen-

He doesn’t look good. His skin is kind of yellowish and his cheeks look gaunt, he has purple bags under his eyes, and he’s blinking often, like his vision isn’t clear. He’s down, not as chatty as he usually is with you, and even though you’ve only spent two and a half weeks in his company, you can see he’s not himself. You’re also sore and fatigued, your feet are cut up and you’re constantly out of breath, but otherwise you feel okay. The almonds and cabbage and fruits you have been foraging for have sustained you pretty well, and you don’t feel like you’ve betrayed your beliefs.

Last night was scary. It was the first time you’d heard him seriously consider quitting. You’d held him close as he curled in on his stomach. “I can’t do it…”

“You can, I know you can. You told me the same thing, you got me through it, you can get you through it.” You don’t want him to quit, you can’t let him quit, not when he’s so close. You need to do it together. But you know he doesn’t have the strength to complete the challenge if you don’t do something. 

----

The next morning you try to check his traps but can’t find half of them, and end up turning back and perching yourself on one of the rocks in the stream. You trail your eyes up the tiny current, the little rocks sitting in the narrow passageways between large ones. There’s one that looks a little different, and you lean forward, peering closer at it.

It’s a frog. A big frog.

It’s right there, resting on top of another tiny rock with its eyes closed, completely unaware of your presence. You turn to the camera-man. “I…I don’t know what to do.” You bite your lip, looking back over to where Frankie is still lying on his back in front of the shelter. His sternum is jutting out in a haunting way, the stomach flesh below it concaving in. His hip bones are sticking out. 

You’ve never killed an animal in your entire life.

You grab the frog.

----

“Frankie!”

He hears you, but barely has the energy to get up, so he tilts his head in your direction. “Yea?” You stride up to him, reaching into your bag for the frog. He perks up, the excitement giving him the boost to sit up fully. “What’d you get?” 

You pull out the frog and he uses everything in him to push himself up out of the sand. You press the animal into his palms. “Here. I brought this back for you.” He jerks his eyes up to meet yours, they dart back and forth between them like he thinks you might be joking. His mouth parts and he blinks rapidly, looking back down at the animal before he starts to tear up. “This…is a lot of protein for me.”

“Yea.”

“Thank you so much, this is…this is so amazing! I really appreciate this.”

You nod once, turning and walking away towards the pool. Frankie pads over to the fire and eases himself down, grabbing a piece of bamboo to lay the frog on to process. He pauses, looking up to see where you went, his chest pinching when he sees you resting in the water, your head buried in your arms on a rock.

“I can’t believe she did that.” He says to the camera-man. “She picked that up and knew she was the difference between death and life and she chose to give it to me. I know that was hard for her.” He looks up again, watching you sit with your decision in the stream. This was…he couldn’t even say it. “I’m…feeling really emotional right now. I’m never gonna forget this.”

When the animal is cooked he eats every single piece, not willing to waste any of that protein. It was the best tasting thing he’d ever eaten in his life, and it tasted that much better because you got it for him. You. The woman that was thrown into his life and challenged everything he thought he knew. The woman that was changing him for the better. The woman he didn’t want to let go.

-Day Nineteen-

The two of you get up early and set to work, breaking down your shelter to re-use the materials. You make new water canteens with long handles, creating paddles for the raft with a large branch crossed at the end with four short bamboo shafts. You bind together strong cordage and lashings to build the raft, and more for securing it to the shore when you inevitably have to make landfall when it gets dark tomorrow night. 

You spent the night beneath the stars, Frankie’s arm your pillow as you looked at the clearest sky you’d ever seen. The weather was perfect and mild, the buzz of the mosquitos was low and the monkeys were at rest like they knew it was your last night in this location.

You turn your head to look at Frankie, but he’s already looking at you. You hold eye contact with him even though it hurts, it physically hurts looking at him because you know it’s all ending and you can’t believe how much you’ve grown to care for this person in such a short amount of time. 

“Frankie…”

“No.” He turns toward you, dragging you in by your waist and the arm you’re resting on, your face falling into the little nook between his neck and shoulder, and you just know what he means. No, I don’t want to talk about it right now. No, we need to focus on tomorrow’s journey. No, I actually can’t deal with this, because the thought of leaving you makes me just want to stay here. No, it’s not just you.

You hold him back in return, your hand splaying against his broad back, grown bonier from lack of food. You try not to sleep, to take in every moment so you can remember it, but your body decides for you and eventually, you pass out in his arms.

-Day Twenty-

The next day you get up early again, putting out your fire and gathering up your items and raft materials. It’s hot and humid and you’re not excited for this trek. You sling on your cordage and bamboo water jugs, picking up the walking sticks you’d made and head into the jungle. Frankie is ahead of you, and you’re glad for it so you can keep an eye on him. You know if he feels weak, he won’t say anything about it.

Frankie’s feet HURT. It’s almost unbearable and he winces every time he steps, the pressure of his own body on his ankles too much. He stumbles constantly, but every time you ask him if he wants to stop he refutes it. “I just wanna get there. I can rest once I’m there.”

You finally reach the area you need to be to construct the raft, and use the little energy you have to chop down the bamboo to construct it with the remaining hours you have left. You have to pause and catch your breath after almost every chop. How the fuck are you going to paddle eight miles after this?

You cut about 25 long shoots, and 12 more shorter ones for benches, kneeling down and tying them all together as tight as possible in as little time as you can. When you’re satisfied, you drag it into the water and settle yourselves on it, you in the front, Frankie controlling the back.

The going is slow and you also have to keep an eye out for caiman, your arms are burning but you need to get as far as you can. You don’t even stop when it thunders over you, rain drops pouring down as you methodically paddle onwards.

When you can’t even see nor paddle any longer, Frankie uses his larger paddle to steer you towards shore. You have no idea if you’ve chosen a good spot but you can’t see enough to find anything better, so you heave the raft up the bank as much as you can and lash it to the nearest tree before finally collapsing into the sand beneath you. You pass out in Frankie’s arms immediately as he takes first watch, occasionally throwing rocks at you don’t even want to know in the water. He wakes you up several hours later so you can switch.

-Day Twenty-One-

You had a hard time getting up. You’d told him limbs felt like lead and you were so sore you wanted to cry, but you both knew you had to get up. You were almost there. With Frankie’s support you get up at first light and hop back onto the raft, both thankful that at least you only had two or three more miles to go. It’s incredibly quiet, the desire to just be done with this the only thing pushing you forward as you zone out and just paddle. And paddle. And paddle more. 

Frankie calls your name and you twist your neck to look at him. He points at the sky. “Look.” You look forward and up at the most beautiful sunrise cresting over the horizon. You hadn’t even noticed it. Pink fading into yellow and a warm glow atop the water, Frankie focuses on it and continues on, passing small mountains and more jungle on your way to the Caribbean Sea.

Finally you turn a corner and there it is, the river widening out and opening into the open ocean. A surge of energy from nowhere speeds him up, paddling as fast as he can until his arms are screaming in pain with the effort. When you get close enough to the bank, he hops out and pushes you onto shore. You hop off into the sand and help pull the raft onto it before turning around to the cresting waves. 

“Look!” You cry out, pointing towards the tiniest boat beyond the waves. But it didn’t come closer, and your stomach drops when you realize you have to get through them to get there. 

Frankie looks at you and takes your hand before saying “lets do this”, and the two of you run with as much speed as you can and dive into the waves. The waves are rough and he realizes why the boat couldn’t come closer as they batter into you, he swears he doesn’t have enough energy left but he fights, scrambling to stay above the surf.

He constantly makes sure you are beside him, your face pulled into a grimace as you struggle not to be pulled under, but the current is so strong it’s pulling both of you too far to the left and away from the boat. You can hear the boat trying to reach you but the chopping waves are determined to remain a barrier between you. 

“Stay with each other!” They continue to yell at you as you dive under one more wave before finally getting beyond the surf, and Frankie bolts towards it, his body screaming at him. He reaches the boat first, arms shooting out as he grabs the edge and heaves himself over with a growl, tumbling onto his back as he tries to catch his breath.

You aren’t right behind him. He sits up abruptly and looks for you, his eyes darting all over the choppy surface of the water. He can’t see your head and he panics but then you pop up, a final errant wave must have caught you and pushed you back into the surf. You get past it once more and stall, your body simply refusing to function anymore. Your leg cramps and you feel yourself dipping under, and you tip your head back to stay above water. You got beyond the waves but you barely have the energy to swim the rest of the way.

She can’t make it. Frankie realizes you’ve finally hit the wall as he had days ago, and he doesn’t question his choice for a second. He jumps in the water to go get you, despite his own exhaustion, despite the fact that he might not be able to make it back either. You’re trying to make your way but it’s slow, and he knows there’s a chance you might just shut down or get swept away. You could die.

You try to call for him when you see him, and the panic in your voice taps into every ounce of energy he has left, reaching for that frog protein you gave him as he reaches you and grabs your wrist, his breaths heaving as he swims back with you to the side of the boat, the choppiness of the water throwing you against the metal with a bang.

You hang on to the edge as Frankie heaves himself up first, almost face planting into the bottom before turning around immediately to help the boatmen get you up. The side of the boat is higher than you have the energy to get over and you look absolutely exhausted. He grabs you by the upper arm and pulls you up, your other hand pushing against the rim to lift yourself up as far as you can. He wraps his arms around your hips and pulls, getting you the rest of the way over. You land backwards onto a bench and into his arms, crying as you feel him touching you all over to make sure you were okay. Just him, and safety, and him, rubbing your thigh, gripping your arm, pulling you into his warmth by the waist, pushing the wet hair from your face, a hand cupping your cold wet cheek and brushing tears and water and sand off them.  

He lets out a sob of relief, the salt helping him tear up as he cries into your hair, eventually sitting upright so the boat could start moving. “We’re in. We did it.”

You burst into laughter amongst your tears and you turn to him with the most beautiful and dirty smile he’s ever seen as you reach for him, hugging him to you as the boat heads off into the horizon.

----

When you land, you’re greeted with a gigantic table of goodies and water, and you and Frankie whoop as you race towards it, grabbing pizza, bread, baked goods, and even some vegan sweets for you. You sit around the table with the producers, medics, and camera-men, laughing and talking into the late afternoon.

After that it was check ups and weigh ins before you were finally each released to your own hotel room. You hop immediately into the shower, and stay in there for at least an hour scrubbing your body and scalp raw.

-Day Twenty-Two-

Both of you are on a three day medical hold to make sure you’re okay to go home with no bacteria or diseases. You sleep the entire next day, get in touch with whoever you need to, ordering room service straight to you so you can just lay down and not move.

You think about Frankie and where you stand, if it would be weird to go to him, if he would even want that. It was entirely possible it could just be done now, the comfort found in another person from necessity. Ultimately, you were strangers. And you would go your separate ways.

----

Once he woke up, he thought about you all day. He didn’t know what to do, what to expect now, but it was telling that you weren’t contacting him at all. For a little while he had really convinced himself that this actually was something, but now completely out of the situation, the idea was ridiculous. He was old enough to be your fucking father, he’s stubborn and annoying and you were completely different. He isn’t what you would choose.

He couldn’t sleep that second night, tossing and turning with thoughts of you screaming in his head. The way you held him when you slept when it wasn’t even cold out. Sometimes he felt your fingers gently stroking his skin. How you took care of him when he fell. When you gave him the frog. The sound of you crying out to him in the ocean and the way you clung to him when he got you up onto the boat. He thought about you coming out of that river like the fucking Birth of Venus, how it felt when he had you beneath his fingertips, his cock nudging against your ass. That one time you tried to teach him basic yoga and he collapsed into the sand, your laugh filling the air. How you always wanted to hold his hand when you slept.

No. There’s no fucking way. There’s no way this was platonic. There’s no way this was simply convenience.

He tosses the blankets off himself, throwing a hotel robe over his tee and boxers and all but rips the door open as he marches down the hallway to your door. He reaches up to knock but stalls, backpedaling on his thoughts and he is about to turn around and walk away when the door yanks open and you almost collide straight into him. 

You stare at each other, his hand still raised in a fist for the door that’s no longer in the way.

It only takes three seconds.

Your lips crash together and your upper limbs flail around as they find a part of each other to grasp. His hands land on your cheek and you suddenly realize his hand is the size of your entire face and how did that escape your notice ?!?!?! but then the other hand lands on your waist and he pushes you against the wall. He pulls away just enough to look in your eyes, his hooked nose bumping against yours.

You meet his lips again, softly, a small whimper sounding in the back of your throat and it drives him absolutely insane. He picks up speed, his lips nipping at yours as he kisses you again and again until you’re panting in between them, and he takes that opportunity to tilt his head and thrust his tongue into your mouth, moaning when it meets yours.

Your arm shoots out blindly to your left, struggling to find the door and when you find it you slap it closed with a bang, throwing your arms back around his neck as you explore his mouth in return. You bite his bottom lip and he groans, bending to pick you up under the thighs and carry you to the bed. You don’t stop kissing him on the way, and when you’ve reached the bed you uncross your legs from behind his back and let him toss you onto it.

You’re leaning back on your elbows looking up at him, your legs hanging off the bed and the tie of your own robe curled on the comforter. He picks it up and pulls it open, his hands moving under the lapels to part them, allowing you to shrug out of it. A little white tank top and some boxer shorts had never looked so good. He stands there staring at you, taking you in. Clean, soft, but covered in all the places he was used to seeing all the time. 

You swallow. “Ummm, I forgot to bring clothes for after…production bought me some undershirts and boxers…”

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you.” He rasps, his eyes trailing from your beautiful eyes to your lips, your heaving chest and the hint of your tits he can see through the fabric.

“Me too.”

He doesn’t know where to look, so overwhelmed from having you around him 24/7 but not actually being able to have you. You sit up, untying his own robe as he watches. You look up at him, sliding your fingers underneath the hem of his tee to touch the skin on his tummy, eventually pushing the shirt up enough to lean forwards and plant little kisses and licks there. He shivers, a small moan escaping his lips as you move back down, stroking his thighs and bony hips until you’re gripping the waistband tentatively. You look up at him again, you look so pretty from this angle and he desperately wants to see what you’d look like with his cock in your mouth.

“Please touch me. Don’t make me beg, baby.”

You smile, pressing another kiss on his happy trail as you reach to cup him, his cock twitching and hardening further under your palm. His mouth drops open as he watches you, your tiny hands palming him, thumb circling the tip of his cock until he can feel the pre-cum seeping into the cotton. You lick your lips, your face hovering right where he wants it and he whines above you. “What do you want?”

“Don’t care. Just want you. I’m yours if you want me, do whatever you want.”

You peel off his boxers, his massive cock bouncing out and the only thing that’s on your mind is how much you want to kiss it. You take him in your hand, so thick your hand almost doesn’t make it around  as you lean forward and lap the pre-cum dripping from his fat cock head.

The noises he makes are sinful and you can feel wetness gathering between your thighs from them alone. You open your mouth and take him, he’s so big you can only get a third of it in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his shaft as his hands shoot to the back of your head. Not pushing, simply resting there as you work him. You pop off him and catch your breath, looking up at his beautiful face pinched in pleasure. “You’re so fucking big.”

“Oh fuck…” He sighs, and you wrap your lips around him again, corkscrewing your hand on the parts you can’t reach. He flinches, his hips jerking forward as he accidentally thrusts into your throat but you grab him by the ass to keep him there, allowing him to gently fuck your throat. 

When he pulls out, cum and saliva is dripping from your lips and he curses, throwing off the robe and ripping his tee off. “Lay back on the bed.” You do eagerly and he chases you, hovering over you as you pull your tank top up and over your head, throwing it on the ground. He immediately drops to your breasts, squeezing and stroking them, pinching and kissing and nibbling your nipples until you’re squirming under him.

“Frankie…please fuck me.”

He sits up on his knees and pulls off your boxers and underwear, all but drooling over your pubic mound before taking you by the thighs and throwing them over his shoulders. You don’t know what you were expecting but it wasn’t him diving right in, his fingers spreading you wide and the flat of his tongue lathing against your folds, collecting your wetness with a hum. He takes his time, paying attention to every square inch of you before sliding up and suckling at your clit, his fingers gently circling your entrance before one gently pushes in. 

You keen, your back arching in a U over the bed as he works you open, sucking at you and thrusting into you with increasing speed. When more slick comes rushing out to meet his hand, he pushes in a second finger, then a third, pumping them and curling them inside of you as you cry above him. 

“Frankie.” You gasp, a hand reaching out and gripping his hair, pulling on it to get him back up to you. “Please fuck me. I want you so bad.” 

He lifts his head to meet your eyes, his nose and chin covered in your pre-cum. “I want to baby, but I gotta get you ready for me. You’re so fucking tight. So fucking sweet.” He bends back down, pushing a fourth finger in and the stretch burns with pain and pleasure at the same time. He finger fucks you, your cries egging him on as they pitch higher, and it’s like he knows you so well that he knows just when to take your clit back into his mouth and suck hard.

You scream his name, your thighs involuntarily squeezing his head but he loves it, moaning as he takes everything you give him until you’re whimpering and trembling beneath him. When you catch your breath he’s on his knees over you, his cock flushed and pink and pointing towards the ceiling. You reach for him and he crawls to you, as he gets closer you see he has a few little grays in his pubic hair and for some reason it drives you crazy. You yank him to you, opening your thighs and he settles between your legs, kissing you tenderly while he notches himself at your entrance.

“Fuck baby, I can’t wait. I can’t.” He pushes in and you cry out, he’s so fucking big and your lips spread wide to accommodate him as he pushes forward slowly, determined to be fully inside you.

He’s only halfway in when you halt him, your hands gripping his biceps. “I can’t…”

“You can. I know you can. You will.” He reaches down to gently thumb at your clit, and when you release more fluid he pushes the rest of the way in, moaning as he becomes fully seated.

“Oh my god, oh fuck!” It feels like he’s splitting you to the brink, you’re just so full of him. You didn’t know you could scream so loud when he pulls back and pushes back in, but you don’t want him to stop. He’s so gentle with you, murmuring praise in your ear and  stroking your face and your shoulders as you struggle to accommodate him, you can feel how much he’s holding back and how much he wants you. His hip bones stick out too far and jut into yours, and his back feels bony under your hands as you encourage him to speed up.

“I don’t wanna hurt you.” 

“It’s good…please fuck, I’m good, just fuck me.”

“Jesus Christ you’re so fucking sexy.” He groans as he lurches forward, his hips rolling against yours as he fucks into you. “So fucking sexy when you yell at me and tell me I’m being stupid…” 

You can’t even speak, he can tell he’s incapacitating you completely and all you can do is take him, the lack of energy you still have allowing him to take control and push you open, leaning back and pulling your hips up to meet him as he starts thrusting deeper into you. He pushes your thighs up and pulls all the way out, his cock red and shining with your cum, then stuffs himself all the way back in. You wail out every time his hips meet with yours. 

“Oh yea, scream for me baby. Wanted to do this when you were rubbing your pretty little ass against me in your sleep, fuck you right in the dirt for the whole jungle to hear, but this hotel will have to do.”

He punctuates that with a rough press of his hips, watching your eyebrows tilt and your mouth hang open in silent moans as he keeps pulling his huge dick all the way out and slamming it all the way back in. “So fucking frustrating.” He growls. “Don’t fucking listen, fight with me on everything, now look at you. Not talkin’ now.”

The room is filled with the slapping of skin, the squelching of your wet cunt taking him, your sobs and cries, his erotic grunts and moans. “Fuck you so good you can’t talk, yea? Tell me.”

“Yes! Fuck!”

“I like you talkin’ though. Like you defying me, like you yelling at me, bein’ a little brat. Fucking love it. Oh...shit. Knew you’d look so pretty stretched around my cock. I can barely fit in you. But you’re gonna take me.”

“Uh huh.”

“Oh shit…oh fuck..oh shit…fuck…I like you so much, I like you so fucking much.” He presses his forehead to yours, you can feel his sweat against your skin. That familiar scent of him, the musk and tang oh his sweat making you want him closer, need him closer.

“Frankie…I like you so much.”

He kisses you sloppily, sighing as he pulls away and sucks on your ear. “I’m.--I’m old enough to be your father–”

“I don’t care!” You gasp, wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him deeper, clenching your walls around him. “I like it, I like it so fucking much. You’re so fucking stubborn and—oh, Frankie I’m gonna cum.”

“Come on sweetheart, give it to me.” He presses his thumb to your clit, swiping side to side to reach the entire bud as you tense below him, your coil building with each thrust of his massive cock deep in you and his calloused finger pad rubbing your clit, the scrape of his graying beard against your cheek. “Yea, yea, yea, give it to me. Want your little pussy to cum all over my cock.”

It’s so much, the overstimulation of sounds and words and touch and smell overwhelms you until you’re spasming under him, cumming with a high pitched wail as he speeds up, cooing in your ear.  You cum so much the sound of him entering you sounds like splashing into the stream water. He puts a hand over your mouth. “Listen. Want you to listen to how wet you are for me. Listen while I cum.”

He pulls back and looks at you, your face completely wrecked and fucked out, your tits bouncing under him, the slap of his balls on your ass and snarls as he pulls out, stroking his cock briskly until he cums a giant load on your stomach and tits. 

“Holy shit.” He’s panting hard and he falls forward a bit, landing on a hand before rolling to the side of you and flopping on his back. He’s clean and fed, but his energy level still clearly needs time to recover. He looks at you, you’re lying against the pillow with your eyes closed and a smile on your face and he remembers his manners.

“Be right back.”

“Okay…”

He heaves himself up, taking a moment to gain his bearings before moving to the bathroom and coming back with a wet cloth, gently wiping his cum from your body before tossing it on the floor and sliding back into bed. He opens his arms hoping, and you meet him, nestling himself against his side, your fingers trailing his happy trail.

“This is nice.” He murmurs.

You hum, then look up at him with worry in your eyes. “Can…will you stay with me? Tonight?”

He looks deep into your eyes and senses fear in them, they’re a little watery and slightly panicked looking. It makes him feel afraid too, but he doesn’t know why. “Of course I will sweetheart. I’ll stay until you kick me out.”

“Okay.” You bury yourself into the warmth of his chest and he turns towards you, holding you just as he did in the wild. He preferred it this way though.

-Day Twenty-Three-

Waking up in the morning safe and warm and tangled in your body was even better. It was late morning and your ass was pressed against his dick again, making him harden almost immediately.

“Doing it to me again, are you?” He rasps, and you quietly giggle and wriggle your more against him. His hand moves from your stomach to your breast, cupping it and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll fuck you right here if you don’t stop. Just like this.”

You don’t, and he bites at your shoulder before grabbing your ass and scooting your backside up more, allowing him to press his cock against your slit. You whine softly, tilting your hips forward and back so the thick length of him slides back and forth between your wet lips. “Sweetheart, need to get you ready.” He groans again as he passes back over your hole, dipping in a little with the tip of his cock. “Gotta help you take me.”

You whine again, speeding up your movements. “No…just wannit.”

He bites his lip. “MMmmmmm yea? You want this cock? Want it to fill you up?

“Yessssss.”

He chuckles darkly, grabbing himself and slapping his cock against your pussy a few times before lifting one of your ass cheeks and pushing in, allowing him to see more from the angle. It’s a struggle because he didn’t work you, and he has to get a little rough to stuff himself in you as you squirm and babble nonsense against him.

It feels like he goes on forever, and he releases a guttural grown once he’s flush with your ass. You’re panting from the stretch and he is obsessed with the sounds of your body trying to accommodate him, wants to give you what you asked for so he starts moving, his hips slapping against your ass as he pounds into you, the headboard of the bed slamming into the wall.

“Oh my…oh fuck…oh shit oh shit fuck you’re so fucking big I—” You scream on one particular hard thrust, reaching back to grab the massive hand yanking you back and forth onto his cock, trying to stabilize yourself.

“Yea, you like that? SO fucking sexy, god you’re so fucking young.” He moans, slowing down so he doesn’t cum too fast. His hand leaves your hip and you arch your back to impale yourself as he takes you by the chin, bending you enough so he can whisper in your ear. “Would you have fucked me if you were home, pretty young thing?”

“Not–not if you opened your mouth.”

“Oh god I love your bratty fucking mouth.” Frankie grunts, and he teases your lips with his fingers. You open for him immediately, and he thrusts two fingers into your mouth to suck on. You nibble on them, licking and sucking as he whines, picking up his pace again as he all but splits you open. 

“Want you to touch yourself. Want to feel you cum again, squeeze me so tight. Touch your little clit and come with me stuffed in you.”

You don’t need him to demand twice, you can feel his hand on your jaw gripping a little too tight as his body tenses behind you, you know he’s about to cum and you want to make him, make him cum again so maybe you can remember what it feels like when you’re back home and all of this is over. You rub yourself frantically, moans pitching higher as he starts stuttering. 

“M’gonna cum baby, I’m sorry, gotta fuckin’ cum.” He withdraws and you almost scream at him in frustration, but before he can ejaculate you push on his chest and grab the base of his big cock, squeezing in the hope you can edge him. You’re not ready for it to end. He throws his head back and curses. “God, fuck! Always gotta have it your way.”

“Yes.” And you swing your leg over him, reaching back to line him up and sinking all the way onto his cock, immediately setting a rolling pace, grinding your aching clit against his thick mass of pubic hair. He’s finally quiet, his mouth gaping open and his forehead all scrunched, the cords of his neck covered in that salt and pepper beard bulging as he tries to hold out, but you don’t need long. You buck your hips five or six more times before you break, squeezing him to hell as you gush around him. 

“Baby you gotta get off, gotta get off I’m gonna cum.”

“No. I want you inside me.” You push yourself down on him, clinging to his chest like a spider monkey and he curses once more, wrapping his arms around your back and thrusting up a few more times until he comes with a shout, the hot ropes of cum filling you up and making the end of your climax warm and tingling.

When he catches his breath, he tilts your chin up with one finger. “Sweetie, what did—”

“I just wanted you to stay with me.” You slide off him, sitting on the backs of your calves, squeezing your thighs in the hope he won’t drip out of you.

He sits up, his brow furrowed in confusion. “I am staying with you, what do you mean?”

“We’re leaving tomorrow. For home.”

“I know...”

“So, what do you think is going to happen?”

He looks down, panic rising in his chest as he realizes what you’re about to say. “No. We can do this, I–I can come visit you and you can come see me and—”

“I don’t want a long-distance relationship Frankie. It never works.”

“Move in with me, just come live with me then.”

“Frankie, I have a job and a life too. Why don’t you move to me?”

He realizes then it’s a stalemate and you’re right. There’s simply no way this could work. You’re too far away, not just where you live but in your lives, in your goals, your beliefs, even down to what you eat. You’re completely different.

“Fuck.”

You nod slightly, following an imaginary pattern on the sheet with your finger. “Yea.”

“Can you at least be with me until you have to leave?”

“Yea. I’d really like that.”

-Six Months Later-

t’s a full house at Frankie’s as his friends and family come for the premiere of his episode. He’s nervous, not sure what it would feel like to see you again, even from the TV. 

You’d stayed in touch for a bit, but eventually it became too hard on you and you stopped reaching out. He stepped back, even though it fucking hurt more than anything in the challenge to let you go. But you were right, again. The distance was too much, it never would have worked, so he resigned himself to watching you from afar. Watching you succeed, maybe fall in love with someone else. Get married. And he’d be alone. He didn’t want anyone else. Unrequited love isn’t as romantic as you think it would be.

He gets through the episode well considering. His friends pepper him with questions on how “close” you were, his mom smiling at him knowingly, but he jokes it off and insists, “She’s just a friend. Nah, she’s just my close friend.” Even when you snuggled together. When you talked in the night under the diary cams. When he covered you with his body when you were hypothermic. When you washed each other and snuggled afterwards. 

He could blow them off. Until the end of the episode, when he finally got to see the closing interviews.

(Frankie): I would never have made it through this without her. She's just as strong as me. Stronger, actually. She taught me to respect every life, think about every choice I make, to think about the man I want to be. The man I wanna be for her.

Everyone turned and looked at him and he sighed, looking back up when it was your turn. You looked so fucking beautiful, even caked in mud and dirt. It’s how you looked when he fell for you.

(You): The person I first met is not who is beside me now. I definitely did not have a good first impression of Frankie when we started. But…I was able to trust him, and it makes me so happy that I was able to teach this stubborn man some things. *you laugh* He’s become really important to me…and… *you choke up, tears sliding down your face* ummm…I don’t want him to leave. I don’t wanna leave him. 

(Producer): Do you love him?

(You): Yea, I do.

The room is so quiet the final assessments seem blaringly loud, his mind scrambling as he processes what you just said on the air. For thousands of people to see.

(Narrator): Frankie lost a total of 30 pounds. Despite his stubborn attitude and the difficulty securing protein, putting his trust in his partner and his perseverance to push through the pain got him and his partner to the end. His Primitive Survival Rating raises from 7.1 to 7.6.

(You) lost 15 pounds. Despite a vegetarian diet, you excelled, gaining numerous skills and proving you are able to make the tough decisions needed to get your   partner through the challenge. Your PSR raises from 6.5 to 7.6.

He loved you. And you loved him.

But you still left.

[mccnstruck]

you make me feel alive

characters - kaeya x gn!reader

warnings - mentions of cursing

a/n - ok so that milk carton section,,,, was kind of inspired,,,, because i dropped a milk carton and it literally fucking exploded it was so funny BUT ALWAYS OWN UP TO YOUR MISTAKES unlike me

while dating kaeya, he is the definition of a guy best friend. it’s to the point you get shocked when he kisses you, but you realize that he’s allowed to kiss you whenever he wants. one moment, he could press his lips in the inside of your palm, but once you start talking about the rude woman when you both were grocery shopping….oh boy.

kaeya scoffed. “she could’ve walked herself out, but no.” kaeya rolled his eyes as his head dropped to your lap. “she decided to have the AUDACITY to start yelling at the poor employee. i swear, i would’ve bitch-slapped her.”

you couldn’t help yourself but to snicker at his story. both you and kaeya were heading to bed, with him sitting down next to you. “kaeya, that was two weeks ago.”

he mocked a hurt expression, as his hand landed on his heart. “excuse me? she still pisses me off, so who else am i going to tell?”

you dramatically sighed, and ran your hands over his bangs. “of course, because you don’t have anyone else to share the story of the evil lady in the grocery store.”

a minute of silence passed.

“kaeya, you’re staring.”

“well, why wouldn’t i stare at the sight of you?”

your face suddenly felt as if you dipped it into the depths of a volcano. you pretended to look at something to your side, but kaeya snickered, clearly aware of your burning face. he raised his hand to cup your jaw, and tilted it to force you to look at him.

“hello, lovely.”

“…hi.”

he stared at you, the blues in his eyes memorizing your face. all of your so called “flaws”, he imprinted to his mind to kiss you in those same spots again.

“kaeya…what are you thinking?”

“how kissable you look.”

you scoffed and pushed him off the bed, smiling when you heard the thud and “ow!” that came after. he got up, rubbing his head.

“what the hell was that for?”

“nothing….suddenly, i want ice cream.” you smile innocently, and kaeya deadpanned.

“of course, the emperor of the house wants ice cream now.” he grabbed your hand and started his way to the kitchen. “let us eat ice cream in the middle of a night on a workday.”

on that note, he loves shopping with you. whether its clothes, food, or an emergency trip to go buy eggs, you just need to give him a minute before he walks out the door with the keys in his hand.

when kaeya suggested to go grocery shopping, you agreed quite easily. you needed a few items this week, and both of you were free. this could be a nice time to relax from the hectic week, you thought.

you were wrong.

kaeya looked down, horror etched on his face. “oh my god.”

“kaeya, what the hell did you- oh my god.”

both of you stared at the carton in the store freezer, milk everywhere on the cardboard.

“what the actual hell?? kaeya, can you not pick up a carton normally?”

he raised his hands in innocence. “it slipped because it was so cold! it’s not my fault!”

you looked at him and sneered. “no yea, the devil came out of hell and made you drop it.”

you looked up and saw a employee walking toward your side of the aisle.

“kaeya, we have to go.”

“what?! what do we do about this?”

“oh my god, just take two damn cartons!”

kaeya reached over the spilled milk and grabbed two cartons from the back. you quickly grabbed them and put it in your cart, the employee walking closer. you both sprinted off with the cart and two unharmed milk cartons, and never looked back.

reaching the check-out station, a burst of laughter came from kaeya, and you couldn’t help but join in, the adrenaline in your body slowly lowering.

“kaeya, i don’t think i can trust you with a milk carton again.”

“i wouldn’t trust myself either.”

he looked over to you, and smiled. if he was going to run from a “crime scene” who was better for the job than you?

when you looked back at the mischievous glint in his eyes, a thought ran in your mind.

i hope the employee who looked at the milk section wasn’t too mad at us.

one thing you both find comfort in was late night drives around the city, having different meanings with every trip. one day, you could be celebrating an anniversary while blasting music, but you also could be sitting in silence, finding comfort in the skyscrapers and the lights.

the surging headache was not helping your mood tonight. work was barely productive today, and honestly you couldn’t give a shit about the deadlines.

you opened the door to find the kitchen lights on, and kaeya handling the stove.

“hey, i made some pasta. are you hungry, or do you want to…long day?”

you nodded and rubbed the temple of your head. “yea, a bit tired.”

kaeya looked down in thought, before he walked away to the bedroom. you looked over to the stove to find one of the most delicious looking pasta you think you’ve seen.

you walked over to grab a fork and almost took a bite, until you heard keys dangling and footsteps come closer.

“going on to eat without me?” you turn around to see kaeya grab a plastic container and poured the pasta inside. “c’mon, we’re going for a drive.”

he held your hand, and walked to the driveway. reaching the car, he opened the door and gestured for you to enter.

“for you, sweetheart,” before winking. you softly laughed, before entering the car and taking your pasta. he walked to his side, opened the door, and started the car. within minutes, both of you drove away and into the city. and you couldn’t have asked for a greater moment than having the wind lull you in, pasta to warm your heart, and to be loved by someone you thought you would’ve never deserved.

reposting or plagiarizing of my works is not allowed under any circumstances.

[blackacre13]

Hiii, can you do one where Lou's overwhelmed with work and Deb tries to talk to her abt it but then she snapped, leaves her for several hours making the other one worried and kinda hurt. Then she comes back home with flowers and gifts feeling guilty with her attitude, soft smut afterwards(?) thankss

x.

There was a light tapping on the door and Lou looked up through messy fringe with an exasperated sigh. If April had the audacity to bring her the wrong numbers again she swore…

“Baby?” A soft voice murmured instead, an undeniable Debbie Ocean choice of heels making their way into the room, toe first after nudging the door open. The brunette’s head peeking around the door.

Lou’s sigh stilled in her throat. She would always rather see Debbie than anyone else. But at the same time, it only reminded her of her growing pile of responsibilities, a lack of follow through from everyone she had asked for assistance or delegated a task to, and if Debbie was showing up then that meant…

“You missed dinner,” Debbie smiled sadly, closing the door behind her.

A large takeout bag landed on top of the blonde’s current stack of paperwork with a thud. She couldn’t help the grimace that ghosted across her face. The last thing she needed was the grease from spicy egg rolls on tax forms and liquor licenses.

“I thought I’d bring dinner to you,” the brunette grinned, dragging a chair up to the other side of Lou’s desk before she moved to shimmy off her coat. Her hands were already on the paper bag, undoing the staples. “And pending how much work is left to be done, maybe a little bit of dessert. Here? Or at home?”

“Debs,” Lou sighed, frustrating dripping out of her mouth before she could stop it. It was sweet. Really. It was. Romantic, even. And she bet she could guess every last item in that bag down to the extra pair of chopsticks in there because she always managed to pick them apart into the world’s weakest kindle when she was stressed. And Debbie knew that.

She could have said thank you. Or said exactly what she was thinking. But her jaw was unhinging without her say and she was spitting venom at her partner, her own words unclear to herself. Just the occasional bites of “damnit” and “out of time” and “in the way”. And all she could see was the hurt in Debbie’s eyes and her clenched jaw to keep from letting her from lip quivering as she nodded, backing up slowly.

“Yeah..you’re right…I’ll just—“ but Debbie didn’t finish the sentence before she back treaded out of the office. And even though Lou didn’t actually catch it, she knew her fiancée was shedding a rare Debbie Ocean tear.

She had fucked up. Majorly.

She growled at the bag of Chinese food and cursed at herself. “This is your fault, Miller.”

The door burst open and April stumbled in, shoving several file folders at her, looking like she was about to vomit.

“I’m sorry. They all look the same and I didn’t want to bring you the wrong ones again and I—“

“Don’t.”

“Please don’t fire me,” April squeaked.

“Fire you?” Lou raise a brow, chuckling dryly. “You look how I feel, kid. Breathe. Help yourself to a drink. And then go the hell home. We’ve done enough tonight. It’s nothing that can’t be done tomorrow. There are more important things.”

“But I thought you said we had to—“

“April,” Lou smiled. “Go. It’s fine. Promise. Send everyone else too. I’m headed out in a bit.”

“You okay, boss?”

“I will be,” Lou sucked in a breath. “Just have some crow to eat.”

“Is that what’s in the bag?” The younger woman smirked.

“That’s your dinner,” Lou grinned, chucking it at her. “Go home. Eat. Go the fuck to sleep. Your boss is an asshole. Now that’s an order.”

“You got it,” April grinned with a laugh. “Make sure you actually get home tonight.”

“I will,” Lou promised. “I just have a list of I’m an asshole but I love you errands to run before I beg for the love of my life’s forgiveness for simply being an amazing woman.”

“Isn’t that usually more a Debbie task?”

“We alternate,” Lou winked.

[negansbackdoorwhore]

I’ll Always Take Care of You

Summary: You landed in the hospital and Negan is freaking out

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff

The last thing you remembered was having a simple cold and trying your best at work but then everything went black. You couldn’t remember anything except seeing bright lights and feeling cords on your body. Then hearing someone’s voice.

“She’ll be okay Mr. Smith, we just need to keep here a few days.”

“A few days! That doesn’t sound fucking fine doc.”

You groaned and try to sit up but everything feels sore. Your chest feels especially heavy like you can’t breathe. Negan’s attention switches to you immediately after hearing you move and sits at your feet.

“Y/N! You’re awake.”

“What happened?”

“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll check on other patients to give you privacy.”

The doctor stepped out and shut the door. Negan was squeezing your hand tightly and looked so distraught.

“Your coworker called and said you fainted. I panicked even more when they said you weren’t responding, so we immediately got you here. I was fucking scared but they say it’s just pneumonia. You’ll have to be hooked on this oxygen for a bit.”

Your head felt fuzzy and you stared at walls, it almost felt like a dream.

“You okay? They said they’ll be serving dinner in a half an hour. I can go get you a quick snack or maybe you’d want some water?”

“Negan it’s okay.”

“I’ll go get you some water.”

Negan left before you could stop him and you were left resting on the bed. You felt like shit and looked at all the cords connected to you as if you were a machine. You groaned as you looked at the IV full of liquids. Trying to distract yourself you looked for the remote and switched on the TV. As the program played you heard the door open and laughed lightly seeing Negan carrying various items.

“I got you snacks, a couple bottles of water, and while no one looked I stole this extra pillow.”

“Negan! You can’t be doing that, someone’s probably missing a pillow now.”

“I don’t give a fuck, I want to be sure you’re comfortable while you’re here.”

He gently placed the pillow behind your head and it did feel much better. Negan arranged the whole room to fit whatever accommodations you might need. Negan’s head turned when one of the nurses came in with a tray.

“Hey there folks! Just here to drop off dinner.”

“Thank you, is the doctor coming back to see us?”

“Yes sir, he’s making rounds as we speak.”

Negan thanked him as the nurse exited the room and went back to your side. He carefully helped positioning the bed and setting the table. He even made sure your food was cut and that you ate properly. While it didn’t taste the best you still enjoyed having a full stomach.

“Evening you two. Just came by to make sure everything is okay.”

“Yes sir, she’s doing alright.”

“Doctor could you please tell me everything? I just woke up ya know.”

“Yes ma’am. You were diagnosed with pneumonia, which explains the oxygen and why you’re feeling trouble with breathing. You were also extremely dehydrated but yhis IV will help and since your oxygen levels are low we’ll need to keep you here. But unfortunately we’re not sure for how long. But I promise to give you updates.”

The doctor left once again and Negan went back to facing you and watched you eat.

“Asshole.”

“How is he an asshole?”

“Well he had the audacity to try and put you in a room with another fucking sick person. So I yelled at him to get you a private room and then he was talking as if I was dumb. Fuck I just wanted to deck him but I kept calm because you need a place to rest. Luckily, I got you a private room.”

“You really didn’t need to go through all that trouble.”

“You’re worth it. And I’ll be damned if they didn’t let you have the best.”

You laughed and he reached to kiss your forehead as he took away the empty tray.

“I’ll be right back.”

He left you again and you felt like you needed to get up and move. So you stood up from your bed and needed to use the restroom. You try to walk to it but the oxygen cord wouldn’t reach. So you took it off and slowly stepped with the IV pole. At first was manageable but then it started to hurt breathing. You felt light headed and tried to breathe deeply but it didn’t work. You almost reached for the nurse button but Negan came back in.

“What the fuck!”

Negan quickly got you back to the bed and put your oxygen back on. Soon your breathing became normal and things settled.

“What the hell were you doing?”

“I just wanted to use the restroom.”

He shook his head and pressed for the nurse button for some help.

“Yes sir, how what do you need?”

“She needs to use the restroom, but her oxygen can’t reach.”

“We’re sending someone now.”

Negan sighed and held you until a nurse came in to assist you.

“I know it sucks to be on this but you’ll need it. Here we got a longer cannula so you’ll move more freely.”

Negan watched carefully as the kid helped extend the cord and kept his eyes on you to see if it worked.

“Okay that should do it. If you need anything more just hit that button.”

“Thanks kid.”

“Can I move now?”

“I’ll help you move.”

Negan held your hand and made sure you made it to the restroom. You did your business and stepped out to wash your hands. Negan held your hips to keep you stable and helped you get back into bed.

“You need anything else? Are you cold or warm? What can I do?”

“Just lay next to me please. I’m feeling tired and just want you to hold me.”

Negan didn’t hesitate as you moved over to make room for him. His body slid next to yours and you rested on his chest. You soon drifted off to sleep and felt Negan kiss your head.

-

“Yeah she’s fine. I’m pretty sure she’d love it if you came to see her. Yes ma’am, I’ll let her know.”

Negan was still holding you and you heard him on the phone with someone. You looked over at the clock and saw it was already nine in the morning. He felt you move in his hold and quickly ended his call.

“Morning sleeping beauty.”

“Did you even sleep babe?”

“Kind of but then I decided to make calls to your work and definitely made sure to give your mom a call. She said she’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay, anything else.”

“Yeah, I’m actually going to go home and grab some things. Your breakfast is right here and I made sure to cut everything up for you.”

“Wait.”

Negan was moving to get up but you pulled him back to kiss your lips. He smiled down at you and left you to eat. You finished your food and a nurse came to check your vitals. You sighed out of boredom and stared at whatever was playing on the small TV screen. Negan returned after an hour holding a large duffle bag and placed it on the side table.

“Ok, I’ve got changes of clothes, a new toothbrush and toothpaste, some bodywash, shampoo and conditioner, deodorant, my iPad for your little shows, and a comb.”

“Wow, you really did account for everything honey.”

“Well it’s mostly just essentials. Do you need anything or am I forgetting something?”

“It’s more than enough. Thank you.”

“Have they started your breathing treatments yet?”

“Not yet but I’m sure some will be here soon.”

And sure enough a person from respiratory care came in an hour later to give you the treatments. You were hooked with a mask filled with some sort of medicine and took deep breaths. It felt good to breathe easier and Negan was wearing a sad puppy look. You reached to hold his hand to reassure him.

“So how exactly does this work?”

“Well I fill the tube with the medication assigned to her and it goes into her mask to help open up her lungs to breathe better.”

He only nodded and watched you carefully. You enjoyed being able to feel pressure off your chest and let the lady do her job. It lasted only a few minutes and soon she explained it will be done every few hours.

“Negan I’m going to be okay, I promise.”

“I know but it hurts to see you like this.”

Negan moved to sit by you and made sure you had everything. During the next few days Negan helped you with your eating, changing into new hospital gowns, made sure you wore warm socks, and even helped you shower. He was so sweet, he took extreme good care of you and you would laugh whenever he complained about how the staff didn’t take good enough care of you. He claimed he was the only one who could do ths job right. You felt bad that he slept next to you every night but the time your mother visited he finally went home to shower and try to rest. But it didn’t last since Negan couldn’t be away from you because he was wondering if you were okay without him there. So he rushed back to your side and your mother left to see that you were good hands.

Finally, after a week in the hospital they cleared you to be discharged. Negan was so relieved to see you better but the doctor told you to remain home for another week to fully recover. Negan was more than happy to continue helping you and you felt so lucky.

“Don’t worry baby. It’s just another week but I’ll always be here to take care of you.”

Taglist:

@iluvneganandjamie

@hail-yourselves

[doppopoppo]

Bundle of Feelings

|| Uramichi Daily Headcanon ||

|| Warnings: married, minor cussing, angst, argument ||

|| Uramichi • F!Reader || 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*💙

Silence.

Everything was silent. 

The only thing that could be heard were the trees rustling outside. The curtains swaying softly and hitting the glass door. The fridge is running in the background. And the heavy breathing of two adults. Hearts pounding in their chests. Both afraid the other may hear their heart wanting to explode into a volcanic mess. 

Otherwise, silence. 

Y/N hasn’t seen her husband this mad since she last saw him interact with his father. Uramichi was red in the face, a scowl permanently settled atop his facial features. The way he was holding her hand, squeezing it tightly for mental support. She doesn’t even remember what they were even arguing about, as her father-in-law bickered about the most minuscule of things. 

Today, however, Uramichi’s anger was directed at her. She had thrown out all of his beer and cigarettes. His wife was tired of having to deal with a drunk husband more nights than she wanted. Only sleeping when he was wasted and slurring out cuss words. The heavy smell of tobacco following his trail, making her scrunch up her nose in disgust. Coughing whenever she walks by as he puffs out smoke. None of these were healthy coping mechanisms. She genuinely wanted to help her husband figure out and find better alternatives. Healthier options. One that wouldn’t harm his health. 

As a gymnast, shouldn’t he know better? 

Little did she know, her actions would cause Uramichi to have an outburst. The most the two fought over what to eat for dinner, junk food or protein filled. He began the argument by yelling at her. Then proceeded to belittle her, what can she know? How stupid can she be? 

She cried and tried to calm him down, but he wouldn’t listen. “It's for your own good!” Y/N sniffled, “why can’t you see that?” She was hugging her own body. Unsure if it was for comfort or out of fear; maybe both? 

Uramichi sighed and rubbed his forehead, “I’m a grown man. I can make my own fucking choices for fucks sake, Y/N!” He’s never used such vulgar vocabularies with her before, this was a first. 

She didn’t want to change Uramichi, instead help diminish the fire inside of him. The one his father lit and kept throwing gasoline at it. 

“You won’t grow like this, dear. If you want a brighter future and to help your depression, we need to start fixing your bad habits.” She emphasized ‘we’. Because they were in this together. 

Uramichi had yet another strenuous day at work, all he wanted was to drink beer until he passed out. His wife’s cuddles no longer lulled him to sleep. Her sweet whispers felt meaningless. Only cigarettes could help him calm his mind down. Yet, she still tried to reason with him. Saying bullshit about seeing a therapist, hanging out with friends more often, or going outside that’s not the gym. 

“I know your fathers did horrible things to you. Such as forcing you into something you didn’t want to do. But you have to stop living in the past. Stop blaming your father for your future, which is your present now.” His wife tried to get close to him to bring him into a hug. 

Enraged at her words, “Oh my god, I could just hit you right now!” Uramichi threw the nearest dumbbell to him across the room. She heard a vase shatter, the one that was a hand me down from her mother. 

“What the hell do you know!? You’ve lived a nice and spoiled life, no inch of worries. No wonder you’re such a stubborn brat half the time.” His words were like a sharp knife cutting through her heart. 

She bent down over the broken pieces of vase. Shattered just like her heart. Uramichi’s eyes and mind were clouded in red rage. He hasn’t realized he broke an important item. One that was personally given to them by his mother-in-law. The woman who entrusted her daughters happiness to him. 

“Stop.” Y/N whispered. “Stop this right now!” She shouted at him. New, hot tears fell from Y/N’s eyes as she held into the broken vase pieces. She was in shock that her husband was willing to get physical over beers and cigarettes. This wasn’t what he promised to her on the day of their wedding vows. 

“You’re no different from your father, Uramichi.” She stood up. “An abuser raised another abuser. I can’t have this cycle continue.” Y/N went to put on her coat. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Uramichi was irritated that she had the audacity to leave in the middle of an argument. 

“Our child doesn’t need to witness what you witnessed your father do to you.” His wife glared at him. 

Those words flipped a switch inside Uramichi. Child? But they didn’t have any children. Then it clicked, his wife was pregnant. Was that the real reason she wanted him to stop? Why didn’t she say so in a better way then? It was too late to ask her these though, because she already left the apartment. 

The small apartment that used to be lovely thanks to his wife, now felt cold and lonely. The way it was before she came into his life. He took a look around the room and saw the mess he made. It might’ve been minor, but it left a big impact. Uramichi noticed the important vase he broke and ran out the door to catch up to his wife. Though she was nowhere to be seen. He sighed and went back inside and laid down on the couch. He screwed up big time. 

When morning came, it was raining but the smell of food tickled his senses and woke him up. He slowly got up from the couch and went towards the kitchen. He found his wife in her favorite apron cooking breakfast. 

“Morning.” She chirped. “I’m making American style sausage with scrambled eggs! Go sit at the table in the living room, I’ll be there in a minute.” 

Questions ran through his head as he sat at the table on the floor. The broken vase pieces are gone, but so is the vase. Y/N’s eyes looked empty, betraying the big smile she displayed. He saw his wife bring the food to the table. He quickly got up and helped her. Likewise, he went to grab some additional items to set up the table for breakfast. Was last night a dream? No it couldn’t be. 

The question was itching in Uramichi’s throat, he had to ask. “Why?” 

Y/N looked up from her place, “why what?” 

“Why'd you come back? I even broke your mother’s case.” He thought she walked out for good. He threatened to hit her. He vowed to never be like his father, and that’s exactly who he became last night. His nightmare coming to reality. 

Y/N put her fork down, “Listen, we are married, way passed the dating phase. On our wedding day we vowed to love each other until death do’s us apart. It is both of our responsibilities to make sure the other is doing okay. Physically and mentally. You’re always there for me, dear. I want to be here for you this time, in what I think will help you. I’m sorry I threw out your beer and cigarettes without discussing it with you. I just want  to see you make healthier choices for yourself.” she put her hand over his. “I found out about the baby after I made the decision a while back. It’s another reason now why I would like for you to stop, but the main reason here is you. This is about you and us helping you.” she stared at his eyes. “I don’t wish to change you, but help you. As for the vase, you can buy me another one.” She winked and giggled. “As long as we’re fine, it’s all that matters.”

It was a big change she was asking him to make. But he can take small steps. That’s what the couple decided on. To limit his alcoholic intake to certain days of the week. Same with his smoking. He didn’t have to quit, but he was trying not to be dependent on it. He has the strongest support laying next to him at night. Holding him tightly. Uramichi was truly excited to know he’ll become a father! He’s nervous, but he knew he’s not alone. He thinks about what he can do to be a better father than his was.

Author’s Note:

He needs a hug. And a raise.

Remember, who your parents are don’t define you. If something happened in the past, don’t let it define you and who you are today. It might hold you back from growing. Just remember to take care of your mental health! 💜

Enjoy!

[muffindaddystyles]

Tell me you love me, before I go.

A/N: A very short smutty writing I had in my swirling whole night, which unapologetically I ended up writing in the wee hours of dark.

Summary: Harry and Y/N are rivals -- very passive aggressive enemies. When on a mission Y/N breaks into his room he had no choice but to punish her.

AU: Rivals to lovers, dark sci-fi, angry rough sex, spanking and spitting, reassurance kink and unrequited love.

A war between two groups. Left one with nothing but a tech base and other with almost everything. So the Arsonists raid the Phantoms' buildings to steal food items and necessary fuels for their people since they're mostly unarmed due to lack of weapons they try to use their brain as much as possible. 

Y/N works in one of the tech bases of Arsonists and right now she's standing with her five more mates trying to figure out how to break through these large gates of the villain's building, one of his most strong headquarters. 

They've to collect some data before another truck of fuel arrives for Phantoms next Wednesday so they could have access to it without doing much effort. 

Once sneaking in successfully because the two guards were too muddled in gossiping their arsess about their maiden. The building's nothing too extravagant, sleek and able to live, dimmed to an unpleasant light indicating everyone inside it is sleeping. 

She barges into the villain's room easily and almost had all the information in her hands from his drawers when the door to the room banged close, startling her at spot and the frames of her glasses fell on the carpeted floor. 

"Shit." 

"D'ya think cursing would take ye' out of here? if so you're down bad" Her heart sinks in when his cold insensate voice booms within the walls — a heavy boot comes crushing her glasses, again and again mercilessly. 

Her blood boils. Because, what the fuck. Doesn't he have any manners? 

"Do you think I need my glasses to punch the shit out of you, you prick!!" She pounced at him, almost breaking his nose into a splitted eiffel tower but he dodged it, twisting her wrists at her back and snatching the files from her sneering menacingly —- letting her painful grunts fly over his head without any remorse. 

"Well, well." She yelps when he tightens his grip angrily, "Look what cat dragged in come little mousey we're going to have some fun." She didn't know until now that someone could be this strong as he puts her in a chair like a rag doll binding her with no escape out. 

She tries to squirm and wriggle her butt out but he just tuts standing tall and evil in front of her, she rakes her gaze slowly up to his tanned biceps and clavicles popping from underneath his flimsy shirt, matted curls grazing his shoulders. 

"Oh no, trust me sweetheart, you're going to want to stay strapped in here. We're going to find out how many times an Arsonist can break –- and for the fact my people will kill you on the spot if you step out of my room." Shiver runs down her body from fear and he chuckles, flopping onto the edge of his bed, man spreading, leaning onto the heels of his palms behind him. 

"You're pathetic!" She spits out. Full of venom. 

"Pfft, a thief telling me that 'm pathetic." He shakes his head and she's despising his audacity as if he rules the world. She could kick him square in his sexy face but the thing's she's bound to this damn uncomfy chair. 

"Atleast, I don't go on killing people." She grumps and it's like she pushed a button when his irises turn pitch dark. Her eyes widen in astonishment, reeking with fear when he leaves his spot in a thunder striding towards her furiously and drags the chair closer to him, almost lifting it inches above floor. 

The next thing she knows that a gun is resting against her temple ready to be fired, "Ye' really that desperate fo' me to prove it to you, huh?" He growls, hooded gaze following the gun that's sliding down her cheek and the way her breath wavers —- lips trembles, nose twitches he knows he's fucked. 

"Will it hurt?" If she's going to die it better be an easy way. 

His eyes soften at that. Taking in the rosy features of her, the plushiness and squishiness of her skin that his fingers feels like dipping into cream. The women of Phantom aren't like this; they're built differently to fight and kill who wrongs them -- they're almost heartless at this point. 

"Dunno, You'll get to know after taking one." He shrugs like it's not a biggie tipping her chin with the gun's pointer and her eyelids slip shuts. She couldn't cry. Even her dead body wouldn't forgive her if she would cry infront of her worst enemy for the last time. 

"I hate you, Harry. I'd never ever forgive you for kidnapping my cat when we were small." There she said it. If she's gonna die soon she better let it off her chest. Before it could hit him right in the wound he builds a shield fast arguing back with a stoic chuckle. 

"Guilt tripping wouldn't help, darling." He tuts patting her cheek with the gun's barrel —- funny case it's empty of bullets. He just shooted all of them whilst doing target practice. 

"Fuck you." She yells. 

"It'd take much more action than just undressing me naked with your bare eyes." He squeaks dramatically. Stepping away and pouts when she huffs trying to kick her feet in his direction. 

"Not my fault that you're a perv." 

He pouts feigning fake disappointment putting a hand on his chest, "You're such a grudge holder." 

"Think about 10 ways to fuck me until then 'm heading to make amends for you -- see what they offer in return of their precious nerd." He smirks, it's sad such a gorgeous face could be such evil she thinks. 

// 

When he comes back she's fallen asleep from getting tired and exhausted being trapped in the same spot for hours, "Sorry, peaches but they don't want you back –- even told me to kill you if that what it ta —- oooh" He halts in his tracks closing the door behind him quietly not to wake her up and pads softly towards her, putting her dangling head back gently in a comfortable position and tucks a strand of her hair that's tickling her nose behind her ear. 

You're not supposed to act that way with your enemy, you FUCKER. 

His brain screams but his heart says otherwise. 

She has changed. She never cries anymore. Everytime they kidnapped her or she ended up being caught from his henchmen —- she'd always need company to make her feel less frightened from the hollowness of their buildings, would cry when they'd lock her up in dark rooms. 

It's awfully hurtful how once bestfriends turns into rivals just because of a conflict that ruined their and their families lives. 

She has been doing all of this for people who doesn't even care about her. They're using her and many others like her to build a nuclear power plant so they could become intimidating. 

He retires to sleep. Debating in his sleep whether he should just free her and tell her to sleep in one of the rooms of the buildings but soon the possibilities died when he was high in his slumber. 

// 

He groans, knuckling the sleepiness away from his eyes. He woke up from loud the thumping and found Y/N trying to break the door knob, he winces covering his ears when she screams watching him lunge towards her in rush. 

His chocolate curls bouncing atop his head. His emerald eyes speaking with morning's gold and lips ripe like cherry. His brows kinked in annoyance and expression pinched in rage. 

"You're confident." He rasps out in his morning husk and slams his hands on either side of her head trapping, cornering her between him and the wall.

"Did you really think it was going to be this easy." He nothing but purres, pushing her against the door. She gasps abruptly aware of their height differences moreso the radiation of power he daunts that she ignored her whole life. 

"Hmm." He hummed. Eyes black with intimidation burning her under the intensity of it, he keeps his focus on her, smirking. "It suits you. This trying to fight me, desperation is a beautiful look on you." 

"Fuck you." 

"I mean if, ask nicely." His smile is sweetly honey and lethal if you ask me. 

She glares at him with blazing daggers, "This isn't the way you make people love you." Her chest heaving with his heat close to her and his scent enveloping her. 

"Love?" He laughs fondly even, crinkled forming by his eyes and he breathes out when she hovers her dry lips over his's, "Sweet thing this isn't about love — if ye ask me far from that." He's lying. He's full of bullshit. 

"And yet you don't touch me or hurt me." She squints her eyes up at him wrecking her brain how to slip away from his hold, "If you beg so." He simpers awfully lewd for her. Sure as rock for what he said with his whole chest. 

"Come get me then!" She trips him aside and rushes for the door when he pushes her into it tightening his hand around her throat, it's aching him to tell her the truth but he wants to let her know her worth. He rests his forehead against her's muttering a rumble deep within his chest, "They don't want you Y/N." Her windpipes squeezes painfully. The statement punching her lungs. Tears springing in her eyes. 

"You're lying!!" She looks up at him shattered and desperate. 

He caresses his knuckles against her tear stained cheek, "Shh, shh baby I'll always want you even if they don't — " He jerks back when she blows hit at his brawny chest yelling at him. 

"It's because of you!! You, you, you." He sighs. Grabbing her wrists and pining them above her head, "Shut up, please." His chillness irks her more and she nips at him feastly. 

"Make me." So he does. When her eyes drift up at his determined ones it takes her breath away and she knew it was over for her. 

His lips catches her's in a hard kiss, driving them apart with the force of it. Nothing gentle mind mushing about it rather pricking needles into her skin with the severeness of it. She feels the door rattling against her back when he shifts, pushing her against it with his hips, every thought of her exploding into white noise of want and lust. The dark curl of desire twisting in her stomach and pearling sweat on her neck. With the last thread of restraint in herself she tries to pull away. 

"No." He says bringing her lips back to his's. Cupping her cheeks to deepen the kiss and it's ardent as before not loosing it's spark, she slips her hands under his shirt — pulling him closer and the low groan at the back of his throat, a small pleading noise of want sets her skin on fire. 

"Fuck me."  She mewls. Trying to latch on his body like a kitten with it's dainty paws. 

He glides his clammy palms down her bum and grabs her thighs wrapping them around his waist. Not breaking the kiss but tasting ever dulcet corners of her mouth and creating heavenly noises. 

The next thing they know she's crawling back with the help of her bum to settle in the nest of pillows and he's fumbling with his belt buckle quite aggressively, she tugs the hem of his shirt down not satiated enough from having his lips on her and meanders her fingers in his hair to pull at them roughly in order to flush her chest up against his's.

"Never thought your sheets would have smelled other than sex." Because, genuinely. They smell that of fresh mint and roses. 

"So, you think of me doing dirty on this bed you're laying at the moment?" He asks mock and degradation evident in his tone, "D'ya get wet dreamin' 'bout me railin' ye' to death?" He grazes his teeth along her jaw and sucks at her earlobe counting in her silence. 

"Shut up." She gasps, probably from the abrupt press of his bulge against the inside of her thigh. 

"Make me then." He growls. Fisting the hem of her hoodie and pulls it over her head throwing it among his skinny jeans. Her head falls back and lips tremble from the effect of slap he landed at her outer thigh —-- she knows she can't shut him.

Though he knows that her single command and he'd be at his knees for her. 

When she clings to him for dear life and whimpers in his ear softly, his eyes widen in realization and he leans away to watch her expressions diffuse into manifold emotions. His nose scrunches up and he holds back his cooes for her. 

She's a subby. A cute one. 

Her eyes blink open to the sight of him out of his boxers and it waters her mouth —- her mind manipulating her to lunge forward and take his heavy member in her palm to give a good suck to his shiny crimson head. 

Down her throat. Nestle her nose against the trim patch of hair under his balls. 

"Like what y'see, doll?" He highers his chin quite smug about her staring and she hates him for that, "Pretty cocky for someone who likes staring at his enemy's tits." Her voice groggy. She wheezes a squeak through her nose when Harry pulls his shirt over his head revealing toned pecs and abs -- skin sewn with tats. 

Unfortunately, she doesn't get to stare at it for longer when that shirt comes wrapping around her eyes blocking her sight. 

He can never let her have nice things would he?

"Wanted to gag your mouth with it … but I'd rather love hearing you moan fo' daddy." He nips at her collarbones -- sucking it harshly to leave a prominent mark. His calloused hand rubs over her tummy smiling against her skin when she jolts and lets a little squeal slip. 

His cock drips precome at her tummy and her breath shudders into heavy pants when the tip of his cock dipped in her belly button nudging it. 

"Ha —- " He glides his sticky head down her happy trail and slips his large palm into her panties cupping her with his middle finger teasing her entrance, "Couldn't hear you!" He ducks down to put his ear near her lips and drums the pads of his digits against her cheek. 

She huffs and squirms for a second then moans breathily when he spanks the side of her hip leaving a sting, "Oh my god, daddy." His grin victorious and he lowers down to smudge his lips against her parted ones -- kissing her tongue and humming around it. 

She's somewhere it's hard to configure out, in between paradise and wonderland. 

"Tell me princess, what d'I do with you in your filthy dreams?" He grabs her jaw patching gentle pecks against her lips and he slops his finger into her throbbing pussy, "Fuckin' drippin' down ye' bum fo' me." She cries out trying to hook her thigh around him but he hisses slapping her cunt hardly -- turning her into a thrashing mess. She's trying hard to suppress the bitter-sweet sensation of her own body getting out of control and her glistening pussy lips flutter erratically creating sloppy noises. 

She squirts drenching the sheets underneath them and her panties. 

He slides his arm under her arching back pushing her up against his chest with a jerk, "Daddy's askin' you somethin'." He grits, propping his knee in between her thighs to rub it against her soaking centre. 

She gulps, licking her dry lips, "You–your rings … ah!" Her whimpers are muffled against his chest and he twists his thumb in tight circles to smear her wetness from her slit to clitoris, "What 'bout them, doll?" 

How does she tell him she liked what he did earlier. 

"Daddy, please … " She whines blindly searching for his face but he grips her wrists in his one hand and groans, "How's daddy gonna make you feel good when you don't tell him, pet?" He takes a kitten lick of her perky nipple. Teasing her areola with the tip of his cold tongue against her warm sweaty body —- he laps at it hungrily then creates a suckling noises, the noises, his slobbery tongue on her body, his fingers curled inside her pussy and the thick humidity is too overwhelming, she feels like fainting. 

She wants him, inside her needy pussy. 

She can't take the teasing anymore. 

"Spanking! I – I liked it when you did it, please." He kisses her nipple for the last time before smashing his mouth against her's in a fervent sinfulness and parts away with a smooching noise to sit back on his heels, "It wasn't that hard was it? Just a word and I could give you my whole world." The sincerity in his voice makes her want to hug him and kiss him for lifetime but for now he has other plans as he rips her panties away moaning obscenely gruff at the sight of her pussy weeping for him to pound his cock inside her, so ready and full of dripping honeyed wetness  for him. 

"Your safe word is clouds." He whispers in her ear. He knows her limits and her resistance but by any chance he'd cross it he'd never forgive himself, "What's it?" He asks and she says in wavering, "Clouds." 

"Atta girl." He pets her cheek. 

Her nail scratches the side of his hands that are pinning her down when he spits on her already damp cunt, a loud noise resonates along with her needy cries when his free hand adorned in jewels came spanking her pussy and her pelvis remains lifted in air bathing in the sting of metal and the throb rattling in her whole core. 

"This's what you wanted?" He kisses his teeth slapping her slick clit again and again, "To be roughed up by daddy, hmm." She bobs her head squirming and wriggling. Her words struck in her throat. 

"To be manhandled." He hums a growlish moan tasting his own fingers coated in her juices, "I'll show you what being manhandled really feels like." He promises her. She gasps a sweet yelp when he flips her over and throws her bum up.

His cock rubbing against her thigh and her heartbeat fastens, anticipating something, crimping the sheets in her fists and mewls into the mattress when he spanks her ass loving the way it jiggles stroking it afterwards to subside the burn down before landing another brutal one. 

She bolts her eyes shut throwing back her hips at him and he lays all the way over her back pushing her down on the bed, her cum trickling down the inside of her thigh, "Want daddy's cock?" He asks. Slicking the head of his prick up and down her asshole and slit. 

When she nods vigorously he bumps it in furious circles against her swollen bundle of nerves, "Then beg fo' it," He says intimidatingly and she doesn't waste a second before blabbering shamelessly. 

"Daddy … please I want your massive cock inside me, all of it." In her entire lifetime -- she never once uttered these kind of words. 

His heart mushes into a puddle seeing her a babbling mess and grabby hands for him, he kisses her gently speaking to her with foremost affectionate, "shh, shh moppet. You could have it anytime you want it, daddy's g'na fill you to rim with his cum and make you keep it there for hours with his prick still snug inside your little pussy, just made for him, c'mere...yeah just like that." He lays her back gently that her front is facing him now and wraps his hand around her calve raising it and pushing it against her chest firmly.

A series of pornographic moans and whimpers echoes in his bedroom when he seathes inside her slowly stretching her out in by inch leaving a burn behind her pulsating walls, their breath laboured breaths mingling, "Fuck you're so warm baby —-- hugging daddy's cock so good." He whines looking down where they're connected and knotted. His stomach twists and turns, his hips stiffens and he resists from pushing inside her when she's not ready but her milking him with her wetness isn't doing him any mercy too. 

She gropes his ass, nudging him to move and their teeths clanks, temples falls against eachother and lips whisper prayers of their unrequited love when he pulls all the way back to pound back inside her roughly. 

"You're daddy's good girl, making him feel so good. I want to keep you to myself. all of you and cherish you, make love to you, w'na mark you however I want." He groans eyes rolling back under his closed lids grinding his hips against her's in rhythmic pleasuring motions to give her clit stimulations and she cries out feeling another bursting orgasm bubbling in her tummy. 

"'M gonna cum, daddy!" She tugs at his roots and he drives more maniacly inside her, "Squirt around daddy's cock pet, so your pussy could swallow it deeper inside you." The headboard of bed hits against the wall vigorously and she digs her heels deeper into the dimples at his back moaning at the top of her lungs when she gushes all over his dick making more squelching, soapy, dirty noises of him raming inside her. 

She desires for more. 

She has become one little insatiable thing. 

His balls smacks against her bum and his thursts turn faster to chase his high, "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He curses nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck and keeps his hand around his throat with the slight pressure of claimation. 

"Come fo' me again." He spanks her ass and she clamps shut down at him pushing him to the edge of ecstasy, "Squeezing me so tight -- gimme more, I know you can princess." Her legs tremble around his waist when she crampies around him and his cock's head strokes against her sweet spot doing wonders to just topple her off real quick. 

"Daddy!" She feels floaty and foggy head coming on his cock for the many times she has forgotten. Her mind blocking out even the weak shuddering whimpers and beaten moans of Harry as he reaches his orgasm unloading inside her -- his cum sticking thickly to her walls and some of it oozing outside of her pussy hole but he pumps it back with lazy strokes. 

He lifts his smushed face from the dip of her neck, his own curls sweaty against the nape of his neck and he smoothes his palms down her sides to calm her, his lips brushing featherly against the corner of her mouth as she keeps on blabbering something. 

When he tries to pull out gently she cries out pawing at his shoulders, "Daddy no!" He caresses her sweaty hair back and gets rid of her blindfold, pecking her nose sweetly. 

He wants to take care of her. He yearned to have her like this for years. He has to bring her back from her sub-space before it's too late. 

"It's no daddy anymore, petal. I'll crush you in this position — " Carefully he tries to retreat but stop when she says in a very dejected feeble voice, bottom lip wobbling and tears springing at the corners of her eyes, "You don't want me too?" OH NO. This's what Harry was afraid about. A breakdown. He saw the storm coming but didn't know it could be this worst right when she's in her sub-space. 

His face pales at that. His state in frenzy and panic. 

"No bubba. I want you my precious girl -- s'just you're gonna get tired like this, hmm. 'N I have so much to show you and make you meet new people -- couldn't have me baby walkin' on her wobbly legs for whole day could I?" He cups her cheeks tenderly and smiles down at her warmly smothering her in devoted kisses. 

"Promise, daddy?" She sniffles staring up at him with doe innocent eyes and he shakes his head, "Harry sweet angel, come back to me moppet." He keeps his gaze locked with her's, gliding his thumb delicately against her cheeks and seals his promise with a kiss. 

"Promise." 

She lets him pull out and he shushes her wrecked whimpers with his lips. Falling to side with a large puff of breather and embraces her with his arm slinged around her shoulders protectively and she hides her face in his chest, mumbling incoherent things and he tries to stay with her emotionally and physically much as possible -- assuring her and soothing her with his sweet nothings. 

"Harry." She whispers softly and his ears perks up at that looking down at her with most loving eyes, "Hi baby." He giggles quietly kissing the tip of her nose and she sniffs cuddling into him. 

"Sorry —- " He shakes his head pinching her chin to make her look up. 

"You don't have to darling -- s'okay, everything's alright." After, making sure she's okay and giving her million re-assurances because he loves to he cleaned her with a damp wash rag. 

"Such a pretty babe." He makes her blush treating her as if she's a china glass doll who'd break at his slightest poke and showers her in praises and kisses because dunno who got her self-esteem and confidence like that but that person sure needs to get punched in their face. 

"Did I hurt you?" He asks tenderly applying a thin layer of cream on her red imprints. She shakes her intervining her fingers into his's one by one and kisses his knuckle, "No." 

"Good." He chuckles as if he was holding his breath. 

"How bout you take a lil nap and I see if I could bring us some brekkie, hmm?" He's gonna break his own rule. Taking food from mess area to your rooms and taking long showers was never allowed, having lights on after 12 because of the risk of attacks. 

"'M not hungry, please stay." Her eyes half open and her face buried into his scented pillow, "Dunno. But to me you look like y'could faint any time soon." He says sternly pulling a snugly clean duvet over her body. 

"Okie but come back quick." 

"Don't worry. In a snap I'll be infront of you." 

//

It's her fourth day here. She came out of his room to socialize just a day before and she realized from the nasty glowers thrown her way that not a single person likes her. 

But it felt like spending a lifespan with Harry. To fill the emptiness of all those moments of their childhood together they lost once after the war. 

She got to know he's the best cuddler and likes to be a small spoon, she loves to jetpack him. He seems rather scary and is scary when he's commanding people off -- they wouldn't dare but to speak a word over him but he's this big softie Y/N likes to squish in their privacy. 

He got her glasses fixed and put them over her nose with a mishevious kiss, she was unable to not to grin when he murmered against her lips, "Now you could punch me with your glasses on." 

"Seems like I don't have to do that anymore." She shrugged squealing afterwards when he threw her over his shoulder tickling her till all she coul see was him and stars. 

It was all going on track until now when she was passing through the lobby to go to Harry who's practicing out in field, "What are you doing here Alex?" She asks angrily grabbing his arm and he tells her feeling relieved she's okay, "I'm here to take you back." 

"But they don't want me back." She grits, he catches her wrist pleading her sadly, "We want you back -- Nia waits for you daily." Nia is his five years daughter. 

"I know that … but — " How she's gonna tell him she's in love with one person they despise with their whole hearts. 

"But what — "

"Alex!!" He was in the midst when she sees a bullet approaching his way from the side of his shoulder and screeches loudly pushing him aside, the bullet makes it's home in her chest. 

It was fired from Harry's gun with his own hands that were loving on her an hour ago. Life drains out of his body and he feels sickness approaching to split his throat, knees turning weak as he stares his shaking hand in horror. 

Before, he could do anything another bullet hits Y/N in shoulder knocking her to floor and this time it was one of his people, the shot was fired on instinct. 

"Put your gun down!!" He shouts at him shoving him away with a single forceful push and strides towards where the love of his life's laying in a pool of blood. 

He pulls his hair maniacly, falling to his knees and pulls her up in his lap cradling her head gently to press his lips against her forehead, "No,no,no,no baby." He sobs wiping his tears away harshly to see her properly. 

"Ouch. It actually hurts." She gives him a frail smile raising her shaky hand to cup his cheek. 

Will it hurt? 

You'll get to know after taking one. 

He wishes he could takes his words back. 

"You'll be fine, you're okay, 'm so so sorry moppet. Didn't-- didn't know y'were standing behind him, bu –-- but s'...s'okay yeah —-- call the doctor!! Why nobody has called him yet!!!" His scream thunders aggressively as everyone watches  their commander this defenceless and vulnerable infront of them for the first time in shock. 

"It's not your fault, okay?" She manages to speak groaning and eyes rolling back from pain residing in her bones torturesly, he cries out like a wounded puppy patting her cheek to keep her awake, "Please stay with me baby, please." Her chest tightens. His chest tightens from the fear of loosing her and he stands up carrying her bridal style tumbling his way on wobbly legs towards the medical ward in the building. 

His tears shiny droplets on her skin and she nuzzles into his fragrance for the last time. 

"There was no happy ending to this," She murmurs. Any, sign of life fading from inside her and replacing her eyes with stoness.

He brings her closer to himself, "hey, hey now none of that -- you're not leaving. 'M not letting you leave." He kicks open the door and lays her limp body on the stretcher. Snapping his head outrageously in every direction to find any doctor but none and drags his palms down his teary face.

He couldn't stop crying.

He's loosing the sunlight of his bleak life he must protect her at all costs.

But, life's prize is something that would have him selling all of what he had worked for and still he'd be unable to even bring her back from cold dark earth.

"Shit. Shit ---– I'll patch you up myself. I know how to take a bullet out — " He creates a ruckus around to collect stuff, "Harry! Harry! listen to me." but her hollow anguish calls for him breaks him at last. 

"How about you spend these last few minutes with me because 'm really 'bout to die commander." She tries to keep her anxious voice cheery but fails drastically coughing blood, "Don't say that baby -- I just got you, don't leave me, don't make me hate myself again." Sad tears trickles down her cheeks and he feels like fainting imagining the pain, agony and fear she's suffering from. 

She's hating to leave him.

"Maybe in afterlife, we could have a nice homely house, long warm baths and two smol kittens —- and oh I forgive you for kidnapping my cat." She admires him for the last time wiping his tears away and tries to lift his head that's lowered into shame. 

She's so fond of him at the moment.

She gulps, trying to gasp for oxygen feeling her heartbeat drop to zero, pleading him, "Tell me you love me before I go." His bloodshot eyes snap to her's and his chest heaves ruggedly with heartbreaking sobs -- his words full of sorrow tasting the bitterness of goodbye on her lips streaking away the blood on her mouth. 

"I love you so much, baby. Never stopped. Never will." She cries at last kissing him back with all the blood she has left pumping to her heart and tries to exchange the words but it was too late before she lost it all -- cold in his loving embrace. 

"Stay…." He begs praying like he did never before. 

"Y/N!!" He screams trying to shake her alive and hugs his angel to himself with mournful wails. 

Everyone standing outside the room knows that they'll never see this Harry again. 

[betawooper]

[ID: Two written passages featuring various characters from Omniscient Reader. Joonghyuk is referred to with she/her pronouns. First Transcript:

“You’re not going to join the festivities?” I asked lightheartedly, stepping back when Joonghyuk suddenly rose from her post at the wok to grab the items Seolhwa dropped on the small table. More sesame oil, corn starch, vinegar, brown sugar...

“M—Mr. J—Joonghyuk... are you perhaps, um, making a—um—barbecue?” Hyunsung stammered. The back of his neck was shining with sweat, and I caught him glancing in my direction constantly. His wide eyes asked me so many questions.

I’m supposed to call her ‘Mister,’ correct?

Oh no, did I misunderstand Mr. Dokja before?

Am I being offensive?

Mr. Dokja, please—please—please help!

I gave a small thumbs-up while Joonghyuk wasn’t looking, and Hyunsung let out a shaky breath. While Hyunsung had never run into a situation like this before in TWSA, I always expected him to struggle with what to call her. Hyunsung was an honest and true-hearted man. This must feel like lying.

Second Transcript:

Seolhwa dropped the last few ingredients on the table, looked over at us, and hid a laugh behind her hand. “Is it good, boys?”

Hyunsung nodded enthusiastically. 

I swallowed, and crossed my arms. “... It’s okay, I guess.”

It was a small moment, one I barely caught, but Joonghyuk smirked. She smirked! The audacity! While Hyunsung went for seconds, I huffed and prepared my words.

“Ms. Seolhwa, you better be careful. Joonghyuk may take the role of housewife from you in the future.”

When I turned, once again letting the edge of my coat swish, I felt three pairs of shocked eyes burn through my back. Hyunsung hacked violently and pounded his chest. He must have choked on his food after I casually said ‘housewife.’ A bit unfortunate.

Not sure what was up with the other two, though.

End ID.]

i fucked up and made it a korean bbq but im Committing to the Bit so thats what yall are getting, also hyunsung is here

[dameronology]

love in the time of p.t.a meetings {marcus moreno} - 2/5

summary: your kid has taken a liking to marcus moreno - and frankly, so have you {series masterlist}

warnings: swearing, mentions of divorce & very brief mentions of his wife’s death 

i don’t normally update series this quickly but this was originally one imagine that reached about 11k words lmao so it’s all written, just being split up. i’ve also decided it’s gonna be 5 parts instead of 3, cos i reread the ending and realised i was not done by a longshot. enjoy!

- jazz

Mondays. You hated ‘em.

Everything just seemed so...amplified. The peace and relaxation of the weekend was over and everyone had to go back on the grind. The traffic always seemed worst, the clock seemed to tick backwards and you just wanted to be at home, in bed. After an incident involving the dog, a toaster and a small pan fire, you were already running twenty minutes late and you knew in your soul that your child’s shoes weren’t on the right feet. That, and also he was wearing a Chewbacca onesie to school. It had been a compromise. As in, he was refusing to go to school unless you let him wear the damn thing. It was a compromise. You’d lost. 

On the bright side, the past weekend had been the best you’d had in a long time. Jack had spent all of Saturday afternoon at the Heroics headquarters and he was so worn out, he’d slept through all of Sunday. Marcus Moreno must have a been a fucking wizard, because you’d been trying to tire the kid out for five years. You made a mental note to do something in return, though you sensed there was nothing on God’s green earth that could possibly amount to babysitting the world’s most exhausting child for six hours. You were allowed to say that, because Jack was your world’s most exhausting child and you wouldn’t have changed him for anything. 

‘New week, huh buddy?’ You glanced at Jack in your rear view mirror. He was sat on his booster seat, legs dangling back and forth and a power ranger action figure in his hand. ‘A fresh start.’

‘Can we listen to the song from Cars?’ Jack ignored your comment.

‘You gotta try and behave yourself this week. You’ve seen what happens to people who do follow the rules, right? They get to go work at the Heroics-’

‘- I wanna listen to the song from Cars!’

You wanted to have a deep conversation. Jack wanted to listen to Life Is A Highway. That was...actually, it was exactly how you’d expected that to go. It wasn’t that off of the time you were trying to explain your divorce to him and he’d interrupted you to demand that you put Toy Story on. 

‘Sure thing, kid.’ You rolled your eyes, reaching across to hand him on your phone. ‘D’you know how to spell it-’

Your sentence was cut off by the sound of guitars blaring from the speakers. At least he could work out Spotify.

By some miracle, you managed to make it the school with a few minutes to spare. Because most people had dropped their kids off earlier (see: on time), the lot was pretty empty. That meant you could once again dump your car without regard for the painted white lines -- who had time to park properly on a Monday morning? That was for people who had their shit together.

Leaping out the car, you almost cursed when you tripped over your heels. You didn’t have to wear them, but since you’d started working in a managerial role at your office, you figured it made you look a little more professional. And what was the harm in being a few inches taller? It made you feel powerful.

‘C’mon, J.’ You pulled open the back door, helping Jack leap out the car. 

‘You know, I’m starting to think you can’t park your car at all.’

‘Marcus!’ Jack practically flew out the car, his tiny body suddenly jolting with excitement. 

‘Morning, buddy.’ He replied; he then moved his brown eyes to gaze at you, offering a smile. ‘Hey.’

‘Hey, how you doing?’ You greeted him. ‘I don’t normally see you here in the mornings.’

‘Yeah, I normally drop Missy off at the front but it was one of those mornings, you know? She was taking a little more convincing than usual to go in.’

‘My kid is in a Wookiee onesie and backwards Thomas the Tank Engine shoes and you have the audacity to ask me if I know those mornings? I am those mornings.’ You replied.

Marcus chuckled. ‘I think it’s a look. I especially like the Lightning McQueen sunglasses.’

‘Do you have a super suit?’ Jack asked. ‘Can I try it on?’

‘C’mon, Jack. You’ve already managed to get a tour of the HQ.’ You ruffled his hair. ‘And we gotta get going to school.’

‘But I wanna ask more questions.’ He muttered. ‘I have over a hundred.’

‘Don’t I know it.’ You murmured under your breath. ‘But school is more important.’

‘I don’t wanna go anymore.’

‘I let you wear the onesie. That was our agreement, remember?’

‘All good superheroes have to get an education.’ Marcus reasoned. ‘And if you go in, maybe I can show you my suit at some point?’

'Okay!’ Jack grinned. He wrapped his arms around your waist in a quick hug, before peering up at you with a toothy smile. ‘See ya later!’

He turned on his heel and ripped his backpack from your hand, suddenly speeding up the path and towards school. Had...had that just happened? For once in your life, had you not had to wrench him from the car and wrestle him through the school gates? Move aside, Harry Potter, because Marcus Moreno was the new wizard in town. You might have been a little jealous that he was so good with your son but at the same time, it made you like him even more. He was the first parent at the school that had leant into Jack’s wild tendencies. And, whilst you tried not to think too much about it, even his own dad had struggled to do that. It made your heart warm a little. 

‘You are seriously my favourite person.’ You chimed, leaning back against your car. 

‘Kids with character are way more fun than kids who are well-behaved.’ Marcus replied.

‘I spent forty-five minutes scraping string cheese out the USB port of my computer yesterday, but sure.’ 

He chuckled. ‘No, I’m serious. I don’t encourage Missy to misbehave but she does get herself into some situations. I choose to see it as a testament to her intelligence rather than disobedience.’

‘I refuse to believe for a second that Missy ever misbehaves.’ You shot back back. ‘She seems so well-behaved.’

‘What you see in the parking lot is not a reflection of our whole lives.’ He reminded you.

‘Right, because despite appearances, I’m actually a very put together parent.’ You snorted. ‘But I get what you mean.’

‘I gotta get to work now, but it was good to see you.’ Marcus pulled his car keys out his pocket. ‘I was serious about that suit thing, by the way. He saw my katanas on Saturday.’

‘Katanas?’ You spluttered. ‘My kid managed to start a fire last week out of nothing and you want to give him katanas?!’

‘Maybe I can show you how to use them.’ He flashed you a smile. ‘And then you can pass on the knowledge.’ 

‘That’s probably an even worse idea.’ You shook your head with a laugh, pulling open your car door. ‘I’ll see you around.’

‘You as well. Have a good day, pretty lady.’

--

Did you stop thinking about your exchange at any point during the day? Absolutely not. In fact, you’d already written an email to the local deed poll office to change your legal name to Pretty Lady. 

No, but in all seriousness, you’d been a little giddy about it. Had he been flirting? That didn’t seem like a long shot. You got on well, you’d hung out a bit over the weekend and not to toot your own horn, but you were by no means bad looking. Tired and a little frazzled, sometimes? Yeah. But anyone would have been lucky to have you and you were doing a better job at recognising that, especially since your divorce. 

You were almost ecstatic when it got to 4PM and you hadn’t received a single call from Jack’s teachers. That meant that he had behaved, and what Marcus had said had worked. Because you worked past his finishing time, he usually went to the after-school club till you could come to collect him - it had been a lifesaver, especially since you couldn’t always leave early. He usually came home with some kind of weird arts and crafts. Last week, it had been an unidentifiable item made of dried macaroni and glitter. He’d placed it pridefully on the old fireplace in your lounge. 

After saying goodbye to your co-workers, you headed out the building. Your office was right in the city centre and not too far out from the school. It was a nice place to be; your lunch hour, when you could head out to a street cart and eat your food in the local park, was usually the highlight of your day. It was when you could exist just as you. When you were at work, you were in charge on your entire department. When you were home, you were a parent 24/7. That time to yourself was vital.

As you were heading to your car, your phone began to ring. Your heart almost jumped out your chest when you saw Marcus’ name - he hadn’t called you before, only texted to sort out the previous weekend’s plans with Jack. You quickly organised yourself (he couldn’t see you, dumb ass) and cleared your throat.

‘Hey, everything alright?’ You brightly greeted him.

‘Hey! Are you out of work now?’

‘Yeah, I’m literally just leaving. What’s up?’

‘Look, I hate to do this but I’ve had an emergency at work - superhero related, you don’t wanna know - and I’m not gonna be out for hours.’ Marcus sounded stressed. Yeah, I feel that you thought. ‘Would you be able to pick up Missy and possibly have her for a few hours? If not, that’s totally-’

‘- I’d be glad too!’ You interrupted him. ‘I owe you one anyways for the weekend. And this morning, actually.’

‘You don’t owe me anything.’ He sounded surprised that you’d even imply it. ‘But I will definitely owe you for having Missy.’

‘Hey, it’s cool!’ You insisted. ‘Do you want me to drop her off at yours later?’

‘I can come and collect her if you text me your address?’

‘Perfect.’ You smiled. ‘I’ll see you later then?’

‘You’re a lifesaver.’ Marcus said. ‘I’ll text Missy to let her know to find your car instead of mine. I would ask for your plate number, but your car is...’

‘...bright red, covered in dents and hard to miss?’ You finished his sentence.

‘Exactly.’

You’d been in the same situation before; pulled between work and parenting, with Jack stuck at school and an important meeting that felt like it was never ending. It was hard to get a sitter on such short notice - or afford one, sometimes - and it was just another one of the million, stressful situations that single parenting could get you into. If you could help Marcus even a little bit, of course you were going to. You knew he’d do the same for you. Heck, he had done the same for you.

Jack and Missy were both chatty on the way home. Given that she was a little older than him, her conversational skills were strikingly better. It was nice to ask someone about their day and not get where are my Cheetos? as an answer. From what you gathered, she hated science class, enjoyed gym, and her favourite subject was lunch. That didn’t come as a surprise to you - her dad was a literal superhero and probably encouraged physical activity.

(You’d seen his arms, okay? They were more than enough to go on. I digress).

The only thing that made you wish you’d had a little more notice on having her for the evening was the state of your apartment. The place wasn’t bad; you’d lived there for the better part of eight years, and it was crammed with soft furniture and millions of blankets, as well as photos of you and Jack and his questionable art projects. It was just that you hadn’t done the dishes that morning, there was a mountain of shoes by the door and the pancakes from the previous night were still stuck on the roof.

Missy barely blinked an eye; the minute she saw your dog, she’d abandoned her bag and was playing with him. 

‘Hey buddy!’ She grinned. ‘What’s he called?’

‘That’s Oppy.’ You replied, hanging your jacket up. She didn’t need to know that it was short for Optimus Prime. No guesses on whose idea that had been. 

‘He’s so cute!’ Missy continued. ‘I’ve been asking dad for a dog for ages but he won’t budge.’

For some reason, that surprised you a little. Marcus might have been the leader of a super-hero team and a public figure, but you could tell he would do anything for his daughter. You knew because it was the same for you with Jack. He might have ruled your whole life but you would have hung the damn stars in the sky for him if he asked 

‘They’re a lot of work.’ You reasoned. ‘I have to wake up every morning at 6AM to make sure he gets a walk. Then there’s the matter of-’

‘- mum! Optimus Prime pooped in the bathroom!’

‘The matter of that.’ You murmured under your breath.

The rest of the evening went pretty smoothly. You fed the kids some leftover takeaway and between the dog and Netflix, they were easily entertained. Jack seemed to take a liking to Missy, which was good because it meant he wanted to sit with her the entire time instead of bouncing off the walls. She had the same patience as her dad, especially when he asked her a million questions about superheroes. It took her twenty minutes to convince him that Batman wasn’t her uncle, and a further fifteen to make him believe that she hadn’t met Captain America. 

Jack had asked you a few times about whether or not he would get siblings. Of course, it would be different to any interactions with Missy because he would have been the oldest, but it did get you thinking. You were finally in a place where you were moving past your former relationship and healing from the wounds. Time wasn’t much of an issue either - you’d had Jack when you were young and barely out of college. You couldn’t possibly imagine having any more kids right now, not when it was just the two of you, but in the future? You’d never rule out meeting somebody new. If anything, you were hopeful. Your first relationship had been your only one, and it had ended badly. You wanted to experience love for what it actually was, and not what you thought it was supposed to be. 

Not long after 7PM, there was a knock on your door. By that point, both Missy and Jack had passed out on the sofa with Star Wars playing quietly in the background. It had been her idea to watch it - she had good taste. Marcus had clearly done a good job.

‘Hey!’ You greeted him as you pulled open the front door. ‘Come in quick, it’s fucking freezing out there.’

‘Thank you.’ Marcus came inside, dusting a few snow flakes out his hair. ‘Seriously, I can’t say it enough-’

‘- it’s fine!’ You shook your head, offering him a smile. ‘Missy’s been great. She’s really chatty and it was nice to have a coherent conversation with someone that isn’t about Paw Patrol. But was everything at the office okay?’

He was quiet for a minute. ‘Yeah. We uh, we lost someone. A hero.’

‘Shit, man. I’m sorry.’ Your voice fell quiet. ‘You wanna come in? You look like you could probably take a moment.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course! Missy and Jack are both asleep on the couch anyways.’ You pointed through to the living room. Marcus leant over to have a look, smiling slightly at the sight. 

‘Thank you. I’d appreciate that.’

He took a seat at the kitchen counter. Your old bar stools were a little old and wobbly, but Marcus didn’t seem to notice. If anything, he admired the place. It was cluttered as hell and filled with useless, old items - cook books you didn’t use, random magnets, assorted toys - but it was nice. His house always felt a little cold and clinical. He’d moved a lot over the course of Missy’s life and now that he was retired from the field, he’d sworn to her that their current house was going to be permanent. Whether or not it felt like home was another question entirely. 

‘I would offer you a drink but all I have is..’ you paused, opening the fridge. ‘Nesquik, vodka or apple juice.’

‘You know what? A Nesquik doesn’t sound too bad.’

‘I like your thinking, Moreno.’

After quickly fixing up the two drinks, you slid into the seat beside him and handed him one. You had never in a million years imagined a situation where Marcus Moreno would be in your kitchen drinking chocolate milk, but here we were. It had clearly been a long day for him and you had enough of those to last a lifetime, so you knew how it felt. Coming home after a day that had beat your ass into the ground and having to put on a brave face for your kids was difficult at best. 

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ You gently asked.

‘Yeah, I’ll be okay - it just always fucks me up a bit.’ Marcus murmured quietly. ‘Hits a little too close to home.’

He wasn’t an idiot. He knew that you knew what had happened to his wife. You knew why he’d retired, and why he and Missy had moved away from their original city six years ago.

‘Sorry, that was too deep-’

‘- it wasn’t!’ You quickly cut him off. ‘I’ve had random women come up to me at pick up time and say they’re sorry to hear about my divorce. People I don’t even know. So really, after that, nothing is too much.’ 

He smiled slightly. ‘They always say they’re sorry but why would you bring up a subject if you have to apologise for it?’

‘Exactly!’ You replied. ‘Especially when I’ve moved on. It’s been a year.’

‘It’s the same with me. Missy and I miss her everyday but we don’t mope about it. We just...we look back with fondness on the good memories we have. You can’t move forward if you’re stuck in the past, no matter how much it sucks.’

‘That’s...that’s wise.’ You blinked in surprise. ‘S’pose that means I should take down the dartboard I have with my ex’s face on.’

‘From what I’ve heard, he seems like he should have more than a dart board.’ Marcus snorted - then he froze. ‘Wait, not that I’ve heard stuff, I mean...I don’t listen-’

‘- Marcus!’ You whacked his arm. ‘It’s fine. One of the other kid’s mums started telling me about the terrible divorce someone was going through but she realised she was gossiping to the one who was going through it.’

‘I don’t know how much of what I’ve been told is true, but it sounds like it was bad.’ His hand hovered over where yours was rested on the counter. 

‘The rumours pretty much get the gist of it.’ You replied. ‘But we were talking about your thing, so I don’t wanna take away from that.’

‘Hey, it’s okay.’ He finally moved his hand, fingers gently curling underneath yours to intertwine them. ‘If even half of the whispers are true, he sounds like an asshole. You and Jack both deserve better than that.’

Whatever people had said, it had sort of covered the gist of it. You’d married too young and had a kid too young - your ex had been a terrible husband and an even worst husband. He’d chastised Jack for being...well, being Jack. He’d stay out late with his friends, spend money on things neither of you needed and tried to make you take the blame for it all. After giving him a few too many chances, you’d finally reached breaking point and kicked him out. Filing for divorce and taking on being a single parent was single-handedly the hardest and bravest thing you’d ever had to do. In a way, you were glad you’d done it when Jack was still so young - he didn’t really understand any of it, even when you’d try to explain it in child friendly terms.

‘I think people judge me for it a little sometimes.’ You confessed. ‘They see me struggling but they know I made the choice to separate from him, like I brought it all on myself.’

‘That’s bullshit.’ Marcus plainly stated. ‘Parenthood isn’t a dependent thing based on whether or not you’re still married to the other parent. It’s unconditional and permanent.’

‘I should tell him that, but I also don’t want him back in our lives.’

‘I know it’s none of my business, but he doesn’t deserve Jack. He’s one of the best and brightest kids I’ve ever met.’

‘Thank you. I’m glad he doesn’t seem like a complete lunatic.’

‘He doesn’t deserve you either.’ Marcus continued. ‘Again, I might be out of place saying this but you are...you’re amazing. I was a wreck when I was suddenly on my own and you’re still holding everything together and working your ass off.’ 

‘You’ve noticed?’ You quirked an eyebrow.

‘Yeah, in passing.’ He admitted. ‘I remember I once saw you carrying three separate science projects at once and then Carol made a passing comment that you were on your own and...I just kinda admired you from afar.’

‘You, Marcus Moreno, admired me?’ You blinked at him in disbelief. ‘I find that hard to believe.’

‘I wish I’d had my shit together half as much as you did when I lost Missy’s mum.’ 

‘But the difference is you didn’t have a choice in your situation. I chose to boot his dad out-’

‘- you gotta stop discrediting yourself.’ He shook his head. ‘And stop blaming yourself. You did what was right for your kid and that is the most admirable thing of all.’

‘You really think so?’

‘I know so.’

The conversation slowly drizzled away, leaving you two to just look at each other. It was hard to tear yourself away from his brown eyes - there was a lot going on behind them. Fear, pain, anguish, admiration. He was one of the most mind-blowingly impressive people you’d ever met; single dad, superhero, electric car owner. He probably didn’t have a mortgage too and that was kinda hot. You were none of those things and yet, here he was, with you, managing to connect on a level that you never had with anyone. Both of your situations were tough, but they’d brought you together. 

Marcus Moreno was pretty fucking fearless (came with the job, you figured), and he wasn’t afraid to make the first move. He slowly inched his head forward and in return, you gravitated towards him. Your lips met halfway in a soft kiss, his hands moving to firmly hold your waist as he pulled you closer.

You almost stumbled out your chair with the movement, but his grip on your hips meant you didn’t slip. Instead, he placed you up on the counter, standing up as he did. It took you a moment to adjust to the position, but with your legs resting on either side of his, you could reach forward and lean on him. You had one hand tangled in his hair and the other on the back of his neck -  you’d surprised yourself with that. It had been months since you’d kissed anyone, but you weren’t as rusty as you thought. 

‘Oh my god, is the superhero gonna be my new dad?!’

Marcus suddenly jumped backwards at the sound of Jack’s voice. He was stood in the doorway, post-nap hair covered by a lopsided Chewbacca hood. His eyes were like dinner plates, even though he was grinning from ear to ear. 

‘Uh...’ you glanced between him and Marcus. ‘We were just...we were...’

‘I had something in my eye.’

‘He had something in his eye.’ You quickly agreed. ‘But now it’s out, so Marcus is gonna go home.’

He knew you didn’t mean it rudely - it was more of a desperation thing. The longer he stayed, the more questions Jack would come out with. Missy could have overheard too and that would have been twice as much to explain. So really, the sooner he got out, the better.

‘Yeah. I’ll uh, I’ll grab Missy.’ Marcus said, scratching the back of his head. ‘Thank you again for looking after her.’

‘You don’t need to keep thanking me.’ You shot back. 

He disappeared into the living room for a moment, reemerging with a sleeping Missy in his arms a moment later. Your eyes met again, and he gave you a soft smile.

‘I’ll call you.’

‘Yeah, sure.’  You nodded. ‘See you, Marcus.’

--

True to character, the next hour was spent being pelted with questions from your over-curious son. He didn’t shut up once when you were bathing him and he got even louder when you were reading him his best time story. On the bright side, you’d managed to get him to change out of his slightly manky Wookiee onesie and into a clean Buzz Lightyear one. Normally, you would have argued that he couldn’t live in pyjamas, but if it kept him quiet? It was a price you were willing to pay. 

‘Night, kiddo.’ You pressed a kiss to his forehead, switching on his nightlight. ‘Remember our deal, yeah? If I buy you a Happy Meal tomorrow, you won’t mention what you saw to any of your friends?’

‘You said library was bad.’

‘No, it’s bribery.’ You corrected him. ‘And do as I say, not as I do.’

‘Sounds bad, but okay.’ He sleepily murmured. ‘Night.’

‘Night.’ You stood up, flicking out his bedroom lights.

‘Wait, mum!’ Jack suddenly sat up, as though he’d remembered something. ‘You never said no.’

‘No to what, buddy?’

‘When I asked if the superhero was my new dad.’

Well, fuck. 

taglist: @naivara-duneimith @1-2-3-4-5metalfingers @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @lyanna-the-giantsbane @phoenixhalliwell @crazycookiecrumbles​ @bitchin-beskar​ @comphersjost​ {message me to be added!}

[cacti-are-like-flamingos]

oooh requests are open!! <3 i looove your writing so much! can you do headcanons for aizawa, fat gum, & hawks with a chubby/plus size/thiccc reader? like how the relationship would look & how they would reassure their partner when they were being insecure about their weight/looks! -🍃 (tysm btw!! i love reading everything you write!!)

Aizawa, Fat Gum, and Hawks w/ plus size!reader...

Aizawa Shouta

ahh Aizawa

the first person i simped  for from MHA

the memories *wipes away tear from eye*

let us commence

a relationship with this man is, in all honesty, quite frustrating

Aizawa is the pure embodiment, or at least almost a pure embodiment, of logic and practicality

so if you’re a person who’s on the more emotional side, there will be clashes every now and then

however, i can somewhat see him with a spontaneous lover --- it’s 3 in the morning, darkness blankets the apartment. The only source of light is the warm golden glow of the city lights that shines ever-so elegantly through the small openings of the window curtains. Aizawa is taking a short nap beside you, laying on his stomach with his arms folded underneath his head. Inky-black locks cascading down the naked muscles of his back, contrasting with the paleness of his skin. 

he’s a masterpiece --- well, err. A masterpiece that runs on the love of cats and unsweetened black coffee

with small kisses, you run a trail of love up from his bicep. With each kiss, you breathe soft positive affirmations into the skin; your honeyed voice and kisses stirring him from his sleep. And as you near closer to his cheek, he can feel a smile tugging at the ends of his lips. With your body so close, he wraps one of his previously folded arms around your waist, his hands squishing your lovely love handles

“Shouta~,” you would sing out in a whisper, ghosting your lips over his eyelids. Humming in acknowledgment, he grunts out a quiet, “What is it now?” 

“Let’s go get some Panda Express,” you can feel his body stiffen. A bashful smile on your lips as his eyes finally open, a full-on glare on display.

“I have work soon,” “Yeah, but we can have Panda Express sooner,” “N-,” “We can feed the strays in front of it,” “...okay.”

now as for when you’re having those moments of insecurity

as I’ve stated before, Aizawa is a man of common sense and logic. So in his head, there’s no reason for you to feel down when there’s nothing wrong with you; however, he will recognize the emotional aspect of it and so he’ll do his best to comfort you

while on one hand he’ll just straight-up bully the love into you with words like, “It makes no sense to doubt yourself. Doubting yourself does nothing but harm you so why the hell would you willingly do that?” or “Stop being stupid, you’re fine just as you are, idiot.”

other times he’ll prove his love to you with actions

sometimes, when he sees that unsure expression painted on your face, he’ll stop whatever it is he’s doing and goes to grab a book. When he comes back, he’ll tell you to scoot over on the sofa before laying himself down in between your legs. Making sure to wrap your legs under his neck, he’ll snuggle himself into the pillows that were your thigh. And as he read, he would place gentle kisses into them.

he won’t talk or anything, he’ll just settle there and read his little book 

idk for some reason, I can see him doing this

Taishiro Toyomitsu

HHHHHHHHHH

I love this man so much

can I just have a hug, please?

although, that is one of the things you should expect if you’re in a relationship with this sweetheart

he loves being close to you in whatever way possible. Hugs, cuddles --- he’ll even carry you if that is what you so desire

a relationship with him is filled with so much laughter and joy that it’s almost sickeningly sweet

ngl i canon the sex to be full of laughs and giggles 

Ooo he’s incredibly polite like uhh lol whenever you tell him to do something for you, he’ll say, “Yes ma’am,” like you know what I’m trying to say?

another thing

he completely understands how you’re feeling when societies standards become too overwhelming and you find yourself drowning in self-doubt and self-loathe

he’s gone through it himself

and so, when he finds you standing before your mirror, your hands gripping at your tummy and a frown on your face, that is when he tells you words of truth

also expect lots of food-related pet names

“Now, now buttercup. You know how much it pains me to see you so sad. Makes my heart ache so bad--- I need you to understand that you are beautiful no matter what. There is nothing wrong with how you are and how you look. Now, how about we go and eat some Takoyakis? Heard they’re half the price right now.” 

another thing he does involves you laying on top of him

if he’s laying on the couch and you suddenly are nearby, he’ll stretch his arms and do the little “come here” gesture. Upon arriving, he’ll pull you on top of him, while always making sure that his grip on you is proper and that you’re comfortable

we’re gonna have to admit that with him being a big man no matter what form he is in, he will always be an actual mattress to you

to you, he is your pillow and blanket

and once he has you in his arms, he’s not even gonna let you go until you genuinely have to leave 

ugh he’s just so cute

Hawks 

before i write anything, I would like to point out that this is how HAWKS is in a relationship

this is not KEIGO TAKAMI

this is his alter-ego and that’s that

anygays,,,

being in a relationship with Hawks is an adventure for many, many reasons. Because, not only does he loves to absolutely love to ruffle your feathers, but he’s just so full of energy

he loves to tease you in any way possible. Maybe he’ll say a dirty little thing into your ear or maybe he’ll command one of his feathers so hide stuff from you. Such as that one time where you thought you had dropped that an earring and as you searched for it for a whole literal hour, he watched you. 

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE UTTER AUDACITY THIS MAN HAD

LIKE HE HAD THE FUCKING FEATHER FLOATING RIGHT BEHIND YOUR HEAD, THE EARRING JUST DANGLING THERE

WOW

but i must admit that he mainly does stuff like this to get a better view of your ass

he’s just so fascinated by its jiggliness

even when you walk he can see it jiggle

also please do buy him chicken related items

ngl he most likely has a drumstick little keychain thing

now then

how would Hawks comfort you?

hmm

tbh I don’t see him being of the vocal sort in either side of his personality--- he’s more of an action-based person, or at least that’s how I perceive him to be

whenever you’re feeling down, he sits behind you and pulls in between his legs. Wrapping his arms ever-so-gently around your waist before pulling you closer, his face burying itself into the crook of your neck as he in-take your scent. To him, you smell like home To him, you represent everything good in his life

and then, when he feels the tension in your muscles lighten, he’ll spread his wings as far as they can go before wrapping them around you. Enveloping you in a cocoon of sunset-hued feathers, their touch soft like silk on the skin.

it’s absolutely divine

...

(A/N): I’m not good at comforting whatsoever so apologies if it’s somewhat shitty, I really did try.

Feel free to request, just read the rules.

Hope you enjoyed!

[nnightskiess]

‧₊° 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐡 𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐤𝐞 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

‧₊° 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐘/𝐍 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩. 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐘/𝐍 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧?

To say Y/N had been working hard, would be a real understatement. Even with only a few bites of food in her system, the girl had pushed herself all week to upkeep their little camp and help provide for the rest of the girls. No matter how much the other girls had protested for her to take a break, she had kept going and going and going. Sitting around and doing nothing would only make her feel guilty.

After Leah had lashed out and persisted for her to wear a baseball cap to take the heat out of her face, and thus lessen the severe sunburn she was already sporting, no one else had been able to make the girl listen to them. Thus Leah made sure to stay close, offering the girl water, pushing her to work in the shade or making her splash some seawater in her neck to try and keep her a bit cool. It was all she could do and all that Y/N accepted. 

“Leave it!” 

Y/N’s yell echoed over the sound of the waves, making everyone’s head turn to her and Dot, who was standing next to her— both girls holding onto the axe. 

“You need to take a fucking break or we’ll have to bury you next.” Dot yelled back but there was less hostility in her tone— she mostly worried.

“We’ll have to dig nine graves if I don’t do anything!”

“So you think we’re not doing enough? Low blow, Y/N.” Rachel chimed in.

“Stop putting words in my mouth!” Her exhaustion and the pain everywhere in her body didn’t help to keep calm towards the others.

Fatin stood between the two, quickly trying to divert the attention, “Look, as much as I love me a hard-working, independent woman, I think it’s best if you just come with me and relax a little. Let’s get some shade, come on.” Fatin grabbed the girl by the shoulders but Y/N didn’t really budge to walk away with her.

Rachel rolled her eyes, “You’re her polar opposite. Not doing anything doesn’t help either, Fatin.” 

“Uh- this isn’t about me, but fine, there’s some truth to that.” she shrugged nonchalantly. 

“I’m sure Y/N didn’t mean it like that.” Nora mindlessly trudged towards the girls, the others following her actions.

“Oh, didn’t she? We’re working our asses of in this heat while my body is screaming for food, water and rest and she has the fucking audacity to-”

“Man, leave her the fuck alone.” Toni suddenly appeared next to Y/N and grasped the axe out of Dot’s hands before giving it back to the girl next to her. “She’s working so fucking hard to keep us alive, keep things going, and all you guys fucking do is attack her for it.”

Rachel’s lip curled into a sneer. She was doing her best to swallow back the bitter reply she had prepared and walked off. 

“You good?” Toni grabbed the girl’s forearm to get her attention after the lack of response. 

Y/N mustered up some energy to smile in return, “Yeah, I...I’m going to get us some leaves for the roof.” She gestured to the forest behind her, getting a nod of acknowledgement from Toni.

“You know I meant well, right?” Dot furrowed her eyebrows, still feeling worried. “At least let me go with you then?”

“I know. But I can’t stop, you know that too, right? We need a solid shelter. And no, it’s best if you stay here so you can hold down the fort.”

“But-” Leah finally joined the conversation, having observed from the sidelines until now.

“It’s alright, Leah. I feel alright, I’m fine. I can keep going.” Y/N awkwardly adjusted the cap, trying not to touch her painful sunburned head. Leah decided against trying to change Y/N’s mind, noticing the persistent look in the girl’s eyes. But the way Y/N winced when she brought her hands up to get her hair out of her face, didn’t go unnoticed by her.

Y/N tried to hide how tired she really was and continued, “When the shelter is done, I might take you up on that relaxation offer.” She turned to Fatin, “But right now it doesn’t feel good to rest, knowing that we could be having another sandstorm or rainstorm tonight. I appreciate your effort, though.”

Fatin smiled sympathetically at the girl before watching her walk off towards the forest.

“I don’t... I don’t feel comfortable having her go alone.” Leah bit her lip and faced Dot and Fatin.

“Me neither, man, but you know she gets prickly when she feels like we watch over her like a child.”

“Well, we kind of do watch over her like a child...” Martha added, a guilty expression on her face.

“Yeah, but only because we mean well...” Shelby bit her lip, watching Y/N disappear into the forest.

“Try telling a growling lion that you mean well and just want to pet it... see how that goes.” Fatin snorted but immediately kept quiet when she saw no one laughing along, only Nora gave her a hesitant smile.

Leah had zoned out and suddenly turned to where Y/N had walked off to, realising she needed to leave now if she wanted to catch up to the girl. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Gonna help her.”

Was all she said before abandoning the group.

Y/N tried to ignore the most prominent aching— the one in her head — and tried to zone out all the pain she was feeling with every step. Her throat started to feel like a knife every time she swallowed and her limbs were on fire. But still, she pushed on to take one step after the other. She knew Toni and Dot had cut the bushes closest to camp already, and therefore she trekked further into the heart of the rainforest, scouting for whatever may come in handy. But it got harder with each step. Her vision seemed to blur and the trees started to sway from left to right and as she looked down at her feet, she saw not only two, but four of them. She let out a shaky breath, realising this wasn’t good and what would probably happen next. Dot had been right, she had needed a break after all. Y/N tried to look around as much as she could with her current vision, the headache not helping, but she could no longer make out any depth, let alone find a nice tree to rest her back against. Before she knew it, she had fallen face forward and slid off the path, landing a few meters down into a thick pile of mud. She heard the few items she had managed to find fall after her before they landed harshly on her back. One last look around and her vision went black.

Leah’s worries were already high the moment she stepped into the forest. The slow blinking of Y/N’s eyes and slow, painful movements overall, the split seconds she’d grab her head or stomach and the way she had taken deep breaths had made her worry for the girl. But after forty minutes of walking around trying to find Y/N, to no avail, that worry started to grow. She couldn’t go back now, she needed to find Y/N first.

It might have been the lack of sense of time, but back at camp, the girls were starting to worry where the two girls were at. 

Dot had been drawing with a stick in the sand before pointing with it at the sky, “Sun’s going down in two hours, should we go look for them?”

“No.” The corner of Fatin’s mouth curled up into a smirk. She stifled a laugh, earning confused looks from the rest of the girls who had put their work on hold for the day. “You guys!” She rolled her eyes and sighed, “Let them have their fun.”

Toni snorted, knowing what she was going on about.

“Um-” Shelby rubbed her neck, feeling slightly awkward, “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

“Have I seriously been the only one who noticed?”

Rachel shrugged, “Probably. We’re too busy working to even notice stuff like that.”

Fatin made a mocking but playful face and sat up. 

“They both like to retreat and sit alone now and then, right? I’m sure everything’s okay.” Martha tried to lift everyone’s spirits but it was clear that most of them were now starting to worry, not taking Fatin’s remark seriously.

Dot stood up. 

“I say we should start looking for them.”

“Y/N?!” Leah’s voice cracked. If only Y/N could hear her, she could yell back or follow her voice, even if she wasn’t near. “Y/N!” 

Leah frantically looked around and slipped, thick mud now coating her clothes.

“Leah, are you okay!?” The rest of the girls had found her and helped the girl back up. Leah’s breath was laboured and she held her head in panic, not even realising her hands were muddy. She frantically looked around.

“Leah, Leah, hey-” Fatin walked from the back and grabbed the girl’s arms, “Breathe, tell us what happened.”

“I don’t know- I-I don’t know what happened, I don’t-” She looked around again, yelling for the girl. “We have to find her. S-She’s fine… I mean, she has to be, right?“

Toni opened her mouth, “You never caught up with her?”

Leah’s eyes landed on Toni for only a split second before she shook her head and looked around again, hoping to catch a glimpse of the dirty white top Y/N had been wearing that day.

“Hey, I’m sure we’ll find her. Okay?” Fatin tried to reassure her friend.

“Yeah, knowing her she's probably busy cutting down the whole rainforest.” Shelby tried to lighten the mood as well, but it went over Leah’s head.

“Not to piss on anyone’s parade, but it took us a good while to even find Leah, the sun’s going down soon and as much as I would hate leaving without Y/N, I don’t think it’s such a great idea to walk around at night.” Dot twirled the stick in her hand, hating having to break the news. “We should call it. You know, start out fresh in the morning...”

Leah’s voice was harsh from yelling, “We have to keep looking.” It was clear to everyone that she was on the verge of breaking down, “We can’t stop looking.”

“Leah-” 

“We have to find her...” Her voice now merely above a whisper, the birds of the rainforest filling the silence. “Please...” She stated more than asked. The girls looked at her. They were worried too, but Leah seemed to be panicking even more. She scanned everyone’s faces, but when no one said a word, her heart sank into her stomach.

“S-She went in here for all of you-” She pointed a finger, “She-”

“She’s right.” Toni nodded, “Leaving her alone is a really shitty way of saying thank you for all that she’s done.”

Leah didn’t need to hear more and yelled out the girl’s name again, the others now following her lead. They hiked a good half hour before Martha stopped to pick something off the ground. It was completely covered in mud, but the shape was still inevitably that of an axe.

“Guys...” She held it in the air.

“She had that with her.” Toni nodded, remembering she’d given it to Y/N. 

“Why would she leave it here?” Marty added, “Do you think something happened?”

“Y/N!” They all started yelling, realising the girl couldn’t be far now.

“Wait, wait, wait-” Rachel, who could’ve punched the girl just a few hours before, was just as worried as the rest when she pointed at the evident slip marks in the mud. “Do you think she could have slipped?” 

“Most definitely.” Dot winced and was already making up a plan when she tried to determine how deep it was. 

“That’s her!”

Leah’s panicked yell got their attention. She pointed at something down below. It was hard to see, but if you tried, you could see the messy mop of hair and the clothes dirtied with mud lying sideways. 

“Okay, we need to make a plan-”

Leah shut down every rational thought the moment she saw Y/N’s unconscious body and slowly but clumsily let herself slide down onto her belly. Toni followed her lead immediately, yelling angrily when she got down, “Don’t stand there, fucking do something!” 

“Wait, let’s think this through first before we’re all stuck down there.” Dot stopped them. While the girls above them were trying to figure out what to do, Toni and Leah were tending to Y/N.

Toni scrunched up her face when Leah turned Y/N to lay on her lap. Y/N’s right temple was heavily coated with blood and mud. 

“That doesn’t look too good.”  

The sudden move of her body made Y/N open her eyes, which didn’t go unnoticed by the two girls holding her. 

“Easy, I’ve got you.” Leah grabbed her cheeks to try and get a better look at her eyes, to see how responsive she really was.

Y/N suddenly realised what had happened and wanted to sit up straight until two sets of hands gently pushed her back down. She let out a cry of pain immediately.

“Sssh, just lay down, it looks like you hit your head.” But when Leah squeezed her arm to try and comfort the girl, Y/N let out another yelp.

“I’m not an expert but her elbow looks fucked up.” Leah shot Toni a look, telling her to keep her mouth shut in front of Y/N.

“I don’t feel so good.” Y/N managed to get out.

“I know- Shit, um- J-Just hold my hand.” Leah mumbled curse words under her breath, feeling terribly out of control. She didn’t know what to do or how to help the girl.

“Everything okay down there? We’re sending Rachel to help. Can Y/N stand on her own?”

“No, her arms fucked and something hit her head.” Toni replied, sending an apologetic look Leah’s way when she shot her another look. 

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t pass out on me!” Leah saw Y/N’s hazy eyes slowly open and close.

“Does anyone have water with them?!” Leah panicked. 

A bag of pecan nuts hit Toni in the head, who let out a grunt. 

“Sorry...” Martha gasped.

“It’s fine. Can you give me a heads-up on the bottle of water, though?”

“Watch out!” 

Toni waddled on her knees through the thick mud back to Y/N who was now sitting in between Leah’s legs, leaning back against the girl’s torso.

“When’s the last time you ate? Or drank?” Leah asked softly, trying not to worsen Y/N’s headache. Y/N only shrugged in return.

“Open up,” Leah held back the girl’s head and helped her drink a bit, then splattered the remaining water in her face and neck. Y/N was tired, but tried her best to keep her eyes open, if only to soothe Leah’s worries.

“Here, this’ll help.” Toni watched with a worried smile as Y/N slowly ate a few pieces. 

“Hey, let’s get you out of here, alright?” Rachel appeared with a rope made out of clothes in her hands. “We’re going to tie this around you, push you up from here so the others can pull you up. 

Y/N was too tired to reply or acknowledge the girl.

“Careful with her arm!” Leah panicked when Rachel made a move to grab her. Rachel glared at her, she wasn’t stupid.  

Toni grabbed the other side while Leah slowly pushed the girl up by her back. They tied the made up rope around the girl’s torso.

“Thank you...” Y/N mumbled out. 

“You’re gonna be alright, okay?”

The sun had gone down the minute they returned to camp. They had to tell a worried Nora everything that had happened after she saw a tired and bloody Y/N being supported by the girls. Dot had immediately given the girl some medicine and as she had dozed off, Leah made sure to gently rid the girl’s face and temple from the dried up blood and mud so that Dot could clean the wound and bandage it up.

She dapped the damp cloth onto Y/N’s temple, who furrowed her eyebrows in her sleep in return. Leah smiled softly to herself, the nerves and worries finally washing away now that she knew Y/N would be fine. 

Y/N went to turn around in her sleep but Leah quickly stopped her from putting weight onto her arm. After Dot had examined it, it seemed less severe as they had all initially thought. The wound in her elbow was deep, yes, but it was better than a broken bone. And the gash on her temple would probably leave a nasty scar, but that was all.

Y/N opened her eyes slowly after feeling the resistance. 

“I’m sorry.” Leah whispered out, a sympathetic smile on her face. “You were going to hurt your elbow. Feeling better?”

Y/N mumbled a bit, “Mm, I think...” She rubbed the bridge of her nose, “Don’t know if this is just the after effects of the meds or if it’s still from the exhaustion and dehydration.”

“Or your sunburn.” Nora appeared behind the two, “If you get a bad sunburn, some symptoms might be headache, fever, nausea and fatigue...” She smiled hesitantly when the two stared at her. “Here, this might help.” 

Leah grabbed the bottle of after sun and inspected it suspiciously before eyeing Nora again, “Where did you get this?”

“Oh... it washed up on shore.. when you were all gone.”

“Thanks, Nora.” 

Nora trudged back to the rest sitting around the campfire.

Y/N quickly dodged her head to the side when Leah made a move to smear the after sun on her face.

“What are you doing?!”

Leah sighed, “Let me help you.”

“You know, we could all use a bit of after sun. I don’t really need it.” 

“Y/N.”

“I’m good, my sunburn isn’t that bad, it doesn’t hurt.”

“Stop being so incredibly stubborn and let me take care of you for once, okay?”

Y/N widened her eyes and after a few seconds of silence she let Leah smear the cool ointment onto her cheeks. A content hum left her lips, she immediately felt her skin calm down.

“Feels better, huh?” Leah playfully smeared some onto the girl’s nose, who only hissed in return.

“I’m good, it doesn’t hurt.” Leah mocked.

“Fuck you.” 

The two chuckled. Y/N quickly found herself staring into Leah’s eyes, who in return, was concentrated on tending to the girl’s face. However, Leah noticed after a while. She stopped her movements when she realised why she had been extra worried today— she cared for Y/N way more than just a friend should. 

She inched closer to Y/N’s face before coming to an abrupt stop, the hesitance taking over for just a split second— what if Y/N didn’t feel the same? But the look in the wounded girl’s eyes spoke differently. 

Leah planted a quick and shy kiss on Y/N’s lips. Leah sat back up immediately and cleared her throat, looking around as if nothing had happened. What the fuck had she done? A sudden tug on the hem of her shirt brought her back just mere inches away from the girl’s face. Y/N pulled her into another kiss, one that lasted longer than a second but was still just as gentle as before. Y/N let out a lighthearted chuckle when Leah pulled back.

“W-What?”

“You’ve got a little...” Y/N smeared out the after sun on Leah’s cheek before looking down, feeling embarrassed.

“Thank you for coming after me. Fatin told me you didn’t want me to go alone. I should really listen to you more often.”

Leah laughed at Y/N’s cheeky smile, “Yeah! You should!” 

Another moment was spent in silence before Leah opened her arms and sat back against the log, “Come here.”

Y/N let out a content sigh as she relaxed in the brunette’s tight hold while the two of them watched the flickering of the fire. 

Life on the island was rough, but having Leah made it so much easier.