#I HAD TO DO IT LIKE . NO EXAGGERATION PROBABLY 50 TIMES

[designernishiki]

to anyone trying to platinum yakuza 0 and/or aiming to win all climax battles in yakuza 0: Proving Grounds 8 will break you psychologically. sorry about that

[barleyo]

BARELYYYYY write another daddy Leon fic, AND MY LIFE WILL BE YOURSSS

867-5309.

Real Dad! Leon Kennedy X F! Reader (smut)

A/N: this fic is shitty and short, sorry ^_^ i literally have no drive or desire to write anymore, idk what's going on with me. probably some type of brain worm! but i thought i should at least try to get something written :3 (ily whoever knows what song the title is referencing)

Tags: incest (daddy-daughter), phone sex, age gap (21 and 50-ish), mutual masturbation, no actual sex, idk dude i'm not sure what i was going for with this

Wordcount: 719

!!! DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT/DARK CONTENT !!!

"Little note wasn't lying," Leon said into his phone, sitting in his car near the back of the bar's mostly empty parking lot. "What's this about a good time, doll?"

It was too late for him to be out like this. Too late for him to be this far from sober. Too late for him to be calling some random number that was stuck to the urinal partition. And, of course, it was much too late for him to be this horny.

"Depends," a voice, your voice, spoke on the line. "What kinda night is it, mister?"

Thank god he was drunk, or else he would've heard right through your overly sensual, fake tone. Thank god you were stupid, or else you would've known it was him right from the sleazy nicknames he used.

"Tonight?" 

Dirty fucking man. His hands were practically already in his pants. Roughly palming at himself over his tented jeans to the sound of some mystery broad's voice. 

"It's a real good night, babydoll. I think you could make it better though." He pulled his zipper down, cock pulsating desperately. 

You giggled on the other line, absolutely drowning in the sudden flush of attention. That's why you slipped the damn sticky note with your burner's number into the men's room all those nights ago, hoping some horned up man old enough to be your dad would ring your line and validate you. Little did you know, that man would truly be your dad. 

"Sounds like you could use it. I don't mind 'chatting' for a bit," you said, hand finding its way all over your body. "Tell me, y'touching yourself already?"

"To a voice like yours? Of course I am."

Leon freed himself from the confines of his pants, eyes shifting anxiously as he looked around the sparse parking lot. He was a grown man, he'd jerked off to hotlines and voices on the phone all the time. In public, though? New territory completely. 

He squeezed his shaft, feeling it pulse in his hand. Thing had a heartbeat of its own at that point as it practically begging to catch some friction and relief. 

"Glad you called," you said, sliding your panties off while you spoke. You tossed them in the corner of your room mindlessly. "I've been waiting for someone to find that little note."

Leon opened his mouth to respond when he heard a soft moan escape your mouth. That was enough for him to start. He wanted to take it slow, to enjoy himself, but who was he kidding? He was a needy fucker and he wanted to cum ASAP. 

"What'cha doing right now?" he was finally able to ask, swallowing thickly as he pumped his length. "Using those cute fingers, doll?"

You hummed through an over exaggerated moan, dramatizing and putting on a show for your 'mystery man.' 

"Sure am," you said, finger curled, reaching your g-spot the best you could with the limited length it had. "But it's not as good as the real thing."

He could practically hear the pout in your voice, and it drove him crazy. You sounded like a bratty little baby, just his type. 

"Awh, aren't you a poor thing? Bet some older cock would do you good, huh?" 

He heard the squelch of your cunt through the phone speaker. It picked up the sound of your palm hitting your clit, and the little gasps of air you let out each time you slammed your fingers in.

"Guess so." You bit your bottom lip, holding back an excited squeal at his words. "You offering?" 

Leon chuckled dryly, watching the tip of his cock weep with pre as he stroked himself. "Oh, someone's eager. Sure," he said, amused smirk on his face as he started to near his climax, hand still working furiously over his cock. "I'm offering. I could use a cute thing like you, anyway. It'll be much better than just hearing ya through the phone."

"We'll see about that," you teased, phone clicking off of the line just as he started to cum. 

(XXX)-867-5309: *sent location* 

(XXX)-867-5309: pull up ;)

Wait, that address? That was his house...

"Fuck."

Leon's head fell back on the car seat headrest, brain going a mile a minute. Hand still covered in stray spurts of cum.

"Fuck!"

[redstarwriting]

the clash | ii. time bomb

hobie brown x goth!reader

word count: 1.5k

genre: enemies to lovers

warnings: language, insults, hobie hating you, you hating hobie, y’all almost fight twice lmao

a/n: felt bad only posting the first chapter, so here’s the second one as well! i’ll get the third one out as soon as i can, but a bitch has work tomorrow and the next day. please enjoy chapter two everyone! and if you wanna be added to the taglist just let me know! :)

now reading: ii. time bomb

previous chapter: i. hey, ho! let’s go!

next chapter: iii. black planet

───────────────────────────────

Hobie swings his way to where he’s sure Gwen is, and in doing so he will probably also find Miles and Pavitr. He’s sure he looks like if someone said the wrong thing to him, he would punch them in the face, because honestly? He just might. And he doesn’t care. You pissed him off. With your stupid opinions. People like you are the reason anarchy can never succeed, you’re either all in or you’re all out. He hates the way you dismissed him, which is a shame because he really thought you were drop-dead gorgeous.

Speaking of drop, that thought makes him drop. Like, actually. He face plants.

He groans. Fucking hell, he’s never had to deal with this type of hatred before. Usually, it’s just cut and dry ‘I hate you cause xyz’, but fuck you are making it hard. While he hates you for what you said, he loves your style, and he respects you standing your ground and not giving into him with your beliefs, but at the same time, you piss him off. He glances around, “Meant to do that.” No one in particular hears him, but he quickly webs off again. He searches for bright blond hair, and sure enough, he sees Gwen. She’s chilling in the common room Hobie claimed as his own a while back. He claimed it by… redecorating. He just made it feel more like home, and since Miguel is such a lame ass, he didn’t appreciate all the colorful spray paint and broken furniture. But Hobie doesn’t really give a fuck. As he gets closer, he can see that Miles and Pavitr are there too, and… absolutely fucking not.

He lands directly next to you with an unamused look on his face. “And who invited you into my home away from home?” You look at him and roll your eyes. “This your place? Well, that explains why it looks like someone gave Mayday Parker a 50-pack of markers and told her to go to town in here–”

“Ha ha. Funny.”

“–and to answer your question, I invited myself,” you say smugly, and he narrows his eyes at you. “Don’t try to make me like you, it’s not gonna work, love,” he growls, and everyone can tell by the way he said love that he certainly did not mean it as a term of endearment. “I wouldn’t dream of it, mate,” you say, imitating his accent in over-exaggerated way. “I don’t think they are actually calling him their mate,” Pavitr whispers to Miles, who gives him an expression practically dripping in ‘no shit.’ Hobie tears his gaze away from you and looks at Gwen. “We need to show this twat around,” he huffs, and Gwen raises her eyebrows. “We? Isn’t that your job,” she says, and Miles nods. “Yeah, I remember you said you made a deal with Miguel that–”

“I don’t give a fuck if it’s my ‘job,’ when have I ever followed the rules of a fuckin’ job?” he seethes, and you snicker. “Aw, how endearing, the punk rebel has a job. I’ll be sure to go to Miguel and tell him you’re doing amazing, so that you don’t get fired, in fact, you could get promoted!”

“That’s it,” Hobie growls and turns to you, grabbing the neck of his guitar and getting ready to use it. You smirk and slightly crouch, ready to jump away or towards him, based on his next move. “OKAY! Okay, we’ll help you just put the damn guitar down,” Miles says, jumping between the two of you. Hobie looks at him before looking at you with a deep frown. “I don’t need help. I just need to make sure other people are here, so I don’t murder this nitwit,” he says, tossing his guitar back so it hangs off his back again. “If anythin’, you’re helpin’ them.”

“I don’t need help either. Especially not yours. I’ll find my way around here myself,” you say, crossing your arms. He turns and offers you a smile. “Well now that you say you definitely don’t want my help, looks like I’m gonna be that friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and assist you.”

“My hero,” you say sarcastically, pushing past him and walking out of the room. He motions for the others to follow you first, and walks out last, slinking in the back. Gwen takes up the role he usually plays in showing everyone around. You nod and listen, occasionally asking a question and cracking a joke. He hates to admit it, but your jokes are actually very funny. It’s refreshing to hear deadpan, straightforward, dry comedy instead of the puns and silly jokes all the other Spider-People love to make. But he doesn’t laugh. Doesn’t even crack a smile. Just watches you.

‘Like a creep,’ you think, catching him staring at you for what feels like the 50th time. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the attention you were getting from him. Truthfully, he’s probably the most attractive person you’ve ever laid eyes on.

Such a tragedy he’s also the worst person you’ve ever had the displeasure to speak with.

“Your suit is so cool, by the way,” Miles says to you, and you give him a grin. “Thanks. Made it myself.”

“Yeah. I can tell,” you hear Hobie pipe up, and your head snaps towards him. “Because it’s so stylish, fashionable, and better than anything you could do yourself?”

“No. ‘Cause it looks like it was put together by a colorblind toddler. If you look close enough, the blacks don’t even match,” he says, smirking. Now this was a lie. All the black in your suit was a perfect shade of raven, he just knew it would piss you off. And it did. “Fuck you. At least my suit doesn’t look like a twelve-year-old who just discovered Hot Topic for the first time,” you hiss, and he scoffs. “Watch your fuckin’ mouth there, mate.”

“You watch yours, mate.”

“Okay, both of you shhhhhhh!” Gwen says, and you both look at her. “Don’t tell me what to do–”

“Stop talking like me!”

“What?! You stop talking like me!”

“Oh my God, the romantic tension is through the roof right now!” Pavitr suddenly pipes up, and now the both of you are staring at him, dark expressions on your faces. “I’d rather be eaten alive by a single piranha so it would take days until I finally succumbed to the sweet release of death,” you hiss and Hobie nods. “Finally. Somethin’ we agree on.” He turns and looks at you, and you roll your eyes at him. “Way to de-escalate, buddy,” Miles whispers to Pavitr, and Pavitr sighs as Miles walks a little faster to catch up with everyone else. “But I was being serious…”

Gwen continues to show you around, and when she finally finishes, you all are back at ‘Hobie’s common room.’ You walk back inside and sit on the tattered and broken-down couch. The way the room is decorated is kind of cool, you must admit. You’re just not a fan of the mismatched colors everywhere. And it could use a couple more decorations. Like bat skeletons. Or just live bats. That would be adorable. “Thanks for showing me around,” you thank Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr. “Not you, though,” you say to Hobie and he snorts. “Good. I wouldn’t want you to thank me for anything.”

“Why do you two hate each other so much? Didn’t you literally just meet?” Miles asks, looking exhausted from the snarky remarks coming from both of you. “We did,” you confirm. “And we don’t get along cause they don’t have any strong belief system.”

“Yes, I do! I’m just realistic, and he can’t understand that,” you say and he rolls his eyes. “Realistic, eh? I already told you I led a rebellion.”

“And I told you it doesn’t matter because everyone is shit. How many villains have you fought since this rebellion you led?”

“None of your fuckin’ business.”

“So, you’ve fought at least one. What did that rebellion get you then, huh?”

“I recommend you shut your fuckin’ mouth before I shut it for you.”

“Please, do try. I need a new skeleton for my collection,” you growl and the two of you jump at each other. Luckily, Gwen and Miles web both of you and hold you back. “That’s enough of that,” Gwen says. “I have an idea,” Miles says, “why don’t we go visit your universe, (Y/n)? Maybe then Hobie can see why you’re so… negative.”

“I’m not goin’ anywhere near that place,” Hobie nearly yells. “Good. I don’t want you there anyway.”

“On second thought, I think it might be very eye-opening to see the world you grew up in. Maybe I can team up with your sinister six and put you in your place,” he spits out at you, causing you to glare at him and flip him off again. “A field trip sounds fun, especially after all this just happened. Maybe it will help the two of you lighten up,” Pavitr says, and you both roll your eyes. “Fine. You can all come. But if you step one toe out of line, Hobie–”

“What? You’ll yell at me?”

“No. I’ll torture you to the point that you would beg me for death.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”

───────────────────────────────

『 tag list 』

@casmosmoon* @khaleesihavilliard​ @sparklyphantom​​ @weyrrii*

*if you are italicized - i am unable to tag you for whatever reason, feel free to reach out and see if we can fix the issue

[nonotnolan]

Group Project

"I don't care if most people skip this step," Aiden said, taking a pre-swap photo with Nathan. "I still don't completely trust Swapper technology, just... I don't have many other options. Professor Carmichael has been riding our asses all semester, and this damn group project is worth 50% of my grade. I, uhh... I appreciate you doing this for me."

"You're the one paying me," Nathan said, grinning into the mirror with two thumbs up. "As long as you follow the basic rules, I don't really care what sort of extra safeguards you want to throw in. And don't worry, I think it's cute. Commencing swap... now."

Aiden barely had time to panic before he found himself staring up into his former face. The biggest shock was feeling Nathan's coiffed hair brushing against his forehead. The nerd came well recommended by Frat Row-- at this point, he probably spent more time outside of his body than inside of it. Certainly it hadn't been Nathan spending time at the gym to earn these arms. He had graduated college last year, but instead of getting a full time job, he hired out his services to anyone who needed to pass tests or make presentations. At $500 per swap, the legality was the only barrier to making it into a career. "So, you remember the rules, right?" said Aiden's body.

Hearing his voice like that was incredibly odd. "Yeah, we've got to stay swapped for 48 hours or else the Campus safety test will know we used our Swappers. You aren't liable if you get caught, I already paid you up front, no refunds. We had to jailbreak our Swappers to override the 12 hour standard limit, so I'll get arrested if I try to contact customer service. Anything else I'm missing?"

"No hard drugs, but any amount of sex and alcohol is fair game," Nathan said, as he reached into Aiden's waistband to fondle his new package. "Nice dick, my guy," he said, giving him another thumbs up. "That's gotta be, what... at least seven inches?"

Aiden blushed, deeply embarrassed to see his body acting so corny. "A bit under seven and a half, yeah," he said. "Aa-anyway, I'll be at the house if you need me."

"Have fun," Nathan said, giving him an exaggerated wink and slapping him on the shoulders. "I've swapped with several of your brothers. I know you're gonna have a good time."

Preston was outside, taking advantage of one of the last warm afternoons before fall turned into winter. "Damn, bro, you hired Nathan? Looks like someone was worried about failing their classes. So, who are you?"

"It's Aiden," I said, feeling very self conscious about my newer, frailer body as I found myself staring at Preston's hairy chest.

He just laughed. "Wait, Aiden? I didn't even know you had a Swapper! Damn, dude, you must be desperate to pass."

"I... yeah," I said, avoiding eye contact. Was Nathan a gay man? That was fine if he was, just... did that sort of thing stick to the body? He'd never really noticed the cleft of Preston's chin before, but he was-- Nathan's body was-- incredibly horny.

"A word of advice, Newbie," he said, sitting down his book. "Most of the Swapper nerds, or at least the ones worth hiring? They're gay men. Don't try to fight it. Just enjoy the ride. You'll be back to your no-homo self in 48 hours." He flexed his chest, letting his pecs bounce. "Or maybe you'll be a bit more worldly," he said, laughing as Aiden tried not to sneak a glance. "Getting a compliment from a gay dude feels real good."

Aiden practically sprinted toward the main doors, eager to escape the awkward situation. "Yeah I'll keep that in mind thanks bye," he muttered, cursing Nathan's gym shorts and their inability to hide an erection.

"Well, damn bro, look who it is! Someone hired Nathan!"

Sitting over in the lobby were two other guys who were using their Swappers for the weekend. The guy in black was probably Carter-- the dude had a lot of Puma gear, and it was possible he'd changed shirts at some point. Besides, it was hard to imagine anyone else scowling that hard. The blonde guy, however... that could be anyone.

"Uhh, hey... guys..." Aiden said, quickly learning that Nathan had a foot fetish. "You, uhhh... you also have a group project tomorrow or something?"

The blonde guy just laughed, closing his laptop as he stood up. "Oh, I've got a group project in mind, alright. I was just telling Carter here, even though both of us look like twinks, neither one of us are really bottoms. But with Nathan's body here, well... I think that solves our problem. Don't you?"

He nodded, following wordlessly after the two men as they entered the nearby library room for more privacy. Just enjoy the ride, Preston had said. Aiden suspected he was going to be doing a lot of riding tonight.

[nishnormp]

conagher brainrot

Sometimes I think about the fact that in Loose Cannon, dell's father never gets alluded to . like at all . Fred as the shabby little bridge between radigan and dell makes me a little sad though, so I'll just be looking at weird implications and make a poorly organized set of points

With how confidently Dell talks about his grandfather's personality and the state of his blueprints, I can only assume that a)he was practically raised by him or, b)his dad talked a lot about him (and by extension fred and radigan were close) while radigan was off doing...whatever

Dell is a genius, but a lot of his gear (most, actually) comes from his grandfather's blueprints (gunslinger over there was radigan's original design). Hell, even dell's iconic sentry gun was radigan's blueprint.

If you look at the first panel I showed, dell is immediately hesitant of his ability to fix it, but switches up just as fast when blutarch mentioned radigan's blueprints, blutarch even mentions that they've plagued him for 60ish years bc they were written in complete gibberish. HOWEVER, bluetarch has also been shown to be a complete idiot, so its possible that the blueprints were in english, but just completely incomprehensible to him.

Now, lets go back to the A and B scenarios earlier. The reason I mentioned some estrangement between family members is because things start to...not make sense. Let's say that all three conaghers were quite close (with fred somehow not having any time conflicts with his job and all), how come dell never alludes to him at all when referring to a 'mr conagher' in the field? How come fred never told him that radigan's blueprints were exhumed after his death? Dell's spy domination voicelines drops the lore that it was his dad that taught him how to deal with backstabbers, so if they were open about the nature of their work how come that one important tidbit was never told to him? There could maybe be some physical distance due to work and whatnot, but I cant imagine fred not revealing that about his father to his own son.

There's also...whatever this picture is. This is a photo of radigan in the years proceeding his influence under australium, which conflicts with the comics' and dell's portrayal of him. Its possible that this is merely him a few more years down the road, when both fred and dell are fully grown and out by themselves- but in that case that would be a TIGHT window for his death, blutarch's 60-year stressing over deciphering his notes WHILE fred's still in BLU, and the news to reach dell by the time HE'S the new engie.

The fact that fred is still up and kicking in the current day (hes pushing in the 70 at the VERY LEAST) also makes the timeline stricter, since theres no way he was born during radigan's youth (makes the estrangement thing more likely too cuz are you telling me that fred never corrected dell at all/dell dgaf that radigan was more like a jolly aussie than anything, or that they BOTH didn't know too much about him)

The hundred years thing is maaybe an exaggeration, I did the math and there's no way a literal hundred years had passed between the creation of the first LEM and dell's employment (this is with the consideration of 1890 being the absolute earliest time, and even then it reached 1990). HOWEVER the half a century (or 50 years) thing is probably, as it lands square into the 1940s-- a decade into fred's employment in BLU.

The 1890s was when Radigan was called to create the machine, and its also the time that is referred to right after the 60 years thing. So if the machine was built 60 years ago, but only started to malfunction around the 50 year mark; then there would be one entire decade of the thing just breaking down with no one to fix it.

Did fred get access to the notes? I'm not actually sure. There's this moment in the comics where he flubbs with the immortality machines, but I think there's more to it

"more biology than engineering" my brother in christ you have fully functional prosthetic LEGS and your guy best friend (who btw is a sniper aka guy whose profession relies on eyesight the most) let you pluck out his eyes and replace them with better ones. There's also the offhand mention of "lookin' at the old man's robots" aka probably referring to radigan's creations, but if we go by the thinking that radigan's notes were never shown to him-- that would mean he was reverse engineering them.

And honestly? It makes sense, esp if you consider tfc engie's gear in his own game.

TFC was created waaay before tf2 so the lore implications were most likely not intended at all, but just. Compare fred's sentry guns to the blueprints that radigan has on the walls of his workshop. The dispenser and the teleporter? Way different, and the dispenser even functions differently (it has to be restocked, but it can also damage people when it is destroyed by tfc engie). Fred had big shoes to fill, but he managed to live up to them anyways; I think cheavy would have kicked him out otherwise. The TFC gen is more militant than tf2's, and with how tightly cheavy runs his crew + is concerned about formal standards (like him not wanting to hire tf2 medic due to a history of medical misdemeanors), fred would have been long gone if his creations weren't up to par.

Keep in mind that most of the world is still kinda bummy while australia (and ig new zealand) have all the super fancy stuff to themselves (with the way aussies act with other non-aussies I highly doubt that they would just hand over their own formulas for Teleportation Tech) (these war-loving guys even canonically hid up the existence of australium too, and there's a newspaper clip showing a headline of the aussies calling the discovery of magic gold a false alarm) so fred figuring out all that shit on his own is kinda impressive.

But lets say that he DID have access to the blueprints. Did he deviate from them out of stubbornness? The want to be his own man? Was he smart enough to figure out the fundamentals, but eventually failed to understand the sheer complexity of the LEM? Or did he actually do work on it, but ended up not being significant enough? If the LEM started breaking down by the 1940s, is it really possible for it to STILL keep chugging for an entire decade without human intervention? Did he knowingly lie about the immortality machines cuz he didn't want a deranged cheavy to live forever, or was he actually thinking ahead and taking the potential australium shortage into account (esp since the thing cheavy was holding was a more greedy, simpler model)?

Still, whether or not he had access to the blueprints doesn't change the bits about virgil's eyes or his prosthetic legs. I know they knew each other before the war (gravel war, world war, idk) but it would still be a huge risk for a sniper to just let someone pluck his eyes out; that sort of trust takes a looot of time and experiences.

Tldr; fred is a smart little cookie and I think he gets underestimated too much : ( . also my math isn't the best so if I get anything wrong pls pls pls correct me

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

SKZ in a fist fight

Chan

This man is cruel and ON ONE. I’m talking during fights this man is doing anything. Scratching, stomping, strangling. Ain’t no shame in his game. Though he will feel guilty after he won’t during. He said “I want this to hurt.” And it did. He also is constantly changing. Like oh he realizes you have pocket sand? Bet. He got something for you. He said “embrace the process” and did.

Minho

Minho is the type who doesn’t fight. He calls the cops. Like I got “Fight who?🤨” vibes. You’re not worth it. You’ll never be worth it. He’s fighting nobody because Korea’s laws are shit and even if it’s self defense he can go to jail so quick. With that being said the verbal beating you’ll get will probably be worse than anyone’s fists could dish out.

Changbin

Changbin does not fight one on one. He gets his friends to jump you. And then he’s like “Oh wow guys you really stuck up for me!” All excited and stuff as if he didn’t call his whole friend group to beat on this one person.

Hyunjin

Me and my friend talk about him and Han (at least predebut) ALL THE TIME. Now…NOWADAYS Hyunjin is more conscious. He won’t fight you because if his career goes downhill for it he’ll crash out. He’s like “We’re adults. We’re mature. Why fight?” HOWEVER. Pre scandal Hyunjin was a CRASH. OUT. (The cards and his natal chart have both spoken.) I’m talking you’re running ones with everyone he knows if you’re running ones with Hyunjin. Verbal, physical, whatever ones you can run you’re running when it comes to him. And he enjoys it. He gets mad and he gets mad quick. And he’s probably been in plenty of fights because Temper + Side Eye = Someone’s swinging and it’s 50/50. But yeah now he’s chilled out he’s not fighting anything.

Jisung

SPEAKING of Han. Another one who calls his friends to fight you cause he knows he can’t fight. But he calls his friends then runs to the hills to get out of there. And there’s absolutely ZERO shame in his game. Then he’ll spread the video like he did sumn and lie about the entire situation like “Yeah I beat them up.” No you didn’t? Predebut Han would’ve probably had a stroke if someone tried to actually fight him though. He knows he can’t fight and it stresses him out even thinking of having to fight someone.

Felix

Felix is beating the breaks off you, whoever tries to step in, AND your mama for good measure (not literally.) everyone in the general vicinity can get some. He’s fighting you, your friends, whoever tries to hold him back, anyone watching who’s talking too much, AND the camera man if someone’s recording just to prove the camera man isn’t invincible. (Kinda exaggerating.) don’t be fooled by his general Felix-ness Felix gets DOWN.

Seungmin

Before I even pulled a card I immediately got “Peasants 🙄” he’s not fighting you. I’m literally getting “I know my worth.” He knows he’s better than you so why fight? You can fight his friends instead if you really wanna run a fade. But no one’s getting hands on him. And if they do, trust they’ll go bankrupt with the amount of lawsuits he’s filing. And honestly he’s so real for that.

Jeongin

He doesn’t fight. Point blank period. He’s tried once and he got beat so bad he’s scarred for life. If someone tries to fight him he’s RUNNING, hiding, calling the cops, calling his friends, calling their MAMA he doesn’t care as long as he gets out of an ass whooping. And he has absolutely zero shame in his game. And if worse comes to worse he has pocket sand, zero morals, the mentality to fight the dirtiest of dirty and PTSD.

As a group

This is how this goes. You start trying to beat on Jeongin, next thing you know Felix starts swinging and Seungmin’s on the phone with his lawyer, Minho’s recording because he’s just like that, Han is cheering Felix on in the background, Hyunjin is pulling that “Oh we’re adults we’re mature stop fighting.” Then he gets hit and he starts crashing out and he’s definitely like that feral fighter. I’m talking biting, scratching, grabbing your hair and your neck or whatever he could find, kneeing the balls. At least Felix sticks to punching, kicking, he’ll grab you maybe stomp you but Hyunjin just does whatever. Then Chan comes up and starts swinging like his life depends on it because he’s protective of the kids, Changbin is having his Y/N moment in the back like “Guys…This isn’t like you 🥹” even though he’s low key enjoying the drama.

It’s just a mess. A funny mess, but still a mess.

Also, Jeongin probably throws the pocket sand at some point during this fight just to help them.

[yuugen-benni]

''Not a Father's Day''

When your husband gets a baby fever TAGS: Childe x reader, the word ''sex'' appear only once, mentions of pregnancy (yes I'm breaking my own rule), Modern AU A/N: This is based on ''How I met your mother'' T4 E7, and I'M OBSESSED WITH THE HEADER PLUSHIE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Guys, when you get married remember, Marriage has three stages:

Stage number 1: Teen era Even after you've known each other for years and years, almost tried to kill each other, and probably seen you both naked, you'll act like teenagers in their prime. You know, teasing, blushing for any reason, sex in the most inopportune places, those things that one day you will remember and feel ashamed of yourself.

Stage number 2 - Finding out The part of the relationship where you realize you knew absolutely nothing about your partner. Actually, "Nothing" is an exaggeration but you get the point. You start to know about small things that are shocking to the point of being considered a secret. Everyone has a secret, right? And the best way to count them is to dump each one. For example, Childe talking about her crazy exes:

''it's raining, look!….Oh, this reminds me so much of a crazy ex of mine who was in front of my apartment one night yelling about how she and I were meant for each other, and her husband was by her side! And the unbelievable was-''

And he kept talking and talking, while your expression was screaming ''There is more ?!'' and your mind thanks God for being normal;

Stage number 3 - Perfect couple

Here is when you became a perfect couple. What is a perfect couple? Two people who have spent so much time together that they can now create an encyclopledia about their partner. Habits, tics, favorite foods, the number of Hot Wheels cars your partner has collected, that sort of thing. Even reading expressions is possible;

The fights end and so do the disagreements

But there is only one subject that can break this: Babies.

''Hey babe, I'm back!" Childe announces his arrival, the door closes behind him as he walks over to you in the kitchen, and peck your lips "I was on my way here when I found out this little sock on our doorstep…?" Childe leans on the counter by his side with a confused expression while he plays with the child's sock, noticing the cute little blue patterns. You, who was kindly decorating cookies for Childe's siblings, looked up to look at the little thing

''It must be from new neighbors, they got the opposite apartment and knocked our door asking for help'' You started, leaving aside the piping bag ''Finally some new people! It's been so long since someone rented an apartment here'' the man commented, approaching the cookies discreetly before wincing at the slap you gave his hand

''They have two kids'' Continuing ''a baby girl and a boy with Teucer's age''

At the mention of his brother, Childe's expression changed, forgetting his red fingers. ''Awesome, we could invite them to dinner this weekend, If that's not a problem'' He gave an idea, but then raised an eyebrow at your dull expression

''They seem like good people…but I-I'm sure they'll ask those awkward questions like 'when are you two having a baby' and then apologize for being intrusive after being intrusive'' Of course, it was just an assumption, you had only interacted with them for minutes but your biggest mistake in this conversation was bringing up the subject you two avoid. Childe laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head.

''Well-''

"Childe, we already talked about this. You just have a silly baby fever, and in case you didn't know, fever goes away" You quickly dismissed him, knowing he wouldn't give up so soon. Having a child was a big request, a big wish. But it's not like it wouldn't be ''easy'', you have enough money to have 50 kids and they still wouldn't use up half of Childe's bank account. His family lives in the apartment next door and could teach you more about how to take care of children…But there was still an insecurity boiling inside you.

"But what if it doesn't go away ? What If the urge to go out just to buy little socks for our child keeps eating me ?" He was almost pleading, looking into your eyes just when you tried to avoid his gaze

"...First, you need to give me good arguments" you replied after sigh, somewhat expressing your guilty. Childe opens a big smile and approaches you once more, A fox look - persuasive "hmm... don't you want hold a mini silly Childe in your arms ?-"

"Cut it off! This is serious!"

"O-okay!" He chuckled softly before silence filled the room, he looked at the floor and then at the main kitchen window "We would practically be building a story…That's not the reason I would want to have a child, in fact you is my reason. Sometimes I feel like you are the reason for my existence… and they would [literally] understand me"

You stayed quiet and walked away from the counter, taking off your apron before gently kissing his lips. He cupped your face, wiping away the small traces of flour on your cheeks. ''I'm convincing, aren't I?'' He whispered and pulled away, taking a few steps backwards as he bit into the cookie he stole while you weren't looking. Bastard. You didn't even have time to shout at him because the man was already on the other side of the apartment; you sighed, but couldn't help but giggle.

You married a idiot, a handsome idiot. Have fun.

[evertidings]

— SEPTEMBER 2023.

accomplishments.

it’s always so interesting doing monthly updates because when i do them week by week on patreon, i always feel like i’m not doing enough. and then i’ll go read my last monthly update on here and i’m like ?? oh??? i said we were at 50% last time i updated and now i’d estimate we’re at a whopping 85%. 83% maybe. but !!!!! still. so exciting. i can see the finish line now. it’s in sight and it’s far, but it’s fucking in sight. we made it.

the final scene in this chapter (i say scene when maybe i should be saying act; it’s a lot longer than that) has been so fun to write for me. i mean, the opening branches were fun but because they were also kind of formulaic. i had to make sure the same information was conveyed through the five and all five addressed the points i wanted, meaning i was doing a lot of rearranging of words. point blank, it was a bit draining. with this final act, there’s only one route to go so i’ve been focusing a lot more on individual choices and flavour text.

i’m not exaggerating when i say that this is probably some of the most unhinged stuff i’ve written. a lot of what’s said is meant to rile the hunter up but even then i just- i stare at my sentences and go “damn. did we really have to take it there?” i’m hoping that some of your reactions will be similar. it’s so funny to me as a writer and i’m glad that this chapter allows me to let loose like this.

i don’t have a set date for when the chapter will come out but i will let you all know as soon as i can. in the meantime, i’ll be celebrating N’s birthday this month and (maybe?) getting the gears up and running for my second/side wip. it’ll have a secondary blog so i’ll be posting the username for that when i have things sorted.

hope you’re all well <333

stats.

462,205 (+13,663)

[untilwedont]

Under the mistletoe

rq: hhiiii could you do a Ethan Landry x male reader (in a au where there's no killers lol) Ethan is really into the reader. The reader is Anika's brother and they are setting up Christmas decorations in their dorms and Anika finds it the perfect opportunity to get the reader and Ethan closer together.

this is not a smut

m!reader

The season changed as christmas rolled around. only 24 days left and it was finally time to start putting up christmas decor. “Look, i don’t understand why you still haven’t talked to him. It’s the holidays! Like the perfect time to find true love.” Anika said to m/n as they continued to set up decorations. “I don’t want to make the first move. I told you before, i’m over doing that. Obviously it hasn’t worked out before.” you responded back. Anika had been blabbering all day about how it was the perfect time to get into a relationship, and it seemed she wouldn’t stop talking until m/n confessed to the boy that so obviously liked him back. Seriously, it was stupidly obvious.

“okay, first of all, it’s a 50/50 chance. the worst he can say is no! plus, all those boys in the past are stupid and obviously weren’t the ones for you. And secondly, ethan’s super shy, you know that. he obviously won’t make the first move.” she argued back. m/n sighed. Although you knew she was probably right, you couldn’t get youtself to confess first unless you knew he actually liked you.

“okay, well how exactly do I know he likes me back?” you replied. The thought of you and Ethan together did make you smile, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up. You knew that usually turned out to be a bad idea to do. Anika sighed heavily. it was definitely over exaggerated. “m/n, the signs are so obvious! i mean from the way he talks to you, to the way he looks at your bodyy.~” she teased, nudging at your arm.

you groaned, “oh my God, please shut up!” you covered your face while with your hands, feeling your cheeks burn. anika laughed, “what? i’m not the only one that’s seen where his eyes wander sometimes.” she teased once more, but before you could punch say anything back, there was a knock on the door, and in came ethan. “speak of the devil..” anika whispered, nudging your shoulder.

“hey guys, whatcha up to?” ethan asked, walking into the dorm room and shutting the door behind him. “oh, we were just setting up Christmas decorations. You wanna help?” Anika asked, setting down some of the decor she had in her hands on the desk next to her. “well actually, i need to go run some quick errands, so why don’t you help m/n finish decorating, ethan?” anika spoke once more, a smile creeping on her face.

you wanted nothing more than to punch the shit out of anika. you knew what she was doing. “well, actually-“ you spoke, but anika quickly cut you off, not even letting ethan answer. “yes? perfect! I’ll be back!” anika quickly exited the room, but not before giving you a sly smirk, leaving you and ethan alone together.

the room was left in an awkward silence for a moment before you spoke up. “well.. i, uh, guess we should finish the decorations.. there’s not that much left to do anyway.” you said, trying to make this situation less awkward. “yeah, sure..” ethan spoke, walking up next to you. he grabbed the pile anika left on the desk and you both began to set the decorations up.

you wanted nothing more than to leave, but this probably isn’t as your only chance with ethan. a 50/50 shot like she said. “so, you excited for christmas..?” you asked, trying to make small talk. usually it wasn’t this awkward, but it was only because you guys were fully alone. no one else was present in the room. “yeah, i guess so. i enjoy the break we get.” ethan replied, setting the decorations up.

“me too. I stressed so much over finals, im so happy that i get to relax now..” you said, laughing a little bit. ethans cheeks warmed, he loved your laugh. he couldn’t get enough of it. “yeah.. i feel like i studied more than I’ve ever done before..” he replied, grabbing another decoration. without realizing, he accidentally hung up a mistletoe right under the both of you (i know, what a coincidence)

“yeah.. it sure felt like it..” you replied before the conversation came to an end, and the awkward silence coming back once more. if took you a while, but when you looked up, you saw the mistletoe. directly under you and ethan. your breath hitched slightly, did ethan really not notice? you pondered for a second, this was your chance to let ethan know how you felt..

“ethan.. hypothetically, if you were under a mistletoe right now.. with the person you liked.. would you kiss them?” you asked, your voice a little lower than before.. and obviously a little shaky. ethan, taken back a little by your question, responded, “uhm.. i don’t really know.. why?”

you fiddled a little with your hands, “because we’re under one right now..” you spoke quickly, and way more silently than before.. but it was enough for ethan to hear you. he quickly looked up, and his cheeks became a bright pink again. “you don’t have to.. y’know.. i-i don’t really know if you like me back, but I thought i’d just take this chance..” you spoke, noticing ethans silence. your voice seemed to have become lower with every word that came out.

“y-you like me back..?” ethan replied. back?! you thought to yourself. “wait, you like me too?” you asked, feeling a little happier, but you didnt want to get your hopes up yet. ethan nodded, “I do.. but- i just didn’t think you liked me.. the signs weren’t that obvious to be honest..” He said. he was right, you rarely ever showed any sign that you liked him. you didn’t want to scare him off, so you kept things chill when you were around him.

“i just.. didn’t think you liked me back.” you said.. a smile creeped on both your guys’ faces. “so.. does this mean i should kiss you..?” he asked since you guys were still under a mistletoe. “i mean, thats what you usually do when theres two people under a mistletoe..” your smile widened.. not only did ethan like you back, but the two of you were about to kiss..

he leaned in hesitantly, as did you.. but eventually the gap between both of you closed, and you felt ethans soft lips against yours..

it was a christmas miracle

a/n: merry christmas eve!!! (Rushed ending 😭)

[otomehoneyybearr]

Kagari Amagase

Be My Lover, Be My Beast Premium Ending

Ch1 | Ch2 | Sweet | Premium | Epilogue | Bonus

Warning: mention of blood

As I accompanied Prince Kagari to the casino playing the role of his lover, I decided to voice the question that had been on my mind.

Emma: "…Um, who exactly is this person you want to convince that you have a lover?"

Kagari: "..."

Prince Kagari didn’t say anything, and looked around before turning his gaze back to me.

Emma: "..."

Emma: "Wait... you don’t mean everyone here in the casino, do you?"

Kagari: "That’s right. I never said it was just one person."

Emma: "I... I just assumed it was one person based on the way you spoke."

Kagari: "That’s on you for not asking for more details."

(He’s got a point, but still...!)

Emma: "Why do you want so many people to think that? If they start believing this lie as the truth…”

(Wait... if that happens, wouldn’t I be in serious danger...?)

As the second prince of Kogyoku, known for his love for battle and feared as a demon, it was only natural that Prince Kagari had plenty of people who don't think highly of him.

Realizing the gravity of the situation, I felt my body temperature drop.

Prince Kagari pulled me closer by the waist and leaned in to whisper in my ear.

Kagari: "Starting tomorrow, people will see you as my lover."

(!!!)

Kagari: "...But I have to say, being your cat might be more fun than being your lover."

Emma: "Wh-What are you talking about all of a sudden?"

Kagari: "That was a joke. But there’s a high chance you’ll be targeted."

Kagari: "By the way, the people here are far from being as kind-hearted as you."

(He’s making it sound like everyone here is a villain… surely he’s exaggerating, right?)

Kagari: "From now on, your daily life is might get 50% more thrilling."

Emma: "I’m someone who prefers a peaceful life, so I’d rather not..."

Kagari: "Too late for that."

(I really shouldn’t have agreed to pretend to be his lover just because he looked so serious.)

(But…. It’s too late to back out now. I can’t outrun him.)

I could already see myself getting caught instantly.

Kagari: "Don’t worry. You might be in a dangerous position, but I’ll protect you."

Kagari: "...For now, at least."

(Huh? What did he just say...?)

His voice was drowned out by the bustling noise inside the casino.

I wanted to ask him to repeat himself, but he had already started walking again, so I missed my chance.

And due to the events that followed, I completely forgot about what he said.

After wandering around the lively casino and making it clear to many people that Prince Kagari had a lover—

I was led into a certain room.

There, to my surprise, was a familiar figure sitting lounging on a sofa.

Merchant: "Y-You two...!"

(Why is he here?)

On the table were lavish dishes and two glasses.

Next to the sofa were several bulging burlap sacks, glistening with money in the candlelight.

(He did mention he had a meeting with an important client, so he was probably just with them.)

(But more importantly, why did Prince Kagari come here?)

(And to top it off, it’s the merchant from earlier... He must have known from the start.)

The merchant’s face turned pale as soon as he saw Prince Kagari, his mouth quivering.

Kagari: "Was it you who had the Princess deliver that package?"

Merchant: "A-and what if I was...?"

Kagari: "Nothing, really. I just thought you were quite clever for a small fry."

Kagari: "If you had delivered the package yourself, I would have killed you on the spot."

(What...?)

Kagari: "You were afraid of that, so you used the Princess, who’s been spending a lot of time with me lately, didn’t you?"

Kagari: "You knew she wouldn’t ignore someone in need."

Emma: "Prince Kagari, please wait."

With my hands trembling from confusion and anxiety, I grabbed Prince Kagari’s arm.

Emma: "What exactly was inside that package?"

Kagari: "Explosives."

Emma: "Explos...!"

I was too shocked to speak, but Prince Kagari paid no attention to my reaction and continued speaking to the merchant.

Kagari: "The box was rigged to explode as soon as it was opened."

Kagari: "It was made quite well. Did you ask a fireworks expert to make it?"

Kagari: "By the way, it seems that 'client' you were with until just now really hates me."

Kagari: "Or maybe, they were simply hired by someone else to carry out the task. Just like you."

Kagari: "You let greed cloud your judgment and did something foolish, didn’t you?"

Prince Kagari was saying something to the merchant, but I couldn’t focus on the conversation.

My head was spinning with the truth I had just learned.

(What if Prince Kagari hadn’t realized the package was filled with explosives?)

(What if I had been accidentally subjected to a strong impact on the way to the castle?)

(I... I almost killed someone out of good intentions...)

My legs trembled with fear as I realized I had unwittingly participated in a crime, and my vision blurred with tears of regret.

I struggled to breathe, desperately trying to take in air, but I couldn’t inhale properly.

Kagari: "Princess."

(…Ah…)

Prince Kagari lifted my chin up.

His green eyes, as expressionless as ever, made the tears well up even more in my eyes for some reason.

Kagari: "Was that too cruel for you? Well, it's better to know now than later, right?"

Kagari: "Besides, your breathing is getting shallow. If you keep this up, you'll pass out from lack of oxygen."

Kagari: "Take slow, deep breaths."

Emma: "Ha… h…"

I follow his instructions and fill my lungs with air.

He gently parted my lips with his thumb, and as I exhaled, my tense body relaxed just a little.

(I can breathe a little easier now.)

Emma: "Prince Kagari… I'm sorry… for not realizing anything…"

What came out wasn’t gratitude, but an apology for the crime I had almost committed.

Prince Kagari released me, tilting his head slightly as if puzzled…

Kagari: "It’s normal not to notice. The one at fault is the person who tried to pin the crime on you."

Kagari: "Kogyoku is full of hot-headed people who will do anything to take the king’s head. The security here is terrible."

Kagari: "So, I don’t recommend being friendly to everyone."

Kagari: "Nothing is easier to exploit than a person with good intentions."

(Compared to Rhodolite, Kogyoku is filled with death lurking at every corner.)

(Prince Kagari came to the casino not just for his own reasons, but also to warn me about the dangers of being too kind.)

Kagari: "Well, that’s enough of a lesson for you, Princess. Next…"

Merchant: P-Please… spare me. I was threatened, I had no choice but to do it…"

The merchant, trembling in fear, prostrated himself on the floor, begging for his life before Prince Kagari's chillingly cold gaze.

In the tense atmosphere, Prince Kagari quietly approached him.

Kagari: "In this instance, even the Princess’ excessive kindness carries a slight share of the blame."

Kagari: "In a way, this was a sort of lesson for you—an experience that will serve you well."

Kagari: "And as for you, you have no criminal record. So as long as you don't do something like this again, I won't take your life."

Merchant: "I-I won’t! So please spare m—aaaaaah!!"

(…!)

Before I realized it, the merchant was lying on the floor, bleeding from his legs and writhing in pain.

In Prince Kagari's hand was a blood-stained sword, which he must have drawn from its scabbard at some point.

Kagari "I only gave you a light punishment. You won’t be able to walk for several months with those legs."

Kagari "Don’t do anything foolish that would reach my ears again."

As if his business was finished, Prince Kagari flicked the blood off his sword, twirled it, and sheathed it.

(I-I stopped breathing again...)

I clenched my trembling hands, slowly trying to regulate my breathing.

(No matter how many times he saves me and shows his kindness...)

(I can’t help but find him just as frightening.)

Every time I felt that way, a sharp pain pricked my heart.

At the same time, a question arose in my mind.

(Why does Prince Kagari care so much about me?)

●●●●●● Flashback ●●●●●●

Kagari: "Starting tomorrow, people will see you as my lover."

Kagari: "Don’t worry. You might be in a position is dangerous, but I’ll protect you."

●●●●●● Flashback End ●●●●●●

(He said that, but… It almost felt like he wanted people to believe I was his lover, even though it would be troublesome for him.)

(Did he want them to think I’m his lover, rather than just to make it seem like he has one…?)

Kagari: "Lost in thought?"

Emma: "Prince Kagari…"

As Prince Kagari unexpectedly comes into view, I don’t know what expression to make, and my gaze wanders.

Suddenly, his eyes shift toward the door.

But he quickly looks back at me, and for some reason, pulls me closer by the waist.

(Ah, he's so close…)

Even though he's done this many times while pretending to be my lover, I’m still not used to his proximity or the warmth of his body.

Kagari: "Princess, do you like thrills?"

(What’s with this all of a sudden?)

Emma: "I don’t think I dislike them."

Kagari: "Good. Then let’s go."

Emma: "Uh, where to? That’s a window—"

Kagari: "Don’t bite your tongue."

Emma: "Wait, does that mean we’re—Ahhh!?

Prince Kagari scooped me up into his arms, opened the window and jumped out without hesitation.

In the next instant, I heard a loud crash as the door to the room was kicked open, followed by the sound of multiple footsteps rushing in.

……

Kagari: "……"

Emma: "………"

(What should I do in this situation?)

It didn’t seem like a peaceful night was coming anytime soon.

Prev | Next

▼・ᴥ・▼

[octuscle]

Hey Chronivac, on my way home today I drove past a fancy hotel and saw a super hot and hunky valet outside it. Is there a way that I could use this to become his equally hunky boyfriend or husband?

You are almost 70 years old… You have three failed marriages behind you, each of which has cost you a fortune. And now you come up with the idea of starting something with a valet? Don't take offense, but I do find it a bit strange. But anyway, I've seen worse.

You steer your Bentley convertible into the hotel driveway. Carlos is already walking towards you, eager to be of service. "Welcome, it's nice to have you back with us. May I ask you for the keys to this wonderful car?" You've never been here before… But what a sexy Spanish accent! You give him the key and a 10-dollar bill. And you have to swallow. You have a very dry throat.

With some difficulty and the help of your walking stick, you enter the lobby. You go to the concierge and ask to speak to the personnel manager. When asked who he might report, you reply "James Miller, it's about something private". While you wait in the lobby for an answer, you look in the mirror. Yes, there are already a few gray strands and a few wrinkles around your eyes. But for someone in their mid-50s, you don't look bad at all. Lots of exercise and a healthy diet, you think contentedly. The concierge asks you to take the elevator to the fourth floor.

You're already a little nervous. You haven't had a job interview for a long time. And at your early 40s, you're probably a bit too old to be a parking attendant. You clutch your application folder with white knuckles. But the secretary in the HR department smiles kindly at you, asks you to take a seat and offers you a drink of water. Out of sheer nervousness, you reply with "Gracias". She laughs and says that the conversation will be conducted in English. You laugh back. With your gleaming white teeth, you can iron out any embarrassment.

The door to the meeting room opens. The last applicant is a spotty beanpole. At least visually you have the best chance. The secretary invites you in. The personnel manager smiles at you, you shake his hand and smile back. "Well, Mr. Molinero, the first lesson today is that you don't shake my hand, I shake yours. You never shake hands with a guest unless they do it first. Do we understand each other? You swallow. Carlos wasn't exaggerating. This is a strict place. But it's also the best hotel in town. "Mr. Molinero, is Carlos your brother? You have the same surname." You reply that you are often mistaken for brothers. But you are actually married. "Delightful!" replies the personnel manager. And then you go through your CV.

The interview felt like it took three hours. In fact, it was just 20 minutes. The HR manager stands up and shakes your hand. He laughs as you shake his hand. "Good strong handshake. I like that. Welcome to the team. Rebecca will sort out all the formalities with you, Diego. And for the rest, I'll just rely on Carlos to introduce them well.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression. And Carlos and you are often the first to give an impression of "your" hotel. You are professionals. You know your way around cars, are excellent drivers and know the local area like the back of your hand. Yes, the pay is really bad, but the tips are royal. Carlos actually once inherited the Bentley convertible of a guest he'd never seen before or since. Of course you didn't keep it. But you were able to use the proceeds from the sale to buy a beach house in your Mexican homeland.

And if things aren't going well enough, you can always work extra shifts as a waiter by the pool. Your suntan lotion massages are famous!

[bethanydelleman]

Trope exploration: Man, usually a war veteran, with PTSD drowns his sorrows in alcohol

I was rewatching one of my favourite shows and I was struck by the fact that the main male character had severe Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)* and yet didn't drink because it seemed like a big trope subversion. This made me wonder about the real world comorbidity** of substance use disorder (SUD) and PTSD, so I could determine if this common association was a reflection of real life or a trope.

PTSD & SUD co-occur at a rate of about 30-55%

(many of these studies are in veterans, source, source, source)

However, this is SUD in general, which means it includes any abuse of a drug, including but not limited to alcohol. The highest rates of PTSD are in cocaine and opiate users. Also, and this is very interesting, the direction of causation is unknown (does the substance or the PTSD come first):

Although PTSD and SUDs appear to be strongly linked, little is known about the nature of their relationship. The most widely held explanation of their frequent co-occurrence is the self-medication hypothesis. This hypothesis is based primarily on clinical observation and posits that traumatized individuals attempt to use substances in order to dampen traumatic memories, or to avoid or “escape” from other painful symptoms of PTSD. A second hypothesis, the high-risk hypothesis, posits that individuals with SUDs, because of high-risk lifestyles, are likely to experience a trauma and are, therefore, more likely than the general population to develop PTSD. Finally, a third hypothesis, known as the susceptibility hypothesis, states that substance use increases an individual's susceptibility to developing PTSD following a trauma. (source)

It was also noted as important that most patients who suffered from PTSD had multiple traumatic events in their lives, beginning in childhood. Also, more men had SUD than women, which holds true in the general population as well.

I think one of the best representations in popular media of PTSD might be The Hunger Games. They have SUD/PTSD Haymitch and the Morphling (opioid abuse) victors, but Katniss and Peeta deal with their experience in other ways, as do the others that we see. Also, it's clear that most of the victors have repeated trauma: Katniss's father dying and nearly starving to death; Peeta's childhood abuse; and Haymitch being forced to have a front row seat to subsequent games.

Conclusion: at most, only about 50% of patients with PTSD abuse a drug of any kind, less of them abuse alcohol. So it would be both interesting and scientifically valid to see more characters with PTSD who are not constantly drinking. Men are more likely to have substance use disorders, so the trope is partially supported.***

*Comorbidity is when two disorders happen in the same person at the same time. There are many conditions that are likely to co-occur, like depression and generalized anxiety disorder or Type 2 diabetes and obesity.

**Symptoms of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, taken from one of the sources above:

The characteristic symptoms of PTSD can be divided into three clusters: avoidant, intrusive, and arousal symptoms. Examples of intrusive symptoms include unwanted thoughts or flashbacks of the event. Avoidant symptoms include, for example, attempts to avoid any thoughts or stimuli that remind one of the event. These symptoms are particularly relevant to this review because substances of abuse are often used by individuals with PTSD in an attempt to avoid or escape memories. Arousal symptoms generally include exaggerated startle reflex, sleep disturbance, and irritability, and are generally associated with hyperactivity of the autonomic nervous system.

***I'm not saying that this trope is bad or that we shouldn't see any people with PTSD resorting to substance abuse in media. Instead, I'm saying that the amount of people with PTSD who use alcohol as a coping mechanism is lower than most people probably think, and it would be interesting to see other representations of PTSD as well. PTSD & SUD are most likely commonly paired together in media because it's an easily visible sign of internal suffering.

Also, varied displays of different disorders are important, in my opinion. We don't want someone thinking they don't have PTSD or that a loved one doesn't have PTSD because they don't also have a problem with alcohol.

[durrtydawg]

Oh, I hope you feel better soon! <3 Sending you all my well wishes x Since you asked, HCs/short drabble after Sam looking after a poorly reader? Is he good at it, or is he avoiding them like the absolute plague?!

HEHE excellent. and thank you <333

I think it'd really depend on a lot of factors, but I'd say it's pretty 50/50... especially when he's got an impending trip in the calendar...

Sam 'taking care' of you when you're sick:

{drabble-ish, no gender mentioned, no warnings, written in 15 mins teehee}

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

“Is it safe?”

“Ehhhh.” You manage a half-hearted groan, cocooned in your blanket fortress.

The door creaks open, Sam peeking in with exaggerated caution, his voice slightly muffled. “Ehhhh doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence, babe.”

You attempt a weak glare, but it’s hard to be menacing when your nose is red and your eyes are watering. “Are you coming in or not?”

Sam shuffles in fully, “I come bearing gifts,” he announces, holding up a tray consisting of a steaming mug of tea, bowl of soup, some pills, and an open packet of cough drops.

“Is that my scarf?”

“Yep. I don’t really fancy hacking up a lung on my way to Morocco, so, I’ve improvised.”

Before you can call him ridiculous, you sneeze. Thrice.

“Jesus. Gesundheit.” Sam grimaces, his eyes squinting over the top of said scarf as he leans away from you.

You blink up at him with a frown, squeezing a tissue around your sore nose. “It’s not the bubonic plague, ass.”

He offloads the goods onto the bedside table, before folding his arms, leaning against the wall with a scoff. “Hey, you know if it was any other time, I’d be right in those snotty sheets with you, germ-zilla. Try to get sick after I come back from abroad, next time.”

“I’ll let my immune system know.” You croak, pulling yourself slightly more upright with an uncomfortable look on your face.

Sam winces sympathetically. “You need anything else? More blankets? Fewer blankets? A fumigation team?”

“A hug?” You give him your best puppy eyes.

“I can do… a nice, safe distance hug?” He mimes wrapping his arms around you from a few feet away. “There. Can ya feel the love? I sure as hell can.”

You pout, sinking deeper into your blankets again. “I feel like a leper.”

“Nah, lepers don’t get Doctor Samuel’s homemade noodle soup.” He points to the bowl triumphantly.

“I literally heard the microwave ding.”

“Shit.” He grins, eyes all crinkled and mischievous. “Foiled.”

You smile despite yourself, opening up the cold and flu meds he put beside you. “You’re surprisingly chipper for someone who’s been sleeping on the couch for two days.”

He shrugs, pulling the scarf down just enough to flash his teeth at you, cough drop held between them. “You know I’m a sucker for lemon. Had half a bag ‘a these things, and I’m pretty sure they’re medicated, so I’m probably high on somethin’. I dunno.”

You pop two painkillers into your mouth and lift the mug of tea in a toast. “To drugs.”

“To drugs.”

[bruisedboys]

SATURN — modern!steve has a crush on librarian!reader so he keeps checking out books that he never reads just to talk to them and reader eventually calls him out on it

this is short and probably not exactly how you imagined it being but I tried!! however it’s such a good concept that I may or may not make a full length fic out of it. don’t @ me on that though … hope u like this gf!

summary: modern!steve has a crush on you, the library receptionist. fluff, pining steve, very short lol

gn!reader 600 words

You were pretty sure you were losing your marbles when you saw him for the fourth time that same week.

There he was again, looking very immersed in the books on the shelf of the History section, and standing out like a sore thumb. The only people who ever spent this long in the History section were men over 50. This boy, this tall, brunette, glasses-wearing boy, who you’d now seen every day for the past 3 days, was definitely not over 50.

You stared at him, squinted, tilted your head, tried to figure out whether you were seeing things or not. You wouldn’t be surprised — you were the type of person to be up in your head more often than not. Hence the library receptionist job.

Too late, you realised mystery boy was looking right back at you. Your face got hot fast. Your head snapped back to your computer, typing nonsense into the keyboard.

It was only when he cleared his throat that you realised he was standing right in front of your desk.

You looked up. He looked exceptionally handsome today, his long brown hair tucked behind his ears, a pair of round glasses sitting on his perfect freckled nose. Not that he hadn’t looked pretty every time you saw him, but today his grin was blinding. You swallowed.

“Sorry,” you breathed. “Um, hi. Are you … borrowing that?”

You pointed at this book in his hand. He looked down at it like he’d forgotten he was holding it.

“Oh. Yeah, this,” he said, like it was an afterthought. An afterthought of what, you didn’t know. He grinned, then slid the book over the desk to you. “Mhm, I’d like to borrow it, please.”

You went to grab the book and had to do a double take.

“This is … the same book you got out yesterday,” you said slowly, half convinced he was trying to mess with you.

“It is?” He squinted at the book for a second and then his eyes widened. You thought you saw a blush creeping up his neck. “It is! Oh shit, I’m stupid.”

Mystery boy smacked his own forehead and groaned, then fell into embarrassed laughter. His hand dragged down his face and made his glasses go lopsided. You couldn’t help but laugh too, his smile was dazzling and contagious.

“Did you even read the cover?” You asked, amusement at the situation overshadowing your nervous nature. “No, wait. Did you even read the one you got yesterday?”

His laughter died down though the redness in his cheeks didn’t.

“Well, no.” He cringed at himself, looking one part embarrassed and two parts charming. “Listen, I’m Steve. To tell you the truth, I haven’t read any of the books I got out. I just wanted to talk to you again.”

You flushed from head to foot.

Steve ignored your embarrassment chivalrously. “You’re pretty … for a library receptionist,” he said with a cheeky grin and an awfully exaggerated wink.

You blinked, cheeks blazing. Your tongue felt like it was stuck to the roof of your mouth, thanks to his compliment. You stumbled for a moment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, y’know … library receptionists are usually old ladies.” He wrinkled his nose, and, at your giggling, grinned beautifully. His eyes were bright when he asked, “What’s your name?”

Your tongue unstuck long enough for you to tell him your name. He beamed when you did, the movement in his cheeks shifting his glasses slightly, and stuck his hand out over the desk. You took it, his hand warm and big and calloused.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” he said jovially. You liked the way he said your name. You felt almost privileged to hear it coming from his pretty, grinning mouth.

“Nice to meet you too, Steve.” You smiled back shyly as he let go of your hand, your skin hot where he’d touched you. “Do you … do you maybe want me to give you some actually good book recommendations?”

Steve laughed, much too loud for a library but you didn’t have the heart to tell him off.

[belphiesgirlfriend]

Obey me! Brothers music taste headcanons

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more like ramblings than headcanons tbh but i had this stuck in my head and needed to get it out, also feel free to send requests for diff headcanons!

Cw’s: none!

Little bit satirical (i over exaggerate sometimes cuz it’s funny) but pretty in character overall i thinkk

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Lucifer:

• You know this motherfucker listens to classical music and classical music only cuz he’s boring

• Okay but jokes aside i see him listening to like 30’s 40’s 50’s music especially the love songs.

• Like straight up fallout 4 soundtrack music, he’d listen to it while doing paperwork or unwinding

• He’d definitely be really prideful (no duh) about his taste in music, he’d feel all fancy and refined when he tells people

• Type of dude to be like “modern music simply can’t compare to the classics…” shut up grandpa we get it u know bach’s zodiac sign, penis size, and mothers maiden name

• Wants to be different so bad, he’d strictly listen to music from his vintage record player or some shit cause it’s the “most authentic” way to listen, fr acts like a manic pixie dream girl (he’d hit me upside the head if he heard me say that sorry luci🫶)

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Mammon:

• r&b and spanish music

•but i feel like he’d like 2000s party music from all the clubbing and casinos

• def a weekend listener and like 90’s rap

• but also like i wouldn’t be surprised if he listened to some 90s rock too

• he’d listen 2 sublime or nirvana or local h (i’m projecting on the last one)

• but anyways he’d be a #1 rihanna fan he’d blast her music in his room but then deny liking her💀make it make sense!!

• also he knows her best album is loud CAUSE HE HAS TASTE!!

• also tyler the creator i get the vibe he’d love him

• kali uchis fan too

•ALSO i feel like he had a phase where he listened to juice wrld and was like “these cheating lying females….” after he got his heart broken by a witch YOU CANG TELL ME IM WRONG😭😭 it’s okay though cause he’s embarrassed by it now

• oh childish gambino too duh forgot about him

ALSO LET ME MENTION DINERO IS LITERALLY HIS SONG ITS ACTUALLY HIS

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Levi:

• this one’s gonna be real fucking short IM SORRYYY

• he listens to anime openings and game soundtracks

• also vocaloid

• that’s literally all i can think of dude

• he’d be like “i don’t have time for normie music…”

• his room is literally that old caramelldansen meme from 2019/2020

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Satan:

• this one was harder for me to pinpoint

• first instinct would be classical music but it’s canon he likes ska music too so 🤷‍♀️

• i really do feel like he’d listen to all types of music, like a true jack of all traits, if he likes it he likes it so his playlist is allllll over the place

• for some reason i get a vibe he’d really like 80s music in particular though

• the song that pops into my head is who can it be now? by men at work idk why

• maybe even older music i feel like he’d like sam cooke

• OH both him and belphie would like mazzy star and fiona apple idk why but they would

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Asmo:

• okay crucify me for this one but…mitski I JUSG FEEL LIKE HE WOULD

• but i also see him loving lady gaga a lot cuz he has taste

•omg he’d listen to old katy perry too

•but yea also probably lil nas x he’d have a celeb crush on him

• oh tyler the creator too with his gay ass, him and mammon both love him, they def have done a duet to see u again

• he’d be a barb probably defend nicki too😭

• and as much as it pains me to say it, he’d fucking listen to ayesha erotica and be like “this is so good!!!”, hed post a devilgram story with one of her songs and then get cancelled on twitter

• “I made a severe and continuous lapse of judgement…” and then did the same thing a week later

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Beel:

• type of guy when you ask him what music he listens to he goes “idk i don’t really listen to music”

• he legitimately looks up “hype playlist” on youtube to work out and that’s the extent of it

• really can’t see him being a big music guy

• if u invited him to a concert or something he’d go though for food

•he’d give you a piggy back ride so u can see better

• tbh if u were to put on music he would not care much no matter how good/bad it is

• you could walk in on him working out and literally listening 2 cbat or some shit

• HE LITERALLY IS CBAT GUY😭 he’d be like “i always use this song when i’m working out..

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Belphie:

• emo fucker

• i feel like he’d like emo/ 90s rock ( but more “rockish” than mammons 90’s rock)

• but he’d also love any more relaxing music with softer vocals

• he’d be a deftones fan I KNOW GHATS FUCKING BASIC AND UR ROLLING UR EYES BUT LISTEN

• they have the combination of 90s rock but also more soothing calming vocals, theyd literally b perfect

• and for that reason his favorite albums r koi no yokan and saturday night wrist, also their self titled,

• would call mammon a poser for his music taste “nirvana isn’t even *real* rock idiot🙄”

• but nah, also like i said in satans fiona apple and mazzy star fan

• he’d suck so bad though he’d go on twitter and be like, “if you like deftones ur a poser” (while being their number 1 fan, fucking brat) then turn off his phone and take a nap for the funny

[ghost-106]

here’s a rambling collection of thoughts on trudy relating to her memories, motherhood, and femininity. (it’s really long and probably grammatically incorrect apologies in advance)

trudy remembering herself slowly is horrifying. saying that her kids weren’t always homeschooled and remembering that she loved to read.

what broke my heart is that timmy is a human and he has watched what his father has done to his mother unable to do anything. His father PROGRAMMED HIS MOTHER TO HATE HIM. He has watched new twisted versions of his mother be created and destroyed at the whim of his father. he remembers his real mother and i cannot imagine seeing what your father truly thinks of your mother personified. so of course he is angry, who wouldn’t be angry. for all we know this isn’t the first time trudy had begun to remember herself, so of course he wouldn’t let her get close to him.

also the fact that two of her kids aren’t real is completely devastating. she remembers taking them home from the hospital and raising them. she read them to sleep at night and loves them dearly. but tucker stole her motherhood in such an horrible way that he would never understand. the cruelty of stealing her motherhood is made worse because especially in the 50s motherhood was ALL women were told they could have. it was all they were taught they could be and tucker even took that. he took her real baby and gave her two that were used as tools to harm her.

in my mind robot trudy doesn’t quite look like human trudy did. like an over sexualized and over feminine uncanny valley. i feel like she’s an exaggerated version of herself that isn’t really her. she has become what tucker wanted her to be and is a literal embodiment of the male gaze in mind and body. which is fucking psychotic and makes me hate tucker even more.

i hope you enjoyed my autistic ramblings on feminity and womanhood in relation to my fav robot housewife. :D <3