#I Grow Maddened (with grief)

[thicctails]

Oh shit, its the mental illness and trauma gang!!!

[interestingturnofthetables]

Finally reading TBOB Journal 3 pages myself and oh my bloody god Ford’s obliviousness is pissing me right offf!!!!!

I swear, he gets SO unbelievably close to the point Every. Goddamn. Time. And then is just like “I can’t possibly make sense of this gibberish. It must mean nothing. Anyway back to work on the portal for my Muse 🥰” WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM!!!!?!!

First the soothsquitos, then the fortune teller at the carnival, now these anagrams of “I grow maddened”!!!!

You’re gonna tell me he wrote this shit down and NO puzzle pieces started to click!??? And bro thinks he’s some sort of genius…

If it were me, (well, I’m shit at anagrams so I wouldn’t have even gotten this far if we’re real talking) I would’ve seen “dreamed god win” alongside “demon war, did edge” and started spiralling.

Not to mention the fact Ford saw “I’m dead wronged” and probably thought ‘couldn’t be me. I’m never wrong about anything :)’ he needed to be hit by the hubris ray so hard, damn bro.

I hate hindsight/dramatic irony y’all. This is causing me so much grief.

[kingofwinter283]

i actually hate talisa maegyr. i think her whole plot with robb was so stupid. like in the books robb’s marriage with jeyne is this tragic situation that’s really a culmination of the stress and grief that robb has been going through and unable to truly process because he is a child trying to lead his people in a war. he gets injured and then learns that his former best friend has just betrayed him, captured his home, and killed both of his younger brothers which adds to growing list of loss in his life. his father got executed, his sisters are being held hostage, his best friend betrayed him, and now his brothers are dead. so while he’s injured and kind of being consumed by his grief, jeyne westerling is there to comfort him and they do the deed and this only makes things worse because of how robb was raised and instilled with his father’s honor, as well as seeing how jon was raised, robb feels compelled to marry jeyne to preserve HER honor which ends up being his downfall. but nooooo in the show robb falls in love with foreign beauty talisa maegyr and dies because he’s an idiot and couldn’t keep it in his pants. like don’t get me wrong i love robb’s scenes in the show richard madden call me i just think the story could have been so much better and been true to the tragedy that it is in the books.

[solecize]

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision.

despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: jungkook/reader 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. inspired heavily by stardew valley, friends to lovers, childhood friends, cowboy jungkook, small town alternate universe, slice of life, grief, growing up, mutual pining, jungkook as a parental figure 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 3.8k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. no warning except main characters being dumb and some SERIOUS tension

part six: the dreams and the sunday market ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ previous. next. masterlist

xv. the dreams

you were dreaming of kissing jeon jungkook.

  it was akin to a recurring nightmare, the way you woke up in cold sweat after picturing his beautiful lips on yours in your sleep. ever since the night where the two of you shared dinner, the image haunted you and chased you even in your lack of consciousness. it didn’t help that your day always began at five a.m, leaving you waking up, distraught, and no sun to warm your surroundings. 

  today in particular was not looking to be on your side. you slept through your first two alarms after getting lost in the dream of kissing jungkook on a beach in front of luscious palm trees and golden sand. even worse, it was the day of jungkook’s return to the farm.

  in the hours between your awakening and jungkook’s arrival, your nerves casted away your grogginess. you wondered why you didn’t decline his offer to finish the gate, but remembered he made it clear he didn’t have feelings for you - there should be no problem, then.

  since he was coming in the evening, you had an entire day ahead of you. somehow, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. it was maddening, as if the thoughts of jeon jungkook settled beneath your skin and chased your every move. it was a gloomy day with light showers, but the thoughts kept you warm and you didn’t like it one bit. 

  by 5 p.m, you were wrapped up for the day. it shouldn’t have taken so long, but with your late wake-up and the plaguing image of your childhood best friend, you found yourself sluggish. you decided that you were going to proceed like you’d done in the weeks prior.

  the last thing you wanted to take care of was inspect the garage once more. you’d been meaning to test out the old tractor inside to determine if you could sell it off or not, but it was a problem when the door was stuck in the same place. now, you were outside, wrestling with the garage, once again.

  “i guess this does have to be fixed. . .” you mumbled to yourself, remembering jungkook’s words.

  then, you heard your name being called. it startled you, since you hadn’t had any visitors in quite some time, considering jungkook’s absence. however, you knew that voice from a mile away and weren’t surprised when you turned around, taking notice of him approaching across the fields, coming face to face with the man in question.

  you hastily wiped the beads of sweat on your temple. “hey,” you said when you saw jungkook, who likely wandered to the fields when you didn’t answer the front door.

  “hey, y/n,” jungkook replied, setting his toolbox down by the fence he was to work on. today, he was wearing a black button down over a white t-shirt with jeans. his hair had grown slightly longer since you first arrived to amber valley and you liked the way it fell over his eyebrows. 

  as you always did, you graciously thanked him. “i really appreciate you coming to help me out.” even though he essentially shut down any possibility of you being able to come to terms with any feelings you had. you didn’t say that part out loud. 

  “stop that, you know i just want to lend a hand,” he waved you off and you wondered if that was what you knew. you weren’t sure if that was what your silent agreement with jungkook truly involved, with his persistence and your strong will - two things that were not easily challenged, but crumbled at one another.

"you still fighting with that old thing?" jungkook chuckled softly, looking at the garage door behind you.  

you only rolled your eyes. "i thought i could get it."  

he shook his head, continuing to laugh, and then glanced at the watch on his wrist. “oh, i guess this is the first time i’ve come by in the evening. you’re done work for once.”  

you didn’t realize this fact either and tried to fight a silent panic - you usually had a task that you could pretend to be busy with, in order to distract yourself from jungkook’s presence. then, you began what to wonder what was wrong with you? it was just jungkook. were your vivid dreams really chasing you into acting strangely? and was he not quieter than usual, or were you overthinking things?

  jungkook eventually excused himself to get to work and you decided that you needed to push your barrage of thoughts and questions away. instead, you entered the kitchen and proceeded to make dinner as usual, except a bit extra for your handyman of a friend.

  when you peeked outside after finishing, you saw that jungkook was drilling something into place. he’d taken off his button down shirt at some point, tying it around his waist. you cleared your throat loudly to get his attention, but it didn’t stand a chance against the sound of the drill.

  “jeon jungkook!” you yelled, but he still couldn’t hear you. it was only when you brought your hands to your lips and let out a loud whistle when he finally caught your eye, turning the drill off promptly.

  jungkook shook his head in disbelief, walking towards you with a laugh. “namjoon was right, that is a really loud whistle you can do.”

  “i made dinner,” you said, hiding your nerves. in reality, you knew little could go wrong, as the two of you were sharing meals together for weeks. unless, of course, if he tried setting you up with a friend again.

  “you know, i took you as someone who would be shit at cooking, but you’re pretty good,” jungkook teased, as he left his tools on the ground and walked towards you. “and thanks, of course.”

  you rolled your eyes. “i’m good at everything.”

  “lies. there’s a bunch of things i’m better than you at,” he mused, as he opened the door back inside for you. 

  the half-serious bickering made you drop your shoulders in ease, settling back into the same comfortable atmosphere that you always shared with jungkook. this was still the brat that used to whine if you got a better guitar hero score than him.

  the two of you soon settled into some local gossip. jungkook began telling you about how your grandpa used to constantly predict that the lee family would divorce sooner or later, which was apparently now in progress. you wondered how close he really was to him.

  “i wish we gave him one more summer with the three of us,” you said, as the two of you moved in fluid motions around the kitchen. the movements were natural and almost domestic, with jungkook knowing where all of the plates and silverware was and made it his job to set the table. meanwhile, you began getting the food ready.

  he nodded. “i think he would have liked that. he’s probably happy that we’ve become friends again.”

  the image of your dreams last night flashed before your eyes when jungkook said the word “friends” and you chose to ignore it. 

  instead, you responded, “i’d like to think that we never stopped.” your voice was quiet, unsure of the statement that you just offered. 

  it was nice, the way that you and jungkook managed to pick up your friendship after thirteen years as if nothing happened in between. and, even then, over the past month, the two of you slowly began to grasp the lives you led in the time apart. the people you grew into. somehow, it still clicked.

  jungkook paused, in the middle of bringing out plates from the cupboards. “you know, me too,” he said. “too bad you stopped responding to my letters.”

  this made you also freeze in place, eyebrows furrowed at his remark. “what do you mean? i didn’t stop responding,” you turned around to face him. “you’re the one that stopped replying.”

  “i’m pretty sure i was the last one to send a letter, bunny,” jungkook chuckled, but you sensed some bitterness. “i sent you a letter one spring and then when june rolled around, your grandpa randomly told me you weren’t coming back.”

  you shook your head, lips parted. “i never got a letter.”

by now, you finished setting food on the table. it was a full american-style breakfast, with chicken and waffles, scrambled eggs, and a platter of fruit from the farm. you made a jug of iced tea and set out some water. jungkook’s eyes trailed to the table and his eyes were unreadable.

  “that’s too bad,” he spoke slowly, as if remembering something. “breakfast for dinner?” then, jungkook shook his head, as if shaking the thoughts off, and proceeded to set the rest of the table.

  your eyes widened. “sorry, do you not like it? i thought it would be a good change - “

  “no, it’s not that! thank you, it looks delicious. i love breakfast for dinner,” jungkook smiled. it was as if he flipped a switch and you were itching to know what he was thinking before.

  “if you’re not up for it - “

  “you’re annoying, come sit down with me,” jungkook interjected again, but was playful and rubbed his hands together, ready to dig in.

  you punched his shoulder, which you knew did little damage, but he yelped anyway. sitting down across from him, jungkook began serving the both of you and you didn’t object when he plopped food on your plate for you. it was the same routine that you had before and frankly, it was nice.

  “i just didn’t think it would you’d never come back to town again,” he commented and you were confused, until you remembered what he said earlier. 

  you found yourself biting the inside of your cheek. “me neither. i don’t know what hapened, i used to love it here. . “ you trailed off, looking around your surroundings and out the window, where the silver of the amber valley sky looked down on you. “i did try looking for you at some point, but you aren’t on social media.”

  jungkook shook his head, pouring two cups of iced tea. “not really. and especially not after i started taking care of jiwon.” he passed one cup to your side, which you quietly thanked him for. “i think i saw you one time online, in early high school, but you looked different and i wasn’t sure.”

  like every teenager, you had a phase of experimenting with your look and went through different kinds of hair colours and makeup styles. now, in your twenties, you’d grown tired of constant change and like your city life, settled for mundane and simple. just before his passing, your grandpa once remarked that you began to look like yourself again.

  “we would’ve still been best friends in high school. i’d keep you around to copy off your homework,” you joked, cutting into a waffle. you weren’t kidding when you told jiwon about how smart jungkook was, as he’d always been since you two were young. though you were academically gifted yourself, you’d held jealousy for the way jungkook learned every hobby you liked at twice the learning speed.

  “aw, i was your best friend?” jungkook banterd, which made you kick him underneath the table. “i’m joking. we’re best friends forever, isn’t what we put on the tree?”

  “oh my god, don’t remind me of that!” your cheeks went hot, as you recalled that memory that jungkook was referring to.

  when you were about nine years old, you and jungkook had the genius idea to carve your names into a random tree by the town square. while doing so, you were caught by mayor kim walking by, who made a big deal out of you kids “defacing” town property. when he scolded you and told your grandpa though, the latter got a kick out of it. 

  the rest of the conversation was light, which was exactly what you needed. in spite of this, jungkook’s remarks about your letters echoed in the back of your mind. you made a mental note to look into his claim - though the said letters from your childhood likely lived in your dad’s apartment, where you had spent your middle school to high school years at.

  midway through the dinner-slash-breakfast, you caught the way jungkook’s eyes were fixated on you and didn’t move. you gave him a questioning look and he sighed.

  jungkook said, “there’s jam on your face.” his tone was pretending to be disappointing, but holding back a laugh.

  “oh, where?” you began wiping your cheek, which turned out to be dry. you continued swiping around, still missing.

  he groaned. “it’s literally right there. by your nose, bunny. come on.” 

  after looking like he was about to simultaneously lose his mind and burst out laughing, his chair creaked loudly against the wooden flooring and jungkook stood up. he made strides around the table over to you and bent down to meet you at eye-level. you jumped at the sudden movement and the fact that jungkook’s face was inches away from yours. he was so close that you could count every single one of his long eyelashes if you tried.

  “it’s right. . .here.” at some point, jungkook ripped away a piece of paper towel from your side and you nearly flinched when you felt his touch on your cheek. 

  he gently wiped away the spread with a tilted head and a crease forming in between his brows, seemingly looking everywhere but in your eyes. you were so close to him that you could hear his steady breathing. you wondered if he was close enough to hear the army marching in the middle of your chest. it was hard for you to breathe yourself when your entire body froze at the contact.

  you managed to let out a whisper, fighting the shiver creeping up your spine. “thanks.”

  jungkook’s lips looked exactly like they did in your dreams. “no problem.” his voice was low and you swore you saw his eyes flash to your own lips, before looking up at you.

  you weren’t sure how long the two of you were still for. the only thing in your ears was the sound of your heart, which was amplified over the ticking of the grandfather clock several feet away. nobody dared to move until the ringing of a cell phone, which caused both of you to jump.

  it was jungkook’s. the phone was sitting on the dining table and it rang because you knew he always kept his phone off vibrate for his sister. when you saw a picture of jiwon and jungkook making silly faces at each other flash on the screen, you cleared your throat and scooted backwards, knowing that jungkook was going to immediately take the call.

  “sorry, one sec,” jungkook eventually snapped back into reality when he saw his screen. he picked up his phone and trailed into the living room to take the call.

  it was time for you snap back into reality, too. you felt stupid and like you wanted to bang your head into the table in front of you. there was no way he was going to kiss you, you’d witnessed one too many reruns of this fantasy in your dreams. you just spoke about how great your friendship was.

  best friends forever. you repeated that in your mind, along with jungkook talking your ear off about how great you and taehyung would look together.

xvi. the sunday market

on the last sunday of each month, the valley closed up most of its main roads for pedestrian access only and the community came out to hold a market in the town square. local busineses came out to sell their usual and offer up fun, seasonal products to buy. your grandfather usually set up a stand, but you found yourself a little too shy to be doing it alone for your first month in town. thankfully, you were wedged between jimin and hoseok, right in between their booths. 

  “honestly, i’m glad you’re with us, y/n. at least we can all smell like fish,” hoseok hummed, as he began unfolding a tablecloth.

  to this, jimin rolled his eyes and continued shuffling through some flyers in his hand. “we’re not even selling fresh fish this month.” in front of him was instead a variety of different seafood products, such as artisanal spread, marinated seafood in jars and sustainably sourced caviar. 

  meanwhile, you were proud of what you scrambled together last minute. cartons of eggs, jugs of milk, yogurt, and quick-growing crops like microgreens and radishes. you took your job very seriously and wanted to make a good impression on the townsfolk.

  “thank you, y/n! hoseok, can you put some sunblock on for once? sheesh, you’re going to get burnt!” hoseok’s mom, mrs. jung, was one of your first customers that day and happily took home some fresh basil and eggs. her sneer at hoseok was clear as day, even underneath her floppy hat, snapping at her son from right beside you.

  hoseok groaned. “mom, i’m almost thirty. stop!” and still, he reached into his bag and pulled out a bottle of sunscreen. 

  mrs. jung ignored him. “bye, y/n! bye jiminnie!” she blew a kiss to jimin, which made hoseok grumble.

  you laughed at the interaction, as you fanned yourself with one of jimin’s flyers. it’d been less than an hour since the market began and it was still early in the morning, so the square was sparse. you could even look down to your left and still see seokjin’s booth on the other side of the market, beside the mayor’s booth manned by namjoon. 

  it was now the end of june and marked your first month in town. the skies were clear and bright, a sight that you promised yourself you wouldn’t take for granted. every morning, you woke up before the sun did and by the time the morning came up to greet you, you were filled with vibrant energy for the day.

  “hi unnie! you look like you’re in a good mood today!” it was jiwon, holding onto peanut with one hand and her teddy bear in another. she was stylish for a kid her age, wearing jeans and a trendy graphic t-shirt that you suspected was jungkook’s influence.

  taking a cautious scan of your surroundings, you let out a quiet breath of relief when you saw that jungkook wasn’t around. he was definitely nearby, though, you had a feeling he wouldn’t let jiwon roam around with the puppy with anyone else.

  you greeted, “hi jiwon! you’re up early.” it was about nine in the morning and if you were a kid, you would not be a morning person during summer vacation.

  “yeah, oppa made me come with him,” she yawned extra loud, clutching her leash close.

  to your right, jimin cleared his throat. “where is jungkook?” he asked.

  “he’s avoiding y/n,” jiwon sang, like it was a normal thing to say out of the blue.

  your ears turned pink. you thought the two of you were good. it’d been over a week since your dinner with him at the saloon. now come to think about it, since your last encounter, jungkook had yet to make another return to the farm to finish whatever gate he was repairing - you stopped keeping track at some point, just letting him come over and continuing to hope that he found something new to fix. 

  hoseok pinched his nose. “jiwon, you can’t rat my boy out like that,” he whispered, side-eying you, even though you could clearly see. 

  to add fuel to the fire, you noticed the way jimin was scoping his surroundings. his eyes narrowed over to a corner, where you finally saw jungkook talking to mayor kim. when you did so, he looked over and made eye contact with you for the briefest of seconds, before darting away. before you knew it, jimin began hollering.

  “hey! jungkook! come here!”

  “what are you doing?” you hissed, taking a step towards jimin’s booth. “i thought we made a truce, park jimin.”

  “trust me, i’m helping you out.” jimin’s cheeky grin made you take a deep breath, holding back profanity for jiwon.

  you weren’t sure if the boys knew anything about what was going on with you and jungkook. hell, you weren’t even sure what was going on with you and jungkook. ever since he began detatching, you’d become confused and kept second guessing if you said or did something wrong. maybe coming by his house randomly was weird, but he did the exact same thing. the way he randomly suggested taehyung as a date for you also sent mixed signals.

  jungkook and mayor kim looked towards your direction, taken aback. then, jungkook gave the latter a polite smile, before walking in your direction. great.

  “did you need help with something, jimin?” the tight-lipped smile and tone coming from jungkook indicated he didn’t want to help with anything at all.

  jimin’s smile remained on his face, as he shook his head. “have you seen y/n’s, uh, cilantro? so fresh.”

  you turned to jimin, dumbfounded, but also irritated that you got roped into the conversation. meanwhile, jiwon batted her eyelashes, looking back and forth between you and her brother. her innocent demeanour was almost convincing, but you knew you were dealing with a jeon here. 

  “oh, hi. i didn’t see you there, y/n,” jungkook said. 

  bullshit. your tablecloth was bright yellow, compared to jimin and hoseok using the same white for their booths. you were wearing red lipstick and a sundress. he definitely noticed you. this made your jaw tense, annoyed that jungkook was acting different out of nowhere.

  “yup,” was all you could say, a dry tone settling in your voice.

  jungkook raised his eyebrows. “late night or something?” he asked, as if your voice indicated fatigue.

  “no.”

  “your eyebags say otherwise.” usually, jungkook teased you with a certain playfulness, but he instead matched your dry tone.

  hoseok immediately interjected, “oh, haha! ha - uh, haha!” he forced laughter out as if pushing with brute force, looking at you and jungkook strangely. the question in his eyes read what’s wrong with you two clear as day.

  you shrugged and luckily at that very moment, a small family began walking in your direction and approached your booth. on the other hand, jungkook suddenly became fascinated with the infused syrups at hoseok’s table and found the energy to talk his ear off about the ingredients. you missed the way jiwon shot a dirty look at jimin, as if this was his fault.

  “why are they acting weird?” jimin whispered to the smaller girl, as if buddies gossiping on the playground. 

  jiwon only rolled her eyes and huffed, walking away with peanut. she murmured things under her breath about adults being useless, wondering why she had to wake up early all to witness a dumpster fire between you and jungkook. she walked away, muttering to herself something about how she was determined to prove she was the only one with brains around here.

  𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. @sstrongstyletyle @wobblewobble822@taiwan0618 @seokout @firelcrds @xwniazx @shellyyy177

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Parallels in “Nosferatu” (2024)

Three nights. Three vampire hunters. Three of everything:

Three main themes (disease, death and sex) connected to trauma, pain and violence. In his own essay to “The Guardian” about his “Nosferatu”, Robert Eggers writes: “what are we to make of stories like this? What kind of trauma, pain and violence is so great that even death cannot stop it? It’s a heartbreaking notion. The folk vampire embodies disease, death, and sex in a base, brutal and unforgiving way.”

Three nights. Three goals:

"You are not for the living. You are not for human kind": force Ellen to confront her own power (death);

"You deceive yourself": destroy Ellen's Victorian self-deception (her power won't ever be accepted by Victorian society)

"Remember how once we were? A moment. Remember?": compell Ellen to remember their shared trauma by forcing other characters to relive it (reincarnation theme + "Wuthering Heights" inspiration)

Three main "blood plague" victims and deliriums: unbearable guilt (Thomas), burdens of reproduction (Anna Harding), maddening grief (Friedrich Harding).

"I’ll kill him! He shall never harm you again. Never! [...] Please, it is my fault! Forgive me my dear, sweet friend!" "Suffocating… I… feel so weak… I… I fear little Friedrich is so strong and hungry, he’s eating me weary." "Anna, my love. Our son … our little son… forgive me. I shall never sleep again. Never."

Three times is Ellen compared to a fairy-like being:

"She is truly a… nonpareil of beauty. Almost a sylph." "Father… he would find me in our fields… within the forest… as if – I was his little changeling girl." "You mustn’t be swept up in her fairy ways."

Three times is Ellen told she's not for the living:

"You, you... You are not for the living. You are not for human kind." "I told you, you are not of human kind." "In heathen times you might have been a great priestess of Isis."

Three times is Thomas warned about "Orlok's shadow":

"Beware his shadow. The shadow covers you in nightmare. Awake, but a dream. There is no escape. Pray. Pray." "You are lost in his shadow. Enchanters turn their spirit into shadow to infect your dreams. Remain here!" "Wait! You are not yet well!"

Three times Thomas is laughed at by characters affiliated with Orlok, or Orlok himself:

"He [Orlok] has one foot in the grave, as they say." "Yesternight was but the eve of their Szent András. Our common people say it is the darkest witching night when Devil’s magic bids the wolf to speak with tongues of men, and every nightmare freely treads upon this earth, ascendent from the torturous grave." [extended cut]

Three times Orlok was a shadow at Ellen's window:

"Soon I will be no more a shadow to you. Your spirit was never enough. Soon our flesh shall embrace and we shall be as one." (Because that's all he was to her in her teenage years)

Three times Ellen mentions dreams of Death/Orlok:

"I must tell you my dream. No… It was our wedding…. Yet not in chapel walls. Above was an impenetrable thundercloud outstretched beyond the hills. The scent of the lilacs was strong in the rain… and when I reached the altar, you weren’t there. Standing before me, all in black… was… Death. But I was so happy, so very happy. We exchanged vows, we embraced, and when we turned round, everyone was dead. Father… and… everyone. The stench of their bodies was horrible. And – But I had never been so happy as that moment… as I held hands with Death." "Professor… My dreams grow darker, they sicken me. Does evil come from within us or from beyond?" "He stalks me in my dreams, all my sleeping thoughts are of him, every night!"

Three times Orlok is shown to feed on souls (soul in the blood/ strigoi myth):

Thomas exorcisim "You will press thy lips to my cold mouth and I will drink upon thy soul." [extended cut] "I relinquished him my soul…"

Three times Clara and Louise Harding spoke (foreshadowing devices):

"No! We can’t! There is a monster in the room! Papa! Papa! Don’t let her feed me to the monster!! Stab him!" "Mama! Papa! Is that the monster?" "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep."

Three failed "spikes of cold iron":

Three times Orlok conjures pure horror before feeding:

Three times Orlok is identified as Solomonar:

"A black enchanter he was in life. Şolomonari. The Devil preserved his soul that his corpse may walk again in blaspheme." "Solomonari. And their codex of secrets." "Our Nosferatu is of an especial malignancy. He is an arch-enchanter, Şolomonari, Satan’s own learnèd disciple." [extended cut]

Three times Orlok is seen performing sorcery:

“Your husband is lost to you. Dream of me. Only me.” (Solomonari Sex Magick ritual) “Nature, increase thy thunders, and hasten me upon the wings of thy barbarous winds" (Solomonari weathermaker or Dacian cloud traveler) [Without subtitles]: Orlok influences Thomas' dreams for him to kick Ellen out of bed

Three Solomonari Sex Magick rituals:

"Your lordship. It is entirely as you have demanded of me. He shall presently be in thy rule, and I shall attend thee here, near the object of thy contract!" "Your husband is lost to you. Dream of me. Only me." "And so the maiden fair did offer up, her love unto the beast, and with him lay, in close embrace until the first cock crow. Her willing sacrifice thus broke the curse, and freed them from the plague of Nosferatu."

Three spiritual obsession scenes linking Herr Knock and Ellen (Orlok has to be summoned for these communications to happen):

"He is coming." [Who, who is?] ‘Twas He that invoked me! ’Twas I that was chosen to serve Him for I know what He covets. And He shall cast upon you curses, confusion, affliction and rebuke, for you have forsaken me! And He shall reign over all your empty corpses! Devourence!" "Enduring night… a spectre of death… He… he… spreads his shadow… and… and… he is coming– [Who, damn you!? Speak!!] I shall persist to join you every night, first in sleep, then in your arms. Everything will be mixed with abomination, and you'll be knee-deep in blood. Everyone will cry. There will be none to bury the dead. You are promised to me!" "Help me! Help me!" "His Lordship! He is come!" "He is here!"

Three kneeling scenes:

"Pray then, instruct me, my Lord. Charge me. Use me. Yet my Lord, I beg thee." [Silence, dog! Your entreaties grow insolent. You shall crave of me nothing.] "Please, have pity, Thomas is very poorly and… Friedrich, you must listen to me, we are all in the most grave danger – I throw myself at your feet! [Frau Hutter, please!] Listen to me, please! "No! Please. I’ll be good, I’ll be good..."

Three times Orlok placed intentions inside of Thomas' head:

"Get off me. Give me room. I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe… Get off!" “Another night has passed. More blood shall stain thy hands. Tomorrow shall be his last.” [extended cut] “I will drive a spike of cold iron through him. [...] No. I will not wait ‘til morning! We must stop him now. I feel his hold upon me this night."

Three times the "reincarnation theme" is introduced in the dialogue:

"Yet, I cannot be sated without you. Remember how once we were? A moment. Remember?" "He took me as his lover then, and now he has come back. He has discovered our marriage and has come back!" [this "then" is 300 years ago] "You could never please me as he could."

Three times Friedrich-Anna Harding paralleled Ellen-Orlok (mirror pairs)

[In public.] "I cannot resist you, my love." Friedrich and Anna sex scene [extended cut] = Ellen and Orlok sex scene "Let this your tender embrace keep me now in bliss, away from everlasting sleep." "And so the maiden fair did offer up her love unto the beast, and with him lay, in close embrace until the first cock crow. Her willing sacrifice thus broke the curse, and freed them from the plague of Nosferatu."

The three main themes connect Anna-Friedrich and Ellen-Orlok final scenes:

Disease (Blood plague); Sex (Necrophilia) and Death (self-explanatory) Wedding dress - kiss - sex

Three times Ellen's destiny is mentioned, and in connection to Orlok:

"Look at the sea! Does it never call to you? Urge you? Something is close at hand- Destiny!" "Yet even now we are fated." "You run in vain! You cannot out-run her destiny!"

Three times is Ellen's faith seen (enchantress):

"Come to me. Come to me: A guardian angel, a spirit of comfort – spirit of any celestial sphere – anything – hear my call. Come to me." [Have you so little faith in me?] "I will send you my utmost faith and you will write to me every day." "He does not have power over you, Thomas. I place my utter faith in you." [...] "I bid you, come to me."

Three times the Dawn is connected to Orlok, Ellen, Thomas and Herr Knock:

Knock: "I shall then stifle out the bridegroom, your Lordship." Orlok: "I have use in him." Knock: "Pray then, instruct me, my Lord. Charge me. Use me. Shall I fetch unto thee thy pretty belonging?" Orlok: "The compact commands she must willingly re-pledge her vow. She cannot be stolen [...] Daybreak draws near. Anon the bells of dawn shall toll in despair of my coming. And I shall taste of you."

Three "possession" scenes:

Orlok takes control over Thomas' soul (Solomonari Sex Magick Divorce ritual) Orlok possesses Thomas to have sex with Ellen ("Possession scene") Orlok possesses Ellen's soul (Breaking of Nosferatu curse)

Three are the ways Ellen’s heart (soul) is connected to Orlok:

[Your words spring from your honest heart] “My heart [locket] is lost without my Thomas.”  "Kiss my heart! My heart!”  [the "possession scene" | "No! Orlok!"] Her giving Orlok her heart/soul to feed on (heart blood): her blood plague delirium is love

Three interrupted sex scenes (only Orlok carries on):

"The honeymoon was yet too short! Take off your shoes. One minute more." "Stop. Stop my love. Do you hear that?" [extended cut] "More... more..."

Three representations of unbearable grief:

[wakacreations]

Raphael: When the Contract Ends

Authors Note:

My brain goes through long stretches of inspiration for either writing or digital art. So far it has been digital art but I managed so finish this one shot that was collecting dust in my wip writing folder.

If you favor AO3

Word Count: 1725

Summary:

Raphael watches what should have been a climatic ending as the Netherbrain falls. Where did the hero disappear off to when they should have appeared to take their final bow?

You always come to surprise me, little mouse. No matter how unabashedly you played the hero, I admit you have impressed me. I didn’t believe you would make it this far but you always exceed my expectations except for this one. Like one of the Archdevils you plummeted to the desolate land below. It is not within my nature to intervene at such a spectacle when the finale has come to its final resolution.

The anticipation is maddening to witness what will become of the savior of Baldur’s Gate and of this plane. The crown will be firmly in my hands in the end. There is nothing for I to hold any ounce of concern. The fireworks were overhead dissipating as the elder brain was no more. The remnants scatter themselves to be devoured by the Chionthar. I, the fox must watch and wait at the most opportune time as I have always done. Seeing your silhouette sunk beneath my horizon, all battered, bruised and stained with life that doesn’t match your complexion.

No one weeps for one less mouse on the material plane. They are to be long forgotten like the many other vermin that fall prey to their own hubris. Time is ticking away, little mouse. Will you claw your way and grasp the victory in mere moments or will this be how far such a tenacious pipsqueak of a hero endures. Such a shame really, you have grown to become one of my favorite clients. There is a feast in the wait for my most favored mouse. 

I hear the pulse of your ever slowing rhythm. Running through my palm to the fingertips, I am attuned to you. I could just as easily squeeze these threads leaving the vibrations to grow still. Better yet with a twitch of a claw sever them with one fluid motion.

Come now little mouse, impress me once more. You haven’t quite left just yet. There is still an inkling of your presence. With a pluck of a finger your heart will still race. You feel it don't you? You have escaped death throughout your journey. Experienced such confides and yet now, you would choose to bow like a lowly hound? It is unbecoming of you to be this dull. How much farther will you plunge? It seems farther still as you are intent on joining the brain to sink together to the lowly bottom, disappearing into nothingness such like all waters leading to the Styx. Will you simply be like those long forgotten souls?

The strings have become taut and just a slight reverberation is all that's left. They are looking for you, mouse. Those companions of yours. How long will you stay before breaching the surface or would this be your grand departure? Are you bidding time to resurrect like a gallant Faerunian fable? When hope has arrived but your merryband is left to mourn basking in the sunset. With some witty one liner to close the end of this tale you will crawl upon the docks coughing up rancid grey water. Any minute now mouse. Your cue is here and I am waiting.

Their cries have gone desperate as they thrash about in the waters, surfacing and diving deeper endlessly searching for you, the hero to be. Any minute now I am sure. You will turn up. 

From here where I stand I observe your companions you hold so dear as grief settles upon them all. The last sliver of light fading off to the natural predictable end. When all hope is lost I have told you I will be here when your time runs out. You slip through my hand. No, not yet as much as you tease.

The flare for the dramatics, mouse? Beg, borrow, and steal is what I have told you. Will you do so again? You have done so before; clinging desperately to that measly precious life you viewed with such naive wonder and still proceeded to have fought for valiantly regardless. For this to be your end? A waste of your talents and wit of a mortal gifted favors from the final scribe themselves, that have come to be the source of my amusement. In death you will still pay your dues that you have signed in your rich ink.

What I do for an ungrateful client. For the hero that needs a savior till the very end. With a flap of my wings I ascended forth scanning for the tells of your shimmering gassily hue against the floating debris. You learnt how to remain silent as a corpse though I thought you preferred to chatter than to be surrounded by the suffocating still air.

How apted you have come to rest in an expansive grave devoid of such necessity. Succumbing to the oxygen you took for granted with every word uttered from behind your self assured smile. You, the being that never wavered as you made clear of your resolve. Mortals are always so bold until fate discards them on a whim.

I have always had the eye to find those who had potential. What am I but the devil that knows. There is much that I do. I will make the most out of this obligation of ours. We are bound, you and I.

Ah, there you are. I felt the draw of you beneath my hand pulling I towards where you lay submerged underneath the battering waves. Call for me, mouse. You know better. There is no need for your vessel when you have your own will to command.

The gods are no longer listening to your pleas. There is none left for them to gain. Their precious realms have been saved. Their devoted worshipers are spared from further tragedy. You have already served your purpose to them. Their curtains are drawn.

Come now, little mouse. In proper rapport I have met you halfway. I have already met my end of our agreement. Are you attempting to elude yours? Insolent insignificant little creature, I will hold you to the bitter end. Shaking free of my infernal visage to give chase through the endless Ninth or is it more the Abyss given your nature.

There are tasks in need of my attention I would rather be tending to than plunging down into these foul waters to where you are made to drift without any semblance of purpose nor the drive to attend your deserving applause. 

What is left here but the absence of outward sensations and the heightened awareness of one's own senses, a justly punishment if I've ever seen as the semblance of this plane vanishes. What better place for you to be left becoming lost with the seafoam or simply eaten by the awaiting lurking maws. I swam towards your fading silhouette. You are already claimed.

There was the empty shell of you now, curled up basking in the humble circumstances you have found yourself in. Isolation. Where I should allow for you to continue to dwell till the accumulating pressure forces the stubborn cerulean wisp to violently return to that hollow husk of a skull.

Reaching out to you to drag you back to where you truly belong, I caught the glimpse of the familiar rays I have grown fond of. Mouse, I suppose I unfairly doubted you. I pulled the weightless cadaver against my flesh. You have kept a devil on their toes. Always with the unforeseen twists. Tucking away my possession within my arms; well there is a reason to never assume before reading the last line. We were greeted by the heaven’s above with every kick. The devil is in the details I'm afraid for I, and you. 

You will hand me the crown. Those were the words etched onto the parchment. Luck would have you. The beating heat enraptured our glistening forms. Upwards the gaze of the wayward will seek guidance to the new coming reign. Your companions look upon us with a mix of horror and relief as the rest of the realms will fall in line. Nestled against my breast you held my heart's desire. The warm winds enveloping in our descent through towards the refuge. Our obligation has concluded but as one last parting gift. You will be made to see the fruits of your labor.

In your palm with Death’s fingers gripping the means to the end. I have met you encircling my own claws around the band. Returning you to your companions as your frame comes to settle on the harbor but the devil always collects. I took in the sight of you now. Thank you for you, little mouse. I am humbly honored. You have paid in full with interest. There is much waiting for us, mouse. I arose from where I kneeled. The ringing of bells are in the distance. Rolling the coin between the knuckles, I turn to leave, adieu.

The Hells will be waiting in joyous celebration. With a final flip of such a precious coin and a whistle in farewell, the radiant lights will gleam crimson against the rolling clouds. The familiar scene I have grown fond to witness unfold. Faerun was off limits as we both have come to agree. Do you believe I have forgotten about such an arrangement? There was a reason for I to say the devil was in the details for I and for you.

You think I am but a fool who will be compelled to end this game of ours with merely receiving my rightful crown? I will not be squandered from what I have deservingly earned through my millennias of tribulations. You should have listened to your companions. They did give a fair warning on their part but the hero knows best aye? Don't think I have forgotten as I watched you through the acts time and time again.

You honestly believe I haven't noticed when I glanced in your direction? Did you enjoy yourself in our time together, little mouse as you scurried about behind your screen? I will be seeing you very soon. Like I said before there is much a devil knows. I will use you well and I will be waiting. We have yet to dine as promised till then ta ta for now and remember to open your home when you hear the ringing of the bell or that unexpected knocking at your door, won’t you?

[wandamaximoffispure]

Okay here's a thought I've had for awhile (precisely two weeks)

I would like to preface this by saying I don't think Rio did anything wrong in taking Nicky and I 10000% as Nicky's daddy, it hurt her tremendously to take him. I also don't believe for a second that Rio made Agatha kill witches to appease her to keep Nicky alive, and I also don't think it was done as a distraction.

I think Agatha was killing witches to gain power in order to protect Nicky (That's why "the truth was too awful" what powered up mom can't save and protect their child?). I think Nicky was just plain weak (not in a bad way, in a 1750s way) he DID die during childbirth but Rio moved on, letting him live and essentially giving him life, but he was also sick. You see it in him growing up and I refuse to believe Agatha kept him frail and skinny to pull in witches. Rio didn't kill him, as Agatha says in ep 8, sometimes boys die.

THAT BEING SAID Some folks need to give Agatha grace in her anger and her grief. As a mom with a NORMAL lifespan, six years IS nothing (mine is 5). At six you're really getting to know them. You might start getting their personality in toddler years but once you can really talk to them is when you truly start to learn about them. But AGATHA by the time the show starts in 350, she was roughly 75 when she had Nicky. Six years is a SECOND to Agatha. With her genes and her powers, Nicky could still be alive.

Second, Rio says "I can give only time" but never specifies. Imagine raising your child knowing Death would take them but never knowing when. The constant dread of losing a child you "made from scratch" and loved tremendously would be maddening. So for Agatha, getting a simple taste of motherhood then continuing to live for another 270 years without your child is truly nothing.

[samaeljigoku]

Since he's never really gotten an official one, I wrote up my own concept for Carne's backstory. He was suggested to be very vicious, bloodthirsty and angry in-series, so hopefully this conveys some of that and a possible reason why. If you want to suggest specifics or things to add, please let me know! I would be interested to know what you think:

----------

Carne was born in a rural town couched in mountains near the Swiss-Italian border to a family whose once-proud legacy was their butchery business. To their eventual undoing, the family was almost as famous for their greed and unusual cageyness, keeping their distance from the other villagers outside of work.

As time went on, rumors spread about Carne and his family that they were using stolen farm animals and pets, and even fresh bodies from the cemetery, to make their delicious meats. While few of these rumors were true, there was some truth to the cannibalism, which his father's side of the family practiced ritually. Butchery came so natural to Carne as he grew older that he did not question when his father presented a human corpse before him to teach him how to prep its meat. Though he did always wonder if his father had simply stolen the bodies or had murdered them.

After a string of bizarre child disappearances occurred in the area, the family was targeted as part of a witch hunt after the locals began to suspect them as being the perpetrators. However, in this they were innocent - despite the family's dark practices, Carne never once saw a child on their chopping block.

Forced to flee to southern Italy, leaving most of their belongings and historical home behind, the family was now almost penniless, their name disgraced as the cannibalism rumor spread like wildfire. Carne's father soon fell ill to a mysterious illness, likely related to his forbidden culinary habits, and passed away. His mother, maddened by despair and grief, followed soon after, leaving Carne completely alone.

Distrusted from both the incident in his hometown and his silent, off-putting stoic demeanor, he was barred from getting a job in his trade. Growing somewhat desperate, he accepted the first and only offer that came along - a job with Passione. Right away, it was clear that it would involve a more "clandestine" form of butchery, of the sort his father did, but that was ideal for Carne. He craved violence, vengeance, and this felt perfect for sating that craving - a sort of punishment for the public, who had destroyed everything he had and he now held nothing but contempt for.

With each "job" he undertook, Carne's heart crystallized harder. His methods grew more vicious, his desire for destruction expanding into a gluttonous indulgence, a need to dissect and destroy his victims piece-by-piece until they were nothing but raw sausage. He even started to devour the evidence himself. And soon, out of this viscera, his Stand, the Notorious B.I.G., was born. Not even death would be more than a pothole in his path now, and after his mission was complete, he would wake from death as if from a soft dream, his gluttony appeased for a time.

This ice-cold cruelty caught the attention of Passione's elite, especially Cioccolata and Diavolo. Carne's bull-like bloodlust and fervor combined with his unbreakable nature of silence and keeping his secrets very quickly earned him a spot in L'Unit�� Speciale, who in a way ended up being more of a family to him than even the one he had lost.

---------- P.S. Thanks @ajockeynamedpod for reminding me of this! Hope you like it if you read it. :)

[pyrettawychwiggin]

Come With Me (Oneshot) - Crow x Guardian (Destiny 2)

The following oneshot contains spoilers for The Final Shape beneath the cut. Tread carefully, Guardian.

What to Expect: SFW, fluff, cute

I put this together shortly after Ch'ak and I completed The Final Shape campaign. I've been a bit of Crow stan ever since I first started playing, so naturally, I ship my own hunter with him pretty hard-core.

That being said, seeing as how my Guardian, Vera, respected and got along well with Amanda, she rooted for her and Crow despite her feelings, honestly feeling that she would be good for him (until they hit their rocky patch). If anything were to happen between she and Crow now, I feel like it would be a bit of a slow burn, so maybe eventually I'll write more about them.

Anywho, enjoy!

♡

♡

♡

Vera sat atop the overlook high above the Dreaming City, one leg tucked into her chest, the other dangling over the ledge. She gazed out to the skies shimmering in hues of ammolite, a stark contrast to the pearlescent white structures towering over the misty green landscape.

The words kept echoing in her head.

Now, you tell the others that this was my choice.

She removed her helmet and set it aside with a huff, feeling more and more constricted by her grief.

My Light.

She felt her chest grow tight, and the familiar sting of tears threatening to fall.

Nobody makes my fate but me.

Her hands burned with the phantom sensation of Cayde's over hers.

You're my favourite. Don't ever forget that.

Her mind returning to the moment Cayde's Light - that bittersweet cataclysm - crashed through her consciousness and brought Doppler back to her - but at a cost she wished he hadn't needed to pay.

"Vera?" Doppler hovered just a few feet away at her side. "Maybe we should get back."

"Sorry, Dopps - just..." Vera shook her head and sniffled, using the palm of her hand to dry her waterline. "Just a little bit longer."

"Well, alright..."

Dopps' robotic tone was still full of concern. Usually his guardian was far more forthcoming with her feelings; she notoriously wore her heart on her sleeve, but ever since they'd returned from the Pale Heart for the final time since the Witness' unmaking, it felt as if her heart had been sealed off in a steel vault. On occasion, he'd see her eyes brimming with the shine of tears, but she wasn't allowing herself to fully break down like he knew she needed to; the next moment, her expression would harden again; as if she were actively reigning herself in - blocking off her feelings, which most certainly was not like her.

"I'm here," he said softly, almost as if he was afraid that breaking the silence would shatter her into dust. "If you need to talk."

Vera nodded before Dopps disappeared to give her a moment of privacy. Perhaps if she wouldn't allow herself to cry in front of him, she'd be more comfortable if there was no one else around.

The area was silent and still once more, but Vera's expression remained blank. She had no idea how long she'd been there, or how long she planned on staying, but she knew if she really wanted, she had all the time in the world; which perhaps made the whole concept all the more maddening.

"Guardian," a familiar voice broke the silence once more, making her jolt a little. "I thought I'd find you here."

Crow carefully approached her, stopping about a meter away to wait for her to respond.

"Crow." Vera rasped, keeping her back turned to him, silently hoping he'd keep this encounter brief. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, for one, you could talk to me." To her dismay, Crow sighed and took a seat on the ledge beside her, giving her a sidelong glance. "You haven't been yourself since we got back. We're all getting a little worried."

"I don't know how to talk about it. This all still doesn't quite feel real, yet."

"Mm." Crow nodded and took a heavy breath, turning his gaze beyond the horizon. "Maybe start with telling me... how are you feeling right now?"

"It changes with each passing thought." Vera frowned and shook her head, furrowing her brow as she attempted to find the words to describe what was in her heart. "I'm furious, I'm heartbroken, I'm confused, but most of all, I feel.... guilty."

"Guilty?" Crow turned his head to look at her again, eyebrows raised in surprise at her choice of words. "Don't tell me you blame yourself for Cayde?"

"No, I... I feel guilty for feeling the way that I do."

"What do you mean?"

"I just can't help but think about the lightless folk. People die around them all the time - and for good - no Ghost to resurrect them from a bullet to the heart or a knife to the throat." Vera hugged her knee closer to her chest. "How many of them have lost people they'd loved and wished more than anything to get to see them one more time; to have one more conversation with them to find that closure they never got to have beforehand?"

Crow frowned and nodded slowly, allowing her to continue her thought.

"We did. We were so lucky to have gotten to hear his smart-ass voice again, and yet I can't help but feel that it just..." Vera's shoulders started to quiver as she felt herself beginning to break. "Wasn't enough."

Crow shuffled closer to the Awoken hunter and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, gently resting his cheek on the top of her head while tears finally started to trickle down her face. She leaned back against him, despite the tingling of her skin that begged her to push him away.

"No amount of time is enough when it comes to someone you love," Crow sighed, feeling his own heart ache for his own losses as well as Vera's. "Were you two really that close?"

"When I first arrived - after Dopps woke me up - I was all over the place." Vera sniffled. "Cayde was also... well, all over the place, but I think that's why I could relate to him. His chaos was like a mirrored version of my own, just so, so much brighter. He was one of my first friends."

"Just friends?" Crow chuckled, giving her arm a playful shake. "I always assumed there was more to it than that."

"No, never." Vera shrugged. She cast her eyes out across the vast landscape and smiled numbly. "He was more like a big brother in my eyes. Or, maybe a mentor - of some sort? I don't know. I loved him with all my heart - but not... like that."

The two Hunters sat in silence for a while before Crow cleared his throat.

"There's a private vigil for Cayde back at the Tower tonight; there won't be many people there, it's really just Cayde's closest friends." He dropped his arm and rose to his feet, dusting himself off and offering a hand to her. "Come with me?"

Vera gulped, staring at his open palm with hesitance. "I don't know if I'll be able to keep it together long enough to be social..."

"You don't have to be social if you don't want to," Crow replied with a sympathetic half-smile and a slight tilt of his head. "Just stick with me; I can do the brunt of the talking today if that's what you need."

Crow... Vera nearly felt as though she'd crumble. He's dealing with his own pain and grief, but he's still looking out for me...

"Okay." Vera wiped her tears off on her sleeve and took his hand, letting him gently hoist her up to her feet, his grip lingering for just a few seconds longer than necessary. "Thank you, Crow. And by the way..."

"Hm?" Crow waited for her to continue.

"I, uh... I like the hair." Vera gave Crow the first genuine smile she'd had for quite some time. "It's nice being able to see the rest of your face."

"O-oh." Crow averted his eyes, his ears darkening slightly in a soft blush. He scratched the bridge of his nose with a bashful chuckle under his breath before silently working up a small ounce of courage, reaching out to softly drift his fingers over her jawline. "Thank you, Vera."

"See?" Glint excitedly popped out from behind Crow's shoulder. "I told you she'd like it."

Crow's shoulders jumped with surprise before he turned and frantically shushed his ghost, making Vera laugh for the first time in weeks.

"I haven't seen you laugh for weeks!" Dopps returned, hovering around Vera almost as if he were dancing with glee, turning to Crow and stating, "you really do bring out the best in her."

"Dopps! Seriously?" Vera hissed, face warm and flushed at the ghost's lack of tact.

Laughing and arm-in-arm, the two hunters transmatted back to the Tower for one last celebration of their fallen hero.

[thicctails]

Ah yes, my favorite Gravity Falls characters: No Self Esteem, Going Off The Deep End, and Not Dealing With Trauma!

[rebelumbrella46]

HOTD 2X02 "Rhaenyra The Cruel" Thoughts!

Green Side:

Aegon: Tom's performance as Aegon was exceptional, allowing me to sympathize with his character throughout the episode. I could deeply feel Aegon's pain and rage, especially in moments where he needed comfort and was denied. Alicent’s inability to provide motherly solace was striking; even Cersei, in all her madness, was a more nurturing mother. Aegon's inadequacies as a king are clear—he’s young and impulsive. One of the episode's standout scenes is Otto reprimanding him, realizing the monumental mistake he made in thinking Aegon could be controlled. Aegon will never be as pliable as Viserys. This parallels the frustration Daemon feels with Rhaenyra, who, ironically, exhibits the patience and indecision that mirror her father.

Otto: Otto is a character I love to hate, and the actor’s portrayal this episode was a highlight for me. His regret and frustration with Aegon’s choices were palpable, showing that karma is catching up to him. I also appreciated the subtle grief Otto displayed when speaking of Viserys, indicating a complex mix of respect and genuine care despite his actions. The scene where he dismisses Alicent’s attempt to seek solace was particularly telling—it highlighted a pattern where comfort is consistently denied, first to Alicent and then by her to Aegon.

Alicent: Alicent was insufferable this episode; I found it impossible to empathize with her. She continually makes the situation about herself, oblivious to her children’s suffering and unable to provide them with any comfort. As someone who has read the books and knows how her story ends, all i can say is that the Gods for more cruel that they are, wouldn't take it out on an innocent child for the crimes you have committed and in the end the punishment would be ten times worst.. a very fitting end if they decide to go for it.

Aemond: Aemond had a brief but significant moment where he confessed his feelings over the incident with Luke. This scene showed a level of remorse that sets him apart from Daemon, particularly in this episode. Aemond’s awareness of the pain his actions cause to others and the brewing rivalry between him and Daemon were well portrayed.

Helaena: Helaena, my poor sweet child, continues to be a character I deeply care for. She doesn’t seem to appreciate the public’s sympathy, as if she knows the whole situation is wrong. And knows these people could so easily turn on her, i'm pretty sure she saw it even. The citizens of King’s Landing have long been depicted as some of the most unsavory characters in the history of Westeros. Their actions and attitudes throughout the series often highlight their fickle and ruthless nature. This is why, every time I recall Daenerys burning the city, I find it difficult to muster any sympathy for them.

The brief encounter on the stairs, where Aegon denies her comfort, reinforces the pattern of emotional neglect seen throughout the episode.

Criston Cole: I have to give immense credit to the writers for their incredible work in depicting Criston Cole. With each episode, my hatred for this character grows exponentially. Kudos to the actor as well, who is doing a marvelous job. But honestly, every time Cole appears on screen, all I can think is: "How much longer until this guy meets his end? Hopefully, it's a very horrible one.". His manipulation of Arryk, sending him to his death, was disgusting.

What’s even more infuriating is Cole's blatant hypocrisy. He projects his own shame and regret onto others, acting as if he's on some moral high ground. His self-righteousness is maddening, especially given his own shady actions. I found myself wishing Otto would expose him in front of Aegon—reveal how, while Aegon's child was being murdered, Cole was with Alicent, another person whose hypocrisy drives me mad. (Like Aerys "the Mad King" kind of mad, wanting to see them both burn)

Despite showing guilt for his actions, he repeatedly makes the same mistakes. The only moment Alicent gained a bit of my appreciation was when she reminded Cole of his betrayal of Rhaenyra’s trust for his absolution last season.

i truly don't want to see anymore of Alicent and Cole intimate scenes.

The decision to name Cole as Hand of the King is a boon for Team Black, as he is likely to make poor decisions and counsel Aegon poorly, ultimately working in their favor.

Black Side:

Rhaenyra standing up to Daemon was a powerful moment. Their confrontation, though painful to watch, was necessary. Daemon’s actions have deeply wounded Rhaenyra, and his lack of remorse is entirely in character. His abrupt departure leaves Rhaenyra in a position where, despite knowing he loves her, she can no longer trust that he will remain by her side.

I'm interested to see what his reaction will be next episode when he finds out that Rhaenyra was almost killed on her bed right after he left her to deal with the consequences of his actions.

Rhaenyra’s concern and regret for Helaena were touching. I believe she would welcome Helaena if she ever chose to leave the Greens. However, I was uneasy about Rhaenyra sending Baela instead of Jace. While I understand her reluctance to risk her heir after losing a child, it felt dismissive of Baela's well-being, who we have to remember is still Rhaenyra's step-daughter.

Baela and Jace: The brief scene where Baela confesses her occasional hatred for Daemon was surprising but added depth to her character. Jace reminiscing about Harwin and Laenor was a nice touch, evoking memories of characters I miss, including Luke.

Rhaenys: As always, Rhaenys remains my favorite character on Team Black. Her knowing look at Daemon, recognizing that only he could have orchestrated such actions, was telling. The quiet moment between Rhaenys and Corlys, reflecting their mutual support despite not being Queen and King, contrasted sharply with the dysfunctional relationships of Viserys and Aemma, Viserys and Alicent, and even Rhaenyra and Daemon.

Mysaria: Mysaria was another highlight for me. Her decision to speak truth to Rhaenyra and return her kindness by saving her life suggests a budding alliance. Rhaenyra needs someone as cunning and insightful as Mysaria to advise her.

The Twins - Arryk and Erryk: The twins' final fight was heartbreaking. Although I wish we had seen more of them this season, their confrontation poignantly illustrated the perils of war and how it harms even those not directly involved in the conflict.

I’m looking forward to seeing Daeron, who was finally mentioned. I can’t help but think he might be the only salvageable son of Alicent, likely because he grew up away from her and Otto’s influence. I’d love to see more of Rhaena and am eager to meet characters like Hugh Hammer and Adam. The brief return of Seasmoke was a pleasant surprise—I missed seeing him too!

Overall, this episode was much stronger than the last.

Rest in peace little Jaehaerys.

P.S: Don't think i didn't see Visenya's and Vhagar's mention this episode, on the book Rhaenyra opens. My favorite Conqueror and targaryen woman. I cannot wait for The Conquest Prequel. So excited

[yuespropagandablog]

Alright I skimmed through the off-Broadway boot of Next to Normal, cause I told @thanatos-zagreus-shagreus that they changed some things but I didn't remember if I was right.

Changes under the cut (for spoilers lol), if you're interested:

A short version of Light is the opening number/replaces the Overture

Everything Else is replaced by Perfect, which shows a more frantic and perfectionist view of Natalie. Everything Else is more about her drive to leave town.

The sandwiches mania in Just Another Day is gone. Instead there's the song Costco, which shows Diana having a manic episode in the grocery store, and Dan coming to pick her up, since the manager called.

Gabriel did die before Natalie's birth. But he was 18 months old, not 8 months. I knew they changed something there, but I misremembered what. I was correct in thinking he was older at time of death, but Natalie still wasn't there.

Catch Me I'm Falling is a little bit longer, giving Natalie and Dan some more time to express how fucked up they are.

Wish I Were Here is replaced by Feeling Electric, which still shows Diana and Natalie interacting in their drugs/electricity haze, but now it's a rock song sung by Dr. Madden The Rockstar. Fun fact, Feeling Electric was the working title of the show, before it turned into Next to Normal.

GROWING UP UNSTABLE MY BELOVED. As I said, it's a great song where Natalie talks about what it is like to grow up in an unstable household. I get why they cut Costco, but I don't really know why they cut this. Maybe it's because Natalie is too sober in this song and reflects clearly on her life, whereas in the show, she's already fucked up by drugs. Same here. Natalie's drug addiction also starts in I'm Alive in the off-Broadway version, but this is a moment of clarity before her mum comes home.

Better Than Before is completely different. I don't even think you can call it the same song.

Dan's version of How Could I Ever Forget was turned into dialogue, where he's less emotional. He recounts Gabriel's death as if he's talking about groceries. Kind of sad. It shows how much Dan is distant about his son's death.

I don't know if they changed the lyrics of I'm Alive - reprise, or if Aaron flubbed his line here.

Also, unfortunately, the "6 months for the life of my child" about grief is gone. Now, Diana just says she's done with doctors.

The dialogue between Natalie and Diana before Maybe is also different. And there's a different song called Everything instead. It's less emotional, since Natalie is more closed-off and skeptical towards Diana. But then Diana still tells Natalie about how her brother died, and Natalie realises her mum is trying, and the ending of "I don't need a life that's normal" is still here.

A neat touch is that Diana has her hair tied up when she sings Didn't I See This Movie, and it stays tied up until after she leaves Dr. Madden's office after Gabriel came back. When she drives Natalie to her dance and talks to her, she unties her hair. A little visual thing to show Diana is trying to go back to being herself.

The little moment between Dan and Dr. Madden in Light is also gone. Instead, before Light, Dr. Madden reads a file about a new patient. It's Dan Goodman, in his 40s, recently divorced, single father, and the file notes it's his first time seeking help. It doesn't actually show the epiphany of Dan realising he needs to accept help, so I get why they cut it, but now there's also no chance to accidentally have the help seeking line sound comedic.

The lyrics of Light are completely different.

There might be more, but as I said, I just sort of skimmed this boot.

Oh, it's here:

[nadas-dirthalen]

Have you ever wonder what Solas would have done if he had been successful tearing down the Veil and bring the old age back, but his Inquisitor lover ended up dying because of the Veil tearing? Because that unsent letter of his has made me wonder that.

Talks about how he wants her to see how beautiful his world is, but forgets how much Inquisitor loves the Thedas of today and would very likely have been one of many causalities to happen because, let's face it, Solas plans but those plans always screw up.in one way or another. Would he live in that revived old world of his just thinking her death was just another sacrifice for his original end goal or would he end up repeating history after a time and try to bring back the Thedas she knew out of guilt, pride, and grief, at the expense of everyone else? What do you think would have happened?

What a GLORIOUS ask. Seriously. I am SO happy to be asked this!! Thank you thank you thank you, anon!!!

That said, my only fear is I won't do this essay justice, lmfao.

Have you ever wonder what Solas would have done if he had been successful tearing down the Veil and bring the old age back, but his Inquisitor lover ended up dying because of the Veil tearing?

Yes. Yes, I HAVE.

We know from In Hushed Whispers that tearing the Veil down made red lyrium grow EVERYWHERE. We learned, also, that red lyrium is often blighted. DATV gave us more nuance, differentiating between a maddened titan (red, but not necessarily blighted) and when that titan's madness escalates while their dreams are sundered/trapped (red AND blighted).

Freeing those sundered dreams by tearing down the Veil would make all lyrium the latter, instantaneously, I am guessing. From that point, we would have the largest blight to ever blight. A blight that instantly covered all of Thedas, and likely senselessly infected everyone all at once. Survivors would be... rare.

I think the reason, the only reason, that Solas believes Lavellan might survive (if not his own promise to protect her) is that the anchor (one of the Evanuris foci, so one of the titans' sundered dreams) has changed her physiology and spirit forever.

Yes, I have a post in the works about why I think the Inquisitor has been immortal since the moment of the Conclave. Suffice it to say: I think it's because the Inquisitor is like Harding, but... the Fade version.

That's its own post, though.

For now, Solas' hypothesis that Lavellan might be immortal is just that: a hypothesis. And even if her body is unaging, even if she is immune to the blight, that does not mean she cannot be killed via mortal means (we see the Anchor do this in Trespasser). So she might not die of old age or the blight, but she can die.

I think Solas lives in denial about that. You're absolutely right in that her death would've been a surprise to him, and a crushing blow.

Would he live in that revived old world of his just thinking her death was just another sacrifice for his original end goal or would he end up repeating history after a time and try to bring back the Thedas she knew out of guilt, pride, and grief, at the expense of everyone else?

Solas, as a spirit given a lyrium body, cannot process emotions on his own. He needs external help—and Varric and Lavellan were some of the only sources of that help.

With them gone? I don't know what actions he would do. Frankly, I don't even want to guess. I only know what I believe he would become: utterly cold and uncaring. The worst of himself. Boundless Pride, with a lyrium body mined from a titan that became Terror (I made a post about that one).

And he would act on only those two things... forever.

The Mythal that was murdered would never have come back, unless he could find a way to un-sunder her. And even then? The half that has lived in mortal hosts is completely changed. "Mythal" wouldn't be the same person Solas knew from before. Even if she were, we all know that that Mythal wasn't emotionally fulfilling to Solas, no matter what you headcanon their bond to be.

I don't think he would ever heal. We see in the "Fight" ending that Solas shouts he is a god, showing that if he is dealt one more huge blow to his spirit, then he tips all the way over into Pride and fully embraces himself as one of the Evanuris. I think Evanuris War & Rebellion 2.0 would've started and lasted forever. To Solas, that was home, for a long, long time. I think that that version of him believes it is the only place he will ever belong.

But that doesn't mean it was ever safe. Or happy. Or remotely good. Or what he needed at all.

And I think he would realize his mistake too late to have the heart to fix it all—again.

[aho-dapa]

Just some rambles on The Stranger, and like, by no means am I saying I'm correct about my interpretation, I'm just exploring a different idea

*also, a personal note about death, grief, and parental abuse

Reading the Stranger rn and it's soooooo painfully idk obvious?? Or at least relatable that Meursault is autistic

Like, the book is from his pov but I honestly think his "lack" of emotion comes from his own nebulous understanding of them

He feels content while never saying it but acting it out, and he focuses on moments as if he's been struck by them but can't plainly state why

Tbh, idk, but being sentimental about it, Meursault (and how it's interpreted within him being an absurd character) kills for no reason.

Except there was, aside from the excuses of the knife or Meursault's mood. Its the sun. The sun that supposedly represents the meaninglessness of life and death as something inevitable but

Idk, I'd say to some extent, the sun is ambivalent to meaning, but that doesn't mean it doesn't help life grow or just as equally destroy it either

Rather, it's something that can't be moved by sentiment in this worldview and by extension, Meursault is blinded by the sun

Also just from a personal indulgence, I would say that Meursault's mother is the sun, and so is he too by some extent.

I've heard that people say the dog is his mother, but I also wonder if the dog is Meursault as well

"Why does Salamano treat his dog that way?"

And like, idk I think a lot of Meursault’s limited portrayal of emotion as he himself narrates it makes sense to me with the idea of it all connecting back to his mother

They are inseparable, the same, and they both meet their end

From the perspective of someone with not a great mother, this premise is relatable and maddening, it doesn't make sense, and like to be frank because I've been dancing around it because I feel like I'm projecting but,

With parental abuse and love, there is a sense of both chains and disattachment that honestly terrified me because it came from a place of 'this is how society expects you grieve' and I didn't, not in the way that's viewed as "acceptable" or "normal" either

Also, as someone who lost someone years ago, I didn't grieve by crying or being distraught for months because of it, I grieved by remembering and letting go

As a kid, I understood that my quiet was not what was expected, and kissing the cold forehead of someone I loved after they've died, I've resolved myself to never go to a funeral ever again

In some way, if Meursault’s mother was abusive, from the perspective of a child, these actions are absurd and don't make sense until kids try to either make a reason themselves or they are told

But also. Just coming from an autistic perspective, Meursault doing or not doing certain things at his mother’s funeral is categorized as him not caring for his mother (or at least enough) and like????? His actions have no relation really to his emotions

Idk, I just think I've read a lot of takes that Meursault is completely emotionless and that's like??? Idk, I don't agree at all

Also, I think Meursault's ambiguous relationships and nebulous emotions are the point tbh

(Which allows for literal interpretations like mine)

[uninhibited-introspections]

The legacy left by you

3 months post your death and i wonder if you have any idea what you and your wife have done to your daughter, somedays I wish you had been kinder to her perhaps then I wouldn’t have been left to drown in the wreckage of her unprocessed grief and pain. The endless screaming matches, sharp-edged words, suffocating tension and I’m so damn tired of it all, done of walking on eggshells, done pretending it’s what families do.. I don’t want to pick up her pieces, her pretentious offers of help or bear the burden of her blood. I just want out- a desperate need to escape this house and to finally breathe where everything is mine alone. The thought of it alone maddens me so look at what i've become your beloved granddaughter reduced to a crippled liminal presence..unable to run or stay, unable to live or die caught in purgatory someone worse than a disappointment,unrecognizable, fragmented and hollow. To say that you abandoned your daughter would be unjust when you see her wry smile, but I see her crumbling every night..and it is often horribly true. A truth so terrifying and tragic that everytime i see her bleeding all over the upholstery and see her bloodied face, injuries.

A maddening smile always greets me stretching on her bruised face and it sneers "Do you like what you see? here are the remnants of your beloved grandparents abuse to their sole kin, look at your wretched mother". Her voice raw and trembling filled with devastating fury consuming the room "Look at how they've stripped my life from me and see what their neglect and hate did to me" always collapsing with soft broken whimpers of "Won't you save your mother?" a plea soaked in despair clinging to the hope that i might rescue her from this hell created by you. A routine performance of hers so painful and devastating leaving a deep rancor in my heart for her..I abhor my mother making me detach myself from you all. Isn't it strange how happier i felt doing that, how weird i feel sitting with her feeling nothing but vexation? Growing up and seeing your mother's flaws is like losing a part of your soul, i don't believe in love anymore and i don't believe in her anymore, and oh what did i even expect? to leave a hemorrhage of violets wherever i walked? A lost daughter is just lost and maybe my mother is just my mother till i remember. You never replied to my pleas that day dadu because you knew that we are inevitably the same.. same but not the same to abandon me like you did..like you did to your own. Here i am left wondering again would life have been different if you had cherished her, would i then have been saved from the wreckage caused by your neglect?

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Dearest Faye,

I write to you with memories that refuse to fade, untouched by time’s relentless march. October came, and with it, my Persephone walked toward me, wrapped in a veil so sheer that even through it, her joy shone. The town rejoiced, and beside her stood Mrs. Simon—the quiet seamstress, the widow of our haberdasher, a woman who understood how fragile beauty could be. She placed Persephone’s hand in mine, her gaze filled with something I could only now understand.

Her kindness towards us reached far beyond that day. Three days before our wedding, she had willed her dress shop to Persephone, leaving behind not only fabric and thread, but the quiet knowledge that some things must be stitched together to endure. And Persephone did—she flourished within those walls, surrounded by the tavern ladies, the only ones who never cast judgment, who never scoffed at the way she tried to crushed pumpkins in the fields, laughing with her instead, celebrating the simple delight of it. And she, in turn, stitched pockets for them—not merely for their coins, but for the quiet assurance that something in this world could truly belong to them.

Then came fate to bring bitter cold to my amber summer. A slip of old shears, a wound that should have healed. Ms. Fairbanks—our town’s nurse, ever steadfast in the absence of any doctor—tended to Persephone’s hand, but still, she weakened. Her fingers trembled over fabric, her appetite waned, and day by day, she drifted further. In those final moments, she asked me to read to her—The Wind In The Willows, the story she had loved since childhood. And as I spoke its words aloud, I saw her more clearly than ever; how deeply she believed in kindness, in welcoming others, in offering warmth with no expectation of return.

She never saw the carving I endeavoured to make—a little badger, shaped from worn wood, meant to sit upon her worktable when she found her strength again. When I arrived home on tired evening, Ms. Fairbanks and Judah—her son, stood waiting, their silence heavier than words. I sat by Persephone’s side, held her hand, and adored her face once more as her breath faded. I gripped tighter, as if I could hold her here, as if warmth could endure without its source. But she was already gone and with her the energy she brought to my world.

Now, there is only absence. The fields lie fallow, my hands idle; the last time I touched the earth, it was to bury my heart. The carving remains unfinished, its purpose lost, abandoned like everything else. Persephone was my sun, and without her light, nothing thrives—nothing lasts, nothing can hope to grow in her absence. I am without a piece of my soul, my existence failing from lack of purpose.

Faye, you were dear to her, as you are dear to me. She admired you, carried thoughts of you close to her heart, and so I write not only to honour her but to reach for what remains. If anything endures, it is in the hands we reach for when all else fades, in the quiet spaces where kindness once grew.

Faithful friend,

Simpish Anon

My Dearest Simpish,

While I am delighted to once again read your prose upon the page, I am filled with worry about you and your sorrows. Time is an inglorious thief, and from the sound of it a thief that has stolen much from you of late. I too have felt the cold emptiness of loss, the deliberate and maddening pace of the world moving around me even while I crumpled to the ground frozen and stilled in a void of grief.

All that I can advise is to think on your love, your Persephone, and to think on how she would have wanted you to spend your days once she was gone. Surely she would have wanted you to smile and feel the sun and to find things to bring yourself joy. The thawing of a heart frozen in mourning is no quick or easy task, but it is a task that you must set your mind to- for Persephone's sake as well as your own.

Start with something small. Small steps are better than none at all, and will still get you to your destination with enough patience. Take up your little badger carving again, perhaps, and in doing so build a bridge between what once was and your life as it is now. Let it be a reminder of your love and dedication, rather than just a symbol of lost purpose. You deserve to feel purpose again and I have confidence that, in time, you will.

With fondness,

-Faye