#I GET THE JOY OF REDISCOVERING YOU | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eufezco · 5 months ago

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A FRESH START 𓂃 𓈒 ❀

synopsis — after leaving wakanda, bucky starts to rediscover who he is while living with you, slowly bulding a new life. his dispair deepens and you offer him a fresh start with a simple act: cutting his hair.

angst. fluff

—you have to stop thinking that every time something good is happening to you it's because something worse is on the way. that´s not a way to live, buck —. you said softly, your voice steady but with a hint of concern.

bucky shook his head, running a hand over his face as a sign of desperation. if only he could remember what life felt like before hydra took him, before all those wasted years. after so long he was still trying to figure it out, still trying to find a version of himself that didn’t feel like a stranger. trying to get used to his new life in the city, far from the peace he had known in wakanda. all these sudden changes only made him more confused and it wasn’t that he didn’t want to adjust, it was that he didn’t know how.

it had been a almost a year since bucky had moved in with you, since you had defeated thanos and steve had left. when the dora milaje declared him ready to live a normal life, bucky stood there, unsure of what that even meant. he had no place to go. louisiana crossed his mind for a moment, sam had always extended an open invitation but the thought of intruding on sam’s family life stopped him, and steve was gone, something he chose not to think much about, so for the first time in over a century, bucky was truly on his own.

except he wasn’t. you were there.

when you found out he needed a place, you didn’t think about it twice. he resisted at first. ayo told him you were the right person to star building his new life. you trust her, you trust her more than you admit. that is where you begin. trust. she is the right person to help you build this new life, james.

and he couldn't remember what you two had shared before hydra took him, before everything fell apart but there was a pull. by the things steve told him, you three were best friends once, inseparable. he spoke of nights you spent laughing, of how he’d head home early, leaving you and bucky behind, knowing that bucky would arrive later, with a big smile on his lips. steve chuckled when he mentioned your lipstick, smeared on bucky’s mouth when he finally made it back. you never wiped it off, you wore it like a badge of honor.

bucky tried to imagine it, those moments of joy but the memories never came. but he could still feel it. he felt it that day in wakanda, when you arrived with steve and natasha to fight thanos. you smiled at him, just a brief moment in the chaos, but it stayed with him. there was something so familiar about that smile, something warm and he felt it too every time you visited him or sent him what had once been his favorite sweets, little reminders of a life he no longer remembered but somehow still carried with him.

so, he showed up at your door a few days later, a bag hung over his shoulder and a sad look in his eyes. he didn't try to argue this time. —you sure about this?

you didn’t hesitate. —absolutely.

living with bucky was easy. he was quiet, he didn't need much space. after months, he started making it his place too, little by little. he left his shoes by the door beside yours, the book he picked up from one of your shelves appeared on the coffee table, his leather jacket draped over the back of a chair.

—it's not that easy —. he murmured, his voice heavy with exhaustion.

you watched him. —i know it’s not, —you said softly, stepping closer to him. —but you don’t have to do it all at once. no one expects that from you.

he shook his head again. —feels like they do, —he said, his blue eyes looking directly into yours. you could see the sadness and the guilt of the moments he couldn’t take back. —feels like every time i mess up, it’s just proof that i don’t belong here. as if this life was not made for me —his voice was low, barely more than a murmur. —what if the only thing i'm good at is killing?

you took a deep breath. it was hard to hear him say that, to see the man you’d known before hydra, who was your best friend and the love of your life, now drowning in self-doubt and guilt. —you’re more than what they made you.

—am i? because that’s all i’ve ever done. all i know how to do.

—but it’s not who you are, it’s what they forced you to be. the fact that you’re even asking this? that you’re fighting to be someone better? that’s proof enough that that wasn't you at all.

he closed his eyes tightly and ran his hands through the long strands of his hair. for a moment, you just stood there, watching him. you wanted to pull him back from whatever dark place his thoughts had taken him, but you hesitated, ayo told you to do so, to let him space to feel this, to fight against it, even if it hurt.

—i can still feel him inside my head, i can hear his thoughts. he's not gone.

bucky’s fingers suddenly grabbed the roots of his hair with a little more force. his breathing grew faster, his hands shook and his eyes squeezed shut. you couldn't see how deep his pain was and not do anything to stop him from hurting himself.

you stepped closer. —bucky, hey… —your hands sneaked into his hair, softly pulling his grip from his scalp. his hands were trembling, and for a moment, there was resistance in him like he wasn’t sure he wanted to let go of the only thing he could hold onto. but your touch was soft, familiar and something shifted, almost imperceptible, but you could feel the tension in him loosen.

—the bucky i knew isn’t gone. he’s still in there. i see him every time you fight for something good, every time you try to make amends, every time you care about the people around you, about me.

his shoulders fell, and his head hung low, he didn’t want you to see him like this, weak and broken. but you had seen him in his darkest moments as the winter soldier and you had experienced thanos taking him away from you with the blip. the years without him had been a painful, you thought you lost him forever. yet there he was, standing before you, alive, and you weren’t about to let him go again.

your hands gently moved to push the back of his head, guiding him to rest his forehead on your shoulder. he was still a bit unsure about how to handle this type of physical contact, used to years of torture, where touch always meant pain, control, or something to fear. now you held him close to your body, his arms hanging limply at his sides.

—why don’t i cut your hair?

—cut my hair?

—yeah, it´ll help you to see yourself in a different way. a fresh start.

bucky pulled back a little, he wasn’t sure if you were joking. —you think cutting my hair will fix everything?

you smiled softly, you wished it could be that easy. —no, —you admitted. —but ayo told your new life will be built on small things.

bucky sighed.

the idea of letting go parts of himself that tied him to the winter soldier felt like a whole world. first, it was his metal arm, the one with the red star, when tony ripped it off of him, bucky felt relieved, like tony was cutting one of the heads of the hydra to end the monster. in wakanda, he learned to live using only his flesh-and-blood arm until they gave him a new one which he only intended to use for good.

and now you were asking to cut his hair.

—ayo did say that, didn’t she? —he murmured, almost to himself.

—she’s a smart woman and besides, it’s just a haircut. if you hate it, it’ll grow back.

a small smile appeared in his lips. —if it ends up bad, i’m blaming you.

you took a chair from the kitchen to the bathroom and he sat down in front of the mirror. bucky stared at his reflection as he pressed his lips into a thin line and sighed. he didn't like mirrors, he avoided them as much as he could. he didn't like the person staring back at him, he didn't know who that man was and now sitting on that chair there was no escape.

there was a difference this time. next to one of the things he most hated to look at—his reflection—was one of the things he liked the most to look at—you.

his blue eyes moved from his reflection to yours. you stood behind him and ran your hands gently through his hair. he felt that familiar tickle in his stomach, the one he first felt almost a century ago and that, even after all the years, it hadn't gone away.

he felt it every morning when you entered the kitchen, hair a mess from sleep, mumbling a soft “good morning” to him. he felt it when he came home in the evenings and dinner was ready and you were sitting at the table, waiting for him. he felt it most when you would fell asleep on the couch and he had to carry you to your bed, careful not to wake you. and you'd ask him in your sleep to stay, and he'd freeze, he wanted to say yes, he wanted to stay. but he couldn’t risk it, his nightmares were still too real. so bucky would gently place you in your bed, making sure you were well tucked in, and whisper, i’ll be in my room, if you need anything.

—are you ready? —you asked him, bringing him back from his thoughts. you already had the scissors in your hand and bucky shifted in the chair at the sight of them. —it'll be okay, buck.

—feels like more than just a haircut.

you nodded, understanding. —well, that's what we wanted, isn't it?

bucky swallowed and nodded.

—why don't you close your eyes? i'll let you know when i'm done.

with a deep breath, he did as you said. your lips curved into a small smile even though he could no longer see you. you were aware of all the progress he had made. you knew he trusted you with his heart because on no other occasion he would willingly keep his eyes closed with someone standing behind him, scissors in hand and when your hands rested on his shoulders, he hadn’t flinched at the contact.

—okay, i'll start.

with his eyes closed it was much easier to feel the delicacy with which you treated him. the way your fingers combed through his scalp and then the sound of the scissors, followed by the sensation of the strands falling and taking with them the weight he had carried for so long. and you talked, about anything that crossed your mid so he did not feel that he was in danger or he had to be alert at any time.

—maybe we could get a cat, —you said. —i think it’d be nice. do you think you’d be a good cat parent?

—maybe —. he said after a pause. —i definitely prefer a cat to a dog.

you switched to the clippers, you left the hair at the top of his head a little longer, while the rest of it was cut shorter. a very chic haircut for someone born in 1917. you carefully checked that his hair was even and then you styled it with your fingers.

—okay, i'm done, you can open your eyes.

bucky hesitated for a moment, then opened his eyes. your breath caught in surprise as you watched him take in the sight of himself. it was like having the bucky you once knew staring right at you through the mirror. his features were the same, just a bit more more defined and mature.

he felt the same relief as when tony ripped off the metal arm that hydra embedded in his body, like a part of him that had once been used against him, now freed. he turned his head slowly to both sides to get a better look and to be honest, he liked his new look. physically, he could see the resemblance to the man in the photos you had shown him, the young soldier who smiled to you, in love.

—how do you feel? i think it suits you —. you asked gently.

bucky nodded. —i like it —. he caught your gaze in the mirror. the eye contact was so intense that you had to look away. you cleared your throat, hoping to ease the tension, but the heat rising to your cheeks betrayed you.

—alright, come on, —you tapped his shoulder for him to stand up. — i'm going to sweep your hair off the floor.

bucky got up from the chair and turned his head to look at you, not through the mirror this time, but directly, and the sudden closeness made your breath hitch. —thank you for doing this.

—you don't need to thank me, buck. i'm glad it turned out well, it was my first time doing it.

—you sure about that? —he asked—it doesn’t feel like it was your first time.

you laughed, still avoiding his gaze. —guess we got lucky, then.

there was a silence; you were both too close, but not close enough yet. bucky’s eyes moved to your lips for just a fraction of a second, but it was enough to make your heart race. you could both feel the tension, an invisible string pulling you toward each other, daring one of you to close the gap. you didn’t want to take the first step, you didn’t want to push him into something he wasn’t ready for, the last thing you wanted was to break the fragile trust he’d built with you.

you opened your mouth to say something but he talked first.

—can i kiss you? —his voice was low, almost shy.

you were surprised because you didn't expected him to ask so directly, but consent was so important to him. he spent too many years under someone else’s control, forced into actions that weren’t his own, and now he was determined never to cross those lines. it wasn’t just about asking to kiss you, it was about making sure that you were comfortable, that you wanted this just as much as he did.

—yeah, —you whispered —you can.

bucky stepped closer, his flesh-and-blood hand reaching to cup your cheek, his fingers gently brushing against your skin. he leaned in, his movements careful, giving you every chance to pull away. but you didn’t. you leaned into him instead, your lips finally meeting his.

he felt strange. he had wanted to kiss you for what felt like forever, and now that he had, he wasn’t sure what to do next. his mind raced, trying to remember how this was supposed to go. he forgot about kissing, forgot about the rhythm of it, the give and take. his hand slipped from your cheek to fall awkwardly at his side as he pulled away from your lips just enough just to say:

—i don't... i don't remember how to do this.

—it's okay. you're doing just fine. there’s no right or wrong way. just… follow me.

this time, when your lips met, you moved slowly, guiding him. his tension disappeared as he mirrored your movements, his right hand returned to your cheek, the other, his metal one, moved to hold your hips. it wasn’t perfect, the movements of his lips were still hesitant, but there was something honest about the way he kissed you.

as he kissed you, bucky became more aware of his body and where his hands were and realized that his metal hand was resting lightly on your waist. he pulled the hand away quickly. —i'm sorry, i didn't mean to...

you shook your head, one of your hands flew to the back of his neck to connect your lips while your other one grabbed his vibranium arm and guided his hand to where it was before. as the kiss deepened, you felt him relax, stop worrying about whether he was doing it right or wrong, about the touch of his cold hand on your skin, and he just kissed you.

you hummed before parting ways. his cheeks were flushed, his lips were a bit swollen and glossy, his breathing a little uneven and you couldn't help a little laugh from escaping your lips.

—okay, now you're just laughing at me.

—you're so cute, buck.

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rikkivoid · 9 months ago

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this is my final post! the past few years have been amazing - thank you for everything <3 (more info below the cut)

I will no longer post on this account and wanted to write a note to explain and say goodbye.

Bnha and the bkdk fandom have been a constant source of joy and excitement in my life since 2018 - you were all so kind and encouraging towards me, and I grew so much in skill and confidence as a result! I’ll really treasure my time in this fandom. I loved experiencing so much incredible fanwork and freaking out over exciting moments from the series with everyone in real time. (I still remember choking on my drink and falling to the ground when I saw the vol.29 cover on my tl omg… it was life changing.)

I went on hiatus last year to reconnect with my passion for making art outside of bkdk and learn what I wanted to create without the influence of external validation. I had time to reflect on how much I was influenced by numbers on social media. I thought they didn’t affect me, but in truth, they completely ruled my artistic judgment and decisions. I found new hobbies, new media, experimented with different mediums and subject matters, and in the end… I rediscovered my joy for making art!

This year, I gave myself a fresh start instead of returning to this account. This is partly because I really enjoy exploring erotic and transgressive themes and I don’t want to share it on a large account to people who followed me under a different pretense haha. But the main reason is that I wanted to create a space without any expectation for what kind of art I should make based on my previous work (since I know the majority of people follow me because I draw bkdk, and I mainly draw ocs and unrelated fanart now).

All this to say, I hope we can cross paths in the future, but if that day never comes, thank you for the wonderful memories and support you’ve given me over the years! This fandom has so many incredible people in it and I sincerely wish you all the best. PLUS ULTRA!!!! and farewell! :’3

Lots of love,

Rikki <3

[This account will stay up, but I won't be checking it much. If you have any questions or would like to get in touch, email me at [email protected] and we can go from there!]

#katsudeku #bakudeku #mystuff #i love you #thank you for everything #bnha 340

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lynleaf · 2 months ago

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how age regression has helped my relationship with food 💗🥪

tw / food (pos) / all of these things are things you can do while big, but this is my personal experience relating to agere! (pics are mine)

- making my meals cute has made eating more fun and engaging!

things like getting to play around with shapes when preparing fruits and veggies, adding in hearts and sprinkles to my meals, making faces and friends out of food has made eating so fun and less of a chore! also using cute plates, lunchboxes, and utensils!

- my food doesnt have to make sense to anyone but myself!

i am finding a lot of liberation in eating the weirdest food combinations without caring about it if seems weird or out of the norm! age regression has helped me be more carefree about my food choices!

- age regression has helped me remember new foods i used to like as a kid that i "grew out of" as i got older!

rediscovering kids meals and dishes that i used to love when i was bodily younger has gifted me with lovely nostalgia. and now that i'm bodily older, i can tweak the dishes with my own autonomy to make them fit my taste exactly! and there's no pressure to eat everything or to not ask for more! i can do what feels right to me.

- i'm not focused on what's healthy, but rather what makes me happy!

age regression has brought me so much joy when it comes to food. i love eating silly snacks, cute desserts, big meals, small meals, and just listening to my body! i'm able to buy all the snacks and food i wasn't able to eat when i was younger, and it feels so amazing to be able to give myself the childhood i didn't have.

#lyn's diary 📔...🍅🐛#lyn's pics ..[◉°]ㅤ♡#lyn's thoughts ≽^• ˕ • ྀི≼#agere #age regression #sfw blog #sfw agere #age regressor #sfw interaction only #sfw #agere blog #agere activities #agere community #agere help #agere tips #safe agere

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a-hermit-pining · 3 months ago

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Househusband Caleb

AN: Everyone who bargained their first child and soul, pay up ��🏻 jk please enjoy! Thank you for being online strangers who make me happy.

Genre: Househusband au

Pairing: Caleb x gn reader

(I do not own these characters)

He just sort of takes a break from the fleet… and that break turns into a full-on career change. Sure, he enjoyed being a fighter pilot, but those years had been grueling, demanding both his life and his morals. He doesn’t regret it, but he doesn’t miss it, either.

The two of you never really had time to sit together, to talk, or to steal even a few peaceful moments without work pulling one of you away.

But now, he’s come to love the mornings, where he can chase you down with breakfast. Afternoons, where he surprises you at work with lunch. And evenings, when your smile blooms as you come home to him.

After a lifetime of running in all directions, he’s found joy in the quiet life. It takes him a while to figure himself out, to rediscover who he is beyond the fleet, beyond revenge. And your home gives him just that.

He integrates into the neighborhood effortlessly, the type to charm all the neighbors with homemade desserts, join kids in games of hide-and-seek, and somehow turn into the guy everyone waves at when they pass by.

And the moms love him too, he is the newest addition to their gossip session because the food he brings to the potlucks makes him an elite member. So neighborhood intel is all in his hands.

He’s not exactly your manic pixie dream boy because he was once a sad beige mom (ref his Skyheaven penthouse). Therefore, he is your pragmatic pixie dream boy.

He probably gets into something super niche, like wood carving or running a pop-up bakery stand, which eventually grows into his own small business. It gives him something to focus on, something that’s just his.

That said, he’s big on DIY. One day, you leave for work and come home to find detailed plans for a sunroom in the backyard. “I had some time,” he says, as if he didn’t just design an entire architectural expansion in a single afternoon.

Your dogs love him. He’s a big dog guy. The type who bonds with huskies, retrievers, or labs. He loved taking them on walks, so a whining huskies seems like just the challenge he needs in his cottage core life.

Weekends are a treat in your shared household. After countless failed attempts to wake up early and cook him breakfast before he’s up, you finally manage to pull it off once. And the way his eyes light up when you and the dogs walk in with the breakfast tray? Worth it.

If you’re a corporate weapon, then by all means, spoil him. Sure, he has his own money from years of service, and he’d never ask for anything. But have you seen how attached he is to that dog tag necklace? There’s no way he wouldn’t absolutely treasure everything you give him. It’s not about the price, it’s about the fact that it’s from you.

But it is the days, when you randomly bring him flowers that make him the happiest. Just a simple gesture of appreciation is deeply felt, quietly cherished, as he arranges him into the vase on your dining table.

At this point, your coworkers are used to stashing away the gifts you get delivered to the office for him, just in case he shows up for lunch.

He always makes a point to bring snacks for your colleagues, partly because he enjoys baking, and partly because it never hurts to have allies in the office. After all, someone has to keep him updated if anyone dares to hit on you.

He also makes sure to prep all your favorite snacks over the weekend because hangry you is beyond even him. He swears by an ingredient household, better believe he’s your personal Nara Smith, whipping up cookies-and-cream ice cream from scratch just because you had a craving.

Would be absolutely hilarious if you both dressed up as Nara and Lucky for Halloween. He’s Nara. Obviously.

#fluff #caleb x reader #love and deepspace #love and deepspace Caleb #househusband au #gn reader #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace x headcannon #he's sweet

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astrojulia · 5 months ago

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Asteroid Fay (4820) in the Natal Chart

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The asteroid Fay (4820) gets a lot of fairy stuff when you see posts about this asteroid, but I don't see it that way. I may be tripping on this analysis, yes, but let's go. It was named after a pilot, Fay Gillis Wells,a woman. If it is hard to come by in those areas these days, imagine back then. So I see it more as the feminine authenticity, the part that was repressed from you when you were a child because it wasn't adequate, that part of you that only many years later you realize was killed because they didn't believe in it. Much like Tinkerbell when they didn't believe in her. It's a part of you that was repressed not by your fault, but by others. The fairytail that was killed when you were a girl. I di this analysis focusing more on why it was named that way and it trajectory than just thinking about what Fay means. So, in the end, I just tried to have some fun doing this post, sorry.

Fay in the Signs

The sign where Fay is reveals the flavor and tone of your feminine authenticity—the unique, often misunderstood part of yourself that might have been repressed by external expectations or societal norms. Over time, rediscovering this part of you brings empowerment, healing, and the ability to honor your authentic self in ways that were once denied.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 Aries: Your boldness, confidence, and pioneering spirit may have been stifled, perhaps through discouragement of your natural leadership or independence. Others might have seen your fiery self-expression as "too much." Rediscovery reawakens your fierce courage, rekindling a sense of personal initiative and the ability to unapologetically pursue your desires. You become a trailblazer in reclaiming what was once suppressed.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 Taurus:Your connection to sensuality, material values, and the comfort of stability might have been dismissed, especially if practicality or frugality was overly emphasized in your upbringing. This repression may have made you doubt your worth or feel disconnected from physical pleasure and abundance. Rediscovery brings a deep, grounded connection to nature, beauty, and your self-esteem, allowing you to fully embrace a life of richness and contentment.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 Gemini:Your curiosity, communication, and intellectual playfulness may have been silenced or undervalued. Perhaps others deemed your ideas frivolous or dismissed your need for learning and sharing. Rediscovery empowers your voice, sharpens your wit, and brings the confidence to express your thoughts freely. You reclaim your role as a dynamic storyteller and bridge-builder.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 Cancer:Emotional vulnerability, nurturing instincts, and your deep sensitivity might have been undervalued, leading you to suppress your innate ability to care and connect. Rediscovery allows you to embrace your emotional intelligence and honor the power of your nurturing side. You reclaim the strength that comes from authentic emotional expression and your ability to create a safe, loving space for yourself and others.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 Leo:Your creativity, self-expression, and natural magnetism may have been stifled, perhaps by others downplaying your talents or shaming your need for recognition. Rediscovery reignites your inner flame, allowing you to shine without apology. You step into the spotlight with confidence, celebrating your unique gifts and inspiring others to do the same.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 Virgo:Your practicality and perfectionism may have been emphasized at the expense of your softer, more creative side. Perhaps you were pushed to focus on being useful and efficient, leaving little room for personal exploration or emotional ease. Rediscovery brings balance, allowing you to serve others while honoring your own needs. You reclaim the grace of self-care and the joy of embracing imperfections.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 Libra:Your authenticity in relationships, harmony, and aesthetic appreciation may have been repressed, perhaps due to societal or familial pressures to conform. You might have been discouraged from asserting your individuality or desires for fear of upsetting the balance. Rediscovery empowers you to create beauty and equality in all areas of life, fostering relationships that honor both your needs and those of others.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 Scorpio:Your intensity, transformative power, and deep emotional truth may have been buried, perhaps because others found them intimidating or "too much." This repression may have left you feeling disconnected from your own depths. Rediscovery brings fearless authenticity, allowing you to dive into the shadows, heal, and emerge as a beacon of resilience and empowerment.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 Sagittarius:Your adventurous spirit, love of freedom, and thirst for knowledge may have been dismissed or restricted, leaving you feeling trapped or misunderstood. Rediscovery reignites your passion for exploration—whether through travel, philosophy, or learning. You reclaim your right to seek the truth and expand your horizons, living a life of bold authenticity.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 Capricorn:Your ambition, discipline, and authority may have been repressed, especially if others placed limitations on your aspirations or doubted your ability to succeed. Rediscovery empowers you to take ownership of your goals, aligning your sense of responsibility with your authentic purpose. You emerge as a figure of self-determined success and leadership.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 Aquarius:Your eccentricity, innovation, and visionary ideas may have been shunned, particularly if they challenged conventional norms. This repression might have left you questioning your uniqueness or feeling isolated. Rediscovery allows you to embrace your role as a trailblazer, bringing originality and progressive thought into your life and the world around you.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 Pisces:Your sensitivity, spirituality, and imaginative nature may have been dismissed as impractical or unrealistic, leaving you feeling unseen or undervalued. Rediscovery reconnects you to your intuitive gifts and the dreamlike essence of your soul. You reclaim your ability to inspire and create from a place of deep emotional and spiritual authenticity.

Fay in the Houses

The house in which Fay resides in your natal chart indicates the specific life area where your feminine authenticity may have been stifled, often due to external pressures or unmet validation during formative years. Over time, this placement illuminates the process of reclaiming your suppressed self, allowing you to thrive authentically in this domain of life.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 1st House: Repression here may have stifled your sense of self, physical presence, or how you express your individuality to the world. Perhaps you were made to feel you didn’t measure up in appearance, personality, or confidence, leaving you hesitant to assert your true identity. Rediscovery empowers you to embrace who you are unapologetically, cultivating self-confidence and owning your presence with bold authenticity.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 2nd House: Your self-worth, personal values, or relationship with material security may have been suppressed, possibly by others imposing their priorities on you or undermining your sense of value. Rediscovery helps you rebuild a strong relationship with abundance, teaching you to honor your unique talents and to trust in your inherent worth. You learn to create a stable, fulfilling life on your terms.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 3rd House: Your voice, ideas, or intellectual curiosity may have been dismissed or stifled, leaving you hesitant to speak up or explore freely. Perhaps you felt your thoughts weren’t valued or that learning was too rigidly structured. Rediscovery brings liberation, allowing you to express yourself confidently, connect meaningfully, and embrace your inner storyteller or thinker.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 4th House: Family dynamics or early home life may have restricted your emotional truth or sense of safety. You may have been discouraged from exploring your vulnerability or made to conform to familial expectations. Rediscovery allows you to nurture yourself deeply, reconnect with your roots on your own terms, and even break generational patterns to create a home and foundation that truly supports your authenticity.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 5th House: Creativity, playfulness, and romantic self-expression may have been overshadowed by pressure to be serious or productive. Perhaps your innate talents or joys were dismissed as frivolous. Rediscovery rekindles your passion for life, helping you reconnect with your inner child, celebrate your unique creativity, and find joy in authentic self-expression and love.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 6th House: Service, routines, or health-related responsibilities may have overshadowed your authentic self. Perhaps you were expected to sacrifice your individuality for the sake of duty or perfectionism. Rediscovery teaches you to balance responsibility with self-care, crafting a meaningful and sustainable lifestyle that honors your uniqueness and supports your well-being.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 7th House: In close relationships, you may have suppressed your individuality, feeling overshadowed or compelled to conform to others’ needs. Rediscovery empowers you to create partnerships that are equal and fulfilling, where your voice is valued. This placement helps you strike a balance between connection and autonomy, fostering relationships that reflect your true self.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 8th House: Deep emotional or transformative power may have been buried due to fear, shame, or external repression of your intense nature. Perhaps you were taught to hide your vulnerability, sexuality, or capacity for profound change. Rediscovery brings courage to explore your depths, embrace your shadows, and emerge with a greater sense of empowerment and authenticity.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 9th House: Your thirst for knowledge, spiritual exploration, or adventurous spirit may have been dismissed or discouraged. Others may have sought to limit your vision or impose rigid beliefs. Rediscovery reignites your passion for freedom and learning, encouraging you to embrace your personal truth and explore the world with openness and wisdom.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 10th House: Your public role, career ambitions, or sense of purpose may have been restricted, perhaps by societal expectations or self-doubt. Rediscovery aligns you with a career or legacy that reflects your true nature and aspirations. You find the courage to step into your authority and pursue a path that feels authentically meaningful and impactful.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 11th House: Your individuality within groups or your visionary ideas may have been suppressed, possibly because they challenged norms or went against the grain. Rediscovery helps you find your true community—those who support and celebrate your unique contributions—and reconnects you to your ideals and dreams for the future.

∞ ₒ ˚ °𐐒 12th House: Subconscious fears, societal expectations, or hidden pressures may have stifled your spiritual and intuitive gifts, leaving you disconnected from your inner world. Rediscovery invites you to embrace your sensitivity, delve into your dreams, and unlock the hidden wisdom within. You learn to trust your intuition and honor the depth of your soul’s journey.

Fay Aspecting Planets

Sun: Your core identity is tied to reclaiming authenticity. Challenges help you grow into self-expression.

Moon: Emotional vulnerability and healing are central. Rediscovery nurtures your emotional truth.

Mercury: Your voice and ideas reclaim confidence and clarity after past suppression.

Venus: Self-worth and relationships evolve as you rediscover your value and beauty.

Mars: Assertiveness and passion emerge as you embrace your authentic drive.

Jupiter: Personal growth and wisdom come through rediscovering your true nature.

Saturn: Early restrictions transform into strength and discipline in reclaiming authenticity.

Uranus: Rediscovery liberates you to express your unique, rebellious side.

Neptune: Creativity and spirituality guide you to reclaim your authentic essence.

Pluto: Deep transformation and empowerment are key to rediscovering your true self.

Rising: Your journey of authenticity is visible to others, shaping your public image and first impression. Challenges push you to embody your true self confidently.

Midheaven: Your career and public role reflect your journey of reclaiming authenticity. Rediscovery aligns your purpose with your truest self, inspiring others through your professional and personal legacy.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

#astrojulia #astrology #astroblr #all about astrology #astro community #natal chart #astro placements #asteroid fay 4820

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lycandrophile · 1 year ago

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you're gonna detransition in 10 years.

so i get a whole decade of living happily in the body i’m creating for myself now, and then i get to go through the process of metamorphosis and rediscover the joy of chasing gender euphoria all over again? i’ll take it!

i know people like you only see detransitioners as rhetorical tools to use against trans people, but the truth is that detransition is just another kind of transition. why would i be any more afraid of that one than i am of the one i’m in right now? if i was afraid of transitioning, of taking matters into my own hands when the body i have doesn’t feel like home anymore, i wouldn’t have transitioned in the first place. i’m where i am because i truly love this process, because it brings joy into my life, not because i fear it. being human means a life of constant change; none of us are the same people we were ten years ago. i for one won’t run from that change — i intend to greet the person i’m becoming with open arms, however different they might be from who i am now, and i’m sure that whoever they are, they wouldn’t want me to make my life miserable now just so theirs might be a little bit easier.

one of the greatest joys in life is that all of us are capable of change, and capable of enacting that change upon ourselves. i’ve been lucky enough to remold and remake myself once and, should i find myself faced with the opportunity to do so again, i’ll embrace that as the gift it is. there is no greater honor than to be reborn by your own hand.

#anon hate #examples of transandrophobia #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men #transmascs #detransition #<- putting that in the tags is absolutely kicking a hornet’s nest but oh well #god only knows what transphobes are putting in that tag so i’d like this to be there too

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shelbgrey · 5 months ago

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hi!! could u do mark sloan smut? like drunken sex after a long day at the hospital? thank u !

So, we meet again(Mark Sloan)

Paring: Mark Sloan x ex-wife!reader, cheater!Preston Burke x reader.

Summary: The story of two people that always seemed to find their way back to each other. Mark and y/n devorced after he cheated on her with Addison. Y/n moved to Seattle with Derek to start a new life. She starts dating Preston Burke. When Mark comes back, him and his ex-wife don't go down the same road Derek and Addison did, but instead decide to be petty and attack each other in the most childish ways. Mark still loves her though and knows she can do better than someone like Burke and would do anything to get her back. But what happens when she gets cheated on again and a bottle of grown up juice leads her back to the arms of her ex-husband.

Warrings: SMUT, alcohol, enemies back to lovers, unprotected sex, drunk sex, ex husband and wife, Burke cheating, riding.

MasterList ML2

“And bein' apart ain't easy on this love affair

Two strangers learn to fall in love again

I get the joy of rediscovering you”

She hated how everything reminded her of him, even though she was far away from New York and her name was no longer Sloan, There were still small and big triggers that made his face pop in her mind. Y/n and Derek had this case. A 15 year old named Jake Burton, he had advanced craniodiaphyseal dysplasia. Now, naturally y/n was on this case because she specialized in pediatric surgery, but a case like this you'd need a plastic surgeon as well.

The hospital didn't have a plastic surgeon who took advanced cases like this, so naturally Webber called Mark. Weber had a thing about bringing ex wives and husbands to Seattle lately.

“Invasive non-cell. With a history of COPD” Mark said, reading over my shoulder. “That guy's pretty much a goner, huh?”

Y/n sighed, she hated having him here. What she hated most of all was how her heart rate picked up just because of how close he was to her. It was so sickeningly nostalgic, his body being only a hair away from hers and his breath on her neck. She ignored it, she had too. She wasn't gonna fall for it again.

“nice to see you still haven't lost your sensitivity” y/n said sarcastically, not looking up from the computer.

“hard to be sensitive, all this rain gets a guy down”

“Well too bad you won't be here long enough to get used to it” she said, grabbing the chart and walking away.

Mark followed after y/n as she walked down the hall. He knew he shouldn’t be following her, hell she probably didn’t even want him talking to her but he couldn’t help himself. Y/n looked so good, even though she was still pissed at him. The way her hips swayed while she walked, her hair in a tight bun, he always preferred her with her hair down. “I think I could get used to the rain before getting used to your name not being Sloan. I actually asked for y/n Sloan”

“You knew I changed my name after the divorce”

Mark watched as she walked, his eyes traveling up and down her body. He always thought she was beautiful, her curves, her eyes, those soft lips…he had to force his mind to stop going there, especially after all that he put her through. “You look good”

“Can't help yourself, can you?” she rolled her eyes.

Mark smirked as she spoke, his eyes drifting down her body again before he finally looked away. “Old habits die hard”

“Too bad it's your worst ones”

Mark chuckled again, that little smile still on his lips. “Don’t you remember the good habits?”

Y/n did, of course she remembered his good habits. The way he never failed to make her laugh, the way he'd hold her if she was scared or hurting. Y/n remembered he'd cook an amazing meal if she was sad or not feeling up to cooking. In the years they were together he would put her before him, at least that's what it felt like.

She still felt betrayed and all the good memories didn't seem so good now, because now she knew what was happening in between all those good moments. “What good habits?” she finally said.

Mark looked down at the ground for a moment, his mind also wondering to the good parts of their past. He smiled as he remembered when they first started dating. The dates, the way everything seemed so perfect…the way she laughed at his terrible jokes, how she'd fall asleep tucked under his arm in bed, how soft she always felt against him.

After a beat of silence, y/n sighed. “Let's just get this case done”

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

The day was dragging on, we had just convened Jake Burton's parents to let us do the surgery. Mark and Derek were going at it in Webber's office about it for ten minutes. Y/n just wanted to be done for the day, but she still had the rest of the day and Jake's surgery. While Mark was getting a consult, y/n went to take her break in a on-call room. She had half a mind to maybe find her boyfriend if he wasn't busy. Y/n made it an on-call room and she stopped in her tracks. all she saw was her new boyfriend making out with Christina yang.

She stood there shocked and found herself feeling more frustrated than heart broken. Y/n's been through this before, but it wasn't like a painful act of Déjà vu. Seeing him pinning a bitch like Christina yang to the wall made her blood boil, why did it have to be her? Why did she have to be with him shirtless, sticking her tongue down his throat?

Preston saw you. He quickly pushed Christina off of him and approached her. “I can explain-”

“Really?!” y/n said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. She slammed the on-call room closed, loud enough to make Christina jump and a couple of nurses to look up from the nurses station. The door slammed shut with Preston and Christina still in the room and y/n walked away.

“God dammit” Preston pushed Christina to the side and ran after y/n. After the scene she caused, the last thing he wanted was her making a spectacle of herself. He caught up to her in the hall.“y/n, don't walk away, let me explain!”

Y/n immediately stopped in her tracks and turned to him. “alright, genius,” she snapped. “Let's hear it, let's hear the explanation”

He let out a sigh before speaking, his voice quiet. “I...I care for you. I truly do. I can't deny that, but” He looked away for a moment, seemingly trying to find the right thing to say. “I've been seeing her on the side. For a little while now”

“Yeah, no shit!” y/n snapped. She recognized the sighs, this wasn't her first rodeo. She suspected something, but didn't want to believe it. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and not let her insecurities and paranoia get in the way of her being happy. Today only confirmed her suspension. She was hurt, but she found herself not feeling as hurt as she was when Mark cheated. She blamed herself this time, she knew she couldn't trust him.

Preston sighed again, running a hand through his hair as he leaned against the wall. He wasn't ready to lose her, not like this. He hated the fact that he was cheating, he promised her he wouldn't. But he could explain why he did what he did. “Can we talk about this somewhere else? Please. I don't want the whole damn hospital to hear us”

“Why bother, they all find out anyway” y/n held her arms out sarcastically, looking around the hospital.

Preston took her hand and pulled her into an empty room, away from the prying eyes of the others. He was desperate to explain. “Because you are everything I need. Smart. Confident. Talented. Beautiful,” He caressed her cheek gently, trying to soothe her. “But, she's fun. She's like me. We understand each other”

Y/n pushed his hand away from her cheek. “good. You can have her” she snapped.

His eyes widened at her response. “No, I don't want her. I want you. Christ, I don't know why I keep going to her. She understands me in ways you don't” He let out a frustrated sigh, the realization of how horrible this must feel to her fully setting in now.

“I'm sure she does” y/n rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

Christina doesn't understand him, the only thing they have income is their ego and they both think they are God's gifts to medicine. Not to mention he wanted a family and kids, Christian yang was disgusted by all of that. She sighed, running her fingers through her hair in frustration.

Preston could see the hurt in her eyes and it made him feel like crap. He just had to come clean about why he continued seeing Christina. He looked at her with a saddened expression as he exhaled through his nose. “She's...more like me. Her and I can talk about surgery all night and never get bored. She gets it. She's intense”

“I think our relationship just ended,” y/n said softly.

Hearing those words made his heart sink. His head fell forward in defeat, not wanting to accept the truth behind what she said. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to remain calm and collected. It's not like he didn't deserve this; he cheated on her, after all. After a few seconds, he looked up at her. “You're...breaking up with me?”

“I am” she mumbled.

Preston nodded slowly, taking in what she said. He understood why she was breaking up with him; it was warranted. It didn't make the hurt he was feeling any better though. “I...I understand,” he reached for her hand again, gently holding it. “I'll always care for you, you know that, right?”

“Y-yeah”

Y/n let go of his hand and walked away, she didn't know rather to laugh or cry. She also didn't know why it… she wasn't hurting? Walking in on Mark and Addison having sex hurt way worse than this. Y/n was more shocked I supposed, Preston seemed to be the last person that would cheat. He was level head, and romantic, way too mature. Cheating didn't seem to be his style.

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

Today just sucked. Jake Burton was a sweet kid and just wanted to look normal, y/n knew Derek and Mark did everything they could, but it still hurt to see the kid go. After her shift ended she got ready to go home, it was the first time in months she was walking alone. Y/n would usually stay at Preston's place or he'd stay at hers. Thank God they haven't moved in together yet.

The elevator that went down to the front entrance opened. Y/n looked up and saw both Mark and Preston in the elevator. She rolled her eyes, too tired for this shit. “I'll take the stairs” she mumbled and turned the opposite direction before either one of them could stop her.

Instead of home, y/n found herself across the street in Joe's bar. She had been there before with her friends but never brought herself to drink. It just wasn't her style, but tonight all she wanted was a strong drink.

“How many of those have you had?” Mark said, coming up to her an hour later.

Y/n turned to him, she was tipsy, but not drunk yet. She pointed at him. “Shut it. You have no room to judge”

Mark's lips curled into a smirk. “Maybe, but I have room to drink with you” he sat down next to her and brought the glass she had to his lips and sipped her drink. It was scotch, it was the only thing she probably knew to order since that was the only thing Mark drank around her.

“Be my guest” she rolled her eyes. “don't get a say in anything around here anyway”

“Scotch, please and another for her too” Mark nodded to Joe. Joe brought two glasses and y/n took a drink immediately. “I drove you to drink, Jesus Christ”

Y/n tilted her head back and downed the alcohol. She slammed the glass down, The alcohol making her head spin. “Hey, don't take full credit… That fucking heart surgeon helped”

“Yeah, I heard. I'm sorry” Mark said genuinely, downing the rest of his scotch too. Mark hated she heart was broken. He wanted to kill Preston Burke, he didn't deserve her.

“I don't care. That cunt Christina yang can have him. He had stick up his ass anyway” y/n rolled her eyes. She turned to Joe. “Joe, can we have shots please!”

“So you're a no filter drunk” Mark chuckled, he had always seen y/n as strong. But seeing her tipsy and almost drunk was new territory. It was a little amusing. He sipped his drink and chuckled. And she was still so damn beautiful to him. “never saw the day we'd be drinking together”

“Don't get used to it,” she threw back the shot and started coughing. “That's so nasty” she cringed.

Mark sat his glass down and chuckled again. He loved seeing that cute crinkled nose whenever she drank. “you have no idea how hilarious it is for me to see you drink”

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up” she mumbled, taking his glass of scotch and finished it for him. “fuckin' man whore” She mumbled into the glass.

That was a new one for Mark. Sure, he got that insult a lot but never from y/n, even after the divorce. He smirked, taking his glass away from her. “What was that?”

Y/n looked over at him, you could tell she was drunk just by looking at her eyes. “Man. whore” she repeated.

Mark raised an eyebrow at her. There was definitely a hint of anger in her eyes. He liked it much more than he thought he would. He put his glass down, pushing his chair closer so that his knee was in between hers. “You really have a way with words tonight” he teased.

“Just shut up and drink with me,” She mumbled. “before I punch you in your pretty face” she trailed off.

Mark chuckled again. “Did you just call me pretty?” He teased taking the drink from her and setting it down. He took her chin between his fingers, forcing her to look up at him.

Y/n rolled her eyes. “Don't let it go to your head”

Mark smirked, his thumb tracing her parted lips. His body was so close she could feel the tension. Mark's cologne filling her nose. “you want me to stop?”

Her heart skipped a beat. God, she didn't realize how much she missed the smell of that cologne, missed the feel of him this close. She shook her hand no.

Mark smiled even wider. That little nod sent a bolt of electricity through his body. He knew she still wanted him. He was so close already, one more nudge and he could finally taste her again. his hand slid up her jaw to her cheek. His thumb brushed over her cheek bone.

Y/n rolled her eyes. “Are you gonna kiss me or not?”

Mark laughed lightly before closing the distance between them. She felt warm and familiar. Mark's lips met hers and his body melted into hers. After all these months he finally had it. A small moan escaped his lips. He hadn't realized how much he actually missed it. Her lips moved against his, her breath hitched as she carded her fingers through his hair, kissing him roughly. Mark let his tongue part her lips more. Taking full control over the kiss. He pressed his entire body against hers, trying to get as close as he could. His hands found her hips and pulled her body so she was practically in his lap. The smell of her hair filled his nose.

Y/n pulled away abruptly. “Take me home with you”

Mark looked into her eyes. They were dilated and filled with lust. He hadn’t seen those eyes in so long. It made him want her even more. Mark nodded as he reached for his wallet pulling out the money to pay the bill. He stood up, holding his hand out for her. “Come on” He murmured, grabbing her hand and almost dragging her out of the bar.

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

As soon as they got to Mark's apartment, her lips were back on his, the kiss was messy and rushed. Y/n quickly pushed his leather jacket off his shoulders as he pushed her backwards towards the kitchen counter. she moaned against his lips, running her fingers through his hair. Getting them lost in his soft hair.

He chuckled, his hand leaving his jacket to grab her hair, tugging gently as he pulls back from the kiss. “Fuck, I love when you do that” He leans in again, kissing her roughly as he walks her backwards until her back hits the counter.

Y/n moaned, pulling away from the kiss and left messy kisses and love bites down his neck. He groans in pleasure as he feels her teeth marks on his neck. He sets her down on the counter, stepping between her legs as he leans in to kiss her again, his hands gripping her face. “You're gonna leave marks all over me, aren't you?” He murmurs against her lips.

“maybe”

He grins, his eyes darkening with desire as he reaches up to grab the back of her head, holding her in place as he kisses her again, his tongue pushing past her lips. she moaned against his lips, their tongues tangling together roughly as her hands traveled to the buttons of his shirt and tugged them open. He breaks the kiss only long enough to pull his shirt over his head, revealing his toned chest. He goes back to kissing her, his hands roaming down her sides. “You're overdressed”

Y/n’s eyes traveled down his toned chest. She'll never get tired of staring at him, he was perfect in every way. Her fingers trailed down his chest, tracing every muscle. “do something about it”

His breath hitches at her touch, and he quickly moves his hands to the hem of her dress, slowly sliding it up her thighs. “I thought you'd never ask,” He kisses her neck, carefully pulling the dress higher as he moves his lips lower. “Missed this”

“M-me too” she said softly, tugging at his hair he inhales deeply as he buries his face between her breasts, his hands squeezing her thighs possessively. He slowly drags his fingers up her thighs, hooking them around his arms as he tries to pull her legs around his waist. “Damn it”

“I forgot how good you feel” y/n moaned softly at the feeling of his facial hair brushing over the skin on her breasts. She wrapped her legs around his waist and gripped the muscles on his biceps.

His eyes darken with lust as he grabs her waist, one hand trailing up her back to tangle in her hair. He kisses her roughly, biting her bottom lip before pulling back slightly to look at her. “Better than good, baby” He starts to carry her towards the bedroom.

He kicks the door to his bedroom open, stumbling inside with her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. He falls backwards onto the bed, pulling her on top of him as he starts to unhook her dress. “Fuck this dress is cute”

He quickly removes her dress, tossing it aside as he takes in her appearance. He groans appreciatively, running his hands up her sides and over her ribcage possessively. “Damn” He murmurs, his eyes roaming over her.

she reaches for his belt, quickly unbuckling it and tugging it out of the loops of his pants. His abs tense under her touch as she unbuckles his belt, his hands going to her waist to help pull her closer as he lifts his hips to help her remove his pants. He's only wearing a pair of black boxers now, his toned stomach on full display.

her breath hitched as she took him in again for the first time in a long time. She sat in his lap, nothing covering her but her bra and painties as her fingers brushed over his hot skin.

He lets out a low growl, his hands going to her hips as he pulls her closer, his boxers the only thing separating them. He leans in to kiss her, his lips hard against hers as he grinds his hips up against hers. “Fuck, I missed this”

she moaned against his lips as his hardened cock pressed against her clothed core. “M-me too”

His hands go to her back, unhooking her bra with expert precision. He breaks the kiss to look at her, his eyes darkening with lust as he takes in her nearly nude form. He hooks his fingers in the waistband of her panties. He slowly drags them down her legs, tossing them aside as he spreads her thighs to rest over his. He runs his hands up her thighs possessively as he looks her over, his boxers the only thing left between them.

“Please” she moaned softly.

He smiles, his eyes gleaming with lust as he reaches between them to rub his boxers-clad erection against her clothed core. “Please what, baby? You gonna ask me to fuck you? Because if you are, the answer is hell fucking yes”

“Yes,” she said breathlessly. “please fuck me”

With one quick motion, he slides his boxers off and positions himself at her entrance. “You sure about that baby? No turning back once I start,” He teases her, pressing against her but not quite entering. “Last chance” His voice is husky and deep from desire.

“Don't stop! Fuck me!”

With a final growl, he thrusts into her slowly but firmly, filling her completely. One hand grabs her hip while the other moves to cup the back of her neck, pulling her face to his for a passionate kiss. “Missed this.so fucking much”

“Mark!” she cried out as she dug her nails into his shoulders as he thrusted up inside her.

He quickly lifts her up and pushes her into the mattress. He pounds into her hard and fast, not holding back as he wraps his arms around her, pulling her legs over his shoulders to get even deeper. He grins mischievously, his voice low and dominant. “Shut up and hold on, baby”

she shuddered, wrapping her legs around his waist and gripped his biceps tighter. He continues to thrust into her aggressively, his body glistening with sweat as he uses his powerful arms to keep her in place. He nuzzles his face between her breasts, inhaling her scent deeply. “Damn it, you always make me lose control”

“Mark!”

His pace quickens, hitting that spot deep inside her just right. One hand slips between them to apply pressure to her clit, knowing exactly how she likes it. “Cum for me, baby, show me how much you missed me”

the knot in her stomach snapped, making her head fall back in pleasure. She cried out his name as her orgasm washed over her. She squeezed his biceps, desperately trying to ground herself. It felt so good, so intense, sex hadn't felt this good in a long time. Seeing stars behind his eyes from how hard he's squeezing her legs, he continues to thrust into her through her entire release. He's not done yet, not by a long shot. He wraps his arms around her waist and flips them over, so she's on top.

she wobbled a bit at the sudden change of position. She was out of breath and her mind was still fuzzy. She gripped his chest, trying to stay up right. “Look at me” He demands, his hands tightening on her hips. He wants to see her face as he brings her back down to earth, shaking and overwhelmed. He continues to guide her up and down his length, his legs hooking hers to keep her upright.

she moaned and gasped, looking into his eyes. His jaw clenches as he watches her above him, their bodies creating perfect friction. He reaches up to pull her down for a rough kiss, his hands sliding up to cup her breasts. “Fuck, I'm not going to last” His movements become more erratic, showing he's losing control.

“I need to cum again!”

At her words, he flips them back over, slamming into her harder than before. He leans down to bite and suck at her neck, marking her. “Cum with me, baby. Right fucking now!”

With a fierce growl, he thrusts into her one last time, burying himself deep as they both reach their climax together. He collapses slightly onto her chest, keeping most of his weight off despite their sweat-slicked bodies. “Holy shit, missed you so fucking much”

“Missed you too” she said softly and breathlessly.

He nuzzles his face between her breasts, inhaling her scent deeply. He can feel his heart racing, trying to catch his breath. He wraps his arms around her waist possessively, not wanting to move or break the moment. “Stay, please” he murmurs, his voice muffled.

“I'll stay” she said softly, hoping it wouldn't be a bad idea.

#Mark Sloan #Mark Sloan x reader #Mark Sloan smut #Mark Sloan x reader smut #Mark Sloan imagines #Greys anatomy smut #Greys anatomy imagines #eric dane #mcsteemy #greys x reader #Greys anatomy x reader

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n0tamused · 4 months ago

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Hello, can I ask you about Wuwa men with a reader similar to Acheron from HSR? I mean also suffering from such a blessing, loss of taste, colors and memory 🥹

A/n: Sorry for the small wait! I do hope you enjoy this mixed bag of everything lol, I was a bit around the place and yapping. I haven't been able to play WuWa since this summer due to storage problems so these were written with the knowledge I have from the older versions lol.

Contents: Jiyan/Aalto/Xiangli Yao/Mortefi/Calcharo x GN!Reader(separate) that is like Acheron, fluff, comfort, a bit of angst, not proof-read, some of these are shorter than the others as I wasn't feeling particularly motivated for them all equally, sorry

Ko-fi

Jiyan

-It does not take too long for the General of the Midnight Rangers to catch on to your odd persona, “odd” is not the word he’d use, but with the lack of a proper terminology to describe his feeling with the initial encounter he has not much choice but to use it

-He is wary of you, but not unkind, as he usually is with newcomers that seemingly do not visibly come in blazing and wishing to oppose him and all he stands for

-There is a sense of understanding about him when it comes to you, he can practically sense the emptiness that surrounds you and that deep look in your eyes tells him that there is much more to you, something both dangerous and intriguing. Some time may pass before it becomes a routine of sorts to converse with you on a regular basis, and when it also becomes a habit for you despite your fading memory.

-Jiyan never held your weak memory against you, it was one of the things that pointed to something else that he wished to uncover through your blossoming relationship. Even if that thing stood alone as a characteristic of your, he was already enraptured by you, he wanted to help you where he could

-In private and with intimate relationships, Jiyan can be a man of fewer words than when he is on the battlefield with so many eyes on him. Being General means being a performer to a certain extent as well, but with you he can just leave that stage and be himself

-With someone who has lost the sense of taste and the eye for color he tends to hold onto some thread of hope that you’ll be cured of it, be it by his hand or someone else’s. He watches your movements and your mannerisms for any sign of improvement and gets rather excited if he ever spots some, even if it may not be a really big deal to you or anyone else.

-Jiyan doesn’t share the same condition as you, but he understands the feeling of losing something and someone. He knows what it feels like to be adrift without a clear direction. So, he might silently mourn the fact that you can no longer enjoy the small things like colors, tastes, or memories, because he’s had his own form of loss and he felt the pain on his own skin. What he can do is try and dull any pain you might feel, or distract you from it, although he genuinely hopes you are not in pain at all.

-While you may forget past conversations or dates, forgetting such things for Jiyan is a scarce event. He holds every memory close to him, especially if he finds himself far away from you, on distant battlefields where he can only hope you haven’t forgotten about him. But there is also a poetic way to his thinking when it comes to this - if you do, in fact, forget him, he can always start again. He’d never tire, and he’d keep doing it all as long as you’d let him.

-He does leave notes for you around the house that can be quite detailed depending on the context, hoping to help you with the daily routine even while he is away from you.

-Though your memories are gone or fading and your senses have all but dulled, Jiyan would help you rediscover joy in small, often overlooked things. While you can't taste food anymore, he might make it a habit to cook you a meal, hoping that somehow you can still feel the texture or the warmth of the food, and there’s of course the health aspect to it too. And while you can't see colors, he might describe the world in such detail that you feel as though you're experiencing it through his eyes. He also helps you with your outfits if you ask him to! He may not be some fashionista but he can be of good help. In winter he does tend to mother you a bit, telling you to always dress warmly even if you may not feel as cold.

-If he ever came to see you use your “blessing” in combat, he’d be shocked, then in cautious awe. If anyone understands that great power comes with a great cost - it is him.

-You may hold power to move mountains, but Jiyan would always be there to jump in first and protect you.

Aalto

-Aalto would have come to know you through all the various branches of information he perches on, he knew you before had met you in person, but that does not erase his unending curiosity and skepticism

-He is tactical yet unassuming in his approach to you, stepping carefully to see where you stand with him. He is quick to adjust if need be, as in the end, the last thing he needs to happen is you marking him as your enemy and possibly wiping the floor with him

-As mentioned, he does approach you with a certain curiosity, he is guarded and cautious. He has heard and read so much about you but to him this concept of being “blessed” in such a way by an entity unheard of in the whole world is strange at best. There was so much yet so little, at times he was unsure what to think

-Aalto is a whimsical fellow, as we all know, but that is a part of his own public persona. No one would really suspect such a guy of any ulterior motive, and it is a character that has bought him a way into so many places

-It comes as a bit of a surprise to him when he meets you next time and you don’t seem to remember him or parts of your prior conversation. He is questioning whether this is done on purpose to send him a signal you are not interested, but soon he does realize that it is really something serious and not done of your own violation

-Aalto is used to navigating difficult situations with tactical precision, and he prides himself on his ability to control and influence outcomes. However, when faced with someone like you- someone whose condition is so profound and deeply entrenched- he might feel a sense of helplessness. His usual methods of fixing things or controlling situations wouldn’t work on you. He might even feel frustrated by his inability to do anything tangible to heal or help you reclaim you’ve already lost

-But with that being said, Aalto would definitely try and help you in the later stages of your relationship to look for some cure, or at least something to lessen this curse. Even at the start he may point to some cures you can try out. It is not an easy thing to live with and it certainly is not comfortable either. He may not completely understand it, even with the abundance of information he has, it is still unknown territory, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. He never appears too stoic however, and likes to keep a lighthearted tone around you in hopes that at least his jokes and laid back demeanor can keep you calm and entertained, even if for a while, even if you’ll forget eventually

-Aalto would want to bring you “back to life” in some way, but his methods might be a bit unconventional and rather bold when it comes to it. Rather than using gentle persuasion like Jiyan, Aalto might try pushing you more directly, testing your limits, teasing, and seeing how far he can go to provoke a reaction. He may put salt instead of sugar in your food and hope you notice and scold him for it.

-This could come across as both intense and a bit intrusive at times, like a water that’s just about to burst with a boil, but it’s never done out of malice. He’d never do something that would cause you harm. He’d just want to know if there’s any spark left in you, any piece of yourself that could be awakened, and if there’s even a small sand-sized spark, he is more than willing to put all his efforts out to make it shine brighter

-While initially, Aalto might be driven by curiosity and perhaps a need for control, over time he might develop a deeper, more nuanced understanding of your condition. He would begin to realize that there’s no quick fix, no immediate solution or cure for you, and that the journey to healing is one that requires time and patience. This does make him soften, in a rather sad way in which he has to eventually accept this no matter how much he wants to keep fighting for you

-But he is more than willing to be patient, holding that hope at the back of his mind instead of making it his very sole goal. He understands that watching him jump from place to place can also be exhausting for you to see.

-In terms of your memory loss Aalto would take lots of pictures, although sadly not many would include him due to his work, but there would be his handwriting on the back of printed pictures and silly doodles as well, some also done by Encore who has grown quite fond of you

-He leaves flowers for you. After a time he also bought you a plastic potted plant, just so you can have something that lasts, as the last time he bought you a real potted plant it didn’t really live long

-He jokes about it, but he never took it to heart lol he is chill

Mortefi

-It is a bit of a lucky strike of fate that brought you two to meet, considering Mortefi doesn’t exactly go out of his way to meet new people. It would probably be Baizhi or some other that brings you to the Academy, and that is when he’d first get a sense of something different, that void that followed you like a shadow

-It is unclear to him whether this is something he is imagining or if it was something real, but as it is not exactly his field of research, he does not pursue his twinge of intrigue from there

-That is until Baizhi brings it up in conversation at a later date, something about this anomaly in your being, something that went beyond simple ailment of health. It puzzled her. And that conversation with Baizhi did leave a lasting taste in his mouth for days to come, even if Baizhi did not reveal anything confidential to him or anything concrete.

-When he meets you eye to eye he does question you a little bit about what you’re doing at the Academy again, and a conversion flows from there on out as you wait for Baizhi to come and check on you again. He wasn’t the warmest of people to converse with, but he was cordial and didn’t leave you alone in the middle of the Academy. He could tell from your mannerisms and from what you told him in the conversation that you didn’t exactly.. know what’s going on, and by that he also figured out your memory wasn’t the strongest. You made mention of getting a message from Baizhi that very morning, a reminder for you to come in, and he may have snuck a peak at your phone and saw there was more than one reminder before that one. It was a brief glance

-After your checkup, he does coincidentally meet you in the halls again and asks you about it, seemingly a little more softer but still blunt and hardy on the outside

-Mortefi wouldn’t be the type to offer overly emotional comfort. His understanding of loss or suffering would be intellectual rather than empathetic. He has lost a lot in his life as well, but he has always been forced to suppress his feelings, which led to outbursts somewhere later down the line. However, his form of sympathy wouldn’t be wholly detached but rather perceptive. He would sense that your condition is more than just a physical or psychological issue- it’s a fundamental disconnect from the world and your own spirit

- He might not express his sympathy outwardly, but there would be moments when his cold demeanor falters, and he would quietly acknowledge the sadness of your condition, even if he doesn’t directly verbalize it. He grows fond of you, and he takes a while to realize it too. He doesn’t want to believe it at first either - it is simply not logical to him, it doesn’t make sense, and intimate relationships always came hard to him anyway

-Mortefi would offer to make something for you that would help you with remembering things, he would even try to craft a special pair of glasses that would allow you to see colors, a special candy that would allow you to taste certain things..etc. He would try whatever his imagination would bring up, and it wouldn’t be rare to catch him staying up at night, trying to realize this idea into reality

-The loss of memory might fascinate Mortefi the most. He would be intrigued by how a person can live without the things that form their identity. If you think about it, everyone is just a well of memories which form not only their person, but their approach to the world around them. That includes Mortefi as well. If you don’t remember your past, it could mean you’re an empty vessel- a blank slate and therefore easily impressionable, in some way or another. He sees this as risky, so Mortefi may become rather easily irritated, or even anxious in some way, if you stop responding to his messages or if he hasn’t seen you in some time.

-Could be that you just forgot to text him… but that doesn’t stop him from worrying

-He may get a little irritated at you forgetting certain things or being late to appointments and such, but he understands this isn't done by your own choosing, so his anger is redirected at things that actually deserve his anger

Xiangli Yao

-Sweet Xiangli Yao, although when he meets you, and you're no more than another stranger to him, he still feels a sense of empathy for you. However threatening and dark that sense of emptiness that surrounds you is, it is just that which draws him in. Could he make it disappear?

-Xiangli Yao’s first reaction would be one of deep empathy. He is someone who feels others' pain deeply and would immediately recognize the gravity of your suffering. The loss of your senses and memory would weigh heavily on him.

-Of course, at the start he does not know all the details of you situation, he is quite hopeful and eager to help in whatever way he can, so when he finds out this was put upon you by a power higher even than of the sentinel, it is safe to say he feels a bit hopeless. His mind comes at a stop, like rusted cogwheels that he desperately tries to get moving again. Creaks and squeaks are all he gets in return for a while

- His first instinct would be to reach out to you, not just to understand your condition but also to offer support, even if he doesn't know how to fix things right away

-Unlike other people who might approach your condition with curiosity or detachment to satisfy their own curiosity, Xiangli Yao would actively search for ways to help you heal or regain some semblance of the things you've lost. He would likely spend time learning about your condition, asking you about how you feel or what you remember, even if your memory doesn’t work the same way. His compassionate nature would drive him to research ways to restore or help you find balance in a world without your senses and memories

-Given his ability to read people and understand emotions on a deeper level, and with him being made of a rather soft and nurturing nature, Xiangli Yao would be sensitive to how you’re feeling. He’d be able to pick up small cues and mannerisms you may display, reading you like an open book

-Even if you don't express your emotions outwardly due to your condition, he would be able to sense the subtle cues - whether it’s the way you carry yourself or even your tone of voice when you speak. This is even more amplified the more time you spend together with each other. In either case, Xiangli Yao would adapt his approach accordingly, offering emotional support without pushing you to confront anything you're not ready for

-Xiangli Yao's sense of duty and his protective nature would kick in when he realizes the extent of your condition. He would be willing to make sacrifices to help you - whether it’s giving up his time, his resources, or even putting himself in danger to find a cure for you. You may be able to protect yourself, but if he can avoid putting you in a situation where you're forced to do so, he'd do just that. He'd rather be the one fighting than let you fight

-His deep belief in looking out for others, especially those who are vulnerable or hurting, would mean that he would go to great lengths to make sure you’re taken care of, even if it means putting his own needs aside

-Xiangli Yao’s care for you is gentle and affectionate in subtle yet really warm ways, but he would respect your boundaries. He wouldn’t overwhelm you with his affections, but he would express his care in small, meaningful gestures like sending you sweet messages through the little robot he makes for you, and in the same manner he’d send you voice messages too. Similarly to Jiyan he might take to a habit of leaving notes around the house and little treats as well. Even if you can’t taste them, he hopes you’ve enjoyed the little game of hunt for them

-If you'd allow him, he'd hold your hand as you walk around as he tells you about streets you've passed through before if you've forgotten. He'd quietly remind you of the names of others if you need the help and he'd never put you in a situation that would be embarrassing for you, that's the last thing he wants you to feel, especially since this curse is not something you would've wished for if it was up to you. Sure, it gives you great power, but at what cost..? Is it really worth it?

Calcharo

-When first learning of your suffering, he might simply nod, his face calm but with a subtle furrow in his brow. He wouldn’t rush to comfort you or find out more immediately, but instead, he would want to assess whether your condition is something that can be cured or if it's just part of who you are now, or if it something that threatens his work. His mind would be working quickly, formulating potential ways to help, but he would remain quiet, choosing his words carefully

-Despite his stoic nature, Calcharo would feel a strong sense of responsibility toward you, especially if he perceives you as vulnerable. He might not openly show his concern, but he would take steps to ensure that you are protected and taken care of

-Calcharo's emotional distance doesn't mean he’s cold or indifferent to your suffering. He’s simply more reserved and slow to let his guard down. However, as he sees your struggle, a quiet protectiveness would begin to form. He is not emotionless, he’s just buried his hard deep into his duty and deeper still

- He would keep his distance in terms of expressing emotions, but he would become more protective of you, watching your movements, ensuring that you don’t push yourself too far, and subtly stepping in when you need help. He does have eyes and ears everywhere, and may give some of them the task of keeping an eye out for you if he is in a situation where he can’t lend you his supports, due to his missions and duty

-While he may understand quite early on that the power you possess may go over the limit of his own imagination, he would step in to take over instead, telling you to go and wait for him elsewhere. He is rather gruff yet coldly calm in his command to you, he does not play around with work, and especially when it comes to you

-Seeing as he has a..demon of his own, he would come to compare your two conditions over time and correlate them as well, growing a greater understanding of you even if the two conditions don’t equal one another. He can only use his own knowledge to try and understand your experience, and that is the only way he knows

-As mentioned, Calcharo is quite stumped emotionally, he has a hard time expressing himself, so vocally you shouldn’t expect much from him, but if you need any work done, he is your guy

-If he doesn’t know how to do xyz, he most definitely knows another guy that does! Must be magic/j. That being said,his love language is definitely acts of service

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